TigerBelly - Episode 95: Bob Bunyan and the Nest of Bees

Episode Date: June 14, 2017

Bobo chops logs. Khaloko wants the booty. Gilbo is JoJo. We talk Wonder Woman, cosmetic stubble, and a Dream Powder Contest.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on Wondery Plus. Alright, alright. Alright! Alright, alright! Alright! Alright, alright! Welcome, welcome. Alright, alright.

Welcome to the podcast. Yo man. I'm good. Bobby Lee in the house. Slap king. Slap king. And we got Kalyla. We got Gilbert.

We got... Fuck George. I appreciate ya. I appreciate your work ethic. I appreciate your attitude and your commitment to the Tiger Barely cause. And I don't say things to you. I don't say good things to you. I'm always mean to you.

And I want to say I appreciate ya. Thank you. Knock, knock. Who's there? Alright, alright. Alright. And Gilbert, let me say something to you. And I appreciate ya.

I do. Ready for a knock, knock? I appreciate ya. Thanks. Alright? Knock, knock. Who's there? Jungle Gook.

Oh. No? Alright. Alright. I shouldn't have said that. Delete the Jungle Gook part. Oh, it's so good. Alright, sorry.

And Kalyla, I appreciate ya. Oof. And we went to Seattle. No knock, knock? No, you don't get one. We went to Seattle this weekend together. And I was looking at houses up there, guys. Oh.

Ooh. Because, oh, what was that? That was... Something came out. Meat. It was pretty meaty, yeah. How did you know? What did you eat today?

I could hear the meat coming out. Oh, was there meat coming out? Yeah, yeah. That was roast beef for sure. But we went up there and there's something about the weather that reminds me of Korea. It's like dim and cold and brisk and sad and I love it. And in a different life, I think I would buy a house there and live there. What about this life?

I can't. Why? Because I just have too much. LA, I mean, there's just too much here. No, like a vacation home. Yeah, but let me get a regular home here first. You know, I'll do a vacation home when I can afford a vacation home. Yeah.

I can't even afford a regular home right now. But when we, when we get that money to get a vacation home, I'll be, I'll consider it. You know, it's really nice up there and we had a good time. Khalil and I, I love the people out there too. The Tiger Belly fans out there came out and you guys are just so nice and just dirty ethnics and I love it. And dirty whites, dirty whites came out and also regular white people. I like them too.

Like all of them. It was fun. I lost my voice a little bit. But you guys think about the whole Bill Maher getting called out by Ice Cube. Oh, that. I don't, I don't, I mean, listen, he said it in a joking matter. Who Bill Maher did. Yeah, Bill Maher did.

In the context of it. In the context of it. He, he's obviously a racist and I feel like, I don't think he said the R at the end of it. He did. He said, I'm not your house and word. Hard R. Hard R.

He went, ah. You know, it's a hard R. He went, oh. When you say house before it is not a. Yeah. You don't say, yeah. You don't say soft AS. Well, listen, listen, listen.

Okay. I've been thinking about that. I've also been thinking about what's her name. The redhead. I've been to her house. What's her name? The redhead. With the severed head.

Oh, Kathy Griffin. Oh, Kathy Griffin. You know, these are comedians. Okay. And they're, they, they pushed the envelope. I think Kathy Griffin went far. I don't know if it was too far, but she's a comedian and you have to take risks and that's my opinion on it.

President goes too far. He's the last one to fucking complain. Right. I think once the president goes, I think it's okay that as a celebrity, you can grab a woman's pussy. Yeah. All the things that he said, all the things that he said that you should take Kathy Griffin is now allowed to take a photo shoot like that.

You know, so I feel like Bill Maher, if he said it all the time, that'd be weird. And I think that that would be like, whoa, you're saying it too much. But he said it once in his whole career, I think. Yeah. Well, that's not really the issue. Like Ice Cube wasn't saying that Bill Maher's erases. That's not what he was implying. It was more like the, the comfortability of saying the word so quickly, you know, it's,

it was more like when you're, you get too familiar. He was saying like, oh, you know, just because you dated a few black women, now you get the hood pass, you don't get the hood pass, you know, that word has been used against us for all these years. It's our word. So I don't think, I thought it was everyone, like all the media outlets are hyping it out to be that Bill Maher just got like, you know, told, but it was a really healthy discussion and Bill Maher just apologized and I, I liked listening to it.

My only thing about it is I know that Ice Cube is now a family man. He's got a great image now, but this is a, this is a dude who has like through his entire career used misogynistic lyrics and is also called Koreans in his songs, like Penny Pinching motherfuckers or like he's always alluded to, you know, Koreans being a certain way, right? So my thing is everyone makes mistakes in their career and it's all kind of sort of like a learning experience. And as long as there's always an open discussion about it, then he also does kids Disney movies. I know, but after now he does, I'm just saying, right, this dude right here, defending the

N word, that's cool, right, but you're also a sell out. Why? Cause he's making money? No, I, it's fine to make money. Yeah. Okay. But it's like, you don't no longer get like, you're not a representative of the hood once you do.

What's the move? What's, what's, keep me some of his movies like. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Right along. Kevin Hart? No, that's fine because he's done things that were like really suspect. Oh, like, oh, you needed to make money.

There was a stupid. I can't really knock anyone's like career choices. Yeah, but she's some NWA, right? Yeah. So my point is, is that, you know, if, you know, who's a guy that's like still really straight and that's. A lot. No, like somebody that like has maintained that's maintained that I don't know, like

too short. E 40. E 40. DMC maybe. Um, DMX. I don't know what you mean by, by still street. He's urban Bobby. He's trying to say his urban.

No, no, no, no, maybe we're a little way, little way, little way didn't exist in the 90s. What are you saying? I did a song called Lollipop. So no, because even Dr. Dran, nobody is still like snoops, not nobody is just a fucking word. Yeah. Yeah.

