TigerBelly - Nikki Glaser & The Roast of Tom Brady

Episode Date: May 8, 2024

Comedian Nikki Glaser fresh off Netflix's The Roast of Tom Brady stops by for her 3rd TigerBelly appearance! Also, Bobby just woke up. We chat energy vortex, new places good times, Baby Reindeer, Josh Brolin, rotund white men, Gloria's Child, and Pale Blue Swifty Eyes.  W

You guys, May 15th at the Bourbon Room in Hollywood, myself, Bobby, Esther Povitsky, Caroline Goldfarb, we're getting together for a night to celebrate my brand launch for Ebb Ocean Club. I'm super excited about this. We're going to have a nice night. We're going to have themed drinks. We're going to have really fun segments. We're going to have really great goodie bags.

Go to the Bourbon Room website. That's where you can get tickets. May 15th, man, at the Bourbon Room. May 15th, Bobby and I will be there. Esther will be there. Hopefully George and Gilbert is- You wanna mingle? If you wanna mingle.

If you wanna mingle, you wanna get a goodie bag, you wanna laugh a little bit. You like bags, right? This is a really perfect night for beauty and comedy to sort of like have a little mini class. Honestly, come by and say hi, man. Come by, Come by say hi go get your tickets and we'll see you there. Go get it! Anyway, welcome to the show. Anyone that came to our Honolulu show, thank you so much for coming.

It was a great show. Did you have a good time in Hawaii? Really good time. Thank you so much. It was a great show. Did you have a good time in Hawaii? Really good time. Thank you for asking. I loved being on the island. Here's what's frustrating about you in Hawaii. It's like Gilbert, me, Alex, like the whole production team. Like we're having the time of our lives. Like we're exploring places, we're eating everywhere. Time of my life. And I never saw you again. And you're just nowhere to be found.

Well I'm there, you can feel my presence. What are you talking about? I was there. We had dinner one night and then we never saw you again. Time of my life. Yeah because, you know, when I go into my, when I go to the, what are those, you know what I mean, places that, I don't know what I'm talking about,

the focal points where the energy is. Energy vortex? That's what I'm talking about. Some people call it focal points. Can you hear me? Yeah, you're going to water? Yeah, yeah, but what? You going in and out of my voice?

There you go, is that good? Okay, I'm so sorry, what's up? I like you, man, what a good guy. I've been hanging out with you a lot, Alex. I like you a lot. Dude, but Alex and I, like, we bonded in Hawaii. Yeah, I know. He loves food, that's why.

You guys are both fat pigs. You do it through food. I do do it, my love language is showing people new places to eat, that is my love language. New places, good times. You guys, dude, are you all right? Lately I've been, what's wrong with you, George? You're looking down on the screen,

you're concerned because I'm not myself. I have two kids and I'm tired. We didn't see him in Hawaii either. He was nowhere to be found. Where were you? You left, Saturday. I was back here. You were back here.

So my wife could do work on Sunday. Yeah, yeah. So you were in and out of there. You were there basically for a day and a half. Yeah. You seemed miserable too. I don't know why but you kind of did What are you talking? Yeah, I mean he got the biggest pop-off in Hawaii when he came out and did a little bit of pigeon

I couldn't believe George she hood I like clutched my pearls, but he she hood and it were crushed It crushed show us one George, but please don't no more I'm not an island time right now. I can't do I But please don't, no more. I'm not on Island time right now, I can't do this. Oh God. I just watched a lot of documentaries about killers and stuff. Which ones, what's the newest one? You just had your Hawaii experience.

Yeah, yeah. Wait, in Hawaii you did this? Yes I did. Wait, did you watch Baby Reindeer yet? Oh wow. I'm in third episode, I can't do it. Why? I don't like needy people. You know me, right?

You know, like, clicky people. It just kind of, she's like, embodies my biggest nightmare, really. And another thing about it is like, I just don't know why this guy in the beginning would even be that nice to her. Well, it gets into why. Like, the whole, after. Let me guess. What? Can I guess? You can't guess this one.

Oh damn. You cannot guess this one. Oh, so it gets real crazy? It gets so. Well, can I try to guess? Yes. He has fetish? Okay, his mom was like that? Nope.

Okay. He's also a stalker. Nope. Wow, you haven also a stalker. Nope. Well, you haven't, you haven't seen it either? I watched the first three and it's kind of like, she's the crazy one. Keep watching. Keep watching because it is the most frustrating thing.

What you think will happen actually will, you don't have it down. He actually hooks up with her. I will not say anything. Oh God. I think I'm close to it then. Yeah, but what- That's insane. Do you get drunk?

Please just watch it. Okay, okay. Because the psychology behind like brokenness, they tap into that. It's like just when you think there's a perpetrator and then a victim, there's usually a flip there. Is it worth it? I think it's worth it, because it's really dark.

But I feel like it's worth it, and it's really sad and dark. Mm. Anyway, hey, Gilbert. No, I have to ask you a question. So last night, I was, you know, they set up my, I have a new place now. They redesigned my house. They finally set up my little gaming kiosk area.

And so last night I was like just kind of staring at my screen, my video game screen. And they're going, there's nothing to play. So then I looked up Spider-Man, because you said it was a good game. There's no Spider-Man games. Is Spider-Man games only PlayStation? No, game. Yeah, there's no spider-man games. It's spider-man gets only PlayStation No, it's on the PC. No Xbox. Oh, it's it's Sony and PC. So you can't do Xbox. I don't think you can

Yeah, that's what it is. So I don't know what else to play Replay fallout and live like the TV show. I mean have you finished a TV show? No, but it's a great. I love it Well, that's another thing. I FOMO. What's FOMO mean? Fear of missing out. Yeah, I have FOMO about it. I'm a homo. That's what I meant to say. FOMO homo? FOMO homo. No, um, because I was, so I watched the, um, I was at the Comedy Store because I stopped by Mark Norman's podcast. Okay. He asked me to. Went in there in and out and then in the patio, everyone was watching the roast.

And in my mind, I'm like, and you just see all your friends on it. You know what I mean? And it's like, I don't know how one gets invited to that. You know what I mean? I can't imagine you weren't at least invited. I didn't know how to get invited. I think I'm doing it wrong.

So I'm just standing here watching going, oh, that's for the cool people. My self-esteem is not high right now. I'll be honest with you. But also you hate roasts. It's just, you don't even, you don't participate. No, but like a bunch of people went. Oh, just to go.

Like Pauly, everyone was just kind of in the audience. You know what I mean? Oh, hanging out. Hanging out, you know what I mean? My stomach hurts. I mean, your self-esteem shouldn't be low. He had his headline at Abrea. I saw.

And it was sold out. Of course. Did we think any other way? Did we think any other mental business was going on here? Of course. And the suits were happy. And the suit was all right.

Oh yeah, so we had somebody come out to do maybe a comedy special for me. Oh, done. Oh yeah, so we had somebody come out to do maybe a comedy special for me. Oh, good. And it was a company came out. Yeah. Blew this out. Okay. But then they go, 2026.

Lord. But the worst thing is we were fearing the suits are gonna be these tight people. Yeah, because I was like, I went up there and I was like, because I was so nervous because I was like, I can't do me. I can't do my act. I can't show my pubes. You mean I can't go cray cray? Right? And then my manager and everyone in the room was like, just do your thing. Yeah. So then I clicked and I go, I'll just do my thing. And then afterwards I was like, oh, they're gonna go.

It's too much for us. But then they were just like, oh, we know we're huge fans. And you know what I mean? And that, you know, we love you. You know what I mean? So. Maybe they said 2026 because they know like you need. I write like three jokes every year.

Yeah, I think you're right. Cliley. No, that's not where I was going. Is that what you're saying? No. Is that what you're fucking saying right now? Not too far off, Cliley. You're a? No. Is that what you're fucking saying right now? You're a fucking crazy lady. But anyway, I might have to poo

like in the middle of this interview. Why don't you go now? That's fine. Because I don't have to poo now. But you feel it coming. I see a knock, knock, knock. And I go, turtle, turtle, hi, hi. I need to come out.

Can I be honest with you? I want me to, yeah, go ahead. Is that you just seem so healthy and happy, and I'm just so happy for you, but then it always comes to me, and it's like, you know what I mean? I always go, yeah, I got nobody, you know what I mean? So it's like, it just makes me sad.

Not about you, I'm happy for you, but it's just a kind of, it's a weird week. But you always have me. Not fully anymore, though. a weird week. But you always have me. Not fully anymore though. Yes, fully. Nothing changes. My friendship is unwavering. It's yours forever.

Boom. You got Brown Mountain. And Brown Mountain, dude. You know what I mean? It's the same thing. No, I saw it. I'm friends with Alex because then I can't be friends with you.

It's like, no, I can go around having friends. It's different. You think I just said, you never fucked Alex. Did you? But I enjoy my time with him. Yeah, I enjoy it, I enjoy it. Do we not have a blast together? I had a blast with him.

I blasted fucking murder with him all weekend. Yeah, we were telling you we missed him. I mean, look, you did officially meet Brown Mountain. Brown Mountain, here I come. Climbing your mountain face. I can't believe you got that moment on camera too when they met. Like you could see my face like visibly like uncomfortable.

Cause I wasn't sure. How nice was I? How nice was he? Me though. He's a nice guy. I already knew he was he? Me, though. He's a nice guy. I already knew he was a nice guy, you're right, but for me, I'm like. That is a good point.

It had to, I mean, you have to understand how I felt a month ago. Yeah. And so for me to get to that place, I was like, oh, I'm an adult. Yeah. I'm growing, you know what I mean? So anyway, I gotta get my head right

because this woman, this lady, this friend, my friend, I don't even get it, man. I love her so much. No, because I saw her on The Rose, she's killing it live. She's killing it live. Beyond Murder. Killing it live, Fuckboy Island, other shows. No, that's not the new one.

Fuckboy Island is in the past. What's the one new one the one other one? What's the new one the one on CW CW? Yeah? She's new one new one lovers in paradise lovers in paradise lovers and liars She's a dead she's moved on to another one like this all the everything everything man, and you know here's what bothers me about her She said everything. Everything, man. And here's what bothers me about her. I'm sorry, you gotta comment a second, hold on. What bothers me about her is that everyone seems to love her.

Everyone. I've never heard a bad word. No one say, once in a while you'll go, someone will go, I don't like so and so. But you don't get this from her. And then you you're like oh, then I want to be her enemy She's got to have one and then when I see her I'm like I love her Nikki Glazer give her a round of applause Lovers and liars

Look at her you sit there if you want to I don't know It burns I love you You're a liar. Look at her, you sit there if you want to. I will. All of you. Hey! It burns! I love you. Thank you, it does burn. How was it last night? It was so fun.

Hi. Hi, Nikki. That was such a nice intro, thank you so much. I've heard you, I forgot you said that to me one time before. Do you ever get a compliment that floors you so much that you like don't keep it? You let it go. When good things happen to me, I let them go

because I can't handle how good it makes me feel. I'm the same way. Do you do that? I do, I do it. Of course you do. I'll tell you what. You don't like yourself. I hate myself.

You won't believe when people say you're great. People go, great say, I go fuck you. Wait, do you ever let it in? Do you ever? Like. You know, here's the thing. I've been trying to let it in the last couple of years because it's like, it's insane. Why ever let it in? Do you ever? You know, here's the thing. I've been trying to let it in the last couple of years because it's insane.

Why not let it in? There's no reason not to. Also, why? Why let it in first? Because it feels good. But here's why I say don't let it in. Because when it goes away, when something, when people right now are like, Nick, you're having a moment, let it in. And I'm just being so calm and cool about it

because I know it'll go away, because everything does, literally. And especially in this business, I know it's gonna go away. So I'm just like, I don't wanna get too excited because when it goes away, I don't wanna be sad. That's exactly what it is, because it will go away. It's definitely gonna go away. I've been there where it didn't go away.

I don't wanna be the hot thing. Wow. I don't like what's going on for me right now. I'm not even joking you, because it's too much attention. And when you, people, there's too many eyes on you of saying how great you are, then they start, it's only a matter of time when they start going, is she really?

Let's look for it. Let's look closer. Let's find the things about her that she doesn't like. That's why when you're around, I don't even look at you. Great. Yeah, because I'm like, she's too much now. I don't like it. I don't like it. Let's see, wait a minute.

Okay. Let's do it in the green room in the main room. I mean, this is how comedians talk to each other anyway, because we're all like, we can't make eye contact. And then I'll go like this, I'll go. Oh, I saw a wince though. You can't let me see that she's in the main room. Oh, really?

Yeah. We have to act like people. I have to hide it. Oh, okay, check it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Better? Oh, really? Yeah. We have to act like people. I have to hide it. Oh, okay, check it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Better? And then I snuck another, if you look back. I snuck another look,

because I wanted to see what your face was doing right after you turned away, because I knew you might go, ugh. Oh my God. But actually, I don't know why I did that, because I don't seek out what people think about me. I really don't, I try not to, I don't read any comments,

and I'm really proud of myself about it. Because if you care about the good stuff, you'll care about the bad stuff. Yeah, I think that's it. So it's like, there's, if you have to just be so neutral. Yeah. Because if you let this in, you let this in. And I don't believe the good stuff anyway.

I just go, that person's like. But you should, after last night. Yeah, after last night's cries. No, no, no, I'm happy with what I did. I definitely accomplished a goal, but I feel like it was, you know, I just wanna, I just, I don't want anyone, anyone any more eyes on me.

I just like being the way I was, where everyone's like, she's nice. Like I like that. No, no, no, no, no. I don't want anyone to go expect anything from me. No expectations. Yeah. What are you talking about?

You're on the top of the hill, man. Isn't that scary? I'm on the bottom looking up with binoculars, what the fuck are you talking about? That girl last night was like, ba, man. I'm on the bottom looking up with binoculars. What the fuck are you talking about? That girl last night was like, ba-da-ba, but she's like, da-da. The girl that was on stage last night doing that roast was like, she was a version of, it was me.

It was all the way I talked. You thought you were talking about someone. I thought you were talking about somebody else. You literally did? Yeah, I thought I did. I go, who else are you competing with? Oh my God. Because I know Whitney wasn't there. I was with her.

On the bottom of the mountain looking it with a binaural. Oh right. I mean the only reason I get to do roasts is because other women who are amazing before me have turned it down because they are so hard to do. That's not true at all. Yes it is. Shut the fuck up.

Dude that's how you get opportunities. I'm sorry, why am I yelling? I just want to say. No, I love it, I love it. Nikki, I just want to say I'm sorry for yelling. Don't put my hand up get opportunities. I'm sorry, why am I yelling? I just want to say- No, I love it, I love it. Nikki, I just want to say I'm sorry for yelling. Don't put my hand up in the- I'm sorry.

I'm glad my palm was up. It's bad. I will say that of all, like I know that- If you do it like this, it doesn't get anything. If you do it like this, like really, like do that, but you're like this. It's like I'm like, with a smile, it totally doesn't look bad. It doesn't look bad. As you were saying.

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Bobby, I know that this week you have Anthony Edwards for more than 25 points. I always do and I always will. What about Chet Holmgren for more than two blocks and Paul George for more than. He's gonna get one blocking till. Oh shit, all right. His arms hurt.

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I feel like women roasters are just on a different level. Different level. Between you, Natasha, even girls like Kim Kongden. Like they're all Kim. It's just a different level. I worked with Kim. And I feel like- Was she on it?

Yeah. She was on my team. Like she was, we were working together on this. Oh, she would help you write. She was helping direct, helping, out. She was helping me write. You assemble a team of your friends and you go all hands on deck. Do you pay them or no?

Hell yes, I pay them. I did not make any money on this. I'm spending it all and I pay well because I have people who care about me, who work so hard, who are taking this as seriously as I'm taking this and man, this is so essential to me. They should be making as I try to be very generous because it felt so great because last night it was such a team effort.

I assembled such a crew because now I'm treating my specials and I'm treating these kinds of opportunities like, okay, if I did a talk show and got a talk show, wouldn't I hire a writing team? And a writer's assistant to keep track of all the notes, and a producer to just weigh in on stuff and call meetings together to talk about what are we gonna do with this TV show? That is protocol.

But with state of the specials, you just kind of go, I'm taking a special, I'm just gonna, on my own, put together this narrative that I've never really, I just get up on stage and tell jokes in different time increments. I'm not really putting together a story. I don't know how to weave a story. So now I'm like, oh, let's bring on someone

to do my special that knows something about weaving a story. Okay, actually let me tell my friends who are fun to riff with. What are you doing in the special? I did it in Seattle. And who accompanied? It's coming out Saturday, that's why I'm here to promote. Netflix?

No, HBO. Whoa! Ooh la la! Let me just say, neither knew about each other. What do you mean? The two guys I've been fucking ran into each other like this week with the debut of the Tom Brady Rose Netflix and HBO special.

Oh, really? It's a week, it's a collision of, it's a PR. It's a dream though, because HBO feeds Netflix, Netflix feeds HBO. You should be proud to have this person that works with you. What do you mean they feed each other? What are you talking about?

They feed each other. Well, okay, people are gonna watch my HBO special because they saw me on Netflix. How do two hungry people feed each other? He thought you were talking about two guys. Are you fucking kidding me? He thought you were talking about two guys. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Am I talking about two guys? Am I saying, am I saying this? Nikki, can I just say something? I literally just woke up. So you're coming at me. I haven't slept in like 30, 34 hours. I think that's what I'm witnessing. So I'm just saying, just slow it down, man, right now.

Okay. No, it made, Nikki, it made perfect sense to me. Okay. I know it from most humans, right? But it's just like. You am me up, Bobby. You am me up, baby. perfect sense to me. Okay. I know it's from what most humans right, but it's just like you am me up Bobby You have me a baby So I'm so what you're saying is that they're both competitors. Yeah, so I'm not slow down. Hold on. Let me just ask I'm sorry. I welcome by the way, welcome

Tiger belly clip comes up, I'm gonna watch. I'm stopping to watch that whole clip because something fucking hilarious or revealing is gonna happen. That's the promise of a tiger belly clip. Here's one right now. You're welcome. So they're competitors and they have to fuck

with each other because of scheduling and stuff. Yeah. Well, no, I mean like when you are working with a net, I just found this so counterintuitive when I started working with networks and they would be like, you can't work, you can't do things on other networks. We own you. I'm like, but isn't it good for people watch multiple networks. They're not only watching Comedy Central, so they're going to see me on something else. And then they might go, hell, where else can I see her? And it'll drive me to the thing at the other place. So it actually, it's weird when a network wants to own you and like we're the only one that works with you. You're only on our network.

They have to come to us for you. Like, well, how are they gonna find out about me if I don't do other things? Because they're not watching, you're trying to get them. They're obviously not watching right now. They're watching other things. Nicky, Nicky, Nicky, Nicky, Nicky, Nicky. Everyone knows about you.

What are you talking about? In terms of like, look, I just wanna. But this is a perfect situation. This is a perfect situation. The business itself. No, this is a perfect situation of Netflix truly feeding HBO. Yeah.

Because, I mean, the timing of it all is just couldn't be more perfect. I see, I see. And HBO could feel threatened by it and go, wait a second. That was our week with her. She's our girl Like she's going and doing press She should be talking about only about her special and she's gonna get all this into the tension for the roast Well, guess what? I'm gonna get so much more press because of this roast and guess what I'm gonna mention my special on HBO right now

It's called someday you'll die and I wrote the theme song for it and you should go listen that song right now It's also available. Sing it, sing it, sing it, sing it, sing it, sing it. Someday You'll Die, and I wrote the theme song for it, and you should go listen to that song right now, which is also available. Sing it, sing it, sing it, sing it, sing it, sing it. Someday you'll die. That's the hook. That's so good. So I remember like a month ago, you were like talking about doing the roast. Yeah.

Okay, and you were like, look at that. You were telling me how many people are gonna be there. Remember? Yeah. At the forum or whatever? Yes, oh yeah, we were outside. We were outside and then you were like, and I'm just working on these jokes and this and that

and I'm like, you'll be fine. Yeah, you were calm about it. You were calm about it for me. I was calm about it, but I was telling you, you're gonna kill it. But what I'm saying is, because I've been in situations where you're doing it in front of a lot of people, and so let's take us through what goes on.

So are you nervous? Were you nervous yesterday? Yes. Petrified. Did you meet Tom Brady first? No, and usually we do. Like usually, but it's right before. I've done the Rob Lowe one,

I've done the Bruce Willis one, Alec Baldwin, and then it's been five years. Pre-COVID was the last one. And then it's this one. And this one was obviously it's at Netflix. So it's different than the Comedy Central ones. And he's Tom fucking Brady. And they don't give you like parameters. It's you go into it.

It kind of is like you found out you get it and you just go who's doing it. And they're like, well, we'll tell you when we know. And you just kind of are like, so just writing Tom Brady jokes. Okay, what's the angle gonna be? Start just thinking about it. I saw you do it.

I started reading about him. I started watching his documentary. It's just like, I want to like absorb this man and like feel like I can really form an opinion about him. And then you eventually find out the other people that are in it, and then those people drop out. And then so you wrote all these jokes, you have the best joke of your whole set, you completely lose because that person- Put it in your act then, you can put it in your act, no?

Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, good point. I have a question, like Do you guys cross reference jokes? Like what if you land on the same thing? Dude, it happened last night. Talk about nerves. Okay, so I was already nervous going in and I'm sitting there and the show starts

and Kevin Hart is doing his opening monologue and he does a joke I have. No, not the rock joke that I like. No, but he does. Did you do that joke? I did the, oh yeah, I did that joke. And it's crushed, right? Thank God he didn't have that joke. So good. You know that joke? Yeah, the extra weight. Five pounds. That, but he does. Did you do that joke? I did, oh yeah, I did that joke. And it's crushed, right? Thank God he didn't have that joke.

So good. You know that joke? Yeah, the extra weight. Five pounds. The five pounds, yeah. Because I started doing it three weeks ago in the main room, and I literally. Into Kevin Hart's little body?

Yeah, yeah, I literally collapsed on the floor. It's so funny. It's such a great joke. I'm so proud of that joke. But the one that I was actually very proud of too was that I, you know, I'm getting horny for him, I'm like, oh, you were on my fantasy team last night, my clit has CTE now.

I was like, oh, and then I go, and I would show you, but the NFL's making me cover it up. And I just thought that was such a nice punch of like, it's a soft, like fantasy team is soft, clit's hard, and then the tag is just almost as hard as the clit. It's just a perfect, and then Kevin Hart says, you know, Tom Brady, when you got out of your divorce, you were fucking around so much, your dick has CTE.

And I'm like, and I just like, I'm going like, ha ha. Just, oh dear. And then I, and then I'm like, what do I do? Okay, so now I know that it's Kevin Hart's set and then it's gonna be Jeff. And then I know he's doing six minutes or seven minutes, probably gonna run to nine. And then I have Drew Bledsoe,

his will probably go six minutes. So I have like, I'm working with like 10 to 15 minutes where the audience can forget that joke and reset and maybe be open to hearing it again. And then I can just always say- You can't do the joke, it's done. Don't even think it. No, but she did it and maybe be open to hearing it again. And then I can just always say, You can't do the joke, it's done. Don't even think it. No, but she did it and it was...

I did it. Bobby, let me understand my reasoning, Bobby. So I go, I have enough time. I never saw that. They can reset. And I could always say, and I don't really care because we wrote the same joke. It's not a crime. And mine was already loaded in the thing.

It's not like I... That would be insane if they were like, Nikki Glaser stole Kevin Hart's joke that I just heard in repurpose. It's obvious what happened. Did you tell the audience like this next joke? I thought about doing that. So it's running through. I would have done that.

I go, okay, maybe I'll just say, I'll do the joke and I'll go, that would have done better had the same joke not been written and someone didn't catch in the teleprompter. Like I wanted to like maybe like lash out, like do a Jokoi where you're just like, who fucked me on that? My writers!

It was my writers, it's not me! I wanted the right decision because I watched it and I didn't clock it. Well, thank God, I arrived at that time in my head, I go, okay, I'm just gonna do it because it doesn't matter, just do it and blow through it. Just get, because they're gonna doubt you for a second and go, did we just hear this joke, but not really?

Cause it's a different word. Like there's gonna be a moment of like, I think I remember. There's a lot of jokes in between. A lot of show happen. 15 minutes is a lot of jokes. Well you didn't open your thing with that joke, did you? No, it's buried in the middle. Go, go, go, that's how you do it.

That's how you do it. Just blow past the CTE part. Don't, that was gonna be like a CTE. Yeah. Ooh la, and then like, and then. I would've died, you know, and now my clip has CTE. And see, that's an interesting delivery that would've made people feel like,

you know, because it just sounds like a joke. Oh, that's why I'm not a roaster. No, dude, you could. Yeah, I've never done a roast. What, really? What the fuck, no, I literally have never done one. Why? They've never asked me.

Oh, you've never been asked to do a roast? Well,'ve never asked me. Oh, you don't want to. You've never been asked to do a roast? Well, if they asked me, I would do it, but I don't vie, like, can I do it? Roast battle. Never done it. Would you do it, though, if asked? At this point, no.

It's a lot of work, I gotta say. Writing jokes, I mean, it's putting together a show. It's like, it's a lot harder than your act. I just don't wanna do it. You're so fat, you look fat, fat, fat. You know what I mean? That's no joke. That just was off the...

I just improvised. You were natural. Oh, thank you so much. No, it's tough. And you have to go to a dark place in your mind and think really bad things about people. Right, right. But then afterwards, do you get to have a moment with him

and say, hey, all good, right? Yeah, well, I didn't meet him before. And so during it, I, right? Yeah, like, well, I didn't meet him before. And so during it, I'm just like, it was almost good that I didn't meet him because I felt nothing for him in terms of like, he was just, he's just a, he's a 2D image to me. I've never seen him in 3D. I don't really care about making this person,

I have to get to a place where I don't care. I'm detached. Is he old? So I didn't really want to meet him, but so it was great that I did it. How old is he? He's 46. So he looks pretty good. He had three months and two days.

And 22 hours. 11 minutes. Whoa, whoa. 58, 59. Is he handsome? Yes. If you weren't married, would you? Let me just say.

Okay. Oh, look at us. Oh my God, we're nearly. Whoa. Like you just put those together. Oh, fuck you, Dickie. What are you talking about? You're about to fucking.

The next It couple. No, that, look it, that's where they were, the first met, the next Taylor and Travis. Uh, my dream. Wow. Yeah, no, I, he was a beautiful man, but I will say when I did the roast of Rob Lowe, I was struck by his beauty.

And it was like, you could just, when I deliver my jokes about how fuckable he was, When I did the roast of Rob Lowe, I was struck by his beauty. And it was like, you could just, when I delivered my jokes about how fuckable he was, it was like, they worked in a different way because I was alarmed. But Tom just looks, it's almost too perfect that it's just like, doesn't make sense. It's so funny when you see real Hollywood. Because you know, we hang out with dirty comics, right?

But sometimes you'll see real Hollywood and you'll go, and you kind of go, what? Yeah, yeah, like when I met Josh Brolin. Yeah. He goes, hey, Bobby, he knew my name, I was go, what? Yeah, yeah, when I met Josh Brolin. He goes, hey, Bobby, he knew my name, I was like, what the fuck? And then we took a photo, I was just like, and you look at their faces, you're like, it's just nice.

You sent me that same photo six times. I know. Yeah, that Stamos face. Yeah, Stamos, oh my God. Really next level. Stamos, when you see it. Look at my face right now, it's like, I'm like, what going on?

Do you look hot? Look at my face, little gooky face. What going on? You look hot. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Bobby. No, it's just like, you know what it looks like? That looks like, it's like, you know,

like during the Vietnam War, it's like when veterans from both sides meets 40 years later. Oh my God. Yeah. Dude. That's what it looks like. Like, I kill your family, you kill my family, but that was good. That's what it looks like. Like I kill your family, you kill my family,

but we're not good. That's what that photo looks like. So cool, man. We can all live in peace. Like in a Ken Burns documentary. Yeah. Oh my God. They meet up every year.

Every year. Yeah. On the anniversary of his town. Sometimes they come to America, then I go to Vietnam. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Today his family's masculine. They meet up. Yeah, yeah. In remembrance. And then. The day his family's masculine, they meet up.

Yeah, yeah. In remembrance. And then he always still calls me, hey little Chinaman. He still can't let go of some of the racism, you know what I mean? Hey, Nip Nip, come over here, man. Good to see you.

You look cool. Oh, thanks. God, you see, you look like glamorous. I know, I hate looking at myself too long. The last picture I was getting up. But you look famous in that picture. But there are people that are just like, you know, I saw Kim Kardashian up close yesterday.

It's impressive up close. Everyone was, Chappelle was there. Yeah. Everyone was there. He's impressive up close too. Yeah. Everyone, just famous people when you meet them, they're just glowy and enchanting.

He invited me to the eclipse. Who? Did you go? Chappelle. What were you doing? He goes, I want you and Andrew to come to Ohio and watch the eclipse. Did they have a full eclipse there in Ohio?

And I go- Was it in the path? Probably not. I think Texas for sure. It probably had a little, where does he live in- Totality? Yeah. Where's the place he lives?

I just heard it. I don't know. Yellow Grove. Don't look at me like that. I'm just saying. It's so funny. You're like, yellow. I really did.

No, what I'm saying is, and then I was like, we couldn't make it work, but it would have been great. It would have been awesome. Did you ever? Bill Burr was there and also. Burt? Burt Kreischer was there, yeah. Have you done his Fully Loaded tour? Yeah. I'm doing it soon. Oh my god it was so fun.

The next couple weeks or something. It's so fun. It is? I can't believe you haven't done it yet. Yeah I would love to do it with you it's just all about the. Let me say something. Let me tell you. Let me tell you about these tours okay. Let me tell you about these tours right. I'm always the last guy. Like the last guy of oddball, the final season, you know what I mean? Come on, you do something, you know what I mean? It doesn't make sense because you're an awesome hang. So.

Ah, great! You are. You're gonna have someone, who's going on it with you? Who's the crew? I know Whitney is. You're in a bus. Oh, fun. Maybe Spade, I don't know.

Oh, Spade, that would be amazing. Can I just, let's talk about Spade for a second. I know. I could do the rest of. I know, I wanna't know. Well, Spade, that would be amazing. Can I just, let's talk about Spade for a second. I know. I could do the rest of the US. I wanna talk about David Spade for a second. About David Spade. Okay. And let me just get my thing out

because it's very emotional, okay? He couldn't be, like he's what you want out of a veteran comedian. Available, supportive, he feels inclusive, he's very inclusive, he makes you feel, like you know those things where like a veteran will bring you up on stage and they'll just walk, like Martin Lawrence,

nice guy, but he'll go, bye-bye, I don't know if that's not a good, Martin Lawrence impression, but, and he'll go on stage and there's barely a thing, right? But David will do a thing where like, we kind of talk for 20 seconds on stage. Yeah. Does anybody else get to see him, man?

You're gonna love this crowd. Like on stage, like he's just, he invites me to dinners, and he's always made me feel like I was a part of Hollywood. I'm being real. I love him so much. My biggest achievement in this business is being friends with David Spade. Yeah, me too, I think.

Honestly, when people ask me, like what's the coolest thing of your career? I'm like, the people I've gotten to be friends with, Bob Saget's another one that I'm like, the fact that Bob Saget loved me and I know it and I felt it is like, I knew it at the time too, before he passed, this isn't just me being like, I was friends with him, I remember feeling like,

oh, this is an achievement that Bob Saget, I get that love that everyone talks about from him. But David Spade is the same way, he's just the funniest person ever, he makes me laugh so hard, he has for years. And I was watching him this morning, I did Stern this morning, I had to wake up at, so I did the roast, wrapped at eight, went after party,

got home at 12, hair and makeup 3 a.m., stern 5 a.m. Oh my God. Oh my God. So I literally just woke up. It sounds good. And you did all that shit, that's incredible. Yeah, we're on opposite sides, but we're meeting somewhere in the middle.

Yeah. But yeah, so I woke up and I'm just like dead and I'm kind of starting to have regrets of last night and now I'm doing, last night was such a build-up and it's it sounds insane that I would have a regret of last night but it was started being obsessive I talked about it on Stern but I started like freaking out about how I looked like I was like my makeup was fucked up and I was just like again lashing out like whose fault was it like I have to find something

wrong so I started like I had a bad night going I didn't get to bed till 1 30 so I got two hours of sleep. And I wake up and I'm getting my makeup done again and I'm being like, I don't know why my, can we do my lash last night? It was like, do we know why it didn't go all the way to the corner of my eye? I'm trying to find answers.

Like, oh yeah. But I'm sleepy, I'm just tired and a lot of attention is swirling. And so, and I was like, oh no, I can't go into Stern with this energy. What is this? I gotta gotta cuz this is self-doubt like I gotta go in feeling confident about myself because this is Stern it really matters. Have you done Stern before? Yeah and it matters a lot to me I'm a huge fan. I am a too I'm a

huge fan. Huge and so when I like got in I moved to New York to do my serious show so I could be in the same building as him that is true story. I literally was like I don't care. Did you know him then though or no? He's pretty. No I didn't know him I just want to be York to do my serious show so I could be in the same building as him. That is a true story. I literally was like, I don't care. Did you know him then though, or no? He's pretty. No, I didn't know him. I just wanted to be close to him. All right, okay, okay. And then I got my serious show

and then I would like see him in the hallway and go like, oh my God, oh my God. You wouldn't go, hey, I'm Nikki Glaser, I have a show next to me. No, do not bother Stern. He has enough going on. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. He provides, like the way I feel about Stern,

the way I feel about Taylor Swift, like I don't wanna bother them. I don't want them to have to deal with me. Like I don't wanna. Yeah, they're the top. They have to deal with me. Like I don't wanna, I don't. Yeah, they're the top, they're the top. They have to create, they need to preserve their energy to make the things that I love, and I don't wanna get in the way of doing that

and sap their energy by being like, I'm a big fan. So I just am like, stay away. Like I don't even need to meet you. That's the way I felt about him. But then I started befriending, I was friends with people on his show because I would see them around the office and they're, you know, they work on the show

and they started liking me and talking me up and slowly I would get on the after The after show and then have you done that for Joe? No, I don't know why I keep bringing up things you have I haven't done anything and we can move on yeah, yeah. Yeah. I've done this You're amazingly accomplished that's why I feel But this is my show. Yeah, and sometimes they say don't come. You're amazingly accomplished, that's why I feel great to ask you why you haven't done things. The only reason you don't do something is because you don't want to do it.

That's not fucking true, shut the fuck up man. You can do anything you want, probably. That's not true. Anyway, then you eventually met him? So yeah, I eventually met him. No, he eventually had me on, I did a roast of Ronnie the limo driver, and I had a good showing on that,

so that got me in the door. And then they would have me on to judge a dick size, like the smallest dick contest. And I had a good showing on that. So that got me in the door. And then they would have me on to like judge a dick size, like the smallest dick contest. I was like, I'll do whatever. I've done like phone calls where I'm like faking an orgasm for one of the whack packers that like, literally I would write a Sibian for Howard. I would do anything.

Like you just, you do what he tells you to do. So I whore myself out to that show constantly. And I love it. I love every second of it. But they also have had me in for interviews and treated me like, you know, sincerely. and today was my second time that they had me in like on the couch talking to them. Wow.

Yeah. And how long do you go? As long as Howard wants so they don't know but we went the whole time baby. Oh wow. Because it was a great conversation. If you did five minutes would it hurt your feelings? Deeply. Because I know an interview on that show you got to go with, if he can let you go under an hour like I would think that's unheard you have to go over but he was we just couldn't stop talking

And I know that there is show on the I listen to the show So I know their show on the back end of the interview and there wasn't much show on the back end of ours today And it was nice that and he called me afterwards to thank me Which is so nice so sweet and was just like he has your number. He got it. You know, and I just, I didn't even save his. I'm like, get that, I don't even have that in it. Like it was just the nicest call. I have Billy Ray Cyrus' number. But I get back to David Spade, who?

Billy Ray Cyrus, I don't know. Yeah, how did you get that? What happened there? I don't know, honestly. Was it during your relapse? Here's the thing. Oh my God. No, it wasn't during my, here's a funny thing, okay.

So I, years ago, I was looking through my contacts and this is Billy Ray Cyrus, right? And I got this, I've never, I didn't doing my, here's a funny thing, okay? So I, years ago, I was looking through my contacts and this is Billy Ray Cyrus, right? And I got this, I've never, I didn't even know who, I had to Google who that was. Then I go, oh, that's Miles Cyrus' dad, he's a country singer, right? I had never met him before, right? And this is probably some guy that I met on the road

that looks like Billy Ray Cyrus. Got it. Right, so I'll remember, I go, you know that's that guy that looks like it. But you didn't even know who Billy Ray Cyrus was. I did, I did, because I Googled him. Okay. looks like it but you didn't even know who Billy Ray Cyrus I did that I did because I googled okay All right But it but you're saying in the blackout moment where he doesn't he meets the guy that looks like Billy Ray says he would know

To put it right is that because he didn't know yeah, I don't know so can you can we text him right now? I don't know So I was on a hinge when I The first time I went the one we broke up And I went on a couple of dates with this girl and she was Billy Ray Cyrus' assistant at one point. Yeah. Right, so, and I think I hung out with her for months.

And so one night, you know what I mean, we were talking about, she was talking about, I used to work for Billy Ray Cyrus and I was like, what's so funny, because I have this guy that looks like, right, but I got, there's no way. And she goes, well, let me just give me the number. And I showed her the number and she goes, that's his cell phone. No? Yeah yeah yeah yeah so now I just I know I have it. So you met him and thought he was a guy that looked like Billy Ray Cyrus.

I think that's what happened I think there was a guy that I thought that looked like Billy Ray Cyrus but was Billy Ray Cyrus? No. Is that what you're saying? Yeah. That looks just like Billy Ray Cyrus right? I go I am Billy Ray Cyrus. Yeah you're not you know what I mean? But give me your number anyway. But why would I, yeah, get it. How would you, you don't know his name, but you're getting his number. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know how.

What situation would that occur? Can we test? I don't wanna test it. Yeah. Because I don't wanna get blocked by him. But what were the plans? Like did you guys not make plans? Did the fan drop it?

No, that's my question. It's like, why was there an exchange of number to begin with? I don't remember, I sorta got, it's been there for years. He's a fan, clearly. I don't know why. You're not a fan. You didn't know existed.

Can we reach out to Billy Ray and eventually maybe have him phone in the show and see what he remembers? Yeah, I don't think I've ever met him, but. But he might be one of these guys that remembers everything, you know? I don't think so. I think he's gotta got Gary Busey kind of vibes.

Do Barry remember? I bet he's a fan. I bet you better know after a show when he goes I'm Billy Ray Cyrus and you go I don't know what that is. Yeah, yeah. And then take down my name. It's like what happened to me in Miami. With?

What's her name? And then I burned a bridge with the club. With who? With, let me guess, hold on, Rihanna? Let me guess. No, no, let me guess. Wait, what? You're the one I have to listen. Oh my God, No, no, shut, shut, shut, shut, shut. Let me guess. Wait, what, let me, what?

You're the only ad-lion. Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da Miami improv way back in the day. I'm in the green room, I'm so hot. I just remember that. Sweating, right? And the manager comes back there and he goes, oh man, she's here. I go, ooh, I'm so hot. He's like, I don't care about that. He goes. He probably did say that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Gloria. Gloria. Gloria Estevan. Who's that, who's that? It's Australian. She goes. Gloria. Gloria. Gloria Estevan. Who's that? Who's that? She goes, Gloria Estevan. And I go, I don't know. And he goes, you don't know Gloria Estevan? I go, it's not, I don't know.

She an actress, right? I didn't know. I'm sorry. It's okay. I'm sorry. What year is this? Many years, 20 years ago. That's actually, that's crazy.

It's crazy, right? It is crazy. It's crazy. How did you miss that? That was a moment. I grew up in a house. I grew up in a house. I grew up in a house.

I grew up in a house. I grew up in a house. I grew up in a house. I grew up in a house. I grew up in a house. I grew up in a house. How many years is this? Many years, 20 years ago. That's actually, that's crazy. It's crazy, right? It is crazy. It's crazy. How did you miss that? That was a moment. I grew up with Joy Division and Sonic Youth and noise, like noise post-punk rock. No, that's what it is.

You would never have heard mainstream, man. Like Pavement, I like Pavement. You know, the slacker music. No, yeah, I get it. She was such an icon. Like how did I live all the way on the other side of the globe and everyone knew Gloria Estefan? Yeah.

The Philippines love that shit. They do love that shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We do, we do. So anyway, so I go, who is it? They go Miami My Man, and my sound machines, and I go, okay, and they go, and she goes, she's like huge.

And I go, oh, it's a good thing. So I'm on stage and I'm eating it. Right, and I think partly is because I know that she's there. Of course. And I have a fear of somebody I don't even know, right, that's there that could be important. But you know now she's important, that's all it takes. Well, I'll tell you, so what happened was I halfway during my set I was bombing and I

go I don't know what to do so I go oh we have a special person in the crowd. Yeah yeah I didn't know what else to do right and they put a spotlight on her or something like they like lit up that side of the room and she kind of stood up I go Gloria Edibons and when I said that oh the audience was kind of cheering, but also like, you fucked up her last name. And she literally got up and left. Wait, this was your John Travolta, Adele de Z moment. Yeah.

She thought you were insulting her because. Yeah, I didn't know. Did anyone, I mean, no one corrected you? No, I mean, afterwards, after, because why'd she leave? And they're like, you fucked up her name. I was like- Oh my God. It was like Thurston Moore from Sonic U

that got that right. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's Joey Santiago from the Pixies. I got that, see it right there. Oh, I had a moment like that. I was doing, I was at the I Heart Music Awards and there was, and I got to sit with all these celebrities

because I was presenting, so I'm sitting next to Machine Gun Kelly and Megan Fox and and Usher's performing and he's doing this like it was awesome. Me and Joel McHale, what are we doing here? He's always the guy you look at at these things where you're like he'll be there to be like look at our lives. So I forget who else was there. I was there with my dance partner from Dancing with the Stars. I was like just trying to look hot that night with this hot guy that I failed on this show with. I got first voted off with him. It was so embarrassing.

But I'm like, oh, I'll bring Gleb with me, Gleb Subchenko. And Usher is singing to us. And I'm like, oh my God, we have a private party. It's after the show is wrapped. And so it's like, he has an amazing band. Yeah, that's us on the... Who's that? That's my dance.

Look at our chemistry. Look at, look at my face, horrified. I didn't know he was gonna do that to me. I was pretty mad, but I was not prepared for that. But Usher after the show wrapped was like, just kind of held everyone hostage with a concert. And I mean that because like, I think other celebrities wanted to go home,

but like usually they'd be gone as soon as that thing ends but usher's like now like we're gonna wind down and like I loved it because I love usher's a fucking usher and I'm like no you would have yeah yes but he was like I'm done I just rapped so he wants to like sing with his band and he's performing and he's putting the microphone in her face and he's singing a Michael Jackson song that I don't know when he comes to me and I let me guess I don't remember what it Was because I don't remember it's like Billy Ray Cyrus, you know, like yeah Was he singing thriller? No, no Expected to know but like the mouse the mouse

Yeah that one oh my it's a Christmas one The Mouse. The Mouse. What? Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na Wait, was he just part of Jackson 5 or was he Michael Jackson? The mouse? It was Jackson 5. That's what I'm saying. He was a young guy. It was still Michael Jackson though. I know it was. Even if he was a child. But it was a child. It's not Beyonce, it's Destiny's Child. Right, it's kind of like saying an adult Michael Jackson was singing about a mouse.

Oh really? A kid Michael Jackson was singing about a mouse. So if you go, oh remember when Paul McCartney sang Let It Be? You go, well that was in The Beatles. What's the difference? No, Paul McCartney's solo oh remember when Paul McCartney sang Let It Be? You go, well that was in The Beatles. What's the difference? No, Paul McCartney solo is different than Paul McCartney Beatles. Oh really, what's the difference?

Well, John Lennon wasn't there. And George. Oh okay, I know, I know, okay you're right. And George Harrison and George Martin. But what I'm saying is that, with that, so let me get you. But I know what you're saying. No, no, no, let me finish.

Wait, George Martin is the Game of Thrones writer. Also, yeah, George R. R. Martin, yeah. He also did that, he's been around that long. That diverse in terms of his talent. All right, so go back to. I think George Martin was the name of the Beatles manager, but I could maybe get that wrong and have just put in Martin because of RR.

I think you're right, I think you're right. No, that's so funny though. Wait, wait, so, do you get the distinction between Destiny's Child, between, can I tell you something about Bobby? No, no, no, finish this, finish it. Let her go and then you go. Usher fucking puts the mic in my,

I don't know the song, I'm really embarrassed and everyone's kind of like laughing at me that I didn't, like everyone's singing with him and he's going along and then he gets to me and I go, I don't know what to do. You know what I would've done? Baaah! That's good. It just ruined the moment.

You do some sort of like death metal thing. Oh, kuh, kuh, kuh they were singing. Like wait, someone is singing a song that everyone knows. It would have been worse for him because we went to Pache one time for dinner. I'll bring up Pache. I don't know what it is. Go ahead. Oh my God, that restaurant down here. And Usher was there and I was like, oh my God.

Was I there? Babe, we were there together as a couple. Oh yeah. I was like, babe, I was like, that's Usher. Usher. And you were like, who? And I was like, oh, maybe he didn't hear me right. I was like, it's Usher. Usher. And you were like, who? Yeah. And I was like, oh, maybe he didn't hear me right.

I was like, it's Usher. And you look and you're like, I don't know who the hell that is. Oh my God. Yeah, I got- So ask him. He's the same level of fame as Gloria Esteban. Wait, wait, stop, stop, stop, stop.

Yes. Everyone, let's back up. Let's back our trucks back up, right? And let's stand still for a second, okay? Let me say something. I was at a, I don't wanna say the restaurant because it'll be racial if I tell you, but anyway, there was music playing at this restaurant.

Wait, why? Well, I'll just say it and just believe it and I'll take it out. It was. Uh huh. Right? What's wrong with that? That's great.

But they were playing Little Waynes. Okay. Okay? Little Waynes? Okay, that's not his name. Singular. Little Waynes? It was two of them. Oh. Two ofnes. Okay. Okay. Okay, that's not his name. Singular. Little Waynes? There's two of them. Oh.

There's two of them. I think you're thinking of two chains and little waynes, but they also are both one. And I liked it, so I went to the lady before I ordered my. Yo, I wonder where you were. I was in like somewhere crazy. No, I mean like the restaurant that you believed.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. But you understand now why. Change the food item. Yeah, yeah. So I was at, and I go, who is this? She goes, little, she goes little Wayne's. And I go, I had never heard of it before.

And I go, I wrote, I was like, little, what is it? And she's like, you don't know Lil Wayne? And I go, no, and then everyone's sort of coming out of the place going, what the fuck is wrong with him? You know what I mean? Like, hey man, you know Lil Wayne? People popped up, you know what I mean? And it was like, I felt embarrassed,

and I have to say something to everyone right now, okay? I want to say something to everyone right now, okay? I wanna say something to everyone, all right? I know certain things. I know Rachmaninoff, okay? I know Chopin, okay? I know, then let's go back into, I know every Beatles album, every Stones album,

every Velvet Underground album, every Roxy music album, every, you know, like Talking Heads, CBGB, television, what's three? You mean white stuff. Don't say call it white stuff, man. Al Green. No, he doesn't even. Why do you listen to Al Green?

Al Green too. Michael Jackson. He does not listen to any of that. Let's go. Keep going, keep going. Marvin Gaye, dude. I love it, let's go, you know what I mean? You like what you like. In living color.

But here's the thing, Bobby, is that... Well, that's a band called Living Color. Yeah, yeah, that's a band called Living Color. The TV show. No, not the TV show. No, let me start, so then I like, you know what I mean, Signing With Pixies, Interpol, like we've had these people, we've had people that I like.

Right, they're amazing, you like great bands, yeah. And so for me it's like, and I like Tribe Called Quest, I like De La Soul, I like certain kinds of hip hop. I've tried my best, right, because I'm from the suburbs and I grew up with a lot of white people. Wait, I have a question.

Can you ask him the- But you don't like Lil Wayne. Like you're not drawn to that. I've never even heard of it. Nikki, can you ask him the Destiny's Child question again? Yeah, go back to Destiny's Child. What's the difference between, do you see the distinction

between Destiny's Child and Beyonce? Like, do you think that- Well, first of all, there's two different art groups- You should just say Destiny Child's song is Beyonce's song. The two different art group you said? Go ahead, keep going, please. Okay, so, I feel like this is a riddle.

Is this the back end? No, no, no, no, no. Tell us, tell us- Why are you sweating? Wait, Bobby, will you tell us about Destiny Child? Yeah. The tell us about Destiny Child and Beyonce difference. That. Tell us about Destiny's Child and the feel-same difference. That's a riddle.

That was a bad impression. Yes. I don't want to cross that bridge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm good, dude. Why don't we cut that part out, right? Yeah. I tried.

What was that? Ha ha ha ha ha ha. I liked it. I tried it. Thank you so much. I was on a sketch show. Anyway, I don't know how. It was good.

I know the guy you are. Well, the thing. I know exactly guy you are. Well, the thing. I know exactly what you thought that was. But you know what? You come in and that's the main thing. Anyway, my point is this. So I don't know, I've never heard of Destiny's Child. Ever?

Not really. Who do you think broke out of that? Let me finish. Destiny's Child, is it a kid? Or Destiny, oh, there's a woman named Destiny and she had a child and she's the best. You never really thought about it. Because it would be Destiny's Children. Is it a kid or Destiny? Oh, there's a woman named Destiny and she had a child and she's the band. She's the team. I never really thought about it.

Cause it would be Destiny's children. But who are the three, but who are the last three members of Destiny's child? Well, I assume Beyonce. Okay, but who are the other two? Little Kim. Yeah, hey, good guess. Yeah, and I know those are Queen Latifah.

Very good. Is that Destiny's child? Am I close? Correct, correct. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They seem like they would be in a cool band together. You would not let them see them together? Yeah, no, that would be amazing.

Queen Latifa, and you know who else you should have? That girl from Dye Antwoord. She's white. Oh, I don't know that. See, I don't know the music you listen to. No, Dye Antwoord's hip hop too, so in your face. Ooh, South Africa. No, they're like, they're a mix of everything. They're a mix of everything, anyway. Yeah. So, music you listen to. No, Dianne works hip hop too, so in your face. Ooh, South Africa. No, they're like, they're a mix of everything.

They're a mix of everything, anyway. Yeah, so do you listen to? I only listen to Taylor Swift. Are you really? I really, like that's my, wait, listen, I listen to other things, but I listen to mainly Taylor Swift. What is your real take on tortured poets?

I'm obsessed with it. Really? Yeah, I love it so much. But I love whatever she wants to give me. I just savor it, but I really is like, at first, I do this with every new album, or new music. I hate new music at first. I just am like, it's new and I don't know it

and I'm not like, I wanna listen to stuff I know. But I feel like Midnights hit right away. Yeah, it did, but this one hit right away for me too. I actually felt the same way about Midnights. It just takes like two or three listens to a song and sometimes it gets you on the first song. I go through and I like rank them as soon as I listen to them so that I can go back and look at like,

did you know that this was gonna be your favorite song even back then? And I did. You're so over Taylor Swift anything cause I keep bringing it up. Oh my God. Nothing enrages him more. Are you pooing or are you going through

your Taylor Swift tantrum? I don't know how to do that pose she's doing, but I've tried to do it so many times. It's really hard to nail. Yeah, my real, my- How do you feel about it? I love Taylor Swift. Yeah.

I haven't latched on in the same way that I did Midnight's. There are a couple songs where I'm like, ooh, juicy, love this. Yes. Hits, but like not like back to back to back. Yeah, I think it might take longer,'s that's what I always feel about her songs is like, there are some songs that I still haven't gotten to from her, like that I just

haven't spent enough time with that I would go like she's written like 500 songs like there's some songs that as a super fan I like haven't gotten to because I'm not ready for them in my heart like I'm not going through what she's going through with those songs or whatever like I know some on this album I'm not into right now and haven't gotten to it because I'm not ready for them in my heart. I'm not going through what she's going through with those songs or whatever. I know some on this album I'm not into right now and haven't listened more than a handful of times and I'm just like, not for me, but I'm like, someday it will be because I'm just not going through.

Esther said she went to the Taylor Swift show with you and she's like, there's no one better to go to a Taylor Swift show with you. Dude, it was so fun. She'll give you the background of every song. Yeah, it's an exciting, I've been to 12 shows. That was so fast. Whoa.

I do rabbit style. I do that too. Like, do you eat a lot of roughage? Are you like, do you eat well? Not too roughage. Green. Yeah, I like it, I like it. I try to eat a lot of vegetables as I can.

You're a boy band. I'm a boy band. Are we done with that? Yes, yeah. Are you serious? Are you fucking being serious right now coming onto my show? This fucking I hate

hypocrisy Want to use that word All you know Probably right. Yeah, she's the top of her game. Okay when I dated that girl. I love her. I miss her. All right I miss her. I miss her for you. Bring her back. I miss her. Bring her back.

What's the matter? Who? All right, I dated a girl, I miss her, right? But she lives in a different state. And I was just. I wanted them to work out because I like her. All right, but anyway, all she talked about

was Taylor Swift, 24-7. I go, do you know anything else? She goes, that's all, everything. And I realized you're one of them too. I am. And now I realize that you and I can only get so close. No, that's not true at all. We can only get so close because you have a barrier.

It's like you have. A barrier? Yeah, it's like somebody saying that, oh yeah, I'm into fucking, you know, Satan worshiping. It's like, I can't get that close to you. I get it. Like, I understand that it might feel like a block for you at this point,

but I promise that I keep it in check and I will not. I don't I want everyone to become a Swifty, so I'm never going to like, I'm one of these like, why, why do you love me? Christian who doesn't like make you feel judged about it. You know what I mean? Like, you know, you have Christian friends that are like, I know you're going to hell and they kind of just they know it in their hearts. It's like that scene in Seinfeld with Putty where he's like,

sorry babe, it's gonna be rough. You know, she's like, you think I'm going to hell? You're a Christian. No, she's evangelical about Taylor Swift. Like for Taylor Swift. Like a vegan that's not a Christian. I've seen some of your shit. I don't think you're a Christian.

I'm a vegan. No, I'm not a Christian. I'm saying I'm like a Christian. She's said some crazy things. It's another metaphor, I guess. Okay, okay. It's lost on you. Metaphors are lost on him.

That's not true. I love metaphors, dude. Okay, so. Do one. As Swiftyism is like Christianity in that some people preach it too much and turn people off and make people go, I hate them. And some people are just like, I'm just gonna like.

I bought the album 1984, is that what it's called? Close, plus five. Plus five? Yeah. 1990. Close enough. 1989, 1989. Can I just say, I'll tell you what.

He loves that album. I love that album. Yeah, cause. Can I just say, Nicky? I'll tell you what. He loves that album. I love that album. Yeah, because Taylor Swift's fucking amazing. That's not why. That's not why. Why? Because Ryan Adams did the- An album called 1989, and I listened to his first.

I go, this is a pretty good album. But then I realized it was her album that he redid from beginning to end. If you let her in. So then I really-listened to that album and I go, oh, I guess I like her. You do like her. And I could make a mix that would make you go, oh my God. I don't think so.

You have no idea what I listen to. I could go, Bobby, what are you going through right now? What kind of music do you like and what are you going through right now? And I would make you a fucking, at least a 10 song playlist that would, half of it would hit good. If I go, Bobby, what kind of music are you listening to

in your life if I'm like trying to tap into like what you're going through, what kind of music you need to, if you listen, if you sound like you've been listening to music to get through shit. Listen to the first song on the My Bloody Valentine album, Loveless, and then listen to a Taylor Swift song.

It's almost like you're on two different planets. No, it's not. Yes it is. You have no idea what you're talking about again. I literally do. In fact, you know what? You and I are separating now. No, I would love...

We used to be like this, now we're like this forever. Why can't both of our songs be cool and amazing and elite? Listen, let me ask you some questions. Let them both... You and I... Listen, you probably haven't even seen the things I've seen. I've never seen the things you've seen. Are you guys super anti-pop in general?

Like you've always been, right? What does pop mean to you? Popular. Exactly. I don't like popular. Why? You are popular, Bobby. I'm not. No, I'm punk.

You are, kind of. Yeah, I'm kind of underground. No, I'm... You're pop punk. It's a thing. Okay. Maybe I'm a little pop punk. I love that for you. You're really... Your voice now? No, that was sincere. It's a thing. Okay. Maybe I'm a little pop punk. I love that for you. Your voice now?

No, that was sincere. But I get it. I get it. Your way of showing affection is... I know. It's weird. Dealing with them. What I want to say to you is this. I'm willing to learn because I don't want to be the grumpy old man. Yes. So here's what we'll do. I'm going to put it in my notes.

I'm going to put it in my notes. I'm gonna put it in my notes and I'm gonna write down three albums you're gonna tell me to listen to and I swear to God, I'm gonna listen to them in the next three days, okay? I'm gonna make a playlist. I'm gonna make a playlist for you.

So no, it's all you wanna do that instead? Yeah, I would like to curate a playlist for you because I really think I'm gonna get you. You collab with me because I know what'll hit him. Absolutely, of course. I'm being real. I will listen from beginning really think I'm gonna get you. You collab with me, because I know what'll hit him. Oh, absolutely, of course. I'm being real, I will listen from beginning to end. What we've been talking about just now for the last 10 minutes is that I was put

into the friend zone by somebody, and it really hurt my feelings, and it was weird. And Nikki, your overall assessment is cold-hearted snake or no? Yeah, just someone who's not well, and you shouldn't be. She is a sweet girl. She doesn't know what she wants and it's confusing and it's and that the there's one moment in that story that made me just decide she's kind of she's out to lunch a little bit mmm I get it yeah go ahead lady ex my love. X my love. What's up?

You can be a sweet girl and have certain motives and those two things can be true. I just hope that now between Nikki and I telling you these things that on Gilbert and George that you're at least on to her. That you know what she's doing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm on to it. No, because I don't want you to be heartbroken at the end of it. I'm not heartbroken. See, because it's obvious, he falls.

Can I just? Really? I don't fall, what are you talking about, man? I don't fall for this girl. I've never fell, you know what I mean? Wait, Nikki, he falls. Yeah, I fall. He falls, right?

There was some of the story that I kind of sensed he was starting to actually really have feelings for this person, so I... Oh, I'm gonna break. I hope you, do you have the ick for her? Like is there so. Well, I don't have the ick for anybody really. Do guys not experience it?

And I know that it's like so over like talked about at this point, the ick and girls having it, but it is a real thing and men don't have it for women. He does, and he said he hooked up with a girl that looked like Jim Belushi and she was the greatest sex ever. Yeah, yeah. There we go. My boyfriend says that he's hooked up

with some girls before and he's like, you know what? John Belushi and I can't believe it. She just wanted it bad enough she deserved it. What did you say? Like my boyfriend's hooked up with girls that are maybe less attractive than usually he would be attracted to, but he's like, she just wanted it so bad,

I just had to like give it to her. It's service work. Can I give you, Bobby, on the Jim John Belushi front, can I make a really wild confession that's gonna piss you the fuck off? I wrote down, this is a truth number, I texted you about Dan Aykroyd the other day, and I asked where he was.

I don't know the difference, and this is gonna really piss everyone off, between John Belushi, John Candy, Dan Aykroyd, and John Goodman. Who said that? I don't know the difference. Yeah, you do Candy, Dan Aykroyd, and John Goodman. Who said that? I don't know the difference. Yeah, you do know the difference. I do not.

I do not. John Candy is the clearest one for me, but the rest is all jumbled up in my head. Why, because they're fat guys? No, no, it's just the time that they came out when I was a kid in the Philippines, big white guy, they were all the same to me. Oh, really?

Dan Aykroyd wasn't a big white guy. But he kind of is. Later, in his sixties. You know what I mean? But back in the day when he did like, Blues Brothers, he was the skinny guy and John Belushi was the fat guy. But you could tell me Blues Brothers and then Uncle Buck

and I'd be like, same guy, right? No, oh my God. Like I honestly don't know this and I'm so ashamed. I know what you're doing, George. It's insane. I totally relate. I know, I know. I I'm so insane. I know what you're doing George, it's insane. I know, I know. I didn't watch John Candy's stuff, I didn't watch Belushi's stuff, so those,

I can see how all those, who was the fourth one? Ackroyd? Ackroyd and John Goodman. This is such something I'm so deeply ashamed about that I actually took the time over the weekend to like, to- Watch all the films. Yeah, I went back and I'm like, oh, these are their differences.

Cause when you're a kid, you just kind of don't think about these things. Yeah, no, I have the same kind of things where like gaps in my knowledge, but it's just because you didn't know, like you can't, when people are like, you've never, you don't know what a Furby is or like, we like yell at like young kids about like,

you don't, you never seen the Goonies? And it's like, no they weren't. They were 10 in 1992. You're right, you're right. Why would they see the Goonies? Shut up, you're just mad they're young and you have to find some other way to get your aggression. Well at first I was like, you know,

I've deleted women that were like, maybe I'm 52, the women that are 32. Yeah. Right? And they're like, yeah, I've never seen a Star Wars. And in the beginning I was like, what? You're like, I'm losing my 32. Yeah. Right, and they're like, yeah, I've never seen a Star Wars. And in the beginning I was like, what? You're like, losing my mind. Yeah, but- And now as time goes on, you're like, it's a big deal.

It's like, I haven't seen like, a lot of things that you've guys seen. Like, mean- Silent films. I like Mean Girls is a huge movie that chicks like, right? Yeah. Love. I've never seen it. Oh my God, it's so- But I respect it.

I respect it. Or, or Little Waynes. Little Waynes. Or Lil Wayne's, right? You miss out on things and you can't be- Gloria's Child. Exactly. Oh no, no, what's it called? Destiny's Child.

Destiny's Child. And Gloria Esteban. I thought you put both of them. Gloria Esteban. I put both of them. Gloria's Child. That'd be a cool band name. Gloria's Child.

But I don't think you should be hard on people. I'm not anymore. In the same way that, you know how hard it was for Glorious Child. But I don't think you should be hard on people. I'm not anymore. In the same way that, you know how hard it was for me to even admit that I didn't know the big white men different? Yeah. But it's okay to not know what you don't know because you don't know.

Now I'm gonna ask, Nikki, I'm gonna ask you some. You didn't choose to not know it. Nikki, I'm gonna ask you some questions. You would if you could. If we were on a date and this is stuff that I really need someone to know. It's an ick. So these are my icks.

This is my ick is like someone who's like, I'm not gonna chill with you. You haven't seen Rangers of the Lost Ark in the past five times, we can't ever be anything. So let's, I'm driving, right? And you're next to me. We're in Europe. That's why I'm on this side.

A boat. No, because I'm on the right side. Okay, okay, yeah. Hello, bonjour. I go, I would ask you like, what's your favorite Scorsese film? Do you like, do you want? The Departed.

That is what I would say. Boom, right there, check mark. But I would say to you, me saying that is saying very little because it's like one of, maybe one I've seen. All right. I happen to think it's amazing, but I don't really like violence in film.

And so I went to see that against my will and I loved it. And I, oh my God, I'm missing out on so many things because I don't like watching violent things, but I can't watch the Sopranos. I can't watch Breaking Bad. I don't like violence and jump scares. So I miss out on so many things that I know are the best things ever made. I think my problem is this, is that I'll ask them questions like a test and I don't think I should do that.

Like I'll go like this, I'll look at it and go, oh, what's your favorite Kubrick film? No, that's too specific. What's your favorite movie? No, no, no, answer it, answer it. Kubrick? I don't have one because I've never seen one, but I know 2000 Space Odyssey. Oh, you know. I know who Kubrick, Stanley Kubrick is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I've never, and I know I'd love his films because I'm a smart person who likes good stuff, I've just never seen it. What if that was my answer? Can we still continue this date? Yeah, but that already would be a check mark because you're aware of it. What if I'm as like a

I've had like, you know what I mean? I don't play the Kubrick's cube. You're like, why is that a game? What are you talking about, right? You have the Kubrick's cube. But they wouldn't know what that is. Right, right, well you match the colors. I go, no, that a game? What are you talking about, right? You have, the Cooper's Cube. But they wouldn't know what that is. Right, right. Well you match the colors.

I go, no, that's called Rubik's. And my point is this, is at least you, right, are aware of what it is. You just shouldn't freak out when they haven't seen a movie, but you should be like, are you open to it? And have you at least heard of him? Because I do agree with you.

Like, I know, I can fill out a crossword puzzle. I don't know any detail about half the things I'm talking about, but I just know, I can feel it a crossword puzzle. I don't know any detail about half the things I'm talking about, but I just know, I'm paying attention to things. You miss it, but you have, you can't point any fingers with that. You don't know who Gloria Estevan is, but now I'm not, and Destiny's Child.

Like you're not paying attention either to some things that you're doing. I know, and if I don't know those things and it's important to somebody, then it wouldn't work out. That's what I'm saying. No, because you could just, I could go, well, you should, here's some things, watch it with me.

Yeah. Oh yeah, yeah, I'm willing to learn. And then watch her the whole time as she's watching. Wait, that's exactly what he does. Sure. Like if he wants you to watch something, like the West Wing six seasons of it, it was watching me watch West Wing.

Oh my God, oh, that's cute. It's a great show. It is a great show. It is like when I bring my friends to Taylor Swift concerts and I'm just like, like Esther the whole time, I'm like, I'm checking it. Are you like, are you still in? But Nikki, you're looking around and you see who else is cheering, right?

Yeah. 12 year old girls. No. Yeah. It's just like, yeah, there's kids, I've seen it. Yeah, it is. It is. It's like.

I've been to 12 shows and it's like 70% adult women. Correct. There's no way, dude. I've seen it online. I see little girls. Yeah, because she has all of the generation. I might say 60%. I'll change it to 60.

Yeah, but what does a little kid relate to that you can relate to? Being alive, feeling unbridled, feeling connected to just another frequency, the one that you're connected to? Being alive, feeling unbridled, feeling connected to just another frequency, the one that you're connected to when you're a kid and you have more emotions and you're not as like, like kids like, it doesn't mean it's dumb. It just, it sounds good and it makes you feel alive.

Also when you're younger, you're really just looking for something like a good melody and fun and catchy and she has that but then for us older girls she has the lyrics. Oh, the heartbreak. And so it's like poetry. There's something for everyone. Yeah, I mean I'm into every scene. Every scene.

Yeah. Yeah. Respect. Yes. The themes you all want. Wait, do you not want those things? No. Life is painful. Oh good. Life is painful, it's hard.

Get in the ditch, let's dig out. Get in the ditch. What song is like a song you really like, is your song that you're like, this is so fucking me? Oh, I could do, oh yeah, yeah, Pale Blue Eyes. Oh my God. By The Velvet Underground is one of my favorite songs. Really?

Yeah, yeah. Let me pull up those lyrics. No, no, please don't. I wanna look inside Bobby's head. You know what makes me cry? Yeah, yeah, what? Is that those lyrics when we were breaking up like rang very true for me. Hearable Lies?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Sometimes I feel so happy, sometimes I feel so sad, sometimes I feel so happy, but mostly you just make me mad. Baby, you just make me mad. Linger on your pale blue eyes. Thought of you as my mountaintop, thought of you as my peak,

thought of you as everything I've had but couldn't keep. Oh fuck, I'm like getting teary eyed. Lou Reed was a great lyricist. Very kind of Taylor Swift, isn't it? Yeah. It's kind of Taylor Swift-y, honestly. Oh, is it Swift-y? It's Swiftian.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. If I could make the words clear and strange is what I see. I put you in the mirror, I put in front of me. I mean that is so Swiftian. Taylor Swift. It is. Well this is in the 60s, so it's basically homage to Lou Reed of me. I mean, that is so Swiftian. It's Swiftian. It is. Well, this is in the 60s, so she plays homage to Little

Yeah, I mean, she definitely is a fan. That's the thing, she's influenced by all the people you listed, but this is so beautiful. The reason why I like the Velvet Underground is because at that time in the late 60s, they had the whole hippie. Whoa, the end of this. It was good what we did yesterday,

and I do it once again. The fact that you are married only proves you're my best friend, but it's truly, truly a sin. Yeah. Oh no. All right, okay, enough. Oh wait, so they're not together in the song? No. Yeah, no. Dude, I love a song where they're not together.

It's my favorite kind of song. I never listen to the song in this way. Like, you know when you listen to a song you don't hear the lyrics, I'm like, oh, this is fucking good. I love any kind of story where they don't end up. Yeah. So listen, I think you've convinced me.

I'm gonna open my heart. So do the playlist, okay? Can't wait. And Nikki has a HBO special coming out. When does this come out? This week? This week. Saturday, May 11th.

So this, when you're listening to this right now, it's the Saturday. Yeah, and listen to my new single, Someday You'll Die on Spotify. That is the title track of this. I feel like that's very luride, my title. Thank you, really? Oh, that's awesome.

Yeah, it's the first song I ever wrote. But I have to say something about you two ladies, and it's a compliment. May I say something? And before we leave? Yeah. What's up, why you laughing? Okay. Just do your stuff right here. And I really mean this, and I say something? And before we leave? Yeah. What's up? Why you laughing? Just you start, you just start.

And I really mean this. And I'm gonna try to be, I'm gonna take the comedy out of it, right? And I'm gonna try to be real. Okay. Right? You guys are terrible people. No, I'm kidding.

No, I wanna be real, right? Okay. I think that you guys, for me, right, are the top, like you guys are rare breed of people. I mean, you guys have all the things that I am, like I look for when I look for a partner.

Like looks, coolness, you know what I mean? You know what I mean? You know, you both are very funny. I think she's very funny, you know what I mean? Also, I don't know if you're a foodie. Are you a foodie? I mean, who wouldn't be? Right.

So like, I want a girl where I'm gonna go, hey, can turn me onto a restaurant. And she's done that many, many times. Oh really? She's turned me onto film and music, different things. Yes. I feel like you're the same way. You guys, and you guys are a breed

that's, there's not a lot of people out there, because I know I've been out there in the woods. Imagine being an ex and hearing your ex say, I want to be with a girl like you, but not you. But because, can I ask what is the why, then why aren't you together? I don't know. No, I'll tell you why.

I don't know. Because your life is the song Pale Blue Eyes. Yeah, it's too late now. Why are you looking at it all? Upcoming shows, Nicky has. I have so many. I'm on tour. Special comes out streaming on HBO right now,

or on Saturday, I guess. But right now, if you listen to this later. Wait, you already have another hour to go on the road with? Jesus. I mean, it's not perfect, but it's going to be so fun. There's enough stuff I've left on the table that was perfect that didn't go in the special that is ready to like could bolster the stuff that's new

and stuff that's new is like, I'm churning. Wow. It's not, and it's, you know, by the first date, where am I? The Venetian with David Spade made 17th and 18th, which is an amazing show to go to in Vegas if you want to plan a last minute trip. That is incredible.

But that show will be very different than you. Can I go? Yeah, fucking come out. I want to come out and I want, will I get tickets? Yes, you'll hang with us. You gotta go to a spot. I don't want a spot, I don't want a spot. I know, but you'll.

I want to hang out though. I've always wanted to go there. Love it. You know what I mean? And not do a show and watch my friend's show and then maybe have a dinner or something. That'd be nice. Yes, that's what we love. Let's close the loop on David Spade.

I just want to say this morning when I was like having that panic attack before Stern, I was like, I need to call myself and I was like, I need to get in like, who's like the, what kind of Stern interview do I want to have? What's the ideal world? And I was like, put on a Spade best of Stern. If you ever, like Spade is not only such a good friend, so generous, all the things you were saying before, remarkable, but he, if you are bored,

you've just done all the things on YouTube you could ever think to do, put on a compilation of David Spade on the couches of Stern or Ellen, just do it any, Fallon, and it's a home run. You'll be laughing your ass off. He does the best, he's so good. And so I was watching him and Stern just like,

yeah, he just calmed me. He's so good. He's so fun. He has an effortless way of performing too. Yes, yes. Even when he's doing new stuff, he's just like, so conversational, effortless. He's just so fun to watch.

Anyway, Nikki's on tour, watch the HBO's, we love her. How many times have you done this podcast so far? I think this is the third. Third, right? Yeah. Yeah, so you know, we don't really have a lot of repeats. Really?

Yeah, yeah. We've had maybe Whitney, Eric Griffin, who else? Dio. Dio maybe. Rick. Rick. Rick too, yeah, and you. That means so much to me. But we have, you know, we have, you know,

we have had a lot of one-offs. Bill Burr has done it, what, three times? Three times, yeah. We should start doing jackets for people. Maybe, yeah, so if you do it the fourth time, you get a jacket. Oh, we should start doing it. Yeah, we should do that.

Oh my God. I will work on something to promote in a year. No, but you're always invited, we always love you. And you know, honestly like I Hate giving compliments, but you I just I can't think of anything wrong with you I It bothers me is not Try your best no in terms of there's I think I Did the only thing I would could say if I was gonna say so I don't hear it

just Now I know I need to know I'm talking to somebody I go. I don't want to hear it. Just now I need to know. I'm talking to someone and I go, you know what her problem is, though? But Nikki's great. No, but the problem is I don't trust her because everyone likes her. Oh, yeah.

So she's everyone's cup of tea? That's weird. That's the only thing I would say. But you're being nice. I'm sure you could come up with something. And I'm sure someone will say something at some point. Her teeth are so white. I have some crest white ribs.

They're perfect, I hate it. I don't know what else. There's nothing else to say really. I can't say anything negative about you or Natasha Legere, I don't think. Oh, isn't she a doll? Yeah, she's a doll. The nicest.

And so, like, her act makes her, like, when I used to just be a fan of hers, I used to think, oh my God, she's gonna be like, what are you doing, doll? What are you wearing, doll? Like, you know, like, just that, like, but she is the opposite of that character, even though she is that character.

It's like, she's just the best. Yeah. Who else is like someone that you just can't say anything? Let me try to find a guy that's like that. Hmm. I know one guy, the guy I saw the other day. BEEP Who?

BEEP Nicest guy. Yeah, I can't think of anything wrong with him, really. Well, we can talk about that. No, I mean, I really, I really don't. I can say one thing. I mean. Well, Bobby, that's my, that's my,

what you just said is my fear of what people say about me. Never, never. Not just never, I'll tell you why I know you're a beast, right, you make me laugh, but not only that, you follow heavyweights. I do? At the comedy show, you're always later sometimes, you pop it, you don't care what the lineup is.

No, I wanna follow heavyweights because the crowd is like, we're all just like, what the fuck happened? Nikki, you're a fucking heavyweight, man. What are you talking about? Well, anyway, let's move on. No, I don't love following you though, Bobby. Anyone else? Let's move on.

No one does. I love you so much. Give Nikki Glazier a round of applause. Woo! Thank you, guys. That was so fun. So fun. So fun. Thank you for watching!