TigerBelly - Episode 29: Asa Akira and the Dark Hole of Suffering

Episode Date: February 17, 2016

Our pal Asa gets healed by a quack. Bobby receives the best haircut of his life. Khalyla finally gets some support on the analingus debate. Gilbo is smitten after someone calls him "a catch." We walk down a memory lane lined with OxyContin, write letters to inmates, and fall in love with Suki all over again.   Recorded February 15, 2016 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. Ready? I'm gonna do my own cue. I'll do my own cue. Make a good song for Asa. Do your own little improv song. Alright. Ready? Ready? Yeah. One, two, three. Welcome to Taga Belly. My name is Bobby Lee. I'm here with Galila and little Dick Suckin' Gilbert. Not true. He loves the penises in his mouth. He lies to a wind. And we got Asa Akira in the house. Pretty good? Yeah, you did. Not good. Follow up. Anyway, welcome to Taga Belly. Quincy Jones is the guy we had last week. He has cancer. So we have Asa Akira. She's a dear friend of ours. You know, the whole reason why we do this podcast, if you don't know, is because of Asa's podcast, DVD ASA, with David Cho. And I ran into David Cho a year and a half ago. Over two years ago. Wait, for the first time? I don't remember. That was like a million years ago.

Him and I, we've been together for two and a half years. He must have known Dave for at least three years now. It was right before you guys got together. In fact, I want to say like maybe the second or third time I met Bobby. He was like, I just went on a date with this girl and he was like showing me pictures. I masturbated a lot. But I met David at the 101 cafe and then he asked me to do the podcast. And then when I saw Asa, it was as if like two old souls were back together because of the fact that Asa Akira and I met when we were, she was 17 years old. Yes. Yeah. She was living in New York and she was working at the Laugh Factory. Laugh Factory. And I was, and I wasn't, I couldn't draw then. Right. Like I knew Jamie Masada, the owner of the Laugh Factory, but I couldn't sell any tickets. That's not true though. You were, you were on mad TV. I know that's what, but also why the fuck do we have to pass out flyers? You know what? It wasn't you. It was the club because they had just opened and you were like one of the first people to headline there. And it was like this. I don't know. That club was like empty every single night. Oh, it was. And so they were like, let's try this new thing since we have Bobby Lee where they had me for some reason and Bobby passing out flyers to the show. And she was 17. But did you work there as a waitress? I was a hostess. So I just seated people. Oh, okay. But she was a kid. I was a kid.

Jamie 21. Were you in high school? No. Out of your hostess. I don't know if I was in high school. Maybe I was. You were young though. Well, if I was 17, I guess I was. And I remember we did this little ride and some of the, did we do a ride? Yeah, we went on a Ferris wheel. Yeah, yeah. And we ate Mexican food. I remember that, yeah. And then I remember thinking, I remember this like really specifically, I remember thinking that Bobby was the first person I ever met in my life that was like everything you do was funny. Like if you like, if you just like picked up a fork, that was hilarious. And I had never met anyone like that because I never knew any comedians or I mean, I was a kid. Like I didn't know anyone in comedy. So I remember thinking like, wow, like that exists. Yeah. How did he pick up that fork? I'm natural. Bro. I always tell him this. I always tell him that to me, he's funnier and just casual conversation than he is on stage. I mean, I mean, I live with you. So I mean, he always is so, you know, he isn't always sure about his material on stage. And I always tell him it's like, look, anything you say is funny. I agree. Like even you sitting there is like, look at you. Oh my God. It's hilarious. It feels so good, guys. It's like, it's, it's warmth. I love it.

And then years later, this is what happened. I checked my Facebook and she said that she was a dominatrix. Yeah. You had literally, I remember you. How long did you work as a, Oh, yeah. So I was a dominatrix for a year. That was when I was 19. And this guy just like randomly walked up to me on the street and he was like, hey, do you want to be in the sex or the adult entertainment industry? And I was like, yeah, I do. And then I went upstairs to his dungeon. And I started training. But why a dom? Like why? Was there any other thing you could have been? Yeah. At the time, like I didn't even know what my options were. Like I didn't know a stripper or even a hooker or anything like that. Like I, you know, like I went to a private school and I like, it's, I don't know. Like I just didn't know anyone like that. And so this guy came up to me and I was like, oh my God, this is my chance. And it just happened to be that he ran, he was the manager at a dungeon. And at that point I was like, if it were a pimp, I probably would have been like, yes, I will have for $20.

So when you were 17, I could have gone, hey, I give you like $1,000. Are you kidding? It could have been $50. Oh my God. I read it wrong. I read the situation wrong. So in terms of training, what do you do? Like what is training about? So basically, so the guy that, the guy that ran it, he was the manager and he was the manager of the night shift. So that's like the position I was put in. So I think I started work at midnight and went till like 7am or something. And he, he himself was like a submissive guy. And so basically I trained on him, which I mean, looking back is totally creepy. But like I, I, you know, I did crazy shit to him. Like I put a catheter in his dick. Yeah, like I would fuck his pee hole with this like electrocuting thing, which I've learned since then. I like that you're touching your dick. You masturbated. We're in a podcast right now.

I'm not masturbating. I was protecting it from electricity. I envision the electricity. I was like, no, that's my defense mechanism. Thank you. But yeah, like to answer your question, like no, I'm, I'm not like a dominant person sexually. And back then I didn't even know that. Was it more, I mean, when you did it, did you find an like a sexual aspect or did you see it more as work? Did you see it more as experimental? Or did you just do it to appease your curiosity? I think I saw it as experimental and definitely to appease my curiosity. I didn't, I wasn't like horny when I was doing it. I got off more on the fact that I was like learning all this new shit. Like, and I mean, it's not just beating guys. Like you do role play and like there was just everything about it. I was super into like just learn. And also I was on oxys back then.

So it was really fun. So okay, let's have, I was a client. Yeah, let's role play a little bit. So I mean, I don't have it in me anymore. I'll try. No, but just verbally maybe. So what's your name? Are you going by Asa? No, I went by Suki. That's the most age. The manager chose it. So I mean, like, seriously, I'm telling you, I like didn't know anything. I was like, but Asa is such a stronger name. Suki just seems so submissive. That's true.

So I walk in, I go, Hey, Suki. And then what do we do? Let's say I'm new. I don't know what's going on. You've got to really be like a, like a client. I'm okay. Let's do it again. I'm really scared. Like, I wouldn't even deal with that part actually. Oh, so I already fill out a form. I want electricity. I want spikes in my dick. Right.

I want my sack to be exposed to radiation. Right. You know what I mean? I don't know how it goes. Maybe it was Quincy show. Would you get a script the night before so you can know like your play, but you're, you're, you could set up a game plan. Um, sort of like, so they gave me a bunch of books to read, which kind of had like a dialogue dialogues in them. Like you could do it this way or you could say this or that in this situation. But like, honestly, because I was on oxy, I was very like, like everything was comfortable and fun.

And like, I wasn't like afraid of sounding stupid if I said anything. Now looking back, like even if I'm booked for a scene where I'm dominant, like usually I'll turn it down because I'm like, I, I don't even know how to talk like that anymore. Like I, I, I don't know like how to do that. Yeah. Life is a lot harder when you're sober. Yeah. Basic social interactions. It is. It's, it's painful.

Totally. Totally. So it's that like times a hundred. Um, Do your parents know what you're doing at this time? No, but I had, so I wasn't living with them at that point anymore. I was already married. Um, but like for some reason I was like dog sitting for them or something and I had downloaded pictures onto their computer that were like up on the site.

Um, for the dungeon. And like, I, I think maybe I like put them in the trash and forgot to empty the trash or something and they found them and they were like, what is this? And also parents are, um, second generation. Are they second generation? First generation Japanese. Wait, hold on. They're the immigrants. So they are.

So they have accents. So I'm, am I first generation? Your first generation. Yeah, I'm first generation. So they have accents. Yeah. And they're for Japan. Yeah.

So, wow, so that must have been real shocking. Were they city people though? Or were they, they were, so they, they were my dad, his dad, my grandpa is a diplomat. So my, um, my dad moved to New York when they were, when he was like 16. And then when his parents went back to Japan, he was like, I'm just going to stay in New York because I'm basically an adult. Right. And then my mom came when she was like 20 or something. Wow.

They're mad. They had only you. They had only, yeah. Doesn't that suck? I'm an only child. If you had siblings, what do you think they would do in terms of profession? Oh man. I don't know.

I don't, I, I don't know because the thing is like my parents didn't do anything wrong. Like in terms of like, when I see like other girls in porn, I mean the stereotype is like kind of true. You know, like a lot of times there's a distant father or an abuse situation or an addict or, you know, something. Um, but really like my parents did a perfect job. Like they're both, they're still married. Like, yeah, but you can see it in your career though, right? Because you're like the number one. I think that's where it makes a difference.

I think because you had good parents and I think because you were raised well, you were able to be at the top of your field. It does matter. I mean, there, I hope so. I mean, maybe it does carry over. I mean, no matter what profession you would have chosen, I think you would have been, you would have had that in you to succeed in it, no matter what you did. Maybe, yeah. But I do wonder like, why am I in porn? Yeah, but I feel like it's the same thing as why am I in stand up, right? It's like, it's, it's something that,

He's a bigger, I think comedians are bigger whores than actual whores. I always think that you are a bigger whore for laughter and for attention and for actual laughs, not in a bad way. But I do think there is an element of whoring yourself out more so in that, in whatever you do in comedy than an actual whoring. Actual whoring. Yeah, the natural whoring. I think it's, I think it definitely at the core is like the same place though. I think like, I think probably like the way Bobby feels when people laugh while he's on stage is probably the same feeling I get when like I'm shooting a scene or like someone tells me they're jerking off to me. Like, I definitely think it's that same warmth.

Yeah, it's a warmth. Like it's, yeah, it's just like some kind of construed. It's what people get when they go to church, I think. You know what I mean? Of like love. Spiritual love. Yeah. Is it spiritual?

You know what, I don't, you know, I don't view it as, I guess, spiritual. I mean, you know what, I replaced standup with AA meetings back when I was in my twenties and I realized that, you know, because in AA you have this concept of God and I replaced it with laughter because I thought people's appraisal was the same thing. It's not. It really isn't. It's artificial. It's kind of artificial and it's a drug in itself. Totally. And it's definitely something that I don't think ever gets fulfilled. Yeah, it doesn't fix you.

But it feels good in the beginning. You know, I mean, I was, I was just in Houston, I was doing shows and you know, there's some of the shows are really packed and people were having a good time and my opener was like, I literally had tears in my eyes because I was so miserable. Why? I just get miserable. I just get bored. He hates the road. Why? Wait, why?

Well, like, okay, say for instance, when you feature dance or do certain things, is there a monotony to it, to where you're like, okay, like, I don't want to travel. This is exhausting. It's the same thing I do every time. It's the same kind of people I sit in front of. So to them, to people who are watching you for the first time, it's a novel thing, right? It's brand new and exciting, but to you, you've done it 200 times. True. So it's the same thing for him.

He's, you know, it's, he's been doing it for 20 years. Right. It's not, it's that and also it's like, I liked, I liked doing the standup in LA with my friends. Like I like bringing up my friends and, you know, and I could experiment more at this comedy store, wherever I am in LA. And it's like, I get to come home to Kalilah and it's, it's fun. When you're on the road, you're headlining. You have to do a lot of press and there's a lot, there's a sense of pressure that comes with that. And it's like, I mean, yeah, I make good money, but it's, it's not as fun as it was when I used to open for people.

