TigerBelly - Rob Riggle & the Courage Walk

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

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Hey, how you doing? Jaime Garcia. Hi, my Garcia. Jamie. Don't give him two names. It is one. What's your name? What?

Just first name's okay. Oh, okay. I can't talk to you. Dude, don't talk about. So is it Jimmy? I can't talk to. You're going to go with Jimmy? Yeah, you can go, Jimmy.

Yeah, you can go Jimmy. that I want on the thing. We're recording. Oh, we are? Yeah. Oh, snap, did it walk, right when I walked in? Yeah. She's sneaky my high fire.

Yeah, very sneaky. I've never. I've never. I've never. Gotcha. Gotcha. Are you white? Yeah, yeah.

Are you white? Dang. That I was about to say. I recognize my own. He's not of an employee here. It's just an extra. For the rest of the show, I just look at you. Wow.

Rob, let me pick like a little tinkle and I'll be right back. Yeah, it fit me. Try it on. A lot of jokes there. I'm letting go. I did.

You did? Yeah, I was like, comfy. He's saying my sweatshirt fit him. Big fan of you, man.

Oh, yeah. Wait until Bobby left to shake his head. Well, because Bobby Shack can't talk to him. So how? I like this place. It's a little chaotic and a lot for the brain.

It's busy in a good way. I like it. Thank you. A lot of pictures of naked, Bobby. Yeah. Kim's a comic. Lots of that. Yeah.

We actually took down a couple of the naked body. We had some more. We had a lot. It was very distracting for guests. We had his father's ashes somewhere. Yeah. Yeah. Is it the bottom half, top half?

I think Bobby had. Bottom half. He wants to control. He doesn't want to be haunted by the top half. Oh, the top half, yeah. Okay. Where is it's all normal stuff? Yeah, of course, yeah.

Where are his dad's ashes? He probably lost it. Yeah, he lost it. Where are your dad's ashes? Where did your papa's ashes go? Oh, I love that board. You have autism? What's going on?

That's good. Oh, that's the board. Projection much? Yeah, yeah. Oh, man. Oh, listen to that. Mm. Mm.

Mm. Rico. Rigo. Ringo. He's been in movies. Hangover. Step brother. 21 jump straight.

21 jump straight. Cop out. What? I can say that one. What? It's Jaime. That was Jaime. Oh, let's be cops.

Wait, you did cop, let's be cops. Let's be cops. Cop out. Cop out, I think, was that like Bert Reynolds or something? Cops, reality show. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Bad boy. Hi man, don't make up credits. Let's be cops. I know, but you said cop out during the song. Cop out. That was the one with the little kid and like Bert Reynolds, wasn't it? I don't know, dude.

I'm not that old. I'm only 54. You're 55. It was unwatchable. It was? I believe. Yeah, yeah. No offense to.

cop out. Yeah. Oh, no. That was a different one. Okay. Yeah. Bruce Willis. Yeah.

That's Bruce Willis. Hi, man. Yeah. Anyway, um, guys, give Rob a round of applause. Yeah. Yeah. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. I've never done that. We've never done A. It's Rob Wrigal, though. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Let's do it again. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Okay. That's good.

That's good. Um, Rob. God, what a handsome man. I love it. You love being handsome? I want to be, I should be treated everywhere I go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just song and dance.

Do you think you're handsome? No. Yeah. I got a lopsided head. I think I came out of my mom in a rush. Yeah. Or the doctor pulled too hard because my face slid. Oh.

So like one side's higher than the other. It haunts me. Yeah, yeah. Can I see your profile, please? Whoa, you could be a president. He could be a president. What about this side? Yeah.

Oh, no. One of, yeah, it's Dr. Michael. Mr. Hyde. There it is. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's split, but it's like two feet. You're Harvey good. Harvey did. I see some people that have like that perfect symmetry. Oh. You know, the perfect. Yeah, Glenn Powell.

Yeah. What about me? Most of your beautiful people have perfect symmetry. I ain't got it. What about me? You got good symmetry. Yeah, I would say you're pretty smart. Yeah, you got good symmetry. But could I be a president? Yes. Yeah.

Wait, well, not from this country. Obviously. I'm your president. Yeah, that's Kim Jong-un. Yeah. Anyway, well, you look like a senator, actually. All right. Can you see him as a senator?

Have you played a senator? I played a representative once, so close. Congress. Congress, yeah, yeah, yeah. You look good in a suit, too. Yeah, well, thanks. You don't think you do? I don't wear my know.

Do you look good? Do you think you look good? these are great questions I did not see these coming I did not see these coming I did my preparation no it's last night so Rob how to go

I fucked it up man he was hitting me with a suit question I didn't prep for it yeah yeah yeah your eyes you know what can I just say something about laid on me hit me I'll hit you

don't take offense I love it all right because I'm fond of you yeah all right so when I create a character on like if I'm in an open world game

I always make them look with like Rob I make the eyes a little closer together I don't know why I do that but like that thing that says you know what I mean push it in I always push it because you have pushed in yeah I'm obsessed with push in he likes he likes he likes specifically half Asian girls that are a little cross-eyed that's so specific

I mean that is specifically I mean that is I enjoy it. Yeah, I enjoy it. I took a human sexuality class in college. Teach me. No big deal. I don't want to brag. Yeah.

But the only thing I took away from college, basically, was every human being has a, what's called an attraction template. And it's all different for all of us. And in your attraction template, you like certain things. You don't even realize it until you really do some self-analysis and understand, like, whether it's blonde hair, blue eyes, or. you know, Asian or African-American, whatever it is. Yeah.

But you, and face structure and, you know, whether it's a long face or a rounder face. I know what mine are. And so you, it sounds like, have an incredibly specific. I'm very specific. Yeah. So, but at least you know what your attraction template is. And the thing is, whatever you is the most attractive, that's the bullseye of this template.

Oh, shit. And then you can go out from there. Wait, how does it, how is it formed? Like, what influences it? Is it like things you watch? I know mine are. I think it's your first exposure to probably like television, your mother. Yeah.

That probably has an influence on it or your father has an influence on it because that's who you first start to interact with. Yeah. And then you move on to television stuff. And then you, it's one of those weird things where you just gravitate towards something. You don't know what it is. Well, that's interesting because his mom is a little cross-eyed. What's up? What's up, Freud?

What's up? So when he met me, a little cross-eyed, he was like, ding, ding, ding. He was like, what's up, girl? Yeah, yeah, see? Oh, yeah. She's got googly eyes. Not googly, but yeah. All right, so here's my thing.

Can I just say something? Because I put the mic away because I didn't want to talk over to you guys because I got so excited about it, you know? So I may I talk? Yeah. Okay, thank you. Hi. Hi.

Yeah, come on the table I will take my time Yeah, yeah There's two things I think Okay, number one All right, you're right My mom has the cross eyes Right

And so that's it But here's another thing My To me as a kid My parents had round faces And then I would look in the mirror I go oh my god My face is a round

I don't like round I mean I like this style You like more Yeah Well, because I'm a big fan of Abraham Lincoln. All right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My favorite president.

Like a lot of Scandinavians have angular faces. Yeah. Like the high cheekbones and the tiny chins and the. So I wanted to go opposite of my facial structure. Cross-eyed. Yeah, yeah. Like if Rob was a woman, I'd be like, oh, my God, he's hot. He's hot.

Look at me now. Am I hot? Yeah. I just got half hard, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about the no titties thing? Where does that come from? No, we mean the no titty.

I need breasts. No, you like kiwi, you said. You get very blessed. No, they still have to be protruding out. What are you talking about? I don't want a flat chest. I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah.

I thought you wanted just nipples. The person I'm seeing now... What, like a teenage boy? No, no. Oh, teenage boy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. You know, I like it protruding out, right?

I just don't like... Big breasts. Okay. Like, luxurious. I mean, I've had them. Yeah.

Uh-l-la, me like it. Hey. You know what I mean? You know, it's like. But it's not real. What do you mean? They have booblobs. They put plastic in there, so.

No, there's some women who are just chesty. No, I'm saying, okay, there's two times. Jaime, very good. Let's encourage Jaime because I feel like he's drowning a little bit. He's very nervous around Robbri. He's very nervous right now, so I know he's trying to throw you in your thing. And so we want to encourage you. Yeah.

So explain, please. About what? Like booms? That is the topic. Yeah, yeah, that is the topic. Because he likes kiwi nipples, right? No, the whole breast is the kiwi. Not the nipple size.

Not a kiwi nipple. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's too small. So you want like perfect tits. We're trying to explain to you what you were talking about. I'm not opposed to that. Yeah. So you like perfect?

Perfect is subjective. Like, what's perfect to you? It's not perfect for Bobby. Plastic. You're saying plastic versus real. Well, not plastic. It's whatever they put in those boob lifts. But sometimes people are born

with big breasts. Genetically. Genetically. I don't run into those people. Really? You haven't seen a real pair of naturals. No. Wow.

The last two were fake. Whoa. Okay. Well, sorry. Because she'll, like, stay stiff and shit. What do I mean? Like, she was jumping around. She would do like a 50s.

dance What's going on with the shoulder? What do you mean? She was doing the grasshopper? Where were you? This is the weirdest strip club in town. It's like from the 50. You also get a milkshake.

That has a whole other meaning. With the human sexuality thing, does that also apply with like women's taste in men? Yes, women have attraction templates as well. Are you really? Sure, because my attraction template is, like, confused. Okay, so Kalila and I dated, lived together for 10 years, dating. Okay.

Right. Okay, so we start here, like, cute Korean hand. I'm 5'3. And what are the other types I've dated about you? You've dated, oh, my God. So the one that you're dating now, can I explain? Yeah, you can explain. He's 6'4.

No, he's not. He's a little shorter than that. 6-2? Yeah. Right? How much does he weigh, though? 250. 250.

So he's a linebacker. He's huge. I'll give you his comp. That's his comp. Okay. Right. Wow. So she went from, you know what I mean?

Minion. Yeah. You know what I mean? To grow. A yellow little minion, right? To Jason Momoa. But, but I will say that, like. Look at the difference.

Sexually, like, I don't. This is Clilo's chart. That's her attraction template. That's her attraction template. Okay, that's you, you run the spectrum. You run the spectrum. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she's also dated, can I explain?

Yeah. Rugby players, right, from Australia. Footy, yeah. What? Yeah, the athlete. Athletic, Spanish professional soccer player. I have also dated a really short fat cholo. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Who was, like, my biggest, like, love. You're confused. You're all over the spectrum here. But some women. But there's not really. wrong with that? Some women look at the attraction template with the personality traits. That's big for me. That's a big for me. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, but I think everybody in this room, like, if you stopped and went, okay, there is a certain type that you

gravitate towards, or that you always, if you see them, you're going to do a double take. Oh, yeah. You know, and when you, even if, even if, I don't know what it is, but you, you, you may see something, you're like, oh, yeah, that's, I want to look at her or I want to look at him. a little longer. That probably is a good indicator of who is in what your attraction to me. Do you ever find where like you want to look at someone

because they're obviously very, very attractive, but you like standardly attractive but you don't feel like sexually attracted to them? Or is that just a woman thing? I think it's a woman thing. That's definitely a woman. Whereas I can look at someone

and be like, wow, of course, like they're objectively attractive. I can objectively look at someone and say that person is beautiful. And I can do that about guys. I can look at a guy and say, that guy's handsome. I get why people react to these people. Do you feel?

But yeah, if it's a beautiful woman, it's very rare that I go, oh, isn't she just beautiful? And then go about my grocery shop. Ooh, butter's on sale. Yeah, oh, look, two for one. No, there's usually another thought attached to it. Okay, okay.

Yeah. Can I just say something else for a quick? I just realized, I like the, okay, so I like the cross-eye thing, right? Yeah. But I also like the fish thing. What's the fish thing? Like the, like, if the, the Michael Shannon. Yes, he does.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If the eyes are at the temples, right? Brandy, brandy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, so you like them apart, but you said you liked them in. Yeah, I just don't like them when they're normal, the normal spacing. You know what I mean? So you want some sort of variation.

A variation of the eyes. Okay. For some reason. Eyes? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Eyes are a big deal for you. Yeah. Well, noses too.

Noses too. Yeah, yeah. What kind of noses do I like? Well, mine is pretty romantic. That's crazy about me. Yeah, that I could do too. He's doing a double take. That's part of his attraction spectrum.

Double take right there. Yeah. That's a double take. Yeah. For you, that's a double. I have another thing. Okay. Can I just tell you about my templates?

Yeah. You mean? Go ahead. So the nose is I like your type of nose. Yeah, I'm Filipino. But this is not a Filipino nose. I know, but I don't like buttons. Come on.

man what you have a good nose my girlfriend is same nose yeah alright so I like you know Abraham Lincoln E okay yeah yeah and then also can I just say this because I'm gonna since we're in this topic am I too spazzy right now a little bit yeah I know because I just woke up

and I downed a Red Bull I can tell you you go Rob's here and I just down the wall and I ran down the stairs and then I try to sit there and talk to him like what are you doing I've never seen you sit so proper in the greenery before yeah yeah yeah Because I'm not fully awake at and I'm overcomposed that.

I'm going to have drinks more. I'm going to have drinks more. We were in the green room and he was so polite and so nice, but also so formal. I was like, I'm doing the show not interviewing. Like for job interviews. I've never seen him do that before. I've never done that before.

You're a gentleman. Okay, so I'll go ahead. Oh, God, don't do more. Kings Draft Kings When you want to have fun And fun Got big game show dreams?

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Use code Tiger Belly at Monarch.com in your browser for half off your first year. That's 50% off your first year at Monarch.com with code Tiger Belly. So check it out. Another is height with me. This I know, yeah. Yeah, because my parents were so short, I dreaded it. Because when you're a kid and you see your brother, your parents,

and you know, even as a kid, you kind of know how genetics work, right? So I knew, oh. You know, I came from them. I'm probably going to turn out. Yeah. So I know, I'm going to be 5'3. Yeah.

You know what I mean? It's pretty much, that's the, because my parents were below 5.3. Yeah. So me, it's like, if I can reach 5354, it's a miracle. Just before you started puberty, did you used to pray for height?

Yes. Yeah. How old tall is your dad? I used to pray for pubic hair. Whoa. You? That hair? No, no, I was the late bloomer.

I was the last guy in my class to go through puberty. So all my friends were like, what's up? Big bones, structures. I mean, they were turning into men, and I was still a prepubescent boy. Yeah. Forever.

And I was just, oh, serious, I was like, let me go through puberty. And then it finally happened, and it came crashing in once. 15. Wow, that's pretty late. Late. Yeah. So you know the good thing was, I learned because I was very curious

about all this and I was like, why? Why is this happening? Why am I the last kid in this entire effing school to go through puberty last? And what I found was it meant that I was in a safe home. Did you ever go through a growth spurt where you're like... Can I say what I'm going to say?

Yeah, sorry, sorry. I'm so hyperactive right now. Just waiting to talk. Yeah, yeah. But I don't want to be rude because we have a guest and a very important guest. So can I,

in these times of openings, right? I need the opening. Yeah. Okay, so thank you. I'd like to take my time. All right. So I'm like to be rushed. What's going on today?

Do you're... I feel like your brain's going... I know. What is going on? I have so many thoughts. Yeah. Me too. No rush.

Okay. You want to do yours? Go ahead, Bobby. No, hi-bye, do yours, Bobby. Okay, thank you. You know, I'm the, this is my, you know, I'm the host. Yeah, no. Yeah, yeah, okay.

But I can agree with him. I can relate to him. Okay, can think, do your relation first then. Well, they grew up in a safe home, too, so I didn't hit pervert until like 17. 17. 17? You didn't get pubes still 17? Yeah.

Oh, that's super late. Because you now have the crown. Because that is super late. And the first hairs were in your face, right? No. The mustache. Yeah, you got a mustache. Yeah, you got a mustache rocking and everything.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. what's wrong that's awesome but that's late in the game so you had a very safe home that's good okay my turn my turn that's off to your phone

lay down lay down Bobby come on everybody's been cutting you off yeah yeah yeah so you know the joke I have right but you saw the joke right so on my special

I have a joke that I hadn't reached puberty I didn't reach puberty I didn't reach puberty until I was 15 years old but my dad saw me naked at 14 so for a whole year he told any strange that I hadn't reached puberty yet so we'd be at the grocery store

my dad was my son Bobby no hair it's true my dad would say it you know what I mean the mailman hi Mr. Lee Bobby no hair I don't know he just would do it he would tell any stranger but I'm not going to give you the punchline

because it's going to be my special but when I see the punchline and the special it's fine don't give it away don't give it away because I want to see this special yeah yeah I'll give it away you're not going to see it but anyway I will but here's a thing

I grew up in a hostile home so why is my puberty late I don't think it has anything to do with hostility just that you're like Asian like the hair growth is just unless you're Filipino because Filipinos like they're born with mustaches

could I tell you why what I know that because I was in the wrestling team in high school Powi High but our rivals Panasquitas Mount was at the time 40% Filipino. Yeah. So the whole wrestling team, and I remember

dreading, playing Mom Carmel, is because everyone, we're kids, all had full mustache. Yeah. So I wrestled at high school. Wait, 135 and 138, depending on what I...

98, 105. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the thing was, though, I was a terrible wrestler. I didn't want to wrestle. Oh. I broke my thumb playing football. the last game of the season and so I couldn't try out for basketball but at my high school if you wanted to play football you had to do three sports

you had to do a sport every season so I was like what am I going to do for winter and they're like you're a wrestler now so I went out there and I got my butt kicked ever I got tied in pretzels these kids have been doing club wrestling you know and I remember this is no joke I went to the mat one time at a meet

and there was a from Lawrence high school this kid was just I mean he had these delts that went up to his ears and he looked like from that movie Vision Quest Oh yeah He looked like the Swede Oh yeah yeah yeah

And I was like I literally said this As we got to the mat I looked to the ref and I go I think there's been a mistake I think there's been a mistake Yeah yeah I go I'm in the 135

And I think I think I think and he goes Yeah yeah you're in the right place And the guy The guy heard me say it And was like I'm going to murder And of course he did Oh wow wow It murdered me

Yeah Whoa Oh, see, here's the thing. But that was my senior year. I had gained weight by then. Yeah. I'd gone through puberty. But I wrestle dudes probably like you.

Because at the 98-105, sure, you'll get someone small, but then you'll get the super skinny white kid. The string bean. The string bean, who's still the weight, they were their worst to wrestle against. Well, is it because they bent in every direction? They bent in a direction. So you could almost have them in a pin, but they would arch their back in the weirdest way possible. Yeah. Or you put them in like a lot.

leg lock and you're on top of them right and I remember being too high above how do you find you are so good on the internet how is this crap on the internet he's the best man what year was this? God what was this why are you on the ground well let me guess 89 uh oh 88 88 88 89 yeah because you're you're older um that is

I was on the the pyramid the human pyramid is from the high school radio station and then the television station I'm holding the video camera yeah And then the rest is just dork pictures And you say you were a senior? What's that? You're a senior?

Wow. They don't look like this no more. They look like... Okay, okay, okay. Tell me what you're... He's right. I love your insights. Tell me what they used to look like

and what they look like now. Thank you. This looks like us. You were 18, right? I assume. Uh-huh. 17? 17.

He looks like a grown man. A man. But kids nowadays, they don't look like this. Freshmen, they're like short, like five, five, three. And, uh... Look, do you think that it's because I do think... That's me doing improv.

I like it. You're in high school. I know what you're saying. You're looking good, man. Tennis team. Yeah. You're a little athlete. Yeah.

Filipino. You're a Filipino. Because I went to, like, go to the other photo. I went through a Filipino stage. Well, you just... We all, as we all do. As you all do. There's always a year you have to do it.

You ever go through a Filipino stage? Yes. Now that you mention it, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but... Do you hear... Are you familiar with that story of the Filipino Little League team

that, like, won the World Little League championships and they were all, like, 30-year-old men? They all tricked them. No, no, really? I kind of believe that. Yeah, yeah. I feel like... I feel like Filipinos are...

They stay young forever, it feels like. Yeah, yeah. They have this wonderful gene where they stay... They look young. forever but we yeah we conned the system and we won so shout out Philippines wait did they get the trophy was taken away yeah yeah eventually when they found out yeah this is the team 1992 yeah this is supposed to be like those are 30 year olds no they're like they're supposed to be between like the ages of 13 and 16

yeah yeah and these are all probably like 18 20 year olds no I think they're some of them were in well into their 20s guild I think it's credible I want to do a comedy about this exact story A version of the bad news bears But with these guys All 30 are smoking and drinking

He's a machinist And the coach approaches them You look 14 right Robbiggles Rob's the coach Of the Filipino Please please He's gonna play that guy

Please look at the man Rob, you're going to play that guy. Yeah. All right. That's fine with the guy with his hands in his pocket? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that guy's shady.

Look at him. Oh, he does other things on the side. So many other things. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's a black market pineapple dealer. He's also a private investigator. Yeah, yeah. He also is a kindergarten school teacher.

Wow. That's amazing. Yeah. The Philippines are rising. I, we've always been. Yeah. By that. Congratulations.

I think you guys are rising. We're going through a revolution Really bad time right now What the fuck are you talking about? I just feel like they're just in my mind a lot You feel like the Filipino people are ascending? Yes, that is true. Okay.

I think that there's a show There's a show, have I talked about physical 100? Yes, yes. Yeah, but physical Asia. It's on Netflix. You have to watch it rock. All right.

It's a competition show. I got to add that to the list, though. Well, what have you been seeing lately that you like? I don't know. This is the thing. It's changing so fast. Yeah.

I sit down, my girlfriend's like, you got to watch this, you got to watch this, you got to watch this, you got to, and then, you know, friends tell me, have you seen this yet?

I'm going to throw things out. I'm going to throw some things at you that people are, oh, Perifial. I just started watching Perifial. Perifial. What's that? It's actually,

it's kind of a sci-fi. Pluribus? Cool. Is that the one on Apple? Pluribus? No, I think it's on Amazon. Okay. I don't want to,

sorry if I'm wrong here. but it's called Periphyl, and I'm enjoying it. I've got to say, I'm like three episodes in. I'm like, okay, all right, you got me. All right. So, have you seen Pluribus? That's the one. Oh.

Okay. Have you seen Pluribus? No. Look up Pluribus. Wait, like E. Elbrum Proprubris or whatever. What's that thing on the dollar bill? You know what I'm talking about underneath the, around the. This one.

Is this good, Bobby? I've seen it twice, the first two episodes. It's, um. It's the best pilot in a long time. Yeah, yeah. it's the Breaking Bad people it's oh I like it already it's really good

see that's the thing is like the television's got so good yes it's gotten so good there's so many great series yeah I really I sincerely can't keep up yeah me either like I haven't seen Task I really watch Tass I never saw that I'm so I saw the Rabbit one with what's the one on Netflix that with

Jason Bateman Black Rabbit oh I heard that's amazing yeah I heard that's amazing I never saw it yeah I haven't seen it yet about movies Did you see Predator Badlands? No. Okay. I haven't seen Jack Squat.

And especially in the fall. It's a good movie, Jack Squat. Part 2 is great. Jack Squat's about a young man who hasn't gone through puberty. In the fall, I only have time, literally, for sports. What do you mean? I'm talking football, college football, professional football, October baseball, basketball, basketball, basketball,

started hockey's in full bring it's just if i sit if i have time to sit down i generally take in some sort of game and then i by the time i get to entertainment i'm so i'm so fucking old yeah i'm so fucking old that i i within 30 minutes i'm asleep yeah i'm asleep yeah and it's embarrassing a shit because then the next day i have to start over i watch the same 30 minutes every show and then i'm asleep yeah so i got to start earlier we're in our 50s now because It cuts like a knife. It cuts like a fucking butter knife, man. Yeah.

I want to get specific with the knife, but my point is this, all right? Like, see this right here? Yeah. Yeah. My left ear hurts. Just by doing it? Just by doing that?

Just by doing this. It's a circulation problem. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. It is? Yeah. Okay. Well, man, can I, can I?

I can't tell that's real or not? No, no, it is. Is it? Yeah, yeah. Like, like, different movements hurt different parts of the body. Yeah, well, I told, I was telling you in the green room.

Yeah. I was in New York last. last week, and I stepped off the curb and pulled something in my hip right here, this little hip flexor right here. And the rest of the day, I could barely get around the city. Yeah. I was limping like I'd been shot. You hear a click, and you know your day is ruined.

Yeah, I'm like, well, that's over. And then it's a matter of, and then it's pain management and how long is it going to last? Yeah. Because it's not a real injury. It's just something you pulled or tweaked. And so then you're like, I guess I'm going to live with this for three or four days? Yeah. It's fucking terrible.

I mean, so you're not there yet. Oh, my body is destroyed. I just had a baby. What are you talking? It's from top to bottom. It destroyed and Bells palsy. Yeah. It's all fucked.

Yeah. But the penis. You had the bells? Yeah. Did you have the bells? No, my mom did. And I remember, I felt so bad for her. Did it go away completely for her?

Yeah. I mean, it went away. There you go. Mine's not. I know. But it's a thing. And it sucks. So I'm sorry.

Thank you. It goes away eventually. It does. It's the weirdest disease or ailment because it hits like a thunderbolt. Yeah. And then it lingers and then like Kaiser Sose. Whoa. Kaiser Sose.

What movie is that from? Huh? Kaiser Sosei. I like the, huh? That's a good stall. That's a good stall. Come on. You got this.

The Karate Kid? Yeah. That was. Pat Marita's nickname Kaiser Suze Sense Danielson Danielson

Yes Kaiser Susan Yeah I feel Very good Yeah Yeah I wake up with back Problem rooms

Yeah Okay Can we go back To Kaiser Soze I think that was a good Deflection I'm gonna go this way It was so good though

What I loved Jaime was That's a quality Male stall tactic Huh Yeah Yes Huh

Yeah Huh? Huh? Yeah, yeah. And then that buys you because they have to repeat it and it gives you. Yeah, that's just.

What about what? Yeah. Why does, what's better? What or huh? Huh? What's dangerous though? If you have a partner. All right.

So ask me something that I don't know. Go ahead. Have you seen my purse? What? You did it a pleasant. You do it at such a like a child. What do you mean? You did it like a million.

You did a more serious question. You were so sweet. I have to be. See my purse and you went. Okay. I have to be doing something. Sorry, I have to be doing something. Yeah, you're reading a cookbook.

Okay, here we go. No, not a cookbook. This is, I'm reading the Bible. No, no, I don't want, can I choose my own improv? Okay, okay. Can I choose my own improv? Yeah, yeah, man, sun also rises. Oh, wow.

Hemingway. Wow, heavy. Oh, my God. Heavy lifting. Did you go wash those dishes like I asked? What? Oh. That's so soft served.

You gave it. You was the sweetest thing. No, because I'm trying to equate the what to the, huh. All right, let me do it. What are you reading, though? This is for who the bell tolls. Good, good choice. Okay, I got the question.

Happy anniversary. Huh? That's what it is. That's what it is. That's crazy to say to happy anniversary. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My wife is so good. That hurt my feelings.

I thought the exercise was not to hurt their feeling. No, it's a stall for time. I know, but that time that you stalled for? You fucked it up. When I went aggressive, huh, right? By doing that. Argument. Now she's on her heels going, what the fuck?

What was the anniversary question? Just happy anniversary? Yeah, happy anniversary. I said happy. And then when I, then now she's on her heels. I get time to think. And I go, oh yeah, honey, happy anniversary. I was planning something special.

I don't want to get away the surprise, but I was planning something about it. You want me to tell you now? No, keep it the surprise. And then you scramble like a madman to get something planned quick. Yeah. Oh, I see. Have you done that before? Oh, please.

I know. I was seeing a girl, right? And for like six months she was dropping what she wanted. It completely forgot. I went, right? And then, so I'll just tell you it was. It was these specific books, but like

antique. Okay. You can't just go to Barnes and Noble. Right, so these are like special, special... Specialty books. Like, or are we talking like ancient books? Old books? No, they're not... Deadsees scrolls. Oh, yeah. No, but like a hundred year old book that's leather bound. Think about

a beloved series. Oh. But just a very special edition. Like an Eastern Press type books? Yeah, I don't know. Shout out to Eastern Press. Like a grit spit, never quit. I know, we're not there yet. Oh, but that was a great segue.

We're gonna, I know, it was a great segue. It's on the shot. Okay. And we're gonna talk very in detail about it. You wanna do it now? No. It's your show, man. No, no, you're like, I'll do whatever we want to do. I'll follow your lead.

Okay, well. It was a teaser. It was just a teaser. Yeah, yeah. Very good. He's just wetting the appetite. I like that a lot. I like that a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I don't even know what I was saying. The books. The books for the girl. Books for the girl six months? Oh, yeah. I still don't. She was dropping hits on anniversary. Yeah, I know what it is.

So. And so two, like three days, then I find out. And I'm like, oh my God, right? And you're just calling bookstores and like, you know, you know. Antique stores. Yeah. No, not antique stores, actually. You said antique books.

No, but she just explained Like limited edition So they could be brand new Yeah Yeah, some no It's okay, huh? I understand where you were going Yeah, yeah

It's a logical leap Yeah, I get it So yeah But anyway Yeah, I got them Oh, okay But then you're like You know, first day delivery stuff

You know what I mean You have to pay extra It's fine, you know what I mean? Yeah, but you know I finally got it to her And then one of them I go I ordered it But you know

there's some sort of delay, you know what I mean? So then, but I lied. Now she can hear it, but I don't care. But a week, so then a week later, they finally, they finally came. But anyway, yeah, I don't even know why we got into that. Have you ever said, hey, what do you want for your birthday or what do you want for Christmas or what do you want for, whatever?

And they hit you with something, it's a little too pricey. Oh, yeah. And you go, oh, that's awesome. That's cool. Anything else? Yeah. Wait, wait, wait. That's happened to you?

Yeah. Oh, please. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Oh, I mean, you just get pinched with, you get pinched with like watch requests or things and I'm like, that's, that's, that's, I'm like, God, damn. That's a body. I wouldn't even buy that for myself. Yeah.

That's Bobby to a T. If you ask him what he wants, he will tell you exactly what he wants and it's so expensive. But you've done it. I have done it, but with tears in my eyes. Yeah, yeah. I guess why not shoot for the works? I'm still paying for it and after pay. No, no, Rob, Rob, don't ask then.

don't ask because if you ask you shall receive okay all right yeah so what I'm saying is is that if you're asking me specifically what do you want I'm gonna tell you what I want I need to take a lesson I do need to take a lesson yeah yeah yeah because I got this Midwest thing where you know someone said hey you know if my girlfriend has said what do you want for your birthday whatever I go honey

I don't need anything I'm good whatever you want I trust you it's whatever you give me is gonna be great that would literally be my answer but I need to start advocating for myself and say I want a motherfucker Rolex now yeah not later yeah yeah yeah but now what you do did wrong there okay it may I teach you please lay it down so many things yeah this um pod about you know me attraction you know that's like but anyway um I know what you call but um traction template whatever um so what I want to give you a little advice okay lay it down

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So I want to give you a little advice, okay? Lay it down. It's, um, I fuck it, what was my advice? Oh, yeah. I know what it is I know what it is It's like If they ask you, right

What I want I still don't go Like because I still look at their You know what I mean Finances You know what I mean So if Jaime asked me what I want In my mind

Not that you're not You know Jaime ask him Just see what happened What do you want for Christmas Um A bag of Doritos Huh

Oh Huh? He goes I don't know Stalling Yeah Yeah Stalling

Yeah Yeah, yeah. Because, you know, I don't think that he can afford, you know what I mean, the things that she could probably afford. Understand, but if you, if you, you know what I mean, if it's like Santino, for instance. Okay. Right. Yeah. When he, he's so afraid to ask me because he knows he has to get it from it.

And I know what he can afford. Right. So it's like higher. So you got to put that in the equation. All right. So, right. So let's say I'm your, anyway. I don't want to do another scene.

But anyway. But do you understand what I'm saying? I do. Yeah, that has to be in it. You have to gauge who you're talking to. Yeah, so when you're, you know, somebody that you're seeing, a girlfriend or whatever, and you ask them, right,

what they, they're probably looking at, oh, it's a rumoredical, you know what I mean? So I can go highball. Oh, but, no, if you know me, you know, you can't go highball. What do you mean? People always think there's a lot of cheddar. There's not.

Because you have kids and you know what I mean? you have a mortgage and all these things. Yeah, there's not that much, not that much walking around. Yeah, I mean, I'm single, kind of, you know, I am single, I don't know what I am, but, um, whoa. You're in limbo. I'm in limbo, you know what I mean?

Yeah. He's confused. But I do hear what you're, I do hear what you say? Right? What you said? He's going to wrong way, right? I don't say that. Huh?

Huh? Now, now do it, huh? Huh? What? No, confused, right? Why are you looking at me? Why is asking you affirmation from everyone? Somebody said confused out there one time, so. Yeah, you said it.

Somebody said confused. Yeah. That was 45 seconds ago. Just back it up a couple seconds. Confused. You decided. Yeah. What do you mean about confused?

Because you don't know what relationship you're in right now, right? Yeah. situation shit yeah it's very good that's all I want it's a little explanation limbo limbo yeah you said limbo no I said limbo she said yeah yeah yeah yeah and he agreed with limbo and then you said confused and he does not agree with that yeah is it limbo and confused the same thing no no it's like the death confused when you're dead you're in you don't know what you want to do limbo is when you're almost paralyzed you're

frozen yeah in between for it's how I would do You're in the gray space. Well, because South Park, they had an episode. Okay, anyway. Break it down for me. Rob was to hear this. So in South Park, there's an episode where Michael Jackson is in limbo and he doesn't want to go to the heaven or...

Oh, that's Pergatory. Oh, okay, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's in limbo. He's suspended in limbo, meaning he's not coming or going. Oh, yeah, kind of limbo, like the indecision. But purgatory is in between heaven and hell. Okay.

Would you like to be in purgatory? No, because I just accept that I'm dead, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm not going to lingo, like, just. You'd be like that angry. You'd be like that lingo? You're not going to lingo? The angry spirit in the movie Ghost.

Oh, yeah. Who taught Patrick Swayze how to flick a coin, you know? The angry guy who's... I love your references. Yeah, he goes... They pushed me in front of the train. Clearly, he jumped. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that's the legend if you commit suicide you're stuck in purgatory Yeah yeah yeah Wouldn't that the word on the street It is the word on the street You have really good movie references

I think you and I keep it really fresh and young I know because I do I know because I do references about like He does the same thing Yeah I do the same thing You know in your hymbo Yeah Of course

Go on Yeah in the 12 anger man Yeah like my references are so dated I should jack it up Right my right my You know, in the movie, Prey, that's better. Is that too old even? But I think the older the movie, the more people will generally understand.

Because there weren't not as many, like, hits back then. Like, you had time in between great movies. Now it's like there's just too much. It's too obscure. Right. Pray, you'd be like, what? Well, you also went to the movie theater. Exactly.

I feel like it does that anymore. I think all the great, there's a lot of great movies, but it's all, you're watching it at home. The shared experience I'm watching movies is kind of gone But Predators Badlands I went to the theater I went to watch it too What'd you think?

I don't know Oh he's a limbo Really? You're in limbo? Yeah I don't know What do you think? Honestly I think you're in purgatory

Oh the movie Because it's always the same concept Like No That's absolutely I didn't expect Okay, that's absolutely not true.

You don't think so? No, no, I'm going to... The son is always the... There's always a winkling and he's got to prove to his dad. I think it's a trope, but I just think that here's... You watch any...

How many Predator moves have you seen? I'm not that deep into Predator. Do you see the original? Yes. Okay. That's the only one. Pretty much. Okay.

And it was probably in the theater, like a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you remember the concept of the movie? Yeah, of course. Okay, good. Yeah. I like when he rips spinal cords out. Exactly. Love that.

Very good. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm going to, not that I'm a, I mean, that deep into the lore of Predator, but I've seen a lot of the movies. So generally, the movies, you don't know much about, you know what I mean, the Yukja. You see the movie? Not yet. Yeah, yeah.

The Predator. Yeah. You don't know much about them. It's basically, you know what I mean, people being chased by the thing. Right. And you know all the things. And he's a really good hunter. Great hunter.

It's in the culture, right? And he comes to Earth to hunt. It's his hunting ground. Right. And he enjoys it. He's got stealth mode. Yeah. And he's pretty bad dude.

So I'm going to give you some suggestions if I may. Lay it down. I've got a list. Before this. Right. So Prey, it was a movie. I think it's on Amazon. No, no, it's on Hulu.

Yeah. And it's when the predators first came to Earth. So it's native kids fighting the predator, which is an amazing. It's so good. And it's the same director, Predator Badlands. Yeah. Right, Tractonburg, right? Is his name?

Dan Tractonberg? Yeah. This guy is an incredible director, right? So he did the movie called Prey. I would highly recommend you watch it. So the predators come back. Yeah. And they're hunting like native.

meaning like Native American, like Indian? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. American Native. I don't even know, call them in prehistoric times. Is it prehistoric? Is it set in prehistoric times? No, no, no, I'm talking about like, it's a prequel, so it's like 1700, 1800. It's old, old.

It's pretty old, yeah, yeah. Okay. And so, great movie. Okay. But Predator Badlands is from the perspective of them. So he's the anti-I don't even call Anterman. anti-hero. He is the hero. Protagonist.

Protagonist. Right? And so it shows his relationship with his family. Yeah. Right? Oh. What? That's interesting. It's interesting. And he has to do something for his family to get back into the family is pretty much the premise

of the movie. That's cool. Yeah, yeah. And it's really cool because you don't know the culture of them. You don't know the family dynamics. You never knew in the past, right? And you get insight into why they are the way they are, I think. Is there any dialogue?

There is. How's it working? The Yukcha speak... Yeah, that's the language. And there's always... I forget what... It's like a drunk cling on. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

You Star Trek fan? I mean, I don't say no. But you never say yes. I say yes. Okay. So, yeah, the Yukcha. And then Ellie Fanning. plays an android, you know, I mean, from a big corporation from Earth.

And it's an adventure between this little Yukja predator. He's actually pretty big, but in his family, he's the smallest. He's the runt. And this android, who's split in half, and they run into another creature that follows him around. I think it's a really, really good movie. Good. I can't wait to see it. You're turning me on to it.

Yeah. Did I just convince you that it was good? I didn't say it was bad. You had a tone, Jaime. Oh, no. No, you can make fun of them. No. Oh, yes, you can't.

No, you can't. No, you get, you got to learn this guy. I didn't say, like, I liked it. I enjoyed it. Yeah. It was fun. Yeah. Especially that little creature.

Yeah. That's what I just said. That was a comic group. Well, I'm, you know, sometimes, as of recently, I have not, and when I say recently, I mean, like, the last 10 years, I haven't really dove into sci-fi or anything. I've been more. or focus on, like, dramatic, and comedic.

There's the two things that I really love. But watching this peripheral stuff kind of lit my fuse again on the sci-fi thing, if it's somewhat grounded. And your pitch just now, on Predator, kind of wedded my appetite for it. So I might have to check it out. Yeah.

Well, it's not grounded in any kind of reality. What? What I'm saying. You lost them. What I'm saying, it still has, you know what I'm saying? It still has, you know what I mean. These devices that are very side-fired. You can't watch, like, if there was a movie about Klingons, you know what I mean?

I could tell. I could do it. You could do it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I enjoy that. Yeah, I enjoy it. The adventure of it. Yeah, I need a good one.

Bad ones are really hard to watch. Oh, of course they are. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yes, Jaime? Nothing. I was just burping my dad. You have to reveal that.

That's crazy. All right, so you wrote a book. Hey. Can I get it, can I grab the book? Yeah, I did. Ooh. Oh, nice catch. Rob Riggle,

grit, spit, and never quit. I love that cover. A Marine's guide to comedy and life. So this is a life story. This is a memoir. A memoir I mean. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh my God, that's you in the military. As a Marine. I was sailing to Liberia. My God. To evacuate the embassy there. Oh, damn. Wow. May I ask you a question about it?

Yes. At that time, hold, are you? That, I am 25. 25. Were you doing any sort of comedy then? None. No comedy? None.

Yeah, yeah. I just knew I loved it. You loved comedy. I was a fan of comedy. And did any of your comrades? Is that what you call them? Yeah. Marines.

Yeah. Fellow Marines. Yeah, yeah. Comrades are very communistic. It's very communist. Yeah. I lean a communist. You know, right?

Go Zoran. But anyway. But anyway, so any of your comrades, did they ever go, Hey, Rob, you should do comedy? Yeah, a couple of them did. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I mean, you know what it's like when you're in a friend group, you know, you crack wise, you have fun, you do impersonations, you do bits.

Yeah, yeah. And, yeah, people would say, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're funny. You ought to do that. Wow. And so at any point in this Marine journey, you know did you in your mind you were like

I'm going to do it one day or was that all you do know yeah so it was weird is so I was a when I was in college I was a theater and film major and I I was a fan of comedy

I just loved it I could quote almost every comedy from the 80s chapter and verse movie was young Frankenstein what's that young Frankenstein

do you like that movie oh my God it's like one of the best it's one of the best but also all the comedies from the 80s 80s, stripes. Loved them.

Meatballs. Oh, my God. Ghostbusters, three amigos. I mean, just go down the list of all the great comedies from the 80s and 90s, and I loved them all. But I just didn't think it was real. I just didn't think it was like, tangible. Yeah, I was like, I went to University of Kansas.

I'm a kid from the Midwest. I knew nobody in show business. I didn't even know what to begin. I just knew what I liked, right? Yeah. I remember when I was a kid, I saw Eddie Murphy Delirious and thought it was one of the greatest things I ever saw, right? And I was like, the next day at school, I was quoting it, you know, for the other kids in the class. And I just loved that. You never seen anything like it back then.

Right. And so I, but I didn't know, there was no link to how to get there. And so when I graduated college, I had my pilot's license. And I, and so I got a guaranteed flight contract with the Marine Corps. And I thought, well, as a theater and film, I'm going to be a waiter or I'm going to be top gun. I thought top gun sounded better. Yeah. So that's what I did. I went to a flight school and was working my way through it. But when I realized once I pinned my wings on

they got me for eight years from the time you pin them on. So I would have been in for almost two and a half years at that point. It would have been 10 and a half years I'm in. I would only have nine more years to retirement. So then I was like shit, I might as well stay. I wouldn't be getting out is what I'm saying. Wow. So then I said, well

I think there was something inside me. I had a friend of mine who went to Chicago and was doing stuff at at the Improv Olympic and Second City up there and he was like, Rick, oh, this is what we did in college. He goes, it's called improv. It has a name and you're better at it

than most of these people. I'm telling you should do this. It's called Improv. It has a name. Yeah. To us, it was just a big fuck around. Yeah, yeah. Fascinated.

But it had a name. It was called Improv. So he got in my ear at the right time and I remember I was down in flight school in Corpus Christi, Texas, Naval Air Station, Corpus Christi, Texas. And I had just finished primary and intermediate,

and I got helicopters, and I was going back to Pensacola, and I was going to start doing that. And I decided that if I switched to the ground side, became a ground officer, I would no longer have to, that long of a commitment, and I could actually go move to Chicago and study Second City and try this thing. So I finally kind of got the Cajonis to do it.

I don't know why. I had never been on stage. I had never done anything. Wow. But I went to the beach and I had a book I was reading and I wrote in the back of the book. If I quit flight school, it's got to count, it's got to matter. So what am I going to do? So number one, I wrote, I'm going to get on Saturday Live.

And that was in September of 94. And in September of 2004, almost to the day, I got a call from Lauren Michaels asking me to join Saturday Night Live. So it was a long, long time. I mean, and in that 10 years, I had to get myself. from Corpus to North Carolina I had to go finish up my time on the ground side of North Carolina I got to New York somehow

that's a whole other story you can read about it in the book then I joined the UCB I tried stand-up first in New York and I fucking hated it I sucked it was terrible it was the most scary thing I've ever done in my life

and then found UCB and worked my way through that for about seven years and then I got a break the first job ever got was Saturday my God. Were you nervous? Terrified. Yeah, yeah. Terrified. I mean, I was so green

to show business. I didn't know how anything worked. And I just assumed it was like the Marines. Everybody's honest. Everybody does their job. If they say they're going to do something, they're going to do it. You can count, you know, if someone gives you their word, it's going to have. I had a lot to learn. Yeah, I mean, when I got on Mad TV.

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At the end of the year, I found out, and I auditioned for Mad, too. Oh, did you really? Yeah, I didn't get it. Oh, it would amazing if you were on it. But I found out that at the end of my first year, I cried over this. I found a tape of all my, they recorded all my table reads because I was so bad and they wouldn't laugh about it behind my back. Oh, that's terrible.

Yeah, yeah. That was my, you know, and I was bad. I couldn't. Well, we all are in the beginning. I couldn't even read that. I was so nervous. Yeah. I couldn't even get through a sentence without stuttering or fucking up a word.

Like I remember one time a word was shittaki. I said, shit take. yeah yeah oh i've mispronounced words at table reads yeah yeah yeah and it's the worst and i felt like i was drowning every week and i was like it got to the point where i was like please fire me because i every i couldn't sleep yeah the the nerve it is a shocking it's shocking to the system yeah and if and for me i i mean i was still very i had been doing stuff on stage at the ucb for many years yeah but i had never been that i hadn't been in the front of the camera that often and then live tv live to live where you're reading off cue cards and you only see one cue card at a time

you know and there and the way it works on s andl is the uh the host is always in black and then everybody else has a color code so like if tina and amy and i were in a scene Tina would have brown ink she Amy might have blue and i would have green wow and and you're color coded right so so i would be looking for green and they would change the dialogue they would change because you know the band went too long so we had to make cuts it's on the car oh my god and then you're going live and then all of a sudden you're reading the card and you're keep looking to see what they cut and then they reveal it and you're like oh that's me uh blah blah blah blah blah blah and then oh where's the rest of that line it's gone oh shit

where are we going now what's happening now and it's all happening you know oh my it was terrifying It was terrifying, it was terrifying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but Horatio's saying, so I sat next to, I'll tell a little story here, I sat next to Horatio at the table reads, right? Yeah. Horatio was hilarious because the year I joined, I was the only guy hired. Wow. I was the only guy in that freshman class.

Was there the past of 15? Were the, who are the ladies that were hired? Nobody was hired. You were the only one hired? The only guy hired that. Wow. So, but her, so I sat next to Horatio at the table read, and I, I, would get nervous, you know, because I'd know, oh, the sketch is coming up, or one that I wrote

is coming up, or, oh, God, you know. So he could tell, like, I would be fine, and then he could see that I'd turn into a ball of nerves. And he's a fantastic artist. I love him. And he would draw me. He could draw a really good me with, like, big eyebrows and stuff, but he would draw these hilarious pictures. And I wouldn't know, I wouldn't see it, because I'd be in my own head I'd be over trying to pre-read sketches and stuff and all this stuff and he was as cool as a cucumber because he was like whatever but he right before I'd get ready to read he would just take it and slide it over to me and it would always be me getting fucked by an alien and it would be like this big alien dick going through the back of in my mouth and out the back of my hand whatever

and the head would be exploding yeah and it would be the most shot but it was so graphic and so well drawn that I would see it I mean I would fucking die laughing every day because he found new ways to just do that shit and he did it to make you calm yes he was doing it to calm me down and get me relaxed yeah and it always made me laugh

it always put me in a good place yeah you know and so I was I'm always very grateful to her issue he was a he's a good man I find that there's two types of people people like us but then there was the other guy who's so confident Zoc Doc is a free app and website

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top three national banks combined. When I was younger, that overdraft fee would absolutely kill your whole. Kill me. It would destroy my mind. Destroy me. And my younger self would have really benefited from something like Chime. I ate a lot of pizza that overdrafted me. Ooh. Pizza will do it. Work on your financial goals through Chime today. Open an account in two minutes at chime.com slash tigrebelly. That's chime.com slash tigrebelly. Chime feels like progress. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank, banking services and debit card provided by the Bankor Bank N.A or Stride Bank N.A. Members FDIC. Spot me eligibility requirements and overdraft limits apply. Tee's apply at out of net work ATMs. Bank ranking and number of ATMs, according to U.S. News and World Report 2023. Chime checking account required. They just show up. Even new people. And they just do it. I don't know if that comes from super confidence in their abilities or just an ignorant bliss. Yeah, because I think like delusion does take you really far. It can. I've seen guys that are out there and they're just.

big dick energy and you're like, really? Yeah. You know, okay, I guess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, if they do it. If they do it, if they do it. Yeah, yeah. But if they do it right, they can get you to buy into it. You know, you're like, I guess I'll go with this guy.

Yeah. But what is that? They're born with it? No, we were beaten. Oh, that's right, by our parents. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we were being. We weren't allowed to just be.

Yeah. So do you think that like if I wasn't beaten and molested and stuff, right? Yeah. Yes. The answer is yes. You know what I mean? Anyway, that I would be, do you think I would get into, I would have gotten into comedy? You'd have a little bit more like audacity. You'd have a little bit more like self-belief, I think. Yeah. I have no belief. That gets beaten out of you, that self-belief. You have enough belief. You've made it this far pretty well. So you got something inside you. He beats himself up more than anyone I've ever met.

But I do it in spite of. Here's the thing. I go through all the fears and the anxiety and the fucking self-abuse. Right. But you still got the- But I still will show up. But that's the thing, though. You still got enough Moxie to go the last 10 feet.

Yeah. Meaning from the wings to the microphone. Yeah. That last 10 feet is the, it's the lonely walk of a comedian. Yeah. And not many people make it. where you go from offstage to the center

where you grab the mic that last 10 feet that's the courage walk right there and you got it so you can beat yourself up you can be insecure that's probably what makes

for good comedians is all of those phobias all those fears all those anxieties because everybody has them but if you complete the walk if you take all that and still finish

and get from the wing to the mic you deserve to be there yeah that's the I agree and I think that people go God, you're talented

or these things and that might be true but although I even doubt that sometimes but yeah but the one thing that I've always done is I'll make that walk yeah here's how I look at

my life like especially stand-up and stuff people will go how was that show last night you mean the war I don't view it as a show. You remember? It's a combat sport for you. Yeah, yeah.

To me, it's a war. And, like, he's been backstage. His green rooms are not enjoyable. It's not the, you see on TV, all we're kicking it. It's like him stressed out about himself. You know, you see the sun bear at the San Diego Zoo just doing sad little circles, pacing around.

Oh, it's him. Yeah, yeah. He's just, he's not where he's supposed to be. That's, like, Bobby, just sweating, cursing at everyone. I don't curse at people. What are you talking about? But I do hear this. All right.

I hear what you're saying. What are you talking about Willis? One of the things I used to do when I was doing stand-up was I learned this all about physiology, the physical body. Here we go. I love the science. And, you know, you got to move your body. You know, you get that, one, it gets the anxiety out of your body. God, I love it.

And so, and also it gets your mind-body connection going. So I would walk, and I would do intentional, I would do a goofy walk where I would, you know, walk like. this and I would take big strides and I would pound my feet and I would flex you know I would do all this weird looking shit like if someone saw me they'd be like what the fuck is this guy's problem but it got all of that

shit out of me and so by the time I got to the stage I was feeling connected I was feeling good I didn't have the shaky hands like it was all good that's what I was that's what I've been doing do I not do that oh yeah it works it really works it's a good technique and I think highly of it

but you shouldn't beat yourself up. I mean, that's easier said than done. It's not. Oh, I know what I was going to say. So you go through this hell, pre-show hell. You get on stage and you do your stuff, right? And it fucking kills, right? That's the juice, right?

That's what keeps you, that's what allows you to come back the next night. Because if you went out there and ate shit and everybody said, fuck you stop, I hate you. Okay, then it would be a matter of time you wouldn't be coming back anymore. Yeah. But they love you. And so you get that, when you get that, that's what allows you to overcome, I think, right? Yeah. But also, here's another thing, Rob, if I may interject. Please.

Is that my comrade. Oh. Just go with a friend. Buddy, cow. Yeah. is even if it's not going well on there, which is, you know, there's been, like the first shows in San Francisco were tough.

I mean, tough. The tough is I've seen. No one starts out killing it, I don't think. You all have to, everybody. This is two weeks ago. Go on. 30 years to my career. This is nothing, this is two weeks ago.

Because I did a Tuesday, Wednesday. But you were prepping for a special. Yeah. Okay. That's different. And there was some stuff that I had to put in there. That's totally different. But even when it was tough and I was like, oh, this is a tough room, I think I've, because

20 years ago, if they were tough, I would be dying on the inside. Like it would be like, I've got to do something to change this. And I've shifted into, I don't care. You can breathe in the uncomfortable. It's weird. No, it's not weird. I don't know what happened. It's an awesome sign for you.

as a performer, it means you're maturing and you're getting into that space that takes forever to get to. It's a great thing. But it took me 30 years to get there. Yeah, sometimes it takes that long. There was a time when an improv or in an acting scene,

if there was silence, I could feel the flush, I could feel the rush, and I've learned how to live in it now, where I let it breathe, I let it take its course, I don't panic anymore. And in those moments, you find gold and magic

and all kinds of wonderful things. But, oh, you think it didn't take a decade and a half or two decades to get over that? It took a long time to get there. Or when I used to do a scene in a movie or whatever. And in my peripheral, I'll see Video Village. Right? So I'll do the line that I thought was going to be.

You're checking in with them. Yeah, but in private, I can see them. And so I'll do the line that I think is going to be the funny line. And I'll say it. And in my peripheral, I'll see people go, I got you know what I mean and I used to fuck me up you know what I mean

but now in that scenario I'm okay you know yeah they'll give me a note exactly they'll tell me if we need to do it again I have a question about that decision that moment when you decided okay like I can either become a pilot have this great career

live in the safety of this career to you know what I'm going to take this big leap into the completely other side of this, which is not just any old career. It's entertainment. It's like... It's a life in the arts.

I don't know. Like, I don't know if there's a one silver bullet answer, you know, to this. But I think it was, I think it was a, there was something inside me that just believed I could. It was a belief. And then when my friend kind of confirmed it for me, it was like, I'm telling you, you got to get up here.

Yeah. This is what we did in college. You're better. I think most of the people at this. And you don't even know what you're doing. Like, if you got up here and learned how to do this, I think you could do well. And I trusted this guy not to blow smoke.

You know, he's a fair-minded guy. So if he wouldn't have said those things unless he truly believed it. So I don't know. I think it was always underneath the surface. That's why I was the theater major, theater and film major. It was always there.

I just didn't have the juice or the Cajonis or the Moxie to do it. I couldn't pull the trigger on. I couldn't commit to it. But then I got to a point in my life where I was like, if I don't do it now, it'll never happen. Like it was about to be taken off the table completely, and I would have never known. By the time I got myself out of flight school,

you know, did my commitment in the Marines on the ground side, and got myself to New York City and got my first stand-up class and I hated it. And then I went up and did five minutes and hated it because it was an old school teacher. And he was like, The way we do it here is three jokes per minute. Set up punch, set up punch, set up punch.

And that's the way it done. And I'm like, well, I like Eddie Murphy's storytelling with characters and this idea. No, that's not how we do it here. Three jokes per minute. So I wrote five minutes of shit with a set up punch, set up punch. I didn't even know how to write for that. I didn't know what I was doing. There were jokes that I had no connection to.

Right. It wasn't like from my life or from my relationship. I didn't even know how to write. So I was writing about mashed potatoes in my fucking underwear. quite literally you know I just didn't know what I was doing so I went and did that five minutes and hated it hated it it was like a car accident

I could feel the pulse in my neck I didn't even hear the audience I didn't even hear him and and I remember it was a comic strip live on the upper east side and I ran from the I ran off the stage not I mean I exited quickly and then

the bar is on the way out to the street so I stopped at the bar and I got a beer and I drank it faster than I mean I chugged it And then I was like, I'm fucking out of here because I didn't want to be seen. I didn't want to talk to me. I was just mortified. Yeah.

I was so embarrassed. Yeah. And as I was leaving the bouncer, goes, oh, ho, don't forget this. And he handed me a VHS tape of the five minutes I had just. And I was like, oh, fuck it. And I ran back to my apartment and I, you know, I sat there for an hour and let the adrenaline cook off.

And then I was like, wow, fuck, I might as well watch this. You know, roll the ugliness. So I put it in. And I didn't do as bad as I thought. It was a terrible. it was a terrible five minutes but it wasn't what I thought it was I thought they hated me

I hated me so I thought they hated me more and the truth was they laughed there were some laughs there was some if I had even heard the audience I might have let it breathe I might have let the laughter roll a little bit but I didn't because I didn't hear them

I had five minutes to do I was getting through it and then I was fucking off that was it and so I thought I made a huge mistake because when I was like I never want to do that again. I hated it so much. And I gave away a pretty good career as a pilot. And now I'm now I, what was I thinking?

You know, like I committed to this life without really knowing shit about it. I just had this feeling inside that. It's something I wanted to do. So anyway, I ended up finding the UCB shortly after that. And that helped me a ton because that fit more into what I needed to do. It got me on stage performance. It got me to a place where, okay, I felt like I could do this. And then I got a break eventually, you know, and I got some opportunities.

And then it wasn't until I was on the Daily Show that I went back to stand up and tried it again. But this time I had more confidence from being on stage. I knew how to write a little bit better. I understood what works and what does it with audiences. Did you have fun? Because you started. I remember doing dates and seeing you upcoming at these places. Did you, at that point, since you had an hour, have fun with it?

Yes. Yeah. And I give John Oliver a lot of credit because I shared an office with John at the Daily Show, and I used to make him come down to the UCB and do monologues for the Askat Show. Wow. And he's, you know, there's nothing you can do to prep for that. You get a suggestion from the audience, and then you as the monologist tell a story based on that. And he's a funny enough guy and creative enough that he could tell a story about anything.

And so he would tell these great stories. do scenes based on that well then he was like all right now you need to come with me because we're going to do stand-up and i was like uh i don't know man you know i don't have i don't have shit and i don't i don't know and he wouldn't take no for an answer and so we were both you know um we had time on our hands because i i was living in new york by myself at the time and and so was he so we'd get off work at five and we would jump into a cab and this is what beautiful thing about new york city yeah i would jump into a cab with him right after work and we'd go down to the piano room, the slipper room, the UCB, stand-up New York, you know, there was at least five to ten

mics a night that you could hit. And so we'd take a cab down to the first one. And I remember on the way down he goes, because he told me that day we were doing it. So when I got in the cab, he said, you got anything? I go, no. He goes, ah, he got one story. Give me one story. I go, well, this happened today. And he goes, fine. Well, I can tell that. So I got up the first place we went. It was a three-minute story at best. I just told it like it happened. And it got some laughs.

And that was bad. I just did three minutes. Yeah. And I got some laughs. We jumped in the cab. We were off to the next place. He goes, that was a good story. He goes, all right.

Do you remember where they laughed? Yeah. He goes, okay, good. Keep those things. Do you remember where they didn't laugh? And I was like, yeah. He goes, cut those things. Yeah.

And then he was like, and think of ways to embellish it. And I was like, okay. So we got to the next place. I did that. We'd hit like four or five places that night. Wow. And by the fifth place, I had like two minutes of pretty good stuff. And I was like, okay.

So basically, but I was like, all right, so this is how we're going to do it. So I would just kept building off of stories and seeing what worked and we did. But New York, I do think, is a great place if you're going to go build a set. Yeah. Because you can get so many, so many mics. LA's tough. Yeah. You know, to get that time to build a set.

Yeah. And then, then it was fun. Then there was a totally different ball. game. Then I enjoyed stand-up. Yeah. I really did, because I enjoyed the art of crafting it. Rob, I'm going to say something. Okay. Because I knew you haven't done it in 10 years. Yeah. Right. Yeah. So I have these new joke nights at the comedy store. Okay. Right. And I go up with a piece of paper

and it's sometimes that they're rough. Yeah. Okay. If you ever want to try, you can do the show. Thank you. I pack it out. Yeah? In the belly room. So it's like 75 people. The comedy store intimidates me. I'll be honest. It does. The culture is completely changed. I performed there once, maybe twice. And it was one of those where they don't turn the audience over. Yeah. You know, in that one room, they don't turn the audience over. So by the time I got up there at whatever it was, midnight, everybody was exhausted.

Rob, the club has completely changed in culture. Oh, good. Right. And is that a good thing? It's a great thing. Okay. Yeah. It's packed there every night.

Oh, good. Right. You're Rob Riggle, right? Yeah. No, I'm just saying that even if we had a, um, a Greg O'Grop Produce show, right, that he sells at the main room. I could even go,

he can Rob do five minutes, and you'd be able to do five, wherever you wanted to go up in front of a great pack room. Oh, that's awesome. Right? The culture is completely changed. It is tempting. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's very tempting. Let me just think about it. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to force it. No, no, no. It's always on my mind. It really is. Can we go more back into the book?

Yeah. All right, so where can, what else? So all the things that you talked about, like your military stuff, going into comedy, that's all in here it covers a lot it covers a lot of ground it covers a little bit of some fun hopefully fun childhood stories because it's a memoir it's about like a motivational memoir what I'm hoping is that if people read it whatever journey they're on they'll be able to take some lessons

that I learn the hard way and apply it to their life and hopefully it helps them so it's kind of a motivational memoir there's a lot of stuff in there about childhood and overcoming some things And then there's some things, military, you know, deployments to Liberia serving in Afghanistan, 9-11. I was down at the rubble piles working on 9-11. But, yeah, and then there's, you know, stories about Saturday Night Live and the daily show and films.

And just hopefully, again, like life lessons that I hope people can use in their life. Mm-hmm. So. Have you felt the, because obviously I felt the shift in Hollywood and all that stuff, have you felt it when you say shift did you mean the business model yeah the paradigms are shattered

it shattered compared to when we started when we started in this business there was an ecosystem yeah and you kind of knew where you lived and where you got your money and where money came from and how you got work and there was this whole ecosystem that was set up and and it worked it worked you know if you you could you knew

when pilot season was you knew where you know you know I don't even know when there's no more None of this exists. So basically all the paradigms of the past have been shattered and it's just wreckage and everybody's just grabbing for whatever they can get. And there's good and there's bad to it. One of the good things that came from this new paradigm is there is no more silos as far as work, meaning George Clooney, the biggest, you know, box office draw for X, whatever, he was doing coffee commercials. okay yeah those two worlds would never meet you know you were commercial television or film yeah

and you and you stayed in your silo now you go from television to film film to tv back to commercial back to this it's so that's kind of nice that's a positive that came out of it but then the downside i don't think that they would feel that way who's they the big stars they get paid huge money i mean if you watch steve korel and uh john yeah they're making these coffee commercials But I think artistically they're not fulfilled, I don't think. Well, that's not about fulfillment. That's about paying off the lake house.

Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that's about that's about. Everyone needs a lakehouse. Anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah. And a speedboat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And your own houseboat. Yeah, yeah.

You and everybody needs a cigarette boat. You're going to be in Hollywood, baby. A cigarette boat. But yeah, so the paradise have been shattered and that part. What's the negative? The negative is you don't know, like we don't do auditions anymore.

Like, I used to be able to go into a room and audition for a cast. for a casting director, the actual director, actual producers, talk to them, get to know them, you know, give them a little pitch, give them a little show beyond the dialogue. Then I'd read for them.

I could do it once or twice in front of them. And they'd say, great, thanks for coming in. And I'd get it or I wouldn't get it or whatever. But you got a sense of it in the moment. Now it's send us a tape, send us a tape, send us a tape. Well, I go to my garage. I read with a neighbor, if I'm lucky.

You know, I read with, you know, I don't know. Yeah. It's so hard to put this thing together. No feedback. Some people are putting like, they got lighting packages and stuff. I got my garage. Yeah, me too. That's it. And I do it in here. I have to put it on a tripod and like try to do it myself. Of course my tapes look like shit. Yeah. You know? And so that part has changed, you know? And so there's the, it feels like there's all this work, but yet the opportunities seem more limited in a weird, bizarre way. And then when you do, you have to go? Nope. When you do get a job

It's like how much is that $2? That's another thing Yeah yeah yeah There's $250 Channels Yeah yeah And so obviously the price is diluted Yeah

You know so that With that You get more selection But for us You know It gets more deluded But I also would think There's more work

Because there's 250 channels And it doesn't seem like there is Yeah there isn't There isn't It doesn't It doesn't Yeah yeah And then of course

The reality of show business The reality of show business, which nobody ever wants to talk about because everybody wants to claim, whatever, but let's be real. It's like Shakespeare said, everybody's a player, and you have your time on the stage, and then it goes away. You know, you can't stay on the stage forever. If you're lucky and blessed, you get to have a 20, 30, 30-year career.

Say that again. Say it again. Your time on the stage is limited. Limited. But it's true, like, I read this thing. Not for Ken Jong. Yeah. Forever.

Forever. But I did read about Eddie Murphy today, and he was talking about his 50-year career. Yeah. But again, these are like a handful of people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They get to have that. So the fact that you and I have been able to do

what we've been able to do for as long as we're... It's a blessing beyond blessings. I think it's such a gift. The thing for us to do now is to realize, okay, maybe I'm not in front of the camera as much as I used to be, but that means with all the experience that we have in front of the camera

working with actors, shots, comedy, writing, you know, okay, maybe we should produce more, maybe we should direct more. Or be in service and help other people. Exactly, exactly. So anyway, yes, right now, our business is

cattywampus. It's all dicked up. Yeah, K's Ket's And it's going to get even more scarier because, what's that guy who played him, the butler and the Dark Knight? Oh, Michael Cain. Yeah, he signed his life.

Not a lot of his likeness. His lightness? Likeness, not lightness. To AI? Yeah, oh, God. So he's going to be making movies for the rest of his, for millennia. It's like a commercial with his,

it's not his voice, but it's his voice. And it's like, AI is another thing that's got everybody dicked up in this town too. It should absorb what he was saying. It's real. From whatever that was. It's real, man.

No, I know. I know it is. It sounds like a hippie. No, you're right. It's real, man. Matthew McCona. It sounds like Bill Paxson and aliens. Another reference.

Yeah. We're all going to die, man. We're all going to die, man. I just worked with a son. Yeah, Paxson, Sonny. Oh, really? So talented. Anyway, very good.

Matthew McCona also signed that same deal that Michael Kane did. Really? Just a tidbit. I know. Would you guys sign your rights, your likeness over to AI? Not while I'm here.

In a weird, no. Like if your dying breath, you'd sign. Okay, on my dying breath, if it meant something for my kids. Ah. Then I might be, you could maybe talk me into, is this going to help my family in the future? Rob, hi, hi, hi, this, I'm AI guy. Yeah. And we have an offer.

Yeah, what's up? Yeah, big fan, by the way. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Doot do, do, dude. What is that? That's my heart machine. Don't worry about it.

Oh, wow. Anyway. I'm glad you called because I'm about to check out. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, Rob, you know, you're 54. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and you can never work again on screen.

We'll give you $30 million for your likeness. 30 mil. Yeah. Okay. Send over the doggie signs. Would you do that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you can never do anything in showb.

That's generational money for my family. Yeah. Yeah. That's my great. grandchildren. But what would you do with the time after that? Fuck, smoke a J on the beach. Yeah, take it easy. Enjoy the sunset. Yeah, yeah. You know? Live life. Finally, relax. We're so full of anxiety and pressure. How nice would it be to just smoke,

just smoke a fatty and watch the sunset and not have to worry about tomorrow. I can't remember the last time I didn't worry. I know. So that sounds fucking great. Make that deal. Okay, yeah. I'll I'll call Mr. I.A.I. So, Rob, but what can they find your book, Rob? Anywhere you find finer books. Barnes & Noble Amazon. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, wherever there's a bookstore, I think you can find it.

Go by, seriously. I mean, you listen to this podcast. So funny, so insightful. I'll be honest with you? Yeah. One day I'd love to have you back on this. Please. I love hanging out with you.

Do you not have fun with Rob Wrigal? This is great. He's so good. Wow, you're very kind. I love hanging out with you. I'm going to force you to do stand. And no pressure

No pressure, but give Rob a round of applause for you. Heyman has one question. Oh, you go ahead,

Rob. One last question. Fire. He was just drawing cubes. What kind of notes are those? No,

just cubes, but, uh... It's better than penises. It's good. What's it called it? So I'm a big fan of the office.

Can you actually marry someone on boat? Yeah. Like, not me, but a boat captain can he's authorized to conduct

conduct marriages. Well, it's because he was a Marine so I thought you have. I don't have the special skills. I mean, I can get them in an hour on the internet at the unity life or whatever it is,

unified life. Good question. No, I'm just asking, because what if I'm on, like... You want me to marry you in somebody? Yeah. What's that boat ride? Not Yosemite. We're closing with this?

No, way, I'm just going somewhere. The SS Minow? A three hour tour. What's that? Jungle Cruise. No, no, no, not jungle cruise. You just did. No, that...

Right? Niagara Falls. Okay. Niagara Falls. What? Yeah. Huh? He was improvising. For real?

I was just playing. For real? Yeah. Well, I guess Niagara Falls is a romantic place. People go there to get married. They used to, but not anymore. So you want me to do weddings on a Niagara boat, Niagara Falls boat? The one that gets right, like the made of the missing.

You're never getting married. You're never going to get married. What about you? I'm not saying, like, can you? I'm not doing that. I want to get married. You're never going to go. To who?

Exactly. You're never going to get married, too. Exactly. I believe in my phone. You're going to get married. I believe in my son. Anyway. And you're going to be there.

Oh, I will go. And I'm going to laugh at you. Why? Because I'm like, ha, ha, I'm married. Okay. Can I come? Yeah, you're the pastor. Okay.

Yeah. And you give Robert on a pot. Great question. Oolong kaya, madoom, the bongu Kyi, I doi loo. Shukuluki, mucke, salaman, fie, t'gutani, I'makbululin,

I'makbulin. Oolong kama, dundong, dung, d'pombolla, shu, book, y'i doi lo.