TigerBelly - Kazumi & The Filipino Hater Factory

Episode Date: June 5, 2024

Kazumi stops by for the first time and our friend Jodi Miller stops by. We chat diabolical Koreans, Civil War, McPherson family, sugar daddies, anime orgasms, Bee movie, and Chipotle worms.  Watch Jodi Miller's Comedy Special 

Music Have your poos ever brewed? No. Bubbled. Oh so you just, it goes straight to the floor? I mean you eat it and then, once you eat food it just comes right out, right away? Not for me. So it brews in your stomach, no? Yeah.

Then you just said you don't brew your poos You know why I heard I heard prunes like the prunes fruit. Is that what it is? Oh, so I thought you're you Yeah, I have a pruning That prunes doesn't make you I Learned something new every day. Did I? Learned something new every day. Thank you so much for that. You're a science guy. I didn't know that I learn something new every day. Thank you so much for that. You're a science guy, I didn't know that. Tell me more about science.

What's something that, in the papers that you've read this year, tell me some of the things you've discovered. They found worms and chipotle. Whoa, tell us more, my friend. I feel like that's old news. That's old news, I knew that, but anyway. We always have recalls of chipotle. I don't eat chipotle no more, so. Because of the worms? Because of the worms. I love old news, I knew that, but anyway. We always have recalls of Chipotle. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't eat Chipotle no more, so. Because of the worms? Because of the worms. I love Chipotle, worms or not, I don't care. Worms are good there. They're deep fried. I don't know. You're so cute.

Thanks, bud. I just wanna headbutt your face. Headbutt? In a gentle way, though. Hey, I was attending, I had a show in Bakersfield. Okay. And I was sending merch for Ralph, and this guy came up to me, I was attending, I had a show in Bakersfield. And I was sending merch for Ralph and this guy came up to me. He's like, hey, you're Jaime from Tiger Belly.

I was like, yeah, what's up, man? He's like, yeah, you need to stop doing comedy. What? Honest. Very honest. Truthful, but no. Jaime, you can't listen to that stuff. Dude, there's so many people that hate me. They hate me.

They want me dead. But he said that to your face. And your face was crazy. And the merch table. And then what, did you just laugh or no? I looked everywhere, I was like, who's this guy? And he just walks away. I would have confronted him. What would you say? Someone goes, hey man, you should quit comedy.

Yeah? You should quit your job at Chipotle. Pretty good, huh? Pretty good. Pretty fast. I don't work at Chipotle. Yeah? Well, you're skyrocket to the sun, man. Thanks. I'll put you on a rocket ship, dude.

Thanks? Yeah? You want to go on a rocket ship to the sun? Yeah, I'll work for you. No, that's not what I'm saying. They'll burn alive. Who are three people you would skyrocket to the sun today? Oh, me? Mm-hmm. Oh, God, there's so many. We can bleep them all out. They'll be burned alive. Who are three people you would skyrocket to the sun today? Oh, me?

Oh God, there's so many. We can bleep them all out. Yeah, I have some TikTokers I wanna skyrocket to the sun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Preacher? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Skyrocket to the sun, huh? No one in showbiz though.

No one in my, you know, it's just people from afar. That's changed, cause when I've- Yeah, it's different for you, huh? Years ago, early Tiger Belly, your list was only showbiz. No, I love everyone. Cause you're in the club now, huh? Well, the fruits been blossoming, and I've been eating from the fruits.

Fruits don't blossom, flowers do. My fruits do. That's your problem. I believed you for a second, wait. Wait a second, do you know what I... You Koreans are crafty man crafty craft work. I just watched this document That's not to series called dancing for the yeah, and that guy Robert shin. He's the best He is a diabolical fool

To get to get tick tockers to believe in Jesus and also let me manage you, and also come to my church, and also don't talk to your family, that's fucking Korean, fucking diabolical mental fucking games, my friend. Do you think you'd be able to do that? I can do it, I did it with this group. What are you talking about?

You really did. Look at this group I have. What are you doing here? What are you guys doing here, dude? Can I just say, this is a, we are in Stockholm syndrome. Yeah. We'll never leave you, master.

We're never gonna leave. We're gonna leave you, master. I mean, you guys come over, and E.J. comes over, hangs my paintings, and then check out this guy, E.J. Can we talk about this E.J. guy character? Harry Potter. Harry Potter, this guy? Potter.

Comes over, right, hangs some paintings up, he demands $100. Whoa! Wait, wait, stop, stop, hangs some paintings up, he demands $100. Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, stop, stop. This is my podcast, you don't have to get the talk, okay? Alex, am I back, you got my back, dude? Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude, exactly. So he's like, you know, I don't come over, if it's not money, I go, well, okay, that's weird.

I'll give you $100 to hang a couple paintings up. Which is basically less than a TaskRabbit, so. Exactly, exactly, exactly. And then, you know, I've been meeting the Pam and every day it's like, hey man, the $100. And I'm like, dude, you're really strapped for cash, huh? So anyway, he's a suspect guy though, dude. You know what I mean?

What, what are you gonna do? You sad? I know. I know. I know. It sucks, doesn't it?. It sucks doesn't it? It sucks doesn't it? Yeah, look at how mad he is.

I'll tell you about EJ though. He's a very good guy. If you ever want an audition, he's a good cameraman. Also a good reader and he gives a good note. He really does. You don't do a good job. How many times have you used you George? Early on right?

I also don't move the table and ruin lighting for a whole episode. Whoa, he did that? Yeah. EJ. If I walk in here it's all cattywampus. What? What's cattywampus?

It's when it's like a skew. You heard of that before Bobby? Yeah, of course. I'm feeling like my whole life is cattywankle. I was born cattywunkle. Yeah, dude. I was born cattywunkle. OK. So don't be doing that shit around this town. My point is, I've never heard of it, but my point is that,

EJ, watch your back. But anyway, that documentary was pretty good, but let's talk about Civil War. Ooh. You see it? I haven't seen it. Have you seen it? I haven't. Anybody see it? I've seen it. Have you seen it? I haven't.

Anybody see it? I've seen it. You've seen it? What do you think? What are your thoughts? Just looking sure. We're not talking about Marvel, correct? Yeah.

Not Robert Downey Jr. verse. No. It's Captain America Civil War. Let's go then. Tell me about that. Jesse Plemons is the best. Oh, he's so great. The scene where he's like,

What kind of American are you? What? I said it right? That was good. Wow, Bobby. Say it one more time. What kind of American are you? Oh, goosebumps. Chicken skin. I'm gonna say, you know what I would say?

Maga, dude. What? Just say that. What if you're that guy and you have an accent though? Maga dude what just say that You're like what if you what if you're that guy you have an accent though, Maga Yeah, first of all that you are the Asian guy. Yes, you're right. He said Hong Kong Yeah, fuck you say fucking Cleveland. Yeah, anything cream contact all right, so Creever and pretty womaner! Alright, you American? Yeah, yeah.

Mishugunu. So here's the- That's the context? Mishugunu. So here's the context of it. The lady from Suicide... What's that movie called? Suicide Squad? Not Suicide Squad. The one that um, fuck man. Don't help me. Let me try to get that.

Virgin Suicide. That's a dude! With Sofia Coppola's movie? Yeah dude dude dude! Who's the girl in that? Kristen Dunst? She's not in it? She is it. That's right. Oh my god! I read your life! Dude! Dude! Dude! Dude! One. We're one. We're one. Jesse Plymouth ain't she? Yeah they're married. Dude. Dude. One, or one. We're one. Jesse Plymouth, ain't she? Yeah, they're married. Dude! Anyway. She's a great architectural digest. So she plays a journalist.

And this whole movie is in the perspective of journalists because they don't have a side necessarily, right? And so they're just documenting the Civil War. All right, you're saying, yeah, if they're from MSNBC, yeah, they would have probably side and Fox. Yes. Right. But we don't know. I think they're more independent journalists. Right. AP or whatever. OK, so are we good? We're not good on the context. I understood. OK, let me. All right. We should go to.

We should go to. So anyway, these journalists are going to go to D.C. for Africa with the event was, but and they have to go to DC for, I forgot what the event was, and they have to go through this war, the civil war that's between obviously liberals and conservatives, and the president is in his third term. So they allude he's more like kind of a Trump kind of guy. A third term? Yeah. Third term, but I don't think, this is why the director is good, because they made the president from New York, a blue state.

Yeah, Trump is from New York. Yeah, but then they also made California and Texas allies. Yeah, Austin, dude. Liberal. Just Austin? Dallas, Houston. Right, go to any, right? Am I right?

Am I right? Austin, Dallas. Houston. Pretty liberal, right? You've heard of them? Yeah, I heard of them. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're more cities than you. Yeah, give me some more. You know what you called them? You know what you called him? Anaheime. Right, Anaheime? Anaheime. Anaheime. Right?

Yep. Right. So, let's go, can we go back? Yeah. So now these journalists get stopped. You know that old fat black man that's always in every movie? What's his name? He's so good.

Wait, let me read your mind. He's so good. He's so good. He's so good. He's so good. He's so good. He's so good. He's so good. He's so good. He's so good. He's so good. There's like, you know that old fat black man that's always in every movie?

What's his name? He's so good. He's everything. Wait, let me read your mind. He's trying to read my mind, dude. Old fat man, black man. Old. Think about it. In every movie.

Oh my God, yeah. You know that guy? He's in everything though, that guy. He's so good. Anyway, him, suicide squad girl. There's a young girl that's a journalist too, like a wannabe journalist, and then there's a guy that looks like the goof guy from a skinnier version of the guy from that zombie thing on HBO, what's it called? The Last of Us?

You think, oh, Wagoner. Oh, Pedro Pascal? There's a skinny version, right? He's the guy from, plays Narco. Oh, yeah. Wagoner and Morrow. Skinnier version of it, yeah. Pascal Light, let's call him that. Yeah. Okay. Oh yeah. Give you a version of it. Waggoner Moro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pascal Light, let's call him that.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, Pascal Light's in it, right? And so they get stopped by, you know, a couple of guys in fatigues, obviously they're probably right wing. And they ask, you know, like, and they're gonna kill the little girl

and another journalist. And then, you know, Christian Dunst comes up and goes, oh wait, we're journalists? And he's like, and we're American. He's like and we're American he's like what kind of American are you right and then she goes I'm from here right I don't know what Massachusetts or something and then they go to the Asian guy and he goes where you from and he goes Hong Kong doesn't even try to you know can I tell you why he thought that was strategic? Why?

Because he said Hong Kong instead of China. Oh, so you're thinking that people from the other side don't even know what the fuck where Hong Kong is? No, because Hong Kong used to be a British, you know, ruled by British territory. They don't think that way. Hong Kong sounds like nowhere in America. You're right.

It's like Hong Kong saying ding, dong, dong. But did he say it? Might as well just say that. Did he say it with an accent? Oh my god. Yeah, he just goes, Hong Kong. Everyone else was like, Florida. Yeah, I would have been Cleveland.

Actually, you should not. Ohio. You can't do that, because that's actually the enemy. No. What? That's the map. So it's Texas, California, and then Florida Alliance and Western forces are part of the blue. And then all this is the third term president. Yeah, it's Texas, California, and then Florida Alliance and Western Forces are part of the blue and then all this is the third term

President yes the term right so that's the map loyalist so they're busy and then they But the guy should have lied to it, but that scene is the most intense scene. I've seen it over all what grade do you give it? Well a zero because it's never gonna happen Well, a zero because it's never gonna happen. The movie. The movie. That's what I'm saying, that premise of it will never happen. You go to the movies to.

You rate it by possibility. Yeah. Lord of the Rings. Like Mission Impossible. That happened in history. Oh my God. That happened in history, dude. I've met Hobbits before.

One of them's been on this podcast. Haven't we had a Hobbit on this podcast? Oh, yeah, we did. We definitely did. We have. Case in point done. Okay. You had Bilbo Baggins in here? No, we had Mary.

Mary? Mary. Mary. Remember Mary? Okay. You see it? No. Wait, you never saw Lord of the Rings? I saw the hobbit

The hobbit the this little nation of smog. Yeah, that's the only one you saw He watches the very last move Gives the whole thing like watching the last major. What's your big fantasy series? Will you consider black mirror fantasy Would you consider Black Mirror? Fantasy? Sci-fi. Sci-fi. Sci-fi. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know any fantasy?

No fantasy? You never saw Game of Thrones? No. Yeah. Why? Why? Why? I don't know.

I just, does it catch my, like, it doesn't grab me. It doesn't grab you. Dragons. No. Dragons. Shrek. Shrek? Shrek is pretty good. Yeah, yeah. That's kind of fantasy. Yeah, it's kind of fancy. If you're a three-year-old kid.

It's a good movie though. Shrek? Shrek, yeah. Yeah, yeah. They have dragons and donkeys, babies. What do you say? Bro, you really drive me crazy sometimes. Yeah. You said donkey babies? Donkey babies? Donkey. You know. Who plays that guy? guy the donkey Eddie Murphy. Very good You're back on the team Can you do a Shrek impression never seen it? That's your manager what's her name Hello, Kazumi. Hello, Kazumi. How's it going? Hi. Hello, Kazumi's friend. Is that your publicist? Hi. That is my manager.

That's your manager? Yes. What's her name? Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Hi, Sarah. Konnichiwa. I'm not Japanese.

Do you remember when I saw you at the parking lot and screamed that I loved you? When? This was like a year ago. You were in a parking lot. I'd remember that. And I said, I love you so much. And what'd I say?

You said thanks. Yeah, that's good. Yeah. Yeah, sometimes I go, fuck you. No, I don't. No, you don't. No, I'm always saying thanks. You're so polite.

So what parking lot? This was, it was like Bird Cricer's, like LMFAO OnlyFans debut thing. Bird Cricer, don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know! Keep explaining it. The fat guy! No, I mean-

You did this. You did this. Yeah, yeah, you mean this guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He has like a really big heart. He has a big heart, yeah, yeah. And a big tummy. So, oh, so it was an OnlyFans party kind of thing?

It was like an OnlyFans comedy show premiere. A roast? Oh, it was the roast of him. Yeah, a roast. Yeah, it was a roast. Oh it was the roast. Yeah it was the roast. I wasn't there. No you weren't. I promise you I never went there. Oh maybe it was Jo Jitsu Kua.

She confused you with Jo Jitsu Kua. She confused you. You guys have like a similar vibe. No! You were. We don't lady. That's how you open. Honestly, now you remember it, so honestly,

now you remember it wasn't me. Okay, I'm sorry. Was it me or not? I feel like it was you. But it wasn't, because I didn't look to that. Okay. I love it when Asians get other Asians wrong. I know.

Was it him? Oh, is that not you? What? Wow. You guys look exactly the same. Yeah, so he said thank you. Okay. So we'll tell him, yeah, heart to you.

Fuck you, okay? You guys are like in the Steve Aoki family tree. Oh, we have the same kind of face? Yeah. What is it? It's like a... Cross-eyed? No, I mean, Steve Aoki is good looking.

So is Devin Aoki. She's like a muse for all like the big fashion brands Yeah, yeah, you know, I could I be honest with you people a lot of women find me very attractive We believe it look at me look at me and see if they're same family. Yeah, look how strong I am Did you have that same like just ready? That's on my Instagram. Oh, yeah, just Google. I don't even remember that was in Michigan or something It was in an airport. You should know what's an airport. I guarantee was an airport. It was a hotel a hotel Yeah, you were traveling for sure. Yeah, no shit

Let's not fight. No cuz I remember No, let me Let's back out for a second. Let's get back to the foundations. Thank you for doing it. This is our podcast Thank you for being here. Thank you for doing it. This is our podcast. Thank you for being here Kazumi. Kazumi. Kazumi. Okay. What? It's a heart. Thank you. And You know the next time you see someone that kind of maybe yeah, you want to listen that you is that better? Yeah, you're your nice voice. She's so good. At first I hated her but now I I love her again. She's bringing you back, yeah.

Let's do a proper intro though. All right, so Kazumi. Ladies and gentlemen, Kazumi, she is a social influencer. A lot of followers. Top 0.01 performer. Top 0.1 of the world, which is a very difficult thing to do. By the way, very rapid, quick rise.

Rapid, quick rise. Well deserved. And and then um she hosted the or you were on the um the adult right? Adult videos yeah. No no no adult videos there was an award show. AVNs. Yeah did you host it or you were on it? Yeah it stands for adult video network. You hosted it right? You didn't host? No I never hosted it. Really? Why? Like you said you did. Only porn stars hosted. Yeah, no, there's sometimes comedians.

Yeah, so Kate Quigley, I think Greg Fitzsimmons. Fitzsimmons did it, yeah. April Macy. Yeah, so sometimes. We had Lil Duval. That's good, very good. Yeah, so. I love Big Duval though, that's my favorite.

But Robert Duval, Robert Duval from The Godfather. I call him Big Duval. Anyway, so Kazoomi and thenumi and then give a round of applause! Kazumi! Where do you get most of your money? The OnlyFans or other things? Yeah, OnlyFans. Yeah, yeah. And so, um, you know what I don't like about OnlyFans? Let me ask you something. Why?

So they go, like, for a hundred dollars, right, you can see something even more mysterious, right? Right? Like, you'd better be your fallopian tubes because- Oh, I'm showing full hole. I'm not a full hole. What do you mean hole? Like my, like all of my holes. I understand that. Okay, let me say something. The face has seven.

So I show seven holes. Count your, count them. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I know, I said seven, right? I didn't even know that. So I have seven holes on my your count them. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven. I know I said it's seven right? I didn't even know that. So I have seven holes on my face right? One, two, so I have nine holes in general. So I have ten. Why? No wait, does the belly button hole? No sweetie. No, no it's not complete. We have three holes down there, girls do.

You have fucking two holes. We have three. No, no, no, stop, stop, stop. Just because one hole has different holes, you gotta count that as one hole. No, no, no, one hole is its own hole, which is the pee hole. No, where is the pee hole? In its own area.

But it's in the big hole. Big hole. No. Have you seen like a vagina before? No, I've never had. You think that pee comes out of the main hole? No, no, no, not like a fucking, you know what I mean? Like a fire hose.

No, no, no. Shhh. No, no, no, no. Let me get this right. You think there's a hole, a small hole within the big hole that shoots out pee? Okay, you guys are gonna make me so fucking mad right now, but I will just demonstrate if I may, okay?

Thank you. Thank you. Finally, thank you, right? All right? Please explain our anatomy. Yeah, yeah, this is, well, can I just ask? Yeah, please. You guys are being so rude

and I feel like you're being ganged up on. And I feel like you're being bullied, am I right, guys? Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah. I'm just asking a question.

Sorry, I don't know everything I Apologize 52 years. You're not the only one so you don't know you how many holes do you think there's on there? Then they say three three If they say three three how many holes have you seen one Right, so how do we know? I'm just telling you one. Yeah, so what I'm saying is that you've only seen one, right? How do you know there's three?

They're telling you there's three. They could be lying. We would never lie. Women don't lie. All right, so anyway, so this is the vaginal area, okay? Okay, yeah. This is where the clit is, okay? Usually.

Usually, right? Am I not right? Yes. This is where you stick your pee-pee is, okay? Usually. Usually, right? Am I not right? Yes. This is where you stick your pee pee in. Yes.

Right? So what you're telling me is this, okay? The pee hole is above that. No, it's like right here. Right, it's in the big hole! No, it's not in the big hole, Bobby. It's in the hole! It's not, it's above the hole.

Whatever holes are in this mechanism, it's considered one hole, there we go. That whole thing is one hole. Sweetie, I wanna, God, if I could just pee on front of you right now, I would prove to you this is in fact. Oh, I see, no, no, okay, now I see. All right, so yeah, okay, you're right.

