TigerBelly - Episode 56: Esther the Friendly Ghost

Episode Date: August 31, 2016

Little Esther burns a can of beans. Bobo discovers Reddit. Khaly catches a predator. Gilbert crushes on gymnast feet. We talk HD quality vids, trigger warnings, and tragedy porn.   Recorded August 29, 2016 Music by Bobby Lee Instagram: @tigerbelly Twitter: @thetigerbelly YouTube.com/tigerbelly Facebook: thetigerbelly www.thetigerbelly.comSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 I don't want that part. I won't do it again. No, no Okay anyway, welcome to Tiger Belly We got Gilbert we got Bryson Georgetown in the room we have a special guest tonight We don't have a lot of guests, but this one's very special. She's um, I call her a mutant She's an alien mutant and um I've been picking on her for so long. I have I don't feel bad about I should feel bad about it

But her name is Esther Provisky What is it you said Provisky Provisky, Provisky, Provisky, I like when you say Pavanko, Pavanko. Yeah, I'm gonna call her Esther Pavanko, figure skater And Esther is a I mean, I'm gonna say this. I like to give people props where they deserve it You I I'm gonna be honest with you. There has been no one like you in the stand-up comedy world I don't know if that's a good thing, but um But there has been no one like you In the 20 years that I've been doing stand-up, you know what even from an outsider's perspective

You have a very very specific and particular Voice and look and overall image compared to anyone else and I think that's you know such a great advantage for you Just as you're odd You're not odd in a way that like you're Jeffrey Dahmer on you're not Jeffrey You're more like no, you're like Andrew Cunanan He's a Filipino you know like back in the day when they starting the circus But I also want to say that you're young and I you know, I also love you is is that we're you're very neurotic Like I am you get diary all the time. No, I don't

Boyfriend us. Yeah. Oh my god But he does I'm the opposite I get constipated. Oh, really? Yeah, cuz he told me once your boyfriend. I don't care He told me once he takes Amodium 80 before meals just in case which makes me Okay, I'm actually taking about every meal. I'm just in case you're gonna get diarrhea. It's living life in a prison. No, he's being safe It's like putting a cork in it so that it never exactly wearing a condom But like you should address. What is the problem? It's probably IBS. Yeah, if it just goes through him each time Speaking of what is the problem? Kalyla? Maybe you should come over. Maybe I should ask her our relationship is very strange

Yeah, because Kalyla's a nurse It's strictly a nurse patient relationship if you go through the whole the history of our text messages It's just a bunch of pictures of Esther's rashes The inside of her mouth. Yeah, like in her tonsils. Yeah her CT scan I stopped watching photos. I mean, I don't want to deal with her. She'll text me from New Zealand. I think I'm dying What kind of rashes do you get I get all sorts of rashes I well when I was in New Zealand I had a swollen lymph node Kalyla's helped me so much Like I I don't even know where to start but there's so many like she's just so good and reliable that I keep coming back

Like knowing her has made my life significantly better. Oh, that's really nice. You're you're a touch hypochondriacal But I think you know that I do I do and I feel like I'm very aware when I'm texting you like I'm like, I know this is crazy Yeah, hopefully I say that and when I when I was switching over phones And I was like, hey, like sorry, I didn't reply back to your phone. My phone's broken. She was like, okay Make sure you have a phone Soon a new phone soon like it was a legit concern for her just in case like a new rash you know sprouts up and I really love your stand-up and I think that

You just have you're gonna have a bright future. Thanks, but I don't think you for it to kick in. I understand that but you know what? Things take time. That was Bobby, but like you just did a pilot for ABC BS ABC ABC Freeform freeform ABC with our friend Benji. Yeah, what's his last name or follow y'all? I can't say it for love. Oh, who's blind? He's legally blind. I mean, I know but he when he takes his glasses He has to rub his eyes so much and yeah, he cries a lot. He cries a lot. Yeah He's kind of cross-eyed but that might be a secret. I don't know and what's great about Being it, you know my age and at the comedy store is is that

I've always been able to like go to open mics and see because this comedy store the staff They're all comedians. It's such a tight-knit family almost that I was able to see Astor and all these people grow, you know in the business and it's really just I just realized it now that it's it's a blessing I guess how old were you when you came to LA? 21 and you came from Chicago, right? Yeah, and then you started to stand up right away or do you start in Chicago? Yeah, no, I started right away here. That's why I met you and yeah store and have I been mean to you? No, you have not you've never been but I drive you crazy, but you are like yeah, you're a jerk like why well like Why I don't know just like I feel like nights out when we're getting food you just like

You'll tell a story and then at the end of it will all be like so him into it and excited it in growth And then at the end you'll be like I made it all up You're out to torture. Yeah, but it's like you'll also Give it'll be so so generous to the point where like one time years ago You're wearing a shirt and I was like that shirt is so cool like where'd you get that? I want you just took it off and gave it to me. Yeah, which like because I am I'm a special person Yeah, you are for sure. No, no, shut up. Everyone. Everyone giggled. Fuck you George. Everyone fucking giggled, right? You don't even fucking know dude. No, it's I'm a dream weaver, dude

Well, the thing is is at the comedy store when you first get there like the older kids or the seniors as you know in my head Like they're scary and they don't really talk to you. Yeah, they haze you. Yeah But you I feel like we're very welcoming to all the freshmen. I am but I'm very picky though Yeah, I see a young guy and I just in the bottom of my heart Believe that they have no chance If they I just I mean in a way that I'm like I scare myself Because I want to be nice to people but I'm so cold. What would you say to them? I won't leave you were nice to Benji. No, I loved him. You could tell though with Benji

Really? Yeah, because you brought him to the store. I did, you know, I'm though I brought Kevin Christie. He had never done stand-up before I bought him to the store I I convinced Matt Edgar to stand on this stay in it. Oh Matt. What's that little fucking? Mexican or whatever that from Florida. What's her name the girl Kim Congden? She's Puerto Rican. Whatever Whatever Mexican I she goes I'm going back to college. I go if you do your careers over and she's then she quit college and she lived in LA But you also say this to everybody you meet. We talked about it the last That's absolutely false. He gives a lot of people false hope and it's it's a it's a chronic syndrome of his I don't you know what by you saying that now really puts my throat in a red. You just admitted to it

I know but now when I think about what you're saying now is you're absolutely fucking wrong Okay, tell me now because the stuff that I do with other people are like You know the people that I want to just stop talking. Let me get out of the situation It's pretty much like a one-on-one statement that I always say, you know They just gotta follow your dreams or whatever whatever, right? But that's like bullshit. What when I say people to people quit going to college and Move to LA. I think I pretty much mean it You know and I meant it to her. I think Astra should stay in it and that's that you know

And I love everything about her. I've known her for a long time, but I also know her previous boy boy friends Tony Hengecliffe, right? Yeah, we love names here, by the way Used to eat your butthole, huh? Yeah Yes, sir. Go back to the mic answer that a lot of guys have eaten my butthole. Yeah, that's the thing. I've heard It's not it's a great vibe. Do you ask for it? No, I don't ask for it. It just happens You know, you do have a look if I were a guy I'd probably go for your asshole first. What is it? Because you're a child you look like yeah, that's what it is. Yeah, I it's like you you look like you I should violate you Because you're so pure and innocent looking that would probably go for the grossest thing first. Yeah, you know

It's cheeks probably look like marshmallows. Yeah, I'm you know me like like bulb isn't white and round. Yeah, yeah Yeah, that's the first the first weekend that I met you the first thing she said to me She said you want to see my boobs and she just showed me. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, you did that. That was our bonding moment I was like, oh, I like this girl that must have been because I liked your boobs and just wanted to see yours Probably but yeah, I never showed you mine. You should show yours. It was a one-sided Reborn there one of my favorite Bobby memories is when I was at the comedy store and you were upstairs by the old office with Russell brand and I walked in the room And like got scared and walked out and then afterwards you're like, why didn't you come over?

