Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 154 - The Outlaw Jesse James and the James-Younger Gang

Starting point is 00:00:00 Jesse James was one of the most infamous bank and train robbers in the history of the American Old West, the image of the outlaw, narrowly escaping capture after another brazen bank or train robbery. Guns of blazing, saddle to top, a galloping getaway steed is an iconic image of the American Old West. James is one of the leading members of the James younger gang of outlaws. A man involved in numerous holdups that left far too many men dead. Jesse robbed and killed for the entirety of his adult life.

Starting point is 00:00:26 And he made a lot of enemies and also gathered a lot of admirers during a long criminal run. Robert Pinkerton, son of Alan Pinkerton, founder of America's first private detective agency, not an admirer. When speaking to a reporter for the Richmond Democrat on November 20th, 1879, he said, I consider Jesse James the worst man without any exception in America. He is utterly devoid of fear and has no more compunction about cold blooded murder than he has about eating his breakfast. The editor of the Lexington Lexington Kentucky's questionably named 19th century paper, the

Starting point is 00:01:03 weekly Caucasian, wrote about Jesse and his fellow gang members in nothing but glowing terms in an article written on October 17th, 1874. All the annals of romantic crime furnished no parallel to the exploits of Missouri's bold rovers. Since Ishmael hung out his shingle 37 centuries ago in the deserts of Eden. As a dashing, untamable boss brigand, they have been unsurpassed. They've laid a Latin in the shade and snuffed out all his marvel hatching lamps. They've eclipsed the wildest wonders of the Arabian

Starting point is 00:01:36 nights and rendered commonplace the most incredible achievements of the Sid. They've made the tales of the Crusaders and the Buccaneers stale nursery crunies, Achilles and Hector, Barabbas, Rob Roy, Dick Tarpen and 16 string Jack Dwindle to ordinary marauders beside them. John Edwards, editor of the Sedalya Democrat also seemed to have a lot of love for Jesse James, writing the following for James April 1882, obituary. We called him outlaw and he was, but fate made him so. When the war closed, Jesse James had no home, hunted, shot, driven away, a price upon his

Starting point is 00:02:15 head. What else could the man do except what he did? When he was hunted, he turned savagely about and hunted his hunters. Summon up the legend of Jesse James decades after his death early in mid 20th century American poet Carl Sandberg said Jesse James is the only American who is classical, who is to this country what Robin Hood is to England, whose exploits are so close to the mythical. James was a hero to some and a cold-blooded murdering thief to others. His divided legacy reflected the divided time and place he lived in.

Starting point is 00:02:51 Jessi was born in Missouri, a state far more culturally split than most in the years leading up to during and immediately following the Civil War. Officially, Missouri fought for the union, but culturally it was a southern Dixie state through and through. Missouri was a border state tucked into the Midwest, sharing traits of all the regions around it, the industrialness of the Northeast, the pioneer self-sustaining family farms, the Northwest, and the slaveholding plantation traditions of the South. 75% of Missouri's population was from the South or from other border states comprised of people primarily from the south or from other border states comprised of people primarily from the south.

Starting point is 00:03:26 Jesse's own family heritage was southern. Clay County where he was born and raised was especially southern in culture. And Missouri as a whole slaves accounted for only 10% of the state population, but in Clay County they constituted 25%. Missouri was a very atypical union ally. The state entered the union in 1821 as a slave state following the Missouri compromise of 1820. When Congress agreed that slavery would be illegal in all Louisiana purchase territory, north of the 36 degrees and 30 foot line of latitude, except Missouri. Missouri was a northern state with a culture that was largely pro ConfederateConfederate

Starting point is 00:04:05 and pro-slavery, and when the Civil War broke out much of Mezzuri went to battle with itself. And James family, as Confederate sympathizers, ended up on the losing side. During the Civil War, James older brother Frank fought on behalf of the Confederates with the band of guerrillas, making him an outlaw since he was legally required to fight on behalf of the Union. And towards the end of the war, Jesse joins his brother and became a wanted man himself. The first criminal acts of Jesse James were undoubtedly political. He was fighting for the South in a Northern state. It was the war that initially made him an outlaw.

Starting point is 00:04:38 And when the war was over and he began to rob trains and banks, Confederate sympathizers continued to see Jesse's acts not as criminal exploits, but as acts of political defiance. He was seen as fighting the union oppression of southern culture. He was a hero. His robberies and murders played a part in what was perceived as a Confederate effort to achieve post-war time political goals by violent means. However, had Jesse James existed a century later, he would have simply been called an anti-American domestic terrorist.

Starting point is 00:05:06 And as his crimes continue, he got harder and harder to rationalize him as any sort of revolutionary. And it got easier to see him as a ruthless killer and a thief exploiting pro-Confederate sympathies for his own personal financial gains. Were his motivations political or did he kill Rob and Maraud just to make a quick buck and spread his growing infamy? The legend of Jesse James and the old West gang he rode with is the complicated one and we enthusiastically dissect and explore it here today and the times these men lived in in this yeah, yeah, Wild West outlaw historical edition of TimeSuck.

Starting point is 00:05:45 Yeah, Wild West Ella historical edition of Time Suck. This is Michael McDonald and you're listening to Time Suck. You're listening to Time Suck. Happy Monday, mate, Saks. I'm Dan Cummins, sir Sir Suckington, the big Suck, big daddy Suck, Master of the Suck, and he who sucks the longest, hardest, and the deepest. And you are listening to Time Suck, you beautiful, curious bastards. Welcome to the call to the curious. Don't be scared.

Starting point is 00:06:15 Don't be scared. Step on in. Take your clothes off. Put it here, put on one of these ropes. Grab a ceremonial sword, a power amulet, and start chaining. It's all normal. It's all very normal, hail Nimrod! What on one of these ropes? Grab a ceremonial sword, a power amulet, and start chaining. It's all normal. It's all very normal, hail Nimrod!

Starting point is 00:06:29 Hail Luciferina, praise good boy, Bojangles, and yacht rock bad boy, Michael Motherfuck and McDonald. Today's time suck is brought to you by Nitsa, the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. Do you think it's okay to drive stoned? It's not. The truth is, although you may not be aware of it, your reaction times slow way, way down when you're high. That's not buzzkill. It's science. You not only put yourself in danger, but you put everyone around you in danger. So stop kidding yourself. It's not okay to drive high.

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Starting point is 00:07:23 and a bunch more great messages regarding vaccines and much else in today's time, sucker updates. I can now say I for sure had a blast at the big time suck the gathering event this past Saturday. Huge thank you to our event intern Derek Hall and his lovely wife page for flying out, helping out. Big thanks to the high priest is harmony belly camp for helping out so much as well. Glad she is with us here in the suck dungeon.

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Starting point is 00:08:08 Joe's, Pimpcane chicken sautee's drinks like the Reverend doctor and Polish's fuck. The New York City Piano Bar, after party was incredible, as was a day full of sucked dungeon tours. Love the one of the piano players there is a time suckers well. And the coolest part of all, seeing so many people who'd never met each other in person. People sometimes who had not even met online and just see them hanging out and laughing and having fun like they've been good friends for 20 years. Can't wait to try and make next year's gathering even bigger and better fucking friendship,

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Starting point is 00:09:09 channel subscriptions over 8500 ratings and iTunes, which really helps us show fine new listeners. It has been finding new listeners. Listership has doubled since January. We're up to two million total downloads a month now. Incredible. Very thankful. You can also find the trailer to my new podcast, Scared to Death on Spotify and YouTube,

Starting point is 00:09:27 on the Bad Magic Productions channel. I'll be trying to scare the shit out of Lindsay with two allegedly true horror tales, you know, each week, starting September 17th at midnight Pacific time, two episodes at first night. So four stories the first night, then a new weekly episode, he's Tuesday at midnight after that. And hopefully the new podcast trailers out on iTunes, Google play everywhere else by the time you hear this damn submission processes. Be gone, Lucifer, and stuff. Fuck with my new show. I hope to see

Starting point is 00:09:54 some of you in Southern California this week. Hollywood comedy store this Thursday, August 29th. Happy murder tour then hits La Jolla. The comedy store just a bit outside of San Diego on August 30th, 31st of September 1st. One show with all of you haul in Chicago Friday, September 13th, copper blues live in Phoenix, September 19th to 21st, live time suck. Antihil kids happening on the 21st there as well. Then Indianapolis, West Palm Beach, Tampa, special taping and money, a Pontiac Michigan at the Crowfoot Ballroom, more tour dates at

Starting point is 00:10:26 Dankelman's.tv. Thanks so much for showing up to the standup shows. More and more times like her showing up, seems like you guys have been loving the new material, but having a lot of fun on stage. And now it's time to have a lot of fun right here. Let's have some fun here. You guys, hey, he has like fun. Let's do it. Let's get to topic time. Yeah, yeah. Jesse Woodson James, one of the best remembered and most exaggerated characters of the Old West, his tale is a story of a man who grew up without a father. Got really good at killing and guerrilla warfare became a famous outlaw, even married and had kids with his first cousin before meeting his own violent end.

Starting point is 00:11:05 Yep. More cousin fucking this suck. Incessed in history go together like, uh, well, like first cousin, penises and first cousin for a giant is I guess. Jesse James was seen by some as a heroic Robin Hood like figure. Legends persist to this day of his buried treasures, coated diaries and treasure maps. Both Jesse and his older brother Frank first learned to kill during the Civil War, more on that in a bit. Jesse James also at the center of a number of conspiracy theories that have linked him with secret societies like the Freemasons

Starting point is 00:11:34 and a pro-slavery group called the Knights of the Golden Circle. Conspiracy theorists include Jesse James alleged great, great grandson who has claimed to have extensively researched written and spoken about his family's crazy history for more than 20 years. We'll get into the conspiracies towards the end of this episode. Before we get into today's Schumup rob and ride away timeline, detail in the crimes that made Jesse famous, let's take a look at some of the context that helped form his life. We'll start, of course, with his start. Jesse Woodson James born in Clay County,

Starting point is 00:12:05 Missouri on September 5th, 1847. Now, legend has it that he shot his way out of his mother's uterus with a cold walker, six shot revolver came out with a bandana hiding his face, cowboy hat on his head, thick beards, double on his face. Not only could he walk at birth, he could write a dog like a horse. That's exactly what he did. He wrote the family sheep dog in the town and killed two men in the slune robbery within 30 minutes of taking his own first breath of air. And he poured himself a glass of whiskey, swallowed it and one gop and set his first words. Oh, fuck milk. How recognition will do just fine. Now to be clear, that is a real Jesse James legend. It just happens to be one that I just made up.

Starting point is 00:12:45 No one else cares about. Jesse was the son of Kentucky natives, 22 year old Zarell Nicole James and her husband, 29 year old Robert James, aka, Robert James, a well educated man who received a master's of arts graduate with honors from Georgetown College. That's not Georgetown University. It's a lesser known Georgetown, but it is a Georgetown. He went on to be a Baptist minister, wealthy hemp farmer. Uh-huh. That's not Georgetown University. It's a lesser known Georgetown, but it is a Georgetown. He went on to be a Baptist minister, wealthy hemp farmer. Uh-huh, that's right.

Starting point is 00:13:09 Hemp, plah! Bobber getting high as fuck on the James farm. He introduced young Jesse to reggae, taught him how to hack his sack, showed him how to use waterbong like a champion. No, hemp and marijuana look the same, Hampton doesn't have nearly enough, excuse me, THC to get you high. Bummer. Jesse would have grown up harvester than a smoke some weed.

Starting point is 00:13:30 He probably would have lived longer, had a happier life. Robert and Zarell, James migrated to Missouri after visiting Zarell, his mother and stepfather who already lived there. They liked a fertile countryside, saw the agricultural potential, the rich farmland. Once in Missouri, after briefly living with Zarell, his parents, Robert invested in a 225 acre farm in Clay County, Missouri and eventually owned a reported six slaves. And yes, the James were slave owners. And I know that obviously can be a, you know, a huge turn off.

Starting point is 00:13:59 And I'm not saying it shouldn't be for a lot of listeners, but just remember this happened a long time ago when people grew up and essentially didn't really know anything different. I mean, sure, in that sense, even in the times ethically, not good, not good to do that. But if we cut out people who were around that kind of culture, well, we lose a lot of very interesting sex. So just want to a little disclaimer, I know. Yes, not good. Again, long time ago, very different culture.

Starting point is 00:14:27 As you mentioned already, Jesse was born into the world with an older brother named Alexander Franklin James, better known as Frank, who had been born four years prior to Jesse. Frank would be Jesse's partner in crime for the rest of Jesse's days. Two years after Jesse was born, Jesse's sister Susan Levina James was born on November 25, 1849. For the first few years of Jesse's life, the Jamesina James, was born on November 25th, 1849. For the first few years of Jesse's life, the James kids' bile accounts lived a prosperous farm life. And then their dad fucked everything up by heading further west.

Starting point is 00:14:54 The Reverend Robert James was asked to serve as a chaplain on a wagon train heading to California during the gold rush, and he decided to leave his young family forever. His daughter was just a few months old in search of gold. He would claim somewhat that he was going to save souls, but the contemporaries around him seemed to think that he got big dollar signs in his eyes and thought he could just make a fortune out there. Little Jesse, just two years old,

Starting point is 00:15:17 wrapped his tiny arms around his father's leg, begged him not to go, but go. He did, and then a year later, he was dead. He made it all the way to California, but then on August 18th, 1850, he died of cholera and Placerville, California. Came down with the bad case of the devil's butt flu. And the next thing you know, Miguel's pop.

Starting point is 00:15:35 Blue is butt hole clean off. He was dead in seconds. That's a little Donner party suck joke showing back up in this tale. If you're a new listener, don't worry. You probably can't blow off your buttole if you come down with cholera. Robert's death left his family and financial shambles within a year of the congregation the deceased Reverend Robert used to preach to was taking a collection plate, you know,

Starting point is 00:15:55 past an election plan on behalf of his now a destitute family. Before Robert headed west, he borrowed money from locals, also pledged money to fund William Jewel College. A college he helped open in 1849. A college still exists today in Liberty, Missouri, a little small liberal arts college, about 800 students. After his death, creditors come into collect from his widow, Zarelda. And when her cash was gone, many of her possessions were sold at a series of auction estates or estate auctions, excuse me, to get cash needed to live on.

Starting point is 00:16:25 Sounds harmless, but other masurians, they were hurting for money too at this time. The whole area was going through a little regional economic crisis thanks to farms being abandoned before the crops were harvested in the wake of ruthless cholera and measles outbreaks in 1849 and 1850. Sure, it's nice not having those outbreaks now. It's pretty nice. Thanks, doctors. Thanks, vaccines. thanks, vaccines.

Starting point is 00:16:46 Desperate. Now 25 year olds are well done and are the marriage of convenience on September 30th, 1852. She went a 50 year old widowed and wealthy farmer who lived two miles away. Gross. 52 year old, I believe his how old he was.

Starting point is 00:17:02 I have 50 my notes here, but my memory says 52. She married a dude named Benjamin Sims who loved his hot young wife. Maybe he loved his a bit strong, lusted. He'd lusted a woman half his age, maybe a little less than half his age, also hated her kids. So when Sarolda moved into his home,

Starting point is 00:17:17 she had to leave nine year old Frank, five year old Jesse, not quite three year old Susan, with some friends who took over and ran what was left of her farm. You imagine, you imagine like that kind of marriage, we need to get married to financially stay afloat. And then you're, you know, soon to be husband is like, all right, you, but not the kids. And what a fucking asshole.