It's like me saying you're not allowed to see Gooke, white people. Go ahead. You're not. You're not. Gooke. I don't like the way you said it. I don't like the way you said it. What?

No, white people aren't allowed to say. You're not allowed. You're right. That was a test. That was a test. You know what? You know what? You're right.

Let's try it again. I scoop is right. I scoop is right. Bill Maher shouldn't have said it. Yeah. No one says at the end word when you're white. You don't say. Let's try it again.

Let's try it again. No. All right. Go. Say it again, George. Okay. Let's say suppose I am a Korean mafia guy. I'm a drug business together.

And you try to be, you're trying to be like, you're trying to get in with me. So say like, so go ahead. What's up, George? Yo, what's up? Oh. That was uncomfortable too. That wasn't even. You didn't even do it.

You didn't even say it was uncomfortable. Yeah. Do it again. Hi. What's up? Hi, y'all. What's up? I think white people just can't talk is what I'm getting from this.

No, it's just that you're so white the way you talk, but you are from this country. Just say the word. So I just say, what's up, George? Hey, Bobby. Gooke. No, just say it in a way like. First of all, no sentence structure. There was no sentence structure.

I mean, no grammar. Well, there's no context. I would use it. What's up, Bobby? Gooke. Fuck. Is that your last name? Is that your name?

Gooke. I mean, say, give him a line, Gilbert. I'd be like, eh, what's up, my Gooke brother? Yeah, there we go. Oh, what's up, my Gooke friend? Oh, friend. That's okay. It's okay.

Better. Better. Way better. But you know what? You're right. White people, Bill Maher, you're not allowed to say the n-word. Cannot. You're not allowed to say the g-word.

Yeah. In Ice Cube, I don't even know what I was talking about. You can sell out and you're part of streets. It's fine. Also, George went to Ivy League school. Yeah. Yeah. For, like, not undergrad though.

Sorry, George. Yeah, it doesn't count. It doesn't count. I was uncomfortable. That was uncomfortable. Yeah. Another thing I've been doing, guys, is I've been, I don't know why, but I just discovered a new show on YouTube.

It's called... Why are you laughing, Clara? Because it's not... It's like the oldest show in existence. But I just... I didn't know what it was. What is it? I didn't know what any of it was, because I'm old and I don't know what it is.

Okay? And then I discovered things on YouTube and I think it's new. Just both these two shows, America and British Got Talent. Get out of here. I love it. You just learned that? Yeah. You know what he also just learned?

I know why you... And I know why you love it. You know what he also just learned? What? He... The other day, he... He's like, babe, I found this really, like, new hot song. It's really, really good.

I think you're really gonna like it. And it's fucking Natalie and Brunia. Sing it. Nothing's right. I'm torn. I'm a lot of faith. Never heard the song before. I've actually never heard that.

I've never heard... I've never heard it. Yeah, I've never heard it. Oh, God. See, and that's why you and I are gonna die together. That's why I'm gonna know you for the rest of my life. I also didn't know how to sing it. Because right there, that was legit what you just did.

And I know you've heard it before, but you just wanted to lie to defend me. Okay, tell us about America's Got Talent. Because you're my... Stop for a second. You're my good brother. That's right. You're my good brother. Yo, man.

You're my good brother. And you want to say to you? Yeah. All right, all right. All right. You know how my mom says Matthew McConaughey? No, I didn't say her one day. You just ask her.

All right. All right. No, Machu McConaughey. Oh. That's so fancy to Native American. Darling, darling. He's really good in that Lincoln lawyer, the Machu... Machu McConaughey.

Machu McConaughey. Yeah. Wait, we didn't talk about this. He's American. What? You shared a ride with Mr.... We did. No.

Because remember, we talked about it at the restaurant, but we had a... We never talked about him on the podcast? We never talked about. Yeah. Oh, so when I was in Cleveland... Celebrity played. I was sitting there. I remember when I was on the way over to Cleveland, I got like coach and I just felt like, just

listen, hear me out. I always fly coach. I always do. But for once I went, you know what? I got some things going on. Remember when I did... Remember I did... Why are you laughing, George?

Remember I did the oddball comedy, Totor? Texas. And I showed up at the airport and because we were all supposed to buy our own ticket. And Dane Cook, Tom Segura, Sebastian Monoscalco and Ollie Wong, they all had first class tickets. And I chose coach because my agents, my managers, can I say it? No. Yes. They're great.

They're great, but she's Jewish. So she's... Oh, sweetie. It's fine. She's economical. She's saved money. So when I did that, I was like, this is embarrassing because I had to walk past them when they were in first class.

So on the way back, I go, you know what? I called Abby. I go, just give me a fucking first class ticket on the way home. So she did it. So I'm sitting there and Matthew McConaughey, his wife and his two kids came on board and they sat directly at the back of me. And I was, I tried to stare at Matthew to see if he would look at me because maybe he, but he didn't look at me.

It's fine. But you know, can I say something? And I really mean this is not a joke. For the first time, I knew that this plane was going to make it to LAX. Why? Because I believe that when a pilot knows there's an A-list superstar on the plane, he tries harder. Oh, hammy.

Why? For that kiss landing? Yeah. Like he literally like... Was the landing good? Amazing. Smooth. Like there was no bumps.

There was no turbulence. Yeah. Through the whole flight. There wasn't. I thought it was a VR simulator. Yeah. He went like a different direction. God also was like, okay, don't give him any bad weather.

Yeah. I mean, literally you feel like he's drinking extra coffee. He feels dozing. No, no, no, Matthew. No autopilot. He just has to. Yeah. He just does the whole thing the whole way.

And I felt like that. So I'm imagining being on a flight with like a president or an ex-president or, you know, someone even bigger. So you're saying Barack Obama has never felt turbulence in his life? Nope. You know what someone tweeted at you when you tweeted about Matthew McConaughey sitting? What? He said that, well, if the plane crashes, you'll only be a footnote in the news reports.

And it's true because everyone's going to be like Matthew McConaughey and then like down all the way, like on the fifth paragraph, they're like, also then Bobby Lee. Sweetie. I'm just saying, it was a tweet, it was a tweet, it wasn't me. I know, I know. It's funny. It's funny. It's funny.

It's funny. It's funny. But you're probably right. You're probably right. I'm just stating, wouldn't you want to be like in a plane crash where you're like the first name? Right. What about this?

You know what he didn't be worse? What? If he's not on the flight and the plane crashes and I'm not mentioned at all, right? Because let me say something right now. Let me say something right now. And it goes back to my Poway High School Hall of Fame that connects back that some people don't necessarily think that I deserve anything. And if I died, some people would be like, oh, fuck that guy.

Like Poway High School did. My high school, they put all these fucking guys on the fucking Hall of Fame. A teacher, granted, it's a noble job. I'm sure she's saved a lot of lives. But I'm the Slap King of Bobby Lee, you know, and the Slap King, Slap King get no love. That's all I'm saying. What's the nomination process down there? I want to get an in at Poway High School and have them nominate Urban Bobby.

I want them to nominate Urban Bobby at some formal high school meeting. Yeah, but you know what? You should just call the high school and be like, hey. If you go to Wikipedia, if you go to Wikipedia and you say, Poway High School alum, I'm in the top thing. Okay, that's good enough. No, I wouldn't be in the building. Do you really want to go to the building and have an hour ceremony for you?

I wouldn't show up. Oh. Out of spite, though. If someone has to sneak a framed photo of you in the building, don't break it. If somebody does that, let me say something. If somebody does that, which will be like, you could get arrested, but that would be, your gift would be this. Every night for a week, we go to the steam room together and we have dinner.

You keep trying to bait people into the steam room with you. Already people on Ruzzle when I'm playing are going, can I be on the list to go to the steam room? People have been emailing us like crazy. How do we, how does that work? Everyone wants to go to the steam room with me, bitch. No, I don't doubt that. I just, number one, if you want to go to the steam room with me, you can't be sexual

about it because I'm, are you going to see my dick? Yeah. Okay. You're going to be attracted to it. 100%. 100%. Right. Yeah.

And you might say to yourself, no, I won't, I'm not gay. You haven't seen it. You haven't smelt it. You haven't been around it. And there's some extra zest about it. If you see it, you'll see, you can't see it right away. Not because it's small, because you have to walk through, you have to see through the aura.

Yeah. It's like when you go to, it's like when you go to the mascara where all the Amazons are like, wow, this is beautiful. Yeah. It's a Bobby's Dicks right there. Yeah. Wonder Woman dick. Right.

It's an, yeah. And also, um, but so if I go to the steam room with you, you can't be sexual about it. And you can't be like annoying, like, don't just don't annoy me. Don't have conversation. If unless you started, no, there's, oh yeah, there's a rule. There's gotta be a rule. That guy's gotta be a rule. Yeah.

Only speak when spoken to. Yeah. If I ask you a direct question. Yeah. This is it. Go to the steam room together. Okay. Yeah.

If you look at my dick one time. Yeah. All right. You're fine. Two times you're out. It was a race. No three strikes. No, no, I'll, I'll even show it to you.

I'll even go. What's, let's say you're the guy. Yeah. Who's JoJo? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My parents, baby JoJo.

Yeah. Yeah. So you're JoJo. I'm going to tell you the rules. Cool. Hey JoJo. Hey, what's up, Bobby? So when we go in there, you get one side at the, at Tokyo, the Dumb Dumb.

I mean, I get to, I get to see it. Yeah. You get to see Tokyo, the Dumb Dumb. Okay. And then if I catch you glancing at it, well, you're out. Number two. Like you're out? You're, well, I just, I'm going to leave you there.

Okay. Okay. You cannot talk to me unless I, you, you get a direct question from me. Okay. That's number two. Number three, don't lock eyes with me for too long. Exactly. How many seconds is max?

You can lock eyes with me for about five seconds and then just won't turn away. Okay. And number four. Even when you're speaking to them, they cannot look at you, right? And then afterwards we get donuts, but because of donuts. California donuts. You have to buy me the donut milk and those are the rules. Okay.

This sounds like a great sweepstakes. Oh yeah. You can be, you know what Gilbert? You can fucking make fun of it. All you want. They peep. I'm telling you right now, people want to go. I'm Jojo.

Oh, that's sorry. I'm sorry. You're doing character play. I apologize. And we also, we also didn't talk about this, which is we didn't talk about. No whispering. No whispering. We didn't talk about Wonder Woman.

Wonder Woman review with Bob. Wonder Woman was clunky. Oh. It was a little clunky movie. It didn't make any sense at some parts. Very good movie. Yeah. Other, aside from that.

Also, I saw the other night, King Kong. Wait, we go back to Wonder Woman. And when I go back to Wonder Woman, but I have to, if I'm going to forget. Oh, King. Oh. So my group. So Kyla and I were in a hotel room. And I go, look, look in the hotel, King Kong's playing.

Skull Island. Skull Island. She goes, I'm not going to watch that. You said that. That was accurate. Well, no. I said, I know why you want to watch that. Why did I want to watch it?

The CGI is amazing. The CGI is amazing. Why else do you think I would want to watch that? Because that fan is an extra in it. He's not an extra in it. He's in it in the movie. He is three seconds in it. It doesn't matter.

He's in the movie. I'm not in the movie. He goes. He does that. He gets punched in the face and he's out. And then he turns off the movie after that. He's like, that's all it is. You didn't watch the rest of the movie.

No, he didn't. That's so early in the movie. I know. 1999, just to watch that in the hotel room. I saw that. I've watched all his clips. Everything he's ever been in. I have.

The last ship. Scorpion. You look at my iPad. I have only one episode downloaded of Scorpion. One episode of bones. One episode of bones. I have one episode of the stars. The last ship.

The last ship. Yeah. So I have, I watch all this stuff. And I can tell you what he plays in all these things in bones. He plays a restaurant manager. He makes me watch the right. Yeah. And he yells at the two guys coming in in a scorpion.

He plays some sort of like construction worker supervisor. I love how you know every role. Yeah. The last ship he plays some sort of like dignitary translator. I think he is. He's on the boat with this other Vietnamese girl. He doesn't have any. He doesn't say any English in most of the things he has no English.

He gets Vietnamese parts. And that's a really good talent to have. He's got that locked in. So yeah. So we saw. But anyway, Wonder Woman was clunky. But can I just say this? I'll tell you one problems with it.

Number one, if you're going to have Germans, have them have accents, please. Oh yeah. None of them had accents. And if they did, they were like weird, like hybrid English. It didn't sound German. There was an accent. I didn't know what it was. Yeah, exactly.

Number two, the American Indian. Do an American Indian accent, please. Thank you. Oh, that guy. You're going to play an American Indian. Do the accent. Please. Thank you.

Next time. Okay. There was just some clunky story. Like, I'm going to leave. You know, why? It was a little shaky. Some parts, but Wonder Woman is a very difficult person to put in a live action movie because if you've ever seen the TV show, it's so like colorful, her outfit and glitzy.

It just looks very kind of cartoony and difficult to do, but they pulled it off. They really did. They really did. I think Wonder Woman is probably one of the strongest superheroes I've ever seen in any movie. I mean, she could probably not beat Superman. I don't know. That would be a close fight, but she definitely wouldn't be able to beat Incredible Hulk,

but that's pretty much it, I think. Kill Batman. I think Wolverine would kill Batman. I think Wolverine would give her a fight, but then she would still win. Other than that. I mean, it's it's so wonderful to have a woman be represented in that way, man. I really be honest with you. I mean, if I had a daughter, I would watch that movie every fucking day.

Yeah. So a woman looks at it and goes, oh, I can be strong. I can do all that stuff. I think that's very important, man. Yeah. That in that scene where she crosses that line. Oh, no man's land. No man's land.

I was like, damn. That was pretty fucking amazing and all the guys just follow her. Yeah. What are you gonna say? I thought it was kind of weak, man. Please don't whisper. Please don't whisper. Say that louder.

Say it louder. It's your opinion. I didn't like the movie, man. At all? I like parts of it, but it just I just lost it at the beginning. I was like, this is not a real world at all. Come on. It's it was a little too fake.

And like, she's a god. Yeah. Well, she's a daughter. Spoiler alert. Yeah. It's a wonder woman. Yeah. She's walking across the no man's land like she's risking their lives, not her own.

That's just kind of root of her. Like all these like great scenes are just like mean to everybody following her. Here we are. Like they're mere mortals. They have to cross like behind her like follower and like they could actually get killed. What do you if you're a wonder woman, you're in that situation. What do you do? Not cross.

Not cross. Stay in the bunkers. Not save the fucking village. Villagers that are dying. I go. I go. No. Let's go to Poland.

You have a bigger goal. We're going to Poland. You're trying to end the war. Not save one stupid village. Yeah. She's a good person. All right, dude. She fights for love.

But you can't do that. She fights for love. An alien, she would have caused it to die because she committed like she went against like smart protocol. She committed the sin that in every alien movie causes everybody an alien to die. Yeah. But no, she didn't. Yeah.

What do you mean? There should have been a protocol of like not saving like the rinky dink little towns. Yeah. But it's not the reason why aliens, they do their protocols and whatnot because it's usually under a military like regime, right? Like, you know, in aliens, it's these, you know, it's a corporation. So they have all these laws and there's, you know, I don't know what the corporation was called, but there was also a military there, right?

This is one woman who is a fucking God in a situation. She's never been on earth before. Fuck face ever. She's from Amazonia, wherever that fucking place is, right? So she doesn't know the fucking rules and she knows that people are dying. So she's going to just do that. Is it the right choice? Who fucking knows?

But my point is, is what's she going to do? Go to fucking Poland? Like I said, and go around and then by the time everyone's dead, you fucking nut fuck. You're a nut fuck. What else did you have a problem with? The scene on the beach, the opening, the opening big action scene. Just with all the women fighting. What do you mean?

The most amazing part? Yeah. Where they're basically. You don't think women can fight, huh? No, it's just so, no, I don't think people with bows and arrows could fight like people with guns. They're kicking ass and then finally like one person dies, like just. Our tree is not dead, George.

Okay. Not only that. But what is this? Azuz created the Amazons to protect the earth realm. Yeah. Oh, so these aren't normal women. Yeah. This isn't Baywatch, dude.

It's fucking. It's Claire Underwood. It's Robin Wright, bro. Yeah. These are people that are like on horses and they know their shit and it's the first time they've ever seen a gun. So what are they fucking supposed to do, dude? It's fucking Hippolyta.

Hippolyta. You know what? You know what? You are my friend. You're a classic sexist. Classic sexist. You're a classic sexist. You are, you are a Trump supporter.

Oh hell no. That's what you are. You all know. Shut the fuck up. All your libertarian bullshit from before. Libertarians ain't Trump supporters, man. I mean, there's something twisted going on in your foundation. You can't build a house on sand.

All right. House of cards. House of cards. You cannot build a house on sand. All right. On a horse. And every day I do still appreciate you, but not as much. Okay.

All right. All right. All right. All right. All right. I can't believe that you said that. But so what did you like about the movie? It was okay.

The tits, George. Oh my God. Were you on a date when you watched the movie? No. Who are you with? A friend. Bryce? No.

Who is a friend you were with? Kasim G? Who the fuck was it? My friend Jamie. YouTube star friends? No. You're going to put one of those on me? Put one of those?

This fucking guy on YouTube. All right. All right. All right. All right. I'm going to save you, George. I'm going to switch to subject before he just really. I'm going to go crazy on this guy right now, dude.

Yeah. Also, just the third act, though, was a bit much. I can't handle the CGI sometimes. It looks too fake. I thought, you know, it was like two hours and 20 minutes long. I think it could have been just the two hours. Yeah. Yeah.

Also, you make a movie. I can't do it. I can't do it. I get it. It's actually Wonder Woman. It's a hard movie to make. And, but you know what it did, it was very, very good at was making you feel some type of way, at least for me as a woman watching it.

Some of the romantic bullshit. He hates the romance stuff. Some of it's a little bullshit. You didn't care for the ending. I mean. How she reacted to the. I mean, first of all, Chris Pine fucked Wonder Woman. Yeah.

He did. Right. All right. All right. And the next day, the concerto just went about their day. Yeah. I don't know about that, but can I say this? Yeah.

I know there's a lot of Chris's, you know, there's a lot of Chris's that are leading man. You have Chris Pine. You have Chris Pratt. You have Chris Hemsworth. Chris Evans. Chris Evans. A lot of good looking white dudes.

Chris Wotowski. Chris Wotowski. Chris Wotowski. Right. Chris Delia. Chris Delia. How many more can you go? How many?

But out of all of them, my new favorite is Chris Pine. I'll tell you why. Because when he first did Star Trek, I had no idea who the fuck he was. And when I first saw the original Star Trek, I left the theater going. Probably there's no other young actor that could have pulled it off like he did to play Kirk. James T. He had, you know, a modern version, but he still had that playfulness about him.

And in this movie, Wonder Woman, he was very funny. But I have to give him and guys like Ryan Reynolds that are good looking white dudes and Pratt too, who are funny. They're genuinely funny. And you know, I had to give it up. They're good looking, funny white dudes. And I mean, they're just, they're great. Chris Pine is great.

And I'd love to meet him one day. Come on the podcast. Yeah. So that's what I'm saying. She saw Wonder Woman for the very first time in the close-up when she looks over at Chris Pine's face and you just see like the light behind her and he was like, he was mesmerized. Gorgeous. I'm telling you right now, man, when it comes to white girls or Jewish, she's Jewish, right?

She's Israeli. What does that mean? She's from Israel. She's Jewish. I don't know. Okay. You're a world star. Holy shit.

Okay. Whatever. She's white though. She is. Yeah. She's probably physically a 10. Yeah. She's a 10.

And she's a badass. She served as like a, what do you call it, like a fight or a weapons coordinator in like the Israeli army or something like that. Oh, for them. Oh yeah. And I also did a movie with her. And she rides a Ducati. Keeping up with the Joneses.

It's so funny. I did a movie with her. I never met her. And I also, I will never meet her. You might. Why? I wasn't invited to the fucking premiere. She's perfection.

That night. I thought I was, when I was doing the movie, I go, I'm going to get invited to the premiere. They never invited me. Really? Yeah. Sorry. They didn't invite me to the out front for my show. I mean, this is a terrible, terrible situation.

It's fine. You know what? I got you guys. What? Yeah. We have us. Yeah. He has us.

And I'm also going to have a birthday party guys in September. Oh wait. Don't announce it. I'm going to tell people where it is. Oh. I kind of want to, I kind of want to do a contest for like 10 people to come because I'm going to have. Oh, that would be fun.

I'm going to have 10 people to come, but then I'm also going to have all the good people coming too. Like your, your, your, your celebrity. I got specials, specials to come. The specials? Yeah. Get myself some men's sea. Probably short together again.

We'll do a little contest. How about five people? 10 people. Five people. We're going to do a contest. Yeah. And one of the contests, I want to tell you right now is no one's sent me Dreamwater powder yet.

It's been a while. It's been a while. Wait. Hold on. We got to look up that person who actually sent the initial pack of Dreamwater. There have been two people. The more Dreamwater powder you send me, I'll be real. The more chances you have.

He'll remember your name. I'm going to my birthday party. Yeah. And that I'm not trying to like manipulate the system right, but I am okay. And so that's that. What else? Well, you're going to say something. I don't know.

I think I interrupted you. No, I'm not. I'm going to say something we could all discuss. Which is what? Like dirty, dirty anuses. Why would you know where? What happened to your anus? No, not to mine.

Was yours infected? No. Although I did read an article saying that America to no surprise, I mean, at least not a surprise to me. Americans have by far the dirtiest anuses in the world. Nope. What? Yeah.

Nope. There's Asian countries. No, but yeah, Asian countries we all watch. America has been the most okay, so very squeamish about the idea of poop, but we hold on. We love toilet paper for some reason. This is the only country that's very resistant to actually like mechanically washing with water. And bidet or something.

Yeah. Because we are either squeamish about poop and in other countries like a toilet is something is an object in the house that's upgradable in America. We see it as like a distress by something that we don't enjoy buying. It just has to be there. So yeah, we got dirty booties. Yeah. So in Ethiopia, they have cleaner buttholes.

Possibly because they probably use water. Yeah. They use the... They don't move the shit around with toilet paper. It just moves. Yeah. The infested lake water. Probably.

To clean their buttholes. Probably. Malaria. Probably. Malaria water. You know what? I really do believe you when you say that. Yeah.

I was going to argue with you, but you're right. In Europe, they use the little square of the days. And I have used wet... like my brother uses wet naps. That's smart. Yeah. But that clogs the toilet so badly. Doesn't matter. We're not talking about the toilet.

We're talking about my brother's butthole. That's very clean probably. My brother's butthole is probably the cleanest in L.A., maybe, even because he uses a lot. I know. I know. But he uses a lot of wet naps. He uses dry and wet. Jesus, Steve.

And he doesn't... You see the way I wash. This lady, late at night, I'll go to the bathroom, it's dark, there's like a fucking bottle of water or a glass of water, like I'll buy the toilet and then spill it because for her butthole. Strictly for my butthole. And if I go to a public restroom, I'll always have like a cup with me. Even when I pee though. I don't know why.

