TigerBelly - Episode 90: Swallow for a Swallow

Episode Date: May 10, 2017

Bobo runs into an old friend. Khaloko's tears have dried. Gilbo receives a threat. We talk Mother's Day, nuclear preparedness, and water buffaloes.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Five four three two one gentlemen boys and girls welcome to Tiger Belly Everybody want to have a good time tonight You're gonna listen to me right now Oh Welcome welcome welcome to Tiger Belly. Um, I'm Slept King. I'm really impressed with your lung capacity And now we got Kalyla and fuck George. I love him. Hey guys. I'm so mean and we got Gilbert in the house

And welcome to another episode and man, I haven't left the house all day. I feel good about it Let me ask you something Gilbert. I want to start off with this. Mm-hmm. What's up with you being paranoid about that guy posting the thing about you They're gonna ruin your career or whatnot. Oh, they are. No, I so some guy Instagram messaged me and he starts off this he starts it off this way. Yeah Dear Gilbert, I am a Hollywood a-list celebrity He put the A and a-list lowercase. Yeah, didn't you put a hyphen just said a lister. Yeah, um I've had this other he's on a list one of them. He's one. He's on a list already I have a commentary a comment to go ahead. What's the commentary a list actor in

Direct messaging a d-list pod Wow, okay does audio He's our third guy. Okay, go ahead. He said I'm a white. I think he said he was a white. He's a white guy. Yeah, and he doesn't like the material We talk about on the podcast and I think we're mean to white people. Mm-hmm. He said he Can't he said he knows doors. I believe that he can shut down my career He's trying to like blackball blackball. He never works in Hollywood again And so I was like he has an a-lister have to do that. You're worth doing it on his own. Yeah

Need your help closing his own doors just shutting them down and then he emailed Bobby Saying that he mailed you too, right? Well, he emailed me saying that he had pictures of that him and I have had sex before that my pussy was subpar Beyond subpar yeah It's basically just a fucking hole in the ground Yeah, yeah, and he said that he had nudes of me and that but he's gonna keep it to himself And I'm like beg I really wanted a reply and say like please leak the nudes I want to be famous. Yeah, and then he wrote Bobby saying I'm I'm an owner of a medical building in downtown, Los Angeles

Yeah, hey hops at the hospital. Yeah, I'm a hospital Because of your podcast, I'm only gonna hire white people now because you guys are racist towards what? Okay, now you were worried about it though. No, I was not a little bit No, if it was like it was like a hey, this is Brad Pitt. I fucking hate your podcast Yeah, I'm gonna blackball you I'd be scared, but when you're saying a lister Yeah, and you have a thousand followers with a dog as you're fucking so you didn't you weren't worried about it at all No, I was like a good, but I was about to go to audition around when I saw yeah No one can do anything like that

Even if somebody that's a list Supposedly let's say Brad Pitt did did not like you. Mm-hmm. He still doesn't have the power to and also Brad Pitt has enemies So those enemies are gonna help you Yeah, and also he just doesn't there's just so many people out there What he's gonna call every producer every casting director every project and go black But you know it makes him look like a fool by the way by doing that. I finally wrote the guy back though I I just two lines that said mental illness is not a joke. You should seek some professional help because it seemed like He probably he's having some like grandiose thoughts and it was worrisome

So if you're listening to this like just we're not making fun of you just seek some help and can I just say like complaining about The treatment of white people. He didn't even troll me. I was the only person here. There was not worthy of being trolled Yeah, it's kind of rude. Oh, so racist to you. I didn't know we had a guest. Who's your friend on your face? A smile. Yeah. Yeah, what do you wash your face or no? Oh, he has one pimple Yeah, oh, yeah, you're right. I put a BR a strip on my nose It's fine, you can't notice it. So tell us about your weekend I just want to say about white people though in general though That number one, you know, I don't want to I don't want to be one of those guys that says like in get out

You know, I mean like going to a black person going I voted for Barack Obama or whatever, right? But I grew up with a lot of whites and they they raised me. Okay, Craig Crawford white Alan Meadows white Eric Purvis white. These are my friends. Okay at the inviting me to their house. I had pie Right, white people food. Yeah, and um, they played Batman and um, Batman and what's that little foosball? That's all that's always a good one. Yeah stick soccer, whatever that call they call that and I was raised with them And I went to rehab with a one-punch of white. So I'm I'm you're raised by whites Yeah, I was raised by some people were raised by wolves. I was raped by whites. So I understand. Okay So whoever's like doing this stop. He's ridiculous. He's not okay. He's not okay. He's not okay

What do you mean the weekend? I want to know about your weekend. Would you do this weekend? Well, I'll tell you what I did this weekend You know a lot of times in life you you this is people's lives you wake up you you work You do your exercises. Mm-hmm your meals. You say you bond and fellowship with your family and friends and whatnot And you go about your life. Nothing really exciting happens, but every once in a while you'll run into a spiritual human somebody that like you

You really look up to and you highly regard and you don't expect to run into them and it throws you through it through a loop that right terminology and so I was at the comedy store Saturday night minding my own business to do my shows and I'm in the lobby and like the patio outside the comedy store and I'm walking through and I hear a couple of girls go Bobby, which is normal. Thank you. Which is very normal. Thank you and I didn't turn my head. I kept walking But then like ten minutes later. I came back that same group was there, but then in the group. I see a little gook face Like a familiar gook like a familiar gook like an Asian Asian look like a fan, but it wasn't yeah, it was the

dad fan Wow, and my heart my heart stopped. I could have died right then and then I mean I started shaking. I really did. I'm like Is this a dream? Is this? Is it my birthday? This is like a lottery So he walks up to me and I'm looking at his hands

Just want to see where his hands are just in case he has a weapon. I just want to see his I just want to just see the hands. Yeah, I want to see if he's gonna go for a pound a handshake But it went into a hug. Whoa Skip I hug him right and I smelled him Because I haven't seen him in so long that I hugged him and I just sniffed It's it's sweet that smell pungent It's great the nectar and then I'm like I didn't know what to say So what do you do? What do you do? I was started stuttering. What do you were starstruck? Yeah

He was in the presence of royalty guys. What do you do? What do you do? What are you doing here? That's what I said You know I got a couple of friends from San Diego You know they wanted to check out the club and then the one of the girls he was with I knew back in the day When I started comedy she started with me and she quit for 17 years and Then she came back. She's hanging out with dad. That's fine But then she's like remember you came over to my house. This is like in 90 1995 and you know, we I was sober and you you remember we did some step worker

I don't know what it was. I go. Yeah. Yeah, and then then This other girl that they were with says to me she goes you do comedy And I go yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and then she goes is that all you do I go you do stand-up, right? She goes yeah, I go how long you've been doing she goes four months Mmm, I go cool. Congratulations, and then she goes But did you just do stand-up or do you do other things and then that defended me? He does a lot of things. He does movies and TV. He did like got into like

Yeah, yeah, yeah back in me up. Holy shit, right and I blushed Because one does one does yeah And then I walked away from him for a bit because I had to catch my breath You know, I was gather you know, I was when you called me. Yes. I was in a days of like I don't know what to do. I was like, I was on the phone screaming. Yeah And my face and what's weird my face was sweating, but when I touched my face, there was no sweat So psychological sweat Right and so then I talked to a couple then here's what I did

So then I knew that I could see him walking toward because I'm around the building now, but like on the corner So I can kind of see him. He's walking toward so I get in a conversation with Faheem Anwar This is and we I start immediately talking about show business No, you gotta you know, I mean, yeah, you gotta just you know, don't be like that guy You know, I mean I just go I went into some random like and Faheem is aware of your obsession with that There are the everyone's there Because court McCallan pulled me aside. He goes, what are you doing? I go, what are you talking about? He's like, that's that, right? Bow down

Down dog the Kings here at this point. He's like mythical Yeah, and then so much and then what I realized too is is that I truly And I'm not even this is not a joke You're gonna you're gonna smile. Are you gonna think that I'm joking? I truly love him and I don't know where I would be without him It's like every you know, Superman needs Lex every I need him Batman Joker. Yeah Batman Joker. It's a Superman Lex thing not a good reference. Yeah, it was a really really good weekend

