TigerBelly - Episode 85: Jordan Peele is our GOAT

Episode Date: April 5, 2017

The great Jordan Peele joins us to talk about high elves, hateboxes, sea monkeys, resignation syndrome, evolved Asians, white protagonists, internment camps, sunken places, bronsons, brosnans, wishingtons, deep brotherly love, and reciprocity.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery plus Yeah What do you think of that man? Was that Wade in the water? Yes. Wow. What the fuck do you say Wade in the water? Yes, that's what it is You look very nice today. Thank you for your hair. I came from a premiere. What what premiere? It's called the Sun on AMC I saw Pierce Bronson. I rubbed his shoulder. Yo, was that over there at the arc line? Oh, who's that Elizabeth Taylor the one that the girl that complains my girl on love. Oh on the Sun. Yeah, fuck that Why fuck it because we have a fucking guest. Oh

Talk about that. No, that's true. All right, you fucking fancy-ass Asian dude. Thank you. Okay, you guys Um, I I really believe that this is the best guest we've had on TV A lot of expectations no Dude, I'm telling you right now, dude. It's like, you know, you learn you meet people, you know, you you connect You work you you can you connect on a spiritual level, you know what I mean? And Years ago, I was on a sketch show called mad TV and

15 Mexicans watched it. Nice. Yeah. Yeah, and they loved it They loved it and I met a young man While I was on that show Who got cast by the name of Jordan Peele and he's with us right now. How about a round of applause for this? This guy right here. All right. Thank you. That's beautiful. It's a weird. I loved it I loved it. I didn't expect it. No, no last of a generous. Yeah, we are we are we're I would call us very very good friend Yes, I would say that too because we worked for five years together Yeah, and we'd not only this the work part, but we had adventures bro. We had adventures. Yeah, we had a bond of

Disgust for what we were doing We had we had a fear of how it was coming off. Yeah, and we banded together. Yeah an anger almost anger. Definitely. Yeah You just I just want to call it. You said Pierce Bronson. Yeah, that's that's absolutely not as that's not right Brosnan Brosnan. Yeah, how do you say it? Brosnan. Yeah, you know what I apologize. I apologize. It's just one of these jungle gooks No, it's fine. It's fine. I apologize. I come here. I want to talk about Bronson Bronson you fucking asshole

Bronson Bronson. Yes Perfect strangers didn't didn't start Brosnan pincho It was one of these but can I just say that he should have changed his name. Why because it's too close to Pierce Bronson Yeah, brosman, whatever See what I'm saying. It's like you got it's like if somebody said like I started and there's already a Bobby Lele Yeah, yeah, that's bulky. That's bulky. That's bulky. Yeah, and that'd be like I'm gonna change it to hero Hito Oh, whatever it might be. You know, I just you know, I it's one of the item, you know, if your name was Denzel, Wishington, right?

Would you change it? That is a perfect like that's a perfect. Yeah college football name Yeah, yeah, so We go way back we go way back a lot of a lot of adventures a lot of adventures. We were there in Houston when What's his name George St. Pierre lost to Matt Sarah? Oh? Oh, because we're doing we were hired by the UFC only one time to do commentary. That's right, right Not coming to we did some sort of like brought we interviewed people or something But my my brain yeah, I know much weed or something. Yeah, I don't remember did so what was it like red carpet style? We were like talking something like that. Yeah, it was uncomfortable. Yeah, that was a fluke though

GSP should have never lost that fight. Good. Yes. That was true. It came back and destroyed Matt Sarah But could I just say this he did lose he did lose No, that's a fluke and that's a fact and it was it was not the best fight either I remember I remember feeling like being there in person was not not as good at right As we were actually escorted into the octagon at one point before the thing and we got to walk around Yeah, what I want to get to the bottom of what it was Because because it was one of these things where we were on yeah, we were on Matt TV. So it was like we were You know, we we basically called somebody when we're invited when Matt TV is invited to do anything

We show up on time and we're like fuck anything, but Being at Hollywood Center studios Have you had Matt TV people on this show before? No, no. No. Yeah, you're the first Yeah, it was uh, I don't know. How do you feel about was it a was it a of a fun time Well, I was on there way longer than you you left that was there with Keegan a couple years remember And um, totally the last two years were it was awful

It's getting it was getting grim It was grim because we had to move and then they cut the budget for half Yeah, you know me and then we had these young kids that came up like Johnny Sanchez and matt bronger and kids Johnny Sanchez is, you know, of course much older than I am for example Me easy. Yeah, I know. Yeah. No, he's not a kid. I think on his behalf. I object to that. I know. Yeah He was 80. He was like 79 years old younger kid, but what I meant by in career wise. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Even so he's right. He's a vet. He's a vet. Yeah. It was a comedy vet. But yeah, it got grim but the um I just remember us being just kind of like always complaining and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that was it. No advertisement

I mean, imagine this you have Ike Barron holds, right? You have key and peel You got me You got you got you got you got you got uh, Stephanie. We're you Michael mcdonald airy spears. Yeah, well He's a he's a he's a very talented. He's a beast. Yeah. Um Um, come on. You gotta be real guy. Give it up. I got crushes, but I did. I know, but I did I've talked about on this podcast. I I talked about him a couple times on radio how mean Me and he was toward me at times and what doing the fucking mad tv reunion He was there, which by the way, I saw I saw just your and Ike sketch and it was great

Oh when I was living in the fucking thing Classic old school Weirdo shit And he go yo, man, can I talk to you? I go? Yeah, he goes I sat next to areas And he had it fucking queued up the radio interview from like Seattle from six years ago Why'd you say this and he plays in front of me and I just started laughing. That's why Yeah, let's start laughing. There's no there's no real consequences for you With anything right you can kind of get away with anything. Well, I get in trouble a lot

