TigerBelly - Episode 92: Brent Morin and the Whitecraft

Episode Date: May 24, 2017

Brent's heart is on the mend. Bobo has ping pong butt. Koloko gives alleyway advice. We talk Munchausen, tricknuts, and kissing Ed Sheeran.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. Do you believe in magic? Do you believe in me? Do you believe in magic? Do you believe in me? Welcome to, um, Tiger Belly. And we're full of magic here. And I appreciate ya.

And that's the thing I want to say this week. I appreciate ya. We got me. And that's the most important thing. We do have me. Fuck the rest. Yeah. Robert Young Lee.

That's my middle name, guys. Young. You guys didn't know that. Is Robert in your birth certificate? I'm not done. I have to introduce first, babe. I'm sorry. Okay.

We got, uh, I appreciate ya, babe. Don't do it. All right. You don't know what's out. I appreciate you. Ow! Ow! Ow!

Ow! All right. We got Kalyla, my girlfriend. That baby that hurt. Because you've been scratching me with your fucking dinosaur claws all day. I don't give a fuck. Let me just introduce people. I don't have dinosaur claws.

I'm Gilbert Coulombe. What was up? What's up? And we got George. And fuck. We got Gustave. And Gustave. Our intern, Gustavo.

Our intern, Gustavo. He, uh, he's been, you've been giving me fuck eyes, bro. What? Yeah. You've been giving me fuck eyes since I've been here. And since, since I saw you and I have a girlfriend and I would never fuck you. Okay. Gustavo.

And we have a very special guest tonight. We have, um, I've loved this guy for so long, man. I think he's a cutie pie for sure. All day, every day. For sure. Uh-huh. His name is Brent Moore. And everybody give him a round of applause.

Everybody. Yeah. What's up? Now I can talk. You can talk. What? Whoa. Yeah, you can.

You said not to say anything. You're gonna want to give me a, want to give introductions. Okay. So now here comes the nerves. How long? What? Nerves? I'm a fan.

I'm a fan. Bro. I'm a fan. Talk about nerves, dude. You're a TV star. I was. You're a TV star. I will.

It may not. It does. When it does. And sometimes it doesn't. Yeah, maybe. I guess you're right. It might not. You might not.

Right? You get to shoot it. You'll make some money. I know, but you had three seasons on a fucking Emmy awarding winning show. Well, no, we didn't. We survived. I'm going to spread that lie. Please do.

Emmy awarding winning show. He's an Emmy awarding. She's undatable. Emmy nominee. Undatable with Chris Delia. We've had him on the show. Very ugly man. Excuse me.

It's the nerves. Did you see it was ugly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's my favorite thing to do is mess with Chris. It is? Yeah. But you guys together are very good. Yeah.

We had a great chemistry, actually. That was a lot of fun. And Rick Glassman. That was fun? Rick Glassman. Yes. Annoying. Well, Rick Glassman lives next door to me in my apartment complex.

Oh, he does? Yeah. We lived there when he was a waiter and I was a PA. We lived in the same place. Like we carpooled to the test together for that show. Oh, you both got it. We both got it. And that was his first audition I heard.

It was his first like pilot audition. Yeah. And he booked the first audition he went on. What? And the reason why I heard was from what I heard was because when you haven't done it before, you don't know what the rule or whatever the the vibe is, what you're supposed to be like. So he just went in being himself.

Yeah. And he booked the first pilot he went on, which is a fucking miracle. Yeah, he killed. You want to go kill yourself now? Yeah. Yeah. A lot of people do. A lot of people.

It was kind of, it felt bad for Rick. Yeah. He's an actor. It's so real. He's good looking. You're very new out of things. I know. I know.

I know. He's just got a first audition. You get a man out. Yeah, it was really annoying. Okay. Okay. It was very annoying, but we got to go through it together, which was nice. Was it nerve-wracking?

It was very nerve-wracking. I was a PA at Conan and he was a waiter. So we would sit outside Warner Brothers Studios and be like, if I don't get this, I need to be with you for a couple of weeks. And he said, if I don't get this, I won't see you for a while. And who was in the room when you auditioned? Bob Greenblatt. I mean, Bob was there.

But he's from NBC. Peter Roth. He was the Peter Roth president. I just saw him, too. Yeah. Because Warner Brothers did my pilot. Yeah. Yeah.

So Peter Roth had to approve me, too. It was very, it was fun. It was set up to win. We had Bill Lawrence that created the show. He set me up to win because I had to go against a good actor named Skyler Aston. Oh, yeah. He's very good. He basically was the guy who was taking every part for me at the time because he could sing

and dance and act. And that's the thing I do. You could sing, too. I know. That's why he took everything. You want to harmonize something with me? No. The magic song.

Yeah. Ready? I'm going to sing the magic. Do you believe in magic? Do you believe in me? The one I made up earlier? I don't know lyrics. It's fine.

I'm going to tell you what it is. Do you believe in magic? Do you believe in me? Do you believe in magic? So let me do the first time and then you'll harmonize after that. Okay. Do you believe in magic? Do you believe?

I was trying to harmonize. I thought you told him the harmonize. Let me see the first two things and then go to the second round, right? Because I don't even know how the song goes yet, right? Okay. All right. Just listen up, dude. All right.

Do you believe in magic? Do you believe in me? Okay. Do you believe in magic? Do you believe in me? Wow. That was terrible. I was trying to harmonize.

I thought you told him the harmonize. I was supposed to harmonize. Let me see the first two things. Okay. And then go to the second round, right? Yeah. That was terrible. And now you're on Undateable.

I'm on Undateable though. I had to sing every week. I had to learn every pop song every week. You're singing Katy Perry's Roar. I'm like, how's it go? They're like, learn the lyrics and it's live. Wow. Was it scary or no?

The first time probably. No. Actually, to be honest, I think I had to open my audition by singing and I think that's the reason I booked it because that's more vulnerable than acting. And once I was done singing and I went into the acting part, I was like, oh, I could do this. Because once you got to sing and do that thing, it's really special to be messing with me. That's the worst human experience a human being can go through is testing.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I don't know why they do it. The way they do it, especially the live ones, they do it live. I know Warner Brothers does it. How to walk us through the process. I like it live because I just had one for CBS this year and I did not like that it was on tape because I need to meet in charm and I have to be that in the room.

Right. I like it that way. No, no, no. That was this. I like to go. I need a couple of shots. Do you fart? Yep.

Okay. Well, excuse me. It would be suffice. Excuse me. That was my fault. Okay. You're welcome. You're welcome.

I need. So pissed. Yeah. Don't do that again. Yeah. Because now I don't even know what I'm talking about. You need a couple of shots. You need a couple of shots.

I know. I was kidding, baby. I was trying to get into it. A couple of shots. What do you mean? Like takes? Yeah. So Jimmy, can I do it again?

I need that. Oh, okay. Because if I don't have it, right, then if I don't have a fucking, I need a, what do you call it? A sides? That's sides. Why do you do that? A safety net.

A safety net. What? How did I get that? It feels like you're over here. I'm very good, though, for improv. You added information. Yeah. It was incorrect, but.

Yeah, it was incorrect. Yeah. Give me another one. Oh, those cookies look too hot to touch. Yes. Very good. You did groundling classes? No, no, no.

Oh, that was good. Give me one. Well, do I? Yeah, give me one. You hold the crayfish. Ooh, quantum physics. What? Oh, what?

Fresh out of the oven. Excuse me. Wasn't that pretty good? What did you take classes, sir? Yeah, what? What did you take classes? Korea, Seoul, Korea. Oh, just the first problem with this is the book's too big.

Very good. Yeah, George likes improv jokes. What? Yeah, but the reason. That's a fun game, huh? That's all improv is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And go.

And go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What happened to my hat? Yeah. I crushed. And then the rule is always what you can't deny. No. So if somebody says, I got you a gift, you're supposed to add information, but I like to

deny. Bobby, I got you a gift. There's nothing in your hand. There's nothing there. And scene. And scene. And then I go home and I take a bath. I do it with me.

I want to do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here you go, Bobby. Wow. You got nothing. You're nuts at your shirt. I had a dry clue. Oh, see what he did?

He saved it. By adding. No, but let me show you how to save that. Yeah, why? Keep going. All right, so. Nuts, this is your shirt. That's, there's nothing there, but.

Oh my God. Where'd your shirt go? Ah. See? What he just did? Why were my hands like this for so long? You have carpal tunnel. I'm both hands.

Oh my God. Yeah. My father. Yeah. See, now I made it about my dad. That's how I got out of that. The reason the why it's scary, the test is because you, we've talked about this before. I know people don't want to hear about show business, but you know how much you're between

you and another guy. Yep. And you know how much money you're going to lose. Oh yeah. If you don't get it. So do they make you, do they give you the offer and you see the number before you actually test them? You see the number, you plan your future.

Yeah. All the future. You buy a house. In your head. Oh, okay. Yeah. This is the thing that could happen. Like, I don't know if they have a cribs now, but I could do one.

The show goes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I remember a Rosenbaum I had tested for his show. As soon as I opened my mouth, I knew I wasn't going to get it. Really?

Yeah. The last time I auditioned for Peter Roth was for some other show, the thing I tested for. As soon as I opened my mouth, I knew I was going to get it. So it's like. That's how it got to be in your head though. Because you're just, you seem like you test through the roof. Terrible.

Now you test through the roof. There's no way. God, I love your support. It has to be. I really love your support though. I don't think. I don't know. No, I'm so sorry about.

Transition. Look at me. Yeah. I'm so very sorry about the breakup. Oh yeah. What breakup? His girl left him. Yeah.

Are we allowed to talk about it? I'm going to talk about it. It's okay. I liked her. What's her name again? Just give me first name. I'll do first name. Angie?

Yeah. Right person. Beautiful. How long have you guys been together? About two years. About your league? Yeah, but that's the goals, man. You find somebody out of your league.

Yeah, yeah. And you trick her. And then what did she say? What did she say? Yeah, you do trick him. Yeah, and you hold on to that. She just caught on. I tripped the fuck out of her.

He trick-nutted me. He actually got me pregnant. Oh, yeah. Are you pregnant right now? No. Oh. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We went to the hospital.

We went to the hospital. You know what I mean? You think I was trying to trap him? You were trying to trap me? Yeah, yeah. Tell me. Yeah. You trick-mutted me for sure.

And so I should go to prison for rape? No, I mean, we're still together. Well, there we go. Well, there we go. Counseling. There we go. Therapy. Yeah, but so that's what...

Anyway. I did not do that with her. You didn't do that with your girl? No, okay, we had. Let's get back to that. But what did she say? What did she say? What did she say?

What did she love? She loved... Okay, well, we were together two years. Yeah. She's an actress. I'm an actor. Basically, it's just, it was a... The basic conversation was she's 29.

It feels like she needs a purpose and she needs to focus on her more. And I'm gone a lot. I work a lot. I like working. Even when I'm home, I'm working on something in my office all the time. So I'm a little addicted to working. So that was also a thing. So I took Sundays, Mondays off, started sacrificing things.

Not sacrifice, wrong word. Compromising. Sacrifice makes it seem like it's such a chore. That's a rape, you know? Sacrificing. Same thing. I'm going to text out to this, you raped me. What?

They said it. Yeah, but it was just one of those things where like, you know, we were kind of going this way. And then... So who knows? Maybe in the future, we do get back together. But maybe it wasn't right. Like, if she came back now, I would say no.

How do you deal with... Oh, you hear that, Angie? You don't. She'll never watch this. I'm just not going to listen to this, but Angie, you fucked up. No, she didn't. She's great. No, I'll tell you why she fucked up.

Why? And I'm going to get angry right now, babe. Gustavo, grab the camera. Don't get old. I'll tell you how. It's another great choice as an actor. I'll tell you how you fucked up. I fucked up.

She fucked up. You're a nice guy. Everyone says it. I've never heard anyone at any club say anything negative about you. Okay. Why are you smirking? It's good to know. Because it's uncomfortable to be complimented.

Look at me right now. Okay. And also, you're really gifted. You really are. You're very fucking funny, right? And you guys can create together. And you guys can, like, feed off each other. Sure.

Right? But she bailed. Right? And since she bailed... Let me tell you this, Chachi. Since she bailed. Your neck. Right?

She's fucking out with me. What? Yeah. What? What does it mean? What is this? Out with me, man. Oh, you mean, like, out in your head?

In my head. I thought you meant virtual going out. Let's say you're Angie. And you see me at a fucking... Let's say I met Curves. What's a workout place? Curves. I don't know what they're called.

Curves. Okay, go ahead. What's it called? Is it Curves? Sure. Give me Equinox. Equinox, yeah. Equinox.

Equinox. Curves. You see me at Equinox. Is Curve not a fucking place? I don't like chubby women. I'm a Curve. Yeah, that's... I'm a Curve.

It's just all the big bum, Angie. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Say hi to me. Hello. Oh, she's Asian. She's pretty spot on, actually. Is that Ally Wong or Angie? No, there's a career.

Yeah, no. Do it for real. Just say something real. Oh. Hey, you're one of Brent's friends. Bobby. We've talked before. What the fuck are you talking about?

No, I've seen you on Love. No, no. We've met at the store. What the fuck are you talking about right now? I'm sorry. You left Brent, right? I'm sorry. Angie, Angie, look at me.

You left Brent. Congratulations on your part. We're done. Hostile. And is that suffice? Three times I said it. Suffice? Nice.

Three fucking times. That's good. We still love each other. We're going to get married in the future. We're very cordial with each other. It's not a bad breakup at all. I'm totally kidding. I'm going to say hi to her.

You can have two well-intentioned people part ways, sweetie. It's not... It's very interesting. I don't want to see her right now. You don't want to run into her now. You don't want to run into her right now. I was even... Yeah, I was a little...

I didn't... Do you fall apart during breakups or are you really good at coping? Well, I think dealing with depression often in life, you've got to find ways you just learn how to be better at dealing with it. And so, when that happened, that was so a depressing moment that it was funny a little bit because I went, well, this sucks. And I have rules with depression. Never drink out of depression.

Never do shit like that because it's just going to lead you down a bad road. So what I did is I spent like a day and a half in bed and then immediately went to the gym every day and ate right and just kept a clear head with it. And then just worked. Did the thing that probably ended our relationship. It worked. I was like, okay, we've got to keep doing shit. What are we doing?

You're good. I like to allow myself to spiral all the way down. You think I used to do that? Yeah. And I almost like, somebody said once, do you enjoy being like a, what was it, a tortured artist? You enjoy that, don't you? You want that?

Like Bill Lawrence, my old boss, and we're working on a show now. We sold the showtime. And he was like, you like it, huh? What are you doing now during the break? Are you just sitting in the corner of some dark bar? Just acting like, you know, just like this shy little buff actor just in the corner. He's a nice guy, Bill Lawrence. Bill Lawrence is great.

He really is. He's helped a lot of comments. He gave me a career. Yeah, I know. I was just giving me a compliment. I know. I yelled at you. I'm sorry.

For what reason? His coffee's kicking in. I'll get the jittery shit. He's out of control. I'm going to run home. So, you know, so he got canceled on dateable and now you're working on another thing with Bill. Yeah.

And you're doing the road. Do you like the road? You know what I do? I don't. And I do. I'd rather be working actor. I'd rather be doing that stuff. Congrats again, Bobby ABC.

Uh-oh. Money time. Like, I'd rather be in town doing things because I don't like, I don't want to leave as much, but then there is a time when you're leaving where it's nice and especially right after the break up, two weeks later, I had to do Tempe and I was like, even though it's an hour away, I was like, this is so, so happy. I'm not there. Right.

I'm just here. I'm going to say something about, here's the thing though, dude, this is that there is a feeling. I love the fact that I booked a show. Yeah. I really do. I love every single person I'm working with. Great.

I'm from top to bottom. I'm not even lying. I don't know what it says because I have a fucking loose mouth. Sure. I really enjoy. And when I see the trailer of my pilot, it's cute. Yeah. Okay.

It's not necessarily what's going to, how do I say it, not a catapult, even, it's like my muscles as a performer are actually going to be seen, I don't think, you know, because I'm a little wild. I like to go a little broad. And you're on network love now. Yeah. And this is network. Yeah.

This is network. It's a different thing. It's a different animal. Yeah. But it's, you know, it's good about it. I love it. I'm grateful. Thank you.

Because you, because like, speaking of shows I really like, love, I love that show love. I started watching it. My ex would watch a lot of TV, like those stuff while I'm on the road. And season two of love was a very bad show for her to watch while I'm on the road because it's about distance. Oh my God. It's exactly what it's about. And, you know, she's very rational, so we would have, I go, did you just watch love?

She was like, yeah, you're right. I gotta not think like where the characters and that's freaking show. Yeah. You were great in that. And now you're probably going to be able to do season three pop up in that already started shooting couple seasons. Yeah. And then guess what you get to do?

You get to do the network stuff. You get to hit middle America. I'm grateful for all of it. It's going to be awesome. I'm just saying, maybe I, you know what? I opened my big mouth. I'm just fine. It is.

It is hard though. I feel it's for a network show very hard, but why do you, why don't you listen to me though? What? What do you mean? Stop for a second. I'm going to stand up again. Oh, Gustavo, the camera.

Stop him. Get my, get my ass. Stop him. Get my ass. It's very handsome. I fucking told you two fucking days ago to watch a documentary because we're going to fucking talk about it on the fucking podcast and you fucking know, let me, that was two days ago.

Fuck not. All right. And you did not fucking watch it. Okay. Can I, can I count on something here? You don't have to count on it because what you said earlier, when you first came in the fucking house was, oh no, I look for it. It's on the front page of all the fucking shit.

It's not on mine, not on direct TV. I didn't have the thing. Oh. HBO Go or whatever on the fucking iPad. I do have HBO Go. I'm going to counter this with something. I'm going to deflect the blame here and I'm going to call back an episode of this show that I watched where you, I think it was Eric Stone Street and you admitted to not watching

something. Mm-hmm. Oh. It was Amores Perros. And you, you went, you, you Googled it. That's cute. And Wikipedia. That's cute.

And this is what we call deflecting blame. That's cute. That's cute. What you're doing. It's so cute. I thought about doing that. I thought about pulling a bobby. It's white crafty.

It's what it is. White crafty. It's white crafty. It's white craft. Yeah. White craft. It's definitely white craft. For sure.

And it's shadow play. Shadow play. Yeah. Brand Moran is working in shadow play and also being white craft. And what it is, is this, you're twisting it and you're turning it and you're right. But can I say this, my friend? Mike House of Cards. That's a very good fucking point.

Thank you. But can I just say this, my friend? Yes. I'm the fucking captain of the ship. I can tell. Okay. And right now, when you're in my fucking submarine, it's a submarine. Oh, it's a submarine now.

Yeah, yeah. They're on a ship. Very colorful. Dual purpose. It's a dual purpose. Yeah. It comes up and down. Yeah.

And right now it's. Silly submarine. It's dust boot. You know, I've heard of seen dust boot. Dust yes. Dust boot. It's a sinking fucking submarine right now because you, you, you undermine my captain C.

Captain C. Authority. You know what, that might be a word, but I don't know if it is. My captain C. Captain C. Okay. Probably is. But we're going to talk about the documentary anyway and we're going to tell you what

it's about. Why is he taking notes? He always does. Yeah. What a professional. Yeah. Okay. Can I just say this?

Let me ask you this. Do you think. Look up captain C. Yeah. For Bobby. Sorry. Cut out rape conversation. It's exactly what it is.

It's actually. Home buying. I didn't talk about anything. We're keeping it in. I'm not editing this fucking thing. I like that. Stay strong, Bobby. Let me ask you something that is just a side note because you referred to George.

George's heterosexual. We're friends. We've been friends for a while. And he sent me a dick pic and he didn't send anybody else a dick pic. Okay. Is that weird? Not if it's sent to you. Whoa.

What does that mean? It's just you very open dick wise. So it feels like if you're going to send a dick to somebody very open dick wise. I'd be like I'll send one to Bobby. That's a good. That's fun. Can you please explain. Open dick wise please.

You're just an open book, you know. Right. But your book happens open. There's a penis in there. You know. As the bookmark. I saw your penis probably the first or second time we ever hung out. Yes.

You saw your penis. Third time. You made me kiss you at a restaurant at Walcano over there on Melrose. Yeah. And it was a big group of comics. It's on Third Street. Third Street. Yeah.

Me, you, Eric Griffin, Joe Coy. Yeah. Vinny O'Shaughna, Crystalia. Yeah. I forgot who else. Somebody else was there. That was fun. And you were like kiss me.

And it was really weird. On the lips? Yeah. And I was like no. And we're in the middle of the restaurant. It's small. And they all knew you. Yeah.

And it's getting loud. Yeah. And then Vinny O'Shaughna gets involved. And he goes kiss him man. Everybody kisses you know. And I'm a teenager. I'm in college. And I'm getting peer pressure.

He was young. He was young. Yeah. But you Chris and Vinny to prove a point. Yeah. Because Chris jumped in too. And I was like oh why don't you kiss him then. And then I could see him in Chris's face.

He's like well. And then Vinny goes we're all kissing him. Get up. Let's be in a pussy. He's being a pussy. In the middle of the restaurant. You guys triple kissed. And then.

And then I kissed you on the lips. Yeah. That was my second time hanging out with Bob. Yeah. So yes. I think sending a dick pic to you. Yeah. Could just be like a fun little thing.

And that's now. What you just did. Was you cleared my mind. And now it's open. Yeah. And my third eye witnessed what you said. And I forgive you. I forgive you.

Because he just did it. All right. That's a great name. George. It is a pretty good name. It's a good name to you. George. Down here.

Not if you've seen his dick. It's pink. Oh yeah. That's gross. I could see that. I could see that. Yeah. But anyway.

So this documentary I told you to watch. Before we say anything. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. Everybody if you haven't seen it. And you don't. You know. You don't want it to be ruined.

No. No. Also the other reason I got a little hesitant to watch it. Why? Because it was a big time for me at the comedy store. As a film student and somebody who loves movies. I always take recommendations and I watch. And what did I fucking recommend?

There was one that you recommended that had probably the most traumatic rape scene I've ever seen. Just back on that conversation. Ever in a movie. You're a moniker. Baloochy. Yes. Irreversible.

Irreversible. Yes. And it affected me so much. It's a 10 minute rape scene. Yeah. I'm necessary. But oh my God. I go home you watch Irreversible.

And I did. And then I was just like. For a little bit. Well this documentary is on par with that. See because that scared me. I was like what am I getting into. It's not even nearly on par. It's not a rape.

Because my lady left me. I'm home alone now. I did masturbate to the documentary. It's a joke. It's a joke. Trying to get moved to a better house. You know. I did not masturbate to that movie.

It was just a joke. All right. Press conference. Yeah. I did not masturbate to that movie. It was just a joke. All right. Press conference.

Yeah. I did not masturbate to that movie. Great performances though. Oh. What a liberating feeling. Yeah. My show's canceled. I can see anything.

So do we do have to do a fucking. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. Yeah. Because. Okay. I'm just going to tell you what it's about vaguely. And then we're not going to get into detail.

What do you think of that. No. We can talk about it. We can just. The documentary is called. Mommy dead. My dearest. Mommy dead and dearest.

And dearest. Yeah. So. Kalyla and I are really big fans of a show called. Sword and Scale. And it's on. It's not. It's a podcast.

He does that weird burp. Yeah. I have a thing of my thing. Thank you. Yeah. And he came to saw us last Friday. What's. Oh, that's right.

On Saturday. When I saw you. Yeah. Yeah. The guy from this. Our favorite podcast is a crime podcast. Oh yeah. She mentioned that.

Yeah. Sword and Scale. It's like the third. The third place was on this podcast. Sword and Scale. Yeah. So it was really. So we knew about it already.

Right. But so basically it is what it is. Is. This girl. What's her name again. Gypsy. Gypsy. Young girl.

Was born. She was born. We're all born. I don't know if you know that. Right. We're not manifested. Right. She was born to a mother.

Who. Since. Pretty much day. Day one. Made up. Illnesses. For this kid. It's called Munchausen.

Biproxy. Biproxy. And. You just. Said this kid has cancer. She has all these diseases. Muscular dystrophy. Muscular.

So that she can get a free ride on things like we get free trips. Oh wow. We get money. Free house. Free house. You got a free house out of that. Right. Because they said well they were from New Orleans.

And when Hurricane Katrina hit. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. On top of needing a home. She was also disabled. And the child was in a wheelchair. She did it for.

20 plus years. Right. So. So. People thought. That this girl. Was 12. And she was really 21.

And her mom would shave her head. And she. She had. She'd always had to be in a wheelchair. Now does the kid know at this point. She didn't even know her own age. I don't think. She didn't know her own age.

At that point. And. She. Would play along. Obviously. She would have to take the pills. Well she didn't even have the illness. Seizure medications.

You know how hardcore that is on your liver. Answer medications. And. I mean. This girl was just subjected to just about. Everything. They even put a feeding tube in her stomach. Yeah.

For no reason. For no reason. I don't know how. Doctors. Like I don't know how. The doctors aren't in jail for. She was so manipulative though. The doctors would like.

The mother would. Would believe her because she had it down to a science. That's no. That's bullshit. I wouldn't. I wouldn't defend that. Whoever did it in Waukesha. Where are they from.

Yeah. If I'm a doctor. I'm like wait. You're telling me your child needs a feeding tube for what. And if it's not indicated. You should be smart enough as a doctor. You went to med school. To not fucking put a hole through a child's belly.

Yeah. I wish my brother was here. He's a doctor. He could explain this. God. They're. Crazy. Anyway.

This girl. She's probably 21 now. At this point. Yeah. At this point. Her mom was asleep. She meets. Some guy online.

Christian dating. Christian dating site. Because. They start a relationship for about a year. Yeah. And then. To make a long story. So she basically goes.

I want to be with you. Can you kill my mom. And so. Right. They meet up. No. She has a plan. So he.

She goes. She goes. Here's my address. He lives in Wisconsin. He goes down. I left the fucking bathroom door. The window open. He sneaks into the bathroom window.

Kills. The mother. They pack their shit up. Stabs it. Repeatedly. And then they. Head back up to Wisconsin. But this girl was.

Subjected to. Smell a romcom. From the mind of. More. Can I play gypsy. I play the girl. Yeah. I'll have it down.

And. So that's. Pretty much what the. Documentary is. Christian mingle. Yeah. It was Christian mingle. And she.

But she. Only got 10 years. Yeah. And she. But she. Only got 10 years. Yeah. And she.

But she. Only got 10 years. Well. She killed her abuser. Which is. Yeah. That's a little. It's a.

Must have been tough. From the old. Judge. I have a question for you. Well you didn't watch it. But based on what. We've told you so far. Yeah.

Yeah. Do you think that she's a safe. Person to release back into society. After 10 years. Of. Being institutionalized. Or being in a. She didn't do the stabbing.

But she has witnessed her mom. Manipulate the system. Yeah. She has witnessed. All forms of manipulation. So she's. She has an altered sense of reality. At this point.

Yeah. I don't think that. She's somebody. That just goes out in the life. And then. You know. She's a waitress at Ruby Tuesdays. Or something.

Just like. Hey everyone. What's that scar. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy story. When I was 12. Yeah.

It's a tough. Maybe. You know. Downgrader to like a. Place that. That's what she was saying. Yeah. Because she's been subjected to so much abuse at this point.

When you hear her speak. Yeah. She sounds clear. And you know. She sounds like. Because her mom was also saying throughout her life that she was. Mentally retarded. Yeah.

She's been told she was mentally retarded. Yeah. So she's. Can't walk. She can't walk. But she's always has to be in this wheelchair. She's been still. No.

Not now. Okay. But she. But then now in the in the documentary you can see interviews and she's very clear. A somewhat bright girl. Yeah. Wherever she knows. She knows what's going on.

And she's explained to them what happened. But she this girl. My girlfriend was basically saying. That she would never be able to trust her ever. Of course not. I mean I'm not. I'm not opposed to her. If you were.

Our wag walker. No. I would not let her walk my fucking dog. Yeah. But she didn't kill anybody. Yeah. But she. Planned.

She's still complicit in the crime. So when she going to start doing open. Mike. She has a good face. Every stand up has. Now I gotta show you the picture. She does have a good look for comedy. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm single. Yeah. Yeah. I mean you. Perfect timing. I mean you. Bobby.

When you were in the Uber coming here. Yeah. The driver was an open mic. Right. Yeah. Yeah. He dropped me off on the wrong street. Right.

And what do you say he goes. Oh he said. Well I never say that I what I do. You know. Cause then it's. I have to talk about it. There's nothing you can say. Yeah.

But sometimes people notice. But I walked. I got in and I saw the little notebook in between the seat. And it's so cute. And I thought this guy's probably a comic or draws pictures and shit. Yeah. So you started a conversation.

Well we talked about something else. And then he goes. You're a comedian right. You have a special on Netflix. I was like. Yeah. And he goes. What is it.

Brent. What's your last name. I said. More. And in my head I was thinking. Yeah. He did too. Yeah.

He did. Probably. He was just trying to act. But then we got talking about specials obviously. And comedy. And like. You know. I try to do that thing where I'm like.

I like meeting new comics. Cause I remember asking people that I liked. And you know. Bobby was one of them I really liked. And he actually gave me advice. And if I didn't. Get advice from somebody I really liked. It hurt.

You know. And then he dropped me off in the wrong fucking street. And then I got out. And I was like. And then I was like. Fucking. Yeah. Oh you were probably on Gower.

Yeah. He was on Gower. Here. That's. Oh. She's already like 21 at that point. Yeah. That's the mom and the child.

Oh my God. This mother. I know. I know. Jesus Christ. 21 here. Huh. Yeah.

Well. Why are you laughing? Why are you laughing? Why are you laughing sir? I mean. Yeah. Yeah. I'm sorry.

The daughter looks like something out of a Dr. Seuss book. Yeah. I know. I know. I mean she looks a little. She does. She's like somebody in a Harry Potter movie where they have to go back to school.

Yeah. They have to get like a certain book. Yeah. And she's working in it. I'm like. What you need is this. And it's just a little. What photo.

What photo did you show her? Which one? That one. But you didn't see her. She was into BDSM with her boyfriend. Oh yeah. The murderer. How old is it?

First off. Yeah. Are we sure that's not a woman? This is the same person. That is a woman. Oh they're the same person. Mm. Oh God.

Look at them. Pain in those eyes. I know. Those bags for days. I know. Let me ask you this though. Good hairline. If she gets.

What. Would you. Would you fuck her for the story? Her for the story? The story. Yeah. I would be terrified. I was scared to watch the damn documentary.

Have I slept with her? What am I going to do? Just pet her. Buzz cut. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Would you, Gilbert?

No. Would you fuck her for the story? Not for the story. I would just lie. I mean to her you would be the least memorable fuck for one reason. Why? Me or Brent? Everybody.

And you're including me. Not me. I'll make a memorable. Wait what? Yeah. I'll do some shit. Right after she listened to her boyfriend who was into BDSM. Yeah.

Basically fucking slaughter her mom and then they had sex afterwards. Oh yeah. So unless you can compete with a post-murder sex. Give me a fucking box of ping pongs. All right. What else? Not for her. For me.

Yeah. Yeah. I jam up on my butthole. Okay. I would do crazy shit. Circus stuff. Yeah. I would do circus shit.

Oh. Exhibitionist. Yeah. I would probably my face would look like Shrek. I would wear the Shrek green. You know what I mean? I like that. Yeah.

I would just have like some sort of angel wings on. And then the fucking ping pong balls in my butthole. Right. And then I would go. I did some Indian stuff. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. I would just. Hey. You know what I mean? It's like shooting ping-pong balls in her face like that. Oh my god. What do you think?

On Fox, Bobby and Brett comes in next biggest fit. Yeah. Just picture this. Oh yeah. It's Peter Roth here. ABC on the phone. I'm watching Bobby Lee's party. I'm kidding.

I'm grateful. Thank you. What did I do wrong? Bobby ping pongs up my ass. Oh no. Oh no. Hey. That wasn't a good improv.

Brentmoren replaces Bobby Lee. Oh, man. Imagine that. Oh, my God. That would be horrible. But would you be happy-ish? Happy-ish? No, that stuff always... No, look at me right now. Weird. Would I turn it down?

Would you turn it down? I don't know, Bob. Maybe I wouldn't. Whoa! Or maybe I wouldn't. I don't know, man. I'm kind of happy with my showtime thing right now, so I'm betting on myself this year.

It's going to be great, and I believe what you just said. I need to do something edgy. If Undateable asked me to replace you, I would say no. Really? Yeah, but you got, like, carte blanche at the time. I had nothing. And, you know, show's gone now.

I don't want to be Carlton. I gotta figure out the next move. Can I just say something to you? From Dancing With The Stars? Alfonso Ribeiro? Yeah, he hosted something. I don't know how I know that. I'll tell you, when you do a multi-cam sitcom for long enough,

you start watching other multi-cam sitcoms with an appreciation. He's unbelievable as Carlton. You watch the way he plays Carlton. Man, he really hit it. That was good. What's his story? Did he just drop out after Fresh Friends? He was too good. Sometimes he was too good. George Stanza, too good.

You know, you were telling me about that. Mary, you gotta be just whatever. Yeah, that's what I just said because I saw that documentary. What was it called? I forget. I saw a documentary about this play. A Broadway play that happened.

It was a Sondheim play. Jason Alexander as a kid was in it. Oh, really? Yeah. And he was like 15 or whatever. And so it's like a reunion documentary. It's really good. I forgot what it was called. I think it's the greatest thing that never happened. Yeah, the greatest thing that never happened.

Or something like that. No, I'm going to have to watch that. It's great. And it shows Jason Alexander now. And he's basically saying I'm just too associated with Seinfeld. And people don't... They're kind of tired of me.

It shows him at home and trying to figure out what he wants to do. And I just... Is that... My question is this. You know, you're in the biggest sitcom. Yeah. Pretty much ever, almost.

Right? You made... I'm sure he made about $200 to $300 million syndication-wise. Jesus. Is that enough? I mean... To you it is, right, George? I think for someone like him that maybe right away

it wasn't because you want to go and do different things, especially in a creative field. When you're doing something that seems like every day, that's one of the reasons that you do entertainment because you want to do something that doesn't feel the same every day. So probably right away, he's like... And he tried. He had that...

What was it? That public speaker, motivational speaker. He had another try. He was up to bat a couple of times. And it didn't work. And I think now he probably looks back and goes, no, that was amazing. That was great. Because now he talks about it, he comes back for curb. You know?

I mean, you just... I mean, he's like, he's playing floaty toys in his giant pool and just being like, what a life. Yeah, but here, let me say something to you. He can do plays. If they had given me a million dollars on episode from MTV. Okay?

And then I didn't work from MTV till now. Yeah. I don't think I'd be okay with that. Sure. I think I would be really depressed. I think I would end up like just walking the streets. You know what I mean? If people are going to do a few parries,

digging through garbage cans. I mean, I don't know. You have millions of dollars. Why do you go through garbage cans? Because money is one thing. But you always... Here's the thing. You always want to feel relevant.

Sure. You always want to be a part of the next cool thing. But George could stand that he will live forever. He's still relevant today. I understand that. get a photo with you or hey your George Constanza is only lasts for so long yeah right it gets to a point where you want they want people to go dude you're killing it on that new thing yeah yeah yeah right and then I'm gonna oh I didn't

know you could do that yes yeah I'm creative the creative motivation I totally get you know I mean the relevancy I don't know that just if you try to aim for that it's hard to stay you know but if you are doing something you really like and you're trying to make some shit yeah I mean we live in a world now where we're not gonna have another Seinfeld because there's not there's too many outlets you know so many outlets a fun a fun dateable was on in the 90s I have millions of dollars probably yeah but it doesn't work yeah it doesn't that is true it's like how do you make it well the thing is you have

options you have love then you can go do network you do this you know all these things so creatively you are relevant but it's like it's funny because in the 70s good very good that was a very good point too because in the 80s 70s in the 80s you could do the tonight show yeah and you could become a household name it's crazy I did the tonight show no one called me yeah I'm not even lying no one has ever said in the history of my career you killed it on the tonight show wow and it's like did the tonight show that's exactly what I'm saying well changed Carson days yeah I didn't let us know I did Leno yeah but it didn't do

anything for me I remember the next day my brother were playing FIFA and I was looking at my phone to see if anyone called yeah and no one called no one called yeah it was really um but then you end up on something like stranger things or 13 reasons why and you're jump up 8 million followers and you're on every time I mean yeah I know there are still juggernauts you just hard to figure out what it's going to be on stranger I almost what yeah really it was between him and that teacher teacher really I read twice and I didn't get it oh man and I killed it and then they called him back again for the second season for a

different part and he almost got it again no I didn't almost get it that no they know they ended it what do you mean they ended it I read no I read and there was no nothing there was no you know how you can tell you read for someone they put a pin in you that's a terminology they use I don't even know what that means still it just means like we you're in our radar yeah we're gonna see a couple of more people but we have your we'll get back to you there's somebody above us and if they don't like your face yeah your career is essentially what it is and there was no pin yeah but you know I tried but they

know you and they like you that's what I always try to tell people it's nice when these people like you and like what you do because then maybe there is something if he liked me that hire me well Jordan Peele is gonna make a movie for you anyway I heard that podcast you don't think I was listening to that yeah that's what remains to be seen yeah but he's here's a guy yeah who put it in his own hands that's what we're trying man you're gonna do it I'm hoping I don't know anymore it's very hard to explain but I could tell you vaguely it's like Narcos meets Felicity it's a very violent very funny love story in a

way wow it was a hard it was a really stupid thing to pitch and because I'm when I was done pitching it I thought at a week where I didn't hear anything and I went the hell is why would I go in and pitch a fucking action comedy like that yeah when it's me when nobody knows who the fuck I am I'm not Martin Lawrence I was with Bill and we attached I took it like I had a deal I have a deal with Warner Brothers a script a script deal with them I had when I was doing on datable as a writer-producer and I attached Bill to it because me alone in the room isn't gonna sell something yeah took a pay cut I don't care I need

something so right Zach Braff to direct the pilot so we had a team of people going together and really like try to explain to them it's okay because everybody else said no because they were like we don't really know Brent we don't want them to star in it because I had the thing was I had to start and then some reason showtime said all right so we'll see what he just see we're him or her and I we came up with a show yeah we want to do a show great right so I took a couple of meetings and lightly pitched it but we need that's why he came in with Bill Lawrence we need one of those because I didn't even go

to the pitch I gave it all to him yeah I was like I'm not gonna be in that room you have you'd be fun in the room you articulate yourself right playing yourself and they see some level of charm and then you just make sure you have somebody next to you that they can bank on cuz they know that guy anyone listening right now that is in the fucking business and as a showrunner any showrunners all us and we've got a good idea what about your showrunner your showrunner yeah I mean I do I've done shows with people but you know I when I did animal practice I went in with those I went and pitched to those guys a

couple times they were so busy yeah that I just couldn't feel like they wanted to I can tell pretty much and I'm really sensitive I hate no yeah I do and I just when I I really fully stand by what we created and wrote yeah and I will not take no for an answer so if that pitched didn't go well I'm not going to oh you shut down on a no yeah well I'm not I really don't know I really don't believe in what we have I I I I like the plate sports growing up I'm very competitive I like the underdog chip on the shoulder it makes me feel better when people don't know me a good mentality he heard and known he was like we got to change it

all up and turn it into a completely different premise like what the fuck yeah it's like it was easier for me to go and test for undatable when I was a PA nobody wanted yeah that was easier for me because I was excited about that I was nervous now when I go in because there's an expectation yeah he was a PA for Conan yeah Conan oh Brian oh Brian and Conan Brian you were PA for how long for that show three years of Conan in the whole run of the Tonight Show of Conan wow wow how long is that it was like almost four years and I was doing stand-up every night and so when when you booked undatable did Conan say

anything oh yeah you did Conan right I did Conan yeah I did Conan after I used to fill his car with gas and then like six months later I have a parking spot on the same lot on the stage next to him and I used to go like mr. O'Brien I always called a mr. O'Brien he would call me murderer and then he would like fuck with my car like I remember PA on season 1 came to me and he goes um Conan O'Brien is fucking with your car I remember going goddamn you O'Brien I ran outside I never explained it yeah no Conan was nice because I went to the up fronts we found out we are picked up I go the up fronts and I get to my

hotel room and his assistant who's a good friend of mine who's amazing was like Conan one would like to have drinks with you tonight you know to come meet everybody for drinks you know because they were like a second family to me like everybody at Conan was great and I get to my hotel room and there's a bottle of Don Perry on with a letter from Conan about congratulations full circle all that and I was like it was one of those moments where it's like whoa like the daydreaming under the the like this stands when people because I used to friends would be doing the show and I would be standing off to the side with

the cameraman going fuck I want that and then camera guys are all New Yorkers fucking with me call me Hollywood they're like when you gonna be out here yeah I said mark my words I will be on this show this year and I said that because I was just fed up mad and I got in the car and I went home and I went that was really stupid what I fucking do that and then about five months later I'm on the show and I'm looking at one of the guys I've worked on the stage guys Paul and I go hey Paul he goes what I go told you and then they open the curtain and I came out for my oh that was the little competitive thing because

that made me not nervous because then he laughed and he goes don't eat shit you know and I was yeah made me calm yeah yeah let me sit on the couch he goes let him do his clothes are on the couch cuz it will kill and I was like oh so you did stand up I did stand up my first time and then he brought me over to do my clothes are on the couch oh my god and then after that I was a guest like I've been a guest a couple times that's amazing full circle that is what it could when does that ever happen yeah that was crazy that you're on a show at a PA or whoever yeah you know me who's who you know you hear a lot of people talk there's

a lot of Conan yeah a lot of interns Midi Kaling John Krasinski John Amy Polar Jack McBrayer Tina Fey had done some sketches on there in the New York office but like you there's really like a laundry list of famous people that were interns at Conan I was like the only PA I think that maybe is he just have like I don't know I think it's like out for PA there was an intern that was my like intern when I was stage PA tonight show and he ended up starring in Project X and he was just like an ASU student and I get a text from Rachel Rush she just went to CIA this is what I'm just trying to get in at the comedy store yeah

she goes Oliver just says how much he loved you and like love working with you I'm like Oliver what are you talking about he just signed him he's doing the Todd Phillips movie and I'm like fuck yeah I was like he just blew by me yeah yeah even he is another credible and he did it shows you what a good dude that a guy is Conan yeah Conan's best because a lot of guys could because Emily says something I mean you talked to anybody yeah that did Roseanne so Roseanne's writing staff at toward the end was like guys like Dave Tyree Alan Stevens all those old comedy shark eyes right and it to me the vibe was always anti what you

just said really like don't lock eyes with me really hostile hostile whoa that dude she was very hostile I mean I know she's on the ABC line up with Bobby I mean she's my co-star she's great he just said under his breath he thought about it I just thought about it that was bet she changed see transformation and also I'm here so what here's another thing though okay this is that all I'm saying right is is that that's what I heard from a couple of dudes that used to work in that situation yeah yeah right I'm not saying there's a lot of reality or that's the truth things like that it's just the vibe that I got there

was a time where we're Conan you they would use interns to stand in for certain sketches and so Conan is doing this is like my third year there he's doing something with like the interns where he's going up and talking to him treating him like audience members for later and none of them are looking at him and he finally goes why does nobody look at me in the eyes and it's because they were all told like since the New York days don't look Mr. O'Brien in the eyes don't engage him don't do this and he called what whoever started that yeah was not Conan and he called it out and he goes okay everybody here you can look

at me ridiculous yeah when did that start I knew that was happening cuz people are just running in the walls see that's a thing old days is is that there's another guy person I'm not even named the person yeah all right that does the same exact thing right yeah I know exactly who this yeah yeah it would destroy your career but of course I know another person that does the same thing right the no don't look at me in the eyes and that's not just there's a lot of people like that no I'm not saying all right what I'm saying is that Conan isn't yeah he's not you know he's like hi good morning what's up dude how

are you yeah sure Gustavi did I look at you in the eyes today yeah there we go yeah well you're good people you also said you wouldn't welcome yeah I think that this generation honestly I'm a little ahead of you in the in terms of generations generations the worst I just wanted to take a strong stance I think though that you can no longer react like that you know too much stuff too many phones too many yeah yeah yeah you everything's caught this yeah you don't think that anyone can be like an old-school diva anymore I think that like back in the day probably I love old-school divas man like you like

someone like I don't want to name anybody he died what about Steve Harvey didn't you just come out with an email what was the email oh yeah his demands basically was right or season nobody allowed in the office nobody you know yeah even if we're friends don't try to walk and talk with me like he was wow sitting they try to get him like fired the one time I saw Steve Harvey at the comedy store yeah he was walking on the back hallway I swear to fucking God he goes you'll mail fuck this place and he spit on the fucking what because he auditioned for Mitzi so many times apparently oh wow and she never passed

them well that was warranted then yeah no I think that what Mitzi did was what she did no I'm just saying to have that type of like no because let me say I think right now Louis C.K. mm-hmm also auditioned for Mitzi and she admitted in this is after his first HBO special goes lie to me doesn't have it out loud yeah all right and he still comes back because he's smart Louis C.K. goes she's a fucking senile older lady and she doesn't she's out of touch yeah and then he did a special there yeah I never got to meet her or know her I wasn't past my end it was there is something about having conversations with her that's

magical yeah but she could I don't want Paulie to listen but she could say things that are so fucking crazy yeah that it would fuck up your world I think really yeah like I remember A.J. Jamal telling me I don't know if I say have I said this before I don't know A.J. Jamal you know A.J. Jamal no he was on he was on the last couple of seasons of living color very funny African American comedian he said to me when I first came to LA he's like yo yo don't even I've been a paid regular here for like 10 years I when she walks on the hallway I go the other way wow I go why because she could say something that can

completely alter yeah because she used to like change people's names yeah and tell people what to wear I mean have we talked about we've talked about yeah Jackie Graham well Jackie Graham was a comic and she goes you're funny and he's like thanks your new name is Jackie banana and he goes okay you have to wear a yellow suit from now on so he would go up on stage in a yellow man and his name was Jackie banana for 15 years maybe she was just testing them no there's another I'll give you I have another one it's good branding Jackson Purdue yes you're fine Jackson banana yellow suit yeah they fall for it every time you have to

wear a purple a purple turtleneck so for like three summers he wore a purple turtleneck where do you even find a purple turtleneck I don't know he went on it Carlos Mencia wasn't his name Carlos didn't change it said Ned it's Ned he went up as Ned and Mitzi gave him the name Carlos Mencia she's the one that changed me yes John Caparillo yeah for four years his name was John Campy wow so I didn't really want to get in a conversation because I don't want to be called Bobby Toyota which is what she would have done wish he make you wear your new what would she make you wear you have to dress like a transformer yeah

yeah I have Steve Harvey's email you want to yeah yeah read it okay good morning everyone welcome back there will be no meetings in my dressing room no stopping by or popping in no one do not come to my dressing room unless invited do not open my dressing room door in all caps if you open my door expect to be removed my security team will stop everyone from standing at my door who have the intent to see or speak to me I want all the ambushing to stop now you must schedule an appointment do not approach me while I'm in that makeup chair unless I asked to speak with you directly either knock or use the

doorbell do not wait in any hallway to speak to me I hate being ambushed please make an appointment I promise you I will not entertain you in the hallway and do not attempt to walk with me if you're reading this I mean you everyone do not take offense to this new way of doing business it's for the good of my personal life and enjoyment thank you all Steve Harvey here's every right I mean it's it's they try to get a petition I think like 25,000 people sign like trying to get them fired whoa why I don't I agree but that's the age we live in now where people can get online and make it a social thing you know nope it's

his right sure it's his show it's his show he can do what he wants I said you really want the pressure of having that you know entertain the boss I'd rather keep distance you know I don't need to bury myself in my job because I said something stupid to Steve and it's it's not only that it's that like I don't we don't know what's going on in his personal life you know if he's suffering from like anxiety or some type of something could have happened where someone was really intrusive mm-hmm that was like he was jerking off and some fucking PA walked in that could happen yeah that could happen right yeah that

could have been me because he did say that he used to have a Mr. O'Brien he used to have a lenient policy but that's probably you know they're gonna set the boundaries I guess yeah I don't think that that's bad honestly what would your email what would be your demands well I mean I mean here's the one thing that I when I was on animal practice fuck it what would you say I would animal practice and you know I could see the first day because when you're on a show like that you have to kind of hire the same extras every week because they're in the background and they're kind of regular so the regular extras and a

couple of them were open micers that I would did open mic with you know me back in the comedy store back in the 90s oh right yeah so I'm like talking to the director about a scene and I can see two of them in my peripheral approaching Bobby and they hug you and then every day they kind of talk to you yeah as if you know they're on the show too yeah which they are mm-hmm but there you're an extra and let me see something it's fine being an extra that is but we're not in this environment right sure no be real well I I wouldn't do that why did him not to I didn't know I hugged them every day for fucking three months of

that thing right I saw them in the hallway I would talk to them hug them yeah this is internal what I'm thinking yeah why do I have to do this I don't I don't I don't like like very funny because I I wouldn't have I would try not to ever have my phone on set I liked I like to be very prepared if I had which is crazy to think at a multi-cam but if I had a scene like my episode my dad shows them we don't have a good relationship season one and everybody else is on their phone they're all comics those are the only times I would ever get a little snappy and just like don't I'm trying to figure this out yes

I'd rewrite like 40 pages right yeah three hours before we'd shoot right so they try to memorize it and then I was so fucking hard on myself that I wouldn't want people around me if I felt like I did and there are you know so yeah I get that if somebody feels comfortable you know what I hate when they when they when you're about to shoot you have new lines yeah and you know what I hate when when sound is like you know you're trying to memorize these new lines yeah and they're like up your shirt and try to put the sticky thing on your chest yeah it's I hate it yeah it makes you a little I hate it

great choice what were you gonna say no I cut you off no no I mean just for common courtesy and a little bit of common sense I would never try I would always want someone to have their space yeah and especially if they're the performers and that's already a high-pressure situation I would never try to start conversation with anybody that's about to be on camera sure it's just like when if I would have to take an exam say for instance and I all that information is in my head I don't want any distractions I don't want my but that bubble of information to be burst open so don't fucking talk to me I don't like

people in the hallway hearing them study I remove myself yeah and I get that I if I if I had to perform I don't want you in my fucking space at all sure yeah it's sense yeah you guys to performers why would you want anything to distract you from what you're about to do yeah and if I start working again also the last thing I want to say to you dude is also because I think in your special you talked about like good-looking guys and stuff yeah you're good-looking too mm-hmm thank you and you're not don't try to you're not in my category Bobby Bobby gets away from his charm no I know but I know that we are in a no I'm

not saying that I'm ugly but we're in two different categories so don't ever fucking claim though I'm just like Bobby I never did that I know when you talk about good-looking I talk about hot guys hot guy hot guy so when a hot guy says about their hot guy actors I go fuck that guy Gustavo's got a good chin that's a hot guy right he is because that was a great face great fucking Richard Ramirez except with a fuck eyes he has permanent fuck eyes yeah I know that's really good those are good like if you get in close we don't do it in time wise for over an hour I have that ability if you get me again fucker I

sort of fucking I'll rip your cheeks off fucking skull how's your family in Connecticut pretty good doing well my little brother's out here he's OBGYN at Cedars yeah I like your bro bro I like your brother bro he's great he's killing it out here too he's West Hollywood it's perfect at the end of our shows we do you want an Ed Sheeran story yes yeah yeah tell you funny live because we went live because now they're starting to do live sitcoms and I feel like my insecurities kick up and I want people to know that we did it you know because we did live East Coast and West Coast and on season two we tried it

first time bunch of idiots you know like I said I was a PA Rick Glassman was a waiter Ron Funches was in Portland you know like they're really nobody was really working and they go my boss goes we're gonna try it live and I'm friends with Ed Sheeran well have Ed do the show I think he basically told Ed it was a hit show because Ed came and did it you know whoa and immediate first of them fan Ed and I thought you know we're gonna be friends I can already sense it you know and he's got to do this opening scene with me I kick him out of my bar and then I didn't realize it's Ed Sheeran and everybody hates me and for the

rest of the episode many drivers on the show and all these other people have to smack me in the face like smack this guy for Ed and you know and then I got waxed at the end and Ed was there so at the end Ed's supposed to come back and like smack me and then he improvised in the rehearsal like hugging me cuz he's like sensitive but we're doing it east coast and west coast we do the east coast I get slapped by everyone at pratfall you know then I got waxed you know Chris got to whack like wax my chest on live television and so I'm in pain and I'm in my dressing room but I'm like the adrenaline of that I'm like

that was so good and everybody's walking around it feels like they're cigars and Gordy prop guys have the cigars out he goes it's after after the show we're doing at party here and it might be the last time we ever have undatable again yeah and so I'm in my dressing room and I decide you know what I'm having a shot and then I'm gonna go to hair and makeup we got another two hours so I take a shot of tequila with my boss smart and I'm good feel warm feel good I go to hair and makeup Lorna hair lady or makeup lady goes out she goes it's not like tequila brandy said don't you judge me right now you know

like joking around with them yeah I didn't know Ed Sheeran was in there it's like to like seize parted and Ed sees me and he goes are you drinking mate he goes Bill gave me the good stuff he's kind of my room and I'm like yeah dude see out the cheese and then he leaves and I'm everybody's hair makeups look at me and they're kind of smiling because they know I have no backbone with peer pressure and it's Ed Sheeran and I'm a fan everybody knows I said well what do you think I'm not gonna have shots with a goddamn rock star and they're like hey hey it's your job but I'm like okay okay I'll go I'll go and just knock on the

door and say hi and we'll see what happens so I go and knock on the door and Ed opens the door and it's like there's ever there's no lights on and he's got three guys who look like extras from snatch and yeah and then he's got like but one light and he has cut limes and he had put out two shot glasses for us and Don Julio 1942 so it was the good stuff and he goes gotta set up for us and I thought that's really sweet that's like you know that's he's a sweet sensitive guy he even like cut the limes for me and everything so I go yeah cheers to one more to go and he goes yes when we do the shot he looks at me and he goes is

that all you're gonna do I'm already five in you hear the snatch guys going so now I'm feeling emasculated by an acoustic artist already I'm scared you fucked up no no I did actually okay it's so then I end up having like probably three more and we're sharing stories so it's not good and I leave the room and I see Bill Lawrence boss and he goes what are you doing in Ed's room and I go well you had to get in the good stuff didn't you pill all right I got trapped let's just try to get through this show okay yeah now we already told like Ed you can improvise a little bit because our show we improvised a lot even though

it's live television live yeah it was really risky and stupid sometimes but so we do the first scene where I'm supposed to get him off you know and he's supposed to leave and he says supposed to be like two things he's not because he's taken a couple more and I'm fine like I feel like I feel a little warm feel like a nice buzz but I'm like I ate a lot and I was like you know what I'm good I'm not gonna be drunk he's starting to really improvise so there is a scene of you see it I go no no no no no stop stop stop okay stop just to try to get him to stop kick him out and he tries to make a joke so then I go

through the rest of the episode he's not in it so he's just boozing why wouldn't everything's working out in his life he's a rocker he knows how to do it at the end of the episode he's supposed to smack me again and this time he decides to kiss me after he smacks me yeah and he asked Rick Glassman he goes he thinking mind if I kissed him and Rick goes which I this is true I have kissed a lot of my guy friends on TV and like I said earlier just in life I've kissed a lot of guys I guess and in fact he's not even my first redhead I kissed Andrew Santino on at midnight yeah so Rick Glassman knows this and Rick goes are you kidding

that's his wheelhouse and Ed doesn't know what to make of that it's a weird wheelhouse I don't know so he comes out and he smacks me and then he just lays it on me and he smells good he kisses great and we go at it for a second and then he's saying sorry and in my ear and I go are you kidding me you helped me you know like this is career help yeah and then I immediately have to get waxed and Chris Delia like looks at me and said putting me in the chair whatever because we're over time and he goes congratulations man you're fucking famous now and he goes why couldn't he kiss me and you know and then he waxes me yeah

and then after that we have a little after-party on the stage we don't know if we're coming back for another season and he taps me on the shoulder and he's got a bottle down Julio 1942 another one he goes let's do this and I'm like we went around like Robin Hood and we're giving all the crew guys the good stuff because Bill had like four but we took them from Bill yeah talk to somebody so and I got so drunk and I'm with him we had like dance a little dance battle and there's a picture of me that was sent to me the next day him dragging me on the ground I don't even know how that was yeah and I woke up from a text message

and it just said Ed Sheeran the text I don't I got his number yeah yeah and in my phone were all these selfies of us like like did we fuck like very like intimate friendly and it's just one text at like 11 a.m. the next day and all it says is cunt that's all he wrote me then cut to my girl bring this full circle the one who left me and broke my heart if we're seeing each other we're like three weeks into seeing each other I'm driving by Hollywood Bowl I see Ed Sheeran's name on the Hollywood Bowl I go I didn't know he was here I thought I was out of town send him a text see what he's doing like right away I go hey Ed

I didn't know you were here come by the comedy store after if you want to want to hang or something you know and he goes how many right away because he's like he's got to deal with it all the time yeah I said oh shit too and he goes got you mate see it tonight and I was like huh so I tell my girl who both love that I go I think we're gonna go Ed Sheeran just I think just gave me tickets to his the show and this is like as we're driving by the Bollons first time I saw she was that fast I go yes so I don't think the tickets are there I'm telling her the whole time they're not there yeah I want you to know that I know this

seems like this is I look cool we've just started seeing each other they're not there because I'm a comedian and crazy and so I go to the box office and I ask this lady Doris I believe was her name and if not just you can picture a story yeah and I said I have two tickets Brent Warren he goes we don't have him here who gave me I go Ed Sheeran Ed Ed Sheeran gave you the door is this yes this is the Ed Sheeran concert I go no Ed Ed Sheeran gave me the tickets she goes well you have to go around then why are you here and I was like okay Doris yeah we go up I'm behind the Hollywood Bowl now it's my last chance I'm thinking

they're not there they are he gives me two tickets that day like four hours later I go to the seats their front row center like dead center I send a picture of the stage to him I write him I go I must be a really good kisser and then he writes back I love you mate see you after the show and my favorite moment of this is Chris Dalia and I because we're like brothers is Chris is there too with his girlfriend at the time but he's further back and he asked like two months ago and so and he gets a little insecure he goes why are you all the way down there and I said he goes when'd you ask like months ago when'd you ask I said four

hours ago and he goes huh and I said you got to have drinks with Ed man you're not it yeah and then afterward I couldn't be a better date night right Ed's killing it I set you up yeah really did and the best part was afterward I sent him a text that was great if you want to have a drink I'm gonna be at the comedy store okay hang out he goes I'm going to dinner with my ex I said well you're definitely gonna need a drink that lol and then I'm thinking that's it not gonna hear from him out of nowhere I hear from me goes where you at and I'm like I'm at the comedy store come he goes I'm at Saddle Ranch I go we'll

definitely leave that place and he goes like I can't I'm with my crew he because he hangs with the crew guys it's very humble he's adorable and I go over there and he goes we're in the back I have all the drinks ready I go there again he kisses me again he kisses Jason Collins on the lips too and then he pulls me behind an AT&T store because he went out with his ex yeah and just wanted to talk to me about like love and life and like is this the one like really Ed Sheeran lyrics yeah yeah lives up to his song yes and I said to him I go listen Ed Sheeran I thought it was funny you're gonna be fine I go what do you think of

this girl like I like her I think like I'm scared of me in a relationship but I think I want to do it she's lovely mate she's absolutely lovely she's great it's a good one and I'm like man maybe I should date her and he's like you should he's like why not take the risk so I did and you know he's also a redhead he is a redhead yeah he got off his phone in social media for a year so then I never heard from him again you'll see him again hopefully will you'll see him again good people but that was yeah when you say you're gonna tell a story does it have to be 20 minutes long I didn't know I didn't know how to I love

that I figured what the hell a friend yeah I'm also competitive and I wanted to be you can do whatever you can do whatever you fucking want hour 19 is your longest right yeah watch every episode we're at time wise we're at 115 we still have a question what is this unisom yeah I'm hopeful advice with Bobby Kalayla in hot guy Brent thank you also scared the shit out of me like that oh my god I'm a 20 year old 28 year old woman and I've never been in a relationship don't get me wrong we don't start over judge over take that out I can't get out start over I was 28 and the girl I just broke up but that was my first

relationship I know but don't respond like that you really literally wolf yeah yeah so don't well yeah do it again her name's Amanda Amanda yeah Amanda say it again start from the top I love that movie I'm a 20 year old I'm a 28 year old woman yeah okay and I've never been in a relationship yeah well love's hard to find don't get me wrong I've dated and have an active social life but things never worked out I'm overweight in parentheses but cute I guess question mark and parentheses and always compensated with my humor and personality throughout college I would have one night stands hoping that

somehow that would land me a boyfriend no obviously it was the worst way to go about things yeah I have lots of guy friends but no boyfriends now I'm older now and have a wonderful job a home great friends and family but I'm lacking in the love department I don't know what to do I'm having a berry bariatric surgery yeah she's getting the gastric bypassed asleep tell me lose the excess weight because that's something for myself and I've always wanted so when she could when you get this sounds very sweet if she's if she's eligible for bariatric surgery yeah she's got to be a pretty big no no no not 600 I've had

friends in that's true in the 200s who gotten bariatric so she weighs 200 plus yes she's a big girl probably let's assume she's a big girl she's getting bariatric but as 30 gets closer and closer I'm scared that maybe I don't know what I'm doing as far as dating am I capable of being in a relationship am I capable of love should I be patient and stop freaking the fuck out help me I'll tell you why it's not weight related and I'll tell you why it's not your weight that's getting in the way of your relationship because we watch 600 pound life and they have boyfriends husbands lovers yeah they real keepers to I found

someone I know I'm just saying that's not why people aren't attracted to you like you know there are a lot of men out there who love you know bigger and thicker women very true yeah but also don't give it up so easily you know yeah I mean just just well here's why when she said in college the one night stands I bet there was a she felt an insecurity to act like one of the guys to be like you know to be like why don't we just get to the point and you know do that type of thing which is like very cool because you're like well I like how direct you are and how you're not playing games but she might have thought

that's gonna lead to this because I'm cool I'm like I'm not like this girl over here that's being like no but also like maybe you know she might have had that going on and now she's kind of fallen into the whole friend yeah but but also maybe she's not a victim maybe she's particular about who she wants to date and maybe you're your criterion for you know who you actually want to be in a relationship with you know is is a lot or you know more exhaustive than others like you know maybe she has in she's particular about who she wants it and that's perfectly fine or or maybe lose the weight nothing to do with last night

okay there was a group I'm not gonna name the names but there was three comics in the back door who I know yeah they're more open-micers great but they're funny guys and they were thinking about going to Adelida night what is this Annalisa Adelida it's a it's a brothel in Tijuana and it's great but that night yeah you do night runs I said that I'm gonna go when I was a young person I probably been to Adelida a hundred times okay okay I don't know but what comes to say that I know I'm gonna say something good-looking white dude from fucking Connecticut yes sometimes guys like us don't have a lot of options

mm-hmm so we I have to do extra shit okay all right for me to get her look at her he had a trick not I had a trick not right not only did a truck look at trick not right yeah I had to get I had to get funny I had to do extra shit well you know what there's I'm not gonna get this yeah right with this but there's something to say about I I this girl was my first real relationship because I liked being single and is because I made a conscious a conscious whatever the word is conscious choice that my 20s would have figure out who I am and the 30s were to find out I should be with I never plan to be in a relationship my