When I used to open for like Paulie or Carlos back in the nineties. It was fun because all I did was like 15, 20 minutes. And there's no pressure. No pressure at all. And I could pick up on girls and, you know, it was everything was so exciting, you know, and now it's like a business. It's like, I have to do well and since I'm sober and since I'm in a committed relationship, all that like party, all the fun shit is gone. Yeah, I definitely feel you on that one because yeah, like when I go feature dancing, it's essentially the same thing as you. I think like I stay in a hotel for a weekend.

Work doesn't start until 11pm. And then sometimes I have to do radio spots in the morning and then it's like this weird thing where like I sleep for like two hours at a time. Yeah, that's exactly what I do. But imagine you had to wear makeup and then like do you take your makeup off after your morning radio thing? Yeah, you know, there's all that. And then but same, I'm sober and I'm in a relationship and outside of, you know, shooting where monogamous. So it's like, yeah, there's literally like, I enjoy the time that I'm on stage and I enjoy the time where I'm doing merch and like meeting people and outside of that, I hate everything. Yeah, everything and I'm naked. So I'm like watching what I eat all day. So there's that too.

Like I don't even have the food to enjoy. Do you guys like because I find sometimes I don't go out to meet and meet and greet because of the fact that they get aggressive, you know, do people get aggressive with you? Or do you have a bodyguard? I sometimes I'll bring someone not so much a bodyguard, but just another body. I think that helps. Yeah, as a girl too. Um, but no, I would imagine people are more aggressive with you and in comedy clubs just because like a strip club is the last place someone's going to try to like start. Because there's security everywhere.

And also with him there, he is a very he seems approachable. He seems very lax and just like, you know, you're always totally meaningly happy and jolly and get inside. But sometimes you don't even do the meet. Do you have that option to not do the meet? No, they'll go, Hey, there's a bunch of people waiting. I can't do it right now. Because I'm crying inside. And they go, Okay, he actually never does. I mean, maybe one. I feel bad about it. I feel bad about it. You know what I mean? It's just that people get like, you know, make someone go, April, you know, he'll grab me, right?

Take a selfie and I look at it's good. Do a funny dude. Yeah, do a funny. It's kind of, it's kind of fucked up when people tell you what to do. Yeah. And you're like, No, I just did it. No, dude. I can't just post that. Yeah. And then you're in an argument and that meanwhile there's 80 guys waiting to do the same thing. And meanwhile you were doing a favor really.

So. Yeah, it is a favor, but it's also I want to do it for them because they came out. So I'm trying to be nice and also be by being small. People physically manhandling like I'll have white dudes just pick me up on my neck. Dude, look at this dude. We can put them on our, you know, in the front of our car and drive around town. You're like, No, you can't. I'm a human. So it's like, you get a lot of that or like somebody put me in a headlock from behind.

Do you? I never last so hard, dude. Right. And they'll put you in a headlock and you're like, you're like, what are you doing? Don't touch me. Yeah. You've been in a fight with a fan? Oh, I've been, I've been physically beat up. Yeah. Whoa. Damn.

Tell them about that one time in Long Beach where you got body slam. Oh yeah. This guy, this red neck picked me up on my neck and he pulled me off the ground. On stage. He was, he, he. Wait, but why? Well, because I grabbed his penis, but my point is. No, listen to me. Not his penis, like through his jeans.

Oh, okay. It's the Korean hello. Everyone knows that. Wasn't it part of your act? It's a part of my act. That doesn't make it okay. Like if anything, you're making it worse than worse. This is bad. Yeah.

Anyway, I did it and he picked me up on my neck and slammed me on the ground and I got knocked unconscious. Also, why did you pick that guy? Well, that's why I learned. What I learned is this, is this, is that you can't force it. You have to pick volunteers. You have to pick volunteer. That's how, that's why I asked for volunteers now.

Cause he does a dance at the end of his, of his set and he asks people like, you know, who wants to dance. He does. He featured dances. Wait, so is your act very different when you're like on, when you're like the headline? Oh yeah. You see, I see. That's the thing. That's why here's the thing.

When I'm headlining, I do things like, you know, we go into the audience. You know what I mean? I do. Cause I've never seen you do that. Yeah. A longer set. I do dancing. I do all kinds of stuff.

Right. So you haven't seen me like the next time I'm in Irvine or Brea Improv. Yeah, you have to come. It's a completely different show. It's a completely different show. Cause it's a comedy store. He only does 15 minutes. 15 minutes.

Yeah. Yeah. But that's why I like the comedy store because I can just go up and be a real comic and just kind of write. Right. But I just feel like there's an entertainment value when I go on the, on the road as a headliner that I feel like I need to give them, you know, I can give them everything I feel like. No, I, I totally know you mean, I feel that way too.

When I feature dance, I definitely feel like I'm not doing enough to deserve even my rate from the club. Yeah. Like a lot of girls put on a whole burlesque show and they have these really intricate outfits. And meanwhile it's like I come out in a bikini. Is she doing a Sadoku right now? Yeah.

I'm like, I'm not a good dancer. That's the other thing. Yeah, you are. No, I'm really not. Yeah. But I think that's the payoff though. You've, you've worked hard and you've built yourself up in, in a different way to where, to where you can show up in a bikini and probably just stand there and do nothing and still be

deserving of it. I think I like it by on my sluttiness. Like if they'll let me fuck myself on stage, that's the best because then I'm like, you don't notice I'm not dancing because I'm fucking myself. Gotcha. It's old Ninja trick. Yeah. Ancient and Ninja.

Let me ask you something. So after the dominant, cause I'm more curious about, cause I've never known this, how that the transition between being a dominatrix and going into the adult film industry, like how does that happen? It was really gradual and I, I see them as like kind of like graduating steps. Yeah. Like I went from dominatrix to stripper and then, and then from stripping, I was like briefly on this radio show in Tampa called Bubba the Love Sponge.

And then he was on Howard, right? Yeah. He was on Howard 101. And that's the only reason I went on in the first place cause I love Howard Stern and I was like, Oh, this guy's on his channel. I'll go. And then, and then they really liked me. So I ended up doing that for a year and then I met Gina Lynn who was like this legendary

porn star and she got me into porn. So it was like, it, it was like a few years. It, I mean, I was stripping for like two years and then your commitment level in your movies are so crazy. I cannot fucking watch it. Yeah. I commit. I look at it and I, and my, I don't know why, because

Your heart stops? No, I don't die. Great. Yeah. Yeah. No, but it, it, it was a part of me because I love you. I really do. I love you as a person and you're my friend and I'm just, when your face gets stretched

out and it's all, it's all wet, you know what I mean, and liquefied, you know what I mean? I would say most people who've known me like outside of porn, before porn do not like to watch my porn. I mean, I guess that's normal, but yeah, I think it freaks them out to like, well, yeah, I mean, I masturbated to you before. See, here's what happened. Wait, what's going on?

No, I'm going to tell you, just listen, no, the white guys freaking out, the white guys are like, look at the white guys are like, oh, they're getting all pink. If you have, I crossed the line, I crossed the line, a white line, a white line, a little yellow line. If you had never, ever masturbated to Asa, I think there was something wrong with you. No. Like truly. Because I think I've masturbated to Asa, so I for sure want you to.

Yeah, when she, before, okay, after the Facebook dominatrix thing, I lost touch with what you did, right? And so I have this porn, right, where it's like a black, black with Asians, I know something kind of porn. A black with Asians. Something like that. Right. That's probably a real porn title.

Blacks with Asians. Maybe entertain it, black with Asians. What? Yeah. And I used to like that kind because you know, the little Asian girls, their vaginas get stretched out. Stretchy. Just like the guy from the Fantastic Four.

Oh, Mr. Fantastic. Yeah. Yeah. They get stretchy. He actually has, I remember watching, we had only been together, I think, two, three months and I told him, it's like, hey, let me blow you to some porn, but he chose the oddest old tape that I had ever seen in my life. It was like, yeah, it was like an, like, I don't even, it was like an old CD, I think.

It was five Asian guys and they were all not well endowed, but it was done in Asia. Was it Japanese? Yeah, he especially got super excited when the guy with the smallest dick was the one getting blown. Yeah. Yeah. I love that one. You know which one it is, right?

It was, no, that's not what, you have the situation wrong. I know what porn you're talking about. Tell me. Explain it. It's a DVD. It's this. It's a bunch of white dudes in Florida. Oh my God.

No, no, no. I swear to God. You guys are like, you know, that showed the affair. Yes. I love that. It shows like both different stories. Yes. You guys are that.

I'm going to tell you, I'm going to just write, and this is what happened. This is why I love it. Okay. There's one girl and she's blowing all five guys and there's one black guy. There's one Asian guy. Oh, that's right. One Asian guy. And he's left out of the circle.

All right. He's like cuckolded. Yeah. He can't get into the fucking circle. Wait. Is that the, is that supposed to happen? No, no, it wasn't. No, it wasn't a theme.

He was just, he was confused and he was scared. It was real. And he was Asian. And it wasn't well scripted. I think he just, they just threw him in there. Yeah, they threw me. Excuse me. You know what I mean?

I could hear it every once in a while. Danny backup. Danny backup. No, but I have my time. Danny stop. Danny. Yeah, that was that. Right.

That really does happen though. And then, you know, you know what the black guy, not necessarily Asian, but like there's always a guy. And the black guy goes, yo, you're missing one. Right. And then he, he separates a little space. And this little Asian guy pops through with his little, little purple penis, right. Perfect.

And she kind of looks at it like, it looks like gum. It's like in kindergarten. Is that gum? Right. And then she starts blowing him. And for some reason in his face, the expression, like it's almost as if he won the lottery. Like his face changes. And that's when he blew in my mouth.

Yeah. Because he was so happy for him. I don't know what it was. It was the struggle. Is it the feeling? Is it? Is it because he was finally accepted? Yeah.

It was also a Lord of the Rings kind of the thing where he had the ring. Okay. He went through all the minds of Moria. You know what I mean? Yeah. He went through all the Dead Sea or the swamp. Yeah. And he finally got to the thing.

You know what I mean? That's what I felt like. A voyage. And when he gets there, you know what I mean? I go, yeah. And then Kalali goes, what the fuck? Yeah. I look back.

Because I like to know what he's coming to or what triggered him. Yeah. But then when I look back, it's just like the, you know, sweaty Asian guy just finally getting, you know, a few seconds in. Yeah. But so after I saw your, I masturbated to one scene, this black with Asian change. And then, and then when I saw you at DVDSA and I go, oh, I saw. And then I thought, oh, no.

What have I done? What have I done? And I, because it's like now I fucked a sister or something. I masturbated to a sister. Oh. So then I went back into my pornography collection. I still there. The archive.

But I, because you're always in the cover of them. Yeah. If there's any age in anything, you're the front cover. You're on the DVD disc. Yeah. You're the star. On every site, on the red tube, on everything. Yeah.

But not check taxiporn. Because she's not checked. That's the only thing he likes. Gilbert likes check taxiporn or he claims. And girls do porn.com. What's up with this taxiporn thing? Like it's a huge genre now, right? Or is it just one site?

I only use one taxi service porn. Check taxiporn.com. Really? Yeah. You know what I don't like about outside porn? It has to be, it's got to be inside with good lighting. Because outside. He only does HD.

You don't like amateur? That's it. He wants to see every single porn. Oh, so, so you exist. I've always wondered, like, why is porn in HD? Like, I imagine, like, why wouldn't you want to see that? I watch Mission Impossible in HD. Yeah, but that's different.