But by who I get in trouble by my my agents will say stuff my manager will say stuff and um, you know, I've had some Really horrific, you know show business tales that you don't know about you know that happened to me, right and um Things that I fucked up And um, I've had to answer to all those things. It's interesting because Comedically speaking you can get away with anything true and that's what's really important and my for for me as a friend Yes, I mean I did that comedy central thing and I don't make it my dick was out And I can do things like that and but the thing is is that's me I'm not doing anything, but

Me, right, baby. I'm sweet. That's right. Yeah So I hear you're you're responsible for his crippling video game addiction Oh, I wouldn't call it to the whole video game. It is Yeah, that's me you all right, so I introduced you I introduced him to the Bethesda like Morrowind and fallout That's the dose of the two those are the two and you went you went you went dark deep into it Like I was into it. I was like I had like a month where I was like, dude, Bobby, you're gonna get so immersed Yeah, and then like I like four months later. Yeah, you're like, I'm collecting chrysanthemum bags

Like you're you're like four months later. You're like, I can I can if you collect 100 chrysanthemum bottles You can turn them into an orb and I was like, who cares who cares? It's not it's not a They have a online role-playing games now. You can no that's not for me. No, I like Here's what you introduced me to the grind Right like with Skyrim This cave has all the blisterwort mushrooms that you can collect and they and it like what regenerates every week Right so I'll fast forward a week in the game time just so that I can get more blisterwort

Right so I can make potions to make smithing better, right which which was kind of what You know made me drop off of the game at a certain point. It felt so like you can just grind forever Yes, I love it. He's been grinding forever. It was like 10 years ago. Yeah A decade ago. Seriously. It was it probably was straight up 2007 I understand that I understand 2007, but let me say this. Okay. Yeah, I would have never fucking known about it If you didn't go, hey, you should check out moral wind Like what the fuck is it? So I went to fucking whatever the place is, you know to get it I bought it and I've been in it since

Yeah, and you start over new characters every time Especially with the with this the Bethesda games and also Skyrim or the Elder Scrolls There's eight races Right, you can be a agorian You can be the khajiit the cat people. No, I know I've you know, I've played the game. No, no, I know I know

Nord yeah, Nord A brent brenton right fuck. Yeah. See what I'm saying right now. Maybe the the dark elves. You can be the light elves Exactly right there. Hi elves. Yeah, they don't call them. Yeah, light elves Adronian Yeah, that the yeah the um the lizards. Yeah, do you ever find yourself like okay? It's 3 30 in the morning 4 in the morning You're just you're up in some like snowy hill. You're you're you know Beautiful music's playing and you look out at the scenery and you realize it's it's a dead world No, it's an empty dead world. It comes to life for me

And it doesn't lose you don't get that because I think he's a conqueror at heart He's like you you like to colonialize empty barren areas of the land You weren't there with during my drug usage at mad tv. You came on after you only knew sober bobby. That's right. Yeah You also turned me on to things like Um solitude what's solitude? Oh rumor. What's that the game show the game show solitary solitary is what it is Oh, I'm sorry my bad. Have you guys seen this? No, no one of the best game shows The reality should the the 12 year old knows it

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's exactly what it is everybody's And the crazy thing about it what everybody's eight contestants are in their own solitary confinement going crazy The whole thing is they have to challenge themselves You know the val or whoever is like hi. Welcome. She's yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and she's like you must You know eat all these bugs until all of the other ones quit There's something like and you have to push yourself as far as you can right there's like eight or nine contestants in these rooms Right. This is a reality show obviously not in america. Yeah, it's in america. It is on reality fox reality fox reality Like they don't have a pole, right?

And you have to just you know me hang on to the pole Where's foot drops onto the floor is eliminated So then like 12 hours or you have like three white dudes left, you know me clinging on yeah, but they can't see each other You don't know. Oh, so you don't know how well they're doing so it's you got to master your own will then Wow, and when you when you fall you got to hope that you were the left So some fool could be there for 12 hours just hanging by himself But you know the the fascinating thing about that show was bobby that I know you must have loved Is it seemed to prove that asian people had a pain tolerance and endurance and push themselves asian guys or girls

Fucking went the crazy and that's you know what that's called my friend evolution You really just look at me right now Then why is it why is it I'm asian too I know you are I know but she's half half french I'm half egyptian Egyptian whatever it is

Whatever it is It's half of something whatever it is Alright, let me see something right now, okay? You alright? Yeah, yeah It's an evolution Look at the hair. There's no hair on my arm You're saying that asian people are a higher form of humanity

I didn't say that They say higher Different I said different Not even progressed Just different A little smarter, a little hairless You know what I mean?

And a little bit more evolved More evolved That's what we're saying More evolved so that I didn't say any of those higher I didn't say higher For instance, China I love it

Such an ancient civilization So you think that How is that like the final stage of evolution? It's not the final we're still We're still evolving my friend You just built for torture You can flip it You can say your evolved are also just built for torture

It's true, I mean how come like every Korean movie It's like Somebody's getting Torture Especially Korean Japanese is the weird It's torture Shame and torture

Remember audition With the chicken wire Chicken wire That was the best Did anybody jerk off to that? Read that scene specifically Just one hand up I did find it strangely

Her sexy She was definitely sexy That's crazy She just looked so just porcelain Innocent and unsuspecting There was another one Where a girl crawls out of a woman's vagina I think Goju it was or something like that

Same guys Mikae Same dude I haven't seen that one Have you seen the wailing yet? I saw the wailing Hold up Is it the cats?

