TigerBelly - Episode 32: The Tip Over

Episode Date: March 9, 2016

Bobby has explicit instructions for preserving his dead body. Khalyla has a brief dalliance at a Disney World Resort hotel. Gilbert is devastated by the loss of an Irish man. We talk Mexican zombies, Scott Kelly, and cat racism.   Recorded March 7, 2016 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly YouTube: TigerBelly Facebook: thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. Three, two, one. Welcome to Tiger Belly. My name is Bobby Lee and I'm with Kalayla and Gilbert and Pink Dick George. And man, I want to say I'm very full of gratitude and love in my heart. Man, I just want to be I'm appreciative of my life, man. Like I was just in San Jose playing at the improv there and a lot of Tiger Belly fans came out and a lot of people said George has a pink dick, probably about 80 people.

I'm not even fucking kidding. Yeah, I swear to God. In line, people would just whisper George has a pink dick and it really made me feel good. Our server, when he first got there Friday night, the guy who works at the improv who serves the food, he comes in with a drink, like some fried shrimp. And he was like, George has a pink dick. And you're like, whoa, shit. It's great.

And I just wanted to say thank you, George, for, you know, I met you at Maker and I've always found you as a really nice person. And I can tell that you really work hard and you're into things. And I really appreciate it. Gilbert, Gilbert, I want to say that you're just a fucking ball of fresh energy, dude. Whoa, man. Fresh energy. I'm not dumb, fucker.

All right, dog. All right, dog. You're full of fresh energy, dude. And a nimble spirit, dude, like you bend. Okay, hold. You put your soul. I just want to say it also is that when I look at your face, it brightens my day, bro. Like you have a really good face.

Yeah, thanks, man. And your intentions are good and pure, man. And your foundation is strong, bro. My foundation? Yeah, yeah. Shit. What about me? Okay.

Well, don't you, don't you? No, no, no. Colada already knows. Now look at me. Let me say this. When I walk in, I'm like, my day kind of sucks. I see that yellow hat. I'm like, is that Bobby?

Yeah. I'm not there. I'm not there yet. I'm not there yet. And I see your face. He usually does this. Here's the camera. Okay.

If the camera is me, this is Bobby. Hey, what's up, bro? And I just go, oh, I get so warm inside. I really do. I don't like your adjectives for Bobby. You could have done a better job. I get warm. Warm?

I feel like you prepared a fucking paragraph for me. I feel bad now. I know. I called you a nimble spirit. You guys had a great foundation? Yeah. Jesus. Where I build a house on.

But you know what? Can I say you're a good guy? Now I just realized that house is built on sand now. And it's not a good foundation. And you fuck you. I'm not good with words. I know, man. I'm sorry.

I'm not good. George, thanks for being here, man. Go fuck yourself. Now let me say something. And of course, I have the beautiful and lovely and charismatic Kalyla, my girlfriend. And I'm, my blessings are deep with her, man. Let's hold hands.

Let's hold hands. I don't want to hold hands right now. Let's hold hands. Come on. Like lovers, babe. Our blessings are deep. Babe, like lovers. Come on.

And what I want to say is that. Don't leave me hanging, babe. What I want to say is that. What I want to say is that this weekend, not only were my shows very good at the San Jose improv. Thank you, San Jose. But also we were able to see probably one of the best nights of UFC I've ever seen in my fucking life.

Crazy night. Misha Tate won and she was losing the whole fight. I thought. I thought she was losing the whole fight clearly. The second round was her second round. But the, all the other rounds were all Holly. And at the last minute, she puts Holly in a rear nicochoke hold and it was fucking amazing.

That's the beauty about Misha Tate. She's in several of her fights. She'll come from behind and she'll come from winning from losing a few couple rounds and she's a finisher. She's a tough bitch, man. She's an ox. I mean, you saw her on top of Holly. Holly couldn't shake her off often.

That was crazy. And then the fight after that, which was almost life haltering. Conor McGregor gets choked out rear nicochoke by Nick Diaz. Nate, Nate, Nate, Nate. Nate Diaz. Nathan. They're brothers. I know.

But Nick is 185. I know. They're the same. They're Mexican. Exactly. Yeah. That's what I was saying. 209.

You can't fuck with Mexican spirit. Wow. You can't fuck with that Stockton spirit. Those boys are hearty. No, it's Mexican. But Mexican. It's Mexican because I'll tell you why. Okay.

How many Canadians sneak over to the United States over the border? I'm not sure. Not a lot. Not a lot, yeah. How many Mexicans? Everyone. Every single one of them. They all want to come here and they do it.

You know why? Because of heart resilience, right? And they're a tough group of people. And, and fuck, you don't fuck with Mexicans, man. You know what I mean? And Nick Diaz. Canada has more liberties and they have universal health care. So why would they want to hop over as much as the Mexicans?

Because they have a lot of creepy white people up there. That's true. You know what I mean? They have serial killers over there. Like Georgie? Georgie, you're not, you're not creepy. You're not creepy. I mean, I know Ed Jean is from Wisconsin, but dude, you know what I mean?

No, I love Canada. Canada is the best. I want to talk more about this Connor thing. So we were, we were watching it at the, at the improv and it's a pity we didn't get a video of our reactions. I mean, I look at this right here. I don't know if you can see it, but that is rugburn because I literally did it. She blew everyone in the room.

I mean, so Carter gets tapped down and she's just pulling out dick instead of sucking. I'm like, so what are you doing? What are you doing? I was like, stop crying. I was blowing in tears. We're going down. I had given up. No, she did a slide on her knees because I was in disbelief.

I mean, not so much like shock or disbelief that Nate couldn't pull it off because I, I was telling Bobby and I was telling everyone if this goes past the second round, it could get interesting. I just didn't know it would happen that quickly in that, that, that soon. So I did a fucking knee slide on, on carpet and I, I hum on the, the, the manager of the club was standing right there and I literally grabbed like this part of the suit and I got on my knees and I was like, why? I was in, I couldn't believe it.

Did you cry? I didn't cry. I love Nate. I honestly respect Nate. I love that he brings his fan base and I think that he's underrated, underpaid, one of the most underappreciated fighters in the UFC. And you know, I'm glad that he's finally getting his payday because that motherfucker has been paying his dues for ever.

I literally ran into a different room and I fucking threw a table. I could flip the table. It wasn't a different room. It was the same room. You flip a chair and a table. No, in the other room. I ran into the other room where there was no one there, an empty room, an empty room, an office and I pulled a tape.

I, I flipped the table and nobody watched me do it. I just did it because it was just so stunning to me. I want to know because Gilbert is the ultimate McGregor fan. I mean, you are, I don't hate Nate Diaz, but Connor, Connor is your boy is my boy. He is. So what, what, what was it like? What did you feel in your heart? I don't know.

I would need it to be like replayed again. Okay. I'll let me do a, a really good. Oh, so like, uh, Bobby's, Bobby's Nate Diaz, Bobby's, yeah, I'm Nate and this is Connor and you don't have to do a real naked. I'm not going to do a real one on you. If he can't visualize what it was like seeing it, then he's a fucking retard. Let me just do a quick one.

Well, you just want to put me in a real n***a try that's fine, but he's like, well, just you guys know this was kind of a bit, but all right. I'm at the bar. I'm at, um, I'm at a big wangs. Okay, I'm like, oh, fuck, oh, fuck, Connor, Connor, Connor, get out, Connor, Bobby, do it. Connor does Bobby, Connor, Connor, Connor, Connor, Connor, I didn't cry, but shit. My heart dropped.

