Timcast IRL - Sunday Uncensored: Michael Malice Members Only Podcast

Episode Date: December 24, 2023

Tim & Co join Michael Malice for a spicy bonus segment usually only available on Timcast.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Now, enjoy the show. Michael is grabbing some delicious almonds. I'm putting them inside of me. He's putting them inside of him, he says. I got a question I wanted to ask you guys on the show. What the fuck is up with this flat earth shit? Is there a new development? I love the idea that Ian has to ask us about a crazy theory.

What? If someone walked in the room and said, who is most likely to have an answer about some weird theory? It's you. Is it real? Is there anything to it? No. Okay. I had Alex Jones on my show last week, and one of the questions from the fans was, because I had a local

section, what conspiracy or whatever wacky theory do you think is most unlikely? Alex Jones said flat Earth. Oh, yeah. It's just the argument for flat Earth is that the Earth is accelerating at a certain meters per second, creating the sensation of gravity. I sat next to a flat Earth on a plane once, and it was really weird to have those planes while we're like in the air. They also say that the other planets aren't flat.

It's not like all the planets are flat. It's only the Earth, which is hilarious. Anyway. And also, like, a is hilarious. Anyway. And also, he said, this is the conspiracy theory that of all things on earth affects my life the least. It's like, okay, if it's true, then why? Who cares? Well, the reality is that

not only is the earth hollow, it's also flat. It's called Donut Earth Theory. I heard that, yeah. Donut Earth. You wanted a monologue on why you don't owe Roseanne money? I don't want a monologue. I had an imaginary argument. Okay, so you imagined a-

Argument. Let me into your head. You have to play both parts and do a different voice. Oh, I got it. I got it. So there was an episode. So the bet I had with Roseanne was, we had two bets. Everyone's always focused on the second bet.

The first bet was that there are going to be mass arrests by the end of the year. So let's see if I can collect from her. The second bet was, and I felt like, I feel like I'm in like Bizarro World. Because there was an episode of The Office. And they were all arguing about whether someone was hot. I think it was Jennifer Garner, right? No, Hilary Swank. Hilary Swank.

And Kevin was the swing vote, the dumb character. And eventually he goes, he says, he votes for no. And then Huckabee Say goes, because the question is, is she hot? Not would I do her, right? So the question is, are they going to cancel the election, right? If Trump is kicked off the ballot through some mechanism, that's not the same thing as canceling an election if it's the santas versus uh biden if it's nikki haley versus biden that's not the same question as is trump going to

be allowed to be the nominee so when everyone's like oh you're always at a thousand dollars even if they succeed in kicking him off the ballot that's not canceling the election i asked for this clarification on the show i said do you mean there's not going to be an election like we don't vote? Or are you saying that something will interfere in the process by which no one will take it as a serious election? And what did she say? She said, I think that one. Yes. Which means if Donald Trump is forced off the ballot, it's not a real election.

Trump's the front runner and the favorite. We need to roll back the tapes and listen to this guy. Because here's the other thing. We brought this up on the show for that reason hold on here's my other point if the question was is trump going to be forced off the ballot i'm not besting betting a thousand dollars because i do not have anything close to the certainty i have that there's going to be an election which i'm not 100 which is why we never really clarified we never really determined what the terms of the bet would be because you were joking i wasn't joking

wait i wasn't joking at all what the hell okay then bet would be because you were joking. I wasn't joking. Wait, I wasn't joking at all. What the hell? Okay, then it's plain and simple. Then it's plain and simple. No clarification is required. There must be a situation in which nobody casts a ballot. Not nobody. The only situation I can see is if we go to World War III and they say like emergency lockdown measures like martial law.

Does that mean World War III? It could be just some kind of January 6th. They go, okay, it's over. Right. I asked Roseanne if like, look, people said 2020 was a rigged election right are you saying there won't be an election in that biden declares there no election because of war or are you saying there won't be an election in that trump is forced off the ballot and then it's some other candidate and people are like no we wanted trump this is not a real election

let's suppose let's look at the second one. Let's look at 2020, right? And let's suppose all the conspiracy theories, it was completely stolen. Trump had a landslide, so on and so forth. In that case, would you say it wasn't an election? Yes. 2020 wasn't an election? No, no, no, no, no. You gave me a correct.

You gave me qualifiers for that. Right. You said, if it were true that it was rigged and Trump actually did win but they stole it, I would say, well, there's no election. Right. It was an election.

It was just a rigged one. Yeah, I think, I think, I think you're trying to lawyer me here. I'm like, I'm lawyering. You're saying lawyering

because I think when I made a bet, words are used precisely. And this is why I asked for clarification. Let's play the tape. So here's my point. When people say the election was stolen for Trump, you need to ask them what do they mean by this.

Sure. Because there's several different interpretations. There's the Dinesh version. There's the Hemingway version. The Hemingway version makes more sense to me. Which one is that? Meaning that basically they got out their voters and they managed to kind of push away people who would otherwise have voted for Trump. And ballot harvesting and all this other shit.

But there's not just Dinesh's version. There's the Q version too. But I'm talking about the Hemingway version is legal and the numbers are accurate, but they just managed to build up their numbers. So in my view, if the Democrats procedurally outplayed Republicans. That's the way of looking at it, yes.

An election did happen. Yes, okay. If it is that Democrats cheated, I would not call call it an election you can call it a fake one you can call it a rig to let so the point is this you we can figure out the legal terms for what your bet entails i'm saying when you ask your average person was there an election what they mean is this is the argument i've got with a lot of people. I don't care about the average person. I care about the dictionary.

And right, so my point is this. I feel like you're doing the literal but not serious. So when someone said to me that the election was stolen from Trump, at first I'd just be like, oh, come on, he lost. And then I'm like, oh, I get it. Some people are saying, I feel like Trump should have won

for a variety of reasons. It was stolen from him in that it was his take. If the argument is that for these people, what does an election mean? It means Donald Trump came out and said, here's why you vote for me. And everyone said, you got it, boss. And Democrats went, I don't care why you vote for me. Just fill out the damn form. Right.

They would say that wasn't an election because in their mind, what they mean by election is a process by which two individuals argue for their positions and then the people will choose who should be their leader. My point back was that's never what elections were, but that's what they're in their minds. They're defining it as such. Right. they're in their minds they're defining it as such right so in this case that's why i asked rosanna for the clarification because the idea that biden would just be like no elections ah bang a gavel like that's never going to happen not not but never but tim that i i that's why i bet her i know because the the idea that trump is going to lead mass arrest the pedophile is also never going to happen and she bet for that right so you're agreeing with me of course absolutely the thing is okay i'm saying like okay i literally asked

on the show what does rose we she never we never got a clarification on the rules of the bet because i didn't take it seriously the problem it's very serious it's a bet i asked her if it was going to be the no nobody votes like the election is suspended or is it democrats pull some bullshit in which there's no formal choosing of who the best candidate is? The issue I'm looking at, this will be fun to adjudicate in real time with Roseanne and you on the show again. I think we should do that at the one year reunion

or something like that. If you have a full scale hologram of a house, fully 3D and it looks exactly like a house, but it's a hologram. Is it a house? No. But if you can't verify that it's a hologram, there's no way to verify one or the other. You just see it from a distance. I think you're agreeing with me on this one.

I'm sorry, but the fact, I said before we got here that I had an imaginary argument with you guys. I have to admit, I didn't think we'd get into hologram house analogies oh yeah it's only in verifying if it's legit or not can then you say that it wasn't legit so if you can't verify here's the thing let me ask you this in all seriousness let's suppose all these things happen right and trump is kicked off the primary ballots and desantis or haley is the nominee right and they have the convention the republican delegates vote for let's say haley not an election that makes no sense it does it's not everyone election i'm sorry you do not have a right you do not have a i'm talking about august when the gm you do not have an election doesn't mean whoever wants to be on the ballot november is on the ballot if not it's not right but i feel like your your depiction of this is out is a legalese kind of yes that's i'm speaking precisely that's the way to use words

correctly but when we're trying to convey ideas you need to outline that's what we have contracts for so if no election definition of election in any contract is going to say trump has to be the nominee no that wasn't the bet but But but right. I agree with you. I'm not arguing you're wrong there. I'm saying Ian makes a great point about if the election was a was was a hologram. It was not a real election. It's Biden versus Haley. That's not a hologram.

That would be OK, so we'll try. We'll try again. If there is a house with walls and when you walk up to it and open the door there's actually just framing and nothing else grass on the ground and framing making a box is that a house if haley has a chance okay let's suppose there's trump it becomes down haley versus biden and haley. Was that an election or not? Yeah. Technically, yeah.

So I get what you're saying. I would argue in terms of the idea that an election would be the person who makes the best argument and convinces the most people. That's not what an election is. An election is you have several candidates and whoever gets the most whatever criterion holds the office. Right, right. So I understand why you made the bet. Because we could, you know what we could do. Come, let's say Joe Biden goes,

no election, bangs a gavel. And then I go, hold on there a minute. You can say that Joe Biden, but Tim Pool's holding an election. Election happened. Sorry. Michael wins. But that's not a real election because it's not picking the president. We can hold an election of president's office right now. the president. We can hold an election president's office right now. Hold on.

We can hold an election president right now, three to two, whoever we choose, we declare it. There was some, do you know who Emperor Norton is? When San Francisco used to be cool. Oh, right, right, yeah. There was a guy in the 1800s who called himself Emperor Norton and he said, I'm the emperor of the United States

and he issued currency, right? And this also didn't make sense the other way around when the Democrats were like, Trump's not gonna leave office, he's gonna hold on hold on it's like do you think that whoever's in the oval office is president if he just locks the door he could just pass bills and that's it right so the president is whoever is in the who's sworn in who's recognized as such by the federal government confidence of the people not the people the government because a lot of people don't regard biden as the legitimate president and a lot of people didn't regard trump as the general president if 100 of the people

outside of government said the government is illegitimate the government would not have legitimacy yeah no you're talking to the the right compile the anarchist handbook i know i agree with you my point is every president in the last however many years had double digit percentage of population who didn't regard them as legitimate correct so of course okay of course okay but but it what matters is the threshold of of no confidence has to be very high right so your argument is actually not that there will be an election but that there will be a process by which enough people have confidence the system has maintained itself no my statement is that come november 2024 there will be two or more candidates on the ballot and people will go to voting that's the definition of an election that's

not what was asked that was what was asked you're you're you're you're interpreting things that were not part of roseanne's sentences do you guys remember what roseanne said there will not be an election and you said i will bet you a thousand dollars right or wrong try to find the time now hold on if we want to be really really pedantic rosanne didn't say what kind of election it was the horse election she meant election day well what i took away from that so my argument is the only thing we can do is try and figure out what the spirit of her statement was because she did not say it's not i'm sorry it's not the spirit of her statement was because she did not say. It's not, I'm sorry, it's not the spirit of her statement. You can't add sentences

to her sentence. You said two. I'm sorry, any contract or bet is agreement between two parties of which I am one. And you are adding words Roseanne did not say to your terms. You can't do that. I'm not adding words. You did. I'm defining the terms

that everyone used because these terms are used universally as the dictionary has them. You just said that two people will be voted. That's not what I said. It's a dictionary definition. All right. Elections can have more than two people. Two or more. Fine.

I'm not saying I lose the bet if there's three people on the ballot. There's always 20. So we're dealing with Roseanne and you. And we're trying to understand what Roseanne meant by what she said it's also what i meant exactly we were both parties to this bet that's right and what i meant and what i understood is her belief which other people believe it's not unique to her is that there will be no voting process correct yeah i thought i agree i believe you are right okay we agree okay right we've been on the same page the whole time we could pull it up i'm sorry i didn't follow the hologram house my argument my argument been on the same page the whole time we could pull it up i'm sorry i didn't follow

the hologram house my argument my argument is on the external definition outside of your bet with you with roseanne we know what roseanne likely meant okay but there are people out there who feel i agree with okay an election is they genuinely thought in 2020 the election was donald trump stood up and said here's my argument and they went yes saw everybody agreeing to all the signs and then biden won and they went it was stolen from him. I see what you're saying. Oh, I think they're wrong. If that if the election is a process by which people make their arguments and then we choose who has the better arguments, Trump won. Yeah, sure. If the argument is an election is a process by which a bunch of people vote on pieces of paper and then whoever gets the

most pieces of paper wins. Joe Biden won. whoever thinks an election is about who has the better arguments that makes no that's weird well you you you're in a bubble i'm not in a bubble i'm in a i'm using english correctly it's my second language i have to learn it but you're but but actually yeah or very electors but there's a colloquial understanding of what people think this country is and what you're arguing is this country is actually dirtier and the system is much more devious than people realize. How, how can anyone,

but that is you as a learned man. And there, we're talking about salt of the earth. People who've never voted before, but I'm not, I'm not making bets with them. I'm not talking about your bet. Okay.

I'm talking about how people in this country define election. They're so naive then. Of course they are. They never voted before. Okay. Okay. Trump's Trump in 2016, 2020. And even now what we're seeing is most like a large portion of his base.

They don't even know what the voting process is. You're right. You're right. You're absolutely right. No, no. I can see exactly what you're saying. Cause I, I am in a bubble like you're saying, cause I'm usually talking to people highly politically addicts.

Read a lot of books, write a lot of books, study a lot of elections. I agree with you. Elections have never been. I take it for granted how naive people are about how corrupt it's been for how long yeah i think that's i think completely naive you're right when you work in the sphere it's hard you forget you're absolutely right you have to like hold on to all of your friends you're absolutely right you're absolutely right now totally conceded and i think you're right on your bet with rosanne we all know rosanne was was basically saying military tribunals and no election it's like okay i think i found the

time stamp on the video if you guys want to pull it up and watch the tape it's about 57 minutes on the episode but the issue was there was like 10 or 15 minutes later i said what do you mean rosanne are you saying we like it's a long conversation but i but i think it's fine because i think everyone agrees rosanne was saying there would be no yeah like process i think which was an extreme claim but i thought she was kind of like having it's gonna be funny when she's right and you have to pay i'll be you know what honestly if that happens my thousand dollars is the least of my concerns i'm not even i'm not even kidding i'll give her a thousand dollars if that happens like you've earned that thousand dollars and i've got bigger things to

worry about it's gonna be funny because it's like we that it would be a great skit you guys could film where you're like sitting in like this post-apocalyptic shithole and you're like, your clothes are all tattered and there's gunfire and you're like, oh, Roseanne, you pull out a thousand bucks. What am I going to buy with this? I almost forgot. Here you go. It's the money I owe you. It's Trump bucks. Our last precedent.

So I'll tell you about Dylan Mulvaney. Yeah, please. Dylan Mulvaney spoke at, was it UPenn? Empty Seats, yeah. Right, because Dylan Mulvaney is a product of an algorithm no one cares about. Right. So you ever see a freak show? It's okay to say yes, it's the after show.

I see one now. Why is it that people want to see Siamese twins and the bearded lady? Conjoined twins! No, I'm talking about to see siamese twins in the bearded conjoined twins no i'm talking about the original siamese twins racist changit chang and ang were their names yes from siam and they would go from siam and they would go they went to the freak show yes and they would see the quote-unquote time i was i was using a proper noun not a not a pejorative okay uh why did people want to see this because people want to gawk dylan mulvaney is sterilizing himself surgically altering himself

while there are people online who don't care and don't like it going like do more now cut your nose off oh fuck he's doing it that's dylan mulvaney i there's a there's a couple in i think norway and it's two girls they're a lesbian couple and one of them is carrying the other's baby then they're gonna switch and the other one of them is carrying the other's baby and then they're going to switch and the other one's going to carry the other person's baby. And, you know, maybe they have a lot of supporters

who are like... That's so weird. You have to take drugs to do that. They went through publicly through several rounds of IVF. They would give all these like, you know, your HCG level rises.

They miscarry at one point. Like, this is what people are watching. They also like decorate their house. They like pastel colors, you know. But there is a certain level of people being like, your life is very weird and unusual and I want to stare. Michael, are you mad that Del Mulvaney sterilized himself?

No, I don't care. I could not possibly care less. This reminds me of this video I saw once. It was a Canadian reporter. He went back to North Korea and he's talking to his two guys. They always have two guys because they watch each other and it's at the Oster Tranche outside Pyongyang. And there are these ostriches and he's talking to the old guy. The's again the guy's like in his 50s korean man and he goes hey remember last time i was here i talked to you guys about gays and lesbians like yeah yeah yeah yeah and he's like well what about bisexuals and the north korean guy's just like what and it's just like

like what like lesbians have each other like what now like okay fine cut off your nose i don't i don't care the lesbians are carrying each other's baby yeah yeah i'm wondering why it is i should care that liberals are sterilizing themselves because it's encouraging young men and women to follow suit right but like otherwise be self-correcting problem you know it's not self-correcting because a lot of when i i'm a little older than you when i was a kid i'd say like a good majority of the of the females that I went to school with went through an eating disorder at some point in their life. And it's not fun, but then they grow out of it. And it's like, it's like a rite of passage for teenage girls. It's very, very common. Now those girls with body issues start taking testosterone, getting double mastectomies, and you can't undo that. You can gain weight from

anorexia. You can be like, what was I thinking? You know, now I've dealt with my issues. I'm comfortable with my own body. That's the difference and if you ever there's no there was no one the culture was preaching thinness but the country culture wasn't literally preaching anorexia let me clarify right i agree children shouldn't be allowed to undergo these procedures teenagers yeah yeah no i agree minors yeah but the thing is allowed it's very easy to get these hormones we completely agree minors should not be doing this stuff okay why should i care that liberals oh 18 and over are sterilizing themselves oh but i'm saying is because a lot of these teenagers look at these liberals as role models so we should stop like don't move any from

sterilizing themselves because a young person might do it too no we should i don't know who we is in this context. Culturally. I'm just saying it's dangerous when people like this are championed, especially without any talk about what the costs are, even the cost of just taking hormones, because everyone understands bodybuilders on testosterone, just steroids, women

in pregnancy with their estroids spiking will affect their psychology. And birth control, right? They don't even give women the answers about the effect of birth control. Right. So we're going to go even further with more experimental hormone dosing

for people who are minors. I mean, it's crazy. And that also speaks to the thing about no trade-offs. It's like if the point had been the birth control pill is a good thing, but here are the costs,

that would be a more honest conversation. But in our culture, if something is good, to imply there's something, a cost to it or something bad with it, it completely blows up in your face. It's so crazy.

I think more and more data is coming out showing that in the next couple of generations, this country is going to be overwhelmingly conservative. I don't, I think conservatism is dying out. Well, it's going to be like us. Right of center. Right. It's not the same thing. If you look at what just happened in the Netherlands, where Geert Wilders came in now the the traditional right of center party has collapsed in the polls

if you look at what's happening in the uk nigel farage's reform party is creeping up and taking over the tories which has been the right of center party for over a century like there's a big transition happening pun intended a friend of a friend of mine uh was hanging out and she brought a friend of hers who is a lesbian from or maybe by but you know she was into ladies from the netherlands and it was fascinating having this conversation because my friend american liberal her friend dutch lgbt me american i would argue centrist or whatever but they can say whatever they want to say unorthodox thinker how about north and i was almost completely aligned with the lesbian of

course of course she said people are sick and tired of them immigrants they're everywhere they're sleeping in front of our buildings they're getting public uh services that we don't get and it's making our costs go up and everyone's very angry about it and then all the lgbt stuff is just everywhere it's in your face no matter what you want and i was like wait but you're you're gay and she was like i know but like at a certain point we just want to be left alone but they're putting it on everything and we're not asking them to do it now people are mad at us and i was like yeah that sounds about right that's like what we're talking about if i saw posters said straight is great no i'd be so annoyed i don't want to make it no it's great it would be like you walking around and everything's

about korean culture it's like okay i get it but it's just like like literally everything's got to be about korea it should be yeah it be annoying. Best Korea. Everybody should wear those little suits. Little military ones. Yeah, yeah. The mouse suits. Can we make straight is great? Do it. I'll message Jessica.

But if I saw posters of that or advertising, I'd get annoyed. So you're against straight people? No, I'm saying if we do it on Teespring, we'll get banned. But we can make them on our own. And just show a man or a woman kissing? I know what I'm getting all of you for Christmas now. No, just straight is great. For the holidays. Well, I observe Christmas, but I'm getting all of you for Christmas now. No, no, just straight is great. For the holidays.

Well, I observe Christmas, but I will give it for you for whatever holiday you want. I celebrate Kwanzaa. Have you seen the Magical Negro movie trailer? I have, yes. The most dangerous animal is white people? Wow. Let's go to callers. Let's go to callers. Thanks Obama for that one. Thanks Obama for that one.

Yeah, thanks Brock. I think people stopped saying that. I don't know why they did. I will say it all the time. I'll bring it back for Kwanzaa. Brian. Should I tweet straight as great and then quote Ian? Well, I would get annoyed if I saw that all over the place. Ian, I'm quoting you.

I'm going to quote you on this. Yeah, but let's jam on Friday. Brian, suspected retard. How are you? You are on the air. Yes, sir. Thanks, Serge. No worries. Thanks, Tim, crew, HCB.

Thanks. Always glad to be on with you. Yeah, I'll get right into it. I got a question for the whole panel. If Trump is taking off the colorado gop primary ballot if this is allowed to stand is this game over for trump 2024 no conversely if this is taking skittles and they overturn it does that mean all the federal and state charges related to january 6 against trump to become new no no no no tremendously the scotus just says hey you don't have the right to overrule constitutional

requirements next question has nothing to do with whether trump can be indicted convicted charged or whatever so uh and colorado is not a state trump needs to win to win the primary he but if if like 20 states did it, it might affect Trump, for sure. Or maybe like 7 states, but for now it's just a potential cascade effect if other states start using this as precedence. And I think Michael's right, it's a trial balloon.

But more importantly, it's what we're seeing is one state tries something and then fails. Or like they throw it out there. New Mexico. Right. Oh yeah, especially. But no, I mean, in terms of removing Trump. Yeah. A bunch of states have tried it and slowly pushed forward a little bit every time.

They're trying to normalize it because if they came out from the get go and said Trump's been banned from all the ballots, riots, chaos. So what they're doing is boiling the frog. Exactly. Very, very slowly. And they're moving Trump. Colorado doesn't matter. It's a blue state. Then California doesn't matter. It's a blue state. Then California doesn't matter. It's a blue state.

But eventually it's Ohio. And here's something else. If you're arguing whether he should be on the ballot or not, they basically snuck in the premise that you agree that he's an insurrectionist. Yeah. So the argument isn't anymore about whether he's an insurrectionist, it's about whether insurrectionists should be on the ballot. See, people should watch Dr. Stone.

Do you know who Dr. Stone is? No. Anime. Anime, oh God. Oh yeah, you're so clueless, Michael. Everybody's petrified for some mysterious reason. And then thousands of years later, this high school science prodigy awakens

and starts to rebuild society. And so it's basically magic school bus for Japanese kids. But one of the, there's a really great point. There's a character in it named Gan, who's a mentalist. And so when they start resurrecting certain people, what the show is basically doing is explaining basic things about science okay in a fun way where it's like we're gonna make gunpowder and then he like mixes bad

shit and you know potassium blah blah and so there's there's an issue where they have a secret base the bad guy finds them and the bad guy's like i I'm going to kill all of you right now. Or maybe I shouldn't. I don't know what to do. And the character, again, starts negotiating with him and does a bunch of clever tactics and then side like narrates how to manipulate people and what he's doing. And so the first point of the conversation is, should I kill you or should I force you to serve me? In the process of negotiation, it comes to a point where

he says clearly we here are on par with you and our tech our sorcery is science is much more powerful than your skills but your skills could kill us therefore we'll work together you'll we'll accomplish our goals and then we split the rewards 50 50 and he goes 50 50 i get all the rewards we'll work together but i get everything and he goes he goes, oh, drat, you got me. And then he explains, I moved the goalposts from, should I kill you and take everything? Or should you serve me to, we'll work together, but

do I get it all or do I get half? And so, actually, the guy arguing he gets all the rewards was, in fact, the manipulation to trick him into not killing them. He explained all that. I love it. It's a good show. It's very fun. But that's the point yes shifting the narrative away from does what can you move donald trump to is he an insurrectionist or is he not when one of the things i love when i argue national divorce is when people are like well how would it work who

would get the nukes i'm like if we're arguing over the details i've sold you the car right but it's true yeah that's a classic sales technique absolutely if you're the used car dealership We're arguing over the details. I've sold you the car. Right? But it's true. Yeah. That's a classic sales technique. Absolutely. If you're the used car dealership and you're like, I don't know, I really want this in red. It's like, he's got you. Yep.

And it's like, okay, we can make this work. We can paint it for you for free. Yeah. For free. Yeah. Wow. Really? Any color.

We'll throw in a free paint job. Yeah. We'll make it red. And a CD player. Yeah. Showing my age. CD player. I feel like those are probably trendy right now.

You never know. You're right. I was watching like, I think I'm watching It's Always Sunny Again. I'm on like season 11. And there's an episode where they go to a video store and I was like, fuck off. Come on, guys.

What year was that? It was like four years ago. No, but I think that was the whole point. It was like retro. No. A movie was coming out and they were beefing with the McPoyles. The McPoyles bought the video store so they couldn't rent their movie.

Oh, wow. Okay, I assumed it was a kind of throwback. During 2020, when I was in West Virginia, I would go to a video store that was near me because it was there and it was interesting because it was a small business. But what he told me was actually he gets a lot of business because areas where there isn't reliable internet. Oh, yeah. It's Alaska. Well, this was West Virginia. So I think there actually

are more video stores than we believe. Like there was that documentary about the last, well, maybe Philly. The last blockbuster. The last blockbuster. And that was in like a suburb.

But I think rural areas probably are keeping video alive. Did I ever tell you my really good idea? What? Hologram house? No, no, no, no. We'll wrap up this call.

You open the door. Is there a house? Is there not? Let's wrap up this call or Brian. Yes, Brian, anything else to add? No, thanks. You guys addressed my question,

and I know it was kind of redundant because you talked about it a lot last night. God bless you, Brian. Thanks for calling in. Thanks, man. Thanks for taking my call, and I appreciate y'all, and good night. Appreciate it.

Creative Trader in the chat says thunder gun that is correct they wanted to rent thunder gun now i think it was like part two or something so here's my idea i want to get and i really should do this because i've talked about it for like two years you get a uh how would you do this you'd you'd want maybe like to buy four small houses and each of them is a decade 60s 70s 80s and 90s and you rent the place for however many days you want when you go inside everything is of that decade so you go into the 90s house and there's posters on the walls in the bedroom when you turn the tv on we have a raspberry pie playing a loop of multiple channels with perfect all day on the on the fridge will be 90s pizza

hut you open it some 90s sodas and you get to live in the 90s room 60s room 70s 80s room radio phones and everything and it's like a it's like a theme hotel you know pbs did this there's something called the 1900 house yeah but that was like just it was like one house where they had people live in the 1900s like experience it yeah i'm saying like do a business i got you i got you airbnb people can rent it i want to stay in the 90s and then what we do is no wi-fi no wi-fi none in fact yeah yeah yeah no you have to give us your cell phone here's the best part though on the fridge there will be like a 90s pizza and when you call it a 90s pizza man shows up if you want and delivers it so what we have is one staff member and like a bunch of different outfits and shows up if you want and delivers it. So what we have is one staff member

and like a bunch of different outfits and uniforms who's on staff and on call to answer the phone if you call any of the phone numbers and things like this, and you get to experience. But my only concern, my biggest concern is- Scoring some good- Suicide. Oh, sorry. Okay. Suicide.

So you're gonna have some Gen xer who's going whose wife divorced him his kids disowned him and he doesn't he's lost his job and he's gonna rent the room and he's gonna go and he's gonna sit down he's gonna look at the smash from the offspring poster and he's gonna turn on the simpsons and he's gonna start crying and remember when life was good he's gonna blow his fucking brains out in my hotel you know how to stop that from happening make the house a hologram oh interesting you nailed it let's go to the next caller all right let's do it wouldn't wouldn't be fun like stay in a 70s room i think it would be fun for i actually did this i'm not kidding when i was filming with jordan uh peterson in arizona the house was like hideous they go no no it's made in like a 1970s style because they film movies in it. And I'm like, this is great for five minutes,

but it's like tacky and horrific. Yeah. But people who were kids in the 70s would spend a night there and pay 300 bucks. Yeah, that's true. It's like a theme thing where you... For Micah, that's the material. And especially like... Huge in the 80s. You want to bring your kids and show them how you grew up. Yeah. True. Yeah.

This is what it was like racing to the phone when it rings. Your rotary phone. Do you remember that, Michael? Ta. Yeah. This is what it was like racing to the phone when it rings. Your rotary phone. Do you remember that, Michael? Tape deck. No one ever called me. I didn't have to race. Your house? Yeah, no one called me.

No, when I was a kid, the phone would ring and then we'd all run to try and answer the phone. Yeah. My favorite was when I was like 10 and this guy called and it was a debt collector

and he was like, he's like, hi, I'm looking for Mrs. Poole and I was like, she's not home right now and he goes, Mrs. Poole, I know it's you and I was like, what? I'm a boy and he was like, hi, I'm looking for Mrs. Poole and I was like, she's not home right now. And he goes, Mrs. Poole, I know it's you. And I was like, what?

I'm a boy. And he was like, nice try. I just hung up. Tim, I'm embarrassed to say this, but I'll admit this because it's the after show. I get called ma'am to my face once a year. Wow. You're misgendering me.

There's a woman out there that looks a lot like you. Not meanly, like at the drugstore or whatever. Have day ma'am once a year all right let's grab that next caller let's grab the next one is that they're being open-minded yeah let's uh let's talk to perceptual jonathan it hurts every time how are you brother i think i'm doing well i hope you guys are all doing well yeah we are doing well superman does good yeah you know were you talking about the flat earth stuff go back and you look at the video when felix bomgartner jumped out of the sky it's all just people in the comments arguing about the flat earth really it's that famous red bull video it's all people saying like oh i can see curvature no it's fish eye yeah i don't get it um but my

question is for michael i'm the guy with na Bekele in El Salvador, he's really turned the country around, but he did it with very non-anarchist, very non-libertarian solutions. And I'm wondering if we'd made El Presidente Michael Malice in El Salvador, what would your anarchist solution have looked like and also does your general contempt of the we're kind of walking back a bit during the show but your general contempt for police apply to those who are rounding up the ms-13 gang members in el salvador i i would this is something that drives me crazy it's a very good question uh and these like my twitter polls like if you sometimes you ask people would you rather have the flu or would you rather have full blown AIDS? Well, neither. They both suck. Just because two things suck doesn't mean they both suck equally or that one is not obviously preferable. My contempt for the police is enormous and great.

But when you're talking about gang members who are like raping kids and dismembering them, it's not a hard choice. I just don't think the police historically, and especially in America, are very efficacious at handling gang violence, because if it was, Chicago wouldn't be Chicago. And I don't think this is the police's force. I think it's the force of the people who are running the police who are choosing to have

these kind of situations, because it gives them an excuse to have more government control to disarm the populace. So I absolutely have no problem with... I'm not 100% familiar with the Bichelli situation, but I have no problem with i don't i'm not 100 familiar with the kelly situation but i have no problem if there's like a like a narco terrorist country where the gangs are just killing kids and whatever the hell they want for someone to crack down on them and my biggest concern which i'm sure everyone shares is at what point do they draw the line and everyone gets

classified as a gang member and they get rounded up you know just like you know the patriot act oh it's only gonna be for terrorists whoops by terrorists they mean someone who likes trump that's the concern yeah i'm interested to find out how he did it what his plan was with the police and if he if they stood down and disbanded after the job was done or if no no this is still happening yeah i wouldn't call it a police state though it's just like like like really cracking down on law and order it's not the same thing yeah uh anything else to add yeah um you know merry christmas uh i don't know happy hanukkah it won't go with kwanzaa because that's a weird one but uh happy he celebrates kwanzaa so fake and uh kwanzaa's fake they're all fake and isn't it made up by like a I don't know some weird cultist

yeah that's correct word thanks just one more thing where you were talking about gas price and stuff it reminded me of this thing called the Peltzman effect which is if you look at mandatory seatbelt laws they may

actually not have help what may actually not have help. What may they not do? Yeah, stop signs increase accidents. Drive more recklessly. This is true. So before stop signs, the average person would slow down at intersections to check because they didn't want to get hit.

But once stop signs were created, people would, driving, notice a stop sign and think, I don't got to stop. And then someone would blow the stop sign hitting them. Everyone used to stop by default. Now, no one stops. Or some people don't. And stop. And then someone would blow the stop sign hitting them. Everyone used to stop by default. Now, no one stops or some people don't. So those people are called women. We're a menace. What can I say?

Well, I thought they were called property in the Middle East. We're not in the Middle East. We're in America. You might be. OK, let's get the next caller. Yeah, I'm just waiting for you guys. I'm pulling this up for Michael. There you go.

You can pull it up. What is that picture of? It's like a wheel. You want to grab the next caller? I know what that is. For people that know what it is, that's a pretty good one. It's a picture of a scratched, busted up rim from being dragged on a curb, and it says Happy International Women's Day.

Oh, because the, yeah, yeah, yeah. Curb gouge. Yeah, I got it. It's a rough one. How's it going, Percentem, P- m hope you're well you're getting better at that uh i am doing well my question uh it's directed at tim but i guess anyone can answer it uh it starts with uh owen schroyer a couple of nights ago sharing sharing that many of the correction officers that he interacted with were sympathetic to him, but not willing to stand up for him in that situation. is basically after we accept that and it's twofold uh first how do we convince people like that to actually risk taking a stand against something that is clearly immoral and if we can't how do

we create a communal consequence uh that is well yeah proportional to their inaction or acquiescence yeah so so when uh when trump comes in and he begins firing corrupt individuals and starts weeding all these people out, there can simply be an executive action, a proportional response of these guards should lose their pensions and be fired. That's it. Good luck. Go find another job. It could be even simpler, which is what's happening to the police, where you just these people are just culturally the target because of shame. And a certain point, if something's just a shameful job, like fewer people are going to do it. But I but it's true.

But I don't think we want to culturally shame guards or whatever. We want to culturally shame those who are just like lap dogs for the state. Right. And so that would mean that once we win, we have to remember the names of each and every one of these people who said, I'm just doing my job and then find a commensurate punishment. And I think for a security, for like a prison guard who was arresting Owen Schroyer, we should strip them of their pensions and fire them. But if they're only doing their job, they'd be just as happy doing their job for the right people. And we stripped them of their pension. And so they're going to think, no, no, no, guys, if I go along with that bullshit, I lose my retirement i lose my retirement oh sure i saw what happened to john i'm not going anywhere near that bullshit john's the worst yeah john these people are always going to be the banality of evil yes correct i

wrote a whole book about it we need to create a consequence for people who want to right yes that simple could you make robots that are like ethical no god ian they're like won't do it it's called lex friedman yeah maybe hold on hold on hear me out uh uh michael what if we unleashed No. They're like, won't do it. It's called Lex Friedman. Yeah, maybe Lex can build it. Hold on, hold on. Hear me out, Michael. What if we unleashed maybe like a couple million of those Boston Dynamics humanoid bots with guns and then went, oh, geez, oh, no,

we don't know where these came from and they're out of control. We all must unite together to fight back against them. Oh, common enemy. And then created a fake common enemy and then we defeat them and then, you know. I think the best way to beat the binding regime is create skynet it can't possibly backfire you would think robot police would just be the arm of the law which could be tyrannical but if if it's somehow in the code that they will not turn on the righteous that they will overlook

their orders if it's wrong if it's like but that's really like literally what's happening now it's just we're being defined as the not righteous by the programmers. Right. So we need to win the culture back and then determine who is- Just burn down the universities, we'll be fine. I just want to point this out to everybody because we've said to a lot of people,

but I'm glad you're here, I can say this. Isn't it wild that only a few years ago, you would be banned on Twitter for saying men aren't women? Now I tweet the word retard like twice a day. That me. I know. I was like, retard every time at Michael. I really want people to appreciate this because conservatives especially, and I do not consider myself conservative, really don't know how to take a win.

Or if they take a win, they think, oh, does it matter? It's just like, if something like mass Muslim immigration was a big one, it's like they stopped talking about refugees welcome, like take the wind. But they're so content on being the whipping boys of the left that when anything good happens, they can't be like, wait a minute, this has actually gone in a positive direction. Alex Jones is back everywhere. When I complain about Marvel movies

getting woke, a whole bunch of conservatives are like, what a fucking man-child baby. Grow up, baby. Let me just tell you, when we first got the MCUcu started captain america was one of the biggest conservative victories in entertainment yeah the story of a guy who wanted so hard to fight for america who believed in this country and wore its flag that he would lie to recruiters desperately trying to serve this country and sacrifice himself for the betterment of his

community there was no celebration there was no like this is what movies should be about a superhero who is a kid who you know was a soldier and loved america and fought fascism instead it was just a movie and then when when marvel got woke they went oh shut up who cares grow up i'm like dude dude dude in 2011 or two when was the first i don't remember it was American culture and movies was Captain America. And then 10 years later, it's feminist fucking bullshit. We should be mad. They stole that from us and fight to win it back.

So our kids watch more Captain America. I agree with you. It feels like the conservative movement is a bitch fest, like complaining, complaining. And like, I think people got to learn to enjoy the sea change, like you're never gonna win or lose it's always changing and just enjoy when things start to move in the direction you want them to yes and take the wins when you get them yeah even if they're small and in your personal life doesn't everything has politics i think people are always obsessed with the negative things that are happening you have to look for the positive no it is good i think a lot of people complain about the darkness of like a lot of youtube and

commentary it's important there's a reason why we do this we're we're looking for danger it's what we do sure but we always got to mention we always got to make sure we talk about look there's light at the end of the tunnel we're not down and out we're pointing out the problems but good things happen yeah because if your tribe is if you scare you want to let your tribe know when there's danger but if you scare them into they'll be they'll be traumatized and their life will be hell. You should also let your tribe know when there's a bounty. So I just want to say this. When I inevitably become Supreme Chancellor,

all of these banality of evil people are going to feel it and they will regret it. Sounds like you're going to take Ibogaine. They're going to feel you. It's a consciousness shift. Oh my God, I love you so much. So I don't ever actually plan on being Supreme Chancellor, but I remark my words,

whatever power and capabilities that I have will always, always be used for accountability to these people. And what could that turn into? I don't know. Let's say, like, right now we open a coffee shop, and one of the security guards who imprisoned Owen Schroer shows up to an event, we kick him out.

That's what I mean. Sure. You're not welcome here, dude. Voluntary and peaceful enforcement of norms. Yep. You're a scumbag, and you're not welcome here. You are not welcome. Thanks for calling in, good sir.

Was there any final thoughts? Percent M. Two quick ones. The first, your Fast and Furious reference, it's five, not four. Oh, it's five. How embarrassing for you. I know. You've done it a couple of times, and it bugs me.

No, that's harsh. The other one is that I'm actually i'm waiting on the copyright paperwork to finish up but once i get that i will be attempting to publish my children's book uh which will initially be available on amazon oh because i don't have anywhere else because he thinks tokyo drift is actually part of the the the it's not i had to watch tokyo drift for nothing it's like it's like it's like saying saying Hobbs and Shaw is part of the main storyline. Do you not see this gray hair? I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Like Hobbs and Shaw is fine, but it's clearly not. Can we talk about Thundercats? Something I understand. I used to play Mumrod. Cheers. Thanks for calling in. At our local playgroup. Last but not least,

Dewinde. Dewinde. How are you, Dewinde? Not sure how to pronounce that one. Dewinde, you got it right. Dewinde. Good evening. Thanks for having me. You guys do great work.

Thank you. My question is first for Ian, but I do want to get it from everybody to the whole panel. What do you think is going to happen if the Epstein list is released and Donald J. Trump's name is on it as an active participant? It won't be. We know by now. That's for sure. No, it will be, but it's going to, it's like people don't understand what's being released.

They're not releasing the client list oh i i look man i just can't stand some of these youtubers what are they releasing then it's it's uh defamation court documents related to virginia jufre's defamation suit with gillane maxwell and the documents are just a bunch of statements were made by witnesses in the court case the names were redacted and now the court will be releasing the names oh so it's victims it's like janitors housekeepers people who are around it's people who are not even related to epsi in any way there's people who are like i ran an auto repair shop and this woman came in and got her car car fixed one day but there will be associates there are recruiters The likelihood that Trump's name pops up, I think is significant.

But it's going to be like Donald Trump was in the middle of a financial deal with insert person who had been negotiating with Epstein or something like this. Okay, got it. Yeah, yeah.

It's not the client list, which is what I'm saying. Not the client list. And there's a, because a bunch of people on YouTube and Twitter are saying the Epstein list is being released. That's how they are saying.

That's how I perceive it. Yeah, that's not true. Oh, damn. 170 names from a lawsuit. you had a second question there yeah i'm sorry there there was a second part of that oh also what happens if the names on the list are there's false names for malicious intent to persuade american people from certain candidates right yep i don't know how to verify that list i I don't know if there's really worth putting too much weight on it. There's court documents with names in them.

177 names. It's not even a list then. It's not. It's not a list at all. You got like a flight log. It's being misrepresented. Yeah. And it was like verified somehow

and I don't even know who's doing the verification. It's just like a cast of characters in a lawsuit. That's not a list. But even there's victims in it. Sure. They're going to be naming victims.

It's a cast of characters. Right. That's unfortunate. So probably what will happen. We're still victims in it. Sure. They're going to be naming victims. It's a cast of characters. Right. That's unfortunate. So probably what will happen. We're still happy about it. Is that there will be a letdown. It's not going to be the same kind of result as if they were to release a client. It's going to be a massive letdown.

Michael, have you ever been arrested? No. Have you ever been detained? No. Have you ever been questioned by the police in any way? Yes. You have done more time than anyone on Epstein's client list yeah of course and simply having been questioned i have a punch line but i'm not gonna do it i think if trump had

that would have came out it's not even a joke it's true yeah what are you saying oh that you i agreed with you that if trump's name had been on the flight logs that would have already be out of course for sure yeah yeah but that's i know it's not an answer to the question it's just that the whole like if his name came out on the flight log what would people do is like do we even know if monkeys came down from space what would we do kind of thing who's that lady who said he raped her in new york oh that eugene carroll yeah do we even have evidence that he was like at the store with her no no no i'm just quite the contrary this The circumstantial evidence would indicate it's not true at all.

Okay. That's what I thought. And my favorite part of the town hall was when he was like, I own the Plaza Hotel across from the store. Like, you think I'm what?

You think I'm going to a dressing room? She argued that he went into one of the busiest buildings in the city where he was a superstar, went to the second floor where there was no one

for some reason on this day, went to a dressing room that was locked. Somehow he opened, and then he went in there, which she consented to having sex with. She said it was consensual. And now it's rape. And the court just said yes. Okay, I just want to be clear, because I thought I was missing something.

One of the jurors said he watched my show one time, and they all ran the story being like, Tim Pool fan removed from jury pool or something like this. And I was like, the dude said that he had watched the show once yeah fucking amazing anyway it's a classic sir is there one time anything else you would like to add no that was perfect thank you that was great right on um i uh i did want to say uh i'd like to plug my brother-in-law's book if that's okay do it do it sure yeah it's available pre-order on amazon my five galleons and dialed zero three for operator by michael ewer the second poems essays and lived experiences and i was also asked

to find out where he could send you a copy uh i don't know any local trash can i have no idea so uh as time goes on and the show gets bigger the ability to communicate with me becomes closer and closer to zero. And there is no means by which to send me things or communicate with me. And besides, there's really no upside to talking to him. Trust me, it's all a cost. It's all nonsense. The opportunity cost.

I gotta tell you, one of the most annoying things is when people ask me to call Rogan for them. Oh God. And I'm like, my friend. Do you literally ask you that? All the time. Are you serious? I get it.

Don't even get me started. I'll do like every once in a while if some really cool thing comes in and they're like, show Tim. They're never like, hey, this one maybe.

They never ask for like second tier people like, hey, could you get me on Ruben? I mean, Ruben's not Rogan. Ruben has a huge audience. Like I could probably get you on Ruben,

but it has to be Rogan. And you know what else? Not everyone is good at riffing for three hours straight. It's a really hard thing to do. Although I will say he needs to have James O'Keefe on it. I don't know why he hasn't. That's true, yeah. He's referenced him a lot, but I gotta tell you, there is 0% I ever text Joe

and tell him, hey, have you had this person on? That's never happened. Because I tell people, I'm like, listen, I essentially don't have email. I don't have an address. There is no way to send me anything. Security reasons and the amount that I get is so insane that it's just a big pile of garbage. I get like a thousand emails a day or more.

So it's just mass garbage nonstop. So the only time, I always tell people like, I mean, if I hit up Joe about Bigfoot or something, we'll laugh our asses off. But you try and hit him up and talk to him about the show and other people, it's just like, bro, I've got no time for this. Yes, of course. But anyway. True.

Anyways. Sorry, I have no idea. We used to have a P.O. box. We got rid of it because people were sending bombs and shit. Is that true? Yeah. i'll say i said what i could say thank you sorry to hear that thanks for calling in michael thanks for hanging out oh it's always such fun yeah absolutely we got to have you back um what do you have a plan for for the election in 2024 like what you're going to be doing no but i'll come back here to launch my indiegogo is that cool yeah yeah but i imagine for the 2024 election, we'll have like a big event.

We'll get a ton of people to come down. Yeah, so you're definitely invited. Okay, that'd be so fun. We should do you and Roseanne too if you're into it. Tim, what's the point? There's not gonna be an election. That's what I'm talking about. But that's why we gotta have you and Roseanne

on election day for her to hand you the $1,000. What I think we should do is before November, we should have a Tim Pool roast. I don't know how I would do that. I mean, sure, if you want to set something up. Would you do it in Austin? Let's do it at the Mothership. Oh, yeah.

Let's do it. We couldn't even get the Mothership with Roseanne. You know how hard we tried? You couldn't get it with her? Well, nobody, no one would dare ask anyone at the Mothership for how to do booking. And so when we- Adam does booking. Adam Eget.

Well, okay. Well, then- I don't know Adam. I'm just saying that's who does booking. And so everyone was like, oh, I'm not going to know. Adam Eget, you ask him. Okay. It's just that's-

I mean, you don't have contact info for him. We were planning on doing the show with you and Roseanne in Austin at the mothership and doing IRL live. Ask Adam. He'll do it. Yeah. All right. We'll figure it out, but it won't be here right now. Sure.

Chief Op-Off says Tim is so afraid of a roast. You want to know what I'm afraid of? I'm afraid of getting on a private jet on Sunday at 4pm landing in a city where I have to work out of a hotel room, then doing a live show on stage and having to get on a private jet at 10pm mountain time to fly

back to the East Coast to get home at 5 21 a.m sleep for two hours and 10 minutes and then wake up to my morning show again and then have to eat exercise and do the nightly show again that's what i'm worried about so when someone's like would you do it in austin i'm that's what i'm thinking about but it doesn't have to be live you could do it we could tape it on saturday you could air it the month as the monday show for example but like if we're gonna do it in austin I have to go to Austin. Sure, no, I'm just saying. I'm just throwing that out. So if it's going to be, so going to Austin would entail Friday night after the show, getting a private jet, which is going to cost $70,000 round trip.

Maybe you don't want to do that. Saturday morning commercial, meaning leave at 7, get to the airport at 9, be in the airport for three hours, fly in a plane for five hours, land, go do a roast sunday get on the plane fly back then wake up the next day and it's just two straight weeks of no days off and just pure non-stop we should do a week in austin so that's that the option would be if we did friday night right show live or something like that yeah i guess the problem with that is we couldn't the other issue is we couldn't do it on IRL

because a real roast needs to be really fucked up. You can bleep it. We can't bleep live. No, but you can air it on Monday and tape it Friday. That'd be awesome. Well, no, because we do IRL live on Friday. So at what point during the day. I see what you're saying.

Right. So we could like record a roast at, We could do it live on the website and then post it on YouTube. If we did it out here in DC. Yeah. On a Saturday, super easy to do. And you can,

it'll be cheaper to fly. And then we do dinner afterwards. You can fly everyone. Yeah, absolutely. That'd be, you put them up. That's easy.

Yeah. It'd be super great. I'd be really excited to have a Ryan Long, a Daniel Palachuk, Ashley St. Claire, you. Yeah.

Yeah. Super cool. But do, super racist. I mean, yeah, it'd be, it'd be really, really great. Oh, I'm just looking for all the, anyway, we should wrap up, you. Yeah. Yeah, super cool. Super racist. I mean, yeah, it'd be really, really great. Oh, I'm just looking for... Anyway, we should wrap up now so I can go to bed. But thank you, everybody, for hanging out. We'll be back tomorrow.

Friday in the culture where Eric Prince is coming. Yes, it's going to be really interesting. I'd love to be there. I mean, I'm going to talk so much about war, it's going to be fascinating. So anyway, thanks for hanging out, guys, and we'll see you all tomorrow. Cheers. it's gonna be fascinating so anyway thanks for hanging out guys and we'll see you all tomorrow you