No, it's not different. It is different. I want to see everything in crisp, clear reality. But like, you don't really want to see all our zits. You know what? When we have sex. Our ingrown hairs. He wants lights on, full lights on.

And I always turn the lights off. And he, we have to find a happy, like, compromise. Yeah, I'll turn one off. No, I'll turn it off. What about this one? You know what I mean? It's like a compromising thing. The guys are visual.

I know. But like, every single, like, I mean, I have, you know, few nips, straight nipple hairs. Right, exactly. I have stretch marks. I love them. Do you want to see all of that? Yeah, I want to count them.

I want to count them. Yeah, I visualize it. Well, actually, that's kind of comforting to know that there's people out there who are into that. What do you mean, here's also, you know, when I was a kid, or when you know how back in the nineties, when you'd watch porn, like on hotel rooms, and they were always so fuzzy. Something they would edit it, right?

And I think you were just so conditioned to see this bullshit, you know what I mean? That they would, you know, pass off as porn. And then once HD came, right? Blu-ray. You know what I mean? I'm like, that's it. And you can see everything and it's a reality.

And I like it when a girl's a little scared. You know what I mean? I do. He likes seeing the fear in her eyes. He likes, which only you get in HD. Only in 1080. This one sight that he's really into, that I catch him on time and time again.

No, no, no, no. Here it goes again. No, before you say it. Speaking of view at seventeen, he's really into it. No, no, no, no, no. I can, don't say it. Is it we are eighteen? No, no, it's not, it's none of that.

I don't want to talk about my porn. It's not called anything. It's called older for youngers. No, it's Old man with like really young girls. I think that's a really popular Genre it's not that but what do you guys think of statutory rape altogether? Do you think Americans have it wrong? Do you think it should be 18 or at least 16? No, I believe that it's wrong. How old is it? I think it's I'm pretty sure it's 18, but I don't know with like most states in Ohio You know what? I think I think there should be like some kind of a test like for example Like I was fucking at 15 and I think I was ready for it. Like I don't think that it did any damage

I'm sure there's a million people out there right now who are like, okay, you're in porn But like I really do think that Whether I fucked those guys at 15 or not. I'd be like the same Right now. Yeah, and like I like I think I was ready, but I definitely Definitely think there are 15 year olds who are not ready. I wasn't ready at 15 No, I remember being very I remember being extremely horny But by the time I actually had sex for the first time at 15 I didn't have sex again until I was 16 and a half because for that year and a half I was traumatized

You were like freaked out I don't think it was I was freaked out by the experience because I was still I was still sexual in other ways like with myself Like I would masturbate. Yeah, I was freaked out with him with a guy that I lost my virginity. What was it that freaked you out? I think he became really I remember breaking up with him and him trying to like kill himself like he was really obsessive And I thought was that the price that I had that I paid for giving up my virginity or having sex Is that happen like do I does this does it cost? You know some type of like internal turmoil like right like an association

Yeah, he he he ended up in some like psych ward after that. Oh my god. Oh my god Your baby your pussy makes people crazy Doesn't make your pussy crazy. I mean, I'm sorry Stop stop retraction. But you were already Oh, man, they're gonna get into you think that I have a pussy. Oh god I want to tell asa what's been going on with us. So she can give us her fair. Tell me everything. I'm I already love it So he has this god-awful fungal infection in his foot That's been there for about three years. Let me see it. Let me see it. No

I know Wait, hold on a second ago. You were sitting with your feet like a bit And now all of a sudden you're Now the right foot's fine. Yeah, that's that one's fine. Okay, let me this one It's so tough. I don't die right now. I don't showcase this one So lately in the last six months Um, every time that we've ever had sex, I've just it's just been really really itchy for me like afterwards Okay, like discharge almost like a yeast infection. Okay, but not a yeast infection

The doctor's like, no, it's not a yeast infection because you they can look at it under the microscope immediately while you're there Okay, and the guy was like, no, it's not candida, which is you know, yeah, it's America So now I'm thinking I look at him when he just you know, I just observe him as he's you know Sitting on the couch or playing on his and he's always scratching his feet. Okay, especially with His right hand Right, so every time we have sex and he actually touches me with his right hand or touches me with any hand at all That happens, but if we only have just straight on pussy and dick. Yeah, I don't get like no touching Right, no hand sex, but he is in denial. He doesn't think that he's giving me some type of a hundred percent

It's you bobby and I'm not even just saying that To take a lila side like let me tell you something so I just went to this holistic doctor And she tested me it's called muscle testing It sounds like total hocus pocus and I wouldn't even believe in it if it didn't happen to me But I had an infection on my nipple that lasted for seven months Oh my god, and I went through three rounds of antibiotics. I got an ultrasound like I went to three different doctors and they

Didn't know what it was. They were like, we don't know why it's happening. Sometimes these things happen. Ha ha And I finally I went to this holistic doctor for something else And she was like, oh, is there anything else wrong with you? And I was like, actually my nipple Um has been infected for seven months. What did it look like? It looked like a white head on my nipple Just one and I would pop it and it would go away for a day and then come back And it was like it never grew. It wasn't it was just always this white head It looked disgusting, but it was small enough that it didn't show on camera What if your twin sister like

But like so this holistic doctor she's like, all right, we're gonna do some muscle testing So she had me read out loud this list of all these different bacterias while she clicked my feet together And like I I was just like the whole time I was like, this is bullshit. Like I can't believe I'm doing this This is retarded And then finally like I read one Bacteria name which sounded like something out of like harry potter. What is it? It was like no, I don't even it's like You would probably know it honestly But I had no idea what I was saying and she was like, that's it. That's the one Hogwarts. Let's just say

It was Hogwarts Hogwarts. I was like Hogwarts and she was like, that's it. That's the one your body is telling me That's the one and then she put all these I know I know I don't even believe it either But it happens to me and then she put all these magnets on me and left me like that for 20 minutes And then I'm not even fucking kidding you the next morning It was gone and it never came back. Do you think it was coincidence or do you really think it was her? I think it was her and it was And it wasn't I think it was her and it wasn't the power of positive thinking because I was thinking very negatively Like so I have to go to her for my foot. Yeah, I'm gonna give you guys her info. No, she's in the pacific

But I feel like this is a I'm not putting magnets on me for my fucking foot. You know what it is? It's got I have foot fun guy Yeah, I already know what it is. So then stop touching it and touching your girlfriend's pussy. That's disgusting. I don't touch it I just take my dick and I go like that and I'm done with the sound with the sound as well But also another issue that we've been having is that Oh, shit. This is an issue episode. No, we've but we've talked about everything Yeah, so um, I there's something he he says that he's going through some type of like porn erectile dysfunction again That he's watching too much porn or whatnot

Well, also you're getting older There we go I'm almost 50 babe. Are you really? He's 44. I'm 44. You have a long way of six years I know but still it's right around the corner and then I'm 60 and I'm dead You know no one dies the average age these days is 80. You know the way I live I wake up and eat rice crispy treats for breakfast. So go ahead No, I was just you know, I'm not going to continue then because I feel bad now

She's like, oh my god. No, I will tell you I will tell you okay. I feel bad that um I haven't been as sexually active recent as of recent. Okay And um, it has a lot it's tied in with two things. Okay. Okay I can't believe I'm sharing this. I'm fucking. Oh by the way. I just want to say side note the holistic doctor She specializes in that in what I wrecked ed. Yeah. Wow in koreans. All right. Give me the number She heals it with a Asian. Give me those magnets. She's actually she's um, I want I want to say ukrainian Yuck, like same thing kind of no. No, I'm a believer I'm a believer. I mean, how could you not believe it? How could I know it happened to me?

Yeah, but it's yeah, no, but maybe it's your own mind that fucking did that you dumb dumb No, it's not though because I I was like thinking this is bullshit the whole time Like I I'm telling you it's not placebo effect because I didn't think it was gonna work But it was like an afterthought. I went for something else. What is it? Because I mean if it is in fact a bacteria, I'm trying to figure out how magnets can so I I think it does something where it like changes the energy flow. I don't know. It's definitely like some weird shit It's not I don't think it's like it's the same shit where like your fucking girlfriend Jessica brings over rocks and you put on the side of the bed and crystals and shit. No, but same bullshit

No, but they do carry a certain type of like energy. It's an energy. Yeah, it's energy guys. It's all energy Chris angel. Yeah, there's no such thing as karma and there's no such thing as energy. No, believe me I don't believe in karma either either. Do I but this I'm telling you this why do you not believe in karma? Because I just don't think that's the way the world works bingo I think whatever she said, no, no, I'll tell you why because if there was karma, right? Then let me tell you this right now. Then George Bush, right? Yeah He created, you know, he he lied to the american public to go into a illegal war, right? Which he's de-franchised that the region which created later isis, you know, I mean and a lot of people died innocent people

You know, I mean a lot of american soldiers died and he's golfing right now. Where's his karma? You know, I mean, no, there are definitely a lot of shitty people that live great lives of anything Most of the people who have great lives that are obvious to me. I Probably are shitty. Yeah, you know, it's like that movie. It's a Woody Allen movie called on crimes and misdemeanors You guys see it It's about Woody Allen's character and Martin Lando's character. Martin Lando's character is a He's like a doctor like a head doctor at a at a at a hospital and Woody Allen is like this meek producer, right?

but anyway at the end of the movie Martin Lando kills his mistress because he was she was gonna rat on his wife, whatever and Woody Allen gets dumped by this girl, right and Woody Allen's life is just In turmoil. He's devastated. Martin Lando's character is fine because he was protecting his legacy was protecting his wife It's all about perception

How you perceive the events So Martin Lando's fine because he perceives it in his head that it's all right that I killed this person because I was protecting my family And Woody Allen, he got dumped and walked all over by a girl He he perceives it as him being a loser and weak, you know, whatever, right? But it's it's about how you look at it. So George Bush Probably looks at all the things that he did while he was in office as a good thing I saved lives. I had to do it, you know, I mean for my older company friends or whatever it might be, you know, I mean But it's like, um, yeah, it's all about perception

So you're saying like if we do shitty things, we should just keep a positive mind about it As long as we we trick ourselves into believing that the shitty things we do are in fact good in some way Yeah, got it. So we always have to not be honest with ourselves no matter how harmful we are to the rest of the world As long as we think we're doing good. We're okay. That's what I don't think I can do that I can't do it. I mean I We're sociopathic slightly I do things that are like, um, just so innocent, you know, I mean and I feel so guilty about it

And I'm like that Woody Allen character You know, I mean if I lie to somebody and they're mad at me, I'm like, oh, you know, I mean, you know, I'm just so like I'm so like vulnerable to criticism You know what I noticed about you his vulnerability is funny. He does get affected easily But it's in and out of the system immediately Whereas for me, for instance, if if he gets into, you know, some drama with some comic or whatever and it'll ruin His day for maybe it'll only ruin four hours of his day Yeah, whereas if something like that were to happen to me, I would sit on that for weeks I think and I would actually

You know, like really really reflect on it So you have these everything affects you but for very very short bursts of time and intense. Mm-hmm. I put it out Maybe you have borderline personality Maybe you know, I thought that really Yeah, I thought that because magnets and bullshit what you talking about Whoa, you know The biggest sign of borderline personality is like you love them and then you hate them the exact same minute, right? And we were at his supposed favorite barber shop. We went to

He's wearing a beanie for a reason asa. Oh my god. He got a bowl cut today Well, it looks like always It looks like earlier. Can I show the picture? I'll show the picture. Yeah, show the picture So today we went to This is what happened. This is what happened earlier So we go to his barber shop that he's been go. He he that he insists on going to even I don't think that they have the best bar It looks like Justin Bieber, but like when he was first discovered like bollier What are you laughing at you fucking

And so he goes in with it He goes into the barber shop with a good attitude. He's happy. He's skipping. Yeah, you know and and then he gets Yeah, he has a smoothie in his hand that he wants to throw away She can't stop laughing yet It looks like a wig Okay, sorry. So he walks in and and the lady's like oh he he has a smoothie in his hand. He wants to throw it away So he throws a trashcan. That's not a really a trashcan, but it's a trashcan He throws it away and then he gets yelled at by some. What was it an umbrella stand?

