TigerBelly - Jeff Dye & Being Poor Poor

Episode Date: November 13, 2024

Comedian Jeff Dye stops by the 1st time and Jamie roleplays with Bobby. We chat penguin-pizza-wings, living in cars, yawning, handsome comedians, sumo wrestling, cowboy whiskey mentality, and Filipino bats.  So stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to www.zocdoc.com/belly to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. That’s www.zocdoc.com/belly.  BlueChew wants you to have the confidence to perform at your best, so discover your options at www.bluechew.com! And we’ve got a special deal for our listeners: Try BlueChew FREE when you use our promo code BELLY at checkout--just pay $5 shipping. That’s www.bluechew.com, promo code BELLY to receive your first month FREE. Visit www.bluechew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast Earn points by paying rent right now when you go to www.joinbilt.com/belly. That’s www.joinbilt.com/belly. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you: www.joinbilt.com/belly, to start earning points with your rent payments today.  

I was a nice guy last night. You're a nice guy? I was a nice guy. I was playing the nice guy last night. Where? At the club. What club? Just a little yard place.

It's like a live music band. Did she leave you yet? No, she's still with me. I paid for her and her friends to get in the club, and it was 240. Ooh, baller! But I was drunk. Holy, what? I was drunk.

Yeah, dude. That's why. Did you penetrate her last night as well? No. Okay. Keep it safe. It's dying down, huh? Yeah, the love is dying. Is it? No.

Sparking up. You know, it's sparking up? You know, I find that right. It's sparking up? You know, I find that your attitude through the weeks, you've grown in confidence, but it's kind of bothersome too. Mm. You know, it bothers me a little bit too.

Why so? I don't know, it's just... How so? You're getting mouthy. I am? No, you're not! You're fine, you're perfect. You're a good kid, dude. It's the sex, man. No, you're not. You're fine. You're perfect. You're a good kid, dude.

It's a sex, man. No, dude. I don't even know what she would call it, you know what I mean? But if that's what you're calling it, well, what's up? What's that face? No, just the hip. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like when he looks at you and you talk, it's just like, what's happening? What's happening? I get scared, you know? Why are you scared of me, dude? I'm your ally. No, I'm scared of love, you know?

Oh, interesting. You're scared of love? Dude, last night I did a show for firefighters. Okay, you're a big supporter, yeah. At the improv, and, but what they had was six fire, I'm talking. Oh, I'm looking at her face. No, wait, wait, wait, dude. No, no, no, stop, stop, stop. No, no, stop, stop, I'm talking. Oh, I'm looking at her face. No, wait, wait, wait, dude.

No, no, no, stop, stop, stop. No, stop, stop, stop, stop. Okay. No, just stop. Wait, hi. He's trying to blame her. What's up, dog? I'm talking.

I know, but. No, hi, man. Hi, man. What's up, dog? I'm talking. This is my show. So what's the problem, dog? I'm talking. This is my show. So what's the problem, amigo? Nothing.

I know, but I'm talking, amigo? I'm sorry, I'm not. Parfavor. I speak English. I know, I understand. I know you speak English, dude. What is so important that you have to interrupt me? Her face.

Okay, what did her face say? Yeah, yeah, well don't look at her face then. Okay? Whatever her face is doing, wait until I'm done talking. Okay. What were you doing with your face? I was- What were you doing with your face?

I just threw it out, the candy. That's not candy. Or like this thing. Yeah, why don do you eat it? Okay anyway, um Well forget it. I don't even want to say now I lost all momentum firefighters. I don't want to do it now I don't know what else to say, but then that happened anyway, um

Where the firefighters in the audience was it just oh, yeah, what was happening? Shut the fuck up dude. He's good at saving you're very good safe Anyway, um. Were there firefighters in the audience? Was it just, yeah, what was happening? Shut the fuck up, dude. He's good at saving. You're very good safe. Anyway, I did a benefit show for firefighters. It was all firefighters in the audience. But they had six firefighters do standup before us.

Right? And they all had three minutes. First of all, no one did their time. One dude did 15 minutes. Yeah, right? Guess what color he was? White. I'm not gonna say.

I'm not gonna say. I'm not gonna say. But just make a guess. But just make a guess. Okay? Okay? Okay? Okay?

And then it got to the point, I'd never seen this before, he was going so long, I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure.

I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I'm not sure. I've never seen that before. Yeah, like the Oscar. Ba-na-ba-na-ba-na-ba-na-ba-na-ba. And you go, oh, I guess it's my time. I guess. Yeah, yeah. Yo, what's up? I think it's my, I'm not gonna put a color to one. Yeah, it's a classic white guy. Yeah, it's a classic white guy. Yo, what's up?

What's up? But these guys were doing so good. Dude, firefighters, you think, doing three minutes, they're not gonna be good. They were crushing. So now me, Eric Griffin, Amir Kay, we're in the back wing, and because we're closing the show, what if we can't do good? You know what I mean?

You were nervous a little. We were all nervous. We're holding onto the shirt in the back wing. What if we go up there and these guys, you know, You were nervous. We were all nervous. We're holding onto the shirt in the back going, what if we go up there and these guys show us the real deal? And then Eric's line goes, I guess anyone can do comedy. That was his opening line. Got to laugh?

Got to laugh. Asked me if I did well. Did you do well? Crushed it. Nice. me if I did well did you do well crushed it nice what were the jokes from the firefighters like to say they did three minutes what kind of jokes were they like fire jokes or putting out fires or climbing what's this climb the ladder oh a little too high dude a little too okay well the ladder slants against the wall so it's gonna don't say slant in front of me man oh talking about my eyes no I'm not saying that's not it's not They're not slanted. Or not? No. Oh, what are they?

Equally. Equally what? Equally what? Equally what? Equally what? Lined. Lined. Lined up. Lined up. My eyes are equally lined up. Is that worse? Yeah, I think that's way worse. It's so funny back probably in the Vietnam War,

was that ever said? God damn those fucking guys with the eyes equally like us. Wow, that was a really piece of way I was saying it. Your eyes are like, smaller. Smaller than what? Like normal. Smaller than normal. Okay. Yeah, it's like this and then like that.

Wait, wait, it goes this way and that way? It goes two different? So he lied. They don't go equally. That's what I see. So who's the truth? Well, from my eyes, it's equal. Yeah, you're equal. Right. But how about from this angle? Oh yeah, line.

Slant it. Oh, now it it's landed and now it's equal She's facing yeah, yeah, how about this let's not talk about my eyes anymore, okay You know I mean, but um, so you're saying that you've seen many Asians, right? Yeah, and your eyes my eyes eyes. Are smaller than most Asians. Yeah. Yeah, would you say that I was sleeping? From afar do I look like I'm sleeping? No, it's like the M&M's candy, that size.

The chocolate. Yeah. Which M&M's? Really, I wonder what M&M candy she's talking talking about of course the chocolates. Yeah. Yeah, those are round. Yeah They're not like that This is you mean his eyes a little tiny circles. Let's play this game. Okay, I'm gonna close my eyes See if they're open or close if I can see you, okay? You can see me

You can know but now You can see me. How about now? You can see me. I can't. How about now? Put your fingers. You can see me. Give me your fingers. Anyway, that was a bad game.

That was a game that I didn't think through. That was a game I didn't think through and it came across a little awkward and a little weird. But maybe we can edit that part out. But my point is that that was not a good game. So, we got, so the firefighters, what's the question? What was the jokes? Yeah, dude, listen to me, dude.

I'm not sitting there going, oh, what a clever, crafty, you know, joke. I was more, because you know, they're new, so it's like I'm more curious about confidence and crowd reaction and I felt like the crowd reaction was very good And I thought that their confidence was high. Maybe it's because they have a dangerous job But it was a little intimidating. I'll be honest. Do you still bomb people Bobby? I do. Yes. Thank you very much

Have you seen me bomb? No. Yeah. Like they boo you? Nobody boos. I think booing, I mean, okay, so two weeks ago, this happened, I went up on the OR, and there was a table out front,

and whoever's listening at this table, you know what the fuck I'm talking about, and I'm tired of your deception, and you're fucking, you know, me cowardice, okay? As soon as I get up, one girl just goes, I'm not kidding you, she goes, and she gets up and she leaves the room. As I'm performing, I don't think anything of it,

make sure to take a shit, right? And I go, all right, that's my time, good night, then I see her come back from the bathroom. So she had waited 15 minutes, right? And then when she sat down, I looked at her, good night, then I see her come back from the bathroom. So she had waited 15 minutes, right? And then when she sat down, I looked at her, I go, you purposely missed my set. And she went, I go, oh yeah, why?

She wouldn't say anything. Then I looked at her friends, I go, she doesn't like me? And they're like, right? White girl? White girl, yeah. So I go, you know what? Sit there, lady. And I started my set all over again. Oh my god.

I'm not kidding, like three minutes of my set. And she was just like pouting. And because I was doing it over again, like people were laughing. But there are people in the audience, they just don't like me. You know what? It's one of those things where it's like, especially in the OR they're like, let's go watch comedy at the comedy show, right?

And there's like a bunch of comics, but then one they don't like. And that particular show, I was the guy that that one girl didn't like. But instead of just sitting there and just being polite, she rudely got up and let me know. But it's like, you know, it's so funny because I think about that girl every day for the last two weeks who is she just a random girl

don't worry about it Bobby now I'm just saying you know I don't if I was you I wouldn't think about it you know she's the random fan well not a fan but random so you know what kind of be honest with you? No, don't do that. You're like a warm blanket, and it's very comforting. You give great advice. And when I'm down, so here, let's do a scenario. I see you and our roommates. Sweet.

And I come home, I'm crying, so let's play that out. Tough day at work. Hey, Bobby? are you crying? Yeah, man. What's going on, man? What's going on? Is it? What is it? No, I just I just found out that everyone I know died. Who? Everyone. Everyone that you know? My uncles, my aunts, my mom, my brother, Andrew. They all died. They all died? Yeah. Think about this. Think about it.

Think about it. Okay, they all died, what? Tell me. Think about it like this. It's okay, okay, let me think. Let me think about it. You don't have to worry about them. They're not here no more.

Okay, I don't have to worry about them. They're in, rest in peace. They're a happy place. Okay and you and me we watch the penguin and get a pizza some wings and call it a night right? Hey don't forget. You know you're right you're right right. Did you say you want to watch the penguin? Watch the penguin? You want to get some pizza wings? Pizza wings? All right. From your wing spot? From my wing spot? Yeah. Yeah. Are you gonna pay tonight? Yeah want to get some pizza wings? Pizza wings? Alright. From your wing spot? From my wing spot? Yeah.

