Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 19 - Flat Earth Theory F*ckery

Episode Date: January 23, 2017

Welcome to a Flat Earth Society edition of Timesuck! Think the Earth is a floating disc being propelled upwards by something you can't define? Think gravity is a myth? Do you have no respect for science in general and/or empirical evidence? Well, then I hope you have a thick skin because I take a big factual dump all over your silly beliefs. Find out why your world only makes sense when it's round in this chock-full of mockery episode of Timesuck!

Before early 15th and 16th century naval explorers like Christopher Columbus and Ferdinand Magellan could get sailors to agree to join them on their expeditions, they had to first convince them that they weren't going to just literally sail off the edge of the earth. Because in the era before satellite photos, NASA and widespread formal scientific education, a lot of people were super duper dumb and very superstitious. A lot of ding-dongs. In addition to just falling out into space or hell or wherever they thought they might end up,

sailors were also genuinely worried about monsters like the Kraken. An ancient sea creature took a mile in length that could grab hold of your ship and pull it down to the murky depths of the sea, crushing and eating everyone on boarder, just letting you drown, I guess. Either way, bad outcome.

Ancient sea monsters, time suck, all to themselves. These sailors worried about dragons overhead, they worried about sirens, luring them into crashing into the rocks. All kinds of crazy shit because not everyone had cameras on their phones and it was harder to prove that no one had ever seen any of this stuff in real life. And all these creatures in their brains lived on a flat planet. But even in ancient times, the thinkers of their day believed the Earth was not flat. Pythagoras thought the Earth was most likely spherical way back in the 6th century BC.

Way before smartphones. Way before the internet. Way before cameras. Way before sailors circum, way before cameras, way before sailors, uh, circumventing the globe. Aristotle by all accounts, a pretty clever guy, his name strongly associated with intellectualism to this day, he first theorized the earth was round back in Greece in the fourth century BC. Uh, Aristotle was played as prize student and the quote mind of the school. And he observed, quote, there are stars seen in Egypt and Cyprus, which are not seen

in the Northern legions. And since this could only happen on a curved surface, he too, believed Earth was a sphere of, quote, no great size, for otherwise, the effect of so slight a change of place would not be quickly apparent." Makes sense. Very logical assumption. And being another logical dude, at least in seafaring ways, Christopher Columbus thought Aristotle came CREACT. And then in 1519, another logical, not-a-cull-explore, Ferdinand Magellan, also believed in Aristotle, took off with the crew of over 200 men to be the first man to sail around the world. He made it from Spain to South America, sailed down the eastern coast of the Pacific, reaching Guam and then the Philippines.

Had a little problem there. You know, Magellan showed how arrogant and ignorant even educated men of his day could be. Tried to spear, or I'm sorry, tried to convert some locals to Christianity through brute force and died by the spear. That's where the spear came in. I knew there was a spear in there somewhere. Man, what a way to go. I can spear. You don't hear a lot about spear deaths anymore.

You know, not a lot of eulogies today starting before he was speared. My father was a good man. Ted was a great accountant before he was brutally speared in the open field outside his house. It countenance before he was brutally speared in the open field outside his house. Samantha was a wonderful mother. She cared for her two kids very, very much. What she didn't care for was the spear that sailed over her fence and pinned her to the ground. Well, alright. Even after the leader was speared, Magellan's crew sailed on.

And they bleed enough in a round earth to keep sailing west. They sailed west to Africa, sailed west around the southern Cape of Good Hope, sailed north up the coast, the western coast of Africa, past the Canary Islands, and then in 1522, three years after leaving, 18 of those original 200 surviving sailors made it back home. And they were the very first men to have circumnavigated the globe. And from that day forward, scholars and soon the common educated person knew that the world was round. There was no way around that pun kind of intended. You can't continually sail west on a flat plane and end up back where you start it. If you don't understand that basic scientific principle,

you know, I'm not trying to lose listeners, but this isn't the fucking podcast for you. If you're like, uh-uh, you just keep going in one direction. Eventually, you just get back where you started. Flat. I don't care. Yeah. Flat. You just dry down. It can be flat forever, but eventually you run into a reset portal that puts you back, but it has to be round. You know, you just sail off the edge. It was flat. No one's done that. No one sailed off the edge.

And yet despite that journey of Magellan all the way back, despite playing circumnavigating the globe on a daily basis for fucking decades now despite satellites Watching the earth spin in real time. I have seen YouTube videos You know put together like a slideshow of the earth satellite photos showing it spinning around big ol' globe A number of people still have reverted back to believing that the earth is flat Who are these people? Paranoid, anti-intellectual, hilarious dipshits.

It's time to mock them. It's time to mock those who mock objective, scientific facts. Time for a flat earth society edition of Time Suck. Welcome to the show, everybody. First things first, Spencer Riley. On Facebook, thank you for suggesting this topic. As did a few other time suckers over the past few months. Thank all of you. The more people who suggested topic, the more likely I am to jump on

that one right away, scoot that one up to the top of the line. And before I dive into this flat earth nonsense, little housekeeping, thank you guys so, so much for the wonderful reviews that have been pouring in on iTunes. It really is blown me away. Man, you know, you work on all these projects as a creative person. You never know what's going to resonate with anybody else. I had high hopes for this podcast, but I also was, you know, realistic that, you know, maybe maybe a hundred people would be listing or, you know, worst case of you one, worst case of the way. If I just kept getting a new email from like some dude named like Frank and Oklahoma City, you know, that'd be harder to justify to the family to spend the crazy amount of time I spent on these, which I love, by the way, named like Frank and Oklahoma City. You know, that'd be harder to justify to the family

to spend the crazy amount of time I spent on these, which I love by the way. If I was like, no, no, no, sorry, sorry, I can't go to dinner, everybody. No, no, no, can't go sledding with the kids. I gotta, I gotta send a new episode of Frank. Frank's been waiting. Well, I got more than Frank and I'm very excited about it.

