TigerBelly - James McCann & The Tribes of Comedy
Episode Date: June 17, 2026Comedian James McCann joins TigerBelly to chat looksmaxxing, Korean saunas, Australian culture, the hierarchy of comedy, North Korea, Australian Idol, Adelaide Life, and directing a movie wit...h Bobby.https://www.instagram.com/jamesdonaldforbesmccannSign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial today at www.shopify.com/tigerbelly Join the membership for where you live at joinbilt.com/BELLY For simple, online access to personalized and affordable care for Hair Loss, Weight Loss, and more, visit www.hims.com/BELLYWatch every episode of the Hulu Original series Alice and Steve on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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We have a new sidekick Luke Bilton.
What's the last name?
Binko.
Binko.
I like Bilted.
I like Bilted. I can, yeah, whatever.
I want to say what your real name is.
It's Luke Binko.
Luke Binko.
Shai guy, huh?
Yeah, yeah.
You're a little shy guy.
Sometimes.
Yeah, yeah.
Luke works at the comedy store.
He's a door person.
much like Ramsey once was.
Yeah.
Cat still is.
Yeah.
Right?
It's a fine institution.
Number one.
Yeah.
For, in terms of comedy institutions,
it could be viewed as a Harvard or a...
Yale.
Yale.
Yeah, yeah.
Or, uh...
MIT?
Cambridge.
Yeah.
Hogwarts.
That's interesting.
Interesting.
Your generation would go to Hogwarts.
Do you actually think that's an actual school?
If you were a wizard, it'd be an actual school.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Would you go?
If I was, if I got one of the letters, yeah, I'd go.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
If I could.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I feel like an owl wouldn't deliver you.
I feel like it would be like a pigeon or something.
Damn, he doesn't get an owl?
Yeah, he doesn't even get a full letter.
He gets like a post-it note.
Yeah, he gets one of those.
Right on the eye of a pigeon.
It just says, I guess you're invited.
No.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
It knocks it's head on your window, right?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, and still,
I don't think you would go.
No.
Is he here?
Not yet.
He would run by the way.
Okay.
But yeah, I think you've been, I think you have a Hogwartsy face as a student.
Yeah, big time.
Okay.
Does he not?
He does, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
You look like a professor.
Well, thank you.
Yeah.
Snake or something.
You know what I mean?
Snape.
I just called him a snake.
Professor Snape?
Professor Snape, yeah.
Like, you're not, you're in the dark arts.
I feel like it started positive.
And it got kind of.
No, no, no.
You're not in the dark arc?
in the Hogwarts universe? Yeah, I guess
I would be. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Slytherin.
You're Slytherin. No, not Slytherin. He's not
white. Yeah. Slytherans are
pretty... Are there black Slytherans? I mean,
in the new one... New Snape. Yeah, the new
Snape is black. You think I'd be a D-E-I?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd take it. But you're definitely not somebody
like, you know what I mean? Like, um,
Alchemist teacher. I'm the Alchemist teacher.
And what would I teach, you think?
Like Doric Powers, like
moving, transforming a...
cave into a fucking, you know what I mean?
A cave pussy.
So then a big creature, whatever.
Yeah, okay. Like just
spells that, you know what I mean, wouldn't help
anybody. Certainly. You know what I mean?
I mean, unless you were turned. I turned. I turned to turn this tree into it like,
you know, a tractor.
Feels like that would be helpful.
Oh, that's true. Yeah. I want to this tree
into a nuclear missile.
Okay. Okay. I knew it was going to
Yeah, nuclear missile with
certain colors on it. Okay.
That represent a certain country.
What about that?
Okay.
What about that one?
I'm going to move on from this.
Okay.
Okay.
Why you have a headache all of a sudden?
Oh, I don't know.
Why are you sweating?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know.
I was thinking about something else.
Yeah, what were you thinking about?
Oh, I forget.
Are you scared that the straight of her moves is close?
No.
I mean, yeah, I guess.
No.
I don't know.
What?
I don't really.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I'm confused is there literally just like a gate that they closed?
How is it closed?
Who's closing it?
Couldn't you just drive your boat through and it's like, okay.
Don't do it, brother.
A white hymen.
Don't get Bobby going.
What do you mean?
Don't do it, brother.
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
It's the thesis of my argument.
Yeah, I know, but do you have Google?
I think so.
You don't look it up.
Well, I don't just spend my time being like, oh, is there a gate at the street of
Hormuz?
Like a gate?
He thinks it's like a pearly gates that opens up.
A toll road.
Yeah.
Yeah.
No, it's just a gigantic, I don't know how many miles is it, 15 mile of waterway.
Sounds right to me.
Yeah, but there's only like two miles of actual shipping lane.
You know what I mean?
Because a lot of the straight-of-Hermuz is shallow.
Bobby's getting really into the straight-of-homboose.
Yeah, you're tapped in, bro.
He's tapped in.
Yeah, but there's not an actual gate.
That'd be the biggest gate ever made.
Yeah, I would do.
Only the Chinese could do it.
How long is the actual straight, in its narrowest,
passage. Yeah, that's pretty, that looks pretty big. Yeah. I don't think you can do a gate there.
I'm going to estimate right now. 90 to 104 miles. I was going to exactly say that.
90 miles. Yeah. And then the width is varying from 24 to 60 miles. Okay. And what are the shipping
lanes with?
No one Googles this.
Shipping lanes. Okay. Come on. This is the most geopolitical.
Yeah. I was like getting into trouble for not Googling it myself.
Two miles.
That's what I said.
Did I not?
You did.
Yeah, I did say that.
Pretty close.
Bobby's tapped in.
Yeah.
I'm not tapped in.
I just, you know, I just know what's going on a little bit.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And your generation, what are you guys doing?
Coachella's.
We're at Coachella.
I went to Coachella.
We're looks maxing.
Yeah, you're looks maxing.
Yeah, you were trying to explain to me that earlier.
What is it?
Yeah.
Looks maxing is basically just to mathematically make yourself the most good looking that you can,
through any means necessary.
Any means.
Are you doing that now?
I aspire, you know, I'm on my looks-maxing journey, as many people are.
You are?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm just at the beginning of my journey.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I hope to grow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, but you're cute.
Thank you.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've been looking at looks-maxing.
No, but I think genetically you're cute.
Genetics are a big part of it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So you don't have to do much on that end.
No.
Yeah, yeah.
I guess.
Is your mom hot?
Huh.
I guess you definitely.
Yeah, who is hot in your family?
The dad or mom.
mom. Somebody asked him. Yeah. I guess you'd have to ask someone else. No, in your opinion, I can say that.
Yeah. In your opinion. I'll, no, I can say this, okay? That mom, my mom based on her earlier photos,
especially in her 20s, was a pretty lady. Yeah, I could see that. Her face. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Yeah. Body not great.
Dumpster fire. But the face is good. You know what I mean? So can you, yeah, look at my mom.
Yeah, your mom is very attractive.
Yeah, she's attractive, okay?
Nice.
And that's me as a baby.
She was clearly looks maxing.
Yeah, she looks maxing there, right?
You could see her jaw, her jaw line there is like a really pronounce, that's good.
That's good for looks maxing.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You still kind of look like that, Bobby.
That's crazy.
What you try to say, dog?
What are you trying to say, Doug?
I'm saying, like, you, if you show me that and, like, not cut your mom out, I would have guessed that was you.
Yeah, not Ronnie Charing?
No, no.
Okay.
That's a distinct Bobby Lee right there.
Okay.
He kicked that off, please?
I didn't even know that was on the internet.
So between your parents, who do you think is the most attractive?
My mom.
My mom, I guess, a very lovely woman.
She's a lovely woman.
Are they still together?
No.
Okay.
Single?
Your mom?
My mom is single, yeah.
How old is your mom?
She's older.
She's like 60.
Okay.
Bobby's out.
What do you mean?
I have a girlfriend.
I know, but even if you didn't, you'd be out.
That's not true.
That's insane.
You date a 62-year-old.
I did Cher.
I would date share.
Share is hot.
Yeah.
I think Sarah's hot.
And she's an icon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Madonna.
Okay, you're only, you're literally only two.
Celebrities.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're only choosing famous.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Who are people in their 60s?
Okay.
Yeah, I mean, these are all gorgeous.
I want to just tell you right now.
Lisa Renna, are you in?
What, yeah.
In, what?
I'll just go through the phone.
We don't have to say.
Okay.
Out, in, in, out, out, out.
Out, in, out.
You're out on Edy Falco?
Yeah.
That's crazy.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, here we go.
Okay.
Okay, okay.
In, out.
Okay.
Wow.
Come on.
Out.
Out.
In.
Okay.
In.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Out.
I think.
I think out.
Yeah.
Oh, in for sure.
For sure.
In.
Out.
Yeah, yeah.
In.
Out.
In.
No.
Come on, dude.
Okay, that's crazy.
Is that Donald Duck?
In.
If that's Donald Duck, in.
Yeah, yeah.
How about you?
Let's go this row, Luke.
Okay, but I have a girlfriend.
I know.
I have a girlfriend, too.
This is just older ladies if you were single.
Yeah, dude.
You're not going to actually date.
Go in the row.
No.
What?
I don't think I could.
I think you could.
All right, all right, ready go.
Wait, so where are we started?
I'll do 65.
Okay, go 65, go 65.
Okay, Jane Lynch, she would...
Don't say the names.
You just go...
Oh, you don't say the...
We'll show the photos online.
Say in-row.
Okay, okay.
In, in, I guess.
I guess.
I guess is an out.
Yeah, I'd tell you in-in.
Second row.
In, in...
In, in...
In, all of them.
Kill the swing.
Wait, really quick.
Third row in.
Wow.
way in third row yeah dude i'm all in honestly wow i like this guy i like this guy a lot dude
yeah yeah yeah how about well let go back to that next the previous page ramsie okay
were you in on on all no absolutely not okay tell me yours out in out in out in in in out wow
very good i'm an older man i'm discerning yeah yeah what is what is this you just don't dream big enough
This is 67?
They look great for 67.
They look great.
Well, I know one of them, so I can't even do that one.
You've known multiple.
No.
I've seen few that you knew here.
All right.
So, no, trust me, I only know one of them on this list, personally.
Oh, you mean on this one?
On this particular list.
Okay, okay.
This is seven-year-old.
Okay, okay.
I can do this.
I can do this perfectly.
If you were gay.
Okay.
And be honest.
This is easy.
This is so easy.
Incredibly easy.
In.
Definitely.
In.
Definitely.
Out.
