Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 136 - The Moon Landing Conspiracy

Episode Date: April 22, 2019

2019 is the 50th anniversary of the moon landing! Yip, yip, yaw! On July 20th, 1969, Commander Neil Armstrong and lunar module pilot Buzz Aldrin, two American astronauts, landed the Apollo Lunar Module Eagle on the moon. The Eagle has landed! And then, some six hours later, Neil became the first human to take one giant leap for mankind. And then Buzz followed Neil onto the moon's surface less than twenty minutes later. OR... did none of that ever happen? Did the several Apollo missions that followed NOT put ten other astronauts on the moon? This is what many people believe - that no one ever stepped foot on the moon. Today we examine a variety of moon landing conspiracies and also learn a lot about why landing on the moon was a cultural priority in the first place. And we go over so much more on this lunar-centric edition of Timesuck! THE GATHERING 2019 - Tickets go on sale HERE April 29th, Noon PST Only 55 tickets total! Happy Murder Tour Standup dates: April 26th Dallas, Texas The Texas Theatre CLICK HERE for tix! April 27th Houston, Texas The Secret Group CLICK HERE for tix! Second show added! May 1-4 San Francisco, CA Punchline Comedy Club CLICK HERE for tix! May 9-11 Boston, MA Laugh Boston Comedy Club CLICK HERE for tix! May 19th Spokane, WA Spokane Comedy Club LIVE ANT HILL KIDS TIMESUCK Click HERE for tix! Listen to the best of my standup on Spotify! (for free!) https://spoti.fi/2Dyy41d Timesuck is brought to you by Quip! Go to GETQUIP.com/TIMESUCK right now to get your first refill pack for FREE with a Quip electric toothbrush. Watch the Suck on Youtube: https://youtu.be/m58xCnWdd_w Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG, @timesuckpodcast on Twitter, and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast Wanna be a Space Lizard? We're over 4500 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.

2019, the perfect year to talk about the moon landing. It's the 50th anniversary of the first moon landing if we landed there at all. Dun, dun, dun, dun. A lot of skeptics think that we did not, that we still have not. And I like skeptics. Skepticism is good. To a point. As the cliche goes, it's great to have an open mind as long as it's not so open that your brain falls out. For this episode of the Suck, we're going to look at a lot of anti-moon landing skepticism, and then you can decide if moon landing denial is reasonable skepticism,

or if wackadoodle brains have indeed fallen out of wackadoodle skulls. I get why people question the moon landing. I really do. I think the disbelief is less about the moon, and more about not trusting the government in general. And the government has for sure lied to us from time to time. And the circumstances surrounding the moon and more about not trusting the government in general. And the government has for sure lied to us from time to time. And the circumstances surrounding the moon landing further fuel a fake landing scenario. The United States was in the middle of the Cold War space race with the USSR and had

everything to gain from getting to the moon first. Getting there first meant winning an important national morale race that had been ongoing for over a decade. The United States had incentive to fake a moon landing. A lot of it. We were extremely concerned with the Soviet Union in the 1950s and the 1960s. The Cold War and the big red scare, very much a part of US national culture at that time. The Russians making to the moon first,

but a stabbed US national pride right in the middle of its red, white, and blue heart. If democracy really was superior to communism, if the US really was superior to the Soviet Union, then why did they make it to the moon? We couldn't. Are they better than us? Might sound a little silly now,

but the cultural stakes were high. And is it really past the limits of decency for some politicians to come up with some fake space fuckery? How about Richard Nixon and his crew? Nixon was president when the landing went down and he turned out to be a proven liar in a way that was exceptional even for politicians.

That it was the only US president to ever resign and he resigned because he was about to get kicked to fuck out of the Oval Office for the whole Watergate scandal, which involved a lot of big lies. Then also fueling moon landing conspiracies is the fact that we haven't sent another astronaut to the moons that's 1972. That was a long time ago.

Technology has come a long way since 1972. VHS tapes didn't even come out until 1976. Now a base model cell phone can take and play record better video than the most advanced technology in 1976. The first mobile phone call happened in 1973. Now almost every 12 year old in America has a cell phone that doubles as a computer and that computer is way more powerful than any computer that existed in 1972. So why hasn't space technology evolved in the same way?

If we really did land men on the moon between 1969 and 1972, why don't we have bases on the moon? Now why don't we have colonies and malls and Starbucks and rush hour traffic on the moon. No, why don't we have colonies and malls and Starbucks and rush hour traffic on the moon? Not going back and so long is another reason that a faked moon landing is one of the most popular conspiracies around today. A 1999 Gallup poll found that 6% of Americans believe the moon landing was fake, right? Or faked. That's millions of people who don't believe we actually landed on the moon. Millions of people in just this country, the percentage is much higher in certain countries like Russia.

Over 16 million people in the US, if that percentage still holds today, that's more people than the population in New York City. More than 33 of 44 European countries, that's a lot of potential whack-a-doodle. We'll see if we can change that percentage a bit as we take a hard look at how NASA claims it made it to the moon today. We'll examine the space race between the Soviet Union and America that resulted in the controversial moon landing, and we'll look at a variety of theories. Some of them are so good regarding how and why the landing was faked today on another another conspiratorial edition of TimeSuck. You're listening to TimeSuck.

Happy Monday, you TimeSuck and Meet Sacks. Hey, Luciferina. I'm thinking about her today for some reason, probably because she's smart and sassy and sexy as hell. I think about her quite for some reason, probably because she's smart and sassy and sexy as hell. I think about her quite often, to be honest. Welcome to the Cult of the Curious. Get ready to have fun, stuff, and more info until you're learning whole.

Dan Cohen's, the master sucker, the head meat sack, hovercraft captain of the SS Suck, and you are listening to Time Suck. I got a solid suck for you today. If you don't stick around for the updates at the end of the show, usually you may want to stick around today. Got some golden ones, some really, really cool updates that really kind of show how much this community means to some people and how far it's come. It's pretty inspiring, I think.

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You don't know if I'm wearing pants or not, but that's probably part of the fun. And on Spotify, you can easily bounce over and listen to six different stand-up albums of mine if you're curious about that because I've heard it shows that like, oh, you know, this is the first time I've heard of your stand-up. I got a lot of it. Get a lot of it out there. If you want to hear some new stand-up, come out to a happy murder tour date. I'll be the Texas theater and Dallas. This is a theater where they caught Lee Harvey Oswald. I always want to say John Wilkes Booth and I get the two assassins names missed on my head,

but this is where he went after he, you know, as opposed to he took those shots at JFK. The seeker group, I'll be there in Houston on the 27th, they added a late show because the first show sold out, 18 and up for those Texas shows instead of the normal 21 and up. So get on out there young suckers. I'll be at the punchline.

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And then a quick reminder about time suck the gathering. Get your calendars out, make some vacation plans. April 29th at noon, Pacific time. That's when the tickets go on sale suck the gathering, get your calendars out, make some vacation plans. April 29th at noon, Pacific time. That's when the tickets go on sale for the gathering. A time suck social event that'll take place right here in CDA, right here in Cortal Lane where you can see the suck dungeon, meet other time suckers and space lizards, hang out in the hardest sucked them. The actual gathering will take place on Saturday, August 17th, 2019.

You're going to get a personal tour of the suck dungeon, private dinner, it's a time-sock of random 10 over six, where they'll have a time-sock of theme, private menu. The whole restaurant will be ours for the evening. There's gonna be giveaways, photo booths, all this fun stuff. Take it to first come first, or that's fine, it's only 55 tickets. And when they're done, they are done because that's all we can fit at 10 over six.

And this is just a test to see how well we can do in events and hopefully build it and make it much bigger for the following year. So make sure you read all the directions when you get your tickets include your shirt size, mailing address, preferred tour time of the suck dungeon. All right. Now let gates, I have to say that looking into the moon landing conspiracies which led to understanding why we wanted to land on the moon in the first place and why humans are interested in space, space, exploration, just at all. In the interesting beliefs of many people that they have about the moon all of it was just a blast for research Lot of moon info on the web and

Luckily Not all of it is written by British Wacadoodle supreme and conspiracy living fucking legend David Ike He has some very interesting talks about the moon not everyone shares David's belief in the moon matrix the moon, not everyone shares David's belief in the moon matrix. Uh, and David likes 2010 epic book, human race, get off your knees. The lion sleeps no more. Maybe my favorite conspiratorial book, David says, and I quote, the moon is the reptilian control center and it is manipulating and regulating life on earth and extraordinary detail. The reptilians are broadcasting a false reality from the moon

that humans are decoding into what they think is a physical world. It is a vibrational construct. The same as the reality portrayed in the Matrix movies. The moon, like all quote, physicality, like that's up for debate, is a waveform phenomenon that we decode into a hologram that only exist as such an art decoded reality. So yeah, that's one school of thought regarding the moon. David doesn't think we ever landed on the moon because the moon isn't a moon. It's a vehicle of oppression. It's vibrational frequencies to make you fucking want to just work and not think about

the oppressor. Wake up, people. to make you fucking want to just work and not think about the oppressor wake up she will uh... what we call the moon is some sort of a lizard illuminati mind control death star if you look hard enough it's unbelievable how many people actually believe that there are no no shortage of people uh... who don't believe for a hot minute that a human is ever set foot in the

moon my own great grandfather my great-grandpa john apparently uh... was uh... was staunchly uh... believing that the moon apparently was a was staunchly Believing that the moon landing was a hoax. He didn't buy it for a second He thought I was all shot on a Hollywood studio. Did Stanley Kubrick actually help shoot the whole moon landing scene on a soundstage To help the US win the Cold War like my grandpa thought It is landing on the moon just a fantasy scientifically impossible like some people believe At least far beyond our current technological possibilities,

or definitely beyond the technological expertise we had in 1969, or is it definitely possible to land on the moon? What does a science actually say? There's a lot to unpack when it comes to the moon landing conspiracy. How about we start with a little bit of cultural context? I like that, you know that.

You know, like set in the stage for the, for the actual topic. What was happening in 1969 when we supposedly landed on the moon? What was going on in America? What was happening with the whole space race? July 16th, 1969. That's the day that NASA tricked the world and to think and they launched a Apollo spacecraft 11 carrying commander Neil Armstrong command module pilot Michael Collins and lunar module pilot Edwin Buzz Aldrin damn you illuminati. Two years after the summer love Americans and Russians were itching to get off this rock take a step towards becoming a multi planetary species.

In the background of the space race between the US and the Soviet Union a race to see which country possess superior technology that could be militarized. Which nation was scientifically capable of putting a man on the moon? Who wins? Democracy or communism? There was the Vietnam War. Constant fear of the Cold War between Russia and the US, you know, turning into some kind of World War III apocalyptic nuclear holocaust.

Counter-culture and anti-war press culminating in hundreds of thousands of protesters for peace in DC. Also several peace-based music festivals were going on, which included the iconic and largest of 1969 music festivals. Woodstock was an estimated 400,000 plus people rocking it out for peace. If I could pick one music festival in history to attend, Woodstock would be it for sure, like hands down. Joe Cocker's rendition of the Beatles with little help from my friends

From that concert maybe my favorite live performance than any song of all time What would you do if I sing? Add it to Would you stand up? Oh, I got on me I got on me Living me your ears and all Sing your song I will try not to say out of here. Oh, baby. I can buy little hill from my friend Like I love he's like having a seizure on stage when he's just

Shaking his hands all around Shit speaks to my soul for some reason anyway shaking his hands all around. Shit speaks to my soul for some reason. Anyway, gas was 35 cents a gallon in 1969, cost of a home average around 15,500 bucks. Easy rider, chitty, chitty bang, bang, butch casting the Sundance kid with the most popular movies. Still need to watch Easy Rider.

I'm ashamed to haven't seen it yet. Classic Dennis Hopper, that movie really kind of opened the door for a lot of indie films just in general, by the way. It was shot for almost nothing. Made tens of millions. It's been a little over a year since the death of Martin Luther King Jr. And there were so many things to be worried and or excited about. Topse amongst them. For many was space travel. Party thanks to massive amounts of pro-spaced propaganda being pushed on American and Soviet people.

Although there are several other moons just in our solar system alone, we call our moon the moon because, fuck other planets moons. There can be only one Earth moon. The US moon landing, if it happened, was televised for an audience of approximately 530 million people on July 20th, 1969. That's the day we won the race, if it was real.

It was fake, it was the remains the highest rated short film of all time. And actually, we still won if it was faked, which I don't believe it all by the way. We still won in that case. We just cheated. Random moon landing trivia on that summer date, Neil Armstrong actually may not have said his super famous quote. That one small step for man one giant leap for mankind that quote may have been a little bit of a flood he was actually apparently supposed to say that's one step for a man one giant leap for mankind

and he may have said that but that's not what the world heard uh... recent analysis shows that the signal was likely muffled uh... that lack of a of a single letter certainly doesn't engage any of the awesomeness of the accomplishment, but that may have done a little bit, you know, this, this mush mouth understands this. I think on every standup comedy album I've ever made, there are at least four or five jokes that came out a little differently than I planned. My mouth didn't match my brain. And conspiracy is about the moon landing started the moment it was televised. Unlike major events

of today, the moon landing was not replayed a thousand times. This is part of the, uh, the genesis of the conspiracy, right? It wasn't replayed over and over. It was not a 24 hour news, you know, station wasn't thrown on the web immediately, but to be dissected by everyone around the world. It was broadcast live just one time. Snippets were then played on certain news programs, but VCRs weren't a thing yet. So almost no one can replay what they'd seen. Without being able to go back and rewatch, some people began to question what they had just witnessed and decided must have been faked.

I feel like they couldn't comprehend it. I mean, how can we get a TV signal from 200,000 miles away when it was still paying in the ass to pick up a TV signal from a transmitter on Earth a few miles away? I get to fucking move your little rabbit ear antennas around all the time.

Even today we can still barely get our cell phones to work under certain types of bridges or random dead zones in the middle of major metropolitan areas. How could a moon landing be broadcast perfectly to television sets around the world in 1969? I will admit it's confusing to someone like me who lacks a technological or scientific education. Other concerns people had right away in 1969 were why was the video footage watched on home television's actually a recording

of the real footage taken on the moon? Basically, why didn't the camera on the moon directly feed into a transmitter that broadcasts that signal to home television's? We're just gonna discuss this in more detail later. But like, why was there an extra step involved? You know, we can get a signal from space, but we couldn't afford to plug in an extra RCA cable to run the image directly to a TV. When people found out NASA allegedly filmed

the landing with some special cameras specifically built for recording in space, a lot of people started to question if they were really up there on the moon at all. Oh, was there actually a discarded Coke can in one of the shots? That was an early rumor. No, there wasn't. Why are there no stars in the images? Well, the shadows how would any camera work in the extreme climate conditions of the moon get really hot really cold up there. The moon has one sixth the gravity of earth why do you look like that why would they jump in like fucking two feet in the air. You know why why was Neil Armstrong clearly hanging to the left when he was known to consistently hang the right when he was on earth why was Benny Hill. left when he was known to consistently hang to the right when he was on earth.

Why was Benny Hill seeing chasing two women in the background for a few seconds? Bapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapapap She could deal time travel now. Aras will dark side of the moon. Okay, those last three are nonsense, obviously, but the other ones are real, real concerns people had. And another big question, many conspiratorial minded folk had was, why would we even actually try to explore space in the first place? Let's start by answering that one. It's a big one with a variety of answers.

The question of why we explore space is a big controversial, on one hand it makes sense intuitively to explore. It's what humans have always done. We love to explore new continents, the depths of oceans, the genitalia of someone we've met shortly before the bar closes, we love exploring.

It's not necessarily logical, but it's humans, it is our nature to be curious and explore. Perhaps the more we know about the universe, the more we know about ourselves. There may also be economic and even national security incentives pertaining to checking out what's going on around the earth. What if the moon has a shit ton of oil or gold? Well there's some Martins out there.

We need to light up with some Earth ammo. However, with space, it's super expensive to explore. And according to what we've seen via telescopes and with other technology, zero chance to find any valuable natural resources by anywhere near Earth. So with space exploration, are the risks and expense really worth the rewards? Maybe. We have ended up using a lot of stuff on Earth that was initially designed for space, or at least designed because of our desire for space exploration.

We'll get to some of those advancements in a bit here. During the Cold War, space race NASA spent $23 billion to either make it to the moon or enrich the fat accounts various illuminati members. And today's money adjusted for inflation has them almost $170 billion. I wonder what those illuminati members bought with other money. You ever think about that? There's all this talk of like the Illuminati with all these conspiracies. You know, it's all there's fucking getting them some money. It's the Illuminati getting some money.

What are they, what are they buying with it? Like what are they buying with it? The older rich people can't already buy. What crazy exotic horrific things, you know? Like diamond floors and their torture fucked engines. You know, and their undergrounds, like tenix sacrifice layers, always goes back to that kind of thought.

You know, they're probably buying a bunch of cool ceremonial like diamond swords and robes made out of virgin pubic hair. You know, they're wearing shoes made out of baby's faces, other super expensive, super evil shit like that. I mean, I certainly don't know for certain, but I assume that if you get a shoe made out of baby's faces, that's gonna cost you a pretty penny, all right, I mean, you gotta find someone to take and then kill a baby.

And then carefully take off that baby's face skin. That's not gonna be free, right? That's gonna take some time. Then what if you have a really large feet? Then you have to wait for like a perfectly matched set of quadruplets if you want, you know, like a matching set of shoes or really large twins. That's gonna take a while to source, you know?

There's the whole ordeal. How do you, how do you find a gifted cobbler who specializes in making shoes at a baby's fucking faces? That motherfucker's not gonna work for free, right? Surgeons make more than doctors because they specialize and with supplying demand economics being what they are, if there's a high demand amongst upper level, illuminati members for baby skin shoes,

specifically made out of baby's faces, then there's like probably one cobbler making those bad boys. And that dude or dude at, oh, man, that baby's face is, then there's like probably one coplar making those bad boys. And that dude or dude, they're calling their own shots. You know, I've gotten more than the little off track. And some of those observations came from Jesse Dobner or editor by the way.

I thought I went pretty dark with the baby face skin shoes and then he took it even further, which is one of the reasons I love him. Okay, what I was trying to say is that space exploration is expensive. And because it's expensive, there is the argument of why do it, right? We got a lot of problems on earth to fix, or we spend all this space money. So let's look into how to answer that question.

Full disclosure, when I was younger, I was totally against space exploration because of all the problems, you know, that I feel like need fixing here on earth. So looking for the answer to this question, in particular, it was very interesting to me. The arguments in favor of space exploration, based mainly in security, our own scientific understanding plus light sabres and tie fighters and cool as shit. Just a sheer amount of interest in science fiction can tell you how popular the idea of humans being a multi-planetary species

is. The argument for survival is based on the thought that the universe may not be that safe of a place, right? There's that concern that goes outside of money. Even without some unknown hostile race of space creatures, the universe is one giant killing field with thousands of deadly variables, so many things that can kill us all. Stars exploding, sunstorm, solar flare, space debris, asteroids, black holes, gamma ray burst, wherever the fuck dark matter is, powerful, gravitational shifts, you know, those are a few threats that we could use better understanding of.

And even if we don't have to worry about being killed by an outside space threat, we do have to worry about destroying the earth and needing to possibly someday relocate. That might sound a little far-fetched to some, but it's a logical concern, in my opinion. You can't just quickly put together an intergalactic relocation plan. You got to plan ahead for something like that. So it's good to be starting on that now. The earth is full of all kinds of catastrophes, fires, floods, earthquakes, disease, extreme climates, tyrants with access to nuclear weapons,

juggalos, carneys, pines, look at here. Now I got something. That's as big I already look at a woman's beard. All kinds of crazy shit. What if a new ice age hits, what if global warming accelerates and crops and livestocks die off in mass and trigger global starvation? What if we poison the ocean somehow,

throw off our world's entire ecosystem? You know, we might need to leave the Earth to survive. Space travel would ensure that the human race exists into the future, even if Earth is destroyed, which is great for humans, maybe not great for the universe. If you look at our species like a cancer, like some of my favorite comics have,

like Bill Hicks, Doug Stanhope, George Carlin, maybe spread the human disease across the stars, not ideal, right? Hey, Titan, we're here. And we brought Sephylist Taco Bell and Pornhub. Nice to meet you. There's also the National Security Argument in favor of space technology.

You know, the United States has spent a lot of money, about 170 billion over four decades and brain power to fund the Star Wars program that Reagan kicked off in 1983 to add another level of defense against the missiles of hostile powers, looking at you, Russia. Right, this program was designed to intercept missiles at various phases of their flight, but the technology didn't exist to do that in 1983

and it required military technology orbiting the earth in space to work. So we had to figure some space shit out. Critics of the program, very skeptical of the strategic defense initiatives ability to do what it's purported to do, but you know, at least we're trying, I guess. George Lewis, professor at MIT, who assessed the strategic defense initiative in 2010, says the Department of Defense's tests only offer the appearances of success, saying that the tests are carefully orchestrated scenarios that have been designed to hide fundamental flaws. But again, at least we're trying.

Currently, President Trump has brought space defense back into the mainstream conversation with his space force. In August of 2019, Vice President Mike Pence outlined plans for the new US military branch designed to fight wars in space This new branch would be equal to other branches of the military and would go into effect in 2020 Is that actually gonna happen next year are gonna have Marines and other military stations in space? No, no, fuck no No, no way, but it'd be super cool if we did Right, we're not even close to having that technology now, but if we don't try to develop it now, we're never gonna get there

And if we can military militarize space first what a huge advantage the US will have in defending itself against threats from other nations or unknown threats from other parts of the galaxy. China has developed weapons. It can destroy satellites in 2007. They demonstrated this by destroying one of their own. Additionally, Russia has tested missiles that can potentially destroy satellites if another major world war broke out in 10 or 20 years. Space weaponry can play a major role.

And of course there's critics, you know, and spending money on this type of space technology. Critics such as Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders who says maybe, just maybe, we should make sure our people are not dying because they lack health insurance before we start spending billions to militarize outer space. I hear you, Bernie, with your sarcasm. But what about fighting the fucking lizard people, Bernie? What about that? No one's gonna care about your stupid health insurance and free educational access if a new, angrier race of space lizards flies over and starts fucking up

our planet. And we didn't have the foresight to get some space marines out there with laser guns and force fields. Another cool star track, shit, Bernie. Anyway, the Trump administration actually asked for eight billion over the next five years to continue our quest to militarize space. Okay, to circle back to the financial upside of space exploration of T's at a few times. There isn't any, at least not in the short term in some ways, like in the sense that could we make our taxpayer money back if we venture further out into space? No, no, no, no, probably not. As I said earlier, it's highly unlikely we're going to find like a ton of gold or some

other precious mineral or resource. And even if we did, not cost effective to bring it back from space. Many economists support the idea of letting private businesses explore the stars and put the potential profits and or losses into the hands of these private individuals instead of putting the taxpayers in the line for a gamble unlikely to pay off financially anytime soon a favor. Elon Musk's space X corporation is one of these companies. I'm in favor of that.

That is my libertarian stance. It's like, let's let these companies figure it out, which the government is looking into more and more and more by the year. Maybe someone can set up some kind of kick ass all inclusive resort on Mars or something with gravity free pool space orgies. That'd be a money maker. And actually while the taxpayers may not benefit

from our space technology, corporations have made money off technology developed because of space exploration already. Another benefit of the huge project to go into space is a scientific advancement that comes with it, whether space exploration is done by private companies or governments, science and technology that comes from space exploration attempts undeniably beneficial already. I mean, thanks to the 170 billion we spent in the late 60s, we have sweet shit like Velcro and temper pete mattresses. That's not bad. That's probably worth it. I don't like time shoes I want to sleep like an astronaut, but seriously though there's the list of scientific advancements that come from NASA is extensive already

So like a dick. I'm gonna read every single one of them. So strap in this can take about three hours No, I'm gonna do that. I'm gonna break it down into a few categories medical Medical tech, transportation, energy tech, everyday tech, and list off a few randoms. Medical technology is a big one. Tast with a mission to keep astronauts alive in the most extreme space conditions. NASA contracted scientists that pushed medical technology to incredible new levels.

They're responsible for improvements in X-ray technology, better understanding of osteoporosis, developing improved vaccines, better understanding of osteoporosis, developing improved vaccines, better breast cancer detection, treatment infrared, ear thermometers, artificial limbs, ventricular assistance devices, on and on and on. One important research area is growing

high quality protein crystals. What the hell are those? Well, 100,000 protein crystals can be found in the human body and the earth has a billion of them. They are all different in unlocking the secrets of protein crystals could lead to better drug designs. The microgravity of space makes for perfect, you know, the perfect study of these interesting little guys. Even the areas of robotic surgeries and tumor removal have benefited from NASA scientists. Earlier this year, this is my favorite, those back to the future, like hover boards that Marty McFly was on,

they went on sale in China, Japan and South Korea That comes directly from the advancements and anti-gravitational technology pioneer by NASA the YouTube videos are fucking insane About these things. I'm hoping they passed safety inspections in the US soon so I can have one You know before I'm before I'm too old to write a hoverboard. First models float roughly six inches off the ground. They can hit speeds of over 50 miles an hour, which I know may not sound like that fast, but when you're hovering, I bet it feels like you're going 30 miles an hour.

One tech site thinks that future generations will kick the speed of these babies up to over 35 miles an hour by some time in 2020. That would be fucking amazing. Apologies to anybody who wants one now like myself, but can't get it because I made that shit up. So, you know, that's that part's not true.

Sorry, sorry, I forget your hopes about hoverboards. How excited were you for a second, so many? You're like, fuck, I'm gonna get a hoverboard for Christmas. You can't get one. You can get something called a hoverboard. They sell a variety of a handle of scooters online called hoverboards, but they're liars because none of them fucking hover. Space exploration technology hasn't led to hoverboards yet,

but it's led to other cool products that are real. Besides sending or pretending to send astronauts to space, NASA engineers have designed a number of cool technologies that have been used to make a terrestrial travel, easier and more safe, anti-ICEM technology. Right? That sounds like it's something to do with Hayden cake, but it actually is a pretty neat technology that makes air travel a lot safer. And it's also causing me to miss

some connections, right? Because the de-ISEM people at the airport can't get their fucking shit together, and they take too long my opinion. So there's also annoyances because of NASA. Highway safety has been upgraded by NASA research and the development and implementation of safety groups. These NASA hoaxers have helped improve radial tires. They've helped improve anything GPS related. I mean, how big is that? We have that on our phones now. We also have NASA to thank for advancements in water and air purification techniques and upgrading to freeze dry technology.

Infrared lights are currently grown food across the globe. We have NASA to thank for that as well. Here's some other random cool products. To me, this first one, probably the biggest, most important to most people, we can thank NASA for camera phone technology. How important has that become to modern life? Some people based on the Instagram profiles

that I look at seem to live almost exclusively for selfies. Like if they had to pick between a selfie or water, I think they would struggle. Initially, diamond hard coatings for aerospace systems or research and this technology led to the development of scratch resistant lenses, which also led to scratch resistant like phone screens, keep all you clumsy motherfuckers from busts on your phones while you're dropping them, taking your selfies.

Nike Airs, Nike Airs. Nike Airs, oh, part of their design to NASA. Nike Air Trainers would not exist if it weren't for suit construction technology developed by NASA. Man, think about that. NASA technology has led to fucking better dunks. That's pretty sweet.

Even the Black and Decker dustbuster, owes this design to NASA. NASA approached Black and Decker to develop a lightweight device to collect samples on the moon. NASA approached Black and Decker to develop a lightweight device to collect samples on the moon, and then Black and Decker used that technology to create the Dustbuster in 1979. Sex-loop, the porn industry,

OZI allow their appeal to NASA. NASA's early research with lubrication led to, well, you know, extra holes, being more comfortably and more often filled, which is a huge part of porn if you've ever looked, you know, extra holes being more comfortably and more often filled, which is a huge part of porn if you've ever looked, you know, astro glide is based on NASA technology. Astro glide, a clear water based lubricant was developed by an engineer named Dan Ray while he was working on the space shuttles cooling systems at Edwards Air Force Base in 1977. Thanks, Dan.

And hey, I'll lose to Fina. I thank you. Also, so many dicks, vagina,, I'll lose to Fina. I thank you. Also, so many dicks, vagina, clits, and especially buttholes, thank you. Man, do buttholes, thank you. Ah, rough, rough, before consistent quality loop. Also, you know, other body areas, probably thank you, like an area between breasts

and probably some feet, maybe between even toes in certain spatial conditions. Back to the knee, probably thanks, armpits, thank you. God knows, whatever other body parts people have loomed up. Which I would have known about AstroGlide when I took that banana peel into a break room. Back when I was 16 years old, I would have had a much better sexual experience

if I would have loomed that peel up. Anywho, so many cool profitable products made thanks to space technology. So space exploration in this way, very profitable. And the list of products, it goes on and on and on. Memory foam developed by NASA 1966 to absorb shock and airplane seats. Ultimately found uses again

in tempered pedic management, football helmets, right? Shoes, hospital beds, prosthetics, cars, amusement parks, modern art, a lot more concussions in the NFL. It wasn't for NASA technology. So, okay, so now why do we humans, so now that we know, excuse me, why humans want to explore space, some of the incentive we had to go to the moon

and we know that space exploration is actually not just a huge way to money. So why can't people accept, now that we've kind of spelled you know, spelled us out, why can't a lot of people accept that we did land on the moon? Well, partly because the moon has been a huge source of fascination and wonder since the very first days

of humankind, we have a tremendous amount of emotional energy invested in the moon and emotions, often not the friend of logic. Before we jump into today's timeline of the supposed moon landing and digging to conspiracies about the moon and checking with the edit to the internet, so good, so good to also ask the big question. If we really did go there 50 years ago, why haven't we been back?

Gonna answer that stuff, but before we do that, let's go over some moon facts. Let's understand a little more about just what the moon is. Our moon is pretty large for a moon, orbiting the planet of our size, and it just 238,856 miles from Earth. It's relatively close for a moon compared to other planets that we know of. Many of the moon hoax theories start

because of this relationship. People think it's too perfect. Right, it's so perfect, it's gotta be fake on some level. That to me is some seriously paranoid thinking right? Just all right supposed moon just happens to be the perfect distance to move the tides and just the right way Just close enough to allow the possibility of a moon landing. I'm buying it. I know you're faking it I know you are. It's got to be some sort of giant projector some sort of computer simulation program There's no way that shit's real. Oh right, I bet sunset's a real too.

I see you matrix. You think I'm dumb? You think I'm dumb to fall enough for a perfectly round moon? Supposed to be a moon? Why isn't it lumpy? It's riddled me that. Why is it all one color?

Why is it looking like some kind of light bulb at night? Ha, ha, okay. Answer me, that was quick. Why do my wife leave me? Why do my kids return my texts? Why do my mama will her own to my sister? Cause she says she gave it to me. She, I would quote, just piss it all away.

Why is there blood in my urine? Why is Uncle Sam fucking with my disability checks? Why are, why are insurance investigators from home in the liquor store? Is somebody got damn questions? Anyway, you hear what I'm saying? The moon is pretty perfect. As is earth.

Amazing how perfect our little planet and moon combo really are. I know this emotional thing on some level. But this perfection is one of the main reasons I consider myself agnostic most days and not atheist. I think about this relationship. I believe that some creator, some life giving force beyond the abilities of our comprehension created a planet perfect for life.

So why wouldn't they create a perfect moon to accompany it? That's just my beliefs, I know, but that's what I believe. Hey, on Nimrod. The tides, perhaps even the Earth's axis life itself rely on the perfect placement of a rock next door. The sun's diameter is about 400 times the size of the moon and about 400 times as far away.

Making the sun and moon appear the same size to us on Earth. So there's the answer to that question. The 2160 mile diameter of the equator gives Earthlings a chance to witness total eclipse to the sun. That's pretty cool. Scientists believe that the core of the Moon is likely molten, at least partly.

Some of the composition of the Moon is unknown, probably lizard tunnels. The crust of the Moon is comprised of mostly oxygen, silicon, magnesium, iron, calcium, aluminum with other trace elements. Extreme temperature fluctuations exist on the moon at least compared to earth on the moon surface a highs can can exceed 260 degrees Fahrenheit. That's 127 degrees Celsius. That's fucking tank top weather. Right. If I if that's the man that is that is that is sizzling weather. That's when you go up and you're like, man, what's that steam? Oh, that's my skin. That made the space race, not just about,

oh, no, sorry, before I say that, in temperatures can go as low, because this is 280 degrees Fahrenheit in the negative. 173 degrees Celsius, my God, right below, with a little dash in front of it, a little negative. That's when you get frostbite on second one. That's when you turn into some fucking freezer burnt food in second two.

So this all made the space race not just about who could build the best rocks in space shifts, but also who could keep a human alive and hell is supposed to pocket live to conditions. I think it has some usefulness if we fuck up Earth too bad. And by the way, if you look up online, the highs and lows for moon temperature, it varies considerably. The numbers I just gave you came from what appeared

to me to be the most legitimate sites. And it consists of numbers also given conspiracy theorists more ammo. Okay, okay, now I've given a lot of info. We know a little bit about the moon. We know a little bit about why we'd want to visit the moon. So now let's jump into today's timeline. To look into the space race,

a supposedly goddess to the moon in 1969, right after a quick word from today's sponsor. Today's time stock is brought to you by Quip. One of the most important things we do for our health every day is to brush our chomp chomp's. Right? Yeah, most of us don't do it properly, which is fine, which is fine. where our health every day is to brush our chomp chomp's. Yeah, most of us don't do it properly,

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I would totally take a quip on a spaceship. So link to this great deal in the episode description. Button link in the time-sook app on website. Time-sook motherfucking timeline right now. Shrap on those boots, soldier. We're marching down a time-sook timeline. 1957, the year I was born. That's where we just started. I wasn't born.

I was born in 1857, sons of bitches. That's where we just arrived. In our timeline, the space race between the United States and the Soviet Union was more about politics and technology. It was communism versus capitalism, westernism, collectivism, and central planning versus individual liberty and open markets. To simplify was the ideas of the east versus the ideas of the west. While the conspiracy behind the moon landing hoax started right as Neil Armstrong took that first step on the surface of the moon, the space race began over a decade earlier.

The competition between the USSR and the United States and to be fair, a few other nations here and there was like a prize fight between world champions, but with rockets, right? In this corner, wearing red, white and blue, trunks weighing in at 172 million citizens who for the most part enjoy their lives, especially if they are male and white, we have the United States America. And in this corner, wearing red and gold trunks, weighing in at 205 million citizens, who for the most part live in constant fear of imprisonment and or death, regardless of gender or skin color and hate their lives. We have the Soviet Union. Let's get it on. All right, was that kind of that?

United States ended up winning the battle. And eventually the Cold War, but the space race was an important period in history that in the end helped bring the world together. While the root of the conflict simultaneously helped destroy it, almost, you know. Although the USA and Russia had been working on their own space programs for years,

it was Russia who actually drew first blood in the space race with three successful space missions in 1957. On August 21st 1957, the USSR, who have been working on their space program for a decade already began their space worthy intercontinental ballistic missile testing with their Sim York commission. On August, yeah, again, on August 21st, Russia put up the, no, I'm sorry, on October 4th, 1957, Russia put up their very first man-made satellite into orbit and received signals back with the famous Sputnik I mission. By November of that year, they had sent the first living creature into orbit, a young and small husky mix named Lyca as part of the Sputnik II mission. a young and small husky mix named Lika as part of the Sputnik 2 mission.

American journalist dubbed the mission Mutnik. Unfortunately Lika did not survive the journey, poor little guy. He overheated in the cockpit, turned the craft's fourth orbit around the earth. Bojangles is fierce right now. Bojangles just held up a note. He's going to time travel back to 1957 and he's going to put a few of those Russian scientists in that shuttle instead, send them to overheat up there above the earth. While a note. So he's going to time travel back 1957 and he's going to put a few of those Russian scientists in that shuttle instead, send them to overheat up there above the earth while he and a little Lika eat steak and chase cats down here on earth. More on animals that led the way for human space travel in a bit. The United States desperate to fight the propaganda power of the Soviet space successes put their first satellite in the

space January 31st 1958. This mission known as Explorer 1 was the first time humans detected the Van Allen radiation belt, which we'll come into play later in moon landing conspiracies. Explorer 1 revolved around Earth in a looping orbit that took it as close as 350 kilometers 220 miles to Earth as far as 2500 15 kilometers15 kilometers, 1,563 miles away, it made one orbit every 114.8 minutes or a total of 12.54 orbits per day. That's cooking up there. The satellite itself was 203 centimeters, 80 inches long, and 15.9 centimeters, 26 and

a quarter inches in diameter. Explore one made its final transmission on May 23rd, 1958. It entered Earth's atmosphere burned up on March 31st, 1970. So last a while, after more than 58,000 orbits. The satellite weighed 14 kilograms, uh, 30.66 pounds. Huh, all right. So uh, uh, the US Army ballistic missile agency was launched, um, or launched a satellite conjunction, and conjunction, excuse me, with the US Army ballistic missile agency was launched, or launched a satellite conjunction, and conjunction, excuse me, with the Jet Propulsion Laboratory, based in Pasadena using its Jupiter C rocket.

Pasadena not far from movie studios in Burbank, right? That's fun for conspiracies. Also not to be outdone by the Russians United States, sent three dogs into space, two young golden shepherds named Mickey and Spot and a black Labrador puppy named Star. Mickey and spot both died from overheating during launch. Star survived and lived for 27, sorry, for 27 orbits before dying from oxygen deprivation. So pretty cool that the US was able to keep a dog alive longer.

I mean, I see that as a win. On March 17th, 1958, the Vanguard won. The world's first solar power satellite was successfully launched by the USA. And this was followed by the launch of the world's first working communication satellite week before Christmas, 1958. Both of these satellites also featured crews of three dogs, a piece, all six of them. This time, all black labs all lasted until their auction ran out. One dog made it to almost a hundred orbits before running out of air. So that's progress. Russia countered the successful US missions with

their Luna 1 missions in early January of 1959. The Luna 1 completed the first engine restart in orbit. It became the first human object to be in the heliocentric orbit of the Earth. First satellite to rotate around the Barry Center or center of gravity of our solar system up in the animal ante as well. The Russian stuff that satellite with no less than a dozen husky mixes. From February, 1959 to August, the United States would punch back and have four more ground breaking missions. They launched the first ever satellite Vanguard two or excuse me, first ever weather satellite Vanguard II, first satellite in polar orbit, discover one, discoverer one, they launched a spy satellite with a camera, discoverer four, which actually did not work unfortunately.

In August 7th, 1959, the United States Explorer six took the first photo of the Earth from orbit. Not to be outdone, the Russians accomplished the first impact into a celestial body as they crashed from shit into the moon during their learnar 2 mission on September 14th, 1959. They weren't done. Several dogs on that flight. The Russians, the Russians, Lunar 3 mission took the first photo of the far side of the moon on October 7th, 1959.

The launch of satellites just left and right. The United States had four more space missions in 1960, which included launching the first imaging satellite, the first successful spy satellites. They recovered the first intact satellite from orbit, and on August 12, 1960, NASA launched the first passive communication satellite with the Echo 1A mission, huge gains for Uncle Sam. The Soviets took four consecutive blows from the United States, but they were far from knocked out.

Before we continue with the space race, we should acknowledge the sacrifices of the, of, you know, many earthlings before humans that made space exploration and travel possible. This is just interesting to tell to me. Tons of animals were jettisoned into the deep darkness of space. By the fall of 1959, no less than 186 dogs were sent into space

between the US and the Soviet Union. The oldest dog was a 14-year-old gray-hound mix, named Sally, and the youngest was a 10 week old Springer Spaniel named Lucky. Lucky actually caught fire during launch in the spring of 1959, so not lucky. The most dogs ever launched at one time was 26. They put 26 choiseless into the discovered 13 launch. And none of those lived.

As I should point out, probably at this point, I should probably point out that I have lied about the dog stuff other than the first Russian dog like you So sorry, not sorry It just makes me laugh so hard picture in a lot of you listing you know traveling to work and stuff and be like what the fuck Why why so many dog why do you claim all those fucking chois and one is launched why would it what? What's the scientific benefit of that? But they did do actual animal experiments, so we're not off the hook animal lovers The Russians were the first to send plants and animals into orbit also the first to have them return alive with a spotnik five mission on August 19th 1960

That's a huge step, right? I want to find out if you can get an animal back alive before you start sending people up there Although it was like who can be credited as the first creature to orbit earth Although it was Lika who can be credited as the first creature to orbit Earth, Belka, and Stroke, to Iron Curtain Pups became instantly famous as the first surviving dogs to return from orbiting in space. These two strays chosen because purebreds were believed to be too coddled for space, orbit of the Earth more than a dozen times before landing the next day. Man, they had some strange dog thoughts.

Herald of the heroes, these Ruski months appear on stamps. They appear in Russian propaganda. They paved the way for the first human in space just a year later. For their unprecedented hard work, the two dogs upon their deaths were stuffed. Yep, mounted and put on display with the capsule they traveled in at the Cosmonautics, yeah, Cosmonautics Memorial Museum in Northern Moscow, not kidding. The US also had at least one stuffed space animal. Space Monkey was at one time on display in the US National Air and Space Museum in Washington,

DC. Able of female recess monkey was born in Independence, Kansas, and she flew inside the Jupiter nose cone with Baker, a female squirrel monkey on May 28, 1959. And a little army experiment designed to test the biomedical effects of space travel. Launched from Cape Canaveral, they reached a maximum altitude of 300 miles, traveled down raised 2,000 miles at speeds reaching 10,000 miles per hour before re-entering the Earth's atmosphere and being recovered by Navy ships.

Both monkeys survived the trip, but then Abel died from the anesthesia during a routine post-flight operation, and then they then Abel died from the anesthesia during a routine post-flight operation and then they had Abel stuffed. Can you imagine if we did that with people, like if you could go to the Space Museum and just check out Neil Armstrong. I did this with NASA, had a taxidermist just go to work immediately when he died in 2012 at the age of 82, just sad glass eyes staring out from a mummified face. Everyone's a small family member swing through to pay their respects to the museum to drop off some flowers by his feet, you know, in between Asian and European tourists, snapping off selfies. In front of his dead creepily preserved body. One year for an April Fool's joke, you know, they bring the taxidermist back in and put deer antlers on his head, making

him some kind of like a jackalope, like a human version of that. Anyway, the Army transferred able to to the NASM in 1960 and then the natural museum of natural history, preserved her. The first four-legged space survivors, Belka and Strelka have an interesting story as all the Soviet space dogs were. The two heroes were rigorously trained to survive in the tight spaces of the capsule to endure extreme acceleration and probably not to lick each other's butts of a genus, quite as much as my dogs's pen and ginger do,

which horrifies Lizzie, by the way, every time she sees it happen. He'll lose to Fina, praise for jangles. I'm not sure which one to mention there. Before Strelka passed away, she gave birth to a puppy named Pushinka. And that puppy was given to President JFK's family as a gift by Soviet premier Nikita Khrushchev.

Pushinka lived at the White House, was actually known as fluff. In 1963, fluff gave birth to four pups, butterfly, terrible name for dog, white tips, also pretty bad, blackie, probably the worst, and striker, which is just gross. The pups were popular White House attraction and their descendants are still alive today.

I doubt Soviet space pups, or AKCC register, but they're probably not cheap either. Pretty cool pedigree. Have a dog to send it from a space dog. January 31, 1961, the US said, fuck dogs and sent the first surviving hominid into orbit a four year old chimpanzee known as ham the astrochimp. This brave and-or scared out of his poor mind early astronaut was part of the Mercury redstone two mission That probably stinky and almost certainly opinion ambassador lived until 1983 and then went on to write several successful books Including the New York Times best-selling children's book I pooped in space and his popular

Autobiography ham fuck human beings for sent me into space But for real ham was named after the Haliman aerospace medical center was the first Earthling to perform tasks in space. Not just go on the scariest goddamn ride those animals had ever seen. My God. Ham was trained to pull levers, trained to receive some tasty banana treats and to avoid being shocked for Ham. Several monkeys and apes got to take trips into the stars.

The first were actually before the official space race began. The first living creatures, possibly besides possible bacteria, were fruit flies, set up in 1947 by the U.S. In 1948, the first of many simmians went up with a bunch of science loving Soviet assholes, duct taped, oh, sorry. The first of many simmians went up when a win a bunch of science-loving Soviet assholes duct tape Albert the space macaque or macaque macaque. I can't like macaque macaque. Space macaque strapped to a V2 rocket shot in 39 miles towards the stars

before that brave little fucker suffocated during the flight. Okay, he wasn't duct taped, but the technology was still in the early stages and he didn't survive. Albert was followed by Albert II, who survived his terrifying V2 rocket flight, managed to travel eight of his miles into space, but died on the way back from a parachute failure. June 14, 1949, technically Albert II was the first primate in space as his trip past the Carmen line, a little bit about the Carmen line, the Carmen line is the place for the distinction between the Earth's atmosphere and space sits. The border of space sits at 110 kilometers

or 68 miles above sea level. And if illuminati space lizards are hiding up there like some wacky doodles actually believe, you could say they're Carmen Camelians. Yeah, you're seeing that, yeah. Carmen, Carmen, Carmen, Carmen, Carmen, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Camel, Cam, Camel, Camel, Cam, Camel, Camel, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam, Cam. Albert, the third, Albert four, would also get strapped into BT rockets, would also die to move technology forward. They would continue to name these McCax, Albert, and most would continue to not survive. They would suffocate, burn up, freak out, or the parachute wouldn't open. My God. Now, I'm going to be honest. I

feel a little bit sad about the dog a lie earlier. I didn't know that a real life monkey horror show was coming up right around the corner when I made that shit up. I had no idea these poor space monkeys were gonna be lighting up like sparklers or violently smashing into the earth after falling for thousands and thousands of feet. It's ridiculous. I first read this, they don't know how to actually thought I was getting loopy,

then I was making this up. The United States seemed to prefer monkeys while the Ruskeys did use a lot of dogs. God dang it. They had 57 dogs, were used as part of the space truck. Now I feel bad about the dog life even more. It's all so much worse than I imagined.

Why didn't they just use like repeat sexual offender like pedophiles instead, right? Send them up. The world has no shortage of them and who cares is they don't make it back. The very first dogs were Tizgan and Dizik. They reached space July 22nd, 1951, but they did not orbit.

They would be several years before Lika would be the first. They were however, the first mammals to be successfully recovered from a space flight. Many animals paved the way for human space flight and are still used to increase our understanding of the effects of microgravity. All sorts of monkeys, chimps, dogs, mice, wasps, beetles, turquoise, tortoises, worms, fish, rabbits, bees, ants, crickets, rats, snails, urils urchins moths brine shrimp jellyfish guinea pigs butterflies scorpions cockroaches bullfrogs garden spiders Tarot grades even even 10 space news probably couple row and oak recluses made in orbit probably some of those ombre a seno ants Right getting getting a space tough as well

Oh for you cat fanatics fr Fran sent the first kitty into space, October 18th, 1963, that Astro kitty was named Philly Sitt, a successfully recovered after parachuting back to Earth. I mean, and I say that, I picture the cat fucking jumping out and pulling like a rip cord, and then just like shooting out, it was the little space, fucking whatever, now I'm blanking on the word. Some kind it was, you know, the little space, fucking whatever, non-blanky on the word, some kind of ship.

You know what I'm talking about? The little space you had to parachute, not the cat, which would have been even better. Okay, okay, all right, back to the space race. February 12, 1961, Russia completes the first launch from Earth's orbit, made many technological advancements including the first mid-course corrections, the first spin

stabilization with the Vanera one mission. Then a few months later, they would crank the space race up to 11 on April 12th. Yuri Gagarin became the first human to achieve space light, right? The Russians are winning now. The Vostok one mission became a massive card in the Cold War propaganda game. Not to be outdone, the US would quickly respond. On May 5th, Alan Shepard would pilot the first manually controlled space flight and complete the first ever piloted mission. Freedom 7, Russia, not impressed. We already make it to space.

We have mountain space, and it's no problem. So you stay longer. You want to impress us? Yeah. You get the moon. You plant flag. Then I impress. Then you win.

The Soviet Union achieved the first planetary fly-by of Earth's neighbor Venus on May 19th. And then on May 25th, 1961, President JFK gave his famous, we're going to the Moon speech, asked Congress for $531 million to put a Yankee on the moon before the end of the decade. It would go into cost cost over 30 billion. The American response to Russia's recent successes was to put the first orbital solar

observatory in March of 1962 put that up there and then impact the far side of the moon for the first time with the spacecraft in April of 1962. Then out of nowhere, the UK jumped into the space fund, didn't expect that. The UK became the third country to get a satellite up in space with their area one satellite. The US helped put the first commercial satellite into orbit for a private company. Excuse me, AT&T on July 10, 1962. That's a big moment, the privatization of space or privatization of space. Excuse me, there are now hundreds of private satellites in space.

There's actually over 1100 active satellites between government and private, plus nearly 3,000 satellites that are no longer working. So you see, like, it wasn't just about when conspiracy theorists were saying, like, we never made it to the moon, they're really discounting much more than, like, you know, a few trips to the moon. They're discounting, like, this entire space race, because it's not like you just, the technology came out of nowhere, right? They're thinking that the Russians and the US just made up all of this shit. On August 12th, the Soviets cranked up to technological know-how when the Vostok, three in Vostok, four missions became the first simultaneous flights or Vostok. Vostok, three and four. First simultaneous flights of Vostok. Vostok, uh, uh, three and four, uh, first simultaneous flights

of multiple crude vessels. They also achieved the first ship to ship radio contact. On December 14th, U.S. made their own fly by Venus with the Mariner 2 mission. Uh, you know, Russia's like, we're all to do that. So this is no big way. Why are you copy? We do that already. June 16th, 1963, Russia once again up the ante with the Vostok six mission by sending Valentina Tarecia Kova the first woman in flights and first civilian into space Few days later the Soviets would break the five-day human flight record Three days later until I 19th NASA sent up the first reusable pilot of space plane with sub orbital X-15 They would also send up two more advanced satellites in December of 1963 and August

1964. And then the Russians would counter with a couple of space race. Hey, makers, over a year later, on October 12, 1964, the Russia, a Russian box, one sent the first multi person crafts in the space. Then on March 18, 1965, they achieved the first spacewalk on the Vashka two mission or Vashka two mission boom right two to the job United States would have their first space walk on June 3rd 1965 with the Gemini 4 mission to lie 65 NASA did their first fly by Mars in August to crew of the Gemini 5 broke the record for the longest space flight with eight days in orbit In December the Gemini 6A and Gemini 7 would make sweet spaceship love in December the Gemini 6A and Gemini 7 would make sweet spaceship love. They'd spaceship fuck becoming the first crafts to rendezvous in space. Get in it on! Dockin! Pods and holes!

December 18th, 1965, NASA, and the Gemini 7 crew increased the space flight record to two weeks. Russia, count on February 3rd, 1966 with the first ever soft landing on the moon, the first pictures ever taken from another celestial body. To add to the taunting, the Russians were the first to impact another planet when their Venera three contacted Venus, back and forth, back and forth, making sure we put our flag on the fucking moon for it's making more and more sense

when you think about this context, right? We didn't just randomly decide to do that and then just not go back for years after a few this context, right? We didn't just randomly decide to do that and then just not go back, you know, for years after a few more missions, right? This is built towards this. On March 16th, 1966, NASA and the crew of Gemini 8 successfully docked, right? They're getting it on too.

In April that year, the Soviets then put the first satellite around the orbit of the moon. The United States returned with the demonstration of superior rocket power. And in November, the crew of the Gemini 12 mission would complete a record five and a half hour space walk and demonstrate that people could do practical work in space. In late of October 1967, the Russians docked some remote control vehicles in space, right? More back and forth. On December 7, 1968, the U.S. launches at the ultraviolet observatory,

OA01, two weeks later, on December 21, Apollo 8 launches, and on December 24, they become the first human crewed flight to orbit the moon. Also, the first human spacecraft to ever be under the influence of gravity from another celestial body. And then these Soviets answer back with the Soyuz four and five missions, where they had the first exchange of crew between two ships in space. So that's impressive. But not nearly as impressive as what Americans would do next. The Apollo missions would usher the knockout punches for the United States in the space race. So now we've made it to that big controversial year for conspiracy theorist 1969 right when the Apollo mission supposedly

culminated into the first moon landing. On March 3rd 1969 the spacecraft known as Apollo 9 was launched. This test missions three member crew included the super not famous astronauts James McDivitt David Scott and Russell Schweichart. Apollo 9's mission was to test the entire spacecraft including the lunar module and the Saturn 5 rocket. The Apollo 9 crew spent 10 days in space doing spacewalk several technical tests being the first crew to fly to the lunar module. Two months before the moon landing would take place on May 18, three absolutely forgotten names in history crew the essential mission known as Apollo 10. It was basically a complete practice run at the moon landing, minus the actual landing. Crew members, Thomas P. Stafford, nope, never heard of him,

was the mission commander, John W. Young, command, command module pilot, and Eugene A. Surnin. Who? That was the lunar module pilot. They would test all aspects of the upcoming moon mission, including a lunar orbit and a descent to just nine miles above the surface of the moon. Man, they came so close! Nobody knows their names. After eight days, several transmissions and various systems test later, they returned it Earth safely. And then after decades of work and a great deal of treasure spent and a war-fueled space race to

push the preposterous idea that a man could step on the moon. It became a miraculous reality or one of the greatest hoaxes of all time. Apollo 11 will be crewed by the two most famous astronauts in history and also by one almost totally forgotten guy. There will be commanding officer James Tiberius Cook, first officer and science officer Spock and then the much lesser known chief medical officer, Leonard McCoy. And that is the star-sur-finter price. Neil Armstrong was the commander of Apollo 11. Buzz Aldrin, the second man to walk in the moon, was the lunar module pilot.

And then all poor Michael Collins was back in the, if I can back in the stage playing bass. Michael Collins was actually the command module pilot and third crew member. On July 16th, 1969 Apollo 11 is launched from the Kennedy Space Center Launch Complex 39 in Merritt Island, Florida. On July 19th, the craft passes the behind the moon and begins lunar orbit. On July 20th, at 2017 UTC coordinated universal time, the lunar module known as the eagle separates from the command module Columbia. The eagle then lands, the eagle is landed, right?

On the moon in a place called the Sea of Tranquility, the crew is asked to sleep. This one I favor details. The crew is asked to sleep before stepping onto the surface of the moon. Just take a little nap, right? Right when you get there. The men reported being too excited

and unable to sleep. Yeah, who's fucking dumb idea was that? Are you kidding me? That goes against everything in human nature. Hey, when you land on the moon, before you get off the fucking step on the moon and take the greatest steps in mankind, I want you to take a little nap first, right?

Just lay down, read a book, fall asleep for a little bit. That's ridiculous. Incredible news everyone. We have found the lost city of Atlantis, mermaid, sea serpents, wizards, most incredible city you've ever seen at the bottom of the Atlantic. It's enclosed in a giant protective shield. It's going to change everything we know about Earth. There's some other civilizations living inside there. Team Alpha, you're going to be entering the city at noon tomorrow and a special news to merciful design for justice, monumentous occasion.

When you enter your university technology, you've never seen a new race of beautiful people, streets of golden jewels, the secrets of God and the universe may be unlocked in Atlantis. As soon as you get there, we want you to lay down. We want you to take a nice long nap. Don't rush it. Just lay down immediately after arriving in the most exciting environment any human has ever seen. Just fucking take a quick little nap. There's gonna be naked mer people. I'm probably gonna come ask you to come inside the ship and have sex with you. I'm sure it's gonna be naked murder people. I'm probably gonna come ask you to come inside the ship and have sex with you. I'm sure it's gonna be amazing. Tell them to come back after you've gotten your wrist, right?

NAP first, then exciting shit. Let's know how life works. Anyway, just six hours later, on July 21st, 256 UTC. Neil Armstrong, uttered his famous line, that's one step for a man, a giant leap for mankind. Buzz Aldrin, can we hurt muttering in the back? I god damn I want to fucking be the guy to step on it. No buzz Aldrin was a second man to walk and speak on the moon 19 minutes minutes later. No one cares what he said

He described what he saw as magnificent desolation known with paying attention. They're like fucking Neil Armstrong was the best And buzz like now him. I'm here too you guys I'm walking around. I'm saying even cooler stuff. Like, yeah, fuck it, whatever. Hey, anyway, Neil, can't wait for him to get back. And then Michael Collins, like, no one, he was even, anyway, even knew who's there. It's right around here that conspiracy theorists

actually believe these dudes, this is, we're gonna get to this later, it's my favorite part of the suck. Some people actually believe that around this time that these guys met Nazis or aliens or ancient Samarian gods or had a coffee break while they're waiting for Stanley Kubrick to say action again. Later on the 21st lunar module reconnects with the command module Columbia with all three

pioneering space apes inside and they start the journey back to Earth. Three days later on the 24th, the Columbia splashes down in the Pacific Ocean. Randomly, when it landed, it hit a dog that was swimming out there and one more dog would die because of the NASA stuff. That's, I don't even know I said that. This is the official story of the first moon landing. And the three astronauts who had part of this mission have never wavered in their telling of the story. If this didn't happen, these men are lined as are many other men who claim to have stepped on the moon in the years that followed in 1969 Pete Conrad and Alan L. Bean landed

on the moon as part of the Apollo 12 mission. Guess they lied to 1971 Alan Shepherd and Edgar D. Mitchell landed as part of the Apollo 14 mission. Liars also in 71 David Scott James B. Irwin land as part of the Apollo 15 mission. Liars. The following year 1972, John Young and Charles M. Duke, Jr. land paid off by free masons to say that obviously. And then in 1972, Eugene A. Surnin and Harrison Jack Schmidt landed or were bribed by officers of the Bohemian Grove. All Americans, by the way, the Soviet Union never did land anyone on the moon. To this day, only the United States, the USSR, and China, they're the only countries to ever land anything on the moon.

So anyway, all 12 astronauts who landed have to be lying for a moon landing conspiracy to be true. Also lying are all the other crew members associated with these missions. Okay, so now before digging into the conspiracies, let's take a little closer to look at the first three men, conspiracy theorists think are full of shit. The first three men, the part of that mission, the conspiracy theorists think are national traders. Some of the worst liars in common,

the human race is ever produced. And let's do that by hopping out of today's time suck timeline. of today's time suck timeline. Good job, soldier. You made it back. Barely. BAM! BAM! BAM!

BAM! BAM! BAM! Okay, the 12 different dudes who set foot on the moon, not just random jackasses, heavily vetted tough people. These guys had flight experience, a lot of it backgrounds and engineering. They had to have degrees, you know, and some kind of relevant field, like engineering or medicine or physics or biology or chemistry.

They weren't launching just some old random jackass into orbit, you know. They weren't going into the gas station and checking out who was cleaning the floor and be like, ah, you, fucking send you into space. They launched into the best of the best, one of the very best was Neil Mother fucking Armstrong. Neil A. Armstrong born in, ah, these words, Wappa Kaneta, Ohio.

On August 5th, 1930, Neil was a successful naval, a naval, he was a naval guy. You guys, he worked in the naval. Now he was successful naval aviator from 1949 to 1952. Then he joined the Naval Advisory Committee for Aeronautics. In 1955, that would later be dissolved and reborn as NASA. Armstrong would go to be the project pilot

for over 200 different models of aircraft, including the high speed prototype project X-15. This thing could fly over forty five hundred miles per hour this is a bad-ass pilot it became an astronaut nineteen sixty two years first assigned as command pilot for jennie eight where he performed the first successful docking yeah did the first u.s.a. space fucking uh... march nineteen sixty six and then nineteen sixty nine as we stated he

became the first man to land a craft on another world and to step on its surface. He would go on to be the deputy associate administrator for aeronautics at NASA, at their headquarters in Washington DC. Here, he oversaw the aeronautics research and technology that NASA worked with. You don't do those kind of things if you're a dummy. I don't think you do all that and then just dupe the American public with a big fake moon landing story, but that's just me. From 1971 to 1979, Neil was a professor of aerospace engineering at the University of Cincinnati. He then entered into the private sector to crush it and become chairman of computing

technologies for aviation incorporated at a Charlottesville, Virginia. He has a Bachelor of Science degree in aeronautical engineering from Purdue, Master of Science and Aerospace Engineering from UCLA, holds honorary doctorates from several universities. He's been decorated by 17 countries. He's held a number of prestigious titles, several awards like the presidential medal of freedom, the congressional gold medal, NASA's distinguished service medal, and the Royal Geographic Society's gold medals. Just to name a few, he passed away in 2012 at the age of 82. And he was a tough son of a bitch up until the end. Neil, actually during his final interview in 2012 at the age of 82, did address the moon landing conspiracy theories.

He said, people love conspiracy theories. I mean, they are attractive. They are very attractive. But it was never a concern to me because I know one day somebody is going to fly back up there and pick up that camera I left. Love it. Some moon landing conspiracies go so far as to say

that NASA even tricked Neil Buzz and the other astronauts into thinking they just went to space in the moon. Get the fuck out of here. That is the dumbest notion. These guys are way too, these are highly educated, highly trained, you're not gonna fucking trick them. And to think they're on another planet,

if they're on this planet, that's absurd. Yeah, that's just, something is very wrong with your brain if you think that's possible. Buzz Aldrin, also an incredible man. He attended West Point and graduated third in his class. He flew F-86 saber jets and 66 combat missions in the Korean War was decorated with the distinguished flying cross. He flew F-100s in Germany,

then earned his Doctorate of Science and Astronautics at MIT. He wrote his doctoral thesis on manned orbital rendezvous. He was the first astronaut when he was selected in 1963 to have a doctorate in his peers, called him Dr. rendezvous. NASA still uses the rendezvous techniques he developed today. He was also one of the underwater training pioneers

to help simulate spacewalking. This bad-ass to the extreme is credit with the first successful space walk or extra vehicular activity EVA set a record of five and a half hours. After a trip to the moon, he would author nine books, including the New York Times bestseller, No Dream is Too High, Life Lessons from a man who walked on the moon. That's great title. And even in children's book, welcome to Mars, making a home on the red planet. He has an asteroid and a moon crater named after him. He started his share space foundation to push steam education. Steam stands for science, technology engineering, arts and math for kids K through eight. He also started his own space institute in 2015 to help

develop a vision for a permanent home for humans on Mars. And he's still alive today at 89 years young. Does this sound like the kind of guy who could be tricked or convinced to lie about a moon landing? He's been accused of being a fraud. Obviously, and he doesn't care for it. I love this story. It's a tough son of a bitch, man.

2001, a 37 year old filmmaker named Bart Sibbers and a camera man surprised buzzes uh... a polo mission buddy then seventy one year old niel armstrong at event new york city bar became uh... keep barcayne armed with the bible demanded that niel armstrong swear on it and swear that he really walked in the moon and he kicked out of the event rightfully so knelted in all this fucking lunatic anything i hate people like barth right so i make so a public address and then they specifically,

but I want you to tell it to me. You look in my eyes and you tell me, don't get so shit about you, right? Fucking weirdo. A year later, Bart then made the mistake of going after Buzz Aldrin, with presumably the same tactics, maybe even the same Bible.

And then at 72 years old, Bart, excuse me, Bart and Buzz, he's fucking, Buzz, epically punched 38 year old Bart right in the jaw and he became one of my heroes forever. Bart had lured Buzz to a Beverly Hills hotel under the pretext of an interview for a Japanese children's television show that wasn't real. It was an ambush, right? Bart set him up. When Buzz left the hotel, after realizing there was no one there

That was going to interview Bart approaches him with a small camera crew You know some other pieces shit Buzz refuses to speak with Bart Bart yells at him You're the one who said you walked on the moon when you didn't Then he got in buzz then he got this old this older guy's face and he calls Aldrin a coward and a liar and a thief. I watch this video so many times. Aldrin then asks, Bart, will you get away from me and Bart, because he's a complete piece of shit human being does not and then bus socks him in his fucking face.

And I've watched the footage of this punch over. It's one of my favorite punches of all time. I watched yesterday about 30 times. There's compilation videos on YouTube, they just show it going over and over and over and I smile every time. Great form, great form. He doesn't rear back, just a solid pop.

Just, you know, forward thrust, right to the job. Perfect technique. I wish he would have followed up by curb stomping, Bart's fucking head into the ground. And Bart, by the way, has one of the most punchable faces you will ever see. He looks like a villain in an Adam Sandler movie, right? He looks like, like, like some, some Pudgy Trust Fund kid, but my dad said I could do what I wanted to fucking punch. And then

Bart being the weasley little cowardly shipper that he is runs away tries to sue Aldrin for assault. The charges will be dropped when the court ascertains that Bart clearly provoked Buzz. Hail them, Rod. So that's that guy. Michael Collins also appears to be a man of great integrity. Michael Collins also graduated from West Point. He became an experienced military fighter pilot in Tesspa. So I keep flashing back to maybe like that punch also came from a place of anger that

had nothing to do with Bart. It would be even better if, if, uh, while he punched Bart and I should have been first to step on the moon. I was the better ass for something like that. Um, anyway, Michael Collins graduated from West Point, became an experienced military fighter pilot test pilot. Uh, I became the first son of a bitch to orbit the moon alone during his orbit while Armstrong and Aldrin did moon shit. He would lose communications with the earth and other two astronauts. All right, there's like a little two minute like a dark period when conspiracy theorists think a lot of weird shit with aliens happened.

He's quoted as saying, I am alone now, truly alone and absolutely isolated from any known life. I am it. If a count were taken, the score would be three billion plus two over on the other side of the moon. And one plus God knows what's on this side. What a great quote. In 2016, in an interview,

the then still very active 85 year old said he performed in one mini triathlon a year at 85. Dude's a winner. Dude's a winner. Dude's a champion. These extremely accomplished men are who the moon landing hoaxers are calling shit lords. Who's our calling liars and I don't like that. Also, a lot of their friends died

so we could land on the moon which kind of pisses these guys off, right? Kind of a big deal to do that. 18 astronauts have been killed in five separate incidents. The fallen American astronauts are memorialized at space mirror memorial as the Kennedy Space Center in Florida, while the cosmonauts are generally buried at the Kremlin wall in the Cropless in Moscow. Among the fatal tragedies are two space shuttle explosions, 1986 is Challenger explosion,

killing seven and 2003's Columbia explosion, killing seven more. Additionally, 11 other astronauts have been killed in training. And all this for a hoax. I mean think a thing about this just with a little bit of logic. All of this for a hoax. Okay now we've made it to the conspiracies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A general rule for tearing apart a feasible conspiracy theory is based on how many people knew about it. In this case it was thousands. Moon hoax truthers will say everything was compartmentalized, and that's true, but there are a few people who have come out, even on their deathbeds, to decry the truth of the hoax. This might be a good time to bring up another person whose reputation gets thrown into the bullshittification of the moon landing. Stanley Kubrick, right, the legendary filmmaker who in 1968 filmed

the masterpiece Space Odyssey 2001, number one filmmaker who in 1968 filmed a masterpiece, Space Odyssey 2001, number one suspect to have directed the hoax. And most people who believed that the moon landing was fake seemed to believe that it was filmed and that he filmed it. Right, this is the main conspiracy. I guess Kubrick is a good candidate to have filmed the hoax. I mean, after all, he did make a pretty cool space movie, you know, just a year earlier. In 2015, the Kubrick theory gained even more traction when

a fake interview, complete with the pretty convincing actor, was made and released by T. Patrick Murray. Mr. Murray, who has never officially admitted this was a hoax, created a film called Shooting Kubrick, where an actor playing Kubrick seemingly admits to filming the moon landing in his studio. It's an obvious hoax with a main actor at times breaking character and Murray calling the guy Tom. But like all internet horse shittery, there are armies of credulous fuckwits willing to embrace and disseminate this particular bit of information. Perhaps the best way to perspective in the

Stanley Kubrick aspect of the hoax theories, the most efficient way to put his involvement to bed, to rest is to hear what Stanley's daughter Vivian Kubrick has to say about her father's alleged involvement. She said, surely an artist such as my father, whose profound degree of artistic integrity is self-evident, whose political social consciousness is manifestedly, manifestly present, excuse me, in nearly every film he made, whose highly controversial subject matter literally put his life at risk, and yet he continued to make the films he's made. Don't you think he'd be the very last person ever to assist the US government in such a terrible betrayal of its people?

There are many very real conspiracies that have happened throughout our history are happening presently. I'm only too aware of the dreadful manipulations perpetrated by government, secret services, banksters, the military industrial complex, etc. But claims that the moonlandies were faked and filmed by my father, I just can't understand it. How can anyone believe that one of the greatest defenders of mankind would commit such an act of betrayal? My father's artistic works are his unimpeachable defense.

Finally, my love for my father, not withstanding, I actually knew him. I lived and worked with him. So forgive my harshness when I stayed categorically. The so-called truth, these malicious cranks persist in forwarding that my father conspired with the US government to fake the moon landings is manifestly a grotesque lie. So there you go. Make that what you wish, meet sex. All right, so where do these moon landing conspiracies

get started? There are many sources of moon hoax claims. Russian authors and researchers have been publishing books like Yuri Mukens anti-apolo, Lunar Scam of the USA for years. A lot of the moon landing propaganda has come from Russia. This is where some motivation to point fingers that Stanley Cooper comes from.

As recently as 2018, Russians have been molding the space race to be in their favor. Dimitri Rogazin, the head of the Russian space agency Ross Cosmos announced that Russia was preparing a moon mission to amongst other things. Check to see if the US did actually land on the moon. I actually found a 2018 Russian study that said 57% of Russians do not believe Americans ever landed on the moon.

In fact, again, a lot of this propaganda comes from Russia. What's interesting though is that Russian cosmonauts back in 1969 did not doubt that Americans landed on the moon. Probably because those dudes were very intelligent and smart enough to understand that we did in fact have the scientific scientific capability to do what we claimed. Not all of the anti-moon landing rhetoric started in Russia. Bill Kasing, the Chicago author of We Never Went To The Moon, America's $30 billion dollar swindle first published his conspiracy claims in the US back in 1976. A lot of current popular claims about moon hoaxes come from this fucking crank of a book. Some of his claims included that the Apollo Lander did not create blast craters. No dust would disturb on the lander's legs or from the engine blast and a bunch of tinfoil favorites I'm about

to go through. A big part of the need for conspiracy theories is general disdain for people who are in charge of things. In the case of the US moon mission, they started good. People loved it when JFK gave speeches about space, but people felt less comfortable with people like Henry Kissinger, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumpfield, Richard Nixon. Part of conspiracy beliefs is that conspiracies do exist and the proven distrust of one area can lead to paranoia in others, right?

Perhaps the most popular and amongst the easiest moon landing hopes conspiracy to debunk is the is the waving flag and amongst the easiest moon landing hoax conspiracy to debunk is the is the waving flag on the windless moon. How could that happen? Well, when Neil Armstrong claimed he's sea of tranquility in the name of the USA, the flag moved in the, in the quote, unquote, wind. Why? Right? There shouldn't be any wind. So therefore, all of the things spatulated were faked in Fuck NASA, right? Well, the truth is the flag is still on the moon, still in the same spot. It was propped up by wires to look taught.

And when Neil Armstrong shoved the 50-starred symbol of kick-ass, barbecues, and individual liberty into the ash, you look in dirt and moved a little bit because of inertia. The inertia from moving the flag when planting created the flag, right, to move as shown in the video. I've read articles written by tons of scientists saying they have no problem with a flag moving like it did all point to inertia and if they don't have a problem, neither do I.

There is also the claim that the photos of the moon landing were faked. My brain wants to point to the fact that over 8,000 images were released by NASA covering the entirety of their moon missions as proof that they went to the moon. That's a lot of photos to Photoshop back then, right? When photoshopping wasn't as easy as fucking around your phone,

but I guess someone could hire an army of Photoshop experts, ancient pre-photoshop experts. This is one of those claims you can't, this proof. If you really wanna believe that NASA edited all those images back then, I'm not gonna change your mind, you know, you and logic just don't get along.

What about the shadows claim? There are multiple shadow angles in some of the moon images and there shouldn't be, right? This, according to skeptics, indicates multiple lighting sources when the lunar landing shouldn't have had multiple lighting sources, right? Only the sun was supposed to be the light source. Well, this one you can actually go debunk by yourself. You can take pictures outside on an uneven surface.

The Mythbusters did this on an episode, right? And it took pictures and it shows light anomalies. The shadow argument is connected to the argument over the illuminated of many objects in the Apollo pictures with one light source. Why are there so many shadows? Well, because of the reflective material present in the moon's surface, the light bounces off

of the moon's surface. It's lumpy. It provides a lot of different looking shadows. You know who doesn't have a problem with shadow angles and photos taken in the moon? Professional photographers. If they're not constantly pointing out that the shadows in the moon are fucked up and fake looking, then why do we care what some random jackass in some basement, puttin videos on the internet thinks? Another popular complaint about the authenticity of the photos taken on the moon is that the crosshairs that help frame the picture appear to be

in the background of several pictures. This of course means that some airbrush trickery, right, as the whole fucking space program is a fraud. Now the crosshairs aren't in the background in any of the high definition photos. They do indeed appear to be in the background of a handful of low resolution pictures. This is a pixel issue that is easily debunked

and connects with the next popular claim. One of my favorite claims about the trickery with the moon is that Walt Disney used models to fake many of the beautiful moon shots and that they stapled like down certain props in this set. And I guess there's a few pictures where people think that there's staples on the feet of the astronauts, you know,

they think that like Disney was doing this or something. You know, first they slept penises and sexually in UNDO with their animated films and now they're helping Nixon fake the moon landing. The appearance of staples is again, just a trick of pixels. It doesn't appear in the high definition versions. You know, it wasn't the dude working on Cinderella, airbrush and shit.

Also, in just low five photos who've ever taken a lot of pictures, they just have natural defects in them. You know, there's that. Uh, I've had that many of my own photos, but I probably worked for the Illuminati. Maybe I don't even know about it. Uh, what about the C-shaped rock in one of the photos? Why is there a fucking C in one of the rocks that, huh? Nature doesn't make letters.

Uh, this one is this popular. Why is there a fucking scene in one of the rocks? Is it, huh? Nature doesn't make letters. This one is this popular. It's also easily debunked during the copying process. Somebody lost a hair. It doesn't appear on the original. Sometimes a hair will fall on a photo in a photo lab. Even moon photos, right? The eyelash in your dinner is an assign of a conspiracy and neither is a hair in a photo.

The most popular of the fake photos arguments is the lack of stars. Why can't you see the stars a lot better? Simple technical understanding of how photos are taken debunks this, right, of aperture. To keep the lunar lander and the astronauts in focus in the foreground, the aperture was turned on them and it wasn't able to pick up

the much more faint light sources of the stars. This one's weird to me that anyone has a problem with this. Like have you just never taken a fucking picture? I guess you just don't know how photos work. But I mean, I guess a lot of people don't. They just push the button and the farthest they think. Yeah, so that's ridiculous. There's the conspiracy about the wires, right?

There are the dashboards are clearly on wires. That one comes up a lot. There's even flashes of light that appear to reflect off-set wires and the images of astronauts seemingly being to reflect offset wires and the images of astronauts seemingly being pulled up by wires after falling, you know, which points that it happened on a Hollywood set or in Arizona or area 51, you know, or, you know, Burbank.

This one just devised common sense. Like, let me get this straight. You think NASA took billions of dollars to fake a moon landing, but then left in obvious wires in the pictures. Get the fuck out of here, right? You think they Photoshopped everything else, but they just forgot the wire parts. They operate on a budget of billions of millions of dollars a year, hire some of the brightest minds in the country, but they leave the wires in the photos.

Okay. Another photo related aspect of all this is the man meets moon deniers claimed that the cameras wouldn't have worked on the moon. You know, the extreme temperatures and the absence of an atmosphere to protect the cameras from sunlight would have ruined any chances of getting photos on the moon. And that's if the van Allen belt didn't get him first. That's actually probably why I thought it was important to go over the space race, briefly earlier.

A lot of those early missions were about figuring out cameras in space and how to protect sensitive instruments in the extreme temperature conditions. NASA did have cameras break in earlier missions. Neil even dropped one for future explorers to find a pickup on the moon as we alluded to earlier. Right, the engineers working for NASA thought about protecting the film beforehand. They didn't just set up a send up shitty little Polaroid cameras. Another interesting conspiracy claim comes from the atmospheric makeup of the moon or lactor of that makes the gravity of the moon about one six that Of which it is on earth

This means in theory that an astronaut of 185 pounds would weigh around 30 pounds with the muscle strength Being you know of somebody with a hundred eighty five pounds still And this has you know Many people speculating about or this had Many people back when the moon landing went on speculated about superhuman athletic abilities on the moon right it was thought that a golf ball could be hit over the horizon on the moon in one sixth gravity

uh... the leaps of several feet could be achieved easily people seem to be disappointed when they saw footage from the lunar landing right it was unique but it didn't seem insanely superhuman uh... well part of the reason it didn't is because of the equipment the men wore. Their suits weighed well over 100 pounds. Even if the equipment weighed as much as the men in theory, the 370 pounds should only be about 60 pounds of force on the astronaut. But still, that's more weight.

But also, like, why didn't the astronauts balance even higher than they did? Well, probably because they didn't want to die. You know, they weren't interested in jumping very high because, you know, if they're suit tears, if they fuck up and hurt themselves, if they crack their helmet, you know, they're going to just suffocate or die of decompression on the moon, right? And like in this environment,

what kind of jackass is just gonna be carelessly flinging his body around? I'll tell you what kind of idiot of the internet, a person lacking the educational and overall intellectual understanding to realize that doing so would be extremely reckless and stupid. Yeah, if you put some fucking hillbilly up there, look at, look at, look at, I can jump. How honomone!

Fucking crack, air, dead. Speaking of idiots, let's check in with them before continuing to examine even more insane conspiratorial lunar notions. I promised a big ittts of the internet last week. I hope you feel like I'm delivering with this one. The video we looked at today was posted by the Discovery Channel back in 2008 when they were focused on science and not on dramatic reality shows like naked and afraid and gold rush. The video is called Top 5 Moon Mission Bluepers, almost 200,000 views, over 1200 comments.

It's a quick video. Just over 2.5 minutes long, it features bloopers from the final two Apollo missions and the bloopers aren't very funny. It's not a funny video, just actually not singing songs or saying dead gummit, literally saying, dead gummit. When they have a hard time picking up something and they fall down. The comments though beneath the video to me very funny, right? There's gold in these here threads pure monochromechidia gold.

Trog 12 posts NASA and some fraction of the shadow government knew that the internet's fast growing capabilities would soon expose all that is wrong with the Apollo program and the so-called moon landing. So what do they do? Yes, they orchestrated diversion and thus enters the flat earth agenda. It has infested and subverted the one highly appreciated conspiracy theorist movement said. Wow, you've gone deep, buddy. Do you hear what this jackass is saying?

That NASA invented the flat earth conspiracy theory to discredit fake moon landing conspiracy theorists Right, so people would take them last seriously. Holy shit This dude definitely has a room with some sort of fucking pegboard situation It's got strings running between different images, you know Just can just paranoid is shit. All makes sense. Okay. Okay. They fake the moon landing and get away with it and tell the internet comes along. Okay. Okay. Okay. Then when they read a few comments, they think, okay. They think, okay. I connect this quick. Come up with a diversion. Okay.

Let's make flatter videos. If they find out we fake the moon landing, they're surely going on to cover the illuminati. Okay, so we gotta come up with some more shit. We need to start making lizard illuminati videos to get people to stop taking the real illuminati seriously. Gotta throw them off track. We gotta start talking about a new world order layer underneath the Denver airport, right?

Throw them off the center of the real layer underneath area 51. Talk about the bohemian growth. Talk about the ego. Take some of the heat off the builder burgers smoke and mirrors smoke Em airs You know Fucking crazy people are fucking great and in three three three posts an expedivant sanity now they have blurry pictures of a black hole which is

More bullshit how about a pick of the u.s on the moon? I love how he's upset about the fucking photo definition from the from the black hole. It's 55 million light years away, you shit bird. It's going to be hard to get a solid focus. Also, you know why we can't see the flag clearly now because it is, it's not building in the wind, right? Because there is no wind. We explain that. It's not really photo-ready. What make lip reference here? Let's feel like Shota Tiga Tila. Why say it's not photo-ready? Why poke fun a shamecock?

What does it mean to be the shamecock? And maybe loss of space rates. The real reason they not have a hard pride. Hmm. Neuch post next, somebody named, user named Neuch. Nobody's ever been to the moon, Jack. So what do you mean back

to the moon? Disinfo agent alert. And this comments and reference to the bloopers coming from later Apollo moon landing missions, right? But what I wonder is like, if this guy doesn't believe we've ever been to the moon, why is he focusing on the words back to? Right? If you, if you don't think we've ever been to, then the whole video is a disinfo agent alert. Uh, user chief, John Paulson posts next. And since he's misspelled the word chief in his username, it's like, she, uh, I don't expect anything smart. He writes, they forgot how to go back to the moon with 60s technology. What a crock. I urge you all to look into the actual truth that they never

went at all and can't ever go because it's impossible. Wow, can't ever go. Has sheaf, not seen how quickly technology around him advances, can't ever go. I hope someone someday sends him a postcard from Mars. Save life post next. It's comical how fake this is. He got dragged by the cables attached to his harness yet everything else remained stationary. I watched the video and nope. Daddy old nine thirty then post we never went to the moon. Why? Because all the elements in the periodic table can be found in solar flares. That would include radioactive elements. Apollo 12 would have had to fly through solar flares for 12 plus hours. That is impossible with our technology now.

So they couldn't have done it then. That level of radiation would have fried in like a hot dog in a microwave oven. What are you talking about? Daddy, you don't know anything about technology. Can't do it because of solar flares? Can't ever go. Case closed, right?

I picture Daddy O930 high-fiving, Chief John Paulson after this comment. Ha ha, told you, bro, not ever. Pa. So, apparently, every single employee of every space program in the world is either too dumb to possess daddyos insightful understanding of solar flares. And they just futilely continue to do, you know, what literally impossible, or their liars in bed with the Illuminati. Daddy-O has zero critical thinking skills.

Fucking so, they're not sitting up there in tank tops. That's Space-O's on. User Todd Peachy is a man of few words. He posts, only fools believe that we ever went to the moon. Research it. You research it, Todd, you fucking half-wit. Read books with big words that are clearly hard for you to understand when you do. Words like astronomy and aeronautics and college doctorate. Stop getting all your science info from conspiracy

forms. Only fools believe. What a fool believe. A man man dead step on a moon. That was not a plan. Michael McDonald, I just fucking came out of my soul. Dave Sins clearly doesn't know fucking anything about the moon or space or science, but that doesn't stop him from confidently posting the following. You miss a step or trip over and land on a sharp rock your suit will explode. Or burst out killing you in a few seconds. Yet they are skipping and singing like there's absolutely no imminent danger. The reason because they're not on the moon. Also the extreme outward pressure would make it very difficult to move inside a blown up balloon. How do you close your

hands and take pictures and manipulate small tools, too many questions and no answers? Wow, too many questions is right, Dave. Where do I start? You miss a step and your suit will explode? What are you talking about? Move inside a blown up balloon? Have you ever seen an astronaut suit?

I mean, you do know that it's not actually made out of the same material as a kid's cheap party balloon, right? You can handle a sharp rocker to you, Jackass. How do you think they didn't think of that? Why would they ever send astronauts to space and suits that would tear like a cheap saran wrap with the first contact with a sharp rock? And how would a leak explode them? Someone who wrote their username and Arabic posts, and I just, it's not English letters,

so I don't know how to say, where the fuck is Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin? Shouldn't they, shouldn't they be on TV every year to celebrate this historical event? Media give them too much exposure, no, media give much exposure to prostitutes and whores, more than those legendary quote unquote, astro knots, but spelled astro and then dash knots and OTS, astro knots. Well Neil died in 2012. So it's going to be hard for him to make appearances. Buzz is very, very old and they're astro knots, not Instagram celebrities. They don't give a shit about going on TV now, right? They're not going on TV every year in no way proves the landing was faked. I don't even know. It's getting harder and harder to even understand what these some of these idiots are talking

about. It's harder to just to connect to their ideas. Just what the fuck are you even talking about? User, Nikuru posts, the moon is now what we think. There are already humans or aliens out there. I don't think space is what we think. What are you even talking about, Nick Arou? Nick Arou?

That's cute. Thanks for stopping by. I want you to go sit at the kids table. Use a Robert Thayer post. I find it amusing that many people think that those of us who know the moon landings were a hoax think we are delusional idiots. Yep.

But are unwilling to look at the obvious inconsistencies and make a judgment. Nope. We look. We're just fucking smarter than you. I thought the moonlands were real until I grew up and educated myself and realized they are not. Oh, Robert, Robert, Robert. I think you have the words,

educated myself, confused with the phrase, stop listing to all credible scientists and other academics. How the fuck do you look into this and come up with your conclusions? It's so easy to debunk this fucking conspiracy. Chev 4206 posts some anti-American hate writing, it is staggering that so many people believe this moon landing crap when the fallacy of it is so obvious and inescapable.

For fuck's sake, you stupid unintelligent Americans, wake the fuck up. Your government has been fooling you in the world for decades, and their last pathetic effort was on 11th of September, 2001. And what are you doing about it? Watch Digital TV, eating shit in McDonald's, thinking then for protecting you, sitting back and doing fuck all, paying tax. I love so many calls to wake the fuck up and look at the truth without a single link to the truth or any evidence of how the users become woke.

These people are all the same. These conspiracy, they're all the same, right? They just fucking sit in a little vacuum, right? Little echo chamber with their other idiot friends and share the same stupid ideas and none of them have a fucking clue how science works. They got right, their sources never linked to any credible scientists or academics, just other fucking dipshits on yoga mats

with fucking crystals. Oh man, the sad fuck wouldn't last one minute in a legitimate intellectual argument. Okay, hey chef, how is it so obvious that the moon landing was fake? Are you serious? Open your eyes, puppet. My eyes are open, chef, and my ears. Why don't you give me some proof?

Just point me to some real proof. That's all around you. Why don't you wake up? Get your third eye open for a change. Please point me to something specific, Chef. Would you point me to anything specific? It was an inside job, man. The moon, Chef, focus on the moon. There, The moon chef focus on the moon. They're, ah, the suits would have, would have exploded. The solar flares think about the solar flares. How would solar flares explode their suits?

What do you, do you have an understanding of solar flare issue? I will talk about it anymore. Just please let me yell shit. I never have to back up with careful thoughts and research, research arguments and detailed explanations. You're making my samples so angry father. All your questions make it want to put your kiddies head on a stick. I don't know. I don't know why Ed camper came up there where he did. User kid junior 27 brings Satan into the thread to close out

today's it is the internet because you know what fucking why not Satan hasn't showed up let's bring him in here. He posts this new the news is owned by satanic beans one lie leads to a million lies and these scum have new lies all the time the thing is they don't care look at the chemtrel issue they got people so brainwashed that they're still arguing over if they're real or not frowny face. It's like living in a nightmare wide awake while everyone else is sleeping. Think for one second what great knowledgeable things could be on TV and what do they put on instead? crime war hate drugs

You know what kid junior 27? I'm gonna agree with you. It is like living in a nightmare. It's like being wide awake in a nightmare I'm gonna agree with you. It is like living in a nightmare. It's like being wide awake in a nightmare Sometimes it feels to me like I'm just living in a nightmare where I am continually surrounded by a growing army of superstitious ignorant overly confident paranoid delusional

mindless fucking idiots of the internet of the internet. I will say those idiots in the internet man, they make me appreciate time suckers. Woo wee. Thank God there are meat zacks. We do not think these things. Now let's get back to examining theories. I just a little bit more. A little bit more thought out than the comments I just mocked.

But well, maybe not. The Van Allen Belt. Let's talk about that. Keep mentioning that one of those popular and what appears to be, to many, as a moon, hoax truth or idea of a smoking gun is the Van Allen radiation belt. Discovered by professional people studying space after they explored space, the truth was claimed that no human could in no way survive the effects of the belt's high levels of radiation

turns out they can. As proven by all the people that went to the moon and came back, not from just the US, but from the USSR. People surviving. Many people living long healthy lives, including the lively buzz Aldrin, as we learn, punch the truth or in the face when he was in the 70s. The Van Allen radiation bell isn't an issue. It was overlooked by the engineers of space programs.

The effects have been studied, precautions have been taken, the results are humans can survive the belt, when wearing suits built to shield the wear from the harmful effects of radiation. What about computers, right? How could 1969 technology send a man to the moon? This one comes up in a lot of documentaries and a lot of comments sections across the internet.

The Apollo spaceship had the computing power of a modern calculator. How could it do it? Well, because it had enough computing power to fucking get someone into space, right? Because they did it. That's how they did it. This one debunks itself.

The Apollo missions were carried out during a time when hairier jets were being introduced to the military theater. The Concord's supersonic planes were being introduced to the masses. There were plenty of known eyewitnessed, extremely powerful, miraculous technology already existing in 1969. It's not like the earth was full of people drawn pictures on fucking cave walls with charcoal or some shit, fire, good, look at space shuttle. It's not like we were

doing that one day and then the next day we're sending juice to the moon. There was a lot of other provable technology existing. Let's talk about footprints. There's no water on the moon. How could there be footprints on the moon? Some skeptics say that Neil's famous footprints couldn't exist because footprints require water and eventually nature will dry it up and wipe it away.

In other words, we are used to earth where there is weather. On earth? Yeah, a footprint can disappear in days or sooner. However, there is no weather on the moon, no rain, no wind, no liquid, no living things to muck it up. The only thing we know of that moves the particles of the surface of the moon are impacts from space objects. So footprint argument easily debunked. The moon landing never happened because NASA itself is a fake. There's that argument, you know, and that sadly is a fairly popular theory. NASA is just some evil cabal filled with illuminati puppets.

A lot of different strains of the moon landing truthers, you know, seem to agree that NASA's comprised of line traders to the human race, everything they say or do is a lie. At the root of this NASA's fake theory is the idea that space, that the space agency is really a propaganda arm for either the not space program or the super secret space program. Again, a lot of, a lot of pathways to follow here in the loony, uh, tune land. Um, I, I think this one debunks itself propaganda was, was definitely a major force during the Cold War. The US government spent truckloads, the taxpayers money to sell those same taxpayers.

It was a, uh, the, the taxpayers' money to sell those same taxpayers, the idea of the space race was really cool, that it was super important, that it was unpatriotic to disagree with any of it, but a conspiracy with that many people who all have to tell the same lie doesn't line up with human nature. We as a species have proven over and over again, not great at keeping secrets. NASA, not actually existing, is way too big of a secret for so many people to keep. Now, here's a fun one. Nazis on the moon. This is my favorite conspiracy theory. One of the craziest moon hoax theories is that Nazis began their space program in Germany

in 1942. They built a small base on the far side of the moon. The theory goes that after World War II, Hitler and several of his officers escaped persecution by first heading to South America, then to a secret and a Arctic base, then straight to the moon, and some kind of exo-atmospheric rocket saucer. Impressive and highly illogical. Let me get this straight. They couldn't build an atomic bomb to win World War II But they could build a spaceship and a fucking secret base in Antarctica They could launch a spaceship from Antarctica and fly to the moon and stay there and live there

How to grown-ups who are not legitimately meant extremely mentally ill Believe in something this fucking stupid. I honestly don't understand it. A Bulgarian author and self-reclaimed engineer and physicist named Vladimir Tissersky is the main voice behind this theory, a wackadoodle alert. The Nazi moon theory also asserts that Hitler's colonies on the moon,

this is even better, were responsible for the mass sightings of UFOs in the 40s and 50s. Right? Those weren't flying saucers with aliens in them, spotted out. Right, those weren't flying saucers with aliens in them spotted all over the country. They were flying saucers with Nazis in them. You know, just checking shit out, fucking with us.

Messing with nuclear missile silos, abducting people and cattle and you know, impregnating redneck women. That's so deliciously insane. This theory also explains whether, whether the US and Russia abruptly discontinued their efforts to visit the moon, why there was a brief two minute pause and the Apollo 11 transmissions. During that time Neil Armstrong and Buzz apparently had to negotiate and or fight with Nazis, space Nazis, in two minutes.

Hail Nimrod! What a great scene in some crazy Nazi moon based movie that would be. Also even better, apparently the Nazis didn't just build bases on the surface of the moon, they burrowed holes down into the moon where they where they live today My god Another rabbit hole in which to amble is the idea of the hollow moon and his dirt fuck buddy cousin the artificial moon They both kind of insinuate the same thing that our moon either Has or has had cities and people living and working within it

either has or has had cities and people living and working within it. This theory splinters into different moon landing related threads. Some artificial moon folks believe that the moon was built by ancient alien travelers. Right, some ancient Samarians, ancient astronauts, you know, before recorded time, the reference writing from various places like African tribes, more obscure pastures, some old Roman Greek and Hebrew texts, including the Bible. These writings all reference the time before the moon. They even talk of ancient sky gods bringing the moon with them from far away to watch over and study mankind. This goes back to David Ike, Lizard Illuminati thing.

It's this moon matrix base. Some of these theorists, you know, asserted the moon landing couldn't have happened because aliens were already there. You know, there's military forces occupying the hollow moon that wouldn't let them on the moon. Other theorists I discovered online seem to believe at least asserts the moon landing did happen. And whoever occupies the moon met with Neil and Buzz. Wait, I guess they waved at Michael.

This accounts for some lost time in the broadcast. This theory expands to claim flying saucers had to be airbrushed at several official national photos. No idea where this source material comes from, just rabbit holes that disappear into more rabbit holes that bend into the giant whack of due to wormholes. Okay, now back to a more, dare I say, realistic proof, I guess, to more proof of Moonhoek's theory. The original footage made on the high-quality cameras designed for the Apollo missions have been lost. So this is troublesome. What happened to the footage? Well, NASA admits in 2006 that no one could find theaw television processing for the ground, uh,

for the, uh, for the Apollo 11 mission went looking for this footage. Uh, the good news is he was able to discover what happened to the tapes. The bad news is they were for sure lost. They were part of a batch of 200,000 tapes that were magnetically erased and reused to save money. So fuck, I mean, that does suck. Uh, and why would you not put those tapes in a very secure place? You know, maybe mark them with first man to land on the moon, never erase. Maybe make a thousand copies. I mean, that is a bad, it's a big mistake. But does a big bad mistake equal the cover-up? No, it doesn't. That's a conspiracy-minded paranoid brain thinking. How many times have you lost

something important? Right? I did regate my kids' birth certificates because I fucking lost them. Left a minute of five-fold or somewhere, it's lost them. How many times have you fucked something up? It was important. Me so many times.

I missed the start of the vacation because I left my passport and I did at home. Right? That's fairly important. Funny how when we as individuals make mistakes, we rationalize as just being human, but when a big organization does it, they're hiding something. Another aspect of original footage that conspiracy theorists feast over is how come the entire event wasn't broadcast directly to the public. Well, here's NASA's explanation

of that. For audio, there were private channels between Apollo astronauts and the Houston Control Center, plus the actual video of the event was filmed and sent to earth This is whole convolut process Because of the unique kind of film made to withstand extreme weather conditions It was in shown on the screen and filmed by a TV camera for over a half billion You know people watching across the globe to see You know conspiracy theorists suggest that the darkened images were necessary to hide the truth the reality is they had to They had to film the projection of the original film because TV stations weren't equipped

to technologically to play the footage directly. You know, they wanted to make sure that they had a kind of a nice little highlight chunk to show people. I found in my research that it actually painted the creators of the special Apollo camera to see the live footage because they knew that their original footage was clear and brighter. And there's so many other theories. There's so many misunderstood details that have oozed into the world as little bits of intellectual diarrhea. It's difficult to pick which claims to cover. I mean, there's secret Navy intelligence space programs

to ancient Egyptian astronauts, the financial claims, the flat earth bunch. I mean, this stuff's all over the conspiracy map. You want free masons, they're there. See, you know, CIA shit for sure. Men in black cover ups, political assassinations, hidden technology cover-ups. Yep, it's all there. It's all a big onion of a topic. You can just keep peeling

and peeling and peeling. Many moon troopers I've stumbled upon believe President JFK was assassinated due to his knowledge of secret moon bases, aliens, other shit that makes no sense. Rather than redundantly go over all of that, I want to just answer two more questions. Why haven't we gone back to the moon? And does the science community today agree that it was for sure possible to travel to the moon? Well, according to NASA, part of the reason we haven't gone back to the moon

is a case of been there, done that. Back in 2009, John Olson, the director of NASA's exploration systems, missions, directorate integration office said, there is much more than flags. This is much more than flags and footsteps. We're going for a sustained human presence in space. So they want to go bigger next time, a lot bigger.

Chris Hadfield, a former astronaut, recently backed up to a sentiment telling business inside in 2018, a permanent human research station on the moon is the next logical step. It's only three days away, you know, like from art. We get afford to get it wrong and not kill everybody. And we have a whole bunch of stuff we have to invent and then test in order to learn before we can go deeper out. But a sustained human presence on the moon will be very, very, very, very expensive.

Based on a variety of estimates, from a variety of super nerdy tech sites, it would cost anywhere from $35 billion to, well, you know, much more than $100 billion to build a moon base because it's a staying human life. And then it's going to cost billions and billions and billions dollars to upkeep it every year. That's a lot of money to get political support for. I mean, Trump's controversial border wall that's criticized for a variety of reasons,

but one is expense, you know, it would cost an estimated 25 billion to build for comparison sake. The Apollo program, by the way, cost about 120 billion in today's dollars, but we weren't in as nearly as much national debt in 1969 as we are today. In 1969, we were $354 billion in debt. Our debt to gross domestic product ratio, the GDP being the kind of a good overall measurement of the size of a nation's economy was 35%. That's our debt to GDP ratio, 35%. Our debt equal 35% of our annual gross domestic product. This year, our debt is approximately $22 trillion. Our debt to GDP ratio is a scary 106%. We have more overall debt than the gross domestic product for the whole country for a year.

Why are we hustling to get back to the moon? We're fucking broke. We're more than broke. We have trillions out on credit cards. When will we get back? Probably when we have more money. I want a private company like SpaceX does it. I want some other country with more money like China does it.

And finally, is it scientifically possible? Yes, and it was. That's the short answer. Yes, yes, yes, yes. The long answer, and this is where a lot of conspiracies I think come from, is it's a lot of just high concept of math. You know, a math that is above my pay grade,

math that is above the pay grade of all of these conspiracy theorists. And if it's above yours, too, just think of this. Why has it one high profile mathematician or scientist ever said that it was impossible to do in 1969? Why didn't Stephen Hawking say before he died? No way, there's no way that could happen. No one credible has ever said that.

And that alone should be all the provological person needs. People like Alex Jones and David Ike are all the proof of logical person needs. People like Alex Jones and David Ike are on one side of this argument. The world's entire scientific community is on the other. It's like I said in the beginning, man, it's great to have an open mind, but don't open it so wide that your fucking brain falls out. You know, in conclusion to me, we landed on the fucking moon. The thought that it is a hoax has been debunked over and over and over again in a variety of ways. You know, I finished research for the suck last Thursday night here in Cordelaine.

And as I did, I was up a little late and it was kind of a nice night out. There was a great big beautiful moon in the sky, just one night away from being a full moon. It was so vivid, it almost looked fake. I could see with my naked eyes so clearly, because he's a lot of the shadows of the craters and such. And I just, and I did have this thought, you know, I thought, how sad is it? That some people just cannot appreciate its natural beauty. You know, that they think it's something the fairest instrument of mind control instead of the beautiful celestial body that it actually is. How sad that the world does truly have so much pain in it,

so much suffering, and then some of us have to invent even more pain and suffering. Instead of just, you know, taking a moment, staring up at a majestic, sunlit orb, and letting go of the rest of the world just for a few moments. I stare at the moon, I think of it, I get a little emotional, I actually do. I think of the countless others who have stared

at the same wondrous space rock, Shakespeare, a little emotional, I actually do. I think of the countless others who have stared at the same wondrous space rock. Shakespeare, Cleopatra, Alexander the Great, you know, kings and queens, mothers and fathers, leaders and peasants, titans of industry, poets, painters, musicians, you know, Kirk O'Bain, Chris Cornell, they're looking at it. Anyone from a history you've ever admired who is blessed with the gift of sight at one time or another in all likelihood,

stared at that big breath taking rock and awe and had some special moment. So moment when they were living, breathing, meat sack, just like you are right now, I stare and I feel connected to humanity. Going back to the beginning, whenever that was, I think of all those who will live long, long after I'm gone, who will stare at the same moon. The same moon sailors stared at when they cross the sea as Vikings Spaniards, you know or just some elderly couple holding hands on a cruise, you know, it's fucking beautiful and

We've been there. How inspiring is that? We stepped on the fucking moon You know there's meat sack DNA some meat sack DNA infused body You know, there's meat sack DNA, some meat sack DNA infused body. You know, was inside of a suit that was walking around on the moon, looking out at space in a whole new, never-be-seen way. How incredible. What an example of what we can do is a species when we, when we point a sea of powerful minds and brave souls towards the same seemingly impossible goal. We can accomplish what seems impossible. It makes me think about what we can do with

enough time and hard work, what we can accomplish, you know, going forward. But some just can't think that man, they can't add to productivity, they can't push society forward. They got to try and hold us back. They got to smugly look up at it and shake their heads and just think, pfft, dumb. Never happened. Not even real. Nice try, NASA. Why do I do that? Life is short, me, sex. Don't diminish what precious little time you have here by being a paranoid fucking asshole. Time now for top five takeaways.

Time, suck, top five takeaways. Number one, the space race was a huge contributor to modern technology. As I mentioned, there are dozens of not hundreds and hundreds of everyday items that enhance our lives that were developed by and for space travel, for modern medical technology, to advance transportation and communications equipment, and the finest mattress billions of nineteen sixty-nine dollars can buy. Number two, there are literally dozens of theories regarding moon trickery.

We covered several of the obvious ones and a few of the obscure. And my favorite is that Nazis launched a shuttle from Antarctica, set up a base on the moon, and then flew spaceships around the US, 1950s. Yeah, just to fuck with Americans. People alive now, actually believe that, it's terrifying. Number three, the real winner of the space race

was humanity. The high stakes contest was East versus West at the beginning, but would become a massive step towards human solidarity and cooperation in the end. By the end of the moon missions, two countries along with other participating nations will tear down their imaginary boundaries, eventually turn space exploration and study

into a true international fair that we continue to pursue today. Pretty good ending, right? Russians, US astronauts in the same space station. Number four, the astronauts and cosmonauts of our short history in space were some of the most amazingly capable intelligent humans we as a species have ever possibly produced. Men and women of high integrity and great achievement came together to make the goal of humans walking on multiple celestial bodies a reality.

These space heroes were so feisty and strong, right? Even over 70 buzz, mother fucking Aldrin was willing to knock a bastard in his face for the space cause. Love it so much. And number five, new info. What are NASA's most current plans regarding the moon? Like, what are they really? We kind of touched on that a little bit ago, you know?

And I did say it depends on budgetary considerations, but thoughts are being tossed around that are pretty cool, you know, right now in 2019, just two months ago, in Valentine's Day, February 14th, Jim, Rydinstein, NASA's administrator told reporters he hoped to have astronauts back up there by 2028. NASA currently plans to build a small space station dubbed Gateway, put it into the Moon's orbit by 2026. It'll serve as a way station for trips to and from the lunar surface Before this manned program this next with NASA is also pushing to send scientific instruments and other technological tools to the moon in 2020

NASA's accelerated plans flesh out of the space policy directive that Trump signed in December 2017 In in business at envisioning a return to the moon before manned mission to Mars possibly in the 2030s. He also added that the next time they touchdown on the lunar surface, the plan is to build a base, right? Saying when we go to the moon, we're actually going to stay. We're not going to leave flags and footprints,

and then come home and not go back for another 50 years. And I bet when that base, excuse me, when that base is Sunday built, humans are actually living on the moon. There will still be other humans living down here who still will not believe we have even ever been there. Time suck. Top five take away.

We did it. We landed on an episode about landing on the moon. I just planted a time suck flag in the floor of the suck dungeon to mark that occasion. Fun suck. I hope you liked it. It was fascinating to me. Big thanks to the time suck team.

Thanks to the queen of the suck Lindsey Cummins. High priest to the suck harmony of Ella Cam. Jesse Gardy and of grammar dobner, Reverend Dr. Joe Paisley, time suck high priest Alex Duggan, the guys at BiddleLixer, danger brain, access to peril. Thanks to the Lily twins, hammers, hammers and knowledge for kicking off the research

this week. Huge thanks again to the new full time suck dungeon employee and head of research Zach Flannery for his help. Still need a proper nickname for him. It's gonna come. I can't rush it. Extra special huge thanks to time sucker space lizard, Zach Stevens, out of Leroy Wyoming, who runs Mountain Edge Design, Zach made a custom heavy duty metal and wood

stand for my iPad. So I can hit the segment and intro buttons, right? Without a knock in my iPad around, I can do it much more smoothly so we can record straight through, not have to stop. He made it for the secret suck, where he used a lot of buttons. And it's been a lifesaver, so thank you, Zach. If you haven't already done so, check out the Coal to the Curious Private Facebook group online, over 8,000 members now, over 2,000 members on Discord,

linked to both in the episode description, and you can also link to Discord in the app. Next week, we travel back to New Orleans. Love it. I wish I was traveling there in real life. Madam Delphine Lallori, born in New Orleans in 1787. Back when it was Nueva, Orleans, Orleans, during the Spanish colonial period,

Delphine married three times Louisiana, was twice widowed. She maintained her position in New Orleans society until April 10th, 1834, when rescuers responded to a fire at a Royal Street mansion. Seeing this mansion, I walked past it on a New Orleans ghost tour, supposed to be one of the most haunted places in that supposedly very haunted city, it did creep me the hell out. And apparently, it's creeped out a lot of owners over the years. Nicholas Cage, from Wackadoodle actor,

bought the house, talked on Letterman about how his own family members had no interest in spending the night there. It's not sure if he even spent the night there before a bank repossessed it in 2009. He'd only bought it in 2007. A lot of people think it's cursed. The mansion has served as a high school music

and observatory bar, furniture store, empty tenement, and apartment building. Almost every inhabit it moved out within months or suffered tragedy and death. And it's supposedly cursed because of a bunch of really, really evil shit that Madame Delphine supposedly did in that mansion a long, long time ago when rescuers responded to that 1834 fire they discovered bound slaves and her attic who showed evidence of unbelievably cruel violent abuse that had happened in them over a long period of time.

Lotta Reece House was subsequently then sacked by an outrage mob of New Orleans citizens. Think about how bad the abuse had to have been for the public to become outraged over the treatment of slaves in 1834. For American Horror Story fans, the incredible actress Kathy Bates, one of my favorite horror actresses of all time,

Misery Anyone, portrayed a fictionalized version of Delphine in the 2013 third season and also in the 2018 eighth season. Hearing about Lollary on that ghost tour and the third season of America Horror Story what made me move this topic up to turn into a suck. It's a dark one next week, dark and different, I hope you like it.

Now let's get a little lighter. And then emotionally emotionally a lot heavier As we dive into this weeks Possibly tear jerking time sucker updates All right, well, we'll start off with a non-emotional one start off with the Vikings update coming in from Josh house Tom sucker Hello, Nimrod. Hello Dr. Suckington mixed sucker face. My name is Josh. I'm an Indiana sucker and only and as of a few weeks ago and honorary space lizard. Well hello space lizard. I'm also a massive nerd term

of endearment for Vikings Norris and old Scandinavian history. I wanted to write you about when in a when I was listening the episode 135 Vikings suck yesterday and you mentioned twice that Vikings is worn horned helmets. I know that every other Viking loving sucker myself included cringed and thought about writing to correct you. I could almost hear their size of relief from later in the episode you stated that in fact the Vikings did not wear any head ear with protruding horns to a to a yeah in that combat situation. So I instead I decided to write and tell you have fan fucking task time so I guess I love

every episode I've heard as well as the Secret Suck and all the awesome features that come with being a space lizard. Please keep up with you and the team are doing it. Keep on sucking, baby. Ah, thanks Josh, you keep on sucking. And I did get some other emails about that, the horn mentioned.

The sad thing is, I mean, I know it correctly, but the sad thing is it was written in my notes in the whole suck that they didn't have horns on the helmets. Two separate researchers verified that, but the stereotype of a horned Viking is so serious into my brain that I just forced it back in. I just threw that detail back in. Yeah, thank you for the kind words and keep on sucking, Spaceless.

Got another Vikings update from Time Sucker, Ethan Turner, another not-in-emotional one. Ethan writes, a vast Dearest Suck Master, I'm writing this as I'm listening Ethan Turner. Another not on the emotional one. Ethan writes, a vast dearest suck master, I'm writing this as I'm listening to the Viking suck on my Monday, which happens to be a Wednesday. And I have something to add about the hygiene habits that you talked about the Vikings having. When you mentioned the Vikings were considered cleaner

than most folks at the time due to many supposedly bathing at least once a week, you also mentioned that some other European royalty would bathe once a month. Well history has shown that that may be a bit of a generous estimate. Well, I'm not 100% sure about the time frame. And many European countries in the medieval era, being nude in any capacity was considered bad or sinful from the perspective of the church. Okay. So bathing would be avoided at all costs by royalty. A fine example being King Louis XIV, who supposedly only bathed twice in his life. That's what God wanted.

God wanted him to be filthy. And Queen Isabella of Spain bragged that she'd only bathed twice once when she was born, once when she was married, fucking gross. On top of that, the way we treat influencers like the Kardashians, if the king or queen was doing it, then the folks at the bottom considered it, you know, the popular thing to do. And thusly opted out of bathing themselves as well. An example of this is the king does it or the example of this, the king does it so we should to mentality was when the aforementioned king Louis XIV develops an anal Feshula, an opening between the anal canal and the external skin. Oh my god. Typically in the perineal area, basically an extra butthole.

Many of the lower class, many women alike would bondage their, or bandage their asses and pretend to have an analficiala themselves because the king had one. It's kind of like if Kim Kardashian seemed different, potentially having an infected zit on her forehead and kept a bandit on it. Teenage girls would start putting bandits on their foreheads.

But enough dirty, fun facts. I love what you do. I love this community. I've gotten to grow with sense of start and I can't wait to see what our not so little anymore cult will go in the near future. My name rod bless you every day. My lucid peanut keeper, sold three hands from your holy work. And may Bojangles stay his, keep his jaws away from your moshmouth, Nick.

Oh, and keep on sucking. from your moshmouth, Nick. Oh, and keep on sucking. Oh, wow, man, such great info. Your history was so gross oftentimes, wasn't it? And thanks for your kind words. Too bathed in a life. Ugh! Oral sex had to have been less common back then, right?

I'm not immediately where my mind goes. Or I guess you just get used to the stink. And that anal fascia, that is ridiculous. Copying that because of the king, how strange can we meet Saksby? That with strange notions we have in our heads. Now a moderately emotional one, and a very, very cool one. One of the best updates I feel like we've ever gotten. This is an incredible cult update

that speaks to the growing power of the cult of the curious. And it makes my heart so happy. An anonymous sucker wrote, dear master suck of the cult of the curious. And it makes my heart so happy. In anonymous sucker wrote, dear master suck, Lord of all the sucks. My name is Ray Taylor. I'm using a fake name because the information I'm sharing with you. So this is not the real name.

And I grew up in a doomsday cult for most of my life. My parents left their Christian faith in 1997 and started to follow the current leader of the church I grew up in. In 2001, a group of ex-christians created this cult. It's called and then blank, you know, please don't share this. When I was seven years old, I was taught that our leader was God becoming, and that the world as we knew it would end in an apocalypse.

At first we believed that it would be a massive natural disaster, but this changed the ideas of nuclear war, martial law, even human zombies. I'm not joking. Every family had their own gardens and farm animals and every summer we would can up all of the food for survival one day. The youth learned how to kill and clean animals, shoot guns and other survival skills.

Meanwhile, we were going to public school, watching television and having Christmas parties like other normal children. We were told not to tell anyone about what we believed in and what we were preparing for. I cannot explain the emotional burden of believing that the entire world was ending and not being able to tell your friends, teachers, and other family members about it, but I'd live this over and over again, believing that the next time the world really would end, because I kept, you know,

I'm sure changing the date. My leader was never wrong about the times and dates. We were just too selfish or too preoccupied in the world for it to end. It was always our fault, and I believed it. I was a child, and I believed I was a terrible person for not wanting the world to end. When I became an adult, all of the youth that my church had left this cult, including my younger brother. He desperately tried to get me to come with him,

but I refused at the time and began to become more intense about my faith in church responsibilities. I became a teacher for the women of my church and began to try to convince others to seek my faith. This intensity and secrecy cost me countless friendships and my boyfriend. But to me, I believed they were turning away from some sort of truth in that they would die.

Then in December 2017, my brother told me to start listening to a great podcast called Time Suck, created by our favorite comedian, Dan Cummins. I was obsessed immediately and binged almost every episode except the ones about religious cults. My brother implored me to look into these episodes and to listen to them with an open mind. When I refused my brother offered to listen to it together,

we chose to listen to the Jonestown massacre Jim Jones cult episode. I remember you saying you couldn't understand why these people would continue to follow a man who was so crazed and clearly lying to them. when suddenly my brother stood up and shouted at his iPhone, okay, well you weren't there man. We both looked at each other, stunned at this outburst, but then started to laugh hysterically because something had finally clicked for us, but especially for me.

We had not chosen our childhood because no one gets to choose how they are raised. We had just been part of it and none of it was our fault at all. Suddenly, I had a new way of looking at the world and I started to think critically of everything I'd believed in feared my whole life. I spilled everything to my boyfriend who was surprised but told me he still loved me for who I was and said that I should leave. I came to my leader and told him I did not want to be a teacher anymore than I was leaving the church and he paused and replied casually, I didn't think you would last this long.

My parents were devastated when I told them I was leaving our church, but now luckily, we have come to a healthy understanding that we are different people and want different things. I had let this cult control me for so long, but now I'm pursuing a bachelor's in history and I love the study evolution in genetics. I'm also planning my wedding for 2020,

and of course I'm a space that I love to spread the word of the suck. I know this is long, but you are willing to give a shout out. Oh, but are you willing to give a shout out to my brother, J.R.D. also a fake name, but he will know. He's your biggest fan and loves you and has been listening to your comments since he was a child. He was only 20 when you last came to our city and wasn't able to see you.

So the shout out would mean so much to him. Thank you for pushing the boundaries and teaching people that the world is bigger than what they believe, than what they've been taught. Keep on sucking, especially on cults, your humble and loyal space lizard, the real queen of cults, just kidding, Lindsey. And then anonymous, you know, and PS, I would be happy to answer any questions you have if you have any. Well, this is incredible. I'm so happy for you. Thank you for sharing this.

And I'm so glad that our Coke could help you get out of yours. You know, I'm sad that I'm sure, you know, to put some strain on the other way, to deal with your parents, but, you know, I'm glad you hear that's getting better already. And you're gonna have such a happier, more fulfilling life. Now, your eyes are open. You can see the real world, you know,

the real beauty the world has to offer. There is still so much pain, but at least you can see it for what it really is the real beauty the world has to offer there is still so much pain But at least you can see it for what it really is now. You're not just waiting for the end. You're living You're really living heel Nimrod you beautiful brave soul Enjoy your new life and you know what J.R.D. Thank you for not giving up on your sister and for giving her a chance at honest happiness and fulfillment Bojangles he might be kind of pern like a happy cat right now. I don't know what I've heard him per before. I know dogs could per. He's fucking loving it.

Keep on sucking. Get that history degree and enjoy being engaged and live a beautiful life. All right, so that's one. Now, now a little quick, funny palant cleanser. Palant cleanser of an update. From time sucker Michael Schmidt who writes, eat their babies, fuck their dead. As I sit at work playing times like on my speaker,

I'm on my own fucking business, this is what plays. This is from the Vikings episode. As my coworker approaches to do some more mail, I'm a post-a worker. So thank you for the awkward stairs. I got from my fellow coworkers who are now concerned for their safety. Hail Odin, Nimrod, and Bo motherfucking jangles.

I love it. Yeah, Hale Odin. Sorry, Michael. Sorry for the awkward stairs. Now a cool update for this is another non-emotional one. This is before the big emotional one. This is an update from a Swedish sucker, Alene Gustafsson, or maybe Gustafsson. Gustafsson, maybe I say that with Alene, Gustafsson.

Alene writes, all Hale, Darth Suck, aka Bojangles, Foots Stool, aka Oliver Siete Suc, I don't know how to say he was written in Swedish. I'm a Sweden on him, huge fan of yours. I think my neighbors think that there is a funny, loud American dude in my apartment, because I play the pot on speakers basically every second I spend a wake there.

Just finished listening to the Viking episode and just wanted to say hilarious, zero offended. We Swedes generally don't have any, don't have like a super patriotic culture, except for our dear right-wing extremists. So we're basically unoffendable in regards to our language and such. That's got to be a super power for you. We don't really like having beef with Norway and Finland, but we do like to make fun of them. One thing is that Norwegians are descendants of jellyfish. And seriously, finish maybe the ugliest, most unsexy language ever. And we Swedes are awesome.

Okay, maybe a tiny bit patriotic. Any who's all, give us a suck in the sweet juice from the teats of knowledge. How does it go to front, seven years? I just fucking guessed it, those letters. Eline. Thank you, Eline. I'm glad it makes me happy to hear about being heard in the land of Odin, in the land

of Thor and Loki. I've been watching Vikings on Amazon Prime by the way. I fucking love it. I hope I make it to your great land one day. And in the meantime, I hope you keep on sucking and keep on not caring. They're like, to do a sweet, it is worth some time to time. And finally, another powerful update. The speaks volumes to our good,

how much good our growing community can do. It comes in from Adam's, Celter, the wonderful Canadian father with a hollow fame like fighter of a son, beautiful boy Jacob, tear a jerk or alert, if you're in a place where you don't wanna cry. I don't think my eyes are gonna be able to stay dry for this.

They didn't last night when I was going over it. I hate crying, especially when it's recorded, but I got to share this. Adam Wright's Suck Master, I don't know how you did it. Took time and effort and coordination that I cannot thank you enough for. I am certain that there are people working for the Suck that helped, yep a lot.

Please, please, please thank them for me. I've said it before, but I'm truly unhonestly blown away by the compassion and warm reception my son's story has received from you and your people. Thank you, Dan, for the donations, the care packages, and all the kindness supportive words. Right? We compiled a bunch of packages and then sent this for Adam and his little boy, Jacob, who's battling cancer. I've enclosed the letter that explains a few thoughts. I'd like everyone who helped us to know if you can, please share it. However, you see fit. But between you and I,

I don't know the future. I have no idea what comes next and I have learned that I control very little, but I do know two things for sure. Firstly, I know that someday down the line, I will pay this kindness forward to some other time-soaker who needs it. I promise. Secondly, I don't know when or where,

but someday I will stand right in front of you, look in the eye, shake your hand to thank you face to face. I promise, don't let the darker timelines you've done make you nervous. I'm not gonna murder you or rape you or anything. I'm a normal human. You'll be fine. Thank you, praiseable jangles, Adam.

And now, here is Adam's letter. I'm just gonna take a quick little sip of water. Gotta get ready, gotta stabilize myself. Ah, Adam writes, sir. Sometimes it takes the right kind of eyes to see a thing, even though it is right in front of you. The healthy wear of crown that only the sick can see. This is in quotations.

Years ago, I had read that quote somewhere else in my life at a different time when I was a different person. It didn't really resonate with me then. Now in the hospital hallways and isolation rooms and the long nighttime drives, it repeats itself in my head over and over. I see those crowns everywhere. It is easy to feel alone during this fight. No immune system means no crowns, or excuse me, no crowds, no public areas, no visitors, no backyard fire pits with neighboring friends, no social life, no one controlled elements, no spontaneity, no, no, no.

You step to the side and watch all that moves past you. You have to ignore it and have to focus on the fight. But there are inevitably moments of feeling isolated and disconnected, feeling alone. Everything is more difficult when you are alone. Pediatric cancer is no different. Nurses and doctors swaggering with their crowns and their advice and their couple minutes of sympathy a week.

Then they are gone and it's just you and this awful thing alone, struggling until one of you gives in. It's easy to lose ground. You have no support. Way too easy. Looking closer, however, it would seem that I am a very special kind of idiot because I believe that we are in this fight alone. I don't know how you did it. You slide bastard. Oh, man. Wow, man, you have made all this. Jesus Christ.

I gotta take a second again. I'm gonna take a little break. I'll take a break from your letter. I'm gonna keep talking about man, man, man. I don't know how you do it, man, with your fucking powerful words. Never been so emotional. I saw it in your letters and years. Jesus Christ, okay. I don't know how you gathered all these amazing people

and created this phenomenal care package for us, but you did it. We came home from yet another draining hospital visit, only to find two giant boxes on our front porch, direct from the fame suck dungeon, ship right to our home. amazing people and created this phenomenal care package for us, but you did it. We came home from yet another draining hospital visit, only to find two giant boxes on our front porch, direct from the famed suckdowns and ship right to our house. Toys, clothing, food, books, stickers, artwork, and letters.

Beautiful heartfelt, unsolicited, amazing letters from time suckers and spaces around the USA to support was unbelievable. So many sweet and wonderful people sent us a giant care package, absolutely guaranteed to keep Jacob warm and safe and entertained and supported through whatever comes next for us. It is impossible to feel alone now for him or for us. I feel like I've had blinders on for months and they've just been ripped off. I thought we were alone, struggling for every inch by ourselves. I couldn't have been more wrong.

We are putting in the work here at home, but this fight is much bigger than just us. This fight is in Ohio and Idaho Idaho, in Iowa, in Kentucky, and Lansing, Michigan, and all through the states all the way down to good old Texas. After we sat and saw every gift and read every letter, I immediately filled up my new time-soaked travel mug with a mixture of coffee and bailies in a ratio known only to me and we walked to the lake.

We sat there and I explained to Jake that we have to do the heavy lifting here at home, but out there on the other side of the lake. Man. Out there on the other side of the lake is an army of time-stuckers and spacers that are watching us and supporting us every day. Now on our walk, we go to the lake and we waiveaved all the people on the other side who are in this fight with us Man We wait because we know that we are not alone And we want all our friends to see us and know that we are still here. We are still fighting and that we're doing okay Thank you all of you a thousand times over. Thank you. Hail Nimrod

Adam Jen and Jake random Canadian space sisters and then also enclosed by Adam We're two little pictures of Jake and he's a fucking handsome little man. He's surrounded by gifts sending for from time suckers And all those gifts are helping him fight for his fucking life Joe Lindsay and I all cried over this one man harmony and Alex did too. Wow man. You keep loving that little boy with all your heart man. We'll keep him in ours Uh, we're gonna we're all gonna set our little mental crowns on his perfect little head. And maybe all that love and support will be enough to do what science sometimes can't, man.

Maybe miracles are real. Maybe we're part of this one. I'll fucking hope so. I can't wait to shake your hand at him. I hope you're holding Jacob and your other arm when you shake my hand. And to every time Stucker who helped his family, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Whew. Man, if this ride stopped today, this alone will be worth it. We helped one sucker out of a cold, we're helping another not have to fight life's hardest fight alone. And that's just a matter of course. A matter of more than any jokes or silly characters, or any podcast could.

Whew. Love this community, thank you all for being a part of it. Special thanks to Harmony and Lindsey And any jokes or silly characters, you know, or any podcast could. Oh, woo. Love this community. Thank you all for being a part of it. Special thanks to Harmony and Lindsay for putting Adam's care packets together and making sure it made it to Adam. I mean, lots of, lots of big hearts. Lots of big hearts working on the suck. And I'll shake your hand down the road, man.

Thanks, time suckers. I need a net. We all did. Have a great week, everybody. Thanks, time suckers. I need a net. We all did. Have a great week everybody. Enjoy a glance with two at the moon next time you get a chance of beautiful, think Adam, little Jake, looking at it when you do. Maybe one day, some time suck or walk on it, and if you, you know, that happens. Take a time so stick her up there for me, for all of us. Slap it up there somewhere. Hail Nimrod, your beautiful bastards, and keep

on sucking. Man Adam got me so many times. He's got me so many times, the emotions. Part of me really hopes that this has all been a big practical joke. It would be one of the best ones of all time. If after all this, he's like, Ah man, just found this fucking you guys. I don't even have a kid. Ha ha, made you cry so much. Ha ha, oh my god, what a show.