TigerBelly - Episode 60: Off the Wall

Episode Date: September 28, 2016

Captain Bobo gets coach'd. Khaly likes Mickey. Gilbert is LAPD We talk George Stanpopolis, in-house fucking, and comradery in space.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today What I'm keeping secrets to myself right now I just feel like a lot of love is in the air right now the energy I believe that people have been Penetrating each other and open mouth I believe that I I

Believe that George and your friend Jessica. There's something going on there. I'll tell you why First of all, if you guys don't know George, um, hey one second. Yeah, are you being serious? I'm just gonna got theories. Listen. I'm just gonna talk and then you just listen. Okay, you can interrupt me if you shall But I will I will continue. Okay. I don't know if you guys know but George Kimmel, um, I Was viewed I used I used to I used to view George Kimmel as a moracy asexual Because I look at them when I first met him. I was just like I like that white dude, but there's just nothing I would never fuck him

You fuck a guy you would I would never fuck you with our Gilbert. You're too soft You're like weird. I hate your face. Oh, thanks, but I think your soul is pretty good But um, so I met George. He seems very sex asexual to me and then um, but just so we're I've never met Just shut the fuck up for a second. Okay. I've never met anybody's ever seen. Okay. He's brought people around like, yeah We went on a date. Come on but um, so George has been hanging out with um Khalilah's best friend Jessica and they went to San Diego yesterday to go see what are those things called? No, that's the

Sharks, but the only reason yes, the only reason they went together was because we were all supposed to be a trio Going to San Diego. I'm sick. Stop. So I bailed stop time out for a second if I was single and Let's just say my friend Charlie right yeah said me and Let's just this girl named Carolina Mm-hmm, right and you we're gonna go to see sharks in San Diego that in itself. I'd be like, I'm fucking not doing that I'm not doing that. I don't want to go to San Diego. I don't want to see sharks. Yeah, I want to stay home

But even if Charlie goes, please I'm dying from AIDS and I'm only gonna be on earth for a year I might do it. Okay. The second he pulls out Right and he goes it's now just me and Carolina It's she it's it's I would have to want to fuck her For me to go down there with her. Oh naturally instincts. I'm not wasting my time So if Carolina's I'm single remotely hot. I Might do it but that is the only condition if she's somebody that I just want to be friends with and whatnot, right? I ain't going to fucking Sandy or nowhere with that fucking bitch. That's you know, there. No, that's all guys

No, they're plenty. That's that's just like saying George and I sometimes we spend a whole day together running errands or Gilbert and I They see them as my brothers. Sometimes you can view them. They don't want to fuck bitch. That shit is business I got belly. Please tag about business. Okay. What am I missing? Who is fucking? I Believe George, are you fucking George and Jessica are seeing each other? Let me ask you a question I was you find your attractive. I was trying to eat her, but you do find your attractive. That's great. That right there is Huge is not the key. That's the key not only the key keys That's the camera keys. He's the key keeper, dude. Wow number one. Okay, so number two and Look at me right now, man

Look at me right now right right now. Okay, and I'm telling you right now if you ever fucking lie to me especially on tape Because we're being recorded right now on tape that right there it goes if you lie to me on tape man That's that's the end. I can't work with people that lie on tape But not on tape. Oh, you can lie to me all day all you want. Okay, so look at me right now, man Have you ever kissed Jessica ever? Wucky's not lying. That's great. Let me ask you another question. Do you want to kiss Jessica? Oh my god? Oh

This is like high school over there. I love it. Do you love it? She's sweating. Do you? George don't answer that question. Please George, please don't because All right, you don't have to answer the question But I'm going to say something right now if he doesn't answer the question that that to me means we ain't friends That George to me is now an acquaintance An acquaintance is I can clip Before you answer that question before you answer that question you can answer that question But let me just say something why I feel it's a conflict of interest

I Jessica is has been my best friend since I was 15 years old, right? We've been friends for 16 years She's she's my sister George is somebody that not only I he isn't just an acquaintance He isn't somebody I just like but I respect and I revere and I hold him in such high regard Why because he's done so much for us. She's such a He's like the fucking most reliable person on this planet. Yeah, but he ain't like he's my second wife He really is

He's my second wife in the sense that like he is the man in our relationship. Whoa So you have George is part of your relationship. Stop not in that way, but I don't understand what you even mean by that second why Yeah, please Explore that topic and let me understand what you're saying So go ahead. Don't put your foot on me too when you're doing for instance when you're on the road And you're saying Kalilah I want you to have a UFC party because I want my brother and everyone to watch the fights

And I say, you know, I'm not really comfortable having 20 people over when you're not in town and so I I then Throw it all on George. Uh-huh when you're not around. I'll tell you why though. It's still business It's it is business, but when you're not around George will then take over and host the whole party for me in your house It's business. Yeah, but it but that's what I'm saying like in that sense He he makes up or he does things that we're not very good at that's fine And I trust George when it comes to okay, let me proceed everything about this podcast in terms of

Promotion or he goes you got to go to alohumra Uh-huh. You know what I mean and go do that thing with the fucking Asian kids JK. I'll go. Yeah, I'll do it because he's smart And this is business. Yeah, just sturdy and reliable right but still Let me finish my point more conflict of interest because I like them all so much because we are a family We see each other multiple times just has nothing to do with this business But she's my best friend. I understand but I have nothing to do with this right which even makes it more conflicting for me for you because I Not for Bobby if I there's nothing more that I want for my best friend than a guy like George

It would make me the happiest person on earth, but should it not work out all of three of us are stuck We're stuck in a weird place. Oh, we got it. We can't invite Jessica because George is coming Can't fight invite George because Jessica's coming to me. Nope. Yes, because that's happened then Jessica doesn't come Oh, I mean, that's it. That's it. I don't come. Yeah, you are coming. You live here. You live here. I haven't come in three months Because we aborted the situation we I aborted the situation Joke time USA joke time and it's called fun facts fun facts So what I'm saying to you right now is this okay?