And that's all I had to say I have a question for you Since you know, you wait Checking his Instagram is so habitual for you It's the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night, right? Mine so after you saw him you smelled him you hugged it out. He defended you Did you wake up this morning? Immediately checking his Instagram like you normally do I didn't check my Instagram this morning. Oh Wow, so you didn't all of a sudden your obsession with him has withered away. I think he I think he won

Wow, I think he came to the den faced You know his comrade We locked eyes. Mm-hmm. We did some sort of like truce not verbally psychologically Through our eyes little Asian eyes and then when I he left I hugged him and I think I'm done

Okay, so free so we you came back home and we you know We had to be compressed and then we had to make sense and reconcile with our feelings because this was a really big deal Yeah, and we came to the conclusion that there are a lot of people who we like cannot stand on social media But who we who are actually decent okay people and can actually be friends with us IRL in real life That is so fucking true what you just said That is exactly it's it's you don't know anybody through social media Yeah, and if you think you do you don't because

you know when I You know when we started dad and dad and I we had some disagreements We really never hung out But there were some arguments and and whatnot and then you don't see him for a while And then you just live through their social media And then you have these preconceived ideas about them and whatnot and then you run into them and it's not true And I I thought I like the guy. He's so nice. He's a nice guy and he's good at what he does He's good at what he does. I'm gonna maintain my opinion about him since he blocked me anyways

Yeah, you guys gotta be He's good at what he does and um It was just a nice thing, you know, my question is yeah Now this is where I feel a little bit suspicious He's very much aware of this podcast because he hashtagged in the photo that he posted of you and him he hashtag Tiger Bell He's blocked me and he's blocked the Tiger Belly Instagram. Yeah, so he's very much aware of what we've said Although you out of all the things that we've said you've said 90% of more of the negative stuff about him I probably said 10% I've never said anything negative about it. Okay. Oh, maybe that's why I've never said anything negative about him

We've said a lot about him sweetheart. Yeah, but nothing negative Facts, okay, okay, and I want to say this If that's comrades or people listening there to Tiger Belly right now who are laid information to him Tell him this he needs to start his own podcast He needs to do an hour part podcast a week it it changed my life it changed the whole situation and He should do one

Right to get on it because I want to listen You guys don't even know what Bobby subjects me to what on our long drives together. All right, I can't even get in it I won't Basically, we are gonna get into it because I'll tell you why that fan doesn't have his own podcast So what Bobby makes me listen to is a friend of a friend of that fans podcast And it's this like 60 year old guy Who thinks he's funny and he Bobby makes me seriously puts me through three hours of this? I'm obsessed with

All right, so here's the deal and I'm just gonna get out there because I'm just gonna get out there and whatever the consequences are they are what they are Okay, because I'm not saying anything negative. I'm gonna be positive about it. Okay, so here's the deal That that okay dad and I when I started were arrivals. I didn't really know that I mean we were two Asian guys Starting in San Diego at the same time, right? And there was a group of people that really supported that and That group of people hated me Tribes, yeah, there was tribes going on and that group of people

I'm not kidding you and it's not in my head. They were literally like physically assaulting me and shit Okay, so his buddy a guy by the name of Chris and He had a stage name Zoo man. Okay, so he was funny comic. He would go up and do animal noises like he was an elephant Yeah, yeah, yeah, here's a hyena You know, yeah, first of all mine are dead on. Yeah, I should have done the same thing Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're gonna do you're gonna do

Yeah, yeah, yeah, the San Diego zoo Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah Oh snakes. Yeah, yeah, that's not a snake. Oh, what was that? That was a buffalo water buffalo You don't know what water buffalo water Yeah, so I can do it too and He was dad's main like writer and supporter and when that was on last I'm standing He wrote a lot of dad's help write jokes and stuff and he's probably one of us back I mean back in the day. He was the strongest comic in San Diego at the time and they called him zoom in and

Zoom in and didn't like me and a vice versa, but then here's the thing He's friends with Wally Wong after talked about Wally right so Wally Wong Chris and a couple of other guys They have their own podcast and I'm gonna just mention it. Just give him a shout while he's on this too. Yeah, yeah Laughing in your face dot radio Dot radio or dot something laughing in your face. Hey, they're gonna get some traction. Yeah, yeah, sure You guys I've listened to every single one that you have to pay for some of them I've listened to every free one. I refuse you here's this is what subscribe Further proves the idea that like, you know enemies keep closer tabs on each other

Anybody I'm just I I respect all of those guys and I want them to flourish Okay, you're so contradictory. You just said you fucking hated them. I didn't say I hated them I said there were tribes and I said that they didn't like me and You know me if I don't hate them Yeah, all right. It's just You know, I'm no longer one is keep secrets You know, I want to be I want to you know, let everyone know how I feel about things and That's that I have no hard feelings toward any of those guys

Right. There are a lot of guys from there that I like like a guy named Kurt Swan. He's a great dude Very funny comic clean, but you know, I've I got along with him and There was this guy named Steve Kelly that I liked a lot down there and a bunch of cats and And anyway, I don't want to talk about that anymore, but speaking of Asian comics, what? You're gonna feel bad about this, but they did an all Asian documentary about Asians in on HBO and Yeah, you weren't on it. I know who was in it

Daniel Day Kim, okay good Jimmy oh yang Okay, and basically those are the only ones I knew on there I was watching I was like who I don't know who a lot of these people are I know I'm sure they're talented. I just was with Randall Park in it. No, no was Kenjung Margaret wasn't Margaret I don't care. Oh, okay. If it was Joe cool here. It'd be real. Yeah. Well, it would be a list Steve Byrne um Ken maybe

um Margaret for sure Margaret for sure Shang Wang Yeah, alley Wong was alley in it. Well, then then I don't care Yeah, because it's like also. I'm just gonna say this is that I know I'll never have a special in HBO They just this is they don't they're not gonna like my brand of comedy And so I don't really give a fuck although. It was a very good documentary. It was nice. I really like don't see that

DDK was in it with DDK. Daniel Day Kim. I never heard of him We all know it did you only hung out with him in a while for three days straight a good dude Really good dude, but um, why would you bring that up? You thought I was gonna be upset about it I thought that it was gonna probably upset you. It won't upset me if if there was really no one Yeah, if it was weird dude listen to me. Okay If I'm tired of if people don't get me I don't give a fuck All right, because

I know what I've done. I know what I want to do and I know that I'm Just gonna do my fucking thing A lot of people this podcast people go you guys talk about you mean assholes And stuff true. It's true. It's true. It's very true. Very favorite topic. We love it Dicks and assholes that a lot of people like it. Yeah, so that's that Okay, and um That's it. I'm sad about it that I wasn't in that documentary

I'm totally kidding. You know what I've been noticing lately, babe I also want to talk about Jordan Edwards You know about jordan edwards. You know about your work. Mm-hmm. You know about jordan edwards This 15 year old kid in texas freshman in high school straight a student Happens to be black Human and his brothers were in a car. They're a party Leaving a house leaving a house party cops show up as they're leaving

Car drives away Cop pulls out a rifle shoots it at the car Hits jordan edwards in the head. He dies Then the kid his brother spent the night in jail for some reason and then The next couple of days the cops like no, but they were they were driving toward us You know erratically. Yeah And the body cam this is roi oliver. That's the cops name roi oliver. Everyone memorized that roi oliver roi oliver

and But then the body cam showed otherwise that they were driving away from them. Nobody in that car had a criminal record Yeah, no one in the car all young kids all young kids and um, then he gets fired From which is not enough obviously, but not charged with murder but friday They charged him with murder I mean as they fucking should I know but I'm just I just because it's not been in the media that much I mean, I don't understand why it hasn't been in the media. Are we so inundated with all these types of stories? that's why I have to say it because

