TigerBelly - Episode 49: Tip Toeing

Episode Date: July 13, 2016

Our pal Christine visits us from New York. Bobby offers up his child to MJ. Khalyla prefers full bush. Gilbert mediates urban hour. We talk thigh biting, a rash from Elton John, and a Mexican redhead albino dwarf thug.   Recorded July 11, 2016 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly YouTube.com/tigerbelly Facebook: thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. Welcome to the podcast. Welcome to the fun. Welcome to the... Welcome to Tiger Valley, Bobby Lee, Kalyla, Gilbert, and we have a special guest tonight. Introduce your friend, Kalyla. Our very special guest tonight is my longtime friend from... Forevergo. How long have you known her? She's not Samoan. She's Vietnamese. I always thought you were Samoan.

I just met her. I thought you were Samoan. Like Mark Huntsister. Yeah, like a cousin or something like that. The big thighs we gave away. Yes, it was because now you're thinking about it. Okay, so this is my friend Christine. And she is definitely not Samoan, although I will say... Christine, talk closer to the mic when you talk.

You gotta vocalize. You know, even closer. Like you're a little louder. That's perfect. Swallow it. Deep throat, that fucking mic. Yeah. Okay, so that's another question. That's a good way... Good about the Samoan observation. Okay.

These girls, you and your sister, are very wonderfully curvy. Wide? Yeah. Are there a lot of... No, not wide. Are there a lot of Vietnamese girls that are... I would say thick. Yeah, because she has a big ass. She has thick thighs. Like a thick, thick ass ass. Thick ass ass?

Yeah, it's like chunky and thick. I love it. Double the ass? All right. And your sister's thick ass... Do you mind? Thick, like nice thing. Are you mad at me? All right, well, now I'm gonna tell you. She likes it. Yeah, so...

Aw. But you guys are... What are they? Not Samoan. Vietnamese. You're Vietnamese. Do you guys know a little thing about that fan? Do you guys know him? Do you know that?

Is that a person? Yeah, it's a person. Oh, bless your heart. You should really know who he is. He's a leader in your community. And he is a... Just looking it up. She's a big... He's a big star.

Look him up and confirm this in. Yeah. So you don't know who that fan is? No. Okay. But I love the movies. Platoon, love it. That's very racist now.

Apocalypse now. No, he's saying... He's naming war movies that were based on the Vietnam war. Yeah, Good Morning Vietnam. Great movie. He wasn't at many times. So Christine here is what I like to consider an anomaly of an Asian. I think that's why we've been friends for so long because she blows my mind on a daily basis.

Why? We're both crazy. Well, beyond that, when I first met her, she was the only... I mean, let's be real. Let's not pretend like Asians aren't racist in general. Because we are. We're not. I mean, we're not.

I'm not. I don't think I am in my heart, but generally Asians are fucking racist. And I love how they fucking trivialize their own racism. Koreans are the most racist people on earth. That's not true. All my Korean friends confirm this for me. That's not true. They are.

Well, how racist? I love everybody. You do maybe. No, not maybe, for sure. 100%. Just making a general observation. Even within Asians, we are racist inter-Asian. Throw me a raise.

I'm going to give you a ranking. Okay. One through 10. Let's start with the V-Lemise. This is not a good start. 9 out of 10. Wow. Amazing.

Can I say? These are rolls. When you have like an egg roll, you can see through it. Wow. You know what? Yeah, it's just transparent. Transparency. See if the Vietnamese are transparent.

That's clever shit. Do you even know what that's called? Rolls. A spring roll. A spring roll. Yes. I love it. Yes.

Number two, the movies. Great. The movies are amazing. There's like another race. What? Yeah, give me another reason. People from Thailand. Ties.

And 8.5. Wow. Great people. I know that he got in trouble with the Vietnamese community. Why do you have to bring that up? We have to. We have to be honest with our guests. She is Vietnamese.

Transparent. Transparent like the Vietnamese. Transparency. Yeah, what did I say? So he had to publicly make an apology to the Vietnamese community because he called you guys and he calls Filipinos this too. He calls us all jungle gooks or jungle Asians. Jungle.

Not gooks. Jungle Asians. By saying jungle gooks, you make it worse. They said jungle Asians. But how do you justify that? Well, because you guys live in the fucking jungle. What do you mean? How do I justify it?

We don't live in the jungle. All right. So if I go to Vietnam, is there a jungle there? There is a jungle. There is a jungle in plenty of other countries. There's not a jungle in Korea. What? I'm sure you guys have rainforests.

No, we don't. At all. It's trees. It looks like Denver. You're trying to say Korea is Denver. Yeah. It's Denver, Colorado of Asia. Okay.

So that's number one. All I'm saying, and it's not a racist thing, is that you have a group of Asians who are all equal, but you guys happen to be living in, it's like calling Eskimos snow Asians. That's what they are. Is that offensive? Possibly. Yeah. Possibly.

I could be offended by that. A snow Asian. But what? You could be offended by everything. If your house is made out of fucking snow. Cubes. You're a snow Asian. I mean, but snow isn't offensive.

So I mean, Jungle isn't offensive either. But you know, you right now, her boyfriend is an Indian guy. Do you know what he calls them? Oh man, don't even say it right now. You say this right now. Can we flip it out? Whatever you say.

No. They said it in previous podcasts. It's not a secret, but he has names for all types of Asians. Yeah. But it's not because I'm racist because I'm a comedian. Yeah. Right. And as comedians, we say things that aren't necessarily PC and we do it in jest as a joke,

but I'm not racist. You know why? Because I just did a video with Will I Am's. Wow. Will I Am. Will I Am. Will I Am. Now, if you guys don't know this, my neighbor is a guy named Prince Board.

He produces the black IPs sometimes. Yeah. I mean, he works for really close with Will I Am's. And with Silo Green, right? Yeah. And I went to Will I Am's studio right before this. And I did a video for Black Lives Matters. Okay.

And I had to pull out a little thing, like a little poster, and it has a question mark, you know what I mean? And I had to pretend I was sad, which I am. Super sad. Yeah. And Mary J. Blige is in it. Mary J. Blige. That's what I said.

Okay. Who else is in it? A bunch of other people. And I feel fortunate by being there, for being there. Good. And I really believe that we need to change. A lot of things that are happening in the world is, especially in this country, is backwards and prehistoric, and we need to change all that.

And also FYI, anyone listening, the cop that shot Philandro Castillo was an Asian. He was Filipino, wasn't he? No, he wasn't. Was he really? Yeah. Oh, thank God. Why did you say Asian? Because in the video, if you watch the whole video of his girlfriend talking, she says

she describes the cop as Chinese. So when that happened, Bobby and I looked at each other like, oh, fuck, we done did it now. Yeah, we done did it. Let me say something. Just as a fact, as true information, he was Mexican. Thank God. What a relief.

It's a relief. Yeah. Well, I would have felt really bad if he was Filipino, although I looked at his pictures, Geronimo Yanis, and he did, for a moment, like he did look Filipino to me. I wanted him to be Filipino. You wanted him to be Korean, so I could prove your Korean's racism. Yeah, but it wasn't. First of all, a Korean would never do that.

Okay. There's another. We would never be a cop. A lot of Korean cops. I know a couple of Korean cops, and they're very good. Yeah. They're very... Yeah.

From the movies? No, not in the movies, in real life. They're very good cops. And if you're any kind of cop and you pull over any African American, just know that we're watching. We are watching through video testimony. We are watching with our eyeballs and behave yourself because you're slaughtering a group of people, and what happened in Dallas, crazy, okay?

So that's that. I mean, I'm not... This is a comedy podcast, and I try not to talk about real things, but this is out of control because with Eric Cantor, what happened in Jersey with Trayvon Martin and all these things, it's now... Come on, man. I mean, it's so sad that it's had to come to this, that we had to wait this long. It's 2017 almost, man.

For all this video to come out for us to finally believe that this was happening. Look, if a particular race of people are crying foul for this long, I think we ought to stop and listen. It's not that hard. And people are just so resistant to the idea that bad things could be happening to such a large group of people, but guess what, we're not in their shoes. I mean, how did this even happen with the Philando Castile? Okay, I'm the guy in the car.

I'm Philando. You're the cop. No. Yes. Do I have to role play? Yeah. I want to know how it would happen. It doesn't make any sense.

It doesn't make any sense. That's why it was confusing. I'm going to show you what... I'm going to tell you what happened. He gets pulled over, these two people, because this cop... Tail light. No. Dispatch, too.

Dispatch. What was it then? No, I said there was a dispatch. Yeah. And you go, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you know. So tell me what you... I'm asking.

No, that's not what you did. I just said, yeah. Dispatch. No, you used to... Oh my God. No. This is what you do. You say, yeah, yeah, yeah, as if you know information, but you really don't because you're a fucking

retard. Wow. Jesus, you're so angry. I'm so angry right now. I'm so sorry because I'm sorry if you're retarded. A little emotional. Dispatch. Said.

That basically shows that this guy pulled him over because he said they looked like people who had just committed a robbery. Yeah. With a child in the backseat? With a four-year-old in the back. And... Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

And he said they were wide-nosed. Yeah. Which I don't even know what the fuck that means. That was actually said. Yeah. Yeah. Because let me tell you, have you ever seen her fucking nose? Hey.

It's a little wide. Me, too. It's not wide. I'm wide. Yeah, yours is wide. Mine's kind of wide. Yeah. I have a very Armenian nose.

It's just a wig. Game over. You're very pointy. Pointy. But anyway, so he pulls him over and Philando said, I'll give you my information. But I also, to let you know, I have a card carrying gun over. And then pop, pop, pop, pop. Yeah.

Yeah. And even if it... Crazy. For me, even if it wasn't, let's say, let's give this guy the benefit of the doubt, right? Let's just say that he wasn't, it wasn't racially motivated. Let's say that. I don't think it is. If my, you know, I have family and law enforcement, right?

And they all agree. If this is a guy who, on first instinct of pulling someone over for a broken taillight, at first instinct is to draw his weapon and shoot four times at a man with a child in the back, he should never have gotten into law enforcement. That's exactly what I was going to say. It's just, he doesn't have even the basic level of, you know, self-control to have a regular, you know, stop. For instance, the person who said this, the cop who told me this, he's been a man, a big

black guy snuck behind him with an assault rifle. He didn't shoot his weapon. You know, he was able to de-escalate a situation. He pulled over some gangsters the other day. And as the guy was pulling, as the guy opened his glove compartment, there was a weapon there. He didn't pull out his weapon. You know, he called for backup.

He does. There's protocol for these type of things. His first instinct isn't to draw his, you know, to pull his weapon out and shoot the guy five times. Like, and I think that what he thinks is just, if you're that type of person who hasn't been trained to control yourself in a situation like that, you shouldn't be having a weapon or shouldn't be working for law enforcement, period. Yeah, and I apologize for calling you a retard, excepted.

I feel so bad about it. And I don't feel that way about you. Thank you. You're just ignorant. Thank you. Can we get to knowing who this girl in front of us is? Yeah, but there was a, there was a couple of things that we talked about, like black people dying in this country, but now we can move on to your friend now, sweetie.

And so Christina's Vietnamese, you guys grew up together, no, you guys met in school, right? Yes. What school? Nursing? Yeah, we were both biology majors. What college? Las Vegas? And we were in Long Beach.

Long Beach City. Community college. I went, we still... Community college? Let's want to throw that out there. No, then I ended up transferring to... What? Yeah, community college.

It's a little above DeVry, but not Harvard. Just generic community college. Community college. But she's a doctor now. I know and congratulations, but she did go to community college and I just want to throw that out there. And there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, there's really nothing if you're poor and you didn't do well in high school.

You smoke pot in high school, decided not to study, and then now it's your second chance. I will say this about me and Christine. What was that? We were very, very shitty students, I think. Yes. All the class. I mean, when there was a corner to cut, we cut it. Yes.

Community college. Sometimes even if there wasn't a corner to cut, we made one to cut. Yeah. Right. I wasn't always a good student either, but somehow we managed, you know, now she's a doctor. So you went to medical school. So what happened?

So you went through community college, then you got accepted to where? Pharmacy school. Pharmacy school. What's it called? What is the matter? We're not getting information. Come on. She's...

All right. I just want to know the facts. That's all. It's an accredited pharmacy school. It's accredited. Yes. Like if I Googled the pharmacy school. Yeah.

It'll come up. Yeah. Yeah. Your pharmacy school would be in the top 100. Yeah. It's in New York. Is it in the top 100? Yes.

Okay. Well, then that's all I want to know is information. He likes number. He likes number. So you went to, you went to the pharmacy school. How long did that take you? Four years. Could you get me Vicodin?

That was the... With a legitimate prescription? No, no. Let's just suppose. Let me be real. Be real. All right. I'm sober.

I don't need Vicodin. Okay. But if we were friends and I wasn't sober, I'd say, Hey, Christine, can you get me some Vicodin? Can you get me some? No. Wow. You could...

You had no access to it. You could lose your license for that. I know. What are you trying to do? There's a test. Like, for instance, the doctor who provided prints with that fentanyl. Yeah. He could face charges.

Why? Because he's not prescribing it. I mean, fentanyl is one of those really strong drugs that you give to put patients under anesthesia. It's not even something you start off with if you're in pain. Yeah. You would start off with something lower. Fentanyl is so much stronger than heroin.

But, um, it's fucking prints. Now, would you have written a prescription for prints? If I was a doctor and prints said, Hey, can you get me heroin? I'd be like, you're prints and I'm going to get you fucking heroin. All right. Michael Jackson. He died from what? What's that drug called?

Uh... Propofol. Propofol. Yeah. Propofol. Right? Yeah. I did.

Yeah. I did. Yeah. I did. Yeah. Doctor. Yeah. Can you get me pop-pop-pop-pop?

Right? Doctor's like, is this Michael? Yeah. Yeah. I said, yeah. Coming right up. In fact, I'll hand deliver it. He drives a hundred miles to get to his, uh, never, never lands and rings the doorbell.

Ding-dong. Yeah. Thank you, doctor. You would have been one of those parents that allowed your kid into his, in his bed. It's Michael Jackson. So, you would offer up your child? I Go he he yes

You're Michael Jackson he he You would offer up your son. I don't give a bite him Like he did the other kids. I don't give a fuck bite his the thigh. It's Michael Jackson. You know what you guys No respect for like a list talent The world coming to buy my son's thigh. Yeah, bite it. I'm gonna give a fuck You're Michael Jackson Are you the Michael Jackson recorded thriller and off the wall? Yeah, then yeah

Jesus Christ, I'm sorry, and I'm sorry If you think celebrities always just get a free pass. No, I don't Dustin Diamond no, you said the other day Dustin diamond zero dust and diamond Hey, man. Uh, can you son? No, why? Screech cuz you're Screech You don't get to bite my son's thigh Michael Jackson. Yeah Give me a star. I'll tell you. I'll tell you what star get to buy it gets a bite my fucking back and forth Denzel Washington. Yes Canon yeah, you know

No, I thought about a host on America's talent. No, go ahead. Howie Mandel. Yeah. Oh, right cuz he's a friend Yeah Well, who do you got? Condoleezza rice Yes, there you go for sure. Yes, Angela Merkel. I don't know who that is. No Maybe yes. Yeah, Angela Merkel. How about oh, okay? Um, the Harry Potter lady, J. K. Rowling J. K. Rowling. Yes for sure. Yeah, you're in right a little book. I'm on it, too Yeah, I bet his thigh

Yeah, I think he's son's that would you offer up your kids to a celebrity's bed Christine? No You wouldn't you wouldn't now Bobby would offer his child up to my I wouldn't offer it I mean you guys are fucking Bobby the other day told me that he would let Elton John like butt fuck him as long as the worst thing He would get is like a rash if Elton John I'm not kidding you Literally if I went to Vegas, I saw show and Ellen goes hey, you want to come up to my penthouse? I'd whisper it because I want no one to hear it if I went to the penthouse and there's a probably a grand piano in his penthouse

Of course, I'd have him singing me a little tune And while he's in the tune I'd be that kind of lini gets the piano going. Oh, that's a nice one And then he if he got up and pull his pants out, and he bet me over the piano. I will allow it And he would not inside me I would allow it you cream pie or but yeah, you cream I put my butt, right? Someone please animate this cream on my butt and that would look at him and go You're not gonna tell nobody about this. He goes. Okay. Well, do I have AIDS? No, that's it end of story Oh, wow, just walk away. I'd walk away, and I would giggle all the way down in the elevator from his penthouse And I would like tell everyone I knew

Ellen John fuck me in the ass. Hey, Bob. Would you do this weekend man? Oh, I went to Vegas and I saw Ellen John She'll fuck me in the asshole. Whoa, bro. Did you that proud of it? Yeah, how weird is that? It's first of all. He's 80. Yeah, right. So who knows how he got it up number two I'm not gay Actually pretty crazy story. Yeah, so it's crazy. Yeah, I would let him give it to Covney Tom Hardy thornburg

Tony Thornberg is like a half Swedish half like Japanese model that Bobby stocks Christine you've never had a lesbian experience Well, actually There we go, thank you. She's lying because it was me I Thought it would be awkward. Wait, wait, wait, wait. You had lesbo with the fucking Samoan. No The tan Vietnamese. Yeah, no, we were in Spain one time and then we were at the beach with some like young British boy And we just three weight and that was it

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait Why the details is the British is the British guy the helicopter dude the helicopter. Yeah, he jumps out helicopter helicopter I've heard about helicopter dude. What about helicopter dude? He's got tattoos on his body. He thinks he's James Bond, but he's really a fucking gay, dude Okay, but so he let he fuck both of you. No, we just showered together. We just did things Did he not know probably did you blow did you blow up? No I'll give you the details. So we all got drunk. We went to the beach in Ibiza. We were in Ibiza. We were in Spain

I don't go fuck but anyway, and um Bobby hates these stories, why do you even want to know the details you hate These are factual things. I don't give a fuck go ahead trying to learn because I got stories, too, bitch I got beach stories, too, bitch. You gotta be you got a visa. Yeah. Yeah, no beach ones though And then um, we were we decided to all get in the water naked and then we got out of the water We realized that we had been robbed. Yes deservedly so So yeah, it was like I knew what you were about to do. It's something unholy. Yeah

Possibly they left us nothing on our sandals. Yeah, and we were all we're back. So um, we just got disconnected You got disconnected for a second. Sorry guys. You want to yell at Gilbert for it? Well, no, I don't because I called him a retard earlier and I feel bad about it So that's we're one one now I don't want to finish my story because I think that was God telling us no more don't finish the story Don't finish it because I get I get it. You get it yet sexual intercourse with him without a condom No, it was with a calm. Why would I have sexual intercourse with a stranger without a condom? I like this. I'm not you Bobby. You raw dog hookers all day. I've never worn a condom. I

Know that like I don't even know how it works. I don't even know how my Dynastate intact. I don't even know either after I had sex with you. I know that was a very big risk I was a dumb risk on my part, but you did it. I did it and that's life What are your thoughts on eating ass Christine? Do you do it? Do you have it done to you? I have not done it before ever. You've never eaten any guys ass in your life But I I have had it done to me good girl as you should why haven't you done it? I Don't know the guys asked for it. No I just had a guy that was really like into it. Yeah, and you are you're with a guy who's into getting his ass eaten

Was into eating my ass. Oh And you said what? Yeah, do you wash yourself first or just kind of do a raw dog like that? No, I always wash myself first Every time Yes, it's part of my but some guys really do like the flavor though. Like I've had I've had requests To not wash after the gym. What kind of flavor is it? What is the flavor poop flavor? No, not poop But it's like natural

Human moth like the ice I used to have a guy Prefer me when I was completely dirty Like just sweaty my own like natural. Yeah, I can't do it. I Need to be clean. So if Koala came back from my height. It was like Bobby. I want you to eat my butt right now I just came from a hike you say he would say no, that would do it No, what time I blew him in its streets smell like assholes. I don't even know what fuck he's talking about. Yeah Elton John Yeah, I mean I'm a dirty person

Not always though like you never have like be over anything I think there's just one time you didn't wipe well enough and Like you were just like face fucking me and I was like, wow, I'm getting a different aroma Sorry, I feel bad about it. I'm sorry. He's trying to be a better guy I know but like the courtesy of just not wiping at all because sometimes he does that sometimes he'll just pull his pants up And he just refuses to you know, all right Sorry professional dirty. I'm sorry Now let me say something about shit

That UFC 200 was shit wasn't shit anti-climactic. It was Underwhelming just a main card. Yeah, it was you watch UFC. I missed that one. Yeah, it was boring I'm gonna tell you something that was great The two nights before that The Eddie Alvarez Dos Santos on your fight. Oh, one easy wonderful young Checek the Delia fight Fucking amazing say a couple words on that. That's yeah, so what I'm saying is is that if UFC 200 was The Eddie Alvarez that you can check check one and also I like the Nunez take one

Oh, very good. If that was UFC 200 Sign me up. You're that's a great show, but it's like if John Jones Fails a PDA. What's it called PDA PD PD test and he can't fight then Daniel Cormier I'm sorry. You need the money but step back when again, you know, that we don't need to see this We don't need to see an old Anderson Silva without a training camp to go in and get his ass beaten out You know, I mean, this is a legend. It's awful. It was hard to watch. It's very hard to watch and all the other Unmemorable, yeah terrible

I like the King that was that was okay. Yeah, it was good one to Huchoi Superboy. Oh Korean Yeah, but that wasn't that wasn't that night. That wasn't that night. It was it was the good Delia did young Checek for night Oh, you're talking about tough finale. Yeah. Yeah, that main event thing. Yeah, the three days I guess collectively yes good, but the main of the two that Saturday night fight card was Terrible. Yeah, it was boring. It wasn't worth the money and I love the sport. I'll keep watching the sport That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying is is that Think it through a bit. Yeah, Dana White your meta Conor McGregor for not doing press and not doing all that put them on the ticket Because that's people would want to see Nick Diaz McGregor to Nate Diaz, too

Okay, put that on Put the good Delia Jin Checek because of the rivalry RDA. Yeah, put some fucking good fights on Josie Aldo kick Frankie Edgar's ass. I like that. That was fun You know, but other than that it wasn't worth the money. That's fine. What am I? It's you know, it's fights. You can't Predict predict, you know, so but that's my thoughts on it. You know, I um, you guys are gonna hate me right now But I really need to go pee. Go go pee. We'll keep going. Okay. Yeah, keep going while I'm gone go pee Do you have any crazy stories about Kalala while she's no what she's peeing I have to say something. Oh, well, okay. Oh my god We're just gonna sit here. Kalala. Let's go pee. Don't worry about it. We're still friends, right? Robbie. Yeah