I'm just asking him a question. He can do whatever he wants because what you just said right now is your opinion about why It should or shouldn't happen too close to close the family. I'm not asking. I'm asking him. Does he want to Have a romantic relationship with her do you Don't look at me George. That's all that you don't have to say anything say no more say no more Yeah, okay, and I want to talk about how beautiful you look today, baby I'm doing the whole Alicia keys. No makeup thing. Is that what it is? So beautiful. Shut the fuck up. You told me to prop you with that How dare you? Hey, first of all, don't tell me shut up. You said prop you with that. Now yesterday

I got in trouble with Kalaila Um Because um, I don't know if you guys know this. I want to talk about my weekend. First of all I'm just gonna tell you what I went through this weekend. Okay Well, it started last week last week. I don't know if you know this but um, the new DLC came out for destiny And it's called the rise of iron and um, as you know, I'm addicted to the game and You have to work really hard to catch up

with everyone else You can't do there's this thing called the um nightfall Vanguard mission you can't do it if you're not a 360 light level Okay, so you have to do you have to at least get to there. I'm not there. I'm at 351 So what needed to happen was as soon as the DLC dropped I should have just been playing Because coke my friend coke era coke from the ufc. He played to a 24 hours straight with his friend Holy shit. That's why he's at a

37 anyway, but then I did oddball this weekend Comedy festival. It's a comedy festival in texas and I just want to tell people about my experience with it. Okay oddball is one of those things that I I secretly always wanted to do because All the cool kids were doing it chappelle. Amy Schumer um All of them as ease as eyes as as as awesome. Yeah, as our sorrow. Okay

And I have never been asked. I've never even thought I could ever go Because I always feel like I'm not relevant or I'm just out of the loop And they asked me this year to only do three Okay, and I want to tell people live nation and people are funny or die Thank you so much for the experience and I really enjoyed myself I did it with dain all right who

Was hot and cold with me all weekend your beef. Well, here's what happened. This is what happened I show up to the airport Thursday morning to go to houston And when I go on the road everybody and it's not that I can't afford it I fly coach I always do I tried to

At when mad tv got canceled to do first class because I thought I was a star but I'm not You know me, so I just went you know what I'm going to do coach for the rest of my life It's fine. My ego can take it I show up and tom sagura

Dane cook fuck and sebastian mano scolco all had first class So you had to pass them so they got on first And then I started sweating And then I kind of went I can't walk by them right So they call I'm like what zone number 15 You know what I mean? I'm the last guy right I show I come on right. I'm now worried two things

When your Coach and your zone number 15 you don't even know if your shit's going to be able to get on the plane You have to you know sometimes all the overhead compartments are filled Filled and you they have to check your bag in so that's my number one fear But also along that is walking by the three So I walk on and they're sitting there and immediately all three of them start laughing like little kids in my face You know me I mean And when you're coming on a flight like that you're not zipping past fucking first class standing

You're standing because there's always two old people You know I mean that takes some fucking 20 minutes to get their fucking thing on the thing All right, so I'm standing there right and then dane goes big fan man And then they started laughing again, right? And it was just I'm blushing sweating and crying at the same time It's really sad Then I finally get past them and in my head. I'm like I'm gonna fire everybody involved Man is God this is

Is it is a crime? What happened? It doesn't end Through the whole flight These fuckers they go keep going back there. God damn it and throwing blankets at me First-class pillows, right? Right had one time one of what steward goes. They just wanted to say hi from the first class You knew it was all three all three of them, right? It was

humiliating to say the least We do the gig right number one I don't know if anyone's a stand-up listening to me But doing an outside event in front of thousands of people is very difficult. Okay, but I did it And the whole weekend was great. I I got to know tom segura really well And let me say my fucking opinion about tom segura He is a 10

And I'm about to cry He's a good dude His special is my favorite of the year. Was it last year? He's a good dude And I'm another fucking I'm going to tell you another person, right? Wally Wong Wally Wong or no Allie Wong Allie Wong. Yeah, I'm about to cry Fucking good girl, man. You guys go way back too. We go way back, you know, but

um to see how much she has grown Is really just an amazing thing to see And I love Asian comedy as you know that fan number one One of my faves dynamic was he there? No, okay Well, aren't you the only comic that didn't have a car to pick you up to from the airport? Yeah, yeah, what? So I show up and there's I have to take a now a cab A yellow cab and everyone has limos Jesus, right?

And this is why I I love tom I'm outside And he could have should have because you know first class they leave the flight I'm the last seat. So as soon as I get off the flight, they're gone. There's nobody which I wanted. Yeah So I'm slowly getting through I go outside Tom sugera waited for me. He goes. I don't think you have a ride. Do you? No No, that's what I heard

And I said no yet and he goes I'll give you a ride And he gave me a ride and then um, he did that a couple times, man and then um And then after austin saturday night They invited me to dinner. It was me. I alley tom sugera and uh an agent and um Jermaine Fowler, I love him too You know jimmy faller. I haven't seen this stuff. Yeah. Yeah, he's a skinny little. He's not that skinny

Yeah, he's very skinny. He's kind of handsome. He's very handsome black guy. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, he's young. He just got on a show. I don't know what it was but He him and I shared a room All our dressing room was just me and oh, I thought you've been shared hotel rooms That poor Damn your finances are yeah. Yeah, but I just want to say that I want to say That the whole thing was great and I just anyone listening right now If you're if you like tom sugera

like him more Also, I I did shows with also aliza. Love her. Okay Day, you know, I like, you know, why do you say hiding cold with him? Just because some days he wouldn't talk to me. It's fine You know what I mean and sebastian. I mean he I went to his wedding. He's one of the best comics in the country and um But you know, I came home and I um needed to catch up On the destiny because everyone did I played the whole time I was gone and now i'm behind

