TigerBelly - Korean Thanksgiving w/ David So & Peter Kim

Episode Date: November 26, 2024

Welcome to our Korean Thanksgiving with returning guests David So & Peter Kim. We chat The Devirginator, pudge-lords, Korean vampires, cheezy chopsticks, and the nuclear shadow of Joel Kim Booster. DraftKings is offering a warm welcome to new players with ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS INSTANTLY IN CASINO CREDITS with just a ten dollar wager. Plus, EVERYONE can get in on the action with a holiday reward every week! So, sign up with code TIGERBELLY because the holiday cheer is here! Only on DraftKings Casino.

So we did a couple of sold-out shows at the main room at the comedy store. Actually, that first donut, too, was very good. I just got the flavor. It comes later. It comes later. After the second one? Yeah, it comes later. And so the first show was great.

We had Spade was on it, a couple of other people, Rick Glassman. and then we had Dax Flame go up in the second one Oh, I see, he's amazing So we were like, we're gonna do Dax Flame and Jaime

as a 10-minute bomb block Was that on the sheet It said a bomb block? Yeah, it's bomb block. I was just gonna go This is a piss break. I don't know, I'm sorry. That was a piss break

and I Dax took a second to get going but it was just a bizarre performance. and you could just tell that whatever he's doing is working because none of the jokes really are great but he's so weird that the audience just love him and then they didn't even hear Jaime's intro because he did it.

He went out, Jaime, that was his intro. So no one ever even heard it. So then Jaime just goes up there. I wish you would have said, bro, you didn't even say my name or whatever, but no credits. But you,

What's so funny? I just want to have Dax giving High-A's credits. I know. What do he say? It was literally like, I mean, and I was like, when he finished,

I went into the audience and I went in, I tried to get that to applaud. And in the applaud, applause, he said your name really quietly.

So then it didn't even seem like he even brought you up, so you just kind of ended up being at the mic. And I went, oh no, you know? But then I'm like,

but they really liked you. I think you did a very good job. I think your jokes were there. Very confident. It was very impressive. Highly, highly impressive. Were you scared? Yeah.

Here's another thing I like about you is that in the green room, you don't make a fuss. You almost say you blend into the wall because there's a lot of people that are like, you know. Andrew's there with his mood. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? His gray cloud.

You know what I mean? You got, you know what I mean? Chaos. I hear of Harlan Williams there. and you just sit you stand there with your hands in your pocket you don't say anything with your little smile

and you don't you're not intrusive you know how to blend it's just it's professional attitude I really commend you thank you thank you thank you thank you to you thank you thank you thank you for the spot thank you thank you thank you what thank you for the spot

thank you I have to say thank you last so don't say thank you again okay thank you for the spot Thank you. Don't do it again because I have a thing. If you do it again, it's going to keep going. There can be problems. There'll be problems.

Stop. Don't say it again. I appreciate it. That's better. He could have committed to it, yeah. So you flew, you were, you were, LA Tuesday, you flew back to Dallas. Wednesday. Wednesday.

And then what happened? A show? When? On Thursday? Yeah. No, I was home for the Halloween for the family. Oh, for Halloween thing, thank you. Why the Halloween family thing?

You like it? Yeah, it's a family thing. What did you dress up as? Let me guess. Yeah, please guess. A gordito. What does that look like? I don't know.

I've never been to Taco Box. I've said it advertised, though. No, Texas Chainsawm Massacre. Leatherface. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's pretty cool. You want to see it? No, I don't.

But I would be, that would be funny if you were leatherface. That would just be so much. It wouldn't be as good. There you are. I thought it would be a cortita. That's actually, I eat that. Cheese of Grita French. It's surprisingly.

It is good. So you do eat that? Yeah. So when you go to the Taco Bell, what do you say to when you order it? Can I get two cheese of gorita crunches? Oh. So you did know what a gordita when I said it.

Yeah. Oh, you're just saying the name, but this is actually the name. Wait, I'm so confused. What do you call that when you go to Taco Bell? Oh, you don't eat Taco Bell. A gordita. They don't, No, that's not, it's a cheesy gorita crunch.

What's the second say you're saying? Give me the second word you're saying. Cheesy gorida crunch. Gorrida. Gorrida. But you just go to the drive-thru and say gorita, then like, what are you talking about? But it's not a gordita. It's not.

But I don't know why they have the thing. I think you're missing of what he's saying. It's because you, you. Isn't it a gordita? No, it's a gorita. Gortita? Gordita. Oh, then I got it wrong.

Oh, but he was saying gorrira. Yeah, anyway. Thank you. You're welcome. Very good. I woke up in a really bad mood because, number one, you shouldn't scroll when you wake up. Uh-oh.

See, I woke up, I started scrolling. Okay. And, which is weird because I just, there was no phone in my hand. I was just doing it in my mind. It's not even funny. Cut that out. It doesn't make any sense.

Please cut that out. Please get that out. We gotta see what the audience think. Okay, okay. Well, really? Yeah. No, dude. They get you, dude.

They don't get you. Tiger really gets you. So how about them Dodgers? I'm not done with what I'm saying. I'm not done with what I'm saying. Did she see the guy blew his hand off? Dude, let me finish what I'm saying and then we could go into like limbless fuckers, you know? What's going on today, man?

It's Thanksgiving, dude. So this morning, yeah, this morning I wake up and Francisco goes, bad loss today, which, I don't know, man. I mean, Arsenal lost again, and it's just, it's over already. So early in the season, we're not going to win the champ. We're not going to win anything. It's depressing. And then I saw a video of a dog eating a woman's face. Oh, she.

Which would, like, put me in the worst mood. You know what I mean? It was just like her going, an Asian woman, which it wasn't even her dog. It was like a stranger's dog, which, yeah, I think I think I'm on the dog side there. He was just protecting his life. Yeah. You know, she could have been like, I don't know what I mean, but you never know. But it really put me in a bad mood.

I saw a polar bear ate a seal. Okay. Guy, can I just say something? Really not the same thing. He's eating in the face. Really not the same thing. But yeah, I guess you're right. Yeah.

Is he? He's not, but do we have guests? What time? They're coming on their way. I saw your video to Tobavi when you. you greeted Atikalae because Atikowindah was making a birthday video. Yeah? And I saw your video.

And everyone saw it. And? It was cute. Oh. Was it a hit? Yeah. You were like, I love you so much. Happy birthday.

Yeah, yeah. Hey, people at the comedy store asked me about Dane Jules. I was like, no, like, she can do better. Way better. And let me say something. Don't even try. Try what? We have two different tastes than women.

What? What do you mean? What are your taste in women, you lesbian? Oh, we have different tastes. I have different tastes in women. She has different tastes in men. You ever have the phobia? I have phobias, yeah.

That phobia where, like, is holes in your hand. Oh, yeah. What is it called? Megaphombophobia. Something with tea. Trifobia? It's like there's holes. You've seen it before, right?

Like, there's like gaping holes on your arm. or like your feet. Is this helping your mood? It's good. Beehive warrior. What is this? It's like a beehive on the skin. Is that a real thing?

How does that happen? I'm not even sure. No, it's just the fear. Oh, but it doesn't happen? That, yeah. No, so those are just, it can happen. That don't think that can happen. No.

There's no way that can happen. No. It's just like the fear of. Because if that could happen, forget it, dude. I'm out. I'm out of life. I mean, that's in, if I got that, oh my God. Would you be bummed?

Yeah. Oh, my God. That would be terrible. Yeah, where's the guest, man? I'm just like, I don't know what's going on here. I can't do this. They're almost here. They're like four minutes away.

It's Koreans, man. Well, that's a lot of Koreans. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to yell at them. Do you know them? You know David So? Yeah, I've met him once. How about Peter?

No, no. Oh, you never read Peter? Oh, it's a riot. You're in for a gay treat. He's gay? Whoa, he'll be judging. The most gay. Hey, we said that same time.

He is one of the most gay's gays of all gays. Are they together? No, not gay. Yeah, David So is not gay. You should ask them if you ask them. Yeah, ask them there together, please. Yeah, yeah. Please ask.

Okay. Often do you visit Tito Bobby, be honest. N-E-E-E-R, never. I visit you here. When it's the podcast. When it's the podcast or if it's... Outside of work. Or if it's like, if there's a butcher box or whatever.

Or like the cat. She comes for a butcher box. It's the picture box there? I go, yeah, it's outside. Okay, I'll be right by it. And it doesn't even say hi. She just grabs it and leaves. Because I don't know if he has girls over.

And he likes to, you like to be alone. That's what I just said. I'm alone. Yeah. Yeah. So that's why I don't try to visit us. See the second? Here's what, I'll tell you what it is.

I'll tell you why I'm in a bad mood. It was just a lot this week in terms of comedy in terms of my ecosystem of comedy has been in the news almost and so it's just a lot of it's an onslaught of people's opinions

and since it's so tied in with politics it became really just a bummer you know and you know I don't want to really get into it in detail but because I don't do politics

but it was I don't know it just was tough I think for the whole community you know a lot of rage on some parts of

there's a lot of you know I went into a lot of deep and angry conversations with comics that don't like that kind of brand of humor but it's

what? Do you even know what I'm talking about? The Hinchcliff stuff? Yeah. Hmm. Is it that split? Oh my god. Look at this.

Hello. Wow. Hello. Why don't you greet me with such disdain? What time is that? Okay, I don't want to hear that. No, no, no. I'm sorry.

Hi. Hi. No, no, get out of here real quick. I don't know, I'm not gonna, dude. Just let me ask you a question, dude. Let me ask you a question, dude. What time is that? It's time.

You? Me? Why are you asking me? Two o'clock was the call time. I was here, too. He was in the green room. Oh, you were? Yeah, what time is it? What time is it? My brother's in the hospital.

Oh, no. See that? I lied, and he still didn't care. I believed it. Yeah, yeah. I lied, he still didn't care. So that's why I did. That's why I did it. You know what I mean? Oh, no. Dude, this guy here. Yeah, this guy coming here all like that.

Well, you were there the whole time? You could have been out here. I know. I was watching Cardi, Oh, you know you were? Yeah. You need to see Gardie B right now at all times. No, why are you dressed like Kim Jong-un? I'm not dressed like Kim Jong-un.

You look at flaredies. It's a fall. It's a full outfit. It's a fall outfit. Okay, okay, yeah. God damn it. It looks good. You lost a lot of weight, man.

Why does your eyes look more Chinese than it's ever been? I'm tired today. My dog, I'm fostering a dog right now. Yeah, yeah. I think she got poison. Really? She's like this. What?

Whoa. Chocolate? I think it was mold. Mold. Yeah, yeah. She went into the garbage can. Yeah. Probably from your dick.

Whoa. What? Welcome to our Korean Thanksgiving. Guys, please have some Korean donuts. I brought some Korean donuts. I apologize. That was too far. That was far.

That was far. That was too far. Oh, sure. Spring water. So what makes these Korea? They're from Seoul. It's from Seoul? The company, yeah.

Yeah. Let me ask you something. Let me ask you, Sondi Peter, right? He's like, they're from Korea, right? But I'm like, where is it from? They made in Korea town. They made in Korea town.

That's not from Seoul, then. What? No, I know. I thought it was like, you know, like sent over FedEx or something. That's what I thought too. Yeah. This is Korea. It's Yum.

It's Yum. It's Yum. It's not. Thank you so much for defending that. Yeah. Why? Were we having a discussion of if this is Korean or not? No, no, no.

But that don't... This is to Bobby complaining. Oh, okay. It used to be complaining. You take the red one. Well, I've seen you in a long time, David. You lost a lot of weight, man. I didn't.

Yeah, you did. Last time I saw you were huge. You look great. Last time he saw you, you were a lot bigger. Yeah, you were really big. That shirt looks tight. It's a shirt. It's a shirt.

It's a shirt. I think it's a shirt. You buy really skinny clothes because you're going to lose weight and it'll fit later. Right? That never works for me. I know, doesn't work yet. I just have a really lot of tight-fitting clothes. Because you're Pudge Lord.

We actually have two former. You're a punch lord, dude. What are you going to do about it? What are you mean? Me or him? I just said you. You're put you fat before? I'm fat now.

What are you going to do about it? You don't think I'm fat right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Chubby, chubby. Yeah, a little chubby. But I'm fatter than you though. No. Let me see your wrist.

Yeah, let's see your wrists. I have girl wrist too. Oh my God, dainty. This is a Korean wrist. You look great though. Oh, you know working out, dude. I haven't been, man. Yes, you have been.

You look good. What's happening? So positive you too. You know what, Koreans really get your good day going. Yeah. I was in a bad mood. I really was in a bad mood. He was talking to-

And then two Koreans come in, these two jolly fucking Koreans come in here. You know what I mean? One gay-gay and they just can really fucking put your mood in the right place. You do look, you do look like fit though. Was it the movie? Oh, can we talk? Are we not allowed to talk about it? No, you can.

Oh, okay. This is me listening. Oh, okay. You look shot. It looks so aggressive. I know, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Because you said, last time I texted you were camping or something like that.

Yeah, it was camping, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, it must have been hard. It was a human experience. I'd rather not experience again. It was your first time? What? That's your first time camping? Camping.

It's because it's shocking. That's why I responded that way. I know, but why do you talk like that? Because it's shocking that you've never been, you've been alive for 86 years. You never camp before? Jesus Christ. Dude, coming in with a better energy, dude. This is good energy.

Thanks, guys. No, I mean, I can't be when I was younger, but when I was a kid. Draft, Draft King Casino. Oh, oh. Draft, Draft, Draft King's Casino. Oh, oh. It's here to stay. It's the most wonderful time of the year, holidays on the house at Draft King's Casino.

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Voided Ontario. Eligibility restrictions apply. New customers only opt-in required. Casino credits are non-witherable and expire in 168 hours. Terms at casino.draftkings.com slash promos. M-M-A podcast, the casuals, M-M-A, my podcast, Genius Brain. Other than that, that's about it. Oh, Secret Society has our fall launch. We just dropped that. Anyway, Peter, hold on, hold on, hold on. All right.

I mean, come on. Came here on a motherfucking Saturday. Get them move merch. Secrets, S-C-R-T-S-O-C-I-E-T-Y. Our fall collection just dropped. Fashion basics for everybody. Fucking fantastic. That's that shit right there.

Hell yeah. Amazing shit. Love this brand a lot. Genius Brain every Sunday is at 12 p.m. and then the casuals MMA podcast in the morning on Thursdays. Or David, you also might do some future comedy shows.

Oh, yeah. We're getting a Bobby on there. I would love for Bobby and Peter to be on there. We have a genius brain show. We just sold out the first one, so we're planning to do another one in February. Oh, that's the best venue.

Ice house, yeah. Cool. Yeah, hi. You can find me two Kim's one pod on my pod. I've done that. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you got that that's it. The podcast to promote?

The Fat Fish podcast, me and Ralph. Ralph Barbosa. Well, yeah, Ralph Barboza. Jules, nothing? Jules promote something. Just find something. Find something to promote. Ebocean.

There you go. Ebozion. Very nice. You know, I told that story about me, my cousin, Andy, and I, about our uncles took us camping. And they set up the tent. I woke up, and they were gone. We woke up in the morning.

We were, like, walking around. the campsite, like, go so scared. And I can see our uncles drive up in the car and they stayed at a hotel. Wait, why did they leave you? Because he couldn't sleep, so they went to the hotel. Could you were snoring? What? Because you were snoring? No, they had two tent. Me and Andy had one tent. They had

another tent. They left at night, got a hotel, left us out there. In the tent, me and my cousin Andy. And we woke up in the morning. They picked us up. Oh, they were probably disappointed. You guys were alive when they came back. Yeah, they're just like, oh, wow. And then I hadn't been camping since then

And I realized, oh, it's not for me You know, a lot of people love survivalist stuff They like setting up traps Learning how it all works Yeah My boyfriend's like that You see? Yeah, Eagle Scout

You told me something interesting About your boyfriend You're now atop Right into it Wow What does this have to be All right What is this

Have been Can you even put a Chiron With your name on it People don't know your names. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're just going into my personal. Five, four, three, two, one.

You're top. No, no. Welcome to another episode of Tiger Valley. Say my name. My energy is a little, I don't know what it is. I'm just woke up weird or I'm just not in the, you know, in a jolly mood. It's just a dark cloud, a cloud. I woke, you know, sometimes you just wake up with a dark cloud over you.

Never. You know. Anyway. You have Yoda's eyes Have I ever told you that? Yeah, you always tell you. I don't understand How you can roast me about my eyes

I'm not saying that it's not a rose It's not fucking eyes That's not You have Yoda's eyes No, okay This is my biggest contention with you No, I'm not done with it David so

He goes, you're cross-eyed He's the most cross-eyed person He's the most cross-eyed person in the room He's looking at you and me at the same time Did I say anything about Peter's eyes? We all have the same eyes We all have the same eyes Shit!

We have squeany eyes Ask the non-crans What? Okay, look at our eyes. He has. Be careful guys. Why, why? There's.

Cats always been kind to you. Jules, go ahead. David has like a longer line. Yoda line. A longer Yoda. Longer Yoda like I. Tito Bobby has like small line. Exactly.

Thank you. And you have like a bigger one. Bigger. Wow. Oh yeah, size queen. But you can't. Okay. Let me just say something, right?

The stress bags, you can't factor those in. You're looking at the stress bags on his eyes Yeah Yeah, yeah He's all stressed out Because I'm top Why? It's hard being at top

Yeah Have you tried? No See? Wait, like What do you do? Yeah Wait, are you of age?

Yeah Okay She's 22, 21 You're 22 Okay, so we can talk about sex Yeah, yeah Okay Well, I just noticed

What I'm gonna do it a second Okay I will in a second Because it's my show actually You know To be honest with you Wait, you are Korean Right? Or you're a different type of Asian

No, we're all Korean Vietnamese. Yeah, what kind are you? I'm Mexican. Oh, shit. I look Asian. I could have never guessed that. Thank you. I think I'm not looking at you guys.

I feel like I'm like a descendant of like Asian. Yeah, you look kind of like maybe... Mexican as fuck, bro. Does he? You look like a racist drawing of a Mexican person. That's right. You look in a good way. Like a cartoon drawing.

We're very typical Asian looking at you're very typical. Yeah, yeah. You're on the same. side of building in Boyle Heights. Very typical for that. I don't know. What is that? Very Mexican neighborhood.

Yeah, very Mexican neighborhood. Okay. Yeah, we're all pretty. Hi, may please? Can I introduce or no? Say, go ahead. May I do the show? Yes. Okay. Yes.

Can I say one last observation if I may? Oh, gosh. Yes, please. What's so funny? What's going on here? I'll do it when I want to do it. I know. I'm fine with it. What's wrong, Alex? It's not going well?

Oh, it's going perfect. Because you're looking. You're looking at it as if, oh, this is a train wreck. That's train wreck, that's train wreck for a face. Okay. Why is like a majority of people in this room fat? I know, exactly. Me? Exactly.

So that Bobby feels good. Okay, okay. Can I make one last opposition? Yes. And it's not a bad thing. It's just that, can you push, let's see your sides? Huh? Yeah.

Your sideburns are thick, like wide. I've never seen it that wide before. Yeah, you want to see the whole thing? Yeah, let me see the whole thing. Whoa. That's son, you guys both have beautiful hair. Thank you.

Who? Me and who? You're like, you're like Pocafantus or something. Stupid. What? Looks so healthy. Yeah.

It feels like to get ahead of your hair. It looks healthy. Yeah. Anyway, let's introduce. Yeah. We have one guy here today. He's from the, just kidding news podcast.

I don't know. No, he's not. I haven't been on there. in like six years. I know, but you're from there. All right. Yeah, he's from the... The casuals of M.

M.A. Yeah, yeah, he's from the... Yeah, he's from the... Just Kid News podcast. All right. The casuals MMA. Yeah, yeah. Oh.

Yeah, yeah. Why the fattest photo? Yeah, yeah. That's the worst photo I've ever seen in my life. Look at the difference. Yeah, yeah. Honestly, it looks like you four months ago, so I wouldn't even be my hosting me like that.

Yeah, yeah. Did I put that up? Where did you know? He did it. We didn't. We didn't. Oh, man. So then, David Soe.

Woo! The next guy here is, you know... I'm listening. I'm a Mitu man, you know, awesome. So the next guy coming, he's a comic comedian. We sold a show that's never going to get made. Don't say that. It's been there for four years.

Okay. That's fair. Him and I wrote a show. Sold it to NBC. Wow. And it's been there for four years. That's not entirely correct, but okay, it's been a while. It's been a while.

How many years has it been there? At NBC? Yeah. Two. And how long was it in other places? Two. Exactly. Yeah.

It's never been. Anyway. It's been a long time. Yeah, yeah. It's never going to happen. Why are you mad at me about that? That's not my fault. I'm not giving you facts.

That's NBC's fault. I know. I'm giving you facts. Yeah, NBC. What's up? What's up? I know you're watching. I know you watching.

Is that a camera? Yeah. Over there. You're looking at nothing. Where's my camera? Yeah. Oh. Yeah.

What's that NBC? And let me see, in terms of gay Asians. Mm-hmm. They do comedy. Oh, no. What is that? Why did you? Take up that photo.

All the former. Literally, what the fuck is that? This is the one that your... My wife produced. That doesn't even look like you. Dude, what happened there, dude? You look like Benedict Wong. Yeah, yeah.

You know, I get that a lot. Yeah, you definitely look like... Like you won a Beavimbomb eating contest or something. What? Like a beeping bupub eating coffee. No, that was at the height of my like COVID depression weight. Looks so bad. Wait, I don't think it looks that bad.

It looks so bad. It doesn't look like you. That's how bad. Does it look that bad? Come on. Yeah, that's not yet. Wait, what's wrong with Benadiguan? No, there's not the thing wrong.

I'm just saying it's just not. It doesn't look like the person I'm seeing right now. Oh, okay. Well, yeah. Shit. What made you lose all the weight? No, I mean. I mean, that's when I gained weight.

Oh, so you were, this is not your normal state. This was at my, like, biggest, most depressed post-COVID. Did I know you then? Yeah, this was, uh, right after. I think just blocked it out with my mind. Yeah, you're like, you're like, ew. Araser, raise, eras, right. I don't want to look at that.

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for bringing that up. I mean, I mean, we have a lot of gay Asian comics out there. You got, um. Do we? Yeah, the guy from SNL. Bowen?

Bowen, Jay Jackson. And then we got... Bowen Jay Jackson? No, Bowen J. Jackson. And we got... What the... Boomerang? What's his name?

Boomerang? The other... A Joel Kimbooster? Yeah. Yeah. I don't know why call him boomerang. I don't know. Bo, maybe, the bow part.

Bowen, yeah. I think that, you know, in terms of... I think you buried all everything, buddy. You're so good. Oh, shut up. No. You're so good.

Ew. What the fuck is that face, dude? That the heck, I go. I hate you. What's the show that you guys wrote and sold? What's it about? It's about two brothers who are diametrically opposed but run a Korean spy in L.A.

Oh, yeah. Nobody's making it? Well, it's in pilot right now. We just finished the draft. It's never going to run. But not that attitude. Four years. Dude, shit takes long here.

Don't you know? Come on, you of all people know. It doesn't take that long. Yeah, it does. Things take a lot. Shell for like decades. They made first three Lord of the Rings movie

in four years. Okay. It's gonna, a 30 minute three camera sitcom is I think four years to make your mind. That takes one fucking day. There's no audience for them.

Polkin has like a massive audience. I know. There is an audience for it. Why use Lord of the Rings as an example? Wait, do you think your tiger belly audience would all show up for our spa show? 100%.

Do you think? I think all of, I think a lot of agents would, I think a lot of our fans would. I think it would do well. Do you think it would translate to non-Asians watching.

Like, why people... I think it would because I think that because of the internet they're like in tune... Look at Squid Games and all the things that are like very Korean.

They watch it. They low Korean drama. They love K-pop. It's also not even from Korea. It's a show about Americans in L.A. That's what I mean. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So I think it's a guaranteed hit.

Okay. But if they don't want to do it and the shit that they pick up is insane and I'm tired of it. I don't want to do it. You have a couple of shows you hate that NBC has made. No, don't do it.

No, it's not. No, it's not. It's not that, but you just see like the same, you know, you see this. Don't ruin your career. Not mine and yours. Just, no, no, no. If yours fine, alone. Like that lady, Riba.

What's her name? Don't talk shit about. Is that Riba. Yeah, what about her. There's another, there's a cheers like show coming out. Is that her? That's Riba show, yeah. Happy place.

Happy place, right? It just looks like cheers at her old show. They put it together. Our show has never been done before. That's why they won't pick it up. It's new. It's never been done. It's a topic that they've never done.

Yeah. It's fresh. It's, you know what I mean? And it's like, you know, here's my thing about also music even, you know. You know, if you listen to pop music, it's just rehashed chords, rehashed sound. Say, two chords. And it's turning Americans. You know, it's funny, I woke up this morning and I was scrolling.

And I saw Sonic Youth on David Letterman way back in the day. And I was watching them. And I'm like, it's so interesting because look how experimented. and different and just quirky and weird Sonic Youth is. And at the time when you're watching, you're going to, oh, I can't wait, 20 years.

Did I not know, I did not know that we were going to revert back to garbage. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Garbage. I know. You know? It's that generation. Garbage.

You know what I mean? Nothing experienced. You listen to my bloody Valentine's Loveless, 1990 album, right? Masterpiece. I played it in front of your beer. like, what is? I don't lie.

You know what? And I'm like, because your minds aren't open to new idea. Do you guys know any of the references he's making right now? You didn't play that in front of me. I didn't say you. You pointed at me and Joel.

I know, babe. Oh, you guys. I love how you just got defensive. You know, fight for your right. Go ahead. I know what he's talking about, dude. You do? Hey, dude.

So you know what I'm talking about? Yes. What did I just say? Lincoln Park. Right? Yes. To just drop Lincoln Park is wild. Yes.

Did Lincoln Park get a new vocalist, by the way? A woman. They did? Wait, it's a woman and a man, right? Because their latest sing... It is, right? There's like two vocals on the new. What?

The guitarist sings. He's the one that... Oh, that's the guitarist. Okay. Great. Anyway. I mean, don't you think that, like, television films... You watch films today.

There are some films in the 70s that they would never make now. No, it's too risky. There's like no one takes risks anymore. Yeah, it's, it's just, you know, I think some people do. I think there's some. 824? No, like, I thought, like, triangle of sadness was a fun. 824.

Yeah, that's what I. Sorry. Sorry. I didn't get validated, so I had to, like, stay louder. I just said that you're the funniest gay Asian in the world. But you said it with the face, like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think you're one of the funniest people in the world. I said that, no?

Yes, you did. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you guys feel that actors now are better or worse than back in the day, now? I think they're worse, but I think every generation feels that way. I feel like an ajoshi saying shit like that. You know what I mean? Like a boomer, kind of like, back in my day, like art was better or whatever. And I feel like every generation goes through that. And I think that too. And I love, thank you for bringing that up. You're welcome. Right. But unlike that generation, though, I do listen to new music. You know what I mean? I have so much new music,

you know, from new bands. You know what I mean? A couple of bands. Name them. I like a band called Dead, D-E-H-D, you know what I mean? I like... Do you like Chaparone? Yeah, I like them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, I like... Parfewan genius.

I think he's very, like, Bowie-esque. I think he's... Glam rock? A little bit. I think he does close to, you know what I mean? Stuff that I used to listen to a long time. I also just, like, we'll do a new musician and then just do a station

and listen to all the new shit that comes out. I do that all night long, every night. Right. And then I have, you know, if you look at my playlist here, you know, I, uh, yeah, there's some weird new shit that I listen to, you know? I don't think a lot of younger people listen to an album from front to end. I think nowadays it's like you listen to the hot track and that's it. And then you move on, you find the next hot track. And I only know about this because, you know, musician friends of mine, they'll go to these concerts. And then you'll see somebody whose song like popped off on TikTok.

And he said that when he was in the crowd, I forgot which artist it was. But this is an artist that they love. They paid for these tickets. And now they're going to go through their whole album. He said that everybody in the crowd stood there. with their arms crossed until that TikTok song came out. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a bummer. Which is kind of fun. That makes me go, Craig. Make me go Craig gray gray. Right. It was that thing that happened with, like, with Meth and Red when they were performing at, I forgot what it was, like, summer jam or some shit. And, you know, even though if you don't know who Methen Man is, like New York should know who they are. Yeah.

They were doing their shit. Nobody was moving. Now, just because you don't know. What is moving mean? Like dancing. Like being high? Did you hear about Charlie XXXX was just in L.A.? I don't like moving?

Moving is. The new lingo? Yeah, but moving is so general. Like, they could be just going, whatever. That's your autism. That's different. That's not dancing. Moving is anything.

You know, anything. Anyway, that was dancing. You're right, you're right. That seems to be an epidemic, I think, because Charlie X-TX was just, did you hear about that? She was just in L.A. and she was screaming at the audience for not moving. Oh, really? She was like, come on, get fucking high.

What's wrong with you? And everyone was. Maybe it's the music. No, her music's like, Like brat, you know. Is this it? Yeah, they were saying they vow never to. Is this red and-

This is meth. This is meth and red, right? Everyone's just sitting. Like, look, even if you don't know the song, you're at a fucking concert. Move. Move around. Look at, why are you in the front row?

Okay, now look at rage against the machine. See that audience. Also, it's too bright. This is what I'm used to. It's too bright. This is what I'm used to. Go rage against the machine. Live.

Oh, yeah. Why is the color up? It's too bright. Yeah. If the crowds get, you're bright. Ew. So the top. Dengro.

No, yeah. Oh, chinguro. Yeah, go to the other. Straight in it. Maybe go to the audience. Oh. I'm not sure about the corn rose. Oh, man.

That's wild. Yeah, the white corn rose is wild. Damn. Okay. Yeah, they're raging. Who's the actor that plays, what's it called? In Spider-Man, the villain, his son. James Franco?

Yeah, he looks like James Franco. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah. If the face, if he was in like Jamaica for too long. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh my. I mean, I mean, this, look at this. That's moving.

This is what I'm used to. That's moving. That's like, that's, I've been in the middle of that. That's moshing. I used to be in the middle of that. You've been trampled. No, I'm in the bottom. I was trampled once.

I was at a James Addiction concert and I was on the bottom. No way. And people were dancing on my body. You know what I had to get on your neck. I was one of those guys. I had to get pulled out and then they put me outside. Do people die in those? Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. That's what I'm used to. You know, I don't know what's going on, but maybe I am that old man, get off my lawn, kind of a guy. If you think I am, I am. Yeah, you're very, I mean, you're a 50-something, right? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

You're shy from 60. Oh, my God. That just dawned on me. My mom's 66. I know. I was super young. I was so young. I just dawned on me.

Wow. I'm going to die. I'm not. No. You look great. No, you looked in. You lost a lot of weight. Yeah, you lost weight. Yeah, you lost weight.

Hang it on there. Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, we're good. We're good. It's colorful and happy. Eat a donut. Wait. Are you gay?

Yeah. It's because I do that too, but I don't know if I'm gay now. Oh, my God. Oh. Is that gay? No, that's just fabulous. Oh. What made you think he was gay?

Because I said, oh my God. Well, was it the fact that he already said he was gay? Yeah. I thought you were the greatest gay for he. He was just teasing you. Oh, no, he's teasing me too. You're like, is this a relationship? Oh, no, we just met today.

We've been together actually, would you say like three months? Yeah, three and a half months. And you're at top. And you're at the bottom. Yeah, he's the bottom. Oh, kidding me. Yeah.

He's taller than me, so it's hard. Yeah. About three and a half months we met at Barney's Beanreary. Barney's Beanrear. Yeah, Santa Monica. It was pretty cool. Yeah. Wait, wait, look at me right now.

Yeah. I'm gonna look at your eyes. But I'm not afraid. But I'm not afraid. What are you doing? Is this Star Wars? Yeah. What a fucking nerd.

What a fucking nerd. Nobody got it but you, dude. You guys just got to with this Bobby Lee Bama joke. I was like, you will be. The whole room was silent. I like how it didn't work once. He said it three more times. Please.

Yeah, and look at the response. People are laughing now. Laughing at you. Yeah, yeah. Reducous. You didn't do it? Alright, let's move on. I don't look like you.

You don't like the top? No, what? You don't talk about it? No, we can talk about it. You mentioned it to me. There we go. Wait, wait. I want the volume.

Okay, here. You get to put the headset on. You want to. Kind of like my grandpa, dude, a little bit. Here's a voice. Headphones in front of you guys. Oh. You will be You will be

Yes Can we try it again? Yeah, yeah Yeah Teem him up, I bet he can do it now But I'm not afraid You will be Yes!

Just Photoshop Yoda's face Right there I don't believe! Yes, dude, yes Thank you so much for that We got it I'm sorry for Thank you, thank you Hi, May

Like the eyes? Yeah. Thank you so much. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Good point. Have you ever auditioned for anything

in like the Star Wars universe? I have. Oh, yeah. Oh, what? I think it was for one of the newer shows. It was like a nine-legged, like what? Mandalorian? It was like one of those.

Ooh. And it was for Farrow. John Farrow was producing or something. Who, did E.J., where's E. E.J. Yeah, he loved. I think E.J. I think E.J. helped me with the audition.

And I had like nine, you know what I mean? arms or something in it like a spider. Oh, you weren't a human? Of course not, dude. I'm not gonna be a human in that. I think my problem... You were like at a bar playing four inches.

No lie. You didn't even have lines. It's just like... Yeah, yeah. But I think I didn't know what to do so I think I fucked up by doing the whole audition like this. No. Yeah. Are you serious? Yeah, yeah.

Maybe you were playing a human. That's why. Yeah, maybe the strip is as human, but I was just like... Oh, no. But I didn't even. get close. Like I've never, you know, you know, when I've had many auditions where the studio has come to my

house, made me sign an NDA, right? And this is a huge deal. And then the script, you know, the script has your name across it in, what do you call it? Like a watermark. A watermark, right? I don't even, I'm never even in the mix of those.

I hope to do with a Shang Chi audition. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, what were you going to play a Shang Chi? Yeah, yeah. I think Ronnie No Ronnie Ronnie Chang's role Oh yeah yeah But yeah

It's so Can I just I want to get this off my chest Okay Please I'm glad you brought this up I love Ronnie I mean he's like My son to me

Okay But But you would think That your friends If your friends did a show That they would cast you As the big The lead

Right But they cut But I had two very good friends Of mine Cast Ronnie instead What shows were there It was It was history of the world, right?

And I get a call last second, hey, can you just do a couple of lines in this thing? I go, yeah, I'd love to help you. But then I found out it was the Genghis Khan, you know what I mean, hereditary, I mean, Ancestry.com, right? And he played Genghis on the main guy. And I just had a couple of lines and Barron Holtz and, I mean, I've known them for 30 years of these guys, you know what I mean? And they gave me, so, you know, Ronnie even beats me even when- In the nepotism. even in like if my friends are involved. Do you think you're a better actor than Ronnie Chang?

Ooh. No, I'll be honest with me. I mean, if you see me, you know, I, you know. The sounds coming out of high mayor. It's the best. So you think I'm bad? No, no, I say ooh. No, no, I think that, you know, it's funny.

That line of questioning is funny, that you do that because, you know, for many, many years, I didn't think I was a good actor. You know what I mean, until I started watching it. And up until, like, three years ago, I started watching some of my stuff. And I think I'm a good actor. Yes, I think I'm different.

Yeah. I think I think I'm different. I think if you see me in reservation dogs, I'm so good in that show. You know what I mean? I thought it was reservoir dogs. Is it reservation dogs? Yeah. Oh.

Reservation dogs. And I think some of my sex in the city stuff was look, it's fit, you know what I mean? I went out for that role. I know you did. I know you did. So I know that you. Oh my God. He said, fuck you.

I know you did. So you're my Ronnie Chang. Yeah. Yeah, but dumbfounded too. So many people did. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Dunfond had talk about an audition where he, you know, there was like Justin Chan,

there was like Sun King in a room and they all had to do like an accent for a role. Yeah. And then he decided that he was going to do the axe, but nobody else did. Oh, no. Would you do the accent if it was for a role? No, I don't know. This could have been a bad idea, but I was offered a really big movie. It was a vampire movie.

Like a Korean accent? No, no, and they wanted me to have a Korean accent. But then I realized in the script that he was living in L.A. Was it an immigrant guy? Yeah, but in my mind, it was like, why does he have an accident? He doesn't need to have that. He doesn't need to be an immigrant. You know what I mean?

I could just be a regular guy. And so I had a, I facetime the director. And I just go, hey, just to let you know I would love to do this, but I just don't know why he would have an accent. I just want one. And I go, okay, but I go, but. Did he say Korean or did he say like? I want you to have an Asian accent. I go.

Oh, no. I go. Yeah. If I was in Korea or there was some sort of backstory that I was born there, but he's just some guy with a Korean accent? Yeah. Was he like some guy who got eaten or something? No.

Like got his. Oh, you think, you think, it's like a victim? Eating eaten with an Asian accent is scary or something? It feels worse. What are you talking about? It feels worse than all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you guys both be Korean vampires?

I just want to hear it because it would be the flag. Like, uh-oh. I want to drink your brother. This sounds so stupid. I want to drink your brother. It sounds like I want to drink your brother. I just feel like the vampire would just be so rude and disrespectful.

It's like, yeah, you're, you're doing the Christopher Nolan Korean vampire choice. Even now you went too far. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We went early. 80s. But anyway, and then I said no, I just, I'm not doing it. And then years later, I'm like, yeah, I should, what was the show or movie made?

Yeah. And it was that one. I've never even heard this movie. I mean, it wasn't even good. I'm glad you said no. You know what I would have done? If I had time, I would even like, I don't care. If it was interview with the vampire, I would be like, do the ex.

Oh, yeah, the interview with the vampire. I almost got that. Yeah, you're more in the league for . Yeah, yeah. We do have a Korean vampire in our folklore though. Yeah, Kangsh. Oh, I wanna know about it. It's like, teach me.

Kangxi? Yeah, it's like one that pops like a button. Yeah, it's like, b-bl-and-a-and-you have to put a little like mun-sin on their head. That's Santokie. Tiki-Toki, Tiki-Toki. What are you talking about? No, but we do have Kang-Shing hook or like that.

Can we talk about Sant-Toki real quick though? You know the song? Yeah. San toky tokya, what is that mean? Gangchung, Gangchung tiemianso, oh, Did you have a lot of automatapea. Automatapea's? What's so funny?

Was that your ABCs? No, it's like a twinkle twinkle little star. It's like a little kid's song. So Summer bunny, Summer bunny, Summer bunny? Mountain bunny. Mountain bunny. Oh, my bad. I got my bunnies.

I got my bunnies. It's not even the word, but are... So, Mountain Bunny, Mountain Bunny, what is it? Where are you going? Where are you going? As you run? As you run, where are you going?

Yeah, that's the only one I know. That's the only verse I know. That's pretty much the song. It's pretty short. Yeah, it's two bars. But anyway, but my parents used to do it. My mom used to do it with this. Is that your, is that, you recall that?

My mom wasn't that fun. Yeah, I don't think my mom's... She was just look at you straight in the eyes. San toky, toky, she was. She's going to a minor key, Sandoky. How about your mom? My mom never sang me these songs, but I think I heard it in church

when the other kids were singing it. I heard a lot of that. My grandpa had this record player and he would play the old Korean folk that sounds like a horror movie. He would play that shit every fucking night, and I would have nightmares.

Because like Korean old folk music sounds like wailing and crying because it's like very sorrowful. And there's like a random like woodblock, like tap! Yeah, it's just like some weird fucking demonic shit. Korea! Ha-ha-ha-ha-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h-h.

It's exactly what that shit is. I fucking hated that. That's what I listen to as a kid. Wow. Hey, I have an education question. Yeah, not yet. Not yet. Wait your turn.

We're just kind of, you know, talking about this. We're getting into it. Yeah, yeah. We're just doing another thing right now, you know what I mean? Yeah, but you stay there, okay? Eat a donut. Finish this, finish this. No, go ahead, time, man.

Okay, this is an education question since you all Korean. Is this like, because the language barrier for like English and then Korean it astounded to me like, is this how you guys write or is like, is that just like? It's a Romanized, so it's for y'all. It's for people who don't read Korean. Okay. So let me get this straight. Let me get this straight.

You think that we have. C syllables? No, just listen, right? You think you have when we write, we write with English letters? Do you? No. Because it's English. It's letters.

It's European. It's letters. Right? The Spanish doesn't have their own. No, it's in English. But in Asia, we have like, moon, you know what I mean, house, whatever, you know. No, the Philippines, it's still English. Oh.

Maybe. You guys were colonized. Yeah, colonized. That's what it was, I think. Yeah. But we have our own language. That's the language. Like that?

Yeah. Yeah. Just symbols. So if you look at. Those are letters. Those are letters. Those are letters. Asian, like, writing.

Everything, what do you? Egyptian now? Pyrogly. Yeah. Kind of does. Yeah, it does kind of look like it. Yeah. Like, Korea, Japan, it's all a derivative of Chinese.

So, like, when you're Korean, you also have a Hanmun name, which is, like, your Chinese name. And that, there's a derivative that'll turn into your Korean name. So if you look at this, like, back, it's all, like, symbols and characters. And then we became more simplified. So Japan is more simplified. Korea is more simplified than that. Don't you have a different age when you're in? Yeah, when we're born, we're technically one years old

because they count the time when you're in your womb. But I heard they're going to change that soon. Yeah, we're getting a year. Yeah, yeah. That's an interesting thing. It's like, so I guess Koreans viewed the fetus as a human life. Oh, yeah? Yeah, pro.

Yeah, if you think about it, if you want to get it to this. If you think about it, I mean, if it's, you know, in its inception, that's when they counted it. Yeah, I mean, so wow, they were like the early Christians. Have you seen those interviews in Korea where they have like gay pride parades now there? And they're interviewing other people. And Korean people are the most, I don't give a fuck. They're like, like, what do you think about gay pride and this pride?

They go, I don't care. Why are we doing this here? They don't talk to me. Wait, wait, they don't like it. They, I don't think they like outward celebration of anything. Anything. Whether it's gay pride or anything. It doesn't matter.

They're just like, go home. Yeah. Pride in general. Yeah, pride in the shame-based country. Yeah, yeah. It's so interesting. I mean, but I don't see us three like that. Well, we're not Korean.

I know. We are Korean, but I'm just saying, I think that, like, because, you know, I've been to Korea. Also, you know, I know, I know, I know, I mean, quiet sometimes. I mean, when we get violent, we get violent. We love revenge. I get it. You know what? Live for it.

Yeah, yeah. And we feel, we feel. No one's really done me wrong in a long time. That's great. And I feel like that. That's great. Is it great? Yeah, yeah.

Oh. Well, maybe it's you. Maybe you're a lot more open. I need to step it up, maybe. No, I think that maybe you've changed. Maybe you're a good person. Yeah. Yeah, maybe that's.

I mean, do you have any revenge? Still? Do you have any people who are like, oh, this guy. Oh, they're so funny. I have three. I have three, but this from long time ago. You should keep that forever. That I do.

Yeah. I do. I want to see if I have any new ones. Okay. No. There's a fucking. Enemies? Yeah.

And it's also, it's like, you know, I have to admit, you know, my life is much better than it was. Yeah. You know, when you get a little success, I think it kind of dampens it a little bit. Is it because you're scared of what you'll lose if you act out your revenge? No, I mean, things just don't piss me off as much.

You're poor and struggling. Yeah. Every day you add to that list. Oh, 100. And people don't like busier you at your level. Like, you know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, when you get to a certain level,

like people aren't like stepping on your ego like that. Like when you're at my level. Oh, oh, that's interesting. I think you're right. Yeah. And then when it does happen, though, I could see it happening. Yeah, it's flipping.

Because they don't know, you know what I mean? Oh. Has it happened recently? Oh, yeah. Did it? Where? You know, I've been on the road a couple of times doing movies in smaller towns.

Yeah. And you go into a restaurant, like out in the boonies. Like in Montana, for instance. And they just got, you hear your mozzarella sticks. Oh, no. Right?

And it comes and you go, like, it goes in and then goes out. Yeah, yeah. Korean angry disdain face That was really I know I like it Yeah You know

Shibat Yeah Yeah It's one of those faces Right Yeah Yeah Yeah

Yeah You know what you Yeah Yeah Yeah Why would Give me yours Huh

Yeah No no No No I'm look First with luck First with luck I'm

Yeah He got Straight in with verbal Oh my god Abuse Came out Oh my Oh my

Oh my Oh Oh. That's not my mom doc. But his eyes didn't even move. His eyes didn't even move. I know, I know. He looked at the funny.

He's like, he's gay shit. No look either, yeah. There's got to be a look, okay? So you have to also understand that it's a white restaurant and there's white people. So it's like you can't do. Is there a guy or a girl who's that? Your job, but like very white bond. Right.

And just like she looks down on you. Oh, jeze. Yeah, she's never seen your type. She's maybe, you know what I mean? Yeah. And she does not like it. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Okay. Here, mozzarella sticks. That, bro. Wow. He's just burned a hole through my soul, dude. My mom's look. Oh, that's so good. That's crazy.

That's very, that's scary. Dude to Peter now. Hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Wait, so I'm going to be talking to my friends. Yeah. Then come interrupt me.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're going to do it? No, no, I don't know. I don't know, you got to be the winner. Oh, you got to be. But also, but just can I be the director here? Yeah, can I be the director? You guys are gay too.

Yeah, we're in West Hollywood. We're in West Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And so I want a conversation, and I'm going to point to you when to go, right? Right, you know how something they go, you know, so, and then, but I want the conversation going on for a little bit, right?

So, okay, and action. Oh, my God, you guys. Where did you go? last night. Oh my god, we went to WeHo? Uh-huh. I didn't, I couldn't find you. I was fully on Moly-Cut, cut cut.

Cut. You're in WeHo now, though, you know that. Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah. And action. Oh my God, did you see that guy with that ass hanging out? I know. Yes, sis.

My what? Peter. Your shirt is slaying. Is she slaying? Is it? Yes, honey. What size is in? Let me have it.

It's size, extra small, bitch. You know I'm thin. Yes. Yes, it's not going to fit you, hon. You know how I'm censored by my way? I'm sorry, but I'm only hard on you because I love you. I know you do. I love you guys.

Yeah, you're my sister's. Yay, I love you. Here's your cheesy chopsticks. Whoa. The chopsticks threw me for a little. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cheesy chopsticks. Wow.

Oh, you turn mozzarella sticks with the cheesy chopsticks. Oh, you doubled down on that fucking shit. Oh, shit, no. Oh, yeah. Whoa, that was layers, dude. Wow. Very good scene, too. Great scene.

Very good scene. Very good. Very good. Very good. Very gay. Yeah. Wow. So, let me think if I have any new...

Enemies? If I have any new enemies in my life. You know, I do. I have a couple... What's one on there? Oh, the phone turned on. I don't like it when the lights are... And you're speaking, I think, is rude.

You know, that's the most polite thing you've ever done. What? That really was polite. I want to be. I'll be honest with my eyes burning. It was like a lot. Yeah, I thought it.

And you flipped it and that's kind. It's disrespectful. Totally disrespectful. 100%. Yeah, maybe turn it off. Okay, well, give me the Korean look then I will.

Oh, okay. What was that even saying? The resentments. Oh, yeah, I have a I have a couple of yodjas. Really? Yeah. Enemy yodjas.

Enemy yodjas. Oh, what'd they do to you? Um, so, you know, I know there's a couple of yajas, right, that there's a couple of yosas that hook up with guys' comics that are way underneath me.

Almost borderline open mic. No. Yeah. After you or no? Before. Oh, okay, that's fine. But then they won't hook up with me. Break it down.

No, the fact that you feel inferior to comics that are less known than you? They're not even funny. So that's... They're not even funny. They're never going to make it, right? And then it's like, I'll ask, you know, a girl that I know they hooked up with a couple years ago. And they're like, yeah, you're just not...

And I'm like, what? But I'm famous and funny and I'm talented. And also, I think cute, you know. You're cute. Are they hot? Are they like, good looking? Yeah. No, the girls or the other comics, are they hot?

I mean, they're like... Are they like... Are they like... Are they like... Open micers? Yeah, they're like maybe... Maybe Matt Rivey, who was in an accent or something. Oh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a bicycle accident. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. But still has, you know, like, more like Matt Wright-Pocosso style. Okay. The nose is here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like a bicycle accident,

but still there's semblances of Matt Wright. Yeah, yeah, the teeth are right. Yeah, but they got, you know, abs, and they're, you know what I mean? They're white dudes, jockey. Man. Right, and it's like, it's like, you've been, whoa.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you can't compete with that, no way. I love him. You can't compete with that sexually. There's no way. You got to be in your lane. Like I can't compete with Joe Kimbooster. Okay.

You know what I mean? Like I think Joaquin booster is more famous than me. Okay, okay. And hotter. No, but you're hot too. I know, but not Joe Kim booster hot. Should I show her Joe Kemp booster? What is, can you show, Joe Kemposter looks like this, but Asian.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't know Joe Kemp booster? He's Asian. Look. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, he's just younger, I think. No, he's older than me.

What the fuck? What the fuck? Yeah, yeah. I think so. He's fucked up so bad. He's the same age. He's way old. He'll kick her out, man.

Oh my God. My stress bag. Yeah. My stress bags. How old are you? I'm 42. No way. Yeah.

How old is he? I think 42. I think. That's a better look. He looks like a tiny. Okay. You look like the nuclear shadow of him. That's like on the sidewalk.

The imprint. on the sidewalk. Oh, yeah. Fucking stupid. Just mouth open like. Look at that. Look at that. Look at that.

That's really. That's everything. That's everything. Yeah. If he's an open micer. But that's not, but here's the thing. Comedy?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He's a comic. Very funny. But not, but not as I just, I find you, you're so good. But that's not the right. That's not the right analogy.

Nice. Bobby. Bobby. Ew, Bobby. Bobby. You're so mean. Why are you getting up? You're so mean.

Bobby. Bobby. Oh my God. You want to know what's so funny? I literally thought that was a cartoon drawing of a joke. Stop it. I'm not even fucking, hey, look. You want to know what's so funny?

If you just look up, if you look up any photo of Bobby 10 years ago, it's just the same photo. I know, I know, I know. Okay. Okay, okay. We don't, we don't peddle in our looks, let's say. Yeah. No, but that's different because it's like, it's like, whoa. Look at.

Yeah, yeah. Like, you're just so adorable. You look hot. Yeah, yeah, cute there. Is that Joe Rogan? Oh, that is Logan. Wait, is this when the whole thing went down? That's not Joe Rogan.

That's Joe Rogan. That is? The Mencia thing? Yeah. That's Joe? It's a Getty image? Wow. Wait, wait, zoom in.

That's Joe Rogan. That's not Joe Rogan. That's not Joe. It is Joe. Look at the hair. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa. You look hotter than Joe Rogan here.

Okay, anyway. Yeah. And then what's that? Oh, no. Oh, no. Well, that's Danny Cho. That's Danny Cho. That's just me.

That's me from dealing with that. Do you believe that they let me do? That right there was on national. Fox. Yeah, yeah. That sketch right there. That's history. Right?

I have bug teeth. You know what I mean? This is the most racist. this is the most racist Have you seen these sketches? Didn't you write that though? I wrote it, yeah That's what I mean

You don't have a problem looking bad I don't know I'm disgusted who wrote it Me? Yeah yeah Because at the time I was just like I don't give a fuck

You know what? Let's just try it Also like what are you gonna do Say like oh no If they're like Oh yeah pitch things That are gonna be Asian Yeah but I went

I went to the extreme The extreme I'm gonna see how much I can push this thing They should get you guys You did push You did oh I would love to do I would love to go to Korea in general. You've never been?

Never been. What the fuck? You would love it. Everyone escaped and I was like, I don't have anyone to visit. Oh yeah, me either. I have no family there anymore. I would go as a... You have no family?

I don't think so. I have family in the North. Oh, well... I'm so sorry for laughing at that phone. But anyway... That was out of pocket. But can we just finish off this piece? Because I think it's really interesting that like you've...

You've been at this for so long and you've gone through your... And you've gone through your ups and downs in fame or whatever, clout, whatever you want to call it, influence. But do you think that has ever helped? Yeah. It's just a couple of rejections of women that went, oh, no, is what I'm talking about. There's just some women that aren't going to find me attractive. That's fine.

That's fine. Yeah, that's fine. But it's like, no, I don't think that I'm unattractive or I understand completely why women like me. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? So it's like, no, I, um, but they're just, some that I'm like, oh, okay, you know what I mean? I have the same experience in the gay world.

What are you going to say? Yeah, go ahead, David. Because there's something brewing and I don't like it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, brew it out, dude. Pour it. Pour the coffee, dude. No, just like. Yeah, yeah, what are you doing? I'm just like, in my mind, I'm wondering, like, who these comics are that went before

you and what they look like. That's the thing I can't get, I'm getting hung up on. Because if it's, if you're saying, like, it's you, and then there's two other comics before you that look just like you, then that'd be a little upset. Yeah. Right? But if it's like two guys that are substantially better looking than you, way better.

Then, oh, then, okay, of course they're going to fucking go for the better looking dude. Because maybe their reason for getting what somebody isn't the fame part. They just line to be with a hot guy that's funny. Yeah, but they're not funny. Or a hot guy. Well, to them, maybe. They're not.

All right. Because the proof is not putting. I mean, we have, what's interesting about that. Like nobody laughed. If they're comics, you know, we have an arena. You know what I mean? And we can prove it in their arena. Yeah.

It's open to anybody. Anyone can go up there. And some people just spit good games. Just sit in the back, sit in the back and watch them fight. Let's go back to if I have any new resentments. Okay. You have any time travel back. That's time travel back, okay, to this.

Do I have any, any, is there anybody I have resentment toward? Okay, I have one. But I don't know if it's a thing. And I don't think it is. But at the time, I was a little like, what the fuck? Right? So I saw Seth Green at the comedy store.

And we had a love fest. I didn't see him in 20 years. You know Seth Green? Yes. Right. And then I went to Comic-Con, and I ran into him. And he was talking to somebody,

and I saw him, and he was very kind of standoffish a little bit. He's like, hey, man. And then, you know what I mean? And I walked by. And also, I was wandering. I was at the, entertainment, no, I was at the variety

party or something, you know, the magazine, you know, right? So it's like all the Wolverine, the movies there, all of the, you know what I mean, the good movies, you know, are coming out, right? And I'm kind of, I don't know why, I'm invited, I'm invited, of course, you know? And I didn't see anybody, so I go, they're sad, I could at least pretend, you know what I mean? And I went, you know, and he went, you know,

but I think he was high, because then I ran into him a couple of weeks after that, it was so weird, I ran into him, so, and he was super cool. So I don't know, maybe it was in my mind. That's 100% in your mind. I think so, too. That's it? That's the only people you have hate?

You're not a real Korean. You gotta have a... Come on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me think. Let me think. Do I have anyone right now that's on my fucking shit list?

You know what that means? Yeah. It means you've grown. Yeah, I don't think I have. Yeah, I don't have any. Do you have any? Oh, God, so many. Yeah, give me one.

Give me one. I've talked about this multiple times. There's a guy that stole money from my first business that I opened. It was a soft serve joint. last time I saw him I told him that if I if you ever see me in public you have to walk the other way because you know I'll fucking kill you like literally how much money how much money Uh in total so basically what he was doing he took our company credit card and he was funding his side business with the funds that we were making with our store And he's kind of a fucking idiot because we have access to the fucking credit card yeah and he did it once and already I didn't like that and you know we did it two or three more times he goes oh I keep making this mistake. It's like it's not a fucking mistake

You're funding your shit with our stuff and he just kept spending the money and eventually we just didn't have any money at all And just you know, it just went to him and so long story short with that he basically had to leave our business And so last time I saw him I was just like if you see me in public you got to walk the other way because we were friends We were buddy buddies Wow that's even worse exactly can't forgive him Absolutely not really if he came and he did like couldn't directly if he bowed down I had to the floor like yeah yeah I mean put a match down, candles. Knee pad,

knee pads. Yeah, yeah, he's a little older now. Yeah, he's a little. Well, race. He's a long time. This is a very long time. Yeah. Well, if somebody's bowing,

well, if he's bowing down with his face, that's perfect, I could stomp it faster. Then I could just light him on fire with the camera. No, but seriously, even that big of a gesture, you don't think you can. It doesn't fucking matter.

Wow, it's that deep. What if he paid you back? The last time I saw him, what have he paid you back? I don't give a fuck. With interest. It doesn't matter. It's not about the money.

Oh, you're too Korean, I'm off. Principle. That's two Korean. Principal. I don't give a fuck. You could give me money. It doesn't. Well, how much money?

Well, how much does you owe you? I would say in total. All of us, probably about 80 grand. 160, double. Nah, it has to be in the millions. Wow. Wow. How would you kill him?

Oh, sorry. I mean, I'm, yeah. He's not a murderer. No. I don't know. I mean, he's thought about it. I'd probably just punch his fucking face in until he can't breathe. Yeah, I think you should let it go.

That's too much anger. it's in your body, it's going to turn into something else. I mean, I would, but nah. Okay. I fucking hate it. How else does you get up? Do you have one? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, give me one.

There was this guy in Chicago. Because I thought of a new one, but I wanted to do it. Mine's really simple. He was this young improv guy, very tall, but he was good at improv. Like, really, he was like the... Oh, one of those. White guy? White guy, tall, good-looking.

The tall whites are so good at Brent. He's 19, so he's like a phenop. And I get there, I'm like, you know, fat and 30. you know, and I'm like, I'm going to try improv and he's like, yeah, okay, like this. Like, like, he touched your hand. Hey, buddy. He touched your hand.

I love it. He's like, hey, buddy, you'll get there. One day you'll get there. Damn, who is? Oh, I'll tell you after the past. Dude, I can't even believe he still has a hand. Oh, let me tell you. He was so tall, I couldn't even reach it.

I would have been like, like, today's your lucky day! Like Kevin Hart, like, ah! Yeah, yeah, yeah, wow. So he was really tall and good looking. Wow. And now, yeah. The worst part is he's doing so well.

Is he on SNL? He doesn't even need to be on SNL. That's how big, bigger than that. Big. I'm not saying. We'll bleep it. We'll bleep it. We'll believe it.

No, no, you're not going to bleep it. We'll bleep it. You'll bleep it. You're going to forget. You're going to believe it. Cover your mouth. Oh, interesting. I don't think I could ever let that go.

Yo, I couldn't let that go. This is the only reason I'm still in Hollywood. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I want to, this is the only reason. our show is going to sell because I want him to come like begging. Yeah, yeah. You know what I mean? Can I get a guest start? You know, like just because his, he did some, in my mind, did some bad drugs or something.

He's on a... You do revenge fantasies. Oh my God. We're good at, Koreans are good at revenge fantasies. No, no. Yeah. You know what's... We lay in bed and think about what we're going to do. I do think that we are motivated by proving people wrong that don't exist. That's what exactly. Our ancestors. Because I do that a lot. That's exactly what it was. Because my manager was like, why do you keep saying to yourself?

It's like, oh, these motherfuckers think I can't do it. He's like, who are these people? Who? I'm like, I don't know. I don't know.

Yeah. We do that all. It's unhealthy. Yeah, but in our blood, though. I love revenge. I'm if you do this, I want to do this.

Oh, are you ever in the shower? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You ever in the shower? Yeah. I've done that. I've done that. Just have dialogue?

Yeah, yeah. No, I'll, in my mind, be walking through the grove. Yeah. thinking of a scenario and then I'll actually outwardly say it say it like fucking ass and people go and people walk back what the you know what I mean why did you make me do that yeah yeah yeah I'll like say it out loud in a scenario in my head we're crazy we're crazy there's some of that on TMZ somewhere yeah yeah don't touch me yeah yeah yeah so true the other

day I was in the car and I started thinking about I you know I miss my mom and my mom and I was like if something happened to her and you know like and I'm thinking about she's alone and like People are taking advantage of old people these days. And I'm like, oh, someone took advantage of her and she got sick and she couldn't pay the bills. And I started crying in the car. And I started shaking. And I was, apropos to nothing. Yeah, yeah.

Nothing was happening. I'm just like getting myself riled up just so that I can feel something. Are you super close to your mom? A little too close. Like Mama's boy. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, where I have like revenge fantasies of her getting murdered. What?

Oh. Because I want to feel righteous. Yeah, you really need help. I do. It's like gay boy stuff. It really is. It's like, Umma, you know.

Mom's super supportive. Are you coming out? Not at first. You know where I took her? B.C.D? Zhang Dong. You know BCD? You must really hate her.

No. Why? Well, I took her there because I knew she was going to cry. So I was like, oh, don't bea. Oh, I'm not so I took her to BCD.

And she started. convulsing. Oh. Yeah, it was bad. And then, like, three... A couple weeks later, she came around. But, like, the first was very bad. Was it...

Did you grow up in a Christian household? Eventually. Oh, that's why. Yeah, yeah. Like, I was out there with signs, like... Oh, for real? Yeah, but you were just like... Protesting yourself?

But I'm like... I'm like... I'm going to hell. I'm going to hell. I'm going to hell. I'm going to hell. Anyone else want to go to hell with me? Back in his alley right quick. You must have confused so many people out there.

Oh, I did. You're going to hell. It's like, no, but I was like, I was really good at being in the closet, though. Oh, for real? Yeah, just masking it out. Like being. Wait, wait, wait. Hey, let me hear your mask.

Yeah, did you talk like this when you were in the closet? What do you mean? Like this? Like this? No, I guess like, in high school I tried to lower my register. All right. Let's do another scene. Serious scenario.

Hetero. Hetero. You guys are straight now. You guys are straight. Yeah, yeah. And then let's say we're gay and we're hanging out. And then it's straight people are coming and then watch me cold switch. Oh, that's good.

So you and David are gay. Hey, gals. Anyway, anyway, that dress. Wait, why aren't you talking to? Sorry, you know how a great time I get? The dress with Felipe was wearing last night. Oh, my. Out of this world.

Like, where... Um, excuse me? Like, can we play the scene? Bobby's, I want to be gay longer. I want to be gay longer. And action. Felipe, Felipe. And then Antonio shows up, right?

He used to have that ball on chain on his face. It's not even Halloween. What the fuck is going on here? Right? Why is he wearing a ball chain? He's so much, he just wanted validation. That's what it. He's always looking for him.

I know. Like, he's just apparent. What about you, Raoul? I'm gay. I know, I know Raoul. You're gay, but what's going on right now? I just didn't know if you guys knew I was out yet. I'm fucking gay.

I just feel gay too. I just feel gay, because you're fucking flaming. Yeah, I'm still flaming gay. But you could do something about this outfit because everybody thinks you're straight by the way you dress. Oh my God. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yo, yo, my dog.

You slime dog. What's up, Doug? Man, what's up? Hey, yo, what are you? Be pounding an ass or what? Yeah, totally. That pussy is my dude. This is my friend right here.

Yeah, hi, what's up? Hey, what's up? You know how you know somebody's gay? That pussy's wet, bro. That's the body as gay as you can fucking get, dude. Dude. I love the way pussy feels. You became more gay.

Yo, I love it. Yeah. No, yeah. It's not good. It wasn't a great job. But like, you know, but in high school, we all were, we all were virgin. in high school. I don't know if you grew up, like, that were Koreans. Like, we were all, like, going to church.

They were all slime dog. They all. Oh, so you were with, like, the- Sacramento, man. Oh, when did you lose it? I lost my Virginia when I was 18. I was late. Okay. Yeah. 17 for me.

17? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, 19 for me. To a girl. To a girl. A majority of my friends lost their Virginia when they were, like, 14, 13. Oh, wow. That's so young.

Yeah, I mean, at the time, I thought they were making- that was the last one to lose my virginity. Right. Right. They were calling me gay all the time. Wow. Yeah. My friend's dad thought I was gay because I didn't lose my virginity yet.

Yeah, he's like, you want me to fuck you? No. He was fucking Filipino. And he would just like, David, you don't like puss-puss? You don't like puss? You don't like pussy? You don't like pussy? No.

Yeah, so he would always roast me. You know, a Korean that would never say that. Oh, 100% but yeah. Filipino people would be fucking dude. He was like. But when you were 19- How did you get hard? What do you mean?

Oh, what a weird? I was hard all the time. Did you like? having sex with the group? Wait, wait, I'm sorry. Oh, wait, hold that. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, may I ask you? How was that offensive?

What do you mean? Why can I get hard? But you're gay. Are you bisexual? I'm sorry, I'm so... What you mean? You lost your virginity to a woman at 19, right? Just, it doesn't mean...

It doesn't mean... Am I? You can't get hard. This was on 19, not on... With a woman. That was the conclusion. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Oh, at 19.

how did I get hard? With a woman. With a woman. With a woman. Wait, wait, what do you think I meant? No, what you said was, how did you get hard when you were 19? Yeah, you did. You know, you can...

I just explained that and that wasn't... Okay, I got it now, I got it now. We're all on the same thing. But it doesn't mean that... Just because you're gay doesn't mean that like... Especially because I was trying not to be gay. So I was like, let me try this and see if this is something that I can pretend to do.

for a long time. And I did it once when I was 19. It was horrifying. And yeah. I did come. Do you know that you don't know the story? No. Can't tell the story?

Please. I was dating this girl who was a pastor's kid. Of course. Yeah. The biggest sluts ever. Yes, right? Yeah. Okay.

So she had a, she went to a different high school than mine, but in high school she had a nickname the Diverginator. Oh my gosh. Because she divergenated all these Korean kids. That's her things. Like Korean Christian kids. She was Korean too.

And that was like a point of cry. I never ran into the Djujidjana. Bobby's like, where are you? Not one time. I've been out in the forest looking for the Djibon. That's so funny. I've heard of this story about a divergent. You've heard of the Diverginator.

Have you heard Kail of the Diverginator? She just comes out under divergenator. Finally. Anyway. Lucky you. So anyway. So I knew that and like being the closeted kid, I just wanted to be her best friend. You know what I mean? Like, oh, this is the Diverginator. She's the

sluggiest one and she's so fun and we could talk about boys. So like, we were just hanging out all the time. And then she started being interested in my dorm mate. And then that, who I was in love with. And I was like, oh, wait, don't date him. And she was like, why? And I literally, I did not know what else to say. I was like, because I'm into you. And she was like, I'm into you too. And I was like, no, no. And then, wow. Yeah, so, like, we started dating. Wow.

But she was, she told me she was trying to make me jealous with my dormmate. So I was like, oh, my God, this backfired on me, right? So the whole time I'm thinking, like, she's going to want to divergenate me, obviously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm getting scared and scared. And then I go, okay, okay, how do I do this? And then she goes, well, I have a rule where, you know, I might be slutty, but I own my sluddiness. So I wait three months when I date a guy.

before we have sex. So I was like, okay, I'll date her for like, two and a half months. Yeah, and then I'll be like, I can't do this and then go so that I gave it a try and she stuck to her integrity. And at this point in your life, you knew you were gay. I knew I was hiding something

because I was watching gay porn, you know, in the dark. So, and then like clearing my cash every day. That's definitely something. So ominous at the dark watching gay porn. Oh, my God. So, you know, fast forward to two weeks later, we come back from spring break and she's on my bed in the dorm and I'm like,

what's going on? And she's like, let's get cozy. And I'm like, it's been two weeks. And she's like, yeah, but whatever, you know. What's her name? I don't want, no, no, no. Esther Kim, whatever.

It's like, Grace Park. But anyway, she started getting closer and I was like, okay, I have to throw her off. So I'm going to put on the thing that I think is the least sexy of thing. So I put on the Little Mermaid. My favorite song. Yeah.

And she's like, let's turn off the lights. And I'm like, why? Why? It's so funny. No. Whoa, whoa. No. And then a tan tan tin

Dinah That one. That sounds so funny. She's like, Kiss the girl. I love it. So we're watching And then before it even gets it

Halfway Boyd, yeah, that song comes out like. And at that point, she's like starting to like go down. Oh my God. Oh, geez. You know, that's the first time.

Imagine the first time a hand has ever touched your cochu, right? Like, bing, right away. Yeah. No matter what. No matter what, yeah, yeah. You're like, oh, and she's like, okay. And I'm like... It could be a wolverine or a honey badger.

Yeah, yeah. It could be that weird. Stop going up! Ah! Ah! Yeah, yeah. And so I'm like, oh my God. And then she goes, let me take care of this.

And she starts going down on me. Whoa. And I was like, oh, my God, no. And then... You weren't saying that out loud in your head. In my head, I'm going, oh, my God. Because I don't know what to do. It feels good, but I don't want it, you know?

Like, ah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I go, what about your three-month rule? And she goes, fuck the rules. Oh. And then she takes off her panties. Hot, dude. Hot, hot. Hot.

Hot. Hot. I love her. Hot. And she's on the bed, and I go, okay. And she takes on my pants. And we try to do it, but I can't, like, get it in. I don't know where it is.

Oh, that's everybody. You know what I mean? I'm like, is it here? Is he here? That's not everybody. Oh. Oh, yeah. I mean.

I know that. I always knew. Just kidding. So I was like, oh, this. And then she was like, forget. She got frustrated. So she spins me over. Damn, this bitch crazy.

Hot girl move, right? And I'm on my back like this. Yeah. He gets on top of me. Yeah. And starts riding me. And I go. No condom?

No condom. What? And then she goes, because, oh, I forgot to tell you this. She was born without a uterus. What? So you could just nut in her. That was her thing. That's why she was the divert.

Dude, she's a unicorn. She was a uterous corn. She was a uterous corn. You know. I want her now. Yeah, what if you're name? So she was very, like, exciting, but also like, oh. And then she gets on top of me.

And before I could even think I go, oh, there comes. She's like, you can come inside me. And I go, oh, and I caught everywhere. Oh, my, everywhere inside or outside? Inside. Okay, okay. Dude. That could have scared me, dude.

And I was like this, like the whole time, I'm empty, I'm shriveled like a raisin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she jumps off of me, stamps my chest with her puss-puss. And I'm like, what? She marked you. She leans down to my ears,

and she goes, that's my finishing move. And I'm the divergenator. She says that line. She says that line. A pastor's kid. Yeah. And I was like, ah.

Is she like in prison now? Because this bitch is a Batman villain. No, really. The Asian Harley Quinn or something. She goes, that's my sign. She puts a pussy stamp on your chest? What a fucking theater. What an animal.

Wow. Wow. I love it. If it was a guy, I'd be like, fuck, let's go. Oh, really. And I'd be ended it with that and not started with that shit. I'd have been like, hey, get the fuck out of your head. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

How are you talking about? And get me a Kleenex. That's the crazy. Is that the one and only time it had? No. So that was so traumatized from that. Like, I didn't have sex for seven years. 125

Wow Another girl At 25? Yeah the last girl Okay so tell me about that one She was great Like we almost This is the time where I was like

It's so great that like I have to come out You know what I mean Where it's like There's nothing wrong Everything's great We get along She thinks I'm funny

I think she's hot I think she's smart Like everything's great We could build a family What's wrong Oh yeah duh I'm gay What the fuck are you doing

So like You know You know being from the church like I just kept thinking I could figure it out you know like pray the gay away basically but it just took a while

for me to be like yeah I guess everything's perfect and I'm still sad so something's got to change damn you really committed to trying not to be gay for so long that must have been rough dude it was rough and then it got like it got easy because I just like would go out and be wing man for my

friends oh okay and they would love it because I was like the clown that would drink and get drunk and be like Yay girls meet my friend And I would dance and be the idiot So like no one even thought To like think of me as the gay guy They were like oh he's the fun

Like drunk guy why what's that face I just wouldn't If we were going out you're not out going out with us Like that That's not gonna work for us Why? It's too much What?

Can I see how would you flirt Stop doing this Yeah how do you flirt What are you talking about? Like high school bottom? No, because I don't know. I've been in a relationship for 10 years, so I don't have to flirt him. I don't know what the fuck that is.

Yeah, yeah. So, because you're single. So how would you flirt? Well, I mean, I'm trying to think of something comedic to say. You know what I mean when you asked me that? So you only be real. Yeah. What is it for real?

Well, I have certain telltale signs. Moves. Moves. So if we're sitting there right there and I go, you know what I mean? Like this? Oh. They're very soft hands. Yeah.

If they do this, that's not. Yeah. Typically, yes. You know what I mean? Well, your first move is just to go for the hand grab. No, we're in a conversation, right? Let's see, I'm going to say a joke. Okay. I'm going to just do the last line of a joke.

Okay, I'll laugh. Yeah, and the turquoise went, Zama, Zama, Zoom. I'm like, God, you're so funny. Wow. Oh, so you didn't laugh, though. We have to laugh now. I haven't yet.

The turquoise went, Zama, zama, zoom, Zim. Why did you hit me? Yeah, right. You're out. She's just like, My head's gross. And then I also, if they, like, if they don't touch me at all, like, even a arm or anything

that, and they're kind of distant physically, to me, that's a red flag, too. Oh, you make sure that you read body language. Yeah, body language. It's also what they're saying, you know what I mean? I'm very in tune about it, you know? And then sometimes if they're super hot, I'm like, let's, you know what I mean? Do other tests. You know what I mean?

Other tests. Yeah, because, like, they don't give me, like, the initial thing. So in my mind, I try to convince myself, they might still like you, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Let's do it another night. Let's give it another night, right? And then at the second night, you're like, I don't think this is going on.

That's so much thinking. It's a lot. God, damn. That's so, me too. That's why I love being gay because it's so not complicated. It's so straight up. It's either like we're fucking or we're not.

Oh, because it's still a guy. Yeah. And most of the time, it's just like, help me get this out. Oh, it's like a French It's a friendship, it's a friendship almost It's like, can you give me a hand? Please?

What? That's so great. No emotion, no emotion. Yeah, it's very different than lesbian or like girl queer because it's a lot of like feeling safe And feeling like, you know, we could Because bitches be bitches. Like I mentioned if I was like

Guys are still guys. Yeah. If I was with Whitney Cummings, I go, hey dude, I gotta help me out. I'm like clogged out. That would sound crazy to say that. Yeah, she'd be like excuse me. You think she would do it? No.

Let me stick it in a couple. I'll do it the four pumps. Yeah, can you just be a bro? There's no way that would happen. That is how it happens pretty much. That's insane. Try it again with Peter. What do you mean?

Like do the thing you would say to when you come is. Look how easy this is. Oh, yeah. Yeah, Peter. Yeah, so I'm just a little stiff. Like, I'm like, I'm clogged down. Oh, okay. Clogged down.

My guy, my guy. Wow. Wow. Yeah. What great insight. Yeah. It's community building. You got to help each other out.

Yeah, see, they don't do that in our world. You have to, we have to, like, giggle our way in the pussy. Like, it's a lot of work. It's a lot of work. It's so much work for a lot of fucking work. Let's say you're with somebody, like, I was with, like, you know, a 300-pound female comic. Right? And she was like, hey, I just need to, I need to, like, get some stress out.

Can you just fuck me all quick? Yeah. I don't think we would do it. How tall is she, though? What is she's, like, six, seven? Four-three. Four-three, 300 pounds? Yeah, yeah.

What's different? You would be in a hospital at the end of it. crush you. You're saying you can't just like get it off for any woman. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah. For any woman.

You know, it's funny. It's very looks involved. It's funny. My therapist said I was telling her like, I don't want to talk about this anymore because it's anyway. This episode is going to be 15 minutes. Oh,

no, it's not. Hey, Dave. All right. Go ahead. What's your question? I didn't lose, believe it or not,

I didn't lose my Virginia until I was 23. Oh, really? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. See, that's what I'm saying. When you said 18 is late.

Well, for my friends, I don't think it's late at all. You know what I mean? But to them, they made me feel like it was like, because they were fucking since junior high. Yeah. So, like, when you're kind of, if you're the odd person now, they always make you feel weird, right? So, like, when I lost my Virginia, they're like,

oh, you're fucking one of us now. But it's like, oh, I thought I was like four years late. And I remember saying this, like, on a video years ago. And then they're like, nah, that's not late. I was okay, I'm not the crazy one then. They were just fucking horn dogs. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, okay.

And it's also like generational, like you guys are younger. I feel like young people aren't really fucking like that, right? Or is that? Jules. I lost my like 14. Oh, nice. One of us. It's cool, girl.

I mean, I wanted it to have sex, but it just never happened. It didn't happen. Yeah. But when it happened, were you like... Were you doing comedy when it happened? No. Oh, you do comedy? Yeah.

Oh, that's great. That'll help. That'll help. Just looking at him. Yeah, that's going to help. Yeah, it'll help more than any other profession. At the time. Okay, where do you work now?

I do stand on comedy. He opens up for Ralph. Ralph Boboza's guy. Oh, shit. That's amazing. Good for you. But he also does. Oh, I do this too.

A lot. Oh, yeah, yeah. Cool. Anyway. Oh, sorry. Anywho. Happy Thanksgiving. Happy Thanksgiving, everybody.

And I want to give up here, David, a round of applause for doing the podcast. Thank you. That was a lot of fun. It's always fun with you, too. It's so easy. Isn't it so easy with them? So easy. Koreans, man.

Yeah, you guys are, it's so easy to do it. I just have no. But anyway, anything to plug? MMA podcast, the casuals, MMA, my podcast, Genius Brain. Other than that, that's about it.

Oh, Secret Society has our fall launch. We just dropped that. Anyway, Peter. Hold on, hold on, hold on. All right. I mean, come on. He came here on a motherfucking Saturday. Yeah, move merch.

Well, S-C-R-T-S-O-C-I-E-T-Y, our fall collection just dropped. Fashion basics for everybody. Fucking fantastic. That's that shit right there. Hell yeah. Amazing shit. Love this brand a lot. Genius Brain every Sunday is at 12 p.m.

And then the casuals, M-M-A podcast in the morning on Thursdays. Gilbert is also a part of that as well. He is our captain there. Sick. Peter? Or David, you also might do some future comedy shows. Oh, yeah. We're getting to get Bobby on there?

Peter. I would love for Bobby and Peter to be on there. We have a genius brain. show we just sold out the first one so we're planning to do another one in February. Oh, that's the best venue. Ice house. Cool. Yeah, hi.

You can find me two Kim's one pod on my pod and. I've done that. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you got. And look out for, oh, no, this is too early. So we'll talk about next time. All right. That's it.

The podcast, Vermont? The Fat Fish podcast, me and Ralph. Robber Bros. Oh, yeah. Well, yeah, Ralph Barbrosa. Jules, nothing? Jules, promote something. Just find something.

Find something to promote. Eb Ocean. There you go. Ebo's. Very nice. Anyway. Bobby, anything to promote? No.

But by the time this comes out, I'm probably in Australia. Come to see me in Australia. Okay. All right. Anyway, thank you. Bye. Thank you.