TigerBelly - Rick Glassman & The Spotlight

Episode Date: August 5, 2026

Actor and comedian Rick Glassman returns and is on the loose. We chat uncomfortable truths, beautifully unnecessary arguments, spontaneous spoken word, epath, Hello Kitty, churro pee, and the spotlight guy.There’s a reason BlueChew is the #1 brand for better sex. Experience it yourself at www.bluechew.com. Promo code BELLY. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

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I want to help help. Why don't you start by zipping it up? I think let's talk for a little bit. Shut up! I'm asking you a question, and instead of even thinking about what I'm asking you, you're not even listening to me right now. You put the microphone back. Hold on.

You didn't think us for lunch. Hey, just relax, man. Do you think that's for lunch? Are you nervous? Are you scared? What are you feeling? Because I didn't realize that this was real until I started this a couple of minutes ago, and I realized, oh, we were making jokes and stuff, and, like, there's something going on.

Breathe. Thank you for lunch. You're welcome. It's very good. Hey, funny. Thank you. We're on Spotify video. Hey, Tagger Belly video now available to watch on Spotify, everybody.

Spotify premium users get fewer ads and more eyes. We love fewer ads. And more eyes. We love more eyes. Yeah. Get the third eye. Fourth. More much videos and watch it.

Hi, Bobby. How are you? Good, thanks. How are you? Ken, nice to meet you. I'm a little sarcastic sometimes. My intention is play, and that's not to make any excuses. But I think everything's in focus because, well, you're the sharpest thing I've ever seen.

Oh, Jesus, I got confused. I thought Bobby had a glow up. Both of them. We're going to use both of them. So Diet Coke is back in, I've noticed. Diet Coke and boobs are back in the zeitgeist. And cigarettes. That's true.

I'll get we started. Do, do, do, do, do. Okay. Okay. Oh, Bobby's starting the episode with I. It's a good one. I, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway.

I've never been able to roll my tongues. Really? Yeah. How many? None of them? None of them. Yeah. All the tongues.

I have a fat Korean, North Korean tongue. No, you don't like it? Can? Not. Yeah. I don't have. Who's can? Oh, your editor.

Oh, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Cut it out? That's right. That's right. Bobby, can you whistle? Wait. Okay.

Can you? Everyone whistle. I can't do it. Can you whistle? He won't do it. All right, how about, that's really good. You want to do a competition, how long we can go? I can't, okay.

This isn't great for the audio listeners. Terrible content. Put on some miso metrics. It's terrible content. Yeah. Maybe it out since Bobby came in and then we could do it again. You want to start over?

No. Yeah, okay, I would. I could just put those, okay, put those on. Welcome back to another episode of Tiger Belly. This week's sponsors our. Yeah, Hello Kitty. No, I'm kidding. I don't know.

Good. I'd like us to have our headphones on it, at least for a little. Can you do that again? Because I want to cut that part out. Which part? That whole thing. Because Helicility wasn't funny. Oh, yeah.

You don't have to cut out everything. You could just cut out the Hello Kitty part, and you could just do your pickup. Oh, let's pick it up. Put those on. Welcome back to another episode of Tiger Belly. This week's sponsors our... Cabbages.

Funny. Funny. Funny. Funnier. Dan? That's not funnier? Fermented. Yeah.

Organ. So, so. Welcome back Welcome back This is my show Oh May I do the introductions

If I may Okay Say May a few more Okay May May flower June July Yeah We have catbird in the house

Give a run of a pause The theme show Comics Unleashed Oh yes I got asked back Did I tell you that Are you gonna do it? No I don't think so

Oh Oh Somebody just put their collar on. And apparently, you know what I mean, UTA signed you. Give her a round applause for that in the big leagues. All right.

You passed yet? Huh? At the store? I'm not. No. You know, you will be. Clap for that. I just want to say that I said somebody got her collar on.

And in case that's not understood, I was just teeing up for a comics leashed. I meant nothing about you being a woman or a man. I never even got that joke. Yeah, I didn't associate it with it. But now I feel a little bit uncomfortable because of that. Yeah. Oh.

So in other words, you're comics leashed. Laft track, LaF track, please. Thank you. We have Luke from Comics Unleased. Right. Yeah, assistant. You should be an assistant at your...

Correct. Yeah, that's cool. I was not asked back to Comics Unleashed. You were not asked back, yeah. But you got on it and that's a good thing. Yes. Rick Glassman is... I have not yet done it, but I am trying.

Do you want to do it? Comics Unleashed? Since I was a little boy. I think you'd be great on it. I want to be on it and I want to have a joke about like Diap Pepsi. See me up for my Diet Pepsi joke. Well, well, welcome to the Comics Unleash.

I'm buying Ireland. What? What? It looks good. It looks good. It's a good impression. Hello, hello. Check out the weather channel. Applaus, applause, applause.

Applaus, applause, applause. Oh, we got Rick Glassman here. Oh, I mean, sorry. Yeah. Wow, well, give him a round of applause. Thanks, Barron. I've been wanting to be on this show. Byron, I've been wanting to be on the show.

No, I've been doing you this with Trump's kids. Yeah, yeah. I've been wanting to get on the show for a while. So you like Diet Coke. You know, it's funny that you bring that up. So, you know what, Byron? Yeah. Byron.

Yes. Yes, Rick. Are you a vampire? I want to drink your glass. Yeah. Rick, Rick. Tell me more. I don't think I want to talk.

talk to you about Diet Coke. Oh. Well, let me, can you cut the cameras? No, no, no, this is part of my act. We emailed you the joke. You know what I mean? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, can you read the emails I send you back?

What I'm saying is, this, this, this, this, this works, okay, so I'm going to T you up. You mean, well, Rick, you mean, leash me up. It ain't comics leashed. Can we? Comics leashed. Hello. You might as well watch premium blend.

Jody Miller, come. That's a good show. I did that show. It is a great show. Okay, so fuck off. Why? I was on that show. It's a great show. Okay, thank you. Applaus, applause, applause. Applaus, applause, applause, applause. I think that's where I learned about Greg Gerol. Tell me about Diet Coke. And that's where I... You've been drinking a lot of type. Pupsie, do the joke. Do the joke. Okay, the bit's over. Okay. Yeah. It's like you set up the pit and you didn't let me do it. Yes, I did. I did do it. No, you didn't. You became crazy vampire Byron Allen

and you went all over the place. You weren't even looking at me when you were talking. I'm looking at the camera. This is my show. And that's the problem. Okay. That's not a problem.

Don't point at me. Okay, so let me do it right. Bobby. Talk about Diet Pepsi. Bobby, it's done, dude. That's the cost of the choices you made. Okay, I'm sorry.

We have other comics. You're supposed to say, Miso. What? Nothing. So horny. Miso. Horny. Is that a song?

It's from a movie. It's so horny. I think Beastie Boys, right? Oh, okay. Do live crook. Yeah, me so horny. Anyway, you're still high. You're still.

You know, you came in with high energy. You're a little high. I'm mellow, dude. Yeah, but, you know, don't tell me that you came here and it's phased out. I'm sorry, but do you not know how to trouble phase on is in right now? I know. Faison's in a lot of... Well, unless we're talking about the remake of Scrubs.

Yeah. And we're talking about Donald Faison. Ah, right. Which is what you say when Zach Braff, the doctor, wants to check your throat. I don't even get that. Ah. Good. So I've been working more on that kind of comedy.

Yeah, it's pretty good. It's pretty good. It's pretty good. So Faison, love is in trouble is what you're saying. I saw something about that recently. And what a talent that man is. He's an old friend. He's a San Diego guy.

I love that guy a lot. Bring him over. I would love to have him on. What trouble? What's the trouble? I don't know. But I saw him in a jumpsuit. Oh.

Right? Was he in a jumpsuit? Yeah. And by trouble, you mean his fashion sense on the carpet? Right. Keep it in. Whatever, man. I don't want to not be able to take swings.

You got to take them. I've been missing. No. Since we've started I've missed. No, you haven't. I haven't? I don't think the whole vampire vire now thing was. That was a big.

I don't think that weren't. We'll be talking about it. Yeah. I mean, Hello Kitty, maybe, but other than that. Well, we're going to cut that. Yeah.

We're going to put in cabbage, right? Yeah. Yeah, the cabbage. That was fun. Yeah, yeah. We're keeping cabbage. We're keeping cabbage. But anyway.

Which could be the name of this episode when somebody says, did you see it and how was it? And you go, K. K. Take it out. Like garbash?

Take it out. Okay. Take it out. Take it out. I can't miss like that. Yeah. Take it out. Okay.

Okay. Good. Good. But like, I've been working a lot. more on phazon kind of stuff. Yeah, I get it. I get it, yeah. You've been doing it.

I've been taking myself more seriously. Oh, in what way? I'm not farting around as many CEOs, if you know what I mean. Yeah, you're not chasing that Hollywood jam. Oh, I was never chasing the Hollywood Jam. Yeah, you were.

No, I was farting around CEOs. What does chasing Hollywood Jam mean? Well, I mean, you were like auditioning a lot, getting shows. Dude, I've had maybe 30 auditions since I moved here. 18 years? Yeah. Oh. But your track record, you got, you booked, the first audition you ever went on, you booked.

Well, I just so happened to have been able to show them that I was able to take direction. I don't know. I was funny enough. You prepared. Yeah, I got lucky. No, then the second one you auditioned before you got. Hey, man, people hit two home runs in a row. It doesn't mean that they're Barry Bonds.

Yeah, it does. Show hail, Otani. Showing. Hey, man. Yeah, you live in a black or Asian, right? Yeah. What about, when you say Mark McGuire, you think, oh, he's cheating. Barry Bons, you don't think that because he's so good even if he was.

Right. I love Barry Bonds. I know so much. We have never heard of Barry Bons explain. He's the San Francisco giant. He's a, like, play the... Oh, he's big... He's big...

Oh, like an Odyssey. Oh, like an Odyssey? Yeah, yeah. He played... Because we just saw it, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, don't do that. I want to get a facelift.

Yeah, don't do that. On front of me, bud. Oh, I can... You know, I'm going to do, too. I have a headache. I have a headache. I have a headache. Oh.

I was... I was thinking about a... A guy who, like, can't... You know, you're trying to read, like, Chinese or something, you can't figure it out, and then he, like, does the thing with his eyes, and it's, like, Percy Jackson style, you can all of a sudden read it. It's, like, perfect English afterwards.

Who does it? Keep it in. That'd be cool. Who does it? Just, like, a guy, it'd be cool. It'd be cool if there's, like, a guy who's... Oh, that'd be cool. There'd be cool.

There's a guy that could go back into the future, too. That's a movie. That'd be cool. That'd be cool. My thing could be a movie. Yeah, yeah. Of a guy, he could understand that Chinese runes and stuff, but he has to go like that with his eyes and people get mad.

Why not just get a Chinese guy, someone who reads it? Well, yeah, yeah. It's like, he has to do it. He's the chosen one. I mean, when he's doing that, is he seeing, like, if he sees a Chinese letter and he's doing this, right, he sees more like beyond the... You know, when you're trying to see far away, you go like this?

That's what I thought. Yeah. That's not a cool power. It's like that. Yeah. That is a very cool. Or go to class. No, but he's got to learn how to...

He's fighting crime. He can't be in class. What's his ethnicity? White, white or white or I guess it could be black. Yeah. Black or white probably. Not Asian. Has to be not Asian. I don't like Listen, I know I'm not worried about

getting canceled, but like I am being honest, I don't, you guys are talking a lot about race and stuff and I just, I'm sorry, but like I think unless we have people here that could speak on the plight of the Yeah, can you turn that off? That's black guy or the Chinese guy or whatever. I guess Mexican would also be an option. No, that's true. It doesn't matter.

I don't know why we didn't. Yeah. Let's try and do an episode where we're not just being edgy. Okay, let's start it. Yeah, I wasn't. Just because you say Mexican is not being edgy. You said the Chinese eyes.

You pulled your eyes back. Mexican. Yeah, you're the one that pulled your eyes back and looked right out. Unless you say food, yeah, okay. You're trying to be edgy. If you just say Mexican,

yeah. And you're talking about the culture. Yeah. How about Coke, Mexican. How about frioles? Fine. Can I say freehole? Mexican free holi.

All right. So holy in prison? Why don't we get started? Let's start from the beginning. My fault. Hey, welcome to comics and leash. I'm Byron Island. And you don't have to be intimidated by me.

Listen, I'm not going to pull it out here. Yeah, let me ask you something. Do you look to Rick like he's an old school guy? We're probably the closest age. How old are you? You're like an elder professional comedian. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He's far above me, yeah. Well, I mean, way far about how old are you? 25? You're five years older than you. That makes me. You're not 30. I just turned 30. There's no way.

There's no way. You're 30 last week. There's no way you're 30. That's impossible. So I knew you when you were eight? What? 96. What year did you graduate high school?

Yeah. I didn't. I didn't graduate high school. Okay, sorry. That's nothing to laugh. That is a fact. That's nothing to laugh about it. He didn't go to elementary school or middle school or high school.

No, I didn't. I went to high school. I left in 2010. In 2010. Are we the same, you left high school in 2010? Yeah. And then what year did you get the first sitcom? I mean, it feels like. I don't know.

I'm trying to do the math here. I really don't remember. 18, right? 2010. Okay? Yeah, that's right. So you got your first sitcom at what? I was in my... Yeah, so you were 21?

No, I don't even think I was 21. I think I was 18. Oh, you're right? 18 when you got your... Because I left. Because I think you had a nightclub. I left high school to bleep where he said he met me. I had a fake, bleep that. I met...

That's crazy. I left in high school because I was visiting and I got a KFC commercial. And then I ended up doing a BMO Harris Bank commercial and an El Poyo Local commercial that's right. I did a... And then when I... And I got the pilot and I was 18

and remember I had to be out here and I was not going to be able to do the El Poyo Local commercial. and my manager or lawyer at the time was able to get them to move the El Pollo local commercial. Wow. And I was so glad so I could do the pilot. So when is your birthday?

July? What? Are you July as well? No, but it was just your birthday. It was last year. Oh, happy birthday, dude. And you turn 30. Yeah, you could tell.

If you look at my face, sometimes if I go like this, I look a little younger. Come on. Come on. You do a little bit. It makes everybody just pull it back a little bit. I just got back from Korea. And?

I'm Andrea Jen. Oh, God. Keep that in. Keep it. Yeah. Boy, I just got back from Korean. Boy, you're my arms tired. That's a merch.

That's really fun. That's fun. That's good to merch. Blue chew. Chew. Chew. Chew. Blue chew, guys.

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Shopify. Oh, yeah. Shopify. Mm-hmm. You know, we have an online business here at Tiger Belly. Yeah, and we use Shopify. But you know why? Because we want to only use the best business to get our products out.

And if you've been sitting on a business idea for a while, Shopify makes it so easy to happen. It's everything you need to start selling is included and ready from day one. It's like this, Luke. You know, I do some interior design. I hire people to make it look at my house to look like I want it to look. That's what Shopify does for your page, right? You can do all kinds of stuff, fonts, make you pretty, you know, to sell your product. You need it.

Yeah. You need it bad. I'm trying to grow my merch myself. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Shopify, anyway. And then what Shopify does is it handles everything. It handles the setup, the checkout. So you can use that time to focus on growing your business and the tools to do it.

And the purple button. What's the purple button? You know about the purple button, don't you? What happens in the purple button? It's a classic purple button that you press on Shopify, the app. Yeah, I've been trying to start getting my merch out there, t-shirt, stickers, all that stuff. And I just have been so overwhelmed with, like, you know, trying to build it all myself. And so being able to use something like Shopify has just simplified everything.

And I'm able to focus on writing jokes and, you know, actually focusing on my comedy. And I, not too much merch stuff. You know what, dude? I love it. Thank you. I love it a lot. Thank you. Yeah.

With Shopify, nothing stands between your idea and a real business, so go make it one. Start your free trial at Shopify.com slash Tiger Belly. Start your free trial at Shopify.com slash Tiger Belly. Yeah. I've never asked you, what made you like want to get into comedy? What do you mean? I mean, I was just, you know, wanted to do it. No, no, he asked me, you fuck Lord.

Oh, he was looking right at him. I'm curious. Fuck Lord. Right at me. Yeah. Fuck Lord. Yeah. It is.

Okay. Why? So you can have sex with as many women as you want? Whoa, dude. Yeah. You were getting girls.

Anyway. I was not. I was a big loser. No. No. No. Fuck, bro. What you did you ask that question to me?

What made me get into comedy? Yeah. I was just trying to move it along. Yeah. Okay. Well, it was a weird segue. Well? As long as it drives on two wheels.

Did you do the El Pollo commercial? Yeah. How was it? I'll send it to you, Cannes. We'll swipe to a moment of it. Did you dance in it? No, dude, I was twins. Just like stacking smoke or the cannibal guy, or they say, I don't really think that.

I don't really know, but the guy that played twins, the VinkleVos. Can you show mine again, please? Your Elpoiloco commercial? Yes, please. And then we're going to show yours, because I don't think you did one. Okay. Yeah. You took a job away from actual twins.

Hey, it sounds more like I got a job that the twins didn't take. Wait, wait, wait. You were twins in the... I'll pull you a local commercial? Yeah. So you were doing Michael B. Jordan shit back then. That's what he said. Stack and Smoke.

I've been hanging out with... Oh, that was a joke? Yeah. Dude, I'm so... I gave Michael Jordan. I'm like three minutes behind. I'm going to send you a picture. I gave Michael B. Jordan the idea of...

Did I come up yet? Look. Did I come up yet? Yeah, there you are. are. No. There I am. Let's see yours now. It's not there. I'll send it to you. I don't.

Pause. Look at that. That's my work. Yeah. That's Mad TV, Bobby. Look good. Yeah, this is before Matt TV. He's on the left. Yeah. Yeah, I know. This is like, this is, here's, here's the, here's the magic of this. I got in right when they were like, you know what, we should use minorities. Because my first manager said, I said to him, I kind of want to say his name, but, um, I I said to him, I go, hey, do you think I can get a commercial agent?

And it was like, you're never going to get one. He said that to you. Yeah, because the landscape at the time was like, you know, I mean, it was just white dudes. And I go, I think it's changing. Yeah. And so I switched managers and I have the manager I have now. And she was like, yeah, I think that's a good idea. And I started booking these.

That sucks that that was a thing and still is. And look, two minorities right there. Yeah. And we were like, couldn't believe it. Yeah. Yeah. I think you guys are just as good as anyone else. Shut up! Fuck you!

Better even. Yeah, we're better. Yeah, at least as good I was saying. Like, I knew a worse thing. Yeah, thank you so much. Is there a Rickl? No. Did you lie?

No. Okay. What are you doing? Luke, have you done that commercial? No. I don't have a commercial agent or anything. I actually asked my managers. I can get you one.

I said, do you think I should get a commercial agent? And they were like, yeah. Okay. Okay. Well, now what I found Rick? Wikipedia, his age is 30. Age 30, 1996. Wow, you are 30.

Yeah, man. Also, I found my Elpoa loco commercial. Okay. This is not a real photo. Kent State. This is a fake photo. This is a doctored photo. Yeah, you, you, you, chichibated this. That's what you were working on.

Bobby, Bobby, Bobby, Bobby. Pay attention to this. I'm glad that. Oh, shit, he was. Bacon. Yeah. Man-slice avocado and crispy bacon. Wow, you look totally different.

Yeah, you kind of look different. I'm an actor. I don't know. Yeah. That's not my voice. That's not my voice. I don't my voice. I didn't do that voice.

I'd do that accent at the end. You're 42. No, no, no. Is that real? Yeah. You look really good. Are you looking right? Why can you own up to where you are?

Dude. I'm 55 and who cares? Damn. Damn, fool. You don't I'm talking about. You know what I'm talking about? Kevin Hart and Don Cheedle. No, that's a baron.

Have you guys seen that clip? Yeah. Yeah, go ahead. No, whatever, man. Did you know who I was doing? You got to pity the fool. Yeah, I missed your tea. Okay, thank you.

Thank you. Was that Byron Allen? That was Byron Allen. It caught crossed between. Right, right. Yeah. What's going on, dude? What's going on with your mustache?

It's different. That's good. Yeah. It's like one of those Odyssey oceans. That goes on forever. It's a stretch. It's a stretch. Okay.

Yeah, yeah. The Aegean. The Aegean Sea. Yeah. Yeah. Did you see it? I'm seeing it on Thursday. Oh, you're going to love it.

You see it? IMAX? That's good. You didn't like it, though? No, I loved it. I really liked it. No spoilers. I thought that the sirens.

Oh. Yeah, you can say that. I thought that I wanted to see more of the sirens. Tell me when you're done. Okay. You can shut your ears off like that? You can't hear you. It's like closing your ears?

You can't hear you. Okay. Okay, we're done. What did you say? Are we done? Yeah, we're done. Yeah. You heard her through just the actual...

What do you call it? Life. Life. The world. Yeah. Okay, is it your high done yet or no? I feel like you're still high. Let me be, man.

Let's just talk, man. What's going on? All right. Like, help me shine here. Okay. Just let's talk, man. Tell me about your Pepsi Cola. Yank!

So, yeah, let's talk. How long have you guys been dating? Okay. Kat and I? Yeah. We're not, we're just friends. Well, that's not what I heard. Roll the clip. Roll the toe at tape.

Do something funny with AI. They are quite local? Yeah. Well, cats, are you dating still, Cat? I'm single. Oh. Yeah, yeah. Are you like you done with the dating?

Am I done with it? Yeah. Are you done with the dating? That's not of like where you asked it. Can I try it? Are you done with the dating? Bye or not. No, no, no, no, na, na, na.

No, no, no. No, no, no. You're beginning. Yeah, I'm beginning. Yeah. It's the Odyssey. It's the odd. You got, you should date.

Well, I feel like I'm a little young for you. Yeah, you're only 30. That's true. You're only 30. You're only 30. You're only 30, yeah. Years old. You know, when I first started coming around Tiger Belly, there was glass up on the wall.

Oh. Oh, there was. Yeah. Yeah. And COVID. Yeah. And. What happened?

Oh, sorry. Oh, go. No, go ahead. Okay. No, no, after you. Please. I was just wondering if Honda is still around. Yeah, Hans Kim is around.

Hanta is it, Hans Kim? Hanta, do you remember that? Hanta virus, yeah. Is it still happening? It's not. Oh, it's gone. It's Bobby the spokesperson. I'm the spokesperson.

And birdflow. Yeah, that's my two add-a-it. I'm sponsored by them. By bird flu? And Hanta, yeah. Yeah, I can't even get bomb. I guess it's called, take your shoes off. Yeah.

Nobody heard me. Yeah. I heard you. Really? Yeah. What was the first part? I don't really remember. Yeah.

Oh, you heard me, but you forgot? Well, it's so fair. And that's at the car. You're like how Woody Harrelson doesn't actually hear Jimmy Hendrix and White Man Can't Jump. Rick, have you always been really smart? You know, I got smart like 10 years ago. How did it happen?

I became 20. Yeah. Tell me about history if you're so smart. What happened to the Civil War? Which one? Byron Allen. Oh. Just kidding.

Which one? You know, when FDR created the New Deal, he wasn't just creating the U.S. he was also setting a set of sex and balances and stuff about the economics. You say sex and balances? Oh, you have meta glasses. That's what it is. No, I have to go.

That's how you got so smart. You got those glasses and then just made you smart because you can read stuff on the glasses. Sorry, I couldn't hear you. I was too busy masturbating. On your glasses? Yeah. I don't know, man. You masturbate must be very clinical.

I agree. Dude, I masturbate you. I'm going to put that toilet paper here. Right? I'm going to have a little bit right. No way, dude. I'll come anywhere. My little machine here.

I'll come anywhere, dude. They're lying. Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. I mean, is there a ritual or no? A certain time, maybe? Yeah. Yeah.

Go time? Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's all go town. Yeah. Andy Cozell once said that he... I love Andy Cozell. He said that I feel like I'm always five minutes... Masturbating makes you five minutes late anywhere.

Yeah. I always thought that was funny because it was like, oh, he's somebody that probably gets horny if he has to go do something. So he masturbates and it's like I could do it quick but it's still I'm I masturbate when I have anxiety I have a little bit of both for me yeah here's what when I do it Can't other people talk or no camera didn't even have the cut to me dude okay so anyway We just play the game yeah yeah talk about masturbating your anxiety I just feel like it's sometimes that's what happens You're a little bit stressed or or like you're like you said oh is that what you do is that what you do

when you have plans? Oh, I don't masturbate. Oh. I haven't masturbated in almost three hours. Good. You were just on a pod. Oh. Jesus.

You just got sneaking up on me like that, dude. Sorry. Yeah. That was a lot. Sorry. Yeah, I apologize. I'm sorry. Okay.

You know he's bust and voles. I'm like, I'm down to earth just like you. Yeah. What's his name? Lucas. Yeah, yeah. Luke. Is it short for Lucas?

No. My name is Lucas. Luke is in its own name. I live on the second floor. Your birth is that the song or no. That's like Rick. No, but Rick isn't my actual name. Is it Richard?

Like that. How can when he's saying no one even got into it? We should all sing that song together. Did you guys all think that Luke was short for Lucas? Did you ever, did any of you think that Luke was an actual name? One, two, three. I didn't know that. My name is.

Everyone. One, two, three. My name is Luca. I live on the second floor. Like Bob is Robert. Yeah, I guess depends who you ask. Nobody's born, Bob. People are born off.

I'm Robert. No. Yeah. Can we talk about anxiety or? Oh, yes. You were talking about jerking off? Kat, that's short. Okay.

Sponsors. Everyone's a shortened name here, except for me. No, there's got to be a longer version. What is that, is that short for Catatonic? That's Sarah. Come on. No, it's Catherine. Catherine, yeah.

Yeah. What's your, what's your actual name? Bobby? Robert. Robert. Yeah, Robert. Yeah. That's what I just said.

I said, everyone's a short name. short name here except for me. I'm just Luke, period. Boom. But before that, great sounds, but before that were saying, Bob. Yeah. Can we call you Lucian? That'd be cool. Lucian is one of the

is one of the werewolves in Underworld, right? Sigmund Freud's brothers, name was Lucian. That's probably why they did that. Did you see all the underworld? There was a lot of those movies. Yeah. Yeah. I love them all. Yeah. And I had a huge crush in Cape and sale because, hey, I'm a guy.

Yeah. But also the other actress who plays one of the underworld things. I don't remember her name. Hugh Jackman? No, no, no, no. In underworld. Underworld. Will you look up the underworld? What is it called? It's just the last one. Yeah, but it's a different underworld.

What's the last underworld called? Without Kate Beckinsale. Underworld, like... Oh, Rona Mitra's very pretty. Rona Mitra. Anyway, Underworld was a series of movie. It's too blue, almost. It's so blue. Is it not a blue? It's too blue almost.

Yeah. Yeah. The filter. I used to not love the Batman cartoon when I was growing up because it was too dark. Like sometimes you couldn't see stuff. Right. Like Game of Thrones, what was it called? What was the, no spoiler here, but the Battle of the...

Bastards. No, that very end with the White Rockers. That was too dark. That was too dark. You just saw the episode, right? And the blue makes me also feel it's like it's a little... It's too blue, yeah. I don't like it to anything, too yellow, to...

I wonder if that's that Berenstein Bears thing. though. What's it called? Yeah, a Mandela effect. Yes. Where maybe I'm, because I'm picturing the Blu-ray. Oh, my God. I know it's dark, but is it blue? Because it makes sense. Yeah. I don't know if that's the case.

If you're named Bob, and that's your full name, and you really remember the color schematics of Underworld, will you please send me a message? I want to send you merch. I just learned about the is it Mandela effect? That's it. You're talking about, well, which one are you talking about? The one where

you think that something, but it's something else. Oh, yeah, you mean like, like, like, false imprisonment? Can I give you a Mandela effect that you might not know? Sure. Right, during the Batman, the original Batman, like with, what's the name, West, what's his name? Adam West.

Adam West, right? He didn't have an eyeball in the show. What do you mean? He just had one eye. Adam West has one eye? Yeah. Why didn't he play Jack Sparrow? Exactly.

Great point. Yeah. That joke didn't work at all because I made up a Mandela effect. What? What's the joke? The joke is making up a Mandela fact. No. The joke was Captain Jack Sparrow.

Okay. Yeah. Dun, da, da, da, da, da, don't. Oh, Jesus Christ. If I were editing this, I'd be so embarrassed of myself. No. You got this, right? Ken, will you do this one?

Have you watched all the Pirates of the Caribbean? Oh, yeah. I rewatch them not too long ago. How many are there now? Oh, I don't remember. Three or four? Three or four, yeah. You know, back to the Batman cartoons,

there's a new one coming out that I'm very looking. forward to a cartoon, a Batman one. I bought it, I pre-ordered it. Oh, so it's out already. No, I don't think it's out yet. It's in the can. It's in the can. Yeah, I pre-order it. I love those animated Batman movies. Can you suggest one for me?

Well, I think maybe if you, it's not a movie, but have you ever seen the show Gargoyles? No. I think you'd like that. Is this made up? No, it's a real show. Really? Gargoyles? Yeah. I don't believe. I don't believe you. I watch this as a lot. again. Oh, you're... Wow. Why would I like the gargoyles?

You know, they look like a space jam characters, don't they a little bit? Yeah. Yes. What's a human about in the middle? That's not a human. She's not a human? She represents... She represents the world. AOC. Yeah, that's AOC, dad. That's kind of like how Megan Markle was in suits. Yeah. Oh, I love that. AOC was in gargoyles. The green one, Stephen Miller. She's fighting wall. Yeah. Do you have a favorite Batman villain? There were some, there are some that like, I've got really that into. People, you know, if you look at the Batman villain list, people really love Iceman.

Yeah, but how do you do that? Who the fuck is ice man? Mr. Freeze. Yeah, yeah, yeah, Mr. Freeze. My bad, my bad, my bad, my bad. People really love Mr. Freeze, right? And it's like, how do you do that in the Matt Reeves world? Make Mr. Freeze?

Yeah. I mean, he's such a character. Probably, like, dry eyes. No, because, you know, in the Matt Reeves world, right? Everything is grounded, correct? Yeah. Like even the Christopher Nolan and Batman's, all the villains are grounded. Like they could be real.

How do you do Mr. Freeze in a, maybe we'll discover it in the second movie? I don't know. There's some of them, like how do you do poison ivy? Poison Ivy, I think you could do. You can make her like a crystal lady and she could be kind of weird. And just poisoning people with like, I don't know. I don't know. You know like Circe's in The Odyssey?

Yeah. I feel like. Make it like that. Yeah. Yeah. There's also like what's the crocodile guy? Mr. Croc? Mr. Penguin. No, crock.

Go to Croc. Who's Crook? Killer Crook. Yeah. Now, these ones, right, they did Bain. I thought Bain was good. Yeah, but, like, how do you do man bat? How do you do you do something?

They're doing Clayface is next. I know. All you do is pull my shorts down. Yeah, I don't care. I'm going to move on without you. If you're not going to add. Solomon Grundy, right, is dead, actually. How do you do that?

I think Clayface would be difficult. They did it. They did it. They're doing it. They already did it. What do you mean? Look at the trailer looks great. Really? Yeah.

And it was, okay. Yeah. The Mad Hatter's a good one. Calendar Man. Yeah. Have you heard about him? He's like one of the more underrated villains. Tell me about Calendar Man.

What's his villain powers? He just knows the dates. That's good. He remembers all the things. Yeah, he tells Batman, I'll be here March 5th. You know, if I had to play any Batman villain right now with my energy, I think I'd want to play Joe Chil. There's no just Joe Chil.

Oh, there's, yeah. You are Joe Chil. You are Joe Chil, man. You're Joe Chil. Hey, I'm Tony Zucco. How about Carmine Falcone? That's kind of a cool one. No, Carmine Falcone's already in it.

He's in it. Oh, he's in it. Yeah, he's already in the world. He's, uh... Oh, big, too. He was played by... All these crazy names. What's his name?

King Tut. From, uh... John Tutu. John Tutu. John Tutu plays Carmen and Falcon. That's cool. Yeah, I don't know. Salmerone.

Hey, Salmerone. Hey, I'm clocking. I know calendar man We do time Oh false face Yeah that's Andrejean Bro How about crazy quilt

That's kind of fun Yeah crazy quilt What's going on? You can't add? I'm not I'm not I'm not easy What is going to tell me what's going on He's talking you, it's weird Don't see what I said

Okay I don't know I didn't hear it you said Hey Bobby is that a new camera Take a look real quick Oh? Never mind. I thought I saw something. Yeah. Nothing, man.

We were just talking about how we think the views were probably going up during that part. Right. Right. I'm trying to steer the ship into different areas.

Yeah, I know. And Mr. Freeze is on board because Iceberg, right ahead, why don't we turn on to something else than making silly jokes about Batman villains that we don't know.

Nice. Yikes. Yeah, that's smooth. But this is something that you're into, no? Yeah, you know, I'm into taking a shit. I don't want to do that for an hour on this podcast. Into taking a shit.

Buddy? Better out than in. My grandfather used to say it's better to belch and bear the shame than not to belch and bear the pain. Okay, can I ask you this? What about Bobby Lee? That's a good villain. Oh, yeah. Shout out to Scott Hepburn, Illustrator.

Yes. Drew these. Oh, Bert Kreischer, that's a fun. That's a fun one. That is interesting. Did you see that the laugh factory has, has, um. Yeah, they started doing cards. Yeah.

What do you think about that? Hey, man. blah blah blah blah flattery you know what I'm trying to say yes I do okay I think you're in those deck of cards yeah well they gave me five grand I'll tell you something I'm like it ain't worth it but at the end of the day I was like I'm just it's $5,000 that's good money that's good money but but but like I didn't want to do that because like I'm making my own cards here but like I'll give you five thousand dollars you've got to sign some stuff I'm like you know what I'm not gonna come on here and say, hey man, I'm fully enlightened and I'm not going to do shit for cash.

Straight up, dude. Sell out. Yeah, sometimes. Yeah. Sometimes. But I'm not going to be ashamed of it because it doesn't feel like it's not part of my identity. If there's something that I don't want to do, but you'll pay me enough and it's not that big of a deal.

Yeah. You know, like I've said no to shows and stuff, not big things. But like I said, no, I don't think I'll shine in this. I don't care about this. I say no all the time. You know what I'm doing now? It's like, hey, do this? Give me the fucking.

Bag, dude. Ah, bag. Yeah, I'm saying like, hey, I don't want to do this thing. It pays $1,000 and it's in California when I'm here. And it's a, like, that's not enough money for what this is. It's a full day of a thing. I don't think this is that funny. I used to be like, not a chance.

Now I'm like, give me $3,000. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm, give me $3,000. Give me $3,000. And then I'm going to use that money to help the poor. I mean, I have money for that. I already have enough for that. How much?

I mean, I'd probably give to charity probably $20,000 a year. $20,000. What charity? That's crazy. Being 30 am able to do that? Hey, man. You know what? I'd love to give a shout to E-Path. That's people assisting the homeless if you want to pull their website up. Oh, no, we'll do it. It's a wonderful charity. It's a wonderful organization

where they help find families. They not only take them off the street and get them a home, they also help pay the rent for the first year, and you go in with a group of people, you can make like a trip out of it, you get to know the family, you bring. Do you know somebody that? that has a mattress and somebody, like somebody you help stock the fridge and you want to do what do you do, do you do, do you do you do you do you want to do one together? I mean, the only reason I'd say no, I want to do five together. Let's, no, let's do, I will do one together. Right, let's do a,

we'll get up people assisting homeless. It'll be sponsored our treat to them. Yes, I want to go and do something like that. Can we just, can we just, can you, can you, can you just, can you, can donate your time, you could donate, as long as it's like new stuff, nice stuff. Okay. But like, like, like, if you ever like, hey, I have this. I have this. I have this. I have this. I have couch and it's you know we got a new couch and it's like it looks new and it's clean like think like what do I do with it oh contact them contact them say I have this furniture I don't you know they can help arrange I want to do it I want to do an 800 pound man kind of thing what's that mean like you know he's in a apartment

eight out yeah we got to lift him because we have to put new furniture in I don't know if you can't wait look we're like lifting them out right and then bringing them back in and we have conversations like do we have to bring him through the door do you like one piece Whatever they'll have. But, yeah, that'd be cool. Okay. I want to help, help.

Well, why don't you start by zipping it up? And I think that's talk for a little bit. Fair, fair enough. How long you've been on Tiger Belly? I don't know. All right. Bobby? Do it.

I'm trying. I don't. Hey, I like to have me. I'm like a side guy. Like, people, you know, people balance off. I can't. I'm not a spotlight guy. I can't.

Try to be a spotlight. I can't. Oh, wow. Oh, okay. So could I, could then, could the lights just be on in the room for a moment? And you happen to be in them, but it's not just on you? And can I ask you a couple of questions? Because I came in here a little stoned and I'm only... Very stone.

Yeah, I think very. Okay. I think very. Okay. You're eating the... You're not normal. You came in here with munchies. You're asking for hot Cheetos and stuff and...

Oh, now I know why you're not a spotlight guy. Jesus Christ. Asking for Cheetos and now you're attacking me. You put me in the spotlight and now you're attacking you. Shut up. I'm asking you a question and instead of even thinking about what I'm asking you you're not even listening to me right now

you put the microphone back hold on you didn't think that's for lunch Hey just relax man You know what you need a little Joe chill Relax I'm asking you a question And by far even more annoying than me The most annoying part of this episode

Was the last minute And it's not because you're shining It's because you're telling You're telling the light guy, get away, get away. He's just trying to do his job. You're here. Look at it. You're in the light.

Now, I want to ask you something. Okay. Are you nervous? Are you scared? What are you feeling? Because I didn't realize that this was real until I started this a couple of minutes ago. And I realized, oh, we were making jokes and stuff. And like, there's something going on.

Before I, okay, first? Yeah. Breathe. Thank you for lunch. You're welcome. It's very good. Hey, funny. Thank you.

Sincere. Hey, you know what? Yeah. A little reflective. Yeah. Second? Before you say it. No, your job isn't to hit the ball.

Your job is to step up to the plate and be present. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. That help. Like show him. Yeah. Yes.

But that's that the joke? No. Okay. Second one. So what is it? Could you just tell me the truth without, without projecting under what other people will be thinking, but how you're feeling? Sweaty.

Right now you are. Are you under pressure because of his energy right now? Bobby, if, if, and listen, I should take this note. If we could be quiet when somebody nervous starts to answer, maybe they'll start to continue to answer if we give them the space. I know, but he sat here through Dave Franco and Thomas Lennon and all these people, right? and he was in the pocket, right? But I think you're making him nervous.

They're not. They're not artists like me. They're not artists like me. I know. Oh, okay. They give $20,000 a year to charity. Oh, charity is my ex-wife's mother-in-law, by the way. Okay.

I understand that you're nervous, but you're not nervous because I don't want to take away from Bobby. You're nervous because I don't know what to say. I'm not saying that's what it is. But I'm saying there's another layer underneath. But that's what it is. Are your parents divorced? Yes. Of course, my parents are divorced.

Yeah, fight back. I like this. Oh, sure. Go in. Go into him. I'm not going to go into the gas. Yeah, yeah. You don't have to say no to him.

Look, look to me. Say yes. No, you don't say anything. Just like, oh, Bobby's throwing stuff at the wall. I've seen something stick. I've seen something stick. And it's messy. The whole house smells like this, by the way.

What's that about? The whole house smells like this. It's crazy. It's cat pest, yeah, yeah. I have three cats. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. We have three cats. But how many pussies? Here we go. That's good. Learn. Yeah, I'm trying to listen and learn. I also want to acknowledge that I don't love

that only somebody's pussy is a negative trait. Because I think, I'd love to see a man give birth out of his dick. That's true. Women are strong. They are strong. But men could also give birth out of their dick. It would be much painful, I think.

Yeah, I mean, imagine. The hole's so small. That's what the movie Jr. was like a vein, like a little vein, the whole. Ouch. Yeah. Have you seen the movie Jr. With Arnold Schwarzenegger

where he gives birth through a baby through his penis, I think, right? Was it a small baby? It's an arnie baby. No, it's thick. It's thick. I don't remember what the baby was.

I remember they originally offered it to Will Smith, and Arnold really wanted to do it, and he said, please let me do it. I'll be black. That was good. Thank you. Anyway, I am sorry for what...

Oh, you're not even letting me... Oh, actually, now you know what? I'm not sorry anymore. That's actually tough. I was like empathizing for a little bit. I'm like, oh, I literally can't even say something. I didn't even get to say. I'm glad you can empathize for a little bit.

Thank you for your brief moment of empathy. Just for a moment. Yeah. I am, we're so on a different frequency and I didn't realize that until recently. And I'm like, listen, I'll take, I'll take the blame. Can I, can't even say something. This is the second part today. Right?

So he's warmed up. No, he had a big launch, right? He's a little groggy, right? Am I not right? Yeah. Yeah, and it's like you already play the game. Yeah. It's like telling somebody to play two games in one day that day.

Frankly, I was nervous that this exact thing would happen because you are very sharp, you're very on it, you're very quick, you're a professional podcaster. I'm not a professional anything. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. And I was like, oh, Rick's going to come in here with big energy. I have to make sure that nothing goes awry and nothing gets flipped on me. And here we are. I'm the freaking butt of the joke.

I'm the big stupid, stinky, sweaty idiot, okay? And that's what I'm trying to do. You're doing a great job. You're a good guest. And I don't want to take away from your skills of doing it. And I'm done talking. Thank you. Everyone's uncomfortable with silence.

I just want to take in and hear what he's saying. Yeah. That's an actual movie. And that's where the baby came out of his wiener. You feel like you have to show up a certain way. And because of the way you feel I am, you feel it's difficult to do. that. In a way, I could look at that as I'm like taking away your energy. I'm like casting a shadow on you, but I don't feel responsible for that. I do understand, recognize I'm coming in with this energy. I would love to give you a little bit of advice for not for you to do,

but for you to consider, because what do I know? You're a homicidal mania. Have the conversation. You're out of your fucking mind right now. And let it be bad. Don't not have the conversation because you're afraid it might be. Luke, take it or leave it. Leave it, leave it. Because I really wanted to talk to you for a second. Was it in earnest though? Leave me alone.

Yeah, see, it wasn't in earnest, though. It was a question to set me up and debate me. Stop, I just said it was. Do you know I'm joking? Yes, I know you're joking. Oh, yeah. Come on. Dude, you're killing me.

It'll be tough. This is a real movie. I've never heard of this movie. You have? I literally have never heard of it. So he's pregnant. Yeah, he said he'll be black. Wait, what did you say?

The Will Smith joke. It was the Wolf Smith earlier. Yeah, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, you have to follow. Do you know that he almost really did this in real life, but they couldn't figure out the technology didn't exist at the time? But he actually was down to give birth.

Oh, like method. Yeah. Yeah, really do it. Yeah. They don't have the technology now. Yeah, they do. That's not his real belly? It's probably his real belly, but they probably painted it red.

How did he become impregnated? Are they a couple of these two? No, that's his twin. They're twin brothers. Oh, so this is an option of twins? Junior is twins too. People don't know that, but they even have the same names in it. It is, yeah.

So they're brothers, but... No, they're not, no, it's a science experience. He's a scientist. But now, but they're still twins? Yes. He's a scientist and he did the science on himself? Yes, I don't remember exactly. It came out before I was four.

full of metal right now? So is it a Terminator thing too? No. No, no, no. Maybe infuse all of it. You know what I mean? Infuse, like water. I'll be back.

It was Mr. Freeze. I'll be back. What movie is not from? Terminator. Okay, very good job. You're on it. I saw an interview with James Cameron that Arnold wanted to make it,

I will be back. I don't remember if it was maybe something because of his accent and you wanted something. And James Cameron was like, no, this is better. And it was actually like a little back and And Arnold's like, it's like my biggest, it's, you know, catchphrase.

Yeah. Arguably the biggest catchphrase ever. Yeah. Yeah. That and dynamite. That's a big one. Yeah. But the nightmare of Jimmy Walker ever since then, he was, he's the one that said it.

Yes, I made a different joke. Okay. What's going on with us right now, dude? We're not in rhythm. And you know what? It's my fault. No, it's not. Have you ever seen Goodwill Hunting?

Is that okay that I asked you that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude? Yeah, I've seen it. Yeah. And I would appreciate someone saying that it's not my fault. It's not your fault. Thank you.

There's something going on in your mind right now. Okay, so it is my fault. Well, it's your fault for reacting that way. But not for having those feelings. Look at the crinkles in his eyes when he smiles. I don't know, because it seems like you're, I don't know if you know that I'm being playful. I know, I know.

But it doesn't, you don't like it. No, I. Because you're getting so upset that it's fucking. nuts to me. Because I'm like, are you joking? But you're not now. I am joking.

No, he's full of rage. But it's real, man. There's something there's not. It's not. Well, then can I keep playing the way?

Yes. Is there something you like it? All right. Well, you want to see the dragon. No. You're going to show the dragon. No,

I'm not showing a dragon. Yeah. Show the dragon, I'm going to grab the snake. Okay. Yeah. That callback. That was a long time.

That was from the other, that was from the other podcast we did earlier. Yeah. It's in the universe. You pulled way back, dude. Yeah. You went to the Iliad to do the audits. Yeah.

What about, what about Cat? How are you, Kat? I'm good, I'm good. Going to Rick blazing to Cat because I don't like her attitude either. I'm not here to blaze. I'm here to connect. Yeah, you already blazed on the last five.

Yeah. Good one, dude. Thank you. Yeah. Are you seeing anybody, Rick? I'm, I'm dating. I'm dating. Well, when I say,

say I'm dating, I mean like I've gone on some dates and I'm open to going on some dates, but I'm not really actively dating, nor am I avoiding. I think I'd like to be dating. Yeah. You know what I really like to be doing? Tell me. I'd like to be continuing this podcast and having a great time and connecting with you guys. And then I'd like to go pick up my doggy from camp where I put him at camp for the first time. Oh, that's sweet. That's nerve wracking. And go home to to my partner, guy or girl? Yeah. It doesn't matter. Preferably a girl. Preferably a boy. No, preferably.

A man, maybe. No, I'm more attracted to women than I am men. I've never sexually been with a man. I just feel like I couldn't marry one because, like, how many times do I have to tell you how to put a dish in the dishwasher? You put a bowl on the bottom rack, if there's not a separate sprinkler for the top rack, it's stopping the upper thing from doing it. I just learned that.

Yeah. Well, you know what? Your frontal lobe cortex is whatever. Why are you peeing on the toilet seat? I think my boyfriend would do that. You would do that. Yeah, just pee all over the toilet seat. And nothing in the toilet seat.

And nothing in the toilet. Oh, no. When I pee, and I'm old-fashioned, if there's a lady over, I'll pee on the porcelain so she doesn't hear how big my dick is. I'm serious. Does that make it? Is that how you can find out how big it is based on? If you know about dicks and piss, you could hear someone. It's that thick.

You could hear someone's piss. It's hitting the water that hard. It's not that the piss is thick. It's not that you're wider. I don't know, man. I feel like. You brought it up. You got a churro dick, dude.

It's probably thick as fuck. And cinnamon is shit. Shit. Mine? Very good. Yeah. There is a flavor. I'll tell you that.

Your dick's probably only this long. It's more sore. But it's this thick. But there is a flavor. Can't get my hands? Churros aren't that thick. Oh, no. Yeah, it was a slam on me.

It's not about the thickness of a choro. It's about the aspect. Mine has ridges. The texture. It's the aspect for show. Oh, also, when I'm thinking churro, I'm thinking, I'm thinking Jack in the Boxes churros, not a long thin ching. Ah, I see.

Because it has the thick hole. You said the piss is thick. that urethra with the cinnamon stuff comes out, that's what I was thinking. And sometimes you dunk them in icing. I never... I used to get the strawberry milkshakes with Oreos. And then I would use the churros as a spoon for it.

I used to eat that stuff five years ago when I was your age so much. Sometimes churros aren't good. I agree. It's true. I'll tell you when they're not good. Hot take. Yeah.

Or they're underdone. They're either underdone or they're stale. And when they're stale, they're not good. Dry? Hot take, dude. Yeah. Are you sure? Cut that out.

Churros, man, when they're stale, okay? They're not good, dude. Yeah, that's like saying when you go to a blah, blah, blah, yada, da, da-da-da. Fill it and post. I can't say anything to know. Today, I cannot say anything. Yeah, welcome to my world, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I cannot. It's chaos. To gang, like, use this to connect. I think that. I mean, I've been feeling that way, too. No coaching. I can't. Actually, I need coaching.

Actually, I take it back. Cut about gaslighting. Can't Cat and I have our own observations on churros? I like that you said that because I think it's true. I think it's true too. Of course it's true. I don't like bagels when they've been after they're two weeks old. What is stale but good?

If it's hard and it's not hot. See, I like what we did this so this could happen. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I totally. Did you see that? I did.

I do now. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. That's my psychology. Guys, you're so safe. I go. Let's do the churro thing so they could go against us. Right.

Because we don't even really believe it. Let him go. Let him go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But now we have... Let's pop. Yeah, to rip into me. Rip into me about bagels or about stale. Yeah, we'll come.

Go ahead. Tell us. Is there anything stale that's actually good? I mean, I don't think anything stale by... I never even thought of it this way. Stale as a word means bad, I think. I don't think stale. Yes.

You know, this guy's stale. Or if you're like, if you're from the street and your past tense of taking something that doesn't belong to you. Stale, I stale. I staled it. Jesus Christ. No, both times, no. No.

Okay. I think certain things can be stale and nice. Can we talk about avocado? Her name's Kamala, not Kamala, by the way. Yeah. Kamala. Come. Yeah.

No, I also hated that. I hated when people were to say her name wrong, man. If women ran the country, the only war we'd be in was how fucking sexy I look in this dress. Exactly. Because women know how to style. They know how to be styled. They know how to receive information without their egos. What's the matter? My dick's too small? No.

Chiro. You're just, we're just trying to, listen, they have a different culture than us. Yeah. They're different, they're not supposed to be us. Why don't we just live, man? Yeah. You know, women, traditionally, biologically born women, they give birth to life. All we do is eating nachos and jerk off.

But Arnold does, did it. He gave birth to. I'll clap, I'll clap, I guess. Mark Wahlberg Unvincible Underrated Undispensable Matter of fact

A figure of opinion White or black We know the jurisdiction Of our minds eye Reflected in the mirror backwards twice Put a finger to the glass Check the back door for mice

Situation speaks in your own hearts agree Tiger Belly Coca-Cola Chings umbrings I'm sorry, she distracted me. Why did you do that? Who's on a floor?

They called it a flow? Yeah, yeah, and you're disrupted the flow. I'm sorry, I got the flow. Speaking of which, that's why I be on the porcelain. Because sometimes there is a disruption of flow if you're pissing hard. Interesting. Did you know that when you have a boner?

Girls? Also, yes, I say girls for females. I say guys and girls. You mean women? Yes, women too. Guys and girls. We need to fucking, you can't say anything anymore. You can't say anything.

I understand you. I'm doing a comedy show. There's white people. There's Puerto Rican people. There's Chinese people. There's Korean people. But that's it. That's true.

That's true. Like that's all your... Come on. Oh my God. I forgot you were here again. I'm so sorry. What were you saying? When you say that's it, like that's your limit?

Like, that's all you'll allow. I'll allow anything. That's just who's attracted to my comment. Can we talk about this? Just real quick, right? The last time you were here. We're here, right, we had called Rose about being a paid regular. Oh, yeah.

Do you remember? The last time you were here, we called her and I go, remember a cat was here? Yes. We're not? And we go, what do you think a cat become a pay? She's like, she's on it or way. I think that's what Rose said. I've been saying it the same.

Yeah. And then I said, I said Rick Glass, but she goes, right? Or whatever. I don't know what she said. I don't really remember. Yeah, I don't remember either. It was devastating, though. That's what I do remember.

No, she, she's like, I have to see you and I'm like, you've seen me. Yeah, it was that. I'll tell you something. But she was more sure of Kat and it's interesting. You got it. But it makes sense. You got it. You got them first before Kat.

But I did something since then that I think kind of changed things. You turned to do a Phoenix. What did you do? What is it that you did? I started being honest. You know, I started not feeling like I needed to tell everybody my truth. But if it wasn't rooted in it, it's not sustainable.

You know, you could take a green onion, chop it up, have just a little things, put it in water, and it'll grow again. But at a certain point, a plant needs soil. That's true. And to me, my roots in a glass cup, I don't know, man. That doesn't feel like a foundation

that I want to start my 30s in. Yeah, totally. Right. It's a glass cup of metaphor. All right, I don't know why I'm laughing. Well, they call me the glassman for two reasons. One, you know. And two, it's not about the cup being half full or half-bredable, is that why?

What? You're breakable, is that why? Hey man, I'm human. Or we could see through you? What is it? I don't get ashamed of my flaws because without them, I'd be me in five years. Look at that. Amazing.

You'd be you in five years? What does that mean? Flawless. No, but not really. You always changed the, like Matthew McConae. And then five more years. I want to be 100 years old. years old and still learning. You in the main room. That's a great picture. That's so great. Look at it there.

I'm so proud of you, dude. I'm smiling. I really am. Can we talk real now? Because I don't want to do these, you know, these tangents that you've been going on. We're going to be real. Because I feel like we're not talking about anything real. You know what I mean? We're talking about all of its lies. Okay. Okay. So let's talk about something real at this point. Okay. What I'm saying is that the last time you were here, you know what I mean,

you didn't seem like you were going to get in. And then you got in and I was so happy. Thank you for. for being a champion. I've always been a champion of you. I think you've been the champion of me there. Yeah, I really have. And I, you know, because I think that you are dynamic.

I told you. Yeah. What? Yeah. I told you. Yeah, yeah. And I think that you are one of a kind. Yeah.

Are you trying to flex on me? Sorry, keep going. You know what? He's given me looks. Rick, I get it. What I'm saying are you saying? I'm getting what you were saying to him earlier. Yeah.

He's giving me looks. He's giving me stink eyes. Yeah. I'm. playing a character. I'm playing a character in this moment. I'm a character in this moment as well. I'm being serious, but like the me, I told you, it's me being, I'm playing a character

as if like, I've been trying to tell you how funny I am because I've wanted you to see me that way and here's somebody saying it. I'm like, see, this is, I'm just playing a little bit of a character with you. And I'm playing. I think you're a con. No, you're not. You're playing against me. Yeah, that's what's funny.

It's conflict. Conflict is what's true. Conflict is the number one thing to avoid by default in any improv scene, dude. Ask anyone. Yeah. Yeah. It's not agreeing. Just because you don't have to agree.

Yes, Ann, doesn't always mean I'm agreeing with you. No, but it wouldn't be bad if it happened sometime. I'm in your world and I'm playing into your... You know what, Luke? Maybe you guys continue that moment. That was really nice. What moment? You were saying that he was dynamic and...

He's his hero's champion. Well deserving. Yeah, it was to me a real victory. I never said this to you before. And I wish that you had said it. Bobby That was a good one That was a good one

Yeah, that was a good one My joke? Yeah, yeah man, your joke, man Can we Sorry, bud They may be leftovers, but I know how to turn him into something Have you seen that Asian dad who makes he The son brings, no stop, I mean you know what I'm talking about already?

His son brings food and he turns it into gourmet, he's a gourmet chef We're trying to be real. Iron Chef Dad I don't even want to know about it. Yeah, I didn't even listen to anything you just said. Oh. Yeah, I don't even want to know about it. Then what?

Then know about what? Yeah. That's a movie. Know about what? You're thinking what about Bob? No, you and I could be to know about what. All right. Well, thank you very much.

Could be here. So, um... Has your life changed since you've been past? You know, I don't... I don't know. I don't, um... I don't think that that being passed has had that much of an effect on my day.

I've done three more shows. Okay. You know, hold on. Go ahead. Let me, may I? Say what you're going to say? It's a little different than other places. It's a lot different.

I'm so happy. I don't mean I'm not, I'm not so happy. It's a very difficult milestone. I've always wanted to be on the spot. It's very difficult. I'm very excited. And you got in.

It's been a big thing for you. You had all the merch that was like not passed at the comedy store. Listen, man, daddy's got to make a buck. But you, are you daddy now? A 30-year-old daddy? I'm helping pay my parents.

It seems like a goal you've had for a long time, though. How long do you think, how long is the money you want to do that? Look at that. Jay Leno, Mark Merrin, Whitney Cummings, Rick Glassman. Do you know Chris C.P. Powell?

He is. a killer. I would love to say something about him. I didn't know him. I met him when he went on before me at the show. Yeah. And I'm in the, because I watched Mark Merrin and then him, which by the way, also, Mark, they were so, he's, he's so funny. He was everyone, like, they were both so funny. I'm like, I'm in the back laughing out loud. Yeah. I really want to, we became friends online. I want him to come on my podcast. He, I don't know if, if people know him and I just didn't for whatever reason, but I want to, he's powerful. Chris, he is probably the best. He's all. He's. He's all. He's. He's all. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's. He's Oh, funny. In fact, I called Rose. I don't want to follow him. Nobody does. I love following him. He's a killer.

Have you seen the show Detroiters? Of course. He's in it. He's the security guard in Detroiters. He is there. He is so great in that show. Is that him? That's so funny.

Yeah, he's great. I didn't know that. You're doing silly, right? Because I really didn't realize. Oh, I was being silly. Yeah. Oh, you see the Detroiters? It's Sam Richardson.

Okay. I didn't know. And the biggest comedian in the world right now. I thought you were doing a thing and then I read it wrong. I think he were right. I think I was right about the joke. Yeah, I think it was better. Yeah.

Okay, well, it's Tim Robinson and Sam Richardson, and they run a marketing firm in Detroit, and it's a very funny show. Okay, anyway, Chris C.P. Powell is a powerful comedian. How did the spot go, your first spot in the main room as a paid regular? Look at that. I think good. Oh, if that was the night, then, yeah, that was a really good show.

I remember that one. Dude, I mean, do you think about where you're at in that situation or no? Yeah. I mean, you're sitting next to Jade Leno and Mark Marin and you're like there in the green room. Anyway, what a great photo. How long have you wanted to be a paid regular in the comedy? Oh, my God. Dude, he's been hanging out there since he was like 30.

Yeah. No. For 30s. Like for a long time. When he was like... It must be a big moment. I was there when Nate's day. Like 15 years ago when he was 30, I was like,

Oh my God. This guy is like really. He was doing the open mics and stuff. It was cool. I used to answer the phones there. I would always answer the same way. It was so, thank you for calling the Comedy Store.

My name is Rick. How may I help you? Were you a door guy? Only phones. Only phones. They, at the time, I thought I wasn't funny enough

to do the doors. Have you always been a little bit kooky with your comedy? That's a racial slur Oh no no No no no, no, no, I heard a G Oh like a baby wants a sweet treat with chocolate chips Exactly, cookie

Who was that? Is that Rugrats? Yes, Angelica And Tommy Are you still high? Hey man, not bye Yeah, I know you're not on. But I don't know, man I don't know, man

I don't I really don't know if it's because I would be like I feel like like the systemic shame because like who cares it's a dick yeah yeah I have no idea what you're saying but um oh with that being bisexual

yeah well not necessarily not necessarily maybe just maybe gay well to me it's like when I did Shannon Sharps' podcast humble brag we know you did Shannon Sharpe's podcast and I brought up that I said

talking about it you see it and I said it talked about I said it talked about um I still talk penises in high school. And he goes, you gay. You know what I mean? And there was no openness to that. It sounded like a vampire

Shannon Sharp. You gay. Because I don't know. I don't want to make fun of them. There's a fine line. Oh, maybe because of, as we referenced earlier with twins and my influence on Stack and Smoke, maybe it's

because of that. Maybe. But it's like I don't want to go, yo man, you're gay. You know what I mean? And just really go hard on it. You know? You're right. So I go more vampire. I go more vampire on it. You didn't do that.

Yeah, I didn't do that, right? It's Eddie Murphy and Vampire in Brooklyn. Yeah, that's what I'm doing. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, so, you know, there was no openness there about it. And just because I sucked a couple of penises in high school. Fuck it, man. Yeah, fuck it, yeah.

When you were working the phones at the comedy store, did it feel so far away the thought of being passed? Like, where did you think you would be? No, I always thought I'll be passed in a year or two. When you were 30? Whenever I first started coming around. you were young when you came around yeah I was really I had to get permission to go out that's not sure

you're in your 20s okay yeah you're definitely in your 20s yeah there was no situation like that whatever you say Bobby or should I say go ahead do you ever remember like seeing a comic that really inspired you

that you're like oh I want to be like that guy or girl woman yeah besides me a woman it's mostly women that inspired me first obviously the strongest one I've ever met, my mother. Does she do stand-up? She's, I don't know if I've ever, I think, my whole life,

who's given me the most laughs, it'd be my mom. Yeah. But my mom isn't, my mom's a little kooky like me. Yeah. And she makes people like, just being sweet and, like, talking, and, like, having conversations with people and just saying stuff that's like, oh, you know.

And it's like, yeah, she's honest. That's fun. I can see the humor. And then probably Will Smith second. Okay. I've said it on this podcast before, but Will Smith was the first time I saw that you could be goofy and cool. Like being goofy doesn't mean you have to be a fool and it's funny to play it anyway. And he could do it all, man.

You could do it all. You could sing, dance, all of it. And he didn't inspire me necessarily, but around the same time of me recognizing who I'm liking what people are able to do with their skill. Yeah. Big, big shout out to Shia LaBuff since even Stevens. Oh, wow. I loved him from then

and everything he's done after. I love Shia. I think he's unbelievable. That's right. That's awesome. Yeah, he did bad friends. I never watched the episode. I should check it out.

Yeah, it was him in Mamet. And Santino. And also David Mamet. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Which was crazy to have him on. David Mamet's a playwright. Right.

He's a playwright. He did Glenn Larry, Glenn Ross. Right. Did you know? The movie, have you seen the movie? It's one of the best movies. I prefer the play. Okay, it's one of the best movies, though.

Have you seen it? Glenn Garrier, it's so good. Al Gloucers. Coffees for closers. Yes. I'm acting like you've been here. I handed him a note that says coffees for closures. Alck Baldwin.

Yeah, really good movie. Yeah. It's raining. Yeah. He's never seen the Godfather. Isn't that incredible? You've never seen The Godfather? Yeah.

Dang. That reminds me of my first joke, my first time on stage, I did literally my first set in Cleveland. One of my jokes was, here's my impression of what people say when I tell them I've never had an Oreo before. And I would just, like, I would get into character and I turn about it. I'd be like, you've never had an Oreo before? It was exactly the way you just did the Godfather thing. Oh, yeah, that's right. Wow.

Did that work? No. Yeah. Didn't seem to work here. No. I wasn't saying, I wasn't saying like, let me make you laugh. It didn't really seem to work. No, but it's still funny.

Like, I do think that joke, looking back at that joke, which it was the first time I did stand up, the logic of it of doing something sincerely and that's funny, I do see how I was inspired for that kind of stuff, like to play things very sincerely thinking that's funny. Like, not for better or worse, but I'm just saying, thinking back some of my old jokes that weren't funny, I'm like, oh, I do recognize what attracted to me to try. that type of thing. Does that make sense?

Yeah. So I feel like if you watch people's first jokes, instead of just looking like, how funny are they? But like how does their mind work? What are they attracted to? It's consistent. I also think it's a good way of getting to know somebody. Like we don't change that much.

We get new tools. But yeah. So anyway. I think when I see myself earlier on, right, there's some, you bored? What? Just say yes or no. No.

Don't be so shocked by being, You're here, man. No. I'm not bored. That's okay. There's to say that. You drifted. I'm not bored.

Yeah, you started looking off in the distance. I was thinking, okay. What were you thinking about? That's crazy. I was thinking about, I'm the fucking, no, but I'm the captain of the ship. But she's talking. Bobby. Yeah, get off the fucking ship then.

Bobby, go ahead. I was thinking about Rick and Isaac Exchange and I was thinking about how that's going to play. And, you know, I was thinking, could I have handled that better and should I, should I have said something? So that's human and I love that. That's great. When Bobby says, hey, are you bored, you could instead of saying, what? You could take a second to think about the question

and I was kind of drifting off, this is what I was thinking about, and now here we are, we're present again. Okay, I'm learning, I'm not, you know, I haven't been- Shut up! Joking, I'm joking, joking, I'm joking. Sorry I'm not 56 years old, like everyone else in this room, okay?

I'm so learning. Whoa! What the hell? Oh, she just looks 56. I wasn't thinking about Cat. I was trying to make an attack about how he says he's 30 and I wanted to... Oh, I thought you were rating your past 50 jokes

on a scale from 1 to 10. 56? I wasn't trying to come after Kat. They're all sixes, dude. I was going to attack on you, I believe. Yeah, but... I'll get you later. Sometimes I do stuff on, like, and it's fine. You'll leave it in.

But, like, I feel myself watching it and editing. I'm just like, annoying, annoying, annoying, annoying. But like this is what this medium is and we just you just put stuff out exactly It'll cut together very well I'm not worried about it but I'm aware of that yeah and I'm like I'm like man I've done I've done 500 podcasts and I'm still all the time I'm like well no you can I be Honestly guests thank you man yeah it's tough I'll tell you why I have to constantly be thinking Yeah you know yeah there if it stops you're going this way and it's like I have to follow and then sometimes I have no idea what's going on.

You know, and it's a very difficult thing. Amen. And I'm learning from it. Like, my mind is expanding because of it. Well, I think you're very honest. Yeah. I do think you're very honest. You have moments of vulnerability that are really lovely.

Yeah. Do you remember your first joke? Can I go into what I was saying earlier? Because it was crazy. I'm like, we can't talk about what I was going to say earlier. Why'd you segue into that? I was like, when I look at myself in old, I wasn't done with my point.

Okay, when I look at my, you're a microphone showing. I don't know if you care about it. I don't want to get comments. Yeah, okay. Sorry, Bobby. It's not, that's not even the true thing what he was saying. It was, yeah, yeah, yeah. Don't try attention to it.

It's, there's creeps, go ahead. Yeah, anyway, um. I'll cover up next time. What I forget what I was saying. Forget what I was about to say Because it's like it's not gonna No one's gonna it's too late My loss

Yeah it's everyone's loss Yeah our loss Yeah Anyway when I see look at look at myself At old tapes right And you know When I first like there was this one Where I did in La Jolla

When I live there And Scott Shore Polly Shore's older brother Was doing a documentary And he would You know He just did film on five young comics And was luckily

An up okay I was lucky enough to be chosen and I had only been doing comedy for like a year and I and so I did it was on film that's cool right

and it was like and I was so bad when you first see it I'm bad but then when you see it like three or four times you go you know what it's the big I could see the seeds of Bobby Lee

in there did a lot of people watch it three or four times No I think you've shown me older tapes of you And it's still consistent with who you are now Your hair was so different Why did you stop doing that? Where you spiked your hair up crazy?

Because it was a hook I thought you needed a hook back then Hair? Yeah Yeah It was a big movie with Dustin Hoff and Robin Williams No I want to be Rufio

Is that what you thought really? No that's not what I was thinking No back then it's like Chris Tucker was a thing Okay He was blowing up. I mean, dude. He is so funny.

I know, naturally funny. Everything he does, his energy, everything. Yeah. So I was trying to like, do a high-pitched voice like him, and it was not working. And then when like, and then I just kind of became more myself in a lower tone and then just kind of pace myself a little slower. And then try to, you know, be more real at times. And did you ever stand still and just do your act? No, I was never like that.

Always running around. Always running around. Yeah. They would say it ain't funny if it doesn't look like your feet are on fire. But you do that. Who said that? Don Rickles. Oh.

Do you do that as well? Run around the stage a little bit? I mean, if there's a stage, I'll use it. Yeah. Nice. But, uh, run around. Maybe. Yeah.

Maybe. Really good. Jog? Good stuff. Yeah. Being on that stage, a real stage, you know, a big stage, a stage that you could use. Just you and that microphone. And he's singing at the ballet room. You're up there all alone, man.

It's not like anything else. Do a spotlight thing, like the lights are off spotlight on me. Maybe snaps. I was doing my thing. play in my games until I find the situation speaking of the things embarrassing and all I ever feel is a drive

home in shame. I think that I can do this but then I get scared from bruises. I trip by fall I bang my newses because she distracted me again. No, why? Why? Why? She laughed.

I was really good. I'm sorry. Why did you laugh at I'm sorry, the news is. Yeah, those news is good. Anyway, Rick, you want to promote anything? Hey, man, if you like me, you can find me. And if you don't, what's the point of selling you on. Ricky's on the Luz Tour? That's good.

You're going to be in Scotland? I'm doing the Edinburgh Film Festival. Then I'm headed on over to Amsterdam. Then Ireland. Ireland just sold out. Maybe I'm adding another show, I don't know. Yeah. Doing five shows in England, London Town.

Wow, Soho Theater. That's cool. That's amazing, dude. Congratulations. Are you going to helium in Portland? Am I doing what? Helium in Portland. Oh, yeah. A great club. Look at that. Port Philadelphia. Oh, thanks for showing. Houston, Portland, Eugene, Oregon, Tacoma, Washington, Salt Lake City. Rick Glassman.com. And if you want, I'm adding states.

You can sign it from email list at Rick Glassman.com. And I open email you if I'm coming within 50 miles of your city. I'm not going to be sending you tons of emails of my balls in my butt. But once a year, send you pictures of my butt. Hey. Hey. And on that male English. Give Rick Glass for a round of applause.

I just want to say Rick, I think, might be tie for the most appearances on the podcast. Oh. Tie with who. Kalila? Theo Vaughn. Oh, dang. Yeah. That's awesome.

We should have the audience vote. Who they want to have on more. Me or not me? You guys, all jokes aside are the camera still rolling? I just want to say the fact that I have been here. or maybe just as the most tied with the most than anybody else just shows that despite the kind of like back and forth jousting that you and I do,

we are friends and you really have been a champion of mine at the Comedy Store. You're the only person that I know when you went and talked to different people when they were booking. And you were the first guest that came on my podcast or one of the first that really started to bring attention to it. You helped me out on my podcast.

And I normally don't do this, but if you want, I'll take, I'll take his spot. I'll start coming here. That's good one. Good one. Good one. Go on it. No, but all jokes aside, thank you for having me. Epath.org.

And one love. Look how fat I was there. I think you were fat. You were just close to the camera. No, I was pretty fat. And music. Hey, I'm Andrew Santino. Bobby Lee. And we made something completely

insane. We took celebrities. We put them in my mom's basement. We throw trivia at them. We hit them with absurd challenges. And then, just when they think they know what's happening, we blow to ho-ting a pot. Nobody knows the rules. We barely know the rules. It's chaos. It's comedy. It's The Bad Game Show. New episodes drop every Wednesday.

Watch on the Bad Friends' YouTube channel. Or on the Bad Game Show feed on Spotify video. Follow, subscribe, watch. Share. Play along. Have fun. Thank you.