And I played yesterday, but I got in trouble Why'd he get in trouble kalayla? Um, let's see. He comes through the door drops his suitcase gets a hog and doze Yeah, I used to before he doesn't finish the hog and doze makes it makes it melt on the floor Wait, what Yeah, and a span of three minutes turns our home into an absolute just like crime scene Yeah, the watches the dog, you know piss in front of him on the floor And then proceeds to scream for 10 hours straight at the tv. I mean tell me

What what type of person I would have to be To not at least be to be even you know annoyed and I didn't That I was trying to communicate to him and then he goes. Oh, hey, I'm going to dinner with eric at 7 30. Mind you. I've been sick all weekend. Then offer me no food Then offer me no meds and offer me a kisser hug Shut the fuck up with your oh man. You didn't kiss me right now. Wait. Wait. Wait. Stop right now. No, stop right here, babe

I'm sorry. I apologize, but I want to look at me right now If you ever give me a fucking oh like that again my friend, all right, you you have another thing coming Which is I don't know Oh god, it's a mystery. It's a mystery. It's a mystery one. All right So I want you to a fucking apologize Gilbert. I'm sorry that I said oh when you didn't kiss your girlfriend when you got home You're welcome And I forgive you. Oh go ahead, baby um

I mean it's the same argument we always have I have a pretty high threshold for video game She does she's the best girlfriend in the world. I don't tell him when to stop I don't give him like baby baby, but yesterday I was sick and I just needed a little bit of like Hi, Kalyla. I know you exist and you're sick and you're dying on a bed. I needed just just an ounce of it I know that's it and I was trying to communicate that to him and all he said to me was I'm after playing 10 hours He says I don't want to talk about it. I'm too tired. I need a nap and then he goes Does he talk to me? Okay, and then he wakes up he goes to dinner and then at dinner he realizes

Is what no he had done. I guess stop stop stop stop stop stop stop. Okay. Number one. Okay. I want you to apologize What for what? I want you to apologize right now. Kalyla For what just to do it He always makes me do this. Yeah. Yeah, just to do it. You say I am so sorry You know what bobby? I really am sorry that you have just zero zero capacity to empathize. I heard sorry and that's all I need to do and number two Okay, I invited you to dinner and number three. I'm going to tell you what happened at dinner

Oh, oh what happened at dinner? So number one. I had dinner with um fat black Eric Griffin everyone knows Fat black. Yeah, and um fat black. What does he call you? Oh god stop man But anyway, um Gook fat something like that. Oh, man. I think I've heard that one. Yeah, and we go to um parks now I don't know if you guys know my relationship with parks barbecue on vermont

But for many many years I'd had to walk in there And there was all these celebrity photos of people that've been in there Some that you know, you never even fucking heard of You have an asian wall of fame. Yeah, I've no idea who those people and um our photo was on there and one of our um Lans compliment pig Complement pig walked into parks barbecue

And put up a photo of me in fucking kalayla And they framed it Amazing and then they put it up there. He framed it and he put it on the wall. He did. Yep, but parks kept it up there But guess what happened yesterday? No I walk in it's gone It's fucking god. They took it down. No No, they put it upstairs, but no one eats upstairs. Exactly. I didn't know there wasn't upstairs I never knew there was even an upstairs. I thought that was like for private parties. I almost went to eric

We might have to eat somewhere else This is blasphemy And this is I was called the cops. I don't know what I would have said But I was dead. Hey, los angeles police. Um, yeah, um, hi. Hello. Who is this? I've spent about I don't care Okay, you don't need to know We're the cops. All right. Fine. All right. I want you to say this. Um, I've spent about, um, probably about Over my lifetime $10,000 at this restaurant. Okay, sir. And I'm kind of a celebrity Who are you? Bob

Bob that's all I need to say Bob just bob. Yes. Okay, you know who I am. Yeah, you're the guy from Holy shit that voice Man TV Bobby Lee. Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah, Charles Charles. All right, Charles. I don't even talk to officer Charles I don't talk to officer Charles. Sorry. Sorry, Bobby Lee. Bobby Lee. And so check it out dog. Um, and I'm Korean, right? Yeah, he said right in parks. What kind of restaurant is it Korean right owned by what Korean? That's right dog And I want to say officer that um, anyway, um I put a photo of me because there's a celebrity wall and this there's my photo was on I put it up there

And then they took it down and I want to call it. I'm gonna. That's what I'm calling you Charles He doesn't need to get okay. We'll take care of it. Okay. Thank you. That's what I wanted. Wow, right shit great police But can I say something? That's not what they took it up What do you think is why I'll tell you why you don't know why I do know why Let me fucking finish the story, man Drink dinner

Female lady she's a god here. She's a god God, right? She goes, hello I go, hi your photo is upstairs That's it. No, I go, oh Okay, and I know right that we didn't put the photo in the room in the restaurant. She called me out I go, yeah, I know just it's okay Because I have big failures, right? I go. Oh cool. She goes, but the reason why you're up there is because the photo down here Have to be with me

You guys took a picture. So we took a photo there. It is right and now I'm on the wall the legit Wow You're saying the bitch wanted to nix me. She took out the client. She did God damn it. She did she nixed you and she doesn't and also eric riffin got all mad Because what about me, man? Like he said it out loud. Who's a fat black? Yeah, who's fat black? Who's fat black? I go, he's just some sort of superhero fat black, you know, you know, and um, he couldn't get on the wall All right, he comes a little mad about that. But so that happened and I want to apologize

To you since you're sorry about your behavior yesterday. I want to apologize about my behavior and now we're even how did you still haven't explained Your whole apology and why it happened at parks. That's why you apologize is because you you were You started being a good mood that someone took a photograph with you. No No, why why did you text me from park saying? I'm sorry, babe. I love you Why because I felt bad at parks

when you Why because all of a sudden your brain then the nutrients hit your brain and you realized you had made a mistake Yeah, okay, it makes sense. He was just I didn't sleep that night Right. I had two hours sleep because I took a fucking early flight from Austin I started playing all day long I hadn't eaten really there's such a liar Because when you came home, you were like I paid extra to fly home first class so I could sit with the boys and oh my god

