Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 177 - The Brothers Grimm

Episode Date: February 3, 2020

The Brothers Grimm! German folklorists Jacob and Wilhem Grimm collected a lot of strange, old, primarily Germanic tales back in the mid-19th century. Tales like Cinderella, Snow White, Hansel and Gretel and so many more. More than 200 stories that inspired countless future authors and artists. Stories that companies like Disney cleaned up and turned into highly profitable family-friendly movies. But the original stories, NOT that family friendly. Not by today's standards. Turns out we meatsacks have enjoyed a dark, violent, and just plain odd story for a lot longer than Timesuck has been around. Enjoy! Check out Lynze and I's new horror podcast Scared to Death. Listen on Spotify, Stitcher, iTunes, Youtube, and more! Here's the iTunes link: https://apple.co/2MRMgai We're donating $4,200 to the Equal Justice Initiative Dedicated to freeing wrongfully incarcerated inmates. To find out more, go to https://eji.org/2020 Toxic Thoughts Tour Standup dates: http://dancummins.tvBrooklyn, NY Feb 8 The Bell House CLICK HERE for tix! Washington DC Feb 9 The Improv CLICK HERE for tix! Huntington Beach Feb 14-16 The Rec Room CLICK HERE for tix! St Louis Feb 20-22 Helium CLICK HERE for tix! Salt Lake City Feb 28-29 Wiseguy's CLICK HERE for tix! Nashville March 12-14 Zanies CLICK HERE for tix! Huntsville, AL March 15 Stand Up Live CLICK HERE for tix! Philadelphia March 26-28 Punchline CLICK HERE for tix! Listen to the best of my standup on Spotify! (for free!) https://spoti.fi/2Dyy41d Watch the Suck on YouTube: https://youtu.be/DD5T6387d0M Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Want to try out Discord!?! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions: https://badmagicmerch.com/pages/contact Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast Wanna become a Space Lizard? We're over 7000 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.

Stories, the brothers' grim were masters at collecting stories. And how important is that? Very. We define our lives through stories. We're living stories. We're each the star of our own movie, our own novel. We're all the protagonists, all in some sort of heroes' journey. The cultures we live in provide the backdrop for our tales,

our friends, enemies, families, neighbors, co-workers, and fellow citizens, fill out the supporting castes. The musicians of our culture provide us with our own soundtracks, eat to them, tell in their own stories. We love stories because when we read them or watch them or listen to them, we're always hearing or watching or reading a little bit or a lot about ourselves. Why do we cry at the movies? Or when we read a book or listen to a podcast? Because we can relate. We personalize the information we're consuming when someone loses a child, we we hurt unless we're cognitively incapable of doing so like some of the sociopaths and psychopaths we've covered here. And we hurt at least in part or in large part because we imagine

what we like to lose our own child or what it might feel like to do so if we don't have a child. I watched that news course says you movie The Irishman with my wife Lindsay and our kids Kylerman wrote recently and And after watching him and Rogat, very emotional. Why? I'll try and tell you without spoiling the film. One of the dark lessons of the movie is that if you live long enough, there's a good chance that you will end up spending your final days,

especially alone. All your friends and peers will have already passed. No one will be there to talk about all the fun old times used to have together. All the people who defined your life, they'll be gone. There will be no one left to relive the good old days with. It's frankly incredibly sad to think about. I remember my great-grandmother reaching that age.

She was in her 90s and one day she told me she just didn't want to go on anymore. Not in some morbid way, just a matter of factly. She said she didn't understand why she was still here. I'll never forget it. She said her husband was long dead. All of her siblings were dead. All of her cousins forget it. She said her husband was long dead. All of her siblings were dead. All of her cousins were dead. All of her old friends were dead.

She'd outlived them all. And she was despite living with her daughter and son-in-law. And being surrounded by grandkids and great-grandkids who all adored her, she was in so many ways so very alone. She still remembered traveling as a young girl and a covered wagon back in Minnesota. She remembered her parents telling her stories about their lives back in Norway. And who did she have to call and talk about all of that

now? No one. Seeing this type of loneliness dealt with in the Irishman, Mademan Rowe think about her own life. She thought about how as the youngest child, all the people she really loves are older than her. And she was sobbing, thinking about how possibly one day she'd be alive in a world without her grandparents, without her dogs, Penny and Ginger, who she loves so much, a world without me, or Lindsay, or her mom, and stepdad, a world without her brother, the person who has always spent the most time with her. Scorsese's story really hit her heart. His story really, really made her think about her own life. It moved her in a powerful way, sad but also beautiful. That's what a good story can do. Even when a story features talking animals

or outlandish situations or sorcery or other impossibilities, it can still powerfully connect with us. We can still relate to it, you know, with the underlying human experience. That talking badger or bear or frog isn't really some random animal. It's us.

We are waiting to be kissed and turned into that prince. We are waiting for life to cut us a huge break. Give us a big helping hand. Lift us up to our rightful position. Is that prince? Of course. We are the prince or the princess. Of course. The slipper will fit us. It says, this is our fucking story. We're the hero. Again, we define our lives of stories. This is why we appreciate storytellers so much. Stephen King isn't some random dude. Living in Maine who scribbles a few scary words on a page. He's not just that. He's someone who helps define the time we live in

by giving us stories to share with one another. We see ourselves in his stories. Imagine how scared we would be in those situations. We are his characters. We worry about seeing a red balloon floating by some storm drain and hearing an creepy laugh. Someone talking about how we all float down here. We have Stephen's stories to share with another.

One another, talk about how scared or not scared they made his feel. And this all helps us relate to our fellow meat sex. It binds different people with different personalities, perspectives, and backgrounds to a shared experience. We have something new to talk about and to share. Some of my favorite conversations with my wife are about a show we're both watching or a book we both read.

Think about how many people, JK Rowling's Harry Potter stories help bring together. How fun was it to watch Harry and his friends grow up? Many of you grew up with Harry and his friends. Those stories help define your childhoods. It was as if you went to Hogwarts. Arguably the best stories do more than just entertain us and give us something to talk about with others who've heard the same story. The best stories also enlighten us. They teach us something. They teach us to love or to

forgive or to be just, to strive to be better than we are. The best stories reflect the world we live in back to us and remind us of both the good and the evil around us while teaching us some moral lesson or lessons. Think about Tolkien's Lord of the Rings. J.R.R. Tolkien built a world that on the surface looks so different than the one we live in. A world of monsters, elves, dragons, wizards, and powerfully good and evil supernatural forces. But if you look deeper, you see our own world in Tolkien's. forces. But if you look deeper, you see our own world in tokens. You see a world of suffering and strife, a world of good souls doing their best to ease the suffering of others and make things better. A world of some evil souls, more than happy to sacrifice the desires and hopes

and lives of others to feed their own greedy, power, hungry and selfish desires, we reflect on what it means to be human and about what kind of human we want to be in stories like these. Reading the Lord of the Rings reminds me of how dangerous an exception, an obsession, excuse me, can be. How dangerous ambition can be. You want the one ring to rule them all? Why? Why do you need so much power?

What are you willing to sacrifice to get it? And when it's all said and done, if you do get it, will it have all been worth it? Will you finally be happy? You may get something different entirely out of that saga. That's another great thing a story does, and gives us room to personalize it for ourselves. Perhaps the very core of our humanity is the appreciation of good stories and good storytellers. The modern world is obsessed with legends, myths, folklore, fairy tales, fables and ballads, and so where are ancient ancestors.

It's perhaps hardwired and our DNA to communicate our ideas about the world to analogies allegories metaphors and tropes We've been telling stories since long before the written word or the printing press why were early humans Drawing on the walls of caves. They were telling the stories the stories of their people as Important as storytellers are now they may have been even more important in ancient ancient times before the written word orators were the main purveyors of the universal custom of storytelling. The oral tradition was the vehicle for passing knowledge along to future generations and the person who could carry on the sagas of the previous generation was an extremely valued member of society. They were ones given their cultural, you know,

their cultural continuity from one generation to the next. They were the given their cultural, you know, their culture continuity from one generation to the next. They were the ones doing the most to make the sense or make sense of the madness of why we're here. In many cases, early stories were humanities, first attempts at philosophy, science and religion. And those old stories tell us so much about ancient people, just like modern stories tell us a lot about our own culture.

What does a culture value? What do they fear? Listen to their stories and you'll find out. And also, we can learn more about our modern culture by the old stories from the cultures before us. The legends and tales told by people of yesterday around the world have shaped our languages, our politics, our moral beliefs, our very perceptions of reality. We stand as they say on the shoulders of giants. Our cultures are built on the cultures of those no longer with us.

And two really big giants when it comes to storytelling are the brothers Grimm. They lived over 200 years ago and their collections of old tales, folklore, and legends have been published so many times that some claim only the Bible and Shakespeare have been published more. The brothers Grimm dedicated their lives to collecting old stories and Man, did they collect some strange ones? These old oftentimes insane stories still influence the way we see the world. So let's dig into them I'm very excited that you can tell to share this topic with you and today suck We're gonna burrow into the life and works of Jacob and Wilhelm Grimm and explore the lasting and powerful impact these two men have had on humanity

Without you know the tales they collected without them you know many of these tales would have been likely lost a history We'll learn about the intensive collecting of German mythos the worldwide fame. They they achieved They're closely knit brotherly relationship and we'll go all go we'll go all over or over Excuse me all sorts of the gruesome and twisted stories they discovered, edited and published in today's, maybe this is why so many of us enjoy such a dark and twisted tale edition of Time Suck. to talk something. Happy, happy Monday, Meet's X. How are you doing after last week? It's a rough one, right? Oh, we've had a lot of interesting updates come in about that one for sure about Duncan. And we'll share some kind of special updates here soon in the coming weeks.

Today's tale also dark but also historical and also silly thank god and it leaves a much better taste in your mouth. Um Dan comments the suck sage new world order lizard wizard the suck master who has a little more tin foil on his hat than he did before the declassified military suck a few weeks back and you you sweet fucking meat sack you beautiful bastard You are listening to time suck Climb to climb on down into the suck dungeon join the cult to the curious watch your head when you head down the stairs Hail Nimrod Hail Luciferina praise both jangles glory be to triple in Please Luciferina get my wife to ease up on all the crystal talk. What is happening? Over on our scared to death podcast. I think I may have broken her What is happening over on our scared to death podcast? I think I may have broken her.

Definitely had fun in Sacramento the other weekend. Holy shit, Sacramento turned up. What a great way to kick off the new year of touring with the toxic thoughts tour. Recorded this episode in advance of Vegas. Hopefully I've had just as good of a time there by the time you hear this. The toxic thoughts tour heads to Brooklyn

and Washington DC this weekend. The bellhouse and Brooklyn on Saturday. One show only, so get those tickets. We hear this. The toxic thoughts to our heads to Brooklyn and Washington DC this weekend. The bellhouse and Brooklyn on Saturday. One show only, so get those tickets. Washington DC at the improv on Sunday. The first show we sold out, so we added a second show. So you can get tickets to that one if you missed out on the first show. Thank you and fuck the Oscars, right?

You can record them. You can read about it later. Head to the improv. The rec room at Huntington Beach for Valentine's Day weekend, at least one show is sold out on that one. Thank you. Then it's off to St. Louis and Salt Lake City. Some shows have sold out there as well.

What a fun start to the tour. Then it's off to Nashville, Philly and Honolulu, Hawaii. So many more places. All the tour dates up at Dancomans.tv. Give a more mind this month, give $4,200 this month to the Equal Justice Initiative. Learn about this, watch the Jamie Foxx and Michael B. Jordan movie, Just Mercy. So good. The Equal Justice Initiative is dedicated primarily to ending wrongful incarceration, to

getting people who are actually innocents out of prison and especially off of death row. It's a 501c3 non3 nonprofit organization that provides legal representation to people who have been illegally convicted, unfairly sentenced, or abused in state jails and prisons. Full disclosure, there are a little more anti-death penalty than I am, but maybe that's because they're smarter than me. And they're not looking to get some pieces shit, like last week's worthless fuck of a human Joseph Duncan out of prison. They're focused on getting truly innocent people out of places where they're stuck,

having to have lunch with the live and turd like Duncan. And I got to respect that. So hail, Nimrod. It's egei.org. If you want to find out more, link in the episode description. Speaking of dirt bags, they are morbidly fascinating. And they're always the most downloaded episodes of Time Sucks. We have a new, pretty dark line of tees coming out today.

In the beginning of a serial killer yearbook series We have a new, pretty dark line to tease coming out today. The beginning of a serial killer yearbook series, Ed Kemper, Richard Ramirez, John Wayne Gasey, or out today, class of hell, piece of shit, hall of fame. Some interesting shirts, acknowledging a fast nation and true crime will simultaneously not glorifying

some of the worst humans who have ever lived. I wouldn't want my face on this series. Ed Kemper voted least likely to work for PETA, Richard Ramirez voted least likely to help anyone ever John Gacy voted worst birthday clown ever. So if you just can't kick that true crime habit and you don't need to, right? We've talked long ago about how psychologically healthy to be interested in this stuff. These shirts are your dark, you know, are up your dark alley. That's what I wanted to say. And that is not a butthole reference, or an anal sex euphemism, but it should be.

So get it. So, these are right up your dark alley, you guys. Come on. Also, stick around after I'm done with the topic for the thank you section, where I relay some important information regarding the Colt the Curious Facebook group, and also about our Discord channel.

So many cool people, help and take care of our special community online. I gotta thank everyone, help and take care of our special community online. Gotta thank everyone to keep it special and mention a little changing of the guard. Okay, now let's get to some dark, silly stuff. Now a real dark like last week, cartoon dark, and weird, and goofy, and I love it. Yeah, yeah, yeah!

[♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ The Brothers Grim established a methodology for collecting and recording legend stories and songs that became the basis for folklore studies. Others had put folklore onto the written page before these two, but none had done it so thoroughly with such academic rigor and passion. These two changed the game and saved folklore from being forgotten. Between the first edition that was published on December 20th, 1812 titled, Children's and Household Tales,

and their seventh and final edition, 1857, titled Grimm's Fairy Tales, they revised their collection many times and it grew from 156 stories to 210. They would also record hundreds of German legends and contribute a massive amount to the German language itself. The Grimmbrows have fast-knit and frightened generations of children in more than 150 languages.

They've inspired countless authors, artists, composers, and filmmakers. They've also been criticized for telling a lot of stories that are, well, pretty fucked up. It turns out a lot of my dark sense of humor and morbid fascination with sorted tales of sex and violence may have been influenced and shaped by a lot of these messed up stories that I heard as a kid. And from watching her here and her reading, other stories heavily influenced by the dark and well, grim tales of the grim brothers. The word grim by the way, which can mean unrelentingly harsh or severe or depressing or worrying

to consider does not come from the grim brothers last name, just a funny coincidence, although they would have such a perfectly suited name for the stories they would collect. These dudes covered many grim tail. And we're going to go over a bunch of them, then I'll step into a timeline, covering their lives, and after the timeline, I'll recite a few of their shorter tails in full and have some fun analyzing their insanity. As we'll learn the brother's grim, we're not bashful with gruesome depictions of violence and taboo or depraved sexual yearnings or encounters. Take the story titled the children who played butchered with each other, also known as how some children played at slaughtering.

Also translated as how children played slaughtering together. What a great children's tale. What a great bedtime story. Right. The children who slaughter each other. Being bad in the next two minutes, kids, we're going to finish the children who slaughter each other. Being bad in the next two minutes, kids, we're gonna finish the children who slaughter each other tonight. And if you don't interrupt me by crying all the time

and begging me to stop and wind it about nightmares, we might have time to finally get to a new story like the kids who got burnt up by an angry dragon or maybe the elf demon who rips out kids' eyes and then drags them into hell and then lets them walk blind through Satan's fiery pits. Come on, get the bed. Your kids want some music tonight too? I really feel like it helps make the stories better.

Hey, Uncle Anton, if you could, would you mind firing up that clipey? Ha ha ha ha, thank you guys. No need to come to the circus. Man cotton candy you're bring the circus to you and it's a bad circus put a lot of sharp and hurtful creatures and create this to remind you to be extra good if you don't want their devil to get you well those cover tied we'll talk more about the children who played butchered with each other in just a few moments and I never get tired of listening to that song by the way.

It makes me so happy just to hit that button. The influence of these occasionally very dark tales shows up in our modern world and some surprisingly seemingly light places like in Disney stories. The Disney Corporation, a company valued more than $130 billion dollars owes great deal to the two German professors and folklorists Jacob and Philhelm. They may have never grown into the media and cultural influencing giants they aren't today Billion dollars owes great deal to the two German professors and folklorists Jacob and Bill him. They may have never grown into the media and cultural influencing giant. They aren't today, if not for the early success of retelling some of the tales, the

Grimm's collected and published. Cinderella, sleeping beauty, snow white, and more all based on brothers, Grimm stories. I bet you're also familiar with a lot of other Grimm characters and stories covered by Disney and one way or another. And sometimes by other companies, stuff like Tom Thumb, Pussin Boots, The Frog King, Haunsel and Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, The Pied Piper, and more. Pretty impressive, all still household names. Disney isn't the only company that owes the grim boys a debt of gratitude.

Other major franchises like Harry Potter, Shrek, even Barbie and the Muppets have based at least some of their storylines around the Grims mythological narratives. Funny how many light, fluffy modern kids tales are based on old Grims stories considering the original stories weren't that family-friendly by modern standards. Initially, the Grims never intended these stories to be told to an audience of children, even though many of them were told to children originally in ancient times. The project of collecting these myths started off as a part of a scholarly project to identify and preserve the true spirit of the Germanic people. The original primarily German stories that were collected were loaded with cannibalism, mutilation, murder, suicide, incest, child abuse, and grizzly vengeance, laden, happy endings.

Good old medieval children stories, dark, dark ages, shit. endings. Good old medieval children stories, dark, dark ages shit. The originals had a little more sex in them. While most of the violence of the originals actually made its way to the present, a lot of sex stuff got stripped away. In the original Frog King, as soon as said Frog King, turns into a handsome prince after being thrown against the wall, not kissed, the princess wicks him off to bed for sexy time. And when I'm waiting for marriage, they were horny and DTF. And later versions of the Grimz were encouraged to make this story more proper. And eventually at her father's bidding,

the prince becomes the girl's dear companion and husband. Times had changed. Humans were civilized now, time to repress sexuality and shelter the children. Let them hear the bloody tales of course. A lot of that stuff can stay, but don't let them know that grownups have sex sometimes, might crop their minds. Restrain species with strange priorities sometimes. The original red-riding hood had sex all over it, at least according to some, the tale

was originally intended as a warning story, but Sigmund Freud interpreted it as showing red-riding hood losing her virginity. Of course he did. Plus, the time the story was written, it was said that a girl who had sex had, quote, seen the wolf. Luciferina loves a wolf. I want to show Lindsay my wolf. I mean, she's seen it. I want to show it to her again.

I just ask her if she wants to make my wolf howl later today. She's out of nowhere, see what she says. I'm guessing that wouldn't work very well as a pickup line. Hey there, sexy lady. You ever seen a wolf up close? I'll show you mine. If you're not scared of big hairy wolves

or maybe medium, small to medium sized wolves, because you know I have one. I'll let you pet it. I had it long enough to make it howl. Oh, come on, where you going? Good thing, JK. God, never works. That's pretty creepy.

Don't try that if you're helping for anything positive. Some of the originals had sexually violent moments, particularly horrific incidents that incurs in the grim story of the robber bridegroom. When some bandists drag a maiden into their underground hideout, forced her to drink wine until her heart burst, rip off her clothes and hack her into pieces. Goose made is another particularly rough one. In an early version of the Goose made also known as the Goose Girl, a false bride is stripped naked, thrown into a barrel filled with nails and dragged to the streets. They loved little nudity, makes with some blood.

A lot of darkness in the original versions. Things got darkest fucking the Juniper tree, and this story a woman decapitates her stepson as he bends down to get an apple after beating the shit out of him on a regular basis for years. She then rests the boy's head back on his neck, tricks her daughter into thinking that she knocked his head off, and she chops up his body, cooks him into a blood soup, which is a thing, and she serves the soup to her husband, the boy's father,

who enjoys the meal so much he asks for seconds. And then later, the eaten son turns into a bird somehow, and this bird then drops a rock from the sky and it smashes the stepmom's head in, and then he turns back into a boy, and he and his sister and his dad live happily ever after, and the stepmom is you know stays dead What the fuck I'm not sure with the moral the story is maybe it's um

Don't be and kill and feed your stepkids to their dad because if you do they might come back from the dead as a bird that kills you That can't be it has to has to symbolize something The reason the stepmom kills her stepson is it so the daughter she shares with the boy's father will one day get her the dad's inheritance and not her brother. So maybe the lesson here is don't be evil and greedy because you can get you killed. Yeah, that sounds better. Academics say the original author, author of this story, didn't fuse it with some Christian themes and lessons such as basically any parent who helps their children sin is worthy of death.

Some interpret the stepmom as representing the devil and tricking her stepmom or tricking her step's son with the promise of an apple just like the devil tricked Eve. When he found out that the story and others were cleaned up and later versions, J.R.R. Tolkien was pissed. He cited the Juniper Tree as an example of the evils of censorship for children. Many versions in his day omitted some of the darker elements

and Tolkien thought that children should not be spared these elements, unless they were spared the whole fairy tale. So, you know, tell the story as it was or don't tell it at all. Man Tolkien fighting against censorship in the mid 20th century let the children hear the truth, hail Nimrod. Most of the original stories were darker than they'd been later editions. In Snow White, the Huntsman of the story, is originally told to remove and deliver Snow White's

lungs and liver to the evil queen. I don't remember that scene in the Disney version. And a story called The Girl Without Hands, a girl literally has her hands chopped off by her own father. And the original, the dad who cut the poor girl's hands off, was also raping her. Early readers didn't love hearing about their kids, reading about all this, so the grim boys quickly recast the dad as the devil, smoothed out some of the rougher parts.

The story by the way goes all the way back to the eight century. CE, different versions of it were told across Europe for many years. In various translations, the heroine has her hands cut off and is cast from her family home, because A, she will not marry her father, or B, because her father has sold her to the devil or C, because her sister-in-law has slandered her to her brother. In most versions, she magically gets her hands back when a king finds her in the woods,

eating some pears, which could not have been fun to do without hands back then. It's not like the dark ages were known for kick-ass prosthetics. And then the king marries her despite her not having hands. So what's the moral here? Okay, you know, that's up for interpretation. I'm thinking it's that you shouldn't worry about physical deformities keeping you from finding love because somewhere out there there is a king waiting for you who doesn't really care about you not having hands because he hates hands jobs and it doesn't like women

chewing their fingernails and playing patty cake and you're his ideal woman. I think, I think it's open for interpretation. Maybe something in the ballpark that I might have slightly misinterpreted part of it. And the most common telling of this tale, the dad gets tricked by the devil and the cut in his daughter's hands off. The king who meets her gives her silver hands

and eventually she gets real hands given to her by God, partly because she never stops being pious and God loving. And one of the messages is that God is good and rewards those who are also good. Okay? Also, another message is maybe to be to watch out for the devil because that Wiley, pitchfoke, wheeled motherfucker might just trick you and to cut your daughter's hands off. That's probably another important lesson. I joke around, but the stories like these do speak to how afraid of the devil people used to be.

It speaks to how shitty it used to be to be a woman back when your dad could cut your hands off and a misguided attempt to protect you from the devil. These original stories, they really didn't come across as a super kid friendly, do they? But they were intended for children. Back in the old days, the world was a much bloodier and more dangerous place than it is now. Kids were seeing relatives and friends die of illnesses all the time. There were constant wars, bloody skirmishes,

lots of capital punishment, public executions and witch burnings. It was a darker world and the little ones were told darker tales trying to keep them alive. Or to keep them in line, or to keep them listening to their parents, keep them afraid of God, maybe also sometimes medieval grownups.

I don't know, this thought was was funny to terrify little shits. A Hansel and Gretel, that wasn't is a crazy tale. Think about this story, a bedtime story featuring a witch keeping Hansel and a cage, fattening him up so that she could eat him. Just a little fucked up. Don't wander too far off into the forest, children. Don't trust strangers, they might eat you. Which actually maybe isn't a bad story to tell kids.

I mean, if telling kids that they're witches in the woods will, you know, who will fatten them up and then eat them, you know, keeps them close to the campground and prevents them from wandering off and dying of exposure or something, you know, I guess I'm all for it. One of the gory moments from the grim stories comes from Cinderella of all places. In the original version, there's a scene

where the ugly step-sisters slice off their toes to force their feet into the glass slipper. They only get outed for their dishonesty when the prince sees blood gushing out of their shoes. I'm surprised no one noticed him badly limping and constantly screaming stuff like, my toes! Holy fuck that hurts! Oh my god, why not come and fuck that damn toes out!

There's a lot of murder. A lot of suicide in the old folklore that Grims gathered as well. Fuck that hurts! Oh my God, why not come and fuck you goddamn toes out! There's a lot of murder. A lot of suicide in the old folklore, the Grims gather as well. I mentioned the story that children who played Butcher with each other, all snowed as children played at Slottering. The children's edit of this tale included a fun game where one kid plays a pig and the other kid plays a Butcher. The Butcher slits the pig's throat while another kid catches his blood and a bull. This fucking story fucking so crazy. Check out how this crazy story begins.

This is in the, you know, the Grim Brothers. This is how they published it. In a city named Frannecker, located in West Friesland, some young boys and girls between the ages of five and six happened to be playing with one another. They chose one boy to play a butcher. Another boy to play was to be a cook. And a third boy was to be playing with one another. They chose one boy to play a butcher, another boy to play was to be a cook, and a third boy was to be a pig. Then they chose one girl to be a cook

and another girl her assistant. The assistant was to catch the blood of the pig in a little bowl so they could make sausages. As agreed, the butcher now fell upon the little boy playing the pig, threw him to the ground and slid his throat open with a knife. While the assistant cook caught the blood in her little bowl, uh, uh, what? So many problems to the story if I'm the key listen to it.

First off, who are these psychotic kids? Sounds like all of them should be locked up in a dungeon or something for the safety of the overall community. What kind of kids agree to play a game where the game begins with one of the kids having their throat slit? And how does that kid not at least try to play a game where the game begins with one of the kids having their throat slit? And how does that kid not at least try to get out of being the pig? You know and Danny you're gonna be the pig today. No No, no absolutely not. I had to play the mayor last time we played a game of fucked out horse and my butt is still sore

No way I'm gonna be the pig today. Come on guys. let me be the butcher. I'll be the pick next time. I don't know, maybe we can just play games like Old Maid or Marbles or something. And then the story continues with, a councilman was walking nearby and saw this wretched act. He immediately took the butcher with him and led him into the house of the mayor who instantly summoned the entire council.

They deliberated about this incident and did not know what they should do to the boy. For they realized it had all been part of a children's game. What? They didn't know what to do because it was just a kid's game. Who's running this back to crazy town? These kids just murdered their friend and tried to fucking eat him. I don't think it's good to just write that off as, I just kid's being kids.

You know, they're just playing games. This version ends with a quote, wise old man suggesting that they offer the boy who slit the other boy's throat, the choice of either a red apple or a renish gilder, golden coin, to have. And if he picked the red apple, he got to go free and just live his little life, as if he hadn't just butchered a playmate. And if he picked the coin, the council would immediately have him executed. What the fuck?

This is the wise man coming up with this plan. To decide whether this kid lives or dies, basically on a coin toss. How is this wise? What was the dumb guy gonna do? Just fart, whatever kid smelled it, was we're fucking killed on the spot or something? How dumb are these people?

This version ends with the kid picking the apple, laughing like a psychopath, then scampering off and living happily ever after. In an alternate, even more insane version of this tale, the mother of the boy who played the pig freaks out, stabs the boy who played the butcher to death, then hangs herself, and then when her husband comes home from work and finds his son and wife dead, he also dies. He dies of literal sadness, the end.

Good night, buddy. Have fun laying in bed, thinking about a friend sitting your throat, then your mom, killing herself, and then me losing my will to live. Love you. Thanks for just this brutal in the tale of Rumble Stiltskin. In this case, the Grim Brothers actually amped up

as a violence in later editions. Just less sex, more violence. What a weird message we've been preaching for so long. Rumble Still Skin, an old bit of folklore. Researchers think this tale has been told in some version for over 4,000 years. I forgot how crazy this story is. In some early versions, Rumble Still Skin escapes on a flying ladle, or even just runs off when he gets bested in his deal with the queen.

This happens in the Grimm's first edition. In the 1847 edition, however, he screams when he's been bested. And in his rage, he stamps his right foot so hard that it went to the ground right up to his waist. Then in his fury, he sees his left foot with both hands and tore himself in two. Fun. Dude literally rips himself in half to end the story. Can I get some fun dreams tonight? Let me lay a little summary of the madness of this tale. So it starts, you know, it says a Miller, which is a dude who used to make flour out of grain, a Miller hoped to bring himself and his daughter

out of poverty. So he tells the king that his daughter can spend straw into gold. Okay, right there, the king should have immediately told this guy to fuck off. I mean, if his daughter could spin straw into gold, why is he having money problems? Why is he poor?

Come on! Come on, king! You should have just asked to see the pounds and pounds and pounds of gold she's been making. But I guess I would have killed this story. So then it says, The next day the Miller's daughter was placed in a room full of straw to test her abilities.

The girl begins to cry because of course, she cannot actually turn straw into gold. Suddenly, a little goblin-like creature appears in the room and decides to make a bargain with the woman. A little monster shows up. Not as an old man as he's often depicted in more modern tellings. And this creepy little creature tells the girl he wants his necklace in exchange for all the straw in the room to be turned to gold. Weird. I feel like he's not a very good bargainganer, Rumpel Sill's kid. I mean, there's no mention of the necklace being that cool. Like he's given her a room, like a room full of gold,

in exchange for a super shitty peasant necklace. So many of the characters in these old tales are just idiots. The king is astonished that the girl could do what her father claimed as she could do when he decides to send her into an even bigger room of straw to test her again. Okay, how is turning an entire room of straw to gold not a good enough demonstration of her abilities?

What was it just people doing the show at time? And how is it not having anybody watch her do this? If someone told me they could weave straw into gold, I would like to think I would stick around to watch them pull off the best fucking trick of all time. I mean, what other business does he have to attend to that he doesn't have time to watch gold being made out of straw? And and get this girl some bodyguards. She seems to have the most valuable skill anyone has ever had.

Nope. Just leaves her alone in another straw-filled room and then heads out, I don't know, to non-agent turkey leg or oversee some torture in the dungeon or something. No, I slowed Bantington. We like to say you can born the rack with the lead sprinkler and the Iron Maiden. You're a true innovator, you are. If you try the turkey, I'm sure I have a chunk hard in somewhere in my bed if you'd

like a taste. The girl against be she begins to cry. Creature appears again to cut another deal with her. The creature now wants to ring she's wearing in exchange for turning the entire room of strong to gold and she agrees to this deal. Again, Rumpelstiltskin is the shittiest bargainer ever. Ring, one ring for a giant room of gold. I wish I knew Rumpelstiltskin.

I would love to make some deals with the son of a bitch. Now, maybe trade him a $10 pair of sunglasses for a fully loaded 2020 murdered out Ford Raptor or something. The King returns all the straws again turned to gold. The King decides to test her one more time with even more straw. Then the last time a determinator should become the new queen. Fucking dude, she just turned two rooms of straws to gold. How much do you want from this lady? And you're still not protecting her?

Are you fucking inbred royal idiot? The girl begins to cry once more, the creature returns to cut her another deal. The final deal was that if the creature spins this last batch of straw into gold, then the creature would get the girl's first born child when she married the king. The girl ultimately agrees to the creature's request, and now Rumpelstiltskin spins the last batch of straw into gold and the girl becomes a queen. One year later the queen's baby is born and the creature returns to claim his part of the deal. The queen refuses to give up her baby and the creature just makes her a new deal because again, he is the worst negotiator ever. I

Loved that they make this crazy deal and when he comes to collect she just says no and he's like, ah Okay, all right, all right, dammit. I'm playing for this. This is awkward, I kinda just figured you'd give me the baby. Also, what does he want a baby for? He's not gonna take care of it, it's probably just gonna lose it, trade it for a candy bar or something.

Rumble Steels can make the queen a new deal, where if she can correctly guess his name to the next three days, she could keep her baby, because fucking, I don't know, why not? The first two days the queen cannot guess the creature's name because he has a super dumb name known as ever heard of before. The last night before the last day one of the queens messengers sees the creature dancing around some fire shouting his own name like an asshole.

He actually sings tonight, tonight my plans I make tomorrow, tomorrow the baby I take the queen will never win the game for Rumpel still skin is my name Dad, what are you fucking doing? The only thing you have to do is shut the fuck up. That's it. Don't tell anybody your name That's all you have to do for three days. Just don't talk about your name This name is literally the only thing the grandma's not supposed to talk about and then he's just shouting like an asshole Dance around the fire like a crazy moron The messenger returns to the castle to tell the queen

Then on the final day the creature appears and the queen starts guessing names and eventually guesses out his name, which is, you know, Rumpel Silliskin, which I think she should have fled with. Every single character stored as the mental prowess of a house lie, the creature was full of anger, started to kick his right foot into the ground, eventually got stuck, and then Rumpel Silliskin tried to use his left foot as we talked about, you know, and in the process, he gets torn a half, causing him to disappear in the story ends. Man, you know, this story feels like it was written 4,000 years ago. It's terrible.

What is the moral of this tale? I think it's always make deals with incredibly stupid monsters who can turn straw into gold because you can also be stupid and will still become very wealthy and never suffer any negative consequences. Online study guides disagree with my analysis. A few of them say one of the lessons that tells you should never brag about things that aren't true. But is that accurate?

I mean, she gets away with it. The Miller's plan worked. You know, all the liars, none of them suffer any consequences. No one loses in this story other than the monster. Another supposed lesson is that being greedy has a high price. That's not true either, isn't. Because the queen, you know, she got to, you know, keep the baby, she got to become queen. She doesn't have to fucking pay any price. No one suffers any consequences.

Another website says the moral of Rumble Stills can is to tell the truth and take responsibility for your own mistakes. Bullshit! The lies are only rewarded in this story and they're rewarded immensely. I feel like reading people trying to pull moral lessons out of some of these stories, it reminds me of when people try and interpret very important themes or insights or symbolism at a some blatantly shitty piece of modern art. Hmm. Oh, and I feel like this crack symbolizes the beginning of the fall of the patriarchy that is dominated and subjugated women for far too long and that the crack opening

It's like opening the world up to a new age of true quality where traditional strengths will be antiquated and no longer hold value and sensitivity and empathy will you know finally reign supreme It's just it's beautiful. It's really wonderful. Huh. Huh. That's interesting. I see a giant stupid red square with a fucking crack in it. How long did it take this dipshit to make this? An hour? I could do this. This is dumbest fucking scopes I've ever looked at. I think the real lesson to be learned from Rumble Stillskin is that 4,000 years ago people weren't very good at telling stories yet. Internal figures don't seem to fare well in much of the Germanic folklore. A lot of mommy issues back then. And the story, the six swans and evil mother-in-law is burned to the stake after a different woman

is almost burned to the stake. A lot of evil women in these stories. A lot of incest too. And especially crazy story called All Kinds of Fur. A man promises his dying wife that he will only remarry if his new bride is just as beautiful as her. And who ends up being that beautiful, their daughter. Yeap.

When the girl realizes her dad wants to fuck her, she runs far away from her kingdom, ends up falling asleep in a great forest where a different young king finds her. She asks him to take pity on her. He puts her to work in his kitchen. And because she won't reveal her name, they somehow come up with a super weird sounding nickname

of all kinds of fur. And actually, that nickname comes from a mantle she wore, this magical mantle made from the fur of every kind of bird and animal in the kingdom. This one ends happily ever after the King Mary's her, not the dad king, the other king who did not raise her. Thank God. Some theorized that this story was actually told at least partially to remind dads that it was not okay to fuck your daughter like seriously. Back in olden times, especially out in the German backcountry, incest was apparently rampant.

Like some dude may have actually written this story to help cut down on all of the daughter fucking. Yet another reminder of how much better the present is in the past, we have better medicine, we have air conditioning, and we have, I hope, a lot less daughter fucking. We're making progress. Disney has yet to adapt this one and do a kids cartoon.

I love to see them take a crack at it. Coming this summer to theaters nationwide, all kinds of fur. A rich and powerful king asked for a young beautiful girl's handed marriage. Every girl's dream right wrong. This fairy tale comes with a creepy twist. The King is also her father.

From Disney Pictures, the story of the young princess and a horny, rapy dad king. Bring out the whole family to sit and awkward, uncomfortable silence for all kinds of fur, where no fur is off limits for one man, not even the fur growing above his daughters. You get it! You get it! I didn't have to end that sense his daughters, you get it. You get it. I didn't have to end that sense with vagina, because I knew you would get it. Let's move it along. Another common theme in the Grim Brothers Tales is a lot of child abuse, not just incest kind, which is definitely abuse. Snow White, again, just seven years old, an original tale, you know, as I said earlier, when the Huntsman takes Child of the Woods,

with orders to murder her and take back some of her organs, the title character in Frou Trude turned the disobedient girl into a block of wood and then tossed her into the fire yikes. In the stubborn child, also known as the willful child, a little girl dies after God decides to let her become sick. And why did God let this child become sick? Because his kid was willful and she didn't listen

to her mommy. Is a kid being killed by God for being disobedient, not dark enough for you? Don't worry, it gets worse. After the kid dies and is buried, she comes back to life and tries to crawl out of her own grave. She gets one arm out of the ground and then some people is cemetery instead of,

I don't know, pulling her out of the fucking ground and helping her, they push her arm back down and they throw some more dirt on her. And she starts to crawl out again, she gets one arm out again, they push it back down again, throw more dirt on her. Huh! Finally, this story is so ridiculous.

Finally, they get it, and this is not the craziest story we're gonna tell the day by far. And finally, they get a hold of her mom. Her mom comes to the cemetery and hits this stubborn, willful girl who won't stay dead in the arm with the rod. And then finally the kids stays dead. And then the mom is happy to be rid of such a willful stubborn child who's

even so stubborn she won't say dead. My God, no wonder history has been so bloody. What a terrible lesson. Listen to your mom or God will kill you and then your mom will be glad to your dead. Also, interestingly, in the first edition of the Grim Brothers big book of folklore, the girl gets sick with no mention of God.

God was added to later editions, which I can only imagine reflected the will of the Lutherans and Catholics who composed the majority of the German populists in the early 19th century. Right, not enough for her to die. Make sure kids know her death was God's will. If they don't listen to their parents, not even God can save these willful kids.

Having one of these stories, a grow darker from one addition to the next was pretty rare. In general, they got lightened up. In general, from the folklore, legends, they grew more tame and conservative. If you're wondering why were any of the stories changed at all? Good question. I've kind of talked about it a little bit, but not in detail. The Grims obviously did not write any of these tales. They were academics whose goal was to preserve ancient stories. So if it seems weird that these stories would be altered in any

way, that's because it, you know, it was weird. In a perfect world where money and political and social pressure didn't matter, they would have never altered any of the stories, but we don't live in that world. The Grim brothers originally envisioned their collection, even though it was titled Children's Household Tales, to be for adult conception. It was originally marketed as an academic anthology, the work of scholars compiled by and for serious adults. But then the books started to be purchased by the common folk. They sold far more copies than the Grim's ever anticipated. Great for the brothers because respect from their peers didn't pay the bills, you know, sales did. But bad for the book. Parents started buying these books for their kids and then they found

some of the stories. You can imagine a bit dark. So now there was criticism, a call to clean up some of the stories and the churches weighed in, complaining that increasingly popular these stories, they weren't Christian enough. So the brothers caved into popular demand and they started editing. They started adding Christian references and folks, the expressions. They started emphasizing gender and familial roles and norms that their audience would approve of. For example, the wicked mothers of snow, white, and Hansel and Gretel turned into wicked stepmothers. They stripped out sexual references

such as in Rapunzel, in the original Grim version and evil witch holds Rapunzel captive in a tower. One day, a prince visits her in secret. He later escapes without alerting the witch, but Rapunzel spills the beans. How? She innocently asks why her dress doesn't fit anymore. For some reason, now it's too tight around her pregnant belly, right? It doesn't take long for the witch to realize that she's pregnant.

Well, in later editions, the brother's grim took this out because people were outraged. There was a reference to premarital sex. Again, I said it before, they didn't really edit much of the violence out. Again, so weird, man. We have historically loved tales of violence. The current popularity of True Crime podcast, not an aberration. Humans have loved a tale of woe and blood being still for a long, long time. And then while the audiences of the day criticized the Grims of the editing their folklore later authors and critics would then criticize them for making those changes.

They couldn't win. Can't please everyone. Lord of the Rings author Tolkien hated the stories were altered and some misguided attempt to corrupt the youth. As I mentioned him earlier, you know, he said that there was a should be no such thing as writing for children. He's just right. E.B. White, the author of Charlotte's web and Stuart Little told the Paris review, anyone who writes down to children is simply wasting his time. You have to write up, not down. Neil Gaiman, author of American Gods in Coraline

has argued to protect and children from the dark does not, or does them a grave disservice. Maurice Sondak, author of Where the Wild Things Are, once said in an interview, I don't write for children. I write and somebody says, that's for children. All third and all, two dark or not, their stories were originally told to children

and after the Grimms published them, they became very popular with children again. And part of the popularity came from talking animals. Are you talking animals? Why do so many of us love a story with some talking animals? When I was a kid, I loved Tom and Jerry, and Bugs Bunny, and the far side, and Calvin and Hobbs, or Hobbes, I don't know.

And all the minute, I even love Garfield for a while. He doesn't hold up for me, but the other ones do. Kids still love talking animals, man. Pixar and Disney makes billions off of talking animals. Finding Nemo that Disney and Pixar collaboration made over $870 million at the box office alone against a total budget of $94 million. made over $870 million at the box office alone. Against a total budget of 94 million, and it also sold more DVDs than any other film ever.

Almost 40 million grossing almost 700 million more dollars. And then there have been books and the clothes and additional licensing rights and the sequel and well, you get it. A lot of fucking money made off a couple of talking and fish. And before Disney and Pixar and everyone else, the main source of popular kid stories featuring talking animals was hands down to brothers, Grim. The influence, all these later talking animal, you know,

stories. The Grim fairy tales of talking wolves, foxes, various birds, donkeys, cats, mice, even a half boy, half hedgehog, inspiration for Sonic. I don't know, maybe. Let's investigate this hedgehog boy. This is another weird one, that's the all-r. The story is called Hans the Hedgehog,

and it goes essentially like this. A man and his wife are so desperate to have a kid that the man birds out, I'd even take a fucking hedgehog for a son. What do you know? The wish comes true. The wife gives birth to a half-head jog, half-baby or half-boy-baby.

Human from the waist down, hedgehog from the waist up. The mother is less than happy about it. Curse as the husband's careless wish, the husband isn't so stoked to have a half hedgehog either. Not wanting to have anything to do with them. The parents piled some straw behind the stove for him to sleep and they neglect him and then interact with him as little as possible. Hans doesn't enjoy not being wanted.

When he's just eight years old, he strikes out on his own as he gets fortune. He actually takes off on a rooster wearing horse shoes because you know, I'd know who knows, no one knows why he does this. He also takes some bagpipes. His dad gives him promise and he'll never return if his dad lets him have him. Not sure if he was super tiny,

like chicken right in size. And his dad happened to have tiny bagpipes or if he was normal size, it wrote off on a massive cock. And if you don't know for some reason, cock is another term for rooster, and that's the one they actually used in this story. I don't want you to think in some version

of the story, it rode off on a big dick. It was somehow wearing horseshoes while playing a bagpipe. So, it's weird, it's not quite that weird. After Hans leaves, a few farm animals follow him, including some pigs, they all live out in the woods. Then one day a lost king, here's him playing his bagpipes beautifully in the woods. It makes a deal with king hears him playing his bagpipes beautifully in the woods.

He makes a deal with the king. The king's lost, so show him the way home with the king promises to give him the first thing that comes to greet him when he gets home. The king's daughter is the first person to come out and greet the king. But the king was sneaky and he tried to add a little caveat to the deal, a little loophole that allowed him to not give his daughter over. Then later, another lost king finds Hans. Hans makes the same deal, but he makes sure not to allow any to not give his daughter over. Well, then later, another lost king finds Hans. Hans makes the same deal, but he makes sure not to allow any loopholes and his daughter

runs out first to eat this king. So now he's supposed to get this daughter. And then later, he comes to collect both daughters, actually. And because the first guy tricked him, Hans injures the first king's daughter by taking her clothes off and purposely piercing her skin with his hedgehog quills, making her bleed all over. And because he dealt with him honestly, Hans does not poke the second king's daughter

all over an insetty mariser. And on the wedding night, he tells the king to build a fire and to post guards at his door. Hans then somehow takes off his hedgehog skin and structs the guards to throw the skin in the fire and watch it until it is completely burned. Not sure why he didn't do this earlier,

if that was a fucking option the entire time. Then Hans appears like black as if he's been burned, but then physicians clean him up and he's shown to be a handsome young gentleman. At for several years, he Hans then returned to home to collect his father and they live happily ever after together in the kingdom. So I guess he got over his dad, you know, not giving a shit about him as a kid. Energy morals, you know, he lights one woman up with quills because she doesn't want to be essentially sold into a marriage with literal fucking beasts, but he lets the dad who abandoned him live with him in the castle.

Not sure at first glance what the moral here is, I don't know, maybe it's okay to neglect your kids, but it's not okay to not fuck animals if your dad gives you a way to one. I don't know. Actually, academics say that redemption and transformation are key elements of the story. In the sense, says grim translator, Peter Worseman, that redemption is sometimes a matter of shedding off our old skin and discovering another. Right? And then talks about how, you know, doing this when mankind is facing fears and furies.

And I do see that. I mean, that is pretty cool. The underlying message behind all the insanity. I do like the element of rebirth. Reminds me of the Phoenix. I like that story of being reborn in its own ashes. I've had a Phoenix tattoo to my back for like 20 years because I love that message.

You can rebuild and start over. You can transform into something new. I've transformed numerous times in my adult life from student to counselor to trainer to guitar comic, to joke teller, to producer, to comedic storyteller, the podcast researcher, lately morphed into horror storyteller. Who knows when I'll take my hedgehog skin off and burn in the fire next becomes something else. Or maybe this is the hedgehog skin.

I'm meant to say the rest of my days. I don't know. Long before Tom and Jerry, the Grim Brothers put a tale of a human like cat and a human like mouse together in their book. It was called cat and Mouse in partnership. Pretty straightforward. The moral of this story pretty straightforward. Trust no one because sometimes one of your friends might try to fuck you over to you.

Of course, this is dark. A cat and mouse decided to live together one summer and they buy a pot of fat to get them to the winner. They decided to keep the pot hidden in a safe place under an altar to church and only use it if necessary. Pretty soon the cat gets hungry, wants to eat some of the winner. They decided to keep the pot hidden in a safe place under an altar to church and only use it if necessary. Pretty soon the cat gets hungry, wants to eat some of the fat, so the cat makes up a story, says she has become a godmother. And she tells the story in order to secretly visit the church. She asks the mouse to stay and watch their place. Later when the cat returns home after eating the top layer of stored fat, the mouse asks what

the name of the kitten she is a godmother to is, and the cat says top off. The mouse thinks it's a weird name, but has no idea what the cat's actually done. Later, the cat says she has another Christian to go to. The same church, and she gives the same story, goes there, eats more of the fat.

This time, when the mouse questioned her, she says the baby's name is half gone. I think you can see where this is going. Again, the mouse thinks it's weird name, but still has no idea that the cat has been eaten the fat. Well, the cat does this one more time before winter, and this time eats all the rest of the fat, and then tells the mouse that the baby at this Christian was named all gone. Again, the mouse thinks this is weird, but doesn't realize what has actually happened until the two of them go to the church that winter once they've run out of food and are hungry

in order to get the fat. When the mouse sees that the pot is empty, she starts to realize what the cat was referring to when she said, top off, half gone, and all gone. The cat warns her not to push the issue any further. The mouse continues to push the issue and does not drop it. And then the cat eats her. And then the story ends with a closing remark of, and that is the way of the world. The end.

Fun times, your friends are gonna lie to you and take your shit and if you call them out on it, come fucking kill you. And go to bed. Next story is a lot weirder, weirder. This is one of my favorites. It's called the mouse, the bird, and the sausage. It's so absurd. I feel like my sense of humor has been shaped

largely by all this folklore, either directly from the originals because I did read a lot of the Grimm's fairy tales when I was really little, or directly from other stories, these stories clearly influenced, like all the random violence and silliness and all the old Warner Brothers, Loonie Tune cartoons. Do you ever think about how violent those are? That's all they do basically.

Just be the shit out of each other, those cartoons. Job each other up, and then they reform, eat each other, all kinds of crazy stuff. And this absurd tale, to make their house hold a cohesive unit, three odd friends each have a specific role within the home. The bird collects wood for the fire, the mouse is in charge of collecting water, lighting the fire, and setting the table, and the sausage keeps everyone well-fed. Makes sense for the sausage to do that. There's literally one thing, and only one thing that sausages are good at is keeping people

fed. It's feeding creatures. If I'm going to have car trouble, I'm not going to call a sausage. If I need a relationship advice, I'm not going to talk to a sausage. If I'm hangry, go here sausage. I need you now more than ever. One day, the bird decides they should change roles. Since the bird feels like he's in all the hard work.

Now his two friends, they agree to shake things off a bit and this decision quickly and massively backfires. The sausage now goes out to collect wood and ends up getting eaten by a dog. The mouse tries to cook like the sausage by throwing her body into the pot to try and season everything and she dies. And then the bird goes to collect some water, falls into the well and drowns. And as weird as the story is, I think it has a better and more straightforward life lesson than most of the rest.

Do the job you're good at, do the job you're meant to do, and shut the fuck up. Also, you know, trying to do something that you're not meant to do, or good at, could lead to your demise. I really, pretty good lesson. You know, what are you good at? Working really hard at what you are also good at, what you have some natural talent for is gonna give you the best chance of success.

I could not believe that more. I'm all for chasing your dreams. That's what I've done, but make sure that you chase the right dream. When I was in college, I dreamed of being a musician for a while. Listen, music all day, pretty much every day still. Love it.

I can play guitar. Don't play much anymore, but I used to play all the time. I used to be able to play okay. I can play guitar. Don't play much anymore, but I used to play all the time. I used to be able to be able to play okay I can sing decently, but I've never had that much musical talent. Thank God I had enough self-awareness to realize that Right making people laugh always came way easier much more naturally wooing others with my musical talents did not come nearly as easy So instead of pursuing music I eventually came around to pursuing something else creative

I can still write so still do something creative, but actually maybe be able to make some money at and that led to a career in comedy. Sometimes I see people pursuing comedy who simply they just don't have it. And I feel bad for them. Hard to tell somebody, dude, this is not gonna work out for you.

What else do you love to do? You know, make a list of the things you love to do, make another list of the things that you're good at, the people have told you're good at, or that you have a knack for, where do those two lists intersect? Find that, find that, and pursue that with all your fucking heart, work your ass off.

Be the sausage that gets better and better at feeding people. Don't be the sausage who thinks, fuck feeding people, I'm gonna go chop some wood, because that is how you get eaten by a dog. Thanks, old crazy German story. Strange enough, that story isn't the only grim story to start a sausage. This next sausage story is even weirder. It's called the Strange Feast.

It's definitely gonna have you wondering what the fuck was wrong with Germans? If you're not already wondering that. Here is this story, it's a pretty short one, so I'm going to read it in its entirety. A blood sausage and a liver sausage have been friends for some time, and the blood sausage invites the liver sausage from me at her house. At dinner time, the liver sausage merely set out for the blood sausages house. But when she walks to the doorway, she saw all kinds of strange things. There were many steps, and on each one of them she found something different.

There were a broom and a shovel fighting with each other, a monkey with a big wound on his head, and more such things. The hell's going on it. Cassidy blood sausage. Sources now they were freak. The liver sausage was very frightened and upset by this. Nevertheless, she took her heart, entered the room, and was welcomed in a friendly way by the blood sausage. The liver sausage began to inquire about the strange things on the stairs, but the blood

sausage pretended not to hear her, or made it seem it was not worth talking about. Or she said something about the shovel in the room such as, that was probably my maid gospel when someone on the stairs, and she shifted the topic to something else. Then the blood sausage said she had to leave the room to go into the kitchen and look after the meal. She wanted to check to see that everything was in order and that nothing had fallen into the ashes. The liver sausage began walking back and forth in the room and kept wondering about the strange

things until someone appeared. I don't know who it was and said, let me warn you liver sausage, you're in a bloody murderous trap. You'd better get out of here quickly if you value your life. Is this a story or a fever dream? What the hell is going on? And why do I care so much about liver sausage? Run liver sausage! Run your little liver sausage to ask off before it's too late!

The liver sausage did not have time to think twice about this. She ran out the door as fast as she could. Oh, thank God. Nor did she stop until she got out of the house. It was in the middle of the street. Then she looked around and saw the blood sausage standing high up in the attic window with a long long knife That was gleaming as though it had just been sharpened the blood sausage threatened her and cried out if I had caught you I would have had you and that's it. That's the whole story

Okay, scholars don't seem to have spent a lot of time analyzing this one because it's fucking crazy. Would really love to see Disney take a crack at this one. Just in time for Christmas, two sausages that were supposed to be friends, but one sausage wanted the other sausage, dead. Starring Christopher Walken as the liver sausage. Are you sure? Everything's okay.

I mean, I saw a broom. Finding a shovel on a stairs. A monkey was bleeding. Let me feel a little concerned about your party. Starring Arnold Schwarzenegger as blood sausage. You've nothing to worry about the liver sausage. I'm just a normal sausage. I'm a normal sausage party.

Featuring new music by Michael motherfucking McDonald. Run live a sausage. Run, run, run live a sausage. The strange feast opens Friday nationwide. This is one party you don't want to be late to. Okay, not gonna lie, kind of want to watch that now. Start off as a joke about how stupid it was. Now I'm fucking, now I'm into it.

No idea what the moral of the sausage party is. Maybe don't play with your food. Maybe take it easy on hard drugs. This next tale, one of 13 stories they have the word three in the title in the brother's grim. There's legends like the three brothers, the three little birds, the three sluggards. This next tale happens to be about three snakes.

You can't have talking animals without a talking snake or two in the mix. Talking snakes always been popular. Go back to the beginning of the Bible, the beginning of the Torah. This one's called the three snake leaves and the story goes something like this. A young princess will only marry her intended,

who is a great warrior. He first agrees, if he first agrees to one thing. Whenever the first one of them dies, the other gets buried with him, buried alive. He agrees because he loved her and people do stupid shit in the name of love all the time and then not long to their marriage, he gets sick and dies, and he gets placed in the vault with her confidence sealed inside. While in there, a snake appears and he hacks it into three pieces because fuck snakes. Then some kind of wizard snake, so jump, and brings his dead snake, friend back to life

with three leaves, and they both leave before the young man hacks them both into pieces as well. And the husband thinks, hey, if those magic leaves brought that snake back to life, maybe they'll resurrect my wife too, I should give this a shot, and he places the leaves on his wife, and she does in fact come back from the dead. Yay! Unfortunately, the two of them do not live happily after despite being brought back to life by his ingenuity,

while the two of them are on a ship in the middle of a sea voyage to see her father and tell him the good news about her no longer being dead, this bitch falls in love with the captain and the two of them conspire to kill him. They throw him over aboard any drowns. The end, right? No.

Now this short story has more strange twists and turns than an M Night Shabel on movie. After drowning the husband, uh, after, after drowning, the husband is rescued by his servant who uses the magic leaves to bring him back to life, and then the two of them find the king and tell him everything, and then that king has his daughter and the ship captain executed the end. The moral of the story always hold onto magic resurrection leaves because they come in fucking super handy if you die, you know, you know what I mean? Another moral might be don't trust zombies. Once he brought his wife back from the dead, she turned on him.

That's when she turned on him. And once he was brought back from the dead, he turned in his wife. Mm-hmm. Okay, how about one more crazy ass tale before we dive into a little timeline in the Grimbrothers Lives, and then we'll all share three more of their stories. Let me tell you a little tale about a talking cock. The death of the little hen. It's another rather short yet not so sweet story as you might introduce from the title.

Here's how this one opens. Opening line, once upon a time, the little hen went with the little cock to the nut hill. Yep. Cock, head into the nut hill. And it says, the little hen finds a big nut,. Yep, cock head into the nut hill. And it says, the little hen finds a big nut, which she is supposed to share and doesn't. She then proceeds to choke on it and she cries out for the cock.

Choking on a nut and crying out for some cock. Goodnight kids, hope you enjoyed your story. The little cock runs to get water but has to jump through many obstacles to get it. By the time he returns, the hen has died. Wanting to bury her, the little cock sets out to do just that and has some guests hop on the back of the cart, which becomes too heavy to properly carry all of them. Near a stream, the cart tips over and all the animals drown except for the little cock. And then this

is the last sentence, this weird tale. Then the little cock was left alone with the dead hen and dug a grave for her and laid her in it and made a mound above it, on which he sat down and fredded until he died too and then everyone was dead. The end. Yay. Everyone said, what's the moral of the story? Don't focus too hard on the nuts when you're dealing with some cocky. You might just choke on something nuts and die.

Dad jokes coming in hot. Actually, the moral seems to be to always share your stuff. You know, kind of a crazy way to always share your stuff. Yeah. Kind of a crazy way to teach that lesson in my humble opinion. But that is a lesson gosh dang. Okay, so now that we've heard some of the stories from the Grimbutters, you know,

the ones they collected, let's meet the guys in today's time suck timeline. Right after all of you listening and not watching on YouTube, hear from a few awesome sponsors. Now let's get into that time-suck timeline. Shrap on those boots, soldier. We're marching down a time-suck timeline.

January 4th, 1785, Jacob Ludwig Karl Grimm. The oldest of the famous brothers is born in Hanau, Germany. Hanau is a small city, about a hundred thousand people, located in the Hesse Land of Central Germany. It's been a town since the 12th century. The Old Town group around the castle, the lords of Hanau. City walls were built around the town at the beginning of the 14th century, then the city outgrew its walls and new walls were built in the 16th century. Just over a year later, February 24, 1786, Wilhelm Karl Grimm, also born in Hennau. Jacob and Wilhelm's parents were Philip, who was a lawyer and Dorothea Grimm, who stayed at home. Renhouse raised the kids. A couple had nine children. Only six would survive infancy. Jacob and Bill

Helm Grimm were the oldest surviving sons in the family. The couple's first son, Frederick, had died in 1784 when he was just three months old. Part of the brothers' grim stories that the two brothers were the best of friends and remain close their entire lives. I do love that. I have one sibling, my younger sister Donna, and we're close. I love her. I love the hell out there. She's a great human being. But we're not as close as like these two guys, we're because we're over five years apart in age. Just a big enough gap to have always had, two completely different circles of friends.

That sibling relationship where they're almost the same age has always seemed so different to me than any other type of sibling relationship. I mean, especially twins, I guess. But even if you're not twins, but just really close. I think it's pretty cool to truly be able to grow up together like that, where neither sibling has a memory of life before the other.

When they're on the same developmental page, the entire time grown up, brother Carl Friedrich Grimm, who will become a merchant in a language teacher, born a year later on April 24th, 1787, also on Hanau, or Hanau. Hanau, there we go. Yet another brother will be born in Hanau in 1788, December 18th of that year. Ferdinand Philip Grimm is born, goes on to become a successful bookseller and writer. The following year, the French Revolution begins with the attack on the Bastille July 14th. Definitely check out the Napoleon's sub 134 if you want to learn more about the French

Revolution. This world will play a major role in the brothers' lives as the world shifts dramatically around them in ways none of us born and raised in North America and even remotely relate to. Another grim brother added to the family in 1790 on March 14th, Ludwig, a meal grim born in Hanau, and he'll go on to become a painter in an etcher. Lot of talent, lot of creative talent in this family.

1791, grim daddy Philip becomes a magistrate and leader in Steineau, the town where he was born, and the town where his father would end up being a pastor for 47 years, and then the whole family moves to Steineau, a much smaller town of about 10,000 people today, located on the Kinzig River, not too far away, about 50 kilometers or 30 miles north east of Hanau. Now, far away today, less than a half hours drive, but a long ways away in the Grims time. Back then it would take about eight hours, according to what I found, to travel that far via horse-drawn carriage. Isn't that crazy to think about how much smaller the world's gotten, thanks to cars, trains, airplanes,

et cetera. For years, my mom lived just over 30 miles from where she worked. She lives in Whitebird Idaho, working in Riggins, Idaho, and she drive just over 30 miles from where she worked. She lives in Whitebird Idaho, working in Riggins, Idaho. And she drive just over 30 miles into work five days a week. And it wasn't a big deal. An easy, you know, pretty stress-free, always traffic-free, you know, 30 minutes or less drive. Funny how back then you can move 30 miles away and you might not ever go back to the first place because it was just so far away.

A sister Charlotte, Omelie, is born in Sineau in 1793. So now there's six little grims running around driving Philip in the door of the Echrae's Yom Shure. Jacob is a Wilhelm is seven at this point. And then in 1793 life is good or end in 1793, excuse me, life is good for the Grims. Their family was genuinely religious. They saw the hardships and good times, you know, going on in their lives as all being part of God's plan. And which I can believe that some days, the hardships, others' experience, and fury at me feel very unfair. The children were expected to work hard and be good

and they succeeded in this. Philip made good money as a lawyer. He and his wife had a good reputation for being fine upstanding citizens. Philip's motto was, he cannot go wrong whose life is in the right. And he and his wife tried doing still strong morals into their children and they did a good job Sadly three years later on January 10th 1796 Philip Grim died and signed out pneumonia at age 44 and without his income the family falls on the hard times

Then to move out of the large house they lived in with the head servants and lived somewhat lavishly had to move into his much smaller house where everyone had to do their, you know, part, everyone had to do ordinary work to keep the household running. No government programs held the port that time. So Dorothea had to rely on help from relatives and their father's small pension to keep the family fed. Luckily Philip's sister, Julianne Schlimmer, had moved with the family from Hanau to Steinau and she was able to help Dorothea raise the children. The Grim Brothers aunt, Tahta boys had a read and write as well as teach them about religion,

aunt Schlemner is given credit for having developed the boys intellectual capacities that later led to a career in academia. After his father died, Jacob the eldest living child now considered the head of the household, he had just turned 11 and he was expected to take care of the money, make plans for his future, make sure his mother and siblings would be the money, make plans for his future, make sure his mother and siblings will be financially secure, make plans for their future as well. No pressure. My God, can you imagine putting your financial future

in the hands of an 11 year old? Like I know we have some young listeners, some smart young listeners and because you are smart, you know, damn well, that your little 11 year old 21st century ass is not gonna help keep yourself fed. Let alone your family. My daughter Monroe just turned 12. She's a smart 12 year old. Can't imagine a world she has to work to provide for family such different times. Jacob and the next oldest brother, Ville Helm, they had to grow up fast after the death of their father.

They would be plagued by money problems and you know burdened by caring for younger younger siblings for many years. money problems and burdened by caring for younger siblings for many years. Making things even harder, their beloved aunt dies less than a year later on December 10th, 1796 at the age of 61. It doesn't say how she died. This is the aunt that was living with them, helping raise them. I'm guessing she may not have, or they may not have no illness as mentioned anywhere that I can find. After the death of both her husband and her helpful sister in law in the same year, Dorothea's

drowning, right? She can't afford to raise all these kids. Can't afford to keep the family together. In October of 1798, Jacob and Wilhelm are sent 90 miles, 145 kilometers away to castle. We're another aunt, Henriette, Philop, Henriette, Philippine Zimmer, Dorothea's older sister, who would take them in and support the boys, who are now 12 and 13. Later that year, more tragedy occurs.

The following month on November 22nd, 1798, Jacob and Wilhelm's grandfather, their dads, dad dies in Hanau. In just two years, the family has lost some of its most important pillars, dad, paternal grandfather, and their closest aunt. Thank God for other family members stepping up and stepping into help. Man, any of you out there who have taken in children, you didn't give birth to or financially support kids,

all the step parents, aunts, uncles, foster parents, those who adopt kids or those who just let kids crash as they're placed for as long as it needed just to help them in. Huge respect. On behalf of so many of us who haven't had to made that sacrifice, thank you for being a damn saint, you beautiful bastards, you're your difference makers. Jacob and Wilhelm's Henriette sends the boys to

Kossles, Equivalent of a high school to help further their education. She knew they were bright and talented and she invested in their talent. Going to school was the first time the brothers had been away from home. You know, the first time they'd been formally educated. They struggled at first. They weren't prepared to walk into the academic rigors of high school with no prior formal education, whatsoever.

Apparently, their new teachers treated them poorly when they started off in school as well. Most older classmates came from well to do families and also had better early schooling and the boys were seen as second class citizens. They were the bottom rung on the social ladder. Man, I've always hated people who treat others poorly because they happen to come from families with less money

or because they're less connected socially, less cool. Living in Los Angeles, working a bit in the comedy and TV world, many of you meet a lot of those people. Social climbers, the person who picks their friends very strategically, based on what that person can do for their career. And look, sometimes that's smart.

Sometimes it's very smart to network. I get that, that doesn't make you a bad, not at all. But certain climbers are only nice to those who can help them. Right, they'll be nice to the president of a TV network. Things are a great person. Oh, they're so sweet. Oh, man, I love them, they're so great. But then there's shit to the valet driver, right? They're shit to the waiter. And those people think they're a great person. Oh, they're so sweet. I mean, I love them. They're so great. But then there's shit due to the valet driver, right?

They're shit due to the waiter. And those people think they're an asshole because they can't gain anything from those people. And fuck that person. How gross might help you become successful in business, but is that really the only way you want to be measured as far as success goes? Doesn't make you a good person.

The Grim Brothers classmates, in addition to allegedly being treated better by their teachers, these other kids also had more pocket money, more time to spend the money on fun than the Grim Brothers. You know, the Grim Brothers, they were the social outcast, they were the odd men out. Wasn't a fun transition for them. Given that, though, they're a strong moral compass by their father and mother, they felt that they owed their aunt who didn't have to take them in even. She didn't have to do that, but now she was going above and beyond to do that. So they felt it was, you know, their duty

to just focus on school, not worry about social distractions, not feel sorry for themselves and just bust their asses. So they did that. They took their opportunity very seriously. They put their heads down, worked their asses off. Truly a great example, very inspirational. They would grow to become honorable men. Initially, Jacob and Villain Haven had to do extra work to catch up to the other students. And after a

few months, because they were both very smart and maybe more importantly, very hard workers. They not only both caught up, they got ahead. They kicked ass and eventually their teachers were like, I guess you I guess you two little dirty streetier kids are okay. Jacob and Villehammer were inseparable at school. They got up at the same time in the morning. They'd meals together, took breaks together, studied together, went to sleep at the same time. Remember how I said earlier, that I thought it'd be so cool

to be that close to a sibling? I don't think so anymore. I'm rethinking it. It doesn't sound that fun right now. I wouldn't want to be around anyone that much. I need some alone time. I'd beat it for 10 minutes so I can beat it, bro. Kind of least jack off alone,

or you can still be right beside me. Coaching me like some kind of fucked up personal trainer. Come on, come on, you got this. You got this. Woo, woo, woo, come on, don't quit now. 15 more strokes, and you're done. You can do this, dig deep, bro. Breathe, 10 more strokes, come on, fight for the build.

Fight, finish strong. Come on. They were very close. They weren't as close as I just joked around about being. They were also different people. Jacob, you know, personality-wise, Jacob the eldest, I was just laughing, thinking about what the neighbors must think sometimes again. Jacob, the neighbors in this next meeting, the recording studio, if you're new to the show. Jacob the eldest serious, introverted, physically active, Ville Helm, outgoing and talkative, who didn't do as well physically, had asthma back when it was really hard to get your hands on an inhaler since they hadn't been invented yet. And he was kind of the run to the litter. After graduation, the boy's family wanted them to continue their educations and study law.

This would allow them to get the kind of job to not only do well for themselves financially, but it would also help them provide for the younger siblings for the mom. The plan was for each them to apply to the prestigious University of Marburg Law School. Founded in 1527, it's one of Germany's oldest schools, one of the oldest still operating schools in the world that was founded as a Protestant college. Today, it's a public university with over 25,000 students. Notable alumni include Kim Wong-Sik, former prime minister of South Korea, and Nobel Prize winning poet, T.S. Eliot.

And she was a year older, Jacob went to Marburg first. Jacob actually was rejected when he first applied, not because he was a poor student, but because he didn't belong to the right level of society. The university was in the kingdom of Hesse, and the rulers had to create that since there were too many students applying for the university

only those in the legally defined top seven levels of society could attend. I get a little class hierarchy. Jacob Grimm as the son of the magistrate or as the son of a magistrate fell into the eighth level of society. So many rungs down the ladder. So the university initially refused to accept him no matter how good of a student he was, which is obviously so stupid. What a silly thing for a government to do. Deny its own societies, brightest minds from attaining the best education possible. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. I wonder how many nations lost wars or had their cultures collapsed because they failed to nourish the best and brightest members of their own culture because they were too worried about like class, like classes

of society, keeping everything all segregated. We'll never know what inventions and contributions those prevented from progressing or were prevented from progressing along because of being denied education because somebody wasn't born in the right family or something. The Grim Brothers mother Dorothea wrote a letter to the Hessian ruler asking for special permission for her son to attend and it was and this was granted in 1802. If not, we would have never had their book. And think about the potential ripple effect of that possible outcome without that book,

would Disney be what Disney is today, would there ever have been a Disney? How much later to literature would have never been developed if Dorothea hadn't written that letter? On April 30th, 1802, Jacob began studying law at the University of Marburg without his brother. First time the brothers now 17 and 16 had been separated. Back in Castle, Wilhelm became seriously ill, was confined to his room for six months, and I have to wonder the stress of being separated from his brother helped bring this illness on.

I mean, who knows? Fills, feels like a weird coincidence. He was so sick, he wasn't allowed to read or write. For some reason, though, wasn't allowed to read or write for some reason though He was allowed to sketch and every day his friend Paul Wiggand the son of a university professor would come and talk to him and keep him company And you get to love old-timey doctors, right? Can't read or write you can still draw shit, which makes absolutely no sense Right how is reading something or writing something more taxing than drawing something? I mean, maybe don't ask him to like write his eulogy in case he dies that that's stressful How is reading something or writing something more taxing than drawing something?

I mean, maybe don't ask him to write his eulogy in case he dies, that's stressful, I guess not. Maybe don't have him read stories about young men getting the second dying. I mean, that's stressful, but in general, it doesn't make sense. Ville Hum, of course, eventually got better. He got strong enough to read and write again. He could do more than just draw.

When he went back to class, he was not only caught up on the work he missed, but advanced beyond what most students were taught in the year. Soon, he would join Jacob and Marburg. The brothers reunited in 1803. They would again be inseparable. They were joined by their mutual friend Paul, who almost didn't get in either because of his lower social status.

Went to smart peasants, daring to go to school with the rich, your riches of Germany, which was actually still known as the Holy Roman Empire at this time. While studying at Marburg, the boys became especially impressed by 24 year old professor named Frederick Carl von Savini. Professor von Savini didn't give dry lectures and expect students to copy down and memorize long lists of facts. He gave passionate lectures, made learning fun, like it, hail Nimrod. Learned to be fun, the world's the nerds in place. And even if we have to learn something that's not interesting, it should still be fun to feel like you're getting smarter, right? Now it should be.

Professor von Saviny also gave the Grimm Brothers and other students access to the school library, which was a big deal and unique. And those days, free public libraries were an option. Access to O-Somany Books were rare. It was rare, it was special. You know, and this opened up a new world for the Grims. Their big brains were being fed like never before.

It's like they'd won free tickets to all you can eat knowledge with, Faye. They started the study Germany's history. They started the study, the structure of German languages. They followed their nerdy little horse desires. Another example of how important little decisions like this can be, had their brothers not met this professor, how they not gained access to those books,

they probably would not have ended up becoming, you know, collectors of folklore, they would have ended up becoming lawyers. Bon Savini taught them the careful research methods, they would use later when collecting their stories, he taught them the importance of German history, how these studies, you know, were just as important as Greek and Roman studies

that they learned at the university. They met other writers who were also interested in their country's cultural history and heritage at the professor's house And this just speaks to how important, you know, really good teacher can be in somebody's life How can like shape the world? You know, maybe the teacher doesn't become known like their name it gets lost to history sometimes But there are students the minds they shaped influence the world in crazy ways So, you know, they meet the other writers who are also interested in Germany's cultural history and heritage. Later on, these writers were claimed that they sent the Grims onto their path to fame. The idea that the Grims had of becoming lawyers was now lost because of the influence of

these other people. I'm sure Mama Grim was not initially pleased, you know. I'm so proud of my sweet bias, Lias, just like their father. What? What did you just say? You decided to work on a collection of children's stories instead. Nine! Nine! I want to allow it. Your father's rolling over in his grave. I even know children's tale for you. Hickory, dickory, duck.

It's back to law school or clock. Stop this nonsense. Thanks to Vaughan Saviny. The brothers get to know romantic poets such such as Achim Van Onim, Clemens Brantano, after the grim brothers finish their law studies, they continue to work as clerks in librarians in castle and pursue linguistic studies. In 1805, mother grim and the boys siblings moved from Stineau to castle. Probably irritated, they're not living in a big house with all the lawyer money that

the brothers could have been making. Also in early 1805, professor Von Savon, he goes to Paris to conduct further linguistic and cultural research at the French National Library. And he soon writes back to Aschete, Jacob, to join him as his assistant. This means dropping out of law school right at the very end, putting off a proper day job when the family could use the money,

but Jacob's mother and aunt are supportive. They do agree to let him do it. Thank God for another cool aunt whose family was willing to financially help the Grimm's pursue their dreams. In 1806 France brings war to the Germans, Napoleon busy worked on his plans to make all the world French. When Jacob returns from his work in Paris, the best job he can find is as a clerk in the

Hessian War office. He gets the job despite not graduating from the university, and around this time, Wilhelm does graduate from law school. In August of 1806, this manpling of the Holy Roman Empire of the German nation occurs when Emperor Francis II abdicates his title, releases all imperial states and officials from their oaths and obligations to the empire.

The Holy Roman Empire has been in business for over a thousand years before Napoleon comes into the picture. When the French War, or excuse me, when the French took over, an occupied castle, Jacob continued working at what is now the French War office. And then I imagine they just changed it out of fucking, you know, couple of signs.

And they're like, this is French now. Can't do a French accent. I can't do any accent really. I can do the French accent less than the others. And then he, you know, he hears about a much better, much less born position at the Royal Library, because now there's royalty in town. Napoleon Bonaparte had put his youngest brother Jerome

on the throne of Westphalia, which included Hesha. It was around this time that the brothers began collecting and writing down fairy tales, when they, you know, which they heard in Castle and in Surroundings. A woman there named Dorothea Vemen and two Huguenot families told him tales of the region and of French origins. Jacob's interests were more research-based while Wilhelm put the stories and tales they

heard into a more pleasantly written style. The brother's primary goal was linguistic research, at this time, especially Jacob's comprehensive study of history and structure of the German language. His study of the past German languages, you know, versions became known as Grimslaw. Grimslaw defines the relationship between certain constants and Germanic languages and their originals in Indo-European. These constants would undergo shifts over time to change the way they were pronounced. And interesting to the primary motivation that led to the discovery of all these crazy

stories wasn't just gathering the stories for the sake of preserving them, not initially. It was to show how German language had evolved from its linguistic predecessors. Around this time, Ville Helm developed some serious heart problems. He stopped working and traveled to Hollywood for treatments. He was lucky to survive. Electric shock therapy, not the good kind, now used to effectively treat some kind of psychiatric illnesses.

It was just one of the many torturous treatments he reportedly received. Luckily in time, his heart problems seemed to go away on their own. When he wasn't getting strange to the air piece, he was pouring through old books, looking for folk tales, spending time with his friends. The folk tales of brothers gathered filled a real need

with the German people, right? They just been conquered by the French. They were very interested in preserving their history, the ways of life of the German people. The Grims gathered stories, not just from the library books, they also went out and found storytellers who remembered time polished tales and they recorded those as well. The ways of life of the German people, the Grims gathered stories, not just from the library books. They also went out and found storytellers who remembered time polished tales and they recorded those as well.

Their sources were mostly educated middle class women who were especially good rocket tours. Many came to the Grims home and recounted stories of Wilhelms and Formas. We're also as young sometimes as 14 year old Dorchen Wilde, one of six daughters of the town of Pockotheri, a Rudolph wild who lived across the street from the Grimm family. Dorch and older sister Gretchen, another tale contributor was 20. The two girls and their mother told Wilhelm several folk tales and many fairy tales, some

of which like the frog prince, frowell, the six swans, and many furs later would become well known to the English speaking world, not just the German world. They asked their friends for help too. Paul Wigg and their old friend from their school days had taken a job as a magistrate, which many saw a lot of interesting people who had committed crimes in the course of his daily work. And Jacob asked him to interview these criminals, take down their robber songs, superstitions and sayings exactly as they said them.

The Grimm's one of these stories told as they had been for years by mostly uneducated people. Jacob and Wilhelm did not want them dressed up with fancy language or rewritten. Well compelled the Grimm to concentrate on old German epics, tales and literature was a belief that the most natural and pure forms of culture. Those which held the community together were linguistic and based in history. According to them, modern literature, even though it might be remarkably rich, was artificial and thus could not express the genuine essence of valk culture that emanated naturally from experience

and bound people together. Therefore, all their efforts went towards uncovering stories from the past. In the preface to their most important work, you know, children's and household tales, still five years away from being published, they would write, it was perhaps just the right time to record these tales

since those people who should be preserving them are becoming more and more scarce. Wherever the tales still exist, they continue to live in such a way that nobody ponders whether they are good or bad, poetic or crude. People know them and love them because they have simply absorbed them in a habitual way.

And they take pleasure in them without having any reason. This is exactly why the custom of storytelling is so marvelous. Hail, Jim Rock. Love it, love a storyteller. In 1807, the brothers were acquainted with the writer, a chim von Arnhem. They said in Castle, again, with his reacquainted and his co-editor, Clemens Brintano,

and the brothers' grim work on the second and third volume of the collection, the boys magic horn, they're doing some other work. This is the beginning of the collection the boys magic horn to the other you know they're doing some other other work this is the beginning of the collection of tales and fairy tales uh... for the first publications of the brothers grim on may twenty eight eighteen away the brother door theogram dies at the age of fifty two and castle another massive loss to the family in her will

she has to have the following written on her tombstone here lies the mother who would still be living if only her son would have honored their father become lawyers lawyers. Uh, Jackay. Uh, no, she never expressed any disappointment in her sons. Uh, July 5th, 1808, the brothers landed a sweet research opportunity. Jerome, the new French king of Westphalia, a new kingdom, right? We talked about, created by Napoleon, had about 12,000 books in his library, and he wasn't interested in reading any of them. The only people other than King Jerome and his queen, Catherine of Verdenberg, who were allowed to use the books for the court library and his assistant. Luckily, that would become Jacob and Philhelm. In July of 1812, the brothers published the first volume of Grims Kinder and Horsamarskin, Tales of Children in

Home. It was called Children and Household Tales, or more commonly Grims Ferry Tales. The book contained 86 numbered folk tales and would change everything for the brothers. The stories quickly, as I said earlier, became popular and also received some criticism. Many felt that the stories were considered to be too violent for children. The brothers tried to explain to their critics, and although many of the stories appealed to children, household tales was not really created for them, as we've already stated, it was created for the brothers' fellow scholars to help preserve the German heritage. But in years to come, some of the stories would appear in later editions of the book significantly changed, as I said earlier, to make them more acceptable for parents and children.

