Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 104 - The Children of God Sex Cult

Episode Date: September 10, 2018

The Children of God cult aka The Family aka The Family International is still around today which is very disturbing considering their twisted origins and disgusting, sexually exploitive doctrinal past.... Founded by David "Huge Perv" Berg in 1968 in Huntington Beach, California, they now operate to an unknown degree internationally, basing their existence in a highly sexualized interpretation of Biblical teachings, interpreting God's love as being expressed best through sex. Berg initially took a second wife saying it was God's will, as cult leaders so often do. He then began showing his followers "God's love" first through secret orgies with high-ranking members, then through the demand to share cult member's wives, who were suddenly forbidden to deny male members "God's love". David then commanded female members to spread God's love and do missionary work, which centered around "Flirty Fishing", i.e., having sex with random dudes to encourage them to join the cult. From there, women members, were pushed into "Hooking for Jesus" - outright prostitution. And from there, members were encouraged to show their children "God's love" as outright pedophilia was sanctioned and encouraged, even when it was incestuous. All based on creative Biblical interpretation of course! This people are insane. And you learn all about them in today's fascinating and mind-boggling edition of Timesuck! Timesuck is brought to you today by Away! For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com/timesuck and use promo code TIMESUCK during checkout Timesuck is also brought to you by The Great Courses Plus! To access your free trial with unlimited access to their vase library of incredible courses, visit TheGreatCoursesPlus.com/TIMESUCK Sign up today! It's free! Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 3000 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits. And, thank you for supporting the show by doing your Amazon shopping after clicking on my Amazon link at www.timesuckpodcast.com

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 According to thefamilyinternational.org, the website for the latest incarnation of the children of God Cult, the family international is an online Christian community of individuals committed to sharing the message of God's love with people around the globe. Founded in California during the late 1960s, the family international has expanded into an international network with members currently in over 80 countries. TFI is a network of globally minded, locally focused individuals. We are committed to bettering our world through empowering people to develop a personal relationship with God who can in turn affect change in their part of the world.
Starting point is 00:00:35 Members of TFI have been active in mission and charitable work in 95 countries for over four decades. Well, according to my research, the research of my team and according to the information presented in a variety of documentaries, investigative journalism articles, and the testimony of numerous former members, the children of God historically has been mostly committed to misogyny, coerced prostitution, and kid fucking. Seriously, family international aka the children of God does seem to have been committed to sharing the message of God's love It's just that their interpretation has been well wildly radically different from most other Christian churches
Starting point is 00:01:13 pedophile overall sex-fiend founder and former leader David Berg top both male and female members to think about having sex with Jesus when they masturbated But he was also against male homosexual sex. How does that work? Well, David taught male members that when a man masturbates and is having fantasy sex with Jesus like a good Christian, he pretends to be a woman. Makes sense. Sound like some solid, traditional Christian dogma. If so, you might want to sign up. I'm sure they'll be happy to have you.
Starting point is 00:01:41 They're still around. David also taught women followers that turning down male church members sexual advances, whether they were wanted or not, was sinful. So also pro rape. David ended marriages. He saw fit, assigned new marriages, and encouraged female members to literally prostitute themselves to both entice new male members and also raise money for his church. He broke up families, scattered, the splintered remains to various corners of the globe. His own daughters would even claim that he made sexual advances towards them. David openly advocated incest, writing in one newsletter, I read, said, who better to teach you about love than your parents?
Starting point is 00:02:22 Love in this case, meaning sex. Feel sick to your stomach? Maybe just vomit in your mouth a little bit? Congrats, you're one of the good ones. According to Family International aka the Children of God's website, as a community of faith, the family international is committed to promoting the well-being of children and their need for quality care, education, and supervision. We promote the importance of children's development in a healthy, happy, loving, safe, caring environment where there needs, physical, spiritual, intellectual, educational, and emotional are Amply met. Yeah, Amply met indeed. Former member states that children were routinely molested by church members, found her David Berg teaching that children should be allowed to express
Starting point is 00:03:03 their sexuality as it was a testament to God's love Children were also at various periods in the church's history for bitten from basic education Toth that education was pointless as the world was for sure ending soon and worldly skills would be useless David Berg for the majority of his leadership taught all of these important biblical messages and more his leadership, taught all of these important biblical messages, and more via letters he sent from wherever he was currently hiding from angry parents and governmental investigations. One of his letters is called Little Girl Dream. It describes an alleged religious vision sent directly from God. Two David, David experienced it as a dream, a dream where he was having sex with a young
Starting point is 00:03:40 girl and initially feeling guilty about it, but then realized that the little girl enjoys it. So why should you feel bad? He wrote, I was afraid to give it to her because of what people, systemite church people obviously would say. This, of course, our greatest risk, incurring the wrath of the church and system
Starting point is 00:03:56 and loving this new little church that's springing up with such fervor. It was almost like she was deliberately trying to get me to make love to her so she could bear fruit. And this dude, teaching these things, started a very successful cult in 1968 that survives to this day. David Burke was an aggressively active pedophile who raped and molested who knows how many
Starting point is 00:04:17 members. Luckily he's long dead. Sadly, he lived a long, seemingly happy life before he died. If only he could have suffered a violent lawnmower accident as a teen and blood out to the hole under his penis, where his balls used to be. Burke was never caught by authorities. He died long before the Me Too movement. He hid long enough, moved from country to country, often enough to avoid prosecution or even legal charges, but he was guilty. Look into this tale at all and there is zero question that
Starting point is 00:04:42 this delusional destructive manipulative predatory dirtbag with guilty. So is the family international still an organization based in manipulation, exploitation, and pedophilia possibly? But there are no recent headlines to attest to this. Maybe they're just doing a good job of keeping their current deplorable teachings hidden. Despite no current allegations, at least not publicly, I know I sure as shit would not trust a member to babysit my kids. Why do they still exist?
Starting point is 00:05:09 Why would you keep an organization founded in sexual exploitation alive at all? Name change or not? Well, because maybe they're secretly up to the same old creepy shit. Maybe because religion and reason don't have to be roommates. The gap between the two can be as wide
Starting point is 00:05:22 as anyone wishes them to be. And also maybe because brainwashing is a very real and powerful phenomenon. Current leaders actually deny the well-documented pedophilia and sexual exploitation of the church's past. As if none of it ever happened, they do believe that David Berg founded their church. They do believe David Berg define their core beliefs. They do believe they got spoke through David Berg. They still read Burke's teachings. And his teachings are riddled with sexual perverse messages, but they pretend not to believe he meant them
Starting point is 00:05:51 as they wrote them, I guess. So how does some creepy wizard-looking Gandalf beard having sex maniac launch a church that would create over 100 different active orgy-having compounds in over 40 countries around the world. Find out today in a full cult, full crazy, careful who you choose to worship Happy Monday time suckers. Hail Nimrod. Dan Cummins, aka the master sucker and you are listening to TimeSuck.
Starting point is 00:06:33 Welcome back to the only acceptable cult to be a member of in the world. A cult where the leader is not trying to screw you or more importantly trying to screw your kids. It's a cult of curious. Recording in the Idaho Suck dungeon, even though when this releases, I'll be in the sunny so-count, performing in Hollywood and then Oxnard, life is good.
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Starting point is 00:07:05 She's busy bee Today's time suck is brought to you by the same kick-ass podcast that brought you the suck last week and that's why we drink Are you listening yet? Are you scared yet? Have you ever found yourself exploring the intersection of true crime and the paranormal? Join host M team milkshake and Christine team wine every week to discuss ghost murder and everything else that makes them drink. Get ready to leave the lights on. Get ready to pull your covers over your head.
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Starting point is 00:10:50 I'm performing at Hollywood Improv, on Melrose September 12th, I'll be just north of LA and Oxnard the rest of the week in the weekend, September 13th to 16th. Last SoCal show, that's not true. Actually, I'll be coming to Huntington Beach, also on October 5th and 6th. Last LA airy shows, how about that? Is that true? That's not true. Actually, I'll be coming to Huntington Beach, also on October 5th and 6th.
Starting point is 00:11:05 Less LA area shows. How about that? Is that true? Ticket links also available for September 27th to 29th in Portland, Oregon. No, we're near LA at Helium, live metamorphosis, narcos, satanist, cult podcast, doing that on the 30th.
Starting point is 00:11:20 And then, yes, back in Huntington Beach, October 5th and 6th, actually where today's story begins, truly, and as far as starting the cult sense, it started in Huntington Beach. It used to be kind of the hate ashbury of Southern California, one of America's epicenters for the counterculture moving to the 60s and 70s. Be the rec room, dishing out my counterculture stand up rhetoric. Then back to the Northwest, hit into coma October 11 to 13th with another live. Batamoros Narcosatian is cult on October 14th. Rest of this year's tour dates, Dan
Starting point is 00:11:49 Cummins dot TV. Maybe I'm the problem dropping on vinyl this Saturday, September 15th, noon, Pacific time, via Romana's records scoop them up. Link to custom limited edition pressings in the Romana's record store in the episode description space search Which can order now exclusive space search or preorder link in the recent episode description to the secret suck And now on to today's ear candy on to today's free entertainment the price of free love Really explored as we suck on the strange sexual Christian cult the children of God called the children of God. All right, 1968, Huntington Beach, counter culture movement, full swing, the flower children. They'd bloomed in San Francisco and also Southern California during 1967 summer of love.
Starting point is 00:12:39 America's youth protesting the Vietnam War, rebelling against almost everything their parents had taught them. Their question, their parents and their country's values. They didn't want two kids in a house in the suburbs. They didn't want to go to a judgemental guilt-laden church on Sunday, work a traditional job of the rest of the week and live in a traditional sexless and spiritually unfulfilling marriage all of the time. They wanted sex, drugs and rock and roll.
Starting point is 00:13:00 It was a perfect time for all of that. AIDS hadn't hit yet. Doctors realized Penicilla would knock out most everything else, including syphilis. The birth control pill came out in 1960 and was just becoming mainstream public knowledge by the end of the decade. Anel Lube was invented also in 1960. And by 1967, over 80% of sexually active men and women in the US under the age of 35 were regularly practicing anal sex according to CDC information.
Starting point is 00:13:29 In fact, roughly 15% of ER visits in California in 1969 would be related to anal sex accidents. A recent Mayo Clinic survey conducted last year found that 65% of Americans over the age of 65 had either tried or were very into anal sex at one point during their lives. Now, now listen up, I just made up that anal sex stuff. Sorry, I just, I did it hoping that at least one of you was really starting to think that your parents and or grandparents were a lot wilder and kinkier
Starting point is 00:14:01 than you ever imagined. Just sweet nana. Enjoying a little backdoor lovein'. Not so fast grandpa, not so fast. Let me guide it in. Slow and steady wins race. Hey, Lucifina. Parents, listen with your kids right now.
Starting point is 00:14:13 Have fun explaining that one. You're welcome. It's better to hear from you, right? I'm just gonna use that thought to rationalize all the stuff I just said. For real though, people were experimenting with new stuff. Maybe not as much of the butt stuff, but they were experimenting with new stuff. Maybe not as much of the butt stuff, but they were experimenting with new stuff.
Starting point is 00:14:27 That part's true. America's hippies, they wanted something different. They didn't want the same old, same old. And then some of them met one David Burke. David was already 49 years old, 1968, as older, older than many of the parents of the potential converts he was speaking to. But he didn't look like their parents.
Starting point is 00:14:43 He didn't act like their parents. He sure as hell didn't worship like their parents. He preached a very different gospel than the hippie kids of Huntington Beach were used to hearing. David's own teenage children convinced Huntington Beach youth to swing on over to the Huntington Beach light club, a Pentecostal evangelical ministry coffee house run by a local organization called Teen Challenge. At this little coffee shop, they listened to the charismatic Bergs, anti-church, anti-establishment sermons and a non-church setting where they were offered food, shelter, music. They found a parental figure who, rather than shunning their hippie
Starting point is 00:15:13 lifestyle incorporated it into his new movement. Berg gradually developed a small communal group of about 35 initial followers. He preached that the end was imminent, encouraging converts to move it, move it, move in with him. Developed their lives to Christ, a Christ who wasn't interested in squashing their new free love spirit. And Berg's group continued to grow before he convinced his new followers to pack up and begin following him around the world. Berg was insane.
Starting point is 00:15:38 He was a manipulative, sexual predator, but he was one who was very, very good at playing the part of cult leader, which made sense in his case. It was basically his destiny. He was raised to be a cult leader. Believe in you, you're one of God's chosen leaders and more importantly, you've been able to convince others that you want to God's profits was in David's blood. He came from a long line of zealots and outright con artists and his insane mother told him at a young age that God had big plans for him.