20s I want to scratch your eyes out I just had that mindset like let me get my career my life and those things in order right you know and then when I met her I was on a TV show I had this at that so I felt like okay I can pump the brakes and like actually meet someone it did but but who knows I'm never had a problem you don't have a problem I never had a problem with you and I aren't the same same I'm a good talker baby I know I know but maybe she was doing that now she's got that I know I'm not saying she's probably very pretty does she have to go to Tijuana though no no what I'm just saying some guys have to do things

right yeah a little extra sure to get because these guys last night don't look like you or Delia or anybody they're mutants all right and I'm a mutant and that's where they came up to me and because they know that I'm the head of the mutants I am yeah and they go and they go captain mutant so we're gonna go I go go but be safe I wouldn't go tonight go go this week earlier on it's too late right and they go thank you captain mutant and they disappeared in the fucking forest right my point is is that some people right aren't born with a genetic lottery some people are born like me and we have to do extra shit and

I'm okay with that but this girl is not saying she's not getting laid she's just an active social life she has sex she's just not in a mean she's never been in a meaningful lasting relationship I think what you're saying is correct it's not abnormal I didn't hear that part I'm so I should listen to her first but that you know what it is it's the age timeline that people put they put like precedence on a timeline because for women especially especially for women I understand that you know but it's like just get that out of your head you're gonna be okay because then you might rush into something that sucks yeah I

mean I noticed it with women when around the age of 23 when I was single and I was just running around is when they were around 23 all of a sudden they're drinking a wine they have a sex in the city attitude I'm looking for something a little bit more you know they got their first job it feels like a career and then when they hit 25 they realize what the fuck am I doing I'm still young things are fine like go out 23 I just know this dick and on alleyway in Europe somewhere I think that actually is a poem very nice very good poem suckin dick in an alley you're a harmonized Bobby

ABC wait that's NBC what is ABC is that what it is let's give her some type of meaningful advice before we just oh yeah I'm sorry my bad you say it then no you say it lady she had the gastric bypass surgery right let that heal get on a nice little just listen yes because it's for your self-esteem right start going to curves to work out right and then you know and then what it is is this you can't put importance into it mm-hmm could I say this mm-hmm this year I didn't want to be on a show yeah and it just happened so don't put your eye on it just let it go and do what will you love go to work be with your family

you got it Bobby you know be free why is it so funny keep listening Amanda it's gonna finish he just said in a Latin song right now part of your world he's just telling you to be a good Samaritan he said open up a good book be cool Amanda feel free to say to follow me I love you I love you it's supposed to be unhelpful advice it protects us oh I didn't know that helpful advice it's all that helpful suck a dick in an alleyway yes do that yeah I mean a

Gustavo what do we got time wise we're at 125 you did it right the record one how about a father print more and everybody that was great it was fun times man I was oh boy any show yeah you want to plug something man it's really what do you want to go I don't really have anything you have no road dates not right now I'm here working on trying to get this show yeah yeah tell him I said hi I'm always we would have had you we were trying to get you on the show at some point you know that's you would have had so much fun stop I'm gonna just say this because I wish you had I wish you hadn't said that no don't do that

okay yeah I wish you hadn't said that back up all right you had three seasons of a sitcom very good friend of mine Chris Delia yeah your friend yes Rick Lassman right John was a writer yeah I couldn't get a line it's very true because I don't know we didn't have a lot of pull sweet oh yeah can I make who else was on it Roy Scoville made an appearance but he'd worked with okay all right good who else was on it well Whitney got on when you yeah okay when you comment okay who else was on it who else was on it Ed Sheeran Ed Sheeran that's that's different yeah I get that one okay give

me another comic that's been on it um Kevin Christie ever do it no okay we didn't have a lot because we had a big cast and I had I had a strict three monologues an episode that's a lie I want to say something to you friend I'll get this if it's horrible if if I'm splitting up together the show I'm on last three years you'll be on it what is what is the what could I play a like a neighbor you could play my friend at work that I don't like I don't know what it is but you know do I not like my job and I'm looking for love I'm not a writer and I'm not the showrunner but I don't know what you're name Arthur

Arthur yeah yeah you gotta help me we already did the 125 you already but we're ending the fucking podcast okay he's gonna get 130 yeah we're not going to 130 okay you watch it so bad what's a rom-com time all right all right good thank you guys thank you thank you tigers we have a house clean should we come back yeah well we'll do a house cleaning housekeeping okay we'll be right back guys yeah yeah yeah and we are back you guys Bobby is going to be at the hilarities in Cleveland Ohio June 1st to the 3rd and the weekend after that he'll be in Bellevue Washington which is basically Seattle that's June 8th through

the 10th and June 22nd through the 24th is North Carolina let me double check oh shit 20 22nd to the 24th Comedy Zoo in Charlotte North Carolina on July 20 to the 22nd he'll be at the Tempe Improv Tempe Arizona and July 28 29th Wise Guy Salt Lake City for more tour dates go to Bobby Lee live comm cool mm-hmm George anything from the interwebs you'd like to share nope all good oh wow George has something to share we should have given that girl better advice I thought it was good it got real I don't know first of all did Bobby die what happened something like that he's giving Brent a ride home but

gosh I mean I thought you get great advice no I didn't Brent did and then Bobby started to and then that was giving bad advice and decided to start it's like red of things the assumption is that if you've never been in a relationship in your 28th is that you're like his assumption and Bobby's mind is that he she's unfuckable but she's not I do you know how many people have started dating at the age of 15 and have been in shit like shit relationships and still don't know how to be in relationships all the way until their 40s when I was 22 I dated a guy who was 40 and I thought okay well you know he's

gonna be more developed more mature in this relationship because he's older he's seen it all and he was the worst boyfriend I ever had to this day the worst one and it wasn't because I was 22 it was because he was 40 but he was 22 inside and it and I I started dating boys and I was 15 and being in relationships and I I still have a hard time navigating through you know relationships in general and so I don't know my advice is you're perfectly fine there's nothing wrong with you it's just that you haven't found somebody who you feel is probably worth your time in that way and yeah that's it if you're

looking for more wisdom go listen to an Ed Sheeran song apparently a word for breath oh dang Gobi you're always barking what else do we have to talk about guys come on we should we should house clean house keep some more I mean every I mean shirts have been sold out new shirts will be coming out we're not doing shirts in the next new sorry new merchandise new merchandise sometime next few months people keep asking about stickers are we gonna I'm doing another sticker run yeah but we're not just randomly mailing them to people right cuz that's a lot of work yeah we lost our minds the last time I think some

people still didn't get the stickers it's not an easy thing no those are the ones that I'm gonna I'm doing the run for the ones that didn't haven't gotten them yet in the beginning when we were when we were very very we ran out of stickers the first time yeah but that we could still there were there were enough people or it was a smaller amount of people listening so we could still send them all out to everybody but you know how many fucking paper cuts I got on my lip you fucking licking envelopes too fast and sure a more efficient way to do that yeah you put a sponge in water yeah

you know I have an oral fixation I like to use my mouth for things so shut up George yeah tell us about your tinderates hey I want to ask you something you were just in Bogota this past weekend you just took off and you left us I love your accent you threw on yeah wait with house you how do you say Bogota yeah I heard you were in Bogota and no the way you said it was like George I want to ask you about Bogota or whatever the Bogota and you can't even say you Medellin it's Medellin right yeah I watch narcos okay I just know it's not it's it's Medellin Medellin yeah tell us about Bogota well it was great

apart from getting drugged robbed and waking up having pissed my only pair of pants really real yeah are you kidding me robbed yes I did he went full narcos then George okay we have to say this for next weekend yeah okay my goodness I'm so sorry oh god George reporting you didn't text none of us my phone got toy take it I couldn't text anybody wait you're there's nothing I bought a new one okay there's no longer than not having your iPhone I've realized like because you're so attached to it being in another country not having like that attachment to anybody nothing lonelier oh my lord this is a story and I'm gonna

tell you about the story well I've been robbed multiple times because I'm just a shitty traveler but first time I have been drugged we're gonna talk about it next week then cliffhanger guys Georgie gets robbed oh but one good thing happened though you did take a picture with random girls cuz they all thought you really were Brad Pitt no I'm amazing we'll talk about we don't have a guest next week do we nope okay good we'll talk about it then all right guys thank you so much for listening if you want to write us your questions you can do you can send us your email to the tiger belly at gmail.com you can

follow us on Instagram at tiger belly on Twitter at the tiger belly you can follow me on all forms of social media at Calamity K and you can follow George on George underscore Kimmel on Instagram and you can pay pal money to him for and for everything that he's lost at no wonder you were writing me from you were texting me from your computer I had to get a capacity Apple store this morning to get a replacement poor George this is I'm so sorry we got to talk about this yeah the drug part is freaking me out you had drug oh my god oh my okay we'll talk about it next week guys let's not talk about it anymore let's save it all

wow it is a cliffhanger what do we game of thrones Jesus maybe alright guys see you guys bye bye my arms jiggle too much in that I shouldn't have done that bad and I'm leaving that and now we're done hey prime members you can listen to tiger belly ad-free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today or you can listen ad-free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey