Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 222 - General Butt Naked

Episode Date: December 14, 2020

General Butt Naked aka Joshua Blahyi is a complicated figure. He is now a Liberian Christian missionary helping victims or Liberia's first civil war rebuild their lives. In the early 90s, he was one of Liberia's most brutal warlords. While literally naked, and often while wielding a machete, he led an army of coked-up, brainwashed child soldiers into committing almost unimaginable atrocities. He committed child sacrifices and regularly engaged in cannibalism. And there were others nearly as brutal as he was. Liberia in the 90s was basically hell on earth. It was a nation of sexual abuse and murder and corruption and chaos. How did things get so bad? Today we learn how Liberia was formed and how decades of oppression led to two incredible bloody civil wars. For our donation this month, we raised/donated over $41,000 for the Bad Magic Productions Giving Tree, and have bought eighty Cult of the Curious families presents for Christmas. Hail Nimrod and thank you! Watch the Suck on YouTube: https://youtu.be/Y0F2maI7-nQ Merch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions/problems: [e-mail] (copy and paste) Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast Wanna become a Space Lizard? We're over 10,000 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.

General but naked aka Joshua Blie aka just one of the many many warlords that would form child armies and battle for power during the tumultuous and bloody first Liberian Civil War which lasted from 1989 to 1997. During the 90s most of Liberia was controlled by numerous and incredibly violent rival militias. In the bush they battle for control of diamond mines and gold mines in Minrovia they fought gun battles in the streets. Some of these warring factions were led by or at least assisted by brutal warriors and warlords who adopted outlandish names like Chuck Norris, one-foot devil, General Mosquito, his nemesis General Mosquito spray, not kidding. And of course there was General Buttonaked, perhaps the most brutal of all the warlords. Buttonaked was active for about three years and he led several dozen soldiers, the naked

gmandoes who fought mostly in Manrovia, sometimes more than several dozen soldiers. Many of his soldiers were children, child soldiers fed a steady diet of cocaine and American action movies, kids forced to kill kill and also eat other kids. Today's story is so, so crazy. Liberia in the 90s was so crazy. General but naked said he had a vision when he was 11 years old where he was told by a tribal god that he would become a great warrior and that he should practice human sacrifice and cannibalism to increase his power and become impossible to kill.

And he seems to have taken this vision very seriously. Or maybe he made it up to try and rationalize and justify all the atrocities he committed to others. About 10 years after his first major vision, Bly claimed to have experienced another vision, a divine Christian vision that transformed him from a mass murderer into a man of God. And ever since that event, he's committed his life to trying to write the wrongs he made in the past. But is it genuine? Is he really a man of God or is he just a con man doing whatever he feels he needs to do in order to thrive in an extremely difficult place for someone with almost no formal education to even just survive?

During times of war, he became a warlord. During times of peace, he's become a man of God. Something about it feels very convenient. General but naked is a complicated man. And Liberia is a complicated nation. And we explore the man, the country he comes from, and so much more on today's war-mongering, death-defying eye-op opening, so much insane shit packed into one edition of TimeSuck. This is Michael McDonald and you're listening to TimeSuck, you're listening to TimeSuck. Happy Monday, meat sacks. Welcome to the Coat of the Cur the curious work can wait for this one. Hail Nimrod, Hail Luciferina, praiseable jangles and glory be to triple M. I'm Dan Cummins,

Suck Nasty, Optimus Suck, Suck Norris, and you are listening to Time Suck. And how do you feel about skipping announcements today and just getting right into so much show? All in favor say Hail Nimrod. Okay, all right, let's do it Holy shit, I got sucked in hard to the topic this week Let's head to Liberia on the west coast of Africa to suck a civil war two of them in fact The founding of a nation and the life of a brutal warlord who once went by the name of general butt naked a man who claimed that fighting naked made him immune To bullets of General Buttnaked, a man who claimed that fighting naked made him immune to bullets. Pretty sure that's not totally true, but maybe kind of true.

I mean, seeing a wild-eyed naked dude carrying a machine gun or a machete, running at you in some urban war zone, I mean, that might give a lot of people pause, throw the shot off. Before we get to know Mr. Buttnaked, we first will familiarize ourselves with Liberia, where our story takes place, an extremely unique and fascinating and oftentimes completely horrific African nation, a nation that has been a living hell for far too many of its people to live in. Then we'll look at Liberia's culture of warlords, how they operate, how the concept of warlords

is not unique to Africa. It's a worldwide phenomenon. Before we then examine the interesting spiritual beliefs that gave Bly, you know, his beliefs that pushed him towards human sacrifice, the beliefs are true. That's a whole thing we'll look into as well. Then we'll jump into this week's time suck timeline following libraries to civil wars. Both were fought in the past 30 years and will also follow Joshua Blie's life and get to know some other brutal military leaders. I hope you find all of this is interesting as I do. Yeah, yeah, let's do it.

This week's information is going to take us across the world to a continent we don't visit nearly as often as we probably should here on the suck and Arctic. Kitty, we're visiting Africa, of course. We don't visit Antarctica very often and we never will. It's a frozen, barren wasteland, and I don't care enough about penguins or seals to talk about them for over two hours. We don't visit Africa enough.

Lots of good stories in Africa, loads of interesting people in history. Specifically today, as I said, we're heading to Liberia, smaller African nation, along the Connitz West Atlantic coast, just south of Sierra Leone, just north of the Ivory coast. Liberia is perhaps the most unique nation on the entire continent in terms of its modern origin story. It's the only black state in Africa never to have been subjected to colonial rule, and it's also Africa's oldest republic. And the troubled nation, yes,

such a strange origin, such strange beginnings. A Liberia was established on land acquired for freed U.S. slaves by the American Colonization Society, which founded a colony at Cape Mezorado in 1822. This Cape was located where the capital city of Minrovia sits today. The society, the ACS, also known as the Society

for the Colonization of Free People of Color of America, was founded in 1816 in Washington, DC by one Robert Finley. A Princeton grad, Finley was a Presbyterian minister who worked as a pastor for two decades in Basque and Ridge, New Jersey, also teaching a boys academy before becoming the president of the University of Georgia shortly before his death in 1817. And Finley founded along with Samuel John Mills, a congressional minister from Connecticut and a Christian missionary, the ACS in order to relocate free American blacks to a colony

in West Africa. The society quickly gained support from some abolitionists and also from most slaveholders for very different reasons. Some white abolitionists truly seem to have noble intentions when it came to African colonization. They believe that African Americans do to both slavery and the South and discrimination in the North would never find the happiness, freedom and fulfillment in America that they could find in their own new nation in West Africa. Other much less noble Americans in the North and slaveholders in the South just wanted

free black Americans to get the fuck out. They feared them. They were worried that if the left, if left their own devices in America, they might lead slavery rebellions and revolts, or they would want equal rights to vote and own their own land, or heaven forbid, black men might want to romantically pursue white women the horror. Oh my heck. This notion of the racially motivated exportation of free black people to Africa was actually not a new idea. America took a page out of the playbook of its own former colonial masters, the British for this one.

In 1787, Britain had founded the colony of free town in Sierra Leone. They sent the Black poor of London there. The organization that led relocation efforts was called the Committee for the relief of the Black poor. Only 38 initial settlers were originally shipped off. A few years later in 1792, 1100 former American slaves living in then British controlled Nova Scotia tired of both the weather and racial discrimination sailed in 15 ships to free town. Then in 1815 Paul Cuffee, a successful American Quaker ship owner and activist based in Boston finance taking 38 American free blacks to head to free town as well. He's the man who laid the foundation for the American colonization, colonization society.

And until 1961 Sierra Leone would be a British colony. Despite similar beginnings, Liberia's settlement history very different than Sierra Leones. It was never really a colony of the US. It's referred to that in a lot of videos online and some articles, but not accurate in my opinion. It received some grant money from the US to get started, but it was never a proper colony.

More of an experiment really run by the ACS, not really ran by the United States. The initial American settlement was named Christopolis in 1822, then in 1824, the colony around Christopolis was named Liberia as in Liberty, and the initial settlement was renamed to Menrovia, renamed from Christopolis to Minrovia, a renamed from Christophe List to Minrovia,

after James Minro, the president of the US at the time, who was a big supporter of this colony. Minro was all about sending free black slaves and ex-Caribbean slaves to Liberia. He saw this as a preferable option to emancipation. So kind of fucked up that the city is named after him, that it's still named after him. It's named after a guy who did not want to have freed African slaves living in America. He wanted to ship them out away from the states and back across the Atlantic.

You know, just this, uh, thanks for all the help and building our economy and making our nation strong enough to never have to worry about being brought to heal by the British, my black brothers and sisters. Now, with all due respect, please get the fuck out. In addition to Monroe, other early presidents, Thomas Jefferson and James Madison, big supporters of the ACS. Madison was actually the American colonization society's president in the early 1830s. You know who were not big supporters of the ACS and being shipped off to Africa, almost all African Americans, at least not freed American black citizens, almost none of them very

excited about this plan. Famed abolitionist Frederick Douglass commenting on colonization plans, summed up African American sentiment at the time saying shame upon the guilty wretches that dare propose and all that continents such a proposition, we live here, have lived here, have a right to live here, and mean to live here. Many African Americans viewed colonization as a means of defrauding them of rights of citizenship and a way of tightening the grip of Southern slavery. But faced with dire economic and social prospects, continually diminished by racial discrimination in America, a way many of them would go anyways.

Over 2,600 freed American slaves would settle in Liberia in the first decade of its colonization, perhaps as many as 5,000, and life for them not easy. The swampy land was rife with malaria. The local natives not overjoyed to see them show up. No local tribal leaders were interested in the settlement and armed conflicts were common in the early years. But the new settlers were able to consistently fight off attacks. By 1843, 4,571 African Americans at least had settled in Liberia in Manrovia.

Four years later, on July 26, 1847,-Liberian settlers, as they become known, took control of the colony over from the ACS. They declared themselves independent from the society and from the US. They modeled their flag after the US flag. They modeled their system of government and their constitution after the US and they were a new, internationally recognized nation.

And they quickly consolidated power and would proceed to dominate the nation for 133 years. Another 168 settlers would arrive during the US Civil War and almost 2,500 more in the first five years following the Civil War. All in all, somewhere between 12 and 13,000 black settlers would arrive in Liberia from America in those colonization years. And the way these settlers, these freed slaves,

integrated with local tribes was pretty fucked up. The American Liberian settlers were from the beginning, essentially American, rather than African, an outlook and orientation. They retained preferences for Western modes of dress, Southern plantation style homes, American food, Christianity, the English language, and monogamous kinship practices.

The settlers held land individually in contrast to the communal ownership of the African population, and their political institutions, again, modeled on the US. They had an elected president, a legislature made up of a Senate and House representatives, a Supreme Court. They seldom intermarried with indigenous Africans and tried to influence the interior inhabitants primarily through evangelism and trade. And all this makes sense to me. I mean, these settlers were American.

American culture is what they knew. Here's the fucked up part. These freed slaves from America treated the locals much like their former slave owners had treated them. Racism reproduced itself in the minds of the oppressed and they became the oppressors. The former victims became the victimizers. The American Liberians saw the natives

the way whites had seen them. Once the American Liberians were rulers, they sadly mimicked white American rule in the worst of ways. They justified their exploitation of the natives on the basis of cultural inferiority, just as whites use racism to justify slavery. In America, race trumped all other considerations, and in Liberia, culture now trumped race as the classification of inferiority. In a very interesting book about all of this, slaves to racism, an unbroken chain from America to Liberia,

the authors, sociologists and anthropologists, Benjamin Dennis and Anita Dennis refer to the way America, Liberians behaved as an imitation of superiority. Many America, Liberians mimicked and retained the culture of the antebellum south because they derived their cultural superiority from it. Ironically, they replicated what they despised, oppression and discrimination based on inferiority. Natives were disparaged and ridiculed as country people. The American Liberians set up all the Jim Crow laws of the American South in Liberia. How fucking crazy

is that? The instituted social segregation in the capital city of Manrovia and elsewhere. Most of the American Liberians did live in Manrovia. Among other things, natives could not enter through the front doors of American librarian businesses. They couldn't vote. They couldn't even speak unless spoken to, unless they wanted to risk punishment. There were sexual restrictions. No native man could marry or have any type of sexual relationship with an American librarian. Woman, many over the next 100 years or so would be put to work as forced laborers,

as slaves really by the American librarians. Even when natives became educated, they were restricted from almost all government positions, only a token few allowed to participate at all for over a century of rule. And decades of this type of discrimination and oppression would lead to the bloody civil wars of recent decades. It would lead to the bloody civil wars of recent decades. It would lead to the rise of ruthless warlords like General Buttnaked. Fascinating, right? Think about this led me to examining these psychological factors that create a cycle of abuse, right, where the abused becomes the abuser. Not all victims of abuse will go on to abuse others,

but studies do suggest that about a third will, pretty high number. And studies have shown that certain factors have been found to worsen the long-term impact of abuse and make it more difficult to break the chain, including abuse that started early in life, abuse that lasted a long time, abuse in which the perpetrator had a close relationship to the victim, abuse that the child experienced as particularly harmful, and abuse that occurred with an equaled familial environment. So when you have all these factors, it seems like, you know, more than a third of people who've experienced this are going to go from abuse to Abuser. Now think about these factors in the context of American plantation slavery.

Life for a plantation slave, particularly someone born into it, nothing but abuse. Force labor and beatings. Abuse that started early in life, check, start it from birth. Abuse that lasted a long time, check. Never ended, there was no protection from it. Abuse in which the perpetrator had a close relationship to the victim, check. The abuser owned the victim, pretty close relationship.

Abuse a child experience that was particularly harmful, big check, beaten with whips, rapes, super harmful. Abuse that occurred within a cold, familial environment, check, having your entire family owned by people who think you are intellectually and morally inferior, people who see you as less than human, pretty fucking cold. Your owners were your family in many ways,

and they were cold as fuck. Based on all of this, I can see how it was pretty easy psychologically speaking for far more than a third of the former slaves shifting into a role akin to slave owner. That was the world they knew. I want to fucked up world, they would recreate in Liberia. Now that I've broken down how Liberia was settled and by whom and how the seeds for so much modern strife were sown, let's learn some of the basics about the lay of the land. Liberia is composed primarily of four different geographical regions, starting with the coastal

plains. These plains are about 350 miles long, extend up to about 25 miles inland. They're low and sandy, with miles of beaches interspersed, with bar and closed lagoon, mangrove swamps, and a few rocky prometories, the highest being Cape Mount, about a thousand feet high in the northwest. Parallel to the coastal plains is a region of rolling hills, some 20 miles wide, with an average maximum elevation of about 300 feet. None of the hills rise more than about 500 feet in elevation.

Behind the rolling hills, most of the country's interior is a dissected plateau with scattered low mountains ranging from 600 to 1,000 feet, a few over 2,000 feet to the tallest being mountain imba, which is nearly 6,000 feet. And then there is the rainforest. Mybeary's rainforest used to be full of animals like monkeys, chimpanzees, small antelopes, pygmy hippopotamuses and ant eaters.

However, many of these animals along with the already threatened elephants, shorthorn buffalo called bush cows and leopards, hunted greatly during the civil war for food and their populations, greatly diminished and now currently recovering from endangered levels. Excuse me, there are also many reptiles, including three types of crocodiles and at least eight different types of poisonous snakes, including, this is intense, the world's only flying snake,

the winged bush cobra, this shit is insane. Not super big, they never reach more than about five feet length, but similar to the parachute-like membrane that stretches from the wrist to the ankle of the flying squirrel. They have this membrane that lies on the outside of their scales, on either side of their bodies where their lungs are, and they can basically inflate this membrane and create these two little wings. Like the flying squirrel, they don't really fly. They glide,

they glide from trees down to the ground, unlike the squirrel, which glides from one tree to another. They glide from trees that are surprisingly fast at climbing or fucking terrifying, and that's how they attack. They slither up to the upper branches of a mangrove tree. They'll be 20, 30 feet up in the air. And then they silently glide down. They can glide up to over 100 feet away from the tree. And they're prey typically never hears or sees them coming.

And they kill an estimated 200 people a year in Liberia alone. They're extremely venomous. They're also found in over five other African nations. And the venom from a winged bush cobra before it kills you, it will make you hallucinate, vivid hallucinations. It can make you hallucinate so hard you will actually believe that all the bullshit I just made up about the winged bush cobra is true. Get the fuck out of here.