I've been kind of obsessed with it. I've been every day. I've been googling what's going on, you know And um, and then like obviously his mom roi oliver's mom the cops mom Here he would die rack. He has PTSD And he's a father and you know, they're trying to you know Um, you you he miss what's our miss oliver. I don't know your what your name is but he Killed a kid

Yeah, and when you kill a kid in this country you go to prison Okay, especially a kid that didn't do anything to you All right So that's that there's no Justification for it. I think that if he has PTSD, I feel bad for the guy But he should have never been a cop then exactly you have to really this is my thing with Cops like I don't know how to fix the system I do have friends and family and law enforcement

And you know the general consensus when when I asked them is always like you should screen them You have psychological screening right someone who served in the military. Yeah, they're probably more, you know able to You know be in that type of like Um stressful situation much better. They're probably fair better than someone right, you know green and had never been in like combat before but also you have to take into consideration the Psychological aspect of it their PTSD and also I don't know like maybe they should up their requirements and at least have like a college degree or some type of like social studies or like Studies of like ethnic studies or something to make them more tolerant people all together

Or you have a chief. I'm a chief Okay, I'm a chief. All right. Gilbert. You're a new cadet. Okay. All right. You're in my new. What's it called precinct? Hello chief. What's your name? Alberto Hello, Alberto officer Alberto. Yeah, I'm chief rongo chief bro chief rongo. Yeah, she's rongo rongo Is that a water bubble? That's what we learned here at the precinct. Yeah, yeah, we learned. Yeah, and that's what my last name is Anyway, so um

I look at your uh Records, okay, your school records. Oh, that's interesting and your grades. Well, that's very deep very good your sniper skills off the chain Thank you. You're um Drunk driving test skills. Oh great. Okay. Well, great. I know how you got access to that I do I do have access and how you put you do the alphabets from z to a yeah Did that test? Thank you. That's a good test. Thank you. Anyway And also you look good. Whoa officer. You're welcome. Okay. Thank you But anyway, so you're gonna be in my precinct and you're you're I'm under your command and uh, I just want to say this

Um, just don't you know shoot any black kids uh agreed unless Right, they have like A minigun a military grade minigun to your face Right, you cannot shoot them All right So that's it if you're like teaching like an academy at new cost put it out there just really think about

Right when especially if it's an african-american be sensitive about the situation you can't Ask them to show sensitivity if they're not aware about the history So what I would do if I were chief I would require require all of them to watch documentaries I'm alberto. What is your name? Um, this is my chief assistant Ringo Ringo. You guys have a lot of rolling Rs. You guys don't look spanish at all Her last name is her last name is What animal is that again? I don't know

A hawk. Oh, it's a hawk. Yeah, it's a hawk. What would you do? I would ask you to watch documentaries that pertain to People's like histories. I am not your negro one of them dude 13 Dude know about the fucking watts riots in LA. What what caused that? Yeah, um, watch roots Just just be culturally aware because you know who couldn't a contest. I know couldn't I can't Well, then you gotta know watch that too. Yeah, what's a good? Documentary about like Mexican immigrants and things like that that could that could help them be more empathetic Uh, Desperado, uh, Desperado, Desperado. Yes. What are the movies that you have to watch?

Mama Tambien the good the bad and the ugly. Yes. Yes Watch, um, oh, which one's that vampire tarantino movie? From dust till dawn from dust till dawn. Definitely. You have to watch that movie Will we be provided with Netflix accounts for this? Nope It comes out of your salary. So we saw that movie. I am not near negro So And It is I'm not gonna say I'm gonna say this right now

The best documentary documentary about that subject. I have ever seen in my fucking life. Same. I mean he What's his name Baldwin James Baldwin James Baldwin. Okay He's the ninth He's alec Baldwin's brother I was about to ask is this an actual Baldwin? He's the ninth Baldwin. No Oh, Jesus. How deep does that go? He's black. He was like a prolific like, um Civil rights. Yeah. Well, he was actually an author back then. He's between Billy and Alec. Yeah Anyway, yeah, no he

He's a dude that like, um He came up in the civil rights movements with like Malcolm and Dr. King and um Mercer, what's the name? Billy Mercer. No, that's not Billy Mercer. My god, Billy Mercer. Um, it was started with an e. It's a third guy. Yeah, third guy anyway, um, but his like When he talks, he's so eloquent and precise about his the language

I literally want to like Take a course What did fucking um, dr. King say that made me fucking fucked up a word Bosch He were what the fuck is a Bosch? What is a Bosch? But he used it I don't mean to be Bosch and I'm like, that sounds smartest. I know, but that's why I want to take a class I need to take a class You know, you redneck retard farm boy. Why did you know nothing? Okay, George. I'm gonna tell you what Bosch is Are you sure it was Bosch or gauche? No, it was Bosch or Bosch. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look it up

He just wanted to show off the word gauche Yeah, and also I also wanted to crack the fucking Bosch. See that I think you should take back the whole retard farm boy thing though I just I'm sorry, you're not a retard farm boy But if you haven't seen it, you guys have to watch it. It's you're not gonna watch it Gilbert. Am I is that no? No, you don't watch anything. I fucking tell you to watch man It's not on hb. It's on itunes or I don't know. It's on itunes, but it's probably it's so

So fucking good and poetic and just everything that makes gives you the feels and also like it gives you a lot of guilt No, not guilt. I mean I even have guilt first for for for being unaware of the extent of or you know Sometimes we think we know the history. We know when slavery ended. We know certain things But we didn't even know who he was. We didn't know who James Baldwin was. We know MLK We know, you know Malcolm X. We know that but there was so much more to that story We just didn't live through it. So we just know bullet points and it's not enough to know bullet points And I told you after I saw it that I would never say the n-word again You never say the n-word anyways. I know but if I did I won't

Future deal like if I wanted to even in some sort of I will never say it not a question Yeah, yeah In fact, I'm not gonna say and this is the last time I say n word even just the phrase just n and word together Oh, okay, you're never okay. I love his ad ad word And and word together. I'm gonna use afro-american. Oh, I don't like that. That's not good. Is that how you say? No, that's what my just say black. That's what Michael Richards said. Remember. Oh, that's right. I apologize I want to apologize to the afro-american community. It's like how's that come out of your 70s? How's that come out of your mouth?

Yeah, what are you talking about the afro funk and you also told them you're gonna hang them upside down and stick pitchforks in their buttholes Oh, yeah, remember he said that buttholes what ass. Oh, yeah, but like low point low point because Michael Richards at that time Was doing a lot of stand-up in town like he was at the store a lot and we used to see him really nice guy I literally I only saw him one time when Sebastian and Judd and those guys were at that Jerry Seinfeld Luncheon that I went to do remember I went to that luncheon. Yeah, you said you went. Yeah, I went to that luncheon

That's when I saw him again But um, you talked to him. No I just saw him and he was like He was talking to this black guy and he was like putting his arm around him. Oh Yeah, there's cameras around. Oh god for optics PR. I can't deal with that at all. But yeah, um So mother's day is coming up. What's up on sunday and Um, and I asked you asked you since I like to send things to moms. I'm sending my mom stuff So I was going to send your mom something from mother's day

And so I was like, hey, I'm going to send her some Asian pairs with those tashade three-in-one coffee things because those are her favorite, right? And you what did you say? Sender money and I was like, what do you mean send her money? Isn't that like really inappropriate to send like your in-laws money? You know, here's the thing about presents with you. Okay And I love you by the way. I hate when he prefaces things with I love you because something bad is about to No, nothing bad is about damage Yeah

Water buffaloes fyi. Just what is that? What is that? Just fucking move by the way they move I'm midget Why are they at the San Diego zoo? It's a human midget anyway, um When at 12 years old I said to my dad, I got dad's enough of the gifts. Just give me cash. He was oh, thank you So for Christmas my brother and I would just get an envelope full of cash And then we could get our own gifts That's the way it should always be done

I don't want to open up a gift that you give me and then go. Oh, yeah, thanks for this sock Not even two socks. Here's this one sock at one sock Thank you. I'm but not gonna ever wear it Or whatever it might be if they say it's the it's it's the heart that matters or the gesture that matter. Fuck you Give me some fucking cash What was the last gift Kala gave you? Do you remember?

