TigerBelly - Jameela Jamil & The All Purple Event

Episode Date: November 12, 2025

We welcome actress Jameela Jamil (The Good Place) to TigerBelly, and James Blake snickers in the back. We chat the day Prince called Jameela, British heart, Ted Danson sleepover, omelette roulette, photographic memory, no reverse cowgirl, Harold & Kumar 4.  Go to www.kachava.com and use code BELLY for 15% off your next order. Guys, this isn’t just about performance, this is about legacy or third LEG-acy. Give her group chat something to talk about. You know when you lay it down, they’re talking about how it gets up. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little BlueChew. Discover your options at www.bluechew.com  Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at www.shopify.com/tigerbelly

Hey everybody, Bobby Lee here. And I'm very excited because I'm shooting my first special for Hulu. And it's going to be in San Diego, California, January 16th, 2026, January 17th, 20206. And it's at the San Diego Balboa Theater. And the tickets are on sale now and come check it out. I'd love to see you there. And I'm super excited. And we're all going to be there.

Support Papa. Papa. Teet to Bobby. Yaho. You've never done that before. Do you know who that is? We're all trying to play it cool. Everyone play it cool, please.

I just wonder how I don't play it stupid. I wish he could hear this music you're playing. Jamila, Jamil, she's from a faraway place called England. That's where Harry Potter lives. That's where... The queen is The queen is Was, was

Was, that's where the queen was That's where the queen was It's where Wayne Rooney is Right? Yeah And Gary Neville Wow Wow

And sir, sir Alex Ferguson How is it Paul Scoles Right Paul Skolls Yes Ryan Giggs And David Beckett

But David Becker. Fuck David Becker. Whoa. No, he's very good. Shots fired. Very good. But you know what? Arsenal is still the best team in England.

Arsenal, number one. What about Simon? Simon who? Simon Cowell. Simon Cowell, right, right? Simon Cowell, right? Can you be a bit louder just because I want to hear Bobby's beautiful piano playing. How is it playing the piano in front of James?

Well, not. Um, you know, it's, you know, um, intimidating, but you know, I'm not afraid. Right. I don't live in the fear, you know what I mean? But Bobby just met my boyfriend. Yeah. Well, give Jimmy a run of a horse. I have a good friend.

Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I said my friend. I'm dating. Yeah, yeah. Um, so he found out that my boyfriend is James Blake who's sitting in the corner and he had a, uh, a fucking nervous breakdown, didn't you?

A little nervy B. Well, well, it's just like, you know, um, I did have a liver. It was, you know, I'm never. You say liver break down? My liver broke down. My liver broke down. I've never seen you shy or thrown ever before that moment. Yeah, because I'll tell you why, it's like running into, like, you know, a mythological character, you know what I mean, from your dreams, you know.

Because, you know, you, you know, you listen to the music, you go, I'm never going to meet that person. You know what I mean? Like, I'm never going to meet Genghis Khan. Yeah, yeah. It's like running into Genghis Khan. Or, you know, or, you know, anyone from history or. you know, you never think. But it's like, I wish I would have known.

Sorry. Yeah, yeah. I wish I was like, oh, he's just an English bloke. You know what I mean? What is a bloke? A bloke is a man. What's an English bloke? It's a man about town.

Oh, it is. What's a hooligan? A hooligan is a troublemaking man about the dark side of town. Yeah, yeah. Well, you're not a hooligan, are you? No, no, no, no. No. I can't do your accent, sorry.

Go ahead, please try. Have you ever done an Asian? No, I just don't. The only thing I remember is Theo Von going, Bobby. Exactly, yeah, yeah. I mean, do you, you're Pakistani. Yeah, what a beautiful place.

Pakistani and Indian, both. Oh, you're a combo? Yes. I'm Japanese and Korean. Oh, congratulations. I'm not. You are. You are technically.

You did your 23 and me. All Koreans have a little Japanese, and a little Japanese have a little Korean. Well, the same thing with Pakistan and India. I mean, it's not a real divide. It's not a real divide. The same people kind of. Yeah. I think the Japanese and Korean are the same people. Yeah, but

I learned something really interesting about Hangul, your written language yesterday. Hungul. Do you just Google his culture? So nice. Because my goddaughter, she was like, oh, do you speak Korean? I'm like, no,

I don't. She assumed it because we, you know, we dated for so long. And apparently it's a really effective and easy to learn language because of the written language. It was engineered by geniuses. Yes, to be learned quickly and effectively

as opposed to like Chinese where you have like a million characters, right? Too many characters. Yeah. There's billions of them. Chinese. Chinese. Yeah, yeah. Yes, yes. And I love the people Chinese. But every time someone cuts in line, it's a Chinese person.

And I don't know what that's about. You know what I mean? Speed. They're fast. They're fast, but do they not know the rules? Maybe it's a stereotype. I'm sorry. I mean, but I'm at a jamba juice.

I mean, and then they always go, oh, what going on around here? Right. Anyway, we. Yeah, any of that? But other than that, I mean, I love that. You know what? I mean, the food, what?

Do you think it's an act? They know what they're doing? I think they know what they're doing. You know what I mean? It's, you know. But anyway, let's move on from it because it seems uncomfortable for me. For you?

You've been talking about it. I have a little sip of mine. Yeah, have a beverage. I have a question for you. Well, we're not there yet. Oh. Can I just, can I, you know what I mean? Okay.

Well, because this is my head already. I understand that, but can you write it down on your notebook? I did. Yeah, yeah, okay. I started at the airport, that's why. Yeah. I mean, you know, you landed and then you started writing notes?

Yeah. I was like, why? Why what? Well, it's a question, but. That's your question. No, no, no, why, but I'm going to tell you the question later. Why am I here? No, no, no, no.

Yeah, yeah. Go ahead. Do you want me go? Well, could I just say something, right? I mean, you know, if this is the Enterprise, Star Trek, I'll be. Well, I mean, I just feel like, am I not James Kirk? He's Kirk, yeah. Am I not, or no?

Are you? No, I'm not. Yeah, what are you? The guy with the shit on the head. Oh, no. Oh, you're a Klingon? Yeah. I don't think so.

No. You're an engineering, dude. James Wong. No, no, James Wong. What's his guy's? George Takai? Yeah. Yeah.

What's his name? No, Sulu. Let's move on from it. I think we're confusing our cast. You're adorable. He is adorable. He's never read a book. Yes, I have.

What book? The Bible. The Bible. Have you read the Bible? Yeah. Yeah. What's it like? I never read it.

Fascinating and really, really hyper-realistic. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. What starts off with the Genesis? 100%. Yeah, yeah. Can you explain? Adam and Eve in particular, great.

Oh, that's the opening. Definitely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you explain it to me? Because I don't, I've never even, I don't know anything about it. No, I can't. All right? Yeah.

Well, let me see if I can explain. Okay. In the beginning, God made, in seven days, Earth, the atmosphere, the universe. Did he do the universe first, right? Yes. Because there's like billions of planets, right? Yes. So he made every billion planet.

Yes. And then he made Earth. Then he made atmosphere, sand, with trees and all that stuff. And then the Kardashians. The Kardashians. That came later. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That came after the snake.

That was day eight. Eight. The Kardashian line was day eight. Yes. Wow, I did not know that. So write that down. The Kardashian, you're right? Generous.

Yeah, yeah. So then he made Adam and Eve. What color were they? They were definitely white. Everyone was white. Oh, I see. Everybody. But then he created the sun and made us dark.

No. Not in the book. He creates the sun and it just bounces off everyone in the Bible. Oh, really? And they're all super white. Yeah. Yeah. But then through Adam and Eve, civilization started.