Makes me excited when I see those reviews and excitement flows back with more passionate episodes. You're getting the word out and I love it. And I owe all to you guys. Time sucks just showed up and some freaking, I don't know podcast chart. I don't know a lot about podcasts. I'm not gonna lie to you.

But I'm glad that you guys probably know more than me. And I'm glad you do. Because I'm not part of a network. I don't know Joe Rogan or Mark Marin or the mom's house. Your mom's house, you know, those guys, I'm not a guest in any of that stuff. I just have a weird interest that you guys all seem interested in.

I love it. So, you know, I got a couple of Pandora ads and I got your word of mouth. So, that has been fantastic. And again, if you hadn't heard before, if you're a new listener, every hundred reviews on iTunes, I give a bonus episode.

And we did the last bonus episode on Robert the Doll, crazy haunted doll. If you believe in things being haunted, the next one, I'm gonna tease the exact premise of the next one. The next bonus episode, when we reached 200 and we're almost halfway there already, alien abduction extravaganza.

A lot of people have been writing it about, and by the way, I'm getting like 10, 15 messages a day for topics, I fucking love it. Alien abduction's been coming up a lot lately people have been writing it about, and by the way, I'm getting like 10, 15 messages a day for topics, I fucking love it. Alien abduction's been coming up a lot lately, Roswell, so I wanna give that one some time, some TLC, some attention, X-Files, used to be my favorite show of all time. Let's get into some fucking alien shit.

Let's get into some nefarious secret government agencies and maybe talk about some anal probing who knows So once that hits a 200 views bam that Friday alien time And if you want to know how to get topics to me you can you can like other people have been doing you can email me admin at time suck podcast.com You can find me on Instagram. That's where I kind of let you know what things are coming up before they actually come out. That's the best. It's easiest. Instagram is at Dan Cummins' comedy.

But if you don't like Instagram, I repost the Instagram pics on Facebook, which is Dan Cummins' comedy and Twitter, which is D underscore Cummins. Which I had just Dan Cummins for all that, but there's other me's out there that we're fucking. Quick to the draw. Got some quick draws out there getting in on shit

so can't compete with that And and I want to really quick be the last thing, you know before we jump into the flat earth Greg cruts sent me a nice email The kind of just brought some stuff to my attention that I already felt in my gut And this I'm gonna read the email first before I address it He says I'm into these podcasts. They're gripping. I have a thought about the dumbing down one. Don't you think some of the anti-intellectually

and anti-intellectuality going on can be blamed on how dumb intellectuals have been over the last hundred years? I'm talking about modern art, horrible fraud, Freud, once I'm universally embraced by intellectuals now, it is credited communism, the go-to political system, for lots of bright educated people, and many more silly ideas In other words, if the high IQ team embraces stupid ideas how shocked can we be if the low IQ team are knuckleheads

First off, thanks Greg. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. It's an interesting take and I'm glad and I did want to dress I won't keep talking about it after this but that last that Episode again because I felt like I came a little heavy-handed, I didn't like it, and there is more to that issue than just, it's just easy to be like, well, what can't look dumb people try to learn harder? It's far more complicated than that, which I know I got into a little bit, but I have sympathy for the plight of the economically disadvantaged, I know it's harder for them to learn, especially when like you said, Greg, smart people are given the right fucking information.

I do think that, quote unquote, facts are constantly changing. A natural consequence for the masses then is to lose faith in what the quote unquote lead or academics or intellectuals are telling them is true. If the truth changes enough times, people just start thinking, yeah, right, whatever, when new facts are thrown at them.

I also think academics get a little too heavy handed about what the truth is to the point that it leaves many with a bad taste or mouth when it comes to learning in general. And that's exactly what I want to avoid in this podcast. That's actually so excited that this is goofy and silly, but I try my best to stay absolutely factual and as objective as I possibly can be as a human being. And I love that when I see more and more people listening, it means I'm not alone. There are more and more people listening, it means I'm not alone. There are more and more people interested in learning, and that's great because I wish our schools had more teachers and professors who were just passionate.

I've seen some great teachers with my kids. I've seen somewhere I'm like, oh, fuck, I would have hated that teacher as a kid. Boring shit. Out of all the teachers and professors I had, maybe two or three were actually riveting lecturers. A lot of them just, you know, casually, throughout dry facts and expect you to learn them, fuck that. That's all I love about this fucking podcast, man.

I am passionate about this shit. I love learning about new stuff. I learned so much from you guys. Most of these topics now, you know, your suggestions, I wouldn't have learned about this shit. I wouldn't have really dove into the flat earth society, but I'm glad I did because it actually made me learn about how our universe really works. You know, it's fucking great. I got stopped saying, I got stopped saying fuck all the time too.

You know, anyway, I'm not gonna get in my head. Just thank you. Let's get curious to everyone. Let's stay curious. And oh, just quick thing. People have been asking about how to get episodes offline. Very easy. iTunes has a podcast app or all the other platforms, including the Apple phone, has a Stitcher podcast app.

If you have that app, you can download any of these episodes and listen to them at your leisure. I love, I'm sorry, I'm blanking on your name, but the person who wrote it asking me most recently is a student and basically said he wanted to listen to him at your leisure. I love, I'm sorry, I'm blanking on your name, but the person who wrote it, asking me most recently is a student, and basically said he wanted to listen to him. I'm supposed to be doing his homework. And maybe part of me is dad would be like, I don't think he should do that,

but you know what, you're probably gonna learn more from this shit. So do it. And he was worried about the school Wi-Fi not letting my podcast through, which I can see that. Fucking man, trying to hold me down. All right, all right. Now let's make fun of some people who've chosen to believe

some super ignorant shit, flat earth theorist. I first heard about this theory, maybe six months ago, I was working with a woman on a show. I'm not gonna specify, because I don't want to hurt her feelings. I actually don't want this to get back to her because it will be the point. But at the same time, I got to disclose this to you because it's so related to today's topic. She believed, and I imagine still believes in the flatter theory.

I can't even say that without laughing. It's so nonsensical. Lizard Illuminati, she believed in military installations on Mars. If I didn't have, if I wouldn't have had to work with her all the time, I would have dug deep around this. But I was afraid she would, she was smart enough to know that I would be mocking her and that could get really awkward.

But I'll never forget the time when the Mars thing came up, when there was something in the news about like, oh, everyone's swallowing Mars, they get that picture and they're like, oh, it looks like a face, it looks like a human, looks, you know, is it, is there a person on Mars? And it's always in some tabloidy, you know, bullshitty, like websites. It's never, it's never like the BBC is like definitive proof of people on Mars. It's like star magazine.fucking nonsense. You know, but uh, but when I was laughing about that,

she didn't think it was funny and she's like, oh no, oh, she got real serious. She's like, there's there's people in Mars for years. There's been military bases on Mars. I mean, they're up there. They're up there. And I love it with this kind of person. I noticed that generally when you ask, why are they up there? That's when they get real vague.

I don't know. They're just doing some stuff. I never know. But she is a conspiracy nut. She went down the rabbit hole too far and now everything is a conspiracy. Everything's up for grabs that should be just obvious truths. Well, it's just a weird mental space to reside in.

I've actually met a lot of conspiracy theorists in my life being from the Pacific Northwest, which seems to have a high percentage of them compared to other parts of the country. And I've noticed that none of them have the title doctor in the front of the name. I just want to throw that out there, too. I'm sure there are some conspiracy nuts who

are called doctors, but I doubt their doctor isn't a medical field or like astrophysics I'm thinking it's more like the online pseudo university arena like they have a doctorate in fucking crystal meditation from new age International University real place Right Okay, I'm gonna give you my money. That's that's ah if you if you have student loans from new age international university Congratulations, you're one of the dumbest people on earth. Okay, so, I can never take them too seriously.

I can never take anybody too seriously. Once they start referencing like tarot cards or astrology or auras, I guess one thing if you're kind of interested in that stuff. I'll say that. But it's another, if like you're legitimately worried about somebody because their aura is a little too turquoisey for your comfort. Now you're fucking nut. Now you just jumped into nut land. And if you do believe in that silly shit, you may just believe in flat Earth theory as well. Might really be your people. And before I explain what flat Earth theory is believed regarding how the solar system works,

let me let me throw some truth at you initially. So we can show how ludicrous it is by comparing to what reality is. Let's explain how things actually are, so you can see how idiotic these people are, how much energy they're wasting on the most nonsensical theory. Like other kids who went to school

as opposed to being taught at home by maniac or raised in some kind of cult or like a compound. Here's what I always taught about sources. There's the earth and there's eight other planets. I'm still counting Pluto as a planet. For that number, scientists can argue over the semantics, you know, whether it's a planet or a court, quote, dwarf planet until the end of time, no one gives a shit, but

all nine of these spheres, they do all agree to their spheres, revolve around another sphere, the biggest sphere, which is the sun. And these planets are pulled into rotation of the sun by the sun's powerful gravitational force without gravity, the magnetic force that all physical mass possesses, the bigger the mass, the stronger the pull, eventually all these planets would just kind of, you know, just disperse and wander off out into space. But since the sun's mass comprises about 99%

of the total mass of our solar system, that big yellow sun of a bitch keeps us in check, you know? And if we're thinking about, you know, doing a little exploring on our own, a little meanderer, and off, he's like, oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, you fucking start circling my friend. I'm the goddamn son.

I'm raw, and you will circle around me. Okay, without it, there will be nothing to keep the other, you know, the planets on their elliptical paths. And then there is another force. There's inertia. A inertia defined is the property of matter by which it continues. And it's existing state of rest or uniform motion in a straight line unless that state is changed by an external force.

That external force will be gravity. But inertia keeps the planets from just like falling into the sun. So basically inertia is like what allows baseball players to tee off in a fastball. They can predict where the ball is going to travel based on the angle it was initially thrown. They know the ball will keep moving in that straight line if it's a fastball. Let's not get into curve balls here yet. That's a whole other some scientific stuff with the spin of the ball. But you know, it's going to travel in a preset line because of inertia. It's like,'s like, you know, it's, it's, it's how we

can send satellites way out into space too, you know, without a gravity bending them around. Since there's no resistance, there's no atmosphere. Once you give them like a push, once you thrust them out into space, they just keep on going. And if they don't have any directional thrusters, they're just going to keep moving that straight line in theory for infinity until they just, you know, if I can get taken out by an asteroid or something, they'll just keep on going. So you get the right balance of inertia and gravity with the planets and you get revolution.

So you got, you know, inertia wanting the planets to kind of like shoot off into space, but then you got the sun going, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, get back here and then that kind of like bends it back around and then it just ends up doing this perpetual motion. You know, with no atmosphere to slow these planets down, they just spin and spin and spin.

And they've been spinning in the same rotations for millions and millions and millions of years. Okay, so that is, and that's also why moons revolve around planets. You know, like we are basically in a way What the Sun is to the earth the earth is to the moon in some sense They're they're caught in our gravitational, you know pull and that's why they rotate around us now If you don't understand what the fuck I'm talking about and if I'm not explaining it that well, which I may not be, I have never claimed to be the smartest person out there.

I think I'm more curious than I am intelligent. Don't even worry about it. Just know, know this, know that everyone, literally everyone at NASA, who has ever helped successfully launch anything into fucking space also agrees with me. Okay, and so, you got these round planets rotating around the sun once a year. We define each calendar year by one full revolution around the sun and contrary to what a lot of

people believe the revolution has nothing to do with the seasons. That's what I believed. Until I did this research again, I forgot. It's not winter when the earth is a little farther from the sun, and the sun went closer. That's what I've been thinking about the last decade. I got it all jumbled up. And my pea brain seasons are actually determined by Earth's tilted rotation as it's spinning.

So let me explain that. So like picture like a grade school science fair presentation of the solar system, with the sun in the middle and a planet and rings around that. All these planets circle in the sun. Well, as they're circling, they're also spinning. They're rotating.

Our planet rotates 365 times a year once each calendar day as it spins around the sun. When it rotates so that wherever you are on the planet, you're facing away from the sun, it's nighty night time. And when your chunk of Earth faces the sun, it's get up in the morning! Stay time. Pretty straightforward. So that day and night works. That's how it works, you know. It's also why if you were to fly West fast enough or never ran out of fuel, you'd never experience night. You continually be on the sun facing side of the earth, or you'd never experience day if you were doing that at night. That's why we have time zones arranged. So as you travel east or west, they're following the earth's rotation and then the seasons.

Now here's how they work. Summer and winter are determined by the earth's tilt, because the earth's axis is not straight up and down in relation to the sun. It's a flatter, better term, it's slowly wobbling. And wobbles, so for a time, the northern hemisphere of the planet is tilted. It's leaned in towards the sun, such as August, and because of being leaned in, the northern hemisphere gets more direct exposure to the sun's rays, heating things up, bringing out bikinis, baking up a little summer. Meanwhile, the Southern Hemisphere, getting less of the sun's rays, which is why they experienced winter

in August. And on two days a year, the first day of spring, the first day of fall, shines equally on both halves. That's the equinox. And again, this is shit that all reputable climatologists, environmental scientists, astrophysicists, etc. agree on it. Shit that lines up with mine calendars all the way all the way, back to hundreds of years, back way various cultures have arranged their seasonal calendars for thousands of years. This is not disputed science. If scientists were wrong about this,

kind of was talking about earlier about how some, the elite tell us facts and they change their mind. This has been like Freud, and we're gonna, in 50 years, we're like, oh, we had it all wrong. No, no, no. This, everything is, all of our calendars and everything have been based on this for a long time.

For a reason, it works. Right? And it only works if the fucking earth is round. It only works if Earth is a ball. Okay. So that's how our solar system works as best as I can explain it short amount of time. Fuck that.

In a long amount of time. That's the best I can explain in a period. Never gonna be a professor of solar assistance, which is not a thing I know that as I say that. Okay, so here's flat or a theory. So despite everything I've told you, there are numerous people in the world that just think that, nope, it's just flat. And the main argument for the Earth being flat seems to be their naked eye. To the people who believe in flat Earth, they're just like, yeah, well, it looks flat.

The view of the horizon is like a big argument point. If the world is round, they say, well, why can't I see the curve in the horizon? To which I think, how do you not understand how big this fucking ball is? It's roughly 25,000 miles around. You get morons? 24,901 miles to be exact. The slope is going to be extremely gradual. The limitations of human abilities

wouldn't allow you to see the curve with a naked eye. Think about 25,000 miles. If you drove 70 miles an hour across a magical road that followed the equator, circumvented the globe, you'd have to drive for over 355 straight hours to make it back where you started. Over two weeks straight, 24 hours a day, never slowing down, never stopping to pay. And why don't you, you know, and it like, it's going to be very gradual. And why don't you just climb a tall building on a clear day and just look at the horizon

with the telescope. If the earth was truly flat, that's what I think. If you're actually truly flat, you could go on the roof of the tallest building in Manhattan, look east with a high-powered telescope and just check out what the royal guards are up to in the tower London. That would work on a flat earth because you're just looking straight at fucking cross the ocean, but it doesn't because it's not flat. Here's what flat earth theorists believe further.

Not all of them agree, but the basic concept, they believe that the earth is a disc, like picture of Frisbee with the North Pole being the center of the Frisbee and the outer edge of the Frisbee being Antarctica. In the disc version of Earth, Antarctica encircles the rest of the planet. Even better, at the very outer edge of the Antarctica,

the very edge of the Earth's disc, much like a raised crust of a pie, they think there's a giant ice wall, 150 feet tall. Members of the flat Earth's society, the largest organized group of believers, have also claimed that NASA has a security force guarding this ice wall, so that explorers don't climb over and fall in the space.

Ha ha! Grown fucking people! Oh my god, able to build websites and write articles believe this shit, unreal. Really? You just think there's a ice wall around the entire earth that NASA is guarding. Why would they do that? Why would they protect the Earth's rim? What are they gaining in perpetuating some myth

of around Earth? Oh my God, they also believe that NASA photos of space have all been photoshopped. They think astronauts have been bribed, Glenn, all of our astronauts, they all bribed. All Armstrong bribed. They're just bribed to corroborate the fake pictures. And again, why would they do that?