No, it was one of those it was for hair. It was just for hair because I'm in a barbershop That's that's what in there, right? And she yells at me from across the counter Wait, what is she? Is she asian? No, she's a fat Armenian she wasn't she wasn't even um, um a hairdresser or a barber. She was just Okay, like up front and then as soon as she yelled at me. He's like, we gotta get out of here I hate I hate everything about today. I gotta get out of here I hate completely crumbles right then and there and because she made me look like a fool

Barbers and everyone looks at me He picked up. He puts his hand back into the hair trashcan. He picks up his smoothie another piece of trash and some hair Now it's like stuck all over it. I threw away trash that I didn't throw in there Yeah, and I'm like panicking. I'm like, I don't know where to go. I have hair stuck all over my hands Oh, so you guys left? No, I got this fucking Wait, so what happened? Why? Why didn't you I had to intervene because so what did you do? He's such a fucking

Spinalist bastard. He was getting the haircut and I was seeing this lady just basically butcher my hair butcher his fucking hair And why I could see that happening but not saying anything. You know, I have this, you know, just this grimace on my face He's like, but what did you not tell her what you wanted? I know I know I he said kpop I first know I go I go look up animal practice because I was on a show called animal practice screaming at me google me. Oh, you know Yeah, google me. It's the most Google me, babe. Google me. That looks kind of cape. I could see that being kpop, but like a 14 year old All right, awesome

And so do you want me to send you that picture? Yes. Okay. Yes He he goes he's not saying anything to this girl who's butchering his hair Like you could just see it in his eyebrows and he's he's pissed. He's sweating. Yeah looking at me like this You know like looking for this. Yeah He's not telling her So finally I step in and I say hey sweetie. Is that what you wanted because that's a bowl cut And then I said it out loud because I had to intervene at that point. Yeah, and then she was like, oh, that's no i'm not done She goes, I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. Okay. She was new you could tell she was trembling

Maybe she was a fan No, she was definitely not a fan Maybe she was the opposite of a fan. Maybe she hates you So anyway, I'm gonna give this mother fucker a bowl cut. Yeah, so I my mood can turn if I'm publicly ashamed Right my mood can turn like what happened in Nashville Oh, that's right. I was in Nashville eating at a barbecue barbecue restaurant Okay, and I have jeans and a little bit of my ass crack showing. Okay. Just a little bit. Okay, you know what I mean?

It's not like my butthole is hanging out right and I'm sitting there eating on this high stool on this big table And I'm eating my little barbecue. I'm in Nashville And this man puts his armor on me. He has a black jacket on He's probably 52 53 years old and he's with his kids and his wife white guy. Yeah Um southern guy and he puts his hand around me and he goes son pull your pants up What you know what I did? I'm sorry Like a pussy. Oh, I'm sorry. Why?

I'll do whatever you say That's so weird. I would imagine in Nashville everybody's ass crack is hanging out As I pulled it up and he left I literally went into like fucking pussy You fucking like a self-hatred. Yeah self. I hate your thing because what I should have said is No

This is fucking America, bitch Those aren't my kids. You have eyes. Look away. My butthole is gonna hang out. I don't think that's the answer either Hey, man, I see the kids my buttholes Deal with it. What's the quit? What's the answer? I don't know because you know in all honesty I would have been I would have reacted the same way as you like Oh, I'm sorry and I would have yeah, but why I hate confrontation. Yeah, but why are we sorry? Why do we say that? I think you just want to avoid rectify the situation as quickly as possible. Yeah And the fastest way is by saying sorry and doing it

But I think like I would imagine like if I were watching a movie. I would want the main character to be like I will pull up my pants But you don't have to talk to me like that. I can never think that's what movie is this I was thinking what movie is that awesome. Oh, who are the writers? They're not in the writer's building. They go see my And after this go see my holistic doctor. Yeah Okay, cool. I'll always just say I feel like you would have the right answer. I you know what?

I don't think that quickly on my feet in situations like that, especially in public In retrospect, in retrospect, you would give death eyes. Come on. Like ideally. What would like the perfect person say? I I I would probably try and reason with him I would probably all right. I'm gonna say something. I'm the guy. Okay. Excuse me miss Pull your pants up, please For what? With your buttholes hanging out my kids are looking at it. Take your kids out

See, that's exactly that's cool. Take your kids out of my eyes. Take out of eye shot. That's what I fucking just said And I'm like what I said it. It's wrong. No, no, no, no So what do you say to me? I said I'm like, yes Yeah, why would you so what is your response? No, you know what? That's not what I would say Honestly, my my true reaction would be like bobby's. I always apologize. Yeah before I even think because we're ethnic And we let white people tell us what to do. But I I don't think it's a I don't think it's a race thing I think it's any like if an asian person said that to me I would probably even be more apologetic because of the whole respect thing. No, I would find an asian person

Yeah, but they wouldn't say anything. Yeah, you know, you're right because if it was an Asian person that you'd fight them Okay, dad fan comes up to you. Hey, Bobby. Your butthole's showing How are your tv shows and movies that you're doing right now? I'm so famous right now Honestly, who's that? Um, no, I it's it's I I feel like Asians wouldn't say it because I've been in Korean restaurants looking like a hobo Yeah, you know why Asians wouldn't say it because you shouldn't fucking say anything I know that's what I'm saying only white people have this thing when they see an ethnic person

And I'm going to go tell this young man what to do with his life I definitely don't like the way he said it. I think it was like really condescending. Did he clutch you? That's why my perfect person would say you don't need to talk to me like that Okay, that's it. You're right. You're right. You're right. That right there is the best answer. Thanks. All right, bring that script to cAA We're gonna get this movie Yeah But that's the the more offensive part is that he said son. Yeah, oh, that's yeah I don't like it when people call me honey. Sweet. No through the drive through. I want to spit in their face

I totally don't call me that old black woman saying it to you. Yes Because I know that they're saying it in an endearing way in a daughterly like mother daughter way But if it's someone who's only like maybe 10 years older than me or is my age and they call me honey or sweetie or darling I I hate it. Yeah, I will not tip them Hate it. You know what I hate guy Guy who when they call me guy. Why? Oh, you know what I hate. No, I don't like guys what he calls people like a servers of people like who Calls him because that Bobby calls. Yeah, the worst thing and it drives me crazy

I remember him calling the the the waitress on our first date. He said this. Oh, thanks pal pal is the worst. Yeah, I like Jimmy Fallon does it. No, that is so not genuine. No pal is like No, I don't even know the word like that face tells it all Yeah, I don't know pal is not good to me. Pal is what Han Solo has Chewbacca a pal And that's what pal means. Yeah, that's because they've actually known each other for a long time You're almost pal to you is is something it's a throwaway word. When was the last time you called an actual pal pal

I've never called a pal pal. Exactly. But do you know why you know why do you know why us asa? Do you know why I don't have any fucking pals Okay All right What is happening? But It's gross. All right. So pal's anything like that is no good. I don't like pal. I don't honey, sweetie And there's another thing that he does often. It's like if he always uses I love you

When he's Upset about something I do like it's it's always like yeah, I love it. It's great. It's the best way to do it It's a good diffuser when you want me to stop doing something for instance Um, if I'm talking if I'm talking and if I'm going on and like a tangent or whatever No, she's accusing me of something right? No, no, no My version of the story is like the affair the affair. Go ahead. Go ahead. So if I'm talking or I'm talking Sweetie, I love you. I love you. This is way of shutting me up It's it's not even shut up. It's I love you, but I know that it means shut up

And I it it drives. No, I'm gonna give her now my version of what it is. Okay. It's like I have an audition in the morning, right? And I'm playing video games. I should be sleeping But I have to pass this level and she I'm just giving I have to pass it by the time I And then she says, you know, I really think you should it's sweet. I love you, but you know, but it's I love you I love you, but it's your serenity now. Yeah Yeah, it's me by saying go get the fuck go get the fuck out of here. So you agree. Yeah, I never denied it You're a bastard. He's like it's his garbage word. It's his throwaway. So when he says I love you, it has like no

Yeah, you make it an ugly thing when it should be a beautiful thing I team up with why are you always on her side? Because you and Gilbert thank god you're here because these two Are always always always ganging up on you not getting you actually Bobby not gang up on him But he never sides with me. He's he always thinks bobby is boss, which he is I guess so he always He has to actually he has to side with bobby or else he gets um a foot and well, I side with the truth Whoa But on this show we like to win we like to win we like to win So let's talk about just real quickly. Um making a murder since ossa, you know, and we're all you know, we just gotta

We gotta talk about it Let's talk about making a murder. All right. So, um, sorry Eric Just have you guys been talking about a nonstop? No, because what we were gonna do is we were gonna have a special episode with just Eric Griffin bobby and I and it's only making a murderer But then Eric's been busy so we haven't been able to do that now that we think about it We should probably have ossa on it too if you know, we're doing it now But I we're not gonna cover the whole No, let's do a brief a brief a brief thing. Okay. Let's brush over it a brush over. Okay

All right, so here's my belief. I do an intro for this. That's the segment. No, it's not a segment It's not a segment dude. Okay together, man. I'm so sorry. I love you. You're handsome What was that dialogue? That's a movie script. Yeah quick Aaron sorkin you don't have to talk to me like that The thing is this is that um, I don't know should we even talk about it? It's like, you know what I mean? You know what honestly, it's been so long since I watched it. I don't even remember I don't really care that much anymore their names anymore. Yeah, except Steven Avery. Steven Avery. Um, I love that. Um, the thing I'm like super fascinated by is like how everyone Like is saying how fuckable the the main lawyer is Steven Avery's lawyer

Jerry buting or oh, no, no, no, or you mean it looks like Yeah, that's your guy, right? Clila. He's my guy. Yeah I mean, he's like the only good guy on the show Can I just say this you would never even if he was single and you were single Fuck Dean strength. I'm very attracted to talent and power over anything else. That guy looks like he has mold on his testicles sweetie, you have mold You just revealed something about the Meisner technique. He has mold on his balls. Oh, shit. I have mold on my body I have like scars and stuff

You know what I mean? Yeah, I would absolutely why don't why don't you think that she would fuck him you wouldn't fuck him either Yes, I Because he is let me just okay if he wasn't you know, I mean he was just a regular lawyer You didn't see him on you know, I mean making murder for sure. You didn't oh, absolutely not. I mean, what's the point? Now Imagine this you're single. He just got a divorce, right? And he's you know, you see him at a coffee shop Okay, but if he if I if he spoke to me the way Dean Strang spoke to the judge and the jury Yeah, and I could sense his intelligence. I I would absolutely I fucked way worse. You don't even know who I fucked

I fucked I fucked a guy who couldn't who had who stuttered on on L so badly. He couldn't say my name And he was young and he could even get through my whole name So I just you know, and he was much younger and he was really short and he had nothing going for him Like he the most he had going from is that he had two cute dogs. He wasn't educated. He didn't have a good job And I fucked him for months. Yeah, but imagine Dean Strang. He's I fucked losers. I don't care See so she would all right and I would do well Here's the thing like I I think that he's so attractive because everyone else on that show is kind of like Like literally retarded. Yeah

