TigerBelly - Sam Morril & the Bobby Lee Complex

Episode Date: May 31, 2023

Sam is the nicest in New York. Bobby's celibacy backfires. Khalyla gets the insider info. We talk Sean O'Malley cuddles, haze energy, and Putin on a pony.  Pre-order new merch at www.sleptkingdom.com TigerBelly Live tickets at www.tigerbellylive.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Un podcast te permite evadirte, es verdad. Pero no también como nosotros. Somos e baneos. La agencia de viajes con agentes en el destino. De verdad. Y crean contigo viajes sin olvidables. Con un cierto toque original. También es verdad. Nuestros expertos locales conocen los destinos mejor que nadie. De verdad. Imaginemos y creemos juntos tu próxima viaje. ¡Evaneo! Chukotokomu, bakarki, Chukomura, bakarki, which is where the star goes.

And then, I'm on the fucking, you know, Das Boot side-sleeping. You know what I mean? Like, I could die there. That's how fucking people die. Yeah. Right? And yet, it still conjures up, you know what I mean? Like, he made a comment like how my side-boot is so dirty.

Like a bitch. No, I think the, I sleep in the bunks too. I just have like a second lounge in the back. I prefer sleep, the bunk is comfy. When it's driving, I'm like, it's hilarious. Bert Kreischer sent me a video of his tour bus in Europe and it's like massive. And he's like, this is where all my peasant sleep.

And here I am in the back and like a master king. And I'm like, why actually sleep among my friends? That's why I like you a king that sleeps with the peasants Is that what you're saying? I call them peasants and and and and Berk-Krisher is what you're saying a fake king. I think bird is changed No, I mean since that movie trailer it's on ESPN all over the fucking place. He is changing is he not let's start a war actually looks pretty good Yeah, the movie looks I'm like, this actually looks kind of fun. Yeah. But, you know what? It's so funny because he's, you know,

you can tell when somebody is taking it to the next level. Yeah. And then you see the people in the internet trying to... You're talking about alcoholism, right? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really blowing up. But, so, how long?

Because I mentioned you to Bertolini and Phil Burdolini. Bertolini. Wasn't it? Like Bertolina? Whatever. Bertolini. Bertolini. Yeah.

And they go, how long is he town for, because he's been in town forever. You've been in town for how long, L.A. I got in yesterday. Oh, they said you've been in town for three weeks. No, I was here two weeks ago. Oh, that would have been, I don't know three weeks. No, I was here two weeks ago. Oh, it's that one tomorrow. And just they, I don't know why they were complaining. I don't know why they were so angry.

Who complained about it? Mike Bertilini. He both did. And who else? Bill Burr? I wouldn't trust. Bill's mad that I'm in town with that. I don't know if it was Bill.

It was more Bertilini. Yeah, I wouldn't believe it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was more Bertilini. Um, is this correct? And then so when do you go start touring? I nonstop, but I'm going back out. How are we doing at 12-day bus run when we started like Portland, Maine, and then we drive

down and it's like, you know, we're hitting the south hard where it's like Birmingham, Memphis, Nashville. How many seats? I mean, some, I mean, Memphis is not fucking moving. I'll tell you that much. You just did it. Yeah, how do you like it? What are you playing in Memphis?

I don't know. Where is it? Mingle no, that's not what we play we played. I don't know what it was where Elvis is but um There's always a great We don't play there. We don't play for Elvis I mean there's like Elvis music everything around by the way Elvis plays shit holes to it I love when you go to these with these venues and they're like Elvis fucked in that co-check right there, like cool. Yeah, you know.

Oh, they showed us where he died in the bathroom. She said, man, Elvis died here in this bathroom. I can't imagine a corner in Memphis, he hasn't at least fucked or done drugs. Yeah, but y'all know, it's a back in the day though, it's like, you know, there was no internet and he lives in Memphis. It's a beautiful city, grateful. I'm not making fun of the place. I'm saying it's remote, right?

So no wonder he's like doing drugs and writing ponies or whatever he's doing. I don't know if he's writing ponies. I just made that up. I missed that in the Tom Hanks movie, I think. Isn't that what you did in Louisville? Yeah, I wrote a pony. Are you serious?

They wouldn't give him a big piece. They wouldn't give me a regular horse. They gave me a pony. You and a pony is the cutest thing I could write. I can't picture a cuter thing. Yeah, I know. But not with when everyone else you're with is on a regular and I pitch something your only fans is just you writing a pony all day

and like different locations so much. Like Putin. Is that what he does with? Well, no, but he has a guess. He was not on a pony. He was not on a pony. No, he was like shirtless on a steed, and then our fucking president falls off a bike.

I know. I know. That's what I know. Not exactly the... Yeah, but maybe a calendar where I'm on a pony. Yeah, like a little Shetland, or even the smaller ones, no, you can't ride the little ones.

I've been on regular horses, and I'm fine on it. I know, we went horseback riding. Yeah, I'm like, Genghis Khan on a horse, man. You fell off of it. I know, but still, he fell off. Genghis? I think Genghis was taller than you. Fuck you.

What's Genghis Khan? How do you know? I don't know. Let's pull it up. I know. I think you're right. Napoleon. I think you're the last short Asian in this. Napoleon.

How tall are you, how tall are you, Bobby? I'm five four. He is right under five seven. So he is tall Damn, okay fine Napoleon though. I know he wrote a horse And if he is if he's if he's taller than you we have to call the Bobby Lee Comba Bobby The Bobby Lee complex, but you know he because he had the complex. he's lying. I think you're the same height as Shakira. Fuck you, baby, fuck you.

I don't even know who Shakira is, but fuck you, man. Damn, I didn't know George Washington was six, too. That's pretty, that's all really. Shakira, five, two, five, two. There you go, dude. God, oh, dude. All right, stop talking about my height, man. Kim K is the same height as you.

Kim Kardashian. That's a big or butt, though Kardashian. I'd fight bigger butt though. Me. Yeah. Obviously. Let me just, I have a problem this morning and I wanna just get your guys' advice of that. Is that okay? I think I know about it.

What is it? Oh, cause the person you called to run the problem by then called me. Oh, you ****. Yeah. Okay. He's a rat then. You're not a rat. That guy's rat, but I love him.

How's he rat when you're about to announce everybody what the problem was? Cut that his name up. Okay, so Sam, Sam, check it out. I'm shooting something today was my first day. I don't know anybody. I'm a makeup, right? And it's one of those trailers

where makeup and hair isn't the same thing. And the lady that's playing my girlfriend is in the makeup charm in the hair chair. And she's Chinese. And the lady that doing her makeup is also Asian. Okay? She goes, and she has an accent. She goes, I'm from China.

Which is fine. Right? I didn't know. I'm a new say, I can't say. Yeah. You can't do an Asian accent? I don't think I should. I think you should try.

It's called acting. It's like an acting accent. Take a risk. Oh no, hey. Take a risk. Take a risk. I think the three Asians telling you it's okay. Yeah.

This is your one-ass. Yes, Sam. Do the Asian accent. Yeah. We're supposed to see the G-berg. I was like, take a risk. I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I said, I love China. And then I say, you know what China's known for? TikTok and COVID. And I feel the energy drift from the room. Oh, bad joke. No chuckle? Not only a chuckle, it felt like I was getting canceled.

It was. So then my girlfriend doesn't say any, the girl that playing me, the Chinese lady, she just leaves and she did face. Oh, wow. And she did face. Oh, wow. And then her makeup artist, this taller Asian lady, goes, that was really rude.

I go, what, I don't, because I didn't know even know what I said. Got to feel like every other thing I say is like the weirdest thing they've ever heard. But you didn't know it, you just told us. You just said that. You know what, she, they were angry, oh yeah, you're right.

All right, all right, all right. So, I don't, I don't, I respect the chance. I don't, I don't know what you were angry. I get you right. All right, all right, all right, all right. So, I don't know. You think of chance, I respect the chance. I just said hello. Well, you know how you sometimes you throw a ball. I can miss. Well, you're swing. Because that could work.

That could work in some rooms. And no, we all laughed. Oh, it wasn't even a funny joke. It was just like, I didn't know why I said it was early in the morning, it was six in the morning. You know, you're a comic at six in the morning. They're not the normal self. Anyway in the morning, it was six in the morning, you know, you're a comic at six in the morning, they're not their normal self. Anyway, she goes, that was rude, I go, why?

She's like, I mean, it's like we're getting attacked. Oh yeah. You know what I mean, because of it. And how dare you say that? And we got in a fight. Oh my. Wow. So then I had to go. Well, when she stood up for herself. Oh, fuck it.

Wait, did you defend yourself? Or you were like, oh, I got it. No, I go, you know what? Because I'm, because, you know, I've been in trouble, right, for my mouth. Yeah. So I go, you know, I'm gonna play this different. Like, you know what, I heard what you said.

And, you know, when I get you, man, I see it from your point of view. And, you know what I mean? I should have said it, and I really apologize. And you hear it's just telling everyone you didn't mean the urology. You're gonna hear this. No, I didn't mean it.

Just because I was doing this. You're smoking your face. No, or I'll let me do it again. Comedians can't since. I know, right? This is unacceptable. It's unacceptable, thank you, Sam. Thank you, Sam.

And then I had to go to her. She was sitting on set. And I was just leaning against the wall because she was doing something on her phone. And I was trying to like find the right window. And I, you know, COVID, I'm sorry. And she's like, you know why? It's fine.

And then I was at, but. That'd be great if you gave her COVID. And then, I then made a TikTok about it. I want it, I think it's- But let me ask you something. That'd be great if you gave her COVID, and then made a TikTok about it. Yeah. I want it, I think it's... But let me ask you something. I think it's just Korean Chinese beefing. I don't, I think that's what you,

I don't think it's an Asian thing. Yeah. Like, I think you guys are just... I think about... You should have beef as delicious though. Yeah. Yeah. But if the white dude said it,

you get in trouble, right? I don't think they would like it at a moment. No, you think in trouble, right? I don't think they would like it at a moment. No, they would complain. I don't, my jokes are really well structured and thought-free, I don't have this problem, but I totally understand. I mean, I know, I know, I know, I know.

But I don't think about it. I admire, I admire your balls for just going for it. But I wasn't even throwing it, it's not like it's gonna hit. I just said it, I got, you know, what China is for, you have a TikTok and COVID. I just threw it out there, you know what I mean? And then once I said COVID, I could just feel the room change. It's a, it's a bad joke, I know.

No, it's not even a bad joke. It's not a funny, it's not a, yeah. It's not even funny, I know. You were being silly, I think, I think it's fucked up to get actually bothered by that. That's all I wanted here. Yeah. It's a little weird to make a stink of it.

They know that you're a comedian, right? Bingo. Yeah. Thank you so much. That's why I love you so much, man. Yeah, no, you're kidding. So I got an ally. By the way, I like that an ally is now a guy who supports racist.

Sam is an ally. I'm like, I do support ignorance and really dumb batshit stupid jokes. Yes, I am a. All right, but you know, but as a comic, you'll always come to my side and I really appreciate that. I just, yeah, I mean, who gets actually offended? Exactly.

And also, it's like we're doing a movie. It's showbiz. Because he's like, good morning. What's your name? I didn't say like, hey, Chinese people created fucking COVID. I just opened with that. Yeah. I said, good morning.

Nice to work with you and all that stuff. What about you, Gilbert? You know what? Thank you. I see if I was there to get that room, I'm probably laughing. Yeah. That's why you're my boy dog. But then I'm going to be like, hey, I think you're going to get fired from this job.

Exactly. You say something. Wow. Because this is like a Disney kids movie. You're just like, you know who started COVID. Yeah. So this is a short, right? So there's no HR or anything. So you're good.

Yeah, Jason. Oh, if it's a short, you're allowed to do that. Well, if Bobby's in it, it's definitely a short. It's a fucking Napoleon fucking. What? It gets caught in a call back. You fucking fucking. No. Fuck it. Anyway, can I also want to say this to you, Sam?

You know what I'm in New York? You're the out of all the New York comments, you're the nicest to me. Am I? And the comics not nice to you? They're not nice. I mean, they're not mean. It's just you were, you have an energy of like,

welcome to my home. Oh yeah. Let's hang out or how are you, you know what I mean? Like that kind of vibe. Where it's like with all the other guys, there's nice, but it's like they're not like welcome. You know, it's almost as if I'm like, maybe in their turf, it feels like, you know what I mean?

I mean, we like having you there, man. I love when I see it, the seller and stuff. Yeah, but it's so nice. You and Rachel Feinstein. One of my best friends, the best. Yeah, no, you were happy to see you always. But you guys were so comforting and you know, it's like, I understand why you love it out there.

Really? Would you ever move to New York? Never. Why not? Never. I'll tell you why because I've never like, you know, we're broken up, but I've never, ever hooked up with a girl in New York.

When you there for three days and a half. No, but I've been there so many times in my life. Yeah, but a week at a time, you're, we're broken up, but I've never, ever hooked up with a girl in New York. When you there for three days, no, but I've been there so many times in my life. Yeah, but a week at a time, you're not there long enough. You gotta, you gotta, oh, it takes a month to forget pussy and fucking New York. I think so. I mean, that's a horrible thing. It's, it takes a month to date anybody in New York.

There we go. That was better. So you, what do you, what's the procedure here? How do you make what's the procedure here? How do you make it happen here? I just feel like I can read them better in terms of like if they like me or not. I have the opposite thing. Like I can't help.

Guys in LA for me are just like immediately, like I can't, my body can't do it. But when I was in New York, well you've had the best you know I'm saying but I was in New York it was that was rude what you just I love it I didn't like that yeah yeah can we do it have that over what did you slap his hand away no she's lowered it's more than a slap yes yes so when you've had the cut that part up, when you've had the best. Okay, good. Well, yeah, but opposite. I think New York's so fun.

People, I feel like they're nicer there. I feel like everything is just... You're a hot chick. You're a catch, Bobby. Exactly. Oh, really? I think you're a catch. I don't know.

I don't know. I just went on tour and, you know, Carlos, you know what I mean, he's getting a lot of play out there. Carlos would want to leave. And I got nothing. I think Carlos would want to announce that and have you believe that. But I don't think you're trying as hard as Carlos. No, I've seen him walk down to the lobby

with a new girl every city. But you've also announced that you're celibate. Yeah. But that's my gameplay. Well, that's a, it's not working. Because people are, I think, I'm going to Well, that's a, it's not working. I think it's not working. I don't fuck.

Why won't women fuck me? I don't get it. I don't understand. No, because I don't want people to think that I'm like sleeping around. So I say sell it. Well, mission accomplished. No, dude, stop saying I'm telling you.

I'm open. You're open, you're back in the market. What can I tell you why? You're adorable, dude. Thank you. You are, I think you're very cute, man. Yeah. Sean O'Malley goes, I just want to cuddle him.

Yeah. That's what he said. Yeah, you're, I'm cuddleable, but that's not, anyway. You know what, I'm, you'll see. I'm going to look like Jet Leigh in a year. Let's go. We're going to do a right. When does it start? Sam, are you, are you a fitness guy? No, but I've see, I'm gonna look like Jettley in a year. Let's go. We're gonna do a right. When does it start?

Sam, are you a fitness guy? No, but I've been exercising really good. I mean, I drink enough that if I don't exercise, I will look like shit, so I have to do something. You don't seem like you have any muscle. Yeah, it's a problem. No, no, but you can get them. Yeah, you can?

I could. Yeah, yeah. You're just a thin guy, do you not eat? I eat a lot. And Norman I could. Yeah, yeah. You're just a thin guy. Do you not eat? I eat a lot. And Norman's thin. Yeah. We just exercise a lot.

I would like to do a lot of cardio. Because I just want the boost. I want the boost on the road. Oh, it's so you run. You run. Do you just do this? You just run the robot. I run, yeah.

I'll do stuff like that. Or I, yeah, I just, I'm not a huge weight. I do a little, I feel like I'm not. My body's been described as a Holocaust body. So, like, that's what, they don't have that option on dating apps. So I just go with that, let it. But, no, I, like, when you look in the mirror naked,

you go, ah, Holocaust. Sometimes. So it's meek, like, your weak. I'm all right. Yeah, yeah. You feel So it's meek, like your weak. I'm all right. Yeah, yeah. You feel seem healthy to me. Really? Yeah.

It's told me I looked weak. I know, but I mean, compared to like Joe Rogan. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, are we comparing ourselves to Joe Rogan right now? I do. I do. I do, you know what I mean?