Yes. We're all, so we're all. Because Adam needed someone to give him a blowjob, so he took out his rib. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Which I think is what Prince was originally trying to do. Really? Yeah. I did not know that.

And then he grew a woman out of a rib. Yeah. And then he got sucked off and then banished, I think. Whoa. Yeah, because she forced him to eat the apple because he had got no agency of his own. Right. Oh, wow. Adam's a little bitch.

I did not know about that. I knew about Job and all that stuff. I didn't know about that. Yeah. And then what happened was their offspring eventually went to other lands. Mm-hmm. So like... Where they remained white.

Really? Yeah. Wow. But then how did we... White African. White Middle Eastons. It's amazing. Oh.

So how did you become Pakistani then? This is all makeup. She's a white woman. Oh, you're white woman. I've been playing the deep. I'm white too. I have jaundice. Yeah.

Yeah, that's why they're yellow. Yeah, I'm a sick white guy. People don't know that. But like, so eventually, you know, they drifted apart and they go, okay, bye, you're going to be one day Chinese. And then one day, you're going to be black. One day Chinese. One day Chinese.

They created a character and they asked it then. Yeah. Yeah. And then, wow. And so that's how it. That's how we all got here today. I did not know that. And where when did Noah's arc.

Come into play. Tell me about no other. I don't fucking know, God. Give a shit. Oh, okay. What religion are you then? I'm sadly atheists. Me too, kind of.

Yeah. We're all kind of. Yeah. How about you, I'm agnostic? That's fair. Maybe I'm a bit more agnostic. Not because you're adorable, but also just because. There could be something, maybe.

Yes. Right? Yeah. Something has to be responsible for my breasts. Yeah. No. No. I'm joking.

Okay. You didn't have to look. She was just saying... No, no, I said it. No, no, I, I... Yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, I... I mean, I don't, you know... I didn't look at her, brother.

I looked at her jacket. Oh, look at your balls real quick. No, no, no, no, no, no. I don't think you want to see... Yeah, they're extra wrinkly. And it means they're wise. They're very wise. Because all girls say...

Have you seen my nuts, Zach? I would hope so. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All girls have said, it's extra wrinkly. And I make them laugh by saying because they're wise. But then I... But then I think to myself, why are they wrinkly?

No, but you know what? Actually, I can sort of relate, not to my balls, but you know how you've got like... James, is your balls extra wrinkly? They're lovely. They're lovely. I bet they are smooth, probably. But you have no lines. You have no lines anywhere on your face.

And so all of the lines on your face went to your testimony. They're his painting in the basement. Bory and Gray. Mine is I have a very old art. So the rest of me, I'm 40 in like a few months. I've never had Botox filler. I look young. You look great.

I have a devastatingly old man's ass. And that's why James's songs are really so sad. Yeah, but let me ask you about your ass. Okay. Right? You look at it and what makes it old? The shape, the texture, the wisdom. The text, is it flat or?

Yeah. I'm Asian. Yeah, I know. It's just, it is what it is. I prefer flat asses, to be honest with you. He's always said that, actually. Yeah, yeah. I like bony flat asses.

Lovely. Mine is sort of, it's sort of flat, but also kind of, it's, it's present at the sides of my hips, as if it's sort of nosy. Like, it doesn't want to stay at the back and not be involved. It kind of comes around the side to see what's going on. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. like James Bond.

Yeah. Yeah. It's like it's... Yeah, yeah. It's like an Ethan Hunty kind of at an ass. My publicist is just pulled out behind the camera. He's like, not the asshole bit. Not the asshole bit.

We talked about this. I haven't yet brought up my leathery bagel, just the outside. What's the bagel part? The butthole? Oh, yeah. Yours became super leathery since Ozumpic. How do you know? Oh, we all unfortunately know.

We had to do a test. We took a photo. We took a photo. Alex took a photo. Bobby insisted we take a photo so we could do it before and after. Well, because it shrivels the labia as well, doesn't it? So does it also go after the hole? Yeah, yeah.

The calamari. I call it the calamari. Has it changed? Color, yes. The, oh, what color? Extra purple. It's like Barney's butthole. Amazing.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know Barney? Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A dark purple. Yeah. It's a sad. purple. You know what I mean? It's sort of like Prince's butthole. You know what? Oh, he does love

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Purple rain. You know, one time he, uh, Prince called up my manager and said he wanted to meet me. No. 20s. Yeah. Wow. He said he'd been watching YouTube videos of me all day. Red flag. Okay. And he wanted to meet me. And so, uh, my manager called me and She was like, are you a fan of Prince? And I was like, not really. And she said, well, I am. And I really want tickets to his. So you never met him.

Can you please meet him? He wants to call you. Wow. And I was like, okay, when's you going to call me? And she was like, apparently tomorrow at 11 p.m. So I get an email that night just being like, no, a text message that night being like, Prince is going to call you tomorrow at 11 p.m. And then the following morning at 9 a.m.

I get an email saying, Prince is going to call you tonight, 11 p.m. And I was like, yep, no, I got it yesterday. 12 p.m. That Prince is going to call you. Wow. Carton. 1 p.m. 4 p.m. 7 p.m. And then 10.45 that Prince is going to call you in 15 minutes.

He's going to email you first. And at 10.59, I get an email that just says, it's me. Dot, dot, dot. From Prince. And then he phones me. And we have this deranged phone conversation. Where he tells me he's been watching me again all day.

And then pivots the conversation. He's really strange. speaks in a very high voice. He will not let me swear. Every time I swear, he tells me that it makes the paint peel off the walls. And then he asks me to, bear with me, because I didn't expect to tell the story. So then he asks me to, he starts saying to me that, you know,

like, I really want to play Alexandra Palace, which is a very iconic venue for like 10 to 15,000 people in England. And I was like, I think you would be great for Alexander Palace. How old are you? How old are you? I'm 26. at the time and he's like

and I want everyone to be wearing purple and I was like sounds cool and he's like and I want everyone backstage to be women and I was like

empowering and then he says I want them all to be dancers and I want them all to be wearing roller skates and I was like this sounds like a great day man I hope that that happens

he was like great so if you could arrange that for me I'd really appreciate it you can't tell the venue it's me goodbye I'll call you tomorrow and see your progress and hangs up no and so over the course of a 15 to 20 minute phone call I become an event plan

I've never even had a birthday party like I can't organize a piss up in a brewery did you panic yeah of course I fucking panic yeah yeah yeah and then he started calling me every day for progress like I can't tell call up alex he's con really this is real 100% wow so I so then he proceeds to kind of harass me for the next month almost

trying to get me to organize this huge gig and I don't know how to do it and also you can't book Alexander Palace with like two weeks notice and not tell them who it's for oh wow and so at that time point he was a symbol right

yeah of course exactly how do I even describe this on the fucking phone and then eventually kind of you know the phone calls turn from event planning into friendship and then friendship into flirting I did not flirt back.

Oh, so you didn't find him attractive? No. No, no, no. He's a little man. I don't mind a little man. Yeah, yeah, okay. But what was it that you didn't find it attractive? His hair?

I think it was his whole... His whole vibe, really. And also very entitled. Calling me up on the first date and asking me to organize a 14,000-person All-Purple event. And he's much older. He's a time fighter, you know, so I wasn't interested. I wasn't interested in him.

And I had a boyfriend at the time. Sure. So, yeah. So it just fizzle away. It's, well, yeah, well, no, it ended angrily from him. Jesus. Jesus Christ. Did he do that or did you?

Yeah. Yeah, he, but he, what's he pointing to him? Well, he eventually got angry with me because I didn't want to spend Valentine's Day with him because I was with my boyfriend and he said, well, why did you put an X at the end of all your text messages? And I was like, well, that's just what English people do to show that we're not angry with each other. So then we had a falling out

and then we did. So you never physically met them? No, no, no, no, no. I did, but I just didn't want to spend Valentine's. Oh, I said. Out of touch. Completely out of touch. Well, now he's dead, so we're very out.

I killed him. Wow. Do you, last night, I was like, I came home from the road, and I was like, you know what, I want to, I need, I'm hungry. Uh-huh. Okay. And, you know, my body, you know, knows when it's getting good nutrients, right? And so, I went and got the strawberry kachava. Woo!

All you do is two scoops, glass of water, stir it, you drink it. And I'll tell you why I like this more than any other thing. it tastes so good they're all of them they're all of them do all the flavor support all the energy with five key vitamins and minerals digestion you like digestion

keep things regular with fiber probiotics and enzymes who loves enzymes I do me nurtures you do me do too nurture a healthy metabolism with B vitamins minerals and fiber who likes metabolizing

me I know you do it dude right nurture immune system with vitamin C, zinc, and probiotics, right? Who like zinc? Zinc. I love zinc, too. I love zinc, too. Every day.

25 grams of 100% plant-based protein. Six indulgent flavors. Tell me about the flavor. Chocolate, vanilla, chai, macha, macha, coconut assay, and strawberry. What's your favorite? What's your favorite? The coconut assay for me, because, you know, I'm an island gal.

But if you were to go up to Bobby's pantry right now and open it up, half of that thing is just kachava. Oh, wow. Dude, I'm not lying, dude. And my mom, you know, my mom's like a super health freak. She steals that from me. Is that where she got introduced to it? I think she's always like,

Kachava, darling, Kachava. And I was like, how do you know about Kachava? Now I know it's from your pantry. With every two scoops of Kachava, you get 85 plus superfoods, nutrients, and plant-based ingredients. And no artificial flavors, colors, or sweeteners,

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You guys, I'm 54. Yeah, and sometimes, you know what I mean? My little toky the dum-tum isn't awake. Uh-oh. And it's action. It's action time. No, tired. He's tired, old, right?

Action time. But guess what? What? He is a blue friend. Oh, wow. It's called Blue Choo. Let's go. I take it.

And then Toki is ready to fun. Ready to fun. Yeah. And it works, right? Guys, enter the room, Dick first. Am I not right? You're right. Blue Choo isn't just a tablet.

It's a cheat code for your crotch. Wow. Stronger. Harder. Yeah. Longer lasting. Like, someone gave your downstairs a pep talk and a gym membership. Gilbert's moaning.

I don't like that. I'm just thinking about Bobby. He's a Christian. I just, you know, I think about Bobby getting hard. It gets me inside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When Christians do that, it's mind-boggling. One more time.

No, no, I'm not doing it. One more time, stronger. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Stronger. Harder, longer-lasting. My lord. Okay, good. That's better.

No, but actually, it's, you know, it's, you know, it's chewable. You can chew it. You can swallow it. Jack could climb his own stock on one of these beans. I'll tell you that, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Guys, this isn't just about performance.

This is about legacy or third. legacy. Give her group chat something to talk about. You know when you lay it down, girls like Kalala are talking about how it gets up. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little bluechew. Discover your options at bluechew.com. And we've got a special deal for our listeners.

As always, get your first month of Bluechew free. Just use promo code belly at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping. That's it. Join Bluechew's mission to upgrade humanity one thrust at a time. Head to Blu.com for details and safety info and big thanks to Blu for sponsoring the podcast. Wow. I've never had, I mean, if Angelica Houston called me.

And are you kidding me? She's like my number. She's like top tier to me. I don't know. I don't know. That's her vagina. If Angelica Houston called me, I probably would do it. She's incredible. Are you fucking crazy? You would, you would be so, so lucky to even be considered. What do you mean? Consider what? What are you talking about? To be your concubine? No, I mean, even if she were to look your direction, you should feel so well. Okay, you're Angelica.

No, you play Angelica Houston. Wait, who is then? Okay. Dude, what are you doing? You're trying to keep the momentum going, I guess. Partition. Yeah, yeah. That's Angelica Houston.

Old school. Yeah, oh, that's old school. You ever watch, like, the old school album? Wait, wait. We're not in the scene. We're not in the scene yet. We're not fucking ready, Matt. It's really good, dude.

Jimmy, that's really good. Thank you. All right, so, um... Wait, before you get started. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who did she play? Mertisha Adams. And the old one?

In the old one? Yeah, yeah. The movies, or... Did you ever see... Adam's family, yes. Is this your first day outside? I wish it was. It always seems like it.

No. The Royal Tenenbaum, do you ever see that? She's in a lot of Westman's in films. John Wick? Oh, she's in John Wick. Yeah. You've seen Royal Tenant Bombs? Okay.

Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, no, okay. Okay, okay. Oh, you want to eat that? Oh, my God, you're ruining everything. Let's go back to you. Okay, my bad, my bad. You know what he said to me when I came in here today? What did I say?

What did I say? No, don't bring it up. You gotta do it. Don't bring it up. Just give the energy, you don't have to say it exactly. He goes, last night, I hit that back. Oh, no, you talk like that? No, I don't.

He's one of those guys because he rarely gets late. He rarely gets laid, right? He rarely gets laid, right? He'll be innocent. And people that rarely get laid, when they get laid, they always say shit like that. Just to let us know that something happened, and it's gross, right? And I had to even explain to him because I've never even heard that. I was joking.

And then you showed me a photo. Okay. Did you not show me a photo? No, I did not. I did that back. I hit that back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know.

He's a comedian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a comic, you know. It's so gross. No, it's so gross. No, I didn't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was just joking.

You swore to God you didn't hit that back last night? We're guys. We joke like that. Oh, locker room talk. Yeah, man. I'm not from the ladies. Okay. Did you show you a picture of her ass?

No, no, no. How was it? Then he did a thing, right, did he not at the table? No. Yeah, you did. You act out how you hit it from the back. No, Bobby, Bobby, it was higher. He went higher.

Yeah, he went higher, yeah. No, I didn't. I feel I've never been more convinced of anything more than I am that you did that. Thank you. Yeah. Anyway, so that was an And you know what? High five, man.

It was like that. Sorry, James. For what? Yeah, yeah. This is the locker room time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's locker room talk. I don't like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Anyway, Jesus. Yeah, Jesus Christ. We talked about the Bible. Yeah, man. All right, enough. All right, but congratulations. It was a joke, man. Yeah, I think it happened.

No, I didn't. When you're just saying it privately, let's move on, but let's, when you're singing it, privately to me right when you know when the world it's for the world it really is we've learned the hard way yeah yeah well she's a fan of the podcast

so okay okay that's great listen and she's like hey that lines up he told us that you are amazing in bed yeah yeah wow yeah and very beautiful yeah with perfect ask yeah you're a very positive person

are you positive person that's the first time anyone's ever said that you're not positive James, am I positive? There we go Yeah, yeah So do you wake up Because today I woke up

You know, sometimes I wake up And I'm just like I was excited that you're coming Oh, thank you. But, you know, I had just on the road And I came in last night late Yeah And I

Um It felt like kind of Sometimes I just kind of wake up A little depressed. Do you get wake up depressed? No. Okay. You never get depressed.

I don't get depressed. depressed. I wake up anxious. In fact, I woke up really anxious today and I had to take a little pill because I was so excited to see you. Oh, anxiety. Yeah. Yeah. What do you anxious about? I don't know. I was just nervous. I wanted you to like me. Yeah, yeah. I didn't give a shit about what you two thought. I just know. Yeah, but I've always been aware of you. I've always liked you. Aw, I'm always like you too. Yeah. In fact, when you gave me the guest list of like, who do we get? I go, I want her. Oh, thank you. Yeah. So it's like, yeah. Wow, so you wake up anxious.