Starting point is 00:17:40 Listen, sugar kids, how do marry you? Sure. I don't know if you did. So it's why any book or picking, we're pretty snappers. And again, how do you tell the kids? Just hey, hey kids, how'd Mary? Yeah, sure. So I don't need if he did so. So why don't you book or pick it and whip or snappish And again, how do you tell the kids just hey? Hey kids good news Money problems are over getting married to a wealthy farmer two miles away. He has a great big house Butlers and maids cooks the finest food big yard lots of shade and room to roam badness is he can't come he doesn't he can't stand To no one surprised the marriage didn't last long. It was the real to left Benjamin within a year

Starting point is 00:18:07 to return to her kids. I can only imagine the fights they'd had during that marriage. But you crying all the time. Were you young, you paired again? Stop blabbing about missing your brats and I want tears in my supper. Make me a pop roast, sing me a happy song woman. I wanted to marry a cry baby.

Starting point is 00:18:23 I would have actually married a baby. Lord knows I considered it. 25 year old lady bits are a bit too ripe for me to want to stick my deal apart in. Get moving. When Benjamin died just a few months after Zarel the left him on January 2nd 1854 in a horse accident. Zarel the according to what friends of hers would say years later was overjoyed. Zarel the wasted little time and had one more estate auction to settle the

Starting point is 00:18:46 last of her debts. It was able to keep most of her land waste a little time getting back on her feet. And then she married her third and final husband, Dr. Archie Rubin Samuel on September 25th, 1855. Archie Samuel was 27 at the time and she was 30. A little more evenly matched this time. Upon their marriage, her request, he gave up doctrine. Whiskey, and he worked at the James farm. He helped grow tobacco, also adopted Susan, Jesse and Frank, and then they'd have four more children together. Even signed a prenuptial agreement that guaranteed Zarelda ownership of the farm and their slaves after his death, something extremely uncommon, if not entirely of unheard of, for a man to do at that time in that place.

Starting point is 00:19:26 A reporter commented decades later, the art she was under Zarelda's dominion. Now numerous contemporary said things like, you know, she wore the pants kind of thing. After some early childhood unsteadiness with his father's death and then being briefly abandoned during his mother's second marriage, things seemed to settle down for young Jesse

Starting point is 00:19:43 now eight years old after his mother's third marriage. And Jesse might have grown up to be a Missouri farmer himself, but then the Civil War showed up and changed everything for everyone. The war would drag his older brother Frank James into a life of fighting and then Jesse would soon follow. Let's take a quick beak, quick beak. I don't know how you do that. Let's take a quick peek at Jesse's older, Frank, the forgotten James brother, who would

Starting point is 00:20:05 also be one of the leaders of the infamous James Younger gang. Franklin James, the lesser known older brother of the legend, was born at Clay County, Missouri, as well, over four years before Jesse, January 10, 1843. As a child, young Jesse, excuse me, young Frank, showed interest in his late father's sizable library, especially the works of William Shakespeare. Frank's profound love of Shakespeare would inspire him to carry copies of the barge plays in his saddlebags years later while being pursued by Union soldiers and later law officers. He would also memorize lines and recite them to other bandits, pretty, pretty funny image.

Starting point is 00:20:40 Once a dusty cowboy sitting around a campfire, hiding out after a heist, and Frank, maybe after a couple of drinks, stands up. Just, is this a dagger that I see before me? Handle toward my hand. Come let me clutch the healthy knots. Now, yet I see these still. Art thou not fatal vision sensible to feeling as to sat? Oh, aren't they out but a dagger of the mind of false creation proceeding from the heat of press brain? I see the yet, informers palpable as this which now I draw. I'm turn I she blown about Frank. We don't care. Caught an ill by no Billy Shakespeare.

Starting point is 00:21:21 God damn well now. Frank received much better education. The most rural Missouri farm kids at the time. God damn, what a hell. Frank received a much better education, the most rural Missouri farm kids at the time. The James fam was only a mile from the summer set school that Frank attended regularly until he was 18. So it was as long as old to be a school kid at that time. Frank reportedly wanted to become a teacher, was an avid learner, and then Frank was going to attend William,

Starting point is 00:21:41 Jewel College continuous education. Studied the school as father helps establish, but instead the war happened. Civil war in the US began in 1861 after decades of simmering tensions between Northern and Southern states over slavery, states rights, and Westward expansion. Jesse James was just barely a teenager, only 13 when the war broke out.

Starting point is 00:22:00 Two young defied initially, Frank was 18 though. And when the war got going, the James farm had slaves. James family felt that the slavery was necessary to keep their farms or livelihood going. And so Frank found himself in the tricky spot of being expected to fight for the North whose victory could spell financial ruin for his slave owning family. So now that we have a solid understanding of the circumstances that would pull Jesse into his future criminal ways. Let's examine Jesse's entry into his outlaw life in today's time suck timeline right

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Starting point is 00:25:12 so you can help support this show. Support the suck while you smooth up your skin, link in the episode description. Now let's head to a time when razors weren't disposable or cheap. When you had to go to a barber for a smooth shave and you hope you didn't cut your throat. We're off to 1860 and today's time's up timeline.

Starting point is 00:25:31 Shrap on those boots, soldier. We're marching down a time, sub timeline. November of 1860, anti-slavery advocate Abraham Lincoln is elected as president and the South not happy. Lincoln only received 40% of the popular vote, 159% of the electrical college votes, but he wasn't even on the ballot in some places in the deep South. The following month, South Carolina becomes the first state to secede from the union and their declaration for secession, they state the North have denounced as sinful the institution of slavery. They have encouraged and assisted thousands of our slaves to leave their homes.

Starting point is 00:26:13 The next month, January of 1861, Florida, then Alabama, Georgia, Mississippi, and then Louisiana secede. In his declaration of succession, Georgia states, for the last 10 years, we have had numerous and serious causes of complaint against our non-slavehold and Confederate states with reference to the subject of African slavery. They have endeavored to weaken our security, to disturb our domestic peace and tranquility, and persistently refuse to comply with their expressed constitutional obligations to us in reference to that property, and by the use of their power in the federal

Starting point is 00:26:43 government have striven to deprive us of an equal enjoyment of the common territories of the Republic. Then on January 29th Kansas becomes a 34th state enters the union as a free state. A lot of people in Missouri and in particular Clay County get real anxious. They're now surrounded on three sides by states opposed to slavery. The James family are watching all these developments very closely. They feel like the union is closing in on them to take their farm. In February, 1861, Texas, the siege Jefferson Davis is inaugurated as president of the Confederacy. At the Missouri state convention, Missouri votes to remain in the union despite many in Missouri wanting to join the Southern cause, many including the James family. On April 12th, 1861, the Civil War begins with the Battle of Fort Summner, and then a

Starting point is 00:27:28 lot happens in Missouri in the coming weeks. On May 10th, volunteer union army regiment led by union brigadier general Nathan Nathaniel Lyon captures a unit of secessionists at Camp Jackson outside of St. Louis. While marching, the Confederate guerrilla soldiers into town to parole them, hostile, pro-successionist crowds gather, a shot is accidentally fired. Lions men end up firing into the mob, killing 28 civilians. Several days of rioting follow, martial law is then declared and union troops are dispatched into the city to calm things down, and many Missourians are pissed.

Starting point is 00:28:04 Union soldiers soldiers not from Missouri have been sent in to control them. A renegade Confederate government is quickly established and is led by current Missouri governor, Clairborn Fox Jackson. And what a fucking great name by the way. First middle last name, all solid. Clairborn, fuck yeah, uh, Jackson, strong ass names. Of course, he was governor. You have way better odds with coming governor. If your name is Claireborn, Fox, Jackson, then you do if you're saddled with the name like Flappy Weasel, Sour Patch.

Starting point is 00:28:37 No one takes Flappy Sour Patch seriously. No one trusts the Weasel. Anyway, former Missouri, I always say, don't be named that. Anyway, former Missouri, I wish there was somebody named that. Anyway, former Missouri governor, Sterling Price is put in charge of the Missouri State Guard, pro-Confederate State Militia. Union general, yeah, general Lyon takes over the state capital in Jefferson City, pushes through legislation to kick out Governor Jackson and replaces him with the pro-union governor. And then pro-Confederate general price goes to battle against general army.

Starting point is 00:29:06 The things are happening real fast, a lot of inner turmoil. And in the midst of all this, in May of 1861, Frank James joins the Confederate army goes to battle for general sterling price. And the destiny of his family is now changed forever. In the summer of 1861, the union and the Confederacy struggled for control to Missouri.

Starting point is 00:29:23 Brigadier General and the Daniel Lions Army of the West camped at Springfield, Missouri with Confederate troops under the command of Brigadier General Ben McCullough and Major General Sterling Price, Bass approaching. Again, Frank James, one of those troops. August 9, both sides formulated plans to attack the other. About 5 a.m. on the tens line and two columns commanded by himself and Colonel Franz Sigel, a taxi Confederates on Wilson's Creek, about 12 miles southwest of Springfield, Rebel cavalry

Starting point is 00:29:50 received the first blow and fell back from Bloody Hill. Confederate forces soon rushed up, stabilized their positions. The Confederates attacked the Union forces three times that day, but failed to break through the Union line. And then General Lyon killed during the battle. Major Samuel D. Sturgis replaced him. Meanwhile, the Confederates, Rout Segel's column, South of Skegs Branch, following the third Confederate attack which ended at 11 a.m. then Union forces withdrew, the Confederates

Starting point is 00:30:15 had won. The Confederate victory was a shot of adrenaline. For Southern sympathizers in Missouri served as a springboard for a bold thrust north that carried price in his Missouri State Guard as far as Lexington and late October. A convention was convened by governor Clairborn Fox, fucking Jackson and passing ordinance. Weasel, oh weasel, sourpatch couldn't get anybody to come to his meeting. You know, come on, you guys, fuck shut the fuck up, flappy. Now, let's come into your convention.

Starting point is 00:30:45 The conventions convened by Governor Clairborn Fox Jackson. They passed an ordinance of succession. The Battle of Wilson's Creek had given the Confederates control of Southwestern Missouri. Missouri found itself now in an odd place of having two governments, essentially. Each pledging allegiance to differing sides of the Civil War. The Southern government recognized Missouri, or at least part of Missouri, as being the 12th state of the Confederacy, and the 12th star on the Confederate flag did represent Missouri.

Starting point is 00:31:07 However, the Union Army would soon regain much of the state and push the Confederate government into exile. While in the Missouri State Guard, Frank James served in the Battle of election 10, where an estimated 1,774 Union troops lost their lives, after this victory, Frank James followed price as far as Springfield. Then he got sick. And he got left behind when price, even though he had won the victory, Lexington had banded the entire area to union forces. Frank was captured and forced to take an oath of loyalty

Starting point is 00:31:33 to the United States Union. Years later, when Frank visited Springfield as an official starter for the horse races at the annual Ozarks Empire Fair, he granted an interview to a local reporter. And it appeared in the Springfield, Missouri Republican, September 27, 1898. And he said, how well I remember that old courthouse and good cause I have to remember it. In 1862, I was a regular and elisted, with General Price and the Confederate Army and was with him in Springfield. I took sick with pneumonia while in this city. It was placed in that old courthouse.

Starting point is 00:32:04 Price retreated and Curtis, the Yankee General, took possession of the town. As the Yankees marched by the courthouse 12 abreast, I looked out of the window and I thought I would not have any comrades soon. There were enough Yankees and Curtis army to kill every rebel in the south. In six weeks time, I was able to be about, but was prisoner and could not leave the courthouse. I then commenced to plan plan how to escape and one night, managed to slip through the rear of the building and crawled out a window into the alley where I found a Yankee officer's horse, which I mounted. I wanted to join my regiment, but was cut off from price and knew that the chances were

Starting point is 00:32:38 greatly against me if I attempted to get past the Yankees who were between me and price. So I started north in one evening, rode into Quantrell's camp on this side of the Missouri River. I remained with Quantrell for some time and finally became one of his regulars. I stayed with him. I consider Quantrell the greatest guerrilla leader. I found that Yankees are, I fought the Yankees four years and the whole world for 15 years. I surrendered to governor, Critterton, uh, Chris, Crittington, not Crittor. I was like, oh, that's weird. A surrender to governor, Crittenden in 1882 and was glad to lay down my guns. I wish his name was governor, Crittor. I'd be kind of funny. Let's talk about Quantrell's Raiders now, the

Starting point is 00:33:20 group that would bring Jesse James into the outlaw life, the group that Frank joined right after he left that courthouse. July of 1862, Frank joins William Clark, Quantrill's Raiders. Quantrill's Raiders were a group of approximately 200 men dedicated to Southern, you know, the Southern cause. And by the summer of 1862, the Union Army had regained control of almost all the Missouri. By August the state would have no regular Confederate presence. Missouri's Confederate government banished into exile, went down to Texas, but the fight in Missouri didn't stop. Instead of official Confederate soldiers, groups of men, primarily slave owners with southern sympathies, would band together into units of guerrilla fighters. And the most famous of these units was Quant Trell's Raiders. Led by William Clark

Starting point is 00:34:02 Quantrell, a man who'd lived all over the place in Utah, Texas, Ohio, Kansas, Missouri, a man with southern sympathies who'd fought alongside Frank James for General Price, Quantrell and his men ambushed Union patrols, ambushed supply convoys, seized mail, occasionally struck towns on either side of the Kansas, Missouri border. And Quantrell and his men didn't just attack soldiers, they directed much of their efforts against pro-Union civilians attempting to drive them out of the area. Quantrell's guerrillas attacked J-Hawkers. Their union abolitionist guerrilla fighting equivalents. Union militia members and regular old farmers, they felt were too loyal to Northern aggression.

Starting point is 00:34:40 The Confederate Congress never formally acknowledged them and the Union viewed them as nothing but criminals. And they certainly weren't Robin Hood's marry men. And neither were other groups like the J-Hawkers. Yes, the J-Hawkers freed slaves, but they also ruthlessly attacked Confederate families, burning down their farms, stealing their livestock, in some cases attacking and killing unarmed men, women and children. The Civil War was a dirty war and parts of Missouri had practically descended into anarchy at this time.

Starting point is 00:35:03 While some of their plunder was sent to the South, most of the plunder that the Quantrals Raiders, you know, gathered, you know, was kept by the Raiders themselves. And the band of these Raiders included outlaws, Thomas Coleman Younger, and also Jim Cummins. And apparently Jim Cummins is one of my great, great, great, great, not sure how many more greats, uncles. For real, at least he is according to my regular old uncle Phil Cummins. We did some genealogy research. Talk about Jim a little bit more later. Many of the men who would later ride with Jesse James and his gang first met each other in Quantrill's Raiders.

