TigerBelly - Godfrey, Bring Back The Hook

Episode Date: April 12, 2023

Godfrey makes his 2nd appearance and we chat about Keanu Reeves, Ted Talk Comedy, mentor dates, and Bobby's beetle analogy. Live show tickets @ www.tigerbellylive.com

But the funny thing is, like, they were like, yo, do you want to do improv? I said, nah, I think I should have. I hate it. I want to do stand up. Man, you know, remember? You like it? You know Andy Kindler?

Oh, yeah, he's great. Andy goes, you know what? You know what I really hate about improv? Posters of improv. It works so posters, ever. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Posters are always like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Or three of them will do, like, that monkey thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, they're bombing in their own posters. Is that a Hagler-Herns t-shirt? Right? Come on, now. Oh. Oh, no.

He knows fighting. That's like the best three rounds ever. Look at you. Look at it go. You go. Look at it. Look at it all go with the punches. I love it, dude.

Well, wait, Clayton. In and out. You know what? Middle weight? Yes. What do you, I'm not dumb. I live on plenty of her. Oh, you're 51.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know Hagler-Herns and Hagler, aren't you? You know who the fuck they are. Yeah, I know fucking. And he just passed away in China. Who did? He was living in Italy. He was living in Italy.

Speaking Italian. Why did he die? He died. I think he might have been. Why did he die? Oh, shit. Might have known. The shot, baby, the shot.

heroin. Pfizer, Moderna. Oh, no. I'm trying to talk to you. You're thinking about Herman Cain. From Michigan. Oh, who's Herman Cain? Herman Dada Cain, baby.

I'm trying to talk, like, old winos in Chicago. Like, you know, you know, you know, listen, can I just say something real quick? God, God free. I was describing you to somebody else. You know what I mean? They go, who is that? I go, I describe.

And I said that he has big teeth. Would that be? No, I don't. Yeah, yeah. I have big teeth. I know you don't have big teeth. Let me see your teeth. His white teeth.

You're missing teeth. No, but I said big teeth and he goes, yeah, yeah. And then I showed a photo and he was like, no, that's like the guy doesn't have big teeth. You know big teeth. I would have been like, are you right? But I don't. I have like.

All right. No, I just look at them now, they're very nice. That's just the projection because you're missing teeth. Are you missing teeth? Oh, yeah. Let me see. No, no. I have a crown.

I have crowns. No, no. I'm missing half teeth. Half teeth. If I open my mouth. You have half teeth. Yeah, they're half a month on. No, you never.

You could only see in the show business ones. Oh, the ones they brush? Yeah, yeah. There's the four teeth brush. No, no, it's like I swear people with full teeth only brush the ones that they smile with. They just go. Well, that's what I did.

Get the ones in the back. Well, that's how crest white strips work. I always wonder why they only have just a strip really for the front. Yeah, that's what you know. You got to get the ones that are working hard in the back. Yeah. Just a quarterback.

But my parents never taught me. What? They never taught me how to brush. My parents were so adamant about brushing teeth and washing. And they were like hygiene was like when we woke up in the morning, and you know, we're Nigerians. So my father would be like, you know,

as soon as we get up, he'd say, you say good morning first. Then that's my father. He's like, you say good morning first. And then you go to the to the rest and and wash your, wash your, wash your, brush your teeth before you come out. You just be smelling. Can't have that. Yeah, you have to say good morning to your mother.

And then you go to the bathroom and wash. Oh, yeah. That was the rule in our household, too. Like the first thing you had, I had to say was good morning, papa in a very formal way, too. I was good morning, daddy, good morning, mommy. You know what, that Nigerian accent, I love it when there are scientists in movies.

I can't do it. The reactor is not. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I love that. Always the reactor. Listen, listen, listen, listen. Always the reactor. I believe it. I believe it.

And you know what, because Nigerians are scientists. Yeah, that's what it is. They're usually really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you ask any Nigerian, they're the engineers, lawyers, right, right, right, mathematical. And I played, by the way, this is really great. Yeah, because I played a Nigerian student

in a science lab with Keanu Reeves and Morgan Freeman's called Chain Reaction. I played a kid named Cheety. And I was like, and I was like, I just did a couple lines. Hello, Mr. Professor. That kind of thing. Hello, Professor. I didn't like that.

Hello, Professor. So God, in the breakdown to say Nigerian scientist. I don't remember him because the guy, Andy Davis, the director, he really liked me. And I was like, and I did an act. I think I did an accent. And he was like, I love that. I want you to.

So I played a science. So I'm with Keanu Reeves for a few weeks and Morgan Freeman. I'm like, this is great. He's like, yo, that's a good accent. Wait, let me ask you something. Between the two, right, were they both nice? Very cool. They seemed like nice guys.

Let me tell you something. I met you. You run it. You're like Keanu Reeves. I'm like, oh, fuck, it's Keanu Reeves. Like, damn. Every day I'm seeing him. And one day he's like, we're all going to lunch, right?

I'm just walking with him. I'm like, oh, fuck Keanu Reeves. It was cool. And then these girls saw him. Oh my god. And when I tell you, they were like, oh my god. And he was just nice. The nicest thing he did, he signed everybody's autograph,

shook everybody's hand. I said, I respect you for that shit. Now I like the guy. He's very nice, very nice guy. He's a little strange sometimes, but that's all right. It's what we do. You would think that if you're walking with Keanu Reeves, you'd always have a ring out.

Because when you run into women, pussy juice. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? You would think. They were screaming for me, too. You know what I'm saying? I was kidding. You?

Pussy juice. Oh, you pussy juice? I had little bub. You know what you're kidding? I was kidding. I was the ricochet pussy, you know. I remember. I remember.

That's a good band name, ricochet pussy juice. Yeah, ricochet pussy juice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's start a band tonight. Puro, puro, puro. That's our first song, pion. Pior, pion. Pion.

Hey, Berlin. We're ricochet pussy juice. Ricochet pussy juice. Pow, pow, pow. Ricochet pussy juice. When it bounces off, it goes in the bucket. And I say, fuck it. Ricochet pussy juice.

Yeah, yeah, that's great. We're the best. Sell out all over Germany. All over Germany. They'd be like this, dude, did you see ricochet pussy juice? Those guys are so good. They just opened up for pubic hair. Weird.

It's a Nigerian in a Korean. Yeah, it's a Nigerian Korean. It's a great combination. I've never seen it. I think Tank City was on the fucking bill, too. Yeah, it was awesome. There really is a thing, though, when a band is only a hit in one specific place.

That's amazing. Like Ricky Gervais, he was a synth pop, part of a synth pop duo that was only big in the Philippines. You know that, right? Is the weirdest shit. You know that? No. Yeah, he was.

You can pull it out. Look at what this is. Ricky Gervais. Ricky Gervais. Gervais, I mean. Ricky. Tangtai. What's that guy?

OK, I'm going to get excited. When you have an idea, you're like, oh, that's hot. When people do it. Oh, shit. Which one? Not right there. That's Ricky Gervais. What is the?

That's Ricky Gervais, the comedian? Yeah, look at the second picture, Gil. And I ran. I ran so far away. Don't know the fuckers are like. On the top left. Are those the ones that didn't make Duran Duran? Look at him.

Yeah, he is good looking. To the right. That's Ricky Gervais. That's Ricky Gervais. Gervais. Ricky, Ricky. Yeah, Ricky. The office.

Look at it. And they were hitting the Philippines. Oh, damn. Wow, when he was good looking, he was like, I ain't even getting no money. But you know dudes like that, it's like, I'm going to make it somehow. Oh, music game kind of work.

I'm going to do this. He was doing. That was 80s. That's the euro. I get it. Because back then, it was, you know, flock of seagulls, Duran Duran. It was Kasia Gugu.

It was too shy, shy, hush, hush. I do I do shy, shy, hush, hush. I do I go, hey, hey, hey, hey. Howard Jones. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. And aha, take on me. Are you on a tightrope? Take on me, take on me, take on me.

No, because I was in flock of seagulls. And we played 80 songs, and it just reminded me. Tell me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ah, me, ah, me, ah, me, ah, me, ah, me, ah. Huh, me. OK, so anyway, what are you doing here? Intro-arch.

I'm, what are you doing in town? The fact that I'm here doing, like, you know, miscellaneous shit podcasts and stuff like that, and I've always got to make my stop in LA, I know I've been a little, you know, but I am doing some stuff with Nick Cannon, and woo who doing something, Scooby-Doo. Nick Cannon, the baby, baby guy,

He's on his 11th or 12th babies. He's a cannon. Oh, yeah Boom make some sounds with you in post You don't have any kids, right? My pullout game is great. It's like inside fastball ball one Oh and to god damn it this guy's batting average not too bad. Have you ever had a woman? Whoa almost got it right there. That was inside fastball right there Have you ever had a woman who maybe trains in jujitsu who's able to clamp you down? She knows you're coming. Um women just have a natural jujitsu grip

They bust a nut. They go They really do No, yeah when they're busted a nut Yeah, it's like our tendency is to pull in why why why I want you to impregnate them through their mouth Yeah, it's true. It's like a biological urge to make sure that we get every last drop like this You're gonna be more often That's how we got pregnant Did you guys skip? Yeah, that's a couple times that just there he is

Yo, that would Like a grown man. He has a grown man disease Yeah, somebody was telling me that back in the day the reason why our penises are shaped the way they are is because it's Just scoop out other men's cum. Wait, what what you have you heard that? Yeah, we're Wait, you should look like a shovel or something No someone was telling me back in the day Hammerhead shark Yeah, I mean I'm not shaped like that

But they said that the way the reason why it's shaped like that is to scoop out other men's cum Oh, you mean like the head being bigger than the shaft so it kind of pulls. Yeah pulls come out. Are you because it's your turn What I don't go take a shower. I know exactly back back and wash your own cool Back in the caveman days is what I'm talking about caveman. Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry, but you're talking about the white man Because the black man was not they didn't do that didn't screw we didn't scoop nothing My bad, my bad. It's like that's in a caveman day Well, then if like just as you know evolution and a more effective Evolution would have been if it was like a dog penis or a cat penis the cat penis has spines

Oh, yeah, and a dog penis when it ejaculates it it oh Gorgeous and it gets stuck in the female for about 10 minutes, right? Yeah, I know what that's That's my cat's eye That's when the spikes it yeah, yeah, please pull out a pull up a cap Well, no, like so you I grew up in a country where spay and neuter was not a thing So you would always see dogs stuck to each other, right? They would be like 10 15 minutes Oh, there it is. There it is. Hey, wow. That's crazy. That's insane whiskers on the dick. You know, that looks like Japanese candy Yeah, I'm here. What nah, man pause

Yeah, that looks like a you know when those porcupines are born. No the baby porcupine the little yeah, you know when they got the little It's fucking weird. That's a weird angle. Yeah, that's what what part of my looking at though All I know is whoa look at that guy. All I know is somebody had time on their hands. Holy shit Take these fun. Let me take some cat dicks Oh, what do you what are you doing Tom? I look couple cat cock photos some cat cock I'm doing cat head shots And I'm telling you it's hot everybody's going crazy over man guys are busting nuts over it great different levels of That's like a beautiful like flower. That means a Dave and Adam burrow

And now the cat begins to have sex the spikes are what can connect the vagina to the penis It's very strange looking penis, but it works What do you think would have happened to us as a society if we were stuck for 10 15 minutes after Nutting like if we now we're stuck like we just had sex we both came I think that it would be better relations It could you notice it get up and leave? It's like you get to cuddle. It's like a forced cuddle. No, that's what you have a switch What do you mean? What's the way it's not the game? So you're still inside of I come I pull out my switch. I play Stardew Valley or whatever stuck you yeah, you gotta do other things other things instead of just like what what are you gonna do?

Well, no, like it's great. Yeah, then it would come. Did you come take a nap? What because because you would have that obligatory 10 15 minutes You might be more inclined to like think before just fucking any girl. You might want to like Oh, that's what's good. That's why all the other animals do it because they don't do that. It's just instinct. They don't have nothing to talk about You see but see we have language we have thought process. We don't do things just by instinct We have actual ability to rationalize. So that's why we don't have to go through that shit. Oh We don't do things just by instinct. We have actual ability to rationalize. So that's why we don't have to go through that shit Yeah, but um But do you have to come for you to get stuck if I was a dog, right?

Yeah, that's so if I fake an orgasm, I can't get stuck. That means they know you faked it. Yeah, you're not stuck to me Oh, that's right. Get the fuck right. That's a cool thing. That's what we need. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah No, that's what girls need. What do you mean? So that you cannot get out of your duties of making us come but you but you can't trick us either by faking it Yeah, you got to be like, yo, you got to make me come or you know, but have you faked it? Oh, how I faked it. No, I fake orgasm. Are you okay? Check this out. Do you go for a long time? Well, check it out. Do you Yeah, do it that way. No, I know

I do 15 minutes sometimes I go long enough where a girl's insecure. You're fucking bragging now. It's so no, it's not I'm a machine. I just say forever. I just always could do it since college But I go long where they go. Is it good enough? I go now you good. I just keep going And make her feel like her pussy ain't shit I go I've had better I've had better Jesus Christ Oh, here comes ball one Do you think you're gonna you're gonna die alone, huh?

Not as bad as you We're gonna die alone, huh? I don't know. Yeah feels like we're gonna die alone I don't I don't think so. I mean, hold on. You know, you're same age, right? Yeah, one thing I like is is peace of mind. I love peace of mind Fuck just being just nothing bothering me. Nothing's in my head. Nobody's giving me trouble. It's amazing I love solitude, but I'm not gonna die alone. I always have good people around me Like my ex-girlfriend is my best friend like we're just we're not intimate. No, that's not my best How long were you guys together 10?

Oh, so it's like Yeah, that's it. Oh, you know what's funny like david tell a lot of these cats know who she is they know My um, they know her and but she's like my best friend, but I've been single like six. Yeah, I've been single a minute right now. Yeah, I've been single for a while, but I'm like Man for I freedom is dope though, but I've you know, I I devil and dabble Yeah, we know we know there's nobody that's really like I'm like, oh shit. I'm good Just go here in the brain sometimes you want something else man And it's not about not loving a person, but I think maybe we're not made to be really monogamous

You could still you know what I'm saying? I don't I think we made rules For for nature. It's like really it's like it's like when you relegate it like a greenhouse You rail relegate where plants can grow, but if you really let a plant grow it will go fucking everywhere That's what people are too. There's some people that stayed together. My parents were together for a long time You know, it was normal to me, but I don't know maybe Some some you're just not made to stick with one You know, and I think there's a lot of polyamorous shit going on now people are just like no, this is I keep it I met a girl recently who was like no, I I don't like monogamy. I like to fuck around. I like more than yeah

She was keeping it 100. I respect that but I'm feeling but she was tired of you He was tired. I know I was Yeah, this yeah at first. I was like, you know what I want new plus right who doesn't yeah, exactly But now that now let me finish. Let me finish now that I'm by myself alone in this house How do you feel? I I constantly miss her Right, and it's like I really do. I miss you and I miss your company. Do you miss my pussy? Your pussy's great Your pussy's wonderful. Once you're done with it. The pussy you're done. But how did you feel?

How did you feel where you like damn? I'm hot No, I told him I gave him the option to like be with other people but to stay together Why didn't you do that? Maybe I shouldn't take I might maybe I should have you know, maybe I should have so you were okay with that Um, yeah, I was at the time. I was just really dumb at the time. But now you're it's probably not it's you girl When you watch richer prior now his specials, they don't seem as funny as they did back in the day Why no it you know his albums are really they're great. Yeah the audio is great. He's more hungry Yeah, but like you can you can watch it and then some stuff will hit some stuff will be like, all right

But it varies. It's like carlin's sometimes you like goddamn and then sometimes it's like what you say modern day comics So it's like there's more punchlines and there's it's more in modern day comedy. I think they let things breathe I thought more back. There's a lot of ted talks happening right now Oh, we come from punchline area. There's a lot of ted talks going on. Yeah. Oh, that's what I mean I mean in the box. There's a lot of so uh, yeah, anyway ted talk just put a ted thing behind him Get to the fucking punchline. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And uh, yeah No, get to a fucking Comedy that's not judge the comedy. That's not I can judge. I'm watching something

Naturally to naturally to judge. Yeah, yeah, but and I'm a comedian and you are too So I have every right to talk shit about this art form now I just think you know get to a punchline. It's like a sport You know, you got it. You got to throw strikes. I'm gonna fuck what your style is you got to hit the strike zone It doesn't matter if you throw up this way. No matter if you pitch under you got to hit us It's same from comedy, but Some of the powers that be go, you know, it doesn't have to be funny And we're gonna give him a special if no funny

Yeah, fuck out of here. Yeah, like when I watch when I watch bill burr when I watch the guys that and the women that do I go, yeah, that's comedy. It's all you to do, but there's a lot of ted talks going on. I'm sorry Yeah, I know a lot. I don't say everybody, but there's a lot of ted talk I have the same feelings as you bro, but I try to keep it down. You don't like to talk about anything You're like this. No, no, no, remember. I know because I get in trouble Why do you get in trouble because I start talking shit about people and this and that and then I get It's probably getting the word. It's a very asian thing. What to be quiet. No, no, no, you guys are the good race No, no, no, no, you're the you think I'm like that. You're the sweet in the races guys. No, no, no, you're neutral

No, I used to be you don't want to cause no trouble. I don't want no trouble. Yeah, but once, you know, I don't want to lose my sitcom money They said I was gonna play the male man. I don't want to lose that Yeah, they don't want to say we went in a different direction. Bobby Lee I've said some crazy shit and I just you know What crazy shit have you said about people? Well, don't be specific man Oh, that's what it is. I talked in general. Just I didn't go This motherfucker's done some shit. Oh, that motherfucker you can suck my dick. I'm the fuck. Yeah. Yeah. No Just saying just speak in general. It's not about hating. I just go there's a lot of TED Talks happening

And as a person who actually does comedy, I go, wow, where's the punch lines? You get to just do that I'm afraid to bomb. I don't want to These motherfuckers come up with confidence bombing. That's like a new art form. So, uh Hey good. Yeah, no laughs Fuck that. I'm like, I hope this is you. You know how paranoid you get you're like, I don't I don't have 20 minutes Remember how you and you did and I Yeah, yeah, yeah all back in the day But that was a good paranoia because it's like it's the respect for the art form. We got to come with it

Yeah, I want that fear. No, it's like a sport. I better score points tonight. Yeah. Are you gonna get booed? We need to bring that back Boo! Get the fuck up. We need that back Boo! Get that bullshit out of here. We need that. We need Audiences, but we need booing back. Yeah boo. There used to be show there used to be showtime at the Apollo Yeah, and then you'd be like, oh, hell nah Yeah, yeah, the fuck off. We need that. We're gonna bring back tomatoes. Oh tomatoes and eggs tomatoes and eggs We gotta bring that back right because you know what's bullying. Fuck that. No Godfrey Godfrey the hook. Oh my god

Oh my god, yeah, yeah get away from me kid. You're bother. You know what Asians should bring back what gong the fuck the gong Bang a gong Damn it. Oh, not like, you know t-rex. Oh, yeah, no, no, no, no. Bang a gong. We need the gong again. That was um, what was his name? What was his name gong show gong gong? No, no, no What was it? What was the name of the host of the Chuck Barris No, that's Chuck Barris Chuck Barris. Yeah, there's Barris. He said he was an FBI agent

They were saying he's some FBI shit a lot of shit with that guy, but Chuck Barris was gong show when you stunk. It was like I we we need that I'm talking about when it's reasonable not just booing for a buoy's sake, but when they really stick you go Trying new jokes, that's one thing that's that's one thing and that should be you should let them know It's new joke night. Yeah, fine But I'm talking about on a regular Saturday night Saturday night Saturday night cellar or lab factory or wherever Boom do your shit. Right. He's like bomb. So, you know, boo. Yeah, yeah, fuck out of him We didn't like that shit Yeah, but don't you think it's harder now to get to become a regular at the cellar and get a Saturday night spot

You have to bring it to get a Saturday night. Um at the cellar esti shout out to esti. I love esti. I adore who's been Booking that place since the 80s. Yeah She's from israel esti. I adore him and I like when I'll I'll like suggest a comedian to her I say esti because I have to call it. She didn't like when you put her on the spot I go esti. What do you think about this? Come here. She goes godfrey. I like funny The laughs have to be here here and here It's it's too much of a space. I need funny. I need and I like that though Yeah, some of you to try a TED talk at the cellar you can't

What and these and there is it's such an international crowd. They'd be like And you feel the focus from where Saudi be like what the guys this guy's just garbage. What's why is he here? I love that. I love that godfrey two months ago. I was there and she put me Gave me five spots over the weekend and she put me out to me when David passed You were in new york. Oh, yeah, I was in new york. Yeah, and she put me after yamanica every show Oh my god, right? And I knew when I was in the fucking cellar and yamanica was killing

Right. I went. Oh, I know what this is. Yeah, and I have to hit this and you did it and I did it And they said you were funny as fuck. Yeah. Yeah, and so I know, you know, I mean, I know how to do it You do I know what it is But what I'm saying is is that but to get to that point on a saturday night to get stamped and then there's a band Yeah, there's a band too. Yeah, it's like Gerald you're like fuck because there's a band and they're dope I love the pressure and and the pressure is like Like everyone that someone's killing give it up and arty was arty. Oh, oh god. He's always there. So arty has energy

He's like, please I want y'all to Give it up And you got to be like what's up, yo? Yeah, and you got a bonk bonk. Yeah Oh, you're not gonna do that room You're not gonna and I like that. I like it because I believe I believe and I came from you can fly I came for yes I believe I can touch the sky

ricochet ricochet pussy juice Because you know, they get loose I believe okay. I love it. So I believe I come from the sports era. Yeah sports, you know what I played sports, you know baseball Football, you know, I did all that shit and when you stunk you sat on the bench I remember missing two. I mean ground balls. I fucked up two ground balls. I was a short stop two ground balls bomb hit my but and my coach was like

The fuck on the bench. Oh, what the fuck are you doing two scores, right? That type of shit slammed the hat and I deserved it sat down. I fucked up You know, we need that in this business. You stunk a god for you not going up I don't give a fuck who your father is god for you. Look at me. Okay. What they would say though is about us They're not being real Right. Who these guys that don't rely on punch lines, you know, I mean, we you know, we're like, you know Going deeper, right? And we're we have a message and we have a point of view and go get a podium then Okay, go get a podium

Go on sabbatical go get a podium and do speeches be in that category of Speech making but I can do the same shit. I can rant about shit. Yeah, I want punch lines in between like like Bobby Like when I'm talking about white people See, you know, I go on my rants, but I got punch lines in between I can do a clan joke, but there's punch lines and even the audience the white members of the audience You know, they're like that shit was funny because they're there for comedy. Yeah, doesn't matter what your message is They they're the laugh of regardless. It's nothing wrong. It's easy to be profound if you ain't got no punch lines You know what I mean? That's easy. Like listen, you don't understand that

The economy. Okay. Where's the fucking punch line? It's like john stewart who's one of the dopest comics. He's so good. He gets that motherfucker and he's so politically Oh sound. Yeah, and he buries Politicians, but he's fucking funny. Yes. He boom. He hits a he hits a certain thing He says something really hard. But bam. There's another punch line But you know the problem with john stewart. There's a new show. He'll say some really fucking deep political Bam, there's a fucking punch line. That is what i'm talking about If you can't be too preachy because they come to see comedy really

So whatever these people that are not funny and it's not funny They're just not fucking you're gonna tell me brian regans was doing it wrong carlin did it wrong prior did it wrong joan rivers did it wrong You're gonna tell me all these sam kinniston did it wrong. Go fuck yourself. Yeah, that's the way you're supposed to do comedy punch lines Tags. Fuck you. That's it. Oh, plain and simple. Bobby. You're a funny son. Fuck man. You know that Oh, because we're killing. We don't know what they're. Fuck you. We've done this a long time. Yeah. Yeah, yeah Yeah, fuck you and your punch lines and your fucking Ted talks But see because I grew up in the age back in the 90s when alternative comic came about and that was the thing

But they had punch lines. Yeah, they did. Yeah talking about garofalo. Yeah, they had park maren Yeah, yeah, yeah hat nozz walk. Yeah, that was the old because we had surf reality in new york It was called a surf reality was mark maren silverman. It was all it was david cross It was all of those guys down on the lorry side And and I I did some of those and it's like but they got punched like even though they did like kind of They came at it a different way, but there was a punch line. Right. That's all I asked me too. Yeah, I don't give a fuck what your style is Need a punch line. Yeah Even carrot top got a punch line, but it's visual. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, like boom. Boom. Bye. Oh, shit

even a fucking magician goes Because I'm next to you gonna have magicians with no tarah. I'm like, boo. Where's the tarah? A magician Just pull out a rabbit. Don't say shit. Yeah. Yeah. I'll be like, uh, my man put the rabbit back in. Yeah, tarah I need a tarah I'll pay money for magic. Yeah, but where does this like resent because if there's a there's a feeling and where does it come from? What what feeling?

No, what feeling you're talking about. No the emotions that you're going. You know why why? Because I don't know who you are I know you want money, but I don't have any But I have a particular set of skills that I've taken over a long career. Yeah. No, listen. Yeah What is this coming from? It's something happened. No, it's a passion. No, I'm just talking. Okay. You always afraid Oh my god, you always you were He's standing up. You always I'm looking at your bowie shirt and like put that fucking tail head pulls back on but that's a good. That's a good t-shirt. Yeah

We love it. Yeah, so what are you saying? I'm afraid of what? Listen. I'm listening Undepression Ice ice, baby Okay, go ahead. What am I one of my toddlers? Okay, okay. Um, what am I afraid of no because you put your fears and reflected on me I'm like you're like godfrey calm down. I'm like no. I'm just being bad. I'm not it's my passion I feel I have such a passion for stand-up. I love stand-up so much I just like the men and women that do it well

And it's and like I said, there's different kinds and there is a subjectivity to it. It's like beauty Yeah, there's ugly motherfuckers and then there's attractive people. I want to hit his bull Now you can be a cum attractive because of your personality. I'm talking about visual. I'm talking about shallow shit There are people who are Attractive. Hmm. You may not be your type like me Like I said They might not be I'm cute. But yes They might not be your type

But there's subjectively there's attractiveness people go subject. No, there's ugly And then there's like good-looking people period. It's like comedy. There are funny people and they're just people who stink But there's of course different styles of comedy. You might not like the taste but I'll go no I get why they like this person. They're kind of funny. This person's really funny. They're I get it But there's some it's like I don't get it. What are we doing here? Yeah, I mean, it is strange So sometimes I do look at somebody and go and no one's laughing and I'm watching I'm going I don't because usually I can go That's where the funny is that right? Even if I'm not outwardly laughing. No doubt. That's the switch. Exactly. That's the thing Exactly and then sometimes I'll watch somebody and and and no one else is laughing

But you know, they have some big deal. Yeah at next level. I know so yeah Yeah, so you gotta be you gotta do this. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, or they oh, this is when you know when you're bombing in a mainly white crowd. Whoo, when you're when you're when you're Joe gets reacted with Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, see yeah, but see there are This is called racial accuracy Like a black crowd like if it's like a bit like this

Fuck out of here. Oh, bro. That's shit. Don't fuck man. It's dude like or something But when what a white car, they're so popular for light. I go, whew When it's when your shit is answered with whew Fuck it's I that's when I used to do jade davis. Shout out to jade davis when I used to do history. Remember his shows Oh, yeah, fucking um, what is it? Um, you should double in double that was when dain cook was fucking Yeah, yeah, fucking when dain was the man. Those are fun days. Those were those were oh my god unreal and A lot of those shows started becoming Because it was all celebrities everybody thought they were cooler than the comics and it was like, you know

Everybody was just like this watching the show. Yeah, I'd be like, oh, but doubles was great because you it was hard to get a spot You had to be killer But once you got on stage, you would have like just fucking business cards in your yeah Yeah, you have to go hard and ds is there and you meet Vince Vaughn's like this Dobbery man. I was so that's fucking great. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you're fucking great. You're fucking great. It was the best Tuesday night Yeah, it was you had a good night. It was on even I got pussy I got pussy. I got the pussy. I got the pussy. I got the pussy. Yeah, but it was like what a great night But the but here's the thing too

The pussy game is very weird now It is socially it's social media made now Because now I'm getting that I'll meet a girl and she has that I just got a thousand followers energy I go, oh, yeah She's like, yeah, oh she got new followers. Yeah, she's at point two now Fuck this bitch or women not to not calling all women bitches, but this shit. It's like, oh god. It's this new I'm telling you it's this social media Attitude now like and then when you look at there you go, I go, what do you do? Oh, I'm uh, um, I'm an engineer

Great, then I'll look at their account and I go. Oh, no. She's posing. Oh, no. She has photos dude I'm a bikini. I'm on fuck 900 photos and you know, they always show the feet on the beach, bitch The legs you mean Stupid law fucking you know, it's those shins In the heat. I just want to I just want to ask to come down on them I match the girl on a dating site right match. Okay, right? And then we started talking on on uh, instagram Okay, and she goes, yeah, I match with you because we should collaborate. Oh And then

750 followers. Yeah, I got over a million a million. Oh, what do you bring to this table? Collab I thought what do you bring this table? Lab don't mean this. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Let's collab. I thought that would be a new You fuck it. Let's collab. Oh cool. She wants your numbers. She's clout chasing right clout. It's like we should collab I know me too. Yeah, no, no you just go because you go. Oh, this girl's hot. I'm you looking at a shit like oh, fuck Yeah, and then she goes, wow, we should collab do some funny stuff. Yeah. Yeah, like fuck That'd be hilarious Yeah, we're clamming. Yeah, or just oh, you know what? I wrote a fuck sketch. Yeah. Yeah. You just just Two rehearsals

Two rehearsals. I'm gonna hit it from the front in the back We're gonna put it on it's gonna go viral next saturday because I got the team I got high depth Didn't you have a girl ask you she's like you should put me on bad friends. Oh my yeah Well, is that you and sent you sent, you know, oh, I had a girl go, you know, I matched with her, right? I'm so funny and she's in bed and she's like, you know, I'm very good too And I know I live in the you know in the woods, you know, I mean in the midwest Yeah, but I think I would kill her on bad

Lord have and I'm like, um these and sent you as an animal You know what I mean? Yeah, you have to bring it. Yeah. Yeah, you know when I'm doing it with guys like you and stuff I'm at a level of 10 concentration. Yeah, no doubt, right? You see windows of opportunity to talk, right? Yeah, right. I let you do your thing. You know, I mean, but there's a timing and a rhythm thing and thing going on, right? Sometimes, you know, you just you know, you you're gonna die out there You're gonna die out there, right? I understand the time continuum They're going by they're going by like edited little fucking excerpts and they think it's equal to stand up and shit like that I know you jackass you don't even but let them go

Let them go into that They're heads sucked in fuckers. Listen and another thing too is uh, I was gonna say I Had a fucking good one too. Uh, oh dove david off. Oh one of my this was the best shit ever Once me and dove we're at the cellar. It's late We were both the last two comics and we're just talking on table just tired Well, and these two girls nice looking girls hot girls from texas, right? They come and sit next to us and shit. They come in front. Hi, you guys were funny and we're like this looking like okay You know see what happens, right?

This is what the fuck happened my friend. Oh my god. She's so funny. She's so hilarious. She wants to do comedy dove goes The greatest shit he goes ah, we already did it get the fuck out of here. We already did the comedy We don't need that shit. Are you coming? It's it was the great I oh, it was like it was great like dove is the guy who Gets fucking hot chicks. Yeah, I don't do too, but bitch beat it Like what the fuck you doing? You know what I used to be like back in the day if somebody girls would say that go Let me help you, right

I would meet him at a coffee shop. I'd be sitting there like you know sharpen a pencil and i'm gonna stab That's what i'm gonna. I used to do that though. I'm gonna stab you and it's three weeks later, right? No policy Right. Yeah, no now. I'm in like a improv group with Where's the donut? Yeah. Yeah. And now you're on a poll. Yeah, but I don't do that anymore Good. Yeah. What are you talking about? Okay, so go ahead He just went on like a mentor date Don't you know it was a mentor date until you're mentoring into your mentoring the worst You pick them up and then whatever comes out of their mouth, you know, what kind of date this is gonna be

Immediately, I'm like, oh, this is a mentor date a mentor. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, it sucks You're mentoring because they're hot. I know like fuck exactly how can you mentor me in sex? Fucking could I But it's like it sucks. It's like it's tough because you're like And you know, it's so bad. It's like The brain is so it's so it's so it's kind of mean because it's like you'll see it hot and you you bang it out Bang it and you get like I'm good It's like weird. It's like a weird

But there's some animals that do that they hit it and keep it moving like I don't know if the brain tricks you you see a girl like oh damn. She is holy shit then after a while I was like It's that's for men and women. But isn't your libido dying as you get older It depends on how healthy you are. I'm good. Okay. My bad. I'm good to go. I think I'm pretty healthy You know, you know, I mean, I'm not I don't you're not 23 But I don't sweat it like I because you know all the tricks and the bullshit And then when you when you fucked enough you just go

All right You've done it enough. It's like, okay. It's not like when you first travel to a country like damn I've traveled a lot, you know, we all travel a lot. So we're not like, oh my god. I'm going to that country I've been there. So I'm like, all right, miss. I'm a This is what I tell women. I say, hey miss talk to me like a grown man. I'm a fucking man I'm not no bitch. Don't That like I've never seen pussy before look at me and say he's probably fucked a lot. I have yeah

Just suspect that I think that every woman I see has seen a dick before I don't go Yeah, you haven't seen a cock. No, they've fucked before. Yeah So just respect that like that's how I talk to women. I talked to him like you've seen dick before you've seen guys before you've dated A lot who knows but I don't I come to him with respect. Talk to me the same way Don't fucking talk to me like I wish I had nobody wishes motherfucker. You swipe left swipe right now That's what we're doing. That's how easy pussy is now left and right. Okay Here's a here's a really good story. So one day my friend who was bisexual at the time now he came out came out I think it's all gay to me. It's under the gay umbrella, right? Um, so he goes

He goes, uh, these two girls were at the we're at cellar two girls One is I'm with one. He's one all this public display of infection. I said fuck all this corny shit. Let's go to my spot Right, so we go up to Harlem. I go with my buddy And he's you know, he's got because he would get girls even though he like dudes He got girls too. And so he goes, yo, let's go up to your spot. I say, okay, let's go. So we go we separate I go to my room. He goes on the couch. I ask you what color he is. He is he was a jewish man. I love it Go ahead. So he goes he's over there when in the my couch with some chick. I'm in the room all of a sudden Uh, there's an argument that breaks out and I'm like, what the fuck?

So I come outside like, yo, dude, what the fuck are y'all yelling about? He goes, you see this You see this? This is why I suck dick because of shit like this The funniest shit I ever see I said, I just started I laughed and bit you down. I was like He goes he goes godfrey how he got real jewish. How do you do it? Oh, I don't understand. How do you deal with these women? I go. I'm heterosexual. I can't I like pussy This is I have to deal with the bullshit. Yeah. Yeah. He goes see must man. We fuck and we go home No fucking games. Yeah, I go. I'm sorry. I I'm not I'm very heterosexual I'll take the bullshit. I don't I'm just not you know, I'm not I'm not gay. So he goes it was really funny

Every time I bring it up to him. He goes. Oh, yeah, I remember that shit. I go that was the funniest shit I laugh so hard the girl's like fuck you were like Don't get offended, but you've never done any gay shit. Never. Okay. My bad. No, I'm not even homophobic Uh, yeah, have you yeah, you pull your pants down you rub your your pubic hairs on my leg and shit You've done marking. I'm marking you've done gay stuff to me, but I didn't react to it In hawaii, hawaii, hawaii. Yeah when you're back when you had sunburn Remember that your back was burned from surfing. Yeah, this back. He goes like it's godfrey. Look at me That's when your hair was buzz cut when you had to buzz cut. He was like godfrey

I'm trying to surf. I look like a lobster. Godfrey. Look at my back. His back was fucking reddish. He was fucked up. Remember he was in pain. It was so funny. He goes, ah, I'm in pain I mean, it was so weird in hawaii. It was so funny. I get a little weird, right? Kissed a couple, right? He sucked a couple I did. Oh no comics. You sucked. Dick? Yeah. Yeah in my life. Yeah. Oh wow. Hi. When? When? No. Good night. How'd you do that? You just did it. When I was younger. I don't give a fuck. What age? How'd you do that? That's amazing. Hey, I went, I'll try. Wow. Wow. Damn. I've never done no shit like that. Okay, my bad. Come on. I can admit it. I'm fine. I'm 100% heterosexual. That's fine.

But would I notice about your New York comics, right? Love, vagina. But you sucked a dick, bro. And you just said, oh, what's the big deal? You're trying to pass over that. I noticed Bobby's trying to move on. Nah. You just did it, huh? Yeah, a couple times. What made you do that? Curiosity. So are you bisexual? No. You just wanted to see, let me suck a dick, see if I like it. The way he describes it, the way he describes it is that that's all that was that you could have. I couldn't get anything else. But then Dick was the only thing available to you. So you were like, Dick was the only thing available to you. Yeah. Because it's like, it's like, you know, people that live in the tundra or prison, man, in the tundra, in the tundra, and they pick up a beetle.

The fuck does that have to do with you sucking dick? They pick up a beetle. They want a steak, right? They want like, you know, flaming on, but they'll have his beetle. That analogy is so wack. I try. I try. No, that analogy is so wack. A beetle and a dick. Beetle dick. Beetle juice and beetle dick. Can we go back to the tundra? Let's go back. I want to listen to like, let's say I'm in the tundra, right? I have no money, right? And I want to listen to low end theory. Okay, right. But there's no Wi-Fi. I don't have an mp3 player or an iPhone, right? So I'm going to watch my friend Fred play the fucking, you know, my drums. I don't want to work. I just want to bang on my drum all day. Is that better? Is that better?

No, I'll suck. No, I suck. You do suck. You suck. You have sucked. Listen, man, I'm just saying, yo, I'm just saying, but you were curious to see if you were, you wanted to see if you were openly sexual in different ways. You wanted to try? Like, okay. Well, one of the funniest, right? Fred. Yeah, my friend. Yeah, you are right. You talk crazy. Yeah, I talk crazy. I talk crazy. Let's do it over. Yeah, let's do it over. Okay, ready? All right, ready? Yeah. What's your story? My friend. Yeah, your friend. No, I know a guy right there was like, you know, what's it like? You know, am I gay? So he went to a forest, a magical forest. Magical forest. Magical forest where the guy playing a flute with dicks out. Yeah, it's in the mist. And he went to the edge

of the forest, right? And a magical gay man walked out, right? Magical gay man, right? Isn't that redundant? It is. Sorry. Yeah, yeah. And then I think gay magical, magical period. Then my body saw that he had his pants down and my buddy pushed him, went back into his car and said, yeah, I'm not gay. But he went to that leg. What I want to know is he pushed him with this guy on him or something? No, he a magical moment comes out. No. And you go, no, pushed him away. I don't want to suck your cock. And what I did was I went, I'll take up. And you did it. You stepped. I didn't go to that forest. You stepped to the mic. You did the mic. Yeah. Okay, so what's this then? Oh my God. Because it's I don't want to talk about this anymore. Wanting to suck dick can't be the only

prerequisite for whether or not you feel, you know, a little gay or well, that's you're going to have to meet that that like for me, say for instance, like what else I like making out with girls. I like the company of girls. I feel sexual. You're just a little different than I would love to be eaten out by a girl. But I don't particularly love pussy. I don't have tried it multiple times. And I'm like, it's just not the sport for me. I don't know how many times you reach gayness. Like how many how many how many like how many pussies do you eat where you go? You're officially gay. You hit the line. I don't know. Is there a limit where you go if I hit 15? I'm gay or did you stop at 12? I don't know. It was like the last time I I say it's 30 dicks and then you're gay. 30. Where are

you at? What are you at two? Okay. Yes, I'm yeah, 20 more to go. You look like you're going to accomplish. Yeah, yeah. I got a mountain to climb. I'm going to reach it. Yeah. So I don't know how many pussies you think for me. I'm a Gucci. I mean snatchies. I don't know because it's like all pussy is it just differs I think so maybe my my second experience was really traumatized. I saw you on a date with that beautiful girl. Yeah, she's so beautiful. Right. She's like, Oh my god, she's next level. Yeah, but it didn't feel right for me. Yeah, it didn't feel right with I gave no energy. You gave no good energy. What was my energy like we're friends like we we we go in the water together. Her dude, she was looking at her like

so you were trying were you trying to do this to try to see where are you like dudes because I have sexual feelings. I've had threesomes with like women and men and I enjoy like the whole thing. I was like, Oh, maybe that's that's what's that. But yeah, maybe you're right. Like I maybe like outside of a threesome at the context of a threesome. Maybe I'm not attracted. You're more like the dudes you like dudes. But I like yeah. But I like the company of girls. Let me ask you let me give you a scenario. Let's say you went out on the road. Godfrey and Bobby lesho. We're in Cincinnati. All right. Right. We see the most beautiful girl in the world. Yeah. She's like, I want to make love to both of you. Right. But can we do it at the same time? Would you?

No. Why? Let you go first. No, it was you. Hell no. Why? You'll be like, let me get back to you. Got me. That's exactly what he was like. Come on, got me. Fuck that. Fuck off me. Bobby would do that. Come on. It'd be fun though. It would be fun. No, it would not. Yeah. That would be fun. I'm a regular guy. Yeah. One on one chick or if there's two cool. Yeah. My first one was with two Japanese girls. That was cool, man. I didn't expect it. Three. I didn't do a lot of that. My friends did. But I was always women that didn't want to do that shit. I always got those. I was like, fuck. But I was, my first one was two Japanese girls. And they have accents? They have accents? Yeah, they were real Japanese. Like real Japanese. Did they do this? They were like,

wow. Yeah, I had two. And then I did another one with these two girls that I was messing with, like separately. And then they came to my house. It was like four in the morning. I'm watching ESPN. And I was like, oh, shit. And I thought they were like, you motherfucker, we're both going to fuck you down. I was like, okay. What? Yeah, it was amazing. I didn't know. You know, some girls combined. Yeah, he cheated on me too. Yeah. And they combine and throw wine in your face and go, yeah, high five and Thelma and Louise it out. These girls came in and said, okay, you fucking us both. We'll do it. Yeah, it was great. That was just too, but I don't get threesomes all the time. You're like one of those magical black men, like in the green mile or the green mile.

That's a different kind of, that's a different kind of. Oh, the golf. We want Jack Nance. What's this? Oh, that's bagger van. Oh, you mean all the servants? No, but you know, they do, they make moves with the black man. I really hope that I can have a threesome the fuck out of here. He's naming all this out. Oh, here's your golf ball. Bagger vans. Yeah, bagger vans. You know, they really wanted to call it N word bands. We'll call it bagger. Okay, we'll call it bagger vans. No, shout out to Will Smith. I thought you were going to ask. You're so lucky, man. I thought you were going to ask me about that. Ask about what? The Will Smith stuff? Um, the Will Smith stuff? Yeah. Um, I thought you were going to ask me about the slap.

I swear to God, I thought you. Why would I want to ask you about that? I don't know. I just thought and it's I was thinking of what we're going to talk about. What's the street here? Yeah, yeah. But I thought that I don't know why I just thought, but you know, I'm surprised that you because you had Xiao Ying summer. Yeah. Yeah, yesterday. Bobby, I love it. I love your podcast. I love your podcast. Bobby, you know, it's China. We always talk. He's all, I'm told he's not cause listen, bitch. I don't give a fuck. It's like, oh, I'm just wishing I was just with her this morning. She, I, she's been on my podcast twice. She's so funny. She's so funny and so like hungry and so she's so like, and she's such a powerhouse. What are you doing? Yeah, she's here.

Right. Xiao Ying. That's her. Oh, her purse. Bring her in. That's what she was looking for. She goes, I have to go get my purse because I was with her this morning to help me out with my website and all that other shit. And so yeah, she goes, I have to go back to Bobby. I've left my purse. And so that she goes, I probably see you there. You know, she timed it. Guffley, I knew you'd be here. She wants, she wants more. She's smart. Screen time. Is that why the timing? Of course. She's so smart. The Chinese. He's very smart. The Chinese work hard and work hard. Laser focus. Laser focus. Guffley, see, you don't understand. I knew you were going to be here. City, city times. City, city. And I try to teach her accents and stuff. I'm going to try to teach her. She wants to

get rid of her accent. Where are we at, Gil? But I'm surprised you guys invited me back. Why? You're so fun. You were a kid, dude. But I didn't know because you know, you do a lot of stuff with white dudes. So I didn't know you do. No, yeah, I wanted, I want to bring that up just to be bring it up just to, you know, let's just bring it up. So they'd be like, that's not true. This past month, all Asians surprisingly good. Whoa. You know, it's just like, oh, is it because of everything everywhere at the same time? We're timing. Everything all the time at the same time. When no, you know, did she leave? I text you where you I want to come in, say hi to coffee. What do you mean, white dudes? Well, I mean, you got the wrong with Santa. He's from Chicago.

He's a Chicago. Yeah, but he's my part. No, I want I was like, that looks like a cool podcast. But I'm saying I don't because I don't always really get invited twice. I did marines twice. Yeah, I know Marin. But I don't really get invited. I did cigars. And I didn't get I don't always get invited. I'll do a one off and I go, when the fuck are you coming back? I don't know. You know what I mean? So a lot of times I was like, but Bobby, I've known a long time. Bobby's Asian. Maybe he's different. I don't know. Yeah, you might get those, you know, I'll be on twinkies. You know, it's a certain skill to do a podcast with you. Why? Because you're so fast. You have so you're so dynamic, but you bounce off of me. I know we do. I'm just

saying, but it's a different muscle. And maybe maybe they're afraid the whites. I'm surprised. They could be afraid. They could be afraid of your skill. I love that. You know, afraid the whites. I love that. I'm not afraid. You know what I mean? The whites can be. I've been told maybe why would they be afraid of me? I mean, what do I do? No, no, no, it's your skill level. Because that's why I got a lot of haters, maybe. And this is not me bragging. I got all the skill bullshit. I'm just like, why? I'm really a, I'm a team player. I'm, I just, I just go by whatever. Yeah. You know, what do you think it is? You're really thinking about this. I really, I'm afraid of my skill set. I think that the internet is like that too, where they see somebody

doing well, right? And they see all these things happening and they want to just knock them down. You know what I mean? A lookable levels, you know, maybe comics, white comics do it too. So I don't know. I know, I know. Well, we're, we're getting better at it. You know, who set out to Bill Bellamy, Pierre Edwards, Corey Holcomb. I did all their podcasts because I think we should, we need to be doing that with each other's podcast. A lot of times we don't do that because I know the white dudes do it. I do Mark Normans and Sam Arill's Bill Bellamy. I've met 30,000 times every single time I meet him. He pretends he's never even met me before. He goes, hey man. Yeah. Or he won't even acknowledge me. I don't think he thinks I'm a stand up.

How the fuck does that work there? I swear to God, he thinks that I'm like, I'm like a host where I work at a comic club. Why? He just doesn't know who I am. It's like, how do you not know Bobby Lee? I know exactly. I'm fucking mad TV. It makes me so mad. And I always, you know what's funny is I always Bobby Lee's, I'm bringing you up. I go, you're one of the funniest dudes. I said, that goddamn Bobby Lee, man, that motherfucker's so funny. And his paranoia is what makes it so funny. When he's so like, no, I don't know. It's a fucking great. And it's, and it just, no, it's in a testament. I hope maybe Bobby you'll get more shit because Asians won an Oscar. So maybe they'll, that's just that door. You guys are hot again. They have to, they have to reheat minorities.

So, you know, they got to reheat us. Oh, put the fire on them. Get up. Oh, you're hot again. Godfrey, I'm in the best place. Dark skinned black men with high cheekbones are in. I'm in the best place I've ever been. Because you know what? I really do feel that. The podcasting has saved us comedians really has because you don't answer to anybody. Yeah. I feel like you're creating your own shit. Like Rogan is building an empire. Literally, he's MacArthur. He's literally going, well, go west. I'll build that. Segura. I mean, she have a fucking multimedia fucking. Segura is murdering. And, and, and I give it, it's like, it's cool because you really find people who fuck with you. They go, I just fuck with you. I don't care what you say. And you can do that,

regardless of whatever. It's great. And it's like, that's what it is. We're not under the, I got to go and tap dance for this production. I got a callback and I got to, and there's some fucking jaded fuck. He's going to be like this. All right, go ahead. And it's like, it's really nice. Rogan could do whatever the fuck he wants. Yeah. You know who else can Tim Dillon can do whatever the fuck he wants. I love that. You know, and, and I want to get to that point. My, my podcast has been really doing well. It's fine. We have clips and shit. It's called in Godfrey. We trust guys on the gas digital. And I talk about my everything on anything I want yet. And it's been four years. It's done going on four years and I've done over 400 something episodes. And next time in New York,

do you have gas or are you serious? You got to come with the fucks wrong. I was just there three weeks ago. You didn't, you didn't ask me. I know I was just there. I know I was just, I did Kelly's Robert Kelly. Yeah, yeah. You got to do mine. I'm going to do your gas digital at gas digital. That's the skank, the legion of skanks guys. All right, right, right. Big J. Oakerson. Yeah, yeah. I'm on that. I'm on that network. So it's cool. You guys ever, you guys must Tiger belly. Oh, everybody talks about Tiger, but they love my, they go, you and Tiger, you got to go. You killed it. You killed it. Now today was amazing. But I was like, I don't know if it's going to let me back on any time. And then Jolien came. Yeah. And then you call me Oh God, we did my podcast

four o'clock. Click. Yeah, because I know you. Hurry up. You really didn't know you were. No, you did. You know, he did text me last year. Thank you. I always get more. I get more. Let's go. I get more baby. And I didn't, I don't respond to your texts. I didn't respond. I love it. Hit anyone here. You get anyone else in the room, but him and then you'll get back on the show. I'm going to get your info. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You guys is there. Yeah. Yeah. You, you know, I love it. I love California. I love forget Bobby. We were at Universal. You remember what's his name's a fucking, he had that, that club over there. Love. Don't love it. Yeah. Yeah. The club. And it was, we were out in the lock, you know, that

big, there's a big area in the Universal. Whatever it's called the city walk. That's it. City walk. My bad. You can't drive. No, what happened? What's wrong? What's wrong? The three colors. She can't drive the three colors. She does this at home by herself. That's not an oxygen tank. Are you scuba diving? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's a hold it. Hold it. I know it. I know what's coming. BBC. I know it. That's the British Broadcasting Company. You got lost in the neighborhood. I mean, they have the color of the lights and little colors. So when China, they don't have red, green and yellow. Is there a suggestion? Of course they have red. It's a suggestion. Oh, it's a suggestion. Of course

they have red. Yeah. Yeah. In Asia, it is a suggestion. Here, there's a law. I think Asian drivers are the best drivers. No, they're not. No, they're not. Bullshit. Bullshit. I had an Asian girl run into me on Highland and I'm at a stoplight. She ran into me and ran over the media. Like they are not the best drivers. Because that's legal in Asia. Listen, I was in Thailand, right? Some fucking cabbie hit a car from behind, right? Yeah. The guy that he hit puts his head out the window and goes, are you okay? The other guy goes, I'm fine. Okay, let's go move on. You don't give a fuck about a dent. But that's shitty driving. It's not shitty driving. Yes. We don't give a fuck. Right. That's why you're terrible. There's hardly any road rage in the Philippines

either. There's no road. Everyone sucks. Yeah, you're just kind of like, all right, this is right. I learned it when I was in second grade because I grew up around a lot of Filipinos in Chicago. There's a gang of them and my mother was a nurse. Go fucking figure. And my mother trained some of my Filipino friends to be male nurses. And they'd be like, yo, your mother, man, she's fucking good. And I'm like, I know, fuck you. Stop. Yeah, my godson is half Filipino traffic lights, traffic lights and traffic like stop signs should have a question mark in Asia. Yeah. Yeah. Stop. Stop. Maybe. It's up to you. It's up to you. Take a chance. Take a chance. But a lot of those countries, they don't give a fuck about that. It's always the fault of the bigger vehicle.

If you are driving a bike, you just like just run the very run light and you fucking block the fucking SUV is SUV's fault. Yeah. First of all, you're not supposed to be driving by a big vehicle. The bus is a big vehicle. That's that's driver's education. You don't drive next to big vehicles. If you can pass them up, you pass them up. But y'all are right behind the motherfucker, right next to it. Look at the big vehicle. Nice. And you get sucked under. Another thing they do in the Philippines is if there is like a vehicular like casualty, immediately everyone's phones are out and all of that is plastered on everyone's Facebook. There are no laws around like dead bodies. Manila. Manila. Like even in Cebu, like my niece's friend was just killed in a car accident.

And how my niece found out, she was like, oh, I think that that girl went to my school because all the pictures are just up. And you're like, oh, man. So in the Philippines, if there's like an, you know, like, you know how when an atrocity happens in America, they don't show the photos. But in the Philippines, they do. Yeah, it's so fucked up. So fucked up. Yeah. They don't show a hand on the street or whatever. And even like newspapers, they will kind of just blur the face a little bit. And you'll know, like, every, you know, the mangle the person. Yeah. Oh, wow. Wow. Wow. Yeah, that's crazy. So fucked up. You weren't even here for two minutes. Yes, I was there because you were talking about the bad driver that said Asians are bad drivers. I already said my piece. Yeah. And you're

discussing the shitty driving that the Asians were doing. But do you think there's three of them? But Godfrey, you think like, because in America number four, four, oh, six. Oh, shit. There's a guy behind a tree. I like that. I like that. Keep it easy. You're supposed to keep it Asian. Why do you keep it white? Yeah. Why don't you keep it all Asian? That's what I'm doing. Yeah. Right there. But yeah, he's a producer. He's married to an Asian lady. Because a lot of white guys are Asian fetishes, bro. He's like this. He's not answering. He's like, damn, you're right. I know my friends, white guys, I know they have fetishes. They don't give a fuck. They're like, I just, they're freaks about it. The white girls now have some Asian

fantasies. Yeah, they do. They like Asian man. Yeah, yeah. No, that's not fetish. You guys know you're trained to get them. My friend said that, right? White man is the best thing, right? You're trained to get them. You think the whites are the best? No, my white girl wanted Asian man. She's like, I don't want fucking Asian man. Yeah, you don't really hear that too often. But no, but it's happening. That's good. Nothing wrong with that. It's about time. Yeah, it's about time. Yeah, it's your turn. I've always been, I've always been like, white is at the bottom of my list. Sorry, George, but it always has. No, but a lot of times, what I'm going to say, a lot of times, and this is not knocking white guys, because they were like, it's like a lot of times,

you know, I used to tell my white dude friends, I go, you guys got to understand, you don't have as much game as we do. They said, what do you mean? I said, a lot of times girls get with you, because it's the easy way. Us, we're always, everybody is trained not to fuck with us, but we still get you. You know how much game you got to have when you come out defensive? Come on, the chess piece, which is the defensive chess piece, the black piece, white piece gets to go first. You feel me? Right, right, right. You know, it's what I'm saying. I feel it. But a lot of times, what girls will date white guys, because it's just easier, and you know, whatever, because they're white is no, they didn't have no game or nothing. I'm not saying white dudes don't have any

game, but usually white dudes have game. They've been hanging around us. Do you play chess? No. Checkers. He's really good. Are you really good? I suck at it. Who's good at chess? Bobby. Bobby. I'm not good. I just know how to play it. No, no, no, are you really? No, you got to know how to. You're like Magnus Carlson. And ping pong. I'm going to ping pong too. I can play ping pong. You play ping pong? Yeah, I'm ping pong. My name is... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. I played ping pong and I was in a Chinese ping pong club in Chicago when I was nine. I'm not, my teacher was Chan. And I had, and I held the, but the paddle, I held it like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like this, right? And then I need, I used to do it like this,

but I held it like this. That's the, that's the forehand. I mean, it's the forehand and it's the backhand. And I was in Shanghai, right? Visiting. We were in Beijing in Shanghai. And I went into a Starbucks and I was like, I was going to the bathroom. I go, dude, is this ping pong table in Starbucks? Wow. I was like, and my buddy Nils is white dude. He goes, there's a ping pong, there's this fucking ping pong table. I said, do you play ping pong? He goes, no. I go, damn, this is amazing. And so I go, and then the lady and the manager, it was pretty empty. She goes, she didn't speak English. She went and played ping pong. I said, yeah. Yeah. So I'm playing against the manager of Starbucks. She ripped you apart. I beat her.

Wow. It was 2020, 2020. I think it was 1921. And I beat it. These Chinese people coming in going, who's this black dude? I'm like, bang on, bang on. And I won. And she gave me all this free shit. I was getting a lot. Yeah. She gave me all this cookies. She was like, wow. It's like, wow. So good. It was great. Yeah. So I was decent at ping pong. I wish I was better. If I would have, when I was younger, I played all the time. But if I would have stuck with it, Judah Friedlander, Judas, but that's all he plays. He's a master. Because you know, Susan Sarandon has a, well, she was dating a guy that owned a ping pong place. It was called Spin in New York. Yeah. I met Susan Sarandon in Starbucks. And I was like, a Susan, I said,

excuse me, I said, you know about the spin? Are you part of the spin? She goes, you like ping pong? I go, yeah. She goes, come here. She grabs my hand. I'm walking with Susan Sarandon for three blocks. Wow. Down the spin. Wow. Downstairs where she was dating. And she goes, this guy likes ping pong. Wow. And so he goes, you know, Judah Friedlander does a lot of competitions here. But you know, I was lucky at Starbucks. Yeah. Ping pong related. I always go, I'm going to move for luck. Frank Calliando. Frank is good at ping pong. You know, who else is a master? Sebastian Madiskalka. There's no way we played and we did just for last Bermuda. And it's boring as fucking Bermuda as me and Sebastian. He goes, you want to play ping? I got it. And we're playing

and he was making me laugh. He beat me because he had me laugh because he was so dramatic. He goes, five, four. I was like, stop it. Sebastian was making me laugh. Great golfer, too. He's good at everything he tries. Yeah. Cause he and pool. I'm really, I was really good in when I was young. I was really good in pool because you played it all the time when you're little. You don't have a job. You just like pool. My brother was me and my brother good in pool, you know, video games and, and the ping pong was my shit though. Pool is for Filipinos. That's our national sport. Yeah. Pool was my shit. Like I was fucking, yeah, my buddy or my other buddy. We were just like dope and that shit. Long shots. Yeah. Well, guess what? What? I got to go pick

up my car. What car? It's in a fucking shop. What kind of? Is it a Tesla? No, it's an Audi. Audi 5000. I got to pick it up. But can I say something? I like the chemistry between you, you, everyone in this room. I'd like to do this again one day. Yeah. I like to do this chemistry again. How often do we get to come to your podcast? Cause I know you got to space it out and not, you know, cause, you know, twice a year is good. That's good then. Yeah. Twice a year is fire then. Cause you've got a lot of people. I get that. But I, yeah, twice a year is good. What month is this? No, no, don't plan it. We're not going to book you now. No, I'm just asking what month is it? Relax. All right. Relax. I'm going to do yours before you

do mine again. I hope so. Yeah, yeah. I like your intensity. I love his intensity. Cause I ignore it. And you like this. I have one. Tiger Milf. I did it yesterday. I'm stealing from Bobby Lee, but like they took chopsticks. Whatever. I don't know what the fuck. I love that the other Asians are like, what the fuck are you talking about? I love to see other Asians go, nah, dawg. Fuck out of here. Fuck out of here with that man. I ain't got Asians. I ain't got Asians. Yeah, you Chinese, I'm Korean. You know what I mean? Bobby, you got me fucked up. I'm Boogogi, you know? Bobby, it's Tiger Milf. There are a nobo. I'm Boogogi. You a chow man. All right. Hey, wait, can I, do you get the plug? Yeah, go plug your dates. When is this going to show? In two weeks.

Go ahead. Plug away. Plug, plug, plug, plug like the wind. Plug like the wind. Plug, plug like the wind. Yes. Go ahead. Plug. No, no. That's crap. It's, it's the grab. Check me out on Instagram, guys. You do live a lot, huh? I read it in Godfrey all the time. Sometimes I go on there. Do you ever see me on there? I don't fucking see you. Probably your pants down. I gotta see. Yeah. Yeah. Do you come on my shit? Yeah. Comedian Godfrey is my Instagram, right? Yeah, bro. Yeah, that's me. And she made that. I made that for him. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. That's beautiful. She made this for me. What a fucking cool thing you did. Thank you. Because I said I like the jazz type of album covers. Yeah. So I did. I said she goes, I will do it, Godfrey. Look,

bang. Thank you. It's beautiful. Your website is live. Okay. Godfrey, my website is Godfrey live. See what I'm saying? Yeah. Okay. Anything else? Yes. And my podcast is in Godfrey. We trust on the gas digital network Tuesdays and Fridays, 10 p.m. Eastern. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Thank you, Bobby. I love you.