Do you want a legra? Bring her in here I'll have an legra I'm so sorry about the cats No problem But That one was cool That was classic Korean bat shit

Crazy cool We got Defconn 5 I'm in Is that better? Get some Dr. Pepper As long as you throw it it's not closing up I'm good It's just going to be

Do a ton of sneezes You're not going to open it for a fucker? Touch it? It's one of those fucking Pierce fucking I got it I got it Imagine it just

Instantly works right now Can I have some tissues as well? Get some tissues Jordan Is this fucking director? This is how it always works Reality is the real It's part of the thing The wailing was

It was weird I had to rewatch it and google everything Because I was still very confused about the ending Because it could be interpreted several different ways And I googled it too And from what I can tell it's like No one really knows

Subject to your interpretation Now I want to get to Since we're talking about horror movies I'll have to be honest with you My friend I regret watching The movie directed Get Out Because

My thought of you And my perception of you Changed Before When you're doing Key and Peel You go yeah I know it's great But I've seen it

I know that he can do that I've witnessed it live for years I know your talent level And I know that you're an extremely creative dude And you have a good work ethic But when I saw Get Out I was going What the fuck this is next level

And I regret watching it Because then now And now it's fine When I saw you it's fine Because we lock eyes We're in But there is a moment Where you go wow

That's the next level He's out of this world He's beyond the comedy It's a different category now And then when you see the dude It's almost as if You turned into JJ Abrams in a weird way

Wow that's great No because it's I'll tell you why It's not because you directed a fucking movie Because I have friends that all directed a fucking movie When you know you've been to your friends movies And you watch it and you go that's the worst piece That you should ever put on the scene And then when they go what would you think

It's great It's never gonna get distributed You're filling out the things after the thing You just go right into that We're not going to talk right now Because I want to give you some good But when you watch Get Out You're going number one I've never seen this before

Ever this type of movie It's so relevant It's very social in many ways But it's also weird It's got sort of like a Jacob's Ladder kind of a vibe to it Where it's like it's just got a weird Vibe in itself

The energy of the movie And it does It wins at the end which is great My only problem with it Is why the fuck Is there an old Japanese dude With the white people And this is like

Seems to be like A talking point People are writing essays about this I'll tell you in a second But I do want to say Since the beginning of my career in Hollywood You have been one of the people Who has always believed in me

Maybe to some Maybe some of it was like You just being like I have to say I was like have you seen it Because you've always Back in the day we go around And it's like

You're the fucking face of Mad TV and people recognizing you And people know you from your stand up and everything And you'd always be like wait buddy It's going to be you You talk to me like Robert Evans I believe that And you believe that

And that means a great deal to me And so Thank you but I feel like you are In a Hollywood Of filled with people Who have Fucking slammed doors in my face And all of our faces just keeps happening

You're one of the people that I feel like I've taken great Drive from and inspiration Because we live in a world of bewilderment We do There is something about I'm not saying that But there's something about

I don't know what his marijuana usage is Now It's rock bottom None It's rock bottom I'm not Saying I don't smoke weed

I'm not going to put that on it It'll feel weird The thing is After years of smoking weed and being creative The way I completed this Script Was by not smoking weed Yeah

It's like the inspiration part We'd helped The execution part The final and the productivity that needs to For the finish Because when I heard sunken place in the movie It is something that he would say Or we would say

You're in And we're really in the sunken place It's weird When you heard that in the movie That's my guy That's my guy The sunken place He smoked pot more than

Ever seen at the time Not now Zero now Maybe one Not a weed guy now But every once in a while You know I'm going to leave that door

Wide open It's there if I need it I might need it for a little inspiration Exactly And you know what dude I was sober all that time I met you dude I never sweated you about a dog No

We would see him walking down Highland He just got a car Oh wow So we hit 100 million Yeah Car with a bow came to my house Wow

So you had been taking public transportation No I was That would be pathetic That would be cool It's nothing My wife drove me everywhere We're Chelsea You know what I mean

Seriously Talk about doing a service Watch him walk down the street And we would just pull over and pick him up I had good friends People would always be like This frustrated you It was like

Just get a car Because he's making money My whole thing was like Why would I get a car I know you're going to come pick me up We're going to have a great time I don't understand what the The day you stop coming to pick me up

The car You did I haven't seen you in a while To see him pull up You should have seen the way he parked by the way He almost destroyed the car You know It was not the best parking

It was not my best work You were looking at me First time you'd see me drive It was a lot of pressure But watching him pull up in that car How old were you when you got your license 26 Amazing

I thought I was old and I got my license at 24 Yeah Literally a year and a half ago Did Chelsea make you? She didn't make me But she asked me to For a while She asked me in the beginning

I was like yeah, I'm going to do it Of course two years went by I didn't do it Eventually I did it I'm not smoking weed anymore Wow Whatever you choose to do That's you

Let me say this though I remember those times in your apartment Sitting there Pitching me ideas Talking about things Did we ever talk about get out? We never really did Maybe it's vague

Was Matt TV both of you guys Sunk in places? That's what it was Marginalized You know, it did two things for me I don't know If I would have gotten a job After that

If I didn't get that Right, so I think that Because I remember not having an agent And then getting it At least I got an agent And it put me on the map in terms of that So I can't You're so much better than a show

Of course you would have gotten I know, but those are just assumptions That's the sunken place talking to you That's the sunken place Keeping you in there You don't know that fucking place Nothing The sunken place kept me there

I had a life crisis after I watched the movie Because I had to think about The sunken place and I had these reoccurring dreams And I had to write it on a journal And get it out of me Because I totally know What a sunken place this And I'm like, that's what I've been dreaming of

My whole life and it takes me back to a place Where I feel desperate And scared I get this, a lot of people with Anxiety attacks or depression Or something I've gotten a lot of people reaching out And being like, this is what it feels like

How did you know? And it was one of these things We're writing it You can just imagine writing it That moment you sort of figure out The sunken place Oh, shit These motherfuckers are gonna lose their minds Seriously, you know

Something universal I always thought of it You know when you're about to You're about to go to sleep And you feel yourself falling But then you wake yourself up So I always thought, what if you didn't wake up Where would you fall to?

