TigerBelly - Ralph Barbosa and the Knuckleheads

Starting point is 00:00:00 Music You know how to mechanic bro? A little bit now. Yeah dude? Yeah. Learning. Your lips are getting fresh huh? Yeah. Yeah yeah yeah.

Starting point is 00:00:35 They're so nice. I forgot about that. You forgot about what? How fresh they're getting. The whole lip thing. Oh last time. Oh yeah. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:00:43 Did that make you mad? No. Yeah yeah. But. It's a little weird. It's making me realize I forgot my chapstick Oh, yeah, where is it? I don't know probably the hotel. Yeah, I have a lot of them in my backpack I like five. Yeah, you usually have an assistant for that rain To make sure you have everything. What are you trying to do here? Ralph thank you so much. His energy is different because He's been here a lot, a lot, a lot. Who's this guy?

Starting point is 00:01:06 I know exactly, dude. And his energy, dude, is he's gone way too overboard with his confidence. He's a new guy? Yeah, this new guy, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What's your name, bro? Yeah, bro.

Starting point is 00:01:14 Yeah? Jamie. Jamie? What do you do exactly? How'd you find this guy? You. Me? Yeah, yeah. I met him through YouTube.

Starting point is 00:01:22 Never. Yeah, yeah. You've never seen him before? Mm-mm. What's your name? This is Jamie. What about J through you, dude. Never. Yeah, yeah. You've never seen him before? Mm-mm. Uh-uh. What's your name? Jamie. What about Jamie? Is it Jamie or is it Jaime?

Starting point is 00:01:29 I used to go by Jaime, but I go by Jamie now. Why? See, I like to move away from the old Jaime to the new Jamie. Right, Bobby? You know what? You're right. You know what? Right.

Starting point is 00:01:41 You're a new man. You're a phoenix. You're reborn. You're a man? And now you're a Jamie, what? That's what you call yourself, a man? I'm a little man. Yeah, he's not a man yet. Yeah. Yeah, don't say that.

Starting point is 00:01:50 I feel like. Yeah, go ahead, dude. Get into him. I feel like your name is Jaime. Yeah. And you got tired of people saying, how do you spell that? So you say Jamie. Yeah, dude. What's that all about? It's easier, save you time.

Starting point is 00:02:03 Yeah. Where's your dad from, bro? I love it. Mexico. Mexico's that all about? It's easier. Save you time. Yeah. Yeah. Where's your dad from bro? I love it No, Mexico. Yeah, he moved here. Yeah, he's from America. Oh, dude. What's going on with you? That's what I've never seen you like this your dad uh, you're a junior Yeah, it's Jaime jr. Oh your dad. So your dad's senior. Oh, your dad's senior, huh? So your dad is Jaime. Your dad goes by Jaime or he goes by Jaime? He goes by Jaime. So your dad works his ass off. He works his ass off. Comes to this country, no?

Starting point is 00:02:34 To come to this country. How many siblings do you have? Let me guess. 14. Let me guess. 14, right? Your dad works his ass off. Has 14 children. provide provides all of them You know how many friolas it is that's gallons of free whole eggs We don't eat free whole eggs or whatever you guys eat. I mean, you know, I mean and

Starting point is 00:02:52 Corn tortilla and you credit him by changing your name to Jamie exactly dude. What is going on here? What is the meaning of all anyway Bobby? How have you been? I'm good. I'm good, dude, you know, but um Ralph but um Barbosa, but um, Barbosa. Barbosa, that is my name. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Um, Ralph Barbosa, give him a round of applause. He did a show with all my friends. You did a show with all my friends in Vancouver.

Starting point is 00:03:15 Yeah. Santino. Not one of those people who claimed you as a friend. I'll tell you right now. Yeah. Wait, wait, wait, wait, excuse me? No, I didn't get that. None of those guys claimed that I'm their friend?

Starting point is 00:03:26 Yeah, they didn't bring you up one time. Dude, you're something's going on with your, you're going through a transformation too, huh? Am I? Yeah, dude, see, you wouldn't even say that the last time. Am I? God, dude, fuck you, dude. People change.

Starting point is 00:03:37 Yeah, you wouldn't even shit in my house, dude. I didn't shit in your house this time either. You didn't let me. I know. What happened? You went to Mendocino Farms? It's because I've been hanging out with this girl. She's real pretty and she was at my hotel,

Starting point is 00:03:53 but I didn't want to shit in front of her because I don't have normal shits. Oh, what are they like? They're like really, they're stinky, like extra stinky, like bad. Like shit stinks, but this is like bad. Like you have concern. I don't know, I have pretty stinky shit too, but this is like bad like you have concern As kind of I mean we could have a competition one as Jamie sorry Jamie sorry Jamie is this poos extra stinky

Starting point is 00:04:13 It's been a long time. I haven't smelled his poop. Okay, it's been okay. What kind you got? What poop says about just depends here we go zoom in bro. That just depends on what day of the week Yeah, I have all of those you got lumpy. Yeah, I've had lumpy. I've had liquidy separate hard lumps. I've had like stew where it's like chunks of potatoes Yeah, yeah, that's like a number three. I call that the number. Yeah, that was a number three Yeah, I've had number two. It's one and two combined. I had by the way. I had a normal poop You didn't have to give me that whole like oh, we don't have running water in my house. Yeah, okay. Oh We did we had a plumber come over and that's a fact right Alex. Thank you. Yeah, but the rabbit poos I'm the master at that the rabbit poos. Yeah, do you know why why my my you know, that's together cigarette cutters a

Starting point is 00:04:56 Little yeah, there's a little cigarette. That's what my anus is. Yeah Yeah, like a little cigarette good clip like Clip and they come out in little rabbit style like. That's what my butthole looks like. But do you have to like concentrate to make it do that? Yeah, I mean I have to fluctuate it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't do fists like I'm transforming into putting my claws out like Wolverine. When I concentrate really hard, I do something with my hands, but like... What do you do?

Starting point is 00:05:19 You don't ever do that? Like, um... No, what is it? Alright, like it just depends what I'm doing though. Look at that, that's it. Those are your friends? Yeah. I know them. So he did a show in Vancouver with Normand, Fahim Anwar, Soder, my best friend Andrew.

Starting point is 00:05:35 How was that show? It was really good. They made me go up last and I know what they were doing, you know? Oh, they told me. Yeah, they were like, hey, honor's yours! But I'm like, yeah honor. Yeah, that's the fuck position But I'm the youngest guy there. Yeah, and I'm here to earn my stripes. So I didn't complain I took it like a man. I said well go on what did you get darkness because I know it starts during the day Yeah, and I went on it was already dark. Oh good good good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, but I you did good

Starting point is 00:06:02 I did you know, I was there Friday. Oh, yeah I did a show with sagura same place. Yeah, Friday and then fielded Saturday, and then you guys did Sunday I was gonna stay about Yeah, they should say you think I'll be my hands. You'll see them again was that Did somebody just throw something what is it? What do they say? What's that water yeah, tell them that we already did it. All right. Yeah, tell them I already took a dump. He already took a dump. No thanks to them. But you know, here's the thing about that photo, dude. It's the rise. You've risen. You think so? I think that photo is all about Fahim. This looks like the ending of a movie,

Starting point is 00:06:43 and like it all worked out for Fahim, you know? Yeah, that's what it looks like the ending of a movie and it all worked out for him. That's what it looks like. But what a great line up. So you had fun there. And also I was telling Jaime, I pitched a movie yesterday to a pretty big company and they really liked it. And then there's a character, Benny, that's in the movie that is a Hispanic guy. Benny's a good name. Yeah, thank you. And as soon as we're done pitching, all the executives from there and they go,

Starting point is 00:07:10 we'd like to see Ralph Barboza as Benny. What? Yeah, and I go, I go why? Why'd you ask why? Because I was confused by it. Just say, oh, okay. No, no, no, no, I was like why? And then they're like, we really like him

Starting point is 00:07:24 and then also we know that netflix really will do They'll do anything with him and you know, I mean and I didn't even know that yeah I'm telling you and so i'm like in my mind after yesterday. I was just like, oh barbosa is on another level He's like climbing. I'm hard. I'll tell you what happened is they say we want barbosa. You're like You sure you don't want stupid hymen. I love hymen Oh, I see what this is about. You think you're not going to come out here every week to do my podcast? Here's my problem. Here's my problem, Bobby Lee. It's just, I don't like how confident he's been getting. That's what I'm saying. That's why I wanted you to come back and school him. So what are some of the things...

Starting point is 00:08:02 First of all, he brags that he's getting all this pussy. Is that true? Yeah, I don't know what he's talking about exactly. Mechanic, do you think? Is that true? Yeah, he has a girl that he's been talking to and I will say this and I'm not exaggerating. I am not exaggerating. I love it. Please, tell me it all. The girl he's talking to right now. Yes, let me just get, I'm focused.

Starting point is 00:08:23 I won't say her name on here because I'm a these go. I'll say V. Okay. Okay V is the most Respectable woman he has ever dated In what way in what way she's good she believes in God I don't know about that. Okay, let me guess you know, I mean she's clean. She seems clean. Yeah. Yeah. She have a job Yes, but what kind of she's actually a photographer. Whoa in the arts. In the arts. Cut this out. No, we're not cutting this out. Why are we cutting it out bro? She's a photographer and here's what's a cool thing. It's a little bit before they started talking like a week or two before. She was going for you. No, no, no. I remember I saw her. That's what I thought. I thought that's probably the case. That's where I was going. She's like, oh, this door's closed. I might like go out. Just go in the sidekick.

Starting point is 00:09:06 But anyway, it was like, Hey, Ralph's busy. But no, she, I remember her posting that her whole month was booked out. So she hustles. She's on it. She's hardworking and she has a job and I'm pretty sure she showers. Which is more than I can say for a lot of the women in Hymen's past. That's more than I can say for a lot of the women in Hymen's past. Wow. That's more than I can say. Here's an important question. Can she be around you guys socially like you're not embarrassed? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:09:33 Yeah. That's great. I think so. That's a big deal. I've never hung out with her so I mean I could be wrong. I think you're wrong maybe. But yeah. But I'm not going to name many names.

Starting point is 00:09:41 I think you should check it out. I'm not going to name many names. The photographer, Dallas, that's all we need to know. But one time we hung out with another chick and I remember ten and I'm like dude, you got to dump this chick Pronto pronto why she was horrible. Look Bobby Too much hang loose. Oh, she was like surfing She was what is this a, like a baby bottle?

Starting point is 00:10:06 She was eating a lot of bananas. Oh, she was eating bananas? If you know what I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Our friend's bananas. Oh, I see. Yellow dick. Asians.

Starting point is 00:10:14 A lot of Asians. She was talking a lot of Asian dicks. Now listen to me, okay? If that last girl that you were talking about was hanging out with you guys socially, you'd be like, get her out of here Hmm Okay, wait, hold on sometimes, you know when Asians and Mexicans get together language barrier There's a language barrier even in English. I just kind of zoned out for a bit. I know why where'd you go?

Starting point is 00:10:37 I saw that you went you I was just remembering that that night Okay, we got we hung out with horrible girl There's another girl that I was supposed to hang out with and the bar she told me to meet her at, first of all she was supposed to go to a certain sporting event with me and... Why can't you tell me the sporting event because... Because then the one we're talking shit about might not look like shit about... She already knows though, she already... You know, can I guess it? Dallas Cowboys. No.

Starting point is 00:11:08 Okay, that's all I know. No, okay, so that night I'm supposed to take this girl with me to a sporting event. But I'm like, no, I'm not going to go to the sporting event. After all, we're having some family stuff going on. Somebody's in the hospital.

Starting point is 00:11:24 I left. I'm like, I can still catch the game. Fuck the hospital. Okay, okay. When you knew they were going to die. I was like, they'll be fine. Yeah, yeah. Statistically, I do, I'm good with numbers from like the odds of them dying, low. Yeah, low.

Starting point is 00:11:37 I'm gone. I go to the game. So I tell the girl that I had canceled on like, I'm at the game. I'm sorry I came without you What do you know you want to come we meet up after it? She was gonna meet me up after at this bar But after that game the bar was closed and then I never like I saw messages later She was like where you at? But I'm like the bar is closed like I couldn't even but there's other places you can meet her

Starting point is 00:12:02 I just didn't know where she was at and also I was not in like The most soberest state of mind were you attracted to her? Oh, I'm still very much attracted to her But now I can't like get the time of day from her Oh, let me let me get let me let me let me get this straight Ralph Barbosa, will you do you did it again? What did I do Bobby Lee that you went somewhere else? No, no, I'm listening. But if I listen, I have to not look at you to listen. Can I just say something about you, man?

Starting point is 00:12:29 You never look at me, dude. It's hard to look at people in general. What do you mean? Why do I gotta look? How long do you want me to look at you for? After I'm done talking. After I get all my information off, then you can drift. I can listen right here.

Starting point is 00:12:43 Oh, you can't? Oh, you you're gonna just listen in that state? All right yeah. He does that. He does that too where he just yeah yeah yeah. I don't like that. I don't like that. Neither do our friends. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah because you don't even know what I'm saying you're already shaking your head and your eyes. What are you doing dude? Okay go ahead. Alright talk to me. You're a weird Mexican dude. I've never met anyone like you. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah dude.

Starting point is 00:13:14 I don't even know what I was about to say. I literally don't even know what to say. You got me in a fucking mind twist. You're saying I should go after this girl. There's something there. No what I'm saying is that, what you mean to tell me okay, you mean to tell me some girl in,

Starting point is 00:13:26 forget it dude. Don't even look at me then. You're gonna do that, all right? All right. You know what dude, two can play that game dude, all right? Okay. Is that what I look like? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:13:39 That is not what I look like. And then when you look you go. I don't do that. Yeah, yeah. You do that, I don't do that. do that yeah you do so you mean to tell me that you mean to tell me sound more Asian now no you mean to tell me bro that you'd be like why don't you look at me oh that's your Asian yeah okay you make an honest woman out of my dog oh yeah this is my mix again that's hey this is anyway so um what is going on here I just fucking say what I want to say you Make an honest woman out of my dog. Oh, yeah, this is my mix again. They say this is

Starting point is 00:14:09 What is going on here? I just fucking say what I want to say you fucking cock Okay I'm ready Guy you're weirdo so um can you look like a brown cricket right now? You're like a little brown cricket Yeah, anyway, um you mean to tell me this girl, you know, is that special where the like you're a rising I'm not kidding you you're a rising star. It's like give him another shot lady She did that the bar was closed after the game. She texted me yesterday and what she said, dude She wanted to come to my show. Where?

Starting point is 00:14:45 In Dallas. Yeah? Where was your show at in Dallas? Around. You going to go? Well, I mean, you know what? I would love to maybe go to Dallas and do one of your shows.

Starting point is 00:14:56 I started a podcast with my buddy, Jaime. You might have heard of him. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know. And you do it in Dallas. Yeah. You can come on. Would you want to come on our podcast?

Starting point is 00:15:04 You know what? I'm willing. This is what I'm willing to do in January All right. I'm willing to fly to Dallas Spend a couple of days because I want to go to baby dolls Okay, you know that right? Some of your friends bro, and then uh, was that racist no, thank you. And I want to do a show with you Yeah, like I'll do a guest star spot What would you do at the Addison Improv or something? Wherever. No, you can't just go whatever you got to advertise it

Starting point is 00:15:33 Well, I mean we'll advertise it, but I'm down to do it wherever you want to do it at. Let's do it Let's do it. This will be fun. This will be fun. Let's do a Wednesday night. Okay. At the Addison Improv Okay. Okay. We do two shows. All right. It's you and I co-headlining. Okay. Right. We get a couple of other guys on it. Well I only want to do like 20 minutes. We'll give Fahim to headline it. You and me open for Fahim. Oh wait. That's great. That's great. We make Fahim close. You want to do that? I can make that happen. Fahim, you know, I think that I think we owe him because you know on that show they made him go up first and do less time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna call Fahim now.

Starting point is 00:16:11 We're gonna propose it to him. Okay. But he has to close. Okay. Okay. He has to do an hour 15. That's a lot. You and me will do 10 each. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a lot, dude. Okay, here we go. Fahim and what? You know Fahim? Oh, yeah. Tell, yeah, yeah. That's a lot, dude. Oh, right. Here we go. Fahim and what? You know Fahim? No. Oh, yeah. Tell him at hour 15. That's insane.

Starting point is 00:16:35 Sometimes in life, you want to rest your mind out. Helix sleep. Rest your mind out, guys. Let me say something. I have a couple of rooms in my house. Yeah. Some say mansion. Wow. And in my rooms I have only one mattress, which is helix sleep. Because if you're going to spend the night in my house, I want you to have the best sleep imaginable. Yeah. I love it. You love it, Jules? Yeah, you love the Helix, right? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:17:09 And it's like sleeping on a cloud almost. When I visit Titu Bobby's place to feed the cats and take care of the cats, I sleep in my bed before and it's always been so good because it's a helix mattress 25% off site wide plus two free dream pillows with any mattress purchase Free bedding bundle two dream pillows sheet set and mattress protector with any luxe or elite mattress order Helix sleep comm slash belly guys. That's helix sleep comm slash belly

Starting point is 00:17:44 I love master class, I really do, because I've learned writing techniques through master class, and I've also seen some acting master classes and directing master classes, and anything in the field of entertainment I've seen a master class on, and I think that they're just so informative,

Starting point is 00:18:01 and they always have the top of the line teachers. If it weren't people that I trusted, but these are the best people in their field. Look at Helen Mirian. Oh my God. She's the best. Really check out Masterclass. With Masterclass, your loved ones can learn from the best to become their best. Masterclass is the only streaming platform where you can learn and grow over 200 plus

Starting point is 00:18:25 of the world's best. That's why Wirecutter calls it an invaluable gift, George. George, what are some of the classes that you were taking on or taking a look at on MasterClass? Well, I really love the Chris Foss negotiating one, but we've got a lot of ones in comedy and improv as well. Judd Apatow, former guest of Tiger Belly. Ooh, little flex. Teachers comedy. comedy and improv as well. Judd Apatow, former guest of Tiger Belly.

Starting point is 00:18:45 Ooh, little flex there. Teachers comedy. We've got Kevin Hart teaching comedy, humor, how to make your mark. Amy Poehler, David Sedaris, Steve Martin. And look, if you don't wanna just do comedy and improv, you can also jump into their food and beverage area. I actually was taking a look at some of the classes

Starting point is 00:19:03 from Thomas Keller. He is the chef in the French Laundry. So now I can cut eggplant on a diagonal, George. Ooh. I'm fancy. Masterclass always has great offers during the holidays. Sometimes up to as much as 50% off. Head over to masterclass.com slash belly

Starting point is 00:19:18 for the current offer that's up to 50% off at masterclass.com slash belly. Masterclass.com slash belly. Masterclass.com slash belly. You can hear it through the mic. Oh, shit, you can hear it. You can hear it. Do you ever get those toy phones? They'd be like.

Starting point is 00:19:40 Ay, ay, ay, ay, got me a little butterfly. You don't know what I'm talking about? They're like, I'm like. What? You don't know what I'm talking about? I can do that on my phone. I just, I don't know. Every time I think about phones and like hearing the phone, I told you that at least the people wasn't your friends. That is true. Right. Call one more random.

Starting point is 00:20:04 That's Santino. That not Santino that's it Mark Norman Mark Norman. Okay. Okay mark Norman. All right. Here we go mark Norman Here we go. Here we go. I'm gonna call all of, Mark, Bobby Lee. Hey Bobby, what's shaking? Hey, can you hear me? This is Ralph, Barbosa. Hey, a Mexican and an Asian walking to a bar. Hey, is Bobby your friend for real? Be honest. I like Bobby.

Starting point is 00:20:30 I mean, I wish we were closer, but he's a tough, tough Korean to get close to. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy.

Starting point is 00:20:38 He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a tough guy. He's a closer, but he's a tough, tough Korean to get close to. That means he wants to be your friend, but you don't let him, Bobby.

Starting point is 00:20:52 That's not true, Mark. I mean, I think at the end of the day, we would say that we were friends. I don't know what you're doing right now. Can you look at Bobby in the eyes? Well, there's so little I can do. But you know, we were calling all the people that were on your Sunday show and then Ralph wanted to see who was my real friends and Fahim didn't pick up and then you picked up so you know what dude you're a winner to me. Hell yeah well I thought you were going to kill yourself.

Starting point is 00:21:20 Alright I love you have a good Saturday Mark. Hey I love you have a good Saturday mark There we go I win one I let know let's go dance odor He's not gonna pick up now, but what do they have this do they have to say I'm Bobby's friend They have to admit that Bobby is their friend. Okay, let's just This guy picks up. It's a fucking miracle and I win today. Okay. Yes admit that he would die for you You or ask him ask him. All right answers If he doesn't let me just leave him a message. Okay

Starting point is 00:21:57 He never picks up Bobby never has one time in his life Hello is this Dan Soder Because we're friends, whoa, would you say that you're Bobby's friend? Everybody say this about you Bobby? You tried and I hate it. But you didn't want me to. What are you talking about? I would say I consider myself your friend. I consider yourself my friend too.

Starting point is 00:22:38 Good, then there we go. Would you die for Bobby? Hell yeah, I love Bobby. Bobby's a sweet boy dude. Dude, this is AI. This is not AI dance order dude. We just had to would you die for Bobby? Dude this is AI Dude it's cuz we're calling everybody who was on that Canada show we did Also, don't forget to invest in cybernet. All right, man. I love you, Dan. You picking up, dude, just made my day. I bless your Saturday.

Starting point is 00:23:11 God bless you. God bless you, Dan. God bless you, Ralph. God bless everybody. Bye-bye. God bless America. Now what else? That's it.

Starting point is 00:23:19 I win. How you been lately? What, you're going from that to this? What the fuck? Why, because you lost that fucking thing? Dude, how long are you going to that to this what the fuck why because you lost that fucking thing dude I have friends bro. You're gonna focus on that We just finished everything's about you. Oh He's been having a bad day. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, well, I'm not in a bad day

Starting point is 00:23:37 I mean you have a bad mood. I wasn't a bad mood went earlier I just woken up I'm it thinks everybody's in a bad mood all the time. I know, dude. He said, I was trying to make him laugh. And he's like, bro, this wasn't funny stuff you were saying. Yeah. But seriously, do you want to do a show in Dallas on a Wednesday? I'm being real. I'm being real. I would love to. Because I will get the ball rolling on it. Yeah, let's do it.

Starting point is 00:24:00 And so I'll call you and let you know what Wednesday is good for you We should do an off night like that. Oh, can we do in like the second half of January late January? He's he's having his next special his second special in San Diego What day I'm filming January 18th? She would do it after that. Yes. Oh, yeah. Okay. Fine Hulu, right? Yeah, oh wait. can I say that yet? I think you can. Did you get a proper press release? No. No, but I know because I'm doing one for Hulu too.

Starting point is 00:24:31 Do you work directly with Hulu? What do you mean? Do you work directly with Hulu? Yeah, I do directly. In December, right? In December, are they having... You walk into Hulu headquarters every morning. And with your couple joysys you're like, hey Deborah.

Starting point is 00:24:46 How about this, December, are you going to New York for the stand-up release thing? I'll be there too. Okay. Yeah? So why can't we say that we're working for them? Okay, because you're not like part of Hulu corporate. Either are you, Ralph. Okay, so I can't say it so you can't either.

Starting point is 00:25:00 Or then erase it. That's up to your producers. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But how do you promote it, Ralph? Dude, you're a strange man. Because sometimes your logic doesn't make sense, but it does. Hey, mechanic. What's your name? I don't want to call you that. Luis? Hey, mechanic.

Starting point is 00:25:22 Hey, car boy. My name's always rude. I'm a bad, I just, Luis. Luis. More Italian, yeah. So Luis. Forget it, dude. Forget it, Luis, dude. So we're going to do it Wednesday.

Starting point is 00:25:32 Wednesday. The third week in January. You'll be back from San Diego. Yeah. Right? And we're just going to have maybe two shows or one? Two shows. I always do two shows.

Starting point is 00:25:40 Always do shows on Wednesday. I always do shows on Wednesday. I always do shows on Wednesday. I always do shows on Wednesday. I always do shows on Wednesday. I always do shows on Wednesday. I always do shows on Wednesday. Right, and we're just gonna have maybe two shows or one? Two shows, I always do two shows. Always do shows on Wednesday. Why not?

Starting point is 00:25:50 And then the money will go to what? You wanna split the money or do you wanna like, do it, like give it to Alexa? You gotta ask me that on air. So what do you mean? What's charity you give? Like a charity or something. All right.

Starting point is 00:26:02 Oh no, you know what we'll do? This is what we're gonna do. We're gonna take all the, I'm gonna make a deal with Oh no, you know what we'll do? This is what we're going to do. We're going to take all the money. I'm going to make a deal with Addison. You've got to give us cash. Okay. Right? And then we go to a strip club and use all of it.

Starting point is 00:26:12 All of it. All of it! We're using it. Luis, you want to lap dance? Yeah, dude. You're going to get your nubs nubbed, man. I'm so down. This was a perfect opportunity to like help.

Starting point is 00:26:23 You're getting your nubs rubbed. I said nubs nubbed. Screw it. You're going to get your nubs nubbed man I'm so down this was a perfect opportunity to like your nubs rubbed I mean not I said rubs nub screw it yeah you're gonna get your rubs nubbed dude yeah yeah yeah rub the nub yeah yeah I'm down let's do it so that's the it's gonna be charity for the strippers okay one shows pay on strippers the other show to a real charity yeah what I don't know't know. What do you, what do you, what's dear to your heart? Nothing. I hate all diseases. Okay. I do. I don't have a favorite one. Okay. I don't have a favorite disease. I think if I were to think of a favorite disease. Tell us in the comments where to donate it to. Yeah, yeah. I think you know um I think liver failure is one, that's my favorite. I guess

Starting point is 00:27:04 liver failure. No that's just gonna help old Bastards who didn't know how to put the bottle down. Oh, okay a liver failure for kids. Yeah, maybe liver failure for kids What about what are the other? Dallas ones these are diseases specifically in Dallas or just No, you know what? Um, what's it? What's a charity for people that have Harlequin Ichi Oasis? I want to donate to that. What is that? I don't you can't Google it little fuck. Oh, it's just the holes one It's not the holes one. What's the holes one? Don't worry. They have holes in their hands and feet. No, no, no No, don't show that. No, no, no, don't show first of all. He brought that up last podcast

Starting point is 00:27:43 He did you Mexicans are fucking obsessed with holes in the body. He brings it up all the time because he knows I'm afraid of it though. Yeah, everyone's afraid of holes in their body, dude. That's not supposed to be there. Yeah. Are you afraid of these holes? But I can't look at it. Oh, yeah, yeah, me either.

Starting point is 00:27:57 Look up Harley Quinn Itchiosis. We'll blur it out. We'll blur it out. But it's a skin disease where they're not... It's really sad. Yeah, they don't... It's sad. Yeah, just look right there. They don't have a layer of skin. I don't want to look back. it up but it's a it's a skin disease where they're not they yeah they they don't it's sad yeah just look right there they don't have a lot of I don't want to look back I saw it all right so my point is is that the week what about

Starting point is 00:28:11 that one how do we cure it we get the pine skin dude it's so sad okay we're donating to Harley Quinn each else's then yeah we'll donate to harley going to geese's there because we it's it's it's disease that people don't talk about a lot if you think about it both the shows are in a way, they're both being donated to skin. Wow. You know? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:28:34 It's just one skin you want to touch and one you want to help them. That's interesting. One, they don't have skin. Yeah. There it is. First, that's what you guys are donating to. The Foundation for Itchiosis and related skin types. Yeah, I think we should donate to that. Wait, why does he eat sushi? You see what I'm saying? You spoil him, bro.

Starting point is 00:28:53 Oh, he's never had it. We gotta ask him. He's never had it before. We eat sushi all the time. It's the first time you've had sushi. You liar. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

Starting point is 00:29:02 wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, first time you've eaten sushi or had a bite yet? I've never had a bite. You've never had a bite? I'm pretty sure you have. Put the whole thing in your mouth and eat it. Wait, Jules, is that the raw one or the California roll? California roll. That's the cook, we'll start there first. Let's start with California roll, go ahead.

Starting point is 00:29:32 Little soy sauce. Yeah, yeah. Eat the whole thing. One bite? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, there you go. Nah, bro, don't spit it out. No, don't do it, it's so good, dude.

Starting point is 00:29:43 Keep going, keep going. Yeah. It's an acquired taste. Yeah, just chew it. No, don't put another, don't put it out. It's so good. Keep going, keep going. It's an acquired taste. Yeah, just chew it. No, don't put another, don't put a ginger strip in there. Eat the green stuff, it makes it taste better. No, no, no. You're kidding, you're kidding. Whoa!

Starting point is 00:29:55 Be careful. Trust me. Yeah, yeah. Bro, just trust me. Yeah. Do you like it? Maybe he has to try a raw one without the mayo. Sashimi maybe.

Starting point is 00:30:03 Let's get a sashimi going. Give me a California roll. Yeah, yeah, give him a California roll, dude. Jules, give him a sashimi, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. You gotta try the sashimi. You gotta try that, you gotta try that. Give me a California, I'm gonna eat one.

Starting point is 00:30:13 He's very good with those chopsticks for never having sushi before, I think. You might like that, it's cooked eel. Bro, he doesn't even like ramen. Get him the eel. Wow, that's crazy. All he likes is hot pockets and chicken nuggets. Yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:24 You know what I would do is take some soy sauce and mix it with some wasabi. Just a little bit, I think it gives it a nice little tang. Try the eel. Try it, bro. Try the eel, you might like the eel. What's going on with your face? Are you allergic?

Starting point is 00:30:35 I'm allergic to soy. Dude, that is so good. How do you not like that? How do you not like that? That's classic, dude. It's so classic good. This one, this one. No. That's raw. Yeah no. Just try it. Just try one. Yeah so you gotta dig it. Put

Starting point is 00:30:51 some soy sauce. No that's plastic dude. Why do they have plastic? It's for decoration dude. You need to dip it in some sauce for sure. There's some soy sauce right up here in the middle. Yeah. Also put wasabi on there Yeah, you gotta put some wasabi in there too. A tiny bit, bro. A tiny bit. Hey, look at this thing. Yeah, what does that mean? I'm a robot.

Starting point is 00:31:10 I have a question for you. Yeah. Have you ever shared a girl with Jaime? No, hell no. I wouldn't even share my water bottle with Jaime. Really? I thought you were best friends. I'd share my water with him, but not a girl.

Starting point is 00:31:27 Here we go, here we go. Raw fish for the first time and go. Eat the whole thing? Yeah. No way. Yeah, dude. Eat the whole thing. One bite?

Starting point is 00:31:37 Yeah, one bite, dude. Oh, fuck no. Yeah, eat the whole thing. Grow, you need to grow. You need to grow, dude. Eat the whole thing. If you eat it, you're gay. Ah! Cheese, not bad. Not bad. Chew it grow, dude. Eat the whole thing. If you eat it, you're gay. Ah! Ah!

Starting point is 00:31:45 Ah! Ah! She's not bad. Not bad. Chew it, chew it, chew it! Chew it, chew it, chew it! Chew, chew, chew! Chew, chew, chew!

Starting point is 00:31:53 Swallow it, swallow! Swallow it! Swallow it! Oh, you're out, or you're not gonna do the show Wednesday. Swallow it. You're not gonna do the show! You're not gonna do our show in Dallas, I promise you not.

Starting point is 00:32:04 You better chew it. Yeah, you're not gonna, no, no., I promise you not. You're not gonna do it, no no. Use some water. Just chew it! Use some water. No no no no no no! Don't even! Enjoy. Enjoy?

Starting point is 00:32:15 Enjoy, enjoy it. Enjoy it. Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah. It feels weird in my mouth. I know, that's exactly it. The way you just put it in my mouth. Yeah know that's exactly the way just put it in yeah. Yeah, yeah It's not it now that you have eating the ceremonial I can tell you the secrets of my planet sushi Tron

Starting point is 00:32:37 rules by the fish people Just swallow it whoa, swallow it. Wow dude. You swallow worse. If you spit it into the fucking water bottle, I'm done with you. You're shitting on my fucking heritage. Can you let me have one of those? Yeah. This one? The one I made.

Starting point is 00:33:00 What is the other one? The eel. He'll like the eel. He's not going to like the eel. With the sauce? If he doesn't like that. It has teriyaki sauce on it. Yeah. Yeah, I've actually never tried an eel one. Oh, yeah Why do you ask me if I shared a girl with Jaime? Do you think that that's the life we live? That's what he says. He says it all the time that we share girls all the time Every other episode you're like, yeah, you tell stories like yeah this girl Veronica or whatever and I'm like yeah We shared a girl over sushi Off her body. Yeah, yeah never again. That's not true

Starting point is 00:33:34 That's absolutely not true we're gonna do it all the time because you need to train yourself. This is ridiculous. I've had enough Right Luis right you eat sushi right Luis Yeah, that's right, bro. Luis, you want somebody sushi, bro? I'll give you that. I'll give you that. That's good. Okay, how about that one? Eat the one that Ralph's holding. Yeah, yeah, you got some eel. It's cooked. Trust me, it's good, bro. Yeah, you're gonna love it. Eat eel. Just get one. Eat an eel. This soy sauce was open already. Who opened the soy sauce? I mean... Whole thing, dude. You got to... Whole thing, Jaime. You don't opened the soy sauce Holding holding dude you got a whole thing Jaime You don't need a son to tell people when you open soy sauce broke cuz look at my fingers. Where's this gone?

Starting point is 00:34:10 This eel is eel for my first time. Yeah. Thank you Go go it's sweet whole thing Whole thing dude go if I get sick from this and what what are you gonna do? Everybody takes the risk, bro Those I swear go If I get sick from this. And what? What are you gonna do? Everybody takes the risk, bro. I swear. Cool. There we go. Sweet. That was pretty good, right?

Starting point is 00:34:31 It almost tastes like tuna. Oh my God. Yeah, I know. I'm gonna gag on this. What? Oh, come on. Come on, dude. I saw you eat a spoonful of mayo once.

Starting point is 00:34:40 No, no, no, no, do not, do not, or you're not gonna do our show on Wednesday. That's good. You are out, okay? Slow it down, dude. Enjoy. Just maybe think about why you like it. Yeah. Jules, you eat raw fish. You know what I think of when you're chewing eel, think of No, not the studio. Not the studio. Not my studio, brother. Yeah, yeah. In Indian. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There we go. No, do not. Yeah, yeah. Don't say that again. Dude, that's racist. That's racist, dude.

Starting point is 00:35:15 That's racist. No, I was testing to see if you were racist. And that's the test. And let me say something, you're a racist person. And I've had enough of it. And homophobic. And homophobic, dude. If we would have said penis, you would have been like, that's fine.

Starting point is 00:35:30 That's fine. Indian man, dude, eel, come on, dude. It does not taste like that. And it doesn't even look like it tastes like that. Okay, no, swallow. No, no, swallow! Swallow, swallow, swallow. Swallow.

Starting point is 00:35:46 What? Swallow! Swallow, swallow, swallow. Swallow. I'm going to... Oh! What? I'm gonna gag. Okay, we got it. He's like crying. I know. I know.

Starting point is 00:35:53 I know. I know. I know. I know. What is that? Wow. Did you wanna hit it? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:36:00 Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is disgusting. It's not. This one was. Oh, so they just proceed to get worse? He liked the California roll, at least. The California roll is pretty good. Okay.

Starting point is 00:36:11 Here, bro, you do a California roll. Finish up. Yeah, finish up with the California roll. It's just mayo. It's just mayo. How mad would you be about the roll right now? It'd be fun for the podcast, you know? Oh, God.

Starting point is 00:36:21 Do you sell parts of your soul for the podcast? Not like literally like, hey, here's a part of my soul You are if the devil wants to make this better But do you feel like that would piss you off in a normal setting if somebody threw up on your stuff I imagine but if it's for the podcast like What you're basically saying is this okay? You think that we're essentially ourselves when we do stand-up comedy. Do I think I'm selling myself? No, do you think we're ourselves you think that it's an ourselves when we do stand-up comedy? Do I think I'm selling myself? No, do you think we're ourselves?

Starting point is 00:36:46 Do you think that it's an exaggerated version of ourselves? Yeah, food in your mouth? Yeah, yeah. We're performing, no, Ralph. It's an exaggerated version of ourselves. I didn't appreciate that at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah, because you did that earlier, dude. I did not like that at all right there.

Starting point is 00:37:00 All right, that's in your face. I did not do it like that. Yeah, you did. Do it to me, then. Yeah, see? Less effort. Less effort, right? Let's do it both at the same time.

Starting point is 00:37:10 Right, one, two, and not laugh. If you laugh. Jaime can't do the show on Wednesday. If you laugh. Jaime can't do the show on Wednesday. If you laugh. Close your eyes for us. One, two, three.

Starting point is 00:37:28 I'm not doing the show. Why? Because your eyes are so wide. Wow. Wow. That's incredible. What are you saying though? I should go after that girl? Yeah. Is she let me ask you something from one to ten can you tell me what how hot she is or mmm? I know that's not everything but you know in my opinion 10 Well, then you have ever then you have to look for yeah, you have to and what does she do for a living? Can you say or no? I don't know you don't even know. No. Yeah, I do know. Yeah Is she a fan of your comedy? That I don't know. Yeah, sure she is. Because she um I'm pretty

Starting point is 00:38:08 sure she wasn't lying I don't think she knew who I was when I first met her. Wow. I met her at a restaurant. Wow that's the best way to do it. I met a girl you know I don't remember if you remember but I'm in a really nice. When did you meet a girl? What are you talking about Willis? Yeah yeah. I've done it in my life. Yeah? Yeah. Okay, so tell me about this girl you met. Well, I'm just saying I was in a tea shop in Spokane, Washington and I met a beautiful

Starting point is 00:38:34 How long ago was this? A year ago. Okay. And I met a beautiful woman at a tea shop in Spokane, Washington. Did she drink tea as well? That's a good question. No,'s why I'm not saying it's Dama. Because they sell they sell more stuff than tea at tea shops. Yeah right. They have coffee. They have coffee. Pastries. Sometimes coffee shops have tea.

Starting point is 00:38:56 Oh you gotta try donut bro.. Yeah, cuz right on it For a second, okay At this stop At this tea shop. They did not sell her coffee. It was organically tea. I know we're gonna only tea traditionally tea I thought our tea is organic technically. Yeah. Yeah, I used the wrong. I used to wrong work That's why I corrected myself. Gotcha. I used the, yeah, got you. So anyway, have a donut.

Starting point is 00:39:30 Have a donut. So you and this girl, you guys get it on or what? At one point we did, yes, anyway. Yeah? At one point, yeah, my point- She didn't know who you were? No, yeah, she didn't know who I was. She never watched mad TV or something The way you said that it was so condescending go fuck

Starting point is 00:39:51 It was almost like oh, you're not asking on SNL. Is that what it is? No, that's what that vibe was Yeah, I couldn't get on SNL do I know you probably heard this a lot of times, but let's be real SNL You know it gets up and down and it's like funniness There's like they're peeking they're peeking and they're down That TV is pretty funny because they were a little more like it's fucking down to earth. You know goddamn. I love you, dude Anyway, um well yeah, go ahead Upside down yeah, hmm. Yeah good, huh? Eat it whatever yeah, it is whatever is it good it. It's whatever. Yeah it is whatever. Is it good though? It's fine. Yeah it's good. Yeah. Anyway um what I'm saying is is that it's good that she doesn't

Starting point is 00:40:33 know who you are this girl right because that's you know I was just kind of related I don't know why but it's a long way around but I was just kind of related into like yeah it's cool. Let's finish. I'm listening listening no you're not you're not just finished I'm not listening you're struggling with cream you said it's I've never seen a long struggle with cream before it's a long way to get around to this but yeah it's perfect time to bring up the donut yeah long way to lose how That's all? What? I think so. When did I meet? Sit here, Louis. Hey, Bobby! It's me, your friend, Mr. Donut!

Starting point is 00:41:10 Whoa! What is going on here, dude? He's a little drunk. Alright. That's it. Louis, you want the other half of his donut, bro? No. I don't eat donuts. Go back. Go back. I was just like, I was how long in six months and that's all

Starting point is 00:41:26 Why this whole fucking thing, you know, I mean go back The cream is not evenly distributed around the oh my god, dude. Let me see it dude I'll tell you if it's evenly distributed. It's not I ripped it in half. How are you gonna tell me? Why did you have to touch all of it? To rip it in half. Yeah. Yeah, I'm gonna eat part of it. I'll tell you if it's good or not. And then it has coconut in there. Is this the one? No, that's not the one I was eating. That one has cream too, right?

Starting point is 00:41:52 Why don't they just, you know, whatever happens to good old... That dough looks so good. I don't care what you say. Just put the bread, some icing on top. Like, I don't need the cream in there. This is coconut, right? Oh, wow. I don't like coconut. Anyway, take this away, please. I is coconut right? Oh wow. I don't like coconut. Anyway take this away. So you might let's go back to the girl. You never have like chips and like lays and like. Can you do me a favor? Take the sushi away. I can smell it. It's driving me crazy dude. Yeah yeah. Take it.

Starting point is 00:42:20 Pringles in there. Yeah yeah. I mean mean, that doesn't count though. Smells like penis. I guess it counts. People have been eating out of these? Put that down, Ralph. What the fuck are you doing? Take him to dinner after this. So Ralph, what happened, bro? I was just trying to make a point that like...

Starting point is 00:42:38 Is it mine? Yeah, man. I'm so shit in this, man. I know that you think I'm rude right now because I'm like interrupting you and I do apologize for interrupting you even though you're trying to tell me something important. Yeah. But you offered me food, you offered a drink and I'm just making sure that it's mine and you can't get mad where I'm like, yo, this is for me, right?

Starting point is 00:42:59 When like you brought it, bro. It's like if a girl got mad that I brought up using a condom when we're at her place and the condom was there like. But I would make it you know if I let me ask you if I if I'm on somebody's podcast and there's a bottle of water right in front of me I would just make the assumption that it would be mine. What if okay because there's one there's a water right there what is somebody what if somebody had been sitting there because that's time I was here. Yeah no one's ever sat there.

Starting point is 00:43:25 No, but this was not how it was set up last time I was here. Yeah, but you realize it's a different configuration. What's wrong? Let me sit now. Are you being real? Yeah, this is real, man. Yes. What is going on?

Starting point is 00:43:41 Little baby. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've made him. Honestly, dude, drink some water. Okay? And. Yeah. Yeah. I've made it honestly dude drink some water Okay, and man up and man up dude. All right, be a man. Don't go all my baby hood Okay, you think I should go after this girl? Yeah. Thank you. We're back on track. Yeah, go back Yeah, I think this is good because if you meet a girl after a show and they're big Ralph Bobo's a fan You don't know what our intentions are right, but this is great. It's organic It's the way you know so and you said she's a ten. I have a good feeling about this. What do you guys think guys?

Starting point is 00:44:10 I don't care what you guys think Hey, do you think you're ever gonna get married? Well, that's a very good question I'd have to To be honest with you Probably not mean either bro. Yeah me too, bro, because I'll tell you why I because I think I'm a Ronin what is it like a like a rogue? It's like Ronin is like a what is it like a banished samurai? Yeah, dude They're so good. You're smart. Who banished you? Nobody was just a like women banished you. Yes Yeah, yeah, they're so good. You're smart. Who banished you? Nobody, it was just a... Like women banished you?

Starting point is 00:44:45 Yes. Yeah? Yeah, yeah. If a woman is... Also... Let me finish. Okay. Let me think of it.

Starting point is 00:44:56 If a woman's like a Japanese empire. Okay. Right? You have to make master, that's right. Yeah, forget it. Anyway, yeah, women did banish me. I think that I won't actually get married but I'll settle down Do you want to have so good? We're all like on the same page

Starting point is 00:45:11 Settle down on a ranch and a farm with animals. I have a pond at my house and uh The neighbor put fish in there and you don't like it we share the pond catching them all But I put a koi fish Is that where you don't like it we share the pond catching them all but I put a koi fish catch your fishes yeah you saw the pictures what did I miss a what that you catch fish in your house in my house outside my house at my house he talks in bait click form I mean we'll say something that sounds like the most interesting version and it's technically true. Like the information's in the sentence is just not correct.

Starting point is 00:45:52 Yeah, we were at a club and I'm with Bobby Lee and they killed him. I'm like, they killed Bobby. He's like, no, some guy got killed. I see. I see. I see. Yeah. Yeah. yeah. But yes. What's going on?

Starting point is 00:46:06 When you come to do the shows, you come fish with me. Yeah, probably not. You eat it? Probably not going to happen. You eat it? Nah, I don't trust that pond. But here's what I need. I want you to set up a really nice, Luis, you guys know a really nice, I want to eat a

Starting point is 00:46:21 nice Texas Hispanic meal. Texas Hispanic meal? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't meal you know what that is well like the best Mexican restaurant I don't even okay there's a few I mean yeah yeah I'll take you somewhere I got you no no but we're gonna take me Terry's Terry's barbecue that's not Mexican food he wants makes Terry's business is what he says, you don't listen to what I'm What is wrong you both don't how do you guys communicate over the years? How this relationship even developed Yeah, you're the link with the robot. I'm robot man, and then you do the fucking donut face You know me yeah, don't do that again dead right, and then you're just like oh my

Starting point is 00:47:02 My point is is this it's like what are you communicating to that's not have no idea what the fuck is going on. My point is this, it's like. What are you communicating to? That's not his voice, dude. Human master. That's good. Anyway. Um. You deserve rewards. You deserve the life built B-I-L-T for your rent.

Starting point is 00:47:23 Listen up, lorenters. Every feel like you're stick in a loop of rent payments, just watching your money vanish into thin air, it's time to turn that rent game around and start earning some serious rewards. Well, that's where BILT Rewards comes in. Now, listen, Jules, you don't pay rent right now, but if you do, you gotta do BILT, I'll tell you why.

Starting point is 00:47:40 Because your money's not going to waste, okay? You're getting points and rewards. There's no cost to join Built, and as a member, you'll earn valuable points on rent and on your everyday spending. Built points can be transferred to your favorite hotels and airlines, and even the ones you haven't heard of.

Starting point is 00:47:57 There are over 500 airlines and 700,000 hotels and properties around the world. You can redeem your Built points toward. Points can also be redeemed towards a future rent payment and properties around the world. You can redeem your built points toward. Points can also be redeemed towards a future rent payment and unique experiences that only built members can access. So if you're not earning points on rent, my question is, why not? Why not Bobby?

Starting point is 00:48:14 Why not? Start earning points on rent you're already paying by going to joinbuilt.com slash belly. That's J-O-I-N-B-I-L-T dot com slash belly. Make sure you use our URLs so they know that we sent you. Jointbill.com slash belly to start earning points on your rent payments today. ["Jingle Bells"] Hello. Granddaddy.

Starting point is 00:48:37 Wait, how old were you when you met him? Oh, when I met him, you could get a gallon of milk for no more than a dime. What is happening here? What is happening here? Yeah, yeah. I remember during the First World War, I was just a little girl.

Starting point is 00:48:58 All the men went to war, and when they came back, I was more than a woman. Wow, because you had a factory job. Oh Me the work the factory But my fingers they can detect the stress Luckily for me my supervisor she was a lesbian Yeah, I wasn't much of a lesbian myself, but I would miss she was an attractive woman. I didn't mind doing things for compensation

Starting point is 00:49:30 Wow, so we have two women here that were we're in World War two housewives and their husbands went to we have another woman I never said I had a husband. Yeah. Yeah, I know anyway, but we have another woman here I like to interview her too. This is a Ken Burns documentary. So during World War II, what did you do? I cooked and I cleaned and I washed. My friend Glenda. No, no, no, we already did Glenda's, I'm sorry, it's a documentary. So we already interviewed Glenda, all right.

Starting point is 00:50:01 So what is your name, ma'am? Glenda. You're Glenda and Glenda. Glenda and Glenda. Glenda and Glenda? Wow, the odds. So tell us, during World War II, what factory did you have? We met at a name tag factory. A name tag factory.

Starting point is 00:50:16 She accidentally got my name tag. Oh, I see. And so, wait, her name was something else, but then she got yours or her name is Granta but she took the Glenda one. Oh, and you took the Granta one? Everybody at the factory for my first six months was calling me Granta. Oh wow To this day I have friends that think my name is Granta Yeah, we had your interview now and I'm gonna go back to uh, Granta. Okay, so Granta What did you do at the factory?

Starting point is 00:50:44 I made Named name tags and shoes. I made the two hands. My husband, Bob, he died in World War II. Yeah, I'm so sorry about that. What battle did he die in? The World War II. I know, but what battle, what battle in World War II did he die in?

Starting point is 00:51:04 The World War II did he die in? Normandy was it Normandy was it what you know hey Bob. He's the producer. Can you get the exact battle, please? Yeah, I need to I know John I'm trying to get the rain a light. I understand that they were losing the light, but dude I mean this lady I feel like it she's even lying to me that there's no husband named Bob So anyway what time left sir? I know I'm sorry. So what battle was it? Sir, it's been so long my friend Linda. Okay So anyway, what time left sir? I know I'm sorry. So what battle was it? Sir, it's been so long my friend Linda. Okay, like we're Bobby bitch It's you I think what he she's trying to say is that Bob her husband slept with

Starting point is 00:51:47 Glenda and Brenda's husband Bob fucked Glenda. Yeah. Yeah, so Glenda. Did you fuck her husband Bob fucked Glenda yeah yeah so Glenda did you fuck her husband Bob yes I did you fucked people with your potty mouths excuse me you young people and your nasty words we didn't call it fucking okay what did you call it what did you call it sexual intercourse no what bopping

Starting point is 00:52:03 we called it mixing punans. Oh, so you guys mixed punans. We mixed punans. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And he was a very good man. And granted it. And then you bitch. You did it.

Starting point is 00:52:14 You bitch. And even after we had him. Don't argue. Don't argue. Do you know where Bob died? What battle did Bob die in? He died inside of me. Oh, my.

Starting point is 00:52:24 Oh, that battle. That God. Oh, that battle. Oh, the battle of Punani. The battle of Punani. He died in the battle. Wow, and so that's why you didn't know. You knew that Bob died when he was having, you know what I mean, bopping, or no, doing Punani. What do you call it?

Starting point is 00:52:39 Battle of Punani. Mixing Punanis. Mixing Punanis. And so you were ashamed, and you're angry still. Yes, he left him the house Okay, I'm so sorry anyway that you know what dude I think we should go to tomorrow we'll go to Houston Yeah, we got that other old lady. I think this we have to cut this. Yeah Anyway, thank you so much Glenda and Grenda.

Starting point is 00:53:05 Thank you. For, yeah, you're welcome. Bobby, they didn't even pay for the flight over here. I had to pay it out of my own pocket. Wait, wait, wait, excuse me, lady. I was supposed to be on the Boeing 747, and I was on the 737. My knees can't handle the space.

Starting point is 00:53:22 Wow, wow. This is what you guys did as kids? Seriously, what? That's what we do as adults. You guys smoke weed, as I said, you guys used to smoke weed. I could see these guys. This man didn't smoke weed too. He was an adult.

Starting point is 00:53:32 Really? But how old was that when you guys met? Again? Ten. Probably like ten, eleven. Ten or eleven. Ten. Oh, that's so cute.

Starting point is 00:53:41 What was he like then? Have we talked about that already? Bro, he was just the same. He was weird, bro. Weird guy. Like I would walk home from school and he wasn't in my class. We were in the same grade, but he'd walk, we lived on the same street, so he was walking the same direction. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:53:54 He would just talk to me. Like if I already knew him, he was like, yeah, there's one kid today. He was being bad and the teacher told him to stop talking, but he wouldn't stop talking so they moved him out of the class and they thought it was me and I got in trouble. I'm like, who are you? Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow. And then eventually he kind of just, you just kind of gave in.

Starting point is 00:54:09 Yeah, the next, the following year he was in my class. I was like, I'll see with this guy, I know him. Did he, he just knew he got good grades. Hyra? Yeah. For the level of classes he was in, they were good. But what level was it? I don't want to say it. Oh, go, go, go, okay. You want me to say it?

Starting point is 00:54:27 What level are you talking about? He used to like, him and all my friends, to be fair, I only hung out with people who did less, like who didn't do as well as me academically. Oh, you did good. I did, yeah, I did pretty good. But I hung out with only like knuckleheads, I guess. Right. And you would say the high man's...

Starting point is 00:54:45 Yeah, I get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But yeah, so like all my friends were like, they had like special fucking privileges where like they'd hand out an assignment, high man, like two other of my friends would raise their hand and they'd go to this thing called CMC where they like helped them. I think it us the answers. They did. Bro, yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:06 Wow. I was just there. Left to do it on my own. Now when you started doing stand-up, he was like coming to your shows. Yeah. He'd wear his Metro PCS shirt as he worked there. He was so, he was way too proud of that job. But you know what's so sweet though?

Starting point is 00:55:22 You know, I really... Have you guys ever fought? Have you guys ever fought? Yeah, one time. You remember the recorders? Did you ever have to learn to play recorders? I love recorders. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:55:28 Yeah, I love them. One time I broke one on his head. You broke a recorder on his head? Yeah. Why? You're making me mad. Oh, fuck. He took my Legos.

Starting point is 00:55:37 I broke the Lego. I didn't take them. He wanted them during my school project. I didn't say I wanted them. I just was mad that. Bro, he made the whole bridge to Terabithia and I was kind of jealous Yeah, so I was trying to like destroy it just to like mess with him He got mad so we started fighting and youth broke a fucking recorder on his head

Starting point is 00:55:53 Wow, and I just kept walking. Yeah, would you but it let's let's get real here Do you love him? All right. No, no fuck you just get real. Stop, stop, Jaime, look at me right now. Yeah, there we go, that's what I want. You know what, SpongeBob, when he's like, you like Krabby Patty, don't you, Squidward? Yeah. Do you love Jaime? He's all right.

Starting point is 00:56:18 No, do you love Jaime? He's all right. If Jaime died, would you cry? He's all right. If Jaime died, would you cry? He's all right. Really? He's all right. I can't believe it. I can't believe it.

Starting point is 00:56:33 With the history, there's no way. Let me ask you, Jaime. Do you love Ralph Boboza? Yes. Deeply. Wow, bro. Yeah, real deeply. He's all right.

Starting point is 00:56:43 Oh my God. No, dude. I love this man. I know you do. I love this yeah, yeah, real deeply. He's all right. No. Oh my God. No, dude. We're getting started. I love this man.

Starting point is 00:56:49 I know you do. I love this man. I know you do. But he has diabetes, so. You have diabetes? Yeah. What part, what time, type? What part?

Starting point is 00:56:57 What part and type? The first type. Oh yeah, what part of your body? The whole thing? I guess. Okay. I don't think that, I don't think that you could get it in parts I don't know much about it so I don't ask like

Starting point is 00:57:09 if you know you don't go you know sometimes I will be Hispanics diabetics okay my bad yeah what type type two one okay I'm sorry you had any diseases I'll go diabetic too no I'm not I'm pre but diabetic I'm sorry. You had any diseases? You're diabetic too. No, I'm not. I'm pre-bi-diabetic. I'm not fully diet. When's the last time you got checked? He's probably full by now. No, three weeks ago. I'm not.

Starting point is 00:57:30 I'm pre. He's full. I'm not fucking full, bro. I'm an alcoholic. That's a disease. Maybe in LA. No, it's the medical community causing the disease. Yeah?

Starting point is 00:57:38 What medical committee? The medical committee. The medical committee. The medical committee. The medical committee. The medical committee. The medical committee. The medical committee. The medical committee. The medical it's the medical community causing the disease. Yeah, what medical committee?

Starting point is 00:57:50 All of it. How many people are in the medical, what is it called? Committee. Committee? Yeah, committee. How many people are in this committee? I've never even heard of a medical committee. What do they even do?

Starting point is 00:58:01 They just sit around like, you know what? They have charts. This is a disease, this is an illness, this is a syndrome. Yeah. And this is just you being a little biatch. Oh, you think that's what alcoholism is, a biatch disease? But there is things that fall under that category and they have to like, come on, that's not it. I know you wax your eyebrows.

Starting point is 00:58:17 I don't. Yeah, there's 100%. My little sister plugs them. No, Hispanics aren't supposed to have thin ones like that, dad. I don't wax them. My little sister plugs them. Oh, okay. Yeah, but they're sometimes something's happening. Yeah. Yeah, but now what you said The dude you're getting so computational. I'm gonna tell you another thing dude. You fucking trim your nose hairs I don't actually never have you don't have any nose hairs. I don't always impossible I don't know if I I'm pretty sure I have them, but I've never trimmed them. You've stored them into your face

Starting point is 00:58:42 I just go a lot. Okay. What's so funny cheeky? Just everything God you're so cute. Why are you judging us right now? You're judging everybody at this table, right? I'm not. What are your thoughts on this relationship Jules? I think they're like real friends. Yeah, but I'm just You don't want to share girls? That's like a nice thing. That's what? You're from here from LA? I'm from the Philippines. You're from the Philippines? Do you guys share boys a lot?

Starting point is 00:59:16 I've never tried but I've heard some. Yeah? You'd be okay with two guys sharing you? No. All right then. All right then. In your face. Yeah. I just owned everybody at this table during this podcast. I know you did. This has been the Ralph Barbosa podcast.

Starting point is 00:59:32 Follow me at RalphBarbosa03. We're not done yet, dude. There's a lot of things we have to get to the bottom of. Okay, fair enough. Okay, don't do that. Don't do what, take control? You already took control. All right.

Starting point is 00:59:44 You, you, you, what? He didn't believe me that I did good at the comedy store. I didn't ever say I didn't believe you. No, you've seen him bomb in front of you, right? Yes. I've seen him bomb and then he still thinks he killed. Oh, that's his ick, bro. No, no. When? Quite a few times.

Starting point is 01:00:03 When? I'm not going to name specific ones, but I haven't, Bobby. I've seen you perform so many times. I've seen you kill. Bobby hates this. I've seen you bomb. No, no, no, Ralph. I'm not saying he does it often. Wait, wait, wait.

Starting point is 01:00:13 I know, no, stop, stop. Even if he did it once, okay? That's not good. No. No, no, don't do it, don't do it, no. I've seen you eat sushi. Don't do that. Okay? Now look at me right now, dude, all right? Don't deceive yourself, all right? So let me ask you a question. Have you bombed and thought I did good? Yes.

Starting point is 01:00:34 Stop doing that. Okay. Okay, because you can't improve then. Oh yeah. You have to know when you do bad, okay? No, don't point at this because laughing he's a headliner dude Specials headliner big audience. This is the second time. I've seen an Asian man teach you how to do your job and both times I'm sure you're not acknowledging it What's the first agent what time we're working at a an assembly line motors together? Yeah, and

Starting point is 01:01:01 Is I love this we had to get there like really early. Yeah, yeah. We had to leave really early to beat the traffic. This man doesn't matter if he gets 10 hours of sleep. If he's bored, he's not moving, he'll fall asleep again. Oh, he's got to keep going. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we're at this job and there's like different like torque wrenches for different parts of the engine, like use this for that that and you got to remember like Little specific directions. So every now and then we mess up and the guy who was in charge of showing us how to do stuff He was Asian man and he was like getting after the Heimlich because he kept messing up and so he's like lecturing Heimlich He's like no you got to do this and do that. Did he have an accent? He did. Do it then. I'm trying to. I need the story He's like you do this and do that. Oh, let me do it. You have to do this He did. Then do it then. I'm trying to. I need the story. He's like, you do this and do that.

Starting point is 01:01:46 Oh, let me do it. You have to do this and you have to do that. That sounds kind of like Japanese almost. I don't think he was Japanese. You have to do this and you have to do that. There you go. There we go. There we go.

Starting point is 01:01:55 And then, oh. And as he's talking to Hymen, we're standing up by the way. We're not like sitting down, like standing up. Yeah. Just talking to Hymen. I can't see you guys working on an assembly line. It's insane. It's like a TV show. Yeah, yeah on an assembly like a TV show no thank you anyway and as he's talking to Jaime I miss looking

Starting point is 01:02:10 at him and I was just like you fell asleep he's standing up standing up the guy thought I mean was my tongue talk you have to do this and you have to do that and you have to do no you were not holding on to nothing you're crazy wait what the fuck is this the torques oh i saw i'm sorry my bad yeah so no can you do it listen you're we're not in the scene yet oh okay so i want you to do like look at me and try to listen but through time fade away okay i think that's gonna be naturally that's gonna work well on this camera this scene all right so So, okay here wrap wrap Jaime. Let me tell you something Okay, you did when we get the component on the other side not good, you know everything broken, right?

Starting point is 01:02:53 So you have to do this you have to you have to put up and you have to do that you have to bring this up Epilepsy Those Apple left that do you're going're going through a possession. To be fair, I fell asleep a little bit sooner than that when it happened. That's what made me laugh about it. Wow. You didn't get fired? No.

Starting point is 01:03:13 He got mad. He got mad. He started snatching. He's like, hey, hey. Oh, I didn't do that part. Ready? So you have to do this. And then you have to see this level here.

Starting point is 01:03:21 You have to do like, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Like that? So you have to do this and then you see this level here. You have to do like hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

Starting point is 01:03:34 hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey How much did that pay you? Was it like 10? 10 bucks an hour? 12? 12 bucks an hour? In long days, right? Nah.

Starting point is 01:03:48 A week? No. You did only one week of it? We did two weeks? We did a good two weeks. We were going to stay there for what, three months? To get the shirts? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:03:57 I wanted the mechanic shirt. They said my name on it. Oh. But then they were like, my buddy was working there. He's like, after two weeks, they give you a shirt with your name on it. Yeah. So I was like, oh, I'll do that. And then I'll get two weeks they give you a shirt with your name on it. So I was like, all right, I'll do that. And then I'll get out of there and get a job I really want to do.

Starting point is 01:04:08 And I was actually liking it. And then I asked the guy, I was like, when do we get the shirts? Because the two weeks was up. And he's like, nah, people were quitting after they got them. So now it takes three months. And I was like, ah. Well, you couldn't do the three months. I mean, maybe.

Starting point is 01:04:24 Looking back on it, I probably should have kept the job longer. I actually did like it. But then I was like ah. Well you couldn't do the three months. I mean maybe, looking back on it I probably should have kept the job longer. I actually did like it but then I was just like it's far. When you get a job does he get the same job? Is that the thing? For a while. It's a double package? For a while yeah.

Starting point is 01:04:36 Yeah yeah, what else did you guys work together? After that we went to a warehouse. Yeah we're at a warehouse. Working together. I did a day there. Oh you only lasted a day, how long did you? The whole summer. Whole summer at a warehouse. Oh you only lasted a day. How many did you do? The whole summer. The whole summer at a warehouse.

Starting point is 01:04:47 This is straight out of high school. No college. You got no shit. No shit, no college. We have the opportunity. We get it. What are you talking about? I had plenty of opportunity. Okay. What do you mean? I went to community college.

Starting point is 01:05:00 Exactly, dude. What's up? You didn't. I did semester. Oh, you did? So you're in the warehouse, Jaime. It's up? You didn't I did semester. Oh you did So you're in the warehouse Jaime? It's hot. Yes. Okay, fine. I fell asleep too. You know how hot it was Remember the guns we had hot. Yeah. Yeah, we had guns I mean like a scanner scanning little like a pip boy from fallout beep Yeah, and we had to like go through like these big aisles and it was hot and I couldn't do it I was like falling asleep walking I had to like go through like these big aisles and it was hot and I couldn't do it.

Starting point is 01:05:25 And I was like falling asleep walking. This is crazy. It's just so crazy. Cause I had to go like beep. Yeah, but your body is moving. I've never had my body move and then fell asleep. You know what I mean? It's just like anything if I'm like churning butter.

Starting point is 01:05:39 It's like, there's no way I could fall asleep. You just haven't been sleepy enough. Good point. Really? Yeah. How often do you sleep? I've been pretty fucking sleepy. Yeah? Yeah, dude.

Starting point is 01:05:50 I shot a movie with Robert Kelly and all those guys in Canada. All right, big shot. You don't have time to sleep because you're out here shooting movies. Oh, damn. He's taking control. He's taking control. I'm sorry. We're talking about times we can't sleep. You're like, it

Starting point is 01:06:07 reminds me this time I was shooting this big Hollywood budget film. That's not what I said. This independent low-budget movie. YouTube video? Is that better for you? All right. Yeah. You're out there YouTube-ing. Yeah, I'm YouTube-ing in Canada. Okay. And they had us up at six in the morning, in the, we're camping in the woods, till like nine at night, I'm not kidding you. Sometimes two in the morning we would go, and then we'd get like four or five hours of sleep

Starting point is 01:06:35 and come back. And then, you know, for me, when I have a difficult time, like it's a ritual, I have rituals for me, I can't just come to the hotel and just, you know what I mean, I have to put my skin cream, right? You know what I mean, I have to take a shower, my scrubs, you know what I mean? Then I have to take my melatonin and my little pills.

Starting point is 01:06:52 You think the cream is working? Yeah. Oh, so anyway, yeah. I go to your ancestors. Yeah, do you answer that? They answer it to you. No, I'm saying I go to your ancestors saying your ancestors what wonder how they feel now they did probably not that pleased yeah I bet yeah I bet you too though think my ancestors yeah I bet you I catch fish

Starting point is 01:07:17 bro bro don't ever point to me bro I catch you yeah Yeah? Now listen. Put this back here. Yeah? Okay Corral dude, I'll fucking shoot you dude. Yeah dude, you wanna do it? I don't even know what else to do. Oh yeah yeah. Forget it dude. I mean I was at, you know, no sleep for five days straight.

Starting point is 01:07:40 Right? And I'm walking in the woods. I thought you said you slept four or five hours a night. Yeah but barely any sleep. Oh my god you slept four or five hours a night. Yeah, but barely any sleep. Oh my God. Four or five hours. That's pretty good. Come on. Yeah. Yeah. When I'm on him, I can't sleep. Imagine. OK, what did you say? When I'm like traveling, traveling, he will not let me sleep. Why? Because he's always up and then I'm awake.

Starting point is 01:08:00 So, you know, he's your opener. He has to do exactly what you're doing. Why not? Exactly. Sometimes. OK, every now and then, you know, he's your opener. You have to he has to do exactly what you're doing. Why not? Exactly. Sometimes. OK, every now and then, you know, your schedule gets flipped. You're moving around a lot. Oh, yeah, bro. So we're at a hotel and sometimes we have to do like the double queen because we have like other guys with us and I'm not going to get everybody their own room. So we'll do the double queens. And, you know, it's like 3 a.m.

Starting point is 01:08:22 He's like falling asleep. So I'll wait for him to be like. Right. And I go, it's like 3 a.m. he's like falling asleep. So I'll wait for him to be like... Right. And I'll go, hi man! He goes, huh? He goes, huh? And I'm like, you want to sleep or what? Really?

Starting point is 01:08:35 Wait, wait, why can't you get him his own room? Sometimes he does. Right now he has his own room. Not like I never do it. But sometimes we got more people on the road with us. Yeah, why do you need an entourage? I don't need one. Yeah, you do. It's fun. No, it's not. It's pretty fun But when it's not fun, you know, yeah, just don't do it. I go with no one. Why? Why fly guys out there, but I don't like see them

Starting point is 01:08:58 I see them at the club and then you know, we're theater and then bye. You gotta make room for all your creams theater and then bye you gotta make room for all your creams your face cream yeah yeah go ahead laugh in my face bro okay I do a lot for him you have two bosses here sometimes he's already asleep yeah he's sleeping on his side yeah and I'll let him get into like a deep sleep yeah and then I get the pillows you know like I'll make it like you know you kind of make it heavy on He's sleeping on his side and I let him get into a deep sleep and then I get the pillows and I'll make it heavy on one side and I'll just smack the shit out of him on his back. And then do you get mad? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:34 Yes. Whoa. But what do you say? He says, what the fuck? Yeah. Yeah, dude, man. I open, I sell his merch, I do his photography. Exactly.

Starting point is 01:09:46 I get the hotels. Exactly. He's okay at all of those, by the way. I'm sure he's not that great. He's not that great. Yeah, yeah. So. I'm not that great.

Starting point is 01:09:55 Calm down. Calm down, dude. I find places to eat. He does it in a horrible way. Know what I mean? One time we went from like Wisconsin to New York to Chicago. We're like in each one for a day We're barely running on any sleep at all. Wait, I'll tell you what four or five hours would have been a luxury that week

Starting point is 01:10:15 We land in Chicago like 7 a.m. Barely any sleep and We it's too early to check into the hotel. So I'm like bro where the hotels in downtown I'm like look up breakfast places downtown Chicago. I'm already so frustrated Oh, so let me can I interject real quick? That's very important to me as well finding a really good breakfast spot in any like it's Chicago I they have great ones, right? I agree. Yeah. Yeah, and it's and I love going to a mom-and-pop breakfast place where they have really good eggs Benedict or corned beef. I just, I, it's-

Starting point is 01:10:51 I'm not even picky. I'm not done talking. Oh, sorry. You know what I mean? Or nice little avocado toast. You know what I mean? It's just, sometimes they'll have pancakes you've never had, combinations.

Starting point is 01:11:03 Like their home, like boysen boys, I don't know whatever. You know what I mean? But my point being is that I do love it. You done? Nah, I agree. But I'm not even that picky. If you don't do my movie, it'll really come between us. You really think so?

Starting point is 01:11:24 Yeah, I really want you in my movie. I'm down. It's a good movie. What do I have to, what does Benny do? You can't say it. We're both, we're all, there's three people that, we're, in the Canada-American border crossing, we're border agents on that end.

Starting point is 01:11:41 Oh, nice. You know what I mean? I like that. Yeah, and Benny doesn't even know why he's there. You know what I mean? You grew up in El Pas nice. You know what I mean? I like that. Yeah. And Benny doesn't even know why he's there. You're like, you grew up in El Paso. You know what I mean? I always wanted to patrol border. Yeah, I know. But that kind of feels weird stopping my own people. Yeah, yeah. That's exactly what it is. See how they like it. That's exactly what it is. All right. Yeah. Anyway. Yeah. Wait, so the story. Oh yeah, yeah. So I'm

Starting point is 01:12:03 telling them, look up a breakfast place in Chicago, downtown Chicago. Easy. Right? So many good... You know what he says? To a hungry, tired man who pays him very handsomely. Yeah. He says, where's downtown Chicago?

Starting point is 01:12:19 How the fuck do I even answer that? Okay, look, what I meant. What I meant. Stop! Let it absorb into my mind and my heart and then you respond because what he just said there was fucking crazy. Alright? He said something crazy that I can't even fathom that anyone would even ask that, right? So let me absorb that bullshit and then you can respond to what fuckface okay okay all right so where the fuck is downtown Chicago crazy now answer okay in my defense there is no defense yes it is people people agree

Starting point is 01:12:57 with me is the way I talk what I met was where in was where in downtown. It's the same sentence. It's the same sentence. Where and near downtown like where. Hey, you got it. Just breathe. Start over because the beginning is not good. Ask me.

Starting point is 01:13:16 Yeah, the beginning is not good. So you go. I said, hey, do me a favor. Look up places. Look up breakfast places in downtown Chicago. That doesn't even require a response. Just, you know, just do it. By where near downtown? Like near like the hotel? That's not what you said.

Starting point is 01:13:35 That's what I meant. Like according to, no, say what he said that you said. So go, so he says that, right? And then you say what? Say it. He just said the like, wait. Do me a favor. What? Look up breakfast places in downtown Chicago. Near what hotel? That's not what, no what did you say? What did you say? He's trying to redeem himself. Where in downtown? That's not what I told you. That's not what he said. First of all, how big of a downtown have you been in? Chicago's pretty big downtown.

Starting point is 01:14:09 Okay, but how big of a downtown have you been in where you're like, we better eat somewhere close to the hotel because we're going to be on the other side of downtown. Wait, with Tua's argument, it's huge. Okay, but- So if he was asking what section of downtown- Factor in this though. Okay. Yeah, please It's 7 in the morning check in if we're lucky is noon earliest, right? You think time is a factor you think I want to be as close as possible to the fucking hotel like my carless at 8 a.m

Starting point is 01:14:37 Like yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that is true Like if you were my opener, I'd be like this is what I would go because my opener would know that I don't want no garbage Like I want the best place So if I have to travel 20 minutes to go I'll travel 20 minutes because I want the best spot and also what I do is I get people call To make sure that they they have seats for us because sometimes those places packed and I get real sometimes they go We don't care. We you can't get a seat. I don't care. We who you are So then I go fuck. I, it's just gonna. You know man

Starting point is 01:15:06 That's why I get so frustrated though, because I get it. I get it. Are you anywhere? I don't even care if we get there It's like oh man. It's packed. We should have called that. That's on me. What are like? Yeah, there's Like where's downtown Chicago? So we're in the town And then I told them I'm like hi man. What if I told you that Down Town Chicago, we're going to be in the area between, I don't even know the streets, between Rudolph Street and 34th. Do you know where that's at? He's like, no.

Starting point is 01:15:37 Yeah. I'm on his side. You almost had Bobby, but then. Yeah. I have to also say, and a little side note, I just think that what you guys do with breakfast tacos are just fucking out of the pocket so so good thank you so good when I go to Texas I get a breakfast taco I just so good

Starting point is 01:15:58 yeah like the potato you do with the potatoes and I like refried beans You know like a little bacon and some egg. That's it and a good salsa bingo Red sauce or green sauce any of that? Excuse me. I didn't invent any of that. No your people though. Do you know that I'm not Mexican? Yeah Anyway, let's move on What are you? I'm Honduran. That's hilarious.

Starting point is 01:16:28 That's so fun. I've been there. Yeah? Yeah. Anyway, uh, P.U. I've never been there. I love it. I love it there.

Starting point is 01:16:36 Bro, he's been there. I literally have been there. I talked to a girl that got deported there. Really? Is she alive? Is she alive? Is she alive? I haven't talked to her in a couple of years. She could be dead.

Starting point is 01:16:51 Honestly, once she got deported, I'm like, what are we talking anymore for? I know that... I apologize for that, the talk, breakfast talk, actually. Nah, I don't care. I'm Mexican. I was on a flight once, and I don't know if I've said this ever, this old, you know, sometimes like when old white people want to spring up a conversation, they use race as their starting point.

Starting point is 01:17:13 The connector. The connector. So this guy, yeah, this guy looked at me, he was sitting next to me, he could tell that he wanted to say something. He just goes, hey, excuse me, he goes, my granddaughter, my granddaughter loves Hello Kitty. And I go, I think they didn't know what to say. It's like it's one of those moments where you're like, that's not too bad. Yeah, but then it's like I'm not Chinese. That's a Chinese thing.

Starting point is 01:17:37 But it's not even that because you're Asian, you just naturally look like a Hello Kitty fan. You got like a beanie. Got these little short sleeves. Look at this thing. Is there anything that would offend you, a white person would say? Um, I've been offended before. I can't think of it. Let me come up with something. I'm sitting next to you on a plane. Okay. Man, you, you know, I don't like MS-13. The fuck you say to me?

Starting point is 01:18:08 That's Z, that's, yeah, yeah. No matter what it is. I love breakfast tacos. Motherfucker! Oh, I see, I see. Nah, I think like. What would offend you, nothing? I think I'd get offended if they were like,

Starting point is 01:18:28 like yeah, you into cars, low riders. Oh, low riders. Yeah, yeah. All right. I love El Mariachi. Like the movie? That's a great movie. That is a good movie. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:18:40 Have you guys seen it? So good. Have you seen it? Antonio Banderas? No, he's not in it. Yeah, he is. Yeah, he's the Mariachi. No, that's called... Desperado. Desperado. He's talking about the old movie. El Mariachi is Robert Rodriguez's first film. It's the prequel to it. Oh, who's in that one? No one you would know. Oh, that one. Oh yeah, have you seen that one? El Mariachi was made for $10,000.

Starting point is 01:19:07 One take, every take. 9,000 of those dollars were spent on the boots. Yeah, that movie is a masterpiece. It's so fun to watch. When you know how much money they spent, it was like, it's just so well done. It was his first movie and he really put him on the map. Anyway, yep.

Starting point is 01:19:24 I think you're talking about Thur's Am the map. Anyway, yep. I thought you were talking about Teres Amigos. Shut up man, I love you, but. I just, enough of you, okay? Well, you know, Ralph, I have to say, you know, you coming the first time we met Jaime and he's been a very pleasant surprise on our show. Thank you for letting us use him. He's all right.

Starting point is 01:19:43 Yeah, but he's very funny. So we have, he's, Ralph Barboza is going on some dates. Mm-hmm. And then in the third week of January at the Addison Improv, we are gonna do two shows. More importantly, on January 18th, a week before that, I'm gonna be filming my next special at the Babo Theater in San Diego, California. Go check that out. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:20:07 Hulu. And for those of you in Dallas, me and Bobby are going to be doing the show at the Addison Improv. Yeah, that'll be fun. As long as the Addison approves it, let's not get cocky here. Come on. No, we can get it. You never know.

Starting point is 01:20:20 I know 100%. That's insane. I got two shows coming up at the Addison improv in a couple weeks Yeah, and I have plenty of opportunity to just fuck that relationship up. So I know will you ask them though? Yeah, I'll bring it up What do you mean? I'll run it by Ask them if they'll do it You want my people to call? Okay, you got it. All right. So um, and then your podcast I completely forgot about that. Yeah

Starting point is 01:20:47 Me and me and I may got a podcast and it's called the fat fish podcast and We're gonna release the next episode. I mean the first episode soon. Have you ever any guests out yet? Yeah, we got a couple episodes banked a few like who are the guys? No, please come on.. No you come on dude. That's dumb. Just watch the podcast. No no no. Honestly dude. Alright dude you want to do this? You want me to name big names? No just give me one name. Robert Rodriguez from Mill Mariachi is gonna be on there. Now we got Chris DeStefano. Big one. Felipe Esparza. Huge. Rene Vaca. Love him., so what a great episode. Thank you so much

Starting point is 01:21:26 Burbos and Heimit for doing it and Louise and we got everyone. What a great episode. Good night everybody. Bye bye. But I can't smell the red I'm sure it's because of you Thank you, thank you, thank you I'll try to find you But I can't smell the red I'm sure it's because of you

TigerBelly - Ralph Barbosa and the Knuckleheads

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.