Yeah, like half of them are literally retarded and the other half are like fact by awesome So I think that makes him even more attractive. Also. He's like the only voice of reason when everyone else is just like like you can't even believe them um But that's but yeah, like obviously I only want to fuck him because of Everything I've seen on and you could say I fucked Dean Strang. Yeah, exactly. It's all those things It's tv I made um on instagram. I made a picture of him and jerry buting with like hearts and stuff

And it was on L online and if buzzfeed. Whoa, that's really cool I was really proud of my artwork and someone took her shit, right? Well, no, they posted a repost of another girl They didn't even put my my original picture. Just shoot him But was it like was the article about how people are like obsessed with him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but then yeah, they didn't He's a good dude. I you know, his new lawyer, Kathleen Zellner, you know, he has a new lawyer Is she the innocence project? No, the the his second lawyer is innocence project woman But his main Attorney now is a woman named katham kathleen zellner and she's like a beast

Like she's one of the best lawyers in the she's gotten 13 13 people acquitted. You know, I mean out of prison Yeah, we're being wrongfully accused and um, oh, hey, you guys are serial fans, right? Yeah. Yeah. Did you know that there's new serials? Yeah, the update from the hearing I had it started. Oh, yes That's why I drove here. Yes. I was laying on my sofa and I was like, let me look in my podcast And I saw that serial had those three new things and I was like, fuck it. I'm driving Well, I had read an article that the girl. Um, what's her name? Um, sarah kening not sarah kening the girl Asia, yeah, that she actually

There he's gonna get a new trial. Yeah, because of that. Oh, I don't know. I don't know I I'm not I only listen to the first one the article I read said that He because of she was the missing link like she was the missing alibi And because he had such, you know, his attorneys weren't efficient. I guess that alibi could have, you know Had a totally different outcome. Who killed the lesion girl I mean, they have all these theories about how there was another serial killer in that area. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Remember. Yeah, it sounds weird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I have to listen to that again I have to like re-listen to it. Have you started the second season with bo burgdoll? Yeah, I'm not that into it

Yeah, I can't I'm trying. It's there's something about him. Like he's not like he's not likeable to me And that was the most important part about serial one. Was that a non with likable? So like yeah But Adnan also you would root for him until you realize. Wow. This guy is really is a really good talker Yeah, yeah, he would you fuck him too? I would fuck up. I would fuck him up. Oh my god. I think he's attracted I think so too Oh, maybe from from the first time he'll kill you from the first time I heard Straight up just kill her. Yeah No, I I like him. He's funny. Yeah

Oh my god, you guys are just um, I keep telling bobby that if I was single I'd be one of those that Would go into would would write letters to prisoners. I think So I tried Well, okay, so I I signed up. Okay Half as a joke half Not as a joke. I signed up for this site called find an inmate calm And this was like a year ago and I was like, oh, it might be kind of cool to have like a pen pal, you know and um

But like first of all don't ever go to that site because those people aren't even inmates like the ones on there Are not even inmates and now they keep emailing me and they're not even inmates. They're just like regular guys That's creepy. Which is like I have I have no use for that. Did you use your true identity? um, I I know I use like a totally like Like I use like a third identity. Yeah Yeah, I mean, I think that I I would still be curious. I do it now. You know what it's fucking bullshit, lady I think you and I should know shut the fuck up for a second. You two shut the fuck up for a second. Okay

Who was a boston bomber the kid? Unibomber no the boston bomber the kid that's uh sarnev sarnaev sarnaev, right? How he has the boston marathon how he has like women, you know, I mean they're That want to marry him and they want to fuck him and ted bundy had that he had a slew of men But ted bundy was like supposed to be a really charming dude. Yeah, he killed and And human well, obviously. Yeah, you know who is supposed to be the most popular. Um, That hispanic one, um return murmur. Yes. Yeah, he was supposed to be like Yeah, I was a huge fan of jeffrey dommer, but I was the only one outside protesting. I mean, he liked asians too

Jeffrey dommer his first one was a tie boy But my point is is that these women They they like danger Right, I think it's more of just it's it's a gimmick No, but why no, but why is that? Yeah, it's the novelty of it because you say anon the guy from uh cereal. Oh, he's hot. I'd fuck up He could have murdered somebody. Oh, I don't think he did though 100% no not a hundred percent exactly. So there's a little bit of thing that he might stab me in the throat

That's not what I'm attracted to what are you attracted to he's charming I you know what these fucking they're they're a christian man out there that have regular jobs or decent people that never get laid at all I would never fuck a christian. I mean, you see that's what I'm saying. There's twisted things going on here Look at this guy's been laid in three years. Huh, gilbert. Yeah No, when's the lesson we got laid? Oh Oh god, my mom's listening to this In chicago That bothers you

Of all the things we've said, I'm okay with that. I don't I I don't talk What do you think so my mom doesn't call me after this? We've been calling you the f word for like 28 episodes, but she's like, oh, that is true. It's just very true All right, when's the lesson we got laid? Uh, chicago during christmas. Who was it? Uh, four separate partners Whoa Are you lying to me when you do improv and you're very good at it in chicago only are you good at improv very good? Wow Oh

He's very talented. Women are really attracted to men on stages. Yes. It doesn't even matter if they're open. It doesn't matter It doesn't matter anything. I think that matters I think it just matters that you That the audience likes you. Yeah Like if you bomb no, but if the audience likes you Then we are attracted to that. I always wonder that too like because I mean I had obviously seen bobby before Doing stand-up so I knew that he was very funny or I thought he was funny But I always wonder that like what if I dated a comedian who I just didn't think was funny

You couldn't you wouldn't I think that I would like my pussy could never get wet from that I think I mean she doesn't laugh at me now I don't because I'm on stage and I see her from like my peripheral from the distance She does have an angry eyes. Yeah, she leans against the wall and she has angry eyes and you're like It's like an asian mom watching. Yeah Perform I've seen it because I know where you know how you're supposed to say it at what point and what time So then I it's more I'm more of a pageant like you get anxiety. Yeah More of a pageant mind thing, huh? Yeah, I'm a pageant mom. You're like doing the

Yeah, I'm your chris Jenner. I'm your momager. Yeah, I just stay in the room I you know, I was thinking about this too, you know, you we always talk about having you know kids at some point Is it possible for men? Like when a woman turns into a mom all bobby heard was cream pie Yeah I get kids out of cream. Can a can a woman be both a mom and a lover Because it's so hard for men. I think to

Lover as in like sexy. Yeah, like I think so I I always see this because he said the the guy and the the CEO of ashley madison He says he always got the highest like women Men always cheated on their wives when the wives were pregnant or were in their first years of like being a mom Whoa, because apparently it was hard. It's hard to like sexualize them. Wait. Was that on chelsea? Yes, because I remember her talking to the ashley madison guy But um, I read this other thing with him in it and it's I guess apparently It's it's hard for men to sexualize their partner

When they become that like Madonna or I have a friend who will not cook for a guy She says I refuse to cook for him because I don't want to be seen as a nurturer I want to be seen as a sexual. Yeah, like a sex bomb. Yeah, basically Interesting, but you know inevitably people get old and you know when you your your body changes when you have a child So what about milk porn or is it okay if it's someone else's mom milk hunter dot com? What do you mean? Like okay, for example like milk milk. Yeah. Yeah. I know Is like the most No, I'm trying to teach you. Yeah. No, I'm not trying to teach you guys what milk is

I'm just saying this is milk is the most popular category in porn right now And it has been for years So like do you think that's that it's okay if it's like someone else's mom right because it's someone else's wife Right or someone else right it has they're not I mean they're The person jerking off to them is neither their husband or boyfriend or breadwinner. They're they're completely Separate also whenever like milk porn is shot. The script is never like yeah, I'm fucking my wife Who's a milf like it's not like that. Yeah, it's like you're someone else's

I think there's a psychology behind it too is what you think that this is this older lady doesn't get dick as much You know, man, and you're like, yeah, she's getting treated like you know, I mean like she's young You know, I mean like you're doing her Like like she's loving he I mean he made out with a 53 year old In in in the back of a van and like all all the all All her grandkids toys were in the back and like he was into it Then I wasn't into it out because you felt like a star Bobby did a bang bus. I was at a show. It's like being a top athlete in division three school

Dan that's good. I was at a show and um this old lady came up to me and she put her hand out And I shook her hand and she's so wrinkly Her hands are so wrinkly. You like that right? No. Oh, why did you smile? I don't know why? But in her hand, there was a note So I grabbed the note and she goes i'm a big fan. I go bye And then I read the note call me if you want a good time And I just I was I was like Right and then my friend kevin I go this old lady goes you should you have you ever had hooked up with an old lady?

I go no you should try so I called her next day and we were at dinner And she goes yeah, but I did get my breasts done and she pulled her breasts up like that and showed me her titties I have grandkids though. And then I was um, I love that like in a restaurant. Yeah, you know And then in a restaurant and she had this like a van with all these kids toys or whatever Stroller And we just went back there and I made out with her during the day This is okay during the day. Yeah. Yeah, so do you understand? So you you feel like you understand what like the allure is now No, yeah, but I didn't get hard

So that's made out was more of a science thing. Oh, so you weren't turned on it was like no I was like we saw her lip for wrinkly You just added nothing. Yeah, that part is scientific research I don't know who's doing scientific the scientific method. So what did you even get out of it? Like did you get do you become did you learn about did you feel like you were doing like a charity thing? No, I just found it to be yeah, I guess there was an arousal because you know She was like this older white lady on this little And she's like recently divorced recently divorced and so I'm like, you know, there is something about how Stella got her groove back

No, what is it? No, I think what it is it has definitely has to do with an older white lady, right? Who dated this he was a fireman Right, so he was like a fireman white this big early Man white and now she's making out with a fat dumpling in the back of her fucking band White fat, you know, I mean and she's like six foot and I'm like a little and she's just grabbing my fat rolls There's something cool about that like yeah, this is what you get now. Yeah, I really don't get it Like I think I get it even less than when we started this conversation. That made no sense. What's up?

