TigerBelly - Ian Fidance is an Ant Inside Bobby Lee

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

A $10,000 bet is made. We chat final statements, the sleep-off, gay 90s, mongrels, Dick's Last Resort, and bike lane assaults.  Download NBA 2K Mobile FREE on the AppStore or Google Play. And use ou...r promo code TIGERBELLY to receive a Scottie Pippen Topaz Tier Card. Download the DraftKings Casino app NOW and sign up with promo code TIGERBELLY and play FIVE DOLLARS to get ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS IN CASINO CREDITS! That’s promo code TIGERBELLY—only at DraftKings Casino.   

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Starting point is 00:01:10 You know, and they haven't given me my demands, man. What are you asking for? A roll. Oh, that's a good one. What kind? Any roll. You acquired some rolls over the year. All right, you all right.
Starting point is 00:01:23 Look at this. Oh, you're fat. acquired some roles over the year. All right, all right. Look at this. Oh, you're fat. You're saying my fat roles? That was such a deep cut. I am. That went over my under my body. That was amazing. Why didn't you know what?
Starting point is 00:01:37 We're not changing these shirts. Because of that crap, we're not changing these shirts. Why is that? We're gonna call it like, because she doesn't like the way she looks at this photo. She wants them to redesign it. No, this goes as it. Okay, that was a slam.
Starting point is 00:01:52 We're not doing this. You see two different types of shirts to this one. We can keep these, but the ones where I look fucked up, like the chart, you have to charge more. You don't look fucked up. You look beautiful. You look like. You've never seen a mirror bitch.
Starting point is 00:02:08 That's what you look like. I know. I know. I'm sad about it. Look the way I look. You look amazing. Yeah, you look great. George kind of looks the best. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:02:17 So last night, last night, I met, store with Jean Hong. Okay, I love Jean. No two nights ago. We see this beautiful woman. she's sitting by herself in the patio and I go, hello, as I do. And then she goes, I thought you approached, hello, hello, what are you doing by yourself? And we talk. And then I go, hey, just hang out with us. She just walked around with us a little bit. Where is this? At the comedy store. Okay. And then she was with another group that were rocker.
Starting point is 00:02:45 They're in a band. Okay. And because she rejected me, I'm not promoting the band. Okay. So check it out. That was a sad story. Yeah, it's a sad story. I get her number, right?
Starting point is 00:02:55 And then she goes, I just want to let you know that I hooked up with someone we know that's a huge male comedian that I'm very close with. That you're very close with. Now you're very close with. We're all, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Can you tell me who real quick? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:10 Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah. Fortune Feamster, everyone. Yeah. Fortune Feamster. Oh, duh, that was like, come on, guys. And then the next day, I talked to her, hey, when I've done dinner, whatever, she's like, you know, I just
Starting point is 00:03:26 want to let you know, I just, maybe just as friends, you know, and that's, you know what that means. You're an old fat. That's a translation. That's the translation. And, and I was going to promote her friends bands, right? But guess what? Rockers, you get nothing. That's a slow clap right there.
Starting point is 00:03:49 You get nothing. You get nothing. You know, right? You just lost food. Oh, you're going deep. Yeah, I did. You lost food. No boo. You lost no boo I did. You lost. No boo, no boo. You lost, no boo. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:06 You lost everything. You lost. The sweetness of who you are. That's not good. That's not good. Writing around in your Audi. That's not a thing either. But also, I kind of just want to say, though,
Starting point is 00:04:19 that like, I really respect this girl and here's why. Why? She was upfront with you immediately. Don't give me the number. Don't make it seem like, you know what I mean, the night before. No, because. No, and when Ian gets here, he gets it back me out. Okay, I'm just saying.
Starting point is 00:04:38 I love people are doing. You know why people are doing. One of my clan. Hmm. He, if you see him, he's like God went, you know what, I wanna make the same kind of person in different ethnicities. Oh.
Starting point is 00:04:52 Right, I made a Palestinian one. I made a Jewish one. I made a, okay. You know what, South Africa. There we go. Why can I say, I made a black one. There we go. You know what I mean? Like spanky know what I mean like spanky haze you know spanky haze
Starting point is 00:05:07 Spanky haze is a black version of me Look up spanky haze. He's you know me. It's so it's like gone. Wait. I want to play this game. Who's the Mexican version of you? Frankie Cunonas Frankie Cunonas, there's a little spanky. Oh, I was gonna say Beetlejuice Frankie Cunonas, they're so little spanky. I was gonna say Beetlejuice. If you look at spanky, he's five, too. Okay. And Roli Polly. Yeah. And I've known him forever.
Starting point is 00:05:34 Yeah. In fact, 30 years ago, we came up with a movie idea called War Babies. Oh my God. Why do you always put it away? No, where our mom, you know, I mean, it was Asian. She had sex with a black, no. Yeah, a black guy had sex with my career mom
Starting point is 00:05:51 and also a Korean dude had sex with, but during the war. Okay. And we both came out and we're war babies. But where do you guys live? And we're in Korea. In Korea. Or Vietnam or whatever.
Starting point is 00:06:02 I don't forget one of those countries. What? This is the war baby. Korea. Guess I'm gonna write this I was country was. What? It's the world. Korea. It's the world right this place. War baby. No, that would be a good baby. Oh, Joe. That's gonna be a good baby.
Starting point is 00:06:12 Um, wait a second. Why are you so tired today and what's going on with your sleep? I'm not. How do you know? Well, I do know you. How do I know? I abruptly wake up at 4 in the morning every night And I can't get back to sleep. Yeah, no, I've definitely seen you hold your breath. We'll you'll snore
Starting point is 00:06:33 Right, so that's not about indicator. No, no, no, it's a Nostrils Right you snore I don't you do a little bit. I've started. What the fuck you're talking about? I've ever you do it I have never snore That's insane. It's like have you ever it. I have never snored in my life. Everyone has a saying, it's like, have you ever quived? I quived. Bobby. Bobby, I have you guys quived. Why? The whole so small, you can't hear it.
Starting point is 00:06:50 Sweetie. The little pocket of bubble in the penis hole. Isn't it quigal? Micropea. I have never snored a peep in my life. What are you talking about? Yeah, breathe heavy. That literally is, doesn't make any sense.
Starting point is 00:07:06 Why? I think I've never coughed. Have you ever seen things? I'm never projecting. There are people that snore and people that don't. If you can, One time in your life, we've never done it. I've never snored.
Starting point is 00:07:16 I've never snored. Never snored. Let me get a consensus of the room. Do you believe not one time in a whole whole life? Every night, she sleeps. Let me ask you a question. Do you believe not one time in a whole whole life every night? She sleeps. Right? Let me ask you a question. Do you sleep every night? I guess I do. Do you take an app every once in a while? Yes. Okay. I love it. So one night, do you think she's ever snored? Yes. Raise your hand. How would you know if you're asleep? Exactly. Thank you. Thank you guys. I don't.
Starting point is 00:07:42 What do you get so different about it? It's not a bad thing. No, no, no, it's not a bad thing. I don't care, but it's just there are people that snore and people who don't have that problem. I don't have that problem. I understand. I'm sorry that you're doing your real angry about it. I understand that.
Starting point is 00:07:57 I'm not fighting with you. I'm just saying that... George, pull it up. Do all people snore, Gilbert? He definitely said, well, do you have any of these symptoms, Klaila? Let's go through it. Look, I have, I have, I hold my breath in my sleep for sure, but I don't snore.
Starting point is 00:08:11 Like I've done sleep studies extensive and it's like more of a central sleep apnea. I mean, I will say you are, if anyone has strong lungs and has no issues, it's probably you. Strong lungs. No, but I think that I, I mean, maybe if I was like fully congested. I didn't think I snored, but every so often, somebody like,
Starting point is 00:08:34 yeah, but all of you guys are projecting your snoring bullshit onto me. I just don't snore. Okay, I didn't, I don't snore. I've never heard myself snore once. You're very defensive. I've never heard of someone. Well, of course, no one hears themselves snore. But I have asked my entire family and lovers and partners and people.
Starting point is 00:08:52 They're like, no. That's hot privilege. They're just being nice. Why would they need to tell me that? That's not true. Hi. I'm Kaleila. Nice to meet you.
Starting point is 00:09:03 Hey guys. Where's the job? You can see it. Hey guys, we're just gonna see you. That's up, bro. Yeah. Bobby's under the impression that 100% of people on Earth snore. Have snored in their lifetime. Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:09:16 Turn his on. Are you kidding me? Yeah, there we go, there we go. Yeah, there we go. You think people don't snore? I think you guys are blowing my mind. I think I'm about to punch them mind. She's about to punch someone. She's about to punch someone.
Starting point is 00:09:27 Well, I hit me. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no I know when you're coming. Yes, do you know? Yes. Okay. I can't believe that. Look at that nose. Only people. I'm professional store.
Starting point is 00:09:51 Look at that. Only people that are nor want to believe that other people snore. No, no, no. People that do not snore, no, people that think they don't snore also probably think that their shit don't stay. No, my shit's in. No, no, no! I'm not!
Starting point is 00:10:06 Yes! America! Yes! I love America! I'm here for no more! USA! USA! USA! USA!
Starting point is 00:10:13 USA! I'm tired of your shit lady. I'm tired of your shit lady. I'm tired of your shit lady. I'm tired of your shit lady. I'm tired of your shit lady. I'm tired of your shit lady. I'm tired of your shit lady.
Starting point is 00:10:21 I'm tired of your shit lady. I'm tired of your shit lady. I'm tired of your shit lady. I'm tired of your shit lady. I'm tired of your shit lady. I'm tired of your shit lady. I'm tired of your shit Yeah. I've done a sleep study. Oh, where are we at? Where are we there? And what they said? Do you record it? Not a fucking peep.
Starting point is 00:10:31 They said you do that snore. What did you do the sleep study for? I have, I hold my breath and it's from us. You're a lawyer, are you a lawyer? Yeah. I did a sleep study because I was having these like traumatic episodic of like wake up full-camped brief panic attacks in my sleep. Bro, because you stopped breathing your sleep. Corey, I'll leave sleep apnea, which is...
Starting point is 00:10:53 Corey! No, not intensely sleep apnea and not panic attack. Oh my god, I need a sleep doctor here. Anyway, let's race each other to sleep right now. He, what are you doing? What are you, I don't even understand. I'm kidding. Tell me the rules, I wanna do it.
Starting point is 00:11:11 How about this, all three of us, we sleep in the room, we record ourselves, we put up, we actually, I'm gonna be able to sleep with you two fuckers. Why? In the same room, you, I would be, I am, you, you would sleep with her. I can sleep with you, bro. I, I can sleep good next to you.
Starting point is 00:11:25 You know why? There's no one to stop. What if you're playing? What if playing? You know who's not gonna sleep? Me, because you both snore. Here's the thing, it'll cancel each other out. Oh, right.
Starting point is 00:11:36 It's gonna be worse. Exactly. Have you ever recorded yourself? They have apps. Yes. You can record yourself while you sleep. Well, here's the thing. I will say this. Maybe if I've record yourself while you sleep. Well, I've here's a thing. Okay, I will say this Maybe if I've been very congested and very sick maybe I'll
Starting point is 00:11:49 One well there would I go or that I'll ever snore but no one's ever told me that I Told you you've snored for 10 years not once have you ever said He's lying right now Yeah, take a note You're fucking lying are you fucking relax are you lying? You fucking relax, right? You don't tell me you're lying. I'm Please you look at me. Yes in my life. He's not lying I have.
Starting point is 00:12:27 I have. When? Oh, I don't know. October second, 2016. He also said, What the fuck are you talking about? That sounds good. He also said he used to work at Abercrombian Fitch.
Starting point is 00:12:36 That was a good laugh. And that was a bold face fucking lie. I believe that. Why was it a Hollister? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha and in my sleep I said, absolutely horrific. And then I said, who are these people? Did they get in for free? So maybe you shouldn't do it online. Well, you dream about like cover charge
Starting point is 00:13:15 and like if there are people coming to your shows what you're talking about. I don't know, I think I've always wanted to be like an intimidating dancer. What I've done is I, one time, made the mistake and took Ambien and had a sleep eating situation where I woke up the next morning and I had a stack of plates by my bedside and crumbs all of my clothes.
Starting point is 00:13:32 Oh my gosh. I did that on the plane here. Holes, hull sleeper easy. Who's bad news? Why do you always think that I'm mad at you? Me? Me? He looked down and said it.
Starting point is 00:13:45 That was a good test to see. That was a fantastic, a wide test. I'm going to say this way, everyone in the room figure out if that I'm talking about who I'm talking about. Why do you always think that I'm mad at you? That's George then. I don't think you're mad at me. Okay, good. What do you think?
Starting point is 00:14:01 It's got to be George or Ian. It's going to be Ian. It's Ian be George or Ian. It's gonna be Ian. It's Ian. There's a pro. I backed you up, site unseen with the snorthing. It was a test, it was a test man. It was a test. That's shh.
Starting point is 00:14:17 That's shh. That's shh. That's shh. That's shh. I was lying on her side. I was lying to my- That's shh. That's shh. I was lying to my... I was...
Starting point is 00:14:26 That's true. That's aptly true. But I don't know who told me they go, you should text Ian right now because I think he thinks you're mad at him. Oh, Jordan said that. Proudly. Yeah. I love her.
Starting point is 00:14:42 She's the fucking best. We're not talking about her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. I love her. She's the fucking best. We're not talking about her. I love her. I'm talking about you. Okay. This thing. Yeah. She's great.
Starting point is 00:14:50 Yes. Let's go back to Jordan. Yeah. She's great. Beanyam with Jordan is the podcast. We were gonna do that later. We were gonna do that now. We can do that now.
Starting point is 00:14:58 Let's do it now. Are you mad at me? No. Is that a thing or no? I think everyone's mad at me all the time and I convinced myself to not leave my apartment because no one wants me around and then I go out and people go,
Starting point is 00:15:12 where are you been? We miss you, a lot of y'all. And so I got myself a lawn chair that rocks so that because the second I leave my apartment, I can feel better, but I like have this thing where I'll like walk to the door and I'm like, no, just don't leave, don't leave, no, just stay, lay back down, no, do this, do that. And so I just create the story in my head that everyone's mad at me.
Starting point is 00:15:32 I see what I'm saying. I'm sure you can relate. No, I do the same thing. That's why I wanted to uncover and discover for myself, why I do it. What's uncover and discover? No, I was just, I'm just, it's just new podcast. No, I was just asking. When I was just gonna learn from you, I asked you a question because it's something that I do.
Starting point is 00:15:51 That's why I said uncover and discover it, but probably the wrong terminology. I liked it. Why did you ask if it was like what it was? Because I wanted to know more. Okay. So we introduced our guests. I don't think so. I like it. Sorry, that's a little hot. I'm sorry. I liked it. No, I'm sorry about it, but let me introduce you then. But I just want to say one more thing. Yeah. Breathing heavy is not snoring.
Starting point is 00:16:05 Okay, can I just say, I want to say one more thing. Okay, everyone in the room gets one more thing and then we'll move on. Okay, breathing heavy. This is all you have to get away. One more thing. Yeah. Yeah, wait, hold on. Let me just tell you the rules.
Starting point is 00:16:16 Where are the rules for everyone? That's three. Okay. You say one time you can't rebuke and that's it. Okay, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry about it. But let me introduce you then. But I just want to get away well to top up. Yeah, say it wait hold on let me just get tell you the rules Where are the rules for everyone? That's three. Okay, you say it one time you can't rebuke and that's it. Make your statement
Starting point is 00:16:31 Breathing heavy when I sleep is not snoring Very nice done. Thank you. Who's next? Very good. Go ahead. No, please ladies first I've slept next to you for 10 fucking years. You've stored 100% many times. Please. You should have gone second. That was a good move. You should have gone second. You should have gone second. I just realized why. She's really bad. She's really bad. She's like legitimate, little bad. You should have gone second. He got you with that. I love it.
Starting point is 00:17:09 I love it. She got you. I should legitimate. Maybe Ian can say it for you if you look at him directly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Go ahead. Go ahead. My final statement? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:17:29 So what? Dude. No, that didn't work. That didn't work. That didn't work. That didn't work. That didn't work. That didn't work.
Starting point is 00:17:38 That didn't work. That didn't work. That didn't work. That didn't work. So what? So what? Come on. He's a liar. So what comma. So what comma. So what comma. He's a liar.
Starting point is 00:17:46 So what comma. You already spoke devil. Sammy Coleman. Sammy Coleman, a man speaking. Colin, if you snore, if you don't, what does it matter at the end of the day? Oh, I get to speak. No, you can do the same.
Starting point is 00:18:06 I'll say it right, that was it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You wanna speak? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. NBA 2K mobile is here, guys.
Starting point is 00:18:16 When I'm on the road, you know, I used to play star do, but I don't anymore. I play NBA 2Ks. I'll do the reason why is because the graphics are amazing. Right here I see this. I can pick these cards. I got a collection there, money. I got another collectible.
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Starting point is 00:18:49 join forces with your friends like Bobby does and cruise mode and dominate the court as a team. Honestly, I've never seen Bobby this into basketball in my life. Because look at the graphics. It's so realistic. And the play is so it's easy to play, but it's also challenging, okay? You can customize stuff, you play one by one, two by two, and three for three. Yeah, like Bobby says, there's lots of customization options. One V1, you can play two V1.
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Starting point is 00:21:06 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait the set, right? That was it, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What do you want to speak? You know, I'm gonna grow. I'm gonna grow. I'm gonna grow. I've never seen you this mad, by the way.
Starting point is 00:21:33 I'm really not that mad. Okay, good, good. I'm so fucking mad. I know. Yeah. I saw something switch in your mind, like a betrayal. I'm not done with my statement. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:42 That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. That's not me. That's me colon. That's me colon. I think we should all have a sleep off. Hmm. I really don't like being alone. Okay.
Starting point is 00:21:54 Wow, wow, wow. Really, really. I'm gonna say no to that one, Pat. You're gonna pass on that. I'm gonna pass on that. I don't know, I'm never gonna, never gonna. It's a bit. Ah, ah, ah.
Starting point is 00:22:03 Yeah. All right. No, I really want to do this. It's a bit. Ha000 55,000 55,000. You got a side bag. Where's the 500 coming? What is it? Split down the middle. Okay, sleep off. Sleep off. Sleep off. Sleep off. Sleep off 2023 holiday edition. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit. Amit I'm gonna be right. Yep, that's how it works. You may be right. Mama, you be crazy.
Starting point is 00:22:47 Okay. So anyway, let's go back to the introduction. Don't say anything until I do it. Thank you. I don't interrupt. So a couple of years ago, I was, people have said, talked about this guy, he in fight ads. Oh, I'm sorry. Don't say this. So, a couple of years ago, people said,
Starting point is 00:23:05 talked about this guy, he ain't fighting, oh, I'm sorry, don't say anything at. And I go, what is it? And they go, he's a funny guy from New York. I go, what is it? Well, because that's, what's so funny? I saw it, I was like, what is it? And they go, he's a comic, I'm wearing like a comic.
Starting point is 00:23:29 And then I think we went to New York, me and Andrew, and then you did a show with us at the Hudson, whatever it is, whatever it is, the Barclay. GrandmBC. GrandmBC. And then, okay. And when I saw him perform, I, okay, I believe. And when I saw him perform,
Starting point is 00:23:47 I was like, holy shit, I know what it is. Wow. I know what it is. And this is what it is, is if this man was an aunt, he would live in my butthole. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:02 Uncover, discover. Uncover and discover and discard. Okay. And so this guy is a whimsical sexual creature. He is legitimately, what I love about him too is he's sober. And we relate on that aspect. But when you take away the alcohol and drugs, right, from a comic, especially it got people like him, you see the nuts, you see the nuts and bolts, and it's cray cray. It's pure cray cray on the deepest levels. It's a meal, and I'm full. But it's a delicious meal. Yeah, yeah, too much, too much for good. And his name, he has a podcast called Ian Beane. Beane with Ian, with, please.
Starting point is 00:24:53 Ian Finans and Jordan Jensen. And I did it in Brooklyn, went to your place. And it was a pleasurable experience. Then we had pizza and then we also had a couple of a problem that I fucked up on but we're not going to get into that. We'll get into that. No, we don't talk about it. We'll talk about it. Yeah, but we're good. Ian Finance, give it a round of applause. Thank you. What an incredibly one step forward
Starting point is 00:25:25 to step back in production. What do you mean? It was incredibly kind, but I didn't know where it was going at times. It went the right way. And then you said, I was delicious, but you said, I'm full. I don't know, should I leave? No.
Starting point is 00:25:44 And then we did get pizza. We got donuts and... But that's insane. I'm so happy that you came and I'm so happy to be here. Yeah, I've always wanted you to be here. Yeah. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy to be here.
Starting point is 00:26:00 I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy to be here. I'm so happy to be here and I'm so happy to be here Yeah, I've always wanted you to be here. Yeah, and it was really good to see you here. Yeah, it's good to see you Well, you know what else you helped me with is yes, but I think we got I don't know if I should say it but anyway, hmm So I was doing your podcast remember what happened afterwards I think you had an audition.
Starting point is 00:26:26 No, no, it was an audition. It was a walk on. So no, let me just say it then, please. Yeah, yeah. So I get a call from my agent's going, right now, they need this for a movie. Yeah. And I can't tell you the director
Starting point is 00:26:40 because I think he fucked me. I don't think he used me and then I think he never called and too. Right? So we did all that for nothing. Well, you know me. Oh, you helped him with that. But it was worth it.
Starting point is 00:26:51 It was fun. He got it, he got to call him and was like, hey, it was, it was totally insane. It was like, hey, we need you to act like you're on a podcast right now. Do you act, can you get to a studio? Can you do anything where it looks like your podcast ever literally in the studio in my apartment and my basement. Yeah, and it was perfect.
Starting point is 00:27:09 It was a, he had to read something and it was like he was doing like a live stream. But Bobby was so kind that he said, I'll do it, but you guys sit next to me and act like it's our podcast together. So if we, we, if I get it, you guys will be in the movie and I'll split. No, they were gonna use that. Yeah. So they're going, whatever you shoot right now, do it like this. We're gonna cut it into this big fucking movie. Yeah. Right? And I'm like, also we're gonna just, I'm not gonna, I'm gonna keep you guys in it. Yeah. In a wide. So they can't cut out of it. So you guys can be in this movie. It was so cool. Yeah. It was like, they never used it. I think because you put us in it. Oh, you think I don't know.
Starting point is 00:27:52 What movie? Maybe. It's former seven. Yeah. But anyway, they didn't use it. And it's fine. And it's fine. Ah! Jesus. Ah! I just vaping so much. You gotta go back to analog. Do vintage cigarettes. That's the way to go.
Starting point is 00:28:14 What do you think? I kind of, I think, yeah, maybe. I don't know. Vaping is pretty. Pretty good. Yeah. Oh. Hey, do you think it is?
Starting point is 00:28:23 Yeah. Have you tried to quit smoking? Yes. Yeah. And I didn't go to vape. Hey, you think it is? Yeah. Have you tried to quit smoking? Yes. And I didn't go to vape. What'd you do? I went with the gum, I did the patch, I did our toothpicks, and then I just went back to it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:38 I got nothing else. I don't drink, I don't do drugs, I don't do like weed or anything, mushrooms, nothing. I mean, when did you get so much cigarettes? The first time or the millionth? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, anything, mushrooms, nothing. I mean, when did you get so many cigarettes? The first time or the millionth? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, living shop I was working in a silver house like I fired for drinking I went on the road and then it up buying coke and fucking what I found out was drywall gypsum from almost guy outside of a bar called the gay 90s and many I was fucking gnarly yeah yeah and then what happened that the gay 90s? I the I was walking around just going cocaine cocaine. Does anyone have cocaine? And it was a very, it was the urban night there.
Starting point is 00:29:33 And what does that mean, please? Black. And I, the like one white guy that gave me coke was like, you get out of here. These brothers on like and you know, I was like, okay, I'm sorry. So you sold me the coke. I left, I wanted more, so I bought some off a guy
Starting point is 00:29:49 in the street, and that turned out to be like, drywall dust. So, I had coke and drywall dust, and then I got a prostitute, and I couldn't get it up, so we just ate trail mix, and I made her put on my glasses. We watched TV.
Starting point is 00:30:02 I had the picture of you. I had the picture of you. You do? You do? You do? It's so sweet though. Yeah. That was your last night. No.
Starting point is 00:30:11 That was like the beginning. Oh, that's the beginning. No, on the flight out, I got drunk at the bar and pissed myself with the flight and stole a bottle of water. Oh, wow. And that was like your life every day then. It was the second I put it to my lips, everything goes to shit. Which I used to hate, and I would keep drinking to be like, it's not gonna be that way.
Starting point is 00:30:28 It'll be different, you'll handle it. But God bless whatever is out there, that when I put it, when I put out all my body, everything goes to shit, which now I see as a blessing because it, my bottoms happen so fast. Me too. That it, there's no chance for me to elongate it. Like a lot of people like if I drank or did drugs again, I might die and I could
Starting point is 00:30:49 die the next day and I'm like no, no, no, the war I would wish to die because a worse thing that can happen to me would be to drink and everything be fine. And nothing bad happened. So I go, oh, dude, you can handle it. Look at that. And then it's a chase to keep having a night that's okay when every other night after that is fucking mayhem. Yeah, I don't understand how people can live
Starting point is 00:31:14 with the spiritual pain of being out there. I know dudes, to this day, but out there for 20 years, comics. Yeah. And I see them deteriorating before my eyes, and they're able to just hang in there, right? But for me, six months tops for me, you know what I mean? And then I start feeling it. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:38 Like I feel depressed, I feel like it's all going to shit, and I can't live with myself. Right. Well, it's even tougher when you've been sober for everybody knows. And then you can't drink around anyone. Right. Nobody wants to be involved in that. Yeah, yeah. And then you're the nightmare guy.
Starting point is 00:31:53 And then you're drinking a bottle whiskey behind a dumpster at 8 a.m. Yeah. You're hiding from your roommate. I just thought you're, I would get messages DMs about, hey, we saw Bobby out of bar. Yeah. Like drinking or you would go to the dispensary and people would go, Yeah, okay, first of all, the dispensary, the guy,
Starting point is 00:32:09 I know what, I'm not gonna go blow them out of the water, but I go to the dispensary, right? And I buy weed. And he's just kind of like, are you sure, man? Oh. I was already been out. I go, yeah, you sell weed here, right? I'm sure.
Starting point is 00:32:26 Oh, yeah. Right. My money's green. Yeah. And I bought it. He DMs my girlfriend at the time. That was actually a girl who did it. A girl.
Starting point is 00:32:36 Oh, my God. It was a from. I thought you're going to say bedbath and be on. Oh, yeah. That's a beyond department. Yeah, but. And I, um, it's just like, why do they call you and tell you and random me? I'm probably because they're huge fans of you.
Starting point is 00:32:53 And we're worried that you were spiraling. You're caring for me. Of course, yeah. And maybe she didn't know that I, you know, I didn't know at that time, actually, that you had relapsed. Well, actually, no, it was Esther who outed you. Esther, please. Esther outed me!
Starting point is 00:33:08 Fucking bitch. Oh, I'm gonna get that little monster. That's good. Yeah. But yeah, I don't understand how people stand it out there. As soon as I'm out there for three or four months, five months, I'm toast. They stand it because you keep drinking to make that feeling go away. I know.
Starting point is 00:33:23 It's like the worst having sobriety time in your pocket and knowing that you were sober and then drinking like the shame and the self-hatred and everything just grows. So you just have to keep getting drunk and fucked up to make that go away. And then it's like this cycle that you can't get out of and thank God you take a sober breath for him and you're like, oh, fuck.
Starting point is 00:33:41 And you just have a little bit of willingness in a window to fucking kick it open and jump, oh, fuck, and you just have a little bit of willingness in a window to fucking kick it open and jump through to the other side, you know? And whatever that may be, for some people, it's like a deep, deep bottom, you know, for some people, it's, you know, like losing everything or this at the other and for others,
Starting point is 00:33:58 it's like, well, I don't like hangovers, but I don't really judge on what people's quote-unquote bottom is, you know, it's quote-unquote bottom is. You know, it's just a matter of recognizing that. Like, I would, I mean, there's nothing sadder than not being able to look yourself in the eye, like in the mirror and be like, who the fuck is that dude? Yeah, this sucks, you know. And that is, is, is a terrible place to be.
Starting point is 00:34:22 Yeah, but I also have the ability to look into the future. So I go, this is my behavior now. Now let's see, at this continues, two years from now, what is my life look like? Oh, right. Some people can't do that. I can let's play in the tape through. Yeah, I can do it.
Starting point is 00:34:37 I can go, oh, this is gonna be bad. Yeah. You know what I mean? So it's like, I have to stop now. And I think that's what you kind of have to do. Or you hit the ultimate bottom where you're like homeless on the street, hobo, you know. I mean, that's one way I'm doing it.
Starting point is 00:34:53 Or you're in a hospital, hook up the tubes. But for me, I don't want to take in your IV out, spraying the nurses with blood, spike in the IV bag, like a football, telling them they just give you vodka, you'll feel bread or you spit on a nurse, they put a spit mask on you, and you're on Tixie Com, and your neighbor tries
Starting point is 00:35:10 to take care of your cat, you end up fighting him on the way to detox. Right? Right. Right. Right, right. Relatable. You know what I, but you remind me of,
Starting point is 00:35:24 I don't know, you and I have so much, I just, before you got here, I was telling everybody that like, there's, you're like kind of like a Jewish version of mail. Thank you. Did you wish? A little. Yes, I found out through 23 and me.
Starting point is 00:35:37 How much? Like 12% Ashkenazi. I think I'm like 1%. Really? Yeah, I have a little bit too. I want to tell you. I want some. You take a 23-me and find that out.
Starting point is 00:35:48 You take some hard stances after October. I'll tell you that much. Yeah. You really stick your neck out for your newfound people. Did you? Oh, yeah. I think it's very bad. You found out you were 10% Japanese.
Starting point is 00:36:06 Yeah. Really. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. Did that change anything for you? Well, I mean, I don't stand with Japan, if that's what you want to know. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:36:15 No? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I stand with Korea. So, uh, yeah. No, no, no, I, um, okay. To me, I always knew that though. I stand with the other guys. No, I stand with everybody. Yeah, me too. I love the stand. I always knew that though. I stand with the other guys. I said with everybody. Yeah, me too, I love the stand.
Starting point is 00:36:27 I'm a stander, I'm a stander. I'm sitting because there's a chair, but I'd rather be standing. Yeah, but I always knew that Koreans and Japanese were the same people almost. Really? Because we all came down from, we have, you know, Mongro.
Starting point is 00:36:42 Mongro, DNA, and we traveled down together, but they were the ones that took boats and went on the other side. Mm-hmm. What is so funny about that? You say Mongrel instead of Mongrel? Oh. We both said Mongrel.
Starting point is 00:36:54 I was like, no, you said Mongrel. Yeah. You cop, I cop, I cop, you. Is that what you're laughing at? Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Oh, it's Mongrel. It's Lloyd.
Starting point is 00:37:04 Oh, no, stop. Mong-to-low-eyed. What? Did you just call me a mongrel? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. You did. No.
Starting point is 00:37:13 I'm nervous. No. You know what? You know what? You know what? You know what a mongrel is. Mongrel is a mix. It's a dog.
Starting point is 00:37:21 Yeah, I'm a mongrel, because I'm a mix. That's not bad. Mongrels are the motor cycle club. They're motor cycle. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a, like I'm a mongrel because I'm a mix. That's not bad. The mongrels are the, are motorcycle club. They're a motorcycle club. Yeah, yeah. Out of all, it's a mongrel. Also the hardiest dogs, the hardiest dogs, because of the DNA mixing, they tend to have as many like
Starting point is 00:37:35 diseases and health issues. So it's good to be a mongrel. Yeah, I'm good. Okay, well that's a good thing. Oh, thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Yeah. Are you gonna live in New York forever?
Starting point is 00:37:43 Yes. Yes. Yeah. you're welcome. Yeah. Are you gonna live in New York forever? Yes. You're doing great. Yes. Yeah. I've been in the same apartment since 2007, been New York since 2003. I love it. I got my little lawn chair.
Starting point is 00:37:55 I love your place. But you know what I love about you? You're sexually free. Oh. Free. Whoa. Yeah. Sort of.
Starting point is 00:38:03 Like you don't have weirdness about your body or, I just feel like you're like free like me in terms of love. Yeah. Whoa. Yeah. Sort of. Like, you don't have weirdness about your body or... I just feel like you're like free like me in terms of love. Yeah. Like, you've been... Took a while to get there. You know? I feel like if I invited you to a spa. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:38:14 You wouldn't have, like, I brought in Edwards to a spa, Korean spa once. Yeah. And he got, nah, I'm not gonna make it right. And then he found basketball shorts. He didn't bring any. I don't know where he found them. That's so funny. Where the fuck did you find those?
Starting point is 00:38:27 I just found them over there. Any wore basketball shorts into the spa. Poor trash, basketball. He was street shorts. Yeah, yeah. Would you, if we went to the spa, would you get Ninega? I mean, don't they have towels?
Starting point is 00:38:40 I'd go to like a ross and get boxes. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, right. Well, you're not the same kind of guy as me. Oh, but all right. Where are we going? You're not the same kind of guy as me. Wait, are you supposed to get naked at the spa? Yeah. Do you have time to go this week with Bobby? I'll go right now.
Starting point is 00:38:53 No, how long are you in town for? I leave tonight. You do? A time. Okay, we can't. 11.30. No, we can't. No, we can't.
Starting point is 00:39:01 We're not gonna be back. 11.30. Why, I can never come back. Yeah, I am. We have to go to Korean spa. To. Korean spa. We're gonna be back. We're never come back. Yeah, I am we have to go to Korean spot to Korean spot. Well, you get naked though I'll get naked. Why the fuck not? Who cares? It's just like a like a rock I'm gonna rock it up. I'm gonna go by fucking it by a sweat suit No parameter
Starting point is 00:39:17 Oh, right right right. I think because there's Russian spots Oh, yeah, yeah, which means some friends we're gonna go to and we were all like why gonna get shorts? I gotta get a bikini. I gotta get this. I I didn't know if it's a naked place. I'll get naked It's fully naked. I'll do what the natives do. Yeah, yeah I'm gonna scare your dick. Well, I'm not why not a true true. I would I think we could have some fun in there Yeah Cock-on-cock-on-cock-talk I'd sit there and make the B-hole move and go, boob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob-bob Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that scene was that's a great scene wild. Yeah, that's a wild scene. Yeah, I love that movie I love that movie. I like the movie before that history of violence. That's so good. Yeah, I've found action homes
Starting point is 00:40:13 Isn't that movie he plays it because kid. Uh-huh. Yeah, but what a great movie that is yeah, um, I've always wanted to be a guy that's like Secretly violent, you know what I mean like You don't want me to turn this on. Yeah, real. I think you do have rage. I do. Do you? I could feel it. It keeps me warm.
Starting point is 00:40:32 Yeah. Yeah. Actually, I went to a place last night that we go to get better. And it was very serendipitous that it was talking about the things we do to get rid of those things. And the thing I love we do to get rid of those things. And the thing I love is my anger and some of these things because I'm afraid to give it up. You know, I kind of like it sometimes. I have to. Yeah, I like being rejected or people say no because it creates a resentment. And then
Starting point is 00:41:03 I use the resentment as fuel. And it's not healthy. No. Yeah, yeah It's like oh you fuck with me. You'll see what happens Right and I remember I never get revenge. Yeah, but still it's one of those things You know, yeah But at the time you go okay I'm gonna just gonna motivate me to do this and to keep going. Someone wants to tell me nothing will motivate you for success like hatred and anger.
Starting point is 00:41:30 Just waking up in the morning and hating to be better than a hurt and else. And I was like, I don't know if I want to go that. I know, that sounds like a lot. I know, but do you do that or not? No! I think I do. I try so hard to be grateful and understanding and happy and joyful.
Starting point is 00:41:46 I want to sometimes I get like these clicks. If someone's mean to a friend or something, I'll lose my fucking shit. You know, you know where I lose my shit? Where? I lose my shit. This happens every fucking time. I'll fucking kill for you. Where?
Starting point is 00:42:02 Who? Yes, of my friends on a stage. Yeah. Right? I'll fucking kill for you where? Who? Is if my friends on stage, right? And somebody stands up and goes and interrupts the show and he has to get kicked out. Oh yeah. And my friend is performing. I lose my show.
Starting point is 00:42:18 I don't know why. I have gotten asked to leave the seller because I was taking up for the waitstaff and they're like, you gotta go. Cause I'll like be like, fuck you. Yeah, yeah, be the fuck do you think you are? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm the same way.
Starting point is 00:42:32 I follow them out too. Yeah. I go, what's the problem? Ha, ha, ha. Excuse me, what's the problem? You doing a comedy show and you had a fucking problem? I get insane. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:42 Right, don't ever come back. Yeah. I scream, I'm like, and then why do we do that? Dude, there's this place in Vegas I get insane. Right? Don't ever come back! Yeah. I agree. And then why do we do that? Dude, there's this place in Vegas called Dix last resort. Do you know what that is? Dix. It's a restaurant where they insult you.
Starting point is 00:42:53 Oh, yeah. So the whole thing is like you sit in their mean and they throw stuff. I didn't know that. Yeah. I didn't know. Nobody told me. Oh, you were. I was unaware.
Starting point is 00:43:03 Oh, you were. So I go with Jordan. Yeah, and our friends Taylor and Brett We go in and this caddy fucking dude is like what do you want and I'm like Interesting approach and Jordan goes we'd like a table for four and he goes well You're out of luck. We're all out of food You can sit at the bar if you want and I go excuse, excuse me, and she grabs my hand, and I'm like, I got this. And what do you mean goes, what are you, the tattooed man or something? And I go, oh, do you run out of food because you ate it all, you fat fuck fuck you.
Starting point is 00:43:38 And do you fat? Yes. Oh yeah. He dropped character, it goes goes I was just doing my job What do you mean and they're like eat it? They're supposed to be mean They're supposed to be mean and he goes and I gotta be honest I've been feeling really low about my weight recently and I was like I'm so sorry I'm so sorry, well you know what you are but I'm so sorry and I gave a man
Starting point is 00:44:01 I said can I hug you and I hugged him again with $20 and we last 20s I'm not rich right That was right like that was a $1,000 slam That was a thousand dollars one of the wow yeah How did you not know like no one told you no a wow I'm thinking dick slasers or yeah, that's me at the end of the night I think it dicks last resort. Yeah, that's me at the end of the night. How do you get pussy, buddy?
Starting point is 00:44:25 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's go. Wow, a Jordan was with you. Oh, yeah. Yeah, they were dying. But I imagine me being there with you. Oh, yeah. We would have lit that guy on fire.
Starting point is 00:44:35 Oh, dude. Oh, I'm so glad I didn't, I wasn't with you. Some fucking old guy tried to fight me at a burger joint along Island. What? Friday night. What? Because I'm in line and that, you know,
Starting point is 00:44:47 someone moved and I didn't step up fast enough and he butts in front of me. I go, oh, excuse me, sir, there's a line. He goes, well, you just standing there doing nothing. I go, yeah, but I'm still alive. And so then I go up and he gets up like right behind me. He's a short little guy. He's missing a tooth. He's got a Vietnam vet hat on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, fuck are you gonna do? And he goes, well, let's go outside. And I'm like, I'm going out there anyway to leave.
Starting point is 00:45:28 Yeah, yeah, yeah. And some other guy steps in and he's like, respect him. He's a vet. And I go, yeah, Vietnam, he was probably drafted. And I go, I'm not gonna fight a guy with a fucking oxygen tank. He's being a dickhead. And everything, like a lot of people really didn't like this. They were like, yeah.
Starting point is 00:45:48 A lot of, whoa, whoa, whoa. I would have left the store. And I just go over to get my stuff. And then he comes up again and goes, and I go, hey, and it was about to apologize. It's like, it's like, it's like, it's 12 steps to suit. Yeah. That happened.
Starting point is 00:46:02 I got into it with a bouncer, the club. Yeah. He and I mouth I, and he walked away. I walked away and I was like, you know what, man, that was like rude. You shouldn't have been negative. This guy is just doing his job. I went up and I go, hey, man, I'm really sorry. I was wrong.
Starting point is 00:46:15 And you're just doing your job. And I recognize it and I'm willing to come and make a man. And he goes, program, I go, yeah, he goes, how long? I go eight years, he goes, I got 10. And we gave each other a hug. It was like really nice. But me and this guy didn't do anything. and I'm willing to come and make a man's. And he goes, program, I go, yeah, he goes, how long? I go eight years, he goes, I got 10. And we gave each other a hug. It was like really nice. But me and this guy didn't hug.
Starting point is 00:46:30 He called me a fucking jerk off. And I was like, I was gonna be nice, but you know what now? Yeah. And that's what it did to you, right? To like, yeah. Cause we feel it. When you do something wrong or we react, right?
Starting point is 00:46:43 You know, back in the day, if I'm using or so, I just let it go. But now we feel it and we have to address it. It's like righteous anger. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You think you're right and it's like, at the end of the day, it doesn't matter if you, you know, snore or don't snore.
Starting point is 00:46:56 Right. You know, it doesn't matter. None of this matters. So to get angry, to be like, why win? It's like, well, for who? So that you can win a thing in your head that doesn't fucking matter, you know? And then I said something, it was Long Island.
Starting point is 00:47:09 This guy's like old construction worker, you know, like, you know, the stereotype of Long Island, you know, like races whenever you come. And I feel really bad, because when I left, I go, it's not my fault, your daughter's dating a black guy. And I felt bad, you know. No, I didn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bro, does I didn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:25 Bro, does it speak to his family? Bro, yeah. No, but it's, do you ever do that? Do you ever like hold on to anger? Do you ever like pop along? We've been in situations where you had to, yeah. Well, like, we went off, yeah. So when I was really scrappy in high school,
Starting point is 00:47:39 I just got into a lot of fights. Really? And you grow a punch? Yeah. I went to like a very scrappy high school, and it's like you either got punched or you punched. So it's like, I got thrown into a bush once. Like you just had to be a scrappy bitch.
Starting point is 00:47:57 Anyways, but the last 10 years of my life. Oh, what? I'm just saying, I'm just saying, I'm just saying, you in a bush with your feet. Help me. Help me. Pull me out, help me. Oh, it's so true.
Starting point is 00:48:10 And I was just like this. I just come from the Philippines. I had never really been around like, you know, like mean girls like that before. Yeah. So yeah. But their mistake was they forgot that I was a fucking athlete. Oh.
Starting point is 00:48:22 So when I finally got around to being like, you know what, I'm gonna fight back. Like I actually had like muscles and agility. And so it's like they wouldn't fuck with me. But most of the last 15 years of my life has been very like very pacifist. Like it's not worth it. Path of least resistance.
Starting point is 00:48:39 So him and I have just been notoriously spineless around these types of situations. Like we've had servers. Oh the soup thing? Yeah, the soup thing. So him and I have just been notoriously spineless around these types of situations. Like we've had servers. Oh, the soup thing? Yeah, the soup thing. Like we've had like a hot boiling soup thrown on our face and Bobby ended up tipping him like $200.
Starting point is 00:48:55 No, he does more money. What? Yeah, like we're very spineless, but we did want guerrilla biscuits. No, no, no, you don't get it dude dude dude dude. I'll get it. Bra give it this is West Coast of eyes, bro. That's why he's not East Coast That's why I hate this. No, check it out dude. Okay, I think of this mentality dude bro. I'm like will you listen to me? Dude I'm listening all right tell me I'm gonna go back there. Yeah I pay him 200 bucks tip. Yeah
Starting point is 00:49:23 The next time which had happened, he'll chill the soup before he throws it in. No, he just set it down. It's a good spot, Joe. So anyway. Wait, why did they throw soup in here? He was, it seemed like he was like a friend. Like a friend.
Starting point is 00:49:39 He just kind of tossed the food in. He looked like he was having a really bad day. He was angry and he just slid it across and all the soups. Yeah, it's all over. It's all over. Oh, I thought it was like, you guys got an argument. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, think, because you're, first of all, can I say something? Yeah, you too. I lied, you've never snored. Oh my god.
Starting point is 00:50:09 We are 50 minutes in. You're full of it? You're lying as a bit. What? Why? No, I don't snore. And he's, I'm, thank you. He likes to see if he can write out.
Starting point is 00:50:20 Wait, did you really lie? I lied before you. He likes to show that he can rally people for his cause no matter what blindly defended you you do you guys have soup I get me a fucking thing a shabby into your camels you're going down no I'm not fucking mom roll you know what you call me mom oh yeah it's good. It's dog, it's good, it's good. Yeah, yeah. No, but we were in Seattle once in a movie theater and we got yelled at by this couple
Starting point is 00:50:52 in front of us for screaming out the jump scenes and the horror movie. The jump scenes, we were like, Bobby has a very like shrill. I do. I get really scared. Yeah, so do I. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So do I. Yeah, and so they turned. I clutch my, I go. Oh. Yeah. My, so do I. So do I. Yeah, and so they turned.
Starting point is 00:51:05 I clutch my, I go, oh. Yeah. My gay really comes out. This guy was like, big mad. Mad that we were making noises at all the scary parts. Right. And he confronted us. He was like, if you know that you're this type of movie watcher, why don't you just watch
Starting point is 00:51:21 the movie at home. And so that's. So I don't got a fucking red box near me dickhead That was and so Bobby that's when we we So we the lights went on what movie wasn't her red it Terry This scary is fucking movie Hereditary who was this guy? It was a couple. It was a catagonia wearing fucking Bellevue Washington.
Starting point is 00:51:45 Yeah, Bellevue, yeah. Bellevue Washington. I'll alpha dog the shit. I tried to fight two guys at once on a bike path, and you know, I just came back from the woods. I was like, I'm so zen, it's amazing. Yeah. They're in the bike path, and I fucking,
Starting point is 00:51:58 they, I was like, hey, you're in a bike lane. And like, shut the fuck up, dude. I fucking, no, wait, wait, wait, why did you say that in the fucking first place? Mind your own business. Me? Yeah, you. Because they're in the middle of a designated bicycle lane. They get run over.
Starting point is 00:52:14 In the middle of the night. Whatever the consequences they feel, they fucked up. But shut your fucking mouth, then. No, no. I hate it, I hate what's in the high pot. See? No, I hate it, I hate it. No. No. I hate it. I hate what I was supposed to see. Ooh. No, I hate it.
Starting point is 00:52:28 You always fucking pipe up. How the fuck else are they not going to know? You're a high-piper piping, dude. I got a pipe in my pocket. Yeah. I'm with you on this one. Yeah. You were in the bike lane.
Starting point is 00:52:40 And I guess what? No, no, no, no. It's Karen's behavior. Like, what do you? Yeah. Why? You fucking hack. Karen. Like Laney and guess what? No, no, it's Karen behavior. Like, what do you, yeah, why, why, you fucking hack Karen? What else do you say, E? It's whiny behavior.
Starting point is 00:52:52 No, whiny behavior. It's whiny. Baby behavior. It's whiny aristocratic, high class, socialite behavior. Buffy behavior. Yeah. That's the one, that's the one. It's Buffy behavior, dude. behavior. Yeah. That's the one.
Starting point is 00:53:05 That's the one. It's Buffy behavior, dude. Yeah. And guess what? Yeah. What's a key word, a Buffy? Buff. Because I said guess what, motherfucker.
Starting point is 00:53:14 I was so nice. I lead with kindness and if you're rude back, that's what fucking snaps me. And I ding my bell, go, hey guys, you're in a bike lane just so they know because it's really dangerous. You said it, though. I swear to God, I, hey guys, you're in a bike lane just so they know because it's really dangerous. You said it out, you said it though. I swear to God, I used to be full at times. You're in a bike lane. And by the way, nice dicks.
Starting point is 00:53:31 And I popped my ass up. I was like, hey guys, you're in a bike lane and they go, fuck you, who cares? And dude, I like snapped, I turn my bike around, I go, what the fuck did you say? And goes, who cares, we're in the bike lane. And I kind of panic sometimes, I like, snap, I turn my bike around, I go, what the fuck did you say? It goes, who cares, we're in the bike lane. And I kind of panic sometimes, I say things that are like, what?
Starting point is 00:53:51 Like I go, they go, who cares, we're in the bike lane, I go, why care, and so do other bikers. Yeah. What? What? So then, they were like, fuck you, and dude, I took my bike. And by the way, I've got my stereo playing.
Starting point is 00:54:06 I've got a fucking huge JBL, like ghetto blasts are playing. What are you playing? What's the third I blind, semi-trial? I'm like, really? So while this is happening, it's like, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, dude, you know. And dude, I step up my bike, I throw it on the ground, I go, what the fuck are you gonna do about it right now?
Starting point is 00:54:23 I go fucking apologize. And he goes, all right, man, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And? I go fucking apologize. And he goes, all right man, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. And I go, now you. And he goes, all right man, I'm sorry. And I go, yeah, well good, just be safe because people can get hurt. And then we shook hands, and when I bike away, they go, thank you, you were right.
Starting point is 00:54:37 And I was like, yes! Oh, it works. Wow, it works. That's a good sense. But they were white, so I was like, yeah, fuck you. Oh, you're a world, yeah, fuck you. If there was a brother, that'd have been like, you're a world, I'm just living in it.
Starting point is 00:54:47 I'm like, look, that's an interesting question. What? If there are two Asian guys who would say it? I honestly, I was making a funny, ha ha. I would have said, hey, bike lane to anyone. And if they, I popped off to a, what, an African American? Oh, I'm sorry, I just saved that one.
Starting point is 00:55:11 On a plane, wait. That's not how you said that. Was way worse than any other way you could say. That's worse than the Edward, but you just said it in the end. It's stronger than the Edward right now. Wow, dude. Wow, uncomfortable.
Starting point is 00:55:24 That was uncomfortable. We might even have to now. Wow, dude. Wow, uncomfortable. That was uncomfortable. We might even have to bleep that, dude. That would have bleached everything. African-American, that would have been wild. Ansel material, dude. African. Ow. Ow.
Starting point is 00:55:37 Whoa, dude. It was a chill in my side. No, no, no, no. And my body kind of shivered a bit. Holy fuck, no, dude. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, yeah, he didn't give his seat up to a pregnant woman. He was sitting in my seat. And I was like, oh, hey, I think that's my seat. And he gets up and then a guy goes, hey, do you mind, actually you have an aisle seat? Do you mind, I have an aisle seat?
Starting point is 00:56:14 Do you mind switching seats? My wife is a middle seat and she's pregnant and goes, yeah, actually I do mind. And I go, oh, hey, you can have my seat and we were switching and I go, they go, thank you so much. I go, oh no problem. you can have my seat and we were switching and go and go, thank you so much. I go, oh no problem And you you're an asshole
Starting point is 00:56:27 You said that you said that the African American yes You said different type of a But it was It was coming back from Skank best so all of our friends are peppered. Oh They're all like tattoo weird and they're like We're on a good job. I'm like what the fuck is going on? I'm like don't worry. I'm right Yeah, you know we settled it to you several to we bickered back and forth and then I The fuck is going on? I'm like, don't worry, I'm right. Yeah. Yeah. You know, we settled it too.
Starting point is 00:57:07 We settled it too. We bickered back and forth. Uh-huh. And then I said, look at us, we'd make a good buddy cop film, huh? And then you find with it? Yeah. And then we fist bumped, and he kept his mask on the whole time, because he fucking drank the cool aid with the Fauci algae.
Starting point is 00:57:23 Oh, sorry. I have a question for you. Yeah. I have a question for you. Yeah, I got it. Because Bobby's terrified of middle seats. Like you will have a full blown panic attack. Really?
Starting point is 00:57:40 I think it's a flight to New York five to six hours. In my life now. Yeah, in your life now. You are in coach for some reason. You need to get somewhere and they didn't have any other first class seats. Yeah, I'm not going on the flight. No way.
Starting point is 00:57:55 No, that's not the question. You're already committed to being on the flight. You're not boarded. You're boarded. You're boarded. You're locked in. Oh, so I don't know how to read a ticket. What the fuck is the scenario?
Starting point is 00:58:02 You're boarded. But look. I don't know. You get there. Listen, okay, you're premium economy. You're premium economy, you have a window seat, right? Constable enough, enough leg room. Date, fine. You get on that.
Starting point is 00:58:13 Okay, but listen, that's not the question. Pregnant woman. Yes. Pregnant woman who has... Is she crowning? She's about eight and a half, maybe nine, 36 weeks, let's say. I don't know how long that is, but yes, but she's very pregnant. But she's just like, look, like I really need to be on your seat because I need to
Starting point is 00:58:32 lean this way and have some support in this way. But then she has a middle seat. And she's next to me? Yes. I would have to switch because if she was in a different aisle to know But imagine if I said no you sat there she sat there the whole time And she's just like you know, I mean I couldn't do that no, but she's a different row. I would say no Well, why would she has you specifically exactly? I go different. Well, it's just the only aisle seat here, baby
Starting point is 00:59:02 She just ah she looks for you. Yeah, yeah. Walks up to that African American over there. Yeah. So you would give it up and have a panic attack. If that's if it's you, that's the ship. I would not have to do to do. Yes. Yeah. But it would be a bomber. It would be a bomber. What would you do? Would you like, you know, give her? No, you know, you're so funny. I said, and this is silly. Well, you do? Would you like you know give her? No, you know you're so funny
Starting point is 00:59:25 The outside and this is silly. Well, you're playing silly games with me. I've done that before I've switched seats before with oh, I know I know that you're really like sweet guy in that way But I know you had a panic attack being you feel claustrophil I made it it would be of the fight, but if I do I have my medication. Yeah, okay, that's fine Okay, you're good, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's really sweet You know you guys are friends again Okay, thought you were mr. Free sexual guy So yeah, anyway, but um
Starting point is 00:59:58 Yeah, I was what would you do? Yeah, of course he did yeah, he did. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you did But it's like so, so what? Yeah, so what man? So what? Yeah. But you know what I've learned now? What? It's just to step back without reacting.
Starting point is 01:00:14 Yeah. And you take five minutes and just to breathe and chill. And then react. And it's tough because sometimes you don't have the five minutes. So to become, you work towards that so that the five minutes span gets less and less and less. So in the moment, it's almost like the matrix. It comes in and you go, I'm not going to react this way. And then you react in like the, the beneficial way for the betterment of the entire situation,
Starting point is 01:00:39 rather than like, I can admit, I'm selfish with my anger. Like it feels good to pop off. And that's not the right thing to do always. So I, I can admit when I'm selfish with my anger. Like it feels good to pop off, and that's not the right thing to do always. So I can admit when I'm in the wrong. And so the goal is, for me, like you just said, take five minutes. You know, if you're in an argument, it's good to like go for a walk or something,
Starting point is 01:00:56 but just in any instance, it's always best to just pause, take a step back, and be like, does it need to be said? Does it need to be said by me? You know? Yeah. That's really good that you feel a release though with that anger.
Starting point is 01:01:11 Like I think that every, there hasn't been a single time in my life where I have expressed like rage and felt, even if I was right, felt good about it after. Like my nervous system is just so like fried at that point that even though I can intellectually say oh I was right in that situation they needed to hear that my body is shot. I feel like I feel sick, I feel nauseous, sweat, and I'm reeling in it for the next three days like I just don't feel good.
Starting point is 01:01:37 Yeah, and then do you apologize like profusely? I apologize even though it's not necessary. So like this is how I am even with my mom where I she does something apologize even though it's not necessary. So like, this is how I am, even with my mom, where she does something and I know it's wrong and I rage out. Yeah. And she needed to hear it, but then I apologize. I'm like, fuck, I feel sick about it. I feel sick that it even had to get there.
Starting point is 01:01:58 Yeah, when I see you with your mom, I see a lot of the same kind of feelings I have toward my parents. It's hard to watch. It's hard, right? It's hard to watch, yeah, because I relate to you, but then I feel bad for your mom, too. Of course, I feel bad for her as, you know,
Starting point is 01:02:16 but that's what I'm saying, I always feel like a lose-lose. The rage always feels like a lose. Was your penis dittled with as a baby? You weren't dead old? Tell us about it, do it. Tell us really quickly, quickly, come for a smile. Oh, I always remember, I guess you guys have never been in a baseball team with your friends.
Starting point is 01:02:31 No, I mean, I totally agree and empathize in them there with you. I've had to learn how to like take the step back before I interact with my mom and like, woo-sa- myself with my mom and like, who saw myself and just like learn like, that's a fucking lesson in acceptance. You know, everybody's like, we need to accept and live and that the part is like, oh, you want real fucking acceptance,
Starting point is 01:02:54 you want real hard work, fucking acceptance, spend a weekend with my stubborn Italian elderly mother, Gale. Like, see how she just interacts in the world and you'll be like, I got no exception. Okay. What's an example that drives you crazy? Like, she will not see a doctor to save her life. And I just want to like help her
Starting point is 01:03:16 and she just gets agitated. And she got like a cut and it got infected because she used Lysol wipes because that kills bacteria, Ian. Mom, it's not the right kind of bacteria killer. And then it gets purple. And oh, mom, you gotta go to the doctor, your leg is purple.
Starting point is 01:03:31 She goes, Ian, stop. Purple is my favorite color. Well, fucking, mine, it's gonna be black. I hope your favorite color's black with all of it. But it's like, I just got a lover, I just got a hugger and go, that's just my mom. All I can do is love this lady. I put her through fucking hell.
Starting point is 01:03:50 I can put up with a little bit of fucking loopiness. Yeah, we don't think about that either. I mean, I don't know about you, but you and I probably were a terror monster. I was a terror monster. I think as I wasn't. You weren't, you didn't deserve me. I walked a very straight line for her.
Starting point is 01:04:07 Yeah. I was like great student, star athlete, all of the things. And I still got my fucking teeth punched and regained. Oh, so like that is a whole other kind of thing you. So now, but it's not worth it. Like I don't want to be my mom's abuser. Like no, so I have to just, you know, accept everything and just love her for who she is today and that's it.
Starting point is 01:04:31 And learn, you almost have to learn how to repair yourself. And then almost like learn that it's now your turn to parent them, like I've had to coach, and God bless my mom, I love her, she's the fucking best. I wouldn't be who I am or where I am without her. She never gave up on me and she's truly like the fucking gale rules, but I've had to like literally be like, mom, I just need you to tell me I love you and it's going to be okay.
Starting point is 01:04:58 And she'll be like, oh, I'm like, mom, please, just repeat after me. And she does. She looks so nice. Delaware. Oh, so you go down, is it far, dover, dover? Not, warmly, too. Oh, is it? Is it got two, two and a half hours from New York?
Starting point is 01:05:10 Oh, that's cool. So I get down there when I come. Whenever I play Philly, whatever, I, I don't get a hotel I stay with her and I drive to the gig and then I go, oh, so yeah. Oh, cool. And like, she doesn't really leave,
Starting point is 01:05:19 so I try to bring her wherever I go. So like, I was sending her videos of me driving up here, you know, and like, stuff like that. So can I was sending her videos of me driving up here, you know, and like stuff like that. So can I tell you something sweet last night? Well last night. So there's a Instagram account. They're pretty popular. Mom's from Delaware. No, no, no is not like words of affirmation. None of it. She created her own love language and that's cleaning. And it drives me mad because all I want to do is hang out with her, watch a movie and just you know what I mean? Like do normal things, but she comes to the house and she's just cleans everything. And
Starting point is 01:06:04 that's her way of saying, I love you. I'm taking care of you. Yeah, recognizing that and being okay with that. I mean, like, all right, so I don't what I want, but it's her and I just got to accept that. That's tough. But that's, I mean, recognizing that is good instead of like, it's just an obsessive thing that's you interpreting is like, no, that's how she shows love. Like, that's beautiful. That's amazing. I think we would all be better served to figure out other people's ways of showing love and accepting that rather than our idea of what it should be. Like kissing, yeah.
Starting point is 01:06:34 But we also need to... Sorry. What? Are you here? Sorry. I was very, very good, Bobby. Thank you. Goat again.
Starting point is 01:06:44 Wow. Oh, that's so fast. Yeah, that's your dick hold, is it? Oh, in the hole. Thank you. Good again. Wow. Oh, that's so fast. Yeah, that's your dick hold it. Oh, in the hole. Oh, in? Oh, yeah. Anyway, last night. Every last night, you know, you said to him,
Starting point is 01:06:55 I took him off of your parents and, you know, raised himself after abusive childhood. La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la So that yeah, she's 97 years old. Oh my god, and I hugged her and they came in you broke her arm Anyway, yeah, so Oh, that's I could see her from the stage. I was watching her from be in because you're on stage You know you you're you're aware of the room. Oh yeah. You know everywhere everyone's here. Is this at the Hollywood Improv? No, the comic store, yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:48 Oh okay, yeah. The OR and I was like, I could see her to my right in the back. I surfaced, glowing face, she's laughing. And it's also late, it's like, I mean, 10, 10, 15, you know what I mean? And probably as dementia, they probably told her it was warning. Sorry. Sorry. And then afterwards, you know told her it was warning. Sorry. Yeah, and then afterwards, you know, I took that photo with her.
Starting point is 01:08:09 That's so cute. And she, but when I was on stage, I was watching her. I was just like, it just gave me this real gratitude for life. Yeah. And it was inspiring because I just feel like, you know, because I'm getting I'm 52 Yeah, and you kind of think oh it's toward the end. Yeah, but it's not But my mind but what
Starting point is 01:08:38 What do you know? I was doing you snoring bastard. I know you were. Yeah, I know it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You, yeah, yeah. What do you mean? No, I agree. I was agreeing. Yeah, I think I have a lot of other things.
Starting point is 01:08:53 And then I look at other older comics like, you know, like Spades, not that much older than me. But you know, he's six years older than me, you know what I mean? You can watch his, you know, he's vibrant and energetic. And so where are you? I'm 38. Wow, great. Thank you.
Starting point is 01:09:13 What a great standup you are, Dad. Oh man. You're a great performer. Thank you, Bob. No, you really, I look at you and I go, you're like, high energy David Tell almost. Oh my God. Where they think that the punters are faster.
Starting point is 01:09:25 Yeah. And the way you vocalize and stuff, I watch and I go, oh my God, like if I lived in New York, I think I would be friends with you. Yeah. Why? So we're friends now.
Starting point is 01:09:39 Friends, yeah. Okay. It's okay. No, that's okay. But in New York, man, we'd be good. Yeah. Here, you know what's okay. No, that's okay. But in New York, man, we'd be good. Yeah. Like here, you know, one different, okay. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:09:48 He's not into LDR long distance relationships. It's on the long distance relationships. Oh, why the savior complex? So I don't fix that. But I'm faced timing, Bobby. I know I'll see you again. That's a thing. No, that was so kind.
Starting point is 01:10:04 I appreciate that, man. Yeah, that really means a lot. No, that was so kind. I appreciate that man, yeah. That really means a lot. Someone gave me a tremendous compliment. They said that I was East Coast Bobby Lee. And to that I said, good God, I hope not. That's what I'm talking about. Fuck you.
Starting point is 01:10:18 That's what you're saying. That's what I'm talking about. You're a stickerator. Did you make that up? Did you make that up? Did you make that up? No, no, legit. I've been sitting there. And that was like really, really kind.
Starting point is 01:10:28 I look up to you, you're great calming, man. The longevity of your career, you're like, oh, I'm getting old, like you're, you're, you're, you're, I told you this. I saw a video of him going out on stage and you just fucking turned it on and fucking got everyone. And that inspired me to off the jumpy myself.
Starting point is 01:10:45 Don't wait till I get the microphone to be like, here's who I am, like you're just you perfectly and it's it's it's a child you so you'll see. I said child. No, but it's cool man. What do you want to promote? Uh, Pittsburgh and Prov coming up. I'm going all over. Dude, it. I'm out on the road from the beginning January till March and I could be happier. I love comedy.
Starting point is 01:11:12 I'm sorry. Yeah, this. The bike gang isn't the Mongols. It's the Mongols. And in your face, you piece of shit. Telling a joke. It your factual braw. Oh, did you really Cut that out Cut that out. Yeah. Yeah. Okay.
Starting point is 01:11:43 Come back to New York and be your friend. You're great. What do you mean? I know you know, I'm going to set up a whole, um, because I ran into Robert last night. Robert? Yeah. You know, Kennedy Jr.
Starting point is 01:11:56 No. Can I just say she's so Hollywood now. You know, we're talking about the other day. So what are you? So what I'm saying, you know, I mean, I she's so Hollywood now. You know the word we're talking about the other day. And what are you, it's Hollywood. So what I'm saying, you know, I ran into the Hollywood guy, right?
Starting point is 01:12:10 And I saw, in January. What did they hurt like that? In January. I got a whole whole whole whole whole whole whole. When you did the tongue thing, she slipped off her seat. And now I'm gonna do a whole new media tour thing in New York. And I'm gonna probably do you guys,
Starting point is 01:12:23 or whatever. Yeah. Come hang. Always come do the pod, we'll hang, we'll get the pod while hang will get food and also soon to do it. I just did it. No, it's never too Anyway give Ian finance a round of applause أمك بلولي أولو بايا مادم دولا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايايا بايايا بايا بايا بايايا بايايا بايا بايايا بايا بايا بايا بايا بايايا بايا بايا بايايا بايا بايا بايا بايايا بايا بايا بايايا بايايا بايا بايايا بايا بايا بايا بايايا بايا بايا بايايا بايا بايايا بايا بايا بايايا بايايا بايايا بايا بايايا بايايا بيايايا بايايا بايا بايا بايا بايايا بايا بايا بايايا بايايا بيايا بايا بايايا بايايا بيايايا بايايا بايا بايايا بايايا بايايا بايا you

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