TigerBelly - Margaret Cho & The Rich Caterpillar

Episode Date: July 5, 2023

Margaret has a fire leg. Bobby still can't believe it. Khalyla holds her breath. We chat Kirkland sybian, shattered ankles, Japanese ropes, fingerling potatoes, and vacuum-sealed kinks.www.tigerbellylive.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Streaming now only on peacock. All right, listen. Some of the things I say tonight is going to be mean. Let it happen. Have a good time. Kevin Hart back in a new comedy special. The Brian James. Real good friend of mine.

Well, he was. He hasn't heard this joke yet. We'll see what happens. And everyone's getting checked. I want to get back to the times where you can tell people sit your dumb ass down. Kevin Hart, reality check. Streaming now only on P-Cock.

That's not fiction, that's a fact. I think it does, it does stay off dementia though. There we go. I don't want dementia. I rather not mouth cancer. It's just like a mild stimulant. There's something about it that it makes you not have dementia. So it doesn't, it doesn't come on. I think nicotine by itself,

in the same way caffeine in like it's pure state, is just a mild stimulant, but it's what's wrapped, what's wrapping the nicotine. So that's stuff, the tobacco, the other stuff. I know, but I quit smoking. I don't want to smoke again. I'd rather you smoke than do that.

No, my lungs feel great. Yeah. Yeah. Did you try nicotine gum? Yeah, I tried all the little, yeah, and the gum and toothpicks and all that stuff. But this is the real thing. Yeah, you know. It's fine.

You're like, it's fine. It is what it is. You know, it's good. It's like you should do whatever you make, you feel good. Okay, but if I get mild cancer, can I still podcast? Yeah, but then you'll be like, you know, feel good. Okay, but if I get mild cancer, can I still podcast? Yeah, but then you'll be like, you know, like Roger,

you know how terrible that looked at the near the end, how much you must have been suffering. That looked bad. You know, that's all that. Yeah. You might lose a jaw, but I'm not that unmanable or two. Right. Maybe I could make some sort of like,

maybe a fan will make some sort of face thing or something. Maybe you just caught the comedy of like the drawlessness. I mean, you know, take, make tragedy into a comedy. Right. You know how when Chihuahua's get all of their teeth removed when they're like 15 and the tongue is just hanging out? That would be like you. Yeah.

Or maybe I could wear a COVID mask still. And just be mindful about, I could do that, right? I could do that. I could do that, man. Yeah. Who's that guy? Just a guy with that has. That's, there's no way that's a real photo.

There's a bunch of them. This is my last dip then. No, for ya. No, this is my last dip. All right, so we're witnessing Bobby Lee's last dip. There's gotta be a way to just nicotine that isn't harmful, as harmful. I mean, I think smoking is probably more harmful. Yeah.

So, when I was coughing up blood. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. But my lungs, so funny. It's hard. I mean, it's hard with addictions. It's like, what do we do? Yeah.

I don't know what to do anymore, either. Yeah're sober I'm sober a long time now how long seven years that's amazing I just got a year and a half oh my god that's great thank you what did you go out on you at a long time before yeah I went out on alcohol and weed again oh yeah the basics the basics yeah bring it back to the basics yes old school yeah you're going high school yeah yeah I're going high school. Yeah, I'm going high school. But you kind of say something, when you're 50 and you're going old school, it's not the same. It ravages your body.

Yeah, mentally, it's not good. It was just a terrible relapse. Also, today's marijuana is very strong. And there's no strong. And on the packages, it doesn't say only take two, right? There's no dosage, so I just take the whole thing. Oh, so you were, you were edible? Oh, yeah, I would take like a thousand milligrams,

and people are like, I only do 20 a day. Yeah. I took a thousand a day for them. He was like, there'd be moments where he was just like, frozen in the dark. Oh, no. And he would be like, am I moving? Yeah. No, it was like, there'd be moments where he was just like frozen in the dark. Oh no. And he would be like, am I moving? Yeah.

No, it was like thriller, like thriller. Oh no. Or no, you know what, it was like one of those, you know, when the nuclear bomb, you know me, what do you think, call it a, a shadow, the nuclear shadow. I was like, it doing a nuclear shadow. Or like, you were like a victim of a Pompeii. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like just...

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, because in Pompeii, they hit them. Well, okay. People were just eating and jerking off on it, and they... Yeah, and they... They just stayed that way. Yeah, yeah. Imagine jerking off, though.

Oh, so embarrassing. Frozen, like jerking off. I feel like that's a little more heroic than maybe some other things. What would be heroic? Not heroic, but it's like memorable. Like, you know, forever statue is that? I think that one would be totally terrible. Yeah, why would you be even careier, dad?

Like maybe like picking your nose would be like, you know, more or less. Yeah, that's horrible. Or like fucking a gay woman. Well, it's fucking a, I guess, yeah. That's because that's you and somebody else too. Oh, right. If you had a friend.

Right, you're not lonely. Yeah. He had friends. But do you die. Right, you're not lonely. Yeah. He had friends. But do you die instantaneously, like when Pompeii happened? I don't know. Yeah, because they were frozen in that state that they were in.

I mean, I think it was just they were covered in ash and then just frozen. So there's no second of thought of like, what, and then dead? I know. Like, out. And then dead, or is it just instantly dead? I don't know.

Yeah. I probably like the titans of Mercival instantly dead. Oh my god. Yeah. Does that make pressure? Yeah. So I think they probably died before they even knew they were going to die. I think, they do have the recordings.

I think they have a black box. But isn't there, because, isn't there is who's driving it first of all sucked in rush okay there's no moment where he goes uh... uh... i think it they they may have registered something but because they were trying to come back up

i've since we've been immersed in this for days so like like really learning about i've known i'd never been in a submarine so i don't know if i'm either i don't even go on i've had a i've been barely hold my breath submarine so I don't know. I don't either. I don't even go on. I barely hold my breath underwater so. I don't even know. Yeah. Well, now especially we'll never go in one. I've been it's even like when I dive past 45 feet, you start to feel the pressure and the compression.

So it's even at 45 feet. When did you do that? In a self-reliant? I freedive a lot. Oh you do? And a side free dive a lot. Oh, you do. Yeah, so I go on my own breath a lot. I don't use like a tape or anything. But you feel it even at 40 feet.

You already feel it tight. That's so deep. Yeah, but I could, usually it's some of these people, they go like 200 feet. So imagine the pressure. Also, I've been diving with her where I'm on the surface. I flow. I don't die if you're floater there.

Yeah, I'm fatty, you know, I just flow, and I used to watch you, and I used to go, is she a mermaid, what, go, how? I can't believe how far deep you can go, and you can stay down there for three minutes. Not three, but yeah. Yeah, a couple of minutes, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's insane.

Thanks. You have to train your body to do that or what? Yeah, natural. You're fair one day. Yeah, although there are people in the Philippines, they're called a bajot, and they have enlarged spleens, and so because they receive varying people, they basically evolve to be able to hold their breath for long periods of time and then walk underwater and spear fish and you'll see it's in maybe it's in my blood.

I don't know. That's incredible. That's like Sherpas. Yes. They have like that increased lung capacity because the altitude so high. Strippers? Shrippers. Good old strippers.

Good old strippers. And they were just your strippers too. You could hold their breath for a long time. I don't know. It seems impossible. I don't know. I mean, it seems impossible to have your back. Yeah, good guy. On the pole, maybe it's high up. I don't know what they think.

I was a very difficult person. We challenging. Those girls are absolute athletes. Yeah, they're totally athletes. Yeah, it's very tough that I can't even imagine like the arm strength, the back strength, the core strength. The core. I can climb it. Oh yeah? I can climb a, I back strength, the core strength. The core, the spine. I could climb it.

Oh yeah? I love, I love, I love, I could climb a stripper pole. Who can? I've never tried, but I just assume I can. I'd love to see this. How are you with the president's fitness challenge when you were a kid? Were you able to climb the rope up to the ceiling?

Oh yeah. As a kid, yeah. It took me three days, but I got there. So then, yeah, you probably, it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's slippery though. The pull is? I find the pull very slippery.

Oh, yeah, yeah, it might be because it's metal usually. It's metal and then your body heat, and if you have any lotion or whatever are on. You've tried it? I used to go to stripper dancing classes. I took twerking classes and stripper dancing classes. It's a very challenging. Whoa. Working is really hard, I think. Is it the butt thing, it's a very challenging. Whoa.

Working is really hard, I think. Is it the butt thing? It's the butt thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You got work. I've never tried it. Try, let me see. Let me see.

I've seen you do it. You didn't make it in front of Peter Kim. Well, I did it, yeah, but it wasn't good. I don't have the ass to do it. I don't have a Brazilian ass. Don't you like? Any ass can do it. Yeah, I think it's a lot to do with your ankles too.

Oh wow. We can do it. It's your ankles. Yeah, it's your ankles. Your ankles. Yeah. There we go. And shadow your ankle.

That's like fucking hurt. Yeah, that hurts so bad. So I'll let you can do now that you quit. You quit. What? It's your way to back up. It's a new addiction. It's a new addiction to you. So I'll let you can do now that you quit you quit Chewing tobacco The new addiction is working. Yeah

So you did twerking and what else have you done? I did stripper Like no, no, no, yeah stripper workout The burlesque workout. I was belly dancer for years all this fitness stuff um The burlesque workout, I was belly dancer for years, all this fitness stuff. I did a simple manco, which is really hard. The manco looks hard. It's so hard. I can't even.

Is there a lot of arm? It's everything. It's so challenging. It's like the hardest dance. I think that and tap, it's really hard. It's like math. What's the other one that Iris do? River, the Javier one?

The Javier one. It's so hard. It seems hard. It's like math. What's the other one that Iris do? River, the J are you able to like jog with your high knees in place? Can you put your knees up to your chest when you jog? No, it goes to my way. What do you mean? Like, it keeps me. Like, yeah, do it. I don't even know what you're mean.

I'm sorry, you're able to. That, can you go past your waist? Like, I could do that. Oh, okay, yeah. Yeah. Let me try. This is the presidential challenge. It's right, fitness challenge.

Yeah, you're fine. Yeah, you're fine. Yeah, so I can. So I can do a lot of things. Yeah. And so when I see a poll, I go, I can't do a concrete. That makes sense. But I don't think that I could, I probably go up once if I was a stripper, slide down and

now take a break. Yeah, yeah. I wouldn't get allowed to. They don't just climb though. They spin on it and they go up, say, down and now take a break. Yeah, yeah, I wouldn't get a lot to it. They don't just climb though. They have been on it and they go up, say down and they do all sorts of things that you know. It's just pretty incredible. Yeah, I've been there.

I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. I've seen it. Mark it. I remember you saying you were a dominatrix at one point.

Yes. I'm not a good one though, because I am. It's a bad one. I'm so passive. Uh-huh. That's a good one. Really? Do you mind if I choke you?

Yeah. I don't really have an opinion about it. And also, I don't find it sexy. Yeah. So I was really poor at doing it and being a few-sive about things. You know what they want? I think is just mostly to get in their head and try to figure out what they want from you.

But I never was, I don't know, intuitive enough or could get into that space. I did a little bit better later, so like not that long ago, before the pandemic, I was doing classes in Japanese rope bondage, so that was helpful. Oh, Japanese have their own version. Well, the rope bondage. And like to try to make these really beautiful kind of knots and stuff that, you know, I think

is almost like sculpture. It's like a very like macromamol, it's really beautiful. So that was really inspiring. Well, you put the ropes on the on a body? On a body. And like, like this? Yeah. Well, different poses and different ways,

like different ways to like. Holy fuck. Holy fuck. What if that's not beautiful? Bobby like then, the room by himself stuck. I'm just. The key to you from chewing tobacco. Yeah.

Yeah. Until your cravings go away. It's one of those, like, I don't think I'll be able to get out. It's like one of those Chinese fingers. Chinese fingers. But this is actually really pretty. Yeah. It is pretty.

Yeah. It's cool. So I think that I did get better at that. And it's just, I just also don't really find it sexy. So that's part of it. Like the person that does it well is somebody that is turned on by the act of doing it. And I never really understood why it's sexy. I just couldn't find that in me,

but I like the aesthetic. But the guy that you're doing it to, is it a guy or a grotto? It was a girl. Also, you're doing to, she's probably getting off on it. You wish she was like, also we were both trying to learn,

she was just trying to help me. And then, you know, and that was really great. So we had a really good time together. They don't think it was sexually motivated. It was more just like crafts. Oh, it could just right. It's like very craft. It's like very craft.

It's like, color me mine or going to, you know, some kind of like a crochet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was more like, hey, I got this, I finally got this down. So that was more that. Yeah, yeah. Huh. So it was a class. It was a class. Yeah, it was a class. Yeah, yeah. That's an arts and crafts. Art and crafts. And we had an amazing teacher who is, her name is Mistress Medori and she's

the preeminent Japanese bondage master, Missmester, master in this hemisphere. So she's an incredible, incredible source of information. But, unfortunately, the thing that happened and we couldn't go in class. Dominantrix, I understand, but the people that are the, what do you call them? Submissive. The submissive subs.

I just never got that part, I don't think. Really? Well, I mean, Wait, hang on, look at me. Really? What do you mean? Interesting. I feel like our entire sexual dynamic

was that of you being a sub. Tight up, dude. You never tied me up, though. We played role playing where I was like shy. No, I was like, you have to be the same. Hey, I'm Jimmy, I'm the shy guy, but it's like, it was the role I was playing. No, you were a brand in the Virgin. I played Jimmy, I'm the shy guy, but it's like, it was the role I was playing. No, you were a brand in the Virgin.

I played Jimmy and brand it. Yeah, yeah, so I was never like, you were never John the Alpha? Then because when I see that, it's always like, you know what I mean, a black mask and like this, and they're just getting whipped to death. I've never done that. Well, that's more like, yeah,

that's the turn on is just allowing somebody else to take control. But yeah, as in that world, there's all these different variations on the theme. And I've seen some really strange stuff that I didn't understand like, how is that sexual? Like it got so far away where this one guy was like in a vacuum bed and they took out, like, these are vacuum sealed them. So he was like a, like a steak. Oh my God.

A sous vide steak. Yeah, he was like a sous vide steak and- Like a Kobe steak maybe, or something like that. Yeah, but then he was really turned on and he jizzed in the vacuum. Whoa. So then it was like, he was with it, he was marinated in his own sauce.

And I was like, this is not really sexy to me. I guess he was, but he was really into it. And I was just, I couldn't really figure out why this was interesting, but I was happy to just be there. Like, okay, that's great. That's what you said allowed me. That's wonderful. You are really enjoying this moment. And I think that's great.

You know, people have different kinks than why they do things moment. I think that's great. People have different kinks than why they do things. I just didn't really quite get the entry point. There was one guy who really wanted to set my leg on fire. He would do that with hand sanitizer. So spread my leg with hand sanitizer and then light it. And then I would just look at it and go, okay, well then it was on fire for a second and then it was out. And I did not understand why it was sexy. But it's fine. That's his thing. And so then he and I, I, we broke up, but then he was dating this woman who really liked to be in a motorhome in the small closet in a motorhome. Had to be motorhome. Yeah. And it had to be like the really, those, those are so small, the narrow closets. And she would just wretch her body in there and just be in there. And that was like her whole

thing. She just wanted to be in the frowel. Um, maybe like for 10 minutes or something and she would get off on that. Yeah. I feel like that's something you you like being in super tight tight spaces. Yeah, I like it but not sexually. But that's like, I can't move my arms to trick off. I have there's no way. But maybe it's like her impetus was not openly sexual but it's just like a comfortable feeling. Oh, wow. Kind of like in the same way that I like vaginas, you know, that's the basic. I'm old school. Like you know how what's your name, Temple Grandin? She came up with that whole system to to humanely, humanely kill cows to kind of take away the stimulus, they would feel more

corralled and their body would be pressed on and they would have weight on them. Maybe it's something similar to that, so maybe like her the stimulus is shut off if she's in like a tight space. Yes, probably. Something like that where it's just a comforting place or a safety. Yeah, something like that. So I don't really know, but I guess it's just an interesting thing of like, why do people get turned on by these things? Yeah. Well, my kinks are so vanilla compared to these you're talking about.

Yeah, me too. Yeah, me too. Me too, me too, me too. Do you have, what is the weirdest one that you think is weird? What do you mean? Give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, give me, So I like that. I like that. Have you spilled your seed on the ground? Yeah. Like, be Bible. Yeah, yeah, try to calm in the earth. Why was into that movie being there, a chancey gardener, you know what I mean? I'm just trying to get involved with the earth.

I've tried to make love to, I've got a variety of vegetables and stuff. Oh yeah. Like potatoes and, you know, Oh really a potato. Yeah, yeah. I microwave it, make a hole. Oh, wait.

Oh, I thought you were putting the potato up you. I was like, whoa, Bobby. No, nothing goes in. Nothing goes in. Nothing goes in, by the way. I was like, Idaho, Russet. And what are we doing? Maybe like a new potato.

Maybe a fingerling. A fingerling. I've bought in the stakes. Oh, really? At the bond. Is this when you couldn't get a girlfriend? Yeah. Okay, but that's not a kink.

You just couldn't get pussy. So you're creative. Yeah. I mean, that's what you asked me. That's a kink thing. I'm not a kink thing. I'm not a kink thing. I'm not a kink thing. I'm? Yeah. Okay, but that's not a kink. You just couldn't get pussy. So you're creative? Yeah.

Yeah, I mean, that's what you asked me. That's a kink though? You know what I'm saying? A kink is something even if you got, you know, what you wanted sexually, something that you're like, oh, that actually turns me on. I can't imagine you buying like steak today and.

Oh, yes. I think what's great about me is that because in my early 20s and throughout my life, I couldn't get any like zero right that once I started getting it. I'm like this is enough for me You mean I can't even believe like even still today, you know what if I'm a girl I just can't believe it's happening and I'm 51 that makes sense. Yeah, I still look at a naked body and go, this is enough. Yeah. Yeah, that's good.

Yeah, so that's good. That's good. But if I was like somebody that got girls, and I was a handsome guy, maybe the kinks, you know, because you're a bowie and Lou Reed and all those guys, apparently they all, you know what I mean? And they, because they, I mean, I guess the theory is that they got so many girls

that they just kind of want to elevate it, so they just fucked each other, whatever. That's what I heard. I don't know. I think the kinks also maybe, two people are also just born with them. You know? Oh, you think?

I think the people are just born with it, or they just have this inclination. They're just wired that way. Whoa. So maybe that's it too. Because I've always had minus super vanilla, but like I'm a voyeur, but I think as I want to watch someone I really love,

like fuck someone else. Oh, compersion. Oh, that's compersion? Yeah, that's compersion. That's compersion. When you love somebody, when you want to see them have pleasure, that's compersion. Yeah, that's compersion. That's compersion. When you love somebody, when you want to see them have pleasure, that's compersion.

Compersion. Oh, because it's the opposite of jealousy or it's compersion. Yeah, it's wonderful. I'm just like stunned by that. That's pretty kinky. That's not the vanilla. That's what it's not vanilla. It's also very rare.

It's next level. Oh my god, because I always just thought, oh, like I'm just a cock. Maybe there's a cross-wiring of where jealousy and eroticism takes place in my head. But I really do. I feel so horny at the thought of someone I love fucking and me being sort of the assistant.

Yeah. It is kind of, it's that's real like goddess energy too. That's like a very like temple goddess like sex cults kind of like thing, you know, that's a very like weird like ideation of all of our bodies are one body and kind of like we're all experiencing this pleasure and this sort of thing So but yeah, it's pretty rare when people really feel compersion as a turn on, because there's so much in our society that's against that.

A very like, when you have partner, you're like very jealous and you don't want them to have anybody else in. So it's a very, it's an interesting thing. So I think that I still experience jealousy, but my jealousy would step from me not being there. Oh yeah, yeah. But the jealousy, if it was right in front of me,

would not like maybe. Because you're included in the experience. So it's not being left out of it. That's good. I like sex toys. We're gonna agree. I like sex toys too. I really like toys.

That's where we differ. I do not use any sex toys at all. I like sex toys too. I really like toys. That's where we differ. I do not use any sex toys at all. I like vibrations. I've already talked about it, but I like vibrations. Yeah, I really do respect you for that, because when we first met, you had your whole, all your contraptions laid out there. I'm like, wow, okay.

Well, your mom cleaned my house and she moved to all my contraptions and organized it. She did. Yeah, which is, I'm pretty sure she let's clean it up too. Yeah, it's wild. Time for mom still cleanses how. Yeah, yeah.

And she put all of them in one thing and stacked all the lube and made it all nice. Oh, this nice. Yeah, but I'm like, don't touch it, Maritaz. You know what I mean? She's just cleaning it for you. My mom has OCD, so you know she probably got in there. What's so funny because,

since she's done that, right? I clean it now, and usually I don't. Wow. But I'll come into contractions and just got in there. What's so funny because since she's done that, right? I clean it now. Usually I don't. Wow. I'll come in to come to our house and just leave it there and I'll just clean it up before I do it the next time because I know that your mom is cleaning. I put soap in it and I wash all the things.

What do you use like a pocket pussy or do? But it's not just one. It's not just, you know. Do you have a pussy asshole combination? I do yeah, I have that as well. Thank you for asking But I hope so much but I have one is that have suction now and vibrations. Yeah, yeah, and it's really feels so good Yeah, yeah, I love it. Yeah, I love that I have one that is It's a it's a knockoff of the Sibian

which is like, it's the vibrator that you sit on. So you put it up and then it has like all these attachments and then you could put it in there and then it vibrates, but you have to write it. It's kind of like, you know, you put a quarter in it, you know, like one of those horses outside of the supermarket. Yeah, back in the day, they used to have those. Yeah, it's like that, but the porny version. Is it big? It's pretty big.

It's like a saddle. Like a sipping. You've seen a sipping. It's like Howard Stern. I don't know what a sipping is. It's a saddle vibrator. Oh, saddle vibrator. It's a saddle.

It is a little. You can put one in, but you also don't have to. You can just put ridges, or you can just have it like, you know, nothing going in, or you could attach all sorts of different kinds. See, it's like that. So you can have that. Whoa, that's amazing.

So they seem expensive. Yeah, I have the knockoff. I have the motor bunny. It was like half the price. The Cibian is so- The Costco for it. Yeah, I went to Costco. I have the Kirkland Cibian.

The Kirkland version. It's very, it's the same thing. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, I like that one, but it's just takes a hassle as I put it in the back of the closet, so I have to pull everything out. Oh, right. I just don't want to use it. So then I just use regular vibrators. And then I started to use TMS. What's that? That's like when you have like stimulating like these patches that like put on and then they they can like use use it to isolate a muscle and so you do that at the chiropractor sometimes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I use those too.

Whoa. Do you sometimes go old school and just use your hand or no? I get arthritis. Just conscious of that. I have carpal tunnel. Okay. Yeah, so we have the same thing. So yeah, yeah, we have we have. I did, of course, then that now I have, yeah, I have 10 to 90's in our arthritis and car some some measure of carpal tunnel. So yes. Do you really? Yes. Oh, how do you get them? Sorry, I was just making a joke. It's old. It's okay. I'm getting old too. Yeah. Yeah. But it's just like you know you can't really do that stuff. But you have to be more mindful about

using your hands and arms. Okay. Say something that you look so young. That's good. Thank you. No, I mean just you're so fit and completely different. I This is from dancing. And also moving around. Moving around, okay. And then I have many animals, so it's helping. How many? I have three cats. Me too. And this dog you do?

I have three cats upstairs, yeah. Oh, yeah. And we have four dogs here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love them. I love them. Yeah, yeah. So they keep me active.

Well, you always like that? Yeah. Oh, wow. Because I'm like real Audra Ma. Like, you know, when you see that, when you're really early in the morning, you see all this Korean people walking up the hill with like sticks? Yeah. Oh wow. Because I'm like real Audra Ma. Like, you know, when you see that, when you're really early in the morning, you see all those Korean people walking up the hill with like sticks. Yeah.

That's like me. You do that, right? I'm like going with sticks, like a visor. Wow. And gloves. Yeah, yeah. So you get early now. I get up at like five in the morning.

Whoa. It's sick. What? It's sick. I can't, I don't know why. But so you don't do the late night comedy stuff anymore? No, I rarely do. I do do sets in town every now and again,

but it's usually pretty early. Yeah. And then if I'm on the road, I don't worry about, you know, getting up early. I don't, if I'm working, but it's not as, I don't like to stay up late. Wow. I'm not partying, so it's like, no.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Me either, but I just play video games and stuff. I still sleep at like four or five in the morning. That's so late. I know. When you're waking up, I go to sleep. I do not have to hang. That's insane.

Yeah. But when you're on the, do you like the road or no? I do like the road. I do. I see advertisements, so you're going out there now. Yeah, I like the road. And it's great the way that I do it, because I only go out for weekends.

So then I go out and come back and then I have sort of a reset and then I can go back into my daily life here which I really enjoy. But how do you feel because you've been at it for so long, is it different the way you approach the road or is it the same feeling? It's the same feeling. Yeah, yeah.

I don't think anything changes really. It's more, I guess I appreciate it more because it's more like I know how difficult it is to sort of get to a place where you feel really comfortable what you're doing and you feel like kind of like this is a good space and so I don't know, like I appreciate where I'm at. Yeah. So it's nice. You know, also, I would have noticed in the last couple of years and correct me if I'm wrong, but you're just in so many shit, so much shit now.

Like I'm like on social media, whatever, I just see, oh, she's on that show and she's doing this and that. I just feel like there's a Margaret Tso resurgence or something. Is that so? And it hasn't always been like that, and I'm just noticing it now? No, I mean, I'm glad that I'm getting out and working. I think it's because there's more Asians in movies and TV now.

That's what it is. Which is really exciting, because they weren't any for the longest time. So there's more of us, and there's more projects for us to be in. That's what I noticed, because even for me, I'm like, in the last four years, I'm like, oh shit, I'm working a lot.

And I think to myself, what is it? Oh, I'm the shit. I don't think that it is. I think the stuff that we're getting now, we should have always gotten. Yeah. But it just wasn't available to us. Yeah, yeah.

And now I feel like, you know, you know, you have a Zoom call with a director. I'm like, before, that would never happen. Where a director wants to meet with you and try to convince you to do it as a movie or a life. Incredible. Yeah, but we were so lucky that we were able to see, we were still alive.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I mean, when it happened, you know what I mean? It's great. I'm really glad for that. Yeah, me too. Because whenever I see you, I go, yeah, no shit. Margaret chose the shit. The great actress, funniest person in the world.

You're mean, why not? You know what I mean? It's nice, I'm glad. I think that it's here to stay. I hope I'm hoping. You know, it's like, so I get so cynical about showbizes because they were so like periods where we think, oh, it's gonna be different now.

We're gonna see more Asians now. Oh no, it's 100% different. Now it really is. Yeah, I really believe that. It's really exciting. Yeah, because even I had a call yesterday about this movie and they were like, yeah, we're thinking about,

because I'm the bad guy in the movie. But he's like, but he's like, they're like, yeah, we're thinking about, you know, casting this person as an Asian person, this and that, you know, and they're. That's good. And there's no accent, there's no reference. See, I don't mind an accent because there's no reference.

See, I don't mind an accent because that's very real to me because a lot of people in my life have full accents. Yeah. They speak in that way and they're not changing it. They're not gonna try to sound white or anything. So I don't mind. I was doing my act, I don't go fuck. Yeah, I don't, I mean, I think like for me,

it's just very real to who I am, but people in my life are, but yeah, I don't mind the next one. Yeah, I've never mind it either. You know, I just know that some of these younger guys were like, I don't do one. Well, they don't have to. Yeah, they don't have to, which is, that's such a progress.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, because I come from the show business era where it was like you would only get the part if you had the accent or if you did martial arts. Oh my God. I can't do any of that stuff, you know. So. I had audition once where it's like ninja, right?

Yeah. So I show up. I'm dressed the way I'm now and everyone's in a ninja outfit. Right? Yeah. So I show up. I'm dressed the way I'm now and everyone's an ninja outfit. Right? And I think it was like one line, like no or something. Yeah. Right? I go in and they go, where's your outfit?

And I go, basically I go, well you guys can't imagine me wearing an outfit. Right? And then I remember just doing it and they were like, didn't like my attitude, so I just left. And I remember driving home going, so live it. Yeah. About the whole thing. It was like the only audition I had that year.

Yeah, it's so hard. It's so hard. It's so hard. So it's great that there's so much change in that area now. So if you know, there's people that don't want to do an accent, that's great. Yeah. That's real progress. Yeah. It's exciting. But I'm still doing it. I don't get what do an accent, that's great. That's real progress. It's exciting. But I'm still doing it.

I don't get what I'm talking about. I just think it's so different. It's just shocking to me. So I'm glad. I'm glad you're different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then could we talk about Serradi or no? Serradi?

Oh, yeah, yeah. So, because as long as I've known you've been in and out, right? Well, I started going to recovery in 1996, and then I was really in it for a long time, and then I went out for like 13 years. Wow. So it's a miracle that I am sober now, but it just didn't occur to me that it could be a problem. But the thing about, I have a long history of it in my family.

There's a lot of people who have a really bad depression and who have a really bad alcoholism. And none of them saw any treatment. Most of them just died from it. So it's kind of like I didn't have a precedent within my family to seek real help. But this last time I had real help and that was really good. So I think- Well, seven years ago you're in. Yeah, seven years ago.

Did you get bad? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. So I think it was really... And it's hard to tell if it gets bad because it's like we live because the way that comics live is a kind of like eternal child anyway. Like we really don't have to work that hard or do anything for most of the time. I don't.

I feel bad about it. It's almost like that's the problem too is that we have all of this money and then all of this time to sort of do whatever. And then you can become very destructive with that. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've been like last night, I was, no, Sunday night, I was like, I got nothing to do, I'm just gonna play Elden Ring all day. But then around five, I knew that there was a meeting

and, you know, I'm in Beverly Hills, and I'm like, and I didn't even think about it. I just kind of got up, grabbed my keys and I went. Oh, good. Because it's neat to do it. Yeah. Yeah. Because I can't afford to go back out.

And it's one of those feelings where it's like, ah, if I get into the mind frame of like, I can just go tomorrow. I'm fucked. So I just go. You know what I mean? And I generally, I mean, the meeting was weird. But still, I'm always going, I'm glad I mean the meat was weird, but still I'm always going, I'm glad I'm here. Yeah, that's good. Yeah, that's good. It's cool. Do you do meetings

still or no? I just go, yeah, well I have a regular, I have my regular clubhouse and then I go to a very specific ones online. Oh, I so. And then, but I have, yeah, I have a great time with them. I really love them. But also it's like, I have and then but I have yeah, I have a great time with them. I really love them But also it's like I have to understand that all this is what I do for a living Mm-hmm. It isn't who I am but for many years if this wasn't going well It would dictate how I felt about myself and how I looked at the world Mm-hmm. I would you know I would drive down you know, 10 years ago I would drive down a sunset and see my friend on a billboard.

And instead of being happy for the person, there was always like, you know, you know, that's how come I can't get it. You know what I mean? It came back to me. And I was like, I can't live like that. No. And so I've had to change my whole thing

and realize that, you know, my sobriety and my family and my friends come first Yeah, this is what I do for a living and if this disappears It's okay. Yeah, yeah, absolutely, but it's so hard when you're you know because this has been a whole life A whole lives. Yeah, yeah, but it's also you know, the thing about it is that this isn't really what makes us happy, what makes us happy is a spiritual life. And that's what it's got to be about. And then all this other stuff, this is just fun. Like, and like allow it to be fun.

Yeah. And allow it to not to get too upset about it and to think it has to be a certain way. Yeah. So we don't know how it's supposed to be. Yeah. Yeah. And also, um, and I disagree with a lot of people about this, but it's like, I don't know if you feel about it, but I believe just things just happened

the way they're supposed to happen. Yeah, they do. And it's out of my control. It is. It's totally out of anybody's control. Yeah, I mean, to control Hollywood is insane. There's no way to do it. There's no rhyme or reason.

Yeah. It's chaos, I'm out. Well, to control anything. Oh, yeah, to control. To control it. This is the second time I've seen your dad in a month. Oh, you saw my brother, the other half of my dad. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yeah. Nice to see you. I saw half of you a couple weeks ago. Yeah. So you saw half of my dad at my brother's house. Yeah, and I was just like,. Nice to see. I saw half of you a couple weeks ago. Yeah, so you saw half my dad at my brother's house. Yeah, and I was just like, oh shit.

Yeah, yeah. And like, I was there. I was like, oh, I wonder if Bobby got some of you. Yeah, yeah. And then I see that you know this is the torso and... I asked for the legs only. Yeah, I asked for the legs only. Oh, you liked it, dark meat.

No, no, no. Hey, there was a ghost. I don't want my dad's upper body. Oh, you only want the foot steps. You just get it. Which, true, because in the Philippines, there's like a flying creature called a mananangal. Yeah, yeah.

And it's only the torso and the up, and it really scary, because there's little wings on it. Yeah. Oh, yeah, with, there's a movie called Mystics and Bolly, where it's in the, that's the ghost of the movie. It's just a spinal column and digestive tract. And we...

Wait, wait, wait. Spinal column, digestive tract. And a head. And a spinal column and digestive tract. And you see all the insides. Yeah. This is the mononango. Yeah, yeah.

So that's your Filipino. Filipino's got some weird shit. We also have like a bubbly bucket, which is like a scary pig in boots. Yeah, can he just wear pants? I know he has no legs, but maybe. Look at that. Holy shit, that's real.

You did good by getting the legs. That's ridiculous. Yeah, the legs are by white. Asian horror stuff so scary. Well, this, you know, there was one that Bobby and I watched. It was like an Indonesian horror film. Yeah. That was so dark and dimmed.

Is it the medium? Well, it's the medium. I watched it was like an Indonesian horror film. Yeah. That was so dark and the medium. Is it the medium? Well, was it the medium? I saw that. That was great. That's a good one. That's a good one. What was the streamer?

What was it on? I don't know, but it was an Indonesian horror movie. And halfway during it, I go, that's enough. And I've seen everything. Wow. Like we're done. We're done. No, in-cantation is Taiwan. It could have been in-cantation.

No, it wasn't Taiwanese. It was Indonesian. It was? Yeah. Okay. But even if you see a Korean zombie movie, they just move different. Yeah, they're so very... They're more, you know what I mean?

They're more this, you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, they arch their back more, they're faster. Yeah. Also, they're Asian, so they think more. They're... I'm gonna go around this world. Because they eat so many brains.

They eat so many brains. Alright, yeah, they eat a lot of brains. But, um, with chopsticks. I haven't seen it that many Indonesia. It's like one long noodle. I haven't seen that many Indonesian. Yeah. Scary ones.

I think it was for sure Southeast Asian. So it was a tie or maybe tie. Yeah. But maybe the folk lore in Asian countries are scarier. Well, don't you think it's also based on the animals that are there? Yeah. Right.

What do you mean? We're a jungle. We're a rainforest. So the things that... Canada only has moose ghosts. Maybe. Maybe a fish ghost. Fish ghost.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The bird spirits. Yeah, birds. Oh,. Fish go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Birds, birds. Yeah, birds. I'll guys see. Yeah, maybe. What are Korean mythical creatures? Korean mythical creatures are like, there's like this weird, one that looks like a caterpillar,

but it's a really long, snout, and he eats rich people. And if he eats 100 rich people, he'll finally go to heaven. Okay. What? He just, like, he looks like a caterpillar but with, like, big eyes painted on him. So that- Let me guess, a poor person came up with that. Probably. And he's kind of, that sounds cute.

It's a very mythical creature. Yeah, can you look that up? I've never heard of a Korean mythical creature before. There's a lot of them with, like, the dance, the traditional dance and, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very are killing it when it comes to like that medium in terms of film and television. I think the industry is really incredibly focused and so and so competitive with each other and everybody wants to create great content. Yeah.

And they have the technology to back it. They have just an incredible work force to find it. Yeah. You know, it's like the mentality of the work of like everybody wants to do these movies, these TV shows, these K-Dramas of Music. So I think that's it. But even the writing is next level or what? It's so good. Yeah. I love it. I don't know, but it's quite inspiring industry.

Yeah, it really is. I feel like America has certain, you know, we have like restrictions in terms of what you can say. And what, you know what I mean, but I feel like in some countries, they're like, this is not a part of their like culture or whatever, so they can just go deeper into like darkness almost, you know what I mean? Yeah, also they, I think it's like an industry that really supports itself.

And then you have really strong acting traditions and it's just a lot. Everybody wants to be really good. Also, have you worked there before on anything? I've worked there on SNL, which they have a Lauren Michaels produced SNL. It's every the same set and everything. They play the same kind of music.

And they have like sketch comedy from, you know, these people who kind of look like a cross between Fred Omerson and Martin Short. They all look a little bit like old SNL creatures. Yeah, yeah. And then they have like the star of the week and they'll do sketches that are like all comedy based on. It's in Korean?

Yeah, it's all Korean. And you can speak it? And I can speak it a little bit. Yeah, yeah, there's enough to do a little bit of comedy. So I did a set on there. And they sub-titled mine and then every time people were supposed to laugh, they highlighted it. So they would know the laugh.

Wow, it was really cute. And there's a live audience and everything? There's a live audience. Don't you want to do that? You would be great. They would never ask me. They would love you. How would I, I don't even know how to do it? Well, if you ever go over there.

What? I happen to be over there and then we had been talking. And so yeah, I think there'll be more crossover now that there's more of, you know, especially because also Netflix is making all that Korean content. So now they won't want to have. It's very fashionable to be Korean-American too when you go over there. Really?

You're like very much excited, people are very excited to try their English. That's interesting. Did you not feel that way when you went to Korea a little ago? No. No. I felt like it was the opposite of that. It's changed. It has.

It's really changed. Because I shot a, you know, a K-pop video. So great. And I, but what I realized there, there's the, there's no union or whatever, we worked 16 hours with no breaks. Yeah. Yeah. It's, that's, that's, that's, I dance for 16 hours. That's what makes the difference between what we do here. Yeah. Whereas, they, whereas they, I think they'll probably have more of a sense of needing to do that. 16 hours of that. Yeah, it was so hard. And I watched the Blackpink documentary.

Yeah. And those girls, what they went through to even be chosen, so incredible. It's insane. They are working through the ground, these girls. They're so talented. Blackpinsa, I'm sorry, I'm not. Blackpink is a pop girl group. How many five?

All period. Except for Lisa, actually, Lisa's high. There's one, okay, foreigner in it. And it's a girl group. They have albums out, right? And the documentary is about them trying out for the band. No, how they came to be. How they came to be. They're created, but they also, I mean, they still work hard, and they're, you know,

they're doing acting work too, and they're doing... So, one of them is a... It's so beautiful. Yeah, I think Rose, is it G-Soo or Rose is in a K-Drama? Maybe one or the other is in a K-Drama. Jenny is on the idol on Max. She's so beautiful. She's so good and they also have their own sort of solo careers too. They're like BTS. Wow. So they're killing it. They're so the best. Is the music good? It's so good. It is. It's fun. I love it. It's pop. It's fun. I love their music. Because I feel like you were always like a kind of a velvet underground girl or no.

I like pop too. Yeah, yeah. Oh, you do. I love this. I love K-pop and pop music. Like I think well, it's all, it's just so, so, um, it's also full of hooks and, you know, I just love music like that. Yeah. So good. I like the velvet underground too. Yeah, but I mean, you know, I'll be honest with him. I'm on the road sometimes. I'll put on some Taylor Swift. Yeah, you love Debbie Lovato. I love Debbie Lovato a lot. I love Debbie Lovato a lot.

Yeah, I worked with her. I like her. She's great. I like Sia. Yeah, that's great. Taylor's new album is great. Yeah, no, I listened to it. She's great.

Yeah. She's wonderful. Yeah, she's wonderful. You know her? I've never met her. Oh. I know Sia. Yeah, yeah, I love Sia. C's one. C's great, yeah. But yeah, I get older.

Well, I think for me, it's like, when I was younger, I was like, it's gonna be only be, you know what I mean, Fugazi. Right. Fugazi. Yeah, yeah, but only like DC bands or Velvin Underground or like early 70s punk, like I like the clash, right? But pop sucks, fuck Madonna. I was like, that guy. right mm-hmm, but pop sucks fuck Madonna

I was like that guy, but now bro check it out dude Check check out who I like The grateful dead I fucking love what I Like them to I hated that I want it. I would have killed Jerry Garcia with my hand That's if you watch a documentary. They're so good The documentary got me I was at my a meeting Right I was sitting around with a bunch of comics some hipster ones you know ones with the funny shoes You know, I mean, you know, they always wear the the more reality shoes Like leather no leathery anyway

You know English, you know, and they sit weird and they're like, they seem like rock-s-y music guys, like cool music. And then they were like, talking about the dad. I was like, are they fucking suck my fucking ass? It's so good. Yeah, yeah. Who does a jam in G major for 45 fucking minutes?

It was the time, right? Two minute songs, maybe.. No watch this documentary. So I reluctantly watched it and I one night I burned through it and then all of a sudden I started downloading live albums and stuff and now I listen to it at night and they're fucking. So good. It's so good. We can change is what you're saying. Yes. We can always change. A documentary that I loved that she told me about is what you're saying. Yes. We can always change. A documentary that I love that she told me about is Mimi in the bathroom. Oh, I haven't seen that yet.

It was so good, especially if you're, I just feel nostalgic for that. Yeah. Very specific time. Yeah. Well, Banks was in it. Yeah. The strokes. Yeah, I like all those bands too.

Yeah. Yeah. So I have to see that. Yeah, and like a caranose in it. She's so good. Yeah, she's amazing. She is just my absolute idol. She's so, she DM me one time and I was like, so excited. She DMs you? Yeah, just high.

Oh yeah. Like you're so cool. And I'm like, oh my god, I'm fine. That I died. I'm actually dead. I'm in that box of your dad. Yeah, but did you, was there any plans to meet or no? No, no, no.

It's just like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like

a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like a, like like a, like a, like a, like good. I'm really lucky that way. I don't think, yeah, I never. Everybody's been just different than what I expected maybe. I've also had experiences with people that people have told they're weird and then when I've worked with them, it was the complete opposite. So you never know. You never fucking know. Like Ed Norton, I did one scene with them in a movie once and people are like, he's an actor, actor, you know, he's an actor, actor, you know, he's very, he was like super funny and nice and I was just like, oh, this guy's cool.

Yeah. So you always gotta go find out for yourself. Yeah, totally. Yeah. It's also rumor and all that stuff. It's not real. Never know. It's not fucking real, man.

Yeah. Yeah. So yeah, I like the Grateful Dead and I think I'm open to pop now. I'm gonna get Black Pink. Yeah, I know. What about BTS? I know that's... I love you!

No, they're cute. Well, I'll tell you why he refuses. It's actually... It's not for their music or not what they stand for. It's basically because his mom has a very deep obsession with BTS. Oh no, that's so cute. She makes collages of them.

I love it. That's like, yeah, they have a very strong Audima fan base. I love BTS, I understand. I made my mom cry last time I saw her because I confronted her, I go, do you jerk off to them? If you go, if you go, what to? I had to break a fight between,

okay, so. I can't, I can't have it. They, okay, so we were all in a family vacation in Hawaii. And I had to break a fight between him and his brother versus the mom because they were both like, say, suck, they're not good. And the mom's like, but there's so handsome.

Oh, you're thinking, you sound like a fucking asshole. But then you were like, what about me? Like, I have talent too and your mom said it's different I never said that! Why would I say that? That's insane I would never say that, that's insane! I would never, I never said that I said that, what about me? But I think it's a mommy issue, deep

Like, you feel like, mom, I'm talented too Oh, that's not what it is, listen Okay, can I just say something? I want to defend myself, man And then she was crying in my arms I know she did cry Oh, Margaret! just say something? I want to defend myself man. Just find myself and then she was crying in my arms Oh Over BTS. Oh my god. No, no, no, no, look she was here's what happened Can I tell you what happened?

So you know what she said she goes I just love them. Why is that so bad? That's ridiculous. It's yeah, Are you jealous? I'm not jealous. I'll tell you what happened. Okay. Our phones were linked. You know what I mean? Because everyone's under my little thing, right? So I don't know what she grabbed my iTunes thing.

We're at anyway. Our phones were like, so I was getting every single one of her photos. And I'm not kidding you. 2,500 screenshots of BTS were on my phone. And every day I would have to erase hundreds of them. And I snapped in Hawaii. I go, what the fuck?

You're screaming? I need this guys. You know, I mean, you need help, you know what I mean? And then, you know, I never said, what about me? I'm cool too. I'll tell you when you said it too. Ah! We were getting, we were getting shaved ice.

Not some more. We were getting shaved ice, and this is in Maui. And you're like, what about me? You know, just because I don't have the chiseled, because I don't have light skin, just because I'm not pretty like them, doesn't mean I'm not talented. It was a whole thing.

What would I, shut the fuck up, dude? Why would I say that? That's insane. Just because I'm not pretty like them doesn't mean I'm not talented. It was a whole thing Shut the fuck up, dude. Why would I say that? That's insane anyway. I'm sorry my freaking your dog out. No, but I have to pee okay Should I bring her to the you know where it is no It's insane that's a clip. Hi, oh my god. It's Tyler Valley. I still get excited when I get work. Me too. I mean, yeah, I definitely appreciate it. Yeah, when you get the collar, you're like, oh, I don't get like overly, but it's like,

oh, this is crazy. I get overly. Yeah, I get super, super excited. Yeah, when you get the call, you're like, oh, I don't get like overly, but it's like, oh, this is crazy. I get overly, I get super, super excited. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I've just like, not gotten so many things. I know. So, I know. So exciting to get them, you know. Do you still, when you're on set,

do you ever get nervous like your first day? Sometimes I do. It depends, yeah, for sure. Yeah, yeah. I get nervous, like the, anytime I have to wake up early in the morning, morning like well, I mean, I get up early anyway But like just to like go to set yeah, you know like I'm get scared Yeah, in me too. I get so nervous. I get nervous, but then when we're shooting it's kind of like I have to

Let that go because it's not gonna help me right and then once you go through a rehearsal like they you know You go through the line. Yeah, sometimes I forget like, oh, I actually have a large capacity to remember things and then I get nervous I'm not going to remember lines or there's a couple of things. The one time I did this movie with Will Smith and they didn't give me the script. They Had it under wraps, so it was like it was weird so they didn't give me my full lines before the day we shot and I had a whole page monologue that was all stuff about like I was a police officer so I was talking about stuff that city was doing like laws. Right. I love this. Bright.

Bright. Oh, wow. And he, and I had to do a scene and I fucked up the lines like hundreds of times and he on my side and he just went with it, didn't slap me. Didn't do anything. Oh, what a good one. Get mad. Didn't get frustrated.

Didn't show any exasperation. Stayed in the scene. I fucked up. You said, didn't get frustrated, didn't show any exasperation, stayed in the scene. I fucked up. You said he didn't slap you. He didn't slap you. I kind of went over my head. Yeah, me too. Yeah, I had to go back. Oh, okay, he did slap you.

He's a slapper, yeah, yeah. It was like totally, this is part of it, you know, and I was for years super upset that happened, but it wasn't anybody's fault. It just kind of was like this weird thing where they didn't really script it and then I didn't get it at the time and I should have and I didn't think about it. Yeah, when I did the first Magnum PI, they had a fake mustache on this mustache and the

junk was to pull it off, but the whole scene I had to wear this gigantic mustache on my face and we're outside, and you know, who I, it gets so hot, and I was just dripping sweat, and I had a lot of lines, and for some reason, this was so distracting, because itched and all that stuff, that I just, and I had to apologize to them, and go, I'm just so sorry, and everyone's fine with it. I think it's in our heads. You're really hard on yourself. Yeah, I'm really hard on them and go, I'm just so sorry, and everyone's fine with it. I think it's in our heads.

Yeah, really hard on yourself. Yeah, I'm really hard on myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's hard. It's hard, yeah. But I still really, I love it. And then, you know, I always get really excited when I get a job. And then I like, you know, I'm thrilled to do it.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I'm just for younger, were you allowed to outwardly celebrate, like wins? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were too. What outwardly celebrate like wins? Yeah. Good things. Yeah, yeah. You were too. What do you mean?

I never won. You never have a chance to win. I never had a chance to win. Yeah, yeah. For instance, my mom was always like, if something good happens and you celebrate, it's going to get taken away. So you almost have to quietly live in that quiet gratitude and not like show it. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, I've had the stuff, you know, I, you know, I've had the stop that way of thinking though. Oh yeah, it's horrible. You should absolutely celebrate. Like even when things are, like when I was on tour last week and we were staying at, you know, we were staying at the Philadelphia four seasons. I said, if you ever am Philadelphia, that's the best one I've ever been to.

And I was sitting there and I were looking out the window and looking at the city and I was just like, I felt so blissful and like, just proud of myself in this net. But then immediately what happens is I go, something bad is gonna happen. Oh no. And then I had to cut shut that off. Yeah, I know exactly.

But you know what I'm saying? I take away the joy. When my grandma and my mom would hear my sister and I laughing, they would tell us like not too much because on the other side of that, it's gonna swing into tears. Like just you wait. Tears are around the corner.

And it was so horrible for me to like, I always feared laughing too hard, like when I was young, because you can believe that. Yeah. Yeah. And then you almost start to kind of, like, when something bad does happen, you're like, oh, they're telling the truth. Right. Yeah. It must have been because I laughed three days ago with something like totally. Yeah, I totally get that. But I think, I don't know, like, I don't know if my family was exactly like that. Because I think, well, I played piano when I was a little kid, and I have to do these rehearses,

like I'd rehearse these recitals, and I would be so nervous that it would just be really painful, and then I would do it well, and then we were allowed to celebrate that, because I would actually get through this very difficult, like classical piece, and then we'd be done, and it would be like really exciting. Do you still play?

I play a little bit. I play guitar more now. Oh cool. But have a happy childhood. It was kind of like difficult because my parents worked all the time and then we didn't have like babysitters really. So I had like piano teacher but I sort of had to take care of my brother. He's five years younger.

So I was very much forced forces to these adult roles. Just their mom. Yeah. Yeah. So that was like challenging. But when did the show business kick in? Really early. Yeah.

Like I started doing comedy when I was 14. Oh my God. I was so super young. Wow. And I was really into that. So then I really didn't want to be a child anymore. Yeah. I wanted to be an adult. I wanted to be with the comments. Stand up at 14. Wow. And I was really into that. So then I really didn't want to be a child anymore. Yeah. I wanted to be an adult.

I wanted to be with the comics. Stand up at 14. Mm-hmm. Wow. Mm-hmm. How? I had a class. I was like in a theater class.

And so we did stand up comedy in class. Wow. And then there were open mics. Then I had a teacher in my comedy class who, I had like a comedy improv class. And she would sign us up for the Open Mikes, which is incredible. Wow.

So that, and I'd started to just go to comedy clubs all the time. Wow. And they would let you in and then perform and then you leave, because it's a club. Yeah, you have to leave. San Francisco, right? Yeah, but you could say in the green room. Oh, like Cubs or?

Not never Cubs. I was more the punchline, and there was another club called the other cafe. So that was the main club there Wow the punchline is is still there. Yeah, yeah, that's the great club. Not just great. It's Because it's on a rooftop of these buildings, right? And whenever I go there you've been there right many times yeah many times and the the buildings got leaves on it right or no there's some landscaping on the landscaping on the yeah yeah this is something about that place and it's also the history of it I just love that fucking club yeah I do it it's so small it's so great you still play it or I haven't in quite some time I don't know I guess it is it is like, well, I'm still there.

I think they were like gonna move or something, but I don't know. They were gonna close. Yeah, it's Chappelle or something was like, there was a summer campaign that they were gonna close it or whatever. Okay, good, it's still there then. Yeah, but I haven't been,

I just did shows this ever just go a couple weeks ago, but not there, I was at the Pals Fine Arts. Wow. I mean, I saw you're showing San Diego, you're many, many, many years ago. And you're like gigantic theater. Yeah. You were my first real comedy show. I went to the Long Beach Conventions Center with my best friend.

Oh, that's amazing. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. I like doing those clubs though. Like I usually do a lot of clubs during the year, like I'll do quite a few weekends at clubs mostly. And then every couple of years I'll do a big theater.

Wow. Which is cool. Yeah, are you tired of hearing that you're a pioneer? No, it's great. I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I am. And that's the greatest thing, because it's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I am, and that's like the greatest thing, you know,

because it was like amazing. I don't know how, you know, we were out there doing comedy when we didn't even see other people, like, it looked like us doing it. You were the only one I saw. Yeah, it's incredible. It's really amazing. You know, it's so funny, and I'm kind of getting it to now.

We're like young people are coming up to me and go, and you know, I'm doing it because, you know, me. Yeah. But it's so funny because it's like, I wanna tell them, I didn't do it for you. You know what I mean? I did it for pussy, you know, I'm not saying. I did it for, like, you know, this is, naturally I would just gravitate it towards.

It's great. But it's like, thank you. We brave enough to do it. That's the thing. To be brave enough, and not listen to anybody out there or to not listen to the silence of no Asian voices out there anyway. That's what it is. But it was also much, and we can we admit this.

It was much harder for us. It was totally difficult. It was so much harder for us. We didn't know that this time was coming, that there would be a lot of Asian American comedians. We didn't know. So it was just like, we're just doing, we're trying. We did it. Don't found it just to show maybe three weeks ago

in Koreatown and I did it. Good. And we were in the little area where the comics are. And I'm telling you, I had goosebumps. When I, so I'm sitting there, dumps there and there's nine comics, all Asian. Most of them are people you know on TV, and this and that, right?

And I just looked and I went, it just kind of like impacted me in a very like, spiritual way. So cool. Yeah, it was just like, I can't believe this. This is insane. The whole audience was just like, I can't believe this. This is insane. The whole audience, you know what I mean? It was Asian.

It was just like a whole thing where I was just like, because you know, when Margaret and I were doing it, it was no one. Nobody. Nothing. There would be two Asians in the audience. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

There was like, wait, when we were starting, like, who was, it was Tomaya Otsuke. Lover, yeah. Who was the one that I saw before me. There was like, when we were starting, like, who was, it was Tamaia Otsuke. Lover, yeah. Who was the one that I saw before me. She was great. It's great. But that was it, I think, in the Johnny U. Johnny.

I know. I met him. I met him. Nice guy. That's it, that's it. Yeah. But his opening line was, how do I, you know what I mean? And that was his punchline.

But he was really like the only one. Yeah. And then, yeah, before that, I don't know. You were the first one though that spoke like regular English. Yeah. And also had a point of view that I could relate to. Like, oh, she's just like me. Yeah.

Like an American. Yeah. You were the first one. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah, it's so crazy. It's so insane. But, you know, just like, there was this spirit of man, you were the first one. Yeah. That's insane. Yeah, it's so crazy. It's so insane. But you know, just like, there was this spirit of like you wanted to do it.

You don't care what it took. I thought that I was just going to be like an open micer in San Francisco and that I would have like a business where I would be sending lotion with kind of rain and peach. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You come for? Yeah. And that would, I would do that during the day. And then when headliners came in, I would emcee.

Yeah. That's what I thought. Oh, then that's enough for me. Yeah. You know, and that would be fine. But fortunately, it was a little bit... Do you remember when you noticed that, oh, this is, this might, I might be able to turn this into a thing. I don't, I still don't know.

I'm not, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I think like I just was satisfied with so little that now it just kept growing. I'm like, oh, this is actually getting better and then I was excited about it. So. I think the first sign for a comic is becoming regulars.

At a club. Yeah. So I think the first sign for a comic is becoming regulars at a club. Yeah. Yeah. I think that first sign. So whenever like I'm at the comedy store and like Shepel Lacey just got past. Oh wow. And I was in the back with him and he had his like first main room show. I was back there and I looked down on him and congratulations. It's a big deal. Yeah. And he's like thank you. But I just know that that's a big kind of landmark Yeah, for sure, right? Really good. And then the next thing is probably Headlining a B-room. Yeah, right? Headlining at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, any kind of Being able to have that much time Yeah, yeah, even though you don't draw, you know, I mean, that's hard. It's still doing it

Yeah, still being able to stay up there all that whole time mean, it's hard. It's still doing it. Yeah, I'm still being able to stay up there All that whole time. It's so hard. It's great. It's great. Yeah, yeah, and then get then back in our day was your first TV spot Oh, yeah, yeah huge huge a big deal huge milestone such a big deal. What was your first one? My first television spot was MTV's half hour comedy hour. Wow, and then Then you would do evening at the improv and then comics are alive and then comedy on the brood. And then you would do, I did star search. Oh, and then I did the Bob Hope special.

Wow. So old. And you did all, did you meet him? Yeah. Nice. He couldn't hear you very well. And he couldn't see you very well. And so he was just so old, he was so old. Yeah. And he would do his sets like he would do comedy in the beginning of the special. And they would be able to get one or

two words out. And then they would cut it together to the other other you know get it you would put together a set of five minutes but took like a week wow just they would do like little pieces and so it was all kind of in the editing oh wow nice guy but just super old so old yeah yeah um and Phil stiller was there, so old, but she was very on top of it. Very spicy. Imagine being on a show with Phil's dealer. I can't even imagine it. They're like legends of the fucking thing. It's incredible.

So probably during that time you were like, this is working. Yeah, during that time I was like, you know, I guess this is gonna be a good job. And then I was in Barrest. I was at a party at JJ Abrams' house because he and I were playing piano. And I was, the stage, not HBF, but Bob Hope was on. And I was in Barrest, it was on.

And then, so we said, oh, she's on TV right now. And so everybody made everybody watch it. So embarrassed. Wow. But it was like, I was there kind of like, oh, she's on TV right now. And so every B made everybody watch it. So embarrassed. Wow. But it was like, I was there kind of like, oh, I guess it was kind of, this is kind of a, I think my beauty. That's a huge deal.

Yeah. I also played piano with JJ Abrams. That's also pretty crazy. He was cool. She wasn't probably who he was. He was a writer, right? Yeah, he had had like just made regarding Henry at movie. All right.

And yeah, he was just starting out pretty much. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, he was really cool. Wow. What a fucking life. Yeah. And it's not over. No, hopefully.

No, you have another 30 years. More, maybe more. 40. Let's see. 50 years. Before I get in that box with your dad. I think maybe, yeah, I would like to be like old, like the people that live in Okinawa.

Oh yeah. You know, like really, really old, that's kind of my goal, so we'll see. Yeah, but in Okinawa, we should come, because it's very communal, right? And they don't lock their doors. And if a kid wanders off, he's safe because the whole village is his family.

Yeah. And you, why can't we do that in our society? Yeah. You know, well, we're just everyone cares for... Yeah, that's how I grew up. Yeah, that's how you grew up. And it's why it's so hard for me to think of motherhood here versus the Philippines, because it is such a community effort there.

There's so much support, even if it's a third-world country. You could pass your baby around and to your auntie or whatever, there's always someone happy to help. And that's the key to longevity and a peaceful life. It's a nuclear here, but the downside of living in like multi-generational household like I did is the diddling, like you know. What's a diddling? Like you know like I was like a creature. Melested, but older in my family stuff like that., I was like a creature. I'm a molested, but I was like, I'm older in my family, stuff like that. So it's like, that's where it gets a little bit like,

weird when you're in like, those fucking diddlers did. Diddlers, you've 20 people to a house and stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That, not to say that that can happen in a nuclear setting, but, you know, like, you know. I mean, yeah, in general, like, to keep the, to keep the peace in the house, if you can't exactly say like, hey, this happened. Yeah, yeah know, I mean yeah in general To keep the peace in the house if you can't exactly say like hey this happened. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's so it's

It's Underminds the closeness. Yeah of everything. It's just awful. Yeah, I want to live long too and I'm gonna get a ranch. Okay. You've been saying this for a while, but I feel like- I'm thinking about it. I think there's a certain amount of money I'm going to have and then one day I'm going to look at everyone in this room and go, I'm done. What's that amount that you have in your head?

Yeah, it's going to keep going up there. No, it's not. I have an amount. I think you should get a ranch today. No, no. Listen, listen to me. I'm going to look at, I'll call you too. Okay. I'm going to call you ranch today. No, no. Listen, listen to me. I'm gonna look at, I'll call you too. Okay.

I'm gonna call you. I wanna come to your ranch. I love it. Yeah, I'm gonna go, guys, I'm done with podcasting, acting, stand up, all of it. I'm going to my ranch now. Where? Oklahoma?

Oh wow. Yeah, I love Oklahoma. Yeah. And then I can have my animals. And I'm going to have different kinds of animals like llamas. Mm-hmm. I love those. Yeah. Yeah. They're so cute. They're so cute. Yeah. I want to have a couple of baby cows. Mm-hmm. A couple of baby pigs raising them as infants. Never eat them. No, no. We can rescue some from the auction. Mm-hmm. No, I want to fresh. I want him young. No, because there's like some retired mayor

from like them, there's like the dog. There's no fucking pound for cows. No, for horses. I don't want no, I can't get a, every time. It's like I don't want to, I don't want to damage one. Can I just get a baby cow? He's tired of, because all four of our dogs are adopted. They're all rescued. Well, they're, dogs are adopted. They're well, they're

I love it. But they were the unadoptibles. They're the ones with either behavioral problems or medical problems, but I feel like I want to count with a winky eye. You know, I mean, I, you know, to stare at me weird. I want to, you know, I mean, a baby one that I can raise on my own. Her face says what a crazy person. You do understand what I'm saying. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don start reading. I'm maybe audiobooks start there. No, I do audiobooks now. I wanna read a novel.

Wow. Like one with a hard cover. You can read one with a hard cover. You don't wanna read one right now. No, no, no. I've got seen them in the bookstores. I wanna a hard cover book, and I wanna have one of those jackets and a little pipe,

a fire going. So, starting out of money, you'll start reading. Right, yeah. Because then it's like, I'm on L.A. No distractions, right? And I'll have my llama here. I mean, I'll read the Crawdad book. Oh, wow.

That's a great, great book. They're singing Crawdets. We're the Crawdets. Whatever. The city of Crawdets. Whatever it is. And I open up my thing. I'm going to pet my llama, llama smoke my cigar for my pipe. Yeah, and then I'll end my life

You'll be beautiful. I'll be alone too. No women nothing. Mm-hmm. Are you seeing anybody me? Yeah, well, maybe okay? Yeah, I'm single so yeah, you single. I am. I am. You know, we're not dating anymore. Yes, I am. I'm, um, but yeah, all right, you're single. Yep. Yep. So, buddy. Anything you want to plug?

Um, I'm touring. I'm on the road. Look at people. Look at people. Can come see me at the Niagara Falls, um, in two weeks. July 7th. When does it come out soon? Yeah. Okay. So July 7th, everyone check out Margaret in Niagara weeks. July 7th, when does it come out soon? Yeah. Okay, so July 7th, everyone check out Margaret in Niagara Falls.

And then I will be at the live and live in Ontario. Oh, that's a club, actually the Ontario. Yeah, the levity. The levity there. You know, I'll be honest with you, what date is that? That's the July 21st. Yeah. You know, I'm gonna come. Okay, good. I know, just to hang out, I wanna watch, I'll be honest with you. What date is that? That's the July 21st. Yeah. You know, I'm going to come. Okay, good. I know just to hang out. I want to watch. I want to hang out with you. Yeah, come. Okay. That'll be fun. And then, um, and then I'll be at Largo in the 11th. And

then I'm at the improv in Irvine. That's a great club. Which is a great club. Yeah. And then, um, yeah. So that's for right now. And then I'm after that. I'll be like in New York and stuff like that. So do you ever play the seller there? I haven be like in New York and stuff like that. So. Do you ever play the seller there? I haven't been there yet. I would love to. I just played it last week. And it was at one in the morning.

And it was in the little room, the original run. And it was hard. Yeah. But when I was up there, I was just like, I love it. Yeah, it's great. It's so hard. Yeah. It was so hard. Why is it hard? Because it's like, I wasn't really I love it. Yeah, it's great. It's so hard. Yeah, it was so hard. Why is it hard?

Because it's like I wasn't really on the list. I was a pop-in and then it was just you know It was they've been there for a long time But what I love about it is because that room's so legendary Mm-hmm and just being and being asked to do it like yeah, you know, it just felt like anyway. It was a great Night anyway, Margaret show give her a round of applause, everybody. Yay! Thanks, man. Thank you.

Thank you. Vedea bucă banii ai macabului Cu lumea mă adonă, mă bălă Eu mă buc iai tui