There's a food truck coming out called fat dumplings. Check it out You have a question or are we at now? We're good. Let's do a question. I'm hopeful but can I just say this though? I mean, it's don't start yet. Go ahead. Don't start yet. I um We have to have also on again because we have to We can't even get to the questions yet because we have questions on here that are rapid fire for us We'll do one of these and do rapid fire. Yeah, no, we'll do rapid fire and then that Okay. Yeah, okay. Okay. Okay. What is your thing? Why you stop the whole thing? All I want to say is that what I wanted to say is is that um

Um Time just flew by and um, we had a good I had a really good time. Wait, we're done We're not done. We're doing the rapid fire because we usually have just our episodes We have our episodes. We're not a three hour like yeah some other podcast I mean you guys said like five hours of time. I was like, what is that? Yeah, you hated Bobby I think it would leave you'd be like taking cigarette smokes. He's the leaves like in the 55 this marker Bobby is gone by this time Yeah, what are we at? What's the time 110? Yeah, you should have gone by the time at 50 seconds at 50 minutes. You would have already asked a question Right, right at 50 minutes. But also we don't want to have guests ever. We want to have friends

I totally understand that. Yeah, it doesn't I mean it doesn't matter how big a guest you have on it's not interesting if there is no Friend banter or that comfortability of just having open conversation. Yeah, it makes it and I can already tell what your show is going to be And I bet you and let's talk in a year and see if I'm right. It's gonna be basically you guys doing relationship counseling And treating your guests like your relationship counselor Can I just say you're 100% correct? And I love it Can I just get a quick assessment? Do you think just on first impression is Gilbert gay? Well, here. Okay. It's impossible for me to have the first impression because I went on Twitter and I

Saw like all these things like is he gay? Is he not? So I already came in thinking like, okay Is he gay? Is he not? But no, I didn't but I did see videos of you on Twitter that seemed pretty gay-ish Oh, yeah, but do you think it's called comedy? I don't know But do you think that it wasn't deep-thrilling a guy being girly is gay? Yeah, because I think that's what he is. I think he's a girly not gay. Hey, whoa, I'd rather take whoa. No, you're super girly So far I haven't around you To appease you Gilbert. I've never seen you not girly True. Yeah, you're very very flamboyant. The way you walk is very girly. Well, that's just called swag

Oh, well, I don't know. I don't think I've gotten a girly impression from you or a gay impression These are bullies by the way, not only that he was like 300 pounds and now he used to be a fat guy Oh, you're such a catch That's the perfect way George. Can you zoom up on Austin's face? Who just says I'm such a catch because her eyes looked at me and she's like I might leave my husband Or I have a video. I might leave the husband Okay, I have a video. I have a video I have to show you and I want you to see just based on the video But this is the perfect man who's who like used to be obese and then now is a slender

They'll never cheat on me I think they just because they developed the personality and character like while they were fat Like she knows I was friend zone all the time. Okay. I want to show you this or I went on my way He did a commercial right where he's fat and he dances. Okay, as soon as I saw this right Is that the only reason you brought your ipad? Yeah, yeah, I have to show you this. Okay, because I saw you bringing it in and like looking all of That's you How'd you lose the weight? Oh my god, you seem super gay

She's like I'd like to retract my statement. He's such a catch the men dancing is generally gay No, no, no not look at what he's doing Filipino guys. Filipino guys. Do you know a lot of Filipino guys? I mean, I know a good amount of very dancey dudes, but they don't Bruno Marsy That was a character choice for the character Like when bobby dances, I don't feel like it's good. Yeah, but he is gay because he's been with six guys All right, baby, okay Life is weird. Yeah. Yeah. Go to the go to the question. I'm hopeful of us with The only thing I do on the show is the voice is the voice

One question and it's to you. How did you lose the weight? Uh, the key. Oh, well first one motivation. Okay, come on Ketogenic diet high fat moderate protein no carbs. So I would just eat bacon every morning just steak So essentially like south beach. I don't even know what that is. Okay. Atkins, but healthier. Okay. Yeah, that was it Like atkins, but with vegetables. Yeah That's it. Okay. So these are a few questions Um, both from twitter twitter a combination of everybody else's question. Okay, so this is just rapid fire questions So rapid fire means go fast. Yeah. I mean actually not not even

Oh my god, I'm so nervous now rapid fire with suki suki suki No Okay Age that you want to be forever Oh my god, wait like looks wise I mean you gotta answer that it's rapid looks wise Um, like life wise. I think life wise life and looks 27 that's my answer too. Oh really the best. Yeah, why is that? Why? Why? Why? Why?

The way I'm now You want to be 44 forever? No, I live in the present Like I always think like if a vampire were to like bite me and turn me it's already too late like Where were you four years ago? No, I would be a baby then Okay, that'd be the best as a baby. No, you have no memories No, I'm so out of my mind You can't even see past a foot in front of you and you'd have a micropeen. Yeah, I'm sleeping all the time and I'm being coddled

I'd love it. Anyway, let's move on. Okay. What is one Asian stereotype that is 100 true bad drivers bad drivers I think so. Yeah, what do you think you too? I'm not this is for us. So, okay Three people you would want for a dream orgy. It can be anybody. I already have mine dream orgy I Think I'd pick you Kalilah. Yes Um, because I'm I'm I'm very like I'm attracted to hot people obviously

But like I'm so I'm so like I'm so turned on by personalities and like conversations that like Whenever people are like, who's your celebrity crush? I'm like, I don't fucking know because I've never talked to them and yeah, yeah, you know Um, I guess we could throw in like a world leader. I think that would be like Putin Okay, because he's an aggressive, you know, Russian type. He will probably take us hunting afterwards You know and a third person a third person shit. Um No, not a politician think like c-list celebrity think like c-list celebrity or think like sound engineers So What's yours three Dana Scully and data from the new next generation next

What about oh? It's gonna be a girl and a guy, right? So I'm gonna pick uh data from three people, sweetie. Oh shit Next generation data. Um Dana scully and then um, alf Oh, but you know what I what my first thought was Like okay, because sometimes like I'll be fucking on a carpet in a scene and like the little furry pieces keep getting to my Mouth and it's really annoying and I feel like that would happen a lot with alf. Well, then forget alf Um, I'm trying to think another TV character human try humans. No, let him do this. It is my wonder Uh, Anakin Skywalker young young or the one he was a kid. He's back. That's my favorite kid

Me call ago like the young one, right? Bobby hates him. Have you always loved an interview? No, I've literally only seen him in that but my favorite child character of all our actor of all time He's the little little one from kindergarten cop. Oh, yeah I think he's like mica something. I was just joking. Yeah. No, okay. Well, I'm not even talking about threesomes anymore I don't condone the pedophilia or none of that. Okay. I believe in adult sex and I believe in freedom I grew up in the Philippines. That shit doesn't fly. There's no such thing as statutory rape. All right. Let's move on. I'm sweating Go ahead. This room is so hot by the way

I think we should throw in a chick with a dick. I think that would be fun. Yeah, I think so I think that girl Eva Lynn was really really hot. She cut it off though. Oh, she did I mean good for her because she's happy but yeah, yeah, Eva Lynn is um, um Uh, you used to be a chick with a dick, but very very pretty girl and beautiful Filipino next question. Absolutely It's actually too serious. Yeah, this one's too serious absolute lowest moment in your life. Oh god lowest moment in my life Passing out flyers for laugh Um, you know what I interned in high school at this fashion magazine called v

It's a company called vision air and like that was a really degrading experience like Like people really treated me like shit So that was a pretty low. You were a kid though. Yeah, I was a kid But like I just I just remember like being so turned off from like These this industry. Yeah. Yeah those people those people Okay, next. Um sex with Okay, then I'll explain to you. You don't remember the names of making a murder sex with Len kachinsky or ken kratz

Len kachinsky was brennan dassey's first lawyer Ugh Okay, and ken kratz is the prosecutor Is the lawyer of the hallbacks family the fat one the fat one with the glasses who turned out to be a the d.a. Yeah Oh, fuck gotta pick one Hashtag fat dumpling wait, wait, wait, wait, and the brennan brennan's was the smiley guy Yeah, the one with the looks like a ventriloquist or something. Yeah, exactly like that. Okay I guess

Um, I guess the fat one Oh, I would have picked Len kachinsky But he'd be like smiling the whole time Yeah, yeah, okay How did you pick bobby? Um Probably the uh the the fat one. Wow. Yeah the fat one Also, the fat one's probably better at fucking because obviously yeah, yeah a sexual deviant. He has a sexual. I just don't like gaps In my teeth. I have gaps in my no, but not the that the kind of gaps he has

I have a Madonna. That's that's the deal breaker for you I don't like the gaps that's Otherwise, he's perfect. Okay. Should people with an IQ lower than 70 be allowed to procreate? Quickly. Yes or no, um Oh god, awesome. You're the worst I mean, I have a lot of thoughts about that. Just say yes or no. No, okay me. I agree with you Sterilize them all sterilize all violent criminals. Okay. I don't I wouldn't go that far Should violent criminals be allowed to procreate even with high IQs?

Like what kind of violent like think Ted Bundy reformed ones? procreate I think most people shouldn't procreate that's the thing like and I feel like there should even almost be like Like you should have a certain amount of money in the bank Yeah, yeah, like I think there's a lot of things A very small group of people that should be procreating right now because we're overpopulated etc etc Right, like I think I think china kind of Was onto something with the one kid per family thing like I yeah, but I'm a horrible person and I know that so yeah

I think that their sterilization actually exists in a lot of different countries, but in america it doesn't I mean, I don't agree with that though. Like I don't agree with sterilization. I think that's like really um, I Think that's like totally fucked up like when the government like secretly sterilizes a group of people I think 60% of all my family members in the philippines should be sterilized Like I you're not loyal at all. So you're like and I did I told you this about how my cousin who molested me and who molested I was probably raped like you said I probably he probably penetrated and I didn't know right because I didn't you know I wasn't awake most of the time and he's a pastor now right and he also has a child

And but he's known to you know They're guys they're children. Yeah, so it's like I think he should have been sterilized a long time ago Okay, next question. Rich final two. Okay rich guy with a micro penis Or a 45,000 a year guy 45k a year with a perfect penis both have great personalities Rich guy small penis great, uh, poor guy huge penis. It's it's that's not even a question. It is. Can I still do porn? No, I'm a career woman. So don't need a man. No, I mean no because if I could still do porn I'd pick the rich guy a micro penis because I can just fuck other people. It'd be rich guy with every woman. Yep First of all, like I I mean we've talked about this before Kali level like I think I could honestly

I think I could make it work with a micro penis. Well, you said that the biggest jackpot in this life Life is if you got an older guy who is really rich with a micro penis. If you're a gold digger Oh, yeah, definitely. I think the jackpot for a gold digger is rich dude with micro penis. Yeah, like why? Because you don't have to fuck because gold diggers are like all they want is money But what if he said I'm really into just getting my ass eaten now, then you're fucked as a gold digger And also Neither of these boys think that ass eating should even exist at all. What? Right? Have you ever gotten your ass eaten? I said I'd eat one girl out

He wants to eat my best friend's ass out just because it's your friend. Yeah. Oh, so you don't think man on female I don't believe I don't believe I asshole should be touched. I don't believe this is what I believe All right, beliefs with the body the dark hole All right of suffering. That's what I call it right asshole black hole there. I mean, they're all dark holes I don't call it. I call the dark hole of suffering. Okay, right? That's where the poopy poop comes out. All right. I don't want that in my mouth Okay, okay, and that's it end of story. You can't defend that because you can't defend it. There's poop in that hole Yeah, the girls don't poop on your top. What? But girls don't poo at all. Oh, I've definitely heard callila for eight times I've also I've seen her her poop in real life in a by accident

Better in 4k. Yeah. Yeah. It was gross because I you leave giant Fucking you leave giant turds every other day. Exactly, but I purposely but here's the thing like, okay Like in porn so obviously, you know, I have I'm married and like we have I guess we don't really have any rules our only rule or his only rule for me Is like he doesn't care who I work with or what I do I don't care who I work with or what I do But he says he has asked me not to eat men's assholes anymore ever Why? Because he has this theory that girls have clean buttholes and boys have dirty ones

And that's and it's kind of true Mine is that I saw you do a scene where some guy stuck his fingers in your mouth and started stretching your mouth That's okay. Yeah, but that's not true. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. That's okay. Yeah, but I don't like that because it's like it looked like you're in pain a little bit. Um, yeah, sometimes it hurts a little but like It's also so demeaning like what are you gonna be the joker? But I don't know About that sometimes like sometimes I I guess everything depends on the context like if someone came up to me right now and like fish hooked me I'd be like, uh, excuse me. That's what it's called fish. You don't have to talk to me like that

But see what you're you're I'll do it. Don't talk to me like that You don't talk to me like that. You're being sort of a hypocrite because we get into a role-play situations that are so not okay Like real mom having sex with real son. I think that's hot too sometimes I think that's the end of the podcast. But you know, but you know what? I think it's okay. I think if If you do it while you have a boner, it's kind of like okay, right? Everything flies if you have a boner including eating ass, but he they're not into it. Nope dark hole of suffering I don't know. I don't think it's that simple I don't think so either. I have this. I have this rule where anything goes in the bedroom and I'm I don't say

Let's get biological. Okay. Oh, okay. Let's get science with glila. All right I'm gonna get scientific with you. Let's get science with me And let me just say something. I don't know much about the body, right? What you have the large intestine the small intestine, right the processed food fact, okay? And it turns into poop, right? It comes out of one hole The dark hole of suffering. There it is biological biological, right? There's no like I don't care what guy gay guys say that no, there's a g-spot in the butthole No, there isn't a prostate. No, there isn't. No, there like literally is. Yes. You can actually

Literally, I've had all kind of you guys are as bad as like christians. No I've had rock hard poop. I've had soft poop. I've had diarrhea, right? I've had every kind of thing go through my butthole. Yeah, but it's coming out in one way. Yeah. Yeah. I've stuck things in it Just through experimental, right? Just listen to me, right? There's not been a sweet spot, right? It's pain and suffering. I don't like it. All right, and it hurts black hole of suffering. Well, it hurts at first. Yeah It always hurts. Yeah, there's no g-spot there where you go. Oh, I'm climaxing. Fuck you Men have one they do sweetie. It's your prostate sits there. Yeah Yeah, what? Yes, and your prostate. Yes, it's it's there. How do you guys not know this?