I slept the whole flight night. Yeah, that's what three hours two three hours of flight So when I need eight hours, that's how my body works. Okay. Well, I mean Jesus, babe I just you know, we both apologized to each other And I thought it was even I think we're even at this point. We're good. Yeah, we're good And everything's under the water, but you know bridge under the bridge. Yeah, you know and then um I also saw a movie You know, I saw a movie in Austin and I didn't like it lights out It was the horror movie. Oh and the lights. Yeah, she's a lady. I saw a trailer for that

Was it scary? No It was not scary and I want to talk about the people that are now In london at the um late in america premiere As you know, am I boring everybody in the room? No, no, no, I just needed to sneeze. No, I feel right now I feel right now Yeah, that you guys aren't giving a shit what i'm saying right now. You said late in america

You want to plug your movie? No, I'm not plugging the movie. I'm not plugging the movie. Yeah You know what, man? You know what, man? I want to go to the premiere. I want to go to the premiere. You know what, man? You know what? Your attitude lately has been out of fucking control, man In what way just interesting. You're just like, you know, you're entitled and you entitled. Yeah, yeah, yeah You know what? I want you to apologize. I just broke the Guinness world record I want it for the longest unpaid internship ever for the company It's still going long. It's almost a year. What internship with tiger belly. Okay. Stop. I've dedicated my I might boil tt

You know, we might have to even turn the cameras off and the fucking thing. All right, I'm not gonna don't do it Okay Oh god I told Kalilah this many times. Okay that When I is we started doing this I was like, I don't really know how to go about it and we need an engineer. We need somebody that's gonna um Fit but I don't really know anybody, right? And we found you

And many times I've told Kalilah How lucky Are we to have that guy? Not only one. He's funny number two. He kind of just fits, you know in the group and you just have a Let me finish You you're ungrateful I fucking knew it. I fucking knew I was waiting. I wouldn't look at me in the eye. Yeah, you're ungrateful

Because I have said those things about you. Yeah, and I've tried to help you help me piece of shit Help me a lot. I have a compliment. Don't pay rent. I understand that but I'm not done with what I'm saying Okay, I'm not ungrateful This podcast is growing Thank you. I know that Sorry, shout out to them Shout out to the listeners Okay, are you done? I'm sorry. Shout out to them. Shout out to you. Shout out to the listeners and the listeners. Yeah, I love them

Okay, but this thing is growing And what we have 300,000 downloads last month 350 right? We're almost at a point where we're gonna make money and I fucking you fucking You asshole I already told you that you're gonna get a cut of it. Yeah, all right. You're not an intern. You're a part of it Okay So when you fucking start crying about oh, I haven't gotten fucking paid Hey, I had nervous throw man. Don't throw pens in here

You two men you want to fuck jessica You fucking say it. You want to fuck jessica and that's her friend and you're a fucking, you know what you're you're in-house fucking Can I say in-house fucking? Okay. I have a question for you guys. I'll say I'm a little Are you jealous because you try to make a play for her in the beginning. There was a point when I was trying I really was trying to eat her butt. You wanted to eat her butt. Yes, remember? I felt safe. Yeah around her butt. I know you say you you told me stories about what she's come from the monster that she is But I was interested in eating her butt out. Okay, and then this fucker Gets a swim with sharks with her in a bathing suit. Oh my god. Did you guys okay? I have a question

Did you finger in the water? Okay, uh, george Um, this this is my question to you guys. What is your mode of approach? Are you somebody if you're interested in somebody? Do you just say hey like? I'm interested in you. Get on the mic george. Get on the fucking mic now. Get on the mic okay My question is this because it is a little bit of a delicate matter because you know, this is like We're working with family and friends and we're a very like, um close knit Circle so everybody is in on this information. My question is this if he ever does pursue it

It can never be casual It has to be it has to be something serious. It's not like they can both be like, you know what let's just fuck And then see if we like each other if we even are connected or we have chemistry And if it doesn't work out, let's just you know Go back to how it was. It makes it a little bit weird. They would either have to enter it Seriously or not at all Like what do you how do you even did you when you said fuck just now? Yeah I literally almost vomited

Small intestines out of my mouth That's like Gandalf and Yoda fucking like I don't ever want to see it or envision it I want I want to adopt your babies. I just want to say I want to adopt your babies. I'm not I'm not I want to So That brings up a question Bobby. Have you ever dated a Korean? Yes, I have Yeah, how many really one one Oh, yeah, I knew this already. Yeah

Well, would that stop it with that fucking line of thinking what are you gonna attack me on dude? Because you're not acting up very white right now Hey, George's ex-girlfriend is a really hot black chick. Just so you know. Yes For a year very hot black chick model. All right So go ahead attack me. I just lost it every time I get a fucking mic. I lose my attack Because you bring up one piece of information Which negates all of my yeah, he brought that out which negates my whole argument Let's go ahead because you know why I'm crafty. Baby. Let the man speak. All right, my bad. Let the fucking man speak my god

Speak George. I was gonna bring you up as being a racist against Korean girls. Oh That's so fucking ridiculous. You're waging a war George. Oh, yeah, my mother's Korean. You fucking piece of shit My grandmother's Korean. Okay, that's why you don't want to fuck him. I hope I have fucked him before In fact, I fucked I you know, they said I'm gonna see this right now And if you're listening to Christians right if you're Christian right now or a Christian scientist turn it off or if you're anything like that I have fucked when I was in Thailand Gilbert how many fucked girls I fucked up hot

20 prostitutes in Thailand when I was a I love him raw dog me too guys. Yeah, and I let her ride on keep that in mind. I'm unbreakable My dick is unbreakable. Okay, so you can't use the race card because I've I've penetrated like all kinds of shit even dudes God bobby tmi can we I've penetrated dudes before I or try to okay, so what is your argument my friend? Well, let's go back to my question George. I hate losing arguments Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's go back to the question at hand here

The question was to you because it is such a delicate matter because she is my best friend and we're all kind of tighten it How do you approach something like that? Are you tentative? Are you, you know, do you Could you guys like carry on like a sexual casual relationship to figure it out before you even decide if you want to date Or would that be too weird if it didn't work out like something casual just sex um What is my approach on women? What's uh, which question are we asking? What's uh, I'm gonna make it very simple for you my friend God damn it I'm gonna make it very clear and simple for you my friend

If you I already know you like her So that's you can't argue that it might be mutual. It's not it might be okay, but if you can't fucking land her then It'll be shame on the fucking podcast Yeah, I'll tell you why because guess who did Stop it. Stop what why can't we why can't we we can't on earth? I know why can't we family about real reality? Why can't we because they're about not our reality? They're other people's reality. I don't give a fuck anymore. We're out of no longer editing I'm no longer. I am no longer gonna like shy away from you're making enemies out of my best friend

No, I'm not they're gonna eat with me. They're gonna come to my ufc nights, right? Long every day and nothing's gonna change. Okay, so thank you so much george Thank you so much. George stampopoulos Kimmel I mean you literally did not allow him to speak There's nothing to say george. I'm sorry george. I love you, dude That's how the presidency is one Okay, as a woman I have a question for you man. Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. Go ahead Let's suppose I was single. Okay, imagine me being single

Is it a turnoff if you guys receive a text from a girl like me? If it said this like hey, you know I'm just out of curiosity. I just really want to have sex with you. Just that direct like I just really want to have sex with you Nothing more than just, you know Casual sex. No, not a turnoff Because george said that that's a little bit too aggressive So my question to you george again Is if my friend said hey george like

I'm not sure if my feelings are there, but I kind of want to dry run and see if I am attracted to you If I am attracted to you, can we have sex? Boom question. Would that turn you off? It depends on the problem though is this Okay, if he does that with jessica And they have sex and then she doesn't want to see him anymore. We all know he he don't feel good We all will all know if he don't feel good or and I can no longer be in business with him His dick is big and it hurts her. No, she likes big dick though. Oh wait. I was like

Listen, nope. No, really? I don't I don't ever want to think about his the silent ones are always the best The george you don't want to hear about his fucking dick. Okay. I pretend it's like cannon barbie down there with that guy He has no butthole in my mind. It's just flat no hair nothing A perfect barbie right and then if you do this if you do this if you press his arm a little thing opens and there's like He's an android. Oh my data. Yeah, like data. Whoa, right? And you yeah, that's what I love you him as a robot With no dick. I have so much guilt in my heart you guys Because jessica is not here to defend herself. She doesn't even know we're talking about this

Defend I don't do anything wrong speculation. It's all speculation and fun I mean you guys know more than me because she hasn't told me anything that's bullshit And I'm gonna just say that that's a lie because I'm gonna say something right now Okay, and I'm gonna say this to you george all right because you know you're in business with me And I in my business in my business affairs. I'd like to be clear and I like to be um honest All right, and and and when before you got here She was on the phone with jessica doing fucking snapchat. I would not that snapchat. What do you call it? Face time. Well, we do that every now it was a little because I got kicked out of the room

Um, no you kicked yourself out of the room. No you go you have to leave have to talk to her and then they close the door So just let you know that there's something going on. So I'm just saying I really believe this if you made a move It'll happen. So um make the move fuck her, but you better do it right. You better do it hard And and and and do it um clean say sax. Yes. Yeah Because I've got to tell right now dude I'm gonna say this right now and this is the last I want to say something Is is that because if you only get one dibs for with her know this Okay

Two that's okay. We got a couple bleeps. All right. No, there's no bleeps if you bleep this No, look at her face. No, if you you know no more bleeping All right, I don't live in a trump world. Okay. I live in a fucking an america world where we don't fucking edit We just fucking do it trump doesn't I know that's my point So we live in a trump world. Yeah, whatever. Okay. No more editing. Okay. We're just gonna keep it as it is. All right I haven't said anything controversial. Okay. I am just asking questions because I am a free thinker and also I am um, you know, what did Descartes say? I don't know. What did Descartes say?

What did Descartes say? Let's stop here. I want to ask the retard. I don't know what he said Do you know who who is What? Blacks time. What's that mean? Ask him a question and then you pay him 50 bucks if he knows the answer Oh, that's right. That's right. That's right. Who is Descartes? Uh, he's a journalist. No, okay. What is he? That's it Here, let me show you the spelling first. So maybe it'll no, it's not kind of he is a full-blown Good guy Does he have why'd you say full-blown? No, you he was gonna say retard Descartes was um, have you heard of the existentialist philosophers?

Uh, I don't know. They are okay, but um, but Descartes was considered with him Kierkegaard. Um, Sartre, you know, they they were like, um But he Descartes was the one of the earlier examples of existentialism and he um, he did a book on meditations He wrote a book on meditations and in the meditations. I think there were 13 of them, right? He created the the the famous, um statement. Um, I think therefore I am Um, the meaning behind that is well, it's pretty well you exist because you think He doesn't even know how English works I can't even fucking do it. I can't even fucking I can't even I said I think before I am and he goes translation. No, you said it wrong. I think

Um pause I think comma therefore I am That's That's where you fucked up Okay. Oh wait, there wasn't also something. What was the comment someone put on YouTube? What do you say about a corrective Bobby? Yes, last Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is it gonna hurt my feelings? Yes, because you fucked up about the godfather It wasn't even godfather one. It was a second one. It was a second one Yeah, freight out who cares godfather universe. It doesn't matter that he's the only brother that betrayed um, my question to you

was what brother betrayed Michael Corleone You didn't know the answer my the the answer is freight out enough said is that what the fucking message is about? Maybe perhaps That's it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, father part two also. Yeah, second point was uh, George Harrison wrote here comes the son not who loves the son Okay, whatever

