TigerBelly - Tim Dillon & "I’m a flake, I’m a liar”

Episode Date: April 16, 2025

Tim Dillon finally makes it to the studio and makes a reservation at the top-rated restaurant Shin Chon Son. We chat Crazy Rich Asians, Yogurtland, first kiss, incel movies, alien feet, spicy chili wonton soup, Joker 2.  PrizePicks: Download the app today and use code BELLY to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup!”  Visit www.bluechew.com for more details and important safety information, and we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. Sign up for your one-dollar-per-month trial and start selling today at www.shopify.com/tigerbelly 

You go to my Baca'i Chukalakal the fucka deo looka You're good Howe Miles Muscle Get out of my seat, man! How? You fat Mexican fuck

Hey, say hello to our guest. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, God. Here's a woman. I'm a woman. We don't have a woman today. She hasn't been on it for like six months. Oh, I don't know. It's my favorite show I should have known.

I should have noticed that. Yeah, you should have. It's one of those. I didn't realize. I didn't get a lot of sleep. Nice to meet you. Who are you? Good, Tim.

What? His name is Tim. Yes. Thank you. What's going on? Yeah, no words. I thought his name was Tim as well. That's very interesting.

I've never met a Mexican name Tim. Have you? Not yet, but I'm for it. Maybe when we have a baby, Tim. I'd love to. You would adopt a baby? with me? I don't believe in adoption. Oh, steal.

Would you steal a baby with me? Yes. Okay, sure. Yeah. So, I don't know, let's start over. Can I have more volume? Okay. Dear, Dylan's here. Fourth time's a charm. Thank you for having me.

I'm sorry I cancel. seven other time. Tim Dillon, give him a round of a pop. What a wonderful, wonderful. Yeah, I hate fruit flies. So we have Tim Dillon.

He is probably one of my favorite comics right now. I don't know why. I appreciate that. It's very nice of you. And you've said that other places and I always appreciate it when you say. Okay, anyway. You know, we've had our problems.

Our differences. We have. Many years. Yeah, yeah. I don't want to dig back. history back you know no yeah yeah no but they were very silly it was silly what it was very silly what do you think it was it was it was it was it what was it what do you think it was it was we were what what do you think it was we were like mad what was it i remember i remember what it is what was it

no you remember because you fucked up you remember i i i was supposed to do something and i didn't do it yes that's that's your whole life though but How is that? But Bobby, that's also a little bit of your life now. Reversal. What do you mean? A little bit. Tell me.

You also don't do you think sometimes. Yeah, who do you think is more flaky? We're all... Oh. We also do think... Well, sometimes you also... We'll forget a thing. Right?

No, I'll do things. I won't do things because you won't do them. Oh. So I'll give you an example. Yeah. I'll give you an... Right? R-FK.

Yes. Right? I do like that. Right. Even, by the way, even when we were mad at each other, we were still back channeling on what we should and shouldn't do. It was like when Russia and the U.S. were about to nuke each other.

They were still back channel negotiations to try to prevent that. So even when maybe we weren't happy with each other, we're still like we're not going to get on a boat with RFK and Cheryl. Like the Cuban missile crisis. Yes. There was back channeling going on. We said we're not going to get on a boat with Adriana from the Sopranos and talk about vaccines for two hours.

in Santa Monica. But one incident has nothing to do with the other, that's my problem though. Yeah, but I'm trying to remember what it was,

I was in New York. Right? Yeah. Okay, can I tell you what it is? Yes. All right. So it was for our 300th?

Yes. 400th. 400. Yes. So, you know, we're coming up on our 500th, right? It's a big celebratory thing.

Yes. You know what I mean? It's like when Koreans turned 60. It's a huge thing. It's a big deal. Yeah, yeah. We had a choir.

Did we have an El Marachi band? No, that was bad friends. We had a choir here. We had a choir here that came in. We had a whole thing said we had balloons. I feel very bad. No, don't. Because I'm going to tell you what we had.

And it was a big, we were so excited to have you. And then, like, maybe 20 minutes before the show started, I called you and you go, I'm in the Hamptons. That's a great answer. In my mind,

when I sleep at night, I hear that sometimes. I'm in the Hamptons. I'm in the Hamptons. I'm in the Hamptons. I felt really bad because I was eating a lobster roll. And it made it worse.

I felt bad. Yeah. And I felt bad, but I've apologizing. You have, but I'm just saying, and I will never discuss it again, right? Yes. But you doubled down on your thing. Yes.

You know what? Because I think what happens is you get defensive. I got defensive. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what? You're here now. I'm here now because I believe in a path forward for the country.

Oh, you do. Wow. Because you're a big proponent of tariffs. I believe in tariffs on a level that no one does. I know. So much tariffs on things. I believe in emotional tariffs. Oh, you do.

Where you levy and you make someone pay to be who they are. Oh, I don't know what that means. I don't know what that means. but I like it. But I'm a tariff. I mean, you know. Well, if I get a mail order bride from China, there should be a tariff on that.

There's got to be a tariff. How much money do you think? We got to put, we got to slap 30%. On my Asian wife, Chinese wife. On the mail order. He has no titties. 20%. All right.

We can go down. Flat ass. Flat ass. 15%. Okay. Too flat of a phase like this. Oh, God. Bobby, it's getting to a point

where we don't even, I don't think it's worth it. The tariff? That's not worth it. I think the person. Yeah, yeah. Another thing is I've noticed about you is, if I may. Yes, I am, you may.

Okay. Excuse me? You're gonna talk about his weight? I thought that he was going to bring it out my bad, Tim. I never said that we're going to bring that? Oh, that's insane. What you just, is this? I thought it was, I thought the other one was good.

I was excited. I have no idea who they're saying. I'm curious a nice guy. I thought it was the other, the other. I know. I know. The other one with the... Filipino, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I thought it was her. I had a whole Asian stuff. I know, I know. I thought it was... I thought that's what this one was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's not. It's a different one.

Okay, sorry. And it's the... But it's got me excited. I'm also offended by that question. No, I'm excited. Jaime. And fuck off. Is Jaime is your name?

Like, Jaime? Like a derogatory name for a Jewish person? No. That's the craziest. I know. Jaime. That's what we call Jewish people. where I'm from.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I apologize for him. Go ahead. What was... Oh, so? Oh, go ahead. No, I apologize.

It's Jamie, but then... Okay, anyway. Okay. We don't do Hispanic anymore. Yeah, we don't do Hispanic anymore. The election happened. The election. I apologize.

I... It's okay. I... C.E. Oh, I was like... Just memorize that. I C-E. And that's your future

if you don't fucking shut the fuck up. I see E. Yeah, yeah. What does that spell? Huh? I see dead people. Exactly. So we got one of those ones that, like, you know, tried to cross the fence.

He climbed too high. He fell in his head on the rock. That's okay. It's okay. And he was like, where am I? It's a good act. This is going to be tough to deport. Because when ICE is asking him questions, he's going to throw them in different directions.

Yeah, yeah. Where they have no idea what's going on. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I don't think Mexico would want you back. I'm not from Mexico. I'm from Texas. Okay. Anyway, very good. So we buried that hatch. Yeah. Thank God. So we buried the 300. All right. Well, that's good. But then we've had some recent, some joyous experiences.

We've had lovely times. Yeah. One being a full-blown nightmare for me, and I'd like to bring it up if I'm... You're so famous. It's unreal. That's really what it comes down to. That's not what I was going to say. Okay. but that is true. I was shocked. I realized you were known,

but to the level was crazy. Do you think I was an open mic? What the fuck? You know what's offensive about you, Tim? I never thought about you, Tim, right? Yes. You're shocked that people know who I am? Are you shocked that people know who the fuck you are?

I'm shocked that anyone knows anyone. But it was so many young people and it was the amount of people and the age range and the different cultures was amazing. It's actually impressive. The blacks? Well, that was a little,

startling. Yeah, yeah. But no, but it was a lot of people that I was like, wow, that's awesome. Well, I'm, you know, I don't know much about anything, right? So my comedy level is very kind of young.

And I think that's the reason it is, but the thing is everybody was so happy to see it. But you took me to a rapper. Yeah, we went to a rapper's party. So this rapper is going to fly in on a helicopter. Birthday party. It was me, Tim. Marcella. Marcelo Hernandez.

And Annie. And Annie. And Annie. and we're in your Rolls Royce. Oh, wow. We drive to this thing in Wilshire. Yeah. This building, you know what the building

looked like? You know, remember in Die Hard? Yeah. The first one, you know what I mean? Kind of like that. Yeah. We're going up. It's a white rapper.

That old rappers now are white. Yes. They're the best kind, no. Well, I don't know. Crazy sentence, but okay. Yeah, you're right. You're right. You're right.

Yeah, maybe take that out. This one, this one's really good. good. He's very good. He was really talented. What a great performer. Net spend. Net spend. Net. Net Netanyahu. He went to go see BB NetMeyaz. He threw a rap music. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was good. And he threw his little head thing into the car. It was great. What do you call those? What do you call those? Yamakas? Yeah, yeah, Yamaka. That's another thing. Are you, I use you? I'm not. You're at the grove. Yeah. And you want to act you. What do you do? What do you do? you know. I'll tell you what I do. What do you do? What? I throw a penny down and they grab it really quickly. That's good. I put on, I get a smoothie and I put on scenes from Gaza and I laugh. And people go, wow, that's, are you doing? I go, I have. And they go, interesting. I go, I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So just subtle ways. Just settled. Settle way. Very good. Kind of get in there. Very good. What are you, though? Irish, German.

It's just kind of white. Oh, you're just a white guy. Just white. And your family's white, apparently. I think. Yeah. No, they're Irish. Grandfather came over from Ireland.

Legit Irish. Wow. And then how many, because I don't know anything about, you're like, we hang out sometimes. I don't know anything about your, what? No, I'm just, I'm just being adjusted. Please not do that. I'm trying to listen.

Okay. To his Ireland. Okay. You know where island is? Yeah. Where? Cross the sea. Exactly.

God's right. You're genius. Anyway, And that's where you tell them You're from if they give you a problem From Ireland Across the sea Do your best Irish accent

I got here first And then I can repeat it Can you do one? It's hard at you can do it Yeah, yeah, can anyone do it? I'm after me lucky charms Go ahead I do

Conna McGregor Yeah Connem Ongar That's how you pussy I got I like Stop that Just lick it

No Seriously, stop. No, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. And, you know, they like it, you know. But anyway, so I don't even think about your background. You grew up in New York? Yeah.

Yeah. I actually grew up, this is funny. I actually grew up in Malaysia. No, seriously. You grew up in Kuala Lumpur. Are you being real? That's serious. That's why, yeah, Malaysia.

In Kuala Lumpur. You know Kuala, Lumpur. I grew up there, and I spent a lot of my formative years at a prep school in Kuala Lumpur. Put hockey there. Because my parents were working for a multinational import export company. Wow. So I lived in Kuala Lumpur. You grew up with a little

wealth. We were incredibly wealthy. And I lived in Kuala Lumpur for my whole life. You did? Like went to high school and everything. Everything until last year. How'd you learn everything? I'm good like that. You absorb.

Information. I'm very. So you're serious to me. If I find out you're lying. Bobby. You grew up in Guatemala Wait, say it one more time? I don't know what it's about Guatemala. Of course I'm lying.

Of course I didn't grow up in koala, La Mawar. Maybe on a military base. I don't know. You learned English on the military. No, I grew up in Long Island. All right, all right! God, damn, dude. God, you're from Guatemala,

all right? So listen. Yeah. You grew up Long Island. Is that near Malaysia? No, it's here in Manhattan. All right, Manhattan, yeah. Okay.

And how many kids were in the family? One. You're the only kid. That's it, it's just me. And then your parents are still together? No, my mother has died. I'm sorry. And I killed her.

Oh, very good. And it's an open investigation, but... When did she die? I know you don't like this question. No, I don't mind this question. But I'm just trying to... It's such an exact... Like, I'm going to get it wrong

and then people are going to go, how can you not remember? And I'm going to go, well, it wasn't. That's your family? Tariffs. Yeah. Amazing. It's kind of cute.

It's such a cute. Your mom's pretty. She was pretty, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, and they seem... That's the communion in the Catholic thing. You get the communion. Yeah.

And that was... You were a problem, child. You look like Damian from fucking Omen. I like to, I like a little chaos. Yeah. Even as a kid, you were like a rambunctious. It was fun to have fun. Yeah.

It was fun to smoke cigs and do drugs. I was doing blow at like 13 and stuff. Damn. Yeah. I did math at 12. You did math at 12. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, and what is that about us? Something's wrong. Is that what it is? Something's not. I've always said that going on. That's nothing wrong with me. No, anyone doing math at 12 or below at 13? That's not the ideal.

But something, I know it's not the ideal, but did something happen before to trigger it? Because I know my thing. I was just a while. I was an actor. I was a little kid. I was acting like six years old. And I was like, this crazy kid. But I was never like molested or I was never abused or beaten up.

or like burning with cigarettes. I didn't have to do the blow. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I did. And were your parents concerned? They, it wasn't great. Yeah. But they didn't know. They didn't know I was doing that. They were just like, oh, we'd maybe smoking weed.

That's bad. They hated that. But I was a bad kid. And your dad's still around. He's still around. I mean, can I be honest? Can I ask you an honest question? Is he proud of you? I think so.

Yeah. I mean, you're killing it. Yeah, I think he's, I'm happy about it. I think it's a weird world, meaning like, you know, I think it's a, and it's an odd thing to do for living. What we do?

Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. It's hard for people to understand. I think he's very proud, it's going well, but I think it's weird for anyone to understand it. Yeah. Like if I was a regular person with a regular job and had two kids and lived a regular life,

maybe they would like that more. Maybe, yeah. Right? I don't know. Yeah. Because my mom doesn't have any grandkids. Right. Yeah, she asked questions like,

Are you gay? Right. You go, no. Yeah. My father says that in the same voice. He pulls up in an Asian voice. Are you gay? Really?

It's the craziest. I don't know why he does it. I won't make that choice. He won't stop. You think the groundlings or something? He wants to find out as a gay, as an Asian woman. Wow. Wow.

Yeah. Go ahead. So I think they like don't know. I think they're proud, but they don't, you know, it's a weird thing. Yeah. I mean, as a parent, if I had a kid, it was like, I want to do stand up. Yeah.

I would be worried because you can see that the first five years being so brutal. Yeah. Was it brutal for you? It was hard. I didn't have any money. It was fun. It's fun, yeah.

It's a lot of fun. You get addicted to it. It's fun. But it's like, it's dopamine hits. It's another drug. Yeah, it's a big drug. And I don't think they care that it would be hard. I think they were just kind of like,

they were like, okay. Yeah. Good for you. I hear us how I know we're similar because a couple of weeks ago, on a Monday, you called the club and goes, do you have any spots for me? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And I do the same thing. Yeah. Is there anything I can do? Yeah. I can't be in here. Sometimes it's depressing in Los Angeles because people are upset and their houses are all burned down.

And it's too much. It's too much. I don't know. Picks now Price picks, everybody. I love it. Springtime is here and baseball season

is officially underway. Good Dodgers. Don't miss your chance to add your favorite players from the diamond in your prize picks lineup. Whether it's strikeouts, RBI, or first inning runs,

take your pick of more or less of your shot to win up to a thousand times your cash today. My God, Price Picks is the best way to get action on sports in more than 30 states, including California. Taxis, man. And George, man. What?

Yeah, yeah. The app is really easy to use, man. To create a lineup, all you have to do is pick more or less on a few player stats for your own shot to win up to a thousand times your money. On Price Picks, you can mix and match player projections from different sports, combine your favorite baseball players with players from basketball, hockey, e-sports, and much more. The second half of basketball season is here and push the playoffs as heating up on prize picks. The best place to cash in on your favorite sports. Hey Bobby, you think Shohei Otani will get more than one

home run this week? Yeah, I think he's the Japanese love him. How about Juan Soto for more than one hit? The Jammany's don't like him as much, but the Mexicans do, and I love it. All right, cook up hot takes with your friends and win real money this basketball season when you and your crew run your game on prize picks. Download the app today and use code belly to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5 lineup. Whoa. Download the app today and use code belly to get $50 instantly after you play your first $5

lineup. Price picks, run your game. Blue Chew now for your penis. Blue Chew. Yes. Having better sex with Blue Chew, I'm 53 years old. And I have to be honest. Sometimes my guy's asleep in a hibernation like Bears do during the winter.

How you wake them? up though. Blue chew. You chew that stuff? He goes, who? Springtime? He does that. Bluechew is the original brand offering chewable tablets. These erection enhancing tablets help men achieve stronger, harder, and longer

lasting bears for sexual activities. Blue chew is putting its money where its mouth is and offer you a month free. The process is simple. Sign up to bluechoo.com, consult with one of their licensed medical providers, and once you're approved, you'll receive your prescription within days. Bluetooth tablets are made in the USA! Prepared and shipped directly to your door.

You can take them any time day or night so you can plan ahead or be ready whenever an opportunity arises. The best part is all done online. That means no visits to the doctor's office, no awkward conversations, and no waiting in the line at the pharmacy. Hey, Bobby, does it work? It works 100% every time, every day. Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at bluechew.com.

We've got a special deal for our listeners. Try your first month of Bluetooth free. Visit bluechoo.com for more details and important safety information. We thank Bluechoo for sponsoring the podcast. It's too much. I know. And I get angry. Were you scared that your houses, no?

No. No. The house is okay, right? I mean, listen. Yeah. So what if it didn't burn down? What does that mean? I'm unaffected.

I'm affected as affected as someone who's home burned down. Oh, you really aren't. Oh, tell me some of the feelings you're going through, you fuckface. Because the thing is, I don't like this idea that just because someone's house burned down, they're more deserving of sympathy than I am. That's crazy. It is crazy. We're part of a human fucking community.

We're part of a human community. And when I went to the montage on Laguna Beach and I said, I'd like an ice cream Sunday. And she said, oh, we don't make them after 11th. and I said, oh, I'm sorry, my house burned down. And they brought an ice cream Sunday, and then I ate it in the lobby, and I pretended to be on the phone with an insurance person. And my friend goes, why are you saying all this stuff

about insurance to me? And I said, just do this for a minute. Oh, for the ice cream lady? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then she goes, and I said, and here's some money, and she goes, you know what, it's on the house. I said, yeah. Yeah. It's like when I, you know, like when tragedy happens with Asians,

like when Virginia Tech happened? You're affected. Yeah, I was affected by Virginia. And also. since it was a Korean guy for a year I was Chinese. That's right. You can do that.

I knew a guy. I was roommates with a guy who's Russian. Then Ukraine war happened now he's Ukrainian. He just decided. Decide. You can decide. Yeah, yeah. I can decide.

Yeah, it's my choice. So that's what I called the club. I was really depressed because everyone here's got to get their act together. What do you mean? With this city. I know, I know. People have to be happy.

It is glum. It's gloomy. It's gloomy. It's gloomy. Oh, and it's all day, everyone's going, oh, I have no job. My house has burned down. I can't work. Yeah.

There was a home invasion that tied my wife up. Right, right. And I'm like, hey, man, not what this is about. That's not what any of this is about. I don't want to hear any of this. Yeah, yeah. Come to me with positive, happy things. Yeah.

You know? Like, let me be a neighbor. Hey, Tim. Yeah. I know my wife died. But I found a butterfly. No, this is what L.A. is now. L.A. goes like, L.A. used to be this.

L.A. used to be like, how are you? You're doing good? I'm doing good. I'm doing so good. I don't even want to talk about it. I hear you're doing good. You're like, I'm doing actually great. You're like, I'm doing great. Here's what L.A. is now.

How do you think that girl from Buffy died? Why did her liver fail? Wait, who was that? And I go, I don't know why her liver. And they told her her liver was going to fail before. Wow. Wow. And then I go, hey, man.

Yeah. Not what do I want. Yeah, exactly. So I think we just got to get happier. Oh, so you know what I don't like either? You're driving by the Viper room with some friend from out of town. Sure. And they go, they go, is that where River Phoenix died?

I know. It happened the other day to me. So long ago. It happened the other day. And then you got to pull over and take a photo with the guy. You know what I mean? Exactly where you're in, you know what I mean? Yeah.

And I love, what a great talent. and I'm so sorry, Waukeen. Go ahead. I did a film with Wachian. Oh, you? Oh, yeah, a joke or two. Your explanation of that fucking scene that day is so fucking.

Well, yeah, and, you know, listen, I'm... It's so funny. I'm grateful for the opportunity. Were you nervous? It was so nerve-wracking because he's, like, the best actor of our time. Of all time, right? One of them. One of them, yeah. And then I'm not.

You know, I mean. I'm not terrible, but I'm really not in that. We're good for comics. I'm not in the conversation. I'm never in the mix. I'm never in the mix. No, it's like Daniel Day Lewis, him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not me. Yeah, yeah. And you're better than Snow White.

I'm better than her, yeah. I'm absolutely. Look how good I am. Okay, push pause. It's actually, by the way, I actually want you to review this and tell me if I'm good. You've done more acting to me. Don't lie to me. Tell me if I'm good. Okay. We can't hear. I told you before. Okay.

I've seen enough. You only say it was mine. I've seen enough. What's your review? Push pause. Pretty good. It's not bad. Yeah, yeah.

Natural. I mean, and by the way, Mark Meron would have done better. It only took. Let me just give me the list of. I wish he did this. Yeah, I wish.

Mark Merrin and Santina would have done better. By the way, I wish they both did the movie. Yeah, Fortune themes are way better. She would have been too goofy. Oh, you think so? Yeah, but not. I don't think she would have any. Dude, you also look.

completely different. They made me look different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's what acting is. That's exactly. Is that what acting is? Oh, my God. They never taught me that in class.

Look at how good I'm doing right now. That's him. Now look, how scared I look. Look, I bite my lip because I'm scared. Oh, wow. That's amazing. That's a good choice. Yeah.

And it only took 30 or 40 takes to get that. Yeah. What was that like? Because I'm, in my mind, if I'm like, you know, you know, because we're, I come from the open. like system.

ghetto, ghetto. So did I. No, there's no glitz to it. Yeah, yeah. And then finally one day they asked you to do something and you show up. And it's a, because I've been on movies this big before where it's, it's

a big to do. There's a huge crew. It's a huge deal. It's a huge deal. You have a guy just, you know what I mean? This way, this way. You know what? Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's a whole thing. It's a whole fucking thing. And it's like and you're nervous. Yeah, so nervous. I was so, I called my agent going, I shouldn't be here. I know, me too. I

Yeah, I do. And he's like, everyone calls and says that. When I was in The Dictator, I told my handle, I go, I don't think I can do this. Yeah, I was like, I don't know if I'm good for this. Right, right. And then I did it, ended up being fine. It was fine, yeah. You know, but it is nerve-wracking.

Because these guys, like, Joaquin's brilliant. He is. Brendan Gleason's brilliant. Oh, my God, amazing. You're in a scene with them. And you're in a scene with these two guys. And this is like the first scene I've done in any movie. Well, except for your head getting chopped off.

But that was after this. Oh. This came out later. because they edited it for two years. Oh, so that was your first movie. It was the first scene I've ever done. Oh, my God, I'm editing it. And it's Joaquin Phoenix and Brennan Glees.

I've never done a scene at all. And that's the first one I do. Yeah. And you know, I mean, I carried it a little. I think that's seen, yes. I think that part of it is me carrying it. Yeah. And putting them on my back and walking around.

I wouldn't go that far, but very good. Have you see Gaga on that? It's a big mess. She made a big mass I know she did She did I don't like this And then you

During this shooting Do you think it was gonna be that bad though Or not? We all thought Oh You really thought We all knew No way

You know I thought Borderlands were gonna be a hit Yeah I think it was gonna be a great Did you really? No I don't But here's why Here's why I don't believe

I almost got that role I know you did You guys audition for that I tried really hard No no no It's not that When I was We audition

always for the same role and he gets it. No, you know, the bus driver. The Russian guy, yeah. So when I was in Budapest and I met Eli, the first thing he came out, I was like, Tim almost got this movie. I was like, oh, fuck. He read with you.

I did it? Yeah, yeah. And then they said, they said, we went with someone else and I went, okay, thank you. And then. He went with his childhood's friend. He grew up with him.

But here's the other thing. It is funny because that movie, ate it. Borderlands didn't do good. Yeah, it did it. So it would be funny if I was in Joker. I think God saved you. Right? Do you think he saved you? I think it was good to not be in two

studio bombs. Massive studio bombs? Yeah, yeah. Massive loss of income. Yeah. For people. I mean, I've never been in anything that's like, I've guessed on things that were pretty good, but it's like, I've never been in like a movie where it was a hit or whatever. It's so hard.

Here's what I thought. We were in Joker and we're sitting there and the scene, the set's amazing. I got 10%. What did the Joker again? What do you think Joker too, guys? Let's see if you beat it? 7%.

17%. Tim wins, 31%. Oh. Those people are crazy. Lock them up. Lock those people. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're sitting on set.

They built the Arkham Asylum. It's fucking amazing. Amazing. And we're sitting there making it rain. They're doing all this crazy stuff. Yeah. And then we hear. we hear

Joaquin go for once in my life I have someone who needs me someone who needs me and I remember that's it and I just look at the guy next to me and we went oh no wow I would have done the same

because immediately we're like this is not at all what anybody who was a fan of that first movie wanted to see it's an odd choice it's an odd choice Yeah, and this is, I mean, usually I don't like executives getting involved, but somebody, I really don't. I think they didn't like the fan base of the first movie.

They thought it attracted, like, Incells or whatever, politically volatile people. And they said, maybe if in the next movie we make it like a gay showtunes musical, that will make people on that. Well, Incells deserve movies as well. Well, for sure. Crazy Rich Asians for Asians? That's a great movie.

Right? Dead presidents for black people? Bro, that's one of my favorite movies. Crazy Rich Asians. Yeah, they wouldn't even see me for the movie. Fucking awesome. I'm sorry about that. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of things that they didn't want to see me in.

But it is a good story. Yeah. Of rich people in Asia. I've never saw it. Okay, tell me. Because I focus. Explain the movie to me because I've never seen it. Here's what happens.

A hot guy. I'm a studio except. You're the writer. Ready? Well, I got to do the intro. Okay. Who's that? What?

I don't know he, he's an intern. I'm Chinese. Yes. By the way, I'm Chinese. Okay. He interned. I don't know him. Okay.

Excuse me, Mr. Dion. Yes. I would like to hear about your movie. It's a bow. Hold on a second, right? Where's your bow? My bow is in, oh, oh, my back. I thought he meant my bow bun and I was going to say, I hate my bow bun.

You're in Beijing right now. Yes, yes. Yeah, yeah, so bow. Okay, thank you. and excuse me, Tocco, yes. Yeah, boba, milk tea from him. Me, I want a fried shrimp,

sweet and sour. Yes, I will have some of the shrimp as well. So white rice. White people like white rice. Okay, bye-bye. Okay, bye-bye. Okay, bye-bye. Bye-bye, Toto.

I don't want to hear and see you. No, no. He got a good movie script for you. You buy, okay? Oh, you pitch it to him for? What the fuck? I tell him a little bit. What in the Robbie?

You pitched it to me. You pitch it to me? in the Robbie? Oh, good. You buy, you buy it. I'll buy it if I like. No, you buy it. And then you buy it.

How about you? You buy milk tea. You buy fucking shrimp. Anyway, get the fuck out of you. Go ahead. Sorry. It's, it's, like, read. This reminds you of a, there's a Chinese restaurant in New York City where when a black person

comes in, they go, you pay now. It's very rich. Here we. Here we. Yeah. Crazy. Crazy. I say the way I say.

Reach. Crazy. Crazy. Crazy. Rich. Egypt. Asia. Okay, very good, very good. And it's about a man who needs a woman. A man who are real good looking.

Oh, I've been trying to all my heart. Not see you any good looking. No, they're almost white. That's what's good about it. Oh, let me put the note down. Both almost white. There's a tiny kiss of Asian. Oh, so is Keanu. He's like that.

He's almost white, almost a little kiss. It's a little zest. they use the tongue And then O'Long Yes They use the tongue And they use the tongue

The tongues Oh to Oh tong Oh tong And the tongue And the tong Yeah yeah Okay

I like this guy Yes He see he could be Cuban Oh that's right He could be Cuban And that's good But he's actually Asian At first

I thought that guy was the kid Remember the kid From the 90s We were using the tub Yes Yes Elon was his name? Elon Musk

Yeah Elon Musk Hey, don't break character You know, what? Anyway, tell me that story. I don't care about casting later. He's rich. Oh, he reads.

He's really rich. And the girl. He all crazy too, huh? No, no, no, no. He's not crazy. Oh, he's no crazy. He's not crazy. He's not crazy.

Yes, he's rich. Yeah. But no Asian. And the, the, the, the, the, he goes on a date with a woman who's poor. But not, but Asian poor, meaning. A kind of poor. Very well educated. Okay.

And she's doing, well, no, no, not that. We're not going to make movies with those. Oh, yeah, that's, look at my sign on the wall. Yeah. No Filipino allow. Okay, go ahead. Hey, man. Oh, I'm sorry, this, you know my, my wife?

You know my wife? Yeah. What the fuck, man? What the fuck? Coco? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, dude, you know, you put her in a basket? Yeah.

You spin, spin? Yeah. You get hard. Yeah. I wine? He's very good at that. That's good. Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, Coco, go call. go back in the cave. Now look at her. Oh my Lord. Now listen to me, that is an Asian person. 100% Asian. I can't believe it either. The AI?

Oh, no. She's a white woman who's tired. Oh. Oh, a red eye fright. That's how Asian she's. Or maybe she looked at the eclipse or son or something. She burned her eyes with a son. Now here we started to get married.

What the fuck is Adis? Well, this is funny. Comedy. Oh, that's a. Oh, I. Comedy funny. I guess. Now we get crazy.

This is crazy. Oh, he gets crazy. Look at him. Now he's crazy. He's crazy. He's crazy. And then what do we got here now? Well, to the left, you have

Funny. Funny? Funny on the back. Yeah, yeah. Black. What? No, no. Aquafia black.

Yeah, yeah. Little black. Yeah, black. And bach-bock-bock. And then hot, hot. Hot. Hot. Accomplished.

Accomplished. Cuban. Cuban. Very good. Sold. $200 million. No. All right.

Yeah. $4,300. Very good. Thank you so much. All right. Oh, you also another script joker too. We're doing. Okay, we're too late.

We too late. Very nice. So that's what's about. It's a rich Asian guy meets a poor Asian lady. You've never seen it? I refuse. He refuses. It's actually a really good movie because they have a beautiful home and it's fun and it's good.

Are you being real with me, dude? I'm dead serious. It's actually not a bad movie. So then is it better than my fat Greek wedding? Here's why it's not. Not when I'm drinking. Okay, so tell me why it's not. Here's why it's not.

The fat Greek wedding is just a big, disgusting... There's only one fat lady, right in it? It doesn't matter. Okay, okay. They're heinous people. The furry and extreme. Food's good. Food's good? You love food.

The food's good, but the Asian food's good too. That's true. Crazy rich Asians is good because old Asian ladies will get very serious in the middle of it, and they'll pull someone to them and go, in my country, we have a tradition. Right. And then they make a dumpling very quietly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know? There's something intense about that. Right. And beautiful. But my Big Fat Creek wedding might be funnier because there's not, there's no, And these Greek ladies are loud when they make Popava. They're loud and they're silly.

But the Asians are kind of very serious about it. And they're like, we have a tradition. And they play Marjan. Right. Or they go. And they play more.

I may watch you when I get home. Per Habo. They're so good. How do we attack poor Habo? Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so you think Greek wedding's not as good then? No, I think it's better

as a comedy. I remember because I've seen it a couple times. I remember back in the day I liked it, the Greek wedding. Yeah, yeah. It's fun. But what you need to get back to those? Are you a film guy? I love films.

Really? Bobby. Like what? Like what do I think? Like if I was like from an alien, I'm an alien from a different planet. Oh, yeah. I come down. I go to the hand.

My favorite movie. And I, well, let me act it out. Okay. Yeah. That's me walking. Okay. Because I've been to your house. Yes.

Your old house Yeah Ooh that sounds like an alien outside And then I knock You open the door Oh my god, it's a marshmallow Asian? What?

You Asians still? Aliens talk like Asians too. Oh my God It's a gigantic marshmallow Like a ghostbusters in the first one And you would giggle because Asians would love that Oh yeah We would love that

We would love it Yeah, would love it Yeah yeah Tell me my friend Yes. You're still walking. Oh, I walk and play. Oh, that is.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, you're so big, I can't get through you. Yes. It's a scene from Pokemon. Yeah, and your head, this is your belly? Yes. Yeah, yeah. And then you ask about films.

Tell me about movies. The best movie. Top five movie of your time. All time. Pop five. Be real. Number one, Easter Sunday. Number two, Easter Sunday.

Number three, Easter Sunday. Number four, Easter. No, which I love. I love it. My godson is legitimately Filipino. I know. And I'm sorry for that joke earlier about the plaque and everything.

Well, it's actually wrong, because he's also Taiwanese and Chinese. Okay. Well, then throw that out first. Okay. Top five movies. The Bird Cage is one of the funniest movies. Great movie.

Great movie. One of the best screenplays ever written. Nichols in May, Lecdon. Amazing. Okay. Okay. Casino is one of the best movies. One of the best movies of all time.

Of all time. Maybe not the best. That's a Corsese movie. No, but I, of course. But I think that's a great movie. I would go bean streets, but okay, go ahead. Okay, that's fair. Okay.

We're not, you know, we're not Cisco Lambert. We should have a show like that. We absolutely. Oh, my God. We absolutely should. Number three? Number three, I would say, I'm going to go with Tommy Boy,

classic comedy. Yeah, yeah. As a classic comedy. Yeah, yeah. In that pantheon of comedies. And doing that Theo Vaughn movie with Dave. I mean, doing a scene with them. It's wild, right?

It's a wild thing. It's a wild thing. It's a dream almost. It's a dream. Because you don't feel like your, you know, like Joker 2 or Poorlands where you're nervous. Right. It felt more like we're at a club. You want to have fun.

Yeah, and you want to make mistakes. You can make mistakes. You want to do the right thing. Right. And they're like, just do whatever you want. I like that. So Tommy Boy 4. There's an Oliver Stone movie called Nixon, which you've never seen.

I love Nixon. You've seen it? Of course. I've seen it all of all of them. Really good. So, Andy Hopkins is amazing. I know. I know it was in it.

Wow. By the way, wow. Nixon. Interesting. Okay. By the way? Yeah. Thank you.

What? Were you joking with Nixon? No, no, no. I was shocked that you've seen it. I've never seen it. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, what, dude?

I lie. I'm a fucking liar, dude. My whole life is a lie. No, it's not. Yeah, it should come to no surprise. Oh, it's okay. I've never seen any of those movies said. That's not true.

Yeah, I've seen. Cascina. No, birdcage. And I would say that, I would say, in the rounding, and this is just off the top of my head, so people. Yeah, I hope it's from the top of your head. I did prepare. Okay. I would say, like, number five, I'm going to go with.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Shopify. Oh, my God. We have an online business. We have an online business. Yes, we sell merch. If we don't have Shopify, we have a, we have a business.

nothing, right? Nope. Nope. Shopify is a commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the entire world and 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S. from household names like Mattel and Jim Shark to brands just getting started. What if I can't design a website? Shopify's got you from the get-go with beautiful, ready-to-go templates to match your brand style. What if I need a hand? Get help with everyday tasks like enhancing product images and writing product descriptions. or generating discount codes. Well, Shopify's AI tools created for commerce. What if people haven't heard about my brand?

Shopify helps you find your customers with easy-to-run email and social media campaigns. Oh, and what if I get stuck? Shopify is always around to share advice with their award-winning 24-7 customer support. It does everything that we didn't know we needed to do. Yes, that's right. It's actually very easy. It's user-friendly, and without it, I feel like we'd have a pain trying to sell merch. turn those dreams into

and give them the best shot at success with Shopify sign up for your $1 per month trial and start selling today at Shopify.com slash tigerbelly. Go to shopify.com slash tiger belly. Shopify.com slash tiger belly. I'm going to go with

something like I would say something like what the fuck man? Just say it. It's going to take me an hour. Yeah, yeah. I would say, kind of like the dark night. Oh, wow.

Yeah, you know what? I'll tell you why about the dark night. Yeah. It's because there was so much anticipation for me when you saw the ads coming out. And you know the pre-photos of Heath Ledger. I thought it was brilliant. It was as good as you can get with that. Exactly.

Yeah. Amazing. To me, those are all the time. I had five good ones. Yeah. Very good. They're not bad. Yeah.

So there's, you don't like the Colin brothers? I do. I was just all at the top of my time. All right. Yeah. I mean, raising in Arizona would be one of, I mean, if you haven't seen that movie. Defending your life with Albert Brooks is one.

Oh my God. I love that movie. That scene is one of the best. Yes. Yeah. Merrill Street. Very, very good. Not Merrill Street.

Julie Haggerty. Doesn't matter. No, wait, wait. Oh, defending your life. You're right. I'm lost in America. I'm talking about it. You're right.

Defending your life is brilliant. See? I'm sorry, but I'm doing a trick on you. That was a trick? That was a trick. What a trick. Wow. You rabble-Rouser?

Wow. That's a trick. Wow, I'm dizzy now. Jesus Christ. You have no idea the fuck you're talking about. I was wrong. It was so stupid, dude.

I'm sorry, I was wrong. You know, like E.T. I'm sorry, there's Shindler's List. It's like, what? What? Shindler's this is a really good movie. It's really good. It's so good.

It's sad. It's sad. Isn't it sad? Well, yeah. It's like the saddest movie I've ever seen. Yeah, very sad. Yep. To some.

It's sad to me. Special coming out on Netflix, April 15th. It is the saddest, very sad. And it happened. I watched Schindler's list, and this might seem extreme, once every two to three days, just remind myself of man's inhumanity to man. Yeah.

Some people might say it's too much. I love Holocaust movies in general. I never get enough of them. Yeah, I can't. They make, what, 12 a year? And all of them I consume. I boast out my lube. Even the new ones where it's like, not even about the Holocaust is about someone having a shrimp cocktail near the Holocaust.

Oh, yeah. What was that movie? The family that lived near... The Holocaust. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What was that movie? I forget. What did they call it?

It just came out. It just came out. I thought 10 minutes of it was like, I can't watch this. Yeah, no. It's just the Holocaust is going on in the background and they're having, like, tea. Imagine having sex with your wife and you're hearing the background. Yeah. I forget what it's called.

Not the brutalist. You like that? No, no, no, it's called the... You like that baby? I was like... It's something else. I don't know. It's about the Holocaust, but not.

Yeah, it's about the Holocaust. I want more movies like that where the Holocaust is going on, but it's more about people having a lunch in a courtyard. Right. Or maybe like, I know a good story, maybe opening up a yogurt land.

Yeah. Like you and I are opening up a yogurt land near Auschwitz. Yes. Right? And we don't... We're finding about flavors. We're arguing about flavors.

Yeah, yeah. And you even say, me, you go, there's a Holocaust going on, we shouldn't fight like this. And then I go, you know what? Yeah. This is important too. And that's the pivotal moment.

How about this? You realize you're like, oh, what we're doing is important. Right. We can only control what we control. The here and now matters. Right. And it's a big pivotal moment in the movie. Right.

Or maybe you're like, you know, you can't do that flavor. And I'm like, well, I think, you know, multiple ball, bagel, yogurt. Right. And you're like, right now, the timing's wrong. I think the timing's wrong. And when it committed this flavor, dude. Right.

That's a good point. You know what I mean? We could have a little funny scene with that. We could have a funny scene. Yeah. Super funny scene. I think it's a great idea. I think it's a great idea.

Yeah, thank you. We'll write it up. It's not a bad. Yeah, yeah. Were there yogurt lands back then? I don't know. No. Or maybe a pink berry.

Whatever. Something. Yeah, something like that. The self-served frozen yogurt trend during the Holocaust isn't a parable. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah. It's not a bad idea.

Right. Because there is something about, like, it's whispered tones. Right. Because that's what all these movies are that are Holocaust adjacent. Yeah. So someone comes in and they're putting the graham cracker on their original tart flavor. And we go into them and we go, it's horrible, what's happening? And they go, yes, it is.

And then you put a cherry on it. Right. Because that's what it, it's just the Holocaust. Cherry can, like, divert your attention to happiness. I think. Of course. You're like, oh, my uncle,

my uncle's, and then put a cherry on it. Yeah. Wow, man. Yeah. Did you see Casablanca or whatever? Right. I don't know.

Casablanca was around back then. Yeah. Yeah. Two SS officers come in. Okay. Oh, you're going to Mozart. You're going to make it better. We're very,

this is the writer we're very, very conflicted. We're very conflicted. Yeah. About serving the milkert. And we have a fight in the back and you go, what they're doing,

you know what they're doing. want to come in here and have yogurt. And I go, everyone has the right to yogurt. Wow. Everyone. Wow. And you know what? You go, you know what?

You're right. I think you're right. You're right. Well, because in the movie, I would be Japanese. You're Japanese. So I'm kind of, you mean? You're Japanese. Well, the Japanese and Germany at that time were.

And then I'm pretending to not be Jewish, but I'm actually Jewish. That's great. It's actually amazing. Right. And then at the end, you pull, you rip my shirt and you see the Jewish star and you go, I knew it. Right. I knew it. And then what do I do? I can't sabotage it. We're friends. No, we're friends. We're also

lovers in it. We're lovers in it. Lover. You're like, I'm in love with you. And then you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, you go, um, you go to the camps, you fat bitch. This is the, wait, I say that. Well, you say that, but you have to deliver it in a very you got to, you got to nail it.

Wait, so you go to the camp, you fat bitch? Yes, but after doing a Japanese accent. Yeah. Well, then you You go to camp you, you fat bitch! Yes. And then I go, and then I go, and then I go, and then I go gladly. Credits.

And then I walk out powerfully. No, it turns black and white and you're red. Powerfully, I walk out. Or in your red dress or something, yeah, yeah. And I walk out. And I walk out. And you don't really know what happened, but you think I, you think,

that I voluntarily went to the death camp, which is like the most badass thing ever. Right. It's like badass. Can I put like a part two in there? You get to the camp. They can't fit you into the gas. What they do is they...

Right, so they go, we're gonna build a bigger one. You know what I mean? We're to keep them alive. I suck off all of the guards. Oh, right. The whole... Protein. The whole arm.

You survive with that. I suck off the entire army. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then Hitler brings me to Argentina because I was so good and I suck off in her. He lives in Argentina. Right, he lives in Argentina

for 20 years. Yeah, yeah. And I suck off and then literally I bump into you down the road this is years later. You're in a family vacation. You've gone straight now. Well, I'm hiding my gay.

Yes, you're hiding you're gay. You're in a bar and I'm in a bar. In Argentina. In Argentina. And you go, I can't believe you're alive. You fat bitch you went to the kid. And I go, I've been sucking off Hitler for 20 years.

And then it's over. Then it's credits. I think it'd be more, can we just do more of a like bridge over Madison County. Is that the word movie? River Kwai. No, not River Kwai. Madison County is just the boring one.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Is that the one? Bridges of Manich County? What is it? With Clintiest one? We should film. It's about unrequited love. So when you're, I'm with my Japanese family.

Yeah. Right? Yeah. And there's a bar with a swastika. Yes. Right. But then maybe a circle and a no, too, on it. Right.

Because you're trying to rebrand. Right. I'm like, hey, Hitler's trying to rebrand. Hitler's rebrand. Well, Hitler's rebrand is a great idea. Yeah. That's a third movie. Where is Ted Serena?

Let's sit him down. Let's sit him down. And can you imagine him at a table just, and it's just me and you talking? And he's just like this. He's like, and I go and then I go I've been sucking off Hitler for 20 fucking years and he goes

yeah okay okay okay but let me pitch my idea so you're in there it sounds just like another borderlands movie okay we'll cut that part out sometimes you're on now I'm listening to your movie yeah yeah sounds good idea

can I just pitch this idea dude and I walk by the window I see you sucking off Hitler Yes. Right? Yes. And I look inside, like with my hands on the window, right? A tear.

Single tear. Right. And a little shake with my hand. Yeah. Right. And then you're stalking, but then you look, right? We lock eyes. Yeah.

You have a tear. Right. But we never see each other again. Interesting. And in my tier, you just see the swastika light in the bar. Dude, you zoom in. You zoom in. Right.

And there's a reflection. In your tier of the Swazaga. That's right. But with a circle that says no, too. That's right, right, right. So Ted. Ted, what do you think? Ted.

He might let us do it. Yeah, you let us do it. All right, so let's go back to your family, I guess. That was the longest. I forgot how we got it. That was the longest. Oh, right. I forgot that was about my family.

It went 30 minutes. I forgot that question was, you have a family. I forgot that question was, you have a family. I forgot that was the question. question. Because it ended with me sucking off Hitler in Argentina. I was wild. And yeah, no, I didn't realize it that start. Okay, sorry. I'm Irish. If you did suck off Hitler, you think he would like it? I don't know. Is it hard? You know, it's a blowjob and he's Hitler. But there are good ways to do it. Oh, does that me? What's a good point?

You know, I don't know. It's a huge, it's like it's anal, but it's Magneto. Okay, no. Don't look at me. That's what it sounded like to me. Anyway, what do you mean? Like, Hitler is jaded? I just mean that, like, he's been through a lot. Yeah.

A joy or hardship. He had a very tough go of it. Right, you think so. Well, he contributed to it. Yeah, right. With his actions. Exactly. And words.

Exactly. Actions more. You make a mess of life something. time. Yeah. Like I think when Hitler was sitting in Argentina, he probably said, I've made a mess of this. Yeah, probably moments of him just like this. Yeah.

Oh, why, why, why, why, why, why, why. It would have been wild. It would have been wild had he been maybe really well adjusted and happy there. Right. But he's got, he's human. So there's got to be moments. It's like, that's too many, too many, too many. Yeah, he's got to go.

So many. He's had a hard decision to make, you know? Okay, explain to me what that means. Better defend. yourself, buddy. Yeah. Let me ask you somebody. Has there ever been a Mexican, like, tyrant? Yes. Has there ever been like once? That is... Because

China, we had Genghis Khan. He was a tyrant. Is it like the cartel or not really? No. No, we let the people live. Like... Who lives? What was that said? No, like... Yeah, yeah. We'll explore it. Go ahead.

The Mexican cartel is not that. It's bad, but not as bad as Hitler. No, of course not. Of course not. We're not, yeah, we're not saying. They don't have decisions like Kittler.

Okay. He had a choice. Yeah. They do several people's heads, though. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Why that? Hmm? Why that?

To send a message. Okay. Don't give me head. Get it? Yeah. Where is the wife? I thought, where is that?

No, I'm kidding. Yeah, yeah. I love, I watch cartels stuff all the time. I think it's great. It's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy.

I think many of them have got a bad rap, to be honest. Doing that website, gore.com. I've never done that. What is that? Right when the internet started, there was, you remember that? Is it like LiveLeak?

It was worse. Wow. It would show like motorcycle accidents in Thailand, right? Some guy just severed from the head and his hand is up of a fucking, do you think White Lotus kind of blue because it was in Thailand?

Let's be honest. Right? I only saw the first episode, so I haven't seen the first episode, so I haven't seen Too many fruit flies, right? There's like bugs in here. Yeah, yeah, I know. Why is there so many bugs here?

No idea. Is there food? I know there's no food. It's not real papaya. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's weird. I'm so sorry, guys. It's okay.

We just move on, because the camera can't catch that. We can. You could have just let it go, you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's throwing my face. I understand that, but it's like.

I didn't know what it's happened. No, I just gonna say that he has it like a little twitch or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, ignore this little, go ahead. I don't know, I'm talking. Oh, I'm not talking to them, but you're in Thailand? No. Is there a good cartel thing I should watch?

Is there a killer cartel doc or a killer cartel movie? Yeah, doc, cartel land. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a big one. Do you know what you people? No. You know anybody? That's not, that's a different country, yeah. It's a whole different country.

Oh, so there's no Mexican MS-13? There's Mexican mafia. There's Mexican mafia. Okay, okay. Okay. And then there's different cartels. Yeah. And little towns in Mexico.

Little towns. Calisco, what is that? Halisco. Halisco. Alisco, yeah. They got it going. Yeah. They get it coming.

And then there's Antijuana. And Tijuana. And the Chapo comes from Sinaloa? Yeah. Right. So Sinaloa is big. I want to go to Mexico City. Dude, it's one of the most beautiful cities in the world.

The restaurants, I can't. Food's great. The cultures are. Have you coming to Puyol or no? Pujol? Pujol. I have. Be your honest opinion about it.

Because I'm, I think about it every night. It's great. It really is. Yeah. Because they have Damien, the same owner, downtown. Is it different than Damien?

I think that Pujo is better. Wow. Pujol is here, actually, this month. Where? Damien. They're cooking out of Damien this month. March? April.

We're in April right now? Yeah. Can we make reservations? Have you been to Shinchon. Shin? No, fuck off. No, Bobby. Don't make up shit.

I'm not making up shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, Shenzhen. What is Shat Chachin? It's Bobby. What is it? It's a restaurant. What is it?

In Mexico City. Yeah, right. It's the top restaurant right now. Shen Janchin. In Mexico City? It's in Studio City. Oh, really? It's in L.A.

It's called Shenzhen Chon. It's called Shenzhen Chon. I don't know. Are you being real or not? Yes. Okay. How about this? It's called Shinton.

I think you're making fun of me. I don't really like it. I don't really like it. It's the top rated restaurant in LA. The timing is weird. Shen Chin Chin. You sing it different every time? You sing it different every time?

No, it's not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's called gook, go, cook. It's like, what? Called Shin Chen, shit. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good. The chef is famous.

All right, then prove it to me. I'll take you anytime you want. By making a reservation next week. I'll make it right now. And you and are going to go to... I'll make it right now. I'll call Shin-Jinjijin right now. Yeah, yeah.

I'll call it. I'll call it right now. Because this is bullshit, dude. No, it's not. It's got to be real, huh? If it's not, Shintin. Welcome to Arby's, I'm going to be saying, man. He's calling him a massage parlor.

What's today? Why are you panicking, dude? I'm not panicking. I get nervous. Next Wednesday. Next Wednesday. I get nervous. I have to talk to the day. Next Wednesday. Probably not answering because. No, if there's got to be a fucking voice.

A message. Just go. They don't... They don't... Keep going! Keep going! I'll call them back. What's the name?

I'm calling them back. What's the name? One more time. It's so hard for me to... It's Shenzhen, Chen. Why don't we know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's shut up.

It's fucking bullshit, though. It's not bullshit. Okay, hold on. Just... I'm calling them again. But leave it to the voice. I want to see if they're welcome to... Hi.

Hi. Hi. They know me. I'm there all the time. This is a restaurant. This is Shenshin-sun. I would like a reservation on Wednesday. Next Wednesday, 5.30 for four people.

Is that good? Of course, Mr. Dillon. Thank you so much. What's the restaurant called? What's the restaurant called? Shenzhen, son, right? Shenzhen, son. Thank you.

Thank you. Check that. You check that. They don't want people having their number, but literally, Bobby, can you apologize to me right now? Oh, my God. Bobby, please. I can't believe it.

You accuse me of being racist. It's the best restaurant in Studio City. I can't believe it. It's so good. I go all the time. Okay. The spicy you want, the chili wanton soup.

That's not. That's not really good. There's no chili. Bobby, they have fried shrimp ice cream. And they give you a sticker at the end. Oh, did you? And it's a sunflower.

Okay. All right, so we'll go. We're going Wednesday. Next Wednesday. I have the reservation. Okay. From that Chinese man who ends? Who are the other two?

What? Who are the other two? I think we should take under, less privileged, under-privileged, less fortunate people. Just the people that we see. I know who should bring? There's a kid that works at the comedy store.

I think he's open for you before. His name is Luke. Yeah, he's fun. Bring him. He'll go. He's also young and poor. He's poor, and then there's another one with the big hair.

I like him. Oh, Joey. He's got a fro. No lips. No lips. I made fun of him last night. He looks like a Muppet. Bring him.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Shen Shinson. Yeah, Sing Chishon's with those two boys. It's pretty good. Yeah, and they're going to be in awe. Will that be in awe? Why are we having dinner with Tim Dillon and Bobby Lee?

I know, they're going to be like, how are we there? But when they have the Ube pudding... At the Chinese restaurant? Yeah, because it's actually fusion. It's actually fusion. Yeah, yeah. It's actually... It's actually...

When they have the Jambalaya? Well, no, that's from New Orleans. That's not Asian. And the Stroganov? I'm going to tell you right now. What the fuck are you talking about this? Bobby, it's Fusion because right now it's about solidarity. It's not about differences.

Okay. So you like fusion? I don't want to commit to one thing. I like all the different things. They have edamame. Okay. Mi Simu. Japanese, okay?

Yeah, they do. And they have sushi sometimes. Do you eat Korean food? Of course I do. What's your favorite in Korea, time? Agassi Gop Chang. I love it for late night. It's great late night.

But I have to take it to Choson. I'd love to go to Choson. son. You'll love it. I'd love to. Okay. And after I take you to Chen and Chun. Oh, you take him a

chat, chichan, right? I'll take a chach ch'chon. Okay. That's what it sounds like. Puppy. Yeah, yeah. Puppy. Puppy.

It's a actually good restaurant. When we're sitting there, you're going to go, oh, this is actually crazy. Would you say it's the top five restaurants in L.A.? Right now it's the top five because it's so hard to get a reservation. Okay, good, good, good, good, good, good, good. They know me. Yeah.

Do you like Bestia? Bestia is one of the best restaurants. just a Michelin Star restaurants, phenomenal scallops are very good. Yeah. There's an attitude there where sometimes you want to walk in and hit them with a bag. Exactly. Yeah, yeah. And you go, hi, guys, I don't know if you know this, but you're slinging pasta and you're slinging in the middle of Skid Row.

Yeah. And you're going to die in the street alone like a door. Okay? So the agent's not calling back. The manager's not calling back. There are new auditions. The thing you're doing now is what you'll always do. Yeah.

Get the pizza. Shut up. So, but I do love best yet. I'm kidding. But it's no Shenzhenson. Really? Maybe new rule Don't say that again

It just hurts me when you say it Okay But it's not real Ascentuating it It's no good fusion restaurant that I like Okay good It's real I've seen him caught it

Yeah I believe him And it said the call idea said Chin chung Shang Oh gosh Well he actually got He was a little more racist Yeah he really He made it a little more racist

It was way more racist Let's be honest Yeah yeah yeah That was really racist But I get it Yeah. There's a city called Ching Chung Chung. Where?

Well, I don't... Where would that city be? In Magaland. Wait, it's just real. Look at them. Yeah. What? It's in like in China.

It's a city. It's a cyberpunk. Yeah, look at it. Why are you looking at us? Yeah, yeah. How do you spell it? It's Chong King. Chong King?

No. It's not Ching Chong Chong Chong. And I say Ching Chung Chung. No, we have to be very careful here because some of it is coming off racist. It's not Okay, good Okay All right

Anyway, okay We believe you dude Thank you Right so What else is a good place The Hobbit Tavern What's your favorite Italian

Austria Mata Nancy Silverton Oh yeah Highland and Melrose I know what yeah She's really nice Yeah Yeah

Friend of mine Really? Well yeah It's you know what's strange about you No Is Everyone seems to know you I know a lot of people

I know But not just fans, high up people. Some people do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How did you... Sucking Hitler off. When you suck Hitler off, people come up to you and it's an easy conversation.

Because when you had... Let me ask you a question. Yeah, your party is that you've invited me to. I mean, how do you know... What's Bruce Jenner's name? Caitlin Jenner. Caitlin.

Kenner. Well, Caitlin's, you know, a very fascinating person. She is. And I love her. That Netflix documentary about her, I think it's a... I like someone like that who really just says, hey, this is what I'm about. Yeah, I like...

But how do you meet somebody like that? You know, we had a mutual friend who said you guys would get along, and we got along and she came to the Christmas party. That's amazing. She's a really cool, fun, free spirit. Yeah. You know? There's a lot of people that were...

I like your parties because they felt really comfortable. There's cool people. It's a nice mix of. of like some industry. Yeah, but cool. writers, you know what I mean? Different kinds of people. Yeah, yeah, it's cool people.

It's like, it's like Caitlin Jenner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you and my age, right? It's a group. By the way, I mean, this is actually, you should actually be embarrassed. I mean, you should actually be embarrassed. Yeah, I'm fucking so embarrassed.

You're right. You're absolutely right. So the, you got a text from the restaurant. God, Dave's good. saying that... Confirms arrest? Yeah. I think what it is is...

I'm fucking good. It is, but there's certain ways to say certain words. Let's just say that. There's no way. I didn't mean to say it the way I said it. And I have to sit with that

and believe, and I have to be with myself. Because outside, when you saw Gilbert come up, you're like, what kind is that or something? Well, because I... I didn't know if he wanted me to do a traditional greeting. I was trying to be nice. It's an American guy.

What kind is that? Remember in White Lotus how when they all come off the thing and everyone stands and greets? I was doing. I thought it was that. It's not that. I thought it was that. It's not that. It's not that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the opposite of that. I thought it was that. Yeah, okay. Trying so hard to find this restaurant. Who is? Me. Well, here's why you're not going to find it online is because exclusive spots and I'm not trying to offend anyone here.

It's not like chilies.com. Yeah, yeah. Right, right, right, right. When a great chef has a pop-up restaurant in L.A., they don't put it online so that they can field millions of calls. They soft-launch it to very reputable people. So whenever these things occur, these soft launches or, you know what I mean little boutiquey things that pop up.

Yeah. Could you invite me to this? I would love food, but you never do. I just did. I just did. Because I fucking put you in a corner. I invited you because I thought it was going to be, and I still think it's going to be a great evening.

Oh, it's going to be a wonderful evening, yeah. Especially with those two boys. It's going to be fine. Men, I mean. Sorry, my better. They're men. Yeah. And thanks for doing my show last night.

Of course. Yeah, but do you have a watch? Well, is you late? You said 915. Yeah. That's what I thought the show was. I didn't know that was my spot. If you look at the tax, I said,

what time tonight? And you said 915, I should have thought that was my spot. I thought that's when the show was. I'm sorry. Well, thank God I was able to follow the rest of the people there. on the one up. I show up to a show we're supposed to be a stand-up show.

I walk into the showroom. There's three white ladies with acoustic guitar. I didn't love it either. Right? And a man singing, they're singing some sort of mama and papa,

you know what I mean? Hi, hipty shit, right? And it freaky. Oh, hi, Ireland. Oh, hi, airline. What was it? No one in the audience is Irish. No one in L.A. is Irish.

Yeah, yeah. And they were up to just going, ah, hi, hi, airline. And the people of the audience are like, are like, wide-eyed, like, what is this? And they're like, have you ever been to higher life? I go to higher life.

Yeah, yeah. And me and him, we go. I was in the back, yeah. Same for us. We like a very similar type of audience, and we don't really want the Indigo girls. And my instinct was to leave. But it ended up being a great show, and we love Greg.

And we love Greg, and I apologize to Greg many times already. I'm a flake, and you are too. But that's what makes us great. It does? Bobby. You got to all this. Okay, I'm a flake, I'm a liar. You know what?

For once in my life, let me own. Own it. All right, I'm a, I'm a flake, I'm a liar. I'm a bitch, I'm a mother. Yeah, yeah. I'm a sinner, I'm a saint. I'm a sinner. I'm a saint.

I'm a hell, I'm your dreams. Sometimes I masturbate with three fingers. So what? My bad. No, I get a bitter grip. That's right. My bad. Yeah, yeah.

What else am I? I'm a, but there are some good things about me. I'm sober, I try to help people. You're generous. Yeah, you're a good guy. You're just generosity. Yeah, like last night, you know, we did my new joke night, and I met this kid on this movie I did a couple of weeks ago.

And he was star of the movie, and we were talking on set. We're in Oklahoma City, and he mentioned that he was curious about doing stand-up. So I go, go up on my new joke night, and he showed up, went up first. Oh, man. And he was not nervous at all. I was That's a sociopath That's a full on

Actors a lot of them are full on Yeah yeah He was up there like hey You know just not shaking Hey everybody I'm a sociopath What's going on I watch my little sister drown And felt nothing

Anyway I'm at one of the most famous clubs in the world With a huge comedian Giving me an opportunity And I'm not fazed I'm completely unfazed Who could put somebody in a gas chamber I could

I'm a Nazi sociable. Right. Were you nervous the first time? Yeah. Yeah, petrified. I'm nervous now. When I get up on your show last night, I'm like, I hope this goes well. Yeah, yeah.

Because I'm like, it's Bobby, sure, I wanted to do well. It was a new joke. Nothing you could have done wrong. Yeah, Bobby would have been wrong. How did he do? He didn't get huge laughs, but he wasn't phased by it, which was interesting. Right, but I had a guy. I had a guy who's a friend of mine who's an actor.

He was in America Comedy Code with me in San Diego and he goes, let me just get up for you. He did five minutes, didn't get any laughs, and he didn't care. He walked off stage and went, well, that was kind of cool. Because I'm going to say it again. Okay. They are sociopaths.

Wow. They do not, they're not. Yeah. Because, like, what he's doing as an actor, he's going, I'm a stand-up comedian tonight. Yeah. It doesn't matter if they laugh. Yeah.

I'm this thing now. And then tomorrow he goes, I'm a cop. You know what I mean? I'm a detective. That makes sense. I'm a detective. that makes sense.

Because he's sitting in a thing and he overheard the conversation and he goes, I bet that actually the, you know, the killer was, and then he's a detective. Right. And the next day,

he'll put on a cowboy hat and he's a foxy. You know, I know these, Woody Guthrie. Right. I know these actors. They LARP is like working class guys

like they'll build like a table. Yeah. And they're like, I like building tables. And like one of them said to me, he goes, I can't believe you live in like the Beverly Hills area. I go, yeah.

He goes, I like to be like out of it. I don't like to be in it. I said, call your agent and quit. Yeah. My cousin works at Wendy's in Pennsylvania. Yeah. If you really want to be out of it. Go there.

Go there. Yeah. Chapel Ron, I don't want to be famous. Go work at Wendy's. Right. That's what she used to do. I hate when they say that shit. She goes, I hate being famous.

I go, then go work at Wendy's. By the way, you get a lot of privacy of Wendy's. Yeah. It's almost like you're not a line. That's how much privacy you get at Wendy's. It's like you don't exist. So go to Wendy's and be private. or are you going to not do that

win Grammy? One time I was at the cellar, I can't say who it was, but it was a pretty famous guy and after my set he grabs me, he goes, hey, let's go hang out, so you know, have a cigarette or whatever. And there was people out there waiting in line for the next show, whatever, right? And he was like, I don't want to see people, I don't want to see

people, you know what I mean? Right. Yeah, yeah, like, no photographs. I'm uncomfortable about it, it's so weird. It's like, dude, that's why we do it. Yeah, dude, it's so weird. You got to be right? That's why we do it, you fucking idiot. You dreamt about it. It jerked off. Did he say to you the actor, the kid

go, thank you so much for having me. Oh, he was so grateful. He was like, can I do it again? That's a cycle. Again? Yeah, yeah. And I'm going to put him again. Can I do it again? Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was good. It's weird. But not all actors like that, because I don't, I've heard of this, but Merrill Streep

gets super nervous. She'll vomit before the day before. She's the greatest actress of all time. Yeah. Maybe her and the kid in the belly room last night have slightly different constitutions. You know what I mean? Yeah, what do you mean?

She's maybe like really good at the thing and he's like a guy. No, he's a really good actor. Like Merrill Streep is? Well, he's a kid. Exactly. Right. He's not Merrill Street.

But he played Nicole's kid's son in this movie. No one cares. Movies are done. Movies have been done. You know what I mean? Enough. You and I have that conversation all the time. Enough.

Host cards from The Edge. How great's that? Merrill Streep. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Come on, Charlie McLean. Yeah. That line.

Yeah. Being there. You ever see that? Great. Who's in it? What? Who's in it? Peter Sellers. Okay, very good.

Bobby. Sometimes you think I'm, you know, me. Defending your life. I mean. We're going to talk about it at the restaurant. Yeah, yeah. All movie talk, the whole night. All movie talk.

Go ahead. And, Chin's sung. Son. Okay. Anyway, I, um, I'm into horror movies. You ever see Let the Right one in? Yeah. Good one.

What is it? It's a good one. Well, what happens is it you have like this weird situation. It's hard to describe. Yeah, yeah, okay. It's ominous. Yeah. There's two kids.

Okay. It's two children. Yeah, yeah. And you go, did we let the right one in? It's that kind of. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, exactly.

Here's the thing. If you know, if the wrong one's in, it's all kinds of problems. Right. That's the way I feel. Never thought of it that way. That's the Trump. immigration issue. Did you let the right one in?

So that's really what they've been doing right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did we let the right one in? The answer is no. Train to Busan, you see it? Yeah. Zombies. There we go.

Now you know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been to Busan. Killer, killer. Do you like Korean men? Restaurant. I like Asian men, yeah. I don't know the difference between Korean and another time.

What do you mean? Have you dated a Korean man? No, but I don't know the difference. But if you said to me a Korean man versus a Chinese man or North Korean man. Oh, there's no difference there. Well, Bobby, I don't know that.

It's like East and West Germany. It's actually a huge political difference. There is, that's true. It's a massive political difference. I like, I find North Koreans are more amenable to me the ones that are living in Korea now. What do you mean?

The ones who are still in North Korea. Yeah, what, what? I do very well with them. You've never been there. Well, I speak to them online. I'd speak to them online. Yeah, yeah. North South. You know?

You're more into the North. I got to be honest. Well, you're a little leverage. This person looks like they got it going to have a great life. Yeah. This is a person who goes. Yeah, I haven't eaten three weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

He goes, we're going to Craigs. You can imagine going there now, though. Well, imagine if Trump goes, we got North Korea. Right. And you guys are going to be the first Americans to do any kind of business there. It would be amazing. What would you do? I would go.

I would go. We would go. Yeah. Open to yogurt land? We would go do a comedy show. Yeah, but what can it? If he's like, you guys have a year to prop up businesses. Yeah.

What would we be open there? I think frozen yogurt's a great idea. Yeah, yeah. Pokey balls. Right. Pokey balls. They've never had a bokeball. They've never had a poker bowl.

And then, you know what? We can do a pop-up puyo or ch-chong-chong-chong. You need a viral dessert. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. We also karaoke. No, they do that already. No, they have that.

Yeah, yeah. We got to give them America. I know what. Spearmint rino. Sure. Imagine. We fly in L.A. strippers. Yes.

It would blow that guy. Some country guy? Just sitting there? Yeah. His dude would go, and it would fly into this fucking sky. That's right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Through the woodroof, dude.

Imagine. I would be. Some blonde with fucking, oh, my God. Huge tits. Huge tits with the aerolas. You just have like a glitter. Like an emaciated, starving.

Yeah, yeah. He had a dumpling a year. He's just, the cap is over his big. Right. He still has a bowl of rice on his head balancing. That's amazing. Right?

I hope that's where weird. And you go, pop, right through the fucking sky. I hope that's what Trump's get trending. Yeah. I hope we're doing that. Yeah. What else who could be? What, you know what I would like to introduce to them?

Any technology. That can get fuck it up quick. Why? Because we're here to make money and get the fuck out. They're all going to start fighting. We want to keep them happy. Let's get them fed first. Okay, okay.

Let's get them. All right. Some entertainment. Some entertainment. man. You know what I mean? Let's get him some movie. Movie theater.

Here's the movie theater. Othello. We're in Danzel and Jake Gillen out there. Broadway? How about that? Bill Burr and the... Harry Potter. Wow.

Oh, they're just a movie. Yeah. It would blow their mind. It would blow their mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There are wizards. They've never seen a wizard. They have no idea.

Yeah. They would go nuts. There's a lot of people. Black people? They've never... Dude, here's what we put out fucking Malcolm X. Yeah?

They'll blow their mind. What about this? Crazy rich. This is CGR. Crazy rich. Crazy rich. All right. Whoa.

That would be funny. Kind of not. Yeah. Oh, the Joker, too, they still know it sucks. No, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. Why do you think of all the time? It's so stupid.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what I thought? That fat prison guard, good. Lady God, a big mistake. What do they're going to show us next? Borderlands! We hate borderlands! We rather the actual border!

They go to the DMZ? Wow. Yeah, I love... It's crazy. They're just so isolated. But anyway... It is, but you know what? It's happy. They're happy. I don't think they are good. I think a lot of the more. You don't know what you don't know. Oh, yeah. You know what? That's a great... You know what? We've got to start thinking... Love on the spectrum. The new season? Do you see the new season?

They're happy. Have you seen the new season? Connor? Connor? Fantastic. When he kisses that girl, I mean, if you haven't seen it, I'm just going to give you a spoiler. He has his first kiss with this girl.

Right. And he's almost faint. Right. Because I don't know what's going on, right? Right. And then his last line was, I can't feel my legs. Yeah.

Right. I have a one kiss. Right. And I think that's the one thing that I'll never know. Is that, is that... Numbness in your legs? No.

No, I've had several strokes. I have diabetes, too. But, no, what, this is, I'm being real here. Yeah. It's, I think I'm so jaded throughout the years of being a comic. Sure. That a kiss does nothing for me. You know what I mean?

Like, you have to stick your two fingers in my butt hold to get any kind of response. You know what I mean? And my point is, is that, I mean, that's a little extreme. But when I saw Connor Kiss, the purity of that, the innocence of it, and I think that's what love is. I think you're right. And I think you and I fucked it up. Well, yeah, I think it's the drugs and everything.

Yeah, when meth, yeah. I think it's the drugs and the copious amounts of drugs and alcohol. Yeah. That would be my guess. That's my guess. That would be my guess. Because I remember in my early 20s having those feelings of like, like, oh, wow, what is happening? You know what I mean?

Right. The longing. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then you get knee deep in it. You can get it back. I don't think you can. No, you can.

I agree. I don't know if a kiss You mean? Also, you're talking about a show about autistic people That's love on the spectrum Yeah, I know. What if I didn't know?

What? That's how I am. They're experiencing the world differently. It's not bad. It's just different. Yeah, but I do think that in my early 20s... I haven't finished my point.

I agree. You want to get out of here? Is that what? No, I agree. Yeah, we're almost done. I know what you were going to say. No, what was I going to say? Early 20s, you felt that kind of magic

that he felt. That's what I felt, right? So I think it is in me, right? So I think the way to do it because last time I contemplated it and I rewound that scene over and over again. It made me cry. The purity of it. Well, that's beautiful.

I don't believe you. But anyway. Okay. Yeah, yeah. I'm being fucking real with you. I'm being real too. I also cry. I also cry.

And I was like, and I thought about it in bed, I was like, I think the only way I can do it is I've stayed absent for a couple of years. Yeah. Right? Cut out all the porn, strip clubs, all that stuff. You know what I mean? And then just like work on myself, focus on what I need to focus on. And maybe magically I'll meet somebody that's going to take me off my feet.

That's what I want. Don't you want that, Tim? Sure. You want to be in love. It would be nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And to raise a family or not, whatever.

You want to raise a family? He looked at you at a certain way. No, I'm just, you want to raise a family? Okay. Do you really want to raise a family? You don't want one baby. I might, I don't know. Yeah, you do.

I don't know. You'd be a great father. Well, of course I would, but that's, I think there's more consideration than that. Imagine that kid. But he'd be so creative. Yeah. You'd know, no. No, your kid will be great, though.

It would be good. I think your kid would be absolutely good. It depends on who my wife is. What? Depends on who my wife is. Not so much, but maybe. Genetics. Listen, do we have the lifestyles where you can raise children?

That's a good question. Think about it. Let's be very honest. Are we selfless enough to raise children? That's a hard question. Here's the thing when Esther. You'd be a great father. So would I probably, but like, it's, it's, we have to really, we'd have to tone down.

We're very into us. But don't you want to change? I'm not saying it's not, I'm not saying it's not possible or it wouldn't be preferable, but you have to think about can you give that child so much of your time? I think I can.

And I think that, like, what I spent eight hours a day playing Stardue Valley. Okay. You know, this is great good. And you could do it with the kid. Or I can spend four hours, you know what I mean? Yeah.

Being with the kid. That's right. Right. And what I'm saying is that, like, the only, what you sprung up for me was Esther having a baby, you didn't see her for a while. Right. And it's like, I want to still be in the game.

But maybe a guy can do it. I don't know. I don't know. These are hard questions. Are they not? Yes. We're going to talk about it. I know, but it's like, I just don't talk about things like that with you.

That's why it's weird. That's why we're going to go to dinner. Yeah, but what are we going to talk about? Yes. Yeah, blowing fucking Hitler. No, we're going to talk about being fathers. We can pretend those guys are our sons That's what we're going to say

Which one do you want? It would be more realistic With the big Joey to be I don't want the one without the lip I get that one Both lips are gone I know how did that happen God wasn't creative that day

Right It's sometimes like Tired yeah Well sometimes when you see a factory right And some guy misses something Like a bolt Human error Yeah a whole human error

And he's born And then God went By the way they'll love the restaurant They'll be excited about it. And I think we will talk about having children. All right. So when does a special come out? April 15th.

Do you have fun here? I loved it. I had a great time. Join now. Join Netflix. I love that. Join now. Where did you shoot it?

At the mothership? We shot at the mothership. Wow. Rogan was very kind to let us do that. Yeah. Is it a good place to shoot, you think? It's a fun. It's a fun club.

It's a great club. I have no dates on the market. You don't? No. You directed your own special. Would you recommend Bobby does that with his? Yeah, I think so. I think it's fake.

The director? It's fake. It's kind of fake. It seems easy. It's point the camera at the stage. I mean, unless we're doing something. Or maybe have Tim direct yours. Yeah.

Do you want to do it at Chun Chun? Yeah, I already go. I don't do my... You know, we can talk about this. They have a back room. Yeah. Anyway, watch Tim. Watch my special.

It's special. and then anything you want to plug? That restaurant. That restaurant. And that restaurant, and I have a podcast and call the Cherokee experience. And just that restaurant, go to that restaurant, go to it. We're going to go together Wednesday. We're going to get some.

It's the best. If it doesn't happen, we'll have to revisit it. It's actually great. Okay. I love it. And give Tim a round of applause, everybody. Thank you. That was so easy.

How great is my realtor for doing that? fake restaurant, obviously. The way he jumped on so fast. How brilliant, my realtor text me back everything. That was so... Of course I am. It's fake. Dude, the text back was amazing. It's still right.

It's still right. How did you get fooled? How are you? Five, four, three, two, we're back. So we ended the podcast. And I admitted the restaurant's fake. It was my real estate agent who got to do that text. I'm going to tell him that was brilliant.

We're not going to dinner Wednesday. Bobby's sad. but not at that fake restaurant I made up. You didn't know it was fake. I swear to God, I'm my mother's life. He said it was a Chinese man and they had the most American accent. Yeah, it was a guy. I was like, I was like, a shit, son, and he's like, hello.

But it was, but you know what? It was a great moment for all of us. It was a good bit. The show worked. Everything went. It hit. People love it. People are.

Don't feel, I, uh, I, uh, Googleed like five. different names to try to find it. And I couldn't. I was really, but the believability is that sometimes some of these restaurants. You don't know. You don't know. But that's what a good lie is. Damn. And then you had a guy text you that whole thing. You're brilliant. With actual Asian character letters.

And I didn't even tell him to. I didn't even tell them to. That's absolutely incredible. It was a great bit. Yeah. I prepared this for two months. It was a bit. It was a bit. We worked up this for six months. I'm going to get revenge. It's fair. Okay. That's fair. I look like a fool. I don't think you look like a fool. I do, and I'm going to get revenge.

You know how I get revenge? You guys know, right? It's deep. It's deep. Yeah. It has to be. I hope it's very deep. Yeah, yeah.

So anyway, um, okay, Tim Dillon. What's up, my little Mexican bean? My name is Bobby. And my real name is Robert. I have a little bit of, uh, find that. The issues. And a little bit. of identity crisis.

Are you laughing your own song? I love it. I've never heard such a loud laughter for your own song. You gotta DJ?