Are you going to pay tonight? I'll pay. You will? I'll pay. Thank you because I'm going through so much. But hey, the rent is due tomorrow so don't forget about that. Okay, you're right. Thank you, thank you.

How much was that again? $1,500. $1,500? Okay, I'll get that for you. Okay. Okay? I won't think about it. Forget about your family.

They're not here no more. They're not here. Okay. Wow, that was so comforting. That I wish, you know, if God forbid, if I were in that situation, I wish you were there with me. That's wild. If everyone died, I may jump in. Penguin, pizza, and wigs? Penguin, pizza, and wigs. That's really good.

What about this scenario? I just found out I have a week to live. A week? Yeah. Well, let's binge watch your favorite I have a week to live. A week? Well, let's binge watch your favorite show for a week. Really? Yeah, we can do that. You'll watch it with me?

Yeah. We have pizza one night, wings the next night. Wait, excuse me. I'm sorry. Chinese the next night. No, no, stop because when Andrew and my brother and my mom and everyone died two months ago, right? You said we could have pizza, wings, and penguin in one night.

Why are we spreading it apart? yeah yeah I would like why is it penguin one day wings and then pizza can we just do it all one night well you need to watch a show that's a week long I know but okay can you pay for it again yeah I'll pay for this week okay okay next time yeah man you gotta pay you know what in two months from now. I'll pay two months Okay Jules what would you say to Bobby? I'm just curious if all his family died yeah, I think I just hugged Bobby Yeah I wouldn't hug you. I'll just hug. Because you would be destroyed too.

Yeah. Yeah, you're his family. Oh, yeah, you'd be dead. Yeah. It's okay, Jules. You think about death a lot, Jaime? No, because it's an invendible. Is that right? Inventable?

What does Daniel say? Inventable? Invincible? You both have to figure this out on the mic. Inevitable. No, you're doing it the way he's doing it. Inevitable. You're close. What did he say?

Inevitable. Inevitable. Inevitable. Again, Koya? Inevitable. That's so hard. You got it. Hey, hello.

Hi. It's okay. How you doing, Jeff? In inevitable death is inevitable so hard You're very handsome Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like this. Good start. It's a good start. It's a good start. It's a good start. Yeah, what's up? I'm putting on Do Not Disturb. Uh-huh. Do the headphones. Yep. What a time to be alive.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I'm happy. Yeah. Thanks for having me. You know, I don't see it. You don't see it? No, I don't see it.

I don't see the handsome. Really? Yeah, people talk about, you know, I'm tired of this fucking bullshit, dude. Over the years. I'm sorry for starting this way. Yeah, okay. You can do whatever. It's your pocket. Yeah, yeah talk about, you know, I'm tired of this fucking bullshit, dude. Over the years. I'm sorry for starting this way. Yeah, OK. You can do whatever. It's your pocket. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm starting, starting like in a hostile way.

You're funny. Yeah. But I don't see it, pal. I know. They talk about rive, you, you know what I mean? Handsome, handsome, funny, funny. I get it. I get it. You know what I mean? But I should be a part of the, I'm handsome. You are handsome. Yeah, in my own way, and it's just a different time period. I was born in the wrong time period.

I agree. Why are you laughing? Why you, you don't even agree with me right now. Why are you smiling? You don't fucking agree with me. I feel like you're convincing yourself even with this. No, I'm trying to convince the world. Well, let's face it.

You know what I mean? And, you know, it's like hegemonic, you know, is that the word? Mm-hmm. Hegemonic. What's hegemonic mean? You mean homogenous? What are we talking about? I think that's it. Did I make it up? No. Hegemonic. Ruling or dominant in a political or social context. Yeah. You're hegemonic. Hegemonic. How do you know that word? What do you mean? Classic word. I know a lot of words, dude. I know, I've never heard that in my life. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Give him the other one. What? Give him the other word. Nonfulian. What's that one? I just made that up. Now listen. I got a guy with a laptop, he goes, I don't know either.

I think nonfulian should be a word though, you know what I mean? I'm telling you right now, Gilbert was at the party, he was acting nonfulian. He was acting a fool. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what it means, right? I like it. Yeah, so let's give him a round of applause.

Jeff Dye, comedian. Woo! You were on, you got your start on what show? My first thing was Last Comic Standing. Last Comic Standing, what year did you do? Season, season Eliza wins. I don't know what it was called. Oh, you did Eliza season?

Season six, season eight. Yeah, how far did you get on that show? I got third. I made, like, of course. Yeah, I felt good. You, who took second? This guy named Marcus Hardy, who doesn't even do comedy. I love Marcus. I've had all of his albums.

Well, it feels like that because he quit comedy. He did? Yeah, he was like an impressionist. Oh, was he good? Ah, he's very good at impressions. Yeah, yeah. Do you like impressionists? Do you do impressions?

I don't. Yeah, I don't. I like when people do impressions, but do you think the act, when you go see an impressionist, are you like, that was the best? ZocDoc, ZocDoc, for your health and freedom. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in-network doctors, choose the right one for your needs, and click to instantly book an appointment. We're talking about in-network appointments with more than 100,000 healthcare providers across every specialty from mental health to dental health, eye care to skin care, and much, much, much much much more. You can filter for doctors who take your insurance, who are located nearby,

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And accurate. So you like some and you don't like others? Is that what you're saying? Here's the thing with, this is how I base impressions. All right. Number one, are they hacky? Right? So if somebody is doing Gilbert Gottfried now,

or Christopher Walken is another one that people do, De Niro is another one people do. Christopher Walken, yeah, everybody does that. I just said that, man. I know, that's the number one example. It's a great example. You'd be five, yeah, I'd fuck a five. I love this guy.

I was agreeing. He's the best, yeah. He yelled at me for agreeing. He's a great guy, this guy. I like this guy, but anyway, what's another? Joan, what's the lady that died? Joan Rivers. Joan Rivers was one back in the day people just do.

But then there are ones that are super subtle and difficult and also unique. I think those ones, if somebody does like a, if they can do the subtly of like a Matt Damon for him. You know what I mean? And I can see it and go, oh my god, that is. Even if in my own mind, I wouldn't even

know what a Matt Damon impression would be like. If somebody did it, I'd be like, oh, he figured it out. I can do a Tony Hinchcliffe one just because there's a guy on Instagram who does a really good Tony Hinchcliffe one. So I just do kind of his impression of Tony. Yeah, well, do the one about. We were like, everyone was doing, nobody did George W. Bush. So I just do kind of his impression of Tony. Yeah, well do the one about. Like everyone is doing, nobody did George W. Bush.

They did Will Ferrell doing George W. Bush. So I want you to do Tony Hinge clip but with this joke about, you know, there's a floating island of garbage out there. I think it's called Puerto Rico. Hit him with a meow right there. Fucking slaughter. Another fucking killer 60 seconds. That is him.

From Bobby Lee. That's him. Do you know Tony Wall? I don't know him well, but I know him, yeah. I've known him since he was a little kid. Yeah, well I imagine the store guys, yeah you guys, the store is such a unique place man, you guys must have like thousands of experiences with each comic. Like it makes it, it is high school high is what the comedy story is

right but here's the thing about you Jeff and I have to say this up what's your energy about today dude what I'm not engaged your eyes are drifting we need you in this dude enough the drugs and pocky bud can you get dialed in yeah dialed in Tony yeah, yeah look they're engaged Compliment yeah, yeah sitting over the game. Yeah, give us something dude. He's got the slack jaw kind of like Nice not giving us. Yeah, yeah, give him something there. He is all right give him something You look like Andrew Garfield I'll take it yes, Spider-Man. That's fucking right. Your voice sounds like Andrew Garfield.

Really? I don't know what he sounds like much. British? Oh. Well, he's British, right? Is Andrew Garfield real British? But I don't sound British. Let's not talk about Andrew Garfield. What's a comedy store? Oh, here's the thing about, is I don't understand why you're not in there. I know I would love to be. I would kill to be in a comedy store.

I mean there's a list of guys I'm like oh that guy should be and you're not. It's you. I think right now people are rooting for Glassman as well. He just kind of lingers there. Yeah well I mean well we should, this would be a good place to address it just because you're a comedy star guy. So, when Emily originally was not the booker, she was just there. Yeah. She was so nice to me and she was like, listen, if I was in charge, I'd put you, I'd like text. Now she won't even reply to a text. I'm sure that, I don't know if it's my politics or it could be like... It's not your politics. Other female comics don't like me or something. Whatever it is, I'm open to hearing it and whatever it is. But what happened was there was a misunderstanding between me and Adam Eaglet

and we squashed it, which is really good. So I'm wondering if maybe she thinks that's part of it. It's not. It's in your head. Oh really? Yeah, because you know we have alcoholic thinking. Yeah. And that's what our mind does. Okay. I mean we create all these storylines that are maybe fantasies that aren't true. For me it's like there's a show called Florida Man. What's it called? On HBO, what's it called? It's Florida Man. I'm on that. Oh you're on that show? Yeah, yeah. But so if you look at the trailer of that show, you see the whole thing. I'm not in the trailer, except that they go, Randall Park, and he'll say his name, Juliette Lewis,

and then I'm in there in that part, but they don't show me in the first part. So in my mind, I'm like, they don't like me. Why am I not in? I know. HBO does not like me. I think like that a lot. Yeah, yeah.

They'll do the opening of a thing, and I'm going, oh, I got one second, but then they put three seconds. Like, yeah. It's insane thinking. Well, let me tell you the Adam Eaglet thing. They'll do the opening of a thing and I'm going oh, I got one second, but then they put three seconds It's insane thinking well, let me let me tell you that I'm eating it thing here's what here's a miss a thing that happened Yeah, I sent like an email and he wrote like I just have too many white guys You know that that's what so then he I then a year later also we were like Emmy nominated I was like on a really big show so everyone was going which was that was called better late than ever It was a traveling the world on NBC. Oh, that going, Jeff, you should be. Which show was that? It was called Better Than Ever. Okay, you did.

It was me traveling the world on NBC. Oh, that's great. But we got a second season, things were going good. I finally did The Tonight Show. I think I did it twice in like that six months. So someone goes, just reach out to Adam, dude. He'd love you here. Yeah.