My heart did drop. No, we did all that for that. Yes. FYI. FYI. Yeah. I didn't even do a proper thing. And can I say something?

I want to say that, um, I am 100% now a Connor McGregor fan. Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I listen, listen for a second. Fuck. Okay. Didn't like him before.

I kind of, I was, he was, I'll be sold on him a little bit through the years and for the year throughout the year, but, um, he, he was so humble. You know what I mean? Oh yeah. And he took it such, such like a man, right? He's very analytical about it, you know, about why he lost. He gave props to Nate Diaz and, um, what, Jose Aldo, Jose Aldo, Instagram did, or Twittered, the tweeted, tweeted, was so disrespectful that I now am on Connor McGregor's side for

life. But my, it was a little bit sus to me because the tweet wasn't perfect English. So I mean, I'm sure it was a marketing person who did that. They want the fight. They want the mill, the million dollar fight. Every guy wants it. He's going to stir the pot as much as he, he can to get that UFC 200 fight. Is it the 200?

And people listening, probably half of you people don't even care about the UFC. I apologize for, you know what I mean, but it was such a dramatic moment, you know, in UFC history that I thought that it was something that we needed to share. And here's the, why McGregor to me is, I'm not, I think John Jones is one of the most talented fighters I have ever seen, but I remember starting to kind of, my feelings for John Jones started to fade because I remember years ago when, um, he was supposed to fight Dan Henderson and maybe like two weeks prior, Dan Henderson pulled out from injury.

And so Chael Sonnen, um, stepped in and he was like, look, I'll fly in tonight. I'll fight him tonight. And John Jones was like, nah, I'm not going to defend my title against a guy who, who on, on short notice with, with a new guy and that twice in the last nine months, Connor McGregor, not only defended on short notice, but he went two weight classes up. I mean, you can dislike the guy for everything, for, for, you know, being arrogant for being, you know, um, you know, some people think he's a little like braggadocious, but not motherfucker has done so much.

And people throw in the whole race thing, like they say, Oh, you know, because he's a white man and they've really, this organization has pushed him because he's a white man. But I honestly think that there might be some truth behind that, but I honestly think there is no better person or ambassador for the sport that can speak like Connor. And I, I, Ireland's like an oppressed nation, you know? Yeah. So I don't, I don't think that he quite applies as like the typical white man. I don't even know that.

What? I mean, what does that mean? No, cause some people are like, well, what about, okay, let me ask you this. Yeah. They're like, well, how come the UFC, given that Nate Diaz and Nick Diaz have been around forever since they were like 17 years old? How come they've only ever gone paid $40,000 per fight, even though they do have a huge fan base?

No, I'm talking about the oppression thing about the Ireland. What does that mean? Oh, what do you mean? What's the history? What does that have anything to do with it? This is literally, I'm taking the words out of your mouth. Oh, I never said that. Oh God.

When did I say that? Oh God. Oh God, what? This is where, where I'm going to expose you in two seconds. Expose, expose away, expose away. I have no idea what you mean by that. Okay. You want to be exposed?

Yeah. I'll expose me. You want to be exposed? Yeah. I love the exposure. I hate being indoors. I want to be exposed. Okay.

Oftentimes in this podcast, oftentimes in this podcast. Uh-oh. I will take what you've said and make it my own because it's a little bit too inflammatory. What called being a thief, but anyway. No, it's a little bit too inflammatory for you to say. Oh shit, yeah. Right? Yeah, yeah.

I know. Okay. I'll see. You want me to expose you or not? Well, don't expose, I think you're going to expose, expose the part that when in terms of the Ireland thing, expose that. Oh, selective exposing, yeah. Well, you can't expose shit that like I said to her on the side that's like completely

like private. No, not private. You know, it's not that private. I could expose you right now. With who? You know. I already know today. D?

No. What does that have anything to do with the other thing I just said, bitch? That has one has nothing to do with the other. I can expose you too, bitch. Expose me. You want to expose each other? Let's expose each other. Come on.

Exposure with Bobby and Kalei. I'm not exposing nothing, okay? So anyway, what I'm saying is everything that I'm saying right now is from a conversation that you and I have had over the weekend about the fight. Okay. In terms of you, you know, I never said anything about the Ireland being oppressed, but that's not true. Are you serious?

With a smile so deceiving. Jesus, you're strange. You're strange. Just making up shit. You're a strange man. Because they were oppressed. I'm just saying they've had a hard history. And that's what makes them a champion.

No, that's not what I'm saying at all. Wow. If you could just attach some ears to the side of your face, that would be really nice. What are you giving all the aggressive for? I was just finding it. Smile, Kalei. Smile. Smile for the camera.

Yeah, Kalei's under the weather a little bit. One more thing about that press conference. Did you guys see how he grabbed Holly Holm's shoulder? Yeah. Oh, fuck. That was sweet. That was endearing. Damn.

But can I just say about Holly Holm? Yeah. Yeah. Come on. What do you mean? No. Come on. Let's be real.

And if I was just, if I ran into her, the only thing I would say to her was, come on. Bob, is that Bob Lee from H2B? Yeah. Yeah. I'll say come on. Because it's seriously, you can't. Oh, stop it. No.

Fuck. No. You're the champion. All right. And you're winning the fight. And there's a minute left. Right. And there was a, there's a little bit of a pocket where Misha Tate ran in and she swarmed

in for the takedown. A weak takedown too. She didn't even have, she kind of snuck around the back. What do you call that? And Holly could have stood up. I just felt like she could have stood up, but she didn't. And all that other stuff was moot and too late. And you lost.

And you may never get the belt back. So I'm just saying, come on. Come on, Holly. Yeah. You fucked up. You're a great athlete. I don't think that Connor fucked up. I think Connor miscalculated that he was fighting a Mexican zombie that has no feelings

in his face. He had to come a thousand times with his left hand. That was a crazy left. And there was moments in there where Connor and his head said, fuck, I usually hit guys with these punches like Jose Aldo once, right? And he knocked out 13 seconds. But this fucking Mexican zombie just kept going. No, it's not spirit.

It's just dead and nerves in his face. I think also the, the advantage that Nate Diaz has is that with Connor and all his other opponents, Connor can employ psychological warfare onto them. He can get in their heads. He can, you know, get them to feel emotional. That's just not something you can do with any of the Diaz brothers. They're masters of not giving a fuck. They're masters of deflecting any type of psychological warfare.

They're dumb, dumb. So let's be real. They're not dumb, dumb. I don't give a fuck. They're like Manny Pacquiao. It's a simpleton. You know what I mean? Just fuck, fuck it.

I think that they're eccentric. That's eccentric. Yeah. I think that they've had, you know, and, um, I feel like we're eccentric. They're, no, no, no, no, I think that there is, that's a perfect word for him. They're, they're often sometimes like, you know, they're smart, then. You think they're smart. I don't, I, I can't say that they're not.

I think that people have different type of intelligence. Then maybe they're not great speakers. They're not great orators. They're not great, you know, in terms of maybe like, you know, what is this money channel? But he does have some good one-liners. What did he say? That's what he said. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He said Connor was playing touch butt in the park. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was funny. Touch butt with that goofy ponytail guy, man. Fuck you. With Ido Portal, the movement. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Touch butt. That's funny. No, I like the brothers. I think that they're, you know, a great example of some just hardworking dudes from Stockton. I love them. Let's not talk about fucking it. I mean, people are bored if they don't know about the UFC and I feel bad kind of guilty

about it, you know? Yeah. I mean, something magical that happened on the way we drove to San Jose and we stopped at a gas station. Okay. I got some Red Bull. You know, I got some nuts. You know, I love getting nuts over there.

Yeah. Like nuts, you know, like getting like packaged nuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were in Santanella. I was smoking a cigarette off the side and we're in Santanella. Santanella is like in the butt fucking nowhere. Nowhere.

There's just gas stations and like. Like Bakersfield? Farms. Or worse. Yeah. It's a beautiful place. Shut the fuck up. Oh, sorry.

Okay. It's a beautiful place and thank you for the money. Two weeks ago. That was an amazing payday, but I was smoking and all of a sudden I see one cat, a little cat and he was scared, a little black one. You know what I mean? He was like. Yum, yum.

And he kind of ran away. Four in the morning. Four in the morning. I go, fuck, there's a cat, right? I love cats, you know? Yeah. And then all of a sudden you looked out in the field and like it's like they just started coming out of these.

There's a brush. There was like these, I know it's not wheat, but they look like wheat, you know what I mean? It's not wheat. I don't think they were growing anything. It was like basically flat land. No, it's wheat. And weeds.

Okay. It looked like weed. Weeds. Okay. There's something growing. Yeah. Something growing. The argument of wheat or no wheat.

Shrubbery. Shrubbery. That's a better word. Shrubbery. Shrubbery. And there was a bunch of them that came out of there. It was a whole beautiful land of cats. It was just this big prairie of just kittens and cats.

It was roughly like, I saw about 20 maybe in the beginning, but in like a small area and they were just running around free. So we wanted to go back there and capture it. Yeah. I mean, they weren't even feral really. They were. They were feral. Well, I mean, they said meow to me.

They didn't go. You know what I mean? Oh, they spoke to you. What? They spoke to you. Well, then we go meow like that. That's hi. You know what I mean?

Get the fuck out of here. Yeah. They didn't do an idea. You know what I mean? You know, Connor, you know, but, uh, yeah, I want to go back there and my opener be Billy Bonnell and I one day I'm going to make money and we're going to open up a cat sanctuary. I think that's a dream come true. Remember when the lottery, that big lottery draw a few weeks ago where that person where

like the jackpot was like a billion dollars or some shit like that? Bobby and I were the night before because we bought a few tickets. We were like, what are we going to do with this money? And all we could think about and all we could conjure up as a plan was to just build a cat sanctuary. Yeah. To just build, to just buy a shit ton of land and just, you know, spay and neuter cats and then keep them if they don't have any homes.

I mean, we're not going to grab everyone. There's an interview process. Only the good ones and the cute ones. What are these? So what are some of the things you have to qualify? Well, the color. Only pretty cats then? Oh, the color.

Yeah. What colors are exempted? What? What? What color? Excuse me, sir. Yeah. I have a cat.

I have a couple of cats. I wanted to know, um, I have a black cat. I have a white cat. I have a black cat. I have a black cat. What does a black cat look like? Uh, like, uh, like, uh, like a Donald Glover? Oh, it's a Donald Glover cat.

Yeah. There's no white spots or nothing. No, it's a Donald Glover cat. Yeah. Nah. What do you mean nah? Sir, is this a cat? Nah.

You said it's a cat sanctuary. I said nah. Okay. What about my white cat? Yes. What about my yellow cat? Yes. But my black cat?

Nah. Oh, okay. I guess I'll go to Petco. Go to Petco. Interesting. It's a bad luck. It has nothing to do with the race. There's no race in terms of cats.

I didn't even bring up race. I'm just telling you the right now, it's, but my, the color of it has nothing to do with the race. I'm just going to say that. It has to do with like, you know, superstitions. Okay. Right. So if a black cat, you know what I mean?

If there's a horde of black cats, they wouldn't be, they wouldn't come into my sanctuary. What is it? All black cats. Well, if there's spots of white, then they're like Obama. So then I'm like, so race has nothing to do with it. Oh, okay. But to me, they're like, you know, they're not as bad luck because there's some white in it.

Okay. What about, what about like a one-eyed white cat or three-legged yellow cat? Nope. But it looks like no, no injured three, three legs. Nope. Well, it would, it wouldn't, the second sound wouldn't come out if it, a second sound would not come out. Three legged cat.

Yeah. It actually says Bobby and it's a sign from God. The cat actually says your name, but it has three legs. Well, then yeah, of course. There we go. But that would never happen Gilbert because if it said Bobby, then I'm going to be like, oh shit, I'm going to make a lot of money because now I have a circus freak show. Okay.

True. Right. And I would charge money, 50 bucks ahead and you can talk it. You know what I mean? I'll be killing it. All right. But that doesn't happen. Yeah.

All right. So let's say you're a three-legged cat. Yeah. And you're a guy. Yeah. Sell it to me. Hey, I have a three-legged cat. Cool.

Can I ask you something? Yeah. Is this, does it say circus on my fucking sanctuary? Hey man, it's my cat. I'm asking you a question. Do you know where he is? No, it's my cat. Well then go.

No. Your wife has been very quiet this whole time. Well, she's a jungle Asian. I'm also part of the circus. The jungle Asian, she's in the circus. It's a lady with three boobs. Yeah. No, I, no, only, you know what I mean, cats that aren't fully black and that have all

four legs and eyes and stuff. And I'm telling you right now, it has nothing to do with race and that's fucking ridiculous. Or disabilities. It has to do with disabilities. Oh, it has to do with disabilities. Yeah, because let me ask you a question. All right, let's say that my, I have a cat that's fully like healthy, four legs, right? Eyes all of it, right?

And I have a cat with no eyes and two legs. That guy's gonna get his ass kicked, man. He'll be ripped apart. But it's a sanctuary. There's 50. Oh, there you go. What do you mean? It's a sanctuary.

So there's like a pond and there's like, there's like ambient music playing. What the fuck are you talking about? You're gonna kill off the Beethoven of cats. Oh, wow. I didn't think of it that way. You're gonna kill off like basically like the Amadeus of cats. Wait, not Amadeus, just the Beethoven. You're gonna kill off the Beethoven of cats.

What? Because Beethoven was deaf? Is that what you're trying to fucking relate to? Yes. He was disabled. He was, he slowly got death through time. Okay. I'm sorry, but he was still deaf.

It was just like, okay. So if the cat... Forget it. Fuck the sanctuary. No sanctuary. Closed. It's not called a sanctuary. It's my house.

I want to build a ranch, right? No sanctuary. I'm gonna have a bunch of cats in it, and they're my cats. And I get to choose. Yeah, you can apply those rules. Yeah, that's it. Speaking of superstitions, so you said no black cats because of superstition. Like what are actual superstitions you really believe in?

Me? Yeah. Oh, I believe in a lot. Tell me, name a few. A Hat on the Bed. A Hat on the Bed? Yeah, a year of bad luck. Oh, really?

A Hat on the Bed? Yeah. No. You ever see the movie Drugstore Cowboy with Matt Dillon? Oh, yes, yes. I remember that, yes. Did they say Hat on the Bed? Year of bad luck.

Yeah. Oh, that makes a lot of sense. No wonder I've been miserable. I don't believe in that. I believe in walking underneath the ladder. Walking underneath the ladder is just... Bad luck. Bad luck or you're gonna...

Opening umbrella indoors. Oh, that one too. Yeah. Oh, another one that came true in the Philippines. Touching a Persian? That wasn't it. That's one. Touching a Persian.

Babe, babe, babe. Remember, remember? Not the Persian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want to touch a Persian. Yeah, don't ever touch a Persian. I've kissed a Persian. That's 10 years old and that's 40 years old.

Persian girls are very pretty. Very pretty. Yeah, but bad luck for 30 years. Oh, fuck. I've kissed a pretty girl. Yeah, I've looked for 30 years. I remember in the Philippines, right before I had my whole medical emergency where my heart basically exploded like a ticking time bomb, we went out to a Chinese restaurant

and we had a whole fish, like a whole steamed fish. And I told Bobby, it's like, you know, it's bad luck if you... When you eat like the top part of the fish and then you flip it to eat the other side, you're supposed to eat the fish, eat the meat up top, peel the bone off and then eat the under part. So you just remove... You're not supposed to flip the fish. But see, the thing is, is that...

And then literally we did it anyways, they're like, oh, fuck it, fuck the superstition. And then five hours later, I was in an emergency room and then I was in intensive care for five days. So that's one that I hang on to. So I'll never flip a fucking fish again. I got stupid, but... Interesting. Well, you know, I'm kind of just say this though, in some countries, they just completely

take the bones out before they serve it to you. Why? What do you mean why? So I don't have to fuck a... Everything has to be filleted for you? Yes. Ooh, that is some fucking first world bullshit thing. Oh, can I ask you this, Kalayla?

Yes. If I ordered a steak and they brought half a torso of a cow out... Which they did yesterday when you ordered a half a fucking torso of a cow. You know what I mean? I'm gonna be like, this is bullshit. I just want the side. Have you not seen a Filipino lechon? They'll put the whole fucking pig on a table with its face and everything.

Yeah, the whole thing. And they're gonna flip it over. They're not gonna flip the pig over. Are there any Korean superstitions that your parents kind of followed? Well, Touch of Persian was... What? Is that... No, shut up, man.

Are you thinking... Okay. Bobby, don't touch a Persian. No. Um... Uh... No. They weren't superstitions, my dad would say stuff like, don't watch TV too close.

You'll go blind. No, no, no. Grandpa will die. He'll make it up. He'll make it up. I like the committee reversal, your dad. Yeah, he would make shit up. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Grandpa will die? Yeah, yeah. I said, he's already dead. You did it. You did it. Too much TV. Yeah, too much TV.

Or like when you say... When you do, you know, you cross your eyes, then they say if the wind blows, it's gonna stay like that. Yeah, yeah, it's stuck like that. If you're laying on the floor and then someone walks over you, you're gonna... Your growth is gonna get stunted and you'll never grow past that height that you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a very like Filipino thing.

That's the one my dad does, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of growing though, that one astronaut, he... Group two inches. Group two inches. Fucking group two inches, George. So Scott Kelly, who spent 340 days in space because of microgravity up there, he came

back and they measured him and he was two inches taller. You know this is gonna happen. That the Chinese are gonna go up there and have a program where, you know, because you know what they do now? If they wanna get taller, they... Some Chinese people, they had that surgery where they cut the bone, right? Then they leave a gap so the bone fills in. It's the most painful surgery.

Is that how it works? Yeah, it takes years to fill in. But these young people do it so they can get taller. Oh my God. But you know that they're gonna go to space now. Oh, shit. That's how much they wanna get tall. They they'll cut the bone, leave a gap and then it fills in.

Yeah, but part of the reason why Asian people weren't tall to begin with was because of like poor nutrition. But if you see the Koreans now, like who actually live in Seoul or like in the more, you know, in bigger cities in Asia, they're tall. Yeah, I know. Like Korean girls, I mean, even when I was in Korea, they were like 5'7", 5'8". Yeah. Who actually lived in the city.

I'm not sure about the rest. I mean, Filipinos are generally still short. But I mean, my sister, my sister's 6'2", I guess. But she's mixed with French. So anyway, yeah, so this Scott Kyle, Kaylee went up there for a year and then everyone's celebrating the fact that he was in a spacecraft for a year and I'm like, who gives a fuck? Why? That's the most amazing thing this guy gave a year of his life to science.

Let me say this right now. I don't give a fuck. Let me say this. Then Kala asked me, Kala asked me, can you do it? I could do that all day, dog. What, chill in space? Yeah, for a year. Can I just, okay.

For starters, Scott, Kelly, I follow him on Instagram and I follow him on Twitter. He takes the most like amazing photographs. I could do that too, dude. He actually is a legit astronaut. This isn't his first time in space. I'm just saying that can Bobby Lee survive in space for a year? No. Why?

Because you can handle the G force of any like upwards or downward travel. I think you would like throw up and pass out. That's not true. Yes. I think we should put you. No, that's not true. Yes. You know why?

Because that was at a carnival once, right? And they had this thing, you know, that thing where it spins like you're in a room and it spins in a circle and everyone gets stuck to a wall, right? Really? Yeah. You get stuck to the wall with the G force and there was a malfunction. I sort of got on this thing where they couldn't turn it off. So everybody was on this thing, I swear to God, for 40 minutes and you're only supposed

to be on it for three, two, three minutes. 40 minutes? Yes. 40 minutes. 40. People were freaking out. An hour? Yeah.

Yeah. They shut the thing down, right? This is in Dalmar. They shut it down, right? Oh, my God. And I was stuck to the side for 40 minutes and people were vomiting, right? It was coming into their face, right? And I took a nap, the shit, no, no, no business.

Frank, is that Asian guy just sleeping right now? Yeah. What the fuck? No. I just... Like this. I give a fuck. 40 minutes.

I was just panicking and I could have done another nine hours. Fuck G force. There you go. Obviously not effective. And everyone got out and there was an ambulance. People were like coming on gurneys and people thought people were going to die, right? I walked out. I wasn't even dizzy.

I walked out. I had a cigarette. I said, later. I left. Give a fuck, bro. Nadia style, bro. 209. Mexican spirit.

Yeah, so fuck the G force. Give me another one. What else would I survive? I don't think that you can, well... I can float. Yeah. I know you can float, but I mean, like, Scott Kelly did other things in the International Space Station.

He's a legit astronaut. I'll wipe down the mirror. That's not... If there's an astronaut, hey, Bob, there's like a little space debris on the wind mirror. I'll wipe it down. Okay. I think that we should propose this to NASA then. I think that you should be, you should give your year a year of your life to science.

Yeah. And you should try and beat Scott Kelly's record of 340 days. I'll see how much money do we have. Five years? Give me $5 million for five years. I'll do it. For five years. I can do it for five years.

Ugh. Well, number one, will I get space food up there? Yes, you will. Number one. That's fine. I wonder if your dick grows. Bobby will test that. Because if you're...

I'll test that. Oh, for sure. Because of the five, one year will be dedicated just for that. Dictate. Dictrate. Yeah. I'll stretch it out. You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? I'll masturbate. You know what I mean? What it's in space? How do you think that's... I'll nut and then I'll try to swallow the cum and the floating in there. Oh, come on. I'll do all that.

You know what I mean? I'm just saying that I could do it for a year. Now, if they're like, hey, can you fix that engine or jet propulsion? I would be like, I don't know anything about that. So that's how Scott Kelly has an advantage over me. But in terms of just like living up there, it's not a big deal. That's all I'm saying. Anyone can do that.

George can do it. You can do it. Everyone can do it. I would have a panic attack in the first two days. To be confined like that, to not have just, I would freak the fuck out. Even thinking about it. My anxiety is through the roof. Just so there's no cameras where I can do things.

You know what I mean? I wonder if you can smoke up there. Oh. Or you can actually just chew that. No, he would have to just have probably nicotine patch or like... I would chew. Right? Why can't you smoke up there?

Because I mean, unless you want... Can you vape up there? I'm sure you can vape. Can you vape? Yeah. I don't know too much about that. I wonder what sex is like when you're floating like that. It's like being on a...

I don't know what it would be like. It would just be really slow. It would just... Yeah. Slow stuff. Yeah, you would really have to have controlled movements. Wow. Wow.

Wow. Yeah. Motherfuckers. Pointup.com. Speaking of sex, I'm going to just know where to go around this. Kalala texted me one day. Oh, no. Oh, God.

Can I bring it up? Can I bring it up? I don't know where to go. I know. Just give me permission to bring it up. You can do whatever you want. It's America. It's America, bro.

Oh, Bob, sweetie, yes. Something happened last week. So Kalala texted me. Something happened. I'm sorry, everyone. No, I'm not freaking Bob. Whatever. So is that the week she had a fever brain?

This is when I was having a fever last week. She texted me and goes, Gilbert, I had a weird dream. And I went, what? And I'm going to just say the thing and then you can explain it in more detail. She said, I had a dream that George ate my butt. I wasn't going to tell you. I was only supposed to be for Gilbert. I'm so sorry, George.

I didn't plan to dream that you would. He's freaking out, George. He's freaking out. Can I just tell you what the dream was? I got that death stare over here. I got that death stare. Can I tell you what the dream was? How it happened?

Tell Bob. Because I had to. I had to unload it onto someone. I had to, like, and I couldn't tell Bob because it'd be weird. Stop, stop, stop. You have a dream. I'm so sorry, babe. That George ate your butt and you text Gilbert and I don't know anything

about it. Because you weren't going to wake up for another five hours and I had to tell someone. But I actually did wake up, bitch. And you could have said, hey, I had this dream where George ate my butt. But the last week, you get upset when I dream about Conor McGregor or other people. That's fine. But fucking George? I'm so sorry, George.

Fucking George. I'm so sorry, George. I mean. This is what happened. Tell the detail of what happened. Okay, so apparently we were in some, like, Disney World Resort type hotel. Jesus. Fucking Christ.

Of course, George would do weird shit like that. Yeah, yeah. No, but we were all there. I wasn't. I wasn't. I wasn't there. All right, so tell me about, tell me what I walk it through. Okay.

I got it. It was really strange and I'm really sorry about this, George. But what you did was. What you did. What you did was. I was like that every time you say what I did, I get the death stare over here. Okay. What you did was I was putting, I was putting my, I was, I was putting my socks on like

this on the floor. Like I was on the floor, putting my socks on and then you kind of come from the side and you tip my body over like, like this and you just started like. Okay, so. Munching from sideways. So I was like, like this and then he stops and then I said, I said, I was like, Hey, George. And I was like, Whoa, I feel really bad about this. He goes, you shouldn't collide.

Like, because guess what? I can guarantee you that Bobby cheats on you on the road. He's like, I can prove to you that Bobby has been cheating on you. And then he like continued eating my butt. And I was like, what? I'm so sorry. Number one. Number one.

Okay. You're fucking down on your knees and you're, and you're changing your sock. Yeah. You tip over. I'm not done. I'm not done. Just listen. Okay.

You tip over. Right. Don't eat your butthole. Okay. He tips me. Exactly. Just let me don't interrupt again. Okay.

Sorry. Which means that he tranquilized you with a gun because when you tip somebody, right? You know what I mean? There's struggle. There's no struggle there. So bitch, George fucking tranquilized you, ate your butthole, right? And you're like on your side now going, you mean, George, what the fuck is going on? She can't move.

She can't move. Right. George pink dick goes and it says a lie. He deceives me. He tried to lie to win. Right. And he lies to win. Right.

Fuck you, dude. George, look at me right now. Fuck you, man. So uncomfortable. George, what do you do? I'm going to say right now. I'm going to say right now, dude, everything's interconnected and there's thoughts going on. Right.

And there's some sort of visualization going on, like the secret or some shit, right? And it's seeped into a fucking dream. So if we'll go fuck yourself, you're still working for the show, right? If you ever do that shit again, I swear to fucking go, you're out. If you tip her over. Don't ever tip her and don't even butthole. A tranquilizer. Okay.

Jesus Christ. In Disneyland? At Disneyland. It's a resort. It's a resort hotel. In Florida. Disneyland and Disney World. You're at Disney World.

I hate Disney World. I hate Disney World. Wow. Yeah. Oh, wow. Was that crazy? Let me ask you this. You flew, George, you flew Kohl Island.

George, look at me right now. You flew my girlfriend to Disney World. Why? Well, I flew all of us, obviously. I wasn't in the dream, fucker. I wasn't there either, doc. Yeah. I think we were all there.

So you flew Kohl Island. All right. That's your own thing. That's fine. Interesting. But I'm just saying, dude, you know, your thoughts are very powerful. Don't do that again. Okay.

And she did say George didn't have his normal voice. Yeah. You were very commanding and, you know, I think George, you're like one of the sweetest people I know. You were commanding and you were like. Stop. Stop. Stop.

Stop for a second. Okay. Sorry. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop.

I'm beginning to think that George has nothing to do with it. He didn't visualize it. He's an innocent bystander and he's sitting here going, wow, I'm embarrassed. This shit is subconscious within you, bitch. No, it's not. Yeah. Yeah. There's some sort of fucking.

Oh, there probably is. But the whole butt eating. Yeah. Yeah. And no, and George. So you want George deep down the side. You want George to eat your fucking butthole, bitch. I don't think that's how dreams work.

That's how we do it. It's subconscious. It's like inception. Because I always, always dream. Like I remember having dreams about like my fat swim coach and I like hooking up and I thought it was disgusting and you thought that in your subconscious. And guess what? It happened.

No, I think that it's, it's more of like, um, it's, it's just a, you know, an amalgamation of random subconscious thoughts. I think it's from different things. It's like, I, I, I have, I have feelings about butt eating and then the last person I saw before I slept with George, okay, I'm going to tell you this right now, okay. Throughout the history of my life, all right. And in the future, I will never have a dream where George eats my butt. Do you know why?

Do you know why? I don't know, but this is not even the realm of my thinking, right? There's nowhere in my brain at all where this fuck face is going to even go anywhere near my fucking butt. Does he tip you at any point? No, he doesn't tip me nothing because that's not in my brain, right? This bitch right here, that shit's floating around in her fucking brain and in her dream, she's like grabbing things and pasting it all together.

Like she has an editing system in her brain where she takes different tipping and George butt and all that. Disneyland. Disneyland and puts it all in one dream, like a mishmash of ideas and bitch, that's you. That's on you, man. That's on you. I know now what I do, please forgive me. So that happened.

And you know what's so funny? I would have never known if you didn't bring it up. You're welcome. No, no. Don't pound me, bitch, because I'll tell you why. I'm looking out. No, from now on, this is what happens, okay? She checks you any dream, right?

With this fucking guy in it. Ford right away. Right? You tell me right away. Okay. For my, you know. Yeah. So Gilbert, who's, are you loyal to him or me?

Gilbert, look at me right now, dude. Gilbert, look at me right now. Gilbert, look at us right now, all right? Can I just say, can we just get back on George? Your girlfriend's butt. No, no, no. Look at this. I'm not offended, bro.

I'm not offended either. Who are you loyal to? Kalyla or me? And you can't say both. You can't make me say that. Yeah. Be real. And I'm not going to be offended.

And you're deep in your heart of hearts. Go ahead. Who are you loyal to? I need a scenario. No, no. I need a scenario. I'm not, no offense. I'm not going to take it out on you.

I'm not choosing one. I'm not choosing one. I decline. How dare you. I'm offended by that then. Because it should be me. Oh, you're offended? Are you offended by it?

No. Oh, then I'll choose you because you're not offended. Oh, we have fucking Gilbert. And then you know that's the truth right there. But no. Don't be mad at me. That's the truth. And you know that.

Let's move on. Okay. George. The rich man always wins. I know. And also, can I just say this? All right. Before we move on.

Look at me right now, dude. I said in the beginning of the podcast was true. I really do. I love you, man. You're a good guy. You fucking work hard. Okay. And the first day I met you at maker because I used to be signed with makers studios and

I used to. That's when I met you. And I looked at this guy and went, wow, this guy, I can tell. Right. He's 100% pure. Yeah. Right. If you ever eat Khalilah's butthole at Disney World, you don't even know what I will do

to you. Okay. I will devastate you. Okay. So that's out there. You too. Yeah. Nobody eat her butthole at Disneyland.

That's great. Or Disney World. Yeah. Okay. That's it. You can tip her. Just constantly tip her. Yeah.

You can tip her over. That's fine. Okay. Wow. You feel better, Khalilah? That's out there now? No. Not in the slightest.

Okay. Yeah. Not in the slightest. Anyway, let's move on. Okay. Also, just before I forget, is The Hateful Eight. Really good movie. You see it?

Yeah. Do you like it? Yeah. Yeah. I really liked it. It was so weird. Three hours long, right? Yeah.

But it's really set in one room. It's set in a, like a, like a cabin, you know, it's really weird, you know what I mean? And it's like, yeah, Jennifer Jason Lee is a fucking amazing. Yeah. She's fucking amazing. I fell asleep but. Yeah. She fell asleep.

Yeah. No, not because I didn't think it was good. Just because it was five in the morning. Yeah. I was always wondering when I was watching Jennifer Jason Lee, like, what does she do in the last 20 years when we didn't see her? Because there was a gap where you don't really see her that much, right? What does one do when, like, during that gap?

I guess I'm going to that gap now, so. You just do other things. Yeah. See each other in the room. Yeah. Yeah. I just answered my own questions. It's crazy though how she, she comes back and then she gets nominated for an Oscar.

Yeah. That's just a testament to how talented she is because she was really good in that movie. Or at least the first hour that I saw. Yeah. I like this. I love Tarantino movies. There's really not been one. Except for Jackie Brown was okay.

Mm-hmm. I like Jackie Brown. Yeah. But other than that, I loved every single one of them, you know, and we haven't seen the Revenant yet. Oh, congratulations to Leo too on the Academy. We haven't talked about that Academy Award. Yeah, we have.

Last week. Not the winners though, just the Chris Rock thing. Yeah. Yeah. The winner Leo and and congratulations to that fan because I'm going to say right now. I'm going to say about that. He is working on Scorpion, the television program.

As a what? He's a guest on it. Whoa. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah, he's a, I've just congratulations to you, my friend. You worked really hard.

You sell out everywhere in the country and we've seen your acting skills on your Instagram. And I'm just saying right now. Are we his official PR team? I want to be. I think that he can't be money. I would, you know, I mean, I would totally do it and I want to say you're killing it and my hat's off to you. You're killing it.

Congratulations. Also, he dropped from 170 to 72 pounds and he's been working out. He's been studying. He's been working hard. You've been studying yoga and I've been studying him and I've been watching and me, I got nothing going on. I'm shooting love next week. So that'd be fun.

Season two already. Yeah. All the scripts. We did the third episode table reading. I'm doing that, you know, and I'm excited about it because it's a whole episode revolved around my character. Oh, I'm very excited about that. I said, only one of them in the second season, but this is the only episode I think so.

I mean, they haven't finished this, but like I, I just make an assumption that it is. And I'm pretty excited about it because a lot of Kala Kala in it. You're in it. Well no, because no, but they, you know, they asked me about my relationship and my you know, my, the storyline is a little bit, I think it's probably inspired by our rapport with one another. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's cool. They cast the girl yet? They did. I'm going to meet her tomorrow, I think. Is it tomorrow? Or Wednesday? I don't know what it is either. I try to get any of those.

I try to get all. Don't give it away. Oh yeah. If you say that, then it gives away stuff. You're not supposed to do that. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Round and round.

Round and round. So I have a great article about, have you ever heard, have you guys ever heard of burial pods? Nope. So basically this company, now instead of coffins, they put you in this biodegradable like capsule and they put the dead human body in like a fetal position in a biodegradable capsule and they, which can be then planted underground and then a tree can, or it's like, you can have, you can plant like a seed and then have a tree grow on top of that capsule.

Like now, they're called burial pods. They're really cool looking. So now like, and so the family can take care of the trees, walk with the trees and watch it grow. I don't give, nope. It's not kind of like poetic. It's fucking stupid. How is that stupid?

I'm going to do what Walton to Disney did. What did he do? That makes, freeze my body in a thousand years from now, when you figure out what was wrong with me, unfreeze me and fix my shit. I don't want to be a tree bitch. No, you're not the tree, but you're nourishing a tree to grow. I don't care. Your body right now.

Your body, that's decomposing is allowing for the growth of a tree. Let me ask you this. Can I ask you this question? Am I dead? You're dead as fuck. Well, then that's it. That's it. I don't give a fuck.

You know what? How about this? Well, you think Walt Disney is dead, is not dead as fuck? No, he's not. He's frozen. So before, okay, this is my question. So before his organs actually started to decompose, they were able to, to, to suspend his, um, the decomposition, cryogenize or, um, freeze it in a state that a hundred years

from now could possibly be brought back to life. Yep. Oh, I want that then. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

He's, you know what I mean? He, as soon as he, that he froze him, right? And then when they unfreeze, when they have the technology to do it, it could be from a hundred years from now, whatever, you'll be walking around and it's like he's gonna create new characters. That'd be great. Yeah. Cause the ones he has right now is stale, right?

Making mouths, all that shit. Yeah. He gets some new shit. You know what I mean? Yeah. But like, uh, that's what I would do. This fucking pod bullshit. Who gives a fuck?

I mean, you can do that. And you can have like, instead of like flat cemeteries with, um, gravestones, you can just have a forest. Or what about this? Why don't you, uh, chop my body into little pieces, right? And then, um, bake it in a, as a dumpling, right? Yeah. Like a dumpling, right? And then you go to a koi fish pond and just throw it in there

and see if they eat it. Interesting. Same fucking shit. Who gives a fuck? I'm dead. I want to be, I want to be mounted on a wall. Just like this. Oh yeah.

As a prize. Oh no. You know what I want? Yeah. That's great. What do you want? Half your body. Half.

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I need wings. You know, it's like in Philippino mythology. That's like what we're afraid of, what we're like, made to be afraid of when we're children. And it's, it's, it flies. It's a, it's just has half a body and has wings. I want to be mounted like a manafilacate on someone's wall when I die. I'll never be able to say that my light Manafilacate. Yeah, perfect.

он someone's wall when I die, manafilacate manafilacate man, manafilacate manafilacate manafilacate. Yep. Yeah Perfect. You know what I want here, I'm going, I try on with this. Okay. As soon as I die, I want them to put me in a gigantic jar of formaldehyde.

But before they put me in there though, you got to put me in a tuxedo. All right, I need to be in a tuxedo and a little top hat that doesn't, you know what I mean, that just stays on, right? And just somehow make my face smile, right? And I'm floating in this like formaldehyde jar, right? And then I'm going to have all these buttons, like outside of the fucking jar, there's like a panel with a bunch of buttons, right? And one of them will probably say Gilbert. So if you're still alive, you can press it and I go, hey, Gilbert! Oh, yeah, yeah, like, so I have personalized messages for friends and family. You know what I mean? Yeah, pink dick George, right? If you're still alive and you'll get a little giggle,

because you can still see me. I'm smiling, right? And you know what I mean? What do you think? What happens when you click Klyla? Here, Klyla. Yeah, don't eat George, don't eat her butt! George, don't eat her butt, something like that. Yeah, yeah, no butt, eat George, something. But yeah, I mean, I want to have hundreds of, you know what I mean? This is so thought out. Yeah, because I literally have thought about it. Holy shit. Yeah, where I, yeah, I'm going to have all that. And then they would, I wouldn't decompose right in formaldehyde. No, formaldehyde, no. But then you, I don't get used for formaldehyde. Now, how do I do it? For formaldehydes. Or maybe you can stuff me like what you call it. Taxidermy, yeah. Taxidermy me. And then you can do more

with my body. Like I can do like a, like a hop in the sky, you know, and to click my heels together. Yeah. Like this, mid, you know what I mean? So float me up and then have the buttons. Float him up. That'd be cool. Float me up. Yeah, yeah, float me up. What are buttons? Oh, depress, depress, depress, depress. Yeah, computerized buttons. Or you could do a flat screen thing, maybe like a flat screen. We'll just have like an iPad there. Like machines where you can just push. Yeah, you can just kind of press and you have a glossary. But what if like you thought I was your friend and then you're not on the iPad. Yeah, you're not one of the, yeah, that's supposed to be like you get excited. You come like this and you go under G and there's like a

thousand G's. But there's no Gilbert real scenario. I can't wait to do this. Okay. Where's that? Where's that? Where's that? Where's Bobby didn't put my name? I would put that. You would. Okay, ready? Scorpion, killing it. He's calling back a show. I did 20 years ago. Awesome. Yeah, yeah. Something like that. Yeah, I think that's not a bad idea. Fuck a burial pot. I don't know you want that anymore. And here's another thing. It's like we've been listening to sword and scale on the right back and forth. And I was thinking about this, like if I died, if I was murdered, do you know what I want? What? I want, I want a death where they can't ever solve it. Oh, mystery. I want them to find my hand. Hey, wait, hold on. You might be, you know,

telling people to. No, they're not going to be able to do this. Okay. I want them to put my one of my hands in Brazil, but then like a toe in Germany, like have the part of my body in every part of the world. One part in every continent. Right. They find my head in Alaska. You know what I mean? And my dick in the Philippines. Yeah. And then you would be like, how the fuck did this happen? Yeah. They just find it in a ditch. You know what I mean? Yeah. That's how I want to die. That, well, how does that even happen? I know that's why. Well, how about you? And then like they wouldn't know it. I would be like a mystery. I know, but you could just also die from natural causes and I could just disperse your, you know, body parts all over the world. I can do that for

you. Why would you, why would it have to be like a murder mystery? That's true. But it's cool. Yeah. What about this then? What if they found my dick in Mars? That's bad. Oh, that's a bad ass. Yeah. How'd it get up there? Well, you were in there for five years already. That's right. Five years I was up there. Yeah. I disappeared off the, off the little space thing. Yeah. That'd be cool, huh? Yeah. What do we have time? Perfect again. On helpful advice and questions with Bobby and Kalilah. We should do a better job at the unhelpful advice because we've been slacking. I'm not, I'm, I do 100% a good job. Thoughtful advice, but thoughtful. I want to be thoughtful too. Go ahead, dude. Single pussy or threesome. Dear Bobby, wait, wait. Dear Bobby,

I'm finally getting a place on my own and I'm about to fill, fulfill my childhood dream of getting pussy. Dot, dot, dot. A cat. Aw. I really would like a pair of kitties, but I'm hesitant as I would be a first time owner. How much better is it owning multiple cats opposed to just one? Thanks. June from Google and PS your bit as tank and Matt TV still makes me piss my pants. Okay. Stop. Thank you. And um, I want to say this and this is a fact that you need to really need to, because when I was in San Jose improv or the manager human, he's the manager club group. Probably one of the best managers in comedy history. I love him. The nicest guy in the world. Um, he got one cat. The cat was lonely. He got two. Life was better.

My friend Billy Bonnell, too. He has two cats. I mean, we have three, but the third one was an accident. Ooh. Oh yeah. That's right. Bojo was like a call out of nowhere. And, you know, from a fire station, we had to take it and we nursed it back to life. And that was a gift from God. My point though is that you need to, because you leave that fucking thing is going to be in the house alone. And you know what you can find is brothers or sisters or like a relation, a relate relation. Yeah. They usually keep them in the same actual kennel too. If they're in the same litter and stuff. Okay. If you can go to kennel and get like a brother and sister or two brother, whatever, right? Do it. That's the way to do it. You know what I mean? And that's what you

guys did first? No, but what happened was with Gooner, we picked it up and he had a brother and they were in the same kennel, but some fucking asshole, you know what I mean? Adopted the other one previously. Adopted the first one. Yeah. So we could only get Gooner. And then, you know, what they did was when we picked up Gooner, they go, we're going to say goodbye. Gooner's going to say goodbye to his brother and his brother and Gooner started crying like crazy. Screaming. Because they were being separated. They're being separated. And they did it in front of us. We were like, do that shit when we're not here. The goodbye. Yeah. Bitch. You know what I mean? But they didn't, you know what I mean? But to this person, it's very important to get two. Get two cats.

Yeah. Cats are the best. They really are. Cats are the best. Which is my life. You agree? Two cats. Yeah, because when we first had Ming, Bobby can tell you our first cat was alone for the first year of her life. And she was a lonely girl. Like, it took her forever to get out of her feral state because she didn't have any other pets around her. So when we would, Bobby would go on a road or if we were both gone, you know, she was miserable alone. And then her personality completely changed. And she's completely, a thousand times more lovable now that she has the two boys with her. I didn't know anything about cats. And I remember dating Kalilah and I'm like, I'll take Ming to my house. See what happens. And for 24 hours, I mean, I left water and food in

here, but I just left it in here for 24 hours. He didn't know. In this room? Yeah. In this room, he locked it. And I walked in here like 24 hours later and she's on that table just shaking by herself. Yeah. Oh, is that why she's so shy and skittish? Well, she was, she's, you traumaed your own. No, no, it was this. We picked her up off the street. When they picked her up from the street, right? They left her that thing alone for three months. That's not true. What are you talking about? With Tolstoy. No, when we first got Ming was when Bobby and I first started dating. And I was in and out a lot. And my roommate was in and out a lot too. But we, she was with a dog. She was actually raised with a dog. But when she moved in with Bobby and I, she had no dog anymore.

It was just her by herself. I am not a bad pet owner. How dare you? Anyway, get two. Is there any other ones? Yeah, one more. Hey guys, just listening to the earlier episode where you talk about your trip to the Philippines when Kalilah had a hard episode and was wondering if Bobby would ever go back and visit the Philippines again after that experience. Oh, yeah. Was it traumatic? Oh, man. Oh, yeah. You would go back. No. Oh, of course I would. And we're going to go back next January when her when, when, you know, hopefully we're not what he calls George. It'll be fun. You want to come? Yeah. And we'll tape stuff. Maybe we'll do a short film. We'll do something. You don't think it'd be traumatic for you at all? No, no, I loved it there, man. I mean,

if you saw the two videos that I posted in the first two days, I was there. The first day we were there. I did a little karate thing by a pool and then I did a dance thing in the lobby. It was so much fun. It was a great place. It's impossible not to have fun in the Philippines. The Philippines is just primed for a good time. It's so fun, you know? And the shit rivers, there were only a couple shit rivers I saw. Just a couple, just a couple. You know what I mean? Just two really big shit rivers. What was just just a river flowing with shit? That was Calila's town. Kiss. Plug your dates. Oh, shit. Bobby show. Say something while I look for his dates. Cool. Let's talk about some. Let's have a what do we call baby bellies, tiger belly nation.

First of all, here's here. Thing number one, guys, come up with a name for yourselves. It was baby bellies, but we don't know what it should be. So why don't you call them that? We can. I'm not original enough to come out with sent anything like. But let's have them help us. Let's have them help us. So go on Twitter or probably go on Twitter and just tweet us any like names. This whole community should be called. Right now we're, we have baby bellies, but then we're not taking George as a pink dick. So that's out of the question. George as a pink dick was a hit in San Jose. It were people coming up to me after his shows. I mean, really like kind of shy girls and they would pass by me and they would just whisper and

then walk away and then they would look at me from far like, I wonder if she heard me. How creepy is that? And then I would be like, wait, would you say, and then they would be like, George as a pink dick. I'm like, yeah, he does. So picture. Yes, I guess. Yeah. I mean, Bobby was, he took pictures. So we, we went to dinner with some of the other guys that listened to the podcast, like Arthur and a bunch of them. And it was a good time. It was a really good time. Okay guys, tour dates for Bobby tour dates for Bobby. Bobby is going to be at the Ontario improv March 18th through the 20th March 7th through the 9th. He is going to be doing shows with Harlan Williams, Polly Short, Tom Green.

It's called the comedy party and it's one is in April 7th, Juliette, Illinois. The next is in Rockford, Illinois and April 9th is in, is it called Dubuque, Iowa? Dubuque, I think. Is it Dubuque? Yeah. April 21st to the 23rd. He is doing shows in Texas at Hyenas comedy nightclub. First night will be in Plano, Texas. Second will be in Fort Worth and the third night will be in Dallas, Texas. So he's just doing a one show per city at May 6th through 7th. He is going to be at the Gotham comedy club in New York. That should be a fun one. May 12th through the 14th stand up live in Phoenix, Arizona and June 16th through the 18th. He is going to be in Raleigh, North Carolina at Good Nights comedy club. Are you going to New York? I think so. I want to. I've never been in New York.

You should come with. I think I will. We should all go. I think we should do a road trip. You've never been to New York, Gilbert. Smile. For sure smile. You angry person. I think we should address this. Okay, guys. State of union address. Go ahead. About my smile. Your smile first. Oh, I think that. Okay. So here's my thing with it. And you guys obviously know how anxious I always am. First of all, why is this being prompted? Why are we prompted? This is being prompted because I think that after watching myself on video, I mean, I've always been fine doing these audio podcasts. No problem, right? But I think that because I'm so inexperienced and I'm so unaware of what I look like on camera, I look at myself. I'm like, wow, I look like a raging, angry bitch. And I do. So

Gilbert and George are helping me becoming more smiley. Okay. Give you a scenario. It's just not my natural, my natural state of being is like, I'm always thinking. So I always have this like, you know, it's my, I have a bitch face. Yeah, you do this, right? But I'm smiling on the inside. I'm actually quite happy when I have thoughts and I want to convey thoughts to Bobby or if I get like passionate about a conversation, I always look angry. So I'm trying to soften that a little bit. She's not mad. She's just thinking. Is this good? Yeah, it looks terrifying. But yes, that's good. It's much better. Okay, thank you. I'm trying. Thank you so much. So speaking of that, let's segue to we have vlogs now. Oh, that's right, guys. We just put up our first vlog on our Tiger

Belly channel. And it's a quick short one of Bobby and I going cat food shopping. We're going to be uploading those. We're going to try for every Monday from here on out. And it's going to be, you know, just silly little outings of day in the life. Yeah, basically, it was some weeks, it's going to be just Bobby and I, other weeks, it's going to be the four of us together on our little misadventures as Tiger Belly. So make sure you subscribe and make sure, you know, you write in the comment section and let us know what you want to see. Also, we've already set up a PO box today finally. Yeah. Do we want to put that up? Hold it up and read it out loud for the only audio. So anything you guys want to send us any art, any basically anything you want to send

up just hopefully nothing, you know, too creepy and no explosives would be nice. Yeah. So while we're getting that, let me just explain if you're all also wondering, what are they holding up? We're holding up the PO box address because of the YouTube channel. So if you're listening to this right now, let me just break down the little schedule. Mondays, we have vlogs on the YouTube channel, which is YouTube.com slash Tiger Belly. Then on Wednesday releases the audio podcast, and you can get that on iTunes, Stitcher or all things comedy.com. And then on Friday morning, on the YouTube channel again, comes out the video of the podcast, the full length video podcast on Friday. So that's Monday vlogs, Wednesday audio podcast on iTunes and Friday full length video

vlog on our YouTube channel. So make sure you guys subscribe and yeah, check that out. Yeah, check it out. And also you can find me on Instagram at Calamity K on Twitter at Calamity K as well. You can find Tiger Belly at Tiger Belly on Instagram at the Tiger Belly on Twitter and email us all your questions for unhelpful advice or just any questions in general to the Tiger Belly at gmail.com. And make sure you also follow us on Periscope because we now are periscoping. Or we try. We try. We try. Before podcast, after podcast, you guys can hang out with us then. Yes. And merch is coming. Merch is coming. We promise. And the reason why it's taking a little longer is because we're trying to give you guys a good quality product. We're not just trying to

go to fucking Walmart and just, you know, take a Sharpie and write Tiger Belly on it. What if it is? What if it's so shitty? What if it's so shitty? No, yes, guys, we're taking our time with it. We've taken the time with surprise. Oh, wow. George is wearing a Tiger Bell. That's not our actual Tiger Belly shirt. Just so you guys know. Yeah, that's not. Is that with a stencil? George took a shirt and did a stencil and spray painted it. George, I like the deep V. I might accidentally dream of you eating my butt again tonight. He's freaking out. Look at him. But guys, you know what? George brought up a good point. What a great segue. While our shirts are getting ready, feel free to make your own Tiger Belly. Anything. Anything. Wear it. Take a picture of it and we

will repost it on Twitter and Instagram and put any pictures you take with Bob and Cliley at the shows. Put those up on Twitter. Unless I don't look good and try to add a filter to my face. Thank you. Definitely. Yeah. What's that other thing that squishes it down and make it skinnier? Uh, curves. Auto-tune. Auto-tune. Oh, no. Sorry. Face-tune. Face-tune. I think that's what you do to like smush like your face and make it like contour and stuff. I mean, look at the width of this face, George. Yeah. It needs some contouring. Thank you guys so much for tuning in and we will see you next week. Ciao. Bye. Visit our website at Gilbits on Instagram. Bye. Hey, Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad free on Amazon music.

Download the Amazon music app today, or you can listen ad free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey.