TigerBelly - Episode 84: David So, the Human Grenade.

Episode Date: March 29, 2017

Bobo is Wolfgang Kong. David is daddy #2. Koloko just wants to dance. We talk stolen jokes, paved ways, and highways.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today You go look for my head to put you go go Three Why you gotta believe in yourself when gonna take charge You gotta look in the sky and see the Lord chasing me down for the money. Oh Yeah Welcome to another Addition to smooth jazz

Welcome welcome all welcome y'all Anyway, what don't do me right now lady. You I said you don't you you mean You can't see you I can't and I never will because I don't like to be told what to do Yeah Yeah Let me tell you something right now man Tell me Wolfgang I will who you You you you you let me see something right now I walk in here I took an okay. I'm gonna introduce you

Don't even talk that yellow Don't even talk right now Yeah, you want to take the vast off Chill out cool cat listen to me man right now. Let me tell you something right now I walk into this fucking I walk into this podcast room and fucking Bryce is sitting in my chair Right. I tell him to move. He don't move. Okay You'll do you you're not Rosa Parks? Move bitch get out the way, you know by you not moving from my fucking chair. That means you want to fuck Calila

You're one step away from fucking Calila and I can't have that in my house I don't have a choice in the matter No, it's rape time It's great time with this guy I know I'm just looking at him right now, dude. Why do you like this in the 70s? So look at me right now my friend, I'm on to you friend. All right, don't do that shit If I walk in here, just move dude. I don't want to cause no fucking trouble. Okay, you're so drama So we got a guest David so and you know, you're a you're a hit on my podcast you're a very talented young man. Thank you. I

Just let me just finish okay And when I heard that you were doing my podcast again or our pockets, excuse me No, I can just be you know, excuse me love our podcast. I was really excited. Welcome back. Give me a round of applause What's up, what's going on nothing chilling man, yeah, what's been going on since we last saw you Oh that film that I talked to you about on Sundance. Oh, yeah on the Sundance When the next audience award. Oh, wow. Yeah, so it was it was a really big deal. Did you go? Yes? I did. I saw it. What's what's fucking? I can't remember No, no the Andy or no, it's Susan Sarandon's hubs

Andy Dufresne. Yeah Listen, I know the actor's name. No, I know it, but we're not gonna we ain't go moving on. Okay, until you figure that shit out. I Know what else movies has been in I just know him from Mr. Shawshank, I know you're a movie No, yo, yo, yo, yo, dude, dude, dude, you walked up to him and said what's up, Mr. Shawshank No, what I did was I saw him and when I glimpsed by him I tried to touch his shoulder. Yeah, and I just grazed his back But it just registered very weird so I went swipe he turned around I chickened out and I walked the other way See the movie. He saw your movie. No, I doubt it. Oh, I just saw him walk by. There was a lot of celebrities walking by

Whoa, and so it's pretty awesome. That's cool, right? Yeah, felt good, huh? It felt good to see them Yeah, it was pretty awesome for me. Anyways, I don't know as I don't really go outside So I know like a lot of people you know when people see like celebrities they freak the fuck out But it's usually like people I've seen in my childhood. Yeah, and then when I see my freak out like when I first met you It was an amazing experience. Well, I'm from your childhood, bro. Yes Thank you. Yeah, it's pretty awesome one time When I was using drugs and partying I I woke up in Vince Vaughn's house And

They were he goes we're playing charades So I swore I fuck I swore to fucking God. I played charades with I swear to fucking God Ashley Judd John Farbrough My friend Ahmed was there me a couple of other guys and it was I I was so scared Because I was like I was so drugged out or do you want I? Was taking like 60 vikings I was like just Yeah, yeah, some weed maybe 60 vikings when I was this is when I was using it

Yes, it's a real surreal and then you try to act cool, but in your head you're like holy fuck It's all these people. You know man, right is that what happened? Is there a celebrity that you could who in your head would you freak out over? I? Actually at Sunday, I met me along Hold her hand a little too long That's the fucking second time I did that shit. I did that also with Tatiana Ali Oh, yeah, so I held her hand, and then I was like I'm a really big fan of you Like I loved your music and including when you were in Fresh Prince, and I was I was supposed to let go of her hand

But I kept talking to her just like this Stop stop stop stop stop just keep that hand there. Yes. Look at that thumb. What about it? What are you doing with that thumb? It's the grip thumb. Yeah, but you're digging it in their hand Oh, man, I want you showing you the strength because I was so nervous. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't know so I Yeah, so I was like this yeah, so I grabbed her hand and then literally my manager walks up. He just prized my hands Because you my dog went crazy when you walk in the house you I Realized you're a fucking mutant No, you are you're not there's nothing on earth that even resembles you

Your dog is a lot nicer when it was a wobble. I don't wobble when I walk I'm a walking sleeping. So how did so when does goop come out? Hope we're gonna do a LA premiere in April 29th on the anniversary of the riots. Are we invited? Yes Everybody, you know what that doesn't feel special I have everyone's because now now it's gonna be like a Trump rally People have signs of stuff. So I'm now going now at gook. What if it's very specific like we get a nice invitation And it's us John Cho, you know, fuck up, bitch Anyway, I'm sorry, that was no that was crossing the line

That was crossing the line. So that's great. It's exciting. So the reviews are probably good. It went to Sundance It's probably a good movie and who else is in it me Justin Chan. We have a young female actress Simone Baker, and then we also No, she is a young black girl Talking about the town I thought you said young at first. I was like, yes It's not like he said young black girl young young he said young young young young young young I like Movies I like movies came out last week is that what's that called Rogue one? You see it? No. Yeah I want to watch is that one movie with the ISIS guy coming home back home. What's it called?

What I said, it's a lion We got a rollback and cut that you're so fucking stupid. Why Indian? Whatever man, I want to watch it. I like it Dept. Tell is from London, right? He's an actor so you can pay the place Any of you guys see Beauty and the Beast? No, I'm supposed to watch it tomorrow though No, no, no my girlfriend is a huge Disney fan. So I doesn't matter. I have fodder on it It doesn't matter. Did you know that you step in? Let's look just stop for a second I know you want to talk about beauty and beast. I don't but once you step in that theater, right?

You're two steps away from being gay That's a cold. No, that's that's not facts. No, it's not even a body fat. It's not even about that. It's it's it's it's scientific proof I was that so I read a paper you ever saw beauty in a paper. I read a Seen Beauty and the Beast though ever he's never even seen a cartoon. I'll tell you what you've never seen a cartoon I'm not gay dude. I know I mean I've done gay shit Oh god, that's a couple of digs in my life. I would never watch a cartoon. No, no, no, no, no. I'm not a gay. Yeah, so, you know just let you know once you walk in that theater you're two steps away from so every child every male child That's seen a Disney movie is a homo. Yes

Well, no, well, I mean, I don't know any of my male friends like if I talked to Chris Daliah Bill Burr Any of these kind of that they never seen it. Well, it was a generational thing Not even the cartoon. So I think that our age group not your age group was really this was a big time when Disney was really booming We even watched documentary about it. Like oh, I watch documentaries. Well, no, what's that called waking the sleeping beauty Yeah, waking sleeping beauty. It's talking it talks about that era of the Disney boom when Disney was going under Yeah, okay, so this new young generation of animators took over Disney and they were about to go bankrupt One of them was Tim Burton. Yeah, and so he's in it. He's like as a kid. You know, this is when Beauty and the Beast Lion King

Little mermaid all of these super big like 90s hits came out and that was when we were eight nine ten So it was a very big deal. I know even if I was eight nine ten and that shit came on I'd walk into the room and there's no way in hell and my buddy's like, hey, dude, let's go buy tickets to Lion King No, I think I go with my dick out and go suck it. We weren't buying It was put into the VHS and then we saw what was on. Yeah, no, don't put your hands up like that and don't question me in that way No, yeah, I know but listen, so what all I'm saying is this is is that if you and I are nine, right? Just listen to me And you put a VHS on with Lion King I'd probably watch five minutes and did I'm gonna go shoot squirrels in the head with a BB gun outside

That's psychotic Yeah, you know kill something but Lion King is pretty dark though. It's not What's about then somebody is the flying die. Yeah, he gets massacred family kills family What spoiler alert fuck it Say the line fucking die bossa die bossa died King was dope. I know I mean no not lion Isn't there a lion in the beauty and the beast? That's a man goat. That's the beast. He's a goat He's a buffalo, whatever whatever he is. I call him a lion. He has hooves. He looks like a lion. He's a buffalo He's a fucking guy. He dies in it. It is dark because we're it's bestiality, right? I'm just really upset

No, no, no, no, no, I wish okay, this is where my mind It's really upsetting because the first time I watched Beauty and the Beast I was really upset when he turned into a prince because he looked really wimpy Even more wimpy this version. It's like, you know, the the beast is probably packing think about it He's a fucking a buffalo dick How do you go from buffalo dick to regular like wimpy human dick and the guy was like borderline ginger, too Oh, so you saw the movie. I saw the movie. So he turned into a really really tiny man. Well, he was cute He's a guy from um Legion

Maybe anyone want to watch that am I the only one He's a good-looking guy, but he's not the beast He's not fucking just big and brilliant hooves. Do you know you wanted like the rock? I want hooves. I want to fuck someone with hooves. Chris Hemsworth I have hooves. You got it in reality. I do. I do. I'm just gonna You just talk about it. I just no one I can talk to you about it. I can't talk about it. Okay. I'm done No, I'll talk to me. Tell me you're gonna go tomorrow. I am I have to Yeah, I know you have to I have to you know what dude look at me right now. I'm gonna give you a free pass

Okay, thank you Right You're in a situation. Okay. Okay. If you don't go. Yes, it starts on that Okay, so I'm gonna let you go Bob. We'll let you know. Oh, thank you That's your last one. Okay when they make Mulan and you go into that then I'm gonna have questions. I won't watch Mulan You promise that live action Mulan. He's in Mulan. He's starring the problem with that is that The person that does gives me her vagina Yeah, it says I have to watch it. So I can't really

That's for the lot. What's it? That's for things in life in general You know what you're in a situation No, I'm talking we will talk. Yeah, man, whatever he does. He doesn't give a giant anyways I quit giving that shit I'm gonna let you do thank you I'm sorry, and I'm sorry I just had a conversation with her on the way here about it

And I told her that I was gonna fall asleep and the reason why I'm watching it It's just to accompany her because she likes it and that was unacceptable But the reason why I came to this conclusion is the Sunday night I was at the comedy store and Eric Griffin who was our guest here Started singing Lion King songs on stage And there's like five comics in the back. That's why he leave her No, no, he was just not not lying King. What's a beauty in the bees?

Oh, I thought you say that's the beauty of the beauty No, no, that's hard to do. He was singing Beauty and the Beast songs on stage Whatever it is whatever Whatever it might be and we all got up and we left the room It was uncomfortable I think you made it uncomfortable because you guys know because that was him coming out of the closet Without him without him saying I gay guys. It was like we oh shit. How come you never watched the cartoon I Know how did you miss out on that? He was too busy. Oh, is that good? Yes. Give it. Look at me

It's that good that I'm missing out All right, you know, I'll watch that shit tonight if I'm not mesmerized No, it's not live all during right the cartoon the next day. He's singing all the songs around the house. Yeah But you already know you I think I'm gonna tell you what I think it's about. Okay. Okay. Yeah, what is it? There's a man. Yes. He's some sort of curse Okay, right and he turned into a buffalo Whatever it might be. Yeah, okay goat go buffalo. All right And then there's like a salt shaker

Assault shaker a light bulb You know me and a Old-timey trash cans, right? Okay. They come alive Yeah, they start because what I assume that he was a king and those are all his like compatriots or whatever and there's some sort of curse they turned into salt shakers he turned into a goat Right and they're bombed. They're fucking live it because you can't live like a fucking salt shaker You know me you're just shaking. Yeah, you're walking around. I mean people know you're when you're coming, you know I suck at hide-and-seek. Yeah, right, right, right and then you know the goat meets

There's a lady. Okay a girl comes in in the town. She's fresh. She's fresh in the town Yeah, yeah, she freaks right she comes to the you know the castle. She meets this goat and she's scared at first Right. She's like Man, there's a goat creature. I want to be around it, you know And then they fall in love and something happens at the end. There's a bunch of songs, okay? The thousands of songs they sing. Yeah. Yeah, and then at the end something happens where he turns back into human And they fall in love. Yeah, but do I have the gist? I feel like you've watched it and you're playing it off like you did it I swear to God on my oppa's life

I've never seen it. That's conviction in his eyes. Yeah, I swear to God on my oppa's life. Ask my brother I've never seen any of that fucking bullshit You just accused me of fucking treason against against my fucking Speaks in my um race not my race my gender. Oh God the male gender. I've never ever accused me of piercing look at Okay, over Disney ever So you might do I have the gist? Yes, you're pretty fucking good. That's amazing

I kind of will just give more movies and see I know I want to see what else is there Mulan I've never seen it. I don't know anything about it, but I know that there's a lady a girl Right, she's fresh. She's fresh Down she Fresh in a Bayesian. Yeah. Yeah, I know I see no one all here's about the Mulan when when when you have a bunch of Chinese Okay, whatever it is Chin-Chinese. Yeah, but the Chin-Chinese around singing songs and stuff and they're whimsical Are they not whimsical very right and then you have a The voice of a black dragon to me. That's doesn't that's weird. Oh, Eddie Murphy

Eddie Murphy did the voice of pain. That's fucking yeah, wait stupid. Yeah, you're okay. Fine. Yeah, right? One of the Asian guys he Eddie Murphy did the voice. No, no, he did the voice of the Okay, I'm fucking I don't fucking know I don't know shit. I actually didn't watch that movie That's a good name for a name though pink. Yeah. Yeah, was there a pong in it or no? This goes fresh But no, I'm done with all that shit, you know, I mean and your woman so you're gonna go watch tomorrow And that's all good. Can I just tell you something that happened to me there yet today this morning? Mm-hmm. So I'm can't get into detail about it, but I booked an ABC

pilot Okay, and I shot last week and this morning I had to shoot at five three in the morning and I'm on set. I had to pee and they said upstairs Was the VIP bathroom, okay from the side we're shooting in the house So I go upstairs and I pee in the bathroom about to pee in the set direct decorator walks in she goes Hey, you're not supposed to be up here. I go That's how I said it because what because I know as soon as she confronts me

I know fun is about to happen. You love this. I love when confrontation that happens because then I play it the other way She goes, this is only for you know, I mean series regular, you know, I mean the you know I mean background. It's on the other right around the corner Just buy your look that you are I look like background If you don't know Bobby Lee, it's seriously if you don't there's no way they're gonna put this on TV You have to know to know there's no they put everyone on TV. Yeah, but I Look out flat my and come on be real though I completely agree because that happens to me all the time right in my right

