TigerBelly - Episode 94: Andrew Santino & The Purry Gates

Episode Date: June 7, 2017

Bobo does T-Rex arms. Santino is not a desk bitch. We talk favorite worst movies, blow up babies, and the Poway High School Hall of Fame. Watch Andrew Santino's standup special "Home Field Advantage" and catch him on the new series "I'm Dying Up Here," both on Showtime. Check out wagwalking.com today!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly add free on Amazon music download the app today Hey Four three two one hey hey hey everybody can you hear the beat and we can you feel the heat? Hey everybody here. They I guess start over baby. I wrote a song Hey, hey, hey everybody gonna hear the beat everybody can feel the heat Hey everybody gonna heat Do you laugh you can't hear the heat? All right, I'm gonna want me to introduce you to it again. Yeah, yeah, I'm starting over now

Yeah, well you fucked up twice. No, because they're laughing. All right. Do once clean. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey everybody Can you hear the beat everybody? Can you feel the heat? Hey, everybody? Can you hear the beat everybody? Can you feel the heat? Hey wolf gang. I'm a day. Yes, let's get in the house Slippity snap cool cat Slippity snap everybody what we got here is going on here is we got Kalei like you my girlfriend We got jungle jungle monkey We got a white white You know doing the whoever that guy and then we have a special guest tonight

And I want to get serious for a second. I love this man so much He's on fire right now not because he has red hair. That's his look Hey, hey, hey everybody everybody can you feel the heat everybody can you feel the heat? Thank you. Thank you so much. We have Andrew sent let me say that we have Andrew Santino everybody Hey, hey, he is he has a special out on show time He also has a TV show out now called I'm dying up here with Eric Griffin the flat black we've had on the show I know magic and bean bean. We had bean bean in the show to al madrigal and I know you don't like when I get racial

So I edit that or what what why just said bean bean and I just know you can say bean bean That's popular phrase that black and Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we have this The lead are you the lead in the show where there's many it's an ensemble who's number one on the call sheet that Melissa Leo. Yeah, yeah, girl that won an Oscar. All right. Relax. Well, you asked. I've never heard of her before Melissa, you never have a movie. She's from um fighter or that the fighters were the mom. Yeah. Oh, she's great mom. She's amazing Bobby doesn't know what she is Who's okay, who what number are you on the call sheet when you see it? I'm not gonna tell you to always do you have to be too?

No top five. Mm-hmm. Yeah, is Eric below you though? He's so big. I don't know where No, there's a billboard in on a New York with just him on it one of them. It's the whole building. I know I said if anyone doesn't know you are they see this guy on the thing. I'm dying up here. It looks like a PSA for diabetes So mad Yeah, he looks awful on that fucking building I'd be out getting a car accident Oh, my god, wouldn't you with that big head ugly guy dude one of the ugliest that Yeah, yeah, he's a sweet sweet. We love very very talented guy. He's the best, but let me ask you something. He's not a model

male model he could be like the before picture Right, no, you know what? Yeah, I'll tell you I'll Love griff so much, but griff is the funniest guy about like he's like not if you don't know Eric griff I'd look him up. He's not shy about his food addiction. Yeah And on set he made this like kind of like heartfelt promise to me that he wouldn't eat a doughnut And I should restrict him from eating doughnuts Yeah, but I would see him like go buy the doughnuts And have like a conversation with them. Oh, no, that's so funny. I mean he'd be standing there like, you know

So at the end of the season he was like I'm having my doughnut day and I've I've a stream of you know photo burst photos Yeah, of him eating tons. I mean doughnuts doughnuts plates of doughnuts. Wow. Yeah, he's a he's a he is Yeah, he's a he's so talented and I don't know why I said all those things the truth, but it's fine Also, I want to say out of all the white dudes. I know man Like I let you you you're very funny number one, but I love you. I let you get real racial with me Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's because you know, why I just feel like there is a relationship that we have that We understand that I'm I'm superior to you race-wise

Yeah, and you know that yeah, I maybe deep down side of you You do yeah, and you let it happen because the white man wins again And we should always win and we are always gonna win. Yeah, white power. Hey, yeah In a race war though, let's suppose there's a race where I think you'd pick up even one of the first white people to die No, no, no, you don't know because I work out. I'm athletic I wouldn't matter I would do pretty well you people can see you in a sniper spoke up because you're fucking super red Yeah, yeah, look at the red hair and shoot him get to the red Yeah, but um, no if a race war broke out

I would call up all my black friends I would call up all the black people that I've ever known and say can you adopt me? Can I be on your team really? I'll sell out anything. I I'll sell out anybody. I'll do anything Would you blow in a race war what I blow a guy to live a black eye? Yeah, you would yeah head tilt Yeah, but I was thinking about that. It's like that's my life. You know what I mean? Do I have to does he have to finish? Always come on. Yeah Not inside the mouth. No, I'll do it today

Get him in here bring out Eric Griffin Here it comes. I was like in prison like if I was in prison Would I I feel like because I don't want the violence of rape I feel like I would be like, all right if you had to go to prison for life Yeah, what you wouldn't just kill yourself. I don't think so. You would wait it out You would because I already know that I'd be innocent because I'm a I would probably in prison for something I didn't do so I would you know, I would hope that there would be a documentary and stuff you about me Yeah, you want you want what's that story? Why can't I think of the net the Netflix? What's it called? Oh with

Yeah, making a murder you want making murder about Or the Wichita 3 Wichita 3. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah Damian eckles and those guys. Yeah, I mean I would you think you got convicted for? Probably like human trafficking or something. That's actually very plausible. Yeah, that's pretty possible. I feel like that's a thing I see I was gonna say I was murder. Yeah, I think you could I think what I think you could show your penis Like you always do in a place where you shouldn't and it it's there's like a new a new law that you're automatically in prison for life For showing like in Singapore. Yes. Yeah, so you could be locked up in Singapore for doing that But let's say there's a place in the United States that has that like Burbank

Because you can't even smoke in the streets in Burbank, you know, that's right. Yeah, you get a ticket Yes, fucking very fucking nice. You can do whatever the fuck I said 17 7 it's it's 18 17 funnier okay? How hypocritical is our country that like 18 is such a number for us, but there's states in the United States where it's like 16 and 17 What state's there's states we Tell me. Don't get in this thing. I think, yeah, like Ohio, would that be one?

Well, I mean, you see the kind of people that come out of Ohio for sure. It's gotta be. Don't say that. You need them to watch the show. No, I love people in Ohio. You're the best. We love you so we're kidding.

Yeah. I think there is like four or five states. You could, we could, we have computer people. Even marriage is 16. Yeah. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, that's amazing.

But let's, like, when- Whoa. Bartending and- No, I mean, not amazing, not amazing, but no, it's just amazing information. Sure. No, no, it's, no, no, it's information that I did not know. Okay, now you know.

And that's why it's amazing. What were you gonna say about bartending? I think in Louisiana or some, it's 18, right? You can bartend at 18. Well, like when I was in high school, Wisconsin was still 18 to drink. And I think that because people would just go up there to go get blasted.

Yeah, I know, which is so crazy. Oh, also, also in Wisconsin, this is how Midwest that place is. If you are underage of any age, like, say you're 15, 16, and you're with a parent, if the parent buys you the alcohol, that's legal to drink with a parent in a bar or a restaurant. Oh, is this in Wisconsin?

Yeah, it's a state law. Yeah. So if your mom and dad went out to dinner with you and you're 16 years old and your parents bought you the beer with a meal, you were allowed to have it. Yeah, but also who lives in Wisconsin? Really good people that I really want to listen to.

Ed Gein. Ed Gein. Yes. Who's from there? Yes. Making a murderer. Yeah, that's where Jeffrey, Jeffrey Dahmer. Jeffrey Dahmer, good guy.

Jeffrey Dahmer, good guy. Yeah. He did most of his eating there. Tell me another person that was able to put people in walls. That's a good talent. What's his name? H, William H. William H. Macy?

No, no, no, no. Who was that one? Who was that one? Sir, the clown, the clown serial killer. Gacy. Oh, John Wayne Gacy. John Wayne Gacy. So great.

I'm a fan of all these guys. What's great about him is the... He wasn't the originator of all those putting people inside walls. Yeah, but he is the originator of doing it. Where his mom's living in the house. Yeah, he did it with family. That's even more, but that's crazy.

Yeah, that's fucking great. That's craftsmanship. Come down for dinner. One second. Spackling a body. Yeah. But what I'm wondering is, is that you don't smell it, lady? I think there's like 30 bodies in the house.

You know what it is? It's like Bates Motel, you know? Where they know what's going on, but it's like you just pretend to not know. Do you ever have a friend in high school? Do you guys ever have a friend in high school? Or when you were young, they're like, oh, you can drink and party at that house.

And the parents were like fake oblivious. It was bullshit. They knew. They were just like, let's go and add up there. It's like, we're smoking pot. There's no way your mom doesn't smell pot. When I was in high school, in Rancho Bernardo, there was a lady named Lucy.

And she had like three babies. But she also had a meth lab. That's where I got my meth. And I used to go there and wait for my meth. And I'd see babies just crawling around like the meth lab. Like it was crazy. That wasn't a moment of clarity for you? No.