I would have introduced you to him and then you told me that I had the social skills of an 18th century ghost Yes, well because Russell, I think he said I think Russell said, what was that? I didn't know that was a human being. No, it was a ghost I didn't know Russell because Russell what Russell brand would do is he would Like candles run in a room and have to do like I'm not kidding you one hour meditations before he did his 15-minute spot You know, which is that's how he does him. That's fine. Everyone has their own ritual, right? But when you came in and out, right? It took him out of his like, you know meditation, right?

And so he saw something white In its peripheral vision, right? And he thought it was a ghost and I had to convince him that it was ester To stand up. Yeah. Yeah Did you ever end up meeting him? No, I didn't. Yeah, you fucked up. It's fine. But it was nice to be that you offer that He's a good dude. You're a good person and then I also love I want to get back into your butthole I want to get back into your butthole So when they don't ask to eat your butthole and they just dive right in you don't say no or you like it

Why would I say no and no I Okay, I don't like it. I don't have like a strong opinion opinion on it My thoughts like hey if we're we're at this point where we're both doing these things like Not, you know, we're we're naked in a bed together like just do whatever, you know Yeah, you do what you make you pretend you like like No, I don't really pretend. I like anything. I'm pretty I feel like lately Over the years. I feel like I'm starting to realize I'm just like I lie there and just whatever happens

Like a ghost When they penetrate you do you feel things? Or are you numb? I don't get it. Are you like moracy? Like you're asexual. I mean you're into it, right? Yeah, I guess. Okay. I don't know I'm just I was just like, yeah sex stuff is happening now She's like a kid. I guess sex stuff has happened. I guess sex stuff is happening But wow, so then now you're dating one of my favorites. Yeah, I have a great boyfriend now He literally is one of my favorites Dave Kim

Yeah, and if you don't know who Dave King is he is also an actor Kind of he is but he's you know, he does act He's a writer who's yeah, he did parks and parks and wreck he wrote for that and now he writes for love Yeah, which you're in which I'm in and you're in Kind of what do you mean? We did a scene together. That's true the party scene. Yeah, that's true. I show up at parties Yeah, as Jordan, I had a party scene In in love the second season which is coming coming out next year or whatever. But um, the scene is with was with me

You the lead singer from the eels Oh, yeah, you got so starstruck. I know. Do you remember that was amazing. Bobby like froze up around this one guy It was so weird. He was just go all of a sudden this guy walks in and Bobby just goes to everyone in the room He's like, I don't know what to do. I can't yeah, I I gotta leave. Yeah, I have to leave just to everyone Yeah, yeah, and you know why to every person because he's out of my element You know, you have you know, you we have our world. Yeah, right? One time

I was at uh, Maria Munoz. You know who that is. Yeah, I do. I have a book. I have all three of her books Every girl's guide to life every girl's guide to dieting Every girl's guide to exercise You really think she's a good author. I I love the first book the second to take it or leave it Take it or leave it. Yeah. Well, I did a movie with her. So one time I was at her house All right, she invited me for her Christmas party and I was talking to this fucking nerd And I was I'll show you why it was a horror So I see this nerd. I thought he was an editor. He looked like an editor at me, right?

So I'm sitting there like I didn't know who to talk to Because hey, dude, what's up? You do comedy, right? And I go, yeah What nerd What like I didn't say that out loud But in my head was like I had to talk to this nerd At this party So I decided to go, you know what I'm gonna I'm gonna um, you know, let me pull Hollywood shit. You know, man

Yeah, you know mad tv. I mentioned shitty movies. I've fucking been in right And I talked about yeah, headlining. You don't know man. Like, you know, the road is tough Like I was doing all that whole thing. Yeah, the whole year. I'm not a cameo out 40 minutes 45 You had to tell him how you were like, yeah, I plan for the 304. Yeah, 300 people sell so let's sell out, right? And then I go, anyway, mine is I was gonna try to get out of the situation So anyway, mine is Bobby with your name. He goes, Josh Groban. I go see you And in my head I go You raise me up. He plays arenas. Yeah, and then and then it dawned on me

The horror of what I did Like and then what I spent for the next two hours is trying to find Josh Groban in this fucking party To apologize and I never saw him again. Wow to be fair He definitely just because he's Josh Groban doesn't mean he's not a nerd still That is true. That and you know what that's why I like it That's right. You know what you spun it and you should have backed me up there and that's a fucking friend Yeah, that guy's a fucking nerd. He's a fucking nerd You heard it here on Tiger Bell. I felt bad for so long. He sings a song called like lift me up. Yeah, what a fucking homo

Oh, just nerd. Just nerd. Just nerd. Oh nerd. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're not a homo But um, so that's why when I saw the guy from the eels because I have such like Because it's music and because I don't know much about that world. I freaked the fuck out Do you get paranoid like him or we first meet somebody and then you You assess in your mind you go over it in your mind. Like did that go well? Yeah, did I make a fool out of myself? Oh my god. Yeah, and it consumes you for like the whole rest of the day Yeah, and I when I meet people and I can tell that they're that way in the reason the way I can tell is because afterwards they'll like text you and be or

Like when you run into someone and then afterwards they text him like I'm sorry I said blah blah blah and in my head. I'm like, I don't even notice anything weird. You said like Yeah, you're this person is so neurotic and then I always think of that when I feel that way and I'm like they text me Then they never needed to so I try to like channel that and just let it go Have you guys ever burned a bridge you regret? Oh, I have so many. I mean, I know you do but like have you ever Let's say like Outrelease said something about somebody and didn't know the amount of power. They actually like like wheeled it, you know I don't really know what you're saying right now like for instance like

for instance Esther and I found this girl on the internet remember the girl who was bragging about her her What did she say? There's this girl this model that actually one of our friends Nick Goosan is friends with and he texted me her Facebook post and it was like, I know this is crazy, but you know, it's the struggle I just booked an acting gig in New York, but I'm in LA Does anyone have a private jet that that might be heading to New York this week? I'd love to catch a ride and it was like hashtag struggling actress. It was the worst thing I lost my fucking mind triggered me and Kalilah so hard. I mean, I went into I looked into this woman's

Childhood history. I started sending that's how obsessed you got I got so obsessed like this was the female version of that fan to me Yeah, yeah, whoa, whoa. I'm just saying No, no, no, take that back. I mean huge fan I am you know also actually is a huge fan that just recently talked about it Hannibal Perez. He loves that fan. Yeah He said he was a huge that fad fad back in the day. Really? No, yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. It's interesting. Yeah I guess when you but but anyways, let's say for instance, we had like put her on blasts or like you you had Written a post on Facebook, right? Like we didn't really know who she was, right? But what if she turned out to be somebody like way?