I wake up anxious sometimes, yeah. When you were shooting the good place we were anxious? Fucking terrified. Yeah. Terrified every day, every moment. I still get scared thinking back on it. Well, you didn't you test for that show? I did.

You did, right? Did you? Yeah, he did. I don't remember, but I didn't get it, right? Was it Giannu, the monk? Was that racist? Did I racially profile him? I didn't get it.

You were Manny Jacinto, okay? It was you or Mandy. Come on, let's move on. I didn't get it. he didn't get it I tested a lot I don't get it But that was one of his bigger

heartbreaks at that time I was heartbroken Yeah I mean it wasn't You weren't going for Kristen Bell I was probably the Were you going for my role No no no

What about that guy Manny so it was for Maggie Yeah that's what I mean Gian knew Maybe but I didn't get it He's much more handsome Probably more talented

Manny is a cutie He's a cutie He's a cutie yeah yes He's a very handsome man Because I've been on sitcoms before American sitcoms and they're um it's a stressful of it yes table reads were always excited because you would always hear stories about people get fired at the table people get fired so i went to the costume department

before our first table read because i'd only just done all of the auditions and so you know we hadn't started shooting yet there was still a chance that i could be fired if i fuck up the table read so i went to the costume department everyone else shows up in like jeans and t-shirts i showed up in my gown from episode one with a big floral hat and a basket and came in in character I've never acted before, by the way, at this point. The audition was my first ever time acting. Oh, my God. Sorry to rub it in.

Quite a bit. So I was so inexperienced that I was like, I have to throw everything at this, otherwise I'm toast. And I think that's the only reason I kept my job that day. Oh, so you miser tech. You went like meth in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

So when you're sitting there at the table read, especially you're, I mean, you're with a legend, Ted Danton, right? Who I've heard, I've never met, before I heard he's a really nice guy. Amazing man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, an amazing guy, which is lucky to be in that situation.

100%. And he really took me under his wing and, like, taught me how to act and taught me how to stand in front of the camera, taught me what a mark is. Just like everything I know I owe to him. So if you think I'm shit, that is Ted's fault.

Yeah, yeah. Did you ever like... Get anxious meeting him? Yeah, petrified. You just finished it. Did you... Get anxious meeting him? Well, it's because...

Do you want to be the... Captain? No, but... No, no, you want to fly the ship? It's a mutiny. Yeah, yeah. No. That was wild. Really good.

I think everybody wakes up anxious. I had to stress eat, and I stress ate so much on the season one that I gained a dress size and a half and looked sort of quite similar to Pablo Escobar by the end. So it wasn't clear if it was narcos or the good place, and it was great. And they had to leave my costume open at the back, so they couldn't get images of me running from the back, you know, when things start to heat up at the end of season one. Oh. They'd normally have to get me from the front

because everything was open at the back so I'd hulked out of all of my it was fantastic. Well, craft service and stuff. Yeah, exactly. Cross service ruined, you know, my life. It was great, but it was very distracting. I love craft service.

And I developed pre-diabetes. When you go to craft service, what do you eat? Everything. Everything I can find. Yeah, I like... And I took Tupperware with me so I could bring it back home. That's such a smart move.

And then I would fill our larder at home with it. That's very Filipino-coded. Because we don't. go anywhere without type of wearing our purse just in case I take sandwich bags sometimes to parties yeah same same but he's so anti-leftovers he has his his whole philosophy around they shouldn't exist I knew it yeah we're so much that we look alike we act alike I'm confused right now yeah I mean I mean checkmark you know if he sees you taking leftovers like he will peel like

fight it off your hands and like want to throw it in the trash Is it because it gains bacteria overnight or are you just a decadent bitch? Well I have you're a decadent bitch I have specific things like you know for instance if I'm usually if I'm in a group you know I pay

and then when the group goes like let's say Jaime's I'm having dinner with them and I'm paying right and Jaime goes can I have mine wrapped up I always go no no no no Why?

Because it's mine. I pay for it. Don't you get it? I mean, you just gave me a dramatic flashback. Honestly, what is so confusing about that? How do you not know that it's mine? You're a month. I paid for it.

Ask me, I may allow you to grab it, take it home. It's so rude, people. You would hate. me. You'd hate me. Well, ask me, I would let you do it. Oh, thank you. So, we're having dinner. Go ahead. Please, can I have some... Please can I have some take of my second? What is?

Yeah, you can take that sandwich, huh? Thank you very much. And that's fine, but if you just assume, like, hey, just, you know what I'm saying? I am, but you resurfaced a memory that I'd suppressed up until now, which is my 29th birthday. I just moved to Los Angeles. Very briefly, I got to know Judd Appetow and Leslie Mann. I love Judd. They were very, very kind to me. He's been here. Yeah, they were very kind to me. No need to brag, Bobby. We're all friends here. But back to my story. That was me smacking the ass. I smacked the ass just now. Sorry, my bad. So they take me out to dinner because they know I don't

know anyone. I've just gotten there and I'm all by myself. And so Leslie's like, oh, come out to dinner with us. You know, we're going out for dinner with our friend Kate Upton, the like Victoria's Secret model. I did a movie with her. Slot the ass. Well done. So then, I'm at this point very poor. Don't have a job.

Don't have a visa. Don't have any friends. Pre the good place. Yeah. And I'm just figuring it out in America by myself. Don't know anyone. Totally lost. And I...

But people know who you are because of your... Well, how the fuck do you get to eat with Jen App? I met Leslie Mann at a party and she just thought I was a vibe. and then just... How do you go to a party with Leslie Mann in it? We were at the same bar and then we ended up getting chatting at the bar.

I hate people like you. You know, people that just kind of show up and people just kind of grab... I've had to like... Hey, would you like the good place? Yeah. I've had to like kill. I would have to kill...

He'd had to. Why are you doing? Yeah, yeah. I'd have to... And then do great comedy for them to... Anyway, let's move. I'm sorry. Congratulations.

Let's just go ahead, Leslie Mann. Leslie Mann. No, well, just it's not a great story. It's just the fact that at the end of the meal, everyone, no one eats in Hollywood, so they'd all left most of their meals. And it was the best, it was like Boa or something. It was like, some of the best burgers and steak I'd ever had.

So I was like, fuck this. We can't just leave this. So I asked the lady who was coming to pick up all of our plates. I was like, can I get mine to go, and everyone else is? And it's a table of only four people. So everyone heard me say it. And I took everyone's leftovers home with me, but not even home because then Leslie's like,

we're going out dancing now. And now I have a bag this big of everyone else's leftovers that I'm going to eat. Things that they're like mouths have touched, like burger. You know what I mean? It's like I'm kissing them. Yeah, yeah.

And so I'm so scared someone's going to steal my leftover bag that I keep my leftover bag on the dance floor and I'm there like side-shund dancing on my birthday with Kate Upton, like one of the sexiest women in the world. And everyone can just smell like salmon, burger. Like, I'm meeting up the entire dance floor. People are moving further and further away. I've got truffle fries in my bag.

It was a really strange day. And then they didn't want to hang out again. Let me ask you what? That kind of made me mad. I knew it would. Yeah, yeah. So, can we just, can we dive into it a little bit? Sure.