And so that was the first nugget Of that thing It could even be On par with sleep paralysis Where the monsters Come and you can't move And you see the man with a hat And all of those things

There's something about dreams That, yeah Your brain is interpreting Why your Neurals are shut down And why you're not moved So your brain's putting together this mythology Of dreams

It's like Nightmare on Elm Street She's walking up the stairs And she can't get up the stairs I can't get away from this That's why I hate having dreams Of fighting people Because I can never swing right I'm always missing

Do you dream, Bob? What the fuck? What was born dreaming, bro? He doesn't remember his dreams at all I barely do either I know I dream I just forget about it That was a sign of depression

For some people I think I dream too But forget about it The moment you wake up and have a thought outside Of sleeping is the moment you forget about your dreams But then why Sometimes Especially back in the day

I would dream and it would just be vivid And I would wake up and I would know And I loved these dreams Do you think it has something to do with That you live I live in How do I say this? An excitable world

I perform live We do things When I had no job And I was in my early 20s I had no future I was vividly remembering my dreams Because maybe that's what I clung onto But because of my

I don't know, my lifestyle Is there something to do with that? You stop dreaming because all your dreams come true I still dream But I just don't remember Or they're not as impactful Or maybe you're getting older Because the quality of your sleep as you get older

Deteriorates anyways Maybe you're doing so much Expression Dreams kind of bottled up It's supposed to resolve Your subconscious and a mix of other things Sleep is supposed to be restorative And you're supposed to resolve conflicts

In the back of your mind The only dreams I do remember are relapse dreams Oh gosh, that's so bad If I relapse and I'll panic I'll go, I relapsed And those are the only ones I remember Because I just don't want to go back That's the sunken place

That is the sunken place, is it not? It's not Did you know him when he was using it? Yeah The year afterward And you know It was when I came into his life And it was

I mean, you were a madman There was a sketch one time Where you were a homeless black man Right? And I was ahead Do you remember that? I wasn't a homeless guy I don't know why you thought I was a homeless guy We did a sketch

I was your brother We were brothers How did you get brother confused with homeless black men? I had a steering wheel on my chest All right The whole thing was we were some sad family All right, all right A parody of some documentary show

Yeah They're helping out It's a home replacement thing We're going to surprise this Poor family with a new one So we were We were colorblind family Right

But why did you think I was a homeless guy? I remember I thought you were a homeless black man And I was this severed Asian head This is a much better sketch You're pitching a much better sketch And you're trying to sell my head

I don't know That was a dream You're pitching a much better sketch We'll talk about it May we? But the social commentary I feel like In an exaggerated way

The African American experience Does that Yeah, absolutely That's what it feels like But I'm sure it's the same for We're almost all minorities in here Almost Fucking

He feels now We're George We've all felt that The Japanese man So Very good guy Not a lot of Japanese actors In Alabama

Casting out of Alabama Casting out of Alabama So I had to go to You know Yama Ken Marina Father-in-law

He's a karate master And he's Great in the movie There's many reasons I did it One, it's a shout out to Rosemary's Baby Where at the end There's a Japanese guy there

And it helps just paint this picture That this society is fucking far reaching This is an international In Rosemary's Baby These aren't just some run-of-the-mill devil worshipers This is the devil worshipers So that's scary to me This idea

And two, the idea that Because of the broken English He's got to ask the question more directly And it's like And it heightens The awkwardness of the situation But then Lastly, it's like

What doesn't make sense Old Japanese dude Billionaire comes It made perfect sense to me Now I know In my head, there should have been more Asians It would make more sense for them to auction It would make sense

I had more originally, but I wanted to Whitewash it a little bit We got to sell this thing We got to sell this thing We got to make money At that point in the movie You didn't know exactly what was going on It's like they're doing surgical

All that We're giving away Spoiler alert Spoiler alert If you haven't seen it at this point You're a fucking asshole Come on I hate you

That's my friend Watch this fucking movie But subscribe But JJ Can I call you JJ? Can I do an Asian accent? Yeah And a southern one?

It's so weird When your Asian accent Isn't up to par It's not It's not what it used to be It's not what it used to be That's probably good for the world But you broke

The movie broke records First time director And wrote Writer Making over $100 million $150 million JJ look at me You do

150 and counting 150 and counting 154 I don't know I mean when you When those kind of Number You feel different

It does feel a little bit like This is a weird Alternate universe From You know the alternate universe Where Hillary was supposed to win And we entered

We hit this fork and all of a sudden The impossible happened in Trump Well I think in the real universe Where Hillary won Jordan peels homeless right now Jordan peels movie tanks You know what I mean Like something happened

I don't know which one I want to live in I know you do Because the Trump one Can you just say this Is going to pass Unless Unless he starts to fight Which I feel like

He needs a war She doesn't like talking about politics We talked about it so much We had a podcast When the tally was being Fucking meltdown Fucking meltdown Come on

I couldn't accept it But look does it bother you That When the His rabid followers that are like So happy to see us pissed That's the worst part When they call us libtards

Really I mean we're the more College educated you fucking idiots You know that's That's I mean that argument Is not going to win anyone over Yeah I mean