Yeah.
Out.
Really?
Whoa.
In.
It's just a look.
In.
Out.
I got it.
In out.
I thought that was a...
I give you 90% on that one.
How can he be out on William Defoe?
He just in the dark.
Oh, this is by lighting.
Thinking about in the dark.
You know how your eyes get adjusted to the dark?
Yeah.
And he wants to hook up at four in the morning.
You're not in.
And he's like this close to your face and you wake up, it would freak you out, I think.
Bobby, that was actually a beautiful case.
I think he's going, oh, William, what's up?
He's like, suck my dick.
I did not know I was going to be turned around so quickly.
Well, you have to know, because we're in a relationship and we're together, you know what I mean?
I'm picturing the red carpet, William Defoe.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, you gotta think of regular, no makeup.
Late night.
It is regular clothing.
Oh, yeah.
Morning breath.
Yeah, morning breath.
Oh, my God, that morning breath is a goblin life.
Right?
Just like a goblin.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
All right, so here we, hold all the same.
All right, so.
This is 81.
81.
Let's do your list.
Go Luke.
On this one.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, yeah.
Let's go Luke.
Okay, this is if I would make gay, gay sex with him.
If you would make it.
And in a relationship with them.
In a relationship.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Out.
Yeah.
Wow.
Yeah.
What do you mean?
Wow.
Okay, out in, in, out, yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So out.
Yeah.
So out.
Yeah.
So out.
Yeah.
I think that's my list too.
Yeah.
How about you, Ramsey?
I think I'm in.
There we go.
In.
Yeah.
In.
Yeah.
Out.
Why?
I think there could be an abuse.
situation.
Let me just say this right now.
Let me just say this right now.
Please.
And you just offended me to the biggest degree.
I do.
No one can offend.
I do apologize.
No, him.
Okay.
All right.
He's been sober forever.
That's good here.
He's helped more people probably than anyone I ever know.
Right?
He's a good man.
I'm sure he's good.
Right.
And I think you said no.
right and I'm going to say this out loud
I think you both of you said now right
because of racism you said I agree with my list
though after I said it you did say I agree to his
no he wasn't making it no I didn't
let me edit out I'll edit out
what I didn't say
I didn't even know that it was Edward James
Olmos I didn't read it oh really did you're
I'm out without Edward James almost
yeah okay go back to telling us
how we're racist
yeah yeah yeah after you
confused
okay anyway yeah
But I agree the last three completely out.
You know, I think Michael Douglas.
I mean, just a legend.
Just for the stories.
The stories of the stories of Gary, though, no?
I'm with you on Gary, by the way.
I might go yes on Gary.
Yeah, these are too old.
Can we go a little younger with the guys?
Yeah, that's 80.
Let's go to 75.
Where's James McCann at?
Perfect.
Time in.
Thank you.
Perfect.
Thank God.
Thank God.
What's up?
Hi.
Hi, hi.
Nice to meet you.
It's good there.
Hello. Am I going here? Yeah, right there. We got water for you?
Oh please. The honor and respect is all my.
Oh, if I may.
You may not.
You may, I mean.
Hi.
My friend Ruby.
Who is Ruby, dear Ruby?
Ruby is a comedian. She's in the festival. She's different.
What do you mean? She's different in what way?
Oh, dear friends. Sorry, not different.
Oh, dear friend.
What does that mean?
Dear friend?
Friends, maybe, yeah.
That they're dear.
A dear friend.
Okay.
Is it a platonic relationship?
Yes.
Thumbs up.
Take to you.
James is a married man.
Are you really married, James?
Yes.
Why is that funny?
You're sent to instruction.
Are you really married?
I don't mind.
It's a hard thing in this business to be married?
Not a lot.
Yeah, not a lot.
I've never been married.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's how Koreans, you know what I mean?
I, well...
Because we put in the heart.
I've seen this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I went to a Korean sauna recently for the first time.
Yes.
And, yeah, yeah, I thought it would be an odd sexual vibe because of the nudity.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it kind of was.
No, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
No, no, no, look at me right now, dude.
Yeah.
No, look, which one was it?
Because I'm an expert in...
I was in Houston.
I was a Houston...
See, I don't know the Houston spa, Korean spa scene.
Very cool with black, but.
people. A lot of black people at the Houston Korean Spots.
In the we spa here in LA, a lot of black people. Right. And a lot of Korean people. And a lot of
Korean people. And the Korean men are always like, hiding their penis. No, the black
penises were out and about. Yeah, I know. But the Koreans, because of the size differentiating.
Right? They go, they do that. They do that. Yeah. White so, so, you being a white. It's odd. It's odd. So there's two
types. I don't know if you like this, Luke.
Okay. I can't say this about you.
Shopify.
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Kai?
Well, and also you can get the word
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Very important.
So I can grow my own brand.
What's your brand called, dude?
I don't know.
It probably called Luke Brand or something.
I'm working on the name.
Luke Brand.
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So there's two types.
I don't know if you like this, Luke.
Okay.
I can't say this about you.
Because Persians...
Not Persian.
He's not Persian.
Palestinian, but all right.
Kind of on the other side of the whole thing.
Are Persians Arabs?
No, they're not.
No, but they're Palestinian?
Yeah, we're Arab.
But there are Arabs who say they're not.
Yeah.
They're Phoenician or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And what's that about?
I don't know.
You could have to pick it up with them.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But what is it about?
We'll deep dive into it, maybe later.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But when I said Persian, I apologize.
It's okay, yeah, and I forgive you all.
But I was fucking close.
Pretty close, dude.
Was I not fucking close?
You know what I mean?
Like when people go, are you Japanese?
I don't get offended.
I'm like, you're fucking close.
I think you'd get offended.
Yeah, yeah.
Like, you're white.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I am.
But you're an Australian white, an island white.
That is true.
I feel like the minorities in America are nicer to me than they are to the conventional whites.
Oh, I think I agree with you.
I think I get in easier with black people, et cetera.
Yeah.
Because of the historical context, I think.
Yeah.
I think this is James Baldwin going to Paris.
You're nodding along, like, you really know what I'm doing.
Yeah, I get it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
We agree.
Yeah, I agree with you.
Yeah, is that true?
That people are nicer to James.
because he's Australian,
I think,
I definitely don't experience that.
As a traditional white,
I don't think I experience that.
Oh, you don't?
Yeah.
You think that you're treated equally
amongst all of the immigrant
or ethnic groups?
No.
You do.
So are there ethnic groups
that you feel uncomfortable
and they treat you differently?
Ooh.
I love to hear this.
Yeah, we'd love to hear this.
I guess I might feel out of place,
but I let them shine.
I go, hey, you guys, this is your.
You guys
And I'm just here to
I'm listening and learn
Like shine
Like put a spotlight
We'll put your tuxedo on
Do a tap dance
I know
Yeah
Yeah
See they always want them performing
Yeah
Yeah yeah yeah
Yeah you throw them a basketball
Do something
You're on his side
You're looking at me
This is what you're talking about
Yeah
James gets to me
Right
We're on the same boat
I know where my bridge's butted
I know how to
You know
Come on me too
bro
You do?
Yeah
Yeah, yeah.
I don't know where it's wondering, bro.
All right, dude.
What are you looking at?
I'm looking all around.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a lot to look at.
So, James.
Thanks for having, man.
Thanks for being.
We can't, I can't wait.
And I couldn't wait.
Well, look, I'm happy to do it.
I think Santino's having me on in two.
I don't know why I couldn't do the one with your two together
and we save everybody time,
but I'm happy to do them separately.
I know I've got to work my way up to have you in the same room together.
Well, that's, you know,
That's unfortunately...
I'm being gate kept.
No, no, no, no.
That's unfortunately the wrong way to think about it.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
There's two things.
I wanted to address the spa thing, but I'll address this first,
and then I will go back to the spa because my mind works that way.
Okay.
Okay.
Number one, we rarely have guests.
Okay?
Bad friends.
Yes.
Yeah.
Both our podcast, individual podcasts, are guest-driven.
Yes.
Right?
So that's why you're doing probably by.
Have you done Whiskey Ginger yet?
I have not.
But you're doing it soon?
And I may also say this,
there are about,
I think it's odd that there are about five podcasts
in all of Los Angeles.
And between the two of you,
you've got three of them.
Yes.
It's a little odd.
Yeah, yeah.
But what I'm saying to you is that
once you do both,
and then you'll do,
do you understand?
Hey, I'm just happy to be here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It sounds like you're not.
If this is where it ended?
Yeah, yeah.
It's never going to end.
You and I were never going to end.
Can we go back to the spa?
Okay.
Okay.
There was a man followed me around.
And there was a cold, there was a hot pool.
Yeah, yeah.
Some sort of root in it.
Explain the root.
It was some sort of, it was a beautiful smell.
It was sort of murky.
It helped the back unlock or something.
Then there was a cold one and the man would walk over.
He walked, followed me from the heart into the cold, talking to me.
And he would stand up and he would sort of dip his penis because it came up to just mid-thigh level.
Yes.
And while talking to me, hands on hips, he was just dipping his penis into the cold.
Yes.
Yes.
Yes, talking to me.
Age?
Asian guy, black guy.
Oh, white guy.
White guy.
Yeah.
One of the only other whites there.
Yeah.
And he was dipping his, so you've never dipped your penis in and out like that?
Alone would be one thing.
Oh, I see.
Mid-conversation.
I did find that to be on you.
Yeah, that is unusual.
He was very friendly.
I agree.
Very friendly guy.
Yeah.
But I have done my dips.
Of course.
And you've got to do about 20, 25 a day.
I believe.
Yeah, alone.
Hot or cold water?
I do both.
You do both.
Yeah, every temperature.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Because I do the dips to make it stronger.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It circulates the...
What I love is the room afterwards.
Is it called the Joja Bar?
I don't know what it was called.
It had a special name.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
There was this whole room where apparently you're just allowed to go
and hang out for as long as you want.
Yeah, that's what it is.
And fall asleep.
Yeah, you can sleep there.
And there are people who, they stay there for out.
They spend the night there.
Yeah, they do.
This is a high trust.
It's a high trust situation.
I love it.
Well, there's lockers.
Yeah.
So at the We Spa, you can spend the night.
There are lockers.
There is an area where you can sleep, right?
In fact, all the spas have it in Korea Town.
And you pay a little extra for, like, overnight stay.
Interesting.
Yeah, so it's a good way.
You would have a vehicle, and it costs about $60 or $70.
Okay.
I mean, that's cheap than a hotel.
Yeah, it is cheaper than hotel.