Looks like you have some cracks in your game too. Don't really not really In your Beatles game, huh? Because I'll tell you why I say who loves the son, right? The reason why I said that was because The Veval Underground in their fourth album loaded, right? It's the opening song, right? And um, Here comes the song is the opening song No, it's the second song on um, abbey road, which is so they're both albums I listen to as a kid and I think that people would you know Realize that I yeah, I got mixed up, but it's not you know, I mean as sinful as not knowing that freight out Betrayed Michael Corleone

And you guys right now are right right are scurrying around the fact and trying to point fingers, right? And I'm not saying anything about I want him to grow I want this which Gilbert Gilbert, right? That's his name, right? Yeah, Gilbert. I want Gilbert to grow And that's why I'm hard on him. I see it now. And no, and that's why um I get on your case about things because I I don't want people to think that you're retarded No one thinks that but you okay Listen guys we've been at this what 60 episodes 60 60 whatever I feel I feel

Like we've got something going now I feel like we're a team Okay, finally. Yeah, I do I finally do okay. We I have people now going other comedians going hey Yeah, I want to do your podcast Which is a really good thing. I've never asked anybody And so as a team we need to work together And we can't lie to each other

And we have to be transparent Okay, and also we have to help each other grow So you're right. I should have known Okay, that it was godfather to which I already fucking know okay, but You should know who Descartes. I know and that's all no, I know Okay, I think therefore I why even say that why not even bring up Descartes. I forgot I think therefore I am I have no idea neither I have no idea, but um, you know, that's that

Oh, you I read some really cool news. What? On my my on my cnn my version of cnn There is a transgendered couple that had a baby So the one the male who used to be a woman. Oh wait the the woman who used to be a male Impregnated the male who used to be the woman Does that make sense to you? Yeah, so a guy and a girl fucked and they had a baby That's basically what you're saying. Yeah, but but the you know, he looks he's you know He looks like a man with a pregnant belly and the wife is I mean the the

The partner looks like a female who was actually a guy. I just want to say something to you Like you're not A woman until you get the operation Don't say that That's so ignorant. It's not ignorant. I know that your heart says it and I know that what that's what you are Okay, but just to me Get the thing changed If you're like Caitlyn Jenner, right? Did he get the operation?

Yeah, so his dick is now pussy. Um, no, no, no not yet not yet So that's why when I if I ever run into Caitlyn Jenner see Bruce now go. What's up, dude? Hmm, and then when he gets operation my lady Oh, it's very proper. Yes my lady. Oh, there's respect. All right. Just get the operation So basically what you're saying is a very painful painful operation. Do you know that they have to wear this thing inside of them? this large Contraption and to keep the opening open essentially and it's oh what the pussy or the dick the pussy Oh, so after they turn after they go through the operation they have to wear this

I don't know. I don't it's like a spacer or something that keeps it open and um It's I know somebody that I went to cal state long beach with who went through the transformation and was It in a lot a lot of pain in the early months Um, so the the vagina they put something they pride open. Mm-hmm And then they do that so that when he gets the operation that the skin is a little bit more lucid that they can form a dick from No, bro post, right? It's post after they turn their dick inside out outside. I mean outside in Yeah, they they have to put this like tube like thing in there and they have to wear it for hours in a day

Nope, and it's very painful. You know what I do if I was a You know what I would do if I was a guy and I had I had that operation, right? I would just have constant dicks in it So I don't have to do the two you can't early on seven just black dicks To stretch to just keep it open. Yeah, I would just go ahead to like, you know some black comedian yoursy There's a black comedian in your city Do you do I'm not gonna try to you but just stick your dick in my fucking pussy for like two months. You'll be helping me Yeah, yeah, but that doesn't they had to wear it for hours. Who can fuck you for hours. No, I'm not saying I don't know

I'm not saying to fuck me yoursy. Just stick your dick in it. Oh, yeah, but don't move it. Don't move it If you start a movie, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no Yes, that feels so good. You want to shoves just soft meat in there. That's so stupid. It has to be a hard thing You are wrong. I'm wrong. Soft meat. Soft meat. Imagine that that your dick. I imagine because They tuck it inside your body. So it does feel good Right. Yeah. So, you know our orgasm Because now you don't have semen, right? Yeah, so, you know our our labia is the same tissue as the your ballsack

And our clitoris is the same type of tissue as your penis head penis tip. Yeah, why'd you point at George when you said that? Oh, I'm sorry What the fuck? Whoa, because he was doing this. He was like, no, no, no, no, no, the thinking thing like Why did you say his? Your penis head too. No, your clitoris I believe you too Yeah, we were all just gonna drive to san diego go see some sharks and have a gang bang with fucking sharks Come on, Bobby. Listen to me right now, man

George George's getting killed today. What George's getting killed today. He's like getting killed. Yeah, but who you know, I'm having fun I love I love you guys so much. I could say whatever I want That's how I feel about it. I love you so much that I can just say whatever I want And I feel like there's gonna be love at the end of it and that's why And that's why I want to express to you how grateful I am for this podcast I think that we're doing real well as a group and a family You know, yeah, and and then tomorrow we're celebrating our one year with with 15 Um of our listeners that we've handpicked. We handpicked them. Yes, and then wednesday

Kala is going to the late in america premiere with me And then this weekend i'm at the ox start lovely live and I want to see everyone there Pack it out pack it out this week. It's a new club, right? Yeah, I gotta figure out a way Here's the thing. I also have to figure out a way To only take photos with tiger belly people and let the rest of them go raw. You're proud. This is where This is where it's difficult for you. Yeah This then then you tell them this is the best way to do it because I tried the georgia has a pink dick thing Everyone does it. It's just too many people coming up to me saying georgia's a pink dick and i'm like

That's a little weird. Look guys. I have to explain to other people like no I had this guy georgia's my producer and he has a pink dick The the best way to do it is to tell um your favorite if you're a tiger belly listener Stay after the show. Just sit. Don't rush to go outside. They make them go No, not all there's there's about 20 minutes before the club actually kicks you out So there's always stragglers there There's some people who immediately go to the lobby to see if bobby does a meet and greet But he he never does meet and greets. He usually just runs in the back and we go home

So what I usually do is I look at the stragglers who are smart enough to stay and they'll usually flag me down And then they get the picture. I usually take them to the green room too um Yeah, I gotta figure out a way because I want to say hi to tiger belly people and I and you know at the comedy store too There was a kid last night young cute good-looking kid Amen, I love tiger belly and I'm a huge fan and he just seemed like he really Loves it. Yeah, and I I took my time. I went whenever that happens, especially with tiger belly fans. I take my time You know

I'm not I mean I'm grateful for people that to buy tickets who don't listen to the podcast, but there's some a weird or connection I have with people that do because I I think they know you more They they know the real bobby not just as a as a tv guy, you know Maybe maybe What do you think about um arsenal beating chelsea 30 this past saturday a fluke That's not a fluke stop saying that that's second goal by thea walcott. It's listen was amazing I want I I don't because we've had moments of

Triumph, I don't know if you guys remember this but seven years ago Barcelona came to the Emirates And we beat them And andre our shop and scored like the winning goal And there was huge celebration But then we just got our asses kicked the rest of the year. My point is this If arsenal can show some sort of consistency. Yeah, okay, then that's one thing

That's why I love yohana young chinchac and then she's fighting in UFC 205. She's finding carolina. Cool. Cool And um, I I love yohana because She's consistent You know that she's going to train her fucking ass up. She has no fear and she's technical And I love watching her. I want arsenal to do the same thing String, you know a season together where you're generally beating great competition Win the title and then I'm gonna let you have a little like, you know, like this year lester. They're not doing well

city Do you think their whole season was a fluke? No, I thought that they You know, there was something magical that came on. Yeah, but I think that it's never going to happen again It was just their year. They're going to make the movie one day They will they'll make a movie out of it and it was magical. It's never going to happen again because pep and um jose marinho and Jurgen Klopp and all these guys even arson venger

They manage the big ones and they are Are just man city looks almost unbeatable this year And um, yeah, and I also want to just do a shout out to my friend eric oak He's another one that I want to I I don't know him. I've never met him, but in space He's a really go-getter We have a conflict of interest Because he trains with c.m. Punk and we recently became friends with make it all He's a listener of the podcast. So I made a mistake. I made a very very very bad mistake

So after I watched um mickey gall destroy c.m. Punk I tweeted that mickey gall looks like Which he does and I the only reason I said is because he's so castable He has that face that looks like every 80s movies bully Hollywood bully like he looks like a Hollywood bully and I think that you know after his MMA career I really do think he has one of those big head castable type of feature, right? Where you can play like a great villain should have never done it in the first place I know but the mistake is I tweeted that about him and then I realized

That he had like liked one of my photos like a few days after that and I realized that he listens to the podcast So I I wrote him an email asking him to come on the podcast is sort of like an apology Yeah, and he said he would so i'm really excited. No, I don't think that's that's gonna be a problem with me Why? Because eric oak because eric oak. Oh I like this kid after he said what he said about sage north cut. I was really high I I'll do it if eric oak approves Oh, I'm sure they're friends just because I don't know. He loves c.m. Punk and um, eric oak But I'm sure he knows c.m. Punk should have never entered that octagon. Let's be real

You don't even understand My camaraderie I have with my friends in space battle They really saved me Okay, now do we have a fucking question? We do Wait, wait We're having mickey gall on this podcast. You're having them We're having him. I won't be here Because if you ever think

Listen, if you ever fucking think Right, then I'm gonna betray Eric oak from the ufc. You got another thing fucking coming. Okay. He's my fucking fire team teammate And I'm not gonna betray his heart Okay Now give me the question On open bias with bobby Hey guys, I've got an unusual problem. I don't know who else to ask

I recently got a girlfriend my first one and I'm 30 years old and we started sleeping together Stop next one What Finish this little question Sleeping together, but I can't seem to maintain an erection with her. Okay. Oh, I love this one I think this could be because I fucked over 300 prostitutes killing as it's legal and regulated where I live And now I think I'm just used to a different kind of sexual experience I feel really bad because my girlfriend thinks it's her fault and it's not and I can't tell her the truth about why I'm having these

Troubles I've stopped fucking prostitutes Obviously because I love my girlfriend, but just to test things out with me I got a rub and tug massage the other day and everything worked fine Is it because I see her as a potential mother and not a sex object? No, this is what it is Oh, I have a good idea. If you have a I have it Rob Rob, I'm just saying there's an article in men's journal. Okay about porn erectile dysfunction, but I think it it it um applies to hookers to And it says that the mind has like a six month like reset

so basically Could I try it with charlie fin? We read the men's journal article and we go, well, let's do it. He lasted about four months. I lasted three and a half weeks And I almost exploded I mean, I got I couldn't do it, but I really believe that he should read the the journey the men's journal about it So just six six months. Do you think he should give himself six months without sex rub and tug or hookers? Should he abstain from sex with her? No, he should do this. I think that he

Should have sex with her if he can get an erection But for six months of no pornography No hookers none of that even jerking off Okay, if you do it too long like for like five years you start fucking kids I mean, that's the reason You start going the no because I believe that priests suppressed. Yeah, it's that's suppressed and they You know when you have nutsack I mean not I'm not juice sperm

In your sack for 10 years and it doesn't release. I think it changes it into like Some evil fucking witchcraft Well, it's actually not how it works. I will that's I've I've seen some movies. I've seen some movies some european movies I want to answer the question his last question about not wanting to not Feeling sexually attracted to her because he sees her as a potential mother than a lover And I always ask myself this and I do feel it even with my relationship with him Once I get into the role of feeling like a mom when I cook when I nurture when I feed the cats the dog

I take care of his day-to-day stuff. I do feel less Sexual I feel tied down by by you know, my daily responsibility That I don't miss. I don't Feel that like sexual edge about me and maybe He my partner feels that too um, but then I don't know I always ask my I if anyone can answer this question for me Can I be a mother and a lover? Can you see me as both or can you only see me as one?