Like like a big-time producer. Here's what I think about that I because I have that kind of thing in mind. I guess a little bit like I don't want to upset anyone or ever heard anyone's Feelings whether whoever they are to me whoever's post that was that post was so ridiculous. I don't care I can rationalize to that person's face. Let's say it's the head of Paramount or whatever it would be I don't even believe that there's anyone person that has control over your future anyway But if it was I'd just be like hold on. I'm gonna put right that down. Go ahead I would just look at that person that face and be like that pose is ridiculous. Like I'm sorry. Yeah, bitch. I'm from Illinois. Like My sister's a waitress and where is raising two kids and like I just like be like I I can't imagine what you wrote

Anything acceptable. Yeah Anything acceptable. Yeah, it's just true. What I just said to write down That's a great point. I want to talk about that for a second. Okay is You do come into LA When you're like you don't know anybody And you think that you make one mistake, right? And it's going to devastate your career And I know producers

huge actors Executives probably that fucking hate me I really do They hate me and it's not in my mind. They say it You know, and I know that they don't like me And and I used to like it'd be devastated by it. I've accepted those things and I'm still gonna work You know, you're still gonna work It is weird like you wonder what propels that myth that like you have to just tip till around Hollywood because once you piss

Off the wrong person. I think you used to be that way Maybe I think because of the internet everybody probably Starts off that way where you feel like you you're in in debt to somebody on a higher rung than you I think that that's generally how that that's why LA is full of this type of like Desperation and you feel it like even going to the comedy store like there is that sense of like You know, how many rungs can I climb today? You know, yeah, but 20 or 30 years ago There was these moguls may four or five moguls, right that had all the power, right? And um, there was what five or six tv stations four, right? So it's like it was a small world

So you fucked around with one guy had a lot of power. You're fucked But now in this climate with a billion networks with a billion producers a billion, you know Executives and you know moguls, you know, it's like you've pissed off one person And their enemy will hire you. Yeah, you know, so it's like, yeah, it's just you know It does feel like this like old Hollywood quote that we maybe learned just from watching movies where it's like you'll never work in this town again Yeah, maybe we learned it from tv. Yeah the movies. Yeah Yeah, like the only person that I can think of that was maybe had like people think of in that way is lauren michaels And I don't even think of him. Oh, yeah, I don't I mean I I mean I was in

in his cartoon the the awesomes, right? And seth mires emailed me and said, um, I really want you in this but you and I know that everyone got offers But he said lauren wants you to read And I got I will not I will not And so like two months went by And I just assumed I didn't get it and then they just I got another email

You're gonna do it. Yeah, but when I went in though into the when I went into the first session There was 40 more people there then Then they normal, you know, because I got the job obviously So I think there was a bunch of people there just to see if I could do it And then the next session there was only two people You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like I was getting calls from in new york giving me notes and all this stuff, right? But still it's like I'm not I don't give a fuck. Yeah, I mean you gave everyone an offer and I had to read go fuck yourself That's great. And he's never gonna hire me. I'm a mad tv guy. There's no way

So I already crossed him off my list, bro I mean, I'm sure he's a nice guy. I don't know but I don't know. I think that's the beauty of where it's at today It's like there's a space in place for everybody Yeah, and I think that you can find your own little Quiet street where only you can exist, you know, you don't have to always be in this like ugly competition with others Yeah, and it's like people will say like, what's your end? I'll be like, what is what you want your dream? and it you there's almost like no answer anymore because I don't I just want to keep working and there's so many opportunities and options that I don't it's not like

The old days where I felt like you used to feel like, okay, you have to be on snl Or you have to like be on the comedy central roast or like there's all these things that felt like you had to do those To break out and now it's like, no, you can just write I mean you can have your hands and like multiple cookie jars You can start your life kids. I mean That's your lift it I'm into youtube movies like I'm into youtube movies coming out. Yeah, and they're both studio films one's a universal one That's crazy lines gate one and it's like they're youtube movies and these are youtube kids that generated a crowd online And you know now studios are like, here's a bunch of money make a movie

So it's like that's definitely has changed and I want to defend defend dat fan for a second because you brought his name out Okay, he's on a fucking tv show Coming out on hulu called Startup with martin freeman. It's on crackle martin freeman. I don't know. It's on crackle. It's on crackle. No, it's that crackle Yeah, it's on crackle. I'm crackle. I mean, sorry and I just want I just want to read this quote from him Okay, may I you may So in the trailer, he doesn't have any lines. He I think he's a he looks like he's a shunt man, but I'm sure he's great So this is him, right?

And his quote is that and he quoted his own quote, which is brilliant Yeah, it really is brilliant. He put he put it in quotes. You put his own quotes in quotes Okay, and I want to read it out loud. May I read it out loud? Please this When I was a child I prayed to the universe That one day I would have the opportunity To affect millions of people for the better dad fan

This is a defense. No, I'm saying that that's true. You said you were trying to defend him. I am defending him. He's a fucking star He's got no, he's got millions of people. I mean, he only has 7 000 followers and he's not verified There she goes. There it is. There it is. There we go. But waiting for that. He's not he's 7 000, but he's not verified I'm verified. I have 142 000, but my point is this My point is this Is that he he's generating all this fucking, you know, I mean millions of people are really clamming to get him and um I want you to apologize to my viewership about what your your comment about that fan

Hey, I just likened him to another chick whose post we hated. I didn't say anything about you. I didn't you don't hate his post I look I think he's fucking the the the quintessential example of delusional Like I I'm sorry. It's just I might shut down the fucking thing. Shut down the fucking thing. I'm sorry if he's your friend Like I don't hashtag dad and friends. Don't forget. Yeah, okay. He knows fucking the lead singer from aerosmith Stephen tyler. Yeah, I mean he went hiking with him. Who is that for real? Stephen tyler the lead singer of aerosmith Bob, I forgot his name. So I call him the lead singer of aerosmith Like I don't know that guy that plays frazier. I see the guy in frazier. Kelsey graham. That's his name. Let's move on I just feel that Stephen tyler has transcended lead singer of aerosmith

Shut the fuck. Let me look at me right now. Okay. Let me see something right now. Okay. Oh, no No, just listen. Listen. I know he's transcended it. Why because he hosted what? Some sort of game. What do you do? He did america's got talent america. American idol. Yeah, but he's still the lead singer of aerosmith That is true. I didn't know who you were talking about and yeah, and so he's always going to be the lead singer of aerosmith I've just never heard of him Heard him That's fine. Let's move on from that. Let's close the case. All right And you know what with because of your tone is the reason why I treat you the way I do

It's the reason why I hit you in the face Oh my god. Do I just not slap you on the head? You've hit me a few times a few times. Yeah And the only way he knows how to show love it really is so I would take that with No, I do. I feel great about it every time he hits me. I feel really pretty But um But so your life is great. I mean you're you're you do love, you know, I mean, I know that's you know, I have a huge part But that's a great show. Don't you think Getting to do a few episodes of love. Yeah, that's really cool. I mean it's any project that has jud's name on it

It's like it's great. Yeah, and he's nice guy. I love him. Yeah, do you love him? I love him. He's the best He's so nice. You like working with your boyfriend. I love it. I want to do it all the time, but he does not like it Why doesn't he like it he He just I don't know He doesn't want to work with me like because we needed to hire a showrunner for me and benji's pilot And dave was available, but he turned us down. I get it though But I think he specifically does not want to work with me and benji together I think that there is there is something healthy about separation of powers to be strong and you know

Yeah, I agree. I mean after doing this pilot with benji and how much we fought and how many times I genuinely felt hatred towards him. I was like, wow If this was me and dave like this, you know, that would be hard. Yeah, but I don't know. I still think there's there would be something nice about if we work together someday I'm not ruling it out Like maybe if you guys had to work together like once a week that would be kind of a happy medium But if it was every day like 12 hours a day and just grinding it out, you guys would drive Yeah, but I do feel like he's such a successful writer and I'm like, what's why am I even dating this successful writer if he's not helping me

Like I did not turn out the way I plan at all But you know what? I mean in many I don't look at it that way, but I don't view you that much different than dave. Oh, that's nice. You know, it's like people know who you are You've done um at midnight a couple a bunch of times, right? Well, yes, that's yeah. Have you? Yeah, how many times have you done it? four times. Yeah, I've done it twice They won't ask me back I don't care. I mean you're asked To do things that are the relevant hip thing to do, right? It's like this podcast