I would rather do that, too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But what I was going to ask you about in terms of,
spa is me as a free American citizen slash Korean person, okay? And also just, you know, I'm sort of like
a Beatles song. Okay. If I may say. Sure. I fly. And so just let me just let me finish.
Okay. I fly. Right. I fly naked. And I, so when I'm at the spa, I go fly. And I,
I'm totally nude, right?
And I see a lot of half of the white people,
they cover themselves up with either pants, shorts,
or a towel when they're in the steam room in the dry sauna.
And I was going to ask you, what kind are you?
Oh, I was dick out.
Yes, dick out!
No, my dear friend...
Come on, get everyone, dick out!
Very important.
I could tell that it would be cowardly to cover the penis.
It's cowardly.
It draws more attention to your penis and everyone else's by covering it.
Great point.
Exactly.
Like there's something you're hiding.
But my friend Eve lived in Korea.
She's a Jewish woman from New York,
but she lived in Korea for a long time.
She opens for me.
She insisted we go whenever there's a Korean spa.
Yeah.
On the road, she goes, we're going to the Korean spa.
Yeah.
And she goes up, I didn't realize that, first of all,
the lady, they have an area.
But she was telling me in Korea
that there will sometimes be a more overt sexual.
She said she was once at a Korean spa,
and there was a very old Korean lady there in Korea,
pushing up against one of the jets.
and having orgasm.
Yes.
Yeah.
But this was considered to be a little unusual, but okay.
It seems unusual, yeah.
Well, can I reveal a story to you then?
Please, please.
My father caught me because my parents' bathroom, the bathtub,
had a strong faucet.
You know what I mean?
Like it just came out like a waterfall.
Yeah.
Niagara specifically.
Thank you.
Okay.
And so I thought he was at work.
And so I was naked.
It came home from school.
and I got naked
and it was so powerful
that just putting your penis
on it, right, would make you erect.
Yeah.
It felt very good, my friend.
Of course.
Yeah, yeah.
You're a young boy when you're doing this.
I'm 14 and, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
And I'm discovering sexuality.
Of course.
You know what I mean?
And there's tingly sensations
around there, as you know.
This is very common, I think,
for young girls to have together.
There are fewer stories.
There are few stories.
There are few stories of boys
getting their dick in a box.
Yeah, yeah.
And I want to share, right?
Yeah, yeah, I'm trying to share the other
perspective. Yeah, the other
gender also. And so
I got fully erect in there
and I would be able to just
have an orgasm just by
the strength of the
faucet water. And then
one day I hear a laugh.
And I turn around
and my dad had come home early
and we've
never, even before his death,
we never talked about it.
Yeah, I feel like that, yeah.
It was never mentioned, but there was definitely,
and my dad saw me with an erection,
and he goes, go, get up.
You know what I mean?
I took the fucking towel,
and I ran out of there,
and we never discussed it.
But anyway, back to the time.
Our guest, James McKeon, give him around.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm sure we all have a story like that
with the chair now.
Yeah, yeah.
Wait, yeah, let's go down the line.
Luke, do you have, when you, coming of age,
yeah.
I do have a story, actually.
I, should I say it?
Yeah, that's why he asked you.
Right.
Yeah, yeah.
Whoa, whoa.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
You're a sidekick, too?
Sidekicks don't talk to other sidekicks.
That was, I apologize.
I didn't mean that.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And I think just a side note, right,
your ego's getting in the way.
It's not my ego.
Luke is just my good friend.
I've known Luke for a long time.
I understand it, but just take the eagle away.
You're right, you're right.
I apologize.
Go ahead, Luke.
Sorry about that, Luke.
And I'm sorry as well.
No, there's no need to apologize, Luke.
Because you're your first time on the show.
Affirmative.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We're not on the Starship Enterprise.
Okay, sure.
I don't know what that way.
I don't know what affirmative means.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Great show, by the way.
Anyway, yes, go ahead.
It's not the character I thought you would not.
We'll move on.
We'll move on.
My neighbor, when we were in, like, he was in, like, fifth grade.
I was in, like, fourth grade or something.
He was a little older.
We watched Transformers together, the movie, Transformers movie, if you're aware.
Megan Fox, yeah.
And he said, hey, check this out.
If you Google Megan Fox naked, it actually comes up on Google.
Yeah.
So then every day we would go to his house and on his family computer,
Google, like Megan Fox naked and kind of just sit next to each other in law.
And then one day he had a housekeeper who like walked up the stairs and she saw us Googling it.
Yeah.
And we physically were, she was like trying to get to the computer.
We were physically like restraining her trying to get her away from it.
Yeah.
And she discovered it and told everyone's parents.
And it was only brought up at a barbecue once by the dads who said,
Hey, you know, I get it.
Honestly.
Good response.
Really good at, yeah, response.
Yeah, that makes it.
I think it's something that is just better on.
said.
Yeah, yeah.
If I was your father, I would never even bring it up.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, it wasn't my naked erect feelings, but yeah.
Similar kind of story.
You know, it's the same kind of embarrassment.
Yes, yeah.
There was an embarrassment there.
Yes, there was.
In Persia, I mean, in, I apologize.
Prince of Persia.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, where the dunes are.
Yeah.
I want to say it in a way where I'm not offensive.
It feels like, you know, where the barrens.
you mean of Dune.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How would you explain it?
You don't have to do this, Jim.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
In Palestine.
Yeah.
But I grew up here.
Oh, you grew up here in Orange County.
Yeah.
That's right.
So I don't even have to do anything.
Do you think this is a problem for the Persians in general
is that they're having a revolution, you know, they're trying.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But then all the people who looked good in bikinis
and like liberal democracy and the Shahs.
and this.
Yeah.
They already came here.
And they're having a nice time in San Diego.
Yeah.
Irvine.
Dancing.
And none of them are getting strapped and going back over.
I'm not saying they should.
But how long can you have, how long until the people in the country start to resemble
that which the regime would want?
Cuba, for example, gets rid of everybody with a little upward mobility, a sense of
themselves being able to do something.
Yeah.
So you actually finally get a communist population?
Yes.
I think the people, I mean, North Korea.
Do they actually love it?
You would know better than I.
What do you mean that?
I would know more about it.
Well, it's just been going on for so long.
Yeah, yeah.
And so many people with a personality type
who go, this is, I can't tolerate this anymore
I'm getting it.
But people who might love marching.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Would just over time, the population starts to resemble
what the regime wants them to be.
Yeah.
I know.
I always see that.
Well, that's a very interesting point there, right?
That when you're used to, you know what I mean,
being, it could make life easier.
Get through the first couple of years
of the revolution. Yeah, yeah. I think it's like, all right,
I have to go to this government job. Yeah. Right. I know I'm going to
eat the same meal. Same meal. Rice.
You know what I mean? Some sort of animal. You know what I mean? I don't know what
animals are up there. You know what I mean? Or some like black, you know what I mean?
Pigeon or something.
Yeah, I don't know what they have. I think you paused that black.
Yeah. No, I didn't. I said, I would,
trying to figure out what bird.
You know what I mean?
A yellow pigeon.
You know what I'm going to?
If that's going to be better for the, you know what I mean?
It will be.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Appreciate it.
And, you know, they know, weekends, right?
It's just going to be maybe a walk through a park.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And that's the, and when you're inundated with technology and Grand Tift Auto and Project
Hell Mary.
And, you know what I mean?
Zins.
And Zins.
And constant, you know what?
Celsius.
What?
Celsius energy drink or sugar-free red bowl like I drink, you know what I mean?
You know, et cetera, et cetera, you know what I mean?
The Shalamais.
You know what I mean?
The whole family is what I meant.
You know what I mean?
You're inundated with all this stuff, right?
Maybe it's a simpler life to just do, and then you have one wife because there's no porn.
Of course.
So you think that once she shows like even half a titty, right?
you're like, oh my God, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Right?
And it's like...
The pornography I do worry about.
What do you mean?
Do you think they have it in North Korea?
I mean, I read some story about like they went to fight in Ukraine or something to help the Russians.
And they got the internet for the first time.
The North Korea.
And yes, and then the internet kind of broke because they were just in such huge numbers.
Gone crazy.
That's what I heard.
That's very interesting.
And Moskil told me that.
Yeah, yeah.
Imagine being a North Korean soldier.
You're 24 years old.
You may never even seen a vagina in your life.
Just imagine.
No, no, no, no.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like what you're doing right now.
You're thinking.
Yeah.
Okay?
Put your eyes up in the sky and think.
Yeah, yeah.
Everyone think, right?
I imagine 24, never seen any anatomy of a female person.
Okay?
Then you go to the war.
Yes, there's bullets being shot at you.
Yes.
you're probably not eating a lot, right?
Sleeping conditions are bad,
but you get free Wi-Fi.
Okay, right?
And now, you know, I mean,
some, I don't know, can't do a Ukrainian accent,
but I'll try.
Please.
You need, you must.
Wait, wait.
Why do you buck?
I love, you must.
Look at the phone hub.
You know what?
This is what, it's a record playing backwards.
Yeah.
You must.
You must.
You know, I mean?
Check out the phone hub, right?
And then,
what is it?
Right?
That was a bitter.
Very good.
Right.
Right.
And they got,
and they got
Debbie,
Devon hub,
that,
whatever, right?
And then,
yeah.
And then they see everything.
Oh.
Imagine.
Two girls won cup.
They're looking at all.
The classics.
They look at the classics.
Yeah, yeah.
Debbie does Dallas.
Oh, 100.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
These upsets them.
Bangbus.
So North Korean soldiers get internet access in Ukraine,
cloaked on porn.
That's insane.
That's absolutely insane.
I'm actually kind of jealous of them.
Like, that they get to experience all that at once.
No, I'm not.
Because it gets taken away when they go home.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Have you seen the Egan?
He's a comedian who's in Japan at the moment?
Who's, have you seen the clip where he teaches everybody the word Guna?
Oh.
Have you seen this clip?
I'm friends with Egan.
You've seen that clip?
He's going to...
Stop, stop.
I don't know the word gooner.
So I'll tell you something.
Yes.
I'm an Arsenal fan.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
I know where this is going.
Right?
And they call Arsenal fans gooners.
Yeah.
And so my cat...
His name is...
Is Gooner.
Right.
Right.
So all I know is a gooner is a good thing.
Right?
But I think there's a different definition.
Yeah.
So, and I swear to God, I'm my mother's life.
She's still alive.
I don't know what the other definition is.
And I don't even know if I want to know.
No, let's move on.