It's like I mean there's plenty of College educated people Who Voted for the Fucking demon And the thing is Is that

I don't know how to live in this world And so I'm just kind of like You know I go on twitter And read things And I read articles But I'm almost I'm so scared I think I'm in fear

I think I am I think I'm in PTSD Fear right now Yeah I mean it's Well The strangest thing is that We're Time continued to move on

And it feels like Emotionally we're in this weird Suspended animation and it just Feels like we're in the wrong reality Wow So good place So good place My fear is that my own skin keeps getting

Thicker and thicker as the days go by Because it's so incredulous and so unbelievable That we're living this reality That I almost feel like Things that would usually affect me Have kind of become apathetic to I feel like I'm morphing into Like an insensitive person

Because of all this But it's also kind of fun in a weird way Well here's the fun part right First of all the feeling like Like this life is happening right now Like it ain't all peaches and cream It's like but also It feels like we're watching this

Glorious slow moving train wreck It's drama And it's drama and it feels It's so Shakespearean And you know who knows It's gonna get impeached Maybe not It's not going to end well

Yeah For him You know it's like Even if it's like history Looking back it's not going to be That he was the best Yeah it's not going to be I mean it's

I don't want to talk about politics I know you don't want to do it either But we're here Speaking of sadness have you guys heard Of the queen of segues No it's not segues She's amazing Speaking of politics

That better just be today That's definitely today When I first met her We've talked about it before I met her on Tinder Give me more credit than that You met on Tinder What's the credit though

I only had the app for a week He had like blown his load on Tinder At that point And he was my first and last date on there So yeah that is kind of A fair representation I wasn't burning rubber on Tinder The second time we made out

He's got to retell this story I have to tell Jordan because he's my fucking brother The second time we made out She punched me In the face and she says tell me you want to kill me Tell me what? Tell me that you want to kill me I had these things in my head

I knotted right on my pants I mean it was like an explosion Guys this is good It was really good He stuck her finger In my butthole all the time Watertight Like a frog

Completely watertight Except nothing Anyways what I was saying Speaking of politics And refugees and things like that Have you guys heard of the term resignation syndrome? No So it's this thing that's happening I guess in Sweden

Where the refugees from the old Soviet and Yugoslavia Are coming in and once They get rejected off of Being citizens let's say They've sought asylum in Sweden And then they file for The legal right to live there

And then they're That's denied These kids go into a full blown coma state And they stay obtunded And completely Unresponsive The state or the country of Sweden Has to grant them technically asylum

Because they're just completely incapable of moving They're just faking it Okay so there's a discussion There's two things Asylum right there We need some more vegetables So some people think it's a psychological contagion But others really really

Think that they've gone into What's called resignation It's the giving up and just completely Losing all Your soul has evaporated Yeah I've had that Me too Before Jordan got

I'm mad and I got that intervention From Fox and Dick Blasucci The drug and intervention It was like really hot I was wearing a sweater it was a Thursday night And all this like boils on my face And it was It was a Rita

A big Greek lady And her baklava Right I was sitting there like this And they were saying you give drugs out You give the drugs out to the strokes You know what I mean you don't show up to shoots You know you don't do the table reads

And I did the resignation Right there Yeah but did you do it for three years These kids have been Resigned for three years Yes for three years These are extended periods of time Like I'm not going to eat for

Four days Yeah so these people Have been fed through a g-tube When the doctor assesses them They have to Open their eyes for them They're just completely unresponsive And then when the doctor leaves they're like

They open their eyes and like giggle at each other Yeah but it's only a phenomenon With children and young or like adolescents That's nice Oh it's kids Some teenagers but they become teenagers So if it started If they're kids they're like

Oh I didn't get asylum The whole family didn't Get asylum They come as mom, dad, children Or whatever but it's the kids that get affected By the denial of asylum Does the whole family get to stay I don't think so

I'm not sure if it's a minor The family gets to stay Such a sad world That photo of that Syrian kid With the soot on his face You just went there? Chunks of like Daddy's brain matter on the face

Or whatever No one knows what that was Yeah but the tears Melting into the brain matter And she's just sitting there like this God I just want to I know I want to take that kid To like

Salt and straw And ice cream Yeah something good Get the floutas I would straight up If I could Adopt that kid right now Me too

Yeah Me too At least he's not Russian The only ones No listen Russian orphans Bobby The Russian ones they stab They fight back

They have knives The Russian kids come over They are Have orders They've got They're They're talking to the They're talking to the red giant

Back home The Kremlin I got cyanide and they have a little baby teeth So what's that I know you want I just like the term baby teeth I know you don't want to talk about what's next for you We're not going to talk about what's next

But can you give us A glimpse into maybe what you want to do next Or is that out of the question Well you know The truth is I don't really know I don't really know I've got a lot of projects That I've been working on

That I'm very excited about The question right now Is what comes first And so I have to put a little more thought To say this is strategically Inspirationally this one is just Ready I was writing all these

Ideas After Mad TV I went through a depression Right That's the moment That's the moment Where I don't know exactly What you went through

Because I remember you had a chance At the last year of Mad TV To get on the SNL They offered it to you Because they wanted you to play Barak 2008 And David The writer strike was happening

The guy that owned Mad TV David Salsman Yeah it's on Google Yeah it's on Google He said no He's contractually with us Or even less than that He could have let you go

Like fuck the year SNL go do it If he didn't do it Four more episodes left on your contract On the contract they're gonna laugh Network's gonna laugh me out of the room If I even try to bring that up So here's the thing Now I look back at it

And I don't blame the guy I mean look I got a show You put it on It's opposite SNL And this fucking guy wants to leave the show And now fuck him Four episodes left It wasn't