Well, the Flatter Society believers think for one to perpetuate the myth of the moon landing. We didn't want to appear weak as a nation during the time during the arms race, the Cold War, we wanted to appear superior to Russia and so we had to act like we could get up into space and they all came up with this Photoshopped Hollywood nonsense. And also our government wants to hide the truth of the Bible. You know that heaven is above us, hell below. They don't want us to believe that.

No, that doesn't work for whatever their agenda is, I guess. So they want us to just be a disc. And why are they doing this? Because all that space exploration money that we're given to NASA and all these other government agencies around the world. It's actually been funneled into Nafaria, shit, other kind of experiments and kind of 1984 or Wellian plans to kind of hold us down. It's all the big ruse, all that Antarctica money. Mm-hmm.

Maybe that's what they're hiding. Maybe, you know, and I think some of the flat earth leaders believe that. They believe that there's like all these natural resources in Antarctica and all this great stuff down there. And they don't want us to find it. Uh-uh. They don't want us to find all those fucking diamond mines and oil fields hiding out there in the ice. They're keeping that to themselves,

you know, to spend on their NASA parties or whatever they're doing. Okay, so how does day and night work for the flat earth society? Essentially, it doesn't for them. They think the sun rotates in a circle above the disc. You know, there's a little circle, sun floating around the Frisbee up above it.

Kind of like a needle floating up on a record, on a vinyl record player. If you're under it, you get the light. If you're under where the needle is on the disc, you get light if you're not, it's dark. And seasons, well, sometimes the sun circles around farther above, like a wider ring, and higher, making it colder. Sometimes it comes down closer.

It makes it hotter. Basically, for the flat-out people, there's just some god up there, kind of doing like yo-yo, walk the dog kind of tricks with his son, yo-yo. I guess it's the best way I can explain it. It's fucking nonsense. All right, so this is all from their website that I'm reading from right now, actually, the flat-earth-society.org.

If you wanna check this stuff out, what about satellites? You know, we use for TV and photos. All fake, they say, all fake. How convenient, it's all fake. That next question, what about that important question? Is it ask me, fake. Next question. What about that important question? Ask me fake. Next question. What about other planets? The moon stars we see. Well, in addition to the Sun, circle and above us, flat earth theorists believe that the moon and other planets are also

circling above us. Bunch of yo-yos, kind of spitting around, like a baby mobile above our flat crib of an earth. And all these things are spheres. We're the only one that's flat. The North Star is in the middle of space above us, and all the other stars just kind of rotate around the star. Just little lights rotating around us. I don't know if you fucking know how to explain it more than that,

because these stupid assholes literally just made up all this shit. It's the most ridiculous theory. Alright, also some flat earth theorists also believe that this frisbee were on is constantly moving upward through space. It gets even better. And that's their explanation for gravity. Like, why, how will I help others, you know,

what about gravity? Some people will say, they're like, well, we're in a disc and the disc is just kind of floating up. And the faster it floats up, the more it kind of pushes us down onto the frisbee. Huh? And what is pushing up this disc, though? The faster it floats up, the more it pushes us down onto the Frisbee. And what is pushing up this disc, though? Some kind of unexplained dark energy. I noticed that a lot was a flat-edged society.

They're just like, ah, it's come, why, how does that work? It's a dark energy. Next question. They don't really get deep on this stuff. There's a specific rebuttal of gravity is one of my favorite parts of the Flatter Society website. Answering the question on their website, quote, what is gravity? They say, quote, gravity as a theory is false. Objects simply

fall. That's that's the explanation. Where you go? Guys, we don't need to talk about gravity. Shit falls. Check this out. watch me drop this apple did it fall or did it not fall Yeah, it fell boom flat earth. I rest my fucking case That's what a fundamental place to be if you can't explain something just don't Don't let not knowing something screw up your argument. Just just stay the course and Believe whatever you've decided you you have to believe and just keep moving. You know, I believe in the Loch Ness Monster's real. How do you explain how sonar and radar can't find this creature in a lake?

You know many have tried for decades. Cause it's real. Ha ha, it's real. Have you ever seen it? No, but it's still real. Hey, they drain the lake. There's nothing there. Ah, it's hiding in space now.

It's a space monster. It's real. Yeah, man, you just can't convince people of some things no matter how much logic you throw, you throw at them. And who are these people? I wondered like, who are these flat Earth society people? Well, the modern flat Earth society actually dates back to the early 1800s. It was founded by Samuel Burley Robotham.

What an English name. He was an English inventor. He wrote the book, Zetetic ZETIC, Zetetic Astronomy, Earth Not A Globe. Okay, I'm sure that was a real hit. I'm sure he sold a couple copies to family. He and his followers believed that the Earth is a flat disk centered at the North Pole with boundaries at its edges made of enormous wall of ice So he was the one who came up with that part with the Sun moon stars and planets a few hundred miles above us in the sky and

And I guess I supposedly his views were largely based on some literal interpretation of some biblical passages in Genesis so okay And then the idea loses a little steam as it should have and it would never really caught on huge You know maybe a hundred or so people were gonna do it and But then it was resurrected by Samuel Shenton, a British signwriter, not a scientist in the early 20th century. Again, not a scholar, a guy who made signs for businesses, you know, a man who in his 20s would claim to have invented a plane that would hover stationary above the ground,

because you know, the earth is flat and there's no gravity. No one ever saw this plane. A lunatic. I think it's fair to call Samuel Shelton a complete fucking lunatic. A man who based a new view of the solar system, again, on biblical interpretations. Not even gonna dig into that. I don't want to be turned this into another Christian bashing thing, but can we please evolve past basing science on scripture?

Can we stop it? You know, last week, man, so I'm talking about Manson basing science on scripture. Can we stop it? You know, last week, man, so I'm talking about Manson, basing his crazy health or skilter stuff on interpretations. Now, this fuckhead's basing his flat earth on some interpretations. Ah, I mean, remember that time that the dude based a theory on biblical interpretation and then a theory became accepted as fact? Do you remember that? No, because it never happened. Okay, so this nut, he got

the society going. There are others who believed him. Others had flat earth notions as well, in different parts of the globe. In the 19th century, 20th century, if you remember in the John Adams, President Adams, a mole people episode, there was also a theory that the earth was hollow. With creatures living inside the various disks that line the interior, kind of like an apple with a core taken out. Holy shit, there's been a lot of weird ideas. Okay, so now today though, we have Daniel Shenton, no relation to Samuel, just two dummies with the last name of Shenton.

This guy's American, living in Hong Kong now who tweets stuff like, quote, if anyone ever tells you the earth is in flat, just say quote, Kansas and walk away. All right, making solid arguments like a s like a, sassy 12 year old girl. Well, well done.

Well done, Daniel. Not sure where education level he's attained because he and the other two leaders of the flat earth movement don't list their bios on their website. Of course, they don't. He probably works at fucking Hong Kong tour guide or lives on a trust fund. Makes, you know, maybe teachers English

is a secondary language, you know, maybe like me has a bullshit liberal arts degree. None of these fucks are legit scientists. I googled what scientists support flat earth theory. Nothing comes up. And you might think, Dan, well, you're not a scientist either. No, I'm not. But I'm educated and after respect the education of others,

I have enough basic intelligence and humility to understand there are people a lot smarter than me in the world in various fields including astronomy. And I think I have a pretty good bullshit detector. One of the driving monitors of my life has always been question the source. Don't accept a status quo, you know? Be curious, question things.

So on one hand, I kind of get where these conspiracy heads come from. They don't want to accept something just because someone's told him it's true, but they've taken that notion way too far. Continually question everything and you're just gonna go insane. And if you're gonna present an alternative view on something that's presented as fact,

make sure you've thought it through, have an argument, back it up with some kind of evidence, not pseudo-intellectual half-baked cracker jack ideas. I believe the Earth is round because of the enormous visual evidence because the scientific explanation of our solar system makes sense to me. It passes the bullshit test. It explains the stars and the sky, seasons, days, nights, air, and naval circumnavigation, space exploration, etc. And I accept it as the best possible current explanation for everything because thousands of scientists and professors from every nation

in the world, all the people who have thoroughly studied the subject agree. The only people who don't are nuts. That alone should make you believe if you're rational. But some people are rational. Oh, and I love those people. I do love talking about them. I love the entertainment value of them. Two of the most well-known believers in the bull in this flat out stuff in the past few years, very entertaining. It's the hip hop artist, B-O-B, and Tila Tequila. You may remember her from MySpace, if you're over the age of 18.

So let's get into B-O-B. One of the most famous proponents of the flat Earth theory. Real name Bobby Ray Simmons Jr. He's been very successful at music despite being uneducated enough to believe in a Flat Earth. This is a guy who's been nominated for multiple Grammys. Collaborated with Bruno Mars, Big Boy from Outcast, on and on and on. And you might wonder how could someone

so successful believe in something so idiotic? I for one, long ago, stopped believing in any correlation between intellectual curiosity and or academic intelligence with financial or commercial success. A lot of dumb rich people out there who have the right type of talent and drive to make a lot of money but no very little about the world around them. B.O.B. is one of these people. He was so musically gifted he was able to land a record deal in the ninth grade.

God damn it was your head that kind of talent. However, because he was making a lot of money he also dropped out of school in the ninth grade. God damn I wish I had that kind of talent. However, because he was making a lot of money, he also dropped out of school in the ninth grade. Do you know what you hear what I'm saying? His formal education stopped at junior high and he believes he was flat because he's terribly uneducated. So, you know, thousands upon thousands of incredibly well-educated scientists on one side, hip-hop artists with junior high education on the other. Also on his side, Tila Tequila, another flat-earth promoter. If you're a guy, you may remember, let me just say it jerk enough to her steamy pictures on MySpace back in 2006, when she had 1.5 million friends. She parlyed that into some kind of disgusting MTV reality shows,

some shitty music she made, clothing line, etc. She made a lot of money. And then MySpace went away, and the internet porn became huge business, and no one made a lot of money. And then my space went away and the internet porn became huge business and no one cared about Tila anymore. And then she went into porn with vivid, releasing, I'm not making this title up. Backdoor and squirting. Oh, wow. You know, I'm pretty sexually open person,

but it's like, I don't know if I'd want that in my resume. You know, if you want to do some backdoor stuff, man, have fun with it. And you know, if you want to do some backstories stuff, man, have fun with it. And if you want to make porn, if that's your thing, fine. But backdoor and squirting, can you come up with a little better title? Doesn't have to be so just course. Okay, also, she went crazy in 2016, aligned herself with the National Poly and National Policy Institute,

a white nationalist, Reed neo-Nazi organization based in Arlington, Virginia. She posted a picture of her, I've seen this picture, dressed like a Nazi standing in front of Oswits. She tweeted, women who complained about Trump saying, grab her by the pussy are retards, because I love getting grabbed by the pussy. L- bio once read, alt-right queen, literally Hitler.

That's a quote. All of this made that much weirder by the fact that she's fucking Vietnamese. How's that work? I guess even white supremacists make exceptions for hot Asians who are end-to-anel sex. I don't know. But think about that kind of person.

Think about that kind of person that is Vietnamese, but also a neo-Nazi white supremacist. Oh man, she- Oh my god. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. 2016, this genius went on some Twitter rants about Flat Earth and here are some of her best tweets. Here's the first one. 2016, and nobody's been able to prove, oh by the way, nobody's is spelled N-O-B-O-D-Y-S.

She forgot that when you plural, it lies that word, it's is spelled N-O-B-O-D-Y-S. She forgot that when you plural lies that word, it's I-E-S, I just wanted to point it out. 2016 and nobody's been able to prove to me that the earth is round. Where is the curvature in the horizon? Hashtag flat earth, prove me wrong, dammit. Okay, here's a response for me on that.

What the fuck do you expect to see? The earth is curving downward. There is no scenario possible for you to actually see the curve fading away from you dumb shit. There's another tweet of hers. I love them. Why are all the buildings in New York City standing straight up? If the earth was round, then some of the buildings would have a slight tilt. Hashtag flat earth. Oh if the earth was round, then some of the buildings would have a slight tilt, hashtag flat earth. Oh, fucking, wow. How tiny of a ball do you think the world is?

You can only see the buildings tilt if the earth was like 100 miles around, not 25,000. I guess you were taking too busy taking selfies in geometry class to fucking gain a proper understanding of ratios and circumference. Oh my God, here's another one. If the earth was a spinning globe, then how come airplanes can still land without crashing? Because the face of the earth is flat, not a globe.

Tila de Kila January 7th, 2016. Response, this idiot seems to think the world is approximately the size of an actual fucking globe. Why couldn't you land a plane on a slightly curved surface? How fast do you think it's going to be spinning? I feel like in her mind, if she thinks the Earth is round, she's trying to picture like a paper airplane landed on a basketball. Oh my God. Here's another tweet.

This one in all caps for extra emphasis. Extra emphasis. I mean, you believe it just because At NASA tells you so and takes fake CGI space picks question mark LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO We shouldn't believe NASA. We should trust a woman who is only famous for taking pictures of herself in bikini and saying and doing incredibly stupid shit. Oh my God, here's my favorite one. No, because the outer edges of the flat earth what has huge eyescaps all around it, so no one can escape. That's an all caps too.

That's my favorite part of that, so no one can escape. What the fuck do you think people are trying to escape to? Does she believe we've been lied to about space that we're being trapped here because there's a better plane of existence outside of the ice wall, like we could just walk over and there's nothing but fucking cotton candy

and hamburgers and blow jobs. Is that what's lying on the other side of the ice wall? Well, what the hell? These people I feel like they're the adult equivalents of that idiot kid from grade school who just mindlessly disagreed with everything you said. Just, you know, man, it's cold outside. No, it's not.

But no, it is, it's like 20 degrees. No, it's not, my mom said it's not. I always play with that basketball first. Nah, may work. No, no, mm-mm. What is that bigger than you? So you can't, you know, you can't be like, dude, come on, dude, stop just fucking disagreeing to be a dick.

And you just push it down. No, I'm not. So why do they believe it? Why do they believe the stuff? Flat earthers believe the round earth theory is a conspiracy and who gains from it? The Illuminati basically. Like I said, I alluded to earlier,

all the money supposedly going into space exploration really just goes into the pockets of the alumni. Everything we've ever learned about space is all a lie to keep that NASA money flown into their evil greedy hands. And how did it all start? Because we didn't want to be embarrassed in front of Russia. You know? And we just got to keep it up now because apparently we're still fighting the cold war. None of this makes sense. I can't emphasize this enough. Why can't they come up with an easier conspiracy? Something that looks less work to keep going.

Why can NASA work with a flat earth? Well, we can't research space, you know? If it's to the side of us, instead of above us, that doesn't make any sense. Like, couldn't NASA exist in some other form? I don't know. I don't know. All I do know is this time for some top five takeaways.

Time, suck, top five takeaways. Number one, the Earth's tilt determines the seasons, not our distance from the sun. I've forgotten how that works. Explains why it's always winter somewhere. Thank you, scientists. I feel better now. Number two, in hours and hours of research I came across as zero. Let me repeat. Zero.

Actual scientists who report, who support, flat earth society. There are three leaders of the flat earth society listed on their website. President Daniel Shelton, Vice President Michael Wilmore, and Secretary John Davis, and not a word, is written about the education level or scientific background of one of them because it's obviously unimpressive. They do have a podcast that has four episodes in 2012, and that's it. Gets them they said all they're was to save a flat earth

because they just don't fucking know anything. When asked what is under our disc, they literally said at one point, we don't know. Awesome, great job, guys. You should join the lizard illuminati researchers if you haven't already. Number three, rapper B-O-B released a diss track making fun of Neil deGrasse Tyson

for trying to teach him that the world is indeed round. Neil deGrasse Tyson has a physics degree from Harvard and astronomy degree from the University of Texas and a PhD in astrophysics from Columbia University. The B-O-B dropped out of high school in ninth grade and tweet stuff like, quote, wins the future ever what you think it'll be. I'll rest my case.

Number four, NASA employees are guarding the ice wall that keeps us from falling into space. That's my favorite part, follow this. What a fucking shitty job that would be. And how many bases must they have to house all these soldiers? I mean, think about that. If the Earth is a disc, not a globe, and a wall of ice surrounds the entire edge,

that means the ice wall is well over 25,000 miles around. It has to be for all of Earth to fit inside it. I mean, if there's a conference of the globe is almost 25,000 miles, and then you flatten out this big ball, it's got to be what? 35,000, 45,000 miles around. I'm sure there's an equation to figure that out. And if it's sub zero on that edge,

you got to have bases every couple of miles, or the NASA guys are going to freeze the death. So let's say it's 35,000 miles around, with a base for the dudes to kind of warm up every five miles. That means NASA has 7,000 bases guarding the ice wall. They gotta work in shifts, at least five guys per base to make that work. Now you got 35,000 ice wall guards. Then you gotta have transport personnel to get them to their various bases, mechanics,

cooks, supervisors, making sure they're staying fed and keeping warm. We're talking at least 50,000 employees for the most bare bones, kind of ice wall guarding administration and infrastructure. If the average salary is 50,000 a year, you're talking 2.5 billion annual budget just for personal. I'm talking just people. Equipment costs are going to be off the charts to keep shit freezing constantly. You got the maintenance.

Easily three times a person, if not much more. I think we're looking at minimum 10 billion a year just to keep the ice wall, you maintenance, easily three times a personnel budget, if not much more. I think we're looking at minimum 10 billion a year, just to keep the ice wall, you know, guarded. I guess that's why we can't balance the budget. We're throwing all of our goddamn money to the ice wall. Number five, tealate tequila's ill-deserved fame. It's fading into history, just as Shirley is the flat earth theory, will also fade away again.

I hope. She went from 1.5 million MySpace friends to having her Twitter account suspended for Neonati propaganda to having a new Twitter account with even less followers than I have. She's a Vietnamese Neonati. Let me say that again. She's a Vietnamese Neonati. One more time. She is a Vietnamese Neonati.

That's a special kind of stupid. Time suck. Top 5 Take Away. Neo-Nazi, that's a special kind of stupid. Time suck, tough, right, take away. So everything I read about superstitious beliefs, and always your mind is the same lesson. Education is important, good education, critical thinking, hard science. And of course, you know, that religion does make people believe in some crazy shit. Of course it does.

Whenever you open your mind to the possibility of fervently believing in stuff that makes no logical sense that you have to have faith to believe, you are also opening your mind to literal insanity. Believe in an ancient religion? Okay, why not believe in lizard people too? It's not as big a jump for you. Why not believe the earth is a frisbee, rise into space, it's a solar system

magically rotates above it. If I can, why not, man, maybe bigfoot's under there, push, maybe there's a million bigfoot's, push it it up. Why not believe in leprechauns and crampus and gargoyles and unicorns and all kinds of other silly shit? You know what, actually, you probably have a lot more fun. I kind of wish I could do that. I'm not joking, not being sarcastic.

I bet life would be more fun if you just thought it was that magical. So I don't know, maybe keep believing it. Believe it's flat, I don't know. Me, I wanna die with my eyes open. I want to die feeling like I had a better handle on the truth. You know, I just want to kid myself about where I am, who I am, you know, what's going to happen.

Maybe that sucks. I don't know, adults who believe this stuff, I think, are just a grown version, like I said before, of that annoying kid from grade school, just a, no, no, no, no. Never been able to tolerate that kind of person. Some people just can't be reason with you. No Ron White said it best, you can't fix stupid

one of my favorite quotes of all time. Well, I believe in doing the very best I can to try to get to the truth about every subject I can. I appreciate you guys taking with me on that little plane of curiosity. And thank you again, man. Thanks for the downloads, the reviews. Let's just keep taking this experiment

and making the curiosity bigger and better, see what we can all learn, keeps it in my topics, I appreciate it. And last time, let's just recap. One last time before I wrap this up, before I hit stop, who believes in a round earth and who believes in a flat earth?

On the round team team in this corner, on the round team, we have Aristotle, Einstein, Stephen Hawking, Copernicus, Isaac Newton, Neil deGrasse Tyson, fucking everyone at NASA, everyone at every other country is version of NASA, everyone who has a genius IQ and telescope, everyone who's ever attended Harvard, guessing on those last two, but I feel strongly that I'm right. On the flat earth team in the opposite corner, we have Tila Tequila. We have B-O-B, which another fun little bit of trivia stands for fucking nothing. Do you hear what I'm saying? It's an acronym that stands for nothing.

Dude's name is Bobby, aka Bob, B-O-B stands for Bob. Ha ha! In addition, together we have the flat earth society.org, and we have a former co-worker of mine, a woman who dropped out of college, who believes in flat earth,.org. And we have a former co-worker of mine, a woman who dropped out of college, who believes in flat earth, military bases on Mars, American slavery, American slavery not being real. That's true. She's only slavery deny I've ever met. Don't understand how she got there, but she believes that slavery never happened. So believe what you want, but the experts seem to be piled up a little on the round side. So have a great week, everybody. I'm going to watch a YouTube video of the Earth rotating,

made up from satellite photos taken in 1990 and marvel at NASA's Photoshop skills and just, you know, just wizardry in making this believe what's obviously not true. And if I'm wrong and you find out yourself at the Earth's Outer Cross, you make it out there and you realize I'm wrong. I hope you make it past the NASA SWAT team.

I really do. I hope you climb that ice wall. I swear I really do. I'm rooting for you. Climb that ice wall. Take a few picks of the Earth's Edge on the other side. Take a few little picks of it dropping off into space. Do that and send it to me and I swear.

I promise you, on my life, I swear on my life, I will take a picture of me, shoving the picture that you sent me up my own ass, and I'll send that picture back to you. And I'm gonna leave you with that image. [♪ Music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing, music playing Oh!