That's not my bottom. That's Lucy's bottom, maybe. Babies weren't it? No. They were my babies. Yeah, yeah, who cares? Yeah. Yeah, those are just things, share it at home.

And she sold you meth and then you got a baby. You get meth and a baby. Yeah, you get a meth, yeah. Like at the weed store, they give you a free joint. You get a baby with a child. Yeah. But they were cute white babies. I remember too.

I felt bad about it. What's the cutest race of baby? Black babies. Oh, the cutest. Girls always say black babies. You think Asian, right? I do think Asian babies. Asian is second.

Very close second. See, girls always say black babies. I've always thought Asian babies are the cutest. And then, you know, then they grow up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If you could just keep them that way. I understand that. But the thing is that what you don't realize is that.

You look like a baby that you just deflated. A blow up baby. I'm a blow up baby. That's really good. Like a bike pump. That's really good. Black babies, girls always say black babies.

Yeah. Because they are. Asians are pretty close, though, because they're just very. We overfeed them when they're young. We're just really round. Round. We like them round. That's why I love that.

But white babies are the ugliest thing. 90% of white babies are gross looking. Yeah. Because they're like, they're too like ghastly looking. Presidents to me. That looks like Harry S Truman. They do look like little presidents. Yeah, like exactly.

Not even like. Because they're bald. They're bald. Their eyes are big. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. They do look like their presence. Yeah. White babies are present.

White babies are. I've never held a baby myself. Except for C-section babies. They always come out looking perfect. I hate it. Yeah, they do. Actually, I don't hate it. But I'm just saying they're perfect.

Let me ask you about C. If it comes out through the vaginal canal, the head's all deformed. And they look all just weird for a few days. C-section baby. Big head, though. C-section baby. But that's your race.

It's deformed. No, that's your race. That's your Filipino race. The head has stayed deformed. It's just a momentary, as it comes out of the vaginal canal. I'm not being racist, but that's just where you're from. The country of origin. I mean, I would have felt sorry for your mom

if she had to birth that head. Two babies. C-sections. One of the babies had two heads. That was a big issue. I mean, is her vagina even normal now? No, C-section. It's not the tummy, man.

Oh, that's right. My bad. He doesn't know what it's got. See, that's why I was asking. I don't even know what. C-section is where they put a hole in the tummy, and they pull it out that way. Why don't they do it the other way?

Because sometimes the mom isn't able to birth a normal girl. This conversation is happening also with a parent and a six-year-old somewhere in the house. Why don't they do it the other way? Same parallel. Grow up now. Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk. You can do a callback.

Because I did the thing with your head. Because of your head thing, now you're going to do a callback to your show. I have to do a callback. All right, that's fine. I'm going to let you have one callback. Thank you, one callback. Jesus Christ.

Jessica? What? Jessica, on your coffee. Yeah, yeah, because my girlfriend got me the coffee, and Jessica bought it. I know. Jessica's her friend. My best friend.

Oh, I thought you did that. You said your name was Jessica. Yeah, he has my best friend's doing errands. What do you say when you get called? What do you say your name is? Do you say Bobby? Sometimes I don't know. What's your go-to?

I'll say something that they can't even write. I go, tsk, tsk, tsk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they'll go, what? Tsk, tsk. And as they start writing it, you're like, there's an accent over the uke. You're not doing it right.

Yeah, ZTU. And they go, what? But yeah, I do weird names. You do Andrew, right? I don't support corporate coffee. Are you? Excuse me. No, I'm just kidding.

Are you getting famous now? Oh, my god. You know, it's one of those things where, yes. No, do you feel it? No, dude. No, no, no. So when you walk down the street, no one goes, hey, can I get a photo with you?

No, you know what I don't like? This is actually something that I know you know. I don't like it when someone looks at me and says to their friend or goes and goes, that's not a friend. And then the friend goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I can hear them do that. Right, I've had that happen.

If any, you have to have that all the time. If anything, just come up to me and just go, hey, man, whatever, say whatever you got to say and then leave. There's nothing more uncomfortable than I see someone staring at my face and going, hmm, isn't it? Yeah, I've had this before. Yeah, this is that. And then you see their face color like this.

Like you're angry about it, right? And you're like, what did I do? What did you see me in that you didn't like, you know? But you can't even do that because that's not even open. So you just see like that negativity. I always after his shows, when I go on the road with him and I go to the women's bathroom after your shows and I hear them giving their assessment.

Oh, my God, that's amazing. And I can't say anything. I couldn't, I can't fucking be like, shut up. Can you record that? Can't you record that? I mean, I should. Oh, that's such great material. I know, but I can't handle that.

He can't handle that. I just think that if they're there and especially if I thought I did a good show. But you know you did a good show. I understand that, but I still, you know, I just, I take things personally, man. Dude, you can't. But do you?

No, I don't take any, I don't care. You really, you're like Ari in that way. I don't read reviews. I don't listen to that stuff. Like the cast on our show, they're all upset by some of these reviews. I can't read that stuff. I don't, why would I,

why do I care what one guy thinks? That's so weird to like give credit to somebody that's like one person that's like, here's what I, here's my assessment. Dude, you could be the most acclaimed journalist. I don't, I don't know why I care. Why would I care? Yeah.

If a bunch of other people are like, I hate it too. I'll be like, no, that's a bummer. But I would, that's more affecting, that would more affect me in a community more than one person typing an article. What about this though? Cause I know a guy who did a movie. He got zero percent out round tomatoes.

That's almost awesome. That's almost impossible to do. That's legendary. That's legendary. Well, who is it? I can't tell you. Come on. Zero percent.

Zero percent. Is there a movie that's ever gotten zero? I thought that was not a thing. Well, he has his did. You look it up and it did. Wait, he wrote, directed all that stuff? I think he did write it. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Cause if I, in my head, Just give him one very talented guy. Yeah. Very talented. He's like one of the best. He just made a bad movie. I understand that.

But I think that was his first real lead in a real studio thing. Oh, it was like, oh my God. Yeah. And then that happened. They had real people in it. And it affected him a lot, huh? I don't know.

The negativity. I did, but I'm just saying that if it happened to me, That would destroy you. I'll probably disappear for a year. Yeah. And just to rework what I'm going to do with my life. Wow. Right?

You wouldn't be like that? No, man. I made a shitty sitcom called Mixology that people like fucking dumped on constantly. I read for your part. Did you really? Yeah. I've read so many scripts on that

cause every acting class uses that. Yeah. Here's the irony of bad sitcoms. That show wasn't that bad. It was just another shitty sitcom. But the irony is like people hate them and they dump all over them. But for some reason, people still will talk about them.

Or like it's in the zeitgeist of Hollywood, which is so weird. Which means it's obviously more affected at more than one that, you know, there's like ones from two or three years ago that were on for like six episodes and you'll never hear of them ever again. Or not even remember them.

Yeah. So it's almost like the bad ones are more, they're better. We have an addiction to bad movies. The Room, Troll 2. You know, I did the mockumentary of The Room. Oh, you did? Oh, you did?

No. It's gonna come out this year. No. It's called The Disaster Artist. Well, who plays him? Wasselle? Wasselle. Dude, Franco does.

Can I tell you? The best, he was so good. It was shocking. He put in headphones. He put in headphones every day for hours and listened to Tommy talk over and over and over. Oh my God. Dude, when he got to set, it was like magic.

He was exactly like Tommy Wasselle. It was like watching him. Oh, I can't wait to watch it. Tommy, that's gonna be the best. Dude, you're gonna lose your mind. Lisa? It's an Ari Grainer who's on, I'm dying up here, plays Lisa.

Oh, wow. Dude, when they do the pimple back scene. Yeah. You know how, the pimple. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it was so fucking funny. We did it a hundred times because people were like couldn't hold it in.

Oh, really? Seth Rogan did it with him and Seth played like the fake AD or whatever. And it was so hard to get through takes like that because we all know what's coming. Do you know what I mean? Instead of just a movie script where you read a script and you're like, all right, we're gonna act like this.

Dude, we know what's happening. And the reason why it's funny is because it actually is real. It's real. That's why it's so, I would not be able to be there. It was so, dude, it was so hard. It was so, I mean, but he would break. Like even Franco, who was the best at not breaking,

there was a few times when it was like, there's no way. Hi, Dougie, there was no way. There's no way you don't break. It's impossible because everyone on set is like wanting to laugh at that. You know what sucks about that though? It's gonna give, I mean, I love that movie. Gonna give him more attention.

But it's gonna give Chris, I mean, Tommy was sour a lot of attention. Well, so here's what's a trip. So Tommy came to set, this is my favorite thing. Tommy came to set, he was guaranteed in his contract to do one scene with Franco. That was like in the theater. Oh, wow.

That was the deal. Wait, that's how, that's where he is up here, that he's like, it has to be one-on-one with me and James Franco. Oh my God. So of course, you know, Seth and James, like they signed off on it, they're like, fine, we'll give this guy what he wants.

But you know, of course, the world of Hollywood, you're like, it doesn't mean we have to fucking leave it in the movie. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he was so, this is how in his own head he is, and so like beautifully in his own space. At the rap party, he came with like five models.