Starting point is 00:35:34 Quantrill's men occasioned a row with the regular Confederate army fighting in battles such as the Battle of Prairie Grove, Arkansas, in December of 1862. On August 21st 1863, Quantrell let a massacre of Lawrence Kansas, or in Lawrence, Kansas in the early morning hours. His raiders tore through the free state town, robbed two banks, looted other buildings, and then set basically the entire town on fire. And they killed between 150 and 180 men and boys,

Starting point is 00:35:58 many of them unarmed. Frank James was a member of the raiders and was part of this barbaric attack. There is some doubt as to whether Jesse was involved. However, he was said to have bragged about being involved later. Sources are murky when it comes to pinpointing the exact time Jesse James joined the Raiders. It seems as if he joined them sometime in either July or August of 1863. In late 1863, an incident occurred that would fuel Jesse's hatred for the union for the

Starting point is 00:36:23 rest of his life. A party of union soldiers invaded Jesse's mother's and stepfather's farm in late 1863, looking for information about the location of Quantrell's camp. Jesse, just 15 at the time, was questioned and then horsewipped when he refused to answer the soldier's questions. And then union soldiers roughed his mother, Zarelda up. And then Jesse stepped father, Dr. Samuel, who also denied knowing where the raiders camp was located, was dragged from his house, eroped, was thrown around his neck, and he was repeatedly hanged from a tree in the yard. Somehow the doctor managed to survive this interrogation and torture, but he was never

Starting point is 00:36:57 the same afterwards, suffering from major head trauma. And all this, you know, really, of course, bothers Jesse and Jesse is not a big fan of the union. It wasn't a big fan before, really not a fan now. In 1864, young Jesse is shot in the chest while trying to steal a saddle from a pro union farmer. It would not be the last time he gets shot in the chest and live. His legend begins. Also in 1864, a character named Bloody Bill Anderson enters Jesse's life. Jesse would soon join Bloody Bill Anderson's guerrilla forces. May I have what a wild time in place

Starting point is 00:37:31 to be living in? I mean, can we just talk about that for a second? Can you imagine what life in Clay County, Missouri was like this time? You're surrounded by the Civil War, young men are being conscripted into the Union Army, while you know, other men from the same town, sometimes from the same family are running out to fight for the Confederates. And then outside of the regular Union and Confederate armies, they have all these different and you know, malicious springing up. No matter what side you're on, you're having to defend your farms, livestock, businesses, and lives from someone.

Starting point is 00:37:57 You don't get to abstain, you don't get to be neutral unless you want to get attacked and plunder from both sides. If you're a slave owner, you either have to renounce your family's way of life entirely and fight for the union or become an outlaw and fight for the south. With Jesse James, you're 16 years old at the age of a high school sophomore. You're hanging around dudes like bloody fucking bill. Of course, Jesse James became an outlaw. And there were all kinds of outlaws this time too. I should point that out as well. From the end of the Civil War to the hour of James death, the various governors of Missouri proclaimed rewards for the capture of criminals more than 300 times.

Starting point is 00:38:30 Only four of those proclamations would be for Jesse and his brother Frank. There were hundreds of other outlaws, along with hundreds and hundreds more who failed to attract gubernatorial attention. Men who committed murders broke out of jails, rob, stagecoaches, banks and trains, even killed a US marchell and burned a county courthouse. Jesse James is one of the, you know, a few names that has lasted until today, but he was far from the anomaly. Crazy, crazy times. I can't imagine that kind of life. Now let's get back to this bloody bill, fucker. Man, Jesse went to fight for and with in 1864. William Bloody Bill Anderson was born in the late 1830s, grew up in Missouri, moved to Kansas in the late 1850s, arriving to settle on his father's land claim, East Accounts will

Starting point is 00:39:12 grove. Anderson was soon immersed in the bitter fight over slavery that gave the area the nickname believing Kansas. Again, in same time to be alive there. Before the Civil War, he trafficked stolen horses, escorted wagon trains along the Santa Fe Trail, when the war broke out, Anderson joined the anti-slavery pro-union band of gorillas. I mentioned earlier known as the J-hawkers, and then he soon switched sides and joined a band of pro-Confederates called Bushwackers. And this is all starting to sound with these names like like some kind of WWE tag team wrestling match. Let's get ready to rumble.

Starting point is 00:39:50 Okay, Jean, we have the Jayhawkers making their way to the ring. These guys love fighting, raiding, burning down, barring, and they hate slavery. Very popular amongst African American wrestling fans. Also making their way to the ring, we have the Bushwackers. Very pro-slavery, they love it. Extremely unpopular amongst Missouri African American rafflin fans. Let's get it on! In the partisan warfare of Kansas and Missouri,

Starting point is 00:40:15 these groups were often more interested in robbery, looting, personal gains, and the advancement of political cause. And that's why these guys will sometimes ride with one group and then bounce to their side. Some members were willing to die for the anti-slavery or pro-slavery cause. Many, if not most, were just exploding the chaos of the time to make some quick money with whoever they thought was the best band to kind of ride with. So how did bloody Bill Anderson get drawn into Grillefart? And hopefully you enjoyed that little wrestling thing.

Starting point is 00:40:39 That was very fun. That was very fun to snap into for a second. The war drew in Bill Anderson, just like he, you know, the war would draw on the James Brothers. He and his family had been living in council grove, you know, at the start of the war, after Quantrell's Raiders raided Aubrey Kansas on March 7th, 1862, Kansas J. Hawkers came to investigate. Southern sympathizers living nearby were sought out and accused of 18 Quantrell's Raiders.

Starting point is 00:41:01 William Anderson's father and uncle were named among the Simpsil's Diet, the sympathizers. When the J. Hawker company arrived at the Anderson farm in March 11th, William and his younger brother Jim were delivering 15 head of cattle to the U.S. commentary agent for 11 worth. And when the brothers returned to their family farm, they found their father and uncle dead. They had been hanged in retaliation. Also, the family farm had been burned to the ground and all their possession stolen. So pretty bad day for Billy. Bloody Bill and his brother Jim tracked down the man in charge of hanging their dad, uncle, and Gundam down and then Bill became the head of a local

Starting point is 00:41:34 band of Confederate guerrillas and his activities cast a shadow suspicion over the rest of his family. Then the Union commander, General Thomas Ewing arrested several wives and sisters of some of the members of Quantrill's Raiders, while Anderson commanded his own band of men. He often collaborated with Quantrill's larger force. As a result, the group Ewing arrested included three of Anderson's sisters who are now imprisoned in a temporary union jail in Kansas City, Missouri. And then on August 14th, 1863, this jail collapses and it kills one of Anderson's sisters along with several other women.

Starting point is 00:42:05 Quant Trellen bill, you know, fucking pissed. They assembled more than 400 men to exact revenge against the abolitionist community of Lawrence Candace and any J. Hawkers president. On August 21st, the band killed at least 150 residents, burned down much to town. Anderson personally was credited with 14 murders that day. After this massacre, Anderson went to Texas at winter, married, returned to Missouri in 1864 with a band of about 50 fighters. Jesse James joined them and then he embarked on a summer of violence leading his group

Starting point is 00:42:54 on a campaign to kill hundreds. So that's how you get to, you know, the name Bloody Bill is, you know, some some bad shit happened to his family and he, you know, enacted some revenge big time. On September 27th, 1864, Bloody Bill led a raid on Centrelia, Missouri, where a gang of more than a hundred gorillas robbed the pastors of an incoming train. 24 unarmed and wounded Union soldiers were dragged from the train by the frenzied ruffians and murdered in cold blood. Again, Bloody Bill didn't fuck around. The band of gorillas followed by an experienced federal infantry. three mile south into the union forces were bushwacked by the band and were nearly annihilated. Over 120 federal troops were killed. Only three of the guerrilla fighters

Starting point is 00:43:33 were reported to have been killed in this battle. Both Frank and Jesse were part of this battle. Jesse has said to have killed union major AB Johnson and is credited with taking the lives of seven other men this day alone. On clear Frank and Jesse took part in the massacre of unarmed Union soldiers earlier in the day. On October 26, bloody bills, gorillas are ambushed by Union soldiers, independence, Missouri, several gorillas are killed. Bill Anderson himself is killed, decapitated.

Starting point is 00:44:00 Jesse James and a few other gorillas escaped the dead body of bloody bill. The blood drenched savage as he referred to by some pro union journalists Was placed on public display before they cut his head off also Anderson kept a rope to record his killings and there were reportedly 54 knots found on the rope the time was death Yeah, you can find a picture taken of his body several hours after he was killed online if you do enjoy nightmares And he was only 23 years old when he died. And yeah, and that is how you get a nickname, Bloody Bill. After Bill's death, Frank James follows Quantrell and his raiders in Kentucky.

Starting point is 00:44:34 Jesse takes off with Archie Clement, one of Bloody Bill's attendance, a Bush walker known to be especially violent, a very bloody man himself. After a winner, Raid and ambush in late 1864, early 1865, Quantrell's Raiders ambushed themselves by Union soldiers at James Wakefield's farm in Kentucky on May 10, 1865, where many are killed and captured. A Quantrell himself shot twice, paralyzed from the chest down, he soon dies from his wounds in a military hospital the following month. One of the captured grilis is Jim Younger, who recently joined the grilis.

Starting point is 00:45:09 Future member of the James Younger gang. Frank James survives the ambush of Boyd's capture. Jim Younger's captured. Yeah, but we'll again, you know, become free and again, join that gang later for some more bandaging. By the spring of 1865, all the principal confederate armies have now surrendered. And when Union cavalry captures the fleeing Confederate president, Jefferson Davis on May 10th, 1865 in Georgia, resistance collapses and the war is now over for most. In May of 1865, 17-year-old Jesse Rides and Lexington, Missouri carrying a white flag, he's ready to surrender. He's ready to be done with the war. But the Union troops he's riding towards are interested in accepting his surrender this day and they open fire. He gets shot in the chest for the second time, barely survived, crawling away to safety. His legend now grows further as does his hatred of the union. He'll make them pay and he'll never try surrendering again.

Starting point is 00:45:57 By early February of 1866, now 18-year-old Jesse has healed up and Jesse and Frank James meet with Cole Younger to form that gang, the James Younger gang and plan their first bank robbery. The war is over, but these guys are far from done with fighting. The Jesse, uh, Jones, James, the James Younger gang takes on anyone standing in between them and the Clay County Savings. The bank vaults will sell you the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge. On February 13th, 1866, over 10 members of the James Younger gang rob the Clay County Savings Bank

Starting point is 00:46:45 in Liberty, Missouri of as much as $62,000. A fortune at the time, equivalent to over a million dollars today. This robbery was the first arm day time peacetime robbery in US history. The James Younger gang pioneered the Wild West outlaw bank. Hold up. I didn't know that before this suck. Sadly a 17 year old innocent bystander is a shot and, you know, killed accidentally during the robbery. On June 17th, 1866, James Brothers helped bust two other former members of Quantrill's Raiders out of a prison, an independent Missouri. Someone from their gang kills the

Starting point is 00:47:16 jailer, Henry Buggler, in order to do so. On October 30th, 1866, five members of the James Younger gang robbed the Alexander Mitchell and co-bank in Lexington, Missouri, making out with over $2,000. No one's injured this time. Frank and Jesse said to him part of this robbery as well. December 16th, the James Younger gang loses one of their tough remembers. This little story provides a nice little peek into the type of dudes who inhabited the world that Jesse lived in. The type of people in his orbit, tough mother fuckers. For the few previous months, Archie Clement, former lieutenant of Bloody Bill Anderson, when he wasn't riding with the James Younger gang, he was leading Bushwackers and voter

Starting point is 00:47:52 intimidation campaigns in Missouri. Now that the war was over, politically motivated Confederate bandits focused on the elections of 1866. They did everything they could to make sure that pro-union politicians didn't win any of these elections. Arching is banned of at times well over a hundred men were keeping union Republicans from voting at various polls. On election day, the governor of Missouri sent in some militia led by major bacon Montgomery to stop Bill and his men in the little town of Lexington, Missouri. And yes, his first name really was bacon.

Starting point is 00:48:23 I'd looked that up, a couple sources to was Bacon. I looked at up a couple of sources to verify it. I was like, really bacon? I'm sure he was teased more than a few times growing up. Old bacon, old, old, thick slice, old maple cured, ran Clement and his man out of town. But then Clement and his men returned on December 13th. Montgomery disbacked some men to arrest Archie, who had went to the city hotel bar for a drink. Archie was wanted for the February 13th James Younger gang Liberty Bank hold up. The major's men find little Archie drinking with an old friend, call him out to surrender and clements who was only 20 years old was basically like, nope, fuck that shit. Drossers revolver star shoot wild gun

Starting point is 00:49:02 fighting suits spike in shot in the chest. Archie manages to make it outside, leaps up onto his horse, and then while riding down the street, a soldier from a militia detachment stationed up on the courthouse shoots him again and knocks him right off the horse, and he's still alive. When the Montgomery runs up to Archie, who is badly busted up from the fall, clearly dying from his gunshot wounds, they find him trying to cock his revolver with his teeth so he can keep shooting at him. Legend has it. One of the soldiers asked him or just said to him, Arch, you are dying. What do you want me to do with you? And Clemens allegedly responded with, I've done what I always said I would do, die before I surrender. And then he did die. Major Montgomery, old smoked homestyle,

Starting point is 00:49:48 baking himself, later stated when recalling Clements final moments, I've never met better grit on the face of the earth. I mean, these outlaws, whether you agree with their tactics or not, you can't disagree with the fact they were tough as fucking nails. Mark II, 1867, the James

Starting point is 00:50:05 Younger gang robs Judge John McCain Banking House of Savannah, Missouri on May 22nd, 1867 they rob again with 12 members this time. The James Younger gang makes off with $4,000 from the Usen Wassen Bank of Richmond, Missouri, three men shot and killed in this robbery. And then on March 20th, 1868, the gang really pisses off Nimrod. The gang hits the Nimrod long banking co of Russell, Wilkin, Tucky, and takes off with approximately $14,000. One person's wounded, no fatalities. Nimrod is furious. December 7th, 1869, the James Younger gang holds up the Davies County Savings Bank of Gallatin, Missouri, killing cashier Captain John W. Sheets, wounding clerk William McDowell

Starting point is 00:50:50 as he runs for the door and they make off with 700 bucks. Jesse James himself believed he was shot and killed Captain John Sheets, mistakenly believing him to be Samuel P. Cox, the militia officer who would kill bloody Bill Anderson, a $3,000 reward offered for their capture. This robbery gets Jesse's face put on some water posters, also gets him an unofficial PR agent, started in late 1869, John Newman Edwards massively contributes to the legend of Jesse James, his gang by writing glorifying articles and dime novels about the guys.

Starting point is 00:51:22 In fact, we actually owe much of our romanticized lore of Jesse James and the James younger gang to Edward. He's the fellow that wrote the glowing obituary. I mentioned it, start the episode. So let's meet him for a sec here. Born in 1839, Edward was a native Virginia who came to Missouri in mid 1850s to work as the newspaper printer. He became a hunting and fishing companion of a man named Joseph Shelby.

Starting point is 00:51:43 And when the war broke out and Shelby went out out to fight for the Confederacy, Edward served it as his eight. Part of what may have drawn Edward's suggestion, James and his violent exploits and hatred in the north was that Edwards had fought against North himself and bravely. He had more horses shot out from under him than any other man in Shelby's command. When the war ended, Shelby and Edward refused to surrender, crossing over into Mexico, living there in exile for almost two years. Like Jesse, he too had a very hard time accepting a Northern victory.

Starting point is 00:52:11 So she'd come as no surprise that after he returns to the U.S., Edwards tries to portray armed secessionists as innocent victims of the North and heroes. In 1867, Edwards returns to Missouri, works as a reporter. Sony takes on the important political role of editor for the recently launched Kansas City Times. Edwards composed a glowing tribute to his former boss called Shelby and his men. And he tries to convince ex-Confederates

Starting point is 00:52:34 to get back into politics. When Edwards hears of an ex-Bushwacker named Jesse James, who had used a bank robbery to try and advantage the death of guerrilla leader, Bloody Bill Anderson, Edwards is intrigued. He makes contact with the James brothers in six months after the robbery. The first public statement from Jesse appears in the Kansas City Times. In it, the young outlaw asserts his innocence, while simultaneously claiming that the unionists

Starting point is 00:52:56 are the real criminals. This jives perfectly with Edwards' own beliefs, and it begins a campaign to convince the world that Jesse James has not a murderer and a thief, but instead a valiant Confederate hero. A few years later in the run up to the election of 1872, Edwards would devote much of his editorial venom to denunciations of Republican president Eulisus Grant's corrupt tyrannical administration, his words, not mine. And then when he hears of Jesse's daring sunset, Robert the Kansas City industrial exposition, which you know, mentioned later, Edward turns his attention back to the fierce rebel in a hyperbolic editorial called the chivalry of crime. Edward said Bushwackers might have sat

Starting point is 00:53:34 with Arthur at the round table and called on readers to revere the robbers for the very enormity of their outlawery. Soon, Edward should became a leading figure in the Confederate wing of the Democratic Party would be in full myth making mode printing a letter from Jesse in which he made the baseless claim that his gang members robbed to the rich and give to the poor. A claim that no serious James historian has ever agreed with in 1873 Edwards was right at 20 page newspaper supplement glorifying the James gang. Twenty pages devoted these guys. He later tried to get a bill passed granting Frank and Jesse Amnesty for their crimes as

Starting point is 00:54:08 well. Okay, now let's go back to 1867 and the James Younger Gangs ongoing crime wave. And by the way, that does also speak the Edward stuff to just the culture of the time too. Because as much as Edward revered these guys, he wouldn't be putting out these articles if a good, you know, portion of his audience didn't agree with them and enjoy what he was writing. So yes, let's head to, so let's take a closer look at some of their members and then we'll get back into the gang's exploits, exploits. Many of the members of the James Younger gang met during the Civil War.

Starting point is 00:54:36 Most of them rode together with Quantrell's Raiders. The younger brothers actually came from a pro union family until a band of union supporting guerrillas known as the red legs. So many guerrilla groups robbed and murdered their father. Now it's sent them down a path that eventually led them to control. Quantals gang of Bushwack and motherfuckers were involved in a number of similarly deadly conflicts, mostly the Missouri, but also in surrounding states. Most of the gang members of the Civil War battle tested men.

Starting point is 00:55:02 The gang consisted of course of Jesse and his brother Frank as well as the younger brothers Jim, John, Bob and Cole. A lot of outlaws to popping out, coming along for a few robberies here and bouncing out for some other bandit and outlaw and maybe coming back in for a train robbery or a stage coach robbery there. They didn't get captured or killed. Some other members included John Gerrit, who was Jesse James brother-in-law, Clell Miller, Arthur McCoy, Matthew Nelson, Charlie Pitts, Bill Chadwell, and of course, my kin, James Robert Cummins, AKA Jim Cummins, AKA Wendy Jim, for real about the windy nickname. And Jim isn't even the first Western outlaw with the nickname of windy. We've met here in the suck.

Starting point is 00:55:38 Way back in suck 24, the ability of the kid suck, we met Frank Windy Cahill, first man, Billy Murder. We can now let's meet the younger brothers. Thomas Coleman, Cole Younger was a Confederate gorilla, one of the leaders of the James Younger gang. Cole was the seventh of 14 children born to Henry Washington and Berchiba, Layton, Fristo Younger. He joined William Quantrell's gorillas in 1861 when he was just 17, took part in the Lawrence,

Starting point is 00:56:03 Kansas Raid, Massacre of 1863 to left some 200 men and boys dead and the city ransacked and burned when he was just 19. So young all these guys too. 1864 he moved on to serve in the regular Confederate army and was soon made captain, let his men into Louisiana later in the California where he remained until the end of the war. After the war Cole continued to associate with this old war comrades in the midst of the tumultuous reconstruction and Missouri and out of his own embitterment over the outcome of the war. He went full outlaw, taking a leadership role in the James Younger gang. He

Starting point is 00:56:34 participated in a number of bank trained stage coach robberies over his crime laden career though he would insist until the end of his life that he never robbed a single bank in his beloved Missouri. Okay, I don't think it was true. The next younger brother is Jim. James Jim Younger, four years younger than his brother Cole was described as a quiet, well-mannered guy, more of a listener than a talker, grew up to follow his brother, Cole's footsteps and joined Quantrill's Confederate band of pretty much pirates on horses. Jim Younger was later captured by Union troops in the same ambush that resulted in William

Starting point is 00:57:04 Quantrill's death. He was sent to all in prison in Illinois until the end of the war. Afterwards he tried his hand at a number of jobs, including starting a horse ranch and serving as a deputy sheriff in Dallas County, Texas in 1878, 1871, and then two years later he joined the James Younger gang. I find that interesting too in these Wild West sucks. How many guys would be law enforcement officers and also outlaw gang members kind of go back and forth.

Starting point is 00:57:27 The next younger John Harrison younger three years younger than Jim. John was the 11th of 14 children again born to the younger clan. Their poor mother. He was one of the youngest younger than younger town. When brothers Cole and Jim joined William Quantfield's guerrillas during the Civil War, John and his brother Bob were two young and stayed at home to look after their mother and sisters. After the war was over when at home to look after their mother and sisters. After the war was over when John and Bob had driven their mother into Independence, Missouri

Starting point is 00:57:48 for supplies in January of 1866, a soldier recognized the family and began to make some rude comments about their brother about his brother Cole. When 15-year-old John told him to be quiet, the soldiers slapped him on the face with the frozen fish. Seriously, that's what the sources say. This guy slapped his kid with a cold fish in the face. And then John pulled out a revolver and shot that frozen fish slap in the center of a bitch right between his eyes. And then to make this story even weirder, after the dead soldier's body was examined, it was revealed that a slingshot had been tied to his wrist.

Starting point is 00:58:21 Like he had, you know, obviously, pro-itagem himself. So because he had the slingshot tied to his own wrist Like he had, you know, obviously, probably tied to himself. So because he had this Ling shot tied to his own wrist, the killing was ruled as self-defense. You know, because the guy had a weapon on him. No charges were filed against John. The whole thing is such a weird little story there. Sheriff John Younger just shot a soldier out between the eyes, killed him dead. Well, damn it.

Starting point is 00:58:40 Deputy staff talking to me and go arrest him. Sheriff the soldier did slap him in the face with the fish. Well, I have no provocation for murder, arrest him at once. Sheriff that fish was frozen. Frozen, huh? I guess that's different than, isn't it? When you slap a man with the frozen fish in the face,

Starting point is 00:59:01 you're practically begging for a bullet. But we're still gonna need to bring him a trowel so you need to go grab a share of the soldier that did have a slingshot tied to his wrist. Really? Slingshot tied to his wrist. And he slapped, he slapped John with a frozen face in the face. Well, all right, I recollect,

Starting point is 00:59:17 I don't really see a crime here anymore. Won't you tell John hello and tell his mom a good day and thanks for filling me in. Then we have Bob Younger, Robert Bob, you and younger, 13 to the 14 kids, youngest boy, two years younger than John and even younger, younger, younger, younger, four young, so many youngers and wife, that can whatever, turn the war. He witnessed his father being killed by unisolders and his home burned to the ground after his brothers formed the James younger gang. He would join and spend the next 10 years robbing banks, trains and stage coaches along cross Missouri, Kansas and other nearby

Starting point is 00:59:50 states before finally getting caught, spending his final years in prison where he, like a lot of 19th century prisoners would die of TB, Aka consumption. And I'm just blown away by how many people in the story have back stories where, you know, their parents or family members were killed by their Confederate or Union soldiers. I mean, in this particular story, they'll buy a lot of Union soldiers and just like places burned to the ground. That's not how you win over locals. That's not how you get them to yours.

Starting point is 01:00:15 That's not how you win hearts and minds by just fucking killing their parents and burning their shit to the ground. That's how you create outlaws. That's how you create, you know, the equivalent of a terrorist. Now, let's talk a little more about that, the equivalent of a terrorists. Now let's talk a little more about that little tough son of a bitch we met earlier, gang member Archibald Jay, little Archie Clement. Archie joined the Confederate guerrillas under Captain William Bloody Bill Anderson in 1861. By the time he was 17, he'd already become a lieutenant.

Starting point is 01:00:38 He was a very small man, weighing just about 130 pounds, standing just over five feet tall. He made up for his smaller stature with fearlessness and his quick and accurate pistol shot. He quickly took a prominent role in Anderson's military operation, including that bloody raid on Lawrence, Kansas. Clement also participated in the Centrelium Missouri Masker, where 23 union soldiers were robbed and shot. When bloody bill Anderson was killed by union forces on October 26, 1864, Clement took command of the unit and tell the war was over. And after the war, climate continued to create problems for the government

Starting point is 01:01:09 by intimidating voters and elections and becoming part of what would be the James Junker gang. And he would lead the gang into that first robbery that resulted in estimated $62,000 worth of cash and bonds before having those tough last words. Before moving on to more gang explo explains, let's go over three more members. Arthur C. McCoy was a James Younger gang member born in Ireland in 1825. McCoy immigrated to United States first settled in California during the gold rush by the 1850. He was

Starting point is 01:01:36 living in St. Louis, Missouri where he worked as a coppersmith by 1855. McCoy married Louisa Gibson and the couple would eventually have five children. He then formed a partnership and started a paint business called Farmer and McCoy. During the Civil War, he became a captain under Confederate General Joe Shelby, and was said to have worked as a spy after the war he would join with the James Younger gang, where he would be a consistent member until the late 1870s, where he suddenly vanishes from the history books. Jesse and Frank's brother-in-law, Alan H. Palmer, also rode with the James boys for years. Born and raised in Missouri, Palmer rode with William Quantrell during the Civil War, was paroled with Frank James and Kentucky at the war's end.

Starting point is 01:02:16 One of the first members, he would join the gang immediately after it formed. Palmer also snuck in a little schooling when he wasn't pointing a pistol at someone demanding money attending Bryant and Stratton's business college in St. Louis in 1867 and 1868 That just cracks me up for some reason too. Hey, hey, partner. How are you paying for tuition? Don't worry about none Come on, Palmer. You only have no regular job. You're folks ain't rich. How you paying? Click I said Don't worry about it. All right, Paul, all right, Palmer, she's messed up one thing I got to make.

Starting point is 01:02:48 Palmer was a killer. According to some of the men who are there, he killed more men during that Lawrence massacre than anyone else. On November 24th, 1870, Palmer married Susan Levina James, sister of Frank and Jesse James, and the couple would have six children. And he hardly ever talked to Jesse and Frank about fucking their sister. Like it rarely came up. You rarely kind of went there. Last up Uncle Jim. Uncle Jim.

Starting point is 01:03:11 Jim Cummins was born and raised in Clay County, Missouri near Frank and Jesse James. They were close friends, fought for the Confederate militia together during the war. The Quantrow Raiders, roster listed James A Cummins and a James Robert Cummins. They're likely the same person. I get it, you know, I get mail as both Dan Cummins and a James Robert Cummins. They're likely the same person. I get it, you know, I get mail as both Dan Cummins and Dan Cummins. Sometimes I get mail as Don Cummins. Jim was a founding member of the James Younger gang, also had fought previously for Archie Clements.

Starting point is 01:03:37 Some also believe Cummins was a knight of the Golden Circle, a super racist pro-slavery organization that wanted to annex a Golden Circle of territories in Mexico, Central America, the Confederate States, and the Caribbean, and then turn the whole area into a nation built on slavery to be led by Maximilian I. Some Austrian dude who is briefly the emperor of Mexico from 1864 to 1867. Jesus, Uncle Jim his his is awkward. You're embarrassing me You're embarrassing me at the windy Jimmy Random note about Uncle windy Jim. He became a farmer in Arkansas after the breakup of the James gang and still a wanted man And then he tried to turn himself into authorities on several occasions, but they didn't believe who he claimed he was

Starting point is 01:04:21 Just several times. He's like, yeah, I'm Jim, you're gonna rest me, and they're like, yeah, yeah, here. Can you imagine how weird that would be? I mean, feel good on one in one sense, but also just kind of embarrassing. You can be a much crime, you can get away with them, you know, you feel bad, your conscience gets you, and then you go, go to turn yourself in,

Starting point is 01:04:37 they're like, yeah, yeah, you goof, Paul. No, no, I'm really, I killed some, I killed some man, and I wanna, I wanna do what's right, and I wanna serve my time. I sold a lot of money. Yeah, okay, sure, you get caught, top killed some man and I want to, I want to do what's right. I want to serve my time. I stole a lot of money. Yeah. Okay. Sure you did.

Starting point is 01:04:47 Cut top. And I stuck my finger in Queen Mary's ass. Go, go, get out here. You silly old crank. Go on. Get. Jim would publish a book about his life in crimes in 1903 with the absolutely terrible title of Jim Cummins book written by himself, the life story the James and younger gang and their comrades including the operations of

Starting point is 01:05:08 Quantrell's Carillus by one who rode with them By true, but terrible tale of outlawry Jesus Christ Who's fucking no editors back then? You can buy the hardcover edition on Amazon of this book for $600. Not kidding. And it doesn't exist in any other format because I'm guessing there's zero demand for it because I'm also guessing is fucking terrible. Damn it, Uncle Jimmy, even bear, you're embarrassing me again. If only Uncle Wendy Jim could have had access to our next sponsor. Today's time suck is brought to you today by renowned author Randy Shock and his master course

Starting point is 01:05:46 in how to write pretty good book titles and everything else really really well. Let Randy explain how he will teach you to become a master writer in his own words. Hello, this is an ad for Randy Shock. I am Randy Shock. I wrote this. Randy Shock wrote this himself, me, to teach others you to write really well, period. I have written many books with good titles that I enjoyed to write. Nefilium Anunaki and the Graze, Planet Drifter 957, that is one of my books, not kidding. It is about what I just said a moment ago.

Starting point is 01:06:31 I thought of that book and many other fine fun, two retitles at the YMCA. Do you know Jim Torbin? I saw him there once. He used to work at Wendy's, but something happened, I think. Do you know Paul Harvey? He's dead now. He was my dad's best friend. I used to answer the police phone.

Starting point is 01:06:55 Okay. Time to wrap up. It's sunny out, and I want to be done now. See you later. Oh, Randy Shock. Still cracking up about the guy from last episode. Let's get to one last real sponsor now. Times like his brought you once again by long time supporter of the show, Lisa.

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Starting point is 01:08:32 Other members of the James, you know, Younger gang include Alexander, Donovan, Donnie Pence, his brother, Tom Thomas, Edward Bud Pence, Redmond Red, uh, Monkers, Charlie, uh, pits, the Shepherd Brothers, George and Oliver and Charles Fletcher Taylor, almost all these men again, uh, soldiers of the Confederacy Confederacy, also almost all them head road with William Quantrell. Now back to the timeline, the James Younger gang just kept on misbehaving. June 3rd, 1871, four members of the James Younger gang robbed the Okobak Brothers Bank of cordon, Iowa, taking $6,000, well over $100,000 in today's currency. No one gets hurt this time, but the Pinkerton's get called in.

Starting point is 01:09:14 Remember those pioneered detectives from Suck 116? Agency founder Alan Pinkerton dispatched his son, Robert Pinkerton, who joins a county sheriff in tracking the gang to a farm in Civil bend, Missouri, where a shootout ensues with the gang escapes. It went full southern. They're from Missouri. On June 24th, 1871, Jesse James wrote a letter to the Kansas City Times claiming Republicans were persecuting him for his Confederate loyalties by accusing him and Frank of carrying out these robberies, writing, but I don't care what the degraded radical party thinks about

Starting point is 01:09:44 me. I would just assume they would think I was a robberies, writing, but I don't care what the degraded radical party thinks about me. I would just assume they would think I was a robber is not. Now, what's interesting about this is Jesse's willingness to help create his own legend and his lack of truthfulness, his willingness to put out some propaganda. He was a bank robber. Him and his bodies weren't given the money they took to any pro-confederation causes. In many cases, the people who lost their money were also Confederate sympathizers. On April 29th, 1872, the James Younger gang robs the bank of Columbia in Columbia, Kentucky,

Starting point is 01:10:09 killing cashier RAC Martin when he refuses to open the safe. The gang made off with another $6,000. The nuts of 1026, 1872, Jesse Frank and one other member of the gang robed the Kansas City Expedition ticket office and get away with eight grand. During a struggle with the ticket seller, a young girl is shot. Luckily, she would live hurting the girl bothers Jesse enough to write a letter into the Kansas City Times. On October 15th, 1872, a letter is published by the Kansas City Times.

Starting point is 01:10:36 And while it wasn't signed by Jesse James, historians fully believe he wrote it and he wrote, as a great deal has been said in regard to the robbery which occurred at the Kansas City Exposition grounds, I will give a few lines to the public as I am one of the party who perpetrated the deed. A great many say that we the robbers deserve hanging. What have we done to be hung for? It is true that I shot a little girl though it was not intentional and I'm very sorry that the child was shot and that the parents will give me their address through the columns of the Kansas City

Starting point is 01:11:08 weekly times, I will send them money to pay her doctor's bill. And as to Mr. Wallace, I never tried to kill him. I only shot to make him let go of my friend. If I'd been so disposed, I could have shot him dead. Just let a party of men commit a bold robbery and the cries hang them. But President Ulysses Grant and his party can steal millions and it is all right. It is true. We are robbers, but we always rob in the glare of the day and in the teeth of the multitude. And we never kill only in self-defense without men refused to open their vaults and

Starting point is 01:11:42 safe to us. And when they refuse to unlock to us, we kill. Interesting rationalization here. You know, do we kill? Yeah, yeah, we do. But only in self defense. It's almost like he doesn't know what self defense means. When I point my gun at a bank teller, and I tell him to open up the vault,

Starting point is 01:12:00 and give me all that goddamn money. And he says that he doesn't know the combination or that he won't do it for some other reason. I feel threatened. I suddenly feel very unsafe. And then I feel I compare to defend myself by shooting that dumb son of a bitch between the eyes and then pointing my gun to someone else

Starting point is 01:12:18 and ask them to give me that goddamn money. And I feel that my life is in danger once again that they refuse to cooperate with me. Nothing makes me feel more unsafe than someone refusing to give me other goddamn money. Jesse's letter, or at least letter, thought to be written by Jesse continues. But a man who has goddamn enough food to refuse to open a safe or a vault when he is covered with the pistol out to die. There is no use for a man to try to do anything when an experienced robber gets to go on him. If he gives you alarm or resist or refuses to unlock, he gets

Starting point is 01:12:49 killed. And if he obeys, he is not hurting the flesh, but he is in the purse. All right, I, I, he seems a little more self aware there. Some editors call us thieves. We are not thieves. We are bold robbers. It hurts me very much to be called a thief. It makes me feel like they were trying to put me on par with President Grant and his party. We are bold robbers. It hurts me very much to be called a thief. It makes me feel like they were trying to put me on par with President Grant and his party. We are bold robbers. And I'm proud for the name for Alexander. The great was a bold robber and Julius Caesar and Napoleon Bonaparte and Sir William Wallace, not old Ben Wallace and Robert Emmett. Please rank me with these and not with the grandites. Grant's party has no respect for anyone. They robbed the poor and rich, and we robbed the rich and give to the poor as to the author

Starting point is 01:13:32 of the letter. The public will never know. I will close by hoping that Horace Gritty will defeat Grant and then I can make an honest living and then I will not have to rob as taxes will not be so heavy. Can't it? Interesting rationalization. I mean, yeah, I mean, sure, I, you know, I wouldn not have to rob as taxes will not be so heavy. Can't it? Interesting rationalities. I mean, yeah, I mean, sure, I wouldn't have to rob if it wasn't for, you know, taxes. How much was the pay to the taxes without, you know, holding up banks and stagecoach and

Starting point is 01:13:56 trains. I like that he claims to be a freedom fighter like William Wallace. You know, but he's not waged war against the union. He's just taking random people's money. He's not hurting the government. He's attacking private businesses. He once was a political fighter. Now he feels a little bit like a, like a thief in a revolutionaries, you know, clothing.

Starting point is 01:14:12 May 27, 1873, four members of the James Younger Gangs steal four, four, ah, $4,100 from the St. Genevieve Savings Bank of St. Genevieve, Missouri. No one's killed or injured in the robbery. The union government also not injured. No loot given to any Confederate revolutionary cause. After the heist, the gang steps up their game from bank robberies to train robberies. The James Younger gang robs their first train near Adair, Iowa, July 21st, 1873. During the robbery, they wrecked the Chicago Rock Island and Pacific Rail railroad train overturned the engine. The train engineer died in the accident and the gang made off with $3,000 from passengers

Starting point is 01:14:49 and funds retrieved from the express car. And it was the first train robbery of the Wild West, the first to occur West of the Mississippi. Journalist John Newman Edwards published that glowing 20 page story on the gang after this robbery. On January 15th, 1874, Jesse James and four members of the gang robbed their first stage coach near Hot Springs, Arkansas. Beautiful place, by the way. They took cash and jewels, valued at approximately $3,000.

Starting point is 01:15:13 No one was injured. Years later, after Jesse's death, the gold watch taken from one of the stage passengers would be found amongst his effects. On January 31st, 1874, five to seven members of the younger James gang hold up the St. Louis Iron Mountain and Southern railroad train at Gads Hill, Missouri. No one's injured and they make off with $12,000. In early 1874, after the Gads Hill, Missouri train robbery, the Adams Express Company begs the Pinkertons to please bring the brothers Frank and Jesse James to justice.

Starting point is 01:15:41 Finally, Express companies were paid to carry valuables on the railroads, and they, rather than the train companies, typically suffered the largest losses during robberies. Pinkerton accepted the assignment and sent one of his detectives to Clay County Missouri to investigate and make another attempt to capture the James brothers. On March 10th, 1874, Pinkerton agent Joseph Witcher arrives in Clay County, Missouri, do a little reconnaissance. And then if you recall us going over this and the Pinkerton suck, you know that this mission goes really, really bad for Agent Witcher. Which your plan to go to the James farm and become a quaint with Jesse and Frank and then capture them.

Starting point is 01:16:16 And he's warned before he does this by local sheriff that that old woman's RELDA will kill you if the boys don't. The next day his dead body is discovered. He'd been shot three times. It's not the gang member, Arthur C. McCoy was this killer, but more fun, maybe the things are relevant to it. Which is death scares off the express company, but not the old abolitionist, Pinkerton, who vows vengeance on the outlaws.

Starting point is 01:16:39 You know, he's saying there is no use talking. They must die. That's what he wrote regarding James brothers. Pretty direct. I gotta say I like Pinkerton's style. He doesn't, he doesn't mean his words. How, how do we deal with the James brothers, Alan? They must die. All right then. The following months when Pinkerton's men are on their trail, Jesse, Mary's his longtime love, Zarelda. Yep. April 23rd, 1874, Jesse, James, Mary's his blood relation. This motherfucker didn't fuck his mother, but he probably had already been fucking his

Starting point is 01:17:09 first cousin who is now getting married to and they wanted to make their union legal. They could now legally try to have beautiful two head and three armed incest cronies. On April 23rd, 1874, Jesse marries his cousins, Relda, Surrelda, Amanda Mims, and Kansas City, Missouri, a woman named after his own mother because, you know, she was her aunt. Now she would be her mother-in-law aunt, not backwards at all. Ha, fuck off, fuck off.

Starting point is 01:17:33 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I picture that being played at the wedding. Don't meet a lot of Zarelda's these these days by the way. I did find a few on Instagram Down will ever, down will ever have another sucked. They'll feature in two different Zerilda's in the same story What's short for Zerilda? Zer, Elda, Zerilda? They inspired Legend of Zelda. Was that a game about incest? I'm getting way off track. Zerilda, Zerilda, Zerilda Have been engaged for nine years while the James younger gang was in full swing So they for sure did it

Starting point is 01:18:07 Who could stay engaged that long and not do it other than maybe Tim Tebow? On their wedding day, Jesse stood tall and slim as dark hair neatly combed his hazel eyes peered out from under dark eyebrows Zarel to a beautiful woman high cheekbones They made for a very attractive couple. There's about 50 their mutual friends assembled for the occasion. The ceremony was performed by Jesse's uncle William, who's a Methodist minister and who I'm guessing is also the second or third cousin or some shit. Incessories have very confusing branches. After the wedding, the Nileweds honeymoon in Galveston, Texas.

Starting point is 01:18:37 It's also said in a handful of Jesse James' biographies that he took his gang with him on the honeymoon and they robbed a stagecoach. What a workaholic.aholic work, work, work. Also while getting some of that sweet first cousin love and down on the Gulf of Mexico, reporter from the St. Louis dispatch does what the Pinkerton's do not tracks down Jesse James. The reporter asked why would a woman marry the world's most notorious outlaw? And according to what Jesse told the dispatch reported that day in Galveston, it was love.

Starting point is 01:19:04 So also a romantic. And again, because Zarelda had the same name as Jesse's mom, she would go by abbreviate a version from then on. Z. That does sound better than elder or Zelda. Z would go on to become a strong woman who was also a gentle, loving wife and mother, fiercely loyal and trustworthy. She also would never take part in any aspect of her husband's criminal exploits. Little more than a year later, the young couple assumes the aliases of Dave and Josie Howard and they settled in the edge field Tennessee in the North Bank of the Cumberland River across from Nashville. Jesse decides to give honest liven and try for the first time in his life. Ha, JK, OMG. He kept pointing guns, strangers and threatening to kill them as they did

Starting point is 01:19:43 get all his goddamn money. LOL, yolo. Uh, the same month, Jesse gets married in April of 1874, his gang robs a stage coach in Austin, Texas. Then on June 6th of 1874, Frank James gets married as well to Annie Ralston and Omaha Nebraska. Annie was the daughter of a wealthy independence Missouri businessman named Samuel Ralston. Perhaps Frank's one time desire to be a teacher. His pension for intellectual pursuits attracted him to Miss Ralston, who was working as a

Starting point is 01:20:08 school teacher when she met and married him. Now that both of them were married, the James boys were really done with theaving for good. JK, they ended up robbing a rating with still TBD, I am H O R O F L T T Y L. Two months later on August 30th, 1874, the Waverley Lexington Omnibus stage coach robbery blamed on the James gang. They're not close to done. Few months later, in December 7th, the Tisha Mingo savings bank robbery and current Mississippi also blamed on the James Younger gang. 10,000 taken from the bank, no one injured. However, the blame for this robbery does seem somewhat unlikely as the James Younger gang robbed a train in Kansas the very next day.

Starting point is 01:20:47 So maybe they did that one, maybe not. December 8th, 1874, the gang commits one of their largest heists. The Kansas Pacific Railroad, Muncie Kansas, was held up by Jesse and his cohorts, which made them $55,000 richer. No fatalities are injuries, but 55 grand, equate into well over $1 million in today's money. How are they going to spend it all? Well, those fucking meddling pinkertons are around trying to track them down. Surveillance of the James Farm was becoming an ongoing issue because of the pinkertons.

Starting point is 01:21:14 In January of 1875, a pinkerton agent named Jack Ladd was posing as a field hand at work on the farm across the road from the James Farm. The farm belonging to a neighbor, Dan Esque, served as a hideout for this Pinkerton spy. Undercover work, one of the many types of detective work, the Pinkerton's pioneered, if you remember that from that suck. One afternoon, this agent thinks he spots Jesse and Frank at the farmhouse and contacts other Pinkerton agents to come in and raid the James farm. Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready for tonight's championship match?

Starting point is 01:21:51 Welcome to Clay County, Missouri. It's a showdown years of the making, prepared to get struck by lightning because the Pingerton are bringing down the thunder. They're taking on the world champion stageco train and bank, Robbers, the James Brothers, Frank and Jesse, who lives, who dies, who rakes the most bullets down from the sky. Except there wouldn't be a showdown because Agent Lad fucked up. He was wrong and members of the James family would pay the price for his error in judgment. On January 26, 1875, thinking that the James brothers were hiding out at the family farm,

Starting point is 01:22:25 six Pinkerton agents surround their mother's home near Carnia, Missouri. In an effort to lure them out, the agents toss a smoke bomb into the house, and then Jesse and Frank's nine-year-old-a-half-brother Archie Samuel, thinking it was a loose stick from the fire, tosses it back into the fireplace where it explodes. Whoops! The explosion kills a young boy boy wounds Jesse and Frank's mother Zarelda. Uh, wounds are right hand in arm so badly. She later to have later had most of her right arm amputated. This attack, as you can imagine, a little bit of a PR nightmare for

Starting point is 01:22:54 the Piggertons. They don't catch the James brothers. They do kill an innocent boy, almost kill their mother who never robbed anyone. The people in the press, Missouri rally against the Piggertons rally behind Jesse and Frank James. They were seen not as criminals, but as victims of violence dealt out by Union thugs. The James brothers don't waste any time of engine to death of their half brother and their attack on their mother. Less than three months later in April 12th, 1875, Dan Asquieu, the neighbor who had sheltered Jack Lad, the Pinkerton spy, found dead with the bullet in his brain in his home. Later that same month, Pinkerton undercover agent Jack Lad also found shot and killed.

Starting point is 01:23:31 After Lad's death, the Pinkerton's give up their pursuit of the James brothers for good. Which is pretty crazy. But the Pinkerton's like, fah, we're fucking done. Enough. Enough with these assholes. Admits this chaos, Jesse and Z have their first child Jesse Edwards James born on August 31 1875 Jesse is a father for the first time in only 27 years old amazing how all this has happened in only 27 years old. Fatherhood does nothing to slow down his

Starting point is 01:23:57 crimes free. He was a career criminal for sure. On September 7th 1875, the James Younger gang robs the Huntington Bank and Huntington West Virginia Virginia, another cool place, making off with somewhere between 10,000, 20,000 bucks. New gang member, Tom McDaniel shot and killed another new member, Tom Webb, caught trying to escape with the money. Another big score for the gang occurs on July 7th, 1876 when they robbed the Missouri Pacific Railroad train and Rocky Cup Missouri, take $15,000. If you keep in track, the James Younger game been robbing a raid for 10 years now and they haven't lost any of the Youngers

Starting point is 01:24:30 or the James Brothers. But then that changes in September of 1876. The good luck of the James Younger game comes to an end with their infamous failed attempt to rob the first national bank of Northfield, Minnesota on September 7. Acting bank cashier Joseph Lee Haywood refuses to open the safe in duckstown and Jesse doesn't care for that.

Starting point is 01:24:50 He feels threatened. It scares him. He doesn't feel safe and he needs to clearly defend himself. He had been very fucking clear in that letter. Jesse put a pistol to the cashier's head and shoots him dead. And the shot is heard beyond the bank and And when the bank alarm goes off, Northfield citizens respond by opening fire upon the gang. Two Northfield citizens killed in the shootout gang members, Charlie pits and bill child

Starting point is 01:25:13 well shot and killed bill Chadwell, excuse me, cold Jim Bob younger all shot, but managed to escape briefly due to their wounds. They're a lot easier to track. All three are captured over the next two weeks. Frank and Jesse escape, make it back to Missouri unharmed, but their gang is over. With the younger brothers gone, rather than give up on crime, the gang becomes a James gang. And they just take on a little, you know, rating intermission, lay low in Tennessee

Starting point is 01:25:37 for a while, but they'll get back to crime here shortly. Cole and Jim Younger would both spend the next 25 years in the Minnesota Territorial Prison and still water. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal.

Starting point is 01:25:50 It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal.

Starting point is 01:25:58 It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a big deal. It's a Younger and Frank James Wild West Company. Bob would die of tuberculosis, as I mentioned earlier, at the age of 35 in 1889 in prison. As the turmoil ensues around them, the James brothers still live in their domestic lives.

Starting point is 01:26:15 On February 6, 1878, Robert Franklin James, Frank and Annie's only child is born at Frank's Walton Farm near Nashville. On June 17, 1879, Mary Susan James, born to Jesse and Z James. Mary was named after Jesse's sister, Susan and Z's mother Mary. Surely after the birth, the Mary Susan, Jesse and Frank recruit new gang members and get right back to Robin and Raiden. Ha, ha, ha! On October 8th, 1879, in Chicago, Aldon, St. Louis train at the Glendale and at Glendale Missouri, robbed by the James gang of about $10,000 bucks, over $200,000 in today's money. The following year, September 3rd, 1880, the brothers make off with $1800 from a stage coach and mammoth cave Kentucky.

Starting point is 01:26:54 In February of 1881, BJ Woodson, a Frank James A. Lys, rents a house for $8 a month on Fatherland Street in Nashville, Tennessee, a man by the name of John Davis Howard, a Jesse James A. Lias comes to visit. These brothers are continually planning new heists. In March of 1881, $5,200 is taken from a paymaster as he leaves a bank in Muscle Shoes, Alabama, the James gang is blamed. On July 15, 1881, the James gang robs the Chicago Rock Island Pacific Railroad train near Winston, Missouri of $2,000.

Starting point is 01:27:25 In an altercation during the robbery, Frank murders are man named Frank McMillan and also the train conductor William Westfall. The gang robs another train that September. They hold up to Chicago and all in train. It blew cut near Glendale, Missouri on September 7th. They make off with $3,000 in cash and then take jewelry from the passengers. On Christmas Eve in 1891, a man named Tom Howard, actually Jesse James and his family rent a house on Lafayette Street in St. Joseph, Missouri. With the $10,000 reward over his head, Z tries to get Jesse to take on a more

Starting point is 01:27:56 normal life. Jesse agrees, but only after one last bank robbery, just one more in Platt County, Missouri. Jesse had finally decided to retire allegedly, but as the cliche goes, he just wanted one more score. He hopes to come away with enough money to become a gentleman farmer. He plans the robbery with Bob and Charles Ford, young brothers and recent gang members who Jesse had worked with the bit in the past. The Ford brothers visit the James home in St. Joseph on the morning of April 3, 1882. Bob Ford with his brother Charles enters Jesse's

Starting point is 01:28:26 home at about 827 am. While outlying his plans for the robbery with Bob and Charles and the parlor of his home, Jesse notices that a framed needle point picture done by his mother was hanging crookedly on the wall. Jesse turns his back to the Ford brothers straight as the picture. And then he hears the sound of Bob Ford cocking his pistol. He starts to turn around and as he turns around, Bob shoots Jesse James in the back. Shoot him right below the ear, killing him instantly. So I mean, he shoots him in the back as far as his back's turn. Doesn't actually literally shoot him in the back. Shoot him in the head. Jesse's body hits the wall, fall to the floor, ends up lying on his back dead before he makes it to the ground, word quickly

Starting point is 01:29:03 spreads throughout the town that Jesse James, world famous outlaw has just been assassinated. He was only 34 years old. At the sound of the gunshot, Jesse's children run into the room. How sad is that? His wife Z follows. She desperately tries to stop the blood pouring out of her husband's head. Bob Ford leaves as Z runs in. Charles spends a few moments trying to tell her how the gun had gone off accidentally. Then he too makes a quick exit and runs after his brother. After his death, Jesse packed on ice, taken by train to Carney, where he has displayed and

Starting point is 01:29:34 viewed by hundreds of friends, admirers, curiosity seekers because that's what people used to do as we've learned here on the suck previously. It's like in weird, 19th, 19th, you know, in early 20th century, people used to love to look at the dead bodies of criminals. And I bet people do the same thing today if they could. I mean, get out of here. If Ed camper, you know, died next week, how many people do you think would pay a hundred bucks

Starting point is 01:29:57 or more to come check out his dead body? I'm guessing thousands and thousands just, why mother, why must they stare? Man, my japples will be getting real sick happy if I was still alive boy how do you where I want to fuck their next. Later Jesse was buried on the farm in a plot the family farm in a plot near the house so that Zareldo could keep an eye out for trespassers or souvenir hunters coming over to dig

Starting point is 01:30:21 him up. In no time were to spread the shooting. Indeed began to gather around the home, talking incessantly about the killing of the notorious outlaw, young Jesse Jr., who was six at the time, didn't even know who Jesse James was. He thought his dad was John Davis Howard. He thought his own name was Tim Howard,

Starting point is 01:30:37 all these aliases. So why did 21-year-old Bob Ford kill his former gang leader for two reasons. The first was it Ford had killed a man by the name of Wood Height in January of 1882 and sought a pardon for it. When word of the shooting resulted in Ford's arrest, he informed the officer that he had access to the much more wanted Jesse James and Missouri's new governor, Thomas Kripton. That's a fucking weird name. Kripton, Kri. Crittenden doesn't flow off the tongue. It's called Thomas Kritter.

Starting point is 01:31:07 We're on. Governor Kritter. Governor Kritter, who was sick of Jesse's outlaw antics, secretly cut four to deal, killed Jesse James and get a pardon. Teeny, weeny, bit illegal. But that's how bad he wanted Jesse dead. He would let a murderer get away with murder. If that murderer murdered one more time.

Starting point is 01:31:28 The second reason was the reward. Some railroad and express companies had come together and collectively offered $10,000 for Jesse's captured dead or live. Meanwhile, some of Jesse's other gang members had been killed or captured in the face of, you know, governor, critters, relentless pursuit. Ironically, Jesse thought the Ford brothers would last two people he could trust. Before his death at Bob's hand, Jesse had been getting increasingly paranoid and his gang was falling apart. Had he not been shot by Ford, someone highly likely, someone else would have shot him soon or would have been captured. Jesse had recently killed gang member Ed Miller.

Starting point is 01:31:57 At paranoid, also scared away Jim Cummins after he began to suspect Cummins of treachery. God damn it, Uncle Wendy. Wow, why do you continue to humiliate me? First, you're a shitty author and now you're treachery god damn it like a windy wow why do you continue to humiliate me first your shitty author and how you're treacherous a few weeks before Bob shot him James had invited the Ford brothers to move into his new home in St. Joseph the Ford said yes, waited for their chance strike. Initially Ford was charged with murdering both Woodhite and Jesse James but then true to his word Governor Critter perolled him while he stood trial for murder. As for the reward money, he received only a fraction of the reward. Damn dirty dealing railroad

Starting point is 01:32:30 tack hoons. Returning to their hometown of Richmond, Missouri, Bob and Charles not greeted kindly. Residents found the killing of Jesse James distasteful and they made life unbearable for the two brothers. Charles Ford fled Richmond when he heard that Frank James was searching for them to kill them and revenge for his brother's death. Then Charles kept running from town to town for the next two years, changing his name several times. The stress of wandering, if Frank would find him or not, and the beginning of symptoms of consumption led to an addiction to morphine. And then Charles committed suicide two years after Jesse's murder in 1884. Bob Ford did not run her hide. He initially tried to capitalize

Starting point is 01:33:03 on the notoriety he gained for his betrayal of Jesse taken to the stage, apparent in the stage show titled Outlaws of Missouri. Several nights Ford retold his story, carefully omitting the part about, you know, James backs been turned when he shot him. His charade was short lived as he was greeted with cat calls, gears, hoots and challenges. And then for a short time post for pictures in those low brow dye museums we've talked about in previous sucks as the man who killed Jesse James. People could come to his little curiosity, carny type places and get a picture with Bob

Starting point is 01:33:32 for Ford left Missouri, traveling all the way to Las Vegas, New Mexico, then to Creed Colorado where he was shot down in his own saloon on June 8th 1892 by a man named Edward O'Kelly. O'Kelly walked in the Bob sling with a shotgun. Ford's back was to Ed as Ed said, hello, Bob. When Ford turned around, O'Kelly emptied both barrels of the shotgun, killing Ford and becoming known as the man who killed Robert Ford. Ford was initially buried in Colorado, but his body was later moved and reinterred at Richmond cemetery in Ray County, Missouri. The man who shot Jesse James is inscribed on his tombstone.

Starting point is 01:34:05 He was 32 years old when he was gunned down. When Jesse died, most people assumed that he had left a wealthy widow in Z, but that was not the case at all. In fact, the only valuables that they owned were a few weapons, a bit of stolen jewelry, and some assorted memorabilia. In late April of 1882, the distraught Z James was forced to sell to sell almost all of her and her husband's possessions to earn sell almost all of her and her husband's possessions to earn money, and then she and her children moved in with her brother

Starting point is 01:34:28 in Kansas City. Donnie only black clothing for the rest of her days, poor Z, never remarried and became a recluse, which is exactly what I want, Lindsey, to do if I die. That's terrible. I want Reverend Dr. Joe Horsecock, Johnson to look after her, but never touch her. Do not fucking ever touch her. Anyway, young Jesse James Jr. forced to go work at the age of 11 to help support his mother and little sister.

Starting point is 01:34:54 I do want my son, Kair to go to work if I pass soon. And the doodles, Penny and Ginger, I want all fucking all three of those candy asses to go work. They could all toughen up a little bit. Though the family suffered emotionally and financially for the rest of his life, she refused all offers to publish books or any information regarding Jesse's life.

Starting point is 01:35:11 She was a good wife and a good first cousin. She was a super, as far as first cousin wives go, really up top shelf, one of the best. On October 5th, 1882, a defeated Frank James, surrenders to Missouri, governor critter, after fighting and raiding since May of 1861. After over 20 years of being hunted, he wanted it to be over. Frank would incredibly be acquitted of all charges and live as a free man until 1915 when

Starting point is 01:35:34 he died at the age of 72. He died where he was, excuse me, or he was born Clay County, Missouri, spending the final few years of his life after working out jobs all over the West, turned with Cole Younger in that stage show throughout the South, and then giving tours of the James family farm. And how crazy is that? He spent the last couple years of his life giving a tour of the farm. The dude, Robin murdered for years, and then gave tours of where he grew up.

Starting point is 01:35:57 I mean, that really is pretty similar to like letting the unibomber out of prison, and then having Ted Kaczynski move back to on Tana and just give tours of the cabin where he made all the bombs. And here's where I made my first bomb. I was sitting right there when I found that I'd blown up and killed my first person. I was eating a sandwich. I was eating a ham sandwich thinking about how much I hated technology. Z James in a deep depression ever since her husband Jesse's death dies on November 13th, 1900, Z would be buried at the Mount Olivet Cemetery in Carnie, Missouri. So, relative Samuel, mother of Jesse and Frank dies of a heart attack at the age of 86 on February 10th, 1911.

Starting point is 01:36:34 She is buried at the Mount Elevitt Cemetery. Four years later, February 18th, 1915, Frank James dies at the age of 72. And then just over a year later, Cole Younger dies on March 21, 1916, the last living former leader of the notorious James Younger Outlaw gang. And while that is the end of this time of timeline, it is not the end of today's story. Good job, soldier.

Starting point is 01:37:00 You made it back. Barely. So what is there left to talk about regarding Jesse James? How about the rumor that he faked his own death and lived long after Bob Ford supposedly killed him? Hello wrestling fans, are you ready for tonight's main event? Jesse James takes on the Grim Reaper! Move over, James! Step aside, undertaker! The outlaw takes on DEL! Can the man the Miss Blue Legend kill his own assassination?

Starting point is 01:37:40 Find out his night cage match! Referee by none other than Albert Fish. Show beach. How they do it in Hollywood. What's seriously, did he fake his own death? The whole shot in the back wall is written out of picture thing, which is far too mundane. For the rabid Jesse James, Jesse James, Jesse James, Jesse James and the Unde.

Starting point is 01:37:58 For the rabid Jesse James fans, to accept and conspiracy sprung up almost immediately regarding James not actually being shot According to a man named Jay Frank Dalton Jesse James for sure faked his death in the spring of 1948 The elderly Dalton claimed Jesse James was still alive and well and living in a cabin just outside the Marimette caverns in Missouri And how did Dalton know well because Dalton claimed to be Jesse James and if you're thinking When that make him like a hundred years old, yeah, yeah, would. And I should note before examining this possibility that when James died,

Starting point is 01:38:29 these scars from his multiple gunshot wounds to the chest and missing middle finger helped the police identify his body. So, okay, he's close, right? I mean, he's for sure dead, right? Not necessarily, not for some. Some think Alden really was Jesse James. Alden really was born around the same time as James,

Starting point is 01:38:45 possibly exactly the same time. He was actually a hundred years old, or possibly if he was lying just a bit older, and his body appeared to have been through hell. He had several bullet wounds, a rope of burn around his neck, it collapsed along a damaged fingertip. For some who met him, his wounds were consistent

Starting point is 01:39:00 with Jesse James wounds. At the very least, it does seem Dalton had been a pro Confederate guerrilla in World War II in the Civil War. Dude probably didn't shoot himself to get all those scars. Dalton died at the age of 103 in August 15th, 1951 in Grandbury, Texas, and his death certificate was recorded with the name of the man he claimed to be, but that doesn't make him Jesse James. So how did he say effect his own death?

Starting point is 01:39:23 Here's what he claims happened. He says the real murder victim was Charles Charlie Bigelow and undercover Pinkerton detective who was posing as Jesse James committing robberies and curing the wrath and vengeance of the real Jesse James. But did this agent Bigelow guy even really exist? This name doesn't show up in the usual credible places I tend to find records of the deceased when I searched for him. Dalton's theory holds that there was a murder,

Starting point is 01:39:47 hoax conspiracy involving several people, all close friends of the real Jesse James, who conspired together to murder someone and who then all swore before the investigating officials that the murder victim was Jesse James. The goal of the conspirators was to manipulate and or control the murder evidence in such a way that the law enforcement and judicial authorities

Starting point is 01:40:04 involved investigating the murder would certify the Jesse was legally dead thus setting Jesse James free. It's a cool story, bro. Right? And then what? And then just the four brothers endured a shit ton of public scorn for years because they were just really good friends of Jesse and his family faked their grief, I guess. And law officials and friends who'd met him are known him well were duped into thinking the dead body

Starting point is 01:40:27 put on display was really him. Now do I believe this shit? No, not for a second. I don't believe Jesse James would abandon his wife Z and his children and let his family live in utter misery in financial ruin for many years, which for sure happened. I do think good for you old man, Dalton. Again, cool story. You know, again,

Starting point is 01:40:45 cool story. Way to enjoy your bonus golden years. I mean, dude, dude created quite a little fancy life for himself, you know, over a hundred years old. He tricked a fair number of journalists and authors. He was lucid and able to weave quite the tale, quite the tall tale at that age. I hope that I can a live that long and be still be able to fuck with people on that age. Also, Jesse James' body was exhumed in 1995. His DNA was tested against that of a descendant, and the results proved that it was highly likely that investigators were indeed examining

Starting point is 01:41:11 the remains of the outlaw. Basically, DNA testing confirmed that Jesse did die in 1882 as much as familial DNA testing can. Jesse James, potentially faking his own death is an elaborate conspiracy revolving around the infamous outlaw, but it's not the most elaborate one. Another interesting theory comes from one of Jesse's own descendants, and it includes not only a different fake death

Starting point is 01:41:33 story, but also secret societies and even connections to treasures like the Oak Island money pit. A man named Daniel J. Duke, a man who claims to be Jesse James, great, great grandson, has allegedly put 20 years of research into his family's sort of mythicized and hyperbolic history. Dude, Duke takes the romanticized version of Jesse's life and turns it up to 11, one louder in his 2019 book, Jesse James and the Lost Temple Treasure, Secret Diaries, coded maps, and the Knights of the Golden Circle. Something Jesse James left behind some secret diaries

Starting point is 01:42:05 and some coded treasure maps, and Duke apparently has one of Jesse's diaries and has copies of a few of these treasure maps and working to decrypt these maps, Duke claims we have revealed a number of hidden treasures yet to be recovered, as well as connections between the infamous train robber and free Masonry, of course, the Knights Templars,

Starting point is 01:42:22 of course, the founding fathers and even Jewish mysticism. So, you know, Jesse James was a fucking space lizard. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The book also explains how Jesse James used techniques involving sacred geometry and esoteric symbols to hide his treasures and encode the maps. Duke claims his decoding of some of the maps secrets do confirm the existence of Jesse James treasure in Oak Island, of course. Duke also explains how he thinks Jesse James faked his death and lived out his final years

Starting point is 01:42:47 under the name James L. Courtney. In 1882, he became, apparently became a free Mason under that name. Duke claims to uncover truths about James' affiliation with the Knights of the Golden Circle. That's super pro-slavery, secret society that has reported to a very Confederate goal across the U.S. Duke claims that his famous ancestor was not a member of the group, but actually linked to much older secret societies like the Roast of Crucions.

Starting point is 01:43:09 Do goes to great lengths to win the reader over, with not just the family history he claims to possess, which includes that one supposed diary and several other artifacts. But also with information on the DNA test of Jesse James in which he claims that their family was, you know, the body dug up. And I didn't know five was actually not true.

Starting point is 01:43:27 And in fact, his mom even wrote a book, David Duke's mother wrote a book in 1998 titled Jesse James lived and died in Texas. And she claims approved that the body of Jesse James, you know, that was dug up and DNA test it was actually somebody else. There's a lot to digest in his claims. From millions of dollars of gold buried under a lake somewhere, to fucking Oak Island, to stories about Jesse James Robyn and Donkey Train,

Starting point is 01:43:49 that was transported in tens of millions of dollars worth of gold. Since Duke is mostly pushing his book towards conspiracy shows and kind of it's popular in tinfoil hat kind of circles, it is best to approach his story with a grain or two or a huge goddamn mound of salt. Do I buy history? Fuck no, not even for a little bit, but it's conspiracy that is out there. So I thought I you know, acknowledge it. It comes across to me as as Randy shock type of insanity,

Starting point is 01:44:16 you know, like like like if Randy was writing about it just high. Did you know Jesse James was a night's templer, and also a Freemason Satanist, and he used blood sacrifice to bury magic gold. In a dwarf mine that leads to Oak Island, Ark of the Covenant, I tell you what Paul Harvey told my dad about Ross accrucian gold. Jesse buried in Atlantis, Asculamururian if you don't believe me see you later There's no need to try and make Jesse's life bigger than it was it was already legendary in the 12 to 15 years of his criminal career Jesse James took part somewhere between 19 and 26 robberies Including banks train stage coaches his crimes stretch from Mississippi to West Virginia to Minnesota

Starting point is 01:45:02 Some have estimated he helps steal around five million, you know, in today's dollars. Between 17, 20 people died as a result of his gang's robberies, including seven of his cohorts. Law enforcement and private detectives failed repeatedly to catch Jesse, you know, Missouri earned the nickname the Robert State because of his activities. Jesse fought numerous civil war battles, guerrillas skirmishes. Who knows how many men met their deaths at his hands when he ran with men like bloody bill and quantraels raiders. The dude lived a long and bloody life. And as an outlaw, he never got caught, which is crazy to me.

Starting point is 01:45:33 He robbed time and time again for years and got away with it. And was he a hero? No, I don't think so. I think it was a seriously tough son of a bitch. And if I lived around him, I sure as hell wouldn't across him, but I don't think he was a hero. I think it was really good tough son of a bitch. And if I lived around him, you know, I sure as hell wouldn't across him, but I don't think he was a hero. I think it was really good to be in an outlaw. I also do feel some sympathy for him.

Starting point is 01:45:51 It's easy for us to get on our moral high horses now and just simplistically say slavery was bad. South, wrong. Should just lay down their guns and accept that and been better people. But we didn't live 150 years ago. We weren't raised as if that was normal. We didn't grow up and then run farms and plantations that we thought, depending on slave labor to work,

Starting point is 01:46:11 we also weren't beaten by union soldiers. We didn't have our homes burned to the ground or family members assaulted and killed. Jesse did experience all of this. If I was him, I'm guessing I would have fucking hated the union too. And in the sense of, you know, you fuck with my family, now I'm gonna fuck with you.

Starting point is 01:46:26 I get some of what he did. I get his teenage joining of the Confederate guerrilla forces. That's for his deeds going on for a year after your after the war. I think you just like stealing people shit. He could have left the area. He could have started a new life for himself, but he didn't.

Starting point is 01:46:39 He robbed and killed over and over again. Outlaw is a cool word, but really at the end of his life, you know, he was more of a thief or a terrorist, just to highly celebrate his psychopath with a good PR guy. All that being said, I still love a story. So bold and brazen and his crime so tough. And there is something romantic about the about the notion of the Wild West outlaw, not hide behind a bulletproof vest or snipe him with a rifle or walk into a mall and open fire on on armed people with superior weaponry. I mean, I know the bank tellers and railroad employees were armed either, but the way these

Starting point is 01:47:13 guys robbed and raided, I don't want to say there was something cool about it, but their crimes seem somehow seem, I don't know, more dignified to me in some way than a lot more modern crime. I don't know, maybe I just watched too many Westerns growing up. Maybe just romanticized it for me. Maybe I just spent too much time dreaming about being an outlaw myself, riding off on a horseback after taking a bunch of cold hard cash from a train.

Starting point is 01:47:37 I mean, I know it's fucked up, but even just thinking about it right now, I'm like, ah, sounds fucking sweet. I'm probably just rationalizing about a guy who made me a total derby. I don't know, let's get out of here. Let's go to today's top five takeaways. Yeah, ah, sounds fucking sweet. I'm probably just rationalizing about a guy who made me a total dirt bit. Now, let's get out here. Let's go to today's top five takeaways. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Starting point is 01:47:50 Time to suck, top five takeaways. Number one, it's important to have a solid nickname or solid name. Just you know, if you want to be remembered, Billy the Kid, Wild Bill Hickock, solid Jesse James, powerful, want to be remembered, Billy the Kid, Wild Bill Hickock, solid, Jesse James, powerful, good eliteration, Frank James, not as cool. Sounds like an accountant, Frank sounds kind of a bummer.

Starting point is 01:48:12 Wendy Jim Cummins, dumb. You need a cool name to be a memorable outlaw. Reverend Dr. Paisley could be an outlaw now with his new nickname of Horsecock Johnson. All right, that's fucking, that's powerful, it's alpha way better than micro-pean. No, there he is, scare me.

Starting point is 01:48:29 No one gives a shit about the criminal exploits of micro-pean. Micro-pean is running off with the fucking weasel, with flappy sour patch. Not horsecock Johnson, he's with the James Younger gang. Number two, Jesse James married his first cousin and they had kids to survive to adulthood. Jesse Edward James, Jesse Jr. and Mary Susan James.

Starting point is 01:48:49 While two others died after birth, maybe because their parents were cousins. Don't know that for sure, but I think it is important to spread those genes around meat sacks. One of the books we referenced for this episode was written by Jesse's son, a lot of misspelled words in it. When I came across him, I did keep thinking, maybe we would have spelled that right. If his DNA had a little more balance, if a jeans root, you know, a little more spread out, the pool was a little deeper.

Starting point is 01:49:13 Number three, Jesse James didn't fake his own death. He didn't have coded diaries and treasure maps leading to Oak Island. Stop it. Fun to think about though. Number four, Jesse James was not the Robin Hood type character he is often portrayed as. The gang's he belonged to, you know, Barry, you know, the money for the poor to find, they buried it for themselves to find later. They spent the money they stole.

Starting point is 01:49:34 They didn't steal from the rich to give it to the poor. They stole from trans banks and stage coaches to keep that share for themselves. Number five, new info. Something we didn't discuss. Apparently Jesse James son, Jesse James Jr. worked for the very man who procured his father's death. Missouri governor, critter, governor, critter, Thomas T. Crichton. The story goes like this. When former governor, Thomas T. Crichton was asked if he had employed in his office, Jesse James Jr. whose father of the outlaw was killed through Mr. Crichton's instrumentality. Governor Crichter replied, if I were to build

Starting point is 01:50:06 a monument of denials as high as that erected to Washington at the Capitol, I don't suppose I could effectively stop the continued existence of this story. The facts in the case are that several years ago, my son, Thomas J. Crichton, Jr., then a real estate dealer in Kansas City, a now county clerk of Jackson County, in which Kansas City is located, advertised for a boy to work in his office. On the morning following the advertisement, a number of boys run hand to my son reported to a kind of civil service examination to test their merits. The boy whose papers were best was called forward and asked his name. My name is Jesse James Jr., who replied, my son was more than amazed and said, do you

Starting point is 01:50:41 know who I am? Yes, sir, you are Governor Critton, didn't son. Well, then you go home and tell your mother you know who I am? Yes, sir, you are Governor Critton in the sun. Well, then you go home and tell your mother about all this, and if she is willing for you to work for me, and at the way, just I offer, come back tomorrow morning. Very well, sir, I have got to help my mother and sister, and I'll come back, and back he was the next morning.

Starting point is 01:50:58 At this time, Mrs. Jesse James was living in the suburbs of Kansas City. Now, let me tell you what became of the boy. He remained with my son for several years, being honest and faithful to a degree. Then my son secured him a place in armor's packing house in Kansas City where he is now employed, respected by everyone and having a number of men under him.

Starting point is 01:51:16 And he is about 20 years of age, that is the whole story. So just weird little twist there, weird little side story. I mean, I don't know if I can do that. I mean, could you work for the son of the man who hired an assassin to kill your dad? Time, suck, top five takeaway. Jesse James and his involvement in the James Younger gang

Starting point is 01:51:36 has been sucked. What a life. Gotta be one of the most beloved serial murders in history. Thank you to the time, suck team. Thanks to Queen of the S suck Lindsey Cummins. High Priestess of the suck Harmony Velocamp, now here in the suck dungeon. Reverend Dr. Joe Horscock Johnson, Paisley.

Starting point is 01:51:53 Thanks to the Biddelixer app, design crew, new update coming soon. I promise thanks to Axis Apparel for all the recent cool ass merch. Thanks to Zach Scrippkeeper, Flint Steakford Merch even coming out. Thanks to Zach Scrippkeeper, Flannery and those hammers of knowledge, Sarah and Rebecca

Starting point is 01:52:07 Lilley for their research assistants on this one. Also, thanks to the time suckers and med students, Nick Batcher and Jess Kulung for lending their expertise to the anti-vaccination conspiracy suck. Sorry, I forgot to thank you two weeks ago. I blame Luciferina. Begone distracting temperatures. And for some reason, I blame Monkall, Wendy Jim. Go get her, Wendy Jim.

Starting point is 01:52:27 And thanks to all the space letters who came to the time suck, the gathering on Saturday and made it such a big success this Saturday before this past Saturday, as you're hearing it now. Looking for some social interaction with other suckers? Head to the cult of the Curious Private Face, but group now up to 12,000 members, around 12,000 members. It's getting close to becoming a small virtual city of somewhat like mighty curious, beautiful weirdos.

Starting point is 01:52:49 Hill Nimrod. Next Monday, Leonardo DaVinci, painter, architect, and vendor student of all things scientific, guy with the name Cool enough to be used for an Injectural many years later. A, a, a genius who crossed so many disciplines, he epitomizes the term Renaissance man. Today he remains best known for his art, including two paintings that remain among the world's most famous and admired Mona Lisa in the last supper, but he did much more than paint. Largely self-educated, he filled dozens of secret notebooks with inventions, observations, theories about pursuits from aeronautics to anatomy.

Starting point is 01:53:20 He was far, far ahead of his time. The rest of the world in the late 15th and early 16th century just beginning to share knowledge and books made with movable type. The concepts expressed in DaVinci's notebooks were just difficult for them to interpret. He was truly ahead of his time. As a result, his contemporaries didn't appreciate the full scope of his genius, the combination of intellect and imagination that allowed him to create, at least on paper, inventions like the bicycle, the helicopter, an airplane based on the physiology and flying capability of a bat. But did he kill anyone?

Starting point is 01:53:50 Is he hiding treasure in the Oak Island money pit? Don't know. You have to listen next week to find out. Now let's get to some time sucker updates. This first update comes from someone identifying themselves as general nonsense. Oh, mystery, I like it. They write. Greetings, master sucker. Remember when the US government was investigating the Russian email probe relating to influencing

Starting point is 01:54:19 US elections? I do. While rummaging through piles of data, authorities ran across references to a Russian top secret program. It roughly translates to project weak body. Subliotilo, something. It was a project created during the Cold War and was designed to spread propaganda across the countries of Europe and the United States regarding the dangers of vaccines.

Starting point is 01:54:38 The end goal of this project was to convince Russian foes to not vaccinate their children so that in the event of a war, Russian armies would more easily defeat those who opposed Russia. The project was created by none other than Vladimir Putin while he was still working within the KGB. When the Berlin Wall fell, he claimed to have burned Russian intelligence documents, but since he was the one that created those documents detailing the plans, it is questionable whether he actually followed through with the destruction, or if he did, it's presumed created new plans from his memory

Starting point is 01:55:09 or adds is presumed. This is how the whole anti-vax movement really started as the brainchild of Russian intelligence in order to conquer Western civilization. The plan was put in place and a convenient path he was found in Dr. Wakefield. Wakefield still remains his innocence and has his own conspiracy theories regarding the pharmaceutical companies that are out to get him and discredit him.

Starting point is 01:55:30 This was all cleverly crafted and well thought out by Putin decades before Wakefield came into the forefront. So the anti-vax movement is just another part of Russians plans to conquer the West. And the only way to truly combat this sort of subversive plan is to vaccinate our kids. Not only will it help their immune systems, but it will also counteract Russian plans to destroy the West.

Starting point is 01:55:51 Hope you liked that read. It's entirely made up in false. But I think someone who's anti-vax would believe it enough to actually decide to vaccinate their kids. You can't be crazy with facts and logic. You just have to be more crazy and outlandish, hail Nimrod, General Nonsense. That's fucking great. Love the creative misdirect and the message, General Nonsense.

Starting point is 01:56:10 Really love the idea, actually, of creating conspiracies. They get conspiracy theorists to do things that are good for their lives and for the rest of us. We need to come up with some conspiracies that make people wanna spend more time in the library, go back to school, enjoy school, take some critical thinking courses, and love self improvement. What if more people watch videos about that kind of shit on YouTube instead of watching

Starting point is 01:56:31 stuff on chemtrails and the building perks? That really would be amazing. I love where your head's at. All kinds of topic, hail, member, that was great. All kinds of topics getting touched on by a super sucker, Meg A in this update. Meg writes, dear master Suckington, warning in advance, this email is going to be all over the place.

Starting point is 01:56:48 I'll start by saying thank you. This week's episode gave me a huge laugh right when I needed it. I started listening to the episode of my way home from work and it was on the verge of tears due to money stress over our wedding that is less than three weeks away now. But when you started reading Randy Schach's author bio from Amazon, those stress tears

Starting point is 01:57:05 turned into tears of laughter. By the time you were done reading, I felt much better. Ah, I love hearing something like that. That's what's so great about time, so even in the darkest episodes, you find some humor to inject. As I continue to listen to the episode on my way back to work today, it got me thinking about how many creeps I've encountered in my life, and it made me realize, you know, how with a more paranoid brain, it really is easy to see evil conspiracies everywhere. The first flashback came when you were talking about the world's biggest piece of shit, pediatrician, and he reminded me of my own former pediatrician.

Starting point is 01:57:33 I never liked him because he was a mean old man. He tipped over into creepy old man when I went to him as a teenager, and he insisted I had to take my bra off. So he could use his stethoscope to listen to my heart and lungs, which no doctor has ever requested since. And actually on that note really quick, several messages from other time-suckers who had other doctors in the past talk about that exact same phenomenon. So fucking creepy.

Starting point is 01:57:54 Luckily after that, my mom's that I never had to go see him again. Then you started talking about the Catholic priest scandals and a reminder of my aunt's neighbor. For many years, her neighbor was a priest. He was a nice guy or seemed to be a nice guy and she was friendly with him. He would hold mass in his backyard and Sundays in the summer and would let me fish off of his docks when I would visit her or fish off his dock. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:58:14 Then he got busted for pedophilia. It was such a shock because you never would have guessed. It's the people you never would have suspected that make it all that much more scary. Now backtracking the last week's episode, I meant to write in last week, but note the aforementioned wedding stress. My student to be sister-in-law and her husband or anti-vaxxers, part of me wants to make them listen to the episode, but I fear they're already too far gone. They've gone to multiple rallies

Starting point is 01:58:34 and are planning on homeschooling their older son after it gets kicked out of school for not having the proper vaccinations. It looks, they said, quote, it looks better for future lawsuits than pulling him out, oh, then pulling him voluntarily. Huh.

Starting point is 01:58:47 Oh, that's crazy. They wanted to get kicked out so they can sue unfuck and believable. Well, on one hand, I can respect their desire to not have the government tell them how they have to raise their kids. I can't say I respect their lack of inoculations. In an ideal world, the government wouldn't have to force vaccines because every parent would want to vaccinate their kid to keep them safe. I think the problem is that we're so far removed from whether these diseases were a huge deal

Starting point is 01:59:08 agreed. We no longer see hundreds of thousands of people dying from them so we don't think catching measles is a big deal or an issue. I just feel kind of bad for my future nephew since they complain about him not having anyone to play with in their neighborhood, but are now planning on taking him out of the place where he has friends and kids to play with just for their own agenda. Well, this has already gone on long enough. So let's you move on to all the other emails you have to read.

Starting point is 01:59:27 Keep on suckin' Meg A. Thank you Meg for all the information. Thanks for sharing that I'm sure it resonates with other listeners. Yeah, covering a lot of interesting information. And it is scary how these people can just, you know, be around us that you mentioned earlier in the email. Funny family wack,

Starting point is 01:59:41 you do the Lost Technology Update, coming in from Sucker Robin Robin Kibby who writes Dr. Reverend meat sack Dan. I've been listening to your podcast. It's my boyfriend showed it to me almost four years ago I've you know, I like and this is an knock on you doll It's only been out for almost Three years, but because it become a part of people's lives I hear people sayings of all the time and I like I've been listening for like five years, which I love I love I love that it feels like it's just been around.

Starting point is 02:00:07 I've loved your comedy ever since. Can't wait until I turn 21 so that I see you spectacularly, air banjo and person, per-ne-t-t-t-tank-t-t-tank! Don't think! Fucking beautiful. Yo, tear up. I'll tell you now you're gonna tear up.

Starting point is 02:00:18 I just finished listening to your last technology episode and I thought you would like to know about my parents. A group was a Mormon in Utah, which is I'm sure you know means I was surrounded by my religion constantly. My group was a Mormon in Utah, which is I'm sure you know means I was surrounded by my religion constantly. My dad being a smart person saw through some of the leadership of the church, some nonsense it was going on,

Starting point is 02:00:31 and my parents became inactive when I was 15. At first, they still believed in all the teachings of the LDS church, just not the leadership. They found a group of friends who believed the same thing, and they went on to have sacrament on Sundays together. I get that. Flash forward to five years later, my parents and their friends are deeply involved in some new age shit.

Starting point is 02:00:48 My mom keeps crystals in her car now, and they believe in aliens, et cetera. My favorite part is that they watch ancient aliens religiously. They watch it seriously. My mom watches ancient aliens with a Bible on her lap taking notes about all the crazy shit they talk about. Believing every word, there was an episode about the pyramids, specifically that they were all connected by some sort of energy. And that if they were still connected,

Starting point is 02:01:09 there would be a power grid that would be more powerful than any tech we have today. Season five, episode one. And my mom bought all of it. She said, maybe if they were all connected, it would summon aliens, or angels, or maybe Christ himself. There are pastures in the book of Mormon that can verify this. You talking about the pyramids reminding me of that incident and I thought you and the team might get a kick out

Starting point is 02:01:27 of my crazy but loving parents. I love the work you are doing with this passion project. Look forward to seeing you live. I would love to see a Latter-day Saints episode because they have so much information on them and have somewhat of a shady history. I will gladly give you the articles and books I have about that history.

Starting point is 02:01:44 If you're interested, thanks for your time. Keep on sucking Robin. Yeah, actually, Robin, yes, if you want to send in those books, you can send them into PO Box 3891, Cordeline Idaho, A3816. We are going to be doing an LDS suck later this year, and I am excited for it just to learn more about the interesting history of that organization. And thanks for sharing that about the Pyramid Power Grid. I love how serious your mom is about it. Now some stuff I love coming in from Roman, uh, Catruta, uh, this fantastic time sucker writes, hello big daddy suck. My name is Roman Catruta. I'm from Moldova, but I'm by currently residing St. Louis, Missouri. Okay. Showed up a lot in today's tale. I love the podcast and your stand up. And I cannot wait to see you here

Starting point is 02:02:22 in St. Louis. I work on getting there for 2020 by the way. I know you aren't coming here anytime soon, but when you do, I definitely will buy a ticket and bring some friends along. I'm writing because the podcast is the only thing that's helped me from going insane at my job. I work long hours. The podcast makes the time fly by. My favorite episode is split between our filthy and crazy boy Vlad, the Hoki Pokey and the Samrise. Did you know that there's a graphic novel called Vagabon that is about the life of Miyamoto Musashi? It is very good and I recommend it.

Starting point is 02:02:49 Oh man, I wish I had more time for graphic novels, but I have heard that one. I just haven't read it. I just want to say thank you. I'm glad that I found a new family here in the spaces. It's an army. Praise beat about jangles. Keep on sucking. Much love, Roman.

Starting point is 02:03:00 Praise beat the spaces of Roman. Yeah, thanks for supporting the show and thanks for that update. Next update comes from Cold Member member, Mike Collapy, and is probably one of the cutest shout out requests ever. Dear master of the suck I've written in before, but this reason is because I saw that the Cordelaine Little League team made it to the regional finals in the Little League World Series.

Starting point is 02:03:18 The unfortunate loss in the finals on August 10th, but they should get a shout out. Since those boys played their hearts out in that field and went down swinging literally. They may not be old enough to listen, but maybe, you know, one of their parents or family members does and maybe lift a spirit or two, you know, if need be PS, I'll beat your Minnesota show. I hope to meet you since it's big deal. Well, thank you very much, Mikey, for writing that in. Yes, big, big congrats to the kids here in CDA, who almost made it back to the Little League World series.

Starting point is 02:03:47 A lot of amazing baseball being played by these kids in town. I saw that in the paper, but forgot to mention it. Very cool. Hopefully I can get us to watch them play one of these days. What a great game to me. I love baseball. This next update brings me joy. Is it sounds like the time suck university

Starting point is 02:04:02 has taken hold in another mind or two? From time sucker, Nick Lathenen who writes, Dear Master Sucker, I wanted to write you to say thank you for the various influences you've had in my life. My brother introduced me to your stand up. Yeah, thank you for that. Actually, I pause there because I was just thinking of, I always think of ridiculous shit to say. Right, when you were saying such a nice thing, I already was like, whatever, fucking dork.

Starting point is 02:04:23 And you're just like, let's move on to the next one No I'm glad I'm glad My brother introduced me to your stand-up and then your podcast shortly afterwards you've remarked Uh, oh, you know resparked my interest in learning about various subjects Even they might be considered dark the biggest influence. Oh, it's been on my brother himself after starting to listen He started making serious steps to further his education This is important to me because he never showed much interest in school when we were

Starting point is 02:04:46 growing up. Now he's going to college for green architecture. Seeing the spark in him has been amazing. I hope this message finds you well. I hope when you can give him a shout out, his name is Dylan. And he's made a couple road trips from the heart of Branson, Missouri. Missouri. Branson, Missouri.

Starting point is 02:05:01 For the sole purpose of seeing your stand up. Well, hail, Nimrod and hail Dylan. Get that fucking degree. You beautiful bastard and do so much good in the world. Love it. Love it. Now, very cool, Vax Nace. Just a couple of left, very cool, Vax Nace info coming from Super Sucker, Matt Baker, a guy who works in Vax Nace. He writes, and cert, technical jargon, Hey, time suck.

Starting point is 02:05:23 Power stream, the anti-vaxx and ninth circle cults love them. Thanks for the good info. Have a couple things I'd like to know, you'd like you to know about vaccines. Specifically, as part of my job, I administer vaccines like tetanus, hepatitis A and B, influenza, et cetera. And as someone who thinks critically

Starting point is 02:05:38 and if we're being honest suspiciously, I always read the manufacturer's information with these. The portions we commonly refer to as package inserts are included in medicines to be administered and give us data used for most of the studies done in the drugs. For example, a specific manufacturer now uses canine kidney cells to conjugate their flu shots, helping to bypass allergies to eggs and chicken in part of the population. Easy enough to ask for, and if you're nurse, medical assistant clinician has read and knows their stuff, they can spout it off easily.

Starting point is 02:06:07 Also of a technical boring note, individual dose packaging for vaccines like the flu shot is not generally required preservative ingredients. See the merisol, the organum mercury preservative, depending on the manufacturer. They ship refrigerated to eliminate the need for additional ingredients. Multidose vials will usually contain the preservative in small quantities to keep the vaccine stable after the vials are used for several patients, but you have already pointed out how minuscule the amount of mercury contained actually is. Thanks for reading this crap is kind of my job. Used to do workplace education and training for my job until a corporate

Starting point is 02:06:38 takeover shit can't be. So I'm back on the floor with my patients doing what I enjoy most anyway, aggravating my coworkers, also making them nervous with random, unprompted serial killer stats. Hey, old name, Rod. Also, for the love of God, if you have a question about medicine or healthcare, I know you have the best team for research, but I'm happy to answer questions, provide

Starting point is 02:06:53 phonetic pronunciation guides for medical jargon, see education training. Also, also, sometimes I'm thinking about for a while, I think my help is suck. Please tell me if I'm horribly mistaken. Can Dan, okay, can you drop some more anchor points and timelines? Drop it on anchor point to refer back to such as X-date Y-date. So we're three months from X-date now, helps to add cohesion to an narrative, also realistically

Starting point is 02:07:14 drawing a time frame. Dan does this occasionally, but I think more reference points in addition to listing the sequential dates would help show a flow of time a little better, especially for those of us that have listened to the suck on one and a half speed on the app for so long we can't go back to normal speed. Just at dot hobo helps happy to have a place for my rabid morbid curiosity. Thanks as always Matt. Yeah man, that's uh yeah, that's awesome. Thanks for sending that and thanks for the notes about vaccinations that people can actually get things that don't have certain preservatives in them. They can find out what ingredients

Starting point is 02:07:45 is in those vaccines, if that will make them feel better about getting vaccinated, and also for the constructive criticism about how to lay out these long and sometimes very long now narratives. I like the anchor point idea. I will work on including that in future sex. Two left, little quick ones. Sweet ass psychedelic Viking mushroom update coming in from space as a Christopher Wallen writes, Hello Dan, the man sucking in the first.

Starting point is 02:08:09 This is your faithful space as a Christopher Wallen. On the Viking suck, you stated that the berserkers would eat mushrooms. But just had to share that this was a emanita muscaria that they would eat. I think I'm saying right. It's the world's oldest fungi or fungi and the same mushroom used in Super Mario. Pink, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank,

Starting point is 02:08:30 tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank,

Starting point is 02:08:38 tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, tank, and genetic properties only through the consumption of their own urine. Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da And then the last shout out from time sucker Nate has to warm even the most chilly of sociopaths meat pumps Nate writes dear master sucker. I introduced my wife to your standup before we were married She immediately fell in love with it. She is an avid listener I will walk by our bathroom and here's snippets of the secret suck when she's getting ready or getting in her car And it's plain as long as our two and a half year old isn't with us We bonded over the standup and the podcast. This is why I was hoping you could give her a shout out for me if possible. Her name is Jordan. And on August 22nd this year will be married four years. So I think I've missed that. What day is it today, Joe? Is it way past the 22nd? Yeah, no, it's one day. It's days of 23rd. So we're going to be way past it by the time

Starting point is 02:09:41 of the time. Okay, so that time is comes out. Okay, so a little bit late, but close. I couldn't think of a better anniversary gift to give her than to hear the master of all the sucks. Say happy anniversary. Thanks for all you do. Keep on sucking. Can't wait to see you in Indianapolis at the end of September, your loyal listener, Nate. Well, congrats, Jordan.

Starting point is 02:09:55 Congrats on the anniversary, you guys. Hail Jordan. Yeah, yeah, the Jordanator. Hello, rascal and fans. Are you ready for tonight? And a first-frematch Make it as way to the cage is Nate Walking tall and rock hard and ready to rumble Joining him tonight's epic fuck fest is the coordinator Let's take it off and get it on

Starting point is 02:10:21 Celebrate that love and make it sweaty groan-y style Get it on! Celebrate that love and make it sweaty, groan-y style! O-O! Hey, Illusufina, CU2 Weirdos Indy. That's all for today's Time Sucker updates. Thanks, Time Suckers. I need a net. We all did.

Starting point is 02:10:40 Thanks for listening to Spread the Suck Meat Sacks. Enjoy your week. Subscribe to Scared to to death the new horror podcast Come see me in San Diego and Hollywood showbiz Don't rob any trains the name of the South the war has been over real long time now And you know what mostly just watch how are you just keep on sucking if you would Oh shit.

Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 154 - The Outlaw Jesse James and the James-Younger Gang

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