Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 125 - The Black Death
Episode Date: February 4, 2019The Black Death killed between 25 and 75 million people in Europe alone in just over five years! This terrifying outbreak of the plague killed roughly 1/3 of the entire world’s population, dropping ...it from an estimated 450 million down to around 350 million. It's been labeled by various historians as The Greatest Catastrophe Ever. And we explore it's spread, how it killed you, who it killed, how it was treated (so crazy), and much more on a wild medieval ride today on Timesuck! We're donating $1600 this month to the Cancer Research Institute. www.cancerresearch.org to donate! February 7-9 Madison, Wisconsin - Comedy Club on State CLICK HERE for tix! February 9 Madison, Wisconsin LIVE ANTHILL KIDS TIMESUCK CLICK HERE for tix! February 15-17 Philadelphia, Pennsylvania - Punchline Comedy Club CLICK HERE for tix! February 22-23 Salt Lake City, Utah - Wiseguys's Comedy Club CLICK HERE for tix! February 23 Salt Lake City, Utah - Wiseguy's LIVE ANTHILL KIDS TIMESUCK CLICK HERE for tix! Listen to the best of my standup on Spotify! (for free!) https://spoti.fi/2Dyy41d Timesuck is brought to you by the following sponsors: The Broaum podcast is hosted by Timesuckers and Space Lizards Joe Dimeo and Ben Ferguson, enlightening you with important dude-centric knowledge every week! Go to www.broaum.com Best Light Collection Photography. Timesuckers who travel America taking INCREDIBLE photos. Go to www.bestlightcollection.com to buy their work or see them in person. The Great Courses Plus! So much knowledge! Start your free trial now only at TheGreatCoursesPlus.com/TIMESUCK The new Parcast Network podcast, Extraterrestrial. Listen wherever you listen to podcasts! Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Watch the Suck on Youtube: https://youtu.be/e29LkxCabGY Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 3500 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits!
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The Black Death began in the spring of 346 CE near the Caspian Sea.
By 348 it was ravaging all of Europe, estimates regarding how many people died from this massive,
apocalyptic outbreak of the bubonic plague between 1346 and 1352 when the overwhelming majority
of the deaths occurred very wildly. The most accepted conservative death toll seems to be around 25
million people. Other sources claim be around 25 million people.
Other sources claim that around 75 million people dying in Western Europe alone in just
over five years, or that the outbreak killed roughly a third of the entire world's population
dropping it from an estimated 450 million down to around 350 million, or that within two
years of the disease, making it to Europe and it already wiped out 30 to 60%
Of the continents population
regards of the true body count which we will never conclusively know due to lack of historical accounts
A lot of people couldn't read a right in the mid-14th century those who could were generally more worried about staying alive
Then they were about chronicling the constant death
Generally more worried about staying alive than they were about chronicling the constant death. We do know for sure that the black death was and still is the world's most disastrous
disease outbreak.
It's known as the greatest catastrophe ever, having taken more lives than any other natural
disaster or disease pandemic.
Henry Knighton, the Abbey of the Catholic Church of St. Mary of the Meadows, and Lester
England, wrote about the devastation he saw first hand in 1348.
Here's a few excerpts of what he witnessed.
We had died in Lester in the small parish of St. Leonard,
more than 380 persons, in the parish of Holy Cross,
400, in the parish of St. Morgats, Lester, 700,
and so in every parish a great multitude.
The pub granted full remission of all sins to anyone receiving
absolution when in danger of death, and granted that this power should last until Easter
next following, and that everyone might choose whatever confessor he pleased.
In the same year there was a great merent of sheep everywhere in Kingdom, so that in
one place in a single pasture more than 5,000 sheep died, and they putrified so that neither
bird nor beast would touch them. Everything was low in price because of the fear of death,
for very few people took any care of riches or property of any kind. The Scots, hearing
of the dreadful plague amongst the English, suspected that it had come abound through
the vengeance of God, and according to common report, they were accustomed to swear, be
the foul death of England. Believing that the wrath of God had and according to common report, they were accustomed to swear, be the foul death
of England.
Believing that the wrath of God had be followed in the English, the assembled in Selkuk
forest with the intention of invading the kingdom, when the fierce mortality overtook them,
and in a short time about 5,000 perished.
As the rest of the strong and the feeble were preparing to return to their own country,
they were followed and attacked by the English, who slew countless numbers of them.
After the pestilence, many building, great and small, fell into ruins in every city,
burrow, and village for lack of inhabitants, likewise many villages and hamlets became desolate,
not a house being left in them, all having died who dwelt there, and it was probable that
many such villages would never be inhabited.
Death so much death and the mayhem that follows the anarchy that follows so much death,
the breakdown of society, the emergence of bouts of lawlessness, the literal stench of decay,
blanketed the air of Europe during the black death, the plague wiped out up to 90% of the
inhabitants of some villages, 90% actually in a few even higher than that.
And it did so quickly.
And none of these poor bastards had to clue what was killing them, which is added to the
horror.
They had no idea how to stop it.
And many areas with local leaders dead and scared villages looking for someone to blame
for the madness that was destroying everything around them, persecutions began to break out.
Scared six suffering people tend to want someone to blame.
Entire communities of Jewish Romani and other various ethnicities,
but honestly, mostly Jewish were murdered.
Religious fanaticism was running rampant,
desperate doctors devised new ways to torture parents
and futile attempts to stop the chaos.
We dive deep into the dark ages today and man-o-man.
How dark these ages were, as we tackled
the bubonic plague in a riddled with rats, fleas, and disease pandemic mid evil addition
of Time Suck.
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But now, back to a subject that caused more deaths
and pain than any crazy Canadian co-leader, back to a subject of the Cosmore death and pain in any crazy Canadian
co-leader back to the Black Death.
All right, before we get into the story of the Babbonic plague outbreaks and explore the
chaos and widespread panic and horror that was life in Europe from 1347 to 1351, 52.
Let's figure out how lethal the plague was now.
In these days, by the way, the shift a little bit, 47 is really when it got going, 51 is
really when it kind of started to fizzle out.
But sometimes I might save 1346 because I just want to technically got there.
Sometimes I might save 1352 because it was still a little bit going and 1352.
So that's why there'll be a little bit going and 1352
So that's why they'll be a little bit of discrepancy or some discrepancies with the dates
What is the plague? The plague has been described by a lot of doctors as a really good time and something you'd be lucky to experience
plague actually means fun stuff and Latin
Symptoms of the plague include feeling at the top of your game euphoria
Sudo immortality extra sound sleep constant sense of hope and gratitude
uh, pseudo immortality, extra sound sleep, constant sense of hope and gratitude. Uh, victims also report that their muscles feel satisfied and very relaxed as if being
continuously massaged by cherubs or angels or small yet powerful women probably from
Thailand or South Korea, probably not from Poland.
The skin of plague victims often takes on a healthy angelic glow called play glow.
The feces of plague victims typically begin to smell like actual roses and become both
edible and delicious and nutritious within 24 hours of infection.
As some people know that they definitely have plague.
When they can eat their own healthy, low carb, rosy smelling, delicious poo, full of immune
system strength, protein, probiotics, and vitamins.
One serving of plague poo estimated to have 10,000 times a daily recommended dosage of vitamin
E.
Some scientists still think it can cure blindness and foster certain levitation abilities at the right doses. And of course, that's not true. Don't eat plague poo. Eating plague poo is a very
good way to get plague. A plague is an infectious disease that affects rodents, humans, various other
animals, including those poor medieval sheep we heard about from that 14th century priest.
It comes from the Yersinia pestis bacteria, a little rod shaped, cocoa bacillus, cocoa bacillus,
and it loves fleas, especially rat fleas.
Fleas are totally its BFS, like a young, tween Yersinia pestis could adorn their little
rooms, their little bacteria rooms with posters.
They'd have almost nothing but sexiest, you know,
flee posters.
There are more than 2,000 types of flee,
but it's primarily a flee known as the Oriental Rat flee
that is attributed to the plague bacteria.
As this name suggests, this flee mostly feeds on rodents,
but it can also bite humans and household pets.
Despite its name, it doesn't care if your Asian are not.
And despite its name, it wasn't named by an older casually
and possibly unintentionally racist white man
who still thinks it's okay to refer to Asian people as Oriental.
The flea can grow up to two and a half millimeters in length
and though adult fleas do not have wings,
they are able to jump up to 200 times the length of their bodies.
The fleas are brown in color,
and the reproductive organs are visible in its abdomen.
When the bacteria is ingested by the flea,
the foregut of this little flea is blocked by a biofilm
that prevents the blood that the flea host is feeding itself
on from making it all the way through
the flea's digestive process.
So the flea begins to starve despite eating all the time.
And then the hungerier the flea gets, the harder it bites its host, the harder it bites,
the harder it regurgitates the plague bacteria into the open wound on the host, it's feeding
from causing infection.
Now the bacteria is in the animal probably rat living in this bloodstream, multiplying rapidly,
and starting to kill the host.
Usually, some hosts can live.
Some hosts have immune systems that, for whatever reason, are pretty good at not allowing
this plague bacteria to kill it.
And then, if the new host acquires new, uninfected fleas, these new fleas, drink his blood and infect themselves
with some of the new bacteria.
Now jump to more animals infecting them, which in turn infects more fleas, which then infects
more animals and so on and so on and so on.
Crazy how this organism lives as a parasite and primarily furthers infection by infecting
other types of parasites,asty little double parasite situation.
This bacteria is extremely frail,
and it doesn't do well if it gets kicked out of the cycle.
It tends not to live very long if it's not inside of flee
or in another organism's blood or tissue.
When exposed to daylight, it dies quickly.
It loves blood and darkness.
How fitting for the organism behind the black death
to love blood and darkness.
I did wonder reading about its life cycle,
like where does this bacteria come from?
But it can't always and only exist
in a never-ending series of hosts, can it?
Like where does it live when it's not inside
another organism or some sort?
There appears to be a lot of scientific debate
about justice.
For a while, many microbiologists did seem to think
that the disease lived indefinitely in so-called
enzootic maintenance cycles
Enzootic that would cause little you know obvious host mortality and involve transmission between partially resistant rodents
Basically some animals wouldn't die from it
But would continue to carry it around in their bloodstream until they found other animals to infect
however North America plague causes
dioths of entire colonies of prairie dogs, for example. And then the disease will pop up
again later in the same spot. Like, how can that happen if it doesn't, if you can't live
outside a host? If it kills all of its host in the area and can't live outside of an organism,
how does it pop up again? Well, something you can hide in a lay dormant, like a sleeping monster,
or a mummy's curse until a new host of victims comes along. A 2008 scientific study confirmed
that the Yersinia Pestis remains viable and virulent after at least 40 weeks spent in sterilized
humidified sand. So it looks like it can live in some dirt, which is scary. There's a tiny
little microscopic organism, laying in some dirt somewhere, laying in the desert somewhere,
just waiting to pop up and just wreak fucking havoc, waiting to kick off another pandemic
of death and disease. And now a little flea or rat comes along and this saying this little
vampire wakes up, hops on or into a new creature, kicks off a whole new cycle of painful death.
You're a real dick, you're sinny, a past death, real douchebag of an organism.
I hope you know that no one likes you.
Humans, just like other animals, usually acquire the plague when they're bitten by a flea
that's infected with plague bacteria.
However, we meet sacks can also be infected from direct contact with the infected tissues
or fluids from another animal, sick with a plague, or one that has recently died from the plague.
People can also become infected from inhaling respiratory droplets
after close contact with other animals via pneumonic plague.
And we'll find out real soon, that's the worst fucking way to get it.
That's the one that's the most lethal,
is that form of the plague, that pneumonic plague.
Basically, some with the plague bleeds, coughs, or stasis on you,
good chance I was a little of your sinneapestus mother fuckers
gonna get into your system. And if they get into your system, the odds of your bleeds, coughs, or sneezes on you, good chance I was a little of your sinneapestus, mother fuckers, going to get into your system.
And if they get into your system, the odds of your body fighting out the disease,
real low, real low, unless you get antibiotics.
Almost everyone who got pneumonic plague would die, for example,
the mortality rate for the untreated form of the bacteria,
the pneumonic form nearly 100%.
There are three forms of the plague,
all originated from the same bacteria, three
different versions of the same horrible disease, differentiating themselves by expressing different
symptoms and attacking and infecting different body systems. There's bubonic plague, the name
most closely associated with historical pandemics, with the black death, victims of bubonic plague
experience a sudden onset of fever, headache, chills, weakness, and
one or more swollen, tender, and painful lymph nodes called buboats or plague boils.
This form is usually the result of an infected flea bite, and your lymph nodes are less,
that's kind of like your primary defenders in your immune system.