Snakes don't fly. Come on. They don't fly. They don't glide. Thank God. Be a monster. Be terrible to have to worry about flying fucking snakes out in the jungle Back to reality. I need to break it up for a second. The climate especially on the coast is warm and humid year round Dominated by a dry season from November to April and by rainy season from May to October

I'm still thinking about the flying bush the winged bush cobra rainy season from May to October. I'm still thinking about the flying bush, the winged bush cobra. I'm a picture of somebody who stopped listening to the episode right before I said get out of here and they're telling a bunch of people right now. Like, have you fucking heard of this fucking flying snake?

Yeah, Liberia, is it fucking flying cobra? The climate anyway, warm and humid year round dominated by dry season from November to April, rainy season from May to October. In Manrovia, the temperature varies between 74 and 88 degrees Fahrenheit. You're around, rarely dipping below 70 or rising above 91. Sounds ideal. It's one of the few ideal things about Liberia. The Liberian economy has been since the early days of its settlement, predominantly agrarian. There's also a lot of shipping, a lot of shipping of goods in and out of

Liberia. And actually, it's the second largest ship registry in the world. Foreign ships registering under a Liberian flag of convenience have made Liberia one of the world's foremost countries in registered shipping tonnage. Rahm materials, equipment, consumer goods are imported. Production for export is carried out in a large scale through foreign investment and rubber, forestry, and mining. Despite all the shipping Liberia, Liberia primarily again agricultural. The distribution of wealth is extremely uneven. The coastal districts receive a greater share of economic benefits than the hinterland, a.k.a. the interior, after which the administrative centers are the next

beneficiaries. Prior to recent civil wars, Liberia was among the leading producers of iron ore in the world, has sizable iron ore reserves. Other minerals include diamonds, gold, lead, manganese, graphite, cyanite, bearite. Now let's talk a little bit about the people of Liberia. It's no more than just the American immigrants. Who were the natives, the American Liberians clashed with? Who their descendants still clashed with? The people of Liberia classified primarily into three major groups, the indigenous people

who are the majority and who migrated from Western Sudan in the late Middle Ages. The second group, the descendants of Black immigrants from the US, the America Liberians who have been talking about and lumped in with them are the descendants of former slaves from the West Indies. And then the third group is other Black immigrants from neighboring Western African states, many who came during the anti-slave trade campaign and European colonial rule. Liberia's indigenous ethnic groups may be classified into three linguistic groups all belonging to the Niger Congo language family, the Mandi, Kwa and Mel, Kwa speaking people include the Basa, the largest group in this category,

in the largest ethnic group in Manrovia, the crew, the Gribo, who are among the earliest converts to Christianity, the D, the Bell, and the Crown, Joshua Bly, Mr. Buttonake and himself, a member of the Crown people, so many different ethnic groups in Liberia. Altogether, there are at least 17 different distinct indigenous cultures living in Liberia. And many of them don't get along with each other, any better than they've gotten along with the American Liberians. These groups will all violently clash with one another for years during Liberia's Civil Wars.

And I hope I'm pronouncing their names right. If not, apologies. Very hard to find pronunciation guides or people saying, you know, any of these words on YouTube, especially in an American accent. About four fifths of librarians are Christian, about one tenth of Muslim, and a small number profess other religions, primarily traditional beliefs or are non-religious. Demographic wise, more than two fifths of the population of libraries under age 15 and only five percent older than 60.

How sad is that? There's been so much fucking murder, so much poverty and disease, only 5% of the population is over 60. For comparison, 16% of the US population is over the age of 65. Life expectancy in Liberia is about 57 years for males, 60 years for females, life expectancy fell dramatically as a result of the Civil Wars. In the U.S., the average life expectancy is 76 for dudes and 81 for dudeettes. That's a lot more life, about 20 years more than in Liberia. What is life like in Liberia today for the average Liberian? Not good.

In short, really not fucking good at all. Roughly half of Liberians live in abject poverty, not just poverty, abject poverty, which means they are severely deprived of basic needs, like food, clean water, shelter, sanitation, and basic healthcare access. Things have gotten a little better lately in some ways, but they're still fucking horrific.

Recent report shows that roughly 64.7% of librarians are literate compared to 10 years ago when only 42% of the population could read a right. Though the literacy rate has increased, the gender gap continues to highlight a lack of educational opportunities for women, while 77% of librarian men can read and write only 54% of librarian women currently are literate, just basically half, fucking 2020. Poor living conditions in Liberia forced many families to send their children to work instead of school. As a 2018-21% of children are engaged in child labor, that figure used to be much, much higher not that long ago. Disease has ravaged and continues to ravage Liberia. The Ebola virus

has killed more than 11,000 Liberians and in 2016 alone, Ebola hit Liberia harder than almost anywhere else in the world. Liberia had 2,900 new HIV infections added to the already 43,000 people living with the disease. That happened in 2016, end of the 43,000, only 19% able to access any kind of antiretroviral treatment. Uh, thousands still die from malaria every year in Liberia. For comparison, about five people die each year from malaria in the U.S. A much bigger country population wise, you know, with about, I mean, I didn't put the stat in there, but Liberia, don't quote me on this, but just, now I'm just pulling it for memory. I think about four million, five million people, well over 300 million in the US, so that's

insane. If you really want to get a feel for how terrible life can be in Liberia, I recommend you watch a vice documentary from 2012 called the Cannibal Warlords of Liberia. Holy shit. Just seeing it is so much more powerful than hearing it about it. At least it was for me. One of the most intense docs I've seen in a while just under an hour long. Maybe don't watch it if you're already sad because it is a giant pit of misery and despair.

According to this doc, Liberia, the fourth poorest country in the world in 2012, 50% of the population illiterate, and one of the worst nations in the world for women, they stayed that at the time an estimated 70% of adult women were believed to have been the victims of rape. 7 out of 10, it's fucking horrifying. At the time, 80% of the population was unemployed. Also, an unknown, but thought to be sizeable percentage of the population had tasted human flesh. Yes, cannibalism was big in Liberia during the wars. Our mythical crows, cafe, would have sold very well there.

It's believed that ritual cannibalism is still practice in many parts of Liberia. General but naked apparently ate human flesh on a regular basis while fighting in the first of Liberia's two recent civil wars. One warlord, general Rambo, a great warlord named, talked about how during the Civil War in Manrovia people would collect fallen bodies around town, push them on carts around town to sell to starving citizens desperate for meat. Holy shit. Just a fucking dude pushing human bodies to sell for meat.

And this didn't happen hundreds of years ago. The first Liberian war lasted from $9.89 to $19.97. The second began in $99. Last until 2003. Recently, human beings walking down the street of a major city, pushing a cart full of human bodies, selling them for meat. Get your fresh neighbor, fresh neighbor meat. We got neighbor rams, we got neighbor arm steaks, legs, steaks. You want that tasty neighbor butt? Make it, carry it up, slice the tussle on the frying pan. We got neighbor butts all day long. Bo, your neighbor's head, make a nice neighbor face meat soup. So much neighbor meat, fucking crazy.

Libyrian journal is interviewed in the doc also talks about how there are still dead bodies all over the place in certain neighborhoods. And oftentimes when you come across them, their genitals have already been cut off. Why? For good luck. Not kidding. He said that some dudes will cut off a woman's vulva

and basically taxi durm get in some way to kind of flatten it, carry it around in a wallet, and use it as a quote, source of power. He's saying this just eight years ago, this dude's cutting off women's vulvas. Like it's fucking no big deal, like it's normal. Just tanning them, throwing them in their wallets for, you know, extra, oomph, extra power.

Based on the footage I saw in this doc from some of Menrovia's worst neighborhoods, like West Point, I believe it when he says this. Before I describe what the doc showed going on in West Point, like the worst neighborhood in Marovia, I should point out that not everywhere in Marovia is this bad. There are decent neighborhoods full of actual law enforcement, paved clean streets, toilets, thriving markets,

just not enough for them. There are over 150 different neighborhoods in the city of Marovia, in a city of just over a million people total. And while not all of the neighborhoods are nightmares, unfortunately, many are some degree of nightmare. Check out this horrific stat, again, from 2012, only a third of Manrovia's residents at that time had access to toilets.

That means over half a million people said a shit wherever they could find a place to shit. Just outside. This is in a city. The people in the dock talked about being overpowered by the smell of to shit. Just outside. This is in a city. The people in the dock talked about being overpowered by the smell of literal shit all the time. They showed this huge beach in Minrovia where everyone just shits in the sand.

So much shit. While they're filming, just people are just out there of shitting. People are shitting the streets. There's garbage in the streets. So much garbage sometimes. They set fire to it just so that traffic can keep moving down the streets.

The manrovius slums in this documentary are preposterously dystopian. Like, forget third world. This is like fourth or fifth world. It's hard to process how bad it is. I had to watch many parts twice. The journalist talked to and filmed kids openly smoke in heroin like little kids, like nine, 10 years old.

Kids talking to him about recently doing shit like robbing and raping some woman at gun point, just casually talking about that, just life. Now, you see a kid singing in the street about everyone they know, dying of AIDS. You meet kids, young kids talking casually about, you know, murder, about do as much coke and heroin as they can. Kids with no living family members, no homes. Kids shitting in the street, sleeping out on the ground, doing whatever they feel like they have to do to survive.

You see the saddest brothels you'll ever see in West Point where young sex workers just do whatever anyone wants to do for less than a single U.S. dollar, there's rooms in this West Point brothel that look like something out of saw or something like hostile type horror film. Brothels with concrete walls, either no lights or just candles or maybe like a single light bulb swinging like an interrogation room from the ceiling. Tiny prison cell-like rooms with a concrete or dirt floor. One tiny window with iron bars across it,

literally blood on the walls. It looks like fucking hell on earth. Looks like the scene, like the setting of a horror movie. Sex workers interviewed talk about being raped on a regular basis, about being beaten, there's no other jobs for them, how they work as prostitutes just to get food to survive, some of them spoke about how they have educations, how they have a trade of some kind. You used to have a different job, but now just this, they talk about UN soldiers who are supposed to be or were supposed to be at the time protecting them and improving

life in Liberia, instead beating and raping them. They talk about witnessing you and soldiers having sex with young children as fucking insanity. Most of the sex workers are orphans. So many orphans in Liberia. So many people with no family, no job, no hope, nothing, nothing good in their lives. They live in a city surrounded by a jungle full of warlords. There's no escaping this madness for many of them. Just death is always nearby. It's hell.

Like they live in hell on earth, a dystopian nightmare. And what's really crazy as far as today's show goes, in this chaos, in this atmosphere of over-the-top violence and constant death, general but naked still stands out. He was so ruthless and brutal. He stands out as one of the most feared butchers in a nation full of so much butchery. After watching this doc, despite admitting to committing so, so many atrocities that will get into later,

despite committing to so many blatant war crimes, I do understand why General Buttonnake is still a free man. He's free because if you're going to arrest him, how many others must you also arrest? You would need to arrest thousands. He was born into a nation full of a silly amount of murderers. So much murder and rape. Therefore, it's a nation, you know, yeah, full of, you know, murders, rapists.

Where do you even start cleaning that up? Would a resting general butt naked make a difference? Would it help anything? I'll talk about more of that. Talk about, I'll talk more about this at length in the end, but man, so complicated. Thankfully, things do seem to have gotten less violence since 2012.

Liberia did not make a recent most dangerous nations in the world list compiled by global security and medical specialists from around the world. So that's a step up, that's good. Still not safe though, I don't recommend traveling there. The UK and many other nations, governments and various travel advisory websites still state that while tourists aren't usually the targets of

violence at least not as often as locals are targets in manrovia and elsewhere in library you should still be very careful careful and you should never travel anywhere at night after sundown uh... stay the fucking side okay now that we've laid out how terrible life can be in library uh... for many let's talk about the men who maybe made life a little better there for

some and definitely made life much worse for many of the warlords general button naked in his peers. While stories about modern warlords seem to center around Africa for the past few decades warlords have actually been around since meat sack started organizing themselves into societies. Warlords are definitely not an African phenomenon. According to Merriam Webster, a warlord is a supreme military leader or a military commander exercising civil power by force, usually in a limited area. Their local strongmen who operate in their locales and take control where there's a political vacuum. Instead of someone like a politician, a warlord's power is characterized by being self-interested.

Out for their own wealth and power and the wealth and power of their small circle. People who avoid acquiring fixed assets that they have to guard and who fail to provide any public goods such as security, infrastructure or education. So they're kind of different than a politician. They're different than most. I feel like some politicians seem a little warlord-ish. Warlords need militias to support them so a good deal of their energy and violence goes towards keeping their militia satisfied.

And sometimes that militias made up of people who really can't split away without being in grave danger. And who don't need a lot of food or resources like many of the children who fought for General Buttnaked. Warlords have exercised power across the globe and in a variety of different times. The feudal warlords of medieval Europe began as members of the landed nobility during the Carolingian Empire in the 8th, 9th, and 10th centuries. We touched on that empire last week. As the empire gradually collapsed at the close of the first millennium, the social system of loyalty that characterized the old regime became less hierarchical and more fragmented, and the lords began to set separate policies for the administration of justice and taxation over the lands they controlled.

Warlords began to levy arbitrary taxes on jurisdictions that often overlapped, gone was the central government, and it's place a smattering of warlords, ruling over a fluctuating landscape of boundaries over their little fiefdoms. Sounds terrible. Some warlordism in China occurred much more recently. It began after the fall of the Manchu Qing Empire in 1911, ending with the mainland victory of Mao's communist revolution in 1949. In 1911, the Qing Mongol dynasty collapsed during a revolution led by provincial armies, whose men were discussed with the regime's inability to stave off the threat of foreign encroachment. The warlords who emerged in the aftermath were mostly former imperial military officers. Successful warlords were good politicians who wooed local economic elites to gain control over provincial and municipal tax collection.

Since geographical boundaries dividing warlord areas of rule in China were often non-existent, the same warlord could sometimes act as a military governor on behalf of Beijing, and at other times as an anti-Bagine in search of it. For example, warlords collected municipal taxes on territory they controlled by government decree, but they also would lead local tax revolts if it was to their personal advantage. In addition, they extorted unofficial taxes from illegal checkpoints, including along railroad lines. Sometimes they also forced residents to grow opium poppies for them to sell or pay a laziness tax if they refused. Sounds confusing and terrible. In both Somali and Afghanistan, warlordism is a newer phenomenon. Civil war in both

countries gave men who controlled weapons and militias the power to subvert and displace traditional clan or tribal authorities and take control. And Somalia, the military took over the country in a bloodless coup when the last functioning civilian president was assassinated in 1969. Major general Muhammad Sa'it bar became the new state ruler, but he lost domestic legitimacy after an ill-fated military campaign against Ethiopia for control over the disputed, Oh, Godden region in the late 1970s. He relied, he relied increasing on support from his own clan and various sub-Clan factions to retain power, bar pay these clan members off from state coffers, packed government positions

with the zone people and fermented, fermented, inter-cland rivalries to divide his opponents. As a result, the Army fragmented into clan-based militias, each supporting its own interests with armaments left over from the competitive Soviet and U.S. assistant packages, assistance packages that have been offered to Somali in the past. Why we see a lot of warlords in Africa today is because African governments often fail to provide public goods and services to the entire country. This is what happened in Liberia for sure. Various ethnicities had not been taken care of by the government that viewed them as second-class citizens for over a century. And when warlords came

along and took resources, even if they kept most of those resources for themselves and only gave a little to everyone else, well, a little was better than nothing people were previously receiving. I covered the info in this following section. And more and a suck I did in January of 2018, the colonial devastation of Africa, suck number 72, gonna give a brief recap of some of that info now, because it's very relevant to today's suck. As we learned in that episode,

the colonization of Africa really got going with the Berlin conference that kicked off in 1884, when Otto von Bismarck decided the leaders of Europe needed to sit down and figure out how to carve up another continent to fuck over. By 1910, over 90% of Africa was under your imperial control. Only Liberia and Ethiopia remained independent. Italy tried to take Ethiopia over in 1896 that as fucking ass kicked in the Battle of Ottawa. It times would later kick Ethiopia's ass in 1936, ruled that nation for about five years before Ethiopia kicked them back to fuck out. Africans were forced to fight for their colonial overlords in both World War I and World War II.

So while the slave trade was abolished in the late 19th century, slavery in some form did continue in Africa until well into the 20th century. And before and after World War I, when economic recessions and depressions hit Europe, Europeans turned to Africa to rebuild their economies, to rebuild their fortunes. Europe's growing interest in Africa's minerals led to her expansion into the interior. The great depression that followed Europe was also affected by the stock market crash of 1929, worsened the already failing economies of Europe. The mining of mineral wealth from Africa

required the reorganization of colonial rule which meant that the autonomy, chiefs and kings in Africa had maintained over the years would be increasingly dissolved to make room for a more progressive form of government. A form that would send a form that would send a shit ton of mining money back to European overlords. A land was taken away from African tribes and residents and chiefs and local

empires and given to white settlers and colonial companies like the British South African company for farming and for mining. Parts of Africa are actually still being economically subjugated by former imperial imperial rulers. The French still tax a shit out of 14 African nations, 12 of which are former French colonies to the tune of roughly $500 billion a year. Too complicated to break down why they're taxing them here, but basically has to do with these nations still using French currency. It's also just a bunch of bullshit that benefits France far more than it benefits these

African nations. European leaders carved Africa up with no regard for what kingdoms already existed or which tribes already lived there, where they lived, which tribes got along with what other tribes. The European colonialism did very little with African natives to educate and empower them. Instead, they mostly just used them as cheap labor. And when it was no longer profitable to keep using them, they just left. And they left a big fucking mess that they largely created oftentimes. More than a quarter of the countries and subs to here in Africa, poor now than they were in 1960. And there is no sign that foreign aid, however substantive, will end that poverty anytime soon. A doesn't help much without a solid infrastructure to receive and distribute it.

A doesn't help much without a solid infrastructure to receive and distribute it in 2011 according to the OECD the organization for economic cooperation and development official development aid to a Liberia totaled $765 million made up 73% of its gross national income the some even larger in 2010. But it's not it's not helping like it should last year every one of the 25,000 students who took the exam to enter the University of Liberia failed. All of the aid is still failing to provide a decent education to Liberians. And without that, decent education, you know, that means that, you know, Liberia and similar African states will still be weak and plagued with corruption. Typically weak states lack presence in their border regions and rural areas, which then become ungoverned spaces, spaces perfect for warlords to take over. And that's what has happened in Liberia without a monopoly over the use of forests and

rural areas and with the exclusion of certain groups from the political realm, African nations become prone to insurgent groups and conflict, warlords emerge. They have the opportunity to emerge when structure authority, power, law, another civil order fragments leaving a political vacuum to be filled. And so now we will dig into the life of one of the warlords who tried to fill that vacuum, general butt naked. Before we learn a lot about his life and the timeline, let's first take a look at the tribe. Joshua Blie came from. The crown are found throughout Liberia. See, the crown or crown, I heard it pronounced crown more often. Though they primarily are found in Grand Gede and Nimbabwe counties, they are also found in Manrovia

and elsewhere. And Blie is a member of the Sarpo, one of several ethnic groups within the crown people, or crown people, and the Sarpo clan consists of six different subclans, Cabade, Kimupo, Putu, Sikhan, I have no idea how to say some of these. And there's no guide. This is like smaller subclans. Warzone and Wedja, guessing. Blyze parents were from Kabade, from that subclan. The seat of an ancient god, they supposedly worship a god known as Naya Gehwea. And I say supposedly for reasons that we make

clear later. When it comes to his tribal religion, hard to figure out how much of what Bly is saying is real and how much he's making up. Because Samuel Doe, the leader who would hold power in Liberia from 1980 through 1989, was also crowned. Many members of that ethnic group moved to Manrovia, the capital city during the 1980s, and general button naked was one of them. Once in power, President Doe instituted a blatant patronage system, rewarding the crown, a generally rural and agrarian people who only make up about 4% of the total Libeurian population with a disproportionate number of senior military and government positions.

And often the jobs were high paying positions that didn't require the person holding it to really do much. Mostly they just got a cool title and a cooler paycheck, the perfect gig. And gradually the crown were blamed by many librarians for the brutality and corruption of the dough years and for siphoning off the country's wealth. And this, you know, tension will add fuel to the fire that will lead to the first librarian civil war. I couldn't find much on the crown people's traditional tribal practices other than what's in Bly's memoir. Like I mentioned, not sure. I believe a lot of what he says,

but it's worth sharing because it's interesting. And we get to know, lies are not general button-a-kid a little bit better by telling this stuff. Dude, either had an extremely unusual childhood or is a con artist, he's a con artist with a fantastic imagination or some mix of the two. The way Bly describes it, every first male child in his tribe is trained as a warrior and must pass through numerous traditional practices. When a crown child first turns eight,

he's expected to contribute to his father's house and return as father doesn't make any major decisions without the boy's consent. It tends general tribal meetings also fends for himself being considered a laughing stock of me. It's from his mother's soup pot. After he turns eight, this will be like this. Totally. Sounds legit. And how a boy should be raised, right?

I mean, what kind of weak-ass mom is boy? Let's his mom still feed him when he's fucking eight years old. I was grilling steaks from various woodland creatures that I'd killed myself by a time out of six or seven, like a normal, strong boy man. Bly says that the crown father's teats or sons to hunt with guns and traps on land to farm, fall trees, build fences, raise animals. All of this with the belief that these things will make the first born boy mature enough to assume a priestly role.

It's priestly role thing comes up a lot. That's like the top position in your tribe. If you're the fucking priest, you're the fucking man. You're the top, top dog. All of the fathers do these things with their first sons and the hopes that they'll be selected for priesthood by Naya Giyowa. And again, no idea how to say this.

It doesn't really come up anywhere that I can find. Naya Giyowa, the crown, the crowned people's raining deity to avoid the stigma of having a week or useless firstborn son, Bly says, fathers will kill sons. They see as not being fit for the job. And again, feels fair. I've never talked about it before, but my son Kyler used to have an older brother, Ricky Dean.

It's my true firstborn son, old Ricky Dean, but I had to kill him. I had to. I cut that little worthless nine year old fuck asking his mom to make him mac and cheese and be given some apple juice to drink And to be taken to a doctor sometimes and I was like not on my watch parasite At nine and a half he still didn't have an after school job. I gave him an extra six months, you know grace period Nope still hadn't taken out a single elk with a knife. He'd made himself by rubbing an antler or some shit against a stone edge until it was razor sharp What was I supposed to do with that kid? Love him, nurture him, give it still forming brain

time to develop. No thanks, not a weak parent. I killed him and I made his younger brother Kyler-Edom to absorb his strengths and power. You get it. You don't get it, dude. I hope not. General butt naked would get it. That was savage nonsense. I hoped that butt naked is making some of this shit up, but maybe not. According to blind, his tribe would engage in battles with other tribes and when they would win these battles and they would win, right? Because his tribe is the best. He'd say that the victorious crown would then make their defeated opponents agree to the following. These odd and repetitive declarations to nullify the spiritual control of the lands, gods, and turn it over to their own gods. One, agree that the gods of our fathers that empowered us to conquer you

shall have access into the hidden places of your gods. And even if you go there to take refuge, we are entitled to bring you back. Two, agree that the blood and water we used in conquering you and your land have nullified the blood and water you used in founding the land and his preservation. Three, agree that you will be our servants and everything that belongs to you by nature and achievement belongs to us. Four, agree that our blood and water used in conquering you have notified the blood and water that was used in getting your crops and livestock.

Five, agree that our blood and water, really like to say blood and water, agree that our blood and water used in conquering you have notified the blood and water that your parents used in burying you. Six, I and water that your parents used in bearing you Six, I bet you know how it's gonna start Agree that our blood and water used in conquering you have notified the blood and water you used in bearing your children now and unborn And then one more seven Agree that as of now. Oh, change it up a little agree that as of now You shall come under the gods of our fathers and it shall render you useless. If the blood and water, there we go, from your body ever cease responding to us in the affirmative.

The last declaration gets a little meandering. I feel like it's a little repetitive and convoluted and it runs on too long. Right? What are they, what are they even talking about now? Seven, agree that as of now and not of yesterday and not of two weeks ago, blood and water. Last year or more years ago, you are under our God's blood and water and not your gods, or any other God's blood and water, but gods. And you shall get to rendering blood and water gods.

And whoever is rendered is dustly, no longer of old ways, blood and water. But your blood and water and blood and some extra water and henceforth, Hithro has agreed to be ours forever, blood and ever water. And if not a good place, when can respond to affirmative, and if not affirmative water, affirmative. Uh, okay, sure, I agree. Black claims this is how he's raised. In a tradition where there's no room for weakness where first born boys are the only

kind of kids really cared about. And even they are killed for being soft, where conquer someone totally take everything from the defeated their achievements the crops of livestock there their body their blood their soul all this might be posted uh... will look into soon uh... how a lot of expert cultural anthropologist doubt anything like the rituals joshua describes ever took place uh... keep in mind that is we move to the timeline a lot of our information about

joshua blight's childhood does only come from his memoir, the redemption of an African warlord, the Joshua Bly's story. While parts of it are probably true, as we'll see later, Bly, he makes a lot of crazy claims. He claims, you know, that the God speaks to him numerous times, I don't know. I don't know. Tina Sustman, among the first Western journalists to write about Blyatris conversion to Christianity told the New Yorker, I've covered a lot of warlords after a war is over. They have to reinvent themselves. That's how they survive. That's what Joshua claims to do in his book.

To have, you know, had this big conversion. Is that what he's doing just to survive? I don't know. If the war, you know, was still ongoing after he converted, it would general button they could return to battle as Ruthless has ever made. Let's meet him and see what you think. Time for this week's Time Suck Timeline. After a quick sponsor break, hope you like these deals.

Thank you to our sponsors. We appreciate the support big time. Now, timeline time, time, time, line. This is my favorite part of the episode. This timeline. We already went over the founding of Liberia, so no need to go over all that 19th century century stuff again here. Picking things up in the early 20th century.

With a tire company, randomly, in 1926, the Firestone tire and rubber co created the world's largest plantation at Harbor, Liberia, and rubber became the backbone of the Liberian economy. Firestone had signed a 99 year concession agreement with the Liberian government in the 1920s to grow and export rubber, and thousands of indigenous Liberians

will be exploited mercilessly by firestone in the librarian government. And this exploitation will over 60 years push the nation towards civil war. Harvey S. Firestone senior, the Ohio-born founder of the Firestone tire and rubber company, have become one of the top industrialists of the gilded age. He dreamed of finding a rubber source beyond the grasp of the British Empire, which controlled much of the world market at the time. In Liberia, he found a spot in the narrow band around the equator where rubber trees thrived,

and a nation that was in debt and desperate for business. I, for two years of negotiations, Firestone and Liberia announced one of the, one of the history's really great as sweetheart deals. Liberia gave Firestone the right to lease up to a million acres, roughly 10% of the country's arable land for six cents an acre, for 99 years. Liberia made a very shitty deal here. And the AmeriCorps Liberians running Liberia to make some extra money off of this deal seemed to have sold locals into essentially plantation slavery and forced them to work for Firestone during the 20th century.

In 1930, investigators from the League of Nations found that officials in the Liberian government had engaged in forcing indigenous villagers to work on private farms, including firestones, giant plantation. They did not find evidence that firestone was complicit in this, and the rubber plantation exploitation continued. 1943. William Tobman is elected president of Liberia. He promotes foreign investment and local participation

in government during his long tenure. Liberia will experience a period of prosperity for some. By the time of his death in 1971, Liberia had the largest mercantile fleet in the world, the world's largest rubber industry, and was the third largest exporter of iron ore in the world. They attracted more than a billion dollars in foreign investments. During the 1950s, Liberia had the second highest rate of economic growth in the world. Also during the 1950s, Firestone and others in Liberia continued to fuck over Liberia's

poorest people. Firestone was Liberia's largest private employer and the largest exporter in the country during that decade. Firestone's profits, after taxes, amounted to three times the government's total revenue for all of Liberia in 1951. How is all this growth in these crazy profits possible? Well, because they were exploiting the fuck out of the indigenous classes of Liberian society, the natives, people who were not descended from settlers, people who were not the American Liberians. Also during the 1950s, Liberia became for all intents and purposes a dictatorship.

After a gunman attempted to assassinate Tubman in 1955, he brutally repressed a political opposition. His so-called assassination attempt widely believed to have been staged by Tubman in order to consolidate his power and in order to squash his political enemies. His administration becoming increasingly authoritarian before the assassination attempt. Liberia's constitution did not have term limits and Tubman did not ever volunteer to leave office. He controlled the dominant political party and created a wide network of, you know, sycophants through patronage appointments, given away more jobs to people,

jobs that didn't really require them to do anything other than be loyal to him. Cool titles, cooler paychecks. He's doing some warlord shit. On July 23rd, 1971, President Tubman dies. Vice President William Tolbert takes office. Tubman had ran the show for 27 years, you know, Turnlibery into a dictatorship. When Tolbert took over, he'd already been vice president for 19 years, and Tolbert was a member of one of the most influential and affluent American Liberian families. He tried to institute summer forms,

and this backfire don't him. He promoted a program to bring more indigenous people into the Liberian government, but local tribes didn't feel like it was enough. And at the same time, American Liberians staunchly opposed to this reform that thought it was doing too much. It was accused of, according to one source,

letting the peasants into the kitchen. So he quickly makes enemies on both sides. September 30th, 1971, Joshua Blie, the future general button naked is born. His last name, Blie, comes from his grandfather, who is simply called Bly. We're gonna dive into Bly for a while now

before we return to the rest of this timeline. Bly Mary's Joshua's grandmother, Trophani, and has three children. Quetti, Joshua's dad, and two girls, followed by another boy. As was tradition for their tribe, Quetti trained as the first son. You know, so he has to be in some man's shit

by the age of eight unless he wants to get killed. According to Joshua's memoirs, his father was a tough dude, once some sort of prize as a child for being his tribe's best hunter, once rescued a cousin from a leopard. That leopard story is true. That is pretty impressive.

I haven't saved anyone from any kind of animal, not even from like a raccoon or even a squirrel, but alone leopard. Not sure you can save anyone from a squirrel actually. That'd be a tough tale to really sell, you know. Uh, wait, what was that you just said? You just said the what you saved your cousin from a squirrel? I don't understand how it's even possible. Well, hold on. Let me, okay, let me explain. See when I fired that slings, that squirrel was probably, I don't know, five, maybe just six feet away from him. Actually, I think it was a little bit closer. It had to be because he was feeding it some bread.

Wait, what? He was feeding the squirrel. If he was feeding it, then why did he need to be saved from it? Listen, okay, hold on. Saved might not be the best word. I'm not positive that the squirrel was trying to kill him or really hurt him, bite him or anything. But I was worried that the squirrel was going to maybe take more bread from him than he

wanted to give. And that's not cool. So I guess I saved the bread from the squirrel. I saved my cousin from losing more bread. I'm going to take off. When one of his tribes priest died, Josh was father Quetti, was established as an interim priest. Quetti lived and worked

him in Rova, in Rovia, but traveled back to his homeland to bless crops, perform rights, offer various cures. At some point Quetti marries Ma Saiba, a normal woman from Lofa country in the northern part of Liberia. And again, according to Mr. Buttnaked, Lofians have their own traditional and cultural practices, primarily within the poor and sandy secret societies, which are widespread through Eastern Liberia and Sierra Leone, and Masaba, part of the sandy society had had a very high rank. She's seen as kind of magical magic, big in these tribes. Masaba gives birth to a boy, a child named Benedict, who will be instructed as all first sons are within the Sapporo tribe. However, when blinds dad Quetti takes Benedict to elders to be introduced to their God,

Naya Gaewe, the Oracle rejects him. In Bly's words, the Oracle says, Benedict was from a mixed culture and already had the mark of the other culture. In frustration, the God, Naya Gaewe, placed a curse of inconsistency upon the innocent child, which is to this day affecting his life. That's a very weird curse. I placed a curse of inconsistency upon you. And like sometimes your life is fine. Everyone's like, you fucking tripp or something. Like, God damn curse. The elders apparently didn't want a child who wasn't entirely separate. So they decided to arrange a marriage now between Quetti. Josh was dad and the woman and a woman they found suitable, a crown woman. They choose Elizabeth Panto, who was crowned, but who was also already married with two

children named Nelson and Harrison. Elizabeth will be Josh's mother. She was a woman of high repute and her father, Nipan, was considered a very powerful man. This is super weird, what I'm about to say here. According to Bligh, Nipan's father, who was also named Nipan, had, quote, traditional powers that he inherited from a source I cannot perfectly explain. But he specialized in treating beariness.

The condition was such that a woman who first bear him a child, or I'm sorry, the condition was such that a woman would first bear him a child who remained with him when she returned to her father's or her husband's house. This explains why the name Nipan is such a common name among the Sapporo. Does everyone follow what I'm saying here? Oh, Josh was saying here. He's saying that his maternal great-grandfather was a man with magical powers and his magical

powers were to cure infertility uh... by fucking various village women until they were pregnant and had a child. I don't know that that's magic. Pretty sure that uh... has more to do with high sperm count. The magic. What a sweet gig. Dr. Dick. Any hot village ladies having fertility problems?

Dr. Dick is on the case. Any unattractive women having fertility problems. Dr. Dick will be happy to refer you to a rival, Dick Doctor. One of the elders apparently observed that Josh was father, Quetti, his passion for women was weak. So they assigned him his paternal uncle, Twella Folly, to cast a spell on Quetti, okay?

To create a sudden burning desire for Josh was mother. And that worked out, but then, you know, she's still married. He's still married as well. Quetti reassures his wife, Mossaba, that as soon as Elizabeth Ponto produces a suitable son, their marriage will be terminated. And this is written in this weird way of like, listen, I know this seems kind of crazy that he's just going to leave one wife to go to his other wife, but he made things right by assuring her that once this second wife produces a son for him, you know, then she doesn't have to be married him anymore.

Very different culture we're dealing with here. That shit would not fly in America. If you're like, baby, I've met another woman and I'm going to marry her, but don't worry, I'm going to make it right. As soon as she's pregnant, you can leave. But you know, everyone wins or something. And the baby Quetti would have with Elizabeth will be Joshua Bl pregnant, you can leave. Let you know everyone wins or something. And the baby quity would have what Elizabeth will be Joshua Blie, aka General Buttnaken. And again, according to Blie, he is, this is insane.

He says he's born weighing 18 pounds. He says he's the heaviest baby ever born at St. Joshua's Catholic Church in Manrovia. Get the fuck out of here. Highly unlikely. Even 13 pound babies make the news. The heaviest healthy baby ever born was 22 pounds, and eight ounces.

Born in Italy in 1955, there's a few other cases and recorded history of babies over 20 pounds being born, like three. After that it drops off to like 16 pound babies. Bly has never mentioned in any big baby articles. Bly's parents marriage dissolved a few years later, probably by the priest again, a lot of marriages get moved around.

And at the age of four, or the elder, excuse me, at the age of four, Joshua goes to live with his dad and stepmom. He goes to St. Peter's School in Manrovia, claims that when he's in first grade, he could solve math problems that fourth graders couldn't. He's super smart. You will soon see that Mr. Buttonegut has no shortage of confidence, very high opinion of himself.

I don't know that this happened. As a child, Joshua says he had dreams about blood and hurting his friends. Sometimes he would hurt them. And then, confusingly, his dad would scold him in front of the people he'd hurt, give the victims money in private so he must have hurt him pretty bad. But then, you know, I'm sorry, give the victims money in public. But then, in private, later, Joshua's dad would praise him and tell him he was pleasing the gods. Now, he was strong.

And sometimes strong man boys have to hurt people. If that is true, no wonder he became a warlord. I'm guessing I would have turned out a little differently, growing up if my dad would have been like, you know, make me proud, son. Let's go hurt some kids today. Fuck him up. Josh was father and stepmom arranged the birth

of another child,or and then victor when he's presented to the elders to be a priest for some reasons, well, everyone's getting fucking presented to the priest or the elders to be a priest. They reject him saying that they will only have the chosen one, aka Joshua. Now he's the chosen one according to his own memoir. Apparently, Quetti likes Joshua so much. His dad liked him so much. He didn't want to hand him over to be a priest.

A little confusing. Sorry, if be a priest, a little confusing. Sorry, if all of this is a little confusing, again, all of this is based on Joshua's memoirs. He is not the chosen author, he is not a gifted author. Here's some more shit he wrote that's a little crazy, but it uses me. He says when he was in the third grade, he suffered from an illness that deformed him and made him look like an ape. Okay, sounds legit. He looks nothing like an ape now, but yeah, made him look like an ape. Okay? Sounds legit. He looks nothing like an ape now, but, uh, you know, uh, it's not like that means the story

is nonsense. I mean, he probably just found the right priest. Found some priest who specialized in ape reversal transformation spells. Uh, that has to be it. Josh was dead, took him from one doctor to another to cure his ape shape situation, and they would either refuse, or they couldn't cure him. I don't know why they would refuse. I could cure him, but I will not.

Because this nothing makes sense here. His stepmom decides to take him to a witch to help him out. A witch named Zook Boa, who says Joshua is born with a destiny that cannot be destroyed by any mortal being. No word on whether or not this witch unaped him just you know just more chosen one shit here Joshua continued to be sick for the next four years until apparently the god night gay way visits Josh was dad at work Like how this guy this guy just shows up places like like like his dad

Just you know like at the shop or whatever I don't know whatever he's doing and all of a sudden like in walks This the village god. Hey, I'm Bill is God at one word. Can I word with you about your son? Everyone else in the office falls into a deep sleep except Quetti When this happens and then the god and I get away berates him for not turning Josh will over to the elders Right, so he's a work If I can guide walks in makes every else fall asleep and he's like, God, give me your son. He's self-summit. And then Quetti agrees to do so, handing over Joshua to the tribe's warriors,

muscular men with spears and daggers in their hands that salute him, and then they take him into the forest with the parade following them. They leave him with the elders who bathe him, who tell him that the God, Nigeo is waiting for him. Before the break of dawn, they put him in a leather loin cloth, but pieces of leather on his left arm and right wrist, they hang a bag of chalk on his shoulder,

and lead him to the town square for the ordination ceremony. Town square is crowded with men and women, you know, cheering for him. Yay, new pre-sky. Joshua makes his way to the elders box. As he says it, he entered the thick and heavy presence then of Nageaway and could barely walk up right. His eyes became dim and everything around him was blurry.

It must have gave him some good shit. And suddenly his ears opened to the spirit world and he hears strange laughter. And here's where things, if they're not weird enough already, here's where things get real weird. He says the domineering voice commands him to lick the chalk from the bag for strength. He then arrives at a big rock, and Igeaways thrown at night. He stands there for three days and nights, with only the chalk for food waiting for this God. At midnight on the third day, he sees a stool appear, and a strange voice directs him to stand on it.

When he does, he gets sucked down inside the rock, and he meets Nigeaway. And according to Joshua, Nigeaway is 12 feet tall. He's wearing old rags covered in mud, because why not? He has bruises on his left arm and his left wing is folded under his arm. Don't worry about those details. I don't come up again. He puts his hand on Josh with shoulder. He points to what looks like a screen on this magic screen. Josh was he's various images from his child. Lots of images, days worth of images. On the first day, he watched a scene from his first year of life. On the second day, he watched a scene from his second year of life and so on. He's 11 years old. So the fucking 11 days of the shit. He's done in that rock for a long time. I hope he brought

enough chalk to eat. Each scene reveals a wide shadow spread over Joshua and his mom, wherever there's a whenever there's an attempt to harm them. And I get away, explains every moment from Joshua's life to him and reveals that he is the shadow protecting Joshua all the time. According to Joshua, he told him, Yes, I have been the one protecting you all along because you are my hero. You shall be the greatest in your time and admired by all. No human being can stand up to you or equal the status you shall attain as my priest. Men shall hold you in high regard.

Get the fuck out of here. No shortage of ego on Joshua Blight. I'll attain this my priest. Men shall hold you in a high regard. Get the fuck out of here. No shortage of ego on Joshua Blight. His God is telling him that he is God's hero. Man, dude, you gotta tone down your vision. Painfully clear here that he did not use an editor for his memoirs. Right, he should have had someone

or someone who wasn't afraid of him, you know, maybe give it a little proofread. Maybe ask, like, are you sure? The God told you that you were God's hero? I don't don't know. I just think maybe you want to, you know, tone that down. Some people might like funny use, maybe some sarcastic podcaster might really mock you for doing something that unbelievable. Uh, back to the vision that no part of me actually believes happened, uh, but I do find entertaining. Josh, Josh wrote on the 11th day that Nigeiway told him how to maintain the powers and responsibilities

of being a priest. He told him, first, I want you to know that whatever transpires between you and me is highly confidential. If you reveal what transpires between you and me to others, you will expose the source of your powers. Be informed that these powers belong to you and the entire tribe before and after you. Any act of treason shall result in death. Uh, dude. pretty sure that you write

all this down in your memoirs, counts as, you know, transpiring this stuff, the revealing, what transpired, lucky to be alive, Joshua. And then he says that this God, I gay away, tells him, you will not eat or have anything to do with colon nuts. Touching, not to mention eating colon nuts, is tantamount to plain with the covenant

I made with the tribe because colon nuts were the bane of the covenant. I didn't expect this to go in a colon nut direction. It's getting even weirder. Cool fact about colon nuts, actually, by the way, take a little break from this insanity and talk about something real. They come from the colotry, pretty cool, huh? That's not the cool part. They are the fruit of the colatri, a tree found in

African rainforests, and this cool fact about them is that Coca-Cola is partially named after these nuts. Like the coffee berry and the tea leaf, they contain caffeine, and in the 1880s, John Pemberton, a pharmacist in Georgia, took caffeine extracted from colin nuts and cocaine containing extracts from coca leaves mixed that with sugar, some other flavorings, carbonated water, bingo, and Vince Coca-Cola, the first cola soft drink. One more piece of trivia about this colon nut, Coca-Cola took it out of the recipe in 2016. So if you thought it started to taste different, a couple years back, now you're right. Back to Josh was very real vision now

that for sure happened. Next, his god, and Igea, way tells him, since you are very young for the power you are about to use, you must make human sacrifices. This is the real reason I wanted to lay all this out because this is, you know, the rationalization he'll use for future sacrifices for his war-lording. He says, you must make human sacrifices on a monthly basis at the appearing of the new

moon. These will enable you to retain the powers you receive failure or delay from your quarter share result and your demise. Interesting. Now instead of eating colonnets to pep up, you have to eat people every month. Bummer. So much easier to eat colonnets. And again, Bly will point to this vision for the rest of his life. So why he had to kill all those kids. it got told him to. He needed the magic.

Now, gay away then instructed him to swallow some curry shells or cowrie shells. These shells come from seas nails. And they were once used as a form of currency in Africa in certain parts of Asia. And the cowrie shells, Joshua swallowed apparently served as remote controls to 11 different powers. all of it apparently served as remote controls to 11 different powers. The two in his right hand would contact the supernatural knife and the stool of authority. I find that very odd, the stool of authority. The three in his left hand were for disappearing and reappearing, okay? Two in his left thigh were for protection from bullets and knives. One in his right was for hypnotizing and invoking spirits. This is my favorite part from his memoirs.

And the last two, Joshua, he doesn't really know what they are. I like how he makes up all these details. Some of them are not great, you know? And then he just gives up on the last two shells. I don't know, maybe he didn't make all this up. Maybe he really believes all this stuff happened. Maybe he had some kind of hallucination, some kind of fever dream.

It's not impossible. I mean, he is crazy. As you'll see later, this dude is for sure fucking crazy. The night gay way, then resurfaces Joshua, you know, back to his village, sends him up there, the, there the elders announced his return, and then he enters the elders' huts, and apparently he starts giving instructions as far as how the tribe should be led. Now, he's the big priest. And all this happens supposedly when he's 11 years old.

He's running shit now. Joshua writes that he spends another six or seven days with the elders before his father takes him be led now he's the big priest and all this happens supposedly when he's 11 years old he's running shit now. Joshua writes that he spends another six or seven days with the elders before his father takes him back to Manrovia. Manrovia, a gay away continues to visit Joshua between midnight and four in the morning, via soul trips on abstract planes. Sweet. Look, I haven't gone on a ton of soul trips, but I will say that the soul trips I've taken

on abstract planes have definitely been my favorite, right? Like way better than the soul trips I've taken on, you know, concrete, real non-abstrack planes. What about the sacrifice thing? And I gave away, told him to do. He says he gets to it right away. And Josh was words, initially my monthly human sacrifice was taken from Kotati's yard where I was brought up. Interesting, and they just, you know, take kids from the yard. However, my conscience was greatly troubled after each sacrifice. When I heard the victim's parents weep for their loved ones, I decided to go far away to find my prey.

However, if I did not succeed in securing a far away victim on time, I resorted to offering any of the close residents. So he's a serial killer. This part sadly, I'm more inclined to believe than his crazy colonut PowerShell vision shit. He seems to have definitely killed and eaten a lot of children before he was a warlord. I do feel like he was probably, you know, just a straight up serial killer. This all fits right into his willhouse.

He also said he started performing blind, which recruitments around this time by going to community wells and planting charms in them. So anyone who drank the water would become a medium to display his craft. What does all that mean? I have no fucking idea I think it means he's building a little army of followers by putting magic into the well He says so much crazy shit. It's hard to make sense of all of it And he sold charms as well. Can't forget to mention the sweet charms. He sold So can anyone corroborate all these claims? No, not that I know of at least one family member of his has spoken up and said that a lot of it is bullshit though

According to one of Blie's half brothers his authority in the community. Maybe not quite what he claimed Harrison shine Chalor This half brother in question told a New Yorker Profiler that he had been unaware of Blie's life as a priest as far as Chalor knew Blie was just rebellious youth He said their mom would give him money to buy food for the family and instead of going shopping, he would disappear into the streets of Manrovia for weeks at a time. According to Chalur, Blight left school after the third grade. And this, I love this detail.

And then later, sold Kool-Aid and chicken soup at a local market, wearing a purple necktie, purple shirt, purple trousers, and purple shoes. So he would stand out and people would recognize him. Slightly different version of a childhood here. He was either a powerful priest who was God's own hero, a man destined to be the most powerful man in his lifetime, who started running his village at the age of 11, or he was a kid wearing a purple outfit

at the grocery store selling kool-aid. I laughed so fucking hard when I first read that. This guy's so full of shit. Chalor said their blive then moved on to drug trafficking and robbery. Sometimes Chalor said he and blive would work together. Joshua did seem to be into which powers when he was a kid. He at least pretended that he knew them. According to Chalor and Nigerian soldier once asked young blive to help him gain spiritual powers. And Bly prescribed a witchcraft treatment, which was an enema, or whatever reason. And while the soldier was getting his enema, all Bly was, you know, porn some witch juice

up his ass. Chalur stole his money and ran off. And Chalur was the only person who doubts a lot of Joshua's claims, a David Brown, a social antipologist who has worked in Liberia since the 1970s said that he had never heard of a secret society that matches Bly's description. Many other experts have agreed. One called Bly's story about the priest and the vision and all that stuff. Quote ludicrous. Okay, let's back up now to 1979. We'll reconnect with Buttenake, the bullshit artist and a bit and we'll go over some stuff He sadly definitely did On April 14th 1979 Liberia's rice riots began a proposed increase in the price of imported rice suggested in order to stimulate local growth results in riots which lead to many deaths

an enormous infrastructural damage to the capital city of Manrovia Liberian police shoot and kill 41 protesters on the 14th, more than 400 others are injured and the riots will cost over $35 million in damage or will cause. President Tolbert, the day after the shootings, characterized the leaders of the demonstration as wicked, evil and satanic men who wanted to bring chaos and disorder in the country with the eventual objective of overthrowing the government. These wicked men he's talking about are indigenous. The people killed by law enforcement also indigenous killed by people working on behalf of

the American Liberian government. That's important, right? The more seeds of discontent or so revolution is brewing. A year later, almost to the day on April 12, 1980, master sergeant Samuel K. Doh of the Crown Tribe stages a coup against the Liberian government. Doe, a man with no prior political experience, but a ton of military experience, and a few of his soldiers killed President William Tolbert and 26 of his supporters. There are conflicting accounts regarding Tolbert's death. Most seem to suggest

he was shot while still in his bed. A week later, don his men publicly execute 13 of the former ministers of government for treason. These men were walked nude through the streets of Manrovia, then shot by a firing squad on the beach. Hundreds of other government officials flee the country. Yeah, I bet. I'll be in the fuck out of there too. If I thought there was a chance I'm going to drag my naked ass to the streets and shoot me on the beach. Doe is a very interesting character. It seems as though his coup was backed by the CIA that the US helped him kill Tolbert. Why would America do that?

Well, because Tolbert was friendly with the USSR, the Soviet Union. Doe was a big fan of capitalism. In August 2008, before a truth and reconciliation commission in Manrovia, Doe's former Justice Minister alleged that the CIA a leds of the CIA provided a map of the executive mansion to help out with his coup, enabled Doe and other rebels to break into it, and that actually a white American CIA agent

was the one who shot and killed President Tolbert. He said that the Americans were responsible for Liberia's nightmare, and I absolutely believe this. This happened during the Cold War, and the CIA was for sure toppling regimes with communist leanings or connections, and they were for sure replacing, you know, the leaders in these nations with US friendly puppet regimes. Once the dough puppet regime takes over, Doe proclaims himself the chairman of the People's Redemption Council and immediately

severs diplomatic ties Liberia has with the Soviet Union, and he gets real friendly with the US and the US military of course he does He basically works for the US government He's a fucking stooch. He agrees to a modification of a mutual defense pack Liberia has with the US grants US military staging rights on 24 hour notice it Liberia's C and airports for the US rapid deployment forces established to respond quickly to security threats worldwide Backed by the US dough becomes a brutal dictator US rapid deployment forces established to respond quickly to security threats worldwide. Backed by the US, Doe becomes a brutal dictator.

He soon does shit like shut down newspapers, bands, political activity. At one point, he imposes a 6 p.m. curfew, giving his soldiers the authority to kill anyone out in public after 6 p.m. He's also the first native head of state in the country's history. Samuel Doe will hold dictatorictator, Dictator, Dictator, Dictatorial. Some of these words are, I mean, you read them and you're like, nah, it's fucking, yeah, it's that word. I've seen that word a bunch of times, I don't, it means.

And then you go to say it, and then at least for me, my brain's like, nope. Ha ha, good luck, he's done it a little bit. Samuel Doe will hold Dict Dick tutorial power, I think, in Liberia for nine years. And this, you know, and then his reign will end very, very badly. Five years later, 1985, Liberia has an election in theory, wanting to appear as an elected official

and not as a totalitarian dictator who, you know, got into power by St. John Coo, because it's hard to maintain US support, at least publicly, if you're a tyrannical despot. Samuel Doe runs for the office. He essentially already holds against Jackson Doe. Same last name, not related. And he becomes Liberia's 20th president, because he wins, but maybe not.

Doe claims victory under a huge cloud of controversy and widespread charges of vote-rigging. I don't want to get into a lot of the details here, but it appears that he for sure rigged this election. Uh, dough had the ball is taken to a secret location, had 50 of his own men count him, convenience, uh, foreign observers were not allowed to witness this count. Uh, there were all kinds of other crazy allegations like, uh, you know, people saw his soldiers and then the family of his soldiers just vote for him over and over at voting booths. Just blatantly they just vote for him.

Let's go back to the back of the line. If I can come back, vote for him again. Just over and over and over. Uh, foreign observers think that Jackson Doe one in the landside actually. Despite these troubling allegations, the United States accepts the results of the election, offers support to President Doe. Uh, wouldn't be surprised if the CIA helped rig the election for him. A general butt naked, interestingly, will later claim that he won the election for Doe.

Of course he claims this. The world's most important man claims that he quotes, manipulated almost the whole nation to vote for him. I planted blind agents in all major restaurants and bakeries to sell his fame. Totally. That sounds very legit. If you want to win an election for someone, anyone, who's anyone knows that you need to plant blind agents in restaurants and bakeries to sell their fame.

That's election winning 101. You know, the thing I hate the most about elections here in the US is getting hassled by these goddamn fame sellers at bakeries every four years. Every four years it's the same shit. I walk in to grab a blueberry muffin, maybe a scone, and then there's some motherfucker in the corner just yelling to you like, Trump's super famous and cool. Celebrity apprentice was popular, super famous, vote for him. And then some other motherfucker crossed the bakeries like, no Biden's super cool.

He's been in a politician since 1917. He has over 20 million followers on Twitter. He's been on Ellen. He's on the tonight show a bunch of times. Very, very famous. He got over him. And I'm like, I'm demon, you blind agents. Stop selling fame.

I'm trying to eat my scone. November, 1995. Thomas, quick compah. Doze, former second command is killed when he attempts to overthrow Doe's government. This coup attempt leads to government led violence against the geo and monopeple of Quink- uh, whoo, uh, Quai Kampas native Nimbabwe County.

Not good. Civil War now brewing. December 24, 1989, the National Patriotic Front of Liberia, the NPFL, very different than the NFL enters Liberia and kickst, the NPFL, very different than the NFL, enters Liberia and kickstarts the first Liberian Civil War. Let me give you a quick rundown on who's fighting who in this war. It's super confusing. If you can't remember all these names, don't even worry about it.

You just need to get the gist. The NFPL, the group that kicked shit off, is a band of Libyan-trained military rebels led by one Charles Taylor. We're going to get to know him a little bit in this timeline. Very interesting, dude. They invade Liberia from the Ivory Coast. Taylor had previously backed Doe's coup. And after it was successful, he was appointed director general of the General Services Agency.

And his new job was to oversee government purchases. He was put in charge of a lot of money, and he put a lot of that money into his pocket. He got caught in bezzling roughly a million dollars into foreign accounts for himself and then he fled to the US where he was arrested. And again, this guy's story so interesting. This Charles Taylor, his his life story is a Hollywood blockbuster just waiting to be filmed. I forget to rest in the US. He ends up in jail in Massachusetts. He's detained in the US at the Plymouth County Correctional Facility awaiting a possible extradition back to Liberia, and he breaks the fuck out of jail.

September 15th, in 1995, Taylor and four other inmates escape. Two days later, the Boston Globe reports that they saw through a bar covering a window in a dormitory room, after which they lowered themselves 20 feet on noted sheets, escaping to the nearby woods after climate events. Then, Taylor and two other escapees are met at nearby Jordan hospital by Taylor's wife in sister-in-law who drives a getaway car to Staten Island and then Taylor disappears. And his fellow escapees, as well as his wife in sister-in-law, they're apprehended. But not Taylor.

He just ghosts everyone. He makes it out of the U.S. makes it all the way to Libya, where he meets up with Libyan socialist leader, Momar Kedafi becomes Kedafi's protege, receives a ton of military training, learns how to be a warlord, how to be a dictator. Years later in 2009, Tater will claim in another trial that the CIA helped him escape from jail. And the CIA did confirm that Tater working with the US intelligence at this time. Did they introduce him to Kudafi as well?

How deep does all that shit go? Crazy. Taylor's rebel group, the NFPL consists mostly of geo and monopepals from Eastern Liberia. The geo and monopepal had long been opposed and persecuted by a Liberian president Samuel Doe. The NPFL largely made up a former Liberian military men, and it was one of the first Liberian military regimes to actively recruit child soldiers. The NPFL will go on to clash with government forces and other ethnic militias

all the way until mid 1993. During three and a half years of fighting, all groups involved generated civilian casualties, but tailors, NFPL seems to have generated the most. They were responsible for the slaughter of thousands of Liberians, both military and civilians. As the NFPL forces advanced towards Minrovia, the capital of Liberia in 1990, they specifically targeted people from the Crown and Mendingo as new groups, who remained loyal to the Doe government. And as the war continued, at least last two days, the last two days, the last two days, the last two days, the last two days, the last two days, the last two days, the last two days,

the last two days, the last two days, the last two days, the last two days, the last two days, the last two days, the last two days, the lastOG forces arrive in Liberia, ECOMOG, the economic community of West African States monitoring group, another one of the many armies fighting in this complicated and fractured civil war. During the same month, ECOMAS, the economic community of Western African states, a regional political and economic union of 15 countries located in West Africa, they hold a meeting in Gambia where Dr. Amel's soyer is appointed as Liberian President. The president of an interim government of national unity, the IGN, IGNU.

But soriers, Minerovia based IG IG and you not recognized by rebel leader Charles Taylor, who is now based just outside Minerovia and controls again most of the country. Mybeere is now divided. It has two effective seats of government, one in the country, one out, two effective currencies. It's a land of blood and chaos, roughly 620,000 people will die in this first sub-war. Over 200,000 of them will be civilians, over 200,000. On September 9, 1990, Samuel Doe is tortured and then executed by Prince Johnson, another player and all this shit. And his rebel group, the independent national patriotic front of Liberia, INFL, which had been waging a separate campaign against the government. Yet another faction,

the INFL actually consisted of men who previously broke away from Charles Taylor's NPFL. Do's death is horrific. He's taken to Prince Johnson's military base. Apparently some of Johnson's men thought that Doe was protected by black magic because, of course, all presidents are usually protected by black magic and that they wouldn't be able to truly harm or kill him. To prove to his men that Doe is not protected by black magic, Johnson orders that Doe's

ears be cut off in Johnson's presence and then he choose on one of the ears. And I found a video online where you can watch one of this dude's ears he cut off should not have watched it. I am too curious sometimes and you can't unsee that shit. Then some of Doe's fingers and toes also cut off finally after 12 straight hours of torture. Doe is murdered and then his corpse exhibited naked in the streets of Manrovia. This is fucking Mad Max. The spectacle of his torture, videotape, seen on news reports around the world. The video shows Johnson, Sippin' a Beer is one of, yeah,

Doe's ears are cut off the video I saw. You can tell that he and his men are just used to shit like this when you watch the video. Like they've just known so much violence. Like they've become incredibly jaded. Like in the room while this guy's ears being cut off, some of them are not even paying attention. They're just having side conversations, like it's fucking boring to them.

The president of the country is on the ground, being held down, having his fucking ear cut off with a knife. And they're just like, yeah, yeah, hey, you see that soccer game last night? Ah, man, three to one. I didn't, I thought it'd be a closer game. I thought it'd be a closer game. 1991, now 19 year old general butt naked,

joins all this madness, hail Nimrod, and here we fucking go. He and other members of his tribe decided to join up with the Mandigo tribe to form yet another faction, the ULIMO, United Liberian Movement for Democracy. Like the crowns, the Mandigos were also targeted by Charles Taylor's NPFL because of their support for the Dole regime.

In July of 1991, a family member of one of the victims of Buttonaikid's brutality witnessed something Nightmarish. She would later tell the story to Durspiegel, a German news agency, Faith Gua was 16 in July of 1991. She and her family were living on the outskirts of a small town in Eastern Liberia. When they tuned their radio to the BBC, they heard news about the war. They wondered whether they should stay or leave. She'd left.

A group from the Crown Tribe was searching for enemies in the area, and at this time, any or an enemy was any member of any other tribe. And her older brother Daniel was hiding a nanny from the Geo tribe, who'd been working for their family for years. Faith heard the screams outside the huts as men approached. Suddenly she saw naked man with only a machete in his hand. Joshua Blie, general butt naked. Why is this man naked, She wondered. Then she saw

the other men about 25 of them carrying guns. What the fuck? Just dude walking around with another one of the Shetty, leading a bunch of dudes with machine guns. How surreal. Blie and his men had heard there was a geowoman in the village. Daniel stood in front of the nanny to protect her. And he says to Blly, she's a human being like you and me. And then Bly responds with an order. And one of the men, boy is actually, one of his child's soldiers steps forward, chops off Daniel's foot with a hack of his machete.

Then after Daniel, blood now spurtin' everywhere, falls to the ground screaming. Now this soldier hacks off his lower leg, then while he is still alive, the dude hacks off his thigh, then his hip, methodically working his way with machete hacks up his body until eventually faith's brother falls silent. While I then tell everybody to lay on the ground, and once they do, his men rape her mother

and her sisters and the nanny, and then kill them. In face words, they didn't rape me, but they did things to me that I don't want to talk about. They left me with a ble to me that I don't want to talk about. They left me with a blemish that I will always have. Huh. At some point, Bli says that things are moving too slowly and that there are other military operations to attend to. And then they take off when she spoke to reporters in 2013, faith wasn't sure why they

didn't kill her that day. Her best guess is that by the time they left, they just thought she was already dead. 1992, Taylor and the NFPL launch a large-scale attack on Menrovia, called Operation Octopus. The siege of the Capitol lasts for two months and traps ECO, WAS troops in this ongoing civil war. Taylor's men inflict massive casualties, but they're still unable to take total control of Liberia. casualties, but they're still unable to take total control of Liberia. 1993, there was a split in ULIMO. The group Bly is fighting with. Bly later writes that in fighting in the group results in the deaths of several crown tribe members.

And then that some crown people then want him to become their priest because of course they do. He's God's hero. But Mr. Buttnaked turns him down and says he'll fight as a warrior instead. He also says he told him because he was consenting to reduce his status from priest to warlord, he should be allowed to make as many sacrifices as he wants. He needs to stay alive by making child sacrifices. If only he could just eat colonuts to be bulletproof. In his words, this decision was pleasing to the military

leaders, but not to the political leaders because my numerous killings would hinder their political ambitions she does all so crazy uh... not sure how much of this to believe but many many people will later testify that but naked did kill a lot of people that he did eat a lot of people that he did so much heinous shit in the civil war you know that he really did lead lots of child soldiers so well i doubt anyone was asked him to be some important priest I do believe he told people he wanted to you know take a lot of sacrifices

After this supposed meeting blog gets back to fighting during a typical battle. Bly says Describes, you know what a typical battle would be like preparation. He says before leading my troops into battle We would get drunk and drugged up sacrifice a local teenager leading my troops into battle, we would get drunk and drugged up. Sacrifice a local teenager, drink their blood, then strip down to our shoes, and go into battle wearing colorful wigs and carrying imaginary purses we'd looted from civilians, we'd slaughter anyone we saw, chop their heads off, use them for soccer balls, we were nude, fearless, drunk, yet strategic. We killed hundreds of people, so many I lost count. What the fuck?

Imagine that scene. And I know this dude makes up a lot of shit, but after watching the vice documentary and other documentary footage of Liberian Civil War battles, I absolutely believe this insane mad max shit played out in real life. And actually, with this scene, you can find pictures online of Liberian child soldiers dressed up like they're going to Burning Man or some rave with AK-47s and machetes

running wild to the streets of Manerovia. It's nuts. Can you imagine living in a war-torn city like this? You're already afraid for your life. You've been here in gunfire every fucking day for years. You're used to it. You've acclimated as much as you can to life in this never-ending war zone. And then you see these motherfuckers. You see general butt naked. There's only weapons or a swing and dick and a machete. You see him cut up some kid, drink the kid's blood, pass the body around a child's soldiers dressed up like they're going to fucking Burning Man.

They cut some kids head off and kick around like a soccer ball. They're drunk, they're high, they're headed towards your house. And what do you do? Do you hide? Do you run? Do you try and fight? Do you kill yourself to avoid the whore they're high, they're headed towards your house. And what do you do? Do you hide? Do you run? Do you try and fight? Do you kill yourself to avoid the whore they're going to bring to you? I mean, this all sounds like a scene out of the walking dead.

Real life in the 90s, you know, in the 90s in Monroeville was scarier than most horror films. Like some real life perjure. Time traveling Karen would lose her mind if she witnessed any of this. Are you fucking serious? What oh my god? Who do you people think you are? What run around waving your guns and drinking kids blood? How dare you point that gun at me? Do you know who you're talking to? Do you know who you're talking to?

What kind of shit show civil war coup attempt? Are you running? Who's your manager? Who's you? That guy with the machete? Swinging his dick around? General butt naked? Hey, Mr. butt naked? I've got a bone to pick with you. Get your hands off me. I can't, you just cut my foot off, you dick.