Well, I don't know. Thank you. And you're in with a lot of like she's she's in with like all the fashion bloggers and stuff Really a couple. Yeah, I have my fashion friends now. Yeah. Whoa It doesn't look like I have fashion friends, but I'm wearing a shirt from the universal theme park from the psycho ride You're our kid Yeah And then um and also and you're in a great relationship. Yes. Yeah, so are you guys You think how do you view us? Yeah, how do you feel like I'm in love with you guys and And genuinely just even being here. I'm like god, I wish I was just around here more just because I you guys are funny

Because I think you do what my parents do, which is you guys cancel each other out like I always say like I don't like being around one parent I need both because then like they'll manage each other and I think that's what you guys do Like if my mom says something annoying my dad will and vice versa And I feel like you guys do that like because if she says something you don't like like and you call him out Yeah, but then I think there's a we we've made it a habit to shut each other down Even if we agree with the other person like for instance like even if we completely agree on the same topic

He has to Be the antagonist. He has to be plays play devil's advocate. He has to give me the contrary always But don't you like that? I mean sometimes I guess sometimes I just need to for him to be on board Yeah, you know like if if I need You know if let's say I'm venting about somebody and he'll always take the Well, you know, maybe she's going through this. I'm like, no, I need you to just agree that she's a dumb cunt. Yeah Can't we agree? That's how my boyfriend is too. He is like so about taking the contrarian side of things Like he'll try and find any fight for example. He defends pedophiles. He's like pedophiles

They have no rights like he always goes on about like how pedophiles have no rights and they're disrespected and mistreated I I'm going to say this and I can't believe I'm going to say this All right, and you might have to edit this out just you know, I mean but What the most infuriating tv show Ever made was catching a predator

It's a great show. That's a great point. Especially When a kid is 19 or 20 and the girl is supposed to be 16 Of for your difference, right? First of all, somebody made the age 18 It doesn't say it in the bible Does it in the bible say that you know, I mean a 20 year old and a 17 year old can't fuck That's a us government, you know, and um, but some but a human being Some human being a lawmaker lawmaker made it up They decided because I I almost feel like a 16 year old in the united states is far less

Emotionally and mentally developed than a 16 year old in other countries. I really really do believe that I think that they are stunted here um Just, you know, we rear them differently here because I mean you're right like in the Philippines nobody bats an eyelash when When a 20-something year old dates a 15 year old I mean sometimes a 15 year old can really hold her own when I was 12 I had an 18 year old boyfriend and I blew him. I didn't lose my virginity to him But I blew him regularly. There we go. And you know what and he used to fingerblast me and I didn't even have my period yet

You just stick his fucking and you know what and he was fingers into her fucking little pussy And he was a well. He's still a well-known businessman. Like he is or he's a he's a guy who I've never heard this before You've met him. He you know when we went to the I fucking met him The fingerblaster he shook her hand He picked us up from the airport. He picked us up from the fucking airport That fuck I remember him now. You remember is wow. We use this van. We use this van

The guy that fingerblasted my girlfriend when she was 12. You just learned this just learned that now Wow Why are you still in touch with this guy? Because my island is so small everybody kind of knows everybody And she said that there's like eight people like there's eight people on the island There's millions of people on the fucking island. We have 100 million people with millions actually Did you like feel anything when you were 12 getting yeah, I was super horny I think I was horny even before I knew what horny was But did you like you didn't have an orgasm at 12? I did

What yeah, I had my very first orgasm at 12 and I couldn't understand my emotion The only thing I I hated about the experience was that I felt extremely depressed afterwards like a lot of guilt After the orgasm like like kind of like post quiddle blues When did you lose your virginity blaster? Uh, I guess kind of young 15 After a Britney Spears concert my boyfriend and I of one month We decided to just go for it We'd been together for one month and I had had a crush on him for like a year

So it's like if this I gotta just go for this. Did you have hair down there at that point? Yeah Probably I don't remember There's no weird questions 15 most girls are fully haired scientists He's still shocked from the fact that you learned that he met that Completely different thing, you know man. Can we go back to why you hate catching your predator? Oh, yeah He gets entrapment or do you think it's there's some entrapment there and it's also like, um Okay, if you're a 40 year old man, obviously A 40 year old man with a wife and kids and you're trying to get a 16 year old girl

That's fucking weird, but does that mean you deserve to be put on blasts on the tv show? I don't know Especially it's also, you know, it's it's not a court of law the show It's not right. So basically what they're doing is they're Ruining somebody's life Forever it's tv You know, so basically they have kids They have, you know a wife. Maybe he Has a screw loose and he made a bad decision. I mean, it's fucked up. Yes. Okay, and it's illegal. All right

I get it, but I don't think that a 19 or 20 year old boy. You know what I mean? Who's trying to get fuck a 17 year old girl should be you know, I mean, I don't I don't think I don't think The only reason he's saying this is because a couple days ago. He doesn't know this but I found out he signed up for a new site called club 17 What's that? That's probably a porn site You don't sign up for a porn site. No, he does he gets a pass where he pays for it and he's hd Yeah, because he needs hd only What is club 17? Well, the first one was older for youngers and then now the new one is club 17

And he doesn't know I know Oh, it's another reveal just now. Yeah, I Belonged to different porn sites What's your budget? I spend like I don't know one of them is like $100 a year or whatever They're like a hundred dollars a year. Yeah, do the year package. Um, I don't like um grainy porn Like pornhub is like yeah, it's too grainy grainy, you know, I mean like I needed to be clear

I like newer, you know, I mean just newer girls, you know, and um Yeah, I mean I watch pornography and um I I I have certain fetishes You know, I was into a couple of months ago the the one the old men men and the little girls not the little girls Olders for youngers. Oh, that's what the site is like eight-year-old men and 18 or girls Is that glally you can confirm that's what I found out and I had to confront him on this podcast And it could be wrong And you know what I stopped watching that

Because he's on club 17. No, no, it's club 17. Don't just say something about club 17. Okay He's plugged for that right now. Shut the fuck up. All right club 17. There are other Umbrella's underneath right? Yeah, so it's like for networks. Yeah, like no, just shut the fuck up. All right You don't know what the fuck I'm talking about. Okay. So what I'm saying is is that have you heard of tom yetto? You haven't Tom yetto is a skateboarding, you know, I mean It's a skateboarding company But they have different skateboarding companies within that they have

girl, I think girl or zero, you know Toy machine, they're all under tom yetto's, you know, umbrella, right? And like they're different. No, there's different skate teams in that, you know, One's punk rock. One's more Ivy League or whatever, you know, so it's like it's club 17. It has an umbrella. So there's a specific Watch club 17. There's just something else that that's all Look, you know, I don't I just feel really like I'm persuading. I'm defensive Because no, but that's not it. It's because now you tied in right catching a predator With club and seven that was a segue and I was defending, you know, I mean the pedophiles on

You're catching up now. I feel like I'm trying to be a pedophile And I'm not but to make you feel better. Dave doesn't think pedophiles are all that bad He his argument is just that they're treated unfairly, you know, they have to register In neighborhoods where like certain people don't also like think of they're fighting this like desire that they don't want to have And I mean he'll say so he sees it as a mental illness that you just you're basically like Hardwired to be a certain way. I think so and I mean, I can't say I see it but he yeah No, I I get that. He doesn't think I mean, it's like saying it's like saying I I see it as some people see it as a mental illness, right?

If you're how you don't know that person's past traumas You don't know what led up to his like current behavior being like a pedophile and he has this just strong urge to commit what we consider a crime And um, he doesn't know where it comes from. He just feels this urge, right? It's like this hunger Um, so yeah, I I guess Dave looks at it as a disease, which it is Mm-hmm. Okay, like alcoholism, right? And he thinks that um, there should be healthier ways of dealing with Pedophiles, maybe yeah, but the act in itself is abhorrent Which I believe it's an it's an abhorrently act, right? Of course, and I don't I was molested. I hated it

It fucked up my life My brother was I should not say that but you said it before molested. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, you were molested I think we I think were you molested people have been, you know, well, you were never molested. Oh, you're so lucky I actually think you're in the minority I was not Are you sure I'm serious? Yeah, I mean like aunties they grab my balls, but that's that's fucking molestation. It's not no It's not normal in Filipino culture. That's not their church lady. Yes. Yes, totally wait They say pull out your ball and then they touch it. No, they go weep like when you pass

They go wee-wee my mom will hate this but I'll say this my grandma apparently she used to tell me she used to put When I was a baby she used to put my penis in her nostril I mean, I think that's okay. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. She goes. Did you boy? That right there is I'm gonna what's your grandmother's name not doing that. Yeah. Yeah. No, we're not doing that I'm following a fucking lawsuit For on my back. Yeah, that's fucking illegal dude. That's fucking molestation. If I was a baby Yeah, just listen to me. Fuck. Fuck you. If I'm a baby, yeah, yeah, right and my dick is in somebody's nose Right and then later I have like obsessed nose obsessions, you know

Like all I wanted when I see people's nose is like an erection, right? I mean that could really have life altering fucking now that you say that Yeah, I do like women's noses and feet. Those are like my thing. Do you really like feet and noses? Yeah I always wonder where fetishes arise from. Yeah, do you have one feet is I know why feet because of dominique mochiano Oh my god, I love her my family made fun of me. He says oh is the thing thing getting hard Did you boy but Dominique most you know, it was very cute. She had a cute little like button. No, her feet were cute Oh, her feet. I don't know what I'm revealing too much. Can we stop are you one of the people in the world that has the foot fetish that we can never understand

Why it's so popular, but it's you. I don't like watching foot porn, but I like when I'm with a girl I like too. Maybe she'll be like, oh, how do you keep massaging my feet? Because it'd have to be nice feet though Or just any feet. Okay more importantly if you met a girl, right? And she's just a 10. Yeah, but her feet look like mine Hey, can I you want me to know what I'll say I'll say Talon hey unfollow me on instagram on friend me on facebook lose my number You're being fucking real right now. Yeah, it's like Megan Fox in our thumb. They've that like the like the hitchhiker's thumb Yeah, but under the big toe. Yeah. Goodbye

Really? Yeah, what's your absolute deal breaker? I mean, there's so many It's less about a deal breaker and more just like do you fit into like I think for me it's just like Like the guy I'm dating now. I saw him and was like that guy is hot That's like what I want and then when I talked to him He was like I could tell he was smart and had a job And so then from there I was like we're good But physical so he could have done nothing wrong or what's let's say you he took his shoes off in front of you on your first date And you realized they were all just you know blacked out with just shit tucked underneath

I mean that would be super gross if you just had like some weird major hygiene issue But I don't know. I think once I I see someone and like them and connected them. I'm pretty much willing to overlook Every night. Yeah, and I have to say this too about Dave is is that It did they allot him as my guy because when I'm on set He's the only one that gives me notes. Oh, he's the on set guy. He's the writer on set He's the writer on set and he's the one that does that. Yeah, so he does it to everybody Yeah, because in my because I thought my god. They they had I'm so terrible a special coach. They have a special coach

With my friend. They tell me, you know, I mean, and he's very clear. Yeah, you may speed it up All right, you know say this this at this time. I was very nice. You know, I mean, no, that's his gig Because I feel like usually you think that comes from the director But it seems like from what I realized like in tv It's really the writers that have all the power and he's like the on set writer that gives the notes to everyone And he in fact in our pilot. He was on set for some of the days and was giving us. Yeah. Oh, that's amazing Yeah, it was really cool. He helped bench you God you guys

You guys are like a power couple then because you guys are both talented. I love him so much Who's your favorite power couple you guys? You think but for real though, but like aside from us like they're everybody has their favorite stuff for a second Oh, I'm not we're not that powerful, baby. Let's keep it. I know. I know but can I say this? Yeah I'm not fucking kidding you when I go on the road now, right? Where's kalayla boom power every fucking night 30 times a night? Where's kalayla? Where's club? Did she come did she come did she come so in my opinion? You are a power. We are a power. I just like to infiltrate your identity

So like the next girl after me will always have to deal with that I tell you something. I love that That's amazing That's brilliant. I get you. What do you mean that by that? I just need her to struggle Passed like the association between the I will always have with you like she can never be tiger belly She's gonna hate the fact that we did hundreds of episodes together. Yeah, and then everyone will always associate the both of us I never had to deal with that with you. You've only dated girls like for one year at a time We've been together for years. It's you've met my other girlfriends

I don't know if I ever actually met them, but I just know that it was not this long. Yeah. Yeah This is a over three years now. Yeah, over three. Yeah, do you think we'd be good parents? Yeah. Oh god You guys are raising animals. Yeah before too many It's chaos But do you do you feel do you understand what I'm saying though where it's like you don't want the next girl to have you Yeah, you definitely want to mark your territory like in every way possible You also want to make sure that the past girlfriends don't have any Like, you know, they're they're they don't exist anymore. I remember when we first started

Jesus Well, we first started dating when I I moved in with Dave and he in his old girlfriend Had lived there before and this was like I that was really hard for me to handle And I remember like when I moved in I was going through she had like these jars of beans and I just remember like burning them I just didn't wait, but I was like I would always call her the old witch. I'm like the old witch is gone Wow Yeah, I just women do that We do that. I mean, I'm also the very possessive clingy jealous obsessive

Like I'm just that person. Are you I don't know. I'm very needy. Yeah, I don't know I think that I had to all the things you want in a girl. I was all of those You can't be that way with him. I think that it he's so he has an aversion to that type of like clingy There's no way to be clingy with bobby. So in the beginning I was a little bit Um, I didn't know how to be around him. I was very uneasy in who what I stood what I Who I was to him and I think it caused a lot of problems early on But as soon as I realized like look dude, like you can't chase him. He's gonna be the animal that he is um

And I mean I could not even talk to him about little things that I would find in this house Like whether it was photographs of him like spreading a woman's ass cheeks open And what like I mean they were I just had to To learn to like toughen my own skin. It was really weird because I never had to deal with that It wasn't one girl's so many I mean I still keep them because I can't even throw him away because it's like well, it's it's it's history Archive it's kind of cool actually it's proof Yeah, it is proof that it happened. Um, you threw away that little dollhouse, right?

