TigerBelly - Episode 52: God's Toe

Episode Date: August 3, 2016

Bobby is grateful. Khalyla is grateful. Gilbert is grateful. Georgie is grateful. Just kidding, we're not grateful. We're still sad and we talk a little bit about cults and Jesus.   Recorded August 1, 2016 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly YouTube.com/tigerbelly Facebook: thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. I am ready. Sorry my bad. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Hey, hey. Hey, hey. Welcome to Tiger Belly. We got me. And we got me. And we got Gilbert. We got Kalyla. And we got George here. And we have no guests today. We don't need guests. Wow. And I want to start off by saying that I'm enormously grateful for all three of you. Enormously. And I don't think that we do. I don't think we've ever had a gratitude show where we've looked at each other in the eyes and said all of our, you know, our love and why we appreciate each other and all those things.

And I think that it's needed because I felt tension before we started this fucking podcast. And I really think that we should have a gratitude. Seance. Seance. Was that a thing? So Gilbert, you look at me right now and tell me what you're grateful for me about. Just tell me how wonderful I am. Okay. I'm going to start. So, Bobby Lee.

Yeah. I would like to say I'm so grateful for the opportunity to be here. And I'm going to say this real talk. I've learned a lot from just literally sitting down here. Yeah. And your stories of how not to do certain things. Mm-hmm. Such as. Such as what?

Don't go to Tijuana. Don't do drugs. Don't take a shit in a producer's office. Just be a good person. Mm-hmm. Be yourself. Mm-hmm. Kalilah. I want to hear this. I am grateful for meeting you at Priscilla's Coffee in Burbank, California. First, I didn't know. Jen, I was like, here's my friend. I'm like, oh, here we go again.

What do you mean? What the fuck is here we go again mean? What did I look like? She introduced me to so many people. I'm like, I'm not going to talk to them ever. But I was dressed. I was in wearing pajamas. You were wearing pajamas. Coffee shop. And then right when I met you, I shook your hand. And I was like, let's see if she can play along. I blessed you. Yeah.

And you laughed. I was like, cool. We're good. He did a monopole. Monopole. Monopole. Go ahead, George. I'd like to say why I appreciate George. George. I'm grateful for being able to wake up with a smile on my face. Whoa, I was trying to...

No, you were supposed to give him that. I was trying to... Gilbert to George. You're not saying you're turning at George. Hey, man. What the hell, George? We'll get you on the mic when it's your turn. Oh, excuse me. George, I'm so grateful that you're now here because I didn't know what the fuck I was doing for the first half of this year. And you've taught me a lot.

Thanks, man. And now it's Khalil's turn to everybody. I'd like to skip over Bobby. If I can, if I can. That's fine. That's your right. It's a gratitude portion, though. Well, I'm grateful for practicing restraint right now.

I'm grateful that I have the ability to hold myself back from punching him in the nutsack. That's what I'm grateful for. I'm curious why. Are you? Are you curious? Let's go around first with the positivity that I get to the why. I'm grateful that you guys are like my human emotional support. It's really weird to say, but I've been a hermit for the past two years and you guys have really been sort of my backbone in more ways than one. And as for Bobby, like I said earlier, you know, you really teach me how to be a very, very, very patient person.

Wow. Very patient. You teach me patience. You teach me how to, you teach me what it feels like when somebody really hits my buttons every fucking day of my life. Yep. So thank you. Thank you. You're welcome.

Go ahead. George, would you like to get over here? To George now. Baby, do you go to George? Oh, I already said to both of them. Oh, you did? I addressed the both of them. So George is your turn.

Papa wants to speak last. God damn it. Is this a Thanksgiving episode? No, I just wanted to do this. I think it's needed every once in a while. Guys, thank you for being my LA family. It means a lot to me. You're welcome, George.

So much better. And thank you, Kalayla, for coming to my party. It really means a lot. You're very welcome. Okay. Thank you. And thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. All right, Bobby, your turn. I want to thank Gilbert for the first. First of all, I want to thank Gilbert. Gilbert, I think you remind me of me when I was your age. And I think you're naturally gifted, intrinsically funny. I think you have a really good heart. And you're a good guy.

You really are. And I know that you are. I think that, you know, I could trust you with anything. And I'm really blessed and grateful for that. And George. Thank you, Bobby. I look at you and I go, man, I'm just lucky to even know you because you're so proactive and so bright, brilliant.

And you know exactly where you want to take this podcast and you quit your job at Maker and you dedicated your life to this cause. I mean, in terms of your career and stuff. And I think you also, you're a very good person. And I trust you to it immensely, you know. And sweetie, you're the love of my life. Oh, damn it. Now I'm guilty.

I feel guilty. No, but you're the love of my life. I look at you in the morning and I literally, like the other night you were leaving. You kissed me. Remember I was sleeping and I giggled. The reason why I was giggled is because I was so happy. I'm just happy to know you and I just, I'm blessed when I look at you every day. I'm blessed.

Why are you playing games? I'm not playing games. I'm gonna say this. I'm team Bobby right now. Why are you playing games, motherfucker? I'm not playing games. You hated me 30 minutes ago. I never did.

I never did. Can I tell you why we got into a fight 30 minutes ago? No, we never got into a fight. We never got into a fight. I love you. I'm not done yet. He's not done. He's gone.

When I hang out with your family, it almost feels, I'm not even kidding you. Like my family, like I've known them for the rest of my life, all my life. And I trust your sister and your mother and Roger and I just feel really comfortable being around them. And I've never said that toward any of my girlfriends family. I always felt mistrust or weirdness, but I just feel like I can really be myself in front of them. I just love all you guys.

Thank you so much. And I just don't want to say this to I'm really hurt that when you guys talked about me, you guys just really just kind of threw me on the bus. Fine. What? Yeah. I mean, it wasn't as good, but that's fine. But my love for you is deeper, I guess.

And I have a bigger heart than I guess. I just really betrayed, but that's fine because it's all about gratitude anyway. You know, so I love you guys. And even though the even though the feelings aren't mutual. And that's why I went last. I want to see where you guys were at. And that's where I'm at. So wow.

Yeah. Wow. Wow is. Wow is the appropriate thing. I'll tell you why. Fuck face. I'll tell you why. Because the other day I went to Venmo and I sent you a fucking hundred bucks for no fucking

reason. Say your message. He also didn't ask for money. You just gave it to me. I know I gave it to me. You know what? Out of love. You I would never get that from you.

You fuck. You would never get that from me. Because I don't have money to give you a booking dot com. I don't know what your fucking motive is, right, but you have an ulterior motive and what the fuck. I'm on to you Frank. I want to be a grand. Bitch the shit I've done, bitch, anyway, but anyway, that was the gratitude.

I like that. All right. That was good. It was good. We were at a restaurant. All right. If you want to start, let's start. I mean if you want to start, let's start.

And then okay, I'll tell the story. I'll tell the story. I'll tell the story. I'll tell the story. You can you can chime in. Oh my God. I'll tell my side. You can tell your side.

Okay. What happened? at me tell me what happened today you tell me what happened today I want to hear this all right I did that movie from Lionsgate that then the director was a Korean dude named Danny Lee okay and he and him and I want to do other things together so he texted me today saying hey let's get together Friday I didn't return his phone call but I didn't want to where it's text okay so then Claude and I we go to the Terry's Mexican food restaurant delicious delicious it's on

Melrose if you like Mexican food that's where to go okay and I see Danny there I didn't text him right the chances the director and the odds right so I panic right and I go up to Danny I go hey my girlfriend's here I want I want you to meet her just so I could just you know I mean good vibes right there's good vibes are away I go outside I look at Kailah and she I go come on God say hi to Danny she goes no cuz I had the dog yeah I go pick up the dog go in say hi and then leave dogs aren't allowed in that it doesn't matter in this situation right in this situation you should pick up the dog go in there first of all number one

okay that placed Harry's the dude there knows me I tip him so well that's fine you act as if I've ever been impolite to anybody that you've ever introduced me to in this entire relationship I've only been utmost respectful I've always been polite I've always been really really presentable to anybody you've ever introduced to me I always go out of my way to make conversation so for you to think that that was intentional of me not to say hi to him I had the puppy the puppy was crying I didn't want to go into a small Mexican establishment with other people eating with a dog in my hand because some people aren't cool with

that you took that personally and that's your fault all what I was gonna do is as soon as you came out if you had said Kalyla I'll take the dog go introduce yourself would have been I would have been fine with it and eventually because I realized you were so mad what did I what did I do I went over him over to him by myself yeah introduce myself and then I made myself even look more stupid because I interrupted him as he was like chewing on his burrito I was like hi you know I'm Bobby's girlfriend he was like okay cool yeah he was so upset at me he was so upset he was like you let me down and it was already

weird because of the text text situation yeah so when I said my girlfriend's gonna come in and she doesn't come in to me it was like oh fuck now I just made it weirder right it's just one of those little social things if it was anybody else I wouldn't give a fuck right but this guy he directed this movie that was in right and Lionsgate and he's a Korean dude and we're gonna write something together right so it just felt weird and I just needed saving I know I realized that but you didn't communicate that to me right then and there I am all about saving you every time you introduce me to someone whose name you can

remember what do I do when you don't remember their name I say hi my name's Kalyla what was your name again just so you could hear their name again right that's why I found it a little odd because of the fact that you are so you've saved me so many times in like social situations especially when it comes to like Hollywood bullshit like I hate going to like rap parties and stuff like that but I bring Kalyla because she's so good she's so good at that shit right I people person she's just a people person and people love her every time I introduce her to people even I after you know Friday was like by ourselves you

just go dude you fucking look down I know she's the best right but she failed me to this right she's usually kills it she didn't today I got a bad set and that's why I didn't even I didn't even apologize I forgive you I didn't apologize cuz I didn't think I was in the wrong you're on our way on our way back home he was like look sweetie I forgive you like I don't fucking apologize you I don't need your forgiveness because you fucked up you fucked up you fucked up you're welcome and I forgive you guys gonna kiss her yeah give me a bubble for the audience you say sorry to me I'm sorry for no

reason I'm sorry cuz I didn't do anything wrong but I could say sorry all day I need both now Friday Friday you guys came to the live mad TV taping what you guys think very cool what do you mean cool I was on set of mad TV yeah yeah I was crazy you know what I have to say that you know I see you do stand-ups so much and you know I'm kind of desensitized to all your jokes I'm desensitized to a lot of things that you do and when I saw you up there doing the sketch with Ike Baron holds that was yeah I really thought to myself like holy fuck that's his muscle that's my dude and he's fucking talented like I it

was so natural to you and even me as your girlfriend seeing you every day I was in awe I was like oh fuck like that is what he's best at I'm not good at stand-up you are good at stand-up but what I'm saying is that it was you just seemed so at ease and happy and it you didn't even have to memorize your lines like I didn't see you the night before you know just fretting about it and I thought oh my god he's gonna bomb tomorrow because he's not even practicing reading his lines and he went you went I you did it with so much ease I was in awe of you well it's easy when you have someone like Ike because I

already like him and I there's always a thing of like being your trust yeah that he's so good that you're gonna be fine if you just listen you know and a lot of that stuff wasn't written down I mean I would just listen to his thing yeah and you do a lot of improv right so it's like so most of it was improv like he would cut we would cut pages and we're doing only this or we're gonna do this and they were just like all right you know but in it it felt um I really did miss it I miss it and your chemistry with Ike I know but he's just being flaniganed together or me and Will Sasso or any of those guys I just fucking

miss it and it's like it's done it was a part of my life and it's done and I got a little taste of what it used to be like it's never gonna be the same again it might be different or better my life but that you know that was eight years of my life and that's why it was a fun day because it's just I spent all day revisiting in the past I made this analogy to somebody I said think of it this way imagine your dad dying my dad dying and then me going morning and me going to the funeral and then years I just I heal I heal and then eight years later he's right next to me again but he's now this time somebody else's dad

because the other cast members like Adam you know the new cast members right so he's around he used to be my dad and I you know I mourned him you know that's what it felt like being there it's like what is this show still on for this is weird yeah that show was done 10 years ago and they brought it back it's fucking weird I think that it ought to be given another chance I always thought it was a good show yeah yeah well I don't know what the ratings were like but um I like how the way you talk to us is the same way you talk to like the director and producers were hilarious they're like Bobby can you do the fuck you guys fuck

yeah I was like oh my god he's like he runs this show well and no in only in the so funny I can't do that anywhere else though but mad TV you can't I can do it and I can do it here what I love no I know love this is me at love no one's talking to you do I don't even know who the director is sometimes and then when they say stuff to your you'd like you get scared it's completely different okay it's him like they're all friends no here the fucking cameraman Parker I've known for 20 years right the sound guy Carlos is my manager's best friend's husband right and I called to get him his job back Bruce Letty the director is

I've known since the beginning of you know and we've been on the across the country together so it's like and the owner of the quote the actual show Salisman is you know he just thinks that I'm the best so I can go fuck you Jew or whatever I might be hilarious but like I just yell and I act maniacal but they know they know it's an act I'm not a mean yeah I'm a good person guys I mean look at your eyes you guys are fucking like you guys are fucking crucifying me right now I have heart love I just said I was in all of you you broke my fucking Xbox you motherfucker yeah well I've never seen anybody get off the couch so fast to go to Best Buy and when his Xbox broke

yesterday he's like baby I'm out of here where my car keys also so quickly I love what you've made George think that he broke your Xbox didn't break your Xbox we don't know we okay stop okay we don't know what happened that George that's true that's 100% true I know what happened you know what happened okay uh-huh yesterday was it yesterday yeah okay yesterday George comes over and goes well I'm gonna set up your twitch right so my Xbox is working fine that not before completely fine and then all of a sudden he puts the twit downloads the twitch I turn the machine back on it just keeps turning off and then

eventually it just doesn't work anymore okay and George started feeling bad okay but the night before my cat Gooner spilt milk onto the Xbox but I it wasn't I didn't see the milk go into the circuit it just hit some of the Xbox on top I wiped it down and I played for four hours on it and it was fucking fine okay the reason why I blamed I looked at George about the milk was because I didn't want him to feel bad so on top of that I'm I lie to make people feel better wow but all afternoon you were like George you broke my ex-boyfriend yesterday and then I asked him hey where you going he's like George fucking

broke my ex-ball so you said it about 80 times I don't know how you want to feel better it was sweaty balls it's how you make the fucking machine go that's her this is an engine and it runs on certain kinds of fuels milk and circuitry and rotors and what do you anything rotors I don't know much about engines radiation radians right and tubes you know there's tubes in there and so I know how to keep this fucking machine going and so you have to throw out lies and deception and anger and then kindness and all kinds of stuff just to get this thing going why you're all about Stockholm syndrome it's like

attack and then sweeten them up it's like let me break you down emotionally and psychologically but also let me give you cake afterwards like a drill sergeant yeah that's you're all yeah that's how wars are one that's why I'm still in this relationship exactly and just when he knows I'm about to like hit my threshold yeah I clean the house you know what he says to me but then you know what happens after this is what he does like he knows I'm on the verge like he could probably see the steam coming out of my ears then he says you know what I'm gonna do today babe I'm gonna do some deep cleaning he knows that that

it's going to get him back out of the doghouse he's gonna do some deep I love the adjective deep but you know what after he does a deep cleaning you know what he does deep messing deep but for he is a type of guy that expects he expects a gold medal for every small task that he accomplishes so every small thing like hey look what I did today put the garbage in the trash can like a normal human I know but but if he does that once he did he expects an eight hour tell you why I'll tell you why because you didn't know me before I met you I never took the trash out who took it I would hire people to do it oh

my point is is that these little things that I do and I brag about it like yeah I did that right yet normal people do that all the time but to me it's a new adventure to me it's an accomplishment for me a Mount Everest you know it's like I you know it's like having this a black African-American kid I'm not gonna say anything racist or anything weird okay okay but you know the reason why they don't swim a lot and they're not good right it's continue okay so anyway right because they're they didn't grew up you know in an environment where there was swimming okay but like a white dude can swim right because they have

access to a pool right and then when a black guy finally kind of can float in the deep end by himself he gets really excited when a white dude's like I've been doing this since I was eight but for the black guy it's a new thing is what I'm saying there's it actually goes deeper than that historically why I mean now it's fine I think that more black people have access to waters so there's a lot of you know they swim I think that's a fucking misconception but I learned in school that it actually dates back to slavery and slave masters and slave owners would tell slaves would would would really scare them about the

water they would always say if you got in the water it was like it meant your death like you would die in there so yeah they would instill all this fear about like crossing the water because they didn't want their slaves to and the slave masters also they didn't want their slaves to escape so they would scare them in that way and make sense but here's another thing slave masters used to tell them talk really loud in movie theaters there's no one louder in the movie theater than you and your brother it's embarrassing only in horror movies also this too no I mean the whole old white with all your brights on your

phone gotta play Candy Crush gotta play Candy Crush in the movie what about old white ladies I realized they're very loud as well because they're going deaf yeah they're like my I don't think they know whoa lady that they're being loud but um yeah and then last night also I just want to mention that we saw a documentary that was kind of terrible but also kind of interesting and it was what was it called Holy Hell Holy Hell and it's about a cult leader it wasn't that good of a documentary but the topic was fun and I realized that that was my calling what to be a cult leader yes okay so this guy the cult leader he

was a failed actor dancer from Hollywood and he created this idea like people started to really started to praise him he would be really quiet he would fucking regurgitate Buddha phrases oh show phrases he would just say the same like fucking at his own place in West Hollywood it was like a you know it's like what Deepak Chopra used to have in San Diego like a like a little building where people can congregate you know and then he gathered a following of people and then that they looked up to him they almost you know you know they idolized idolized because he created this character and it

wasn't even I wouldn't even say it's really him he created this character that was very very likable like he like I said he regurgitated a lot of like you know profound phrases he would sit he would have like a very stoic stare as if he was just in a different dimension he would project this type of like aura about I think he was acting and these people were mesmerized by him because you know it was they thought wow this beautiful hundred people yeah this beautiful man is just like on an another enlightened level but I think it was well calculated on his point how he wanted to be perceived and so he had he

he garnered this huge following of very good-looking people in Hollywood to to fucking treat him like he was a messiah like 20-25 years they moved to Austin for him hundreds of people they built him a a dance studio and all that stuff but I just I think I would have been a great cult leader and he and he would tell them things like oh I have the the word of God God speaks to me and I will tell you if you're ready to be spoken to or not yeah people would go to him I'm like am I ready to hear God's word and he would say no you're not and they would be devastated they would go crying and the ones who would hear God's word they

would almost go into supposedly like an LSD type trip where they would be crying and like in hysterics and then it was really fucking weird but funny enough everyone in that cult was amazingly good-looking all models and dancers yeah and that's that's where it was a little bit contradictory because every he preached what he preached about was our bodies a vessel it sex is not good sexes is a very like shallow type of relationship he kept pushing the idea of our body is nothing you have to you have to think past your body in the meantime he had all this cosmetic surgery done to his face you know and he encouraged

cosmetic surgery to the people that followed him make money from this but it turned out yes but he turned out that he with the guys like it turned out that he would make them he'd fuck him in the ass yeah oh yeah yeah I mean there wasn't guys that were straight like I didn't they just believed yeah they believed them so they just you know I just want to let you know that just by the bye if I'm a part of any kind of call especially my brother Steve and I as soon as the the leader says suck my dick or I'm gonna fucking ass my brother would kill him whoa right don't you think I would have killed are you susceptible you

think to this type of cult no you're not because I feel like they they they they play into the idea that oh let's belong to a family like belonging is a very big thing for a lot of people you know and as soon as dick sucking is a part of it I'm out I'll go to mammoth like the way they did worse of all pray and medicate as soon as your dick goes anywhere near my butthole it's endgame I'm gonna go I'm gonna go to fucking I'm a Mormon now so he goes you know whatever you know Bobby yeah God wants to talk to you oh great finally because I've been traveling with you for 15 years and he finally gets to I get to speak to him but I have to put

the key inside of your hole the key that's it analogy the key what is the key is my penis uh-huh and the hole is your mouth okay I didn't say dick sucking oh so you do want to open the door see Bobby wants to belong I would just go all right stick it in there and I would bite it off yeah I would bite it off and I would run away and I would become a jewel witness wow what would your cult be you said you would be a great cult leader what would your ideologies be my thing would be like I would have everyone eight hours a day play destiny for me to just you have to do a lot of grinding to build your stock

yeah so just you got to get glimmer and you know I mean so how people just play people would just be playing destiny like farmers basically yeah to to help my character and then I don't know it's a lot of massages and you know but what's the overall message to capture them God is it like follow me Bobby Lee for God or is it for God like what is the how do you getting me and Kalyla to join I would just say that I was like God has lots of parts you like imagine God having a body and I'm a toe sign me up yeah yeah I was I'm not God but I'm a part of him I'm like his tail interesting or a pinky or something why did you choose those

two I think that you should try and start a cult and see just what I'll get people to follow you for sure all about this I'm gonna start a cult and anyone listening right now if you want to become a part of my cult email us oh god no I know I swear to God I will have a comedy I'll have any I'll create a book yeah you know with rules and passages and I will have a night where I ran out like someplace in LA meet me and have people come out meet and I'll have outfits for us and we'll meditate and we'll create let's create a religion together wow yeah but what's the foundation of the religion what's the

fundamental idea behind it is to um I don't know yet to be honest the only the only attractive thing to me about a cult like when I watch a documentary is I always assume there's a ton of sex going on and orgies and that's attractive to me that's the only reason I would live in like a commune like that or like a co-op or just can we just all like always fuck anyone always any time but then the guy was like they weren't allowed to have sex with one another at all I was like what the fuck is the point of anything then all these good looking people and I can't fucking get any dick you know just what's the worst

cult ever I would you know what I would do with the guys maybe I would have like a train a train on you yeah no no no listen all right Gilbert and George are in the cult okay and I go we're gonna play train today ooh fun right so so Gilbert yeah the front of the train cool we're sitting in a train no you're naked you're bent over oh okay and then George's gonna stick his dick inside you okay right and then Steve's gonna stick his dick inside George okay and I'm gonna stick my dick inside Steve okay and on the caboose so we're only doing this so you can just say you're the caboose yeah yeah yeah well

I don't have any dick inside me really yeah you're the fuck because you're having one right inside you so what is no pleasure what is the exercise for the train in your cult choo choo that's what we do God's tell why are we doing this I don't know choo choo I mean I would even enjoy that just watching Bobby and but fuck each other yeah you wouldn't but fuck anybody a guy man dude if I was a guy I would but fuck everything I've been on record saying I'd but fuck a guy for money oh I mean not even for money if I was a dude I would get fucking I would fuck trannies I would get blowjobs from trannies and men and anybody

George is not no not for nobody wait you would seriously but fuck Bobby for what no for him not but fuck me George is not I don't know pink dick's inside me my friend I have I wanted you to tell us what airy spears told you I'm curious I think it's funny and it speaks to your diary of the mouth well I mean when I was on med TV airy spears is one guy that I looked up to his talent but he was took me years before he wouldn't even say a word to me I'm imagining being there at that studio for years going every day and having some person not ever even saying hello to you he was just oblivious to me was it just you or

everybody no it's me specifically oh you would say hi to everybody else yeah and I think the reason why is because I was kind of terrible did you guys start at the same time no he was there all years before a couple years before me I got on I was admittedly terrible I really was yeah but you know I you know I'm I was able to like barely make it every cutoff and so for years and then eventually he started saying hi to me and stuff and you know but then when the show got canceled I never thought I would ever see him again really so I would say things about him on radio shows and stuff right as one does that's one does

yeah but not bad things just stuff like that he never talked to me you know and things of that nature and then I saw him that Friday night taping and I'm like oh and he was really nice we hugged yeah I said Deborah Wilson we hugged and then at one point Ares was sitting on a couch and I sat next to him and he goes yo man you like to talk about me on radio huh I go what wow he baited you in I go yeah I man no big deal I go and I'm thinking to myself he doesn't know specifics yeah but then he goes he goes to his phone and he pushes play he had a queued up and he had a couple of things queued up and that was one case where I should have

just shut my fucking mouth over the years but you never thought I don't know man you know but he wasn't really that upset but he had it queued up I mean I queued up yeah was it was it bad then what it was queued up what did you say about it I'm so why would you pull that well I mean he him and I one time had to be physically pried apart because it was gotten violent and I can tell you what it was about please he goes on you know when you're when you're an Asian gone in a sketch show they write things like if you're not in something in a week eventually they'll go we got to find him something to do and so what they

would do this bullshit like he'll play Japanese businessman number two got it and sort of fucking bullshit sketch like yeah we have no line and it's basically glorified extra shit yeah so one day I go um I'm not playing Japanese business man number two you know and he goes and then Ari said I said that out loud to a producer and then Eric goes oh here's Bobby not being a team player and for him to say that right it snapped something inside me oh I'm not a team player I'm not a team player the motherfucker didn't know my name for three years you know and then one of our producers loan Dombrovsky who had

cancer at the time she had lung cancer no breast cancer and she was she's the one that got me sober the one I love and she's passed away but she was going through chemotherapy and her she was there she had to separate us too right and she was like frail and sick and I'm ashamed of that but that happened I don't think that telling that story is all too bad on a radio show yeah I said that story but he I guess he doesn't we didn't want to hear that so he grabbed you your shirt or something and pulled you in no we both you know he's a big guy we you know I've been in a lot of physical altercations in my life in comedy

especially so talented though huh who he's so gifted yeah he really is I'm gonna say that the best African-American impressionist in the country yeah he's so dead on good and he's always been like that and I always said a story about him listen he you know him and I are cool now yeah but it's not really his fault he made it in show business when he was 17 he was on Def Jam when he was 16 years old so yeah right so he you know he's always been a part of it and I think maybe I'm resentful because it took me forever to make it yeah I crawled my way up it I wasn't 30 when I fucking got on mad you know I wasn't 16 you know and

it's like a lot of these kids they they had a leg up because they're just obviously Aries Spears has always been obviously super super talented you know Calliendo again another Frank Calliendo pressure super talented but not in the beginning we were I can I were talking and he's a great guy I'm friends with a cat Frank but you know it wasn't like I was really close to him when I was on the show because I guess he didn't want to be on the show when he got on it and so we don't really hang out that much but as we got older now like I love Frank and I love his wife and I've been to his house and what I he's I love him you

met his wife amazing so it's like you know a lot of it's growing pains and stuff like that but you know to see Ike how great he's doing you know you guys like brother like brother like that you know there's a lot of guys in show business that make it and I get jealous I do and I have this thing inside me that they compare I compare myself to other people and I go you're a loser you didn't do this you didn't do that look what everyone else is doing he specifically is one case that I've never felt like that for because he's always been good to me we've always been friends like real friends and we've always and we've

had fights and stuff but just like squabbles whatever but I've always loved him I've always loved his brother and his parents I love Josh Myers too he was another one that was with Ike back then and yeah so that was like a squad just you three was your nine can peel okay I mean they were all you know a squad you know and I'll you know in fact anyone from my generation of Matt TV I have just such love for and support like key and peel killed it they're my generation and I you know you know there was there there is a thing where you look at you know entertainment weekly or the front page of the New York Times to see

these two guys on it there is a feeling of pride and like wow it's heavy to be on the cover of Esquire yeah and two guys you know that I was on a sketch show with and I just have love there are other people that I don't feel that way about I get really jealous and angry and resentful I'm not gonna name names you know I'm not gonna name names but we can all assume and make assumptions yeah you know but I don't you know what you know it's so funny it's is highway Mandel you know him yeah you know how we Mandel you learn no deal deal no deal yeah yeah he's on a show what talent America America talent talented America

got talented he's talented yeah but um he said something to me the other day that really fucking cleared it up it was like a nugget of knowledge that I wish I had five years ago he was saying he was at the comedy store and he was like he was going up and I go wow you've been going up a lot lately and he goes yeah cuz I'm doing Montreal and I go oh I was offered to do in Montreal this year but and take it because I still have resentments because when I was a younger comic they never brought me into new faces or you know you never did it and I never did it I don't know Montreal is a comedy festival yeah huge

comedy festival blow up and people get deals out of there and it's a huge thing for comics to go and I wasn't I wasn't invited for 15 years in comedy it's only recently where I've been getting in fights but I've said no to them because of this resentment and how he was mad he looked at me because you never make decisions based on emotion and I go what do you mean he goes if I if I would if I made decisions based on emotion I would have never taken deal or no deal which is the thing that reinvented my career right because he didn't want to do it at first but his wife said you have to do it right and

he goes you know what I'm gonna get over my petty whatever and I'm gonna not make a decision based on my emotions and just do it because it's work and it reinvented him and I from now on for the rest of my life I will do that you know me I'm gonna push aside resentment and all that bullshit that's only in my head it is mostly in your head and our suffering is in our head especially with someone like you I mean even something as simple as dinner tonight where I didn't go say hi to Danny you in your you sat in front of me and you said that's it he'll never work with me again he'll never work with me again you ruined it

my relationship with him is over what if he becomes this big big time director and it's like it's not like I didn't say those things yes he did I didn't say those things that's how his brain operates but that is I know what she's saying I didn't say those things out loud but she know I didn't say all those things out loud right but I understand what she's saying this is that she's making a point it's zero to 100 it's zero to 100 I make assumptions about things yeah you know like I'll go into an audition and I think in my head that I was terrible right and then for a month I'll be like and then a month later

you get a call you got it what that job that you auditioned a month ago and all that torturing I did for a month in my head was for nothing keep it you let that consume you it's an energy what that really consumes you small little things to him like we went to a rap party a few years ago and someone was he had he had ran into somebody he knew a big-time actor it that he knows very well he's friends with but they were passing each other an elevator so there's not much time to really chit chat right because elevators thinking there's other people waiting and so he the guy was kind of like oh hey Bobby

but then bye Bobby and then bought the whole ride home he was like he hates me our relationship is over did I make myself look weird like all these questions I know it's a character defect I just admit it to it I already know it it's crazy it's crazy mental insanity building stories in your head I build it these false things in my head and then it's like I it's all it's nonsense it's all just my brain just as a defense mechanism creates these fantasies and then I actually start to believe them and I want to stop doing it yeah I get that that's what I do because remember we just started talking we Bobby and I

really started to believe actual manifesting manifesting your your future and what you want to happen in your life and even something as simple as us having a 10-minute conversation about him not texting Danny Lee back is the reason we ran into Danny Lee at the Mexican we had talked about it all day and it just happened and it happens I believe in manifestation and and even even crazier story is last Friday actually Thursday night I don't know if you guys follow me on snapchat but all of Thursday night my entire snapchat story was me threatening to leave Bobby for this guy on the bachelorette his

name's chase chase chase right and my whole snap story is Bobby assaulting me because I kept threatening to DM chase and you know I thought that that was okay just you don't think anything of it right yeah Friday the very next day we go to a dog park with our new puppy it's insane and lo and behold I look over and there's a lady with almost the exact same dog identical to our puppy so I go over to her I say hey that puppy looks exactly like mine and she goes did you did you adopt it from Lori from Lancaster and I said yeah that's the same place we fucking ran into my puppy sister and to give you guys a little bit of

perspective you know perspective Lancaster is two fucking hours away from here it isn't like it's a it's a it's a local you know dog pound yeah so the chances of us meeting in this random Hollywood park was really slim to none right and guess what the lady and guess what the fucking lady does for a living either nose chase no she's a producer on the bachelorette and wow yeah and then when we exchange numbers it goes even beyond that we exchange numbers and I gave her my number she goes wait what and she looks at the number I just gave her she goes wait that's my old number she's from fucking Long Beach no she had

my exact same number except for the area what the same number yep and it and it like everything we thought about that they Bobby's like you still don't believe in God bitch yeah I believe in I don't believe in coincidences and I believe things happen for a reason I believe that and I mean now people listening may think I'm loony for saying that but there's just been too many incidences in my life where it was just like wow this is so fucking weird that this would be having at this very moment you know like when I got sober when I got sober did I tell you this story I think you did yeah but go ahead on this podcast I've

said it I think so but I want to hear it again what is it when I got sober Mike Mike I was taking 40 50 Viking into anyway people know that right and then my manager goes we're going to this place in the lemming grove to get you sober and you know what it was was called an optimum health Institute which is not a recovery house it's just a weak grass farm where they had little apartments like little rooms it was had nothing to do with recovery and then I found out the reason why my manager wanted me get sober there because she wanted to stay there to lose weight oh my god right so I'm going through like I'm going through massive

withdrawal she saw I wake up in my little hotel room at this weekend grass farm going into convulsions you know I mean while she is like by the pool getting massages and stuff right but so one night I go I got over my detox and I gotta go I gotta go down the street and I gotta go to a in and out or something and she and then I was mad at her too because I could this isn't a I need a 12-step group kind of recovery house I haven't been to a meeting yet I need a meeting it's like don't worry we'll leave we're leaving in two weeks anyway shut up you know me and that kind of thing yeah so I go down the street

it's like one in the morning there's a 24-hour on bonds right and I go in there and I'm in the fruit section and I get a tap on my shoulder and it's this guy will that I knew way back 12 years ago when I got sober the first time and he goes what are you doing here I go I'm at the lemon grove optimum health and institute because I go what are you doing he's like I don't know something just told me to pull over here right and he gave me all the numbers that I had from 12 years ago like a number and then I had all these a people pick me up from the optimum health institute and drive me to meetings into my head I thought that was

way too much of a coincidence right so I believe in that kind of shit you know but I believe that I mean but people might think I'm crazy that it might be just a coincidence I like to think about it as to me there is more it's more fun for me to believe in the randomness of life that even in the randomness there is like cosmic alignment that sometimes in the weird chaos of all those randomness sometimes things just perfectly align in perfect situations and I don't need to believe in something higher up to believe in things aligning for you sometimes but I'm when I say God though I don't mean Jesus or

a Western religion I just it's just a word that is that it's a term of higher being of like yeah a you know a power that's up there that's you know greater than us yeah I mean I want to use that because it's a very a you know but like just a higher intelligence you know it could be energy I don't want might be but um yeah I do believe that though you know and I feel like I have to or I'll go crazy I don't know how people live without anything I go crazy with the idea of the opposite the idea that one soul thing is responsible for all of these things on earth is an idea that I can't I that doesn't help me sleep

better at night I like to think of chaos million things responsible a million different things interconnecting resulting in a million other things interconnecting to think of one giant greater power responsible for every little intricate part of my personality in my life but the power is all too consuming for me but we're a part of the power right that what I'm saying is is that it's kind of what you're saying is is that there's billions of people and we're all in interchanging in our energy and we're on this planet and we make decisions and whatnot and that but I believe that it's all like a play of

some sort yeah sure and all I'm saying is that I don't believe in a man high up sitting in the clouds dictating my destiny I don't that doesn't make me feel comfort to say that I leave it up into I leave it up to you God because I can't leave it up to just that one thing to me if I would ever believe in a God it's probably a God that's made up of a million things it's not but that makes any sense I'm sorry this is not could be but here's another thing that I do believe okay not only that do I believe I believe that you can attain your goals in life by less by not putting that much work into it that you manifest they

think people things just gravitate towards you right that's been my fucking career that's what I really believe in though I think that because I do I do believe in in the chaos and the randomness that I do think that you can harness you can't harness certain types you can harness what you want to happen like you can take this type of energy really believe it and kind of zone in to that happening for you yeah that's why I don't believe in a God because I'm not waiting for a God to for him to bless me with that outcome I want that outcome to happen because I manifested it and I I geared myself in that direction

but that's all part of the same thing I'm talking about maybe maybe I'm just you know you know I like I've never done a headshot really I mean I headshot that's the way I have headshots but that's because photographers go hey I need to do your headshot for my portfolio yeah and I come over and they'll do my head shot never paid for it I never take it taken a flyer to an agency and go hey can you represent me here's my real you know in fact the only thing I've ever done is I just just go up on stage I made that decision to do that and everything else has now I could have been bigger the more things would have happened but the

things that has happened in my career isn't because I worked hard for them they just started happening but don't you think that's not a good thing to tell people no because it is a good thing anything because there's something you still have to make decisions and you still have to walk through certain fears like for instance you can be a like let's say you want to be a rock star well you guys learn how to play the guitar on this instrument or if you're gonna sit don't just sit there and write a song yeah I mean you know how to do those things right but my brother for instance always wanted to perform he made

decisions based on that so he wrote songs he recorded them in his room but he didn't know how that he was gonna have an audience you know because he tried all that he created group like rap groups and then one day he met David Cho through me and then David Cho goes I wanted to start a band Money Mark Steve be in my band my brother's elite singer now they have an audience because of David his whole life has changed but he didn't do anything he just made a decision he goes I'm gonna write songs no matter what I'm gonna paint and draw because I like creating things but you know in terms of success I don't know

how to do that but it came to him because he made decisions based on what his heart believed in what he wanted to do you know I could be wrong but I mean I do believe that sometimes it is from hard work sometimes it is just a look of the draw and yeah and sometimes it's a little bit of both and I think there are two ways to go about it I've seen people who are really really at the top because they've just worked there worked extremely hard and I've seen people get to the top in less time because they worked extremely smart so I I still you know my belief is work smart not hard but there is an element and you

know I've never met anyone in stand-up comedy the one thing that I know about okay that didn't make it everyone that I know that have any kind of resemblance of talent regardless of their work ethic or not eventually make it they might not make it to like you know Gabriel Iglesias like stadium stand-ups right but they find their way they're able to provide for their family and stuff like that and the people that don't make it are the people that never should have done it in the first place so you're saying that if they didn't make it therefore they are not talented that's not what I'm saying I'm saying that from

my when I started I used to host the open mics in the late 90s at the store and I used to watch there was this girl red-headed girl she was 18 or 19 years old and she was tall and she was a very good joke writer but stage presence was good but she was new she was young but I used to put her up I believe that it was Morgan Murphy you know and she was young you know I mean and all those kinds of things you can see you can see that there's something about this person you know and they continue to do it and then they eventually she writes for two broke girls she's had specials yeah she's great yeah right um a lot of those

like you know you look at the Scalar brothers when back in the day twins you're like I don't know but they made they're not the biggest household names but they're constantly on TV but their bills are being paid yeah I mean I've been to their house they have houses and families and kids and you can find your way the big thing that the thing is is just to go out and you have to make a decision you have to make a decision to do things you know I'm gonna if I want to be a painter I'm gonna paint I'm gonna open up you know I'm gonna try to get my stuff in a gallery but it's not like it's grueling stressful work you just

paint because that's what you're love doing that's what you're gonna do anyway and then you know you show people online or whatever and eventually something might probably happen but not you know I the reason I don't always believe in that is because I think that we're all dealt a different hand in life and you've had the opportunity like your parents were happy to support you until you were 30 right sometimes that's not always the case sometimes they don't people don't have parents to financially pay their rent you know my dad said if you do if you do comedy you don't ever talk to me excuse me what'd you say if you do

comedy don't talk to me he didn't talk me for years it's only my mom that I wish bag for money and then she would tell my dad they were gonna fight it wasn't hard for me that it was very difficult for me to ask and sometimes they didn't give me the money a lot of times they did because I was I've been homeless then but yeah I mean it was stressful asking them yeah you know it was hard on me all right but I always knew that something was gonna happen yeah I mean I think you're just a special case because I don't think so I think you're inherently talented I think that from the time you were born from the

time you were a child you had this innate talent for comedy and I think you're strangely you're absolutely just you're incorrect because well you know what I did open my I had I wasn't good and people came up to me goes you don't have any comedy timing you're awful and I was all right I don't think that I'm talented but no but you're funny as a person 57 57 very good yeah so that was a that wasn't a funny podcast but that was constructive I believe I think we went into you know some areas that we never normally don't ever touch hopefully we'll never touch them again you know these are things that I really do love

you guys and I really love doing this podcast and this is the one thing that I've done religiously every week every Monday and I'm glad it's in my life it's something to look forward to and I think we really we're doing good we're doing good give me the question oh no wait wait wait before we do that though can we talk about the MMA real quick okay a really quick MMA minute recently there was UFC card 201 okay and let's talk about the main event first we had Tyrone would love to match before that Carolina and Rose not okay oh if Rose if you're listening hopefully you are hopefully you're not me you know Rose

not me I believe that you're a future champion my girlfriend are huge fans of yours I know everything about you I've seen all the matches that I can online to see you and you're really good I thought it was a really close fight I do believe that you lost because of Carolina's knees in the clinch but I really believe that you should keep going forward and she's doing it and you gonna be a champion when you're only 24 only Carolina um you wanna you and Chechek is gonna destroy you oh I love you okay that's okay she's so cute I like how she stands in the octagon with her hands behind you on a young Chechek

is my favorite fighter of all time she's a machine and that's it and to um Woodley Tyrone Woodley called it who beat Robert Lawler Robbie Lawler Robert Lawler Tyrone Woodley you're a strong man holy shit he's strong and I love your new camp you know something different about you he trains with him what's his name ATT and DeGroof is yes DeGroof is but I want to say something right now the next fight that you have has to be Steven Thompson because of the fact that he is next in line he doesn't want it no no it doesn't matter I don't I don't care what's the DS I think that the number one contender should

be get the fucking champions we should work no it should it always should work that way all right and I think Tyrone Woodley is saying that it's a big I don't it's not a big money fight for him is because he knows that he's gonna lose he doesn't I mean they I get what he's saying he wants to be able to defend his title at least one time yeah title guys right now or they keep changing no Steven Thompson right to me is so fucking good I mean what he did to Hendricks he beat Rory McDonald right I mean he is the guy and let me tell you something right now Tyrone whoa he can beat you and you know he can he's

gonna beat you that's why you want Nick Diaz who hasn't fought in years three two years come on man can't doubt the Diaz brothers so no I love the Diaz was I'm not I think that Nick deserves an opportunity but the guy that's next in line even is Stevie Thompson now give me the question on helpful advice with Bobby and Kalilah dear Tiger belly I'm a white guy in my early 20s and I've had yellow fever for a long time it's not something I'm proud of in fact it's embarrassing whenever I've gone out to bars to parties through college and afterwards I've always found myself at the end of the lucky nights going home

with an Asian girl I lost my virginity to a Chinese girl which was very possibly the start of it all but hi but I have since been with women of most commonly categorized ethnicities maybe it's the culture and the ways that Asian girls are fetishized and I'm a product of my environment or maybe my direct actions have driven me towards yellow fever I've been dating Asian women for the last year who has really only dated white blonde guys like me George which also seems to be common I feel like I'm on one weird fetish as I fetish isation wheel between white men and Asian women I feel creepy because of it

and I'm trying to think about how to get myself off this do not feel creepy my friend quick question do you think the culture will ever change to the point where Asians aren't fetishized okay I don't mind that quite that a white dude getting Asian chicks I don't mind what I do mind though our Asian chicks that only specifically date white dudes but that's why he's saying it's a wheel because I think it goes both ways both ways does babe I'll tell you straight up like a lot of Filipino chicks from where I'm from yeah we glorify the white man we straight up love anything that looks not pure Filipino yeah I think that the

white guys are being opportunistic because we Asian women think that that they are you know I mean that's a ticket out the country yeah they're gonna get out okay I have no blame with the fucking white man not even talk about Filipinos then what about it's other Asian girls Asian girls in general let me just say something right now all right we have to create an exchange program okay so white guys yes you can have you know our Asian women but some of your white chicks have to go to us Asian men and it's a one-way street right now and until we can figure that out all right so hey white dude that

just did that email do you have a sister his name is I don't know if he has a sister well if you have a sister you have to offer your sister off to a gook wow specifically a gook they should be in some sort of exchange because the exchange rate is if you like if I'm on doing stand-up right and I look ahead at a half Asian in the audience right I go your mom's Asian huh and they go yep it's always them and then I whenever I say it's always that it gets a laugh you know why because that's always the thing and then for every Asian chick right that goes out with a white dude there's a lonely Asian dude somewhere going what

about me I got nobody because those white chicks aren't going to us so okay I have a question for you then control man so what do you think about when black women get really really upset when these when black men date white girls I mean they get crazy about not all of them there's some who are really indifferent to it but I'm saying like I know a couple I know a couple black girls who are like they're stealing all our good yeah but the black girls right I get all the good white guys David Bowie Robert DeNiro right Bill Burr what's his name what HBO guy why Bill Maher Bill Maher yeah right so they Boris Becker the

exchange rate on that is already in play very good okay our exchange rate is broken very poor and I need to fix it all right so when like Kate Blanchett dates Daniel de Kim or somebody like that then I'll be like ah it's going our way but it's not not even it's not even close we don't get any everyone so you'll see one and you go I get I get in my hands and knees I pray to God thank you when I see an Asian dude dating a white girl it makes me very happy I feel like I see that more in Canada Vancouver Toronto yeah because they're good they just sort of you know it's more prevalent there yeah but you fucking a

white chicks man fucking Asian we're soft we have jobs yeah I mean they don't know me but we're clean you guys don't have thigh hair I have no hair you know zero I have zero hair yeah and we're um good dudes yeah and you know the good dudes we're good dude that's why you don't get white chicks babe because you sound like that but there is this big thing in New York happening I think it's called BM AM and it's a huge fetish that's happening in New York right now vice it up article on it it's black women and Asian men it's like the hot thing right now the two most rejected races on tinder black women Asian men

make sense interesting oh the money I would give to anybody who an app no I just need I just would love to see I know this is really weird to sound because he's my man but I would love to see Bobby have sex with just a really big bodacious beautiful black woman probably has he hasn't no I'm talking about a big black woman they don't like him really yeah I say hi to him they don't even look at my eyes look at your eyes they won't even look inside my eyes don't look at it's like I'm not there look at this list it's really sad anyway thanks for listening to Tiger belly and peace out peace out downtown

Kalilah shows for Bobby Lee live calm I just want to point out before I get to the shows that we never answer anyone's question we go into some fucking and that's tangent that's why we're special that's why Tiger Bell is so special yeah so dude who wrote us as they miss anon there is no answer to your question oh yeah there was offer up your sister for exchange rate yeah for an exchange rate program yeah so shows Bobby is going to be at the Arlington draft house not this weekend but the weekend next weekend with Jade Caterpretta and he is going to be in Philadelphia at helium comedy club the weekend after that with Nikki

Youssef and yes oh yeah we you guys can write your questions your concerns or anything Tiger belly related to the Tiger belly at gmail.com you can find us on Twitter at the Tiger belly on Instagram at Tiger belly Bob is okay okay Osiris okay you can find me you can find oh wait yeah more tour dates of Bobby and Bobby Lee live calm you can find them on Instagram and Twitter at Bobby Lee live myself at calamity K on all forms of social media and Q tell us about this logo contest that we have going on oh that's right you guys if you haven't already submitted for the logo contest this week is your last week

to do so contest and Monday August the 8th get them in you can go to our Instagram at Tiger belly and there are logo contest instructions on there yeah and any other announcements Gilbert yes also George Kimmel pink dick awesome producer has got the twitch running up for Bobby and Steve Lee and you can follow them on twitch for Bobby's channel at Bobby Lee live Bobby Lee live wow and also you can follow Steve Lee at I'll probably tweet that also if you want to send us anything you can send it to our mailing address at 1626 North Wilcox Avenue number 161 Hollywood California 9 what almost got it I don't

know nine give it to me dummy nine zero zero two eight nine zero zero two eight yeah I thought you almost had that I actually had it in my head I doubted myself damn it damn it damn it also you make sure you can follow us on YouTube at the at the tiger belly for a video podcast and vlogs it's just called tiger belly I was kidding anything else guys um nope that's it thank you guys for listening and we will see you next week hey prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad-free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today or you can listen ad-free with Wondry plus

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