I've been alive. I feel like you're like have your finger blasted your own butthole. Yes, I have and you've been little fingers No wonder why you can't get up Oh, it's good. You got to go deep. You got to go deep. So you need like ET fingers. You need my fingers Or like another person Okay, let me just say this then if I bend over Yeah, okay, and I let you stick your fucking sweaty ET fingers in my butthole, right and you fucking jam. You'll fucking love it No, I'm not listen. I will try it. But if I don't orgasm, I'm gonna fucking fight you How much time do I have to find it? There's no time. Oh, you better find a quick

All right, because my butt will clinch up and you're gonna lose that finger Okay, but hold on but to be fair like are you going to You need to go into it with an open mind like with you can't go into it It's closed off to an orgasm It's not crystal. Yes. It's a bullshit. It's like I have to now in my head believe that it's like this feels good even though I'm suffering Yeah, I mean only hurts so bad. You have to be open to it I I said I said I'll do it. So I'm gonna be open to it. That's me being like think about this

Like we have clits, right? Yeah, and it feels good when you rub our clits Do you know why? But if we don't go into it with an open mind, right? It's not gonna feel good I know but still like if someone rapes or clit. That's like disgusting. That's a weird thing to rape. It's specific Nobody That would be a weird rape. You know what? I don't touch your body. You're right You're right because sometimes when we're giggling in bed and I'm in the mode of laughter Oh, and then he tries to touch me. I can't do it. Yeah. Yeah, I just spit everywhere. Why I can't get into it I'm not my my I have my mind has to be in a certain way in a certain way

Like whatever. I'm just saying though that like the clit and the head of the penis is where This the sexual, you know, and the prostrate the network And also the belly button I can just make shit up I bet your money if I stick my finger finger finger my belly button Wait, wait, wait. I can convince myself that it feels good. Have an open mind though. I'm gonna have my open mind Put your finger in your ear. You know what that feels amazing Okay, well now you're fucking acting crazy. A q-tip in the ear is like just as good as a penis my pussy

Well, then you're a fucking mutant. It feels so good. Oh my god. All right. A lot of earwax build up too. Be careful Where are you going, sir? You know, he leaves No, no, no, no, we're not done. We're still going through. Okay. He has to have a cigarette Unhelpful advice with Bobby Unhelpful advice Unhelpful advice with Kalilah and Oh Wait, was that all the questions? Yeah, but yeah, we have more unhelpful advice. This is where you actually don't give good advice

Okay, or you can try to give good advice. I don't think my advice is ever good. This is from lee Um, I'm going to a wedding next week. Uh, I hate dancing and I know I'm going to be forced to dance What should I do? I know it sounds lame, but I'm nervous about it fyi. I'm 28 and a single white guy probably george kimmel Definitely George don't dance. Definitely just sit your ass down. Yeah Yeah, definitely get really really drunk and just Yeah, sit down and try to just art their dance moves guys shouldn't do at weddings I don't you're like that guy's being stupid as far my turn off is when guys think they can dance and yeah, exactly That's why I'm like sit down. Yeah

Please sit down because if you're a good dancer, great if you're a funny dancer, great Yeah, but if you're just someone who can't dance, yeah Yeah, and if for any reason you get dragged out there to dance just two step your way just just two step, you know side to side Has that been a has that been a deal breaker for men in the past? Yes. Is your husband a good dancer? He he doesn't really dance honestly If they try and they it just they they're not successful. I don't know. There's something about it. Yeah It is a turn off, but also at weddings. Isn't everyone just hammered anyways, so it's not like anyone's gonna remember But I don't drink so like if I go to a wedding. Yeah, she's over judging everything

There's always a few sober judges In the crowd so watch out. Yeah asses watch Next one. Oh, that was it Another one. What about on twitter on twitter about the the girl who couldn't come Oh, wait, where did you get that one? That's a good one on twitter. That one is from email. Okay Uh, I don't you know where that one is Do you want to just say what the question was? Oh, I think she said this girl rodin said that she was I think it was

She said that she gets really horny. She gets really wet, but she has a lot of she cannot come she has trouble actually Orgasming, but I don't know that's very that's a very broad question because I I don't know if that's like during masturbation or during sex or during like yeah, also like I I don't even know that I know how to tell someone How to come like right right so everyone's so I mean isn't it mostly mental It is for women. Yeah, it is I could will myself into an orgasm Like right now. Yeah, or I could fuck for hours and not

Right, right like for me like if I use the vibrator all like I could just never come Really for me, it's the opposite. I'm so lazy because and if it's right there and I'm like why even bother? Just why wait just get it done and then wait a few seconds and then get it done again I don't know. It's something about the vibrator. That's just I don't know, but with my fingers. I'm like, oh really? Yeah I don't know. I think with um with I my best friend had this a friend of mine had issue with not Being able to come but I think it also is Also is um During coitus like she couldn't come like during sex and she just needed more

um Involvement in all the areas like she just couldn't have straight like sex orgasms Like somebody had to be touching her. She had to be just everything had to all come together into in a certain way puzzle for her But also like I found that don't you when you when you you ever do like force kegels like during that's how I come Yeah, me too. Yeah. Yeah, totally. Totally like I clench up Like I clench up my pussy and my thighs. Yeah, and my calves basically like everything

Like pussy down everything's clenched pussy down. Yeah, but I do this thing where I you know girl pussy down all day I I clench multiple times. Yes. So like when it's going in I clench. Yes. Yes. It's a rhythm. It's a rhythm Right, totally and that gets me to finish but I I think that for a woman who can't come and Who I told my friends to give it a try with an actual dildo She was able to practice that and then she could then she eventually learned. Oh, it worked I always wonder because guys always um, they'll mention that they'll be like, why do you squeeze your pussy? Like or like, why are you pushing me out when you come and I'm like, oh, I thought that's like how people come So I don't know. I guess everyone's different. Yeah, I time it out with when she pushes me out

So I'm like, I'm actually pulling out Are you pushing me out? I'm not leaving because you're telling me to go. This is on me All you do is shit, Dixie I'm sorry. He's not good. I should stop this. We know what I'm going to this We're gonna turn a new leaf I feel like we should lead by example and you have gotten a lot of abuse on social media and people attacking you for being girly or gay and I'm going to I'm gonna end it right here. I feel like it's pointless to say this without bobby in the room. Yeah, right

But I you know what you can we're supposed to do that thing though that video where because I've never been with an Asian girl Ever really? Uh, yeah, that's so weird. They're gonna pick girls from Asian. Wait, where are you from? He's Filipino. But like where'd you grow up? Born in Chicago, raised in Georgia Are there no Asian people in Georgia? I was like the only one and all my girlfriends in the past have been white girls Interesting And I went to prom with a black girl Yeah, I mean that's the I would figure you would get with an Asian girl before a black girl I don't know how that happened. Oh, I didn't like the way they

Acted is it because of your mom? No, are you adopted? No Oh my god. Okay doctor continue No, that's so interesting. Are you not attracted to Asian? I am I actually know quite a few There's personalities that I I've tried a couple bumble and tender dates with Asian girls It's just I don't think they understand it because I'm like an actor like Hollywood and like I don't have a lot of money And I can see they're like so what do you see yourself? You know, that is true Nine to five and that is true. Um, uh, a few of my Asian girl friends that When and when I told them your story, they were just like, well, no, yeah, he doesn't have a real job

So yeah, he's not attracted to us. If it wasn't if it's gonna be an Asian girl that I married She's probably gonna be in the industry. So she understands. Yeah, right. That's what it is. Yeah Well Good luck Hilbert. Yeah, I'll just go back to guys. No, but what I was saying was that We're gonna turn turn over a new Page in this book. This is fantastic. Bobby's not here. So no this means anything Do you ever feel this way like when we talk shit to each other? We feel like it's okay Yeah, but then other strangers then think it's okay to attack him. That's just social media. This is right

I know exactly what you're talking about. So okay, so my husband has an assistant And they are constantly like shit talking they play video games and they're like calling each other fags and all this and that but then Like my husband continues to talk to him like that in front of other people or like when they're You know when he's you know producing a scene and then there's there's girls there and Like he continues to talk to him as if they're playing a video game Right, but there's like a girl there and and like she doesn't understand, you know, what's going on and I feel like that's That gives the girl or whoever else is there the wrong impression that it's like okay to talk to someone like that or this person

Is here for that purpose, right? You know what I mean? Like I so yeah, I agree with you I don't think we rag on him so much and we always but my family's like that too Like our family is like the same way. Yeah, maybe you just have that kind of energy about you Like, you know how like rape victims get raped a lot. Do they really? Yeah Maybe I've never been raped. Just so the cameras see that Maybe you have that like victim energy But also he is such a really would just these two We really just and your family and all your friends and all my cousins

Yeah, I think we we take it to another level with you and I think that we should probably like, you know You know be nicer from you saying this is going to make it more No, because I realize now that every time you put put a picture up on instagram The immediate the first three comments are going to be gay fag fag it like there's all people Say to you now and it's sad because your mom and dad follow you on instagram and they're probably laughing They're probably laughing probably not because after a while even I get irked because I'm just like, whoa Like how did they talk to you like my big sisters? But then I'm like, whoa, I started this I bet you you don't change anything

Yeah, it's weird. I bet you nothing changes. This just gets worse But yeah, I'm sorry I'm gonna try from here on out and people if you guys are listening just you know, like take it easy on gilbert His mom and dad go home go extra hard now. Just definitely go extra hard. Do people call you gaybert? Uh, I think my cousin called me that Gabor it's good Yes, if you name so we used to call him only four skin and like the first like 10 wait, why because I don't have four skin Because you think only filipino who has four skin. You know what? I've always wondered this because I've I've

Fucked asian dudes, but I've never fucked a japanese guy Um, actually that's not true. I fucked one, but he was actually partly part german. His dad was half german So he's like a half, but he was Uncircumcised he had four skin, but I guess I just I don't know like it's very rare for filipinos To be to be on some uncircumcised because um, it's a rite of passage. It's uh, Oh, and It's like when you're older, right? Um, usually when they're seven or eight. No, no, not my dad's My dad's he was like 13 all his brothers would go to the river and they take a pineapple leaf and go