Let's move on.
No, I want to know.
Go ahead.
I want to learn, and I'm learning today.
Go ahead.
I like this.
I think it's a young man who spends a lot of time masturbating
and thinking about what to masturbate.
Okay, no, no, it's way more than that.
Okay, I don't know.
It's a younger generation.
Is it not like, is it not doom-scrolling pornography?
That's, that can be considered.
modern gooning, but the original
What the heck are they doing now?
I like the history of
gooning. Real old school
gooning is when you have multiple
screens of porn
playing all the time. So you'll have a
goon cave. Similar to this, where we
are right now almost. This is not a gung cave.
It could be though. Why?
If you had a lot of pornography up
and instead of all these... He doesn't. I don't.
But if it did. Seems the operative
change.
Yeah, yeah. It's like a separate
room where you could create a museum if you had
Rambrandt and you know what
Picasso on the wall I mean like
you could go on and on
you know what the fuck you're talking about
this could be a bathroom if you put a toilet
yeah yeah yeah yeah
and yeah
you basically watch like a lot of multiple
screens and a lot of a high volume of pornography
for a long period of time so
with gooning comes like edging where you edging
yourself where you're masturbating yourself for
you know hours
what happened to just
coming. I know. How old are you?
Oh, 30-something, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you won't say that name.
Oh, I don't, actually, I don't know. 35, maybe 35. Okay, maybe 35.
Okay, good. 36, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. You really don't know.
I was born in 91, what's the year? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't care? It ceased to be
a huge part of my life, yeah. Yeah, I'm 54. Well, I don't know, I would be keeping track
then because you've been. Yeah, yeah. Every day's just. So I'm 54, and when you turn, once you turn 50,
you start counting the days.
When people die, you go, how old were they only died?
Yeah.
And then you go, how do they die?
And then you kind of like do the math.
Yeah.
Yeah, I mean, so I ultimately have maybe 22 years left.
I think you're going to live longer than that.
Unless AI technology catches up and helps me medically.
You know what I mean?
Has you a digestive system.
I just had a colonoscopy.
How is it?
No polyps, no cancer.
Come on.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
So I'm good on that
Okay
Yeah yeah
I don't know
I haven't checked my breast or my shoulder
Or anything like that
But you know what I don't know
You're relatively slim
Your knees you can make it up and down these hills
Okay you go for walks
Oh yeah yeah I can hill walk
Yeah yeah
I'm just discovering that now
Yeah yeah yeah I'm hill walking at the moment
Yeah yeah yeah
It's very special
It's really
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Okay, or not, or maybe it's something else.
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Terms apply.
It's really.
Like when you conquer a hill,
how does it feel?
I'd say that all these people would tell you
LA's gone to the dogs and blah, blah, blah.
Listen, Hollywood Hills are quite nice.
Oh, they are very nice.
They're pretty nice.
It is nice.
I really, short of that Charles Manson stuff and the threat of bushfires.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I see a lot of happy, rich, nice people.
Yeah, yes.
It's a very nice neighbor.
I don't know what's happening down in the plains, and I don't much care to.
I'm enjoying this.
When you say planes, what do you mean?
The greater flat.
Los Angeles flat.
Where those movies came.
Yeah.
You know, like color.
I didn't know.
It was called Skid Row.
It's called Skid Row.
It's called.
That's its real name.
Skid Row, yeah.
I thought there was a derogatory expression.
They actually called it.
Yeah.
Skid Row.
Yeah.
Have you been there?
No, I realized I came very close because it was at Union Station.
And then we went to a Chinatown, and I just missed it.
But I'd like to go.
There's a China town and a little Japan town there.
I saw Little Japan.
Yeah, yeah.
And I'll tell you what, I didn't say a lot of Mexicans.
I think they're lying.
I think they're lying.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But it, you know what it drives me crazy
and when people are like from out of the state,
look at L.A.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
It's in the dirt and they just show Skid Row.
And I'm like, yeah, I've never even been there.
Like I wouldn't even be able to even know,
like if somebody was like,
hey, let's go check out Skid Row.
I wouldn't people even tell them where to go really specifically.
It makes people feel really good to talk.
Not that there aren't things to talk down about L.A.,
but people would always tell me.
Malibu was on fire.
Yeah.
It's all been destroyed.
I went to Malibu.
Yeah.
Some things got destroyed.
It's still a really nice place to go.
It's a nice place to go.
They have a fish and chip shop there.
It was world class.
I bought the hoodie.
Yeah.
I rented a boogie board, a bodyboard.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know what that is.
I had a great time.
I'm from Southern California.
I know what bodyboarding are.
I love it.
You loved it.
Yeah.
Also, Sandy.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, you seem like,
and I don't want you to take offense to this.
You know what I mean?
I'd get ready.
No, I wouldn't get ready.
And it's not an offensive thing.
I think it's a good thing.
right but you look like a Peter Jackson White
like a creative
you know what I mean a really talented
I'm thinking about shaving it all off
no no no no don't
it might be time no no no no you look like a director
yeah I see you look like a director
you look like you're a very creative person
yeah you look like you're I've never met you before
yeah yeah yeah yeah you seem
introspective and you seem brighter than
Shane and bright
I see, I know it's about.
McCusker, and I believe, now I know.
That's why we, no, no, no, just in.
You know, they'll pop off, you'll start a war.
You'll make, you'll say something about Austin.
You'll make me defend Austin.
I know what I've been brought into now.
You start with a compliment.
Start with all positive.
Let's talk about the hot springs of Korea.
No, no, no war, no war, no war.
I love him.
I come here to say nice thing about Los Angeles.
I was kidding.
You're great.
You're a wonderful person.
You're a wonderful and very talented person.
That's all I'm trying to say.
I'm not starting a war.
I love all those guys.
I was kidding.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you know, I think that Gilles, now I get it.
Gillis, you and McCusker, you guys pod together.
We have potted.
You have potted together.
I've been on podcasts with them.
Are you a regular on that podcast?
I don't, I don't know, regular.
I've done it five or six times.
I've enjoyed doing it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I like doing it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
But, um, I would say,
I'm in that universe.
You're in that universe.
Matt and Shane's cinematic universe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
You're in the, if it was a Marvel.
Go ahead.
That's how this country, I've realized that's how this, it's all tribes and clans and it's very, it's interesting.
I'm very happy to be here.
You're blessed to be brought in.
Just Australia.
But it's very, everything is.
I see what you're saying.
I see what you're saying.
Everything is tri.
And there's this guy and that guy.
It's Marvel versus DC.
You know, it's, yes.
Yes.
It's, you know, in the NFL, they have, you know, coaching trees.
Yes.
I see this with people's openers.
Yes.
Oh, he's a soda guy.
That's part of the soda.
It's the soda lineage.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Crime families.
Crime families.
There's the Bur people and the Louis people.
They're not the same people.
They're not the same people.
I'm looking at me out.
I think it's all one big happy, no.
No, very discreet.
Yeah, but there are treasonous folk.
Absolutely.
Yeah, there's treaseless folk and there are also kings and emperors.
Yeah.
And there's also peasants, right?
And there's also, it's very games of thronesy, okay?
But at the end of the day, all hail to the king.
Yeah, absolutely.
Okay.
Who is?
You know.
Yeah, yeah.
All hail to the king for now.
Yeah.
Okay.
And so I'm just.
Bobby Huacbar.
No, no, no, no.
I'm just a little, you know what I mean?
I'm in charge of a little village.
Uh-huh.
I am, you know what I'm, you know, off the coast.
Off the coast.
You know what I mean?
I hear the rumblings, what happens in the kingdom, right?
But it's none of my business.
Yeah.
Okay.
And I know who's in play.
What?
You're in the hermit kingdom over here.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm in the hermit kingdom.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But I'm still a part of the royal class.
Okay.
And so are you?
I mean, how much of it comes down to a New York, L.A.
divide to begin with?
Because Austin is definitely a breakoff of the L.A. thing.
And New York thing, a little bit, too.
People have dribbled out of New York.
but overwhelmingly it's an L.A.
In the L.A., yeah.
Yeah, I mean, in Game of Thrones, have you seen the show?
Isn't it?
Yes, but it disappeared from a cultural imagination real quickly.
Not from Barbies.
Not from mine.
I talk about every week.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I still talk about Laura Norens.
What are you going to do?
What?
When is winter?
I thought that was going to be a big thing.
Yeah, oh, winter.
Yeah.
Everyone's saying winter's coming.
Oh, so you're saying the Austin people are the Whitewalkers.
It's not what I'm saying.
Is that what you're saying?
Essentially the homeless.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know where I would put them actually.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Might be dawn.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But there's three empires.
Yeah.
Do you think?
Well, I mean, what are we calling Nashville?
Is that the sort of, that's the sea people who drown each?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I think they are, because there are people there.
There are big names.
There are big names.
Big Nashville names.
But not a threat.
Yeah.
They have to join alliances?
Yeah.
Or they think.
Exactly.
Don't you think?
They couldn't stand on their own.
They can't stand on their own.
No, no, no.
They can't win the war.
Vanderbilt being their team is interesting, you know?
What does that mean?
Always sort of in the conversation, never going all the way.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know what Vanderbilt means.
Isn't that their college football team?
They all wear the V.
Yeah.
You see them.
Nate always with a V.
Theo, always with the V.
Oh, I see.
But it's all, I mean, I like Nashville a lot.
Yeah.
And they're doing it.
And why not?
Low tax.
Nice place to live.
Have you thought about moving there?
Really?
Me and Andrew have thought about moving to three different places.
Nashville is one of them.
Vegas is one of them.
I think Phoenix and then Nashville too.
So there's four.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
Like literally buying houses and moving out of L.A.
Can't see you in Nashville.
Why?
Just a race thing, I guess.
I don't know if there's a lot of Asians.
I don't know where you find these.
That's incredible.
I just didn't know.
On the boat again.
I'm fishing on the boat again.
What do you think of that?
Good.
I'm a rice boy, cowboy.
I like it.
I mean, I would be a hit.
You'd be a huge hit.
We got a big Asian population in Australia,
and we had, you know, we had Australian Idol.
You've got American Idol.
I know that's probably an American Idol, though.
They would have the goofy person,
the silly person
who's never really going to make it through.
Right, the William Hong.
It would be like a big,
yes, we had so many Asian people
who were making their dream come true.
Yeah, yeah.
Were they good?
No.
Some of them, some of them.
The first winner of the first season
was Guy Sebastian.
Yeah, yeah.
Asian fella.
But have you seen
Ken Lee, Libidibi Daochu?
Libidibid Dachu.
There's someone in, I think,
a Philippines version of it's like,
Ken Lee, Libidibi Daochu.
Ooh.
Yeah, I've seen that.
So beautiful.
But the Philippines, per capita, have the best singers.
Okay.
Sounds right.
The Welsh would be furious with that.
I know, but I'm telling you right now.
Have you seen...
Why?
They say eight Welsh people, and they're all Tom Jones.
Oh, that's right.
That's right.
Tom Jones is very time.
You think the Philippines, great singers.
The Philippines per capita are the most talented...
Gilbert, are the most talented people I've ever seen in my life.
It's just...
There's just no way to make it.
Sure.
Right?
Because it's so impoverished there in sections.
You know what I mean?
And I've been there many times.
I love the islands.
Yeah.
I'm one of them, if I may say.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, because I had sex with one for 10 years.
Sure.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, um...
That gets you cred.
That gives me a lot of credit.
You become one after that.
I know the smells.
I know what I know what I mean?
Textures.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Yeah.
Skin textures.
You know what I mean?
Food.
Exeter, et cetera, et cetera.
Okay
E-T, we just E-Ted it.
I love touch.
What?
I love touching.
But you say the most talented
in the world.
I would argue, yes.
Because I've been there
and every time I'm there,
I do the Bobby Lee talent show.
I've done it twice.
You get to do shows in the Philippines.
No, what I do is this.
I go, I'm in town
and I'm going to do a talent show.
Singing, dancing.
That's me.
That's in the Philippines.
That's in the Philippines.
It's a little piece.
What?
I don't know why you wears a full suit.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
The top-
Bobby Lee's talent extravaganza, right?
And I invite the whole island
to compete and every, it gets packed.
Yeah.
And people are doing all kinds, lighting themselves on fire.
What?
Yeah, yeah.
Crazy, the craziest acts you've ever seen.
What did they read?
Did you record it?
I do record them, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't put them online, but they're just for me.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You just watch them at home by yourself?
No, I just like to watch talent.
from all over the world, you know what I mean?
Because I'm a man of the people.
But you would only do it in the Philippines?
Yeah, I only do it in the Philippines.
Yeah, on one island, Cebu.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And they all come out and they, oh my God.
One guy took, put baby powder in his mouth and blew him and put shapes.
Oh, that's beautiful.
With baby powder, which I never thought you could even do.
You look so sad.
Yeah, because I'm sad when I'm there.
It's a lot of stress because I'm like, is anyone going to compete?
Is anyone coming?
Sure.
I take it personally.
And people cry when they lose.
Like teams.
Yeah, people like dance crews, they cry when they lose.
This is a show.
What do you mean?
This is a, that said, you gotta get that.
I taped it as a show.
I tried to pitch it and no one bought it.
What's so funny?
Oh, I don't know.
I don't know.
I think that's, people should have bought it.
Bobby, what do they win?
Stop, stop.
Sorry.
What the fuck do you?
me and dude. No, I'm...
Let's just say this, okay?
James, you know this.
You take a big risk.
You fly all the way over there. You
get the camera people.
You tape it. You cut it together.
And you go to all the networks.
Netflix, everyone, you pitch it.
And they all say no.
And I call that trying.
Yeah. You did a good... That's a good...
What the fuck have you ever done?
Okay.
That's what it's called.
Maybe a concert movie.
If you get that into a 90-minute version,
a concert movie.
A set out to Cannes.
South by Southwest, that might...
Really?
Maybe film it myself.
Yes.
Yeah.
You attach James as the director.
No, no, no.
Visually.
I see what you're saying.
It's not a skill that I have.
It's not a skill you have.
We'll find.
I mean, I think you do.
Just based on your look...
I worry...
Yeah, yeah, on your look.
I worry that you need a level of attentiveness to direct.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you like film?
Yes, I do.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I just found out that Quentin Tarantino has a cinema here.
Yeah, he does.
I just found out.
Yeah, he does have a cinema here.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And it's in Los Felas, right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Are we were just there?
Yeah, yeah.
There are so many Australians in Los Felas.
There are.
Beautiful jaccarranda tree.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, purple.
What's up with the didgerie do?
Thank you.
Thank you, Bob.
I've always, I've always wanted.
Women aren't to play it.
It makes them barren, apparently.
Oh, because of all the wind that you.
you must use out of your body to get that thing to...
I don't know the fine detail.
I know.
Wait, that's real good.
But I've never heard the Dizredu and went,
I'm going to start a band and have a guy be the Jack-I-B-that guy.
Oh, no, there's some good ones.
There's some good Dij tracks out there.
Oh, they're all right.
And that's why I wanted you on here.
Why?
Treaty, Yotho Yindy.
I think there's a Dij in that.
Gee, I'd hope so.
Yeah, yeah.
Sometimes when you're just...
It's Celtics.
It's a primal.
When it comes in...
Tell me how you feel.
A deep...
It's not used as much in Australia
because people get offended and whatever.
But I would think that...
Why would they get?
You know, they...
What?
No, I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know about the region.
Tell me.
Aboriginal people get very...
What are you doing with that?
Didgerid, do?
That sort of thing.
That's the adjid.
Oh, when the white people do the desiree.
Yeah.
Right?
Dizri do.
Yeah.
The aborigines get a...
Well, even saying Aborigine, people get mad at it.
What would I call that you then?
So, Aboriginal.
Aboriginal people.
Explain to me why that's, one's fine and one's not.
Yeah, yeah.
Can't do it.
Yeah, I don't know.
Yeah, I don't know either.
And something that, well, maybe chat GPT or something we could discover.
Yeah, I spent hours arguing with chat GPT about Aboriginal people.
You know.
Ow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Out.
Are you friends with any Aboriginal people?
Yes, I am.
Yeah, I bet you are.
Yeah, hello Craig.
Hello, Craig.
And others.
Lots of others.
Yeah, lots of others.
Yeah.
What's up with the Quaker?
Okay.
Only in Western Australia.
Yeah, I've seen it.
Yeah.
Alive.
What's up with it?
I've been to West Australia a lot of times.
I've never made it out to see Quaker.
I never went to the island.
That's insane.
I never did.
I went.
I went to the Quaker.
Oh, no, I went to the Quaker.
How was it?
And let me tell you about the Quaka.
Okay.
Cute.
I mean, that's, you know what a quaka is?
It's the part of the bird where they pee and poop out of the same hole.
I've never even heard that of that.
No, no, it's an animal.
Floaca.
Yeah.
That's a cloaca.
Okay.
Yeah, this is a quokka.
Yeah, cute.
Oh, okay, yeah.
You know?
Yeah, there's a resemblance there.
Of what?
It kind of looks like you, honestly.
It has your animal.
Wow.
That was bold that you said that.
I'm cute.
I'm sorry, yeah, no, it's cute.
Yeah, that's good.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, they love them over there.
Yeah, and I have to say,
out of all the creatures I've been on Earth,
that's my favorite one.
That's a good one.
Pretty beautiful.
Yeah.
It's unbelievable to me as an Australian
that you've not gone to the island
to see the most friendliest creature on planet Earth.
Everybody else always got to do it, but I would...
Pass.
The dates would never line up.
I'd be there for the fist when they go,
You know, on Sunday we're going out.
I go, I'm flying out Sunday morning.
Oh, so what part of Australia are you from?
I'm from Adelaide.
Oh, Adelaide.
Middle of the bottom.
We don't have a good concert hall for people.
I played it.
We had the entertainment center.
Yeah, we did that, I think.
It was acoustically rough.
It was rough.
No disrespect, but it's rough.
Yeah.
The The The Bedin Theater, which is 2000, that's the biggest best one we've got.
That's the one we did.
That's better.
Yeah, yeah.
But, boy, we could use this Hollywood bowl.
Yes.
We have a Hollywood Bowl.
But Greek, building into the hills, because we've got the hills.
I find the LA Hills are really reminded.
Then how did you start comedy?
In Adelaide.
Well, you didn't start out in the 2000.
You don't start out in the 2000.
You would know this about comedy.
You know this.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
But there are open mics, they're open mics.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But no, I was there for a while.
But is the scene in Adelaide, I'm sorry, because I don't know about it.
Please, please, yeah.
May I?
Yeah.
Okay, good.
What question?
Would you like to ask?
I would love to ask a question.
I would like to hear it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Is it as brutal as it is?
Because I know, did you start here?
I started in Orange County, but yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You started here.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's brutal.
The worst.
It's competitive.
There's no audiences.
No audiences.
A zillion comedians.
Brutal.
Yeah.
That's what I, because I started in San Diego for three years.
A little better, but still kind of brutal.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Is it brutal in Adelaide?
There's always room to play in a greater extent, I felt.
Then you could go out to the biggest cities,
but I found this about San Diego.
I thought this because I thought who, Derek Posten was from San Diego,
and the son of Mard was a San Diegoian.
Yeah.
And yourself.
And I thought for where it is geographically, that must be one of the best cedar cities in America for comedy.
Because you go off to L.A., you try and make it.
Yeah.
When it's hard in L.A., you know, rather than going, fuck it, I'm moving back to Ohio.
You just go, I'll go see Mum for the weekend.
Yeah, yeah.
Drive down to San Diego.
Yeah.
Yeah.
A little swim.
Well, I'll try again next time.
Yeah.
There's not a make it.
You can just go back.
Hang out, catch the train.
Beautiful train.
Yeah, beautiful.
Beautiful.
Beautiful train.
And, um,
it's a beautiful.
Adelaide was good.
We got a big fringe festival.
So that was nice.
There was a lot of stage time during the festival.
Yeah, yeah.
And then difficult the rest of the year to get everybody else in.
But yeah,
yeah.
I think it suffers from the same thing that every, you know,
million to two million city gets with a comedy scene is it gets really,
really, really good.
Uh,
there's like 15, 20 people who are doing great.
They all go.
And then it's fucking,
And crashes.
But then there's a new generation.
There's a new generation.
But now with the internet, you know, people aren't doing the comedy circuit as much.
Wow.
They just go and they do that.
Well, they bring their own openness, you know.
It used to be a thing.
They would do.
A guy come to town and everyone would get to open for them.
Oh, wow.
Well, I mean, I'm a part of that problem.
I don't like working with the people from.
I don't really want.
My problem with it is that, you know, I want, you know what I mean, like-minded openers.
Okay.
So I bring this fucking guy.
Thank you.
And I bring.
Appreciate it.
Cat Bird.
I brought him once, right?
Yeah.
So it's like, I know them, I can hang out with them.
Yeah.
Because what happens, because I was at a point for like maybe 12 years
where I couldn't afford to bring an opener.
So that I'd have to go to a town and there'd be two locals opening for me.
And that's when, you know what I mean, it wasn't that fun because sometimes you'll just
have a guy.
Like this one MC I was in Houston and his first line to me was.
I think I've said this before.
His first line to me was,
yo,
I'm not guys tell you,
like,
interesting,
okay.
Yeah,
we got the yo.
This is what he said,
but he's not necessarily
what you think he is.
Okay.
God.
He's a yo mate.
Hey,
what's out?
What's out?
I go,
what's going on?
He's like,
yeah,
yeah.
I'd be like,
I'll be like,
I'll be like,
I'm a headliner.
I go, oh, you're a headliner.
Yeah, but I don't know why I'm open for you.
That's crazy.
That's his opening line.
And I go, oh, well, then why did you do it?
Time's tough.
You know what I mean?
You go, but I'm a headliner.
I go, well, what do I care?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
Just do the host, right?
He does 40 minutes up front.
And it's all the dirtiest jokes ever, right?
So then after the show, I came up to him and I go,
yo, what's up, man?
Because, you know, I'm...
Yeah, regular.
You know, whatever. You know what I mean?
He's like, what, what?
I go, I mean, you're supposed to do 10, 15 minutes up front.
And it's a little too dirty.
And he got, ah, right?
And I go, second show, he goes dirtier, and he does longer.
Ooh.
No.
This is Friday night, right?
At the end of the second show, I walk right up to him, I go, you're fired.
Yeah.
And he couldn't believe it.
He couldn't believe it?
No, he couldn't, no, because it's like, at that time, I wasn't a name.
I was kind of climbing up.
Sure.
You know what I mean?
But still, I just went up to the manager.
I go, I can't have a host doing, you know what I mean?
Dirty jokes, you know, 40 minutes up front.
And that man was Patrice.
No, no, no, no, no.
If it was Patrice, I would go, you close.
Yeah, yeah.
I'll open and I'll do 10 minutes.
You know what are you talking about?
You know what I mean?
You're a legend.
You know what I mean?
This guy had...
It's insane.
No, it's insane.
It's insane.
Because also they give you the most senior guy in the town.
Yeah, yeah.
What you want is not the guy who's been doing 15 years.
It's full of hate and despair.
You want someone coming up who's going to do something else with their life.
But they don't give it to that guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Here's the...
You guys don't know this particular, but I think James and I know, right?
Is that in every city, in every town,
there are people that have been doing comedy
for 20 plus years
and they never moved
right and these are the ones
that open for you
right and there's a bitterness
yeah right
like I shouldn't be here
I don't give a fuck about this
you know what I mean
I there's they I had one guy
introduced me as Billy Lee
like he didn't even bother
to memorize my name
yeah man
Billy Lee
A lot of yoga
A lot of yoga
Every guy yo
What do you mean?
It's a through line
It seems like
No
I'm sorry
Let me do it again
Do a British accent
Hello
Oh
Nice audience
Please welcome
Bobolai
You know what I mean
Is that better?
Yeah yeah
Yeah and then I come out
Oh no I said Bobby
Yeah.
Please welcome Bella Lai.
Right?
And then I have to go up on stage
my name is Bobby.
It's not good when they're...
It's not good.
It's not good.
Already you're in the weeds.
Yeah.
When you have to say, my name is actually Bob in that life.
You're already in the weeds.
You're fucked.
You're fucked.
Yeah, yeah.
Over and over again.
Over and over again.
Yeah, so now we bring our own.
You bring your own.
I try and also, I find it very lonely on the road.
God, God bless you.
Yeah.
It's nice to have people.
They're with me to keep it going.
But I think a lot, the other thing that dooms people is they actually make good money doing comedy these people who've done it for 20 years because they've got all the local corporates stitched up.
They do all the Christmas parties.
They do work functions.
No?
Not here.
I agree.
I agree, but I'm shaking my head and I'll tell you why.
But keep calling.
No, tell me.
No, no, keep going.
He has a philosophical disagreement, I believe.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Keep going.
I'm a Bobby...
But I must now know.
I understand that.
You didn't finish your thought, though.
Turn over.
Don't over.
Start over.
There's a sense of entitlement that people have.
Yes, yes.
Yeah.
But no.
And they're making big money from doing comedy.
I always thought, I always wanted to get on the cruise ships.
I always wanted to be on the cruise ships.
I always wanted...
Because I was this part, until quite late in the career.
I was like 15, 16 years in.
I was just in my little town.
I tried moving away.
I had to keep moving back over and over again.
And still, I did, I did like,
One Christmas party and it went so badly, I never got another one.
They still gave me the money, but the cheapest chips would never book me again.
I'll tell you.
I was shaking my head.
I'll tell you why.
Okay.
Thanks.
If I may.
If I may, okay.
When I started, they were like, yeah, you got to clean up your act.
You know what I mean?
You got to do jokes that, like, are more, you know what I mean?
Meat and potatoes, right?
You got to, you know, like about driving or, you know what I mean?
Dating.
What's going on?
the airplanes, you know what I mean?
And you have to dress better
because I used to dress like this
and messed up hair, you know what I mean?
Fucked off. I would say really crazy
shit on stage. Wouldn't get a laugh
necessarily, but it was just like really
nut shit, you know what I mean? Yeah. And people
would go, you're never going to get corporate
gigs, you're never going to be on cruise ships,
you're never going to do the road, you're never
going to make it with that act.
And I always thought, said, but I'm being myself.
Yeah. You know what I mean?
And I, you know, because you have to
do a lot of like, you have to pretend that you're a comedian more than finding your own point
of view and being essentially yourself, right? So you kind of have to like clean up your act.
Where's a specific thing, right? To only talk about things that everyone, you know what I mean,
will relate to. And I think that hinders comedy. So yes, there's corporate comics in these towns
that like if a convention comes through,
but their jokes are very generic
about family or
very generic jokes about
driving and the freeway.
Around that town.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
They have local references.
And it's, I don't think
that that's what comedy's about.
Yeah.
I think comedy is about like you.
I've never seen anyone that looks like you.
I've never seen anyone like you.
I've never seen anyone do comedy
like you, right?
You are who you are.
Okay? And I think
I was the same way. So that's why I've never
done a corporate.
Your whole career, you never did one corporate case?
I think I did one and they lit me right away.
You know what I mean? And they were like,
get them off. You know what I mean? It was like
one of those things. And I, you know,
I did maybe seven colleges and they're like, no, he's too wild
for the kids. I could see that. Yeah, yeah. I would do crazy shit.
You know what I mean? Just running around.
The whole thing, you know, yeah, and they'd be like, no, no, no, no.
You know, part of you still goes,
I'd like to do well for these people.
Excuse me?
One still wants to do well for these people.
Yes.
But I would try and do it and I would realize I didn't have the,
I did a gig for a supermarket company on their special golf day.
And I, you know, it was their special golf day.
They said, get up to 10 minutes.
Would it be a special golf day?
They all went out and played golf with the people who supplied the supermarket.
Oh, go, oh, it's special, yeah, yeah.
Special golf day.
And they said, here's the comedian.
I think I used the word three times in the first four minutes.
Are you on a golf?
course. They had come in from the golf course.
So watch me say something about someone getting
right today. What the fuck am I doing?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying.
It's all the lights are wrong.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The lights are on, people are eating.
It's not the right environment. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's a nightmare. You know what I mean? So what I would say
to a young man like this, how long have you been in
a new comedy? Four and a half years.
Four and a half years. We're still developing
you would say.
Yes, yeah. Still developing.
Are you, yeah, I say it.
Yeah, yeah. You know, it's so funny from afar.
Sometimes you look Asian.
I've gotten that a lot.
Yeah, right now.
Yeah, yeah, like right now.
People say it. I have squinty eyes, if I may I say.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah, squinty eyes.
I mean, you're dating a Korean.
Yes.
Yeah, an Asian person.
Wayian, yeah.
Yeah. She's half.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Are you afraid of full?
Oh, afraid of full Asian?
Capital A Asian.
No.
I'm not afraid, no.
Okay, good.
Just a fair question.
Yeah, no.
And fair answer.
No fear.
Yeah, yeah.
Koreans have maybe the least Asian archetypal personality.
What do you mean?
There is, there is...
I agree.
I think of Christopher Shin from Earth.
I think of other Koreans, I've met my time.
Yeah.
There is masculinity.
and just a constant threat of violence.
In a very American way.
I think they call this,
Haighting.
Haiting.
Haiting.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Very, lives large in the...
You know, of all the Asiatic regions,
gender politics, maybe the worst there.
Women are not happy to be submissive,
and they take themselves out of the sex market,
and the birth rate is, I think, the worst in the world.
In South Korea, yeah.
South Korea, there's something in Korea
that is really, people think of Japan as being the most alien and, like, interested,
but boy, there's something happening with Korea.
I'll tell you a interesting thing, if I may.
Please.
Okay.
Even other Asians don't like me.
Yeah, of other Asian regions, they find me to be, what's the word, unfavorable?
Yeah, unpalatable?
Unpalabable.
I can't say the word.
But I agree.
You agree.
Well, I mean, I've seen it.
You've talked about it.
I don't agree.
But I know what you're talking about.
I have a similar thing.
I mean, you know, there was, I don't want to, you know, I've been potting for a long time.
So sometimes I reiterate certain stories.
Yeah.
I had this famous Asian actor once, pull me aside at the comedy store.
And he goes, let me talk.
He had an accent.
Yeah.
Let me talk to you outside.
And I go, okay.
You go, oh, you're a disgrace.
And I go, what are you?
mean is like
every
call to Asia
everybody
and I go
why
all the thing
you say
and I go
what the fuck
you say
talk about
you f***
back up
you know
because I
get
that's really
the sort of
thing
he might
have had
in a
problem
I think
oh you
that was
I think
I started
I started out
with
Ronnie Ching
I love
him
great
yes
but
suit
dignity
yeah
tonight
show
yes
um
I've
been reading the news. Yes.
I was in a, you know, it's very, I have my law degree.
Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm, if I was back in the day, right, I would be, you know what I mean, with the
you know what I mean? The coolie? Yeah, just shuffling through a village, you know what I mean, right? Yeah.
Dropping it all, right? And then probably in some well, you know what I mean? Like, I would.
Dirty face.
Really dirty,
yeah, yeah.
I would, like, maybe have some sort of
slight leprosy.
You know what I mean?
Right, right?
People would call me the town, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I think that I'm one of the,
when I was a kid,
I never wanted to do comedy
until I saw Margaret Cho on HBO.
And she's Korean.
And I'd seen other Asians,
you know, like Johnny Yun or other people,
to my Yotsuki and stuff like that.
But back in the day,
she was the first person
I was like
oh I think maybe I can do comedy
because she's Korean
and you can tell she's Korean
because she can
she goes to the edges
of things
you know what I mean?
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And I thought
oh you could go to that edge of things
and I think then
oh maybe I can
because when you're watching
just a Seinfeld
growing up as a Korean boy
you're like oh there's no way
I could do that
because he's in a suit
he's talking about you know what?
What's up with that?
You know what I mean?
I'm like, I don't even understand.
Yeah, yeah, but then, you know, you need, you know,
I think Koreans, especially in comedy,
are a little wilder, I think.
Yeah.
I think so.
Like, La Hans Kim, for instance,
is an extreme example of that,
of just something wrong.
Yeah, yeah.
There's something wrong with us.
And I think it's the Japanese oppression
of 50 years.
Yeah.
You mean, we were tortured and pillaged
and, you know, I mean,
destroyed.
you know what I mean
and we
my parent
generation
lived through that
and they
it's generational trauma
and it's just
the way we are
we're you know what I mean
we're really into revenge
there's something
happening before then though
because in the medieval era
those hats
the Korean hats
no no tell me about the hats
you know about the Korean
no I don't know about Korean
they call it the kingdom of hats
you've never seen
the hats
of medieval Korea
I'm watching a TV show again
called
and they're wearing these large hats.
Maybe the hats are unbelievable.
Unbelievable hats.
Something important that, no, I mean, get up all of the,
there was a show about, was this is it the zombie show?
Yeah, the kingdom.
The hats!
Hats!
That's what I was talking about.
That's what I went from that, I saw that show and I went,
look at these hats!
And I went back, it's a whole tradition of these hats.
And clothing.
Yeah.
They were really into linen, and I'm going to tell you this right now.
It's fucking prana shit, dude.
We were into stuff.
style.
Yeah, yeah.
You know what I mean?
We were into like, you mean, check me out.
Yeah.
You know what I mean?
And it's like, everything is just like clean, good lines.
Very Balenciaga.
Yeah.
If you really think about it.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Look at that, dude.
Look at that one on the right.
Look at all the different styles.
Different styles of hats.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And they're also clever because they're see-through.
What, the top not?
They breathe.
So it breathed.
We were already into.
technology. Yeah, breathable fabric. Yeah, and breathable fabric before anyone else. Margaret Chow thing
you said is interesting, though, because it was sort of like, there was a last moment that there was
kind of a left-wing, progressive, edgy punk rock that got absorbed at some point into a mainstream.
Yeah. But it's like her and Patton Oswald were getting around like Jim Goad and all the weird,
edgy, sort of proto-fascist, straight, like violent. Kill yourself. Kill other people. Yeah,
and you go, that's really going to.
People got the dirt bag lift.
Dirtbag left. Dirtbag left had nothing on.
Yeah. Early Margaret Cho.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What a moment. Yeah. I witnessed. I witnessed the tail end of that. Yeah. You know what I mean. I was molded by it. And why did that go away? Because I wasn't there for it at all.
I think you were molded by it too as well. I,
I watch your comedy and I think you're molded by it.
I would say, so Vice Magazine had started up by the time I was in my teen years.
And that was really big.
And I know that was born of that.
They're taking that ethos as well.
And Gavin is a big Jim Godd person.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
There's some through line there.
And the hipster thing was huge in Australia.
We love, it was like, oh, yeah, yeah, have a little,
we can be countercultural and have a nice little meal.
Right around on my bicycle.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
casual sex and the bookstore.
It's great.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it dies.
Your generation killed something.
What happened?
No.
I mean, you're wearing...
It's very unfortunate.
Let's just look at your clothing.
It's sick.
Yeah, it is sick.
Yeah, but it's like there's not you specifically, right?
Okay, it felt like it was for a moment when you said, look at your clothing.
I mean, yeah, it felt directed at me.
I guess I misunderstood.
You wearing corduroyd trousers?
Yeah, bro.
These are J. Crew.
But in Los, in this heat.
I know. See how defensive he is too.
I like that.
Yeah, me, Jake Crew.
Go for it.
Go for it.
Go for it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm wearing seersucker and linen.
I planned ahead for Los Angeles.
I'm loving it.
Yeah, yeah.
I love it.
This is style.
Yeah, suck on.
Yeah, suck on it, dude.
You're a great.
Yeah, you're a great guy. He's a great guy.
You're a great guy. We can tell you're a great guy.
Four years in, a heady time.
It's a heady time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. You feel that you're still struggling?
Yeah. A lot. Yeah. Are you a door person?
Where are you, where do you adore person? That comedy store.
What a great place to be a door person. It really is.
I've only been there about four times. I went in there the other night. Yeah. Oh, my good.
What was, did you go up? I just watched from the back. I was, I couldn't get on this one.
Oh, yeah. This was that Kanye was there.
Oh.
Who was that?
Kanye West.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
I have a slippers.
Those slippers are dope.
Yeah.
Let's move on.
Yeah, yeah, let's move on.
It was a night of many star.
Chris Rock, I heard.
Chris Rock was there.
Yeah.
Pell was there.
Shane was there.
Louis was there.
Wow.
It was a, I was with my friend Fuzzy.
Yeah.
He's never been to California before,
and he'd never been in the store before.
He's walking around going,
is it like this every single night?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's not.
Yeah.
Because mostly the nights are me.
It's usually you.
Bobby, you're the guys.
It's me, Santino, Whitney Cummings.
Ali Wong.
Nikki Glazer, Ali Wong is pretty much the regular nights.
Yeah.
But during Netflix week, which is this week, is everyone.
That's why I'm like, I was going to take this week off.
But they're like, you want a spot?
And I'm like, I have to do it.
I think I think I have to do it.
Because I'm going to the house for the first time tomorrow.
Do you hear about the house?
No?
Ted Sarandoz has a lunch.
Okay.
I know about this only because I saw Hannah Gadsby in the picture one year,
where she was a couple of years ago,
she came along and she's right in the corner,
and Chappelle's way over there.
Yeah, yeah.
Let me about, because Hannah's from your region.
Hannah started out in my city.
She's a Tasmanian, but she started comedy.
Are you friends with her?
We've never really hung out.
I'll be honest.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She was doing much better than me in Australia when I was there.
I went to emcee at a gig she did.
Yeah.
And I didn't do a very good job.
Yeah.
And I think I was offensive.
And anyway, so we'll go out.
No disrespect.
Yeah, yeah.
No disrespect either.
Great club comic.
Don't know her.
Great club comic.
Yeah.
Not known for that work.
People give me a fucking, people give me a look, but I'll stand up for it.
She was a really strong club comic with tight, punchy bits.
I like her.
And then she did.
No, no, over here.
I know.
Yeah, but he's anti-everything.
Yeah, yeah.
He's like a red bar.
People don't want to hear it.
I don't know who that is.
In the wild.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Red Power is a guy who...
No, I don't have any...
Okay, let's move out.
All right, let's move out.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
There she is.
Where?
In the corner, no one's...
Is that her?
That's her.
And then Chappelle...
That's them, sorry?
That's Hannah.
Yeah, Hannah.
Yeah, look at happy Chappelle's here.
Yeah, yeah.
So every year, they have this famous lunch, right?
And I'm finally in a...
The Asians, you would say.
You don't get any outsized Asian attendance at your shows?
You must.
No, he does.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, in San Francisco, yeah.
Yeah.
I mean, but you know, when I play the Midwest where they, we've never had an Asian,
or there are no Asians in the town.
Yeah.
What can I do?
Can I just filled with whites?
If you showed up to a show and the entire audience was Asian, would that feel good or weird to you?
Oh, it would be great.
You'd like that.
Okay.
Oh, no.
You know, because when Dumbfounded did that outside, you know, all Asian festival, and that was a surprise.
It was a huge reaction.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I mean, I know where I belong in the history and the annals of, you know, me, history of Asian comedy.
Yeah, okay.
Okay.
I understand.
You know, I think the whites have it harder.
Uh, no.
No, me, accent, accented whites.
We have a, oh, fuck, yeah.
You have that.
No, Ari Maddie and I have like a, like a hot knife through butter.
We can do it quite well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Can you do an American accent?
Yes.
See, they love it.
Yeah, do it.
Oh, I turn it on and off, though.
I'll, during the show, I try and I try to bounce it out.
I'll give you, I'll go, sure, you know.
But can I give you a line?
Forking my car at the car part.
Porking lot.
Sorry, parking lot.
What do you want me to say?
I'll try to go, I can do Midwest.
All right.
Read the, this is your book?
What's this book here?
My struggle
But whose book is it?
It's my, I brought it in.
Why?
Alex Cameron's just good.
No, I'm just reading it.
I do have books.
Can you read?
Can you say this book?
My struggle, Carl Ove
in an American accent?
My struggle, book one,
Carl Ove.
That's not great.
I can do this one's much easier for
personally I found it
not especially difficult.
Yeah.
Can you teach me how to do an Australian accent?
Uh, fucking dog, dog.
Dog.
Now give me a sentence.
Yeah, you fucking dog.
You fucking dog.
And even then the T, Americans really pronounce the, if it's an R at the end or a T that pronounce it, we just, we just, we just in.
Car.
It's like Bostonian.
It's a little.
I have a.
It's a little south side Chicago.
I have a dreaming.
Or whatever.
That's very good.
That's a very funny bit.
That's a very funny bit.
As a sketch.
Yeah, yeah.
You think so?
Well, with the dreaming is.
the aboriginal do you think this is a bit because I thought about it what if what if
Koreans had like an MLK you know what I mean he did a speech like that with an accent
and so I have a dreaming right the white people do the old laundry
do you think that would work as a bit or no sure yeah give it a guy yeah yeah yeah I
I have a bit about Koreans that I've not managed to get off the ground can it
can you can you workshop it here well
It's that from the outside, the stereotype is like, you know, these Koreans, they like the anime.
The black people, they like the fried chicken.
Yeah.
But now I'm here, it's like, my God, I mean, the Koreans love the fucking fried chicken.
Black people love anime.
That's the whole observation.
I think that it is a very, it's a very accurate observation.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I believe how much black people love anime.
Yeah, they love it.
And Koreans with a fried chicken.
Black people love back in the day Kung Fu Chinese movies.
Man, I, and I, and I.
I wish that Liquid Swords, I don't know if you know the song Liquid Swords.
It's all these Wu-Tang songs.
They've got 90 seconds at the start of some odd Chinese, you know.
Yeah, they love it.
I fight you and the samurai came for my father.
Yeah, yeah.
And I knew, ooh-hoo, weird noises happen.
Yeah, yeah.
Finally we get to the song.
Liquid Swords is the big one where it's just 90 seconds of piffle and screaming.
Yeah, but they, it's a heavy, the Asian culture is heavily influenced, you know what I mean?
Yeah.
You mean, certain sex.
It's macho, macho with the black.
thing, it's a fighting. What's a macho?
Macho, I mean, kung fu movies.
I was reading about this, I think, the
what's macho? What's macho?
Kung fu movies, very macho, and black people.
Wait, wait. Black people have a
macho culture. Kung Fu is a
macho thing? Like macho.
He's a macho. What's macho men?
Like tough. Oh, macho.
Oh, macho man! Yeah. Yeah.
I want to be a macho man.
It's actually not a very much. And then Trump comes out?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Weird choice, YMCA and Macho Man.
Yeah, like the worst.
Maybe that's the only rights he can get?
Is that what it is?
Maybe.
He ends on candle in the wind.
I always thought that was beautiful.
He has, after his speeches?
He finishes the speeches.
They play candle in the wind.
Wow.
That's why there's that clip of him coming off stage and they go,
Ruth Bader Ginsburg died and it's candle in the wind playing.
You seen this clip?
No, that's.
Oh, it's the greatest.
If I'm ever to explain it to me. Explain it to me.
He, they go, it's, and it seems to me in the distance.
And he comes over and he goes, what?
And someone goes, goodbye to the Gensberg.
It's my first time hearing that.
You're telling me that for the first time.
Wow.
She lived an incredible life.
And then he walks up the steps.
He salutes everybody.
It's candle in the wind and the fucking flags going.
Wow.
It's like cinema.
It's perfect cinema.
Perfect.
Has anyone else seen it?
I've never seen it before.
Yeah, yeah, I've never seen it before.
Oh, it's right.
Yeah, yeah, I love it already.
It's peak.
But describing is better than seeing it.
Maybe.
Yeah, yeah, don't know, look it up.
Especially from an Australian.
From an Australian thing, yeah.
As an Australian.
I'll cry, I'll cry thinking about it.
You live here now, though, right?
In Austin.
I was living in Austin.
I moved back to Australia now.
I'm just doing a tour.
We had a fourth child.
It was hard thing.
Oh, okay.
Congratulations.
We'll figure it out.
Congratulations.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
How do Australians feel about Americans right now because of the global conflict?
Yeah.
Can I, is that uncomfortable?
No, no.
We're not a political show.
No, no.
People are afraid to come.
Most Australians feel odd coming.
Yeah.
Because I have a tour in Australia in August.
Yep.
I'm going to Australia.
Woo!
I'm going down under.
Yeah, there you are.
Yeah, yeah.
Shemba.
Yeah.
Okay.
And I am, right, going to sell out every show.
Uh-huh.
Yeah!
And it's gonna be great.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And Jay, you're gonna open for women in Adelaide?
I think I might be film, I'm actually directing a movie in August.
Would you come one day early?
Would you come one day early?
Are you really?
Will you come and be, I can only give, I can't necessarily pay you, it's a very lot budget.
Yeah, you're directing a movie.
That's so wild.
I'm not a director.
I don't think it's going to work.
No, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
You fucking lying piece of shit.
I was quite careful with how I worded everything.
No, no, no.
No, no.
It's crazy, dude.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, that's you, dude.
Right?
And what I'm saying to you is this.
I already said in the beginning of the show that you look like a director.
Then you completely denied it.
Like you didn't want anything to do with that.
I played it down.
I didn't.
And then now it's like, can you fly in a day early to do my movie?
So I can be in your movie.
I'll give you a good role in the movie.
You would?
Maybe.
Yeah.
Great role.
Powerful role.
Okay.
Are you really directing a movie?
I'll send you the script.
No, you don't have to send me the script.
I'll do it anyway.
All right, done.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'll do it anyway.
But what I'm saying is, yes, I'm doing it anyway.
Nice.
Oh, so you are going to Australia.
Woo-hoo!
Go to Australia.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We'll be in the movie?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Here's the way back.
You ready?
What?
Here we go.
The cruise.
We're going to get on one of these two-week cruises.
And get haunt a virus?
Yeah.
Come on.
I'm pure number one.
I want to hunt a virus guy.
Brisbane to Hawaii.
Yeah.
How long does that take?
Two weeks?
Three weeks? One month.
You sit on the deck, you drink the drink the thing.
Go over the swim.
And then you get off in Hawaii.
So now I fly back with a sweet American jet fuel.
Oh.
A three-week trip to Australia through a cruise.
And then a beautiful trip.
That's six days then.
You can get booked on the cruise, $2,000, $3,000.
Get a free room.
No, I'm not doing that.
Probably will pay that to not do that.
Yeah, I'll pay not to it before.
So you're saying three weeks one way to Australia.
No, no, I fly in.
Fly in.
You've got American fuel to bring you in.
Oh, I fly into Australia.
And you ship out.
And you ship out three weeks.
Wouldn't that be nice?
It would be nice.
Go to Australia.
I'm in Hawaii.
Stay a couple of days.
Yeah.
The problem is I'm playing Hawaii in September.
What if that works?
Well, just September.
Hell of a lot.
Hello.
Could work?
What if that did work?
He's in the blue room?
Blue Lagoon?
What's it called?
Hawaii Theater.
No, the bigger one.
Yeah, it's a different one.
I'm doing a bigger one, yeah.
I've always wanted to do Hawaii.
Blue note?
What the fuck?
I said Blue Note.
What about Tony Hinscliff?
That's the best I could imagine for myself.
You're playing Rainbow Warrior Stadium.
It's five to five.
I'll text them tomorrow.
I want to go to Hawaii.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I've never been.
Oh, you got to go.
You got to go.
It seems to perfect.
I got all these kids
and we've got to keep going back and forward.
Yeah, yeah.
What a nice place to get to stop
and take a little.
You got to go, dude.
I took him.
Yeah, you got to go with Bobby.
Yeah.
It's a different Hawaii.
It's a different Hawaii with me.
It's different.
Yeah, we go to Omaha.
I know what a little great spots are.
A lot of laying out,
a lot of beach fun.
You know what I mean?
I'm looking forward to.
Yeah, yeah.
I feel like you're recognized
everywhere you go,
I have a whole big
Hawaiian band. People go crazy for you.
I don't know crazy, but it's like
I'm a local. Yes, you are. You support a
Hawaii independence. I do. Yeah.
Yeah, and I was, you know, I
was on a show called Magnum P.I.,
which was shot in Hawaii. So I
worked a lot out there. Yeah.
And as an actor.
And so I don't lose
the job.
It would be an honor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It would be an honor
to have you in the picture. And
can't pay you rights.
I'll do it for free, did.
I do movies and television for nothing
because it doesn't do much
no one's going to see a movie
but anyway
maybe so
it's hard to get off the ground
but I would
do it for free and the movie does get off the ground
you'll come with us to the Cannes Film Festival
you'll have a wonderful time
and not only that
how about this as a promise right
I'll do that small role for you
for free
but if it becomes a huge movie
no no no no no
yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Or I won't do it.
How big is a huge movie?
All right, so if you do this movie, right, and it becomes...
I should have just moved on.
No, no, no, no, no.
Like an Academy Award-winning movie, right?
Yes.
You'll get another movie.
Yeah.
A bigger movie, right?
Yep.
I get a part in that movie.
I can accept these terms.
Okay, okay.
Yeah.
Pending your performance...
No, no, no, no, no.
You shook first.
All right.
A part.
Not one line.
Not one line.
No, no, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no background.
Not one one.
No, we know, we, no, we, I feel, I have a significant role in the big Hollywood one.
Yes.
Because I've been in this boat before.
You know that I have.
Yeah, I've been, literally, I've been on this boat before.
Get screwed.
Where I get screwed where they're like, you know what I mean, do the short, right?
You're the star, right?
And then all of a sudden, we got funding for the movie.
we're going to get Keanu Reeves.
Right?
And then you're like, oh, I got fucked.
You know what I mean?
Have you ever been in the Marvel Cinematic Universe?
I have not.
This might be time.
Are you directing?
You think I could call Warner Bros.?
Hey, can I play Wolverine?
I think that there are enough people in there
that if you just start putting that out.
Who knows what will happen?
Well, I have auditioned for Star Wars and Marvel Project.
But not as a superhero, as like a scientist or something.
or a clerk at a hotel
like oh my god
Spider-Man
mine's like that
I helped you with Shang Chi
yeah you help me with Shang Chi
yeah yeah
I was going to say Shang Shi
you didn't land anything
in crazy rich Asians
oh it's everyone
that's awesome
all right
all right
I don't know
I don't know
I was tracking
that movie from
inception to casting
yeah
and when we called
and said
can Bobby Lee audition
they go
he's never going to get
it. So thanks for bringing that up again. You piece of shit. You might have truly crazy.
I would have put you. Ken Jung got it. I would have put you. Anyway, um, did you have fun today?
He did blackface. Well, he did? Yeah, everybody knows that. No. Let me see. Oh, in that
episode of, let me see. In that episode of community that got cut where he's a dark elf.
You may have just won your graces back with Bobby. Can I say this is so funny though? Yes, send it.
itself.
That's not a black friend.
He's an elf.
Yeah, it's like a threat.
Now, find mine.
You have one?
The George Foreman, the George Foreman one?
Oh, yeah.
Did it George Foreman?
I play George Foreman's son.
Is that all mine?
Yeah, I think bad friends
has it.
I know who you did this.
Is it on Matt TV?
Yeah.
Oh, no.
You're not going to be able to find it.
Give me some time.
Okay.
Anyway, well, we're done.
Yeah.
Here's some of his dates.
Oh, yeah, so your dates are once you're...
All these shows.
Get on down.
Well, is there a site that they can go to?
The James Donald Forbes McCann Catamaran Plan.
Out now, all digital platforms.
Spotify.
Delicious little juice.
They hit single out now.
Okay.
Four books of poem.
Got four books.
Wow, four books.
Give James Aradu applause, everybody.
Thank for having me.
I really...
That was so fun.
Thank you for having me.
L'louli,
I'm cable lull