No, do you remember? Oh, she's getting mad. Look at her. She's gonna get angry. Look at her eyes I'm curious what her eyes get crossed and then her lips starts quivering. Oh, no What is it? I've I've given him a ton of stuff. Um, one of the things that I just saw in the closet was something he never wears Which is a vintage arsenal JVC jersey I know I wanted him from the He wanted it. He kept talking about how he wanted it. He wanted it But there was no way to buy it and I found one seller and it took like four weeks to get here

And it's a really cool and on it just looks weird If the the color I want them forever, but I'm just never gonna wear them So it's like a collector's item. It's a collector's item. Yeah And also I like specific things like if I go Odd for a cod sauce you guys sent me those and I got that that's great. That's what you're saying But here's the thing I need desperately okay Because you guys send me, you know fans of tiger bellies send me all kinds of stuff and I really appreciate it. I really do

Um, but you guys send me like candy Because you guys want to molest me or something But I would need powdered dream water Someone sent powdered dream water. I ate them all. He did it one day and one day at a mall They're my favorite things in the whole world So, um, so my question is would you give money to your in-laws straight up in an envelope? My parents not my in-laws. Isn't that weird? I don't think it's weird in-laws Okay, if I send your mom 300 bucks for mother's day, she's she's not gonna be like

That's a little bit. All right. So if I went up to you, um, your mom Yeah for her birthday and I got Meredith. Here's $500. She would probably feel like no Bobby. Like why are you giving this to me? It's your birthday She would feel probably a little weird thankful So I'll spend these $500 and get you Corn nuts and skittles and skittles and put them in a fucking box and then give them to you. You're gonna appreciate that You'd rather have the $500 And you're gonna you're gonna ask me to spend that money to get you something that you're not gonna fucking use

And in his his argument was like, oh, it's just a Korean way of like showing love So I called Jessica my best friend. She's right. Her family doesn't do it right and they don't do it right They are and they're and why she's amwave salesman is that they're different kind of Koreans Minor working class Koreans that just they they their hand. Have you seen my dad's hands? Yes It's like they strangle a fucking Japanese dude every day every day I mean his hands are like fucking bloody and grisly. He's a fucking working class Korean Right. He wants money cash. Well, he's dying Anyway, but um, my mom wants money

So for fucking mother's day, give her 300 bucks. Okay, then that's what I'll do. I was gonna give her an Asian pair And then let's experiment to see what happens If she goes Bobby Bobby Colaco, she can't see your name ever. Yeah, she can She's gonna go color. She says my name perfectly. She's gonna color color color Send me $300. You weird She's not gonna go that she's gonna call you and go. Thank you 9 by 500 pairs. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna buy 500 in the sock

and corn nuts and whatever But yeah, just send her cash. I just think that gives Cash is the best thing In the world. It's not weird. Am I not with george? Can somebody back me up in this room? I can't I'm sorry. I can't I would the thought is nice, but I think cash is so much. It's more useful I just go go don't send anything because it's all corporate. So why you waste your time you emotionless Emotionless fucking pragmatic asshole. Yeah. Oh, no, I feel like yeah, like, uh, I don't know 10 years ago in my family We decided to stop uh buying gifts for Christmas because we're too stressful

Yeah, you're the type of people that go out in the fucking forest Unsentimental grab branches and make a we would all go together That's a noble and we just like each have like 50 bucks 100 bucks to spend and then uh, my dad tossed on his credit card We'd all spend by books because we're smart. I know what gauche means and then uh, we'd all be happy Yeah, I don't like buying gifts for people if I don't know them personally if I don't know exactly what they want That that to me is not fun. Go for the gift. Then I'd be like, yeah cash or gift card gift card But if I know Exactly what they want. I guess part of their reward is I that I feel good about getting them what I also

Also discovered something about myself today That my penis Is not standard korean is magic. Oh, wait, what that was a very different answer. I'll tell you why I just thought of it Klai and I got a little fight. We got a little spat with spat, right earlier today. Yeah, and it was like an argument And then she was in the bathroom. She closed the door. I walked in I gave her I was crying. I'm so sorry. She was crying. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry And then I pulled my penis out

When he started rubbing it on my back, I started rubbing my penis on her back And her her tears just right back into her face. Yeah, and she smiled And that was that And then the fight was over. Yeah My penis Is pure magic may I ask the technique you used? He just pushed his sack and dick right into the fucking small of my back. She squished all of it. There was like a feathering No, just squish it. Yeah, like baby. You make me, you know, he's he was like feeling telling me that he was aroused by my tears

Yeah So you make me and she giggled. Yeah, I was like stop it. He kept pushing harder into my back Can you walk us through your mind like case so the pain like you're crying right? I'm so sad Penis touches your back. He gives my feelings. No validation. Penis on your back right now. Oh my god. This is weird Baby, your tears. I forgive you That's just like that. That's exactly what happened. Yeah, it was weird. It was some like Really quick switch. It's like I really want this penis out of my back. I guess I should just dry my tears Yeah

Magic you just learn things every day y'all, you know And um, I still don't know I don't people people don't want to hear about it But if the show that I'm on gets picked up it's it's causing me a lot of anxiety When do we find out you I was supposed to find out weeks a week ago So it's anxiety this whole week. It's it's literally like you just can't You don't know where what your life is going to be like so you you everything's on hold right because

If it gets picked up then it's the machine goes and then there's you know, you start it gets busy. Yeah, right We don't know like next week is the up front And I got an email from CAA which is the agency might you're invited to the new york up front CAA party That's the club, right? That's the club. That's what that's up front is It's basically they the networks reveal their shows and and existing shows and their new shows And they put them on stage in front of like ad executives and the media and stuff and they clap

It's for me What it is for me is that because I play like when I played baltimore, I played 15 people In an empty room, right? Yeah, shit I played at baltimore in a 304 in a seat venue 15 people showed up. This is like three weeks two weeks ago We didn't talk about it. We didn't talk about it. Oh my god And I walked up and I had to do 45 minutes And then like they were rude to me the club And and then I had to take a fucking hotel shuttle back to the hotel

Yeah, and it was just a really terrible And then you you think should I quit? This is terrible Then saturday night a bunch of tiger belly people showed up. That was nice But that thursday night show was just so depressing. So you just you just sometimes want some sort of affirmation that maybe Things will get better Right

So that's all so we go to the up front Is it some like glitzy glamour party after party thing red? Yes and all that Yeah, you go all the shows are there. So for instance, like like abc with modern family scandal They'll all be there in a tunnel to go up on stage And it's just you're around. I remember like when I was on mad tv And we would go to the up front and we would be there with like the cast of 24 arrest development American Idol because they're all fox shows. Oh, okay, right and you're like

You know hanging out with everyone you're laughing colleagues and you're not obviously I'm nowhere near There where they're at But you get a taste of it Right, you go. Oh, maybe You know and then you don't work for 10 years after that, you know, whatever whatever it was whatever it was, you know But like You told me a story about how you took a girl to the up front one year Yeah, I've ever told you the story. No, I think we briefly talked about it in an earlier podcast

I'm gonna tell you something a long time ago. Yeah, and I'm not gonna mention her name But this I will always remember this So I got sober and then I met this girl in AA She was a blonde girl. She's got the Joker's mouth Just like it to her lips the edges of her lips reached her ears Jesus right when she smiled You just swallow your balls in Yeah

And I thought she was I thought she was flirting with me when I read a meeting And I knew she also wanted to be in the comedy So I go, hey, I'm going to the out front. Do you want to go? Right thinking that you know out friends are in new york. It's in new york. Yeah, and they they file your first class It's a it's a nice hotel the whole thing So she goes, yeah go Right and she gave you the vibe that like I'm gonna fuck you later. Yeah, yeah, right

and then We fly over there. We're in the hotel room. I go in for a kiss or whatever Ooh, and the vibe is what are you doing? I got that No, we're just friends like I'm gonna attract it to you. Oh, man Right and now I'm in a situation Now I have to spend three days With first of all anyone in that situation

You should get the kiss before you invite them Yeah, don't don't think that if you invite a girl to hawaii That you haven't hooked up with or kissed it's about that or and then you think you're gonna fly her to hawaii It's gonna happen to hawaii. No, she's gonna get tan. She's gonna spend money your money and you're not gonna get laid All right, so that should be up front and that's what I did. This is the learning I learned it from her. Okay So they're oh fuck two days, huh? Huh? Sleeping on I'll sleep on the couch kind of a thing

So then we go to this dinner party. All right, you're not gonna fucking believe this shit And so every table has like there's the mad tv table There's the american idol table whatnot and in the center of this ballroom is the table Which is the executives and the president of the network. Okay, which I have never even I don't even even if the bathroom was toward that direction. I would hold it So I don't even have to walk by them Really? Yeah, what am I gonna say if I open my mouth I'm gonna burn bridges

Yeah, I'm gonna go hey fatty and then like it's over. You know what I mean mad tv canceled. Yeah, I'll say something So I just I take myself out of the situation. Sure. Sure So I'm sitting there talking with some friends or whatever and whatnot and then somebody ike or somebody says Where's your girl? And then somebody goes oh, she's over there and I look over And this girl has her business card out Giving it to the president of fox television. I do comedy And this is my this is my um website and all that stuff

All you okay, so let me just how red did you turn? red I mean she could have died You want to hit her? No There was more I wanted to do but I'm gonna end it there. Gotcha. Okay I get up I go toward the main table

Where she's at I grab her wrist as hard as I can she might have mark still there on her wrist I drag her. I go what the fuck? I go. What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck? You know what I mean? And I pull her toward the table. She goes you're hurting me You know I drag her back to the thing. We don't talk for the rest of this trip pretty much. You're in the same hotel room. Yeah, ah Ah, sir Yikes, it was a terrible terrible

experience But and then we googled her the the other day. She's famous now. Yeah, so now if we go to the up front. I want to Specifically go over to the executive table. Like hi. I have a podcast called tiger belly Oh my god. Oh, do I need to get your business cards? Yeah, please. Please. I know I came here with him I think if you did it. Yeah, it would be funny Huh. Oh god. Yeah, because you'll play it up. You'll play it up. I'll tell you something though If that girl had a fucked me That's that's a pass

Right, but it's the idea that I got nothing out of it and she embarrassed and then she embarrassed me The embarrassment I can swallow if she's sucking my dick All right, but because she did his swallow for a swallow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah swallow for swallow All right, thank you for the time and I write that down swallow for a swallow. That should be a title Yeah, and his t-shirt. Yeah, so she didn't hook up with me and yet She's won and then I never really saw her again and I ran into her Five years after that and I saw her at a meeting And she had gotten married. She's sitting next to her juju

Husband and they're sitting there and I go and I and she goes hi And I just looked and I went I went to the others. Oh, yeah, no, I'll never Look at that creature again I mean she she owes, you know, I mean she owed me something She didn't owe you anything. I know she didn't owe you that but she did owe you was the Decency to not embarrass you like that. That's what she owed you. She owed you a certain type of You know like finesse about and then so that was the last time I went to the up front. So it was a terrible time

And then when I was on animal practice, which is its NBC show was on They didn't invite me to the up front because of the fact that there's too many cast members But you're a series right? I was they only invited uh, Justin Kirk and the monkey What the monkey the monkey? Monkey went an animal. Yeah, and I'm gonna say something right now I was shooting a scene with the monkey Right, okay, and this is between they're setting up cameras And his trainer go monkey this monkey. How much does a monkey get paid 16 grand a week?

Whoa What a fucking monkey And Americans can't get health insurance, but a fucking monkey. He's gonna pay $16,000 a week a week But you think he's getting any of it. He's getting zero. He's getting zero. It's called slavery. Yeah poor fucking monkey Pita get him get him get him get the monkey. But um, so that's why I want I want but I do look on deadline and it looks good Oh, this thing's popping up. Everybody fingers crossed. Let's not jinx it. I'm not jinxing it. Let's just not let's assume It's not going to get picked up. How about that? Okay? I'm going to say this If it doesn't get picked up

I'm going to go into a two-week deep depression because I really believe Because I think love Knows I got the show they do know that I got the show so that I feel like they're weeding me out of the show So if I don't get it and then I'm weeded out of love I got nothing Except for this beautiful podcast and this this this is something I should be enough. It is enough. Thank you for listening I'm gonna live through it. I'm gonna live through it because of you guys. Okay. Thank you so much. Um, how much time was that?

I have um, I I have something right that wasn't enough time. No, it's not enough time. I want to say something I Need you And now back to your regularly scheduled podcast Um, I read an article on vice about nuclear bomb preparedness and since um, you play fallout And since there's this threat of north korea dropping. Oh gosh, you know some type of like Bomb let's say in the middle of la

Okay, right. Yeah, are you prepared? Yes, because I play fallout and I'm prepared He knows how to craft. Yeah. Okay. So I'll test you then All right, actually I got based on my fallout experience. You test me. Okay, I'll test you think you're gay now Okay, so nuclear blast preparation. Okay. So let's suppose north korea drops a 10 kilo ton nuclear bomb in the middle of los angeles Okay, and now okay the bomb it's within its one mile radius. Everything is just level. I understand So within the three mile radius, however, whatever the fallout zone Yeah

Within zero to 15 minutes. What are we supposed to do? We find out. Oh shit something. We're still alive We got to go get some we see the rubble. We got to go to the hospital get some rat away and some stem packs Okay, stem packs And what we do is we have to also immediately go to some sort of like uh military facility and get some power armor Because that protects you from radiation. Got it, right? And then we'll probably just go do it like a rocket Um gas station right and we'll build this little community A settlement No, use is based on

Fallout and then you're not prepared then so the video game that you've been playing for three years has not taught you anything Yes, this is works in the video game. So fallout has not talked. Yes. It does. Yes. It does. Because what are you going to do when the ghouls come? Or when the superman what's your answer super mutants come? What's your answer? Answer for ghouls with your plan. I'm going to be long dead from radiation exposure Okay, you'll be a ghoul. All right, and then you know, and you're gonna there's two different types of ghouls There's ghouls that attack you and there's ghouls that can talk and stuff So you can still talk and stuff and you'll still we'll get you in a you're not going to be able to go to um

You're not going to be able to go to like mechatun or any of the cities because some of the cities don't let ghouls hang out there But yeah, I won't kill you, but we won't we're done fucking If you're a ghoul, you know the correct answer was just fine shelter within the first zero to 15 minutes Not close to 15 minutes. I don't want to fucking live in it. I'd rather you know what I'm going to do if I sit here a fucking bomb Where's it hitting? On the corner of pico and vermont. That's where I'm going You go to the epicenter. Yeah, I'm going to go to the epicenter, right? And then when they hit I'm just going to do a funny thing like this with my body

I'll see you freeze. No, I'm going to freeze like this and it creates a funny nuclear shadow Jesus Christ The greatest comedians ever. Yeah, Bobby Lee 600 years from now, they see my nuclear shadow and go Bobby Lee was right there the finest comedians the world has ever seen because he's doing jazz hands Yeah, yeah No, I would probably die. I don't I don't want to live in that world And then what happens so the bomb hits, right? I do what you say shelter go to a shelter Go underground and then I leave and then what happens? No because the half-life

It become you become less and less radioactive over time. So I think within seven hours. It's only like 10% radiation left Okay, what kicks up what goes into the plume eventually has to come down So that's what that's why within the first zero to 15 minutes you have to find shelters So those so those little particles of radiation do not land on you. So you don't want to be near windows You want to be in like a like a new york subway or like the the garage downstairs or somewhere just to avoid any type of exposure So this is what happens and after 24 hours then aid can come to you and the aid can come to you and then I go Okay, um, I'm alive. Okay. So I call us to go underground. I went underground and call us here clients with me Where steve?

Oh He doesn't have it underground. He was asleep. He died. That's it Then I go, all right. Well, I'm gonna go die now step outside. I don't want to live I'm not I don't want to live without my brother. Hmm. Okay. I don't want to live without chrystalia I'm definitely he's definitely dead. You're just like, you're with me already. You're with me or we went we went underground together Oh, what the fuck? I'm still I need you All right

All right, that's good Fuck chris, but okay if chris died fine But if my brother died, okay, if your sister died too, let's say my brother and sister died in a nuclear attack We would do a double suicide. You and I What then did you go? Yeah, you wouldn't be able to live on. We would Romeo and Juliet it Even if we both survived and my brother lived and your sister died I would look at you and I go I would go

I completely understand if you want to kill yourself. Yeah, but I want to do let's do it In the easiest way possible. So you don't you don't feel any pain Which is take a boulder to my head and just smash it. No, I'll strangle you Without without Look into your eyes. Look at my eyes. Put your penis on here. Yeah. Yeah. Don't cry You know what I would do Duke So her last thought is a water buffalo It's trees and animals and stuff like that. Oh my god

Um, let's not let's hope for that doesn't happen. Yeah Yeah, I just like it's if you go to the california preparedness website. It's actually there. Oh, they put it all there Yeah, they they I guess it's always been there. Well, here's what you don't do though Okay, because I've I've watched documentaries on Hiroshima and Nagasaki If the people that died, okay, well, obviously people on ground zero died immediately, but um, they evaporated But what people also did was the ones that survived they went into these water Water container storage units that's they they had these like bamboo Gigantics and people went in there

But then some of them died because it rained. Yeah, and they call it black rain When it you know back then it was called black rain and they drink They were so Thursday they drank the water and that water liquefied their insights. Oh, so if you're ever in a nuclear attack And it's raining don't You know wait until you can go to the store get some fiji water. Don't go. Oh, don't open your mouth and get the black rain There's this other thing. Well, let's you want to know more catastrophic things that are happening or are you over it? Well, let's bring it on. What is it? So I was reading this other article that because of like climate change And the permafrost melting that viruses that were once um asleep

And buried in the permafrost. Yeah are now Now alive and kicking so for example, there's this very isolated place in Syria where the permafrost has melted Where there was a an outbreak of anthrax and I guess anthrax had been buried in the dead deer In the permafrost for a long time, but because it melted So there was a strange little outbreak in a Siberian town And so now they're finding it more with like Things like anthrax and other strange like for instance the 1918 um spanish pandemic flu could resurface

No, what? Because a melting permafrost because my left foot has all of it It's part of me. It's got black plague all kinds of stuff black rain But imagine if like things that actually wipe people out back in the day come back. Oh my god, we'd figure it out, babe I'm not scared. I mean, obviously we'd have things like to rehydrate people There's certain things that can't kill us anymore, but that would still Oh Very very creepy. What what animal is that? That's just me. Oh

Oh, that's me. That's my natural mating call Um, is that it or did you guys want to just uh, say your quick quick picks for the UFC 211 this weekend? Steep aim yo chicks first. Oh, we have oh, so who do we want next who's coming? Because now we got Russell Peters wants to do it Russell Peters. Yeah, wow. He asked me this weekend I want to know what everyone think because we've had a lot of guests back to back to back So I think that we should at least we should keep it down to two guests a month so that we go every other You know I know but if people like Theo Vaughn wants to do it people want to do it now and they're asking

So what do we do? We gotta should we do two a week? Um, I don't think that we have the manpower for that right, so um Oh I don't know what to do because it's like George will schedule them A george does all the scheduling and stuff. Well, you need Russell Peters. Um information george. Sure. We also got to get Okay, who do we have in the books?

We got Steve oh coming shouldn't it be a surprise? No, I don't give a fuck. Oh, we're not surprised. Okay, Steve. Oh, Steve is coming next week Then we have um Andrew Santino. I'm looking forward to that. Yeah, and then we got the fat black dude. What's his name? That black is back. Eric Griffin. Yeah. Yeah. He's going back Right because part of that showtime bullshit, right It's not bullshit. I mean that's so beautiful thing. Beautiful thing. Can we just get to unhelpful advice please? I don't like name drop

But I just crack it. We're so big now. We're not big. Thank you for your support. Yeah Yeah, unhelpful advice with bobby and koala Hi tiger belly. I am 29 year old female and I'm a huge fan of tiger belly I was in a long distance relationship for three and a half years. I was dumped by my ex boyfriend in january I found out a few weeks later. He was dating someone else and it broke my heart He sent me a friend request on instagram two weeks ago And I sent him a dm that said friend request

Uh-huh miss me yet. Huh to be a smart ass yesterday. He responded and said yes I am dating a few guys right now, but this message is really messing with my head Any tips on dealing with an ex who wants uh back in? Okay. Love you guys Pizza bud. The trust factor Is already gone. He's gone. He's broken. All right. You end it There's a fucking millions of dudes out there There are dudes more magical than that dude Mm-hmm way more magic way more magical. He'll put their dick and balls in the small of your back. Yeah

And wipe your tears away so I just these things drive me crazy and I understand it because The people use relationship as a drug almost The excitement the drama all that stuff and it's like you got to find something outside yourself that's greater You know like service Or going out helping other people or doing something you know

Because when you make it about relationships and that's how you get your excitements and all that stuff You get into these small little things, you know the relationship shouldn't be central to who you are You shouldn't oh, it's just it shouldn't be your identity But it seems like she was smart enough to move on in the beginning and say hey, you know what this dude I'm out so I think that you should stay strong in that decision and And not given to whatever Fucking wallowing he's doing right now

And we should go a more unhelpful if we're gonna do unhelpful. Yeah Reply okay. Well reply. What should she reply? Take him back Hey You can see other girls. You can see other girls. I want to still see you too Yeah, say that. Okay. Look, I'm willing to see you And maybe have some like closure sex, but also I'm fucking nine other dudes if that's okay with you And can I pay your rent for you and then screenshot it send it to us, please. Yeah. Yeah. Also. Can you pay my rent? Pay my rent and my bills. Yeah. Yeah. Oh do that and then see what he says

And just you know down the road you can always tell him that you know, bobby and kalilah directed you to do so Okay, next question. Pete's about was at the live show, right? Yeah, that's okay My name is melissa and I'm a relatively new listener of tiger belly, but I've listened to just about every episode now I thought that growing older would mean that I would become more mature and less sensitive But I'm 20 years old now and I hate the person I've become I've always have to be right about shit and I never apologize I feel guilty all the time

But I can't bring myself to let my proud my pride down to say I'm sorry I get easily irritated and angry. I feel like such an asshole every day And I always need to feel like I'm better than everyone I have burned a lot of bridges because of this and I just don't Did you write this? I don't know how to be better or how to put my ego aside enough to be happier and less of a bitch Do you guys ever struggle with this? Thanks so much melissa I think what's interesting is that she has insight into this big ego that's getting in the way of her relationships

Like she knows that her behavior is fucking it up for her But somehow something is stopping her and I mean, yeah, also one of the steps in AA Okay, and I'm a big supporter of a because I'm in AA 12-step groups Is when we were wrong we promptly admitted it That's one of the steps is basically it's like we you can make mistakes But if you can acknowledge it right away and go, you know, I'm sorry That was wrong of me That you're cleaning your side of the street because if you don't clean your side of the street your side of the street becomes

cluttered And then there's so much junk on that side. You're just you just ravages your life How do you deal? Okay for someone who how do you deal with someone who's a repeat offender then? Let's say I was a very righteous bitch and I never apologized to you and you know, I But all of a sudden I found it in me. I listened to this podcast. I was like, you know what? Okay I'm gonna apologize to bobby. I apologize to you and you say, yeah, kalyla. You're forgiven and I repeat the same stupid egotistical Selfish behavior over and over again, but I always apologize because what will end up happening is you'll be able to

Pinpoint it before it happens When you okay when you're aware like if I say something let's say like I get in a fight with gill. Fuck you you fucking You know, I'm sorry Man, that was my bad. I shouldn't yell at you for that. I apologize the next time I'm in it right I'll be like You know, you catch yourself You know, that's what life is about. You correct your you have character defects

