TigerBelly - The MADtv Reunion | TigerBelly 500
Episode Date: April 30, 2025We did it, 500 episodes! Enjoy this lovely MADtv reunion. Nosotros Papaya to you my friend. Exclusive 500th Episode Merch HERE Start your free online visit today at www.hims.com/belly Go to www....helixsleep.com/belly for 27% Off Sitewide + Free Bedding Bundle (Sheet Set and Mattress Protector) with any Luxe or Elite Mattress Order. Exclusive for listeners of TigerBelly! Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at www.bluechew.com And we’ve got a special deal for our listeners: Try your first month of BlueChew FREE when you use promo code BELLY -- just pay $5 shipping. That’s promo code BELLY.
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Tiger Belly merch, Tiger Belly merch.
You guys, we have Tiger Belly merch.
Guys, I have a cassette tape.
I have Garage Band, and I do loops.
I make loops.
Amazing.
It's amazing little loops.
They're simple, very lo-fi.
But purchase some of my music.
We have this, which is a Tiger Belly 500th episode T-shirt.
What else do we have?
We have these hats.
I love these hats.
I've been wearing them on stage. Yeah. If you like we have? We have these hats. I love these hats.
I've been wearing them on stage.
Yeah.
If you like that merch,
you want to get one of these cassette tapes.
It's going to be Bobby's music.
And guess what?
There's probably a bonus track
with George singing at the very end.
So make sure you do that.
Check out that hat George is wearing
because we've never done a trucker hat before.
And also Jaime, hold up that hoodie one more time.
Check that out.
Jaime's a piñata.
We're all on there.
Swing swing.
Swing swing.
Guys, time. buy our new Tiger
Ready episode 500 merch. Yes, make sure you buy it at SlupKingdom.com. I love it. I love you with my heart and soul.
Get on the mic, get on the mic first.
Over here, over here.
Any white elephants in the room?
Sit here, over here.
Go and sit in the middle.
I knew it, Arias.
I wasn't the only one.
I wasn't the only one that was mad.
Yeah, get in.
We're rolling, Bobby.
Come here, you know I love you with my heart, right? You know what, listen to me. Wait, wait, wait, wait, do it here, do over here. Yeah, get in. We're rolling, Bobby, so get in here. Come here. You know I love you to my heart, right?
You know what, listen to me.
Wait, wait, wait, do it here.
Do it here.
Put your earphones on.
Everyone put your earphones on.
Oh, dude.
Yeah.
This is so.
Yeah, I love it, I love it, yeah, yeah.
All right, before you get into it,
let's do an introduction,
and then we'll go right into Aries, okay?
Yeah, I love it.
All right, so,
Let's do an introduction and then we'll go right into Aries, okay? Yeah, I love it.
All right, so, um, uh...
Welcome to the 500th episode.
We got Debra Wilson here.
We got Debra and Aries Spears. Yes! We got Mo.
Welcome to the 500th episode.
This is a dream come true.
This is honestly my family.
My first real job in Hollywood was Mad TV.
I was on it for eight years.
But when I first got on, this is the crew that was already there.
And I was so intimidated by them.
And I was so, I really was, I was enamored.
I try to play cool every day, but I was so nervous.
And I think, aside from the guy in the middle,
the two, on the ends, made me feel very comfortable.
I mean, I know we resolved our issues, right?
But we're good friends now, but my point is that.
Me and you, Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It took three years for us to warm up to each other
on the show, which is, yeah, insane.
Yeah, it.
Not really.
It's a waste of time.
It's a waste of time, right?
It can be, but my thing is this also,
the reason why it's also sane
is because both of you had to grow yourselves
to better know yourselves so that you can go like,
oh shit, I'm ready for this,
and I know where I was coming from. I know who the fuck I am. Now it's time yeah okay
what do you mean? Explain Deb. Yeah yeah because my thing is this you were nervous. Stop holding your hands it's uncomfortable. No uh uh uh. Okay keep going keep going. You may have been nervous by all of that but you put up a facade right?
No not entirely. Not with you. What do you mean? What do you Oh, and the reason I say that is because mo is an open human being
She's the most mo is mama. Momo is my sister for life. Yes. I will bleed mo every day of the fucking
No, she's not a little too open. She's all the way open because she's real
What you see is what you get with her
Exactly. No, it is when you see somebody and somebody just opens up to you
the way she opens up to you, you know it's lifelong.
Bottom line.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
When I met her, as funny as she was,
as clever as she was, as sweet as she was,
as out there as she was,
I knew that would be my sister for life.
I knew it then.
And it is that way to this day
because she is that lovable.
Talk about him now.
Yes, please.
Please.
This is the meat, this is the meat, go ahead.
I love you.
I love you too.
I love you too.
I really do.
I know you do.
I'm in the middle of a lesbian sandwich.
All right.
Aries and I have a bond that I cannot explain other than.
Can you explain it in a sound?
Explain it in a sound.
I can't.
I can't.
OK, nothing.
Aries and I have a bond.
That bond, OK, here's that sound.
Woo.
Woo.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's ride or die.
It's ride or die.
When he cries, I cry.
If he's upset, I get upset.
Well, he's curious, so let me know why you curious.
Okay, so Aries and I have been through some shit
on Mad TV.
I know.
And he has been open enough to come to me,
or I have been able to find out,
and we're able to share that.
When we are working on stage,
when we're working on stage,
our bond and our silliness is there, is 100, is 100.
And everybody knows that,
everybody in the audience knows that, everyone knows that.
So on a personal level.
Okay, go ahead.
You're doing model.
I'm princess, I'm sorry.
Go ahead. You're doing model. I'm Princess. I'm sorry. So on a personal level, if shit goes down, I want to be there. I want to have his back.
So not too long ago, and I'm talking like a year ago, shit went down. I wanted to have
your back and you disappeared.
What are you talking about?
I don't want to bring up details because it's personal.
Oh, you're talking about the Tiffany Haddish thing?
No.
I don't give a fuck about that.
I don't know what you mean then.
You called me in an emergency situation and you told me something that was dire.
What is it?
And I wanted to help you.
I love dire.
And said, I'm going to get back to you because I'm going to rally some troops around you.
You never called me back, you disappeared,
you changed your number, it's not as if you called me
and gave me your number.
Oh, Deborah, he needs a defense.
Deborah.
Nah!
Man, that's our time, everybody.
Thanks for coming.
We cannot defend Robbie Lee, but Joe asked me
to come up here and say stuff and feel stuff.
And they're not, this is the white elephant in the room.
Well, it's the black elephant in the room.
But he's lost some weight.
Okay.
But you never got back to me.
And you have to remember something.
This is the first time I'm seeing you since then.
So now that I was in a tizzy, wondering if you okay,
you never got back to me.
And I know you read my message because you said red.
Okay. Can we, can we have a defense?
So Mad TV started.
Based on a magazine.
What we did is we created original characters
and fulfilled a certain comedy factory for the era.
Yeah.
Now, what is it?
OK, there we go.
Look at that photo.
And mama had he not asked.
Oh, look at that.
Oh my god, look at that body. The photo. Wow. That's you, look at that photo. And mama had he not asked. Oh my God, look at that, Pony.
The photo, wow.
That's you, Aries?
Yeah.
Tell it like Denzel back then, huh?
Stop it.
Yeah, something happened like you died
and left in a pond or something
and you bloated a little bit.
Michael and I look married, look at that.
He looks straight right there.
I know, I was there for that.
No he doesn't.
Yeah, so, then Frank Caliendo, okay good.
That was, yeah.
I don't know what that.
So tell me, I don't know what's going on here.
I'm sorry, Mo, we're all gonna have a chance to shine.
Well we'll see.
We got a resolve.
I'm gonna lean back if that's all right.
Can I just like.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, no, now.
Tell us what the details.
No, no, no.
Now that she's jogged my memory.
Yeah, I was just going through something
with the wifey at the time.
I didn't even know you were married.
Twice to the same woman.
Okay. Really?
Oh yeah. And I'm probably about to marry her a third time.
Yeah, yeah.
But things are fun.
Yeah, so yeah, we all,
or maybe change your behavior, I don't know.
That could help too, that could help too.
But yeah, I was going through a rough period
and long story short, she got a restraining order
and had me kicked out of my own house.
So I was like,
basically homeless. So I was, you know, I called Deborah, I called Deborah to see if I could crash
with her because she's always been there for me and never turned me down. But again, like she was
saying, there was something going on when she had to get back to me. And I guess in my heat of my
frustration, I was like, fuck that.
So I said, fuck everybody.
I changed my number.
I didn't talk to nobody.
And the only person that I called
was my brother who I've grown up with since fourth grade.
And I eventually stayed at his crib.
What happened to him?
I have a guest room.
I'd be nervous.
Have I said too much?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you didn't reset the mo. I have a guest room.
Yeah, you could have reached out to me.
I feel funny as a black man putting myself on white folks.
We love it.
They do love it.
You've seen those movies where the white family adopts the football player.
Yeah, they love it.
Indentured servitude is next. That's the blind side, dude.
That's the blind side. That's the blind side. Yeah, your ass
would have been blindside. So, yeah, I mean, the situation
eventually resolved itself rather quickly and you know, it
was all good. Okay, good. You know? Yeah. Um did you ever
text Deborah back? No. No. And that explains this moment.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
But it wasn't like I had anything against Debra at all.
I just didn't.
But it's also, like I said, it's alarming
when someone disappears from your life.
It's alarming.
It's alarming, yeah.
Because that's the last thing you hear,
and so I'm left with, what the fuck?
What the fuck?
And now I'm seeing him now so that,
I'm not gonna let that be a white elephant in the room
but it really is.
Yeah.
Well, can I have, is there a verdict?
I think Mo and I will be the judge.
Yeah, what is the verdict?
Is there?
We're judges, what's the verdict?
Is there a winner?
I think there is a winner!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's the crime?
Like what's the?
The crime is ghosting.
Ghosting? Yeah, yeah. But it's the situation, Mo, because it's- Situational ghosting. And that's the crime? What's the... The crime is ghosting. Ghosting?
Yeah, yeah.
But it's the situation, Mo,
because in that situation,
No, I totally get it, yeah.
Aries, you fucked up.
You fucked up, Aries.
You did fuck up.
I don't believe he fucked up,
but my thing is this,
you do what you had to do,
You sounded like he fucked up.
You had to change.
No.
Okay.
All I'm saying is I'm putting all the information together,
going where were you?
Yeah.
So my thing is this, you didn't fuck up,
you made a decision, and so here's what I feel at the end result of that decision.
It bothered me because I wanted to know you were okay.
That's all.
I just wanted to know you were okay.
That's all.
So I'm not angry with you and I'm not mad at you.
I just wanted to know you were okay.
I wanted to know what happened.
And that's the last thing I remember.
So that's the first thing that's going to bring up in my mind.
And now that I know you okay, we all good.
But all of this was built up.
All of this was built up and I never let it go.
Cause I didn't know what was happening with him.
But yeah, no, it was, you know, I'm dramatic.
So, you know, I probably made more of it
than I probably, you know, should have.
Cause you know.
That's life and I get it.
But now I can release it, you know, that's my thing.
Plus I'll, you know. Cause I love him. Yeah, plus, you know, I wasn't I'm 50 now. So
That was like you're saying I thought you were 60
So, yeah, I've matured, you know a little bit
So I've matured a little bit. So.
Yeah, thank you.
Is there a fly in here?
Thank you.
Deborah, I have to say that he's made me feel the same way.
And I understand your tears.
OK?
He's not.
He didn't make me feel that way.
I felt that way from that situation.
He doesn't have to take responsibility for that.
I know I felt a certain way.
And I just wanted to get my feelings out and speak my piece.
Do you have resentments at me or Mo at all? Never are you kidding me?
Never you know why because like I said mama Momo and I are for life
And I could tell that you were nervous to begin with and that's all the more reason why I wanted to be like and and even
When I wasn't on the show when I was on the show even when I wasn't I was always the oldest always I was the matriarch
Yeah, and so I wanted to make people feel comfortable because I know when I wasn't, I was always the oldest, always. I was the matriarch. And so I wanted to make people feel comfortable
because I know when I first arrived,
I didn't trust myself.
I didn't trust myself until fourth season.
I didn't trust, and then when Mo came in,
I completely trust myself.
I'm like, she's my blanket.
She's my sister.
She gets me, I get her, and I admire and respect her talent
and I'm inspired by who this person was.
I knew she was creative and funny, but the fucking woman that she is made me feel like
I can be the woman that I want to be and fuck all everything else.
If I'm cold, can you be my blanket?
Yeah, yeah.
I saw Deborah's clit the first day I met her.
Oh!
Dude.
That's when it was pretty back then.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
It looked like a newborn pinky mouse.
It was all pink.
Can I look like Morgan Freeman now?
I'll never forget it.
I saw your titties.
You were supposed to.
Yeah, I was supposed to see them.
They were very nice.
Thank you.
They still are.
They're all tattooed now.
Completely 100.
Are they real, Deb? Completely 100. Okay. There we go.
Whoa, are they real, Deb, or?
Yeah, real expensive.
Okay, all right.
Very nice, I like your tattoos.
Thank you, I'm 100% covered now, body-wise.
I have tattoos all over my body.
Really?
In my hands, yeah.
Wow.
Every part of me is covered.
Let the palm, though.
People don't do their palms, why?
Because you're gonna shed skin constantly,
and you're gonna sweat constantly.
I see, I see, okay.
So only, yeah. Yeah. So, Aries, do you have any resentments Why because you're you're gonna shed skin constantly and you're gonna sweat constantly. I see I say only yeah
So Aries, do you have any resentments toward anybody in the room? No, absolutely not. Okay
As we discussed the only the only you know
The only reservations I had were with you and we worked that out
You know what everybody else I absolutely loved and I got gotta be honest, like, when we were doing this,
I kinda knew in my head, I go,
I know who's gonna show up and who won't be there.
I was a little shocked that Will pulled out.
I really wanted to see Will.
But I went, he ain't gonna be there, you know?
Who?
No.
Yeah, that's the only person I probably really
know, I mean, listen, I know, okay, hold up, guy, okay.
She's purposely not here.
Oh, okay.
You know what I mean?
Because of the chemistry.
Got you.
Yeah. Got you.
Am I saying that correctly?
You're perfectly, you can say it any better way.
Yeah, but I'm fond of all three.
Can we talk about how you got the show?
Because I don't know anything about that. So start with Mo and then we'll get to
Deb. Am I still here? Yeah, yeah, you're here. For Mo Collins, right, is I just want
to you and Stephanie, but I think you are so I've never met anyone as talented.
Whoa. You're so intrinsically fucking funny. To just felt my lady bits for the first time in like three years. Thank you. To watch you do Lorraine and all,
I mean it was incredible to watch.
Thanks.
As a kid and like I was.
As a kid.
I had never done sketch or improv or acted or anything.
So I was like literally, I just,
I don't even, I didn't even know why I was on the show.
Well, let me just piggyback on what you just said.
Not to interrupt Mo's thing here,
but one of the things that I thought was always amazing
about us, if I could pat us all on the back,
is not only did people do great characters
or great impressions, everybody was fearless.
Everybody wasn't scared to go there.
And we're talking about the 90s where you really went there.
So whether it's Moe as Lorraine or Moe as playing a wife
or whatever kind of character she's playing, she went there.
She went off the page.
I went off the page.
Deborah went, everybody went off the page.
And we weren't scared to put our dicks on the table.
The only way to know where the line is,
the edge is to go over it.
That's the only way you can find out where it is.
And that literally was our
job.
Three great quotes by three legendary comedians.
Arias, can I just say something? This is Mo's section.
Oh shit, I'm sorry. Okay. I'm sorry.
Sometimes when the music is playing, you just dance.
Memorize your little fucking, you know what I mean? Socrates coats or whatever. We like
to hear all of them, you know what I mean?
Hey, when the rhythm is popping, man, you flow.
I know, I know.
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You're always flowing so you can just put a damn down.
I got you, I got you.
And then let Moe spill the beans and then it's your turn.
I got you.
Okay, good.
Memorize that.
Go ahead, Moe.
So you grew up in Minnesota.
You started in Minnesota.
Yeah. And then did you get hired at MADtv from Minnesota?
No, in fact I was up in Minnesota when MADtv started
and I remember I had a newborn at the time
and I remember watching the show and I go,
I'm late coming to Los Angeles.
I'm like, I'm late, I'm supposed to be there.
I think I'm supposed to be on that show.
And then within my first year of coming out to LA,
I got the audition.
And I knew, I knew I was right where I should be
because there was no other way
for me to get into Hollywood, right?
It's like my background, sketch and improv.
That's what I do.
And so when that audition came up, I'm like, here we go.
But then I remember it was the fifth one,
they sent me home and I'm like, they fucked up.
Why'd they send me home?
And they sent me home because-
Was it a producer's session?
Yeah, it's like my fifth audition,
and I'm like, why did they send me home?
And I was crushed.
I'm like, they made a mistake.
And it was just that they knew by that point
that they were gonna at least test me.
Oh, that's why.
You know?
And you know it's fucked up,
they don't even ever tell you that shit.
So you're left in the fucking wild.
Yeah, yeah.
You'll get your turn.
But that's where I met Michael McDonald too.
I remember Michael from our audition series.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, and we got to talking a lot in the hall
and it was just like, that's where that friendship started.
It was really cool.
You weren't first year though.
I came in season four.
Season four.
With Michael.
Yep.
Wow.
Yep, and Andrew Bowen.
And quick inter, that's when I took off
hitting the ground running with season four
because of you and being the cast.
Oh, so you went on season four.
No, I started season one.
I started from pilot.
Whoa. But I didn't feel comfortable. season one. I started from pilot. Whoa.
But I didn't feel comfortable.
OG.
I was there from pilot, but I didn't feel comfortable
and feel like I'm in the space I'm meant to be
until she came in in season four.
Yeah.
That's when it hit for me.
That's when I hit the ground running.
Deborah, I don't want to.
And when Aries came, boom, hit the ground running.
All right, Deborah, I just wanted to,
it's not your turn yet.
Oh, shit. Oh shit.
Derek, come back up please. Sprinkle some water.
There she is.
Okay.
Oh.
Okay, very good.
So, and then, so did you like it right away or no?
Well, I loved it, of course.
Yeah, it was terrifying.
I mean, I did not know how to do television.
Yeah.
You know, I remember the first sketch I was gonna tape,
it was a pre-tape, thank God,
because I didn't even know, like, they do that count
in five, four, three, two.
I was back, I'm the first line in the scene,
I'm supposed to enter, and I'm waiting for fucking one.
They don't call it. So, I'm the first line in the scene and I'm supposed to enter and I'm waiting for fucking one.
They don't call it.
So I didn't enter and AJ, our, you know, remember?
Oh, AJ, hold on, AJ!
Yeah, AJ was like, that's you, one, go.
Oh, really?
And like I was learning how to do television
after being cast.
Yeah.
So it was a scary,
my first season was really kind of scary for me,
nerve wracking, you know?
And also, at the end of my first season,
everybody had their pickup right at the very last day
of working, except for me, mine came two months later.
So while everybody had their pickup and was celebrating,
I still didn't even know if they were calling me back
And the only reason I got called back was because I'm Stewart's mother
Oh you think I yeah Wow
I don't think yeah, I don't think so either. Yeah, but you think trust I trust like that's the first time I'm hearing
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, I mean, you know, Minnesota style. I put shit under the rug
I didn't tell anybody you guys all happy and no I did not get my pickup Wow
I was waiting. You know what's so fucked up, too
Is like I remember doing a Connie Chung sketch that my very first one and it was like a monologue, right?
And usually they have teleprompters, but I'm mad
They were just you have to memorize the whole fucking thing
Yeah But I'm mad, you have to memorize the whole fucking thing. It was crazy.
For the first time in front of a live audience
and just having a page of fucking dialogue
was so petrifying for me.
That is scary.
It is scary with nothing to read up.
Okay, well I look pretty good.
I look fuckable, dude, you know what I mean?
A Woody Allen would go crazy over that.
I would have been the Sunni.
But while I did not know that, Moe, that's incredible.
Yeah, I'm hearing that.
Yeah, I had to kind of, you know, I'm not,
being a Minnesotan, you know, I was shy of things
and I had to learn how to stand up for myself on the show.
And I did learn how to do that, but it was really hard.
It got to where, you know, because when a
confrontation used to just make me cry,
which it was so weak, it didn't do anything.
So it got to where I would, all I would have to do
if there was something bad going on or happening to me,
I would go to Dick Plasucci's office.
Oh, so Plasucci was in charge then?
Exact producer.
And I would just tap my foot down as symbolism.
I'm putting my foot down.
And then we'd laugh.
And then I was able to talk about whatever it is
I needed to talk about.
I love that, man.
I do too.
I pooed in his office.
Oh, gosh.
You pooed everywhere.
Yeah.
I pooed everywhere.
My dressing room table, was that one?
No, that wasn't you.
Oh, OK.
I pooed in Ike's. Ike, that was it. You remember that? Yeah, yeah, I pooed it too? No, that was that wasn't you. Oh, okay. I've put in Ike's
Yeah, yeah, I put it to anyway. Let's start about poo, but I love dick and I regret pulling it
Very good. Wow I do comedy. Yeah, do you think that like going turn by turn is helping or should we just do a hard spot?
Yeah, okay.
Is this water?
Yes. Yeah, anything you want Mo?
Aries, keep it tight.
I'm kidding.
How did you get it?
I remember you on Def Jam as a young guy.
Yeah, I did Def Jam when I was 16.
I did Showtime at the Apollo at 17.
We went out to LA between 17 and 18.
I did a guest spot of warmup for the Fresh Prince of Bel Air
where Will Smith and a lot of NBC execs saw me.
And from there word got around town quickly.
There's this young, hot kid in town.
He's phenomenal.
I got holding deals for five straight years.
Every network, I probably made a million dollars
by the time I was 19, 20,
but I hadn't anything to show for it.
I ended up at, and I actually auditioned
for a ManTV the first season,
but while I auditioned, I was also doing a pilot
for Aaron Spelling called Crosstown Traffic,
which was kind of a mod squad.
He didn't wanna let me out of that,
but the head of the network at the time, Peter Cernan,
was such a big fan of mine after like a couple years
of nothing, he said, look man,
I know we were supposed to develop something, we didn't,
but I love you so much, I want you on this network,
I want to put you back on Mad TV.
I want to put you on Mad TV.
So they put me on third season.
Wow.
Wow, no audition?
No, I auditioned for Facts of Adam that first time.
Oh, right, right.
And they loved me and wanted me then.
But Aaron Spelling wouldn't let me out.
Oh, right, so.
So when I came back the third time,
they were like, yo, put him on.
Yeah.
And were you happy when you got on that show?
I was indifferent, man, cause you know what,
I'm gonna be honest with you.
Cause you didn't seem that happy when I was there.
My dream was Saturday Night Live.
Oh, here we go!
That was my dream, man.
Fuck off!
I wanted to take the same path as Eddie Murphy, man.
Two, three years on SNL, hit movie,
and the rest is history.
It's cooler, Matt is cooler.
Well, listen, you know, like I said,
I said to myself, I was disappointed
because in the beginning I was like,
I told my manager at the time,
man I feel like I'm doing this work on Mad
and nobody's recognizing it, nobody's saying anything,
I'm not getting no love.
Can I just interject, isn't that weird?
That at the time when I was on it,
I didn't feel like I was on a show, right? Right?
It's only later
Where I was like, oh, yeah
I was on a show but my manager told me was like a never underestimate the power of television and then about a year or
Two later it just started happening and I was like, oh shit. Is that when you got Jerry Maguire? I
Think so around that time. Yeah
Yep Jerry Maguire? I think so, around that time, yeah.
That's a really good origin story. And here's the crazy part, when I auditioned for
Jerry Maguire, I auditioned for Cuba's part.
And Cameron Crowe basically said to me, he goes,
you're not a big enough name for that part,
but I like you so much, I'm gonna give you
the role of the brother.
But what happened is, when I auditioned for
Jerry Maguire, that scene where Cuba is on the Roy Fierstein show, and he improvs, oh my baby, I love you, thank
you for the concha. I did that in the audition. So he took everything that I did and put it
in the script and gave it to Cuba.
But those are your lines.
Those are my lines. But I mean, the blessing and the curse is I got to be in the movie.
It's just a blessing. There's no curse.
Well, I mean, God damn, you're going to take my dialogue but not use me?
It's not a fucking curse, it's a blessing.
Hey man, come on man.
I apologize.
You know what I mean?
But don't make me mad.
Because you raped me with a condom on don't mean it still ain't rape.
I'm supposed to feel good because you put a condom on?
Let me think about that.
Hold on, I'm trying to make the connection in my mind.
You're right. If somebody rapes you, you'll go,
hey man, at least I wore a condom.
Stop saying the word, maybe.
Call it grape or something.
What, grape?
Yeah, call it grape.
It's not a grape drink reference to black people either.
I got you, I got you.
Okay, it was just more play on words on rape.
Hence why you brought up black people in grape drinks.
Oh, that's my bad. I on rape. Anyway. Uh. Hence why you brought up black people in grape drinks.
Oh, that's my bad.
I'm sorry.
I apologize.
I don't get it.
Yeah.
All right.
Deb, you're, so you're OG.
Everybody pull out your sleeping bags.
Ah. Yeah, yeah. Let's start.
I was in New York.
I auditioned for Facts and Adam and then the second audition was with Artie Lang and the
third audition was again with Facts and Adam for sketch material and then LA for sketch material.
And the interesting thing was we were at Fox
when we auditioned, there was a room,
they put us in an auditorium, a screening room.
There were over 100 people there, way over 100.
And they started eliminating people that day.
So you'd go in, would they verbally say, you're out?
No, they would just come in and say,
thanks so much for coming, we appreciate your time
and leave, and everyone else was there.
And it had started coming down to like eight people,
seven people.
Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
And my audition in LA, pardon me,
I was working on a Spike Lee film at the time.
I got out of doing that in order to
be there and I had to go back the next day. So my audition was with Nicole, was originally with
going into the room and then sitting back in, they brought me back in. Who was the casting director?
Um, I don't remember. Was it Nicole Garcia, right? Yeah, I think it was Nicole Garcia. Thank you for bringing that up.
So after auditioning, and here's the thing,
you were in somebody's office.
People were sitting on chairs and desks and all of that.
You were in somebody's actual physical office.
I've tested for shows like that, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Deborah, what did you have to do for your audition?
Like did you have to do three original characters
and three impressions?
No, I just did.
Oh wow. One original character and I did.
Do you remember it?
I don't write monologues.
I just go in and improv everything.
And so I went in as Bonifat Latifaheli Fishery for Jackson.
And I went in as.
Classic.
Classic.
Whoopi Goldberg.
Right.
I went in and did my thing.
And what I did was I just talked to people
and then I pointed things out
and then I asked to sit on Quincy Jones lap.
Oh, he was in the room?
Quincy Jones and David Salzman were in the room.
Oh, it's old Salz nuts, I love him.
So I did that and then as Whoopi,
I came out and talked to people making it seem
like this was my show.
And they were my audience.
And like I said with Bonifa, I was in high school
and I was there telling them about my life.
And when they laughed at me, I got pissed off
and I started cursing at them.
Oh wow, crushing though, you're probably crushing.
Because I don't know why you're laughing at my life.
Because that was that kind of a thing.
Because most people think, comedy, you're trying to be funny.
No, but you don't think it's funny.
Method sketch, method sketch.
White folks love them angry niggas.
They love when you're mad.
I'm right here, I can hear every word of that.
They love it.
So we were, Nicole and I went in, did a sketch.
They brought us back in and they started
eliminating people little by little.
Yeah. And at the end of the night I had nowhere to go because I had to fly
back. So they're waiting for the back to New York to work on next day I was
working on a Spike Lee film. Girl 6. Okay. And so Facts and Adam were like you know
what we're not supposed to tell you we're supposed to tell your agent they
loved you you're in. Wow.
Really good, real good. I wasn't happy necessarily, but yeah.
I wasn't happy.
It wasn't one of those things that was like,
yeah, that's cool.
Cause I thought I was gonna do a pilot
and go back to New York.
And when I found it was a series, I was like, fuck.
Yeah.
Aries, why do white people like angry black men?
Okay.
Is that what you said?
Yeah, they love the stereo.
I don't know what you're saying.
So I just want to be clear.
I was infusing my Paul Mooney impression.
That's what she said when she was going about that story.
That's what Paul Mooney would have said.
White folks love them angry niggas.
They love them.
You act like an angry nigga. They love niggas.
Oh, he's so real.
I love that guy.
So authentic.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow.
That's the reason.
Yeah.
And then so, but when you were, Facts and Addams.
I was not happy.
I never knew Facts and Addams, did you?
You did, yeah.
Yeah, they were in my auditions,
but they were handing over, basically,
the reins at that point to like Dick Plasucci.
So yeah, but they were there throughout my process
the whole time.
Never met them.
Oh my God.
I didn't know anything about it.
I wasn't particularly, for me, like you,
I was not particularly happy because I thought,
at the time I thought I'm a fraud
and they're gonna find out I had that.
See, why, let me say, I have,
I've carried that all my life.
Do you have that? Impostors.
Do you have it?
It's, I don't know many actors.
Who doesn't have it.
Yeah.
I think universally everyone has it.
You don't have it.
Yeah. I know that about you.
I know I'm the shit.
Yeah.
And see, at the time, but my thing is this.
I knew what I could do, but I was doing it
in an element that was comfortable for me.
L.A. was new, it was a television series,
people were jockeying for position, that wasn't my life.
I already had a career, I had already been working,
I was already loving what I did.
I was loving my life the way it is.
My personal side was a very fucked up thing.
Psychologically, emotionally, sexually, spiritually,
all of that stuff.
And so coming here and bringing all that shit,
and then trying to do it on this show
was going to be a nightmare because I thought,
everybody else wants to be here
because everybody else really wants the top.
I did not want that.
I just wanted to enjoy my creative space
and I was already doing that.
So by the time I booked the show,
it was like, do I have what it takes?
Do you like this as a baby?
Like...
I have a picture.
I actually have a picture of my fucking phone to prove it.
You do?
Uh-huh.
Can I see it?
Yeah.
Okay.
This is great so far.
It's all right.
Aries have never felt.
What do you mean, Mo? I love it. Oh, it's a great so far. It's all right. Everything never felt evil. What do you mean, Mo?
I love it.
Oh, it's just my white opinion.
Yeah, yeah.
Which I now take in today's current administration.
It matters.
Oh, God.
You've never had imposter syndrome?
You always knew?
Listen, I've got, you know, I get in trouble for, you know,
listen, I've always had confidence.
I've always stepped like I'm the baddest motherfucker
in the room.
I think that's great.
But no, because people go Aries is arrogant, he's cocky.
But I'm an alpha male from New York and I'm an Aries.
And I grew up in the 80s, I built 80s tough.
So you know what I mean?
Yeah, yeah.
I just own it.
I love that.
The people that I idolize, Eddie Murphy.
They own it.
We have to work for that.
I mean, I've arrived finally, you know,
I'm about to turn 60 and it's like,
I finally fucking got there where it's like,
no, I am the shit.
Yes.
But listen, I'm there now too.
I'm there too.
But listen, I swear to God, every interview I've ever done.
You believe in God? I believe in magic. But listen, I swear to God, every interview I've ever done. You believe in God?
I believe in magic.
Don't say God then.
Okay, I've told everybody that whenever they've asked me
about this show, and I've said it 100%,
fuck me, whether it's Will, Mo, Debra, Nicole,
as much as I have my beef with her, Alex, Michael, phenomenal talents.
And I would always go, there's no reason why they
should not be working in the mainstream
on everybody's living rooms.
They're fucking supremely talented.
Yeah. Agreed.
And it would frustrate me.
Yeah.
You know, it's so funny.
I remember when I left the show,
like people, cause I had friends on SNL and when they leave the show, they get deals and
all these things, right? And then I remember one time I waited in this long line
with Ike Barinholtz. We were auditioning. It was like a cattle call.
Really? Yeah, and we were like, this is it. This is what we get. Nothing. We got nothing.
It did seem like we, didn't we sort of joke like there's this curse, but it
really wasn't a curse. It wasn't so much that as that we had, you know,
I'm going to say it, Salsman did not allow for us to go forward and expand the
show. We, you know, the timing was not great when, you know, YouTube wasn't
really happening to the degree that propelled people forward. But also he did
not, he did not have us making Stuart films Lorraine movies you know
that should have been happening there's so many we couldn't even go off during
you know and go do a guest star on something Wow you know I don't know how
many times I begged I had offers and things and they're trying to say this is good
for the show yeah you and you can work around me. Like merch too, no merch.
Exactly these things all that stuff is shut down and that's you know you got to
spend money to make money. No billboards. No billboards, no nothing. We certainly
didn't have Fox's support. Yeah. I always joked that we were the bastard child of Fox.
And we were.
So those things, it crushed us.
And it did not propel us the way that it really could.
I still have people saying, where's a Lorraine movie?
And honestly, I fucking should, because I own that bitch.
I still have that contract in my garage.
Oh, so you own your contract.
I own Lorraine.
Wow.
I own the three that I auditioned with.
And I just want to say, you know, this is the part where, you know, and listen, I'm... Debra, you don't have to find it.
I mean, it's like 20 minutes.
You know, I've been described as bitter.
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podcast.
Deborah, you don't have to find it. I mean, it's like 20 minutes.
Yeah, you know, I've been described as bitter and I hate that word because I just, you know,
but I guess maybe that maybe that is what it is, because, you know, I'd sat back and I went,
Jesus, the people that really built the show made it.
And I went, Jesus, the people that really built the show made it.
And now it's like, and no disrespect to them, but I Baron Holtz,
Kian Peele. And I'm like, that show was was built by this nucleus.
And I'm just like, I don't get it.
I it's a head scratcher. I don't get it.
But that's also could have to do with where technology was at at the time, too.
Like I say, YouTube coming in, if Tiktok during MAD, we'd be the biggest fucking thing.
Right. And like, you know, just on the other side, age-wise too, it's like that 10 years is a huge
difference in terms of who's going to pay any attention to me on a TikTok or YouTube when
those things are starting. You know, so that's, I think, I have kind of, aside from yes, these people are multi-talented
and deserve what is happening to them.
But I think that it had a lot to do with the technology
that was in place at a certain time.
And sadly, we just, we were before it.
We just have like video tape fuzzy.
Right, right, right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
And not even those anymore, but because you know,
you would get maybe a couple of seasons
on a DVD collection or something like that,
and then not at all.
And then what was that?
Super Hattie and then not at all.
Deborah, put your phone away so we can.
Shut up.
Okay.
But here's what's surreal though.
Here's what's surreal though,
and we were talking about this outside before we started.
It's like, because I'm doing these standup clips now,
I had two young kids say to me,
I was in Detroit, I'm going down to Escalator,
this one kid could have been no more than 18,
and he goes, you're the TikTok guy.
Like I just started this shit.
And another kid-
And you know what you say to that, Aries?
Thank you.
Of course.
No, that's not what you say.
What did I say?
I'm sure it's not thank you. No, trust me, it really was. Yo, man, I've been around. Oh, no, I said thank you. Of course. No, that's not what you say. What did I say? I'm sure it's not thank you.
No, trust me. It really was.
Yo, Mabin around.
Oh, no. No, I said thank you.
But I'm just going to Mo's point.
I felt it felt like I was going to go into something that's going to that was going to be uncomfortable.
No, not at all. But to Mo's point.
Yeah, had we had the TikToks and the yeah, all that shit.
Oh, my God. It might have made a difference.
It would have been a huge difference. Yeah.
Do you hate that? Here's an example. No, I. I think it might've made a difference. It would've been a huge difference. Do you hate that?
No, I mean, listen, I'm a dinosaur.
I don't come from that era,
but I'm realizing you need that shit.
And I hate doing it.
I wish I didn't have to do any of it.
Here's something weird about Tic Toc and that whole world.
Like, okay, so every Halloween,
it comes around and people start sending pictures.
They're dressed as Stuart and Doreen, things like Lorraine.
And that's always been great.
And now what happens on TikTok is these people
dress like my characters and they've got millions of views.
And they're making more than I probably made
in the six seasons I was on MADtv.
Do you know what I'm saying?
But here's, so I, this year, I just said,
what would happen if OG Doreen did a video on TikTok?
What's gonna happen?
Cause I didn't have it.
So I did it.
Most people, I'm gonna go 50% thought
that I was an impersonator telling me
that that's pretty good.
That's a pretty good Doreen.
Wow. Yeah, yeah.
And then the people that did, you know, it's me,
and like, oh my God, they went crazy.
Like you raised me.
Like people were emotional.
It was really something to like, tell us more,
give us more, give us more.
So I'm like, okay.
Cause I ended up getting like 100,000 followers off of doing Dory.
Well, you keep doing it.
Why did you Dory?
I was, and I fucking did, and they get nothing.
So what do I do?
Do you know what I'm saying?
Yeah.
It's almost like that world doesn't want me to do it,
they want to do it.
Can I say what it is?
Tell me what it is.
Aries probably knows, right?
When things go viral, right?
You have to put out a thousand clips, right?
For one thing to go viral, right?
That's why I say I hate doing this.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, I started doing TikTok every day.
I would do lives.
I started to play the game.
Yeah.
Because I thought, okay, I just got a hundred thousand followers.
I'm going to see what happens because I could use a check. Yeah and
Nothing happened like it was doing it was just like well weird you all told me to tell a story or you know
Tell stories and so I did that I did exactly cuz that's I'm a caterer. God damn it. I give people what I
Do like I mean look at her look at her
Yeah, wow.
Before you guys came here, we ranked ourselves,
what would you rank yourself sexually, you think?
Oh, shit.
What the fuck?
Wait.
No, it wasn't sexually.
What is it?
It was just physical appearance.
Physical appearance, that's what I meant.
Not personality, you said sexuality.
Oh yeah, sorry, my bad.
Physical appearance.
From back in the day?
No, from now.
I mean, just in general.
He wants to know what you guys would rate him now.
He's curious.
No, I'm not, no, that's the way, wait.
Gilbert, fuck you, dude.
I wasn't doing it.
Let me tell you something.
Yeah, yeah.
There's a, there's a-
Oh, I want you to rate me.
Oh, no, no.
I want you to rate me.
I'm gonna rate you.
Hey, I'm gonna rate you.
Okay, hold up, though.
But in my defense, let me say this,
and I hope you pull it up.
Me now?
I'm not what I used to be.
No, shit. But, but. Duh. But hold up. But hold up.
Yo, hold up.
Aw nigga, duh.
Hold up though.
Listen, I think it was season five.
I think it was season five.
When we do our, when they show our intros,
with the black and white stills,
you can't tell me I'm not a sexy motherfucker, boy.
Pull them goddamn, pull that out.
With makeup.
Nah, bruh, nah man.
I had the Eddie Murphy twist, the Pull them goddamn, pull that up. With makeup.
Nah, bruh, nah, man.
I had the Eddie Murphy twist.
Yeah, that was good.
Oh, it was the way that shadow hit me.
Aries, you in the wild, no point out.
That was a great, that was my, those were really good.
Oh!
That was a great, that was my, those were really good.
Oh, really?
Season five, those were good.
They were.
They were really good.
Let me tell you something, the 90s for me, pussy wise,
I put up with Chamberlain numbers. I put up with Chamberlain numbers.
Wow.
I put up with Chamberlain numbers, son.
Do you know when I first got hired on MADtv
and they brought, oh God, see look at all,
those are beautiful.
Wow, beautiful.
I wanna see Aries, hold on, let's go see Aries.
I come after Will.
Pat Kilbade.
Those are so pretty.
I just love them, I remember loving them, still do.
They're gorgeous.
I love Phil.
And we do comedy.
Oh, I'm next. You're next? Oh no, after Will. I remember loving them still do Phil and we do comedy. Mm-hmm
I'm next you're next. Oh, no after will
Well, look at that handsome. Yeah, come on, man. Oh
Yep, come on man. Really come on man. You know what you're right
Deception but I felt it. Lugadera, wow.
Gorgeous.
Yeah.
Sexy.
So, Moe, rank yourself, you think?
Should we rank Moe?
No, she...
I think you're a nine.
Now?
No, I'm just saying, in general, throughout your life, you know what I mean?
Okay, well, why not?
Why not a ten?
Also, your age is equated into it and stuff like that.
How come not 10?
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Come on, Bobby.
Because I rate myself a four.
I was gonna give you a strong five.
That hurt so bad.
Strong five!
That means you almost leaning into six.
Oh, strong.
Strong five. Can you just for old times sake give me a six? Your toe is. Oh, strong. Strong five.
Can you just for old time's sake give me a six?
Your toe is on six, but not your body.
Okay, that's fair enough.
Aries, what do you rank yourself?
Now?
Yeah, no, just in general.
With the swagger and the confidence?
No, only physical.
We're not going, with swagger and confidence, bro.
Oh, nigga, naked, I look like Estor-O.
What's Estor-O?
The mother from good times.
Oh, yeah.
Oh.
You do?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's the good or bad.
Oh, it's horrendous.
It's horrendous, yeah, yeah.
Not the face, the body.
Body. Whoa, you do.
Yeah, yeah, so what do you rank yourself here?
I don't know, about, about, about,
six and a half, seven.
Hmm, interesting.
Debra?
I don't play games like that.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, I see.
I'm, I'm, first of all.
You're a nine. No, I don't play games like that. Oh, I see. You're a nine.
No, I don't play games like that because it's bullshit, number one.
Number two, you either love yourself or you don't.
Oh, here we go.
Let me redirect my energy back.
Yeah, we went from a silly game to seriousness.
No, I'm just keeping it real.
I'm just keeping it real.
You keep it real, mama.
But that's also what women do at a certain age, too.
You know what I'm saying?
Like, we leave that field.
Do you know what I mean?
And it's like exactly what you say.
I called your mama, I'm sorry.
We give zero fucks about that.
Zero fucks.
Zero fucks about that.
I'm like.
It was just a silly game.
I know.
Very silly.
Let me be honest.
It's too silly.
Let me be honest.
I'm a 10.
I'm a 10. Fuck yeah you are. I'm a fucking 10. Fuck yeah you are. You damn be honest. I'm a ten. I'm a ten.
Fuck yeah you are.
I'm a fucking ten.
Fuck yeah you are.
You're damn right.
I'm a fucking ten because I'm alive.
There's been many people that ask me, yo, what's Debra like?
Yo, like, y'all seem like y'all kind of, and I go, yo, she's my sister.
I mean, we never did anything, but I ain't going to lie.
I wanted to bang her.
But the thing is, remember we did that shit?
I came up to Aries and I said,
yo Aries, at the end of the show,
let's make it seem like there's more border between us.
Now we built the story, so at the end of each show,
one time it was all love, love, love,
and then we started building tension,
and then we started coming to separate.
People are like, what the fuck is going on?
At the end of the show.
What?
You don't remember?
Because everyone kept asking Aries,
I was like, let's build a story
where there's something going on.
Like at the end of the show.
The climax was when we French kissed.
Yeah.
My dick was hard.
Oh shit.
Cause I was like, we would stand next to each other
and I would rub him a certain way or whatever.
Or when the audience was clapping and the music was playing,
we would be away from each other,
be away from the cast just talking to each other.
And people like, what the fuck?
Let me tell you, let me tell you, man.
And we all know in terms of comedic chemistry, some of our dance partners
were better than others.
It's like I love working with Will because I felt like me and Will bang like that.
Me and Deborah, me and Moe.
And yeah, I worked with Nicole, I worked with Alex, I worked with Michael, but I never felt
like we danced the perfect dance comedically together, like with these guys.
Who did you feel that with?
The perfect dance, who was your perfect?
I'll dance that dance.
It probably, no offense,
but probably the later generation of people.
That's fair.
That's very fair.
Like Flanagan, you know what I mean,
I did a lot with her and Nicole Parker,
these types of people, you know. Ike and I did a lot together her and Nicole Parker, these types of people, you know.
Ike and I did a lot together.
Ike and Ike Holtz and Ike, yeah.
But not that, I like dancing with you guys.
And they were very cosmic dance.
You and I didn't work a lot together to begin with.
You were my first sketch.
Right.
Do you know what my first sketch was?
No.
You were Chris Tucker and I was Jackie Chan.
What?
That's right.
And also Will was Lance Bass, I think, or something.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's this?
No, what's this?
Is that not it?
No, it was where I looked like Chris,
and I was Chris Tucker.
That was seven buddy cops, wasn't it?
Yeah, definitely seven buddy cops.
I think it was, because I actually worked
with the actual Jackie Chan as Chris Tucker.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's why I pooed in Dick Blasuci's actual Jackie Chan as Chris Tucker. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah
That's why I put in I dick blue sushi's office. Okay, that's good I actually did I wrote with Jackie cuz I wrote a letter and I go dear dick
Right. I'm a huge fan of Jackie Chan. I don't even have to have a line
Right, just put me in the background. I just want to meet him
Then I'm watching mad one day and he's on it with you right and the next day at work I put in
his office
is that it no that's not the sketch it was a it was a sketch with
with um... No, it's...
Yeah, this is it.
Yeah.
This is exactly what it is.
Wow.
Yeah, that was it.
That was my first sketch.
My first live.
Oh, wow.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay, I don't want to see it.
Thank you.
Yeah, that was it.
And um, you know what?
You made me feel very comfortable that day.
You were very positive.
I've always loved you.
I've always loved you too.
And my thing was this, I could tell you were nervous and you just needed someone to know that you're on
your corner. If you're on this show you fucking belong here and that was my motto. If you're on
this show you fucking belong here and you have every right to feel comfortable. Tell them that.
You know but I but you know also as a woman I wanted to nurture you because I wanted to feel
like you know you were okay on and off the set.
I felt the same about you.
You were so nice to me, Mo.
Oh my God.
That's why you're always my forever person.
I remember one time just behind the sets and you were so nervous.
It probably was alive.
And you were just so nervous.
And I'm like, do you know how lucky we are?
We get to go out and make these people laugh.
That's why you're here and that's all you have to do.
But you were terrified.
You were having a bad moment.
And I'm like, no.
My confidence came after you guys left.
When I was like, I became you guys.
This is probably why you felt more towards
the Flanagan's and stuff.
Because of that.
Yeah, that's when I felt my confidence.
I'm the old guy now.
And you know. But like. But it's nice to have people like Moe be able to, Because of that. Yeah, that's when I felt my confidence. I'm the old guy now.
But it's nice to have people like Mo and Aries to be able to eventually pass that baton.
Did you guys sense the tension between Bobby and Aries?
No.
No.
Oh.
Yeah, there was no communication.
It was all friction.
Yeah, but it wasn't even like I went to somebody and said, man, this is fucking Bobby Lee.
I just, you know, felt how I felt and I just kept it to myself.
I get it, and I didn't know how I felt.
And let me tell you something, had he said something to me, he and I would have had a
talk.
He and I would have had a talk.
Yeah, I wish.
Very friendly and caring, but I love him and I know he has the capacity to love others.
I love you so much, dude.
I really do. Dude, I'm telling you that. I love you and I know he has the capacity to love others. I love you so much, dude. I really do.
Dude, I'm telling you that-
I love you so much.
People think my, because of my exterior,
and I take some of the blame, partly of-
Please.
Because some of the things I say-
I take most of the blame.
Because some of the things I say,
I know my mouth is my biggest attribute,
but I also know it's my biggest detriment.
Yeah.
So, but it's like when you really get to know me, know me.
Yeah. Dude, come on, man. you really get to know me, know me.
Dude, come on man, I ain't that, I ain't that big.
I think I'm the only one on Mad TV
that's ever seen Aries cry.
Oh no, I've seen him cry.
Oh, you have?
You've cried?
Oh yeah.
Okay.
Dude, I love Sex and the City.
You know I'm vulnerable, man.
You know I'm.
Yeah, yeah.
You say you cry?
Fuck you, Vovie.
No, no, why you cry?
Why you?
Oh my God. Fuck you, man. Why you cry, why you cry? Why you cry? Fuck you man, why you cry Bobby?
Why you cry Bobby?
My little baby boy, why you cry Bobby?
Listen man, listen.
You know, when you feel close to people,
and you feel like you can let your guard down,
you let it go.
But do you remember why he cried about it?
I don't know.
I'm trying to think, yeah.
I do, but that's not up to me to say.
Is that me?
Yeah.
Who the fuck else do you think that is?
You play a lot of women in this show.
I know, I know.
They didn't know what else to do with me.
So did I once Deborah left.
Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I played all the black women.
Yeah, I remember that, yeah, yeah, yeah.
So why you cry, baby?
Do you remember at all?
I don't.
I do, I do, but that's not up to me to say.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
But it was, it was.
It was tender?
No, it was out of a frustration and an anger and feeling.
I know what it is.
Yeah.
Okay, let's move on.
Yeah, listen, dude, I just feel like.
Can I just say that when that shit was happening is when I came on.
What?
When all that stuff was happening.
Oh. Right?
And I came into the show with that.
Right?
And so I could feel it.
I didn't know what any of the information was.
Because at the time, I thought it was me.
At the time I was like, yeah, like,
there's something going on.
It doesn't feel right.
Right?
And only later then I was like,
oh, I put everything together.
I came in in the wrong time.
You know what I mean?
Because it's like, I don't know, it was just weird.
And we can't talk about it, but yeah,
so I understand what it is.
And you know what, I would have cried too.
Because it affected everything.
Yeah, it affected everything from top to bottom.
And I felt it, it was really weird.
Like these young kids say now,
I'm gonna give you your flowers
I just felt like god damn man. I'm gonna get my flowers man. You have your flowers
Yeah, listen to me. Listen to me Aries. We're the luckiest people on this planet
We are when you put it in perspective. That's what you
Keep it in perspective then put it in perspective and keep it in perspective
You know in a right there's a term,
wear a new pair of glasses.
Just look at it in a certain way, right?
Because, you know what I mean?
What our brains are thinking is not who we really are, right?
It's the observer that's observing the thinking
is who we really are, okay?
And always remember this too,
whatever you focus on increases.
Well, I've been focusing on long time waiting for some sort of increase.
Well, you know what I'm saying, whatever you focus on increases, so be careful and full
of care what you focus on, bro.
Yeah, also, I'm sorry, dude, I played the Columbus Funny Bone recently.
Were you just there?
Yeah, this weekend.
Exactly, exactly, right?
Yeah.
That's an A room.
Yeah.
You sold good tickets?
Sold out. Fuck you then. Yeah. You sold good tickets? Sold out.
Fuck you then.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yep.
Thank you, Bobby.
Fuck you, dog.
Thank you, mama.
Thank you.
Let's clap for that.
Let's clap for that.
Let's clap for that.
Wear a new pair of glasses, guy.
Yep.
Right?
And don't stick your tongue out, man.
Listen, listen.
Yeah, yeah.
I just turned 50. I just got these.
Yeah, wow.
We live better than 99.9% of people.
No one's disagreeing with that, but in your heart at night, when you lay your head down on that pillow, you say to yourself, I know I deserve more.
No, that's what you said.
That's what you said.
We don't think that.
I never think a bad guy. I know I deserve more. No, that's what you said.
That's what you said.
That's what you said.
We don't think that.
I never think a bad girl.
I go in the front like that.
I think Aries deserves more in my mind.
You know what I'm about to go to bed.
You don't think that?
Yeah, I don't think that about you.
Based on your level of talent.
Yes, I will admit, I wonder why it went a certain way.
I have why it went a certain way.
I have accepted it, do you know what I'm saying? Doesn't mean I stop doing and being
and having the talent that I have,
but there's a certain level of acceptance
that after fucking decades,
you know, you have to just go, this is my journey.
This is what my journey.
This is what my journey's gonna be. Not what I thought it was gonna be.
And look, I've had some crazy shit happen in my life
that I certainly did not think was gonna be part,
but that's my journey.
And here's the thing, I'm a resilient mofo, motherfucker.
Yeah, dog, what's up? So that's. Yeah, do I have this big Hollywood career? I do not and to be perfectly honest
I I don't know that that's what I want anymore. I'd like some money, but
You know yeah, I
What I'm ending up with is a different kind of richness.
Cause you're wealthy.
And now have I had to choose that
in order to have that glass half full?
Perhaps, perhaps I have.
But my glass is half full because I see where I've arrived
and that is that I'm a resilient motherfucker.
You come at me with anything, I'm right there, man.
Whether it's good, bad, ugly, fascism, you come the fuck.
But I'm right there.
I'm strong.
Yeah.
I'm strong.
Without a bag of cash.
Because you know where your real wealth comes from.
I do.
I do.
And it is a life lesson.
It is a life lesson.
I never felt like anybody owed me shit.
For me, I'm exactly where I'm supposed to be doing
exactly what I'm supposed to be doing.
And for me, it was like, well,
what the fuck do I wanna do with my life?
Not what a business or career is.
I don't call myself having a career, I don't have a career.
I have creative opportunities that I can say yes to
or no to, bottom line, which is why you don't see me
on camera a lot.
I fucking tatted my fucking self up
because I don't give a fuck.
I'm going to do what I love to do,
and the door is open for me in terms of voiceover.
I'm going to start tatting myself up.
I think some neck patches would be nice.
Yeah.
Maybe a teardrop.
Oh wow, that's nice. Yeah, okay. Calm down. Yeah. I have one. Maybe a teardrop. Yeah, oh wow, that's nice.
Yeah, okay, calm down.
Yeah.
How do you feel now, Aries?
You know, I...
I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't.
You've done well, Aries.
And allow what's called.
Hold on, hold on, but I don't wanna be that guy
to shit on what y'all saying,
because I get where you're coming from.
But that-
Wait, what did she say?
About-
In a nutshell, tell me.
I don't think you get it.
No, I absolutely get it.
I hear it.
Well, then tell me what it is.
About being satisfied within your own journey,
and this is what your journey is.
Hallelujah.
Right.
Yeah.
But what I'm saying is, that sounds good.
No, it doesn't sound good. It is good.
She's living that.
What is missing?
What do you want?
Because I know you have money.
I saw what you rolled up in.
I'm driving a Fiat from 2011.
And I'm driving a fucking base model
Chevy motherfucking Spark.
Roll your windows up, bitch.
What are you talking about?
What the fuck are you talking about?
Where you come from?
Where you come from?
Nigga I live in a one bedroom apartment.
Don't tell me shit and I'm happier than a motherfucker with a manship.
Don't tell me shit about your life.
I want to be the motherfucker with the manship.
Why?
How many rooms do you need?
It's just always been my dream since a kid
that I wanna be that dude.
I wanna be as big as Kevin Hart.
But you are that dude.
I think it's the truth.
In terms of talent and ability.
Right, but you got it.
But my pockets don't show that.
But you know what, your equation, I get it.
But your equation, you'll never be satisfied.
I'm just gonna tell you right now.
No, no, hold on, hold on, hold on.
No, no, no, no.
What's the number?
Stop, what's the number?
What's the satisfaction number?
Your equation will never be satisfied.
Why?
Because some other motherfucker will come along
that'll take and blow the world up
and you'll wanna be that.
And then some other motherfucker will come around
and have as talented as you or possibly more
and then you're gonna get upset.
Because again, you focus on everything that is not you.
Everything you want.
But not what's in your present space.
No, listen, I hear you but what I'm just saying is
when I go to comedy clubs, and listen,
I'm not saying this is me saying this.
I'm telling you what people have said to me.
And they go, yo man, you one of the goats.
Yo, you a legend. And I go in my mind, no, no one of the goats. Yo, you a legend.
And I go in my mind, no, no, no, stop.
Eddie Murphy's a legend.
Richard Pryor is a legend.
Dave Chappelle.
I'm not damn.
And the reason I shut you off is because
if they tell you that, shut the fuck up,
listen to what they're saying and accept it.
Well, I do kinda.
You know what I'm saying?
But you always have no Aries
because you always have some shit after that
to say no, no, no, that's not yours.
Hey, but instead of.
But what I'm saying is,
but what I'm saying is it's hard for me
when I hear that nigga,
yo, you top five, you up there with Cat Lee, Dave Chappelle.
And I'm just going, if my talent is that.
Aries.
Then why Aries?
Aries, I have a question for you.
Yeah. I'm a question for you. Yeah. If you if tomorrow you got
that mansion and that big bag of cash you think a switch is just gonna flip on
for you and that you'll automatically be this is what I deserve
And I'm a happy man today if tomorrow that happened for you
From that aspect of having it. Let's say you said okay, you want your flowers. You're the goat
You've dreamt of this mansion your whole life
Yeah
if by midnight
You move into that mansion of your dreams and you get everything you've ever dreamt about, the money, the bag, the mansion,
whatever it is, do you think that you could sit there and be like, okay, I got it, I am fulfilled,
I am happy? I would be happy if I got that plus the things that really matter. What are the things
that really matter? I'm not a great father to my kids. Oh my God, my heart just exploded.
So I want to tighten up my relationship with my son.
Do that and maybe the mansion will fall.
And as much as I love the woman
who I want to marry for the third time, I cheat.
I fuck up with women.
So I have a problem with it.
But you have holes in your body
that not a mansion or a bag of cash will ever fill.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait, wait, wait, wait.
If I'm going to fuck up, let me fuck up with the mansion.
But not saying I want to fuck up.
I'm just simply saying that that exterior shit,
that's what I've dreamt about, that's what I want.
Now, if I got it tomorrow,
that part I could check off the list and go, I got it.
But I still would need that other shit to be in place too.
Which one can you control?
Why not both?
You can't control both.
Why not both?
Is that how you're going to answer that?
Moe, ask it again.
Which one can you control? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you want to be rich, you want to be right.
Because very rarely in this business can you be both.
And I don't subscribe to that.
I think you can be rich and right.
Is it a harder path?
Dave Chappelle is rich and right.
He does whatever he wants.
He says whatever he wants.
But Dave Chappelle doesn't have the same circumstances.
So when you tell me, hey, he's fucking other women, hey, he doesn't have a great relationship
with his kids, then come to me, then step to's fucking other women, hey, he doesn't have a great relationship with his kids,
then come to me, then step to me.
But you aren't, no.
You're telling me you have an opportunity
that you can create an opportunity
to be wealthy first here and then seat on the outside.
You're trying to get it both at the same time.
You're never gonna be rich out there.
You know why, motherfucker?
Because you ain't rich here.
No, right, because you're bankrupt. You're bankrupt, Aries. Aries, you're never gonna be out rich out there. You know why motherfucker? Cause you ain't rich in here. No, right, cause you're bankrupt.
You're bankrupt Aries.
Aries you're bankrupt.
That's a great, that's a great.
My thing is this.
That's a great chapter in a book.
No, it's the real.
Brother, I love you.
You are bankrupt.
And my thing is this, you don't have to be.
I know you, you're a good man.
If you wanna be a good father, continue being a good man. I know you Aries, so don't have to be. I know you, you're a good man. If you wanna be a good father, continue being a good man.
I know you Aries, so don't fuck with me
because right now I'm seeing you
and I'm a little pissed off.
I'm a little pissed off.
You're a good man.
You have-
Sometimes too good.
You can find out.
He's okay.
He's okay, man.
No, but it's not.
This shit is real.
No, but let me tell you something.
Don't go for the outside shit.
It won't make you happy,
and thank you for bringing that up.
You can be a good father right now.
The things that.
You can be a good man to your wife right now.
The things, well wait a minute now.
What I'm not gonna do is sit here
and completely shit on her.
All I'm simply saying is this is a two-sided affair.
So what I'm saying is this.
Yes, I've done my shit,
but she ain't fucking innocent. And one might say, well why even be in that toxic situation?
I don't know, but love is what it is. We got a chemistry and a thing that when we write,
we write, but when we not, we not. But couldn't you argue that you just
focus on keeping your side of the street clean?
Like there's nothing you can do to control a partner,
even if you have been together for a really long time.
Amen.
And marriage, marriage is like, they can't be.
You know what I'm saying?
It's like the ocean and ties, they go out,
they come back in, but you still stay focused on it.
It's not always gonna be that fire.
Yeah.
You know, sometimes it's just all farts and sometimes you just gotta grow the
fuck up.
You gotta be a man who continues to grow the fuck up.
But I've, I know your, for the people that I love and that I care about, I'll
give you my last fucking dime and Lord knows I have.
And I mean, I've just, I've broken bread so many times
and felt like I've either been not appreciated for it
or taken advantage of it.
So there's a part of me that, yeah, I'm angry.
I'm fucking angry.
You have a right, but you know what?
That's why you take that anger and make sure
it's not put in places where it doesn't belong.
Cause when life hands you shit,
brother love you are minerals. And when you you shit, brother love, you are minerals.
And when you put shit and minerals together,
you can grow fertilizer and put and grow more
than you've ever thought you could grow.
That's what I'm saying.
Plant a radish.
But my thing is this.
Don't do that.
My thing is this.
Thank you and thank you because those are the things
you can't control.
You can't control whether you get a mansion or not.
So you could be chasing your tail.
You never want to outrun the spaces
you can take care of as a man
in order to run to keep up with shit
that you don't have that is a dream.
Let it go for now, take care of the reality,
and trust that whatever is meant to come will come.
Because who knows, the man you grow into,
like Moe, you may decide,
I don't even know if I want that anymore.
Because I found that my relationship with my son,
my relationship with my children,
you may not know that Aries
until you start moving in that direction.
You know what I'm saying?
That's how you grow yourself.
You better know yourself.
I want to remind everybody this is a comedy podcast.
I know, right?
I think this isn't quite the same.
This isn't quite the same at all.
But you know, Bobby and I were together for a decade.
And we were stuck in this small, tight two bedroom
apartment that Mo you were in.
And his career wasn't going well.
I was, fuck, what the fuck was I doing with my life?
Dude, so when the,
When we thought,
When Hangover, right, and I called my agent,
I could not audition for that part, the Ken Jeong Park.
Hangover, they go, we don't even wanna see him.
They wouldn't even let me audition.
Not for Crazy Rich Asians.
Not for Crazy Rich Asians.
Not for Hangover. The interview.
Not the interview when he could have played like Kim Jong.
Yeah, they call and they go, we don't wanna see him.
Right, so he was. They wouldn't even let me in the room.
So my point is that I feel what you're saying, right?
Cause I'm a very funny guy.
I'm as funny as those guys.
I know their talent levels.
I'm very good, You know what I mean?
But I had that's my reality and I just kind of shifted into things that I can control
But what I found which is this podcast wait go ahead my most the most interesting thing was that we were so sure
Because we were going through personal stuff relationship stuff
And we were so sure that the moment that we moved in to a big house in a nice neighborhood
with a yard for our dogs that somehow magically our relationship would be saved.
And the moment we got exactly what we fantasized for years about our relationship unraveled.
And it's all of this to say you think you want it so bad and that's
going to be your salvation, but the moment you get there, there are other things that were far
more important that you weren't willing to address along the way. And that's what we failed to do as
a couple. And I just, I mean, it's just one of the, a testament to you think you want it till you get there. And I think that for now,
you've had such an exceptional journey
that is far from over,
that there is so much work to be done.
And if you just maybe focus on getting
all of those things done, your kids most importantly,
I think that you can have it all.
You can be rich and right, and it's not over.
And yeah, that was my two cents.
Thank you, it's more than two cents.
That was a million dollars worth.
Thank you, Deborah.
Yeah.
And I wanna, can I say one last thing?
May I say one last thing?
Yes. Okay.
Is that television film,
it doesn't do what you think it does anymore.
It's dead.
Well, it's not like I'm saying-
What I'm saying, let me talk, it's my show.
All right?
You're a little sad little creature, aren't you?
Oh, my little broken little sad creature.
Oh my God.
I just want to curdle you.
I don't curdle.
God.
Yeah, whatever.
Curdle this.
I want to churn you, dude.
Like a butter.
Like butter, dude.
You know what I mean?
No diddy.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
But my point is this, is it's dead.
Like I know dudes in my life that are series regular
on a couple of shows.
No one knows their name.
They don't make any money, right?
They don't make any money?
They make some?
I mean, they make, they don't make what,
they make less than what we made on Mad,
which was the lowest that you can make would you make
In the beginning yeah four thousand dollars an episode yeah, what'd you end up at?
They can ask you a question for yeah, what'd you end up at 15?
Great, would you end up at 20 fuck my life? You ended up at? 15. Great. What'd you end up at? 20.
Fuck my life.
You ended up at 20?
I ended up at 15.
And they-
You ended up at 20?
Like you said, you're done.
Oh, I know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Even though when I went beyond the contract, they're like, they're not going-
What did you end up?
Bobby, what are you doing?
What are you doing, Bobby?
You ended up at 15?
Yeah.
Me and Michael got 20.
See what I'm talking about?
Michael- Does it burn? God damn right it does. My little broken creature. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Me and Michael got 20. See what I'm talking about? Michael.
Does it burn?
God damn right it does.
My little broken creature?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Are you sad?
A little dumb?
It's just numbers.
Yeah, they're just numbers, they're.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I don't know why. In comparison to my life,
they're just numbers.
I don't know why, when, I don't know why they just,
my agents just did it. I don't know, I didn, my agents just did it.
I don't know, I didn't ask for it.
Really?
Well, I remember there was a point in time
where they didn't even.
You didn't even have to try.
Bobby stop, Bobby, Bobby stop.
What's it like not having to try?
Oh Bobby, do tell us, what's that like?
To not have to try where they just hand you things.
It was years later when you left.
It was my seventh and eighth year.
You were long gone.
No, I know.
You know what I mean?
That's all.
It's called-
And I haven't seen that kind of money since.
Inflation.
Inflation.
Inflation, thank you.
And my thing is-
And shit is going way down now.
You know what?
Good for you.
Thank you so much, Deborah.
Give me a high five.
Absolutely. I didn't say I was unhappy for it. No, no, no, not you. I'm just saying for me. You know what, good for you. Thank you so much, Deborah. Give me a high five. Absolutely.
No, no, no, not you.
I'm just saying for me.
I'm just going good for you.
Well, it should have been it should.
Things should keep going up from there.
Unfortunately, they've gone way down.
I don't know about the rest of you, but yeah.
It's so funny.
It's gone down.
Yeah, way down, way down.
What I'm saying is that what you think, it's not what?
You get a lead in the movie.
Well, it's not like I'm sitting back.
Nothing's gonna happen.
It's not like I'm sitting back waiting for something.
I'm putting some shit together myself.
I'm gonna tell you something right now,
the last thing, because it's my show,
can I just say one last thing?
Yes.
So one day I was watching, I was at the Laugh Factory
and I ran into Marilyn Rice Cup.
Oh yeah.
And she goes, can you, so I brought her
to the comedy store and I introduced,
you know, the talent coordinator to Marilyn. And I go, you're on TV shows, why do you want to do stand-ups? She goes, this
is the future. I go, what do you mean? It's like, I want to build my own franchise. You
know what I mean? Because being, you know what I mean, going through these, what do
you call it, roadblocks and these people that make decisions for you, one day my time is going to be up
and I want to have my own thing I can control, right?
And she kind of opened my mind up to like, you know what, I think the path that I'm in
is probably the right one.
That's really, you know, it's like with my management, I've said to them, you know, I'm
not going to take certain things just to go work, you know, I would rather if I'm not gonna take certain things just to go work. I would rather, if I'm gonna disappear in this business,
which is sort of happening with Hollywood, that's fine.
But you know what remains is the Mo Collins that I built.
I would rather just not work and let the things
that I've done that I made a name for myself with live,
whether it's mad TV stuff
or parks and recreation, that Mo Collins will live for us.
I'd rather just let that live and go away
than go on and do some, you know, just non-character thing,
some guest star that's nothing or a co-star or something
where sure, I'll get, you know, a thousand dollar check
or something, 2,000, but I a $1,000 check or something,
2,000, but I don't wanna do that and disappear like that,
because even though you show up in those little ways,
they're like, ugh, that's that Moe Collin?
I don't want that.
I'd rather die and just let the things that I did
that are my brand or whatever,
I want those to be my legacy.
You've had a great legacy.
Yeah, I have.
Right? I have. In Parks and a great legacy. Yeah, I have. Right?
I have.
In Parks and Rec.
Totally, totally.
The Walking Dead show.
Those are huge things.
More than I've ever done.
More than I've ever done.
And I've been in this business for 35 years.
I'm completely happy, proud of what I have done.
And it's because a lot of the reason it's so great
is because of the no's that I did put out there.
No, I will not do that.
Can I just say I love your character, I'm Park Jong.
Oh, thanks.
I what?
Jong.
I mean, Park Jong.
Yeah.
You said Park Jong.
I love your character, Jong.
This is my sidekick.
He didn't say shit.
Let me just say something.
Wait, I'm a nobody.
Hold on a second.
Wait, wait, hold on. I wanna hear this, Bobby. Let me just say something. Hold on a second.
I want to hear this Bobby. I want to fucking hear this.
I'm a nobody.
I'm a comedian.
I'm 28 but I love
watching this because I grew up watching
Mad TV. Big inspiration
from everybody. Thank you.
And you too Bobby. My son is older than you.
That's crazy.
That's crazy that you were a brand new mom trying to figure out a life in LA.
Yeah.
That's nuts to me.
With a baby.
It was wild.
I know.
It was wild.
He was too when I came out.
That's insane.
And you know, those early, like, you know, sometimes I remember like going to pick him
up from school or whatever, like, you know like in my Doreen curlers or whatever.
Do you remember Big Hands?
My ex-husband.
Yeah, yeah.
I call him Big Hands.
I know you did.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He had large hands.
No, no.
Gill, what?
Why are you so excited about that?
I know.
Just put your hand up.
This is my hand.
Put your hand like this.
You know what I mean?
You should see how big my husband's hands are now,
the new one.
Bigger?
Jesus Christ.
Yeah.
What, I like hands.
Yeah.
What are you doing?
I have a thing for hands too, so I get it.
You got somewhere else to be?
No, no, I was just checking something.
You got a little click?
No, not at all.
A little notification?
Not at all.
Swipe it to the left.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Wow, wow, wow, Raya, what's going on?
Not at all. All right, okay, good. What did we learn? left. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow, wow. Mariah, what's going on? Not at all.
All right, okay, good.
What did we learn?
Oh.
Oh, well.
Were we supposed to learn something?
Okay, this is where now I was involved.
Hold up, real quick.
Yeah, yeah.
Is this almost over?
No.
Oh, because I want to-
And when we land.
No, but I want to do something with Debra before we go.
I want to make sure I-
We'll do that.
Okay.
When we fucking do it. Yes, sir. All right
That's a nice. That's a nice picture. Yeah
Who's the girl above me? Oh
That was uh, yeah, Jill Michelle. Yeah. Yeah. Wow
And then where's is this your last year Deborah?
No, what season is this?
Season eight, I believe.
Oh, that was season eight then,
season eight or season seven?
I thought that was seven.
Oh, this might be seven, actually.
It's not seven, it's eight.
It has to be eight.
No, I think that's seven.
What does it say?
It says season eight.
Season eight.
It is?
It's season eight, yeah,
because- Yeah, that was like my last year.
Yeah, because she came on my second year, Jill Michelle.
Okay.
Yeah, so that was your last year.
That was my last year.
Last year, Aries?
Yeah.
No, it wasn't.
No, it wasn't.
You went on after me.
No.
No.
You did not.
Because you were, you bled in with the Key and Peele era,
the Ike era.
Right, I did not, I was done.
This is season seven, I wasn't in that fucking year.
You did the outro, remember?
That day when you told everybody I was leaving.
You did the outro.
Can you pull up season nine real quick?
Yep.
Season nine.
Is that season nine?
Oh yeah, you're right.
Yeah, you're there.
And then that's Ron Peterson.
Oh my God.
Ike and Josh.
Wow.
Paul Vought.
Paul Vought.
Paul Vought, love him. That's Vought. Paul Vought, loved him. Wow.
That's you Mo, right?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Stephanie Weir.
Yeah.
You know, I'll be honest with you.
You know who, you know, Mike didn't talk to me
for years either, the first couple of years.
Didn't talk to you?
No, at all.
I was so scared of him that I would just,
if I could see him down the hallway,
you know over at Hollywood Center Studio?
Yeah.
I would turn the other way.
I was just so nervous around him.
Me and Mike had a weird relationship too.
Yeah.
Yeah, you guys.
I think I told you, he reached out to me,
I think I reached out to him on Twitter,
and he was like, oh, I thought you died.
And I was like, oh, I thought you had AIDS.
Yeah, yeah.
It goes right back to him. But what I realized is that's, you had eight. Yeah, yeah. It goes right back to him.
What I realized is that's just who he is.
Yeah.
Oh, that's just who he is.
Silly old Mike, you know what I mean?
I did Sling Up Together and he directed an episode.
And it was like, you know, since Matt, I was series regular only on two shows.
But when he came on direct, it was just, I don't know, I just felt so happy.
Oh.
He was just, we were giggling and yeah, yeah.
Why he hasn't cast me in anything yet.
Yeah.
Because I don't think episodic directors
have control in casting.
Oh, OK.
I mean, do they?
I don't know.
No.
I don't know.
I don't know anything.
What's the lesson you were on screen on anything?
Television or film-wise? Because I,'t know. No. I don't know, I don't know anything. What's the lesson you were on screen on anything? Television or film-wise, because I, if anything.
Either, either.
I did, I worked on three independent projects
in the last year to two years.
But there, and my thing is this, I'm like Moe.
I want to do it because it has heart, it has soul,
and I know there's no money involved,
but I want to have a creative space that I just say,
how can I be of service in this space?
I'll shoot you my script.
And so, I always, I'm always open, I don't care what it is,
I'm always open to someone says,
listen, I have this creative space,
and I want you a part of it.
And I told my agent, I said, I'll never be your moneymaker,
I will never be your moneymaker,
but if there's somebody who comes along
and has a creative space that I feel like I can blend with,
all I wanna do is tell people stories.
And so that's why VoiceOver for me has been massive.
It's been massive.
Money-wise, no, but is it massive in terms of
telling stories and being all these things
and having a rep in it?
Yes.
And I'm a gamer, so when I'm at home,
there's been some games where I'm like,
what do you play? It's Deborah. Oh, that's great. Oh, yeah. What do you a gamer, so when I'm at home, there's been some games where I'm like, what do you play?
It's Deborah.
Oh, that's great.
Oh, yeah.
What do you play?
What do you play?
You were on, what's the,
the zombie game,
Days, Days.
Days Gone.
Days Gone.
What'd you play in that?
And the last, and.
Call of Duty.
Call of, a couple of Call of Duties.
Star Wars Jedi Fallen Order.
Yeah, and that was the other thing that creeped me out.
It was your likeness.
Wow, wow, wow.
That's wild.
That's wild.
Oh my gosh.
That's incredible.
That is not Orlando Jones.
So God of War Ragnarok.
Yep, yep.
Yeah, wow.
Suicide Squad killed the Justice League.
Yeah.
Wow, you did a lot of that. I actually played all those games. Wow. I know your agent, Brittany. Yeah.
Yeah, yeah. I love her. Yeah. He's amazing. He's amazing. Yeah. And I told him, I'm like,
you know, so I'm just going to, I'm going to keep living life because life is going to keep
doing what it does. So I'm just going to keep doing what I do. Amen. Mama. I have lots of animals
too. So I mean. How many do you have? Twenty what what oh my god of what?
Hamsters the snakes and stuff I have the crickets I
Have well now I'm I had I had
Six snakes I'm down to one snake I had
Snakes I've had everything from snakes, tarantulas,
lizards, frogs, toads, you name it.
I have, yeah, that was Lizzie.
Let me ask you something about snakes.
Do they recognize you?
They recognize your smell.
They don't recognize you.
So yeah, because I have a right now,
I have a mess named black king snakes about five feet long.
Yeah, and I had 16 tarantulas,
then went down to six and then two,
and then I rehomed them.
And I used to be a,
I also used to do that with a wrangle scorpions as well.
Do you have regular animals, like regular ones?
They are regular animals.
They are regular animals. Just accept that. Just they're regular animals like regular ones like they are animals? They are regular animals just accept that yes
They're they're exotic animals what I'm saying what I'm saying is is you have like traditional on pets like a dog or a cat
All of them are traditional animals and traditional pets go with it
Because there's a huge there's a huge world out there that you have a dog or a cat
I also have a dog okay good, but there's a huge world out there of people who have exotics and it's very common in the hobby.
Yeah, yeah, I understand that.
You know what I mean?
I've been to Hot Topic, I've seen them.
I have a small dog.
What?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have a 210 pound dog.
That's normal.
Is it?
I don't think it is.
Is it a Mastiff?
Dane Mastiff.
Wow.
210 pounds.
When you said 210, I'm like, yeah.
When they say they have dogs, probably.
And then a little pit bull.
You're a little hungry?
Okay, Ares just had a joke,
there was a little talking over it.
Tell the joke again, please.
And when they mention dogs, you get a little bit hungry?
And that's the show, everybody.
Ah!
Woo!
No, no, no, no.
A little.
My point is, no, I have four dogs.
Oh, that's right, yeah.
You have three cats, no.
I love them like my family. Yeah, okay
I have a cat too. Yeah, do you fight your dogs?
How does it feel? How does it feel?
Okay, I could I could go there too aries don't worry because I I'm working in my head
But i'm like, you know, I couldn't pull it off. It's the same way you do. Yeah, you got another dogging joke
Yeah, okay. Let's see your version. Let's see your version. Okay, so do you walk your dog?
Oh, there's a dog?
Oh, do you see that?
I like that one.
You walk your dog.
Okay, Mel Collins, your turn next.
What's your agent's name?
Oh, please, let's say this thing.
Oh, Bobby.
Yeah, yeah.
You gotta do a dog eating joke.
I'm not done.
I got one more.
I got one more.
I love dogs too, but like you,
I can't eat a whole one by myself.
Wow, wow.
That's another go at it.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. Are you serious? You're gonna ask the white lady? I can't eat a whole one by myself. Wow, wow. That's another one, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Are you serious?
You're gonna ask the white lady?
Oh yeah, you're right, you're right.
That would come back on me so fast and hard.
That's not right.
Okay, okay, yeah.
Mo wrote the second one.
No, I didn't.
I had nothing to do with it.
Don't get me in trouble, god damn it.
Is that your master?
That's Walter, yeah.
Oh, that's good. Oh, my god. Is that your master? That's Walter, yeah. Oh, that's good, yeah.
Oh my god.
His head is bigger than yours.
Yeah.
I don't have dogs because I'm scared of them.
Oh really?
Come over and meet Walter.
He's the most docile dog you could possibly have.
Yeah, his head is bigger than yours,
but Aries' head is bigger than his.
Maybe.
Yeah, yeah.
You have a very big head, huh?
Both.
Are you working it?
Which is why it always gets you in trouble.
No, honestly, let's be honest.
You're dick big?
Not at all.
I'm girthy though.
Oh God.
Like a spam tank.
There's just things you don't wanna know.
You know what I mean?
Like the kind of Pringles can, not the whole one, but the-
Oh, the little one?
The little Pringles, yeah.
That seems like it hurts.
Okay.
Has everyone here seen your friend? Who? tokyo tokyo the dumb dumb scene in Vegas
No, let me ask you something. Oh my one time. Oh my god in Vegas. Holy shit. That was insane
That trip I had a kid dragged me by my hair through two casinos because I had my penis out. Are you serious?
Yeah, yeah, so many fucking the hotel? Yeah. Yeah, so many hotel. Yeah
I was just being dragged like this. It was crazy. You relapse. Yeah when I relapse. Yeah
Yeah, I mean that that trip started with you sitting next to me on the airplane and you pulled out a
Baggie of all kinds of I do you remember that you let it's I'm like Bobby. Yeah. Yeah
I know put that away like I got
Terrified I got terrified.
I got in trouble because one of the strokes played.
So the strokes that get banned.
And so I heard a week later that Drew Barrymore
was dating the drummer and she was mad at me
because he almost overdosed because of the drugs
I had in my pocket.
Oh my God.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
She came to the set and she was not happy. She came to watch the band. Yeah, yeah, I. I do that too. She came to the set and she was not happy. Yeah, yeah.
She came to watch the band.
Yeah, yeah.
I had a big bowl of drugs in my dressing room.
Oh my God.
Yeah, yeah.
It was bad.
But anyway, let's talk about the good times.
Okay.
Do a funny giggle like that, please.
Do what?
Funny giggle.
What we just did, we all did improv.
You were funny. Aries. Yeah, Aries. We all did improv. You was funny.
Aries.
Yeah Aries.
Stop everyone quiet.
Aries.
Aries.
Please.
Aries please.
I'm too cool.
No no no.
Aries you gotta do it dude.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Cause it's as good as it's gonna get.
Yeah yeah yeah.
Yeah.
Here's what I want to do something with Debra real quick. Okay.
Because I was so envious of this.
Okay.
Remember when they did the soprano sketch on Mad
and you did that kick ass Dr. Melfi
and then Will did Tony?
Mm-hmm.
I was such a soprano's fan.
I know.
That I never could do a Tony soprano.
So now I think I've mastered it.
Okay.
So I want you to be Dr. Melfi.
So Tony, when you walk in here,
what are you bringing with you inside of you?
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ.
You got to be fucking serious.
I did it.
The problems with my kids matter with AJ and calm.
And are you going to give it to me?
I gave her my fucking sister Janice and Uncle Jun and Daddy Shaq.
I'm tellin' you what the fuckin' is.
Jesus fuckin' Christ.
But why do you have so much anger in you right now?
It's got nothing to do with anger.
It's all the pent-up emotion from all the shit
that I went through with my mother.
My father was a, she fuckin' drove him crazy.
Sanics, pills, almost fuckin' suicide.
I'm Connie Chung.
Wow, Bobby.
That was brilliant.
That was brilliant.
That was more than pretty good.
That was spot on.
What other impressions did we not know
about that you've been working on?
Oh, but his Denzel is...
No, stop, stop, stop. I stopped doing that.
No, because of a brother named C King.
He shut it down.
Really?
His Denzel, his Denzel, like Frank Kelly and those Madden.
It just was on lock.
Okay.
Yeah, I didn't.
I like your Shaq impression.
So I dominate 24 and 10.
He's a 24 and 10, that's barbecue chicken.
You got dominated that big man house, I know that. That's great. Mo, that's barbecue chicken. You got Dominick in that pay big man house,
I know that.
That's great.
Mo, do you have any impressions?
Yeah, I know it's never won, I just don't know how to do it.
I did a shit ton on MADtv.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, it's not like I went,
I left the show and went,
I'm gonna continue coming up with impressions.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, but I did them.
I do a black lady, cause I got it from Aries.
I do a black lady Al Pacino.
Oh, we'd love to hear it.
Black lady Al Pacino?
Yeah.
So, Aries, I used to watch you do it fast, quick, smart.
Yeah, loved what you did.
So I took it to the next level.
Wow.
Shaved my head, got tattooed.
Yeah, you started, but I finished it.
Do Daenerys.
That scared the shit out of me.
Yeah.
Oh God.
Wow.
Incredible.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, is there anything else you guys want to say?
Can I ask one last question?
Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Like, do you guys think like we can bring back
MadTV? Like they tried. Wait, wait, wait. Well, not that they tried. Wait, did you do
that or no? Yeah, I did. Yeah, I did too. Did you do it? You can't do it. It was horrendous.
It was CW. It doesn't work. Like just that, that, that and the time slot was nine. That's
what I'm saying. Prime time and CW, you cannot, it was a late night Fox show
when it was, Fox was cable.
In the 90s.
Yeah, like you cannot do it.
You can't do it anymore.
You don't think so?
And not like that.
And if they tried, I would have no part of it.
If they tried, I would have absolutely no part of it.
Is that only because they wouldn't give us the freedom
that we had then?
No, but I'm a different person. Really? Yeah. yeah, those days are done. Those days are done for me.
Okay, yeah. What did you play on the new one, the new mad? Oh, shit, I think it's
Cosby. We did Cosby, remember? Oh, so you did it too? As guest stars. Yep. As guest stars.
Only as guest stars. Do you remember what you did? They had me do Lorraine. Oh, cool. Yeah, yeah. Whatever other sketches, I, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, true, right? Hot dog! Uh oh, hot dog. Oh, this is it. Yeah, yeah. Oh my god.
Like I had never left. Oh my god. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was crazy. Yeah, that looks like Matt. Yeah, that was Matt.
That was actually fun to do with Ike. Yeah.
It'd be fun to do, like I miss doing sketch.
I really do.
I miss it all.
I miss working.
But I do miss...
I'm not going to cry.
I told myself I wasn't going to cry.
But I do, I miss comedy so much.
You know, like I would love to...
Mo, I really strongly suggest you do stand up again. I miss comedy so much. You know, like I would love to be doing comedy.
I really strongly suggest you do stand up again.
I probably should.
And really dedicate yourself to it.
Oh, wow.
Because I'm being real.
If you got 30 minutes, right, 25 to 30 minutes.
Well, I mean, I still do go out and do like.
You would open for me and I do pretty big rooms.
I pay you well, you know what I mean?
I mean, you know what I mean?
I still go out and do 20. Yeah, but Aries and I would help big rooms, I pay you well. You know what I mean? You know what I mean? We would-
I still go out and do 20.
Yeah, but Aries and I would help you, right?
Like, imagine Moe as a feature.
Yeah.
Okay, that's, this is-
That was a no.
That was a no.
Yeah, that was a no.
That was a no, dude.
That was totally a no.
Oh, you're not a good actor, dude.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You're like, yeah!
Absolutely.
That didn't help. You at her and say absolutely.
Absolutely.
Liar.
Now, I love doing standup.
I really do.
I love it.
But you know, it's also, it's a little different as a pretty much 60 year old woman.
I don't know, man.
I do.
I do because I am that.
I know, but I-
No, but I'm going to disagree to a certain extent because know, but I see. No, but I'm gonna disagree to a certain extent
because Mo, you're you.
No, and I agree.
And I, you know, people do like, you know,
when I was headlining and stuff,
I would interject, you know, Doreen or Lorraine,
because I'm there to give them what they want.
It wasn't, I would just throw it out here and there
and that satisfied them and it was great.
And I know why people go to those shows
and why they would be there
was to see Mo Collins from MADtv.
Yeah, I know that.
Yeah.
You know, and the rest is all dry pussy shit.
Yeah.
Man paws.
You know what I'm saying?
Vaginismus, all the good stuff.
Wherever you are in your life is still highly valued
because you don't,
but see that's right,
because you're not looking at the outside.
I have to look at it from the outside because you have to remember something. I'm not just shut up
I'm not just your friend. I'm your fan
So I'm telling you as an older woman looking at you even if I was younger
I want to be able to glean some information
Laugh at what you have to say and hear where you are now instead of you feeling like you have to be
Performative in a different way.
And I love that about, like, I mean,
my standup is very truthful, honest,
it's where I'm at, you know, and I do love that,
but I just don't, I don't see, I don't see.
Okay.
That's okay that you don't see it,
because I see it, I see it as gold, fucking gold.
It's insane.
It's insane.
Here's what I do wanna do, and I'm gonna put this on the,
I'm gonna say this in the mic right now,
put in and out there.
Here's a show I've done a couple times for myself.
It's called Mo Collins is Wigging Out.
Now it's taking everything that I am
that I'm really good at.
It's me, it's my standup aspect.
I go out, I dump 50 fucking wigs on the stage,
and I have people, a person will come up and pick a wig,
and there's a mirror on stage, and I'll people, a person will come up and pick a wig and there's a mirror
on stage and I'll get suggestions from the audience and I create a character in front
of them and do a monologue or whatever.
That's so fun.
And then I tease and have fun with the audience because I'm really good at that.
And that's, I should be touring that.
Yes.
That's brilliant.
And that's the theater show rather than the stand up.
And that's what I would love to do. Okay, then do it.
And you know how you start that?
In your stand up act, that's the last thing you do.
Do your stand up, do 10 minutes of stand up,
and then do that one thing.
That's how the ball gets rolling.
Cause now audience have seen that,
and they know they're not gonna see
the same fucking thing twice.
Mo, you are fucking gold. I'm also tired. You're gonna find your
energy because what's gonna happen is it's gonna start to steamroll. I think
that's genius and I think starting it with stand-up first and then doing that
as the last thing before you get off stage. Let people roar and laugh. Moe,
again, I'm not telling you this as someone in the industry. I'm telling you
this as a fucking fan.
I appreciate that.
I'm your hugest fan.
That's really cool.
You're so fucking talented.
Thank you, I appreciate that.
One of my favorite jokes by you
is when you tell a joke where you go,
your dad says, if you get everybody die.
Oh, thank you.
First time I heard that, I was in fucking tears.
Thank you so much.
The way you say that with that delivery, oh my God. Thank you god Thank you so much. I'm doing my first special on Hulu and I should film it in January. Oh
No, I'm gonna this January. Oh, wow
Never done a special before some congratulations. Have you really not never done one now all the years all the years
The many years that I lived yeah
Been doing stand-up, I mean,
I'm actually surprised, because I feel like everybody, I mean.
Well, here's, I mean, back to what areas it feels, it's like.
Everybody but you.
I know, what I'm saying is it's like.
Alex Borstein did a special.
There's, you know, people like, like, I'm doing it for Hulu,
but imagine the other companies.
They didn't want anything to do with me.
Really?
We would call, they would, nothing.
So it's like, I went with.
You're kidding me.
Where the love is.
I only, I'm a nice guy.
I really am, I'm very generous.
We're not debating, we will after the show.
I feel like I'm a nice guy in this and that, right?
And I'm like, you know, I'm willing to do,
work with anybody, but it's like, you know,
I go where the love is because I don't,
I'm so sensitive, you know what I mean?
And so Hulu's been loving to you? They were just out of the gate's like, you know, I go where the love is because I don't, I'm so sensitive, you know what I mean? Like I don't like rejection.
And so Hulu has been loving to you?
They were just out of the gate, like,
what do we need to do to make this happen?
So I was like, I'll go here because it's, you know.
Yeah, I'm not gonna like showcase a thousand times
and do any of that.
What are you looking at, dog?
You. Okay.
I was looking in your eyes while you say that.
All right, so I wanna say this last thing, okay?
You know in my life, you know, I don't know what I'm gonna die but I think that none of us do I know
I understand that yeah, but if there was like six chapters in my life, I think mad TV would be one whole chapter
It I look back at it as I learned so much on that show
I relapse on that show, but then I got sober on that show.
You mean I got to work with all the generations
because I was in the middle.
You know what I mean?
So I got you guys and then I got the new kids
like Josh and Ike and Jordan and all those guys,
Nicole Parker, Keegan, you know what I mean?
And so I look back at that as a really fond memory.
And I'll tell you another thing,
is that I wish I appreciated it.
Like at live shows, you're getting set up, it's dark.
I remember me and I did a sketch where it bombed so badly.
And so, you know what I mean?
And after the sketch was done,
him and I collapsed on the ground
and we started laughing because we bombed so bad.
But all those little experiences,
I cherish in my heart.
So much.
And nothing's ever matched it in my life, in my career.
This is a different experience and I love it here too
and Tiger Belly and Bad Friends, all the things I do,
are also chapters in my life probably,
but I look back at it and so when I see you guys,
I don't see you guys as even stand-ups like I grew up with in a completely
different thing like we went to war together. It really holds something like
it is very different after all the other shows I've done and stuff.
Mad TV does hold this very extraordinary space. It's totally in agreement.
Because there's also a personal dynamic,
not just a work dynamic and a career dynamic.
I mean, there was a personal dynamic.
Everyone was going through some shit
and you are exposed to a certain extent
and raw to a certain extent.
And I think that's what's powerful
because the things you remember
were not just about the show, but how you grew.
It was family.
Yes. And still is. I feel family. Yes. And still is.
I feel that.
Yeah, it still is.
That's what is sort of proof of it.
Like we're sitting here today, and I
know that you're my family.
Whether I see you much or not, you got to call me, Aries.
Yeah.
But you know, it's-
Good luck getting that one.
It's never going to happen.
But it goes right back to who we were,
even though we've grown so much since then, whatever,
but there's a place that we return to
that could feel it driving over here.
It's like I could feel whatever DNA I still have in me
that is that person that would go to work
at MADtv every day.
And it's cool, it's a good feeling, it's comfortable.
Especially knowing these were the three that showed up.
I was over the moon thrilled. Over the moon thrilled.
Aries, any last...
You know, man, I...
You didn't like it?
No, I...
I love SNL.
I wouldn't have been here if it wasn't, you know, something that, you know, was in my heart,
you know what I mean?
Like,
No, I don't know me, be specific.
I'm saying, I hadn't seen Deborah since the last time
I saw her, you know, I always,
I always feel good when I post something on Instagram
and Moe comments, cause I don't see Moe.
So it's like, oh shit, she ain't, you know,
she ain't forgotten about me.
You know what I mean?
So, you know, and again, I know it was kind of tough
getting you and me on the right page,
but now that that's happened,
I wouldn't have missed this for the world.
Like I said, I was a little disappointed
that Will didn't show up.
He's done this so many times.
I know, but Will is like, like I said,
he was one of the guys comed comedically, I just danced with.
You know what I mean?
He really is a glue.
Don't you think?
I totally agree.
Because he's the unexpected glue.
And a good guy.
A good guy.
Yeah, yeah.
Probably fans don't necessarily think that as far as the family aspect goes.
Yeah.
Will was a glue.
I don't know that there was anybody that in the cast, no matter when,
that did not get along with Will. Unlike you, Arias, when I first got on the show, even though I was
nervous and even though I bombed at table reads and all that stuff, he wouldn't find him in his
house. He would go out. We'd go to a farmer's market. We'd go to parties together. Yeah. So,
unlike you, he is different. You're a glue in a sense that, like, you know,
it's not that sticky.
Yeah, the glue's not that sticky, but, you know,
I think we're sticking now.
Yeah, listen, I'm where I am now.
I love you, bud.
I'm where I am now out of maturity,
because for a long time, I was on my attitude shit.
Like, I was on my, I'm Airy Spears, I'm the shit.
You've softened.
I think you've softened.
I've been softened.
No, you've softened.
Not been, you are softened.
You're a softer guy.
And I think that honestly, I think that if you got-
Be okay with that, that's not a bad thing.
Nah, I, you know.
You're reachable.
And I wanna say this, and I think that if you got everything that you ever wanted, you
wouldn't be soft.
I think that you'd be alone.
I'm like Mike Tyson now.
But there was a point in time where I was trying to bite ears and.
Yeah, yeah.
Mike's very nice.
I had that, that, that ferociousness in me out of.
I mean, he was every way champion, but okay, compare yourself.
One of the greatest boxers in the world.
I'm like Mike Tyson. I can see it too. champion but okay compared to but yeah man I hear what you're saying you know I
don't think you do but I really do all right all right you know yeah any last
words because let me say something this is way better than I ever would even dream of doing.
He was very nervous before this.
I was so nervous.
Were you really?
Oh yeah, because I was like,
I mean, how long have we done?
What?
How long have we done?
Oh, almost like, yeah, almost two hours, three hours.
Yeah, we do one hour.
And I have to count, like sometimes when I'm doing an hour,
I'll be like, we must be done by now,
and I'll look down and it's like,
I told you when the music's right, dance motherfucker.
We was dancing.
Yes, okay.
You can say it.
All right.
There's no, there's no,
yo, we gotta go in a sequential order.
No, the music is playing.
Yeah, yeah, still, dog.
All right, homie?
I got you, baby.
I got you, baby, too.
And so I'll say the last word, if you may, if I may.
I love you guys so much,
and I really appreciate you showing up for me.
I love you, Bobby.
This is a big deal.
This is my 500th episode of this podcast.
Love you, Bobby.
And I couldn't dream of anyone better than you guys.
You're looking mostly at Aries.
Yeah, yeah.
I mean, I had George Lopez yesterday, you know what I mean?
But you guys are just as good.
Yeah, just as good.
No, honestly, thank you so much, and I love you.
I love you.
Give them a round of applause.
Sacrebelly 500.
Let's go another five.
Let's go another five. I'm a cup of lollipop I'm a cup of lollipop I'm a cup of lollipop
I'm a cup of lollipop
I'm a cup of lollipop
I'm a cup of lollipop
I'm a cup of lollipop
I'm a cup of lollipop
I'm a cup of lollipop
I'm a cup of lollipop
You know Jaime?
Are you crazy?
Jaime, I don't think I've ever seen your hair.
On my head or on my head?
Talk it to the mic.
Your head ever.
On my head or your what?
What else would the hair be on?
Well you have a bigger head than Gilbert.
Mike.
Yeah.
It's like a bowling ball.
But it's like.
Yeah, yeah.
It's a perfect circle almost.
But it's not flat in the back.
It looks nice.
Can I see your back?
Yeah. It's a little. almost. But it's not flat in the back, it looks nice. Can I see your back? Yeah.
What?
It's a little.
Be honest with me.
It's a Franken head at the back.
Look at it.
Let me see.
What?
Yeah, yeah.
You know what they say.
Let me see the back, all the way in the back.
No.
No.
Let me see the back all the way.
You have the same head as me.
Yeah, that's it.
He has good hair, thick hair.
You have nice hair.
I had to shave it.
I mean, if you were gonna rate him, what would it be?
Um, like physicality?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, everything.
I give Jaime a solid overall seven.
That's so generous.
You're such a fucking liar.
You're so lucky that you said that.
You're a liar fast. That's crazy.
But you're also asking a person, like on a scale of zero to Bobby, he's a seven.
Like you're my ten.
No. Let me just say something, okay?
We're talking about...
Just take it.
World metrics.
Just take it.
What are the world... Okay, give me a zero to what Brad Pitt? So to me I'll tell you, okay so I think that like,
I even think like Michael Cera is a five.
Okay.
You know what I mean?
Five, you put him at a five, okay.
He's a five or six, average.
Is that just physical or like his career and
No that's without career.
Career makes him nine.
Physical only.
Yeah, so and then let me get, let's see.
Give me a two.
A two?
Alex, you're a two?
Yeah, you're a two.
Yeah, yeah, you're a two.
You're a two or three.
Oh, wait, or three?
What makes it a three?
What is he wearing when it gives him a three?
When he opens his mouth and I'm fond of him,
I go, oh, maybe it's a three.
Oh, it's a sliding scale.
But when I first see him, I give him a two.
What about Gilbert and George?
I think Gilbert's a seven.
I'll take that.
Oh, wow.
Thank you so much.
I think EJ's a seven.
What?
Oh, I'm scared what you're going to give me now.
I mean, you're going get like probably a four.
No, George is actually like...
So you put Alex in a two.
That's two points above Alex.
George...
That's two points above Alex!
But then you're gonna give me a three with my personality after having him like...
Oh, with the personality?
Oh my God, you're doing things down there.
Can you rate me pre-paralysis, pre-paralysis and post-paralysis?
No, I think you're probably an 8.5, 9. Oh, oh my God. pre-paralysis, pre-paralysis, and post-paralysis.
No, I think you're probably an 8.5, nine.
Oh my God, pre-paralysis.
So, what do I fall in?
What?
What do I fall in then?
Well, can we?
Be honest.
I'm doing pretty good for myself.
I'm doing pretty good for myself.
Three, you know what I mean?
I mean, you do the math.
I mean, what do you think you fall in?
Six.
And then break down why you
believe that? I'm a six. You're a ten. No no I'm a six I want to have a cigarette
before they get here. Hi Kalida. Hi, when did you cut your hair? A couple like three weeks ago I think.
Thank you by the way I've been watching all of the episodes. You crush it. I saw the one with Ben Schwartz.
When you were a fangirling. So cute.
Yeah, he was cool. I liked him.
Do you think Bobby goes too hard on Jaime as an observer from the outside?
Yeah. But also, if you love it, that's his, honestly, his ultimate love language is the harder he roasts you the more he loves you
Because he feels as though he can be his ugliest
Yeah self with you which means he feels safe around you if he's like nice to you
He probably doesn't like you very much if he has to like sit up straight or if he has to like behave in a
Corporate way. He probably doesn't like you and he'll never be close to you
So I it's like very gaslighty of me to say this but like I guess like take the abuse yeah I he goes
okay you know I mean no but he does help me sometimes some jokes and stuff so off
camera though is he like kind to you he's gonna you want to see my impression
of him yeah yeah yeah okay I'm gonna go sit over there real quick. Yeah, go ahead. Oh my God. The whole, the whole prepper.
Excuse me, can you not use our merch as a tissue paper?
My left-
That's a premium product, man.
My paralyzed left nostril is leaky.
I already have it before it comes.
Okay, go ahead, show me.
Oh.
Oh, wait, that is it.
That's part of it. Oh, it's starting.
Great, great start.
What's up?
What's up, Gilbert, little fucking raccoon.
You've never called me that, but okay, I just woke up
Just woke up anyways
Usually you wait for them to like
Keep going you going see the going. See the thing is that, the thing is that.
The thing is is that.
The thing is that that.
You've mutated it to something else.
Okay.
Get out of my seat man.
He had an impression of you.
Oh really?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I'd like to hear it actually.
What is it?
I'd like to hear it actually.
What is it?
I'd like to hear your impression.
I'll have to be over there.
No, you have to do it from there.
Pretend you're playing a piano.
Oh, you missed it.
You missed it. You missed the beginning.
I just woke up.
Give me a second. Give me a second.
I just woke up, give me a second, give me a second.
I just woke up in the middle of the day
and now I'm gonna get a burger to fill my stomach.
Gilbert, your hat is dumb.
Hymen, you're a sneaky little Mexican
Little
Never said that word I've never said that word my life Jaime you little bean eater
Kalina Cross I Yes, I said that. Carolina, cross-eyed. That's a good song.
Don't ever call her cross-eyed again.
But you call me Bean.
You call me Bean.
You call me Bean.
You call me Bean. You call me Bean. You call me Bean.
You call me Bean.
You call me Bean.
I said Bobby this thing yesterday.
What?
You call me Bean.
You call me Bean.
You call me Bean.
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
The most amount of noise and
The most amount of noise and
Yeah, uh
Out of the way!
Out of practice.
Please forgive me, I'm out of practice. I don't even know how to do it.
We call me Bean
We call me Bean
But not her but not her, definitely not her
But you're definitely a bean, a big fat sloppy bean
I clean up after myself, thank God. Now. Now you do. Now you do. To say you're pussy. You It's pretty good.
Where's everybody?
We're here.
Wait, I gotta go outside.
I gotta greet them.
I gotta greet them.
Okay.
Okay.
You wanna hear a funny story?
Are you nervous?
Yeah, I've never been no more nervous.
But why are you nervous? Why? Just get on the mic and explain. They're not here yet.
Don't text me when they get here. Yeah.
Well, because I haven't hung out with Debra really since Mad TV. She seems awesome.
She is awesome, but I'm nervous about her because I think she's a very big star.
Also, you have to understand that when I was on that show,
when I was, these are the ones that were on already.
Later in the show when I was on Mad,
I felt more comfortable when Ike and all those guys came in,
but it's like, this was more like I was just so scared
and starstruck and just shy and very anxious.
So that's why, you know what I mean? I mean, we've already had Mo and Ariazn, but I don't know. and like just shy and very anxious.
So that's why, you know what I mean? I mean, we've already had Mo and Ariazn.
But I don't know-
You still see him as like your superior?
A little bit, yeah.
A little bit.
What's up, winners?
My name is Jeremy Elder.
This is Hunter Sailing.
And I'm Corey Peter Lane.
You are listening to the Business Casual Podcast.
It's the Business Casual Show.
That's how we decided the name.
That's a new idea that I have.
Every week, each one of us will bring a brand new segment
to the podcast, whether that be a game, whether that be trivia,
a character, a deep dive, or whatever else we
want to bring to the table.
And it's fun.
We promise it's fun.
Did somebody say liberal Joe Rogan?
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You can listen to the Business Casual Show on Spotify, Apple
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Tariffs have been increased for white men with podcasting equipment, and we are willing to pay.
We are releasing this show every Monday, produced by ATC All Things Comedy.