Like, dude, I swear to God, he walked downstairs, and he's with all these girls, he has glasses on, and he's waving. He's waving. Like he's blessing us with his presence. And of course, dude, it works. Like, it's almost this mind-fuck, cause everyone rushed up to him, and it was like,

oh my God, people wanted to like take pictures because you're enamored with how insane he is. Yeah. Dude, he was so funny to watch. It's an illusion all the time. Yeah, dude, to work the room is hilarious. I mean, you'd watch him go up to people and like, have these terrible conversations,

and then he would like leave them like, you're welcome. Oh my God. Dude, it was amazing. But that, the movie will come out, I think they just premiered it at, no, I know they did it at South by, and the reception was amazing. Franco, I think, did so much work into it,

and he cared a lot about it. That's amazing. He cared so much about it, cause he was like, he was in love with the room, like so deeply that he wanted to do it justice. So he did scene, he shot scene by scene, like parallel scene by scene. And then the rest of it is us filling in

the background world. So of course, I play, well, you guys know the, you guys know the story well enough. I'm not giving anything away, but I play the idiot that gets his dick sucked. Oh, you do? Oh, I hate that guy. I hate that guy.

It was so fun. Oh my God. Did you watch it over and over again to get it down? I already had seen the room a bunch, but I did watch it a bunch, but also on set, they had a bunch of like iPads and stuff to re-watch those scenes that we had to re-enact. Oh, that's amazing.

The next one you guys should do is a remake of the Neil Breen ones that we've been watching. Oh, yes, I have to. I don't think it says, I don't think that says crazy as the room though. The room is the top. I think it's the tip top. Troll 2 is pretty good though.

It's pretty high on that. The dance scene in Troll 2. But Troll 2 is, it's, well, Troll 2 is almost so bad. It's not fun sometimes. Yeah. You know where the room is so bad that it's funny? Yeah.

Sometimes some things are so off bad that you're like, I don't know. Sometimes it's not, it misses the mark, do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The room scenes that are so memorably terrible, it's because they cared and it didn't work. Yeah. So it's almost like if you,

if they don't really care and you're just kind of making it happen, it's not that beautiful, but like he thought it was a good idea to green screen all of those rooftop scenes. Do you know what the beauty is? What? He shot on a roof sometimes. He shot on a roof with a green screen.

Oh. It's unbelievable. Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah. It's on the roof. He wanted to sub in another cityscape in the background because he didn't want the one that existed behind it. Oh my God.

It gone. Two super guns. So, so far gone. Crazy. The details that Franco would divulge were just amazing. The stuff that he learned in talking to Tommy about like the way he went about stuff or the way he chose, like whatever you think

the reason was behind it, completely wrong. You're way off. Like he did everything in a way that has, there's zero sense, zero, zero sense. That's beyond delusion, right? Because delusion, there are moments where, there's still moments of feeling humiliated or feeling like, wow, I let people down.

I don't think he has that chip at all. So it's a different kind, it's beyond delusion. It's like, what's sociopath? Is that the word? It's sociopathic, right? Where you're like above society, you think you can influence the world. Isn't that sociopathic?

Yeah, but I almost wonder if he's even, if he's even capable of feeling bad, like or feeling embarrassed or- Yeah, no, he's probably devoid of that. Yeah. Because with sociopathy, it's more like no remorse, right? With him, I don't think he's even able to stir up any emotions, regardless,

because he's just out of this world. Like if someone died and he would just be like, oh, wow. But it's not a real, oh, wow. But- He just knows you're supposed to say that. He should be just a case study for all scientists. Hey guys, he made a movie.

Yeah. That James Franco, yeah, that James Franco remade about his, you know, so he did something right. That did feed his ego. The fact that Franco wanted to redo it was almost like, imagine him getting the phone call. Oh my God.

Someone being like, James Franco wants to do movies. He's like, of course he does. In his head. If you haven't seen the room, you have to see it everybody. Must watch. It's a must watch. Samurai Cop is also a good one. I like Samurai Cop.

I've never seen Samurai Cop. Is that the guy with hair, right? And he had to wear the wig and stuff. Samurai Cop is one of the best. Please watch it. It's so good. It's so funny. How old is it?

It's 1991. Oh, so it's not, okay, okay. It's not that old. So they shot the movie and then months afterward, they had to reshoot the movie, but he had already cut his hair. No, no, no. So half of the movie he's wearing is a really weird wig.

Yeah, but not only that is that, the director goes, hey buddy, I'm gonna do some ADR. He shows up, his hair's short. The guy yells at him. Why you got your hair, right? He's like, I thought we were just doing ADR. No, we're shooting half the movie. So then he takes him to Hollywood Boulevard

at one of those wig shops. And buys a wig. And we're like, that one. And he put it on him and they shot half the fucking movie with that hair. There's one point where he's in a fight scene and it just comes off because he only did one take. It's amazing the movie.

Dude, there's a Samurai Cop too. I know he, because. Not a remake though. Oh. Yeah, there's, no, here's what happened. So the guy, they thought he had died. The main actor. Yes, the inner, because there was a carpenter

on this set with the same exact name and he had died. Wait. What? I swear to God. What's the guy's name? Do you remember? Mark, what's the name? Joe Marshall?

No. Or Matthew Coretas? Yeah, that's him. Matthew Coretas, right? People thought he had died. And so when this became a cult sensation, people were like, they were in production to make Samurai Cop too.

Because they thought he had died. Can I believe that? Now, meanwhile, he had changed his name and he lived in Colorado. What? Wait, wait, wait. Was he on the run from something? No, he just decided to leave L.A.

Because he was Sylvester Stallone's bodyguard, right? And then Sly was like, you know, move the hit and then it didn't happen. So he just left and he moved to Colorado, had kids. That's soul crushing. So his daughter goes, dad, I mean online, I mean, Samurai Cop is getting a little heat. He's like, I don't give a fuck.

And they all think you're dead. It's such a feeling. And they think you're dead. And then it took him two years. And one day he just grabbed the camera and goes, all right, hey, I'm Margot, I didn't die. You know, so that's that, right? And then he sent it to his daughter.

His daughter posted it. And then it became this revival. It went viral, right? It went viral. And then all of a sudden, he is the lead in Samurai Cop 2. When does this come out? When does this come out? It came out, I think.

It came out in 2015. It just came out. Here's the thing with those kind of movies. You can't duplicate it. No, no, see, just the same thing. What Franco does is it's a tip of the hat to the, like it's like paying homage to Tommy, is really what it is. He just wanted to show what that world probably

was like behind the scenes. When you hear, the interviews are hilarious. Like a bunch of the scenes I shoot with Nathan from, oh my god, what's wrong with me? Oh my god, from his own Comedy Central show. Nathan for you? Yeah, Nathan for you. Why can't I think of his last name?

I'm like drawing something weirdest blank. Huh? Yeah, Nathan Fielder. And he, that was way too much time. That was way too much time. That's it, guys. That's it for the pop. Burn that bridge with that guy, bud.

He hates you not forever, but it's fine. He doesn't have podcasts. But we would just sit there and try to think of how to react because he would do a ton of improv. And Franco was really good at that. Why don't, he would come out, we'd be smoking a cigarette on the curb. And Nathan would be like, I don't really

know what he wants us to do. He keeps saying like more emotion, more emotion. But I don't know. And he would come out and he'd go, you guys done with BuddyFuck around fast? Did they tape all that? They taped all of it, all of it, all of it. So they show the stuff behind the scenes.

That's what it really is. It's the making of. The amazing thing that you can do. Yes, that's what it is. That's going to work. So the scene by scene stuff that he duplicated, there's only so many of them, right? Sure.

Yeah. But the majority of the thing is what this world was behind. And they show how many people got fired, how many people quit. Dude, over the course of this film, it was something insane, like 30 crew members quit because they were like, he doesn't even pay. And I can't do this anymore?

The hardest thing was Cistero, Greg Cistero, who's Mark. He is actually such a cool, nice, awesome, sweet dude who thought this was just a fucking thing that was going to go away. Do you know what I mean? He did it and was like, whatever, it was my first acting. How many times you do something early on in Hollywood where you're like, I don't know.

I did it when I did. I did the underground comedy movie that for a decade, they put advertisements on late at night on Comedy Central. Dude, I remember that. And I was in those advertisements. I had to get a lawyer. I had got a lawyer to get out of it because he paid me $50 back in the day in 1997 when I did it.

And then it's now 2006. And it's still like playing on Comedy Central. How much money did he put in the marketing to have that run? Because Vin's offer is the guy that he's a Shambow guy. Oh, yeah. So he made millions of dollars. He's like an infomercial king or whatever.

Is he alive? He's still alive, yeah. Which one died? Somebody died, right? Didn't one of them die on the OxyClean? Yeah, the fat guy with the beard. The OxyClean. OxyClean, yeah.

But then Vince Offer did. But Vince is the guy that bit a hooker's face. Yes. Yes, yeah. But Vince Offer, he remade the movie. That's so funny to me. Like, did he come in the front or on the side? I think he bit the cheek.

I think he bit her cheek. I've done that so many times. That's one of my moves. No, no, no. Yeah, but he remade the fucking movie and he put Adrian Barode in it, which did it. He did it. I think Whitney Cummings did it.

What? And he paid them a lot of money to do it. Wait, but OK, I was just going to say, it's either money or connections. He didn't know anybody that knew them. This was just him throwing money in a beard. No, but then, yeah, and then when he remade it, yes. But then he's like, I'm going to use your scene

from the first movie. And that's when my lawyer goes, if we're going to sue if you do that. So then he got a different Asian guy to do it. Oh my god, thank god. Is it available on DVD? Can I buy it? Yeah, but I'm not in the second one.

Oh, you're not. I'm in the first one. OK, I need that. Why? I just need it for my soul. I play karate and I do karate in it. I need this so badly. Yeah, I have a thick Asian accent.

Oh, that's OK. Do the accent. I don't even remember what I want. I think somebody dubbed my lines. Yeah, you know who else is in it? Michael Clark Duncan. What? Before anything.

Before Green Mile. Yeah, way before. It was like we had nobody then. What was the budget on this movie? I don't know. I was living in San Diego. I'm in an open mic in La Jolla. Vince offers there, right?

Yeah. He goes, hey buddy, hey buddy, I'm a director. I mean, I do information. I have a lot of money. I go, cool. He goes, hey buddy, you're very funny. I need an Asian guy for my movie. And in my head, since I live in San Diego,

I have a waiting job. I just started doing stand up. I'm like, I'm going to make it. This is Hollywood. This is it. I'm in. So I drove up there. He paid me 50 bucks.

I was there for days. I remember. 50 bucks. Yeah, that was it. You're in Hollywood. Yeah. And then. Cash, did he do cash?

What? Yeah, he was cash. But I remember the ego I had when I drove back. The windows down. Yeah, no, I didn't get a spot at open mic. And I yelled at the guy, I'm in a movie. I really said that. I'm in a movie.

You don't know that? I don't give a fuck what movie. I'm in a movie. Just wait. Just wait. You'll know what movie to run for 10 years. Then I'll later be replaced by another Asian guy. Have you ever had one of those been in a disaster movie?

Well, I was in like a, I did so many sketches or student filmy type of things. I did this one that I can't get the credit scrubbed off of IDMB. Yeah, IBM. I can't get it off of IBM. What is it? Everyone's going to look it up.

You can. It's on there. It's called Crafty. It was about the craft service industry. I just need to look at the. Oh, my. And I played like the head. Oh, watch.

You'll see. Yeah, I'm the po. I think I'm on the. It was this guy. It was this friend of a friend that I knew at the time. He was like, I'm making this thing. And I thought, yeah, OK, I'll do this little thing. He's like, it's like a little.

It was like a web series type of thing. And I thought nothing of it. I was like, yeah, maybe I'll just do it. And to this day, I'm like, can I please email the president? Is it from a like a reputable company that did it? No, just a young friend of a friend who's a really good dude. And he's like, since then, obviously, done his own thing. But like, it was just we were all kind of like, no one knew what we were doing.

It's not going to hurt you. Well, he's a nice guy. And I love it. It's not going to hurt you. I mean, you could even tell like. Is it 2009? Crafty. Oh, my God.

Look at how weird it looks. Look at how weird it is. Where are you? You're not on there, right? Dude, I'm the one lifting my arm up. That's you right there. Yeah. Let me see.

Crafty. Yeah, you can't even tell. You can't tell. You can't tell. No, I know. You shouldn't even set it on this podcast to be honest with you. You should have lied. The buried is forever.

Well, they'll never find it. That's the thing. There's nowhere to find it. Oh, there is a. No, you can't get it. Yeah. That was the other thing. I was like, I sent an email to the internet movie database and I was like,

this isn't a thing anymore. But because he registered it with the union, you know, if you register it with as a SAG ultra low budget, whatever, it stays. You can't get anything on your IMDB off. Nothing. If you did it, it's there. It's up where you found it. Where?

IMDB. Oh, it's probably the trailer, right? It's a trailer on IMDB, yeah. Yeah, the trailer. You can see the trailer guys on IMDB. Called Crafty 2009. C-R-A-F-C-Y. Yeah, it's just a trailer.

Yeah, you can't get away from it. It's so sad. Yeah, but that's not going to, you know. No, that's not going to. It's funny. It was just the thing I did for everyone. Can I say to everyone, you helped me out. And the reason why you helped me out is with this project I'm doing with Brandon.

Dermar, yeah. Yeah. So I'm on a new show coming out on VICE. I hate plugging my stuff. I'm not plugging. No, but you should play in August. You should play. Yeah, I'm just telling you because Andrew set me up with this.

So what happened was my agent called me and goes, it's VICE Land, James Vanderebeek. It's their first scripted series. I go, how much money is it? You go, nothing. Yeah. I go, nope. Yeah. Right?

And that's all. I love VICE Land. I just, the money was so low. Oh, yeah. So then over the weekend, I get repeated calls from Andrew. And I finally get ahold of you and you go, you have to do it. I go, why? He goes, you said, it's a great project, but the director is a friend of mine.

He's very talented. At least meet with them, et cetera, et cetera. So I met with them and I did it. Yeah. This kid is so talented, Brandon. It's remarkable, right? He's an incredible kid. But I knew, well, he called me.

He directed my stand-up special, actually. Him and I have been friends for a long time. And we did the Showtime one? Yeah. Oh, that's amazing. Dermot did it. And when I saw his rise, when I knew how good he is going to continue to be, when he said that he couldn't get you, I was like, normally I wouldn't bother anybody.

But I was like, I'll put in a phone call because I want that to happen. Oh, wow. Because I believe in him so much. Most of the time, dude, if someone was like, hey, could you ask so-and-so? And I'd be like, nah, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been enough. Sorry.

Yeah, you have to say no. But I'll say no. But he didn't even ask me. He just said, we were in conversation. And he goes, yeah, I want Bobby Lee so bad. And I don't think he wants to do it. And da, da, da, da, da. But I told him.

He didn't ask me. But I was like, let me call Bobby just to kick it with you, to see if you guys can have coffee. And I was like, I'll just do that. And he was like, no, no, no. Don't worry about it. But I'm so happy that you met with him because you do see when you work with him how good he is, huh? Yeah, and only that is that.

And the project is awesome, it's a cool project and also as a person, I think I really love him. Yeah. Because he's unassuming. He doesn't seem like a director. Nope. He almost seems like some kid that works at Circle K. No, I'm not even kidding.

No, I know. The clothes. Everything. He's so unassuming. I think what makes him so good at what he does, though, is the fact that he's very much, he's careless about all the bullshit details that a lot of people pay attention to. And he's really good at just being creative. So that's the thing.

Like, yeah, yeah, he dresses and he does his own thing. It's not like he's, he's not in tune with anything of the Hollywood ilk, if that means anything. That's an advantage. Yeah, it's huge. Dude, that's why I think he's so good at what he does. You know how Ridley Scott, someone like Ridley Scott, older guy, you know, when they're setting up cameras and stuff like that, he probably plays like Rachmaninoff or something,

right? Right. Brandon plays death metal. Yeah, hardcore metal. But not even just death metal that I've never even heard before, like so extreme that my ears are bleeding. He puts it up to a 10 and just all these producers, everyone just sitting there has to listen to it.

Yeah. It's awesome. And he just sit in there and I go, what the fuck is this? Because it's just to me, it just makes this calming. It is for him. Yeah, I just love it. It's like, I need it. He loves, there's a group of videos he directed for this, this band called Necrogoblakon.

And you like, that's like the most hardcore, yeah, they have this beautiful music video where this goblin they created as like the symbol of the band, you know, this, the music video has the goblin who takes the most beautiful girl in the office, like out on a date. Yeah. And of course, she starts hitting on another guy from the office. Yeah. And you see like the goblin get like sad and you think like, oh, it's poor goblin. And then of course, in the standard of what a goblin would do, he takes him in the parking

lot and just like claws his face off to like hardcore death metal. Yeah. It's that kind of, it's like that kind of psyche that Brandon has, like these moments of like crazy chaotic, beautiful, soft, quiet, amazing, loud, big, huge. He just has, I think he just knows how to write those, write those waves really well. And I like also, like I did a movie about five months ago, I'm not going to name what it is. What's it called?

The director, I'm not going to say it, but the director, you know, I just hated him. I fucking like as soon as he did, was he a dick? This is him. First movie he's ever directed, right? Right. And he comes to me and goes, ah, you're doing it wrong. He's Asian. But that was Asian.

Do that again. He's American too. Oh, okay. Yeah. Let me just do it the way I'm doing it. Yeah. Yeah. You're doing it wrong.

I go, what do you mean? I want you to do this. And he puts his hand up like this, like a T-Rex and he starts walking and he goes, and he does this accent like, this is, I want you to do it like this. What? Yeah. I go, that's not real. What?

What? I'm not going to tell you what it is. What was the character supposed to be doing? Just a regular guy. But a T-Rex. Yeah. But every note, every note was like, that's not right. But you don't.

What do you do in those situations? Do you follow? Do you? You have to. You have to. But you know what's so funny is I only hope I can get to a level in my career where you can quit that. You know what I mean?

Right, right. When people can just quit that stuff, I'm so impressed when someone's like, I'm not doing it. I'm leaving. Right. Robert De Nero did like a PSA, right? And so he, I didn't have a lot of time to do it. It's on YouTube if you want to see it.

He does it, hey, you know, check out this website, this and this and this. And the director is new and young and he goes, can you do it with more emotion? Okay. And Robert De Nero goes, no. And he just walks off screen, like that's where I want to go. Yes. When you get to a point of, no, I'm going to leave. Yeah.

Because if I was that guy, I go, okay, and I'd have to like, you know what I mean? It's embarrassing. But Brandon though has the kind of notes I love because they, they make sense. Just listen more, right? And this thing because of the fact that, and then just take a beat. These are things that I understand, right? Yes. Maybe you should do it a little faster because we're cutting to this, like just things that

he's going to do next to fit the edit or whatever. Right. And you're like, these are clear things that I can understand. Yeah. But sometimes directors are just so vague and you can, there's a sense of like animal practice, same thing. This director goes, do the face like this. And I go, I went up to the Russo brothers and I go, I'm not doing that because my instinct

is right. And they go, yeah, you, what you did was right. And they told him, I know that he hasn't been in a lot of sitcoms and I know you've never seen him before, but he's really funny. So just let him do it. So he comes up to me. The director goes, just do what you do. So that works.

Thank God. Yeah. I had to do it at that point because I'm not going to be on national TV and doing a face like this. You don't need to do it. But like a young guy like you, if you get, if you got a show, they give you fucking notes like that. And then you have to do it because you have no power.

You also can't say anything back. It's not like you go, well, what if I do it this way? And they're like, all right, pictures up. I've had that. Have you ever had any nightmares or no? No, no. I mean, I've, I've, without saying any names or anything like that, I've just had, I've had directors that the right away that we both know we don't like each other in the sense

of like this, I don't, you don't like what I do. I mean, it's just a, it's not, it's nothing personal. It's just like, we're just, we're just two separate entities, but that's, that's the worst work. That is worse than a 15, 16 hour work day. If it's a two hours of that, that's my fucking living nightmare. It's a night. That's worse than the longest day shooting till five in the morning all night long.

That doesn't bother me. When that thing happens, I can't get out of my body. The worst is this. You do a scene, cut, and then you can see everyone in video village, right? And they're just doing like, just throwing shit, screaming at somebody, somebody's crying, right? And it's your close up and you're like, you're looking, you can't say anything, but you're witnessing it.

Is it okay? Am I getting fired? Yeah. Yeah. Well, this was my favorite. That pilot for Mixology was shot by Larry Charles, who's probably one of the best company directors of all time. And he was so good and confident that this was my favorite thing, network, you know,

ABC was upstairs, you know, and it's like all these suits, you know what I mean? We shoot this pilot and, and this was my favorite. None of these execs wanted to come give notes to Larry Charles, like, I mean, they don't want to say anything. Right? So they send down some poor little kids, some like poor PA, dude, and he, dude, his face down the stairwell from upstairs every time was like, we get to Larry and be like, Mr. Charles, some of the people upstairs, they were wondering if maybe are you going to go

tighter on this? Are we going to do this tighter? And you would just see him, he would stare at the kid for like a minute and not say anything and then go, I'll be fine. And then the kid would just be like, yeah. Okay. And then run away. And that was my, that was my favorite way to see a director deal with like a network like,

I'll do what I don't, I'm going to do whatever I'm going to do. Do you know why though? He's the best because I have opinions, but I know my opinion is this, he, he, he respects when he hires people, he knows what they can do. Right. When I did that one thing with the Billy Crystal thing that he did with Josh Gag. Yeah. Yeah.

Billy was like, we should rehearse it in Bobby. He, he should do, and then Larry basically go, cause he, I've done, was in the dictator and he, he directed me in curb. He's like, no, he's just going to, he knows what he's doing. That's huge. You're right. And you're just kind of going, and you kind of go, oh, that's fucking awesome. Yeah.

Well, you do, you, you inherently are going to be better than for some reason you're like, oh, well I'm going to be fucking awesome in this scene just because you're not worried about what 50 people have told one person to like try to form a, it's like, so it's like so much information that you're like, ah, fuck, that's when you're by far the worst at whatever you've done is when too much is happening. Also he doesn't look like a director. He looks like a hobo. He looks like, he looks like a road dog.

He looks like someone that lives on the road. Yeah. Like CZ Topps, like guitar, like carrier. It's a road dog. It's a long beard, right? A long beard. Long hair. But the way he talks and the way he dresses and everything about him is like, oh.

It's the same way like Rick Rubin, you know how people like, like, it's like this weird guru that like just, he just like is so unique that you're like, well, he must be fucking good. He's like so, so on his own. Yeah. Yeah. But he was, he was probably one of the, the best and, and I, and I give a lot of props to Troy Miller.

Troy, Troy, Troy was the guy that got me on the reboot of Curb basically. He told her what he was like, you gotta, um, uh, uh, I said, I meant arrested. You said Curb and it got into my head. Yeah. Um, the second season of a rest of this new upping. I did that too. Yeah. Yeah.

And Troy directed my uncommon central pilot. He's the reason that I got over there. And he's another one of those guys. It's really, really good. Yeah. He respects funny people. Yeah. Kind of just like, I've worked with him many times.

Do whatever you want, man. You're funny. Yeah. That's the best way. I know people don't want like listening to show business talk. I think you're wrong. I think they do. Do you do?

I think they don't have a choice and you're going to get married. I'm already, I already did it. I mean, you got congratulations. Thank you very much. Yeah. Thank you very much. She's great. I met her a couple of times.

What I truly have with her is her weight. Oh, my God. She's a heavy, heavy, heavy, heavy woman. Is she pregnant? No, no, no. That's the problem. How long have you been together? How long did you wait before proposing?

I didn't even propose. It was kind of like an unfortunate conversation where she's like, me ching it, married. It was kind of like that. No, I did. Can we do it that way? Well, that's how we've been doing it. You would just tell me, I need, if you don't marry me about this day, then I can't do it. I don't like ultimatums.

I want you to do that. So one day I'm just going to be like, dude, let's just go. And I'll just go, okay, let's do it. Thank you so much for giving me that leeway. Yeah, that's really nice. Because I don't know how to do it. Put in a bottle of water and drink it. Oh, no, I beg you not to propose to me.

I don't think I can take you seriously and it would just be a laugh fest. You just wanted to be, get married. It's just like, let's just get married. I don't even want to get married necessarily. Right. Just one day. Unless you meet the right guy. Correct, correct.

Hey, man. Yeah, it's fair. How long before? Well, we've known each other for a long time and then we dated for a long time. So we, we didn't even talk about marriage. I mean, what we've known each other for eight years. Oh, that's a long time. As a couple or as friends.

Well, no, as a couple, but we went through some, you know, the in and outs of coupleisms, you know, like we had those, we had that stream of like, I think most people do after a long period of time. Actually, we had a conversation about marriage and family and kids and we were kind of both on this weird like, maybe do we? Yeah, do we? I mean, we both were kind of like that about it. I don't know.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah. The only thing we knew we wanted to do was not get, I didn't want a big, I don't like, that stuff drives, that stuff makes me, gives me anxiety. So we fucking went down to Costa Rica with literally our, our family family and we rented this big fucking house and we just partied for like five days. Oh, that's perfect.

Exactly how I want to have a big one. He wants to have a massive wedding and it's, I don't know why or how it's. I'm going to have a big one. You want to have like a, like an Indian wedding where they come in on a horse. Yeah. He wants the horse. He wants the horse. And I'm also going to write down who I invited and who doesn't show up.

Wow. I'm being real. I'm one of those guys. Really? Yeah. I'm one of those guys. If I died, if I died and there's a heaven before I enter the pearly gates, I'm going to go hold up and I would split open some clouds to see who attends the funeral.

Oh my God. And if like Chris Delia was shooting a movie and he decides to shoot the movie, he won't be shooting. I'm just, but I'm going to be one of those guys. I'm going, okay, that guy didn't show up. Like if you didn't like, and I would wait for you to die. And then when you come to die and come to the political, I won't even enter. I'll be there the whole time.

What the fuck? By the way, the way you say pearly gates is so Asian and cute. Yeah, pearly gates. Yeah, pearly gates. Welcome to pearly gates. It's a restaurant. Will you do stand up forever, you think? Yeah, I do.

I unfortunately think so. I think it's just such a fucking curse, but I love it. But it's also, you know, I think, like someone said in some interview I did about the special, some guy was like, what if people only know you as an actor? Does that bother you? And I was like, no, dude, I don't give a shit how you know me. I don't care. If you like what it is, then that's great.

If someone says, I've never seen you stand up, but I love you as an actor. That's not going to bother me. Yeah. But I think I'll never get away from it. I mean, Delia, when we first saw you, I remember the day. Delia was like, let's check this guy out. And we sat and watched you. And we both turned to each other and said, yeah, he's got it.

How old are you when you came from Chicago? You're welcome. Thank you very much. Baby. Yes. I couldn't have said thank you because I was going to answer the question. I interjected. See what he does.

All right. I'm going to say it again. Babe, just hold up for a second. Okay. I love you. Oh, I hate what he does. I know. I hate it.

Are you mansplaining right now? Yes. But stop. But he uses that I love you as a. Shut the fuck up. As a hush hush. Yeah. So I remember the first time.

Go ahead. I remember the first time I saw you, me and Crystalia. And then when you were on, we turned to each other and we said, yeah, that guy's got it. Thank you so much, Bobby. That really means a lot to me. It really feels good. But you know I love you for that. I really do.

Yeah. Bobby was a big proponent of the comedy store taking any sort of liking to me. When did you get passed at this store? How old were you? I got passed what? God, I don't know. Five years ago? Six years ago?

I don't even, I don't really know. There was a vagueness going on at that place at the time because I was coming and going because Tommy was a guy that was still there. So there was a lot of, there was a lot of weird. The store right now is the is the best I've ever seen a comedy club ever, ever, ever, ever. It is creepy. It is almost too good.

So is it extra special that you are in a show that's about the history of the comedy store? It was a lot of pressure. Yeah. It felt fucking super. It felt like the biggest weight was like on my shoulder. I hated that about it. I was so fucking excited.

It was like, it was surreal, but I was also like, it hit me one day I was literally walking to the club because I live in the neighborhood and I had this just disgusting level of anxiety because I was like, oh, fuck, I have to make a show about this place. And what if people fucking hate it? What if it's so fucking bad that everyone's like, oh my God, why would you do that? You know what I mean? Like, yeah, I was so worried about giving it a bad name. And what character do you play from the well, see the beauty of so it's it's based on this

book called I'm dying up here. It's a great book. People should read it and it's based on the book. So when people will be like, it's not like a book. It's like, well, we don't do scenes from the fucking book. Like there's a lot of different stuff and our club on the show isn't the comedy store. We are based on the world of that time period. For many reasons.

But the woman, what's her name? The Academy of Warners. She is Mitzi. She plays Goldie. Goldie. Mitzi, which is Mitzi. Right. I can't say that.

You can. Well, it's because in case I have to work with her, I don't want her. I don't want this to come back. But I'm going to say this, though, is that I'm saying a factual thing. If it's about if it's about if it's about I'm dying up here, yes, which is about the store. Yes. I mean, we're running a fucking club, you let her in, George.

Yeah, that's that's definitely your yes, you're right. It's about how does she get in? Oh, the walker just dropped her off. Oh, really? Yeah. It's about the comedy store. Yeah. Okay.

Yeah. No, no, no, no. No. So let me ask you this. No, no, no, no, no, you're good. But no, no, let me say this. Yeah. So that's fine.

Hey, hey, hey. So the the all the characters are original and they're just like based on so mine is based on quote unquote, Bill Hicks, but that's based, do you know what I mean? Like, I hate saying it because then I know comedy nerds are like my character from Detroit and all this. There are types. Yes, they are. Yeah.

Yeah, of course. Eric Griffin's playing Marshall Warfield. Yeah, just a big fat black guy. Woman, I mean, woman. Yeah. She's fine. No, he's over here. We got to get into one day Eric Griffin's dating life, but you know, he's got to get

a girlfriend soon. I think, you know, he's on the apps. He's on all the apps. He's on the apps. He's on all the apps. I he's because I can't I cannot because I've known for 10 years. He's got to get a girlfriend just so that I lock it down. Yeah, he's a lock it down because he's right now he's playing Morrissey and I can't do

it. You know, well, what was Jim Carrey like though? If you've heard, if you don't know, I'm dying up here is produced by Jim Carrey. Yes, if you if you know that phrase when someone says, don't meet your heroes because they'll let you down. Yeah. You know that phrase? Yeah.

It's the exact opposite with him. Cool. And I mean that wholeheartedly. It was the first person that I met when I when I that I grew up like admiring to a level of like, you know, creepiness. Yeah. You I emulated him in every way. And then when I met him, it was like he lived up to all the things that I had kind of hoped.

Yeah. Yeah. He was nice, sweet, smart. He was kind and very fucking, very fucking funny, like unapologetically funny and he's not doing it to put on a show. Do you know what I mean? Like he's I never once that I feel like Jim was like trying to do it for the crowd. You know what I mean?

No, no, dude. He was just his way of thinking is inherently unique and funny and he was the shit, man. I think he's, you know, I think he's the best and he contributed so many stories to the show, which is why I think it's a special show. Like, a lot of the stories on the show that you watch are his real life, dude, like two characters live in a closet in the pilot. He lived in a closet. What's Hollywood?

Yeah. Yeah. You know, like all these like little weird stories. I don't want to give away any of the storylines, but there's a lot of bullshit that happens in the show that if it seems like a pretty unique thing, it's probably from him. If you watch a show and you're like, did that really happen? I bet you it's his storyline that he had. But see, he comes from the 80s, right?

The late 80s. Where? The late 70s. Yeah. Yeah, late 70s. But he was there during the 80s also, right? And that was the first real heyday at the comedy store, right? So then, you know, he would go up like with Damon Waynes and all those guys at the end

of the night and everyone was there. Like the lineups were stacked and it was a magical place to be. And then when I started in the 90s, it completely died. Everyone on the lineup is people that will never say on TV and it was terrible. I feel like now, just by being a part of those lineups and stuff, I mean, I've got I'm back on shows because I feel like I'm reaping the benefits generally of what the comedy store is fortunate. Really.

Yeah. It's like the waiting game, though. You know what I mean? Like your talent never went away. You were always just as talented. Yeah. If not more talented now. You're welcome.

And and and yes, it is a it's a it's a cyclical thing. A cyclical thing. Because if it's come back, people that are talented are getting recognized more because of that place. Right. But for years, there's guys that were super talented that the industry didn't give a fuck about. It's also because, dude, I mean, and I don't I hope this isn't true, but I hope this big

bubble doesn't pop. But comedy bubble is so big right now. Like everyone is like sucking comedy off like every there's a special every week. It's like it's it's it's I don't know if it's too much. A little saturated. It's a lot. Yeah. I mean, we're definitely getting some comeuppance, but it's it's a shitload.

But you know what, dude, all those things that are hot, not I've been in it for over 20 years. No, it's way more than 20. But I've had years of just nothingness and I just, you know, the real goal is not to quit. I'm just going to stay in it. And if it happens, you know, I mean, you just got to I want to stay in the water. But when you say it happens, it already happened.

Don't you think it's no, it's not happened for me. It's happening. It hasn't happened for me. It's happening continually. It may or may not, but I think about it from a perspective of someone who wants to even try to do comedy. I understand that. But I understand.

But see, that argument never sits well with me because I've made choices and I know my abilities. It doesn't. Okay. Let's put it like this for real. You're not doing stand up right now in this day and age. You alternate you and another person. Yeah.

What are you doing? Dead. Dead. Probably. Okay. So it's not happening? Yeah. I know.

I know. Stop. What you're saying now with that argument is, is that I was just walking down the street. Yeah. And somebody came up to me and said, Hey, I'm Mr. Hollywood. You want to be on shows? Steve Hollywood or Dave Hollywood? Dave.

Dave. I fucking hate Steve. Yeah. Steve's such a dick. Yeah. Yeah. He's a dick. He's too Jewish for me.

But no, no, no. What I'm. No. No. No. No. No. I'm grateful for what you have.

You're killing it. I'm not saying that. I'm just, no. What are you saying then? What I'm saying is I know that I wouldn't be in a position in my life that I'm at right now, which I feel very grateful for if I was not doing stand up. Right. Okay.

So I would be miserable. Of course. And you did everything you want. You did. But I'm just saying you've already made it because you're making a life doing exactly what you were supposed to do. You were born to be an entertainer. Right.

Okay. Yeah. I guess you went. It always straddles the line between ingratitude or humility. I can never quite tell with them. I think it comes more from the humility side of it though, where it's like. It's guilt. It's like this.

It's like a guilt you have. It's a guilt. It's guilt. Yeah. Look at the way you live and look at the things that you have and not not not not not monetary. I'm talking about. Look at the life that you have.

I'm just saying. Do you think you would have this life if you didn't do what you did? I'm going to show you something right now and I'll tell you why. You would be making noodles in some little shop somewhere. You know what? Peri-gakes. Peri-gakes. Yeah.

Yeah. Welcome to Peri-gakes Noodle. Yeah. You would be making noodles soup. No. All I'm saying is I think when someone says to me here, you know why I think like this Bobby for real. Yeah.

Yeah. When someone back home from Chicago, when like a not a friend, but like someone with a high school with or something and they run into me somewhere and they're like, dude, I fucking hope you make it, dude. That reminds me that it's like, I've already fucking. I pay my life. I pay my life by doing the thing that I like. Right.

Dude, I made it when I fucking, I'll tell you when I made it, quote unquote, in my brain is the day that I quit my fucking day job. I'll never forget, dude. I cried and laughed and I was like manic. Where were you? I was in an office on Wilshire Boulevard working for this music company like a fucking like a desk bitch. You know, I was a desk bitch.

Yeah. And I got the phone call that I booked this like hosty job that I knew was just enough money for one year to make, to let me quit, you know, and it was guaranteed year. And a woman called me to tell me I booked the thing and I'm not, I'm not exaggerating. I threw the phone, I threw the phone and I ran down the stairwell. It was like eight four. Well those old time. Yeah.

I ran down. I ran on the stairwell and I'm not, I'm not exaggerating on Wilshire across from like where the E building is or whatever by the tarpits. I ran all the way down to Highland. I ran. I ran as far as I could. I just kept running because I was like laughing and it was like, it was so exciting. I was like, I quit.

I get to quit. I get to fucking quit this bullshit. It was so good to me. Wow. And I walked right back. You're right, Andrew. I know. All right.

But I'm going to say you why you're wrong. Okay. After that story. Yeah. Because I went to high school in Poway High School. Yeah. I know. Yeah.

Poway High. And on Facebook, someone said, someone got inducted into their Hall of Fame. Oh my. Fuck. Just listen to what the fuck I'm saying. Yes. Okay. And I'm not in it in the Hall of Fame.

You want to be in the Poway Hall of Fame? You know who's in it? Who? I'll show you who. Matthew Fye. Who's that? What has he done? I don't know.

No. He's a doctor and he's also a violinist. Oh, Matthew Fye. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. David Godel. David Godel.

He's a golf goof-off. Golf goof-off? Golf goof-off. I know. He's, he made science and business. Is he part of the golf goof-off coalition? My point is that I have not made it until I'm in this Hall of Fame. Look at me.

Look at me. Yeah. Look at me. Yeah. Okay. But you know what he did? I stand by my point. What did I do?

Do you know what he did? You know what this fucking asshole did? What? I took a picture of him. Contacted the high school? No. So some guy, somebody had written what, no Bobby Lee so and so and like tagged him in it, right?

True. So some guy then, oh yeah, what about Hector Maldonado? Who the fuck is Hector Maldonado? He's a guitarist for some reason. That kid was always a sweetheart and a talented player. And then Hector Maldonado writes, thanks Nora, kind of you to say, Bobby wanted to reply to the whole post. Yeah.

But I get it. I reply to that line. To Hector Maldonado and say, what the fuck? I go, what the fuck? And then he reads it back to me and he goes, oh God, I put it on the wrong slot. How do you delete it? So he's giving me that phone. Yeah, we're scrambling.

We're waiting. Did Maldi ever find out? I don't know. I think we was on and not long enough. That's five minutes, five minutes. On for five minutes. Oh my God. Well, here's it now.

He's going to hear it now. I don't care now because now he knows it was a mistake. That's right. I'm not saying Hector Maldonado. I don't know if I've heard of you. I'm sure you're famous. Great guitarist. I was on a national TV show for eight years and I'm also on a national TV show.

I think this is better. But it's fine. I've been in a bunch of movies but it's fine. I'm sure you're great. Also plays the piano. You also play the piano. So I can do what you do but I do playing the guitar is not a credit. You know who plays a guitar?

The guys in college. It's not a credit. But anyway, I'm sure you're great but I was saying Poway hurts. It hurts me. But I may never get in it. But that's my goal. Now we end our shows. What time were we at now?

Over an hour. Yeah. Because he's so good. Why would we end this? We have to end it. Oh, you do? Another guy who didn't make it to the Poway Hall of Famous Tom DeLong from Blink 182. Oh yeah, Tom did.

That guy's not on there? No. Then how can you feel bad about not being on there? I know. That's what I'm saying. I'm making a case. You're proving my point. For me and Tom DeLong.

Which is you're doing it. Right. And Stephanie Seymour. I think she should be on it too. Totally. Stephanie Seymour like GNR? The supermodel? Yeah.

Oh, God, I love her. I went to high school. You know why I'll never be on mine? You know why I'll never be on mine? Why? Because I'm not anybody right now. But I'll never be on it because everyone that's on it is a world-class athlete. I went to school with like nine pro football players, two Olympians.

They would fucking never put me on it. Yeah, they would. No. Amazing athletes and then goofball? No. No. Goofball doesn't land on that list. Stop.

No. Stop. Okay. Pro athletes. People that played in the Super Bowl. I don't give a fuck. Because let me say this. All right.

What? That's eight years of a career in pro athlete life. Yeah. Ten years maybe. Yeah. Most of them don't win big trophies. Skit. Skit.

Skit. You guys know who Darryl Strawberry is? Yes. Of course. His son went to my high school. That's not. That's all they saving grade. Did he also love cocaine?

Like his father? No. He was a good athlete but not in baseball and basketball. See, yeah. Well, because he was really tall. Right? Yeah. That's like, imagine what?

Rihanna is from Barbados, right? Yeah. Or like Turkey. Barbados. Barbados. Yeah. Imagine that high school. How annoying that is.

The hottest girl in the world went to your high school. Yeah. No one is on that Hall of Fame and no one will ever get on it for her. Yeah. Well, she might even get it if it's like Power High. That's true. That's true. If Poway high holds true to their bullshit fucking standards But do you know why they they're not gonna ever nominate me because I know I graduated from that school four years, but the reason why is because all these guys are

Outstanding in their community. They're good guys. What do you mean? You're a fucking guy I know but in high school. I went to three rehab that got kicked out twice So but I still graduated from there. I came back and I did it But I don't think that I'm the kind of image they want to put out there either even Tom the long So I think that that's the reason why all these guys are shirt tuckers. Maybe both of you guys didn't actually graduate I think I have a way higher in my fucking case over here. Did you have an empty diploma? I had no I have it right here I fucking bitch. Oh you had to go. Whoa Bitch bitch bitch. I got a fucking I've got a fucking diploma in my fucking

But in your graduation you hadn't actually graduated. Yeah, I fucking walked the line, bitch And you got an empty diploma, right? Yes, pop and circus dance. Okay. Here's what happened It's probably high like a is that is it a is it a notable school? Yeah, say it like every wrestling. I think we're like big and wrestling See first why you want to be in the wrestling schools. Yeah, I was on the team, but my you were yeah Oh, yeah, why would I do I was on the fucking tennis team, too Why won't I tell so with you are you so weak and malleable because you're awake different weight class and also you're 20 years Junker than I am. It's I think it's like a man thing more than anything You know, you know, all all the things all the things funny. That's funny to you. Hey fucking nutnut. Hey, no

Yeah, do you know what it is? What is it me a man? Yeah versus At the end of the fucking show we do a email and they ask a question we answer. Oh, okay Are you doing an Eric Griffin? On the billboard. Okay. What is it? I do what what is it on helpful advice on helpful advice? They they email us on helpful advice with Bobby Kalilah and Eli from crafty in All right, hi guys I eat clean for most of the week But always have a day where I eat over 3,000 calories of junk food. Who cares? It's a never It's a never-ending cycle of either under eating or overeating. I suffer from depression and OCD

Welcome to fucking life The only time I feel good is when I eat. This is not how I want to live anymore. I'm around 123 pounds at five three if the guilt is too much. I make myself throw up or work out like crazy Help me Andrew Santino. Why are you reading that? So I have to give real advice to this human being first of all unhelpful ones unhelpful Yeah, that's a real person or you made that please tell me you made that up real person real person We get serious. He is okay. He's a hundred and twenty three pounds and he thinks he's fat. Mm-hmm. He's five three Mm-hmm. I'm five four. I'm 170. He thinks he's perfectly average. Wait a minute five four. Yeah

What with lifts By three and a half just once I want to take you to like I want to take it a six flag so we you can't get on some No, it's not even that it won't even be the height it'll be your belly won't be able to close the fucking thing that comes over the thing Does this all hurt? I can't I can't say anything mean doesn't really hurt I can't say mean this you're helpful or helpful advice. That's fine. I mean This is that's funny about bullshit. It's a guy. I didn't specify Can I tell you why I can't be mean because this is kind of heartbreaking? I can't be fucking mean I Can't be mean as someone that has like something listen if it was just the depression you should have stopped there because that I can

But someone has a real eating disorder that that's not that's like fucking that's great That's like deadly. I don't know what to say besides like you need to get fucking honest serious help and also know that But to the depression thing I can answer that everyone is depressed everyone at some level has a level of depression I don't believe that everyone is anyone's void of it. You have levels of happiness and sadness I would say read a book called some that's a that's a piece of advice What's a book on what some SUM? It's a good. It's amazing some gives you 40 different scenarios of what the afterlife might be like gives you perspective on the now you believe in God I believe in I don't believe a person exists in the sky. No, I think that's do you believe the Lord does

That's a person as well. And no, I don't think it's a man who wears sandals. Okay, I think No, I don't believe I don't believe in a person. I believe that you I Believe that the fucking universe is all right. We had Andrew Santino. That was amazing I Believe that I believe if there is a God, it's a tiny little Asian baby And and you get to kiss it on the nose Then you burn in hell forever after that That's it. I

Have to read this one more since we missed Memorial Day and Veterans Day and we never pay homage to the troops. I have to read this because I'm obligated to Hey, this is from Grayson surges Hey tiger belly first. Let me just Oh It's truly anyways, my name is Grayson and my lovely fiancee's name is Mariana and we're both 26 years old from Savannah, Georgia Unfortunately, I'm currently serving in Iraq and Syria and will be for the next few months still haven't missed an episode by the way So obviously that is difficult for Mariana with a staunch time difference and taxing mission requirements

It has been hard for me to make her days as special as she deserves. I was hoping y'all could keep you y'all could help me with that Would y'all please give her a shout out on the podcast telling her that I love her and that I can't wait to be home with her Oh, shit, that would be amazing. Hey, thanks for all you do love Grayson. So everybody. Thank you. Thank you, Mariana Mariana Yeah, Mariana's his fiancee and his name is Grayson Mariana Bobby Lee here slap king killing the game My point is this is that what's his name Grayson Grayson and Mariana Mariana Grayson loves you very much and He will be home one day and he will be with you, but he's with you now in spirit because his love is

otherworldly It's based on science and Mariana. That's coming from a guy who isn't in the Poway High School Hall of Fame So But Mariana seriously He loves you very much. It was really sweet. You know what that's that's fucking that was the coolest way that could have happened You know when someone asks for something right and it's like too much and you're like what what do you want? That was like a just a nice like hey Can you give a shout out? I miss the person that I love very much because I'm overdoing the thing that fucking

People like Andrew Santino would never could never fucking do you are probably one of the most Intrinsically funny guys I've ever met. You're very funny. You're a nice guy and I'm just so glad you did our podcast You were amazing. I'm so happy because I want to come on here so bad because I love you Well, that's why I was supposed to do it, but we changed for you. You're pretty too. Yes, man. Yeah, but you're great And can you plug me real fast? Yeah, what do you need and watch just watch just watch showtimes? I'm dying up here and my specials on there called home field advantage Okay, watch home field advantage and you Santino showtime. Yep. What's the TV show? I'm dying up here with Andrew my friend Al Magigal and bat back fat black

Sunday's Sunday's at 10 p.m. Yeah, watch my special on the streaming app and all that stuff How many episodes one and two have been one and two are out right now? Okay, yeah, you can watch one and two my shirts off in two Bobby His shirts off. I'm half naked and all really now your phone, but um, yeah, but you don't have a you don't have a podcast Do you I don't I don't because I'm not I'm not I would never be good at it You would know I mean, I don't know how to I don't know how to like where do you where did you dig up these guys? I don't know where you make your studio. He's my producer. That's amazing, but like I don't even know how to yeah

Okay, well, that's fine George produces show if you ever if you ever want to do one he'll George can help you I would love that, but um, thank you so much. You were amazing and everyone's gonna watch your show and That's great, dude. Thank you so much. Give him a round of applause everybody We'll be rack with the cleaning the house. Yeah, and we're back with some house cleaning Really quick. I just want to thank everyone who's sending emails. There are so many emails Uh regarding George's uh devil breath situation. So thank you for sending all the video. Okay, so the consensus amongst all of us If you guys didn't already watch there's a there's a vice documentary about the most dangerous drug on earth, which is um um, scapola mean

Aka burundanga or aka the devil's breath and it's used heavily in criminal activity in colombia to basically rob People now. I wasn't familiar. I am familiar with scapola mean in very very minute amounts because they give it to people as Transdermal patches behind the ear for nausea or not for nausea for like um, because my stepdad uses it for a motion sickness Um, but I didn't know that in larger amounts. They use it as that now I'm trying to figure out like maybe it was my was it somehow in my first drink I mean, it's very easy. So in in the documentary they said it's as easy as As someone coming up to you're even smelling it is enough or even blowing it like that in someone's face Yeah, because could it have been if it wasn't my first drink that makes a lot more sense why I was so gullible later on

I mean, that's an easy way to give myself an out what scares me the most is that Per the documentary. This is a very deadly drug. You could have easily died given a little bit more Yeah, you know and I I mean imagine if we had never heard from you again, george And this is why I have to yell at you like a mother right now That's why I haven't told my mom. I don't want to get yelled at I'm gonna send her I'm gonna send her the episode He has heard of this drug before going to columbia. He was aware, but then he said oh, that's just hyped up news Oh, yeah, that's just vice hyping things up. I'm sure he's because that's what vice does they hype up the news

Please vice they make things exciting There's you know, they're as neutral as we can get but they talk about exciting things. It's it's cool It's cool news. It's cool news. Well, you got boron dangad. Okay. Yeah, I love that's a verb Boron dangad. Yeah, and he woke up his own piss. So guys if you're traveling back Jack, he came to South America. If you're going to columbia guys, take a second pair of pants That's uh, that's all I gotta tell you But it this isn't even something that people use recreationally. It's just not even a fun drug to use just for this purpose Yeah, it's just for criminal activity and for transdermal patches. I guess so george

Uh, you're never allowed to travel alone again ever It's been decided and you're not allowed to hang out with aspiring rappers or djs ever again ever again named Javier Yeah, but thank you everybody who emailed us and so many videos so many comments that, um, george, um, was a fool And but he will never do it again and he promises but he's a handsome fool very handsome fool Yeah, at least you got attention from some columbian girls in the beginning of your trip For javier to see you and he pissed on you Uh, mma minute with colloco. Let's do a quick one. Uh, really quick the past ufc 2 13. Is that correct? Yeah, 2 13 with uh 2 12. Oh 2 12. Yeah with, uh, josé aldo and max blessed halloween. Also, um, carolina, um,

I can never say They say koal kavich and it's not that's that's how like annik says it kk carolina. It was carolina versus claudia gadelia Yeah, and um, what other fights were there? There was eric silva against yancy maderos. Yes maderos. That was a really good one And um, I mean that's the main your thoughts on it. Which one? Uh, well first of all main card main card, uh featherweight, uh title Two featherweight titles on the line for to unify it I was pulling for max the whole time. Uh, even though I felt like damn

José he's in hometown He has all just so many people supporting him. He feeds off that he loves that whole real crowd But that's also a lot of pressure a lot of pressure But a lot of pressure to have to perform in your home crowd and not disappoint them and he had such a Thundering loss against connor mcgregor that you kind of want to you know You want to avenge that loss so badly, especially in front of your home crowd and get that belt back And that didn't happen for him because max is young max's fears and max cannot be stopped right now Yeah, and he's just a good, you know, he's a good kid and bobby was rooting for josé aldo

And in the sense I was too because you don't want to see a champion go down like that in his hometown But also I would say that's the best he looked physically Oh, no, it was a great fight and then also just his technique never seen José sharp or ever It was like even when he was younger, he wasn't that sharp. He's still lost and he's still lost. Look, he's still But he's only 30 He's only 30 still, but he's balding like he's 50 I was like, hey, man, you balding I still think he's uh, I still think he's in tip-top shape. He looked like he was in his prime very much

And um, I would love even to see a rematch down the road because that was a very exciting fight And you know, it just so happened that he got caught I mean he he had that first round for sure Second max, you know picked up some steam Yeah, even when he was taunting at the end of the second round max. I was like, oh, shit. José's gonna knock him out But then third max just took it to another level confidence. Yeah, but max is also not a newbie in the game He's been fighting since he was like 17 years old 17 ufc first fight with dustin poye Yeah, four fights in his career. Yeah, so he's got those nerves out the way and um, I would have been happy with whatever outcome

I'm just glad it wasn't like a 13 second knockout because I hate those types of fights And then uh, comain event. Um, comain was carolina versus claudia and um It was kind of a bummer I wanted to see a longer. Um, I wanted to see five rounds of Um stand-up exchange because those girls can really bang It's even claudia too, which was surprising even when you remember when when carolina fought, um Um, yawana a kickboxing man that girl doesn't bleed that girl doesn't bleed. She doesn't win There's like she's almost just she smiles the whole time

So I was really looking forward to just watching them go at it on their feet for a long time But carolina made a mistake and she got submitted And it was a bummer because the fight was short and you we didn't get to really see the full, you know set of skills that both those girls have except I mean, but to be fair claudia submitted her That was a very good and butter. She got her down. Yeah, and claudia looked so good. Her she switched camps Yeah, she got good with her cardio She's starting to play by the rules of a real MMA fighter and she's not resisting that change and that's really really good for improvement I would love anybody. Yeah, I would love more fights before yawana

I'd love to see the every man. Yeah, not now not now because yawana will probably fight rose, right? And it would be a girl like carolina should probably take after yawana and probably not change camp, but only poland But look look at yawana. She trains with the fucking best wrestling coach in the country So you just got to tweak it where you need to because that's the only way you're going to improve You can't stay in one camp forever and think you're gonna stay champion forever. That's your connor. I don't know Yeah, but he's still getting tips from so many different camps like he trains in different You know, so it's my take on it. Love both those girls great card really funny card Oh really quick before we go, uh, did you see wonder woman? I did. Oh, we can't talk about it until next week

I just watched the night cried twice. You had the opening scene and then cindy punched me. He said calm the fuck down I'm like, oh Because you're a girl at heart on petunia Not hit ball. It's uh, what's her name? I forget her petunia. I don't um, um, claire underwood click. Yeah, robert We're gonna talk about that next week. So bobby can chime in on that If um, if you guys live in seattle bobby and I will be there this weekend Uh, that's the eighth through the tenth, right? Mm-hmm, right. So that's something like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah eight through the tenth. Um, go to bobbyleelive.com

And look for other tour dates. He will also be in charlotte, north carolina Two weeks from now Cool and uh, make sure you follow us on instagram at tigerbelly on twitter at that tigerbelly and email us any questions You may have uh for whatever or unhelpful advice at the tigerbelly at gmail.com If you want your question to get picked the best way to do it is do a smaller explanation And I get to the question and you should those get picked. Um George, where can we follow you? Uh, george underscore kimmel on instagram and you can follow claul at all social media at calamity k

That's kha la mit y blue April it's our favorite kind of food in the world Oh wait, I didn't oh hey you had we had the harmony man. No, you did. I got lost Oh Hey prime members you can listen to tigerbelly ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today Or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast

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