What's it a dollhouse? Well the dollhouse was bad juju What I would put like he had this weird little pink dollhouse that always made me feel it was saras Oh, that's why I didn't even know it was hers. I don't dislike her. I think she's a great girl But saras dollhouse was here and I would you it was gone The only reason I got rid of it is because it had a creepy vibe to it like something lived inside of it So it had little windows. I would cover with little index cards Yeah, it looked because she used to go to like thrift stores and buy these like weird shit Yeah, it didn't give me a good feeling

Yeah, she's like, yeah, I should get me and you guys, you know But she does have a jacket of mine, but I can never ask it for a bag, but I want it back Why can't you just ask for it back because it's like it's weird. Isn't I have to let her have it? No, it's a cool jacket. It's got a fucking it's got like a fucking lion in the bag It's a green military jacket with a gigantic lion embroidered. She's the wear it No, I don't she wears at the comedy store, but I saw yesterday. Mm-hmm. You know what I mean? Yeah, you do Do you know sarah highland not the girl from modern family, but that's

Yeah, I haven't seen her in a long time. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. She's a good back now on sundays. She's a friend, you know, she's cool Yeah, yeah, that didn't end. I'm sorry. I threw her dollhouse. I didn't even know it was hers until now Why did you even bring it up? I now I feel bad. I just wondering where it was. It has a spirit living inside it. She doesn't even know that Come on spirit Esther's ghost no guys I want to say that I want to I want to say this too guys and I excuse me for saying it but and I feel Really bad saying it but

Up until yesterday. I swear to god. I didn't know what red it was That's like not possible. You heard about it. I've heard about it, but I didn't know what it was. I thought it was illegal Oh, I see no, I see what you're saying elements of like if I go on it, right? That the fbi, you know, and the ci is gonna know my email at underground shit. Yeah But you just need facebook for that. Yeah, but then I I you know, I explored a little bit and I and I there's this thing Division morbid reality I clicked on that and then they have umbrellas under that as a tunnel and then people dying

Oh god, it's the worst. What? Yeah, and then I saw the first video I saw was this young kid 14 maybe Slicing a guy's head off that was alive. It was crazy in high depth. What? Yeah Yeah, just with the knife, you know, and I don't really she says I I can get PTSD from that I don't think that you have to feel a certain way while you watch it But it does creep into your subconscious and I don't think that it is healthy for you to I have a little more depressed. I have really have But he has this thing. He has a fascination for tragedy porn

He loves looking at like kids, you know that image of that of that young boy in syria covered in that soot and all that So sad like he loves that stuff and there there that is sexual way to do. Why'd you put porn in there? You don't have to say pouring kids. That is a that is a real sickness in america people love to feel bad and they go through They yeah, like for instance when do you hear about they do nothing you hear about the korean fairy? No Oh, yeah, okay. So there was this korean fairy right about right and there was these high school kids They're doing a field trip to an island off of korea And it sank and everyone died mostly kids mostly kids and

CNN had this video of a father korean father Seeing the body of a son, right? And you can't see his face. You just see the white tent and what you also see is like police officers are around the tent protecting it And you can hear the father mourn and grief, right? And all the police officers are crying, right? And I I watched that Probably a thousand times What could I cry?

I like crying, you know the story about that that the one of the teacher You know like the the teachers were at fault for that because they told all the kids to stay I know put yeah, and one of the teachers that survived hung himself. Oh, yeah, yeah He did hang himself by a tree. So you didn't know about that. Yeah, I didn't yeah when you said korean fairy I thought you were talking about like a serial killer called the korean Oh my god, yes Some guy in pink wings, you know, I mean you got the kill you. Yeah, I mean and also the captain of the ship Right is in prison for life. Yeah

Because he abandoned ship. He abandoned ship. Yeah If you're a captain just any captain is listening right now Not being real. I'm not it's not even a joke. Okay. Look at me right now If you're a captain of a fucking fairy or a cruise liner or anything of that sort And the fucking ship sinking. I better find your body on that fucking ship last one with the fucking passengers You should be the last motherfucker in there. Okay. You don't abandon ship. True. That's bad. It's bad I feel like you would be a captain who would abandon ship. There's no way you would stay on that Fucking shit like this

Is that really makes me fucking angry. Yes. There is an element. There is no element of that. A cowardice about you Here's the second fucking thing now It's a power couple at work right here. No, no, shut the fuck up Shut the fuck up. Gilbert Stop laughing. You're a runner. You run when shit gets bad You're not a relationship stayer even in relationships. If something remotely goes bad, you want to just run the other direction You don't want to fix things You're not a true captain of the ship

Stop. No, just it's okay. It's okay. It's okay. I just want to say this. Okay that Let me ask you something Am I a captain of a ship? Well, you always say you're the captain. I know. I know. I know. I know. Yeah, and this is because it's a metaphor metaphor, right? But am I a captain of a real ship? I'm asking a question. No, no, why? Because you wouldn't know how to steer a boat in the right direction. No, no because I can learn all that stuff. Why? Because when shit went down, I'd be the first one to leave the fucking boat

That's why I'm not one Nice, do you understand what I'm saying? Yeah, so I'm responsible enough to know that there's no There's no way I could be a captain of a ship Because I will leave that motherfucker and you will be eaten by a shark Okay, am I um in the military? No, because I will run. I will not fight These are things that I've made choices Early on in my life. I look at my life

I look at myself in the mirror and I know what my character defects are. Okay. I'm a coward I'm a pussy I don't fight All right, but there are I have assets too that I do and every human being should look at other faults under the weaknesses And they're pros and cons and go this is what I should do Okay, so that's what you're saying. But what you're saying right now is blasphemy I only speak the truth. What are things you don't like about yourself? What do you think are your most obvious character defects?

Uh Like Probably I tend to be pretty selfish because I was raised Mostly as an only child because my half sister was out of the house. So Yeah, and like being very needy and possessive over friends and people I'm dating and So those are your you still have those character defects? Yeah. Oh, yeah I a lot of my friends have come a long way, but I definitely still feel them because you've had squabbles with other comedians Have I that's squabbles, but with you know

I don't know if I say pass me the water. Which one this one. Okay Well, they're just been like you've been friends with a comedian and then there's been a fight and then I don't I wouldn't say that we were friends and there's a fight I would say that there are people that I don't get along with and try to avoid And like for a while you think like oh because I do the same thing as this person And we have to all be friends and hang out and then you mature and realize like actually I don't like this person's behavior So I'm just gonna not hang out with them. Uh, that's what it is. Maybe that yeah You're right

Which I think is totally fine. And I don't think that means that I'm bad or that person's bad or any of those people are bad I just think it's like oh well I'm not I don't know I like people who are a little more humble and little like less Self-obsessed even though I tend to be selfish. I don't think I'm self-obsessed self-obsessed. Yeah I mean, I know that you know, I could just name right now who doesn't like me Right vince von. Oh, yeah, I know that I'm just throwing it out there. Christopher Titus I didn't do anything to the guy. He just hates he thinks he doesn't like me

Yeah, isn't it kind of empowering to just be able to say that it almost makes them look stupid because it's like Why the fuck don't you like that like I don't know what it's fine. You don't have to like me, you know, I I I don't know anything about I think that's a character defect Um to to be kind of a people pleaser and to always want to be like, yeah, yeah That is just the most unrealistic thing you can ever ask and there are people who constantly seek that Yeah, and we'll kind of morph themselves into who they think that person will like more like it's uh Yeah, those are the dangerous types. I think people pleasers are probably one of the most dangerous types of people

Well, it's also just like I I can't imagine that that's anything but just being in a prison where you're like Oh my god, I you're at the whim of everyone around you basically. Yeah, you know what mitzi shore ones told me I swore to god. She told me I just back in the early like mid 90s I met mitzi and my friend freddy soto used to drive a limo and you should drive mitzi around freddy soto by the way anyone listening Is one of the funniest stand-ups I've ever seen he passed away But he is one of the funny looking like he's had specials. He's one of the funniest guys ever Okay, by the way

But uh mitzi told me once she goes, you know, you know what makes a star Like a what she goes You have to have half the audience love you And have half the audience hate you at the same time That's crazy and I go and I thought about that Right, so it's like if you try to like get everyone to like you, right? It's just like well, there's only a couple of stars in the world that have that

And they're enigma like tom hanks I've never heard anyone go. I hate that guy Actually, fuck force comp. I bet you there are because nobody are jennifer lorenz Everyone used to think she was the apple of everyone's eye and I think that you know even t swift Yeah, you know, there's you look at somebody like roseanne bar is divisive You know jim carrey

divisive Like half people like people I hate you all the whole time hated him from beginning to end He's so broad. He fired him. You know me hate, you know I think I think that it's really good to have people not like you And have enemies because you're doing something I've had people call in when I've done radio and said I just think that you're awful Oh, you want to have it with me and nick you stuff? What it was an unbelievable fucking believable. I was in orlando, okay? Where the tragedy happened?

So let's moment of silence, but then what happened once years ago. Oh, here's another. Oh, okay. I have to I thought No, here's okay. So So check it out I was in orlando at the improv and I couldn't get the back door to open You know to get to the green room So I had to go around but as I'm going around, right? I heard um a lady like talk about Each poster that's on the wall that she couldn't see me me and nick you stuff So she went to gabriel glaces photos. I love him, right?

I just want to hear what she said because I know she was going down the line Oh my god. D. L. Hugley. He's the best then she got to mind headshot, right? And she goes this guy right here is the Worst this lady He is the fuck. I hate him. He's not funny And then and then nick and I walk So that she can see us she goes i'm so sorry when she saw me and I just smiled Because I know that that's you know, not a bad thing But did you really smile? Were you dying? No, I was I was complaining for three hours

I know you and then when I was no way you were happy When I was but can I say this and I didn't know this but when I was in arlington, virginia two weeks ago A lady came up to me and she goes I used to go to virginia tech you perform there and I go Oh, yeah, I completely forgot I go when did I perform there like two weeks before chosung we? Oh Geez Speaking of um colleges. Do you perform a colleges at all? No, I never have

So the university of chicago Bless chicago for this basically put out a statement to all parents of incoming freshmen saying like look We're not going to coddle your children. We're not going to do these um trigger warnings And they're going to be exposed to some things. They're going to be uncomfortable with they don't agree with and that's probably going to like You know shock them, but we're not going to coddle them anymore Isn't that fucking great that people are actually standing up to the fact that like a bunch of these college kids Are just turning into these god-awful pussies It's like that's why like no one wants to no comedy comedians want to perform at colleges and colleges used to be the best thing in the 80s

What do you mean like doing kaka? No in the 70s and 80s like people wouldn't want to perform A colleges because that was where you would get open thinkers free free thinkers, you know um a lot of liberals people with different ideas extreme ideas sometimes and you'd perform and um, but now It's so pc. I did a show in what was that new ham shore or some Some play like that and the next day they wrote an article saying that bobby lee Perpetuates rape culture Yeah

I don't have I don't have a single. He doesn't have a single rape rape joke in my act. What? Yeah And I literally was livid and I said to I call my age. I go that's it No more colleges for instance like now teachers are required because you know like college professors They're not safe unless they have tenure right which they have to be in the game for a certain amount of time um But previous to that they can get not they cannot get rehired They can get fired anything anything that they you can't be a boat rocker in your early years of teaching You cannot rock the boat. You can't you can't have a student complain about you

So for instance even reading something like the great gatsby the trigger warning is always you're going to be exposed to Misogyny and the idea of like, um, I don't know like let's say assault There has to be now college students are demanding that there are warnings before they read a book They watch a movie before anything that they're exposed to anything that they could possibly dislike. They want a warning. Wow Isn't that fucking crazy so weird, especially like I was just in college. I don't know like seven years ago How is it that different all of a sudden it is very different So a lot of people like some 28 mostly 28 year olds don't even have have zero Relateability to kids who are 24 who just got out of college like they can't relate to those kids

And it's only like a four-year gap Because of the like the just the difference in culture and for instance like George and I were talking about like microaggressions They teach this in college where a simple question like hey like where are you from is now we're supposed to take that Offensively we're supposed to take that as oh, you're not being racially or culturally sensitive to me And what you're saying it's the liberals fault, right? It's not It is it is it's both it's So everything is to be taken as hostile and derogatory like here here's an example of some microaggression questions for you guys

When you say No, but I'll stop stop. I'm gonna tell you why now and we talked about this a fucking month ago You were right in that I saw your side of it. No, no, I'm not I feel like an idiot because you explain your side better before I can talk No, no, but I'm gonna say this why is I already gave you the example right of me doing a NACA conference, right? and all the religious schools Walked out of my show and the liberal schools stayed Okay, they're more open-minded

Yeah, they are They might they might accept they accept gays. No, no, no, sweetie You're they invented microaggressions and all of this you're right because look they stand on the right side of social justice But they're on the wrong side of actual freedom of speech They're they're on the right side when it comes to gay rights and women, you know Like wage gaps and things of that sort, but in terms of freedom of speech, you're not allowed to say shit if you're a hyper liberal Like you everything offends you george is right For instance, this is one of them. Even if you say

If you say something like this is a microaggression a perfect example Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just get really OCD about that type of stuff That's you being insensitive to someone possibly having a mental illness and they can they can report you for a microaggression That's just insanity. That's a fright. I just like that's I'm sorry, that's I've never heard of that. I'm so ADHD about this. Oh, wow, Esther. That's that's I've never heard but see the thing is Baby, I've never heard of that before I've never heard of that before. Professor. There's a professor from like North Carolina who actually Created this a list of microaggressions that we're supposed to take as hostile and derogatory

So a lot of these kids are now thinking they're victims of these aggressions I've never heard of it. So I don't know if that's so crazy I mean, all I feel like I can do about that is just continue to be me And if someone does accuse me of that just be like you're that's the way you feel then this conversation shouldn't Yeah, that's how I am too. It's like it's like listen to mommy, but adiolat Esther got you. Well, we got time over for question whenever you're ready. What time were we at an hour over an hour? Wow Esther's great. That was great. You don't ever do an hour for an hour. Well, we do Yeah, but that was smoothly smooth. Yeah

Well, we're gonna I'm gonna talk about this later with you. Okay And you're fucking you're all right. Anyway, give me the question. All right bear with me. My voice is out We do questions a helpful advice with bobby kalyla and the little child alien Uh, this question is from our friend Bianca. Sorry guys. Gilbert's voice is out of commission. This is for everyone This is for everyone, but mainly bobby Hey, bobby So I know that you smoke a lot and eat junk food and don't like to exercise My dad is similar. Come on. Don't make fun of me, man. I don't see it again then. Do you want me to read it?

Yeah, I can't understand what a word you're saying. I'm an actor. I'm an actor. I'm a trained actor. I can do this Can you go higher though? Come on, man. Try So I know that Yeah, yeah, we tried. All right. Hey bobby So I know that you smoke a lot and eat junk food and don't like to exercise My dad is simpler. He's in his 60s and has diabetes and it's extremely difficult to motivate him to get healthy I've noticed that more of my mom nags him to exercise and eat well the more he doesn't do it in spite of her I'm sure Kalila is experiencing this

I can get him to exercise if there is some and point we're heading towards but that's about it Coming from your perspective, what do you think is the best way to motivate you to exercise slash eat well and be healthy? Or is it totally a lost cause now that you're set in your ways? We can all answer this I don't think it is. I think that listen if if It's all depends on the individual it's like Like if he doesn't if he knows If that it's gonna kill him He should know that like I know cigarettes are gonna kill me. I know it. I'm gonna die from it

I think there's a part of me that's accepted that You know, so it's like, you know It depends on how he if he wants to live he'll change And if he doesn't want to then he won't This can be one of the most Frustrating positions to be in like when someone you love All you want is for them to be healthy and happy and live a long good life And you can't control that is such a frustrating like I feel Bianca right now. It's like

Ugh, it's inferior. You have somebody in your life that example. Yeah Well, I sometimes I feel like that with my boyfriend like He that's why I love him. He's just not I do I love him and maybe this is me being I don't I don't I don't it's like I don't He's private, but I know he is, you know, I just there are certain ways He could be healthier and I try and it's hard because I'm not health that all that healthy either But it's like see Dave and I have the same body. Yeah, okay. We have the same nails We do we bite our nails. Yes. You have club fingers. Does he have club fingers?

He but I don't know but he definitely like bites his nail skin to the blood till those blood Yeah, he likes to make himself bleed. Yeah. Yeah, and I to me. It's just can't be good. I know But when I look at David, I look at a jew Jewish version of me. I do. Yeah When I look at him like we're the same type. We're hilarious. You know to us. We're hilarious, right? We're creative But we look like we're we look weird physically. We've accepted that over the years I'm not going to be fucking Brad Pitt ever So what do you do? Do you nag him? Do you do you try how do you?

Trick him. Yeah. Have you given up or did you it's a little bit of everything? Like I try to be one thing that helps is like being playful and sweet about it instead of being nagging Like because that nagging and being nasty never works So I I find that you have to come at it from like a place of love and something a fun way Even though that might seem hard like I don't know like a game that That I mean this is so stupid and embarrassing But like sometimes if days like I really want dessert and like I know I do too But I'm really in my mind. I'm like fuck. That's all I want is ice cream and cookies right now

but I'm trying to you know be an actress and Uh, so I'll say like okay if we just go to bed if you just go to bed and wait 30 minutes cookies will appear Oh Yeah, no like it just like magically they'll I'll bring you cookies because I know he'll fall asleep I mean, that's so embarrassing. It works though, but that has worked a little bit Come on Dave a few months, but it hasn't worked lately Yeah, um, but I don't I think maybe like just trying to get someone to exercise

Maybe like getting them a fit better like my sneakers or you know I don't know. Oh, yeah, that doesn't work with him because he I asked him the same question Bianca is asking which is what what will it take for you to You know consider a lifestyle change and he's like I need a doctor to tell me I am completely unhealthy and that I'm probably gonna die this way So I was like, okay, I'll make you a doctor as appointment doctor basically told him that Nothing has changed That must be so frustrating for you because you're a nurse. It's uh, it's but then you

You know what my dad was similar He just like He liked what he wanted, you know, he wanted to eat what he wanted to eat. Yeah, there's really no It's hard. I understand it, you know, like I eat bacon a lot and I know that how bad bacon is like it's processed me It's red meat. It's so bad for you. And I don't know bacon's the best. I just like when it's in front of me I can't not eat it. So it's like I get it So what's this show that the call that you and benji I know and I know it's gonna get picked up So tell me what the show is Bobby. That is makes my heart so warm. I know it's gonna get picked. So tell me

That's crazy. I know what it's called because I watched it Alone together. It's called alone together. I love it. Thank you really cute. Thank you And also, what else can we people look out for you and I have a podcast which I need to get Bobby's been on and he's Been the favorite guest of all all 100 episodes. Bobby's is the favorite episode. He just come on and abuse you Yes, it was he did and I'm trying to get Kalylan. I think we're gonna try and do it this week And gilbert too and it's called weird adults with little ester You like that nickname little ester? Yeah, you're not little anymore. I don't like that. You know what if you ever want to branch out out of being like a comedian

You could you could have your own cosmetic line You look so Young ester. I'm so obsessed with makeup right now. It's like but you wear none Which is like you're so alicia keys right now. You're just going just bare face. You know I have some eyeliner on but or should I say kyliner kyliner Do you bleach your teeth? No, they're so white very white really my dad always says that I'm like, what is he trying to get from me? Nothing, which is a compliment

I don't say nice things to my daughter. Do I have anything plug? I'm doing austin dallis. You're doing braya first braya Yeah, he doesn't know his own day. Wait. Am I doing San Francisco with you or did that pass? No, I haven't done it yet. Okay. You can do it. Okay. Yeah. I'm doing austin dallis houston oddball Yeah, but before that he is doing laboria Brea improv. Yeah on this weekend of the 16th of september. Yep and then um And then that movie comes out in november, right? October which one keeping up with the jones's. Oh, yeah

And then I oh and then that other one that I'm in a youtube movie. Yeah, I mean late in america Where would you be without koala? Honestly, I'm my opinion about that. I'll just say that right now that I um I met my match. Yeah, you know, she She makes me so angry sometimes I love it and I make faces like You know, I'm in Do you and Dave fight hard? No for instance, I'll give you an example just now earlier, right?

It's like I'm in a vanguard In in playing video games in the middle of vanguard Where's where you say where's my sandals? Would you say because you stole my sandals and you stretched them out earlier with your white ass hobbit? I don't care. I'm in the vanguard with two people. I don't know and as soon as I turned I died Now these two people have to revive me that I don't know. It's rude I think you suck. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's rude. I can't just leave. She thinks I could just leave I can't leave because their whole game is fucked then

These two innocent people and I get upset that he's upset that I interrupted him because I'm actually interrupting him for something Real like I couldn't I don't have slippers and my sandals were gone So like what the fuck and I had to take the puppy down. I know I'm sorry, baby You're right and I'm not gonna wear your god-awful crocs downstairs. Why are you wearing crocs? What I don't like your tone I don't number one. Oh my god. He has about 16 pairs. He even has the special edition duck dynasty pair Do you know why I wear crocs? Why? Because I was in Hawaii the last time we were in Hawaii And I saw a couple of Japanese dudes

right Who were like, you know how Japanese they're they're future cool. Yeah, okay, these two are future cool Like dope as fuck. They had tats Perfect ones. Okay. They were wearing fucking clothes Clothes you can't even fucking find in America, right? And they were wearing crocs. It looked dope, bro. I like it. Yes. What I'm saying as soon as I saw that I go Why can't I wear them because People in our society make fun of them. Yeah, but you have stubby legs

They just look strange on you. I I I understand that when I see someone who looks cool doing something. I'm I'm sold I'm susceptible To future you're right. Yeah, I get it. When he goes to Barney's he always asks the when he buys some colognes and stuff Or scents he never wants to smell good. He wants to smell like an old Greek church. Like he wants to smell Um futuristic like no, I want to smell like no, I don't want to smell like Steve Trevino like some mexican comic How does Steve Trevino smell like he just smells like dracar all the time dracar, right? So I don't want to smell like him. I don't want to smell like Brent Ernst Who's probably wearing like David off. Yeah, aqua to do something like that, right? Curve

I want to smell when people smell me they go Do you just come from a you know, I mean a wood factory or you know, I mean Or were you in a different country or you know, like I want people to Right go. What the hell is that smell mystery like a mystery? Yeah, really repulsive some of the scents he buys Yeah, anyway, I love you though You guys she's so good for you. All right Yeah, I already know I already know that I already I know I already know that you always have to be on his side ester

I know because he knew you were friends with him first There's gonna they're gonna be some like resentments if you don't No, I don't give a fuck. No, I don't even see there being sides. Okay. Good. Yeah, we're wanting to say we're all the same It doesn't fuck it. Thank you so much. And I want to say thank you so much for doing our podcast. Thanks for having me I love you Bye, I love you guys Anything else you want to plug shows wise this week? Just my podcast weird adults on itunes for my and your handles

at little ester and ester monster on instagram and snapchat Yeah, I'm sure you felt tiger belly at tiger belly on instagram on and twitter at the tiger belly and email Are we gonna play fifa one game do one game and email? I've been practicing and email uh just like be on because you want to send an email you can do it at the tiger belly at gmail.com client anything else my voice is bleeding. Um, you can find me on snapchat twitter and and instagram at Flammity K. And that's it. Bye. See you next week. Ciao Hey prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast

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