Say all those words up there. Okay, so can I just point to the chart? Yes. May I point to the chart? It was a science class can I just point to the chart? Yes. May I point to the chart? It was a science class. May I point to the chart? Okay. All right.

So a man, for me, I don't have a vagina. So I consider, see this pink outer lining? Yeah. The hole. It's like saying your face only has one hole. I don't think we should put that out. That didn't work out the way I wanted it to. Basically what you're saying, Tommy,

what you're saying is your whole face is one hole. You don't have compartments, you don't have eyes, nose, and mouth. It's so silly that you say that because my face looks like a hole. I don't want to talk about the vagina because we're going to get docs, right? Docs? Whatever they call it. I don't think we make good talks right now. One time in college I had this lady that was really into putting things in her urethra.

So I would put like rods. Aretha Franklin? No, her urethra is the pee hole. The hole for the girls, which is different than her vagina hole. So I knew at that moment those were different holes. That is gnarly because that would cost me the worst UTI ever. It was like a reverse P. Oh my god.

And the urethra is such a tiny hole too. So it's basically like when you put a catheter in, right? Yeah, yeah, but like in a horny way. Oh, wow. OK, there's three holes down there. There is, yeah. Because if you like, let's say, let's suppose I have to be catheterized at a hospital.

They're not putting it in my like big hole. They're putting it in the urine hole. Can I make another argument though? Yes. May I try? All right. Now, now the P hole is a very tiny hole, right? Yes. Can we agree on that? Yeah. Right. But aren't skin pores considered holes as well? Yeah, then you're- The pores are here. So technically, I have thousands of holes. We're like Spongebob, like millions of holes. Millions of holes, right? So we're all lying. Yeah it's true but it's- Do I win the argument? It is watertight though. It's what you can fuck, right? Like that's how we define a hole. That's how we define a hole.

You can't- so this is not a hole, you can't fuck my eye. Oh I've seen people- Yeah. Okay I guess you can. Yeah. I don't want to do that ever but anyway Would you want to get if I fucked no okay good doesn't sound very appealing Really whatever felt good Jaime Okay, anyway, let's move on because you're actually were you a film major or you like you made your film buff, right? Yeah Yeah, I went to film So can we talk about film? Yeah, yeah. I went to film. Ooh, ooh, ooh. So can we talk about film? Yeah.

What film school? I went to a community college where my major was film, but I was in screenwriting. Nice. I'm still doing film to this day. Yeah, yeah. No, I, yeah, yeah. It's pretty good.

Like film film, Bobby. Film, like she's a film buff. Yeah, I'm going to ask her about film then, all right? I was at the Cannes Film Festival. that's like a film thing to do. Classic film thing. Give me your hand. Okay. That's how you grab? Oh yeah let's not do it again. We don't know how to do that yet. Let's just try to get it. Okay. Anyway good to see you. So what are your top five favorite films? Oh, here we go I like the maniac one which one

maniac one shy the booth Shy is in that nymphomaniac to Be shy in that yet. He's in the second one, too. I think right. Yeah where she gets like old and ugly but Yeah, yeah, but shy isn't that yeah. Yeah. But shy isn't that. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, but he's evil. And then... He's a good guy.

The Bee Movie. The what? The Bee Movie. The Bee Movie. The one about the bees. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you mean the one Jerry Seinfeld wrote? Yeah.

Okay. But he's not funny. Wait, the anime. Jerry? Jerry? Yeah. Jerry, if you're listening, you have your own thing, you know? You like jazz? Yeah, I love jazz music. Yeah, that's a quote from the movie.

Film major. So you went to Community College of Film? Yeah. That's what they taught you? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They never saw you, oh yeah, I know what the movie looks like. For the audience.

She said nymphomaniac in the B movie. I think the better angle is this, because now I'm going, have you seen other movies than those three? Movies name movies Well, if you went to film school, then I'm gonna be a more film school II Yeah, that might things all right, but you're also you're only 27 right? Yeah, that doesn't mean I fucking know fuck Citizen I'm a milf. She's a MILF. What's a cutoff? When you have big boobs.

Oh that's right. It becomes MILF, right? Okay, can I just get down to business here? Yes. Because this is what I... because I've been going on dates. Oh. It's like she didn't believe it. It's like she didn't believe it. She was shocked. She was so shocked.

No, I believe you. It's the rudest thing. Anyway, um, I'll get you, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get, get,. No, I just do you do find me unattractive. No, you're so hot. Yeah So I'm missing yeah All right, fuck both of you right now. Okay. I love you though. I actually did for ten years, Bobby I think you are hot. It's not really hot. She's super hot. Thank you. Thank you It's super hot. Thank you. That makes it like hotter.

Can we go back to the film? Okay, okay. You see what I did for you? I made you hotter. Did you not hear that? Yeah, I'm really trying to. Anyway, can we go back to the film thing? Yeah.

Okay, so I'm dating, don't do the noise again, but I'm dating again. And a lot of young girls like, they'll go, I only like Taylor Swift, right? I go, well, if there's other music like The Beatles, like have you heard like The White Al white album or every road or anything like that And they're like well That's old people like old-timey music and my point though being is is that even when I was in the 80s when I was a

Kid right I had all the albums that wasn't my time period I still listen to Beethoven Mozart my point being is is that That's not an excuse. I agree. Okay, so it's like know it's not about age it's about interest. Right. Okay here we go. Have you, this is now I'm just going films. I love you so much. What did I do? Nothing. I said I love you so much. I love you too. Okay good. She's weird I love her. I'm a little weird. Yeah I'm weird too. Have you ever, any Scorsese early movies that you liked? That's the She's weird, I love her. I'm a little weird. Yeah, I'm weird too. Have you ever seen any Scorsese early movies that you liked? That's the Wolf of Wall Street Guy. The Leg, Vagina.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very good. So have you seen any Curacao film? No. The Curacao stuff is deep cuts though. Consider one of the greatest directors ever to live. I understand, but it's still like pretty deep cut. Not really deep cut to me, no.

Okay. I mean, George Lucas built, at his ranch, has a building called the Curasola building. That's George Lucas. It's not deep cut though. The building's being named after him, right? In Skywalker Ranch? Skywalker Ranch, very good. That's deep cut. That's not deep cut though. The buildings being named after right in Skywalker Right very good. That's deep cut. That's not

Okay, so anyway I get that we can pass on that Um, so any like did you ever see any of the Godfather movies? No, okay What's the oldest movie let's start there what's the oldest movie, let's start there, what's the oldest movie you've seen? Oh, I don't know. Okay. Citizen Kane. That's really old. You should have led with it. Citizen Kane, right. So you started Citizen Kane. Yeah. Okay, good. All right, so you went to film school, but did you ever want to be a director? I want to be a screenwriter I wanted to tell like Asian stories. What kind of stories like a Mostly about me. Oh really? Yeah stories about you. Yeah, so is it being an Asian woman? Is it all the Asian one perspective? Yeah. Yeah. Is there any parts in your movies with me in it or no with you? No, how could I be in the movie? Um, I saw your ramen your

Thing yeah, you had the ramen thing. Yeah. Yeah, go in the movie? I saw your ramen, your thing. Yeah, yeah, the ramen thing? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, go ahead. No, I saw your ramen thing. I know, but do you have an opinion about it? I liked it. You really recited the ingredients like you really knew.

Really? Thank you so much. Thank you so much for saying that. I appreciate it. Let's move on. Because of your Filipino parents, right? Yeah, yeah. Were they very, like typically very like strict? Yeah. Were they very like typically very like

strict? Yeah yeah they would explode if they knew I was here. Would they are they are they supportive now or they haven't come around? No they don't know what I do they work at the hater factory. What's the hater factory? It's where my parents live. But what in America? Yeah. Wait how do they not know what you're doing? They're like on an Asian Facebook, an Asian church. Yeah, it's very like, it's very insulated. So no one from their church is like, hey, they're safe from my holes, yeah.

Really? Yeah. What would they do if they found out? They would commit seppuku. They'd go full Japanese. They would kill themselves. Yeah, they would die. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well, does that, I mean, can I just say, I love what you're doing. And I don't know what that was, but it's so weird. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, Memorial Day, do you remember? Yeah. Yeah, okay. I don't know what to, but what, so, Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I don't want to but but what so um I does that is that in your mind when you're doing

like your work? Like when I'm sucking penis? Like I'm like thinking about my dad? No I mean just would you like that doesn't think about it you don't think about it? No I like avoid thinking about my dad. Was it like um like super religious household then? No it was just a super hater household like they weren't even really that religious. Oh really? Yeah. So do you have a boyfriend? Yeah, what's is the Asian? No white no black. Yeah, he's black Yeah

Why is that so funny? Yeah, why'd you laugh like a fucking hyena just now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's a, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's a the, what's But lately I've been hanging out with some more Asian guys and I'm seeing the vision. The vision of it. But you haven't really done it? No, I've been doing it. Oh really? Yeah. I had one this weekend right before AAPI month ended. Yes, that's a great time. AAPI month is a great time. At the end you have to do it at the end or the beginning. I do it in the beginning. Thank you. I had a HAPA earlier this month. That's like half of it. There's a halfie?

Yeah. But you haven't done a full one? No, I did a full one this weekend. Oh really? Before. Have you done an old full one? Like 52 years old. Is that how old you are? Yeah.

No, not yet. No, not that I want to. You would throw up. I would throw up? Yeah. To what? What, wait, wait, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. No, I wouldn't!

Yeah! I wouldn't throw up, I wouldn't throw up! I think you have the right call there because he is very like Christian boy. He looks fragile. He's not so fragile as he's just very like he's Christian about his stuff. Oh, so you don't cheat or

or eat shrimp and you're homophobic No, not homophobic. I love homos. I've sucked it. He's the opposite. Oh, it's pride month. So I'm not homophobic. I love homos. I've sucked in. He's the opposite. Oh, it's pride month. So I'm open, yeah, thank you. Thank you. I'm open to all that. What she's saying is, I think what you're reading is wrong. Elegant.

That's not elegance. No. No, you're just not into the super freaky stuff. It's not that. She would know. For sure. Yeah, I can't. I don't like butthole stuff. I'm sorry, my bad. Grow up. You grow up. Grow up? I've never heard that before. Fuck you, you grow up!

You're missing out on a world of flavor. I don't like poo flavor. It's not poo flavored. That's not poo flavor. No. Yours might be. Yeah, yeah. Jaime, Jaime.

Yeah. If I ate your butthole right now, okay? Okay. What flavor would I be tasting? Strawberry pound cake Not shortcake pound cake strawberry pound strawberry pound cake not shortcake. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'll be like I'm a strawberry? Oh, poundcake.

Yeah. Right? And then how would, why does your butthole taste like that? I don't know. I just, I like that flavor. Just because you like the flavor doesn't mean that that's what the flavor is. His power, he thinks about it.

Yeah, he's basically, it's like- Oh, you manifest it. Yeah. You visualize you manifest it and it tastes like that. Okay. Okay, good. Yeah, it's a you manifest it? Yeah. You visualize you manifest it and taste like that. Okay. Okay good. It's a candle from a bath body works. Oh you bought the soap. Yeah. Oh I see. Okay. What do you think you would taste if you did mine? Rice. So literal. So literal. Are you Asian? No, I'm Mexican. Oh. Yeah, yeah. You would taste rice? Just rice. The most bland. The most bland. Not even fried rice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Calrose. Yeah, yeah. Wow. A little burnt rice or no? Rice with a little bit of beef and broccoli. Whoa. All

right. A little bit of, okay, good. Some vegetables. And an entree. Yeah. Okay, good. Thank you. Let's move on from that, okay? Wait, cause I mean, why do you think he would throw up? I would put his ass through the mattress. Whoa. What do you mean? Like you would be obliterated. No, you would.

Maybe like. No, no, no. You know what, you know what, you know what, guy? You know what, my friend? You might be a little sleeper agent. No, no, no. I'm a beast, man. I'm an animal, though.

Oh, yeah, you are. He really is very fun to have sex with. Yeah, you like to laugh? I love laughing. Yeah, yeah, you're gonna laugh? You'll fall in love with me. I'm in love already. Yeah, yeah, that's how good I am.

Anyway, let's move on from sex. So what do you call it? Open relationship, is that like ethical non-monogamy? Yeah, yeah, that's how good I am. Anyway, let's move on from that. So what do you call it? Open relationship, is that like ethical non-monogamy? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And like, do you have parameters even around that? I'm anti-cream pie. Okay, so he cannot, so you cannot get cream pieed or he cannot give cream pies?

He can give cream pies, I don't really care. Yeah. But I don't like cream pies. And I don't like swallowing, I've never swallowed in my life. Really? It's gross. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's okay's okay. So never swallow. But you know what? I recently had my first butt sex moment. First? Mm-hmm. And? I trained for it pretty extensively. I hired

this dominatrix to, never mind. No, keep talking. Keep talking. The dominatrix. Well, I hired this really hot Japanese dominatrix to teach me how to clean my butthole so she had me like on my back. Soap? No no no. The inside. No no no. We got the soap inside. Yeah like we put like the enema in my butthole and then she would like you know kind of like stomp on my tummy or suggest it and then. Dude I swear to god. Hold God hold I got a fart can I fart in the mic oh right next time can you have us guess your far right before you fart there's a little rice pellet that's not like right that's not like rice right one rice came a rice came out

you know you know what that would mean right what and right you would know like when when dogs when you have little rice kernels around or cats, it means you have worms. What? It's like a fragment of the worm. I have worms in my butt? Yeah, you don't want rice things, rice looking things to come out of your butt.

They move, maggots. Yeah, you have worms, Bobby. Let's move on because I wanna get, you know what I mean? I wanna get docs. We'll get docs. I don't wanna geted on this episode. What did he say? Whenever I'm sick he's always like you have ringworm. I mean or tapeworm or whatever. Let's talk about God. Can we talk about God? I don't believe in God. I know.

Can we can we segue though try? I have some questions. Okay, go ahead. I don't think I will believe in God. I'm not trying to convert you. Segue. Yeah, yeah. Go ahead, Jaime. Oh, yeah. Hey, what's up?

How you doing? I'm so nervous. Why are you so nervous? Are you nervous? No, I'm not nervous. Yeah, you seem nervous. No, I don't seem nervous. I love you.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank me? No, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank me. No, thank you. Thank you. Love you. No, okay. Like if you were in this scenario, if you're in the scenario of a hot dog eating contest, who are you taking? What? Um, wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Hold on. I don't fully. I don't fully get the question too. I don't think Kuala Dosa. He's asking who I'd want a Kobayashi with.

Yeah. Oh, Kobayashi. I'm actually thinking real hot dogs. Real hot dog competition? Real hot dog. Okay, okay. Obviously this guy. Why?

Because you look hungry. Like you would do a good job with me. But you have to eat them in 10 minutes. Like a lot. Yeah, okay. Oh, the rules. Yeah, 10 minutes. Do you know what?

I'm a real eater. You would be happy being on my team. Okay. You know what Kobayashi apparently does not feel hunger anymore? It's because he has worms. Is it because of the worms? The worms are eating his stomach. Oh my God.

It's so sad. I don't think that's healthy for you. I don't think so. Look, 52 hot dogs. Oh my God. He's bleeding. Look at the guy's bleeding in his stomach. Oh my god. I don't think that's healthy for you. I don't think so. Look, 52 hot dogs. Look at the guy's bleeding in his hand. Oh my god. He's drinking Kool-Aid. Oh yeah, alright. That's insane. Yeah anyway. How did you, because how did you break out of your Filipino hater factory? I'm still a hater myself, but my parents were haters to me, and I've been unchained since I turned 18. But then how did they attempt to keep you down

and saying you're staying here, you're not flying on your own? Oh yeah, I didn't have a phone until I turned 18. I wasn't allowed outside until I turned 17. But I feel like all of that made me super horny. Oh, hell yeah. Yeah, I had to. If you make it a big deal to touch penis, I'm gonna have to do it.

100%, I think that's- So what's the solution here? You don't stop your kids or your teenagers from wanting to explore the world on their own terms. You don't promote it either, right? You guide them accordingly. Just be normal about it. Yeah, exactly.

All right, so I'm your dad, I'm the dad, okay? You three are my kids. Okay, you guys are triplets Okay, okay. You're a Filipino dad. I'm just a dad dad. I like this boy How old are you though in this? I'm 15. Okay. All right sit around Cindy has something to say but everyone sit around. Yeah. All right. So Cindy go ahead say we want to say dad I like this boy and he wants to take me out on a date. That's great. Say no dad, no. Why Jim? I know him.

You're my brother? Yes. Wait, are you on drugs? You know that's a, you grew up with him. Oh yeah, I'm sorry. Anahima, I'm sorry. Jim. Jim.

Oh Jim. Are you on drugs? You forgot your brother's name? Jimmy, I'm so sorry. I forgot you were there for a second. It's okay. Cindy, so, all right, Margaret? I'm Margaret. What, Are you all three on drugs?

You guys are my kids. What's going on here? Are we triplets? What is going on here? You guys are on fentanyl? What is going on here? Sit down. Now let me ask you something. Are you guys slept well?

So you're Cindy, you're Jimmy, you're Margaret. We know that, right? And we're the McPhersons. McPhersons. All right? What's your name? Is mom Elle? Yes, what's your name? Yeah, Elle McPherson.

She's modeling right now. How'd you snag a model, dad? Because he's hot. Thank you, Margaret. He looks like Stevie Oakey. Thank you, Margaret. So Cindy, what's your name? What's my name? First and last name, what is it? Cindy McPherson, Margaret. He looks like Stevie O'Kee. Thank you, Margaret. Thank you, Margaret. So Cindy, what's your name? What's my name?

First and last name. What is it? Cindy McPherson, duh. Dad, are you on drugs? What's your name? Jimmy. G-W-Q. Jimmy McPherson.

Yeah, that's right, Jimmy. Good boy. Thanks, Dad. What's your name? Kazumi? No, no. What's your name? What's my name?

Margaret McPherson. Margaret McPherson. Yeah. M&M. Yeah. So what is your... because we... Dad, I like this boy. Hold on. Okay. Now our family meeting can begin. Okay. All right. Your mom's in France. Just to let you guys know, for two months, for a modeling shoot. She's cheating. Margaret, why do you... Margaret, why do you say that? Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Thank you, Jimmy. Answer your brother. Answer your brother. What else would she be doing in France except cheating? Okay, you're right. Never mind. She is cheating. Okay. Jimmy, you know she's modeling, right? Yeah. She's cheating. She's cheating.

Let's do the family meeting and then go to your concern. She didn't can. There's your mother. Wow. So go ahead. What did you want to say, Cindy? This guy, really, like I'm so attracted to him. He wants to take me out on a date. I'm so attracted to him. I's your mother. Wow. Beautiful. So go ahead, what did you want to say, Cindy?

This guy, really, like I'm so attracted to him. That's great. He wants to take me out on a date. He does? Yeah. Yeah, for sure, what night? Thursday night. Thursday night.

We're gonna go play bowling. You mean we're gonna go play bowling. Dad, I don't want you there. I'm going. Why do you have to be there? I love bowling. That's awkward. No, we're going.

Thank you, Jimmy. Tell him, Dad. there? I love bowling. That's awkward. No, we're going. Thank you, Jimmy Tell him dad. Yeah, yeah Jimmy you cock block. Yeah. Yeah, Jimmy and I are gonna be bowling next to you guys I can't have my incel dad and brother there Excuse me young lady. I'm married to a supermodel And I had three kids with them biological kids with the supermodel. Don't ever talk to me, your dad, like that. Jimmy, shut the fuck up, okay? I got this.

Jimmy, stay out of this. Dad, I think I'm ready to have sex. You know, sweetie, I'm all for it, but what's this guy's name? Draco. Draco Malfoy. Draco's his name? Is he a vampire? That's his street name. Okay, oh you know him Margaret. Oh you've met Draco. What's Draco's last name? He doesn't have one, it's his street name. Oh so it's just Draco. Marge isn't he cute and isn't he a nice guy? Marge, oh you call her Marge. Yeah, Marge.

Okay, okay. Yeah. It's my sister. Okay, sorry. Are we talking about this guy? Yeah, this guy? The Harry Potter guy? Oh, I had a different visual.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you're dating a Slytherin. You're dating a Slytherin. I am, I mean it was either him or Snape. But you know I'm friends with Professor Snape. Dumbledorf. Professor Dumbledorf is waiting for you to turn 18. Oh.

Wait, as a parent though. Is that grooming? Is that grooming? It's grooming. No, Dumbledorf, no. What would you tell me though, as your daughter, what would you in earnest say to me if I was like, dad, I think I'm ready to have sex.

I want to go out with this boy and like, I want, I want you to be weird about it. What I would say is I wish you would use protection, please, okay, so I'm free to go otherwise Yeah, but if you use protection, yeah, you can do it. You can smoke weed too and you can drink alcohol But that's it Midnight, okay You want ketamine I I'm like 17. You're 17? No ketamine until you move out of the house.

Can we make a deal? You can smoke weed in the house, you can drink in the house, no sex in the house, because you know I'm a light sleeper. I'm a light sleeper, I don't want to hear the noises. That would be horrifying to hear the noises. The knocking, you know what I mean? Your head just going against the fucking headboard.

Draco, Draco, Draco. Draco, pop, pop, pop. I'm trying to go to bed. Yeah, I can't do it. Would you rather I get bent over in the neighbor's bushes? Let's not talk about sex. Let's talk about, hey kids, let's sit around, all right? Okay. Cindy, I love you.

Can I see your report card, please? Yeah, straight A's dad. This is a straight A's thing. He's failing. Wait. Wait. This is forged? It's forged.

This is forged? Yeah, these are failed. Marge, why'd you wrap me out, Marge? Marge, wow. Wow, okay. Jimmy? Here you go. All A's. All A's.

Yes, sir. This isn't a report card, dude. This is the back of a cereal box. Right? And it's like a Lucky Charms questionnaire. Where's your report card, Jimmy? I don't have it, Dad. Oh, okay. You're gonna get to me tomorrow?

Yes. I love you, son. No problem. get to me tomorrow. Yes. I love you son I'm proud. You're doing great John. I'm proud of you. Thank you. I'll be a doctor Jimmy any job will be happy If you could just get a job we'll celebrate Alright, we don't have high hopes for you. Okay. I'll go work at Chipotle. Does that make you proud? That's fine. That's fine. All right.

Marge, report card. Yeah. I have zero. I have to go to school. Has she been attending school? Marge? Yeah. I mean, this is what I know of my sister Marge.

Rumor on the street is that she's a sugar baby to someone. You're a snitch. She's a snitch. That's like. Like you snitched on her about her report card? Yeah, that was. Yeah, you said that's, you know what I mean? Touche, my friend.

Dad, and you know who it is? Yeah, who? That's one of your coworkers. Oh, sorry. Oh, who? It's your boss. My boss? Ed Deloitte. Deloitte?

Deloitte? Ed Deloitte? Ed Deloitte. Deloitte? Ed Deloitte? Ed Deloitte? Ed Deloitte is having sex with Marge. Hey Marge, it's me Ted Deloitte. Hey Bobby! Consulting, consulting! Fuck, knock before you come in! It's me Ted Deloitte!

Be home by midnight. Alright, so I'll be a pretty cool dad. No? I'm in. On my best feet to Deloitte. All right, be home by midnight. Okay. All right. All right, so I'll be a pretty cool dad. No? Yeah, yeah. What would you do though if you found out like your daughter, you were a sugar baby at some point, right? You know, funny story about Deloitte.

This one time, I wanted to be a business analyst and I was talking to this project manager at Deloitte and I was like, I think I at Deloitte and I was like, I think I want to learn and he was like, okay, I'll teach you so instead of paying you money, you should just do Salesforce modules. And so I would suck his dick and then he would make me do Deloitte homework.

Wow, so you do have a Deloitte history. Yeah, yeah. That knowledge is priceless. Can I ask a question about sugar daddies? Okay. If I may. How much money does one need to be a sugar daddy like he couldn't be one right? No, he could be yeah, he doesn't have a lot of money though. I do Like how much money do you have just in general?

To take her to Disneyland Okay, okay. That's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah, that's it. No meal No parking no parking uber Uber. We Ubered? So you can take a girl to Disneyland. Yeah. Uber. Mm-hmm. Does she get to buy anything there or eat anything? I'll make her pay for the food. That's not a sugar daddy. That's not a sugar daddy, Jimmy. What's a sugar daddy? What? A sugar daddy is a guy that's rich like pays for their rent on the apartment and everything Yeah, it's not my money. It's my dad's money, so For fucking three minutes

Amazing dude, you're very good Like what are the parameters for being a sugar dad? Yeah, I've always wondered what that is. I think it's like case by case then, right? I think you might, you could be like working at Chipotle but have like poor money management and just want to spend money on bitches instead of like be like yeah You could also just be like a guy who wants to be like there's a kink for financial ruin, right? Like pay pigs and stuff. Yeah, yeah, they love me. Oh really? You know what a pay pig is Bobby? Yeah, I don't know Oh really? Do you know what a pay pig is Bobby?

Yeah. Or do you like? I don't know. Let me guess. A pay pig is this. Somebody that doesn't have a lot of money but is willing to spend every dime on a girl and then he goes into financial ruin. That's close.

That's close. I would have meetups with these guys in ATMs and they would make me pull, I would have them pull out like 200 bucks and they'd be like, oh, I'm so hungry. And I'd be like, do you want it back? And they'd be like, no, what the fuck, keep going. So I'd be like, okay, give me another 200. And then they'd be like, oh, now I can't go to school.

And I'd be like, do you want it back? And they'd be like, no, what the fuck? And then I would just keep going until they. Drain them. Until they were milked like little piggies. Well, no, those were cows. And you feel, are cows and you feel you've done that yeah is there a feeling just you know just you know is there a feeling of guilt on your part I think they're role-playing they're role-playing the pains yeah oh so that's not really their

situation yeah I don't think they were like hobos I think okay okay oh that's a fun I could do that game but I know that there are some men though that actually go into financial ruin with them with like families and stuff because that is they're so like obsessed with you know what do they get if they're not getting any action over what are they really getting out of it I mean they're paying a beautiful beautiful girl yeah it's so sad to me is it not Jim yeah yeah yeah. How much would you charge to come to my family's barbecue? Is it Jaime or Jim? I don't know who it is. It doesn't matter. You're Jaime? I would go for free. For real? He lives in Texas. Oh, well if you fly me out. I got enough points, I think. Yeah, yeah. Oh, so if I'm in Texas, be real.

Let's be real. Okay. I'm in Texas, okay? I call you and I go, listen, come to the barbecue. I'll buy you first class, okay, ticket. Yeah. Right? And you can stay at the nicest hotel, okay?

Would you come? Do we get a selfie? You and I? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like in your Bobby Lee. Yeah, me playing music. But I'm consuming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like in your Bobby Lee. Yeah, me playing music.

But I'm consuming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's all, it's strictly as a friend. You would do it? I do it for free. You would do, no, I know, but I buy it. But if you were going to pull out your genitals, I think that would. Okay, so what would, like.

Yeah, yeah, of course. What do you mean? I mean, the price goes up if you pull out the genitals. Even if you just pull it out for a second, there's like a. How much is that? That should be like an extra five hundred dollars. Yes, maybe more. Just looking at it? Even if I see it in the periphery you have to pay me. Five hundred dollars? Yeah. Snitches get stitches. Okay, okay, okay. So um that's expensive. So then and then how about if you how about you

hey just twack it like that. Like yeah how much is is that if you like pull it out and jerk off like no not your car But you take you talk to talk with your finger. Oh, that's that's a lot That's like a kinky move like I'd rather just a thousand dollars I'd rather just have like raw doggy style Well, I rather that they had a rather of that Whack your black or dog is I think I saw maybe I. Dwhack your... Dwhack or doggy style. I think doggy style maybe. I don't know. Let's go back to Christian stuff.

Christian stuff. Yeah, yeah. Let's get away from that. He's freaking out because of the doxing. But okay. Doxing? I don't know. I don't know the word means.

I just been throwing it out there. He meant to say yeah. I was getting a laugh so I just keep saying it. You know what I mean? Did you see Furiosa? No. Do you watch any? What's the last movie you saw?

I saw this like weird one in Cannes which was like European and strange. No. Do you watch any? What's the last movie you saw? I saw this weird one in Cannes, which was European and strange. OK, what was it called? I don't know. It was European. But you were in Cannes just recently? Yeah, yeah. Why?

So nice. I wanted to see what parties I could get into using the gift of Gab. Oh, how'd it go? That is so interesting. A lot of the super, all the hot girls are in Cannes, right? Well, they're selling vagina. Yeah. Not me. Do you know the the do you know how Cannes works Bobby?

It is a film festival yes but the backdrop of that is yachts and selling vagina. You mean selling like it like the popcorn what are you talking about? Will you explain to me? Like you're... Hey badda badda badda I got popcorn. It can be like that. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah you're peddling pussy but like on the high end. Here's how, honest guys, this is about as true. I'm really bad at it. I don't know, I don't even, I can't read it. I don't know if somebody's just being nice or they're peddling pussy. Like I wouldn't be able to know the difference I don't think. Either way. If you look at them in the elevator they go hello. I go oh hi. Like how do I know that they're peddling pussy?

When they're like, that was $5,000. For saying hello? No, like after you've done your duties. No, what I'm saying before, like if, I'm at Cannes, okay? Let's say I'm at Cannes. I'm promoting Death and Ramen Part II. Yeah. Okay.

And I'm like, and then I'm at a party. How do I read if a girl is peddling or not if she's really really hot? Keep going keep going keep going keep going What she's really hot like like a really like so hot it like would it like make any sense? Cuz I don't know who you think you're talking to, but I've had really hot girls say hi. No, no, I'm sure. Yeah, yeah.

So I don't know what you're accusing me of. No, like if they're like super, super, super hot. Super hot. But like, you know what I'm talking about? A level, a level I've never had before. Elle MacPherson. Okay. Like, M. Rada.

Like, M. Rada, yeah. M. Rada. That's a great example. I have to be honest, the girl that I'm seeing right now is that level, I think. Emrata. She's pretty hot. I believe you. Is she Asian? No.

Oh. White. Jules said the Asian girl was like stunning. Yeah, so what I'm saying, I'm at a certain level, probably not peddling a level, at Cannes, but let's talk to me in a real way, you know? But you're so funny. Thank you. Wait, so how is it that you Cannes, but let's talk to me in a real way, you know? But you're so funny.

Thank you. Wait, so how was your experience at Cannes? You were just going to see how many parties you could get into. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And how many? How many? Were you successful? I got into like three.

Did you see any celebrities? I saw Victoria Justice. Never heard of that. Victorious? Victorious? What is it? She's like a Nickelodeon. Yeah. She's like a Dan Schneider baby. Oh, she is. Is that a star?

No. She's huge. Oh, she is? Okay, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What, what? What do you think? Yeah. Okay. Maybe not for your, you wouldn't know. Well, to me, a star would be George Clooney. Oh. I saw George Clooney. That would be like at a party with George Clooney. Oh. I saw George Clooney, and that would be like at a party with George Clooney.

I saw Adrian Brody. He's big. There we go, the piano. There we go, now we're talking. You probably saw his nose first. No. Okay. No.

You see the nose in a room and then you turn around, oh, that's him, okay, all right. The guys with big noses are like. They're so hot. So. I'm a bad guy. So good. Yeah, flat noses are good... They're so hot. So... I'm a bad guy. So good. Yeah, flat noses are good too, you know?

Right guys? Come on! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Flat nose, right? No, do I have a big nose? I love that. No, do I have a big nose? Anyway, so you're in an open relationship with this guy.

Are you in love or no? Yeah, I'm so in love. Yeah, and then a marriage or no? Yeah, one day. Really, with him? Yeah, with the same guy. Are you in love or no? Yeah, I'm so in love. Yeah, and then a marriage or no? Yeah, one day. Really, with him? Yeah, with the same guy. You know for sure? We've been together since 2019, yeah.

Oh. We're legit. Legit, we're really legit. Did you guys start off open? Yeah, we always started open. Yeah. I never wanted monogamy. But do you guys talk about like,

people you've worked out with or no? Yeah, I mean, I like to hear it. He doesn't like to hear it for me We like to hear from him. Yeah, he likes to know the facts like he likes to know like okay you fucked five guys Thanks for letting me know oh wow and what's the situation like when you come back home is it like Cuddles I mean of course there in a relationship But is it like that's just the information does he need to know where you are like safety wise? Yeah, I'll tell him where I'm at.

Yeah. I like when he fucks other girls, I like to hear like every detail, like the back shots and the curvature and everything. That makes sense to me. That's pretty hot. I like to know if they're hotter or worse. I just can only be intimate with one person at a time.

Yeah, that makes sense. You know, it's like sharing something with one person and I want to give them, and hopefully I get everything from them too. It's just sharing intimacy, I just, I can't do it. Because my fear would be this, okay? Is that your guy, right? Don't you have this fear?

And then he starts having feelings for somebody. Oh, we're allowed to have like crushes and stuff. Yeah, but what if he falls in love with somebody? That's okay. Then you would have two girlfriends. Oh, it's heaven. That's what you're saying. Heaven.

Oh, the best scenario out there. See, George, you're doing it wrong. You really are doing it with the kids, you know what I mean? Maybe if, wow, that's interesting. But if it's not in your nature, you cannot force ethical non-monogamy. If it just doesn't sit right with you, you can't force yourself into that situation.

Like if you're just somebody who loves one-on-one and it makes you feel safe, it makes you feel grounded, your nervous system can't handle the other stuff, then you shouldn't get into it. I think if I just don't ask, I think I could be fine with it. I just wouldn't want to know. But you don't want to white knuckle it either. You guys seem like you're very comfortable in it.

You've been doing it a long time. Yeah, I look down at information. I feel like it'd be weird if we hung out with a bunch of girls and then you fucked all of them and I didn't know. I should know. You know what's so funny. That's my fear, too. I don't want to be the The not knowing person in the room yeah Yeah, but here's what I wouldn't want either. It's like hey I know it's last minute, but I have to go to this event and can you know I'm with you know me natron

Right and then I'm with you know I mean Neytron right and then I'm like whose name is Neytron? Well whoever you know what I mean? What's the name? Finnegan. I'm with Finnegan you know what I mean? I'm like oh okay well have fun that would break my heart. Yeah but also why didn't you tell me sooner about the event? I said it was last minute. And how what's the event? Cans film festival. Sundance, let's switch it. Sundance, man. Are you in the film? Yeah.

Okay, then I'm there. Natron, sorry, like I love you, you're my priority. Like we're in this relationship together. Oh, so would you do that? Yeah. You would cut whoever you're with and go back to? Wait, what's the scenario? Like you have like a cool film festival.

And I wanna hang out with my friend. All right, so you're with that, so you met an Asian guy.. Yeah I love him. You love him. Can we give him the name? I don't want it as a real name. Ling. Joe? Cho. It's like an Asian name. Okay yeah all right. So Cho, you're with Cho. The doctor. Holy shit. You're Cho the doctor. Dr. Cho. You're with Dr. Cho. And you're at his penthouse. Love it. There's candles. Right? And you hear... You know what I mean? What was that?

Probably someone wet or something. I don't know. You guys are ready. You guys are ready. I'm sorry. But anyway, and then all of a sudden, you know what I mean? Doug, let's just call the guy that you know your boyfriend Oh Doug calls it yo you know you know you got to be here at this party right now it's very important because you know would you leave Dr. Cho can Doug give me like 30 minutes yeah what's 30 minutes yeah Yeah that sounds fair right Jim? Right son? That sounds fair right?

Yeah yeah so you're giving me such a last-minute notice. Right. You gotta let me finish. But like if Dr. Cho's like me though right I like to take my time. I'll tell Dr. Cho to you know like hurry up a little. Oh alright. Or he could just give me like head. Eat you out. And then I can go. All right, you want to come? Yeah. Okay, interesting, interesting.

Okay, good. It's my right. It's your right as a citizen. As a woman. And as a citizen, American citizen. United States. Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're not an American citizen? Yes.

Okay, okay. Whoa, that was a pause. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'd be nervous. Do you have dreams of doing mainstream stuff, like movies and being an actor and stuff? Yeah, I think it'd be cool. Yeah, that'd be cool, right?

I just started doing improv at Groundlings. Oh, whoa. Whoa, I think you'd be great. Yeah. Yeah. I think it'd be funny. Stand up? I don't think I could do stand up. Oh, okay.

I once did a stand up. I used to work at a Japanese-themed maid cafe where we would do a talent show at the end of it, and they would auction this off to guys afterwards. And how does that work? Can you start, sorry, though. So it was a Japanese what that you worked at? A Japanese-themed maid cafe.

Okay. Yeah, yeah, but my talent was doing a stand-up routine of me faking an orgasm, which is me just fake orgasming for an extended period of time. And then they would auction you off after, based on your performance? Yeah, if they thought I was funny.

Well funny, and who are the auctioneers? Who's, what is the demographic of people they're actually paying? Cloud looking for a job. Asian people. Really? Yeah, we're at the anime convention. Oh, that makes sense.

It's an anime convention. Yeah, yeah. Whoa. I love Attack on Titan. OK. That's like really cool. I'm not familiar with it. You know Attack on Titan?

No, I know the big people. Yeah, yeah. Other people are so small. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. If the big people are big yeah yeah I mean if the big people are big we just assume that the other people are small because if they're the same height then they wouldn't be the other ones wouldn't be big yeah okay but Attack on Titan would be because I was pitching like I was talking to some anime guy

that like he owns a lot of IP rights to you know I mean anime shows yeah he doesn't have that one but he was like what a great TV show that would be don't you think like yeah oh my god so hard to I think I think we have the technology to do it now yeah to be big and small at the same time yeah after at man I think we can do it now yeah yeah you know you think? I mean, Ant-Man did it. Yeah. Yeah. So how hard could it be? I don't know.

It's just such a beloved series. Yeah, you have to do it right. You would have to nail it. You'd have to nail it in the head, my friend. I know. And who would play Mikasa? Do you know the names, huh? I don't know, but casting,

first of all, let's write the story. We cast later. Okay, that's true. Because I feel like that's very important because people really do like start to hate on who you cast, right? Yeah. Well, I have an animated show.

Would you do a voice on it? Oh, hell yeah. That'd be fun, huh? Everyone here is gonna get a call to do a voice, by the way. Yes. Not you, Alex. And you're just gonna cost $100. I'm not gonna do it.

You know what I mean? And you live in LA? Yeah, downtown. can we be friends or no we are friends no we're not you follow you We're not friends yet, and you don't follow me But you're on my close friends What are the rules for your close friends I go ape shit you don't don't. What is it? Oh, I see. Kazumi's world. Kazumi's world. How about to solidify the friendship? I follow you. I think I follow you. You guys should all share one intimate fact about yourself to the other person. Intimate. Like how intimate? Like your heart. Your heart. Something, uh, vulnerability. Uh. Which one is it? Oh, I'm like super shadow ban because I'm a naughty girl. Is it verified?

Follow back. Yeah, I'm a blue check. I'm important. One million. Whoa. That's one million Jerker offers. You already have the following? One million and one. Yeah. It's too late. Oh, you are Shadowban. I know. I'm so shadowban. What does shadowban mean? It's like when you... You have to type out the whole name, right?

Yeah. I'm exiled. But so are all the biggest names, like Angela White. She's Shadowban. You've done a scene with her, right? Yeah. You want to know something? So my boyfriend, his job last year was making long-form content into short-form content So he was in charge of making Angela White's like short form out of your guys

Podcasts so we like listen to that podcast like 72 times. God. We love her so much. I love her Yeah, I showed her my butthole. Yes. Yeah Is that like a thing you do? No, I don't know. It was the first time and every time no We do show it to miss Pat. Oh, yeah, miss miss Pat was there something wrong with it or was no it's it's it's Shockingly beautiful. Oh, no, no, you don't deserve it yet. You don't deserve it your attitude stinks Really stinks, but my point is is that I'll show to you one day. Okay. Oh dad. I hurt your feelings I can show you my but I don't want to see your butth Okay. Oh, did that hurt your feelings? I can show you my butthole. I don't wanna see your butthole. Oh, okay.

FYI. Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I'm gonna look at it later. Okay. Probably online. Yeah, you can Google it. Can I Google your butthole?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do it, don't. No, no, no, I don't wanna, yeah. I'll do it later in my private quarter. You've seen my butthole, right? Nope. I feel like you totally have. All right, wait, wait, you follow her? Yeah, I've seen your butthole? Nope. I feel like you totally have. Wait, you follow her?

I've seen your butthole Kazumi. It's beautiful. And have you seen her OnlyFans? Hmm? Have you seen her OnlyFans? Hey my family watches this. Have you? Yes. Yeah you have. So you've seen her butthole? Yes. Sorry, mom. Oh, let me ask you this. Let me ask you this. Jess, Jess. Yeah, no. Yes. Good butthole?

Yeah, it's good. Yeah, yeah. I wanna bleach it. Oh yeah? Yeah. That'd be cool. Yeah, yeah. Wait, is Pornhub still banned in Texas

or did they overturn that? No, you can't watch Pornhub. Damn, what are you doing these days? VR, I have a VR set now. Oh, you watch porn, you're a VR? I can't still, no. Okay. But? VR and I have a VR set now. Oh you watch porn your VR. I can't still know okay, but the art you should get a VR I haven't done VR yet. It's pretty like an oculus. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I have that. Yeah, what's so good about it? It's cool You're like an honor bridge. I have it with me. I take it everywhere with me My friend got banned from Southwest for jerking off on the plane. Oh, yeah

Really yeah, yeah, well, yeah, that's the body torso thing. Oh, I mean that seems a little war that's not Yeah, yeah, like the headless armless one. Oh, yeah, how much are those like 500 doll? That's it depending on body and texture Yeah, that's actually a lot cheaper than I thought Yeah, I think I want to help my masturbation game because the ring is worn out The I have a flashlight. I don't want I don't the flesh was it work for me I have a flashlight in my butthole also that maybe No, what I'm saying is that I need a torso thing. I think do they really take like an exact mold or is it just like? Kind of sort of yeah. Yeah,'ve logged it on Pornhub.

It was if they like actually mold your vagina from the okay. That makes sense. But you're not a fleshlight guy. No, I think I want to try a torso situation. Try it. Yeah, I know. Like what? Like how big with the boobs? It's not about the boobs. I just need vibration. Oh, like you need to see the jiggle.

Yeah, the jiggle. No, I like vibe. I don't know why. Like like you need to see the jiggle? Yeah the jiggle. No I like vibe I don't know why like like what are you looking at man? You like the Hitachi wand? No I like when I like when it's like I use my penis more like a clitoris and I like vibration on it. It really turns me on. If you put your penis in a chastity cage and then you get fucked in the ass you'll have a lot more internal orgasms Totally why don't we try that? That's all Bobby. That's how you and I reunite Okay, anyway, um

Thank you so much Do you have a podcast? No, you should get one. Oh my gosh. I can say dude her and angela would have a good one Yeah, you guys would you should have one. I think you can do it. You're funny Angela gave me and my boyfriend our first Wait your first threesome. Oh, yeah, first raw threesome. What's a raw three things like a no condom? Well, we were having trouble finding a guy to have a threesome of us Yeah, so we called on tape or just just on on a scheduled day Like we were supposed we had a threesome, but you're not gonna film it No, we filmed it but it was like at this time at four p.m. I could be a volunteer.

We need more Asian representation in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How about this, we do it one without films. We'll do rehearsal. You guys rehearse, right? Yeah. I need to practice. We have sex still.

Oh, blocking, we need blocking. I need blocking. But I'm method, so it has to be the real thing. Genuinely, Bobby, I think that you would be like Kazumi and be like a.01 performer, top performer. The people wanna see your butthole. I think so. I think the demand for you is so high right now.

All right, so if people stick things in my butthole, no penises, but like objects, that would be the end of my Hollywood career. I don't think so, I don't think so. There's so much crossover now. People are understanding the landscape. I don't think so, I don't think so. There's so much crossover now. People are understanding the landscape. I don't wanna test out those waters. I do not think so.

I'm right here. I'm like the future. You are a future, we're all future. All of, sweetie, like you have girls like Chloe Cherry, who's in Euphoria, she's like a beloved actress, but also a porn girl. I'm telling you right now. But have you done reverse,

reversed somebody that was more mainstream and then went there? When have you ever been mainstream? You've always been kind of irreverent. That's true, I can make it, I can make it, I can make it. So all I'm saying is- You're right, okay, okay, okay. So anyway, Kasumi, I had a pleasure talking to you.

Did you have fun tonight? I had so much fun. I thought, wow, don't you think? Yeah. That the scenario was fun? Very good. You know we next time you come on because we want you have it back on but let's try to stay away let's talk about other things. Yeah. About like foods. There's so much about you I want to know. Yeah there's some foods. Like food? Yeah yeah yeah. Like foods and other things so know, is it Jodi? Yeah, it's me. Alright, so let's switch. It's me.

No, stay here. Stay here. Can you stay here? Yeah, I can stay here. Hi. She's promoting her special. Oh my gosh, hot girl. Yeah. Jodi, hi. Sit down, please. Hi.

How are you? How are you? Kasumi. Kasumi. Nice to meet you. Yeah, yeah. And Haimi's gone. How about a round of applause for Haimi? He's gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Hi, Bobby. Hey, stay here with us for Jaime? He's gone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi Bobby. Hey, stay here with us, okay? I'm here. Hi, so I want to introduce our next people that, my friend that's come in. For years she used to open for me, remember? I do. And we did the worst gig we ever did a long time ago was at Bananas.

Remember that place, Bananas? Oh my God, in New Jersey. In a hotel. And then the host called me Billy Lee. Remember on stage? That's right. The host called me Billy Lee. There was nobody in the audience,

and at the end of the weekend, the owners came up to me in tears going, if you, they gave me the check, and they go, if you cash this check in, our business is well. I remember this. Yes. So I go.

So we cashed the check. No, no, right. So I said, just give me half the amount. So they gave me half the amount so I didn't just, that's how bad, but you've been in the rough spots with me. I have, can I tell you, we were in Chicago performing and it was like a first show, second, on Saturday night, the second day,

and you were pretty much naked in your underwear, dancing around, dancing around as you do, closing bit, and you fell right off stage, do you remember that? Yeah, I remember. A comedy club, yeah. Fell off, and I'm off to the wings, down, but like a true professional, he got right back up, just started shaking his shit.

Shaking my papal. I actually was sitting there looking at him as he was shaking his papal, and I'm thinking, he's okay, or I'm headlining the rest of the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what? Showbiz, you just keep going forward, my friend. Keep going, yeah. And so Jodie, you know, we,

you know, I've always thought she was one of the funniest people in the world, and she has a special out. I do. Is it on, where's it? It's on YouTube right now. It's called Decades in the Making. Yeah, Decades in the Making.

And I also want to talk about Jodie because I think you're the first comic to do this, but about your daughter. Yes. Tell us about that experience. I adopted a daughter and yeah, she's hot. She's a really hot baby. How old is she now?

She's three and a half. Wasn't it a situation where you're like, hi, we have a baby here, come tomorrow? Basically, I've been trying to get pregnant, and then I couldn't get pregnant, and then I was on a wait list for almost two years, and then it was a Sunday night. I was sitting at home.

I had just finished a podcast. I was eating a bowl of whipped cream, watching the Gilmore Girls, because that's what you do on Sunday nights, as you know. And then my adoption lawyer called me, and I picked up, and I just thought he needed some extra stuff for me. And he just said, you've been selected. And I said, for what?

Oh, like a raffle. Yeah, well, I had sent my stuff in for this birth mom who gave birth, but I've done it so many times, you don't even think about it. It's like an audition, you just sort of just let it go. And he was like, you were selected. And I said, for what?

And he's like, a baby was born, you were picked and you need to get on a plane tomorrow in the middle of a pandemic. Go to Kentucky. I literally remember that. Yes, yeah, that was the most traumatic thing by the way was going to Kentucky. So traumatic.

Is it like a random baby or can you like, or is it like Tinder? What do you mean by that, Kazumi? Like, is it like Tinder? Like you can choose the baby? You know, it's a, it is. No, it's not like Tinder dude. Kazumi.

Swipe ups. Dude, 50 babies were born out of one woman. It was like one baby. You get that one baby. I get ghosted by so many babies on Tinder. They never call me back. That's a really good question because I, I do have that.

Very good question. Very good question. You do not get to choose, right? There is and to answer your question, it is actually, it's so funny that you said that because I would refer to that, and I think I did in the special, as sort of like being on a dating app

because you do put together a packet with pictures of you looking like you've got your shit together and you're trying to match with a birth mother or a birth family and they choose who they want to raise their kids. So it is kind of like that, you're going through that and then hopefully- Oh, so the mother looked at your photo and looked at that one want to raise their kids. So it is kind of like that. You're going through that and then hopefully.

Oh, so the mother looked at your photo and looked at that one. Yep, she did. That would be a good mommy. She did, and you know what? I mean, we have an open adoption, and I send her pictures all the time, and we text a lot. And this was an interesting part of the story. My daughter was her 13th pregnancy,

and then a year and a half later, she emailed me and told me she was pregnant again. Again. Again. Again. And wanted me to have the baby, and I was like, I can't be outnumbered. So I said I couldn't, but let me ask around,

and two of my very good friends, Jess Golden and her wife, adopted my daughter's half brother. Oh my God. And they live around the corner, I'm not even kidding, they live five minutes away. Oh, I got goosebumps, what a miracle straight from heaven. Yep. So they'll know each other.

They do already, yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's a year and a half and my daughter's three and a half years. Are there get togethers with them? Yes. Oh, because they have a relationship already. Yes. And they know they're siblings.

Yes, they do, but I mean, he doesn't really know because I have an older son too, who's also adopted. So there's a five year- he's five and a half. I don't know about the older one. Sometimes they go wrong, right? Anyone else want to move on? I've seen too many babies. She like loves making babies? She is a meth addict, so probably.

But those are good babies. They are really good babies. She's great babies. Energetic babies. They're happy. They've got so much energy. They don't sleep much and they don't eat, but yeah. She's great.

She's so low in maintenance. But that's crazy that you were living basically this like single life. Yes. And there was a pandemic. Yes. With no plants, no crib, no car seat, no nothing. I had nothing.

No formula, nothing. Nothing. And the next day you're off to Kentucky. I'll tell you what, a lot of comics, female comics, Sarah Tiana being one of them. I had nothing. No formula, nothing. Nothing. And the next day you're off to Kentucky. I'll tell you what, a lot of comics, female comics, Sarah Tiana being one of them. I love her. Stepped right up and dropped it off. Sarah Tiana, let me just say this about her.

One of the greatest human beings I've ever met in my lifetime. I love her so much, I'm getting emotional about even saying it. Just kidding, this is my time though. I'm gonna forget for fuck's sake. But who else, who else helped you? I guess some other comics that you probably don't know.

But they're also really great. Everybody was great. They really stepped up and helped me and dropped everything off. I had nothing. Literally nothing. I would eat turkey with nothing. My baby was born early. She had meth in her system, but she's healthy, don't worry. And she just got a three year chip.

Hey. She's doing so well, she's doing really well. And is she, I mean obviously she's three, she knows you as your mother, the mother. She is literally. She goes mama or what she should call you? She calls me mommy. Mommy and then is she a good child?

She's a really good child. You know what she said the other day? What? We were just taking a bath and I said Mackenzie cause that's her name. I go boys have penises and girls have vaginas and mommy has a vagina. So what's mommy?

And she goes, super. And I'm like, she knows she is. I'm like, you are. So cute. Oh my gosh. She says, I love you so much. That's what she says. She does? you are. So cute. Oh my gosh, she's the cutest thing. She says I love you so much. That's what she says. She does?

I love you so much. Oh my god. I love you so much. Do you take her to places? What do you take her? I take her, we just went, where did we go? Farmer's Market. We went to Farmer's Market, we went to Discovery Cube,

we go to bars, whatever, whatever I can take her. I feel like there should, I don't understand, like I don't have the patience for, I'm not patient, I can't imagine being a parent and taking your kid under five or even under seven to Disneyland. It's like I don't have the patience for, I'm not patient, I can't imagine being a parent and taking your kid under five, or even under seven to Disneyland. It's like they don't have a full. Oh yeah, yeah. They don't even know what Mickey Mouse is.

No, she do, of course they do. She does, yes she does, she loves Minnie. Oh she does? But it's like it's such a trek, it's so exhausting. It is, everything is exhausting. Going to Rite Aid is exhausting, going anywhere is exhausting. Why, tell me more. Because it takes forever to get them out of the house.

It's like... I don't wanna go! Not even that! It's like putting shoes on. Oh, okay. That was pretty good. That was good. That was a really good impression to a three-year-old.

Does the baby look like you? Like do you choose babies that look realistically like yours? You know, she kind of looks like me, but I think because she mimics my facial expressions, but I love every time you say baby you go this. Like if I was your baby I would be just doing this all day so I can have a skinnier face like yours. I would do that to you, too Yeah, okay, that's very good

My mom did like we she was she grew up with really like ears all yours And so when my sister and I were born, she like taped our ears back. You can get that, you can get a surgery. Could I? Go ahead. No, I was gonna ask you something personal. Yeah, go ahead.

Are you still writing on that show? Yes. What's it called? Funny, you should ask. Okay, I'm gonna ask you something very personal about that, okay? They had me on one time. I know.

No, stop. I want you to be very honest. I'm gonna be very honest with you. You are? Yes. And I me on one time. I know. No stop. I want you to be very honest. I'm gonna be very honest with you. You are? Yes. And I thought I did okay. You did great. They never asked me back.

I know. Why? I honestly- Okay. Be honest. Right now in my life, I want transparency. I want honesty. I can handle anything.

That's because- So why? He doesn't like me. No, it's because you do a really bad impersonation of a three-year-old. No, it's because honestly, he's never given a reason and that is the honest truth. So when you came on, yeah, I was the head writer

and I was very excited to have you on and now I'm the executive producer, so I'm even more excited to get you back on. You're not gonna get me on. Every time I bring it up, this is exactly what he says. Yes, love Bobby, love Bobby. You've been on comics on leash, all of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and my point is that

there's no like, what's up, like, he doesn't understand. He doesn't understand. Listen, I'm not gonna stop trying to get you back on. I don't want, you know what? This is, Byron, look, Byron Allen, right? I will never do it. Okay. What, right? I will never do it. Okay. What, okay.

I will never do it. For real? I wanna do it so bad, but I will never do it. Because I'll tell you why, Louie who passed, I love it. Louie, yeah. Love him. Great. Love it, still on it?

Still on it. Love him. Great. That's the thing, everyone on it too are my friends. People I know. I know Jeff Ross, Whitney. Yeah, Whitney, everybody. Whitney, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Is it because, is it the Korean thing? Yeah. He did say if you were Chinese. What other Asians have done it? I think you're the, oh Margaret Cho. There you go. Interesting.

How many times? Byron, Byron, Byron. She's been on three different times. Oh, three times. Three times, and I've been once. So that's four times. How many shows have they done? A lot.

How many, thousands? No, like we just wrapped season seven, but there was obviously the pandemic. So we've done 400, or 465. 465. So you've had four times an Asians appeared on over 400 episodes. Interesting, Byron.

Byron, very, very interesting to me. Good to see you. Anyway, so you're the executive producer now. Oh my, congratulations. Killing it. It's a great show. But Jodie is, honestly, you're a great comic. You know why I love using you?

Complete reliable, I could leave the room, you're gonna kill, just faith. You know, sometimes I bring people on the road, I have to watch. I got it. You know what I mean, I go, this is a rowdy crowd, you never a problem, you're a fucking professional, so funny, and her special, Jodie Miller,

decades in the making, which is probably true, right? It is, it's decades in the making. Where'd you shoot it? Shot it at the Ice House, the newly renovated Ice House. Can we talk about that for a second? Yeah. How do you feel about it? How do I feel about what?

The new Ice House. I mean. Let's be real. There I am. You look good. Thank you. You look hot. Thank you.

Was Abby there? Yes, she was there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was. We have the same manager, by the way, Abby Levitan, if you ever want to know. You know, the shows themselves were amazing. Let's talk about the club! Let's talk about the club!

I mean, here's the thing, it just like recently reopened, so I enjoyed it. You love it. Greatest club in the world. It's the best. Am I supposed to say it? Yeah love it. Greatest club in the world. It's the best. Okay. Am I supposed to say what is that? Yeah, it's the best club in the world. It's one of the greatest clubs in America. I saw Pasadena.

Been there forever. Been there forever. It has. It's legendary. You know what I love about that club is because it really is in the story of comedy, the history of it, it belongs in the same category as the Comedy Store.

It really does. It's been around for that long. The Fishers who owned it for so many years were great comedy people, like a family to me. And I'm glad it's up and running. It is one of those clubs that you can walk on stage and just say hello and people start laughing. It's like one of those, you just feel like

this is such a great club, especially coming outside of LA. I'm glad that it reopened. I haven't been back since I shot the special, but I am gonna be back June 14th. Check her out June 14th live, Joanie Miller. Live. Yeah, I mean, it was, there was a lot of drama afterwards, just getting it edited and getting things done, as you know,

but I think it just, I think it's representative of decades in the making. Everything seems to take decades, doesn't it? Yeah, but it's out. It's out. Everyone check it out. Check it out. And she's a dear friend of mine. And I can't thank you enough. I honestly tell so many, especially young comics, how great you are because he would honestly, I'll never never forget we're at the Laugh Factory in Long Beach There was somebody that literally just performed for what like they did an opening spot a guest spot And you walked right up to them and you were like how much time do you got do you want to come on the road? Like you would give anyone an opportunity. I'm opportunity guy. He really is that it's a huge thing in this industry

So many people will just be like that's the shit. I read on fucking online about me But like you know I wish those stories fucking went around. No, you are sweet. Oh, he's a good guy, yeah, I'm a good guy. I wish those fucking stories would go around. I'm gonna start it, I'm gonna start that change. Instead of kill yourself, I'm like, what? Anyway, so Jodie, what else,

do you wanna plug in anything else? No, just follow me, just everybody follow me. Everyone follow Jodie Miller and also watch her show the Byron Allen very good guy Thank you for that one time Thank you on YouTube and also check around the way you have a website Yes, Jodie Miller comedy. Yeah, and just actually on Instagram, just follow me on Instagram. Yeah, she's just a veteran. She's been, you know, she's one of the best and support my friend. Okay, everybody give Jodi a round of applause. Thank you.

Kuzumi a round of applause. Give Jaime a round of applause. And let's give a round of applause for America. Yeah. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.