Is it because you didn't have money growing up? What, did you have money at the time? No. No money. No money, no. Okay. I'd burned through. all of my money. I had $17

left in my bank account. And you were staying at a hotel or you were at an apartment here in L.A.? I was staying with a friend. You're staying with a friend. Yeah. Well, not a friend, but like a lovely lady who had let me live on in her. Right. So the food that you have, after the fucking club that you went to, you put the food

in the refrigerator and during the week you ate it. Yes. I'm known for this. You still do it now. Yeah. I would say that's just meal prepping. Thank you. Yeah, for your week. I've always thought you'd me yeah I do I fully understand that I just there is at least in my culture there's there's a shame in not bringing home it I agree I think that being wasteful is like in my culture like the biggest

no-no great to shame yeah okay I think you're right let me change my way I think you're right yes what I remember at Mel's diner you know let me take my omelet home oh no and I've been attention between ever since wait wait first of all I didn't

yeah I was like can I take this to go he's like no let's go remember it was you and me Andrea

take an omelet home you can't take omelets home yes you can no you can microwave no that's actually that is

Russian roulette for your asshole you should never microwave eggs yeah it's Russian roulette for your assol yeah

yeah yeah yeah yeah you never saw deer hunter the omlet the omlet the omel

you know what you know Oh, no. It's explosive diarrhea. Salmonella. No wonder. Yeah. I saved your life, dude.

I saved your fucking right thing. Yeah, yeah, write down. Don't microwave eggs. Do you hear of her? Thank you. Do you get diarrhea easy? Jamila, do you get diarrhea? No, no.

But you've had it before. 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's always not a good day. No, but a fun icebreaker for a chat, no. Yeah? No, I mean, you know, I just get it often. Are you flirting with me?

In front of James, how dare you? For James, you know. Hey, Jamina, do you get diarrhea? Yeah. Yeah, that's not a, let me hear you say it. That's not an appropriate question. I think it's fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I talk about diarrhea all the time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to know your, listen. We've spoken about diarrhea so much on my podcast that we've actually had to send out a brief asking people. Stop talking to us about diarrhea. career on the podcast. How many episodes have you done in your pod? I think we're at like three months or four months now. Wow. So we do it weekly. It's very fun. You do it in England? We do it all over the world. So I recorded lots of it in Los Angeles, then New York, and now I'm recording in London.

Oh, wow. I'd love you guys to come on at some point. Oh, we'd love to do it. But yeah, it's a, just a, it's a foul ratchet time. Yeah, yeah. It's called. It's called wrong turns with Jamila Jamil and it's a comedy disaster podcast that is specifically anti-inspiration. It's anti-inspiration pro-commiseration. I'm sick of having a silver lining shoved up my ass every time something goes wrong. So I just want to be able to sit in the shit and not have like a wonderful, you know, great pearl of wisdom gained from everything. Because who the fuck gains wisdom every time something goes wrong?

I'm sick of it. So I decided to create a podcast where we just marinate and shame and everyone who listens gets to feel smug about themselves that they make better decisions. And you had just had Ian on. By dance. Yes, I did. He's an old friend of him. So funny.

We love Ian. We love him. Ian and Nathan are hilarious together. I'm going to see who else she's had on. That's... Oh, I love Catherine Ryan. Catherine Ryan's great. Simon Pegg was great.

Oh, you get biggies. I've got some lovely... Is that Johnny? That is Johnny. Yeah, I love him. And Felipe, he's hilarious. Yeah, great. Wow, you've had some great guys.

Yeah, we have some great people. coming on as well. Steve Carell, I think, is coming on soon. Oh, wow. It's very fun. Yeah. Wow, look at all these people. You get people I can't get it. That's bollocks. Yeah, no, some of these people, like, I couldn't get Steve Carell. Well, that's because you weren't.

You didn't get the good place up there. Yeah, yeah. I've been on shows before. I mean, I can't get Steve Correll. I haven't the good place. Yeah, yeah. I'm like, we got rain. That's That's pretty cool, but he's done this. Yeah, this is a sitcom I was on. Bobby? Yeah, yeah.

You got me, all right? Oh, let me. You mean, Legerbill, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nobody knows who I am. Yeah, I mean, that's a sitcom that failed. But you look great. On the cover. I would actually love a show like this.

You were fantastic in The Dictator. Oh, thank you. I don't take compliments very good, but thank you. Do you take compliments good? No, I'm English. Oh, is that an English trait? Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you've taken a compliment well,

they won't let you back into the country. There's a special scan for it at the airport. So if you're... Jamila, you were great in the good place. I'm not from Japan. Was that a Japanese accent? Wait, I want to try to do in England. Jamila.

No, no. Jamila. Jamila. Jimila. Don't think too much. He's giving you acting. No. That just made me mad.

I watch a lot of TV He watches a lot of TV Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah, yeah. Jamila, you're great in a good place. Still Japanese? It's more Korean now. Oh, really?

All right. Well, can you, wait, James, say Jamila, you're a good in a good place. I'm going to see if I can. Shopify. We have a business here online business. And, you know, we only want to use the best. And we use Shopify. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e-commerce in the United States. From household names like Mattel and Jim Shark to brands just getting started. And Tiger Belly. Yep. Get started with your own design studio. With hundreds of ready to use templates, Shopify helps you build a beautiful online store to match your brand style.

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Turn your big business idea into with Shopify on your side. Send up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash tigerbelly. Go to shopify.com slash tiger belly. Shopify.com slash tiger belly. Say, Jamila, you were good and no good place. I'm going to see if I got... Jamila.

Jemila? There he is. You were great to do that. You're good... Okay, Jamila, you're great in the good place. Yeah, it's better. Okay, good. It's a bit German now.

All right. And then what was your response? You're like, thank you. No, I said, no, I wasn't. I was terrible and I'm embarrassed to be here and I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm kind of like that too. Yeah, you're British. I'm British, yeah.

Why are we, why can't I, why can't we take a compliment? Because of our fucking Asian parents. Yeah. That's what it is. That's what it is. Yeah. I think that's what it is. Yeah.

Yeah. Were you allowed to celebrate anything, anything when you were a child? Like, for instance, like, a win or, like, you get an award. Like, my parents never allowed us to pat ourselves on the back. It was always... I think it was sort of like you're not going to get shouted at if you get 100% on the test. So that's the party. That's exactly it.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where it's like everything great... Yeah, everything great you're doing is basely. Yeah, yeah. and you get nothing but that's a good thing but I went the opposite

like I you know they had that baseline yeah and you went meth and I went I went meth I went because I did drugs early on so I went you know what I'm going to go the opposite so I every report card day

I knew I was going to get a beating and I doubled down on you know what I mean you just come into the room off bus I would take it you know you got a F you got four F for right

And I go, good, take, I'll take it, you know. Because I refuse to, I refuse to hit that bar. But you guys complied. Yeah. You complied. I complied. Yeah, you got complied. But some of us warriors.

Oh, so you're better. Yeah, I'm better. Yeah, yeah. I went, you're going to, yeah, hit me. And it seems like it made no dent on you, whatsoever. Yeah, you're right. Yeah, I'm all fucked up. You seem really well.

yeah yeah yeah but I don't know why I think because I don't think I could have got the all A's that's what I was right about to say I think that I think you took the beating because even if you were to comply you couldn't have gotten the A's you made it look deliberate yeah very good yeah yeah interesting because I remember one semester I tried I went you know what I want to try to get an A right and I got maybe like a B in something like history or something. And I still got a beating. And I tried my hardest.

So I want, you know what? I'm going to go to the opposite because there's no way I can do it. Yeah. And it's not that, am I dumb? No.

No. No, I think it's smart. Yeah, yeah. I just, in my mind, I just couldn't absorb certain information,

like numbers. So you just absorbed a can of whoop. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, really, I couldn't, I just still today with, you know,

with me in numbers, I just, I'm not good at it. It's just a little dyslexic. But that's the thing, traditional classroom learning is kind of bullshit. But it is nonsense, yeah,

and it doesn't equate to actual intelligence. Not at all. I just had a photographic memory, so everything I did was technically cheating, I guess. Yeah. You have a photographic memory?

