TigerBelly - Stavros Halkias & The Fake Jewelry

Episode Date: December 13, 2023

We chat Raul, Godzilla Minus One, skin juice, green bodies, quiet style, and Thanksgiving with the whites. Download the DraftKings Casino app NOW and sign up with promo code TIGERBELLY and play FIVE DOLLARS to get ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS IN CASINO CREDITS!

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$5 to get $100 in Cas casino credits. Happy Holidays! Happy Holidays! I Happy hot a happy hello happy holiday holidays happy Everything I get usually get depressed during this time of year, but um I Can get myself out of it really quick. Oh, that's good. How do you do it? Rom does oh? Yeah, why is it so cold in here? Because it's just a season I Rom does it. And what does Remdoc say? We're all just trying to walk each other home. I don't know what he is actually saying.

I just like more of the music. Cause you go in your Spotify. Yeah. You hear. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.

And then you hear crackling of fire. Yeah. Mm. You go, hello. And at that point, I'm like, I'm already in. You have a, like, what is it about? I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I So it's like when I'm thinking stuff, it's just my brain doing what it does. It's a muscle that does that, right? But I observe when I'm thinking.

So it's like what I do is I try to like, you know, shut that part off. I think you're supposed to not shut or turn it on. You're just supposed to observe. I observe it. Yeah, you shut down, dog. Because whatever you're thinking right now is cray cray. I get so like. No, but you're thinking right now is cray cray. I get so like.

No, but you're not supposed to judge the thoughts. You're supposed to just sit with it, like allow all the good and bad to kind of pass through you, but not engage too deeply with any of it. Just be like, oh, okay, good or bad? It's also my brain isn't on my side. Oh, me neither. Yeah, it's like my enemy.

Mine too. So what I do is, when I think negative things, I think of somebody else, this guy named Raul. Oh my God, I just named my pimple Raul. Yeah, they're all Raul, the bad. I have a back pimple right now, I swear to you. Raul. Raul. So Raul, him and S. So there a back pimple right now, I swear to you. Raoul. Raoul. So Raoul, him and his.

So there's this guy with a key as a goatee. Mine's Castro. And so I imagine Raoul telling me things that I'm thinking about myself. And then I look at Raoul, because the things that I think about myself, if somebody else was saying it to me, I would think that guy was a fucking asshole.

Yeah. So I'm trying to treat myself better. So it's like, I imagine Raoul saying it to me, I would think that guy was a fucking asshole. Yeah. Right. So I think, so I'm trying to treat myself better. So it's like, I imagine Raoul saying it, you know what I mean? You like you fat fuck, you have no talent. You know what I mean? You suck. I go shut up Raoul. Raoul said, well, so what are you gonna do about it?

I can nothing. Where you ever told that as a kid? Like, where you ever told like, hey, you fat fuck, you're ugly, you're short, you're this and that. Or did someone ever told that as a kid? What? Like, were you ever told, like, hey, you fat fuck, you're ugly, you're short, you're this and that? Or did someone ever say that? Do you hear anyone say that to you out loud? There was a guy named Art Kimball. I knew it.

So Art Kimball, and it was, I remember the day, it was Mark Gold and Art Kimball. This is middle school, and we're in the library. And they were, I guess they had gone to some school class, because they were on the same class. And art Campbell is his middle school and we're in the library and They were they I guess they had gone to some school class because they were on the same class and they came up to me goes and just they go it's survival the fittest man. We learn that I go okay, and they're like yeah, so you know you wouldn't survive Why because you're the weakest of the humans? To me why did he say you were weak?

Because I'm weak the weakest of the humans to me. Why did he say you were weak? Because I'm weak. You're not. I know I know I know I was smaller than them. Oh, because you're... I'm not like, you know, I'm not Bob. I'm little. I'm Corianne, American, you know.

But I remember them telling me, like you survived all the finished, you're not gonna die. It's so funny to me how when I ask every grown man, the same question I just asked you, and there's always an art Kimball in their childhood. And the answer is always says, like, oh yeah, Bethany so and so in the fifth grade

said I look like a frog, and that became his adult internal voice. I look like a frog. I look like a frog. So he has this self-loathing that stems back from like, art Kimball or Bethany from Fourth Great. And I think that never goes away because like, we're such, like our brains

are such like sponges when we're that age. That it like, shitches are hurt so bad. I remember, I had a Paul John Keener. Paul John, can you want to hear what Paul John Keener did to me? No. Everyone was like, we had this Halloween fair. And you know,, everyone started painting each other's faces and chasing around your crush and then painting their face.

It was such a great time, and I was like, this is my shot. I have a crush on this boy. So I turned around and right up as I was about to paint his face. I'm like, hey, Paul John, let me paint your face. He was like, fuck off! Really? Oh my god. I wanted to say that to you so much. Let me paint your face. He was like fuck off. Really? Oh my god. I wanted to say that to you so much.

And then, honestly, I must have been like in the second grade or something. Oh. Even like talking about it, like I feel it in my chest. Oh my god. It makes me sick. I had the rejection of it all because I was like, let me paint your face. Like this is my moment. He was like, fuck off. And he said it in such a ugly kind of way. That happened with my Julie Rogle-Sanad.

Why? How? The Julie Rogle-Sad. Julie? Julie. I would have been so happy for name with Julie. The Julie Rogle-Sanad. So you deserve that name, bitch.

I was with Mark Golden again. It's not Mark Golden again. Yeah. After he sits side, survive on the fittest, then he became my friend after that. He felt bad about it. Oh my God, that's just Stockholm syndrome of you. Do you like love your abuser?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it was art Campbell that was mainly doing it. Anyway, so I remember we were at a party, not a party, we were at Julie Rogals that's house. And she was, what's so funny? Yeah, and she worked at McDonald's later. And I, anyway, I'll get to tell you that later. So, she did. She did. The McDonald's later. And I, anyway, I'll get to tell you that later. So, she did.

It was the McDonald's things super important, though. It's so important. Okay. McDonald's is so important. Because it's sort of like my like, yeah. Okay, okay, yeah. So I was at, and she made out with me. Okay.

In the bathroom. And then the Monday. Julie Roggle said it. She did, yeah. Okay. And then that Monday, I was telling people about it like, I made out with, you know, because when you first woke up, you tell everybody. How were you saying it though?

I made out with Julie Roggle. Like, I'll allow it. Yeah. And then her friends came up to me and said, we talked to Julie and she said, you didn't. You know what, you deserve that. Why? You liar!

No, she's a liar! And she wears, then she wore gay McDonald's in your face! That was a great year later, years later after high school. Right? I went to a McDonald's and she was there working behind the counter. Oh, so she has a job. I guess, yeah.

I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was like, you're responsible, I don't, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I was, I responsible. I was working at the Del Taco and I thought we were better. Wait, let me just say that. Yeah, you weren't supposed to kiss and tell. You weren't supposed to announce it in the hallways. I was fucking 12 years old. What the fuck? My first kiss. My first kiss was Matthew Chan. Matthew Chan?

Tan, tan, tan. I was 10 years old, but it was just one of those kisses like that. And after I kissed him, maybe two hours after, I told him, I was like, I don't want to be your girlfriend anymore. And I straight up dumped him because I felt kind of sick. I don't know, I just felt out about something. I mean, I was too young, you know? You're his juggler.

I was, yeah, I was that for him. Everyone's somebody's juggler, juggler, rockle, sad. And I remember like his mom, like trying to like comfort him at the swim meet we were at. And me feeling like, why am I supposed to feel bad for? And everyone was like, you made Matt cry. And I was like, you bitch. I don't like him anymore.

You evil, evil lady. I know. You owe a little man's. I got a blow. You got a blow on him. I don't want a blow on him. No, he was really cute. He grew up to be like a hot little girl. Oh wow, wow, got a blow, you got a blow. I don't want a blow. No, he was really cutie. He grew up to be like a hot, a little girl. Oh wow, oh wow, oh.

Yeah, so he went out. I don't know what happened to Julie Rogleston, but, um, and then there's another one, Megan Stallard. What's with Megan? She was another one I made out with one time, and then she denied it years later. Like, like, like, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that, that's when

Senato Connors, um, nothing compares to use later, like three months later. And I remember, that's when Senado Conner's, nothing compares to you. Oh, so good. So I was in my, I was at this Toyota like, Brown station wagon that my parents want me. And it was coming on the radio and I fucking, I thought I'd make a salad. And I literally started crying.

This thing don't, nothing compares to you. You are such the best. You're the fuck, I want to hold you. Why? Because that feeling that you just described with a Toshinato Connor song is truly like the most relatable thing you've ever said. Like I don't think anyone's heard that song and not cried in their brown Toyota before. That song is so good.

By Prince by the way. Shut up. I'm sorry, I heard his version. It's in Ado Connor. Okay. He might have wrote it and done the melody. Yeah, but she did it. But she, that's her song.

Fuck you, Prince, for that one thing. For creating the song. No, great, Shaw, song. But I'm tired of that. Oh, you, you know who wrote the song? But even to this day, that song. No, great shot song. I'm tired of that. Oh, you, you know who wrote the but even to this day that song. It's like that song leaving on a jet plane. Oh, you were really wrong about something by the way. Oh, here we go. You thought you try to tell me that what somebody it was like a junior Mervin song

is like police and thieves and you were like this is a clash song. And I was like, and I was like, no, it's like junior Mervet. And you were like, no, it's the clash. You don't know your history. And I was like, oh, you want to go? You want to go? How about Anya fucking Nigma? You want to go Anya in Nigma, Ted? Or what?

Could I go there two beds? We already did, Garry. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right. So I do that anymore. I confuse Enigma with Anya, which is the worst thing I could do to a Bobby Lee because like, Google, then I go that it anymore. I confuse Enigma with Enya, which is like the worst thing I could do to a Bobby Lee because like Google Then I go in your face. And yeah is like his life

And he is like his freaking queen. Yeah, yeah, and he's the best. Yeah, I have since been educated. Yeah, you're bad No, I just had a freaking break far too, but you were adamant about it like you It was a nigma. I remember the car ride. You bet your life. It's swat it. Bobby. I swore to God, Bobby. I'm the, you know, I mean, it was fucking your shit, town.

But you do it. I remember it. I got a call from a random number, so I thought it was somebody. Oh, my God. You're freaking me out right now. Anyway, go, go, go. Hi, go, go, go, go, go, go. He's always been sweet. He's always been sweet.

Oh, can I ask you, I was going to call you another, and are you going to be mad? You're going to say no, I'm going to say ask you anyway. OK. OK. So what Guggy does now, 24-7, he just waits by the back door. He wants to go outside.

I know. I've seen him. And I was going to propose an idea to you. This is a cool parenting question. Yeah, yeah. This is a co-parenting question. Yeah, yeah. You're asking me in front of everyone. Just let them go out there. And Adorka, absolutely not.

I am so. Absolutely not. Unsupervised? No. They're coyotes that hop our fence constantly. I think you can survive it. Bobby, please God don't. God damn you.

He sits there all day long longing for the fucking life. And he not gonna be an outdoor cat outdoor cats in this area are dead cats It's got a scrapper though, you know, he has literally been an indoor cat since the day he was born I'm not gonna do it but I feel bad. I don't know what to do his survival instincts are no longer there He just stands there and he looks at me and I go No, There's please. That literally they even say me out. He goes, please. And as a father, you say, no son.

I can't speak. What? No, you can please don't, Bobby. But he doesn't understand. You tell him. Googie, no unsupervised outdoor time. You will get eaten by the coyotes. Yeah.

Cat's smile sign. I finally saw it. Oh, our our caddo. Yeah, the caddo. They never Can't spy outside. I finally saw it. Oh, our, our, uh, caddo. Yeah, the caddo. They never go, she, they don't go out there. Yeah, they do. They do. They do go out there.

They don't go out there. They don't go out there. You know why? I live here. They don't go out there. Nicer than my house. Yeah, what would live there? The caddo is beautiful. I'll tell you why.

Bobby doesn't hang toys out there. Oh, you have to hang toys. What the fuck are you talking about? I just don't think you incentivize them to go into the caddo. They don't have toys out there. Oh, you had to hang toys. What the fuck are you talking about? I just don't think you incentivize them to go into the patio. They don't have to put it out there. They've never been out there. Hmm.

So Bobby has never heard of Godzilla minus one. Everyone in the room, let's stop, stop, everyone in the room. Raise your hand if you've heard of Godzilla minus one. Raise your hand, Zellom minus one. Yeah, that's not just the Donnie M. Google. Raise your hand. If you've heard of Godzilla minus one You know that's not just a don't even Google raise your hand If you have heard of it oh You heard of it. What is it? All right, have you heard of it me either you either torch no

And the reason it's even worth anything is because it's supposed to be the best Godzilla movie of all time There's no why I it got is it the Godzilla with the, he has a fist? 97% on Rotten Tomatoes. No, he has like some sort of glove on or something. No, not that one. I saw the trailer, it looks really good. No, I think you're talking about the Godzilla with the,

the boxing glove. I don't know, I just watched a trailer and a nice, I saw the review. Apparently he has another weapon on his hand. Yeah. I don't know if it's a boxing glove, but is that what that is? I haven't know, I just watched a trailer and a nice, I saw the review. He has another weapon on his hand. Yeah. I don't know if it's a boxing glove, but is that what that is? I haven't seen it yet.

I refuse to watch it because he doesn't box. What do you mean? Godzilla doesn't box, he's not like Manipack yet, right? That why is he a boxing boxing glove on? So you're free, you're free to watch it because you think he has. I think they changed it just so I don't want a refuse. And like Godzilla has like,

wait, was King Kong's in it too, right? I don't know, King, I haven't seen it, Bobby. Yeah, yeah. I won't watch it. I've never heard of it. I know, but all the buzz is Godzilla minus one. Well, that looks so good. Right? Yeah, look at him. Wow, that looks so good. Um, let me ask you this then. Did you see who saw Oppenheimer? I still have it. You see what? What do you think? Be honest. I know the mic. Come to the mic. I think that's him.

Oh, that's a great sweatshirt, Johnna. What's that? I think that's Scott. That's Scott. I'm grateful. Did you see Oppenheimer? Yeah. I thought it was OK.

I thought it was OK. OK. Yeah. What do you think, Gab? I wash it twice back. Okay. I thought it was okay. What do you think, Gab? I watched it twice back to back. Wow. But that's only because I missed five minutes.

Because the movie stopped playing. And I walked out. And then it started playing. So I missed it. And I'm like, weird about that stuff. So I wanted to watch what I missed. But then you watched a whole thing over it. That's a very you move.

Now, what do you think of it? I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it. Is it weird? Is it weird? You don't see a single Japanese person in it. Yeah, this is a good question for Asians. It's not weird. Did we?

Well, they developed a weapon that killed hundreds of thousands of Asian people. And that was a whole soul purpose. Well, they created it for Germany, I guess. That doesn't solely to kill it. I know, they could create for Germany, but then Hitler killed himself in the bunker, and they lost.

So they're like, what do we do with this? The Japanese. But anyway, that's what they did. They dropped it at Nagasaki here. She about, right? But they don't show one. I just wanted to see one evaporation. They did, right? They dropped it at Nagasaki. Here she is. She is about right. But they don't show one. I just wanted to see one, you know what I mean, evaporation.

Just one? Well, I mean, at least one. But don't you see? Some Japanese man drinking cow milk or something. I don't know what they drink. A Japanese man in the rice, they do rice, right? Yeah. Holding, you know what I mean?

And he's gone. And that would have that that And then the credit point go down then I'll be like okay, that's what that did I mean, but you know what it did yeah, it's more I don't know exactly what it did I've never seen that's not you've seen the documentary of watching the 90 what was that Nicholas Cage 9 11 movie I think it was 9 11 yeah my sponsors in that movie my A sponsors in that movie you know me and and so it's like watching that movie right yeah not see this and just having them like all you these you know, all kind of guys in a plane.

Oh, I don't know how they speak. Yeah, hold the hold the right, right? And then they're about to go in and then the credits go, I mean, I don't even want to see it or no. I personally don't, because I can imagine what it's like. Yeah, okay.

I also watch the documentary and all the the cancers that came out of the fallout. Yeah. Like, don't you think that was enough? Like, we saw so many, like, this figure meant, like, in that documentary. I wanna see it on the big screen though, you know. Why?

I just wanna see, you know. You do, you know what? You do have an appetite for... Construction, just like guns and roses. Guns and roses. He has an appetite for very morbid things No, I have an appetite for like just watching visual. I think because it's impactful, right? It's like it doesn't retraumatize you to like watch things like that and be like oh fuck in a movie

Like okay, say for instance you watch something I mean I saw fucking Thanos do this and kill half the fucking population of the universe But they just disappeared and they showed it though But it doesn't show some of the some of the fucking population of the universe. But they just disappear. And they showed it though. But it doesn't. You showed some of the fucking adventures disappear. And imagine if you did that and then you show that, then I know what did you do. That's my point. Why can we watch half the fucking,

X-Men, I mean, X-Men, the fucking Avengers disappear. Thanos is not based on history. It is, that happened. Wait a second, so like before you go to bed at night, right? Oh my god. It doesn't matter what movie you watch. You don't have to be careful. Like it doesn't seep into your dreams or the way you feel at night. No.

Oh man, I have to be so careful. I watch videos. I don't give a fuck. Oh my god. Let that out, fuck. Just believe it. Yeah, yeah. Jesus fucking.

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eligibility and deposit restrictions apply. One for opted in new customer, five dollar wage you're required, max $100 in casino credit, awarded, which require one X playthrough within seven days terms. At casino.draftkings. com slash holidays on the house restrictions apply I mean I can drink I drank a diet whole diet coke Pepsi and Pepsi now? No they because that's what all Jersey Mike's gives you. Oh, you know how the

opposite. This is from my Jersey mics. So I drank, I had two of these. So I had one last night. And then I watched some videos, I went to sleep. And then what kind of videos though? Like for me, say for instance, I have to watch animal documentaries and like very nice ASMR-y, like sweet, nice, like, what's his name?

The guy from all the animal videos. Oh, David Attenborough voices. Steve Ruin. Or, yeah, young Steve Ruin, or like... What an old Steve Ruin. Well, he didn't quite make it to do. Good, I was a quiz. You listen to Kyro practice ASMR videos.

Oh, the crack, the crack joins. I was a quiz. You listen to Chi-Ropractic ASMR videos? Oh, the crack, the crack joins. I should maybe start. There's a lot of good Korean ones. Oh, really? Korean fire factors, yeah. I'm afraid of Chi-Ropractors. Have you ever been? Mm-hmm.

I have, I just feel like there, one step away from causing me permanent damage. I know, I get it. I mean, my best friend is going through it. What do you mean? I can't get into it, but my best friend's going through it, and it's pain. You're such a fucking liar.

Oh. Well, then you go in your face. Going through so much pain on his back. Okay, don't put it out there. I know, but you're the ones who challenged me. I mean, you challenged me, and I will fucking, you't put it out there. I know what you're the ones challenged me. I mean, you challenged me and I will fucking, you know, I'll fight. I can bow away from the challenge though. I will not. Thank you, Galby. I will not. So give up up and have a one through ten, ten being the best. Best

what movie ever? No, just in terms of like rating, you know, I give it a seven. You know, I'll give it a seven. 8.2. 8.2. Good. Well, that goes our movie review day. I just only movie I've seen. I there's no other movie I want to watch. You still never watch Barbie. I refuse. Why? There's so many. I know why. I know why. No, don't put this out. Don't even do this. Don't even do whatever you're doing. What? No, no. No, who's Seemoo?

Seemoo is the other Ken. No, I read for it a bunch of times. I remember. Yeah, so I didn't get it. And you know what makes that even sadder? Is it literally everyone is on it? Even Adam Ray. Everyone is on it. Even Adam Ray.

The burns. Do you feel the burn? Okay, do you feel good? No, I know, I know, exactly. Yeah, I don't wanna hurt you in that way. You don't hurt me. It just gets to a point where, you know, it just gets to a point where you start reading, folks.

You know, they come over, they give you like this form you're to sign, right, so it's like a secret. I've had many of those, like you can't even talk about it. And then when you get the script, it just says your name all over it, like across it. Oh, that's right.

So that they know that if you put it online, that you did it, right? So I write it, I sign it, I work on it, I do it, and I just never get it. I it, and I just never get it. I mean, don't say never get it. It's just Barbie's one movie. No, bad, and the sea mousse in the Changcha. Changcha.

Changcha. Yeah, yeah, Changcha, I didn't get that. It's fine, I'm not being bitter. It's the life of an actor. You read, you don't get it. Some things I do get, that's my point. Also, I just don't want to watch it. I don't think you and Seemu are going out for the same role. I'm not talking about Seemu. I don't get it. Somethings I do get that's my point also. I just don't want to watch it I don't think you and Seemoo are going out for the same role. I'm not talking about Seemoo

I don't even know the guy as easy great Yeah, he's like he's hot. I get it Yeah, I get we're not I'm not he's the best Seemoo's one of my favorites But you're like a different kind of yeah fat ugly weird. I get it you're great. Yeah. Yeah I'm not I don't know You're great. Yeah, yeah. I'm not, I don't know, I don't know, I'm just, don't even put this out there. It makes me look bitter, I'm not bitter.

I feel great, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be. Yeah, Rambdas, Rambdas, Rambdas, Rambdas, Rambdas, Rambdas, Rambdas, Rambdas, Rambdas, Rambdas, yeah. But I just, you know, is there, like that Godzilla minus once looks good, but is there any movies you're excited to watch? Yes, what and you guys totally ignored me the last time the boy in the hair And never heard of it. What's that? I'm ignoring you now too

Boy, the man is hyomae azaki's new film. It comes out December 8th And I invited everyone to go on a field trip with me and no one took the bait. Where is it? At the theater? Well, I want to watch the subtitled versions. I have to look for that. But the cast of the English one is Robert Pattinson. They have a pretty incredible cast, but I'm going to watch the subtitles one. I like the subtitled.

I want the Japanese version. Yeah, me too. It was supposed to be his last movie, but then he announced that he was going to do another one. Yeah, which is kind of weird. He was retired and then very quickly, was like just kidding. Yeah, so does he do that? Do actors and comedians like outwardly say they're retiring?

Let me guess. No, I don't know comic that's ever said I'm retiring. They just are forced to retire. Yeah, but what does that look like? Do you think there's a thought in there? I like this is my last set right here, and I think I'm done. I mean, look at my binder. Okay. Binder in the 80s was on the tonight show. He did a bunch and one day he just woke up

and said, I'm not doing this anymore. And he never went up again. He did until 30 years later. He's doing it again now, and he's loving it. Judd did that, Apertile. He was a comic young, made it as a writer, stopped doing it, but it always calls you back. It's one of those things where it's like, it's a drug. Yeah, but that's like fighting, right? Like MMA and stuff when they hang up their gloves.

And like, and you can see the tears in their eyes. And it's like you've dedicated your entire existence to this one thing. Thank you. And like, who are you without it? I know. Do you think you'll ever, you'll have that moment with yourself?

Yeah. I know what I want to be. I want to be a farmer. Like, I want it, not a farmer, but I want to have like animals around me and I want to learn how to bake Bake what no, I think I he really loves a great British bakeoff, right? I'm not lying here, and I think he'd be really good at it. Yeah, I want to bake. I want to Use the soil put my hands in it and need it Need the soil with my hands hands in it, and need it. Need the soil with my hands and really get into the dirt.

What would you grow? Oh, all kinds of stuff like, pumper nickel. It's pumper nickel, I think. I don't know. I got the other. It's a fabric. I know. And some sort of pepper.

OK, no fabric. I've got you. Got you. And how about you? I did something there, and I'm a very ashamed of. Of course you. But you. And how have been here? I did something there, and I'm very ashamed of. And I wasn't even going to say anything, but I might as well say it now. But I corrected myself. Can I tell you?

Yeah. So Sunday night, I was at the comments right at the spot. And I get to the store. And there's this waitress at the store, her name is Lenny, sweet lady. And she comes into me almost like distraught. And she goes, hey, Martin Dale's stuck in Austin.

I don't know, I go, okay. And she's like, I'm doing the show in the belly room. I have a packed room. Can you please do it? And I go, I have to do this other OR one, you know what I mean? And she's like, yeah, but after, I go, it just depends on what I feel. So then, I go up in the OR and I start talking, it's packed and the sounds fucked up. Like, it's muffled and I can't even hear myself, right?

And also that night I was going, I have all these new jokes I want to try. And I tried them and they didn't do well, right? And get off and, you know, when you have a weird sad, it's frustrating, you know, you're in a weird mood. And then the sound guy comes up to, I can start complaining about it. And the sound comes up to you and goes, there's nothing wrong with the sound, man.

I know what all your copics are talking about because everyone's just complaining about it, right? He's like, I tested it, it's perfect. I go, I go, it's not, I've been here for, this, I'm out of time, do you know what I mean? It's never sounded that way. He's like, well, I'm telling you, there's nothing wrong with it, right?

I almost want to kill this guy, all right? But then now I remember, I have to do the short stories, right? So I go up there and I see C, C, P up there, and he's killing. Who's C, P? He's a black guy. Oh, he's killing. Who's Cp? He's a black guy. And what's so funny? I think this is a name.

I don't think it's bad. I think it's wrong. Cp. Yeah, yeah, I don't know. The black guy. Cp, black comic, Google that. And he's killing, right? And I'm now in a fucked mood. Like I know I can't

perform. So I go up to Lenny and I go and the host, this host, sweet white kid and they're like, can you please do it? I go, I mean, I know myself, I'm in a fucked mood. I just can't, they're like tears in their eyes. Please. I go, oh yeah, you want me? Okay, you'll see what happens. Like that, I go up there and I purposely, I think, start eating it. Like it's bad.

And I can see her leaning against the wall like this looking at me and I'm like you happy like like an asshole I end the set and then the host comes to take my hand and I diss him. I'm being honest yeah yeah I'm being honest I leave the club and also also in the hallway, I'm like screaming. I call that, I want to go up. You know what I mean? Like, fuck a maniac, right? Yeah.

Then I couldn't sleep that night. Next morning, I woke up. I called this kid Ramsey. He gave me her number. Then, you know what I mean? And I called her, and I apologized. And I said, that was behavior. That is, it's terrible behavior. I told her what led up to that moment, right? Yeah, and normally I would have just let it go

You know, I mean and that's anything, but I'm trying to do that So I'm just like I wasn't being clear and I just said I'll make it up to you this and that but I'm ashamed of my behavior that night But also the sound guy did he get it together? No You ride the sound guy. Did he get it together? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no not a real name for a comic. I go, maybe it's not CP and then I got fucking paranoid. No, because I thought you meant you wanted to say ****. Who's ****? Oh my God.

The Korean dude. Yeah. Okay, let me just say something. Let me say something. I thought that's what you meant to say. I was saying that I said **** up on stage, killing it and I couldn't follow on. That's insane.

That's insane. That's insane. This kid is a beast. I believe it. All right, but I'm just saying, don't, you have to be saying it. I know my CPs and all that, okay? Okay, good, good.

I know all that, all right. But don't put that stuff that I think I'm saying the CPs. I mean, it's good. I'm just saying that, he's very talented. Anyway, yeah, but anyway, I think, you're allowed to make mistakes and be human,

but I try to mend it right away. And I think that it's, I get that way. Like on the way here, on the drive over here, I was in such an okay mood, like a perfectly fine mood. I was like, oh, look at this guy, how pretty, you know, and... I got to the corner here. There's a fucking guy, just like a big truck, just like... Coming down the hill really, really fast, guards me.

And he doesn't move over to the side so that I can get around to get here. And I was like, he just stops. And I was like, excuse me, can you just push in a little bit so I can get through and he yells at me He's like there's a lot of space and I'm like my sensors are beeping because there's not a lot of space I have cameras and I was like no, there's not a lot of space and he holds up fucking traffic and in that moment I thought oh my day is over. Oh you thought I was gonna rage out Yeah, cuz he was so rude. He was just like there's a lot of space space. But I know what you that feeling of like, oh, there's no coming back from this rage. Like I just need to go home and chill out, light a candle and like

breathe and apologize to the world tomorrow. Is it a bathroom? Yeah. Okay. But yeah, you're allowed to feel that. Good. Yeah, you apologize. It's all good. We have a beautiful guest today, Stavros. I've been a fan of his for a very long time. He's done bad friends before. And I've been watching him from afar. He's really just, he's like a Tim Dillon in my opinion,

a guy that can go anywhere into space and go into spaces that I can't even get to, you know, but it's very exciting. Oh, yeah. I know what space he got into that you didn't. What? I think it was like a really like, it was a fashion show and like, parry. Tim Gillan?

No, um, Stubby. Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah, I remember that. And I remember you being real like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was about to be mad about that shit. Andrew was in it too, right? Everyone was, I think Theo was. Yeah, yeah. Well, why were they there?

I think they needed. What? Hi. What's up, guys? Yeah, what's up? What are we doing? Good. What's this about?

What do you mean? He's talking about how angry he was that he wasn't invited to that fashion show you did. And... Yeah, was that your thing? Wasn't my thing. But did you mention my name or not? No, maybe.

Who else was in it? Who else was in it? Santino. I know, dude. You know him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who else? Who else? Mateo?

Yeah. Wasn't Theo in it, too? Theo. Yeah, yeah. But the best guys. Yeah, good guys. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. uh... who else miteo yeah and the only two you know but good the best guys you know you know you know it's because i was invited not that one of the best guys no i think it's more that you have kind of like uh...

like a child's body and it was like a menswear line he doesn't really make like uh... toddlers close yet but i mean but they had but they have no that's a special but i think yeah yeah that's a sad thing to do since the last time i saw you did you get somebody But I mean, but they had no They have to be special. First of all, yeah, yeah, Every time you're something good. Since the last time I saw you, did you eat somebody? I've gotten, I have gotten fat or yes.

What happened? Is there too many euros? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not my fault you didn't get on this fucking thing. I don't know. You don't have to treat me like this out of the gate. I don't mean to treat me like this out of the gate. I don't mean to treat me like this out of the gate.

You do have a baby. You can go to the win. I said, I did. It's not trying to be a means period. I think you're great. Thanks man. Yeah, yeah. Because you know what, guys,

I'm gonna just say something, you're in people, because you have a little tan. I do. It just looks good that way. I hit the, I hit the, I hit the, yeah, pool before coming here.

Did you feel, yeah. You don't live here. 80 degrees now. You live where? I live in New York. In New York City. Mm-hmm. In the, in what part?

I live in Queens. Fuck yeah. Does this. In the, in what part? I live in Queens. Flalk, yeah. Does this feel like really warm weather to you? Absolutely. It seems incredible. I've never been colder. Really? This is cold for you?

It was fucking hot today. I come out, I came off the plane. It was like, you know, it's just like, in the little weird tunnel from the plane to the thing of the shit. Oh. I was excited. It's cold as hell.

And you just got in today? I just got in dude. I'm off the jet, right team. Whoa, dog. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How long you in town for? Four or five days, I'm doing the last part. I'm actually, you're the book end, Bobby. I start here and I end with bad friends.

On Saturday, I never, I never got that approval. I'm so away in my not approved. I may not have done it now. Come on. I mean, you came in here with hot. You came in. No, I came in great. I came not approved. I may not do it now. Come on. I mean, you came in here with hot. You came in. No, I came in with rain. I came in nice.

You thought, no, you came in with my legs, and said, no, baby, it's fine. No, no, no, no. After you got mad at me for something, I was just, oh, yeah, you're right. No, what? Because I was just complaining. OK.

And then she's the one that gave you. Well, he said that you get invited into spaces he can't reach or get to. And I was like, oh, like, the fashion show or get to and I was like oh like the fashion show Yeah, like oh fuck the fashion show. I if I was being mean I would say like the top shelf, but I'm not gonna do I didn't do it all right all right. I always say something all right, but medium show All right, but in that group with the fashion let's let go of the fashion group, right? But like I want to talk about for a second, right?

Okay, my thing is that when I'm asking you is that when you were with those guys doing the fashion show Did you look around go yeah, this is the elite? Not really because what I thought was these are the people one guy is into because it was all like Kids super, you know what I mean? Who? Kids super, the designer who kids super. Column, he's a cool dude. But it felt like he just kinda, you're gonna have to take it up with him, man.

You're right, you know, five nights, everyone. Five nights, show? Thank you so much. You know who's modeling my petite line? Who? I am. Yeah, yeah.

Wait, would that be actually, that's a really good idea to have like a- He and Triletress Tammy. No, like a short-king petite menswear line. I love it, I love it, dude. Well, here's what I, I probably shouldn't give this No, like a short-king petite menswear line. I love it, I love it, dude. Well, here's what I probably shouldn't give this away, but I wanna do a tracksuit line that starts at XL.

It's only for fat people. You cannot get it if you're not fat. It starts at XL, it's like 8x. Yeah, you're... But I'm not, can I just say something? That's not you, I'm just saying. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Because I want to sit where are the parts of our body?

Okay, I'll make one special for you. No, can we just do an... Only excess. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a fat Asian line. You're right. Right? So it's like in Asia. Excess...

Fat... What is it? Fat? Small, small. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think that Stavvy has the look... So you guys have similar styles, right? You do the Aloha shirt. But I think what you're missing is the jewelry, the gold.

I think that you should start wearing jewelry. Yeah, you want to go jewelry shopping? Do you have a guy? I have in New York, yeah. I do. Somebody help me. You got to come out and be very careful. I have one thing I have to say, please.

No. Why? Why don't you wear jewelry because every it makes my neck green That's fake jewelry Is that what it no less you've had money for wait what do you mean? That's fake jewelry if it turns it green Yeah, you're getting no honestly what are you talking about that's like some kind of oxidization? She does have yeah, I wear Julie my turn my neck turns green what the are you talking about? That's like some kind of oxidization she does have. Yeah, I wear jewelry, my neck trunk's green. What the fuck?

If you wore this, your neck wouldn't turn green. It's a wood, every time I wear it. I promise you, it wouldn't. You want it here? No, I don't want to wear yours. Why? Because you have your skin juice on it. I want your skin juice on my skin juice.

I know I think you're safe. Okay. I think you're very clear. You know, that's not what I'm saying. Well, I'm just saying is that- Yes, we have different biomes. Yeah, yeah, you have skin juice'm saying. What I'm just saying is that- Yes, we have different biomes. Yeah, you have skin juice on it. So what you're saying is that the reason,

because I bought this ring at a fair. Mm, okay. And a necklace at a fair. I was like, oh, I'm gonna look at Koo-pa. Can I say one thing? You shouldn't be buying jewelry outside, I would say. It's more of an indoor thing. You want there to be-

That makes no sense. I think so. No, explain. It's more of an indoor thing. You want there to be. That makes no sense. I think so. No, explain. Men's like, explain. Fairs, you shouldn't be getting, you shouldn't be in jewelry where two stalls away, there's cotton candy. That's what I think.

It's probably not the highest quality jewelry. That's awesome. But being somebody that's not a jeweler, we're familiar with that trade. Yeah. If I may. How would I know? I mean, I didn't know. I was at the cotton candy place,

I go, I'm even like, I'm a fucking, a necklace. What was it looking you're going for, Yakuza? Yakuza, right? So I was wearing Hawaiian shirt with the thing. I look good, I had my fucking Gucci's on, right? That's cool. And then my whole body turned green.

Yeah, I got baby, I'm a little jewellery. I'm allergic to gold. No, no, no, no. Real gold will be beautiful. What, what? Let's do that here. What happened? Oh, see, that's what I'm saying.

Why does it do it? It's fake jewelry, Bobby. It's not real gold. Oh, what you're saying to me, oh, what's up? What you're saying is that they lie. They lie down. When cheaper metals are used or copper, they react with the skin's oil, sweat, and other products

you may have on causing the green. She did. I want to get it then. Let's get you to get rid of this stuff. You need a jewelry guy. Diamonds? If you want that. How much is it? It depends. I feel like I'm going to lose it. I've lost every watch I've ever had. Yeah, I lose everything. The only thing I've never lost is usually my wallet, because it's the most important thing to me. But accessories like that, I always lose. I'm with you. I'm a very forgetful guy, but necklaces are pretty, that's why rings I only put on, if

I'm like I wore one for my special, fat rascal out right now on Netflix. I wore, I got jewelry for the special, if it's like some kind of special occasional put on. These I just wear all the time, and it's like some kind of special occasion I'll put on, these are just wear all the time, and they never go off, so I can't lose them. But yes, I'm with you. I got, you know, fucking bracelet shit like that. I think underwear at all.

Just regular underwear. Like white, what are they? Their boxer briefs, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I like when it's tight. That's the way to go. Yeah, no, I like that like the tight white one. Yeah, if anything else, yeah, like at that one. I like when it's tight. That's the way to go. Yeah, no, I like that like that tight white one. Yeah, if anything else, like regular like sloppy boxers

or just so disgusting. You don't want that, you don't want that. You don't want to let slapping around. You don't. You want some support, but you don't want to overdo it with the tightness. Yeah, but you probably have a fat deck though. I don't, I have a pretty just kind of good,

I heard it's good. It's not good. It's okay. I googled it. I heard it was really good. It's it out there. Yeah, that's cool. And I heard you're a good, good sex man. Thanks man. Not not good. It's okay. I googled it. I heard it out there. Yeah, that's cool. And I heard you're a good good sex man. Thanks man I really don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Is that going around? It's got things going around there. You're a good sex man Yeah, yeah, but you think you fuck better than me or

We'd have to for okay. I come in here. You're like you fucking piece of shit I'm you're on fucking you're on fucking fashion week. That's number one That's how I'm greeted and now we have to have some kind of combative, who fucks better conversation? No, no, no, no, no, you know what, you're right. Yeah. Let me, let me, let me change my tone. Here, how about we introduce the guest?

Yeah. You have proper introduction. Why do we have to do that? People know who he is. No, let's do it. The proper, let's, let's like, you know, thank you. Clean slate.

All right, so, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So

all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So

all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So so all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. So all right. Welcome to the Tiger Belly show. I'm Bobbie Lee. The Best in Society. Best in Society. Best in Society. Anyway, welcome to another program of Tiger Belly. I'm great. Probably like I'm a future. That's what they say.

Whoa, what is it? I don't know. Why future? Because I'm just evolved. OK. I'm different. Oh, you're, you're, I'm,. Oh, you're an intro staff. You're right, this is my fault.

Yes, that's like special out now, and that's very popular. He was in the Kumpass cast. Yeah. Kumptown, Kumptown. Kumptown was like legendary podcast. He has his own podcast called Stavis Baby. Stavis World. Stavis World.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry. He's originally from Baltimore. Yes. How did I know that? You're a pro. I'm the best, right? The best side.

He lives in New York. He's honestly like, I've been thinking about this guy for years. And I finally got to meet him and work with him. We did, he did bad friends. And those were so fun. So, yeah, yeah. And I've been following you since then. And I'm just very grateful and

excited and blessed Thanks man Take your here. Thank you. I'm thank you. I feel grateful excited and blessed to be here. Yeah Give stavros a run of applause. Yeah My dogs are our dogs government name is Stavros. Oh, whoa, we call them stubs. Hell yeah, that's right. Okay, we have a lot in common.

We have a lot in common. So welcome to the program. Thanks, man. You're right, I came in a little hospital. Yeah, what's going on? No, nothing's going on. No, nothing's going on. I want to, because I'm so excited that you're here.

I mean, you were 20 minutes late. That is, yeah. Okay, so. Well, straight out the, you know, from the, I didn't know the early... I didn't know the information. I didn't know the information. You came straight from the plane and God bless the experiment.

It's a pilot's fault. Yeah, it is a pilot's fault. Pilot's fault. And also, you know what I mean? You were in the same category as Tim Dylan, but no longer. Yeah, you're a higher up. Oh, thank you.

In my world. Thank you. Because he's never done my podcast. And he lives five minutes from here. Should we go? I don't want to go that. Should we go fucking shit up? I don't want to go that. You're gonna fuck a shit up. I don't want to, you like him?

Yeah. He's so funny. We used to live like two blocks from each other in a story, uh? Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you see him off on or not? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We used to like, you know, constantly, you know, go to the stand, you know, split cabs

back. Oh wow. He was awesome. He lived with a whore, he lived with a hoarder. He lived with a whore? He lived with a hoarder. He lived with a hoarder. He lived with a hoarder.

He lived with a hoarder. He lived with a hoarder. He lived with a hoarder. He lived with a hoarder. He lived with a hoarder. Really? Really? You lived with a hoarder? With a hoarder? This is when he wasn't doing well. Yeah, he was not doing good. He was given tours of New York City on those buses. Oh really? I guess I'll just, since Tim hasn't done the podcast, I'll just kind of tell you about what his life was like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's interesting because I knew Jim Jeffrey

is when he was poor. Oh nice. Yeah, when he lived it with Eddie F.D. in Venice. And I went to their place once. It was like a hoarder's house. Yeah, when he lived it with Eddie F.D. in Venice, and I went to their place once, it was like a hoarder's house. Yeah, dude, it's... It was like, holy shit, this is a stink hall. That was the your house when I first went thin,

when he first started dating. Ha ha ha ha. My mom was like, oh, there should be an episode of hoarders. Damn, dude. Yeah, when you don't do well. No, you were doing well. You were doing well. Okay, I think you're just like,

you have natural hoarding tendencies because his car... You're gonna piss me off to do so bad. What do you like to hoard? Nothing, dude. Pussy. Mold. The hoard pussy, dude.

I'm ganging it up. I'm ganging it up. What are you talking about? Crazy. A lot of your stuff is still in storage, you know? Yeah, I know. I collect toys. No, like shoes for some reason.

Shoes, shoes, shoes. Shoes, crazy. And like, yeah, go ahead. You got horrors, though. You've seen the show horrors. I have. They collect things like receipts, napkins that have been used. Yeah, we're shit.

We're shit dead rats. But that's the worst horrors. Oh, you think I'm just... I think you're, yeah, you're maybe level three, four. Yeah. Oh, you're dead. I think it's not even that he doesn't want to get rid of things. He just doesn't know how to throw, like he doesn't know what a trash can looks like.

Physically, you know, that's crazy. Just a tiny, everyone, this ground. I thought this, because do you remember the green guy and the fucking, um, in Sesame Street? Yeah. Yeah, what's he lived in one? Groucho. Groucho the marks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, what's this, what's this? What's groucha grouch of the marks

I want you to do this So this is great pot. He was green right and furry right grouch. He is there yeah grouch, but who the grouch? Oh Give me the give me the first letter give me the first letter. Oh Opie OP. Oscar. Oscar. Oscar. Oscar. Oscar.

Oscar. So he lived in a trash can. So I know what they look like. Anyway, that's crazy question. Since your question, when was the last time you took the trash out? When is trash day in this house? I don't know. Oh, yeah.

Oh, can I say something? I don't know. I need to be fair. Thank you, Stavra. I have similar hoarding tendencies. Thank you. You have to have to fight them though Bobby. You have to fight that every day That's the thing what are your hoarding tendencies? Close I like I have a lot of track suits once I got money it was track suits I was gonna wear one today, but it was too hot in this fucking city. I had a nice I had a nice

Valor number picked out for you. Oh, the lower is fully back too. Oh yeah. Well that's the thing. If you're, as a fact guy, you can just wear Hawaiians when it's warm and wear track suits when it's cold. Despite all the fashion cycles, we're impervious to them. We float a bit. You know what I mean? You can just constantly rotate between those.

That's a really good point. And with a low hush, it's like the silk ones are especially nice on bigger guys. Still could really nice, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to show you a photo, okay. Please. And I'm going to show you this photo.

And I'm going to say, so I was in Chicago with Andrew, okay. We did the Chicago theater. Hell yeah. And he goes, look at this guy. So there was this guy there, right? And he is a pizza maker. Oh, I know him. Professor Pizza.

This guy. Yeah. Professor Pizza. I him, Professor pizza. This guy. Yeah. Yeah. I never never. Okay. I've tasted of his wares before. Yeah. Yeah. And so he made me a pizza. I'm going to show you. See, this one down here, he made that specifically for me. He made me a Greek when he made me a really gyro meat on it. The best pizza. It's really good. Yeah. What was on yours? Talk me. It's good.

It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good.

It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good. It's Chang. Go to Chang. Yeah, yeah.

Very good. Keep cut. I like Korean food. I've told you, we talked about this. Yeah. Do you eat out here in Korea, don't you? Oh, yeah. I can't wait.

I probably will treat myself since the special came out. I'll treat myself to one nice decadent Korean burger. Well, what do we do this? When are you doing bad friends? Saturday. During the day? Let's go after her. I have to do a podcast after that.

Which one? Fear and? You never heard of it. You know, you know, Hassan Piker, he's like a Twitch streamer. Yeah, he's great. Well, you can't do it after that? I could do it after that podcast, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

Saturday night. Saturday night, we go to a nice career and restaurant, mean, and or take you. That sounds fucking good. That sounds fun. Yeah. Okay. It's a date. Right. So this guy was wearing a fucking track suit. Yep, and I turned to mr. Pizza and I go um professor beats come on. He's got a degree But I turned to him and I go I want to start doing that. I think that's but I don't know where to go

Tractions. Yeah, do I go to Adidas? Where do I go cuz I want to look like you? Come on? I can we will talk about that We can't give this out over the air. I'm gonna hook you up easily. What, there's a guy? There's not a guy, but there's certain, you know. Why can't you announce it here? Come on. Oh, you don't wanna give it. You want everyone to look, trust I can.

All right, right. So tracksuits are meant to be gate kept. Am I gate keeping? You're right, you know what, you're right. Okay. You're a man of the people. I would say what you wanna do is you wanna find a brand that works for you. You're the man of the people. Yeah. I would say what you want to do is you want to find a brand that works for you. Okay.

So hit all the major. You start basic. A dead and a dead is. Right? Everyone, exactly. Everyone starts there. You know, it's the weed of track suits. It's the gateway track suit.

It's the classic three stripe black. And then, you know, just fucking dally around. Poo, try a little puma. Oh, puma. Oh, so puma's elevated, that's not an elevated, it's just a different, I would say Adidas is sort of the beginning, it's the brand, but I feel like it's the beginning and the end. Yeah, because run the NC did it that way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Right, the stripes are legendary, right? And no one's ever said you're wearing Adidas, no one's ever said that. No, no. Yeah, exactly, at all levels you can do that. And then, you know, I'm some expensive shit. Tell me. My favorite, the ones I've been getting into right now,

and I'm just doing a free pub for them is Sergio Tachini. I've heard of them. That's my favorite. How much is a from the price? I'll take him a price. For the whole thing, probably like, I don't know, $300, $350. I can do it. I know you can be.

Yeah, yeah. And you get measured by him? No, Sergio Tachini himself does not come to your abode. I don't know, man, I think I honestly don't even, I think it's a weird old tennis brand that just got into luxury tracks. Wow. Yeah, you just get a tailor like you're worried about the like being too long. That's what I'm saying because I have a weird legs. No, but tailoring is anything you buy anyways jeans you should always get tailored. Okay, so where do I get them tailored? Any tailor. I don't know any okay. I'll find one Yeah, I'll go. Yeah. Yeah. I mean I know Google it right now. I'll Google it. Yes

So you get a tailor you get a tailor what can you can I get tailor first and then tell them? What do you mean? No like these my measurements, make it like that. Oh, custom? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, for example, again, for the special fat rascal out right now on Netflix, I got a custom shirt because I myself, I don't have little legs, I have a, you know, a one of a kind midsection.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't really, that's not, they're not mass producing shirts that fit me perfectly. Yeah. So I went and got it tailored, or I got it custom, and then I got my jeans tailored. This is great. We're just teaching your life lesson. No, no, I'm learning it. I don't know.

Obviously. Yeah. Right. How did you get through life? So you're such a successful man, not knowing how to get tailored. You're 5'4". Especially being a such a fashion boy, because when you go get your Japanese salvage, they tailor that for you over there

and you pick it up what a week after. So you have been, But they do it, Sergio doesn't do it like that. No. If I went to a Sergio place and I wore it and they go, we'll do it, come pick it up in a week, I'll do that. Right.

So the one extra step of having to get your own, but he's the thing, once you get your own Taylor, then he's your one stop shop, or she. Oh, I'm in a place in my neighborhood that I go take all my jeans. And he's your guy. They know you. Yeah.

Wow. Okay, that's what I'm gonna do. Let's move on from it, because I don't wanna talk about clothing. I like clothing. I like clothing, you know what I mean? Well, I wanna talk about like, cause this guy right here,

Stop Rose, that's me. I feel like you and I, I know you're Greek. Yeah, I'm Korean. I know, yeah. Yeah. But I feel like in the comedy world, we might be in the same category. Interesting.

No, I don't think so. I mean, I mean, not, you, wait, wait, wait, wait, you took that as if it was a bad thing. No, no, no, I think it's not a bad thing or a good thing. I just think we have very different styles in general. That's not what I'm saying. Okay.

What I'm saying in terms of just vibes. Vibes-wise, yes, absolutely. Yeah. And let me just say this. Okay, good, thank you. Not only this, you are an influence. Not only do we have them, I've been a fan forever, dude. Oh, I go back to Mad TV.

Okay. I don't want to make you feel old, because I know. I am all, I look like shit. And I'm like, when I was a child, I go goes back to mad TV. Okay. I don't want to make you feel old, because I know. I am all, I look like shit. And I'm like, when I was a child, I would watch you. And it's true. Like I was like, I was a cute little blushing boy watching you, you know, Will Sassow tricking you into being gay.

All right, that was a great scam. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were, we were, we were, we were, one of my favorite sketches of all time. You know, that's a good thing. So I definitely like, I, and, you like, and then I kept up with your career. I kind of went out, when you started pulling your penis out, that's when I was like, maybe this isn't for me, he's brave. Yeah, he's brave, I also have a piece.

He still isn't for you, probably. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't really take my penis out. I'm not gay, I don't know if that's the difference. I didn't say you're gay, I like to express myself. And I respect that. Okay. So when Bert takes the shirt off, does that scare you? It's not scary because, no, I'll take my shirt off.

I just, I stop at the penis. And actually, that's, I have to actually commend you because I think what you're doing is huge for body positivity. Thank you. Because little dicks are the last, but it's the last, it's the last mountain we have to climb. It's our Everest is showing everyone your little penis.

And you're a hero for the little dick community. You are. You're kind of like our Rosa Parks. You're the first one. You're on the bus showing your little ass dick. All right, all right, all right. I gotta defend myself. When I'm in a fight, I gotta fight myself out.

I'm about to lay down some truths to my friends. Okay. And some facts. I was being very complimented. And I took it as that. Thank you. But it's not toward you. It's toward the naysayers out there listening in.

Okay. Fact number one, right? Did you have a problem with it? No. Genuinely, I'm trying to dig deep and really try to find a disc here. But your penis is actually very average. That's awesome, man.

It's like when Bruce Banner turns into hog, he turns gray in the middle, so that's what the purple shorts are just hanging out to you. They're not quite off yet. Yeah, that, yeah, yeah. That's what the purple shorts are just kind of hanging up to. You know, they're not quite off yet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so that that intimidate because that fully angry. Right, right. But you know, it's kind of arousing too, because you could get there.

My point is so. You want to fuck Bruce Manor. That's the point. You want to suck the whole to big green dig. Yeah, I got you. I just want to be clear, mindful, and concise about what I'm saying. Yes, please.

Is that number one, will you because you're a witness? Yeah. Okay, you're a witness, right? It's, I'm a grower, right? Yes, definitely. So, so, okay. Definitely. We'll put that into evidence.

Okay, so, let me ask you something. If Brad Williams turned into the hawk, you would be like, oh, I didn't understand that. Dude, because if Bruce Banner, like regular-sized guy, turns into the Hulk, you go, oh, you get it. But you wouldn't imagine Brad, that's like Brad Williams turning into the Hulk. I really think, I really don't think that would throw me off

that much more than a regular guy turning into a big green monster. Really? Because neither of them should do that. You understand that, right? Right. But in that world, I that, right? Right. But in that world, I see what you're saying.

But you understand the analogy. You're just trying to say if a little dick gets really big. Yes. Yeah. Well, to your point though, I think that my canal is a little bit shorter because it hits the corner. Oh, now you have a big canal. Don't ever have found your canal, dude.

No, I don't. It's like a fucking gymnasium in there, dude. Well, it's like fucking pull up. Bobby, what do you think that's about? What do you think you find it so large? I'm just saying it back. Okay. You're right, you're right.

You're right. It tilts so it goes like this and then like it actually goes left. So I think. Well you're, you know, my canal is not a straight shot. That's true, yeah, I've seen that. Yeah. There's a loop in a two. It was the full opium too. I don't know. But yeah. Okay. But no, when I say, I want to say, but let's go back to this girl. Okay. She goes, you don't, she goes, you don't get it.

She goes, that was a fear of mine with you. Too small. Maybe, right? And I'm like, oh, yeah, I get. So here's the thing, right? She goes, no, your average, which is fine. You really are though. I'm very average, right? And the thickness is right. Okay, sure. Great on the thickness.

Great on the thickness, all right. What's surprising, I wouldn't have thought great. I would have thought again, average. I'm just, I know. You said you loved honesty. Let's rewind the tape. Yeah, I did. Oh, you know what, you'll give me tough love. I give you tough love. Let's rewind the tape. Yeah, I did. You know, you give me tough love.

I give you tough love. Right, right. And I want to say something about you two, then. Please. Now I'm not. I'm open. No, what I'm saying is. I want tough love.

No, I love you. So what I'm saying is that here's another thing that you're not privy to. Yes. I don't come. Wow. Any more. You're like, no.

Entire depression. I could just fuck forever. So that's an asset. You're like, no. Entire depression. I could just fuck forever. So that's an asset. No, it's not. It's not. It's really not. Why do you keep thinking that?

That's horrible. If a guy never came, that would be a nightmare for me. It's just like, let's get it over with. I think it's nice to make a woman bust and then come pretty fast. Thank you, yes. That's exactly it. That's the rule.

I think so. I think it's nice for everyone. But this is what I do now. Please. I go, I'm about to come pretty fast. Thank you, yes, that's exactly it. That's the rule. I think so, I think it's nice for everyone. But this is what I do now, please. I go, I'm about to come and I roll on my side. Fake come. No, he does. I jerk off real fast. Oh, okay, there's nothing wrong with you.

In a 10 second period. So she goes, whoa, I'm about to come. You made me do this, but I have to do this a couple times. You know what I mean? Can we examine this though? Yeah. Why did you stop coming? Was there a day you stopped coming?

I think we broke up. When we broke up. Are you seeing anybody right now? No, single. What's your dating? What's the vibe? Oh, this is a play or dog? I've been pretty much just, I would say,

I guess, casually dating. I've been basically touring for two years. The special just ended. And I just finished the tour at the Beacon Theatre in New York, it was like the last shows. And so, and now I'm doing the promo run for the special and then it's like, I'm taking some time off. So it's just kind of weird to try and date anyone

where you, when you don't live anywhere. You're right, you're right, you're right, you're right. Yeah, that makes sense. I can't see anybody. There's, there's, there's, there's women that I have, like, I've talked about this before, but it's like, I dated girls in open relationships because it's like a way to kind of get intimacy where it's like, you are friends, you do get to hook up,

but it doesn't feel like, no, you're being honest, like, honest about what's going on. Yeah. Where it's like, instead of, you know, one night stands or having kind of some weird, somebody you live in a different city and you don't keep up with it. You don't wanna hurt anybody's feelings.

So it's like, dating a girl, like an open relationship who's like engaged and like happy and just wants to have a nice little weekend whenever I'm in town. That's cool. You guys are in an open relationship or she's in one. No, she's in one, I'm popping in. And you don't ever find that when you get into

those relationships with women in open relationships that it ever gets messy or you're just not aware or you kind of just, I think that out. Yeah, I think it hasn't because it's pretty clear what I'm up to. Yeah. I mean, I'm super, they don't expect anything for me. I mean, I'm like a, because girls in over from me. You know what I mean? I'm like, because girls in over relationships,

it's like, there's an honesty to it, whereas if you just had a fling with somebody on a weekend, they might expect something more. But if she's already like with who she wants to be with, and they have their own arrangement, and you just get to get yourself. You don't get certain things from that. The stuff that I desire.

But he doesn't need it yet. I know, but don't, I think he does want it though. Eventually, yeah, I was in a relationship, I guess two or three years ago, and I haven't been in one since, and so, I wanna, and so when I am like stable again, when I'm in a place, I'm gonna be in New York for, you know, six months or whatever. I'll go good.

And I'm taking a lot of time off the road and just trying to be a human being. Yeah, I'll give it a go,. Yeah, I'll give it a go. I'll give it a whirl. See, I have to say, because anyway, so one night I was in a different town. And I met this girl. We made head sexy sex, right? Five in the morning, she just wakes me up and she's fully clothed and she looks at me and

I'm leaving. And I go, okay, bye. Right. And she goes, I felt like she wanted more. Right. I was like, look at her, I go, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah, you're eggnog. Were you already asleep?

I was half asleep, half not. But then I woke up feeling how, I just felt that whole interaction to be full of emptiness and pointlessness. Yeah, right? And I'm like, I don't think, I mean, as a young man, when you do stuff like that, it's like, yeah, I got laid, right? But as you get up, 52 years old, it just becomes like not it just feels like pointless and like almost gross and empty. Yeah. And it's like, I just, and I realized, it's not about the sexual thing.

It's, I need, I'm longing for something deeper. You know what I mean? And you know, and what I'm telling you is that don't you long that as well. Yeah, but it's also cool to, you know, get a couple nuts off and see a bunch of different types of things. What kind of noises do you make? When I, when I bust, I'm a pretty,

I don't know that I'm very... I'll grant, I suppose, I haven't really thought about it. I mean, do you ever quiet? Do I ever quiet? Are you quiet? What do you mean? Do I quiet? Do you a quiet style?

Like when I come. You try purposely, don't say anything. Why? So kind of a new thing. I'll just look in the eyes and say something. I'll go. Ha ha ha ha ha. Like you're committing seppuku?

Yeah. Ha ha ha ha. Yeah. And they're always like, you know what I mean? Like they look at me like what the fuck is happening? Yeah. Yeah exactly. So try that style.

Do you do your own met? No, no, because I'm old and fat. Neither of us can do it. What? Neither one of us can, I can't be quietly coming. I get it. Don't think I'm having a heart attack. You're like, oh, fuck.

He's about to die inside of me. So you do make a noise. I make it. Who doesn't make it? Like, what would it be? Oh, I guess. I don't really particularly want it. I don't have to think about it. No, because I think about, like, when I make the noise, I think about,'t really particularly want to. I don't have to think about it.

No, because I think about, like when I make the noise, I think about, wow, I've never made that noise anywhere. It's civilized size. That's the good thing, that's the cool thing about it. You get to be an animal bitch. Right, yeah. And that's why I also don't want to talk. I can talk if I'm in the zone,

but I like just, you just, you just like, yeah, this is about coming. Oh, okay. I'm gonna tell you. Oh, now I'm, now I just, you're trying to get me to moan fucking 30 seconds ago. All right, I'm sorry. But do you feel empty afterwards or not? It depends, I don't know.

Yeah, yeah. Sometimes, yeah, sure. Sometimes it is pathological. Sometimes it's taking the place of, of, you know, of, like, just being an addict in general, I think. Like, a lot of times, and there's been times in the road where I'm like, just being an addict in general. Yeah. Like, a lot of times, and there's been times in the road where

I'm like, I gotta get my eating under control, I gotta stop, I can't drink, I can't do drugs, and I find myself when I'm like, I'm gonna be healthy, I find myself getting, like, really trying to fuck in those weekends. Right. So it's all, you know, it's all one thing. I mean, do you occasionally drink and smoke hot and stuff? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I've been, I kind of fell off any kind of discipline the last like month or I'm just trying to get through this tour so I'm just like whatever it takes. And I'm done, I am done. So, you know, as long as we make it out of this week of podcasts, I'm good. Yeah, you're free, baby. But you have dreams of other things,

like movies or acting. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I did a movie. I wrote a little indie movie. It's called Let's Start A Cult. And I play like a guy in a cult who's so annoying everybody else kills themselves. And then he tries to start his own cult.

Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a short or a? No, it's a feature. Wow. And you wrote it and directed it? I wrote it with some friends and one of my buddies and he tries to start his own cult. Oh really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a short or a- No, it's a feature. Wow. And you wrote it and directed it? I wrote it with some friends and one of my buddies who direct-

I started it, my buddy who directed it, also wrote it and my buddy who's also in it. So yeah, I really do want to do, I want to act a little bit and write stuff, but yeah, mostly I just want to be kind of what you're talking about. Like look for some happiness, be a fucking human being, not feel like you have to do, you have to like surrender yourself to your career.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's hard not to feel that way when shit starts going good because most of your life is bad and then you start getting attention. It's like, oh, I have to keep doing this but if you do that, you'll just fucking, something will destroy you. For me, it will be food.

I know it. Like, I mean, can I ask you about food? Or, yeah, I don't want to put on the phone. me. You won't you won't know because when I first met you at bad friends. Yeah, how much do you gain since then? Probably 30 40 pounds. Yeah, I gained two. You know, I mean what is it? What I mean? What is it because you what you eat at the amount you think? I think a little bit of both a little bit of both, a little bit of column B. Yeah. I just like a little ice cream.

You know what I mean? It's my, like I can do, like I've done drugs, I'll drink, but it's like food really is. Just I love a nice little treat, you know? Yeah. I had cool barbecue last night, and I'd drop by on Western that ice cream place with a milk ice cream.

And I got a gigantic cone with it. And I go, oh yeah, put the Oreo pieces and then also the breading stuff, right? And I devoured it and then I went and get a lot and got another one. Whoa, respect. I also, I mean, I think for my face, but that's the, you're also a little guy.

Yeah, but I'm still pretty fast on my sides. Yeah, you're cute though. Really? Yeah, I like that little gut, dude. I think it did. Yeah, you're gut, dude. I think it did. Yeah, you're not too fat. I think it's just tiny and old. Hahaha.

Who's your crew? Who's your crew? Okay, let me, who's your crew in New York? My crew? Let me, let me, let me throw some names out. Sure. They're a part of your crew. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. Yeah. Are you garbage, guys? Love those guys. Are they your crew? I mean, I get, I mean, if they're my friends. Yes, I don't have dinner with them. We don't have yeah I thought we've let's let's we don't have like matching jackets You don't play dice in the alleyway and sing duop Define what crew is a crew is somebody that you would invite to your wedding. Oh, okay, okay

So would you invite them to your close they would're close. They would be in the maybes, and I'd have to see how much of my family comes. Ah! I love those guys, but you know, wedding is a good- Give a big family. I don't actually, even though most Greek people have like,

you have cousins and shit, I have both my parents only had one sibling, and then I only have three cousins total. That's it? Yeah. Oh, whoa, really small. We have extended family. I have second cousins and stuff in Greece

that were kind of close to my godfather and his family and stuff like that. But it's pretty small. My parents had, they moved to America and they made a lot of friends who, you know, how does it like those are your aunts and uncles, but they're not actually related to you. But yeah, it's pretty small.

My family's pretty small. They're proud of you. Yeah, now they fucking are. You know what I mean? It's like now all of a sudden, they supported me doing comedy. You know what I mean? Now it's, they're never on board.

Yeah, my dad really changed his tune up this year. I'll tell you that, Moody. Yeah. But you blame him? Yes. Yes, for sure. I know there's always that little thing where it's like you want to tell,

like my parents are immigrants. So, I want to sit down and go, remember the 10 years, you're like, you're never going to make. You know, you're not good. You know what I mean? Like everything, good or cold, you know? And now look, right? And then, but, you know, they change, you're not good. You know what I mean? Like everything, good or college, you know. And now look, right?

And then, but you know, they change, they're like, oh, you know, congratulations. I'm so proud of you. You know what I mean? And you can't just go with the fuck, but deep down inside, it's there still a little bit. Yeah, but you're dealing with way more, I don't mean to again be Dr. Stofferos here,

but you're one of the most abused children of all time. You think your dad fucked your shit up, bro? I see the clips. Yeah, you see the fucking, but I think that, yeah, yeah. Like, my dad was kind of rude to me. You know, I guess you're right. He didn't beat me with fucking golf clubs.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, and tennis rackets are stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. I did write a new joke there and didn't work. And I just tell you, see what the joke is. Sure. And maybe it's not funny. Are we workshopping?

No, I thought it would be funny, but maybe it needs more, right? So basically, my dad used to beat me with golf clubs, right? And I go, and that's why I hate golf today. Like I can't, like I fucking hate it, right? If I was on TV. He used to beat me with tennis racquets. And if I see a tennis racquet, I get PTSD trauma.

So I'm so glad my dad didn't beat me with tennis racquets, and if I see a tennis racquet, I get PTSD trauma. So I'm so glad my dad didn't beat me with pussy. The structure is good. Yeah, pussy makes no sense though. Why? Because I love pussy. And if you put me with pussy, I would hate it now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That connection. Yeah, I get it.

It took a while for my brains to get there. It's so stupid. I would do something other than pussy, but I like what you like. Who things I hate. Yeah, yeah, I try to do a formula thing, right? Or what a pizza, then. I'm so glad my dad doesn't beat me with pizza.

Still, I can't connect it in my life. Yeah, why can't you connect it? I can connect it. I know you connected it. But it didn't elicit. Uh. Uh-huh-huh. Because it's't elicit. Uh, ha ha ha. Because it's not funny.

It's not that work. No, but the beginning though, the setup was really funny. Yeah, so, yeah, so glad. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, yeah, because those, they did a good setup and it is, you know, you understand where I'm going.

I just can't, could I try to not say something or not and it just got nothing. Nothing. I got pussy. Yeah, yeah. Well, you're also expecting nothing? I go pussy. Yeah, yeah. Well, you also expecting it too much, probably. Yeah, but nothing. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh shit, that didn't work. Yeah. Do you ever do that when you try a new joke, you think it's gonna work? And those are the ones that always fail. The ones that you're sure you gotta hang there. I know.

And you're like, oh, they're gonna fucking care me out to this one. And then it's like crickets. And then you accidentally fuck up a joke, and that's the way it's now is. Yeah. You know what I mean? They just laugh at that.

I didn't write it that way, but I fucked it up, but I guess that's all I'm gonna keep at. Yeah, it's nice to just go up there loose and see what the fuck happens. Is that what I like that? Is that what you do? I do, yeah.

You know what you never go, I'm gonna say this and this and this and these new things. I have them as bullet points, and the first couple of times, I just like, however they come out, they come out, and then I go back, try and get the wording right after I've said it like four or five times. But do you know where the funny is?

I think so. Because sometimes I'll go, you know, I have a premise. I don't even know where it's funny. Yeah, that happens a lot too. Yeah, I'm like, I'm gonna just try. And then you just give it a shot. But then you'll start talking about it, and you're like, oh, there's nothing here

Well, it's like you know, yeah, but it's like those videos where they just throw a baby in a pool Yeah, and it just kind of figures out what the fuck to do. Oh, right. That's what you got to do That's what you got to swim it's in person. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and you know, I'm good at two is bailing You ever bail? I like yeah, I mean, I've bailed before. Yeah, yeah, I love bailing You just doesn't feel good. No, I love bailings. You just kind of... It doesn't feel good. No, what you do is you're saying a new joke, premise, right? And you don't really know where the punchline is,

and you're halfway there, and then you realize, oh fuck, there's no out. But then you figure out an older joke that you can segue into. So I've done that before. Oh, a seamless bail. Yeah, like a seamless bail. I thought you were gonna do like a bail that's not gonna work. I've done that too. Oh, a seamless bail. Yeah, like a seamless bail. I thought you were gonna do like a bail.

It's like, that's not gonna work. I've done that too. Yeah, that's just what. You guys saw me right through that. That was a new joke. Yeah, I've done that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's so embarrassing though.

You get one of those percent. You can't do it twice. You can't. You can't be like, You still have bad shows? Sure, really. I mean, if I'm, you know, new stuff, yeah. It's tough.

It is tough. I'm sure you feel this way too, where it's like, when people are coming to see you, it's almost like, if I'm, you know, new stuff, yeah. It's tough. It is tough. I'm sure you feel this way too, where it's like, when people are coming to see you, it's almost like, it doesn't feel as fun. You know what I mean? Like, I miss having to win over a crowd that despises you. I know. It has no idea who the fuck you are.

You had to be sharper. Although, I say that, and then I bet if I saw tapes of me doing comedy, I was probably so bad at it, but there is something to, it's sometimes it feels too easy, and you have to kind of hold yourself accountable and do shit to your shows or do unannounced shows so that not everyone's your fan, because if everybody's your fan, it's just, you know.

So that show I did in the belly room, it was the same thing. They didn't know I was on. Yeah. When they called me up, I felt like they didn't know who I was. And it became hard. And that's how I was pissed off about that. We didn't know who you were. Yeah, that's what I that's how I was pissed off about that. We didn't know who you were.

Yeah, that's what I felt. At the belly room? Yeah, I wasn't advertised. It was like some random promoter. Yeah, it felt like if it's just small enough show, you'll be surprised. I'm not that famous. You are.

You're famous, dude, but you're famous too then. You're more famous than me, but I don't think so. I think you are. I don't think I could sell the tickets you sell. I don't know. Who knows about that? Bobby, can I say something? Yeah, sure. You have the nicest skin I have ever seen thanks. Yeah, it's my face my good attribute That God gave me that but people do tell you this yeah, yeah people tell me it's incredible like like Korean skincare level

Yeah, I've done nothing for it ever once in my life ever. I I've never done anything. You have not a single pore in sight. Yeah, yeah, I got, I was thinking, it's probably nice. Head to toe too. I have to, to sit side first, not you. I was like, I became, don't take the sore wrong way. No, I won't.

But I got more girls. Hell yes, that's what I want. You haven't, when I met you. That was the whole point of that podcast. Yeah, yeah. I think you believe in yourself. Yeah, yeah, I believed in them. That's what I like to hear. Cause you look like a god, here's the thing everyone's Yeah, I think you believe in yourself. Yeah, yeah, I believed in them. That's what I like to hear.

Because you look like a god, here's the thing everyone is listening, right? You believe in you. I do, I do. It from head to toe, right? And it's like, I was like, oh yeah, I'm my own thing. Exactly, right? And it's like not everyone likes blue.

No. Or like some weird blue. It's just a pity. Yeah, yeah, but yeah, but not everyone likes, I don't know, I can't really. I don't want to eat little beaks. I don't know. Some people don't like eating avocado

because it's true. But that was the most attractive thing about you. It's like, you didn't give a fuck. Yeah, and I'm back in that zone. Like even like the first time, like in the bedroom, like he was doing like an air guitar in the corner, naked. Oh, yeah.

And I didn't know what he was doing. I was like, air guitar, that's what I was doing. It's fucking weird. And he was really, he wasn't breaking character. He was really getting after it. And I was like, fucking weirdo. I love it. That's player.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I had lost it. And then when I met you, I was like, that's the, that's the young, my padawan. That's what, that makes me feel, you have no idea how good that makes me feel Yeah, to know that that podcast actually changed your life for the you and you you you affected me Oh, yeah, in a positive way. Oh, yeah

That's what I like to hear. What's the matter? You good? Yeah, I said a little coughing. Yeah So you're gonna do you see that you're here for a week. We're gonna eat Saturday. I can't right where you staying Staying in West Hollywood. Good. In a hotel or an Airbnb? Yeah. Nice. I wanted to get a fucking sick Airbnb. I found this sick place and I was so scatterbrained.

You just, you ever just leave. You just don't hit confirm. And I was looking for the fucking email yesterday and I was like, I don't have a fucking place to stay. Oh, yeah. And so I just, I got a pretty nice hotel, but I'm kind of pissed because I wanted to treat myself get a place at a hot tub. Oh, wow, wow. But, yeah. This place has a pool, so if it's hot again, yeah, so I just I got a pretty nice hotel, but I'm kind of pissed because I wanted to treat myself get a place at a hot tub Oh, wow, but yeah, this place has a pool. So if it's hot again

Yeah, maybe if you ever also you have a number right or no, I don't I want it. Let me grab after this Yeah, because I want if you ever want spawns or need help or I'm not that you need help I'm just saying because here's what I'm trying to do when I'm trying to do is guys like you I'm trying to get you Shultz just to fauna. And those guys to be able to play LA clubs easier. Yeah. Yeah, because it is a little it's weird. You kind of have to jump through a couple hoops. Yeah, and I don't like that. Yeah. Because you know, I've said this before when I go to New York, I get treated like royalty. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

They're really good about it. They call me. Yeah, it's awesome. Elizabeth and you know, Liz. Yeah, Liz is awesome. She's the best. And she's like, hey, shithead, I know you're in town. It's a boxy, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I tell her and she gives it to me. And it's like, but then I've seen Morale and Norman, all these guys come here and they go, how the fuck do we get in this? Yeah, it's tough. And at one time, and I don't want to make fun of the main room at the comedy store, but it was packed, but the lineup was, and Shang-Gillis was there, and he looks at me, Shang-Gillis goes,

I want to go up now. And there's nothing I could do about it. That's crazy, they wouldn't put Shang-Gillis up. Yeah, the lineup is okay, but even if it was great, put them on for fun. I know, but, the lineup is okay, but it's not even if it was great, put them on for fun. I know, but there was no way to do it at that time. Right, right, right.

It hurt me. Yeah. Because I know that they would do the same for me. For sure. You're, if I so I'm trying to figure that out. You know what I mean? Sick dude, yeah. Yeah, I love that.

Yeah, I gotta fuck it. I don't want to think about comedy for a while. No, I don't want you to do it. I'm just saying that. But when I, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I just thought, I mean, I kind of love that because you don't want you to do that, I'm just saying that. But when I, yay, I just thought, this week I don't wanna do it. I kind of love that, because you don't hear a lot of people,

especially comics, if they're not, even like someone like Bobby, if you're not working, you just feel like you're either falling behind. Do you intentionally just try to take weeks off where you're just you and? Yeah, I mean, that's what I'm going to do this year, because I said that I was gonna do that last year, right?

In fact, I feel like the last time when I was on the podcast, it was kind of a thing where I was like, I've worked too hard and then shit just kept getting better and I felt like I kind of have to see this, you know, you don't get a lot of opportunities in this business to like actually sell tickets and I thought I could get an Netflix special

and I got a Netflix special. So I was like, all right, if I can achieve those things then I really have to take a lot of time off. So yeah, I do think it's very important. And honestly, the pandemic was, that was a positive where I was like, I just didn't do comedy for a year. And it was fine. I was actually better in some ways.

And so I really do wanna, like January, I have to do some makeup shows because I got COVID at the end of the month. But for the first three weeks, I am not doing anything. I'm not thinking about work. I'm not taking a meeting. I'm not doing shit.

I'm just going to like, I got to get a little healthier, right? That's my main goal. Because you know, I'm going to turn 35 and it's like, you can't put that off forever. So my main thing is health, but it's like all I wanna do is fucking chill out. It's good to go to a island. I bought a place in Baltimore, I'm gonna go hang out with my family for a little bit. Ooh, yeah, so that'll be nice.

I'm trying to turn that into a little wellness center. I'm trying to get a sauna in there. Yeah. Build a gym in the garage. But go to an island baby. I might for a little bit. Yeah. I've literally been looking up like health retreats

where it's like, it's an island and then they also, it's almost like fat rehab. Dude, dude, which would be sick. No, honestly, I'm not lying. Please don't lie to me. Can I go with you? Yeah, dude, absolutely. No, I've been thinking.

Yes, absolutely. I want to play a, they won't allow me to vape. They won't allow me dip. Good meals. Good meals, but like organic, you know, no fried, nothing. We have a really good one here in Malibu. No, I don't want it because I can just escape and come back home.

Oh, okay. I want it, I need to be in a cave or somewhere, like in a mountain top. In a cave. In a mountain top or something, you know what I mean? Like I need to be somewhere where there's no Starbucks. Yeah. I'll go.

I'll find a way. So you wanted to feel like boot camp? Yeah, I want to go somewhere like on an island where all the people are going. Yeah, that's a little extreme. I want a healthy vacation. Oh, you're not going to a retreat, like a fat retreat.

The retreat is more pleasurable still. Yeah, it's still a vacation. No, I play volleyball. Yeah, a little volleyball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I play the volleyball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that how you play like this?

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Were you a big sportsman? No. Just remember? Yeah, do this. You look, not, yeah, you do this. That's you lob.

I'll be that guy. I can't do this. You can do this. It's this. It's not this. You gotta get the thumbs up. It's gotta be like this. Yeah.

I feel like you want to hit it right there. I can't you do this. I can, I can, I just can't do that. I'm in. I'm never gonna play it. I know what the fuck was that right now. I'm never gonna fucking play it. Yeah, I'm doing hand gestures.

Yeah, crazy how you like bump like it. Yeah, I'm doing a hand gesture, yeah. Crazy how you like bump like this. Yeah, yeah. Don't ever bowl with Santana. Is he great at bowling? Oh, it's like, yeah, he's so funny. It's so funny, the weird bullshit sports he's good at. I know. Golf and bowling.

I know, nothing. Nothing, ball, ball, bowling, pink. He can't beat me in pink, ball. No, he's really good at that. He's got a skateboard. And also, you're really good like ice skater. No, fuck, I would love to. I don't need a table, dog. I'd love to play a little bit. I can ice skate me in ping pong. No, he's really good. He's got a good, like, ice skater. Oh, fuck, I would love to. I don't need a table, dog.

I'd love to play a little bit. I can ice skate, too, the guy. Really, yeah, yeah, yeah. I play tennis, too. Really? He had the bet, and we can talk about this more at pre-cure. I'm barbeque, I'd love to. Because I feel like we really analyzed you last time.

Let's analyze Santino this time. But I do feel like he got the perfect thing where he both had a deadbeat dad and a real dad Yeah, so he almost had like he has to like desire He is like the toughness of having a deadbeat dad. Yeah with the support of a real dad and I met them Yeah, let two weeks ago. Oh really how did I met dead meat? I met real and yeah, yeah, yeah, and I'll be honest with you First of all, yeah, I've never been inside a white Thanksgiving.

Never. It was everything I ever... I ever... No, it was everything in the movies. In the movies, pumpkin spies, coffee, pie, cranberry, everything. You know what I mean? It was like campfire for Paul playing in the thing.

Yeah, yeah. And I was like, I'm in a movie. This is unbelievable. No one threading you with sporting. No, no one will say, yeah, right, right. And then so then after I did the prayer. Yeah. So you led prayer.

Oh yeah, and it was great. It was the best prayer ever done. Although I have to say, I told the whole family, I said, do not interrupt me until I say, amen. Because I wanna see how long it can go. And after seven minutes, seven?

Yeah, Andrew goes, stop. Because I started getting into space and bars. You know what I mean? And like, what's the universal long run? Yeah, I was a long run. And you can tell us bothering him. Yeah. So you go, stop right now, go, amen.

Anyway, so after the meal, what I didn't realize, because you never think, because in the movies, you see them eat the meal, right? And then you don't know what happens after. Right. I know now what happens after. What happens after? You watch the game.

You watch the game. You watch the game. You don't watch the game. You don't watch the game. You don't watch the game. You don't watch the game. You don't watch the game. You don't watch the game.

You don't watch the game. You don't watch the game. You don't watch the game. You don't watch the game. You don't watch the game. Right. So we went to another area, which with a fireplace, with the dog sitting there, right? And then I sat with his dad, his stepdad, and we talked for, I'm not kidding you. It seemed like an eternity, an hour, yeah, about everything. That's awesome, man. Politics, to family, to love.

Yeah, wow. It was a real experience. So then after that, we went to the show a couple days later and Andrew comes to my biological dad's here. And I wanted to be... You've enjoyed Thanksgiving as well? No, he wasn't there at that time. He was at a show.

He was at a show, yeah. We're in Chicago. In Chicago, at the Chicago Theater and I went back there and I met him. And it was, dude, dude, his biological dad looks like, you know, like, you ever see like, the lock stock and two smoking barrels. Like in English, he's a guy reaching out.

Hooligan, yeah, like a hooligan. Like no chance. Yeah, hell yeah. Hey man, I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I don't know. He was, he just looked like hooligan-y. Yes. Right, and he was like, my son, I go, yeah,

you weren't there, you know, in my mind, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You weren't there, you know, and it shook his hand. But like, my son, I go, yeah, you want to, you know, in my mind, you know, you weren't there, you know, and it shook his hand. But God, thank God, I mean, that he has a real, totally, he had petty criminal. I think he's good at crime. He'd be really good at crime. Oh yeah, I think Andrew would have been a criminal.

Absolutely. He's smart. But also have his own gang. True. And be more like, be ruthless if he needed to. Oceans 11 more. Maybe.

No, I think that he has the mind to be Danny Ocean, to do a big heist. No, I think Danny Ocean has, I think Andrew's too much rage for Danny Ocean. Oh, okay, that's a, yeah. But he is in the, the, yeah. I disagree with you. And I take offense to that.

But here's the thing. Danny Ocean? No, Andrew has rage that he can't do a fucking crew. No, he can. He can be actually part of it. In a world where he's raised by a criminal father, he would have more rage. It would bump his current Andrew could be Danny Ocean.

You'd be the driver. Yeah. No offense. No offense, you're the driver. Okay. Where are you, the contortionist? Yeah, you're the guy in the fence. I'm the vent guy. I'm not the vent guy? Yeah, you're the guy in the fence. I'm the vent guy.

I'm not the vent guy. Yeah, they're wide vent. Okay, stop, stop there. Stop there. He's coming around the corner. No, that's me. I'm giving you the instructions. I'm the fat IT guy. Oh, you're still driving too?

I'm in the back of the van. There's a van. I'm in the back of the van. You're in the van. I'm sweating. Yeah of the van. There's a van. I'm in the back of the van. You're in the van. I'm sweating. Yeah, you're sweating. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, and then what's Andrew doing?

He's actually the guy with a mask out there. I guess in this scenario, he's Danny Ocean. Yeah, he's front, he's forward. But yeah, yeah, yeah. You can tell there was gonna be a little fight between him and Schultz. Mm, Schultz is in here? Yeah. They're both like vying for who's red pit.

I don't know. In the Danny in the ocean. I want to let's get away from that. I just, I was just gonna let as a framework. We don't, I love that movie. That's a great movie. The women's one was good. Who's all right?

Okay. Yeah. I've always wanted to be in a high sight, but I just think that I would be out of trouble. You know what? I never realized why like be in a high psyched, but I just think that I'd be a crumble. You know what? I never realized why people gave a fuck about girl ghost busters. I was like, who cares?

It's fucking ghost busters. But I just realized, Ocean's 11 means to me what ghost busters means to other people. So girls, Ocean's 11 pissed me off. I just realized why I feel this way. I also though to be fair, watched Girl Ocean's, I guess Ocean's,

I'll call it Ocean's 8 instead of Girl Ocean's 11. I watched Ocean to be fair, watched Girl Ocean's, I guess Ocean's, I'll call it Ocean's 8, instead of Girl Ocean's 11. Yeah, yeah. I watched Ocean's 8 when my last relationship was falling apart. That was a movie we watched and we had a very tense argument. So it's also like, it might have been a good movie,

but I was just seeing like, you know, two years of my life falling apart while Sandra Bullock is fucking, you know, stealing diamonds or whatever the fuck. I don't wanna to be controversial. Mm-hmm. And I'm probably going to get in trouble for this. Okay.

But here I go. A woman's ghost buzzer to me feels like an all Korean ghost buzzer. Okay. Sounds cool. Just a cater to... That's what you're for you're going to get canceled for? Yeah, that's... Waiting women to Korean people. No, I'm just saying.

It's like if they make a women's one, they have to make a spinal bifida one. Alright, you know what I mean? Like that people, you know what I mean? And the ghosts are like going in circles because they're a little weird, you know what I mean? Right, right, right. Handicap, whatever, you know what I mean?

The ghosts? And the ghosts have like little crickety, you know what I mean? What ghosts? What do we, what do we, what do we, what do we, what do we, what do we, what do we, what do we, what do we, what do we, what do we, what do we, what you know, right? Right, right, right. Handy-Cab, whatever, your... The ghosts? The ghosts have like little crickety, you know, man. What ghosts? What do we... Oh, ghosts are sparse. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. The ghosts are also having a felon with the scum. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

With Down Syndrome ghosts or whatever, yeah, yeah, yeah. That actually sounds fun. That's what's fun, yeah. My point is, is that I'm just saying that, like, you know, how far does it go? Right, right, right. It's a philosophical question, that's all. You see, you're saying putting women,

women's representation is a slippery slope, is what you're saying? That's it! I'm just saying that. I'm just a philosophical question. That's all you're right. You're saying putting women, women's representation is a slippery slope is what you're saying. I'm just saying that. I'm just a philosophical question of like, how far does it go? That's all. I'm glad they did. I like the movie. Yeah, that's not what you're saying at all.

You know, I'm glad they moved right over there. I know the movie is a little great, but I'm just saying that like how far does it go? That's all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because then you got to do everybody, no? Yeah. Not necessarily.

And how do you feel about like, I'm just probably going to get cut out yeah, yeah, yeah, not necessarily. Yeah. Yeah I mean, how do you feel about like I'm just probably gonna get cut out to this next thing, but um about like when they make you know a certain character That was like traditionally why but then they change it to a different color. I don't really give a fuck either God bless you. I really don't it's also like it's always about like comics or some bullshit. Yeah, yeah And I also feel like Like I don't know. It's acting. You know what I mean? That's true. Like when they would do, like they do Shakespeare

and sometimes a black guy's the fucking king. Yeah. He wasn't the king, but it's like the guy's fucking acting. Who gives a fuck? That's true. All the shit is fake. No one's really a fucking going to space. Yeah, yeah.

No one, like the little mermaid's same thing. It gives a fuck. Yeah. There's no mermaid. Yeah. People were mad that they made black hobbits. It's like all the hobbits are fake. I they are. Who gives a fuck. Yeah, there's no mermaid. Yeah, people were mad that they made black hobbits It's like all the hobbits are fake either who gives a fuck what color they are anyway stavros I love you. Thanks for doing here. Of course. I'll see you Saturday. Yeah, we'll have meal that night

I can't thank you so much so much for doing it and you please check out the special Fat Rascal Pat Rascal check it out and give Star Wars a round of applause everybody. Voy a matando para por la Yo no puedo que hay tuya