Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 148 - Robert "The Butcher Baker" Hansen

Starting point is 00:00:00 Alaska, the most remote part of the United States, so much uninhabited land. In total area, twice the size of Texas, with over 375 million acres, it's bigger than Texas, California, and Montana combined. And it has less people living there than North Dakota, just slightly more people than Vermont. You can really get away from people in Alaska, so many places where you can find yourself with nobody else around for miles and miles and miles. An Alaska resident, Robert Hanson, an Anchorage-based baker, chose to use this uninhabited remoteness to his raping and murderous advantage for over a decade. In late 1970s, Anchorage police began receiving steady reports about missing prostitutes and topless dancers. Initially, these disappearances caused little concern.

Starting point is 00:00:47 As such, girls were notorious for leaving at a moment's notice, usually without telling anyone where they were going. But then their bodies began to be found. And soon, a lasken police knew they had a serial killer in their midst. We take a look at Alaska America's 49 49th state and it's most notorious serial killer, Robert Hansen, aka the butcher baker today on TimeSuck. Hello, meat sacks, happy Monday. Welcome back to the cult of the curious.

Starting point is 00:01:26 Welcome back to more true crime after a brief historical break. I'm Dan Cummins, aka master sucker, aka the suck lord, aka profitive Nimrod, and neither a butcher nor a baker. Unless Tater Tot casserole counts, I can bake the shit out of one of those. Cream mushroom soup, green beans, ground beef, tater tots, lorry seasoning salt, 350 degrees, and then get the fuck in my belly, where you will not stay long because you will tear

Starting point is 00:01:54 my insides apart. You are listening to Time Suck. Recording today in the Suck Dungeon in Cordelaine, Idaho, Reverend Dr. Joe Motherfuck and Paileys, Zach, Scripkeeper, Flannery, the last day before vacation, recording this two weeks ahead of time. Hoping the world still exists. Hope you're not listening to this in some kind of dystopian post-apocalyptic nightmare.

Starting point is 00:02:16 Hope the world didn't fall apart in just two short weeks. Hail Nimrod, hail Luciferina, praisemode jangles, and fuck Robert Hansen. Thanks again to our Patreon space lizard for helping us donate $2,600 this month to a hundred plus abandoned dogs of Everglades, Florida rescue. Link in the episode description. If you'd like to find out more or donate more to this no kill shelter yourself, got some tour dates coming up real pretty soon now. Going to be in Cincinnati, Ohio, West Liberty, funny bone July 26, 27th.

Starting point is 00:02:46 And I mean, Charlotte, North Carolina, at the comedy zone August 1st through the third Richmond, Virginia to funny bone August 4th, August 9th, intent through Orlando, Florida improv, and then anant Hill kids suck August 11th Sunday in Orlando, Thursday, August 29th, Hollywood, showbiz. Gonna be at the comedy store in Orlando, Thursday, August 29th, Hollywood, Chobius, gonna be the comedy store in Hollywood, California, and then I'll be at the other comedy store in La Hoya down by San Diego, August 30, 31st, September 1st. My new vinyl album, Feel the Heat is Out Today.

Starting point is 00:03:16 Today, as long as the world is, you know, still around a lot of good stuff. I'm thinking odds are this, the fuck Chuck's story, the burn of my ween on a heater story, and more on wax. Various limited edition pressings available right now from the more Romannus record vinyl gods. The link to buy this album in today's episode description just click that link to go to the Romannus record Shopify store.

Starting point is 00:03:39 Another cool tea in the store today reminds me of the shirts I wore as a kid in the best possible way. Reminds me of teas that I wore in first and second grade when I was living in Anchorage, Alaska, home of today's subject. Old school he-man master the universe vibes on a t-shirt right now. It's a suck master king of the lizards ringer T.

Starting point is 00:03:57 And if you don't like or need a ringer T, check it out. Just for the access apparel design work. Very cool, very like a sci-fi Pope V, but it's a work of art on T-shirt. It's an anvil, a hundred percent cotton ringer. Also made out of a hundred percent lymurian, three and a half dimensional invisibility ability. Also made out of a hundred percent David Ike power shockrace. Also made out some shit that I can't even talk about, because the Rayalians made me promise not to.

Starting point is 00:04:24 Those alien worshipers, they told me to tell you guys, I can don't even talk about because the Rayalians made me promise not to. Those alien worshipers, they told me to tell you guys I can don't even worry about it. But for real, at least check out the design. Hail access apparel. I love all these just limited runs are doing just, you know, getting so many different types of products out there. So different suckers can hopefully find something they like. And now it's time. It's time to dive into another space that's chosen topic. A dark one, a fascinating one, Robert the Butcher Baker Hansen.

Starting point is 00:04:51 Robert Hansen was a serial rapist, with at least 30 victims that survived, and a minimum of 17 women were raped and murdered. Hansen, like too many others, was a serial killer who got away with serial killing, because he didn't come back. He was a serial killer, but he was a serial killer.

Starting point is 00:05:04 He was a serial killer, but he was a serial killer, but he was a serial killer, but he was a serial killer, but he was a serial killer, with at least 30 victims that survived and a minimum of 17 women were raped and murdered. Hanson, like too many others, was a serial killer who got away with serial killing because he didn't come across like a serial killer. To the people around him, seemed like a nice guy, family man, donut, you know, baker, who makes delicious ass chocolate cake donuts and hunts women in the woods. In a perfect world, nobody. In this world, at least Robert Hansen has done that, has lived that reality. Hansen was an award-winning hunter

Starting point is 00:05:31 who put his hunting skills to use on human beings. He was also a very successful bakery owner. So weird. Local police, buying donuts, made by the guy, they're thinking about, you know, how they're gonna catch while they're eating those donuts. The majority of today's suck is going to take place in a big old time suck timeline that we're going to jump into after hearing about today's first sponsor.

Starting point is 00:05:54 Time suck today is brought to you by a way travel. A way offers high quality luggage at a much lower price by cutting out the middle man, selling them directly to you, choose from nine colors and four sizes, the carry on, the bigger carry on, both of which are compliant nine colors and four sizes, the carry on, the bigger carry on, both of which are compliant with all major US airlines, the medium or the large. All suitcases made with premium, German, polycarbonate, which is lightweight, unrivaled in strength,

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Starting point is 00:06:33 and if at any point you decide it's not for you, return it for a full refund, no questions asked, I'm on vacation right now. As this episode comes out in Peru and Mexico, it's my wife, Lindsay, Kyler and Ro, and we have three away suitcases with us, two large suitcases and one bigger carry on. And they are awesome. I've tried other suitcases, most break in the first four months because I fly so much, 100,000 to 150,000 miles a year. I'll put 70 pounds of merch in the big suitcase. And that breaks

Starting point is 00:07:01 most big suitcases. Breaks are wheels, about 10 to 15 trips I've noticed. Not these away suitcases. Literally not anything has broken in any of the suitcases I have owned from away. And that is rare from somebody who's owned a lot of suitcases. I've been using the carry on for over a year now. I've put about 75,000 miles on one of those big boys.

Starting point is 00:07:20 Nothing, still smooth wheelining down the con course. So get your money's worth with an extremely durable suitcase, save money. For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com slash time suck, use promo code time suck during checkout. That's awaytravel.com slash time suck promo code time suck for $20 off a suitcase. Link in that episode description, Time suck timeline right now. Shrap on those boots soldier. We're marching down a time suck timeline. Marching into Iowa. February 15th 1939, the day after Valentine's Day, a baby boy is born in Estherville, Iowa's Coleman hospital.

Starting point is 00:08:07 This baby boy will grow up to be a man who will not become some kind of Valentine's romantic lover. Maybe if he would have been born just one day earlier, maybe that would have fixed everything. Maybe Cupid could have softened him up a little bit, probably not. This baby is Robert Christian Hansen. He's born to a Danish immigrant baker named Christian Hansen and his wife Edna. And he'll soon become an insecure, troubled, angry monster of a meat sack. Jobs were scarce in Esterville, a quaint little town of roughly 6,000 people, a town mostly famous for a 455 pound meteorite that fell to earth a few miles north of Esterville in 1879. So in 1942

Starting point is 00:08:44 and Robert was three, his family headed west. They moved to Richmond, California, just north to San Francisco on the San Francisco Bay, where they would live for five years. An enrichment, Christian and Edna would quickly tire of the hustle and grind of trying to pound out a living in a much more populated area. They longed for the comparatively simple life of small town Iowa and they saved money to move back and open their own bakery 1947 the Hansons returned to Iowa with their now 10 year old son and their two year old daughter and they settled in Pocahontas Iowa small town 125 miles northwest of Des Moines Founded in 1870 within the county of the same name Pocahontas was one of many towns created during the rapid settlement of the flat

Starting point is 00:09:24 Ferdile Midwest Corn Belt after the Civil War. The town was named after that famous Virginia Indian princess whose benevolence and interventions on behalf of the Jamestown settlers and the 1600s had made her the symbol of the American Indian welcoming Europeans into the new world. The basic ethnic mix of the town and its surrounding farms established by German, Bohemian, Scandinavian and Irish immigrants. Lots of immigrants. Robert Stad was one of these immigrants. Pocahontas epitomized the wholesome small town Americana of mid 20th century America. Lifestyle portrait and shows like Leave It To Beaver, Father Noes Best.

Starting point is 00:10:01 Pocahontas had a town grain elevator. The railroad came through town. It had a cute little main. The railroad came through town. Had a cute little main street with a hotel, a blacksmith, machinery and car dealers, grocery stores, produce stores, produce stores. There was produce stores. There was a sea of lettuce somewhere near downtown. You could stand on the banks,

Starting point is 00:10:16 just admire all the greenery. Now there's hardware and repair stores. Had a nine hole golf course, 60 by 120 foot swimming pool built by the works progress administration during the depression. On Main Street, there was also the reality theater, showing the latest and Hollywood movies. Showbiz! And then in 1949, Pocahontas got a donut shop. The October 20th, 1949 edition of the Pocahontas record Democrat carried an ad for

Starting point is 00:10:42 Robert's parents, New Bakery, saying, Mr. and Mrs. Chris Hansen announced the opening of their home bakery inviting people to come in and get acquainted and inspect the modern bakery and enjoy free coffee and donuts. I love that they encourage them to inspect it. I just picture a small to be like, oh, just just walking back and looking at the machine really. So that's where the little donut holes. That's the thing that makes them fascinating. That's amazing.

Starting point is 00:11:09 Chris Hansen had learned the baking trade in his native Denmark, home of the Danish sweet-ass bread with some cream, maybe some cheese, maybe some cream cheese, maybe some fruit compote in the middle before immigrating to the United States at the age of 20. The Danes, Masters of the Pastry. If you had to pick one nation to buy some tasty-ass bread from, Denmark, not a bad choice.

Starting point is 00:11:34 Followed closely randomly by North Korea, origin of the Applefritter. Mm-hmm. You ever had a North Korean Applefritter? You haven't lived in constant fear and poverty and sadness. Unless you had a stale, moldy North Korean apple fritter, that's the first nourishment of any kind. You've been allowed to eat after being beaten for several days in a government cage. But seriously, Chris Hansen was a skilled baker and his bakery on the main street of this small town in Iowa thrived. Also, this Chris Hanson, not the same Chris Hanson of the Ketchup Predator.

Starting point is 00:12:06 Same name, very different era, very different person. When they moved to Pocahontas, the Hanson family lived in a small apartment above the family bakery and at 2 a.m., this is a no way I'd more awake up at 2 a.m., 2 a.m., the Hansons would get up, actually they would get up before 2 a.m., they would walk downstairs and work would begin.

Starting point is 00:12:26 The bakery did well enough to allow the Hansens to buy a modest three bedroom house. There's two or three houses from the edge of town putting a whole four blocks between their workplace and their new home. And this new commute to work drastically changed the Hansen family life. Now having to account for distance and traffic since they no longer work directly above the bakery, the Hansens were often have to head out for work by, say, one 58 a.m. said to. And in the winter when it was important to put on more layers of clothing, sometimes the

Starting point is 00:12:53 Hanson would have to leave it like one 57 a.m. and something that Chris's frustration with this new commute is what led to Robert becoming a serial killer for two to three minutes every morning. He just storm around the house just yell just, you know, just yell and just, can be a sleep right now. Oh, we had to move to the edge of town, Edna. It's killing me, Edna. I'm a city man, Edna. That's not true. Quaintance is recalled that the Hanson House was very well-kept, always very clean. Edna was a meticulous housekeeper. Chris Hanson was described as being a hard-nosed authoritarian figure, an old world father, very religious, and very strict.

Starting point is 00:13:30 So, sweet, fun dad. Hashtag fun dad. Another one of those parents, over and over, we come across this type of parenting in the suck first, very religious plus, very strict, seems to create so many monsters. I can't think of one serial killer I've read about. Where when researching their childhood, I've come across something like,

Starting point is 00:13:48 he was raised behind laid back, firm but fair, loving parents, who made him go to church on Sundays and tell him he was 13, and then they stopped forcing him. And Stan, they just hoped that he would carve out his own relationship with God, for they were wise enough to understand that once he was an adult and left their home, they wouldn't be able to force him to bend to the will of their God as they interpreted it. So why cram their religion down as fucking throw it in the first place? Which are probably just causing to resent later and have a lot of anger issues.

Starting point is 00:14:14 Chris worked himself in his family hard, especially his only son, Robert. Robert started working around the bakery shortly after the family opened it and his responsibilities in hours would steadily increase as he grew older, getting up to work for several hours before you go to school, probably not going to enhance anyone's junior high or high school scholastic experience. Robert would later express resentment over how hard he was worked as a kid, saying, when I was a young boy, I worked at my dad's shop and I'd get maybe 35 to 45 cents a day. When I got to be a sophomore, junior, senior, I wouldn't even get a dollar a day. That would work out to about 10 bucks a day there at the end when adjusted for inflation.

Starting point is 00:14:51 So he did have good reason to gripe about this. In addition to being angry over a feeling like he had, you know, to work too much as a kid wasn't paid enough for that work. Robert Hanson also had a severe stutter, which added further frustration to his childhood. He'd stutter his whole life. And he'd filled it to stutter. He was part of the reason that the girls he was interested in weren't very interested in him. He stuttered so badly in junior high and high school. He tried to talk to a teacher or a classmate, literally not be able to get any words out

Starting point is 00:15:17 that made sense. And he'd end up just walking away mid-stutter humiliated. And of course, this being the 1950s when bully shaming wasn't something anyone really talked about, he was, I'm sure, well, and, and it's, we'll learn, ruthlessly mocked. He also was in real big dude. I imagine he was pushed around in the hall more than a few times and booked slapped out of his hands. Maybe those book kicked down the hall bit, tripped, all that fun stuff. Stickers put on his back, you know, kick me, that kind of thing. Maybe it said, k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k And girls alike made fun of Robert for his stutter and for his acting, but it stung more when the girls made fun of him. He was fairly girl crazy and very frustrated.

Starting point is 00:16:07 They didn't care for him. And he came to hate all the cruel, pretty girls he coveted, but could not have. Hello future serial killing motive. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Galastically, Hanson was an average to, to below average student. I guess below average to average, better way to phrase that. It's, it's possible he would have gotten better grades if he just didn't have to work such long hours in the bakery. He suffered from that age, old dilemma of the donut maker's son, you know, too many maple bars, not enough calculus, too many chocolate old fashions,

Starting point is 00:16:38 not enough social studies, too many cinnamon sugar twists, long johns, glazed donut holes, strawberry frosted jelly donuts crullers not enough You get the idea One of Robert high school teachers noticed he always seemed tired in her afternoon typing class often falling asleep She figured it was because he had to get up too early to work in his father's bakery this same woman Would also many years later express a lot of regret a lot of guilt Over the method she chose to try to motivate Robert to stay awake in her class. She said when he'd fall asleep, she would encourage his classmates to sing along with a pretty cruel little ditty she whipped up where she just sing, you know, just How are you such a, that's grace. Your face looks like tomato paste.

Starting point is 00:17:27 We'll wake up you lazy, papaya of human waste. So, you know, pretty not cool. Reflect on that song years later, she could see how it could have come across as insensitive or hurtful to Robert. She also said that when he wake up and hear that song and start crying, she wishes she would have, you know, maybe not pointed at him and laughed and yelled things like, oh, oh, looks like the Jesus melt on Robert's, pup,

Starting point is 00:17:53 pup, pup, pup, pizza face. And then she really regretted literally running around the class fucking high five and everybody after that. Now she didn't do that. I'm pretty sure a teacher behaving that way would have been frowned upon in public on his, but you know that some of his classmates probably did shit pretty similar to that. You know he was mocked, savagely. Basically, Robert's childhood was pretty shitty. Some people have the inner strength to overcome that later in life. Some people choose to look back at high school and think, you know what, fuck those clowns, but not Robert.

Starting point is 00:18:22 High school would haunt him for the rest of his life. He had no real friends in high school, he described as a loner, he later said the school was hell and that all through high school, if I knew there was a possibility that I have to say something in class or make a comment, I would literally break out and sweat and of course getting excited made my stuttering worse. Hanson went out for basketball all four years of high school but failed to win a letter each and every year. Same thing with football. Crush in it. Dude was crushing it.

Starting point is 00:18:49 Outside of school, working in the bakery when Robert did have free time, he'd go out into the woods and daydream about rape and murder. Actually, not kidding. He did start to fantasize about raping and hurting, killing all the girls who had made fun of him pretty early on in life, started dividing women in his mind into good girls and bad girls, bad girls who made fun of him pretty early on in life, started dividing women in his mind into good girls and bad girls, bad girls who made fun of him should be punished. Bad girls who weren't sexually interested in him should be punished. He also hunted fish became pretty good at archery, you know, great, not a good combo for

Starting point is 00:19:14 some women he'd meet later on. I imagine he also started fantasizing about hunting those bad girls. Robert loved being out in the woods, out alone in nature. He was good with the gun. He was good with the bow. He felt powerful. He wasn't riding the basketball or football bench. No one was making fun of his acne No one was making fun of a stutter. I Imagine him just killing a deer and then just yelling. Ha ha take that you fucking stupid

Starting point is 00:19:37 Duh Duh Duh Damn it By the way, I only feel okay making fun of a stutter because he was such a piece of shit D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- that yearbook got his name wrong. Senior year, Roberts name was misspelled, Hanson with the know, how insulting is that? Under his misspelled name was a slogan, worry never made men great. So why should I worry?

Starting point is 00:20:12 Years later, he didn't seem to worry too much about getting caught for taking women out in the woods and hunting them. Back to his misspelled name in that yearbook for a second. That's so sad to me. To me, that speaks volumes about how truly unpopular he was. Like he graduated with 31 other kids, a class of 32. So in their high school, about 120 kids, you know,

Starting point is 00:20:29 total put in the yearbook, most of whom I'm guessing lived in town, most if not all of their lives. You don't misspell the starting quarterbacks name and a little school like that. You don't misspell the prom king or the captain, the cheerleaders. You don't misspell the name of any other kid who hangs out with those kids,

Starting point is 00:20:44 or the name of any kid you at least talk to in the halls or at least no casually, which is 99.9% of other kids. Like I went to a tiny high school and you know everybody, it's not big enough to break up into clicks. I feel like you only fuck up the name of some kid like that if that kid barely exists to you. I mean maybe it's an honest mistake. I know that could have easily happened. I think more likely that they gave that little of a shit about Robert or even worse, one final insult on his way out. Maybe I'm reading too much into this, but this is what Robert seemed to feel, these kind of things. He felt like people just really hated him. Robert joined the Army Reserves in 1957 after graduation. He did his basic training in Fort Dix and New Jersey, where he became proficient as a marksman. He then went to Fort Knox, Kentucky, served for just one year before being discharged.

Starting point is 00:21:31 Actually some sources say he was discharged, others say he completed his active duty after a year, and it was on reserve duty status for several years after that. I'm guessing in the army, Robert's drill sergeant may have mocked him as well. Right? I mean, I don't know that to be true, but I've heard that many of drill sergeant, especially back in the time when Robert was young, pretty fond of aggressively breaking men down to verbal abuse before hopefully building them back up. Look at your bad private, Hanson. Does that look clean to you?

Starting point is 00:21:59 You pizza-faced f-fuck! Something like that. I imagine you heard something like that. Before leaving his brief active duty, Stint in the military, Robert had his first sexual Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck He would say it was just WAM, BAM, thank you, MAM. He wanted more time with these women, time he would force on these women later. This poor sick bastard, he just wanted them so badly to want him. In 1958, after leaving the army, Robert would return to Iowa and again, work in his dad's bakery. Again, crushing it in Pocahontas. A few months later, he gets his own apartment in Pocahontas and according to someone who

Starting point is 00:22:44 would be interviewed years later, he'd have high school boys over to his apartment and talk about guns hunting and who or what he didn't like in Poghannas. So you know, he's just becoming cooler and cooler. The cool guy, super cool guy who doesn't have friends in high school and then moves away and then comes right back and then hangs out with the new high schoolers. You know, I knew a couple of kids like that where I grew up, always the cream of the crop, always the best. I always thought, good for them,

Starting point is 00:23:08 we're not moving on with their lives. In 1959, Robert starts dating a woman who has mentioned in all kinds of biographies, but is not named in anything, not named in any of the articles about Robert online. I found the best two biographies, there seemed to be out there about this to her bag and she's not mentioned by name and nose.

Starting point is 00:23:27 And one of the sources he referred to as a girl who graduated a year after he did the daughter of the town chiropractor. That same source said that this chiropractor and his family had little contact with the community outside of his practice. Then, on December 7th, 1960, Robert burns down his old high school school bus garage. Clearly angry about high school, clearly harboring some grudges. As retribution for the abuse he once received, Robert takes a 16 year old employee to his father's bakery, talks this kid into helping him set fire to the school bus garage, not

Starting point is 00:24:00 only to the successfully burn it to the ground, they also destroy three of the seven of the schools buses just to take that pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop up pop himself in rats Robert out on March 29th 1961 Robert Hansen charged with arson his bail is set at $2,500 three days later his mom Edna goes to the courthouse bail him out that night Robert marries the chiropractors daughter in a ceremony at the Lutheran Church. The newlywoods leaving a week for Florida for their honeymoon returned to live in Robert's apartment while he waits trial after that man Man, what a fun wedding that would be. Getting married in front of your new in-laws who now know that their daughter is getting hitched to a vengeful psychopathic arsonist. They must have been so thrilled.

Starting point is 00:24:55 And stress and anxiety made Robert stutter worse. Those vows must have been something else to watch. I promise to love you forever. I promise not to set any more for for for for for for God. It's a damage. It's a sorry, everybody. No more for for for fires. That's September. Hanson indicted for the arson charge. Considering the case against him, Hanson waves his right to a trial. Please guilty. He would later say, I guess I burned down the bus barn because I hated the school with a divine passion. That's his words, divine passion.

Starting point is 00:25:31 I would do whatever I could think of to get back at the monster school that did Bob Hanson a personal wrong. Dude, clearly can't move on from high school. In a way, yeah, Robert would never move on. On October 9th, 1961, Robert was sentenced to three years at the state reformatory at Animosa, now known as the Animosa state penitentiary in Iowa, shortly afterward his wife divorces him.

Starting point is 00:25:56 An Animosa, home of the National Motorcycle Museum, which by the way looks pretty awesome. A psychiatrist, Diagnosis Hansen, is having an infantile personality disorder. Based on Robert's description of fantasies of revenge and destruction. Hanson revealed to the psychiatrist he imagined doing vicious things to girls who'd rejected him or made fun of him. He talked about wanting to blow up the town water tower, talked about wanting to shoot out

Starting point is 00:26:18 the light to the town police car. He was obsessed with getting even. He hated this town. In late 1962, another psychiatric assessment done on Hanson states that while he still had an infant infant infantile personality, his anti-social attitudes had diminished. This report coupled with his record of good conduct earned him early parole on May day, 1963. The winner that Hanson or before excuse me, the winner before Hansen was released, his parents had closed their successful Pocahontas bakery and left town. The shame of everyone

Starting point is 00:26:50 knowing that their son was a town arsonist was just too much for them to bear. They purchased a stony point resort on leech lake in Minnesota. 200 miles north of Minneapolis, St. Paul moved up to northern Minnesota to get everything ready for the coming fishing season. The Hansen's resort was located in the Chippewa National Forest on a peninsula on the southwest side of the big 110,000 acre lake. When Robert was released from antimos, so he took his parole in Minnesota, went to work at his parents' resort, spending the first weeks helping paint the boats and cabins, and putting out the docks. When the season began, he guided fishing parties, he loved it. I'm sure shit was a little bit tense between him and his parents, but you know,

Starting point is 00:27:27 he liked his new wilderness environment. In the summer of 63, he also met the woman who'd become his second wife, Gloria Deakin. She was one of the girls as folks that hired to clean the cabins. She was also from Pocahontas, her parents ran a motel there. Gloria went back to Iowa University that fall while Robert completed three and a half week short course at the Wilton School with cake decorating in Chicago. Soon after that, Robert got a job at a bakery in mind, not North Dakota, through a friend of his parents.

Starting point is 00:27:52 He and Gloria got married a month later. Then Robert got into some kind of trouble with his new job, came back to work as his parents resort, the troubled son returns based on what kind of trouble he'll get in soon. I'm going to guess that Robert got fired in mine out for stealing something. Robert loved stealing stuff almost as much as he loved raping, killing, and setting things on fire. Shortly after returning home, Hanson got another job at a big bakery chain called Cox Bakery's and the couple moved to more head, Minnesota. This chain doesn't seem to exist anymore, but there is a Cox bakery and donuts and El Paso. If anyone working at this bakery listens to Time'suck, please talk to the owners into hiring me to write

Starting point is 00:28:30 some radio jingles for a new ad campaign. I have so many ideas that I feel pretty good about. Cox bakeries running a new contest this summer, whoever can eat the most donuts in 10 minutes gets free donuts for life. So come on down to Com Comestreet, find out how much cocks you can fit inside yourself. Cocks, put them in your mouth. Nothing's gonna kick start your day like some cocks. Bakery and donuts. Wake up and smell the cocks. Bakery and donuts. Set down that bag of dicks, buddy, and instead, why don't you eat a bag of cocks? Bakery and donuts. Just think about it. That's just me spitballing. I'll put even more work into it if you hire me.

Starting point is 00:29:08 Anyway, Robert, it's supposed to rotate among the bakery chains, 32 shops, scattered throughout the Midwest, filling in for regular managers while they take their vacations. His first assignment is a two-weeks-dint in Rapid City, South Dakota. When he gets back from slang and so many donuts and maple bars in Rapid City.

Starting point is 00:29:25 When he got done stuff in Rapid City to the gills with muffins and pumpkin bread, he and Gloria decided they didn't like Robert having to travel so much for work and they moved to Minneapolis to get a new job. Robert was done with Cox. He swore off Cox for the rest of his life after that. He didn't want any more Cox in his life. Robert and Gloria lived in the Collins trailer park on East 78th Street in the suburb of Bloomington.

Starting point is 00:29:45 Gloria attended the University of Minnesota now. Robert worked at the Merb Bakery in Uptown Minneapolis on West 50th. Merb Bakery since 1953, tasting better than a bag of cocks. Merb, I'll work for you as well. Robert was hired by Merb to be a foreman and cake decorator. His new boss found it to be an excellent worker. The people of Merb also discovered he had quite a temper. Apparently, he liked to go off and people working under his supervision all the time. Very, he'd snap pretty easily,

Starting point is 00:30:13 but always polite to his boss. So they kept him two years later on February 22, 1965, Robert gets into some criminal trouble again. A Bloomington policeman arrested Hansen for stealing some fish line and lures worth 11 bucks from a sporting goods store. He had the money, he just didn't want to pay for it. As it turned out, Robert had gotten really into shoplifting, had been stealing stuff for months. Robert's interest in shoplifting is best summed up by that Jane's addiction song, Ben Cot stealing. I ain't just stealing it, it's just as simple as that well, it's just a simple fact When I want something and I don't want to pay for it Then I walk right through the door. Yeah, walk right through the door

Starting point is 00:30:59 Just like the song dude just enjoyed walking out the door and stealing some shit. He liked it Truly truly this for the rest of his life when he's not incarcerated just love taking stuff Just like the song, dude just enjoyed walking out the door and stealing some shit. He liked it. Truly. Truly, for the rest of his life when he's not incarcerated, just love taking stuff. Gloria Hansen persuaded the couple's Lutheran pastor to vouch for Bob. And these first shoplifting charges were dropped, but Robert was not done stealing, not even close. Couple months later, Robert's bakery boss comes into the shop early one day, finds Robert

Starting point is 00:31:23 is in the office. He's broken into the office by using a knife on the lock, hands in his rifle and through a desk drawer that has cash for customer change. This guy would later say that he was obviously furious. He said, I called the county attorney about pressing charges, but then Bob came to me and he said he'd been offered more money to work at the Northside bakery. That's simplified things. I told him just to go ahead and take the job.

Starting point is 00:31:43 Oh, that's hilarious to me. You're going to jail, asshole. Wait, wait, what? You got a job offer. Some other place. No, you know, good for you. Oh, you take it, man. Best of luck. Get on, go on. Get out of here. Yeah. I'm not that mad. I just don't want you here anymore. So maybe you just want to get rid of Robert. And that was just good enough. Maybe he enjoyed thinking about, you know, Robert stealing from one of his competitors. That May, Robert was arrested again for theft. Took a softball from a gun reward, arrested for that, so random to me. At his new job, he'd actually started bragging to other employees about how he could go

Starting point is 00:32:17 into a store, trying to suit, and walk out of the store wearing it. In the spring of 1967, Gloria graduated from the University of Minnesota. She and Robert assigned to leave Minnesota. They both love the great outdoors. She and Robert chose to move to the state with the greatest amount of wilderness and outdoors in the U.S. by far. They decided to move to Alaska. In June, the couple stuffed their belongings in a tent into a new Pontiac heads for the

Starting point is 00:32:41 Pacific Northwest, hidden all kinds of campsites and national parks along the way. They stay in the Grand Teton National Park to take mountain climbing lessons. They spend time enjoying the beauty of Glacier National Park. Glacier is beautiful, by the way, holy shit is ever beautiful. Lindsey and the kids can't there two summers ago. Incredible, highly recommend, love everything about it. Three out of five stars. And then they drove up through Canada to Alaska, arriving in Anchorage in mid-August, Anchorage,

Starting point is 00:33:06 the city of my sister Donna was born in, city I went to kindergarten through second grade in. Alaska would provide Robert with plenty of room to hunt. He'd end up hunting all kinds of animals in Alaska, including, of course, sadly, human beans. Alaska's 591,000 square mile area equals one third to the lower 48's or 48 states combined total land area It's huge as I said at the beginning and and so full of land no one else is living on wilderness We can walk for days and days and never run into another person plenty of room to take somebody out into the wilderness

Starting point is 00:33:36 Let them scream all they want no one will hear hear them and kill them No one else around for for miles and miles and miles Alaska's 1967 population was only 278,000 total people. To understand, Alaska's population and proportion to its size, imagine Manhattan only having 11 people total on it. And most of Alaska's people live in or around Anchorage, the rest of the state, so rural, Anchorage is located in South Central Alaska at the north-eastern end of the Cook Inlet Basin. Anchorage is located in South Central Alaska at the north eastern end of the Cook inlet basin.

Starting point is 00:34:05 A 37,000 square mile area shaped in a horseshoe by a quintet of mountain ranges. On the west, the illusion range extends 160 miles to the north to overlap with the Alaska range as it curves across the top of the basin. On the east, the Tauk Hietna Mountains go from the Alaska range to the Meta Newsca River Valley across the Valley, the Chugatch range stretches to the southwest along the Gulf Coast of Alaska to the Kenae Mountains, which buttress the basin from the rough Gulf waters on the south and the tides of Cook inlet on the north.

Starting point is 00:34:38 Alaska is a relatively new city, came into existence in 1915, when President Woodrow Wilson proposed a rail route to connect the interior coal fields of the Meta Nuska and the Nanavallis to the ice free port of Sue, Alaska. Anchorage was a staging area for the project and overnight, a tent city of 2000 railroad rail road workers and a handful of merchants sprouted up. And then on July 10, 1915, there was an auction of 655 town site lots and land comprising today's fourth avenue area of Anchorage. City planners tried to keep the new community from becoming the den of sin, stipulating that the lots are not to be used for the sale of liquor, gambling, or immoral purposes. Violation means forfeiture of property. However,

Starting point is 00:35:23 Anchorage would still become a rough frontier town full of all kinds of gambling liquor and prostitution. Ironically, its tedious area would be that area that the founders of the town tried to keep from being city. By 1940, our Anchorage had doubled it in its original population, and with the arrival of Fort Richardson and Elmendorf Air Force Base, it extended sixfold or expanded sixfold to 30,000 people by 1950 making it the largest city in the territory. Think about that.

Starting point is 00:35:50 A city of 30,000 being the largest city in all of Alaska. Still a territory, also. Alaska did not become a state until 1959. In 1964, South Central Alaska hit by the greatest recorded earthquake ever to strike the North American continent. Anchorage shook for five terrifying minutes as the quake reached 9.2. That's a big one on the Richter scale. My dad lived in Alaska at that time on Kodiak Island with my grandpa Bill, where he was

Starting point is 00:36:20 a Pentecostal minister and he remembers the quake well. I actually have a memory of feeling a much smaller earthquake in Alaska when I was around five. I remember the floor shaking in our apartment. Some of my mom was knick knacks rattling on a shelf. I remember my mom getting scared, which of course made me scared. My grandpa Bill would later live in the Cordova Alaska and I spent a week with him and my grandma Carol there when I was a kid and he showed me a stretch of old highway that had been folded up and busted in that 64 quake. It was crazy, just seen as fault turned into what looked like part of a roller coaster. Anchorage survived this huge quake. Alaskans are tough-ass people.

Starting point is 00:36:52 By 1967, Anchorage's 108,000 people made up 39% of the state's population, and in the next 15 years, this number of city residents would double. The Hansons had no trouble finding employment in this booming anchorage job market, hungry for people with a trade or a degree. Robert went to work as a baker and a cake decorator for the Safeway Bakery at Ninth and Gamble, and Gloria got a job teaching on government hill. Life was good for the Hansons in Alaska.

Starting point is 00:37:20 They rented an apartment by Safeway, they soon moved to a better one on Dawson Street. After only a year of renting, the young couple was able to buy a duplex on sixth avenue in South Mountain View where they lived in one half of the duplex rented out the other. Mrs. Hanson became active in the Lutheran Central Church. She and Robert went hiking, camping, climbing, and fishing together. Life was way better for Robert in Alaska than it had been in Pocahontas. He and Gloria made a custom

Starting point is 00:37:46 t-shirts. They would wear that said, we love Alaska. Of course they didn't do that, but he did love Alaska. Robert threw himself into archery and bow hunting, joined the black sheep, Bowman, the Alaska Archery Association in 1969. Hanson got into the Pope and young record book twice, shooting a fourth ranked mountain goat on the keynipon insla, bringing down a 33rd ranked barren ground caribou. The Pope and Young club, by the way, is an organization dedicated to bow hunting, which continues today and includes its own world record book

Starting point is 00:38:16 for North American game. In 1970, Robert Bagg, the third largest doll sheep ever taken down by a bow. And the heads of all these animals would line the walls of his den. And I feel like later, if you would have been able to get away with it, he would have also added the heads

Starting point is 00:38:29 of various women alongside them, due to loved his trophies, visual reminders of lives he'd take it. In 1971, Robert and Gloria prepare for their arrival of their first child. They sold their duplex at a substantial profit, moved few blocks north to a larger house on Thomas Circle, and Robert took a job at another bakery, and then the Hansons had a baby girl. And this girl's name does not seem to exist on the internet. I get the feeling she doesn't want to

Starting point is 00:38:54 be found, cannot blame her. Even on genealogy websites, on the on the death database, find a grave, Robert's children's names are not listed. Neither is his wife, Gloria's name. I'm guessing after he was arrested, Gloria refused interviews, changed maybe her name. I'm guessing after he was arrested, Gloria refused interviews, changed maybe her name, probably changed his name over kids, and I can't blame her. After the birth of his first child, the Hansons began to go their separate ways, no longer going on wilderness outings together,

Starting point is 00:39:16 as a couple, they continue to participate in church and social functions, but their lives do become more and more separate outside of that. And this separation will give Robert more and more time to fulfill the darkest of his urges. Also in 1971, Robert brought down the biggest doll sheep ever taken down by a bow. Hanson signed the Pope and Young fair chase, affidavit, wherein he swore that no firearm was used. Hanson also bagged the second ranked barren ground caribou that year. Dude loved to hunt and he was very good at it. But he would never enter his name into the Pope and young record book ever again.

Starting point is 00:39:47 He kept hunting by the time of the winter of 1972. He had changed or 71-72. He changed his prey to women. In the early 70s, Anchorage had an extremely rough tenderloin district full of all kinds of vise largely run by Seattle mafia boss Frank, uh, Colocurio,, we centered on fourth avenue again. That's where the city began, where there was lots of insult back in 1915 to be used for anything but this. Now that's what they're being used for.

Starting point is 00:40:13 Young women are flooding into the area in the hopes of making some big money, dancing in full nude strip clubs that also operated as brothels. These clubs had names like Wild Cherry, Arctic Fox, Booby Trap, Tits and Tots. Tits and Tots was Alaska's first strip club in preschool combo where the kids can hang out,

Starting point is 00:40:31 colored, drink grape juice, eagro cheese sandwiches, their moms could dance naked next door and give them the guys boners. And of course, there was no place called Tits and Tots. That was just an excuse to throw one of my old standup jokes into the time of the second. One real place was the Great Alaska and totts. I was just an excuse to throw one of my old standup jokes into the time of the second. One real place was the great Alaskan bush company. Maybe the best name for a STIP club ever.

Starting point is 00:40:50 I imagine there was so much bush in the 70s. This place is actually still in operation, although in a different location and I'm guessing with substantially less bush. I may or may not have spent too much time in the website verifying that fact. Begotless Afrina. One of the girls currently working at this place as an entertainer goes by the stage name

Starting point is 00:41:09 of paisley clearly a nod to Reverend Dr. Joe paisley clearly catering to the micropean demographic. Anyway, as the population and disposable income sky rockets and anchors journal ask his big oil boom, the bigger strip clubs are skimming tens of thousands of dollars each month or more sometimes in cash. This is why the mob got involved there. A lot of cash money. 1974 construction on the Trans-Alaska pipeline would bring a lot of money to this district. This pipeline would carry oil roughly 800 miles from the Prudobae to top of the northern

Starting point is 00:41:43 tip of Alaska down to Valdez, east of Anchorage, there was an oil boom and with an oil boom comes a lot of blue color jobs paying a lot of money. Young dudes making some sweet oil money looking to blow some cash on coke, alcohol, strippers, and prostitutes in the wild party scene of the tenderloin district of Anchorage. And so lots of prostitutes flow into meat this demand. Some of these prostitutes will become Hanson's victims and the fact that they often weren't from this area made it that much harder for investigators to solve the cases. When girls went missing law enforcement, I had no idea if they just returned to wherever they'd lived before Alaska or if something terrible had happened to them. Also, as one might

Starting point is 00:42:15 imagine, the CD underbelly of Anchorage was also violent. Police were kept busy with plenty of beatings, armed robberies, fire bombs, more than a couple murders between 1979 and 1973. Police responded to 207 disturbances at just the booby trap club alone. And another, another pretty good name for a strip club. By the way, booby, in this chaotic world, Robert Hanson found his new prey. Prey he figured the police wouldn't spend a lot of time looking for if they went missing and sadly he was right. In Anchorage's red light district, Robert soon realized he could easily find women who

Starting point is 00:42:48 for an offer of $300 cash would go just about anywhere with him. But first more legal trouble. In November of 1971, Hansen gets arrested for an incident in the Spanard neighborhood of Anchorage. On November 15th, 18-year-old Suzy Heppard was driving home to relax after work on Monday on a Monday afternoon. On Northern Lights, Bill of Art, she stopped at a red light, and in the casualty kind of pan of her surroundings, her eyes met the eyes of a man in the car next to her. She just gave a little reflex courtesy smile. The light changes. She drives home to an

Starting point is 00:43:19 apartment she shared with two roommates in Spanard, and then she thought, no more about it. Just some random dude, she happened to smile at for like a second. A random dude named Robert Hanson. Robert, however, thought a lot about it. He followed her to the department. After she got home, started taking a shower. There was a knock at the door. She answers it. There stands 32 year old Robert. Robert pretends he was just trying to find somebody else in the apartment complex. Just, oh, can I see your phone book for a second? It's on the table by the door. So he lets him look. If you look, he's like, huh, ah, damn, I must be on a listed Then he tries to start up a conversation

Starting point is 00:43:50 Tells a young woman he was new and anchored didn't know many people which would like to go out with them on a D-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d- He says, I'm engaged. And Hanson leaves. His casual approach didn't work and he's pissed. She had rejected him. Just like all those girls rejected him in high school. He's gonna show her now. He decides to try a more aggressive approach next week. He decides he's gonna have to make her, Susie leaves her apartment at 5.15 AM. To drive some friends to work, she drops them off. Drives back home where Robert is waiting for her in the darkness like the

Starting point is 00:44:33 fucking weird creepy is. As her car is headlight beams, supercross the yard, when she turns into the driveway, Susie sees a man in an orange cap hurry behind a neighboring building. She parks her car in the carport, gets out, suddenly the man in the orange cap steps in front of her points of gun at her face. It's of course Robert. He snarls shut up sweetheart or I'll blow your brains out. She instinctively screams cocks the revolver revolver says scream again and I'll blow your head off. And that's when another Suzy Suzy Scott who is in a back bedroom ironing a blouse. Here's her scream outside. She hurries into living living room, looks out a window.

Starting point is 00:45:06 She's a man standing with her roommate in the lighted area at the base of the stairway. She can see this guy's holding the gun. She opens the door and yells, what's going on, Susie? Are you all right? When she doesn't get a reply, she closes the door, calls the police, Roberts nervous now. He walks away from Susie and then he just wanders off down the street. Moments later the cops arrive and then moments after that, they find him wandering around

Starting point is 00:45:28 the neighborhood. Hansen's vehicle is located. A loaded 22 caliber pistol is found out of the driver's seat. Another officer finds these his orange cap in the snow. They find a 357 magnum revolver nearby. The cap revolver at some of his hair are sent to a crime lab for testing. Suzy positively identifies Robert, then a grand jury charges Hanson with assault with a deadly weapon.

Starting point is 00:45:51 His trial is set for January of 1972. While awaiting this trial, he has arrested again. This time, Hanson is accused of having picked up an 18-year-old prostitute named Barbara Fields outside of bar and downtown Anchorage, kidnapping her and then raping her at gunpoint. He's accused of tying Barbara up, then driving her 80 miles away to an empty field out on the Kinei Peninsula. He made her strip naked, fondled her for about 15 minutes, like there was on a date together, like a consensual date as opposed to her being held against her will.

Starting point is 00:46:21 Then hazard get dressed again, drives her to a motel called the sunrise in in takes her to a room, ties her to a bed and rapes her. Then he drives her back to Anchorage, told her he would kill her baby, told her he would kill her parents if she ever ratted him out to police and then just let's her go. And then she goes to the police. And unfortunately, the district attorney ends up having to drop her case when Barbara becomes too scared to testify and fails to appear in court. Superior court judge James Fitzgerald then sentenced his handsome to five years for drawing the gun upon the first woman, basing this punishment on a psychiatric evaluation that revealed that Hanson was still obsessed with revenge.

Starting point is 00:46:57 He was obsessed with revenge, revenge on any woman who reminded him of those girls back in Pocahontas. He wanted to hurt him, he wanted to kill him. Judge Fitzgerald could see that Hanson was dangerous. However, Hanson was still able to get out of jail quickly despite objections from the prosecutor due to another more forgiving psychiatric evaluation. He immediately applies for parole, gets out quickly, only staying in jail for three months, only losing jail from March to June. In June of 1972, Hanson assigned to a halfway house upon his release.

Starting point is 00:47:27 He receives psychiatric treatment until November. In December, he's led out of the halfway house on a work for a low program. In the confession he gave to investigators later, he stated that the very first night he was free, the very first night, he goes down to fourth avenue, starts cruising the area, watching prostuits, fantasizing about how he's going to capture one of them again. Also that December, a petite blonde 18-year-old Anchorage resident, Celia Beth Van Zanton, a freshman in Anchorage Community College goes missing on December 22nd. Three days later on Christmas afternoon, her partially nude, frozen body is found in

Starting point is 00:48:01 a ravine 20 miles south of Anchorage. Her hands have been tied behind her back. Robert would never confess to her murder, but is strongly suspected of having killed her. A map would be found after his eventual serial killing arrest with little asterisks, little exes on the map. Many of those exes would be revealed to be the locations of known Hanson murder victims, and there was an ex where Cecilia's body was found. And while all this is going on, Robert is still happily married. His wife, Gloria, stays with him despite the recent very strong kidnapping and rape allegation, despite the recent conviction for assault, which was obviously a rape attempt.

Starting point is 00:48:36 Do not do that anyone. If your man gets arrested for attempted rape, and then because the witness doesn't show up in another incident of obvious rape, pick up your shit, start a new life. Do that right away. Wishing somebody will change and become better is not going to make them better. When people go that dark, no part of me believes they'll ever really be good again. I feel like they've gone past the point of no return. You know, it'd be hard to start over, but at least you won't be living with a rapist who will almost certainly rape again. And again, and at least you won't be living with a rapist who will almost certainly rape again.

Starting point is 00:49:05 And again, and again, you won't be giving a cover story to a rapist that they can use in court to get reduced charges, reduced sentencing. You know, just, oh, he's just a good family guy. He won't do it again. I mean, that kind of stuff happens all the time. Despite newspaper coverage of the recent charges against Robert, the conviction and rape accusation, there was a preliminary trial for the rape allegation. Robert doesn't seem to suffer much of a status drop in the Anchorage community either.

Starting point is 00:49:28 Co-worker, Irma Knight would later recall, we took it with the grain of salt because Bob was a hard worker, the best cake decorator, and he had that little girl. So we figured he had a good marriage. What? You took his conviction and other near conviction with the grain of salt. Are you fucking stupid? Like, it's so strange how we meat sacks can rationalize things. Sure. I read about the kid now having a rape charges. Yeah, I mean, I knew he was a wrestler pulling a gun on that other 18 year old girl, but I also knew the guy decorated cakes like nobody's

Starting point is 00:49:58 business. So good. Really tasty. How can you decorate cakes cakes so, so well and be married and have a kid and go around kidnapping a raping? You can't, you just, you just can't do it. I would love to see that type of logic used to defend somebody in court. Your honor, we all know that my client has been charged with multiple rapes and murders and that there are witnesses and a ton of forensic evidence and even a sign confession. He even looks pretty rapy with his comb over and it's thin mustache and his

Starting point is 00:50:31 t-shirt that says spread those legs or I'll kill you but your honor please check out this sweet cake I mean really look at it look at the detail it's a leaning tower of pizza and German chocolate form each section has a Boston cream filling layer inside. Taste it. Taste the frosting. It looks like Italian marble, but tastes like delicious German chocolate. Do you honestly think that a rapeseed cereal killer could make a cake that delicious and beautiful? It is impossible, your honor. I mean, if this cake was a cake of a naked lady with her tits cut off, then yeah, throw him in his cell. If it tasted like a moldy old gym sock that someone would severe case athletes foot wore, someone who, you know, just like to

Starting point is 00:51:10 walk around barefoot on a floor of just nothing but dog shit and come before eventually putting the sock back on, then yeah, send it to death row. But this cake is delicious art. So please let my cake maker go. The summer 1973, Hanson and all likelihood kills again after his wife and daughter head back to Minnesota to spend the summer with his wife's parents. While Gloria is chilling in the land of 10,000 lakes on July 7th, 1973, a 17 year old girl named Megan Emmerich disappears from Anchorage.

Starting point is 00:51:38 Hanson would never confess to her murder, but he is still considered their prime suspect in her murder. Then in late 1973, Hanson has an encounter with a steward police or with these steward police, while still on parole for assault, they find a stolen boat motor and a stolen depth finder with the serial numbers filed off aboard the Christie M, a boat that Hanson owned. Hanson contented, he bought the stolen goods through private sales but lost the receipts. And then he passes a lie detector test, and he's not charged. Consequently, with no record of bad behavior or misconduct during his general furlough,

Starting point is 00:52:10 he's parold in December of 1973. Then in 1974, Hanson and all likelihood rapes a 16-year-old girl in Anchorage, but that crime is not reported. 35 years old, still getting back at those Pocahontas high school girls. 10 years after this assault, this victim would tell her story to Sheila Tumey, who was writing a series of articles about the hidden victims of violent crimes in the Anchorage Daily News. And the June 12th, 924 story, this victim was given the pseudonym Lila. Lila said, though on a brisk of temper night, she was walking home to gamble street after a party.

Starting point is 00:52:44 As she crossed the street, Hanson, waiting in a parked car rolled down his window asked if she wanted to ride. Though she didn't usually hitchhike, this man was soft spoken and polite. He didn't seem threatening. She accepted. Lila told Toomey, he sort of looked like the perfect dork. I thought he was a dud at her house. Robert Hansen wouldn't let her out of the car, pulled a gun when

Starting point is 00:53:05 she tried to resist. As they drove away, Leather remembered Hansen getting very talkative, asking about her boyfriend, did you sleep with him? How many boys did you slept with? She said, I had the feeling he'd done this kind of thing before. Hansen made her take off everything except her blouse, and then he forced her to perform oral sex on him, while he held the gun to her head. Next, and this is so strange, he made her flash a passing motorist. This guy just loves flirting with getting caught, loves being

Starting point is 00:53:28 reckless. Something Hanson did this to further humiliate her. He had been humiliated. So now he's making this pretty girl humiliate herself. After several hours of sexually assaulting young Lila, Hanson drove around trying to find, as he told her, another girl to make us do things. Creepy. He didn't find anyone that he drove around trying to find as he told her another girl to make us do things. Creepy. He didn't find anyone that he drove around, he didn't find anyone, then he drove around aimlessly for a long while, Lila said, I thought he was trying to decide what to do with me next.

Starting point is 00:53:55 And then he did something else super odd and very unexpected. Robert handed Lila the gun and said, okay, now you can do whatever you want with me. Or you can order me to drive you to the police station. What the fuck? I mean, did he want her to kill him? I had to gun him my hand, Lee, that told him to me. I could have shot that bastard, but I thought it was a trap that the gun wasn't even loaded. And I think that's probably true.

Starting point is 00:54:16 That's what I would have thought that he's tricking her, you know? Or is this further humiliation? Did he want her to find out that the gun wasn't loaded? Did he want her to know that he'd just done when he'd done to her, even though she could have ran away when he had first pointed that unloaded gun at her? And then Hanson, let her go. Threatening, if you go to the police, I'll hunt you down.

Starting point is 00:54:35 The terrifyingly, the respondent just let me live. I'll never tell. And then she didn't tell for many, many years. Didn't tell until he was arrested. On July 5th, 1975, 23-old Mary K. Mary K. Phil disappears from sewer to Alaskan, excuse me, sewer, is 126 miles south of Anchorage, another suspected Hanson victim. Phil's husband was away from home when she disappeared working at Prudo in the new oil field on the north slope. Finding out his wife was missing

Starting point is 00:55:02 he returned home, put out a $1, dollar reward for any information as to Mary's whereabouts, disappearance. It went unclaimed. Hanson later admitted he was ensured the day they'll disappeared, but denied involvement in her case. Nevertheless, the police do believe she was one of his victims. Also in 1975, another process to do, complained about Hanson to a rape crisis center, and then the center reported the assault to the police. But Hanson was lucky again because this victim also refused to cooperate with law enforcement. She didn't want to testify. She was a schoolteacher who would travel to Alaska to work at a strip club to make extra cash that summer and she didn't want the publicity of a rape trial. She claimed Hansen drove her to the foothills of the two gatch state park, two gatch state park.

Starting point is 00:55:45 He's fucking a last words. Rave to her gunpoint and then let her go. Hanson wasn't charged even though the officer of the time were convinced he was guilty. They just didn't have enough of a case. Also in 1975, as a teamster, Robert Hanson took a second job as a laborer on the loading dock at Alaska cold storage. And the Hanson's had another baby this time of son, whose name also appears to have been hidden. And they were also saving to buy a larger home. Dude is crushing it. Build this family, making tons of money, killing a rape and whoever

Starting point is 00:56:12 he wants, killing rape. Despite doing well financially, Robert is still stealing a lot of things as well. Robert's Clifton, Mania will get him back in court here real soon. In July 76, Robert and Gloria put a $37,000 down payment on an $88,000 house on old Harbor Avenue in Muldoon, Hanson's parents come to visit in September, see their sons new home, how proud they must have been of their raping, murdering little fire starter. And then Robert went back to prison for of all things. Stealing a chainsaw from Fred Myers. Plot twist did not see that coming. He can't get a rape charge to stick on the sick fuck, but he also ends up in prison for

Starting point is 00:56:49 five years for stealing a chainsaw. Robert would later say when he shoplifted, he'd come close to ejaculating in his pants. Said it gave him the same sexual satisfaction that he got with the prostitute. Oh shit. Look at that. Sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks, sucks. Sess, sess, sess, sess. Yes. To change. I didn't even have to put, put, put, put, put, put, pay for it. Makes me sess, sess, sess, sess, sess. Makes me sess, sess. Make me get that. Damn it. Before going

Starting point is 00:57:20 over the details of his chainsaw theft conviction, one final sponsor. Time's took us brought to you by the great courses plus. Sometimes we need a break from the constant news cycle. Sometimes we need a break from the constant darkness I talk about. The great courses plus is the perfect escape for both of those breaks. With this new streaming device, you can pick up a new hobby,

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Starting point is 00:58:36 greatcoursesplus.com slash time suck. That's the greatcoursesplus.com slash time suck, link in the episode description. Now back to that chain saw arrest. On November 3rd, the day after the election of a Jimmy Carter for president when Jimmy Carter won his race for the presidency against incumbent Gerald Ford, Hanson walked into the Fred Meyers store at the intersection Northern Lights Boulevard and the new sewer highway. I'm not positive. I'm pretty sure this is a Fred Myers. I live not too far from when I was a little kid. Security guard Jesse G. Smith watched the shopper act suspiciously in the sporting good section. At the chain saw display, the man's pucked mark face turned one way. Then the other is the examiner saw. It appeared

Starting point is 00:59:18 to Smith that the fellow was looking to see if anybody was watching him. Smith watched Hanson take a chain saw through a closed checkout lane and out of the store. He pursued, apprehended Robert Hanson 80 yards from the entrance, and then a week later, Hanson is indicted for felony larceny in a building. The district attorney could have prosecuted the offense as a shoplifting misdemeanor, but chose a felony charge because of Hanson's previous convictions. At his arrangement, Hanson pled not guilty, released on $500 bail. Hanson took immediate steps to prepare for a defense. I went to see psychologist Dr. Allen Parker, the same man who'd examined him when he'd been charged

Starting point is 00:59:53 with assault back in 72. Parker's evaluation back in 72 would help him get out of jail early. Parker's findings now would not help his case. After administering a series of tests, Parker wrote to following evaluation. Emotional and personality testing indicates a markedly disturbed man, who was somewhat anti-social, paranoid by nature, and with a relatively weak ego. There are indications of severe, heterosexual conflict, both with a desire for women, and a fear that he will not be able to relate to them. He is capable of acting out impulses

Starting point is 01:00:28 and he's aware of many of the impulses within his personality. He has a great deal of free-floating anxiety. Since Parker had also done the analysis of Hanson back in 72, he was able to now conduct a longitudinal analysis of Hanson and he wrote, the retesting indicates the presence of disintegration of personality to a highly potential psychotic level

Starting point is 01:00:50 or high schizophrenic scale, high manic scale, and high anti-social scale. There's some narcissism and magical thinking involved in this also. Disintegration of personality to a highly potential psychotic level. I'm not a psychiatrist, but that sounds really, really bad. Like, I don't think you can feel good

Starting point is 01:01:11 about somebody getting that diagnosis. Just good news, everybody. Dad's gonna be fine. Turned out he's not clinically depressed. He is just, he's okay. He's totally psychologically healthy other than suffering from a disintegration of his personality to a highly potential psychotic level

Starting point is 01:01:27 on January 19, 1977 before Judge James K. Singleton Hanson pleads guilty to the theft of the chainsaw and then the judge chooses to wait to sentence Hanson deciding to wait on the results of additional psychological tests on March 22nd, 1977, another psychiatrist, Dr. McManin, testifies he diagnosed Hanson as suffering from a bipolar, effective disorder, a variant of a manic-depressive disorder, the doctor distinguished Robert Affliction from the classic manic-depressive pattern by the absence of any serious depressive episodes. Hanson's impulses, he said, were poorly controlled during his mood and energy upswings, in which he would develop an abnormal preoccupation with a single activity.

Starting point is 01:02:09 Dr. McNammon said his kleptomania was a manifestation of his monomania, and his determination as a trophy hunter was a socially acceptable example of his monomantic behavior, where he'd be looking to do things no one else had done in order to consume his energy. panic behavior, where he'd be looking to do things no one else had done in order to consume his energy. McMahon also said that after his third session with Hanson, it's actually McMahonman. I keep floating over it. McMahonman also said that after his third session with Hanson, it was evident to him that Robert's antisocial urges were escalating, so he prescribed Thorazine to put an immediate

Starting point is 01:02:42 check on those impulses. McMahonman described Thorazine as a tranquilizer, and then the doctor switched Robert to Lithium stating it allowed him to function normally while learning how to control his anti-social behavior. If only that would have been true. Judge Singleton sentenced Hanson to five years in prison, but then just two days after sentencing, Hanson's attorney files a notice of appeal, and his appeal would be successful. On August 11th, 1978, the Supreme Court of Alaska,

Starting point is 01:03:09 deciding to be lenient with Robert, ruled, the record before us reveals a man suffering from a clearly diagnosed mental illness that until recently offered little hope of recovery. Hansen's psychiatrist prescribed a course of drug treatment and therapy, and reported to the sentencing court that Hansen had been cooperative and had a positive attitude toward the treatment.

Starting point is 01:03:28 The court expressed optimism about the treatment. Dr. McMahonman was giving his patient and considering Hanson's stable home and work environment, their decision concluded that he be put on probation for the remainder of his five-year sentence and released from confinement immediately. And then just a few weeks after his release from prison, Robert Hansen murdered a woman at Summit Lake on the Kien-I Peninsula. She was the first of at least 17 women

Starting point is 01:03:52 he would kill between the fall of 78 and his arrest in 1983, just, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, gg, g served only one. Also in 1970, Hanson applied for a pilot's license. On his application, he said he was taken lithium, a drug used to control bipolar disorder. He was denied a license because of this. So then he just took the test again. He just filed out, filed, filed a new application, saying that he wasn't on lithium, and he got his pilot's license. So, wait, there would only be one more legal complaint filed against Hanson from this time until he was eventually tracked down from multiple murders. The loan complaint was filed by yet another prostitute. She claimed that he held her hostage in his camper in Anchorage and that she had become

Starting point is 01:04:33 convinced Hanson was going to rape and kill her. Newed and desperate, she broke a window in the trailer, got out, ran down the street, screamed as she went, the police got involved, but again, nothing came from the case. No physical evidence and it came down to the word of a kind of somehow so respected businessman against that of a prostitute. We'll talk about that in a little bit more detail in a bit later in the timeline. In 1979, Robert Hansen finds another woman he wants to hurt. On October 14th, Christie Hayes was dancing at the Embers, a club in downtown Anchorage.

Starting point is 01:05:02 She had just gotten laid off from tits and tots. She was luckily able to be rehired at Embers, a club in downtown Anchorage. She had just gotten laid off from Titsentots. She was luckily able to be rehired at Embers. She did a table dance for a fellow who was sitting by himself, nursing a beer, he flashed her roll of money, and with a stutter asked if they can meet later. I'll be off in 20 minutes, she told him, and he said, good, we'll meet outside. Look for a gold camper. Actually, probably more like they said, look for a gold camper. Actually, he probably more likely said, look for a gold camper. Later after Hayes got into the back of the camper, agreed to perform oral sex. Hanson pulled a gun on her. He forces her to strip.

Starting point is 01:05:31 Then he bounds her or binds her with some snare wire. Fear and for her life, she begins to scream. Then when Hanson threats, don't shut her up, she becomes more hysterical. Worried that someone would hear her screams, called the police, Hanson jumps out of the back of the camper into the Hanson jumps out of the back of the camper into the cab to drive out into the wilderness. As he maneuvers the pick up to the streets of Anchorage, she gets to Glenn highway. Christie manages to squirm out of her bonds.

Starting point is 01:05:54 Now besides screaming, she's pounding on the camper walls. Hanson slams on the brakes, causing this poor woman to just fall forward and bash her head against the camper wall. Hanson then gets out, runs around to the back of the camper, but he can't get in because Christie has locked the camper door. I am loving Christie. She's a fighter. Christie then crawls to the side in glass window, beside you know, between the camper and

Starting point is 01:06:15 the cab, locks the cab doors as well. Unfortunately, the driver's window is rolled part way down. Hansen sticks his arm through to pull up the lock. As fast as she can, Christie then cranks the window up, trapping Robert's arm, really loving Chrissy. Fight, Chrissy, fight. Hey, oh, Chrissy. And rage, Hanzon freezes arm by breaking the window, then he yanks, naked Chrissy out

Starting point is 01:06:37 of the cab, throws her on the ground. So, so shit's over, right? It's all done now. Wrong. Chrissy, mother fucking Hayes, not done. After getting thrown, naked to the ground. Hayes bounces back up to her feet, runs down the street. And despite being barefoot, despite getting her head bashed into the camper,

Starting point is 01:06:54 Hanson cannot catch her. He chases her, it gives up after a couple blocks. He runs back to his camper, throws Christie's clothes on the ground, drives off, naked with the badly bruised face. Christie Hayes keeps running, screaming for help, eventually finds someone to help her and reports the assault to the police. Unfortunately, not able to identify her as a salient from mug shots provided to her. But she gets away.

Starting point is 01:07:18 She lives. No word on what Christie Hayes did with the rest of her life. I like to imagine that she stopped working in the strip club, walked away from prostitution, became a really successful martial arts instructor who specialized in teaching women how to defend themselves from attackers. Hey, I lose to Fina. Let's believe that. We don't know.

Starting point is 01:07:35 It's true, but we also don't know it's not true. That same month on October of 79, Hanson picked up a 16 year old girl outside the fourth avenue movie theater drove her out into the wilderness with the intention to rape her. But when his captive told him she was homeless and hadn't eaten for two days, he let her go without assaulting her. I guess he decided she wasn't like the girls who mocked him. Rare moment of humanity for Hanson. He actually took pity on somebody.

Starting point is 01:07:58 He took pity on a 16 year old girl. He initially totally wanted to rape, but then I ended up doing, I guess, I don't know, kind of a good thing. Later that fall, however, things turned out differently. Hansen cut a deal for sex with a young woman who would be, come to be known as or called the, Eklutna Annie. I thought we have come from Anchorage, from Kodiak Island or come to Anchorage from Kodiak. She was wearing blue jeans, a sweater, brown leather jacket, high heeled red cast cast-length zip-up boots when she got into his gold camper. Handsome would later

Starting point is 01:08:28 recall, I can't remember if she was a prostitute or a dancer, I picked her up downtown, told her I was going to take her to my home, I was heading up to Eklutna Road, and there are several offshoot roads there. When it became obvious to the woman that Hanson wasn't driving her to his home, as he said he would, she told him she wanted to go back back and then he told her we're just going a little further. Then she said, well, I'm not and he pulled out a gun, pointed it at her and said, yes, you are. You will do exactly what I say and you won't get hurt. Continuing north on Glen Highway towards Kinnick River, he turned into Eklutna Road, heading east towards Eklutna Lake. Fall rain to combine with the summer runoff from Eklutna Glacier to make the lake streams and water levels.

Starting point is 01:09:08 Very high and many of the capillary roads and trails off of the main road contain water hazards. The one Robert turned on to did and it quickly became a muddy swamp and he got stuck. Robert had used his winch to try and get his vehicle free. While he was working on that, the woman he'd kidnapped started trying to sneak off into the woods. He yelled at her to stay put and then she started running. He ran after her and unfortunately she wasn't as fast as Chrissy Hayes and he caught her and grabbed her by her hair. Then she reached into her purse, pulled out a big black-handled buck knife, buck knives made right here in Northern Idaho by the way, about 10 miles from the suck dungeon, post falls, only own a few myself, very good knives.

Starting point is 01:09:46 She swung her buck knife toward Hanson. Unfortunately, he was able to block it, block the blow, grab the hand that held the knife, then he tripped her to the ground. She pleaded, don't kill me. And then while she was on the ground, face down, he plunges the knife into her back and he does kill her. And then he buries her in a quickly dug shallow grave. In June of 1980, Roxanne, Easlin, the 24-year-old woman disappears from Anchorage, another Hanson victim.

Starting point is 01:10:10 23-year-old Joanne Messina goes missing from steward in July. Despite the butcher baker murder seven years earlier, beginning in 1973, when Hanson's finally caught, he initially claims that Joanna Messina is his first victim. Side note about Joanna. Joanna was forever known to troopers as the bear lady. This was because when an investigator named John Lucking found her dead body at her hastily, or hastily, you know, Doug Gravesite, he also found a very alive black bear. Walter J. Gilmore, author of Butcher Baker, the true account of an Alaskan serial killer,

Starting point is 01:10:44 and the director of the Trooper Academy in Sitka wrote this of the incident, if you have ever been the object of a 200 pound black bear's attention, especially one intent on protecting its food source, you know that these beasts can be troublesome. While some people believe black bears are less dangerous than grizzlies, that's not true in Alaska, and even less true if they're feeding. As lucky and his fellow investigators stared down the possibility of becoming another link in the food chain, they determined they had better scare the bear away. Scare tactics didn't work, and the bear became yet more menacing and protective of its food. They couldn't let the bear destroy their evidence. So the only logical course

Starting point is 01:11:23 of action to take was to destroy the bear. But the black bear is a protected species in Alaska. So to kill one is tantamount almost to homicide. The wildlife in Alaska, moreover, have some pretty zealous protectors in the form of fish and wildlife police, also somewhat derisively known as fish cops. Although it was quickly evident, once the bear had been taken care of, that we had a homicide on our hands,

Starting point is 01:11:44 the hue and cry that was raised focused almost exclusively on Lucky's destruction of this bear. Needless to say, that element of the case became an unwanted distraction. That's such an elascan detail. Homicide and vectors having to deal with a bear in a crime scene. Investigators having to deal with people losing their shit over a bear being killed. People worried more about the bear than the woman. That also feels very alasking to me.

Starting point is 01:12:11 It would be another two years before the troopers got a break in Joanna's homicide. A 1980 Hanson really began to ramp up his killing of an Anchorage area prostitutes. His MO would be pretty consistent. After paying for their services, he would kidnap and rape them. Then he'd fly them out to a hunting cabin. He'd bought in the Kinnick River Valley in his airplane. He would then release his victim into the woods to stock and kill them with either a hunting knife or a 223 caliber Ruger Mini 14, a semi-autic

Starting point is 01:12:39 weapon similar in appearance to the military M16. And while the body count continued to rise, it was hard for investigators to link all of these deaths to one killer, prostitutes were disappearing from anchorage all the time, not just because they were being killed. As I said earlier, due to the transient nature of many of the people passing through anchorage at this point in time, people popping in to make quick cash and then go back to wherever they lived, it wasn't easy to determine why someone would suddenly disappear. Also complicated the investigation, Hanson's rape and murder tactics generally left very little evidence.

Starting point is 01:13:13 In one case in 1980, he allegedly shot the dog of a woman he'd murdered to make sure the dog wouldn't lead anyone to her shallow grave. In the fall of 80 more young women continue to disappear. On September 6, 1980, Lisa Fertrell, a 41 year old white female, is lasting an anguish her deaths will later be traced to Hanson. In January of 19, 21, Robert opens a new bakery at 9th and Ingra and Anchorage. No reason to let Constan Killan get in the way your bakery career.

Starting point is 01:13:41 So fucking weird to me. Murder, rape and donuts. Who knew they could go together? This has been such a strange weird to me. Murder, rape, and donuts. Who knew they could go together? This has been such a strange episode to research. Keep finding myself both disgusted and also kind of hungry for donuts. I keep thinking weird shit like, I wonder if he did make a really good donut. Like what a weird thing if you're a detector trying to solve this, you know, these murders, but also detective who really, really loves Hanson's donuts.

Starting point is 01:14:05 You know, what have you made by far the best donuts in all of Alaska? And then you catch him and you want to celebrate by grabbing a dozen fresh donuts from God damn it! Can you make a few more fresh donuts from prison? Robert got the money to open his new bakery by using a $13,000 cash settlement he received from a false insurance claim he'd made. Bob had claimed that his home was robbed that thieves had stole his hunting trophies. Allegedly after the missing hunting trophies were then found in his backyard, he said he just forgot to report through recovery. I want to try and do that. I want to go hide my truck somewhere, report his being stolen, get the insurance money, and then just go pick up my truck again, just

Starting point is 01:14:40 drive it around. And then if I get caught, just say, I forgot. Oh yeah, that's all, oh gosh dang it, that's right. I did get the insurance money to buy a new truck. I totally forgot about that. Hey listen, can we just not worry about it? And they hate, what about this? Next time somebody does steal his truck, then you don't even have to pay me, even, even see him maybe. 1971, great year for Bob Hanson.

Starting point is 01:15:01 Still happily married to Gloria, despite all of his past legal problems, has two healthy kids, a new bakery, his business is prospering. He is considered a successful and respected member of the Anchorage community. Does anyone think that life is still fair? After hearing a story like this, can you possibly think that life has any fairness to it? Or the karma is real. Also in 81, two more last women disappear after Robert Rape's and murders them, 22 year old Andrea Alteerri and 23 year old Sherry Morrow. Sherry Morrow would have been a dancer and anchored for three years,

Starting point is 01:15:34 bats from Club to Club, the wild Sherry would be her last booking. Friends described the five foot six blonde as a pretty girl quiet and shy. Her roommate saw her as a lonely troubled 23 year old, who just wanted to meet the right guy and get married. I kept telling her that we're only jerks coming into the clubs. Her roommate said, Sherry was gullible, easily talked into anything. When Sherry was last seen leaving a friend's house around noon on November 17th, she was wearing jeans, baby blue ski jacket, paramoon boots, arrowhead necklace,

Starting point is 01:16:04 wire rim glasses that framed her blue eyes. She was going to Alice's 210 cafe to meet some supposed photographer. She'd met who was going to pay her $300 for a posing nude, some photographer who smelled like donuts. Surely after meeting his intended victim with the cafe, Robert Hanson had blindfolded Mara with ace bandages. And while she knelt handcuffed and helpless on the floorboard of the front seat of his brown Subaru, he drove her to the Kinnick River. He eventually turned left on Glen Highway, following a winding road past cultivated potato fields and then drove through some brush flats onto a sand bar along the riverbed.

Starting point is 01:16:39 Hanson then let Sherry out of the car, but before he could get the handcuffs off her, she freaked out, started kicking, started screaming, deciding to let her cool off. Hanson just walked away, took her to 23 caliber mini 14, walked over, sat down by a tree and just let her scream. Eventually, she ran towards Hanson. Hanson would later say he would just sit there on his ass while she stood above him, kicking him, screaming. And then he said, I just pointed the mini 14 up towards her and pulled the trigger.

Starting point is 01:17:07 Just love to toy with his victims. Hansen with bruises on his legs from being kicked by Sherry, then took a fold up spade that was part of his murder kit now. Doug a shallow grave in the silt in the sand. After rolling Marrow's body into the hole, he removed her arrowhead necklace for a souvenir. Love taking little reminders, little trophies off his victims. Before he covered over the corpse, he bent down, picked up to spend two, 23 shell casing, tossed it into the grave.

Starting point is 01:17:30 Then he walked back to his car, fondling her necklace. Two weeks later, he'd collect another trophy on the morning of December 2nd. Andrea Alteary left her apartment to meet some older man she had just met for a shopping spree at Boniface Mall. Some dude who smelled like donuts. Andrea, who staged name was enchantment, danced at the bush company. She hadn't felt suspicious about this older man probably because you know, sometimes wealthy guys like this would just take her out and buy stuff. She put on jeans, red sweater, gold chain with a fish charm on it, pearl ring, black leather jacket. She gave her roommate another

Starting point is 01:18:04 dancer who went by the State name of magic a see you later hug then Andrea took a cab to the bonnet fist mall and disappeared and Then Robert did to her what he'd done to so many other girls by this point I'll tear you ended up handcuffed and blindfolded handsome drove her the Kinnick River area Turning on to a service road Off the Palmer highway he headed for an isolated spot by the Kinnick River Railroad bridge, told her he'd raped a woman there the week before. And according to Hanson, everything had gone fine and I let her go. Side note, Robert did continue to let an untold number of victims go.

Starting point is 01:18:37 He drive women to these remote places, raped them repeatedly. And then oftentimes if he decided they were good girls who had done what he told them them good girls who hadn't made fun of him or reminded him of those mean girls back in Iowa, he drive them to Anchorage, chat them up in a friendly manner like he hadn't just tied them up and raped them and then he just let them go. Still in the car, Hanson fondled out here. He's breast for a while. Again, like they were on some kind of consensual date because he's fucking crazy. Then he held a 22 brownie automatic pistol to her head, very undate like forced search

Starting point is 01:19:08 or perform oral sex. That's definitely part of his big pattern. Gun to the head, forced oral sex soon. Andrew told him she had to go to the bathroom. They got out of the car. Robert laid his gun on the hood. Andrew walked off a ways. You go to the bathroom.

Starting point is 01:19:19 Robert did the same. Unzip in his pants, started the urinate. Suddenly Hanson heard a noise, pivoted to see Andrew running back, reaching for the pistol. She managed to get her hand on the butt of the revolver before Hanson got a hold of her so close she came so close Robert grabbed the gun by the barrel twisted it out of her hand through it back on the hood. Andrew started clon at the acting scarred face of Robert. He snatched the gun off the car and shot her. And then Hanson got a canvas duffle bag, folding shovel out of his car, filled the bag with gravel from the railroad bed. After lugging the bag out to the middle of the

Starting point is 01:19:49 railroad trestle, he went back for Alterie's body, he tied the duffle to the dead woman's neck, pushed it, and the body off the bridge and into the connect river. And then he walked back to his car fondling the pearl ring and fish charm necklace he'd taken from her body. Due to a booming bakery business, in January of 1982, Robert was able to buy himself a new plane, a Piper Super Cub. This would be the plane he would use for transporting the rest of his victims to his remote cabin on the Kinnick River. His modus operandi would now be picking up a woman along fourth avenue, binding her hands

Starting point is 01:20:22 at gunpoint, then flying her to the Kinnick River where he would rape her and then decide he was going to fly her back and let her go or shoot her. Yeah, the knick river was his favorite killing location. It was still close to town yet remote enough that he could hunt the women without anyone around to hear their screams for help. It was also a place with hundreds of sandbars easy for him to land his plane, place to collect more trophies. His den was loaded with dead animal heads from those hunts while his basement was accruing more and more trophies from his human hunts.

Starting point is 01:20:49 Thank God he kept these trophies. These trophies would soon help investigators finally convict him. On May 26, 1982, another of Hanson's victims sued Luna 23 last year in an anchorage, her case similar to Sherry Maros, sued Met Hanson at the Good Times trip club. Like Sherry Maros, Sue had agreed to meet Hanson at Alas's 210 club, although Luna was not offered money for nude photos. She was paid or told she was going to be paid $300 for an hour of sex. Sue's roommate eventually reported that Luna did not appear for work on the May 26th that she had not been seen since. And then Sue's sister reported her missing, finally Anchor City police, and a last-can-stay

Starting point is 01:21:25 police began to accept that many of the city's dancers weren't just heading back to wherever they normally lived. Somebody was killing them. The police realized that since 1986, Dancer had disappeared completely from fourth Avenue clubs. Dancer's who had told no one they were leaving town, and Anchorage police quietly formed what they called a dancer task force to look into these disappearances.

Starting point is 01:21:47 Then on September 12, 1982, two off-duty police officers were hunting and found a shallow grave on the banks of the Kinnick River, a possible break in this new case. According to the book Butcher Baker, the two men had little luck hunting and as darkness began to fall, they decided to call it a day. These guys were cutting across a wide sand bar when they noticed a boot sticking out of the sand. Upon closer inspection, they saw sticking out of the sand. It was actually a partially decomposed bone joint.

Starting point is 01:22:15 Once their minds registered, what they were looking at, both men backed up from the scene. The last thing they wanted to do was to stir or contaminate any evidence after making no to the location. Both men made their way out of the gorge back to their camp, back to Anchorage. Sergeant Raleigh Port had been assigned to cover this investigation.

Starting point is 01:22:30 A decorated Vietnam veteran, Port was considered one of the top investigators on the force. He was meticulous with every crime scene known to spend hours going over the smallest areas before disturbing the body. Port had photographs taken from every angle carefully examined the body itself for trace evidence before having it bagged. Afterwards he pulled out a large screen and began sifting to the sand around the body. It took several hours for him to finish sifting, but in the end it totally paid off. Line on the screen before him was a single shell casing from a 23, excuse me, caliber bullet. Port was familiar with this type of ammo,

Starting point is 01:23:05 knew that I was using high powered rifles like M16's, mini 14's and AR 15's. Back in Anchorage, our preliminary autopsy revealed that the victim was female of undetermined age had been dead for approximately six months. The cause of death was three gunshot wounds from the 223 caliber bullets. Ace bandages found mingled in with the remains

Starting point is 01:23:26 causing an investigator to suspect the victim had been blindfolded at the time of death. Took a little over two weeks to finally identify the body. She was, of course, Sherry Marrow, who had been reported missing a year earlier. Marrow had been shot in the back three times. The cartridges found near the body, suggested she had been shot with a 23, or 223, Ruger Mini 14 hunting rifle. Strange element to the scene was that although the body was found near the body, suggested ship and shot with a 23, Ruger mini 14 hunting rifle. Strange element to the scene was that although the body was found fully clothed, there were no bullet holes in the clothing.

Starting point is 01:23:51 They didn't investigate us to believe that Sherry had been naked when shot, then redressed after death. Anchorage police also knew by now that Sherry Marles Murder was not an isolated incident. However, they didn't want to spread fear, they didn't want to tip off the killer by going public. So when discussing Marles Murder with the anchor, Daily News, investigators said they doubted it was related to the disappearance of at least three other women since 1980. They

Starting point is 01:24:12 said, we don't believe we have a mass murder out there. Some psycho knocking off girls. Privately, the absolutely believe this, you know, they would be right. Alaska State trooper, Sergeant Lyle Hogsvin, was now assigned to determine whether or not Sherry-Morals murder was an isolated incident. One theory he pursued had Marlowe's killer going back and forth between Fairbanks and Anchorage. Another investigator, Lieutenant Patrick Kasnick, later explained this theory, saying, At the time the dancers were disappearing in Anchorage, evidently to meet the same fate as Sherry Marrow,

Starting point is 01:24:45 other women were being killed in Fairbanks. It was natural to take a look at those cases to see if there was any connection, the attempt to establish a link between the Fairbanks and Anchorage serial murders was both extensive and expensive, with our investigation relying on some of the most sophisticated computer systems available to time.

Starting point is 01:25:02 In the Fairbanks serial murders, the killer tied the victim's hands behind their backs, and we thought that was a key similarity to the Anchorage murders. A high-calibre weapon also used, and the Fairbanks killer blew the women's heads off in an attempt to destroy their faces. The bodies were left close to the road, moreover, with no effort to hide them. The FBI psychiatrist told us there was something ritualistic about the killings, but no apparent connection between the serial murders and Fairbanks and Anchorage. The mini computer analysis also told us no.

Starting point is 01:25:31 There was no concrete link between the killings in the two cities, even the autopsy results pointed in different directions. In 1982, this Fairbanks killer was identified. His name was Thomas Richard Bunday. Bunday was suspected of killing six women, but never arrested. On the day his arrest warrant was issued, he drove his motorcycle into oncoming traffic and killed himself. No one from the other vehicle was seriously injured and he saved the taxpayers a lot of money by doing that. So thanks, Richard. You did

Starting point is 01:25:59 at least one kind of good thing. You know, kind of good thing before you die. I guess I should say thanks, Thomas. Thanks, Thomas, Richard Bundey, weird similarity to Bundy. After realizing the Anchorage and Fairbank's murders were not connected, investigators reduced their area of investigative focus to just Anchorage and the surrounding towns, but they still didn't have a decent suspect.

Starting point is 01:26:20 Then on April 25th, 1983, Hanson struck again, killing Paula Golding, a 17 year old girl. Then finally, Hanson struck again, killing Paula Golding, a 17-year-old girl. Then finally, Hanson would slip up, investigated, would realize they'd found their man. On June 13th, 1983, 19-year-old Anchorage, Frostoot, Cindy Paulson was on an Anchorage Street Corner when she was approached by Hanson. When she agreed on a price with him, he asked for oral sex, she got into his truck. While she was going down on him, she looked up inside the barrel of a 357 magnum looking back down on her. And then Robert produced a pair of handcuffs from underneath his seat and snapped him on

Starting point is 01:26:53 to Cindy's wrist. Handsome would brag later that he had gotten good at the process of handcuffing women at gunpoint. He had way too much practice. Then he drove Cindy to his actual home. He's getting more reckless now. Maybe part of him wants to get caught. Maybe he's just getting cocky. Things he can take these girls to his actual house and still get away with it. He forces Cindy inside, drags her down to the basement. Excuse me, once down there, she saw all those trophy mounts

Starting point is 01:27:15 on the walls, Robert the handcuffs Cindy, and they get to a pillar in the center of the room where she was repeatedly raped and satomized for hours, casually took a nap. After five hours in Hanson's basement, Cindy had to relieve herself, but Hanson was asleep. And he'd warned her not to wake him up, she had a pee on a towel. Robert finally woke up, he made Cindy get dressed, then rehand cover, drove her to the Merrill Field Airport, where he pulled up alongside his small blue and white aircraft.

Starting point is 01:27:41 On the way there, Robert told her they were going to fly up to his cabin and the Alaska wilderness told her he had taken lots of girls up there, quote, for fun. Cindy saw her chance to escape as they arrived at the plane and the hunter got out. She pushed through the driver's door, ran towards the lights of Fifth Avenue. As she ran, she could, she could hear a hand in shouting, stop you bitch. Stop it. I'll kill you. Or more likely, says, says, says, stop. You, bu, bu, bu, bu, bu, bitch. Says, says, stop. I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll, handcuffs, the driver, 36-year-old Robin Yount. Sland on his brakes, send him, jump back into the truck screaming, he's going to kill me. Yount sped off with her on the truck, as instructed by Cindy. He took her to the mush in motel, spri- bounded by some relative of mine.

Starting point is 01:28:37 I would open the mush mouth, the mush mouth, motel next. When he got there, Cindy demanded to be let out. Yount drove on to where he worked and then immediately called the police. Sergeant Glenn Flothi said if Yount hadn't called the police, Cindy would have not reported it. Yount threw a phone call, put hands in back into police scrutiny. Need more good citizens. Can't do it alone.

Starting point is 01:29:00 Good job. Yount. Next to the former brewer's baseball, Mashra Robin Yount, you're my favorite Yount. Next to the former brewers baseball match at Robin Yount, you're my favorite Yount. You're my Robert Yount, second favorite Yount to Robin Yount. Officer Greg Baker of the Anchorage Police Department called to room 110 of the Big Timber Motel. When he entered the room,

Starting point is 01:29:16 he came upon a deeply agitated Cindy Paul and her hand still secured in front of her with handguffs. She had a single demand, get these handguffs off my wrist. He did and then he took Cindy to a hospital to have a sexual assault exam completed on her. The examination revealed vaginal bruising, the shackle marks around her neck and wrists, corroborate, her, you know, corroborated her story of being abducted. She was taken to Anchorage Police headquarters to be interviewed, Cindy managed to give police detailed descriptions of Robert's house, his car, his plane, his looks, didn't take the police long to find him.

Starting point is 01:29:47 When police interrogated Robert, he told them he was going to take Cindy out for a nice romantic weekend get away. He said he was shocked that she wanted to escape. This lunatic said, and I'm reading this verbatim. I'm not adding status this time. These us that I'm reading are actually written in. He said, I told her, you know, I was gonna take her out, I wanted to since, I told her the truth.

Starting point is 01:30:09 I was gonna take her out and we was going to spend the weekend together, but I couldn't fly it this time because it was dark, you know, and you can't fly the damn airplane in the dark. That was the reason for waiting. Then I waited until that, I could see out that it was beginning to get lights was I could I went and got her and put her in my car and I drove her out to the airport and I drove

Starting point is 01:30:35 her up to my airplane and I got out and started to put the seat of my airplane and when I got putting that seat in the airplane, she got out of the airplane and ran around the, the hangar there, pull her airways, and left, then I left and drove to my home, and she says, pause. I went in, I drove back, back to my home. So I mean, I mock this guy that is kind of how he spoke. This guy reminds me of an evil, evil,

Starting point is 01:31:03 ill-merfut. I kept thinking that during the research. I hope you can help me, Mr. Game Warden. I've been told I can shoot rabbits, Mongos, pigeons, dirty skunks, ducks. Can you tell me what season it we we is? Killed a wab, it's killed a wab, it's overall Hanson cooperative polite did not demonstrate any characteristics that suggested guilt, although strangely calm for someone, you know, falsie cues to what he was accused of, Hanson gave a detailed account of his movements, claiming that his wife and family were away in Europe and that he had been with two friends, John, some role, and John Henning, at the time he was accused of raping Cindy.

Starting point is 01:31:42 Both men, when interviewed, did back up his story. Hanson readily agreed to police searching his house, car and airplane, sign waivers, agreeing to all that stuff. Hanson had begged those guys, by the way, to back him up, telling them that a prostitute has mad at him over a previous money disagreement with trying now to falsely incriminate him and destroy him.

Starting point is 01:32:00 He guilt-tripped these guys and to give him an alibi, talking about how they didn't, his wife and kids would have their lives ruined. When police searched his house, it became clear from Cindy's detailed description that she had been there and that she had also been in the car. However, once again, it came down to this. He said she said the word of her respected local businessman, this time with an alibi against that of a prostitute with a police record.

Starting point is 01:32:24 And then upset that the police just didn't believe her over Hanson, Cindy refused to take a lie detector and that convinced William Dennis to close the case. However, another officer, Greg Baker, the policeman who taken to his complaint did still believe her. Thank God. And he kept thinking she was telling the truth, keeping Hanson in mind as more women went missing, waiting to catch him. Around this time, Anchorage investigators received an FBI profile on the man killing these

Starting point is 01:32:50 prostitutes. The profile said that the killer would be an experienced hunter with low self-esteem, have a history of being rejected by women, and would feel compelled to keep souvenirs of his murders, such as the victim's jewelry, or even body parts. The profile also said that the man would likely be in his 40s and likely married toolmen who's deeply religious and oblivious to his crimes. Obviously, Hanson fits this profile perfectly. On September 2nd, 1983, three months after the rape and kidnap of Cindy Paulson, a third grave found on the banks of the Kinnick River, the victim identified as another of the missing topless dancers this time, 17 year old Paula Golding.

Starting point is 01:33:29 Paula had been murdered in the exact same way as Sherry Marl, you know, also been redressed after death. Officer Greg Baker still convinced Hanson is the man looked into Hanson's background now and personal life back in the days before internet databases made this easy. Hanson eventually found the paperwork on Hanson revealing his prior convictions and prior charges against him. And then the butcher baker case set a legal precedent in 1983 when psychological profile was used as the main basis for issuing search warrants on Hanson's property. A report detailing Greg Baker's suspicions in a copy of Hanson's criminal record were

Starting point is 01:34:04 sent to Sergeant Glenn Flothe of the Alaskan State Troopers who was heading the topless dancers' task force. Flothe agreed that Hanson should be considered a suspect and he began his own investigation into Hanson's background. The more he learned, the more he became convinced he'd found his killer. And Flothe decided to reopen the Cindy Paulson case in an attempt to obtain evidence against Hanson. Sergeant Flothe put in a shitload of work.

Starting point is 01:34:26 The termary in Hanson had to be the guy. The muscle inside his skull work and overtime for weeks and weeks to do an investigator with a computer now could do in a few minutes. Flosie conducted a systematic review of the state's missing persons data. Slowly and methodically, he developed a matrix of possible serial murder victims, one that included pictures of the women their files the dates They were last seen anything else you could come up with Now if it fit it went on this list

Starting point is 01:34:51 Classic old school detective work, you know that we've watched in so many true crime movies. I love it Floodly would later state it was tedious work sorting through their their disrupted lives There were women who had fought with abusive lovers and presumably left town for good, leaving nothing but a few darkened one-minute photos behind. There were teenage runaways. Some missing one night found the next. Many more cast a drift to become. Who knows what?

Starting point is 01:35:18 From this tragic assemblage, Flulty was able to compile eight similar cases. What Flulty was looking for was a pattern, and he found it. With one exception, the victims were in their 20s. They ranged in height from 5 foot 4 to 5 foot 7, weighed between 120 and 125 pounds, where slim and usually busty. Whoever was kidnapping and or killing these young women had a definite type. And when Cindy Paulson's file came across, desk, Flothe immediately saw she fit this type. Flothe re-interviewed Hanson's friends, Henning and Summeral about Hanson's alibi,

Starting point is 01:35:50 and informed them that he was threatening to charge them with perjury. The threat worked. Both men admitted they lied to help Hanson out. That, you know, Hanson told them, you know, he was in this embarrassing domestic situation, when both men retracted their statements and order was issued for Hanson's arrest. Fucking hell, Nimrod. Investigators followed Hanson to his bakery, asked him to come with them to the police station for questioning on October 27, 1983. They did right after they bought all his remaining doughnuts and asked him if it was possible

Starting point is 01:36:22 to preserve them for months and slowly enjoy them day after day later. They didn't do that, but I wish they did. All right, buddy, hands in the air. You're under arrest. Actually, wait, hands back down. What's in the oven right now? Holy shit, that smells divine. Is that Mabel bars?

Starting point is 01:36:37 How long till they're done? Okay. All right, 15 minutes. We're gonna sit here and ask some coffee. You mind popping them out? Then, don't go anywhere. Cause we're gonna rest the fuck out of you after you take out those maple bars.

Starting point is 01:36:49 When he was arrested, Hanson never even bothered asked why. They wanted to talk to him, agreed to go along. He's calm and collected. At the Anchorage trooper station, Sargent Flosie had stage manage an interview room following pointers from the FBI. I think this is so cool.

Starting point is 01:37:02 The effort they put into this. Hanson was placed in an interview room, carefully set up for this exact interrogation. I love it. I love stories about people doing their jobs so fucking thoroughly and well. I got a hard work bone right now. Rock hard over thoroughness.

Starting point is 01:37:17 There were maps of the Kinnick River along the walls, pictures of the grave sites, the victims on the desk that were files and folders with the names of Hanson's family, friends and acquaintances. Robert was intentionally left to sit in a room dedicated to him. Sit there, get uncomfortable, let him look at the maps, let him look at all the pictures of the names, let it all sink in, but they fucking had him. They watched him through a two-way mirror, a little while later, flowed the insurgent,

Starting point is 01:37:43 Darryl, Galen, enter the room, begin an interview with Hanson that would last for five hours. While Hanson's been interviewed, another team of officers searching his house in plain. They find weapons throughout the house, but the weapon they need to find, the one that he used in those murders,

Starting point is 01:37:58 they can't find. Towards the end of the interrogation after all this work, it was starting to look like Hanson might actually get away with it. He's not spilling any beans. But then right before a call in the day, one starting to look like Hanson might actually get away with it. He's not spilling any beans. But then right before calling it a day, one of the officer's search in Hanson's home discovers a hidden space tucked away in the attic rafters. Behind some wooden paneling in his trophy room, police find items of cheap jewelry. More trophies that would soon be traced back to dead victims.

Starting point is 01:38:18 Among the significant items Hanson had kept a fish necklace that had been custom made for victim Andrea Alteria. There were also newspaper clippings, a driver's license to some of the victims, various ID cards, and the police found the most damning evidence of all. The Ruger Mini 14 hunting rifle. Hansen used to kill multiple weapon, multiple weapon. What am I even saying? Multiple women, it was hidden under some floorboards.

Starting point is 01:38:44 Well done, Anchorage PD. Get this motherfucker. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ballistic testing would soon prove that the gun, that they found was the gun used to kill Sherry, Marrow, and others. And then the cherry on the evidence Sunday, investigators find an aviation map of the Anchorage region dotted with 20 drawn on asterisk as handsome x's these uh... three of these corresponded with sites where bodies that already been

Starting point is 01:39:09 found handsome of course initially denied any connection with the murders but when confronted with insurmountable evidence he decided to confess he admitted that the asterisk on the map with the grave sites of prostitutes that he had murdered and then a handsome told investigators that he hadn't killed every girl, hadn't killed them all, is that they made him a decent dude?

Starting point is 01:39:28 Is that they'd understand that he only killed, you know, the bad ones? He claimed that he only wanted oral sex and if the girls complied, they were phone home. No big whoops, all in good fun. And then he told them that if they resisted, if they rejected him, that he'd forced them to strip a gunpoint and then make them run.

Starting point is 01:39:43 Then he told them some more even uh... you know or told him more just disturbing shit he said he's naked and afraid women would usually be given a head start and then and that hands in with stock and hunt them like an animal sometimes the sadistic fuck would allow them to think they'd escaped then track them down again capture them rape them again

Starting point is 01:40:00 and make them run again this would continue until they were too cold and exhausted to continue running and then he'd shoot and kill them. On November 3rd, 1983, an anchorage grand jury returned four indictments against this piece of shit. They were first degree assault and kidnapping, five counts of misconduct and possession of a handgun, theft in the second degree, theft of deception and insurance fraud is bail was said at half a million dollars and don't worry, more charges are coming. These are just the quickest ones they can make stick. On November 20th, 1983, Ballistics tests results came back from the FBI crime lab in Washington

Starting point is 01:40:33 DC, official determined that the shell casings found at the gravesites had been fired from Hansen's rifle. The firing pin, the extractor markings were identical. On February 18th, 19 24, Hansen pled guilty to four counts of first degree murder in the cases of Paula Goodling, Joanna Messina, or Joanna Messina, Sherry Marrow, and the, Eklutna Annie. Hansen had his defense attorney, Fred Dewey, arranging a meeting with Anchorage DA, Victor Crum, during the meeting, Crum offered Hansen a deal and this is where the story gets shitty again.

Starting point is 01:41:06 In exchange for a full confession, in exchange for helping investigators locate all the bodies the DA agreed to only sentence him to 12 years in prison. In 1992, he'd be paroled early for good behavior. In 1995, he would open a new bakery in Fairbanks, a bakery that closed when Hanson retired with a lot of money in 2011, now 80 years old Hanson lives currently with his wife Gloria in Fairbanks.

Starting point is 01:41:33 And unfortunately that takes us out of today's time suck timeline. Good job soldier. Kidding of course, Out of fucking suck. That's how they send it. Now, in exchange for a full confession, prosecutors guaranteed Hanson that he would only be charged with the four cases of murder that they knew of that he would be able to serve his time

Starting point is 01:41:54 in a federal facility rather than a maximum security institution. The deal also stipulated that the press would not be involved which I think is how Hanson's kids were able to be kept out of the papers. After both sides signed off in the agreement, Hanson gave police a 12-hour confession during which he admitted to killing 17 women and burying their remains in the wilds outside of Anchorage. Here is Hanson describing one of his typical abductions. Minus the stutters, just because they'll take forever if I did it that way. It'd be another two hours.

Starting point is 01:42:23 I pulled out the gun. I think the standard speech was, look, you're a professional. You don't get excited and you know there's some risk to what you've been doing. If you do exactly what I tell you, you're not going to be hurt. You're just going to count us off as a bad experience and be a little more careful next time who you are going to proposition or go out with. I tried to act as tough as I could

Starting point is 01:42:41 to get them scared as possible. Give that right away even before I started talking at all, reach over, you know, and hold that head back and put a gun in her face and get him to feel helpless, scared right there. I'm sure. Maybe it's not the same procedure for you. You always try to get control of the situation. So some things don't start going bad, maybe. I've seen some cop shows on TV.

Starting point is 01:43:00 I don't know, okay. I love these trying to fucking relate to them. It's a lot like what you do. It's like, you know how you like, I mean, you like arrest people and you know, and put handcuffs out of them and read on the rights and stuff. And I put a gun to women's heads and force them to suck my dick. It's like, it's, it's a very similar profession if you look at it from a way that doesn't make sense. Hanson also indicated that he began killing his early as 1973, told investigators that once he had a victim under his control

Starting point is 01:43:26 and opened the woods near his cabin, hunting them was like going after a trophy doll sheep or a grizzly bear. For a little more insight into the mind of Hanson, here's a portion of his confession to district attorney, victory, victor crum. Crum asks, why did you drive out to the road instead of just going to a hotel or a motel in town?

Starting point is 01:43:43 Just talking about some of the early killings. You know, Hansen says, you know, if you go to a motel or something with it, it's more or less like a prostitution deal. I'm going and, or you, I, you know, I guess I'm trying to even convince myself, maybe I wasn't really buying sex. It was being given to me in the aspect that I was good enough, that it was being given to me.

Starting point is 01:44:02 See, that's fucking psychology. I have like, he's just still in high school. He still just wants girls, he's attracted to, just just give me what I want. If I can explain that a little bit better, gentlemen. I love when pieces are shit, you terms like gentlemen. Like when they're talking about the most terrific things, I always make me extra angry.

Starting point is 01:44:18 And someone's like, okay, so a lot of times, I would just bug and rape him for hours. And just make them think that they were gonna die and talk about how they were pieced to shit. Now I was going to find their family later and fucking kill them too. I mean, listen, gentlemen, sorry about the language, but let me share some more details of what a piece of, I almost, of crap, of crap I am. He says, going back to my life, way back to my high school days and so forth, I was, I guess what you might call very frustrated upset all the time. Yeah. I would see my friends and so forth going out

Starting point is 01:44:49 on dates. I think he's using the term friends here very loosely and so forth and had a tremendous desire to do the same thing. From the scars and so forth on my face, you can probably see. I can see why girls wouldn't want to get close to me. And when I'm nervous and upset like this here, if I, I'll try to demonstrate if I think about exactly what I'm going to say. And if I talk slow, I can keep myself from stuttering. But at the time during my junior high or high school days, I could not control my speech at all. I was always so embarrassed and upset with different people making fun of me that I hated the word school. I guess this is why I burned down

Starting point is 01:45:22 the bus way back in Iowa. I can remember going up and talking to someone, a man or a woman, classmate or whatever, start to say something, start to stutter so badly that especially in the younger years, I would run away crying, run off some place and hide for a day or so. The worst was that I was the rebuttal of all the girls around the school and so forth. The jokes, if I could have faced it, I know now I could have faced it and laughed along with him. Then I would have stopped, but I couldn't at the time and it just,

Starting point is 01:45:50 it got so it controlled me, I didn't control it. I mean, he really did let the anger and shame of getting shot down in high school, build a rage inside of him that would lead to killing women. It was that angry, right? Over 20 years after graduating, over childhood dishes, may have fuck high school in junior high. It's six years, seven if you count six, great.

Starting point is 01:46:11 Nothing in the big scheme of things. Get the fuck over it. I don't know if I'll starve this guy. Oh boohoo, you got bullied. Now you're using that as excuse to kill people. Go fuck yourself. And then Robert said why he chose prostitutes for victims. I didn't start to hate all women as a matter of fact.

Starting point is 01:46:25 I would venture to say I started to fall in love with every one of them. Every one of them became so precious to me. Because I wanted there, I wanted their friendship. I wanted them to like me so much. On top of things that have appeared or assumed me, on top of things that have happened, I don't want to. I'm not saying that I hate all women. I don't quite do the contrary.

Starting point is 01:46:44 If I guess in my own mind what I'm classifying is a good woman, not a prostitute. I do everything in my power, anyway, shape or form to do anything for her and to see that no harm ever came to her. But I guess prostitutes or women, I'm putting down as lower than myself. I don't know if I'm making sense or not.

Starting point is 01:47:00 And you know, when this started to happen, I wanted, you know, it happened the first time there, you know, and I went home and I was literally sick to my stomach. Over the years, I've gone in many topless and bottomless bars in town and so forth. And never, never touched one of the girls there in any way, shape or form until they asked. It's like, it's like it was a game. They had to pitch the ball before I could bat. They had to approach me first saying about I get off at a certain time we could go out and have a good time or something like this here if they don't we were playing the game right

Starting point is 01:47:32 They had to approach me. I've talked to I suppose I made it a point to try to talk to every girl in there Sometimes if I thought there was a possibility that she didn't say it the first time But she might come back and say it again now I've invited two or three table dances with her and comment to her, how nice she looked and everything else. I try to keep it in a joking tone. Gosh, you know, you sure would be something, you know, for later on, but that's as far as it would go until she then had to make, I guess, play out my fantasy.

Starting point is 01:48:02 She had to come out and say, we could do it, but it's going to cost you some money. Then she was no longer, I guess, what you might call a decent girl. I didn't look down at the girl's dancing. What the hell? They're just trying to make a buck. And then Flothy said, but when they propositioned you, that made things different. And then Hanson said, yes. I don't totally buy this prostitute's explanation.

Starting point is 01:48:24 I think he chose them because it was easier to approach them. It was easy to kind of see the goods if you will see what he wanted and then just easier to get away with killing them. And he says, all this is all him just trying to somehow make himself look like a less of a fucking monster. As part of that plea deal, Robert agreed to help detectives uncover where he'd buried many of his victims. This is a task Hanson seemed to sickly enjoy the butcher baker showed

Starting point is 01:48:45 in vascular 17 grave sites and the connect river valley. It's 12 of which were unknown to the police during a helicopter tour the grave sites he would frequently become visibly excited, reliving the murders over and over in his head. Hand cuffed Hansen would plow through chest high snow drifts and triumphantly point out graves of his victims. He was loving this. Sometimes he dropped to his knees and dig furiously with his bare hands, wild eyed with a broad grin on his face. He's a fucking psycho. By the end of 1924, 11 bodies had been found of a probable 21, 10 of which have been formally identified. Then on February 27, 1924, Robert Hansen, who had not shown a flicker of remorse to any of these women, sends to 461

Starting point is 01:49:25 years plus life without the possibility of parole. Less than three hours later sent to the lemon creek prison in Juneau. Mr. Hansen told Alaska State troopers he'd also raved more than 30 additional women that he didn't kill. More trophies wanted to make sure those extra 30 raves were put on his record. Years earlier, he wanted people to know exactly how big the animals were that he killed with a with a bow now he wanted the world to know how many women he'd hurt. When he was sentenced judge moody siding mr. Hanson's previous records of abduction and either attempted or actual rape of prostitutes said regarding our how our culture views prostitutes I cannot think of a bigger indictment of society than we have here.

Starting point is 01:50:05 This gentleman here has been known to us for several years, he said. We've turned him loose several times. Prostitutes he complained about how Hanson had treated them long before he was apprehended, but the police had doubted their credibility because of their profession. Assistant district attorney Frank Rothschild added, three of the four murders Mr. Hanson pleaded guilty to were committed in the period that he would have been in prison had he served the full five years. Rothschild also told the judge before you sits a monster, an extreme aberration of a human being who has walked amongst us.

Starting point is 01:50:37 Not even his wife of 20 years had any inkling of his dark evil side, his crimes numb the mind. In 1988, Hanson became one of the first inmates in the new maximum security spring creek correctional center in Seward, moved there because it was a discover that Hanson was collecting material, including aeronautical maps that indicated he was trying to escape from lemon creek. After two years of having her children harassed at school, Mrs. Hanson filed from divorce from Robert. Can't believe she waited two years.

Starting point is 01:51:05 She moved with her, there are two kids at the lower 48 states and I'm guessing changed their names and then no one in Hanson's family ever contacted him again. And then on August 21, 2014, Robert Hanson finally passed away. He died at the age of 75 at the Alaska Regional Hospital in Anchorage due to an undisclosed, lingering health condition. For his final meal, he had two chocolate long johns, one vanilla frosty with sprinkles on half of it, a French crueler, and a glazed old fashioned. And his final words were, I'll see you all in, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha,

Starting point is 01:51:40 haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, haha, You got got, damn it! I'll see you in, ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ah, fuck it! Matt takes us out of today's time suck, timeline. Good job, soldier. You've made it back. Barely. BAM! BAM!

Starting point is 01:51:59 BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM! To be clear, I of course made up his final meal. Final last words. That is the real story of the butcher baker. Hanson was the most active serial killer in a laskin history.

Starting point is 01:52:12 One has to wonder if Robert Hanson ever read Richard Connell's 1924 short story, the most dangerous game. The book recounts the story of a steamed old war general. Board with trapping animals, he lures a big game hunter to his island, forces his ship to be wrecked and then challenges him to a competition. The point of the competition is that the general will hunt the hunter for three days, and should he elude him, the general will allow the hunter to live. In the end, the hunter emerges victorious, though the tale alludes to the fact that the moral ambiguity of hunting shall perhaps never be resolved.

Starting point is 01:52:43 Since Connell's story was published in 1924, the concept of a man hunting man for sport has captivated people. I mean, just think about the hunger, hunger games movies, you know? Thankfully that's just fiction. While unfortunately Robert Hansen was all too real. Time now for today's top five takeaways. Time, suck, top five takeaways. Number one. Take aways. Number one, Robert Hanson became known as the butcher baker because, you know, he was a

Starting point is 01:53:12 baker. And people like the Liberation, so the press out of the word butcher. Again, weird combo, murder, and donuts. Number two, Hanson committed the only known killing spree in which multiple women were flown into the wilderness for the least and then literally hunted like animals. Thank God we don't know of other serial killers doing this. Number three, Hanson's case set up a legal precedent in 1983 when psychological profiling was used as the main basis for issuing search warrants on Hanson's property.

Starting point is 01:53:40 Since then, psychological profiling has become a big part of the hunt for the 25 to 50 serial killers walking the American streets at any given moment. Number four, because of the sex worker stigma that prostitutes had, they received less help from the law, and their murders were given arguably much less press than they would have been given if they would have been quote unquote, you know, normal women. Hanson got away with rape many times because he like so many other serial killers prayed on some of the most vulnerable, some of the least valued members of society. We got to work on reducing that stigma, reducing that judgment. A long time friend of the show would like to add to that message in his own

Starting point is 01:54:18 words, a guy who really, truly uses his own words. Bye, bye, play, bye, bye. No reason to look down on working girl. We all just some of his clown We all somebody's fool We'll make a beggar think you better than a hooker slaying cards to sugar. You used to die, but he's pushing Not getting paid to touch the strangest tank. Don't automatically make yourself insane Rationalizing murder and rape pull Robert Hansava, Hanson, all sour grapes, because he wore no good roe, roe, roe, roe, roe, roe, roe, roe, Hanson. I was chicken Joe's way of saying that not being a prostitute doesn't make you better than

Starting point is 01:54:52 being a prostitute, and instead judging them, maybe it's just folks on yourself. And I think he also just took a shot at Bob Stutter. Number five, last takeaway, something I didn't mention, Mr. Hansen was the subject of a decent 2013 film I watched to kind of get into the mindset for this suck, the frozen ground. Stars Nicholas Cage as an Alaskan State trooper investigating the slanes, actor John Qzak portrays Mr. Hansen, Vanessa Hudgens plays the prostitute and victim in the film is revived.

Starting point is 01:55:20 It's not amazing, but if you are really interested in this topic, you might want to check it out. It's fun to watch Nicholas Cage just play Nicholas Cage and almost every movie he's in, including this one. Time, suck, tough, five, take away. Robert Hansen sucked another example of how not to live your life. Do make tasty donuts. Don't hunt people in the woods. We were having a lot of dark laughter

Starting point is 01:55:46 at Hanson's expense past few hours here in the stock dungeon. Just Joe and I, just thinking about how, you know, he would be like during consensual sex. Like what if he was like a dirty talker with his wife? What if he stuttered so long they would go from present to past tense in situations just like, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you care if I, do you care if I, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you,

Starting point is 01:56:08 do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you,

Starting point is 01:56:16 do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, do you, time suck high priest Alex Dubin, the guy's at Bidelixer, danger brain, acts as a peril, thanks to Zach, such a script keeper flannery for going dark with me in the research this week. Next week on time suck, we tackle a subject that we consider the trial of a century when it occurred in 1994, former national football league,

Starting point is 01:56:41 superstar broadcaster, actor O.J. Simpson, tried on two counts of murder for the June 12th 1994 gruesome murders of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson and her friend Ron Goldman. Over 90 million people watched the final verdict of the trial. And about as many of her watching his famous white Bronco and O.J. took police on one of the slowest chases in LA history. Well, there's a ton known about the case and trial itself, we want to take an in-depth look at OJ's life before and after the killings of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. That's what I'm curious about.

Starting point is 01:57:11 We'll still touch on the trial, but there was so much life led before and after it. This time, so it gets in the murder mystery, we know OJ killed his wife and a friend. This episode will be the story of OJ Simpson's rise from poverty to record breaking athletic greatness, then his unforgettable fall. We'll also of OJ Simpson's rise from poverty to record breaking athletic greatness, then his unforgettable fall. We'll also follow OJ's unfortunate life choices after the trial of the century from a series

Starting point is 01:57:31 of stupid crimes, a handful of accidental admissions of guilt to his epic and not at all ridiculous rap song and video put out in 2006. Join us next week for a time suck on OJ Simpson that I would look and forward to for quite some time. And now some time sucker updates. Keep in mind, all these are from a few weeks ago. So nothing since last week's revolutionary war suck. First update comes in from a kick ass sucker.

Starting point is 01:58:03 I'm going to leave her name anonymous because I don't want her to get in trouble. She writes, his suckerness, the mother sucka. I may or may not be a normal mom. I am the one that drops the kiddo off in the morning as my husband needs to be to work earlier than I. Anyway, we listen to a lot of podcasts on the drive. And sometime in the middle of a time suck,

Starting point is 01:58:20 that I just don't wanna turn off, I'll keep listing. My little man is named Jack. He's five years old, he completely obsessed with the want to turn off. I'll keep listing. My little man is named Jack. He's five years old, completely obsessed with the Mothman episode. He loves creepy shit. I love little Jack. Anyway, my husband also appreciates the suck, but does not like it when I let Jack listen

Starting point is 01:58:34 because obviously the content is a little mature and also because my kid remembers everything and it would now be out of the question for him to recite the Clean Wean Commercial at a Family Function. Jack loves a good commercial and recommending good products. I feel like I'm a rebel because my parents wouldn't even let me watch PG 13 movies until I was 12. So even though I know it may not be appropriate. In the end, my need to rebel against my denial of PG 13 movies has made me say, fuck it.

Starting point is 01:58:58 For real though, it's hilarious how many times I hear myself say to Jack, now that was a bad word. Please do not repeat it. Or suck master is an adult and can swear You are a kid so you can't or just don't repeat any of what you just heard It could be a drinking game actually and Jack always asks mom. Can we listen to time suck? I won't tell dad Reason I finished the analyst Michelle suck my kid likes Phoebe shit And he was very interested in the discussion of burned shit. Oh, that's right. This smell of burn poo And and before you went to the bathroom, you had to remind me that human poo is the worst smelling poo.

Starting point is 01:59:28 I am getting a little ADD here, but a tangent on that suck. I actually wrote a scholarly research paper from my undergrad degree on whether or not exorcisms do more harm than good, and if they should still be performed. I was inspired after the exorcism of Emily Rose came out, which is based on Michelle's story. I did most of my research at night after work, and even though I found myself, or I find myself more than a little agnostic, I had a hard time reading hostage to the devil.

Starting point is 01:59:54 I would think, damn. So, like, if the devil is real, is what I'm going to do, make me more susceptible to the devil, am I going to get possessed? Is it too late to find a new topic? Start a new project? Why the fuck did I pick this topic? If you were able to follow my train of thought, you're one of the few, and rock on. Is it too late to find a new topic? Start a new project? Why the fuck did I pick this topic?

Starting point is 02:00:05 If you were able to follow my train of thought, you're one of the few and rock on. Thanks for adding to one of the many random things that my kid and I bond over, also me and my husband, just not all together, anonymous. Thank you, anonymous. It's not like a fun mom. It's not like a fun mom to me.

Starting point is 02:00:19 It's not like you communicate a lot with your kid, which is so important, obviously. Glad times, so it's a place where you and your son can enjoy the same humor, where you and your husband can enjoy that same humor as well, even though it's not at the same time. And I know you did sign your name, but I'll let me say, but I just,

Starting point is 02:00:34 I wanted to give you a chance to deny sending this. If your husband gets mad, it's like, come on! I know it's you! No, you don't. No, you don't, dude. Could be all kinds of little jacks out there. Talking about clean wins, talking about poo. Why don't you calm down? you don't, dude. Could be all kinds of little jacks out there, talking about clean wins, talking about poo. What'd you, why don't you calm down?

Starting point is 02:00:46 You don't know. As soon to be dad, JD Toner sends in some hilarious fake angst born out of temporary but real panic. JT writes, Dan, you bastard. I took a break from the podcast to binge others and I'm now catching back up. I just started on the last suck of 2018. Well, I do some side work to earn a little extra cash

Starting point is 02:01:04 because my wife is pregnant with our first child. We go tomorrow morning for our initial long appointment with the OBGYN to learn what to expect, what insurance will pay, versus what will be responsible for, et cetera. And you're here talking about how processed peanut butter is so terribly bad for developing fetuses. We believe processed foods are a legitimate concern

Starting point is 02:01:22 and you had me freaking the fuck out because my wife loves peanut butter. One of her only quote unquote, vices and she eats it all the time. I'm here thinking that while she's eating healthy during the pregnancy, now we're actually doom in our future child to a likely life with no limbs. Fuck you, you stupid asshole. I hope my unborn limbless child still has some type of cock, even if it's soft to fuck you.

Starting point is 02:01:46 Uh, Chikotilo soft shamecock style when he comes of age. That's a weird hope for your kid. Hail Nimrod, you hilarious fuckhead. Here's the hoping for a completely healthy, strong dick Luciferian worshipper to pay you back for this worry with some sweet, sweet no shamecock fucking once this kid hits pervert H.J.J. Toner. Oh, thank hits pretty JT toner. Oh, thank you, JT.

Starting point is 02:02:06 I forgot about that one. I forgot about how eating peanut butter makes so your kid doesn't have limbs. I've told so many ridiculous lies. I was thinking for a second, you were talking about when I told people that if you did this one thing, you'd end up with an ant baby, though to have an exoskeleton.

Starting point is 02:02:20 Next update and then congrats on the upcoming baby, for real. Next update from the awesome sucker Justin Anderson messages like these motivators to do the best job we possibly can here. Justin writes, dear Lord master doctor, sucking tin walker, both jangles, retriever of his mighty turds. I like that one. I'm a huge fan of standoff comedy. It is because of this love that I started to listen to and became a great fan of yours in or around 2012. Your Pandora station has led me to find such great artists as Chad Daniels, K Trevor Wilson. The first suck I listened to was H.H. Holmes and I've been hooked ever since. The black doll you suck was one I'd waited a long time for.

Starting point is 02:02:55 You brought a level of clarity to a subject that I've been waiting for an unbiased hand to show it some light. I have read many accounts of the killing most were written from the perspective of someone trying to solve what is seemingly unsolvable. Many writers taken on a horrific murder, Truman Capote, you are no Truman Capote. That's fair. Downbow, Jangles, I'm sorry.

Starting point is 02:03:14 Okay, okay, Dan is way better than Truman guy, whatever, I was distracted. Back to the episode, I had never heard the story without a writer's bias. This was honestly the first time I heard a Elizabeth Smart story without someone claiming to know who would kill her. Or Elizabeth Short, yeah, I time I heard a Elizabeth smart story without someone claiming to know who would kill her or Elizabeth short. Yeah, I lose. I think there was another Elizabeth smart. You taught me more and one podcast about the life and death of the unfortunate

Starting point is 02:03:32 miss short than any three novels or shit movies. Thank you. I've been curious for years and now I can bury my curiosity. Just kidding. You will always be curious. Well, thank you because I'm always worried that in two hours, we just can't fit enough. And I get worried that I don't want to add so many details that it becomes what I myself couldn't listen to early on, which is overly detailed podcasts that just I just tune out because they're not engaging, but then also I get annoyed with so many podcasts that they're just literally just skimming off a Wikipedia page and just kind of half-ass throwing details out throughout a lot of banter and I can't follow that either. So I'm happy for you at least.

Starting point is 02:04:05 We're walking the line in a good way. That makes me feel real good. And now before I get to follow myself, a pronunciation update from Lisa, Thompson Clap, from the Black Dahlia episode, Lisa writes, Dear Lord Suck Master Supreme, he who is most unholy. Now that the pleasantries are out of the way, I have a pronunciation correction for the Black Dahlia Suck. Imagine my surprise when you mentioned my hometown. And I,, it's, oh, yeah, you say it's long poke, long poke, California. When you're talking about the Van and Berg Air Force base,

Starting point is 02:04:31 you like countless others pronounce it as long pock when it is in fact, long poke. The pronunciation issue is one of the bane of my town's existence, even people from neighboring town say it incorrectly. So I had to jump on that one. Anyway, my husband and I have been long time fans of comedy after discovering the suck last year. I'm a weekly listener, love what you do. Keep on sucking, Hailu's a Fina. Hailu's a Fina, thank you Lisa. Thanks for that correction.

Starting point is 02:04:53 Yeah, sometimes it is tricky unless you're there. And last, a very negative high-tune review. You know, I'm sharing this because I almost always choose to share positive messages. Because I don't want to encourage negativity. There's plenty of that on the web, you can find it easy. And honestly, most messages we do get are positive. But, you know, plenty of people don't like what I do.

Starting point is 02:05:11 I don't want you to think I'm just like, oh, everything's fucking great, everybody loves me. I know they don't. And I decided to check recent ratings and reviews at TimeStuck and iTunes other day. And just to see what the general consensus is. And one person's specific hatred made me laugh so hard. I know a lot of you are also creative types and while you obviously want to create art

Starting point is 02:05:30 the pleases, you know, someone, hopefully someone in addition to yourself, you know, possibly lots of people, you know, that does feel good. Just never forget that you can't please everybody. You just can't, no matter what you do. So don't let the negativity of certain people get you down. You got to learn to laugh at it. And I for sure cannot please Jake 92786 who left a one star review and wrote the dramatic final straw as a subject line. That alone I was like, okay, final straw. And then Jake wrote, the black dollia is the last episode I'll listen to within

Starting point is 02:06:07 the first 20 minutes, about 10 minutes was him joking around his long unfunny tangents. In fact, the first thing he talks about in this episode is a joke. I get the joking lightens the mood, he can help listing, but come on about a murder. Well, then you actually, you actually don't get it then. And spend five minutes joking about her dad being a miniature gold miniature golf maker? Seriously, listen from 1645 to 2010 and tell me this is funny. At least get the story going before joking left and right. I also never have heard someone laugh at his own jokes

Starting point is 02:06:42 as much as Dan. This dude has gone too far with it. I honestly don't know how people can enjoy this anymore. Well Jake first off, why do I think it's okay to joke about murder because that is how they do it in Hollywood. And second, show this. Third, just listen in the comedy section of the podcast, you fucking half wit. What made me laugh in this review almost as much as I laugh my own jokes is the specific timecode detail.

Starting point is 02:07:10 I love that he hated this episode so much. He's listening episode. He's listened to for free, by the way, that he goes back and makes timecode notes. He's like, oh, fucking where exactly do I hate this the most? From 1645. I gotta keep listening. No, that's, I hate that the most? From 1645. I gotta keep listin'. No, I hate that, but not, oh wait, I don't quite hate that.

Starting point is 02:07:29 Okay, to 2010. Goddammit. Well, Jake, I am jealous of one thing about you at least. How much free time you have? How much free time you must have to just write needlessly specific one-star reviews. Also, Jake, if you're mad about what I'm saying right now, go fuck yourself. You're not supposed to listen anymore. And thank you for the laughs.

Starting point is 02:07:47 I may not be able to give you any, but you've just given me so many. You know, in addition to the laughs, I give myself. I think I do think I'm pretty funny. Hope I never see you. You sound like a real bomber to be around. I feel like you'd probably just get my shabbles. Real angry, m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m anyone this week it's really not nice keep on making delicious donuts if you do make them and there's one more thing keep on sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss Oh my god! Fuck it!

Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 148 - Robert "The Butcher Baker" Hansen

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