TigerBelly - Rhett & Link Interrogate Bobby Lee’s Love Life

Episode Date: June 11, 2025

Rhett & Link enter the Belly through a scammer named Liam. Bobby makes a plea to the Mythical Beasts. We chat wiener tattoos, long marriages, Jaime’s fight with Ralph, early YouTube days, Raya dating fails, and sperm. So don’t wait! For a very limited time, shop Chubbies’ biggest sale of the year for $45 shorts and up to 65% off select gear. Hit up chubbiesshorts.com and grab your favorites before they’re gone. Missed the sale? Don’t sweat it, use our exclusive code BELLY for 20% off. Start your free online visit today at hims.com/BELLY for your personalized hair loss treatment options. Download the app and sign up with code TIGERBELLY. Take the featured slot for a spin, and explore thousands of others in the DraftKings game library. Check back daily to claim the hottest offers and promos on DraftKings Casino.

Let me ask you, how did you enjoy this podcast today? You wanna scale on one of 10? No, I don't wanna scale, but did you have fun? Yeah, I had a lot. I'm gonna give it a... I'm gonna give it an eight. Oh, yeah. An eight out of 10.

Okay, good. I mean, what's a nine or 10 that you've been on? I don't think we've had one yet. Good Mythical Morning to you, Good Mythical Morning to you, I'm bad. Anyway um. You're dead? I don't know what to say there. So I just commit to whatever the thought comes. Yeah.

You wanna try one? I'm sorry to hear that. You'd like to try one? Yeah. Put your earphones on. Because you gotta hear them. Right. We just talked about that for like 20 minutes.

Just because you look like, you're in the movie The Northman, doesn't mean that you can come in with your axes, with your shoulders all like this. You know what I mean? I'm not a village guy. Wait, hold on. Like what? You walk around like this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You do. And you have a silly look. If you want to get real, let's get real. You're singling me out for being silly. Look at how silly. Look at this guy. That man right there is perfection.

No, this guy is perfection. What, EJ? I bowed his way. I, this guy is perfection. What, EJ? I fell asleep. I'm with you on this, Bobby. Even though you gave me the worst hug I've ever gotten from an individual. Well, if it's not on camera, I don't think...

Let's do it on camera. All right. All right, here we go. Over and under? There we go. Yeah, you do the pat. I'll give you from behind. Oh. Oh, that's very nice. Wow.

We're getting a lot of mixed signals, aren't we, Rhett? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No. We shall see. Rhett and Link from Good Mythical Morning. And give them a round of applause, everybody. Come on. Thank you so much for being here, boys.

Oh, God. I'm glad to be here. Yeah, me too. being here, boys. Oh, God. I'm glad to be here. Yeah, me too. Me too, Link. We thought. I gotta tell you this right off the bat. Oh, yeah. Well, back in August, we got really excited because your team invited us.

I have an email. We got an email from your team. Liam. Oh, Liam. Yep. Yeah. Yep. Who's Liam? Read it. Oh, Liam. Yep. Yeah. Yep. Who's Liam?

Read it. Who's Liam? Read it, Rhett. He said, I'm reaching out because Bobby Lee, the show's host, is a huge admirer of your creative genius. Oh! Already. Already I know.

I'm not a fan, so you know what I mean? So we thought, like I said, mixing. We were like, I think this might be a scam. Yeah. But here's- This was sent to our business address. Here's the quick pitch. Fun and relaxed chat with Bobby.

Freedom to choose topics you'd like to discuss. Never happens. $5,000. We're gonna talk about pussy, baby. $5,000 guest appearance fee. Oh my god. And a flexible recording schedule. So we wanna know which part of this is not true.

We don't know Liam. We get these all the time where they go Bad Friends or Tiger Belly. You know what I mean? It's some scam artist out there. Let's track this guy down. You wanna defeat him? Well yeah, we got our hopes up. You guys are wizards, right?

We spent the five grand immediately. Did you really? Yeah, we were like, oh, we're gonna, we're gonna upgrade the camera equipment. We gave this guy all of our banking information so he could wire us the fee. Yeah. And he emptied our bank account.

Wow. You know what? I'm gonna like you more now. We're so into it. I see, that's what I'm trying to do. You know why I observed on Link? And Link, don't get offended, right? Yeah, go ahead. I think I like you more now. We're so into Link. You know why I observed on Link? And Link, don't get offended, right?

Yeah, go ahead. But I don't think you're fully baked in the oven. Pfft! Why would you say that, Bobby Link? Because the upper lip is, there's nothing. Oh! And I don't like it when it's nothing. Get back in the fucking oven.

Are you talking about mustache? No, your upper lip is a little... Like I don't have a complete upper lip? I thought about it for a long time. It's underdeveloped. Can I say that? Is that rude? Like it needs to be longer? You know what? I think I'm starting... you know, there's guests... Get a new song. Yeah, yeah, and I believe that I'm being attack, attack, attack. And I don't think that's right as a whole.

So let's do positive talk. Your eyes are stunning blue. Like I'm in the deep Pacific. I might find Atlantis in there. Aquaman. Thank you. I'm gonna give you a 10 minute detention. Okay, no, I'm sorry, am I, all right?

You gotta explain to them who he is. You don't need to know. He's excited about the Crunchwrap. No, the Snackwrap. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We know, we know. All right, so you have a very beautiful... Are you offended already, Link? I'm just trying to play it cool.

And I'm just... I'm staying on the edge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you know, life begins on the edge of your comfort zone. That's it. That's it. So that's a little tidbit that I didn't make up. Anyway, um, you, my God.

So ridiculous. You know what? Why is it ridiculous? My God was so beautiful. Right? Let me say something. My, ooh la la, mo pocahtunga, marconi. That's Italian. And uh, so shiny, marconi. you know, what I'm saying to you is, pretty good from top to bottom. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Pretty good. The face, like give me a profile. You don't wanna see my profile. Yeah, I wanna see it. Oh, he's a president. His face on a coin, bro? Baby, what's up?

I'm not spending that coin. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah. You're holding on to that. Yeah, I'm holding on to that. And I know you guys are Christians, right? You guys are Christians, correct? We're famously not. Okay, well I heard on the internet that you're Christians.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There was a time. But I feel, yeah, I would bet a million dollars on this, that you have a... You dick pic. Oh. Yeah, yeah. You have a... Psh, pssh! Psh! Dick's dick. Oh. Dick pick? No, he has a big penis. Big.

Oh, big dick. Yeah. Is it... No, he doesn't. He doesn't? Uh-uh. I'm a grower, not a show. No, that's a...

I don't like that. Everyone's a grower. Mm. He told me the other day that when you can stretch it... Yeah, this is true. What? He said that you can stretch it and that's how long it can be. You're... That's why...

No, scientifically, the length of your stretched flaccid penis is the length of your erect penis. If you're functioning properly. I agree, I guess. Do this, hey, guys, do this experiment at home. Stretch your dick as far as you can. Yeah. When it's flat. What if it rips off? It won't. Okay.

Okay, I'm very strong. It could, yeah, it could. It won't. Okay. It won't. Then you don't deserve it. I don't deserve what? You know what, you're attacking since you've been here. Okay? And I can go to war, pal. I love you. Thanks for doing the podcast, by the way.

Thank you so much for being here. I'm being real. Thank you so much for being here. It's an honor to be here, and I'm being real about that. I'm sore about the five grand, but I am happy to be here. Because we wanted this to be the first effort podcast that we got an appearance feature. I was like, yeah, yeah. How the hell are these guys pulling this off? You guys are suckers. Five grand is a lot.

Yeah. You're a sucker. Over-promise. But what he was telling me was, what I asked was how do you go about getting your wiener tattooed? Oh. And he said, well, I was like, there's no way to maintain an erection to get.

Yeah, they don't tattoo the erections. Here's a trick. I have a tattoo on my penis. It's a tattoo of a bigger penis. Yeah, it works. It's an illusion. But it's not to scale. So it is.

No. Shekeel O'Neil's penis. What I'm saying to you, I wanna just, But it's not to scale. So it is. No. She kilo-neals me in this. What I'm saying to you, I wanna just, watch me. What am I doing? I'm swimming your eyes, baby. And I love it. I like it. Can I go negative now or no?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. As long as your balance is there. I know what's happening. Well, how about this, Go positive with me, then. Um... You are... sweet-faced right now. You have the capability of doing a sweet face.

What do I know? Still. Oh, really? That's pretty sweet. That's cute. I am Kim Jong-un. Yeah. Still cute? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah. It's cute. You could have been a priest, I think. You just have those faces. What's so funny about that? No, right? No. Yeah.

Because there's no judgment in it? Or there's a lot of judgment in it? What kind of priest am I? Or you're not, like, Catholic. Okay. Episcopal. Episcopal. Yeah.

Yeah. I'm a lesbian priest. You could be... Go ahead, just say it. Are these your wives? I'm a Methodist. Nope. Okay.

Who are they? These are the professional people. Publicists? That we travel with. Okay, babysitters. Yep. Jenna is our assistant, long-time assistant.

She's put up with us and... I love it. I love it all. And who's that young lady in there? Megan. Megan? Megan. All right, Megan, nice to see you.

Is it really Megan? It is. It's really Megan, yeah. How do you know that so quickly? The blonde, you know. They were hanging out. You're a perv and I don't like it. Oh, no. Yeah, that's pervy shit then. No, he could be a science teacher. Oh, that's true too. Yeah. What about this guy? An ad for Old Spice. Oh. Get on. Or a joust at the Renaissance Faire. Yeah.

You do jousting. You call them a joust? Yeah. I recently got into archery. I can tell, dude. Yeah. I can really tell. Yeah, long bow.

Yeah. You look like you clip trees. Which one? You're directing that. Topiary? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I really do like you, and I don't know why I'm attacking you. I apologize. Let's start over. It's an honor. Yeah, uh, I'm really, I'm really good at it. Wait, wait, Mythical Morning Magic. But what do you, do you need to understand? You do. That we kinda have this chip on our shoulder, you know?

We're like from a different world than you. You know, we're not from your different world than you. You know, we're not from your comedy world. We're from YouTube. Internet world. I'm from YouTube as well. So, but are you? I am. Like what kind of YouTuber are you from?

Or like, I'll tell you. I'm a YouTuber that, yes, I've done a ton of movies. Yeah, The Dictator, you know what I mean? Two Harold and Kumar movies, Borderlands. Sweet Dreams. Sweet Dreams, yeah. I've done some sitcoms, I was on a series for eight years, Matt TV, two series regulars on two shows.

Guest Star on Sex and the City, reservation, on and on, Magnum, PI, on and on, right? But I do dabble in the, you know what I mean, YouTubes. You know what I mean, so I can- What do you think about it? I love it. I think it reinvented me as a performer. I can go direct to my audience.

And I think this is the, you guys were smart enough to get in early. It was our only option. Sorry. Yeah, he's on Zempik. He's on Zempik. I'm on Zempik. Yeah, yeah. You make that noise? Hold on, was it coming up?

I sometimes vomit. Cool. Okay, good. Let's move on. That's a side effect. One of them, yeah. But the mythical part, can I just be honest with you? I'm aware of, oh my god, this is so embarrassing. No, just say it.

Yeah. I know your names, I just haven't, shut the fuck up. Let me try to ease into this, all right? What are you doing? You're leaving? It's like, oh. I'm done. I'm still here. If you start playing music, I'm gonna. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done. I'm done.

I'm done. I'm still here. If you start playing music, I'm gonna pick the headphones. Okay, so what I wanna say is that I'm aware of you guys. I know you get a big following, you know what I mean? But I'm not particularly the origin of the podcast and all that, which is exciting for me,

so I can learn more. But I've seen clips and stuff like that, and I think you guys are very great. And thank you for being here. But the mythical heart- But somebody had to tell you something. I mean, do you say yes to people coming on or are you- Oh, you want to be real?

Yeah. Oh, I can go real. It was Liam, wasn't it? What? Yeah, we're banking on our $5,000. Yeah. No, I mean, I get this, which is a history and all that stuff. Okay.

Okay. But I'll be honest with you, let's just be real then. If you want to go there. Yeah. Yeah. Is I go with the best people I can get. Yeah. So, what, last time we had George Lopez, we've had Judd Apatow, Jordan Peele, I mean I get the best I can get, okay?

And you guys are the cream of the crop. Does it feel good? Is that what you want? Oh wow. I thought you were going in an interview. That felt good. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no.

I was bracing for it. No, I. We know how it goes. No, we look at all those factors and you guys check all the boxes. Yeah. You know what I mean, so it's like, did that feel good? Yeah. Yeah.

So that's why you're here. You know, and welcome. I do feel like we made it. We're bringing all of our fans over here and they're gonna hate you. I am. Are you being real? He's so nervous.

Yeah, I think so. Why then? Tell me why. We can talk's so nervous. Yeah, I think so. Why then? Tell me why. We can talk directly to them. Yeah, tell me why. I think I feel like I burned a bridge. He's just funny. No, listen.

He's just great. Where's the camera? Where's the camera that's just for our fan? Who came over here? Here's the thing, guys. We know that you don't understand. We try to tell you about this kind of thing that there's, you know, comedians, they like to bust each other's balls.

It's kind of what they do, right? I mean, this guy has a whole other podcast with another guy and they just bust each other's balls the whole time. It's a way of showing love to one another. Right. He's educating his audience. You know, and so it doesn't mean that he's an asshole. Like, I'm being serious right now.

He's entertaining. It's flat, we're flattered. We're glad to be here. The fact that he's taking the time to say these things about us and especially Link. Yeah. Right. We're starting over.

No, no, no. Yeah, we're starting over. We're starting over. No, no. Yeah, yeah. No. Yeah, yeah. We do come from a world where we're taught to be nice. We have different rules that we play by. But now, we're on the same page.

Good Mythical Morning to you. Welcome. Wow, I'm a huge fan. Honestly, like, and so it's just like, wow, you guys are both so handsome, too. I'm actually intimidated by it, you know what I mean? Just cope with comedy. What do you mean, guy? That already sounded hostile, right? Yep, yep. I forgot you started over.

It's gonna keep coming back. It's part of it. It's beautiful. I think we're all on the same page now. Okay, I'm just gonna say I come from trauma. It's a defense mechanism, you know what I mean? And I just don't know any other way. But I tell you this, I have empathy and I really care for the world. I think you're a good person deep, deep, deep, deep,

deep down. I'm not a tariff fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's talk about deep, deep down. I'm not a tariff fan. Yeah, yeah, yeah, let's talk about that. You hear me? Yeah. Anyway. I'm against it.

Yeah, yeah. So let me ask you something. How did you start Good Mythical Morning? Hymns, hymns, hymns for your hair. Men, if you're starting to notice your hair thinning when you look in the mirror, AKA Carlos, you're not alone. Life's just getting busier and busier, is it not? And you can feel like there's not enough time in the day

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Dress Chubby Chubby Chubby dress like it in Chubbies. You hear me? Yeah, I'm against it. Yeah, yeah. So let me ask you something. How do you start Good Mythical Morning? Hmm. Okay. How do you start Good Mythical Morning? There's a number of ways that we could explain this. Hmm. Okay. I just checked the myth of the morning.

There's a number of ways that we could explain this. Try to keep him engaged. You know what? No. Bro! I'm gonna... Here's what I'm gonna do. Hold on. If I'm... Guys, you're my team, right?

Yeah, that's the team. Pull me back. You never do that. Put a leash on me and just pull me back. And let's have a code word me back. Yeah. All right. All right. You never do that. Put a leash on me and just pull me back. All right. And let's have a code word, why not? Snack wrap.

What? Snack wrap. He really wants to talk about the snack wrap. Yeah, yeah. So we're not bringing up snack wrap again. Well he, Ryan wants to talk about snack wrap. Well, how about this? We're gonna do it in 20 minutes.

All right. Okay. Snack wrap is the code word. All right. Tell me more. I'm gonna tell you the parts that I think you'll care about. Okay. You hated it, right? It's not bad.

In 1984. Hold on, hold on. 1984. Yes. Buies Creek, North Carolina. Love it. Miss Locklear's class. She's great. I had just moved there.

As one does. We were both held in from recess for writing profanity on our desks. And we colored pictures of mythical beasts. And so everything that we've ever done has included this mythical branding. Wow. Then later.

Why you end in mythology is what I'm asking. No. Not at all. No, it has nothing to do with that. It has nothing to do with mythology. No, it has to do with the fact that it was like... What's a centaur? What's a centaur?

That's a half horse, half man. I think it's a bull. What's the bull man? No, the bull is... Minotaur. Minotaur. Yeah, yeah. What's a siren? All right. Okay. You don't know anything about mythology. Yeah, yeah. What's a siren? Alright.

Okay. You don't know anything about mythology. Potts singing chick. Yeah, yeah, very good. But, yeah, very little. There's a diagram. There's a diagram. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, here we go. Yeah, yeah. So, you know Pegasus. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's enough. I don't know why you brought that up. Because you started testing those.

I was testing their mythological knowledge. But yeah, it has nothing to do with that. It has nothing at all to do with it. Okay, so when you initially started, it was a podcast. Very real. It's all real. It's about real things, like, oh my God, I was molested or whatever. Right, it started. Or whatever it might be.

Yeah, yeah. That's how it started. Yeah, yeah. Right. And so you talk about real things. Yeah, we're as real as we can be. Yeah. Give me an example. Because I come from this community, right? So it's like, let's say my name was Bo Little. And I was from your town, from North Carolina, right?

Yep. Which one? Anchor? What's it called? Louise Creek. Louise Creek. You still live there now? No. Where do you live now? Here. In LA? Yep. Oh do you live now? Here.

In LA? Yep. Oh fuck. Oh anyway, so if I was... Wait, you think we flew here for this? Well, people have. That's in your face. That's true.

Crunchwrap, crunchwrap, what is that? Crunchwrap. Snackwrap. Snackwrap, sorry. Snackwrap. Yeah, yeah. So what I'm saying is that I'm, I don't know why I just did this, but if I was Bo Liddle, like some guy, and it came,

and I was like, what kind of guests do you get? No guests. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Rarely there are guests. So let's say I'm a producer, like what do you wanna talk about today, boys? Like one time a month there might be a guest.

Then why'd you fucking lied to me, guy! Well, it's practically no guest. Okay. What kind of guest do you get? You know, there's 20 episodes a month. Right. 20? Yeah. It's every day. And it's not a podcast. What is it?

It's just a show. It's just two guys sitting down and talking. It's an internet show. It's a podcast. It's a podcast. It's not a podcast. It's a video podcast. It's a video... It's not a podcast! It's not wherever you get a podcast. It's a podcast. It's not a podcast, it's a video podcast. It's a video, it's not a podcast.

It's not wherever you get your podcasts. It's not. If you search where podcasts are. These are mics. Well there's one mic. There's one, see that's the difference, there's one mic. We have a podcast, that's not what we're talking about. Name a podcast where there's two guys

that are talking to one mic. That's a good point. See, there's a difference that are talking to one mic. That's a good point. See, there's a difference. Good one, Northman. So every day, we release one of the... Every weekday. So what's the topic, man? Uh, food.

Okay, let's talk about food. Bullshit. Let's talk about food. What's your favorite restaurant in L.A.? Well, McDonald's, they got the... They got the snack wraps. It's coming back. All right, we'll go to snack wraps now!

We would probably eat all the snack wraps blindfolded in order to try to figure out which one makes us horniest. Oh! So, how many snack wraps are there? There's only two there's three. It's three. Give me the three flavors. There's a grilled chicken crispy and Then this new ranch coming out. Mmm, but it's all true then that's a new one. Yeah Oh, yeah, so crispy chicken snack wrap and grilled and grill if I went to the McDonald's right now And go can I have a snack wrap, would I be pleasured?

They're not out yet. It depends on the studio. What? What did you say? They're not out yet. Any of the snack wraps? No. They're coming back.

They're coming back. How long has he been gone? Years. Oh, it's like Kilmer or Borigo Garcia. He was the guy that sent the Elsa work. Oh yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Current, we don't do current events.

Oh really? All right. Thank God. That's why I got nothing. But, so you talk about like food, like what's your favorite restaurant in LA though? Favorite restaurant in LA? You gotta have a favorite.

Let's go category. Let's go category. A favorite type of restaurant. How about your favorite, I'll do it in the accent. Italian. Italian. Italian. Donnas.

Donnas is good. Have I been to Donnas? I don't know. I don't have a favorite Italian restaurant. Oh, god damn it, fuck man. Where's yours? Mexican. No, we're not done.

Let's go Mexican. Mexican. Mexican. Mexican. Mexican. Mexican. Mexican. Mexican. Mexican. I don't have any favorite Italian restaurant. Oh, god damn it, fuck man. What's yours? Mexican. No, we're not done.

Let's go Mexican. Salsa and beer in the valley. Ooh, that's really good. I don't know what it is. Yeah. That's good though. Udly vato. That's pretty good.

Yeah. Anybody? I don't think I'm to say yeah Oh, you're one of those already said yeah, are you one of those that won't do a Mexican accent? He wants to yeah, what about this one? What's up, man? No, nothing. I feel like I could do what's up? There we go. I'm not the man.

Chris Tucker. Oh. You're doing Chris Tucker. That's very racist. I'm kidding. It's not, and it was fun. So you don't have a favorite Mexican? Same thing?

What's the one? Paul Sambier. Oh yeah, you said that, yeah, yeah. There's an upscale one. I'm the one who said that. Over in, well okay. He looked right at me. Here's an example of something. Here's an example of something.

You would be into this idea. We've done this on the show. You take an old Mexican place and, like, there's a classic, like, al-coyote. Oh, I love it. Then you take a new place, which I can't even remember the place that we did on the show. But you take, like, this place, classic like El Coyote. Oh, I love it. It's very good. Then you take a new place,

which I can't even remember the place that we did on the show. But you take like, this is the trendy. The trendy. This is the old. You take a dish from each place, and we sit down, we eat both of them, and we say this one's actually better.

Right, I like that a lot. We're going through different categories right now. Yeah. Do you ever go to that old school place El Cholo? Mm-mm. Is it good? Look, you guys look so good. I look oldest versus newest Mexican restaurant.

That's amazing. See, that's it. That's fun. Yeah. Who plays the guitar? That would be me. He does. What do you play? Chords.

What do you play? Dude, that was fast. That's comedy. See that bass over my shoulder? You know, that bass is from the bassist from the band Alabama. I love Alabama. They're good. Yeah, yeah. Really though?

The state. Oh. Yeah, yeah. No, I like Alabama. I'm a classic rocker. I mean, I'm probably older than you guys. Forty six. Yeah, I'm fifty three. OK, we're catching up. So I grew up with like really just like like hipster shit like the Velvet Underground, Roxy music, you know, I mean, these types of bands. But I prefer listening to music from the 70s and 80s. I think there's some modern music that's pretty, I think Billie Eilish is pretty cool, but, but anyway, I'm a fan of music, you know?

But you, Snack wrap. Snack wrap. Snack wrap. Snack wrap. We're getting there, dude. Snack wrap. I feel like there's like a horror

that's about to be happening. What? What? What? What? What? Yeah. Okay, I love it. Yeah. Yeah, that's good.

So you compare things and then, but you guys have been friends since you were in elementary school, so. Yeah. You guys are brothers. It's like an old married couple banter, I think. More so, because we're still here by choice. Right.

You got anybody from that time in your life that you stay in touch with? My mom. I think, more so, because we're still here by choice. Right. You got anybody from that time in your life that you stay in touch with? My mom. It doesn't count. Like do you, like we've actually been thinking about this, like if you, could you think of somebody from back then that you were like, you were close with in first grade?

Like could you remember the like first name and last name of somebody like that? I don't know people from three years ago. Really? Yeah I mean I'm uh I mean he was doing meth early on in his life so he can't. When I was 12 I was a meth addict. Okay. I went to a bunch of rehabs in high school and I was sober young you know I mean so I got sober at 17 stayed sober for I mean? So I got sober at 17, stayed sober for 13 years, relapsed, stayed sober for 17 years. So I've always had that, but I don't. That's how you find out who your true friends are,

they say. Yeah, and none of them stuck around. Do meth. So nobody stood by you. In high school I have some friends, like I did a show with Andrew in San Diego, and a bunch of high school friends showed up. Okay.

And it was super fun, you know what I mean? But it's not like I called them on their birthdays. Yeah. It's unusual for sure. Yeah, this is an anomaly, you know that, right? Oh yeah, yeah. And if we weren't working together, I wouldn't call him on his birthday.

I mean, we wouldn't. Really? I don't. No, no, no, no. On my birthday? I think we remain, I mean, I mean, we wouldn't. Really? I don't. Oh, okay. Explain, explain. I think we've remained, I mean, I have other friends and I don't, I might send them a text, happy birthday, if somebody tells me it's my birthday. Right, right, hey dude, hey dude.

But that's your best friend. Yeah, yeah. But I'm saying he wouldn't be my best friend if things didn't work out the way that they did. You know, I believe this already based on what I know, okay? If you died, he would cry super hard. Would you cry? Yeah. But the opposite?

Dude, he's gonna be like this. Yeah, you're that kind of guy. He's gonna check his watch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're gonna be like, fuck, you know? It's not entirely false. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It takes a lot to make you cry.

It takes a lot, and I'm prepared for your death. I do think about it a lot. We had to go through a whole thing about what happens. Oh, he's gonna take 100% of the money. It gets complicated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we've got wives. Are they friends? Oh, yeah. gonna take 100% of the money. It gets complicated. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because we've got wives. Are they friends?

Oh yeah. They're friends. He's celebrating 20. I mean they're not like us friends, but they're friends. He's celebrating 25 years, and I'm celebrating 24 years, and we've all known each other for that entire time. You have children? Yep.

Both of them, right. Wow. That's amazing. I've never heard of that before. I have. You never heard of children? No, I've heard of- Playing together. Yeah, but I've never heard of two guys.

Excuse me, Ozympic Alert. They're not gonna sponsor you. It's so expensive. It's your comedic, both of you. We never's you who are comedic. Both of you. We never said we weren't comedians, Bobby. We just said that we were from a different place. Yeah, but what you're implying is that most comedians...

We didn't have to be as funny, that's true. But most comedians on podcasts aren't funny. There's only a few. Oh. You know what I mean? But only have to be funny in short bursts that get exported to TikTok, right? Yes, that's true.

So I've never seen this though. Two guys that met in elementary school had been married that long. So like the lives, or you guys are so interwoven and there's so many connections and threads, right? It must feel, that sounds like magic, dude. That's incredible. I would say it is.

I would say we're living this dream that we kinda, we talked about in middle and high school. And so you get to this point now where, yeah, our kids are like cousins to each other. I see. It's not like they, if they're put, they don't hang out all the time. A lot of them are going off to college.

Wow. Like three out of the five of them are in college. Wow. But like they still kinda, it's like, all right, if there's a sort of a reunion, it's kinda like we have a little family reunion. When they meet, kids. Yeah, it's like cousins getting together.

Do they hug and like giggle like kids do? Lots of hugging and giggling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And so, and if like, if someone, God forbid, is in trouble or has an ailment, that's a terrible analogy. The other cousins talk shit about it.

No, they would be there for that other person. And be there for it, yeah. Okay, okay, okay. That's amazing. You know, I'm gonna die alone. So that's amazing. I think we'll be there for you after this. You can count on us. Let me ask you something. Do you think we could be friends?

I think we could. Yeah, I believe so. I believe so, too, in a weird way. I love getting my balls busted. Flip it. You know, honestly, I don't call it ball busting. I was just being truthful. What?

About your upper lip. It was an observation. How is that ball busting? The best ball busting is based in truth. Yeah, 100% truth. Yeah. Don't do that with your lips. Yeah.

What about this? Whoa! You're good at that. Yeah. Okay, we have to, I mean, now that you're doing that, we have to tell you about this. We were- Our first manager did that.

He did, yeah, our first manager did that. He could not stop. He got a job. Okay, here you go. I mean, it was like a very tubular... Right. ...tongue. It was when he got excited, though. It didn't come out really far, but it...

It was a good thing. Can you stop doing that, please? Okay, listen to this. It's really bothering me. That's what we're talking about. Yeah, yeah. I gotta show you. We had a meeting yesterday and with this guy who was talking to us, I'm not gonna go into any details. The business, show business.

It was a show business. Kind of, kind of. He's talking, we're looking at him, and there was like a flash that came from his mouth. I looked down and spit was going, he got a string of spit in his teeth, right? As he's opening. It was like the size of like a spider web.

But then it started growing. Looked like silver or something. It started growing. What? Started getting bigger, getting concentrated, and then it migrated from his teeth to his lips. Whoa, what do you say? Nothing.

So, and this was an unbroken monologue. 20 minutes. If I was there? That's where I'd go, hey, bro, what the fuck? I don't think you can say anything. Oh, you can? So, but I'm not done. Because it's getting thicker.

He was the power broker, or she, they, were a power broker. Yeah. In this meeting. Yeah, they. Yeah, he was. Okay, so... It would have been very clear, like, a power play to say there's...

You're chewing spider webs right now. You're gonna own your worth. Okay. But hold on. I didn't want it to end. Okay, go ahead. I was intrigued by the growth of it. I was grossed out. It was evolving.

Oh, it was evolving. And it got bigger and bigger, and then it snapped into a little white ball on its bottom lip. Oh, wait. How much detail is there? It's like a mogwon. And then it changed.

And then it was on its bottom lip, went to the top lip, went back to the bottom lip. It's like a mogwad. And then it was on his bottom lip, went to the top lip, went back to the bottom lip. It's like, pong! And then... Wow. And then it... Sucked it back in. He tongued it.

He sucked it back in onto his tongue. Never felt it. And he ate it. Oh. Well, it came from there. What? You know what I mean? This was over the course of...

20 minutes. I just condensed the 20 minute process. Did he know that it was there? I hope not. Did he go like that? No. Okay. I think I would feel it though. All right.

I think if it was happening to me, I would feel it. If your wife had that, would you say something? I'd lick it right off her lips. I love it. Wow, that's sexual. I did say that if this was a, I was like, if this was a beautiful woman, this might be fun to watch, but it was not.

Oh, right, right, right. Yeah, I would have laughed the whole time, buddy. I would have said something. Hey bro, what the fuck, bro? I'm eating. You were eating? I was eating. I had chosen not to eat.

And I was glad. And how did the meeting go? There was a drink there. All he had to do was drink from it. I kept waiting for him to drink. I was like, I was licking my lips. You know how when you see somebody with something, you start, I start thinking maybe I have it too.

Oh wow, to give him a hint. Yeah. Oh, that was good. And also because I was like, hope that's not happening on me. Yeah. That never happens to you. You're perfect.

What? Old spice. All right, you're the best North American. But yeah, how did the meeting go though? Very well. Yeah, yeah. Now do you guys have ages? Now I'm leaving.

No, you're not. I'm just taking these off. Okay, was bothering you? Yeah. Okay, not used to it. I don't really need it. We used to wear these on our podcast and then we got rid of them. Yeah, okay. Do as you will. Yeah, I mean, it's okay. Yeah. Um, do you guys?

Do you guys act too or no? Only for the stuff that we do. All right, but you never like, you know, got a Sony call they want you in this movie or anything like that. No. No. You have agent style? Mm-hmm. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. Why don't you want to act? Just curiosity. We do want to act.

Okay. But like you said, in our own stuff. Yeah. But why not in other people, like if Tarantino calls and he goes, hey, I have a couple lines. I would probably say yes. Probably say yes. Oh, so, oh really?

Tarantino, you're on the fence? What the fuck you you talking about? Okay I'm gonna speak to the directors. I don't think it would be a good look for either one of us actually. Why? I just don't think I would be a good fit. What? For any of his movies? Yeah. They have a great evolution. Oh but look at... Wow. I mean yeah. Oh let's go from the beginning here of time. Did you make this montage? Yeah. Is this a collage that you can strong you made that you did it? No the internet made it Oh the internet made it. Okay. Yeah. Wow, so that's first grade on the left. Yeah Well, let's go to the first picture. Okay, who's cuter? Oh

What their games on their show? Yeah. Yeah, so I think that I'm sorry, but I think I think Link has it. Oh, yeah Those eyes what the fuck is going on? You got to understand that I was an incredibly late bloomer I mean even if you look at my high school picture there with yeah, I don't know what's happening with my shirt there second photo Link has your feet. Oh, yeah. Yep two for two right there third photo Definitely. No wait link. Link. What happened? Sorry, it's coming back. The third photo.

The third photo we both got. No, no, no. Link has your beat. No, you've pulled away. But now, here we go. I'm not raising my eyebrow. It's just that much higher than the other. Yeah, yeah. But the fourth one is the evolution. You destroy Link there. Yeah.

Yeah. And that's, you know what I mean, you killing the game there. Oh, God. But then I think in the fifth one, it's almost a tie. Either way, toss up, right? Toss up, yeah. Yeah, it's almost a tie.

I don't know, how old were you in the fourth floor photo? What year was that? How old were you? Probably 2018. 2018, yeah. Well, no, you had that hair, so when did you change were you? It's probably 2018. 2018, yeah. Well no, you had that hair, so when did you change your hair? I don't know.

Explain to me that hair. Which hair? Yeah. The fourth photo of Link. The helmet? Yeah, what is that? It's like a emo helmet. It was never emo.

Or rode a motorcycle, but. Yeah. Can you zoom in on that photo, please, for me? It has wings. Can you zoom in, please, Gil? It covers up the forehead. I don't think you quite realize what's happening. Go a little further.

I... Go further. As far as we can go. Oh, really? Trying to go to the lip. Oh. You're trying to see him. You're trying to see him.

I love it when I'm right. Thank you, thank you Gil. Wow. How long have you been growing your hair? I'm just curious, cause. Out of nowhere, I love it. This was a COVID thing. Do you guys ever go on the road live? Yeah.

Oh, okay, good. And you guys play like theaters or what is it? Yeah, yeah, we've done a few tours for a couple of things. Most recently it was Good Mythical Morning Live, so it was basically the show, not like doing a podcast on the road, but it was like a theatrical version of the show. That's what me and Andrew do.

You can't do just two guys talking. We play games with the audience. Yeah, we run amok. Give them their money's worth. Yeah, do your wives go on the road with you guys? No, we. They usually like meet us at a certain show. You know, like if we're back at home in North Carolina

or whatever. If they're not there. If they're not there, your they're not there, what? Have sexy women go, hey. There was a, it happened once in a... Snack wrap? Yeah, snack wrap. Well now that I said it happened once,

I actually have to keep going. Oh yeah, yeah, okay Snack wrap, snack wrap. You snack wrapped a little too late. My bad, my bad. And you, question mark. You gotta be firm with the snack wrap. Snack wrap. Okay, good, thank you.

But what I meant to say was, it happened once to Rhett. I see. I see. Tell me about it. I think it was in a gas station. Wow. In a gas station? We were on tour and there was something, there was a couple in a gas station. I think you're getting the details wrong.

I think it happened to you, dude. Somebody was sitting on you in a gas station with their boyfriend there. No, it was a, it was a- You're asking for directions. It was a, it was like a CVS or something. Okay, CVS. And she was like, I'm coming to the show tonight

and it was like more, it was, this isn't, this is not typical, this is definitely not typical. But it was a little forward. You get half heart, I don't know. It was a little difficult, but it was a little forward. Ah. You get half heart, I don't know. But the bup... Snack wrap?

And the boyfriend was there. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, okay. That's weird. Let's move on. Sometimes you go a direction and it feels uncomfortable and then we move on. I'm very comfortable with this. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because to me, I'll be... It wasn't a threesome. He didn't... Well, I think we have to finish it. Nothing happened. Nothing happened. But I'm just saying that, no, it doesn't happen that often. He bought his... I don't know, his test at CVS.

You went home, you took it. Yeah, right. COVID test? I don't know what you're implying. I don't know. I feel resentment brewing. I like it. We keep each other out of trouble. Draft King Casino. Draft King Casino. In your face. Okay. Draft King Casino, why aren't you playing it?

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I'm 53 years old and I'm ready for something real. Okay? Mm-hmm. So how did that, I mean, what do I do here? Do I, I've been trying meditating. You mean love? Yeah, I try to manifest to meet a partner. You know what I mean? And it's like, how did you guys know when you first met your wives?

Because that's the knowledge I want to know. Listen. We were so young. And we were both very, very strong evangelical Christians who believed that the only way that we could have sex with these women was to marry them.

But obviously love developed. But that does change the complexion of the equation. It does. So what I'll say is that when you're 18 years old... Yeah. I know. Yeah, so I would say there was a lot of momentum. I see. And a lot of times that doesn't work out

when you get married that young. My wife was 20, I was 23? Wow. And so we both changed a lot. You and your wife have changed a lot. Oh yeah. And I think we've like rediscovered it over and over. I see, I see. You know what I mean?

But I don't think that like, I couldn't imagine dating right now. Wow. Yeah, I don't think, there's no way we could give you any advice, but how much is sex part of the equation? Are you sex starved? Because we might be able to help.

No, so I was on, okay, when I, you know, I dated, you know, my friend, Kalyla, that does his podcast. So after that relationship, 10 years, I went on a little rampage, and I just tore through it. And then the last couple of ones,

I was just kind of laying in bed going, it doesn't feel right, I feel lost, I feel empty, and I'm ready to find something real. So then now I'm not doing that. And I'm not even watching porn or anything like that. I'm just kind of just ready. But I just find that I'm not meeting anybody right now. How do you meet people?

Variety of different, live, old school. You know what I mean? Like meeting in the streets. I think they got it. I think they got that. I think they got that. Well, they were looking at me like, live? Well, first you use variety, and I thought by reading the magazine variety,

I literally was trying to figure out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so I mean. But you're walking down the street. In the wild. Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Dating apps, and then you've never tried it come please Okay, you know try please. Mm-hmm you would

If I had to if you had to you would yeah, yeah, and then DM's Okay. Yeah, DM's are a little weird because they're fans That's all it can be a lot weird. Mm-hmm Yeah, so um, those are the three ways I've been doing it. I think those are the only ways, right? Live. Yeah, or you can do like your parents set you up kind of like Indian style, you know.

And do they wanna, crisscross applesauce, do they wanna meet you in a... Wait, wait, wait, That was very funny, dude. That was very, yeah. He saved it. He saved it. No, you didn't save it. He saved it.

No, no. You said Indian style. I know. In terms of not sitting, in terms of like, you know what I mean? We know the rules, man. I know, all right. We know. We know.

I can't save you twice. We know. Yeah, I just, oh, OK. So anyway, let's move on from that. But I just had to make my point. Are they meeting you in a neutral place? What do you mean? Like, equator?

Yeah, we go to the equator to meet. What are you talking about? What's neutral about the equator? I don't know. It's neutrally charged in terms of latitude. Yeah, that's what I mean. The jet streams. Is latitude neutral?

It gotta laugh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. So yeah, no. I'm still laughing. So what is it? I think I'm laughing at myself though. Okay, but the DMs, this is interesting, right? Yeah. That scares me.

Do you think, like, do you have friends where that's worked? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. I know that dating apps work too, because my friend Jim Jeffries met his wife on Raya, and they're together and happy, so it does work.

So your preference is for somebody to know your work? No. What I'm saying is it's just something that happens where sometimes they do this, they go, I think you're hot, and then their account is private, so I have to screenshot that little fucking profile photo and then zoom it in, is the only way I can see them, you know what I mean? Sometimes that happens, but anyway, I've done that.

Why did you share that detail? I don't know, because it's so weird. I have so many photos like that on my phone right now, where you have to zoom it in, and then you're like, oh no, you know what I mean? But. But then again, I wouldn't recommend dating apps at all, man. Oh, you wouldn't?

No, not Tinder. There's a bunch of liams on there. What? Liam's? Liam's. Oh, yeah. Fakers. Yeah.

Catfish, you mean? But that's the thing though, it's like, okay, cause even in this town, right, how often do you go to any sort of social gathering where your reputation doesn't precede you, right? Like the CAA Christmas party. Okay. You know what I mean?

There's Jennifer Aniston, you know what I mean? What are you talking about? But don't you enjoy, I find that I enjoy those connections, I'm just talking about with people in general in this town, when they have no idea what I do and I can just be like, I run a production company, or I don't have to, they don't, but when somebody's coming through your DMs, the you that they are interested in is the you

that you have curated for entertainment purposes. Yeah, but like all things, you get to know each other as well. Right, but it starts in a weird way. Yeah, but let's be real then, if you're being real, I'll be real, right? If you're single, if you're single. I'm saying this as a guy who's been married for 24 years.

Oh right, you're single and you have a DM from a 10. You're gonna respond. Yeah. Right? Send me a photo or whatever, you know what I mean? But it's like. Hold on, you winked, so is it a GIF? That's a GIF, what do you mean?

Giffy lube like the fucking. I mean, you said send me a photo and you winked and I thought she sent you a GIF. It's like a titty thing, you know what I mean? What? And I send you, send me a photo and they're like, you know, you know titty. Yeah, I know titties.

Is it weird? I feel like, let's be real for a second. I feel like I'm crossing lines where I never thought I would cross them. Because of you two. I'm like, oh, that's wrong. Can I get canceled? Interesting how you- Your fans are gonna hate me.

I can't do it. They're eliciting a very interesting version of you right now. Yeah. Why? I don't know, you're not- This is our fault? Yeah. This is fun for you guys. I love it.

Yeah. You like it? You see me tip-tapping around, tip-toeing around. I mean, not tip-tapping. What the fuck am I talking about? Yeah. We're putting you on edge. A little bit because I already now know that half of your fans are going to find me disgusting.

I'm like, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know what to do, you know what I mean? Because it's like, I can't. Yeah and I think that's one of the differences in coming up in the stand-up world and coming up in the YouTube space. It's like there are these like, sort of guardrails. You know what I mean?

Early in my comedy career, it was a free-for-all. You could literally see anything you wanted and you couldn't get in trouble. And then society changed. Well, I will say these guardrails got them number two on Rolling Stone. Oh my God. Maybe there is something to that.

That is. I mean, look at those subscribers on YouTube. That's insane. So guardrails are good. Yeah, keep the guardrails. Keep the guardrails. Keep the guardrails. Keep the guardrails. Yeah, rails.

I think we've built a, we have a nice community. Yeah. And we're inclusive. Yeah. So we don't, and I think that when you have a lot of nice fans, it's wonderful.

But yeah, you gotta, they'll let you know if they feel a little uncomfortable about something. Right. So we're, and that's the coming up on the internet where the level of feedback that you've had to adjust to on a society level, I think is something that was happening a lot earlier coming up on YouTube.

Oh, I see. So we were just a lot, we were shaping our brand. Yeah. When we were reshaping, we were coming from a very religiously conservative place and loosening up, and we were developing an audience that was nice. Wow.

So it's not like we had a brand that we felt like needed to be modified. Like if you're like, well, I just wanna be myself and now I gotta go and edit it before I put it on. Wow. You know, like it's just a different process. Like when I was a kid doing stand-up, I'd just walk on the stage and pull my pants down. And then what? Nothing, I would just flap it, you know what I mean, or whatever.

Closer. And then people would go, ah, right, and I'd go, that's right. And no one said anything, it was fine, you know what I mean? I mean, some clothes would be like, hey, don't do the flapping dick thing. And I go, oh, why not? What do you mean, Soviet, China? Whatever, you know what I mean? And they would back off.

But then now you have to literally like, not do that. Yeah, you gotta keep your pants on. I got $10,000 fine in Atlanta for showing the audience the inside of my butthole. Apparently you can't do that. With a camera? No, from thousands of people. Because we've shown the insides of our buttholes

to millions of people. No, I did it live. Okay, cool. Handed over, pulled my cheeks apart. We didn't do that. But hold on, but isn't, this is interesting, right? Because we got, so we got vasectomies together, then we got colonoscopies together. Wow.

And so, you know, there's a camera that goes in your asshole, and then you can, and then that's, that was part of the video, right? And while I was going under, so they put us under this, like, Twilight sedation. Yeah. And the guy was like, well, typically, we would have you completely under. And we said, well, we are trying to make a funny video, so can you bring us out of sedation

while you've got the camera in us so we can be funny? So I... That's insane. So in my mind, I had this bit. I was sitting right next to him. And the bit in my mind was, why is it that we are offended by the outside of someone's asshole, but as soon as we get

just inside it, it's okay. Wow. Right? And I wanted to talk about that while I had a camera in my asshole. Praise the Lord. But I could not get that thought together under sedation. Oh. So what did I say? Because you remember this.

It seemed like you were just talking about how fine you were of butt stuff. Yeah, right. Wow. Is that you? Yeah, so that's me. Oh my God. Oh dude, you look out of it.

You look out of it. How is my butthole? See, you wanted to know. Yeah. You've seen a lot of buttholes? Yeah, right. Yeah. Wow. I mean, the anesthesia, the guy intholes? Yeah, right. Yeah. Wow. Look at the Asian guy. The guy in the back. Yeah, yeah.

Wow. Five percent. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Dude, that's so funny. Red's butthole. Is it nice, your butthole? I think it's okay. I think I'd like it. He said it was good.

I would've thought it was like a five out of ten, but that doctor, maybe he's just flattering me. I don't know. Do you feel safer when it's an Asian doctor? Well, when I made eye contact with that guy and he just, he had the syringe and he just got this look on his face, he just gentle nod. All right.

And it was the best feeling ever. He said, I'm gonna give you a taste. Oh wow. He said that a little bit. I'm gonna give you a taste. It was the stuff that he used was... Polyprophe? It was the stuff that Michael Jackson used

to sleep each night. Oh yeah, D, it says with a D. Right? Good Jesus. I've always wanted to try that. I'm just gonna make a video of your colonoscopy. Have you had a colonoscopy? It's been years. You need to get it now. I think I need to get it.

I'm so scared of it though. You know what else I hate? When you go to the hospital. When you got like, cause I had appendicitis. And then I woke up with the tube in my, you know, my, no, no. No, I mean, I don't know what you're saying. Yeah, catheter, you had a catheter.

You felt it? Yes. Oh. But I'm like, when they yank it out, that's a bitch. They go through the little pee hole? Yeah. They do? Yeah, I haven't had that yet.

Yeah. How big's the tube? Big as it needs to be. Big, yeah, you know who yeah, I haven't had that yet. Yeah, how big is the tube? Hey, big as it needs to be big. Yeah Wow, and then when they pull it out They say one two three, but see and you screamed. Yeah, I was like sixth grade. Oh my god You know little anyone like like a little free hole in a Yeah You like free hole?

It's good, right? What's up? What was the bit that you were spreading? Was it just like the flapping? You showed your butthole? The audience. What do you mean? I'm lost.

Was there anything that you said to accompany the exposing of your anus? You don't need to say everything. Right. You just do. Okay. And the Lord will. And how did they react?

Leave it to them. Killed. The audience. Like the whole audience was in just chaos. Yeah. And you got fined for it. Well there's a video of me and Andrew begging, and say, well, because we had another show there

or something, and they go, all right, but don't do it again. And the second show was like, I had to resist it. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. You can't be doing that. What? You can't be doing that because you have to pay

$5,000 to every guest on this podcast. Right. You're gonna dry up. I'll dry up. It really starts to add up. Be honest with you though, I think I'm much, like who said that the, when Brent Weinbach was here, and he goes, dude, 20 years ago, you were fucking wild.

So the version that you're seeing now is just, I'm like, I've changed in so many different ways. You know what I mean? Like I show up on time on sets. I know everyone's name. You know what I mean? I'm very respectful in comedy, you know what I mean? And I try to help people.

I'm just a completely different person. But it's every once in a while, those old habits slip out. Like I'll show you my butt hole, you know? So know so dating yes we have to go back to that real quick yeah okay I was just asked him a question but go ahead what was the question no I want to see you I want to see you too oh thank you yeah so what's your advice then well let's okay so let's bring all these things together. You've got, let's just imagine that your future partner was in the audience that you showed your asshole to.

So in terms of like the order of operations. Got that out of the way. Do you know what I'm saying? Because at what point in a relationship do you show a woman your asshole? No point. Interesting. No point. No point at all.

But like he said, it's out of the way. But no, I just said it. Not if he's ever gonna do it. That's not what he said! I don't know! You're the one that fucking said it! What I'm saying is that... But I did say it. I think a fan seeing your asshole

before they're in a relationship with you is like a microcosm of just this dynamic that happens when somebody falls in love with the Bobby that they see on the internet. Oh, that's a really good point. You know what I'm saying? Because that's not really who I am. Right.

It's all performative. Right. Yeah, my persona. And I'm not saying that they're, obviously they're gonna love you for your ability to be charming and to be funny, like that's gonna be something that makes you attractive. I'll tell you a story.

I was in Spokane, Washington a couple years ago, and my opener, Jesse, everyone knows Jesse, me and Andrew, Andrew didn't wanna go, but Jesse goes, well, Jesse brought me to this fucking tea place, I want you to go. So we walked into a tea store. It was during the day, it was raining. And the lady behind the counter at the tea store

thought we were homeless. She goes, you want some free water? And we go, why? They're like, well, I know it's cold out there or whatever. And I go, we're not homeless. Oh, she goes, oh cold out there or whatever. And I go, we're not homeless. Oh, she goes, oh my God, my bad. Could we look disheveled?

We're on the road. And so she was beautiful. It was like one of those moments where it was like, she glowed, right? And she goes, what do you do? And I go, oh, I'm a comedian. She goes, oh yeah, I don't know about that. Like I'm just, I don't watch comedy.

And I go, oh, I'm a podcast. She goes, yeah, I don't watch podcasts. She had no idea who I was. And then she DM'd me. And she goes, it was good meeting you. You wanna hang out while you're still in town? I go, but then we developed a relationship and then I would fly to Spokane to see her.

Oh. And then she would fly to my, here, to this house. You know what I mean? And she remained having no point of reference for your professional life? Well then she saw me perform. Okay. Right, right. And then she goes, oh, you're very funny.

You know what I mean? But she had no. Taste. Pre-knowledge and we really got along a funny, you know what I mean? But she had no pre-knowledge. And we really got along a lot, you know what I mean? The problem is she had a child and I wasn't ready for that or something. But separate from that, the way that that unfolded, that sounds like that's a healthy way for it to unfold. That's the dream way of it happening.

I think that's only happened once. That's the only time that's happened. It's hard for that to happen. Yeah, yeah mean, that's the dream way of it happening. I think that's only happened once. That's the only time that's happened. It's hard for that to happen. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was one of those cosmic things where I was like, oh, it can happen. Because the reason why I did comedy in the first place is because I was an incel.

What does that mean? You don't know what incel is? He doesn't read a lot. Do you know what incel is? Well, explain to. Tell me what that means. This is like a man who is so down on himself for his bad luck with women that he begins to almost

hate himself and hate women at the same time. And stays by himself. Well, I wouldn't go. Isolated. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I was the kind of incel was like a guy who's celibate unintentionally. Like I wanted to be with my woman,

but there's no one like me. Even since I was a kid, you know what I mean? So it's like, I was like, if I do comedy, maybe then I'll be seen that way. And that's why I did it, you know what I mean? So it's like, so meeting this girl in Soul Can, it was shocking because I was like, oh. She just thought you were homeless.

Yeah, I mean, yeah. Let's not forget that. But like a hipster homeless. Okay, yeah. You know what I mean? Like anyway, she liked me just for my vibe. Because once we started talking, she really liked my vibe. You know what I mean?

And she was half Korean too. So it didn't work out for the reason, but it doesn't sound like you want... that's experience stuck. That's not the type of thing that you wanna do again. You'd rather have a fan. I think, no. Okay, what? I'm asking about the fan part.

Like the fact that she had no point of reference. Yeah, so I'm saying it does work that I like that, but then, but mostly it's fans. Because those are the easiest access to, you know what I mean? Those things that you think- Isn't that a power dynamic thing though? Isn't that? Oh my God, here we go.

Yes. You wanna start a war, we'll go on a war. What do you mean, guy? I just don't- I don't know why I'm getting so angry. I don't think- Say the word. Snack wrap. Snack wrap, thank you.

I ask a question. Isn't it fraught? I've never heard that word used. I know what it means. It just never is. I play Skyrim. The language that they use in that game. You know what I mean?

But I've never heard like a modern person say that. You know what I mean? What does it mean? What? I don't know. It's a mind field. And also, can I say something? Don't do that. I wanna know what it means. But don't look at me, cause you questioned me cause you knew I didn't know what it meant.

I thought you did. So it's fraught? Yeah it is. But it might be unavoidable. Yeah yeah. I mean I'm just saying as... You someone who, cause we can just sit here. But you need to shape up a little. We can just sit here. Are you gonna shape up?

Your approach. Oh, right. You'd only be going for fans. No, but what if fans are coming for you? Which is know your worth as an individual. I think you're right. I'm sitting there not talking, we're not, the guy's got spiders in his mouth.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what you need. A spider in my mouth? Like a ball of white thing that changes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Colloquially. Colloquially. Yeah. Oh my god. I'm elevating your game, Bobby.

In every way, even language. All right, step up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know any fancy words? He said most of them so far. You're speaking language. All right, step up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you know any fancy words? Uh, he said most of them so far. I don't think you know. Yeah, you're right.

Right, I think I am beginning to know my worth, and also I... Pursue someone who doesn't know you from Adam. And then they'll know it's all about them. You can even do it in a creepy way. Yeah. Like, what's that way? Like, get in their DMs. I think they do need to be famous. How does the Raya thing work?

You need to get something out of the equation. I have friends who are on Raya, and they're like, well, it was this way when it started, and now it's like anybody can get... I don't know what the status is at this point. No, it took me three weeks to get Jim Belushi on. But he finally got in. Okay. Oh, okay.

So. He's a great guy, by the way, I love him. So you know that. Shout out to Jim Belushi. So ostensibly, hey, that's a pretty big word. Um. It's huge. The women on there. Very good. The women on there are like, okay, there's something,

is it just they're really good looking or they've done something? They don't like me. They don't like you. Yeah, I have a standup joke, I mean that talks about that, they don't like me. I'm not gonna do the joke, but you know what I mean? Well the joke is like,

I'll forget it, but anyway, yeah, they don't like me and if, when I do like, I met a girl three weeks ago on it and as soon as I met her I was instantly in love Like it was limerence It was unhealthy She was just stunning Right, and then she was kind of funny too. She was funny So when I mean we and then I took her out five times But each time in my mind, I'm like, I mean, we, and then I took her out five times,

but each time in my mind I'm like, I think this is a friend zone. Not by what she says, but how her body reacts to me. Like for instance, put your hand right here. Like if she would, we'd be laughing, I'd go like this, right? She'd pull away. Or she would stiffen up.

Oh. You know what I mean? She'd get the claw hand? Yeah, like she would grip the fucking, you know what I mean? She get the claw hand? Yeah, like she would grip the fucking, you know what I mean, that's if she was on a cliff. Or she would say something like, you know, I can see it, you know, but then we hug, you can see her body stiffen up, you know what I mean?

And every time I try to go in for a kiss, she would like do something abrupt. But she kept going out with you. It's so sad. But she kept going out with you. You're so sad. But she kept going out with you. You're all down here like, what a loser. What a loser. But you have to understand she was a 10.

In my mind, I'm like, is this real? It wasn't. It wasn't. Yeah, yeah. You were taking her to nice spots. Oh, yeah. And then the last time, which was this week, I just, and I did something very grown up.

I looked at her and I go, what, no. What the fuck, dude? Insane. Yeah, I go, hey, can I be honest with you? This feels like a friendzone-y situation. And she goes, I don't know, I just got out of something. I go, it feels friendzone-y. And she goes, why do you, and I told her some of these

things I was expressing to you. And then she goes, yeah, probably. And I go, then she goes, are you gonna ghost me? And I go, oh. Here we go. Ooh. Yes. Ooh. I instantly took it in a ghost.

But yeah, so. But you did the opposite of ghosting, by the way, because you actually. Spoke to her. You said what you were feeling. Yeah, I was growing up and it hurt. I mean, I really thought she was the one. What are you doing with your eyebrows? You met a girl at 18 and married her.

Yeah. What are you, fucking eyebrows? You silly man. Yeah, yeah. What are you gonna say? You thought she was the one because... Okay, I'm sorry. Let me educate you for a second. Mm-hmm.

Oh, God. The way you drank that. Jesus. She was hot and frigid. That's all I've heard so far. That's the one. Dude, you heard so far. That's the one. You're so good. Yeah, so I'm just saying based on not the frigid, but just based on her appearance

and how easy she was to talk to. And she was very funny. She'd say very funny things. So, no, my bad. Come on, Bobby. She said she needed time. I know, once the frigid happened, then it became like,

so I was getting bummed out to the point where I was like, I think I grieved for like a week. And then after I said that to her, I was proud of myself for being, you know what I mean, just upfront and being real and you know what I mean, and asking what's going on here. Because normally, when I was early in my early 20s,

I waited tables with another girl named Anna, and I fell in love with her in that same way. She was beautiful and all that stuff. And I hung out with her for every day for two years and not had any kind of conversation with her. You know what I mean? Why are you laughing? Every time I say these sad things, you're laughing like a.

It really hurts me. I'm kidding. But I, you know, I wish I had the skill set then. Because two weeks, three weeks, I would have been like, hey, what's going on here? Oh, you don't feel the same way? Or I'm out. You know what I mean? And I'm, you know, I'm doing more of weeks, three weeks, I would have been like, hey, what's going on here? Oh, you don't feel the same way? Or I'm out. You know what I mean?

And I'm doing more of this so I don't waste my life. But she was so, I was so attracted to her, but that can't be it. Pure attraction. As an observer, based on what you've told me, I think you're doing the right thing. You are, you're putting yourself out there. I love you so much.

You're putting yourself out there. Yeah. You are, it's not like you're just like not dating at all. Yeah. And you're seeing if the vibes are right, if they're not, you're pulling back. Yeah, and I'm going on a date, second date tomorrow with a girl,

I'm taking her to something, and then I think she's nice, she's great. So I mean, it's not all lost, you know what I mean? Good, cause the clock is ticking. Yeah. What do you mean? Stick with it. What do you mean, dude?

I think there's no clock, I'll tell you this right. On to the next. Oh, you're right, that's what I meant. What I'm saying is, I can have babies older. Oh yeah. De Niro. Not just De Niro, like Theo Von's dad. Yeah.

He was 70 and his mom was like. But you might need to think about freezing your sperm right now because they are getting older and slower. Hey, have you heard about sperm racing? You've seen it? Yeah, we were talking about that already. And let me just say something.

I have a microscope upstairs and my sperm are fine. They have goggles and they have swim trunks. They shave their legs. They're fast. They're like little Michael Phelps. But they are faster now than they will ever be. No, they're faster than they ever were. How do you know that?

Because every year I check them out. I have a stopwatch. Hold on. You haven't peaked yet? No, dude. My sperm is, they're Asian. They're fast, they're sneaky. You know what I mean? Okay. Well, if you're monitoring it,

but the moment that they peak, freeze them. Now you're giving me a new paranoia, really? You think I should? Yeah. Do you have your tubes tied? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Missectomy.

Yeah, you can bust a nut now, baby, what's up? Yeah, right. I'm sorry, that was rude. Yeah, well. That was okay, that was actually okay. Yeah, that was good. No, I felt like, you know what I mean, that would be a normal thing I would say, you know what I mean, other guests. I don't think you would, that was good. That was good. I felt like you know me every like that would be a normal thing

I would say you know I mean other gas. I don't think you would that's why it's really it's funny that you keep doing these weird I'm like where is this all coming from? What are you gonna say just have a vasectomy and freeze your eggs and I mean freeze your sperm Are you okay? Find a nice girl at a coffee shop Are you high? Me? Yeah

Oh man, I'm in California When did you smoke weed? I'm not from here When did you smoke weed? I took an edible When? In the restroom. You're all working right now, dude!

So, wow, it kicked in? Recently. It kicked in? I'm not from here, guys. I'm from Texas. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I love it when you're- I've never seen you this high before, so let's ask you some

questions about that. Yeah, here we go. All right. That's why I brought snack caps. Oh, that's right. It is. Tell me about Honey Badgers. questions about the comic. That's why I brought a snack. Oh, that's right. Tell me about Honey Badgers. Honey Badgers.

You're high. Yeah, tell me about them. What about them? What do you want to know about them? I'm just saying, make it up if you have to. Oh yeah, I'm gonna stand in the comic too. Well, in the working, so. He's teaching me about stuff

They're tenacious they're tenacious. Yeah, yeah, honey badger. Yeah, it's tenacious. It's tenacious their Pharaoh Rabies What they have rabies they have rabies on theies. Yeah, all that's all that stuff man Yeah, they're one of the feast or fiercest mammals on planet Earth, I think In terms of their size capita, is that the right word? Yeah. Yeah Yeah pound for pound. We might have a pound. Yeah. Yeah, they're vicious

I think honey bad you could call them honey, but because they like honey. No, I don't don't know oh yeah I've never seen one before yes there in America yeah oh they're not right Texas in Texas if you guys didn't know this we have a hogs out there right now all right yeah go hog hunting yeah yeah they're all hogs yeah what hey hi mate did you have a question about maybe I count with your best friend I didn't have a question about maybe like how you have a podcast with your best friend? I did have a question because he's talking about his dating life. So I do have a little best friend that we've been friends since like fourth grade.

Tell them about him. And we're comics. Tell them his name. Ralph Barbosa. Ralph? Yeah. You know him? Uh uh.

Okay. Tell him his name. Ralph Barbarossa. Ralph? Yeah. You know? Uh-uh. OK. No. He's a son of a comic, and we're on tour right now. And we have our own podcast, too. And it is beautiful to have a best friend, and you get to grow up in the work group. Do you have any advice for going into this business?

Have you always been friends with him? Or did you reunite? We took a break two years, about like a couple years ago. Cause there was a falling out? Yeah. Whose fault was that? Mine. What happened?

Yeah. He was into comedy full time, then I was into like photography. They don't mix. No. Yeah. Oh, I can see where this is going. Oh my God.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, very good. And going. Oh my God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very good. And there was one night he had a big show. He needed taping. And I prioritized my photography and that it wasn't there to film his set. Oh. And so we just went at it.

And then we just stopped talking. Did you tell him you were going to show up or? Yeah, but I brought the wrong equipment. And then. This tell him you were gonna show up or yeah, but I brought the like the wrong equipment And then interesting story. Hold on. So you did show up, but you just not the right equipment So that's not your bad. Yeah, why is bad? No, I think it is. He brought the wrong he made a mistake Right. Oh, yeah, right. So it's like I don't think it was cause like a two-year What it was a two-year hiatus or how long was it? Two years. I thought you were saying you chose not to go because you had another gig and that kind of made sense

But when you show up with the wrong stuff Is it because you had the stuff for the other gig and you just showed up to this gig? Yeah, I didn't put too much care because we've been talking about it all day. Oh, I see So yeah, and this who called who first after two years? He did. What did he say? He's like it was like a month before his Netflix special. He's like hey what are you doing August 4th? I said nothing. Oh come to my Netflix special. I was like okay. And where did they shoot it? In Texas. Wow. I was like, okay. And you hung out backstage with them? Yeah. And then when did you start doing stand up after that?

Like two months after that. Wow. Did you ever talk about that or was it just, cause guys sometimes will just be like, hey, just come to this thing and then it just picks up where it left off. Yeah. They don't ever talk about the details.

Yeah. Yeah, he's just like, hey, just come to my special and we get dinner and then that's it. We just picked up where. Wow. Just picked up where we left off. It's simple that way sometimes. Yeah.

And also, you know, that means there's really love there. Because we're in the business now, so. It puts a bit of a cringe on my butt when you say that, but okay. I mean you do 10 minutes before I'm on stage, but okay. And now you don't ever have to worry about equipment in general, right? That's not something you think about now He's now in the mix of like like I'll see him in Texas with like really credible guys that he's doing it with You know, I mean, I think that you and because he's on this podcast a lot. I think he's risen

You know me which is a very exciting to see I like everyone knows you now Like in the green room last night of the show in the Bellarmine. If you were like talking about you Okay, yeah, they did they really like them. Yeah. Oh, yeah Ralph or no. Oh Ralph's he's out there already Cuz they don't know they're YouTube and we're in a comic. It's like comedy and photography. Yeah, anyway, you get the question now? Oh no, just any advice of going in business with your friends?

Like do you all have moments where like, okay, hey, let's talk straight business and then just like, hey, let's just like shoot the shit. You have to have, okay, so sometimes you're gonna come to, there's gonna be a disagreement, right? Where there's just two equal wills. And you're like, what do you do when you get to that place, right? Yeah. and so I

have a thing that I can do where I'm a lot I'm I weigh 215 pounds he weighs like 160 and ever since we were kids you look great I will lay on top of him and I let's lay on top of him put all my weight on top of him and I say, I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead and he can't. You can't move. You can't move. That's a fun game. What's it called, I'm dead? That's what I'm dead.

Oh, go. Yeah. I don't like it. Oh yeah. And you used to get a panic attack probably because you're bigger. I compresses the lungs, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I don't like it. Did it seem erotic to you? No. Okay. What if you got a little chub? That'd be weird. Hey, I will say, I will say. Yeah, yeah. I was, I was doing that to you while we were in college.

Yeah. And we were just in our underwear. And it was just, it was. We were having a fight in our underwear. And it was in the middle of that, in the middle of our dorm room, and we left our door open all the time, so people, whoever wanted to come in.

And this guy, a sweet mate, just like. Well, it was like open that much. He just kinda pushed the door open. Wow. And he saw me like mounting Link. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah. And then he just slowly closed the door open. Wow. And he saw me like mounting Link. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah. And then he just slowly closed the door.

Yeah, and he never brought it up again. Never brought it up. And we were like, there's no reason to clarify. Things are simple like that with guys. Yeah, right. You know what I would've done? Went in and then I'd be dead too on top of you. You know what I mean?

That would be funny. And we both said, I'm dead, I'm dead too. That's right. Oh yeah, we've never done that. And then Jaime, you on top of me. Okay. You wanna do it? Yeah. Okay. I like that. One day we'll do it.

I don't wanna do it right now. I'm dead, I'm dead. We're not gonna do it today. Yeah, let's not do it. Yeah, we'll go camping or something. You guys, so I wanna- Bring your girlfriend. I will. Yeah.

You know what? Yeah, thank you, give me positive energy in your life, okay? Bring that girlfriend that you're hitting it off with. Yeah. Thank you. Give me positive energy in your life. Okay, bring that girlfriend So that you're hitting it off with yeah, she was a fan No, she wasn't but yeah, I think she was so this new one that the second date tomorrow. No, no, she's not a fan No, perfect. That's not the one. That's what you want. The five the one I think you're gonna have to go with a fan Bring her around. Why?

Well, I'm just, all I know is what we've talked about. All I know is what we've talked about. Right. And I'm just, you wanna be real right now? Yeah. I know that's your catchphrase. I just think when you. This fucking guy.

It needs to be, it's gonna need to be a fan, but then you gotta set some boundaries up top. Okay. Which the power dynamic, stay with me. Just, you know, give her the power. Yeah. Right at the beginning. Say, hey, listen, I know you were a fan,

but if we're gonna date, you have all the power. That's a good line, too. That's a very good one. And I wanna say something that you proved to me today. Right? I believe, and I really do believe this, right? That when God was making white people, right? I think there's a 15-set mold that he uses.

Oh. Yeah. All right? All right. Yeah, so it's like, you know, you was like the Northman, that guy that started, that's the mold that you had. So there's a guy that I know, he's a guy that's always helped me,

he's a good friend of mine, his name is Ted Newsome. He's in the skateboarding world. I think you have his mold. Okay, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Can you look up Ted Newsome? He's a good looking guy. I'm one of 15.

Oh wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh wow. Yeah, but there is a Ted Nussbaum. Without the beard and all that stuff, and the stuff, but you're a part of that mold. He's a really dope dude.

I'm that ilk of white man. Yeah, yeah. Also, I'll tell you why. When I look at your clothes, from fucking glasses down, He like, pop a line. That's not cheap. You go to, Selfed, what?

Solvang. What? I get all my clothes from the town. Yeah, the Dutch town of Solvang. No, no, no, no. You get it at a high end store. Yeah, I like the shop. Thank you for noticing.

Yeah, so, but Ted's like that too. White t-shirt. Like that shirt is like a Japanese, you get at a Japanese denim shop. That shirt. Is it Japanese, that shirt? The t-shirt. This? It's thick. Yeah, yeah. Can I read the brand? I want to look at the brand. You can look at the brand. Yeah, yeah, I want to look at the brand. Look at the brand, homie. We'll go shopping together. Oh, he loves it. Yeah, yeah, I will look at the brand. Look at the brand, homie. Stop. We'll go shopping together. Oh, he loves it. Yeah, yeah, that's expensive. Yeah, that's not, that's like a couple hundred bucks, bruh.

Before we go, Bobby, would you guys be cool to maybe do a blind taste test with Bobby in Jaime? Yeah. You don't want to eat. But before we do that, I'd love to do it. EJ, I know you're ready. I have to implore with your audience, though. Yeah. You don't wanna eat. But before we do that, I'd love to do it. E.J., I know you're ready. I have to implore with your audience now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because I'm paranoid through the whole thing. I think whatever, however we need to unpack this, it needs to happen on the show. Okay, well number. We don't need to be having some conversation after this. About it, we need to do it now. Talk to them. I need to do it now. Talk to them. I need to do it now.

Talk to their audience. Okay. Yep, yep. Over there. Hello audience. This is good. Mythical beasts. Mythical beasts.

They call themselves the Mythical Beasts. Mythical beasts. There we go. Pretty good opening, right? Yeah. Right? It's like a hat. Mythical beasts.

No, let's be real. I'm sorry, let me open with that. I apologize, you know. A lot of people don't like the way I do it. You know, sometimes I'm aggressive. Sometimes I don't wanna pronounce certain things or, you know what I mean, and sometimes I go on tangents. What are you doing during my apology?

Look at the camera too. Oh, okay. He's mouthing what Look at the camera too. Oh, okay. He's mouthing what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's giving you an edit point. Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We definitely gonna have to clean this up.

No, but, you know, my heart says that, I'm not gonna say that I'm not gonna clean this up. I'm not gonna clean this up. I'm not gonna clean this up. I'm not to clean this up. No, but you know, but you know, my heart says that, I really love you guys. I think you guys are so fun. I can tell you guys are just nice guys. And I think that you have empathy

and I feel like you're good fathers. And I aspire to be like you're good fathers. And I aspire to be like them. I do. I wanna get my shit together. And I think that this meeting. It's not a meeting, it's a podcast. Edit point, it's just an edit point.

Okay, okay. If you do that again, I am gonna lose my fucking mind. Like, you'll never see anything like it. Okay? Anyway, I look up to these guys, and I think this podcast was important for me, something that I can strive to. You guys are very funny, very likable,

and I'm sure your audience is like that, too. I really apologize for my style of doing it. And the things that I say and the things that I do, they're all meant for humor, strictly. So bon voyage, take care, and good night. In morning. Okay, so let's do the food thing. That was good, that was very good.

Apology accepted. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not necessary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Could you guys maybe explain for our audience and to Bobby what blind taste test is? We're gonna be doing fast food burgers.

You're gonna know what you're choosing from. They're cold. And we're gonna taste them blind and you're gonna be saying two things. One, what restaurant you think it's from. And the second thing is, on a scale of one to ten, how good it is. Oh, that's good.

But what you're not gonna do is you're not gonna talk about how cold it is or any of that. Now, when we do it on our show, we have a heat lamp. Yeah, what's our heat lamp? Oh, we don't know. We can't afford to know. We don't have 17 million subscribers. Um, and you just want, all you wanna know is the different choices.

I'm assuming it's gonna be McDonald's, Burger King, Wendy's, Carl's Jr., and... Wendy's, McDonald's, Carl's Jr., and For the Win. Okay. All right, let's bring out the first burger. All right, now fast, though. In order to guess, we gotta do a three, two, one. We have to guess at the same time.

Yeah. You don't want to give too much information away as you talk about it. This is the first burger. Feel free to speak as you do this, Bobby. Talk in the mic, though. I would not. I don't love the fact that I'm not being fed because that's what they typically do. It's too much work.

Do you bite into it yet? Too much information. One, two. I don't know. I've been into mine. That's why I'm counting. We don't have to bite at the same time. OK.

No, we just have to guess at the same time. Oh, okay. We just have to guess at the same time. And then we'll guess at the same time. Yeah. Sorry for yelling. Hmm. If it was warm, it'd be easier. I already know this one.

Ready? Well, hold on. It's horrible. Gotta describe it. Describe your experience. You gotta give it to the viewer. Listen. Mmm.

It's thin. It's thin. There's no cheese on it. Mine has cheese, yeah. Mine has cheese. Mine has cheese. I just didn't taste it. It reminds you of food that I ate when I was, like, struggling.

Oh. Yeah. Memories, okay. Are you guys ready? Our choices are, like, struggling. Oh. Yeah. Memories, okay. Are you guys ready? Our choices are... It's dry. It's dry. McDonald's Burger King Carl's Jr. for the win.

For the win, yeah. You okay? Do a one, two, three, and then go? Well, a three, two, one, usually. Okay, well... It's the same fucking thing, man. Three, two, one. McDonald's!

Carl's Jr. Carl, one. McDonald's! Carl's Jr. McDonald's. Okay, so we're in agreement and they're in agreement. Yeah, so I said Carl's Jr. as well. We can't be told yet because... Why? We gotta keep going.

Because you don't want that to influence... Oh, shit! It's Carl's Jr. because of me. All right. All right. But you think... Leave your plate there. You can't say whatever you said ago.

Or do I... What did you say? What do I do with this? Me? Yeah. It's Carl's Jr. Yeah, and I said it too. Why is it? It's not big enough to be Carl's Jr. No, but it's the Starburgers, the small one.

Yeah, and then the paper is too expensive for McDonald's. The box? The wrapper. I think they're probably right, Bobby. What? There's no way. Yes. I know 100%.

Okay. There could also be fake outs. You saying you could put different ones in different packages? There could have been. Yeah, I hope you can. There could have been. This packaging is quite a hint.

I already know this one. Wait. But remember, we could have taken burgers out. I know this one. I think you might have done that. I know this one. Kick it away, please. I'm a big guy.

I'm a big guy. Oh, this one's easy. Mm. Bobby, what does it taste like? Describe it. Same as the first one is? No, it's very good. This one's a lot better.

Lot better. On a scale of one to 10, I might be pushing a... It's a great burger. I might be pushing a nine-er with this one. It's a eight or a nine-er, maybe even close to a 9.5. It's a great burger. You might be pushing a niner with this one. It's a eight or a niner, maybe even close to a 9.5. It's a great burger.

I would give it a 10 if it was hot. It's got sharp meat coming out the edge. Ready? Yep. Three, two, one. For the win! Absolutely. Jaime?

For the win. Good. I said it, but I don't know. Did you? Yes. He's got... I said it, but... I don't know. Did you? Yes. He's got a secret sauce on it. It's a little bit of kick.

I didn't know it was there. Oh, that's a good burger, man. All right, we have the next burger. It's got the lattice. Okay. If that's for the win, we agree that that's the best smashed burger in Los Angeles. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Have you had heavy handed? Have you had heavy handed? Slightly behind it. But really good. I haven't had it. Heavy handed is really good. They're like almost neck and neck. Alright, here's the next burger.

Can I get a water? Yeah. Grab Bobby's burger. Oh, I know this one. You know this one? Yeah. This one's... Uh-oh. This one's...'s like, the bun is a cloud.

It's very smooshy. Now I'm having doubts about my first guess. Ready? I'm with you, Rhett. Do you like it? Oh, yeah. I don't like it. I know what this is.

What do you give it? Scale of one to ten. Okay, what do you give it scale of 110? Well, I had one of these near my house growing up At the time it was like high up, but I think it's a Four that's what I'm saying. Yeah I'll give a five it gets the job done. All right, it's below av Five, okay. Five. All right, you guys ready?

Yeah, I know. Okay, I may. Here we go. Three, two, one. Carl's Jr. Oh, we all agree, and now you guys have admitted your error. I mean, from round one. I gotta say that.

Double guess. No, Rhett, it's Burger King. What? That wasn't one of the options. No. No, holdett, it's Burger King. What? That wasn't one of the options. No. So hold on. You can't say, Carl, when you said it already. First of all, Carl's Jr. and Burger King, their burgers taste very similar.

Yeah. That char, the like flame-broiled. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so that's definitely Carl's Jr. But you were wrong the first time. Totally wrong on the first try. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That means only you and I.

Are gonna win the whole thing. ...will get a queen sweep. Give me the next... I already know this is what this is. Are you sure? Yeah, I'm sure, dude. All right. Like, I'll tell you why. Watch what I do here.

Okay? The thing I don't love about the fact that we're doing this is that we're proving how easy our jobs are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, this is what we do every day. Oh, this one's easy. Why, Jaime? Why do you say that? Small.

Oh. You know what? I could've made a mistake. Oh, here we go. I'm gonna give this one a seven. Yeah. I think the meat is good here. I don't think you made a mistake He's getting I think it's a six when's the last time you were blindfolded Bobby mm-hmm well

the Japanese and German camps In the 40s late 40s, okay, right All right, here we go. Let's have a guest final one three two one Wendy's Hi, May Wendy's. Okay, you gotta say you can't do that. Oh, I just say Wendy's alright talking louder Okay, you can take your blindfolds off Bobby. You got a queen sweep You guys have a correct first was McDonald's second for the win third Carl's jr. Fourth Wendy's. That's us, right? This is the main and fourth Wendy's. That's us, right? We're the best. Yeah! This is the McDonald's. It's usually not that easy. I don't know.

I think that... Well, because usually we just have just a single bite cut exactly the same from each one, which makes it a little bit harder, but... That was a fun game, man. McDonald's usually is easier. You guys got it, but it's so specific, McDonald's taste that it wasn't coming through

in the coldness for me. The thing that we do now that we, more often than this, is we'll get a dish at different price points around town. So we'll get the real fancy version of something and then the frozen version and then one more version in the middle and we'll taste without a blindfold to see which one we actually like.

Oh, I see, I see, I see. And then you can put a price tag on what your tastes are. If you have expensive tastes, you know. Let me ask you, how did you enjoy this podcast today? You wanna scale it one to 10? No, I don't wanna scale, but did you have fun? Yeah, I had a lot of fun. I'm gonna give it a,

I'm gonna give it an eight. Oh yeah. An eight out of ten. Okay, good. I mean, what's a nine or ten that you've been on? I don't think we've had one yet. Oh, why? Have we had a perfect podcast yet? No, that you've guessed it on other.

What about when we, you know, he cooked for us. Who? Oh, Bert. Bert, yeah. we, you know, he cooked for us. Who? Oh, Bert. Bert, right? Yeah, Bert. I'm saying Bert. Bert cooked for us. He cooked for us.

Uh-oh. Okay, so that's a nine? Yeah, that's a nine. That made that a nine. He made burgers in a little. Yeah, I've done that too a couple of times. Yeah, uh-huh. Okay.

Uh-huh. Performed stadiums with him. I think this has been very challenging, and I don't think I brought my A game, but I'm proud of it. What do you mean? You were killing it. It was great. I'm proud of my showing.

Yeah, you killed it. That's what I need to hear. You guys killed it. It was like having any other great comic on. Here's the thing. Oh, my God. You said earlier... You didn't have fun? No, could we be friends?

And you always do this. You have people on, it's like, oh, yeah, listen. We should be friends. I think you and I specifically, yeah. Yeah. I think we need to put in the work. Everybody else in this business is, I mean, we're only six years apart.

I'll tell you what. What you guys need to do is when you're having a gathering, you know what I mean? If I get an invite, I think that's the first step. Cause I'm a, I isolate. Yeah, I isolate, I don't have gatherings, I don't know what that is. You know what I mean, so it's like, once that happens, I'll be like don't have gatherings, I don't know what that is. You know what I mean?

So it's like, once that happens, I'll be like, okay, this is something I can take a risk on. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like that. There it is. There it is.

They're nominated for an Emmy. No. No. Yes, we should keep playing the song until we're done. We're not nominated. Variety says that we are likely to be nominated. Which means you won't. Yeah, I'll take it. Yeah.

It's almost over. Or is it already over it's it's been over Wow that's insane on you guys um honestly um one day you'll be back on this and um I really had you know I'll be honest with you, didn't know much. All right, full circle. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's the full circle. But I'm kind of glad I didn't, because I was able to really fall in love with you guys

during a process. Ooh, you know what I mean? It's the best way to fall in love, right? It's the best way to fall in love, yeah, yeah. You guys aren't fans, am I? Yeah, see, see, see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I'm not a fan of yours. This is a picture of what love could look like for you.

Exactly, right, these are two strangers getting together and finding it, you know what I mean, through. The fake you that slid into our DMs. Yeah, Liam. That's really how this started. We owe this all to Liam. Yeah, yeah. I mean, I do think that that is the reason why we're here.

I think then we reached out. We were like, what the hell? Oh, wow. Wow. I think that's why we're here. Which is great. Well, I'm glad you did. This is our new interview. Yeah.

Thank you, Liam. Invite me to a... You're welcome. Also, fuck you, Liam. Yeah, fuck you, Liam. Thank you for doing it. And I just feel like there's gonna be a relationship here and I really enjoyed it. That was interesting and fun. I was a little nervous through the

whole thing because I was like, am I doing the wrong thing? You know what I mean? Am I saying the wrong things? Am I the devil? You know what I mean? But I don't think so. I don't think so either. Yeah, so anyway. For the record. Give them a round of applause everybody. Thank you so much.