TigerBelly - Episode 96: Theo Von & The Peace Meats

Episode Date: June 21, 2017

Theo stops by to talk Columbus, ginger maggots, pharmacies in heaven, young mustaches, Filipino Grigio, chopstick legs, cocaine cartoons, and Chet from Slidell.   Check out Theo's Podcast "This Past Weekend"  https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLY155lJX6_wcTzyjW2sGB4sTT5ZkivwnN   Try out www.ziprecruiter.com/belly   See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

You're listening ad-free on WONDERY PLUS I just want to be real dude That's all I really want. I know but I told you to not say nothing until I fucking introduce you, dude He's looking at me. He goes five four three two one. He does a fucking thing, dude. All right. All right. Hey, man Look at me. Do you know him good, huh? You don't get it. All right, we'll do we'll get into it. You know, I know what I know what you're saying. Go ahead Five four three two one two three four five four three two one two three

Welcome to do do the thing Welcome to that's fine Jesus Jesus loves everyone in this room. Mm-hmm, and the Lord is in this room right now. I can feel it his energy and his It's you know, the Lord is energy and we're all connected by it. Amen, bro Hey fuckface. I told you not to talk until I introduce you. Sorry. That's okay. He's looking at me Welcome to another edition of The Tiger Ballet and that's what it is and I don't like to see You know it. Yeah, yeah, and the thing is is that

You know, I tell the guests to do certain things like shit the fuck up until I introduce them and they say things But it's fine because the thing is is that I want to let everyone in this room know that I'm still the captain of the ship and I'm still your leader and You do as I say You hear me white boy. Yes, bro. Yes, and I we got We got fucking Kaleila we got with Gilbert. Yep. He's my sidekick. Yeah, the Jason priestly of Can you see it a little bit Jason priestly of Siam, man, and we got our guest, ma'am. No, Theo fucking wrong

I am. Fuck dude. Thank you for having me today. Holy beautiful in here It's a lot. It smells a lot more Feral in here than I thought Who would it mean just more it smells like there's more kind of hidden animals in here Right, right, right, right then I think that I have them as pets or other things I don't know. Yeah, I think you I can imagine you've been through a lot with different animals But I yeah, I'm happy to be here man. I appreciate you having me. Yeah, I love animals and I love you I've always loved you man. I don't know when I met you. When did I meet you? Mm-hmm

Turn out like how big you were whenever we met probably same size so probably maybe six years ago In a long time, you know, I mean, but when I met you I went fuck this white dude right here. Is he funny? I saw him go up man. Dang. He sounds very One of the Latin kings now Oh, just be what you got a big Fuck is he funny or what? On stage bro Yeah, bruh killing that guy

He went up that dude. He's fucking got weird shit, bro Oh, shit his point of view and shit about like where he from shit It's pigeon urban Jesus about my station about his uncle and Chimes on the all kinds of shit doing I was like dude. He's one of us, bro. Yeah, and then I saw him in another time Do him and I did some Jerk me off by a dumpster. Oh, yeah Excuse me what we work together we work together where I had a jerk Theo off. Oh, I didn't literally jerk him off At a dumpster, dude, you do what I do in the hotel room. I charge money for that, bruh, but it was mysner

We really I think we touch But you know what I'm saying We really did it. Yeah, yeah, cuz I don't have any I hardly have any feelings left in my penis anyway I feel like at this age And I'm not trying to be weird or what is it because of a lot of masturbation or you get a lot of girls I think it's a mix of everything man, you know, I've been with some decent women and some just Troubled women and some undervalued women. Oh And you still you still hook up with the ugly ones or what? No these days, I mean, you know, I try to find

That you know a little bit of beauty and everybody but sometimes you got to really get in there to see it I mean like right I know what you're saying what you're saying is to me this it's like you're okay You meet a girl online or whatever. Yeah, and their face is fine legit, right? And then their body is legit, right? Then you get them naked and then some things aren't legit. Is that what you're saying? Yeah, the foundation is weak Whatever I always said you can't build a house on Except Angkor Wat was built on sand Angkor Wat and What This guy right here right now right here man

Yeah, yeah, that's crazy, huh? Yeah, so But do you don't trust him they'll do you when you look at him be real You want to honestly know how I feel when I see him. I think That you know, he probably grew up in a place that had like a lot of chimes and stuff And a lot of cartons on rugs on the wall. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah ceiling on the flooring You know, yeah, I know what you're saying do they mix match a lot of places They put rugs on the wall instead of the floor. What is the kitchen look like? Yeah, the kitchen a lot of utensils. Yes Yes, yeah one giant one giant yeah, yeah a couple of older

Siamese that look either that could be men or women. How do my parents talk? I don't talk anymore Yeah, but there's a lot of love in there, but the love is all it's a lot of loves historical So it's already been built in You're not getting like a lot of it these days. It's just kind of no, but it's really known though. You feel it. Yeah Yeah, when I first met you dude, I didn't trust you Yeah, because you came in you're like a fucking yellow butterfly. You came in zippin in zippin it out What is zippin in zippin out? Ginger yeah

What's a ginger maggot? It's just somebody that uh, I'm hot I've got some a buddy mine came through town with some sick ginger, bro And I've so I've been on that for like two days. What's what you mean like like real ginger the root. Yeah, good I mean like from Hawaii I wouldn't say Hawaii. I am I am Sam. No, but you know somewhere closer than that He came into town. Are you being real? He came to town this guy with actual root Ginger root stuff make you can't even close your eyes, dude And then you make a juice out of it. Is that what you do some some you eat if you get like real in the inside part

You eat it you juice some of it You can cut it up and put it in eggs You know, but it's strong, bro. Yeah make your neck grow, bro I love ginger myself, dude. Yeah. Oh the street they used to go There was a sign that said we only have Hawaiian ginger Mm-hmm and that for some reason just because they put the sign up made it seem even more potent Yeah, like you're right if they hadn't put out there like oh, this is regular ginger. Yeah, but they it was like a warning We only have Hawaiian ginger. Yeah, which scared the fuck out of us. That's a drink it anyway

You know, man, that's a gay maker right there ginger boy. If you had to pick one spice. It's a real gay maker I think what do you mean by that? No, just you get enough ginger in you man. You don't even see gender really you Yeah, yeah, I mean you suck fluid. Yeah, you'll fuck a damn breeze trying you'll try to fuck a breeze passing by Yeah, let me let me ask you something man. You'll fuck anything that feels thick around your body Yeah, it'll be a strong breeze. I missed Yo, do yo weird guy, huh? Yeah, you know when I thought you were unique Bobby was when um you got when you have that I know you tell talk about on stage when you said you got molested, you know

Yeah, yeah, yeah, cuz I dealt with the mentally handicapped We had a bunch of mentally handicapped by us when I was growing up and they were wild too What do you mean wild lose they don't this one man was a farmer, I guess mostly livestock. So yeah, you know living crops. Yeah, yeah, and he um He had a couple of mental sons and they called them mentals Or Tizm if somebody had to Tizm that's when they yeah, yeah had autism, but they didn't want to make it fancy Cuz autism sounds so French really So you just have the Tizm yeah, you know Tizm and

He had a couple retarded sons, and I don't mean to say if anybody is retarded. I'm not talking about you I'm talking about these other retarded people that I knew when I was And he he had two retarded sons that would always be on horseback and so they were Yeah, cuz they were live-stalkers. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and they had all Live-stalker. He's too busy trying to so what do they do to you anybody anything? No Well, they had one of them eventually got injured. I guess he got injured somehow and then they got him a bicycle that had a One of those, you know mothers used to have the bicycle with that baby seat on the back Yeah, yeah with that small baby seat like now they put you in like this covered Conestoga wagon and like you're like

There's like roll bars and stuff like I remember back in the day used to like the kid would just be Back there. He would just be back there in the back. Yeah. Yeah The rest of the world is still like that. Yeah, like not even in the mother's sights Like yeah, yeah, good luck back there. Dude. I was in Thailand just real quick I saw a dude on a moped right. He was wearing this fucking motorcycle helmet Oh, he had a baby on his shoulder. Baby had no helmet You might as well just take the helmet officer and just tie your baby to your head. Yeah use the baby as the helmet Right. I mean, yeah, that's fate practice, right?

You don't put a helmet on a baby. Yeah, that's a risky, right? And then one of these guys got it was mentally challenged and he got a bicycle eventually and they gave him They the bike had a like a child mother's baby seat on the back Yeah, and I had never met anybody that was gay. They didn't have a lot of gay people in our area And if they did we didn't know about until we're older Where did you grow up in Louisiana? And they didn't come by and also, you know When you grew up in like a rural area like nobody really cares if somebody's gay It's not like they're running around like they don't have a gay pride parade

You know because there's only two gay dudes and if they meet up in the street, they're probably just gonna fuck a little They're not gonna put together a whole parade for everybody so But people said that this man was a homosexual, you know, and they didn't have and everybody's like wow and They said that they said he had a husband like a little husband that left him that used to sit in that backseat So there was always like a ton of not remorse really I don't know what the feeling is but when you saw this man go by you were like, oh, that's so sad That is little more more. It's remorse. Yeah, it's for more

Yeah, yeah, and it was just sad, you know, because you were like, oh, this guy had a little husband that left him And so I believe everything you're saying because we watched a documentary called mommy dead and dearest Yeah, and everyone's from Louisiana, but like in the bayou remember how they yeah, they talk. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah I think that like it's just simpler. You just learn things like in a different way, you know No, also like I'm sure like you're in a small town the two gay dudes people know them, right? Right, so there's not like it. I think in the media when you see like, you know, Republicans talk, right? And they talk about you know that they don't believe it, you know gay rights or whatever, right? That's just in the media, but I think in small towns. They accept them, right?

100% like that's the crazy thing like the only time anybody ever put anybody on television from my area was when Like they needed somebody who'd seen an alien or something, you know Yeah, yeah, otherwise these people are mostly doing good stuff, you know Yeah, it's just like they always go to like one or two spots and pick out the worst, right? And I think they do it from us to everything, you know, but um, you never saw an alien growing up You know one of my buddies died he was on Oxycons and he choked to death on a Some type of a meat bone or something. I don't remember it was chicken foul

I Thought after he died that he came to see me a couple times Wasn't oh, so not alien. You're talking about ghost ghost and you're talking about the paranormal Yeah, talking about not extraterrestrial not extraterrestrial. Yeah. Yeah, you're talking about ghost shit, huh? Yeah, so you he came back that he looked like an alien or did he look like he was on the porch. He was outside as As himself and I felt like it was him, but he seemed a little bit more. Yeah, kind of Randy than he used to be a little more Active, you know, right? Because you get a little bit. I bet you once you're dead. You're like, oh, I'm free You know, that's your amistad man. You're out of your body. You know, you're about do you believe in that in afterlife?

I do because we came here like people was like you think you go to like a magical place in the sky you know and everybody's just sitting around and fucking Drinking rocket sauce and doing magic, you know, yeah, and I'm like Look where I'm at now, bro. I'm in the middle of fucking nowhere on a ball of fucking dirt. Yeah, this happened Yeah, this is the only proof I have so do I think something like this could happen again? Yeah, I have to think that So when people like you think you go to a crate a place where there's a bunch of other people That you don't know like if you're talking about heaven, you know Mm-hmm, and everybody's doing good and I'm like

Yeah, we just like here, but everybody would be doing good. You know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so I base it on this almost more It's like reincarnation a little bit. Yeah. Yeah, I you know, I Don't necessarily because I'm so scientifically like geared towards it's always believe like in things that are factual But too smart But I do believe in like sort of like the paranormal stuff because when you live in a big city like this You're so all your senses are drowned out constantly by the noise of traffic by people around you It's just always chaotic

But when I go back to the provincial areas in the Philippines, you do sense something different there you hear thinks more you feel things more Yeah, and I always get sort of a sense of like that paranormal stuff when I'm back there, but never here in LA So I kind of it's called boredom. No, it's not boredom. You think that's what it's called. Yeah, you think ghosts come from here Here I wake up. No, this is what happens LA I wake up fuck. I gotta go here. I gotta go Starbucks. I gotta go to the iPad store get my things screen fixed You mean I'm gonna go see Joe Some friend. Yeah, it's in a fucking vape store. Yeah, right and then you go to an A meeting that I got two shows to do

Yeah, you got shit to do over there. You wake up. There's nothing to do. Oh, I see a ghost. Yeah Oh, I see it here. You see what I'm saying. Yeah, it's like something like. Oh, what are we gonna do today? Yeah, nothing to do right Zach. There's nothing to do. Yeah, you're minding right am I not right babe or no? No Okay, I just throw you you kind of reinforce what I was saying Which is you don't allow yourself to feel anything because you pack your day with so much and your feelings here It's hard to get your feelings to have no space here Like I can't even feel that much here, you know, like I'm far more. I noticed once soon as I get outside of the city limits I'm far more and you know, I'm not trying to be profane, but you're wrecked

Your dick has feeling again. Yes, my life has feeling again. Like I don't see how people Have any there's no room for your feelings here. There's just no you can't relax I can't anyway. Maybe if you're brought up in this type of environment. Yeah, I'm like that in New York Really? Yeah, if I'm wake when like when I wake up in a hotel room in New York with all the noise and all that stuff I could probably sleep for four hours Wow, and then I'm just walking around right. I just cannot sleep. Hmm. It's just there's excitement in the air There's shit to do. I remember one time I was in fucking New York and I meet I don't know how I ran into I ran into Maz Trubrani. Hmm. Yeah, he's like Indian or some shit. Yeah, what is this Pakistan? Yeah, whatever and he goes

Hey, he goes. Hey, dude, you want to go to a Moroccan like nightclub, but it's like invite only and it's illegal I want to go I want to go when they're those two things Moroccan illegal. I have to go All right, those are two elements. Yeah, I'm there. Okay alleyway Down these steps through a red door. We walk in and then there's like a fire Right, and there's people with bongo drums Right tribal Smoking like see yes smoking things and people are dancing, right?

And I just started dancing I started dancing too because I didn't know what the fuck to do. I was scared. Yeah, right because Maz started too I think Ahmed was there too. Oh, I'm mad. It's always you gotta dance. Yeah There I got right and that's what to me New York is, you know, so when I'm in LA, I feel relaxed Right, and if I go to like Wherever you're from I probably go in the coma. Yeah. Yeah, I probably go in the coma and never wake up again Wow, yeah, because it sounds that cold, huh? Sounds boring. We didn't have a lot of Asians man. We had a There was a rumor of an Asian when I was

I'm not sure was a rumor was a rumor the rumor Was and I've talked about this before yeah, I talked about this before They had yeah, they had a rumor that there was an Asian kid, right? And this is after because we got a Latino kid. We got a Latino Not a family just one kid one. Congratulations one guy one guy Nicholas was his name and a little bit of light facial hair. Everybody was fired up about that There was a lot of rumors and stuff going around about that Because yeah, people have never seen that on children, you know

Wait be light hair on the face. Yeah, like this. Yeah, people are like he's trying to grow a sideburn on his on his chin Yeah, so that I was on the wrestling team in middle school It is panacea this right there because panacea this was 60% Filipino Their wrestling team all the kids had mustaches. Oh, yeah, all Filipinos have mustaches by the time they're 11 I mean literally we're a female and male. Is it like a hand print like a fingerprint? We just grow mustaches like nothing, but we don't really grow the rest though What we are like many Pacquiao mustaches we all even the female Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I remember like wrestling against them with the first time and they all have mustaches

And we don't We're like we're kids. You're like, bro. Yeah, yeah, but our team was so good. Yeah that we beat them Even me I crush them. Yeah, my brother We'll never ever did Chris is that his name Steve Steve Well, there's only three that's yeah, yeah Steve Steve almost killed a Steve almost killed a Filipino out there Wow, but my brother had no facial hair and here's this old man with a mustache that he's fighting against or wrestling Yeah, and my brother snapped him on the ground. We're like, yeah

It was amazing, but anyway, so anyway, so the face so the rumor of the Asian though you heard a rumor Yeah, they had a rumor that there was an Asian boy in Slidell, Louisiana, which was probably about 17 miles away. And so we had to get over there Yeah, you know, we're fired up and we thought about it for a couple weeks And then we started me on to my buddy's cut grass man this kid Danny Yeah, it was a good friend of mine and he had some to he had a couple of different deficiencies, but he's Doing okay now. Yeah, you know and he um We raised up some money saved up some money over about two months and then we called a taxi over there Yeah, and we went to this place where they're supposed to have

You know this Asian boy chat. I want to say the name was Chet. I'm trying to think off the tech somebody chang Does that sound no? Chachang chachang chachang So chat chat, right? It doesn't sound it doesn't sound plausible. It doesn't sound plausible because I've never met an Asian guy named Chad Yeah, there are in Southeast Asia. There you go. It's either I think it's either tie or well then you're a mate bruh chatmate So you got there and he wasn't there it was a it wasn't there

The name is from the city of Chester, England so Probably no probably no. Yeah. Yeah, and uh, yeah, we went there and it was just like a laundromat Somebody had opened up like a new laundromat or like a cleaning like a right clothes. There was no was it an Asian run laundry mat? I don't know that could have been maybe some else that got diffused when by the time I got tough, you know I'm this way pre-internet. You know, right? This back when you what was the first? Do you remember the first time you ever saw an Asian in the flesh? Man, I feel like it was a man. Yeah, I feel like it was a man with glasses on. Yeah, but I could probably draw a picture

I'm but I don't think that I Could but I don't think that I could tell you when how old are you? After that, I mean, I guess I kind of gave up on it after the yeah, yeah After the no show of chat. Yeah, but you would think that you know go to your saving up money Take any cab to go see chat. You don't see him that you would this years Let me keen to what when you're gonna see another ride So then when you see another Asian at airport or whatever you would go. Oh my god, and that would be in your thing But that's fine. Yeah. Yeah, I remember

Went to Africa one time as I got a little bit older and I was like holy shit, you know a lot of Africans are black, you know Yeah, and I was like And that's when I realized like heaven is mostly gonna be like black and Asian people You know, it's not gonna be that many white people there. A lot of Indians Chinese and black. Yeah. Yeah China has one billion India has one billion and they're dying. Are they down pretty quick? I mean, it's gonna be packed up there when you think about what you think about this to think about this I've thought about this is that you know how you know when like white people they have pets. Yeah, they do funerals They go will see you in heaven when I know

You think that all the cats that I love and dogs that's ever lived on planet earth are gonna be in heaven, too Because if it is I don't want to be there, bro Imagine that just All the bees has ever existed. Yeah, all the allergies. I mean, yeah I'd have to open a pharmacy up there for people You can't open a pharmacy in Why do you're gonna ruin it? Yeah, you can't be this crazy guy who's bringing wood and shit up To start a business people believe the people who do who believe in heaven believe only humans get to go to heaven

Or do they believe all living things go to heaven? That's a good question my belief and now I'm not sure exactly where how much of religion was in it or just this idea that I had was that it was me and probably other people that I picked to be there and like my loved ones, you know for some reason in my head and Everybody's there. Okay, so how does this work if you I think I think feels right. Yeah, but you what if those loved ones? Don't go to heaven. If they don't go to heaven, then you just get like a memo or something or you hear How is that tell like a verbal memo what I'm saying yeah, not a written one How is it heaven for you then if you can't be with that loved one who didn't make it to heaven then you that's just the way it Kind of shakes out. Yeah, I think heaven's about 85% of what you want, right?

I don't think heaven's a hundred percent anymore. Yeah, there's so many people it used to be a hundred percent I think there was a time that was probably a hundred percent. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know everybody just made it up there Everybody not in the internet age, right and now it's like yeah, and it's also you know, how Christians say they say No matter what you've done on planet earth how evil you are if you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior Yeah, that you will go to heaven. Yeah, so with that in mind You'll you'll be up there with some people that you know don't necessarily want to be around right some killers It took a minute the last minute. Right. Right. Like, you know, imagine being eaten by Jeffrey Dahmer. Yeah, he's right, right? His fridge up there Did his fridge make it up? Yeah, and then he before he died in prison. He accepted Jesus. Yeah

And so now you're chilling on a cloud you see with Cleopatra and the ones you want to hang out with. Yeah, you know You don't ever dirty jobs. Yeah, that guy that guy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and then all of a sudden I grow Yeah, Jeffrey Dahmer floats by on a cloud. I mean, how do you feel? Hmm, who are the people you want to see most in heaven top five? Oh, fuck in his side from my family or in history in history Like historically like Lou Reed is one of yours. Well, no, I'm gonna change Lou Reed from the Baltimore Ravens Who is it was a singer he was yeah, yeah, they'll be on the ground. I've heard of them. Yeah, I'm trying to think I would probably go Columbus probably why he seems boring

Christopher Columbus he just came up on some land. Yeah, he was You know anything you know anything about his personality See his aggression, but bro listen to me right all we know about this right is that like I Get on the boat. I think let's go west. Yeah, right? That's so but you don't know what he's gonna be like in eternity You don't know his little fucking quirks and whatnot. No, you don't know what he's gonna be like I don't know what he's gonna be like cuz he's in my fucking top five Bobby You're not gonna. Oh, right, right, right, right, and I think that's my bad

Yeah, because here's the thing dude to get on to a boat. That's the bravest thing and just go somewhere Yes, not even knowing for sure if like the world is rounder flat at that time Well, they did already know and every morning you get up and you have to like kind of make sure one of your buddies Doesn't have a disease for you like get real close to him like that's crazy, bro Kill you dude. Yeah, a cold will kill you. You could make it. Why not Magellan then bro Oh Magellan would could have been better, but he did kill a lot of people too, and he killed a lot of local Yeah

I like Columbus number two Columbus number two maybe Probably One of the kids from that movie Have you seen the movie Johnny Depp where he plays Peter Pan? Yeah, finding Neverland. Yeah. Yeah, one of the kids from that probably which kids The main kid with the freckles like kind of the most troubled one Who else Christian Bale probably We need some straight up cooter on this island

Oh What do we get probably oh one of the chicks from Friday night lights Alley Landry mmm the tall blonde one is the one I want the one with a whipped cream on her I don't even I'm talking about the right movie The one with the Wrong movie all together so So you the last one we need a mother figure. We need somebody to help take care of everyone Judy Dench Dame she's not dead yet. Jesus. Yeah, but she'll be dead when he's dead. She doesn't seem like she has any

Mother milk in her breast I need somebody can help out. Yeah. Yeah Somebody with some Yeah, Kathy Bates and in a cold She's got 40 year old milk. No, I don't know who's who would be the good yogurt now It's like When she was still fertile and and Nicole Smith. Yeah, she seems just like she just be such a pain in the ass

Yeah, she wouldn't be an urge whole boat rides gonna be about her. I feel like yeah Yeah, I don't who's a good mother. I don't know mom, but let me say something right now, dude I ain't gonna visit you and have it. I'll tell you that right now. Really? Fuck your fucking people, bro Well, who's your people dude? I have people too, bro This is an opportunity for you to tell them no, I'll tell you my people dude. I'll forget Lou Reed, babe Okay, yeah, you know what I'm gonna go for it, huh and he's gonna have to choose a woman unfortunately and this doesn't well Well, yeah, here's yeah, here's the thing though, dude. It's like In your thing, right? You don't have so those are the five celebrities or whatnot, right?

You're gonna have your mom and your dad and everyone else's area So you get to pick five people aside from your family Yeah, you're just an awe or always wanted to meet in history, right? But at first it's Gilbert. Can he be on the list? He doesn't have to be on my list cuz I'm already gonna see him cuz he's my friend Yeah, so five random people that I don't know you're in there like cool like all right. No, let me do mine. All right Whoa, let's don't use it. I think I'm gonna do slurs either. I think I would do pull pot Why I'll tell you why because pull pot dude. He's the scare man. Yeah. Yeah, he's the heavy hand

He's not gonna be in heaven. The Rod Weiler. Why would you think pull pot would be in heaven? He's not accepted. You don't know this when he was in the village in Thailand right before he died He accepted Jesus Christ as a Lord and Savior. Yeah, and he died in Thailand. Did he really? Oh, did he? Yeah? Yeah, well, he's a Rod Weiler. Well, I'll tell you right now Thailand harbored him Oh, that's right. You get to live in a fucking village after he killed two million of his own people You know what and when people from other countries see you in their country, do they Feel like they want you to rescue them or anything like that like was there any stuff like that? Like take me with you Bobby or take me in the Philippines. Yeah, I remember that fucking hotel guy. What happened? Oh, that's very common in the Philippines

Yeah, he's like oh, so you have a job for me in America. It's really sad. I go what? Yeah, I work very hard You know much I go. Yeah, okay. Here's my number Did he call you? No, I didn't get my number Bro, would you would you have given up your number? Yes, I would yeah. Yeah, I mean, no, they're all like that Wow Yeah, Filipino people happiest people I've ever met man. Yeah, did you have him in Louisiana? No, I did some military tour on this base one time and they had a just a lot of Peanuts, what do they call them? Penoise. Penoise. Yeah, I like Peanuts Yeah, Filipino Grigio. That was my wine that I came out with a long time

But um But they had a lot of Peanuts out there and they were good just cool guys, you know Happy all the same like a kind of like a medium shirt t-shirt All like the exact same kind of chest and arms Have you repenetrated a Asian lady before? I remember I made love pretty badly. I'm not really good at sex to a Korean girl in Idaho Wow Korean and I know Korean and it was awkward. I don't know how much Korean was in there, but it was You noticed it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, and I remember her legs. She had like legs that were very

You know just sturdy. Yes sturdy. Yeah, that's Korean. That's Korea. You couldn't get them apart It was like it was no way chopstick that like her Jessica. It is really strong. Yeah, it's a separate Yeah, yeah, well, I'm just saying this the only thing I could relate it to it's like, you know You ever get those chopsticks and you're like, oh, I can't separate them, you know, it was like that man Yeah, very dangerous stocky legs, bro. Yeah, right. Did you eventually break the chopstick? I mean, it didn't even matter. I mean, I am bad at sex So it's like you get a little bit of sex and you know, and it's are you really bad or just saying that because you're comedian No, I'm pretty bad at it. No, I was good when I was young. Oh when I was young dude. Yeah, I'd fuck you, you know

But now I'd probably chat with you You know possibly we do like some mutual masturbation. Maybe some sex That's so sweet mutual masturbation is the best. Yeah, it's very thoughtful At a certain point it is. Yeah, and some of it I think is just kind of evolving, you know It's like something like if you're still fucking somebody you're sometimes like just a weirdo, I think Sometimes but then sometimes you got to let the beast out of your heart, you know and I sometimes You know, I just I don't know man. It's called. It's just so there's so many feelings sometimes going on inside of you when you're trying to deal with like

Love and sex and well, I'll tell you why I prefer you know The reason why though is because of the fact that you you got sober. Yeah, and how much surrender you have now Let me see 11 a little over 11 months. Yeah, and when that happens, yeah, your mind clears Yeah, and new emotions arise. You have to learn how to deal with life on life terms Yeah, and this is what you're dealing with right? Do you feel more on your dick since you've been sober? I feel a little more out of my dick, kind of out of your dick. Yeah, really? Yeah, I would OD OD because I feel like drunk sex. I never really feel I can't even like climb nothing There's drunk sex. It's just fun. The idea is fun, right during but you never remember the actual pleasure from being

Drunk and having sex. You smell in your clothes. That's what I like. Really? Yeah, the grime the the idea is I think but the actual fact the actual part of doing it drunk is only fun at the time that you're drunk That's the only time. Yeah, even remembering it's like mmm and fist fighting and fucking I remember was more fun when you were drunk, you know Like stuff like that. Yeah, we're just But what what is that? What all activity change though in your life and you know, I think I just yeah I mean, I you know, it's a good point you bring up because I feel like I do have more feelings now, you know Yeah, and I feel like you're clear to be honest with you. Definitely. Yeah, I see your face Yeah, it's just like a far more like just the complexion is a little healthier. Yeah, and you seem

Health just a healthier in general. Thanks, Bobby. Yeah, I appreciate that man And I know that you're taking it seriously because you know, I'm sober too and I I get this Observing you yeah far and I know that you're active and you're doing it, you know, and that's that's great Yeah, man, I appreciate that dude. It's good And I mean the interesting thing is how many how many other people you meet who are in doing it? And it's just that's the kind of thing it keeps you going a lot of times You'll just be like ah and then somebody else will tell you a story or you meet somebody else who's in the program And it's just like, okay. Yeah, you know, there is something going on here

Something magical kind of yeah, there's a lot more people in the boat than you thought initially because I mean even since I've met Him I realized that it's like so many people are actually sober Yeah, and who are fully creative people and who are who act just as wild as Bobby like when people see him the perception is always Oh, he's either high or Yeah, he's like a Travesty something that we got released from another country Deal when you look at me though, wouldn't that be a great movie? It's like we get back one of ours from Bobby's country Yeah, but they also have to send Bobby

It's like some POW, but we also like we got to get rid of You think I'm a disaster a disaster or what? No, what do I think when I see what you like? Tell me what you think man I think I see like a Kind of like a cocaine cartoon that kind of jumped off the page and has been running from his drawer, you know Oh, I like that a lot. That's what I feel like you're just on the run from your artist All right, and you're just doing whatever you can and just stay on the lamb, you know When you're hanging out here with this guy in the closet and big whitey here Yeah, ginger root right here, and I know he's Michael Landon over here

But yeah, I mean, I don't know you're one of the only committees that makes me laugh just by seeing you So you have a special gift. I think it's a nice gift you have But it's not like because people I hate when people do that like Eric Griffin said that they don't I did he He just you just walk around and you're just like this a mess, but he's probably jealous of it though We talked about of every podcast But I think you're a special guy man I think you always surprised me that there's other layers to you which is it? Oh, man, I like to get into surprising is that I've been looking underneath the table and you guys have been playing footsie for about an hour

Yeah, I love you man. Well, it makes me feel nice I'll say that you're always very accepting of other people and so that's a nice because especially as comedians It's tough sometimes to You know, you don't you don't want to impose on comedians that have been doing it longer So when other comedians are nice to you that have been doing it longer It's really makes you feel how you know more confident. Yeah, well, you know, it's another yeah I was seeing I saw David spade there right and he came up to he always makes fun like he says jokes like He goes where'd you park your rickshaw?

But he always says, you know, he always texts me and stuff. Uh-huh. He's just a really nice guy Yeah, right and I just thought because he's been he's ahead of me, right? Yeah, and it makes me feel like oh This guy's really cool. He is a really nice cool guy, you know, and I just feel like When I started I didn't run into those guys. Yeah, when I started I ran into a bunch of fucking assholes. I thought wow, you know, and um I Just like Support, you know, I like supporting talented guy I really believe when I watch you perform even the shit that you were saying here in this podcast It's the same vein of like, you know, you is this guy real?

Right because it seems real. He with his descriptions. He paints a world where he comes from I'm don't know if it's if I go to that world for real that it'd be like exactly the way he describes it But still it's very vivid in my mind. I really I've told them a minute million times You gotta create a show about your life about your where you come from Yeah, in Louisiana all those guys with the deficiencies and chat Yeah, yeah, like an episode of you looking for 17, you know, 17 miles away. There's a Chinese guy We got to save our money. Yeah, it's one episode. It's very funny. Yeah, right. Thanks, man And it's not rooted in racism. It's just ignorant white people is what it is

Well, yeah, well meeting the arts are pure And here's another thing that I've said to you before and I know that you're gonna hate me bringing it up And I don't know why you're ashamed of it. Is that thing we talked about in the elevator what reality television? Yeah, yeah, I'm not ashamed of it. I'm so I started out in reality TV. I was a road rules cast right in 1999 And they don't have the show anymore Oh, I'm starstruck. Oh, you remember it. I grew up watching you because it was in the Philippines. Yeah, I'm from America, man. Hey, man Oh, bro, but I grew up and put a flag patch on Simulate bro, I know I grew up in Georgia and I used to watch it all the time. Oh, that's awesome, man. Yeah, it's good

Yeah, I mean it was just a wild time I guess it's just because it's hard to like it's not hard to separate from it. It's just like It was just I was so young, you know, I'm 37 now like I was 19 when that happened. Oh my god That doesn't count. It just doesn't it does it and also I'm going to say this. Okay. Is is that if Because I don't I don't never seen the show. I've heard of it. I don't know that you're from there Yeah, and a lot I think a lot of comics are like that a lot of comics that are older are like, you know What the fuck is that we don't we've heard of it? Yeah, but you know you you're merit. It's what you are now that I judge you by yeah, okay

And what I see is a comic a real comedian With real chops who's in it goes places. Yeah, and For you to get spots At the store the improv lab factory on nightly basis, which is what you do. Yeah to do headline I know what rooms you play. Yeah, they're all all a-list rooms. Yeah Yeah, that's not you know a reality show Guy that's a real Comics right, you know life. Yeah, so it's like it's something that you did in the past

But I think it's interesting to Do a show like that show. What's it called world rules and to reinvent yourself. That's uh, Jamie chung. I know you went to israel. Yeah. Yeah. Jamie chung. Yeah. She was on the real world Yeah, I think it was a real Christina Provinsky. What does she do? Pazitsky was a road rules cast, right? She is hilarious. Yeah Yeah, she's very so you know in certain instances You can come from a show like that. Yeah, you know what? I swore to fucking god When I left mad tv

I couldn't get auditions because cast directors would be like, yeah, he's from mad tv. Yeah, it was a negative thing Right, so I just went all right. I'm just gonna go back to stand out Yeah, they don't want me. Hmm. And then You see key and peel jordan, you know key again. I a bunch of people do well. I'm doing okay. Yeah, and now those things They're not said anymore. It's more of a thing. Oh, they're from that right, right? But for many years, I was ashamed of it. I really was it was like a shameful thing Really? Yeah, because nobody wanted like it. There was a sense of like That it wasn't cool right right and

And it wasn't I don't think at the time, but if you look at who's come from there The lineage the comedy lineage. I mean the people even writing like oh, yeah Yeah, I mean cotton dun who's on Superstore superstore, but he was one of our writers. Yeah years Michael Hitchcock from all the Christopher guest movies was one of our producers I mean, there's a lot of when we would we go to mad tv We would hang out with Eugene levy and all these guys that used to hang out there John candy's daughter. I mean all the satv the history of it would be there, but we in terms of the media or

In general the country we no one give a fuck right, but I can't change my past and When they offered me the show I took it. Yeah, because What am I also going to do? Yeah, it's an opportunity. Yeah, and I did it And I'm fine. Mm-hmm. My career is fine What my point though is is that You came from there, but it's nothing to be ashamed of yeah, and I remember like, you know I used to bring you up like that. You didn't like it. I won't I understand why then. Yeah, because you want the audience, you know, I mean

But I just think that you should never run from it, dude because People literally respect you. I get what you're saying because there's a stigma attached to reality tv in general and the types of characters That are in reality tv today, which you know, you know, you do it's a stigma Yeah, so I it is for some it is when you don't have talent. Yeah, you're right Yeah, you know, you know when piece, you know a lot of these guys, it's a lottery They won a lottery ticket, but then some people Actually have talent. Yeah a real talent

And and at 19 if they were to ask me to do road rules, I it would have changed my life. Yeah, I got no pussy I had no friends I got nothing At 19. I was invisible. Were you really? Yeah Absolutely. I walk into anywhere and no one saw me. Yeah, all right And so of course I would have taken that at 19. Yeah, I mean I had no plans of going to Comedy or being a comedian. I didn't have any I was just walking across campus at college and I was just like really really depressed and they had like auditions and then

um Next thing you know, I was uh, they called me one day and they asked me to To go on this trip, you know, and I was like, oh, this is going to be really really interesting and then um Yeah, and then that's how I got into it I think the part that kind of burned me was like Or the part that got to me was like whenever I got out till a years later and I decided I'm going to get in I want to do stand-up

Some of it was there was times where you know, I like to make them people laugh because I always You know like and this is part of alcoholism. You just I just never felt I just always thought people just didn't like me ever since I was young It just something was wrong with me I had this ism where I thought people just didn't like me and it just there was nothing I could ever do in a moment To feel any different

And so I knew if I was making people laugh that they had to be liking me for that Few seconds because they couldn't hate you can't not like somebody and laugh, right? So it was like a real proof that I had it, you know, visually Um, and so, you know, then I got into making people laugh and And then you would get out to like places and then there was always just like these dudes who had like come from other cities or whatever Who'd probably auditioned to be on these reality shows because like it was always those types of people I would see when I go into auditions and stuff who would always kind of I guess made me feel negative about it Right, you know, so I don't know if sometimes the the feelings came from me as much as they did

Probably just from some weird lack of acceptance and back in Louisiana people would like try to fight me at bars and guys would like I remember people throwing bottles at me and like it just got crazy And that's one of the reasons why I left Louisiana was because it got so Uh, crazy, you know, it just got out of jealousy, right? Probably I guess they get drunk. Fuck this guy You know, you're on tv and Inward they call me the inwards it when I'm like What? You know like I mean, I'm Polish Nicaragua. Yeah, yeah, but

Uh, so yeah, just idiots, you know, I mean, there's a lot of idiocy in a lot of places So but that made me feel on that with the suffering. Yeah, you coming to la And you know what to be honest it probably wasn't good for you in the beginning when you came to la Yeah, right those things could have been real that you know, they were like saying shit or whatever, right? But the thing is is that the suffering Is key it motivates you right to go. I'm gonna get through this. Yeah without suffering. There is no reward A true reward. That's I believe that. Yeah, all those moments of me going. Oh my god. I'm out I will show you done. I will show you. Yeah one day. I will show you

And that idea that feeling I still have It's it'll never go away. Yeah that I am going to show you what I'm capable of Yeah, I think some of that hit me man. Some of that got into me. I was like, okay, like You know, I didn't even have a chance. I was making really any choices in my life. I was 19 And then now you guys are gonna say, oh, this guy isn't you know, uh, talented or this guy couldn't be an entertainer You know, or and I was like, okay, I'm gonna take the hardest job to do I'm gonna take stand up and I'm gonna do that then. Yeah, because then there's no way that anybody could say They can say whatever they want, but with stand up

There's no nobody can help you. I mean they can get you up on that stage, but you got to have to be up there Oh my god, you not only have to do that, right? You are now following because the some of the spots that you get are later, right? I mean you I've seen the lineups where it's like Heavy fucking hitters dude. Oh, yeah, and you go up there and crush too. Oh, yeah That's right. So right what I'm saying is is that that right there should show People a lot. Yeah, which is like that's a legitimate Soldiership, but I think you're also at a point in your career where I don't think anyone doubts that anymore like yeah Yeah, you have us, you know, you've been around long enough as a stand-up

But I don't think anyone would ever question that about you at least for me like I didn't know you from road rules and yeah I saw you like there was no doubt in my mind that your Legitimacy is 150% like I never thought hmm. I wonder where this guy came from or where he started It was like no this guy's been doing stand-up all his life. That's what I thought right Yo, dude, you I'm gonna be real with you right now. Dude. I promise you this man I promise you this right now, man. Okay? I never bring it up again But I just needed to pick this baby. You shouldn't have brought it up. I know I'm gonna I brought up this one time

Just to address it. Yeah, but you and I We're past it okay. These people all right. Will you speak up? All right, you and I are past it, okay, and we're gonna move beyond it. Okay, okay All right I have no idea you gotta do this No Yes, damn bro

No, no, no. She thinks that this when I do this right is a negative. It is negative. It's not it's positive It's negative. It's positive It's positive It's it's negative. It's positive. He's trying to It's not a gun, you know it because you know what you don't see This Right now the pipeline God's touching me right now there He is where you don't see it, but right, okay. Yeah, okay. Well, we are not feel you bro

I mean look, I feel you man, you know, I pray me. No, I mean, I appreciate your thoughts on it They're more I don't have that you know, I don't have that I don't I mean, I don't ever think about it that much anymore except for Yeah, no, I mean, I mean, I'm it's interesting to talk about the crazy thing is yeah I don't I wish I had a ton of like memories and stuff. I was just so young and I was just so you were partying too Probably I was partying. I was just like college 19. Honestly, how much pussy did you get? I mean, I feel like I probably you know, didn't please a lot of women You know, yeah, but was there a lot back then? I mean, they had they had they had pussy back then

Imagine imagine being 19. You're a good-looking dude, right? I'm like an eight as long as I brush my teeth I'm an eight. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Good-looking dude 19. I look kind of like the dude I feel I realized that I look like they do that always people always accuse of farting. I feel I do probably farted and he was funny probably, you know, then right. I'll just naturally funny, right? And that's how we got the fucking world rules at college. What do you how many people audition for that 10,000 people? No, like 50,000 every year. Yeah, it's crazy, right? Yeah So yeah, so that he beat all those people out and whatnot, you know, man And then they all moved to Los Angeles and became casting directors

And executives and then got angry at me whenever I walked into the room. We do now though, Theo was now we go over to Gilbert and we do a question from the internet and we Gilbert honestly is Is it was a popular name on Little House on the Prairie? Do you remember that? Do you watch that as well? I know what it is, but I didn't know there was a name on it. Did they get that where where is he from again? Yeah, yeah, he's from Atlanta, Atlanta. You guys get one. Yeah, Georgia. Good show It's not a good show very yeah, it is and that would be my fifth actually Michael and it would be left. Yeah Yeah, it's not it. Why is that a good show? When you sit Michael and yeah, I've seen it. It's about

I want to talk about Little House on a prayer real quick. Okay. I think that he's crossed the line with me really? Yeah What you came over the table? I don't I'm drawing the line. I am drawing the line at fucking Little House in the prairie. Did I pay I fucking what worked all summer to go see you When I was a kid and you weren't there, dude The cleaners chat The rumor reveal a reveal, but I think you bro. Yeah, I opened a store for two months And I knew it was coming so close it down dude We could go on tour right now and you could be the first Asian that a ton of people have ever met how great with that

I know be real Wait, she's come to your show be real right now, but I'm just saying what town are you from Lou from? Covington, Louisiana Covington. Yeah, let me tell you something right now Lee Harvey Oswald. What's our middle school? Wow? Thank you in Covington Covington, right? Covington Come on, bro. I said a bro. Damn dude selling swords, bro I look like you've been selling swords, you know in Covington. It was better than in Covington. Yes

There are no Asians in Covington. I don't think there are any more I mean that they might have had one, you know at a certain point or a couple of that came through in some sort of a program But I don't think that you're not If you ask somebody like where can I meet some Asian people here? Nobody's gonna know There's a lot of Vietnamese there, huh Vietnamese viet's no dude. There are no viet's there, man You know, let me ask you this and I ain't I love the viet's man I've spent a lot of time around the Vietnamese dude. I love the Vietnamese. I've been to Vietnam. I've been to a Saigon I'm gonna shank pin. Yeah, I mean, I I mean, I mean, I mean I'm a big shot

Shank pin sounds fun Dun dun dun dun dun dun With Christ, bro I'll get you murdered. So he asked a question from the internet. What's it called on? It's called unhelpful advice and he's gonna do it and then you we answer okay, great But I will tell you that I could take you to places towns right now We would show up and it would be like come meet the first Asian you've ever met and you would be that first Are you being fucking real though? We gotta do it. You have to go we have to do it. I could do that

No, I have to film it. Oh, dude, I could take you to at least we're like, am I gonna die? No, they're gonna love it How it's gonna be like come in and see the Frick show like I like I'm the hairy face boy What no we had a hairy face boy in our This kid named thunder cat Yeah, the disease the hairy face. Oh, he had long hairy face disease Yeah, very they says cornrow his cheeks a lot of the black girls with cornrow his cheeks in the summer Give him a little bit of relief from the heat

But um, but yeah, I could take you to towns right now and I could meet seven and eight nine year olds It have never met an Asian. Oh, I see. Okay. Well, let's do that one day. I think we should do that as a vlog I mean, it would be really fast and it would be funny. I think it'd be funny. I think it'd be very funny So you'll put a tent up And I'll go Asian guy and then I said we go aquarium Would I be in an enclosed area where they couldn't touch me or no, it should be a staircase up to like a like a tent or something Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's do that. Let's do that. Yeah, that's do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, my first Asian, you know, yeah with Bobby I'd hope for advice with Bobby Kalala and Theo Vaughn presents my first Asian coming to Louisiana

Wow, bro, that's pure talent. That is a hello. My name is Catherine I'm a 17 year old and I'm currently worried about my social life after middle school My personality flipped on me and now I'm a shy introvert that can't seem to connect with people Every time I push myself to talk to someone I find them boring and I give up on them People seem to be a hit or miss with me and currently everyone at school Has seen to be a hit or miss for me as well. How should I go about to fixing my social life? Catherine 17 years old. Hmm. I'd say go do some help somebody else. It sounds like you're just a little bit caught up in your own ego

I think Catherine another something tough to tell a 17 year old, but you know, you just I don't know You're thinking about a lot from you like you this way and you that way and you know I'd put the phone down and just gonna meet go go help some people go help somebody that's crippled or somebody that you know That might have a gay Lover on a small baby seat, you know, yeah Also, it's just being 17, right? Yeah Yeah, but 17 bro. What do you mean 17? I was moody, bro. You were introverted moody. I played chess I did all kinds of shit, bro. Did you really? Yeah, dude. You don't seem like that kind of guy

I was my stepdad bro. Oh, it's Coco actually. Who's Coco Joey? Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's right answer it. Oh, yeah Yeah, close to that Coco Yo, Joey, it's Bobby Lee, dude, we're he's on my podcast right now, bro He's Doing my podcast right now And now you're we're looking beautiful. You're a guest star right now My little Asian brother Bobby Lee, yeah, but Joey will you do my podcast? What are you gonna do my podcast?

Yeah, you're doing it tonight, dude, you're gonna be soon, okay, bro. I'm gonna call you Let me know about the next week. All right. I love you, buddy All right, you too, Joe, thanks for checking in He's the best man, he'll call me like once every couple weeks in his check-ins. Yeah, I'm doing Yeah Why I don't know that's a sweet. Yes. Nice guy. Like you said man It's like, you know people doing those nice things man It reminds me sometimes if I was showing this young dude on and I'll hit him up and be like you were hilarious or something

You know, yeah, or just something that's gonna boost his spirits. Yeah, but yeah I don't know. Maybe I'm being a little bit rude to the 17-year-old, you know I just that's actually good advice to every single teenager and I wish someone had said that to me when I was 17 Because I really was a little bit too full of myself Yeah, not even in the sense that I was actually full of myself I was just thinking of myself and everything everything that pertained only to me how the world exists And how it pertains to me only not the other way around and that's Yeah, it didn't service me later and I got stuck in that. So yeah, it's a tough thing to get stuck in

I was lost man. Were you? Yeah, real love. I got sober when I was 17 bro. God, bro My first time so sober was 17, dude, and I stayed sober until I was 30 But dude, I was lost and when you went out at 30, how long did you go out there for a couple years, man? Painful man real painful Joey Diaz. I was killed a couple times Because he used to like I used to bring fucking a fucking suitcase full of pills And Joey Diaz was the first one I would hand it to yeah Yeah, and then he would like take like my pills and then like he would take a pillow And then go to the bathtub and then lay the you know pillow in the bathtub put the shower on

Take my pills and just fall asleep. I thought he was gonna die Damn, you know, that's Vietnam right there Be it. That's making your own Vietnam, bro With all that moisture. So what's her name, man? Oh, Catherine Catherine. It's just good luck Good luck Catherine 17 supposed to be really confusing. So you're right on fine. You're right on target. I also want to say that I had to cancel You're showing North Carolina North Carolina this weekend. I'm so fucking sorry. I'll tell you what happened I have to shoot love Mmm, and it conflicted and I feel really bad about it because I really wanted to go

I love North Carolina. What's it Charlotte? I love Charlotte and I really do I just companies are like that room a lot and I apologize and I hope that you guys will forgive me And that I can come back one day. Hmm. You have anything to plug Theo Yeah, man, I'll plug um, I got my album. It's called 30 pound bag of hamster bones That's a good one because I used to sell hamsters growing up I was in the hamster and getting getting paid game for a bit And what else I'll be in New York City this weekend. What are you playing? I'm playing at Gotham June 23rd and 24th great room and then I will be in Nashville and that is

July 7th, what room I left at 8th at Zany's. I love that room and I haven't been so I'd love to support people to come out It's a good room, dude. I'm excited Andrew and those guys. They're the great dudes, man. It's a great room. Yeah, I'm excited Great barbecue. You're gonna have a good time. Oh, really? Yeah. Yeah, you like barbecue, bro. Mmm. Yeah, I do like it Never had Korean barbecue You've never had Korean barbecue. No, but I'll tell you this the one time they had a pet I don't know if it was a pet shop or what it was in Vietnam, right? They They were killing animals. They were killing animals. It could have been like a butchery. Yeah

That's not what Korean barbecue is. Well, they had a dove, dude that I'm like, this is a peace bird, you know I've actually eaten dove before a couple of brothers used to cook dove up by me when I was growing up They did and I'd see them eating dove and for years. I'm like, I don't eat peace meats, you know And then finally I had some yeah, but uh Gave me you can't get the fact that you're eating peace out of your head. I felt like For me, but anyhow, so I'm eating a hippie. Yeah, it's like yeah, it's like eating something You know, it's like eating a Dick that's just giving up for fucking and it's just gonna try to help people and not fuck

It's not like that Yeah, it's not exactly. It's not exactly like that. That's bad idea. That was a really bad idea But anyway, uh, they were I bought I bought this bird, right? I bought a bird I'm like, I'm gonna give this bird its freedom, you know, right? I'm gonna get out here and just Andy do frame this little So I bought this dove off this butchery after this butcher. Yeah, and I Got it. I throw it up in the air like that to let it go Immediately like seven Vietnamese people came by with nets Somebody caught it. No, I'm not even joking. I snapped its neck immediately. Oh fuck and left on to wherever they went

Yeah, you know who Kaiser Suze is from kill Bill No, was it no You know Kaiser Suze is no Let's move on. Do you know who Elon Musk is? Yeah. Oh, yes She's one point buddy of mine eats some spaghetti with him whenever it goes to over to his house all the time And he said that Elon give him a spaghetti like this he goes you want some spaghetti He's like sure and instead of fixing him a zone dish Yeah, he just put some out of his dish on a fork and

Who's your buddy? This young guy homosexual gentleman that's named Matthew Cole Weiss beautiful guy Okay, good beautiful fancy guy just got back. I know give a thief on a round of applause everybody. That was wonderful. Good. That was wonderful Thank you. Any handles for social media just at Theo Vaughn T. H. E. O. V. O. N. And Yeah, just check out my tour dates. I'm coming up in some neat spots, and I really appreciate you having me Bobby I'm a dude big fan. I love you man. Love you, too. That was great. That was so fucking funny Yeah, guys, make sure you follow us on Instagram at Tiger Valley and on Twitter at the tiger Billy You can email us any questions or unhelpful advice at the tiger belly at gmail.com and make sure you guys that you check out

Our survey and help us figure out what our demographics are by going to survey.lipson.com slash Tiger Belly Oh, yeah, what is this? And if you're hiring, don't forget to go to ziprecruiter.com slash Belly guys. Have a good day. Bye. See you guys next week. Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad free on Amazon music download the Amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with Amazon Wondry plus in Apple podcast before you go. Tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondry.com slash survey.