TigerBelly - Sam Morril & The Toyota Camry Hookup

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

Sam Morril returns to TigerBelly, and Bobby brings the beef. We chat café trauma, wenches, celebrity beefs, kind people, Asian gangs, White community, Karl Lamone, roof Koreans, and overspending on Sim City.  Stop putting off those doctors appointments and go to www.zocdoc.com/belly to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Nothing makes you more of a legend than a little Bluechew. Discover your options at www.bluechew.com! And we’ve got a special deal for our listeners: As always, get your first month of BlueChew FREE Just use promo code BELLY at checkout and pay five bucks for shipping Use code TIGERBELLY at www.monarchmoney.com in your browser for half off your first year. That’s 50% off your first year at www.monarchmoney.com with code TIGERBELLY.

Hello, sleepers. This is Gilbo to tell you something very important. It's your last chance to cop the brand new merch. Head over to www.slepkingdom.com to get yours today. We got our brand new vintage wash teas or athletic shorts and our throwback tea from 2016, the Slep King Tea. Guys, head over to sleptkingdom.com to grab yours today. Once again, this is your last chance. Hey, y'all. I'm going to be in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, October 10th and 11th. at the Milwaukee Improv. I've never been there before. Check it out.

And also I'm going to be in Portland, Oregon for one night. I'm going to be at the Spirit Mountain Casino, November 8th. But Kim Cottrell and her have beef. Yeah. I hate Kim Contrell, but... Do you? Why? You guys used to fuck?

No, it's so many... It's a long story. Why? You hate Samantha from Sex? Yeah, yeah. I love that Bobby is such random beefs with me. It's incredible. No, but she fucked me over.

She treated me like shit one time. What? How did she treat you like shit? Years ago, I did... Are we rolling right now? We're opening with your beef? I love this. I don't have any beef.

She was just, I've worked with people, and then they've kind of treat me bad, and then I have these deep, you know what I mean, long-lasting resentments. Yeah. It's her, Brooke Shields is another one. I have a long, deep resentment towards. It's all famous white women.

These older, famous white women. Oh, man, I'll fucking gouge their eyes out, man. I'll fucking crush for shape. Bobby just says beef with sex symbols from my name. Don't get me started. Don't get me started on Denise Richard. Yeah, I know. I have PTSD when I watch Blue Lagoon

So she's mean too Didn't she have like a postpartum thing That was a big I read the Agassie book and he was like In a polite way it was like She's fucking nuts Remember she picked her boogers and she ate it in the car Are you serious?

Yeah Papa Rossi took a photo of her Picking her nose and she ate the booger That was a Seinfeld plot It was? Maybe it was a Seinfeld episode It was a Seinfeld episode Yeah, but Well, which beef do you want to talk about?

Dude, you tell me. Kim Cottrell. Yeah, why do you beef with Kim Cottrell from Sex and the City? So I did a commercial for her for a Joe Pitca commercial where it was me and Eric Stone Street. Oh, yeah, I like that. Yeah, yeah. So Eric and I... He's the one who seemed really gay, but he's not gay.

He's not gay at all. He's a fuck machine. Wow. Yeah, what? What? What? Well, you and Samantha and Eric's three fuck fuck machine. In one commercial.

Yeah. It was a pepper. commercial and no it wasn't Joe Pickett it was Michael Bay. Oh the Michael Bay once that's another beef. That's another that's another that's another

no me and Michael are good but we're best but we're best beef they used them of beef. We're good no Michael no Michael I invited me the Thanksgiving remember Michael's one called Bobby to invite him Thanksgiving and Bobby was like I can't I'm with a girl yeah you're still pissed about Pearl Harbor

that movie it's slanted one way Oh, that was, okay. So anyway, so I had never really acted before. This is in the 90s. Wow. And so there was a scene where Kim Cotrell was in a bathtub.

Yeah. And me and Eric are towel boys. So I brought in towels, but the gag was the towels are stacked up. So I'm carrying like 16 towels. All right. And I'm kind of, you know, coming in. And so I walk into this bathroom, and I hear cut. And Michael goes, what are you doing, man?

I go, what do you mean? He's like, I can't see your face, man. The light. You got to put your face in the light, man. And I go, I had no idea what that meant. Now I can do it. Yeah. Now I can feel the light.

You know what I can feel the light. I know where light is. I have access to my peripheral vision. This is crazy. You're getting scolded by my mind. Michael Bay for a towel commercial. And the commercials for Pepsi, though? Yeah.

Oh, okay. Right. So then I go, I'll do it again, right? And then he goes, I didn't do it. And he goes, what are you doing? And I go, well, the towels are my face, you know what I mean? And I don't know how to, you know what I mean? Yeah.

She comes behind the camera, he tries to adjust my, it took 25 times. Oh, no. Yeah, it was bad. Damn. Were the towels blocking your face? Yes. Oh. So I had to kind of put them in a way where the camera and then the lights hitting me,

but also not look in the camera. It was like a whole... And Kim Cottrell's getting pissed to you? Is she... Yeah, could now the water's getting colder. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Her nipples got a little harder.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's getting colder and colder. Was she naked? No, she was wearing a bathing soup. And also there was suds, I think. Oh, okay. Yeah, what is this? This one, right? Did they cut me out of it?

I think you're cut out of it. Is Stone Street in it? No, I think there's comments of you, people asking where you are, though. Yeah, I think I was cut out. Yeah, I was cut out of it. Damn. Yeah. Wow.

Wow. That was it, though. Yeah, so she's sitting there for, like, three hours. She's just churning. In that, about that, right? Yeah, what's the football theme of that? Was there football players in there? Cat, I didn't see it because I was cut out of it.

Anyway, anyway, got to the point where at the end of the night, me and Eric are just standing there, and she goes to Eric, and she goes, you have a very big future in this business. Right? Oh, man. And then she comes to me, I'm not kidding you. She comes to me, logs eyes with me, and she stares at me, and she stares at me,

and then she just walks away. Wow. Yeah, and then Eric kind of looks at me and goes, I'm sorry, man, you know. And I go, I'm done. I'm cooked. Damn, that's like a Stephen King movie. Yeah, yeah.

Like, you're going to be huge. You're going to work with Andrew Santino for the rest of your life. It's going to be brutal, dude. This is 1998, 98, 99. I don't know what the year was, but, and then Brooke Shields is the same thing where I was on the other gay guy on a lot of him.

She's like, you're going to be huge. It's like, you're, suck where she just wasn't she would you know I was a serious regular on a pilot yeah she just wouldn't talk to me or you know acknowledge my existence damn and it felt hurtful that is fucked up what the hell so I mean those are the two you don't have any beefs do I have beefs no I've repaired them all I feel like they're all fine I mean too I think I have to yeah that's that should be Bobby you have a lot of beefs I feel like you know what hurt I do I too I had one, when I was a young comic, I was in Milwaukee, and I'm a huge Knicks fan, obviously.

I'm wearing the head of it. But, you know, I'm playing the Milwaukee Comedy Cafe, terrible fucking room. Great room. But it sounds like a nightmare. I'm hanging out afterwards. Is there coffee? What is it? What's going on here?

Is there coffee? No. I don't, you know, why? A hot press. I didn't call it a cafe. What the fuck? Yeah, yeah. But afterwards, they were like, you know, Latrell Spreewell drinks at that bar every night across the street?

Yeah. And I was like, oh, Spree was like my favorite player. He's the best. And she goes, he's there every night if you want to go in. I was like, not every night. We go in. He's fucking there. Wow.

Just drinking. And I was like, holy shit. Spree was my guy. So I went over to him and I was like, hey man, I'm, I'm a huge fan. I'm a huge fan. He's like, all right. And I was like, can I buy you a drink? He goes, I have a drink.

And I'm like, uh. Sam, are you a big comic at the point at that point? No. What are you walking up to a fucking athlete like that? I was hypnotized. He was a fucking hero of mine. I don't know. I don't do this.

I was an elevator with my biggest hero of all time. Yeah. Athlete. Who? Tyrion. Oh, who is it? Tierie Henri. Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.

Who is he? Soccer player. Yeah, yeah. French team. Cat. What? Cat's on the rise opening up for Theo Vaughn at the Honda Center. Ooh.

He just got it. No one. Yeah. Ooh. So what do you say to him? To who? Henri Henry Henry, yeah. Kiri Henri.

Nothing. And he's, I have a fucking framed photo of him in my house, in my room. By the way, why is there a chicken in your bathroom? Yeah, I was. What was that? It's not alive. Is there a camera in there? No, no, no.

I look at that like, wait a second. I'm not having a good dick day. You know, my side job is I'm a taxidermy. Do you really? You don't know that? Yeah, I can see you doing that. Yeah, yeah. I have a panned upstairs.

I had a bad moment with it. So that was like a minor moment that was rough. And then I see Spree and I was like, hey, you should come to the comedy club. I said to come to the comedy club. You said that day? Yes, I said the Spreewell. Oh, it's embarrassed me. I know.

And he said, don't count on it. And then I went away like, oh, my God, that was brutal. And then some other guy, I was with a woman from the comedy club. And she goes, her boyfriend goes, I work for Bleacher report. Let me handle this. I'm like, what does that mean? I don't even know that means. It's not the FBI, motherfucker.

And he went over to him. And I just see Spreewell go, get the fuck. I got off easy Oh my God And then And then the late The bartender from the She came to the show

The next night The bartender was like Nah he's like a cool guy He's in a bad mood So she was like texting him She goes I'm texting Spreewell about you

Like it was a good It was a good show I'm with the comedian From the other night He put on a good show And Sprie wrote Oh yeah I remember that guy

Really good guy That's what he wrote back Oh Lying bastard And I was like what And she goes I think he's just trying to fuck you I don't think he cares about me

And she's like yeah Maybe Yeah yeah But I met him years later And he was a great guy I had a sports show and he was a guest on it and he was so nice.

Oh, really? Yeah, but he was the only guy that, like, I would do gags before the interviews where I'm like, can you, like, fuck with me? And he was the only guy who wouldn't fuck with me. Yeah.