That's incredible. Yeah. So you can, with lines, you just, that's it. I can learn them walking on to set. Wow. Wow. It's really weird.

Do you dream come true? No. Sweating the entire time. Yeah, yeah. I need the script six months before. Yeah, yeah. But mine isn't. I'm indicative of any kind of intelligence.

That's just like a... That's the highest intelligence. What are you talking about? It's not intelligence. There's nothing intelligent. To be able to memorize... See a page in front of my... In my mind's eye, that's all.

I'm just cheating life. Yeah. That's so cool. I'm a bulldog. So cool. Yeah. How fast did you learn? Like, like...

What do you mean? She leaned back so. For me? Oh my gosh. A minute. Yeah, yeah. Did you know, do you don't want a photographic memorabilize? is? Yes, she just explained it.

Then why'd you ask how fast did she learn? Well, like in a day I can learn in a book, you know what I mean? Do you know what you mean? No, I actually don't. Can you explain yourself? I don't know what you mean. Do you explain it to me? I was just like you. Like, I was bad at reading in school, but

that's pretty impressive. Thank you. Really good pivot, dude. It's really good. Yeah. You really got some last night, huh? I did. I can tell you. You're tired from it. I was going to get something, but I messed up, okay.

How'd you mess up? What happened? I made a bad joke. What was the joke? What was the joke? I made the orange joke. People usually laugh at that, but she gave me that same face. People usually laugh at that, but like, you know, you guys did it.

And then she's like, orange? It does cry. I've seen it. It crush. I know. But every time he says it on. stage, I always look at the audience. And when they laugh, I look at the audience

like, I don't know why. I just kind of look at the audience and I just kind of go, what is going on here? Jaime, look, James Blake likes it. James Blakely. James is in bits. Yeah, yeah. It's really funny. I like, she didn't find it funny. She was like,

that's it? That's it. And she, yeah. Well, I think if, is that how you delivered it? No, I Delivered more confidence. Okay. Then she's a bitch. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You delivered it pretty badly to me. I think I would have found it funnier if you'd given it a bit more oomph. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, yeah, she was like, oh, okay. And then we closed a tab, and then we left. Oh, so you lied. You didn't hook up last night.

No, I'm telling you, that's just, it's a joke. It's just a joke. Oh, that was a joke that you just told. Oh, I'm sorry then. You'll get it to one day. Yeah. It's going to land. Yeah, one day, no, one day you're going to hook up.

Okay. Okay. I promise. One day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, anyway. How old are you? Well, you guess.

Jimmy, let's, Jimmy, let's, Jimmy, let's, baby. No, Jimmy, let's, how old he is. 24? No. He's 46 years old. He's an orange park. I'm 29. He is an orange park.

I didn't get fingered to lowest 23, so, you know, you're not that far behind. Oh, okay. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, wait, you lost your virginity at 23 years old? I can see it in your eyes, don't worry. 23 is when you lost your virginity? 22, I lost my virginity, and then I got fingered. Oh, weird.

That actually tracks for some reason. I'm like, wait. Ask me something about me. What a great pivot. That's a really good fit. Great pivot. Yeah, yeah. Jimmy.

Jabba. Robert. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want children? No. Okay. Why? Huh?

Why? Ugh. Sorry. No, no, I get it. My sister is very anti-baby herself. Great, great, great, great. Yeah, no, I can't be fucked. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I cannot be fucked at all. I really don't want one. I got into loads of trouble for saying in the media that my abortion was the best decision I've ever made. Well, we'll cut that out. No, keep it in. All right. No, but. But then, but then I got a huge amount of pushback from, you know, the Christian right.

And I was like, okay, I'm sorry. I apologize. That was wrong. In fact, the best decision of my life was cutting bangs, and then it was my abortion. And then they got much angry. So that's fun. Yeah. But yeah, no, I'm just not, I'm not built for it.

I can't be bothered. I love to wake up at, like, sort of 11 a.m. I love, I'm a woman of leisure. Yeah. I think that's me, too, huh? Woman of leisure. A woman of leisure. Yeah, yeah.

You know what the biggest thing for me is, is I hate a lot of people. And the idea of having to become friends with the parents of their friends, that is like a phobia of mine. It's like having to hang out with people that I don't want to hang out with because my fucking child went and made a fucking friend.

Yeah, that sucks. But then maybe what if, like, what if, you know what I mean, your kid is friends with a kid that's really, their parents are really cool? I don't give a shit. I've already got 12 friends and I just don't need any more. And if one of them dies, I'll replace them. But I'll keep a tight 12, you know, like Jesus.

Yeah, I think a tight, I have a tight six. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You went 12, huh? I have 12. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was on the good place. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, but six.

I'm joking. Yeah. Wait, is Ted Danson in the 12? Yeah. Really? You still talk to him? Sometimes. Oh, wow.

Yeah. He had me over for a sleep over. Weep. No, we didn't. Really, a sleepover at his house? Yeah, him and his wife had all of the cast and our spouses. Me and James got to go over for a sleepover at a 10-dancel house. And Mary Steenberg had made us like frittata in the morning.

And it was just the most enchanted day ever. And they found out what all of our favorite snacks were, and they'd laid them out on each of our pillows. And then we, no, we didn't. What a magical thing. Yeah, it was an unbelievable day. Yeah. Could have been you, Barbie.

I've had magical moments. He's turned down to Thanksgiving with Michael Bay. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. I don't imagine Michael Bay is going to leave your favorite snacks out for you. The opposite. Yeah.

You know what drives Michael Bay crazy? Megan Fox. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But his ankles are this thin. So every time I put my hands around him like that. I don't know what it is. I just have to put my hands around his ankle like this. And he always goes,

take your hand off my ankle and I go and I do it but every time I see his ankle exposed ankle I have to grab it yeah but anyway I turn down things Do you think that's why he's such an angry man He's not angry actually

I find him to be very He's known for having rage issues and I wonder if that comes I mean sometimes sometimes it's like a small cock or sometimes it's just teeny tiny little ankles Well no well let me say it's the legendary of Michael Bay I heard the opposite of his peni that it's a gigantic Who started that rumor

Yeah But anyway No I think that Michael Bay is a case Where maybe on set He's because he's the captain of the ship Right What I find is off camera Or like in the wild

Right He's a gentle soft You know what I mean fun guy Fun Yeah yeah yeah Cool You know don't you You don't agree or

Oh no I don't know any You know that some people on I'm here to read rumors. Yeah, I know. But Jimmy, I don't know what you're like. If you, like, if you and I are on a sitcom together. Yeah.

I don't know what you're going to be like. What do you mean? You could be a diva. Could I? I don't know. I mean, I think some people at work is a little different than when they're in the wild. No, I am, my problem is that I'm exactly the same. Yeah.

Oh, I see. Yeah. I think you and I, if we want a sitcom together. We'd be a fucking nightmare. It would be great. No, no. I think that you and I would feed into our anxiety. No, I think we would create chaos.

You think so? Yeah, 100%. I was... This scene sucks? I think the scene sucks. Am I bad? No, no. Yeah, and then would you say that too?

Like, I'm... I'd be like, yeah, I think you're bad. I'd feed you... Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, you would? Yeah. Yeah, I don't think you're gonna test well. You know what, Jamil? I don't think you're gonna test well.

Because, you know, when you turn around, your old ass, yeah, yeah, I don't think that's good on camera. camera. Right? And then we would feed. I know, I have to moonwalk out of every scene. Nightmare. Yeah.

You know what? I think that we would be positive together. I agree. We could do the new... I think we'd be very fun. We could be Harold and Kamar. Yeah. Oh.

Part four, maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Let's do it. Wow. Harold and Kumar. I think we should play a couple. I don't think we have enough

petite men with overly large women. Oh, that'd be funny. Yeah. And it not... And there'd be no joke. jokes about it. Yeah. It should never be referenced. Oh, there should be never. No, no. No. I think the opening show, you and our couples therapy. 100%. Yeah, yeah. I think it's a, and my feet dangle from the couch because there's a short. Yeah, yeah. It's for sure it's the era of the short king.

I think the short kings are really having a moment. I think you're right. I don't know what that was. I'm sorry. But I'm with the man who's legally a giant. How tall are you? I'm five foot, almost 11. He's six foot. he's legally a giant. Yeah, I didn't realize James Lake was that tall. He could technically get a disabled parking pass but he won't and it's really annoying

because I wear heels, yeah. Yeah, well, you know, I've got to do a long walk. I don't want to assume things about James but, you know, big feet, I saw his feet. Massive tall guy. Is it massive? I'm...

Yeah, yeah. But you know, his music, your music is scary. It's really scary. Massive cock and you're like, well, your music. Your music gives off massive cock. Yeah. But your music is very

like introspective, you know what I mean? And stuff. He's a, he's a thinker and a feeler. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I mean, imagine the kind of kids you would have with him. They would also be legally giants.

Yeah, but they'd break my pussy. I don't want that. two talented people and I always Oh, it's a nepo nightmare Yeah, yeah, yeah But that doesn't translate really sometimes When you have two talented people And they breathe

Well, we don't have that problem Because only he's talented I'm just lucky No, you're not, you're talented Mm-hmm Shut the fuck up You're talented Shut the fuck up

You fuck up Fuck you! I like it I like it feels good It feels good, I like it It's like, you know, repetition Yeah, yeah Mirroring

Mirroring. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say it different in New England. But yeah, that was really good. We were feeding off each other. But what, fuck off? But is that why you've always dated, like, taller girls? Because you want to offset your own genetic? Wants to go up on them. Because every time. What is that mean? It's a Natasha Legerro joke, just about Kevin Hart having to go up on his wife. Yeah, yeah. Instead of down. Yeah. No, when I was. That's pretty funny. The only, yeah, I mean, that's the downside is there's certain positions you can't do. I can't do reverse cowgirl. I can only do three pumps and then I look back at James and I'm like, sorry.

Oh my God, that's so funny. I don't have any nice strength. Yeah, I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what retro. grade was okay yeah yeah so um but the reason why um i want taller is because when i was a kid my parents my mom was what five one was tiny tiny and my dad was like five two and my brother and i would look at my parents and i would turn to my brother and go we're fuck we're never going to grow this is it this is at 10 and 7 we would i knew it and i always in my mind is like i have to

breed taller to give my kids a chance you know I've had a good life yeah you've done very well I've taken what God has given me and my parents given me and you know take

but you know I was also jawline you know I mean like what yeah you go for very because I don't want my because I feel like my face is too round

yeah yes really you're the king of round face yeah yeah yeah yeah what you're agreeing yeah right So, like, you want to, so you kind of calculate that. Oh, that's why you always like girls with, like, long chin.

Yes. So you're just sort of doing eugenics fired. Yeah. That's exactly it. I think that's what it is, yeah. That's very interesting. Yeah, I look and I go, yeah, I got to figure it out. I'm the opposite.

I'm trying to end my bloodline. Yeah, yeah. It's a great power. My brother and I both agreed, we shook on it. We're going to end the bloodline. It's a great power. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, James, do you want kids? no? Wow. Not with me anyway. Yeah. What about adopting them? I mean, that would be good for the environment. Oh, no, I can't be bothered. Fucking hell, no. No, I mean, I would, you know, it's lovely. It's lovely. It is lovely. Do you have an animal? You have animals? I love animals, yeah. But you have any. Dog sanctuary. I have two animals.

What are the two dogs? Barreled and Winnie. Okay, good. Perfect dogs. Yeah. Heavenly dogs. And that's it. I want to have like 15 dogs. That's the plan. Yeah. You want a dog sanctuary, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I want it all. I want like, you know what I mean Glass frogs

I'd be real I want like what it was What do you call them with those Those children No no no let's play this game Whoa Those are my adorable dogs Oh my god

Are they the same kind They are the same kind They're cavapoos Cavapoos They're so cute They're very cute What a life Look at that life

It's like a fucking white picket fence, right? She's not white, dude. No. Well, they just missed each other. She's Pakistan. No, I know, but I'm saying like the white picket house. I have a brown picket fence. That's what we get.

Oh, okay. I've never seen a white picket fence in my life. No, white people. No, but they don't have picket fences. Nobody has picket fences anymore, but that's a cute picture. That's good. That's good. That's good.

Yeah, that is a cute picture. Yeah. Do you have a professional photographer to take that? No, that was our flatmate. What's a flatmate? We have roommates. We had roommates for the entire 10 years that we lived in Los Angeles. Really?

Yeah. Like, who were they? They were my friends from when I was 19. Oh, whoa. A bunch of guys, and James is a very cool man who said, yes, your male friends can move in with us in our house, and then we're a big happy family. You don't miss L.A., do you?

Not at all. Yeah, yeah. No. I missed the weather. and I miss the buffalo cauliflower. But other than that, I do like time in London. I love America. Yeah.

I just spent 10 years here and I think I need a little refresh and then at some point I'll come back. Really? And so I'd just dip in and out. Because by first time in, I mean, I'd been to London before. You don't like London, do you? No, I was just, I loved it. Oh, did you?

Let me say something about London. Say something. The best shopping. Of your life, yeah. Of my life. They have smells there that you can't get anywhere else. They have stores there. It's mostly the smell of piss in London, but there is...

No, I'm going to cologne. I like... Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, yeah. We need so much cologne to overshadow the smell of the stench of piss in our streets. There was a smell. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's pretty bad.

Architecture. Great. Incredible. Yeah. And, you know, they say English people have bad feet, bad teeth and bad restaurants, but I disagree. We have good restaurants. We have good restaurants. All the other stuff is very teeth.

true. No, no, and the feet are great. So I saw them all. Wow. Yeah, yeah. And then we stayed at this hotel where there was a sauna steam room pool at the, in the basement of this hotel. Okay. And it was a fever dream. And that's all I'll have to say about it. It was the greatest moment of my life. I can, I'll always remember this moment. And the food and the people, the show was wild. You know what I mean? congratulations. I understand. Thank you. I built it myself. No, you did it. You had nothing to do with it. No, I did. And you have the best sport football of all time. Oh, thanks. Yeah, I love, I've always

love England. The people, the music, right? Music is very good. Music. The Beatles, Liverpool, right? Radiohead, James Blake. Okay. Okay. Rolling Stone. I don't really know what I'm supposed to do here, but I'm going to do. I just want to say that. Just keep listing English things. No, what I'm just saying to you is that stay there. We don't want you back.

Okay. Yeah. Stay there. I'm brown. I are getting that message loud and clear. So do you guys live in a house there or a flat or whatever? We live in a flat. What's the difference?

A house is a home that has its own kind of separate entrance and is separated from other houses. A flat is an apartment just stacked in amongst other apartments. And it's not... Because we're humble. Is that what humble people are? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, tell me the difference. Okay, so a flat, a house.

What are some other English living spaces? What the fuck are you talking about? Like a palace? Yeah, that's what I'm like. Okay, we have palaces. We have palaces. We have doorways. You have doorways, too.

Amazing. Yeah, pretty good. Okay, yeah, yeah. Bullrooms. Yeah. We have castles. You have castles. That's exactly.

We don't have castles here. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah, well, the magic castle. Yeah, yeah, that's a, yeah, I guess that's a very exciting. Is the first castle not a castle? Go ahead. Medieval. Medieval. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Medieval. Medieval. There we go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sweaty. I don't want to do that. You loved her hanging? My hand's sweaty, I'm not going to.

No, I love him. He can do no wrong. So when you're in a flat, do you know other people? You're my best friend. He's the best, yeah. He really is a sweet. guy. Have you ever been to medieval times? Medieval. Medieval times?

No. What do you mean by that? Like a Renaissance? You want to know if I've lost my virginity. I have. So therefore, I've not been to medieval time. Oh, medieval time. Yeah. It does look amazing. Yeah. I think you were like, do you have a time machine? You went back to the medieval times. No, he thinks I'm that old. No. No, you look great. Oh, thanks, Ben. Asian doesn't raise them. Because I've never met you physically. Have we met physically?

I don't think so. I don't think so either. No. But I've, you know, followed you. and whatnot, you know what I mean? But you look exactly then from 10 years ago when I followed you. I told you Asian doesn't raisin. Yeah. That's the vibe.

Yeah. Do I look 54? No, you don't. You know you don't. It's so disingenuous to even ask. But you know what? My nose hairs are not white. But I can't see those.

I didn't think. I'm going to shave them, but I pluck them. What about your pubs? Salt pepper. No, there's no white pubs yet. I think you had like one or two. I'm going to show you now. I'll show you now.

I'll show you now. You're 30? I'm like 40. Well, in two months. Yeah, I'm 39. Wow. A lot is happening. What was going on?

Actually, I couldn't tell because you shaved. I know. Brazilian? No, I shaved my own. Do you shave it into a shape? No, I'd shave it all. If you could, what shape would it be? Oh, God, that's really good.

Probably an Arsenal Canon. Or, you know, Arsenal Canon. Or what else? You know what I mean? A heart. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

What's this when Koreans do this? No, it's this. Yeah, what is this? It's like heart. It's a heart. When people want to do this, I want to just break it. Snap it off. Yeah, snap it off.

Yeah. Do you like this? No. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I believe in love. What is this? Do you believe in love, Bobby?

Wait. You work with... I'm in a... Well, you work with Oliver? Is that Oliver Hudson? I did, Oliver Hudson. Wait, wait, you and Oliver work together? Yeah, we play boyfriend and girlfriend.

Is that a movie coming out? On Wednesday, yes. No. And who else is in it? It's Alicia Silverstone and Melissa Joan Hart, Sabrina the teammate, which, and Pearson Fodi, yeah, sure. I love Ollie. What a nice man, huh?

Great man. One of my favorite scene partners that I've ever had. Yeah, let's see, let's see, I don't think he'll pick up, but Should we both call him and see which one he answers? Oh my God, that would be being so angry Hey, so Yeah He's doing that

In England, you guys have a good fashion sense I love your fashion, I love your fashion. Thank you. Well, not Bobby Lee. Oh, my God, I'm so glad you picked up. You're on my podcast. You know who I have on? Who? Jamila.

Hi, Oliver. She got on the Bobby Lee podcast, that's tough. I know she's big time, but... Yeah, she is big time, you know? She really is big time. What was it like working with her, Ollie? You shut your mouth, Oliver. It was great.

Honestly, it was amazing. She had to get used to her for about three to five minutes, but it took a minute to get to get used to her she was just all out there man everything was just bang bang bang it's like okay yeah who was easier to work with me or Jamila hi Jamila I mean you

it was like just talking someone off a cliff every time no no belief in your ability scared of everything you know afraid that Channing was going to come down in fire I know Did you real

Well how about the one morning When you didn't show up to work for three hours And I was calling you and calling you I was nervous I thought something had happened to you And you just slept through your alarm I guess That was the worst morning of my life

Oh dude I can't imagine But I was fucking Whereas wasn't I professional Oliver I turned up The hernia. Oh, my God. I could never do what Jamila did.

Every day she comes to work, it's like, straight out of hospital. This happens. Something is that there's some sort of an ailment. She's throwing up. She's this. She was that. I mean, but she showed up every single morning, you know, with puke breath.

Did you ever meet James Blake? Yeah. he was great yeah he's a great guy yeah he's a great guy yeah yeah yeah he probably has a bigger penis than you I don't know I don't know about that it doesn't feel like he does

I mean he's got an extra quarter inch because he's uncircised I'm sure very good you know what I will agree I will agree yeah yeah yeah yeah well yeah for sure well Ollie thanks for picking up I love you love you guys I said, hey. I'll see you tomorrow.

Yeah. Hey, Oliver. Oliver. He doesn't know you. He does know me. He does know. You don't know, Oliver. I was on the episode with him.

He called me Flyboy. Was that he called me Flyboy? No, he did. Wait, wait. Oliver? Yeah, Hyman and Oliver were in the same episode here at Tiger Belly. Oh, I didn't remember. This one's thing.

Okay. I don't think he remembers. I think he remembers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Wait, what kind of sick do you get? You know, you know, you're. You were actually the first person who openly talked about Aylard's Danlo.

Yes, Ayls-Dunl syndrome. Do you have it? My sister does. Oh, I'm sorry. But it wasn't a thing. This was before TikTok. Not everywhere on TikTok, you know, hear people talk about their autoimmune stuff. Oh, yeah.

It's the one where I pulled my cheeks ridiculously wide. Yeah, that was like a long time ago. Whoa. Whoa. What is that? What? How can you go? Hi-May.

Oh, shoot. Hymey might have the same thing. Whoa. I think we diagnosed this. Dude. That's incredible. Stop doing it. Stop doing it.

But you were the reason why it even like sparked the thing in her head. Loads of people got diagnosed after that video went viral. Yeah. It's just a lack of collagen in my body. So that's kind of why I don't really age because my skin just sort of like a big elastic band. So it's my body. So I can kiss my own ass. I'm not going to do it right now, Bobby.

So stop asking. but I can and so yeah so I mostly I have lots of accidents and actually the accident that happened to me on set during Mary Little Xmas out November trough is that I

we have you can see that very tall handsome you know cool drink of water or whatever the fuck you're supposed to call him on the end of Pearson Fodee he's jacked like crazy crazy jacked and he is working out all of the time and so if you want to be friends with him

you have to be friends with him in a gym. So I went to the gym with him, and he trained me and went so hard that I got a hernia pulling up some weights. Oh, my God. But I got hernia in my food tube, which I didn't know was a thing. So that's why I was vomiting all the time on set.

So I was having to go to accent emergency and then turn up and like ski in this fucking movie. Did he, did he apologize? Yeah, of course. Okay, okay. But it was not his fault that I'm made of, you know, I don't know whatever the material

and flubber is yeah yeah I mean that happens to my sister she like doing nothing she'll twist both of her ankles and she'll like to spray ankles for six months

yeah yeah for no reason yeah for no reason but I was a Marvel supervillain and I did all my own stunts wow so I broke everything November when does this come out November 12th

on Netflix this week so this week right now if you're listening to me go watch a merry little X-Miss and Emily Jamil and listen to my podcast wrong terms

we're gonna get there We're going to fucking get there, man. What are you doing? We do one thing at a time, man. And Shee-Hulk. I'm just really excited. That's already passed. If you want to...

She has a book, shame. Twelve years ago, I was on a radio show on the BBC. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right? We're doing current fucking promotion. Okay, but still. All right, so anyway... It was my birthday in February.

Amaria? Happy birthday. I marry a little X-Miss, right? You have a podcast called... Wrong turns with Jamila Jamil. Out wherever you get your podcast. Right. Did you have fun today?

I had such a lovely time. That was so fun. I've been really confused. I've been disgusted at times. But I had a really lovely time. You're a lovely bunch of people. And I've never felt like the least weird person in a room until today. So thank you for that.

Thank you for coming, Jamila Jamil. Give a round of applause, everybody.