TigerBelly - Zach Justice & Spreading The Lee Message

Episode Date: June 26, 2024

Zach Justice (Dropouts Podcast) aka Bobby's padawan makes his first appearance! We chat being old, Margaritaville, dragon kiss, John Travolta, icky taste, first-class Kevin Smith, baby Chauncy, and th...e Bobby & George fight.  Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders AND two free pillows for our listeners!  Go to www.helixsleep.com/belly This is their best offer yet and it won’t last long!  With Helix, better sleep starts now.  

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 This episode is sponsored by Helix. Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash belly. That's helixsleep.com slash belly. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now. You don't use cans? Do you use these or no? You don't have to.
Starting point is 00:00:50 Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I rewatched Godzilla minus one last night for the third time. Fantastic, isn't it? I have problems with it now. Oh, good, good, good. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:01:04 I have big problems with the movie. Do you have problems with it? No, I liked it. How many times have you seen it twice? Once a color one in black and white? Oh I can white makes it a completely different. I said in sepia More Western more Western more Western antique Anyway is that justice more Western antique. Oh, I don't know. What are your problems with it? Anyway, Zach Justice. Woo! Dropouts. Yeah!
Starting point is 00:01:29 Do you remember me? His ex was Indiana, whatever the name. That's my car. What's that say? Your ex was an Indiana Jones? Yeah, yeah, she was Indiana Jones. She's Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford.
Starting point is 00:01:38 I like to say, I mean, I used to be the characters of the movie, but he used to date Harrison Ford. So that's great. And he was great. It's in his old age He wasn't as great of a lover just because his hips kind of give out But besides that are you not gonna put these on because I was bullied into it He just meditated Really I get into meditation saying every once in a while. Are you feeling you experience in life to the fullest?
Starting point is 00:02:04 I just woke up so I have no idea what I literally just woke. I'm just I just woke up I don't know every time I'm here. I woke up, but my point is is that um Zack's you know when I did your podcast how long long ago was that a year and a half if I? My calendar is right in my room. Yeah, and it was uh He was quite an experience Positive negative I like to think you ever thought about it since like that's how I like to think that you haven't thought about it since. Like that's how I like to think about it. Were you bamboozled into it, weren't you?
Starting point is 00:02:29 Oh, oh we were. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard you were bamboozled into it. He was promised things. No gift bag, we weren't even bamboozled. Bamboozled. I heard that you thought that you were gonna see a woman there and it was just too.
Starting point is 00:02:40 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I just, no, that's not bamboozled. What was it, Trix? It wasn't like I was like, oh I'm gonna do it because his groove, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, be defensive. Come on, Jack, don't read her out. No, you too, man. Me too? Yeah, yeah, yeah, let me say something. This is what it made me feel like. When I showed up like, oh,
Starting point is 00:03:11 she still wanna be here because of me. No, no, no, no. It hurt my feelings. It was more that our hearts had separated in such a way that we're in pain. You were broken up then. We had broken up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:03:22 I mean, we'll get back together if you need me to though. How are you feeling today? I feel like I'm excluding you from. You're not. had broken up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, we'll get back together if you need me to though. How are you feeling today? I feel like I'm excluding you from. You're not. Okay, okay. Our hearts are no longer in pain. Yeah, please don't lock the dies with her. Oh, yes ma'am.
Starting point is 00:03:32 Yeah, yeah. Yes ma'am. Yes ma'am. Yes ma'am. I have questions about this. So you pod, like Bobby and I, you pod casted with your ex for how long? As long as we could do it for.
Starting point is 00:03:45 We probably did it for like two years. We didn't start off dating though. I think we dated like a year or two actually into the podcast. You just spend that much time with people and then you look in their eyes one day, there's a twinkle. Whoa.
Starting point is 00:03:58 Oh, I do want to say this off the rip. You guys were one of the reasons we started doing podcasting and we just did our four year episode. No way. Congratulations. We influence. You guys were one of the reasons we started doing podcasting and we just did our four-year episode When I first moved to LA My people have heard the story many times, but it was it was pretty rough But you guys kept me going with my little screen on my laptop My little bunk bed Were we still in the old studio that time with a? Oh brother, I've seen so many studios.
Starting point is 00:04:25 Hey brother, what was it, yeah? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, you're OG, like way. You're OG. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. You're OG, yeah, you're OG. Yeah, you helped me out with my racism, I appreciate it. Well, I mean, did you get, now did you get a little trouble
Starting point is 00:04:38 from the little bit of, like, cause I, listen, I just have to say, I've had calls from people, not from, about you, but other white dudes that go, hey dude, I'm in a little trouble right now because when I was with you I did an Asian accent. You mean Jared? You literally made him do an Asian accent. I know, my point is no, but there's other dudes
Starting point is 00:04:57 that I've done it with in the past, and then they come. So I'm, being an Asian guy, how do you feel about it it I don't mind it we live in a very specific world the specific world of racism yeah I just think as a like all of us being Asians in this room like we shouldn't it's it's really yeah what is your go to Asian accent do you go to? I want to know what region like how does your sound are you more like railroad or I? It's kind of like the oh No, no, no, I call East Asians railroad. Yeah, yeah, we're island. We're island Do a railroad accent I forget what that sounds like Yeah, yeah, oh it's all the live long day
Starting point is 00:05:41 Yeah, they used to sing that on the fucking when they're building those with the Irish long day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Live long day, yeah. Yeah, they used to sing that on the fucking, when they were building those with the Irish. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Anyway, because the Irish and the Chinese built the railroads together. Why are you so confused? I know history. What are you in? Filipino.
Starting point is 00:05:54 Oh my gosh. What are you? Can you sing? No, it's so sad. Oh my God, can I tell you? Is that racist? That's positive. Positive racist.
Starting point is 00:06:02 No, she's the boxing kind. Positive racist. Okay, okay. She's the boxing kind. The billiards and boxing kind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, that Jean completely skipped me. No dancing, no dancing, no singing. No, like, grand karaoke. Like, he's the musician between the both of us.
Starting point is 00:06:16 Yeah, she... If I give you a word, could you go off of and just kind of sing a little tune for me? I'm gonna take these off. Take those off. That was a power move. I could only, I could not hear you for whatever reason even though we're all in one mic and I could only hear you and that that felt like a quality wasn't in the room. You do what's comfortable then. Yes. I mean it's just you abruptly did
Starting point is 00:06:37 it and it was shocking. Yes sir I know it was my surprise. I know but anyway okay go ahead. Okay. What were you asking me? I just feel like you could, if I give you the term jelly bean, like what? Jelly bean in my bag. The colors are all over the rainbow. Because it's June, great reference. Right.
Starting point is 00:07:00 One tastes like cherries, one tastes like orange. Something like that. Yeah. I don't mean this in any negative way. I wouldn't turn my chair around if I was on a certain show. Oh. Like the voice? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:07:15 But I'm sure. Oh, I didn't know I was doing the voice. No, no, you were. Jelly beans. Right there. Thank you so much. Do you think when they have celebrity people come? Why are you, first of all.
Starting point is 00:07:26 What dude? I can't speak to anybody in this room. I'll tell you what's going on. I'll tell you what's going on right now and I don't like it. Okay, yes sir. What's going on right now is because you're a podcaster. I was trying to take over. You're taking over and we're not doing this right now.
Starting point is 00:07:40 No I get it. Lean back, lean back. Alright, lean back. Alright. How far back? No, yeah, yeah. You got, lean back. All right, lean back. All right. How far back? No, yeah, yeah. You got a little nervous, like, well, I'm going to have to, like, do my thing, you know
Starting point is 00:07:48 what I mean? And show my muscle. And right, we don't do, Alex, right? We don't do that in this town. I just want to strong arm the situation. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Very wide-open. I want you to be nervous.
Starting point is 00:07:56 I want you to have no control. Yes, sir. Okay? What's so funny? It's a classic. I need you. How many girls have heard that same thing? No, no, no.
Starting point is 00:08:04 No, no. That's very funny. I'll sit here. No, that's five. But my point is this. So, you know, you're in your comfort zone. You're not in your comfort zone. I actually am. Really?
Starting point is 00:08:17 Yeah, yeah. I think you guys are delightful people. You keep talking. That's the thing. Brother, this is what I do for a living. No, I'm not talking anymore. He's very good. What I'm saying is that you talk to fill the space. Yeah. And you know, when I go on dates with women, don't you hate when you're in a date with somebody? And they're like, well, what do we talk about? It's like, if we're not comfortable being in silence, this ain't gonna work out dog. Yeah, but that first date, it's it's pain. Silence really is that painful. I can't do it I can't do it either like I can't have dead space
Starting point is 00:08:48 We bet aren't you like a professional dater at this point like don't you find you bitch? I mean don't aren't you no yeah, you're right like that was a compliment. Oh, that was good. Yes, all right Sorry, my bad if I'm gonna speak up any time is for a woman go ahead. Don't treat her like that. Thank you Wow, we're talking about I talked to all my friends like that. Okay. Okay. That's how I know. Why are you getting involved? You're too kind to me. Why are you getting involved? You're right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Back up. Yes, sir. That's your last name. Justice. What the fuck? Who has a last name like Victoria? Justice. My dad was in the military at one point. He's captain justice. I don't know if you want me to speak yet, but I thought it was cool. Really? Your dad was named captain justice? Yeah, one time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is cool. I do think that your name sort of gets you far in life and you should be really careful with naming babies and what last name you carry, don't you think?
Starting point is 00:09:35 Yeah. Is Justice Captain Justice? Yeah. I bet you are on the promotion list every single time just for having a catchy name. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and then, I don't know, it's tough because I got a really cool name.. And then, I don't know, it's tough because I got a really cool name. I'm tall, I don't know.
Starting point is 00:09:49 Depending on the situation, charismatic. I'm not showing it here fully, but just knowing the right setting I can be charismatic. We'll get there. And like, you know, so like everything. I don't actually, to be honest with you, and that's the fact. There's just certain things that worked out in my life
Starting point is 00:10:03 because of that. I don't think it has. Physical. Yeah, yeah. Wait, I have a question for you both. Yes, ma'am. to be honest with you, and that's a fact. There's just certain things that worked out in my life because of physical. Yeah, yeah. Wait, I have a question for you both. Yes, ma'am. On dates, you really let like dead air happen, Bobby? And do you, I can't imagine you. What do you think?
Starting point is 00:10:16 I think a lot of things. Silence, you allow for silence to happen and just like awkward staring. If we were on a legit date right now, how would you interact? I just, you're doing that that thing again and I love it. So you know what, I wouldn't appease you because you're my guest.
Starting point is 00:10:29 Thank you, sir. You're leaning forward, you're being trying to, it's your dominance, I don't like it. It's not really a dominance thing. Yeah, yeah, get your hand away from me, please. That was pretty close. All right, what's so funny? What is going on here?
Starting point is 00:10:39 So let's go one by one. You said the first two dates, yes, I know how to add information. And I know how to say something funny. Look at the hills or whatever. What's so funny? Don't talk about her breath. How soon in the conversation are you bringing up her breasts?
Starting point is 00:10:58 No, the actual hills in that. Oh, I know. In the driving. Oh, okay. Yay, yay, yay. I wouldn't call her tits. If they were so small that they were hills, I don't think I would bring it up.
Starting point is 00:11:07 I'd go mountains. Then I would do it. Gotcha. Gotcha. You know what I mean? Gotcha. OK. Mount Fuji.
Starting point is 00:11:14 You usually pick on a Japanese girl. In this setting, you've picked her up, because the first conversation is. I always pick it up. OK. Yeah. My thing now is, I don't know if I should even talk about it, but I'll just, ah, forget it.
Starting point is 00:11:27 No, please do. It's been a couple of times where I've been on dates and they've said now, I'm too old. You know what I mean? So it's like, you know, but they go, they wait for the second or third date to say it. And I'm kind of like, say it in the beginning. Or don't, and also if that's an issue,
Starting point is 00:11:45 you know what I mean, then just don't say yes to the date. Well, I find it interesting that yes, you are right in that if that is their age parameter that they put on their settings, I don't see why. What do you mean settings? Oh, you mean on dating sites? Yeah, because you meet these girls on dating sites, right? No, sometimes I meet them live in the wild.
Starting point is 00:12:05 That is tricky with you though because you do have rhino hide skin and that like you really do look young. He looks young and he carries young. I guess 50 if I had to. I'm assuming younger. God, that one man. What you doing, what you doing?
Starting point is 00:12:22 But my point, yeah thank you, I mean. Yeah. How old are you? I'm 28. Wow. I'm just spry, that's all I am. You're spry. You are spry. Yeah, yeah, you're boyish.
Starting point is 00:12:31 Well congratulations, I mean, well you have your whole future ahead of you. And I'm so very, very, very, very. It depends on if the gun jams, but I get you. That's a funny joke. You shoot me? No, me, brother. Okay, all right, brother.
Starting point is 00:12:42 We can share in one point. Okay, so if somebody's 28 and I ask them out and they say yes and then the third day they go, you're too old. But why aren't you dating a little bit older or is that just like your preference? That's a great question. You enjoy.
Starting point is 00:12:57 And I have a great answer. You hate the way women age? Like what if we had the like ballparking? Threw me away at 36, 37, right? Well, he text me beforehand. He said he's like, he's like, dude, they started wrinkling. And he just said they I was like, what does that mean? He goes, I never said that.
Starting point is 00:13:13 And you can't even remember her name because she's like, she doesn't look the same. Can we just can we get back to the truth then? Yeah, let's get back to the truth. And again, I'm derailing on funnies and sillies and this isn't my place. You're doing great. No, I wanna apologize. You're doing well tonight.
Starting point is 00:13:31 Go ahead. All right, so first of all, the two or three that I have mentioned are ones that hit on me first. Okay. Right? So they hit on me first. And then I always look at their profile to see like What they do for living or maybe just to get a gist of just general lifestyle or whatnot, right?
Starting point is 00:13:50 And so then you know, it's not as if like I go, you know They they also on Raya they like me first now because every time I like somebody they never liked me back So I just kind of wait until they like me first and then I like them back. So my point is being is that, and I'm right in my name, it's the biggest fucking font on the fucking thing, your age, right? So it's like. So they know.
Starting point is 00:14:14 They know, it's just after the second or third date then they go, yeah, you're too old. And I'm like, okay, go ahead. I think I know why they wait till the third date. It's because he starts getting mad with they don't know 1950s references and he starts yelling at them. And then they're probably like, okay,
Starting point is 00:14:33 I cannot keep up with his Kurosawa references, like I'm out, you're too old. When he came on our podcast, it was Vietnam this and bowing that. Exactly. It was strange. Yeah, he gets deep into that stuff. And then he shows it. Do you think I go, wow, that situation's like Yo-Himbo.
Starting point is 00:14:49 Like I, I, I, I, I, I, I mean. No, that's not what you say. How Rashomon over you. You're a fucking mind. This is how you say it. You're like, how do you not know Yo-Himbo is how you say it. I don't say that. I don't say that.
Starting point is 00:15:01 That is. Yes it is, cause on ours you're like, let's talk about the Battle of the Bulge. I was like, dude, can we just talk about that? I never said that. I never said anything about it. I said it. I've never heard of Battle of the Budge.
Starting point is 00:15:10 About Hamburger Hill just because of the movie. You're like, how do you load your musket? I said, dude, let's just. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I never said the musket thing, all right? You know that would be true, okay? What I'm saying is, I think you're wrong about it. Now, I do go, okay, so I am dating somebody
Starting point is 00:15:26 that knows the Velvet Underground, the Beatles, right? And she even, she goes, do you know this Velvet Underground, Lou Reed song? I had never even heard of it. You know what I mean? It's like something Charlie's, you know what I mean? I can show it, but anyway, and I go, oh yeah, I've heard of it. And I was kind of playing in her car,
Starting point is 00:15:48 but then at home I went and fucking put it on my playlist. I'd never heard of it. ["Heal It Sleeps"] Helix Sleep for your back. You guys, I love, I mean, I have mattresses all over my house. And I only use Helix Sleep because, I love, I mean I have mattresses all over my house and I only use Helix Sleep because I want high quality mattresses for all my guests to stay over. I have Buddhist monks stay over at my house sometimes and they love to namaste on my beds.
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Starting point is 00:17:12 than by sleeping on it, like actually sleeping on it and in your own home. Yeah, I know. So what they offer is, Bobby, a 100-night trial and a 10 to 15-year warranty to try out your new Helix mattress. Oh my Lord, dude, that's such a generous offer. Everybody is unique too, so I'm just gonna throw that out there. I already said that though.
Starting point is 00:17:30 I know, that's why I just said it one thing. Go ahead, I'll close it out, Gil. Helix is offering up to 30% off all mattress orders and two free pillows for our listeners. Go to helixsleep.com slash belly. That's helixsleep.com slash belly. This is their best offer yet and it won't last long. With Helix, better sleep starts now
Starting point is 00:17:52 You introduce me to her I just feel like we're better match. No, why age-wise? What is okay? Let me just say let me say one last thing and I get I get it I get what people are saying, but let's. But there would be no, if Theo's dad, Vaughn, if Theo's dad, I'm fucking so mad, Theo Vaughn's dad was what, 70, right? And his mom was in the mid-20s or whatever. If they had a baby, there would be no Theo Vaughn.
Starting point is 00:18:22 In fact, I think you get a Theo, there would be no Theo Vonn. In fact, I think you get a Theo Vonn when you have old sperm and young. It's like a fucking chemistry class. But as someone who comes from... You too! I know. My parents had a 36 year age gap.
Starting point is 00:18:39 Fucking creepy. Like when you're a child. You would not exist without that combination. I understand that, but there was a very conscious discomfort I felt when I looked at my dad and my mom together, and I understood the age disparity, very, very young.
Starting point is 00:18:57 I just have a simple question. When did they meet? So he was in his late 50s, I think he was 56, and she was early 20s, they have 36 years, he was 57, she was 22. I thought you were going to throw a 12 at me. I was like, these arranged marriages get weird, but alright. You know, and it was, yeah, like I got, I am creeped out by it. Even though I love my dad, I love my mom, like it's just. Are they still attending this earth? He's really dead. No, he's not attending this earth? He's really dead, no he's not attending this earth.
Starting point is 00:19:25 He's super dead. He went to God's grave. He would have been 100 this year in August. Yeah. Yeah. And yeah. What I'm saying though, though, chemistry wise, it's happened throughout the history of time
Starting point is 00:19:35 and I want to say you're one of the greatest people I've ever met in my life. He's just too old and wrinkly, like I get it. No, no, that's not what it was, that's not what it is. I can define myself. I can define myself to the end of time. I know that's not what it is. You can't even look at her, but I get it. You can look down the line. So I'm looking at Filipino Jessica Tandy. Oh my God, I love Jessica Tandy. Lover. All right. So my point my point is that's not what it is,
Starting point is 00:20:05 and it's like, and two of my most favorite people in the whole world, not you, Kailila and Theovon, were a product of that combination. And if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't have you two in my life is all I'm saying. It's a valid point. And we can move on. We can move on from here, okay?
Starting point is 00:20:23 Thank you. You're welcome. So are you seeing somebody now? I am not. I find that... There we go. Here we go. Don't lean back like I'm about to go on some long monologue.
Starting point is 00:20:35 You know what? No. I'm with that, brother. Take a sip of your Red Bull and keep this thing moving. You're... On the... Your fucking attitude right now is fucking My attitude is the passive aggressive you asked me one question on this podcast. It's
Starting point is 00:20:52 Here we go. Let's see what this generation has to say No, that's not what I did and you're just perceiving it that way and all you based on your perception He's been throwing little birds under the table so only I can see him. He'll throw a little middle finger up He said no, I do sign language dude all right in the underneath I didn't know what it meant okay so my point is this okay see there's another Asian reference no it's not yeah yeah it makes so much sense he's been watching tiger Billy for so long I'm seeing little slim it uh similar there is a little bit of influence influence there's a little bit of influence good as So as much as you hate me, just know you hate yourself.
Starting point is 00:21:25 I'm nothing but a white mirror, brother. That's... We're nothing alike. All right, we're not in the WWF 1980s, okay? Stop calling me brother and man and all that kind of stuff. It's, right? That's how I just feel. That's how you, yeah?
Starting point is 00:21:43 Kid? Yeah, I love that. Yeah. A little Pocahontas. Well, that's more over here. Yeah, you got to say that. No, I don't think. All right. Chachi, I'm going to run away with her like John Smith. You're going to be so sad with her.
Starting point is 00:21:55 Yeah. Yeah. He's got somebody. Oh, how is it? How is it? It's good. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's thick, thick. How do you know? You know, I see them. I met them. Yeah. Big dick. There's some people you're How do you know? You know. I've seen him, I've met him. Yeah, but you've had it. Thick dick.
Starting point is 00:22:08 There's some people you're like, you know. You know, yeah, yeah. The thickest of all of them all. Thick dick. Is there any, is it weird at all doing a podcast with your ex? Like what is your significant other thing about that? Like every day or every week?
Starting point is 00:22:20 I preface every single date and meeting with the I'm best friends with my ex. This is a non-negotiable I love him. He's a part of my life If that is something that you'll never be okay with speak now or forever hold your peace. That's it It's like you're still there finishing each other's sentences And there were some dudes who were cool with it like in the beginning and as time went on you could tell that he was Really great in the beginning and as time went on you could tell that he was really grating on their soul. And I was just like I'm sorry I told you like upfront. But sometimes he would do this thing. That he would do the Django.
Starting point is 00:22:59 He would do the Django and change dance. If he knew I was on the phone with. That dance might be dicey. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He would do this thing where if he knew I was on a phone with a boy, he would bargain. And barge. And say, babe, where's my spaghetti? That's right.
Starting point is 00:23:16 Really loud. Oh, nice. Right? That's great. Are you guys still under the same roof? No, no, no, no, no. He would just say that, just to say that, because he wanted to exert dominance
Starting point is 00:23:25 Okay, I thought you were still like charging into a room That was in the past. He would enter my space. Yes, then he would be like, babe, where's my spaghetti? He would do things like that and And do the jingle and chain dance. Was that for a giggle inside or was that some way of saying please don't leave? Were you grasping at? This is all lies. I wanna say this to you now. What part to lie? I have no idea what you're saying. The babe might, where's my spaghetti part?
Starting point is 00:23:48 Yeah, I never said that. But could I say this? Real quick, because I just had an instinctual thing to say something. Okay, yeah. I think you're the future. And I wanna, you. And I wanna say that when I get old,
Starting point is 00:24:06 my business is not going well, my career is going down, I need kids like you to bring me back up. In what way? Just have me on your pod and try to keep my name alive. I have. Give me your, put your hand out. Yeah, yeah, of course. I can touch you now. Okay.
Starting point is 00:24:21 And what I want to say to you is that I anoint you, Padawan, and I anoint you, future king, and I anoint you, a man who is gonna spread the Lee message throughout the history of time. Amen and God bless. Wow, first time that's happened. Yeah, I know it's your first anointing. You've never, I've never had a Padawan. It means the world because I just, I know it. It's your first anointing? You've never, I've never had a padawan. It means the world, because I just, I know you've been down this journey before and I know that the things that I can learn from you
Starting point is 00:24:51 can't be taught in schools. It can't be taught in schools now. It can't be taught now or ever, you know what I mean? But you learn by watching. And I'll watch you. And you watch and learn. You don't watch? No, I'll watch you any time.
Starting point is 00:25:02 Yeah, yeah, watch me do what? Anything. Okay. There are things, yeah, watch me do what? Anything. Okay. Yeah. There are things, why are you moving, dude? Please. Okay, dude. Do I jump in as a sidewalk?
Starting point is 00:25:10 No, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, now you've got my guy. Hey, dude! Dude, we're working here, man! If you're going to come in and take pictures of us while we're working. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. I don't go to your job, and you know what I mean, whatever, whatever. You know what I mean, whatever they say. Okay, so anyway, stop.
Starting point is 00:25:18 And then what, can I throw out like a... Back up though. Okay. Yeah, yeah. Throw out whatever you want. Okay. You know what I mean? Whatever, whatever. You know what I mean? Whatever they say. Okay? So anyway, stop. Can I throw out like a...
Starting point is 00:25:27 Back up though. Yeah, yeah. Throw out what? I was just gonna throw out something pretty degrading. Yeah, say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I love it. Feel terrible. You fucking, go ahead, you fucking.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Idiot? No, no, go even, what does it look like? Like the dumbest person? No, no, no, you albino gorilla. Look at him, he's a gorilla, look gorilla his arms. Can I just ask one question you have any? African American in you at all okay? Whoa dude that was fucking heavy to I didn't want to throw That's something that I would I wouldn't do that did not want to throw a grill out there because of that You know I would never do it if you there was okay. No, but I don't know yeah
Starting point is 00:26:01 Yeah, if I cut that reference up you're the one that made that connection. Cut that out. Now I can't even do the gorilla line. Right, so yeah, yeah. My brother's black, so I have to. My point is that you're not really learning right now. Okay. Yeah, yeah, that's not something I would do.
Starting point is 00:26:16 That wouldn't do that. You just do it and then you pay the consequences later. Right? I father did that. Yeah, you never get the fucking facts. Okay. So what else does he look like? Those eyes look like he's like, you never get the fucking facts. Okay. So what else does he look like? Look at his eyes.
Starting point is 00:26:27 Go say something about his eyes. Your eyes are big and dumb. No, no, no. Yeah, yeah. Are they like, you know what I mean, running away from each other? Oh, they're... Yeah, yeah, yeah. God, what are they, running away from each other?
Starting point is 00:26:38 No, no, just something else because how you know they're spread apart. Something better? Something good? Something better about the eyes. Go ahead. And their... Fish. Fish eyes. No, no, she just said it. Okay. apart good it's something better about the eyes go ahead and they're fish no no she just said it okay and no one say that you do it go ahead anything yeah but his eyes your eyes are running away from each other and they're already good
Starting point is 00:26:55 dude you know what I like the way you put them together okay thank you that was really bright yeah they're very that's why people stealing from minority I know again and I can make it in your own put it like it's my joke. Yeah, yeah. Gotcha. Um, do you, do you, are you a Nickelodeon kid? I forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. I was there with Dan Schneider. No, no, no, be real. How did you get your start? Uh, I moved out. So I was in, okay, the very start, the inception. I was born in Las Vegas, Nevada. Oh my God. You're a Vegas kid? If that's okay. Yeah. And then my mom met a guy on eHarmony, similar to you in the field,
Starting point is 00:27:27 but she was like probably agent zero. And they started dating, they met up three times, he flew out to Vegas, he proposed on one knee during happy hour at a Margaritaville. And then we- The Jimmy Buffet one? Yep, yes, the one that's being closed right now. Can we talk about Margaritaville, please? No, yes, yes, man. The one that's being closed right now. Stop, stop, can we talk about Markov and Fred Bill? Please, no, you got it, right?
Starting point is 00:27:48 The bar. Right, I got it. What is it? I've seen it around. Well, it's a song that they turned into a bar. Margaritaville. Yeah. That's all I know about it. Right, so then, it's got green fonts or whatever,
Starting point is 00:28:00 and a yellow. It's got very tropical. Is there like green and yellow in it? You were nailing it. It's like a five-year-old coming up to their mom, like, put a pin on that. OK, so what I remember is it's got green and yellow. And everybody's like, good job, Bobby.
Starting point is 00:28:13 And then he's like, and then we move on? Is that how it usually goes in here? Yeah, exactly. OK, that felt demeaning, and I didn't mean it like that. It's fine. No, I like it. No, you don't. You don't.
Starting point is 00:28:24 See, it's fake. So hey, let me cut that out. So I wouldn't ask about Margaret We're marina. Okay. What do they serve their only margaritas? No, I mean it was a fun place to like dance and drink cuz I lived in Vegas for a couple years and Mexican TV no, okay, but it was on the strip It was on Las Vegas Boulevard and it was just a fun place to get like fucked. They never carted me there because I was like 17. Oh wow, here we go.
Starting point is 00:28:51 Going to Margaritaville. That's where she was proposed to. That is where she was proposed to and then we uprooted our life and moved to South Georgia, town of a thousand. Right when we got there, they had a KKK rally in the town. It was very odd. We stayed there for my foreseeable future,
Starting point is 00:29:07 got into sports and friendship. What's sports, please? I play tennis, if that's OK. Wow. I'm a tennis guy, too. Yeah? Yeah. Weird.
Starting point is 00:29:15 White mirror. I mean, now I'm pickleball adjacent. I know. Ooh. I love pickles. I mean, we could play some time together. As a tennis player though, did you initially think pickleball was a joke?
Starting point is 00:29:29 I did, I scoffed at it in many ways. I looked down upon it, like it was poor and I was rich. But that's a word, that's a very good word. Scoff. Yeah, but I don't know, now I have- That's an old-timey word, so don't ever make fun of my new age because that's an old-timey word. No, no, no, you felt more comfortable
Starting point is 00:29:44 with past references, so I'm trying to throw a couple things in there that make you feel- He knows we're old. age, because that's an old-timey word. No, no, no, you felt more comfortable with past references, so I'm trying to throw a couple things in there. He knows we're old. No, you guys aren't old. I think, I mean, I think you're young-ish. Almost 40, yeah. Yeah. And then we, okay, what's the timeline?
Starting point is 00:29:57 Oh, I went to college for a girl. I was supposed to go up to UPenn to do college. Instead, I stayed back for a girl, played a year of tennis. She was my high school sweetheart. We broke up. I moved to LA, where I lived in a two-bedroom apartment. Why'd you come to LA? I came for a TV film. Yeah. So you wanted to be an actor? Correct. Did it work out? I mean I'm young so I hope so. I don't think so.
Starting point is 00:30:21 I don't think so. This is my opinion. I'm kidding. I don't think it ever will. No, I think it will. No, no, no. Keep going. Oh, so I live in a two bedroom apartment, nine square feet, 10 guys living in it that I didn't know. Um, I'm living there, eating dollar store food every day, watching tiger belly, trying to figure out how to survive. Uh, one thing leads to another. This middle aged man moves in. We're sharing a bunk bed. I think he's going to murder all of us in the middle of the night. We moved to a three-bedroom apartment Jared
Starting point is 00:30:48 Who I do the podcast with now we share a room get really close. So yeah podcasts. I like I'm here Yeah, he's good. God. What a guy what a man. What a man. What a guy You know, he he's one of those guys that like you never think we get the women, but he doesn't. And he does it through sheer likeability is likeability. I think he breaks them down. I think he gets them when they're vulnerable. So he'll find them right after a breakup or at the end of a relationship that's not going well,
Starting point is 00:31:18 and he'll sneak in, he'll throw the Peter around. I heard it's not bad. This is a safe space. You can tell me what you don't like about Jared. What I don't like is just, he has this, yeah, there he is. Well is he a guy then who loves the role of being rebound? Oh yeah, yeah, he'll go in there. He'll sneak through anything.
Starting point is 00:31:35 But he is cute. You have to meet him. And also when I met him, he didn't look like that. No, no, no beard. He changed his whole thing. He looks cool. He changed everything. Yeah, he looks cool there.
Starting point is 00:31:44 Thank you. Before when I met him, I'm like, oh my God, are you gonna shoot looks cool. He changed everything. Yeah, he looks cool there. Thank you. Before when I met him I'm like, oh my God, are you gonna shoot up a school? I mean, I'd put that in there, but my point is that he looked like he was unhinged almost. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, he'll take any opportunity he can with the women.
Starting point is 00:31:56 But he looks great now. I mean, if that's what he's rolling with, then you know. I feel like you guys have risen since I last saw you. Risen in what kind of way? Is the podcast more popular? It's been doing okay as of recent. I think it's on a downward trajectory as of now. All podcasts are, to be honest with you.
Starting point is 00:32:12 And also, you know, we have an old saying here. What is it? Just stop. No, no, no. We have an old saying here. What is it? See, that's what he looked like. See, that one, I...
Starting point is 00:32:22 Oh, wow. That's so different. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's who I met. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's who I met. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. To that. See what happened, success.
Starting point is 00:32:29 He grew. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, I'm gonna eat more meat or whatever. Yeah. I think also he just, it seems like he just grew into his manliness. Yeah. Because he looks like a boy in that picture.
Starting point is 00:32:40 He's all toothed right there, look at that. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That is something that we do bring up a lot. We do call him Bailey Beaver. Yeah. Because of his last name, but we don't mean it. It's an evil large teeth like that, I would strongly recommend you whiten them.
Starting point is 00:32:58 They are white. No, they have a yellow hue, maybe it's a shirt. Can I say something, if I see a guy with impeccable veneers that are too white, it's an ick. It's not an ick for me. It's an absolute ick for me. It's a win for me. No, I need some character.
Starting point is 00:33:12 I need a little bit of a gap and a little bit of jagged tooth, maybe a little bit of crowding on the bottom. So cute. You're looking for a stepdad. Yeah, maybe. There's a lot out there. Yeah, I'm looking for toothless. I'm looking for someone who's just so down and out.
Starting point is 00:33:24 Well, that's why you like me? You like me? Yeah, you owe me a nine teeth out there. Yeah, I'm looking for toothless. I'm looking for someone who's still down and out. Well, that's why you like me? You like me? Yeah, you only had nine teeth. I was like, I'm in. Give me those nine teeth. Yeah, it's strange. I don't want that to be out there. People already know. Yeah, people know.
Starting point is 00:33:35 Everyone knows. Do you only have nine teeth at one point? No, no, no, I still don't. But my point is, yeah, yeah. He still only has nine teeth. Yeah, so my point is, I'm afraid that they're gonna be like, well, because people listen to these, that's what sucks about dating,
Starting point is 00:33:48 is you have all this information out there that you say, what's wrong? Oh, I just know, is this a real picture? I can't help that. Zoom in, zoom in, zoom in, zoom in. Is that you? Yeah, that's me. It is him. Why are the teeth so different?
Starting point is 00:34:06 Yeah, I was doing a sketch, those are fucking. Yeah, those are fake teeth. I was like, bro. Dude, what the fuck, dude? I was like, your teeth look great. No, no, no, no. Actually, I still have those fake teeth because you brought them back. Yeah, yeah, I have those fake teeth. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:34:16 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, can you, the hair, oh my God. What are you doing? I just see what you guys got here. You got a little knickknack. Do you like perfect teeth on women? Like, what's the deal? I mean, if they're all there, I do enjoy it.
Starting point is 00:34:28 If they're not, I won't go looking. Do you like a little, like? That's a good slogan. That's a great slogan. Say it again. I like them if they're all there. If they're not, I won't go looking. I think that's a country-western song.
Starting point is 00:34:42 If they ain't there, I won't go looking. But if they are there, I'm hard as can be. Little girl come and sit on my. Yeah, don't say little girl. Well, we're gonna rewrite the song. You know what I mean? It's a first draft. Yeah, it is, right.
Starting point is 00:34:57 So when you, so you're not dating, but when you go on a date, how many dates does it take for you to go in for a kiss? Oh, first, yeah, of course first date. Yeah, why not? Is that like something? You were looking around as, or do you guys oppose that sentiment?
Starting point is 00:35:11 Yeah, is that like a revelation? I agree. I think you're right. What's the move though? Here's what I, right now, I'm learning different things, and this is the truth. So, one of the signs that I see is, so let's say we're at dinner, put your arms on the table, right? This is the first date and if
Starting point is 00:35:32 somebody's doing this, like if I make a joke, because I'm very funny, yeah, if they do that, like if I go, yeah, and that's what the Jew is a calabasas. I don't know. Great punch line. I hate that punch line. You know what I mean? Yeah, that's what the Jew is a calabasas. I don't know. Great punch line. I hate that punch line, you know what I mean? Yeah, that's what the ringworm said. No, don't do that. Yeah, yeah, so laugh, so laugh.
Starting point is 00:35:53 That's what the ringworm said. Like that. If that's, no, you're doing it wrong. Yeah, well I wasn't feeling it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Your eyes doesn't seem like you wanna be here. Well, brother, the girl. Is that how you handle it?
Starting point is 00:36:08 Like the girl's like, your eyes don't look like you want to be here. No, no, no, no. So, with their touching you, right, that's a good sign. But if there's no any kind of physical touch, that means there's no interest at all. That's what I realized. It's mathematics. There are people, or there are men who do not read no interest at all. That's what I realized. It's mathematics.
Starting point is 00:36:25 There are people, or there are men, who do not read social cues at all, who will still go in for the kiss, and it's so fucking awkward, where you're basically pulling away the whole time, and they still think that the goodnight kiss or the goodbye kiss is right around the corner. It's so humiliating.
Starting point is 00:36:42 What do you say? I dodge. You dodge? Oh, yeah. I have no problem saying no. Yeah. Like at this age. Maybe when I was younger, I would have dove in, but.
Starting point is 00:36:51 I got denied from a kiss recently. Can I know if I was in the wrong? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I took this lovely broad to... No. That's good. I think that's a problem. She sounds lovely.
Starting point is 00:37:01 I didn't say that in front of her. That's only for the boys to hear, like you, and half of you. Okay. So I was hanging out with this wonderful woman. I took her to a Lakers game. I like to do things where there's an event happening, conversation, lulls, we got something else to do. The break of silence.
Starting point is 00:37:16 What are the seats? Are there good seats? I mean, they're third row, baby. The podcast is doing fantastic. Wow, okay. That's impressive. Do you see Jack there? Jack?
Starting point is 00:37:26 Oh, Nicholson. He was not there. I think he was getting a colonoscopy or something. I don't know what he was doing. Anyway, so it was approaching New Year's. And Jared was very into the girl's best friend. And we were trying to see if we could set him up for a New Year's kiss, something sweet, something innocent.
Starting point is 00:37:43 And I was like, all right, here's a code word. You talk to the girl, I'll talk to Jared. If they both seem like they wanna kiss each other, we'll have a code word for each other, say it's pineapple. And then we're on- Which I learned is a very tricky code word because that used to be my safe word. Until.
Starting point is 00:37:57 Until, it's a swinger's thing. Oh, is it? Yeah, pineapple is like the universal sign for swinger's. They can't take pineapple. They took pineapples. The swinger's, come up with a different word please dude they took they literally I'm a granite pomegranate they won't back down from pineapple it's
Starting point is 00:38:12 there okay fine okay and then okay sorry about that no no no you're okay I love you so mad no I get it that's a great fruit so we're coming back in an uber and we're like still talking about that situation and then I look at her I was like well if we happen to have a first kiss Do we need a safe word or do you know word to like integrate it and she's like flirting back? She's like let me think what about like dragon and then and then I'm like okay She definitely wants to kiss me on New Year's because she just gave me a word like of course the banter is going well We're experiencing life together to the fullest we get out. I take her to her car.
Starting point is 00:38:46 She's sitting there. She's looking in my eyes, moonlit. I don't know if I brought that up, but the sun was not out. So I'm looking at her and I'm just, she's about to leave. And I say, hey, you know, I can't wait to get Jared and her together. I was like, wait, what was our code word again? In case we want to kiss.
Starting point is 00:39:02 And then she says, oh, it was dragon. I'm like, that, that's what it was. Then I like leaned in and she goes, and then she says oh it was dragon I'm like that that's what it was then I like leaned in she goes and she laughs and closed the door and I was like oh oh wait she didn't say dragon no she did say dragon little pickup artist and then I was like oh I guess you said it so now we have to yeah I went in for a kiss and then she laughed and closed the door in front of me I just wanted to know if like I read the signals wrong but you did she laughs but it's not like you went in hard either Oh brother. I was how hard you have to go. Yeah, I mean I was Osama bin long were those lips
Starting point is 00:39:31 I was going in like seal team Scoping out each clear and I was heading there But I really was you're really a good pattern one, but um okay, so Okay, so this is the head okay? That's the head how far were the head? I'm gonna show you how fast I go in. Yeah. Okay. Why are your eyes so open, brother? Oh, I should close, wait, wait. I'll take your right hand.
Starting point is 00:39:54 Sure, close it. So creepy. Boy, that's low. You're like that one bachelor, Matt James, who kissed all of the bachelorettes with his eyes open. I'm gonna use this as a prop. Don't round eye her while you're going in. I'm not gonna round eye her. This is great, this is great, his eyes open. I'm gonna use this as a prop. Don't round eye her while you're going in. I'm not gonna round eye her.
Starting point is 00:40:05 This is great, this is great, this is great. I'm learning, all right? So you know what I mean? Yeah. So this is how, so you're saying close my eyes? I would. At least halfway there, start closing. Can I be?
Starting point is 00:40:19 Yours got bigger as you went in. Can I be more stony about it? You don't wanna miss a thing. Is this good? It's less stony more sleepy. I think maybe just have yours regularly open and it's totally fine. How about that? Yeah now you're good. Oh just the noble then. That's what I was doing before! As you get closer. As you're getting closer then we start to shut. Oh as I close as I get closer shot. Yeah, thank you so much You were doing wrong as you get cross-eyed the closer you
Starting point is 00:40:48 Me too me too. Yeah, you definitely you So uh Okay, ah you sit close, but no just your face said something smells bad. Oh, okay Wait, sorry Oh Oh, OK. I'll just run out. Yeah. All right. Wait. Sorry. Oh. Oh, OK. That's not bad. That's not bad.
Starting point is 00:41:08 Yeah, that's not bad. Pretty good? Yeah, yeah. If I was an estrogen human, I think I'd like that. OK, that was good. Yeah. Right? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:41:13 Not bad. The speed was good? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. The speed was good. I think it all depends on the banter beforehand, whether you lean in for that. I mean, obviously, I'm not one to say that,
Starting point is 00:41:22 because mine was terrible. But yeah. I don't think your situation, it's not like you read it wrong. I think you just, it was 50 50. He took a chance. You rolled the dice. Yeah. And it was, it was a no, but that's not that didn't read as awkward. We did end up kissing later on a later date. Yeah. But it was just that time that was, that was odd. Say it.
Starting point is 00:41:42 No, I want to talk about, you know, when I get, when you get nervous, do you ever get That was odd. Say it. No, I was just talking about, you know, when you get nervous, do you ever get nervous at dates? No, not particularly. Ever. What? No.
Starting point is 00:41:57 That's how confident you are? It's not even a confidence thing. I don't know, I've never, I've been blessed with never having any type of social anxiety. So I kind of just go in, okay. I don't think that I'm doing well. Like if I know it's going bad, I can rationalize like, I'm absolutely bombing this.
Starting point is 00:42:14 But I'm never like, I'm nervous. I'm just like, okay, this is life. How quickly does it leave your head? You're driving home, you're like, wow, I got rejected. Does it like leave your system that night or are you still thinking about it the days after? I'm probably thinking about what I did wrong so I can improve and the next OS that I put out next year is gonna be a little bit better, just, you know what I mean? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:42:39 What I've been doing lately is I've been like, because I date so many young girls, I confuse history with some of them. You know what I mean? Like, she'll say something, I go, oh, like when your sister went to Columbia University and that thing happened, she's like, my sister didn't, I don't have a sister.
Starting point is 00:42:51 Wrong girl. And I go, oh, I know, I know, I know. I get nervous, you know? But the other night I got nervous, so this is what happened, Saturday night, I was at the Comedy Store, and I see Britney Furlong. Right. And then I see Tommy Lee, the drummer from Miley Cyrus.
Starting point is 00:43:09 And I had met him already so I go, hey Tommy, and then I see John Travolta next to him. And he goes, hello there. And I go, he goes, hello there. And Tommy kinda gives me a side hug and I go to John and I go, hi, my name is Bobby. And he goes, oh, hello. I go, you're John Travolta.
Starting point is 00:43:29 And he's like. Because I wanted him to go, my name is John. Because I was waiting for that. But then I realized, oh, obviously, everyone knows it's John Travolta. So then I had to fill in that gap. So I go, I kid you're John Travolta. You know what I mean? And they got really weird. And then here's what's sad.
Starting point is 00:43:47 I gotta say the saddest part about it. So Stephen Fury, we love him. Don't we? You know Stephen Fury? One of the best young comics in the world. He used to open for me. I think he's got a bright future ahead of him and I love him. So he, you know, it's his show. So he invites Brittany Schmidt, Brittany Furlong. So, Brittany Furlong. So then Brittany Furlong brings Tommy Lee, John Travolta, and John Travolta's family. Wow, okay.
Starting point is 00:44:10 But no one shows up to the show in the Belly Room. No one else. No, so they all went up there, sat down, and then the manager's like, yeah, is this not enough people to- Oh no. They just skipped the whole show. Do the show, right?
Starting point is 00:44:25 So then Stephen Fiery goes, had to tell everyone like, no show. And he ran to his car. You could see him running down the street and just driving home in shame. And I laughed so hard. Anyway, that was Saturday. I thought the story was going to be more John Travolta heavy.
Starting point is 00:44:42 No, no, it was, I liked to see, and I called him Steve the next day, and I go, dude, that was so painful, but dude, thank you so much for that. And he goes, dude, I got so drunk last night, I know, dude, it was so painful, and I lived through you, and I just have empathy, but thanks for the laughs.
Starting point is 00:44:59 And I hung up, it was great. He might be playing my dad in a movie coming out. John Travolta? Yeah. Really? Super nice guy. No, no, seems like a nice guy. But we'll have to get you in there
Starting point is 00:45:09 just to make amends of this situation. No, there's no amends. I didn't do anything wrong. I think he walked away from the situation, he was like, oh, that little jolly little Asian guy. That was pleasant. Because that was nice to his family too. I turned to his family, I bowed.
Starting point is 00:45:22 You bowed. Yeah, I went, oh, I don't know, I get nervous, but my point is that it's so funny because you grew up with someone like John Travolta, right? And you have all these opinions and these are things, but then when you actually meet somebody like that, you're just like, it's just like, you know, it's cool. But isn't it crazy that like, you know you texted me on Saturday
Starting point is 00:45:40 and you're like, I met John Travolta. Yeah, don't you say that! Why? It makes me feel like a fanboy, but I am! No, but it was cute, I was like, I'm a bitch! I was like, I met John Travolta. Yeah, don't you say that. Why? It makes me feel like a fanboy, but I am. No, but it was cute. I was like, oh my god. And then Jules was right next to me, my 22-year-old niece. And I was like, dude, Bobby just met John Travolta.
Starting point is 00:45:53 She's like, who's that? Oh. Oh. That's not what I'm owing about. I want Jules on my podcast so bad. Oh, you all you want She is the light of my life. Anytime I see anything of her it brightens my day to the fullest I'm not even joking. I think she's the funniest person I've ever seen. She's gonna hate being there, but I would love that
Starting point is 00:46:15 That's exactly what I want. I don't want her coming in like I'm gonna have a good time I want to come in like this is gonna suck and like that's the jewels. I know yes, you like her that much I think she's so she's a sweetheart. I think she that much? I think she's so funny. She's a sweetheart. I think she's hilarious, yeah. And she's hilarious, she's a sweetheart, and she's like my daughter. And you know what, quite frankly, yes. I wasn't looking to inseminate her, but.
Starting point is 00:46:33 She won't do it without my approval. Or like watching? No, she won't do it unless you ask me first. Okay, I don't want to, if that's okay. You're not gonna ask me to get Jules? On the pod? Oh, I thought you meant have sex with her, I don't know why. No, what the fuck, I'm talking to, what? Well, you can know that I was like, I's okay. You're not gonna ask me to hack at Jules? On the pod? Oh, I thought you meant have sex with her. I don't know why.
Starting point is 00:46:45 No, what the fuck am I talking about? What? Well, you can know that I was like, I'm okay. I was so respectful. I thought you wanted me to bend her over a sink. I didn't know. Why? I'm just saying that I wasn't going to.
Starting point is 00:46:57 Can we back up for a second, dude? I thought I was telling you I wasn't going to. I think you're reading me wrong today. Yes, I do too. I don't think there's a connection right now. I believe that. I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry. What is going on here, dude?
Starting point is 00:47:08 All right, so let's reframe. I'm so sorry. That's okay. Let's reframe, everyone. That's okay. You know, everything's great, okay? So yes, I fangirled over John. Have you fangirled over anybody?
Starting point is 00:47:20 If I saw my dad, I'm sure I'd freak out. Oh, because he abandoned you. Not abandoned, he just went elsewhere. Where'd he go? Kentucky. When was the last time you saw him? It's been a year or two. Are you sad?
Starting point is 00:47:33 Yeah, of course. Yeah, he doesn't call you that often? Not that often, no. Does he like you? I think he's battling his own demons post-war. What war? Desert Storm? Yeah, he was military 30 years, colonel.
Starting point is 00:47:47 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, Captain Justice. Captain Justice, yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. And how many kids does he have? He has four. Oh, same mother? Not that we know of, but yeah, no.
Starting point is 00:48:01 No one else, what? My mom is the only one that birthed me, correct. Oh, okay. Okay, yeah. So I sit, no. No one, what? My mom is the only one that birthed me, correct. Oh, okay. Okay, so I sit, okay. And then he had babies with another woman too, then obviously? Yeah. Several other women? I think we have even more siblings out there.
Starting point is 00:48:15 Wow. He spent a lot of time in Guam, he spent a lot of time in Qatar. Oh, so you have like possibly half Asian siblings. I mean, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Well, welcome. Thank mean, you know? Yeah. Well, welcome. Thank you.
Starting point is 00:48:27 It means a lot. Yeah, you have to, um, he likes to, you know, spill a seed. Oh, yeah, yeah. He'll fill anything up if we let him. So sex has taken a back seat in your life? Yeah, I, uh, okay, so I have a urinary issue and I used to pee. I know. Hey, listen.
Starting point is 00:48:42 I used to pee 10 to 12 times during the night. Oh, you attract infection? No, no, no. It wasn't that. It was just I guess my bladder really doesn't matter. That was the end result. And then they started to give me these pills and apparently delayed ejaculation. So I could be having sex for an hour, hour and a half. Nothing happens. Yeah. Can't even masturbate anymore. What's causing the frequent urination though?
Starting point is 00:49:08 Just like, so apparently people's muscles contract at 150 milliliters and mine do 150 milliliters. I went in and an elderly woman in her eighties held my penis and put a catheter in there and filled it up and they decreased it. I would rather tear my ACL again than go through that. So basically it's because it's a reflex, right? The brain to the bladder. So you're saying it sends a signal to your brain
Starting point is 00:49:29 a little too soon when only half of the bladder is full. Or even, I mean, I've went to go liquid, came back, laid down, had to get right back up again. And it's like a full stream. We're not sitting there with dribbles. And it's not anxiety related, because when I'm super anxious, I can usually like, I have to pee like every hour,
Starting point is 00:49:48 but it's more of an obsessive thing. Yeah, it's not even, it's something I don't wanna do, but yeah, it just comes out and it's like, I can't fall asleep because I have this urge to not pee in the bed. Really? Yes sir. Amazing. Are you listening to anything?
Starting point is 00:50:04 I think I tuned out for a second. That's okay. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know what's going on, but that's some good stuff. When you wait out, when you wait out in your head, it's more important that you are not being 10 times a day versus delayed ejaculation. You've waited out.
Starting point is 00:50:19 I don't wait. I don't have a choice on either. Okay. Oh yeah. I'd rather. I don't know. I just know I'm not, I'm not coming. Oh no. Okay. Oh, yeah, I'd rather I don't know. I just know I'm not I'm not coming. Oh no. Anyway, welcome to most girls life. Thank you. Yeah. Oops. It's nice to be here. So, so yeah, we good? Are you? Did you have an antero? What's going on? Did you take your ateral? Yeah, yeah, I did take it, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:50:45 Yeah. Because they ran out, so I'm, put your hand here. They usually, so this is what happens. I usually have Ritalin to get me focused. Okay. And it's been out for like a week, and then today, this morning, I just got an announcement that they came,
Starting point is 00:50:59 so in between pods, I'm gonna go to the CVS and get it. What do you guys have next? I don't remember. Sam Morel. Sam Morel. Okay, fine. You know him? No. Oh, I just, God bless you. But yeah, Sam Morel, and then, but I'm gonna go get some Riddell and then come back.
Starting point is 00:51:13 But I think that this, I like this podcast because you and I are kind of on the same kind of frequency. Yeah. God, I love you so much. You never called me though, huh? I actually have hit you up several times to come back on the podcast, you never answered. I would do it once, huh? I actually have hit you up several times to come back on the podcast you never answered I would do it once huh I usually do podcasts one time but on the podcast only because you said it out live on air You said I come back every year on the day
Starting point is 00:51:34 Yeah, I lied. Yeah, I'm a liar to our fan base has just been like hey the Bobby up So it's come come out in November. Yeah, so the only one I've done probably more than once is Rachel Billsons Oh the classic Rachel Billson podcast. I love her. Yeah, and then who else? ours Rick Glassman yeah, yeah, of course ours Oh Trash Tuesday. Yeah, she has yeah, but you know, you know, I've never been on whiskey ginger No, you have you have yeah Early on yeah, cuz every dad I mean, but we I have? Because I have? Oh, god. Some old times, early on. Early on, yeah. But we've done, we see each other every week.
Starting point is 00:52:08 Anyway, do you ever feel burnt out from it? You're out here just talking all day, every day? Well, I do get, thank you for even asking me that right now. Thank you so much. Yeah, I do get burnt out, quite frankly. And there's a lot of times I don't even know what to say. Like, you know, I want to get engaged, but I also want to be silly.
Starting point is 00:52:24 And sometimes I get lost. and that's why I have Kaililah here and Gilbert and George are here to help me. But yeah, I mean, it's a lot of talking. It is. And it's a lot of like, I mean, do you run into that or no? Yeah, I mean, somewhat. I mean, I think we have a pretty good cast
Starting point is 00:52:42 in that everyone's kind of doing something, and then I think I'm similar to you in the sense of My brain kind of goes just off the rocker and I kind of have to spread everything out And I don't know I make fun of and bring people together and do all that fun stuff To keep it exciting and moving but yeah I know what you mean But when you have to carry it and keep on going and then you so I mean sometimes yeah We just pause and sit there and just kind of look at each other
Starting point is 00:53:06 Yeah, yeah, this is the worst thing we've ever made in our entire life. Yeah. Yeah, or we say things like we can't put this out Yeah, we know that every week when we first start we have a good Have you ever had a guess what was hard? Oh? Yeah, oh, yeah, one word answers. I know those are the worst. I think well actually I thought you were great on ours I hated my interview with you. Why? Like my personal self. Why?
Starting point is 00:53:29 I think I was watching you and watching everybody throughout the years. I think I was just trying overly to be funny and like make an impression. Does that make sense? Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. When I did Rogan a couple of months ago, thank you. I remember driving there going, don't try, don't try because
Starting point is 00:53:48 it's gonna read desperate right and just listen you know I mean it's a lot of times especially when you're a guest it's like a higher profile thing you can't you know I mean you can't try to be funny you can't try to be informative or knowledgeable you just got to be yourself and listen and so so, you know, because at the end of the day, sometimes we have off days. You know what I'm saying, Zach, right? I got off days every day. Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:13 Every other day, if I'm lucky. But no, especially going on other people's podcasts, this is the first time, like even this audience is gonna see me and there's gonna be several people that are like, this guy sucks. And it's like, you don't even know if you're coming off as your authentic self. You're just trying to come here. It's like And it's like, you don't even know if you're coming off as your authentic self. You're just trying to come here,
Starting point is 00:54:26 it's like you talk to people you don't really know, but like we try to create this chemistry, which I mean I think we have. We have it now. Already, no dude, you remind me of a kid that I would have. If like, if we had a son, it'd be this guy. You think? Yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 00:54:40 Handsome kinda, but also kinda a little dark, also, I mean he can't go everywhere, you know? Can't go everywhere. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, he can't go everywhere. You know can't go everywhere Yeah Middle schools out of the question you think if we had a son that he would take on my tall genetics or your short genetics Oh for sure. I mean he'd be taller than me or she Yeah, be telling me they would have Interesting nose long but also fat you know I mean, but you don't have a fat nose. Did we have a long one?
Starting point is 00:55:03 I have a really long one, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you guys ever pick out kids' names? Never. No. Oh yes, we did. What is it? What was it gonna be? Chauncey.
Starting point is 00:55:13 Oh yeah, Chauncey. Oh dude, that'd be- Because it's based on a movie that we both love. Oh my god, I remember! Yeah. Chauncey! Oh, that would've been, you know, can I still use that? Yeah. I don't know what's worse, a miscarriage or like a miscarriage
Starting point is 00:55:27 where you never had a chance to have the baby. Yeah. You mean an abortion? They call them abortions lately. Yeah, but it's not miscarriages. What's post-birth abortion called? Labor. I thought it was just homicide.
Starting point is 00:55:42 Homicide is murder. OK. Yeah. That's very funny. Don't announce it. I like it. No. Homicide is murder. Yeah, yeah. That's very funny. Don't announce it. No, no, that's how I know you don't think something's funny. That's funny. Hey, Kaleila.
Starting point is 00:55:56 That's not what happened. What happened was I literally thought it was funny, but it was like a slow punch. So then it hit me in a weird way. Sometimes when you like smoke weed, back in the day when I used to smoke weed, things hit you in a different way, like some weed strands, but it's still good. That's what that was. I've never smoked anything in my life.
Starting point is 00:56:12 If I want to get into it, where do I start? Wait, did you do, do you do edibles? I've never been high. That's it. You kind of keep it that way. No, no, I want to get in some hard. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Please.
Starting point is 00:56:24 Why is that? You said I'm your kid. Yeah, why is that because the struggle you went through only made you that's not no Why haven't you it's so funny you're in your 20s. You haven't fucking done any weed. Have you been drunk? Yeah, you know why he doesn't suffer from social anxiety So you don't need to escape the situation like we did probably like so many times when we were younger like I needed to just like have anything because my anxiety was just so high all the time yeah I don't drink either I'm a very boring person why haven't you because of religion no so why is it because you're allergic to alcohol can I be okay be on you'll be honest is this is I love this this is completely
Starting point is 00:57:01 honest icky taste I don't like the taste that's literally it a beer beer hate the This is completely honest. Icky taste. I don't like the taste. That's literally it. A beer. Beer, hate the taste of any of it. What about like a margarita? Like margarita. And I've been drunk, so on our Patreon,
Starting point is 00:57:15 I was like if we get past a certain milestone, I'll drink on the podcast. That was like one of the, I've been drunk two times in my life. That was one of them. And the entire time, I was just like, I wanna get back to normal. I wanna get back to normal. I wanna get back to normal.
Starting point is 00:57:25 Wow, that's interesting. The other time was an Icohidin resort. A little weirder, but it was fine. Yeah, yeah. And then an edible, why wouldn't you take that? It's legal. It just doesn't interest me. I guess in the same way,
Starting point is 00:57:36 if someone doesn't like Diet Coke, they're just like, hey, I'm not even thinking about Diet Coke. Somebody would have to try Diet Coke before they had an opinion, no? Yeah, I guess, I don't know. I guess it just never interests me. I know, but one time just for interest, they just do it.
Starting point is 00:57:50 Okay, fine. Yeah, in fact, the next time you come on, don't do it until you come back here. Okay, three years I'll be here. No, no, no. In fact, do you have any animals now? Wait, you're a great sober coach. What the fuck?
Starting point is 00:58:00 He's not an addict. You are not. I can be. No, you won't be. Anyone can be, right? Yeah, that's right. Do you have, I'll get you. Alcoholism runs deep in my family. Oh yeah, well then don't do not. I can be. Yeah. No, you won't be. I want to be. Anyone can be, right? Yeah, that's right. Do you have? Alcoholism runs deep in my family. Oh, yeah?
Starting point is 00:58:08 Well, then don't do it. I'm going to do it. No, no, no. Bobby Lee is telling you to do it. No, don't do it. I didn't know that information. No, don't do it. Is it fun?
Starting point is 00:58:14 That's like my co-host, Esther. Alcoholism runs in her family, so she never touches alcohol. That's so interesting to me. Wow. But it's like also like she shouldn't. And I think that she'd probably go off to deep end if she did. I was apparently I was getting like hyper consenty.
Starting point is 00:58:30 I don't know why any girl that I was with I accidentally like would touch her shoulder. I'm like I hope that wasn't weird. And then I would like move on. Well the opposite of other drunk people you mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wish I was more, you know. Yeah, I'm tired of women going,
Starting point is 00:58:43 I'm at a restaurant, they're like, is it okay if I just get a little drink? It's like, don't fucking act, what the what? Yeah, do whatever you wanna do. That's polite though, because they know you're an AA. No, it doesn't matter. It's like, I obviously like live life, like why the fuck, I mean, you know?
Starting point is 00:58:59 Yeah, but I mean like, I never brought alcohol ever into the house when we lived together. There's eight bottles of alcohol in the fucking. Not mine, sir. No, it was given that the Korean rice drink, not mine. No, not that. There's bottles of whiskey in my fucking. Probably brought in here via Tiger Belly, not me.
Starting point is 00:59:16 Okay. Whiskey, I don't even drink whiskey. Yeah, yeah. I drink some whiskey here. Yeah, who brought that? I have Irish whiskey in my fucking thing. That's not me. Anyway, yeah, what's my, what are. That's not me. Anyway, yeah, what's what?
Starting point is 00:59:25 What are you looking at? Nothing. Yeah, yeah. Because I, anyway, yeah, yeah, yeah, so I don't, yeah, no. There's alcohol in my house. Yeah, but I've never brought it. While we were together, I never brought alcohol in the house. I disagree, but let's move on.
Starting point is 00:59:38 That's for now, you're right. Yeah, you're right. This is beautiful. Why? Would that work like this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's beautiful. Why, was that word like this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like a weird therapy where it's like, all right, we're gonna bring in someone you don't know and they're gonna go, watch you guys.
Starting point is 00:59:52 Reconcile. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever. So have you acted in anything yet? Yeah, I did like an Apple TV thing. I just did a horror movie. Oh, so what's the Apple TV thing, tell me. It was called like Best Foot Forward, Very Small Ro thing. I just did a horror movie. So what's the Apple TV thing? Tell me it was calling best foot forward very small role. I'd also did another show in a line couple lines
Starting point is 01:00:09 Yeah, I was like a pizza delivery guy. What was in line? Tell me the line. I don't remember I Couldn't tell you. Okay. Were you nervous? No, okay, and then you have another thing that you just said you said yeah I was in a horror movie Actually, one of my favorite shows ever is Band of Brothers and one of the guys in There played my dad. I thought that was the coolest thing ever. Whoa, that's cool because I love Band of Brothers. Yeah It was just like an indie horror movie who will see if it sees a light of day and did you um And then this one I wrote we're gonna hopefully film in August and what and who's doing? Oh, so you wrote a movie and you got the money and the financing for it? Yeah. Do you have the director who's directing it?
Starting point is 01:00:45 Steve Carr, he did Movie 43, he did. Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, he did Paul Bartmalkop. We got on the call and he's like, you understand what's funny for young people, I know how to make a movie. He's like, I kinda wanna learn from you in this way. And I was like, I wanna learn how to make a movie,
Starting point is 01:00:59 so it was kinda cool. Oh, that's cool. Yeah, yeah. Can I tell you? You can tell me anything. I want to tell you something that happened then that I was gonna bring up, because it's so similar to that.
Starting point is 01:01:11 So I do Logic's movie in Portland. Yes, I remember. And the reason why I did it is because they were like, Kevin Smith is like shadowing him, okay? So I go, well, if it's Logic's first movie, I mean, he's gonna get notes from the master, Kevin Smith, so I'll do it. So I show up and then I was supposed to be the main bad guy.
Starting point is 01:01:31 So it's like a Wednesday. But I'm a little sick, right? And in my mind, I'm like, should I tell them or not? So I go, you know what, I'm gonna tell them. So they had a doctor come over to my hotel and she checked me out and then an hour later, Lodgett calls me and goes, yeah, you can't show up here. So what do I do? They're like, I'm going to give the role to somebody else. I'm in the middle of the, I go, oh, I'm just going to go home. No, he goes,
Starting point is 01:01:56 I got something else I want you to do. So wait three days. So I waited a couple days, like two or three days in Portland, you know what I mean? So I was just shopping, you know what I mean? Ate some meals. And then I finally show up and I'm like, they put me in this kind of, you know, a tracksuit. And I do this improvise scene. There's no fucking Kevin Smith to be found around, right?
Starting point is 01:02:21 Which is fine. So I'm out there and then, you know, I run into the devil himself, Oliver Tree, you know what I mean? You know Oliver Tree? Not personally, but yeah. I'm sitting there next to him and then like, we do this improvise scene with Logic's dad.
Starting point is 01:02:35 And you know how sometimes like, okay, when you're improvising in a movie, right, this is, it works if everyone's listening to each other. Right, so it's just like, you know what I mean? I would say something, so it's me, Logic, his dad, and there's somebody else, and I go, I would say, they go, actually I go, yeah man, but my age, you know what I mean, and then Logic's dad would be like,
Starting point is 01:02:57 I love grapefruits, and then Logic would be like, hey man, look at the sky. I mean, like no one's listening to each other, and so that's what the whole scene's like, okay? So in my mind I was like, hey man, look at the sky. I mean, no one's listening to each other. And so that's what the whole scene's like, okay? So in my mind I was like, oh god, I wish Kevin Smith was here, you know what I mean? So then I go to the airport that night and some guy cuts in front of me.
Starting point is 01:03:15 I'm in line, okay? And I literally went and I looked and he was wearing shorts, right? And I was like, this mother, I have to say something. You know, I'm about boundaries. I'm about boundaries. This guy literally cut in front of me at first class line. Right, and I've been waiting there.
Starting point is 01:03:32 So he excused me, and I pat time to show, it's Kevin Smith. He was there. Yeah, and he goes, what are you doing here? And I go, I just did your movie. He's like, oh, I heard you did a great job. What are you doing here to, I heard you did a great job What are you doing here too? I heard you did a great job. It's insane. He had no clue. Yeah. Yeah Well, I don't know is that what it is a hundred percent
Starting point is 01:03:53 So, you know, did you guys talk after that not really? Then I let him you know go ahead and then like afterwards he goes nice. Okay. Good to see you He was gonna come here to do what he was gonna come with me, but he's Guys Nice to see you. He was gonna come here today too. He was gonna come with me but he was just. I mean, he was a little busy. Guys, in fact, can I just say something? That story I just told you isn't really the truth. I know. There's some lies in there. A lot.
Starting point is 01:04:16 So we can't put that in our own thing. Yeah, we can't put it in. Unless I tell you the direct, real story. Okay. Amendment, amendment to the piece of cake. I'm gonna amend the first story and this is how, because when I'm telling a story, there has to be something.
Starting point is 01:04:28 Yeah. And if I just tell the story outright, right? There's no narrative. There's no narrative. Already, already where I thought was weird is that first class had a line. No, that's, okay, so. You've been waiting there?
Starting point is 01:04:40 Wow, like it's a long wait for first class. All right, all right, let me, you guys- You want the real story. You want the real story now? Give me the real one, Papa. All right, I Wow, like it's a long wait for us. Alright! Alright, let me... Give me the real story. You want the real story now? Give me the real one, Papa. Alright, I show... So that's... All that stuff before was true. Okay. What was true about it is, yes, they didn't want me on set because they didn't want me to get
Starting point is 01:04:55 everyone... Which I completely understand. I waited there for Logic because I love him so much. Oliver True was there, he was a pleasant... And the improv scene was okay. Okay. Actually, it was pretty okay. It was was fun actually. It's in the trailer. Yeah, so my point is that all that stuff was, you know, I mean, kind of true, but. Okay.
Starting point is 01:05:13 So this is what happened, but Kevin Smith wasn't there, right, and Kevin Smith also knew I was in the movie. Okay, so. Why'd you lie before? I don't know, I just tried to make it more exciting. What part was? I don't know, that's why. That's why I exciting. What part was? That's why I'm making an amendment now! Okay, I'm sorry. If there was a dragon thrown at one point, I would've been like... But with that interaction... The improv was actually
Starting point is 01:05:39 okay. I'm glad we fixed that. So here's the deal. So there is no mine, okay, but there is hovering areas. Yes. Right, so they were the children. Military. People that need assistance, you know what I mean? Yeah. You know what I mean, the special ones.
Starting point is 01:05:57 The special ones get to go on first. Yeah. I'm not even using full words, we can't let them get away with this. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You just have to decode. So after a certain group, I know, OK, the next is group one.
Starting point is 01:06:10 So what I do is I start doing a meandering, I want to get on first. So then a woman and a guy cut in front of me and stood in front of me before the announced one. But I was already meandering first. Right? So it's like, I was like, hey, you didn't see me meandering first before frolicking here?
Starting point is 01:06:32 Right? But I didn't say anything. I let them go on, but I was mad, and then when we sat down, I realized it was Kevin Smith and his friend. So he was super excited to see me, he goes, hey dude, and I go, I just did your movie. He's like, I know, I heard you did good.
Starting point is 01:06:50 And that's the story. Is that, now, what's the deal? Hey, thank goodness we cleared that up. So, he had a friend with him. Yes. Okay, okay, okay. Also, Bobby would never tap someone on the shoulder and say excuse me and confront anyone in that way.
Starting point is 01:07:07 Not in this lifetime. That's the part that threw me, and I don't know you super well. I didn't think you were gonna get into the battle. Yeah, it's like when I went to rehab and they would ask me stuff like, tell me about this, and once I would start, they would stop. They would go, stop.
Starting point is 01:07:21 We just want no humor or any exaggeration. We just want the truth. And you know what? I didn't do that here, but that was the truth. Now, let me ask you guys something. What story was better? The first one. I loved the collection of you backtracking
Starting point is 01:07:36 and telling the full thing. I think that adds scope that we don't have to cut it out now. No, we're not going to cut out the first. We're keeping it all in. I'm in now. If I was told just one of the stories, I would've looked at you and said, hey Bob, maybe it's time to hang up the old microphone.
Starting point is 01:07:50 But now that we got both stories and you intertwined it. It's good, it's all good peace. Right, so my instinct is right, the first story is better. More drama. More drama, but if I tell things as is, it's not great. Yeah, but you gotta tell things as is in real life. Do you do that or do you find it hard time?
Starting point is 01:08:14 No. Okay. You're right. He embellishes in real life even, and it's so hard to kind of figure out like what really happened. You're right, you're right, you're right. So unless you're there, you don't know
Starting point is 01:08:24 if what he's saying is 100%. Well, if he's telling me a story because I know him so well, I know which pieces he's likely exaggerating, so I will recreate a version of that story in my own mind. I know this is what really happened, but he needs to tell it this way. It's like, okay, you went to Walmart to get some apples,
Starting point is 01:08:43 but Trump wasn't there. Right, right. Like you have to take a you went to Walmart to get some apples, but Trump wasn't there. Right. Like you have to take out judge. Right, right, right. I had to delete some characters from the story and then be like, okay, this was the truth. The Princess Bride wasn't being reenacted. Right, right.
Starting point is 01:08:52 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, very good reference. What happened to Cary Elwes? Killing it, what are you talking about? He's in everything. Is he in everything now? Yeah, yeah, he's always been in everything. I know, I just had such a crush when I was younger. Here's the thing about Carrie
Starting point is 01:09:05 I always write is and in in the state of television and film there's just so much out there There's so many streaming platforms. They're just there's no way to know what people are doing unless they're in a gigantic thing like Planet of the Apes or you know me the new Ghostbusters if they're in huge Hollywood productions, right? Yeah, so. Why didn't you and your Rat Pack ever get together and make a movie? Like all the podcasters that are obviously. Well, I mean, you know, Shane and Andrew, they get tires.
Starting point is 01:09:34 And then me and Andrew are doing some things. But you're right, I think that. You can almost have an anti-Avengers of superheroes with terrible powers that come together. So tomorrow what I'm doing is, I don't want to holly, I'm a bit stupid, but I wrote a movie with a couple of producer guys, writer guys, and the CA wants to do it.
Starting point is 01:09:57 My agent wants to package it. Hell yeah. And so, what we're talking about for each role is first it's gonna go to people we know. Like Santino, you know, and what we're talking about for each role is first it's gonna go to people we know. Like Santino, you know what I mean? There's probably a bit in there for you, because we haven't read the script. I'm just here, you don't have to say that.
Starting point is 01:10:12 You're right, you're not gonna be in it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know. You're not gonna be in it. I know. Thank you for doing this. Yeah, of course. That's the thing that he does too. All right!
Starting point is 01:10:20 Gilbert, someone back me up, nothing? No ally? In the spirit of truth. Look at the cheese, look at the cheese! I'm like going through all of our podcasts, he's like, hey, you back me up, nothing? No ally? In the spirit of truth. Look at his face, look at his face. I'm like going through all of our podcasts. He's like, hey, you're gonna be in it. Let's be real. You became that old guy in Hollywood
Starting point is 01:10:31 who was like, you wanna be in it? Like that's you now. But Alex, I'm not gonna sniff this picture. I'm good to you, right? Yeah. Well, you told me I wasn't gonna do any voices in your other one. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Starting point is 01:10:41 Did you end up doing voices? No, no. He'll never do voices. Okay. Maybe his eyeballs will do something, but. but if you need a barista, I'm there. Okay. Anyway, you're right That's you know what? I'm gonna cut those things out The two things exaggeration And line and prom and like a kid you're gonna have that. Yeah, you're right It's gross because people hang on to that earlier when you prayed for me
Starting point is 01:11:02 What realm was that in? I? Hang on to that earlier when you prayed for me. What realm was that in? I Prayed for you at the beginning we open with a with a yeah, that's real that was real. Oh the anointment Not a prayer sorry it doesn't feel like anything now now that I know the real Bobby no Don't you're gonna make me mad dude, please When is it have I ever anointed anybody in the history? I don't know anymore. I'm asking you guys. He hasn't, I think you are the white mirror
Starting point is 01:11:33 in a certain way. Yeah, I think there is qualities to you that you would be a fucking paddle onto me. And I'd love to saddle up. All right, so that's my point. Okay. So what are the things you wanna plug? Dropouts.
Starting point is 01:11:48 So abrupt. I don't wanna plug anything. Yeah, I want you to plug. That's what the whole point of this thing is. No, no, not for me. It's to come in here. I love you so much. Make you realize who you are as a human being.
Starting point is 01:12:01 You're doing great, dude. I love you, man. No, you don't, dude. None of this is real. You're lying to me. You're great. I love you, man. No, you don't know this is real You're lying to me you just looking at me lying to me when you say when you say I love you, dude What do you mean by that? You go? I love you in a podcast. What would you mean by that saying to us him? I love you, dude Okay. All right. Nothing. All right. All right, you guys what are you? You guys wanna you guys want to go to reality? Yeah, I will bring back you guys wanna go to reality.
Starting point is 01:12:25 Yeah. I will bring back, let's go to reality, okay. And then I'll add. No, don't add. I'll add, I have to add. Or add now and then I'm gonna add now. One of my biggest qualms in the relationship is that he would only say I love you
Starting point is 01:12:38 when he wanted me to either shut up or get out of a situation. You want me to leave. He wants it to be over. The reality of it is, it's gonna hurt then. That's completely fine. You don't want me to? No, go ahead, just.
Starting point is 01:12:54 All right, so it's gonna hurt. I thought you were. Someone else. No, I thought you were those money guys that I did. What's that money podcast I did? Graham Stephan. Yeah, those guys. The financial channel?
Starting point is 01:13:05 Up until, for some reason, I thought that- Up until right now. No, no, no, no, no. Up until I thought we were gonna do the podcast, I literally thought it was them, until I saw you walk up, I go, oh yeah, right? In my mind. He thought you were this guy.
Starting point is 01:13:19 Yeah, that guy. Really? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The same- No, I thought that he was coming today. Yeah. Right? Until you walked up and I go, oh fuck, I love this guy, oh, I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.
Starting point is 01:13:27 I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.
Starting point is 01:13:34 I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that.
Starting point is 01:13:40 I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I'm not gonna do that. I kind of Googled you and stuff and looked to see, you know what I mean? Yeah. You said we wanted the truth. We wanted the truth, yes. This is good.
Starting point is 01:13:48 This is good practice. And so here's another truth then. I do love you and I love you in this way. Even when I did your podcast a year ago or whatever, I remembered you and I remember walking away, I'm like, that guy is crazy. I like that guy, right? And I was always, so as a podcaster and stuff, I do love you.
Starting point is 01:14:08 Now as a person, I don't know you that well. Yeah, so now, is the truth hurt, or is that better? That's way better. That's way better. How have you felt this time with me has gone? Like if you're being honest, like it's- All right, you wanna play the game? Let's play the game.
Starting point is 01:14:27 You know I'm being fully honest, right? For honest, I mean, okay. So the things that I've been thinking about this whole podcast is, wow, there's so many similarities in the way you do things, right? And it's almost hard for me to do podcasts with somebody that's like me,
Starting point is 01:14:45 because you need somebody that's a little bit more grounded and insane almost, right? So. I think we're both in the way on our individual podcasts where we come out of left field, and we're trying to take over in such a way where it's like, I bet nobody's ever heard that before. So then I had, there are moments in this podcast
Starting point is 01:15:04 where I've had to just back out and just kind of were moments in this podcast where I've had to like, just back out and just kind of completely detach. That's what I've tried to do. Because I noticed we were both trying to do it. And I thought you, I was like, this is his show. I can't go crazy. I gotta be the straight man here. Okay, so that's literally the truth.
Starting point is 01:15:18 Okay, love this fourth wall stuff. But I also, yeah, I mean, I don't think no one wants to listen to it. No, no, I love it. I'm being honest. But people listening in the fucking, think no one wants to listen to it. No, no, I love it. I'm being honest. I know, but people listening in the fucking, out in the world maybe.
Starting point is 01:15:27 That's good. Yeah, they do. So that's the real truth of it all. So you take it the way, but do I like you? I do. Do I love you as a person? If you died, I'd be super sad. No, you wouldn't. No, I would be sad, but I wouldn't cry.
Starting point is 01:15:40 But it wouldn't show, it'd take you days to figure it out. Nobody would call you soon. No, I wouldn't. Oh, immediately these guys would call. like oh, yeah, is that that money guy from that one podcast? Oh, dude Next week's episode Yeah, it's lasting we'll ever seen him it but no I would be super sad if you died. So is that good? Yeah, that's good Let's be honest. Now. How do you feel about me? I I think um, I Think you have a joy to you that I that I really enjoy I don't know if you fully feel it yourself, but I know when you're in a room the people around you feel better
Starting point is 01:16:13 And that's like really nice Like I'm genuinely. Thank you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know if you feel that about yourself I don't know if you don't internalize that I don't think you do But anytime I see you on video or even in this room, you can tell like the people in here really care about you and you're nice to them. He doesn't right now. We're in a little bit of a tussle. We have a tussle him and I, we have a problem. I get it. And we may, you know,
Starting point is 01:16:39 we got to, we got to resolve this. What is, what is the tussle? I can't, we can't even talk about it out loud. It was honestly like a minor scheduling thing. It's not a minor thing. It's not that big of a deal. It's a big deal. But it's very big in Bobby's head, and it's very, but it's minor. All right, can we talk about it?
Starting point is 01:16:58 Yeah. Yes, let's talk about it. You don't talk about it? No, I think this is- I'll defend myself. Please do. There's no way to defend yourself. Oh, motherfucker.
Starting point is 01:17:06 I have the resistance. You didn't text me back about... I gave you dates. I gave you dates. He has screenshots. He didn't text me back to confirm anything. Be careful. So then, since you didn't confirm anything, I went through somebody else who reached out.
Starting point is 01:17:18 I gave them. They left me. Like, they ghosted me. Both people ghosted me. You're the one that's closer. You should be getting back to me. Now, here's the difference I trust you to get back to me when it's important on text messages
Starting point is 01:17:29 Even though you do ignore a lot of them this one you went back to your old ignoring ways It is my fault. It's a little insured George. It's not what it is. He's about to piss me off right now. Okay Okay, let's tussle it out. Okay. No, I want to end it. I Want to end it? No, okay. We'll do it. You Let's tussle it out, guys. Schedule it with you. Okay, go ahead. No, no, I wanna end it. I wanna end it. No, okay, we'll do it. You wanna tussle it out? Yeah.
Starting point is 01:17:50 Okay, so. We'll be the referees. You'll be the referee. Yeah. So I did a movie with J. Moore. J. Moore's a guy, I used to open for him way back in the day. And he's one of those guys like Pauly
Starting point is 01:18:04 and some of these guys that have always tried to help me. And when I did the movie with Jay, Sweet Dreams, it just kind of rekindled something between us. And we're both sober guys. And he's outwardly like that, so I can say that. And so you had just seen Jerry Maguire again. You go, he's a great actor. He's so great in that movie.
Starting point is 01:18:27 And I go, you're right. So we both decided, let's get Jay on Tiger Bell. Because we've never had him. And also like Picture Perfect with Jennifer Aniston. One of my favorites. He's so endearing in that one. So I personally text Jay and I go, hey dude. And I called George, I go, give me a date.
Starting point is 01:18:43 You said June, what a June? Today. Today. Today, right? So today, right? And I go, and I, and I, and I, and Jay. But he's writing notes like it's a debate. Yeah, and then, and then, and then Jay goes, and then Jay goes.
Starting point is 01:18:54 No, I'm just texting the screenshots to Kalyla, so. So then Jay goes, then Jay goes, yeah, all right, yeah, that date, right? Oh, this is information I never got. That's not true, that's absolutely not true. How would you, if I didn't tell you that fucking Jay Moore wasn't doing today, how would that even be in your fucking world of it?
Starting point is 01:19:16 No, I offered dates, he texted you, yes, you never relayed that to me. I told you, hey, I'm taking back this one date for J more please let me know confirm and then I said then after the booker oh my god oh my god you want receipts let's go to a here's here's no no the truth is then he then he tells me he goes yo J more can't do those dates the booker told no me. No, no, there is no Booker. Yeah, that's. There is no Booker. That's everyone listening right now.
Starting point is 01:19:49 Are you following? Are you following? I'm caught up, but I. Right, right, right, so he calls me and goes, out of nowhere. He feels like he's kind of, okay. Out of nowhere he goes, yo, Jay Moore can't do that date.
Starting point is 01:19:57 So he's obviously knows about the date, George, right? He tells me, Jay Moore can't do the date. I try to offer him other dates. You know what I mean? His publicist or his rep said he's busy. So what else? And I go, in my mind I'm like, oh, well, fuck.
Starting point is 01:20:14 I thought maybe Jay lied that he could do it. So I just, I go, yeah, go ahead then, whatever. You know what I mean? If you're giving me that information that Jay's people said that he can't do it, what else is there to do? Right, because I'm not gonna call then Jay go, hey what happened? I'm not desperate in that way, right?
Starting point is 01:20:32 I let it go. So then yesterday Jay calls me and goes, what time tomorrow? Right? And I go, what do you mean dude? I mean, your people. He goes, what people? And I go, your publicist. He goes. I don't have a publicist
Starting point is 01:20:49 So I call him and I go You told me that Jake can't do this. What the fuck is going on? He's like, well, who is this woman? Who are these people that that's my thing? That's why I'm mad at you. Who are these people mysterious? I'm mad because three texts that I sent you. Hey, can we get, you're diverting, you're diverting, you're dividing your anger because I couldn't get an answer from you. Somebody emailed me with Jay Moore in a tub. You called me personally and you told me on the phone
Starting point is 01:21:17 that this person, Jay Moore can't do it. That's all the information I need to hear. So is there- But three previous texts to you. It doesn't matter No, it doesn't get an answer for like how did how are you calling me then? By you calling me and saying Jay can't do it. How do you know that information? Because after okay, I'm here. Let me calm down
Starting point is 01:21:37 Because after I didn't get an answer from you in three text messages I got an email from somebody that said Jay Moore and like three other people in it. How does that person know that Jay's even doing the podcast when only me, Kalyla, and you know that Jay's doing the podcast? How does George know that that person is not privy to that information? How do I know Jay Moore's doing the podcast if you don't tell me? I can't tell you because you called me and said that Jay can't do it. Do you think?
Starting point is 01:22:04 You never told me he could do it a certain day. You called me and you say, Jay can't do the day, we have to find someone else, is you knowing that it is happening? This is a fundamental error theory. I wanna go to this guy, what do you think? I just have a couple questions. Yeah, go ahead.
Starting point is 01:22:22 Back up, back, sit down, sit down. Is there a couple questions? Yeah, go ahead What I got back sit down sit down is there is there a publicist? Apparently not according to Jay, but we got George got an email from a publicist So so you got an email from someone saying he can't do these dates, correct? I got an email from somebody no here. I got an email. Okay. I texted Bobby three times didn't get an answer Pointless to the fucking thing, man. Hey, he's also heard about it. We have to validate those feelings before we move on.
Starting point is 01:22:48 Yeah, but that's pointless to think he knows about it. Go ahead. We still gotta answer him. So then a publicist emailed me with like five names of probably doing some movie promotion or something. Jay Moore was one of them. I said, hey, we reached out to Jay Moore. I already reached out to Jay Moore about this date.
Starting point is 01:23:06 Maybe you can help facilitate. They responded, oh, looks like he can't do that date. Maybe you'll like this other person. Who's the other person? Who's the other person? Who's the other person? Adam Carolla. Exactly.
Starting point is 01:23:19 So now both, Jay Moore. So the only answer of four interactions about can Jay Moore do this date was no. So he was, as a producer, he's trying to do his due diligence of hey, I'm not really getting this information. This guy. He has the information. Okay, well this.
Starting point is 01:23:38 He knows the information. He knows the date and he knows that Jay's doing it, right? And then all of a sudden, this person that no one knows because you told him He was already doing it. That's how he knows information. Yeah, okay. Do you think that he maybe thought that you maybe got it wrong Why would he think that I think that and then maybe he was just reconfirming and then he hears from his people he thought There's no we got dates He never knew Jay was doing it There's no yes, but there's no response. He never knew Jay was doing it.
Starting point is 01:24:04 I've heard to any of these, that's my point, Bobby. There's no response, so I had to go around to try to get information. I had to try to get information. I know, but back up. Can we do this date? No, no, that's not it, that's not it. This is riveting content.
Starting point is 01:24:18 Hey, no, can you check back with Jay Moore? No answer. Okay, here's the thing, I'm gonna show you, okay, here we go. He has the same text messages. All right go he has the same text messages all right it's gonna look up it's like the minor blue this time I'm gonna see how on there it says you still want Zack and he said no all right so here's the thing okay so I go can you do June 10th Tiger Belly? Okay. These are texts to Jay.
Starting point is 01:24:46 To Jay Moore, right? Okay. How do I know June 10th? Because I told you. Yeah. Yeah, so you told me, I go, what can Jay do? You said June 10th, right? So I go, can you do June 10th, Tiger Belly?
Starting point is 01:24:57 He goes, yes. I go, thanks, man. That's all that needs to be said there. I know, but then did you relay that information back to George? Yes, I did. Now pull that up. This is a game set match right here.
Starting point is 01:25:11 That's pointless. It's not. It is pointless. You gave me a date for Jay Moore. I told him the date. I gave you two dates initially and I didn't hear back about either of the two dates. Which one?
Starting point is 01:25:23 So I took back one. So instead of going back to me, when they say you saw me, when do I text people back? For anything? When it's somebody you've won on the podcast. No I don't. That's my M.O. Right? Are you enjoying your time? I am enjoying my time.
Starting point is 01:25:40 I'm so glad to hear. Thank you for being here. Of course, of course. I'm glad I could be here for this. Give Zach Justice a round of applause. What a great guest. Come back again, okay? I love it. Check out Dropouts Podcast. Dropouts Podcast. Go check it out. Shukumukiya ito ii-lu Shukulukimuki salaman Fita mokokani ay makapululi
Starting point is 01:26:08 Burung kaya madung-dung nabing bom-bola Shukumukiya ito ii-lu

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