TigerBelly - Matt McCusker & Bobby Gump are Twin Flames

Episode Date: October 29, 2025

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That was awesome. Sit there. Sit there. No, no, sit there. there. I want you to hear this. No, I already know he's good. I don't want to get out shot by him. It's too late. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's too late.

I'll give you a little bit. You put the microphone close to your, yes. I'm not going to take a keyboard seat. No, no, no, no, just for a little bit. I don't feel right about this. Bobby doesn't know what to do with his hands now. Look at this. That's the same part of it.

Okay, can I guess it? It's beautiful. He wants to challenge. It's beautiful. Matt, Matt. Okay, all right. When a white guy tries to challenge me at piano, I get really offended. Yeah.

It's like, what are you going to pull out on Apagus and go quick? Wait, well? Yeah, go back in there, man. God, just fucking work on. All right. Piano off Let's see it Dueling pianos

Yeah That's the only song I have You have warm ears too Why is this so warm My red Irish face Oh yeah Warm ears Yeah your ears are so warm

White people's ears are so warm That's an observation That people don't really talk about No you have Warm noses Warm ears True Yeah yeah

My ears are hot right now Cold dick though Warm hearts You have a cold dick Okay I have a freezing cold My dick's like a dog's nose Is it translucent, like a Vietnamese spring roll?

Yeah, exactly. I can see the veins and everything, all the workings. Do you ever have, like, the grow a frog? What's that? We had this thing in grade school where, like, they genetically engineered these frogs to be clear so you could see their innards. Oh, wow. Were they real alive? Frog?

They were alive. They were just, like, mutants. Wow. You could see all of it, huh? Yeah, you could see it. It's like a spring roll butt for a frog. Yeah. Like, yeah.

Yeah, I was, yeah. Can you see the pancreas? I bet you could, I don't, do frogs have pain. I do frogs have, I'm sure, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do they have bones? Hmm? Oh, yeah, frogs have bones.

They've bones. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do salamanders have bones? For sure, they're spot. Yeah. But your penis doesn't have a bone. It's just blood, right? I think mine has a bone. Really?

I think. Like a little chicken bone? Yeah, a little chicken bone. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a feeble bone. Yeah, it is it can break. Yeah, I have a, I have a fish rib. it's a sliver

yeah yeah yeah yeah you can break so easily yeah yeah yeah it's just blood though that shoots up in there right yeah it is yeah i'm not that's why i've said before like i don't even care about penis size it's just fucking blood yeah nothing to be boastful about it's not even a real thing it's a fleeting it's a fleeting yeah you have just more blood in your penis who cares yeah the day sir you know yeah yeah it's not like a thing if it was like like that all the time i'd be like i'll

tip my hat you have a huge dick right but it's just yeah You know what I mean? But I do go to the spa, you know, four times a week. And late night, I don't know why, but there's a lot of black guys there. Right? And I tip my hat to them. You tip your hat. I go, good day, sir.

If you wear a hat, you're naked but with a hat. Yeah, I wear my top hat. Yeah, yeah, good day, sir. What are you in, like, a steam room? Yeah, and, you know, I've realized there's certain races that they don't. Like, I go free ball. Like, if you and I went to a spa and I go, Matt, would you go, freeball, would you freeball it?

I might, yeah. I mean, I'm getting up there. What are you getting up there? I'll be 40 this year. I would do that with you. Before, I probably wouldn't, but now that I'm... Why? Why? Because, let me ask you. Why before not? You know, I don't know. I would be scared. But now it's like, we're just two men hanging. I know, but I'm not jones and on your dick. I'm not saying you are. You're like, oh, no, no, no. It's not a you thing. It's a me thing. I just be... Right. I was insecure.

Yeah. Bobby's not tipping his hat to me. Fuck. Yeah, I mean, I'm not getting a hat tip. I know that already, but... I have a tiny flaccid penis I would do this My lady Yeah yeah I would do a skirt thing I go my lady to your dick

In the steam I might get some hat In the steam that could be That's like your best dick I think in the steam Yeah I mean Yeah

Why? Because it's hot and humid Yeah It's not cold and freezing You know what I mean Yeah So do you get boners in the steam room Not boners no

But like a decent Flacid state right I try to get half hard Yeah you do obviously Yeah yeah Why do you try to get half-off? Because when it's like, you know what I mean? When it's sleeping, dude, it's like, it's a dead thing.

So it's got, it's not like your- It's like a button. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't want a button in there, dude. So you're not horny, you just want to be like masculine with other dudes. No, just come in there with half-heart. I'm like, yeah. You don't think everyone- The stereotype's not real.

He wants to change hearts of minds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do, I do. Like, God, Bobby Lee's half-hard. What the fuck? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want to be big. Yeah, you want to be big for the guys. Yeah, I want to be big for the guy.

It's like girls get cute for each other. Guys want to be big for the guy. Yeah. I don't get my nipples hard when I go in a steam room. You should. You should. They're judging you, lady. Really?

More girlfriends. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh. I mean, have you gone to a street steam room with your girlfriends and got naked and guys? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Of course.

And do you do a little hat tip or? No, we don't really hat tip. We just like, just plop them out. Oh. Okay. Oh, I don't plop. Yeah. Other people plop.

Yeah. It'd be nice. It's interesting to go to a steamer with other female comics. Yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can you expound? Like, what would you do? I like to spit.

Because it wouldn't be sexual. It would be, I think it would be a riot. Right? You should require. Like, Whitney, your ariolers are so big. Whoa, I didn't know. Yeah, look at that bush. Fortune?

Yeah, but not in a sexual way. Put him in a big, friendly headlock. Yeah. Yeah. No older brother, headlock? Yeah, yeah. Oh, damn, that's true. Grew up, Bester.

Yeah. I mean, that wouldn't be fun. That wouldn't be fun? That would be a blast. Jessica Kirsten in there? Yeah. Oh, my God. She would probably do something like the character in there, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good time. It's giving a massage. You've got a boyfriend or whatever? Yeah. Have you ever seen Shane's? Shane's penis? Yeah, for sure.

Yeah, yeah. How? Paling around You know what I mean? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's getting flashed by your bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you guys do that a lot?

Good amount. Nice. Yeah, I mean, there was a video that Andrew sent me and I go delete it. I don't invite you to show. I can't show Jules. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why not?

Because she's like my daughter. Yeah, but... I guess I'm... I can show you, though. Appreciate that. Yeah, I can show it. You want to see it? I don't really remember.

I'll check you. Okay. Can you describe to the audience what this is Bobby? Oh, yeah, yeah, it's Bobby's penis. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Slapping that thing around. I think they're like, you're out of water.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. When you're with the boys, you do stuff like that. So is it like every hour that you're doing it, or is it just like when the time is right? No, it's a seasonal, like, Martin Luther King Day or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a holiday. Annually?

Yeah, it's an annual holiday. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's just like, you know. It's instinctual. It is, you're right. You're absolutely right. You can't put it, you know.

Would you guys shower together? No. Why not? Well, what kind of shower? Prison? Yeah. Yeah. No, just like, oh, I got a shower.

You just come with me. Girls do that, right? Like boys. Just boys being boys. No, you draw the line there. Why? Sharras aren't big enough. You know, you'd be against each other.

How about it was a big shower, though? You're like, we could easily get two dudes here. Only if you play sports first. Okay. I'd have to leave it out on the field. Yeah, yeah. Otherwise, like, I don't deserve it. A batminton?

Yeah. Yeah. A little Batman, yeah, I would... Five minutes of pickleball? Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. I was going to say, but how about if you lost that game? Can you also be naked in the shower with your best friend?

If I lost? Yeah. Yeah, that's fine. For sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the difference. It was like a top-bottom energy. I think it's because I can't, like if Matt and I took a shower together, we couldn't

touch. No. Yeah, I mean, there could be no touch, even of elbows. What about passing, like, the soap or the shampoo? Oh, no, we'd have our own, I'd have my own body wash, for sure. I'd have a little carry Like in college And are you cleaning facing each other

Or like butts touching facing the other way Butt's touching, yeah Eye contact Yeah, it's Bubba Gump Yeah, back to back Yeah Although would you do this Because I can't

Because I have short arms You don't have the little T-Rex arms Right I can't reach my back Would you scrub a little? I'd hook you up yeah I have actually kind of short arms too Yeah I have a little kind of

tending going on to my elbow so I actually have a hard time. Yeah, I would scrub very neatly. I appreciate that. And I would even go, is this good? Oh, no, no, what I would say is. No, is pressure, is the pressure good? But the way he said it was like, I'll hook you up,

which makes it less, but if you're like, is the pressure good? That's considerate. That's considerate. What are you talking about? Okay. Yeah, because what if he just does one little area? It's like, spread it around, dude. Spread it around.

Spread it, dude. I want my whole backwash. Right? And my wiener. What? What? You wouldn't have to do my neck because I can reach my neck. Yeah.

I would be very specific. Yeah, for sure. Yeah. As you should. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, if you drop the soap, would you pick it up? I'd crouch. I'd cry out with my wife.

I like crouch like prison. If I dropped the show, because I wouldn't want you to crouch in front of me. She plays too much, dude. Yeah, she'll goose me. If I bend over for the soap, I'll get goose. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. I'll, like, kind of do a squat, grab it.

Knees bent, right? so you're going down like, you can't just go straight leg down. Oh. What do you mean straight? Like a hinge? Like a bow. Yeah, like a bow. Oh, hell no, man. Then I'm exposed. That's the whole point of plotting, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. I think I'll bow for you. But it's because I'm Asian. Oh, it's a cultural. Yeah, there's no soap being dropped. I would do a frontal bow like, ooh. That would be so nice. I would return it. Would you really? I mean, only if it's okay. Yeah, it is

I might even break you off than a young S.A.O. too. Oh, whoa. Oh, dude. A cultured guy. You're a pretty cultured guy coming from the farmlands. There are no Asians in the farmlands where you're from. Not a single one. Yeah. What farmlands did you grew up in?

It wasn't super rural. I grew up in Garnet Valley in Delaware County. So when I moved out there, it was kind of rural. And then they built a bunch of neighborhoods out there. Yeah. But look at her right here. Yeah. Were there people that look like that?

Just one? Just one. And what did you do? Nothing. What'd you do, Matt? Nothing. I swear to God, we were chill. Oh, really? Yeah.

You wouldn't say hi to that person. Yes, I was a friendly little boy. Yeah. And I'm believe it or not, I was, uh, look, I'm not toot in my own horn. I was way against my own time on race relations as a young kid. I just, dude, I just, you know, I was just chill like that. I never had, you know, I had a Mexican girlfriend in seventh grade. Whoa, that's fucking ahead of its time.

You know, talking in 90s, man. in Delaware you said in Delaware County in Pennsylvania I'm right next to Delaware so I'm not tuning my horn you know you all have our weaknesses but I have yeah in terms of race I'm absolutely flawless record

wow oh let me okay let's explore then okay did you have a flawless record when it comes to sexual things what do you mean like gay the gays

oh interesting I've never bullied a gay person in person ever dude yeah yeah I swear to God I was I was nice there was a very gay kid on my bus in high school and I was very very nice at this person oh you are

yeah very sweet like in one way which is nice good morning no yeah I was like good morning how you're doing I'd be like yo you're looking good I would pump him up I'd be like oh wow yeah yeah yeah lush he was a sweet boy and did he ever go you want to hang out yeah over the weekend now would have beat his No, I was actually

I got bullied for my older brothers So like I was a little bit of a bully in grade school But I never I never wanted to like take it to a point Where I was like really hurting someone's feeling Yeah, yeah, yeah I'd like to tease people here and there But if I knew someone was upset I would stop right away

Who did you bully usually? Filipino What, women? Philippino I didn't bully women Okay I didn't bully women It was just like you know

I don't know if whoever appeared weak to me I would just pray upon them. And then, like, you know what I mean? Like, there was one kid that cried a lot. Yeah. So one year he was a trash can for Halloween in school. So he had a trash can over his head. Oh, that's rough.

So we couldn't see us coming, and we just smacked them as hard as we could and knocked them over and kicked them on the ground. What race was he? He's a white boy. Yeah, you can do it with the white. Yeah, so the white boy. Yeah, but it was just, you know.

But again, if someone was, like, genuinely upset, I would always be like, hey, it's all good. You know what I mean? I grew up getting, I got, like, stuffed in a refrigerator. My brothers used to put me in a truck tire roll me down the hill. Oh, yeah. Yeah, dude, I got my head all smurged in the toilet. I got my ass kicked when I was younger. I got stuck in the locker for two periods. No. Yeah, yeah. Did you really? Yeah, two periods. Did you put yourself in there? No. Oh. Yeah. Some guy just stuffed me

in there. For real? Yeah. How'd you get out? How did you last? You didn't scream in there? Yeah, well, screaming. How'd you get out? Yeah. What? How'd you get out? You know, sneaky. You know, you know, remember Ocean's 11? Oh, you're like the Asian guy. At the Blasio. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I ocean 11 it. You've been back a lip? I did flips, you know what I mean? You know what I mean?

I did all kinds of stuff to get out of them. Wow. Yeah. No, I was cool, man. I was, I was, I was a bit of... Would you, would have been friends in high school? I'm telling you, I was so chill. No, but I'm not like, come over and spend the night, kind of like, let's do a sleepover.

No, I'm not... Let's shower together. No, no, not shower together, but like... Sleepover? Like, as kids, you would have sleepovers, right? Yeah, but it all depends. Like, if you were, like, I was friends with people, I went to grade school. with. So if you had locked in with me in like first grade, we would have definitely had

sleepovers. But if you came up to me like, I didn't know you and you came up to high school and you're like, yeah, let's have a sleeper. I know. 16, never met you before. I think our sleepers were, we'd make fortresses. Oh, for sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You were to stay it up all night. Yeah, with the, with sheets, got the couches together, build a little fortress. You mean? Do a little accents. Hello, mate. That'd be fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'd be fun. Welcome to our kingdom. Parents are coming and be like, keep it down in there. Yeah, yeah. Why you naked? Get off of each other

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Wherever you call home by going to jointbilt.com slash belly. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-T.com slash belly. Make sure use our URL so they know we sent you. Get Built. Get off of each other. Yeah. I mean, as a kid, there was one kid that was a little sexual with me. Really?

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah. Were you into it? What? Were you into it? What do you mean? What did you say to him?

Like, did you like him too? No, I didn't like it. But I was also like, I didn't know what boundaries meant, right? So I just kind of let it happen. Yeah. It's actually more common than you think. I hear about that a lot. I think so, yeah.

Yeah, I, I would, oh. Oh. Yeah. Okay. This is the tip. Oh, no. Did you initiate that? No.

Oh. He'd go, mine. Oh, okay. Like that, right? Then I go, do mine. And you go, right? How old are you talking? 17.

Graduation. Yesterday. I think I was like 10 to like, there's a lot of weird things that I did it with a bunch of guys. Okay. Don't feel uncomfortable. The plot thickets a little bit here. No, from 10 to 15. there was probably four guys that, yeah, yeah.

So how would that, like, come about? That's my thing. Like, where, what would be going on to be like, would it be like, I got an idea or like? Eureka. Hey, I know what we could do. Yeah, yeah. I got an idea.

No. Snacks. It always involved alcohol. Oh, yeah. You know what I mean? And then, you know, because I was a drunk early on. So it's like I would get buzzed. and then

I don't think I've ever initiated it though yeah yeah yeah what I mean no I yeah I don't think you did either yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm saying I really I'm dead I'm dead too I'm on your side yeah yeah yeah I think it was more like you know I mean you know yeah they pull it out

and right and when you'd be drunk you're like I'll tell you can I'll defend myself real quick sure okay yeah you presented this yeah you presented let me defend my own argument I'm telling you that kind of tomfoolery is super common Yeah that's what I like to call it tomfoolery But you never did any tomfoolery

No I remember when I was really little There was a girl I knew who was peeing on the toilet And I peed between her legs into the toilet while she was peeing That's cool It was awesome actually Circusolatia It's pretty funny Yeah yeah I like that shit

That's amazing Wow But a lot of the young lads would do like group beatoff sessions That was pretty common Did you ever do those? Yeah Like, you're in a finished basement. Everyone's got their own corner.

You got one TV. Yeah. Oh, so would it be, what would you be watching? Porn. Like a shit. Oh, right. You know, like Squiggle Vision. It could be the Spice Channel.

Yeah, you know, I did a couple of those, too. Yeah, man, that happened. Was there ever a soggy waffle in there? No, that's just an urban legend. Oh, soggy waffle never happened. Explain to me soggy waffle because I do love waffles. Well, I don't think you like this one. but you basically

you come on a waffle right well last person to come on the waffle has to eat it that's soggy cooking which feels crazy because that guy should not have to eat the waffle when you think about it let me read the definition here a group of males

sit in a circle and jerk off onto the same waffle which is placed at the center of the circle naturally exactly why would it be on the side you know what I'm at the corner of the room the last one to release is seminal fluids on the waffle

must consume it, plus eating a waffle, which is soggy because of everyone's semen. Did you explain that? Yeah, I always heard of that. The soggy cooking game. But yeah, I hear you were saying the last, yeah, but it's the last one. It's like...

That guy should be rewarded. Unless your friends had diabetes, wouldn't it be sweet? True. Yeah. Although, what if you just got like, kind of like jacked from doing that? I feel like isn't like sperm like good for you?

I've heard there's like B12 in there. Yep. Yeah, yeah. I love B12. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I need it Don't you?

Yeah, I crave it Be told it's good, yeah. I've heard it, there was a study and I swear I'm not just saying this to be crude, but there was a study saying that women who consume men's sperm vaginally or orally, they said it like helps depression somehow. I swear to God, I'm not being crass.

I'm not trying to be tricky. Is that conducted by dudes? I mean, there had to be dudes involved. I'm not making this up. Varsallorsports.com. B12. What does B12 do? B12 is good for, I think, general blood levels and energy, like hormones. So, yeah, maybe it is mood.

You know, if you do too much nitrous, you stop producing B12 naturally. Really? If you do nitrous, like, too frequently, yeah. Yeah. Did you do nitrous? No, I did it a couple times. It's not my thing, man. I don't understand that.

Do you ever see people sit around all day and just, like, crack those cans and huff that? I don't understand that at all. What is it? What's the high? I've never done it before. It's pretty awesome, honestly. pretty awesome yeah you just get like incredibly euphoric and you're it feels like your head just is like lifting off your shoulders for like 10 seconds and then you just we would do nitruses against a

wall yeah you suck in right and then somebody pushes your chest like you're gonna pass out yeah right and you would even double the you know what i mean it's like what david carindine did it but in a sexual you know what yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah charred caridine yeah sure you ever do that auto erotic yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah i don't really like what kind of rope do you use i don't even I don't know, you know what I mean? Yeah, it just seems too risky. Like a skinny rope or a thick rope? It's got to be a thicker rope.

Yeah, you're choking yourself, how? Yeah, you're gonna be like mafioso yourself out? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't want a piece of twine. You want a, like, a fat leather strap, I'd imagine. It's an... It's engraved with leather. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And the lead singer from In Excess. Yes. Did that too. What the fuck was his name, Michael? Hutchinson or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He did. A lot of people have, man.

Yeah. It must feel... Jeffrey Epstein? He really committed to that to me Yeah That's an interesting I wonder who the first guy to do it was Who died from it?

No, well like even How do you even discover that? In my mind I would never even think that if you On the brink of no oxygen to the brain Yeah And then you're you're you know what I mean? Climaxing Yeah

It enhances the climax Yeah I just yeah guys I mean you're using one hand But I'm usually tweaking my nipple so hard at climax. You need an x-ray. You know what, white dudes? You know, let me talk about white dudes.

Oh, here we go. Here we go. I'm going to tell you a little secret about white dude, okay? I went out a couple of, I've seen a couple of girls, right? That was also dating another comic who was a white guy. And they both told me. Oh, I know exactly what you're doing. They both told me that when this person, he's a dear friend of mine,

too. You know how you find information about a friend and you don't want to know it? Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is one of those. Yeah. Where as soon as he's climaxing,

he needs his nipples twisted. Oh, wow. Yeah. So when you said that about yourself, to me, it made the connection that that's white people shit. That's what, if I hear two or more, I'm like, all right, whole group.

I do that, I do that, I do the same exact thing. I do the same as I. You don't write two or more, I agree. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that's it. Yeah. I don't like the full twist, but I'll tell you what, a gentle suckling.

Oh. A lot of guys deny themselves the nipple play, but a gentle suckling as a man. A gentle suckling that are talking like a little, like baby teeth kind of feel or? Not necessarily. Baby, what you're talking about? I don't know, gentle suckling. You don't have to be a baby to suckling. Yeah.

No, I don't know what you're about. Yeah. No, you can't use a kid. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Period. Because you have kids, how many?

Two. Do you have a masturbation zone? I've been trying not to... Well, here's the thing. I've been trying not to do it in my house anymore because, like, yeah, they're old enough where they're going to start wandering around at nighttime. If your kids catch you, that's got to be...

Has anyone caught their parents masturbating? My dad caught me masturbating. Yeah, that's how it should be. Yeah, that's the rules. But if you catch your dad, that would be fucked. That'd be fucking... No, nightmare. Yeah, man.

I try to just save it for, like, when I'm out of the house. On the road. Yeah. Yeah, and then I really treat myself. Oh, on the road, yeah, yeah. I swore it all together for a good, like, six months. And you did it? I was good, and then, you know, just couldn't fall asleep one night.

Back to square one right away. I know because, you know, what you guys don't realize is that release is you feel tired. Yeah. Yeah, we do realize that. We get that, too. I've heard rumors about that, but I'm still skeptical. I don't know. I don't have a scientific day.

I don't like it too. It's just FYI. Okay. I was making love to a woman about a month ago. And after I climax, then she started licking my neck. Whoa. It's like, it's over. The game's over. Leave me alone. The game is over. What are you doing? You know what? Maybe he was around two. What? Had she once around two. Did she climax? Oh. That's known of his business.

He's it himself That's not my job That's not of my business Right She's like Can you please just make me Come and you're like It's over

Bobby's done Yeah you miss it No what Here's the thing Lady Is that I make sure That they do It orgasm first

Before I get mine Okay And if they can't get theirs I don't get mine Oh that's my root Rule What That's what I'm talking about

That's right That's right Old school Yeah Yeah yeah Vibrating egg at dinner Yeah Yeah but it's like

Also she knows knows that like, you know, I no longer have an M-80, I'm M-16, I have a musket. Is that your wiener in this situation? Yeah, when you're old, like when you're a kid, right? A musket, you got to load it. You can unload the leg pistol. You can unload 40 times, right? Wow.

Right? I'm 54 years old, right? One shot, it takes 24 hours. Is that you loading the musket? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've never. Off, a jerk. yeah yeah yeah that's can you how many can you unload twice no i'm the same way however when i did

swear off masturbating when i was like five months into that i had one episode where i was like holy shit i might be able to back to back wow i got turned down wife was like dude you're fucking weirdos yeah yeah yeah i'm good on that but yeah yeah i was just so proud i was like holy shit i can actually that's crazy yeah maybe that's now nowadays hell no no no no once and that's it one and done chill for a day chill for 24 hours a good 24 hours a good 24 hours It's a good 24. Yeah, yeah. Go to the spa, get a half chub.

Yeah, exactly. Hang with the guys. Yeah. Work it up. I can't even do, like, if I do it at night in the morning, it's not enough of a time. Yeah, yeah. It depends on I sleep. But, yeah, I would agree.

It's kind of, yeah. It's tough. Yeah. But you've been with your wife for how long? 10 years, we've been together. That's amazing. Yeah. And you still find her attractive?

I do, man. That's great. Yeah, we have a, you know, we've been through thick and thin, but we've, luckily, I mean, I can speak for myself I'm very attracted to her so that's amazing yeah so congratulations yeah I think she's attractive yeah I can't speak for her but I think she is you know you know as much as you could be you're very attractive guy thanks man I appreciate that I have doubts about myself but you know you do sometimes yeah like physically yeah yeah sometimes I get pimples on my butt oh everyone gets those really yeah yeah I do I don't I don't either oh you do yeah yeah yeah I've never gotten them

Have you? No, no, no. It's like when you're working out and stuff, you get sweaty butt. True. Yeah, I don't work out. Also, dairy gets me. Oh, do you get me. Yeah.

But pimples grow. Yeah, so, you know, if I'm, like, hitting her with a pimple butt late at night. Right. Tiny flaccid penis. And, you know, it's hard to really woo her. Do you let her pop it? Yeah, she actually loves popping them. Yeah, that's the one.

That's nice. The butt ones? Yeah, wherever. I don't care. Yeah. They scar kind of. Well, you get them? You get them.

You get up another insecurity of my thing. No, no, no. They do scar. They do scar. Is it a pimple butt, not pimple butt, I don't know. Is it a butt pimple? I'm sorry, play on words. It's like the scars from a butt pimple.

Yuck. I'm not looking like that. Yuck, yuck. That's my picture. How do you go? If I see a butt like that, I'm going to take a step back. You're making you feel insecure, too. I'm sorry.

I don't know. That's another white thing. I'm full. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm usually full front. Two whites. And now it's the whole group. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

White people get fucking puppet pulls. Yeah, yeah, man. Happens. Yeah, yeah. It's, wow. It stinks. Yeah. I remember, now you're bringing up a memory

in high school, me and all my friends were in, again, a different finish basement, and we were like, it was a game where you'd run to the front of the TV, you'd show your butt and run back, and it was my turn. You're like, we didn't do any gay shit.

That's the biggest thing I've ever heard. It's literally worse than kissing the part. It's worse. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was like, there was like, I don't know what we're playing like some game day, whatever video, maybe there's music on and people just getting real silly and amped up and one guy like moon, one guy mooned the rest of us. Yeah. And another guy did it.

Then it became like, oh, okay, we're all going to moon. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was my turn and I gave like a real, I mean, I'm not like literally half ass kind of kind of pulled down a little and they were like, what the fuck was that? And I had to be like, huh. Got butt pimples. All right now, guys. I want to show with you guys.

You said that? I was just kind of like, I don't know, I don't remember. I remember just kind of like just getting out of it somehow. Listen, I didn't open up to them like that. Do you get pimples on your face, though? No, I don't get a fucking simple pimple. There you go. The one's going to judge your butt pimples. I know, but I'm all doing that, it's like, I'm not going to go, oh, Matt's

was weird. He had ruined the fun. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish I knew that back that. He's one of those star stickers or whatever. 20 stars on his It's like the universe? Like the Weber telescope? What the fuck? The little dipper? Yeah, yeah.

Full mood. Neil DeGrassey Tyson's there with a... Yeah, wow. So you're talking about one or a... There's a couple. They've got a lot better, honestly. Okay, good. My wife's been hyping me up.

I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. I'm worried about it. Thanks, babe. Yeah. You don't want to go and accutate for your ass. No, you don't. And I'm telling you, it's dietary.

A lot of dermatologists try to push back. I'm like, it's stuff I'm eating. They're like, no, it's not. It's like it is, man. I think it is. It's beef, dairy. It breaks. me out. I think it's something like that, yeah.

Can't stop eating it. Yeah, yeah. I get acne underneath the noses a lot. Really? Have you gotten those? Nah, sometimes. They're the worst pain, imaginable. Yeah. It's the worst place to get acne is underneath your nose. Yeah. What do you think, Jules? I think mine is always on the forehead. Yeah, you have a lot.

You really do. I wanted to mention it, yeah. I wanted to be. I didn't even notice. That's the thing about pimples. I don't notice other people's pimples at all. Yeah. If I have one. Yeah, if I have one, I'm like, this is crazy. Yeah, it's interesting you say that. Yeah, but I like the star thing. I like when the girls have the stars on,

I'm like, that's a nice way about it because it kind of looks nice. But it's so distracting to me. I'm like, I'm only thinking about a pimple when I see a star thing. I do imagine they're gross pimple underneath it. Yeah. No, I don't.

I don't do that. I do. Yeah. I don't. I just let it be. I take them off and I kiss the pimple. And I put it. Then I get my prescription from CVF.

Yeah. I'm getting a girl right now and she has sometimes a breakout and stuff it doesn't bother me but it is interesting that you say that we get one and we think that everybody in the world is staring at it

oh yeah it's so interesting oh yeah sometimes they are though do you ever see like you're talking to someone and then their eyes just like go down to your little like your nose pimples and then they come back up

usually it's towards my bulge oh yeah yeah but I've done that I've done that to you a couple of times but I feel you Yeah, yeah Totally Yeah, yeah

Why do you think you get Head pimples a lot I don't know It says like on Google Either you're stressed Or you're not sleeping enough I don't think you sleep enough Yeah, I always sleep like at 2 a.m.

But it's a bizarre sleep too You can sleep anywhere Anywhere Yeah, yeah What is that Filipino style? I don't know It's always been like that But I don't you guys

Sleep at the same time Yeah, but I sleep in a bed She could sleep I can sleep anywhere. Sometimes I sleep on the couch. Yeah, on the ground. On the ground. Yeah, yeah.

Anywhere. I have a Chinese niece, and she's the same way. There are two Asians, sleep on the ground. Now that's a group thing. How old is she? She's four. Yeah, she's a baby. She's 24 years old.

Grown adult. Grown adult. What are you talking about? Yeah. Passes out in the car. I had a big tantrum. I had a friend in high school. sleep standing up.

What? I had a friend that could sleep like if he, if he positioned himself in the corner of a room and popped himself up like a fucking zombie, he could snore and sleep like that. He's doing a bit, dude. He's doing a dark cat. No, I'm not kidding you, dude.

I would say his name, but he said not to mention his name ever again on the podcast. You don't know what I'm talking about? Yeah, yeah. Oh, my God. Yeah, yeah. Where would he display this at? There's sleepovers. Oh, my God.

He's just drag on. Yeah, five in the morning. wake up and look at any it's crazy he won't let you bring that up he won't let me bring it up people that can sleep anywhere I need to be

that's Dracula it's gonna be a temperedic situation it's gotta be yeah your pillow your pillow has to be right have you ever fucked up the pillow game hotel when I go to a hotel room right and if the pillow's not right it ruins the weekend

I'm actually gonna request a better pillow they keep them you can ask for I bring my own what kind do you like I like a firm, I like a relatively firm side sleeper pillow. So I need, I need some fucking, I need some, you know. Yeah. The ones that are like a cloud. Fuck, bro.

No, don't get me angry. You get it me angry, right? Well, you stick your head down and then all of a sudden you're right to the mattress. Dude, it's right. What is the point of this cloud thing? You know what I mean? Some sort of optical illusion? It's, I didn't know until three years ago you could get a different pillow than like the,

I didn't even know that. I know now Yeah I just want to The hotel right Yeah The hotel I'm in right now It's nice

But it's like The pillows are Fucking trash I dealt with it all Last night I got terrible sleep But I'm gonna go I'm gonna request

A better pillow Oh you know what I do When I go to my mom's house What I go straight to fucking Walmart Ah that's a good idea

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because she throws that shit away I've spent $600 on a fucking temporepetic like thin layer right four pillows sheets the whole fucking thing every time you go to your mom's shit smells like squid piss

it smells like a fucking Okinawa market it's what is it quail egg what am I smelling here you know I mean it stinks the whole house smells like a fucking you know I mean Bangladesh

like poo squid nothing good you know you go to a white person's house you smell a baseball glove that's what I smell right I smell coffee baseball glove right and that also that what's that thing that pumpkin spice

a light hint of a pumpkin spice it's a very good smell right you go to my mom's house it's like what the fuck is this man I hate it it's fermented yeah it smells so bad but then it's so funny

after you stay in the house for like a couple days you get used to it but then friends like girl like I had Kalila spend the night there

and she's sleeping yeah it's a Asian smells are yeah I went into a house where what they were like from Laos I think well tell me about

I went in and I was first of all there was just jars of fucking shit everywhere and I walked to the counter it was the most chaotic counter set up I've ever Yeah, yeah.

And there was just things being boiled and I do remember being like shocked. Wacked by the smell. It was pretty crazy. We had a jar at my mom's growing up. I didn't know what it was.

No one ever opened it. Right? It was the color of, it was orange bog water. Okay? And then you would tap on it, right? And the little eyeball would float her up. Like eye of nude.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was crazy with the, blah, blah, eyeball, you know what I mean? No one ever opened it. It stayed in my house for 10 years, right? I never asked, like, what is it? You know what I mean? But it's like, it was like Asian houses.

It's like a lava lamp. Asian houses have a real distinct smell. You know what I mean? Yeah. What did your house smell like? I don't know. It's hard for me to say because it's like, it just didn't smell like anything to me.

Right. But I feel like it was just smelled like laundry detergent. That's the thing. I always smell people's detergent. That's worse. People's houses do have a distinct smell because we moved to a new house two years ago and I'm starting to smell

like I haven't broken in that house to my family smell yet because I still smell like the other family everything smells like a different family Oh interesting What do you mean? I don't know I don't think we've like If I walk into my parents house

I'm like yep this is a smell of my family Yeah I'm in this house and I'm like this isn't us We're still battling the smell of the previous Of the previous family Yeah It's like when you go to a charity shop And you put their old shirt on

Yeah exactly yeah Thrift shop you put the shirt on You wash it first Were you fucking nasty bastard I see, I don't do that. Somebody could have died in it. No, I don't do that. Wait, if you get one from a thrift shop?

Yeah. She doesn't wash it. You know what? I bought one recently. I did the same thing. I wore it right away. I can't get the fucking smell. That's another.

White people. Yeah, we're collecting a lot. You do that too? Oh, yeah. You wash it. You wash it, right? Yeah. Yeah, watch four or five times.

Me, that's why you get butt pimple. That's why you get a pup pimple. You know, it's funny. If I get a new shirt, I will wash that before. Yeah, be too. A new shirt, I'll wash it before. Why? It's like fucking factory chemicals and shit on it.

I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels really like harsh. Yeah, exactly. But if someone's worn it or, you know, If a homeless guy's worn it. Yeah, if a guy's dyed in it, I'm like, all right. I could trust it.

He's passing the torch. Yeah, yeah. I don't know why. If I ate a brand new shirt, I'm like, get that, put that in the wash. So your house smells like a different family's house. Yeah. Do you know what color of the family was? I'm being respectful.

I think I'm living in like a Jew smell. In a nice way, in a nice way. It's a good smell, but I think... What is it a smell like? I can't describe it. Yeah, yeah. I'm guessing... Like a bank?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, like, in a good way. In a good way, yeah, yeah, I just, I told my wife, I said, I think there's, you know, we've got to take this juice smell over with him. Right. Gentile, I want to get Gentiles. Oh, so you, because your wife... Chetal's... Oh, Gentile, you want to check the smell.

Chet's house Because it's funny Your wife and you Come from different smells Yeah In your life Oh this is gonna be good My wife's black

Yes? Yeah Yeah yeah That's what I thought you were alluding to No I didn't know she was black Yeah Yeah yeah yeah Well Still that's different smells

It's not at all Everyone has it we just talked about Yeah yeah yeah yeah Yeah Yeah so you guys come from Different smells Yeah Right

Mm-hmm Now that Now that it knows she's black You got a power through it's You got a power through brother You know right like you got You know your smell You know what I mean

It's like you know what I mean Black people have a lot of Grilled chicken Wet dog That's yeah yeah Grilled chicken fried chicken Yeah that's where I was going Oh sorry sorry

But you stick the joke Yeah well but No but what I'm saying This is that, aside from, take the, what do I get it? He's panicked. There's an understanding, you know what I mean? Beautiful family.

Thank you. But you guys bring different smells together, and it creates your own smell. Yeah. Yeah, what is the smell, do you think? You don't know, you can't tell, you can't tell. Again, it's like, you know, it's like a fish and water. I can't say, I'm in it all the time. Right.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Maybe like a Bubba Gump restaurant. Oh, I see. I see.

I see the combination. Like a Bubba Gump restaurant. Yeah. Yeah, because of... We know why. Yeah, we know why. We know why, you said. It's for us.

Oh, okay. With friends with, you know what I mean? And together, they create the business together, right? It smells like a giant shrimp boat. Lieutenant Dan's there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. What a poor death.

Yeah. Yeah, but you know what? Wait, how does he die in that movie? I don't think he died. He dies on the field. No, he doesn't. They bring him in and he fucking has sex with the hooker. Oh, Bubba dies.

Baba died. I thought you said Lieutenant Diane. No, no, no. Have you seen this movie? Yeah. Yeah. Bobby made me watch it. It's great.

Baba dies on the, on Vietnam. Yeah. And, you know, he, and this is how great Forrest was. He, right? He took his idea. Yeah. Made it into a gigantic business and then gave a lot of the royalties to the mom. Yeah.

Do you remember that? Yeah, I remember that. Yeah, yeah. What a great. great guy for us. He's a fantastic guy. And he invented the smiley face. Yeah, he did. It's a great movie, man. You know what, dude? It's shame about the end.

What? Jenny dying from AIDS, that's what she gets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that's my favorite part. That's my favorite. That character, I mean, people talked about it before. Yeah. I don't like it. Uh, yeah. I was not a bad. Because in many ways, I'm Forrest Gump. Okay. Elaborate. I'm going to elaborate, right?

I'll, like, I'm going to say something, okay? Oh, here we're going. And so when I was an open micer, there was this girl. I'll tell you, show you the photo later. And I'm going to say her name because you get mad. But there's a girl. Everyone keeps getting mad.

I know, I get yelled. That's why you have many edgy. You know, you know. I say things. People get mad. So I don't want to cause any mad. You got the NDA thing. All right.

So anyway, there was this girl that she was hot. Right? She's hot now. Yeah. But back in the day, and I, for a year, tried right and she goes no we're just friends

I'm not attracted to you and then a year ago I ran back into her and she was like hitting on me right what and it's because I became who I am yeah right and I'm like what Forrest made a mistake he went

okay you know what I didn't I go fuck you bitch right did she die of AIDS yeah she died of AIDS after you spit on no what I'm saying is it's a same thing it's like

you know forest tribe was in love with and she had sex with how many people everyone it was 70s every but not forest ever forest until the end yeah finally yeah it's like the fucking notebook I hate that movie you don't like the notebook no it's about a girl fucking some other guy while another guy builds her

house I know but she didn't know yeah I never paid attention I was always fingering doing they'd come to the end I'm like what the fuck is this what's the notebook about it's just a how do you explain it

it's about dementia kind of right no that's at the end but the love in the beginning what is it they just met when they were young and then this girl is really rich and then the parents didn't approve of the guy because he was poor

and then she moved away but then they were still in love but the mom was like no I don't want you with him And then the girl just kept writing letters to him And also the guy, but for some reason The girl never received any of the letters Because the parents reported the letters or whatever But she married another man

She didn't follow her heart Married another man, broke this guy's heart This is like Romeo and Juliet, right? And then what happens? They met again After she gets a divorce? No, while they were still together with the other guy Years later though

Years later Because she saw that Oh, this guy built a house for me and so she went back just to see the house and she left the husband eventually after they had a lot of sex they were fucking oh her and the husband you're saying no the guy the husband was a cuck in north carolina okay yeah yeah so she so she saw the house and then she yeah she got wet and then was fucking see see see see what a guy has to do this is a sick and twist fantasy this is the thing i don't like about it she had a whole husband a

a whole life. And she just expected that this guy just dedicate his entire life to her one day maybe coming back. And that's the sick and twisted part where I'm like, you know I blame him. True. I blame him. Don't build the house. No. Yeah, yeah. Move on.

But he was in love. No. No, no, no, no. That's not love. Let me say something to you ladies right now, okay? And I think Matt will agree with me, okay? Right? It's more math than magic. I don't understand. and you're a little twisted mind

can't even absorb that concept It's more math than magic Explain to me that concept It's more about the logistical inputs And the day-to-day flog Than just kind of this infatuation You know That's not what I was saying

I don't know I was hoping I'm with you bro I like the saying though Explain the saying So math is it's like Some people believe he's the he was created for me soul me he's my soul my love of my life right

yeah magic it's not that okay it's a numbers game you date enough and then you'll find somebody well now I'm against to say yeah now that I don't understand there we go Bobby go look at that life is like a that's great kimchi yeah yeah that's awesome that's great look at those are the Frankie shoes yeah yeah

So you disagree? Yeah, I mean... It's still magic if you found the person eventually, it's still magic. There can be magical feelings, right? But I don't believe that the person you made... God created that specific person for me. You know what I mean? I think it was just a random chance that you met somebody.

Right place, right time. Right place, right time. I don't know. I kind of ascribe to more of a fateful, you know. It does click. At one point it clicks and you go. So you don't think that... You don't mean, aside from your water?

You don't believe in Twin Flames? Oh, interesting. Have you seen that? Have you seen the documentary? Explain to me about Twin Flames. Maybe I need to be educated. Oh, shit. Explain to me to Twin Flames.

Twin Flames, are we talking about the cult? Well, the cult was where I got it from. Read it, Matt. Read it. A Twin Flame is a spiritual concept for a person who's considered the other half of one's soul, creating an intense and magnetic connection. What you're saying to me is, what you're saying to me right now

is I'm one flame you're half a flame half a flame you have to find your twin flame you can pay someone a thousand bucks a month to find your twin yeah yeah the cult was crazy oh that was crazy the gender rea lot right yeah they

it was all I mean it's a twin flame thing so I guess what happened there was a bunch of girls basically yeah there's too many girls trying to find their twin trying to find their mate and then the cult leader was like oh well some of the these girls have to be guys, basically, to, like... Genius.

So all of them became, like a lot of them became trans, right? Yep. Yeah, that's all that whole thing. So that goes back to numbers game theory then. He's like, I got too many girls. It's all about numbers right now. Yeah. But then what happens?

Because I believe in God. Okay. I really do. Me too. And I do prayers. Yeah. And I say, dear God, can you please find me my twin flame? I'm 54 years old.

You say twin flame? My second flame. The half flame. Half flame. The other half of the flame. My trans flame. My trans flame. Whatever at this point.

Just give me a fucking flame. Just give me a flame. Big pussy. Nothing. Non-binary flame. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like I pray about it, right? I'm 54.

Looks like it's not going to happen. I don't think you really want your phone. I do. I do. I do. I do. Dressed up as a girl or just a straight up guy. that's uh maybe well then i'm fucked i'm fucked why because i don't like guys but you try remember when i was

young yeah it doesn't count yeah doesn't thank you matt fuck yeah it doesn't care but what if it is i don't like guys yeah it can't be okay but what if god and also god wouldn't think god doesn't hate hates me i'm this number one enemy right that would be him smart yeah yeah he's so mean of god yeah yeah he's a bastard then. I also think it's against him. I don't think he would do that. Doesn't God not like that? Yeah, yeah. Is he against it? He doesn't like that. He doesn't like it.

But only for you, Bobby. Except for Bobby. Like the straight guy have a gay flame. Yeah, yeah. No, that's a fair point. So where's my twin flame? My other half. You might have to go multiple

lifetimes to find your twin flame. This might be all part of your journey. Yeah, grinder. Chimmy Chime. Chime understands that every dollar counts. That's why when you set up direct deposit through Chime, you get access to fee-free features like free overdraft coverage, getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit and much, much more. Learn more about Chime at chime.com slash Tiger Belly.

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Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services and debit card provided by the Bank or Stryd Bank N.A. Members FDIC. Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Timing depends on submission of payment file. Fees apply at out-of-network ATMs. Bank ranking and number of ATMs, according to U.S. News and World Report 2023. Shine checking account required. Oh, you think it's a multiple, like another life.

Could be. I don't know. I don't know. You know what, man. That's hurtful. Well, it's, you know what, man, you should really, when you're with your wife and your children. Think of Bobby. Think of being how sad I am. Right. That might get round two out of me. Yeah. But no, but really be grateful for what you have because it's like, you got it. You got what, you got what, you don't have it. No, I don't have it.

We fight a lot. You got nothing. All right. You know, empty, empty vessel of nothing. Okay. Okay. Yeah. It's a flicker.

Hey. Okay. Hey. You're in your 30s. Okay. Well, you're in your 30s. Tick, tick, tick. All right.

So don't make fun of me. We're flameless Okay We do fight a lot though That's the thing That's fun though It's kind of fun It does

It's sexy It is It gets a blood pump Yeah yeah Maybe you're my flame What? I'm kind of big up on that right Yeah yeah yeah yeah

Do you want to take this? Okay It's 16 questions Am I gay? Okay You be honest Okay You and I will both take it

Yeah Well we can only do one answer So Chah Chim Chang Chimmy Chim Chime. Chime understands that every dollar counts.

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Today, Chime has spotted members over $30 billion. Wow. Whoa. Open a checking account with no monthly fees and no maintenance fees. Not to mention, access to over 47,000 fee-free ATMs, more than the top three national banks combined. When I was younger, that overdraft fee would absolutely kill me. It would destroy my mind. Destroy me. And my younger self would have really benefited from something like Chime.

I ate a lot of pizza that overdrafted me. Ooh. Pizza will do it. Work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in two minutes at chime.com slash tigrebelly. That's chime.com slash tigrebelly. Chime feels like progress. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank.

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Have you ever had feelings for a same-gender close friend? What's a feeling? That's a... But that's why they word it that way. Yeah, but if you answer yes, you just say, like, yes, you're gay. So let's read the options. The options are, I think so. That's why I'm taking the quiz.

Wait, there's a difference between friendship and a crush. Don't think so, but we're so close. People joke that we're dating. Nope, we're just friends. I would say don't think so, but people were so close, people joke that we're dating. Yeah, that's a good one. I'll go with that. I'll back you up on that.

Have you ever kissed someone or wanted to kiss someone of the same gender? No. Yours is, you did? No, but have you ever kissed someone? Have you ever kissed someone? No, I never kissed. I just kissed their penis. I think it's the same. It's not the same.

It's not the same. No, no, no, making out with a guy is intimate. What about peck? And kissing a dick is not. Intimate? No. No, it's procedural.

Yeah, it's not interesting. Jules, what do you think it should be? It's a smooch. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, I'm not, no, no, nope, I'm not into it. Yeah, not, yeah, yeah, it's our, it's our quiz. How do you feel about queer characters and TV shows and movies? I don't, I don't, I, I don't, I, I don't, I don't care. You don't think you can identify with some of them?

No, I don't identify with them at all. Okay, relax. Relax. I think you do. Yeah, I would say I noticed somebody don't feel strongly. Yeah, yeah, that's good. Thank you.

Bobby's is jumping. Whatever. When someone asks you who you're crushing on, a name comes in mind immediately and someone of the same gender. I make up a name or pick someone random. I literally can't get the big deal about crushes. I talk about someone the opposite sex

who I'm generally crushing on. Yeah, that. Okay, I'll go over there. Has anyone ever asked if you were gay? Yes. People pretty much just. Soob about, yeah, I think that's not me That's not, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

You got to ask other people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we agree. You think I'm gay. No, wait, wait, wait, wait, stop. You think I'm gay? You think I'm gay? I don't know, I'm flavorless. That's right.

When you imagine being in a relationship, what do you picture? I can only see myself with someone of the same sex. I'm not sure any gender, any gender seems okay. I'm probably going to be with someone the opposite. That's it. I can see myself Yeah, the fourth one, the fourth one. You don't think the third.

Fourth, fourth, fourth. How would you feel about identifying as gay? If you were, if you had to. Yeah, that feels great. And honestly, it makes me a little nervous, but also kind of fits. I'm not sure how I feel. That's the third.

Okay. Is that cool? That's on it, yeah. Is that cool, buddy? That's like that. That's fair. Is that a great? Have you ever felt attracted to someone of the same gender?

Yes, yeah, but everyone has, right? Maybe the second one for you, huh? I would say no. Brad Pitt? Okay. I don't feel like track. Okay, so you say second, right, for you? I mean, I mean...

Yeah, exactly, yeah, yeah. You're already defending. But everyone, yeah, I mean, you've never, let me talk to about it. Hold on, let me talk about it. Honestly, yeah. It's Palwell. Right, you've never seen, like, someone like Tom Hardy. No.

I don't, I mean, I mean, I, used to, I used to jokingly tweet about masturbating the rock and my mom found the tweet and got upset at me. Yeah. Oh, come on. My thing is like, I can have, he's an attractive man, but would I want to be like in his arms? No, that's not what it's asking.

Okay. You just feel his abs? Or just touch his ass? Attract it though. That's what I'm saying. Attractive means I want to be closer and closer until we're touching. Is it? Is that what that means? Yeah. Attract it? Mm-hmm. It means I want to touch their boobs. People of the same gentleman. I want to finger them. It's stuck at their clip.

Yeah. Go nope. Go nope. Go nope. You sure, Bobby? Yeah, go nope. You positive. Yeah, yeah. I understand his point. That's a lot. I get what you're saying, though. You can recognize. I can recognize that like Tom Hardy's hot. Yeah, exactly. But I don't want to, you know what I mean? But that's, you're not a track kid. You're recognized.

Unless he's going to offer me Mad Max part two. Would you? Mad Max. Well, it's already out. Yeah, so three. No, but the third one. The third one with him in it. Didn't Tom Hardy like butt fuck a guy? And I think he's on the record being like, yeah, I don't care. Yeah, but if Tom Hardy goes, I'm doing a new Mad Max.

Yeah. Right? What would I have to do? Matt, just suck my dick. No, man. I don't want Mad Max 3 that bad. I would just be like a fucking war. I would just be a war boy.

I would just be like one second. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All for that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How do you feel about James? But Bahala, what is it? Bahala! I would do it right before.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but before we go to the next one, right? Is there any movie that you could do? There's some movies that are like, I don't know. Yeah, yeah. It's a life changer. Second lead of a Tarantino movie. No, listen to what I'm saying, right?

Co-starring, you mean? Alongside who? What? Alongside who? You. Leo first. Leo, yeah. Leo.

That's tough. You. Daniel, Dave. Louis, Samuel L. Jackson. X. Jackson. Samuel X. Jackson. Yeah, yeah. Al Jackson, right? You're the second lead, right? Imagine the

poster. You're driving up by. It's my face. Matt McCusster and, yeah, yeah, I mean? Yeah, it's tempting, obviously, but it's all you have to do suck his dick once, Terry. Who's? Bobby, did you? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby, would you? Bobby, would you do it? One hundred percent yes. That's crazy. Maybe Matt's more into stand-up. How about when you were an open micer

to get a Netflix special? Back when I was an open micer? Yeah. Oh, that's different. Yeah, I'll suck the dick. I would have done it to be, I would have done it to be in a feature back then. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, let's move on. Do you fantasize about being with someone of the same.

I mean, I sometimes, right? No, no, I sometimes transgender. Is that different? No, that's a sometimes. I'll click that. That's straight as hell. Yeah. Okay, that's okay.

When you imagine kissing or being intimate with a future partner, how do you feel? As long as I'm with someone I really like, that sounds great, good, I guess. I can't imagine that. I don't, I think I'll ever want that, regardless of gender. I'm too young. I'm too young for that. Yeah. No, when you imagine kissing or...

This is like the one trick question in the way. You're all looking for the trick question. Yeah, this is the one that's going to sink us. When you imagine kissing or being intimate? Yeah, number one. Yeah, number one. But then it's like... That's your pansexual if you like that one.

You scroll through your feed or FYP. Do you see content from queer character? No. What's the FYP, by the way? Or you paid. Oh. No, I never. You've never seen a gay person on your feet on any.

think. Bobby, that's a lie. No, no, no, I'll go four hillbillies beat on the square. CNN thing. Yeah, I'll get that. Just Fox News stuff. Flash forward five years, how likely is it that your partner is the same gender as you? Not very likely. Jules, what do you think for Bobby? Be real. You know

the women I've dated. Be real. It's a fair point. Possible, but not super likely. No, not very likely. Not very, yeah. Not very late. Thank you. All right.

You have more questions. Would you be comfortable using an LGBTQ plus dating app? No. That makes me very uncomfortable. Thank you. Thank you. Are there a lot of LGBTQ plus individuals in your friends? What does that mean?

Are you fresh? Are you friends with any gay comics? Yeah. I am. Yeah. How many? Yeah. A lot. Mateo.

Fortune Feimster. Justin Martindale. That's a lot. Oh, okay. What inspired you to take this quiz? I think I might be gay, but I want some extra validation. I identify with aspects of queer experience, but I'm totally not sure where I stand.

I'm just curious about the results. That's it. I want to confirm that I'm heterosexual. That's pretty gay. That's the gayest. That's the trick question. Yeah, yeah, third. I'm just curious.

I don't care. Yeah. He's crazy. I think they'll get in trouble if they're like, yeah, you're 100% straight, right? That must be a liability thing. Yeah. I didn't need to take that.

No. I don't think I needed to take that. Yeah, that's probably straight's pretty much as good as you can get. Oh, so I'm going to be honest with you. I don't, like, you know, the things I've said and done. Yeah. I'm not shy about if I was gay, I would just be gay.

That's true, actually. I believe that. You know what? Goodbye, though. What? No, I would be goodbye then. And you'd be like, I'm bye. I would do jokes about it.

I don't, why would I care? I'm not, I don't have shame in my, you know what I mean? Yeah. My comedy, right? In my comedy. Yeah. I'm upfront. I've talked about my gay experiences growing up.

I'm not shameful of it or I'm embarrassed about it. I'm open with everything. Yeah. So it's like, no, I, if I was by, I'd be like, I'm bye. Bye-bye. Bye-bye. Yeah, yeah, yeah. True.

Right? Yeah, for sure. You're open book. You would be the same too, right? Open book, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, man. I mean, yeah. No secrets here.

And if your children came out, came out, how would you? I wouldn't care. I mean, they're girls. Those videos make me cry. What? When a guy in his 20s gets his parents together. Yeah. And he goes, hey, mom and dad's, you know. It's really hard for me to say, but I'm gay.

And when the parents go, get the fuck I lost? No, when they go, we knew this, honey, and we don't care. I feel like they do know. They know. I know. I know. Yeah. But it makes me cry, the acceptance.

It's nice. Because there are some dudes that are like, yeah, hit the street. Beat it. Yeah. How can you be like that as a parent? Yeah. It's fucked up, man. It's fucked up.

Yeah, but I mean, back in the day, I think what it was was like, they were worried did that like their friends then would ostracize them and then that was this whole thing which is still not right. In 2020 not now, now it's crazy. Now you've got to be crazy yeah yeah yeah but like that happens I know that's a lot you end up homeless too you get a lot of like gay young homeless people

yeah they get the boot or then when the parents go well we gotta bring you into a what do you call it conversion therapy? That's tough love that's yeah yeah that's a wild one I mean people still believe that you can change from it? Yeah. It's insane. Yeah. Yeah, it's a tough one. Yeah. Are you religious?

I'm, I don't know. I'm like, not like, um, organized religious, but I believe in God. Same way, I believe in God. But you go to church and stuff? I go to church sometimes, yeah. And do they, does the preacher or pastor ever say stuff? No, they're not like that. They don't do that kind of stuff. It's a chill, it's a pretty chill set up. Yeah, because if

I love a chill church. It's a chill church. Yeah. It's very nice. As soon as they say that rhetoric, I'm out. I'm not, I'm out. Yeah. I mean, also it's not what Jesus would do. honestly. I don't think he would too. Because if he hung with, like, tax collectors and all that stuff, I don't think you would draw the line. You mean the Jews? Yeah.

Oh, my God. The Pharisees. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But it's like, yeah, he wouldn't draw the line. He had empathy for the broken. Yeah. And not that the gays are broken, either. They're normal.

Your parents kick you out of the house. What? That would break you. I know. I know, but I'm just saying, like, you know what I think, you know, I think, you know, if Jesus was nice to a gay person, you would just be nice because. Yeah. He wouldn't draw the line. He wouldn't draw the line.

Beed it queer after he, like, helped a leper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I doubt that. When people do, when people do mean things and, you know, hold up Jesus as their banner for it, I take issue with that. I don't like that. He wouldn't do that. I think Brokeback Mountain was big for the gay community.

Yeah. In what way? Well, it was just like two hot guys, just making out and making it okay. Did I ever tell you, I, uh, I took my dad didn't know what the movie was. Oh, my God. And I were like, he loves westerns too. Yeah. I did kind of, I was like, oh, you never seen this?

Check it out. left the room and he was like, what the fuck? Yo, that's so good. It was a good prank on. Really? Yeah, he didn't finish it, did he? No, I don't know. I wasn't there, but yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But he does love movies, but yeah, it was a good one I got him on. Yeah, it's super intimate that movie. Yes. Yeah. You never saw it, did you? I didn't see that. Why? I just, I knew of it.

But I heard it is like, you know, that's actually for me and Shane's podcast. That was, we had to cut the intro because of copyright stuff, but that was, was like the beginning of the intro was the Brokeback Mountain guys like roughly hugging each other. Oh, right. Yeah. You love Shane. I do love him, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, what's it like with that success right now?

What do you mean? What do you mean? I mean, you guys have a big podcast. Oh, right. And he's also the biggest comic on planet Earth. I know. It's pretty crazy. I didn't, I wouldn't sure if talking about the podcast or his success. No, I mean, he's the biggest comic on Earth. I know. It's pretty wild. You know what I mean? He's sold out Madison Square Garden what three times

three shows in a row yeah but it's funny because I like I forget and then it'll be like you'll be like I'm doing a show in Notre Dame Stadium with 80,000 people I'm like oh yeah God you're like literally the biggest comic right now yeah I like it man I was for me that was like a

because that was like a post COVID kind of development that went on and on and on yeah and it can be uncomfortable at first when you're like because then by like proximity you just I was like I feel great and then by proximity you start to feel kind of like a piece of shit you know what I mean yeah I'll show a photo but but then you're like you know you got to like do deep soul searching and then you know kind of what do you mean by piece it like by proximity well if you're with somebody who's

super successful and you're not it like all of a sudden like dwarfs you in a way that kind of hurts your ego really it's not a real thing yeah yeah that was a good thing look at this photo this is the Taylor Swift it's Santino with Taylor Swift see yeah in you go and you go great bud And there is no scenario on planet Earth where that would be me. But where I'm like, and Taylor Swift's saying something funny, you'll never get that photo.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, the only photo, I would probably be like the basis of like, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? Some black religion. I don't know. What?

But no, I'm telling you, it's a real thing. It's a real thing. I don't know what black religion What the fuck are you saying, don't know I was trying to come up with a name Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I was thinking of bad religion But black Sabbath It came out, yeah, yeah, yeah, it came out weird

No, it really fucking rocks people, comedians especially It really rocks them, man, but like, I don't know, I just like, the cool thing was I'm happy for myself I never sunk because people get resentful And I always was very happy But it forced me to like, all right, I got to stop just being a weirdo And like try to actually do some stuff

Because I was just kicking around Like, bro, let me say something, okay I have, when Andrew Andrew gets shit that I can't get. He does. Yeah. He gets shit that I'll never get.

I don't feel any fucking resentment or anything because it's like, you know, I think his success is a little bit of my success too. That's how I... Because we're a partnership.

Yeah, and I actually do directly benefit from his success so it's kind of sweet. Like, like, hands down. Yeah, yeah. So I'm always kind of like, nice, dude.

Because you're still like, you're doing clubs, Selling those out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah, doing the clubs. And I got, you know, my love. Do you ever do shows with him or no? I'll open for him every now and again.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. It's fun. It's scary, though. Yeah, yeah, yeah. When it goes well, it's the best. Yeah. When it goes okay, it's like weird math

because you're like, technically thousands of people are laughing. Math or magic. Yeah, not enough. I need like 10,000 more people to laugh right now. I got 6,000 going. It's a quality. Which is great.

That's amazing. You do have a lot of it. You do have an instinct like that because I've done big things like that too with other people. And I'm like, I go, yeah, this seems like I'm bombing. I know I'm hearing laughs. But I think technically numbers wise, I'm pretty much bombing right now. Yeah, man. Yeah.

Yeah, you got to get 16,000 people on the same page. You unite it behind you. Sometimes it happens and it feels great. And then sometimes it doesn't. If you can get 10 out of 16. That's good. That's good. That's good.

But it's like a club. You used to like the walls kind of rocking. in the arena to get that going. It's like, yeah, it's... I hate when somebody's walking by with popcorn. You know what I mean? Well, an arena, there can be fucking 4,000 people moving at once.

At once, yeah. And you're just kind of like, fuck, but... Yeah, it's fun though, man. It's like, I don't know. I've relaxed about a lot of that stuff, man. I just, when you boil it down to the basics, it's like, just try to go make people laugh wherever you're at, go home, you know, do your thing.

I would get too spun out about shit, and it just doesn't feel good, and it's a waste of time. I have a new thing that I'm doing in my... career, which is I really, I genuinely don't give a shit. You know what I mean? And you're better. You do better. I don't care anymore.

Yeah. Oh, I didn't get that. Fine. Yeah. That's what they said about me. I don't give a fuck. Yeah. I don't, I don't care.

In fact, you know, you've heard me. I could get out. Oh. You want to get out. You've had escaped velocity. No, I'm just saying like if they, like, I'm at a point where it's like, if they said, you know, it's like, if Dr. Hollywood or whatever calls me.

You know what I mean? Dr. Hello, sir. You know what I mean? I'm like, hello? Who's this? Dr. Hollywood. John Oliver?

Yeah, yeah. And I go, what's so? He's like, yeah. Yeah, kid. Yeah. All of it. Yeah. No podcasting.

No fucking stand up. All of it. I'm like, all right. Do I keep the money that I immersed or I collected? Yeah, sure. Kid. Right? You'll never see me again.

Yeah, for sure. And I'll be happy. That's kind of the dream, honestly. Yeah. That's kind of, that's, that's, that's what I want to do is eventually save up enough where I can just write books and just live like a nice, quiet life and walk my dogs. Yeah. Just chill. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's kind of the dream, honestly. Yeah. I don't, um, because, and you're your young comic cat, right? Mm-hmm. Right. Oh, wow. Is Matt's a book? Yeah, I wrote that a long time. No.

Author. Yeah, right. Self-published a novel. And then I actually, it's, it's, I don't think you can even buy it anymore. I took it down because I'm re-redoing it with my friend, uh, man. Oh, wow. We were rewriting a book? Yeah, we're, like, rewriting it, because we're gonna try to, like, ship it or, um, shop it to, like, a, like, a real publisher. But what is, is this story about yourself? No, it was, like, a, it's fiction, but it was based, it was, like, loosely based on stuff.

Were you addicted to drugs? No, I used to sell drugs, but I was addicted to them. What kind? Just, like, weed and mushrooms. Oh, I see. A little bit of cocaine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh.

Oh, I'm crazy. Heroin. Yeah, yeah. Back when I was younger. But, no, I just kind of, like, wrote a novel based on, like, it was like, that was, like, the neighborhood I lived in. And I just kind of, like, loosely made up characters, like, about a bunch of neighbors coming together over some weird thing. Oh, cool. They all hate each other, but they have to.

Could it be a movie? That's a little bit cinematic. The new one, I think, is more cinematic. This one's a little more moody, moody intense. Yeah, yeah. Huh. And you grew up in Delaware? Delaware County, Pennsylvania.

So, like, Pennsylvania, but right next to Delaware. Wow. Yeah, that's at houses in Philadelphia. I lived in Philadelphia from like 18 to 29, pretty much. Have you been to Kensington Avenue? What is that? Yeah. My first special, I recorded the intro.

I was on Rollerblades going across Kensington Avenue. With all the federal people? That was terrifying. Yeah, I didn't, I'd like driven down there a bunch of times, but like when you're on foot over there, that's when you're like, yeah, this is not for me. It's like, because I've never been there. How scary is it? It's sad. It's more sad than scary.

It's very sad, but it's also on foot. People won't really bother you. but it's like that's like just like Fairmount but there's a part of it where I yeah that's Kensington look at that guy jumped at me

yeah yeah yeah yeah so it's that was Kensington Avenue then I'm back in Fairmount but I like brought a film crew up there and um so fast so fast wow wow

yeah I was ripping man how long ago was this it's like two years two or three wow wow yeah pretty sick but the no the problem in Kensington is like there are so many people

people are visibly on drugs that's my fucking lovely life bringing me up oh that's great that was nice but the uh stand up too no hell not yeah no I would no way but um but yeah man a pat on the butt but um

yeah it's scary because people are moving in so many directions around you and like dude anyone could just like snag you just like grab your wallet oh right right but it's people are usually there's so much drugs up there most people are kind of strung out It's so sad.

But I had like a giant camera in the trunk of a car, so I was kind of like, yeah, we should probably get out of here. Wow, wow. But it's sad. It's so sad. And that was the other reason, too. I was going to be funny to rollerblade down there. And I was like, I don't want to put a bunch of people's faces in the thing.

That's why I was just in and out real quick. Let's talk about your new special. Yeah. What's it called? A humble offering. A humble offering. Where can people see it? Netflix.

Netflix. Hell yeah. That's amazing. Yeah, man. It was fun. Humble offering. Is it out now? Yeah, it's out. It's been out for like a week.

Congratulations. Thank you. Who directed it? Tyler Falbo from Friday Beers. Oh, yeah. He's a man. Dude, he did a fantastic job. Yeah.

Yeah, I got one day. I got number eight. I got number eight on Netflix for one day. Wow. One day. You could bring me back up there. We'll see. Okay.

You could bring me back up? And then how many, because I'm going to do a special. How many shows does you film? Four. I'm going to do four, too. Four is the move, man. I'm telling you. I don't know why people do this one night,

but I actually, on day. I hit my head really hard on a camera like a POV camera rig and I had this whole thing I had a giant gash on my head and they had a makeup guy I had to fucking pay for VFX to get it

edited out of like 100 and something frame Oh it was bad Dude I was just talking about this today My family just assumed that I made $1 million off this I don't know why Yeah like it's on TV so he clearly made one million dollars

Lost money Yeah I literally lost Yeah I lost like a sizable amount of money because they give you money but then they're like but you have to make it with the money we're giving you

yeah and honestly I could have but I like went I just went wild on the intro I spent so much doing the intro alone yeah because you make money other ways exactly it'll sell tickets yeah that's amazing dude

yeah but it's funny my family just they think that like if you're on TV you get one million dollars here's Dr. Hollywood calls you know here's your million dollars okay this is the intro

oh it's the trailer actually my bad it's okay but yeah I did a whole POV intro it was uh it was kind of fun that's cool and with their kids aren't that

yeah the whole idea for that was me punching a kid and it's kind of fun though oh this looks cool first person yeah it was fun the POV intro was cool it was cool

it was cool where did you film it uh Ontario California oh cool the Ontario improv oh hell yeah I love that place I love the Ontario

everyone tried to talk me out of it what you hate that room what you hate that room been saying that for you. I love that. There was a gang fight going on. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. I wanted to do it in a club because that's, you know, I was doing clubs.

And I like had done a couple theaters, but I was like, I don't want to film this. I'm not used to doing them. And that was the only club that I had done before that I remembered liking that I hadn't done that hour specifically. So I was like, that's the only one I can do. My management was like, I don't know about this. Are you sure about it? Even the

club itself was like, he can do it if he wants. I don't know why he would. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It worked out. It worked out. It worked out, man. They dressed, you know, they dressed the room up. It was cool. That's really cool. Yeah, man. Now I got to, you know, come up with a new hour. That's always tough. How long does it take? I mean, I technically have 45 right now. It's just, it's all right. I have to make it better. Yeah. Yeah. It takes a while. It took me like two years to get that, like, decent. This one I'm going to take more time. I can't get even. I'm going to take, I'm at 35 minutes. No, you got an hour. You're fine. You're at a 35 minutes right now. Get the hell out of you. No, yeah, yeah. I'm fucked.

No, you're not. I'm dead in the water. I've never done special before. What? I'm dead in the water. I've never done one. His first one. That's going to be awesome. Yeah.

I don't know. It's nerve-wracking. Filming them is fucking nerve-wrack now. Four shows, though, dude, you got it in the bag, man. Like, you have so many times. And even if, like, for me, like, on the first night, I would flub lines and I'd be like, fuck. But then you're like, I have two more. Oh, right, right, right, right.

You know, before is the move. People do one night, two shows. I'm like, you're crazy. Crazy. Yeah. The first one I did, I filmed six shows. What really? Wow

But you know I'm doing it in a bigger venue So I should have done a You know what I should have done The Comedy Store Main Room Because that's the most comfortable I'm like that's my room Yeah

I feel so comfortable in that room Yeah The theater special does look nice though It does? It looks cool yeah My second one If I ever do a second one Is gonna be at the Comedy's Remain Room

I think Anyway Matt You want to plug anything else Do you have fun You know what could I say something about Matt You and I together We do really good We do.

I was telling you, I just told you on the, before I came, I was I had a blast the last time he did this. No, we really flow good. We do. What is this?

It's his animation. It has almost 300,000 views. Oh, check out, what's it called? The Papa John Paradox. The Papa John Paradox. And then,

that's so funny. Is that you? I'm playing Keanu. Oh, you're playing Keanu? Oh, you know, playing Kianna. Yeah, who's playing Morpheus? David James. Oh, yeah.

Fellow comedian. Yeah, yeah. He kind of killed it. He did, he did all the blan. Black Voices, honestly. He fucking killed it, dude. Yeah, yeah. Who did the animation?

My friends... Actually, my friend's Pat Kane and Frank Edwelsky. Frank Edwelsky lives in L.A. I'm thinking I'm butchering his last name. Yeah, it's okay. But yeah, they killed it. They did a fantastic job, man.

My friend Pedro, Selena, helped me co-write everything, so... Wow. It's a series or just one? I did a bunch of shorts. I was, like, messing around with animation, and now I'm going to try to actually develop one idea and, like, try to sell it. Oh, you should, dude.

that's what they're wanting I have a stroke No I know you're saying Yeah They want it We'll say Yeah

Never know Again I'm always Because Andrew and I have one at Hulu Nice We did a pilot We'll see if it gets picked up Oh nice Yeah

That's awesome Yeah But honestly people keep asking me What are you trying to do I'm like I don't If I can keep things going The way they are now For five more years

You're gonna be fine For the next 15, 20 years That would be How old are you now? I'll be 40 in January Yeah to 20, 25 years That'd be nice yeah that'd be nice unless i get caught in like a terrible scandal

no you won't there's no way i don't think you're family man and also i mean we don't know what a i don't think it's going to do but i don't think it's going to replace podcasting and standout it's not man yeah yeah we're gonna be fine out there you know i'm not worried about it yeah yeah honestly once if i if i i can take your creative job it should have it yeah you gotta say above although that's what i said about deep blue whatever for chess and that thing whoop the chess master's i know i don't know let's just do it as long as we can then we'll you know we'll escape together but

I'll be in Tulsa, Oklahoma, Naples, Florida, Madison, Wisconsin, and Syracuse New York. Comedy on State? Yeah, it's the best. Comedy on State. It's the best club at there. I love it, man.

Yeah, yeah. The best. Well, give Matt a round of applause. Matt McCusker. You guys. We have to do this again. Please. honey, I'm a ma'uolid.

Allong kaya, madone, the bonguedoombolla, show, kubu Kiyya, doi, do.