So I reach out to Adam again. Two years in a row, he writes, well, I've got enough straight white guys. Yeah. Offhandedly, I promise you, with all my heart, I was saying, you know if this was any other industry, I could sue his ass for putting in an email that I can't change my race and my gender yeah Yeah, like I can't I was saying I was just trying I was just kind of doing what we're doing here Where I was going if this was Starbucks and you put in an email that you can't hire me because of my race

I could sue you. This then somehow got game of telephone got back to Adam and he was like, he's going to sue the comedy store and I was like, Adam, I wish we would have had this conversation like eight years ago. I would never sue anyone. And also it was just me like, you know, going, this is kind of, I wish that I wish you'd have said, just be funnier because I can like work on being funnier, you know?, so it was a total misunderstanding. And then the second Adam heard me just talk to him, it went away and I was like, oh good. Like everything's fine.

So I'm wondering if maybe she thinks I have some problem with the store. Let's talk about the whiteness then. Yeah. No? What about, there's a lot of white guys. He's right. She's right. I know.

So here's my prediction. I don't disagree with that. There's a lot of white guys here's my predicament okay yeah I'm the Booker yeah okay of a club right why you smiling yeah yeah what I say about this guy earlier when I came he's handsome very handsome oh you heard it from him that's what happened nobody just call

him handsome no she could she would if. No, she never, no, she, cause she would, if you weren't, she would have mine. Yeah. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, so you agree. Thank you. You fist bump?

I talked to her like she was five. You fist bump? Yeah, yeah. But anyway, so I'm the booker of a club, right? And I get all, I'm trying to book the Tuesday night lineup, right, and there's 13 slots or 14 slots, right? And then you, Tim Dillon, Santino, right? I mean, the list goes on, all these guys call in, right?

What do I do? Well, so here's the thing. What I'm about to say is so easy and cliche and way easier to say than do. Just book the funniest, most famous people. So my rule would be go with the most famous because we got to sell tickets Yeah And then the most funny and if you have someone that's both what a blessing if you can get someone that's real funny and real

Famous like you're very funny, and you draw you're a jackpot But it's really hard to get you at a place because now I got to pay you 30 fucking grand to show up Yeah, so like they also want to be able to find, you want both. Don't do it just cause, oh, he's a Somali guy and we don't have any of the Somali guys. I know, I know. Do you know what I mean?

That's when it gets scary. Use a different thing. Well someone will suck. And I'm going, well maybe they're famous. No, they're not famous either. They just suck and they're just up there. Right, yeah sometimes you'll go through, is that through a little Vulcan. You don't even know what Human half dolphin actually I'd pay to see that and yeah, and you know, yeah, you're right

And there are also some people and I want to name names But there are just some people where I'm confused on why they even got a spot in the first place Right when I used to think like I never thought it was because my whiteness, but I was like, maybe I'm just not famous enough That's fine No, I start moving tickets and I'm doing good at comedy and they'll still don't want anything to do with me Yeah, but don't let that bitterness come out. I don't want to I'm trying to yeah, I'm being honest Yeah, you know I mean I think your time is gonna come. Thanks, and I want that bitterness to come up Well, the booze is gone, baby. So I'm a lot happier He just got can I talk about it? Yeah, I'd love to. So Jeff's just got a year of sobriety.

Yeah. Thank you. Thank you. And it's been a real honor, and joy to watch you get sober. I have to say, you know, I normally don't talk like this, but it's really one of the things that have helped me stay sober in the last year.

Really? Yeah, it's been real. Because you wanna see it work, and most of the time it doesn't. Yeah. And so when it doesn't work, because I've tried to help, not help, but I've brought a lot of people to meetings.

And that helps. And they, I know, but it's, I don't wanna, but you know, and it doesn't stick, right? And then you kinda get go, oh man, and then you worry about it, and I really get like, especially with comics, I get like codependent in a weird way, and I like, and I kinda obsess about it. It's like, why, what can I, what angle,

you know what I mean? And at the end of the day, it's like, there's nothing you can do. Some people get it and some people don't. You know what I mean? And you happen to be, can I share how it happened? So what happened was over a year ago, my friend Brittany calls me and she goes,

we gotta get Jeff. Right? And I go, why? And it goes, because I go, I just ran into him at the store. He said, look at TMZ. Yeah. Can I say that?

Yeah, you can share it with him. And he, you got a DUI. I got a DUI. Yeah, and it was on TMZ. And then I went, oh fuck. You know what I mean? And I, you know, I hadn't, we hadn't really hung out a lot. Never.

Yeah, I've seen you a million times. A million times. I always knew you were nice to each other, but like, so the next time, did I call you or did I run into you again? You asked, oh, so this is actually kind of funny cause I never told you a million times a million times. I always knew you were nice to each other But like so the next time I call you or do I run into you again you ask? Oh, so this is actually kind of funny. Yeah, you never told you my side of this He invited me to the greatest like a a meeting that ever now I flew back this week to make sure that I walked through the same door on my one year because I came in such like A broken man like that. I was like I want to be here for this like I want to like be with everyone

That's there. So anyways, um, I'm really shook, uh at the comedy store and I'm going my life is being huma- not being huma- everyone's talking about it, like everyone like has an opinion, everyone's texting me, like they're shaming me on the internet, all my comments and all my posts, it was very very rattling for me, really shook my ego and my confidence. I was like, uh'm gonna lose, I'm like, I need help. And but I'm still just drinking going, how am I gonna deal with this DUI? And also your reputation wasn't like, you were like a bad guy, but there was a reputation of you were somebody that did like to drink

a lot. Oh for sure. Huge part of my identity And also, I would do the Bert Kreischer thing. That whole week, I was going, it's not the booze's fault. It's me. I need to work on me. And it was just an excuse to not give up the booze. Yeah, yeah. Because it was such a big part of my identity, and part of coping, and part of masking,

and all these other things. But when you came up to me, because I look, I hope this isn't awkward for you, but I look up you as like, you're up here to me. I like, I've loved your career. I've loved your comedy, I think you're fun. Like you'll try to be serious and I'll laugh. Like he'll say a vulnerable thing and it makes me laugh. He's very funny.

So. Do you have to like blow on that thing? No, no, I got, I never had to do that. Oh, that's good. Yeah, the judge liked me. No, that's good. She did me a good. What are you talking about?

The blow and go for DUI. The blow thing in the car? Oh yeah, yeah. Well, this was only a few days after the DUI and I'm at the comics for a drink. Yeah, we're not there, you know, we passed that part. We're not there yet. My punishment for the DUI? We're still in the early stages of the story. He's trying to be engaged. Oh yeah. Cause I have a friend who has a DUI and she has to blow in the car. What's her first and last name? Good Heimer, you passed the test. Very good. So what I was gonna say is, you came up to me,

and so like I said, I don't know you real good, I just know of you and we're nice to each other and whatever, you came up to me, you go, can I talk to you for a second? And I was like, oh great, which, did I DM his girlfriend or something, what the fuck did I do? Like I was literally thinking,

like do I sleep with the same girl as, I was just going through my head, like what if I I was literally thinking like, do I sleep with the same girl? I was just going through my head like what the fuck? It would be an honor if I could get the same girl you had, okay? It would be a fucking honor, dude. I'm getting Jeff Di Pussy. But just you wanting to talk to me in private maybe. There's a couple of girls that I tried and you did and I'm still mad about it, but anyway. I'm going, he came over here to tell me like, Emily doesn't want me on the property or something.

I was like, what could he possibly be pulling me aside for? Yeah. And it was so kind the way you invited me to this meeting. How would I say? You just said, listen, I don't want to put anything on you. I'm not saying you have a problem or anything, but like, if you want to go to a meeting, we would love to have you at this. It was just the most gracious, I was in the church, very high-pressure sales. You need Jesus, you know? And you did it in such like a nice way.

Because it's, you have to do it by attraction. You can't force it down. It was thrown, so it's just like, you throw it out there. You know, so I threw it out there, and then I didn't think you would buy it, but you did. I came, I said, what the hell, yeah. And, and, you came and so the look that you had, the way you looked, and the way you looked beaten. Yeah, I was defeated for sure. But you also looked like you were done

and were willing to try a different way. Yeah, for sure. And I knew that look, because I've been there myself, and to see somebody go, and go, all right, I'm God, I did it my way for so long, and I'm here, and I'm willing to be vulnerable, and I'm willing to be humble, and I'm asking for guidance, kind of a thing.

And it was just really, there's a couple of guys in our room be humble and I'm asking for, you know what I mean, guidance kind of a thing. And it was just really, just really, you know, there's a couple of guys in our room that are like that, that I have just, you know, this, you know, emotional bond to because it's like not only we're alcoholics, but you also work comics is a very difficult business and you're very successful. We also want to be better. We want to be better. That was what it was most.

Yeah. Every time I've misrepresented myself in the last 20 years. It's because I just got drunk and I go fuck it I'm gonna go tell this bitch off or I'm gonna go like tell this booker never again. Fuck you It's always this kind of cowboy whiskey Mentality which I think is cool in the moment and then later I go and that's not me like I'm a nice guy and like I She didn't deserve that or he didn't deserve that. And it's always the boos. So when I came in there, it was actually funny, I don't know, hopefully I'm not sharing too much. I saw a few girl comics that are in the meeting, roll their eyes and go, great, now Jeff dies in here.

Like, I came to their safe place, I'm ruining their safe place. But after I shared, I was so broken, and I was crying out to God, just saying, I want to be different. I need to get rid of this out of my life. That they came up to me, even after that sharing, and were like, we're happier here. It immediately was like, oh, he's not just here to network or something. He wants to be here. I was really grateful, and I love that meeting. It's a good one. Me and my my friend Brittany, who's a comic, we were like, because we're going to meetings and stuff and we just wanted to come up with a space for comedians. So it's a nice, safe space. Do you play the Belly Room at all? I played it with Jeremiah Watkins a few weeks ago for his, it's like a show where they shout out suggest yeah yeah do you like that room I love it yeah yeah it was great but I've

only I've only played it like twice ever in my life so I don't know if I like I don't have enough reps to know if I like that so you just got a year yes how do you feel now amazing yeah everything's a lot better it is healthy too so yeah thank you thanks my man what do you think like he looked like before yeah what you think you look like before dead Yeah, what'd you think he looked like before, dude? Defeated. Yeah, you didn't fucking know. He's listening. Dude, shut the fuck up.

You didn't know that. He was a broken man. He said it. What are you doing, dude? He's like a stenographer. He goes, he looked broken and defeated. You had no opinion about him. Oh my.

You just, I can't believe you, dude. Bobby, he also didn't have a blow and go from his G.A. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have no opinion about him. You just, I can't believe you do. Bobby, he also didn't have a blow and go from his GF. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have a question. Yeah, go ahead. Is the meeting rehab, like therapy? It's Alcoholics Anonymous. What is it?

Alcoholics Anonymous. Yeah. And you have to go there every month, week? No, no, no, no. I don't have to go at all. It's all voluntary. Okay, so you don't know anything about it? Okay, well, let's just do a quick run through.

Have we talked about this already? A little bit. Yeah, yeah. I don't know if the listeners want to hear it, but there's meetings going on in LA probably almost 24 hours a day. Yeah. In every city.

In every city, okay. It's free. And people, anywhere between one day of sobriety to people with 50 years of sobriety, they all go. There's also people lying. Sometimes people will just say they're clean and you're like, that guy's not clean, but it's not for me to judge. Like you'll just see a guy shaking and he's like, I got 30 days. You're like, no, you don't. You don't even have 30 seconds. And some meetings are different, but mostly, you're either in, there's a speaker

and there's people watching it like you would be at a church. Sometimes the meetings are in a circle where everyone shares. There's different formats and whatnot. But the whole idea of it is to be around your people. I mean, there's other spiritual principles and stuff and the steps and all that stuff to do some inside work.

Did you grow up religious at all or like in a church or anything? No, but I'm just curious, because my mom was a meth addict and I don't think she had that. It was just locked up in her room and then she. Oh, but was she not aware of it or, yeah? In the Philippines, what they did was

they tied her to a fucking radiator, shaved her head. Oh my God. Yeah, they're really kind. Yeah, very kind and she was there for like 90 days. Hey, if it works, you know. I mean, it did work. More about results. Yeah, yeah.

No, that bald chick looks better. Yeah. She's getting healthier. Yeah, but you know, yeah, sometimes that works, but for the most part, before 1935 in this country, in the world, most alcoholics and drug addicts just died from their disease. There was no, unless you were a part of the Oxford group

or some religious affiliation, sometimes people could do it straight through religion, but for the most part, AA isn't a religion. You can find your own God. I call it church because, I mean, you said you didn't grow up religious, but like, you don't need to go to church to have like a relationship with Jesus or God. Like, you can just do your own thing. Some people go, I don't need church. You go, that's fine. But what makes church good is that you have, you see the people in your neighborhood, or you see the people, and you could hang out with them, you could do a Bible study, you could

go get lunch with them, or you just kind of have this thing in common. That's the whole point of church. If you're showing up to church and not talking to anyone leaving, what are you doing? Just coming to see a free speech? Like it's about the community. So it is like a nice community. Like we'll get coffee after, or someone will say, yeah, like are you struggling? Like call me, or community.

But that's also, we have comics, so we're comics as well, so there's like a double kind of a thing. Yeah, it's been beautiful. I didn't know it existed either. And now that I've went, I mean, like, I've needed this way sooner. That's my only regret is that I didn't do it. Anyway, congratulations, and uh.

I have a question. Yeah. What? I just have a curious question. Go ahead. Yeah, go ahead. Built for your rent, rent for your built B I L T built. Listen up, everybody. Renters especially ever feel like you're stuck in the loop of rent payments.

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Yeah, go ahead. Well, you guys feel would you guys feel disrespected and like somebody in like in the group, yawned at your stories? No. No. Okay. So what you're saying is that he mentioned church because I used to sleep in church like... Yeah, you can do that. Hold on, hold on. Just kidding. But I, you know, like... If you did it loud, yeah. Yeah, like that would be so disrespectful. I think in any scenario when someone's talking and that sound

occurred, I think there would be a problem. Yes. Especially, especially a that's a safe place for you guys. Yeah Yeah, I know what's this guy yawning about? That's what I'd say. Yeah, I mean Do you know how to yawn quietly? Yeah, do you on like that? So yeah and restaurants. I guess No, I we wait how this guy get on your We waited All like that cuz they wouldn't wait our table so okay they need to get my I guess the intent of the yawn is what's important Are you yawning cuz my story is boring or you yawning just cuz you have to yawn No, it's cuz so you said church and I remember yawning loud at church one time and the priest stopped and to address me

Like go get cup of water go get some chocolate yeah don't sleep in there yeah I mean one time um there was a guy named Clancy he's like a legend in AA right was speaking and some little girl like girl but high school I don't know what she was but there was a couple of teenage alcoholics watch looking at a Vogue magazine while he's talking while he's talking to his feet right and I remember him stopping and just leaning in on it. Yeah, maybe he should have. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I do think that's another good part about it, like I don't have my phone on when I'm at AA. I actually can like listen to someone. But how the show's been, because you go on the road a lot, you're headlining, you know what I mean? Is it harder, I mean, is there temptation out there? I mean, what's going on out there?

Yeah, I feel like before the show and after the show, I like, you know, it does take the edge off a nice drink You know, so like there's it rears its head, but then the show is so much better when I don't yeah I used to have like great first shows and then the second show would be to me just hammered up there like, you know You look cute like just talking to someone And so the place the early show people like why is any more famous on the late show people like we want our money back And so the early show people were like, why is it anymore famous? And all the late show people were like,

we want our money back. The guy's drunk. So it's just been all positive with occasional me going, God, I would like a drink and I'll text someone or I'll just tell, you know. It's also you, you're better about maybe hooking up too. Oh, for sure. I don't have any.

So have you hooked up with anybody on the road since you've been sober? Nobody that I wouldn't want to. Oh, that's a yeah yeah yeah yeah. Yeah, there was no like, I'm just doing this because I can. But you had before. Before I would. Oh yeah yeah yeah.

Oh for sure, you just find who's the hottest chick here. Yeah yeah yeah. And that's my target. If that doesn't work, we'll figure out plan B. Right. Whereas now it's like. You can pass. Yeah, and I'll even enjoy, do you enjoy going to your hotel sometimes after the show?

I love it. That's all I do. Oh well I used to like look for the bar and if that's closed down all right Let's find a strip club, and oh that's what you guys want to smoke cigars in the parking lot I was always pursuing the more hang yeah And now I'm like it wouldn't be bad to just watch YouTube and sit in my bed Do I when I in my second show I think to myself what am I gonna watch tonight? Yeah, that's great right, so I think I'm gonna watch and then I always have somebody drive me to either a

You know, like what do you call it a bodega? Yeah, you like cigars? Yeah, you do. I love bodegas too though I mean and I like to get like fancy French cookies and biscuits I always get a fruit right some fruit, right? I always get a variety of beverages like a seltzer, and maybe some electrolyte drink, or a probiotic drink, right? And then I'll get like, always get meat. Like raw meat? He needs us to agree with his snacks. No, no, no, that's what I'm saying.

Probiotics, you know, like a probiotic. No, what I'm saying is like, you know, deli meat, like salami and stuff like that, so I can chew on, right? And then I sit at, there's always a desk in the room. So I set everything up, right? And I always have a spit cup for my dip. And I put on that movie and it's the best.

It's the best, yeah, it's a great feeling. And also you've got money, so you don't have to worry about how much the snacks are gonna get, like you can just splurge. I always go like, I can get 10 snacks. Do you worry about it? I used to worry about it, not anymore. when's the last time you worried about it last time I worried about money was 2008 yeah yeah I would lived in a car and then I went

from they just started handing us checks with an extra zero and I was like a thousand dollars I couldn't believe yeah yeah it was like it's we're getting I Yeah, I agree yeah, yeah, yeah, that was a degree laugh Yeah, I'll take it better than a yawn, you know Yeah, I know I know you feel me. Yeah, yeah, I don't make do you remember how poor I was so poor Yeah, I was good. That's what made this I know but for years of that where you you were like How am I gonna eat? And then you would straight you know what when you're I mean probably love probably listening right now Are having some financial problems, and I'm telling you I thought it was gonna be like that my whole life sure you know

I mean because it's like It's it you feel in your body to your neck hurts you're stressing out I used to call relatives like hey can you help out I would call Carlos Mencio oh my god how much did he give you what do you hope yeah he was always give me like a couple hundred bucks good guy yeah yeah or Polly would go like here's 20 dude dude. You know what I mean? I mean. And you'd always remember. It's gonna be fine. Yummy 20, like eight months later. Yummy 20, dude.

Like, you remember that? But, yeah. Well, like, also I do wanna say too, like, I was poor poor. People use the word poor wrong nowadays. Okay, wait, what's poor poor? Like, literally not knowing, like, I would spend most of my week

trying to charm the girl at Wells Fargo to get rid of my overdraft charges Oh, oh, wow like it'll work Sometimes but after a while they go dude. We could see your account you do this. Yeah time Yeah, I'm saying like poor poor regal I have to borrow money to eat or I need to like I'm like I would hook up with a girl just to have a place To sleep Wow. Yeah, like I don't know like otherwise I'm gonna wow. We share that power Well, no most yeah, crash on a buddy's couch. Yeah, as long as't know. But like otherwise I'm going to. Wow. Which has that power. Well, no, most of the time I crash on a buddy's couch. Yeah.

As long as you leave early enough. You know, so my girlfriend doesn't see or whatever. Or I would sleep in the back of a Volkswagen Jetta, like at a cemetery, because I'd be like, no one's going to make me move my car. So I just sleep in the back. Wow. Because some people go, I'm poor. And then they get like during Covid, they get the check from the government and they buy like baseball cards

you're like dude that's not you're not poor yeah yeah you buy a guitar with your government money like that's insane yeah yeah poor is yeah I had real poor let me I want to ask you a uncomfortable question yeah if I may go ahead um hey before you start okay wait okay good timing oh stop stop stop all stop. Good timing. All right. Before we get off the topic. No, okay, so what I'm saying is to you Jaime, right? Number one, you're doing a great job today. Oh, that's nice.

Okay. And number two, you're not really interrupting. You could just say it. Right. You're part of the show. None of this question is like, well, I understand. She started it, the question thing.

You're part of the show, yeah. I mean, she has her own style. What are you doing right now? Nothing. She's just in the World Series. What's going on here? Nothing! No, what were you doing? I have a question own style. What are you doing right now? No, what were you doing? I have a question. What was your go-to poor people food? Oh I always worked at restaurants. So we would go

You know try to trade drugs with the Mexicans back there to make us some good food. Mmm. You know, give them some weed or you'd give them, you'd say, hey, you know, Bridget's bartending, I can bring you like a bottle of something if you just make me some food. Did you try just oil and rice? No, I don't cook. No. Oil and rice. I do cereal and stuff. He doesn't live in the killing fields.

You know what I mean? That was my poor people food. Oh, that was her food. Oh really? Okay. Yeah. Like 1960s Cambodia. I was also on a Volkswagen Jetta. I don't know how to make rice. There's no kitchen bag there.

Oil and rice? Yeah. Wow, okay. Or like salt, vinegar, and then rice. So how do you make that dish? You just mix everything. That's it. But you'd eat that all the time or are you just saying some people would?

You would. Yeah. But did you boil the rice? I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. I would. and then rice. Oh, so how do you make that dish? You just mix everything. That's it. Yeah, but you'd eat that all the time or are you just saying some people would?

You would. Yeah. But did you boil the oil? I don't know how, how do you make it? You just get oil. You make the rice first? Yeah, make rice and then you get oil. And vinegar. And vinegar or just oil and rice.

Peanut butter, can you put peanut butter in it? Peanut butter was too expensive. Oh wow. I do think, me and Ari, my friend here, we'll go get coffee all day and then kind of forget to eat. Like just the whole day. So I wonder if- Are you guys best friends? He's like a little brother to me.

Do you remember Ari? I do. He did our B Cam before. I remember that. In the old house. I ate Taco Bell with you in your car, remember? We ate Taco Bell together. Yeah, you remember that.

I do. I do remember. What a pleasant memory. Good to see you again, Ari, right? Ari, am I pronouncing that correctly? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good to see you again. But I think that's where that started.

I'd just have coffee and then be like, I guess I'm not hungry Go ahead. He's been dying So like what do you consider poor cuz like a year ago I was sleeping on my mom's couch and like before that I was sleeping like my mom's couch from two years. Yeah, that's poor couch You're grown up over there, right? Yeah. Yeah, that's poor. Have you ever pooped in the forest? Great question.

Great follow-up question. There's always public restaurants that I can. Okay, okay. So you're not that poor. Again, it's not fucking 19th century Cambodia. What do you think I grew up? I don't even know where a forest is. All right, what forest did you poo in?

In my village, and we would just go there and our toilet paper was there. Is it a forest or a jungle? What's the difference? Maybe, eh. It was a small jungle. Yeah. How does that work?

Weren't you afraid lions would smell your poop and come eat your poop? No lions. Yeah, what's in your jungle? Panthers? No, monitor lizard. Gross. Gross. Bats. Okay, that's gross. Have you seen a Filipino bat before? No. Oh my god. Dude, look up the big Filipino bat. This is not even a CGI. This is a real bat. Yeah, it's a real Filipino bat.

I think they're flying Filipinos. How long are they? That's my theory. Just tiny. No, they're not tiny dude. They're just little Filipinos that have... Tiny Filipinos that have... Oh my god. Holy fuck dude. You're like, you've seen this in real life? Yeah.

That's insane. Look at that fucker. I don't like that man. Look at the one on the right. She's holding him like it's friendly. Yeah, yeah. I don't think you'd let me do that. Anyway, so that's...

There's no... There's no violence. There's no any kind of... Well, in where I live, no. If you were this poor and you were in the Philippines, how happy are you now? You must be so happy. Very happy.

Makes me really happy to hear. Yeah. You do? What? It makes you happy? It does. I love our country. And just the idea that she's here with a celebrity

doing a podcast every week, however often you do this. She used to live with bats and shit in the woods like because I hear these stories and it's usually someone's parents or someone's parents but Jeff this is you you actually shit in the woods with John But Jeff! But Jeff! But Jeff! She's not grateful! What are you saying? She complains! She doesn't give a shit, dude! She's ungrateful! That's the thing with her, okay? Why? What are you like? I'm grateful!

No, she's not. She hates it. Yeah, man, I can't imagine going from vinegar and rice. I know, I know, I know. She must sit at Chipotle like, look at this. Yeah. Chipotle's really good. Really good. I'm grateful for where I'm at. Yeah?

Yeah. A year ago, like, I was sleeping on my mom's couch. Yeah, yeah, you're not on the couch. Very good, very good. And now I get to meet my hero. Yeah, by the least of men. I'm your hero? You're my hero?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Nice. Do comedy now? Yeah, we're family, dude. Do comedy? Yeah, yeah. I love that. Yeah.

You've been a very integral part of my podcast as of late. You know how Chrissy D had that trans woman on his podcast that just chimed in with nonsense? This is like your trans life. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're Bobby's trans lady. He's my X Factor. But you're a huge part of it.

X Factor, he's an X Factor. You know, you're a fun guy. What do you do? Do you stand up also? Yeah, I've only been doing it a year now. Oh, that's great. Did you just get a little upset when he said that no the little thing? No, I say yeah I've been doing it a year now. That's great. You know

There's no resentment. They called you checks. Oh, no, you're that element. You're that special element You know that you're that element, right? I guess yeah, I'm grateful. Yeah, I'm grateful to do Yeah, I get checks for thousands. No more couches. Well congratulations pal. I have my apartment. What do you do for fun? Edit photos and videos. He keeps saying he likes having sex with his girlfriend.

Well I haven't had sex. I haven't had sex prior to this. Oh nice. In like a long time. Yeah, anyway She really threw you know He likes having sex with his girlfriend just threw him under the buzz Cuz I haven't had sex in one. Yeah, you're okay Any any

Very good. Thank you so much for that insight Jaime. And thank you for the question. You know, so let's move on. Does it bother you, Jeff, people say that you're handsome or no? No, it makes me happy. But do you think you're handsome? I think that I'm handsome for a comedian, yeah. Oh, that's good. Oh, that's an oldie.

That's you? Yeah, those are fake tattoos obviously. You would look good with tattoos like that. This photo was a real mistake, by the way. So what happened was I was working out a bunch. And when I say a bunch, it was like three weeks in a row. So I'm like, look at me. Results, you know?

So then I had a photo shoot lined up for a project. And I go, hey, man, I've been working out a bunch. Is there any way you could take a photo of me with my shirt off? And the guy's like, yeah. And so he did top lighting like at the gym. So, you know, really helps accent like any muscles you have. And then I sat on that photo for like two months, like, how do I post this organically

where it's not going to. Oh yeah. That may be. Yeah. Yeah. And there's before all that Photoshop, that actually makes it look like a funny image. I posted this without any of the stuff on it. And I wrote some like kind of pithy kind of like, I shouldn't be any of the stuff on it. And I wrote some kind of pithy, kind of like,

I shouldn't be ashamed of how I look, you know, this kind of thing. This is how you do it. And all the comics were like, is Jeff okay? Like, what is this, what is he doing? This is what you do, you call me, and I post it, right, and I make fun of you. Oh yeah.

Like, look at this fucking, right? And then you repost it, go, look at Bobby's making fun of me about this thing. That's great. Right? That's how you do it. That was how I should have. What's this? This is me sumo wrestling in I think that's Korea.

What the fuck? In Korea. Wait wait. What the fuck are you doing dude? I was in Asia for like three almost two and a half months. Yeah. Oh my god. That guy ruined it.

What are you doing? This might be Kyoto Japan actually. Yeah yeah yeah it's Kyoto. What are you you really sue boy? I really sue my I'm like so gassed because they put me against these big fat guys And they're like well of course there's humos, but like I want it once one guy was like I'm not doing this anymore They put a new guy in I assume a wrestled three guys for like four hours Wow really fun Your show I was for a better length than ever they never ended up using any of it. Oh wow yeah But it was they were like this will be funny put Jeff out there. Well that's fun that you got to travel and shit. I got to see Asia for almost

three months. Wow. It was beautiful. You went to Korea too? We didn't go to Philippines yeah Korea, China, well Hong Kong. What's your favorite? What's your favorite? What's your favorite? I love Thailand. Okay why? It sounds mean or it might be sounding sensitive but it feels like Asian Mexico I like the people that are happy to be alive. They don't have a lot of money Go to the Philippines. Is it even more? No. Yeah. Oh, well, I like it. Everyone in Thailand seems happy Why they're not all pissed off that they're not rich in America. Everyone's mad if they're not rich like can you believe this? I'm broke. You're like so what why Mexico? I love Mexico. I love Mexican culture and I could

Anyway, um, I I too love Thailand but some of the outdoor Because I remember eating at an outdoor place and there were just all these flies a lot of flies You know me but it was like you could see I've made meat hanging outside Yeah, right and all these flies. And maybe I'm just too, but I just couldn't do it. Really? Yeah, so I only ate at this one Shabu Shabu place that was inside.

OK, yeah. And that was near my hotel. But, um. What part of Thailand were you in? Like, North or South? I know, just Bangkok area. Oh, OK, Bangkok. I was shooting a movie.

But, um. Bangkok's the real city part. Did you do, what else did you do there? So there's a, they love kickboxing. I know nothing about it, but we would go each night I'd get we had to bring some make friends drink beer watch these guys kickbox Wow There's also like it's a tourist thing, but I'm a tourist You'd go to like the you pay some amount of money and they would take you to all these beautiful islands And there's one island called Monkey Island that was like my... Everyone wanted to leave and... What's Monkey Island? It's just this island full of monkeys. Oh, wow. And they go crazy. Your boat just gets near it, they all start jumping

in the boat. And I thought it'd be funny. My girlfriend didn't think it was funny. None of the other tourists thought it was funny. But I just kept asking the tour guide as we've moved on. He's like, all right, and we're going to go to Pepe Island, which you've seen on The Bachelor and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, on Monkey Island, do they have like one leader? And they're like, no, they don't have a leader. Just a bunch of wild monkeys. And then he would go into the thing and I'd be like,

on Monkey Island, do you feel like some of the monkeys are mad at some of the larger monkeys? I just kept asking monkey questions. Yeah, it was fun. You know what's so funny about you too? You have a really funny, because sometimes you will walk into the meeting and you just have a funny... even when you're not saying anything, you just have this funny presence. Thank you, yeah.

But are you like that in like public buses, trains and stuff like that? Life's supposed to be fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fun. You're a fun guy. There's another one of the things about my friend here. Who's your Ari? Yeah. Well, and also the other guys in my life like Ari so so like if something is good

We should be happy and if something sucks, that's hilarious. Like it's like something bad happened to us. Isn't that funny? Look what's happening. We have to walk like I think that's funny. Oh, I see when I was a kid I remember it rained at the bus stop. Yeah, and everyone was like oh my new clothes and I was like, isn't this great? We're all wet Oh, so you're Mr. Positive. What I don't mean to be, it's just more fun that way. I go to school, like look, we're all wet. This is hilarious. So let's say you and I were in the same platoon.

We're in Vietnam, right? That'd be a tough one to be a fox. Yeah, and we're in a foxhole, right? We haven't slept in three days. We just killed those guys. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's how you do it.

Yeah, just be like. Oh, and I go, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's good. Wow, I get it. I don't know how you do it. And I go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, that's good. Wow, I get it. I don't know how to do that. Did you shot that guy while eating Doritos? Oh, right. Oh, wow.

That could be fun. Oh, so that's very good. Yeah, yeah. So I have another question for you, and this is gonna be a difficult one. Hold on to your horses. I'm ready. How difficult was it to take notes from Mike Young?

Ha ha! Yeah, I got a movie coming out that Mike Young made called Stealing Jokes. Now, I'm going to talk about Mike Young right now. OK, yeah. And not in a favorable light. OK. OK.

Good. For the last, I would say, six years, he's been harassing me. Oh, really? Like in a bad, he's been harassing me. Really, like in a bad way? I love him. But it's all about, I'll see him at the store, he'll grab me, push me against the wall,

and goes, how come you put me on Tiger Belly? Really? Yeah, yeah. Against a wall? Yeah, he's been so obsessed about being on this podcast. Really? Yeah, and he can't, and it got to the point where it's like, now I being on this podcast. Really? Yeah.

And he can't, and it got to the point where it's like, now I can't have him. Now I don't want you. Yeah, now I can't have him on, right? That's wild, yeah. And so we did give him a day to promote the movie that you're in, but then he couldn't do it because he's on the road. So that worked out perfect for you, didn't it? Yeah, yeah.

But it was, and I have to say, I have to know the thing is that Mike is one of my longest dearest friends, but He's been driving me crazy lately. So what was like, is he, do you trust his notes? I trust his notes, but like occasionally we would ask for like an explanation for something and he'd Mike Young it, you know We'd be like why would the character do this? He's like yo, man. That's just how he is, you know, like I'm like Explanation. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you know, so there was little moments like that But I learned pretty quickly similar to like Costanza and like Larry David, oh, I'm playing Mike Young in this. Ah. Because he's like a cool Detroit guy. Yeah. Who sells weed, he's got the chance, like I was dressing like Mike Young every day. Yeah. And I was like, oh, so I'll just kind of try to do my best to like have the sensibilities of like Mike Young in this situation. I think as he's writing the script, he's thinking, here's what I'd have done here. He's also the type of guy in the 90s when we were all poor.

I met him at the Comedy Store. Poor comic, white comic. But then one day, I would just be out at night, he'd show up with Leo. Oh, yeah, yeah. And Tobey Maguire and Mark Wahlberg and all those guys. And he was just, one of those guys, oh yeah, I just played hockey with Bruckenheimer. You're like, what he yeah, he was always the kind of guy that just kind of hung out with yeah

You just know Hollywood and I'm like he's okay funny He was just always a guy that was in the mix yeah, well I say like so if you don't know who he is He's a comedian, but he is a good man Like like his mom would be on set most days. We would have a nice dinner at his brother's. He was just a good... Oh, you shot in Detroit then? Yeah, we shot in Detroit.

Wow. And he's just such a good, good, good person. I really enjoy his company. I trust him as a man. He's a guy I would be like, I'd let my kids, you know, stay, like I trust him. Which is hard to say in Hollywood. You don't think so? I guess so.

I guess you're right. He was good. Yeah, no, he is a good guy. I love him so much. I didn't know he was slamming against walls and demanding to be... No, he was just like, he just wanted, you know, and I'm going to, we're going to get him out, I told you told I called you and I said we got to get him out So um the movie is about let me guess cuz I have the trailer okay. It's about a Crew of comedians yep you you're Barra. Oh Yeah, doesn't I Barry? Yeah, love him. Yeah. He's great great guy and What was there haha Davis very successful comedian from Detroit?

And then a woman named Ryu who who's the female lead. She's an actress. And she's Asian? She lied to us. She told us she's a comedian and then when he was like we're gonna go on tour to do comedy she's like I don't know what I'd do. We're like we thought you were a comedian. Oh, is she a comedian? Is she Asian? She's Asian, yeah. What kind? Um, I don't know. Okay. Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. Fair enough. Is Ryu a Japanese name? It's pretty Japanese to me. Yeah, I think it's probably Japanese. And so it's all four comedians, you rob a comedy club? Yeah, so what happens is like things just kind of escalate and get out of hand. That wasn't the plan. And then like one thing just kind of falls into another and then they get like, they go, I can't believe we just did that thing.

And then a bad thing happens. It just keeps snowballing into like how are we going to get ourselves out of it. Wow. Yeah. You got Rappaportz in it? Rappaportz was great. Yeah yeah. Who else is in it? There it is. Yeah so Ha Davis, Rappaportz got pretty good billing for only being on set one day. Yeah. But he's famous. Put him on the cover. I don't think Ryu rong rong rong, Yang Yang is the lead. Looks like you're the lead okay Yang Yang? She's the female lead. I know but you're looking who's the first guy. I know, that's pretty nice. Not Yang Yang. I wish that Haha was in the front, because he's the most successful guy.

Haha Davis? Is he the most successful? Yeah, I think so. Well, I mean, he's pretty prevalent there. I mean, it's like, you know. I love Haha. Yeah. Ybarra's at the very end there.

Love him. Also, like Detroit really made me... Detroit and Atlanta really changed my perspective on a lot of things why? Like Midwestern black guys and Georgia black guys are different than like LA black guys. Oh, I want to know the difference Yum, yum, yum. Yum. No, yeah, but just like in my mind. It's like like There's all sorts of different types of people. You know I'm saying like that's what it taught me Okay, you could have ten white guys on a show and it could still be a diverse show because one's maybe Democrat, one's maybe gay, one's maybe... So like diversity is

more complex than just race and gender. Sure. And so like I've kind of like, you know, like when I was in Georgia, like all the black people, they're like southern, like church black people. Yeah. Oh, this is totally different than when I was shooting a project in Detroit. In Detroit there was like a lot of like black nerdy guys. They'd wear like a $400 jacket, but it was like rugrats. And you're like, I've never seen this black guy. Or you see like a guy, like a Mexican guy, MS-13, you have tattoos on the neck. Totally different.

Tattoo on the eyeball, right? And just fucking, you know, tough, right? As nails, right? And then you got- Yeah, sweet guy over here. You got a putt-pudge. Why aren't you a Ch sweet guy over here yeah why are you a cholo yeah I was raised different man yeah could you be hard if we were like you know I don't think so much try it right now play scenario yeah right now ready and you know you're gonna spend us no yeah whatever you

robbed me yeah go ahead and walk up actually hey what's up fool hey fuck off man you fool she's a pretty he's got a gun. Oh you have a gun? no guys doing this shut up nerd yeah yeah yeah just do this then like a bazooka yeah put a fucking Wolverine claws just put the money on top of my arms I'm holding two guns yeah yeah yeah I'm never alone if you're gonna my man oh you have your imaginary on the back yeah yeah okay smart smart well tell me who's in your gang, dude. Explain. Introduce her right here.

Navish. What? David. Navish and David. Davis. Davis. Little Tommy. Little Tommy.

Little Tommy. Yeah, yeah. These guys sound real. Homegirl Julie. Julie, yeah. Really good. And we're gonna take your money. Okay, anyway, stop doing that, sir.

You need to be on medication, okay? We are gonna move on. So the the movie when does it come out? Oh the I think the movies out for pre-order right now, but I'm not sure the date that it comes out I have a special coming out November 14th. Also, we're not at that. Oh, sorry. Sorry. I Just knew the dates. I got excited. I knew the date Jeff. I'm your friend Yeah, and we're gonna plug whatever you want to plug. You're the best, but we're not at the specials plug part yet Yeah, my bad. Okay, the movie comes out soon When the pre-ordered already on Apple and so um

No, no when you do you see it have I seen the movie? Yeah, I've seen the parts that I've seen most of it Yeah, yeah, I think I saw the edit before the fire. Is there a screening I hope you're screaming, but if there is I'm I'll definitely be there. I don't know when it is. No, I want to go. Yeah, come. Yeah, I think I should go. Yeah, Michael Young will definitely have you. Yeah, yeah, I want to go and watch it. But, so you saw bits of it, and it looked, you know, from the trailer, I'm like, it looked pretty good. Shot beautifully. It shot beautifully, you know what I mean? And I'm so, you know, I guess at the end of the day, I'm just kind of mad at Mike for never putting me in anything.

Yeah, well, I think that's what it is. That's a good argument for not being on here. Well, you didn't put me in anything. Why would I be on here? Yeah, I think that's what it is. But let's talk about your special now. Let's do it. What's it called?

What's the special? Dang, you got big hands, sir. I know. The special's called, uh. He does. Jules, what do you think about his big hands sir specials called he does Jules what you think about his big hands big hands means big dick big old feet which means big hands big gloves yeah huge cock too and Bobby has small hands like me he's trying to make you guys the same person. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, do it. Let me say something right now. You're out. Alright, so, um, I mean, when you look at your dick, do you think it's big?

Yeah. You do? Yeah. Whoa. That's, what, whoa. Just look at your own hand. Whoa, she's like, whoa. Yeah, yeah. So you look at it and go, you go, it's all just like, it's like being Shaq or something. Like Shaq, he didn't do anything. He's just a big guy. Like I didn't earn it or anything.

It's not like I bought it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was just a perk of being a tall guy. Wow. That's all it is. That's great. Did your dad have one? I don't know. You never asked.

No, no, no. I remember seeing his dick when he'd pee and it was big because I was a little kid. Oh, yeah, sure. Every penis is. And you're going, what the hell is that? Yeah. Now, let me talk to you.

I think we already did that. OK. You, where'd you grow up? Seattle area. So Kent, Washington. OK, so Bellevue. Is that close or no? Bellevue's like the rich area.

We lived like 40 minutes away. Oh, in the poor area. Oh, well, yeah. Kent's like white trash area. And your parents are still together? Mm-hmm. They are now. Yeah. And then, was still together? They are now.

Yeah. And then, was there trauma or was it a great childhood? Was not a... So here's the thing. What a great question. I was not a victim of abuse by any means. They were very nice people. But we were definitely victims of neglect.

They were just never around. And that's kind of what makes a comic, think or at least for me is I was always like Getting into trouble for them to like notice or trying to like draw something like oh, do you like my drawing or hey? This is a funny thing or I'm gonna be in this sport I just wanted them to like notice they wouldn't even show up to sporting events nothing do it This is how bad it was one time I at school I came home and they like we had to get an instrument for music class like in like third grade or something I gave it to my mom is that I picked trumpet

She goes I'm not buying you a trumpet And I think well we have to the class everyone in the class had to pick an instrument and she goes well I'm not buying you one. I picked the cheapest one She goes well We're not doing it so I had to go back to school and go my mom won't do it She goes you have to I got told her that and she goes alright You're just gonna sit by me So my teacher would like read the whole class would be at music and I would just be sitting there because they just didn't do it." She goes, you have to. I go, I told her that. And she goes, all right, you're just gonna sit by me. So my teacher would like read, the whole class would be

at music and I would just be sitting there. Cause they just didn't do anything. There was no doing of anything. That's terrible. It was terrible, but you know, it could be worse. And no, maybe. And then, did you go to college after that? No, no college. And then when did you just stand up?

I got in, so I went from high school, all my friends were at at college and then I was like, I don't know what I'm gonna do Just keep playing PlayStation or something Like my friends would be like, yeah, we have finals this week and I go I got a big big pitching matchup against Kurt Schilling this week on B21 Wow, so and then I was like I always wanted to be a comedian So I was in Young Life. I was a Young Life leader, which she just worked for free. What's a Young Life? It's like a church light. It's like a diet. It's like the entry level for church. Oh, so you're religious. Yeah, I really liked it. Yeah, your parents were religious. They were agnostic, which is kind of why I liked it. That was me rebelling.

Wow, that's so your your parents were agnostic and you kind of a friend probably brought you in. Yeah. Well, and also we were poor. Women too. Women, there were cute girls there. Yeah, cute girls. Yeah, yeah. But also like the church, one thing that's cool about the church, at least where I grew up, I can't speak for all the churches, but like they'd be like, want to go on a ski trip? And I was like, I'm not going to go to a ski trip and my parents won't pay. And they'd

be like, the church will pay for it. And I was like, really? The way they're just going to pay for it? Oh wow. And then they had food, they had snacks, and I was like, this is great. Also the church kids, although nerdier and not as cool or popular at school, they were nicer. They were always like nice and like, you know, like clean. I don't know. They had answers to questions. You were the only child? I was the youngest and the only boy.

They're all women? Yeah, all girls. And they're all older? Are they all, are you close to them? They kind of were like my parents in a way. Because they felt neglect from my parents. Are they hot? They were hot and then they weren't. Well, they got kids.

No, they got bigger. Oh, they're fat. Yeah. Oh, wow. But they do have kids also. That's what happens. Well, what happened was, this is interesting. They wouldn't probably like this very much, but...

I want to know. Do you want to say? We can cut it out if you want. They had the standard... Oh, I don't know. You can keep it. Okay. But they had the standard of a hot chick. Cause they got treated like hot chicks forever. Right.

So then, like, long after they weren't very attractive anymore, at least by a typical standard, still nice women, we'd be at a grocery store and like a guy would come hit on my older sister, and she would treat him terribly. And they'd be like, why'd you do that? She's like, like I'd date that guy. I'm like, I don't know who you think you are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, that guy was a great guy. I'm like, I don't know who you think you are. That guy was a great guy and like how vulnerable it is to hit on a woman at a grocery store. Right, right. She's just like, what a loser. I would never, I'm like, Oh, so sometimes like hot chicks, right? And this is sometimes hot chicks that get

gain weight and they become ugly in her brain, they still have the hot attitude. That must be a very difficult predicament to be in. For sure. My favorite is this, a really fat chick who becomes hot, but they still have fat chick, you know what I mean? That might be better though, cause she's sweet. I like that. Yeah, I like that a lot. Because also that fat chick thinks I'm hot.

Because she still has fat eyes. Bobby, I think- Everything goes through the fat eyes, right? So they're like, yeah, he's hot. But when she's hot now too, you know? I think you're overthinking the looks thing. What the fuck are you saying, dude? I'm saying that women are-

I don't overthink anything, man! Women are pretty cool about being like, he's successful, he makes me laugh, he actually returns texts, he likes me. That goes a long way. Why are you shaking, man? He's choking? Oh choking? oh shoot he's choking that's how he chokes No! No! They're like Bobby's hilarious he's just dead some women are yeah some women are

well they're better than men generally at that some women are I think you know um I don't want to talk about it's like um I like... Um... I guess you're right, you know? Cut to me during that part. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But when you were on last comic stand, did your parents support that or no? Yeah, they were. I mean, what happened was it was like too little, too late. So like once I actually started doing something with my life, my parents, because we're always,

always changing too. So like I don't want to punish my parents now for who they were back then. Yeah, well then why too late or too late then? Now they're just kind of some sweet old people. But like they'd be like, that's our boy we raised. I'm like, you didn't do anything. Trying to show up now. But they did though.

Yeah, here's a shot of them actually. Are you? Yeah, I think they're in the audience here. Let me see, let me see. Put the audio on. Audio. Oh, he looks so different. This is so uncomfortable.

How old were you? It was a long time ago. Put the audio on. Audio. Oh, you look so different. This is so uncomfortable. How old were you? It was a long time ago, dude. 26 or something? I'm 41 now. So yeah. And it was... And your parents were there.

My parents were in the audience and I remember thinking like, what is it? Why are they here? Like, what did they... That's very sad. You liked that they were there. Finally, they show up. Yeah, I wish that was like, wish it had been sooner, you know, if I'm honest. Yeah you know, you know, I told this before but my dad then after I did the Tonight Show, he called when he said, how

much, how much did you pay them? Still talking shit? And I go, no he literally thought that I called NBC and said, I'll give you 10 grand. Can I get it? That'd be more impressive if they don't do that. Because you know, he's from, he didn't know how it works in their mind. They couldn't believe. And then when I got on that TV, you know what I mean? They were like every week, they were like, then they kind of like got it. And they were like, Holy shit. Yeah. I know Yeah, and they were like, holy shit happening. Yeah

I know he hates compliments and public sentiment But you know you but one of my favorite like things that I watch every few months is you and John Cena On that mad TV because someone has it on YouTube and it makes me laugh so fucking hard. Thank you. You're doing that dance Anyway, um dance. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, that's fine, who's Terry's wife, she said to me, hey, did you call your mom for Christmas? And I was like, no. How do you know the Bradshaws? They're fans of yours. That show, we're in Indonesia.

That's a show called Better Late Than Never. And that was with Henry Winkler, William Shatner, Terry Bradshaw, and George Foreman. Wow. And we went to like tons of countries. Oh, so you were there with them. Yeah, I was like, yeah. It was like a really big show.

And so that's kind of when I bonded with Tammy and Terry. They became like parents to me. So Tammy said to me, cause she lost a son that would have been roughly my age. Okay, wait, hold on. This is it. This is actually a funny scene, yeah. And then you're on a tour of us.

There's George Foreman, Henry Winkler. Yep. This is in this Pods hotel. We slept in this Pods. Now was William Shatner complaining the whole time or no? He is a grumpy guy. He is a grumpy guy, right? He's very tough to work with.

Is he? Yeah, he tries so hard to fit out. I'm like, just fit in. Yeah, yeah. Trying so hard to be different. I mean, you're literally on a bus with legends. Yeah, they're awesome. They're cool guys.

Legends of, that's Fonzie. Yeah. Yeah, I have a fucking William Shatner story too, but I'll tell you later. Let's hear it. Tell you later, man. Well, so the Henry Winkler you later. Let's hear it. Tell you later, man. Well, so the Henry Winkler thing. You want to hear it?

Oh, no, the Terry Bradshaw thing. Yeah, yeah, tell me. So Tammy lost a son that would have been my age. And so she was like, hey, just go call your mom. She was like, I would give anything for like one more conversation. Please just go call your mom. So I step outside of their billion dollar ranch

and I call my parents and the phone rings And I'm having the inside the ranch so I can see the family sitting or they're eating everyone's drinking eggnog It's like this beautiful Norman Rockwell setting and I call my mom. She answers. She's like hello. I was like hey Merry Christmas She's like hey, and I was like what are you guys doing? She goes I mean your dad or just kind of wishing nobody would bother us And I was like alright. Well, She goes, I mean your dad or just kind of wishing nobody would bother us. And I was like, all right, well you know, all right, good, just Merry Christmas, just want to call. They go, okay. And then I hung up and I walked back in. I was like, that's why I didn't call. Like they're just so aloof. You know, like a

kid wants their mom and dad to love them. That's what they want. That is probably one of the saddest things. That really me down. Yeah it was it hurts you know like do you remember when the Boston bomber oh yeah my favorite bomber what his mom went on the news and and she was like she was like he's a he's a good kid you know him and his brother like they just kind of got into this thing he just murdered people in public well when I saw it on San Yara what does the San Yara I don't know his name anyway but I remember seeing that I He just murdered people in public. Well, okay. When I saw it on TV. Was it the Sanyari? I don't know his name.

Anyway, oh. But I remember seeing that and I wept because I was like, man, this woman's willing to defend her son after all that. I can't get my mom to care at all. Like, that's what a mother's love is. Is your dad like that too? They're both very aloof. Yeah, they're both very like, they don't care much.

So it's like it hurts. It's like neglect, you know? It's a different type of stuff. But you, you care. I wish, yeah. No, I think you do. I mean, I've seen you be vulnerable. Yeah. So I think you... so is that hereditary?

I hope not. I don't think it is. Well, I think the positive was, the positive I get from it is that when you see like a kid who doesn't have like parents that are really doing all that stuff Then everyone else steps up So I kind of got like my friends parents would always be like let that dirty boy Jeff like stay over for dinner Or like coaches would go hey, man You want to stay after and so like you you'd kind of everyone kind of overcompensates if you're in the right circles Yeah for that. So that was a positive. I kind of got a bunch of parents Yeah, another thing I want to say about my life is similar to that

But it's like for some reason early on in my life my parents aren't spiritual people, right? And I was never taught spirituality, right? But I remember when I was 17 years old I had a spiritual awakening. Nice. And I was very open to anything like that, you know what I mean? Yeah. And I was never really raised religiously. I don't know anything about it. Right. I just had one, you know And I you know and in my mind it's like I thought maybe that's not hereditary being open to spirituality Yeah, and maybe being empathy like having be connected to your emotions and being open in that way Yeah, it's not hereditary because I think that if you had children you would do it the opposite way probably. Yeah

I think you know for sure like well, I think it's like, you can have heroes, right? You want to be like those heroes. You can pick all your heroes. That's the best part about life is you can go, I want to be like that guy. And you can do it. But then also you can look at people and go, I don't want to be like that. And so as much as I love my mom and dad and I yearn for their acceptance, I can go, I'm never going to do that.

I'm not going to make people feel invisible and I'm not gonna do those things. So you can have kind of anti-heroes. But is your parents, your sisters, you said have children, right? Yeah, they're all. Are they good grandparents? They're great, oh no, they're not. Very aloof, no.

No, no, no. Oh, so I was talking, my sister's a good parent. Oh yeah, no, yeah. But no, they're not good grandparents. They'll actually complain, like my niece was like five and they're like, she just brings her over here and leaves her. You're like, yes, you're the grandparent.

No, you gotta be kidding me. I swear to you. They're just disconnected that way. I think also with boomers, like maybe I shouldn't put this on all boomers, but at least my parents, they loved being married. They were happy. They had kids because that's what you do. You know, it wasn't like they were like, someday we'll have kids. It's like, what else are you gonna do? You have some kids. You know, like they weren't going,

I can't wait to be mom of the year. She was just going, that's what families do. They just have kids. Well, okay, if you were destitute, would they help you? I don't know what destitute means. No, let's say like, you don't know what it means. You were like, you're broke, you're desperate.

Oh, okay. You're, you know, and you needed like a couple hundred bucks. Yeah, no way. There's zero chance. Wait, wait. If you showed up in their house in Seattle, and go, mom, it's snowing. Right. They'd let me sleep there. Oh, they would? Yeah, they would do that. And you said, can I eat the food, some food?

Well, if they had any at their house, they would, yeah. But if you said... But if it cost that, like they wouldn't let me borrow money There's zero chance. No if you said I need it, you know a couple hundred bucks. Yeah, they wouldn't do it at all At all. There's your chair. Yeah zero chance and also they pat themselves on the back by being like it's tough Love, you know, like they'll like reward the That crazy. Wow. Yeah, what if you were kidnapped and they wanted ransom? Oh, they'd be, I'd be dead in a week. Right? Yeah, yeah.

Because nobody's doing the ransom for 200 and I just told you they wouldn't give you 200. That ransom could be higher than. Yeah, yeah. What about you? Like if you're, if you asked your parents like, hey, you know, I'm a little down on my luck. Can I have 500 bucks?

Would they give it to you? No. They wouldn't give you 500. My sisters would. And my sisters too. Yeah, they give it to you? No. They wouldn't give you 500. My sisters would. And my sisters too. Yeah, exactly. 200. 200, no.

Wow. Here's the cool thing about my oldest sister, which rest in peace by the way, she passed away, but my oldest sister. What happened? She was in a car accident, distracted driving, 2015. Both of them. The person that hit her and her,

she was on her phone with her boyfriend and then he was texting. And so they're all gone now. But that was 2015. And then when that happened, I'm sorry, can I? No, we can talk about it. Were your parents distraught? Oh, yeah, they're still really shook up. Oh, they are. But that also changed their temperament more. They're a little softer now after that. Oh after that. Yeah, because- But still no 200. Terrible. Yeah, still no- Still no bar and a front. That's enough. Okay. But what I was gonna say say is, what I really

like, so like, you know, people ask me for money pretty often now and I do it and they go, isn't Jeff nice? Well, I have money. My sister would let me borrow money when she had nothing. My sister would go steal from her boss if I needed like money. Like that's the sign of like an honorable person. Your sister loves you. Yeah, she was a great lady a phenomenal woman And you have another sister. I've got another sister. That's right under her. That's also a great woman Okay, I mean sisters do you have two sisters total one?

No, but they're really great and they stepped it up man. They were like all right like Jeff needs somebody to did your drinking Get go heavy at that after my sister's death. Yeah for sure. That's when it kind of hit the I can't imagine I'm so sorry. I can't. Wow. I was also the first person that was serious that I lost. I would always brag, like, I've never had any serious deaths in my family. And then, fucking, that was like me. It was sudden, right? Yeah.

And then, um... Who called you? Uh, I got a call from my mom. God, I can't believe I'm sharing this. My mom accused them of lying about it. They're like, she's probably pulling some scam. A prank? Yeah, like she didn't even believe that it actually had happened.

Wow. So she called you and like, Yeah, like, You get this, Jeff. Yeah, she wanted to like gossip. Wow. Yeah. And I was like, huh?

And then her boyfriend called me because he was on the phone when it happened and he was like distraught and like, and then what I tried to like gossip. Wow. Yeah. And I was like, huh? And then her boyfriend called me cause he was on the phone when it happened and he was like distraught and like, and then what I tried to do, and my friends were really worried about me cause I was like, let's go drink, let's go party. And I was at like a comedy club. And then after the comedy club, we went to this like

a nightclub of sorts. And while we're sitting there, they're all kind of gossiping like, is Jeff okay? Like, should we take Jeff back home? Like, but that was my way of coping with it is like, let's just not deal with it Yeah, and then I got a call from like a sheriff that like was like hey You're like on the thing like on the list of people like for to

Contact if something happens to her and that's what it was like real for me. I just like broke down there I was like so sad yeah, but uh yeah, that was that was good for me too though like that was healthy to deal with that That happened me too. I Like that was healthy to deal with that. That happened to me too. I had six sisters, one of them died whenever, it was a swine flu. It was H1N1. Okay, and what year did that happen?

09. Oh man, how old were you when that happened? 10. Oh my God, I'm so sorry. Oh my God, yeah. And I think, because when I get drunk, I think about her. Oh, there you go.

I think I'm still I don't know yeah like yeah it's a great tool for masking stuff or numbing stuff yeah for sure no I'm going to AA no I don't think you're an alcoholic no no anyway um that's so I'm so sorry I love you so much man whatever you need AA yeah okay anyway anyway so Jeff has a special what's it called again it's called the last cowboy in LA the last couple and what where's gonna go no one wanted to buy it so it's gonna go on YouTube but that's it's gonna be great okay we're on here people maybe will hear about it on here maybe they'll

watch it November 14th number one everybody watch it and I'm tired of this bullshit dude what's that you shot it first chopped it around very expensive shooting you guys want to see the trailer we'll put the trailer yeah let me see it online already how can I send you the trailer uh just text me here and you shot you you produce it your own 800 pound gorilla and a guy named Chris Myers who's incredible he's like I wanna do this. I love what you're doing right now. Like, let's just do it. And I said, okay, let's do it. And it turned out really great. We shot it in Nashville.

The reason that it's called The Last Cowboy in LA is more of just, everyone left. Everyone went to Austin, everyone went to Florida, Nashville, they all went to these places. And I don't think it's heroic to leave. Did you shoot outside? That looks like it's outside, but. no that's just a photo. Okay. That's not from the actual taping. Here's what makes me mad about this Jeff. Jeff I mean I I mean I'm finally doing a special. I've never done one. Nice yeah

I've heard you talk about it a bunch. But I had to wait until somebody asked me. Yeah your fear about it was unusual. I listened to it a lot and I was confused. What do you mean by fear about it? Well, I've heard you talk about it on this podcast and I think Bad Friends where you were like, you confided. I didn't think it was necessary. Okay. You know what I mean? I didn't think it was necessary.

But if I were gonna do one, I would want a company that wanted to do one. Yeah. You know, I didn't wanna be in a situation where I was shooting one and then shopping it around and then nobody wanting one. Well, that just happens. Because it pisses me off. Yeah but I just think that you know because you come up on my algorithm all the time you see your stand-up you know I mean you have a probably a different point of view in life than I do you know me but that's okay. What I will say to you like you

were think like when I've heard I've heard you speak on the podcast and your listeners will be aware of what I'm talking about that like you say like these things like well, I don't know blah blah It's like there might be a million specials, but there's no Bobby Lee special and that's what we want Like that like that's the thank you so much. There we go and it's high quality Wow rock bottom in Hollywood, California That is a bad place for rock bottom because everyone is mean to you there. In Hollywood, everyone, my entire career, everybody in Hollywood's been like, you're not even famous.

I've never heard of you, you're not famous. You're not even famous, you're not famous. I have never heard of you, you're not famous. You're not even famous, right? And then I have one bad day, and it's like, famous comedian, crash his car, fights cops. I'm like, god damn it. ["Dirty Dolls"]

Dirty dolls is a lot for a smoothie. Yes, yes. Also, if I'm honest, I actually like Dirty dogs is a lot for a smoothie! Yes! Yes! Also, if I'm honest, I actually like trans women better than I like regular women. I do. Have you ever talked to a trans woman? They're great. They're like dudes. Just raw dog in life, you know? You know Google? You know Google? Google dogs, Google, Google, Google, Google dogs. This is brave, what I'm doing right now.

Hit him with the poetry, like no, no, no. I like her, she likes naughty words, you know what I mean? Probably not a smart subject to do on my first special, but you know, I like to start at cancer. Wow. You never did a special, that's your first one first one Yeah, I've done like little things for like Comedy Central presents. I had like a 30 minute thing But I think I did the flaw of just waiting around I was like, maybe they'll call me but like that's not how that's what I did Yeah waiting around. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, congratulations, dude. I can't wait to I hope it blows up dude

Well, I'm on here. If you're listeners want to watch it. I can't wait to I hope it blows up dude. Well, I'm on here If you listeners want to watch it, I would love that I'm doing a like I said No one wanted to buy it, but Joe Rogan's having me on to promote it You've had me on to promote it. So I'm really flattered. Did you just do Joe? You're coming up doing it November 13th You've done it before though. Yep. Yeah. Yeah, I love him. Yeah, he's great. Anyway guys give Jeff die a round of applause There's a tour dates any for tour dates? Go to JeffDy.com. Go to JeffDy.com.