And I think it's because he really did choke his coach out. So he's like, I don't want to be a pretend dick because I actually choke someone. Yeah, yeah. But like any other, like I had like C.C. Sabathia From the Yankees on

and he would be like he would fuck. Like, other guys would mess with me. Wow. And he went to a sports show called. It was called people talking sports. It was on the Knicks network It was, now, were you on the rise then, or were you a nobody? I was a nobody, dude.

I just had a sports show, and it was fun. You have a great radio voice. Thank you. You don't think you do? I'm waiting for the insult. No, there's no one. And a face for radio. Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, this was, look at that awful sweater. What the fuck was I doing? Oh, look at that camera on the rapper, and I made Anthony DeVito dresses. Do you get that at McDonald's that's, so what's? That's a bad. I'll take the hamburger. That is, like, 1930s French prison. It's a terrible.

What's a terrible? Oh, look, dude. I took a risk. I took a fucking risk, Bobby. That shirt's good. What is that? All Saints? No, I don't know what it is it. I don't know. What is it? What is it? What is Whacomaria, huh? Oh, it's Zara. Oh, all right. Yeah, this is stretchy. I like the stretchy. Yeah. Camera on the rapper was a guest. That guy fucking ruled. Oh, I love Cameron. Hey, Ma. Oh, my God. Yeah. He was so, he's His name is Cameron? You don't know the song. Welcome to New York City. No, no, no. No, he doesn't. Are you fucking kidding?

New York Is that what it is? Welcome to New York City Welcome to New York City No what you know that song New York What's that one? Columptree Jungle

Alicia Keyes Is that Alicia Keyes? I know that one Is Alicia Keyes camera? No Dude he's the fucking man Dude I don't know things I don't need to know

You know You know I ran into I was I don't know I'm about to start another beef I'm about to start another beef I'm about to start a Another beef. Who is it?

But I was on the plane flying from Cleveland back to L.A. Sunday. Okay. And there was a comic for the last 25 years who I've been trying to, like, say hi-do and talk to. And he's a little... I'm going to get to it. Okay. And he... I don't know why I did that.

I knew the story. I literally... I know, but this does feel like a relationship thing where, like, a woman's like... And then, I'm like, just fucking get to the ending. Just fucking get to it. Yeah. Sorry. I don't know why I did that.

Should I cut the fat out? A little bit. Or I'll go. So it was. Maybe you can resent this story too, Bobby. It was Corey Holcomb. I know he's very funny. I've never met.

So funny. Yeah. I've always been a fan of Corey Holcomb. Yeah. And for the longest time, I would go, what's not, man? And he doesn't recognize you. Not always he's recognizing. There was a point where he wouldn't even like, he wouldn't even look my direction, really.

I would go, what's up, dude? And he would just kind of walk by and stuff. Damn. Do you think he knows who you are? So, no. What? Well, I'm not. That was like a back.

I was just saying. Yeah, yeah, you just punched me in the phone. No, I don't think he does, clearly. Would you say that to Theo? You fucking arrogant piece of shit on the ride. See, when these young people go on the rise, they start attacking their fucking people underneath. He's a funny guy.

I like him. Yeah, he's a very funny man. But, you know, so then it got to the point where I was like, you know, I'm never even going to try, right? So I'm on the plane and he goes, what's up, man? Like, he was on the flight. And I, and also going to say it when you have like,

I'm not going to talk to him again, in my mind, I'm like, oh, you know what I mean? I'm never going to say hi to him now. I'm done with him. Yeah, yeah. But then when he goes, what's up? I go, what's up, man? He said hi to you?

Yeah. I got way more excited. What? Yeah, yeah. I go, what's up? Corey! My man, you're doing gigs? You know what I mean?

I did that one of those things. Because he fucking big-timed you and then finally gave you a little. He gave me a lot, actually. It was almost as if we were like, you know what I'm in the same platoon in Vietnam. Yeah. Like an old friend. Which side were you on?

The winning side. I know the winning side. I know. I was there hamburger. We lost that one. Hamburger Hill. We fucking sucked. Damn, dude.

Yeah. But, yeah. I love this guy. He's so talented. I love him for being nice to you. That's more important. Yeah, he was very nice. And then...

Is he from Chicago? I don't know. Catbird? With his history? I don't know. He had a white socks hat on. Oh, yeah. Oh.

He's from... He's from... He's from Chicago. Jesus Christ, Columbo. What was that? That was fucking smooth. None of us caught that. That was good.

Wow. Yeah, we did not catch that. I guess we are wearing our hats. We weren't our hats, yeah. Yeah. That was smooth. You know, there's a group of comics that are not in our club scene. Yeah.

And I'm huge, like, you know, like, D.R. Davis, I never really so funny, great actor. You know, everyone's going to rattle off. black dudes, right? No, no, Gary Owen. Black guy, basically. Yeah, basically, but it's like, they don't you're never on lineups with them. Yeah. Right? They're never, they don't call in at the

regular club night. Say what you want, I go on chocolate Sundays all the time. I love Ruben's show. Yeah, try to pop it. Oh my God, Mark and I did that Netflix Roast the Year thing. Oh, yeah. And we were running... Speaking of black shows. The timing was kind of crazy.

We were running... We were running the set into the ground because you just got to run the jokes and we did the two shows we bombed on were the chocolate sundaes. Yeah. You all bombed the chocolate sunda? Yeah, we just did roast jokes. We were trying. We weren't even doing...

I think we did stand-up. We would have been fine. But they're just like, what? We're just like, and here's something... Here's a Luigi Mangione joke, and they're like, what? It was just a pie. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, no, it was bad. I remember I did a black show at... You ain't got to say it like that, but go ahead.

Well, you know what? Being a representative of your people, what should I say? Kind people, great people. So I did a kind show in front of kind people. Now, do you know now the reference? I mean, if I say it to people, do we know? They're going to know. Kings and Queens is what we do.

All right. So I did a show a bunch of kings and queens. There we go. Yeah, yeah. King Henry was there. I'm sick of King. I'm sick of here. You're sick of a king.

My friend goes, my friend goes, King. I am sick of it. Yeah. I had a cashier at Walgreens call me King. I'm like, I'm buying stool soft. You have to do fucking King with everything. Have a good day, King. All right, King.

Have a good one, King. Yeah. I'm over it. During the land of Kings and Queens, I wouldn't even be a king. I would be the guy that was, like, cleaning that fucking toilet. None of us would be kings. What would you be in, back then?

Oh, you'd be dead. I think I would be dead. Or a we'd be like a weasel guy who fucking. You'd even give me a ticket. Yeah. I think we'd both be dead, to be honest. No, you, I know what? You're a wench.

What the hell? Wow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What? You back then, look at your face. What? What? I don't care.

I don't care, dude. I'm done. I'm done with her, all right? You'd be a fucking wench. Wait, so what would you be? Someone who does. No, he plays a horn. Wait, what?

Okay. What happened? Oh, like the... I can do the introduction. Oh, like a bugle. I like that. I'm power adjacent. I kind of like that.

Yeah, that's all right. Bobby introduced the room. Oh, what's the... you chat GPT that yeah yeah you guys really treat him like his first fucking podcast ever you know I'm not gonna

okay you know because that I don't like the way you did that try to use a nice graphic that was really nice it was good you have so much help here I know yeah I know we have Sam Merrill

Hey how are you Chappelle Lacey Hi Catbird Hi and is we good and I'm your host Bobby Lee

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Um, Chappelle, have we talked about London? What about it? We talk about it? What are you, what are you trying to talk about? Sam, let me say something. I'll ask you a question, right? Sure, yeah. If you get somebody laid.

Whoa. Whoa. Yeah. Did you get laid in London? I don't kiss and tell. Yeah. But let me know, I'm just. You got, how do you get him laid?

How do you get, what? He paid. Like, I ain't got no game, bro. Oh, I'm sorry. Maybe I got it wrong. Excuse me. Okay, something's happening. I can just already tell me. Me and Bobby had sex.

Wow. Dude. We said it. Who was the bottom? Who was the bottom? You want this cut out? So you guys, you gig together. No, I'm not just a gig.

Not just a gig. So I'm in London. Can we talk? No, or no. I made out with someone. She made out. He might out with somebody. Okay, good.

Cute lady? Very hot. Yeah. Super hot. Wow. So, you know, I'm in London. You know what I mean? I find out that Chappelle's in London.

Me and Andrew doing a gigantic show at the Ovali. Wembley. Wembe Ovu Arena. Yeah. A lot of people came out, you know, and I go, you know what? I'll get Chappelle on the show. Do a little guesty guest, right? I offered.

That's nice. He offered a guest. Yeah. I didn't ask. You did five minutes, seven minutes. That's pretty good. And you killed it. Wow.

And then based on that. you made out with a very beautiful woman. Did you do more than make-out or no? I don't do the whole sex before marriage thing. That's beautiful. Are you being real? Wait, what? What are you doing, Sam, for me, it's so nice.

I don't like the negativity that Bobbi. Oh, you think I'm bringing negativity? I'm just... You were being so kind. I think, you know... And Bobby, you just came in aggressive to my beliefs and my... Okay, let's switch gears then.

Can I see anything? Go ahead, Kat. I like the women ask permission here. It's a good energy to bring around. Something we could institute into the whole. Oh, my God. Well, I'm the wench of the... I still didn't even know what that means.

Google wench from medieval area. Please. Middemeval Times. I'll do the accent. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so I think to play devil's advocate, I think that Chappelle probably could have kissed a really pretty woman without the seven minutes.

Wow. But not that specific one. but you know what it does I will say it takes the ground work out if you're ready to hell are you joking that's you I think which one of them is me is much better look at the guy to the far left

that's a fucking rough looking yeah yeah that shift you do to the left that's you that's crazy yeah or you would be you think that you'd be a gypsy why I mean you think you're in the royal family I probably not but I can I can figure it Man, Bobby, why are you just bringing us all down, bro? Well, I don't know.

You said, you called her winch. You said, I can't get a beautiful girl. Excuse me? I didn't say that. Yes, you did. You said the only way I could get it is by doing seven minutes of stand-up comedy. Is that what I said, Sam? Is that what I said?

Well, you said, the comedy takes the ground workout, as we all know. You insinuated that he would not have gotten any ass if not for the bad friend. That's not what I'm saying. I didn't insinuation. I said you went there, okay? All I said was that it just happens to be that he did a set on my show and, you know, I mean, he got a woman

that was at my show, no? Also, though, he killed so hard that it improved the quality of your show, right? It actually made me angry that he killed my heart out there. Oh, yeah, as soon as I got on scene, he goes, what the fuck? It was 10,000 people, yeah.

Wow. That's awesome. 10,000's big, that's crazy. Yeah, I was like, you know what I mean? you're going to do that? Yeah. I thought you're going to like try experiment and do some new jobs or whatever.

Yeah, just pull up on phone 10,000. All right, guys, I'm just trying to say. Yeah, what else? Your local London material or something. The what else? Have you been to weather spoons? No, but you did kill.

But I, so then remember that one girl that was hanging out with us? Yeah. And you thought that I had a shot with her? Yes. No. No. Dog, I believed it.

You didn't make it happen? Why? Was she way out of your leave? She was way out of my league. I don't think that's me. I don't, Bobby. Yeah, but that's never stopped you before. You've been, you get hot chicks all the time.

Bobby, yeah, go ahead. I believed in you that night. Was she young? In her 30s, early 30s? That's pretty young. That's very young. Wait, wait, wait, that's young for who? Yeah, right.

For a man age? Just for normal people. You look good right now. You actually look like really, really good. Skin is glowing. What is going on here, man? But here's the thing, we all, we all, we all, we all, we all, we all, we all, we got to play a song, yeah, we gave you love, we gave you love, we gave you love. And you gave us anger. Yeah, you gave us anger. You called me a gypsy whore. Yeah, you called me a hor. You called me a retarded whore. Yeah, I heard retarded horror. There was retarded horror. All right. So why did, how'd you blow with this girl? What happened? Did we? How'd you blow? I didn't blow it. I didn't blow it. Did you make out with her?

No, Shemel made out after. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I did. But here's the thing. Listen, I thought, listen, I felt the chemistry. No. I thought the chemistry was there. There's verbal hints. There are verbal hints that I lock onto.

What are the verbal hints? Like, please stop. No means no. No, no, no. Don't think of the verbal hints, all right? No, because we went to a very nice restaurant that she recommended. You brought it out, too? Oh, yeah.

Yeah, we went. Everyone was there. Andrew is wild To take her to dinner What went wrong? Yeah, that seems like that she was a socialite A British socialite A British socialite

She was funny as fuck She was very funny too She was super funny But she was also Because she was funny Yeah Because she's a socialite Because she was beautiful

She was beautiful right Yeah Yeah yeah She had all the things In my mind I'm like Already it's like There's just no way I think he could close

Yeah he could have closed it because I saw her kiss him on the cheek and I was like, oh, he's got it. That's a friend. That's what social is. That's what European socialites do. Oh, yeah. Oh, if I take a kiss on the cheek,

I'm like, oh, I'm getting it. You're reading it wrong. No. You're reading it wrong. It's a friend zone move. That sucks. That's what I read. Thank you.

That's what I read. I do like that he saw a kiss in the cheek. He was like, dude, he's in. He's like, Bobby, you could be my brother. He's like, dude, this shit's going to fuck Bobby. Dude, you, so. But you. literally just called it, though.

Yeah, yeah. The kiss in the cheek is bruised. It's poison. It's nothing. It's poison. It's more like, bonjour. Your BFFs.

You know what I mean? That kind of thing. So you couldn't close in, uh... I can't close in one day. But you, I feel like you get laid after shows all the time. Wow.

Can I be honest with you? Be honest. In the amount of time I've done comedy since the 90s. After shows, I've probably been laid, and this is 30 years, four times. Wow.

That's crazy. I just can't, I'm so, Is that because you're too... I just typed in girls' 90s, Bobby Lee. Did you close the deal with her? Yeah, what about her? Yeah.

But did you... Were you like... I can't believe that's out on the internet. Were you intrigued by this woman because you were like, it's gonna be a tough one. The body language is crazy, by the way. I just want you to see. My body language?

Bro, look how far away you are. This fucking hand is like. Holy shit, is that actually you? Yeah, that's me. Oh, my God. Oh, I thought it was like a racist prank. I didn't know that was you. That doesn't even look like you.

Yeah, it does. That's me, dude. That's crazy. Yeah, it's 90s, yeah. Yeah, it's 90s of me. You look better now. You do look better now. Well, back then, that was a style, no?

What? Okay. I mean, back then, I would walk around, go, oh, that's good. She looks so uncomfortable. No, back to what Sam was saying, the Friends Zone thing, you literally called it because you said that. You said that.

You're like, I think it's a friend zone thing. Yeah. My instincts are right. And I literally said... But was she flirting with you at first or no? No. No. Bro, yes. He kissed you on the cheek.

He just said what that meant. You don't listen? British people are weird because they're like, they're very like socially flirty and they'll do the kiss on the cheek. And I'm, oh, right, love you to talk to light. Yeah, yeah. She also knows all these football stars. I know him. I know Benny White.

Football soccer? Yeah. Soccer football. And she's so, and she's like, oh, no, we're friends. You know, maybe so. Bang D'Ree later that night, dude. She was above my league, I think. Do you think there are women that are above your league?

Of course. There we go then. Do you believe that? No. Yeah, but I believe in you more than I believe in me. I'm that guy. No, I believe in my friend. I believe in me less than I believe in you.

Yeah, I don't believe in myself at all. Yeah, but that's how we all. Do you believe in yourself? Do you believe in yourself? Sometimes. Yeah. I mean, how's the dating going? I'm not dating right now.

Well, I'm single, but I'm not dating. Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm single. She was just got out of a marriage. Oh, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. Or good. I don't know.

It's good. It's good. Yeah. Is it good that you're out? I don't know. It's good that I'm out. Yeah. Are you in pain still or no?

No, no, I'm not in pain. No, I'm good. Are you alone? You wench? Yeah. Oh, the hell? You're not going on, you don't go on dates, though, at anything yet. No, I've been on a few dates, actually.

But they always want to get to know you, which I don't want them to know. Oh, you just want to smash. No, I don't want to smell. Sounds like it. Okay, you guys can talk about. This is not a stereotype. I've heard about men. You know what the problem with men is?

They just want to get to me. Is that really with the absolute life? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Women in their dating profiles, no men looking to just get to no one, okay? She's on a date with Justin Martindale. He's gay, by the way. No, we got.

Bobby, we got it. He is gay, by the way. That's crazy. So funny. Yeah, so they want to, they go, so what are your dreams and aspirations? Yeah, there's just a lot of like talkie, talky, like, you know, can I come to your show?

But what do you want? Just like, I want to, just, you know. Say it loud. No. Have you slept with anyone since the marriage? Yeah. Oh, good. Okay.

No, you can do that. Why did you do that face? I don't know, because me, I'm a little fucking, I don't know. It probably take me, after my, My ex and I broke out, I went celibate. Okay, well, now I'm a wench. What the hell? I was celibate for like three years.

Fuck off. Virgin. Dude, you're a virgin, dude. I'm not a virgin. I get down. I don't think you're doing, dude. I get down. Bobby, you don't think I get down?

Look at me. You feel the most asexual black guy I ever met. Bitch. Dude, Sam, he used to cheerlead. Did he really? In high school. Yeah, but those guys got chicks, dude. Are you sure?

I don't know, man. see them like, we're cheerleading. Bitch, I was never like that. You were it? No. You were the foundation. They needed you. Yeah, they needed.

Yeah, when the big black guys? Why is it got to be big black guys? Oh, one of the big kings and queens? I was like, yeah, thank you. I forgot the terminology. You know what I'm saying? The kind people. The kind people when they're, you know, women are attracted to me, bro.

No, no, that's not what I said. I'm just saying that you're not, you seem just like, okay, there are some comics that you meet. and I'm sure they're like hound dogs and you know what I mean and they could be very sexual but to me they read asexual

you know what I mean there is whoa that's impressive that's impressive that's amazing hey look at my digging those shorts all right

now did you ever drop anybody I mean no it was good bro yeah you never dropped one person nah I broke a girl's collarbone but yeah

but that was out of practice yeah I was just out here beating white more white girls bro Well, you're strong. No, I am strong, but like, yeah, you're right. All right, you got me figured out. I can't even front.

What? I'm a little, I, I, I've turned down sex. Yeah? Yeah. Have you ever turned down? Have I ever turned? Yeah, in my life, probably, but it was probably like, yeah, I can't locate that memory. Yeah, you can't?

I'm sure it's happened. I know, right? I'm not located. I'm reckless, dude. I mean, I got out of something, so I'm just, I'm reckless. Oh, right now you are? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, um, I'm,

What about you? Have you turned down sex? You know, I, um... Yeah, but it was Louie Anderson. His ghost. No, um... Yeah, I've turned it down. Yeah. That's beautiful.

Have you turned down sex? Yeah, I've turned it down. Of course, women turn it down all the time, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I turned it down. Well, did people just walk up to you? Hi, I'm a stranger. When you want to have sex? That kind of thing, or no?

All the time. Guys just hit on you all the time. No, no, no, I don't think they hit on me all the time. Yes, you're pretty. Thanks. Yeah. I mean, as a comedy store employee, you're probably one of the prettier ones. Thank you.

Did you say that out? Oh, you want to keep that in? It's so nice. What is happening right up? This is not a good idea. That's crazy. Why is that crazy? No, it's great.

Yeah, yeah. You're one of the better-looking employees at a club I go to? That's almost a compliment We have some characters there That's all I'm saying Some zany little characters You know what I mean It's like Fraggle Rock

Anyway I always use that reference And no one knows what it is Yeah You know what Fraggle Rock is? I know it's before my time I'm aware of what it is Yeah what is it It's a fucking show

Oh yeah yeah okay dude Don't get angry I'm angry That's the comments store employees Oh That's the cast photo Now it's fun Employing. Anyway, let me ask you. I was out the other day with a friend and it was somebody at this restaurant that was pretty attractive.

Like, oh, look how attractive that individual is. That's how I said it. That's very nice. He said, look at that sexy bitch. Yeah. No, I didn't say that. I go, yeah. And then my buddy was like, go talk to her. And I go, nah, I didn't. But is that something that you've ever done? Got, like, talked to a person at a ball? A stranger. No, you're at a restaurant. Not at a restaurant, but a bar. Yeah, we're at a restaurant. Would you do it at a restaurant? Restaurant's weird.

It's weird, right? Were they working? No, no, they were just a patron. Were they eating? You're supposed to just go out there? They just sat down, they ordered drinks. What do you say to her? I didn't say anything.

My buddy, we're on a different table, and my buddy was like, go say hi. And I go, I've never done that. I'm never going to do that. Still are sparkling. Yeah. Yeah, you didn't go. You said you've never done it.

I wouldn't do it in a restaurant. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's so hard to do it. If someone came up to me. A bar, yes. A bar invites that stuff. Yeah. Yeah.

Restaurants is weird. I'd feel like if you came up to me at a restaurant, I'd be like, who's this employee talking? Why, I look like a bus boy? What do you try to say? Yeah. You're now even for your... Yeah. Fraggle rock or whatever you're talking about.

One of the prettier bus boys. That was good. good one, George. Shut the fuck up, guys. Okay, guy? Good one, though. Yeah, yeah. What a zinger.

In a bar, I'll approach in a bar. Okay, let's talk about areas where you wouldn't, we wouldn't. Okay. Most places other than... Most places, yeah. Jim. Really?

Oh, my God. My friend dancing. Boot camp. We'd be on the subway, and he'd just be like, hey, how are you? And they'd be like, oh. Like, I'm with you.

Please stop doing this. Yeah, yeah. And he would just do it. In a trapped and closed space, it's a no-fucking-go. Funeral? I think go for it. Funeral? Afterwards, maybe.

Oh, after the... Well, there are parties afterwards? Everyone's vulnerable after. Oh, they've been done crying. Yes. After's okay at the fucking... When they're bearing the body, no. Yeah, not during the body drop.

So what would you say? Like, let's say I'm a girl. I'm on a funeral, right? We're at the after thing. And I'm just like... Life is short, man. You got to go for it. And I go, yeah?

And I go, yeah, what do you mean? It's just you know You never know what could happen One day you're here, the next you're not Yeah Are you hitting on me? No, no, I'm just saying Anything could happen

Yeah, anything could happen, yeah You know, anything Yeah, my husband just got Your husband died Yeah, that's the funeral we're at Oh These little fucked up, Sam, that you're hitting on me right now Yeah, Bill

You're wearing a pretty revealing outfit I mean, you're kind of asking for it a little bit You have a nice rack you seem kind of horny for a funeral weird you're good at that

I would fumble I would fumble so I'm not good I'm not good I'm not good That's funny That's good That's a good

That's a good angle Yeah What you're wearing A revealing Outfit angle No I think you should Yeah I think you gaslight

You gaslight a widow at her funeral And you say like You're kind of a whore And I think it works Maybe that works Maybe

Yeah yeah You suggest you don't say Yeah yeah You tell her she wants Have you hit on anybody like a guy ever? Oh yeah, I've approached guys at bars for sure. Really? Yeah. What's your

opener? Yeah. Hey. That's good. That's all the guy needs, honestly. And then women need more. I feel like I got to make him laugh. Yeah, here's the thing, because sometimes my friends go up and they will ask for drinks from a guy. They'll just be like, oh, will you buy me a drink? Really? Yeah. And I can't do that. I don't know. I feel bad. I feel like I have to like make out with you

now if I, you know, the drink means you That's great. We need more women like this with low self-esteem. I feel like, you know, you can't just go out. Don't you think? Isn't that? Yeah, it is kind of crazy. But maybe, okay, yeah, maybe, yeah. Would you? How many drinks have you bought for women before? Oh, many.

Yeah. Really? And I've had that happen. Where they'll go, can you buy me a drink? And you've done it. Yeah, and I buy it to them. And then they go, buy it. And they just leave.

And you're like, what the fuck? Yeah, that's happened all of them. Yeah. Yeah, of course that happened. Really? Of course, yeah. You get played, sure. You get played, yeah.

I get also, I don't know about you, but, you know, since I was in a relationship with Kalila for so long, and so then in the beginning of- I didn't know that. I didn't know that. That's how fucking nice people, kind people, come off.

You guys are like, you guys are like a model for how to stay friends. I mean, it's crazy. Yeah, yeah, perfect. But afterwards, you know, I hooked it with, and then, you know, sometimes they'll hit me up because they need money.

it's called prostitution Bob No like you know I can't pay my rent This and that Can you help and I help them No you don't Yeah I do

How much are we talking Now okay so yeah Is that bad? I don't think How much money I don't think that's good What's the most you've ever given One of these people?

A grand That's not awful That's not awful It's yeah Man give me a grand No no No but No but it depends on

What the text is Or what the message What you say You'll straight a girl that you met that I hooked up with maybe once or something. And you will buy it and you will fucking pay their rent.

Yeah, I feel like it's like, you know what I mean? It was so disgusting hooking up with you that I think you owe me money. In my mind, that's what it is. Yeah, but that's your self-roving. That's not good. That's not good. Yeah, right? Yeah. That's me? They never say that.

I mean, it's true, but it's also inset. That's crazy. Okay, was the sex good? Yeah, I mean, you know, can I be honest? I don't want to talk about sex because, you know, the last couple that we've done is a lot of sexuality. Yeah, this is fine, though. Yeah, yeah.

But I'm asexual. I know, yeah, you're great. Would you ask then? Was the sex with the woman who's demanding money from you good is the question. When we spell it out, probably not, I think. Right, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't, you know, can I be honest with you? I don't, I can't judge, like, I've never seen, like, I'm doing a special, so now I'm looking back at sets that I do, but I've never, I've never done that before.

I don't really reflect on, I have no, like, opinion about a, what my style is or how well I did or sometimes you know I had one recently I was like I was bad oh yeah yeah yeah yeah it was really bad a bad yeah yeah she was not happy it she said she said I'm not happy yeah yeah yeah really yes what happened was I met her at a bar and we I brought her home and she she she grabbed the condom and she was like what the fuck is that and I was like a condom and she was like, you think I'm dirty? And I said, no. Like, obvious.

In my head, yes, obviously. So she's like, you don't get to fuck me if you wear that. And I was like, whoa. I thought it was a strong argument. Yeah. And I didn't wear one. Wow. And I did not last long.

And immediately, she was like, call me a car. Oh, my God. Yeah, I probably wouldn't have. I probably would turn it down. Really? I probably wouldn't. I should have. If you're going to force me to not use a condom, yeah.

I'm going to live on the edge of you. I can't live on the head like that. The way. she forced me to not put it on, dude. I was like, this sucks, this unprotected sex. You feel like you were a sinner? And the worst part is right after she said, well, I called her car. She goes, what's my name?

And I was like, fuck. Oh. We were both hammered. And I said, this is a true story. I said, Jasmann. Not Jasmine. I said Jasmond. And she goes, what kind of name is Jasmine?

And I was like, what's your name? And she goes, Janessa. And I was like, I wasn't even that far off. And then I said, what's my name? And she didn't know mine either. Oh, what you should have done is incorporated the name into a drunk talk afterwards. I should have. So what's my name?

You go, right? And she goes, like, how do you spell your name again? Yeah. That's a good way. But then I called her a car and I screenshot it to her. And she texts me not even an Uber black and wrote, and this text caught me. She sounds like a bully, bro. She's a bully.

But this text made me laugh. She wrote, comes in 10 seconds. then calls me a Toyota camera. And I was like, that's pretty fun. That's so funny. You got to see her again. You got to see Josamon again. Dude, I like her.

And that's how I met your mother, Jasmond. This podcast is sponsored by Monarch. Monarch, Monarch, Monarch, Mokker. Feel organized and confident in your finances with Monarch Money. an all-in-one personal finance tool that brings your entire financial life together in one clean interface

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Wow. That would make me want to stay inside, bro. Yeah, now it's funny. I don't give a shit. Okay, let me ask you this. If you met a girl, okay, you made a girl. okay, you met a girl and you fly to Hawaii

Okay So you did this I did this This is one of my favorite stories Hypothetical Hypothetically You made her girl Right

Yeah You fly to Hawaii To see her You fly together from L.A. to Hawaii Right How long in the relationship is this? You met her for like

A couple weeks And then you're like Let's go to Hawaii And then yeah you go to Hawaii You're bold dude I know I've done it You're bold And she goes

yeah, I'm not attracted to you. In Hawaii? In Hawaii, yeah. And you already had slept together? No. Oh, no, yeah, yeah, I have. I slept with her one time, and then when we're in the hotel room, she goes, this is the reason why I got on Wegovi, I mean, whatever, the weight, the weight drug.

Oh, okay. And she goes, I'm not attracted to you. I think you're fat. Oh, my God. She took the first class flight to Hawaii. Yeah. Yeah, fuck her, dude. And then on the way back, she wanted first class.

Would you fly her back? I would, you should sit in first class and you should put her in the last row. Wow. That's what I did. Did you really? Well, she wanted first class and I said, no, you get coach.

Good for you. There you go. Yeah, that's hurtful. What would you do? How many days were you guys there? Two days. It was the worst two days of my life. And what do you say after she says

I'm not attracted to you? She went to sleep and I went to the balcony and I was like, should I jump off this? It was literally a consideration. Wow. I was so down. It was hurtful. I was so down.

I was having to sit. on the balcony and we're pretty high up I was gonna go, I just instantaneous I could die. Then I thought, oh well Chelsea's on Chelsea Handler's on Osamaic, maybe I'll just do that. Maybe.

Yeah, Kelsey saved your life. Yeah, she's saved my life. Kelsey looks great. Yeah, yeah. And then I thought and then the next way I was injecting and then I lost the weight. The next day you were injected? Maybe this girl saved my life.

Send her a picture and be like, what now, bitch? No, I don't do that? No, don't do that? No. No? You don't want to do that? I don't like that. She went on this vacation with you. That's happened to be twice in my life. Twice? In my life? Both in Hawaii? Yes. What? Twice.

Oh, that's my other favorite one too. This is how you test next group. Take her to like fucking Tacoma or something. Go that you're like, when you don't get a good trip until. La Beacques. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or Waco, because I've always wanted to see those, that grounds where that happened. Yeah, yeah. So, I'm a historian. It's a very romantic that way. But no, I won't do that again. I know.

Please don't. Yeah. No, because what? I said, please. Why are you going on vacation with girls you barely? know, though. That's my question. I mean, that's like a wait for a while. Because they had been women that had already made out with or had via sex with.

Yeah. And then they used the, you know, this is... That's not an immediate Hawaii trip. I agree. I was already going. I've never been... Oh, so for a gig? Yeah, or, yeah. Oh, so they just tagged along. I thought it was a straight of vacation. He wasn't already going. Yeah, for the, yeah, because one of them was the Tiger Belly show. Oh, okay.

Okay. All right. Well, she's tagging along. That's different than an intentional vacation. with someone else. No, you still can't take a first class ticket from someone. That's not cool. Yeah. I don't think so either.

I don't like it. I don't like it either. I fucking hate her, dude. Does it make you mad, Bobby? It makes me so mad enough to kill? But then I blocked, I blocked them immediately. Yeah, you have nothing. You blocked her?

Oh, yeah. I block them. Respect. Don't text me again, you know. Damn. Yeah. I've been pretty good. Did you block the person you, you, uh, paid their rent?

Did you block that person? I didn't pay their. Oh, yeah, they're an electrical bill. Electrical bill? What? ever pull you aside like what's happening yeah what do you do my accountant yeah clash of clans yeah you know what clash of clans is no you spend a lot of money on that i spent like ten thousand dollars what is that there's no way bro yeah yeah it's like a mobile video game and my

account was like you gotta stop dude what is this also when i wasn't doing well yeah he's like you're you know come on man we have a mortgage to pay sim city yes that was another one you're building a fake house and not house. What are you doing? Yeah, yeah. It got bad. So I don't do, I don't do in-app purchasey

games anymore. Yeah, it's a wild. Yeah, yeah. You've never spent money on a video game? No, I'm fucking 38, bro. I don't really play video games. They're too addictive. I can't, I don't have the willpower to

I'll play like 2K with a friend or something, but that's it. Yeah. I've been playing us cyberpunk 2007. I love it. It looks fun. It's spent 10 hours a day. It's consumed my life. It's too much. It's a lot. I don't like the feeling of like doing that and then just you're like, you're done.

You're like, what the fuck did I just do? Yeah. It's like a waste. I don't think that. Really? No. I go, that was amazing. I was undetected in that area.

And my sneak just went up, right? Not one detection. And in some of these games, right? There's like 15, 20 people in a building. And you have to do the mission undetected. Right? So you have to time out when people go around. there's certain corners,

and then you knock them out, and then you have to put them in, like, you know what I mean, areas where people can't find them, and then when I do it perfectly, you know what I mean, I just go, I did it. And it feels good.

You're that invested. Yeah. And you feel good about... Yeah, I feel good about it. What do you mean? It's like accomplishing something or whatever. By the way, the girl from Hawaii is listened to this podcast.

I made the right choice. This guy is wasting everything. Because when you do something special that you'll get a... Right, and the actual Xbox will go, you accomplished an achievement. Yeah, I mean, you're the shadow now. What are like the hot games right now?

I don't even know. Is like Call of Duty still a big one? Yeah, I had to stop doing that because I scream too much. Yeah. Yeah. Like screaming madness? No, I just scream in my house.

Like, what the fuck? Yeah. That's what I'm saying? Did I scream in anger or whatever? Yeah, in anger, yeah. I'll throw controllers. I can't play games like that anymore. Yeah, where I get rageful.

And also one's, like, remember that one. What was that one that I played where I mean this one is your your favorite. Yeah, this one's my favorite. What is this? This is um, is that Zelda or something? No, this is um, Star Doe Valley. And that's Bobby with the creator. Yeah, that's me and the creator of the game. And I was showing him my, um, I should start by a new farm. Bro, this is fucking. This is insane that people watch like 20,000. People watch people play video games. This to me, it's like the most interesting. Actually, I've never done that. I'm guilty of that. I'm guilty of that. I'm guilty. I'll watch people play, uh, more combat. Yeah, it's fun. I like watching that. Yeah, I don't get it. What do you mean?

Like, when you somebody has a skill set? Yeah, I'm not. I guess that's fair. Do you watch slam dunk competitions? I'm sure you have. Yeah, I have. And when you see a slam, let me finish. And Carl L'Amone.

I don't know. I don't know. Carl Lombeard? Carl Lomone or a Spunky Johnson. Oh, my buddy. Smokey Johnson. Spunky. Or whatever.

Calm alone, you know. Will Chamberlain. There we go. Or whoever's playing. Carl Llemon. Carl Llemon, any of these guys, the mailman. Does that what they call them? Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah. There we go, yeah. Or Chambers from Phoenix Suns. Tom Chambers? Yeah, yeah, yeah. What a pull. Yeah, yeah. But he said Carl Llemon.

Carl Lomone was rough. Anyway, and you see them doing a slam dunk, right? And you watch the way they do it and their moves. Yeah. And I'm sure you're the type of that goes. yeah that was fucking amazing the arch and the pacing and the timing of it

you know what I mean and we're sitting there going why did you even watch that? Wait are you comparing you playing a video game? No watching no watching somebody you know what I mean playing? You're comparing me watching a sport for like 30 minutes to you being like I'm going to waste 10 hours a day no no no I wasn't that's not what I was saying

I was equating it to watching people play right watching people do a move you know what I mean you know in war zone or something like holy shit he just wiped out a whole team by himself how do he do that is the same equivalent I think

to somebody I don't think sports is the same though like video games why I just think it's harder to be a pro athlete but I guess these gamers are making tons of money maybe I'm fucking wrong Sam it's not Sam it's not

so wait being good at video games is hard is what you're saying Of course it's hard So hard. It's work, but it's not the same level of hard. It is. So you think that Michael Jordan is the same level as like some fucking gamer? Well, no, because I mean.

That was cool as shit. That was dope. And that wasn't even like a highly rated dog. And you know what? Guess what? I would watch that, but I don't want anyone ridiculing me. You know what I'm watching this? Look at the head bump.

Aaron Gordon. You see the head bump? Aaron Gordon. From Carl Nash? That was the name? Carl Nash? Team Nash. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Look at that. That's pretty cool. Look at that guy. Look at AIDS. That's, that's cool.

Like a Dr. AIDS. I love that he's like, man, I got to stop getting beef with people. And he's like, oh, look, AIDS. AIDS guy over there. That is, that guy is, I love Dominique Wilkins. Dominique Wilkins is great. Yeah, yeah. So anyway, I equivalent.

And he's like, I'll tell his name. He's like, 5-9. 5-9, bro. He's 5-9. Because some of these streamers, Sam, are making. athlete, athlete money. But we don't know. I just said that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. We don't know any of their names, though.

That's the thing. We know Michael. We know all these guys. Yeah, I don't know their names either. Yeah, we just listed all these guys. Yeah, yeah. It's also like a more inspiring commercial to be like, I defied the odds. I'm Michael Jordan. I was cut for my JV team. It's not as exciting to see a guy who's like, I've been on my couch. Three years.

All right, every day. You know how hard I work to get this fucking chair, bro. All right, maybe you have a point. Yeah. You know what I was just? But they're just very talented some of them. That's all my point. I get it. I like how your tone just changed. What the hell was that? Yeah, my point is this is. You know, I mean, they do they work really hard.

I think it's dope. And it's a skill set. You know what I mean? I don't want you to look down on it. Yeah. You got to put hours in for that for sure. Right. Do you have a favorite one? Do you have a name that you, a person that you know? Well, I did play with destiny with the number one destiny guy, but I forgot his name. I had dinner with him too. I forgot his name. But you know, when I, dude, he was so, he was so arrogant. Really? Yeah. I mean, he's so nice to me. But the way he was sitting at dinner. Actually, I love this.

His wife, his girlfriend was, like, you know what I mean? Like, you know, one of those like, you know, you know how you're going to TikTok and they're like, and they're, and they, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, or they, you know, they have a full bone stroke, no. Well, you know where they, you know, they do facial expression and, and they, you know, you don't want to sound like on TikTok? Like, yes. No, they go, turrets?

No, no, no, no, no, we're doing. No, just listen. you explain it okay you'll see a girl she's you know very comiconny you know what I mean well cosplay oh they'll do the thing with the eyes and they'll and they'll do facial expressions and different things right yeah but it just doesn't look like that

okay I know I don't know what I do it that's why if I didn't know how to do it I'd be I'd be doing it on TikTok okay let me just finish this guy all right this guy was sitting there she's got one of you know his girl there and he's very he's like yeah you know I mean like stuff like this no it's not nothing yeah yeah yeah here we go

that's what you were doing what is this supposed to say yeah but do more of that that she's not doing it right there's more pro ones aren't they dressed like anime character that's what I just said Comic Con like no you said Comic Con not anime

yeah yeah you're cosplay yeah yeah I know what you're talking about now so anyway he was very like I mean I'm like he acted as if and he's a millionaire from it from Destiny right yeah and you're the people sucking him off I mean you're the one who's like

These guys are geniuses, you know, you're the one saying he's great. But he is great. And why can't, as a human being, acknowledge that? But we don't even know his name. She brought a... Cat, I said Carl Lameone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I mean?

I apparently don't know other people. But everybody in this room knew exactly what you're talking about. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Carl Limon. That's not him. Oh, that's Eric Griffin. And me, playing. Yeah.

So I've done it. Oh, you look black in that, actually. Yeah, yeah. Is that a black man? He does. Yeah, why do you look like a Steve? Harvey. This is back in the day

where I don't know the technology was... Wait, wait, wait, time out. How many times you dropped the N-bomb in this chat, bro? How many times? I didn't say the N-bomb, but I say other words.

What? Like the R word and the F word. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, so I get angry. Respect. Yeah, but did we win this one? And you don't say the N-word at all?

I'm not sure. Yeah, I've never said the N-word ever in my public life, no. My public life? Public life. Yeah, out in the open. Bro? What?

It was before we were about to do bird's pod and before I think this was like our first time like sitting down together on a pod as guests together. We do a bird's cooking show and before we record it he goes, don't you dare say that I called you any racial

stuff on this pod. I go, bro. Did you not do that? Bobby's going to get NDAs. Some dude's doing for sex Bobby's like you have to say that it's outrageous. It's unfathomable. He grabbed my shirt. He grabbed my

shirt. Bobby grandma, he reached up because he grabbed my shirt and said, don't you dare. Yeah, because, you know, because I knew that you would, you know what, from now on, you're not an ally. That's what I'm gonna say, this is the angle, watch it. Yeah, yeah, check that, yeah. You're not an ally, you know what I mean?

I thought, you know, we were bros, right? And I thought that, you know, things that, you know. I thought you guys were N-word. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You know you, my nigger, right? He's taunting you. Hey, what up, niggins?

You have your penis. Yeah, you have. You have? Yeah, but you make all the openers do that, right? No. Hey, that wasn't because I opened more. No, that was because we're at a spa. Oh, nice.

Yeah, so I just thought that, you know, we had a bond, you know? We did have a bond. I mean, I also did not want that at all. What? You doing naked high kicks in front of me, bro. This feels like something. This was like something else. This one was the end word to sex.

Yeah, exactly. What happened? Wow, unbelievable you. I feel like you guys have a really deep history together. I love this guy. This is beautiful. I love you too, but would you ever call Bobby a slur?

Never in my life. You've never have. That's outrageous. That's outrageous. And unfoundable. I find it a little offensive that you've never once called him. I don't call white people slurice.

I don't call it. What are our slurs? Honky? Yeah, that's enough. Okay, that felt like that was right at the... Yeah, yeah. I mean, the Rolling Stones have honky tonk man. I don't think they're putting up the same title with it.

I hate that as a black community, that was the best we could come up with. It is really a bummer. It's not a single... I know, right, that's all we have. There's a restaurant called Cracker Barrel. I know. And they're in hot water, Bob. Yeah, they are in hot water.

Are they really what's going on? They're taking the cracker and the barrel away from the logo. Oh. What was wrong with it? I think there's a new CEO is like, I think we should change up. Never a good idea. I don't think it is.

It wasn't for like a racist. No, because I never went to Cracker Barrel and went, oh, there's the logo again. Yeah. I'm not coming in. Just an old man. I never thought about it.

Yeah, it gives a shit. Yeah, so that dude. This is the new one. Oh, is he? He's a racist guy? Is that one? No, he was just a white dude near a barrel. Yeah, he just called his friend.

Now, the question is. What was it? It got taken out of context. Oh, so what's in the barrel? What's in the barrel? Also, I have said some Asian shit about you, bro. Yeah, you have, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What'd you say? What'd you say? Huh? What'd you say? I said, I love your eyes. That's not bad, yeah. No, I said something about your eyes. Yeah.

Like, if there was a restaurant called Chinky Bucket. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, and there was a... That's my favorite restaurant, bro. I love Chinky Bucket? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, did I just say it? Cut that out.

No, no, no. No, no. No, I said that so that you would say. That was fucking... And now I have something. Yeah. Brilliant. We're going to clip that out.

Chinky bucket. Chinky bucket. Chinky bucket. Shlomow. Yeah. Damn. That was... You racist.

That was crazy. And you got to have... I have it on camera, dude. Wow. That was like if you were playing a video game and like watching all the little parts. Damn, he really did get me. Yeah. Hey, what's on my nigger?

Uh-huh. Except kind man. Kind man. Kind man. You're a kind. mine, man. That sounded worse in the end. You're so kind.

I'm preparing the deuce. Oh, man. What a calm man. Let me get this all around your head. What a calm man. First of all, your southern accent sucks, bro. That was all right. Thank you, man.

It was scary, though. Your eyes kind of got a little bit smaller. Yeah, his eyes. Yeah, you are. I like you. Yeah, get her, too. She said your eyes are smaller. I love you.

chicken, I love all that, man. Yeah, you kind of have like your... Why you bring up chicken? That was weird, yeah. I should cut that out too. No, no, no, no, no. God, no more cuts. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, anyway. You know, go ahead. I've had a question that I've been wanting to ask you. If Kim Cottrell wanted to have sex with you now, would you do it?

Yeah. I don't know. Here's the thing. We'd have to have a talk first. Okay. Yeah, you need an apology before? Well, I would just have to get it out and know, but I did a commercial with her, you know what I mean? You were mean.

You hurt my feelings. But in retrospect, dude, if I was her, let's say I did a commercial now and there was a young guy, you know, me coming in and he didn't know how to do it. And I was sitting in the tub, I was getting cold. I might get mad too. Yeah. So now it's kind of coming around a little. Yeah, but can I say this? Sure.

At the end of the night, because have you ever done this where you see a comic, a young guy and he went up? You call him the N-word. No, no, no. And he's not. And he's not that great and you go, hey man, keep doing it. Have you done that? I mean, I don't know if I say keep doing it.

Yeah, but I go, oh yeah, good stuff, man. You never said that? You know, would I keep going? I probably, I usually try not to compliment if I don't mean it. I'm sure I've done it by accident, but like, that's what I'm saying. By accident, because it just instinctually

you don't want to hurt their feelings. You panic. You panic, right? And you're thinking you should quit and yourself. But in the moment, you're like, good stuff. Yeah. I had a guy open for me, you know, recently, and he was a local guy in a town.

Pretty fun. two years in. He's like, yeah, I'm headlining now. Right? And in my mind, I'm like, just because you're doing an hour doesn't mean you're a headliner. Can we at least agree with that?

Yeah, 1,000. Because I don't know what you're doing up there. If headlining is time, then yeah, you're doing it. Yeah, yeah. Right? But I was like, oh, yeah, good for you. I didn't headline until it was like 10, 15 years in.

That's what I said. What did he say? And he's like, yeah, but, you know, I got it, you know. I have it. And I was listening to this podcast and a tear is streaming down because I guess I'm not a fucking headline.

No, because there are guys like, you know, Cam Patterson, for instance, he's new at it. And, you know, and he's very good. Yeah. And he's headlining, and I can see how he can hold an audience for an hour. Sure. He's so likable.

He's an anomaly, though. I think he's an anomaly, you know. I thought you're going to say another word. I know, right? And we learned a new word to the other fan of the book. Dude, Bill and Bobby is my favorite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm diabolic, dude.

In front of these whites, bro? The whites are good. The whites are good, and they've gotten a bad rap. Thank you. Now, would you ever join that white community in the Ozarks? No, I'm not a Midwesty guy. But you know about the white community? Is it like a supremacy type?

No, no, a bunch of white. I'm a Jew. I'm a Jew. They don't want me. I watch a white people went to the Ozarks and go, you know what? We are going to create an all-whites-only town. Is it a gated community? It's not gated. I think there's boundaries out. Okay. So I was thinking about doing a Korean town next to them. Wow. Like buying the property next to theirs, but just all Korean. It's like, white's only community plotting expansions to another state as its efforts to build a white nation continues.

It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. Bro, in the Ozart. Is it already pretty white? It's pretty white. I don't have you been like to that area, but it's like, it's hard to find any other race. Any other race. Yeah. Yeah. But that guy. He's the leader. He's a leader? He's cute. He's cute. Yeah, yeah. He's cute. You think he's cute for a white supremacist? As white supremacist... Did that white town, right?

White supremacists? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, he's the leader. So what happens if there's a person of color that comes into the community? I think they shoot them. Really?

I don't know. They didn't say that. I don't think they do. What do they do? Excuse me. What would you say? You and I had a white's only community. And I roll up.

And you roll up. I would go, excuse me, young man. You're not welcome. Can I see your membership card? Yeah. Yeah, you're trespassing. Yeah, I would say that at first.

And then if you go, what's, what would you say after that? As you said, I'm a trespassing? Yeah, you're, I'm going to. I'd say, I don't see any signs. But how about if there's, there's probably a big sign. Yeah. And I'd have, you don't see that swastika. They didn't say they were swastika stuff.

Yeah, anyway, yeah, well, there is a sign because we just bought the property. But anyway, I'm just telling you guys, you know what I mean, that you are in our property. And if you, if you, if you don't mind, could you please leave? Mm. And I'm like, you gotta fight me first. Ooh, then two hours later, you're a nice man. And you're tied up, and I have a noose around your neck. And I have to come out like Bobby.

You think you would beat my ass? Yeah. You're right. Let's not even talk about this. Yeah. It's very uncomfortable. I don't know how. Also, how shitty a white's only community has you in it?

It's really upset. I mean, we're like, we're trying to build something here. Bobby, fucking is his way in? No, because if you look at, if you look at a lot of these groups, um, the list of like priority sometimes Asians aren't even on the list you know I mean so it's like it goes And I hate that

Why? Because I wish you guys were No we're we're the model minority I love I love you guys are killing the lists What list is when like white supremac groups Like you know these are one of the ones we hate the most And they go down the line And you guys are on the bottom? Sometimes we're not even on it Oh that's what you say my bad

I thought you just said we've ruled y'all out in general I don't feel left yeah I do kind of actually I would love to be on the list But also it's like I don't like the fact that we're model minorities. I'm like, oh, they're all right. You know what I mean? I kind of want to be cool. Oh, you're not taking seriously. Okay. You want to be hated.

Yeah, yeah. Because it's like, you know, Asians, we're like, we want to assimilate and we don't want to cause any way. It's that kind of mentality, you know, which is ironic because the... Because the... Because are always quiet, too. Yeah, but there was violent gangs in America or Asian gangs. The most violent ones? The Cambodian gangs.

Yeah, they're fucking violent as fuck, bro. Yeah, they're scary. They're up there. Albanians are pretty scary too What are they doing? I mean they're fucking tough I think They'll give a fuck They say that like Latino games or gangs are

Revengy like you fucked with my cousin This and that right kind of violence Yeah you know Kind people gangs You know I mean are Our territorial like what you're doing in our You know area right But they see that a lot of Asian gangs

Their violence there's no Rime or reason Yeah it's kind of wild Today you're both day. Yeah. That's like, I don't know why they ask about the birthday. I don't know why they ask about the birthday. Oh, yeah.

I'm like, it wasn't even my fucking birthday. What the hell? Yeah. So it's like that, like just no wrong reason to someone of the violence. Yeah, yeah. But the Asian boys. Well, that's because they have tiny rascal gang.

That feels like a really... I think that looks dope. That sounds dope. Rascal? And your gang made? Waching! I like watching. Yeah.

Blatry. I think it would be part of the Asian boys or maybe black dragons. I don't know. Black dragons so hard, bro. Yeah. What? Vietnamese and Latino. Oh, yeah, yeah.

That's interesting combo. Good food in that group. Yeah. A little bit of everything, right? Some fuss and general shows. It's a nice Sunday product. You get a platter out. It's a really good meal.

Yeah, yeah. But, you know, if I was in the Black Dragons, I was like, we're not mixing it. So Mondays is like, Chinese night I don't want like you know what like you know A fusiony kind of vibe Like refried beans with foe

I don't want Yeah so it's like You know so Wednesday's got to be Taco Tuesdays Absolutely so you know As a gang member I would be like Tuesdays talking Tuesdays Wednesdays are Vietnamese

You know that kind of thing Yeah yeah yeah Switch back and forth You know what I mean But if you were in prison You would have to choose Your group I think Yeah you have to

Would you go to the Aryan nation I don't think they take me, dude. I think Why? Because he's Jewish. Oh, you know. Oh. Oh. I would even be, I'd be like, you're not going to take me? This is terrible.

I need, I need some protection in here. Oh, yeah. It's terrible. What you got to do as a Jew is you got to pull the white collar crimes because then everyone in prison likes you. Like Bernie Madoff was such a piece of shit, but everyone's like, oh, but he knows how to get money from people, so they like worship them. Oh, so you're going to

Shashak redemption hit. Shosh. Yeah, I think they're going to do you do you know what? You're going through divorce? I'll do all the paperwork. I think that's improved. Oh, yeah. You would do, yeah. Are you good with numbers and stuff? No. Yeah. I'm a comedian. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, what? Are you good with numbers?

No. Yeah, exactly. No, but I would have to, if there was an Asian group, I would join them, but if there wasn't one in prison, you know what, dude, I'll be honest, and this is not even a joke, right? You hate with the blacks? No, I'm the town whore. You're the bottom. You just immediately go to town hoarse? Yeah. Because it's like, your asshole getting numb. So they're like, Bobby Lee, you got 15.

years in prison. I don't think your asshole just gets numb like that. But you know what I would do is I would go, you know, anyone can fuck people wear a condom. They're not going to do that.

No, you know how people smuggle things? You know what I mean? I would smuggle just condoms. This is, no, this is so sad.

No, it's not. You think you're pictured this and you're just picturing dudes fuck you all the time. Yeah, but think about it. Like, I know I would be the same, but in my mind, I'm like, no, I get fucking big,

dude, I get tough. I do pull-ups. I'm like, I'll find my way. But you're just, you're jumping a town bicycle. I'm factoring my size. He's in the town bicycle. But you also can wrestle.

You're not, I can't wrestle. Remember what happened to those kicks in the steam room? I thought you had. Remembering Shaw Shagged and Redemption when Tim Robinson, Andy DeFrame, sorry. Yeah. Was in that shower. By the way, you're from Tim Robinson?

That's a very different movie. What's this name, the actor? Tim Robbins. That Tim Robbins. Tim Robinson's the guru guy, right? All right. No, that's Tony Robbins. Oh, Joe Robinson is I think you should leave.

Oh, right, right. And then, remember, Andy from Frank, there was those guys in the shower and they, you know, did stuff to him. Yeah. If there's two or three guys, I don't want to get beat up, too, you know what I mean? You probably know. I would just be like, I'll pull out a condom and I go, three condoms, right? You learn what their fetishes are. You make them come quickly.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I would separate the condoms and threes. Yeah. Here you go, Joe. Here you go, Samuel. Here you go, Devontre. you know what i don't want to exclude anybody yeah yeah yeah about she's a white guy yeah yeah yeah and then united nations yeah yeah yeah yeah and i would say um one at a time

for my line or do sticks i don't know how you guys do it you think they're gonna respect your wishes one at a time for belide he's picturing it's such an organized raping yeah yeah yeah no it's not a rape if i say yes that's true yeah yeah so it's an organ i go there's no violence don't touch my hair do not touch my hair you know i mean and don't come on my bro this is wild yeah yeah not now and i would do it so good that it would just get around like yeah it's very polite you know what i thought about this yeah i thought about we just joined the asian gang maybe i'll do that yeah maybe i'll do that yeah i can't hear this anymore yeah you're telling the asian gang they're like yeah you can be in this is why you're here for three

years you've been horning yourself out i'll fuck you you can fuck you can no no no we got you it's fine it's cool you're in you're in chill out okay okay yeah You're in the Black Dragons, dude. Your initiation. Okay. What gang would you be in, Chappelle? Was it the Black Gorilla family? Something like that?

What is that? It's a real thing. My dad's locked up right now. I think he just made that up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is your dad really like? The Black Gorilla family. What did your dad do?

What did you do? Yeah. I mean, he did some stuff. Yeah. Well, I know. I'll show you a picture of my dad. His dad looks hard. His dad looks hard.

I'll text it to you. His dad looks. fucking hard. Does he have face tattoos? No, he don't have face tattoos. Like Delroy Lindo. Like Delroy Lindo like. Delroy Lindo.

You know what I mean? Just, you know, like. Carl Lomone? Like, wise, too. When people are you using an actor, is that like a thespian? That's what he looks like. Man, this guy looks hard.

Like Don Sheetle. You should see this, dude. He's fucking dude. He's scary. It's, uh, yeah. That's not my dad. I don't know. I'm just putting the thing.

Oh, that's the gorilla. Oh, that's the gorilla with the, Doug G. You fucking racist. What did you think? Wait, what's the difference? That's what I thought. Yeah, yeah. This is my dad when he, uh...

Can you be a little bit white and be in the black gorilla family? You can be half. That's his dad. Holy shit, holy shit, dude. Yeah, we look alike. Yeah. It's a little blurry.

Yeah, it says a lot of your relationship that this is the only photo you got. I have another photo. Well, he's still in prison, right? Yeah, he's still in. That kind of looks like a Monet. Like a painting, right? It is a pretty cute, yeah.

It's kind of a beautiful pick. But how tall is he? I'm taller to him. He's like 5.9. Oh. What's he holding? But he's a tough dude? No, that's like a pose.

Like just, is he a tough guy? Yeah. He's pretty hard, yeah. That was for attempted murder. Wow. That was the pose. How long did he? He told me he to do it.

I was like, no, I didn't know I had a dad. Was he disappointed when you were cheerleading? He's in prison. Yeah, man. My son's a cheerleader, dog. Let's a little. A little Latino at the other one. I texted you another one.

Oh, yeah. Okay. This is him now. But yeah, that was in the 90s, bro. Wow. He was a... I can't even tell what kind of outfit he's work. Yeah, he looks like a server almost.

So what happened with Chappelle Assam was is that like, you know, his dad went to prison, right? Yeah. So you know, like... There he is right now. Oh, wow. He's a prophet. Whoa. Yeah.

And so what happened was he was adopted, like in those movies, he was adopted into like an all-white family. Oh, wow. Yeah, I mean, like a Christian family. So show some of those photos with you. Why you got to do this? Yeah, I want to show. I want to show it. This is your dad in prison now.

Yeah. It looks awesome. This is Oscar Bate. Yeah, this is an Oscar Bate movie. This has got big movie all over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and you turn to comic? That's amazing.

This is so this. I don't know what that's funny to me. Why'd you laugh? I don't know why. It's a family photo. It's insane looking. That's me and my sisters, bro. Don't be fucking with me.

Yeah, yeah. Are you close with your sisters? Oh, yeah, they're very close. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's adorable. I just sent you the family. Yeah, so there it is. So that's what happened.

That's a movie, dude. Sandra Boy. Is your dad Andrew Cuomo? What the hell is that? Yeah. Yeah, who are we going to cast? We've got to get Sandra Bullock in there. He's in all of those.

Ceducydic. Yeah. Cedacus. Yeah. Heartwarming. Yeah. And who's in a play Chappelle? Who's a Denzel?

No, as a kid? Oh, sorry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. As a kid. I don't know. Who's the guy in F1? He's too old. Brad Pitt.

Yeah. We don't know, I don't know any younger. Yeah. Are you talking about that? Young, young? Well, who's going to play you in high school? Jaden Smith.

Jayden Smith. Got it, yeah. That's unbelievable. What a story that you have. But the Hollywood story, you got to be gay. I mean, they got a gay. I know, yeah. You want to win an Oscar.

He's a cheerleader, but he's also like fucking dudes on the side. This is, this is. And then you meet your dad and he's like No son of mine is going to be gay and you're like you're in prison You piece of shit Yeah And then it's like that emotional arc

We're fucking we're green like this Yeah, yeah And the dad's gay the whole time Yes And then who's this That's what mom and dad That was the first family picture we have Whoa

Wait wait You're close with your dad now though Yeah We're not close because he's locked Well that's your mom and dad He got locked up again Yeah Oh this is he'll be out soon

This is when he was free Yeah And then he went back I say it like that bro Give me another word you can use Aside from free We've been free for a minute I mean, I know in your soul you're free

Yeah, I'm just physically free Is it what I'm saying Oh my God I don't know about this Yeah yeah Let's cut this What an amazing What an amazing story though

Chappelle That is amazing Yeah Wow Your mom looks great Your dad looks kind of cool Keep it in your pants Bobby Wow

That was my first time headlining tippy improv and they both came and that was that was the first time I ever got a picture with both of my parents were they did you kill that night yeah did you know because sometimes you invite your folks out I've done that where oh you just bomb not bomb but it was like not as good as you wanted it yeah yeah I like your dad's wearing a USA hat too

yeah yeah yeah still got faith in the system was it a blue light well it's so funny whenever I ask about the cops he goes well I was doing a lot of shit you know what I'm saying Like, how you feel about cops? He was like, well, they got me. Yeah. Are you happy the way it turned out, like you're happy with the family that raised you?

Yeah, yeah, I'm cool with everybody. That's good. I'm cool with everybody. Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's no, I mean, you had a completely different. I think the reason why you are special, okay? I know why he's doing this because he feels bad about what he said. No, I'm...

I don't think he feels bad, honestly. No, but... I think he feels pretty good. He feels great. He feels great, yeah. He was liberated. He feels free. No, this is the story, though, dude.

I like this. I think because you skateboard, which is kind of a white thing. Back then it was. Yeah, yeah. Number two, you're into like, he's in a punk band, you know that, right? Like a hardcore band. Oh, wow. Yeah.

And these are like, and the kind of, because you and I share similar musical tastes. We do. Yeah. You have the nature versus nurture debate. I didn't meet my biological father until I was like, you know, 19 or 20. Oh, shit, yeah. And I think I would have had a very different life if he was in it. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, if that dad raised me That's what I meant That's what I meant Yeah, I'd be like pat pat nigger Pappat nigger That's what I'm saying Yeah You would have been pat patting

This is like a great sliding doors thing But instead of So in one story he's opening for Bobby And another story he carjacks And just murder probably That's a fucking movie Yeah yeah LA riots bro

Yeah Oh shit Oh shit That's us Why? Because he's in a liquor store kind of thing Yeah Yeah, I would have been on a rooftop With my Korean friend

Bitch, I was just shooting you And I would have been defending You thought you bye Yeah He always thinks black people Just walk in and like Just look at shit That's no no, that's what I said

You said it last time Oh my God dude, you're gonna be so mad What'd you say then? Let me just say something to this okay Oh gosh I didn't have roof cream I'm definitely a roof Korean That's the other gang

That's the other gang Yeah Yeah So anyway because I know a lot of kids that were like their dads were the Roof Koreans I talked to them about it. Oh really? Yeah, it's here's what I

don't like, okay? And I'm going to tell I'm going to give you, look at that. Wow. Look at the 90s. I love it. Oh, look at you all. It looks like Steve Jobs. Amazing. Well, holding guns This is like a poster for like the Asian version of heat. Heat too.

Yeah. So, um, So, um, here, the riots, for instance. Yeah. Okay. Um, many people think that Rodney King was the catalyst for the riots. But it, it happened a couple years before that. Where that young, um, um, kind girl, you know what I mean, walked in that liquor store.

Do you remember? Yeah. And that Korean liquor store lady. That queen. That queen. Sam's like, get me out of here. Yeah. Sorry.

That old Korean lady, right? shot her in the back of the head and then that Korean lady got off. A jury acquitted her. Yeah. Right? And then there was, and I'm on the side of the black, I mean the kind lady and the kind people.

You know what I mean? I thought what that lady did is, that Korean lady. Yeah, it doesn't feel like hot tank. It's weird, but I think people shouldn't get shot in the back of the head. I know. No, but what I'm saying is that I've never liked the way Koreans treated, you know, I mean,

kind people in their liquor stores. We're cool now. You touch you buy, no browsing. No, people, eyebrows. I touch eye buy. I touch and I don't buy. You know, I'll pick up a Kit Kat, right? And I'm gonna, nah.

I'm gonna find the clip where he literally said, why do you black people go in and just look at shit and you don't buy nothing? I'm gonna find that clip, bro. I said that out loud, do you think? Can you check me? As a joke, baby.

As a joke? Anyway, what a what a pod? We touched upon so many different things. Yeah, dude. That was fun today. This was fun. Wasn't it a fun? It was so fun.

I forgot even how long we did. We got an Amazon Prime. Amazon Prime. We got an Amazon Prime. Season 1. What's season 1? I don't know why they did that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But your specials on Amazon Prime. My last one is, yeah. Your last one is. It's so good. Yeah. Thank you. It's called, you're in what? You've changed.

You've changed. You're a punch-up? well? I got it. I love the HP. Bro. That's great. That's great. It's great. Love those guys. And where did you film that? Where or when? Where? Where? The Wilbur and Boston. Great spot. Yeah, yeah. How many shows did you do? I did four. I'm going to do four for mine.

Where are you filming? San Diego. Balboa? Yeah. I love that. I just did it. I love the Balboa. Yeah, I'm going to do Balboa. San Diego is so fucking underrated for comedy, dude. No, it's one of the greatest audience. I love it. Yeah. Yeah, I love San Diego. So you have some dates coming up. We've got. Yeah. Oklahoma City this weekend. It's When did this come out? Probably a couple weeks, we'll see. All right, so just go to, yeah, go to Vegas.

The Venetian in Vegas, the 19-A. A club in Rochester, New York, Chicago Theater, October 4th. That's a good one. Winnipeg. Oh, shit. Saudi Arabia. Maybe I'll see you there. Oh, yeah, yeah.

We're going to be there. No, we're going to be in the September. Oh, okay. Barcelona, Milan, Dublin, Liverpool, London, Paris, Amsterdam, Berlin. Are you nervous about Saudi Arabia or no? Nah, it'll be great. I'm a Jew. They love us over there.

Going back to Already been to Wise Guys in Salt Lake I love it Going back And then yeah Then Reno and then Carnegie Hall And uh In New York

Amazing Yeah I love it December 4th Carnegie It'd be great How many seats is Carnegie? I think like 35 Yeah it's good

Amazing It's great times man So Sam Mural What of He's still growing You're doing a movie right now I'm making one I might have to call you up to

Yeah you're rising You're rising No yeah I'm falling I'm falling And then one of my Yeah, but that's because of your personal stuff. Your comedy's still a great comedian.

We might be drunk as one of my favorite pods. I love doing it. Oh, my God. How many times have I done it? I think just once. Yeah, yeah, I got to do it again. I love doing it. How many times have I done it?

You were the best. Yeah, and then, yeah, fine cat and... Holy shit, you got 1.1 million views on that episode. Is that good? Yeah, it's great. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, anyway, I don't want to see. You look how much fatter you were there?

You look fucking amazing. I know. Yeah, you look great. That's crazy. The skin is glowing, bro. Thank you for that. You look handsome, man. I think you could pull a British socialite.

You deserve it. I want you to believe in you. You're fucking good, you got it. You're a catch. Thank you, man. You are. If you stop playing cyberpunk, all fucking... We got cat bird.

Check out on social. She's rising, too. Let me ask you something. When you opened for Theo, how many seats was it? We did 3,000, and then we did the 20,000 at the Honda Center. Oh, my God.

And it was your first 20,000, right? Yeah, and I have a bone to pick with you about that. Okay, because before I did the Honda Center, I was like, Bobby, I'm really nervous. I've never done that amount of people. And you're like, well, you can do 3,000, you can do 20,000. And I just want to let you know that that's a lie, because it's very different. Okay, what's different about it?

Well, first of all, there's nosebleeds. And second of all, there's like a big jumbotrons and acoustics, and it was scary. But you, because I've done big places like that before, not by myself, just, you know, you know, you know, a group of guys kind of a thing. You're killing it. Do you do 10,000? Anyway, yeah. So, but when you're looking out in the audience, I don't, in my mind, think there's

20,000 people. I felt like the lights were on because I saw every single person. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. How do you, you get done being things like that, right? Yeah, but as an opener, you, I, that's what I'm saying.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just did a couple of days with Shane. And, you know, it's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's like 18,000 people. And, yeah, you just have to take into account, like, for your people, it's way easier with your audience and then also, you know, if a crowd, if you're drawing that bigger crowd, they're not all comedy people. A lot of those people, it's their first night at a comedy show. So it's not like, you know, usually when it's your people in a smaller venue, they know what they're in for. Right. I prefer that. You got, yeah, I mean, you play the hits

a little more. You do a little safer of a set for 20,000. Yeah, but did you do well? I think I did, okay. I think I did like a set. Well, you're opening. Was there a comic before you? Yeah. Okay, so how much time did the comic before you do? 10. And then it was you. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Where was the Honda Center? In Anahe. Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. How much time did you do? 10. Oh, it's just 10?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was cool, but I was nervous about it. And it was just the acoustics. Like, I couldn't hear my punch lines. It was really weird. It's your first time, Kat. Yeah. Thanks.

But watch when you do it again. You'll fucking. Yeah, yeah. You'll feel better. Yeah. Thanks. That's weird. She got 10.

I only got 10. got seven. But you got a kiss from that. I didn't get to make out with that anymore. All right, fair enough. All right, fair enough. Interesting. Sorry. I like this tension between you two. It's very uncomfortable and a good way. It's very interesting. It's good. It's like a good uncomfortable. Some people

think we really be fighting though. No. Oh, she guys are you sure my tour dates? Yeah, he's going to do the belly room. Let's see. What do we got here? The lounge at hilarities? He's doing the lounge at hilarity. What was the cafe? It's a 60-seater. No walkie cafe. Yeah, what else will be doing?

Dude, comedy connection in Providence. I love that one. Yeah. It's classic. I'm excited for that one. Yeah, so get your comp tickets. Fuck off. At chapelle lazy.com.

It's free, so you don't have that. Just show up. Yeah. Kat, you're going to be on Chappelle's show, right? Oh, yeah. I'm going to be on your podcast on Wednesday. Hell yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Okay. Yeah, so amazing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, give Sam and everyone a round of applause. We love you.