I think he felt insulted And he felt like I didn't I can appreciate how he felt I had a contract He gave me an amazing opportunity To be on television But I didn't feel that way At the time

I was like this is This is not right This guy's keeping me from my home My grandmother, my friend's in New York So it was So I went through a dark period Where You know I was

I didn't know what to do But what my brain Ended up doing Was Thinking of it like a A fucking villain from a superhero movie So like an art Just what do you do

You outsmart him All these fuckers that fucked me Are gonna wish they hadn't In the end Let me see something right now We all have that I call it the hate box And I have a chest in my heart

And I can tell you the name But I'm not going to But I have a lot of names in there Against Vaughn Vaughn to the fuck He's not number one There's a couple of other producers Anybody in your box is in my box

That's the way it works So what you do is you put the name Or the situation in that box And you close it But what happens is Those names in your heart They grow In the chest

And you haven't opened it And when you open it It's now a full blown creature So you had a fucking box I had a box I was in this zone of Turning it into glee And I was like

I was into it And I started writing My goal was to become A great writer If I can't be in Sketch anymore I can't be in this show I can't stand to be in it anymore

I can't be in the other one So I was like The dream is Becoming an author A director There's all kinds of I got monkey paw productions That's you

And so It's horror It's sci-fi It's dark It's comedy And I landed on This mission That is so satisfying to me

Of like All of us underrepresented people And what if The shit that we Have always been told we can't be in What if we start doing shit That's better than The others

So that's what I'm gonna do I will probably never Have a White protagonist in a movie I love white people My wife's white I don't There's enough of those

What the fuck So in many ways That was a good thing Absolutely Best thing that's happened in my life Besides meeting Chelsea If you're listening right now And you're going through some fucking

You were raped or whatever it might be Not cut You got run over by a car I was on mad tv That was my thing Whatever it might be Give me another shot at it I was getting paid money

To be honest Making me look like I'm complaining Whatever you're going through your life You lost your job At Best Buy And you can't make ends meet Right

And then like Your frog and it dies Pet frog Beloved And then you get raped Watch this Whatever you're going through Let me say something

You can spin it into a fucking positive And that's the lesson that we learned today That's the lesson we learned today That's amazing And then When Keegan left So Keegan was on mad Two more years I think

There was only one more year Keegan was on one more year And then you guys did key and peel I'm going to tell you something right now When I saw you guys On the cover Of entertainment weekly I literally teared up

I couldn't believe it I think we bought that Tears rolled up in my eyes Because Imagine it's like You know You're in an internment camp With somebody

And they get out Like you and our Japanese dudes And we're in the internment camp People are just getting shot And I'm still in there I'm still in the internment camp You got out I'm in the fence

You don't even know what the fuck I've been doing You don't even know what I've been doing I play the chuckle fuck factory In Idaho You're in love With a soulmate You got a soulmate

That's huge That's already out of the internment camp You got a fucking dope production You got your games You got your toys That's true That's still the camp But maybe I moved on to the

House part of the camp In all seriousness I want to sit down I want to fucking You're a fucking star I want to develop some shit I want to figure out what it is Because dude, dear

Here's what I'm going to do Because Kalaila don't have an idea We've had ideas I did a pilot for ABC So if that gets picked up You know what I mean It's probably not going to get picked up But I need it

We're going to buy a house I want it to get picked up But if it doesn't get picked up I'm going to pitch something this year Can you get out of that pilot ABC network Come on You know how it happened

It fell on his lap I didn't even audition They just gave it to me I just said yeah I want to say this too I might get emotional Don't look at me Don't look at me

I want to say this Just give me a second Just get in it Open that up Live there, feel that I want to say this So a year ago Things are going well

A lot of guys with me That's cool I get a call From my agent saying You got a commercial Right I never went out For no motherfucking commercial

I don't do that No you got it I'm not going to tell you what it is But it was a lot of money It was more money Than I've ever done in a year Of work Did you know that?

Anyway So I don't know what it was So I showed up to the shoot Three commercials And I see Key and Peel there And then I realized That it was for your It was a commercial revolver

On you and Chelsea's wedding Then I realized That you did it That you got me the commercial That's not a real cry That's not a real cry When's the last time I cried? He cries a lot

I do cry Listen I really want to cry I can't cry right now I'm going to try There's an old Korean tradition I don't know if you know this That when you do a fave

That big for somebody The Korean now has to kill somebody for you It's like Arya And the guy is Game of Thrones So it's like Just give me the list They'll be gone I'm telling you right now dude

That gesture People don't help each other In this business They don't I feel like I've gone out of my way To help people Just comics or whatever

A lot of kids on the road I give them more money than they normally get I fly them out But let me tell you That gesture was Almost awe inspiring For me because it's like At the time I was really emotional

He was just not in a good place at all I was in a weird place dude It came At a perfect moment It reminded him of two things That he could still work And that he had a friend And he came home and he talked about

I think we talked about it on here We did talk about it Hey and look I'll suck your dick I don't need all that Just kill the person Murder I mean look

When I was A kid And you You had been on for a couple of years Money from the road The most generous person That I've met And you would pick up the bill

And it wasn't like you pick up the bill And be like you get it next time It was like every single time you pick up the bill You weren't fucking Jack loaded rich That's being Korean too And it really is cultural Because in the culture

When you are doing better than somebody else Not that I was doing better than you Around a little longer I think it was going to be a little bit more And you were also younger I helped Nicole Parker Get an apartment Same generosity

So that shit comes back Wow you hear that kids This is a dream weaving Episode We had time It's unbelievable Perfect 50 minutes

We're not there yet I just want to say If you haven't seen the movie You fucking missed out You can still watch it You can still watch it Promote this I'll tell you why not

