TigerBelly - The Hawaii Interrogation

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

The gang heads to Hawaii for a family episode, but Bobby and Khalyla quickly turn it into an interrogation. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at ht...tps://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 The Bobby Lee, the finally tour, is up for sale, 2006. You know, I shot a special for Hulu, and I'm going to go one strong tour before the special airs. I'll be in Detroit, Indianapolis, Montclair, Atlantic City, Medford, San Antonio, Houston, Dallas, etc., etc. Go to Bobby Lee. Dot Live to get your tickets. What I'm saying to you is this, and don't interrupt me, okay?
Starting point is 00:00:54 Is this that, yes, you, Juliana, because I view you as, like, my daughters, okay? So it's like, I'm asking Kalila, are you, you mean, as a Sarah, like my ex-wife, right? Vetting, you know what I mean, these guys that she's dating is what I'm saying. I don't think that's how you should do it. I don't think there's a way to vet anyone off of a dating profile. So therefore, you make other plans to make sure that she's physically safe, right? Because for all we know, a dude could show up. Okay, I'll give you one better.
Starting point is 00:01:27 Okay. Which, by the way, I'm not too happy about. These are the rules. I said, you go to this specific place. You log into your Wi-Fi. You let me know you're there. And you do not leave the confines of this. You have an hour with this person to get to know each other.
Starting point is 00:01:41 and that's it. You do not leave. What if she says this? What if she says this? What if she says like, no, we're going to go to his place? Oh,
Starting point is 00:01:48 then she can, um, she knows, Issa knows that I am nice until the rules are broken. Okay. That, that is that a rule broken?
Starting point is 00:02:00 Yeah, it's an absolute hell fuck melt to me. It's absolutely no. If anything it has to do with her safety, it's a fuck melt. And then what if she goes, I don't care.
Starting point is 00:02:08 I think he's hot. You're on your own, find your own way back home, your ticket, over your head, you're on your own. If you want to risk your life, it's not going to be on my watch. So call your mom, let her know your plans. Because like, you know.
Starting point is 00:02:19 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or call Tito Bobby. Maybe he might. But she would never. She's not like that. Yeah, you can call me. And what would you do? A thumbs up emoji.
Starting point is 00:02:27 Oh, yeah. He doesn't even reply to me. I've tried sending him real. He doesn't even reply to me. But what's great about Issa is that. That's so rude. You never replied for? I don't think I have her number saved.
Starting point is 00:02:39 Well, she just got it. No, I messaged you on. Instagram. I even wished you. I don't follow you. Do I follow you? I think you do. But I wished you a happy birthday once and I never got a reply. Okay, can I just say something? All right. When it's my birthday, you know how many messages I get? I'm sorry to brag. Is it a bragging thing? But it's Isa.
Starting point is 00:03:00 You just said that you saw me as your daughter. I understand that, but she knows. She knows, okay? All right. But I did see the picture of the guy and he was like cute and he seemed like nice. What color? He's Mexican. That's fine. He's brown. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:39 Yeah, after. I just share after. Wait, wait. So you share before the fact when you have no information. Yeah. Yeah, and you share after. After everything.
Starting point is 00:03:49 Yeah. I have to say that I think that you, Juliana, what? What needs to take a step back? Step back from what? Going to the raves at 2 in the morning. Oh, my.
Starting point is 00:04:03 You're going to raves at 2 a 2 a morning? She goes, this is what she said. You don't know about this? I don't know about no raids. I know about the white guy. That, like, shocked me. Oh, no. This is what she does.
Starting point is 00:04:16 It's midnight. I go, where you going? She's downtown. Right? I'm like, what's downtown? She's like, a club. And I go, I'm going. She's like, no.
Starting point is 00:04:27 She won't let me go. You should just show up as like a. I know. And she says if I show up, she says she'll leave. Or like, don't like, don't talk to me. Yeah, don't talk to her. Just avoid. Just avoid.
Starting point is 00:04:38 We gotta. So Tito Bobby is just next to you. Yeah, yeah. And she says that I'm too old to go to a club. Yeah, why would you be at the club? You're 50 something. You know, this rule about like age and club is so fucking crazy to me. It's, it's 21 and up.
Starting point is 00:05:01 It's not 54 and down. Yeah. You know, You know what I mean? There's no rule like that. You know what I mean? But okay. Like, it's America.
Starting point is 00:05:13 I can go wherever I want to go. I'm going to defend you. I am going to defend you in that. They don't know how to club. They don't know how to do. I'm not sure you do, but I'm not sure you do. Why? I'm club fucking fanatic.
Starting point is 00:05:28 I've never seen you do it. I know, but in my 20s, dude, the club king. Really? What would you do? I go to Joseph's. You walk into the club. What's your first move? Well, first I go to the door when there's a line.
Starting point is 00:05:38 Three mile line, right? I go straight to the front. And I know the fucking got the, I remember his name, Joseph. Dorsive, okay. It's George's. All right. Jorcef. What's up, Jorcef?
Starting point is 00:05:58 Right. And he lets me ride in, right? Let's you ride in. In your car? I'm a horse. A pony. It's small enough to get through the corridor. You're right in your pony and then what?
Starting point is 00:06:13 Yeah, yeah. And then what I do is, oh, there's Timberlake. Oh, ew. That makes you sounds. Yeah, and I'm like dancing next to Timberlake. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? What's the guy?
Starting point is 00:06:26 The guy from American Idol. Simon Cowell? No, the gay guy. Randy Jackson. What? Clay Aiken. How did you know that's who he was thinking about? As he knows everything, dude.
Starting point is 00:06:38 He's Shaka all day, dude. Okay, so, you know what I mean? Clay Aiken's there. Back then, it was like a different crew. Okay. You know what I mean? And so it's like, I would go there every Monday. Every Monday?
Starting point is 00:06:51 Yeah, it was. Sound right. I feel like the club is closed. That's the only night, Jorzv is. It's the only night Jorsov was sorry. Because if Jorzv's, out there after waiting that long line. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:11 Yeah, so I would go Monday, but still packed. I feel like my 20s, the full club scene is something they'll never experience because it's like we were there with our little bandage dresses, six inch heels, fighting for our lives at the club and just like having, because
Starting point is 00:07:29 no one was videoing, no one was on their phone, everyone was just literally being a disaster all in the privacy of our own friends and I do, they'll never have that. They'll never have what we have. They'll never have it. Never.
Starting point is 00:07:43 Yeah, yeah. So, but do you know that she goes out late at night? I think I know. Well, she shares her location with me, but I have never checked it once. Can you believe that? Yeah. Keep checking it. I have never.
Starting point is 00:07:54 I'm never going to share it to you. I know. You're just going to be asking me. You're just going to be texting me all night. Yeah, yeah. I have, I do. Why are you there? So.
Starting point is 00:08:03 Yeah. Well, because I'll tell you why. What are you going to do? If she's like, okay, I'm out. with this guy and we're in his room. What's you gonna do? I'm gonna say who is. I mean, I would be like who is.
Starting point is 00:08:15 Well, she's not gonna tell me anyway. But if she did, I'd like, who the fuck is this person? You know what, what's happening? You know what I mean? But I know what she's doing? Have you ever heard of the term catching prints? You know, tell me about it. It's young terms.
Starting point is 00:08:33 Oh, you're gonna love this. Oh, it's like a new thing. Are we cooked? Yeah, you're cooked. I need you to stand. I need you to stand up, though. I think you're cooked for this one, for sure. Okay, so listen to this.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Yeah. Okay, so I actually think it applies more to, like, gay men, but gay men have mastered the art of catching print, and there's a guy on TikTok who explains it perfect. We're catching prints or prints? Prince, like the print of, like a marked print. Oh, I was talking about the guy from Minnesota. Why you always got to go back to Minnesota?
Starting point is 00:09:07 Prince. Okay, so. So this guy explains what catching print is. And catching print is basically looking at a man's area. When he's clothes, when he has jeans, sweats, whatever. And depending on where the peak is, you either are an A cup, a B cup, or you skip C and you go to D cup. Where are the cups? What do you mean?
Starting point is 00:09:25 So it's A. We can look at how big your penis is based on the print of this area. Okay, so A is good? A is no good. Oh, he's good. It's small. B is perfect. B is husband-dick.
Starting point is 00:09:37 All right. Print me. You're not say that to your nieces. Can I tell you? Okay, so you see his peak right there in the very middle. It's way above his balls, and that's not a good sign. So, okay, so how it works is the peak has in relation to where the ball sack end. So the higher the peak, the smaller the dick.
Starting point is 00:10:07 The lower the peak and closer to the ball sack, The bigger the penis. Just say A. I don't know. Just say A. I don't think there's anything wrong with any size, by the way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I.
Starting point is 00:10:20 You've seen it live in action. So I. All right. So you've seen it live in action, right? Is it still A? I think it's more like. Can the print be different from the live version? I would say like B minus.
Starting point is 00:10:37 Can someone help me? I would say like a B minus, yes. Yeah, it's okay. But I also have dick amnesia. No, can I tell you something that's so real? It's okay. I'm fucked. I literally don't remember.
Starting point is 00:10:48 I have dick amnesia. I don't remember anyone. Oh, you know, 10 years, Dick amnesia. I remember nothing. 10 years of, 10 years of it to get amnesia. Wow. Yeah, yeah, what? What is that?
Starting point is 00:11:06 That's sad. Yeah. A quarter of your life, Dick, You're amnesia. I think that's what happens. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But I will say, though, like, this isn't, like, a thing girls have, like, historically done is catchprint. I think it's, like, a gay men usually are better at this.
Starting point is 00:11:22 Yeah. But now I'm looking. Now since they, I've been. Guess what? What? Guys, catch print, too, guy. Yeah, because you're not yoga. We wear...
Starting point is 00:11:31 Yeah, yeah. And yours is a hovel. I call yours the abyss. I said B minus. All right. All right, it's like fucking deli sandwich. Oh, my. I mean, how does that feel?
Starting point is 00:11:46 Not bad. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Not bad. I think that you got really sad about B minus. So, like, what do you want to hear? No, B minus is fine. Yeah, that's what I thought. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:11:56 A, you know, is, I'd have to go to Turkey and get a surgery, I think. I don't think all surgeries are done in Turkey. I'd go somewhere else. That's for the hair. It's the cheapest way. Hair, yeah, hair. Oh, where do I get? Dick surgery. What country is the best place?
Starting point is 00:12:13 Thailand? Yeah, maybe Thailand? You think Thailand? Yeah. Yeah. I also just want to publicly apologize to Gilbert for all the years we made fun of you for being uncircised. Why? Because I really think that that's the way to go. I think that anything outside of that is like genital mutilation without consent. This is the dumbest. You want to go there?
Starting point is 00:12:37 I'm just saying. You want to go that, right? Yeah. His looks like a scared turtle It doesn't know Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, yeah I understand that
Starting point is 00:12:49 But what I'm saying is I don't think he knows I don't think he understands I don't think he knows what an uncirc Yeah I've seen him at the spa Oh yeah Yeah yeah
Starting point is 00:12:59 And it looks like a scared turtle It's in the shell I don't think so Not when it's fully erect Bobby it's out of its chief I've never seen it fully erect You know guys know guys know we know
Starting point is 00:13:11 We know. Yeah, it's an instinct. How? Based on what? I think it was the way we, when one guy mentions it that they are not uncircised, there's a smirk that goes around the room, we all kind of nod. I swear to God. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:13:23 I feel like you guys. We never have known Alex. Alex. On circumcise? Lifcott a Costa. Yeah, thank you. David's show. We call each other the bow tie boys.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Let me ask you something. Is there, I don't even know what he said. Boatie boys? Oh, bow tie boys. Oh, you guys, the boy. That's why you guys are so close. Is that what's the boys? separates between you and I that we can't get cloned?
Starting point is 00:13:43 You need to grow a little bit. I got to grow the skin over the... Yeah. Anyway, I didn't have a choice in that matter. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. Wait, are we celebrating your birthday here? Oh, yeah, happy birthday.
Starting point is 00:13:57 Happy birthday. 18 years old. What are you getting her, man? Oh, he got her something huge. Yeah, crazy. Crazy big. He doesn't even remember. What did I give you?
Starting point is 00:14:09 Chella. Are you kidding me? Coachella. You got her Coachella. Oh, that's right. Oh, fuck. I remember I have to go to that thing. Oh my gosh.
Starting point is 00:14:19 You have to go. Can I tell you why you have to go? I'm not going. You have to sit there. No, Carlos is going to go. I know, but you... Oh, but... Oh, Carlos Herrera's going.
Starting point is 00:14:29 I'm not going. No, you have to go. I don't want to go. The strokes, David Byrne, even if you don't care about Sabrina Carbenter and other stuff, there are cool bands still there. But what am I going to do during Sabrina Carbinder? You can leave home. You can leave. You can go for just the bands that you like, even if they're in the day and then go home.
Starting point is 00:14:46 I'm going to do that. Les Sabrina Carper. I'm going to go out. I want her to see me walk out. I'll make a face. I'll be out. Silly. No, I don't know her.
Starting point is 00:15:02 I'm sure she's very talented. She's really talented. But, Issa, that's your birthday gift to her. Remember she asked for it, last family up and you gave her other gifts. But that's her other gifts. That's huge is what we're saying. Free rent. No?
Starting point is 00:15:17 Cash. Yeah, yeah. Was it better than some would say. Yeah. She was really happy about that. She came in. She's like, but, Tita Bobby gave me 200 bucks. I got to go buy an outfit.
Starting point is 00:15:32 That was for your fucking phone. She got that. She did. Yeah. Yeah, but she needs more. Let me say something. She needs more, what do you call it? Data.
Starting point is 00:15:41 Well, I sent them on her birthday. You can tell them what you did. Oh, we went to, we went to this fancy restaurant. Which one that's called? Striip steak. We went there at the first night we were here. It was really good. It was really good, right?
Starting point is 00:15:55 Yeah. And then we went to a live show right after. What live show? It was called Secret Spot, and then I wanted to stay, like, for so long. Who played? It was like a local. Yeah. We were really good, though.
Starting point is 00:16:11 You don't even know the name? I wasn't there. I just gave him my credit card. I don't know. And it was good? It was good. Yeah. What kind of music?
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Starting point is 00:22:20 And it's a philosophical question, and it's something that I've asked myself, and I think I'm leaning toward a certain direction. Okay. So when I was on the cruise, there was a famous cover band that was on the cruise. And in my mind, I'm like, I question, like, how does it feel?
Starting point is 00:22:41 It's like, to me, it felt like, You know, me, a comedian telling somebody else's jokes. You know what I mean? But when I actually saw them play, I was like, holy shit, they're so good. You know what I mean? And, you know, to me, it's like, no, it's a valid form of expression in art. And it's, they were so good. Like, it sounded even at times better than the original or whatever.
Starting point is 00:23:06 And they're super entertaining and they're wearing wigs. You know what I mean? And they're having a blast. and the audience loves it and I think that it's a good thing so I'm not, you know what I mean? I'm sure they were really good and they played all the classics
Starting point is 00:23:20 like can you tell me a song that they played? They did Love I by The Green? The Green. Yeah. What the fuck is that? Probably doesn't know who the green is. Yeah. Is they're brown or no? They're brown.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Oh, they're brown. Yeah. So it's a band called The Green but they're brown. They've been around forever. They have such like So good. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:23:42 Really? It's something that you think that I would like, because you know my taste. No, absolutely not. Why? Because I think you're, you know, it's so funny, we actually, I remember there was this one song by, it's a junior Mervyn song. I think it's called, it's Police and Thieves. And you had the audacity to tell me that this is a song by The Clash. And I was like, no, this is a Junior Mervin song.
Starting point is 00:24:07 That's because you do not respect reggae. You do not respect. Oh, I'm sorry. What did I play in the fucking car? You're such a fraud. You're a fraud. You're a fraud. You're a cavernous fraud.
Starting point is 00:24:19 You're a fraud. You're a liar. You're a liar. But was it like his playlist? Yep. You put it on. Or just the radio. No, I put it on.
Starting point is 00:24:29 He turned on the rental car. Who was it? Who was it? Bob Marley. Oh, he's not Reagan. He's the king of Reagan. Of course, but he's easy. Is it?
Starting point is 00:24:41 If you preferred any reggae, you're on an island. You could pick one reggae artist. Who would you pick? Not Bob Marley. There's so many. You just betrayed me so badly here. I'm never using your studio. Yeah, this is the lesson you ever see me.
Starting point is 00:24:58 I'll tell you that. Okay, so Bob Marley makes sense, of course, because he's like so universally loved, right? But I'm just saying, like, the vast majority of other stuff that I've had you listen to, you're just like, nah, this isn't for me. me. And then we got into that big conversation because you're like, oh, it's just to me it sounds so unoriginal. And then you fought me about the police and thieves song, which you were like, this is the clash. And I was like, no, it's not. And because you have no respect
Starting point is 00:25:22 for the classics. Okay. It's so much to unravel here, right? Because I'm trying to get my emotions under control. And I'm trying to be mindful and respectful, okay? Fuck you. Fuck off. Right? You're right about that. Because I didn't know that it was a cover. Right? And I think that when I...
Starting point is 00:25:48 It's not that I didn't have respect for reggae. I always have to win the argument. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I think that in that specific case, I was trying to win an argument. Okay? Not that I was like disparaging a genre of music.
Starting point is 00:26:05 Mm-hmm. Okay. I believe you. Yeah. It's just, it doesn't, it doesn't tickle your soul in a way. It does tickle my skull soul. Your school. All right.
Starting point is 00:26:16 Tickles your whole. Yeah, it tickles my soul. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, my friend and I got on a fight the other night about spirituality. Hell, yeah, yeah. And I take the opposing thing, you know what I mean? He is such a contrarian to the point where it's like, it's almost better that you
Starting point is 00:26:35 don't talk to him about anything that you want him to agree with. Just take the opposing stance so that the stands he will counter with is the stance you actually believe in. Yeah, just trick him. And so when he says, no, I believe this. And you're like, you know what? Yeah, you're right. Then because otherwise, like, oh, being like around you and you're such a contrarious, exhausting. You do that with Mama.
Starting point is 00:26:58 What do I do? What are some of the things? Like movies? No, like the biggest one was. Oh, it's just the, I know what you're talking about. talking about it's the lighting if he's yeah but I like but I like lighting fires you could see it in his eyes like he was just having so much fun while I was screaming at my mom yeah yeah I like there was a you know how like if you could describe somebody by
Starting point is 00:27:20 like a title of a book Bobby would be little fires everywhere by Celeste yeah yeah yeah you like to just light it up yeah like lighting it up yeah it's fun really yeah it's fun not if it's serious that's not fun? Like if somebody had like a disease, you know what I mean? Let's make a disease. Let's make a disease out. He has clafaria.
Starting point is 00:27:50 Yeah, yeah. What clifaria does is that, you know what I mean, your nose falls off. Yeah, and one eyebrow, right? Only one. Right? And then, you know, that hand is always shock up. But both hands. Always does that, right?
Starting point is 00:28:07 Okay. That sounds like arthritis. That's what I would say. Like rheumatoid arthritis. Like you don't have cloparius. Dude, you have arthritis. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:28:16 And also it's like, you know what I mean? Wash your nose. So dumb. In your face, you know what? Yeah, in your face. You know what I mean? It wouldn't fall off if you wash your nose. What is this anymore?
Starting point is 00:28:33 Look at her face, dude. It's dumbfounded right now. Yeah, like I would do that, even though I would believe that he does have clifarius. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. You know, like one eyebrow cup. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:28:47 Yeah. Why'd you shave that, dog? It just fell off. I mean, no, dog, you shaved it. Yeah. Yeah. Just to, you know, light a little fire. But I feel like that the people know that I'm lighting the fire, though.
Starting point is 00:29:00 Yeah, we do. Yeah, so that's, yeah, but you know that I'm lighting a fire. Yeah, but mama doesn't. What? Mama doesn't. And she's like Bobby takes money. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because she really believes in my fires.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Yeah. You know, your mom's like, oh, she's like a fire. You know what I mean? I'm going to like one. Or put more gasoline on it. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah, but I don't think that I do it if I'm brand,
Starting point is 00:29:29 meeting somebody for the first time. I don't love fires. No. You know what I mean? It's like I. I wait until they know that I light fires. Do you understand what I'm saying? No.
Starting point is 00:29:42 You don't? No, because I feel as though it's 50-50. There are times where you meet someone for the first time, and I'm always like, I hope that they know he's Bobby Lee because he's about to say some shit that's like so, like, it's the word off-color, that I hope they know he's joking.
Starting point is 00:30:00 And sometimes you take a shot, you take a swing, and you miss, and I look at the person and I'm like, he's a comedian. He's just joking. And then I feel uncomfortable. Last night, we had that. Last night, there was a moment of I could have died.
Starting point is 00:30:14 You see what I'm saying? So what happened was, we were walking down the street and there was a man, right, in a full-blown, like, suit, but it was like a black suit, right? And it was like a dirty black suit. But he was a young Mexican guy, right? He had mascara, long hair, right, and a little bit of ruse.
Starting point is 00:30:35 You know what I mean? And a little bit of maybe like lip lipstick. Like a tint? Yeah. And he goes, are you Bobby Legge? Are you a vampire? Right? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:30:44 And there was a second, right? And then another lady walked by, I go, I go, have you ever met a Hawaiian vampire? Right? And I could tell there was a second where I, like, am I going to get a punch in the face? But he goes, can I get a photo? You know what I mean? Because Hawaiian vampires love me. And that's what you have to understand.
Starting point is 00:31:03 I mean, that's the point. That's a swing, though. Yeah, yeah. No, it's not a swing, dude. Hawaiian werewolves and Hawaiian vampires, the zombies don't like me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And also the mummies. The Hawaiian mummies, they don't like me.
Starting point is 00:31:15 But I know my demographic. I know my demographic. And Hawaiian vampires and Hawaiian werewolves like me. Okay? And I've seen the Hawaiian werewolves as well. They're more inland. In the island. But anyway, what's so uncomfortable?
Starting point is 00:31:32 But he already knew who, who you were. So I feel like that's a safe interaction. Oh yeah, I would never like, if he was sitting next to me in an elevator, he didn't know what I was like, and go, are you a Hawaiian vampire? That would be insane.
Starting point is 00:31:46 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that would be absolutely insane. But sometimes you do take those swings and I'm like terrified to be around you. Like usually I just look the other way. When was the last swing you all took on a joke in public? Do you remember?
Starting point is 00:31:58 And you were so embarrassed? She sees it all the time. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Okay, now that you know, you've been friends for a long time, how far away do you stay away from him at the TSA line? Oh, my God. She knows. She knows about it.
Starting point is 00:32:18 No, I just turned and stuff like I'm not with him. Okay, great. That's the tactic I used as well, which is like, right, pretend like we're not here together, right? Perfect. That's how I did it. That's how I survived. and she's just, you know, doing the same thing. It's the only way to be around you in the airport.
Starting point is 00:32:37 Truly, you're like just... I don't like control. I think to behold. I don't like control. And I'll tell you this. My friend Ramsey told me a secret. And I do the Ramsey-Badawi secret, which is when you go to the, you know,
Starting point is 00:32:58 you have to show your ID at that checkpoint. And then we need to take a photo. right? I go no it's illegal what do they say? They go all right really? Really? You can say no to that? Yeah yeah well he says
Starting point is 00:33:13 I probably he says something like very like attorney like or law like you mean like I withdraw my you know he says something Does he do it for fun? No he No well he's you know Persian so he doesn't want to Oh that's right right so he goes I mean
Starting point is 00:33:30 I mindfully and thoughtfully you know what I mean will not participate in this you know what I've you done that though I go no you just don't know yeah and what do they say
Starting point is 00:33:40 they have to go all right yeah that's good to know yeah it's good to know I mean they don't what are you what's going on here
Starting point is 00:33:50 you're taking my photo why you know I mean let's get back to the girls let's grill them yeah yeah so how many dates have you been on Issa
Starting point is 00:33:59 I've been on two two Which one did you like the most? Wait, too. Who was the other one? The white guy. I didn't know about him. Oh.
Starting point is 00:34:08 Okay, so here's a thing. The girls are dipping their toes into the white sands this year. White sands. I've always dipped into white sands. Yeah, I'm a white sands. Ozzy, you like white sands? I like all sands. He's so political this guy.
Starting point is 00:34:26 Yeah. But not all sands are the same. I'm a black sand. No, wait, wait. Not all sands are the same. Okay, good. I'm a black sand beach kind of girl. I like dark sand.
Starting point is 00:34:35 I know you do. Yeah. You like dark sand. Dark. Darker, the better, yeah. Big pebbles. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I like yellow sand, little pebbles.
Starting point is 00:34:47 Yeah. Little grains of sand. Yeah, yeah. Wait, you went on a date with a white sand? Yeah, but. I met him at the, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What was what white sand's like?
Starting point is 00:34:59 He's taller. He has, um, he's taller. White sands usually are. He has a mustache. White sand, massage, yeah. And he seems nice. I understand. But then she has another crush on island.
Starting point is 00:35:15 What do you mean? Just, you know. That's a crush. Just a crush. A crush on an island? On brown sands. On brown sands. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:35:24 No. No, you don't got it. But he's a, yeah, like a little star athlete. Is he, let me ask you, can I ask you a specific? Is it black sand or brown sand? I like, I literally, I have dipped all my toes into all the sands. Oh. I don't like that image, brother.
Starting point is 00:35:44 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Beaches in Nigeria, beaches. Just Nigeria beaches? I don't know, yeah, yeah. Beaches in Argentina. Beaches in Long Beach, I see it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So you've been all over the world.
Starting point is 00:35:57 If they're cute, they're cute. You have feet. He was struggling with the F there. Don't be rude. Sorry. I have a facial impediment, so I can say it. Yeah, Harvey Dent. All right, so you like sands from all over the world.
Starting point is 00:36:17 Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about you? I like all, too. You like all sands, yeah. But like sands nice, huh? Yeah. I mean, with the blue ocean. It's okay.
Starting point is 00:36:30 It's okay. You can see the pink cold. Oh, my gosh. Everyone went like, ugh. Do not, the ocean doesn't have pink coral. I have, look at the coral in my neck. Exactly, like that. It's orange.
Starting point is 00:36:45 It's what I'm saying. It's Mediterranean. It's not pink, it's orange. Whatever it is. It's coral coral. Yeah, to me it's pink. Let's move on from that then. Pink coral is really pretty, though.
Starting point is 00:36:58 It is very pretty in the blue, in the white sands. That's all I'm trying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All sands. The blue is the blue eyes. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. The sands is the color of the skin.
Starting point is 00:37:08 Yeah. And the coral is whatever it might be. Whatever you interpret the coral, whatever you interpret the coral to be. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, yeah, so you like all sands. So you have a crush on brown sand right now. Mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:37:24 What's going on? Does he know you exist? He knows. Yeah. I just don't get him. What kind of athlete is? It's like football. I feel like everyone plays football.
Starting point is 00:37:33 Hawaii, just guess. Rugby. The biggest, go ahead. Yes. He already now. What is it? Let me try to guess. By your fan.
Starting point is 00:37:44 Basketball. Oh, fuck. Oh, I know, I know that new slapping UFC thing that they do. Power slap? Yeah. Diving, diving, diving, diving, diving. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:37:58 I know what it is, volleyball. Yes, volleyball. Volleyball He's a professional volleyball Are we going to a UH game? Later Okay nice That seems like a sport that I wouldn't like to go live
Starting point is 00:38:17 It's super fun We've been going, it's so cool You should go tonight, Bobby UH is it's so good and fun and exciting Yes Packed Packed You guys are going
Starting point is 00:38:31 Yeah. You're going to? I know. At our hotel, there's a lot of Japanese. Do you have a problem with that? Well, a lot of them... I love that seg. Oh, yeah, the segue.
Starting point is 00:38:45 Yeah, well, I'm on Lexa Pro, so my segways are off. Sorry. Lexapro, the anti-segmentation. Well, I can't come either. You know that, right? I know that feeling. Yeah, yeah. It's terrible.
Starting point is 00:38:58 SSRIs for a long time. It's terrible. And I... It's like, you want to have... sex and it feels good and you cannot but that you will eventually get there just give it more time I don't know what are you on at 10 milligrams 5
Starting point is 00:39:10 10 yeah you're good you're gonna get it back it just it just takes a while but it really is helping with everything that's what I hear with the ruminating thoughts it's like 70% gone really yeah it really helps with that it's really interesting like stuff that I would be jealous of
Starting point is 00:39:29 you know because I get jealous yeah You know what I mean? And I go, what the fuck, right? Right, I don't, it's like a second and then it's gone. Rather than like if I get jealous and then two hours it will go by, three hours, and I'll still think about it. Yeah. You know, one of the new jealousies that was a second.
Starting point is 00:39:50 But I know that if I wasn't on Lexa Pro, I would dwell on it for three days is, remember McCone texts me, remember I helped you with this audition, right? and we worked on it for a day, well, this is it. And it was Rory Scoville that got it. It's an HBO Steve Carell thing. Yeah. And, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:40:08 I don't know. Because I think he's against me. But for a split second, I'm like, but then I watched the clip and I'm like, he did such a better job than I did in the audition. Yeah. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:40:22 He's such a great actor. He's such a great stand-up. He's so likable. And I was just like, yeah, fuck it. You know what I mean? But I think that I would have been like dwelling on it for days maybe. Yeah. You know, I could now watch myself in things because I've watched my special a couple of times through, which is a miracle.
Starting point is 00:40:42 Wow. It's a miracle to because, you know, remember when we went to the reservation dogs premiere? Yeah. I had to walk out of the room when my scene was going to come up, remember? And I watched it from the side almost, but I'm like, oh, it's pretty good. So I sat back down. You're also just very much a part of the process. Like you've been sending me like different fonts, different opening like clips and montages.
Starting point is 00:41:03 Yeah. And those are things that you would not have participated in at all. You would have been like whatever, whatever. Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, not want to see it at all. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I feel like that's really cool that like you're like. Well, I send you awful things too.
Starting point is 00:41:17 I can't even watch like fake animal abuse because I was like, oh, I don't think this show is for me after that scene. Because I was like, I cannot watch like an animal fake dye. I mean, I've said this before on this podcast, and it's the movie signs. I love that movie, but it's like there's a scene where they boarded up the house and they hear their dog getting murdered by an alien. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:41:44 And in my mind, I was like, he comes in before the kids. Together. No, first. Not together. Maybe together. Yeah, yeah. But I'm just saying he's a part of like,
Starting point is 00:41:56 you know what, come on, fluffo. Yeah. You know what I mean? Get in. They should have died. What do you mean? The family. The family should have died.
Starting point is 00:42:07 You think so. Yeah. They left their dog outside. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You die too. You die too. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:14 Yeah. And they hear it getting slaughtered. And it's like, why would anybody, you know what I mean? Yeah. Any animal, you know, when they, you know what I mean? Which makes me think that. M. Night Shyamalan is not an animal lover. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:29 Because it's like a true animal lover won't take like creative liberties to make an animal die outside like that. Like that brings me no joy as someone watching a movie. Yeah. The redemption would be like, oh my God, he got in last minute and here he is with us. Like that's such a more feel good. I rewatched 2014 Godzilla. Uh-huh. And there's a scene.
Starting point is 00:42:52 Is that one with Moto? What's his name? What's his name? Yeah, yeah. Motto. Motto, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, that is a motto.
Starting point is 00:43:00 Yeah, those two. Which one is this? Mothra. Oh, Mothra. Yeah, yeah. Mothra. We watched it in the movies. I just forgot.
Starting point is 00:43:12 Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, the one with Brian Cranston. I like that one. So, yeah. So there's a scene in Hawaii when a tsunami's coming in. Well, it's really Godzilla rising, which is causing a tsunami. And there's a fan. family at the Hilton, which is, by the way, right, a human death trap.
Starting point is 00:43:33 The Hilton, the Hilton village right here? Imagine staying at the Hilton. In Wikiki. Yeah. It would be a nightmare for me, I think. One time you were in line because one of your jobs put you at the Hilton. Oh, it's my MPI. I remember that.
Starting point is 00:43:46 And then you cried. You called me crying. I cried. Not only did I cry. Not only did I cry. I call the producers. I go, I'm not staying here. I'm going to pay for my own hotel.
Starting point is 00:43:56 Yeah, and you ended up staying at the Lalo, which you love. At the Lalo, which I love. You're like, I've been in line for an hour and a half. It's like, I know, but I cried. You know what I? You were really in a bad way. Yeah, because it was like, I felt like a human death trap. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:44:11 You know what I mean? And I go, I'll pay for my own hotel. You know, it's a TV show, it's fine. You know what I mean? And it's like, but what was it? Oh, yeah, so in Godzilla, when Godzilla rises, there's a dog, you know what I mean, tied to a tree. And the family runs without the dog.
Starting point is 00:44:34 Dumb. Right? Makes me so mad. Because the first thing I would do, I think the family had a kid too. But I would still have the kid. It was like a, you know what I mean? And I would grab the leash, untie him and run with the dog. But at the last second, the dog gets out.
Starting point is 00:44:50 Oh, thank God. Yeah, yeah. And they show the dog. I think the dog died because they don't show that part. The wave was way too big for the dog to survive. But my point of the being is that at least that he did escape. In that situation, because Goby's my dog too, Gobi's not tied, but what do you do with Gobi?
Starting point is 00:45:08 We're running together, baby. That's my girl. Oh, so you think that she's my girl too. Yeah. You can't run. Yeah, you both. You'd trip on third step. If a Loa was there, he would carry everyone.
Starting point is 00:45:22 And you included. Yeah. But you? You carry everyone. On his shoulders. And then Golby would be on top of yours. Yeah, that's what D's do. All right.
Starting point is 00:45:32 D's cover everybody. I'm a B minus. I call him a shirt. Yeah, yeah. I need to be carried. I call him a shirt papa. Yeah, yeah. He's such a Sherpa.
Starting point is 00:45:40 He can carry. Oh, yeah. Everything. I'll give him this, right? I would, I think that he would be better at decision maker. For sure. Of course. Wait, wait, wait, wait, what?
Starting point is 00:46:00 What? Aloha is just better. Wait, wait. If it's between you and him, I would just go to Aloha to survive. Oh, so you wouldn't go my direction. Give different scenarios, maybe. I'll give you a different. I'll give you scenarios.
Starting point is 00:46:21 Okay. Aloha, me and you, we're at the beach. Yeah. Right? tsunami's coming in. Okay? Yeah. Aloha goes, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:46:29 Let's go this way. And I go, no, I think it's better this way. You're going to go with him? Yeah. Okay. I'm going to tell you this list right now wrong. Why? Because I value my life.
Starting point is 00:46:40 Are you think Aloha does it? No. I don't. Go ahead, he said. But the way Aloha does it is he's like, oh, but the wave looks like it's going near. He's like 10 steps like... He knows about... I know about currents.
Starting point is 00:46:54 Not like a lot of things. Yeah, I know about currents. Aloha is salt of the earth. He is so a man of the ocean. I'm the pepper of the earth. He's pop up asin. Yeah, we call it. Everyone calls me the pepper of the earth.
Starting point is 00:47:08 Okay. And what is what? What does that mean? What is salt of the earth mean? Okay. Oh, give him the definition of the earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:47:18 Yeah. Yeah. the earth, dude. I'll tell you this right now. You can't have one without the other. All right. Either one wins in that situation. Okay. So what I'm saying is that you don't know. Can I just say something about salt and pepper? The big difference. Okay, tell me the difference. A human cannot live without salt. You can live without pepper. I can't. You can live without pepper. It's not an essential thing to have in your body. Give me the difference of salt of the earth. Salt of the earth refers to people who are honest, reliable, fundamentally good, often representing the best of both humble elements of society.
Starting point is 00:47:53 Pepper of the earth. It's not a common idiom like salt. But rather, a phrase sometimes used to describe the hottest natural chili peppers on earth. Dude, bro. You're hot. You want to go where the heat is, dude. Follow the heat. Follow the heat, dude. Don't follow a good person.
Starting point is 00:48:16 You follow the guy that wants to survive. That will do anything to survive. You know that's true because Bobby is what I always call a cockroach. Yeah, McCarach. He could live without his head for 20 days. For 20 days, dude. He is a survivor, so I wouldn't knock him completely. I did remember when Julio escaped and you were the one that ran towards him.
Starting point is 00:48:37 Yeah, I'm... And you were getting bitten and just bleeding. Do you know about this? So, you know, Julio... That's pepper shit. Yes, pepper shit. So one time, Julio escaped the home,
Starting point is 00:48:50 and then Bobby, it was your fault, so you had to be lost to your right here. No, that wasn't, oh my God, anyway. Someone left the gate open. That wasn't any of us. It's no one's fault. And also... So you ran out into the neighborhood in your underwear,
Starting point is 00:49:01 bare feet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then a guy with a husky, because Julio then tried to attack a man with a husky. No, there was a woman with a scarf as well. That was second. That was after. You almost got maced.
Starting point is 00:49:12 Oh, that's right. Okay, okay, okay, okay. So, and then Julio then approaches the man with a husky, and then the man's, and then the man has pepper spray on him. And instead of trying to pepper spray Julio, he accidentally peppers sprays a naked Bobby on the street. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then said, Julio runs up, finds a woman with a skirt.
Starting point is 00:49:30 Scarf. The scarf. And he starts trying to bite her neck. Yeah. And I just grabbed Julio by the fucking neck. And then Julio bites him, put holes in the memory. Yeah, yeah. It was like the platoon cover.
Starting point is 00:49:42 I mean, just like, I'm the pepper of the earth. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm the pepper of the earth, dude. Yeah, yeah. Shame on you. And you know what, Jules got. Shame on you. Shame on you. Shame on you.
Starting point is 00:49:57 All right. May shame overcome you. May you be drowned by the shame. Too late. Okay. All of you. Because, um, I'm a survivor.
Starting point is 00:50:13 And in that situation, and God forbid we don't get in that situation, but I would really strongly advise you, you specifically to Luwiana, to follow me. Okay, in that situation. I know you're not, I know you're not going to, right? You're going to follow, you know what I'm going to be? Aloha, right?
Starting point is 00:50:31 But at the end of the day, there'll be two boxes waiting for you. And I'll be the one that alive. What are the boxes? They're like caskets. That's what they... Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right. So if you want to live, run with me.
Starting point is 00:50:46 Are there any situations where you would follow Bobby? What is something you would trust him in? I don't think she's going to say anything. There's no way she's going to come up with anything. I think anything with, like, technology. I think they took Bobby. Yeah. Technology?
Starting point is 00:50:59 Yeah. You're really good. Okay. He's like that. It's like, um. That's it. Yeah, I get, how do you log into your Instagram? No, in a survival, in a survival's into way.
Starting point is 00:51:21 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. Just say no, then. No, there are. I can think of a couple things. Okay, think of stuff that you would follow. I think that you would be a better getaway driver. Because you're so reckless and wild.
Starting point is 00:51:40 Like, the way you drive. is like crazy, right? Yeah, yeah. So I feel as though you do have the technical skills of like someone that would be in like... Tokyo Drift style. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm Tokyo Drift all the way. He's a very good driver and he drives like big trucks and stuff like that.
Starting point is 00:51:54 But you're like just erratic. Crazy. Yeah, yeah. You're crazy. I don't follow the rules. No, and you're fearless. So you're just like, you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:52:03 Yeah. Like I speed up when I see a speed bump. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like that. So I, so getaway driver. Okay, that's a good one. I would think here's where we would really need you as a family.
Starting point is 00:52:15 Underground bunker. Oh, dude, I'm bunker city. Because we don't have the money. That has nothing to do with... Technology. Yeah, but that has nothing to do with a skill set. I mean, you would pay Aloha to build it, but we would still need the money. I don't have that much money to build a bunker?
Starting point is 00:52:35 I think we could. As a family, couldn't we all put our money together? Yeah, yeah. And get like a bunker. or somewhere? I mean, I did buy Balenciaga slippers. I heard.
Starting point is 00:52:46 Are those it? Yeah. So it looks like a kid just spray painted on some slides. I'm like mad at it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get mad.
Starting point is 00:52:55 You know, but... Have you ever heard of what's it called? You know the term like altruism, right? Yeah. You know what altruism means, which is like
Starting point is 00:53:07 when people like give out of like the goodness of their heart or whatever. You know he was good at that as Andrew. He is? Did he do Andrew? Santino. What does he give to?
Starting point is 00:53:18 He's highly involved with Special Olympics. Oh, that's cool. And so he set up a baseball game between comics and the people that he's trying to help. And it was a really beautiful day, you know. And he's out there with his megaphone and giving people, like, directions. He's a little controlling, but like, you know me? You know what? You're a little controlling.
Starting point is 00:53:44 But, no, he has a really, really good heart. You know what I mean? So that's altruistic. It is altruistic. Yeah, yeah. That's super cool. Yeah. Gilbert, once in the last time I had an outburst?
Starting point is 00:53:54 Oh, yeah, with me right before Remy died. Oh, yeah. That wasn't an outburst. You cussed me out. I know. That was an outburst. Motion's running high, though. Motions were running high.
Starting point is 00:54:05 No, he was just having diarrhea and he was mad. So he calls me. on the day that my that ebb goes into Sephora and I'm like this is my special day blah blah blah and as I'm there he's just like I need help like it's coming out both ends I have diarrhea I can't stop vomiting so I was like okay fine when do you get in so we can get you like an IV nurse so everyone coordinates my sister coordinates we get him an IV nurse as soon as he lands at midnight she comes in he starts to feel better and then get on the phone with him and I'm like You know, we get into a conversation, but then he starts being an absolute asshole.
Starting point is 00:54:43 He starts saying, you know, fuck you are you like that, blah, blah, blah. So I was like, you don't get to talk to me like that. And I hang up, right? Right? You don't talk to me for days after that. No, it was one day because then the next day had to tell you that we had, Remy was not feeling good. One day.
Starting point is 00:54:56 Yeah. But that was the last outburst. But you cannot like, you can't like yell at the people who are trying to fix your diarrhea, bro. Everyone was taking care of you. Everyone. Literally, like my sister was there at midnight with a nurse. They were all around him.
Starting point is 00:55:09 They were taking pictures of him. He was like there like a queen on the bed. I'm like you can't attack us. Okay, I'm sorry. I apologize. It's not just diarrhea. Okay? Let me tell you something, okay?
Starting point is 00:55:23 Like the print, there's levels. There's levels to diarrhea. Okay. Right? There's one squirt and I'm done. Kai type of diarrhea. Okay? There's intermentent, intermittent diarrhea.
Starting point is 00:55:40 I like intermittent. Intermentin diarrhea. Where it's like, it's done. You wait an hour. It's not done. Right. Have you ever been in that situation? Oh, yeah.
Starting point is 00:55:52 Oh, yeah. Two hours later, I'm back. Yeah, I mean, like that dog running from that tsunami. Right, from the bed to the toilet. You know what I mean? Like, I'm going to die. Okay. Then there's Pompeii.
Starting point is 00:56:07 the island of Pompeii, right? Eruptions, right? And it kills all the villagers, right? That's what, I had that on both ends. I know, and then your mom... Pompeii through my mouth, Pompeii through my butt. Your mom was like, picking up the diaper. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Yeah. You know, it's wear a diaper, and she was cleaning your pool on your bed. You can't attack us during those times. Did I attack her when I did that? No. Okay. When Pompey happens, right? When Pompey happens, okay?
Starting point is 00:56:37 I did not attack her. I was very grateful that she did that. Right. And yes, there was poo on my path. Yeah, that's what she said. But then I was like, you know what? Like, I'm just going to forgive him because I think he's got little electrolytes. He's not thinking straight.
Starting point is 00:56:50 Thank you so much. I had no electrolytes, actually. Thank you very much. Okay. So, you know, in that situation, when you have Pompeii, no electrolytes. Okay? All right. Also, that week was the worst week of my life.
Starting point is 00:57:06 Why? Because I went from SAC At night, got in at 3 in the morning Then three hours later I had to go to Philadelphia Right And then that's when Pompey happened Right
Starting point is 00:57:17 And then straight to San Jose Right So it was like And that was all in like A five day period Of like no sleeping Pompey happening Working
Starting point is 00:57:28 You know It was a tough week The Wigovi I took too much of it Yeah And so I'm switching medications Because it makes me vomit and Pompeii all over again.
Starting point is 00:57:39 And we had to talk the next day because, you know. Our dog died. I know. What's weird is sometimes I take the dogs out myself and I have to go grab Remy because he can't walk, right? And I opened the door and I went in to grab Remy, but he was gone. You know what I mean? It's those little moments where you're like, fuck.
Starting point is 00:58:04 I know, right? Yeah. You just get used to there. little bodies being somewhere in a corner of your house. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I've been, what I also is happening is I'm spending way more time with animals than normal. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:58:21 I let Gooner in to spend the day with me in my, because I don't let the cats in my room, but I let Gooner in, and we played under the cover sheets. Oh, unders. Yeah, unders. Yeah, yeah. So I made a cave, you know, with the blanket. And he went in, right? And I closed the cave, right?
Starting point is 00:58:39 And I do it with the finger thing where he chases my finger. You know what I mean? Yeah. And I spent like an hour doing that with him because of Remy. And also, Remy saved me because that's why I quit smoking. Really? Oh, yeah. I didn't know that.
Starting point is 00:58:55 Today's, so I've been, it's been 14 days. That's crazy. Yeah. How's it been? Well, I do Zins and stuff. Oh. But that's still nicotine. Yeah, I mean, that's still way better than a cigarette, I feel, right?
Starting point is 00:59:09 I mean, I put my zen here. I'm going to put it back on my mouth. But gross. Yeah. Dude, all her micro reactions to you are insane. Was that gross? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But that made me go, it's, that's death.
Starting point is 00:59:31 Everyone's going to die. And I love my life so much. I'm like, what about my... I was like two days after Remy died. I was smoking and I looked at the cigarette and I was like, what am I doing? You know what I mean? Like, what the fuck am I doing?
Starting point is 00:59:46 And I put it out and I just made a decision. Wow. Yeah, yeah. It was like a decision. That's awesome because your colonoscopy is coming up. That's another decision. I woke up early in the morning to get that interview so that I can have it.
Starting point is 01:00:00 Interview? It was a doctor's appointment. I called it interview. And I got the job. I got the job. I got the job after one interview. They go, yes, sir, we're going to do what. This is where I need everyone to really come together as a family.
Starting point is 01:00:16 I'm worried you're not going to prep correctly. How do you prep? He cannot eat. He has to only drink clear liquids. He has to take the last sentence. What is considered a clear liquid? Soups, broths. Erdogan bone broth.
Starting point is 01:00:30 So whoever is with him, whether somebody got to like. Bone broth. Gummies. But if they go up there and they see corn and like corn dogs or whatever, they're going to be like, we couldn't visualize. I haven't had a corn dog in four years. I love corn dogs. But I don't think that's a little fine.
Starting point is 01:00:49 Honestly, I was like, I've been craving one. So that was the first thing that came to my mind. I love corn dogs. What would they find if I did eat almonds? Yeah. Yogurt? You just need to be like clean. I quit doing that.
Starting point is 01:01:03 Serial? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been doing a deep dive into foods. Great. Process stuff? Yeah. So it's like, what did I buy the other day? Go take the mic and bring it to her. Well, we had to carefully examine what kind of water we were buying.
Starting point is 01:01:21 Great. Are you going on oasis? So microplastics done. Wait, you guys look at the water on oasis? That's the app, right? Yeah, it's an app, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, so no more Fiji.
Starting point is 01:01:32 No, Fiji's the worst. Yeah, yeah. more essentials. Essential is not good either. It's a lie. Yeah, yeah. So we got bottled Italian water. Is the Aquapana? No. No, that one
Starting point is 01:01:45 wasn't very good, I think. Really? It wasn't even good either. Yeah. But the Mountain Valley, I heard, is a little high in arsenic. No, we don't do Mountain Valley either. So we get foreign bottled water. Can you tell me which ones? The best one is Icelandic or something?
Starting point is 01:01:59 Icelandic is the best rated one. And that's what we're going to Smart water is okay Smart water if you have to go plastic It's 50-50 If you're gonna go smart water We do smart water at home But
Starting point is 01:02:12 We're doing that I also got a Isn't it crazy that like good water Is not free It like blows my mind It blows my mind Yeah it's such a It's a basic thing to stay alive
Starting point is 01:02:26 And it's somehow Something we have to buy Is fucking crazy What a world we live in It's another rabbit hole It's like charging for air I know It's like, you know what?
Starting point is 01:02:35 They'll probably do it if they could. Yeah, I'm doing that. And I got a purple sweet potato, Hawaiian. Oh, my God, I eat sweet potatoes every day. I bought a gigantic one this big. And she's like, when are you going to cook it? I go, I'm going to microwave it. Wait, can I cook it for you guys?
Starting point is 01:02:54 Okay, the way we do it, well, the way Aloha does it is. Oh, here we go. You know what I mean? You got to feel the ocean. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He does it so well. So he boils it first and then he slices it and then he charred it a little bit. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:03:10 So it's like this charred sweet potato, crispy, a skin. I don't have the time to do that. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to take a paper towel. Right. Wet it. Wet it. Yeah. Just let Mama cook it.
Starting point is 01:03:30 I'm doing it. I'm not going to bring it. LA. Yeah, yeah. They're going to definitely open my bag and what the fuck is this. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm eating it here, right? So I'm going to put in a paper towel, wet the paper towel and just microwave it.
Starting point is 01:03:44 This is crazy. Who are you? Yeah, I'm just going to microwave it. I'm, like, so happy that you're actually caring about this stuff. And when I get home, I'm going to do organic eggs. I'm just boil them. Apparently vital farms is a scam. Okay, okay.
Starting point is 01:04:00 All right. Yeah. I will never eat nerds again. That's crazy. You're still eating nerd. For the rest of my life. I will never eat nerds again. I will never eat a Reese's B peanut butter cup.
Starting point is 01:04:14 What? He was dead ass. He went, do you know donuts for good? You're giving up donuts? What about all the snacks that you get from Ketone? Yeah, I'm done. From Paris baguette? I'm done.
Starting point is 01:04:29 Done. That's crazy. Yeah, that's crazy. Yeah. done with, it's the number one killer. Yeah, yeah. I'm going on a... Are you going to go full like Gary Brecker, you know?
Starting point is 01:04:40 Yeah, I'm going to go full Steve-O. Oh, you know, I still have my placenta. Do you guys want placenta pills? What is the placenta? It's basically it is something that your body grows to help nourish the baby growing inside. It's inside. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:04:56 Yeah. And then... And then you have to birth it after the baby comes out. You have to birth the placenta after. Does it come weeks later? The same day, hopefully. But can you save it in your body? Yeah, then you save it in your body and do it two weeks later?
Starting point is 01:05:09 You can eat it? You can eat it. Oh, I heard people eat it. Yeah, people eat it. People eat it. People turn it into pills, put in their smoothies, stuff like that. Oh, I've never had a placenta move at Jamba Juice. They should have that. Placenta smoothie at Jamba Juice.
Starting point is 01:05:24 Do you put it on your skin at the? Yeah, I didn't breast melt on the skin. Yeah, because if you guys want breast milk, that's the ultimate. I tried that on you. If you guys are on a health game. Wait, wait. You've tried Auntie Kalala's breast milk. For my pimples.
Starting point is 01:05:39 For your pimples. And it worked? A little bit. It gave her. That means no. It gave her back me instead. Yeah, that means no. A little bit means no.
Starting point is 01:05:49 Yeah, it did not help. What is that? Kalala, you can make some money. $100. Let's sent a smoothie bag. $180 a smoothie bag. I know, but the reason I can't is because it got defrosted in the fire. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:05:59 How much smoothie? can you get out of one placenta? I'm not sure, but it's not like. You would think three, three smoothies. Yeah. Because I want 20% placenta in my smoothie. I can't do one percent placenta. You're not getting shit for that.
Starting point is 01:06:16 I would say breast milk. Breast milk is the way to go. There's a man on, it was like on some Netflix documentary a couple years ago where like he had cancer and he just went down this whole thing of like, I swear breast milk is what's going to heal me. And he went into remission. Obviously, that's like, you know,
Starting point is 01:06:31 liar, but he swears by it. Really? Yeah. Maybe I'll buy some placenta smoothie. No, placenta breast, you can buy breast milk online. Oh, breast milk. Yeah. Could I have some of your blessed milk? My blood?
Starting point is 01:06:46 Yeah, you can have some of my blessed milk, yeah. I said breast milk. You said breast milk. I said bless? Yeah. Breast milk. Yeah. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:07:04 Yeah, of course. Yeah, I have some frozen. Like how much, how much can I have? A couple ounces. Okay, that's a lot. Yeah. That's a lot of, yeah. Speaking of breast milk.
Starting point is 01:07:14 Friend. No, but have you seen the TV show Neighbors on HBO? Oh, no, I saw Neighbors like the Australian show. No, there's a new show on HBO called Neighbors. Watch episode seven, please. It's a documentary about Neighbors. Okay. It's a real life, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:07:34 I think Ben Saffty produces it. And it's on HBO, episode seven is the best television episode I've ever seen. Is it standalone episodes? Like I can just watch it without. Yeah. You'll watch episode seven. It's just every episode is two types. It's two, they show a story of two neighbors.
Starting point is 01:07:58 And they have some sort of grievance. You know what I mean? Like, for instance, see this table right here? This, like this size of plot land they're fighting over. Oh. You don't mow this because this is mine. Yeah. Then they get guns and they get, you know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:08:17 Surveillance cameras, right? But episode seven, there's only one guy. Yeah. They dedicate an episode to one guy. His name is Danny. I can say that. Right? Right.
Starting point is 01:08:29 And it is fucking crazy. I want to watch it. Yeah. It's 30 minutes like four. I love the concept. It's so good. It's so good, the show. Well, I want to talk about this.
Starting point is 01:08:41 We didn't finish about the whole altruism thing. I don't know if Danny was altruistic. But I listened to this hidden... He is not. Okay, he is not. Yeah, he is not. The opposite of it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:08:54 So I listened to this episode of Hidden Brain, and it's all about, like, altruism. And basically, this woman studies different kinds of people who help other people. but there's a type of altruistic person, and it's a scale. You're either completely sociopathic, which is like you have no empathy or completely altruistic. So there are people that are altruistic that have, naturally, but they have no empathy. No, no, no.
Starting point is 01:09:23 It's a spectrum. So there are people who, for instance, I'll give you an example. This lady studied anonymous kidney donors. And these are people who give their kidneys, not because a family member needs it. There are people who are just like, you know what? I think that now that I know that there are people who need kidneys, I'm just going to give mine and then never meet the recipient of this kidney donor. They just are so giving and altruistic that they want to do this nice gesture without anything in return.
Starting point is 01:09:55 There's a Stardue Valley reference here, bud. What is it? So in the game Stardue Valley, have you played it? Yeah. Yeah. Well, there's a lady that lives in a trailer named Pam. She drives the bus in town. Pelican Town.
Starting point is 01:10:13 The alcoholic? No, Shane's the alcoholic. That's, yeah, yeah. There's an alcoholic? No, no, no, no, do Pam does like mead. You're right, right, right, right. She does drink mead. But, um, how long have you been doing podcasting, bud?
Starting point is 01:10:31 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. How long are you doing podcasting, bud? Just continue. Just continue. You don't know how to use a mic. Just continue. Anyway, there's a lady, I don't know if people are interested. People, you know, I've been getting stopped a lot about Stardue Valley from people.
Starting point is 01:10:49 So I think people are interested. Have you heard of the game, Ozzie? Okay, so. And she has a daughter named Penny, and Penny's the town teacher. And they have a, they live in a trailer. And sometime in the game, right, Robin, who's the archit, she's a builder. What do you call it? Carbender.
Starting point is 01:11:16 She's a carpenter, right? So, very good. Thank you. And there's a choice where you can build Pam a house with your own money. It costs a lot of money, right? there's a little thing in the game where Robin
Starting point is 01:11:36 the Carpenter What is this sentence? I'm trying to think of all the detail I know because I'm trying to get it right Anyway So anyway there's a point where
Starting point is 01:11:51 Robin goes Should I tell You know what I mean? Pam and Penny that you built it Or do you want to remain anonymous And I always go anonymous Oh. You know what I mean?
Starting point is 01:12:03 And it's like, you know, I mean, because who cares? It's a video game. But I always go anonymous, right? So then there's a cutscene where Robin goes. They'll ask, like, who built it? And Robin will go, that person would like to remain anonymous. I think that's super cool. Is that what you're talking about?
Starting point is 01:12:20 Yes. So there are people. Anyway, that's a long way to go for that. I always have to do a Star Do Valley reference. Okay, so when they did brain scans of these. people who are just these incredibly altruistic people who would just give away like body parts, they saw that their amygdala was either like more lit up or like enlarge so that part of their brain, that like the feeling part of their brain. And so I wanted to ask you guys like on a scale
Starting point is 01:12:48 from anonymous kidney donor to full sociopath, where do you think you are? Like if this is 10, the sociopath and zero is altruistic kidney donor, like where do you think you? fall. Three. Three? Why three? You don't believe three? No, I think you're extremely generous. I think that you just don't, you're extremely generous. I'm generous in a certain way. Yeah. Okay. So, I'm generous with money. Money. Yeah. I, um, I, um, I, um, I tip very well. I then, I could be the best tip her. I think so. In, in town. I agree. Yeah.
Starting point is 01:13:34 I mean, do you agree? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, even if the service is really bad and they slap him in the face, he'll still like tip him 100%. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm good with that, right? I'm good with homeless. That's a weird way to say. It's a weird way to say it.
Starting point is 01:13:49 I'm going homeless. I'm the best in the business. Yeah, yeah. I'm really good with homeless. Yeah. You know what I mean? I'll do stuff like anonymous homelessness. I've already.
Starting point is 01:14:02 told the story, but there was a guy with a cart. He went into 7-Eleven, and he had a cart. On top of his cart, he had some sort of like, it looked like a Bible, and it was white for some reason. And I took $100 while he was in the store. I lifted up real quick, I put $100 on it,
Starting point is 01:14:17 and I closed it, and I just left. I mean, I'll do, like, mystery, stuff like that. You know what I mean? Yeah, anyway, thanks for listening. Wait, hold on. Let's close it with your altruism score. Where do you think you lie? I think I lie like in the middle Because I know that sometimes I do things for people
Starting point is 01:14:36 Just because I like seeing that they get like happy about it But I also know that sometimes I've done things To get other things in return Yeah I think I'd be like a two or three as well I think you're pretty good Yeah I think both of you're pretty good What are you?
Starting point is 01:14:54 I don't know I think you're a one I cannot give my kidney away to the stranger though I know the kidney. I know body parts is crazy, but it's like, I think that you're extremely giving. Wish Issa, happy birthday. Happy birthday. Thank you, you.
Starting point is 01:15:09 You guys, I'll see you soon. Tomorrow we're having lunch. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for having us, Ozzy. Thank you for having us. What's the studio called? DeKine.
Starting point is 01:15:20 DeKine Media. If you're in Hawaii and you want the best place to do podcasting. This is actually a great studio. Yeah, it's a great studio. So go to DeKine Studios. It's a great place. Yeah, all right.

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