They think that you're yeah, we're like a cameraman or sound not even that. What they just think I'm not supposed to be there at all Yeah No, because I left because that's exactly how I feel it's terrible. Yeah, that's what happened if you say, hey, no, no Of course, no, you're gonna make it weird. Yeah, the spectacle. So I pulled my penis back in because I Wait, it was out. Yeah, I was in mid P almost P. I was about to pee and she from behind, right? So I turn around okay, so I won't go downstairs and I go to the head like, you know, I mean 80 or whatever I go I could I could have stopped it by saying no, I'm on the show Yeah, and then just went on my merry way and done. What? No

Yeah, you have to make a yeah, yeah, you have to make a fine. So I go downstairs So I thought you said that upstairs was VIP. It is go pee. We have to shoot You know, I mean like you're calling you Yeah, lady upstairs you sit there. I can't be just she goes up there. Okay, then I hear all this like commotion Oh, I mean, that's great. I'm down there smiling At that, you know me at the ceiling hearing what's going on and then I walk up and then she's like You know I mean and I pee oh my god. She probably got fired I know

The same thing happened when I did that It's the what Steve glitman show that he did that that boy band show on Nickelodeon. Oh, yeah You know that it's they're called they were a boy band if they had his own and Nickelodeon show I know but anyway, I guess start on that and when I showed up The lady goes you're in there. So I stayed in a extras Oh, she just for like an hour a stable It was like 50 people I knew I wasn't supposed to be there. I could have just said no, I'm guest star

And I just sit there with them and the whole hour I'm just full of glee Because I know there's gonna be a moment of like Why didn't you tell me I don't know you just you know me that whole thing. All right, that's why I live That's why I haven't killed myself. You know what's so funny though I feel like that's a very LA thing like they they treat you based on what they know you from so when I Did this small thing for my friend. They're shooting like this YouTube red thing I can't really talk about that, but they I got on there Because I'm not supposed to yeah, I was supposed to talk about I did they literally you don't follow the rules

He does. Yeah, I'm just saying I'm just gonna say this. They literally the network emailed me. Don't ever talk about the pilot You know me and I just said it, but that's fine, but then again, they also told you not to show your penis And so They talked to me very rude, you know as if like I'm just trash and garbage, you know I came there for my friends. Yeah, and so it's just a very small part I was supposed to be this bartender and I just asked the producer. I was like my spot was very small I was like, oh, do you know a rough time of what she goes? No, I don't know Okay, okay, you know, I'm like, oh, then do you know can you can you direct me to somebody who does know she goes

Look, I already told you I don't know. I was like, do you even work here, you know So I was getting a little irritated. Yeah So I was just waiting that whole time and then everybody was kind of treating me like I'm just like that side character So I was just wondering I was like, okay, so I just got Tesla And I was like, hmm. I took my car. I drove it up to the front Yeah, I drove it up to the front exactly the move. That's what you should I that's why you said, yeah And so when I did everybody comes up, yo, that's your whip son. I'm like, yeah, they're my whip What time do I get off motherfucker? Yeah, and they're like, oh, so you so you not just an extra cuz extras don't got that stuff

Literally said it no shame whatsoever. Yeah, now they're talking to me like I'm a human being would you like water? I'm like could LA Nobody offered me water. Yeah, rose and I'm gonna tell you the my I'm gonna say something right now And I'm not just looking at me. I'm not When I'm working on anything I talked to the I don't give a fuck who it is Yeah, I talked to the fucking the guy that's doing the nail I talked about. Hey, I like today. That's guy me and Hey But like there was a there was a guy that I'm just saying my point is that I don't have that I'm give a fuck

Oh, yeah, you know, I mean, but people like people have this when they're given a little power They start mouthing off when they don't know the full information. Hmm and those kind of people Yeah, but then you're really snooty with extras in what way, okay He's not nice to them. I'm that's the only one I'm not nice to see because it goes down the chain He's being abused by one. So he has to abuse another. No, that's not true cycle. You just know that's waiting That's not true. That's not true because to me. All right, if an extra believes that he knows what he is I Can tell they keep to themselves. They do what they do, right? It's only when they cross the line and they think that you guys you're both

On the same on the same thing It's good working with this together. You know me. Oh, no, I was approved by the network the president right you Showed up You know, so don't listen. I was just say this. It's the same thing and I okay, maybe maybe The same thing is open-micro's it's like you think that Chris rock Right and some guy that just did it for a week is the same

But that happens It's like when an open Michael will walk out to me and I'll do some skies bringer show but the close it out It's I see this open micro came up to me. Go. I'll see you. I'll see you run the circuit He said that to me and I go Fucking circuit he's circuit bitch Fucking MC bitch I do understand that to a certain extent because I sometimes I just want to I feel like I should take you out on a YouTube show sometimes because you think that's bad

I'm take this with a grain of salt Buffalo, New York. You guys have some of the most un-talented human beings on Every kid asks every time I do a show at the college. They go, what is your worst show? I always say at Buffalo, New York. The only thing they have is Buffalo wings. That's it. That's what they that's what they're known for That's where it was created. It's really it's absolutely amazing. Yeah talent wise zero So I did this talent show right and I was supposed to be a judge Yeah, and I specifically remember this one kid because he did super well So he's this Chinese kid and he's doing this act where he's Seeing a lady Gaga song. So mind you. He has a very thick Chinese accent. He goes

And I'm like busting up laughing I'm grabbing everybody else. I'm like, yo this fucking kid is dope I'm cracking up. We go to the back. We're telling you up points. I give him a perfect 10. Everybody looks at me They're like, what are you doing? I was like, dude, he was a fucking great comedian He goes, he was singing for real and you laughed in his face throughout that whole so the whole time He was singing seriously. I was in tears If I was there with you, I would have got arrested No, I would have died from laughter, but you know how the guys and I'll see you at the circuit So this kid audacity he comes up to me after the show. He goes, so I heard you saying we're staying together

Maybe we should collaborate sometime and I'm like What, you know, I was so appalled You know, and I'm not saying I'm like better than him as a human being, but it's like we're all equal of course as human beings No, we are we're all equal as human beings But a lot of stand-ups can't even go to auditions Like like Mencia told me one time Carlos Mencia years ago because I can't go bro because like they all you know I mean like as we're equal, but as a comedian, you know, I'm you know, they can't handle So I have to sit there when you're auditioning for some people that you know people like Gilbert

True. I have no credits, but I still got those on yeah, but you know my point is is that No credits You know we should collaborate I just started going to auditions this year. Yeah, you know after we had that conversation and you were talking to me about acting It kind of gave me a little fuel. Yeah, so thank you very much for that And I started going to auditions and I realized how emotionally damaging it is It's one of the human worst human experience. I I have never you know, first of all Okay, so number one, I don't know what my agent I just met him, but I don't think he knows who I am as a person

What agency is it by the way, you can say that right abrams. Oh I love it. I was able to Abrams for years when I was early. Yeah, so I don't know what I'm not an actor So I don't know what it is any of the shit is so I go every single audition the first four that I had right when you walk Into the room. I expect people to look like me Yeah, ten black eyes one Asian guy every time. Yeah, so I'm here. Yeah, so I'm talking like yo, I'm Korean No, do you have you not figured this out yet? Yeah, and I'm just saying I'm like, I don't know if I'm for this part. Yeah You know and then this is like this is a motion of sometimes you feel like you kill it Right. Yeah, and then you walk out. They don't really laugh and you hear somebody else's audition

It sounds like ass and they're laughing their ass off Yeah, part of me wants to go open the door and like you're fucking moron. Yeah, and they close the door and just leave Yeah, like and I didn't know there was like a scabbing period that people were telling me about So eventually you just scab over and you just start getting numb. He never gets he hasn't scabbed over yet Yeah, that hasn't happened to me either. So I guess I 20 years. I'm not scab I feel it hurts him so it destroys me for weeks. It haunts him. It haunts me one bad audition Everything even the ones that you're kind of like No, I get destroyed because here's what it is. This is that I work on it, right?

