TigerBelly - Jay Chandrasekhar & Steve Lemme and The Patrick Swayze Escape Signal

Episode Date: August 26, 2026

We are joined by Broken Lizard creators Jay Chandrasekhar and Steve Lemme to talk about Super Troopers 3. We chat Jay’s full name, “Fatty,” Ohio radio stations, legendary skid marks, Steve's Patrick Swayze fail, Crystal the Monkey, Gallagher’s identity-stealing twin, mustache real estate, and why Jay refuses to trust the residents of Hobbiton.Go to www.helixsleep.com/TIGERBELLY for 20% Off Sitewide Download the app today and use code TIGERBELLY to get $150 instantly in Lineups if you win your first $5 Lineup. PrizePicks. America’s No. 1 Sports Picks App.New customers can use code BELLY to get 15% off at www.takeultra.com See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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Oh, my gosh. Yeah. I crashed and burned with Patrick Swayze. Oh, no. punching just right here, boom. And I said to his assistant, I'm like, is he going to hit me? And he goes, I've seen it before.

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No. There was a time. See? That was the Britney Spears time. That's what I said. Yeah, yeah. Michael Jackson. The hair burning?

The hair burning? That's the pivotal moment. Yeah. Smoking crack hair? Yeah, that's, yeah. That's crack hair. Yeah. Cindy Crawford.

Jay Changachashar. Wait a minute. You did it sound Filipino from some That was your big attempt? Did I add? Well, there's a G in it. It felt like you didn't even try. Yeah, it didn't feel like that.

Oh, give me a go and then I'll give me, I'll give me, I'll give it a shot. Chandra Seikar. That was so off, brother. You know what? That was so off. I know, I was off. See it one more time, please? Why?

Because he distracted. Yeah, yeah, yes, he distracted me, dude. Chandra Seikar. Chandra Sehkar. Yeah, that's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good. Give him the whole name. Giant Jumbalingam Chandra Saker.

Whoa. Which translates to victorious, large penis, rising moon. Oh, rising moves. Wow. I heard elephant in there. There was no elephant in there. Anyway. Victoria?

You have a big penis, too, Steve. Yeah, sorry. I'm good. Your penis is fine, okay? Thank you. Victorian large penis. Victorious. Oh, victorious.

I thought you were talking about a Victorian person. These are very important guess. Can you get it right? Sorry. Oh, okay. There's no G in my name, but I... Thank you. Did I do a G the second time?

Changa Shaka, yeah, I mean it was... Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm Korean. That's right. Yeah, and I'm North Korean, and that's accent sticks. You guys add G's where they're not. We do. Make noises.

I go, I go, I go, I go, you know. I had a... I lived in Korea Town for a while. What'd you say? I lived in Korea Town. I don't like the way you say Korea, yeah. Nobody does. Yeah, yeah.

Nobody does. But are you purposely doing that? I can't shake it. Yeah, yeah. I know, Korea. I say Korea. Yeah, it's aggressive. It's Korea?

Yeah, it's Korea. Yeah, Korea. Yeah, Korea. But that sounds like I'm like Swat, like Korea. Yeah, it's, I think it's pretty dead on. Okay. Yeah. Do you say Korea is weird? Korea.

Okay. Korea. Oh, that's fine. Korea town. Let's move on. Let's move on. You're in Korea town. Korea town.

Yeah. And what happened? Did you go get some Korean barbecue? Often. Often. What's your favorite? You have time? Top three?

Oh. Korean restaurants? Are you asking him? I'm having the Koreatown conversation. I wouldn't move on. I'm curious. You look past it. I just, I guess.

Sorry, Steve, sorry, Steve. Let's go back, let's go back. Can you not tell us support? What? I already have an answer. Number one is Parks Barbecue. Wow. That's a good one.

Yeah, have you been there, see? Number two is Lee's barbecue? No. Is that right? No, it's not. Lees. Number two in LA. Choson probably would be in there.

Yeah. Have you been to Chosan? Yeah. Really good place. Sure. Sukbul Jeep, old school. You know about that one? Yeah.

Yeah. Open call. Sorry, Steve. I leave you out. Yeah, you left me out. Yeah. Wait, you have resentment? All right.

Do you have a resentment? No, I'm good. Okay. You know, I apologize. Why would you, a resentment, how? Like, why would that be? I'm not resentful of this conversation. I didn't know.

What I was saying is that I did cut you off. I went to Jay. It's a very Korean thing to do. Wow. Hobart. Yeah. That's comedy 101. Yeah, yeah.

How long have you guys known each other? Since I was 19 and he was 18. Whoa. College, college friends. College. Sketch group? We did. We started a sketch group.

What was it called? Chard Goosebeak. Wow. One of your uncles. No, forget this. Do you remember what the name of our very first? show was. Jolly Joe Tripphammer hits it big. No.

And that might have been New York City. I don't know. The 19th annual festival of donkeys. That's right. Wow. That's right. And you guys did sketches or mostly improv? Sketches with videos in between the sketches.

But like really shoddy videos. Like we would do like a master take and somebody would forget their lines and somebody would bump the other person with their elbow and we'd use that take. I love that. Well, we didn't shoot any close-ups.

We didn't know about those yet. Oh, wow. So what year was that? 1989. Great year. Wow. 1989, dude. That was very close to the time Pepsi would overtake COVID.

Yes. That's correct. So, 1989. High school or? College. College. What college were you? Colgate University.

Okay, cool. In New York, right? Yeah. Upstate New York. Don't be nervous. You're doing great. Are you nervous? I'm not nervous talking to you.

I'm nervous when Bobby looks at me. He's like, don't fuck up, don't fuck up. No, not. I'm supportive of you. I'm your foundation. But here's the interesting. I've met Bobby so many times. This is the loudest I've ever heard Bobby.

And maybe it's because he's in my right ear, but like. Right now I'm the loudest? It is quite loud. Yeah, your voice is. No, not the headphones. It's you. It's you. I'm being quite loud.

I'm talking about the headphones. Control it, man. I don't have headphones on. Yeah, why aren't you wearing them? Because I don't need them. It's really a good point. You can leave him wherever you look. But I was, you know, I was watching Troy this weekend.

And Brian Cox, who's King Agamemnon, who's also in our Super Troopers movies, I was marveling at his voice control, as strong as voices. And I'm wondering right now if you've been taking voice lessons because your voice is hitting the back wall. No, I just have no control. I'm not a theater kid, I have no control

of my voice, to be honest with you. Okay, but this is how I have always remembered your voice. So I was always quiet like this. Gentle. Oh, you think, it's gentle, you think. Yeah. Thank you so much. You're welcome.

Yeah, yeah. Did you always thought my voice was gentle, Jay? I never thought about your voice. Like, ever. No. I certainly didn't have an opinion that you were a, gentle voice guy.

Did you think that my voice was harsh in any kind of way? No, but when I got here, I'm like, his voice is a little harsh. Now I do have a little opinion of that. A little loud in the headphones, but now it's great. Yeah, thank you. So now this is fine, right? That's great. I'll probably call him after this, and we'll spend like 60 seconds on your voice.

What do you mean? I'd be like, he was loud. Yeah, a little loud. A little loud. Yeah. Well, I mean, let me just say something. Okay. Let me just say something right now.

Okay. This is that, I don't think it was that loud. It's still loud. It's getting a little loud. You've been it before. Am I being louder than I normally am? Well, now that they're calling you out on being loud, it is getting a little bit.

Yeah, it's getting progressively loud. It's getting progressively. Okay, so I'm an actor. Yeah. Right? And I can take a note. I'm going to go less. You don't have to.

I want to. I'm not giving you a note. You're a good actor, in fact. We work together in animal hospital. Animal practice. Animal practice. It's fine. Thank you.

Animal practice. I was direct. directing Bobby in that show. Did he take notes well? Very well. And I said to him, I said to him, you're actually a good actor. And he said, yeah, okay. Actually?

And he said, you are acting surprised. And I said, I am surprised, Bob. Really? Well, I'm like, you never know. You think I got the show? You know how many auditions you have to do to get a show like that? How many? One. I just tested. I tested.

Oh, they made you an offer? No, I tested, and then, you know, between me, I don't know who was. Where's Bobby? On the right. Oh, there he is. There's the dog. Oh, yeah. And the monkey.

Remember the monkey? Did you direct an episode with the monkey? Oh, yeah. Yeah. The monkey became the sort of the star of the show. Yeah, Crystal. Yeah. The hangover monkey.

That's right. And did Crystal do tricks like chug beer or anything like that? No, but she would crawl up your shoulder and give you a little. a kiss on the cheek. She could do that. Yeah. Yeah. Because when we made beer

fest, we had a monkey that could chug a beer. Same monkey? Oh, good point. Yeah. It was the same monkey. Same monkey. Yeah.

I think I recall it's the same monkey. Do you remember ever talking to the trainer for Crystal? Yeah. So the trainer told me that Crystal sleeps in his bed with him.

And Crystal and the trainer's wife will sleep on the other side, but Crystal will ignore the wife because Crystal believes she's the wife. It's a call back to Michael Jackson. She doesn't like the wife.

Wow. Wow. I did not know that. That's the way he can control her by having her be his wife. Wow. His words, not mine. I remember talking to him saying, how much does Crystal get paid? And I was astounded by it. More than you? But, no, I mean, but it was close.

It was pretty close. But treated better. than... Yeah, he had a better... Yeah, she had a... Whatever. Better hours. Better hours, bigger dressing room.

The whole thing. She also hit her marks and did exactly what I wanted to do every single time. That's not true. Unlike you, Bobby. Okay, let me just say something, okay?

I remember, I think maybe you directed it where she was a close-up on me. Yeah. Right? And I got, had a lot of lines, but she's moving her head, fucking it up. Yeah.

Am I allowed to get mad at that point? No. Why not? Can't get mad at a monkey? Yes, you can. It's a woman monkey. What good is it going to do? Yeah, that's true.

Yeah. What's the matter, Steve? True. Nothing. I'm trying to think of something funny to say, and I... Dead air and blank stairs are perfect. You guys right now are promoting the movie, right? Yes.

A lot? Super troopers three. Woo! It looks like there's some big shots in there. It's a big movie. Big movie. Big shots, yeah. Big actors, you mean?

Or big, just big looking? I'm just in terms of big looking. Big looking, yeah. It looks great. Big shot. We have a car jump. A couple car jumps. Car jumps.

That's awesome. Fights. Fights? Big jokes. Big jokes. What type of cars are in there? Mustangs and electric cars and, you know. Okay, stars.

Give me some stars in it. Brian Cox. Huge. Chase Crawford from the boys. Hmm. Hey. Mm-hmm. Hannah Simone.

from New Girl. Raised the roof on that one. Yeah. Who else? Did I leave you anybody? Yeah. Well, let's see. There's Lisa Gilroy, who is the... Oh, she's been on this. Fabulous. One of the most fabulous.

You had now awarded the hottest up-and-coming... She certainly is. In the Montreal Comedy Festival. Yeah. We love her. John Rudnicki. Yeah. Nat Faxon. Yes. Yeah.

Academy Award winning, Nat Faxon. Is this the trailer? Awesome. That's the guy from Gossip. girl, right? Oh, Chase Crawford. Oh, and Andrew Dismukes from S&L. Yes. We have so many that we can't remember. Or the push pause. I don't want to watch the trailer when you're listening to this now,

all right? So this looks like it got a bigger budget than the other ones. Is that true or no? A little bit, yeah. Yeah. I remember watching the trailer going, this really looks good. Yeah. Yeah, it's the car chases and the car, I mean, they're good jokes. Yeah, yeah. It's a good trailer. Hey, man. I know every one of your guys's movie has great jokes. Thank you. Thanks. You guys are like a mainstay, a juggernaut.

We're a joke machine. Yeah. Jay calls himself the hit factory. No. Yeah. No. Have you heard my middle name? Yeah, what is it?

Jumbalingam. Jumbaling. Does that mean hit factory? Oh, that meant Victoria. You don't remember that victorious large penis rising moon? Yes, I do now. Okay, now we're back. Bobby, you need to be a better listener.

You need to be a better listener. You know, I'll be honest with you. Sometimes I'm not good at it. Okay. Yeah, I have ADHD. I think about other things. I also want to, like, I don't want to think, like, I don't want to feel like we're drowning.

Right. You know what I mean? So I have that pressure. Like, am I, are we doing well? Sure. So you're just like, how do I keep this thing going? How do I keep this thing going? I don't.

I'm like that, yeah. Yeah. The movie is out, right? So you're probably the tail end of promotions here. We just finished, I think, four weeks on the, road of promotion. This is actually my last promotional obligation. This right here, Tiger Belly. No. Yeah. So I want to make it great. I want to make it. You were crushing so far.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So this is it. This is it. This is it. The load. For him, I have one more. Oh. What do you? What are you doing? Yeah, what are you doing? Sex, drugs and rock and roll podcast out of New York City. Oh, you're going to fly there? No. Okay. I'm going to do it from my living room. Now, do you get to do all those things. Why is it called that? Sex drugs and rock and roll. Yeah. I've done a fair bit of that.

All right. Dude, this guy's a ledge, bra. Victorious penis. Yeah, that's right. Okay. That's right. Did I know you back in the day? How long?

20 plus years. I met you on animal control. What's it called? You don't practice. Animal practice. Yeah, yeah. I met you then, which was at Paramount. 2013.

2013. Yeah, much of it. Yeah. Helix sleep for your back. I love it. You guys, I have three bedrooms at home. I use Helix because I only use the best for my body when I sleep. And sleep is the most important thing of the part of the day, I think.

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You know how I know this is because I didn't work until 2000, like it went from 2008, I believe. Matt TV. Yeah, and then 2013, that was my first job. Oh, my God. That one? Animal practice. Like real like, oh,

I can, you know, series regular, you know. Yeah. That's awesome. But it was a five years of like, ah, what? What's going on here? Yeah. You've been there, right? I have been there. And you and I met in those what's going on years.

Yeah. You were on the road. I think it was either like a St. Louis or a Kansas City, and you were in studio on the radio. And Kevin Heffern and I came in to do in studio on the radio for our shows. And you took off your clothes. What? What do you mean? Yeah, I know.

No, no, I didn't. Yeah, I know. The DJ dared you to... No, no, no, no. What? Bobby, you just answered the door today, shirtless. That is true. I know. I know, but that's not on camera.

Okay. It's like my home, right? So it's like I want to greet my guests like, hey, welcome, relax. Right. You want a hot dog? Well, you weren't on camera here. This was the radio, and that was what was so

Interesting. The DJ dared you to get naked and you did, you got totally naked. Did he dare him or was he already naked? No, he dared him and he, and then Bobby said, okay, and undressed in front of us to the, to the, now, if without the dare, it would been weird. If you had just gotten naked. Yeah, yeah, that would have been weird. No, the dare made it okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, I did, and you are already naked. Yeah. Yeah, but no, but then you got, then the three of us. Did we laugh? Yeah, we had a great time. Or was it weird? It was weird, but we laughed.

Okay, good. Because Kevin and I stayed fully clothed and you were standing there buck naked and the three of us, we each had a microphone. Oh, yeah. Was I completely naked? Completely, yes. Oh, wow. I apologize to you. How long was he naked for?

The whole time. But like how many minutes? I'm going to say like 20 or 30. No. Yeah. Really? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Yeah.

30 minutes. With the air conditioning in those studios, really? Yeah. There was a white couch I don't know It was in Ohio There was a white couch A leather couch

That they had to cut out And they framed it Because I sat on that couch But I had left a brown streak on it Okay So that makes sense Yeah that makes sense And they framed it?

They framed it, yeah That's very cool It's a little disgusting But you know Oh they framed the skid Sorry Jay I'm back Welcome to the show

Wow Tiger Belly Wow Yeah, episode what? 500, something, something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you keeping your clothes on these days? Yeah, I don't do it.

I'm not, what? Nothing. What do you? No, you keep them on. You keep the clothes on. She opens for me. So sometimes I, sometimes. Yeah.

Sometimes you go out there naked. No, I don't, you don't, you don't never open with it. It's a closer. It's a closer. Everyone knows. Yeah, yeah, you got to close with it. Close with the butt. Yeah, go ahead.

It's like the watermelon. You know, like you don't start with smashing the watermelon. I see. Yeah. Did you know. Gallagher? I did not. Nor did I know his brother.

Do you know who Gallagher is? Whoa. Jake, will you explain to who Gallagher is? Gallagher was a late 80s prop comic who used a sledgehammer to smash things on stage and he would close with the watermelon. Mortzal. Go ahead.

And sometimes I think multiple watermelons. I thought we're playing a game, sorry. Oh, okay. Let's play. No, keep going with a multiple, you're right. Oh, yes, yeah. No, well, here he is, here he is. Look at this.

This is a great show right here. Look at this. You guys are on top of this. You recognize that guy. I do recognize that guy. There's a sledgehammer. And he has a twin brother, right? Yeah.

Who then started doing his act on the road. Oh, what? Yes. He did the sledgehammer too? But without his consent. Without his consent. So did his act without his consent? Did he also go by Galilee?

Yeah. Gallagher. Gala. Yeah. Yeah. He. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, he, you know, I do have to say, out of all the legends, he just wasn't the nicest.

Gallagher. You mean the guy with the sledgehammer? The nicest of all the legends? Yeah. I've tried, like, I've seen him at the comedy store before. Yeah. And I'm like, I've like mustered up like, just give it another go. Yeah.

You know what I mean? You love watermelon. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I love the fruit.

Yeah. Yeah. And. every time I walk up to him it's just like standoffish weird and then I'm trying to get out you know

like oh I fucked up you know what I mean and it's like because I'm you know he's a legend yeah yeah but you were a huge fan of his or something is that yeah no no

there was some judgment yeah yeah well why would you go back a second time after he disappointed you at first sometimes you gotta try again yeah sometimes you gotta try again have you done that right

yeah of course you Even if you... Even if you don't admire him? He missed that. He just smashed. It's okay. It happened fast. Oh, here comes.

Okay, go ahead. What happened? Yeah, well, look, sometimes, you know... Whoa. And then he just leaked. I think it's a natural thing to... Like, you meet the person. If you crash and burn, it's a natural thing to want a second crack at them.

Right. Yeah. But it is possible that it can go sideways again. For whatever charisma they had or intimidation they had that fucked you up in the first place does get you the second time to it can happen so do you is one time enough and then you're done uh like if i'm a dick one time is it over that's it that's it that's it one time sometimes it's intimidating though like if someone's a really big jerk to you you probably don't want to go up to them the second time because you're like they hate me i know but sometimes you're like

maybe give it a go yeah even if i don't admire them yeah that's the part that's the part That's the part I'm bumping. Yeah, yeah, yeah, even though. See, I think it depends on the situation. You know, like I crashed and burned with Patrick Swayze. Oh, no. This was right when we had come out here. This is probably like 99 or something like that.

And, you know, I was brought over there to say hi to him by a girl who actually produced Super Troopers, who said, I know you're a huge, huge fan. she brought me over to meet him. He was with his wife and like his reps. And she said, we have a real Patrick Swayze fan in the mix here. And he was like, really? And I was like, oh, yeah, yeah.

And then everybody was like looking at us. Like to try, like proud parents. Like they wanted to see what was going to happen. And I did do something brazen. I said, hey, Patrick, let's go talk over here. Whoa. And I pulled him away from his group. And I got him to like a nice,

like Japanese lantern and there we were. And I was looking into those steel blue-gray eyes of his. I was like, holy fuck, it's Patrick. Swayze. What have I been? Yeah. And I could feel myself locking up.

Oh, wow. And all I was able to say was, so what kind of a name is Swayze? Oh, he did a bit? And he was like, no. No. He said, it's British. And I was like, oh, I didn't

realize British names had Z's in them. And he was like, oh. And then I was like, tell me about young blood. No, no, no. Oh, no. And he goes, what do you want to know? And I was like, anything. Please don't. Just get me out of here.

You felt like you were drowning. I was drowned. At that point in time, he told me a story. But I did catch, like, subtly like a little, like, twitch in his hand. and all of a sudden Matt Dillon walked over and said, excuse me, Bub, and got between us with his back to me.

He called you Bob? Bub. And I realized that Swayze had given a little signal. Oh, sign. Like the signal. I got the signal. Oh, my God. And so, and I realized after a couple minutes, I was like, it's fucking over for me.

And I walked away. But, okay, so then we make Super Troopers. Yeah. And like, we know going into the Sunday and film festival that, Stuff Magazine was going to sponsor a party for us. And then our publicist, or what our producer comes running in, he's like, guess who's publicist just called to have them put on the guestist for the party?

I was like, pieceways? He goes, fucking Patrick Swayzee. Peace Waze. Wow, peaceways. And so I knew I was going to get a second crack at him. Oh, so. Okay, but here we go. You're back.

You have the confidence. Right. But this isn't him being a dick, which I think is, if the guy's a dick, I'm not going for a fucking double dick. Okay, okay. Yeah, yeah. But if I fucked up, I was like, I'm going to conquer this. Yeah, okay, good.

And so sure enough, he shows up at our party. We've played, Super Trooper says played. He shows up at the party. And I see him across the party. I'm like, my heart's pounding. And he's looking around, looking around, and he sees me and he does a double take. And I'm like, and he walks right up to me. And he's like, have we met before?

And I was like, no, we have not. And he's like, I swear we've met. We've definitely met. I'm like, no, no, no. We haven't. Wow. And he's like, oh, no, the movie, Super Troopers. I just watched it.

But you had a mustache in that. You don't have it. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it. Oh, wow. And so then we were on and we had some, we all partied with them. We had drinks. We had laughs. And it was all fun.

And that night, I had the time of my life. Wow. Yeah. But can I say something? He doesn't even remember that. No, exactly. Yeah. Exactly.

You just had to. Do you think he remembers that? He's dead. He's dead. He's dead. Oh, that's right. Yeah. Yeah.

He doesn't remember. Yeah. He did pass. Sorry. I'm a little off today. I'm so sorry. Am I off? No.

Okay. Patrick Swayzey is dead. Our movie is already out in theater. Yes. And his name is Victoria's Big Cock. We're going to talk about it. No, it's not that I want to talk about it. You just said, is it going to come out soon?

Yeah. And it's already out. It's already out, guys. So let me ask you this question, okay? You don't have to talk about it now. Yeah. I was just mentioning it. Well, since the boats going there.

Okay. I've known Jay's, I know, I've known Jay, for 30 plus years. He's a little mad at you right now. I can tell. About what? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What?

Is it the voice? Oh, go with it? Yeah, go. Oh, no, are you really mad at me? No. Because we're, it's animal practice, that's why. Yeah, animal hospital. I work on animal.

Animal thing. Control. And practice. I work on all the animals. Because I want you to, if you had a resentment toward me, I would like you to say it. Yeah. Just remember, he said it out of the blue.

So he may be trying to throw his own resentment back at me. The source is right here. Because as we know, I'm very resentful today. This is your last thing. This is it. Oh, no, I'm happy. I'm happy. Yeah, you got to be happy. You're going to shave that mustache? I am going to. I was going to shave it before. My wife was like, why don't you just complete the press

and then shave it? Or maybe shave half. That could be fun. I mean, I'll tell you what. Shaving a mustache like this is actually always delightful. Is it really? Why did... Yeah, but you look good with it on. Thank you. Thank you. Doesn't it look good with it on? Yeah. Do you have a big upper lip?

Huge. Go on, go on. Huge. What? Oh, yeah, it's huge, yeah. It is? Because sometimes I was seeing a guy who had a mustache and then he shaved it off.

He had no upper lip. Well, that's always the illusion anyway. It's like when you shave the mustache, it's going to, my face is going to look like a cat mouth. It's going to look weird. Yeah. But you're right on the money with that because like the most impressive mustaches in history,

like Sam Elliott and Tom Selleck and Wilford Brimley. I forget him. Bobby Lee. And Bobby. They have a lot of upper lip from nose to lip is prime real estate. Like Sam Elliott, I saw him without his mustache. It was like two and a half inches. Wow.

From here to here. So all that becomes mustache when they grow it. That's amazing. Is it really? I think so. Yeah. I do. You look like you come from a hairy folk.

I do. Yeah. You're right. He does. I look at all that space. I played golf in Canada recently. And the guy I was playing. with. I'm like, does this dude have a Hitler mustache?

And I'm talking to him, and he was a Republican from California. I'm like, okay, maybe. But then he was so nice to me, and we're playing with two Koreans. And I was like, he's got a Hitler mustache. And then I realized that what had happened is that the hair out of his nose had grown down to here. Oh, wow. Yeah.

He just didn't have anybody at home to help him out. And I was like, this is... Wow. And who am I to say, hey, bro, you got a Hitler mustache there? Yeah. So you never said anything? No. Oh.

No. I thought it was too funny to leave a woman. Yeah. Did he put product in it? Like, what? Yeah, I mean... No, I don't think he intentionally made it look a certain way, but it was exactly in this section. It was exactly.

I know a lot of Asians, they can't grow hair here. Say they do a reverse hair. Hitler and they leave just the outside. They only have the outside and then they have a bunch of empty space here. Yeah. Which I don't know if I like it. Yeah, whether you like it or not, it's not associated with a

Holocaust, right? So it's okay. It's fine. That's true. That's true. Reverse Hitler's fine. It's a good point. Yeah, yeah. It's a really good point. Yeah. So is there going to be a fourth movie? I hope so. We'll see. We'll mean, And when you did the second movie, we were like, oh, that was it in your mind?

No, no, I think we already knew we were going to do a third. And would you do the third? Would we do the third? No, when did you do the third? Oh, it's out right now. I know, okay, I know. October of last year. October last year.

But what was the years between the second and the third? Eight years. That's what I know. That's what I want. I'm not a good journalist. Yeah, all right. Eight years. You're doing great.

Do you think so? Yeah. Thank you. I've been doing fucking 11 years on this thing. It's a great podcast. Why do you, you look to these two guys you pay to tell you you're doing great? Is that the dynamic here, Bobby? I need it sometimes.

Don't you need it? I don't know if he likes me all the time. I love you. What are you talking about? Really? Yeah, why would you do this podcast all the time if I didn't, you know, you're in my house, you know, I trust you. I know. You guys have a good balance.

We'll be good balance. We try. Also, you know, we're going to, where are we going tomorrow? Today. Oh, yeah, today. Where are we going today? Australia. Australia.

You're leaving to Jay? For real? Yeah, like in an hour of. We're leaving soon. Yeah, yeah. What? Okay, where are you doing shows? Yeah, we're going to go Sydney, Brisbane.

Melbourne? Yeah. Gold Coast? Yeah, all the four. Adelaide? I don't know. We don't know. We don't know.

I'm going to do four and then we come back. And then we go to New Zealand, too. We do New Zealand. Do you guys? I'm not doing the Hobbit. I'm not doing the Hobbit. No. Why not?

they asked you and you said no the movie oh do the movie the Hobbit no I would fucking do for free what are you talking about it? I was I like you can take a tour he wants to see yeah I'm not

because sometimes you bring openers on the road and they're like we want to do all these things I'm not doing it yeah I'm not fucking doing it you want to go see the Hobbit I just get excited about different things when we go traveling sure I get excited for that's natural curiosity

and by the way I'm all for that thank you yeah It's good to, like, I think it's good to sometimes do the tourist things. Because those things are going to be, it's a greatest hit. You're looking at greatest hits of the city or the state. Send us a picture from the Hobbit Tour.

Yeah. But you both have children, right? Yeah. Yeah. I think through their eyes, you're whimsical in that way, but I don't have any children. So there's no lens of being whimsical. This doesn't look exciting to you? Look at this.

Hobbit. It's the two hour, I have to drive two hours to get there. All the chairs will be a little smaller. This is like one of his favorite movies, Lord of the Rings. Yeah, I do love them, but it's like, you know. You could put a skid mark on one of those three? God. They would frame it, and Bobby Lee's skidmark.

Maybe, yeah. I mean, if there was, like, Mines and Warrior, or, you know what I mean? We also had Mount Doom. Well, how do you, are those things not there? Is it just... It's just Hobbiton. Okay. Wait, you don't know about the world?

No, no, I do. I have a book with the map of the whole thing, Mordor and all that. I'm just not familiar with what exists in New Zealand. So you're telling me that Mordor is not part of this tour? I've got some complex. I wouldn't go to this thing either, by the way. But it's for an entirely different reason, which is I don't really like Hobbits. Ah.

I don't buy it. I don't buy anybody's that innocent. Oh, snap. I like that take. Yeah, that's a really good take. When I saw the movie, I'm like, yeah. They also smoking weed? What's that all about?

That's pretty sweet. Hobbit? Oh, that's good. Yeah, yeah. They're all high. They're all high. They're all high. They drink a lot.

They party. They like to fuck. Oh, they're fuck machines. They eat lots of food. Yeah, a lot of bread. Like second breakfast and all that. Second breakfast. Yeah.

Apple. Apple's second breakfast. Yeah. Their diet's a little boring. It's very, you know, it's like it's... Potatoes, carrots. It's like a very UK. It's very UK, yeah, yeah.

Diet. vegetables. Yeah, root vegetables. Yeah, that's not cool. They're not risk takers. No. Yeah, they're scared. I mean, that's, I mean.

Well, that's why the story's so great. I mean, what's his name, Bilbo? What's his name? Frodo, Frodo. Frodo and, yeah. Yeah, he took on. Samwise Gamgee. Sam got the fool of a toque.

Right, isn't that what Gandalf called? Exactly, dude. Bobby's just really impressed by your dog. Yeah, I really, you really brought me back just now. We should go to Hobbiton. You should come with us. I, I, I. I don't know about visiting Hobbiton.

I would do all the other things. I really would. I'd do all the other things. But Hobbiton to me was always the least interesting place. Oh, you've been there before. No, I saw the movie. Oh, that's not. Well, I mean, although, you know, that's where they're getting high and getting drunk and fucking.

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You just saw all the houses from the outside. No little chairs? No, no, no. But now apparently they have done the interior. Oh, they got the money. Still not going. Even if your parents, I mean, your kids were like, Daddy, Daddy, please. No, they can. How old are you? Yeah, I don't know how old is.

20 and 21. Maybe he's still doing it. They can go if they want to. Yeah. Will you go alone? I'll go alone, yeah. Why not? Will you feel bad if she goes alone?

No, absolutely not. Because, you know, her life is our own. Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I know that came out weird. Can I get that line again? Yeah, one more time. Yeah.

Ask me, give me the line. Will you, what was the name? Will you, will you care of? if she goes alone. Will you care if she goes alone? Nah. Her life is wrong. Fuck.

Her life is her own. Do it again. You wrote the line. Exactly like every day on animal plants. Animal planet. I'm like, cut. Give me another shot.

Can we bring the line in for him? Crystal, take his line. Yeah, give me the line, please. Okay. Do you care if she goes alone? No. Her life is her own. Wow.

The wow was fantastic. Are you going to keep all three takes in there? Yeah. I'm going to send all three. You should. Yeah. Is it hard to watch tapes?

No, I mean, it's, it's, it's, you ultimately mostly just zip through them. Once there's a mistake, you zip through it. We don't watch all the slow ass forgetting, forgetting of lines and all, not that you did. You didn't do that. What I'm asking is that when you do audition people for to be in the movie is right. Oh, oh, those things. Yeah. You left that part out.

Yeah. You said is it hard to watch tapes? Tapes. Oh, tapes. Cips of other people. Audition tapes. Audition ones. Yeah, am I not being clear?

No, I don't, you're not being clear. I thought what you meant was, is it hard to watch, like, because he was asking if you're going to keep all three. Yeah. If you were saying, do you, when you watch different takes, do you watch them, is it hard? Yeah, is it hard to watch all the takes tapes of a scene? I thought maybe you just used. I think there was a big jump from, I had no.

All the way to watch. Is it hard to watch auditions? No, I mean, is that what you want to know? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Did it so eloquently that?

As soon as you see somebody, you're like, yes, no, maybe, and then you kind of just watch a little, and then if they're no, you'd just jump. Right. Yeah. Isn't it hard when there's a friend in there? You watch that one. Oh.

Yeah. But in room? Yeah. I think it's harder for them. I think it's harder for your friend to come in, because it's sort of like the crashing and burning thing. Like, when we've had friends come in and read for us, I think all of a sudden they feel immense pressure.

Because we're just judging them. Yeah. It's hard. Yeah. Yeah. For them. Yeah. Like, if you guys called me in, I'd be nervous.

Yeah. We already have the parts. Yeah. You already have. What a week here? Yeah. Yeah. I'm in.

Do you kind of like, do you feign, like, interest or do you just keep a straight face? I'm actually interested. Yeah? Yeah. So you're like, your friend goes in and does okay? I smile a lot, I laugh. And everybody leaves the room thinks they have the part. That's the criticism of me.

They're like, man, I really thought I got it. Yeah, yeah. It's you then. Your reaction's too good. Yeah. No, you have to be like stern. But then he loses a friendship maybe, right? Well, you know, they talk about the Saturday Night Live audition and how nobody laughs.

I don't know if that's true. I never auditioned for it, but I don't think that's the right way to make a comedian feel good. Yeah, it's counterproductive. You want a nice warm room. Yeah. And it's hard to, you know, exude that in a tape now, right? Yeah. To connect in that one?

Yeah. It's fucking weird. It's hard. Yeah. Yeah. There's no bullshit at the beginning of the session where you can go. That's sometimes the bullshit gets you the job. Totally. Yeah.

Am I not right? A hundred percent. Yeah. My favorite is, remember when I fucked up with the director? Amy Pohler? No, the director. Oh. So I had this one, I auditioned for this thing many years ago, maybe in the late 90s.

It was like a horror movie. It was like this like European you know, heavy set director. And after my audition, it was a crying scene too. And I did it pretty good. And then, you know, when the director asked you to stay, that's a good thing.

He goes, let's talk for a bit. In my mind, I'm like, oh, I heard this is a good thing. Yeah. Right? And eventually, 10 minutes in, he said something very funny. In the midst of laughter, I go, fatty, and I poked his belly. Oh, my God.

Why did you do that? Yeah, yeah. And then he goes, please leave. And I laughed, and I remember being in the hallway, going, what are you doing? Like, what are you doing? Yeah, it's crazy. It's crazy.

What was the answer to that question? My instinct, don't go with your instinct. Don't go with your comedy, with your comedy instinct, yeah. Because I thought it was going to get a laugh for some reason. Yeah. I must have, that must have been the reason why I did that. Yeah. No? You never did anything that bad. You took a big swing.

I think that's good. It's a big swing. Too big. Maybe too big. You poked him. Yeah. Yeah. I show hate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I feel bad. That story makes me feel bad. You've never had audition stories like that? Oh, not like that. Well, I mean, on the one

hand, like, I think it's cool that you, you know, you let your instincts just take over and flow like that. You just went with your impulse. But I feel bad that you were, that it was such a bad impulse. Yeah, it was really bad. Yeah, because it sounds like you had the part. Yeah, and in motion, you knew. Oh, you knew before you poked.

Before I even made contact, I knew, what are you doing? I shouldn't be doing that. Yeah. Yeah. But I had already committed. it to the motion. And so your brain had already said, don't do this, and then you touched him, and then you went fatty. Yes, yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because it was a memorized response. But it was a defeated fatty. He already knew because he said it. I think so. Fatty. Yeah. He threw you out that quickly? It was pretty bad, yeah. Was he fat? Yeah, fuck. What did you expect to happen that he would laugh and be like, I am fatty?

How did you know? You're right. I didn't think clearly enough. Yeah, I didn't think I mean, you had the part I know, I know, I think I did I think I did. Oh, self-sabotage. Maybe it's self-sabotage. You think I purposely did that

subconsciously? Maybe. I don't know if I did that. I think you were just in the moment and you're like, I got it, the energy's like high and you're like, we're one in fucking fatty. Yeah, we're friends now, fatty.

But I also was like telling stories. So it was just like, you know what I'd be up too. You know what I mean? Yeah. Fatty. I didn't like it either. He knew it was coming.

You don't like it. Well, it's also invasive. Oh, you're right, you're right. Like it's like a... It's a weird spot. It's like a Uigovi shot or something out of nowhere. Well, because there's also more to it than this thing. It's like, anybody coming at your midsection, you're always like, you're always going to flinch.

She didn't like a shoulder like punch maybe. Maybe, yeah. Yeah, it's like, you know, think quick. You always like, oh. Yeah, this is a very sensitive kind of... Okay. Faddy? I should have cut out. Yeah, definitely should have cut out.

Definitely, right? Yep. Yeah. Thank you, Jay. Thank you, Jay. There's three things. All right, there's three. I can only think of two. No, no, well, one is just the approach of the...

Oh, that's a thing? Well, that's what I'm saying. There's a flinch. There's a tension that happens before. Okay. And then this thing is like a penetration, right? This is like... Right.

...phically uncomfortable. And then the fatty, obviously. Yeah. I have a fourth. I can go ahead, Jay. When you clearly have the role... your attitude should be like, don't blow it. Okay, so this is the first time I've killed it in an audition, really.

So it's like, I didn't know what to do. Your adrenaline is. It's almost as if it's like, you know, I have the fish. It's up above the water, right? I have the basket. And I just throw it back in the, I mean, I don't know. Yeah. Do you know what, like, of mice and men, when he's,

squeezes the rabbit. Like Lennie? Yeah. That might have been the fatty part. You killed it. I killed it. Now, did you ever get a second crack? Our theme here is like getting second chances.

Have you run into the director? I've never seen that man before in my life. Okay. How did the movie turn out? I don't even remember. Because it's like when I block out things I've read for and there's, it's tied to some sort of traumatic event because I still replay that in my head. Yeah.

Faddy. Was it a famous director? Was it Peter Jackson? Was it Guillermo del Toro? Yeah, it could have been Galermo. I don't know. What's his name? Del Laramore?

That's pretty good. Is that good enough? That's fine. Yeah, because I can't do the... Guillermo? Yeah, I can't do that part. The double O? Oh, I got it, Guillermo.

There's the name. Guillermo. Del Toro. You poked Guillermo del Toro. I wonder what movie was for now. I mean, was it the Hobbit? I don't know. I don't know.

But it was a European heavyset director, I remember. Okay. Yeah. Oh, that's Peter Jackson. Yeah, I've always, oh yeah, he was heavy set at the time, no? No, he lost weight. But he was also from New Zealand. He was from New Zealand.

Can I ask a question? And this is just a moral thing. If you poked him in the arm, maybe in a less, like, exposed space. We're going back to the guy? The same guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you poked him maybe in the arm. Sherman said fatty, do you think...

I think the fatty is the thing. The fatty was the thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think we've already come to that conclusion that the fatty is a thing. Okay. Yeah. Don't you think? Yeah. We don't... Yeah. Oh, that was... Well, it was just... Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, the whole thing's a crash landing. It's like, the whole thing is awful. It's not a landing, though, right? You're right. It's a crash and burn. Train wreck. Can I defend myself, right? Right? I got the job. So it's not all disaster. No. I never got it. I'm just saying...

When he said, Wait, when he said, stay over, stay. Wait, do you say stay over? That was different. That's different. Come to Neverland Ranch. No, no.

He said, stay, I want to get to know you, let's talk. Oh, that was. So that's when I knew, I'm like, oh, I heard about this. You know, folklore show business. Right. Right. And then it just, it overcame me. You got all fucked up.

Yeah. You're so excited. But you have, but you came, what you're saying, saying is you came out of it with the confidence of knowing that you did get the part. It's sad, yeah. Because, you know, back then, you know, I would hang out with Ralphie May and do it. And he would laugh and call me something, you know, I mean. It's something similar.

But we would banter back and forth. So you would poke Ralphie May and go fatty? Is it what you're saying? Yeah, yeah, okay. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, but he's not a, you know, I fucked up.

Yeah. Did you just have anything similar to that level? Yeah, I was going to say. No, these guys are professional, that's why. Maybe, I don't know. No. No. You've never had a bad audition.

No, I mean, look, I... I've only had bad auditions. Yeah. I mean, it's not even close. I interviewed for... To direct the entourage. They wanted me to direct the entourage, or entourage. But I told them I didn't think their show was very good.

and that that's not really what it's like to sell a movie at Sundance and I kind of gave it to him pretty good and then when I first I saw the second episode like about a year later and I'm like, pretty good and then it became my favorite show

and of course they never hired me it was you know, it's not calling someone fatty but it's pretty close I have I have great regret you know, great regret I could have been like one of HBO's main but you know kind of blow it yeah yeah there's a lot of that that in my life but you know what

I think it all was meant to happen because it's where I'm at oh I change anything well you have a great life yeah we all have great lives do we not yeah yes Steve yeah do you think so yeah it just would have been nice to be in that movie that's all I'm saying it would have been as nice as your life is yeah it would have been also nice to be in this yeah It would have been nice. Yeah, yeah. I've also had like, have you ever froze? Yeah.

On set? He froze with Patrick Swayze. Yeah. Oh, that's right. That's right. You did. On set, no, not on set. Oh, yeah.

You kill it on set. Yeah. Okay. But like, uh. Wow. Well, but like. He does. He does.

Yeah, yeah, no, he does. Yeah. But we, you know, it's also like, I can't get fired. So it's like. Right. Ah. You know. The only things I've done have been broken lizard

and the TV show Tacoma FD, which I created. It's like I'm good to go. It's true. He could poke me and say fatty and I'd be like, all right. Yeah. Cool. Yeah. If I had that guy on Tacoma FD,

I would have poked him, called him fatty, and then fired him. This one's for Bobby Lee. Yeah. Oh, tell me who it is. And then, you know, we'll get some revenge. He still doesn't remember. He doesn't.

I don't remember. If you were director, somebody and they did some sort of like slur towards you, would you? You know, has that ever happened? I don't care what they say when the camera's off, as long as when the camera's on, they deliver, because that makes me look good. I mean, I'll tell you, I, no one's ever said a slur to me, but someone got awfully close. And it was, I was directing Bert Reynolds on the final day of the Dukes of Hazard.

and he and I had been basically arguing and fighting the whole movie over the fact that he was having trouble remembering his lines due to his pain pill problem. But sometimes he would get it, sometimes he wouldn't, but, you know. And so on the final day, we were in a scene in a barn with the whole cast, Knoxville, Showning, Scott, Jessica Simpson, Linda Carter, Joe Don Baker, Willie Nelson, and Bert. And Bert's trying to remember some line.

He can't remember it. He can't remember it. And he goes, cut. God damn stupid Indian. And then he looks at me. He goes, not you. Me. I'm a quarter Navajo. So quick with the infra. Oh, wow. It's a quarter Navajo. I mean, he was talking to himself. Yeah, he was. Yeah. But if he would have stopped at Indian, would you been mad?

I find, I found that whole experience so funny. Like, I find, like, when I used to work with Chevy Chase and he, and he would yell at me and I would kind of argue with him. I'm like, this is fucking awesome. Like, I find this experience to be awesome. Now, look, if you said goddamn stupid Indian,

I don't know that I would have loved it. You're right, but, you know, I wouldn't have fired him. Yeah. It was the last day, though. Didn't he have, like, regarding his pill situation, didn't he have, like, a videotape explaining his pill? Yes, he had a, he had a, I mean, it's like a 15-minute story, so I won't tell

it, but he had a... We'd love to hear it. Really? Yeah. Okay. So, he shows up on the first day. Those videotapes are coming a little later. He shows up on the first day in his white suit, white hat, white hair, the whole thing. And we've got a five-page

scene with Gianni Knoxville, Sean William Scott, and they're in jail, and he's boss hogs supposed to come talk to them. And it's five pages and I realize quickly he doesn't know a single line of the scene. And I'm like, you know, Knoxville and I are looking at each other,

like, oh my God, what's going to happen here? And so I shoot Knoxville and Sean's side of the scene first so that Burke can practice. We flip around, he still doesn't know any of the lines. I'm like, and he goes, don't worry, I'll learn a trick from Jimmy Stewart. Get me some note cards. And we get note cards.

We write all his lines on the note cards and tape him to Sean William Scott and Johnny Knoxville's chest. And he's reading the lines. And I'm like, Bert, you got to look him up in the eyes. He goes, I am looking him up in the eyes, Orson. He called me Orson Wells day one. And we got through the scene. It was fine.

It was great. And then the next day, he knows all his lines. I'm like, okay, this is good. Next day, he doesn't know anything, right? And he's supposed to walk in and tell Linda Carter. He's supposed to say, I like your hair, right? And he walks in, he looks around. He goes, I like it here.

And I'm like, no, you like her hair. He goes, whose hair? I'm like, Linda's hair. And he goes, that's pretty good hair. And so it goes back and forth, back and forth. Now we're shooting this like car. Oh, the other thing he's doing is he's punching the air by my head, right?

He's just punching, just right here. Boom. And I said to his assistant, I'm like, is he going to hit me? And he goes, I've seen it before. Wow. And he goes, but the good news is his back is hurting from all the stunts. he's done so he doesn't want any physical contact. So you're probably in luck. But I'm here, meanwhile, preparing to be punched by Burt Reynolds. And I'm like, I'm going to take him by the

lapels and just lay him down. I'm like 35. I got this guy, no problem. As long as they can take that first punch. But I'm not going to hit him in the face because I need him for the movie. But you always be pinching yourself too. Like, this is fucking Burt Reynolds. It's awesome. I love Bert Reynolds. I love the stories he tells. So now we're shooting a scene where there are like 25 race cars, 50 police cars, Bert's on stage, like a big stage with a bunch of dignitaries

including Joe Don Baker, and I'm going to go fly in a helicopter and fly over the racetrack. And just as I'm going to the helicopter, I get a call in the walkie and it says, hey, Bert's back is hurting. Do you mind if we put an extra in the white suit? I'm like, no problem. So I go up and fly around for three hours. What happened on the ground is they said to Bert, hey, Jay said you can go home. He goes, okay.

No, really? Yeah. And so he's getting ready to leave, and they say to Joe Don Baker, they're like, Joe Don, you can go home too. He goes, I'll stay. And Bert goes, I'll stay too. So he was there for three hours where I flew around in a helicopter. The next day, I'm waiting with Jessica Simpson by the General Lee, waiting to shoot a scene, and Bert's not showing up, right? And I'm like, what are we going to do? And then this 19-year-old kid comes up, he goes, hey, Bert wants to talk to you in his trailer. And I was like, okay, and he looks at the producers used to run Warner Bros. He goes, he wants to talk to you too.

And the second ADU is from Texas. He goes, he wants to talk to you too. And so the four of us, the 19-year-old leads us across the campground about a mile away, and we knock on the trailer door, he kicks it open, and he's wearing white pants,

a white, white-beater tank top. He's got white hair here, but black toupee, right? Yeah. And he goes, get the fuck in here. And so we all file in, including the random 19-year-old. and he sits down we're in like a semi-circle

around him he goes I saw your movie Super doper poopper scopper and then there's a knock on the door and a nurse comes in and he stands up pulls his underwear and pants all the way down

I saw his crunt okay and she takes out what's the crunt it's the back of your ball sack okay that's a crunt that's a crunt

you know that Steve yeah it's the space It's all, just up to the persinium. Yeah, but can I ask you, though? Didn't they call that a taint? The crunt is actually, technically, it's the area of the taint that touches the asshole. Oh, so it's a sub-region of the taint.

That's a exact spot. Right. That's right. Okay. It has a very nice crunt. Okay. So she injects him with this huge syringe, and he goes, get the fuck out of my trailer.

And so she leaves, and he sits down. And now he's, he's just, he's really fucked up. And he's like, they say Demerall is as good as percocet. It isn't. Perkadan never hurt anybody. Wow. Tiling all threes for amateurs.

And he's just rolling through the pain. Oh, my God. And he starts to kind of whip himself into shape. And he looks at the producer, he goes, I like you. And he looks at the assistant director of Texas. He goes, I like you too. And then he looks at the 19-year-old.

He goes, I don't know you. And he looks at the assistant director of Texas. me, he goes, but I don't like you. He goes, you want to see a real movie? And he frisbee's the DVD at me. It says, Bert Reynolds, why my back hurts? He goes, get the fuck out of my trailer. So we leave the trailer. And the assistant director is like, what do you want to do, boss? I'm like, let's go watch a movie, right? So we go to my trailer, we put the DVD in, and it's every stunt Bert Reynolds has ever done set to classical music.

Sharky's machine, Smoky and the Bandit, and it's amazing. Wow. That's so cool. It's so cool. It's so cool, too. And then we come out and, you know, Jessica Simpson's standing there. She goes, are we shooting the scene or what? I don't know. And Bert comes out of his trailer. He goes, roll camera. We're like a mile away.

But anyway, whatever. It ends with that barn scene. You know, I mean, that's how it ended. Yeah, I mean, he's a legend. And you got to give him notes and direction and all that. That's so fucking cool, dude. He is awesome. I mean, he tells great showbiz stories.

I set him up for that last part. I didn't expect the whole front part. Well, see what happened when we took a risk here? Yeah. It was excellent. Yeah. That's when a risk works out well. Yeah.

And I pushed him to finish the story. Yeah. And we got so much out of that thing. Yeah. It's the opposite of fatty. It's skinny. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. I fucked up. I love you. I love you. Yeah. I've frozen in auditions before where I just nothing comes out. It's the Amy Polar one? Yeah.

Like there was Amy Polar. had one when she was in the room and I just completely froze. Yeah. Yeah. And I got on beta blockers. Wow. What? I mean, that's too bad.

What? It's too bad that you froze in the audition. Is that know what we're talking about? Yeah, yeah. I'm just trying to. Have you ever? I find myself, I can crumble quickly in auditions. Like, I tried out for that movie Garden State.

Yeah. With Zach Braff. And I made a choice because I was dating a Southern girl who, instead of poem, she would say poin. And in the audition, my character has to say the word poem. And so, like, I started saying poim, just as a choice. And Zach Braddon fucking hated it. Like, when I did it, he was like, poin?

And I was like, yeah, poim. It's like, Korea. Do I have a problem? Yeah, it's you. It's a choice, though. Poem, yeah. But then when Jay was talking about the way I say Korea, he went Korea. That's what it sounds like.

And I was like, do I say Korea? Sounds like that. Because like when you see like the race. It sounds like insurance. Yeah. Ah. You look like you were saying it, you sound like you're saying like during the Korean War Korea. Yeah, back when I was in Korea.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like there's like trauma and bomb. I think that's what it is. There's trauma. Korea. Yeah, Korea is fine. Yeah. But, you know, by the way, that story, the story I was trying to tell back then, Korea town was,

I remember my neighbor was a Korean lady. And she used to sing, God bless America, like seven times a day. Do it the way she would sing it. I don't. I shit. Don't. I shit. I shit.

Yeah, you do it. Yeah, I just did it. Yeah. So like, okay, so for instance, I can do, you know, most Spanish accents because I'm Hispanic. So if there was a Hispanic thing, you could say to me, do it, and I would do it. Are you 50% or 100%? I'm 75%. You're allowed to do it, yeah.

Yeah. All right to do it. Okay. But so you should do the core. You should do. God Bless America in the accent. Well, I don't even know the lyrics of God Bless America, but... But neither did she.

That was the thing. All right, so you're right. Let me give it to go. Yeah. As a woman? Yes. Sure. God do.

Bless America. My home, free town. Pretty good? That's it. That's it. Yeah, yeah. Tell them what your dad used to sing, Frosty the Snow. Oh, was it like?

Christmas. No, you go. Frosty, he's a good guy. Like, you didn't know the word, so he was just kind of like, yeah, yeah. I'm going to tee J up again. Jay's uncle does twinkle, twinkle little star like a motherfucker.

Like a motherfucker. Give it to it. Twinkle, twinkle little star. How I wonder what you are. Up above the world so high. Like a diamond in the sky. It's like Shakespeare. That was beautiful.

That was really beautiful. Yeah. Do you get nervous doing other people's accents? Not really. Nowadays. Not privately. If a camera was going. Yeah, I mean like.

Not private. Yeah, yeah. Well, privately among comics, you know. No, if we were in a car right now, just the two of us, I would do that like a motherfire. Oh, really? I would be delighted to me. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you giggle and you laugh, yeah. Our ass is off. Yeah, your ass is honestly the way I grew up. My group of friends in New York City was, we just had a whole group of it, and we would just attack each other and make fun of each other and laugh at each other because it was all. What's love, you know?

I mean, I've talked about this before back in the day. It's dock workers from different countries, and the way they were able to bond on those docks is to make fun of each other. Yeah. And rip on each other's skin and axes. But yeah. Do you guys ever do like Boston accents, New York accent?

Sure, absolutely. Would you mind doing a Boston accent for me? Yeah, sure. Yeah, Tom Terrific. He's got his ug boots, and I'm going over to legal seafood for some clam chowder. That's good. That's good.

Can I try? Can I try? Can I try? Clam chowder. That sounds Asian. No, it doesn't, dude. The Boston accent's a very hard accent to do. I'm Bobby Kennedy.

No? Well, sure, there's those ones. I'm trying to do that one. Yeah. Boss car and stuff. Yeah, is that not working? He's not like Stephen Hawking. It's working for me.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know about it for that. But if I was from Boston, would you be like, hey, there's Tony? You know the problem with Boston people is? Yeah. is like they're hypercritical when people try to do their accent. They're jerks about it. Right.

They're like, it's fucking wicked terrible, your accent. You know, I've never made love to an East Coast girl. Ever? Ever. Really? Ever. Are you sure? I'm 100% positive.

Only West Coast. Have you asked? Midwest, yeah. Yeah, Midwest. But East Coast never. Never? Do you only make love or do you ever like? I'll only make love.

Fuck. Yeah, I only makes love. I only make love, dude. Smooth love, dude. So if we were looking at a map with, you know, different colors, depending on lovemaking by state. All the thumbtacks would be in west of Illinois. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so all along the way.

I bet you've just laid it all up and down the West Coast. From Toledo, you know what I mean? West, yes. Yeah, you got any push pins in Australia or New Zealand yet? No, I've never. And I'm about to leave tonight. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Well, I mean, my girlfriend's upstairs. I have a girlfriend. I can you have? Yeah. Yeah, I don't want to get caught, you know what I mean, but it's like, yeah. I mean, you know what I mean, a real stable relationship right now. Yeah, she's upstairs. She's upstairs, yeah.

Is she coming to Australia? No, she's not, but she's going to go to Hawaii and, you know. There are a lot of people who believe when you cross an international border that all bets are off that you can. Do you believe that? You're looking at one of them. Yeah, don't know, don't indict me. Oh, I thought a lot of people like, you're saying other people. Other people.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I don't know. about that. I think they're wrong. Yeah. I'm just, you know. Is this being piped up to the room upstairs? There's a live stream.

It's just a feat. You mean there's a video village or something? No, no, no, no. She has no idea what I'm doing. Okay. She's never been down here in the garage before. Rarely. Yeah, rarely. It's good that you're in a stable relationship. You think so? Are you engaged? Like, are you, how long? Steve, don't be uncomfortable. Okay.

All right. So, Steve, I've been in this relationship. for about a year and a half now. Okay. Kent knows her. And the problem with it is that she once dated a comic that everyone knows. But, you know, I think I'm past that part now. It's not Gallagher, is it?

Gallagher's brother. Gallagher's brother. Not even, Gallagher, yeah. Because people were going, yeah, go ahead. Go on. I know I was going to say, what is his name? But I don't want to interrupt you. Go.

Is it Gallagher, too? Yeah. Who's? Gallagher's sequel, I think. Yeah. Is it? We got to find Gallagher's brother's name now.

Noel, Liam, and their older brother, Paul. Oh, that's Oasis. That is Oasis. Yeah. That was bad. That was bad. Look up Gallagher, too.

Just to... Ron. Ron. Ron. That's his name? Ron Gallagher. Wow. Ron Gallagher.

Like, if your brother stole your act, would you be mad? Yeah. Yeah, I'd be furious. If he stole my trademark. Oh, he did the watermelon smash and everything? Yeah. Does the same man.

Where's the hat, the Nuzzi's hat? Oh, my God. No, in his defense, he's a twin brother. Oh. Oh. What do you think? Well, you're like, you can, it's show business, right? What they should do is get together.

Double act. Do two acts separately, make double the money, and let's call it a day. Yeah. Jackson five. Scler Brothers are twins They're fantastic Those guys Yeah we love those guys

Yeah It's just like I wonder how watermelon Smashing became a closer though I suppose it's just like Workshopping anything You know he probably had it like third In his lineup

What's the biggest fruit? I love this game It's a watermarker Pumpkin Pumpkin's not Maybe you're right You're right No what's the biggest fruit

I think it's a watermelon. That's why he chose them. I think a pumpkin's a vegetable. A pumpkin is technically a fruit, but people don't view it as a fruit. But is it bigger than a watermelon? Absolutely. Then I win. You win.

What's the world's biggest watermelon in history? That's a good question. Because these things come in different size. Yeah, I understand how it works. Do you? No, not really. 350 pounds. Watermelon.

Whoa. And give me pumpkin. Also, what type of animal is 350 pounds? I like to think about it that way. Capi Barra. Capi Barra's 350? No. Pumpkin beats it.

2,800. You fucking nailed it. I got it. And I guarantee you Gallagher couldn't smash that thing. No way. Maybe he tried it. Yeah, so he was like, I got a downside.

Unless he did like Madden's Squorgardner or something. You know, well, I wonder if that's like, not knowing what it's like to smash either of those things, is that the watermelon just came apart so easily. It was never a challenge. Red inside. Yeah, a couple times the, the pumpkin gave him some problems and didn't deliver.

Yeah, that's, and then you fall flat on your closer. Right. Yeah. I think the problem with that bit is that it crushed early on in his career, so big. And I just think that he was just chasing it. Yeah. There's no way that that thing crushed. Because to close with something, you would have to get like a standing ovation.

Yeah. And certainly after it had crushed, once he was going through the country a second time, people were shouting at him. I bet he went out there one time without the watermelon. He's trying a new thing. And they're like, we want the water. And it was dead quiet. They're like, bring us the watermelon.

And everybody else laughs. And then he's like, fuck, I should have done watermark. Oh, fuck, yeah. But how about if they don't have any watermelon? How about if they're all out? He's like, I don't have it today. Then what happens? I had that happen.

Kevin and I went. What country are we living in this scenario? Well, I think a sandy country with a lot of sand. Oh, bring some of the racist thing. I'm just saying there's more sand

and... Oh, do you say it like that. Are you saying sand to an Indian guy? No, no, no, no. I'm a fourth novel. It's Korean. No, no, no. As long as you deliver when the cameras are rolling,

I don't care what you say. Okay. I don't know if... No, Kevin and I, when Kevin Heffern and I were on the road, we used to have people come up on stage and we would have a sexy peach eating contest where they had to, like,

really like, make love, like, eat the peach and make love to it. And then the winner of that, got awarded a special prize, but one time somebody was like, oh, it's not peach season. And there we were. What to do? What to do?

We didn't know. We didn't know what to do. So what did you choose? You canceled it? Squash. Yeah, we just called the whole thing off. Can't do it. No, I don't remember what we did.

Yeah. But it was like... That must have killed. It was a substitute, which wasn't as good. Yeah. But did that bit kill? Oh, it killed. Yeah.

That's a great idea. I never heard of that. Yeah, you'd have people up there, just like, like, three people next to each other, like, really go, like some guys would... people start to make love to the peach on the stage. Yeah.

They'd go for it and everything. You could say good night at any moment. We're not even doing anything at that point. We're just collecting the laughs. Wow. Oh, shit, dude. Are you still doing stand-up, Jay, or no? I am.

I have a stand-up special coming out on the... What is that? When is that? When is it out? Weeks. Wow. Check it out. Veeps?

20th of August. 20th of August. How many... This is your fourth special? How many... It's really my first and a half. Broken Lizard did a special called Broken Lizard Stans Up. We did 20 minutes.

But this is my first solo special. Wow. Congratulations. Thank you. Give him a run. It's got a great name, by the way. Where did you? Round Supremicists.

Wow. Where did you film it? Chicago, Athalia Hall. Oh, cool. Yeah, there I am. And then any shows you're doing your, you want to promote anything? No, I'm good. This is his last one.

You don't want to promote the movie? Oh, Super Troopers 3. We'll go watch Super Troopers 3 out now in theaters Check it out everybody Thank you so much guys for doing it Thank you. You have fun or no? I had a great time.

Awesome. So easy. Have fun in Australia. Thank you so much. Are you going to take your clothes off in Australia? Yeah. Yeah, he is.