This was frustrating for the brothers, but also, you know, they had to make some money. You got to make some concessions sometimes. 1813 Napoleon loses his ass in the Battle of Nations, Germany becomes German again. By the end of 1814, volume two his ass in the Battle of Nations, Germany becomes German again. By the end of 1814, volume 2 of children and household tales is published. They had 70 stories to the previous collection. On April 15th, 1815, Henriette, their mother's older sister, one of the most important benefactors of the brothers, dies in castle at the age of 67. In July of 1815, Jacob returned to castle, works for the Hessian and Prussian

governments in Paris, in order to return assets robbed by Napoleon. The brothers grim additions of the stories poor Heinrich and Eta appear around this time. Between 1816 and 1818, the brothers would publish to collected massive work known as German legends. They would publish two volumes, which would ultimately be collection of 585 German myths. This book, or this collection, never had the same popular appeal as the children's tales, but it did influence both literature and the study of folklore narrative

after their lives and after their death. Thanks to their work in folklore, the University of Marburg gives their brothers-grim honorable doctorates, also in 1819, also in 1819, the second part of Jacob's German grammar and the second edition of the Children's and Household Tales is published. So there's working on all kinds of shit, putting on all kinds of work. 1821, Wilhelm travels to Frankfurt where his treats on German runes is published. So much study

and these guys are doing. 1822, sister Charlotte, known as Lottie, marries a lawyer and future electoral Hessian secretary of state. Meanwhile, the brothers grim, now 37 and 36 years old, move into a flattened castle and continue to, I'm guessing, quietly beat off in the rooms when they need sexual release. Luciferina does not understand the brothers grim,

not one bit. She never held any power over them they were immune to her charms eighteen twenty three the first english collection of the grimace fairy tales is published in london was called german popular stories in the kids eight that shit up this would make the brothers famous not just in germans beacons but worldwide may fifteen eighteen twenty five when he was thirty nine billhelm gets married marries d'Or. Not his mother. Now, he'll be extra creepy considering that,

not only was she, was she, his mother, but she'd also been dead for 17 years. No, he marries Dorothea wild, that daughter of the pharmacist back in castle, the one he'd met, you know, when she was telling him stories, when she was just 14, and he was a super young dude.

And actually, while she went by Dorothea, his mother's name, her full name was Henriette Dorothea. So it ain't, and his mother's names. Apparently, German women had like five names to pick from back then. And they would go on to have four children together. By the time they wed, they'd known each other for 14 years. Dora Chene as Dorothea was nicknamed,

couldn't marry sooner because she had to stay at home for years and help raise her younger brothers and sisters. Man, that's love, man. Dude waited 14 years to marry her back when people generally did not have premarital sex. Surprise she didn't die on their wedding night. Dude probably built up some of sexual pressure. Yeah, she's lucky he didn't blow her fucking head off.

The introverted Jacob would never marry. Some of us speculated he may have been homosexual, but this is truly just speculation. There are no records of him ever showing any romantic interest in anyone of any sex. Some people I think are just pretty much asexual and to throw out more rampant speculation, I just think that Jacob is probably one of those people. You know, if you ever did masturbate, did probably fantasize about finding some fucking ancient book of German legends and folklore that he had thought was lost to history. Oh yeah, oh yeah, the tale of the blind key blood and the fort-a-fairy hills. Oh, I never thought I'd find it.

Jacob Dick and Tadyl lived with his brother in Dorchon by all accounts. He was a caring and loving uncle who did not beat off the books. You know, no one says that. 1825, the small addition of the children's and household tales is published. This is a selection of 50 tales designed for child readers illustrated by Ludwig Emil Graham, the brother. Pretty cool. Guessing they left Hans the Hedgehog and all kinds of fur out of that one.

1826, Bill Helms, a first son, Jacob, his sister, Lottie's first daughter, Agnes, both dies soon after they're born, man. So much death back then, so much more tragedy. The brothers travel all over Europe over the next several years, lecturing on legal antiquities, historical grammar, literary history, old German poems and more. They would actually travel around Europe

to rest their lives, giving lectures and receiving awards and things, doing research. 1828, Phil Helmsson, Herman is born in Castle, Jacob's German law antiquities is published. 1829, they accept academic positions and become professors and librarians at the University of Gertening, Gertening, and they moved to Gertening and Wilhelm's major work to German legend is

published. And they'll work at that University until 1837. Wilhelm's son Rudolf is born in Gertening, following year, his daughter Augusti is born two years later in 1832, 1833. Sister Lottigram dies at the age of 40. 1834, the brothers published two more books. 1835, Wilhelm publishes the first edition of German mythology, just crank and shit out. The summer of 1837, after the death of English and Hano-Varian King Wilhelm IV on June 20th, his brother Ernest August of Comberlin ascends the throne and repeals the Constitution of 1833. What did this have to do with the grim brothers? Well, Germany was politically fucking complicated when they were alive.

And it's worth talking about. I have referenced all these different places. A holy shit was the complicated. This came into a little German history. It would take an entire suck to properly explain this all, but I price bet too much time on this portion of the suck, but I found it very fascinating. I'll do my best in a few paragraphs, worth of notes to give a basic overview

of the political turmoil that they live through. When the Grimmers were born, you know, a lot of times people just say like, oh, Germany, but it was when we're complicated that. When the Grimmers were born, they were actually born into a nation called the Holy Roman Empire. And it's height. The Holy Roman Empire included the Kingdom of Germany, which is actually born into a nation called the Holy Roman Empire. It's height.

The Holy Roman Empire included the Kingdom of Germany, which was developed out of the Kingdom of the East Franks over a thousand years ago, you know, prior, not years ago from today, you know, years prior to them. East Francia became the Kingdom of Germany, West Francia became the Kingdom of, oh, excuse me, East Francia became the Kingdom of Germany. West Francia became the Kingdom of France. France and Germany fought a ton over the years, partially because originally they came from the same goddamn people, and they've shared a lot of land and culture over the years. France and

Germany very related. Also at its height, the Holy Roman Empire included in addition to the Kingdom of Germany, the northern half of the Kingdom of Italy, Switzerland, Luxembourg, the Czech Republic, Slovenia, parts of Croatia, Austria, most of Belgium, most of the kingdom of Italy, Switzerland, Luxembourg, the Czech Republic, Slovenia, parts of Croatia, Austria, most of Belgium, most of the Netherlands, Eastern France, and for some reason, even some of the extremely undesirable lands of Western Poland, which is probably where most, if not all, of the grim fairy tales involving disgusting monsters come from. Yuck!

J.K. And then this kingdom existed in fluctuating form for over a thousand years right from 800 CE to 1806 when Napoleon dissolved it once and for all by the time Jacob was born in 1785 the empire had been fractured Oh so many times by oh so many wars battles concessions to go royal weddings where this Duke gets this and this Lord becomes King of that And you can have this if you promise to at least give us some tax money and help us in times of war. And the empire quote unquote was a somewhat loose collection of a shit ton of various principalities and vassal states would pledge allegiance to the holy, you know, Roman Empire. Sorry, I think, I think, yes, the Holy Roman Empire got so many places. I want to make sure I set it right. Okay, so let me refocus, find out.

Okay, so the Grim Brothers were technically born in the land-graviet of Hecsa, Castle. That was a little principality that had pledged allegiance to the Holy Roman Emperor. Then from 1806 to 1813, they lived under Napoleon and the confederation of the Rhine, client states of the first French Empire. Their client state was that kingdom

of Westphalia, which was created by merging several Germanic states. Then after Napoleon gets kicked back out of the remnants of the Holy Roman Empire from 1813 to 1848, they'd live in the German Confederation, a collection of 39 primarily German speaking states to non-German speaking states. Their state was the grand Duchy of Hesse, which had formed out of lands that used to belong to the land-graviet of Hesse and Hesse Castle. That nation would later become the people state of Hesse, which would become greater Hesse, which would become part of West Germany, which is now a state in Germany, the state of

Hesse. So many wars. So many wars kept changing the names and borders and territory names of central Europe. The Grims had to deal with numerous revolutions during their lives. They had to appease numerous leaders. And I think all of this really galvanized their desire to study and document German culture.

Probably felt like it was always at the edge of being whitewashed or forgotten due to a lack of a consistent German state, right? With all this constant turmoil and change, what did it even mean to be German? Okay, I think that's enough backdrop for today. I love little things like that. The brother's grim win is a ton of political upheaval

throughout their careers, but continued to work tirelessly. Good job, grim dudes. Back to why I brought this up in 1837, the grim brothers were teaching and gertening today part of Germany. I do my best to say that word correctly. It's a fucking weird one. It was then part of the kingdom of Hanover, you know, another one of those many different

vassal states, former principality of the Holy Roman Empire, new king Ernest Augustus of Hanover, annulls the liberal constitution, which has just been implemented four years earlier in 1833. He demands oaths of allegiance from all professors in Gertnick. And a group of professors, a group of professors who would become known as the Gertnick Seven,

seven professors at the university, including the brother's grimm, protested the repeal of their new constitution. They didn't sign their oaths of allegiance and they get fired and kicked out of handover and they also become legends in their own time. They go back to Castle, jobless and branded as political dissonance by the king, but branded as heroes by the German people fighting for German rights.

The brothers forced to borrow money from friends in order to continue to work on their story collections, right? Despite the political heat, the boys are still celebrities. Public opinion in Germanic states supports the famed scientists. A petition in favor of the Grims was opened and the two most famous publishers in Germany offered the Grims a chance to compile and publish a German dictionary. Let's get those good brains back to work

on some other aspect of German heritage and culture. They accept without hesitation, they go to work in 1838. Their epic German dictionary was extensive, 33 volumes. It is still today the largest and most comprehensive dictionary of the German language in existence. It's been expanded several times since the Grimm's death and scholars

continue to work on it. In 1841, the Prussian king, Frederick Wilhelm IV, welcomes him to Prussia, another German principality of the German confederation that once encompassed a lot of modern day Germany and Poland. Jacob became a member of the Prussian Academy of Science. It became a professor as a villi-helm, lecturing and working on the German dictionary, kept them both busy. The German people very proud of the Grims. They were leading citizens.

They were invited to parties with royalty. On their birthdays, people would come to their house and Sarah, they'd them. Other famous storytellers like Hans, Christian Anderson would travel to Berlin to meet them and pay their respects. For the next several years, they continued to travel and research and, you know, rewarded various academic awards and various Germanic states. They became involved in the German revolutions of 1848 and 1849, when there was a push from many Germans to unify all these tiny little German states into one big German state go full Voltron. In 1845, the grim brothers Lil'bro, Ferdinand dies.

1852, brother Carl dies. Six grim kids are now down to three. In addition to Jacob and Wilhelm only the youngest grim Ludwig, that illustrator, still alive. Also in 1852, they deliver the first edition of the German dictionary. The full volume will be published two years later. Jacob is now 67, Wilhelm is 66. They continue to travel, sometimes together, sometimes apart, still doing research, still racking up awards. In 1857, when Jacob is 72, and Wilhelm is now 71, the seventh and last edition of the Grim Brothers edited version of Children's and Household Tales is published. They're now 210 tales. They've started the initial research

for this project over 50 years prior, a lifelong passion project. How cool is that? Right, they stuck with something. They loved for over five decades, inspiring. Two years later, Wilhelm Grimm dies in Berlin at the age of 73 on December 16th due to complications from a skin infection.

He's laid to rest in Berlin. Older brother Jacob is heartbroken. Remember, he's the brother who never married. He is now especially alone, but he continues his academic work. At this point, what else is he going to do? It's almost all he's done as an adult. Just over three years ago, the younger brother Ludwig Amiel dies at the age of 73 in castle.

Just over three years later, excuse me, that was confusing the way I phrase it. Yeah, in 1863. So now Jacob is truly alone. Many 78 years old, he's outlived his parents, all his aunts and uncles, all his mentors, even though he was the oldest, he's outlived all of his siblings.

Kind of like that movie Monroe and I just watched, kind of the Irishman, except for you know, didn't fucking kill people. Six months later, Jacob grim dies in Berlin at the age of 78. After two strokes, laid to rest next to his brother. And now in death, they have never been separated since both of the brothers died. And that is all for today's time-sug timeline.

Good job, soldier. Made it back. Barely. You made it back. Barely. more sponsor. So just let's get through this. Sorry about that. Time Suck is brought to you today by Father Yod's The Sounds of Forgotten Folklore. Can't get enough of confusing old stories, then this is for you. Father Yod is able to open his third eye when the music is just right and spill forth a never-ending stream of Forgotten Tales. This first one is called The Hungry Weasel finds love and God's favorite clam.

A long time ago, little weasel's hungry, little weasel's. Once we get the ball and baby, little weasel starts digging for clams. It's heard there are a lot of young Thai clams hiding in the area baby. This has to find them. Such a crack them open. They can get inside and feed and get the ball and baby. So they start digging and he finds a clam. First clam he finds, shamed, feeling the weasel, shamed ball and baby.

She says he needs to wait and has to die for permission to crack her open so the little weasel he moves on. He ain't got time for some god's silly old rules, not what his God has told him to make his own, so he gets back to digging, baby. Finds another clam. She's already busy with two other weasel, she's ballin' big time. He moves on again because he ain't got time for alphas. Lookin' to be the top lion in the pride,

not a weak kiddie back in first from side hustle. So he digs again the third climb. She's all alone, no daddy climb, no husband climb. When the yoke tells her God wants her to be a special climb in her eyes, light up, he knows this is his climb. And with a little tap, she cracks open and he climbs inside through a wet little slit and he gets to ball and baby. So order your copy of Father Yoke's or sounds if we're gotten folklore

where there was so much folklore and the moral of every story is always the same. Father Yod wants to get ballin baby. Okay, back now. I feel like it's too easy for me to start talking my father Yod. It feels too natural for some reason. Cuz I'm crazy. Okay, let's play a little game. If you're really confused right now, that was from a couple months ago, Father Yodesai,

the source cult. It's not completely random. All right, I'm going to tell you three tales here at the end. And you're going to have to tell me, you know, to a real, which is, you know, in one I made up. So three stories, to a real, one of which I made up, and I wanted to see like if you can figure out, you know, which story is the one I made up,

and which story is the real one. So there is the toast, the fox, and the fork, is one of the stories. Another story is the wolf and the seven kids, and another story is star money. So let's start with that one. Again, I made one of these up to a real, let's see if you can figure out which one is the one I made up.

Star money. There was once on a time a little girl whose father and mother were dead. And she was so poor that she no longer had any little room to live in or bed to sleep in. And at last she had nothing else, but the clothes she was wearing and a little bit of bread in her hand,

which some charitable soul had given her. She was, however, good and pious, and she was thus forsaken by all the world she went forth into the open country trusting in the good God. Then a poor man met her who said, Ah, give me something to eat, I'm so hungry. She reached him the whole of her piece of bread and said, May God bless it to thy use and went onwards. Then came a child who moaned and said, My head is so cold, give me something to cover it

with. She took off her hood and gave it to him, and when she had walked a little farther, she met another child who had no jacket and was frozen with cold. Then she gave it her own, and a little farther on begged for a frock, and she gave away that also. At length, she got into a forest and it had already become dark. And there came yet another child, and asked for a little shirt, and the good little girl thought to herself,

it is a dark night and no one sees the, thou canst very well, give thy little shirt away, and took it off and gave away that also. And as she so stood and had not one single thing left, suddenly some stars from heaven fell down, and there were nothing else, but hard, smooth pieces of money, and although she had just given single thing left suddenly, some stars from heaven fell down. And there were nothing else, but hard, smooth pieces of money. And although she had just given her little shirt away,

she had a new one, which was of the very finest linen. Then she gathered together the money into this and was rich all the days of her life, the end. What? A nice one. Hmm. She gets well or stuff and makes her richer

than she'd ever been and And she gets totally naked. The real moral of the story. For women, it's that charity will make your richer than hoarding away your wealth ever could. For straight dudes, is it the moralist find a lady who is super kind of nurturing and willing to get naked in the woods and you have hit the fucking lottery. Loose feed and just glad to me. Okay.

And it is really translated as once on a time, not once upon a time. That wasn't my old mush mouth there. Right? So that one seems nice if it's real. Now let's get to a wolf tail. You know, the Grims love the wolf tail. So this is probably real. Let's check out the wolf and the seven young kids.

There was once an old goat who had seven little ones and was as fond of them as ever as ever as any mother was of her children. One day she had to go into the woods and fetch food for them. So she called them all around her. Dear children said she, I am going out into the wood. And while I am gone beyond guard against the wolf, for if he were once to get inside, he would eat you up skin bones and all. The wretch often disguises himself, but he may always be known by his horse voice and his black paws. Dear mother answered the kids, you need not be afraid, we will take good care of ourselves. And the mother bleated goodbye and went on her way with an easy mind.

It was not long before someone came knocking at the house door and crying out, open the door of my dear children, your mother has come back and has brought each of you something. But little kids knew it was the wolf by the horse voice. We will not open the door cried, that you are not our mother. She has a delicate and sweet voice, and your voice is horse, and you must be the wolf. They went off, then went off the wolf to a shop,

and bought the big lump of chalk, and ate it up and made his voice soft. And then he came back knocked at the house door, and cried, open the door, my dear children. Your mother is here, and has brought each of you something. But the wolf had put his black paws against the window and the kid seen his cried out. We will not open the door.

Our mother has no black paws like you. You must be the wolf. The wolf then ran to the baker. Baker, he said he, I am heartened to foot. Praise spread some dough over the place. And when the baker had plastered his feet, he ran to the miller. Miller, he said he, strung me some white meal over my paws. But the miller refused, thinking the

wolf must be meaning harmed to someone. If you don't do it, cried the wolf, I'll eat you up. And the miller was afraid and did as he was told, and that just shows how men are. And now came the rogue, the third time to the door knocked, opened children, cried, he, your dear mother has come home and brought you something from the wood. First, show us your paws, said the kids, so that we may know if you really are mother or not, then he put his paws against the window and whether they saw, and when they saw that they were white, all seemed right and they opened the door. And when he was inside, they saw what's the wolf and they were terrified and they tried to hide one ran under the table.

The second got into bed, the third into the oven, the fourth in the kitchen, the fifth in the cupboard, the sixth under the sink, the seventh in the clockcase. But the wolf found them all and gave them a short shrift. One after another, he swallowed down all but the youngest hit in the clockcase. And so the wolf, having got what he wanted, strolled forth into a green meadow, laid himself down under a sleep or a tree and fell asleep. Not long after the mother goat came back from the wood and all would a sight met her eyes if the door was standing wide open. Table chair and stool was all thrown about. Dishes broken, quilting, pillows torn off the bed. She saw her children. They were nowhere to be found. She called to each of them by name, but no

one answered until the youngest said, Here I am mother. Here in the clockcase. So she helped him out and heard how the wolf had come and eaten all the rest. And you may think she cried for the loss of her dear children. At last in her grief, she wandered out of doors and the youngest kid with her. And when they came into the meadow, they saw the wolf lying under a tree snoring that the branches shook. The mother goat looked at him carefully on all sides. And she noticed how something inside his body was moving and struggling. Dear me, you thought she can be my poor children. He had just devoured for his evening meal meal.

Are they still alive? She sent a little kid back to the house for a pair of shears, needle and thread. Then she cut the wolf's body open. No sooner had she made one snip and came out of the head, one of the kids, then another snip, then another head popped out. And partitioned all six little kids jumped out alive and well. For in his greediness, the rogue had swallowed them down whole. How delightful!

Now, how comfort the dear mother was. She hopped about like a tailor does at a wedding. Now, fetch some good, hard stone, said the mother, and we will fill his body with him, and he lies asleep. So, he fetched some stones and haste, put them inside of the wolf, the mother sowed him up quickly, so he was none the wiser. When the wolf alas to woke, she got up and then stones inside of him made him feel thirsty. And so he went to a brook to get a drink and they struck and rattled against one another.

He cried out, what is this? I feel inside me knocking it hard against my bones. How should such a thing be tied to me? There were kids and now there's stones. He came to the brook and stooped to drink, but the heavy stones weighed him down. So he fell into the water and was drowned. And when the seven little kids saw they came running, the wolf is dead, the wolf is dead. They cried and taking hands, they danced with their mother all about the place, the end.

Okay, it feels legit. Moral of the story, always chew your food. Unless you want some fucking goat lady cutting your stomach open and filling you full of rocks. Also, I think about the story, how nice would it be to sleep that soundly? To sleep so deep that someone could perform major surgery on you and you wouldn't wake up,

which would actually probably be what a curse. No alarm on earth to wake you up if you could sleep that deeply. Maybe another moral, don't try to swim on a full stomach? I don't know, don't go near water on a full stomach, I don't know. Okay, last up. This is the darkest, strangest story of the three. I don't know if it reminds me of the strange feast. The toast, the fork, and the fox. Once on a time, a piece of toast lived with the fox and the forest just outside the castle of a terrible king named Heravold, who had stolen his kingdom many years prior from the true king Bjorn, who had fled with seven

sons and not been seen since. King Heravolt had no sons and one daughter, Adelgard, who was just as wicked as he if not more. He was as cruel as he was ugly, children would cry when he would look at them with his wretched nasty face, and they didn't, he would whip them in their shins with a thick thorny piece of bramble until they did shed tears. He was especially cruel to boys,

worried that one could be one of King Bjorn's seven sons, a child who may someday challenge his throne. Prince Adelgard frightened the children even more. Villagers believed her to be a witch. Whenever someone disappeared, parents would tell their children that Adelgard had taken him and cut them up and cooked them into a stew or boiled them into a potion to be used on some terrible act of magic.

One day, a piece of toast, or the piece of toast, told the Fox that he knew where the true king lived. Nonsense, said the Fox. If you knew where the king was, why didn't you tell me before? It wasn't time, said the toast, we did not have the fork. Nonsense said the fox. We have indeed had a fork this whole time, and he held up a fork that had been sitting next to his plate.

We did not have this fork said the toast, and he produced the shiniest, sturdiest fork the fox had ever seen. Where have you been keeping that fork as the fox? I did not have it yet said the toast. Let me see it close demanded the fox. And the not have it yet, said the toast. Let me see it close, demanded the fox. And the fox leaned forward to look at toast's fork. It was a beautiful fork, heavy and thick. He leaned further and looked closer.

It appeared to be made of pure silver. Silver, he leaned further still and looked closer. Two closed shouted the toast, and he pushed the fork forward straight into Fox's eye. Then he pulled back and plucked it from Fox's head and aided in one bite. My eye yelled Fox, you ate my eye, why did you do it? So you wouldn't see what I had to do next, shout out to the toast, but I can yet see protested the Fox. No, you cannot said toast, and he plucked Fox's other eye out with his fork and aided in one bite.

Fox howled in pain, then toast tossed him into a fire. Fox screamed and was burned alive. When he was good and dead, toast pulled foxes, wretched carcass from the ash and stepped inside his fur. Toast now looked more gruesome, like the most gruesome monster anyone had ever seen, a burnt black eyeless creature. The sky is so toast wander towards the castle, looking so hideous that he arrived at Princess Adelgards, and when he did, she let out a terrible shriek and ran from the castle and out into the woods. When he met the king, King Heravald, said, why toast?

What took you so long to find the fork? Bread does not look hard for forks," said Toast. And then Toast threw the fork to King Heravald, who stabbed it into his own eye and plucked it out and ate it. Thus, and then he plucked his second eye out and ate it just the same. Then he put his fingers into the holes where his eyes once were and pulled off his own skin. Inside of his body was King Bjorn, who had been placed in King Heravald by dark magic from Princess Adelgard, who was indeed a witch. Just then, King Bjorn's seven sons came

racing back into the castle, carrying pieces of the witch whom Toast had scared away. In her fright, she had fallen into a trap, and the Princess had cut her into a hundred pieces. King Bjorn now announced to the village that the witch was dead as was King Heravald and the village rejoiced. A giant fire was made and they began to roast the body of the witch. The king announced they were to have a feast. King Heravald also announced that they would need something else to eat as well, for the witch Adelgar would sure to taste a little foul as witches were not known to be savory.

Someone suggested toast would taste well with the witch and the king took his fork and threw it in pin toast to the ground who died as he said, bread does not look hard for for for for for hard for forks. She'll always find the bread and the villagers cut toast to pieces and ate him up and all rejoiced the end. All right. So what's a weird weird one What's the moral of that story? Careful with your eyes around hungry people with force.

I think, or maybe, I don't know, don't trust a dog in peace of toast or maybe if you are toast, you shouldn't, you know, hang around when a feast is announced. I'm not sure what that story means. But I want you to think about which one was real, which was made up. Do you have an answer in your head? Okay, the last story was made up. Who fell for it?

Who thought that was a brother grim to the toast, the fork, and the fox was complete bullshit that I made up late last night? And it's crazy, but I do, I'm hoping some of you fell for it because I do feel like it's crazy and weird as it was. It does kind of sound like one of the one of the photos that we talked about today. The rest, the other two tales really were part of, you know, the German German folklore. As was all the other stories we

talked about today, did you find all this as interesting as I did? Hope so. I'd love to know where each of these stories originated. Like, what exactly was each story supposed to mean? Maybe maybe some of them weren't supposed to mean anything. Some clearly had moral lessons. Where some just jokes meant to be laughed at. Some were clearly deadly serious. Not always sure exactly what each meant to the ancient people who wrote them and heard them,

but they all meant something. And because the Grimm is collected all of them in such a comprehensive manner, we at least get a little glimpse into the kind of world some of our ancestors lived in. A world of strange and often very dark stories. People loved dark tales. Right. Things haven't changed in that way very much. Have they?

Right. You listen to a podcast right now full of a new, you know, or another strange, often darks to tale, another dark story every week. Kind of cool. Maybe feel kind of less crazy. In a way, kind of like the bizarre mental health disorder suck where, you know, we haven't got darker and weirder. The world isn't going to some crazy, dark place. We're not all going crazy. We're the same meat sacs. We've always been in so many ways.

Time now for today's top five takeaways. Time, suck, top five takeaways. Number one, very glad this suck wasn't loaded with impossible to pronounce German words the entire time. There were a few, but it never went. You know, Nordic Gods, Code Red, certainly not Greek mythology, Code Red. At least I feel like I was sweating less today. Thank you, Grim Brothers folk, lower translators.

Number two, these guys may have written down hundreds of stories, but they went to authors of any of them, important to remember. They didn't create these stories. They didn't save them though. Nice lesson here. You don't have to always create in a traditional sense to be a huge part of an important creative process. You know, just like sometimes takes a village to raise a child.

It took many family members to raise the grims. And oftentimes also takes a village to bring creations to an audience to be enjoyed. Big thank you to all the facilitators out there who helped the creators get their creation seen and heard such important parts of the process. Number three, their seminal work now called Grimisferry Tales has lived on to the 20th and now the end of the 21st century without any sign of slowing down. We've all heard, you know, of so many of the characters they collected Tom Thomb, Puss and Boots, Sleep and Beauty the Frog King, Haunstling Gretel, Little Red Riding Hood, Rumpelstiltskin, Snow White, Cinderella,

Chattara from ThunderCats, Shrek Robocop, Ressarandie Machuill Man Savage. Oh yeah! Okay, okay, maybe not those last four, but the others, you know, and many more. Number four, the work of the brother's grim was filled with sex, murder, incest, violence, and talking animals.

When the brothers learned that children were digging their talking animal tails, John Q, public demanded the edit out some of the sex, but everyone was pretty cool with most of the violence. What's wrong with us? Number five, new info. Let's talk about additional movies that have stemmed from these stories. Tangled was a popular version of Rapunzel, Maleficent with Angelina Jolie. Hope I'm saying that right.

And it's, you know, and sequel Maleficent, Mistress of Evil, Spins on Sleep and Beauty. The movie Pretty Woman with Richard Geer, Julia Roberts, said to have been a modern take on Cinderella. The gerbil that was rumored to have gotten trapped up Richard Geer's ass so long ago, supposedly based on the liver sausage from the strange feast, JK. Snow White got a recent action star reboot with the Huntsman. And then the Huntsman Winters War, fame director Terry Gilliam produced a film on the brother simply called Brothers Grimm in 2005.

There's also Hansel and Gretel Witch Hunters came out in 2013. There are a couple of interesting movies that aren't as obviously based on the Grimm's, but Freeway, a fucked up 1996 Reese Witherspoon and Keith for Sutherland Films, said to be based on Little Red Riding Hood, as is the killer assassin movie Hannah from 2011. The Woodsman, starring Kevin Bacon as a pedophile from 2004, also has its roots in Red Riding Hood. It really does.

There are other films, musicals like Into the Woods from 2014 based on Red Riding Hood and Rapunzel, plus a 2018 animated movie charming that features Cinderella's Sleeping Beauty and Snow White. The 10th Kingdom was an expensive mini-series based on Still in the Rella that came out in 2000 and on and on and on and again, thank you Brothers Grimm for preserving

so many strange tales to continue to entertain us to this day. Time, suck, tough, pride, take away. The brother's grim has been sucked. What a fun addition to the catalog. Sure comes as no surprise for me to say that I love story tellers. Really fun.

I needed a suck like that this week to pep out my spirit a bit after last week. A big thanks to the time suck team. Thanks to Queen of the Suck, Lindsay Cummins, high preces of the suck Harmony Valley Camp, Reverend Dr. Paisley to the time stock team. Thanks to Queen of the Suck, Lindsey Cummins, high pre-season of the Suck Harmony Valley Camp, Reverend Dr. Paisley, the Biddelixer app design crew. They are working on some air messages. I know some of you have been experiencing.

They've been troubleshooting that for the last week. Logan and Kate at Spicy Club, check out the new store, BadMagicMarch.com, and the ScriptKeeper, Zach Flannery. I know he had a blast putting together a lot of this episodes content as well. Check out the, check out the Colt the Curious Private Facebook group if you want to make some new friends over 15,000 meat sacks to meet in there. Also, the time-soaked Discord channel via the Time-soaked app has over 5,000 die-hard suckers being goofy over there. Big thanks to Beefstake for taking care of Discord for us. Thank you, thank you, sir. You're a fine meat sack. And let's talk about how to behave in these places once you make it in.

The cold to the curious private Facebook group is actually going up to over 15,200 people as of Harmony prepping this info last week. Exciting. Our admins, Liz, Ellie, Robbie, Joe, Harmony and Megan do an amazing job of keeping it thriving and active. As we grow, some of us can lose sight of why we are all in this cold and the first place. To be curious, dark, silly, but not to be outright dicks to one another. Right, there's the rest of the internet for that.

There's always going to be keyboard warriors and trolls on the web, but in our own little private area, let's do our best to be upstanding meat sacks and keep this unique community alive. As open as I am with the pennies on the show, I do make an effort not to personally attack members of our own community, of our own tribe, especially not openly and publicly, please do the same. Just like you know, you bite your tongue, sometimes around a family member when you get mad, you know, maybe more than you would a stranger, please at least try to do the same

thing for a cult family member. You know, basically just try not to be an asshole. Also because our admins get a lot of frustrated message about this, specifically if your post doesn't get approved, that doesn't always mean that it did not fit our rules. We get hundreds of posts a day that go through an approval process more all the time. A lot of them are copies of the same meme. Duplicates of things already posted. We just try to limit the amount of duplicates that get posted to keep the page, you know, fun, full of variety.

You know, so get out there, start discussions, make original things, be creative, reach out to fellow members. You'll be a thriving part of the cult. We love so much. It's not personal. If you don't get approved, we're just trying to curate it a little bit, make it, make it fun. Also to everyone who makes it great, thank you so much for being a part of this community that has literally changed lives, become a family for a lot of cult members, hail Nimrod. And again, thanks to Discord, you know, members for creating and playing games there. Thanks for sharing all your thoughts with other Colt folks just like you, looking at you beef steak again. And now an additional word about the Facebook group from our high priestess, Harmony writes, in 2017, I started the Clot of the Curious

Facebook group to be better, to better connect this wonderful cult we have. I've done my best to tend to our meat sacks in this community to bring everyone closer. Now it's 2020 and I'm happy to say it's time to pass the torch. I've contemplated who will be the very best cult leader to take care of you and I would like to announce today I've selected the successor of the Cult of the Curious Group. Welcome the Countess of the Cult, Liz Hernandez.

Yay, Liz! Liz has been the most active and dedicated admin she has carefully and thoughtfully taken care of the cult Liz Hernandez. Yay Liz. Liz has been the most active and dedicated admin. She is carefully and thoughtfully taken care of this cult by my side. Today I'm happy to say she is your new main point of contact. If you have questions, concerns or ideas, she is here to listen. Her team of moderators are also here to make sure this is a safe, supportive and respectful group.

We have the all-seeing eyes of the cult. We have Ellie Darling, Robbie Erickson, Megan Howe, Danny Reign, Jacob Carey, and Juan Carlos from Mirras Darius. Thank you so much for everything. Everyone is contributed to this group, and I can't wait to see how it grows. I will always still be here. I am forever your high priestess. I'm not going anywhere.

I'm going to keep improving everyone's bad magic production experience and evolving with the suck as we continue to grow the more Support we have the better your high priestess hail luciferina. Well, thank you to Harmony Vella camp and all of our admins Yeah, and special things are harmony for starting this very special group and for for tending to it all this time thankful thankful thankful for you all This takes a village to make this make this suck work now Next week on time suck we continue our multi-episode investigation into all things communism.

This time it's an in-depth look at the Cambodian genocide of 1975 to 1979 and its instigator, dictator, Pol Pot. Who jangles already has his hackles up, easy-mojangles. It's 45 years ago, the killing fields of Cambodia produce one of the worst genocide to the 20th century or any century where many, many innocent people suffered immensely under the brutal communist nationalist party known as the Khmer Rouge. Between 1.7 and 2.2 million people, nearly one out of four Cambodians died from starvation,

disease, or from being literally overworked, worked to death. The leader of the Khmer Rouge, a Marxist named Pol Pot, had a Hitler-esque plan to create a Cambodian master race through social engineering. As part of this effort, hundreds of thousands of the educated middle-class Cambodians were tortured and executed in special centers established in the cities. Seems like an odd way to go about creating a superior race to kill the smart people. The most infamous detention center was 12 slang jail and fom fenn were nearly 17,000 men women and children were imprisoned during the regime's four years in power.

Today Cambodia is still healing from Pol Pot and the Camero Roush's reign of destruction. Over the decades, the South Eastern Asian nation has slowly reestablished ties with the world community, although they still face problems like widespread poverty and illiteracy. So join us next week for another terrible example. A little look into another terrible example of how not to treat one another. And now join me to see how we should treat each other in today's Time Sucker updates. First up, a time sucker who wishes to remain anonymous. This time sucker, this fabulous meat sack, Quina the suck, Lindsey a message,

talking about how her brother is a prison, guard at the federal prison in Terahote. I realized I got some messages, I messed up Terahote. I mush-moused it. We're last week's monster, Joseph Duncan, is serving his life sense. And she said that her brother told her that Duncan is getting, quote,

getting what he deserves. I can only imagine that means he is not being treated very well at all. So thank you, anonymous person. Doesn't fix anything he did, but I was happy to hear that. I don't care how vengeful or negative it is to say that or to think, think that I do want him to suffer tremendously. Next up, time, sucker Rodney Holiday just got comments, lot. Let's hear about it.

Rodney writes, Good morning from third shift, Lord of the Suckverse. He who sucks the most. I'm writing today about another possible to dend him to Cummins Law. If there is time for the Time Suck app to fuck up, it will always do it when a coworker is listening and it will turn to the worst possible suck. Here's what happened. I had to have a coworker a man to take over at the machine I was running and I was listening to the King Arthur suck compared to the others. It's fairly tame and I don't listen to the worst ones at work. I came back a half-hour

later and the app had switched to the Albert fish suck for no reason but to taught me. Damn you, Lucaphina. Luckily, Amanda didn't get all pissed off about it and said she just ignored it. Phew. Crisis averted this time. Luckily the team on third is awesome. And that's my friend Michael and myself listen to our time sucked no matter the content. If you could, could you please make a give a shout out to unintentional listener Amanda, intentional listener Michael and my oldest daughter,

Arya, give me a pronunciation guy, thank you. Who is an avid listener as well. Thanks for your time, what you do. Time sucker, future future space those are Rodney Well, thank you third shift Rodney holy shit that you get lucky Thanks Amanda for not losing your shit pun intended when I talked about piping hot peanut butter showbiz That's how they do it on thought shift Thanks Michael and Arya

for listening intentionally and yeah, I appreciate all of you and for spreadness doc And now a declassified military document update from a super sucker Elizabeth Nanya, whose family was personally affected, it seems by some shady dealings Uncle Sam Delt out that we talked about. Elizabeth writes, hello master sucker, listing the declassified documents episode.

I was glad you mentioned the events in St. Louis during 1953, 1954. My grandma had given birth to her oldest daughter, in 1952, and was pregnant with her second child in 1954. 42 days before the second child was born, their oldest daughter became inexplicably sick. My grandma was from a family of six, helped raise her younger siblings. When her daughter broke out in a horrible rash,

and her temperature spiked, my grandma immediately took her daughter to the hospital. At the hospital, they tried dropping my aunt's temperature with an ice bath, put her on medical watch. Because my grandma was pregnant, the doctor advised she had back home to rest over the next two days. My aunt's treatment and what caused her to die was never explained fully to my grandma or grandpa.

My grandma was a very religious woman, 40 days before the birth of her second child. Her first child died. She said, her and my grandfather viewed those 40 days as of morning and prayer on the 40th day of morning, my other aunt was born. My grandma said after the birth of her second child, she had to put aside the death of her first child and completely changed how she formed relationships

with her children. She went on to have 12 more kids, wow, 10 of which are still living. But she was never as affectionate with the other children as she was with her first. There's too hard for her. It was decades later she found out about the chemicals that were dispersed in St. Louis. She attributed those chemicals to killing her daughter. I never gave him much thought, never looked it up to confirm it.

I've been thinking a lot about my grandma in her life over the last few months as she passed during the Thanksgiving holiday. Last few years, I have not been close to her, but I've been recalling things she told me when I was in my late teens and early 20s when I lived close to her. I've since moved out of state. Anyways, well, I'm not some anti-government person nor do I think there's a conspiracy on every corner. Hearing you confirm my grandma's story, what happened in the 50s makes me wonder if that's

what really did happen to my aunt, keep sucking Elizabeth G. Yeah, Elizabeth, I mean, it is possible. You know, there's a lot of evidence that shows that the people in St. Louis and the city, and particularly, you know, minority communities, were subjected to military testing. It was part of a larger, radiological weapons testing project. Operation LAC, you know, is what it's called, if you remember, you know, LAC. Now, you know, most of the literature does say it was 1957 and 1958. So that timeline's a little later, but the government hasn't totally disclosed that when people

are looking into it. So it's possible they were doing it for years prior, very possible. So could your aunt have been affected by it? Yeah, absolutely. Possibly. I'm not some anti-government conspiracy now either, but that suck did remind me that we should always be at least somewhat skeptical of people in power, because do come out where they have been, you know, fucking with their own citizens. I'm sorry about your aunt.

Thanks for sending that in. Next message coming from camp counselor and kick ass meat sack Nathan Peppler with a great inspirational message for summer camps regarding summer camps. Nathan writes, Hey, there's Suck Master. I just finished listening to the Girl Scout murders episode. It has been one of the most impactful episodes yet for me. I myself was a summer camp camper when I was younger, and I've been working at camps since I was old enough.

I can attest to how preposterous it is to expect counselors to get up and do a full sweep after a kid possibly hear something. I know that there have been numerous times. I just told kids to go back to bed. Having a stranger come into camp and possibly heard a camper under my car is one of my biggest fears, but like you said at the end of the suck, camps have numerous safety procedures

now in place. All of our staff have to undergo numerous background checks and extensive training, and with the events of the past few years, we now have safeguards and procedures in place to deal with an active shooter scenario. The counselors were in no way responsible for what happened, but I can only imagine how guilty they might feel. Summer camp is like a family. I care so much about my fellow counselors and my campers,

and I would be devastated if something would happen. The thought of something like this happening is scary, but should in no way discourage people from sending their kids to camp. Going to summer camp changes lives, and I wouldn't be the man I am today without going to camp. On another note, I have heard this story before, but I didn't know it was real. Since before I started working at my camp, it has

been used as kind of a ghost story to scare new counselors. The names were changed and stuff was changed to make it sound like it had happened in a neighboring camp. I never thought it was real, and hearing on the suck blew my mind. Thank you to you, the Queen of the Suck and the rest of the team for all that you do. I absolutely love the suck. I haven't found a bad episode yet. I hope to make it to a stand-up show this year. Well, thank you, the Queen of the Suck, and the rest of the team for all that you do. I absolutely love the suck. I haven't found a bad episode yet. I hope to make it to a standup show this year. Well, thank you for the kind words Nathan, and thanks for promoting summer camps.

I never got to go to a summer camp, but I wish I would have. My kids have gone, and they've had a great time. It's been great, very positive experiences for both of them. A good camp can be an amazing and rewarding experience for a kid. Thank you for helping parents rest a little easier

after hearing that suck. And you know, and keeping an awesome, loving, and protective camp leader, you son of a bitch. One last message, also about the Girl Scout Murders, a little bit longer, some very interesting insight from an awesome anonymous eternity. Yes, I like a littleeration. This attorney writes, dear sucks quad.

I've been listening to the sucks since you did a cross-promotion with the fantasy footballers podcast several years ago, but have never written in. However lately I felt compelled to share some things in the suck that have really spoken to me and evoked some feelings in my hardest, feeling in my, hardest of hearts based on my experience. It began in the Girl Scout murder's episode when you mentioned how the prosecutor and attorney had gotten a book deal before the case everyone to trial, I was enraged. I have been a prosecutor attorney for going on 15 years. You named the crime, I prosecuted it.

From the smallest of offenses when I first started to rape cases all the way up to capital murder cases, anyone who is in this job for the money or to turn that money into a favor fortune is doing it wrong. Our victims must come before ourselves. Later in the top five takeaways of that episode, you mentioned victims' parents working to create a victim's bill of rights. Victim witnessed coordinating center and the Oklahoma chapter of Parents of Murder, Murdered Children.

This really harkened back to my own experiences. I am constantly amazed by the resilient nature of meat sacks. For a little bit of context, I live in a city with a high crime rate. At any given time, I've assigned to me a dozen or so homicide cases. I'm constantly in contact with victims' families. I work closely with victim witness coordinators. I see members of my local chapter

of parents of murdered children attending court dates with current victims' families. I have seen a rape victim stand up in open court and give the bird to the asshole who thought he had killed her as he was led away after being sentenced to 70 years in prison. Man, hail fucking Nimrod holy shit. You have seen some intense human moments. Oh, man. That's this guy and I do it.

This is a guy. He did send his first name and just asked me, I didn't use it. And this man continues, I didn't go a week without seeing a spot come on to one of our local TV stations with the wife of a man who was killed trying to sell something on Craigslist. She is standing there strongly in the face of her immense loss, holding her husband's picture, saying,

help declare victory over violence. These cases I have worked leave an emotional mark. It is one that I must remind myself at times not to forget. A prosecutor with enough experience on the job will know implicitly that the first allegiance of a good prosecutor is to the truth. Finding out what the truth is about a particular case and then deciding what the right thing to do is based upon that truth. The truth will guide you into doing what is right.

The confession killers are an extreme example, but people do lie about crime. They more often lie in the other direction. They know or saw something but won't say. We first have to figure out what the truth is. That allegiance to the truth can make our relationship with victims and the family's a complicated one. We cannot blindly follow their wishes. Maybe the truth about a case means you have to take it to trial even though you expect

to lose, but you can't work out a plea that is for enough time. The truth about your case and ability to prove it might also mean that you have to plea it to a less time than a victim's family wants or is deserved for the crime. Go to trial and lose, see a piece of shit walk free while putting the victim in their family through a horrible ordeal or plea it to what you can get. Be willing to lose, but not blindly. That is a line we have to walk. And then this anonymous listener tells me a story, I can't share about someone wanting more punishment for someone that they thought deserved it. Someone who didn't deserve it was an accidental death, but they wanted them to be punished more because they were hurting. And he writes, acting on a motion can lead us astray. So we have to do our

best to be pragmatic and detached about the case. That doesn't mean we have to be pragmatic and detached with our victims and families though. When I heard you say that one of the parents of a victim in the Girl Scout murders felt like a piece of the furniture, it broke my heart a little. I never want a victim or their family that I work with to feel that way and I pray to Nimrod they never will. That little snippet from the suck was a good reminder to always be engaged with the victims' family despite the emotional toll it may take. I strive to keep victims and their families up to date on everything with their case. I want to be honest with them about the case,

even when the truth isn't easy to give them. All this leads me to mention compassion fatigue. The words of that victim's father are feeling like a piece of the furniture reminding me to be vigilant about this problem. Compassion fatigue is a condition that can cause people who are constantly exposed to trauma, disasters, and illness to gradually feel less compassion over time.

It is prevalent in attorneys, especially prosecutors, healthcare workers, and a variety of other professions. You see so much horrible shit that you start to become desensitized. I have seen far too many great prosecutors become burnout because it all became just too much. For myself, I just prefer to talk about all of the horrible shit I see. I get it out in the open, I try it like hell, not to let it hold any power over me.

Then when a victim's mom is crying over the lost child, I remember to always offer my shoulder to cry on. I let the rage build up when I'm about to cross examine some asshole, and then I let that motherfucker feel that rage as I make him look stupid. That said, I definitely realized that I too have become desensitized to so many things. Maybe being desensitized to so much darkness is why I like time so much. I usually don't like so much true crime, especially things like making a murderer, which I understand left out key piece of evidence, haven't watched it for that reason. However, you deliver true crime in a thorough way. You do so with

humor, interspersed, that makes even my hardened heart enjoy letting in a little more darkness. Thanks for that. Finally, another time, Stalker recently wrote in about their experience on jury duty. As Dan has mentioned a number of times, there are so many wacky doodles out there that a wild dire, or as it is known to non-pretentious assholes, jury selection, is extremely important. If this happens to be an update and a young prosecutor happens to be listening

for fuck's sake, make jury selection a priority. It takes one bad juror to tank a good case. The best prosecutors I know are exceptional at snuffing out the crazies and jury selection and even they can't always get it right. For all we know, the guy that got in Dan's face at the Ventura Starbucks may somehow get jury duty. Sorry for the long message, fucking lawyers love to talk.

Thanks for all you do. Keep on sucking, anonymous. Wow, thank you so much for that inside perspective. I love it, love it, love it. Please if you're listening, if you're an expert in one of the things that we've talked about and you know, you can enlighten us, reveal an inside perspective, please do so. We get a lot of messages sometimes You know great ones do get missed but we try our best to feature your views

I only spend a few days on each of these topics some of you have spent entire careers on them So you know, so learn me some shit learn us all some stuff love this community love learning with you guys So special anonymous. Thank you for fighting all the heaviness digging deep to give each you know Family the care and compassion they deserve when going through one of the darkest hours of their lives. Love you, dude. Hail Nimnad. That's it.

Thanks, time suckers. I need a net. We all did. Have a great weekend, everyone. Keep an eye out for a crazy talking blood sausages and keep on sucking. And then the little boy, right as he was about to fall asleep and his father was stroking his hair, the devil himself came into his room and killed both of them, took them to hell, but their mommy was, and then

just tortured them, and stuck them with forks, and ate their fucking eyeballs out of their heads. The end. Love you.