It really is just It's George what's up He's a lot to laugh if Gilbert laughs Otherwise Not permitted I know he's a white dude He won't be a lead for me

He's good He's fucking good in Suicide Squad He stole that whole movie He's great in it I could do it He's always been good He's always been good Every time I see him

He's better still He's a beast Sorry something just popped in my head You know how last week I was talking about comics Comic books that had Petrified shrimp That would come to life

Sea monkeys Wait I don't know what they are Can you explain to me She doesn't know what the fuck sea monkeys were I missed the segue on this one There was no segue It just popped in my head She goes hiking

With her fucking friends Like a normal fucking person I don't do that I don't move in that way They saw puddles They saw these little fucking We rescued tadpoles We killed 20 of them

No I didn't Back in the day If you looked at a comic book At the end they would advertise these thing called sea monkeys And they came dried packets And it would always be the cartoons Of the like you know Mac and me

I love that movie That McDonald dance movie They are actual animals A microscopic little animal That look like little sperm They are not even A new species Did you know that

They are synthetically made They are synthetically made It's a guy that he makes two different Like shrimp, brine And I googled it bro after she said it Because he's been obsessed with it for the past week And I still don't know what they are

I'm going to show you a photo of them They should fuck They should market it that way Like Franken sperm Right That's an experiment Gone wrong But this is what they

This is what they look Have you seen a little tank They have magnifying glasses on the tank So you can see them I miss this boat completely I would have loved this as a kid I collect tadpoles from mud puddles Bobby Yeah

But this is what they look like Yeah that's some alien shit Yeah and a guy I don't know how he did it But he was a bio A bio engineer A biological scientist Biologist

I like the other one He was a biological scientist And He created a new kind of And then you can buy it anyway I just remember being a kid And being very disappointed that the cartoon Was these

Like these monkeys with Merman monkeys And then the reality was like this little fucking Yeah but they look like that This is what they look like though Can you find the The image of the cartoon Right here we go

Do they still sell them Can they buy them? I haven't seen them It seems sort of like A moral Like somehow it's like They're abominations Because I mean they come dried right

They come to life only They're like What's up we got hands And we hang out as a family Yeah they have fucking Brickinis Oh that's funny There's a baby when they're smiling

It's such an interpretation And it's all about selling to kids It's like look this is what you're gonna get And then you get home and it's these little Squiggly protozoas Yeah this is pretty much what they look They had no bow ties or nothing Looks like it's a weird sex thing

What we do now Jordan We do a question from the internet An email they have it's called Unhelpful Advice and so let's go Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalala and the 154 million man Joined here

You guys can call me Luna I'm African American first generation American if that helps So I studied in medicine and now I'm trying to get a job I was sort of forced slash brainwashed By my parents to study super hard Aim high in medicine and now I'm waiting For the job part to happen

Which can be painfully taking a long time Now that I finished school the school part I started out as a theater geek musician But my parents said nope to that Now as I get close to being 30 What can I do to stay motivated Or to even live Do what I need to do to deal with my current

Huge debt and still live for And live life for me Oh so if it were thinking med school And she's in debt so she's probably in debt A good 300k if not more I mean it was such an All-encompassing question There was a biography that went along with that

I was like let me start at the beginning And at the end She told her life story at the end It was like what should I do But also she wants to end her life maybe Is that what she said? Just to live So she's finished med school

She's probably waiting for a residency somewhere So there's no subtext Of I'm suicidal because I'm gonna write one more sentence One more time Read the last three sentences Now as I get close to being 30 Ellipses sigh

What can I do to stay motivated In parentheses to live even In parentheses That right there is Suicide To live even Oh okay We should probably change our tone

No No I will not Because she's sending a suicidal thought To your show You know what I do man Even when I was a kid I would get parking tickets I would just let the wind

It's just money I've never put anything I know there's a lot of stress when it comes to money But I've never really It's a fake thing to me That's a good point probably This sounds like a typical situation Where the expectation

For what this person thinks A good life is supposed to be Is this like traditional Sense of like I'm supposed to get the right job I'm supposed to have it out by 30 I'm supposed to have three kids and I'm supposed to be married But the real thing is And this is where

When I was in that eight years ago This idea of like Okay I'm at my bottom What If I could do anything If I could look at this as an opportunity If I could do anything with my life What would that be

This is going to sound like It's going to sound like I'm I'm going to say it like some people like But don't do that I wasn't even I know but You looked directly at his eyeballs We were like

No I didn't mean it That's a derogatory I didn't mean it Just don't do that We were talking about video games earlier Yeah but just don't even erase it That makes me happy

I love playing video games Until a few years ago when I Started making movies Don't do that Don't do that either But I'm saying Find what Follow the fun in life

And also All that schooling you just did Is not all for naught That will It's just your life one way or another You didn't do it for nothing So even if you enter into the arts You're going to have that in your arsenal

It puts you It's an advantageous place to be To have all that knowledge in your bank But it's also Can I just say this last thing Is that In many ways Like Jordan and I

We're dreamers We dream of things In our lives And we look forward to these things I really do This year I said this last week Is the best year of my career

It has been I'm working more than I've ever had And it feels good I've always had that It's going to happen It's right around the corner This positive thing But there was a time when everything was negative

Right Maybe try switching In AA there's a saying We're a new pair of glasses You know Like Perceive your life in a different way Because if you focus on

Like the money And how much you're in debt And all this negative shit It just piles on But if you wake up a dreamer You understand what I'm saying Wake up a dreamer So now do you think

We're wrapping up Do you think Somebody who's calling in Basically I've worked my whole life I hate my job I hate my job, I'm 30 I'm suicidal

And then here is like Jordan Peele Bobby Lee be like Dream But we get this every week We get worse ones than that It's also called unhelpful advice for a reason Oh it's unhelpful So what we gave them was like

An unhelpful thing The whole time The whole time Alright That's a tricky place to be Also she's I hate to say it, it's different She's a woman

And it's different when you're nearing 30 For a woman When I graduated nursing school I just felt like I was Putting myself deeper into a prison Like I was buying into a trap And here I am like having my stepdad Text me don't be a broke millennial

Don't be a broke millennial And that just keeps That's a repetition in my head And I'm thinking I'm living my mom's dream Of finally becoming a Filipino nurse But all that while I just felt more and more like I was in a prison Well you see the running theme

You're supposed to be something We internalize it We do it Your mom Was white and she was single mom She still is She still is And yes

But she was a single mom And she did a great job with you It's unbelievable Because you don't have no brothers and sisters You were just a kid Did she instill those things? You know I didn't know them for very long

Now I know Now that you have money and you're a huge director No it's not The peels have been very cool The peels love you But your mom though Did she instill those Because we had Chris Delia here a month ago

And I remember Delia saying that when he was 6 And 7 years old You know his dad's a producer But he would bring Chris into the room To see his plays that he would make up He would do a stand up set And they would encourage it And it made him believe

That he could He's a funny guy and he couldn't do it Was that much like Your mom was always like just do what you want to do Or did you go against the grain She was very much do what you want to do But you know what my mom did She was extremely creative

So I would Go to Halloween And she always had the dope costume And she would be kind of I would say what I wanted to be And she would help me make I was a poker table These really creative

I was like Castle Grey Skull When I was a kid Cardboard box with a glow stick Oh she would make that She would make it You're always furniture Or buildings They were all ghetto too

A California raisin A garbage bag wrapped around But it counted It was better than the store bought Shitty costumes And I would go to Valentine's Day And she would help me make Valentine's For everybody in class

So there was this early Idea of being creative And being thorough With the creative I think that sunk in My mom is very very different She was mostly hungry And so she didn't have

For her it's very linear There's no time for fun When you're hungry So she never wants to get back to a place Where she's hungry And that's basically what it comes down to So it's like stay safe Tell her what she used to do

She basically brought my sister and I To be race horses Because we were swimmers We were competitors Yeah I used to get my ass beat Should we get a punch in the face But it's a very linear thought Where it's no fun at all

Because if you start having fun Then the food stops coming to the table But now Chelsea's pregnant Can I say that? You don't know that? I saw it We have a child on the way And Chelsea Peretti if you don't know

Is one of the best stand ups Over half Such funny people I feel like you guys are gonna do the same for your kid Yeah we're gonna have a fun We have a very silly household as it is Are you scared? Yeah

But I'm terrified But in a very good way I was terrified for this movie as well I know it's a very different thing But it's one of these things where it's like I kept going like well If I'm not ready then who is

How does a movie ever get made? You're teaching me so much today man Fuck bro Well it's the same with kids Kids have kids Teenagers have kids They don't have shit going They're trying to like

Fake it to you and make it That's what they used to say in AA That's really an AA That doesn't sound like a very positive message to How about make it? Just make it Fuck you guys Cause I'm gonna tell you what it means

It's basically like if you show up A lot of in AA when you're an alcoholic And you're newly sober You don't know how to do certain things Even basic life skills So they say fake it to you and make it Do it anyway And then one day you'll be able to do it

It's an encouraging thing It's not like be a false person Some people don't come in talking about So I'm sober No that's that way They're not faking it They're not faking sobriety Well I want to think

It's so weird how it all works out I don't like asking people to do the podcast I noticed that Because I called you last night Have you seen the movie yet? And you responded I love it Can you do this thing tomorrow?

And I was like what? I'm gonna just say When I saw the movie last week After I got out I was kind of in a daze of Mesmerized by it And then I was like I don't know what to say

Because I want to give you a blow job on the fucking thing She gave me a blow job when I wasn't doing shit I know So I wanted to wait And then when you called I go I need to ask Because I don't like to be intrusive That's my thing

And that's been my downfall I don't like to bother people Because you don't bother people People love you Bobby You're a made man It seems like you're uncomfortable with the love I hate it How he rejects this

I hate it Bill Burr He hated the movie The Dictator But he loved my part in it And he always says You're great because he knows He's been doing it since the movie's made Because he knows that I fucking hate when he does it

I just don't like compliments At all And I think that's something that I need therapy about Or something But if my show does not keep it up I'm gonna come To your office And I'm gonna professionally pitch something to you

Monkey paw Give him a round of applause guys That was amazing Thank you We gotta take a photo for the social media And figure out how to get you out of the parking spot Because you're really close to the fucking pillar Guys make sure you follow us on Tiger Belly

At Tiger Belly on Instagram And on Twitter at thetigerbelly And also you email us any questions At the Tiger Belly at gmail.com Make sure you go see Get Out Because it's gonna be in theaters for over long There's no deadline Still watch it

That 200 million mark That's what I'm doing Thank you I'm gonna come To your office And I'm gonna professionally pitch something to you I just don't like compliments At all

And I think that's something that I need therapy about Thank you I'm gonna take a photo And figure out how to get you out of the parking spot Because you're really close to the fucking pillar And I'm gonna take a photo And figure out how to get you out of the parking spot Hey Prime Members

You can listen to Tiger Belly ad free on Amazon Music Download the Amazon Music app today Or you can listen ad free With Wondry Plus In Apple Podcast Before you go tell us about yourself By completing a short survey Or you can go tell us what somebody's hat is

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