No, no, no, usually it's a lot younger than a pineapple leaf Well, usually they they they put like a it's called bookbook style. So they'll get um Something like this. Okay. Let's say this is the four skin. They'll push it They'll pull the four skin and tie it to the the whatever hard object is on side Okay, and then they'll chop it off, right? Oh, and then they'll chew guava leaves and then they'll shove the guava leaves Inside to heal it So we always I say that when we get to a certain amount of like listeners or like half a million He promised me that he would let me circumcise in bookbook style. Wait, hold on. So you have four skin or I

I can have a lot. You do have four skin. Uh, uh, definitely seven inches of it. Yeah Yes, a lot a lot does bobby have four skin. He doesn't have four skin It doesn't really matter. I mean in terms of pleasure for a woman is no for anal four skin is really good Is it really? Yeah as a guy. It's good because I'm more sensitive. Why? Why is that? I don't know, but um Like in the book about that in the pussy I can feel the difference between cut and uncut but not it's not like one's better one's worse But in the butt. Yeah, it's a huge difference like four skin Makes it

Much more pleasurable. That's when I'm like, oh, okay more pleasurable because it's less painful It's smoother. Um Yeah, it's just a smoother ride I see I see I see like it's a smoother ride by asa. It's um It's not so much like a pain thing It but it it just like feels better because it's almost like the dick moves inside its own foreskin while it's in your butt Yeah, so instead of being this thing that like goes in and out. It's just I don't know You were describing this so accurately

It just feels amazing. I should try uh, no bobby Like if when a guy who doesn't have foreskin fucks me in the butt and it feels really good I'm always afterwards. I'm always like, hey that felt really good good for you like Our guys with foreskin less wanted in porn It's like 50 50 like it's weird because so I grew up in new york a lot of jews um, so Everyone's everyone's circumcised especially like most of the dudes I fucked before getting into porn more circumcised

But maybe like maybe like 10 uncircumcised guys in porn. It's Probably exactly 50 50 Hmm But um, I always wonder that I mean it has to be 50 50 because most of the guys that watch Want to see dicks that are similar to theirs and right guys aren't circumcised in America are most is what it's mixed It's so mixed. I mean with jewish and filipinos. I mean a lot of I don't know. I mean I had a lot of I know a lot of mexican guys that aren't circumcised They're not they're not europeans a lot of europeans aren't no. Yeah. Well. Yeah, the euros definitely aren't

Yeah, so unless it's like a very like a strict part of your culture like it is in the filipines And that's a really only even with filipinos that grew up there black guys are usually circumcised Yeah, I think now it's it's such an easy thing to but like is it do you think it's you tell me do you think it's necessary? No, it's not necessary. No, why is it a thing? It's so weird to me this preconception that you know that the extra skin would harbor more bacteria That it would harbor more like you know things that it was tougher to clean because you would have to put it back So weird to me like why like why would a human being at this point like if Don't you think like if they didn't need foreskin or like if foreskin were bad for them? They'd be evolved without it by now

I mean it's the same but then it could be vestigial like like an appendix or or a tonsil. Yeah It could just be like an accessory, you know, right, but I mean decoration. I'm sitting right here But when I was younger the guys that I was with who were in circumcised This isn't the case when they're older there. There was always like a tinge to it Like I didn't like the smell or maybe because I have a big nose I didn't like the smell of uncircumcised guys, but that's also because I think that I was with pinions. No, no, no It's not an opinion. These are younger. I'm careful. That's not a fact No, this is when I was younger in high school with uncircumcised guys my age

We're in high school. You know what that means. It means they didn't clean it That's high school. That's young boys that don't know how to clean themselves So what I'm saying Gilbert is that I have all the uncircumcised that I've guys that I've been with as an adult Don't have that problem But I'm guessing that the reason that people even thought to circumcise was probably because of that Yeah, maybe because there like they didn't want to walk all the way to the river after like Yeah, I mean they're like, uh, just cut it off Schmegma Schmegma is you know an actor. No, it definitely I know exactly the sense you're talking about and it does develop

Like if they don't wash it, right? For sure. I know exactly what you're talking about. But I mean, I have a pussy I mean, there's like this. There's nothing more cavernous and you know Bacteria accumulating Yeah, then a vagina. So I mean, who am I to talk? All right, what else we got Gilbert? That's the entire belly. We're not doing any MMA minute today, right? What is that? We talk about MMA. Do you know anything about the UFC or MMA? Uh, next time when you're on also, well, you can you can do our picks and when there's a big pay-per-view weekend You can just pick which name

I like don't even know what that sentence means She's like picks MMA choose No, we just we we usually before like a big Like fight. Yeah fight fight. We we pick our fighters or whatever. We'll show you pictures You can picture which guy is going to beat the other guy up I love that. I love that. Just based on looks alone. Love that. Also, do you have any shows you want to promote or anything coming out? Um Does this release this week Wednesday? Yeah, Wednesday. Okay. Um, I'm actually going to be dancing in california this weekend in

At deja vu in sacramento I have a question about deja vu. Is that just a mostly black club now? I don't know because we went for my birthday. It was mostly black The one here the one in vegas is talking about the one on hollywood We went it wasn't black. It was 90% Okay, well, all right. Go ahead. I don't know if it's 90 black then it's probably a black. Okay. So deja vu go ahead um But I don't know they're deja vu is like a it's like a franchise

So it's very different each one like one will be really nice and then the next one will be like super shitty So but they're actually a feel they're owned by hustler. Oh, okay. Yeah, so I think I'm like 90 Yeah, exactly. So, um, I'll be there and then I have a book coming out in august called dirty 30 and That's it any stand-up shows I don't do comedy I could nap that to me would be the have you done an open mic before. Oh, hell no, let's do one

Let's do one. Let's film it. We're gonna have you do an open mic. I would never I would like literally that will never happen Once no way that that's like all my biggest fears rolled into one thing Yeah, but I saw you at your book reading. You were more than comfortable being in front of I'm comfortable like being in front of people And I'm comfortable like answering questions, but to come up with material and be like Hello, this is I think this will make you laugh. Yeah, this came out of my brain like oh hell no Yeah, yeah, that's a different sport. Yeah there. I feel you you did stand up, right? Um, I did maybe just a handful of open. Did you like it? It was awful. You know that I already sweat a lot right imagine

10 times more sweat like on stage. It was visible From every distance. Did did bobby watch you? Um, he you know bobby was He forced me to do it. Oh, it was bobby's first and at first I thought that he he did because he thought that I had potential And actually I soon after I found that he made me do it so I could feel the pain and understand his You know I was like, wow, that's kind of fucked up. It's kind of fucked up, but I totally understand it So it actually made me appreciate

Right, um, you know what he does for a living much more force me to also he just forces people to do stand up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I mean, you know But it's not for me. No, I would never. All right. Um, any other oh, yeah, your book comes out in august Oh, nice. You're done with a second. I'm done with it. I just finished it last month. Um And now we're at the point where like We're going all over like overall the legal stuff Yeah, and it's funny because like the notes they give me like are just like insane and I dispute every little thing Yeah, and it's it's the part I hate the most. So you do you have to give it to an editor that you choose before it's

beforehand so um like No, like I I've They gave me the option to either hand it in chapter by chapter or just finish it and then hand the whole thing in And that's what I chose to do. Oh nice. And then um, and like they don't really change the content like they just fix like the grammatical errors and like Um, you know using the

I don't know like if I say a brand they'll like make me put it in a more generic term or you know stuff like that so It's just like the shittiest part because they make you approve everything So like and it's so like time consuming and like I'm just sitting there clicking accept on like every space and semi colon and It's I hate it Uh, does bobby have any shows? Um What are we? Oh, yeah, this weekend. Do you break bar? Yeah, I was trying to figure out. Do you manage his schedule?

I just know his schedule better than he does That's true. That's not surprising Um, bobby is going to be at the chicago improv in shomburg, illinois this weekend Um, friday through sunday. Yes friday through sunday and he's going to be in san josea improv march 4th through 6th And that's all we have for now. Um, I think he at the weekend after that. I think he's on in ontario Oh, wait, you should go to that one where I want to see it's kind of far though. It's all in ontario Where's that? Is that in canada? Oh, can I do a guess? Um, ontario california ontario is like wait, is there one in canada? Yes. Yes. Oh, okay. Thank god. Oh my god

You didn't know you're not stupid. It's true. That's very true from here. It's probably about 45 minutes. Oh, I would go. When is it? Um, I think it's a second week of march You're doing a guest spot. No, I'm not. Are you going? Yeah, okay. I'll go I'm actually doing a guest spot. Do not force her to do anything. It's agonizing also. I'll go. I'll go I mean, I'm not gonna do anything, but I'll go. Yeah, definitely come and um guys if you haven't already picked up osse's first book Definitely do that. It's called insatiable. You should read it. Jenna just read it. Oh really couldn't buy it down. Oh good And she went on like a she says hi by the way. Hi Jenna. Shout out to Jenna and she went on like a serial like masturbation

Full week of just masturbating after she read your book. I believe it. Yeah It really inspired her. But she was like really doing that anyway, right? No, she wasn't at all. Oh, really? Yeah, because she's like Yeah, yeah, she she went into this whole um, let's not talk about her masturbation Jenna would come in here and she's yeah. She's gone. Yeah. Jenna's a pretty horny girl Like and and I mean that as a compliment. Yeah, she's talked about getting a vaginoplasty like on the show I don't think she'd care. Has she been on this one? She hasn't been on this one yet. Why not? We'll have her on when you're on next time Okay, perfect. Yeah. Yeah, but thank you so much osse. Thank you for having me. You have to come back as often as possible. Anytime. Anytime. And um I we forgot to ask that one. The the you already know the most often the most asked question of all time

Quick answer on this one. Okay. It's not a long time somebody. This is we probably got the most questions on this Is dvd asa dead? I I don't really have an answer Um, there it is. I don't I don't know what what's gonna happen what the future holds. Um, we're on a break Dave is focusing on like other things right now. Um, But he's good. Um, you know, we just saw him. Yeah last week. Um And I don't know like I to me dvd asa was like my whole social life. Yeah, um, you know, I'm like a hermit I don't go out. I don't party. Oh, totally. Like I'm

Home like 90% of the time of my life And so, you know that once a week getting out was I think like really good for me. Um, so I miss it a lot and I have tiger belly now. Yeah And this is my new home Thank you guys for listening to the episode you can follow us on instagram at Uh tiger belly. Uh, you can find coli lond instagram at calamity k you can find asa And as a whole and as a whole three and as a whole five. Oh, and as a whole five Yeah, as a whole five is me too, but as a whole seven not me as a whole two and four

Geno's trying to tag into pictures like there's like 10 of them. I don't know what to do Yeah, I'm three of them. So you only like odd numbers. Um, well, no two was taken Okay, so that's why I was like all right three and then I was like may as well just do five because Yeah, you can't you can't do four. No, it's just a weak number. Yeah, and make sure you follow bobby on instagram at gilbitt's g i l b i t s Once again, that is bobby's instagram. Make sure you follow it might look like me But it's bobby lee's if you're a big fan of bobby lee follow at gilbitt's g i l b i t s So fucking weak also said I was a great guy. Okay. Bye. See you guys next week. Bye. Thank you for having me Hey

Prime members, you can listen to tiger barely ad-free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad-free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey