TigerBelly - Lamorne Morris Walks Off After Bobby Lee’s Fart

Episode Date: July 16, 2025

Actor and comedian Lamorne Morris enters TigerBelly. Bobby opens with a song, then spirals into Raya jealousy, and Khalyla joins with spam musubi. We talk etched abs, red light therapy, Ambien paranoia, losing out on New Girl, first-class fart trauma, sour balls, Coachella scarves and Spider-Man: Noir. Start paying rent through Bilt and take advantage of your Neighborhood Benefits™ by going to www.joinbilt.com/belly. That’s www.joinbilt.com/belly. Make sure to use our URL so they know we sent you: www.joinbilt.com/belly to sign up for Bilt today. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little Bluechew. Discover your options at www.bluechew.com!

Hey guys! I'm so excited because guess what? Me and my friend Matthew Menney, we created a graphic novel. Yes we did. I know we did. I know. It's called Deadweight. Like you. Yeah, yeah. I did lose weight. I did lose weight, okay? And it's a graphic novel and guess what? We're gonna be at Comic Con July 24th on a Thursday.

And we have a little room there. We want you to come and we're going to talk about the graphic novel, how it was, the origin stories of how we got together. I mean we have this crack team. We wrote it with my buddy Steve Orlando, who's this Eisner nominated writer. We have an amazing cover artist, Vincenzo. What does Vincenzo do? Oh my God, Vincenzo is amazing.

And Marco. What else did he do? Star Wars, he did Avengers. Have you ever heard of those? No. Oh my god. And Marco who did the interiors is just a crack head. Amazing. So what are we going to do July 24th? We're going to have a panel with a bunch of other awesome people.

It's at 3pm at Comic Con. And the first 100 fans that come to the show are gonna get this preview book it's called an Ashcan and they'll get the first 40 pages of the graphic novel. Yeah so check it out dude. Guys I'm so proud of this and I'm so excited about this so come check us out at Comic-Con July 24th 3 p.m. on a Thursday I'm a man who's got a lot of money, I'm a man who's got a lot of money I'm a man who's got a lot of money

Take your jacket off, good morning Mr. Morse Was this where you had, was this the exact same room where Aries Spears was, where you had the reunion? Yeah, yeah, this is, yeah, I mean you want're not, you wanna sit in the Aries Spears chair or no, that's the next one over here. This was the dynamic chair. Yeah. Yeah.

I kept saying, shut up, I'm gonna let you finish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hold on. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have you met him before? Aries, briefly, and Pat, he's one of my favorite people. He's so funny.

I don't know him, but he's like a god to me. He has complexities. Yeah, I can see that. I'm like, you know, I genuinely believe he's as funny if not funnier than Kevin Hart. I do believe that. I believe that. And I think you have nice skin.

He does? You do. Oh, me? Oh, thank you. You have very nice skin. Do people ever call you Mr. Morris now? Mr. Like, here's what's funny. Yes, yes, but it's shocking who does it.

It would be like NBA players, but they're so young now. They're like six, seven, and they're like, hey, Mr. Morris. Or they call me Unc. Oh, damn, already? I call you Unc. You play the piano, I didn't know that. What do you think it's playing now?

I don't think. It could be one of those fake, it plays by itself. You sing? Do you sing? Do I sing? One of the greatest singers of all time. Really? That's just what the people say. Yeah.

I don't sing, no. I'm nasally today. No. No? No. What key was that? It's F, no. Give me another one.

Give me any key, say the key. Yeah. G. G? Yeah. Ah. No, any key. Say the key. I got G. G? Oh, maybe. Close. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh uhhhhh. Wow, it's beautiful.

One of the greatest of all time. Black people love to sing. We do. Black people love to sing. Black people love to sing. We do. We do. It is. Black people love to sing. I love my Black people. They're still singing. Yeah, yeah. Every two weeks, every two weeks.

I'm sorry. Love Black churches. They like singing. Lamorne, sorry, but so I told you to take your jacket off. That was rude. It was a little hot out. It was, but I figured there's a small gap of time that I'd be spending outside.

Oh. I'm spending more here in this AC-DAS room. Whoa, so. Sinuses are congested. Oh, you have allergies. I got allergies to cold. Oh, to cold. So you've never been to Canada during the winter?

I've been a lot. I spend more time in Canada than I do in America. Shooting. Shooting, and it's not, it's not, I love Canada, but I hate when I go in the winter. Yeah. It's dog shit. Interesting.

And I'm from Chicago too. Oh, well that's interesting too. The Windy City. It's not that windy though. Maybe call it the Windy City, and I'm like, I'm fine. But when the, you have to admit it, when the wind does hit, it's cold as fuck. It's different, they call it the hawk.

They call it the hawk. The hawk is out. Yeah. Where you gotta put a hoodie on and walk backwards. Mm, mm, interesting. What color hoodie do you wear? Like a red one? In Chicago?

No, I go neutral colors. Oh, you do? Yeah, shoot you. I go Elliot from ET. Oh yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's my thing. I like the little bike, yeah. Little stuffed animal in the basket.

I mean, I want to go home. Have you ever been to the Michael Jordan steakhouse? No, I've never been to the steakhouse. He can shoot jumpers, I don't trust his meat. That's true. Yeah, I've seen it. When I'm watching the last dance, I don't think meat. Yeah, I don't want his meat in my mouth.

I'm not gonna say he's the goat, but I think he's basically the goat. He is the goat, I think. Yeah, I got it too. Let me say something about your meat. Ooh, what is this, Michael Jordan steakhouse? Yeah. Yeah. I ain't gonna lie, that meat looked good.

You know what I was watching 28 years later? Oh, I haven't seen it. You see it? Well, there's an alpha zombie in it.'s what I heard it's penis I heard he got one of these yeah He does and I thought about you when I saw him. I don't know why the connection was there, but I'm not gonna lie to you. I get it You do I get it you get it Because all those years I watch the new girl and stuff like that, I go, look, that guy must have a thiccy.

Nah, it's a very, very, yeah, it's all right. Okay, let's move on. I'm not gonna lie, it's all right. All right. Why did I, okay, so a long time ago, I remember seeing a clip, people kept sending it to me, of you and Neil Brennan. Neil Brennan?

Yeah, you were talking with Neil Brennan. Okay. You were talking about Raya, and you were like, how come we keep seeing the same guy connected to every girl that we match with on Raya. And you said it was me. Yeah. And I was like, that was one of the coolest shout outs

I've ever had in history of my life. But why is that? I just know them. I don't be entering. Are you on Raya? Yes. Okay, well then, yes. But like, and I hear that a lot,

and I'm like, am I linked to all these women? It doesn't seem like it, because I'm dry as hell. Yeah, what sucks about Raya is this, and I have to say, okay, I wanna say this without saying any names. Please. But one time, you know, I dated this girl from Raya,

and I was somewhere and some man behind me whispered, how's Sabrina? And I go, what the fuck? I'm seeing her too. It's all Raya. What the fuck? Yeah, and so when I see the names, like that guy that's whispered, how's Sabrina?

Right? And guys like you, I will not match with them. No that's whispered, wow, Sabrina, right? And guys like you, I will not match with them. No, no, no, you can't, with me it's okay. Why? Because I'm not gonna walk up behind you and say it. You're not gonna do it? Do you whisper? You don't seem to whisper.

I can't whisper. Yeah, whisper something to me. Whisper something to me. Let's say you and I are in bed, we just had some sort of thing, and then you're gonna whisper something in my ear. What would you whisper in my ear? Does this make me gay?

That's a good whisper. You know what I'd say? No. I was like, absolutely not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So have you gone on dates on Raya before? No, no, I have gone on dates. I have hooked up with some women on Raya.

But the numbers in which, like if I scroll through it, it feels like a thousand women. But it's literally just liking, talking back and forth, a couple exchanges, and then it goes nowhere. Exactly. It goes nowhere. I'm always the last, you know what I mean? In the message, I'm always the last person to say something.

Yeah, because they go, all right, I'm done. Yeah. And I feel like my strategy is off. Because I have some friends who will write up, like the first thing they say on Raya, like the first thing is, here's my number, let's go hang out tonight. That's crazy. That works? It works.

No. Yes. It only works if you're good looking. Yeah, that's good. I can't say that. Yeah, well, you can't get on Raya. Why not? What's Raya? I'm still on Tinder. Yeah, well, Raya is... Is that for like the elite? No, it's not for the elite.

How are you doing? Yeah. How would you? No, it's not elite. It's not elite. That's the wrong word. Some of these girls be some bum ass bitches. Yeah, exactly. Humble celebrities. Humble celebrities. Yeah, well it started off as a celebrity thing. Yeah. But then I think it expanded because they realized it's a business and you should get more people on here

and celebrities are like, I'm tired of the same 12 women on here. Right. Like they're being recycled, we're being recycled. Exactly. Let's expand. So now you gotta be industry adjacent. You just have to have an Instagram account. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, let's expand. So now you gotta be industry adjacent. You just have to have an Instagram account.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, for me? For me too. For you too? Yeah, I'm the same you. You me? Me you and you, thank you. Oh, no.

Yeah, well, we can. You me, I you. You me, I you too. Me you too too. But I can't live like that. I know, and I think you do, but I think I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like,

I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, I have to sacrifice something and the sacrifice is maybe some Hollywood stuff,

but I still get them, you know? And it's like, they know what they get, but yeah, I can't live with shackles. That's true, man. You know what I mean? Like, here's three months, bro, just passed. You looked at him directly as a shackle. No, I didn't, I looked at Jaime.

Because Jaime, he's somebody that, you know. Shackles. Shackles right now. Yeah, you have shackle vibe. I mean, on the plantation, I don't think I would work you. Oh, wow. I wouldn't be on the plantation. Where would you be? In the house. Oh, he'd be a housewife. Oh, you'd be making lemonade.

I'd be doing that. Agua Fesca. If you and I are in the house, okay. Would he be in the house? If we were both in the house? Yeah, we're both masters of this house. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And what would he be doing? Honestly, like making the beds, making lemonade.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, just lemonade. Just lemonade. Yeah, yeah, you're just doing the lemonade. He can only know, but I want you to perfect, no, you're not changing the beds. I can change the sheets. He looks, you look strong though. Yeah.

You get like, cause every once in a while, like us being masters, like we got, we need like our calves rubbed and shit. Like I need a strong bull. Yeah. That's gonna really put that muscle because back then the tiny little Asian ladies weren't strong enough.

Yeah. There were no little tiny little Asian ladies in the house. They weren't? Where were they at? No, no, no, no. They were in the laundromats or doing at the opium dens. They weren't, you know. Laundry mats? During slavery days? Laundry mats? Well, they had convenience stores in the South. During slavery days, they had the convenience stores, but not

laundry mats. You had sinners? Yeah, but they had the laundry... Yeah, what? Sinners! Sinners, dude! They were around. You touch, you buy. They were back then. What, didn't they have the stores? Oh, yeah, they had the stores, right? Selling concoctions and tinctures. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But then they had, oh damn, tide, you know, tide would bleach ponds and shit. No, but in like Deadwood, I mean back, is the Deadwood era the same era as the slave era?

What was the Deadwood era? I don't remember watching. Old West, because in the Old West, they did have laundry mats there. Yeah, I would say that too. That was when your people were building railroads too. And the Reds. The Reds were building railroads too?

Ireland, Irish. Irish were building railroads? Irish and the Chinese were building railroads. Slavery 1776 and then Deadwood 1876. Wait wait, it's found, wait, so slavery was legal and widely practiced in parts of the United States from its founding, when did it end though? 1865. 1865. And then Deadwood. And so after the slavery, then they did... Deadwood. I see. Wow. I don't know shit about the Deadwood era. I just thought it was a TV show.

Yeah. Well, you know, the old west where it was just wild and like, you know what I mean, Tambouis. And, you know, when I see things that have the Deadwood era in it, I noticed Asians were doing dynamite stuff for the railroad, railroads, doing railroads, doing opium dens because of, you know, you ever see the movie, once about a time in? Harlem? No, once about a time in America. No, I haven't seen that. De Niro, and there's some opium in there. Oh.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was in the early 1900s, I think. Yeah, yeah. You know what I miss? You mentioned it earlier, tumbleweeds. What happened to tumbleweed? Yeah, dude, I miss. People don't have tumbleweed no more.

I know. How do you grow tumbleweed? I don't even know if that shit was ever real. One grew in my garden, but it's right where I planted dill, so I ate a little bit of it thinking it was dill, because the end of it looks similar to dill, and it was just a full blowing tumbleweed. Oh, wow. That's like, so it was just sitting there, it didn't blow by.

No, it was growing. It was a green tumbleweed. You never see a green tumbleweed. Never see a green tumbleweed. Yeah, yeah. we've never seen a tumbleweed in any form. Yeah Yeah, green horn property what what we're going next to my so is an actual weed that grows. Yeah Wow Why they call it tumbleweed is it because it's tumbling? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, of course So if it's just sit now, what the fuck is it weed weed this weed? You're growing weed. Yeah, you said all that to say you're a drug dealer.

Yeah. I mean, does it have anything to do with the dust storms? We got rid of dust storms. You know about dust storms? I heard about them. God, back in the day. I've seen those movies. Huge dust storms.

And you gotta wear those scarves and shit. And you gotta wear the big goggles. And you carry his book around everywhere you go. Worse than COVID. Worse than COVID. Oh my God. Yeah, that sounds like Book of Eli, or Mad Max.

Yeah, Mad Max. There's always dust storms happening there. Exactly, and they were terrible for the lungs, I heard. Yeah, I went to Coachella and I couldn't breathe for a week. Really? First time I went to Coachella, I didn't have a scarf on. I was like, oh, that's for, I'm not gonna lie to you, and this is not racist.

I just said, I saw people with scarves, and I was like, oh, this is what white people do because they think it looks cool. But I was like, where I'm from, you're wearing a scarf and you're about to rob somebody. I was like, I'm not about to do that. And then I realized once I got back to the house that I couldn't breathe, and I was like,

oh, white people sometimes be on the shit. So I should have just listened. You should have listened. I should have just listened. You should listen to it. I should have listened in the moment. And I know where you go to Coachella. Why? To get recognized. To get recognized?

Oh no, no. Come on. You don't get recognized at Coachella. I do get recognized at Coachella. I also get recognized at Gelson's, but don't be. Oh I see, I see. I still need my orange juice. Oh no, that's true, that's true.

That's true, that's true. There you go. No, I just went to Glastonbury. Oh, hello. Hello. Hi. You have gifts for me? Here you know what it is. E-I-L-T, I-L-T, built. Summer's around the corner and I'm already planning my next getaway. Oh yeah, where? I love, I'll tell you where, man. Where? Guadalupe Bay. T-Bilt. Summer's around the corner and I'm already planning my next getaway.

Oh yeah? Where? I'll tell you where, man. Where? Guadalupe, baby. I love you so much. I hate this. For travel and always looking for ways to earn more. Here's a life hack, guys.

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Head to bluchu.com for details and safety info. And big thanks to BluChchu for sponsoring the podcast. Oh yeah Oh you got that uh tumbleweed that uh that asian stuff that asian stuff that sounds all right how do you guys know each other lamorna well should well, right should we break it to him? I can't we this that's what this was gonna make it awkward It might make it awkward. Oh Talked earlier. Hold on. Hold on Oh, let me see say something right now the man on raya I know. Oh

This is gonna be this is something This this is why? Lamar might know historically into filina chicks, just so you know. Oh, here we go. Oh, you and Chappelle. Well. You and Dave Chappelle. That's our area.

You stick with the whites. All right. You stick with the whites, the Mexicans. The Filipinos is my area, dude. I got to expand. No, no, you can't. Expand. Oh. It's gotta expand. No, no, you can't. Expand, whoa. It's about expansion.

No, no, no, it's not about expansion, dude. No, it's, you're not a colonialist. You don't know what I am. You don't know what I identify as. Oh, so you're a colonialist. I'm a trans-colonialist. Oh, you are. I wanna say this, Lamorne, okay?

No bueno, dude. All right, so I wanna say,, let me ask, so you guys. I know what he said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys both matched on Raya. No. No. Oh, thank God.

What am I mad about? We just met at a club. I'm kidding. No, no, no. Come in. Be honest. I'm open. No, we met on Trash Tuesday.

Here's your must-be. Okay. All right. Only time I ever met this woman in my life. Yeah. Okay, okay, wow. You want one? I wasn't sure if you liked Spam or not, Jaime, but.

He needs to learn. He needs to learn. Can I ask you? I don't need one. Was this once upon a time refrigerated or is this just to be sitting in the fridge? I just made it this morning. Oh, so you made this this morning.

You made Spam on your own. I don't make Spam from scratch, probably. I know, I know, but you made the musabi by your own? Yeah, you just like cheap musabi maker on Amazon. Okay. Yeah. So it's rice, seaweed, and by your own. Yeah, you just like cheap Musabi maker on Amazon. Okay. So it's rice, seaweed and only spam? Yeah, that's it. I'll have it then.

I may. Try it for us. I may. I may, try it for us, thank you. We'll eat it later after this pod. I just said it to... But you went to Glaston, how do you say it? Glastonbury.

Glastonbury, they get offended when you say Glastonbury. Yeah, I know that. But that's kinda what it looked like when you write it out. What is it? Glastonbury. Glastonbury. They get offended when you say Glastonbury. Yeah, I know that. But that's kinda what it looked like when you write it out. What is it? Glastonbury. What is it? It's a big music festival. It's like 10 Coachella's.

Oh, in Europe? Yeah. The biggest one. It's in Scotland? No, it's in, it's right outside of London, like a few hours outside London. Somerset. What bands were playing?

Only the best bands. No, there's a lot of cool bands. I went to see Gracie Abrams. We were with her family, so when we went, we went to watch her. And then afterwards, I went to go see DJO. That's old Coachella pic. But there's that,

some R.F.U. told you. Yeah, that was the second time I went. And I was like, yeah, I gotta cover my face because I can't breathe when I get back home. Where do you stay when you're at Coachella at a hotel? What do you do? This year? This year? I remember was at a hotel, but I usually get a house I've been three times. I've been three times to Coachella first time my girlfriend at the time rented a house Second time we got a hotel third time rented house Wow, would you go Bobby? You know what I'm thinking about going to Coachella I think you went there, but you didn't actually go know what? I'm thinking about going to Coachella.

I think you went there, but you didn't actually go in. Yeah, I drove you there and then drove you back. No, you didn't drive me back. Yeah, but I drove you there. You drove me there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which was a nightmare. That's not true.

I drove myself and you just drove the car back. No lie. You were asleep in the backseat. I know, but why did I go? Because we only had one car as a family. That's not why. Oh, that's right, you had to get the tickets for me. So I get the tickets through CAA.

Then the day comes where they're going to fucking Coachella and then she goes, I think you have to be there physically. Oh, shit. The whole reason why I went through CAA and did all that, so I didn't have to get in the fucking car. Right? I get in the fucking car, I drive all the way over there, I go to the box office, hi, give him my name,

give you the tickets, then I fucking drove back! Oh shit. But you know it was for the Beyonce, Beychella. Oh for Beyonce. So I feel like it was definitely worth it. Yeah, I guess you kinda had to do that. For her, it was not for me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've seen Beyonce in concert

maybe three times in the same year, and I'm not gonna lie to you, I did not, I didn't really wanna go, I wasn't like, oh man, I gotta go see Beyonce, and I'm not gonna lie to you, I did not, I didn't really wanna go. I wasn't like, oh man, I gotta go see Beyonce, but I have a sister and I got friends, there's peer pressure, she was great every time though. She is. I even flew to Houston to go see her show.

Yeah? Houston, Texas. Houston, Texas. That was her hometown show. I couldn't name you a song. I can't necessarily name the album. To the left, to the left, is that her? Yeah. To the left, to the left, is that her? Yeah.

To the left, to the left? Yeah. There we go, Halo? Yeah, there we go. Is Halo her? Sounds like you're naming a lot of her. Yeah. You're a big fan.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because he loves you, you can't say. Well, I'm a part of America. Lemonade? Yeah, she's- Lemonade? Beyoncé is the goat though, I will say that. Great singer.

She's the greatest. Yeah, Whitney's better. Well, I mean- Whitney better? Whitney better, well, vocally, I mean. Whitney better? Whitney better. Well, vocally, I would say Whitney can really fucking go. Old school. She can wail.

But Beyonce, you got Beyonce on stage, dancing and shit, she doing choreography. She sustained that, for that long period of time, excellence, she's LeBron James. Of course, of course. I'm not taking anything away from her talent or her career, you know? We're just talking about vocal talent.

Yeah. I think that Adele is good as well. You okay? No, I don't know. What is it? I don't know what I'm doing right now. I have a racial question for both of you guys. Oh, here we go.

So I'm gonna assume no one in this room watches Love Island. But I'm gonna assume that, just to let you know, the information that's already been said is that him and our masters are our own plantation. That's right, yeah, we started- Well, perfect question for you. Okay, good, good, so just-

Context. Context of where we're at, right. Well, plantation masters, may I present the question? Yes, yes, you know what I mean? There's this really insanely hot girl on Love Island named Sierra. Team Sierra. She's been basically basically up until how many

episodes have been out like just the most sought-after girl. Half black half white? I actually don't know what she is but she could be. She could either pass as like black and Filipino, half black half white. She's one of those like racially ambiguous like beauties. She was unceremoniously kicked out of the villa and the reason being. Is that her? Yeah. Ooh la la.

The reason being she had, someone unearthed an old post of hers basically explaining why she gets eyebrow Botox and basically describing her eye as. Okay, you know what? What are you trying to drive me crazy today? That's what I'm saying. Wait, are you trying to drive me crazy today? That's what I'm saying. Wait, wait, wait.

Are you trying to drive me up the wall today? That's insane. But all of these people are like really being like, she shouldn't have used the word. Who cares? See, I immediately had her back when I heard about that. Just because I grew up in a black neighborhood. Like in the South Side of Chicago,

that's what you would say when you had like eyes that were, they would just say, I don't even think they meant it. Don't say it. I don't even think they meant it in a negative way. Do not say it. What? I know you want to say it, but don't say it. No, I'm just going to say what she said.

Oh, here's a quote. Hey, say quote. Quoting. And I'm quoting here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. E.I. Yeah, yeah, yeah.'m quoting here. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. E.I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

E.I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She said it, but that's what people say all the time. Yeah. And I know for a fact they don't mean it in a racist way. Especially when you're coming from a situation like I came from in Chicago, you're just saying it. A lot of kids, when the kid is saying it nine times

out of 10, they don't know what the fuck they're saying, and if no adult is checking them, they're gonna grow up and say it. She clearly didn't mean anything crazy by it. Why would you, some people are stupid, but she's just saying what she was used to saying. They got it in rap songs, they say that shit in music. Oh, you just got me crazy today. Don't hold your eye as we're describing it.

I'm holding my chinky eye right now. I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, what I want to say to you is I'm so sorry. I am so sorry. She's horrible. That's what I thought. I was like, I think she could be part Asian. Yeah, and if you ever want to hang out. I knew it. You know what I mean?

If you're so into chinky eyes, man, I've got the chinkiest of the chinks. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Yeah, and if you ever want to hang out If you're so into chinky eyes man, I've got the chinkiest of the chinks am I not right though Yeah, go on the internet dude. I'm King chink. You are with my eyes. Sometimes they stay shut They should keep like peel em. Oh, exactly. I never have that problem. I know you don't Wow, what are these two guys can make it in love Island There's no if I if she got kicked off the show for saying that

It's over for me. They don't even cast me Well, let's suppose you both of you do get cast I think they would they would keep you on because they like drama starters. I would start no drama Dude, I'm a drama starter. Well wouldn't start no drama. I'm a drama starter. Come on, man. You and I would start a drama. I would just link with every single girl on there and pretend I've slept with all of them

just to make the guys feel upset. That's kind of what I've been doing. What? You know, like we talked about earlier. Yeah, yeah. I match with every girl on Raya. I sleep with zero of them. Yeah.

And I make guys like, you feel like. Do you start conversation on Raya at all, or are you just doing it for sport? Half and half. I do start conversation a lot. Yeah, because Raya is really kind of annoying in that. That's why I got off of it pretty fast. It's dead ends every time.

I feel like half the girls are escorts, though. You do? Yeah, I just feel like the way I... I mean, you can't be on vacation in every photo. I know. Really? Yeah, there's a girl that I really liked on Raya and I don't know how she makes money. Like we went on like five or six dates

and I'm like how do you make money? And then the next thing you know she's in like the Caspian Sea on a yacht. You know what I mean? With like Russian oligarchs. No this is exactly how I feel about this one girl I know. I've known her for a really long time, and to this day I still don't know what she does,

but she came back from Tijuana, or I don't know where, I'm assuming it's from Tijuana, maybe she got it somewhere else, with etched abs. Like- She had those Drake abs? Yeah, you know how you can get your abs like etched in and stuff? She got the BBL, but that one's like obvious, but-

Don't like it, pass. I don't like BBLs, No. Let's move on from the etched abs. Yeah and I was like... Oh. Yeah. That's crazy. That's crazy. How do you etch them? Is it a tattoo? I don't know. I think they do something with a muscle or they have to, right? They take the fat it looks like and they just shape it into muscles. But do we know for sure? Oh, well then, you can... You can shape my dick into a fucking dick. I want to go to Mexico and shape my dick into a dick. It's shaping dude, it's like it's more of a clit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I need to go where?

Give me the address. How much is it? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, wow, they could shape anything. I don't know why people would do this though, because you etch out your abs, but you forget that you got shoulders and other parts of your body that need to be muscular too. So you're basically telling on yourself. That's like you walking in there with one big ass muscular arm and the rest of your body, not so much. Like look at this, look at this.

Look at this, come on bro. It does work though. And they lubed him up, like he just looked like he just left his ass. Just left the puff party. Like I lost. I just. I just fucked Cass party. Just left the puff party. Like I lost. Just fucked Cassie and then he took these photos. He was like, too much lube dude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you should call him my lube. No, wow. So I'm on Uzmpic and I lost a lot of weight but I still have fatter on my stomach. Can I get that sucked out somewhere? Yeah, light poke. I know some chicks.

Really? How much is it? It depends where you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't go, do it here in the States. Don't leave trying to save money, because this is going to fuck you up. Well, in Turkey, I heard they're doing good work.

On hair, on scalp. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You trying to get your hair done? His beard. Beard. You want to get... What are you, what the fuck you talking about? What the fuck are you talking about? You want to add a beard?

Don't you have one? I have a mustache. What's that? That's Fu Manchu vibe. Just let it grow, look like you just cut it. I want what you have. Dude, you just got to put like the little red light therapy on it.

Oh, I have one. What is that? I have a Saluma red light therapy infrared thing that you can just put on your the little red light therapy on it. Oh, I have one. What is it? I have a Saluma red light therapy infrared thing that you can just put on your face. You wanna try it? What does it do? It'll stimulate the hair growth. It's not, if hair doesn't grow here, it's not gonna grow here.

It does, your body's just against it. Really? Yeah. So what, human let's, what is it, give me the description of what that does. This one doesn't work. It doesn't? Okay, well then. No, get, look at Saluma. Give me a Saluma. C-E-L-L-U-M-A. of what that does. This one doesn't work. It doesn't. Okay, well then. No, look at Saluma.

Give me a Saluma. C-E-L-L-U-M-A. I have that one. Why do you do it? You wanna grow a mustache again? To fix my paralyzed face. Uh-oh. I mean, you know what?

I have grown a mustache. I know, that's what I'm saying. You wanna grow a mustache even more? I miss your mustache. Yeah. You have a paralyzed face? Yeah, yeah. I have Bell's palsy.

Yeah, yeah. My other Filipino girlfriend had Bell's palsy. I know. That was crazy. I was looking for other people in other Filipino girlfriend had Bell's Palsy. I know. That was crazy. I was looking for other people in inspo for my Bell's Palsy and I saw that your ex had it for like a while. She went to, and we both started going, I went with her, what's the word I'm looking for

when you do something with someone. Let me guess. Love. Fellowship. No, when you're like out of, like she started. Solidarity. Solidarity, there we go. I went out of solidarity. No, when you're like on David out of out of uh, like she started she started Solidarity solidarity. Oh, I went out of solidarity. So I started to late delay And she went to this guy named dr Oh in northridge and he was doing acupuncture on her and he fixed her up immediately

See, that's what I thought too. I go to acupuncture like often because everyone's like just do acupuncture and no it's like been I go to acupuncture like often because everyone's like just do acupuncture and no it's like been However, like nine months nine months. Yeah, I think she got yeah, like two months. She was good to go. Yeah Yeah, that's like best-case scenario and I remember what happened to it was wild. We were at a comedy club You know Maranzi advance we were watching more huge Watch around that he was killing it and she's laughing and laughing laughing Now all of a sudden she like gets up to go to the bathroom with her girlfriend and they were in there for the rest Of the show. Finally she comes out and she starts laughing.

Like, haha, was anything wrong with my face? And I'm like, the fuck? It was just one side moving and then she just starts balling. I was like, what the fuck happened? She had no idea what happened. So, went to the doctor and they were like, yeah. Yeah, it's scary, because you think it's a stroke, but. Yeah, it's gone now.

It's not, it's not fully. When I chew, my left eye closes. It's fucked. Is it gonna be there forever? I don't know. I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday and he's gonna tell me basically if it's forever. Why are you smiling?

Why are you smiling? You're saying oh no and smiling at the same time. Because I kinda like it. It's got a Harvey Dent kinda. No, there is something I'm sure comforting about. You know what I mean? Like villainous and I kind of like, it kind of. Now you gotta walk around with a coin and shit.

What I saw you in Hawaii at the museum. Yeah, I look fucked. No, I saw you with, you know, your situation. And I went, you know what? What a beautiful woman. Thank you. Yeah. Did the sparks come up again? No, but there was, you know what? What a beautiful woman. Thank you. Yeah. Did the sparks come up again?

No. No, but there was regret. Let's move on. Um. Let's move on from that. Wow, that got kind of real, you know what I mean? Yeah, but you know, there is good things about being single as well.

Do you feel that or no? No. Are you single, that or no? No. Are you single, Lumber? Yeah, yeah. Nice. I know you are, because the reply I got from you was at like 2.30 a.m. I was like, this is a single man.

No, I was in London. Oh, okay. Time difference, nigga. Yeah. What you thought I was doing? I'm gonna wait till 2.30 to hit her. No, I wasn't trying to be slimy. But not slimy, more like replying to the Tiger Belly pod.

Oh, yeah. Listen, being single is great. Being single, I got a lot more freedom. You know what I mean? I could sleep in if I want to. I also have a child, so I don't have to, there's too many- You're a single dad?

I'm a single dad. I didn't know that at all. I'm a single dad, so I don't have time to entertain- Boy or girl? A girl, we'll name Lily. Lily. Yeah, she's adorable. Where's Lily now?

Lily is on vacation in Austin with her mother. And was that a relationship or was that like a one-off thing and then it happened? Not a relationship, let's just say it wasn't a relationship. Okay. No, it was not a relationship, but you create something so beautiful, you know, you end up, you have kids?

Well, I'll be honest with you, I've done some things that, let me just say this, I've done some things, well, I mean, like throat finish, what do you mean? Yeah, that's a weird thought, what are you talking about? I was watching a show called Obsession last night. Oh my God, she's so cute. She's so cute, yeah, yeah. She's adorable. It's so cute. Thank you.

She's adorable. So adorable. Yeah. Happy Father's Day, dude. Thank you, man. Yeah, that's so long. That's a long- I didn't see him.

Do your exes have kids now? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, a lot of them do. And you're still like, nah. I have to grow up. I know I do. But it's one of those weird things. It's one of those weird things where you always think about what could have happened like what could have like, you know, but like

You know, I can't be mad just like you said you can't be mad when you see this guy because he's very nice Say my ex I can't be I don't know these niggas. I don't know what I don't know who they are You know what's going on in their relationship. I just know they have beautiful children. So I gotta go. Okay, that's that's cool Yeah For me there is some regret not having children you gotta go, oh, okay, that's cool. Yeah. For me, there is some regret not having children, but there's another thing where it's like, I mean, you're laying in bed with your significant other, and they see something ridiculous,

and you have to sit there. You hear me? You hear me? Like something about reincarnation. I mean, it's just like, I just really think that when you pass, you turn into a butterfly and I have to sit there and go, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, you know what I mean?

And then she falls asleep and your eyes are wide open. You're in bed at four in the morning going, but that's not real. Wait, what do you think you're gonna be reincarnated into? If reincarnation is real? Plantation owner. I mean, apparently, I mean, I would probably get reincarnated into. If reincarnation is real? Plantation owner. Well, I mean, apparently, I would probably get reincarnated into another human and probably be the opposite of what I'm experiencing now.

What is the opposite? Like probably like in a war torn country running for my life. You know what I mean? She'd be in soup and. Just constantly like. Ah! Yeah, yeah.

Like in Vietnam, that one girl that's in, you know what I mean? Just completely naked on a trail. Oh my God. You know what I mean? Half my body burnt. Oh no. Well, no, you're just, you asked me a question. I answered it and all of a sudden, oh no.

I thought you were gonna be like an NBA player. Yeah, Ron James. Yeah, that'd be the opposite. Yeah, but I don't think that you can have show business show business that's true I think the other life experiences or tall black tech bro oh could be that yeah what's all man how's the program that's too close. Like that? That's too close. Everybody. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's too close. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, or what about you? What do you think you're going to do in the next life? Next life? I'd probably be a very victimized white woman. A Karen. I'd be the opposite. I'd have a problem with everything. Wow.

You're that Karen in Laguna Beach who tells people they can't walk over the sand on her property. Yeah, that would be me. That would be me, the get off my lawn Karen. I wanna be no skateboarding Karen. No skateboarding, yeah. Give me that board, give me that board! Right, you know what I mean? Or call the police.

Yeah, I want that to be that kid. Yeah, I wanna be able to just call the police and feel good about it. I know. All the time. All right, or the what. Or the tomato soup. Anyway, he loves food, so he has Tourette's and some people just yell out, tomato soup! No way.

Spaghetti bolognese. Just yell things out out of nowhere. I meant like the tomato soup, like it's cold. Like the Karen that says it's cold. All right. Oh,, like it's cold. Like the Karen that says it's cold. All right. Oh, I missed it. Yeah. I've seen it.

I've seen it. I'm sorry. Wait, Karen, what'd she do with tomato soup? She ordered the tomato soup. Oh, she returned the tomato soup. She said it was too cold. Oh. What if it was gazpacho?

That's what that's what it is. It was supposed to be cold? It's supposed to be cold. Yeah, it was supposed to be cold. Was it gazpacho? I's what that's what it is. It was supposed to be cold? Was it gazpacho? I don't know, it's just tomato soup. He just really wants to say gazpacho. I'm saying gazpacho because I don't think you know what gazpacho is. Cold soup.

But she's complaining it's too cold. And the waiter goes, excuse me, you ordered gazpacho? And then she goes, yeah, but heat it up? Tell me how the Karen thing happened. Don't you want to, are you curious about the, you yelled out tomato soup. So let's get into it. So tell me exactly what restaurant is it? Tell me the order of things that happened. Okay. So I was at this Italian restaurant in West Hollywood and it's called West Chileilinian. West Chilinian.

What's it called? West Chilinian. Is it Italian? Yeah. Or is it Chilean? West Chilinian. Chilinian. Yeah. And it's an Italian restaurant. That's also a part of Game of Thrones. It's an island. Chilinian? Yeah. We must go to West Chilinian. And Karen, she was angry. So this is not something you saw online.

This is a kid. This is something I experienced. All right, so when you yell out tomato soup, right? That's what she did. We assume that it was something viral that it could all anchor our, but if it's a personal experience. Nigga, this some shit that only you saw.

That's what I'm saying. It's only something that he saw. I thought. Yeah, I know, I know. I thought I was out of the loop. Of course I was. I don't travel with you. I don't dine with you. I know, but I'm saying that's one of them.

So, yeah. Oh, you saw one in the wild. In the wild. Yeah. You know, that's such a Mark thing to say. Yeah. Who's Mark? I don't know.

It's a nigga I knew in third grade. That's exactly what it is. That's my bad. That's my bad. Damn. Are you a food returner at a restaurant? No. Are you just a...

Oh no, I used to work in restaurants, so I don't ever return it. Yeah. I just deal with it. Same. Me too. There was a time when Bobby and I got served boiling hot tofu stew,

where the guy literally took the bowls and slid it to us and it like splashed all over the place and we still... It's like frisbee glove. Frisbee glove. Oh god. Frisbee'd it. And Bobby like tipped him like 150 bucks. Yeah. Like we are, we could, I never, I've never returned food in my life. I've always tipped well, they, yeah, and also, but you know what I've been doing lately? And it works and I feel bad about it. I was at Tofu House the other night. It was a two hour wait.

So what do you do in that situation? Leave, it's late. No, you say I'm Bobby Lee. Well, I do a little thing. I go to the front. Oh, here we go. And I go, and I look. It's so stuffy.

I don't know where the host is. So, and then they lock eyes and I kind of do a. And they go. She went, no. And I went, remember? No, right? And then I went, you know, I'm by myself. I'm in a hurry.

I come here all the time and I slipped her some money. I think that's okay. Is that okay? What kind of money did you slip her? 100. I think that's okay. Is that okay? What kind of money did you slip her? 100. I have a challenge for you. Oh, tofu.

I have a challenge. Go back to that guy in Little Tokyo, I think it's Daikakuya. Remember he takes no money. You tried to slip him money and he almost like slapped it out of your head. Oh, that's right. Do you remember that?

Yeah, I remember that. He has such like fundamental like integrity about him. He was like, I don't care who you are. You're like, you're in line. I want you to go back and try yeah so integrity guy where is this place at? I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is I think it is to pronounce things. I was sweet impediment. I didn't know So what are you doing? I didn't know I didn't know I'm telling you I so call out what I just said you said integrity Didn't do that All right, so I'm just saying I shouldn't have done that. I know but a lot of that's problematic Because a lot of guests what they do is they just let it go. Right? They let it slide.

I didn't know. I didn't hear you. So what did I say? You said something in-tag-ery or something. And then you said speech am-am-ment. I said speech am-am-ment. I mumble. That's not a disability. What is that? Lazyness?

Annunciate, motherfucker. Yeah, I want to get through the work because I talk so fast. Okay, so let me ask you something. When you go to a place and they have integrity in that way, it bothers me. It's not like it was a fancy restaurant. It was a hole in the wall, which is they have great ramen there. They do. It's old school. They've been there forever. Yeah. In fact, they roast their meat in a different place

because I guess people want to know their recipe or something. So there's a different location where they take the chashu, the pork, and they boil it down somewhere else. Which is an interesting fact. I don't get it. You think people are gonna break in and get the recipe? You really think there's like recipe burglars?

Leave the jewels behind, leave the cash. We need these seven herbs and spices. Wait, yes, and I'll tell you why there are people like that, because I'm on the verge of doing doing exactly that. You about to rob what? Applebee? I am so fed up with not finding any place that has the same acai as Da Cove in Hawaii. No place like and I've literally tried hundreds of places and whatever they do over there,

I know it's top secret but like I need to know and I'm like losing my mind over it because I crave it every day. So I went to acai and they go how was it? And I go, I always go, too sweet. Too sweet, they sweeten it. It's too sweet. The Cove in Honolulu is the best Asahi I've ever had. Oh, I think I've been there. You have? Yeah, and I don't even like Asahi.

Yeah. It's exactly, it's even for people who aren't like Asahi, like it's the best. It's the best. And I need to know and I'm losing my mind. They won't say anything. It's like top secret, no? Oh, it's top secret?

You've asked? I think you've never asked. You've never asked. No, I made you ask for me. Yeah, yeah, I did ask. And all they said was, oh, we don't sweeten, but they're smart to it. Yeah, they don't sweeten, that's the answer.

But the color is different, everything about it is different. Okay. Just go there and like intern. You said you're with like, it feels like you're about to do something dangerous that might cost you Everything just to get this recipe How about just go get a job there because I still don't I don't think the employees know either like where they source their fruit

I don't you're saying that there's a there's a X site I think they have they're doing what that kukuiya does with their chashu, which is like they have a site somewhere Damn is it that deep? No. How much does acai bowl cost? Five dollars? Like 15, I think. They're 15, yeah.

Look, it's fresh fruit. And it's also, the honey they use isn't like store bought. From some mystical place. And they still don't tell us where their honey is from. They don't tell you where their honey is from. They don't know, the peanut butter's fancy. I don't know where they're. So, but their granola is like something else there?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would fly right now to Hawaii just to get that. Me too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why you know you're rich. You say some rich shit. Yeah. I would fly to Hawaii,

just to get a piece of that fuckin' nice, I eat banana. If I was that rich, I would go now, in my helicopter. But I'm not that rich. You don't take a helicopter. You can't make it. Oh, you don't? It wouldn't make it. Oh, you wouldn't make it?

It wouldn't make it. Or whatever. It's a loud ride. It's a loud ride. But like, I would, you know what I mean? I would take a private jet there. Can you do that? Yeah, you can.

Yeah, yeah, but I'm not gonna, I'm going to Hawaii, the next time I'm gonna go Hawaii probably is when I do, after the day my special comes out. Oh, when does that come out? A year from now. Yeah, that's you don't take that long to go get this sweet sweet nectar I want to go i know but my therapist says I can't go why because she goes it's my escape I have so much to escape. I have so much anxiety So much anxiety right now in my life. I can't sleep and I can't eat and I'm trying to find ways to escape and that's one of the ways of like I'm gonna get going on a vacation. When you get to Hawaii do you sleep? I do sleep then. Because I can pretend that I'm not but when I'm in LA. Don't you need to unplug? Isn't it good to get away from? No because I'm not dealing with my anxiety. Oh, I see. What I need to be doing.

And so LA is very depressing right now. And you're not, you haven't slept in a while. In a while, yeah. What's a while? Because I thought I had sleep issues. Like three weeks maybe of real good sleep. Ooh. What's yours?

What, like why- What are your sleep issues? I can't sleep. Like there are times when I can't sleep. Me too. So I just, I do like a, night quill can sometimes knock me out. Smell get some, some Indica sometimes works,

but sometimes I'm just up and thinking a lot. It's anxiety maybe. It's things, it is things. I just don't know what it is. Like they've prescribed me meds from time to time and I just don't like them. And ultimately they end up just sitting with a stockpile of random meds.

You know what doesn't work? Ambien. No, it doesn't. Yeah. Ambien works No it doesn't. Yeah, Ambien works. For Roseanne. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. For Roseanne Barr.

Yeah, and I think if you don't have like a committed eight hours, you wake up like a zombie. Yeah, I had a buddy once I told him I was gonna, when they gave me Ambien, and I was trying to sleep, and it was like a big deal, I was like, it was like multiple days in a row, I didn't sleep an hour. And he goes, he was like,

all right, so just give me your phone. I said why? He was like, you know, you might go and say some dumb shit. He's like, if you take it and you don't fall asleep, you might end up. And I didn't, so he did take my phone, but I remember walking around my house at like four in the morning

because I thought I heard somebody outside. So I got a gun and I started pacing and like looking out, like looking at my security cameras because I swear I thought somebody was trying to break into my house. And I, there was a sound outside. It was like a person outside, but then I realized, oh shit, I took an ambient.

I should probably go and lock this up. Yeah. It was unloaded. It wasn't loaded, but I was like, huh. And it was weird. There was a little bit of paranoia there on top of in my mind thinking I took an Ambien, so am I crazy?

And I was like, the Ambien wasn't actually doing anything. I just, yeah. Yeah. That is scary. I woke up with like a pile of plates of food that I didn't even know I had eaten, but apparently I did while on Ambien. a pile of plates of food that I didn't even know I had eaten But apparently I did while on ambient. Oh a pile of plates a pile like six plates These are gonna one of those like unicycles

Let's get to the root of why you can't we can't sleep then it sounds like an episode of black mirror In a way. Yeah? Yeah, have you seen Black Mirror? I love Black Mirror. Yeah, we love Black Mirror, explain please. It's just, the way you guys, like, so this could be actually a good episode of Black Mirror. Two comedians can't sleep, but there's a reasoning why. You know, but the Black Mirror, the foundation of it,

the theme of it, it has to do with technology. And there is, you guys. Leave that into it, go ahead. Like you guys could have like, you know that one episode with the two black guys? Yes. The video game. My favorite.

They would just bone each other. But let's create it. Let's create it. Yeah, yeah. Anthony Mackie just clapping cheek. Captain America. You can cheek. Captain America. You can clap by Captain America. You ain't coming back from that. You ain't coming back at all.

What was something original? What? So two comedians, you guys are going to do a biggest show and you haven't slept in three weeks and you come across this little hole in this place in downtown LA A glory hole. A glory hole. A glory whore. A glory whore. With chinky eyes. Why are you doing that with your eyes?

You're looking at Bobby like this. Are you just repeating the episode that... No, not the little things, but they give you like little things that can go in your eyes. Not to make it, you know, but. Whoa, that's crazy. No, that's crazy. So, no, oh my God. That's crazy.

Power through high. You did the chi sound? That's what it sounds like? No, I said, chi-ching. Be very careful, dude. I'm like, chit-ching. Wow. We're on a tightrope here, dude.

Okay, I'll write the episode up. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'll bring it back to you. Maybe a treatment. Huh? A treatment, write a treatment of, yeah. From you guys? Yeah, so we can go film it.

Yeah, so we can film it. Okay, I'll write it. We know the Black Mirror people. We'll film it. Yeah, we'll film it, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Okay. I'll find it. Yeah. Yeah, okay, okay Let's can we talk about anxiety now the real thing. Yeah move. Okay. So, what do you think the root is? I don't forget it. Okay, you don't forget it. I'm not gonna forget it. It's a good episode. Yeah

That's why we use here That's why we're here. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, like mirror episodes. It's gotta be anxiety. Yeah. Yeah. It is anxiety.

It is anxiety. You know, you balance a lot of different things. And so my fear is failure. And when you have like 10 irons going at the same time, you feel like if you dropped the ball on one, you failed. Even though nine succeeded, you're like, okay, I'm a dad. I got these few projects I'm working on, some projects that I haven't gotten off the ground yet. I'm supposed to be writing this thing. This is going on in my life.

I'm in a bad relationship. And you're juggling all these things. This person's sick in your life, that person's sick. And you're like, god damn it, I can't beat 10 places at once. Instead of just going to bed and retooling the next day, a lot of it just sits there and you think of it. And so a lot of times I'm strategizing before I go to bed and I'm like, Instead of just going to bed and retooling the next day,

a lot of it just sits there and you think of it. And so a lot of times I'm strategizing before I go to bed, okay tomorrow I gotta go do this, this, this, and this. And before I know it, even before a live show for example, I'm running through jokes or something. I'm running through who the guest is on the live show and I can't sleep.

So before a show I'm up and I'm just in my head and we don't help, nothing helps. It's shutting that down. Yeah. Here's my root of my anxiety, is the special. Because I believe that if it's not good, my career's over. I mean, that's what my mind says. Because I've never done one, there's so much pressure on it

that I have convinced myself that if this thing isn't great, and I'm not there yet with it, I'm not ready for it, ready yet, that I might as well pack everything up and just quit the business, because there's just, I put so much pressure on it that every waking moment now, I feel this weight.

And as the time goes closer and closer, I put so much like, you know, insane expectations on something that my therapist is like, Bilbo does one every other year, you're gonna do one from now, you know what I mean? It's not your last one, but in my mind I think. It could be your last one though. I know, that's what I feel, this is it,

this is the last one, they're not gonna give you another one know! That's what I feel, this is it. This is the last one. They're not gonna give you another one. Because here's what I would say, because you are already in iconic entertainment, especially in the comedy world status. I don't believe that, but that's not true. You don't have to believe it, but that is true. That is your common name in comedy.

It's so funny that you say that, because I really don't feel that. I don because I really don't feel that. I don't, I don't feel it. I don't see, when I see other people that have that title, I have imposter syndrome. There's no way that I believe that I'm, when I'm with those people, that I'm like one of them. Well, they're different levels.

It doesn't mean you are Eddie Murphy, but you are definitely in the comedy, as far as the greats go, you're in that conversation. And so I think if you do the special and it's bad, then you for sure are out of the conversation. That's what I'm saying. But to me, I was never in the conversation. To me, I was never in the conversation.

You're in it, but you are. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, I feel like this, I'm not in the conversation. You're in it, but you are. No, no, no, no. You are in it. No, I feel like this. I'm not in the conversation, and if I do a bad one, I'm never gonna be in a conversation. You're in it, yeah. Okay, anyway, well thanks for putting more, now I can't ever sleep.

Fuck off. Can I just like, like, make you feel. Yeah, yeah, yeah, can you help me feel better? Can I make you feel a little bit better? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't really come across a special in the last three years that has like, really blown me away.

So I feel like even if it was subpar, you would skate by just fine. Nothing is, no one's actually acing their specials out there. Because there's so many and it's oversaturated, right? There's like, everyone has one, so be easy on yourself. Even if you blow that one, Lamor and Suss, there's nine other things that are working out for you it's it's like this it's I've had people like big people see me perform and I'm like and I killed yeah and

nothing's come of it what my mind think is gonna happen is not gonna happen can I tell you what that is what they think you already got it there's no there's no they don't need to add to your plate. Like I said, you're already there, so no one's like, oh, let me give him this opportunity to do, he's already doing it. Well, that's the case with everyone then. Well, yeah, I remember when I first got into the business.

I tested for a new girl. You're waiting to say that? You know that? I know that. I tested. It's a big wound for him. It's a big wound for me. I know that. I came this close to getting it. I know, but you know what? That's why I said it's a big wound for him. It's a big one for me. I know that I came this close to getting it

I know but you know what like that's why I said there's levels to this I did a screen cuz with Zoe. Did you really? Yeah. Oh my part from my my role. Winston Yeah, I think it's what was it Winston or coach was it the coach it was for coach. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, that yeah, you know, it's, but like I said before, you got so many things going on. At the time I didn't. But coming in. It was devastating.

Exhibit also tested. No. Yeah. Really? Hit my car? Exhibit, yeah. Now think, Damien Williams Jr, Exhibit, Bobby Lee, like, across the board they went.

Yeah, it was like- Because the way I played it was weak almost, like kind of like weird across the board they went. Yeah, it was like. Because the way I played it was weak almost, like kind of like weird and awkward and you know what I mean? Yeah, they had a lot of people, a lot of people read for that character. But like. Tess though.

Tess, yeah, but you know. In the conversation. Oh my God. No sleep, no escape. That's crazy. Dude, that's it, dude. Oh shit. That's the fucking black mirror. Oh God, I did that That's it, dude. Dude, that's it, dude. Oh, shit. Dude, that's the fucking black mirror. Oh, God, I did that.

I did that. Yeah, written by Jaime Garcia. Put that in there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, no sleep. Hey, I love your, uh-oh. What? I love the manoeuvre.

Okay, what? Now, you and I have done a movie together. Do you know what it is? Crazy, what is that? We did a movie together. We just did one together. We've done how many?, do you know what it is? We did a movie we just did one together we've done how many we probably did two now I think okay, what are the movies? Can I mention them when we just did or is it yeah, we can mention happy Gilmore to You're in there. I did a whole scene with you you You actually forgot

Oh, that's right. You actually forgot. That's Hollywood. That's what I'm saying. Well, you got so much shit going on. Oh no, my special. You'll never remember who you were in a movie with. We did another movie. What's the other one?

Is it Sandy Wexler? No. No. We did another movie together. Fuck. Yeah. Oh, here we are. Give them some time. I'll give them some time. Wait, we didn't do a scene together.

No, we didn't. Okay. Ooh, were you in... I love it. Wait, how long ago was it? That don't help me. No. No.

Because once I tell you when, you're gonna know. Was it called White Tea? Because I did a movie a long time ago. No, I was never in White Tea. Janky as hell. Yeah, yeah. Damn, I was never in white t-shirt. Janky as hell. Yeah, yeah. Damn, I don't. You're looking at the screen.

Yeah, I'm thinking I'm gonna put it up. I'll give you some hints. Give me just one small hint. It was during COVID. Oh, was it like the Lockwood movie? During COVID? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How It Ends.

Yeah, How It Ends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How It Ends, yeah, yeah. How It Ends. How It Ends. Oh, that's right. That's right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did, yeah. How It Ends. Or, yeah, How It Ends. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How It Ends, yeah, yeah. How It Ends. How It Ends. Oh, that's right, that's right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Did they put my name on the thing? No.

Hey, man, don't even worry about all that. Don't even worry about it. Yeah, yeah, they didn't put my name on the thing. They didn't have the- Yeah, that's crazy. The space. Insane. The fun. Are you on the, are you in the photo?

No, I didn't go to the photo. Look at how fat I am. I didn't go to premiere. As you? Look at how, yeah. Look at how fat I am. Well, you look like a DJ. You look like- Yeah, at how fat I am. You look like a DJ. Oh my god.

You look like a drug dealer. Your head got smaller. My head is so much smaller. Your head looks so much smaller. You look like you used to mean business back in the 70s. Who's in that photo? Bradley Whitford. Tawny News.

Oh my god. Who's that? Whitney? Yeah. Oh wow. You look like Storm in that. Wow. Yeah, so we were in that together.

You don't remember. I call people names. I call people names. I call people names. Oh wow. She look like Storm in that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, yeah, so yeah, we were in that together. You don't remember. I call people now to try to put a project together. It's so much red tape. I can't even get people on my show, live show.

Oh really? Yeah, I try to do this show called Hai Chu, which is at the Comedy Store. It's all Asian review. And in my mind I'm like, I know easy, everyone. You know what I mean? Joe Koi, no. Jimmy O-Yang, no.

Shang Wang, no. Ali Wong, no. They say no? Yeah, Margaret Cho, no. You know what I mean? And then- Dumbfounded, yes. No, he hasn't done it even twice. He hasn't done it.

So I just, I told the story, I'm not doing this anymore. Booking it, because it's like, I can't get anyone to do it. I like the name you landed on, I choose cute. Thank you. Wait, have you started it yet? I did two of them, they sold out, but I'm the weight of the show. So they sell out because of me,

but I wanted to do like me and my friends and people that like. But all Asian people. Yeah, but then I started using Indians and other ones. Oh, I see. And Afghanis and all kinds of different ones. Wait, so you're finding Afghani comedians. Like Middle Eastern comedians.

Okay, so you're finding Middle Eastern, and they say yes, but. I feel like they're more akin to me than real Asians. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah. Real Asians. Maybe your own people, man.

Yeah, my own people, yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. Hate to see it. Yeah. Hey, what's that movie? That's what we've always said about the Asian community, they never stick together.. You know what I mean? Yeah. You hate to see it. Yeah. Yeah. Hey, what's that movie? That's what we've always said about the Asian community. They never stick together.

You don't think we do? Yeah, I think you do. I think you do. Because I think that you, I mean, how do I say this? What about saying, you got it? I didn't say nothing. You said, you. You, you're supposed to be on that too.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You. No, I, I think certain groups, I think Hispanics have been notoriously, especially in the comedy scene, at a war with each other. Really? Yeah, I've seen- Oh, with George Lopez.

There's just been different weird wars, you know, of people not liking each other, and, you know what I mean, if I see that fool, you know what I mean, that kind of a thing. You know what it is? I think historically when we're all trying to get into the business, we always say it's white driven. So there's only room for a certain amount of folks.

Oh, we got one black dude in here already, they won't have two. So instead of helping my homeboy out, I'm gonna go, nah, I can't do it, you're on your own. Whereas other groups of people can sometimes go, no, we all in here, let's all do it. It's kind of crabs in a barrel mentality. But I don't know how real it is,

but I understand when I hear comedians say it. Is there a competitiveness with others? It is, not with me though, which is so interesting. I'm a firm believer in what's mine is mine I've also been successful in my career so I don't have the thing in me to really be competing with other actors because I I'm also a fan of funny people and like really talented people and so I'd rather just root you on And just like go, you know, like I see it all the time when I see like actors that I've competed against in movies

I'm reposting it. You know what? I mean, I'm like telling people to go check it out. Go see it I might not go see it. But like I'll go hey everybody go check this movie out. Yeah Me too, because I just feel like we all need to We're all entertainers and we're all we got to support each other No matter what your ethnicity is the arts for me That's the most important thing in the world Your head was so far away from me I don't know what else to do That's a weird thing. I think the first time I've ever seen you back down

Back down from what? From a handhold. Like you attempted and then you were like. Because he went to a fist. I didn't know what he was doing. In transition, you know what I mean? I'm just improvising. Oh yeah.

You know what I mean? If he would have stayed limped handed, I would have held it. Yeah, yeah. Like if he would have stayed like this, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, but he didn't. He went into this. That's not, oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah. To be honest with you, I wanna do it all. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, but he didn't. He went into this. Yeah. Oh, I see what you're saying. Yeah, yeah.

To be honest with you, I wanna do it all. Yeah. You know what I mean? I really do. I mean, I still read for big movies. I just never get them, but I still have the opportunity. But I want, if Jurassic Park did a movie. You wanna be, you wanna-

Like, The Philosopher or whatever. Yeah, I would do it with you. You wanna be in those movies. You wanna be in Jumanji. I mean- You know what the problem is, Bobby? You know what the problem is, Bobby? It's because you're broken. You are stunted, okay?

Take care of your motherfucking kids first. Stop cheating on your wife. And then, then. You are funnier than Aziz Ansar. You don't have the mansion like him. But you know what I'm saying, right? Like when I did, Borderlands was a shitty movie, but you know, still doing the red carpet with all those stars and stuff, you feel like,

oh, this is part of the dream, you know what I mean? But it's like, so you know, I want to do it all, you know? But, you know, I'm not saying that I'm not going to do, you feel like, oh, this is a part of the dream. You know what I mean? But it's like, so, you know, I want to do it all, you know? But that's why I'm trying to be as safe as I can still. You know what I mean? Yeah, no, I know what you mean.

We talked about earlier. I'm, you know, you have different sponsors or different things you want to do. Yeah, you have to know when to back down on certain topics. Yeah, but imagine if I could say whatever I wanted to say I think you'd be the biggest thing in the world. I know I think you'd be president because I have ideas Here's another thing. I have I have political ideas. Really? Oh, yeah that I want to say There's things that I really feel super strong about just move to texas. Then you could I know but I don't texas

No, he'd get he'd get shot in Texas. I would get shot in Texas, yeah. Oh, if you said what you wanted to say? Yeah. So, there are things I wanna say, yeah. See, here's the thing. I think I'm the opposite of Texas in many ways. I think you are.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just move, kind of. Well, you're here, you're in California. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, you know. Say one thing that you wanted to say, just get it off your chest, we'll cut it. It better not start with, I think the blacks need to.

No, I have no problems with any kind of ethnicity. Okay. And I don't, I love everybody. And we love you. Thank you. Are you speaking for Hispanics or the ethnicity in general? All ethnicities, all ethnicities. My people, my age.

Yeah, I love all ethnicities in general? All ethnicities, all ethnicities, my people, my age. Yeah, I love all ethnicities, I love all sexual orientations. I have no problem with any of that, you know? I have problems with certain directions this country is going. Okay. In which direction do you think? You know what I mean?

In a positive one. In a positive one in a positive positive for me, okay This is yours so you could feel free say what you got to say right now And they saw that just can't start with the blacks did this or juice with the blacks I have the black started the riots in 92 burned down a lot of Korean liquor stores, and I'm fucking tired of it And I'll do it again. Yeah. Oh shit. Yeah, yeah.

Hurry up and buy what bitch? I'm going to buy my shit. Yeah. Gasoline. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Why did they never, I would love to do an LA Riot movie. A comedy or a drama?

I mean it would be a comedy. Maybe yeah, somebody pitched me a LA riot movie really it was a it was a Romcom a romcom it was like a Christmas romcom centered around riots in LA I forget yeah, it was like It was something about the Rodney King I forget. Yeah, it was like, uh, it was something about the Rodney King Beating and then while that was happening as the backdrop the world was on fire and these two people like fell in love with each other I don't know. That's not the movie. I want to see. Yeah, it was crazy. I would see more of a real depiction of the events that come whose point of view. Oh That's a very good one. Yeah

From the g's point of view. From two lovers in love. Lamar, break that window. We have to get that TV. Lamar? That's his name? Is that a Lamar gay? Lamar gotta be breaking windows.

He can break butts. Break the window. Lamar, first of all, gay people ain't out be breaking windows. He can break butts. Break the window. Lamar, first of all, gay people ain't out there breaking no windows. There's so much class. They ain't doing that. They weren't looting. They weren't looting.

I just wanna have, wear 90s clothing, and have a shotgun and be on a rooftop with other Koreans. Oh, yeah, you out there like a sniper. No, but you know what I mean? I just want, I think this was an interesting time in LA. And I think that, uh, don't you think that was it? They've never done a movie on it. They've done 15 movies about the Vietnam War. I thought they did LA Riot movies. Yeah. They've done a couple. David Sow was in, um, yeah, but

not like a Hollywood one. That's Justin Chon. Oh yeah. I love Justin. He's like gook was about the la riots. Yeah. Oh, I didn't Who was just yeah, justin. Yeah, so gook was about it. I didn't know there's one in 1992 with tyrese Wait with tyrese 1992 with tyrese. Yes called 1992. Oh, I thought you meant in 1992 Yeah, his son goes into like is in the wrong place at the wrong time and these people are trying to rob a place during the riots yeah oh Scott Eastwood really oh that's pretty cool also they already did it then yeah it's good yeah some blu-ray yeah are you afraid of dying yeah no I'm just farted do you smell it oh great

to dying yeah no I'm just farted you smell it do you smell it though? Bobby that's terrible. Bobby this is something you probably don't know about me yeah yeah and you're about to experience it yeah people do that yeah you leave I leave you're gonna no no you're gonna you're gonna are you gonna really leave that yeah that's horrible how about that can you leave and come back? No, I'm gonna come back on my own time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, come back real quick, come back. Let's take a break. What just happened? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was really bad. I was on a flank with my daughter and I was sitting, we were sitting in the plane, me right next to her, and then you come in. You sit one seat right behind my daughter, right? I already know. Oh, he farted.

And in the middle of like... Are you being, I can't tell, I don't know if you're being real or not. I'm being real, that's Andrew. I brought this up to Andrew once, and I was like, I don't, cause like I said, I hold you in such high esteem. I can't say that shit about him,

it's Bobby Lee, I can't do that. But I have to say it to Andrew, because I know y'all are friends. So I said it to him, and he was like, yeah, that sounds like Bobby. All of a sudden this whiff just kept happening. I was like, god damn, somebody is just letting him go on this plane, and I turn around, and it's just you.

Laying down, sleep, just letting him seep out. They were just crawling out of your ass and just infiltrating the whole first class. That was the roughest, give me turbulence any day over what I experienced on that flight. Even my daughter was like this. Okay, okay. Okay, I see what's going on here.

I see what's going on. There's a little shaming going on here. I couldn't say nothing. There's a little shaming going on here. I'm looking like it can't be bothered. Can I add to this? Yeah, go ahead. This has been like one of my biggest

like embarrassments in my life is like being sat next to the guy I know everyone's like, who the fuck is it? Somebody's like, stop farting. And I know it's him and I can't say it out loud. And each time that he does fart, he looks over at me and he winks. I love the wink though.

And he's so proud of it. And I know, and the worst feeling was they know generally what direction it's coming from. So then I got looked at, I got the death stares. Do you remember that? And it'd be like, stop it, Bobby, stop it. Like plug your butt, plug your butt. Stick a black death in your butt.

And I would catch all the stray angry stares. Oh god. I'm sorry. Two nights ago. Oh sorry. That's a great LA riots. Breaking windows, breaking butts. Oh god, you guys are quick. That's a great LA riots breaking windows breaking butts You guys are quick so two nights ago I the first night that we kind of hung out

We were in the hallway at the Comedy Store, and she was standing there with Sarah Highland My ex-girlfriend you know everyone knows Sarah And a couple nights ago. I thought do you remember when I said who took a shit in the bathroom and they were like, yeah It's not really bad. I got I have to admit I had farted And she looked at me and it was almost She could recall how bad it was and then she was like questioning if she should even be hanging out with me Oh, no, so when you what you guys are doing right now nice is shaming and and then she was like questioning if she should even be hanging out with me. Oh no. So what you guys are doing right now is shaming. And yeah, I have stinky poo farts.

Listen, let me tell you something. No, no, no, let me tell you something, guy. You come into my house, right? And I didn't have to admit to the fart. And I'll tell you another thing, pal. I have another one brewing and I'm not going to release. Please don't release. Yeah, yeah, I'm not going to release, right? But you know what? It is a problem and I'm

trying to seek help for it. No you're not. I'm not. You're right. No you're not. Because you be winking at people and shit. Okay. I can shame you when you have no shame. When you're just like this. I'm going to point you out. I don't know what the problem, I have a lot of problems and it's one like this, I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna point you out.

I don't know what the, I have a lot of problems and it's one of the things I'm gonna address, my stinky farts. Okay, and I'm being real, it's really bad. And over the years I had pooing issues as well. And these are all things that I'm gonna address. You know, I'm 53 and I'm gonna address them. Yeah, it's too late, it's too late. Yeah, go ahead.

Yeah, it's a long time ago. Well, I ordered this, look, look. What is it? Health into digestion. Healthy digestion? Well, what's too late. Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, it's a long time ago. Well, I ordered this, look, look. What is it? Health into digestion. Healthy day? Well, what's in it? It's not even open. It's still at the back.

I know, I ordered it a month ago. A month? I haven't. You got Spam and Red Bull and cigarettes in front of you. That's why you should. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't talk about Spam, give it back. Oh, excuse me, high and mighty,

you've never had the stinkers? Yeah, absolutely, but I'm one of those people that, I ask anybody, and it's a detriment to my own health, I wait or I get up and I leave into an open area. I hate when I have to fall on a plane because I'm like, I gotta get up and go to that bathroom. Even the moment you release in the bathroom and you walk out, and some badass woman that's right there waiting to go in,

and then she look at you and she's looking at you with that look, like yeah, hey, and then as she gets closer to the door, she's like, god damn, what the fuck did you do in there? And I'm just like, I had to let it go. And that's the place to let it go. You say that? In my mind and in my heart.

What you say to her is this, what I've done this many times, even though I'm the one that made the mess. That wasn't the idea. I go, oh, is the thing, someone before me? Or I say, wow, it's been smelling like that, you know what I mean? Or you just be like, hey, don't go in there,

the person before left out of math or whatever. That's a good one. The one thing that I really, like, deeply dislike is when, I'm with you, when I have to fart, my clothes cannot be over my butt. I don't like the fart to stick onto my clothes. And when I have a very, like very sensitive, like sense of smell. So when I get, when someone approaches me,

I know if they farted into their jeans for the last two hours. Like I can smell it in them and it pisses me off. It's in the fabric. Yeah, it literally digs into the fabric. It's residual. Yeah. So you gotta like pull the pants down

and do like fart it out that way. Yeah, that's how I do it. I fart like a kid pees in like, you know, when you're a little boy and you gotta go to the urinal, you pull your pants down to your ankles, that's how I fart. He has, see Gilbert, when he takes a shit in public, he has to take his pants completely off.

And then you just fold them up and put them in a bin? What do you, I throw it over the wall so people know what's up. You, you, like you, you're shitting me, no pun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No. Really? Yeah. Yeah.

So if I go to the airport, so no one goes, so no one tries to like shake. Yeah. So if I go to the airport, your pants are hanging over me. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And no one tries to like shake and disturb me. I've never even seen that, where I walk, I go, there's a whole trousers. Trousers? And socks and the whole thing.

You know what I'm gonna do next time? Underwear? See that bullshit? I'm gonna steal those pants. Yeah, that's it, that's it. I'm gonna put them in two, like two skulls down. Two skulls over? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You gotta figure it out. You gotta figure it out. Wow. Cheeks out Right, so you over the salt so if they stole it's typically in the handicapped stall, too Why are you doing? Why I need a room. I think you know that's because you had um you were potty trained really late, right? Yeah So like I need a lot of room. How old are these before we continue this? They're new but it's just hard to eat. Is it really, can you handle sour? I could try one now do it together. Yeah, I'll try it together. It's so sour Random tiktok challenge all of a sudden god What's worse that other fart no keep give it it turns sweet eventually Hi, May while they're doing that. can you ask your questions that you prepared? Hey, I saw that one TikTok clip of that movie.

Yeah, man. Yeah, man. Denzel Washington with a girl. She thought she took a pic. What movie was that? That was called Game Night. Oh, okay. I can take that out. That was your question? Read the paper. Read what you wrote. No, no, no. Can I read it?

I thought you were doing a Denzel Washington impression. When? Just now? Yeah. That's racist. Oh, it's not. That's the most racist thing I've ever heard. The whole time he thought you were doing a Denzel Washington impression.

Did I do Jackie Chan right now? I got to the sweep. Did you get to the sweep? Yeah. Good, good. That's aggressive. That was really good. Have you had one? I think the other side's going to paralyze. No, no, no. Eat one. It might help you.

You have to eat one. I cannot. We got to the sweet. You got to go to the sweet. My face cannot handle sour right now. You're a cowardess. I am. I'm a coward.

No. Eat one. No, thank you. But once it gets to the sweet though, the sweet isn't that satisfying? No, it's not good Yeah Where I spit I may next question, please. What do you want to spit it? Oh, yes, but can you get a thing thing? You know like it no more. I may go ahead ask your next question I can read it for you. I can you know what?

Your question you don't have a question anymore. I can read it for you. I can, you know what? Let me. I finished. Refrain it. Your question's not finished. You don't have a question anymore? I do have a question, but it's dumb. What is it? It's like if you could replace your teeth with like any other essentials. Replace my teeth?

Teeth. My testosterone? Your teeth? Mm-hmm. Like with like a can opener or like a bottle opener or. All teeth? Like the entire row of teeth? Yeah.

You know what I mean? So my teeth are gone and I gotta replace it with something. What would it be? Yeah. Like something essential. Something essential? Ooh. It'll, probably like a spoon or something like that.

I probably have a bunch of spoons. So I ain't gotta use my hands. I'll probably do that. What? Bobby, it's a real question. It's a real question. Cause think about it. Oh, you know what I would do? I would replace them with like piano keys.

So every time I talk, it sound musical. You know what I mean? I melt the panties off all these bitches. You lick your teeth and it just does a whole. It just sounds like D'Angelo. Yeah. You know what I mean I melt the panties off all these bitches you lick your teeth and it just does a whole it just sounds like D'Angelo yeah like an electronic keyboard sound yeah I would do that yeah yeah ask me a question hmm I want to answer if I do write that episode for black mirror would you guys be in it if Netflix and the showrunners wanted it? Yeah, I'll give you okay. I'll write you a parts both of you. Thank you. Thank you

I wonder if the fart got in the can It doesn't do that Yeah, it went under and up not up and down another trajectory of the wind Heat rises though It went under and up, not up and down. Another trajectory of the wind. Yeah, you're fine. Heat rises though, so heat rises. There should be like, fall out. Yeah. So this is your podcast?

Yeah. The La Morning After. Actor and comedian Lamorne Morris is joined by writer-director Kyle Shevrin. I love Kyle. It's amazing. How many episodes have you done? I Don't know. Are you like?

Give me some guests that you've been on it. Uh, yeah, John Appetow. I'm enough Jake Johnson Josh Gad So she was a made a Cool funny people You know, I don't know. It's like a silly. Has Santino done it? No, not yet, not yet. Rick Glassman's been on, Jake Johnson.

I love Jake. David Jr., Marron Zio, yeah, Matt Walsh. Pete Holmes? Yeah, Pete Holmes. Great guy. Yeah. And you love, and you love. Jason Reitman, yeah, we've had some. You love doing it. I do, yeah, it's silly. I just do it guy. Yeah. And you love, Jason Reitman.

Yeah, we've had some. You love doing it. I do, yeah, it's silly. I just do it at my house. So we just, people come by and we just play games and talk shit. Oh, that's great, man. Do you fart?

No, I would never do that to a guest. No, if I, There's like a level of respect that I have for each person that walks into my home, you know what I mean? I feel like when a person walks into my home, I have to like, you know, I take care of them. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? I feel like when a person walks into my home, I have to like, you know, I take care of them. You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? I don't give them like sour balls and farts. Parting gift. That's the title of that episode. That's the title of that episode, Sour Balls and Farts. Yeah. Thank you for giving us our title.

Yeah, yeah. So it's kinda. Yeah. Let me see, if I went there and I farted, would that be a thing or no? No, because you're, you. I'm the guest. I'm expecting you to do something like that.

Interesting. And also like I said, man, I hold you up here. So I'm like, do whatever you want, bro. Do whatever you want. But there are repercussions in my house if you do some shit like that, though. Like what, oh, what is, ooh, what would they be? You sure you wanna know?

Yeah, yeah. You know what, I would never do that. And guys, I already apologize, I called it out. Let's move on from the farts. I feel bad about it, all right. We got the title of the thing, Sour Ball and Puff Farts. Okay, so is there anything else you wanna promote after this? Yeah, you know, well, I don't actually know

when my show comes out, Spider Noir comes out. Is it the Super Spider-Man thing? Yeah. Is it animated or? No, it's live action. Wow. Live action, it's a noir, it's dope. You can check out.

Yeah, I think I've seen a clip of it on, not a clip, but something mentioning it on TikTok. Yeah, they dropped like, they like leaked a trailer. Amazing. And then they try to take it away. Who else is it? Did you work with Nick? Yeah, this is him, yeah.

He's like a little duo. And how was he? He's the best. Nick is one of the... I've never worked with a more professional, yet wild actor in my life. Wow. And wild in a good way. Wild meaning like, he's eccentric, you know what I mean? He's very eclectic.

But like when he's on set, you would never know that, because he's so professional. He... Knows everything. He knows everything about your character, his character. Wow, he's piecing things together on the he's so brilliant and he's so well prepared Yeah, yeah But he's also the coolest dude to talk to because he loves sharing like old hollywood stories and things like that Oh, I love that shit. He's the fucking wow coolest man, and then he'll like skirt off in a million dollar car Amazing that's nick cage. That's Nick Cage.

Where'd you mainly shoot? Here in LA, we shot the whole thing here in LA. We're all over the place, different studios. Yeah, you know, similarities right there. Six weeks, how long was the shooting? Six months. Wow. Six, seven months or something like that.

Wow. Yeah, it's a lot of big set pieces, that's all I can say about it it's it's gonna be done. Congratulations, dad. Thank you, man. Thank you Yeah, I got that. You know a bunch of stuff just is brewing around. Yeah You know hasn't announced yet, but I'll tell you off camera. I can't tell you on camera Really? Yeah, yeah some big things though, huh? Yeah. Yeah, I think yeah, I mean You'll see okay. you'll see. Okay. You'll see. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Congratulations, you got Emmy too. Thank you very much. Congratulations on your Emmy. That means a lot.

Thank you. You said Emmy? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What'd you say? That's what I said, Emmy too. Emmy? I was feature-penned speech dependent too, Bobby, remember? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha This is probably the most fun I've had on the podcast. Are you being, don't be honest. I'm being serious, I'm being serious.

I mean, minus the part where you, you know. We'll edit anything. LaMoure, LaMoure, we'll edit anything else you want. Just don't get me wrong. There's no such thing as that. I know, I know. There really is no such thing as that. It's a fabricated idea.

I'm shocked. What? I'm shocked. What? Did you like playing the part of Garrett Morris on Saturday night? Oh yeah, that was fun man. I've always wanted to be on like a comedy show like that like an SNL or something or or MADtv. Yeah. But I you know. Was it fun filming it? I was great. It was great. It felt it Jason Reitman's the best director so it felt like Feel like we were just playing around and he happened to capture everything so we got we got to be really silly

You kind of look like Garrett there. Yeah, same last name, you know same forehead People you know people People thought we were related. I used to tell people all the time that he was my dad. He's passed right? No, he's still here Oh, did you interview? Did you talk to him before you did the part? Oh yeah, I got to hang out with him a little bit. Wow, that's cool. He would tell me some wild stories, man. Like the wildest stories about those days.

And yeah, yeah, they were crazy back then. Oh my God, I can imagine. All they did was drugs and fuck each other. I know. That's it. I was shocked they got a show. A lot of gay love too. Yeah, probably, yeah. Even guys that are heterosexuals and stuff,

they did a lot of experimenting. Oh, great. Yeah. All right, cool, man. You know what I'm just saying, that if you were- We know a lot about that. If you and I were stars of the 70s and 80s, you and I would have made love.

No, no, I still have standards of standards. You know, I have standards as well. I'm just saying it was a cultural, artistic thing to do back then. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah I have standards as well. I'm just saying it's a cold It was a cultural artistic thing to do back. Oh, yeah. Yeah, but like like I think that you would experiment Experiment not yoked. Yeah, no One night at a shoot, yeah, I'm just saying if if I'm gonna be like, throwing around, I'm more Jason Momoa type. Right, but with all the drugs though, you know what I mean?

I look island. With all the drugs you're on, like you and I would have been at what, Runaway, what's it? What's the big club at the 52, what's it? Oh, you talking about back in New York? Yeah, New York. Club? Studio 54. Studio 54. You and I, you and I, three in the morning,

with Andy Warhol, Mick Jagger's there. I don't like those guys. Okay, I know you don't like them but, and then they leave, you and I lock eyes. Yeah, yeah, we're on hallucinogens. No, because once Mick Jagger leaves, I gotta go too. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, we're on the hallucinogens. No, because once Mick Jagger leaves, I gotta go too. Oh, I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Party's over at that point. Why would Sly and his family stone, too? I might stick around. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I would Sly, dude. Who else am I with? Aretha?

Now I'm tapping Aretha, though. Okay. Who's behind Aretha? Somebody behind her? Yeah, me. I'm behind her, dude. And then Chevy Chase is behind you. And Chevy Chase is behind me, dude. You guys are doing it like that?

We're doing a four way train, dude. God, man. Aretha, you, me, and then Chevy. I have to enter you. No, no, no, no. I have to be. I can't be the caboose in that situation. I'm so tight.

Okay. But do you think back then that it was more free sexually or no? Oh yeah, probably. But it was free but you had to be closeted still. It was illegal. Amen. You know, you had to be.

I like in pockets. In pockets. Yeah. Because there was this guy named Charlie Hill. And Charlie Hill was, he passed away and he was the first native comedian. And he was a dear friend. I loved him so much.

He was one of those headliners that when I started was just so kind. You met some douchebags probably growing up, right? In this business, douchies. But he was so nice, but he used to tell me stories and even him, I think it was either, it was Farrah Fawcett or somebody like, someone huge that he hooked up with or something

or he dated, you know what I mean? Look up Charlie Hill please. But he was handsome. Oh yeah back I guess back in the day. Charlie Hill was handsome he was tall. He was tall and handsome so you're saying that I wouldn't be back then. No no no I think that the weirder you were back then the more likely you would probably have like some sexual exploration. Yeah that's Charlie. Yeah, he's handsome. He's handsome? Yeah, he is. Okay, I don't know. Yeah, I guess he is. Mm-hmm.

Yeah, yeah. All right, so you don't think I would have then? No, I'm saying you would have. But I don't think that you think that I'm that handsome. I think... What about you, Lamar? What about him, do I think he's handsome? Yeah.

I mean... Him or Bobby, up your butt. Let's play the game. Him or Bobby up your butt. How tall is he? How tall is he? He looks a little, how tall is he Bobby? 5'11".

He look big, I don't want him in me. Okay. That be it, let's move on. You and I would have had a bunch of kids in the 70s and 80s. I'm not gonna lie to you. No, no, we would not together. The science says, and you could frame it how you want,

you cannot have a baby. So how we gonna have a bunch of kids? No, I'm just saying separately. Back in the day, in the 80s, in the comedy story peak, you mean where all, like Monday nights was sold out in the main room, you guys were, you and I were going up, there we go, Studio 54. That looks so good that movie love the movie

I was just in the background I'm always in the background like what is going on yeah it's getting scary on chat gtp is that chat gtp gbt yeah yeah I have an exit plan what's your exit plan? My exit plan is this. Sell this house. Liquidate everything. Right? Call my agents, my manager, I'm out. Right? Buy a place somewhere, far away. Get the beard surgery. Get the eye surgery. And what? Get off the grid? Not be Bobby Lee? Yeah. No one yeah, no one knows me I'll get off the grid

You know your personality is still inside of you fart. I want to change Bobby must be you say are you Bobby Lee? You know you resemble someone a lot of people say that man People say that I look like Bobber Lee, but I ain't Bobber Lee man. I'm fucking tired of that shit. Same speech impediment. Yeah. Well, I just talk fast man. You know what I mean?

But yeah, you know what? I don't even know. I'm not even a big fan of that guy man. Let me see your thumbs. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. He got a thumbs for his dick. Let me see that dick.

Let me see that zebra dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Give Lamar and Garna a round of applause. I'm gonna make you cry I'm gonna make you cry I'm gonna make you cry I'm gonna make you cry I'm gonna make you cry