I mean, I felt like I remember we work on I memorize it. I spend the day waking up because it's always like some Early morning that like no one is even away, but like I show up eight nine ten in the morning somewhere in Santa Monica You walk in and when you have a bad one It's just it's like it's my time, you know, and I'm not mad at them I met it myself sometimes for not hitting it, you know, sometimes like I've auditioned for things where I remember like one time I ran out you're in the car And I didn't get it, but I just know I there's nothing I couldn't have done better Like I killed it auditioning to me is a little weird too because they expect you to get it right that in there

It's like sometimes, you know for me, it's like I could kill this part, but I can't do it in one go Yeah And then some you know, and I've had that feeling where I saw somebody who got the part and I'm like dude, he's fucking ass Are you fucking kidding me right now? You know, but the thing here's the thing though at the end of the day It's this is that when I when it's nine black guys and one Asian, that's a good situation Oh, okay, because then now you're showing them an option Right when you imagine being sitting there watching nine black guys in a role doing the same lines Mm-hmm, and then having you walk in and do it then it's like oh wow that's different

Okay, and usually a lot of times you get that part. It's when it's 50 Asians Right, and you're seeing everyone from you know Brian T to you to Canned to everyone and then it's like I'm not gonna get this There's so many other options. You know I mean there was I I did something very stupid to her. I'm as I'm going I'm learning about how to audition better and better So this one audition I didn't realize that I'm really bad at script reading and everything. I read it as a comedy when it's not It was a drama and I read the character as a comedic character and so this

So she's reading the lines that she's taping it, right? And immediately I'm expecting her to say it with like an upbeat live type of thing and she goes so what happened to that person I'm like what the fuck this is a comedy the person that popped in my head Yeah, cuz my character was goofy as fuck. Yeah, and the only thing I could do was play it out as a goofy character. She goes Well, thank you. That was interesting And I laid in my car like this Yeah You know I lost the job

Like I had the best audition and I lost it at the end. What do you mean when I was talking as myself? Yeah, I killed it right and there was a black guy. He was a fat guy and he was sitting there and he's laughing so hard and then When you're after the audition when they go this when they keep asking you questions. So where are you from? After you read, you know, it's good. Where are you from off from San Diego, man? And he's like, oh, dude, I love San Diego. You're talking you're like and I was close to him and We're just laughing and we're talking and then I poked his bell. I go fatty Yeah, and then it the whole room And I walked out

Why did you do that? He does laughing and I go I just go fatty and I hooked him in the belly I think the comment would have been okay. I think the poke was the one Yeah, like fatty, but fatty. Yeah, I mean even close if I was the director and I was having a good time and some guy did that I'd be like, oh, that's funny It's that same feeling when you have that person like quote-unquote beneath you say we're gonna do the circuit That's like you coming up. That's right. Oh I fucked up. I Have a lot. I mean the worst

Human experiences of my life have been an audition there. I have PTSD Like this thing I got this thing that this the show I'm doing now. I did audition for it You know me, I don't think I can get it. I don't know. I don't know I think it now it has to be you just have a unique quality about you want to do it or not You know, I mean because don't make me audition. Yeah. Yeah, I mean because even though two years ago I did a pilot and she made me go in I remember what happened. We were outside NBC and I'm like Feel fucking do I'm gonna leave you good. I look good. That's what she said right now

That's what you actually yeah, it was early in the morning. We're screaming screaming outside cuz it's like I didn't fuck cuz he Oh, he's always like you have to come with me I didn't wake my ass up and I'm seven in the motherfucking morning just for you to bail while we're outside the studio You know what I mean? Like I was hurt and my eyes were burning. Yeah I walked into the car Yeah, yeah, it was a whole thing you're a fucking pussy Yeah, and finally you want to see me you got go you want to see me bomb He's like I'll fucking bomb and he got the job

I got the job. Oh, that's awesome. But if she hadn't done that, I wouldn't have got the job That's pretty dope I'm gonna fall asleep and then she's yelling at me. I already know I get all the time. I'm just kind of I'm scab over from that How do you feel about like in general how Asians are doing in Hollywood? I don't give a fuck like in terms of like I think people complain too much, you know I think interesting. I think like in terms of like here's the thing I think the people that have been complaining the most are the ones who have done the least. Oh, I see what you're saying Yeah, so like mind you if I feel like if you had something to say you're

You're a veteran in this game, you know what I mean? So you have the the wherewithal of the inexperience to say something about this scenario So I have certain peers that tweet 24-7 about Asian people in media and in my mind I'm like what the fuck have you done? How do you know this? What are your actual contributions? For yourself and to the movement and when have you got shot down to even know what it feels like? Yeah, yeah When have you ever even been considered to be shot down? So it kind of blows my mind a little bit and for me it makes us look like a bunch of pussies

So my thing is let your work show and if your work is so fucking dope and even then you still won't get a chance Yeah, then maybe so I'm not really vocal about it. I just want to create and see what happens I think you and are different in that way. I think you are more confident than I am Really? Yeah, you there's an air of confidence about you and I think Gilbert has it too I tell you earlier that this next generation has that I don't have I still succumbed to Because when I came to LA there was nothing. There was nobody. There was no opportunity. There was no roles There was nothing so I still come from that life Yeah, you know like thank you, you know subservient Asian. Yeah, and you guys are a lot more

Confident you know me well That's only because people like you kind of paved the way for people like us though So you've already set that foundation for us so that we can be like this when you say it. No, that's that's truth though What about you? There is an error like between the both of you. You've never said that to me before. I didn't say paved the way I know but I see the respect I see the respect. He just gave me This young man comes into my house, right under my fucking roof, right? He don't look no prize You come here every week, bro, you've never said that before I have a journal. I have a journal Oh, you have a journal? Hey guys, I have a journal. You know what I write on my journal

What do you write on your journal your journal? What thank God for Bobby building a highway Why would I want to pay road when I can get a Because it was built on the body of dead Chinese men Yeah, it's amazing man, it's good stuff. I also want to say this to my fans Tiger Belly fans. Yeah Last week I said hey, let's play me and Russell. Yeah, right? Yeah, so I had 50 60 people Are you guys all illiterate? Are you winning? Are you just making five points?

I just want to play with you. They don't I know I mean, I've been responding to their things this and that but step up your game You play Russell. No. Oh, you know what it is. No, it's a game. I want you to play it. Okay I want you to play me on it. I don't really play games, but I will That's never been said from an Asian person in the history fucking uh, I mean I've played games But I haven't really played in years. It's been a while. Yeah, but you have played games. Yeah. Yeah, why is it that you don't play video games? Um It's hard for me to find one that I really like So the last game that I got really into was Diablo 2 and so

So, you know, so that was and then when Diablo 3 came out I haven't touched it because I feel like if I do that my career will disappear because I'll just be there You know one of those. Yeah, so I just kind of stay away from it. I'm less. I'm less is more That's okay. No, I am. I I I truly believe I really truly believe that of manifestation What do you mean? How are we? What are you talking about? Because it's so infomercial. It's so confusing. No, just hear me out. Okay. Kalyla, am I lazy? Fuck yes. Okay. Do I do nothing? Correct. But I'm a dreamer.

You know what? I'm gonna say that again and I want to laugh Because you just That felt didn't feel right to me. Okay I'm about to get emotional so don't even smile. Okay, but look at me. But David look at me I know but you're looking at me. All right, you're smiling. No, this is something. All right So, um, what I'm saying is is that I sit back and I visualize things What does this have to do with playing video games? No, because he doesn't play video games because he doesn't want to feel like

he's always working because he wants to make it. He wants to make himself. Oh, he wants to be productive. It takes away from his productivity. Yeah, productivity, but I go the other way. I become unproductive. To be productive. Exactly. So you just wait for shit to fall on your lap. Yeah, and it's worked better for me. I don't know. It has. Technically, it has. This year? You said it's your biggest year. It's been my biggest year in the history of my of my career. I I I a lot of two this podcast. I a lot of two is a lot of good as a word. Uh, no. Whoa. You're what? Oh my god. Yeah, I what? How do I say it? You can. Um, I give homage.

Homage to homage, but I, um, this has been my the best year. I think the podcast has helped. I think that I've seen it every week, but I, um, I think love helped a lot. Um, and also last week, I was on, um, the goddamn comedy jam where toky, toky the dumb dumb did a little appearance. Toky the dumb dumb. This is whoop. Whoa. Whoa. His penis. And and they, and they, they blurred out my penis, but it was, uh, people liked it. Hey, I, you last week told me that some open miker stole your joke and that Ali Wong reported it to you. Oh yeah. Wow. Really? What joke? I said that I'm dating. My joke is, um, I love jungle Asians. You know, they're the best. Oh, that's your term. Yeah. No, that's not the joke. The joke is they're amazing. They can

peel mangos with their feet. It's so stupid. It's so funny because I hear those things, but me, you know, Bart and Joe, we all say the same shit. Yeah, we do. And so, Ali Wong texted me and she goes, someone stole your joke and I'm going to, he's going to call you. And some guy from, I don't know if I got to say his name, but from Sacramento or whatever calls me because hey, I did your joke on my album and I'm sorry. Oh, his album? Yeah. Oh, fuck. And I go, because he had opened for me. So you know who this is? Yeah. But what I'm saying though is this, is that I'm not like some other comedy police where I go crazy because I know that we absorb them. A lot of times stealing is absorption. It's not, um, it's not intentional. Sometimes it's

like, yeah, you hear something. It's in your subconscious a year later. Yeah. You think of it. You think it's your own idea and then you write it down and then that's to a certain extent. I completely agree. But when it's like bit for bit performance for emotion, that's like some different shit. You know what I mean? We're like, they did exactly the way you did it. What am I going to do? He put on his album. I'm going to fucking yell at him. I go, it's cool dude. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Oh, you're nice. But that's even amazing of Ali Wong to how honorable of her. And I texted her, you're honorable. Let me say something about Ali Wong. She's fucking honorable. And I want to say this. She won't do the podcast because she just doesn't do podcasts.

But if she did podcast, she'd be on the show. But she's, you know, an honorable lady. Stand up person. She is. A lot of the gookie Asians are really the gookie gooks who are all honorable. I honestly, the guy who stole your shit was he? No. Oh, what? What's an Asian? No. He's talking about jungle Asian. You can't say jungle Asian if you're not Asian. Yeah, dog. Oh, shit. I want to say about, you know, the Hispanic comedy scene in the nineties was a war. Okay. There was just people not getting along with each other. And there wasn't really an Asian scene. So no camaraderie is what you're saying. No, there was a lot of like, Hey, Willie Barca is going to show up to the comedy store with a bat to beat in Johnny Sanchez. No,

Jeff Garcia. Jeff Garcia showed up to the comedy store with a knife to stab Johnny Sanchez. How is this? Yeah. So then Jeff Garcia, Johnny didn't show up because he knew that Jeff was there with a knife. These are comedians. So that Jeff Garcia went up on stage and then try to stab an audience member and they got banned from the comedy store for life. I don't know why I'm laughing, but yeah. So there's stuff like that. Because his stabbing wasn't satisfied. He just had to do somebody. Yeah. Yeah. You over there. You already had his head. He can't get it out. And then like when George Lopez almost strangled Carlos Mancilla to death in the lobby of the laugh factory. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, there's a lot of that going on. So, um, but the Asian comics, there's never

that. It's always camaraderie. It's always like, you know what I mean? A good, I say, here's another thing. A lady said on Twitter that I say, do you know what I mean a lot? You do. I know. So from now on, whenever I say it, you have to say it. Stop. Why? It's just the way you talk. I know. I don't want to do it anymore. And I've been caught. I've been conscious. What? People love it. It's it's you. Yeah. If you say, stop. No, I'm stopping. I use a lot of fluff words. We're not professional abroad. No, I want to be. They want you to be like exact with your words. He just says, you know what I mean? A lot. A lot. Every thought. And so I have not said it. That was the first time I said it. Oh, everybody has that though. Yeah. You don't have it. I always

say sort of, sort of. Well, I stopped. I used to say, you feel me a lot? So I was like, oh, man. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. So that's why I'm trying to be conscious of it. Because I don't want to do it anymore. It's it's a it's cheating. Yeah, because you're trying to think of the next line. It's it's repetitive. And when you hone in on it, when somebody has like, you know what I mean? Oh my god. I didn't even realize it. Yeah, I didn't either. He said it. I didn't even catch it. I didn't even hear it. It's so normal. Yeah, I didn't even hear it. I know. I had a people here also just like to the mouth regularly. I'm dying. Yeah. So that's it. What are we doing at time? Oh, wait. Did you guys watch

you didn't I know. Did you watch the new Dave Chappelle special? Yes, I did. Not yet. I thought it was hilarious. Me too. I don't know how anyone I also I'm kind of a little biased because I think Dave Chappelle can do no wrong. I can't be objective about anything Dave Chappelle, because I just think that the fucking sun shines on his ass. I think he's so funny. He hasn't lost what what didn't people I think it was the deep in the heart of Texas wasn't as refined. You know, the age of spin was really good. Oh, for sure. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But it was like recorded two years ago. Yeah. So like the jokes are a little more dated. Like he was still talking about like Donald Sterling and things that weren't as like relevant today. But I I didn't I didn't think he missed

a beat anywhere. People didn't like it. I was reading a review. I think it was on Variety or Fox. I don't remember, but it was really critical. It was like, yeah, it was good, but it wasn't or he got a lot of heat from from the LGBTQ community. They give heat to everybody though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody got some heat from them and also just stop adding shit to it. But that's his joke. He was like, what the fuck is cute? Yeah. That's a joke he was talking about. He was like, that's OK. So he was going into how basically saying like how gay people and compare compare their strife to being black. And he was like, no, hold up. You can't do that. You know, we've been, you know, we've been, you know, I mean,

historically struggling far longer, basically. And so that was the gist of it. I thought it was really harmless. I think that when he had a really good points about Filipinos, too, that I was like, yes, he's correct. Even if it was like politically incorrect or whatever, whatnot. He's like a master of words. He does it in a way where it just it kind of just I don't get offended by anything that he says. He's very smart with his words. Yeah. So I thought it, I don't know. I also have never been offended by any comedian I've ever watched in my lifetime. Like that's the comedian. Like, you know, it's a different generation now, though. Like if you read YouTube comments, they get offended by everything. If you step into a comedy club, like you'll run the

fuck out. You know what I mean? So yeah, that's what it is. I had, we had an interesting discussion earlier today. What are your thoughts on it? Keep talking, keep talking. Why? What are you doing? I'm observing it. That's good. You're being so strange. What is jazz? I love it. I'm feeling weirded out. I don't want to keep talking. No, you talk. I want to know. Okay. I just hear the breathing. I'm listening to you. I'm listening to the talk. I hear Bob go. Yeah, yeah. I'm getting on. I'm piping it. Ew. Go ahead, baby. Where are we going to sit though? So I have an alter ego that I gave my dog. My dog's name is Gobi, but her alter ego is a stripper named Trina Michelle, right? From Corpus Christi. She moved to Atlanta because that's where it's a hub of like sugaring

and being a stripper, right? Cheetah. So I call her Trina Michelle and I'm like, Trina Michelle, you got to pack your horror bag, blah, blah, blah. And he's in the room and he's losing his mind because he's like, my daughter is not a stripper, like losing his mind about it. So we got into the discussion of, you know, what you would do if, you know, your daughter is, you know, in 1920. And she's like, you know what, dad, I'm not going to like stop college and want to continue. But I like being an exhibitionist. I like the acrobatic nature of it. I'm going to be a stripper and he lost his fucking mind over it. Nah. That's my answer. Nah. If I have a daughter, she ain't going to be a stripper. You're so old school. Open your mind.

First of all, I want to be able to like, if my daughter is a performance artist, I want to support. Okay. Let's suppose this. Let's make you guys. So we're going to go. We're going to go. We're going to go. You guys are a couple. My girlfriends. No, no, no, no, no. My daughter is a stripper. You are. We're all going to go watch her. No, no, no. Listen and see her for John. You guys are gay dads and you adopted me. Okay. I'm 19. I'm 20. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. Wait. Me and David are gay. Yeah. You're gay dads and you adopt. So we've watched Beauty and the Beast together. Yeah. So many times. Can I just say this? Then I have to be the bottom. No. Wait, you have to be the bottom. He's a bigger dude. You have to be the top.

You can't know he'll crush you. You'll die, bro. Oh yeah. Yeah. I have to be the top. I have to be the top. You have to be the bottom. But he'll still be a power bottom and still thrust up. You know, you've got the butt cheeks. Yeah. You're clenching. You're clenching. You're clenching. You're just clenching to a full front foot. David, what are you doing? Yeah. Yeah. Or we do 69 standing up. You know what I mean? He's lifting me, right? And he has my ankles and he's sucking me up like that. Oh yeah. Thank you for paving. Thank you for paving the way. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for paving the highway. Can you read? Yeah. Okay. So you guys okay, David? Can we read what? Can we read what? I want to try. No, he wanted to try. No,

I want to just, no, listen. I don't want to do that, but I want to just see if that would work. With the clothes on to see if you could be above my ankle. I don't think I had the upper body strength though. Oh, that's a good excuse. That's a lie. You're going to get a text later on. Like I told you, this is the best. Hides everything. Yeah. You have upper body. Don't lie. I saw you about that new workout. You're on this like new weight loss thing. Yeah. But that's all legs, the upper body. All legs. Creating apparatus where I'm like, chain my ankles and butt tight down. He really wants to try this. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to see if that would work. But going to beauty and beauty is gay. Anyways, that's my point. You guys are gay dads. You adopted me, okay?

Wow. You adopted me. And I'm going to tell you, this is my speech to you dads, dads, dad and dad. I graduated valedictorian from high school. Look at his face. Look at his face. You know what's so interesting? Every time in these scenarios, it's like, this person has to be the highest pinnacle of human being. You know what I mean? I'm going to be the stripper, but I cured cancer. Like, what the fuck does this happen? Can we just bring it down to real? You're not valedictorian. Let's play the scene out then. Okay. So remember, David. All right. Just visualize. Right? We've been together for... Describe the sex scenes. No, we've been together for 20 years. Right? We've must have fucked. A lot. You and I 80,000 times. Right? I see it is high. But you've

also never stepped foot in a strip club because obviously you're both gay. But you and I have really eaten everything. Of each other. Of each other. Okay? Yeah. But we love each other too in this scenario. Okay? And this is our daughter. We love our daughter. All right. What's going on with your face right now? Because at this point, if that's true, I don't give a fuck what she does. I've eaten ass every day. Like, what the fuck do I care? Nobody is a stripper. Yep. No, but in our private life, nobody in the world knows that. When we close doors, like, we're like, we're shirt-tuckers. What? No, we take taker. We have button-ups. We tuck it into our pants. We have belts. We go to where we have briefcases. What are your jobs?

Corporate jobs. I need to know what the jobs are. I'm an executive at Enterprise Rental. Executive? What is David? David is a what? No, he's a key maker. He's like a locksmith. What in the world is a key maker? But he has his own business. Because he came into my business. Right. Right. Right. Years ago. Yeah. He came to your heart. Yeah. In the early 80s, you know, I walked in, you know, I was confused. Yeah. And we met each other. Anyway, so we have regular, we have regular jobs. You guys are thinking too much about the relationship. Let's go back to the stripper, please. No, no, no. I have to. I need backstories. Okay, okay, okay. I need backstories. Okay, let him build it. So, um, and we met in the early 80s, and obviously we're gay, so we can't,

so we adopt this beautiful baby. Okay. This girl. And we love it with all our hearts. Okay. We take it to like Disneyland. It took us to Disneyland. We love it. You're a stripper. You're it now. We actually created a thing where we, you and I bought a real doll, right? Yeah, we got a real doll and we filled the, the titty with milk, so that she could have real breastmilk. Oh, okay. So I could have a mother experience. Yeah, we really go out of the way, out of our way, and at night, we talk her little baby into the little cradle, right? And then we go to our room. Yeah, we locked the door we locked the door just in case the baby I can already smell the room and it smells terrible

The visuals are bringing a smell. It's a four-hour fuck fast All the baby hears is this Right and then and then the alarm clock goes up We put on our shirts. We tuck in our pants and bye David. Bye sweetie, and we go to work So now we raise this kid Private school listen private school, right? And you know and she's the lover of our lives and at 19 she comes to us and this is what she says go ahead I know I told you guys that I was planning on going to med school

I still plan on it, but I have this side of me. That's just very you know exhibition is I love You know, I've been a gymnast my whole life. I love dance. I love we used to love baby We used to love coming to you watch you show me all those musicals. Yeah, remember Sweetie remember, I do baby. Yeah. Yeah I'm gonna be my own character that I'm a Korean fob now. Yeah, of course Yeah, I love your little accent, baby I just really want to be a stripper and I want to see what that life's about. I want to make extra money And I think that with my sex appeal and with my sexual openness up

sweetie stop That's fine. You can do whatever you want with your life but I Pay for your cell phone We're cutting it off. I can pay for that myself if I start stripping. I have a course Yeah, hold on sweetie. Hey, can you go eat my butthole in the room? You're not we're not paying for medical school and you're not you're not doing that Why not because we provide you with all the money that you would need you're going to medical school