Starting point is 00:16:01 So let's explore that lineage figure out where this guy came from. Look into the fruition of one mad man's highly sexualized religious vision in today's time suck timeline. Shrap on those boots soldier, we're marching down a time suck timeline. On October 26, 1860, David Bergs grandfather John Lincoln Brandt is born and a little thousand person town of Somerset, Ohio. He's surprisingly not listed among their notable people on Wikipedia. Philip Sheridan was a union general in the Civil War, who was a big early Fannie Yellowstone National Park.
Starting point is 00:16:42 At the first US cavalry into the park in 1886, where they fought a war against a large population of bear people. This would end with the bear people's extinction in 1903, and that's fucking crazy. No, the US cavalry would protect the park from looters and poachers until the National Park Service took over in 1916. So how about that extra bit of knowledge? John Brandt would experience a dramatic conversion to Christianity in his mid-20s. He would then travel the world, spread the gospel of the Alexander Campbell movement, an evangelical-based movement that developed into the disciples
Starting point is 00:17:13 of Christ, Christian church. John was the author of 16 books. He passed through some 50 churches in his lifetime, as well as lecturing throughout the United States, Canada, Mexico, Europe, Asia, Africa, the Pacific Islands. And he was getting around back when it wasn't as easy to travel. He was adamant that the teachings of Christ be spread through enthusiastic evangelicalism through song and dance. He lectured throughout the United States again all over the place, became a millionaire through his lectures, writings and shrewd investments. And on May 27th, 1886, John witnessed the birth of his daughter, David's mother, Virginia Brandt, later to become a Virginia Brandt Burke, and Virginia would grow to become absolutely
Starting point is 00:17:55 bat shit crazy. Virginia was raised in wealth and luxury, traveling the world with her father after her crisis of faith while in college and about of suicidal depression, following the death of her mother, Virginia dedicated her life to God as well. Virginia once engaged to Bruce Bogart wealthy cousin of Humphrey Bogart met Hedgehammer a manual burg described as a handsome Swedish tenor. Doop doop doop doop and fell in love. I'm sorry.
Starting point is 00:18:21 I shouldn't be. It's just automatically pops into my head when I hear the word Swedish and they fell in love and loathe She really wasn't engaged to Bruce Bogart. I found that funny for some reason like in my mind Bruce continually just disappointed people The name is Bogart. Home free. Oh my god. Are you home free Bogart sir? No, I'm I'm Bruce. I'm Bruce Bogart. Home free's my cousin Can you please get him to sign a photo for me sir? God, I'm freeze, I'm freeze my cousin. Can you please get him to sign a photo for me, sir? No, no, we barely speak. We just cousins haven't sent him in three things.
Starting point is 00:18:48 Giving since he took the last of the cranberry sauce, like the selfish Hollywood turd he is. Now, please, just, just find me a table. I'll stop now. Under the influence of his new father-in-law, he, John Merberg, enrolled in a theological seminary in Des Moines, Iowa, and became an ordained minister of the disciples of Christ. Of course, he did. Got to please rich daddy-in-law. However, he was eventually expelled from the church, along with his wife Virginia Brandtburg, because of claims they both made regarding her divine healing.
Starting point is 00:19:17 Here's where the crazy comes. Hedgehammer and Virginia began touring the country as tent revival snake charmer snake oil salesman evangelist Uh, they're preaching centered on Virginia's testimony of her healing. She's a healer you guys. She's a healer Uh, Virginia claimed to have been injured in an auto accident that left her paralyzed and bedridden for nearly six years And then suddenly through Christ mercy She was healed and popped right up and walked straight into church from deathbed to Pope and hallelujah Impressive if true, but it was a story disputed by basically everyone who knew her. It was especially disputed by her immediate family who tried reminding Virginia and others that during her supposed period of paralysis,
Starting point is 00:19:58 she was up and around and all kinds of stuff. From 1911 to 1917, the year she claimed to be totally paralyzed, Virginia had in fact led a very active life in church affairs. She had both conceived and given birth to a daughter. Had attended graduate school at Texas Christian University of school, not exactly wheelchair accessible before 1920. There was not a single photo of her in a wheelchair. Article written 1913 reported the arrival of Reverend H. E. Berg and his wife and weather
Starting point is 00:20:24 for Texas to pass to the Central Christian church in 1913 describing her as quote standing ready at any time to fill the pulpit. Still Virginia used her testimony of healing throughout her life to establish herself as a woman of God and a lot of people bought it. You know, stories like this that helped me understand how people believe in the Illuminati or like the flat earth. Like sometimes I'll think when reading some crazy conspiracy, how could anyone believe this horse shit? It doesn't make any sense. There's no evidence. It flies in the face of basic common sense and logic.
Starting point is 00:20:57 And then I'll read a story like today's tale and remember, oh yeah. There have always been plenty of people who don't need shit to make any sense whatsoever to believe in it The world has always been full of people who either have zero critical thinking skills or just refuse to use them in certain areas of their life People who just you know, they want something to be true and then figuratively just put their fingers in their ears and just shout no No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know, like whenever somebody presents evidence that what they believe in may be a bunch of nonsensical bullshit, you know, they believe in an idea. I think mostly because it makes them feel good to believe in it. They believe in a feeling essentially. Or maybe they believe because of spoken or unspoken social pressure, maybe because others they care about believing it
Starting point is 00:21:37 or believed in it, you know, the idea of the belief emotionally ties them to an nostalgic past or to loved ones. You know, it's a time when life was better or, you know, or hope that life will be better. Or maybe they believe because believing in it allows them to quit worrying about the answers to troubling questions like, why are we here? What is the point of any of this? What happens when we die? These are all kinds of reasons that make emotional sense to me for others to
Starting point is 00:21:57 choose to believe in all kinds of just completely irrational things. And for a certain kind of person, if you try to fuck with any of the answers to life's hard questions like, you know, the answers they've come up with, and you try to fuck with any of the answers to life's hard questions like you know the answers they've come up with man you're the devil you're the Illuminati Nice try you silver tongue trickster oh man you sure do you sound like you make a lot of sense your story sure add up your points sure seem to be logical and impossible for me to refute or are you against I would believe what you're telling me that my core belief system is nothing more than the paranoid fantasies of a madman but I was warned about you devil haha I would believe what you're telling me. Did my core belief system with nothing more than the paranoid fantasies of a madman?
Starting point is 00:22:25 But I was warned about you devil. Ha ha! I told you the master of lies. Nice try. Anything you say is a lie. And anything I believe is truth. That's how we're going to play this game. Now if you excuse me, I have to put my fingers back on my ears. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This reaction makes cult so dangerous. Once a person goes to this mental place with a dangerous cult, almost impossible to get them back out. So despite plenty of evidence that Virginia was absolutely full of shit, people believed her tales of a raqqas god whom are acasly healer. Because I'm guessing, you know, a world that includes a god like that is better than a
Starting point is 00:23:00 world that doesn't, you know, god like that might cure them when they need it. Virginia gave birth to the first of her three children, Hajalma, Berg, Jr. in 1911. Virginia, Berg, Jr. in 1915, and the last other kids born in February, 1919, David, Brandt, and Berg. Now I'm really done. I think Dave was born in Oakland, California during his parents' missionary trips around the country, traveling to hold revivals as the Berg Evangelist, wait, Evangelistic, dramatic company. Oh man, that's a mouthful. Traveled as the Berg Evangelistic, dramatic company.
Starting point is 00:23:37 Her parents were based out of Miami until 1928, pastoring a number of churches around the area, and Dave would grow up a up accompanying his mother on her Evangelical journeys and become a young pastor himself He'd also allegedly be sexually molested by adults of both sexes during his childhood even having an incestuous Sexual relationship with a female cousin at age seven became obsessed with sex and masturbation by the time he was a teen all of which conflicted with his mother's strict moral upbringing. And this, you know, kind of reveals a lot about why he formed the kind of mythology, I think he did.
Starting point is 00:24:10 You know, clearly the seeds of childhood sexuality and are twang with Christian doctrine or stone here, the focus on incest, the notion to claim that God is speaking through you and asking you to lead others is an ideal illustrated to him on a daily basis by his mother. In 1941, 22-year-old David Berg drafted into the army, sent to Fort Belvoir, Virginia, home with US Army engineers. Berg claimed to have had double pneumonia in 1942, excuse me, and while on his deathbed, promised God his lifetime service and was immediately miraculously healed. He claimed that doctors had discharged him, given him only one year to live due to a fragile
Starting point is 00:24:48 heart condition. Yet, he lived many years. No proof of this can be found, and it sounds to me this is the story about his realist's mom's paralysis story. 1944, just a family of liars. 1944, David Berg met Jane Miller, a little church, a Sherman Oaks, California, where she was working as a church secretary and youth director I love Sherman Oaks. I think it's super cute. A cute little mainstream create restaurants. Really fun comic book shop
Starting point is 00:25:13 I've been to a couple times. Anyway, without the blessing of Jane's tightly-knit Baptist family for the relationship David and Jane alope to Mary on July 22nd 1944 and Glendale California, which means there's a good chance one or both of them are Armenian. Um, as a joke, the people from the Glendale area will get. Jane had to have known David was a little strange when she met him, a little taken with the spirit, but man, he would get so much stranger. 1948 following his father's footsteps, David becomes an ordained minister of the church, or excuse me, of the Christian and missionary alliance pastoring his small church in Valley Farms Arizona.
Starting point is 00:25:49 The burgs would eventually have four kids together, all instrumental to the founding of the children of God movement. David's wife Jane would later become known as mother Eve to members. That's fun. 1950 David Burke had a falling out with certain missionary alliance leadership. He would later claim that he was unjustly removed from the pastorate because of his strong sermons and integration policies. Now, his sermons were too strong, you guys.
Starting point is 00:26:11 It is to a jealous. Basically, everyone else would later claim that he got kicked out for having an affair with the member of the congregation. I'm guessing, I'm strongly guessing that one's the truth. David was spent his getting kicked out for fucking the wife of one of the people he was supposed to be teaching gods were to and to him becoming the victim. He developed a deep seated hatred towards established churches around this time. This hatred would later become, you know, one of the foundational doctrines of the children of God. He later write
Starting point is 00:26:37 Embittered and sick of the whole hypocritical church system. They don't let me fuck anyone. He didn't write that part. I nearly became a communist. I returned to college on the GI Bill, determined to study philosophy, psychology, and political science rather than religion, and became seriously involved in the study of socialism and communism. During his communist sabbatical, David Bergthott in cavalry junior high school drove a school bus for several years, for the remaining years 1950s, Bergh often took his family on the road as he did his own wandering out into the wilderness period of soul searching, working as a preacher, generally outside the shelter of church denominations, relying
Starting point is 00:27:14 on the kindness and cheritives, strangers they would meet. During the 50s up until 1967, David Bergh worked for the Fred Jordan or workforce, excuse me, the Fred Jordan, worked for Fred Jordan of the sole clinic in Los Angeles promoting his TV program called Church in the Home. So kind of like an early public access type thing. There he seemed to temporarily find his niche and Jordan's radical missionary witnessing movement, gaining a quasi-military zeal for personal witnessing.
Starting point is 00:27:41 An emphasis which remains a major part of the children of God family and international to this day. Personal witnessing for any fellow non-believers is sharing your own personal story of salvation to Christ. Generally told in the hopes of converting someone, one church website described this way saying, Christian witnessing is merely sharing our heartfelt faith in Christ, what he's personally done to change our individual lives. Another website laid out an outline for prepping your witnessing story, saying, pray before you ride out and share your story,
Starting point is 00:28:10 write the way you speak. Don't be overly negative or positive, be honest. Don't criticize or name any church, denomination, organization, et cetera. Think about your listeners, avoid overly religious terms. Don't spook them. Keep it short.
Starting point is 00:28:24 Ain't to tell your story in three to five minutes. Practice telling your story until it becomes natural. Keep your wean in your pants. That's I added that one. But that's that's solid. Not part of their things, but good advice. Keep it in keeping it short. 1965 was a big year for David. His mom, Virginia, really helped him finish shaping his finish shaping his destiny this year. Her other two kids at left the church and 46-year-old David was only hope as far as carrying out the family's religious legacy. In addition, her father, there were several other pastor and religious figures in the family tree going back at least a couple hundred
Starting point is 00:28:55 years. 1965 Virginia Berg personally delivered to her son David a warning prophecy. She claimed to have received from God. Now, what's a warning? Prophecy, you ask? It is the wackadoodle rantings of a delusional and or manipulative maniac who thinks they're acting as God's conduit. Basically, Virginia thought she received important messages from God from time to time as lunatics do. She thought she was God's answer machine. You know, God's voice melt because, you know, even though he's an omnipotent, all-powerful, creative force, too powerful for a human mind, even fully comprehend, he apparently is not powerful enough just to speak to everybody at once.
Starting point is 00:29:31 Now, he's got to find somebody like Virginia to relay his messages. That makes sense. Then in 1966, she delivered another prophecy declaring that David had received the understanding of Daniel to know the number of years until the end of desolations. I always love the language in these. The end of desolations. Very important sounding. These messages were pivotal in David's life and the basis for his belief that his own life was inextricably linked to the last seven years of the world history. David shortly thereafter developed his belief that God had a special destiny and mission for him.
Starting point is 00:30:04 And would eventually begin making personal claims as the prophet of his generation. Yeah, just what the world needed. Yet another ridiculous asshole who thinks their God's action star playing the main part in the greatest movie of all time, the last days of earth. I've said it before in the suck and I'll say it again man, the one thing all of these apocalyptic uh, just you know, assholes haven't come common is that they're all wrong every single time. Not one has ever been right. Not one time. Just remember that the next time somebody tries to sell you on some notion of impending doom and God's wrath, always wrong. Always around the time of these prophecies, David and his wife and kids moved to Florida, Berg found it a missionary
Starting point is 00:30:43 training school in Miami called it the Florida Soul Clinic, and then the Berg, the Berg's were ejected from Miami by local authorities for using overly aggressive tactics for spreading their message. Love that. We should add more details on how they were pressured to leave. Berg blamed his trouble on the Jews. Uh-huh.
Starting point is 00:31:00 Explaining that they had rejected his message and used their Jewish influence to drive him out of the city of Miami. Ah, he's one of those assholes too, man. One who blames the Jews for the troubles. Man, I'd have this credit card paid off if it wasn't for the Jews. My wife just left me.
Starting point is 00:31:14 Why? Well, I'm not totally sure other than I know that the Jews had something to do with it. God damn it, there's two to melt, there's soggy. Damn you, Jews. Can't even let me enjoy a crunchy lunch sandwich If you're getting ran out of Florida, Bergen his family spent some time with the sole clinic ranch in Mingus, Texas a lot of so clinic stuff
Starting point is 00:31:35 The property of his former employee employer Fred Jordan the began living his traveling evangelist then I trained his kids to be involved in his Ministry and moved from town to town Becoming evangelical singers calling themselves a teens or Christ. By his own accounts during this period, Berg was already in conflict with traditional church values regarding sex, infidelity and adultery. Of course he was. He later told us followers that he visited prostitutes and adulterists and fairs while on the road, away from his wife, according to Berg's immediate family, he also had affairs with housekeepers, living guests, and governesses.
Starting point is 00:32:09 That's interesting, one of them is some governesses. Man, dude, just could not keep his boner and check. Sounds like a sex addict. There's not a competition, man. You don't have to fuck everybody. Bergs also began making sexual advances to his daughters in the 1960s. The true creepy was, at least six women, including members of his immediate family,
Starting point is 00:32:27 would eventually come forward claiming that Berg molested them as children. Who knows how many women were molested but just haven't come forward? And for not making enough money to provide for his family and getting kicked out of time after town for fucking everybody, Berg moves the fam to Huntington Beach, California, moves in with his mom, just like a true 49 year old champion. That's when you know you're really God's chosen prophet when you have to move in with mommy, it's to move back in with mommy at 49 years old. That's the only the best, the only cream of the crop get to be God's prophets. When mommy died later in 1968, Burke, who'd always had a talent for reaching and or molesting the youth,
Starting point is 00:33:01 decided to minister what he considered to be the last sheep of the counterculture began preaching to the hippies. Oh hippies. In the late 1960s, Huntington Beach was to Southern California, what hate ashbury was to San Francisco, right? The counterculture pitted against the establishment. And like I said at the top of the episode, Berg used his teenage children to lure potential converts over to the Huntington Beach Light Club at Pentecostal coffee shop here in Speak, gathered a few dozen members, subjected to new followers to intensive biblical studies, memorization of Bible verses and references, training them to evangelize, to convert new members. Initially, he kept his messages to Biblically based teachings. He may not have had the
Starting point is 00:33:37 Bible actually memorized like Branch Davidian leader, David Kharash, but pretty damn close. You know, he was, he waited a bit to play the God wants you to pray via my dick, Rasputin card. Early on, Berg did use verses from the Bible to justify teachings that true disciples of Christ almost drop out and forsake all. Luke chapter 14, verse 33, can't get into Bible. He interpreted this verse as literally meaning
Starting point is 00:34:00 to abandon all responsibilities and sever ties with any and all job school family friends. At the height of the hippie era, in the midst of sentiments against materialism and ownership, Bergmaid's followers return home to their parent to spoil Egypt. Exodus 1236. To claim all that they could is theirs, then sell everything they owned and hand over the entire proceeds to him. Big, big, big red cult flag here.
Starting point is 00:34:23 When you're selling your shit and cutting ties to your family, per the instructions of your new religious leader, congratulations, you are for sure in a cult now. By early 1969, Bergs movement had grown to about 50 followers. No, it's steady, steady growth. Due to words, spreading around that Bergs was convincing local youth to take their parents' shit and also cut ties to their families, Public pressure begins to mount for him to leave. Not coincidentally, Berg then receives a message from God that a monstrous earthquake would
Starting point is 00:34:52 soon destroy the coastal cities of California. And he warned his members to leave. It was imminent. They must leave before the earthquakes destroyed everything. Over two decades later, when earthquakes still hadn't hit and Berg was still alive, how do you explain that to your followers? Reminds me of martial app white. Constantly telling his early heavens gate followers,
Starting point is 00:35:10 remember from that suck, like the aliens were coming to pick him up, such and such time, such and such place, and it just kept not happening. Did I say massive earthquake? Ha ha! Oh no! Ah, no! I, what I said, I believe,
Starting point is 00:35:24 if I recall was, was, God, I, what I said, I believe, if I recall, was, was, um, got put me on a spot here. Passive smurf snake is what I said. That's what I said. I said a passive smurf snake would show up on the California coast and what that means if you were paying attention, was that the smurf cartoons would be written in producing California, the devil's cartoon. And it was best that we not be around the devil's
Starting point is 00:35:45 influence. Hey, what kind of bird is that? Look over there. Man, cool bird. Okay, great talk. And I got to go do some more church stuff now. Bergs brand of revolutionaries for Jesus fled the rats of their parents in the median California, hit the road and convoy the trailers. They traveled in smaller groups down to Tucson, Arizona, where they were eventually expelled from Tucson for staging demonstrations and disruptions to church services. They were forced to move from town to town. They wanted to throw out much to the United States and Canada staging demonstrations and urging others to join.
Starting point is 00:36:16 I just been annoying dirty hippies. In February 1970, some 150 members of the group established a 425 acre colony, a few miles from the ghost town of Thurber, Texas. This acreage known as the Texas South Clinic Ranch TSE was owned by the American Soul Clinic Group, that same group, non-denominational missionary organization, right? Heated by that television evangelist and friend of David's Fred Jordan, his former employer in the 1950s. From the Texas Soul Clinic teams were sent out in road trips to other cities to win converts established new colonies eventually regrouping in lorantide near Montreal, Canada some 3000 miles away crazy man in 1970 the braged-to-video compound outside of wake o' Texas compound that would later be rated based on allegations of pedophilia alive and well a little over 10 years
Starting point is 00:37:01 before the arrival of David Kresh and another insane religious compound exists, only a two hours drive away in Thurber. Man, land of zealots back in the 1970s. Wonder how many exist now? How many compounds are out there in Texas? Marshall, Apple, why? Also in Texas, got his initial Heavens Gate, ideas in Texas. Go big or go home, you know?
Starting point is 00:37:21 It's big in Texas, including cults. David himself, however, did not initially settle in Texas with 150 of his followers. He and 20 of the other followers, they went to that, you know, uh, Camploran, Tide outside of Montreal, established a World Headquarters and finally openly started banging other cult members. He'd been waiting for months. He's done hiding his God boners. He wrote his first, what would be his many, uh, mo letters, mo was short from Moses as in Moses, David, a name he adopted. That's another big red, just get the fuck out of this cult now flag.
Starting point is 00:37:51 When your leader changes his or her birth name to a new culty, sounding name, like if I ever legally changed my name to Nimrod, get out. Stop listening. It's time to show all this down. Berg revealed that he received a prophecy in August 26, 1960, 90, called a prophecy of God on the old church and the new church. They contained language like, they claim to be mine, my wife, my church, but the relationship is in name only. There is no other relationship, there is no other communion.
Starting point is 00:38:16 They have no other intercourse, and they bear no children. Therefore, this is hypocrisy and not the marriage, this is pretentious and not love. And therefore, shall the old vestures be removed and shall be clothed in a new garment and a new look, and all things shall become new and old, things shall pass away and I will have a new bride, who will love me and obey me, and do my will and bear me children. No longer bear in as she was, for this is my will, for this last generation, and I will take the weak things to confound the mighty, the foolish things to bring not the wisdom of the wise
Starting point is 00:38:49 and raise up her. That was not as though she were, like in Christ's talk, another big red cold flag. When someone claims to speak on behalf of God and uses King James English to do so, right? Like as if this omnipotent God is still living just, you know, in medieval Europe. Like as if God has an updated His link out. Right? Like think about how crazy that is.
Starting point is 00:39:11 That shit makes no sense. As if the and thou and thus is just the way that God prefers to speak. Can you imagine if some divine power suddenly did just reveal itself in the sky and it really did talk like that? Thou need us to listen to me if now For I have an important this message for the end I went behind Some random hey god. Can you update the the lingo a little bit bro? Times of change my man. Oh Yes, oh, yes, of course. Sorry about that. Listen up motherfuckers. I have some important knowledge drop on your ass But your fucking phones down for a second. Look towards heaven.
Starting point is 00:39:45 You don't want to see me get angry. Is that better? Nah, hashtag, focus, fuck. Totally God. Thank you. Way better. Thank you. Anyway, David used his weird King James profit speak to announce he had taken a new bride
Starting point is 00:39:56 in addition to his current wife. His old wife was the old church and his new wife was the new church. Hmm. I don't think Lindsey would let me get away with that at home. Lindsey, this is Sarah. 19-year-old, it is half-metath, half the gym. She will share a thaw, beteth, noweth. Please don't get madeth.
Starting point is 00:40:16 This God's willeth. She's the new church. You're still my old church. You're your old church. Which is pretty cool, is it still churcheth? That's pretty good, is it right, is it pretty cool. It's still church. That's pretty good as right. It's Karen's Erby. His mistress would take on the biblical name Maria. She's new church, his wife and mother of his kid. They're out, man. Out with the old and with the new.
Starting point is 00:40:37 I can get out there. Get out of here, old wife. Got a new wife. The first mill letter marked the beginning of Burys pattern of thanks fine and justifying his actions and policies to his followers. Followers, excuse me, by means of prophetic utterances, he would soon proclaim himself God's end-time profit. Speaking God's words for today, using verses and examples from scripture to justify his new doctrines, which he elevated to the level of scripture, his word is God's word. As a result of Bergs' example in urging sexual promiscuity, free sex and
Starting point is 00:41:05 partner swapping became rampant amongst those children, amongst the children of God's leadership. For a time, however, though, these practices remain hidden from the general rank and file members. They were not introduced into the mid 1970s for everybody. Also 1970, group members began engaging in a weird sack cloth cloth in weird, excuse me, sack cloth demonstrations around the US, dressing up in sack cloths, putting ash all over their faces, gathering in places like Times Square, New York City, outside the UN headquarters, yelling at strangers, you know, basically that kind of rhetoric of the end is near. So join our cult. So you don't go to hell, you know, that kind of shit you see in those places today.
Starting point is 00:41:42 After one of these demonstrations, the journalist's bunch of members camped on a junkyard behind a truck stop in canton, New Jersey Called him the children of God in the name stuck I guess that's a better nickname than that children of junk You know, I could call them that could call them the dirt kids could call them Jesus's dumpster divers Considering the way that you know that burglary would weave Jesus and sex into his you know, creepy messias You know, they could have been called Jesus' come dumpsters. That's, that'll be an unfortunate nickname. But funny for today's story.
Starting point is 00:42:10 Also later in 1970, David and his candidate-based followers, they, they, they leave head to Thurber, Texas, join the rest of the group. He divided his followers into 12 tribes then, inspired by the 12 tribes of Israel, gives each tribe various responsibilities, camp maintenance, food preparation, livestock care, spit shining his ball sack, you know, camp stuff. David also imposed strict rules on his followers to keep everything within the camp budget, like a strict two sheet rule for toilet paper.
Starting point is 00:42:38 Seriously, that was the maximum amount of sheets you could use for number two in it. What the fuck? Does God not understand how messy a man shit can be? Two sheets, get out of here. Did he expect every shit to be a miracle? To me, that's a miracle. Only he didn't two sheets of toilet paper
Starting point is 00:42:52 to clean your ass ever taking a shit. That sounds heavenly. I can't even imagine that. Usually it's like a fucking, some kind of, what's that, not a FEMA thing? I mean, I think it's like a hampered site, like a toxic waste. Anyway, try to pull a joke out of the air. It wasn't there for me. David, try to pull another poop joke. Uh, this surrounding couldn't get David imposed a
Starting point is 00:43:14 buddy system that decree that members could not go anywhere without a partner. Alko and male was checked and censored for security. Has, has, Matt, that's what I was trying to think of earlier. I know that I know no one cares, but I care Now that the joke doesn't even is ruined Exhausted new members were subjected to relentless Bible classes and indoctrination their their buddy helped them in the Rote memorization of Bible pastures whenever possible even during their toilet activity seriously They're already in there with their fucking two sheets Trying to get the job done and they got somebody in the bathroom with them being like, ah, come on Come on you can you can wipe you can you can breathe fold that one square 17 times Trying to get the job done and they got somebody in the bathroom with them being like, ah, come on, come on.
Starting point is 00:43:45 You can wipe, you can, you can re-fold that one square 17 times as you try not to get it all over your fingers and learn a little bit of Corinthians. Why not? Another huge cold red flag here. When a group doesn't, you know, think it's a good idea for you to ever be alone. So you can never have time to think about whether or not you should be in the group. Any group like that is not a group you should join. Yeah, Burger himself of course, in his family,
Starting point is 00:44:11 his immediate circle of leadership, they didn't follow these rules. Nah, God knew that Burger needed plenty to other paper to wipe his extra special asshole. Burger and his inner circle enjoyed special privileges, his other followers lived in horrible conditions, relying on the charity of strangers, often eating rotting food or discarded animal feed from nearby farms, according to one thing I read.
Starting point is 00:44:31 God clearly didn't like those people as much as he liked David. God's will be done, eat the leftover cattle feed, you swine. The children of God were featured on Fred Jordan's Los Angeles television program, church in the home in the early 70s, soliciting funds from the viewing public, making that cult money. Bros. Shurs are printed, distributed.
Starting point is 00:44:48 I bet they left the two-ply thing off the brochure, but they left the eatin' the old cattle feed off there. They had a attractive picture of the ranch, advertised a three-month course, an intensive basic training, and then a three-month leadership training course. You can be a weird leader, not only three extra months. At the end of the six months of intensive indoctrination, any converts wishing to serve in full-time ministry
Starting point is 00:45:08 would then require duplie for a license for the gospel ministry sponsored by the American soul clinic. Ministerial licenses were issued and used for among other things draft dodgy. Ah, that's how they recruited people. Get a minister license. You don't have to go to NAM. Use the Vietnam War to your hippie cult advantage. Bojangles is disgusted. He's growling right now. Easy, Bojangles. Easy, easy, buddy. New children of God converts were taught, complete subservience to the group that the government was Satan. So not entirely wrong. Kidding kind of government listeners, we need you. Some of you, the rest of you, walk your kind of government listeners. We need you, some of you. Uh, the rest of you, walking reminded of bureaucratic red tape, you know I'm right. Come on, he'll never.
Starting point is 00:45:48 Uh, converts were taught to feel hostility towards established society, towards established religion. There were reported cases of converts being required to confess their past criminal of history on the paper, which was then used to convince their parents that these, uh, these kids were better off with the group. Also at the time, according to several foreign members in his immediate leadership circle, Berg led discussions amongst group leadership at the Thurberk colony, which would inevitably lead to sexual topics would then lead to orgies,
Starting point is 00:46:13 church orgies. Here we go. Just as Christ envisioned, God is good. First, the second wife now outright orgies, God will be done. Still, David continued this time to keep all these sexual exploits away from the general membership. This is just for the inner circle, right? The rest of them actually weren't it were at this time, so supposed to still live in celibacy. You know, promiscuity and fraternization with the opposite sex was, uh, were punishable offenses for the first few years for the lowly members. Talk about the haves and the have nots. The inner circle
Starting point is 00:46:42 literally fucking each other, wine, dine, 69, and while the peasants eaten cattle feet Sterin at boners are not supposed to stick anywhere Sterin at vaginas whose moisture isn't doing anything, but adding a little humidity to the already humid Texas air By the end of 1970 In hiding from angry parents and worried about being a Detained by law enforcement, Bergen is mistress, removed themselves from the group's Texas colony, they get out of the third bar, and they make their way about snowing only to top leaders.
Starting point is 00:47:09 I get it, you know, you're making a lot of enemies when you're constantly banging people's wives and brainwashing people's kids. Church leaders called Shepherds were pointed to lead individual colonies now, and regional Shepherds were pointed to supervised colonies and various geographical regions. These were in turn supervised by members of his immediate family who were given positions
Starting point is 00:47:27 of director. Berg continued exercising leadership and control of the group through his hierarchy and by issuing directives directly to his flock in the form of his mo letters. In April of 1971, David Berg and Maria flee to Europe moving to London. In a perfect world, their plane headed to London, crashed into playing head and salon and crash into the sea. And then they initially survived the crash, but then get attacked by sharks and then survive the shark attacks barely and make it to a desert island where they contact a rescue team who finds them right after their eyeballs are chewed out of their heads by Roanoke recluse
Starting point is 00:47:59 spiders who bite them to death. And then their entire organization goes away, but that's not the case. This is not a perfect world. They made it. They lived. At least they weren't able to travel in the comfort of today's sponsor. Take your piece of shit suitcase, shove it up your ass, or throw it in the trash, or if local ordinances allow it,
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Starting point is 00:49:08 man, I use it to Bluetooth, my headphones on my flight, check emails, text Lindsay, post on social media, watch movies on Netflix, Amazon HBO, wanna have time, read books on Kindle so much. And all that stuff turns into battery, but that doesn't matter because the second I get out of the plane, I look at my phone up to the charger on the top of my carry-on, away suitcase,
Starting point is 00:49:26 tuck it under the handle strap, and then I just charge it as I walk through the airport like the true travel ninja I am. Million mile flyer right here. Charges and actually price every million, you can't have all the airlines, sadly. I charge it as I'm waiting to board. Charge it while I grab a bite to eat,
Starting point is 00:49:43 charge it in the bathroom stall as I purge myself of bad food choices. And what's really awesome is that the battery pack pops out very easily because now you're supposed to take it out before you either check it or take it through TSA. Very easy just to pop it out. It's not very big. Throw it in your purse. Throw it in your backpack. Throw it in your pocket. And that compression strap also awesome by the way. I get all my clothes for like a five day trip into one little carry on because of that strap. So try out the best suitcase on the market from away for a hundred days,
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Starting point is 00:50:32 Use promo code time sucked during checkout. That's away travel.com slash time suck promo code time suck for $20 off your way suitcase, link in the episode description button link to the deal in the sponsor section of the time so app Man, if only I could go back in time and kill David Berg chop them up stuff all of his shitty parts into in a way suitcase And then let all of his former victims piss on it before using it to beat any current leaders who also molested kids to death Away the best suitcase on the market for beating cold leaders to death and then stuffing their parts inside of it. But for real, uh, Bergen's mistress are now in London, uh, with their financial operations offshore. For a while, they are able to evade the scrutiny of US authorities looking into children of God's activities, living in England, Bergen publishes several books, a monthly periodical,
Starting point is 00:51:19 and a series of mo letters that his followers considered equal in authority to the Bible. Mainstream Christian denominations, uh, denounced and criticized Bergs' writings as being doctrinally vague with no clear saving of belief, often contradictory, lacking contextual support that doesn't seem to bother his followers. They look forward to every new publication impatiently. In February 1972, Bergs' declares in the law of Moses that his letters are the voice of God. If it wasn't clear before, now it's superficial, guys. What I say is what God says.
Starting point is 00:51:52 Always, my left move, God's words pull out. Okay? Bend over and take some sacrament on your knees. To be clear, God wants you to swallow. Berg teaches his followers that Jesus' return is imminent in the last seven years of world history would be inseparably intertwined with his life that he would die in 1989.
Starting point is 00:52:09 So should his supposed to start getting crazy in 1982. And, say, and David would continue to have his followers follow him despite nothing happening in 1992 or 1989. And he doesn't die. He'd live until 1994. Again, you think they'd be a little pissed about, not preparing for life past 1999, and then the world not getting destroyed.
Starting point is 00:52:30 Just like, fuck man, I would've stayed in school, say for retirement, maybe not told my boss to go fuck himself in 1988. If I know I'd still be here in 1990, 1990, dammit, burg. Cause people thought the world was gonna be over 1989, they didn't worry about making a short, or they only kind of made short term choices. They didn't worry about long term stuff.
Starting point is 00:52:48 They didn't focus on like, saving, they didn't focus on proper school and education for the kids. It was pointless, de-emphasized. Man, again, Doomsday Profits, been correct, zero percent of the time. When someone tells you to not worry about stuff, because they know for a fact
Starting point is 00:53:02 that the world is gonna end on such and such date, they don't know that. I know for a fact, they're is gonna end on such and such date, they don't know that. I know for a fact, they're a wacky doodle. From London, Bergen insisted that the group spread out and established new colonies throughout the USA. Bands are formed, music was emphasized as a method of outreach, elements of their doomsday message remains the same, the corruption of the system, the imminent fall of America,
Starting point is 00:53:19 the end of the world. All of this is put into music form alongside simple songs of salvation. Further emphasis placed on the importance of personal testimony when it came time to recruiting, initiate conversations, tell, give your testimony about how you how you were lost without Jesus, your undrugs, etc. Then you met the group and your life was changed. When 1972, the children of God would claim to have swelled to 1400 a number with members from every state of the union, mostly in their teens and early 20s
Starting point is 00:53:47 However with an increase in numbers came a corresponding increase in concerned family members Also, they've been around long enough to start having members start to leave the group as well and tell what they've seen Reports start to come in from members who had left the group telling tales of coercion rape or jeez forced alienation from families Manipulation defrauding the public for donations, lying to an invasion of law enforcement, etc., etc., etc., etc., in August 1971, several concerned parents, headed by William Ramber, whose children had joined the children of God, formed a counter-cult movement called free cog, or free art children from the children of God. Their mission was to free by an intervention, intervention if necessary their children from what they consider
Starting point is 00:54:26 to be destructive cult and they were correct it is a destructive cult. Free Coggan listed the help of a well-known deep programmer Ted Patrick reported the experience in the successful reverse brainwashing of members from several other cults. Patrick an African American was known to members of the children of God is black lightning. Now Patrice controversial methodology methodology involved kidnapping cult members, placing them in isolation, the use of shock to attack, the mechanisms he believed were used into the control of their minds. He was also known for using the Bible to argue with subjects who joined Bible-based cults.
Starting point is 00:54:58 Patrick was charged with kidnapping on several counts but found innocent. Although he discontinued participation in actual kidnapings only contributing to deep programming sessions. He was later charged and found guilty for one kind of conspiracy to kidnap and for false imprisonment. Despite free cogs efforts in the efforts of their parents or excuse me of other parents to retrieve their kids
Starting point is 00:55:18 from the children of God, the movements membership continued to grow. Man, damn, too bad Patrick wasn't able to completely take him down. What a bad-ass movie that would have made, you know? Dude sounds awesome. Kidnapping cult members aggressively deprogramming them. Man, too bad he wasn't able to get his hands
Starting point is 00:55:33 on David Berg himself. Now, there is a documentary about Ted Patrick, known as the father of cult deprogramming. It's called No Surprises Here, deprogrammed. It's on Netflix. It's also on YouTube, it's paid platform. I think it just came out like 2016. I don't know how time to watch the trailer, but-programmed. It's on Netflix. It's also on YouTube's paid platform. I think it just came out like 2016. I don't know time to watch the trailer, but it looks fascinating.
Starting point is 00:55:49 As far as I can tell, this now 88-year-old Ted Patrick is still helping D-program people. Dude, he's a fucking American hero. I'm not going to have to suck him some day. I'm going to put the link to the YouTube trailer in the episode description. Later in 1972, just four years after getting started, Berg pushes the sexual boundaries of his cult even further. He redefines the family unit now declaring in a mo letter titled One Wife that God was in the business of breaking up little selfish, private, worldly families to make of their yielded broken pieces a larger unit.
Starting point is 00:56:19 One family big time red flag cult talk here. You don't have a family. You silly goose. Where's your family? Run, run, run. David Todd that breaking up families to extract the disciples for the movement was justifiable in God's eyes. Communal interests were to be prioritized above private interest, including the private interest of marriage and children. Bird declared to the law of love, doctrine that anything including taking sexual liberties would not be wrong in the eyes of God, if done in the name of love, you know,
Starting point is 00:56:47 basically, it sounds like he's given the green light here to rape and in the molestation. He says, yeah, anything including taking sexual liberties, not wrong in the eyes of God, if done in the name of love. So under that directive, sneaking up on someone of any age in the shower, choking them down, pinning them to the floor, and then forcibly inserting your heart penis into random clenched orifices is totally okay
Starting point is 00:57:07 as long as you do it with love in your heart. Oh, and the cold goes along with this. Ugh, please, Nimrod, never let my children feel so desperate that this supposed love of a cold like this appeals to them on any level. Let time suck with the only cold they ever join. Enjoy your join. Man, David then starts arranging marriages,
Starting point is 00:57:25 breaking up marriages as he slash gods, he's fit. Oftentimes he breaks up marriages and sends one of the partners to a different commune or compound. He also decides that children of, children of God members are no longer their children. They're the children of the movement. And through the mo letter, the great escape, he directs his followers then to leave the US and Canada,
Starting point is 00:57:43 start a new colony's across the globe. By the end of 1973, they've claimed a total of two uh... two thousand four hundred full-time members living in a hundred and forty colonies in forty different countries despite being spread out across the world david keeps firm grip on leadership the pre-requisite for being a full-time member was the acknowledgement that mo david berg was the end time profit with the the ultimate central authority in all matters. Uh, David would occasionally purge the ranks, you know, uh, make examples out of certain leaders who, uh, didn't follow him closely enough to make sure that everybody else did.
Starting point is 00:58:18 Uh, Berg continues to write his mo letters, which to get more and more controversial. They're, they're controversial enough now that they get divided into three categories. GP for the general public, D-O for disciples only, and then DFO, a category in between for disciples and friends only, and then LT for leadership training. This ensures that the more controversial or difficult to understand material would not land in the hands of the general public. As a matter of policy, members were advised to feed babes, new recruits, with quote, milk, ie, general public or GP material, and not introduce them to quote strong meat, ie, controversial, do or disciples, only material in the beginning, lest they choke on it.
Starting point is 00:58:58 Burg kept the movement on his toes, explaining to his followers that the only thing they could be certain of was continual change. Their revolution demanded it. It's God's will. God is great. 1974, the Lentura's 55 year old burr continually sexualizing the movement to greater and greater degrees. Right. It's a number of weird mole letters on this theme, such as revolutionary sex, revolutionary
Starting point is 00:59:18 marriage, revolutionary love making, love light, the goddess. On receipt to the mole letter, come on ma burn your bra. That's what God's concerned about bra burning. There are reports of leaders demanding that all female members get rid of their bras or risk having them forced to be torn off. Get your bra. God will be done. The law of love written in 1974 taught members to sacrifice anything and everything in the name of love. Bird declared that total and complete freedom from the bondage of the law was reserved only for the spiritually worthy. While a few members did finally leave
Starting point is 00:59:49 on the introduction of more and more radical sexual themes, those who remained expected to comply with the teachings wholeheartedly. And basically, the overall message of his teaching was, fuck anyone in the group who wants to fuck you. Free love, baby, free love! And then Berg took things even further when he introduced the concept of flirty fishing in 1974. Flirty fishing referred to as FFN, and a lot of the documents from the church, was the encouragement of female members to initiate sexual relations with nonmembers
Starting point is 01:00:18 in order to win converts, supporters, and influential friends. The Spanish island of Tenerife, where the children of God had a compound, became Bergs' playground, slash sexual laboratory, where he experimented with FFN, and fine-tuned its methodology. You know, I.E., he fucked a whole bunch of young female members. Yes, yes, you did great, Shedded. You totally fished me into fucking you.
Starting point is 01:00:44 Wow, wow, great job. And you Lisa, oh, woo, you fished my ween right into your mouth. That's exactly how you do it. You did it. You ladies are nailing this. I think after a few more years of constant testing, and I mean around the clock constant testing,
Starting point is 01:01:01 you'll be ready to leave God's favorite fuck island and take his message to the world. God's will be done. God is good. Oh, Florida fishing. First practice by members of Bergs and her circle started in 1974, later introduced to the general membership in 1976 through a series of mole letters titled King Arthur's Knights. Bergs told disciples that sexually transmitted diseases. We're not to phase members around this time. In a model letter titled, afflictions, Bergthad that Jesus himself suffered from venereal diseases.
Starting point is 01:01:29 Uh, okay. Eh, that's a little different than traditional doctorate. And that it was part of the sacrifice to disciple and doers in order to show love. You get it? You're doing God's work when you have herpes. Don't even worry about it. Just put on more lipstick than normal.
Starting point is 01:01:43 Hur, yeah, that's cold source. Just a fun reminder that you're doing the Lord's work Debbie. Praise Jesus for cold so Thank God for General warts. God's good Incredible. First David announced that this is such a weird episode credible first David announces that he's taking it on a second wife Then he starts having orgies with his inner circle and essentially upper management.
Starting point is 01:02:09 Then he starts breaking marriages and assigning new ones. Then he turns his compounds into religious orgie centers, big swing or conventions where everyone can fuck anyone. And then now he's having female members start fucking random dudes and attempt to sway them into joining their move. And I do have to admit for a straight guy, he's put together one hell of a sales pitch, right? Like if Best Buy was gonna sell me a MacBook for 10% less than the Apple Store,
Starting point is 01:02:32 I would buy it from Best Buy. But then, if the Apple Store was like, hey, listen, hey, come here. We'll match Best Buy's price, and we'll let you bang Cindy. All right, Apple, okay, let's get naked. Let's do some showers. By 1976, thanks to the beta test of a very effective new recruiting
Starting point is 01:02:47 technique, the group claimed to have 725 colonies in 70 countries with 4,215 full-time members all operating under a high arch, a high-archal, higher, hierarchical, Jesus Christ, higher hierarchical, higher hierarchical, leadership, fuck that word, reported and tithing upwards in order to receive more letters. With the hippie movement, losing its steam after the Vietnam War, Berg ordered his members to focus more on recruiting, the educated and privileged classes, and less on the drop outs of society. Ah man, hippies, they're out now. 1978, Berg redefined, this is true.
Starting point is 01:03:21 Berg redefined communion ceremonies as come union, sexual sharing sessions. Do you get it? It's not communion, it's come union. As if he couldn't get more evil. Now he's, you know, forcing not only dick, but puns on his followers, puns. By late 1978, Florida Fishy does introduce to all cog members, some members leave. Those who stay are expected to participate. Quickly, Florida Fishy slides right into outright prostitution. With the money, female members get for fucking random pain dudes, becoming a significant source of income for the church.
Starting point is 01:03:59 This would also be referred to as I'm not kidding, hooking for Jesus. One former member claimed to witness a suitcase of over a million dollars in cash, David kept under his bed, and that was money he had taken from Florida Fish. He's a fucking, he's a pimple. Just straight up pimple. And another we're talking again,
Starting point is 01:04:16 about prostitution and pimping. Not surprisingly, I do hear some footsteps on the hallway, I hear somebody walking towards the door, and I do smell poultry. Ah ho, hey, well if it isn't chicken joke. Buh, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm gonna wear that with, I'm gonna tap that backside, squeeze that nipple, make that money shot,
Starting point is 01:04:33 make that panted rotten, make it some dough rise on top, play that skin game, walking on a street, selling that meat, making that green, I know same, no good man, no roll mouth. Just straight hustle, selling Thai to ask for cold cash, but never gonna get kids in a mix, don't deal with that. Certainly don't mix my dirty bears with the Lord's tears.
Starting point is 01:04:48 You hear you dig, you feel me. Ain't no room for that chicken. Ain't no Lord. I'm saying block, squaw, squaw, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Now that was chicken Joe speak for even a pimp, such as himself finds mixing religion and prostitution in the sexualization of minors absolutely morally reprehensible. Oh, and oh shit, we have someone else to ask to happen by.
Starting point is 01:05:09 What is big deal? What do you have hard on for chicken Joe now? You no longer like sauce shimcock. You no longer like rassul. A rassul skinned chicken mount to death. Let's chuck playboy with cock cock. So no one here is stupid buck-buck. Again, fuck chicken Joe. He won trick pony.
Starting point is 01:05:24 Chica, Chica Tilo have dips. Chica Tilo love communism. No one here is stupid buck-buck again, fuck chicken Joe. He won trick pony, chicken, chicken, chicken tillo half dips, chicken tillo love communism, and love wrestling, and stalking in public. I'm multifaceted, mysterious individual. I go now, you know forget me. I be back, buck, buck, fucking in the back. Wow, man, things getting weirder than ever, so confusing for new listeners.
Starting point is 01:05:42 We have characters who are dropping from time to time, and now we have one morally Lee Repugnant imaginary character feeling threatened by a slightly less more Lee Repugnant character. Speaking of more Lee Repugnant characters, let's talk more about David Burke. Nailed that segue, fucking out of the park. Burke's new practice of blatant prostitution
Starting point is 01:06:00 brings more unwanted attention from the press as US authorities and authorities in other countries now want to question about running a prostitution ring and by I just have to get this out of my head. I can only imagine what the neighbors in this office building thing. When they hear that screaming I do. I started to have a sense about the most nonsensical and horrific shit. They no wonder they won't make eye contact with me in the halls. Flirty fishing.
Starting point is 01:06:25 Also results in the birth of many children referred to by David as Jesus babies. By night, 71 over 300 have been born, including Karen, Zerby, aka Maria, aka David's mistress son. They would call him David Tito or David Tito. It's like some fucking weird, they just added Edo to David. It's dumb. AKA Rick Rodriguez. A lot of kids were born to random fathers inside
Starting point is 01:06:47 and out of the cult because David also had to outlawed, excuse me, outlawed birth control. Years later, sadly, 2001, this poor Jesus baby, this Rick Rodriguez would leave the children of God, that's not the sad part. Head to Tucson, Arizona in 2005, looking for his mom and current church leader, Maria Maria wouldn't find his mom would find 29 year old uh... 29 year old associate of his mom's a woman who would also molested him as a
Starting point is 01:07:11 child uh... as had his mother he claimed and many other church members uh... he made a video before meeting with his lady that he mailed to a friend at which he stayed that he just couldn't take it anymore couldn't take all these people getting away with what they did and he was going to do something to stand up on uh... you know uh... up, stand up on behalf of all of the children of God kids who had been molested and he stabbed church member Angela Smith to death. That's what he met with and then shot himself, uh, also dying. And, and then no one, uh, has been punished for his allegations. In, in late 1978, in order to take the heat off his compounds and 40 fish and, and a new
Starting point is 01:07:44 folks on Colts United States in the wake of the Jones town, Colts, Massachusetts, and Guyana, David decides to push the movement underground. This is a super weird thing he did here that I can't think of an equivalent for. He also did this thing he's about to do because a lawsuit of about a million dollars gets thrown and gets a church by a former member claiming David destroyed his marriage and did a reputable harm to him and his family. And so he also dispends a church to avoid pain. But what he does, he just like he's dispound dispends the compounds and instructs his followers to just infiltrate mainstream society.
Starting point is 01:08:17 Like leave the compounds, go out, go out of the suburbs, you know, invade the system, invade the churches. These are quotes, you know, and just, you know, look respectable,, invade the churches. These are quotes. And just look respectable, take on regular jobs. And then during this furlough, stay in touch with David through the mail by leaving contact addresses. With the few core members, you would have help administer things.
Starting point is 01:08:39 So they have like one little headquarters. Members living in mainstream society could choose to support David at this time through tithing 10% of their pre-tax income, filling out a form known as a TRF. TRFers received full uncensored mo letters or you could pay just 10 bucks a month and receive only DFO and GP mailings.
Starting point is 01:08:58 That is disciples and friends, only mailings and general population mailings, but no mo letters. Or you could find a time machine and pay zero dollars for a free trial with unlimited access to the content of today's last badass sponsor, The Great Courses Plus. Yes, Time Sack is also brought to you by The Great Courses Plus, Why Read David Berg's Nonsensical Fantasy Mo letters.
Starting point is 01:09:23 When you can learn about almost anything, including the reality of what was once Science fiction with the great courses plus science fiction not only entertaining It's a window into crucial discussions about the world we live in ethics power social justice tolerance And the great courses plus has a brand new course that dives deeply into this called sci-fi and that's sci-p H.I. Science fiction is philosophy presented by Dr. David Kyle Johnson and that's SCI-PHI, science-fictionist philosophy, presented by Dr. David Kyle Johnson. I watched the 36-minute lecture Westworld
Starting point is 01:09:50 in Artificial Intelligence last night, and it's making me wish I had time today to start watching Westworld series in HBO for a third time. Watch this course, and you'll understand the Turing test, the test that determines if a machine is sentient, just like a human, it's the most important test in the world of artificial intelligence and the scientific community's quest to replicate the human mind.
Starting point is 01:10:09 You'll understand various theories regarding how we can understand, identify our own consciousness, so that then we can theoretically identify in a mechanical setting. You know, we have the idiots of the internet segment coming up right around the corner, and the great courses plus is the true cure to never become an idiot of the internet. Expand your mind. Learn at your own pace, follow your curiosity through their vast catalog. Westworld and artificial intelligence is a great course to get started on with great courses plus.
Starting point is 01:10:35 Listen to it, then go back and listen to Suck 73 digital immortality. It'll make so much more sense, so much brain candy or choose from, you know, any of their other fantastic lectures. With the Great Courses Plus, you'll get unlimited access to stream their entire library, watch your list at any time from anywhere with the Great Courses Plus app. I know you're going to love the Great Courses Plus as much as I do. And Time Suckers get a free trial with unlimited access to their entire library of fascinating lectures for free.
Starting point is 01:11:01 To get started, sign up today through my special URL, thegreatcoursesplus.com slash time suck. That's thegreatcoursesplus.com slash time suck, link in today's episode description, button in the sponsor section of the newly updated time suck app and website. And now, before we delve back into the children of God's 1980 game of a new name going underground,
Starting point is 01:11:24 but we're gonna come back and play the same old dirty games. Let's see what the web has to say about this cult and today's idiots of the internet. Okay, today's video, I looked at 1988, 2020 video called To Bring Her Children Home. It's about Vivian Shalanda, 2020 video called, to bring her children home. It's about Vivian Shalanda, a woman who moved to Sioux Falls, South Dakota after escaping from the Children of God cult, originally aired in 1988. Four of her kids at the time of this recording,
Starting point is 01:11:54 still in the cult, living with their father and Bangkok, who's still part of the Children of God. Gut wrenching footage of kids' brainwashed to hate their mom because she left the cold. Terrible stuff showing exactly how evil and destructive the family destroying aspects of colds can really be. Kids are all sitting in the back of a station wagon, all tightly gripping bibles weeping and freaking out when their mom tries to take them home because they think leaving the
Starting point is 01:12:17 cold means they're going to go to hell. They think their mom is trying to destroy their souls or beyond traumatized. One of the kids in the video would later take his own life as a young adult. And so after that, you know, people watch this video. Let's open up the comments with classic Captain Obvious, Captain Obvious post from Charlotte Cole, who after seeing all this rights, this cult damaged people. Uh-huh. Yeah, thanks for , thanks for noticing that. Pretty sure everyone picked up on that with the several minutes of children whaling and shrieking. Solid observation, Charlotte.
Starting point is 01:12:50 Man, nothing gets past you. Charlotte's not done. She comments again, a short time later, adding culture so dangerous. Ah, another home run, Charlotte, out of the park. What gems are you holding back? What thoughts aren't you posting? These people did some naughty stuff.
Starting point is 01:13:06 Kids should not all caps be molested. Herding people is in fact not good. You shouldn't harm people, adults, or kids. It is not nice if you stop to think about it. Angela Schoenfield wrote something that made me laugh way too hard. She wrote, I met them in the 90s and when God made me read by accident one of their teaching books, I ran away as fast I could. They are hippies playing Christians and there's lots of anger
Starting point is 01:13:39 and sarcasm against established religions and their hearts. I just love when God made me read by accident one of their books. What God, God made you, he made you read it, but by accident, what is, huh? All right, that makes no sense. I just picture Angelic, like saying weird stuff to like blame things on God. Angel, you take my money, it was laying right here
Starting point is 01:13:59 on the table. God, did you accidentally make me think someone else's money was mine again? Oh God, stop accidentally tricking me And so how could you I thought I thought you might be having an affair but really in our bed in front of me God, why did you make me accidentally sit on this dick? I accidentally thought this man was my husband. I'll stop Sylvia Sims is against what the children of God did with these kids, but she has a very weird way of saying it
Starting point is 01:14:27 She writes the name of this cult could have been children of pedophilia David was grooming some sexy nine-year-olds, huh? Did you just say sexy nine-year-olds Sylvia? I'm pretty sure that sexy is an adjective that should never be followed by nine year old. Cute, adorable, pretty. Those are good. Even beautiful is okay. Maybe, maybe, from the right person, even gorgeous.
Starting point is 01:14:53 But sexy? Ah, nah. If you think a nine year old is truly sexy, then on some level, you're probably a pedophile. Or you just don't understand what the word sexy means. It means sexually attractive or sexually arousing. As in, I want to have sex with that sexy person, hence, not a kid ever. I know one more. This one, this one made me laugh. Maybe I just loopy from being late, late, late, late last night, but user Michael Perry, today's true idiot,
Starting point is 01:15:20 in my opinion, he first signals this by using only capital letters and literally zero punctuation. To me, that's almost always the hallmark of a fucking maniac. When it's up, gonna caps lock, pressed periods, commas, uh-uh, don't care for them. And then he just writes, lots of parents usually teach their kids crap like McDonald's is the real way of life anyway. I remember this is under this whole video about kids being molested and apparent trying to save their kids. Okay. There's one reply and it's almost as if I wrote it myself.
Starting point is 01:15:54 User Aubrey Lane writes, you're comparing a cult with child rape to taking kids to McDonald's. Surely I'm misunderstanding you. I don't think you are, Aubrey. It's because he has no punctuation skills and he's very poor sentence structure. It's a little confusing, but I do think he's doing exactly that. I think he's trying to make this point like, oh, okay, so people are mad about this cult.
Starting point is 01:16:16 I can molest and kids, but no one's mad about McDonald's. It's the same thing. Oh, man. I don't know for sure that it's absolutely meant because you didn't post again, but but they're, you know, again, there's a 30 minute video about saving kids from a cold base and sexual abuse and your reaction to that is, yeah, okay, maybe that's not cool, but neither is McDonald's. Best case, you're an idiot who passionately hates fast food and thinks that kids shouldn't just eat them McDonald's, which I do totally agree with,
Starting point is 01:16:44 but your comparison is pretty ridiculous. Like if you pull out the freeway and there were two businesses with drives through windows and you can put your vanity either one. One is McDonald's and the other one is a weird like, you know, Chuckie kid fuckers, like some horrible business where you just pull into the drive through and then you just push your kid out your window into the drive to win or somebody just a stranger's grabs them and pulls them into this place, molest them and then throws them back in your car or van or whatever and you're like, I don't know where I should go. Which one is worse? I mean,
Starting point is 01:17:15 if you think about it, they're both the same amount of bad. You should have your kids take away forever. Take them to McDonald's, that situation, every fucking time. Let them have four Oreo McFlurry's two extra large fries in a large mountain do for breakfast. That's still a way better meal for a kid than a grown man's balls. You fucking idiot of the internet. Okay, okay. Now we're back. Now we're back today's timeline, talking about people who make the internet look like the best people in the history of earth, we're back to 1980. Remember, he's pushed his movement underground.
Starting point is 01:17:52 He's been building all the weird sex stuff, he's getting in trouble, so David Bergs, like, all right, let's go covert for a while. Go out there, infiltrate the suburbs, pretend to be normal people, and just keep in touch with maybe letters and donations. Well, then in 1980, after a short break, they reformed. They reformed now, he just had to like disband
Starting point is 01:18:11 for a little bit, get rid of the name, dissolve the LLC, now they're the family of love. And the practice of Florida fishing continues, but done more covertly now. Also in 1980, a radio station run by members called Music with Meaning is launched in Greece that asked members to sign up for a fan club. And the fan club is just a gateway
Starting point is 01:18:29 to becoming a member of the family of love, aka the children of God, and the Greek family love group starts really experimenting with more, or more with deviant sexuality, having regular orgies in addition to partner swapping and floor-deficient, and also now blatant pedophilia. With Berg members actively had a sexualized children and instead of everyone
Starting point is 01:18:49 finally waking up and killing him membership supposedly grows to about 12,000 members worldwide. He writes from this time about his is growing sexual interest in children. He writes the only way to get free of the devil and his lies and his prohibitions and guilt complexes about sex is to get rid of his lies and his lies and his prohibitions and guilt complexes about sex is to get rid of his lies and his lying propaganda, his anti-sex propaganda, and believe the Lord and his word and his creation and God's love and his freedom. That there is nothing in the world that is all wrong with sex as long as it's practiced and love, whatever it is or whoever it's with, no matter who or what age or what relative, or what manner, and you don't hardly dare even say these words in private, if the law I forgot to hold of
Starting point is 01:19:31 this, they would try to spring me up. Ha, ha, yeah, fucking they should have. They would probably lynch me before I got to jail. Mm-hmm. When Paul said, all things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient. First Corinthians 6, 12, he was as good as saying, I can indulge in any kind of sex I want to. What?
Starting point is 01:19:51 How did you get that? But I've got to watch out for the system because it's against law. Think about, let's just repeat that again. This is how interprets this verse. When Paul said, all things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient. What he really said was, this fucks him kids. What he really said was, I can indulge in any kind of sex I want to, but I've got to watch out for the system.
Starting point is 01:20:14 What in the fuck? Okay. And then he says, we are free in privacy, and that's about all. And we might be free if they discovered what we do in private. There are no relationship restrictions or age limitations in his law of love. If you hate sex, you are one of the devil's crowds. If you think it's evil, then God and love are evil, where he created it. Come on, let's love and enjoy it like God does. He loves it.
Starting point is 01:20:38 Sure is where it's holy shit, man. There should be no age restrictions on sex, and if you have a problem without, you're one of the devil's crowds. This guy just kept doubling down on being an insane creep. Just totally rationalizing his own early childhood sexual abuse by not only normalizing it, but by making it the one true way to express God's love and you're satanic if you don't do it, unreal.
Starting point is 01:20:59 And then over the next decade and a half from 9,8, 9,9,9,4, while Berg is in his 60s and early 70s, he continues to write his mole letters. The group continues to hide him, cover for him. His compounds and communes pop up, go away. Leadership operates from unknown locations. prostitution continues. Kids continue to be molested, et cetera.
Starting point is 01:21:16 Finally, on October 1st, 1994, 75-year-old Bergs dies in Portugal of natural causes. As long time mistress, Maria, aka Karen Zerby, takes over as leader. She remains as far as I or the internet knows, the leader of the church to this day, she lives in hiding. She also issues occasional prophecies from God. And even did someone day of her still alive. In 1986, she forbade sexual contact
Starting point is 01:21:38 between adults and minors, making it punishable by excommunication now. But based on testimony of ex members, this appears to be complete bullshit, just done for show. In an interview that came out in January of 2018, former member Don Watson said that she escaped from the cult, now known as the family international, in 2005.
Starting point is 01:21:55 So long after this denouncement of sex, you know, almost a decade later, she escaped when she's 13. And she said, as you learn to brush your teeth as children, we learn to have sex. That is what you have to do. This is how it happens. We learned God is love and the way to express God's love
Starting point is 01:22:11 is through sexuality. I never knew anything different from that. I think that no one will truly understand unless you have lived it. What abuse is? An abuse, I say in all forms, abuse sexually, abused emotionally, and abused spiritually. In another interview that surfaced in Scotland in May of 2018, just as past May, a different
Starting point is 01:22:27 survivor spoke for the first time about the abuse she suffered while growing up in the notorious Children of God sect. Verity Carter said she was repeatedly raped and abused, forced onto the streets to trick people into donating money, and taught how to conceal her torment from social workers and teachers. Verity now a 38 year old Edinburgh mother said, My earliest memories are from the age of four being abused by my own father. He would touch me and kiss me in a way that made me feel so uncomfortable.
Starting point is 01:22:52 I would cry and beg him not to. If I complained, I was told that I must have a demon inside of me because sex was love. And love was what God wanted us to show each other. I was not even old enough to go to school at that point, but there was far worse to come. Verity was brought up until the age of 15 in the children of God, meaning her abuse continued up until the year 2000. Right, almost a decade and a half after Maria's don't touch kids anymore. Bullshit press release that she gave back in 1986. Verity said, my father at least did not rape me. It would often often be kind to me the worst abuses the rapes and numerous sexual assaults came from others within the
Starting point is 01:23:28 commons we were forced to live in around scotland right under the noses of the authorities i can remember all their faces still but the cult was very clever most did not use their real names they use names they were given usually biblical like the whole moses david bullshit our homes were filled with pornographic pictures and teachings from grandpa, David. How creepy is that? Grandpa, David, teaching the kids about sex.
Starting point is 01:23:51 The systemites were never to see them or we were warned, we would all be taken away from our families, put into children's homes and probably murdered. We were just children, but we were told it was our responsibility for our cover was blown. We had to present ourselves to the public at all times as happy, smiley children who loved God, nothing else.
Starting point is 01:24:06 If anyone asked, we were told to say, we loved God and we wanted to be missionaries. The truth was that unspeakable things were being done to us in the name of a perverted old man, cashing in the money, we'd be sent out to collect most days. On a good day, and this is just not the, this is not the Florida fish, and this is begging. On a good day, I would collect up to 400 pounds by smiling and just asking people if they love God. I was too young and naive to question it, but I wonder where all the millions of pounds collected all over the world ended up.
Starting point is 01:24:32 Variety was only briefly sent to school. Coal leaders, feared teachers would discover what was going on, and if an inspector was called, you know, to their community, and criminating evidence might be, you know, found. So they would hide it all in advance. She said she was taking out of school because the elders thought I might
Starting point is 01:24:47 blow it out something to bring on one of the tension. My mother taught me and we'd get home visits from inspectors, but they were woefully inadequate. We'd know when the inspectors were coming, all the pornographic books would be hidden away, we'd be cleaned up and rehearsed, told what to say until we had it perfectly memorized. The school inspectors, social workers,
Starting point is 01:25:04 and doctors who all saw us were fooled. Nobody seemed to want to ask questions at risk, something that might have set our religion. None of us dared say anything that would cause concern or would be beaten and punished for weeks. How fucked up is that? The weird side effect of politically correct culture, where it's like, oh, you know, they might offend what our religion. Fuck your religious beliefs. If your religious beliefs are exploitive, fuck you and fuck everything you believe in. I make fun of, you know, certain destructive aspects of religions aggressively on stage as a standup, and I wish more people would.
Starting point is 01:25:33 With this weird cultural thing, which is like, well, everybody has a right to their ideas. Yeah, well, a lot of people's ideas are fucking super dumb and should be shit on on a regular basis, right? This isn't some weird thing where everybody ideas are equally valid. Some people are far fucking dumb or that other people, some people are far more destructive and sick than other people. And yeah, that's why we have like law enforcement. That's why we have we have we have critical reasoning abilities to realize that their ideas
Starting point is 01:26:00 suck and we should tell them so. Like, no, man, it's fucked up. You want to, you want to believe in, you believe in this fairy tale? Okay, you get to believe in that. But you don't get to fuck your kids. And if you do, in my world, we cut your fucking head off. Like literally public execution, fuck you. Sorry, I get a little angry there. The stuff just infuriates me, these motherfuckers.
Starting point is 01:26:20 The organization responsible for all that we covered today incredibly still exists. And I wish I could put him in a room and just fucking set a bomb off which i can just blow him up actually that would be too good of a death for them uh... supposedly the family international is now an online network of approximately nine hundred nineteen hundred people in eighty countries regarding tales of alleged abuse of spokesman said although the family international has
Starting point is 01:26:41 apologized a number of occasions to form members for any hurt and then check out this language, real or perceived, uh, that they may have experienced during their membership, we do not give credence to tales of institutionalized because, well, of course, you're not gonna admit that you piece as the shit, the balls on these people, real or perceived.
Starting point is 01:27:00 Ah, since that statement brings us to the present, that is it for today's Time Stock Timeline. Good job, soldier. You've made it back. Barely. Wow, the children of God, man, the sick twisted fantasy, one man, pedophile David Berg, Moses David Brot's life. I drifted off during that
Starting point is 01:27:26 timeline outro to the thoughts of the Punisher my favorite graphic novel just thinking about just you know how to a big machine gun and just fucking just lighten these motherfuckers up shooting out their knees first you know just slowly letting them bleed out man ah hate him so much. Born when a lot of American cults were born. These people, like the people's temple with Jim Jones, the Manson family, even Heaven's Gate, originally got going in the early 70s.
Starting point is 01:27:52 The counterculture hippie revolution, the perfect incubator for cults. Man, people questioned the status quo in ways they hadn't before. Generation exceptionally open to new ideas. You know, I worry about that now, as I scour the internet today, I wonder if this generation will see the birth of more cults. I mean, just considering what movement I'm not interested in the way I'm interested in the way I'm interested in the way I'm interested
Starting point is 01:28:07 in the way I'm interested in the way I'm interested in the way I'm interested in the way I'm interested in the way I'm interested in the way I'm interested in the way I'm interested in the way I'm interested in the way I'm interested fundamentalists and religious fundamentalism is the first cousin of the religious cult I mean just think about it take people who are open to ideas and concepts that cannot be explained through science Cannot be empirically proven people who are religious but don't trust the larger churches of their faith They're open to alternative interpretations of ancient texts that already exist outside the realm of scientific reason. Interpretations only accepted by a small fraction of the population.
Starting point is 01:28:51 To go from that to a true cult, you only have to cut an even smaller slice of an already very small slice of pie that you're already eating. Take someone willing to believe something less than one percent of humanity believes, something that can be proven, and then just have them take another small little leap to an even more liberal interpretation of the same text get someone to believe in the notion of actual profits. Profits that most people didn't believe in when they were alive and just get them to believe in new profits that most people currently denounce from a logics standpoint. I can see how it's easy to make that jump.
Starting point is 01:29:23 So if you find yourself under the sway of some new charismatic so-called profit, just remember that no matter how convincing they are, no matter how assured they are that they're right, no matter how assured, you know, others are that they're right, that there were many, many, many before just like them. People equally assured, equally charismatic. And so far, none of them have been proven to be right. Many have been proven to be utter, charlatan dirt bags. All right, let's look at one last set of teachings from today's dirt bag.
Starting point is 01:29:50 God I wish you could have died of horrible death. Here are some texts from the May 28, 1980, DFO, 999 Mo letter. The devil hates sex, but God loves it. What's so weird about these, if you look them up online, there's like written in this comic book style, complete with these actually written in this comic book style, complete with these actually very well illustrated comic book style covers. This one has a cover of Adam and Eve having sex.
Starting point is 01:30:10 Well, God and the devil watch and God's super happy, just being a weird God creeper, watch them have sex. And the devil's like, I don't like it. I'd read the whole thing, but it would take an hour, honestly, it's very long. But he starts off, number one, the devil hates and fights sex. Just the opposite of what the church teaches. All his pornography and dirty pictures is to downgrade and belittle sex and literally make it filthy. He belittles and downgrades and contaminates sex
Starting point is 01:30:35 and does everything he can against sex because it's just about the most beautiful creation of God. The devil is probably the world's greatest enemy of sex. And for the system churches to have taught that sex was a temptation of even the Garden of Eden is one hell of a goddamn doctrine of the devil's. Well, he says goddamn in a Christian supposedly Christian based text. Pretty easy to follow though. So far, right? God doesn't hate sex, devil hates sex, devil doesn't want you to enjoy God's craziness sex. This is great. So far, other than the weird God and devil mumble jumbo. You know, I'm in okay sex is good All right, I'll follow then jump it down to ten He says what a terrible thing to teach children from the time they're born practically to teach them to hate sex and fear sex and
Starting point is 01:31:13 I'm horse sex and deplore sex and it'd be ashamed of sex and ashamed of their sexual parts and no no not a dirty Heider don't ever do that Okay, okay, I think I'm still in children shouldn't be made to feel ashamed of sex or sexuality. Oh, okay, agree. Why add shame to it? What good comes to that? Then in the letter, his mistress Maria asked him, what about incest? There's all these parentheticals from Maria's asking questions to get him going. She says, what about incest? That's a big question in the family right now. Oh, okay. Pretty nervous about what does the answer might be. Dave responds, uh, saying, it is the most dangerous form of sex and the most prohibited by the system. As far as the system goes and as far as the law goes, it's absolutely taboo, illegal
Starting point is 01:31:53 dangerous. The system and the systemites are so absolutely crazy on the subject. They would practically linch you and string you up and not even wait for a trial or have you arrested or anything. That's just the way they are and saying, well, okay, yeah, I guess I'm insane that way because if I could have, I would love to have strung you up. It's fucking just cut your head off. Yeah, incest is illegal and taboo should be a weakened sygeon pool. You dumb shit leads to genetic diseases. Psychologically incest super destructive destroys families by mixing and mudding the roles and sexualizing people before they're emotionally mature enough to handle sexuality for their Old enough to make proper sexual choices. You dumb shit And David says it's been so ingrained and indoctrinated in them now for thousands of years beginning with the Catholic Church
Starting point is 01:32:37 The whole idea being that sex is so wicked and sinful so violent horrible so awful in the worst of sins So of course the worst of all sexual sins is with children. How could you be smurched into violent, violate your own child, an underage minor? Okay, starting to really, it's kind of seem to strongly advocate for incest now, pretty creepy. He says, I don't know what the hell age has to do with it
Starting point is 01:32:57 when God made him and able to enjoy it practically from the time they're born, but though God didn't count them as underage to have sexual feelings and sexual responses and sexual nerves and sexual orgasms from the time they're born, but though God didn't count them as underage to have sexual feelings and sexual responses and sexual nerves and sexual orgasms from the time they're born, I don't think kids have orgasms. The system prohibits them from having them until they're 18 to 21 years of age. I think biology prohibits them from having that. Tell their older.
Starting point is 01:33:17 And my God, don't you ever dare talk about insects. It's almost a word you don't even hardly pronounce in private, much less engage in it. You can't even teach your own children about sex. When he engage in it You can't even teach your own children about sex when he says that you can't even teach your own children about sex What he's actually saying is you can't even fuck your own kids. What's the world coming to? He even sneaks in a little shout out to Florida Fish and the letter saying sex certainly can prove true love and if true love Exists it proves the existence of God and God is love and that's been the whole appeal of our Florida Fishing is to prove to these men that love exists and Therefore God exists and they prove it by sex praise God
Starting point is 01:33:49 That's his words there David isn't objectifying women He's not degrading them to mere sexual play things when he's telling him God wants them to be prostitutes And then living off the money he makes like the fucking pimpy was nice on God's love. That's all just showing man God's love Glory God. What is Swaphello? He wraps up with if you hate sex you are one of the devil's crowd if you think it's evil then God and love are evil Well, he created it come on. Let's love it and enjoy it like God does he loves it Wow And David said all this to people who believed every word. He said was God's word Man, and I thought Raspi it was a creep. I thought Jim Jones was a creep. I mean, what they were, they were creeps. You know, man, it was a creep,
Starting point is 01:34:28 but even though, even though David never killed anyone, he may be creepier than those assholes. Okay, enough Berg almost time for today's top five takeaways. Number one, David Berg founded his cult that would become known mostly by the name of Time suck tough five take away Number one David Berk founded his cult that would become known mostly by the name of children of God and Huntington Beach California in 1968 and it's still around today Despite his past in 1994 known as the family international Number two the controversial aspects of Berk's cult largely revolve around the sexual practices of the members David first took himself a second wife then participated participated in orgies with high ranking church members, then introduced wife swapping and destroyed sexual monogamy within the group, then
Starting point is 01:35:12 introduced flirty fishing, reducing female members who were already sexually servicing any male members who wanted to be serviced, who were already raising the cult's children and doing all the cooking and cleaning, you know, from interviews I watched, to prostitutes and the cult's main source of income. Number three, incredibly despite consistent allegations from numerous former members of rape, malastation, prostitution within the group, no high profile member of the church of God has ever been sent to prison for any significant sex crime related charge. Number four, David declared himself God's prophet and his main role was to help usher in the end of days, which was supposed to happen in 1999. And then 1989 came and went and
Starting point is 01:35:49 he didn't die. How do cults keep going when their leader blows the end of days' prediction? Man, these guys are good at manipulation. You know, like most cult leaders, Berk would have made a hell of a salesman. I guess, I guess really he was a hell of a salesman. And number five, new info, several celebrities spent time in the Children of God cult, either as children or as adults. Joaquin Phoenix was in the cult until he was four years old. His family actually took the last name of Phoenix
Starting point is 01:36:13 to celebrate a new beginning once they got out of the Children of God cult. Joaquin's older brother River was eight when the family left. River childhood star of Stan by me, my favorite movie's is kid, adult star of Mount by me. My favorite movie is its kid. A dull star of Mone Private Idaho. Before he died in West Hollywood from a drug overdose at the age of 23, spoke of being
Starting point is 01:36:31 forced to have sex within the group at only four years old. Rose McGowan, prominent voice in the Me Too movement, Harvey Weinstein, accuser, actress and scream and job breaker, many more film and TV projects, including appearing on the WB's Charmed for six years. X fiance of Maryland Manson, grew up in the in the cult, said her mother taught her to serve men in all areas. She claimed in an interview with People magazine that David Burke spread a message that God made children able to enjoy sex.
Starting point is 01:36:56 McGowan said when the cult got wind of certain members wanting to leave, one of their children might disappear or some family would get severe punishment, meet it out to them as a way of teaching the others. Rose has two half siblings as a result of the group's free love policies. Her dad led an Italian children of God compound. They left the cult when Rose was five in 1978 when Bird began to advocate more strongly that whole, you know, having sex with kids is cool, kind of ethos. Finally, Jeremy Spencer, one of the original members of Fleetwood Mac abruptly left the
Starting point is 01:37:29 band in 1971 before his show with the famous whiskey, a go-go, and the sunset strip, ended up joining the cult. He's supposed to have a show that night at the whiskey, a go-go. He walks to the Hollywood bookstore that afternoon, on one afternoon, meet some cult members, and then just leaves with them. Didn't go to his own concert that night. Uh, should we know that, uh, this was all, this all happened after he, uh, had an admittedly fragile mental state following a bad masculine trip. While this masculine trip just fucking really detoured his life, he moved to Florida,
Starting point is 01:37:57 starts a new band called Jeremy Spencer and the children, gross name, considering what we'll learn about him and what we learned today already, moved to Brazil in 1975, Italy in 1977, lived in the Philippines in the 80s, lived in India in the 90s, then Ireland, Germany, he's still in the cult, working as a story writer and illustrator for some of their literature. This alleged piece of shit inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 1998, not surprisingly number of pedophilia allegations waged against Jeremy over the years. Information about some of these allegations can be found in court documents from Argentina and the United Kingdom and in public statements sworn affidavits court testimony by his first
Starting point is 01:38:33 wife and a number of people raised in the family, children of God, who alleged he sexually assaulted them during their childhood. In 1982, Spencer's first wife publicly accused him of statutory rape, also alleged that she and Spencer had found adults willing to sexually share their older children. In 1992, child custody case, three people testified under oath that he sexually assaulted them, otherwise sexually abused them when they were kids. In 2005, a number of people have riding sworn affidavits, alleging child sexual abused by Spencer to an FBI office in San Diego.
Starting point is 01:39:03 The FBI investigation of Spencer ended in 2006 because the statute of limitations had expired for the alleged criminal offenses that he was charged with. Currently, it's still recording albums and touring. I do not think I will be buying any of that piece of shit's albums or attending any of his shows. or attending any of his shows. Time suck, tough, right, take away. Crazy, right? Crazy, crazy man. The children of God's been sucked.
Starting point is 01:39:31 If only they weren't still around. Amazing, how much evil shit has been perpetrated against humanity because of boners, right? This whole cult all started because of the way one dude wanted to get rid of his boners. I'm simplifying it, but not by much. I wasn't able to read this book in time for preparation, but numerous suckers, including my kids grandma,
Starting point is 01:39:50 via their stepdad, Diane Rosentrader, also a time sucker, recommended a book called, Not Without My Sister, the true story of three girls violated and betrayed by those they trusted, is written by Christina Jones, Celeste Jones, and Juliana Burin, three girls raised within and sexually physically and emotionally abused by the so-called church.
Starting point is 01:40:09 So if you want further reading to that, if you don't have time for that, watch a Netflix documentary called Children of God. It's actually a documentary that existed prior to Netflix that Netflix picked up. It's about an hour long. Big thanks to the Time Stock team, high priestes, the suck Harmony Velocamp, Jesse Gardino grandma, and doggner, Reverend Dr. Joe Paisley, time
Starting point is 01:40:30 suck high priest Alex Dugan, the Biddle extra team danger brain, space lizards, and merch wizards, access to peril, queen of the suck and boss of damn near anything Lindsey coming. Thanks to the space lizards in general for, you know, financially supporting the suck. Big thanks to OG Bojangles research assistance, the Lily Twins for finding so much great info about his cult, Reva and Sarah, hammers of knowledge. This Friday, the last bonus episode,
Starting point is 01:40:52 I feel like some people thought they were already completely done, but I had committed to one more before I made the decision to pull back to once a week, so I can be sane, as much as I'm capable of being sane. This Friday, we talked about the history of the, or this Friday, we will talk about the history of being sane. Um, uh, this Friday, we talked about the history of the, or this Friday, we will talk about the history of the samurai. We'll go through each significant period of samurai history, fascinating, fascinating
Starting point is 01:41:12 stuff to samurai. Uh, we'll dive especially deeper into the lives of one of the most famous samurai's born at the end of the 16th century. Miyamoto Musashi, I'm probably butchering his name, but I'll hopefully get a better on Friday. This too was undefeated in 61 samurai duels. Holy shit! That fucking puts the US seat of shame man, 61 duels. I'm guessing those were fights of the death and he did a lot more than duel. The rare battle hard
Starting point is 01:41:36 in samurai, you know, also died of natural causes. That's rare. His story may put some hair on your chest. Even though, you know, he, being Japanese, probably didn't have any hair on his. Excited to suck him. Excited to suck him in. And right now I'm excited to hear from you. It's high time we check in with our community, and here today's Time Sucker Updates. First up, a time sucker, doing a good deed for another time sucker. Man, I always love that.
Starting point is 01:42:10 A time sucker named didn't come in just said, Uncle, just Uncle, written in the message board. Says, dear Dan, Suckmister General Petagog of pronunciation and a good bloke. This is the ultimate accolade in Australian Kenbe Stowe. Was introduced to the suck by a good mate called JD. He's actually a bit of a bastard But it's very good to his mom. I haven't realized I was twisted and depraved enough to appreciate the ghastly Information slong inserted into me by your quality offering just listen to the bud Dwyer suck I thought that was a fuck situation until you read out that story of Stephen Morrison
Starting point is 01:42:43 Who is assaulted outside work in a demonstration of the brotherly love instilled amongst space lizards and to gather some karma points for shit I shouldn't be laughing at. I should like to pay for this fine gentleman's ticket to the Grand Rapids show you mentioned. I shall pay in whatever American pesos or duckets or whatever you sepals use these days. Make it so. Hail them, Rod, praiseable jang, and fuck Poland. That's hilarious. Well, thank you, sir. Thank you, mysterious uncle, just uncle. Very kind offer. See you in if you're list and check your email. I forwarded you the email from uncle, just uncle, so
Starting point is 01:43:15 you so you two can work it all out. Very cool. Whoever you are, uncle, you're a good bloke too. Thank you and Hail Nimrod. Next up, Shirt and Prince, spread the sucked in Japan just in time for the samurai sucks. So everyone there can realize I can't pronounce Japanese words for shit. Shurdon Rites, time suck, has invaded Japan. Greetings, O-Suck Master. I just wanted to share a couple of things with you. First, I just finished the Bud Dwyer suck and holy shit my mind was blown. I was a teenager when this event occurred and I remember it like it was yesterday.
Starting point is 01:43:45 As it was the first time I had ever witnessed someone dying in real life. I'd always assumed incorrectly that this guy must have been crooked and was taking the coward's way out to avoid pain for his crimes, but I would be damned if I wasn't completely wrong. As a husband and father, I have mad respect for him and his decision to sacrifice himself to provide for his family after being wrongly convicted, I could only hope to be as courageous as this man if I were ever found in a similar situation. Second, as the title of this rant stated, Times like has invaded Japan.
Starting point is 01:44:11 My wife, daughter and I recently spent a weekend in Los Angeles with my wife's cousin who lives in Japan. She was here for a few days on a business trip. I told her about the suck and how much I loved it. Yes, thank you. On her flight back to Japan, she decided to give it a try and now she is hooked. Bonsai Suck Master. Your faithful follower and suck. Sherd. I love how you wrote pronouns like burden. Thank you Sherd.
Starting point is 01:44:30 Because you know if you didn't write that out, I would have been shardin, shardin, shardin. Well thank you Sherd. I mean, I too assumed and corrected the Bud Dwyer wasn't. Obviously corrupt politician just got caught and you know, obviously I was wrong as well. And I too, you know, from the facts I read ended up with just a ton of respect for the sacrifice you made for his family, which I know can be controversial to say that, but man, sometimes you know, there really are no easy choices. Life is not a Disney movie. That's for sure.
Starting point is 01:44:57 Next a bit of an immigration update from a Spokane Washington sucker. Dennis Kewspurt writes in, thank you for the little phonetic thing too. Dennis writes, proud owner of the fantasy football team, the green river clean weans. Danny Kusepert from Spokane. I have an immigration update. I think illegal immigration is a problem. A wall isn't an answer. I don't know what is, but we do need to keep America safe. America was built for immigrants and refugees with land of the fucking free. I love immigrants. I love that those, uh, asshole anti-Asian bands were lifted because if not a young time man wouldn't have made his way to America looking for a better life. Then ended up knocking boots with a young woman from Missouri. If that never happened,
Starting point is 01:45:37 my beautiful wife wouldn't be alive. Even though she hates chicken Joe. What? Love you, babe. Why did you hate space lizard and former car rental agent? Danny Cuspert PS here come the spoons are no here come the keys motherfucker keep on sucking funny I agree daddy some needs to be done with a big old expensive wall the border patrol agents will tell you probably is gonna work Probably isn't it a wall or bearcaped maybe in some you know neighborhood and stuff probably not a bad idea And I know we already have that we already have Fence line there such a tough problem
Starting point is 01:46:07 You know, I find it interesting that while some of you for sure disagree with my assessments, which is good and natural No one has sent in a holy shit, buddy. This is definitely the answer email Which I think just speaks to how truly complicated that matter really is, you know, just a very very tough issue and finally You know, just a very, very tough issue. And finally, awesome spider story from Space Luzard's Parker and Karen Mitchell. I love these kind of stories. Well, well, well, suck master. I guess it isn't just enough to try and pull the classic
Starting point is 01:46:33 gotcha with ridiculous facts anymore. My wife and I will listen to your podcast on immigration last night, and you've got to go in for a few seconds with the Rowan Oak Brown recluse. TMD, time suck misdirection. But after you ramped up the craziness with the hypothesis that all the bodies were gone because people were trying to swim away
Starting point is 01:46:50 from these horrifying spiders and drown, she called you out. No sooner had she sounded her bullshit detector and thrown off her blanket to go get a glass of water, then an enormous fucking spider appears, seemingly out of nowhere. On the blanket she just threw off herself. Ha, ha, ha, ha. I literally had to smash it with the phone that was still playing time suck since I had
Starting point is 01:47:10 nothing else to kill it with on hand. It's a bit poetic, I guess. Killed it by the very thing that summoned it. I don't know what kind of deal you may lose to Fina to get your Warlock Spider summoning powers, but fucking damn it man, not cool suck master. All I can hope for is the next time you try and do a TMD, the anti-magic shell I placed right in my house will keep the flying bears, killer bees, the size of a tire, land-based sharks, ooh, yeah, or whatever else, your beautifully-drange mind cooks up as a misdirect away from us. Thought you might enjoy hearing the fruits of
Starting point is 01:47:38 your so many efforts. Yeah, I did. I also wanted to say that you did excellent job in the immigration episode, making sure that all the coherent and reasonable arguments from each side of the issue were presented, which is more than can be said for most news sources these days, right? Which is a bummer that is sad. Keep up the good work. Can't wait to see you again next time. You make it salt like bring three X health shards again, knowledge and numrod, Parker and Karla Mitchell.
Starting point is 01:47:58 Oh, thanks you too. Got a little spider stories. That was a good one. Using the phone, blasting out spider lies to actually kill a spider. It's too good, it's too good. Hey, I'll lose to Fena. Look forward to seeing you again in Salt Lake City.
Starting point is 01:48:12 Love that town. I gotta hit up Redigwana. Next time I'm back there. Best enchiladas ever. Thanks for playing, you guys. Thanks for playing. Thanks, time suckers. I need a net. We all did. That's all until Friday.
Starting point is 01:48:28 Space digits get so much content this week. Three shows. Uh, and yeah, so I guess you know, that's all for you guys until Thursday. And you can listen to all on the just updated again app. Try it out if you haven't used it in a while. Hill Nimrod. Uh, don't start adjoining Nicole this week based on or heavily involved in pedophilia or prostitution.
Starting point is 01:48:45 Keep your wings and vaginas and souls clean and keep on sucking. Fucking out of the park! Fuck an elevator park!

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