You're aware of them and then hopefully you'll be able to spot them and then It doesn't happen as much and no one's perfect, but she spots them this girl I know and she if she apologizes after she goes on to her one of her righteous things, right? Then and also you can see in your life The consequences of how you are but you're right though because she is only 20 years old I was a righteous dumb bitch at 20 years old and I it took me Almost till I was 28 to go back and apologize to everybody that I hurt in my early 20s because I really was

Not always a great person. Yeah, that's it's making amends It's life So something's gonna happen in your life where the consequences of your actions are gonna be so huge That it's gonna teach you a lesson to never do it again But sometimes that it doesn't come when you're 20 sometimes it comes when you're 25 And someone's gonna hurt you the way you've hurt other people and it's gonna affect you greatly and you're gonna be like oh, shit I really should fucking check myself That's all I got early 20s kalayla

Well, I think a useful frame of mind is just to look at like the outcome you want out of any interaction If and if the outcome is that you want to like feed your ego That's usually not the out. That's how we act, but that's not the outcome We want out of something so look at like if you want to be friends with this person Act in accordance with what that outcome is Yeah, rather than get ego driven or I got fucking bitch slapped by life multiple times when I was 24 And that's when I realized what a righteous little cunt I was and I was like, oh god

I cannot live like this. I've been selfish and very reckless And full of ego. So hashtag vagus Any shows Um, I'm playing what? Oh, yeah coming up I'm doing a show. Um bobby will be in cleveland june 1st to the 3rd hilarity is one of my favorite rooms Right hilarities one of his favorite rooms And the week after that he'll be at parlor live in belview, which is one of my favorite rooms

um june 20 seconds to the 24th comedy zone charlotte It's okay Come to the show come to show for sure. Come this you know, it's good. It's good july 20th to 22nd tempi, arizona I get to see my parents. Yes july 28 29th wise guy salt lake city never been there Um in august you'll be in new mexico for one day one night at the star casino pueblo beautiful room never been there September 1st to the 3rd off the hook naples florida Uh, have you ever been naples? No, I baby these things are tentative. Oh, okay. That's right. Yeah, I'll tentative. So sorry

But no the june dates are for are not tentative. Sure. The june dates are not tentative The june dates are not tentative Okay Thank you Bye. Bye. We didn't do the ufc stuff. Oh, I didn't know bobby was living if we're gonna do it now I'm gonna leave. Yeah, you do it. You do it. You know, there's a really good fight card Just your top two picks for the two points. Johanna and myopic. Oh, my my the bio the biopic the biopic

Okay, uh George kimball. Do you have any oh, should we well before that? We'll put the ufc at the end just so people can after we get our house cleaning out. Yeah, uh anything Not fine. Can I pee? Yeah, go pee mean george will talk. Okay. I don't know why I had to say that and do the mic So george told me the other day or not the other day today that he went to the coolest the coolest new spot in la Where there was a Transgent no a cross dressing. Oh, dude that my friday night was amazing. I went to see uh, I was just uh Went to a art gallery opening with gustavo very gosh of you

And uh, the art district and then uh, my cousin and I were like, hey, we're hungry. So we went down, uh Whittier just to find the first place we found like we would find like an east la This place was amazing First there was a ten dollar cover. So you're kind of wondering what happened what what you're getting like why are we paying money? Yeah packed to the gills drag queen uh Girl singing mexican hits from I don't know every mexican hit ever the place was going wild Uh, we got a seat up front wild as well

So we got a seat up front, of course, my cousin gets pulled up on stage lots of great jokes, uh that I couldn't understand all of But I kind of like laughed at ideas. Mm-hmm like uh, so you're basically laughing at premises not punch lines Yeah, I thought I was good at spanish, but like I'm not good at pa spanish. I think like when it's coming through a pa system so like There was a concept of I was getting the concepts of the jokes and then any joke that I kind of got I laughed way too loud So like one concept I got was that of course it was a drag queen. So he was complaining about his monthly times You know, uh, and I laughed at that premise. I don't know what the punch line was Then my cousin was on stage and so, uh

She suckered him to asking uh For like what her numbers were what her number was. So of course the first joke is she started going like, uh 90 centimeters de busto So, uh, 44 centimeters. I don't know what centimeters you're supposed to be but like, you know, like giving her uh sizes Yeah, and then of course got down to her dick size and it was like un montón. I don't know Un montón de centímetros and like held her hands out there and I just busted up So basically it's what you're describing right now. That's what I got is every single bar in the philippines All drag. We are the best drag queen entertainers like

By far out of I think do you think you beat out thailand? Yes, absolutely. I think that philippino comedy And the drag queen culture is unmatched. It's that's what I grew up Basically watching and being a part of so for my friends when I take them back home and we they participate Or they're in the audience. They're always such an all like you are. Yeah, but it's such a part of well I didn't know it's a big part of mexican culture. I didn't I hadn't noticed it before it might just be here But well, we're the next crowd was going crowd was going wild. Yeah That's where you should women were singing along to every Every song

Yeah, yeah, think about opening a karaoke bar slash drag comedy show in la with philippino And I only serve um, tan do I red horse sun mig gold eagle. Wait, what is happening? Gold? Those are the those are the um alcohol of the philippines tan do I rum? Oh Oh, then do I horse meat. Okay. I was like, okay red horse beer san miguelite san miguelino san miguel Then there's gold eagle which is cheaper So that's like a naturalized and there's emperador, which is a cheaper rum Compared to tan do I can tell from your eyebrows. Yeah. Ooh, that's just like straight gasoline Excuse me sir. My liver is still recovering. Where's my car on this?

Uh, any any announcements george? Oh, no, I'm good. Uh anything kalayla Oh She's like, oh, I'll just talk about beers I miss the philippines. I want to go so badly, but I'm I've Might pass out on the plane. So no, no, no, I think that I just need to get over Um, I need to once the moment I feel like I trust my body to fully travel Because it's a 22 hour flight and you know, I don't want to just go there and chill like I I want to Explore I go into the province and do all that so as long as I feel confident that nothing's going to happen health-wise then

Um, that's when I'll be ready. I really want to take you guys there. It's like my dream for you guys to experience I've been waiting to get out of the country. What I grew up into Or with I want to go to your hometown. That's what I want to see. Well, sibu is a big it's a metropolis It's a it's a big city. It's but I would take you to like the provincial areas. That's what I want to see Is that shit? Yeah, yeah, that's the most fun. The city is just I just want to see an aswang We'll look for one. We'll look for one name. We're looking for an aswang I don't see the tour guide book We have um, we have another one called an agda and that is just like a like a tree monster

There are plenty of those. I'll find you one Is that just based on people at night seeing trees just moving back and forth? I don't know what it's based on pretty sure that's just a tree, but I'm pretty terrified of the agda Are you drunk right now? You went to the bathroom and now you're just laughing constantly The release of my urine into the toilet has made me a little delirious Uh, clila, you uh MMA minute, so we're about to talk MMA. So if you're not a fan of that Goodbye guys, uh UFC 211 in dallas, texas

It's probably one of our first You know, like actual big blockbuster cards in a while. I think it's kind of been like, eh So we have the heavyweight fight. We'll start there for the championship a steep bay biopic Uh, versus junior dos Santos um Look, I used to love junior dos Santos I loved it when he when he fought kane velasquez and he wasn't the favorite And he when he knocked out verdum

Early on in his career jds Jds has been around a long time verdum has been around since pride forever or probably even before but I've um My I love jds. I just don't think he's at the very peak of his career anymore Or based on the last few fights. I've seen him in. Um, and so I think that steep bay is Tried and true and he's on a roll and I think he's going to take it. Nice. Yeah, I think he what he got decision Ben rothwell, this is jds and he lost to alice or ovarian And then before that he beats the he so he's beat steep bay before but that was at a decision and

That was pretty close. That was before steep bay was steep bay though. Sure Uh, and then we have uh, the co-main event, uh, the women's straw weight with yohanna yongechik and jessica and drudge The brazil versus poland. Um, I think this is uh, going to be a really tough It's not an easy one for yohanna because jessica and drudge is used to bigger girls Hitting her she used to be a bantam weight, right? 135er Yeah, but also yohanna is not a small girl. She's also five seven

Um, she's she's long. Um, and I think in my heart, it's always going to be yohanna. She's my favorite fighter Um, but I don't think this will be an easy one for her. Yeah final pick. It's going to be close But I say yohanna. Yeah, I say yohanna too, but you're right Like I feel like you know yohanna does those like multiple like peppering six shots. Sometimes they're not going to knock you out It's just peppering, right? But jessica without one just one loop. Yeah, she just throws a bomb So what you know remember when um, yohanna fought claudia the second time claudia gadelia She lost the first round. It was very striking. Why is she lost? But what I like about yohanna is that she can come from behind

She is not a girl who psychologically breaks down even if she's trailing two rounds She's somebody who can you know, she's such a pro that way and that's stamina too. She doesn't yeah She can go five rounds and come back the last three and I have faith in her and I hope that she wins it But yeah, jessica if you put their arms next to each other one looks like a twig. Let's be honest The other one looks like a fucking. I don't know. What are those ropes you use those uh sailor ropes She's just thick arms. She's huge. Yeah, she's a she's a strong girl too um And then we got some uh, the main card's actually really good

We have a well-to-weight fight between damien maya and jorhei mospedal who just knocked out cowboy Uh, you know, I yeah, yeah I When it comes to damien maya, I still remember that time. I think it was a fight in like the middle east. Yes, you think he's hot No, no, no, no. Oh that you and your sister are like you're so fucking hot for so long I just associated him with always like relying on his jiu-jitsu and I I kind of didn't have as much respect for him in like his earlier years in the in the UFC because You know, if it came to stand up, it was just over, right? But he has come

Leaps and bounds and is undeniably fucking amazing now. So for the first time I'm going to actually choose for the first time I'm going to choose damien maya. Wow, and that's a very good pick. Although. I really do. I love I like mospedal a lot I mean, but damien maya last there's the last six fights took out carlos condit mad brown gunner nelson The old magnate ryan le flair. It's just like what like how could I have denied him for that long? You know, yeah He's proven his worth time and time again I'm just the idiot who never saw it and I it was based on like two fights that I just wasn't impressed with and then But it's like he came back to his bjj roots because for a while

He was trying to stand up with people because I remember him doing a mark munius fight where he like But he's also not a chump anymore on his feet. He's not but he also just knows it's It's weird. He just take people on the takes people on the ground. They can't get up. It's ridiculous. Mospedal is very dangerous though If you can keep it standing up Uh, so then you have damien for that one. Uh, so featherweight fight. Uh, we have frankie edgard verse. Yeah, I hear rodriguez Oh, we talked about this. Yeah, you're just came off killing another legend bj pen Which doesn't really I mean doesn't really say much. Yeah, I mean

I would have loved to see a year when bj was at his peak very different Um, I I'd guard just beat uh, Jeremy steven's by decision but lost to jose before that I know but frankie edgars one of those guys was just so sturdy and um, I it's hard for me to imagine him losing to a year I mean, I'm not discounting years like talent. He's obviously very good and he's young and he's You know representing a country, but I'm gonna Uh, it's a tough one bucks. I think I'm just visualizing right now like frank You might be that guy just knows how to take him down

you know Because no one really tries to take a year. They're like, oh this guy can do stand-up and they try to kind of like Fight him at his game. I mean his last couple fights Um, yeah year were what is it? bj penn alex carceras gonna stand up andre philly gonna stand up and then dan hooker bj j guy And charles rosa stand up. Yeah, it's like that. He they kind of feed him these people that stand up and you're finally getting a wrestler That grinds it out I'm gonna think about it a little longer, but my money is on frankie boom

Uh, then right at that we have a flyweight fight between henry sehudo and sorgia pedis. This one's gonna be good But I have it all the way. I know but sehudo lost his last fight, right? Yeah, he lost his um last fight, but his last fight was against joseph benavides the fight before that was demetris johnson Oh, I know. I remember the the dj fight. Who did um, sergio pedis, um, he's on a three fight win streak, uh, john moraga Some other dude and then chris carcero. I'm gonna henry sehudo needs this. I know that he's going to really come out Yeah, he's gonna come out. He really really needs this win So i'm gonna say henry sehudo and then the one another fight on the preliminary card Uh, the main event for that is eddie alvarez and dustin poirier. Oh my god. It's a good free fight

That is probably going to be my fight of the night Uh, I love dustin poirier. I also really love eddie alvarez I can't believe he's back and I hope that he's come back strong from that connor mcgrath loss picked him apart I know and it was so sad reading what he wrote on instagram right after the how he was really disappointed in himself and he was It was heartbreaking. So, um I god Unfortunately, my money is on poirier. Nice me too. Even though it's like you just want eddie to get that win Yeah, you do but dustin too. He's been such a journey man. You're like just give him his chance. Yeah

Uh, so those are like the big fights. I would say uh for ufc 211 Um, and you predicted correctly also on another fight this past weekend. Obviously cannello. I mean come on. I mean It's sharp here. I watch the highlights like dude. You're so slow Dude, that was just a complete mismatch Maybe you know, there is a part of you that says will it happen? Will he be his father for one night? You know and no But the only I read soon after that the floyd mayweather and the connor mcgregor fight is now not going to happen because of the triple g And um cannello fight in september. So what they think that's going to counter

I mean, I say they still do it. No, they're not going to do it anymore. So are they waiting for next year's According to danoite No, no, no triple g is so triple g is fighting cannello. That's not already been pre or yeah But I guess that gets in the way of the connor mcgregor fight. So it's not going to happen Oh, damn. That would have been a good, you know season for boxing Dude, I think boxing's come making a comeback. It is. I mean it never really went away. You still have like very exciting fights Like the joshua klitschko fight. Oh, man. That was told you that was fun That was a really good fight. You're like they keep knocking each other down. It's like a movie. It's like rocking over and over again

They both look good. They it didn't it didn't feel like a heavyweight fight. It is so fast Those guys were really in good shape. I had a lot of fun watching that. Sorry for a panatyr Is that a name panatyr? The Hayden panatyr. They still together mary. Yeah, they have I think she's pregnant again Damn, that's a big guy to get pregnant by yeah, that's huge. All right guys That's our show makes you follow us on tiger belly on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at the tiger belly And email us any questions or concerns or whatever you want to do at the tiger belly at gmail.com You can send us packages gifts Kalila loves hats

No more hats. Okay. No more hats. We do we do have like 70 hats. No, no, no We have 350 hats. Okay. Let's change it up so I can put something else in people's heads that want to just be nice Yeah, something anything else that just top your head scarfs ascot scarfs Oh, I love ascot. Yeah, okay. We'll send George ascot scarfs, please I would say harmless harvest coconut water, but then the plastics. I'm getting just too many plastics I can't deal with it. Okay, coconut waters. Yeah, so if you can give it to me and like In your hands and your hand just show up. We'll send you the address for George get him ascot Scars and also just any kind of seeds he can plant like tomatoes

Or was that one kid sent you tomato seeds? Yeah. Yeah, so ridiculous. Shout out to him Uh Yeah, and it's fine. Uh send uh bobby some uh dream water powder, uh, and you can send all those items to us at 1626 north wilcox avenue number 161, hollywood california 90028 So send us some packages also just a reminder for everyone Uh, the podcast you're listening to right now just a reminder of the schedule wednesday audio comes out on wednesday And there's a new date for the video on youtube and that is every thursday Ooh a day earlier than usual. Um, and you can check that out at youtube.com

Um, slash tiger belly slash tiger belly. I don't know if it's the tiger belly or slash tiger belly Uh, you can follow coli on all social media at calamity k and george on Whatever you can follow him on instagram, but who yeah, I won't get any followers from this one Oh, he likes drag he likes drag a lot. Okay. Uh, bye guys Oh Hey prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey