TigerBelly - Episode 99: Eddie Pepitone Hates Your Violence

Episode Date: July 12, 2017

Eddie stops by to talk John Wick, Joe Pesci, Lorne Michaels, corporate wastelands, selling out, sitcom coolers, and how the outside is the new inside.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Hey Prime members, you can listen to Tiger Belly ad-free on Amazon music download the app today Hey You Five four three two one blast off Bobby Lee here, man. What's up? What's up? Welcome to another episode of Tiger Belly And we got Kalilah my girlfriend my beautiful girlfriend. She has sexy legs I like her summer brown Filipino mud river legs. Yeah, and I love Gilbert's here flat face Gilbert with his brown beautiful face Oh, thank you, man. We got whitey. I'll get to you. I'll get to you buddy. I'm gonna get to you, buddy

Okay, we got George George piece of shit. We're gonna fight earlier. We'll argument We'll get into it and we got what's your name again? And then we have a special guest tonight guys Wow God I you know I've been a fan of his for a very long time and whenever I see him I get all giggly and stuff and I get all fucking I have warm fuzzies when I see him and his name is Eddie Peppitone. Give him a round of applause everybody Hi everybody And um ones so I I don't we don't know each other that well

Why there's a reason for why why well we live two completely different lines Yeah, I have a life of integrity and purpose Yeah, and you're just like fucking who well, what can I fucking get out of this situation? You know, we're all like that. No, you know what you said to me when we so a year ago We did a commercial. I know I never do those things fucking sell out. You fucking sell out You know when I did that commercial. Yeah, I didn't want my fans I put that in quote. Yeah, my fans to know because I have just lambasted actors For doing commercial however

Yes, yeah big time. Yeah, however, I I do make the um, you know, I I do I make the caveat That actors don't have a lot of bread. That's right, but the big guys like Samuel Jackson. Yeah, who's doing capital one sure Fuck you. Fuck you, right Clooney for Nestle in the veto Fuck you guys. Yeah does commercials. Yeah Oh, you know a lot of these fuckers know that and a lot of these fuckers you go Oh, they don't do commercial then you go to Japan you have Leonardo DiCaprio with a watch. Is that right? Yeah How much now? Here's my thing. Now you tell me this because I don't know You know, I think you do. Yeah, I think you do you've been you've been in you've been in more stuff

Why do these guys need that money? Is it because it or is it their lifestyle gets so big? All right, let me just say this. Okay. How can I argue for them? Let's say I'm their publicist. Okay? As a publicist that say well Leo did a watch commercial. Yes He's a multi-millionaire, but they offered him three million dollars for one day of work at taking photos So we don't know the harm and also those watches don't really do a lot of harm to the environment Yeah, but they do but they do. There's like little microbes in there. Here's the thing. No, do you believe that? Well, I'm just you know what I realized is that I'm but you fucking did one too fuck face I know but and you know what you said was like most of my money

We did the booking.com with Jordan. Yeah, it wasn't funny That was a bummer to me That was a bummer to me like yeah, I was like well key and peel man. This is gonna be a funny fucking commercial, right? I saw it Yeah, I know I know Eddie. I know Eddie though And I was like I got what I deserve But Eddie though Eddie Eddie then I googled that fucking company right right booking that comment. How fucking bad can this be? I'm just fucking you know doing a commercial for somebody some company who books people into hotels Then I read that they're under all kinds of investigations from monopolizing that kind of thing

Oh, I mean a price. Yeah, I'm like Did they offer you a vacation? No, but it but what why did you say that they offer you? You did one other you did you did more than me. I did a couple of them. Yeah, so I deserved Did you wait, but you got good money though. Yeah, I got for what you did for what I did I was unbelievable. I could see why people do commercials because it's like they're giving me baskets of food Like it was really nice. Yeah, but that way you and I got to sit there and watch it And then you said something very interesting to me you go How come you don't do jokes about like, you know real stuff like about yeah, you said yeah

You said about like, you know, I know how you feel about corporations or your politics things that you feel about like stuff Stuff that'll change the world because I'm more like kind of more meat and potatoes about my stand-up and I really went Oh, yeah, but then I don't know how to do that. Yeah I don't think I know how do we I remember well Yeah, but since I started working in the store, I realized that you know, there's there's you know, you got to make people laugh first. Oh Okay But I mean if you're gonna be this Comedian right that I kind of I kind of aspire to be which is like saying something

You know important. Yeah, or I don't know saying like like telling people like this is what's really going on It still has to be so funny, you know, it can't be too heavy-handed But can I just say something about you? Mm-hmm is I feel like I don't know this for sure but I feel like you avoided the clubs for a while and Now that you're playing the store, which is a kind of a newer environment Yeah, because the quality of comedy. I don't know if it's less or more or whatever, but it's different. It's good It's good. It's pretty good at the store, but it's solid. You have regular people buying tickets. Yes It's a different kind of crowd. Yes, and I feel like I've been Mr. Alternative

You know, yeah, I mean, I didn't want to see that word Yeah, but you you are a cool comedian Yeah, but the comedy store has been very good for me because of that because I've had to like really look at Just making jokes like seriously, and this isn't to kiss your ass, but when I'm following you I'm like I'm in the back going Because you get such big laughs and they're such well-constructed jokes and I just go up there kind of going What did what is going on? I know and you like a bing bing bing bing and I'm like going. Oh my god. I'm gonna

They're gonna hate but I'd rather what have what you have. You know what you have. Is that true? I'll be real. Why do I have because when you go up? The comedians come in to watch you I've literally sat next to all of them really watch you when I go up and I don't take this offense, but everyone leaves You sure I'm being I only think that's because they've seen you there for many. It doesn't matter. They just they've always left From day one. Yeah from day one. They just leave Bob. I'll also see they can be jealous No, I see industry there like they go these producers are here for this and they're here to see the guy after you So I just make the assumption I go. Oh, they'll see my act right and they don't even see that as soon as I walk up

I can see them get up They say hi to you. No, they don't say goodbye. I just I cuz I'm a we're at HBO Tim Thomas Tim Thomas HBO we're going in the hall. We'll be back for the next act though Yeah, we're definitely we're gonna go take a shit now. It's our shit break But I'm pretty much the shit break for comedians or people in the industry That's why I've never been to Montreal. I've never been to Montreal Bullshit. I just said it Is that true? Yeah, that's insane. I'll tell you I'm pissed off. I'm not there this year

But how many times have you gone? No only only three times So that hurts does it it does it shouldn't it it does because other guys have been there I a thousand times, but what I'm saying is is that but that's you have credibility in The comedy industry and it makes me feel like that. I don't Really? Yeah, this is so funny to me This is a classic case of like insecure community like like because I look at you And I'm like this motherfucker gets movie and I know it's not that's not that's not stop for a second Okay, let me just say this right now. Okay. I just said I've never been there to Montreal

If I didn't blows that blows my mind you does it get once one time one who is wrapping you Really and they ever get you in Montreal. Well, they you know, I want to go to Montreal to them Yeah, they go, you know what they say tape your sets. They aired over and over again. You don't want to go They try to make me feel like I don't want to go Inception, you know how they do they twist it. You don't want to go, you know What are they telling you buddy? They aired over and over you mean it's not gonna be good for you Well, they're just saying they tape your set and they do it in Canada. You don't get a lot of money from it You know, I mean, so all the industry people already know who you are. What's the point, right?

But for me, it's just about being a part of the club. Yeah, thank you. That's a big Thank you so much, baby. You're welcome. He's been crying about this for four years for four years. Well, that's a big I never went to Aspen me neither. What's an Aspen? They used to They used to yeah, and I was so pissed at that. Why I've always been an outsider. How about really? Yeah I don't think you have that. There's such a coolness and being an outsider. I think that Bobby's always wanted to be an outsider as well That's that's the inside. That's really that's inside. How is that inside? That's fucking I know but the thing is is that when you're in the inside you realize that that's not really the inside

That's only the lobby area. Oh, the outside is actually the inside Is the inside? I hate that joke. I hate that. Yeah Because it's big I used to when it first came on I loved it Mm-hmm. I was like fuck this is this is exciting and it slowly died to the point of now Where you ever hear that expression? Of course you have beating a dead horse. Yeah They they have taken the horse and fried it and made it it. I mean it doesn't work It hasn't worked for years because what they do is they have I think Matt TV did this a little bit too It's like here's a character. Here's a character. Here's her. I'm Al Sharpton

They never blend it yeah anything good they don't have a vision for this just sound pretentious But they don't have a vision for the show. Yeah, it's just like I'm I'm the mayor of right You know, they have like little celebrity impersonations and it's yeah, most of the sketches suck. Yeah, they had a little bump With the election and everything and it was like this intense thing that they were doing this political thing and Melissa McCarthy was doing sure She's not even a member the cat Melissa McCarthy is doing Sean Spicer and now it's gone. It's gone already. Yeah, it's already fucking gone It's not it's not a place for dissent right which it could have been Yeah, but they still it wouldn't be on the air. But even when we're I was on mad though They were still treated differently than us. They had they it was yeah, because no because what we would here's what I know

I know you would get off a mad like each one of us. We're done. I did eight years or whatever, right? And then we had to get back in line Right where they got deal and like here's a movie or you know, whatever we were like, oh, I had to do first read So, yeah, no, I hear you. I can't believe that. Well, yeah, I believe it. It's no I believe it But what did it? What is it? Is that Lorne Michaels pipeline? It's that pipeline, right? It's Broadway video. It's a machine Yeah, and he's been around for a very long time and have nothing against him. Well, I do and Yeah, I do fuck them, you know, I feel like they're kind of the worst thing for American comedy Wow, you hear me Michaels

You never fucking gave me Prick your product has been bland for 25 years or more You know what kind of just say something I just had a spiritual like experience Just now just them. Yeah, because you don't you don't give a fuck Well, I can't because I feel like if I say certain things there are gonna be consequences Right, so I don't say them. Right. Are you worried about consequences still? Well, if I say Let me just say something. I'm okay. I alright. I'm gonna give an example I was on a show called it was a cartoon with Seth Meyers called the awesomes. All right

I was a character on it. Okay, but when I first got it Lauren goes because it's Broadway video He has to audition and Seth Meyers was like, no, I offered it to him, right? Oh good Yeah, and Lauren Michaels goes no, I want him to read anyway. Oh, so then I said, I don't want to do it I don't want to do it and then two months later Right a week before we start doing it. Oh, you mean even though you said you don't want to do it They said no, but then two months later. They're like, okay, give it to him Right, so then I did it and I was like grateful like thank you. You are yeah And they made you grovel a little yes. He is what a power trip that fuck is

No, I want him to read for it. Yeah. Yeah instead of you know, he's a piece of shit And I say that with all due respect. Yeah So much respect. Yeah, I mean especially like eight years. I was on a sketch show, right? Seth called me and said I want you on the fucking thing, right? And then he had to so You know, he has a lot of power. So I came virus has a lot of power. No, Lauren Michaels. Well, I know that right So I that's what I'm saying is that what you just said is I would like to say that but I just never have said it By the way, but you saying that yeah, you just said it Hey, Michael

Hey, Bobby Lee, you know what he thinks to you. I'm not gonna say it and he's not gonna say it That's what I want you to stop thinking that you keep having to to Suck everyone's dick to stay on the inside. Yeah, I can't you just be exactly who I am right? You know and the people I don't know if this will happen because I I mean I believe this in a way But if you if you really just do what you do and then there are people out there who are gonna have projects and go I want this fucking guy. Yeah, and that's enough That's an appealing thing to know somebody lives by their own virtues

Who's not gonna waiver and who's gonna stay consistent in who they are versus, you know Always trying to appeal to whatever job they want at that moment and then you kind of become the guy Well, you know what that's like if you start pandering to everybody in the audience You don't do that though. You just go up there and you just do my thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know what seen the comics Who try who pander? Yeah, you don't like it. Do you what do they say like give us an example of pandering? Here's the thing between me and Eddie though is is that I generally and I I generally keep my opinions about other comedians To myself because of the fact that I will work with them. That's true And that's always me in the ass has a really you've never played a political game like other comic like I know he does

No, I mean, I mean, it's it is kind of stupid to like publicly criticize other comics Because you are gonna run into them and you might get punched in the mouth Yeah, but am I a coward for not saying my opinion about a certain comic? Is the question am I a coward? I don't think so. Yeah, I'm just I mean, you know, I mean, I mean Yeah, you're protecting what? Well, cuz I've been beat up before Yeah, he's been punched in the mouth For saying stuff about that. No, Ari Shafir beat me the shit out of me three weeks in a row Oh, you should what beating the shit out of our you let Ari beat

Really Yeah, I've been assaulted but I've been also assaulted by other people too like, you know picked up shoved against the walls And because I'm such a little guy, right? That's true. You are little while I'm getting fatter now But like before I was like when I was younger you would just handle me and just get like violent other comics, yeah For you saying shit about them. No, I just say things and then I know but I say things and then they get offended And then they get physical and like that's why a lot of times when I go on the road I don't meet the audience because sometimes they'll get drunk and pick me up

Like why you're funny and they'll pick me up and I hate it. I don't go see the people. Yeah Yeah, I like seeing the people you do. I know a lot of comics don't yeah, but I'm like, hey, how are you? Yeah, they have to like get away from me after a while Where you going? But you're going on the road a lot or no? Now do clubs, huh? No, I do I do I do and I have been traveling a lot more the last few years But I'm not like a road dog. I am not a road dog. I couldn't be a road dog But you know, I I do like, you know, definitely like 13 14 15 16 trips a year. Yeah

But here's the thing about you though, is that I'm being real Mm-hmm. Is it there is a certain vibe that you have that's a comedy might like you're a You're a thing Right, I'll give you an example like cuz we did it. It's so funny cuz I don't love when we did love, right? Oh, yeah, we did a table read for an episode. I don't know if you did or not, but did you do love? Yeah Yeah, I did it you as a the wrestling thing. I know I was the guy who screams and yeah Yeah, but you're in that. Well, I don't know what the scene was but I know that you were in it But I remember reading the script because this is before this you got the part

Okay, but it said in parentheses the part Eddie Pepitone that Judd had written in today. Yeah, and so I'm like Oh, it didn't look like you had you dad called you at that point But that's in their heads like we want Eddie to play this by the way, I'm pissed that they haven't called me for crashing Yeah, yeah, yeah, you know all these fucking comedian shows like I never get a call for this all these coming up I'm dying up here. Nothing. You think I got one fuck I know You didn't get one either. Are you pissed at that? No! I didn't go to Montreal! He really wants to go to Mines! But I'm like, I'm like if I can't fucking get comedian parts like oh this show cast comedians

Oh, I am sorry. You're not I'm gonna fucking kill you right now do what I'm gonna say because crashing has been out for one season They just are different. I know but they're starting their season two. They're they're they're way into it I understand them. No comedians. It's in New York. You don't live there. Fuck not like they can fly me You don't live in New York, that's what kills me to these companies are like what oh we got a higher local Because we're giving 30 million dollars to this guy. Yeah, whoever the fuck it is Well, I was just giving you a fucking cobble of saying that I think that I Think just not I think now people are like writing you into shit is what I'm fucking saying to you really

Yeah, I'm always I don't know about you, but maybe this is a comedian thing do but I'm always like fuck man You know, I'm not getting this. I'm not getting that like I see the glasses half empty. Oh, I'm the same way instead Yeah, that's being a comedian. Yeah, it's tough man. I'm not How do you balance that shit? Are there comedians though who don't see it that way? Who are a little bit out of touch and a little bit this is like this illusion about where they're actually at You mean that they think they're they're higher than they are higher than they are. Yeah, there's some guys like that and gals I guess, you know, I don't want to I know a couple like that. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I just want to say I don't want to say names. I don't want to say name. No, no, don't

I'll throw one who I like her but Eliza, right? Does she said a couple of things that we like she's felt so funny to me. Okay, let's move on See, it doesn't even feel right. I love Eliza. She's a friend of mine. Oh, okay. She is huge though. She's pretty big Yeah, well, she just had that thing but the same she said the only female. I'm the She say I'm the only female comic doing Interesting things. Oh, she called out other people. She basically said which was saying was I'm the only you know I want female to stop going on stage and talking about their vaginas or whatever. Let's rise above that I'm the only female and then someone posted a picture of her as a vagina. Yeah

No, really? I saw a little spat and somebody then pointed out the fact that her entire Instagram is all like Selfies. Oh, yeah. Well, you see that's the thing. You see she you see and this is nothing against Eliza But she put herself out there like that and got Slammed yeah, because yes, her Instagrams are just like hot pictures of her. Yeah Yeah, I don't know where I think because it's like I'm the comic. I'm the female comic talking about the important issues Yeah, you know, it's yeah, right. She what a funny girl though. She is so funny. Yeah, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I Mean you love, you know, I mean I love Maria Bamford. That's I love Maria Bamford. Oh, that's true, right?

Yeah, she's like people love TIG my favorite people love Maria, right? TIG is amazing to watch Yeah, TIG is like, whoa, I wish I could do it. She never I'm always screaming on stage and my voice gets cut to shreds She's like this. Hey, man Yeah, there were bees that got in my car today and it's just beautiful and it just flows and it's so fucking funny Yeah, and she never raised a voice more than like what's your deal? Yeah, but she's funny. I love them Judy Gold. He's my favorite favorite favorite. Really now you're pulling things now now like Judy Gold like who who's next Judy Tanuda? What's the Asian lady named Tamayo? Tamayo Tsuke.

Samkin didn't she was a she was the fuck if she was Look her up. She was a Japanese one of the first Japanese comedians as she headlined I when I open I've opened for her back in the 90s. She went crazy and She now lives in a jungle in Hawaii and she I'm not kidding. No, I'm just thinking of comics, you know She she she fucking she went crazy. She lives in the jungle and she eats cat meat like she has cats She showed me the pictures she hunts. There are a lot of straight cats though She used to be Sam's kinesis girlfriend. She used to be on TV shows. Was she comic? Yeah, stand up Was she funny? She would yeah, the only thing I don't like about her. She like I mean you look at someone like Ally Wong

Right who's very contemporary. Yes. She she doesn't have an accent. She doesn't talk about really Asian anything and it's she does Yeah, but still Tamayo wore a kimono You know man, she that was her thing. Yeah, yeah, I buy my feet walk on your back Well, you see when you pigeonhole yourself into that's like an SNL character like I'm only this person Yeah, you know what I mean? When did you start? Let's see I'm looking at the moon because we landed on the moon It was the greatest day of my life when we land a lot of people said we couldn't do it and we fucking did it, right?

What a great country this says no, I started acting and stuff Because I went to I did a lot of acting I I am you know, I started in acting classes and acting, you know and doing plays Not in LA, New York. I'm a New York guy. Don't get offended. I didn't Google you You like you didn't bro. I'm glad you didn't and so you took acting classes in New York, but what year? Let's see 20 when I was about 2020 so in the 1940s More or less. No, how old are you? I'm 58. Okay, so so that was 38 years ago

38 years ago. That's unbelievable. That is gone by way too quick quick So you did that and then you were acting in New York and then you well I first wanted to do stand-up, but I found stand-up when I was 20 to be Frightening and I used to throw up in In bathroom stalls before going out on stage. I mean and I used to ask myself while I'm throwing up I'm like, well, why am I doing this if it's killing me? Yeah, and the answer was And you kept doing it, of course, yeah, of course, but When I was that age, I was like, okay

I'm gonna start acting. I'm gonna start get you know, because I always did love theater and And And New York is a theater town, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's a big stand-up town, but I love plays. I did Arthur Miller's view from the view from a bridge. I did David Mammoth plays You know all that kind of shit and because I was too scared to go out alone as a stand-up at first I did it for a while for like six months and then I pulled back started taking acting and I did and I did comedy Improv then I started doing one man shows then back to stand-up and I finally was like, okay I can do stand-up without throwing up. Well, so of all the between Broadway and one man shows of all the things stand-up

Was the most terrifying by far. Yeah. Wow for me, but you know what I tell people this What are you in the beginning? I'm telling you in the beginning in the fucking beginning you have to Push your way up on stage. Yes, you have to go you can do what you have to do it You have to do it. I mean even if you're like even an open mic and you're up at you know at 2 in the morning And it's 10 and you have to wait four hours. That's still the internal dialogue like you're gonna do it You have to do it. There's no one in the crowd. It doesn't matter. You have to do it Yeah, but eventually what happens it happens for everyone instead of getting pushed you get pulled

And when you get pulled off on stage, it's like this. I can't wait to get up there. Oh, yeah I need to get up there. Why is this guy up there? Oh, you mean it evolves in yeah It evolved it just eventually switches. Yeah, that's the point where you want to get to yes, if you're constantly pushing It's not working out right right, but a couple of years in two three years in you're gonna wake up and go I have to go up. Yeah, but it's interesting I think there are people and you you could tell this to there are comment There are people who are just it's in their blood To be a comedian like there's nothing else that they were meant to do

Yeah, you know what I mean, and then there's people who are like, I'm gonna do stand up because it's a good venue For me to be seen and it's like it's like, you know, it's an opportunity instead of someone who just is a standup I was like a purist Am I what do you mean? You're you love stand up? No, but I don't know if I I don't know if I did it for me It's to an end or I don't know if I'm pure. Well, no, you've evolved into I don't know what I know But it's like what does my heart say? Folks I didn't mean to I

Didn't know this was gonna go in this direction. I didn't know there was gonna be an existential I would be with you is like when I book like I'm on a show coming out an ABC show, right? I got a pilot and fucking son of a here. You are telling me. Oh, I'm not getting anything I didn't say I didn't get it. I didn't get to Montreal this and I'm not getting I'm on three things right now. Fuck face Fuck face. You're going in another direction. I know I'm just saying me on fuck you man I'm gonna Montreal man Okay, I just want to go to Montreal. That's all about my point. This is this is that But so do I do stand up?

So that I can get all these things or am I in it? But because when I'll tell you why when things aren't going well and Kalilah when I met my girlfriend It was not going well. Yeah. Well, you were doing okay. No, I wasn't doing well. What did I have going nothing? I'm gonna say this right now. I'm gonna say this to the fucking world. All right, I believe I said this to Theo Vaughn today Mm-hmm. All right, I believe I wouldn't be where I'm at today without Kalilah. Oh, I mean don't know I think that it's not a situation. No, I'll tell you why why I'll tell you why because a Couple years ago. I had this audition where it was like 19 pages of dialogue I didn't memorize. I didn't have it down and we were at NBC

I was in the parking lot and she was in the car with me and I go I'm not going in Yeah, I don't know what bad habit of not following through so I would have a lot of these big He lived in the outcomes that he didn't want to actually work for and it was they had zero structure I lived it. I lived in the results of things which like it to me. It's like if I didn't know something Backwards and forwards and memorized that I would think I'm not gonna get it anyway. So I'm not gonna go in Right, right, but she goes Well, you're a fucking pussy boom and I go I don't know what you want me to look like a fool She goes I'd rather have you look like a fool in there and be a man

Right then be a coward and We got a huge fight In front of like in the parking lot in the park. So I go fucking bitch. I go fucking bitch. I'll show you That I'm not gonna get I'll show you I'll prove it to you. I walked in there and I literally read it like this Like I didn't you know, I got it. You did this. Just create eyes of the page Yeah, I got it like a network pilot Holy shit, and then I so what I'm saying is is that for love? I'm on love, right?

She made me go in to love. He didn't want to go They don't like me or you know I'm in yeah, so what I'm saying is is that She you know four years ago nothing going on I met her and I just she gave she's given me the motivation to go out and fail You know, I think you know when you were a parallel when you're talking about first doing stand-up You needed to push yourself there. Yeah, I'm just pushing you there and what now you're feeling like you're are you Hell no She's the host the show It's incredible to me like watching it from such an outsider's perspective because I've always just been either in the medical field or always

You know I was a biochemistry major So it's nice to have someone not in industry show but I've always had at least the discipline or the structure which was Not he works. He's chaotic and that's part of his appeal But he just needed just a touch of structure not a lot of structure I'm very chaotic too, and I like that. I think that's what I find attractive about him. Yeah, your wife. Do that motivate you Yes, yes, you go. She's good. You and I need to be in these relationships. Yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I feel like I would be nothing without her. Yeah, how does it feel? How long have you been married Eddie?

Four years four and a half And but we were together seven before that Oh, you met her based on comedy. She was a fan. Yeah. Yeah, I mean she was also a writer Right, so she gets it. Yes. She oh, yeah, she totally gets it. Yeah, she's not that you're not sexy You know what you said But I'm because you're not Delia But right right, right?

Yeah, you know I know I'm not no, I'm not I I you know I used to I don't get offended that much in my it's Then I can get it going even further How hard can I push this? Yeah? Yeah, I mean, it's like you got a kind of a mr. Mugui kind of thing Hey, you don't look human You totally fine with it. Yeah, like it's human version of the guy from up No, but what I'm saying is that but so she you you're married Are you backpedaling Yeah, no, but you're cute. What's it feel like after 11 years?

Do you still like I always well, I think you know, I think that Everything, you know relationships. I mean this is so cliche, but you have to kind of fucking stay in there It takes a lot of courage to really stay With someone and to really like go through shit I mean, there's no any couple that stays together you have to go through You know stuff together and have to be willing to go through that and you know, it's like it's like a commitment It's a commitment to growth really, you know things they either grow or die You know and I think relationships go through that, you know

Sometimes they go they go follow and then and then you got to make you know kind of recommit It's not easy. I mean anybody will tell you that who's been together for yeah a while How long you guys been together for years the longest relationship I've ever had is that right? Yeah Yeah, this is by far the longest one for you. Yeah, we were married before or no what I was never married Yeah, so you must have been your love. I mean that's love. What's that? Were you in love? Take it easy. I Mean much you must have said, you know, I'm gonna buy a ring and yeah do you feel as though Sometimes when it's such a well-oiled machine where we're in our fourth year now we're things we don't use oils

When you've been together you you've you understand each other's boundaries everything seems to kind of move along You know well and easily right it becomes At least for us you sort of lose a little bit of the romance because it is so efficient It's true, and I sometimes think that when there's more romance when there's a little bit more chaos or I don't know about chaos. I don't know if chaos is the word or a little bit more romance when there's more uncertainty Yeah, I don't know. I think that when things are going good and they're smooth You know that that you know you just have to kind of make an effort to put the romance in yeah, you know what I mean Oh

Yeah, we need effort. Yeah, you could do yeah, well, it's it's hard because we have these animals You know really we try to fuck last week with the dog in the room possible it was impossible Yeah, she barks. She tries to protect me. So she's not true. Yeah, she blocks my body. She doesn't want him So it's your dog. Well, no, she doesn't want physical You have to be you know, you have to also take take the dog into your life more I think The dog doesn't block. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, the dog is sensing something. Yeah You have to be friend eat the dog pussy. I don't know far. I didn't say Because I do

That's all that may be why the dog that may be why the dog is blocking you But do you ever do you want to do you want to be on like a network show and do that whole game? I Would I would love to be yeah, I could see it. Yeah, I would love to be and that's that's part of my You know my anger my my that I haven't been on one, you know, yeah, it's like fuck you guys You know what I mean? I think I honestly believe that you're fucking close Yeah, well, I'll tell you why I'll tell you why because For me, you know the show that I'm on. It's just an offer Didn't get picked up yeah

Jenna Fisher Oliver Hudson, you know, it's an Oliver Hudson. I don't Kate Hudson's brother. Oh, okay, and some very funny, you know White guy and good actor, you know, he was a Nashville. He had he did it right sit come with David Spade But my point is is that you have a vibe about you that I feel like Somebody's just gonna call you one day and go they want you to test for this And you'll go in you'll test you'll get it and then it'll have get picked up We'll see it's no I really believe that now because you're because I see it at the store, right? Yeah, you're getting spots at the store at really nice spots

Yeah, right. You're not getting the midnight spots. You're in the chunk where all the people that are on fire are Yeah, right. You don't see that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't see that you're in like that. Yeah, where like all the good people are Yeah, yeah, it's cool. Why do you think that is? Why do you think they made a documentary about you did you know that no if you go to Netflix not Netflix you go to iTunes right now Yeah, there's a fucking documentary about him called Eddie It's called what's it called a Buddha. Oh, yeah, what's it called the bitter boot? Okay, I'm gonna look at my iTunes now. Okay. I'm an iTunes now, right? Mm-hmm. Everyone look at what it's called what bitter bitter. Bitter. Bitter. Bitter

Bitter Yeah, yeah, I have to spell it out for you the bitter Buddha right there boom the first thing right bang right there dude The bitter Buddha right there dude Amazing. All right. Look at that and guess what it got 94 percent on rotten tomatoes. I can't believe that That's what that's hard as fuck. Yeah, that's what it says. Yeah, do you know that? I wish it would sell better I know, but do you know they got 94 for I didn't know that no because I don't know if you're like this But I don't like to watch myself in anything. Yeah, are you like that like if you're like oh, you like to watch it Oh, you hate it. Yeah, so I when that film came out

Um, we did tour with it. Yeah, and so I would watch it a couple of times and I'd be like you couldn't do it Yeah, but I watched it and and I really liked the movie. Yeah, Sarah settlement's in it, right? Yeah, yeah, who's in it? I haven't seen it yet. Well, well a lot of you comics tell me who's in it Well, that's a sour has a little thing, but they're little testimonial I'm like, but what do they say? Who are the testimonials Dana Gould Sarah? Zach? What I'm saying is this is that When they make a fucking documentary about somebody, right? And you have a Zach Sarah Silverman

All these fucking guys Dana Gould saying wow, we want to be in this documentary That doesn't make you feel good Yeah, yeah, you know, you know how it is No, fuck none Listen to me right now Look at me right now You're getting prime spots at the store. All right. They're making a documentary about you 94% on rod to me I know they already did it. All right. It's you're good. It's gonna happen

Yeah, yeah, it is I don't I don't completely believe that. Yeah. Well, I believe I believe it and when it happens I'm gonna say fuck you. I told you so Fuck you bitter buddha. Okay, because I'm right now going into networks Um pitching a show with the big time director. Wow. I can't I shouldn't mention it. Yeah, you should you know why? Why should throw that under the universe? You should say things out loud because the thing is is that they just manifest fuck none bobcat gold's weight Uh, it's not gonna make

I love bob. He's the greatest guy. He's the greatest guy. I love him and he's super super duper hot Because he's doing a show for true TV now called monsters and myths fit monsters and misfits Which is like a Twilight Zone show and he's doing Bridget Everett's show on amazon. I love her So you're pitching the show. Are you getting meetings with networks? Yeah, why do you think that is? Why because they fucking They don't fuck with waste their time you fuck it asshole. Yeah But you know how it because you're I think you're the same type of personality because when we first started this show You were like fucking I'm not getting shit and mean when I come to find out you're gonna be on an mpc

ABC offer offer only That's great though. I don't know. Are you feeling good about that? No You said no, you'd like to tell you what I'll tell you can I just say this? Okay Is I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm a recovering alcoholic All right, why'd you laugh at that because I know it. Oh you do. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a recovering alcoholic All right, and I went to an a meeting today. Uh-huh at one And I spoke at it. I hear now you're bragging. I'm not bragging. I'm just gonna say this was that offer only who booked it Michael's more

Look make him if he's gonna fucking leave this meeting Then make him give at least five minutes of this opening pitch I I literally when I was doing this at this meeting. I go. This is what was missing From from my life. I think as of late it made me feel like because there was like The sick kid that was in the audience like in the audience, but in the room and I talked to him afterwards And he was just like you really help me out like, you know, oh, yeah, you know, and you just to me It's like, well, that's what I think that that's my Real ultimate purpose if there is a god

That that would be my purpose to help my fellow man And it made me feel like for the first time that felt better than Me getting that show to be honest. You just got to get out of yourself. That's like that's true it's such a burden off of You know off your shoulders when you just remove yourself from yourself. That's the key to life I really believe that is to get out of yourself and baby. That's the fucking greatest thing I've ever heard you say You really have to get out of yourself. It is very true because I go around all day going

Why didn't I get this and what the fuck and then seeing a billboard at this town there's so many billboards? What the How the fuck does he get a billboard? Yeah, that fucking big By the store, it's really hard. Have you done that? It's like driving like glow all that look at all the glow It's like, um, yeah, and then when I went up to mark marron last week and I go congratulations. Like Ah, yeah, I'm like, see he's now doing it What is that about comics? It's it's it's like we always are are like feeling like no, I'm not doing that But I'm gonna say something a message to the people listening right now

And this is pure and this is real Nothing will fix you Shit I know but listen no matter what you get And I'm telling you because you're you know, no matter what you get what job you get it for a second You're like, oh, I can you know, oh, I see what you're saying. You're still left with yourself Interesting, right? I always think big money's gonna You do I think it's gonna fix a lot of things. Yeah my leg

I shouldn't have said that I'm at the age where people like oh fuck It doesn't it doesn't but you know people go like bullshit Something okay. I know I know like I've gotten you know big guest star parts or whatever on on sitcoms like malaney show That that fucking got canceled right away. I cancel a lot. I feel like I'm on a lot of shows If you you don't have that kind of power. Yeah, I know but I've put some shows to bed. Anyway, I was Oh, you're the cooler. I'm cooler Who's uh, who's the guest star this week? It's a pepper tone. He's playing the uh the dirty uncle. Oh, fuck

Why what's the matter Ted? No, it's just that I worked on a On a show with him in the studio burnt down the day he was on it That's funny. That's that's a funny character sitcom my cooler It's like number one for like two years in a row the guy guest stars that goes Down. Yeah, he does like modern family next week. No numbers Those motherfuckers. Well, I might get hired on there, but they didn't they didn't uh, they didn't pick me on this one role And I was like, oh, fuck. Do you know how much money these fucking guys made? Oh, it's something like like Eric stones tree. Oh, oh, they said for life, right?

For life syndicated a week for three lifetimes $250,000 a week. But guess what? Here's the thing about that. What that will not fix stone street And he's a broken man. You know what he said while he was on this podcast He said that in the comedy world he he he doesn't feel like he fits in with your you guys. Yeah, well, he doesn't Think and that's not a thing against him. Yeah, because he's not a fucking standup I know but he feels he doesn't feel like he's part of the club. He wants to be where you are My leg is broken He wants to get the respect from the cool kids. He may want that. Yeah, he may want that but the thing is and he will not get it But the thing is is that but that's the point. You're never happy where you are

Ah, yeah, I think there's some truth to that because wherever you are It kind of excludes those other spaces like in other words if my path had been a huge sitcom star I wouldn't be at the store. I don't think right. I don't think yeah, you'd be too busy Marin has kind of a perfect career right now. I mean like he's got the podcast He's got the cool the aspect now. He's got club. You know what? I mean? It seems to be like almost a perfect little career. He's doing it. You know Everything he's done does make sense to his world though. Yeah, it's not as if he's like, you know, the next Captain America

You know, but I was told too that like even someone like cloney Will hear that someone else got a lead in a big movie and he'll be like Fuck No, I mean god, I mean I've heard a shit like that like no matter how big you are That human nature. Maybe it's just human nature. It's human nature. So you do a Nestle commercial. Yeah Well, I don't know what did it really do. It was a coffee drink maker. Yeah, it's Nestle. It's Nestle. Wow. It's just horrible Yeah, just 20 million of movies doesn't that's not enough. Well, dude think about the residuals Like I'm happy as shit when I get a residual for $1,100. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah these guys get

Like quarterly. Yeah, their residuals are just insane. I mean they can buy a house with their residuals. Yeah, their residuals They're like fucking making so much bank and they've got to go to Nestle It's like no, they're sell-out shits They really especially Samuel Jackson who I hear his movies combined Are the biggest grossing movies ever like he's the biggest movie star money wise. Wow all time of all time all time Yeah, and he's got to do capital what's your and what I love is that he's still like kind of a tough guy like What's your wallet? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What no no no no. How about what's in your fucking wallet? That's my question you fuck

What's in your wallet and why are you fucking asking me what's in my wallet? You trying to embarrass me? That's why steve oh when I did that. Okay, so when steve and oh and I did Some sort of billboard awards were presenters for some fucking bullshit right back in vegas back in the day And steve oh was drinking at the time and he was our my co-host Hmm, like co-presenter. This was a billboard award. There's something some fucking reward show and samuel jackson Was the host of it. Oh, he was right and so during rehearsal steve oh was drunk and we're going to the podium to do our thing and samuel jackson's over there And steve oh just starts going you fucking sell out

He's saying that to jackson's face you piece of shit You're doing this Like he was saying it and then samuel did it and I'm sweating and you're doing you're doing the billboard thing Yeah, like hosting this. Yeah, whatever, right? And then he ran backstage Squeezed a woman. Oh, yes. He squeezed a woman in the butt and he got banned from the mgm grant for life. Oh my god. Yeah Did jackson respond to him? No, he didn't he just pretended he didn't hear it, but I was there Yeah, my point though is is that I just I don't know

That happened Oh, uh, I don't remember the point but earlier before the podcast started You were talking about losing weight and you seem really obsessed with that. Is there a reason why? Losing weight. Yeah, he was like looking at the mirror and he yeah I got sad and I looked at the mirror and I go I really really have gained a lot of weight Have you and it's really sad that you guys are in my life And you haven't said anything because I just looked and I'm for the first time in my life

I went wow, I'm really a fat guy now. Are you serious? It do am I bad? No, I don't think so be real. Yeah, like if you were to describe me to somebody that doesn't know me What does bobby lee look like? What would you look like? Yeah, I'd say a big chunk of love I don't know how to how would you say you would say asian Yeah, asian. Yeah. Yeah asian kind of rock and rock and roll guys a stand-up an actor Um, cool looking dude, you know long hair mustache asian But but but you don't yeah I love you so fucking much. So but you're not either are you man?

Yeah, I would say like every phone funny like like fat guys Who don't want to go through like cutting down on their food intake? So they're like they just do these self-help groups where they go. Listen, man, you're not fatty either, bro Now let's go to canister celebrate Right What does eddie pepato look like he's an older macaulay colkin? Like he doesn't eat at all, you know, man, like but he I read that you are vegan. So you're very healthy, right? No, you know, yeah, I'm the vegan. I'm vegan and I do that first because animal rights and then I do it

And and and so a side benefit is is some health But you know, you could eat like shit too when you're vegan like you could eat french fries and a lot of carbs But do you do do that? Sometimes sometimes it's a tough diet for me two dogs Two dogs and four cats But yeah, what do you guys have three cats and one dog? Yeah, that's nothing I know but I'm glad that you know that makes us closer. I think

We love animals too. Yeah. Oh you do too. Well, I what they live in my fucking house. I know. I know. I love that I just fucking I take it a little too far I take it a little too fly. Why? Well, you know, I'll take my dogs to the movies with me No, drive-ins. I go to drive-ins. You know, there's drive-ins solo. All right All right, and they're like they're like they love aniston for whatever reason and they're like Whenever aniston whenever aniston comes out, they're like So you have like probably a box set of friends that they like they watch, you know Friends they love friend, but they don't like fucking parry. I don't know what the hell that is

They don't like parry. They don't like swimmer. Well, we had time man. We're over 50 minutes. That's amazing Now listen, how far do you go 50 minutes? And then we do a question and answer thing and then we're done Oh, good. Okay, cool. Do you have anything to plug? Um, not really my my my my netflix special jeff garland is producing my new netflix Special I love jeff. He's a cool. He's really he's taken me under his wing He put me in his netflix movie called handsome That came out a little while ago Detective either detective. Yeah. Um, you know who's in that too. Um

Doc willis. Oh, really? Yeah, what does he play? I mean chris red. He plays one of the uh, oh chris reds in it too He's chris reds. Jeff garland helped doc doc willis isn't that? I was so happy. I'm so happy for that little guy Um, so he's gonna produce it. I'm gonna film it in the fall sometime. I don't know Can I just say something about him? Yeah, he got me kerb back in the day He did I did kerb. Yeah, and I didn't get a kerb though. It's fine. I did It's but it's coming back right or it is back. Yeah, but He walked me through the audition like he was like it'll be fine. Breathe. You know, I'm like, he's a great guy Yeah, I love jeff. Yes. He's been super super cool with me. Sweetie. Sweetie. Sweetie. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah

He gave me this fucking badass guitar right before we started filming I mean this this thing handsome. He was like, we just started talking about music You know how he is. He's so spontaneous. I mean the reason he kind of co-created kerb is because the guy is just like Fucking he lives in the moment and yeah, I was just started talking about music. He goes you like music You're like, who do you like? Like I said, I I said, I love guitar. I always dreamed about being the lead guitar He had his assistant dropping off this fucking And kick-ass Gibson guitar within an hour. Oh my god. Wow Is it when Russell Peters gives his openers gold watches?

Are you serious? Really? I got to open for Russell. Yeah, me too. And then he sell the watch. Yeah I mean, it's like People get free shit like that. Yeah Anyway, so we do a so we do an answer Question question and we answer it from a fan. It's called unhelpful advice So it doesn't have to be helpful. So where did this question come from? This isn't live from the no It's not live, but they email it to us and we pick one. We go Unhelpful advice with Bobby Kalilah in any aka. Fuck you Lauren. Pepito

Hello guys, um huge fan of the podcast. I'm a 36 year old male I recently completed my bachelor's degree from Fresno State. I was a marine from 99 to 2003 stationed in hawaii I've always dreamt of returning back to Hawaii to live However, my mom lives in the same town. I did and we lost my dad and her husband in 2008 She is disabled and I'm basically her only company slash friend I want to go back to Hawaii, but I need to be there for her as a caretaker for her I'm the only one that can do it. What should I do? Take care of your mom. Yeah, absolutely. Stay with your mom and

And Bobby's like maybe not. No, what would you say? You answered it already Oh, what is your what do you say though? I would say that You're in a situation and there's no other option. Does he feel like he's missing out on his life because he isn't in hawaii? It's his dream to go back because yes, is there any way you could relocate your mom with you? That's an option. Yeah Because let me say this my dad's sick You see yeah, my dad's sick And that's Kalaila. I'm always thinking about my mom

For the day that he passes. How long have they been together? 50 years How old is your dad? 75 My point is this is that it's in my head So if he passes I gotta move my mom into this so I'm gonna gotta get a new house Yeah, I'm the reason why I'm trying to get this show. What about a new house? I gotta get a new house

For your mom? No, I gotta get a house so that she can live with me It's a bigger space. You get a bigger space. So what I want to do because I have a dog and three cats I want to get a house with a guest house And so I'm praying that we got picked up for this abc show But I'm praying that he gets picked up for a full season because we only got picked up for seven episodes Right, right. So, you know tv can go either way. So I could get lucky and it could be like a little mini hit and that'd be great Mm-hmm, but that's always in my head about my mom. So my point is is that you should take care of your mom

Do it, right? Well, right and it's like you almost it's like you saying that you felt so good today doing The speaker thing at the meeting helping and that's the way to go Right, that's exactly what I'm trying to say. Yeah. Yeah, and also How is that for it's not the easiest way to go But you know this woman's wiped your ass. So it's now it's time to wipe her ass It's as simple as that Uh, I didn't say is she terminal or just disabled?

Uh, it doesn't say but they can't move to hawaii because of her disability and she's get she has all sorts of messes in the house That he has to clean up after so she might have dementia or something. Oh see if dementia is a very very hard thing You cannot Yeah, dementia is different Leave her it wrecks Yeah, don't buy her a house if she doesn't know who you are anymore me No, that's a question. That's a good question. Bye mom. Is that okay if my mom doesn't know who I am Can I go well?

You're gonna live here in hawaii But just put her in like some place in culver city and hire an actor to play you or no I mean if you don't if they don't know Yeah, then is it okay to put them in a home? No, you know why because for me if you're someone who cares about Her physical comfort beyond just her knowing you. Oh, I care about who wipes my mom's butt that she doesn't get a rash from You know poor caretakers or she doesn't get how old is your mom? Oh, my mom's young and fit She's like a young Arnold. She could kill everyone in the room. Yeah, she's a buff buff woman But my dad was considerably older and he died when he was 79 and this was in 2003

So my dad was born in 1924 So when I was 19 in college, I had the same predicament Do I stay in college or do I go home and take care of my dad because but no one else did but my mom She wasn't she didn't have legal status until So she was working under the table at that time and barely making eight dollars an hour. Okay, so I said, okay You know what? I'm gonna forgo this full swimming scholarship I'm gonna take a year off of college go home to my dad

And take care of him because it was a no-brainer for me Who was going to make sure that he was fed properly or he was that what you did? Yeah, that's what I did and it was the right thing to do and when he passed I went back to college He didn't have dementia though, did he but he had when you get to the end of the road You start to get a lot of like changes in your mentation because of your electrolyte imbalances and the medications that you're on So you're very confused a lot. Oh, I know. I don't know what the fuck is going on Where am I? Hold it the GPS says beachwood drive I thought why am I on beachwood road? Yeah drive road

Don't want people to know where I live, man That's number one don't want people know what street I live on Okay, we're moving soon. We're moving soon anyway, but thanks, dude You're the one what I didn't say who that was what I didn't say who I know but still talking about George. You fucking put that nail in the plane But just randomly you're gonna sleep with drive GPS. That's something that happened earlier. You fuck not Haha Thanks, I was is this clinton street on clinton road. Yeah, hold it clinton lock. How did clinton lose the trump?

How do you fucking lose? The Donald trump. That's okay. Okay before we end. Yeah, I just want to know how someone like you Gets through this daily business of trump. Oh, what's hilarious is that? I don't even fucking pay attention to an accept accept accept when I when I when I do hear stuff like Like trump, you know, the the head of the environmental protection agency just for one example is a guy who and this is what his You know administration is like is a guy who believes in no environmental protections. Yeah at all. Yeah, and I heard recently I'm a big animal lover that they made it legal to hunt

Like bear in yellowstone or something when I hear something like that I don't know if I have that right, but like like he has relaxed all these restrictions on You know development. He just doesn't give a fuck then I get rageful Yeah, yeah, and I don't know what to do. Yeah, but I mean you luckily I have my you're powerless Take it easy. Luckily. I have fucking standoff right Where that that there is an outlet. Yeah for that, but what does that do? You see what it does No, I don't know man

I don't know what the answer is to that because I do get enraged, but most of the time I just said I'm going about my life. It's like when they like the yule and dog eating festival. Oh, right that they boil dogs alive Right, those are people. No, they're Chinese, but Koreans do it too. Yeah, Koreans. They all do it Not quite in the same magnitude as Yulin, but you know, yeah, but anyway, to me seeing the dogs in the cages Do you see them alive being boiled like dogs that look like our dogs? No, yeah, well that happens. Well, that's unbelievable to me. Yeah, and what I'm saying is that you get rageful Yeah, me too, but what do you how do you live? You you know this, but you're powerless

You walk around you're like, I don't know what to do I know Because my head talk about it on stage. What am I? I know. I know my head goes to just getting a gun going Just No, but I mean that's what I had to do like I'm yeah, john wick. I want to turn into john wick I don't that's a shit movie and I love it. I love john wick. Really? Did you see it? No? Yeah

This is a shit movie I haven't seen it. Can I just say this? No, I want to be the guy who reviews movies. He's never seen it. I'm telling you right now. John wick for for what it is very good for what it is. Whatever the fuck that means Bro, okay. Yeah, compare john wick. It got better or fucking rotten tomatoes than fucking No way, no way better. No way. Yeah, compare john wick to kurosawa There's two difference. Oh, you know why you would like john wick because he I don't like violence No, but he goes mad over a dog a dog. He seeks vengeance all for a dead puppy. But here's the thing These movies and I haven't even seen the fucking you're a piece of shit What you're about to say, but anyway go ahead say it. I want to hear these movies and this is most of hollywood

It's just violence. I don't give what the excuse is. Oh, he's pissed about a dog, right? So then that's an excuse for the rest of the movie. He is he just he's killing slaughtering everybody He's slaughtering everybody and people think that's a good movie Which fucking kills me right that the taste of people we are so numb No, i'm serious We are so fucking numb as a society now that we go into cinemas to see on a huge screen violence What the fuck is up with people there is so much violence in the world yet

They want to go see more of it right on a screen The gore you're the better too. What is it? What is that about because they know it's not real and Oh, it's like a cartoon to them it entertains them. I think people it's a difference not that bright anymore let me ask you that what's the difference between something like john wick and the french connection or Taxi driver check out the french connection now. There wasn't I don't think there was one goddamn fucking murder in that movie Taxi driver that was a fucking horribly violent movie and I think scorsese is is is is a fucking chump

Trump and lord michael's scorsese Well, I mean I mean scorsese does a lot of violence. Yeah, I mean It's a lot of violence like he glorifies it. These guys glorify violence. They romanticize it. This whole gangster shit This whole gangster, you know the mob and you know, joe peshy who by the way does snickers commercials Joe pay by the way to see joe peshy Also, william defoe these are like And now defoe is doing he was in some kind of dress you remember that one. Yeah, what was that for was that? That was for snickers. Yeah another snickers one. Oh, that's right. That's right. Yeah for snickers force

But he was also very funny though. He was also in the dress and boondock saints remember Oh, is that why he did that? No, no, no, but i'm just but these guys right man, but you did joe peshy But i'm not if I had been if I had joe peshy's career, right I don't think I'd be doing snickers, but maybe maybe I would who the fuck knows. I mean the money your credibility goes Come on if you're an artist anymore No, you're right not anymore. It was like that when bill x was talking about it, right? I love bill x I love what is is that now We have but that's a problem. We have a capitalism as a president before trump

That's way before but now it's different though because look at everyone's just consuming and we're all addicted to fucking gadgets It has nothing to do with trump I'm just doing this This has been happening way before trump the whole society has become this corporate wasteland We really live in a fucking wasteland. This is a wasteland. I know No, I know I know i you know what I but you know fucking waste a wasteland of corporations and all these fucking billboards and And consumerism and half the country's in poverty 50 of this country is in poverty and people like they're going to see john wick

I have to take a shit now, but um, I really yeah, because I've fought it like 19 times Oh, is that what's going on? Yeah, my stomach hurts a little bit. So well, dude. One thing I want to say is you're not fat, bro You're not fat. There you go. And either you Now you said that with the laugh and I didn't say it with the laugh. I closed my eyes too. Either or you Okay, you look great. You're like makaulie colkin That is the funniest reference. Yeah Any prep atone everybody? Oh, that was great. Thank you. I was I was really saying I was saying to these guys. I don't know them that well

I don't know how's this gonna go Really? I said in an accent like that Eddie you have a podcast too, right? Yeah, I want to plug that really quick. Yeah. Yeah, I'll plug up pep talks on all things comedy We're at all things comedy too. We're in the same family tiger bellies on all things comedy too tiger bellie. You go to the party Yeah, so we're all the same So pep talks on all things comedy. So pep talk tiger bellies on all things comedy. We're all under the same umbrella And this is a great thing. Oh umbrella. Yeah. Thank you. Eddie. So much. I love you so much Download bitter buddha. We'll be right back with some cleaning house guys

Peppetone I like singing up He's a legend. He's a legend. He's he's beloved in the comedy community. I love him on Conan I was like, he has such warmth like every so often like just the warmth that exudes from him. Mm-hmm. So very genuine genuine Uh, george, are there any things we need to run like in terms of like any surveys or uh survey.lipson.com slash tiger belly. We still need a few more of those. So please go help us out with that and uh Oh, yeah, and remember to get your uh sheets from uh, brooklynnan.com with the promo code belly repeat that brooklynnan S-b-r-o-o-k-l-i-n-e-n.com promo code belly. That's $20 off. Bobby and I have been rolling around in those sheets very soft

So soft. We like it. Um, yeah, so guys, uh, we are going to talk about MMA. So if that is not your thing Goodbye. Bye MMA minute with Kalilah Just after we were talking about john wick being awful. Yeah, I know violence I was like I wanted to take get his take on it because I know that he watches You know, he's he's a movie buff, right? but if you martial arts is

Is not what I consider to be Violence to me, especially those movies. I feel like that's an art form. I mean, you're not choreography. Basically. Yeah Yes, we're doing some house cleaning right now. You want to join in? It was good. We're good. You were great. Everything was fine He does a lot of this self-doubting afterwards Um, yeah, so you thought Robert Whitaker. Oh, yeah, you don't want to weigh in on the MMA minute, sweetie Yeah, well, yes No, stay right there. George. You're fine. Yeah, that's fine right there seats. Um, so Robert Whitaker Robert Whitaker

I'm gonna tell you about Robert Whitaker right there, man I'm gonna tell you about he's my new Stephen Thompson. He's my new He's my new white and shining armor Except he's like I know what he's hapa ish, but um, he's got a skill set that no one else has He has a different determination that nobody else has and he has A um a really nice um nature about him demeanor demeanor

Yeah, you can tell like when michael bisbing was trying to start heat at the end. So stupid, right? It made him look like a fool because you're doing it in front of purity You're doing it in front of um A celestial celestial Celestial a celestial. I like trio better. That's celestial. Yeah being an ozzy And um, he's very good and he's gonna beat michael bisbing when they fight Oh, yeah, and he's gonna be our new champion

I believe that but my other great white hope. I hope he'll fight him Luke Rockhold. Oh, he's your great white hope. They're both Now i'm gonna go for Whitaker over Rockhold Rockhold has powerful kicks though. No, I'm just saying in terms of who I want to see as champion Yeah, but he is kind of boring Whitaker. No, he's not boring. He's not you're the oh my goodness That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life. Me too. You fish-eyed fucking fucker There's a difference between someone who's boring who is legitimately boring and someone who's in who doesn't say much But is highly intriguing. He's intriguing. He's thinking he puts his head down. He puts his head down and he does the work

He has a high fight IQ. He's celestial. He's celestial. He's celestial But something about him is very intriguing to me. You know what? You're right. He doesn't he comes from a fucking ignorant shit, dude You're fucking bullshit is ignorant, dude You know that there are a lot of appreciate it neither does robber Robert Whitaker There are a lot of fighters I feel who are very who are much more vocal who are much more You know trying to like incite the chaos but who are so boring to me But there is something very zen about him like when you listen to his corner in between those rounds

You're like wow is this guy? Like he has that out to the corner by the way, dude. They were just giving him it's a sif They trusted their fighter so much that they weren't giving him any technical advice very simple after the third round One of his cornemen was like now it's getting interesting and then Robert Whitaker gave a little chuckle And I was like what the fuck kind of corner is this? It was like a fucking meditation after for one whole minute It wasn't screaming. So there's something very intriguing about this guy. He's a family man He just puts his head down and does the work and I really just appreciate that for a change

You know like ever since ever since the the whole age of Conor McGregor. Yeah, everyone now thinks that Let's just try to be our most like Um, um, what do you call this like let's just incite this type of like drama or drum up some Some excitement by being loud and being controversial And I think that what Robert Whitaker does is just he he he puts his work out there And he lets it speak for himself and I applaud that to no end the only reason I say boring. It's more It's more I'm worried because I know how the UFC works and like what they did to Amanda such a great story I feel like you know didn't even promote her for the past three fights

Yeah, and then she's complaining like she's the first lgbt fighter right for that community Didn't send her out for interviews for magazines because her interviews are just Not Conor McGregor and now it's WME error. So I don't think like Robert's born. I find him intriguing But it's like it makes me worried that you better fucking push this guy I hope they don't they don't fuck it up. Look for someone. I hope that Robert Robert Whitaker stays the way he is now He is so extremely lovable as he is. He looks like an introverted type. He looks like a definitely is You know and to see a lot of people will rally behind that kind of personality Believe it or not as long as he continues to fight the way he does and you can see him thinking even when when when

When um, yo, well had him down you can see him thinking of his exit talking about that. I use the scramble part I was watching it. It was fucking matrix. He like he sat down It was like romeo will do something and then boom switch switch. Yeah, and yo, well romero is not some fucking You know chump rezzer. He's a silver olympic medalist. First of all, sir You're not 40 years old because you're ridiculous. Yeah, man. That guy's body was a fucking machine 40. Yeah, god, but I really I'm a big big whitaker fan. Um, and um, I hope that he goes very very far And he's very young. He's only 26. I hope he he's gonna beat michael. I'm gonna call right now. I have him over I do like michael though. I have michael's great, but he's gonna just be honest one more fight. He's done

I think he said it. He wants one more fight. Yeah, he should just save his face He's got a career in great analyst. He's a great analyst. He's a great personality overall I think you should just spare some brain cells and save the rest of his face because I like him What about did you hear about gay guard masasi going to bellator? Uh, big news. I did and that is what a waste That's on you the ufc. They slept on him, man. What an ass. I love gay guard Yeah, see he's to me. He's like another He's like robert also

That's why I feel like ufc even though these have these talented fighters. They don't value it when especially now with the wmi era Yeah, era. It's like they're not valuing these guys as fighters. They're like, can they sell paper views? No, you're right Which is so annoying to me because you losing gay guard is ridiculous You're gonna keep diluting the talent if you keep doing that and like look at the middleweight division now with uh gay guard Law gone and now it's robert is really your only young 26 year old like gay guard was a 29 just turned 30 or something like that Everyone else is like in their mid 30s now. So it's like you're losing all your young talent. Yeah, that's a good point

Oof, what a mistake. Um, what about this whole Nuna's thing? Why do you think I know that she said leading up to the way in that she was feeling ill But she got according to Dana white and I again, I I don't know why this guy just speaks on behalf of fighters as if he's ever like actually cut weight himself Yeah, I mean I know I'm not He obviously knows a lot more like 50,000 times more than someone like me But you know I I

When I look at Amanda Nunez, look, she's not my favorite fighter. I don't find her to be likable Whether she tries to drum up controversy or not I play you and your sister loved her when she beat me. I respect her. I respect her fighting style I love to watch her fight I would watch pay any pay for you to watch her fight. I just don't like love Love her like she bugs me. There's something about I mean she got for fucking whole name tattooed on her back Oh, yeah, tell me I was like, yeah, man. No, that's not she's like I was straight up. Like did you hear the news?

Amanda dropped out and the first thing Klaus says that tattoo Gross But you're you are right. It's a pretty Amanda Nunez the lioness all like and you're fucking I would never get my full name on my bag, you know But I just like your back koala or on George's back George Kimmel. Yeah I look I've done some I I'm not one to talk about what she wants. It's her skin. I don't care What's it to me, right? Your face says otherwise Your face says something else. I don't I don't absolutely love her, but she's a fucking incredible fighter. I was just

Very confused because if you're medically cleared to fight Let's suppose if you're not running a fever Let's say you have a head cold You're still medically cleared to fight a lot of fighters fight with a cold a lot of fighters fight when they're anti on Antibiotics because a lot of them get like staff infections or whatever, right? If you're not currently running a fever if your electrolytes are else if you're if the doctor says you're cleared to fight I wonder what was stopping her. Is it something that we were unaware of like did you read anything else about it?

I will say this. I'll defend her and say because of the way money is structured in the UFC She's champion, right? She came from nothing, right? So she came from what $25,000 to fight to now she's doing what three to 400,000 and she's champion So for me, it's like I'm out of fighter. So that's why I'm never like oh, you're people calling her basically a pussy Like she's scared to fight Valentina. It's ridiculous. Yeah, but why would she be scared to fight Valentina? She's a fucking she already beat her too So it's like but the fact that she pulled out it could be a mental thing where she like she doesn't feel a hundred percent Right, and if she were to fight Valentina and lose that then you lose everything the new house you bought for your mom

The the plans you had with your new wife to get all this new stuff It's like I think it was more like she probably was under the weather Probably could have fought but it was like way out the pros and the cons Self-preservation, but it also isn't a good look and I think that you I get it, you know At least look, I'm not a fighter. I don't have to sit there for five rounds Our livelihood is not fighting I know that when we would have like a swim meet say for instance like And if if you were racing that day unless you had a fever you kind of didn't have an excuse you took

You know, let's say if you had a full head cold you swam with a full fucking head cold And you work guys go in there with full injuries You know like no one is really going in a hundred percent because that training camp really wears you down You know and um, I think that I know you're saying I I was that's what I was alluding to is whether or not you had read more because I know It must have been more than just this like I'm not feeling well I knew it had to do with yet. There was a bigger story to it Whether it was you know her

Yeah, she hasn't spoken since monday and she hasn't spoke out Uh, I know Ariel tried to get her on the MMA hour, but she's declining everything right now So nothing I was really excited for that fight me too Me too a pity and I love bullet. She's so sweet. Her dance moves though aggressively good How do you move that fast man? Excuse me, ma'am. How do you move that fast? Whatever country? Where's she from? Poland? No, no, she's from No, she's not I was going to see Dagestan. That's a question. She's not russian Um, no, no magomedov. Oh nice. Um Somewhere eastern european. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but I found it's so cute

And I love her so much more now because she flies her sister out every time she fights You know, I have a thing for sisters. I know because callela has a sister And I get it and then one more fight before we jump off here, uh, anthony pettis Okay, he looked great, but I was talking about the fight the night before Oh gachi fight of the year. I don't know if it was part of the year because I was really confused as to what was happening What do you mean confused because it was like these guys were just slugging like he Michael johnson was borderline comical It wasn't sloppy. I don't think it's sloppy is a lot of fights. It's like korean zombie. That's sloppy. That's winging punches

I thought they were still technical in a sense. Of course, they're fucking technical But from from my vantage point I was like these guys are just going for it in in a way that Like they weren't really protecting themselves. They keep they kept catching each other over and over again So that's why it was entertaining to watch, but I wouldn't say the most technically sound fighting I'd ever seen Technically, but this year. I feel like there haven't been that many good fights this year. That was a fun. That was a good main event If you guys haven't already seen it go fight Michael john Michael johnson and um, gachi It's a little cross-eyed little cutie

And then after the fight he tried to celebrate, you know people like climb over the octagon And then they do this they raise their hands. He climbed over the octagon three times three times and he kept falling down Because he was so tired and he had brain damage. Yeah, probably his his cross eyes were uncrossed He just went back to normal. He would climb fall down climb again and he finally got when he was about to do the back flip I was like, oh, don't do it. You're gonna break your back. I know Dude, you're still halfway knocked out right now. Yeah Um, but the anthony pettus jamiller fight was really good. I thought anthony pettus looked like his old self I didn't know jamiller had Lyme disease. I read that somewhere. His brother. I thought him too. Oh, I don't know

I just I know why his brother retired was because of Lyme disease. Maybe I'm confused Maybe he doesn't maybe he doesn't because I was thinking god if he has Lyme disease and he's able to work through Like, you know, because it's like up and down up and down you go through months of feeling just complete brain fog You heard it here first. Kalilah says jamiller fought with Lyme disease Breaking news. I didn't know Bobby was like he has Lyme disease. It's like wait, what pretty sure you heard his brother There's a story that his brother has Bobby tells me some bullshit cleared for having you can fight still Oh, yeah, because oh, okay. I don't know. I mean, it's not like contagious or anything Four days later anthony pettus. You heard it here first anthony pettus now has Lyme disease

You get it from you get it from a white-footed mouse in the east coast or a deer tick I don't know a tick that infects the white-footed mouse and some deer and it's Never mind. You get a bullseye rash and then you have to get like prophylactic antibiotics. But anyway, so Went deep balls Uh, anything else guys Uh, yeah, well more hold on. Yes. I do. I have to announce Bobby's dates. Shit. I should have done this earlier It's okay. Just earlier. Hopefully you've tuned back in to back is we're done with the MMA minute um, Bobby will be

in Tempe, Arizona, um I think the 20th through the 22nd and then salt lake city the 28th and the 29th at wise guys And um, those are our dates for now. Cool. Cool. Uh, you can also check more of those dates on bobbyleelive.com by web designer kalayla You do keep it up Sometimes, you know, you know what? I really annoys me. What would really grinds my gears I shouldn't say it. Uh, what very family guy of you When people text me like hey, Bobby Bobby's website is down

I don't really some shit like it hasn't been updated. Like do you want my job, bro? Doesn't look Now you're just gonna get a whole bunch of messages. Yes. I want your job. Yeah. Yes, claire. I would love your job It's unpaid. You guys want it? And you have to fuck Bobby Once a month on a full moon You get fed though. A lot of korean barbecue. A lot of korean barbecue. A lot of blue apron. Yep blue apron. Okay All right, uh make sure you follow us on tiger belly on instagram at tiger belly on twitter at the tiger belly

And email us any unhelpful advice questions to the tiger belly at gmail.com and mail us anything if you'd like Uh, for your stuff to be open on the vlogs. You can do that by sending it to Oh 16 20 go ahead george 26 north wilcox number 161 hollywood california 90028 Oh, and you can follow kalilah on all social media at calamity k. That's k-h-a-l-a-m-i-t-y k and george kimmel at instagram george underscore kimmel Kimmel all right guys. That's our show. Wait. No next week is our 100th episode. Oh, Jesus christ Well, we'll be figuring out what we're doing, but i'm telling you right now. We figured it out. We figured it out. It's gonna be fun guys

Wait, what have you guys God damn it. I hate when you guys think should we see some of this stuff? Yeah, no, it's gonna be fun You'll you'll know about most of the segments Except for one Do I know? There's no surprises guys. No male stripper is gonna slap his ding dong on your face george cancel the male stripper Uh, but yeah 100 episode next week. I'm excited about that. Yeah, it's gonna be exciting and we want to thank everybody Um who has been with us

For all 99 episodes. We appreciate you. We love you and um, we hope you join us Oh Hey prime members you can listen to tiger barely ad free on amazon music Download the amazon music app today or you can listen ad free with wondery plus in apple podcast Before you go tell us about yourself by completing a short survey at wondery.com slash survey