What do you look when you look in the mirror? What do you tell yourself? What do you say? Yeah. Well, you know, I've estado haciendo un poco de fat. ¿Qué? ¿Qué? ¿Qué es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que es el que No, no, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no.

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No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. No, no. Sejmentar tu público, entre muchas cosas más, adivina menos y vende más con Intuitive Mail Sim. La marca número 1 en email, marketing y automatización. Empezado hoy mismo en mailsim.com. Vas a vender a tus públicos de marcas competidoras en número globales de clientes en 2021-2022. Oye, este fin de boya al pueblo. Y guillenme a preguntar dos y venías, te apuntas?

¿Qué dices? Pero este pueblo es telegísimos. Nada, mira que fácil. Primero siete paradas de metro hasta Tachá. De ahí trena abajo, luegojo. Luego un traje. No te lee es. Este verano viaja de puerta, puerta y sin complicaciones con Bláblacá. Siempre encontrarás una cerca, incluso a última hora. Verás el batupóximo viaje. ¡Ya! Bláblacá, bláblacá.

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Fucking insane. I love steak houses. Me too. And then we went to one in, which one's New York or do you go? Strip house is my favorite. Ooh. I canes is pretty cool too. In New York? Yeah, they're like old school strip houses like red lighting

It looks like where they like shot a Casavetti's film like there's been some hit look at that shit. Come on That's the one in Indiana right? Oh, that's New York strip house. Oh, that's strip house. That looks great I love it. Yeah great steak. What yeah, that looks great. And then Look up the Indian I don't want the famous one. Indian famous steakhouse. Yeah, it's a good one. Yeah, I went there, man, downtown Indiana though, that's fucking,

that ain't beautiful. No, I remember I was checking in the hotel. Elma? Yeah, that's it. Elma. Awesome. I love wasn't there about, dude, I'm going back to my hotel and downtown Indianapolis

and the whole block. They have so much crime. I'm going down. The block is shut down. I asked a cop. I'm like, I got to get to my hotel. He was like, some kids were shooting around. I was like, shooting around. The same basketball dude. What are you talking about? Yeah, yeah. Wow.

A kid got shot. Wow. You would think maybe Baltimore, you know, I mean, Indianapolis. Baltimore shady, too. Yeah, it's pretty. I was just there. Really? Yeah. What your club or theater? too. Yeah, it's pretty. I was just there. Really? Yeah.

What your club or theater? It was a, it was like a rock club. It was called a sound stage. Uh-huh. It was cool. Yeah, yeah. But Baltimore is, uh, I know. You know what happened to me?

There once, I was at a comedy club, uh, MacGubby's joke house. I'm not bragging. But I was at a comedy club there. And it's a, it was like a club. It's a fun club. I was, I was in 2010 or 11. I was opening for Gary Goldman and

And I remember the guy who owns a club his dad had just died. So it was like horrible his dad died But we know he's you know, he's like walking around like moping. I'm like this poor fucking guy But then he's like I'm gonna do the before show announcement. So he gets on the mic. It's a rowdy late show And I just watch him go everybody Please settle down the rowdy is hell, settle down, please, please quiet down, and then he goes, shut up, shut the fuck up! I'm sorry, my dad died.

Coming to the stage, Sam Burrell, I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, poor bastard. Yeah, yeah. So Mugubi is, but I think it feels dangerous because of the show, The Wire. Yeah, ever since The Wire was based on something though. You're right, yeah. But yeah, it's a fucking dangerous town,

but I don't go out of my hotel. Do you walk around? I walked a little and you know, one time I was there and I'm in a hotel that was like, I thought was like fine, but apparently not, because the wire eyebrows so thick? Why no there? They look great and incredible More incredible than I was just watching the Jewish matchmaker on Netflix and one of the

One of the girls on there like her number three thing she said to the matchmaker was like He's got to have incredible brows. Oh, no, about it. I was like, Sam, is it? I think you were a dream boy. Oh, thank you. You got like a Vulcan eyebrows. Really? Yeah, it's insane. It's almost like...

Some call him Vulcan, some say terrorist, whatever you think. I don't know. No, they're not terrorists because they don't... Do you shave here? I have to pluck every... Every like few weeks, that's hilarious. Oh, that's hilarious. No, this?

If I didn't pluck, a woman would never shave. Really? I always respected the dudes that kept a little, like Michael and Peary Oli kind of has the kind of of an affer you and a brown. I'm like, good for him. And then your hair, is it natural or did you get a plug? Are you kidding?

Well, you could do it done a mono-scalco and get plugs. Oh, you mean from Turkey? Oh, he got plugs? Yeah, he's got plugs. You see those plates. I got plugs too. I'll be a Nashville coming up soon. Birmingham, Ch's got plugs. Damn. You see those plain. I got plugs too. I'll be a Nashville coming up soon. Birmingham, Chattanooga.

He's like hordes of men going to Turkey and getting the FUE, the hair transplant. And they all go home. And the whole plane is like dudes with like diapersel on their heads from like because you know it's bleeding. They'll call it Muslim. Okay.

Right. Unbelievable. Yeah, baby. It's so cheap to get the hair trans All right. Unbelievable. Yeah, baby. It's so cheap to get the hair transplants there. Really? Yeah. Are they good though? Yeah, so if you know, I know you wanted beard transplants.

Yeah. Like maybe Turkey might be it for you. Yeah, I'm gonna do beard end. I gotta do it now. You need a new beard? I can't grow. I saw Santino was doing a great job. I, but I can't grow a full beard.

Like a, like I can't do what you're doing. Really? Well, I think, but you look good the way it is. I know. I want to, I want to look like, um, I like that little Hitler stash. You go, I think it's great. No, I want to look like grizzly atoms. Really? You want like a big beard? Yeah, I want to look like I've been out in the forest. And I also kind of want to look, let's see, I just, I think with my face, it'll look good. Change the look. No, no.

Okay. You're cute like this. I need to change my look, man. I think it's gonna help me. I may get chest implants. No hair. No hair. Oh.

Like, I can't look at just tits, you know what? Nothing. Yeah, but that's yours. I'm sorry. I'm hairy. No, I like it. Don't you think that's a good look with the Hawaiian shirt? That's a good look. You know what? I can only wear it in like California. I can't wear this shit. Really?

It's really weird. Yeah, yeah. I'll put it this I saw the shirt. I was like I'll throw it in my LA bag Oh, do you have an LA clothing? I don't but I was like, you know Yeah, people have seen me in enough nix t-shirts. Yeah, I can mix it up a little bit. Is your whole body Harry? I'm pretty here, but your arms aren't it's weird. It's not that not that hairy. No at all Yeah, I guess mix it up a little bit. Is your whole body, Harry? I'm pretty hairy. But your arms aren't. It's weird. It's not that hairy. No, at all. Yeah, I guess not. But you're like, don't be scared.

I feel like I'm going in a direction that you don't like. You can talk about my body here. I'm flying with it. I'm flying with it. I didn't use some hairy in my chest, but I went to Turkey and they put it in a good job. But are you hairy down below? I'm gonna go. I it in my chest, but I went to Turkey and they put it in. Oh, they did it, they did a good job. But are you hairy down below, like a tongue-on? I definitely trim.

Oh, okay. If I didn't, I feel guilty. If I, I mean, you're an asshole if you don't trim a little. Yeah. You know, if a woman goes down there and there's a, else what man wants a bush? Yeah, you know? Yeah, I like shaving mine too.

Do you like it? I do love it. I like shaving completely bald. Really? Yeah, it's strange. It's strange. I like the bumps So you the razor burns I like the razor Yeah, that might be an explanation Yeah, I like bumps

Because it's like it's got like a chicken pox kind of vibe to it. Yeah, little braille. It is Oh, that's cool. I saw you on rio too. Did you? I didn't match with you. Yeah, I mean, if you should have tried for me. How do you see him, oh, close by? Yeah, close by. I don't see girls on my phone. No, I was at the cellar and he was there and I was on Raya and I saw him on it.

Oh, OK. Like, would you, like, if you saw me and I met, you wouldn't match with me. Does it? I don't choose men on there. I understand it, but as a funny joke. As a joke, we're like, we're gay. No, but as a joke.

But that'd be fun. It's like, you connected. Like, I was hoping that when I, if I, I did press it. You're really? You like to. You're like, you're talking about his pubes, saying, I saw you and Raya wink wink. I was like, you know what I was like,

you've got these nice, nice to me. That's why. And you. It's endearing. Oh, you two, man, you're a nice guy. I don't get why she left, I think you're great. I think you're great. It's not a sexual, there was a funny thing.

It's like, what if I press this and then we connect it? No, I know you, man. Yeah. A nice thing. Are you seeing somebody now? Kind of, early stages. Well, so yeah, early stages, yes. Exciting.

Yeah. It's great. You have feelings? I think we'll start a podcast, early stages, yes. Exciting. Yeah. It's great. Yeah, feelings. I think we'll start a podcast together and then break up and show moving. It's a good idea. Yeah, I know early stages. We'll see where it goes. It's funny. I haven't felt that. Have you yet? Yeah. Well, that hurts. Are you seeing someone?

Yeah, but hang on one second. Girl just broke up with you. What are you talking about? You were seeing her consistently for... He's so full of shit, Sam. Never believe a word that comes out of this man's mouth. You just got broken up with. And Sam. Really? How long were you with her?

So you're in a romance right now? I like a boy. Where? And he likes me back. Ooh, it burns. That's my favorite song from the 90s. I like a boy. Let's do that.

Is that Mandy Moore? Yeah. I like him. So you do like him, he likes you back? Yeah, but I think the problem is that like, I'm so scarred and so unready that I can't imagine being... Scarred by what? I can't imagine being someone's girlfriend yet.

Like, someone being called someone's girlfriend is like... But does he want it? Yes, 100%. Oh, man. Woo. But. Woo. So is this easy for you to talk to each other about?

Sam, again, he's full of shit because he knows this information. He's known about it for weeks. He's pretending right now. I think you're a damn fine actor. And I think not going to get fired from that Tiktok China copus. This is bringing the heat right now.

No fucking pretend. No, but I didn't know it was like like these feelings, you know, man. Of course there are feelings. It's been months. It's been a couple months. Oh, can we get a glass? Can we get a glass? I need a glass and all this dating.

No, but why is that a, why, why, wait Sam when your last relationship ended, was it hard for you because you guys were like, or did you try to keep it as discreet as possible? I mean, you can't keep it completely discreet because we were a public about the game, but I mean, no, I mean, I don't think we were on bad terms ever, so that helps when you break up and you don't hate the person, you know, I wouldn't keep doing a podcast. But have you talked or were still in a, there's check-ins, all right. I think that's like't keep doing a podcast with it. But do you talk to us still or not?

There's check-ins. All right, right. I think that's the young kids are doing it. You check in every once in a while. Yeah, and when else wants some of this? I'll take a little bit. Wow. You do to go back on the saw.

I guess smell it though. Let me smell it. Are you sure? I guess smell it, yeah. I can smell it. Oh my god, it smells so good. How healthy to do. What? I can smell it, yeah. I can smell it. Oh my god, smells so good. How healthy to do? What, you can smell it. Yep.

I had a pie the other day that was infused with alcohol. Cheers. So tell me how this happened. You and Mark are like. We made some boost together, Mark Norma tonight. BodegaCatWiskey.com. Oh, that's so good. I know, it's a good whiskey and we're getting it.

It's state, you get it in stores in California. Look, your stores have it. Wow. California in Texas, Kentucky, New York's been a pain in the ass, but we'll get there. I love the blue. I love everything about the labeling. Yeah, so it's fun.

It's so pretty. That's smooth. Yeah, it's really good. Now, does that, like, I don't know much about like if you don't drink that for a hundred years a bottle does it age well Whiskey has to be in a barrel I think yeah, it depends. Yeah, you know sometimes they do that like well You know this I think wine is different. I think wine that would work that way, but maybe not a hundred years

You wouldn't really want to go that long, but whiskey, yeah, if it's in a barrel, I think it's different than just the bottle, you know? Oh, so this won't, if I put this in my attic. Yeah, I don't have one, but or a basement. I don't want to hate it. It should. Like a whiskey shed. Yeah. For like a hundred years, the flavor will be the same.

I would think so, yeah. But it doesn't go up in price. Like I got a hundred year old whiskey. You know how they do that in movies? I don't think so. I always cool the guy who we work with gave me. He probably met him, Chris Hart. Oh, I like him.

Yeah, yeah, he's a good guy. I like him. He's right-handed, I don't know something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And he would bring me bottles from the 60s and their shapes in like a rectangle. And I was like, why is this a rectangle? He goes, because men would put them in their briefcases.

It's like mad men shit. Which by the way, it's a show I just recommended to the girl I'm seeing. And that show was not meant to be binged. She... I disagree. Oh, I love it, but now she's like men are fucking evil. And I'm like, well, you're not supposed to watch

the five seasons in three days. I don't know, you're gonna watch Don Draper fuck the entire planet. Yeah, but I just found out this thing about John Ham that I guess was kind of buried for a long time, which is that he was, I love him. I love him though. I thought the biggest madman fan ever.

He's a nice guy. And I know again, he was, he's like my top five, right? I was in a movie. I was in a movie. What movie? But nobody wants you. But it's out there anyway, so I want to say it. Like apparently he got into a lot of trouble in college because he dragged a man by his

testicles with the other end of a hammer in like some amazing incident. Okay. Wow. And a parent. Yeah. Well. That's what a parent. Yeah. Well, he's from Missouri. I mean, that's like the last, that's the least biggest crime in that fucking state, right? I mean, that's true.

Yeah, yeah. But yeah, like, he was, he hazed this guy who like, he beat to a pulp and like completely like, he fucked him up. And he's still like, he's got like, and he barks on his testicles this guy. Yeah, but you know this part of the hammer? Yeah, I know what the other has. He dragged him by his nuts and some like hazing thing. And this is all like well documented. This was like a thing he got arrested for it and everything.

That's when we got the part in the show. Like we heard you're a mad man. I mean that makes sense. Yeah. Wow. Allegedly. That's why I don't go those call like I wouldn't have never gotten a fraternity Hmm. Oh my god. No, you're not a guy zero appeal bullshit. You have haze energy No, he loves to haze. No, but he's been hazing George for 10 years

What's hazing mean then I think you like like, you're like, you know, kind of dictator vibe. No, it's a defense mechanism, my personality. Okay. It's because the world around me is so hostile, I have to protect myself. Thank, Steve. You know what I mean? Because you have jock energy. You have boolee jock energy, and I have to defend myself.

You have boolee jock energy. I have to defend myself. I have to defend the jock energy. Yeah, he got rob, drugged and robbed in Colombia this Thursday. Oh, that's right, that's right. Did you? He got drugged'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself.

I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself.

I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself.

I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I'm gonna defend myself. I was kind of neither. I went to a small school in the city. So it was like not, our sports sucked anyway. So no kid on this team was like, get out of my way, loser. I was like, you suck too. Yeah, you know, so, no. I mean, I play basketball, but our team sucked. Yeah.

So you were on the team. Yeah, but we, you want to know how fucking bad we were? I remember they were like, we were scrimmaging against a deaf school. And I'm like, oh, we this bad. By the way, the deaf kids don't hear the whistles, so they just beat the shit out of you. Wow.

They really play up the whole deaf thing. Well, I'm like, you guys could dial it back a little. You know, I remember, I went up for a dunk against one of them and he just yanked my hand down and I hit my head and got a concussion. Oh shit. And yeah, and they were just like, whatever. And I was like, these fucking deaf kids are mean.

Wow. Yeah. Really, they're aggressive in that one. It was like a game that just didn't count. It was just like, well, you just play a deaf school. Right. I was like, all right. Is there a blind team?

I don't think we'd beat them either. I think they would. Oh. I think I could be the blind team. Yeah, probably. You ever played basketball? I've made two hoops in my life. What, from where, from what?

The three-fifth line? No, just, I've probably thrown 300 throws. I only made it in twice. Oh, wow. Like that, what's that game, Horsey? What's it called, Horsey? You've said every word wrong, so I thought, what made two throws?

Horsey. You mean we made two hoops? I mean, this is seven, two hoops. You hoops, yeah, yeah. No, I, you know, Horsey. Horsey. Horsey. Horsey. I mean, this is seven more to go. You lose, you lose. No, you know, horsey. Horse? Horse, yeah.

You know how it works. I got you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've never won that game. I would love to see you. You would laugh and you would shame me. I wouldn't. Who shames anyone at horse?

This guy would. Now. You would laugh? I would laugh, I would shame you. Okay, you're a comedian, it's funny. Yeah, I would never play horse with you. Really? You and I will never do anything like that. Tennis, I suck at tennis. Okay, damn it. Are you good?

I'm okay. He's good, he's good at hockey, tennis, ping pong, and wrestling. I couldn't guess, I couldn't guess ping pong. He's good at swimming, he's good slimmer. Yeah, are you? I'm okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, to sleep. He's good slimmer. Yeah, are you? I'm okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, not like, you know, Olympic style.

Right. I get at cheese. I would go to the rec center back in the day and I would go there a lot, because there was 150 bucks for the year. It's great, you just swim laps, but those pools are so, a lot of Asians, by the way. A lot of Asian people.

But there's always like these weird, the lanes are overcrowded, so you have to swim around people. There's like a fat lady on a noodle who overcrowded, so you have to swim around people. There's like a fat lady on a noodle who would go there and you'd have to swim around, and they just float. It's a mess. But would you have to wait your turn

or would the, because there's so many people? Yeah, you just kind of swim around people, circles. You do? And that was, you could do that in the winter time? Yeah. Wow. It's pretty cool.

150 for a year and you get access to a pool in New York, that's a good deal. So you grew up in their hand. Ooh. Yeah. My dad did pretty well. What did he do? He's a lawyer. Yeah, he did good.

Yeah. So you had a good upbringing. It was pretty good. I had a complicated upbringing. My dad who raised me is amazing. My other dad sucked. You stepped dad? My stepdad's who raised me. He's a lawyer. He's a lawyer. Yeah, he's a great guy. You're original dad.

He lived right by me and he was not as cool. And you never said, in what way? Well, I mean, he left. Oh. No, I mean, but no, he's not like a bad guy. He's just like a bad dad. But there's, I thought him leaving was like the greatest gift ever, because he would have been horrible dead.

But at the time when he left, how old were you? Um, I had never met him. Oh, shit. Oh, so you were born, I had never met him. Oh shit. Oh, so you were born, he was never around. No, no, the story I heard from my mom is that she was rolling me into stroller once, you know, as a baby and she just ran in him on the street. That's New York and she was like, this is Sam

and he was like, looks like you and just walked on. Oh my God. Oh, cold dude. So cold. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, you know, but then I met him later in life and I was like, he's all right. He's not like horrible. He's just, you know,

Did he have a family after that? He had another son who he did raise and they don't talk either. So, oh, so it's one of those. So I said, that's a social experiment. It's like, maybe it's you. But, but I would run into him on the street and that was a weird part. It's like, because he lived in artisans housing for a while. So I would see him just on the street, you know? Yeah, I mean think maybe is that, do you think that's the root of why you want to tell

jokes? I mean, there's something, a thing that we have to prove to whatever, this fictional thing, right? That, you know, we, you know, we, I am, you know, I mean, I'm, I'm, I'm being real. I mean, yeah, I totally agree. And I think that combined with that, you know, my mom married a man who became my dad and who legally adopted me, that, you know, my mom married a man who became my dad and who legally adopted me like, you know, not like an orphanage, but the term is legal adoption, which is a fucking stupid term, but, you know, because illegal adoption is kidnapping.

But, you know, it took me to court, did the whole thing, you know, and it was like, you're my son now, and it was like a blended family. So, what, there's black people there? Yeah, black, Asian, Hispanic. Are you being real? No. Oh, it's a term when it's not like,

would it be a pharaoh? No, no. Yes, and Woody Allen. Yeah, yeah. No, but so I had a brother and sister from his side. So it's like, when that, I think when that happens, there's some weird tension when a family blends like that. So I think me being the youngest and me not knowing how weird that was.

I was just constantly trying to crack jokes. So I think it's that combined with that. I'm like, oh, I have to be talking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's interesting. It's just like the Brady's bunch in a weird way. A little bit, yeah. Your mom brought you, there was no other kid biological, you don't have a biological brother or sister. I have a half brother somewhere. Yeah, you arrive at Madam, yeah. You never met him?

No. You do want him? Well, I remember I brought it up to my biological father one, so I thought I'd love to meet him and go, yeah, you know, I floated that, he didn't really bite. I was like, all right, never mind.

I'm not gonna force the issue. I don't know. I just feel like you would say that so you wouldn't share war stories with. Interesting, that is. Maybe a couple more Netflix you wouldn't share war stories with. Interesting. Yeah, maybe a couple more Netflix specials than he'll be checking. Yeah.

That's how you actually work. Don't you want to know what he looks like if he looks like? He does look a little like me. Yeah. Yeah. And what if you guys are similar in many ways, you know what I mean? It's like a Puma or whatever.

Well, that's the fucked up thing is like, you could have the nature versus nurture debate, but then you meet my biological father and we have the same mannerisms. And you're like, that's the fucked up thing is like, you know, you could have the nature versus nurture debate, but then you meet my biological father and we have the same mannerisms and you're like, that's fucked up. Never even having met him. Wow. Does he look kind of like a tall,

but he's old as shit, he's like 88. Oh, wow. Because he, when he and my mom, I wanna say, hooked up, I don't know what the fuck happened. I don't ask, I don't ask. I feel weird asking my mom, because you know, she, my mom, I love her, I don't wanna't know what the fuck happened. I don't ask. I don't ask. I feel weird asking my mom, because my mom, I love her.

I don't wanna, I'd friends would be like, you're an accident. You're like, yeah, we'll draw a dog or unplanned. I'm like, yeah, I don't broach that with my mother. So I love her. So I don't know, so I don't know exactly what happened. But maybe we'll hear about it on this podcast and we'll have a conversation.

But yeah, that was... If your dad, if your biological dad asked for money, would you give up to him? No. Why would I give him money? No, no, just, he's calling you. Yeah. What's his, kind of just Bob?

Bob? I don't wanna say it on the, I'll say backwards, Bob. Okay. All right. Yeah. It's your dad, Bob. Will he say is your dad? No, he's Bob. Hey, it's Bob.

I'm in a pinch. Yeah. And son, I know that you're doing well. You know, I need five grand in a jiffy or I'm gonna get evicted. Would you do it? Yeah. Maybe.

I think you would. If it's about being evicted, yeah, probably. Now, your half-brother calls. Never met him before. Yeah. I know I don't know you, it's about being a victim. Yeah, probably now you're half-brother calls never met him before Yeah, I know I don't know you but I'm in a pinch any five grand at this rate. I'm gonna be fucking broke He's bringing people out of my life. What is this? Yeah, I would probably I do it. I hope he's not fucking listening Yeah, I have a rule. I don't want Mm-hmm, you can tap it once and then never ask again. But what about, but it could be any number.

I think the most I've paid somebody was $10,000. That's a lot. That's a lot. Damn. And then this person asked Bob if you're listening, Bobbi, and he's the answer here. But then he, this person asked again, years later, and I said, the money I gave you is not alone.

It's yours, but so you don't have to pay me back, but don't ask, I'm not gonna give you any more money. Was it the person of a drug problem or just... No, no, they just financial hardships, you know what I mean? And I feel bad, but, because I've had two know, hardships, you know what I mean? And I, you know, I feel bad, but, um, because I've had two people. How close are you to this person? Not that close.

I mean, I grew up with them, but not that close. That's a problem when you're not close to the person. If it's a close friend, yeah, if it's my close friend, I'll do nearly anything for a close friend. Also, Mark asked. Well, of Mark asked, I know he's been reckless as fuck. Just money. And Mark is the cheapest motherfucker I've ever met. Oh, really? I mean, he just won't spend money on it. He's the dude, he's been reckless as fuck. And Mark is the cheapest motherfucker I've ever met.

Oh really? I mean, he just won't spend money on it. He's the dude, he's like Gilbert Godfrey. Yeah. Like walk into a play, he'll walk up to someone eating and be like, you can finish that. And I'm like, Mark, you have way more money than the person you're taking for a drink.

Sentin' those like that. Is he? Yeah, he, cause he grew up poor. So he's just very like, strict with his money. I've seen this car though, he's doing all right. Yeah, the growing up poor thing is not the reason why people become this way. That's a good point. I've seen a lot of people. I mean, have you seen every person who grew up on that show,

athletes who went broke, they grew up poor, you know? Yeah, because I would argue and say that people who are poor actually more generous because they understand the idea of sharing a little bit better than the other types who grew up more affluent, I think. You think? Yeah, because my family, like, it lives in some of my family in the Philippines, like live an abject poverty.

And I would say they're one of the most generous people like ever, like they'll be like, keep eating, Sam, you want more food, you want this? And they don't even have it, but they just always't always do that. So I think that's wrong. That comes from something else. I don't know, I'm not saying that Andrew's

one of my best friends in the whole world. I love him so much. And I think he's a gen. He's a generous guy, right? I just feel like if I call, then I said, I need 20 grand, he would give it to me. He would give me 50 grand. Yeah, I think so too.

But attached to it would be a talking too. Like, come on man, you're gonna be better with your money, man. I think that's fair. You think that's fair? I think if you're gonna loan someone that kind of money. If it's okay. Yeah, she should be a lot of... If you give someone that kind of money,

you should be like, you're a fucking idiot. You're the money. Yeah, he's a great guy. I mean, I, I mean, I'm sure you feel it's about Mark, Mark. I'm just blessed to have a guy like him because it's like he, you know, he's right or die. He loves you. Yeah. I like Andrew a lot. Yeah. He's a right or die guy. And I'm just, you know, I look at him and you know, when he says, I love you, it's, I just feel it. It's real, you know, and I feel the same way.

But, you know, he gets grouchy. When he says, I love you, you feel it and you're a little bunk when he's in the back of the... Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk.

Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk.

Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Bunk. Oh, I don't like that. Because he's so tall and it's like, he has to sleep in an angle. Yeah, that doesn't work. From corner to corner. It's just like, you know, those planes, like certain planes that can first class, you have to face the other way when the plane is taking off. What?

Chairs are backwards. Yeah, the chairs are backwards. So the plane is going this way, but you're facing backwards. It feels all wrong. In the same way that that back of the bus room. Well, you've been on a plane with your- With you, with you, buddy feels all wrong. In the same way that that back of the bus room. Well, you've been on a plane with you. With you, with you, buddy.

Flying backwards. We've faced backwards while the plane was taking off this way. It doesn't feel right. Yeah, I don't like that. I literally don't know what you're talking about. Oh, yeah, so it's like this. So Sam is in front of us.

We're facing Sam. Are you really not getting this? No, I'm not. I've never been a flight where I'm staring at somebody. Yes, we were. It was back from Maui, back to LA. It was a nighttime flight. We were facing this way.

Yeah. And the other two people in first class were facing our way, but the plane was going. The head of the plane was this. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. Oh, that was so hard to do. I know, I just didn't even know you said that. Did you get that?

No, yeah, of course. Really? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I just had to visualize it. That's all. That's okay. Yeah, yeah. ¿No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no forma te gratis en el 17-06, PEPEFON. ¿Qué motiva a Azarazó casabatallar en un escenario y a niño de Elcha a rescribir las reglas del flamenco? Descubrelo en Kip Wolking el camino. Una serie presentada por Dani Martini y Johnny Walker en la que artistas emergentes y consagrados hablan de los miedos.

Alegrías y retos que supone construir un camino artístico. Escucha ya los primeros episodios aquí en Spotify. Buscarlos como podcast K volquen el camino. Johnny Walker, patrocina, esta podcast, son lo para mayores de 18 años. Disfruta de un consumo responsable. Is it mutual? I have no feelings for anybody. Oh God, okay. Sorry Sam. Yeah, I have no feelings for, although, oh my God. I have to say one thing.

Sure. When we were in, what town was it? Not Tacoma. Spokane. You don't even remember where she's from. Spokane. It's Spokane. Spokane.

Spokane. So there's a T shop there. Okay. Oh, I know where you were exactly. Really? I think so. Yeah, it's downstairs. Okay. So there's a t-shop there Okay, oh, I know where you exactly where you were really I think so yeah, it's downstairs like a T bar Yeah, you do I'm I'm thinking of Atticus. Maybe it's a different. Okay, yeah, but the T bar and we see a woman She's very pretty okay, and I'm just kind of struck by her beauty. Okay, right? She starts the conversation Oh, right also what do you guys in town? You guys are local, huh? You know what I mean?

Oh, yo, we're out of two. Wish you works there? Yes, you works there. Okay. Very nice lady. And I was there with Jessie, Johnson. And we're talking about conversation. And I just out of nowhere, I go,

do you know how like the enterprises run with dilithium crystals? Okay. And then she's like, huh? I go, yeah, I mean, and also those tubes, you know how like the enterprises run with dilithium crystals? Okay. And then she's like, huh? I go, yeah, I mean, and also those tubes, you know what I mean? You know how they get around this enterprise? They're called the Jeffery's tubes, they're in emergency. And she just kind of walked away.

Yeah. And I almost left the podcast. I know. I was like, completely lost her. And Jesse goes, you're just bad at it. You know what? You should have said, hey, we're doing a comedy show in Spokane. I know you got nothing better to do because you're in fucking Spokane.

Yeah, come on my show tonight, it'll be really fun. She had a son, so she had to do something with her son. Would you date a single mommy? Who I would. Because she's that hot. Yeah. Okay. Which is, you know how sometimes you like see a woman

and she's single and you're like, and her husband left them or whatever, and you're like, you want to be the hero. Oh, yeah, I love measurable women. I mean, when a woman is like not depressed, I'm confused. Yeah, if she's like really happy, I'm like, is she fucking dumb or something? I don't understand. But if she's like measurable, I'm like this chick. I get it. There's something there's something about it. I totally understand that. Right. But to a degree.

To a degree, I mean, look, at first, you're like, man, she's so, she sees the world and a nuance way, and then like a month in, you're like, you smile ever? Yeah. Yeah. I kind of want to be the night in shining armor. I know you do.

You really love it. You want to pluck someone from me. From the show up on your pony, you saved the day. Right. You're to pluck someone from... From the show up on your pony, you say it's a thing. girl who is like, what sushi? Oh, that's ridiculous. He's like, well, let me tell you. Yeah. No, no, no. But I do want to, you know, I mean, because nothing,

nothing he ever said or did kind of like fully impressed me. And I think he wants to fully impress somebody. Because I'm from LA. Like, I, you know, you see, she couldn't impress her. Well, that's a tough thing to say though. If I was with a woman who's like, nothing you said impressed me, that would hurt. Well, like, for example, he'd be like,

I want to take you to this really good restaurant. And I was, you know, he wants a girl to be like, is it Applebee's? And he, so he wants that kind of thing. What's like a good restaurant that you're taking her to? Oh, I would choose him to probably like, And he wants that kind of restaurant that you take or do I would choose to probably like Bow or something They got no boo. Yeah, you're not impressed by that

She grew up here. Okay. No, and she's also she's a fancy girl No, but I grew up here in LA. Yeah, even when I remember when she saw me perform like when we're that I was impressed by Yeah, but it wasn't like, was it impressive? Yeah, because you followed Chris Arrak. It was an Oscar's weekend. And I thought you were, you absolutely crushed that night. Oh, that's good. And I was like, well, it should, Bobby Lee's like...

I love Bobby's act, but it's no no boo. I mean, last time. Yeah. Yeah, I did date a girl though. When I one day with this girl, she went to the improv to see me perform. Yeah. And afterwards I go, what'd you think? She goes, I don't find you funny.

What? She said that. That's like almost a gift though, you're like, fuck you. I don't, I like this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like, I think could you date a girl who didn't think? No, right?

Of course. Yeah. It's my job. I mean, if you don't love, no, that'd be tough. If you didn't like, because I'm on the, I'd want to bring you on the road occasionally, if I'm never home, and then I'd look to the left of the stage and you're just like, that would be hard. Exactly.

You did. That is something that, okay, I'm wrong. You always impressed me. When I, when you were on the road and we went together, there was never a time that I didn't, I wasn't like in all of you. I was in love. I didn't do bad. You never did.

No, but with this girl, if I ate it, I'd be like, well, we just got a different show, whatever. But I thought I did okay. And still she was like, nah. Do you think she was just trying to be a man? I like Nathan for you, she says. Well, okay. That's a different thing.

I know, she was like, I like Nathan for you and I like Sasha Baron-Colon. No, she don't, but she don't. No, that's standoff. She sounds like a fucking idiot. I mean, I see what I like, Nathan for you, and I like Sasha Baron Cohen. No, she don't, but she don't. No, that's standoff. She sounds like a fucking idiot. I mean, it's like saying, like, it's like going to see a comedy movie and you're like, I like the favorite

and you're like, that's a different genre. That's not the same type of movie. Yeah. No, that's, and you followed rock and you did well. I mean, that's, I love following someone like rock because it's like, the crowds in such a good mood. They just saw Chris rock. Everyone thinks that's a hard spot, but it's like the best spot.

It is the best spot. Yeah. I mean, I used to do it after, I mean, Rogan's a little hard sometimes. Is he? A little bit, you know what I mean? But it feels good to survive after like a thunderous performance. Yeah.

Doesn't it feel good? Like, like, I got it. I didn't look like a fool. Yeah, rock is a rock is. I just saw, I was the next game last week and I saw rock and he's so he just walks up to you and he goes comedian. Yeah, yeah, like a scratch rock Mark Norman with the Yeah, yeah, but he will Smith really suing him.

No, no, I saw a yes. No, is he really or what? I'm not I didn't make this up. Oh, his face hit his pop. I mean rocks joke jokes on Will Smith were fucking great hilarious. So good. Maybe that's what you're saying. Can you sue for jokes? No. Oh apparently Chris rock won a $40 million lawsuit against Will Smith. For what? I think for defamation. Yeah, but didn't Will Smith actually sue him though.

I got so thick it like two weeks ago. That's what I I read. That whole thing is so insane man. It's like they're both performers. It's like me also can I just say they're both black? Is that a thing? That two people can be black? Yeah. No, that's not. No, no, but I'm just saying like you know what I had the beef when me and Ken Jung almost gonna fist fight. Did you really? Yeah. I bet you actually did.

Well, he attacked me and I dodged, you know what I mean? They got to do it like fist fight. Why'd he attack you? I was, you have to say it. Cause he, cause I was on his top 15 in my space and he deleted me from the top 15. And he put Judd Apat 15 and he put a jet appetite

He put jet apatone will spare all and all these no those are trades at when you the pennant though right there Yeah, so he had and I gave him shit about it. He had enough. How do you say it like hey Ken? Why oh big mr. Hollywood? You know man? Wow? You know moving on a bar, you know me and then he just was that going through a bad thing Oh, wow, but I'm just saying like and then you guys mean? And then he just was going through a bad thing. But I'm just saying, like, and then, and then, and you guys calling out, yeah, we're cool now, but I'm saying that, like, you know, we're both Korean dudes,

we just shouldn't be doing that. Are you cool though, because he won't do the podcast? No, he won't. No, he won't. No, he won't. No, he won't. And I guess when I asked him, because we reached out recently

and it was a politely declined. Yeah, no, you won't. Wow. I can give you a lot of guys that... Who else won't do this? But you're friends with them outside of this? Outside of this, we're fine. It's just they won't do it.

Who won't come on? Man, a scalco. Why? I don't know. Are we too dirty though? He might be too dirty for a brand. He did ours, but he zoomed in. Oh yeah, that's not really doing it.

Yeah, he's the only guy we ever had zoom in. I'm like, we can't do that again. Yeah, because it's so hard to do it zoom. He just was like, I'm not coming to New York and Mark was like, we should still have him. I was like, I mean, I just, I don't trust zoom. Yeah, yeah. I mean, it was like a sports show

and everyone zooms in, it's like, who gives a shit, but for comedy, you gotta be in the room. Dude, I feel like even like when they do call in radio, I don't do them. They go, you gotta call in radio, I don't do them. Yeah. They go, you got to call in radio. I'm not doing it because it's going to not help. Because I'm funnier in the room. I can make fun of somebody.

You know what I mean? Also, I can know when someone's done talking. We can feel the pauses and the rhythm in a room. Zoom feels very COVID right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But, have you been denied? Denied? Like having a gas, we're like, we were asked to gas and they said, no. I, yeah, yeah. But have you been denied? Denied? Like having a gas, like we asked a guest and they said,

no, I'm trying to think, I mean, we've had like never like in person, but I'm trying to think who like we at we've had a couple people like on the line and then they're like, they don't respond. Yeah. Do you just called DM them? I don't. We have a producer. I would be too embarrassed, I think. Yeah. I've had to do it and it's, I hate it. The worst thing to do. We had Hank Azaria on the line and I was kind of pumped to have him. I'm like, I love the Simpson.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I love Brockmeyer. That guy's great. But he kind of, we push hard for Charlie Sheen. Oh. This is like, who's a better drunken story? Like our podcast is we might be drunk. Let's get Charlie Sheen. That guy's got tails.

Yeah. But he might go like,. That guy's got tails. Yeah. But he might go like, don't talk about the AIDS. Yeah. He might have a list of things. Well, I'm happy not to talk about it. I have a blood or a woman. Although, I'm going to like, don't talk. We sit down, Mark's like, AIDS.

Probably. Kind of damn it. No, but we, he was someone we wanted. But, yeah, I mean, like comics always come on. It's like the more obscure guess words no comics for me when even come on who won't come on I don't want to call them out. You know, this is the most fun podcast. Oh, thank you. I mean like who won't come on I What she doesn't do any podcast. Yeah, I'm actually won't go on. Yeah, but but you know There are there are ones that are down and that's cool.

I think we're, I'm a specific kind of brand and I'm not gonna flow. You know what I mean? Like I would never ask Randall Park, I think he's just saying no. We'll give it a try. You know, it's weird, it's like it's like the Asian shit with you.

What do you mean? It's like, why is it only the Asian people that won't come on here? Oh, I honestly think that because I noticed it on this tour, you get out of thousands of people, we'll get 20 Asians. Right? No way.

I'm being real. 100%. A Tiger Belly show was like, no, yeah, but in Seattle, you got a lot, but maybe there aren't a lot in Nashville. Okay, well that's it. Yeah. Oh, right, man.

No, but still, I think that in some places, you know what I mean? I go, you know, jokoi would like be 50% Asian here, and I'm 5% I think that, and then during the meet and greets, you can just tell they're more like me. You know what I mean? They have an eyebrow missing. You know what I mean? There's, you know what I mean? They have an eyebrow missing. You know what I mean? There's, you know what I mean? It's something's going on.

They have a walk, you know what I mean? Or a limp or something. You know what I mean? There's something going on where they're like, oh, this is my people. For sure. I don't get like shirt-tucker Asians, you know what I mean? Like, oh, I'm an accountant.

Yeah, but what Joe Koi has in his favor is that like Filipinos just get behind other Filipinos. Like a thousand percent. Like wherever Joe Hoyas I can promise you. Would Joe Hoy come on here? Yeah, he's got it a couple of times. Yeah, all right. But 100% of the Filipinos in whatever town he's at,

they're going to be at his show. Yeah, I think the Asians that are done at the art podcast are the ones I liked. All Filipinos probably. No, I'm hyper-beliamant. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Like, we know we got Aquafina. We got um oh Yes, you know, we've got the ones that you know Ronnie Chang and my buddy. Yeah, we love that guy. Yeah, so

Lanes yeah, he loves to complain that We've got issues we play ball together sometimes. I love Ronnie basketball. Yeah, that's hilarious Yeah, you can't be good. He's all right. Really. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I would love to play him in the sporting event I think just a sporting event you're gonna lose. I would love to take him in a match of some sort. Yeah, yeah, but um Yeah, but he's in that new movie Megan. He fucking kills it. You done movie was surprisingly good. It's so funny in it Yeah, it's a good. Yeah, it's good. I like it. Yeah, it's campy and funny. It's a good, I want to see it done.

Yeah, I didn't like cocaine bearer. I didn't see it. Wait, really? I didn't like it. We watched it together. Yeah, we are. I drifted. Wait, that's a reason.

So you guys still like hang out outside. When he comes over at night, we watch movies and... Wow, this is the weirdest shit I've ever, I've never, I don't think I talked to any of my exes. Really? I don't think I talked to any of my exes. Really? And you guys literally talk every week. 10 years, we were together, a decade. No, I get that.

Yeah, and also I view her as family. Yeah, you know, like her mom and her son. He's really close to my family. Her family, yeah, so. I think it's just different when I think we nailed the friendship down. That's what we didn't our relationship. I hear that. I'm not trying to find.

Yeah. Why are you trying to find cocaine bear? Colcan bear finishing. No, I don't want to look cocaine bear, you know. Why do you get so down, Bobby? Yeah. I think because I don't have anybody. You're gonna find someone.

All right. You come to New York. We're gonna find you someone. Really? Yeah. You're the only guy, that's on my side. I'm on your fucking side. No, I can tell when I was at the cellar a couple really yeah, you're the only guy. That's on my side. I'm on your fucking side No, I can tell when I was at the seller a couple times that you're I can tell you're good to you're on your on my fucking side and and

Well, we're gonna find you someone and I think that you and Mark should go on tour together We might promise yeah, we will some it would kill it. You could double the audience really yeah, that's what like I don't think we have a big crossover though. Yeah, but no, you wouldn't, like, when we played Phoenix Saturday night, I could probably sell maybe 1500 seats, but we sold 4,000 seats together. That's amazing.

You know what I mean? And it's like when you're together, you know what I mean? It just, there's, believe it or not, there's probably a faction of people. I mean, even the meeting grids, I've had people go, I just wanna take a footer with Bobby. And then I've had many guys go,

can I just do one with Andrew? Okay. And I don't think I personally, because those are his fans. But they all come out, you know, I mean, to support their guy. And then there's a lot of cross, probably mostly cross. But then we have our individual, like we've had people where whiskey ginger t-shirts, I've had people where tiger belly t-shirts,

and you get a cross, and we're pooling our resources together to, you know, I mean, do this thing. So I think it's beautiful. Who goes on first and said, do you switch it up? Every other, yeah. That's smart. It sucks.

Why? Because, you know, when you do a podcast with somebody that's really good, it's just hard. Yeah, but that's good. You want someone to make, you know, when you do a podcast with something that's really good, it's just hard. Yeah, but that's good. You want someone to make, I mean, I bring Gary Veter to open my shows and he's so fucking funny. It's like, when you have someone who's that,

he's a little fucking kind at that time. But, I mean, we're literally, all he cares about is, like, he just wants to get his 25 minutes over with so we can get a good meal. Like, all he does is like scan restaurant. We're in Phoenix and I'm sick as, I'm dying. I'm so sick and I'm sick, I'm dying, I'm so sick. I should have canceled the gigs, but I'm so sick. A flu or something?

I had some, yeah, I was just soup. I'm doing this, luckily, this is how I- Peter or Stand-Up Live. This was last year's Stand-Up Live. Yeah, yeah. And I'm so sick for the shows, I should have canceled them, but I was like, but I'm also like looking back, I'm like, I don't like, I won't cancel really.

So I'm doing the shows and just collapsing in the couch. He's laughing at me. I'm so fucking sick. I'm getting up and I'm like, I remember I over, you ever overpour tea? And then you pick it up and you're like, oh fuck, and I'm burning my hand. I'm like, ah, ah, and he's just pointing and laughing at me. And then all he does as I'm dying sick

on the fucking couch, he's just like, we were supposed to go to Pizzeria Bianco. That's a great place. Oh, the best Pizzeria. Yeah. I know, but West Coast. I'm literally hanging on by a threat. I'm like, I'll fucking pay for you to go there.

I'm dying, you prick. Bianco's the fucking best, bro. Is that your favorite pizza? No, it's great. It's great. But it's not Z-best on. New Haven Pizzer's the best pizza. I hate it's great. It's great. But it's not the best on. New Haven pizza is the best pizza. I hate to say it.

It's Phoenix? No, Connecticut. In Connecticut? It's the best pizza in the country. I mean, did New Haven get a Netflix documentary? Did the pizza re Bianco? I'm telling you, like, Pepe's and Sally's and all this. What's that restaurant show that we like?

Chef's table. Chef's table. It's good. Did four episodes on pizza rears, and one of them's fucking Bianco. I'm gonna go there. I also love those cook, I watch all those cooking shows,

even though like Bobby Flay, I saw him at the next game the other day, and I was like, fucking Bobby Flay. And yeah, I know, there's something about, but like that show is literally just, if you ever watch it,

it's literally one judge is like an executive chef, and the other judge is just a chick he's fucking. I'll be like, and the chef at Nobu and a young actress with a dream. We all know him. Yeah, yeah. He's, and then shop, I love shop, I love all those cooking.

Just mindless where you realize all these chefs are the most damaged fucking people. They all have gang tattoos. The chefs really are like... They're artists. They're artists. Yeah, they're madmen. I love them.

But they're so good. I mean, you can tell when you're at a great restaurant. Yeah. Let me ask you this. Sure. So, let's suppose you were dating a girl for 10 years. Yeah. Okay, and everyone knows.

Uh-huh. Like, we're a public. Yeah, but they were a public too. I know, but just hear me out, okay. And 10 years, and your friends are liking her on Raya, wanting to date. Oh, like my friends are liking her, you mean? Yeah, you're matching on Raya.

Yeah, that would be difficult. It's not difficult. Don't you think that that's our boundary that they shouldn't cry? I don't think you should be friends with them. Ooh, interesting. Why, name names. Oh, I will.

Who? We can believe him. We can believe him. Oh, come on, we're not gonna be. Yeah, I will, I will believe him. All right, well, fucking believe him, all right. He's been on our podcast once or twice. Who are we talking about?

There's a several. Ken John. Oh my God. What the hell? Ken John. Okay, I met him a long time. I did Jim Norton's radio show with him, like years and years ago.

And I was like, hey, do you want to take a picture with him? I was like, oh, no, it's all right. And they were like, take a picture with him. And I was like, and then he thought it was like some fanboy. I was like, I don't give a shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And who, any other?

S***, who else? Oh, what's the, what's the black guy's name? Um. What? Hold on, I got this one right here. He had his own talk show. You're not really friends with him. But I started with him.

I've known him for 20 years. Yeah. Have him do the podcast. And confront him. Confiron him. Right. I just find it to be weird behavior. That's all.

Well, you know, we don't match. I actually match or talk or anything you see that they like you Yeah, and then you don't reply back Yeah, because comics are just out of my thank you And thank you for having that boundary. Yeah, I'll never did another comic I don't think it's a thing so no never no, it's it's not it's just not it's not smart What that what's that like because I know your ex was also like a comic Sarah's a standup. Like what is the dynamic there when? Well, I think in your case, you know, you were dating somebody that was like at your level.

Mm-hmm. Right? Sure. The hard part is when you're dating somebody that's just started. Right? Yeah. Imagine like never do that. Yeah, imagine somebody like I'm doing open mics, but you're like attracted to them and you like them.

You know, at one point, there's gonna be lines that are crossed and you're gonna be like calling, or giving them advice or calling somebody for a gig or you have to have them open for you. Yeah, that's, I think, that's hard. Both being headliners is important or both being lower is important You know like if you're if one of yeah the opening for the other person sure it's nice, you know

But like it's not it's not healthy. Yeah, healthy. If you'd have a power dynamic like that like a I don't think that's smart but Yeah, I would never do it again Not that it wasn't good. Yeah, good times, but I just think it's not No, I just think it's not. No, I just think two headshots in a relationship can lead to trouble. I think that's, you know.

So tell me, you want to promote your dates? Yeah, Birmingham, Memphis, Nashville, Portland, Maine, Mash and Tucket, Connecticut. I think that's Mohican Sonner Fox, was I don't even fucking remember. Lots of stuff coming up. I said Memphis, right? He had Nougat, Knoxville, Denver, Santa Fe,

San Antonio, Houston, all over the South and a ton of stuff. I can't remember all of it, but ton of stuff coming up. Sam, I hear things on the road and getting people. It was consensual. OK. No, I want to say a compliment.

I want to go, you're really on the rise. Oh, thank you. You're like, no, I'm being real. And you're like the future, you and Mark, and that generation. You guys are so good. Thank you, man. And inspires me to write. And it inspires me to keep going.

It's just a pleasure to have you here, man. Dude, I love seeing you, I love doing this, and you're one of the funniest, truly. Thank you, buddy. Give Sam a real round of applause. Love you so much. Thanks, thank you. Bye, bye. وقالت بمتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في المتحرق في الم