They're like an important part of the immune system, so the bacteria will attack these
lymph nodes, cause them to swell,
and that's what gives people
these crazy lumps all over their body.
The bacteria multiplying the lymph node,
closest to where the bacteria entered the human body,
if the patient is not treated with appropriate antibiotics,
none of which existed in the 14th century.
Obviously, the bacteria then can spread
to other parts of the body,
attack other lymph nodes, make it to the lungs,
make it to other organs,
and just do all kinds of bad things.
There's also a septicemic plague, and this is when patients, and this is basically when
the plague is just taken over your whole body.
Patients develop fever chills, extreme weakness, abdominal pain, shock, possibly bleeding
into the skin and other organs.
Skin and other tissues may turn black and die, especially on the fingers, toes and the nose.
That was a symptom of the plague.
These people would get like these.
Their fingers would start to rot, basically turn black before they would die.
Sounds terrible.
Septicemic plague can occur as the first symptoms of plague or can develop from untreated
bubonic or pneumonic plague.
This results from the bites of infected fleas, handling infected animal, including people,
et cetera.
There's pneumonic plague where patients develop fever, headache, weakness, and
rapidly developing pneumonia with shortness of breath, chest pain, cough, sometimes
bloodier, watery mucus.
Numonic plague may develop from inhaling infectious droplets or from untreated bubonic
receptor semit plague that spreads to the lungs.
The pneumonia may cause respiratory failure and shock.
Numonic plague is the most contagious form of the disease, the only form of the plague
that can spread from person to person by infectious droplets like through the air.
So that's how the plague spreads.
That's how it harms you.
And in pre-bottom antibiotic days, you know, it killed anywhere from 50% to damn your 100%
of those infected depending on the form there.
Best case, you have a coin toss chance of living in if the same gets you and we kill you
quick.
When these poor peasants caught this nightmare, they usually became ill, started to exhibit
symptoms two to six days after being infected, unless they caught a new monopleg, some exposed,
you know, through the air would get sick and die in the first 24 hours.
It's crazy.
You could die in the first day.
People would begin to exhibit symptoms after dinner and be dead by breakfast.
The mortality rate for the demonic plague, still hovers close to 100% if not treated.
Someone sneezes at some plague on you.
You were basically as good as dead back in the Black Death Days.
Can you imagine if a disease like that started to spread today?
The panic that would set in?
I mean, really think, let your mind go there for a second.
Like what if condoms didn't help prevent HIV?
And if you caught it, you would be dead within a day.
Like, your dick would turn black and fall off your guy
and you'd be fucking dead in a day.
That's basically equivalent.
I guess maybe in a better comparison,
what if a new hyper aggressive and lethal
just common cold, just a common
cold, but this common cold kills you in a day.
One fucker sneezes on you and you're dead, you know, by the next day.
That's a tragedy just beyond the scope of anything.
I think any of us can comprehend today.
So where did this disease come from?
Genetic research is shown that this microbevolved in around, in or around, excuse me, China
more than 2600 years ago.
Followed humans around the globe, Eastern Mongol invaders were thought to have brought
the plague that led to the black death with them to the now infamous siege of Kafa in
1346.
Infected corpses were literally catapulted over the city walls in the siege.
We're going to talk about this in great detail a little bit.
A barbaric early form of biological warfare. And that would lead to the greatest disaster Europe had ever seen.
And this disaster will kick off today's Times Like Timeline, which we will dive into
right after a word from one of today's sponsors.
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Time now for reels for a time-sub timeline.
1346, the siege of Kaffa.
This work today's time site begins even though the Black Deaths was likely not the first
outbreak of the plague bacteria to hit Europe.
We'll discuss other historical outbreaks briefly after today's timeline. The little city of Kaffa is known presently as Fadosia,
Faeodosia, a port in Resort Town, about 70,000 people on the Crimea peninsula on the Black
Sea. It's across the Black Sea to the north from present day Turkey. It sits in an area
that is long with under dispute when it comes to who rules it. Even now the peninsula is torn between Russia and Ukraine after Russia annexed it in 2014
with an annexation that has been disputed by many, disputed by many to this day.
Back in the mid-14th century, the area was ruled by the Mongols, kind of.
The Mongols, the Mongol Empire had fractured in the mid-13th century and this area was ruled
by one of the conates, the Golden Horde. This conate was ruled by the, the, the, the Totters, allies of the Mongols who originated
in present-day Russia, essentially it was still culturally Mongol.
It's complicated and it's not necessary to dive in today.
I don't want our, our history buffs to wig out when I say Mongol in place of, uh,
Totter, but that's what's going to happen.
Um, uh, if you actually dig into it, the, um, the term Mongol is usually used, yeah, I
know. I know. But the term still works here. And I like the word Mongol more than I like
the word totter. I don't like saying it. Totter. Are you a totter? Do you like totters?
Sounds weird. The Mongols, sorry, if you're a totter. The Mongols in the late 13th century
had allowed a group of Italian traders from the Republic of Genoa to establish a trading
settlement at Kafa. And it became very successful. had allowed a group of Italian traders from the Republic of Genoa to establish a trading settlement at Caffa.
And it became very successful.
Everyone made a lot of money.
Except the slaves that were traded out of this port.
They, of course, made zero money and treated horribly, always terrible to be a slave.
Caffa virtually monopolized trade in the Black Sea region.
It became a major seaport housing one of Europe's largest slave markets.
The Mongols benefited immensely from the Genoese businesses in the bustling city as it earned
them access to Italy's largest commercial center, stimulated trade across its vast empire,
an empire that put it in contact with that damn plague bacteria.
The plague may have originated in the goby desert of the Far East, it covers parts of northern
and northwestern China, some of Southern Mongolia,
a land ruled by the Mongols. Local nomads had known for centuries to avoid the rats of this area.
There's a chance that the disease evolved into being in this area and had been killing the
occasional nomad for hundreds of years. And Mongol trade routes may have brought the bacteria east
from this desert to the shores of the Black Sea. Many of the Mongols in this area have been practicing Muslims from the 1200s on and the Genoese
merchants were Christians and occasionally religious differences led to conflicts.
One of these conflicts would lead to the Black plague, a European outbreak.
Shocking, right?
Wait a minute.
That's so weird.
That's so weird that one people who believed that their God should be called this name would
fight and kill other people who believe that their God should be called that name.
Fucking crazy.
I'd be curious to see how many people have died fighting in battles that were primarily
religious conflicts over the entirety of the world's history.
I bet over a billion.
And that's not a shot of religion.
If we didn't have religion to fight over, I'm positive.
We would find or would have found historically some other reason to kill each other.
Meats axe. We can be such a short-sighted greedy blood-thirsty bunch.
1343, there was a fight between Genoese Christians and local Muslims in another Genoese outpost
on the Black Sea in present day, as of, Russia, and local Muslim ended up dead.
And some Genoese Christians were blamed.
And they didn't feel like sticking around to see how a trial would play out So they fled the walled or they fled to the walled city of Kafa where they were granted protection
Given asylum there so Mongol soldiers
They followed the Geno East of Kafa demanded the city handle for these culprits
Shocked when Kafa refused to open city gates and let them in or hand over the men in question and
Furiated the con of the golden horde johnny beg uh... chose to
attack and uh... and thirteen forty three the mongolese siege to the city of kafa
kafa didn't turn out to be the easy victory they were hoping for uh... kafa fought back
in the sun in fashion even though they were just a small port city surrounded by mongol
territory they had access to the sea and to powerful friends that quickly sent supplies
in military reinforcements
over from Italy. The first siege ended after the Mongols retreated suffering about 15,000 deaths
and heavy damage to their siege equipment. They left the battle, but they weren't done with the
Christians. Two years later, in 1345, Johnny Begg returned bearing more than just siege machinery.
bearing more than just siege machinery. I have no idea.
His name is J-A-N-I-B-E-G,
and I couldn't find a pronunciation guide for Johnny Beggs.
Sounds so, or Janie, Janie Begg.
It sounds like a weird like butt rock lead singer.
I'm Janie Begg, and welcome to, I don't know fucking now,
the pumpkin smashin' whatever. Sounds like fucking know the pumpkin smash and whatever.
Tell me some cross between like Cinderella and warrant.
Anyway, uh, this time he unknowingly brought the black death,
which have been ravaging portions of central Asia on and off since 1331.
So while the Mongols laid seized the city of Kafa again,
their ranks were now being struck by a mysterious illness.
According to an account of the events of Crimea, the tutors suddenly found themselves
falling on all sides as though they had been struck
by thunder with lumps on their joints,
dark marks on their face.
They developed a putrid fever, began to quickly perish.
Despite heavy losses to disease,
they fought bravely on into 1346,
but constantly being killed by an enemy,
they couldn't see, they just couldn't conquer Kafa.
And so then they did something outlandish.
They decided to use the disease that was destroying them as a weapon.
They decided if they couldn't beat the Genoese, they would at least share the torment they
experienced.
So sometime in late 1346 or early 1347, they began loading up their trebuchets, these
giant medieval catapult, these big sling
shot type devices, military siege predecessors to cannons.
Typically, you would use big swinging wooden arms to hurl boulders into fortress walls
or something similar.
Well, they were now loading these things up with the plague infected bodies of the rotting
dead and launching them into the town of Kaffirville.
Medieval biological warfare. can you believe that shit?
Think about that.
One day you're a soldier in Kaffa.
You're used to boulders and arrows coming at you.
You're used to the Mongols trying to slap a ladder up and scale the wall and get inside.
You're used to them trying to ram the gate open and storm the city.
And then one day, just out of nowhere.
You suddenly see these guys fucking put one of their dudes into the catapult.
You're like, what? And then you see one of the Mongols own dead soldiers literally flying through
the air into your city. What the fuck? On the display of against a building or something,
just splattering their putrid rotting bodies under your walls, buildings, and streets.
I mean, imagine fighting someone using their own dead soldiers as weapons.
Imagine if we flew over not to control cities
in World War II and dropped bodies instead of bombs.
At first, these genitalia soldiers emerged
and had to think the Mongols had lost their minds.
A body isn't gonna knock down a wall
or these crazy assholes doing.
And you have to wonder,
did the Mongols even really know what they were doing?
I mean, no one knew how disease is spread back then.
People were far more likely to think they were being punished by God
and think that a tiny microorganism was attacking them.
But maybe they did suspect, they probably did suspect that,
you know, that you could catch whatever was happening
from someone who already had it.
Or maybe they just knew that suddenly having a city full of
especially bad smelling corpses would just be an extremely
unpleasant and possibly demoralizing thing to happen.
We don't know.
We just know that they really did start catapulting bodies into the sky.
So crazy to me.
These trebuchets could throw an object of a few hundred pounds up to a thousand feet.
They fucking launched these dudes.
How weird is that for the Mongo soldiers as well?
All right, so it allowed the projectile.
No, not that rock, not this time. We have new orders from the con today put him in the sling
Him or comrade, but that's Greg's hour. I know it's Greg. I'm not blind but Greg's dead
He won't mind Willie, but shouldn't we bury him sir? Greg was like a brother to me
He fought well. He deserves a proper burial
Greg deserves to be full over the wall. It's what Greg wouldn't want it
He fought for his life and he will fight for us in death.
If Greg wanted a proper burial, then Greg shouldn't have got sick. Okay, he should have got us in the city. Greg doesn't get a burial now. Greg, it's fucking fun.
Load the Greg. Aim the Greg. Fired the Greg.
Soldier goodbye, dear Greg. Wow. Why's it kind of beautiful really? But just to keep it.
Goodbye, dear Greg. Wow, why is it kind of beautiful really,
majestic even.
Never thought I'd see Greg soar like an eagle,
like a condor.
Forget about Greg, soldier, load the chuck.
Aim the chuck, fire the chuck.
I know that has, an accident has nothing to do with Mongols,
but I just, I went with the military act.
Uh, well, I really think about this launchy thing.
I'm, I kinda wanna go out that way, right?
If I'm already dead, I kinda of want to be treated that way.
What a fun funeral that would be, like for real, make it a game.
For my funeral, Lindsay listen up, for my funeral, I want my body to be launched out of
a giant catapult, ideally into the sea, because I don't want to fucking splatter it and
make a big mess to everybody.
Launch me into the sea, put me on a beach or like a pier or something, and make a big mess to everybody. Launch me into the sea, put me on like a like a beach or like a pier or something and put a little buoy out like 200 yards. You fling me past
that buoy, everyone at the funeral wins a hundred dollar gift certificate. Alright, if you at least
get me in some deep water, everyone gets like a ten dollar gift certificate. You get a ten dollar
Starbucks gift certificate if I just make it into the water. But then I also want like a burning funeral pyre like 300 yards out.
If you can land me on that fire, oh shit. Everyone just won a new F on 50. I'm gonna have
four sponsor my funeral best funeral ever. Four tough. Launch the Dan. Aim the Dan. Launch
him. Anyways, Gabriel Demusey, a general easeease lawyer, who had witnessed the literal launch of
the dead, just believed to have recorded the first account of the plague attacking Europe.
He later wrote this eye-witness account in 1348.
The Dian Tatas, standent stupified by the immensity of the disaster brought about by the
disease, realizing that they had no hope of escape, lost interest in the siege.
But they ordered corpses to be placed in catapults and lobbed into the city in the hope that the intolerable stench would kill everyone inside. What
seemed like mountains of dead were thrown into the city and the Christians could not hide
or flee or escape from them, although they dumped as many bodies as they could into the
sea. As soon as the rotting corpses tainted the air and poisoned the water supply and the
stench was so overwhelming that hardly one in several thousand one is in position to
flee the remains of the Tata army
More over one infected man could carry the poison to others and infect people in places with the disease by look alone
No one knew or could discover a means of defense. God man had been so crazy
Right, you just trying to get these bodies in the sea and dump them to get away from it
And they just keep launching one after another
load the Charlie.
Fire the Charlie. Load the Dennis. Fire the Dennis.
Just fucking body, everybody, like stop fucking throwing your bodies on us.
As poor Genoese bastard been fighting the Mongols off, you know, for years.
Reinforcements come, they still control the shipping lanes in the Black Sea,
Morales from, you know, high for a while, and then these Mongols, sons of bitches are flinging dead into the city,
dead with dark purple or black lumps all over their bodies, just rotting fingers.
Ah, just a stench.
Just permeates everything, just a man, the shock and gore and horror of it all.
And suddenly within a few days, maybe within a week or a month or so tops.
After the first body, splats against their streets, one of their own gets sick, really sick.
The lumps they've seen on the enemy corpses now appears on one of them.
Soon they see other plague signs, coughing up blood, skin turning black, then often within
a day of showing symptoms, the genoes are dying, the corpses adding to the corpses still
literally being flung on them.
The horror of the black death has hit Europe in what in dramatic fashion. In early
1347, Genoese merchants began to try and flee the death and despair of coffee. They get
their boats. They're like, fucking, let's get out of here. This is a terrible place to
be. They sail back towards Italy and they bring the nightmare with them and greatly accelerate
the spread of the disease in Europe. In May of 1347, Italian ships from Kaffa, or Kaffa
arrived in Constantinople
with the Black Death on board.
The epidemic breaks loose there in early July.
In North Africa and the Middle East,
did plague arrives around September 1st?
Have you made it to Cleopatra's
all hang out of Alexandria via, you know,
merchant ship coming out of Constantinople?
Spreads from Constantinople to various other European
Mediterranean commercial hubs in the fall of 1347, reaches Marseille,
a sea port in Southeast France by about the second week of September, and November of 1347,
Genoese merchants fleeing Kafa have made it to their hometowns of Genoa and Venice with the
plague on board. By the time they have arrived, almost no one is still alive on the ship,
or ships, ships of the dead and dying, or arriving in Italian ports,
like something out of some dystopian horror movie,
the deeply religious Christians of the area must have been
thinking this was the end of times.
God has come back and he's very angry.
On their way home, ships from Genoa also contaminate
Florence's seaport city of Pisa,
and then all these great commercial cities
and ports quickly launched the disease via inland traveling
merchants to most of the rest of Europe. Certain out of the way towns would be completely left alone, These great commercial cities and ports quickly launch the disease via inland traveling merchants
to most of the rest of Europe.
Certain out of the way towns would be completely left alone.
Little rural villages had very little contact with the outside kind of world.
Some of them would be spared entirely.
Other towns would be eviscerated and just fucking wiped off the map.
In a few mere months, the plague is spread throughout all Italy, half of Spain and France,
down the coast of Dalmatia, on the Adriatic Sea and north into Germany.
It's spread with alarming speed through Tuscany, to Florence, Siena, and Rome.
When the pestilence reached Milan, the occupants of the first three houses at Struck were
walled up, sick or not, and just left to die inside.
Harsh, ordered by the archbishop, but it appeared to succeed to some degree from along with
suffered less plague deaths than almost any other major Italian city.
Florence, or I think I actually suffered less deaths than all the other major Italian cities.
Florence, the thriving Prosper center of trade and culture, not so lucky.
It was hit particularly hard by some estimates losing as much as 65,000 residents, roughly
a third of its population. The Italian poet Bo Caccio, a man whose most famous work, the Dijkameran, centered around
a group of people fleeing Florence to avoid the plague, wrote his brother about what he
witnessed at this time.
His brother was living in a monastery in Montreux, and France was the only survivor of 35
people there. His brother remained in the monastery alone withreux, in France, was the only survivor of 35 people
there. His brother remained in the monastery alone with his dog to guard and tend it after
everyone else was dead. And Abacaccio, I think I say, is Abacaccio, wrote, my brother,
my brother, my brother, a new beginning to a letter, though used by Cicero 1400 years
ago. Alas, my beloved brother, what shall I say?
How shall I begin?
Withers shall I turn.
On all sides is sorrow, everywhere is fear.
I would, my brother, that I had never been born, or at least had died before these times.
How will posterity believe that there has been a time when without the lightenings of heaven
or the fires of earth, without wars or other visible slaughter?
Not this or that part of the earth,
but well-nigh the whole globe has remained without inhabitants.
When has any such thing ever been heard of seen? In what annals has it ever been read that houses were left vacant?
Cities deserted, the country neglected, the fields too small for the dead, and a fearful and universal solitude over the whole earth.
Oh, happy people of the future who have not known these miseries and perchance will class
our testimony with the fables.
We have indeed deserve these punishments and even greater, but our forefathers also have
deserve them and may our posterity not also merit the same.
So he's trying to tell people, man, I sweat this sounds fucking crazy. But I swear this happened.
It was really this bad. As I worked on this section notes, I
was sitting in a hotel room, overlooking downtown New
Brunswick, New Jersey. I can see a few church steeples. I
various apartment condos, you know, stores, a few parking lots,
parks, and even though it was cold out, people were walking
around the streets below,
and I just started wondering what it would be like
to look down and just see death and mayhem,
just likeless bodies, right?
Laying all over the streets
because there wasn't enough healthy people still living
to remove them.
What if the park had been converted into a mass grave
before the grave diggers themselves died?
What if I could hear coffee and wailing
from some rooms down the hall?
You know, what if some of the living below were covered in dark lumps? themselves died. What if I could hear coffee and wailing from some rooms down the hall?
You know, what if some of the living below were covered in dark lumps? What if some were
coughing up blood? You know, what if I started to feel a fever myself? That was the reality
for people like Bacaccio, like what they were seeing.
And Sienna, work on a cathedral was permanently interrupted by the plague. Workers died or
grew too ill to continue and money for the project was diverted to deal with the health crisis. By the time the plague was over, the city had
lost half its population, and there was no more funds for church building. The partially
constructed transept was patched up in abandoned, and it can still be seen to date, still left
like this. I looked at a bunch of pictures online, and just like the nave of this Sienic
cathedral, this unfinished nave, so creepy when you think about why it was left unfinished.
Right? It's just a 14th century time capsule. Just this monument to the plague stands to this day, a project stopped mid-project by this vicious disease. Fucking fleas, man, fleas, rats,
continually spreading pain. The last stone's placed in this project stone so you can look at it today.
Put there by workers who probably died of the plague right there putting that last little piece in
You know for the day that the fever started to overtake them starting to feel a few lumps appearing on their body
Start to feel weak start to have trouble breathing start to think oh fuck not me. No, not me. Please God not me
Be any think about those they just seem die that morning the night before thinking of the agony coming for them now holy shit
Whatever your problems were the day before the play,
hit, uh, worrying about money,
worrying about a little fight you got in with your wife or husband or father or mother,
worrying about your wedding ceremony coming up.
It's going to be like what you want it to be or if the cobblers going to finally fix
your shoes. None of that means dick now.
Death to suddenly all you can think of, I just want to live all around you.
It's what you lay in bed and dread at night.
Fucking crazy.
These initial peasants were especially afraid of a plague death due to what it could mean
for their eternal souls.
In the early months of the plague devastation, many peasants died thinking they were probably
going to hell.
They believed that if you weren't given last rights of dissolving you of your sins before
you died, that you were probably going to burn in hell forever.
These people died in agony and fear, fear for their souls. So much concern about not being able to get
last rights, uh, that eventually Pope Clement VI granted remission of sin to anyone who
died from the plague. Uh, speaking of the Pope, uh, um, from our say the disease moved north
to Avion, uh, Av, Av, Av, Avion, Avion, Avion, Avion. Avion. Unless on 30 days in October, the seat of the
papacy had been moved from Rome to Avion in the early part of the 14th century and new
Pope Clement VI occupied the post as a spiritual leader of all Christian dumb. Clement decided
he would be no use to anyone if he was dead, so he made it his business to survive. His
physicians helped matters along by insisting he remained isolated, which did help him
stay alive, and they would keep him warm, just having him sit between two roaring fires.
Just stay there, sleep between the two fires.
They said two fires going around him, pretty much twenty-fifth of a day.
Not pretty much, definitely twenty-four hours a day.
And it worked.
Historians think the heat of those fires kept
the rats and fleas away. And that's how the problem remained free of the plague. Unfortunately,
a quarter of Clemen staff at least a quarter died in Avignon before the disease was done.
It was a room between those two fires for everyone. I bet he didn't want anybody near him.
Your holiness, I am freezing. I am deeply saddened from the constant death I can use
warmth my various soul is frozen can I certain pray near your fire there is no
room go away but your holiness the fires are big and the room is large there
is actually plenty of space for our to see you're still my heat you'll take
all my heat now will perish begun now with you now but your holiness I'm quite
sure that that is not how fire works.
There will be the same amount of heat hitting both of our bodies.
You're covered in fleas.
I can see them.
I can see the fleas jumping and biting.
It's too late for you.
I either jump into the fire yourself and add to the warmth or go back and count how many
people are coughing and avignon.
I need to know how much longer this will go on.
Be a dear.
Throw a few more logs on the fire before you head out to the parish.
Once the disease had traveled along most of the trade routes in Europe by early 1348,
its exact course becomes more difficult in some areas nearly impossible to plot.
We know that it penetrated into Bavaria by June of 1348.
Its course across the rest of Germany is uncertain.
While the South of England also infected by June of 1348, the rest of germany is uncertain while the south of england also infected by june of thirteen forty eight the worst of the
epidemic didn't hit the majority of great britain till thirteen forty nine
hit britain hard uh... the first outbreak of plague swept across england
traveling across the south and bubonic form during the summer months of thirteen
forty eight before newtating into the even more frightening mnemonic form with the
onset of winter
it hit london in september thirteen forty eight spread to the eastern coast even more frightening, mnemonic form was the onset of winter. It hit London in September
1348, spread to the Eastern coast early during the next year. By spring of 1349, it was ravaging
whales in the Midlands by late summer. It had made the leap across the Irish Sea and also penetrated
north into Scotland. Scots were quick to take advantage of their English neighbors discomfort,
raiding Durham in 1349 as we heard about in the beginning of the suck and the plague attacks Scotland by the end of 1349 yet early 1350 like I said one graphic testimony can
be found in St. Mary's as well her for Chire where anonymous hand has carved a heroin inscription
for the year of 1349.
All they carved was rich, terrible, destructive year.
The remnants of the people alone remain.
Rumors of a terrible plague sweeping like wildfire across Europe, it had been rumbling for some time.
It's not surprised that the vibrant trading port
of Bristol was the first major town in Britain
to be affected.
It had close connections with European continent,
ships, man merchant ships,
and the rats and fleas on board.
Spread that plague around Europe like no, he's business.
The pestilence arrived in London,
in November of 1348, showed up in time for the feast of all saints on the first and
Groose so powerful that between candle mass and Easter between February 2nd, April 12th more than 200 corpses were buried every day
And the new burial ground made next to Smithfield
This was in addition to the bodies buried in other graveyards in the city
What made things worse was the fact that London was almost certainly hit by a combined attack of pneumonic
and bubonic plague. The bacteria was spreading rapidly in both forms, rats, fleas, coughs,
and sneezes, pushing it all over the damn place, raged and run until the spring of 1350
generally assumed to have killed between a third and a half of the entire population.
And just over a year's time, I mean, imagine your city, losing half its population in about, you know, a year,
unfathomable.
In some British villages, it was far worse,
80 to 90% of the population died in certain places
in Kilkenny, Ireland.
The death rate was allegedly almost 100%
in Spain and Portugal to play crept inland
from port cities at a somewhat slower pace
than it did in Italy and France.
In the war at Grenada, Muslim soldiers were
the first to succumb to the illness, and some feared the horrific disease was Allah's
punishment, and they even contemplated converting to Christianity.
Before they could do so, however, their Christian enemies also struck down, making it clear
that the plague took no notice of religious affiliation.
It was in Spain that the only major ruling monarch of Europe would die of this disease.
The advisors of King Alfonso XI of Castile begged him to isolate himself, but he refused
to leave his troops and then he got sick and died on March 26, 1350.
By 1349, after having infected virtually all of us in Europe and half of Central Europe,
this spread of the plague finally began to slow down.
Most of Europe and Britain now keenly aware that a horrible pandemic was amongst them.
The more affluent have been fleeing
the heavily populated areas, retreating to the countryside.
By 1349, many of the areas that had initially been afflicted
were beginning to see the end of the first wave.
However, in the more heavily populated cities,
it was only a temporary, temporary respite,
Paris, London, other major,
crowded areas suffered several waves
if the plague and fallen years. Not as bad as the first wave, but it would come back a few
years later, a decade later, and kill a bunch of people all over again.
At some point late 1349, the plague made its way north to Norway in the most nightmarish
creepy way.
By this time, quarantine has been put in effect in most European ports because of the
plague.
The word quarantine comes from the plague.
Ships arriving in Venice from other infected ports had started to be required to sit at
anchor for 40 days before coming to shore. The word quarantine derived from the Italian
words Quartana di Orni, which means 40 days. The practice didn't keep the plague from
reaching Venice, didn't stop it from reaching Norway either. A ship carrying wool sailed
from London in late 1349 bound for Norway, and this ship was
doomed in a way I've never read about a shipping doom before.
The journey should have only taken around 10 days, not counting the quarantine.
Well, one or more of the sailors had apparently been infected before the vessels departure,
and by the time it made it to the quarantine, the entire crew was dead, all of them.
Just a big trading ship with an entirely dead crew floating off the coast of Norway.
If it were just sunk, Norway may have been spared from the plague or at least for a
while longer.
But the ship kept quietly drifting on, plague infested rats and fleas of the only living
passengers.
And then it ran aground near Bergen, Norway, where
some curious Norwegians went aboard to investigate its mysterious arrival and got infected.
Oostah, we're very sick now. The plague was often running. From Bergen, the plague spread
rapidly northward southwards along the coast, overland to eastern Norway. The plague deaths
remained in Norway for approximately six months by 1350 to reach Sweden by 1351.
It bounced over into, you know, present day like Finland, North East and Russia.
The plague spread slower in these areas may not have been quite as devastating due to
fewer urban areas, long hard winters, long distance between, you know, townships, fewer
heavily traded trade routes.
By 1351, the black debts was largely over.
Although recurrent outbreaks of the plague in isolated areas would continue off and off
for centuries, but it would never ravage Europe in the same way again.
And I should note that even during the black debt that you plague largely did spare some
parts of Europe, including isolated parts of Belgium and the Netherlands.
Milan, as we said, wasn't heavily affected.
The modern day, France, Spain, border wasn't heavily affected.
Usually, these places weren't affected because of isolated geography, political isolation,
just whatever they weren't interacting much with the rest of Europe.
The plague also largely spared the kingdom of Poland.
Research has determined that even plague flees and plague rats are grossed out by Polish
people and found out that their blood tastes like rancid parogies and the disease just doesn't
it doesn't care for them.
If you were Polish, the black deaths was a great time to be alive.
There was suddenly plenty of work because all of a sudden the rest of Europe people who
would normally chase you around with a pitchfork has got intended.
We're now willing to treat you as if you were almost a human being and give you work. Uh, never get sold. Uh, to me, at least I'm sure some of you are sick of
my constant Polish character assassinations. Now the plague really did spare the kingdom of Poland,
though. Uh, why? Well, no one knows for absolute certain, but solid Polish leadership seems to be
major factor. Not joking now. Who knew? Uh, King Cosomearomer the great was a beloved and respected ruler uh... in
fourteen century pollen seriously sounded a kick ass fella most polish cities have been uh...
renovated from the ground up during his reign this could have helped limit the spread of the plague
you know better infrastructure less crowded better sanitation he also kept borders sealed for the
plague duration he enforce the isolation of towns,
may not have understood the science of how the disease spread,
but he did know that when someone got infected with the plague,
when they showed up into town,
other people started to get sick.
So the best way to spread the disease
was to isolate your community.
He knew that.
Also Poland had relatively fewer people
back then compared to most other European kingdoms.
It was actually during the reign of King Cosmere,
the great to the population of his kingdom
would explode due to a prosperity
many under his rule benefited from.
Also helped that Poland was more rural during the play gears
than many surrounding countries.
And finally, this is totally random,
and I'm not sure it's even true, but I found it interesting.
Found this on a historical reddit thread
and felt compelled to share it.
Supposedly, Poland had a lot more cats, not kidding, than the average European nation around
this time, and these cats may have helped out.
It's a theory.
Cats, supposedly, were not killed in Poland due to a lack of superstition there regarding
cats that did exist elsewhere.
Polish warned us worried about them being, you know, Harbingers, Harbingers of the devil or
the Satan's minions or witches fucking sidekicks or anything.
So because there were more cats, there were fewer rats around for the fleas to jump on
because the cats had held the rat populations down.
Again, I don't know if that's totally accurate, but I found it interesting.
Bojangles thinks there's a bunch of bullshit.
Our one-eyed, three-legged Pipple defender and mascot mascot he thinks that cats are demonic in nature and that if anything they started to
plague
to kill off both dogs and humans
so they can rule the world and piss and shit uh... wherever they please
so you know that's another perspective to add to all this
uh... in the fall of thirteen fifty one the plague reached the russian town of scoff
by the by the spring of thirteen fifty two the plague reached uh... novice
novice garrard russia by thirteen fifty three the spring of 1352, the plague reached Navgarad, Russia by 1353, the
plague of reach Moscow and he killed an estimated 30 to 50% of the population in all of those places.
And then by 1354, while occasional recurrences of plague would continue to ravage various cities
and areas with outbreaks for centuries, the black deaths was basically done with Europe.
Those who survived were going to likely live until something else was going to get them,
and Europe started to rebuild, pull itself out of the wreckage and carnage that the Black
Death had left it in.
And that takes us out of today's time stock timeline.
Good job, soldier.
You made it back.
Barely. BANG! BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
BANG!
Before we discuss other areas outside of Europe, ravaged by the Black Death, other historical
plague pandemics and sane plague and medical treatments and more, uh, a word from today's
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Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, b good, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
sorry.
Now back to the black desk.
Why did salt and pepper just show up in my head?
I don't even know.
I wasn't planned.
Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum,
I haven't thought of that in years.
Ah, when you look at the, Dad, the bulk of information.
I have so many tunes in my head all the time, by the way.
I try to fight it.
There's always a tune, Lindsey knows.
My wife knows I'm mumbling about weird shell of time,
constantly fighting, like, sometimes I feel like that's why I get distracted
even with my notes and messing up,
because I'm trying to keep the tune quiet in my head.
Like this entire episode, because of last week's episode,
because of Mossman, the whole time I've been talking today.
Mossman, burning out a few of those.
Always, the whole episode in my head.
Okay, yeah, when you look into the black death,
you'll come across a lot of information dealing
with the plague effect affecting Europe, but it
didn't just devastate Europe.
The plague traveled to Europe from Asia.
What kind of damage did it do over there?
In 1331, almost two decades before the plague made it to Europe, the plague was fucking
up Asia big time.
And outbreak erupted in the Yuan Empire in 1331, may have hastened the end of Mongol rule
in China.
The epidemic ravaged the empire.
Millions of people died in Ube province of Northeastern China alone.
As of 1200, China had a total population of more than 120 million, but a 1393 census
found only 65 million Chinese surviving.
Some of the missing population killed by famine and upheaval in the transition from the U
onto Ming rule, but untold millions and millions and all likelihood died of the bubonic plague.
Most of them likely died in the early and mid-thirteenth century.
From its origin at the eastern end of the Silk Road, the Black Death Road trade routes,
west stopping central Asian care of anseries, which are basically old school care of
anttruck stops and Middle Eastern trade centers and subsequently infected people all across Asia.
The Egyptian scholar, Al Masraqi, noted that
more than 300 tribes all perished without apparent reason
in their summer and winter encampments
and the course of pasturing their flocks
and during their seasonal migration.
He claimed that all of Asia was depopulated
as far as the Korean Peninsula
and has crazed it like, you know, various tribes all perished.
I bet they did, because even the plague didn't kill everybody in that caravan and you're
trying to get to the desert.
It probably in many cases killed enough people where the rest of the people weren't able
to continue to survive without the help of the people who had just died.
They would depend on each other to get through these, you know, deserts and stuff. And if the people who were good at getting your fucking food and keeping the caravan
moving, if your horses and everything were dying too, well, you're gone.
1335, the Mongol ruler of Persia in the Middle East, Abu-Sed, died of bubonic plague during
a war with his northern cousins, the Golden Horde. This signal to begin at the end of
Mongol rule in the region, an estimated 30% of Persia's people died of the plague in the mid 14th
century. One European merchant noted several years before the plague hit Europe that India
was depopulated. Tatarie, Mesopotamia, Syria, Armenia were covered with dead bodies, the
Kurds fled and vane to the mountains. What about Africa?
Written records for Africa just, sadly, just not as common from the era as they were in
Europe and Asia.
Much harder to determine exactly how much damage the plague did there.
But one plague scholar, expert in William and Mary associate professor of history and director
of the Medieval and Renaissance studies program, Gerard Chauin, is determined to find out
that for four years of work
shown is adamant that the medieval arabubonic plague
uh... spread the sub-Saharan africa and killed as many people there is it did in
europe
so i mean in total the plague may have reduced the world population for
estimated four hundred fifty million
down to three hundred fifty million in the late fourteen century
numbers that would have been far higher
if europeans had already been traveling to north and south amer with a plague, you know, didn't kill anybody. It would
take roughly 200 years for the world population to recover to its previous level. It set
the world's population kind of growth, you know, back two centuries. So now we have a
pretty good idea of how this disease spread and how much damage it did. Once Europe knew
that a pestle was upon it, once the body started to stack up, how did
various communities try to stop the plague? How did they try to
treat the plague? Arguably the worst part of getting sick in
the 14th century was the fact that real doctors did not exist.
At all, there were people considered to be doctors, people who
thought of themselves as doctors, and they made the biggest
quacks of today look like medical geniuses. These guys had no
fucking clue what they were doing when it came to disease.
Getting strong antibiotics and getting them quickly gives you the best chance of surviving
a plague infection today.
They didn't have that.
Medieval doctors mainly treated the disease with various herb concoctions or blood-letting,
blood-letting, terrible way to treat the plague.
It's a terrible way to treat basically anything.
A great way to spread the plague.
Herbs don't do shit when it comes to the plague.
A little bit of rosemary, a little bit of basil, oregano.
Might make your chicken taste better.
It's not going to help you not die of plague.
Prayer was a common medical treatment, but you know,
you don't get to pray the plague away.
A lot of people tried, millions tried, and millions died.
On 14th century, you're up the main medical diagnostic method
with studying urine.
That's where, you know, doctorate was at.
When they didn't have cat scans, you're gonna get an MRI,
they were just gonna check out your piss,
and be like, ah, looks sick.
Doesn't look good, looks like a bad piss.
The image of a doctor holding up a urine flask
epitomized the height of medical knowledge at the time,
I'm not kidding.
And they wouldn't just look at urine,
they would smell and taste it. Yee-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e-e of the, um, um, yes, yes, yes, mm-hmm, that tastes like plague piss to me. Uh, I suspect
you had to plague after looking at the purple lumps, steadily blackening fingers, increasingly
bloody coffee fits. But now we have the, the analysis, the test results to confirm my
suspicions, your, your piss is, is definitely plague piss. I would normally recommend a
course of treatment involving the smell of lavender and covering you and leeches, perhaps cutting your arms.
But we've been out of leeches for weeks. We have no lavender, so I grab some dandelions.
The best I can do under the circumstances, please sniff these. I shall poke you in the
arm in a few places to get your blood leaving your body. Pray as hard as you sniff the dandelions. Will it work, Doctor? Will I live? Yes, there's a very good chance you'll survive.
I'm one of the best plague doctors. I cure almost one in 20 of my patients. If you excuse
me, I'm really need to be tough myself. This large, dark boils are driving me quite
crazy. I need to get rid of more blood, get some better piss in my system before I carry
on. Maybe sniff some juniper berries.
Obviously the treatments are not working on.
When people kept dying, doctors got more desperate
and creative in their attempts to stop the plague.
Some doctors resorted to rubbing actual human shit
on the plague bureaus for real.
The inflamed lymph nodes,
the armpits are growing,
so the plague victim would often be opened up,
I can't imagine how painful that would be.
So they would open up to get the left of disease,
leave the body, you know, you gotta cut it open,
get the blood coming out of there,
so the disease can flee,
and then they would make this mixture of tree resin,
flower roots, and human shit,
like a little shit putty,
and they would fucking push that in your open lymph node sore area and then and then you know
Kind of wrap you up to make sure the shit stays in there my god
That had to be so painful and that had to greatly accelerate your infection
There's no way anyone survived that if they had to play and then had a bunch of shit
Rub inside of their body if they did man play and then had a bunch of shit rub inside of
their body. If they did, man, you're a tough son of a bitch. You survived that treatment.
I hope I hope you're one of my ancestors. I hope I have some of your genetics. If you're
that fucking tough, urine became marketed not only as a diagnostic tool, but as a cure
as well. Some plague victims told that if they bathed in urine a few times a day, it could
save them.
Right?
If you had the money to buy that much piss, drinking urine also encouraged.
Just drink, but you got drink healthy urine.
You can't drink some nasty ass plague urine.
That's fucking gross.
Come on, man.
Drink quality piss.
There's a glass or two of clean piss a day keeps the plague away.
Drinking piss every day keeps the plague far away.
During the years of Black Death,
clean, uninfected urine was collected
and given or sold to people.
If you're healthy, you can make some sweet side money.
Just sell in jars of your own piss.
People did that.
People made money selling urine for other people to drink.
Imagine that on a resume today.
Or coming up like a job.
You know, trying to get a job.
I'm a little confused regarding what you did in 1999.
It appears you stopped working a hot topic in 1998.
I didn't get employed by buckle until 2001.
What were you doing for those other years?
There was a playout break and I made some piss money
for a couple of years.
Come again?
My piss. I sold it for people to drink so they wouldn't get years. Come again? My piss.
I sold it for people to drink so they wouldn't get sick.
Did that work?
No, no, not at all.
I think I made them quite a bit sicker, but I made good money.
A lot of money in piss if you can find the right market.
Many people believe the disease were spread by my smell back then, so a lot of the treatments
and preventative measures revolved around creating either pleasant or horrible smells.
Some peasants would fill their home with flowers and herbs, like a little popery, keep the
stink of decaying bodies away, because they thought that's how you got sick, you know, you
smell the stink.
Others would try to out stink the plague.
They would let various animals rot outside their doorsteps or inside their homes.
Other, so fucked up.
Just picture just like outside the cottage,
just like a couple dead dogs just rotting away,
maybe a couple rotting raccoons or one of those,
one of those, dang, I can't think of that animal
that pretends to be possum.
Couple possums, every go, a couple dead possums, just lay down around the house.
Just so gross.
Others thought smelling their own shit
would keep the plague away,
and they would lock themselves in latrines,
and they would breathe in just as much poo aroma
as they could.
In some bigger cities,
some attempted to live underground in the sewers,
just surround themselves with stink.
Many stopped bathing altogether to avoid the plague, just hoping that their own stink would keep
the disease away. Just, you know, just stop bathing, drink pits, rub shit in your bones,
smell poo, and hopefully you won't get sick. Some doctors also advise thinking pleasant
thoughts to keep the plague away.
Just the old wish it away treatment.
Please, plague, please don't come. I don't want to die today. Please, plague, please don't come.
I don't want to die that way. Pakes, stay away.
A rub more poo in my wounds. Rub more poo in my wounds. Drink more piss if you stay away.
Unicorns, unicorns, puppy, cuddles.
What the fuck?
Ah! Getting massage by mermaids, eating something, puppy cuddles. Like, what the fuck? Ah!
Getting massage by Mermaid's eating something.
That's not poop, drinking wine, drinking not piss.
That's what I want.
Am I happy place?
Other doctors recommended doing it little as possible,
avoiding sudden movements to a salicy.
They had no fucking idea.
These guys are just recommending the craziest shit.
Pope Clement, the sixth, that guy's he's hanging out between the two fires.
He recommended limiting conversation with others
with the exception of those whose breath is sweet.
Just stay away from poop, poop breath.
Get out of here, how to toast this.
I'm not trying to get plague, you foul mouthed.
Sour tongue, son of a bitch.
Send Jeffrey back in whose breath smells like lavender.
Eating crushed emeralds was a way the wealthy would try to cure the plague. It is fucking whatever. Didn't help,
probably did tear up their colons quite a bit. Some people tried rubbing hot onions on their plague
boils. Some people thought you could actually dance the plague away.
Just dance and sing and be merry until the plague would leave you alone.
Right, like little rats like, come on if you had a rat,
so you take our fleesh to the next town.
They're too happy here.
Can't infect these peasants.
Look at the fun little jigs they're doing.
Don't want to mess that up.
Let's find some sad folk to infect down the road.
The craziest cure attempt I read about involve pigeons.
Some people thought if you got a hold of a pigeon, then flux, the feathers off its tail,
then held the pigeons raw ass to your playboy.
Playboy.
So you open up like the playboy, you cut open the boy, if I can rip out the pigeons,
feathers, get it like a bloody butt, and
then you stick the pigeon butt up against the, the, the bubo, the boil, and the theory
was that somehow the pigeons asked would suck the plague poison into the bird and kill
it and let you live.
And you just keep doing that with pigeon after pigeon until one of the pigeons didn't
die.
And that's how you knew, right?
No more poison in your body.
Oh my God, this treatment very bad at carrying plague,
very good at killing pigeons.
Starting in the 17th century, when the plague,
you know, would break out again,
plague doctors decided that in addition
to not having any good ideas about how to treat patients,
they would also dress up and look scary as shit.
They started to dress up in what's come to be known
as a plague doctor costume.
If you wanna, if you Google this,
you'll know exactly what I'm talking about.
It's a plague doctor is this look
is mostly associated with the evil, insane bird-looking mask.
Very steam punk look to it.
It has a very steam punk look to it.
Doctors started wearing these strange bird-like masks,
with these huge beaks that were built to limit their ability to smell
the dead and the dying, right?
They were so obsessed with smells.
These long beaks on the mask had a purpose.
You'd fill them with herbs.
So the aroma would keep you from smelling the plague.
And then the mask got even weirder quickly
when people kept getting sick, despite the mask,
they thought that maybe looking directly
at the plague victim could give you the plague.
So they started adding red crystal kind of eyepieces to prevent getting a solid look at plague victims.
That's like thinking you can't get AIDS if you wear sunglasses.
Just bro, forget about condoms, man.
It's probably just fucking Ray Bans, bro.
Probably these Ray Bans, you can rod dog it, whoever you want.
You won't get, you won't even get anyone pregnant.
If you don't want to get someone pregnant,
you wrote some hotline using your balls.
You put on a rubber, Ray Bans, wrote some hotline on your balls before you head out and you're all fucking good to go trust me bro I'm a doctor
Play doctors would also commonly carry a cane to examine and direct patients without the need to make contact
You know with the patient that where they have these long black robes have like blotlin black gloves
You know they cover all their exposed skin
They look like monsters. They look like post-apocalyptic, grim, grim reaper-esque, weird bird monsters.
As all of these insane cure attempts continued to fail and the disease has continued to kill
an unprecedented number of people in Europe. Fear grew, paranoia followed as it often does.
You know, people started looking for someone to blame
It was God angry at them. Is that why this was happening some point into the corruption in the church
Other said that God's anger came as a result of divisiveness within Christian Europe You know too many countries fighting each other and God's mad about it
The plague was seen as a great leveler the vehicle to restore peace between nations right God's wrath would purge Europe of its evil, warring ways.
Others came to believe that the plague was God's punishment for the Christians,
not continuing to pursue the crusades. God was angry at them for not destroying enough Muslims.
And then came along the most popular idea for why the plague was happening.
Why was the Black Death ravaging Christian Europe?
Well, because they'd allowed the Christ killing
Jewish people to live in their midst. Yep. The Jewish people, how many times have they
got fucked over in various European sucks, time and time and time again? Sucks to be the
religious minority in a land full of the religious majority when your religion is tightly linked
to killing the other religions profit. That dynamic has really not worked out for the
Jewish people over and over again. This idea quickly gained widespread acceptance and many that's a lot of people who are in the United States. And so, the United States is a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very 1449 until about 1390 the Jewish communities of France Germany and England almost disappeared
completely virtually totally wiped out in 1350 Frankfurt had over nineteen hundred nineteen
thousand excuse me Jewish people by fourteen hundred roughly ten were left.
Fuck man, Strasbourg in 1349 saw most of its Jewish population either burned to death
or forcibly converted
the following is excerpt from the strawsburg chronicle
which said on set uh... on saturday that was saint valentine's day they burnt the jews on a wooden platform in their cemetery
there were about two thousand of them
those who wanted to baptize them baptize themselves were spared
thus were the jews burnt a strawsbourg and in the same year in all the cities
of the Rhine. In some towns they burnt the Jews after a trial and others without a trial. In
some cities the Jews themselves set fire to their houses and cremated themselves. I don't know,
not sure about that last part. I highly doubt they started setting themselves on fire. It's
a beat to Christians to the punch. Maybe they're like, all right, fuck it, we'll just kill ourselves,
so you don't kill us in a worse way.
The 3000 strong Jewish population of Maine's initially defended themselves, managed to hold
off their Christian attackers. But the Christians managed to overwhelm the Jewish ghetto in the
end and killed most of the Jewish people there. My God, man, how terrible is that? You're
already worried about the plague, right? You're already just as susceptible to, as every
other human is, in Europe to get in these extremely uh... painful playboyz and dying quickly
you're already hoping this mysterious pestilence that you don't know anything
about either
doesn't strike you did it dinner leave you did by breakfast
and now you have a bunch of crazy assholes convinced that you are the reason
the disease is killing everyone and now angry mobs are forming and coming for
you and burning you alive
and you can't talk to them out of killing you because they think they're following
god's will
You cannot reason with the maniac that delusional religious zealots or some of the scariest people on earth to me
Right because there's no logic there once they think it's God's will you're fucking over they if they think that you know killing you Is part of God's plan
Man killing someone just because they worship a different God than you do right?
They haven't raped anybody haven't molested anybody haven't killed
It's just a different type of faith
and then you burn them alive.
What a terribly ignorant mentality.
And sadly, still around, sadly still around.
Like anyone who thinks that, you know,
we should just like, nuke North Korea, nuke Syria,
nuke Afghanistan, same mentality as those medieval dummies,
right?
Those people are different from me and I don't like it.
Kill them all.
Congratulations, you're a stupid piece of shit.
Take out the Taliban or take out some
horrific totalitarian regime. Yeah, all for it. Kill everyone. No.
The kind of person who thinks that you know, that's the answer is the kind of person who would have been the first in line to burn down these Jewish communities.
Christian despised Jews for the lack of conviction in Jesus Christ, the official church policy in Europe at the time was to protect Jews because Jesus was born into the Jewish
race, race, but in reality, they were continual targets of Christian loathing.
As the plague swept across Europe in the mid 14th century, annihilating nearly half the
population, the Jewish people became scapegoat number one.
Accudations spread that the Jews actively caused the disease by deliberately poisoning wells
and other propaganda
Part of the persecution came from Jewish communities not seeming to be hit as hard by the plague as other communities
And there may be truth to that that they weren't hit as hard
Because they they had different sanitary practices Jewish law compels one to wash his or her hands many times throughout the day
This was was not the norm for everyone in medieval Europe.
A Christian peasant might go half their life
without washing their hands.
According to Jewish law, one could not eat food
without washing one's hands, leaving the bathroom,
and after any sort of intimate human contact.
Also at least once a week, a Jewish person would bathe
for the Sabbath.
Christian peasants might go months or longer in between baths.
Furthermore, Jewish law prevents the Jewish people from reciting blessings and same prayers by an open
pitted latrines and it places with a foul order. The sanitary conditions and the Jewish neighborhood
primitive as they might be by today's standards were far superior to general sanitary conditions
of the day. So crazy man, being cleaner may have spared them from the plague and then being saved from the plague
aroused suspicion and raged other medieval people who then burned them to death.
Fuck, we meet Saks can be so incredibly dumb and speaking of dumb, let's check in with some dumb,
a lot of dumb on today's especially dumb idiots of the internet. It is an idiot to that.
There's a great YouTube video out there titled,
Why Did People Hate The Jews?
Posted by someone named Mr. Beat, a teacher,
almost 3 million views in less than a year, 32,000 likes,
17,000 dislikes, that 70,000 dislikes
is concerning,
as you'll understand here soon.
This YouTuber known as Mr. Beat,
a man who posts new history video every week on YouTube.
I like it.
Opens this video by showing clips of popular,
anti-Semitic videos online.
Then he asks a bunch of colleagues
who are fellow teachers.
He's a high school social studies teacher.
Who the most persecuted group of people in history is. Almost every colleague, colleagues, excuse me, says the Jewish people.
Even though they make up far less than one percent of the world's population,
they have been targeted more often than any other ethnic group when it comes to persecution
death. Mr. Beat then asks why he thinks the Jewish people are so often persecuted.
One colleague talks about how in times get tough, historically, people want to scapegoat.
And they tend to blame those they don't understand, and most Christians don't understand Judaism.
Then Mr. Beat defines who Jewish people are both ethnically and culturally.
He then covers a variety of medieval laws passed against the Jewish people.
Like they couldn't marry Christians. They couldn't hold certain jobs.
They couldn't post various positions, or couldn't hold various positions in government.
Couldn't be witnesses in court.
Propaganda was circulated.
They had horns and tails and they killed Christian babies and you know, would eat Christian
children and satanic sacrifices.
He talks about various attacks on Jewish people and about how Jewish people displaced in
Palestinians after World War II.
And on and on.
Just gives a general historical lesson
about who the Jewish people are,
what has happened to them,
why are the people have historically gotten
very angry towards them?
And he ends it with a warning that anti-Semitism still exists
and it's up to us to end it.
And anyone who doesn't think that anti-Semitism is alive
and well needs to read the comments below this video.
It's fucking so, he gives us great PSA about like,
hey, historically, this shit
for sure happened and it's terrible and we shouldn't do it anymore. And then you get
comments from anti-Semite, Kevin, after another's who post stuff like, so basically you just
repeated what the Jews claim and completely ignored what their opponents are saying.
Nice bias job. Hope you were paid well. You fucking idiot, Kevin. You cartoonish stereotype of a human
being. He spelled paid wrong by the way, like most fucking idiots do here in these comments.
If you look at the idiotic comments, compared to non-idiotic comments, the spelling fucking
way worse on the idiotic ones. It's P-A-I-D, not P-A-Y-E-D. If you really truly think
that some group of Jewish leaders
have bribed this high school social study teacher
to make a pro-Jewish people propaganda video,
throw yourself off the tallest building you can fucking find
before you fuck more idiots into this world.
Or at least have the humanity in decency to cut your dick off.
Science finds God posts, I think we hate anybody who teaches that they are
inherently more important than any other people. Rumble plus, then post, no wonder so many people
hate America. I thought I was going to clever if you take that attitude. And Jolie posts, well,
I'm sorry, but as a Jew, I never felt or said I was better than anyone based on my ethnicity.
What you're saying sounds like an excuse to hate juice. And then I posted, can help myself this time.
So do you, I posted two science finds, I posted at science finds God,
do you hate all religious people since basically every religion teaches its
followers that they are the only one to know the real truth or are you anti-Semitic?
Just wondering how even handed you are with your ignorance.
And then he replies to me, I don't hate people.
And then I replied to him, quote, I think we hate anybody.
And quote, you realize when we say quote, we, that includes you, right?
Nothing so far on that one. I think I sound to think like, ah, look, no, okay,
whatever, I'll go troll somewhere else. Jewish poster, Pokemon Red Sox has some fun with the hate writing.
So I was raised as a Jew and I always wondered, am I just not Jewish enough?
I hear all this conspiracy stuff about the Jews, but I'm personally not part of the conspiracy.
I'm extremely sad, and I hope I get my invite to one of their meetings soon.
Ah, I love the sarcasm.
Love it.
Uh, user's shodge replies, same here.
I think we're diluting the stats.
I'm not rich, nor do I have any connections at the top.
Please invite me when you're in, sincerely.
I broke you.
I love it.
Uh, fellow Jewish poster, uh, walkie-m-sonberg post.
Did you not get the invite?
Sorry about that.
Uh, we are weakening some currencies and shit next week if you want to tag along.
And then idiot one, Patel post, it's because you were not even conscious that you were
already pre-programmed and hardwired.
Shut the fuck up, Juan pre-programmed.
I know many poor Jewish people broke ass Jewish comedians, struggling Jewish actors.
There's no secret club.
There's no secret club.
They're not getting, they weren't getting any more additions than I was.
Uh, there's no secret club where they get all the money.
You dumb fuck.
Jag knows what's up posting.
This comment section just supports this notion, referring of course to the notion of anti-Semitism
still being alive and well.
And then Daniel G pretends to be a free thinker, but is really just another dumb shit racist,
writing, to learn who rules over you simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.
That quote comes up over and over and over whenever somebody on the web is like, hey man,
take it easy on the fucking juice.
Let's ease up when the Jewish people.
They have suffered quite enough over ignorance.
And then they act like, well, this fuck, okay, whoever we're told we can't attack, they're
the real problem.
This quotes often attributed to the French historian and philosopher Voltaire.
No, it was written by Kevin Alfred Strong, a piece of human fucking garbage, a white
nationalist new Nazi holocaust denier who spread a lot of propaganda.
Just a piece of shit who pled guilty to possessing kiddie porn in 2008.
It's his quote.
Calvin Winstead posts more racism,
saying,
Jews are like a girl with 109 failed relationships,
but somehow convinced herself that it's all their fault.
1100 likes, no dislikes.
User first name gets the logic fallacy,
understands it actually,
posting more like a guy who has had 109 failed relationships that all come from the same man hating sorority.
Exactly.
The Jews have been hated time and time again, not because they're making terrible, terrible
decisions time and time again.
They've just historically continually been surrounded over and over again by members of
another larger religion who conveniently make them into scapegoats all the
fucking time.
That's why.
Finally, user, there's zero limits post.
Someone burn this comment thread to the ground and then Mr. Beat himself, the poster of
the video post, I'm leaving it up for the FBI.
Love it, Mr. Beat.
Keep fighting the good fight, man.
Anti-Semitism alive well in the web.
Maybe some of the posters are young,
food is trolls, but not all of them.
I think Jewish hate is still incredibly common and strong.
One of the many reasons why history is so important.
Gotta remind ourselves what can happen
when hate gets out of hand,
learn how patterns repeat themselves,
help understanding that we shouldn't tolerate ignorance now,
man.
Ignorance is not just frustrating, it's dangerous.
Fuck ignorant people.
It's led to way too many innocent deaths
over and over again as a non-religious person.
I've talked quite often about how I love my Christian listeners,
been reminded of that by their messages over and over.
Wanna remind my Jewish listeners,
love you, meat sacks too.
It's fucking same meat sack team.
Sorry for all the fuckery you've had to deal with.
Can we start considering heaven and IQ tests you have to pass before you're allowed to have kids, please, can we at least
put that on the voting table, right? If you don't pass certain questionnaires, you get your
reproductive organs removed. I hope that someday we can weed out the idiots and someday never
have another idiots of the internet comment uh, comments section to even refer to.
Idiots.
Sorry for kind of babbling on there a little bit at the end. Uh, got to work. Up before we move on to discussing a few other plague outbreaks and how the black death
affected how we lived today. Let's look at a group of Europeans who did not blame the Jewish
people, but we're just as insane as those who did. Some people blamed themselves for the black death and
none more dramatically than the flagellants. These wacky details are something else. The
flagellants were religious zealots who demonstrated their religious fervor and sought atonement for
their sins, bi-vigorously whipping themselves and each other in public displays of penance.
And times of crisis really got these nuts to whip and they kicked the whip a jump big
time.
The plague motivated thousands of them to take the streets, start whipping the shit out
of themselves, whipping themselves into bloody messes in various town squares around Europe.
Members of the movement known in Germany as the brethren of the cross roamed central and
Eastern Europe during the black death.
The self punishment on a personal level was supposed to bring one closer to Christ's experience
of the hands of the Romans.
And on a community level, self-flagelation was believed to force others to take a hard look
at themselves, look at their own sins.
Pope Clement VI quickly condemned them as being heretical, but that didn't stop them from
whipping their way across Europe.
The following description of the flagements comes to us from Sir Robert of Avesbury who witnessed their ritual in England. In that same year of 1349,
about Michael Mass, September 29th, over 600 men came to London from Flanders, mostly of Zeeland
and Holland origin. Sometimes at St. Paul's and sometimes at other points in the city, they made
two daily public appearances, wearing cloths from the thighs to the ankles,
but otherwise stripped bare. Each wore a cap, marked with a red cross in front and behind.
Each had in his right hand a scourge with three tails, so just a whip with fucking three
little tails. Each tail had to not and through the middle of it was sometimes sharp nails. They
marched naked in a file one behind the, and whipped themselves with these scourges on their naked and bleeding bodies.
Four of them would chant in their native tongue, and another four would chant in response
like a litany.
Thrice, they would all cast themselves upon the ground in this sorts of procession, stretching
out their hands like the arms of a cross.
The singing would go on, and the one who was in the rear of us prostrate acting first,
each of them in turn would step over the others and give one stroke with his scourge to the
man-line beneath him. This went on from the first to the last until each of them had observed
the ritual to the full tale of those on the ground, then each put on his customary garments
and always wearing their caps and carrying their whips in their hands that retired to their lodgings.
It is said that every night they performed the same penance.
Man, crazy.
Singing some songs, whipping the shit out of each other,
play, skill, and people left and right,
doctors are making it worse
for telling you to drink piss or rub and shit wounds.
And now you got these maniacs hanging out around the town
square, just whipping themselves into a bloody mess.
Dark days, man, strange times. must have felt like the end was near.
When anyone tells you the world has gone to hell and things are worse now than ever,
they do not know what the fuck they are talking about.
They are not students of history clearly.
Think of the plague.
None of us alive now have ever seen anything remotely dishorrible.
Remember that time when half of everyone around you, at least half, were either recently
dead or currently dying?
Remember when the stench of rotting flesh permeated the air, you never got away from it, and
then a bunch of dudes were burning down the Jewish part of town, and then there was a bunch
of other dudes whippin' that ever living shit out of each other while singing fuckin'
whippin' each other songs?
That sound familiar?
No?
Then your life's probably a hell of a lot better
than the lives of these sad assholes.
Before researching the Black Deaths this week,
I thought it was the first and only widespread outbreak
of bubonic plague.
Nope, Europe had experienced it at least once before.
Third of the population of Athens
died in 430 BCE in the plague of Athens.
This most likely was not bubonic plague,
based on an important symptoms, but could have been the plague of Gollan most likely was not bubonic plague, based on reported symptoms,
but could have been the plague of Gollan
killed up to five million people,
mostly in the Roman Empire from 165 to 180.
Most scholars think this pandemic was smallpox.
The plague of Syrian affected the Roman Empire
from 249 to 262 CE.
The higher the outbreak,
5,000 people a day were said to be dying in Rome.
This may have been out in the bubonic plague eater.
Some historians think it was smallpox or measles, others, some other virus.
On the sixth century, based on bone samples from those who died and the descriptions of those
who suffered, and the crosses of the hands being a symptom, we know that Europe did get hit
by the bubonic plague.
It was the Justinian plague.
The first major plague outbreak to hit Europe
as far as, you know, this bacteria occurred during the reign
of Roman Emperor Justinian, the first who ruled from 527 to 565 CE.
Consider the first pandemic of any kind in recorded history
because it swept across three continents.
The plague arrived in Constantinople in 542 CE,
almost a year after the disease, first-minute disappearance in the outer provinces of the Roman
Empire, continued to sweep throughout the Mediterranean world for another 225 years.
Finally, this appearing in 750 CE only to reappear in the 14th century as the Black Death.
When this plague hit Constantinople, it killed 5,000 people a day at its height,
killed over 300,000 people there in the first year.
So that city had been hit real hard a couple of times.
It became more and more difficult for families to bury their dead, tombs filled up quickly,
trenches were drug, dug, bodies were given mass burials.
Some of the bodies loaded into death boats, taken out to sea, dumped overboard, only to
wash back onto shore later.
My God, other bodies were dumped into fortified towers and then filled up and then they were
closed when the when the bodies reached the top. Just big like like big grain silos, but filled
with the rotting bodies of the dead. Things got so bad that citizens began to carry name tags
on them wherever they went. So their families would know what happened to them if they suddenly
died of the plague. The plague hit Justinian's empire, killed off more than just people who
destroyed the economy. Farmers were wiped out, leaving the farmlands to fall into weeds.
Bakers died off, breads became scarce.
Sellers at the market place either died from the plague or became too scared to go outdoors
where they might catch the plague.
And so basically trade came to a complete standstill.
And now many people not die under the plague or starving to death because they're not getting
food from the people they dep depend on to feed them.
You know, with an epidemic of this nature,
there are so many indirect deaths.
Just in and his plague affected nearly half
the population of Europe.
After the black deaths, plague outbreaks would occur
every decade or a few decades,
and this city or that for centuries,
nothing again on a continental scale,
but there was a huge outbreak that hit London in 1665.
London had an especially hot summer in 1665. London had an especially
hot summer in 1665. It said to become grossly overcrowded. It's population exploded. Many
were living in a squalor or poverty between 450,000, 600,000 people lived in London. And the
plague would kill 100,000 of those people in just 18 months, excuse me. The next biggest
English city at the time was Norwich with around 30,000 people.
So, I mean, the disparity there, 30,000 compared to about 600,000.
I mean, obviously, England was not ready to have a city the size of London in the mid-17th
century.
They didn't have to manage that many people.
They didn't have a proper urban sanitation department.
The only way people had to get rid of rubbish then was to throw it out into the streets.
This included normal household waste as well, including their shit and piss. London was fucking
filthy when the play hit, extremely overcrowded, perfect breeding route for those rats. And
you know, I was thinking this, you know that when people are just flinging piss and shit
out of their windows into the street, I mean, that's what they would do. You know,
some teenage miscreants had to at least try to dump it
on some people walking by.
I would have done that, you know, just,
daddy, don't kill, throw in that piece of shit
on the business people walking by.
They're all talking on the street like a good lad.
Yes, mom, come on, Mr. Derby.
They always walk around this time
with your smug grin and your fancy posh niggas.
Let's see how you like your niggas today covered in my shit.
I pushed out a special one for you today I did, ate little extra beans last night, little
extra porridge this morning, held it as long as I could, Mr. Derby.
Frankless waters who would be thicker.
Well knock your derby hatch right off your head, Was my brown cannonball this morning. I will miss the
Davi. Where's the Davi? Here you go. Catch Mr. Davi. Good luck
getting that swill out of your hair. You bloody wanker. The most
crowded neighborhoods. We're of course the poorest. That's
what the plague struck first. Ain't that a bitch? You're already
poor living in the squalor. An elite little disease tears to
your city. Your through greatest risk to die. once the disease took hold it spread with frightening frightening speed
The wealthy left London or the comparative safety of the countryside the poor not allowed to leave London
You know economically many had to stay in the slums and then when the plague really got going soldiers actually forced them to stay in their neighborhoods
Militia men were paid by the city's council to guard parish boundaries, not let anyone out.
Once the plague hit these slums, authorities took drastic measures to ensure that the
plague didn't spread.
They still didn't understand how the disease was spread, but they did know when one sick person
showed up, other sick people followed.
So now when one family member had a member infected by the plague, they started being locked
in their home for 40 days a night, still quarantined.
If you didn't have enough food in there, couldn't pay for food in there.
Tough shit.
You're now you're going to starve to death.
Man, lenders were also paid to kill dogs and cats.
They was assumed that they were spreading the disease.
The approaching winter halted the spread of the disease as the weather took its toll
on rats and fleas.
However, though the worst of the plague had passed by the end of 1665, then the great fire
of London hit the city's second tragedy in two years.
The fire devastated the filthy city areas where rats had prospered.
The fire consumed over 13,000 houses, over 87 churches, St. Paul's Cathedral, most of
the buildings of the city authorities, it's estimated to have officially destroyed the homes of 70,000 of the cities,
80,000 homes.
Or, wait, sorry, that number just didn't seem right, compared to the numbers, but it destroyed
an overwhelming majority of the city.
Officially only six people died in this fire, but that's because only the deaths of the
poor were never recorded, or excuse me, only the deaths of the rich were recorded.
More realistically, several thousand people burnt.
First the plague killed a couple family members, then a fire burned down in your whole neighborhood.
But you really wanted to throw some shit in somebody after that.
Mr. Davi, take this!
They rebuilt London and now it was more spacious and open afterwards.
And so it would never be hit by a pandemic the same way again.
So, you know, for the people who lived, you got a little better. 1855, a new plague pandemic hit Indian China. Over 12 million would die.
The outbreak there, the outbreak there wasn't finally over until 1960. It took until 1960
for the yearly death toll to fall below 200 a year. Since then, a few people have died
every year, including right here in the US, due to the plague, luckily, occurrences are
rare in antibiotics, greatly reduced the mortality rate.
Some new plague mutation that doesn't give a shit about antibiotics comes through again,
or we're to come through again, get out of the cities.
Don't come to Idaho though.
Defeat the purpose if you make it crowded here too.
Did anything good come out of the plague?
Yes, actually.
There was more work to go around for survivors of the plague and subsequently thanks to
natural supply and demand economics peasants who survived
the black death made a bit more money on the other side, lived in less cramped conditions.
The culture of the English pub can be traced back directly to the black death, according
to one historian, Professor Robert Tooms from Cambridge University says that wages rose,
prices fell following the plague, allowing worker people easier access to beer, pub spring up to accommodate the demand sparking English pub culture.
Brewers can now operate full time thanks to greed, greater freedom and prosperity for the
working class in the wake of the Black Death.
It also may have prevented the Vikings from settling North America.
The history of North America may have looked a lot different.
If the Black Death never happened, Viking settlers in Greenland,
all but completely died out due to the plague.
So they were never able to get a foothold
on mainland North America and properly settled a place.
Norway was infeal by the plague as well,
so it couldn't get supplies to the settlements in Greenland.
Things out so bad that Greenland had to be rediscovered
in 1585 for the Jewish people did not help at all. Antisemitic
violence brought on by the plague never completely left Europe after the Black Death.
Germans in particular killed Jewish communities and riots, following the Black Death, nurturing
a culture of anti-Semitism that ultimately led to the Holocaust in the 20th century. A study
in 2011 showed that villages where Black Death era pogroms took place were more likely to demonstrate a violent hatred of Jewish people more than 600 years later
So there it is the black death the plague doesn't sound fun doesn't get much more much worse than that
For me again, man, this is episode just a reminder of how good we have it now comparatively how lucky we are to live in modern times
Just like none of us asked to be born now and none of those peasants asked to be born then.
Man, be glad you have the opportunities now that you do.
No matter how rough things are for you
and all likely much rougher if you lived in 14th century Europe,
even when there wasn't a playground break.
So let's take a look,
let's take a look four more times back.
Is that even sense?
Can you say it?
Let's take a look.
Let's look back four more times. That's how you speak. Can you say it? Let's take a look. Let's look back four more times.
That's how you speak.
That's how you're supposed to speak in English.
And then let's look at one new thing,
a very interesting thing, I think.
In today's top five takeaways.
Time, suck, top five takeaway.
Number one, the black death, the worst outbreak
of the plague, bacteria, and recorded history began the worst outbreak of the plague bacteria and recorded history
began in the spring of 1346 CE, near the Caspian Sea by 1348 ravaging all of Europe.
By 1352 it was basically done and it killed anywhere from 25 to 75 million European
meat sex.
Number two, the plague comes from the little ol' your sinneapestus bacteria and that
bacteria loves fleece and rats and people.
And then it attacks your lymph nodes, immune system outposts.
It destroys them like a seaging army destroying the walls of a city.
It replicates your lymph nodes swell as they are attacked.
The bacteria continues to replicate and makes it to your lungs and other organs.
The presence of so many bacteria in your bloodstream causes your immune system to freak
the fuck out triggering septic shock.
Your body's blood vessels began leaking, decreasing blood volume.
This leads to abnormal clodding, multiple organ failure, and you die quickly and painfully
from the plague.
Number 3.
Speaking of a Sieging Army, the plague dramatically entered Europe via a trebuchet.
Plague infected corpses catapulted over the city walls of Kaffa, like something out
of a Monty Python sketch.
I was at for an entrance.
Fire the Greg load the Chuck aim the Chuck fire the Chuck.
Number four, the plague didn't just hit Europe in the 14th century scene, also devastated
Africa and Asia, knocked populations back so deeply take two centuries for the world to
fully recover.
Number five, new info.
The ring around the rosy nursery rhyme, a song you probably know very well, probably
saying it as a kid, I did, comes from the plague according to many, the classic rhyme,
ring around the rosy, may originate from the plague, full disclosure, the jury is still
out on this one.
From what I can tell, it seems like about half of historians and folklorists think that
this rhyme has nothing to do with the plague and they have a ton of other possibilities,
two boring and varied to mention here. And frankly, that of them sounded that real to me
or likely. The other half do seem to agree that the rhyme does originate with the plague.
The most popular version of the rhyme, at least in modern day America, you know, it goes
like this. Ring around the rosy pocket full of poses, ashes, ashes.
We all fall down.
I remember singing that song on my grandma's beddy when I was little,
at playing in the art, like three or four little and then dropped my butt on the,
on the, on the, in the ground and just giggling my little ass off.
Turns out it's not a real funny diddy.
Ring around a rosy may refer to swollen lymph nodes with the red, rosy rash around them,
one of the symptoms as you know of the plague.
Pocketful of posies may refer to the posies of herbs, little small bundles of herbs and
flowers that were carried around by those still not ill to ward off the smell.
Bodies in the homes of the dead were burned to try and rid the streets of the infection, hence the line ashes ashes or in the British version of the Rhine, the old British version, that
line would read a chew, a chew, which could refer to the sneeze and coffee and it was
one of the final symptoms of the mnemonic form of the disease, you know, the worst version
of how it spread.
The apocalyptic nature of the plague is felt in the final line.
We all fall down, representing people just literally dropping dead from the plague.
Time, suck, tough, five takeaways.
The black death has been sucked.
Bubonic plague has been sucked.
Fubonic plague has been sucked.
Appreciate the time, man, I live in so much more right now.
So glad my doctor doesn't wear a scary ass,
double bird mask.
So glad he doesn't want to rub shit in my wounds or have me drink piss or have me stick a
fucking pigeon up to my arm.
Some glad I'm not watching half or more of everyone I've ever known died a matter of
weeks.
Happy to not watch maniacs whip themselves in the town square.
Act well actually, wait.
I'm gonna stop there.
The last thing would be some A plus top shelf people watching.
When I really think about it, I would not mind watching maniacs whipped themselves and
sing songs and step over each other in a town square.
That actually would be, I could just like to grab a coffee, sit in a bench and just enjoy
the show.
Thank you to the time suck team.
Thank you to you listeners for listening to another episode.
Thanks time suckers and space visitors.
Thanks also to Queen of the Suck Lindsey Cummins, high priest to the suck harmony velocamp, Jesse Gardy, and of grammar dope, and a reverend Dr. Joe Paisley, time suckers and space letters. Thanks also to Queen of the Suck Lindsey Cummins. High priest is the suck Harmony Velocamp, Jesse Guardian of Grammar Dobe, and a Reverend Dr.
Joe Paisley. Time suck high priest Alex Dugan, the guys of Bitelixer, Danger Brain, Axis
Apparel, Heather Knowledge Ninja Rylander. Thanks for the fine research to get me started
today. Have you joined the cult of the curious private Facebook group yet? Almost 7,000
time suckers and space letters in the private cult to Curious Group on Facebook.
Almost 1,500 Discord members now
linked to the Discord chatroom messaging app
right in the app, the time suck app,
linked to the private Facebook group
and to the Discord channel in today's episode description.
Next week, we're gonna be sucking the black panthers.
The black panthers, aka the black panther political party,
a political organization founded
1966 by Huey Newton and Bobby Seale.
Always been so curious about this group.
Originally named the Black Panther Party for self-defense.
It was formed to challenge police brutality against the African American community.
They would dress in black berets, black leather jackets, look cool, it's shit.
The Black Panthers organized armed citizens, patrols in Oakland and other US cities.
At his peak in 1968, the Black Panther Party had roughly 2,000 members.
And then the organization began to decline as a result of internal disputes and tensions,
deadly shootouts with authorities, FBI counterintelligence activities,
aimed at weakening the organization, and frankly, the criminal activity of some of its members.
The Black Panthers were founded in the wake of the Malcolm X assassination.
I got to talk about him and that suck as well.
The black panthers started out, certainly did start, excuse me, a number of popular social
community programs, including free breakfast programs for school children and free health
clinics in 13 African-American communities across the US.
The black panthers were involved in numerous violent encounters with police 1967, founder Huey Newton allegedly killed Oakland police officer
John Frey convicted of voluntary manslaughter in 68, sent to two to 15 years in prison,
and then an appellate court later reversed the conviction.
They were definitely also targeted by authorities.
1968 Chicago police gunned down and killed black killed Black Panther party members Fred Hampton and
Mark Clark, who were sleeping in their apartment.
About a hundred bullets were fired.
And what police would describe as a fierce gun battle.
However, ballistic experts later determined only one of those bullets came from the panther's
site.
Although the FBI was now responsible for leading that raid, federal grand jury later
and died of the bureau for planning a significant role in eventually up to the raid.
The new Black Panther party is a black's organization founded in Dallas, Texas.
Members of the original Black Panther Party say there's no relation between the new and
the original Black Panthers and the Southern Poverty Law Center have called the new Black Panther
Party a hate group.
So it's going to be interesting to suck to see other group as evolved, talk about some
of their most notorious or infamous or inspirational members.
And again, I've heard of this group for a long time, no so little about them.
Black Panthers, next week, Time Sucker Updates, right now.
Updates, get your time, sucker, updates.
Starting off with the message that made me laugh so hard from Samuel Faznot.
Samuel writes,
Dear Suck Lord, I just wanted to say FUUUCK YOU!
I was listening to the Cleopatra Suck and fell for your insane tale of how Encore came from two camels fucking good girl.
The worst part is, is that I'm a truck driver, I left my truck before you said it was all fake.
So I went, so I went into my pickup building and started telling everyone The worst part is, is that I'm a truck driver. I left my truck before you said it was all fake.
So I went, so I went into my pickup building
and started telling everyone I saw about where
encore came from.
Now I have to go in tomorrow and rectify the situation
and hope they don't mock me for it.
Anyway, keep up the good work.
Once again, fuck you, your humble meat sack.
Samuel Files not.
Thank you, Samuel for sharing that.
Thanks for the pronunciation guide.
Your last name as well.
Oh my God, dude.
I love that.
You just went in there and we're just like,
guys, listen up.
I gotta talk about on court.
Do you know it started from an orgy?
It's a group of patches watching these camels,
fuck this lady.
My grandma can't think of any light,
and he's like, more, more of that.
I'm sure when you left, they were like,
what the fuck was Sam talking about?
There's no way that's what that means.
Even funnier if you never see some of them again
and some of them do believe you
and they just share that with others.
Thanks for being a good sport and drive safe, Samuel.
Mothman update coming in from Ginger Johnson.
Ginger writes, oh my God, Mothman.
I have a long story to tell you about my experience
with this creature, but I won't go into it now.
I just want to inform you that I have a letter from Mothman.
Alas, I can't find it.
I have about a dozen boxes of books and it's in one of them, but we'll take some time to find it.
Seriously, my uncle introduced me to the Mothman Prophecy's book, then terrorized me about him when I was 13.
The letter is cut out letters from magazines that says Mothman is watching you.
It came in the mail with no return address.
I will find it eventually, but for now,
I just wanted to let you know,
if there are any time suckers who live in New Hampshire
and want to help me come to go through my books,
they're welcome to help me, Ginger.
Your uncle sounds amazing, Ginger.
That's dedication to fucking with your niece
that he sent you some anonymous Mothman letter.
If you want some help finding that letter,
hop into the code to Curious Group on Facebook,
ask around.
I'm sure there's some other New England time suckers nearby.
I can help you out.
Plague update already coming in, even though we just done the episode from Zach Dullin.
Zach has a personal plague store in Rodeon when he found out about this episode's topic.
He goes, the time I almost got plague in Idaho.
During the summer of 2016, I served as a biology aid
for the Idaho Ho Department of Fish and Game
in the Treasure Valley of Idaho near Boise.
This summer resulted in a massive die-off
in the rodent populations in the desert
in Valley land south of Boise, Hawaii County.
We determined that it was an outbreak of plague
in ground squirrels, voles, whistle pigs, et cetera.
We had to quell the general population fear that comes with saying that there is plague
near the largest urban center in the state.
Every day, we had dozens of calls reporting fields of dead rodents
and had people burning us bags with dead rodents or burning,
had people bringing us bags of dead rodents to our lap.
Protocol dictated that the splines be removed from the dead animals and shipped to the university
was constant to process and determine its specimen.
It wasn't fact in fact they're not.
So for a good two months, my days were spent telling people
to avoid dead rodents and to keep dogs, cats, and children away
as well as dissecting little varmin to get their splines.
Oh my God.
One afternoon, we were going about our normal business.
When our team vet was dissecting a bowl,
little mouse-like creature creature out of nowhere.
All we hear is screaming from the lab and him running out yelling, where's the bug spray
over and over again?
We thought there was a wasper spider, rowing oak, recluse, opening some eyelids, the snuck
up on him and scared him.
Nope, turned out the bowl he was operating on was covered in fleece.
Huh, it looked like it's fur was moving.
He was so ridden.
And with the host dead, the fleas were spreading around the lab looking for a new host,
IE Us.
So now we have a lab fill with potentially plague, ridden fleas as we all scramble, spraying
the facility down, trying to kill other little buggers and rubbing alcohol bleach in a single
bottle of wasp spray.
You could have had the Benny Hill theme song playing and the scene would have been perfect. Bapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap We've had the fleas, they had the fleas to keep us from having to risk exposure, so we have no idea if he was positive or not.
That is nuts.
Plague almost broke out in Idaho.
So, sure we have antibiotics, but that doesn't help you.
If you're almost dead by the time you give the doctors, and whistle pig, what the hell is a whistle pig?
There's a whiskey called whistle pig.
I can't find an animal called whistle pig.
Is it just a pig?
Whistles out in the woods?
Please let it be that.
I'm a whistle pig. Make a whistle noise.
Now do a little whistle jig.
Little whistle pig jig or a little whistle pig.
I don't know, maybe.
A Hill Nimrod fellow Idahoan, that Benny Hill music.
I don't know if you know this.
I can play that on the Air Banjo.
I just took an A-hole Air Banjo academy.
Just now, uh, I actually, you don't even know.
It looks like I kept talking. I paused, went out forhole AirBangio Academy just now I actually you don't even know it looks like I kept talking
I paused went out for an AirBangio lesson and now I can do the many hild
But they pretend playing playing on the pretend playing don't think pretend
But they pretend playing on the pretend playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing playing
But they pretend to think on the pretend to think but they pretend to think about the pretend to think Plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, plank, you that earlier in January, part of your story, in bonus episode 10,
inspired the heart of my sermon that week.
My title was perplexity, inquiry, and clarity.
And I spoke about the role of curiosity in the life of faith.
I thought you get a kick, I had a knowing
that you played a part in the pulpit.
You'll figure, huh?
Hope to see you next time you're in T-Town, Mike.
I love it, Mike, I love it.
If you're got us a one true God,
I hope this buys me a little bit of divine forgiveness. But seriously though, I think it, Mike, I love it. If you're got us the one true God, I hope this buys me a little bit of divine forgiveness.
But seriously though, I think it's very cool of you.
So now be afraid to take theological inspiration
from non-theological sources.
You sound like a fantastic meat sack and pastor.
See you into coma, pastor, Mike.
And now a heavy final message coming in
from wonderful Canadian meat sack, Adam Celter.
Yeah, Adam wrote, suck master.
I'm writing this letter because I think a person deserves to know if they've made an impact on the world around them. wonderful Canadian meat sack, Adam Celter. Yeah, Adam wrote, suck master.
I'm writing this letter because I think a person deserves
to know if they've made an impact on the world around them.
Timeline after timeline has taught us both
that the reality is our world can sometimes
be a terrible, scary, unfair place.
Without warning, you can quickly find yourself
treading in some very deep water.
I've learned that in those big moments,
it can be the small things that you cling to to keep going. Since sharp turns like this can happen in anyone's life at any time,
I think of someone, I think if something you've done has made someone's else's life a
little less dark and a little less scary, you deserve to know. If I don't tell you, you'll
never know. So strap on your boot soldier, we're marching down a quick and dirty time suck
timeline. Doesn't really matter who I am,
and it doesn't matter where I live.
I'm just a regular guy with a regular life.
I've been bumping around for 37 years,
and in that time, I've managed to get some education,
meet a girl, get married, buy a house,
and be a normal human being.
There's nothing special about me.
What does matter is that I have a son named Jacob.
Jacob is born May 28th, 2018 at 8.35 pm.
He's a happy little guy with great
big cheeks and fat little hands. He loves balloons, hates it when people sneeze and doesn't
give a shit about the rules. He does whatever you like, whenever he wants. He's perfect.
When Jacob was only five months old, some random doctor that I had never seen before walked
up to me and threw a hammer through my simple little life. I have a career, hobby,
goals, friends, all the same things everyone you know has, and it all fell away in an instant
when I was left with one singular immutable fact. My five-month-old son has cancer. There
is no accurate way to describe what happens in your life. And in your mind, when a thing
like that makes its entrance, when your kid is sick, like really sick, everything else stops.
You sit back and watch this horrible thing,
steamroll, you're nice little organized life and you can do nothing to stop it. Doctors,
you've never met, walked in and take over everything and all you can do is sit and hope
that they really are as skilled in this practice as they say they are and that they really
can't do what they say they can do, what you need them to do. All you want to do is take
this horrible thing and rip it out of your child's life, but that is the one thing you can't do
As my independent research is confirmed no amount of bargaining or panic pleading will change the shit state of affairs
You are now just along for the ride you exit your life in abandon whatever bullshit priorities
You thought you had and spend every day sitting next to your child
Watching them fight an awful thing that scares you both you can't do it for them
But you can't do it, but you can do it with them.
So we do.
Me and my wife and Jacob, we fight like anyone would.
There are good days and there are bad days.
Some days, he's just a happy little boy
who likes to roll on the living room floor
and drool on things to claim his ownership.
And some days, the treatment and the drugs
take their toll on him and he really struggles.
When he has difficulty sleeping,
I do what thousands of fathers have done before me. I take Jacob for a drive quite often
in the little quiet town we live at on the only idiot circling the streets driving to my
pajamas, surfing coffee and doing laps around town. We'll drive for hours with no destination
so that Jacob can finally sleep because sleeping while driving is prohibited in my area.
I do with any rational, curious info, hungry person with due in my situation. I listen to time suck. Jake and I started an episode one and
slowly are climbing our way to the top where time suckers is what we do together. I have
no idea how many times I've listened to the dog holiday suck. It's flawless. Your dog
holiday impression is a triumph. Jake gets to sleep, which helps him stay in the fight
and time suck pulls me out of my life just long enough for my brain to reset. For just an hour at a time, there is no cancer, there is no hospital,
there is no drugs or needles or blood counts or viruses or specialists or any of it.
There's just me and my son out for a drive.
Man, I can't finish your, I can't finish your message, man.
Your show, what you do is help me in the hardest time of my life, every time I listen.
Yeah, things get a little easier for a little while
for whatever that is worth to you.
Thank you very much, Hale Nimrod.
Adam Celter from somewhere in Canada.
Man Adam, I know I let that a chunk there, but Jesus.
How to get, how to get crowned,
I first read that message.
We're so glad we can help with some small way.
Man, you sound like an amazing father.
Hope, hope Nimrod wills your son to good health.
But you're wrong about being special.
You are special, you chose to send this message.
That's pretty special.
And if you didn't, I wouldn't be donating $1,600
in honor of you and your son on behalf
of the Spaces or Patrons of the Show
to the Cancer Research Institute.
Love you, man.
The Cancer Research Institute is a 501C
non-profit organization dedicated to harnessing the human
body's immune system's power to control and potentially cure all types of cancer.
They fund the most innovative clinical and laboratory research around the world, support
the next generation of the field leaders, and serve as a trusted source of information
on immunotherapy for cancer patients and their caregivers.
They've been working on cancer research since 1953.
$100 million raised.
Don't any of that. I feel like a dickhead for not finishing it. They've been working on cancer research since 1953. $100 million is raised.
Don't any of that. I feel like a dickhead for not finishing it.
Man, that's not fair to people listening.
So the part I just skipped,
may seem like a trivial thing,
but when you're situation like mine,
I sincerely hope you never are.
You learn quickly that there are no trivial things.
Everything has weight.
You learn that if the thing is noticeable to you,
there is a reason.
The reason I listen to your show is that it recharges my mind so I can help
my son. It makes me feel just normal enough, just long enough that I can survive in a totally
abnormal scenario that I was otherwise unprepared for. The reason I bother to write you and tell
you any of this is that I want you to know you're having an impact in places you've never
been and in the lives of people you've never met. You're making my life just a little less
dark and a little less scary. That makes all the difference in the world to me.
Someone I trust once told me to take every opportunity
to tell the important people in my life
that they are important and why,
leave nothing unsaid, he told me.
So I have no idea if I'll ever read this
and I have no idea what effect
if any will ever have in your life,
but it will not leave it, I will not leave it unsaid.
Your show, what you do, is helping me
in the hardest time of my life.
Every time I listen, things seem a little easier
for a little while.
Yeah, man.
Well, you're helping me, man.
So I'm taking a patient from your book
and didn't want to leave.
My reply unsaid to you, man.
So keep fighting and that is all for today.
I'm gonna be back.
I'm gonna be back.
Thanks, time suckers. I need a net. We all did
Have a great week everybody another secret suck on Thursday for the space. There's black panthers on Monday
If you get swollen lymph nodes and you're hanging around a lot of rats and fleas
Please go see a doctor
Rubbin shit on those boils will not help. Keep on suckin'.