It's just a comfort thing for me. That's why I go to the steam room. But like once a week? No, I go every day at night. You know I go every air at night. Let me smell your butthole right now. Not right now, please. Please.

I smell yours. You smell mine. I don't want to get naked. You're not okay with mine. See how that exchange is not working for anybody? Almost sexes. How about we have them smell our buttholes and jobs? No.

Good man. Let's do that. Let's not do that. Why not? I didn't sign up for the Sweepstakes for this. The Smell Kalyla and Bobby's Buttholes. You know, I could do this. If I knew we were going to have the contest, I could prepare myself.

No. Come... No, you have one week to prepare. One week to prepare. I mean get a scientist. Even take little samples of my butthole. You won't find anything in there. The way I do it.

The point was, it's like a random drug test. You can't tell them it's a pop quiz. Let me smell your butt. Come on. Let me smell my butt. How about this? I'll smell yours first and you can gladly smell mine. Let me just smell your butt, Bobby.

No. Please, sweetie. You are the weird one in the situation. I thought Bobby would say something. I'll do an exchange, bitch, but I'm not going to fucking do one-way fucking street bullshit butthole smell. I don't know why I'm craving the smell of butt. Oh.

That's weird. Are you... Let me smell your butt, baby. We'll do it later. What about that? I'm going to go to the spa. We'll do it later. Okay.

No, I want to smell it when it's dirty. I need to go to the spa. And it's so funny how you guys have never been to the spa with me. Never. I'll do one. You know who won't go? Eric Griffin. Why not?

Every night I ask him. Oh, really? Not right now, man. And I think... I don't know why, but... You always ask in a very threatening way, though. Like what? Go to the spa with me.

Yeah, go. Go with me. I've gone with Ian Edwards. I've gone with Rick Glassman one time, Jay Davis a couple of times, Steve Byrne. I've gone a lot of times with people. Have you converted other guys just going all the time now? Only Pauly. Only Pauly.

Because Pauly, it's a part of our culture. He's from... He's older and he gets what why. He's also an old Jew. Now, I'm not saying that in a negative way. I'm just like... And I'm an old Korean. I think we're made up in that way.

We like diners and we like... Old souls. Old souls. We're old souls. Yeah. I like cigars. I like all that shit. You know what I mean?

But yeah, I wouldn't know what to do without steam rooms. I love them so much. And I think it's healthy. I don't know what it does, but I'm sure it's healthy. Let me talk about a restaurant in Japan that's hiring old people with dementia. Have you heard of that? There's a restaurant in Japan. Now, listen to this.

A restaurant in Japan, they hire all their waiters, have dementia, so you order food but you don't know what you're actually going to get because they forget what you order. So it's called... I swear. It's called a restaurant of wrong orders or something like that and it's a gimmick. So it's a surprise what you actually get. That sounds not frustrating. It's not only that.

How do we know they have dementia? They could just be actors. Oh. Oh. Because Japanese like that, weird. Like, okay, I'm...I can't get commercial auditions and all of a sudden I'm like, I'm not booking shit. This restaurant opens up.

Looking for people with dementia. I'll get the part. I'll do the I thing, I'll walk in circles, I'll do whatever it takes, but I don't trust gimmicks like that. Yeah. The only reason that I find it to be really weird is that dementia isn't just forgetfulness. It's very labile emotions. It's very...someone with dementia, at least the...some of the patients that I've seen

in the past are, you know, they're very emotionally...they can be very emotionally unstable. They can laugh one minute, cry another, feel lost, you know, the minute after. So to be functional in that way is nice. Like it's a nice gimmick maybe, but maybe they're not like progressed so far in their dementia. How about a restaurant in an insane asylum? Jesus Christ. And you make them like in silence of the lambs, right?

Like remember that guy that was next to...what's his name? Hannibal Lecter. Which one? The guy that threw the cum. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. A fostered face. So a restaurant? That's the guy.

That serves you. That serves me. Oh wow. That skeets on you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just skeets on your food? Yeah, and now that's...there is a gimmick. That is a gimmick.

I'll go to that one. You're also where your life could be in danger. Oh like real life. You pay for the experience. Yeah, you pay for the experience. Don't eat anything. You know, but that's a dumb thing. It's like when they...but here in China they have that restaurant where they serve animal

penis. Oh that doesn't seem too off-brand. And my point though is that all those little things, you can have them, I'm not going. Yeah. No, the purpose of this apparently was to hire, you know, people who, you know, were suffering from this disease essentially. Yeah. To be like, look, they can still be a functional part of this society.

That was the point of it, apparently. Unhelpful advice with Barbara and Kalala, yum, yum, kiddies. Hi Tiger Bellies. So I'm about to turn 21 in July and I've had a hard time focusing on my own life. I work two part-time jobs and I'm going to summer school to get ahead in college. But overall I feel a lack of satisfaction or even a little bit of happiness. Is it hormones or is this what being 20s is like? His name is Oh.

Oh, those were the worst times of my life, the early 20s. I was so depressed. I didn't know what I wanted to do with my life. I worked really hard at these day jobs. I really did. I was slammed at these restaurants running around and like making no money. And I just couldn't get anybody to date me. And I just felt futurist.

I was going to a lot of A meetings, but you know, and just things just got better as I got older, you know, so anybody that has a question like that, I just wanted to say that regardless how you're feeling now, as you get older, it gets better because a lot of my depression was based upon basically, you know, you turn on the TV, even back then we had MTV, you know, and, you know, all these shows and clubs and people having a good time and fashion and all this stuff. And I just felt like it wasn't for me. I was just more of a, you know, a kid that liked punk rock and I liked weird movies and

I just didn't fit in, you know. And as I got older, I just found more comfort into what I liked and then the world changed. And so I wish I wasn't so bummed about, you know, some of the things that happened to me at an early age. And also that pain and suffering really helped me motivate myself to just do more, to take more risks and stuff. I also shouldn't think you should be comfortable and perfectly content at 20. To be able to say that at the age of 20, I like where I'm at, I'm comfortable, I'm ready,

I'm completely happy is a little bit concerning for me because you need, there's so much growth to be had still and there's so much more to attain even just with your own like personal like character, like with a lot of things internally. So yeah, you're supposed to feel a little bit like you're in muddy waters and you're unclear. And I think that's totally okay at 20 and even in your 30, fucking I'm confused as hell still. Yeah.

I also feel like things haven't really changed much in terms of how I feel about life as I get older. Yeah. I'm 45 and I look in the mirror and I go, I'm 45. What does that mean? Am I supposed to be somewhere else? Am I supposed to own this, be doing this? Because I look at other people my age, especially kids from high school that I went to high

school, I go to their Facebook, I obsess, I just looked at their families and their houses and then there's, you know, they have like family dinners and I just feel like I couldn't do that. It's not for me, you know, but I don't have those things either. And I don't know if I made the right choices or not, but it just, it is what it is. And I feel really still excited about, here's the thing is, is that when you, you know, I could get a regular job, nine to five have kids, but what do you get excited about? I need that, I need that little thing of this could possibly happen.

What are you still excited about? I get excited about like still working. I really do. I get excited about, you know, when I'm working on a couple of things, I get excited about it. It's fun. I get to meet new people, you know, and I know it's Hollywood bullshit or whatever, but still I'm being honest.

That's how I feel. I get excited about, you know, when I, I could meet Ellen DeGeneres, I know that sounds weird, but she's producing my show. I haven't met her yet, but that'd be great if I get to meet her. Be on her show. And, oh, I wouldn't be on the show, but I just, I think she's cool, whatever for, it's a big talk show star, she's a big star. So I mean, you get excited, like, you know, when I see, I was hanging out with Eric Griffin,

he's, he's, he's, they have a huge, you know, we talked about it last week, but we talked about the advertisements of his show in New York and stuff, and I can see him childlike and excited about it, and I'm like, you deserve it. You know, I really am very happy for those guys, but you can see that they're, you know, their joy is infectious, you know. How do you know that a family man who has dinners with his children doesn't experience the same kind of excitement with other things, maybe not a billboard and Times Square, but you know, like other things like watching.

Yeah. And I'm sure that I'm sure that that's what they get excited about, and I wish I was like that. Having a family doesn't take away all your life's excitement. Yeah. I mean, yeah, I mean, for me, it's like, Hey, Billy just scored a touchdown. That's a big thing for people. Yeah.

It's a big thing for you, I think, by the time you have children. And if it's not a big thing for you, you need to reevaluate your motherhood. And Billy scored a touchdown and he has downs, which is more exciting if you had downs. I mean, you'd be excited if your child was like playing for Chelsea or like not just a bit like Arsenal, and he scored a goal. You'd be like, Oh, that would be amazing. That's exciting. Yeah.

But that's how it would have to go to that. I'd be excited just if my kid. Yeah. If I was my kid was like soccer player. Yeah. Or didn't kill people. Here's another thing, though. It's here's another thing.

It is when I run into like guys like Steve Byrne or who was I hanging out with the, oh, yeah, I was talking to Chris Spencer and Chris Spencer, you know, he's a producer and he's, he's been around for a very long time and he, him and Jason Glurn were talking about how their kids got into the school and Jason Glurn went to Chris Spencer and said, Hey man, congratulations. It's a hard school to get into. And it's not a college. It was like an elementary, like a middle school, a private middle school, right? And Chris like, Yeah, I didn't think it was going to happen, but we're so happy.

Like the whole family is happy. And I was like going, Holy shit. That would be kind of, you know, I guess this is what the joy of having children is. But I wouldn't know because we killed two. Are we good, babe? Are you still mad at me? Especially after that. We're definitely good.

No, you have to let us smell your butthole on camera now for all that. I love you. Do you love me? Let me smell your butt right now. It has to happen. As a sorry. I'm going to smell your butt now. No, as an apology.

I'm going to rape you. I'm going to rape you. The police. I'm going to rape you. Don't say rape. God damn it. I'm going to. Anyway.

Anyway. So my birthday, oh yeah, five people, spa competition, dreamwater, basically just send dreamwater and we'll keep a track of people's names who send dreamwater. Who's next week? We'll do a raffle. Do you have anyone next week on the on the show? Possibly. We're going to we're going to chat after this.

I want Dylan Francis done. Only you have his phone number. I'm going to call Dylan Francis. I want Dylan Francis. Okay. If he's in town and also I want to do Vanderbake too. He wants to do it. Okay.

James Vanderbake, but he's a little shy. He's a family man. Okay. We get that. We can interview family men. I think we can have him. He's a good head of variety. We can go high brow.

Let's go high brow. All right. But then don't bring up dementia. Yeah. That's fine. Anyway. Anyway. All right.

All right. All right. All right. Kalala, any shows for Bobby Lee? Bobby Lee will be in Charlotte, North Carolina two weeks from now. Yeah. Hold on. I don't do well in Charlotte.

So you guys have to come out for Charlotte because I just don't do well out there. It's the south. And that's it. Charlotte come out. Yeah. We'll announce it again next week too. Where are the prizes? Is there more?

There's gifts out there. Where are they you bring them in here if you're in Charlotte or close by and Or within driving distance Go see Bobby. Are you gonna open it right now? Not yet. Not yet. Don't open yet because we're gonna do we'll just finish it up Yeah, good. We'll finish For more dates, you can go to bobbyleelive.com. He has a few in July one of which is in Tempe, Arizona You can follow me on all forms of social media at Calamity K and you can follow George Oh my god, he got his dream water. Oh, it's an early winner. Hold on. Let me announce his name get his name. All right, so

All right, so Lucky son of a gun somebody sent dream water powder. Who's there's no name? Yeah, there is a name the perfect podcast Hang on. Hang on. Let's open this package. Hold on. It's honestly. No name Wow, don't say up. Yeah it says um Oh Yeah, it's just from Amazon, right? Yeah, it's just from Amazon. Holy geez. You didn't put his name. We can't put your name All right, so whoever sent me this

Everyone's gonna say they set you it. I know but a receipt a receipt. Yeah, if you can confirm the number of the package We will is this in here? No, that's different. Anyways, anyway Oh, also, I wanted to do a quick shout out to all the tiger belly fans that we had Oh, who came to the show and also the ones we went to dinner with Seattle. Yeah, Nicole John Christina Papa, right? Yeah, this girl look at Olivia and her boyfriend. They made like they blow glass. It's amazing It's amazing. Yeah ship to Kalilah Gilbert and George. Oh Wow Really

Bullshit boys, so you're indefinitely not in the contest then this one's from Edwin Torres. Ericka and then a drill. Thank you From Philadelphia. This is the first alive. Yeah, but what if someone sends you? um stuff That they're from out of state and they can't come to your birthday party. They can come. They just gotta fly out They'll fly out for it So guys makes you falls on Instagram at Tiger Belly on Twitter Belly arsenal that's so cool. Oh my god. That's not right here. They're opening live right now Oh, this guy Edwin Torres sent me some arsenal fucking swag some stickers. That's dope. Holy shit, dude. Oh Shit, this love king respect invincible. Look in the back. Look in the back. Oh shit. This isn't

Same invincible wear it right now. Oh guys Tiger Belly 100 is coming up around the corner I've got a question on reddit For you guys if you want to ask us any questions or have any ideas on what you think we should do for Tiger Belly 100 I want more questions than ideas since I'm not sure. I mean we're we're not gonna be able to take every idea There was an idea for a live polygraph test. Oh I did like that idea. I'm a little I mean not sure we're gonna do it, but I love that Is this from Mike? Baby, let him announce you some stuff first. Let let George announce some stuff Shout out to Facebook group user Nat

Puticle he found a video of Bobby in the underground comedy movie. Yeah, that's a very thin Bobby in that movie You saw it. Yeah, that was a tummy tuck Bobby. You saw it as he just told me what you see it It's on our Facebook group. It is it's hilarious. Show it after I want to see it. Yeah Somebody was a sense. Um put some stand up from way back in the day. Oh, yeah I was like really like I don't even know when I did that really it's crazy that long ago. We don't know Damn George anything else? Oh, and then just a shout out to iTunes reviewer Masa Michi who says this is the only podcast he listens to every episode iTunes reviewers lately, but we're at this is from Steven DeLuna North Park soap company

Okay, so make sure to Ivan Brothers who sent the arsenal stuff. Oh my god from Steven DeLuna sent soap soap Oh, make sure if you want to send us packages, we'll do something like this again possibly you can send us the packages to It's a Stevie Weeby facial activated charcoal face bar. I think it's for So Tiger belly address is 1626 North Wilcox number 161 Hollywood, California 9 0 0 2 8 Oh shit check this out from Greg Anderson from Stratton Road. Oh, that's his address Yeah, Greg Anderson sent me my left foot great fucking movie great movie and he did it because of my foot But he also sent me gets this

Love the podcast, thanks, Greg. Thank you, Greg Right, you're the best now. You're on the list. Give me the thing here. We'll keep is he's on the list You guys know you have to see these soaps one is for the slept right Greg Anderson look It's tea tree eucalyptus for your foot. Oh my god. Okay, and this soap is for Queen Kalayla And we all get a soap each everyone gets a soap dude. Look at this facial Wow, I get lavender for my anxiety. That's so smart. So smart. Which one's that one? George's pink dick red red wine For brown skin for skin peppermint mocha

Thank you, sir tingles your gilbets. Oh, okay last one guys last package. That's package Scott from Los Angeles He lives in Los Feliz Boulevard. So fine Scott in Los Feliz I remember this from last week. This was great. Oh I got it. Oh, yeah, so also guys While we're doing this, um, what is that it's a dick balls. It looks like truck nuts. Oh It's pretty good. How do you know what this is George? It's strange I just revealed myself as being very from a very redneck town. Yeah, those look like truck nuts You put them on the back of your big you put you strap it to the back of your truck to make your truck have nuts

Yeah, it's a very if you have a lifted truck and a small penis. You do that popular in the south I've seen that all the time in Georgia. Yeah. Oh Thank you For the nuts. Thank you for the nuts. I love these so before we got one more one more time Make sure you guys set in dream water to get your name on the point. I mean, we got too much now Very realistic nuts. I know those are amazing nuts not my nuts Mine are brown and thank you for all the dream powder Also before we go shout out really quick MMA minute with Kaila shout out to Mark Hunt. Oh, yeah. Yeah

That was a great fight Did Derek Lewis retired? I think he retired. I don't I think Brian Stan botched that interview a little bit And I don't know if he's maybe he just said that he just lost. Yeah, that was a great fight card. It was great I don't like Quick finishes a lot of finishes. Yeah, that was a fun one. Yeah, so Mark Hunt. You still live on I'm cheering for you to battling the UFC and knocking people out I think he might be like my favorite fighter in all of MMA right now right now because he's one of the guys that's like Really?

From pride has seen his way all the way through to today and still so relevant and fun to watch It's not like because back in the day my favorite fighter was like Damian Maya. No Fedor. Oh Oh, but he hasn't had the same like impact as Mark Hunt has had in the UFC, but Yeah, all right guys, that's our show. Thanks for setting stuff in. See you guys next week. Ciao. Bye. Hey Prime members you can listen to Tiger barely ad-free on Amazon music Download the Amazon music app today or you can listen ad-free with Wondry plus in Apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at Wondry comm slash survey