I have to watch a fucking movie and give her massages. Okay, and the massages are it's not fair What is how long do the massages have to be? She goes that's not done I go and let me say something right now. Okay when I'm playing video game I have a six five six guys waiting for me in space. Yeah, okay. She's like another ten minutes on this thigh The way fuck bitch We have to fight fucking Ali there's a war going on bitch and

Then I got a fucking massage more fucking legs. Yeah, it's big those tall legs, right? I don't watch. I mean what I did I go. Let's watch a movie tomorrow night last night, right? I try to pick the most boring movie so she could fall asleep So I'm laying next to her and like it's just a bunch of white people talking about like science and She's riveted by it. I'm like, oh fuck. Oh, so you didn't work backfire right backfire and then afterwards No, no, no, yeah, I didn't get my massage yet. Oh Fuck so now I can't start I started playing at three in the morning when I should have been still playing at noon midnight. Yeah She's coming back. She's coming back. Anyway, John Jones. John Jones. What an athlete. He shouldn't be taking

Yeah, yeah, I like your santa pedis by the way, it's wrong. What did they tell you Christine? They told me nothing. Are you threatening her? No. No. Only in the nicest ways. Hey, we're gonna stop talking about UFC. We're gonna stop talking about ourselves We're gonna start talking about Our guests for a few seconds. Yes, please. I wanna know more. Ask away. Ask away. I know everything about this girl. I don't know what to ask. She's interesting. She's interesting because Because? Because why? Why the fuck is this girl in our podcast right now. Look, we talk about... I came in here. She kept deep-throating the mic. I don't know what she was saying. She's deep-throating the mic. It's a very specific talent that not everybody can do. She's ruining that chair because of the weight of her ass She's confusing us by pretending to be Simone. I've always liked you, Christine. I really have. I really like you. You know what? You're being very quiet and shy right now, which is totally opposite of how you are when the mics are not on. You described her differently to me. Well, when you met her, how was she? Oh, very much. She's funny, rambunctious. Yeah. Everyone kind of gets a little bit shy. That's natural. Yeah, it's normal. I'll tell you why. Because she's editing. She's editing. And it's okay. You have a job to do. No, it's not okay. Then grill her. Well, she won't tell me about where she went to college. That's a big one. That's a big one to me. No, it's specific. Okay, here. The reason I thought that she was a good match for the podcast is because we talk about race often here.

Yeah. But she's been PC about it. She won't be PC in a second. Not if you grill her. Just push her down. Oh, sweet. I don't even know how to start. Like, well, you have to start. For example, the reason I always found her interesting is because she was number one, she's a, she's a Vietnamese girl, right? I love it. Yeah. But all the men that she's dated have always been outside her race. She's always dated black guys. There we go. Indian. There we are. Just about every other color in the rainbow. I've had a Vietnamese guy. Filipino. Filipino. Yeah. Why haven't you dated a Vietnamese girl? I have dated a Vietnamese guy. He was just in fucking nuts. But you sucked his dick? Possibly. No, no. See, that's what I'm saying. Yes. There we go. There we go. Now we're starting. Let's start here. We don't do possibly maybe. We say yes or no. Yes. Okay. Did you suck his dick? Yes. Okay. What did it taste like? Like any normal penis. I don't think so. What do you think it tasted like? I don't think so. Bobby knows about Vietnamese. I think there's a little bit of mint flavor in there. They love mint. They love mint. Fish sucks. So that's number one. You know that's what they taste like. Yeah, a little lemongrass. Okay. Maybe. Curry. This cup of care is straight. He had no pupa care. I don't like that. I love it. Sometimes guys do that. It makes it look a little bit bigger. Why? Number one, I already know you're insecure and you're cheating because you want your dick to look bigger.

So that's why you shave that shit down. It's not for my comfort because guess what? When it grows back, it's just me. It burns. Yeah, it burns. I've been shaving since I was a kid and it doesn't burn anymore. It doesn't burn you. It burns me when this double goes against you. That's what I'm talking about. My own. Oh shit. I read that wrong. I'm foolish. I don't burn anymore. I don't give a fuck when you burn. Yeah. Yeah, it's just think about it as like just the scruff on a man's feet. So what are you talking about? She's dated a Vietnamese guy. My favorite race. Or does it even? You know, I don't have a favorite. I just. It was the most delicious. It doesn't go. No, try to get her to say something. It would have to be Indian. I have a thing for the brown skin and the scruff. Now, is that something that only happened when you moved to New York? I think so because. Yes. Hi. Say that again. I want to hear you correctly. Say it again. Which part? The Indian, the flavor, all that. You like that? I like the brown skin. I love the scruff. Looks good. It's good. Yeah, but the Indian men here in LA are very different than the Indian men in New York. I didn't date Indian men on the West Coast when I was living on the West Coast. When I moved east to New York City, they were, I feel, more open minded. Can we explain the difference? Yes, that's true.

There was something. They had more swag about them. It was New York City water. I'm in love with that Indian guy and nurse Jackie. He's like this tall, super, super hot Indian guy. But you're right about the LA Indians. They're a little more stuck up. They don't outside there. How does that work? Okay, so you're dating an Indian guy now. You've been dating him for a couple of years. Is his family inclusive? Are they happy? Or do they care that he's dating outside of his race? I think in the beginning they were a little bit resistant. I'm not Indian. I think they love me now, but I'm pretty sure in the beginning they were hoping that I did. So his family's actually from Guyana. They're Guyanes Indian. So they have more of a Caribbean accent than they do in Indian accent. What about your family? What about your dad and mom? What are their thoughts about you dating outside of your race? Do they want you to be with a Vietnamese guy? You know, I always grew up thinking that that's what they wanted. Someone that was Vietnamese, Republican, military, conservative, all that stuff. And that was the one Vietnamese guy that I dated and never ever again. So crazy. But when I tried to actually walk my dad through it, and yeah, I'm dating someone who's like, you know what, you're about to finish school, never been to prison, never been pregnant, never been arrested, whoever it is you choose to be with as long as they love you, it's fine. You couldn't have told me this at 16. I was in fear of my life to bring anybody home. It was funny. Immigrant parents, they changed through time. My parents were like, if you don't date, you know, or marry a Korean, don't ever bring them home.