As as one or the other like you can't like for instance when you Can you have sex with me knowing that I'm a mother to your children Versus just seeing me as a sexual object. I think it there's something there's a switch there with men I don't know how else better to explain it than I don't It's hard to be both to a man It's hard even for me. I don't want to have sex when I've done everything for him that day I feel like I am I am taking on that role of like nurturer and I don't want I don't feel sexual Maybe it just is me. I don't know if I'm making any sense. But if anybody has similar experiences or feelings, let me know. Yes

Can you can you order me some food? I'm so hungry. I ordered your food earlier. I got this is a steak Salad thing. I just need some like a pizza or something I will order you food. What kind of pizza can I get you think for right now? Um garage. That's the only one It's good, but I can't eat it twice. So you have to get the big one like that with a ricotta cheese. Yeah, I get that Can you get that for me? I can get that for you. Then you guys will have sex later. Come see me at levity live and oxnard Um, I'll plug your dates and you will. Yeah. Okay. Are you mad at me? I'm not mad at you You just have bad manners

When you just now yeah, why? Because when you only want to hear yourself talk when any when George or Gilbert or anybody else wants to talk Okay, I wanted to say something. It's like you'd get your phone. I just know that's not what you don't want to participate in anybody Else's opinions, but yours. You love to hear yourself. That's okay. You're the captain Oh my god, let's kiss So Bobby show us Bobby. No, no, no, let's stop. I'm going to resolve this right now I'm going to resolve this right now. Hmm. When you were talking I was listening to everything you were saying But I just thought it would be funny if I said because you were talking about you doing things for me and all that stuff

I thought it would be funny if you said if I said You know, I'm gonna say order me some food. I don't really want you to worry food. I would just start with Oh, if you made it a bit. Yeah, and so now you made it real and now it's weird Yeah, it is weird. Now. Why would you make a bit out of that? I really was going to order you pizza Well, can you if you? That's how you do it He gets you double twice clalla and that's gonna be your husband. That's gonna be your husband. Unfortunately I accept lord god. I accept my faith. Wow. That was really okay. Um, Bobby is going to be

at levity live in oxnard this weekend september 30th through october 2nd He is going to be at um helium comedy club in portland october 13th through the 15th And the weekend after that punchline san francisco. That's october 21st to the 22nd I think you might be there for only two days. Not sure are you gonna be at any So in case any of the fans want to go to the um, I love i love portland So i'm going to get myself a ticket Portland fans portland, uh, callila fans hashtag podcast celebrity. Check her out Bring her hats

Uh What's the hundred people show up with like signs of your faith everyone if you go to the show portland bring signs like Yay, callila hashtag podcast celebrity. This is the last time i'm going alisha keys on this podcast. You look good I feel super pale and not i'm fishing for compliments. Just give them to me gilbert Would you ever consider just doing a whole week with no makeup like alisha? I mean, that's what I do every day in public in public though in public because you like No, even when you guys see me if it's just with you guys and we go out around that's right I never wear makeup. The only time I put it on is when we record this podcast and my face gets itchy

Okay, if we go to the premiere with bobby this wednesday, would you consider not absolutely? Do it as a statement Walk out the piece of paper. It's a statement. I'm not this ugly. Wait, wait a second Let me get big enough first where I can it can you know be a statement like who the who the fuck cares about a podcast celebrity statement It's like why is this girl having no makeup on? They're like, oh god. This is like Monochrome Uh guys, uh, you can follow us on instagram at tiger belly. You can follow twitter at the tiger belly

You can also email us questions like rob at the tiger belly at gmail.com. That was a good question It was a very good question. I told you I like it and my advice made absolutely no sense So I am so sorry. Bobby's was like far more Straight to the point. I mean you were getting there, which is basically you were saying well I feel like you wanted us to answer your problem. I do It turned out helpful advice for you to the audience. It's a female conundrum and it might just be my conundrum It just might be my my own sentiments with um You know not you know feeling

sexually excited when I Am playing mother. Well, let's figure this out So we can check this out any female listeners that are married Why don't you send us an email and tell us how you in your relationship if you feel you can be a mother and a lover to your Husband. Yeah, I mean for me like for instance when the dog jumps on the bed There goes my like my libido just goes out the window. It's like your child jumping on the bed. It's like my child It's like I feel like oh I have to take all of a sudden all the things that I need to do for her

Or to do you know just come crawling back in and it just takes over Um, it doesn't it if sex was in the front of my mind now it takes a back seat If that makes fucking any sense at all Um, yeah shoot cloud a tweet or email us or email us or email us email us us Email us at the tiger belly at gmail.com by the time this podcast is released. We would have already Filmed our little one-year bonus belly special, which we are actually recording tomorrow

Thank you everybody that wrote in. Oh my gosh. Um, we read every single email Um, we I'm gonna take the time to write back to everybody, especially those that didn't get selected Other opportunities down the line, right? But we did we have such a small tight space and we were only we were only able to pick really 15 people Um small space. Yeah. Yeah. I mean hell they might not even Be very comfortable because it's a very small room. It's gonna be wherever's gonna be sweaty. Yeah, it's gonna be a good time though Yeah, but it's our first one. So maybe the next the next go will be at a bigger place and we can Invite more of our listeners there. Um, I think those are all the announcements that we have to make

Thank you so much for everybody that logged on to or went on to iTunes. Oh my gosh And gave us those reviews were almost at 500. I believe And um, if you haven't already, please leave us a review on iTunes as Gilbert says nothing less than three stars Yes, if you do then just think about it. Don't actually post it. Yeah If you feel like we only deserve one star just just think about just that's right in your head. Yeah Yeah, five stars five stars. Yeah, just Doug peed where oh, thank god. I was about to yell at you No, it's a loving podcast. Okay, George any other notes before we go?

All right. We're good. We're good. Thank you everybody for listening and we will see you next week. Ciao. Bye Oh Hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today Or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast before you go Tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey