TigerBelly - Esther Povitsky & The Spaghetti Factory Girl

Episode Date: February 21, 2024

Bobby's Drugstore June co-star Esther Povitsky stops by. Also, Jamie hangs out and gives us an update on his post-TigerBelly life. We chat Bob's Superbowl story, iCarly, body count, Steph Rogan, pet chow mein, melting mayo, and full sex.  "Understand. Learn. Discover. Then Discard." - Bobby Lee Go to www.zocdoc.com/belly and download the Zocdoc app for FREE. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. That’s www.zocdoc.com/belly Go to www.prizepicks.com/belly and use code BELLY for a first deposit match up to $100! PrizePicks: Pick more. Pick less. It’s that Easy! Stop wasting money on things you don’t use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney dot com slash BELLY. That’s www.rocketmoney.com/belly Introducing THE A BUNCHA WOLVES COLLECTION BY CHUBBIES Find your inner wolf... and put some shorts on him at www.chubbies.com   

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He hated everything on the menu. And the kid's menu. Why? He prefers Subway over to whatever this whack-a-mole is. Because they had this thing. It was a 50 shroom steak, and I don't like shrooms. He doesn't like mushrooms. No, we're going to take you to a nice restaurant.

We need to open your mind. I don't know what these guys took me. What are your favorite foods? Wings, tacos. And then pizza. Pizza. It wasn't real pizza, it was just sauce with bread. He ordered the kids pizza.

You know where you should take him that's really close by? Easy Street. The Smash Burgers right here. I like Smash Burgers. Or Hi-Ho. Hi-Ho. Easy Street. Easy Street's better Smash Burgers right here. I like Smash Burgers. Or Hi-Ho. Hi-Ho. Easy Street. Oh, Easy Street's better than Hi-Ho?

I mean, Smash Burger is Smash Burger. What'd you eat? Nothing. I watched this documentary last night about Miyazaki, Studio Ghibli. And I want to be like him. In what way? Not draw. Japanese?

no there was a scene where retire and un-retire yeah yeah yeah there was also a scene where he was like you know this artist comes up to him he's sitting there

and this artist you know drew something that Miyazaki wanted him to draw and he goes to Miyazaki he goes

what about this? he goes no if you can't do it quit draw. And he goes, to Miyazaki, he goes, what about this? He goes, no. If you can't do it, quit. He was that harsh? Yeah, and the guy went back, right? I go, that's what I want to be.

The power of it. I like it. No, because it's not a, hey, just do it. Do it right. Am I not right? Do it right. Do it right. So if not right? Do it right. Do it right. Yeah.

So if you don't say funny things in the next five minutes, quit, dude. Quit comedy or? No, I'm kidding. Not you. I like your face. Should we tell the audience who this is and why he's here? Oh, yeah. Jaime. Jaime.

Jaime. We were Barboza. Yeah. Ralph Barboza. Ralph Barboza came a bye. We liked him on the side. And then we go come back and just kind of sit with us every once in a while. Do you have an update on – give us an update on your dating life?

Or even better, tell them what you told me about your success after Tiger Belly. The body count. Tell me about it. Since every episode aired, my body count went skyrocket. How many? By three. Skyrocket. That's good. Three is a lot. How many? Like three. Skyrocket! That's good.

Three is a lot. For him? Three is like a thousand. Wait, and how long ago was that episode? Like only a couple months ago, right? Two months? We had a sold-out weekend.

Well, I didn't. Ralph did. He had a sold-out weekend in San Jose Improv. And that weekend was like my... Yeah, that's right. So you all three in that one weekend?

Uh-huh? Wow! If you do the DiCaprio Jaime scale, three is a thousand for fucking Leonardo. It's a skyrocket. That's pretty good, dude. That's like Leo doing a thousand. Ralph was proud of me. He got me a piercing, but I took it off right now.

Oh, you did? Okay, good. Thanks for showing us your ear. Yeah, it's not there. It's going to close back up if you don't keep it in there. Was it because of Ralph or was it because of Tiger Belly? Tiger Belly and my 10-minute set. Really? What were people saying to you? What name were they calling you? Oh, so I went on stage

and a lot of people were chanting, Ernie! Hey, what's up, man? Because you called them Bert and Ernie, remember? Ernie! What's up, Ernie? What, what's up, man? Because you called him Bert and Ernie, remember? Oh, Ernie. What's up, Ernie? What's up? You good? Yeah.

Yeah, go ahead. I had a body on Thursday, Friday. A body. A young, beautiful lady. A human, maybe? Yeah. I had this girl on Thursday. I call them meat holes.

So you had a meat hole Thursday. Meat hole Thursday is what they call it. A lovely young lady. Well, she was, okay, yeah, she was lovely. Thursday and then Friday. Let's go back to Thursday, okay? Thursday. No, but let me, she's in your hotel room.

We went to the club. I know, but after, you fuck at the club? No, we were at the club. I met her at the, you want to know where I met her at? You just said the club. No, it was a the club. I met her at the club. You want to know where I met her at? You just said the club. No, it was a gay bar. Okay. What were you doing there?

We had another comedian. He was... He's gay? Yeah, I think... Gay bars are really more fun. There's more girls there, so... I know. So you went to the gay bar. You met her.

I met her. And then you went to the hotel room? Yeah. So let me... Now we're in the hotel room. I'm the girl. Wait, how did you get her back to the hotel room? Let's talk about this. My set she went. So let me. Now we're in the hotel room. I'm the girl. Wait. How did you get her back to the hotel room?

Let's talk about this. My set? I know. But. No. But do you say something? Yeah. I said.

What did I say? Something about spaghetti. I can't remember. Of course. The classic spaghetti line. I know. Would you like your spaghetti firm? Or like a little.

I'll definitely. Oh. She works at the spaghetti factory. Oh my God. That's his favorite. I want to fuck her now. You want to go? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. We can go. She said free spaghetti for you. I love spaghetti factory. What did you get there? Spaghetti Factory. That's his favorite. I want to fuck her now. You want to go? Yeah, yeah. She said free spaghetti for a year. I love Spaghetti Factory. What did you get there? Spaghetti. Meatballs. Okay. I get the half and half.

I get a mushroom sauce slash the other... Moussatra. The cheese. Moussatra. Moussatra. Let's move on. We're in the hotel room now, right?

Do you talk for a while? Yeah, we talked for a little bit. What did you guys talk about? Well, let me be the girl. Jaime. Okay, I'm trying to remember. No, let's do the scene. Look at me right now.

Do you know how to act? Yes. We're learning now. Okay. Jaime, very good set tonight. Thank you. I don't know why she's Asian. Yeah.

Very good set tonight. Yeah, yeah. Who's here? Esther. Jaime, a set tonight Yeah yeah Hey Who's here? Esther Jaime good set tonight Thank you So What are we doing in your hotel room?

I have this bottle And you know Maybe we can drink in And then See what happens Okay And did you go in for the move? Yeah

She went in for the move I was so scared Tongue kiss No no tongue Just Thanks for showing us really and that's it

yeah and then she kissed my neck and then my ear yeah you gotta react hard huh at first no I had whiskey okay

it took you a minute yeah it took you a minute you had whiskey dick yeah whenever I had whiskey do you know her Esther yes hi Esther how do you know her

I've seen her on iCarly at Hardy iCarly iCarly. Ed Hardy? On iCarly. iCarly. Those are switch seats. Why? Because she was on iCarly.

No, this is a huge Esther fan. Knows all her... Nothing. He's a super fan. Hi, little ones. Hi, little ones. Hi. Hi, Esther.

How's the baby going? Good? It's big. Brewing. I love it. You have the perfect roundest, really symmetrical belly. Is it supposed to be symmetrical? I mean, my boobs are not symmetrical, so if the belly is, that's a problem.

There they are. Were they before, though? Stop. They've never been, right? Stop. Just stop right there. I've never seen your boobs before. Really?

I used to show them to everyone. I refuse. Makes you want to switch teams? Yeah, I do. I've never seen your boobs before. Really? I used to show them to everyone. I refuse. Makes you want to switch teams? Yeah, dude. I'd rather see dick. Oh, my God. I'd rather see dick, dude. Yeah.

Have you switched teams? No. You never kissed a boy? Maybe after San Jose, I was like, eh. Maybe. But how do you feel about gay lifestyle? My cousin's, he's gay. So, yeah, Bobby, it's his cousin.

Oh, your cousin's gay. He was at a gay bar when he met that girl. But your cousin, you're supportive of all his fucking endeavors. Yeah, at his wedding, he married a nice guy, Greg. Oh, Greg? Yeah. Oh, good. Black skin and white, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're proud of him, the family? Yeah. Yeah, you guys don't care about stuff like that? No. Okay. I think my uncles do, but hey. What?

My uncle. They care about it? Yeah. What did he say They care about it? Yeah What did he say? Hey bro No he doesn't speak English How old are you? Me?

I'm 27 Where did you What is this? What do you mean? That's so rude That's a Mexican That's so fucking rude It's a Mexican

You live in LA You've never seen them? Esther? What like What is your Who is this? Go ahead We had Ralph Barbosa on And he's Ralph's best friend and opener.

And he's now one of our, like, intern projects we're trying out here. He's a side guy. I'm a project. And you've seen me on iCarly? Mm-hmm. So you watch the reboot? Mm-hmm. Who doesn't?

I was explaining to him about, they didn't know who Dan Schneider is. Oh. Who's that? Oh, you don't want to know. It's like Weinstein. Don't bring that up, man. No, I'm just saying. Okay.

Yeah, I want to talk about that. Is he a part of iCarly? Not anymore. Okay. Was he? Okay. I'll just say this. He's the creator of a lot of big Nickelodeon shows.

Good. Very good. Anyway, let's move on from it. Cool. Bad guy, though? Did you know him? Let's move on. I did not know.

He was not a part of the reboot. I didn't know Harvey Weinstein either. Let's move on. Let's move on from it. Anyway, a lot of bad people. So Esther's here. Esther Povitsky. Povits with a T, not an N. Give her a proper intro. I. So Esther's here. Esther Povitsky. Povits with a T, not an N.

Give her a proper intro. I'm so sorry, Esther. He's never gotten it right. Can I ask, do you know my last name? Povitsky. Because when you were on Joe Rogan, and you started talking about the movie,

you were like, it's starring Esther. It's a movie. Like you totally. Because I'm going to kind of be completely honest with you. No. I want to, please. Because we're friends.

Okay. Christina has the same problem with me. Oh. I just don't know how to do the V's and the Z's and all that stuff. Well, I actually, I love, you always used to say Pavanko. Yeah, that's better. I like that. I think where he gets caught up is the T.

Instead of Pavitsky, he says Pavinsky. Pavitsky. I've heard that. Pavitsky. You say N, you usually say N. Yeah, but Pavitsky is the right way. Yeah, Pavitsky. I also want to say, I don't care at all.

But Christina does. Oh, really? Yeah. I don't. She yelled at me once. What did she say? She goes, get it right. I have a problem with the video.

That is true. There was a woman, this Belgian woman, I introduced myself to a long time ago. She had just gotten like a hip replacement. And this is when I was a nursing student. And I came in the room and she was like, what's your name? I was like, oh, my name's Kay. And she was like, Kay.

She's like, is that short for something? I was like, yeah, but it's like a complicated name. She goes, no, tell me your name. And I was like, it's Kalilah. And she was like, that's short for something? And I was like, yeah, but it's like a complicated name. She goes, no, tell me your name. And I was like, it's Kalilah. And she was like, that's a beautiful name. Your parents put a lot of thought behind that name. Why would you shorten it to just one letter? I was like, oh, it's hard for people to catch on.

She's like, no, it's not. It's an easy name to remember. She's like, don't fall for that. Okay, what's the point of the story? What I'm saying is you should learn people's names. Not everyone is a John or a Mike. Or Greg. Or Greg. Yeah, that's true, Greg, either.

And Povitsky's not that hard. Povitsky, I got it. I want to say, and I usually always agree with Kalilah because she's prettier than me, but in this instance, I don't care. I actually thought it was funny when you didn't remember my last name on Joe Rogan. No, I do remember it.

I know what it is. I just sometimes I say it right, sometimes I say it wrong, you know? Right, Jaime? Yeah, is it Jewish, the name? The last name is technically Russian. I know it sounds Polish, but it ends in a Y, so it is technically Russian.

No affiliation. Jaime, what do you know about the jews like the history of it just explain it to me like i'm a kid i don't know anything tell me about the jews i'll just show him steph rogan movies what steph rogan movies jewish steph rogan steph rogan what was i saying what stephogen. Oh, you said Steph? Steph John. Oh, yeah. He has a broken jaw. You know Judaism through Seth Rogen. He explains it through his moves.

Yeah, I guess. Yeah, he's Jewy, I guess. Yeah, yeah. That's the only thing you know. Yeah. Do you see Schindler's List? Too long. Have you seen it?

Too long. You tried? I tried. I was in the red balloon scene. I just fell asleep. There's no red balloon. That's it. There's a red scene, I just fell asleep. There's no red balloon. That's it. There's a red, yeah, that's it.

There's a little girl with a red jacket. A red jacket, yeah. There's no balloon, though. No balloon, yeah. I don't think there was balloons back then. Yeah, they had balloons for a while. Wait, when were balloons invented? I'm sure in the 40s there were balloons.

There have been balloons since probably the early 1800s is it red jacket yeah let's move on from that it's like a red dress there's a little girl a little red dress 1824 like I said

did I say early 1800s yeah why were they invented I don't know a professor made them from hydrodrain experiments with hydrodrain there was a

when I went to elementary school there was a movie they showed every year change list what no not as a kid oh in the 70s When I went to elementary school, there was a movie they showed every year. Change list. What? No, not as a kid. Oh. In the 70s.

Oh, 70s. Was it made then? It was called Little Red Balloon. You ever seen it? No. It was a short film. Look it up. Little Red Balloon.

And it is... And I got in trouble because the last scene, to me, was so funny. And I laughed in class and I got yelled at by the teacher. What happened? Le Red Balloon.

That's it. What's it about? It's about balloons. And about this kid. And his balloon, he was obsessed with this balloon. His balloon, I haven't seen it in 30, 40 years.

So just let me just, you know what I mean? It won an Oscar. It's a great movie. But I guess he's friends with this red balloon and some bullies pop it, right? And he gets all sad, right? Have you found that funny?

That's not the part. That's not the part. What was funny is then all the balloons in France come to him. At the end? Not in the beginning. Yeah, at Not in the beginning, at the end. Yeah, at the end. Uh-huh. Right?

I guess he goes, and he grabs it, all the balloons, and he floats into the sky. I thought that was the funniest thing I've ever heard. Well, it says that it's supposed to be a comedy, so I don't understand why laughter isn't allowed. Is that funny, being lifted by balloons? It's cute. People were sad about it, you know what I mean? but I was just like, he's going to die. I mean, this sort of reminds me of this story that Esther knows very well about where I had a pet chow mein noodle for weeks.

I know. I've heard about it. Yeah, I had a pet chow mein noodle. I was really lonely going through a lot of childhood. What was his name? Joey. Jerry. Oh, Joey.

How old were you when you had the noodle? She was 19. I must have been like eight or nine. And I think that it was like right after some bad things happened to me. And I put a string around this noodle and I dragged it around for weeks and it was my pet.

And one day, like just like the balloon, losing the balloon. One day, my sister accidentally stepped, the kid losing the balloon, one day my sister accidentally stepped on Jerry. She killed Joey. She killed Joey. Yeah, yeah. And my life fell apart for weeks after that.

I was devastated. I noticed you said that was cute. Does that make you, do feelings come up for you? I do. Because it reminds me, I had a matzo ball. I tied. We called him Jewy very similar

to Joey yeah it was little Jewy but little Jewy was dry you know what I mean so he's like

when you drag matzo ball it's like it's so wet it just clumps up with dirt and it falls apart really easily

so Jewy died in a couple hours you know do you believe So, Chewie died in a couple hours, you know? Do you believe in healthy lifestyles? Zoc Doc. Zoc Doc. Zoc Doc, guys, is my favorite thing.

You know when you want to go to a good restaurant? Yeah. What do you do? You go to those apps and go, what's the best restaurant? And I look at reviews. Exactly. Why wouldn't you do that with your body and your health? ZocDoc is a free app. That's exactly. It's free. And it's a website where you can basically search and compare highly rated

in-network doctors near you and instantly book appointments with them online. It's so easy. It's a one-stop shop. You see all real reviews. And honestly, for someone like Esther and I, who have a lot of strange little ailments. I've also just had so many bad experiences with doctors where I'm like I need to read from a real person what their experience was with a doctor. Or their bedside manner.

Let me suggest something to you then. ZocDoc. No, yeah, thank you. You can filter specifically for ones who take your insurance, are located near you, Esther, and treat basically any condition you're searching for. The typical wait time to see a doctor booked on ZocDoc is between just 24 to 72 hours. That's it.

You can even score same-day appointments, Esther. It's been a very important tool in my life. Thank you. Go to ZocDoc.com slash belly and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash belly. ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash belly. ZocDoc dot com slash belly. Prize Picks. Prize Picks is the easiest and most exciting way

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It's just you against the numbers. And it's so easy to play. Esther, I know you're not, you and I are not big sports girlies, but it's basically as easy as looking at a couple names on your screen and saying whether or not you think they're going to score higher or lower than a certain number. Sometimes I like to play just to sort of like get my man to think I'm, you know. Sexy?

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first deposit match up to $100. Prize picks. Pick more, pick less. It's that easy. You know what I used to do? Because I grew up in Chicago where it's like, you did too. It's so cold there. And in the winters, before I would go to school, I would be so cold, like so upset that I had to leave the house.

I would put my favorite stuffed animals, I would line them up, wrap them in a blanket, and put them in front of the heater, just just so they could stay warm. Whoa. That's so cute. That's so cute. You think? Yeah.

Let's go back to balloons or no? Anyway, did you ever pet anything? Me? Yeah. Yes. What? I had to think about it. A dog, that's it.

Wait, Jaime, can I ask you more about your broken jaw? What did they do when you broke your, like, what were you playing, Red Rover? Yeah, Red Rover. And then, do you know that Game Master where the kids, like, lock arms and you're supposed to, like, break through it? So you couldn't break through it and you got caught, like, right here. And I went backwards. And then you broke your jaw. And how did they attempt to fix it?

I don't think they, we're in fix it? I don't think they... We're in Mexico, so I don't think they attempted. Wait, you're playing... They just left it. You're playing Red Rover at 27? No, no, no. I was... Yeah, I was five or six.

And there's Red Rover in Mexico? Yeah, my sisters, they brought the game over there. So what is it? No, they didn't bring it over. What was it called? Roja Rover. I don't know. Roja Rover?

I was too young. Okay. I don't remember. They call it something else, though. They don't call it Red Rover. That's insane. I don't bring it over. What was it called? Roja Rover. I don't know. Roja Rover? I was too young. Okay. I don't remember. They call it something else, though. They don't call it Red Rover. That's insane. I don't know. Okay.

I think you made up the story, to be honest. No. I have x-rays. No, I believe your jaw was broken. I can tell. But you got knocked out? Mm-hmm. I went into a coma for like a couple hours.

I think what happens is a guy just went, hey, what puto? And just punching the fucking... You've been in a coma? For like seven hours? What do you What happened? Isn't that just sleeping? What was it like in there?

You're passed out. Yeah, you're just sleeping. I'm just pitch black. Yeah, I've done that too. You've been in a coma? No, but I'm gonna black out for seven hours. I don't call it a coma.

I don't think you call it a coma. That's called sleeping at 10pm and waking up at 8am? Yeah, you were taking a nap. It was the middle of the day. Yeah, nap. I was six. Six-year-oldsm.? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were taking a nap. It was the middle of the day. Yeah, nap. I was six. Six-year-olds take naps.

So you were like, you were concussed. Oh, concussed. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if it was a coma. You know what a coma is? A seven-hour coma because of sleeping. Okay, concussed. I've always wanted to be in a coma.

Okay, I was out for it. I know. How long, though? Well, I would, if I could go until the pregnancy's over, I would do that. Oh, just like hibernate until the end? Yeah.

Does it hurt? It's just uncomfortable. Like you could feel it? Yeah. Do the days start to feel longer and longer as you progress? Every day is different, but it's just, I don't have, there's not a lot of room in here, and it's just, I'm uncomfortable. Is this your lot of room in here and it's just I'm uncomfortable is this your first kid?

yeah are you excited? she's so excited should I be? I don't know I don't have kids you have a kid? no I don't

but my sisters they have a bunch of kids so yeah I know people with kids too it's fucking insane what you're saying you can't relate to her

at all yeah you can't you shouldn't have said anything okay okay so shut the fuck up Jaime I love you thanks for being here You can't relate to her at all. You shouldn't have said anything. Okay, so shut the fuck up, Jaime. I love you. Thanks for being here, but shut the fuck up. It was nice, though. A young man to take interest in a pregnant woman is actually very nice. Yeah, but you can't relate

to it. It's like, hey, bro, you know, my sister, she had kids, so it's like, what the fuck are you doing? Well, my sister's tired too, so. Yeah, I get it. All right. Does your mom have kids? Yeah.

She had 10. She had 10? She had 10? Which one are you? The fifth, I think. Right in the middle? Yeah, yeah. That sucked.

I'm the only boy. No. Nine girls. They're all sisters. Yeah. No, be real. Okay, seven. There's seven girls and then just me. So there's They're all sisters. Yeah. No, be real. Okay, seven.

There's seven girls and then just me. So there's eight in the family. But you said 10. No, it was 10 of us, like my mom and dad. Oh, you included them. That's right. That's good. That's true. I'm a family of 10, my mom and dad, my seven sisters, then me.

How did you cross the border with all of them? I was already here. I think I was here. Wait, when were you here? When I was born. Oh, so you did Red Rover in Mexico? Yeah, they took us back. Are you fucking lying?

I just caught you in a lie. No. Listen. Okay, go ahead. You were born here, and then you went back to Mexico and played Red Rover and that's how your fucking jaw got fucking broken? He went back there just for that.

There's no way. Why? Why would you go visit family in Mexico? So you visited family. We were visiting Mexico. Okay. Yes. And then that's when you broke your jaw

and then you came back. I came back. Okay. You swear to God? I swear. I have x-rays. No, I know you have the x-rays. We got the x-rays. You could have had that in Houston. No. back. Okay. You swear to God? I swear. Okay. I have x-rays. No, I know you have the x-rays. We got the x-rays.

You could have had that in Houston. No. Okay. Okay, go ahead. All right, let's move on. Sorry. Go ahead. You're insane.

So seven. Seven. How many people are in your family? I only have one older sister, but she's eight years older, so I'm mostly an only... I have all the bad qualities of both an only child and a younger sibling. Oh, yeah. It must be tough. It is.

Are you on the south side of Chicago? No, the north side. Oh, the safe side. Okay. Yeah. Wait, what part are you from? The Burbs, Naperville area. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Further up there. You know much about Chicago? Oh, yeah. Why? We had shows in Chicago, and it was a bad experience for me. Why? Where?

Why? We're at this club. What's it called? The Mine. You're always at clubs. I know. What club did you do stand-up at? We did the Zany's.

Oh, Zany's. Old Town, yeah. Old Town. Did you do good? Oh, yeah. I did good. Okay. I did good Zany's. Old Town, yeah. Old Town. Did you do good? Oh, yeah, I did good. Okay. I did good. What happened to the mine then?

The mine is a nightclub. What happened? I picked up a girl. I just like, oh, hey, you're cute. And then she turns out to be an escort. And she was charging me $600 for the night. That's not a lot. It is for me.

Did you pay it? For the whole night, $600 is a steal. It was four in the morning, so I was like, it's not a lot It is For me Did you pay it? For the whole night 600 is a steal It was 4 in the morning So I was like It's not worth it anymore But was she hot enough? No she wasn't

If she was hot enough You would do it No I mean You don't have the 600 No I was just the opener So like Okay I don't make that much

Yeah I feel like If I was young And I was out And a guy hit on me Maybe like If it was going kind of well but i was just whatever it could be interesting like a few hours in to be like actually so this costs money because that's a really good point you're making because

we hook up with guys for free anyway so you might as well switch the narrative lie last minute and get a little bit out of the experience. That's insane. That's absolutely insane. And then make him feel really good when you're like, you know what? I think I'm done with this life. You changed me. Oh, yeah.

And then never do it again. Oh, so I saved him. Yeah. Then it fills that kind of. Can I get my money back? I saved you. So now, you know what I mean? No.

Is this only for like good-looking guys or average no like if you're already cool I'm sorry I'm sorry Oz I'm sorry you're not average I'm below average no I'm just saying I average your special okay different category thank you you're my category category to be charged no I get charged too I get charged too I'll go there with you we're comedians

but we're also misshapen wait Bobby are you okay to tell that story about that girl who confessed later on late in the night that she actually her whole thing was to like scam celebrities but like she thought you were too nice to scam oh yeah yeah can we tell that story that's

a really great story yeah i could tell it um this is the first like we we had been broken up for like a month maybe yeah a couple of months and i hadn't hooked up with anybody and i went to the improv and I hadn't hooked up with anybody. And I went to the improv. Okay. And there was a girl sitting at the improv. I mean, a 10.

Like a gorgeous. And I sit next to her and she looks at me. She goes, hey, I ate next to you once. I go, where? She goes, Sunandang. Which is like a 24 hour. That we go to in Koreatown. Right. And I go, do you want to go now?? She goes, Sunandang, which is like a 24-hour. That we go to in Koreatown.

Right. And I go, do you want to go now? And she goes, okay. So we go to Sunandang. Wait, that's so fun. Yeah. To get invited like right now. Yeah.

So we're at Sunandang. We're eating. And I'm just like, oh, my God, this girl is so pretty. I go, do you want to go to Weespa? After that. She goes, no. She looks at me around the eyes. She goes, I want to make a confession.

I'm an alcoholic. Okay, that's good. And she goes, I want to go to this wine bar downtown. A whiskey bar. It was like a whiskey bar. So I take her to this whiskey bar. And I get her drunk. What?

She just told you she was an alcoholic Yeah She was like an active alcoholic Well, not recovering Yeah, okay She wasn't like, let's go to an A meeting No, she was like A wee spa is the most sober, wholesome thing you can do She was like, no thank you, let's go drink

Let's go drink Okay So then I buy her drinks there And we're at a table And all of a sudden she disappears No, thank you. Let's go drink. Let's go drink. Okay. So then I buy her drinks there and then, and we're at like a table and all of a sudden she disappears. Like I like turn around and she's underneath the table.

She blows me. At the place? Oh yeah. In public? Yeah, in public. I couldn't believe it. I teared. People were walking by like,

did someone die in the family? I'm like, oh no, move on, move on. I was, it was, I couldn't believe it you know what I mean and then after she goes what now it's like two in the morning

did you finish yeah no no I can't I've never well you maybe you've made have you made me

come through yeah but it's rare but like the last time I tried really hard and I was like here watch porn it didn't work it didn't work at all

yeah yeah I'm sorry let's not talk let's move on I remember that time though you do remember that time she told you he like tapped me on the head he was like just stop and I was just like I had worked so hard like it was like Olympic level

no I had a referee whistle okay half time's over it was his birthday it was his birthday and he tapped me on the head he was like, thank you. Okay, okay, okay. You're dismissed. Where's this whiskey bar at?

Just for a friend. Downtown. Okay. Can I ask a stupid question? Is it Seven Grand? No. Edison or Seven Grand. What is a whiskey bar?

I don't know. It's a bar where they have whiskey and stuff. Just whiskey. Different, like a good variety of whiskey. Okay, okay. Yeah, anyway,

she goes, let's go to a hotel room. So I went to the International Hotel, It's like a good It's a nice High end Whiskey Yeah Anyway She goes Let's go to a hotel room So I went to the International hotel Whatever And we go to my room She gets naked I mean honestly

She was like Stunning Like it was You know Not as hot as you I hate that you Always like Pretend to protect

My feelings I don't care She wasn't as hot as you I'm being protect my feelings. I don't care. She wasn't as hot as you. I'm being honest. Why can't I be honest? Okay. You know what I mean? How hot was she?

Pretty hot. One through ten? Nine. You called her a ten earlier. Ten maybe. She's a ten, so nine. Thank you. You're welcome.

Let's move on. We didn't have sex, but we did everything else. Why no sex? I don't know. Isn't it blowjob sex too? No, it's not. Yes, it is oral sex. It's part of it.

Part of it. Okay, yeah. It's still a body, right? So then I... I wouldn't count it as a... Yeah. Body count technically is like full sex. Yeah, for me, body count is full sex.

I hate that word so much. What? Body count or full sex? Body count. I like full sex. I like full sex, though. I mean, you do it in gang terms. I don't like it.

Body count. When you say body count. It's like Gen Z. It's Gen Z. I don't say body count. You know what I mean? I see meat holes. Wow. That is very your generation because that was a website back then.

I'm kidding. Like in early 2000s, it was meatholes.com. Meatholes.com. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah. It was demeaning. Meatholes.com was an actual thing. And what was it?

I've never seen it. It was really grotesque display of like. I've never seen it. Like blown out stuff. Yeah, yeah. Like really. It's really grotesque display of like blown out stuff. Yeah, yeah. It's aggressive and it's really mean. But anyway. Wait, what is everything else but sex?

Like did you do? 69. I ate her vagina. She blew me. You know what I mean? I came. Okay. Oh, you did?

Yeah. Toward the end. But anyway, can we get to the fucking end of the story? Yeah. It's a meandering because it's like meandering it's fine I'm trying to yeah

so then she I go tonight which is in the morning I go I'm doing either horribly funny

or Skylar so one of those like bring her but it was packed no it was doing Sam Tripoli's show stand up show okay

and I go come to the club, hang out. She goes, I'd love to. But I'm at the club, she never shows up. And at two in the morning, she calls me. I pick it up and she goes, hey, I'm going to block you from Twitter and Instagram. I go, why?

She goes, I scam dudes. Like I hook up with dudes and I manipulate them for giving me money. I get free trips, and I get all these things. And she goes, you're too nice of a guy. I just can't do it. And I go, okay. And she goes, so don't ever call me again. And I blocked you from all the things,

and I'm never going to see you again. And she goes, but have a good life. And I go, okay, bye. And I was heartbroken. Wow. I was heartbroken. Okay, does this make her then sort of like this anti-hero? I don't know.

Why couldn't she? Because she's particular about who she scams, it seems. It seems like she's put dudes in certain categories where it's like, I'm going to scam you, but I'm not going to scam the good guys, and I'm discerning of that.

Yeah, she's like Catwoman. I mean, she fucks with Batman, but she also fucks with the penguin. I mean, she does that thing. She does a little bit of both. Yeah, she does a little bit of both. What? Are we the penguins?

You're a penguin. I'm not a penguin. Okay. Yeah, yeah. What? Who are you then? In Batman? Yeah. Poison Ivy. what are we the penguins you're a penguin I'm not a penguin okay yeah yeah okay what who are you then in Batman

yeah Poison Ivy okay okay if it makes you feel better the penguin's mother's name was Esther okay

was it yeah Cobblepot yep Esther Cobblepot yeah did you know that was his last name no I didn't know that

okay I didn't know he was there yeah it was the Cobblepots right yeah Mr. Cobblepot. Yeah. Did you know that was his last name? No, I didn't know that. Okay. I didn't know he was there. Yeah, it was the Cobblepots, right? Yeah, Mr. Cobblepot. Yeah, he was abandoned. He had a rich family. They looked at his web feed, and they put him in a river in a basket, and he disappeared. Oh, that's so sad.

And he was raised by penguins, I guess. It's really sad. It's really sad. Is that also not a good movie? Which one? The one you're explaining. With Michael Keaton? No, the Penguin one, I think, is like a sequel.

And it's just, you like it? I don't even know what you're talking about because I've seen all of them. I literally don't know what you're talking about. Because the second movie in that Michael Keaton series was directed by Tim Burton. Then the Penguin is the third one. No, the second one has the Penguin in it.

He's in no other movies. Aside from the new one that just came out where Colin Farrell played the penguin. Oh, okay. So you're talking about the second movie then? I'm talking about the movie that we're talking about. With Danny DeVito in it. Danny DeVito as the penguin. Yeah.

You didn't like that movie? It felt a little hard. I was actually recently, I recently rewatched it and found it shocking to buy into the fact that the penguin would be able to become the mayor. That's true. Yeah. Good call.

I struggled. I struggled with that too. Philosophical struggle. Yeah, struggle. Why? Because of the way he looked? Just all, the whole thing,

it just felt like he came from the under. The whole movie is nonsensical. Yeah. You know? Yeah. Who's Catwoman?

Michelle Pfeiffer. And I thought she did, though, a great job in that. What do you think? I love Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman. Was this one Tim Burton? Yes. It is. Don't look at him.

I know. Okay. Why'd you look at him for? No, I was just looking. Anyway, that was the story of the girl. I'm trying to think of, I like this girl. What do you think, Esther? I do too.

Like, it's really, but it makes me sad that she had to block him and say, never call me. I wish they could have, but that was a very heroic move of her to. And I wish I could use that as a body count, but it wasn't because we didn't have sex. and I wish I could use that as a body count but it wasn't because we didn't have sex yeah but I would chalk that up as like I would remember her forever oh I'm going to remember her forever

yeah I'll never forget her it was like and that night was like because it was I'll be honest with you once we broke up I literally didn't think I Once we broke up I literally Literally didn't think I could ever hook up again

I was like Because during the 10 years I never had anyone hit on me And I never flirted with anybody So I was just like I just didn't know You know And now I'm killing it

I'm killing it Let's go Body cop Beat holes dot com I know But like I didn't know So she was the first Person that went, oh, maybe I have a, maybe there's something out there. That I relate to, though.

Like, even after three-month relationships, I've been like, I'll never meet anyone again. Yeah. Like, you just are so low. Yeah. Or you're just out of training, too. Like, you've almost forgotten how to, like, pick up cues cues from even let's suppose someone was like fully hitting on you. You're kind of just, I don't know, maybe not in like the correct mindset to be receiving any kind of like that kind of attention maybe. At least for me.

When I'm like down in the dumps, there's no way. Yeah. Have you had sex? Yes, I have. After this podcast? Oh, yeah. After this podcast. That's a fair question.

His body count skyrocketed. He was on the podcast a couple months ago. So let me say, before the podcast, you did Tiger Belly. What was the body count before that? Four. Four. You were right. You're at seven now.

Congratulations, dude. Well, because now that she said that, Oreo. What's an Oreo? Oreo sex. Oreo sex. I will say I have had Oreos. I've had Oreos. You're not alone, brother. I love milk and cookies. I only had two bodies and then

one blowjob. So I guess not three. So the last three were two sex, one blowjob. The two body count yeah okay thank you for clarifying thank you man

I don't want to lie on camera I know you could have and why is it that you said you could have why is it that you said that after that weekend you wanted to

bat for the other team what I don't know why he was all weird about it yeah yeah you got weird about it okay let, you got weird about it. Okay, let's move on. Because it feels, you know what I mean?

Weird. It feels weird. Esther, I have a question. If we were all playing kickball together, who do you think the last person on this team would be picked? Me. You're captain. You get to choose.

Already very unrealistic. But Esther is kickball captain. Yeah, everything. Just based off everyone's athleticism, looking around the room. Just look around the room and go, one, two, three, four. Just choose who you'd be having on your kickball team.

Okay. Out of all of us. First pick. Kalilah. You know, thank you. I was a kickball captain for many years. I obviously know that. Just by looking at you.

Second, be honest. Who do you want on your team second? I would go with you because you're young. So maybe you're more recently played. Nice. And then I thought maybe there was a chance you didn't know how to swim, but Kalilah said that you could. And so, I want to say you're all

equals. No, no. Pick it by honesty. No one's going to be offended. Me, Bobby, and George are left. This is really hypothetical. You're actually going to play football? You, then Bobby, because I feel like Bobby by honesty no one's gonna be offended me Bobby and George are left this is really hypothetical hypothetical you're actually gonna play football you

then Bobby because I feel like Bobby would be moody about it no no no don't about my reaction athleticism

would I be the last person to pick and that's fine no George would be last why what why

cause that voice um I don't know George I don't know yeah yeah don't you all agree George no I would be last. Yeah, yeah. Don't you all agree, George? No, I would be last, I guess, if you guys were.

Here's why I agree with you. I think there is such a thing called a sleeper build. And a sleeper build is someone like Jaime, Bobby, even you, where you've always thought of yourself as very small and unathletic, but you have very specific set of skills that maybe you just haven't honed. This is a pipe dream. I'm telling you now.

It's a pipe dream. He's a perfect example of somebody. I know what you're trying to get at right now. You know he was the only one this weekend who... No, no, no, no, no. You need to tell the story because it's insane. Okay. You were picked.

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Okay, go ahead. Stop wasting money on things you don't use. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions by going to rocketmoney.com slash belly. That's rocketmoney.com slash belly. rocketmoney.com slash belly. Chubbies! Oh, yeah. You guys, so I was in Vegas.

I'm just going to say this story, right? And I ran into this guy who owns Chubbies, and he sold me on his shorts. These shorts are so amazing. Yeah. And for the summer, that's all I'm going to wear is Chubbies. Dave wears Chubbies. I know he does. Guys, inside of every man, there are two wolves fighting, correct?

Yes. One wolf is really introverted and socially awkward and doesn't want much attention. And the other wolf is wearing a t-shirt with a skull on it and smoking a clove cigarette, yelling at the first wolf that he should talk more to girls right so they're fighting about that right yeah but then inside of those two wolves there are two more wolves right one wolf is going to therapy and trying to get his issues with the alpha sorted out and the other wolf is in unhinged snorting and grasses with wild grasses and voiding his trauma and it's coming in weird ways in the forest with like what he's doing to the squirrels and stuff. And inside those two wolves

are two more wolves even, Bobby. Oh my God. Oh my God. And one is real timid, gnawing at the spot where his testicles used to be. Oh no. Oh no.

Because he's been domesticated by an elderly couple. And the other wolf is real wild, like jumping into the pool with an entire pork shoulder in his mouth. The other wolves laugh at his devil-may-care

get-the-pork-wet attitude. And inside those wolves, Bobby, two more wolves. The dark and light wolf. Don't pass out. You're pregnant. And the yin wolf and yang wolf. And the old wise wolf and kid thinking about boobies wolf.

And a wolf who swims in a t-shirt because he's self-conscious about his wolf gut. And some other wolf who won't shut up about alt coins. I think I know what all of this means. What does it mean? I think that inside of us

are all of these versions of these wolves. Like we are multitudes inside of us is how I interpret that. The poet knows. I would know. I am a poet.

With a whole bunch of wolves inside of you and they've all got to get dressed in the morning. And you need all sides. You need all versions of that. You need the yin wolf.

You need the yang wolf. Chubby's is the best shorts in the business. I bought the lined everywhere shorts for Dave. And they're so cute on him. He's comfortable in them. They're my favorite thing to see him wear. The ultimate training shorts is where I go because I can put my phone in the little pocket there.

Oh, in the inside pocket. Yeah, yeah, and I love it. Introducing the little pocket there. Oh, in the inside pocket. Yeah, yeah. And I love it. Introducing the Bunch of Wolves collection by Chubbies. Chubbies, find your inner wolf and put some shorts on him. Find your inner wolf and put some shorts on him at chubbieshorts.com slash wolves. It's not a good scenario, this, okay? Because it's like, obviously, I'd be the last you pick. It's not a good scenario, this. Okay?

Because it's like, obviously I'd be the last you pick. It's not obvious. Okay, but I would just think that. You would be the first I'd pick. I know because you know me, so check it out. Let me just say, okay?

Thank you for what you're trying to do. Yeah. But no thank you. We have to address this. Okay. We need to address this. Thank you, everyone in the room. I'll address it. Okay?

So I was in Vegas with Sigur and Bert. And Friday, Bert calls me and goes, you're coming to the event, right? And I go, if it's not mandatory, I don't want to go. He goes, it's mandatory. Which is, I still have a resentment about it, right? So I show up to this thing,

and it's like this gigantic, not like Coliseum, just place where we did the show Saturday. It's like 15,000, 17,000 people. And they have this like, they made this football field. And then he has a bunch of pro athletes there, football players. And Joey Fatone. Adam Ray was there. Joey Fatone was my number one. He was? I love Fatone. Adam Ray was there. Joey Fatone was my number one. He was?

I love Fatone. Really, Esther? He was my number one. He's my type. Okay, keep going. Love him. Not him? Who?

No. Chris Kirkpatrick? Never even heard of him. Fatone is the only one I know. And Timberlake. Interesting about you. And Timberlake. Justin Timberlake.

And Timberlake. Okay, so Fatone was there. It's with another big old black man there. Warren Sapp? Yeah, Warren Sapp. That's amazing. Is he good? That's amazing.

Because he tried to fuck me, that guy. Not physically, but he fucked me up. Warren Sapp is a legend too. He's a legend, okay. So Bert, Tom, they picked the teams, right? And I was picked third only because Tom picked me because he laughed and he goes, you know what?

Ha ha ha, Bobby, as a joke. And I didn't like it. And Bert said, I'll never pick him. Out loud. Wow. So they picked all the teams, right? And I was the one that were like, oh, he's not going to do anything.

What were you supposed to do? Just kick him up? There was three things I had to do. Okay. Punt. Nice. Where I just kind of throw it up and I kick it one that was like, oh, he's not going to do anything. What were you supposed to do? Just kick him up? There was three things I had to do. Okay. Punt. Nice. Where I just kind of throw it up and I kick it like that.

For distance? For distance. Then you had to throw a football and hit a running bear. There was a man, two men wearing a bear costume. All right? And you get five tries.

And then you had to do a field goal. What was this? It was a competition. For the Super Bowl. for the Super Bowl. In Vegas. I just want to say out front I was MVP of the night. That doesn't surprise me.

Nothing to balk at, nothing to laugh at. What you just did there. This does not surprise me. Nothing to laugh at, nothing to balk at. FYI. What do you mean? Just don to balk at. FYI. What do you mean? Just don't balk and don't laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's it.

So the fucking punt, I did as good as everyone else. But the throwing the bear, right? I got three bears out of five. Wow. Over 50. Throw. Yeah. A football.

A football. And then. Here we And then Here we go The final Let's do it They put the fucking ball down You know That little Receptacle

What do you call it? The little stand? Yeah little stand Yeah I don't know what it's called And Warren Sapp comes to me and goes Hey man come here Let me talk to you Warren Sapp's talking to you

And I go What's up Old timey black man That's what I called him let me talk to you. Warren Sapp's talking to you. And I go, what's up, old-timey black man? That's what I called him. You did? Yeah. Obviously.

And he goes, don't call me that. All right, Warren. And he goes, this is what you need to do, so come up to me. So he goes, go to the ball,

put your right foot here, three steps back. And he goes, just memorize the movement. Right? So I go three the ball, put your right foot here three steps back just memorize the movement right, so I go three steps back I go, I don't want to do it this way this is the way it's done oh god, this guy warns that and I go I guess I gotta, you know what I mean

do what he wants me to do I do it, it fails, it goes right into the ground and it goes to the left. Right? So I go, and he goes, all right, just,

that was practice. I only get two tries, fuck face. At this point, like nobody had kicked up. Nobody had done it. So he, they set it up

and I go, just back up, dude. And I take 50 steps back and I just run toward it. You know what I mean? Like a maniac. I hit it right between the fucking I just run toward it. You know what I mean? Like a maniac. I hit it right between the fucking thing.

I get it. Right? Tom Seguro didn't get even, he's a disgrace to mankind. Right? You're the captain. You can't even get one. You disgraceful man.

You balding disgraceful man. What about Bert? Bert got the second one. Okay. Right? A couple of people, Adam Ray, disgusting. You should

never play football. Not him? No, they want this way, that way. He doesn't know. Joey Fatone, big fan. Not good. I got it. Right? I'm the champion. You are. Right? And I'm the last picked. And I'm going to tell you this right now, dude.

And I looked at Burt all night long. I go, don't ever fucking disrespect me again. And he goes, I promise I won't. Wow. I get it now. Understand, learn, discover, and then discard. Is that? Not ball, kickball.

No, not kickball. Punting. Like a field goal. Yeah, no, I. It's not kickball. It stresses me out that you were doing a comedy event and then there was

suddenly a mandatory sports portion. I know, me too. At your worst nightmare. Yeah, I would just be like, I'm going home. Yeah, I'll just do the show. Yeah.

And then Burt goes, it's mandatory. Jeez. Which is like, you know, I'll do what he says, but you know what? I'm glad I went because I was able to

inform people that don't judge a book by its cover yeah i look like a melting mayonnaise or a butter i mean yeah i love it i love it you don't know you don't know but i don't look like i move much but my dad was a professional boxer. Wait, what? Yeah. I was on the wrestling team in high school. I was fucking on the tennis team.

I played ping pong like a fucking savage. He plays hockey. I used to play ice hockey. So I know how to move my body. I just look the way I do. I know that you're fit. Thank you. God bless you. Take care. I do know that you're fit thank you god bless you take care i

know that okay should i should i leave anyway no no no we have to talk about the movie well i actually do have a follow-up question for you from our conversation last week on trash tuesday when you were on okay go ahead no did you get booed on stage like you were worried about in Vegas? I don't know. He's a rock star. No, I'm not a rock star. Why don't you know? Because how do you discern boos from cheers? I don't know. Really? He does know.

He does know, yeah. Because he sent me a video. Can I say this? And this is a fact, and so don't argue against this. I couldn't say this, and this is a fact, and so don't argue against this. I got cheers. But Shane Gillis, the place erupted. I brought

up Shane Gillis, the place erupted. Like, it was like the second coming of something. But do you feel good that you got cheers? Yeah, I felt I thought Trevor Wallace something but do you feel good that you got cheers yeah i i felt um i thought trevor wallace because he was cold he had to go up cold oh it's first it was first yeah so it took him a minute or two but he started getting them so i was just lucky that i had a such a great comic before me

yeah to get them in tune and i did did pretty good. I fucked up one joke. It's fine. And then Trevor went, and then Shane went up and I gave him a great intro. I go, Asians love this man. Well, that's why they're cheering. Asians love this man. Yeah, that's true.

And I go, he got fired from SNL, but now he's hosting it in a couple weeks. And as soon as they knew who it was. That's a good intro. What a nice man. I love him so much. Me too. That whole night was magical.

I don't want to talk about it again, but it was a great night. Jaime has some questions for Esther in the movie Drugstore June. You want to do it? Yeah. Are you promoting the movie? Fuck face. That's why she's here. Put the mic closer, Jaime.

Oh, okay. Hi, Esther. Hi. Yeah, okay. Hi, Esther. Hi. Yeah, promote the movie. Oh. Yo, ask your question. Jaime, listen to me. Excuse me?

No, Jaime, just pretend you're hired by E. E, okay. All right? And you're a professional interviewer. Right? So just introduce the show like, hey, welcome. My name is Jaime. Welcome to the show.

Whatever. Make up the name of the show. Okay. Right? We're introduce the show. Like, hey, my name is Jaime. Welcome to the show. Make up the name of the show. We're an entertainment show. As if on the camera. Go ahead. He's your director. Hey, this is Todd here with E! Fashion Week. We have the one and only

Esther Polisky. I don't know if I'm saying this right, but she's here to promote her new movie, Drugstore June. Am I correct? Yes. Thank you so much for having me, Todd. Thank you, Todd. It's okay. Breathe. Breathe. Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.

It's okay. You can throw it in. Is this going to be straight to streaming or theater? No. So they should have given you the notes in advance. It's going to be in theaters. Select theaters in New York and LA February 23rd. It stars Bobby Lee as my co-star.

Produced by Bill Burr. Bill Burr is funny. Was he cool on set? He was very funny and cool on set. He's in it as well. Then we'll be in a wider release March 1st with tickets on sale in Austin and a bunch of other cities.

You can get tickets at drugstorejune.com. That's okay. Who else stars in the movie? Is it stars in the movie? I know Bobby Lee's in it. Bill Burr. Who else is on it? Do you know Miss Pat?

Is it a lady? No. She's in it? You're an iCarly fan oh yeah miranda's on there right you do well who doesn't did you grow up watching her yeah carly and drake and josh yeah and uh yeah what else uh give us the uh concept of the movie because by the poster stop looking at that just look at her uh by the poster yeah what does it look like to the by the poster. Jaime, stop looking at that. Just look at her. By the poster. Yeah, what does it look like by the poster to you? Like your typical drugstore movie?

Yeah. Typical drugstore movie. Jaime, just keep going. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah. Tell us more. Well, like you said, it is a typical drugstore movie Stay in honey

Stay in Yes And it's about There's a robbery At a pharmacy Are you committing This robbery I could not tell you that

Yeah we got away From the movie You'll have to go see it I mean It's not fashion week It's not fashion week It actually Right now

It is It is It's fashion week Week. It actually right now is Fashion Week. It is New York Fashion Week, yeah. Oh, okay. My bad. How was it on set working with the legend Bobby Lee? Oh, how was it on set? It was really lovely and wonderful. We had a lot of laughs.

Yeah. It's a comedy movie? It is a comedy, yes. I am a stand-up comedian. Therefore, it is a comedy. Who's the fashion set designer? Did you? The fashion set designer?

Who? Jaime, Jaime. There's no such thing as a fashion set designer. Who designed the sets or the clothes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wardrobe and set design are two different things. We had an amazing team. Sorry, Greg is on the line.

Greg? Jaime, just listen to amazing team. Sorry, Greg is on the line. Greg? Hy-Vee, just listen to me. I know, Greg. Wardrobe and set design are two different things. You combined it both into one thing. It's one job. Yes. Keep going.

No, no, no. It's multiple jobs. But do you know who Haley Joel Osment is? Yeah, the guy from Sixth Sense? Yeah. Yeah, he was cool. Do you remember what he said? No.

In the movie. I see dead people yeah you knew does he hate that that he's recognized by I see dead people I don't know I mean he did AI

to a huge fucking movie with Steven Spielberg I'm not a fan of Steven you're not a fan I am E.T. come on

mad at E.T. I mean you're fired last week you know I just realized E.T.? Come on, Ken. You mad at E.T.? I'd be fired higher. Last week in E.T. You know, I just realized, you know, I remember you from Parks and Rec, right? Oh, the snow cone girl? Julie, right?

You know the name of my character? Yeah, because I remember the Jeremy Jam. Yeah. I'm going to pay you extra to stay. I have a high school test or something like that. Calculus homework You know my lines What the fuck

I'm a huge fan of Parks and Rec Are you an iCarly fan Or are you just an Esther fan I used to love I still love watching Parks and Rec And I remember your face With the snow cone Who's the other guy's name

Rob Loy Yeah Rob Loy Loy Yeah Yeah he is Yeah Rob Loy He's on What's he on Something Creek

Yeah Schitt's Creek No Not Dawson's Creek either Not Dawson's Creek Or Schitt's Creek Wait Hold it

Rob Loy Rob Loy Tommy Boy It was Rob Loy and Tommy Boy Yeah Okay That's all you know of him I already know what you're going to say.

What? Like your most favorite show of all time. I would, he would, there's no way. No, wait, hold on. There's something. It's a political. It is. Yeah.

If you can get it, Jaime, if you can get this show, dude. A thousand bucks. Okay. A thousand. Not a thousand dollars. A hundred dollars. Okay, okay. Let me see.

Kalilah. Yeah. Yeah. You got it. Yeah it yeah yeah you know it it's a political show it's serious yeah serious it's great show give him one other actor that's in it he's there's that's not gonna bradley whitford i mean no i don't you know bradley whitford no what do you think it's about they tried in your mind you were thinking about something yeah describe what do you think the movie is the show that he's

that was a part what was it about is it on FX no it's like a long time ago I just think based on you liking iCarly and Parks and Rec

it's gonna be hard for you The Office no not The Office no it's a political it's a drama it's a drama he was

okay I give up okay I feel like it's called West Wing West Wing West Wing HBO No No

No Go through all the networks It was a network I think CBS I don't know Anyway West Wing What do you think

West Wing's about? Like a hospital But the West Wing hospital Very close That's it Yeah that's all Yeah And Rob Loy

Isn't it? Yeah Yeah Is it Loy or Loy? It's it yeah that's all yeah and rob loy isn't it yeah yeah is it loyal loy it's loy loy it's loy it's like hawaii yeah robbie loy from westwick did you interact with um nick offerman uh yeah i did was he in that scene i can't remember then yeah yes well i mean do you think that they just don't interact or what? Well, I don't know. You think he just shows up and just doesn't even look at her? I've opened for him though on,

I did a college show with him. So I do know him. He's very nice and very funny. Yeah. Jaime was telling me one of his favorite TV shows he was watching

is Love on Netflix. I said, oh, you like Bobby, right? He said he didn't know you were on it. What season were you on? I was on it too. Do you, right? He said he didn't know you were on it. What season were you on? I was on it, too. Do you remember me?

No, no. Oh. What season were you on? He said, I love the show, Love. All the seasons. I told you, he's the best friend. Do you remember the writer, the mean writer? Yeah.

The Jewish guy? The Brett Gelman? That's the father of my child. He is? Yeah. Oh, wait, Dave's in it. I thought you were going to say the mean. Well, he's a writer. He's a writer? He's the father of my child. He is? Yeah. Oh, wait. Dave's in it. I thought you were going to say the mean. Well, he's a writer.

He's a writer? He's playing a writer. Okay. Literally, one of the episodes is like a full episode about me. But anyway. Love? Judd Apatow? Yeah.

Judd Apatow. Yeah. Judd Apatow, bro. I got to rewatch it. Yeah. Rewatch it, dude. Because I was telling them that I was in this hotel. Yeah.

How the fuck do you know what Steve's scene was in? Everything about her. How in the fuck do you know that? That snow cone scene was famous. Oh, so my scenes were, maybe my scenes weren't great. Let's move on.

I don't even want to, I don't want to, I don't want to. Have you ever seen me in anything else? Bad TV. Mad, what? Mad TV.

I thought you said bad TV. No, bad TV. His name is not Rob Lowy, by the way. What is it? Rob Lowe. Rob Lowy. I can't, bro.

Yeah, you have a speech impediment. Yeah, I do. You have autism? No, he just has a broken jaw. Oh, his jaw is broken. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, my bad. Don't get angry. I'm not getting angry. Okay. Have you been to another country? Aside from Mexico? No, not yet. Oh.

I can't wait for you to experience the world. Canada. Not even Canada? Not even Canada yet. Do you have a passport? I have a passport. Okay, good. Well, can your boy take you?

We might go. What? We might go. Where? Canada. Oh, that'd be great. You'll love it. You really will. Yeah? They. Oh, that'd be great. You'll love it. You really will.

Yeah? They'll love me? They would love you. I love you. Thanks, man. Let's talk about, so, Yeah, John Abbottel. Oh, go ahead.

That was a great interview, Todd. Good job. Todd, very good. Very charming, and then you remembered another credit of mine, and you knew the line,

which was really, it was a little scary, but I liked it. I like to be a little scared. Yeah, but you also know, I mean, you know that he's a fan. And you know TV. Like, you know the world. Except for West Wing. That's, that's, don't, don't judge.

West Wing is, yeah. I mean, that's a very specific kind of show. Have you ever heard of splitting up together? No. Okay. Have you heard of, uh. Have you heard of animal practice? Animal okay have you heard of uh i've heard of animal practice animal practice no okay okay i watched shows i was on anyway i watched community yeah okay i'm done

with you right now yeah and anyway i was never on community. I was on New Girl, though. So Drugstore June is coming out soon. Esther is the star of the show. I'm not second lead. You are the second lead. I'm not. You refuse to admit that publicly. Absolutely not. Why is your name second?

Because they're using my name to promote the fucking movie. That's what they're doing. Nine scenes. Four scenes. You are not in four You are in more You are the second lead But

It's a great cast Yeah but it's a great Man Walsh Yeah Walsh is a Dude Dude Shooting that movie though This movie

Beverly D'Angelo Yeah I love her Oh my god What a freaking icon I know James Remar What movie is James Remar on What is that big

Back in the day He's in a cult classic movie. Is it called Warrior? Yes, Warriors. Warriors. Warriors. I feel like men are obsessed with this movie. Dude, it's one of the greatest movies ever.

Have you seen Warriors? No. You have to see it. Tonight you're going to watch it. It's called The Warriors. He's like a man's man in it, right? He's a part of this gang called The Warriors, right? And he is very notable in the movie.

I mean, you can't miss him. Because his character is like kind of shwarmy. Not shwarmy, but... Anyway. Did you see it? This is a movie that I missed as a kid that he made me watch as an adult. I made it. Oh, you've seen it?

And I loved it. Yeah. Really? Love it. A lot of women know James Remar as Richard on Sex and the City. Oh, you've seen it? And I loved it. Yeah, love it. A lot of women know James Remar as Richard on Sex and the City. Oh, that's right. Yeah.

You guys have a good director. Grandma's Boy? Yeah. How do you know that? It says right there. Scroll it up. Dude, you're good, man. Did you see Grandma's Boy?

Oh, yeah. Yeah, everyone saw Grandma's Boy. DVD. Him and I are very close. Me and Nick Goosen. How do you feel about Nick Go Boy? Oh, yeah. Yeah, everyone saw Grandma's Boy. DVD. Him and I are very close. Me and Nick Goosen. How do you feel about Nick Goosen? I love him. As a director.

So much fun. We get each other. We wrote this book. You have no complaints about him? No, why would I be complaining? What are your complaints? Is there anything about him that annoys you or anything? Is he just perfect?

So pointed. noise you or anything. He's perfect? So pointed. Sometimes I feel like he really wants me to eat more. Yeah. And I'm like, I don't want to get a stomachache. I'm not as tall as you. Yeah. I love Nick. And I can't like keep up with him. He is really tall.

He's a bubble butt. You keep saying this. You keep saying this. Because he does have a nice ass. Is that something that you notice in all men? Yeah, I really do. Any human. I never pegged you for an ass guy.

I'm not a fan of it. It's like I'm not a fan of Nick Goosen's ass. I'm just saying he has a bubble butt. But you talk about it a lot. In human body parts, what are parts that really you're like, oh, like that turns me on. Man or woman?

Or I'm attracted to that. Both. I mean. A woman, my number one thing is legs. I love your legs. Thank you. Thank you. You have the best legs in the business.

Thank you. They're perfect. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. What else? And a woman or man? Let's go woman first. Women, legs. And then I'm a breast man.

But you want small. I like small. Yeah. I like small breasts. Really? Yeah. I've never heard of a breast man identifying as liking small. I don't like none.

I mean, I like smaller breasts. You know, big ones are fine, and I enjoy them as well. Natural. Or not, you know? Yeah, he begged me to not get breast implants, and I got them anyways, and it was a mistake. He was right from the start. I was right from the start.

He's like, you're going to hate them. What did you say? You were just like, I don't want that? He's like, they're beautiful. Why would you change your body? That's sweet. And then what else am I? Breath.

Breath is the number one with girls. So small boobs, good breath, good legs. Good legs. And then ass probably right after that. What does the ass have to do? What's your criteria? Big, small, tight, muscular, juicy, dry. And I'm going to probably get in trouble for saying what I'm going to say.

I don't like junk in the trunk. What's junk in the trunk? Big butts. Yeah, I don't like big, big butts. Oh, okay. You're not into the BBL trend? No. Nope.

But I've talked to my black friends about it. We just have different points of view. And not being racist, that's not anything wrong. Is it intimidating for you? I just don't like bubble bubbles. I don't like little divots. That means cellulite?

He doesn't like cellulite. Not a lot. I have cellulite. Are you crazy? You have three, and they're cute. They're more like dimples. They're more like dimples. That's cellulite.

What I'm talking about is like... He doesn't like Moon Crater. Yeah, exactly. How do you know? You don't like it either. I have a Moon Crater. Yeah. I don't like your Moon Crater.

I know that you don't. It disgusts me. I'm so sorry. You're welcome. What is Moon Crater? It's cellulite. I have no idea what he's saying. It's so silly.

It's like a golf ball. What is that? What you just said? Cellulite. What is it? Cellulite? Cellulite? I don't see enough girls' asses. No, you've seen cellulite.

Your mom has it. I don't know. Most girls have cellulite. You almost got him there. It's basically when the skin, like you see like butt. I even have it in my belly if I squeeze and even in my calf if I squeeze. I have it all over. It basically looks like when you press it, it's like kind of cottage cheesy, but it's

so normal and everyone has it. Everyone has it. Yeah. Like that. Like even like the skinniest perfect women have it, so there's nothing wrong with it. Right. There's nothing wrong with it. I'm not going to say anything.

Yeah. What's guys though? Can I go to guys? Go to guys. Yeah. But I'm not sexually attracted to guys. It's what you notice though. It's not sexual.

It's just what you notice. Thank you. Yeah, because you shoulders okay really love them like michael phelps michael phelps oh like swimmer kind yeah where it's like yeah like boxy it's like traps like mine no no like yours but it's also like you know the northman yeah oh that movie fucking turned me on when i saw that guy coming in with the, you know, with the shoulders. Alexander Skarsgård. Yeah, yeah, I love it. With axes. If they have an axe, I love it. Another thing is, I love Adam's apple.

Big or small? Like, boop, boop. Yeah, yeah, I like it. It's just because you said you're not attracted to it, and then Gilbert was like, okay, so just say what you notice. But then when you describe it, you're like, I love it. I love it, yeah. I'll try to help you out.

No, in a non-sexual way. Oh, okay, okay. Hello. That's okay. Either way is fine. Yeah. I also like... Jawlines.

Jawlines, dude. What's up, dog? Are you into jawlines? No. Yeah, you are. You said it. What's the first thing you notice from a guy? Not sexually, just when you're like, oh, okay.

Like if you saw Brad Pitt's jawline. That's a good jawline. That's a great one. There you go. Great one. I wish I had one. I like a big nose on a man. I do, too. I love a big nose. Are you a big Pitt's jawline. That's a good jawline. It's a great one. There you go. Great one. I wish I had one. I like a big nose on a man. I do too.

I love a big nose. Are you a big nose guy? No. I think men don't necessarily like big noses on chicks, but girls love big noses on men. Yeah. It's very masculine. Very masculine. Oh, with women too.

I like ankles. Ankles. Ankles. They have to have ankles? I don't like I don't like the calf to the foot and nothing

yeah like a stomp one time my dance teacher told me that if you ever like had an enemy that a girl like you should just tell her

you have cankles and then she'll never get over it yeah that's a really really tough thing a tough thing to get over I think as a girl

because I don't know. He was really mean. Yeah, but I don't think he's wrong. Like if someone told me I had cankles, like that would really upset me, I think. I love Achilles heel. He loves a weak point. I've never heard that.

I do. I love the Achilles heel. You know what that is? Is it in a movie? I love you. Yeah, rated R. Is it Achilles B? What? Is it that little? I love you. Yeah, rated R. Is it Akili B? What?

The little girl with the spinning bee? Yeah. Oh, Akila and the bee. Yeah, that was it. No. Oh, that wasn't it? It's not that. No.

I feel like we're the same age based on the references, but you're like 10 years younger than me. You're not 27? No. Wow. Thank you. Todd. Okay.

Cancels? No, that's Achilles' heel. And the reason why, because if you, back in the day, the Roman times, when they would fight, and if you fucking hit

the Achilles' heel with your knife or your sword. That's what he thought you were saying. That's not what I was saying. That's a good movie. Achilles and the beat.

That's a good movie? Have you seen the movie Troy with Brad Pitt? That's a good, yeah. Yeah. Isn't he Achilles in that? Anyway, let's move on.

I have no idea what I'm talking about. Drug Sojourn coming out in February. Here are some screenings. You can buy your tickets. Some live shows over here. Yeah, go check it out. You're going to be at any of these? Oh, yeah.

By the way, Bobby is going to be at many of these screenings, especially in LA. So if people want to come, we'll be- I'll probably be in every screening. We're going to do a Q&A after. Bobby will be in Claremont, at the Lemley North Hollywood. Will he be at Glendale? I don't think he's at-

I don't know if he's at Glendale. They got to give me a list. I don't know. I'm doing some of them. The Lemley Royal. But then that's it, right? West side. After that, we're done.

Right? Are we done after that? We'll see. You know, can I just get this off my chest real quick? Get it off the chest. Let me get this off my chest right now. Okay, if I'm second lead, that's fine. And I love it, right?

I love doing the movie. But my point is this. I already did Rogan. I did Marc Maron. Those are two huge podcasts. You did the two. I know. Right?

It's just like, isn't that enough? Haven't I said this whole time, thank you so much? I can't believe that. And I thank you. When we were on set, I remember looking at you saying, thank you so much for being here. you when we were on set i remember looking at you saying thank you so much for being here and you were like you were so nice about it thank you and i i do i will say i understand the movie is about june i understand that but you are the second lead and you are i want to tell everyone i'm i'm good i'm here's why i'm weirded

out by the part okay because i've never been in a part where i'm super straight i know and i you know i'm more you know paternal i'm more paternal in the movie and you're not big and silly that's what i'm saying you're very grounded i'm grounded in it so it's when i watch it i go it's just hard because i'm never that guy usually. But I love you this way. I know you do. I love you grounded. Reservation dogs are pretty grounded, I think.

Yeah. I think your best roles are when you're not big and silly. And you're good at it. Like you're a good actor. Very good. Can I have a – Go ahead. Do you guys like watch your own stuff, like your own movies and stuff?

Or do you can't watch yourself? This one, because I was involved in the editing, I did. But there's another movie that I have a link to that I'm in that I have not clicked. Like ever? Which one? It hasn't come out yet. But I'm scared to click the link. I don't know.

What about you, Bobby? It's so interesting you say this. Because the first time i ever saw myself in anything it was by accident but she was with me and so we were invited to the reservation dogs premiere and i thought they were going to shoot show one and i'm not in the first episode so i went so i was watching there and I met Taika and everybody. It was great. But then after the first one

they rolled right into the second one and then I tried to escape but I couldn't get out. So then I kind of stood on the side with the security and I saw my first scene

and I was like, oh, I'm pretty good. Really good. And I went back and sat down. That's the first time you've seen yourself? Yeah.

Yeah. That's like really recent. I know. And I went back and sat down. That's the first time you've seen yourself? Yeah. Yeah. That's like really recent. I know. It was such a big, I think, moment of growth for him because he sat down and he was like, oh, I'm good in this. And then I saw myself in Sex and the City, some scenes. I was like, okay, that's pretty good. So I'm fine now.

Thank you so much for being here. Being here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And Esther, you know, I love you so much. being here being here um yeah yeah yeah and um esther you know i love you so much and i've had a blast promoting the same thing with you and congratulations on all your success and your baby coming up and i love your husband dave not a husband yet kind basically you're gonna have a wedding we might i want to go okay okay do you want to officiate no i just want to go okay i guess never get invited to weddings. What if you come to my wedding and it's literally just me, you, and Dave?

He would love that. I would love it. But it's live streamed. Yeah. I'm open to that. Do we get separate invites or do we still get the same invite? I think that's actually hard. I don't know.

I know, right? Jaime, congrats on three lovely ladies added to your roster. Thank you. Yeah, congratulations. Congratulations, Gilbert. Thank you. Congratulations, Kalilah. Thank you.

I actually have a gift for you, Bobby. Okay, tell me what it is. Yeah. Give it to me, please. It's a deck of cards. And it's a bicycle red dragon deck. Red dragons. You love it?

You love red dragons. Is it for Lunar New Year? Yes. Let me ask you something. You bought this because it was Asian-oriented? No, it's Year of the Dragon. It is. Not the Year of the Dragon, the Year of the Pig.

No, this year, 2024, is Year of the Dragon. Yeah. You didn't know? Okay. That's kind of weird. Would you have given this gift to her? No, I have a gift for you guys. Wait, what?

What? Gifts? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have pockets here. Yeah, yeah. Let me see. Where's... Oh, here.

For you and your husband. Oh, thank you. My... Look, it's a tricky dice. It lands on 11 and 7. Look, roll. Oh, it's a trick dice? Go again.

11? Every time 11. Oh, 7. 7. Oh, it's a trick thing? Go again. 11. Every time 11. Oh, 7. 7. Oh, my God. Do it again. Do it again. Do it again.

I don't think. He doesn't believe it. I love it. I can't believe it. Oh, wow. I have 11 again. Let me try. You don't believe him?

No, I don't believe you. I want to see if I can throw it in the water. 11. How do they do it like that? Lila, people should check out our podcast, Trash Tuesday, which has some big changes coming. Whoa. We'll bleep that out, but we'll keep this reaction.

That's exciting. Oh, my God. Anyway, I love you guys. Thank you so much. Bye-bye. Give it up for Esther. Esther. Check out her. Oh my god Anyway I love you guys Thank you so much Bye bye Give it up for Esther Bye bye Bye

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