You're not doing that. It's about Well, then become become a dancer like or well, I'll take you can go to class We'll take take it a class any kind of class that you want if you want to do a live show I like the seediness of the strip club. I like that atmosphere Well, then at this point, there's nothing I can do for you, baby Go go live your life and don't call home. Oh, dang Can I put my real dad? Yeah, okay. I would call for me It would be okay

It's a little unfair for you to spring it up on us like that out of nowhere You didn't have a conversation with me about this previously your favorite father And I personally think that that's really offensive and on top of that if you want to live your life However, the hell you want then you can do it without taking money from us Now if you want to follow our rules, then of course we can support you now. I will always love you But you are now a whore But that is what I'm not selling my body for sex It doesn't matter. You're an object. You're gonna

I'm telling you can dance all you want, bitch. Yeah, you could do it with your clothes on. What the fuck does that have to do with you now? Yeah, daddy's angry. Yeah, cuz you're just being stupid. I can tell daddy. I've seen you guys be a certain way You guys have been nudist your whole life and you've we're not noticed. We've closed the door behind closed door It doesn't matter. Yeah, we are cloaked. God can't even see us. Yeah, God can't see us Daddy you break my heart. I'm a good father. I eat ass all day. I don't At all every time I drink I never share the cup with you. Yeah Okay, what if what is now and then gilbert but also just in this scenario once a year we have a special In this scenario once a year we have a special night on our anniversary

Gilbert's comes over and we do a three-way. Hey Hey, Uncle Gil, yeah, I'll be honest about the fuck your day Okay, so what if what if let's say I didn't want to be a stripper, but it's 17 I'm like dad. You know what? I want to sell my virginity online and I want to give the money to like The international your daughter. I want to give it to charity shit. What is this amnesty international get the fuck out You are gonna be sold to the sex world And also, I also kind of just say this you would never if with us as your parents You would never even think about cuz you'd know us

You would know what our reaction would be. Why is our stripper daughter so stupid? You don't know what's in my DNA Is it is a genetic I mean a DNA thing I mean, I think that there are people women who are hypersexual and they really want to perform Fuck I want to say you're not you know, fuck. No There's an element of showmanship and being Whatever fuck what if she wants to parlay that into a business down the road where she's This is you you want to do this right now. I can't even fucking collect my heels properly

No, how much money are you making though? Let's say off the business or me as a stripper off the whole business all together Realistically, let's say I take home. Okay, cash. Okay 120k a year. Of course then go ahead That's accordion way money over morals. All right, how about this would you? You you're a let's see you're really hot. Yeah Would you that's all it is is lap dances and stripping? No, it's down the road. I really like the performance aspect of it I want to parlay it into an an a business where I can teach women in the suburbs

Okay, but you can strip as long as you don't fuck. Yes, I'm not done. I'm not into prostitution All porn. Oh, no porn. I just want to dance daddy You could dance with your clothes on is all I'm saying what I'm thinking right now. Yeah, is that I? Just don't like people objectifying you in that type of way. Yeah, and I think that if you could use this versus this It's a lot more impressive. You could do whatever you want behind doors I'm completely okay with that and I'll love you no matter what but if you become a stripper and we're walking in a grocery store I might ignore you. Okay, daddy, but I have an argument to that. What if to a certain degree? I like being objectified. What if I enjoy that voyeur aspect when people are watching me and looking at me just beyond

I don't want to intellectualize this. I want to be a woman with tits and ass that's moving around and a man salivating over me It empowers me dad. Why is it so that's so unfair that I have a such a dumb daughter Life is so unfair for us. Yeah, it's a city. Oh, wow Love you as a partner. Don't forget me I don't get a chance to do it. Wow. Wow. Wow. What a scenario cloud. It's like you really Know she has things No, no, no, it's not me. I often think about how I would approach it if I had a daughter like what would you do? Yeah, I'd be really torn because I want to empower her and make her feel like a woman

God, I know you Koala. There is no way that you would agree to what I know you the only reason that I The reason why you didn't do it the reason why you didn't do it because you know, you know your mom and your mom No, my mom's sister. I don't think they would I don't think your mom would sign up for I look at awesome. She's at the top of her game Poor she's intelligent. She's she's just the best at what she does But dude, have you seen her videos, but she enjoys it yet two dicks coming out of her ears But she loves it. I I mean, I'm not But she's I love also. She's been we did our podcast early on. I love her as a person. She can she's family. I Want to share a water bottle

Okay, but she when she talks about it, she's always been a hypersexual person and she's always enjoyed I knew her when she was a kid. I know so how can you take away if it bothers you but doesn't bother her? Why why is it? I mean, I think it's but we're allowed to be bothered by it Just like you have your own choice to choose what you want to do. I'm allowed to be bothered by it as well Yeah, so I'm glad that you know if my daughter did talk to me about it That's dope. But once again, you sprung it on to me out of nowhere I could have helped you out. Yeah, if you wanted to start a business, we could have made money together Now you want to make money by yourself without your parents bullshit. Yeah

I think you're more looking at it also for the safety aspect of it being a man and knowing just the overall seediness of well For me, it's like this. I grew up with the mom That's very strong very outspoken and people respect my mom because of those aspects guys are fucking dogs They will only see you for that as smart as you think that you are doesn't mean that these guys will see you that way, too Yeah So if you are if you want to command that type of respect and the same thing goes for men, too If a guy's a fucking bitch and all he is is buff. That's all women's CMS, too It works both ways the reason why I got sober at 17

Okay, wasn't because of the fact that like I mean I did have like a spiritual wicked and I was so very desperate But I also saw my parents and the way they reacted and how destroyed and hurt they are and it's like I You know, I'm very influenced by How they feel, you know about things and so and I've been very you know intuitive in that way of like how They reacted my decisions. I think that's sensitive to them. Yeah, and I think that by me going I wanted to stand up and them reacting to that was a little That that I could go, you know what that they're delusional, but in terms of like things like Hey, you know, I'm addicted to drugs and and seeing their reaction

You know, I have to be sensitive to that as a son, you know And I hope that my daughter would be sensitive to that fact, but you're acting as if you know, you're not sensitive to us No, I love you. I respect you. I just have this inner desire to the way you but the way you're approaching us just out of nowhere Okay, I don't know where maybe Breadcrumbs a little right. Yeah, you just got naked in the kitchen out of no one That's like, of course. I knew this one. Yeah You know and then for some reason she's 17 and her lip is like hanging to the fucking Everyday cucumber missing

Make my kimchi either I try to make you come to kimchi I never can or I'm hungry and I'm tired because I have only a three hours Okay, what the fuck are we doing with time time for a question? What were we at over 110? Okay, we're long. We were long overdue. Okay, so I'm hungry. I'm sorry, buddy. Okay. No, don't ever okay You're a great gas, by the way. Yeah, it flows so easily with you And I'm your first repeat. Yeah, I mean, we have a show idea. We heard Kalala. I don't have a show idea You're in our show. We'll talk about it. It's a Korean family show. But I'm gonna talk about I'm gonna pitch it to gay dads So this was the introduction, I knew it already

We have a membership for 24 our fitness I'm hopeful vice with Kalala. Wait, wait, just before he followed me on Twitter. He's a big deal. He's Marco Polo. He's Genghis Khan. Yeah. Also, he's Go ahead hopeful vice with Kalala to gay dads This question is from Christine. Hello. I got married this past summer We have yet to take our honeymoon. My husband wants to visit the Philippines, but wants to go resort style aka no family visits Question there's no way I can keep the honeymoon location from my family What is the gentlest way to tell them that I don't plan on visiting family while we were at the Philippines? Thanks That's a tough one. That's not tough for me. Nah

That's not tough for me at all It would be it would be a very big problem for us if I said if we were honeymooning and you were like nope I don't want to see any of your family. It would hurt me because I want to see them family in the Philippines is strong The Filipino culture is all about family It would really hurt me if you said no, I don't want them Even if it's like well family parties for no reason all the time But get a wooden raft and sail down those mud rivers And get to the resort I guess snack on your mangos with your feet

Yeah I'm kidding. I think they are regular boats and it's a fresh water. You're newly what salt water salt fresh water So, what would you do Clila, how would you handle the situation it's really simple you would just have to be perfectly honest I think that Your newlyweds they have to understand that and you just You know go to a place. They can't afford to fly too Yeah, but a honeymoon is not a family thing that's the wedding was The honeymoon is a spiritual quest between two vessels. I'm not the Filipinos though. Yeah, the more the merrier come one come all

It's just everybody's involved with everything. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah, like your girlfriend. She's Korean I just grew up around a lot of Filipinos and this there's a family party for anything dude Yeah, and then just it's just always like that's I think it's a great thing You know what I mean, but I feel like when certain people feel excluded in the family They get fucking butt-hurt. There's family drama because of that shit people don't want to cook lettuce on anymore They fucking place it in half. It's like big deal. Yeah, it's a very sensitive subject. That's a really tough question I really don't know the gentlest way to break it to them other than you just break it to them Or can you do this option?

Do the honeymoon and then do a week extra and do like a visit thing done I mean, why can't that be it or cut that how many moon it have how many times you give fuck? Do let's say you're gonna do six days of honeymoon do three days honeymoon and then go, you know what? Oh, it's compromise. Let's do three days of like Also anywhere in the Philippines you can fly to for 30. It's like 30 40 minutes apart Eagles they're not planes out there Our eagle is called the monkey I know that's why I said it. It eats monkeys

No The dogs get taken up to and shit to the only living like the jungle dig the sicker Jungles, yeah That's what I assume they mean vanilla Like do you have to walk outside and carry your story everywhere don't forget to bring your story You know am I racist of the Filipinos a little bit? Yeah, you know what? I'm gonna because I'm dating one But let me say this I Don't want to I'm not getting political. Okay, because I know that people don't want to hear it

Okay, which means he's about to get political. No, that doesn't mean that okay, but in this day and age with what we're what we're facing politically Mm-hmm. I'm gonna ease up on it the racism That's hard though. I know it's very hard Because because I do it in love and oh, yeah for for laughs and when people make one of the Koreans which they do all the time It's hilarious. It's funny. Like, you know like when I when people bring me up on stage like Sunday night I brought Eric Griffin on stage and you can look at that pan-faced goop. They'd say shit like that You know the audience feels uncomfortable, but I want to say to the audience like no, we're friends and

And we're you know friends can joke around in that way. I People in the Midwest or the very like kind of PC people. Oh white people They don't have a lot of ethnic but when you're in a melting pot and you have friends that are like When I make fun of faheem for being ice, you know or the Indian I knew the lion joke early on I created that joke yesterday when I mean I Did I go I'm gonna just say that It's for fun. It's for fun because I'm just having fun, right? And so I just people think but I want to ease up a little bit on it

But you know, I think that what what what makes the world go around when you can jab each other But I make fun of white people or whatever. Yeah, and I think too like in your case, too You make fun of every ethnicity. So it's not one that's specifically targeted. Your racism is equal all across the board Yeah, I've always taken as such it depends on who's getting the most heat in the moment at the media So if that's their problem, yeah, it's it's a very sensitive thing. Yeah, cuz yeah Yeah, I know what you mean cuz like Like Asians or I feel like our safe place to kind of rag on right now But I don't think that

Also culturally appropriate time or it's appropriate time to you know for also this other races is that You know, I've said this before that there was a time that we had no voice in this country But this is my our podcast but mine Yeah, mostly yours and I wanted I'm gonna say what I want to say And I'm not gonna filter it and I'm just gonna you know Do it say say how it would be different if you excluded or if you excluded some yeah groups of people But you're not you you shit on everybody. Yeah, but what I'm saying is that our our stare the stereotype Has always been their submissive quiet. They don't you know

They just stay in a bubble. Yeah, and I'm not gonna be like that. Yeah for sure I mean, I especially cuz they say that about like Asian women a lot. Yeah, I never grew up my mom's a fucking savage Yeah, so I'm like where the fuck did this stereotype come from? Yeah, you just selected a few weak as Asian women. No, they're like that when you're around white people cuz they want a green card That's different. That's smart. No, I know That's the game plan. Have you ever seen green card your parents your Korean parents around white people? They act different, but they they talk shit under their breath I understand that but when then when you close the doors, and they get crazy my my parents do that because they say

Why do people sue? They're also very smart about that. Yeah, they know why people will sue the shit out of you Yeah, I love that I love that, you know, so he's more Tactic that's just good strategy anything else anything else. That's it. And it shows for your body No, I don't think on tears even in the book. Oh, I think it is I think I'm gonna update your No, I talked to her yesterday and she said no Ontario Sorry, Ontario But maybe it is I don't know. I'm playing some weird place. I don't know that we I got some new places

But what is that by the lab calm? I also want David promote something promote something right now YouTube comm slash David so comedy everything else Twitter Facebook. How come you don't have me on your video your videos? I don't really do to I just do like vlogging, but sketches both show Oh, what are we doing sketches? I'm up for the next two days. I have nothing going on I I have to straight up so for people of your stature

I like to think things through all the way because you're such a busy person that when I do week I just said two weeks off. I'm nothing going on. I don't have two weeks off So but for sure But for sure like if I write something for you, it's gonna have to be the dopest shit I gotta get a full crew because I don't want to waste your time. So okay do that Check out pop bar. Oh Wait, do you don't you have? Oh, yeah, so I got a soft K-town called drips and swirls. We're gonna be doing a grand opening soon

Wait, what kind of food is it a soft serve ice cream and coffee? That is right up your alley Is it what time do they close that we close at nine? Well, we got I definitely want to go what time do you wake up nine nine at night? That's a bit of an issue. Yeah, no, but what? No, but um, I want it. Where's it located exactly? K-town 8th Street. We're a street Where's it located K-town Korea town, yeah, it's a street in K-town. Okay, and Borendo. Cool We're gonna go for sure if you invite us. Oh, yeah, come through. Thank you. What else? That's it. That's it guys Thanks for listening. We're gonna do some housekeeping today or no. No, we're good. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, so make sure you're up also on Tiger Belly at Tiger Belly on Instagram On Twitter at that Tiger Belly and email us any questions at that Tiger Belly at gmail.com

Make sure you check out David's dessert places so he can be the dessert king of fucking Drips and swirls. That's the only one, right? That's the only one so far and we got a pop bar out in Rowland Heights as well That's the Asian area. All right guys. Thanks for listening. Bye. Bye. Peace Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad-free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today Or you can listen ad-free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast before you go Tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry comm slash survey