They hurt. Are you drinking my blood? Are you fucking serious? For real, seriously though. This whole notion of child soldiers, how tragic. So many kids will fight in Liberia's civil wars. As many as 20,000 child soldiers fought in Liberia's civil wars, serving as spies, centuries, human mind sweepers,

soldiers of all other types. Most forcibly conscripted, you know, sometimes at gunpoint, at least many, others joined out of desperation, seeking food or physical protection. Many of Blyze's small soldiers, as he would call them, as young as only nine years old, according to some accounts, Blie mashed cocaine into their food, right? Just fucking drug them sneakily and then showed them John Claude Van Dam movies, trying

to convince them that war was just an act, right? So just, just, you know, just TV. He later said I tried to uproot their fear of death. Oh, come on, shoot those machines, guns, you know, coped up kiddos. That's all just a game. That's all just showbiz. Just fun, just fun, just fun, game, just pull that trigger. That's how I do it in Hollywood. Come on, we're just, we're just playing. And they're intoxicated states. These boys would walk into battle wearing flowing dresses, colorful wigs carrying, you know, those danty purses, looting from civilians. They would take ghoulish glee and display in their trophies, they would do shit like

post of victims head on a table set in the middle of a mangrove intersection. They'd create these little nightmare scenes and and bligh committed even more ghoulish acts. In his words, he describes how he selected random children to be sacrificed. He said, sometimes I would enter under the water where the children were playing. I would dive under the water, grab one, carry him under and break his neck. Sometimes I'd cause accidents. Sometimes I just slaughter them. You know, just casual, let's talk about killing kids. Between 1993 and 1995, a series of peace trees is signed in Benin, Ghana, and Nigeria to

end this nightmare, but none of them work. There's just too many warring factions, the fighting in atrocities continue. They keep mountain up. On April 6, 1996, the siege of Minerovia takes place and estimated 3000 people are killed that day when five factions converge in an intense battle. The crisis begins with the Council of State attempts to arrest Roosevelt Johnson, an ethnic crown and leader of the ULIMO Johnson branch. Another faction on murder charges, Johnson takes refuge in the military barracks of the former AFL, the Yulemoj, Liberian Peace Council, the LPC and remnants of the AFL, all largely

consisting of ethnic crown fighters rally at the Barracks, engaged the combined forces of the NPFL and the ULIMO Chroma branch. Just keeps like fracturing further and further out. Blind his small soldiers are set loose on the city. First, General Buttonaked goes to Robert's port for arms, the city about a four hour drive of the Liberian coast from Inrovia. Their General Buttonaked. I imagine he got his They're general button naked. I imagine he got his name because he fights naked.

I assume I did. I assume you figured that out if I did. He picks up a rocket propelled grenade, one M60 machine gun, two G3 machine guns, one AK-47, he has about 60 boys with him. He decides to move on to some ECO, MOG soldiers at the John F. Kennedy Hospital, the central government hospital Liberia. He he is boys find a dozen more weapons

there from there he brings his group to join forces with fighting men uh... of the library a peace council so many groups that's ridiculous they still need more weapons applied to science to hit up the ghanian contingent guarding the airport one of the men on his side roseville johnson offers the commander of the ghanian contingent ten thousand u. US dollars to turn over their arms. The commander turns

down the offer and Bly responds by bringing out a POW, General Domingo, and orders his boys to cut him into 50 pieces if they won't give them weapons. Doesn't mention whether or not his men actually cut the general up, but they do apparently get 72 weapons from the Ghanians. And then General Button Butt naked causes a lot of chaos across the city. One bystander, later reports, witnessing bligh, standing naked atop a truck during this battle covered in blood, holding an assault rifle in one hand, and some dudes dick in the other. It's severed dick.

Had to get himself a little good luck charm. And the ensuing days of chaos he has all sorts of other evil shit. He says at one point he kills a baby. He just grabs some little baby. Just some little newborn less than a year old baby by its legs and just bash it against the wall. He says the baby's brain and what Blight describes as everything inside the baby was used to cast the spirit of fear

on his enemies. He's out of his fucking mind. He thinks of stuff as pleasing as God and keeping him alive. At least that's what he says. Bly says it was shortly after the siege of Manrovia that his conversion to Christianity takes place. And this sounds like a story straight out of the Bible. He says he's about to fight in another battle. He's negotiating with the mother of a three-year-old girl to have this mom give him that little girl to be sacrificed. He says that she accepted

his request for some reason because of his spiritual influence. God, I hope that's not true. I hope someone didn't actually give him her three-year-old daughter to be sacrificed. What a fucking dark negotiation that is. How much for your daughter? I want a sacrifice there for protection and battle. Go fuck yourself, you monster. Go to hell. I'll give you $200 gap gift card and in the case of Cherry Coke. She's out back by the swing set. Good luck in your battle. Bly wrote that after a negotiation,

he took the little girl back to his soldiers, began his getting ready for battle sacrifice ritual. He opens up the girls back with a knife, literally rips out her heart, cuts it into pieces. The soldiers eat pieces of the little girl's heart. This is so fucking insane. Bly commands his men to get him some water to wash his hands. As you wait for them to return, he claims to have heard a voice behind him say, my son, why are you enslaving yourself?

I feel like the voice you said like, my son, what the fuck do you just do that? The baby you piece of shit. According to him, he turns around to see a very bright white light, and a 10-foot tall man with clouds around his feet. Mm-hmm. Clouds around his feet. Okay. The mysterious man tells him again that he's,

he's living his life as a slave and says, repent and live or refuse and die before he disappears. And then the apparition disappears. And then, you know, he goes into battle like normal. And then this time for the first time, in the battle, he's afraid to die. He's shaken up by some new feeling of fear, he goes into battle like normal. And then this time for the first time, in the battle he's afraid to die. He's shaken up by some new feeling of fear, he says. Sometime later Joshua says he's at his house

on Camp Johnson Road, he gets a knock at the door, opens it, he's the casualy dressed man who says, Jesus loves you, General. And apparently this guy is from the soul-winning Evangelical Ministries, a group that was active in Liberia during the war. He persuades Joshua to attend a meeting.

A few days later, some missionaries come over, bring him to this meeting. On the way, as he's crossing a road, who should show up with his old friend and God, Naya Gayway, right? The God that is such a big fan of his, the God thinks is a hero, his hero. And this God tries to persuade him not to go to the meeting, saying, you know, like he's disobeying the gods of his father. This is so weird. Dude, like what a weird thing to claim here. Like he's on the way to talk to a new god. And this old guy's like, come on, don't, don't, come on, no, please. Be a dick, come on, dude.

And then Josh would have said he discovers he has free will and he goes to the meeting anyway. He's like, I don't need you, old god, I got a new god. And then he sees an angel standing by the door. And then he's angels like, yeah, good job, buddy. And then he goes on in and the meeting is presided over by Pastor John Koonkoon. And Pastor John Koonkoon asks,

if anyone at the meeting wants to join the ministry. And Joshua says he has another vision of an angel. And this time he is transported. And he's out by some river, this angel. And this angel's talking to him. And this angel tells him he is the protector of everything. You know, because he's the by some river this angel and this angel talking to him and this angel tells him He is the protector of everything, you know, because he's the fucking best person ever. He's so important But Josh was still isn't fully on board and then the figure asks him if he remembers how

Nia gay away his old god told him he couldn't eat colon nuts and he was like, yeah, he did say that And then the figure tells him that colon nuts are totally totally fine to eat. You can touch them and eat them wherever you want. And if you go ahead, go eat them and you won't die. And that proves that Nigei was full shit. He's a false god. I thought we were done with colonnets in the story, by the way. A lot of colonnets in the story. Finally, this vision says to Joshua, go and tell the world about the vision you have

seen of me and tell them I truly exist. And then Joshua jumps up in church, he snaps out of his trance, he runs down the market and he says he eats 70 Liberian dollars worth of colonnets. And then nothing happens, he does even die. Probably gets a stomach ache though. And then he starts racing around saying, if you think I'm crazy, I'm crazy for Jesus, this is his worst. If you think of crazy, he is fucking crazy.

I think you're crazy about a lot more than Jesus. You fucking psychopath. How's it're crazy about a lot more than Jesus. You fucking psycho path. How's it on think any of this happened? I don't believe this story anymore than I believe this story about his old god telling that he's, you know, God's hero and the Eaton chalk in the fucking side of the rock or whatever. As Joshua is becoming a Christian and kicking his nasty habit of eating children, the first librarian civil war winds to a close. When the Aboujah Accord supplement is signed on August 17th, 1996, the Accord provides for immediate cease fire, disarmament of all combatants by the end of January,

1997, reintegration nationwide election scheduled for May of 1997 with an elected government to be installed by June 15th, 1997. The Accord also provides for sanctions for any faction, which does not comply with the terms of the peace accord sanctions include travel restrictions Exclusion from the electoral process and the establishment of a war crimes tribunal this accord finally leads to a real ceasefire and elections on July 19th 1997 after seven years of mayhem Charles Taylor is elected president of Liberia After campaigning on the slogan of he killed my mom he killed my pa

all vote for him seriously it's just fucking campaign slugged yeah i killed your parents but you still should vote for me this sounds this is how insane it is over there uh... this phrase is darkly ironic uh... tailors claiming to be the only leader powerful enough to prevent another war you need a psychopath like being charged to keep other psychopaths in line. Once in office, you know, it's more the same chaos.

Taylor uses the Liberian military to go after his enemies, including General Butt naked, fearing for his safety. Butt naked flees to Ghana, where for much the next 10 years, he will live in a refugee camp. There, he will lead, he will learn to read and write. He'll study the Bible. He'll deliver sermons in the camp and then later throughout other parts of Africa. 1999, Liberia descends into civil war again. A new rebel group, services in Liberia. Liberian united for reconciliation and democracy. Lured.

And lured's only political goal is to force Taylor out of office. The group received support from other exiled Liberian forces and other African countries, Europe and US, especially from the government of neighboring Guinea when Taylor then invades Guinea in 2000, fighting between lured and Taylor's forces will last until 2003. In early 2002, lured troops outmaneuver Taylor's forces end up just 27 miles from Enrovia.

Under leaders Kana and Thomas Nymly, Lerd troops mount successful raids that bypass government strongholds, and in May they stage a bold attack on Arthington, less than 12 miles from Inrovia. In early 2003, a second rebel group called the movement for democracy in Liberia, modal, backed by the government of the Ivory Coast emerges in the South to challenge the Taylor government as well. So many fucking groups fighting. I am so thankful. I do not live in a place like this.

I don't live in the midst of continual barbaric civil war and militia violence led by fucking psychopath warlords like General Buttonake. By May of 2003, Taylor now only controls about one-third of Liberia. Rebels are closing in on Menrovia from all sides. In July of 2003, Lerd forces reached the outskirts of Menrovia and began a siege of Liberia. Rebels are closing in on Minerva from all sides. In July of 2003, Lerd forces reached the outskirts of Minerva and began a siege of the capital. In the subsequent shelling of the city over 1,000 civilians are killed,

thousands more made homeless. On August 11, 2003, President Charles Taylor resigns and flees to exile in Nigeria. A week later, in August 18th, the Acro-Comprehensive Peace Agreement announces the forming of the national transition government of Liberia with Guide Bryant as president.

I'm sure I'll say his name. The second civil war is finally over after claiming over 300,000 lives, additional lives, more than the first civil war, you know, more lives on top of. The agreement also scheduled Liberia's first post-civil war national election for 2005. It is insane that over a million people die between the two wars. In the 2005 election, Ellen Johnson, Sir Leaf becomes the 24th president of Liberia and the first woman to lead in African nation. In 2007, but naked returns to Liberia.

And he found journeys against violence, a rehabilitation program for young men who fought in the civil wars. The Jav Rents a bright yellow, center block house in Manrovia in a suburb of Manrovia called Chocolate City. Sounds so nice. I love chocolate. But you couldn't pay me enough to live there. 18 young men all in their 20s or 30s live there sharing three small bedrooms, crammed with bunk beds.

Ernest Nelson, blise half brother is Javie's supervisor. Bly's mother works as a cook, one of the program's drivers is cousin. Javie requires abstinence from drugs and alcohol, enforces a regiment of daily prayer. On a sheet of paper taped to the wall of the common room are the 10 commandments of the house. It's up like no fighting, no food for lazy men. Is Bly good, dude now? I have my doubts. I think he just found a new way to make money. More on this later. In early 2008, black confesses to a lot of the terrible shit he did.

When he testifies it, the Liberian government's truth and reconciliation commission formed to bring justice to victims of the first and second civil wars. The proceedings are broadcast live across the country on radio and TV. Bly is the first former warlord to testify. At the beginning of the 132 minute hearing, they ask him a question, how many victims were there? The footage from the hearing show is Bly sitting there addressing these white trousers, white shirt, white shoes. He's traded the purple outfit

from when he used to sell Kool-Aid at the grocery store for the white one here. And he's just pondering this question like, how many had he killed? And he says, if I were to calculate, if you're talking about April 6th or throughout the war, or every evil I've done, it should not be less than 20,000. That's fucking the thing. During the course of two hours, he describes his role in the war. He says that he used human sacrifice and cannibalism to gain magical powers. He said, I needed to make human sacrifices to appease the said deities or the gods. Every town I entered, they would give me the chance to do my human sacrifices, which included innocent children.

The record of this hearing is kept on file in Liberia's National Archive. I hear some more of what was said. I recruited children who were nine or ten years old. Is this correct? He's asked? Yes. I planted violence into them. I explained to them that killing people was a game. Is this correct? He's asked. Yes. I planted violence into them. I explained to them that killing people was a game. Is this correct? Correct. When I shot and wounded an enemy, I would rip open his back and eat his live heart. Is this correct? Then he says, let me be more precise.

I also laid down the body and had my child's soldiers cut the person to pieces so they wouldn't have any feelings for people. This is what I didn't say in interrogation. Like, if this happened in the US or just like any country that wasn't like Mad Max, and had my child's soldiers cut the person to pieces so they wouldn't have any feelings for people. This is what I didn't say in interrogation. Like if this happened in the US, or just like any country that wasn't like Mad Max type shit, you imagine just like turning on C-SPAN or whatever, you know, just CNN, Fox News, whatever,

just hearing somebody, you ask questions like this, like a free person, a person doesn't even been arrested. And then they're, you know, they're asked like, so you ripped open heels back and ate their live hearts. Is that right? Actually, let me take it further. I would cut the person to pieces and I would have my child's soldiers eat all the pieces.

So they would hate people, okay? All right, good. I would clear that up. Then they ask, are you the same Joshua Blie? They now call Blie the Evangelist. Yes, ma'am. Why did you decide in light of this past to come to the truth and Reconciliation Commission? He says, for my faith, I was told that I should tell the truth and the truth will set me free.

Okay. He then tells a story of his conversion to Christianity, which took place shortly after the April 6th battle. You know, we saw the dude with the cloud feet and stuff. The commissioners apparently, and thrilled by Blize account, challenge a few of his claims. One of them comments, also, one of them seems to be impressed and says, you have a lot of good leadership qualities. What the fuck? How is this a real place? After all this, some commissioners like, hey, I like your story, dude. I'm not gonna lie.

I didn't care for the parts of 18 kids. Other than that, other than some of the raping you mentioned and the torture and the coconut up to kids, as young as nine to fight for you in battle and trick him with action movies, I like what you're about. Under your monstrous nightmare from hell, tough guy exterior, I think there's a good dude in there,

a really solid leader. In 2009, Liberia's Truth and Reconciliation Commission issues a 500 page report. It called for the creation of a war crimes court with the power to bring charges. It recommended the prosecution of 116 of the war's most notorious perpetrators, including Prince Johnson, that person who cut the years off after that coup. The report suggested 49 politicians who had supported rebel factions, including president Ellen Johnson, Sirleaf, a Nobel Peace Prize laureate.

They should be banned from holding public office for 30 years. Why her? Because Sirleaf admitted to providing $10,000 to Charles Taylor early in the war. Near the end of the report, the commission recommends pardoning, giving full pardons to 38 people, despite them having committed human rights violations for speaking truthfully before

the commission and expressing remorse for their prior actions. One of these pardons is General Butt naked. After all that shit he did, they're like, okay, I appreciate you telling the truth. And again, imagine that in another kind of way. Imagine like, if you finally catch Ted Bundy and it's like, listen, before you arrest me, can I just talk this out? Sure. Yeah, I fucking rape you.

You got a lot of people. But, I saw Jesus pop open a cloud, yeah. I fucking raped, we got a lot of people. But I saw Jesus pop open a cloud, you know? And I feel bad, and I wanna make things right. And they're like, okay, I like this guy. I like his leadership skills. Nobel Peace Prize laureate, who gave one shitty dude 10,000 or 10 grand before he showed himself

to be a really shitty dude, that person's not fit to lead. They want that person to ban from public office for 30 years. But the, but the guy who was the shittiest of shitty dudes. Good leader. Let's keep up the great work. Thanks for being honest. 2011, a documentary comes out called the Redemption of General Butt Naked. I've seen this movie, Brenda Weber, a devout Christian from Walnut, Illinois, who managed, who managed a small pharmacy with her husband contacted, blind, Facebook, they talked several times on the phone. I could tell that he was genuine.

She says later, I knew that he wasn't the same person, it was a totally different man. Shortly after, she found a small, non-profit specifically to support Blaiseworth. This is when I mentioned earlier that I don't really buy all this, I feel like he's still a con artist. This is the main evidence, I think why. She provides most of the money to rent a house, the house in chocolate city, and to buy food, bunk beds, and supplies for it. Beginning in 2012, Weber starts sending in buy around $800 a month. Half is meant to cover food for his outreach program. The other half is for him personally. Other American donors also now start giving money they go to blind his staff and we're as money might not sound like a lot

but even if just the four hundred dollars a month were being kept for blind his family and he was using the rest for good purposes uh... the average librarian is just thirty eight dollars a month this is actually a lot of money he's getting for his you know compared to people around him after a year we're gives him so much money she she wipes out her family's $40,000 savings. So I think she ended up giving him a lot more than $800 a month.

At one point, Weber took out a $50,000 line of credit and sold some of her coach handbags to garage sale to keep supporting General Budnaykin. She said later, I know everything's gonna be fine. You can't give and give like that and not get something in return. Yeah, you can. Now you can't, Brenda.

You can when you get conned. April 26, yeah, you can. Now, you can't, Brenda. Uh, you can't when you get conned. April 26, 2012, the special court for Sierra Leone finds Liberia's former president, Charles Taylor guilty of aiding and abetting war crimes and crimes against humanity in the first ever international judgment against a former head of state. presiding judge Richard Lusik said Thursday that 64 year old warlord term president Taylor provided arms ammunition communications equipment and planning to rebels responsible for countless atrocities in the 1991 to 2002 Sierra Leone Civil War.

Dude finally getting into lots of trouble and not even for anything he didn't Liberia. This is also crazy. Well all this insane shit has been going on in Liberia equally insane shit has been going on next door in Sierra Leone. Lusik calls the support sustained and significant Taylor, please not guilty to 11 counts including murder rape terror and conscripting child soldiers Among the atrocities detailed that he helped commit was the beheading of civilians Apparently victims heads were often displayed by Taylor's men at checkpoints on one occasion a man was killed publicly disemboweled and

His intestines were stretched across the road to form another checkpoint. Fuck! Taylor was the first former head of state to face judgment in an international court on war crimes since judges in Nuremberg convicted the admiral who led Nazi Germany for a brief period following Hitler's suicide. And he was sentenced to 50 years in prison. 72 years old now, he's still behind bars in Britain and incarcerated at HM Prison, Franklin,

in County Durham, England. And he's still fucking with Liberia from prison. In January of 2017, it was found that he had been making phone calls from the prisons to provide guidance to the National Patriotic Party and to threaten his enemies. What about General Butt naked? What's he up to? In an article in The New Yorker, they talk about what Blies doing now. He preaches the word of God,

visits the families of his victims, seeking forgiveness. He lives in New Georgia estate, a suburb of Manrovia. His house is mustard colored and modest with a flickering power supply and no running water. And sadly, that's like one of the nice houses for this area. And though he's still running Javis, some of the people, the reporter interviewed for the

article seemed to doubt that its legit is everyone says it is. They say, Bly seems more concerned with his image than residents actual problems. One Jav resident of the house pulled a reporter aside told him that Bly was misappropriating the program's money for his own benefit, not surprised. Sometimes the young man said the residents of the house went without breakfast or their meals would consist of plain rice, which is salt and pepper. When Western reporters would arrive, they would be given better food, blind his staff would say, okay, stand in front of the camera and tell them this and that. Tell them that you're a Joshua Blie beneficiarist.

And then he says, but what have I benefited? So is this guy telling the truth? I have no clue. But if I had to guess, I'd say you probably is. Yeah, Blie is still preaching. I do have to give him some credit here. I guess he is trying to apologize to his victims and article from March of this year reported that Bly urged the Liberian government to take a more proactive role in punishing former warlords because otherwise the families and friends of the victims would come, would come after them creating a cycle of violence. According to him, true and lasting freedom can only be actualized in Liberia if people

are made to pay, including him for their unlawful actions perpetrated against peaceful citizens. He said, I see the establishment of the war crime court as a support against violence. I am here to give me and my organization support for justice in this country. Many people may think that I am confused or crazy. Ding, ding, ding, I do. But if this is a step, but if this step is a step of confusion, then I will embrace it.

I have a parable that I always project. If a man went out to steal and angry, and an angry crowd is running behind him, if he had his wife and children home, running to his house is not the best place because the angry crowd will kill his children. The best thing is to give yourself up so that the anger of the people you have

hurt will not reach your children. Okay, I'll give them some credit there, right? That's a nice, you know, theoretical amends to make buddies, you know, he's still free, so we'll see if this actually happens. And with that, maybe a little bit of an uplifting note, let's hop out of this timeline. Good job, soldier. You've made it back. Barely. And what a crazy story. I deviated from the notes more than usual, just because I have a watch and more than I need it for this episode. I hope that didn't make it distracting, but it's just so wild that button A can still free, walking around free Never you know incarcerated for admitting all that insane shit You know, he's completely owned up to killing fellow life librarians many of them children

Is there any chance that eventually Joshua blight and other warlords like him will will face any real punishment? probably not So I think those you know nice words He says at the end of the timeline probably a little hollow because I think he's smart enough And know that he's not actually ever going to get in trouble Liberia does not even seem able to be or to be able to to stick to the idea that former warlords should not be in politics Much less be apprehended in 2011 Liberia's supreme court ruled that the proposals remove politicians involved in war crimes from office was Unconstitutional. Ah come on. They couldn't some work crimes, sure. But I was a couple years ago. Creating a work crimes court in Liberia

would require the approval of the legislature in which Prince Johnson, the ear cutter and other former warlords still serve, and would result in the prosecution of a sizable portion of the country's rulers. So it's never gonna happen. Many Liberians now enjoy relative security compared to the Civil War days,

fear that such an overhaul could plunge the country back into chaos and conflict. So nobody really wants it. There's peace, but there is also so much poverty in Liberia, so the peace is always fragile and they don't want to fuck with it. What about lies, former child soldiers and other former Liberian child soldiers? What are they up to now? What does being a child soldier do to a meat sack brain that isn't fully developed yet? More than 38,000 children are estimated to have taken part in Liberia's wars as fighters, porters, ammunition carriers, cooks, sex slaves sometimes. What they saw and did still six with them today, of course, when they're somewhere between 25 and 40 years old now, they're living with just about the worst memories one can have.

One study of the mental health effects of the intertwined wars in Liberia and Sierra Leone found that the atrocities these child soldiers committed including included intentional hacking off of limbs, which we mentioned earlier, with these kids, you know, did in the war, carving the initials of rebel factions into victim skin. This one's real bad. Slottering pregnant women to bet on the gender of the unborn child. Use of young girls as human sacrifices, numerous people have reported they were forced to cut, cook, eat, and serve human flesh, and internal organs, including those of their own parents and infants, holy shit. How does one ever recover from something like that? Countless numbers of children and teenagers forced to watch the torture, rape, brutal murders of

their parents and siblings. In many cases, family members, including children were forced to rape, murder, and mutilate each other. It was hell, it was hell on earth. During these acts, victims were forbidden to show any emotion, or in many cases were commanded to laugh. In some instances, people who shed tears and responds to these atrocities were punished by being permanently blinded. In the aftermath of the war, the government and Western aid agencies created programs to help former child soldiers re-enter society, but many have been unable, as you can imagine, to build normal lives, especially the girls and women

whose soldier past is seen by sexist, librarian society as more of a social transgression. While many male commanders negotiated government positions after the war female combatants have largely been excluded from that process. Today, many of the women who went to war are shunned, they live in slums, scraping by for survival, often by becoming sex workers, for just a few dollars, a day in terrible brothels like the one I described earlier in West Point. Lena Cotillion from the University of Turquoo in Finland, who was conducting a study on the reintegration of former girl soldiers found that almost half of those she interviewed were involved in prostitution, almost half. Most of them in ghettos throughout Manrovia.

Some of them are so destitute and disempowered that they don't believe they are human beings anymore, she says. In a study on child soldiers in neighboring Sierra Leone, Theresa of Betencourt, an associate professor at the Harvard School of Public Health found that the psychological toll was greater on girls who had significantly higher levels of depression and anxiety than boys. Violence against women was so endemic during the civil wars that some surveys that up to 90% of Liberia's girls and women during those years were raped, even girls acting as soldiers. In addition to their military duties, girls with the armed groups were raped and sexually enslaved by the fighters. One girl who spoke with human rights watch, 14 at the time of her abduction, was raped

by many, many fighters and then later assigned to a warlord to be his wife. Girl fighters collectively known as wives, whether attached to a particular soldier or not. Some older girls were able to avoid sexual abuse by capturing other girls and offering them up for sexual slavery. So crazy that this shit was going on while I was having the time of my life in college. And the world truly is not fair. Like, fuck books like the secret and other bullshit about how you just got to will it just good intentions you just got to will stuff into your life. The power of positivity is real. The power of positive thinking is

real. Hard work does increase your odds for success in life tremendously but if you're stuck in Liberia, if you're born in Liberia a few years before these civil wars went down, you were just fucked. You were mother fucked. So what psychological effects are many people Liberia currently suffering from? According to a paper published by the Carth Center for Human Rights Policy at Harvard University, causing children to fight in war is basically abusing a child in three different ways at once, corrupting them, terrorizing them, and isolating them. The corruption of a child is a form of abuse achieved by making the child engage in destructive

and or anti-social behavior. You know, encouraging them to engage in acts of killing, destruction, sabotage. As a consequence of corruption, the child becomes unable to engage in normal social experiences. Another form of abuse is the terrorization of a child, the fear of running for their life, the feelings of hunger, thirst, and pain that children too often experience an armed conflict. Also constitute forms of terrorization.

Among military ranks, terrorization is often guys as a form of discipline. Being subject to strict military discipline during childhood constitutes psychological abuse. Isolating a child from his or her normal social experience, estranging him or her from normal family life and schooling, emotional abuse. In the life of a child soldier,

children constantly find themselves in a position that breaks down dichotomies between civilian and combatant, victim and perpetrator, initiate and initiate it, protect it and protect her. With these multiple in-between positions, child soldiers simultaneously bear multifaceted identities and develop the lack of a permanent, stable and socially

defined place. Psychological consequences induced by these forms of abuse, range from PTSD, major depression, pathological anxiety, and other forms of psychological distress. This makes child soldiers one of the most complex traumatized populations among children and adolescents. It is very hard for them to reintegrate back into society after the fighting stops in any meaningful and positive way. Hard drug use is rampant in Liberia today. Especially heroin, of course it is. Anything to forget these nightmares.

Okay, let's wrap up all this insanity now. General but naked was a cannibal who preferred to sacrifice children and babies because he believed that their deaths promised him the greatest amount of magical protection. He went into battle naked often carrying only a machete because he believed his Sacrifices and fighting naked made him bulletproof and he was in fact never hit by a single bullet He corrupted his small soldiers so badly. They do shit like make bets on whether a pregnant woman was carrying a boy or a girl and slid up in the belly to see who was right. During during the Liberian Civil Wars, Civil Wars reporters brought home photos of child

soldiers wearing Halloween masks and women's wigs eating human hearts, decorating streets, intersections with bones, other macabre displays, blipa- blipa- ha ha! Blipaid, a big role in all of this. And he's never faced punishment for what he did. Few people in the world have ever been accused of atrocities like blip. And none of them have ever responded to the accusations against him in the same way he did.

When he testified in the Liberian National Television, blip had no problem admitting to doing shit like eating kids. Unsurprisingly, not everyone believes the Joshua Blie is truly the man of God he says he is now. Nikolai Lidau, an independent scholar who wrote a doctoral dissertation at Stanford about Liberian rebel groups, says that Blie is a brilliant self-promoter

who translated his notoriety from the war into personal game. All right, he just, he's playing up these stories to make money. Now, he's also clearly made a lot of stuff up to promote a story, including all that shit about being, you know, God's hero. Now, God's hero doesn't put on purple clothes and sell cool late with a grocery store and then eat kids. Apply, even told a few of his patrons that Steven Spielberg met him in Monroevia offered him $900,000 for the rights to his life story.

And then he turned down the offer because the director wanted to temper the religious aspects of his biography later a journal journalist fact check this with uh... marvin levy spielberg spokesperson and levy said stand or seven has never heard of it yet no fucking way seven spielberg's just you know gonna have a meeting with a former warlord who ate kids in Minerovia. Could he be a good guy, a real redemption story, maybe, but I doubt it. Blyde does seem to be using at least some of his resources to rehabilitate former child soldiers and help them out, but then again, he's also probably misappropriating a lot of those funds. Personally, I think he's just exploiting his former soldiers in a new way now. I also think it might be a long time before I ever visit Liberia.

Parts have been rovey and the rest of the country do look truly beautiful. And I'm sure many people live wonderful lives there. But after learning what we've learned today, probably not going to add it to my travel bucket list anytime soon. Time now for today's top five takeaways. Time suck. Top five takeaways. Number one, Joshua Blie, aka General Buttnaken, was just one of many warlords that terrorized

Liberia during the first Liberian Civil War which lasted from 1989 to 1997, with his army of cocaine-fueled child soldiers who terrorized cities and towns performing human sacrifices, eating human flesh, and of course fighting naked, because he thought that would make him immune to bullets. What the world? We live in. Number two, despite all the fucked up shit he's done and blind now claims to be a man of God. He's been active in establishing a rehabilitation center. He gets money from Christian donors across the world. And it might all be a scam. He's running so he can keep getting recognized and keep making money.

Number three, warlords have existed long before Africa's recent civil wars. You can bet that with meat sacks, wherever there is a power vacuum, someone will step in to fill it and buy any means necessary. 4. Blime and many other Liberian warlords will probably never face justice for the many thousands of people they killed in tortured. There simply is not the infrastructure for it in Liberia. And some of the people who would need to pass the laws to make that happen are the former

warlords themselves. Number five, new info. Mr. Buttonake far from the first person to put kids into an army during the Napoleonic Wars, so-called powder monkeys, boys as young as 10 helped arm cannons for the British Navy. In 1863, Congress awarded the Medal of Honor to a 13-year-old Union soldier in the United States. Kids have fought in battles for thousands of years, and it wasn't until after the Second World War that international norms began to really shift away from child soldiers. By 1977, the Geneva Conventions prohibited recruiting anyone under the age of 15 into an

armed force. Nevertheless, child soldiers continued to be used throughout the world. And if you're a warlord, living inside the blood and chaos of a place like Liberia in the 90s, what the fuck do you care about Geneva conventions? Militia commanders continue to consider kids to be ideal fighters, cheap, nimble, and psychologically malleable. Time suck, tough, five take away. General butt naked has been sucked.

That to me was one of the most fascinating topics we've covered all year. Wow, Liberia, thank God it is compared to the Civil Wars relatively calm now. What a crazy place that must have been to live for so many years. Thank you to the Bad Magic Productions team for all the help making time, so Queen of Bad Magic, Lindsey Cummins, Reverend Dr. Joe Paisley, the script keeper, Zach Flannery, Sophie Fax, source for his Evans, Biddellixer, Logan Keith, the art warlock, running Bad Magic merch.com and the socials along with Liz Hernandez. Thanks to all those who've joined the Cult of the Curious, private Facebook group, moving towards 25,000 members now who continue to make time suck a community, praise about

jangles. Thanks to Liz and her all-seeing eyes running the Colt the Curious Facebook page and thanks to beef steak and the mod squad for keeping discord fun for over 8500 over there having a good time. And thanks to all you spaces who's playing the time suck trivia game on the time suck app, a Bode 210 just one round five with 7,700 points. And you got a cool trophy certificate trivia champion t-shirt and fifty dollars in an emerge gift certificate next week just in time for Christmas another killer awkward timing. I know don't blame me blame the space lizards they voted it in we'll have a year end wrap up and a little inspiration the following week but next week we discuss the Craigslist killer

there's really was Philip markov and Philip liked the internet. Maybe a little too much. On the surface, Philip was a nice enough guy, second year med school student with a fiance in a Megan, good family, bright future ahead of him, a six foot three straight A student who'd finished undergrad in just three years. He seemed like a decently well-adjusted, very intelligent guy. But his internet browsing history would show a different side of him. Behind the scenes without Megan or his family knowing Philip was leading a secret life.

He had an addiction to poker and gambling online. He was uploadin' profiles to sexual fetish websites. He was using Craigslist to lure women working as sex workers into hotel rooms and he would rob some of these women, kill another before authorities, caught on to him and brought his secret life out into the open. Calling in Craig's list killer while a catchy moniker Not that accurate really make something like a serial killer He was not a serial killer believed to only killed one person. Not that that's not terrible But not a serial killer. We're gonna use this story to dive into some of the other people who've perpetrated a relatively

New genre of crime internet homicides Just how unsafe can the internet be? It seems like every year the old rules about keeping safe, like don't give out your personal information, don't get into a stranger's car, go a little further out the window. Not getting into someone's car, just as not as relevant in the age of Uber.

Not meeting up with a stranger would mean that Tinder's entire business model would collapse. Does this new technology make life more convenient? For sure, does it also open us up to people who might not have the more convenient for sure? Does it also open us up to people who might not have the best intentions for us? Yes, also true. The story of Philip Markov's life in misdeeds, internet homicide, and more next week on Time Suck, and now let's head on over to this week's Times Sucker Updates. After all that darkness, let's kick off things with some good news. From a marvelous midsack, working towards ending the current pandemic, Courtney Coolis,

Courtney Wrights, Hailmaster of all, Suckin' Them. Don't know if this is the right place, but I just wanted to give a quick COVID update. It is the right place, Courtney. Yeah, thanks for sending in your update to both jangles at Times.podcast.com. Courtney continues, I work at a facility called Catalanth, Catalanth in Indiana. We produce mainly injectable medicines such as vaccines and various other drugs

that would be injected directly into the patient, via a syringe, or given intravenously. On top of all that, we are also the only producer of one of the major COVID vaccines. It is so close to being released to the public, and the whole facility got put into a bunch of over time so we can get this medicine out to all the meat sacks that needed. I love my job because it allows me to work on something that actually helps people when they need it the most, and right now the world really needs this. Sending out all the good vibes, hope I can get some and return your fellow meat sack Courtney, PS,

if this by some miracle, makes it into the show, can you give a shout out to my boyfriend, Seth. We don't see each other during the week as we both work different shifts, but we both listen to time stock whenever we can. Seth, I love you more than anything. Also, if this does make it to the show, I know my name looks simple and it kind of is,

but I'm German and Polish, so it's pronounced cool-ness. The is is like kiss or hiss. Thanks, love the show, keep doing what you're doing. Well, thank you, Courtney. If you wouldn't have put that pronunciation guide at the end there, but I'd copy for the front, I would have blew it. You keep doing what you're doing. Thanks for the overtime.

Sounds like you're a lucky man, Seth. Courtney sounds fantastic. Looking forward to having that vaccine roll out soon. I'm sure we'll be talking about anti-vaxxers again when many undoubtedly will refuse to take it. But I do think the overwhelming majority of people will. Oh, and everyone, please do not write the word Polish in your messages in the subject line

or just in the body or anywhere. I set something on my computer to have any message with that word go straight into junk mail. You get it. Now for some interesting thoughts on religion and update to something I said on last week's Dark Ages suck from Top Shelf Sack and Kool-Ace Pastor Mike Moffit.

Mike writes, hey, since I know you have nothing better to do than to read my emails and think about how Tacoma is your favorite city of all time. Mike lives in Tacoma where I've met him. And time suck makes me think about things like how Anton Leve privately believed in God, and in the nature of prophetic revelation, I wanted to add a quick thought to the question you asked on the Dark Ages suck. What if all the ancient proclaimers of God's revelations were no different

than modern cult leaders we so enjoy mocking and marveling at? I learned a lot about this from teaching world religions for 11 years, a couple quick guidelines for this question. When discussing world religions always avoid the world, always avoid the word always, never say never. You get it, avoid superlatives. The reason is that there are just too many nuances and subtleties amongst world religions and philosophies to be able to sweep them all under one category. Could anyone with intellectual integrity

actually place Moses, Jesus, Muhammad, etc. in the same category as David Kuresh or the Alamos? But comparing them is the right first step because a tree is known by its fruit. Okay, I show my bias on this one since that's a quote from Jesus, but I've had students trying to compare Muhammad to Jesus on the basis that they were both founders of new religions. Your excellent question about the criteria by which we judge such founders or co-leaders who saw themselves as doing the same is basically doing the same. Consider the human desire for power, the human desire for wealth, the human desire for fame, and the human desire for legacy.

Then weigh any religious leader, founder, or even co-leader against these criteria. How much do these human tendencies guide the founder? Your co-leaders all guided 100% by them. But can we say the same for all the other religious trailblazers in history? Again, my bias is that Jesus exemplified true witness to God because he was guided by none of those potentially destructive human tendencies. Check out his bio, aka the Gospels. I could be wrong, but would love the dialogue. By the way, the Buddha, one might suggest,

is in the same category as Jesus on these criteria, but he's different in that he didn't bear witness to any sort of God or gods. So in the Dark Ages suck, I think what you identified was the corruption of the church in the Dark Ages and not the corruption of Jesus. The irony in suggesting Jesus might be no different from any corrupt religious charlatan is the fact

that the only reason we can identify the church's corruption is by observing how far it strays from the character of God as revealed by Jesus himself. Okay, I'm done. Annie Oakley warmed my heart. The dark ages cooled it right off again. Shit moats though had me laughing out loud. Great name for a punk band.

Peace, Pastor Mike, University of Place, Washington. Well, thank you for a punk band, peace, pastor Mike, university plays Washington. Well, thank you for your thoughts, pastor Mike. They are always excellent. You've laid out some great comparative criteria, but here's my dilemma. I wish we had more info about Jesus and Muhammad and other ancient religious figures. Speaking about Jesus and Muhammad,

the only real info we have, the gospels and the Quran, and that's the only thing we have to make comparisons with, I wish we had like, you know, the only real info we have, the Gospels in the Quran, and that's the only thing we have to make comparisons with. I wish we had like, you know, date line exposés on them and vice documentaries and Netflix docuseries and numerous biographies and interviews of them, direct interviews that we could watch on YouTube. That would make a comparison so much easier because we would know them so much better. Did Jesus care about power, fame, wealth, and legacy,

not according to the gospels, but gospels, but how much of the gospels really encapsulate all the years of life that he led? I wish I knew. I admire your faith, Pastor Mike. If it continues to give you peace and happiness and make you the good, caring dude, you've always seemed to be when I've met you.

I hope you always keep it. Thanks for giving us all more to think about and consider. Now for a funny story about the Dark Ages Suck, a little funny story that the Dark Ages Suck made Super Sucker John Carney think about. John Wright Suck Master Flex, the middle ages Suck reminded me of one of our best family stories. First off, this story could have been sent into Is We Dumb.

Thanks for mentioning Is We Dumb here. My podcast with Mr. Paisley, but since it is about my in-laws time suck was a safer option, it could also have been sent to the secret suck for the immigration challenge. My wife's family escaped from Vietnam in the late 70s. My shit you not, their boat was attacked by pirates. That's a story from another time. Maybe cultural differences played a part in this story that we refer to as breakfast soup. My wife's parents don't get out much. For our wedding, they came out to visit and time. Maybe cultural differences played a part in this story that we refer to as breakfast soup. My wife's parents don't get out much. For our wedding, they came out to visit and stayed at a local hotel near our home. They came from Arizona to California with my wife's

sister and her husband. In the morning, my sister-in-law gets a phone call from her mom as she was enjoying the complimentary breakfast at the hotel. There was an urgent tone in her voice. She said, quick, come downstairs before it's all gone. They have breakfast soup It's kind of like clam chowder, but with little pieces of meat in it My sister-in-law still half asleep thought it was strange to have such a thing at a breakfast bar as a beautiful daughter She got dressed went downstairs when she got there. She saw that her parents had consumed several bowls of gravy And they were enjoying another yes,, you read that right, gravy. As you know, as in biscuits and gravy,

but without the biscuits. I can only imagine what the staff thought at the end of the breakfasts when they saw empty, an empty gravy trough and a full basket of biscuits. The story makes my wife and I laugh. Every time we hear the words, breakfast soup. Hail, Nimrod, keep on suck. And don't change a thing.

Three out of five stars, spaces are John, Karne, yes. Karne, as in circus folk, at least I'm not Polish. I love the picture you paint so much, John. At a salarious. Just down there in the lobby, eating bowls of gravy for breakfast. Some breakfast soup. Medieval peasants would have been overjoyed to eat that sweet gravy. Sounds a bit heavy for me. And I like biscuits and gravy for sure. But just a bowl, several bowls of sausage gravy. Don't think I'd get a lot done that day. Now for some time, suck trivia advice.

I found this really interesting. From super sucking trivia wizard and winner, Bodie, Bodie writes, hey guys, space is your Bodie here. Wanted to drop Dan and Joe some proskills tips on how to get awesome trivia scores without needing to cheat. I've been doing pretty well in the scoring

when trivia began, but started getting really serious about a half or a through October. Things started getting close, so I figured I needed to reevaluate my tactics, which up until that point weren't really anything. Here's what I do. I listen to the suck, it work on Mondays. I would usually just listen to the episode and take the quiz, but being at work, my hands were usually wet.

I wasn't wearing my glasses. So I came up with a better way of doing things, pro skills time. I listened to both of the trivia episodes on Mondays So the yeah, the one the new one and then the old one that has the the questions from that week. I Don't worry about the trivia when I get home. I will usually listen to one of the episodes again on my computer with a show notes up And he sent pictures showing this system listing show notes a show notes up on a screen So I'm reading along to reinforce the information to my head.

Now I skipped the ads, the jokes, the tangents, because I've already heard them. I won't get distracted with the misdirects. As soon as the episode is done, I take the quiz on my phone. I make sure the phone is out of the case, flat on the table. I love the detail. So it doesn't wobble. I'll have a certain hand position using both hands

to select answers and press the next arrow. I'm a gamer, so I have pretty fast reflexes in general. I've always been hands to select answers and press the next arrow. I'm a gamer So I've pretty fast reflexes in general. I've always been able to read quickly so that helps more So that's how I do it not really sure about anyone else's setup. That is fucking phenomenal I'm not really writing this to be read in the podcast Well, it is just to share the info with you guys also. I'm an admin for bow jangles pets So we've decided that we are going to adopt the cowboy pigeon trophy as the group's mascot I'm gonna be setting up a poll in the group to decide his name. So I

would get a kick out of that. And Joe, I wish you could have seen just how badly my fiance was totally fan-girling. When she found out it was actually Joe Paisley, she was playing Call of Duty with last night. I've never seen her lose her shit like that. It was so hilarious. Anyways, we love you guys. Keep up the good work on all the podcasts. We'll continue to spread this stuff. Keep on sucking. Bode PS, we are Dan has totally become a thing now. Thank you, Bode. Holy shit, that is dedication.

You need to get on Jeopardy. That is awesome about the Bojangles Pets group. Hope that cowboy pigeon gets a sweet name. Maybe Terry Firebox. And the Dan Facebowl profile pic. Just go in kind of viral in the group. Hilariously culty. So fucking weird.

I love how ridiculous it is. You're all are very hilarious and congrats on winning Bowdie. Yeah. I'm glad you had fun. Your wife had fun playing with Joe on Call of Duty. And yeah, I was going to answer one more thing, but then I remembered it's coming up. I was thinking of another Time suck update now some wacky doodle madness and inspiration from survivor sucker Ashley Dixon who writes

Firstly, I'm so very sorry. I was recently at a bar while visiting Savannah, Georgia and sat next to as far as COVID would let the bar Sit us a stranger He started talking to his friends about insectoids and reptilian people. I laughed a bit, asked to be listened to time suck. He said he hadn't. Then I went on about how awesome this podcast was, about how the hilarious host talks about lizard people who supposedly ruled the world.

This is where my encounter went awry. He started to tell me about, this is not funny in some ways, but it is, he started to tell me about how his doctor saw he had moderates, gets a friend here, but he knew the truth. He didn't need to be on meds. These people were giving him

because he really was part lizard. It was then I turned to my boyfriend and I, they helped me. The strange lizard person asked me about the podcast again. I told him, yes, you had the name correct, and he said he would check it out. This is where my apology comes in. You are probably going to get a very angry email and a damning review on whichever platform

he listens to podcasts on. Again, super duper sorry. Secondly, I'm new to the suck. I'm listening to the backlog to catch up. I hope I never do because I hope this awesomeness keeps going. I recently listened to triumph over unbelievable tragedy and it hit a chord. Three years ago, I was diagnosed with lung cancer. Despite the fact that I've never smoked a day in my life,

I'm the only person in my family that doesn't smoke and I get lung cancer. Despite the fact that I've never smoked a day in my life, I'm the only person in my family that doesn't smoke, and I get lung cancer. Life dealt me a shitty hand, but it turned everything around for me. I took a long hard look at my life, and in the middle of the physical and financial tribulations, I turned my life around. I left an abusive relationship, published a book, found strength I never knew I had. I'm three years away from cancer now, still struggling with the after effects. You're done with cancer, but it's not always done with you. I lost a job I love because I physically couldn't do the work anymore. I had to drop out of college due to a reduced income dealt with physical problems.

I started to go on me at one point, but then deleted it because I didn't have social media to promote it. All the problems I'm struggling with aside, I have also found a life I greatly enjoy. I'm going back to school soon. So if you need research, this future, research helped, this future history teacher has got your back. I found a man that loves me and shows it shows every day, I found a job that appreciates the hard work I put into it, also a couple awesome podcasts to listen to while I go about my day, creeper for life. What all these unnecessary words adds up to are fuck cancer and be glad to each and every day you woke up.

That's awesome. Sorry for the long message, but that one hit home. If you could please suck the healthcare system in this country and whether or not national healthcare would fix all of our problems. That would be great. Hail Nimrod. Thanks for all the fun. PS, what is the name of Joe's band? I'm a little bit of a metalhead and would love some new rock.

That's the question I was thinking of earlier about answering. Great message, Ashley. No apologies necessary. I hope your new lizard friend writes a hilariously negative review that would amuse me greatly. Congrats on kicking cancer in the dick, fighting to improve your life, how inspiring. Glad you're in such a good place. Thanks for the research offer where we've got good support at the moment, but you know, you never know when you're going to need more help. And Joe's band is Maretta. Not for me, but some people like it. Jekky! Ha, gosh dang. You'll love him. You'll love him. Now, seriously, check out Maretta and Big Pharma and the healthcare system is a sock.

We have to do some day, absolutely. And you should know the possibilities like socialized medicine. Now, I'm gonna end on some local love from a rural Northwest meat sack like myself, Amanda Woods. Amanda writes, hello to the one with too many titles and nicknames, fair. I've been slowly making my way through time suck and all of the scared of death podcasts. I just wanted to say that it's really cool

and honestly inspiring to listen to someone who is also from the area where I grew up, I'm from Baker, hearing for the first time that you were from Riggins Shocked Me. No one is from the middle of nowhere. All we have is guns and force fires. Listen to someone pronounce things the same way I do has been way more fun than it should be.

I'm so glad. It's a small inconsequential thing to be from the same general area, but it's a nudge of encouragement towards my own success during the time when every little bit of encouragement helps. Thank you for the time when every little bit of encouragement helps. Thank you for the inspiration and thank you for keeping my brain occupied while I work tedious nights as an essential worker.

I stalk shelves. It's not exactly glamorous. Most of all, thanks for sucking. Three out of five stars. Hail Lucifina, shout out to the queen. Thank you, Amanda. I'm guessing you're from the Metropolis of Baker City. Very similar culture to Riggins,

even if some in Riggins would consider you to be living in the big city, a whopping 10,000 city folk. I've driven through Baker City many times, very cute town. I'm glad that you understand why I talk like I do. You get it. We live in the land of Moshmiles.

Happy you enjoy the connection. Happy able to provide a little inspiration. I hope it serves you well. Keep on stocking Amanda and all of you. Keep on sucking. Thanks, time suckers. I need a net. We all did. More bad magic productions content come on the rest of the week. Spooks with scared of death, late Tuesday night. Silling this with Is We-Dum, Wednesday's noon Pacific time, please do not recruit an army of

coaked up child soldiers this week and pressure them to eat other children. It is so much easier to just keep on sucking. [♪ music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background, music playing in background Are you fucking serious?