That's the general feeling I got from my dad. But in the 20s, they're like, I'm so glad you're not gay. How did they react when you brought your first wife? Oh, they were like happy. They literally thought they were just happy because I tell them like, I told them about how I've had gay experiences and it just boggles their mind. How do you say I suck my friend Gary's penis? You told your parents? Why are you telling me? I don't want to tell them everything. I told them about the machete and the thing. I tell them everything. But over the time, they just are number one, they're happy that I have a path like you.

You went to a pharmacy school and you have a direction. And so they also know your heart and they know that you're probably a really good person. Probably. No, they do. They love you. So they changed. But before they were conservative. They still are. Why are Vietnamese people in general a Republican? And why is that? I don't know. I think it's just a lot of the principles, the values that they have. You work hard, you don't take handouts from the government. Whatever it is you have, you work hard for it. I think it's just generally like that. Does it have anything to do with a sentiment during the Vietnam War? I'm not trying to speak for all Vietnamese people, but I just think that when you're fleeing, at least from the South, that type of communist, socialist government that's corrupt,

you're not going to look at Bernie Sanders and be like, yeah man, let's bring socialism to America when we ran away from it in Vietnam. I just don't think it's going to happen. So they didn't vote for Obama? No. I didn't Christie herself. Is that what you're saying? She's having a crisis herself. Did you vote for Obama? No.

No, she's a Republican. You are? Yes. She just set Vietnamese. No, no, no. Wait, I thought her parents were. No, she's a Republican. Oh, no. Here we go. Bobby just body rolled. He's got excited.

I'm going to say something to you right now. Why? I was actually having a conversation with Kalayla in the bathroom earlier. Interesting. And I was having a little bit of an identity crisis because I told her that I was, I was talking, one of my roommates is really, really like pro Hillary pro. So I was having a conversation with him about different things and he was like, Christine, I think you're a Democrat. Oh, hey, don't you fucking talk like that. Yeah, she really thinks that. So I think I was more against what like super left wing people stood for like that whole.

If you don't agree with me, you're racist. If you don't agree with me. Yeah, the liberals are very like oppressive like that. You can't speak your mind. It's politically incorrect. Okay, give me an example of something that an ultra liberal person would say that you would be offended by or that would be offended about what you said. Okay, like, let's say like free health care for everyone. Okay.

I believe that, you know, whatever it is that you, you earn. Yeah. Excuse me. You should be able to pay for your own health care. I don't want to pay for your health care. I don't think that I my income that I worked hard that I should be supplementing anyone else's health care or anything else for them. Okay. Well, I want to say this is that some people were not born in the situation that we've been born in.

And I would like to you can have some of my money because I want to help you because I've been blessed and I have a career that's amazing. And I have, I've had, you know, my parents took me to museums and shit. I mean, I was a drug addict and I was a fucked up kid, but I had a really good upbringing. And I was born into an upper middle class home and I'm grateful for that. But it's like, I believe that some people are not born in those kind of situations. They're born to a single mother. Maybe they're born into extreme poverty and they don't have the opportunities that I had. And it's like, all right, you can't afford medicine.

You can take some of my money and we'll get your medicine. I believe that every citizen in this country should get free head of health care. No, no, no. And I agree that we lost billions of dollars into the Iraq war. Where did that money go? Right, right. No, and I agree with you. But it's it's that's your upbringing for me.

Yeah, we didn't have everything either. My parents came here as refugees with nothing but the clothes on their back. But they were able to pick themselves up on their own. That's true. We weren't on welfare. We didn't get government assistance. But did you have, did you have both parents? I did have both parents.

Okay, you're lucky then. But my, my dad was the only one working. That's fine. You're lucky though. Because some people, some people are born into their mother being a crack addict. The father's not around. And then the mother has three kids and this, these kids are fucked. What are you going to do about them?

See, I think liberalism, right? See, you know what? Here's my problem with conservatism is that it's a selfish party. It's not utilitarian. Like it's, you're not looking out for the better. It's, it's, you're, you're looking out for yourself. Self versus the collective. But there's nothing, I mean, I've been friends with you for over, for, for a decade now.

And she is all her beliefs are completely opposite of mine, including religion. Like you believe in God, you go to church, you're a Republican. Our thoughts, our beliefs have always been so stark and very, very opposite of one another. But we've been able to stay extremely close. And I think that's a perfect example of how it doesn't always have to get in the way of, you know. Did I get too serious there? A little bit. I did?

Yeah. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, you don't have to apologize. No, I just, you know, I, I really, I want to understand. I really do. I know I really want to understand. But what is your stance on other things like gay marriage?

Oh, I'm pro gay marriage abortions. Yeah, but my body, my right. Okay, then you're not, you're not actually fall more in the center. I probably am not Republican anymore, but I'm in denial. I don't know why it's just one of those things, you know, when you just kind of have an identity. Maybe you're a libertarian like George. George. George is a libertarian.

Yeah. He's a libertarian. He's neither, he's neither here nor there. I just, I don't know, man. Maybe I'm wrong. I don't know. Maybe we're all wrong. We can't seem to get anything right. No, I mean, what I'm saying is that I just want, you know, freedom is freedom, right?

But it's like, so like, in terms of the social issues that Republicans have, I can't get on board with that. No. All the social issues I'm completely liberal on. Okay. Yeah. But I know what you mean, though, about just the super left wing liberals are a little bit much to take. It's like, you know, the super, the super liberals are the ones that don't allow you to do your comedy.

Those are the ones that are going to complain about, you know, you perpetuating rape culture and writing a letter to the board of the college. No, I don't know. Yes. Those believe it or not, Bobby, liberals are actually the ones who are the PC brigade. Nope. Yes. What?

Yeah. Who is it then? Yeah, who is it? Fuck him out. Is that a Republican in the PC brigade? Holy shit. Wow. Wow, baby.

Wow, baby. Wow, baby. Look, it's crazy. I'm going to say this, George. Just prick the balloon. I know, but George, I'm going to say this, George. Okay. He's a boat.

You went crazy and that's fine. I love you. George, that was too much. I've never seen a white man's face turn that red before. It was so red. Yeah. It was a chair. It was a chair.

It was a chair. It was a chair. Yeah. I did this thing called the NACA conference. What it is is that colleges… Oh, yeah, I've been to that. They have… Yeah.

So, I did one in Idaho. They're always an aware, smart person. Oh, God, Idaho. Idaho. And I went up on stage and the liberal schools stayed for my show and all the conservative schools left the room. They did. Yeah, they were.

Mormon schools got up from their chairs left the place right and the hippie schools the liberal ones Are more tolerant and they listen to every single one of my jokes Yes, some of them would come up and go. I think it's a little too much But the fucking conservative schools they won't even listen What a fuck they get up from their chairs and they leave what the fuck are you guys talking about? But those aren't the people who are going to go on the internet or write a fucking letter of complaint and talking about how What you said wasn't pc they might not stay for it. No, but they're not the ones who are actually conservative ones that are Fucking writing those. What are you talking about? You don't spend enough time on the internet. I think I mean, which is probably a good thing

Which is probably a good thing, but I think you have it wrong there. I don't have it. I think there are I think the pc brigade comes from the ultra liberals I think it it's the fact that everything you say it's not They want to create this Unrealistic safe place for people where comedy can no longer exist because you can't talk about people with Down syndrome You can't talk about rape. You can't talk about women. I just got I just I just had an epiphany I had an epiphany just now What is it on both sides?

You have groups of people on both sides that have these things And it's not about republican or liberal against conservatism It's just people that are extremists Not extremists even people that are just either open-minded or they're not Okay, so it's not because let me tell you something right now If I played anywhere in the south in the bible belt and I did my act Right, those are the cities. I don't play Because those are the cities where they don't come out for me

They walk out during my show, right and they complain to the fucking, you know comedy club that he's too dirty Okay, it's the places like portland, seattle San Francisco these kind of liberal places new york where they allow me to do my act And I sell most the most tickets there so to me my life experience is is that These blue states and these cities that have my people in it are the ones that support me I don't play red states because they hate me. I know they don't come out They're very conservative and they don't like me

So I'm talking through experience Yeah, but remember conservatism because if your if your theory is right I should be selling out in arkansas But remember conservatism doesn't it doesn't always reflect someone's morals or what it's conservatism is more um With money with it. It doesn't have to do with someone's are you economically? Okay, economically small government and oh god trickle down economics or whatever. I might be able to leave any lean toward that Okay, but because the republicans have these stupid social issues. I cannot join them

You're still welcome in our household though christian. Of course. Yeah, you are this is get too crazy. Yeah, a little bit. I'm sorry. I got angry talking about anything just like political because we're all at the end of the day Bobby you and I are number one not informed enough and we're pretty fucking stupid Like we can sit here and talk in circles We are we're we're apart. We we're fucking retarded sweetie. Would you guys know what you're good at? Unhelpful advice. We are we might be good at that. I feel like is it is a time this was a weird podcast I feel like we didn't we didn't Um, okay, but go ahead. No, I don't know. No, what this is my favorite one. I've done

Why? This is really is the fight most favorite one I've done. It's the most simons. We've had in a room. No, it's not that It's I just the whole the whole vibe of it. Yeah, I really love the whole vibe of it What's the vibe of it the vibe of it is we went in and out around and I think the reason why I'm confrontational the reason why I'm saying the things that I'm saying it's because it's been a tough A couple weeks for our country in general. We had Orlando. We have this these Dallas Dallas these situations that are happening and you can see it in the little tense little tense And the clubs too. Yeah, and yeah at the comedy clubs. It's fucking weird

People come out and they're angry and there's a vibe And it's it's seeping into this podcast. I'm to blame. I'm sorry But I have a lot of emotions and I just I just think that It is what it is. We did this part this specific episode. It got a little, you know, Tasty, but it's fine. Yeah, okay. Give me the unhelpful advice Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalala and a Samoan This is from Dennis

Just need your input been married 19 years and my wife and I have always been interested in bringing other people into their relationship I'm a voyeur. My wife has been with a couple women. Hang on. He's a voyeur. Yeah, he says yeah He's a voyeur. My wife has been with a couple women while we've been married and another guy a few weeks ago for the first time I was a little jealous about Two minutes, but it was more of a turn-on than anything. We've been having more sex ever since We're interested in having three sins with other guys and girls once in a while. What do you guys think? After 19 years, you do whatever the fuck you do to keep your marriage afloat. If that's going to spark the fire in your relationship I I think that's great. I don't I don't see anything

I have no judgments against what people decide to do to keep the the flames alive You know, I don't I think it's great. I think it sounds fun I mean, I I hope that 19 years into a marriage I can look at my partnering partnering the eye and be like, let's let's shake shit up a little bit. Let's get things You know, let's make things a little bit more exciting. Like I don't want to you know 20 years with the same dick. Please give me a new one Nope I was waiting for it. I was waiting for that. I think the wife. She's in an ideal situation. Nope

Yes, would you in uh 20 years with your partner? I would hope I would hope so I would watch would you watch him have sex with another woman tea. Yeah, I would after 19 years Yes, why not because it gives you that sense a little bit of jealousy just enough to yeah. Yeah Hulk Hogan did it. That's how he got um, he got to bankrupt that one. Um What was it? Gawker. Yeah, they had they paid him that huge settlement because um, he he was fucking a friend's wife And they got the videotape of him fucking a friend's wife But the friend allowed it and people are just boyers. What do you think baby? You're not into My parent my parent my my my my my dad

He's never had sex with anybody except for my mom. Oh and my mom too. They're the first they met each other For 45 years 50 years. They've been together They probably haven't had sex in a while and um Sex is Not that important to me. Oh god, that's depressing. It's not depressing. It is important But I'm saying I know but what I'm saying is is that the foundation Of the relationship

shouldn't be sex Of course not It's not like my mom The foundation is Trust right Yes, and you pick somebody that you can breed with that you know that oh god breeding that sounds so just All right, it's still romantic. Hey, it's romantic still in some countries breeding right and you can create an empire with Just so you're fucking a wildo to create an empire. All right. I'm not interested of like

tacking ants All right and ripping pussy up I'm not into that right Yeah Bend over. Let me have that fucking junkety junk junk. Oh, whatever they say the kids Exactly I want to I don't know. I want to build a house on a foundation And I want to build it a motherfucker empire dog. Why are you talking like Terrence Howard? That's what I'm saying. All right

That's what I'm into. All right, and you better respect it. Oh, babe. All right. You'd be in a dig at Babe, I don't like it when you talk like that. I'm sorry. I love I'm lighting it up now dog Oh, yeah, because you know, he's trying but it's not coming out right. It comes out, right You know why I know it comes out, right? Why because and you know what you make fun of me because you don't think I can go urban. Oh god, please Wait, what do you think you make fun of him? The sheer fact that he said go urban is like highly distressing for me Please I'm gonna turn the mic off. No, no, no, no, no, turn it off. Keep your fucking cameras on

My friends from long beach are here. Don't embarrass me. He does this Yo, dog BLM dog, you know, be on black lives matter Oh god, why do you sound like a country? You sound like a white southerner now You know how I know my shit's legit. Why you know how a no-dog Hey dog, we're at that net flock. We're at the netflix rap party for love. Yeah. Yeah, and you she was there Yeah, yeah an executive from netflix walked up to me and she goes You did a pilot

To listen With kevin brendan kneel brother your own horn hour. Just say kneel and you played a hip-hop star. That was my role You played hip-hop. Yeah, I was I played a guy who You know kevin brendan's brother in the show is an a and r guy and i'm his first client So I come over the house and all my dialogue is like that I crushed it, bro Wow, you're head set your arm Head set your arm

I fucking crushed it, bro. Okay, is is going urban hour over? Going urban with bobby Look at that made me so nervous Oh my god, she's so sweaty codes and yeah, she's so sweaty There are certain things he does that make me cringe and that going urban is one of them What if he went with you know, what if he was talking like that in long beach? It would make me uncomfortable Please do it. It would make me uncomfortable because he just lives in this Oh god

But he does his going urban is what what white guys Did in like the late 90s kind of going urban like it's not even It just makes my armpits sweat. It distresses me. It's real. I went full stigmata. It's real And it's real And you're afraid of the realness woman. No, there's a reason why the realness. I might not like me a pound, bro That's right dog from the white sky in the room That she just got real cuz I'll raise the roof right now

Guess what who let the dogs out Wait, that's bomb I know you guys did so embarrassing Who let the dogs let the dogs out, right? Oh god to the left to the left all that shit. All right. It's over guys It's a great podcast any shows for bobby I don't fucking know. No, fuck it. No shows or urban show. He's gonna be in sacramento Two weeks from now and after that he's gonna be at in uh helium in philadelphia. No, don't kiss me. Kiss kiss kiss

Oh, god That was sick. Now. Oh Thanks for listening to talk about Oh My pussy just dried up like a saiyan desert And um, thank christine For more of that urban talk you could follow us on instagram at tiger belly And on twitter for more urban tweets at the tiger belly

And if you have urban questions you can email us at the tiger belly at gene. Oh, he's back at gmail.com Hey, man, can you tell us about your shelves coming up? today, uh Been sacramento day I can't even understand you anymore. I don't know. You're just like vows. Oh, I owe you You long turn the gene she's like let's die right now. She's so embarrassed. Wow. I've never seen you so embarrassed before You get to have sex with us afterwards Yeah, my heart

Well, I don't look castile. It's my heart, man. How would you feel if bobby did a role play like that? It would not let him enter me Maybe okay, I'm okay. I will recover one way or the other You guys, uh, also we have our stickers have been mailed out most of them not international yet Yeah, we're working on that but uh stickers should be coming within next two weeks or whatever us postal wants to do that Uh, if you haven't listened to our tiger belly, uh mix tape yet If you want to share that with your friends have never heard of tiger belly you can go to band cap and search the tiger belly Uh, do you have social media we can follow you on christine?

If possibly are you are you open to it? You don't have to you don't have to plug anything. You're here as a friend. So yeah I am anti social media. Yeah, social security Yeah, don't got one of those either Damn girl you just It was so stupid. It was like 10 minutes of urban urban in quotations. Yeah, like my my my jaws get stiff Yeah, you're really nervous dude. She's so uncomfortable. It's hilarious Uh, you can follow klila on all social media at or don't at calamity k Uh, you can follow christine at gilbets and also follow george at george kimmel or at voted best tweets

And russell our other cameraman What is your twitter or We didn't have anything He produces reality tv shows. He's too cool All right guys, that's our show. Thank you guys for listening and we will see you next week. Thank you christine for Coming on Hey Prime members, you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music download the amazon music app today

Or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey