Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 262 - The Jehovah's Witnesses: Doomsday Cult

Episode Date: September 20, 2021

I'm guessing you know of the Jehovah's Witnesses. You've heard of them. Maybe you've noticed their "Kingdom Halls." Maybe they've knocked on your door. But - do you really know anything about them? Before this week, I didn't. Now that I do, I will NEVER look at them the same way again. The Jehovah's may not live on a compound, but, in my opinion they are a dangerous doomsday cult. Their continual focus on impending Armageddon has hurt so, so many lives. And so has their "Two Witness Rule." The Governing Body of the Witnesses pressure congregations to not go to the police with criminal accusations, including rape and sexual abuse. Instead, Witnesses are told to take accusations to congregational elders who record the accusations confidentially. And elders are told that if two or more people didn't witness the crime occur, then it essentially didn't happen. These policies have led to the creation of what's believed to be the largest database of pedophiles ever - pedophiles the organization has provided a safe haven. Known predators have even been paired with future victims to go preach the "truth" door-to-door. The truth is, the Jehovah's Witnesses are an incredible unlikable organization. I lay out their history, their beliefs, and their most shameful policies on another Cult! Cult! Cult! edition of Timesuck. We're donating $15,400 this month to the American Nurses Foundation Coronavirus Response Fund for Nurses. This Covid response fund provides mental health support, direct financial aid, education, evidence-based information, and overall advocacy for nurses. To learn more: https://www.nursingworld.org/foundation/programs/coronavirus-response-fund/ Watch the Suck on YouTube: https://youtu.be/oJBO7qetpKkMerch - https://badmagicmerch.com/ Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89v Want to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever current page hasn't been put in FB Jail :) For all merch related questions/problems: [e-mail] (copy and paste) Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcast Wanna become a Space Lizard? We're over 10,000 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcast Sign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits.

Back on July 13th this year, I got an email from a former Jehovah's Witness name Savannah. I'll share a bit of her story at the end of this episode in the updates. She told me about how the Jehovah's Witnesses encourage the terrible practices of dyspheloship and shunning how they destroy families, how they turn a blind eye towards rape and child abuse, how there is this crazy to witness rule that allows for so, so much abuse to go unpunished. I was shocked by what Savannah was writing. I knew almost nothing about Jehovah's Witnesses. Other than that, they were mostly known for bothering people

by showing up at their door to spread the good word. Other than that, I had not heard anything negative about them. So I started googling, looking around, could not believe how many documentaries and exposés about them there are out there, how many former witness support group websites there are, how many websites there are devoted to tracking, there are ledgel. How many former witness support group websites there are. How many websites there are devoted to tracking their alleged lies in the various deeds.

So I told Savannah that I hoped I would get to this topic soon, then I put the witness on a topic list that we keep here for possible future episodes. And then before I plan to get to the witnesses, our Patreon space lizard listeners voted this topic in. And after having finished the research, I'm so glad they did. I hope I've exposed them properly, Savannah. I feel like I did my best. And now I hope this becomes our most

downloaded episode ever. I want so many others to hear who they really are. What I found blew me away. Oh, my heck. Today we explore the Jehovah's Witnesses. They were born out of the late 19th century Bible students movement, which was born out of the early 19th century Adventism movement. And they really can't wait for Armageddon. The main thrust of their belief system is that the end of the world is imminent and that only Jehovah's Witnesses will be saved. And to be at Jehovah's Witness, you have to dedicate dozens of hours a month to evangelizing. That's where all the knocking on doors comes from.

You must proclaim the truth. You must let others know the end of the world is near and the time to repent is now. To be a witness, you'll have to live by a strict and frankly insane moral code. You'll have to follow all the teachings of the witness headquarters official publication, the watchtower, follow a variety of nonsensical practices like refusing to take a blood transfusion, even if it's necessary for you to live or join the military or hold any government office or salute the flag or vote or wear pants that are too tight, not even kidding about that last one.

If the leaders of the witnesses had their way, they would literally be a separate theocratic society, very much like Gilead from the Handmaid's Tale with their own rules and legal procedures governed by nothing more than misguided notions of God's word. Today, we look into the history of this group of over 8 million current believers. We look into their beliefs and their many, many failed end times predictions. We look into a massive Jehovah's Witness scandal. They may be hiding the biggest list of known but un-possacuted sexual predators ever compiled. All this and more on an apocalyptic, watch out for invisible Jesus, how can a supposedly godly group justify

so many blatantly evil acts, open their eyes, Namrod, and let them see the fucking truth edition of Time Suck. This is Michael McDonald and you're listening to Time Suck, you will mistake, to time-suck. Happy Monday, meat-sacks, rejoice. For the end of the world is not near. Ignore the pamphlets, ignore the hype. Hail Nimrod, beautiful Lucifina, open the witnesses' eyes to the glory of human sexuality,

praise both jangles, glory beaded, triple M, sing some freedom, shine some sweet freedom into their troubled earholes, Michael, motherfuckin, McDonald. A big day here in the suck dungeon. I'm recording this on Friday, September 17th. And two days from now, September 19th will mark the five year anniversary of time, sec. All this craziness started on September 19th, 2016, have not missed a Monday yet, and for that I am thankful. Interesting that the first episode was about a conspiracy.

The lizard illuminati. That was so fringy back in 2016. Not long after that episode, I did a JFK episode. I got a lot of shit from people for entertaining the possibilities that the CIA may have helped kill JFK for entertaining the possibility that the CIA may have helped kill JFK for that, for entertaining that conspiracy. Many people still considered conspiracies to be crazy.

And I think most are, but my or my, how conspiracies have become so much more mainstream in the last five years. Not a good thing. Critical thinking, which I try to apply to every topic, needed now more than ever. With enough critical thinking that Jehovah's Witnesses, I think they just go away. Their beliefs do not hold up too well when you apply a reason to them. Religion is religion to blame for the recent rise in conspiracies.

I would argue that yeah, it is actually flatter theory, hollow or theory, QAnon, Pizegate, fear of the Illuminati. It all traces back directly to religion. It's the common denominator amongst all these things. It comes up over and over and over again. So how do we reverse this trend? We focus on facts, science, critical thinking. We push for a bigger separation of church and state.

I hate hearing politicians even mention God because no one can agree on what or who God is, what God supposedly has said, God's a moving target whose nature and will we meet, Saks will never agree on. God is a target that moves a lot more wildly than any scientific empirical evidence-based target. If we don't ground our government and reason in science, I think our culture will devolve into assess pool of ignorance and chaos. You want to believe in religion?

Fine. You want to incorporate it into our educational system or political decision making, not fine. Unless you want something akin to the Jehovah's Witnesses in charge. You know, and after today's research, I doubt that's something you'll be interested in. Hope you keep listening, meet sax. I hope for the next five years, I can keep trying to make you laugh, help you learn, promote some reason. And what seems sometimes to be an increasingly unreasonable world. Hail Nimrod, you beautiful bastards. Keep this shit going. Couple very quick announcements and then very excited for today's show.

I found this so fascinating. I hope you do too. Got some anniversary merch in the store at BadMagicMarch.com. Got a sweet zip up jacket. It looks like what my jacket would look like if I were to graduate from TimeSuck University to celebrate five years. Letterman's jacket vibes. Full of references to early characters. Triple M on the back to signify we're in

triple M's high school band. Cheekatilo on the sleeve sleeve patches saying Araslan state champ air ban show hall American. Ojangles and Nimrod reference on the back five year patch on the front and all three eyes open badge of honor. My nickname is chain stitched on the front goofy and fun like most of our merch. Also have a 60 by 80 inch stadium flea blanket jumbo duffle bag 15 ounce mugg and some new t-shirts. Had a lot of fun trying to work out a lot of new material and filly last weekend on the stand up tour. Thanks for making it fun. Even had a guy come dressed up in a full on banana suit wild times. The sym a guy come dressed up in a full on banana suit.

Wildtimes. The symphony of insanity tour continues in Columbus. Columbus, Ohio this weekend at the funny bones of September 24th and 25th. Two nights only four shows. Three of them are either sold out or very close to it. Thank you for that. None of my cobs in San Francisco. October 8th and 9th, Spokane, October 15th through the 17th and then Kansas City, Missouri, October 22nd through the 24th. More dates at Dancomans.tv and now let's get Coltie. In terms of structure, today's episode is going to probably feel pretty similar to our previous coverage of the LDS church and suck 157, Mormonism, the good, the bad, and the F LDS.

There are numerous similarities between the two. Both religious institutions were founded in the United States in the 19th century. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints traces its founding back to 1830 when founder Joseph Smith and others first convened to form a new religion in upstate New York. The Jehovah's Witnesses can trace their founding back to 1872 when founder Charles Tayes Russell broke away from Adventism in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Lesson 300 miles and just over 40 years separate the births of these two theological organizations and both now claim millions of followers. In 2020, the membership of the Church of Jesus Christ

of Latter-day Saints had grown to over 16.6 million. At same year, Jehovah's Witnesses reported an active membership of about half that, 8.4 million. Also, both are groups not considered Christian by many other Christians. For example, Smith's Latter-day Saints considered the Book of Mormon as much a part of the word of the Christian God as the Bible, and they continue to honor their top leader as a prophet, seer, and revelator. But the rest of Christianity, outside of a few LDS offshoot denominations, does not seem to agree with that. Jehovah's Witnesses are also not considered Christian by many Christians for a variety

of reasons, including a rejection of the Trinity. The belief that there is one God in three persons, or three entities, the son, the father, the Holy Spirit. And Witnesses also don't believe that everyone who gives their lives to Christ will be rewarded with eternal life. Only 144,000 of the faithful will be rewarded with eternal life in heaven. And they believe that hell is not real. That when you're dead, you're just dead, and God is, you know, not allowing Satan and his minions to gnash their teeth on you anymore.

Either go to heaven or you're just gone. And maybe the most important similarity, both the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and Jehovah's Witnesses have been accused by many of being a cult. Today, just like how I compared Mormons beliefs with cult criteria, to see if I agree with accusers, I will do the same for Jehovah's Witnesses. Spoiler alert, the Je's Witnesses are in my opinion for sure, occult. They may not all live on the same doomsday compound, but they definitely operate a lot like a compound cult in so many ways. That is not something I expected to discover when our Patreon spaces are selected as

topic. Also one final comparison between this episode and the Mormonism suck. Today's episode will be a harsher critique. Why? Mostly for two reasons. Continually false Armageddon predictions and it continued focus on imminent end times is the first one. Many former Jehovah's Witnesses have spoken about how their parents discourage them from applying to college or about how they weren't supported in planning for their futures at all because of the apocalyptic beliefs of Jehovah's Witnesses. That's just not something any part of me can condone.

It's irresponsible, it's ignorant, and so unnecessary. The other reason I'm going to be harsh on, you know, J.D.D. is due to a few church policies that have intersected to make their organization a haven for sexual predators. Let me briefly explain the Armageddon stuff first. Regarding the witness history of false Armageddon claims, if you claim that you know the nature of God is this or that, I'm going to be skeptical. I'm skeptical of all claims that you can't scientifically prove. And the more sure of your unprovable beliefs you are, probably the more I'm going to think you're foolish yet. However, I won't be able to tell you that I know that you're foolish yet with

any conviction. Maybe I'll say that, but I won't be able to tell you that I know that you're foolish with any conviction, you know, maybe I'll say that, but I won't be able to totally believe the words coming out of my mouth because I can't prove with 100% uncertainty that you don't know what you're claiming. That what you're claiming is not true. Just like you can't prove your unverifiable faith-based belief is true to me, I cannot prove that it is not true. I can't prove that some guy like Joseph Smith was not told this or that by God. I wasn't there. I can't prove that some guy like Joseph Smith was not told this or that by God. I wasn't there. I can't prove that Muhammad or Jesus or Abraham or whoever did not hear from God and never knew any more about the nature of God than I do.

I can believe that, but I cannot prove that. But when you put a very specific date on something like Armageddon, when you tell me exactly what God is going to do on this exact day of this month, of this year, and then you get that wrong. Well, now you've made it real, real easy for me to say definitively, while you're full of shit, you've seriously damaged your credibility, especially when you get that prediction wrong over and over and over again, and it's the main thrust of your religion that is exactly what the Jehovah's Witnesses have done.

When you tell believers of a faith based on your interpretation of scripture that the end of the world will happen for sure on this date, and then that date comes and goes. You've opened up the door for people like me to fairly say, uh, if you were wrong about the one and only thing that could be proved right or wrong at such and such time, why should anyone listen to anything else you have to say when it comes to spiritual beliefs? I would strongly argue that they should not listen to you. And for that reason above all others, I do not respect the spiritual authority of the Jehovah's witnesses.

I don't believe in any religious institution, but due to these repeated false claims, I am certain the witnesses do not know what the fuck they are talking about. And if that doesn't feel fair, please remember how hard I've gone on Doomsday cults in the past for doing the exact same thing. It would be hypocritical to go hard, you know, to remember how hard I've gone on Doomsday cults in the past for doing the exact same thing. It would be hypocritical to go hard, you know, to not go hard. Excuse me, I was witness for the same shit. Just know that I can still think that believers are wonderful people as individuals.

I've met some Jehovah's Witnesses. They seem like great people, just like some say that they can separate the sin from the sinner and love the sinner, but hate the sin. I will counter and say that I can separate the sin from the center and love the center, but hate the sin. I will counter and say that I can separate the believer from the belief. I can hate the belief, but I can love the believer. Now let me summarize reason number two for my harsh critique. That intersection of some church policies that have made the Jehovah's Witnesses a great group for pedophiles, like the fucking best group.

The first policy is an insistence that various criminal matters, like such, like, you know, including sexual offenses, should be dealt with in-house. For example, for more than 30 years, Jehovah's Witnesses leaders have instructed elders specifically across the US to keep cases of child sexual abuse, secret from law enforcement, and members of their own congregations, according to court documents and written directives from the religion's global headquarters in New York. The Jehovah's Witnesses parent organization, the Watchtower Bible and Track Society issued this directive in a series of memos that dates back to 1989, according to Watchtower officials, all of the religion's policies, including these, are those pertaining to child

sexual abuse, are approved by the organization's spiritual leaders, known as the governing body. And the governing body has specifically instructed witnesses to ignore laws pertaining to the mandatory reporting of child abuse and that is fucking gross. As you'll learn today, or maybe already know, Jehovah's Witnesses have very little respect for the laws of the nations their members reside in. And they teach members that church law trumps national law not a fan of that perspective in general. I feel like if you truly want your own nation and you want to live by your own laws, then go fight for some fucking

land, build your own nation or shut the fuck up. Right. It's utterly ridiculous. They're allowed to hide behind their religion when they break the laws of the countries, their congregations find themselves in. That's not how nations work or shouldn't. When religious freedom equals child endangerment, I think some of that religious freedom should be flushed down the fucking toilet. And how does their religious freedom lead to child abuse? Let me introduce the two witness rule.

Jehovah's Witnesses congregational judicial policies require the testimony of not one, but at least two material witnesses to establish a perpetrator's serious sin in the absence of not one, but at least two material witnesses to establish a perpetrator's serious sin in the absence of confession. The organization considers this policy to be protection against malicious accusations of sexual assault. Pretty easy to see how problematic this rule is when it comes to sexual abuse.

If as a Jehovah's Witness someone molests or rapes you, you are a not to go to the police and b, if there is no second witness, the crime didn't happen. It's just your word against your attacker's word. And since that's not enough for a group of elders adhering to church doctrine to convict anyone, that's going to lead to an automatic verdict of not guilty. The overwhelming majority of rape and molestation incidents don't occur obviously in front of an audience. So rapists and pedophiles are, I occur, obviously, in front of an audience. So rapists and pedophiles are,

I have to believe, almost never punished. And most Jehovah's Witness congregations, how incredibly fucked. I will lay out specific examples of what victims have gone through, how their accusations were completely ignored. And in some cases, how they were criticized, for even making accusations later in this episode.

So much to get into today, as there is in most episodes. Let's talk about how I'm gonna lay it all out. It's gonna be a challenge to sum up the whole culture and history of a large and complex Christian's nomination in just a few hours. I certainly won't be able to explain every aspect of witness beliefs, how those beliefs may have changed over time and the history of how they arrived

at those beliefs. Gonna do my best to share the most comprehensive look into Jehovah's Witnesses. I can in one episode. First up, we're going to look into the demographics of the witnesses. Who's joining? Where do they live, et cetera? Then we'll head to the 19th century, look into their history following the organization's development up to the present day in a time-stuck timeline.

After that, while we'll have already touched on a number of their beliefs and already have, you know, a bit so far, actually, we'll look further into their interesting and controversial theology. Next, we will take a little extra time to look into their very strange masturbation beliefs, very complex and convoluted. One of the stranger aspects of Jehovah's Witness beliefs by far is what church doctrine decrees as far as how members are expected to masturbate. Both men and women are expected to begin masturbation the day they turn 16. And to continue masturbating until the day before their marriage, both sex is given very

specific lust release instruments, they're called to use the men's instrument called a Sbib stands for Spiritual Protection Intercourse Belt. Looks like some kind of medieval torture device. Maybe some kind of extreme BDSM gear. On the backside of this belt is what they refer to as a prostate massager. Looks like a small dildo. The long string attached to the base, when you look it up online, on the front of the belt is two small elastic loops with a piece of cloth in between them with another long piece of string attached. It's very complicated. Looking.

To use it, you put it on. The massager goes in your butt. Loops in the front wrap around both under the head of the penis and around the base of the balls, like these loops on both spots. Then you kind of like see saw, I guess these strings back and forth, the one of the back, the one on the front. and that way you never have to stroke your penis until orgasm and thus sin. Okay? On Mary Women, we're a save, sexual absence, virginity, enhancer. Looks like a metal chastity belt, with a metal rod coming up off the front attached to

what looks like a fucking captain's wheel on a ship. You spin this wheel, a little wooden flicker, you know, stimulates the clitoris by lightly slapping it over and over rhythmically while a small dildo-shaped prosthetic device thrust in and out of the vagina with upwards pressure placed on the so-called G-spot, like with a spib with a save, you can achieve orgasm without ever touching your flesh with your fingers. And that way, I guess, I guess you don't sin. So fucking complicated. With both devices, you're expected to leave your clothes on, wear them under your clothes,

you know? with both devices you're expected to leave your clothes on, wear them under your clothes. So you're not unmarried and naked, which is also considered sinful. And the use of these devices encouraged because they're believed to help expel unclean, lustful devil thoughts from your mind once you've orgasmed. That is all fucking insane. Picture these ridiculous contraptions.

Spibs and saves in your mind's eye for a moment and then let go of those images forever because they're not real. I made that shit up. Spibs and saves in your mind's eye for a moment and then let go of those images forever because they're not real. I made that shit up. Spibs and saves. Doesn't save their nonsense. It's crazy. But does it kind of sound like the shit that a cult formed in the 19th century would come

up with? I mean, come on. The witnesses actually do have some pretty crazy anti-mastervation beliefs. I will go over soon, but it's not that complicated. They're not walking around with these weird machines under their back and weird 19th century farm clothes. I wish kind of for real now after looking into their interesting and controversial theology next we'll put them to the cult cult cult test.

See how they match up or don't with cult criteria used to differentiate a cult in a religion. Then then finally we'll look at some whistleblowers and some lawsuits. We'll humanize the story by going over some abuse and cover up examples shared by former members, very brave former members. All right, let's break all this down now. Yeah, yeah. Who are Jehovah's Witnesses today?

Jehovah's Witnesses make up just under 1% of the adult population of the US and make up less than 1% of the population of the world. They count members in every nation in the world. Let's first talk about the US with information from the Pew Research Center's 2016 Religious Landscape Study. As of 2016, and numbers don't seem to have fluctuated a ton since that, based on articles that have pointed to membership growth, currently approximately 1.3 million witnesses live in the US. And they're very racially and ethnically diverse religious group.

No more than four and 10 members of this group belong to any one racial and or ethnic background. 36% are white, 32% are Hispanic, 27% are black and 6% are another race or a mixed race. The majority of Jehovah's Witnesses in the US are 30 to 49 years old, 34% followed by 50 to 64 years old, who make up 29% of membership. Interestingly, 48% of Jehovah's Witnesses have a household income of less than $30,000 annually. Right around the poverty line for a family of five in 2016,

which was 28,643. The median household income for the US that year, 57,617 almost twice, 30,000. So a lot of Jehovah's Witnesses down towards the bottom of the household income ladder, which does not surprise me at all after looking into their apocalyptic beliefs. I mean, why put a lot of effort into building up your career, making more money, you know, building up that savings account when you think the world is truly gonna end just any day now. Most Jehovah's Witnesses, roughly two thirds, 65% are women, while only 35%

are men, Christians worldwide, more likely to be women than men, but this gender gap is particularly large in the context of US Christian groups, for context, 54% of US Catholics are women. So why is this a case? Why are so many Jehovah's Witnesses women? Honestly, I cannot figure it out. No one who shows up or no reason that shows up easily in Google search seems to pop up. Compared with other US religious groups, Jehovah's Witnesses tend to be less educated, also not surprised, hard to work up the motivation to pursue a doctorate. If you think there's a good chance and angry and insane, God is just going to smite the shit out of your campus, classmates, any potential employers you might have before you graduate Solid majority of adult Jehovah's Witnesses 63% have no more than a high school diploma compared with 43% of evangelical Protestants and

37% of non evangelical Protestants Jehovah's Witnesses also have a very high. I'm about selling the fuck out of here rate Still not surprised. Bound to lose a fair amount of constituents. When you want to stop yapping about the apocalypse, and it just keeps on not happening, they don't retain members very well. Among all US adults surveyed who were raised as Jehovah's Witnesses, two thirds have left the group.

Not a good retention rate. Only 34% sticking around once mom and dad can't essentially legally force them to keep going to church. By contrast, about two thirds of those who are raised as evangelical Protestants, 65% and Mormon, 64% still say they are members of those respective groups. So how is this religion continue to grow with this kind of shitty retention rate? A lot of door knocking. Very heavy focus on door-to salesmanship. Literally, literally door to door. If you can't hold on to people, you need to really get aggressive when it comes to recruiting new people all the time. They keep their numbers up with constant evangelizing. About two

third, 65% of current adult Jehovah's Witnesses are converts. Another reason they might have a hard time keeping members is due to how militant they are about commitment. Cult, cult, cult. By traditional measures, measures of religious commitment, Jehovah's Witnesses Keeping members is due to how militant they are about commitment cult cult cult By traditional measures measures of religious commitment Jehovah's Witnesses are one of the most highly religious US groups 9 and 10 Jehovah's Witnesses say religion is very important in their lives and that they believe in God with absolute certainty 94% of witnesses believe that the Bible is absolute indisputable word of God Before percent of witnesses believe that the Bible is absolute, indisputable word of God. The same Pew survey found at least two other interesting ways in which Jehovah's Witnesses stand out in their beliefs and love Pew by the way.

Bad magic productions has donated to them in the past. Holy shit, do they pull off quality studies? And they display their stats in such a clear and intuitive way. They have helped me gather good info for numerous suck topics that I was not able to find anywhere else. So Hail Nimrod and Hail to Pew Foundation. Back to that research now. While half of Jehovah's Witnesses say they believe in heaven, very few, 7% only say they

believe in hell. The traditional image of which is, you know, greatly challenged by the denominations teaching. Interesting, right? Another example of Witnesses differing so significantly in their interpretation of scripture that has led to a lot of other Christian denominations thinking they're not even Christian. The overall share of all U.S. Christians who believe in hell is 10 times larger than the witnesses. It's 70%. Another thing that sets most Jehovah's Witnesses apart from any other Christians is the certainty they feel in their

beliefs being the undisputed truth, 83% of witnesses say their religion is the one and only true faith, leading to eternal life, while only 29% of Christians believe this about their own faith. Compared with US Christians, overall witnesses are especially likely to say they attend religious services at least once a week, 85% compared with 47% of US Christians, pray daily 90% of witnesses versus 68% of other Christians, and perhaps not surprisingly, share their faith with others at least once a week, 76% of them claim to be sharing their faith with non-witnesses at least once a week versus 26% of other Christians.

Well, you can find a lot of people who identify as Christian who don't attend church services, and are frankly, you know, probably don't kind of ignorant about their faith, probably don't kind of ignorant about their faith, unable to cite much of any scripture. The same cannot be said for the overwhelming majority of witnesses. You don't fuck around if you're witness. You are in, you're out. And if you're in, you're almost certainly in deep cult, cult, cult. Far more likely than US Christians, overall, to participate in prayer or scripture study groups and to

read scripture at least weekly among other religious behaviors. Also 100% more likely to wear a spib or a save as I discussed earlier. Gosh, I know. Like many other highly religious Christians, Jehovah's Witnesses tend to take conservative positions on social issues. For example, 3.75% say abortion should be illegal in either all or most all cases. I honestly expect that number to be higher. 76% opposed same sex marriage.

Say homosexuality should be discouraged by society. Again, I'm surprised that number is not higher. Jehovah's Witnesses, their views on human sexuality and its possible sinfulness are pretty ludicrous, pretty hardcore. We'll go over more of those beliefs in a bit. But I do want to share this little gem with you right now. In 2018, two videos that are thought to have been made in 2017,

these videos were leaked to the public. These videos were produced by church leaders with the intention of instructing elite Bethel members in regards to their proper sexual conduct and practices, which Jehovah expected of them. Leaking of these videos was dubbed pillow gate for reasons that will soon be made abundantly clear. Bethel is the name witnesses used to refer to 87 different branch offices worldwide.

Branch offices operate under the oversight of the governing body representatives who visit assigned branches every few years. Branch offices are operated by witness volunteers known as Bethel families who produce and distribute witness literature and communicate with various congregations in their jurisdictions. They're basically the cream of the witness crop, the elites. And thus they are expected to set a good and godly example for their fellow believers. Witness leader Gary Broe overseer for the governing body service committee narrates the video intended for the Bethel men and then then governing body helper Ralph Walls,

that's what he's called a helper, it's like a weird title, near rates the video intended for Bethel women. Gary and Ralph state early on that these videos are intended to show Bethel men and women the proper example they must set for the rest of the witnesses. In this first clip, brother Ralph,

he's telling women to keep their lady skin covered up in hidden to prevent a wave of horningus from crashing into the body of male witnesses and riptiding them back out into a sea of sin Or you know something along those long those lines. There we go Men are generally more easily aroused the August 1st 1969 watchtower said Christian women have the obligation not to dress provocatively, not to tempt men to keep looking at them and so reap a prideful pleasure in noting how they're able to play upon the emotions of men. So using

your power of reason, you must realize that Satan system moles the fashion industry Oh boy, so that the clothing worn by women will excite men what? Satan did that please Be mindful of the need to be modest in what you wear at all times all time wake up shrubs sluts Climb out of your devil bushes unplug your harlot ears obviously Satan himself has total control over any and all clothing production. It's even a tiny bit fashionable. Loose fitting old lady blouses with shoulder pads, long sleeves, enough buttons to never allow for some demon wind to blow apart an inch or so a fabric and

Reveal the pad of an old JC penny menopra menopause bra. Oh God made that blouse, Avi. Camel Toe, yoga pants, devil. Nuts spread and spandex, bicycle, shorts, Satan. Little house on the prairie schoolmarm dress, complete with a bonnet covering a spider web of bobby pins that suggest that the maiden's hair never, ever whips about in the throes of orgasm, Jesus won't that himself. Actual knee, skin revealing, Catholic schoolgirl girl outfit 100% Lucifer Wool turtleneck sweater. That's coin toss Depends on how tight it is now big the boobs are

They didn't try to trick big titty witnesses into thinking they can wear the same godly clothes as some of their sisters built more like Popeye's olive oil But if the sweaters too tight with god at a right Pretty sure that phrase was published in the watchtower, but not certain. I might have made it up. God hates titties. I know that for certain. And he really hates masturbation. Tell him, tell him, commander Ralph, come on. Keep this positive sexual train moving along the tracks.

The next area of concern is a more sensitive matter. Uh-huh. That is to resist the unclean habit of self-abuse or masturbation. This involves the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs. Oh my God. Don't let yourself become contaminated by this unclean habit. That's right, Commander Ralph. Keep your fingers away from those filthpusses ladies.

Hands off your sin holes. Don't contaminate yourself. Don't even think about sneaking a finger or two in your loophole. Masterbation is an unclean habit. Jesus hates it when your pussy feels good. Jesus has always hated plus and he always will. God, he fucking hates it so much. For real though, you are supposed to be careful about sticking anything in your poop hole loophole. Don't stick it in there and then stick it in your vagina.

porn does not often demonstrate healthy sexual habits. Wash it up at for loophole insertion, or you can get a bad case of bacterial vaginosis or you're an air track infection. Lucifina wanted me to pass that along. Now back to one of the world's worst TED talks, where Commander Ralph wants to make sure that witness women know that sex is basically

almost always terrible. It reads, flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin that a man or a woman may commit is outside his body. But whoever practices sexual immorality is sending against his own body. In recent years, we've been helped by the faithful

and discreet slave to have a clear understanding of what is involved in the Bible's use of the word Pornia or fornication. Growth. It relates to sexual relations involving persons not married to each other. What? And includes acts such as oral sex, anal sex, and manipulating or fondling another person's genital. What? Handships?

Yikes. Carefully don't ditto yourself or fondle someone else's genitals straight into hell, ladies. Keep any and all dicks out of your mouths and loopholes. That goes for husbands, right? That's still a sin. Mm-hmm. How dare you actually enjoy sex with your married partner. Just lay down missionary style, stare solemn solently without smiling into each other's eyes think about the end times think about armageddon

pump, you know, just coldly back and forth and hope it's all over soon. Starting to understand why there is not a high percentage of male witnesses now with no blowjob talk. Now let's move on over to witness leader commander Gary. Overseer for the governing bodies service committee. Homosexuality is not accepted on any level within the Jehovah's Witnesses. And here, Commander Garber, Warren, straight, hetero, God fearing witnesses that the devil is constantly trying to gay you up. You have to be so careful regarding what kind of clothing you wear, gentlemen. One of Satan's many tricks to pull you from a righteous path.

It is to make you wear tight pants, right? Wearing pants, they're a little too tight helps normalize Satan's home as sexual agenda. It's I know it sounds confusing. Commander under his eye, Gerber can explain all of this so much better than I can with his logic, genius logic. To begin, let's see three ways in which Jehovah's Word helps you to keep your personal habits clean. The first way you can do this is by avoiding tight-fitting clothes that can

identify you with homosexuality. What kind of clothes are we talking about? Ticlos. Yep. What kind of clothes are we talking about? Take clothes. Some outfits are designed to feminize a man's appearance, as homosexuals try to do, especially displaying the buttocks and genitals. Oh, no. Why? Because it makes it harder to tell the difference between a homosexual and a heterosexual man making homosexuals blend in. Robin, think about that. So these clothes contribute to changing people's opinion of homosexuality,

because they come to see it as normal and acceptable. Okay. All right. We know that you never intentionally promote that practice. No, no. But the question is, how would you hope a viewer man that serves him while dressed in a way that Identifies him with homosexuality. Oh great point commander gear bear waiting old Bobby You just brought Satan into our summer camp by wearing last year swim trunks

Now we're all scared look how tight and feminine they are God we can all see your devil nuts. We can see your bells above bulge. They're too tight on your buttocks, Bobby. Now we're okay. Okay. Now we all can't stop thinking about your tight shorts and now our shorts are tight in the front at least.

Tight clothing doesn't just help Satan normalize homosexuality, guys. According to Commander Garber, it can also lead, please sit down for this. It can lead directly to the powerful and terrifying sin of self-abuse. Sit down and just hold your crosses tight. Wait, listen to this next part. A second way you need to keep on guard is resisting the unclean habit of masturbation. Here, here. The God's love book explains that masturbation is the stroking or rubbing of the genital organs,

commonly resulting in an orgasm. Yep, that's that works. So does a person have to use their hands to masturbate? Oh, they can use a spib or a safe. For example, say a brother wears an undergarment that so tight it rubs his penis as he moves around or tight pants talk. He gets aroused and even ejaculate. Oh, no. Is he masturbating? Yes, he is. Oh, he is. Because he is deliberately stimulating his genitals, even though he's not using his hands.

Oh, nice try, Steve. Sure you're not technically beating off. You're not stroking a rub in your general organs, but you are wearing your fifth grade brothers pants as a 23 year old. We see what you're trying to pull there, bud. You're putt. Now you're done, no heaven for you.

Okay, last clip from this video. This is the clip that led to the term pillow gate. Check out a bit more of Commander Garber's, you know, cringe-worthy wisdom. Does there have to be an orgasm for it to be considered masturbation? I think so. Suppose a brother starts rubbing his genitals against a pillow. He gets an erection, but stops before having an orgasm. That's not then, right? Is he masturbating? No, he's not. Yes. Again, because he's deliberately stimulating himself, whether he has an orgasm or not. How about having any mission of semen at night, maybe even after an erotic dream?

Is that masturbation? No, I don't think so. No. Jehovah made that a part of a man's reproductive system, and it happens without any deliberate stimulation. But even so, when this happens to you, it would be good to examine whether you were dwelling on sexual thoughts before going to sleep. Great thought, Commander Gareber.

Could you have been sleeping in a position that stimulated you, such as with a blanket or pillow held tightly between your legs? If you're honest with yourself about these matters, it will help you to avoid falling into unclean practices. Unclean practices that lead you to the devil. Oh, Steve, you know what you did. You dirty fucking pillow hunker. Come on, brother. Like God's going to fall for the oldest jerk off trick in the book. The one where you feel so guilty about sex that you won't dare touch your penis ever because you're afraid of being smite by an angry God and then so much calm builds up inside you that your subconscious eventually takes over

when you're asleep and dreams up some fun that you never have in real life and then you empty the chamber out in your pillow. That's your jerk off trick. Where you wake up fear and damnation for an ejaculation, you literally have no fucking memory of. Nice try, Steve, you hedonistic devil perv. Clearly, Jova's witnesses views on human sexuality

are fucking insane. They're pure tanical, draconian, homophobic, absurd. Completely out of touch with biological reality. And they're just idiotic. If you believe any of this, why? Why would you want to keep worshiping such a douchebag of a god? Why would you want to belong to a group

who clearly thinks that God is some kind of sex, hate, and weirdo? Brother Garber and Ralph can both get fucked. What a couple of a fear and anxiety-inducing destructive tools they are. I hope another video is leaked. Of these two clowns involved in some kind of hardcore sex fetish, right, exposing them both as hypocrites. Maybe a video of Garber, like having a dominatrix just box his balls and brother Ralph is tied

up beside him in like a gimp mask, getting roughly pegged by the same dominatrix. Grab the spreader bar and arm binders, brother Kerber. Tie brother Ralph up, take the gag ball under your mouth, choke on the cock of incubus, prepare for sexual ascension. I don't know, one can dream. Moving along into some more stats now before looking at the history of the witnesses, roughly three quarters of Jehovah's Witnesses, 74%,

also reject evolution, saying humans have always existed in their present form since the very beginning of time. So wait, these guys just keep seeing more and more awesome and super intelligent. Guessing there are not a lot of successful Jehovah's Witnesses archaeologist. Luckily Jehovah's Witnesses do not commonly advocate for these beliefs in the political

sphere. That's another belief we'll get into soon that members are taught to remain politically neutral and abstain from voting or participating in any action to change governance. That's reflected in their numbers too. Three quarters of witnesses, 75% say they are political independence who do not lean toward either major party, have to climb to answer or have to climb to answer a question about quarters of witnesses 75% say they are political independence who do not lean toward either major party have to climb to answer or have to climb to answer a question about political ideology. And most Jehovah's Witnesses 64% when asked if they were registered to vote said

that they were not registered or just declined to answer that question. Let's now dig deeper into where the Jehovah's Witnesses are, at least in the US. State of Wyoming has the highest percentage of witnesses, 3% of the population of Wyoming witnesses. Washington, this episode, probably not going to download great there. Washington, Rhode Island, New Hampshire, Georgia, all have witnesses as 2% of their entire state population. I didn't think it would be that man.

Georgia has a lot because they have a fairly big in Washington. The remaining states have populations of Jehovah's Witnesses of 1% or less New York, the state in which the church is headquartered as a population of right around 1%. You know, less than 1% of Idaho attends Kingdom Hall services. I thought there'd be more around here actually. Like we said,

worldwide Jehovah's Witnesses report they have 8.4 million people actively involved in preaching as of 2020. Hard to get exact figures for the witnesses, truly, because to be counted as an active member, an individual must be something called a publisher, which means they report regular time spent preaching to non-members, normally at least an hour per month, quite often a lot more than that. Jehovah's Witnesses official stats only count members who submit

reports for preaching activity, which would result in lower membership numbers than membership numbers found by like an external survey. Kind of backwards if you think about it, you think they'd want to inflate their membership numbers, but that's not how they operate. Under certain circumstances, such as chronic and debilitating illness, members may report preaching increments of only 15 minutes. You know, I have to do 15 minutes if you're very, very sick. You know, maybe when your doctor comes and check on your vitals, you know,

you just try to convert them or something. All right, Tyrone, your blood pressure stabilized, and your vitals look good. You should be ready to head home tomorrow. That's great, Dr. Richards. Can I ask you a quick question? Sure. You believe in the Kingdom of God in that soon,

since we are in the last days, God's laws will be replaced to corrupt and satanic laws of man. I got a lot of other patients to attend to Tyrone. If you have any medical questions, please tell your nurse to come find me. Wait, before you go, Dr. Richards, I need a new pillow. This one's, it's, it's too comfortable. Last night, this Jezebel pillow, well, let me into soon. So how are these witness preaching hours being tracked? Jehovah's Witnesses preaching activity is self reported. Members directed to submit a field service report every month. Baptized members who fail to submit a report every month are termed irregular.

You don't want to be in a regular witness. Those who do not submit a report for six continuous months, well, you're inactive. You're not even really a witness. For 2020, about 1.7 billion hours of preaching were reported. Nearly 242,000 new members were baptized, which was actually a net decrease of about 47,000 from the year before. More than 7.7 million home Bible studies, which you'll always witness, is reported, including Bible studies conducted by witness parents with their children.

According to official statistics, about 17.8 million people worldwide attend Jehovah's Witnesses or attended Jehovah's Witnesses 2020 observance of the memorial of Christ death and annual celebration of theirs. Almost twice their official membership numbers. So maybe there are more witnesses and the churches to clear enough current current stats now. How did this group come to be? Let's look into their history. Time for today's time suck timeline. Right after today's sponsor break. Thanks for listening to our sponsors, BeatSex. Timeline time line.

1869. Jehovah's Witnesses originated as a branch of the Bible student movement, which developed in the US in the 1870s, amongst followers of Christian minister pastor Russell, AKA Charles Tayes Russell, old Tayaysdog, old Taysden confused. In 1869, young 17-year-old Russell, son of Scotch, Irish immigrants, lived in Allegheny, Pennsylvania, a community later annexed by Pittsburgh in 1907, that time it was just cross-river,

where he was born and raised and where he worked in his father's Haberdashary shop. I don't, why don't we have a bunch of habit after we shops anymore. We sell in fabric to townsfolk to be used in making dresses suits and other articles of clothing. Watch the presentation by Adventist Adventist Christian preacher Jonas Wendell and soon after began attending an Adventist Bible study group in his hometown of Allegheny led by George Detson. He was very strange and spiritually curious man from a very young age when he was a kiddy. Russell was known to chalk Bible verses on fence boards and said he sidewalks and an attempt to convert unbelievers.

He particularly noted the punishment of hell awaiting the unfaithful and his little chockings. Early fixation on doom and gloom and God's wrath, he sounds super fun. Not worrisome at all. I'm sure all of you parents listening would love to have a kid writing warning to the apocalypse on the sidewalk. In 1865 Russell left the two spiritually laid back Presbyterian church. When he was 13 he joined a local much more pure tanical. God is always angry congressional church. In 1868 when he was 16 he considered leaving Christianity altogether. He didn't feel like the local pastors were correctly

interpreting the Bible. Not strict enough. maybe allowing too much pillow fuckery, too much hedonistic and homosexual wearing of tight ass devil slacks and the like. And then when he heard Jonas Wendell preach in 1869, he was 17, although he did not entirely agree with Wendell's arguments, the man's presentation inspired him with renewed zeal and belief in the Bible that it was the word of God.

Guess what Wendell's Adventist focus was on the second coming of Christ, aka the second advent of Christ. And the second coming leads to what? Arm again, when the armies of heaven will eradicate all who oppose the kingdom of God, wiping out all wicked tight pants, wearing meat sacks on earth, only leaving loose clothing, righteous mankind behind. Nice. Fuck yeah, bro. Burn him. Burn him all. Adventist, including Seventh-Aidvenous also believed that Christ returned his quote, imminent about to happen any day now. When Russell saw a Wendell preach in 1869, he saw him putting a date on God cleansing the earth.

He said that Christ would return neither 1873 or 1874. And if he would have seen Wendell preaching 1867, he would have heard Wendell say that the world was definitely going to end in 1868. This is fucking perfect. The founder of Jehovah's Witnesses, uh, spiritually inspired by a Doomsday preacher who was constantly fucking up Doomsday predictions. In 1870, Taze didn't confuse Russell and his dad and some other Wacadoodles form their own non-denominational Bible study group.

And by thoroughly studying the Bible over the next several years, they come to the conclusion like many cult leaders, that everyone else is doing it very wrong. They figure out that the Trinity, Hellfire, the inherent immortality of the soul, not substantiated by scripture Weird that Russell's adherence over a century later will not believe in the Trinity because that is not based in scripture But will believe that tight pants are part of the devil's plan to turn us all gay Very interesting almost as a almost like totally crazy or something and early January 1876 Russell meets with independent Adventist preachers Nelson H. Barber and John H. Patton

publishers of the herald of the morning. And these highly logical, shrewd biblical scholars convinced Russell that Christ had already returned to earth in 1874 when he was invisible. You may now be wondering why the fuck would they think this? Well, these two clowns, Barbara and Peyton, they'd be doing a bunch of fuzzy biblical math for years. They thought they'd come up with some definitive timetable regarding Christ's return. They pulled numbers out of various verses and out of their asses, probably mostly out of their asses, and they carried the ones and they rounded up and they've been

preaching that Christ was going to come back to earth for sure in 1873 and then, you know, he didn't. So they went back and they checked their math again, made sure they didn't miss any numbers, mistake any threes for eight stuff like that. And then they realized they were almost right only off by one. Christ was returning in 1874. Ha ha for sure. And then you know, he didn't. And Barbara and Peyton, I imagine felt pretty fucking stupid.

At least they should have. Going back to the drawing board again. And then they determined that they were totally right the whole time. Christ did return in 1874. Bingo Bingo, but no one saw him because he was invisible. Obby, the answer was right there the whole time. No one saw him because magic. Shit, you know, this is how they rationalized fucking up their prediction.

Continue with his second coming math and predictions. Barbara now, Peyton seems to have taken a background role. He preaches that God's spiritual harvest is to run from 1874 to the spring of 1878, concluding with the translation of the living saints into the air. He says 1881 will mark the restoration of the Jews in Palestine. The period from 1881 to 1914 will see the installation of God's kingdom on earth. He says, for sure, Armageddon will wrap up by 14 at the latest and then only the righteous will still walk the earth. So print it done

Gonna happen and then they did print it and Then you know they look like idiots later 1877 now 25-year-old Jehovah's Witness Founder Charles Tase to confuse Russell thinks all of this makes perfect sense because he is also crazy. And he provides financial backing for Barbara and becomes co-editor of Harold of the morning. The pair jointly issue three worlds in the harvest of this world. This big publishing in 1877 written mostly by Barbara, various concepts in this book still taught in the Bible student movement today and in Jehovah's Witnesses, including a 2,520-year period term to Gentile times. It was originally predicted to end in 1914. These guys' vision of Armageddon departed from Adventist teachings by advancing Russell's concept

of restitution. That all humankind since Adam would be resurrected to the earth and given the opportunity for eternal, perfect human life. Given the opportunity to become one of the 144,000, their book also taught the earth or taught that the earth would not be burned up when Christ returned, which I guess some people were teaching at that time, and it revealed that all of the saints will be taken to heaven in April of 1878, which for sure happened.

Do you remember that? You remember reading about how back in April of 1878, like all these people just went whew, just like up into heaven, all the best people, you know, me neither. I don't remember reading about any of that shit. Russell continued to develop his interpretations of biblical chronology in 1877. Also that year he published his 50,000 copies of the pamphlet, the object and manner of our Lord's return.

Teaching that Christ will return again, invisibly, before the Battle of Armageddon. So smart to go with the invisible Jesus. It's so much easier to predict the return of invisible Jesus than it is to predict when invisible Jesus will show up, right? Mysterious ways, mysterious, needlessly confusing, convoluted ways, amen.

By 1878, Russell's teaching the Adventist view that the time of the end had begun in 1799, the Christ had returned invisibly, and that fucking kills me. In 1874, and then he had been crowned in heaven as king, like literally crowned as king in heaven, in 1878. Excuse me?

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, what was that last part? A crowned king in heaven? What? The fuck is happening here? They have medieval coronation, excuse me, ceremonies in heaven now. There's a throne up there. Maybe a royal court? Do they have a jester up there? God, please tell me they have a jester. Some guy up on a cloud telling corny Bible jokes just Why couldn't the Israelites initially entered the promise land Because it wasn't the pinky promise land. Oh What is the little boy say when asked why he kept walking by the same little girl at school? I was told I'm supposed to walk by faith. Oh I was told I'm supposed to walk by face. Oh, oh, oh!

Oh! Oh! Why did anyone want to fight Goliath? Because you seem like a giant pain in the tukas. Oh! I'll be here a week and by week, I mean headlining for eternity! Oh! Fucking love that slide was fun.

Uh, ridiculous. Before 1878, there was concern, I guess guess in heaven that christ maybe would be crown king who else was gonna be crowned right is the jesus have like a like an older half brother we don't know about the made some claim for the throne fucking uh... jerry christ you know it is i jerry christ haven't thrown shall be mine

free turkey legs for everyone if jerry christ becomes heaven king and how about some lower cut blouses for a heavenly tavern wenches, about time we see some of those celestial tatas, then some royal attendance like Jerry, this is heaven. Free turkey legs, that's not a big deal of beer. And the hot, tatas stuff, that's not God's vibe. You're not doing yourself any favors right now.

Witnesses do, they do believe, there is some kind of actual structured government up in heaven with a king. The Jesus is some kind of actual structure government up in heaven with a king. The Jesus is some kind of medieval king and then he was crowned king now they believe in 1940. They used to believe in Taze Dog's time. They used crown in 1878. They love as you'll see to change a numbers around to suit the times they're in.

Witnesses believing that Christ and God are different entities and that Christ is actually inferior to God and is his first born son. This is also belief. You know, maybe he'll have more sons, you know, one of the many scriptural departures that leads a lot of other believers to think that, you know, witnesses aren't really Christian. Okay, 1879 now. Russell and Barbara have broken up. They just can't agree on Armageddon.

Or maybe for other reasons too, like maybe Barbara was wearing some, you know, vest that were a little too tight, a little too revealing. Maybe, you know, was trying to send the devil into Russell's underrues or something, not sure, trying to turn him into homosexual. Russell and Barbara are bummed. Their prediction of a rapture in 1878 did not come to be. The rapture is part of the end times events. It's when all Christian believers who are alive, along with resurrected believers, will do some version of rising up into the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. Some cartoony stuff that made sense when people wrote it down around 2000 years ago, but makes less sense now. A Taze Dog in Barber. Start bickering over some frankly, kind of boring minor points of theology about exactly who Jesus is and how his sacrifice led to the possibility of heaven, this issue known

as Christ Ransom and Yadda, Yadda, Yadda. July 1879, Russell stops publishing with Barbara, you know what I mean? Because they can't agree. Now he's doing his own thing. It's real similar. Their breakup is kind of similar to Simon and Garfunkel, right? Sure, they were good together.

But now Russell is going to write more hits on his own and Barbara is going to fade into relative obscurity but still have pretty cool hair. Russell begins publishing his own Monty Magazine, Zion's Watch Tower and Harold of Christ's Presence. Mm, sounds like a slow, tough read. This will eventually be renamed the Watchtower announcing Jehovah's Kingdom,

the most important publication of the Jehovah's Witnesses. Readers of Zion's Watchtower quickly formed 30 Bible study groups in seven states in the US from 1879 to 1880, with each congregation electing their own leaders. Elder, excuse me, the witnesses are forming, pulling largely from the Adventist faithful who are, you know, used to obsessing over the second coming. More and more people are choosing to really focus on impending doom, not be half-assed about it. On their focus on God coming down here and soon

to wash the world clean of filthy sinners. What a bitter hateful focus, by the way. How do those who have such hard-ons for the rapture not see that? How do they not see that their primary motivation for Armageddon is not God's love? It's not being held in God's loving embrace. It's hate. So much hate. It's punishment. It's self-righteous vengeance.

It's a very hateful group. Fuck these sinners. I can't fucking wait for God to make him pay and pay for what? For fucking who they want to fuck, how they want to fuck, for enjoying a strong drink, for watching Netflix, wearing some tight ass pants, for not going to sad and insane Bible study sessions all the time, instead of doing something enjoyable with their lives. I get the feelings of vengeance in general, I feel that, you know, shit too. How many times have I talked about wanting this

or that motherfucker to be killed? I'm very pro-murder in the right circumstances. I just don't get hiding behind a supposedly loving God when it comes to those feelings, right? Own them. I do. I don't always pretend they're noble. And with doomsday believers, if you believe

that all sinners, you know, that you hate are gonna burn and hell when they're dead anyway, or at least just be dead like the witnesses believe. And you get to go to heaven, you know, the haters are gonna burn in hell when they're dead anyway, or at least just be dead like the witnesses believe. And you get to go to heaven, you know, when you die, then what's the hurry? You're gonna get everything you want, you know, once we're all dead, so just wait. Enjoy your time here, sleep tight, thinking about how God's gonna burn the wicked, or you know, punish them, or, you know, whatever, at least not reward them when you're, you know, we're all gone. What does the world always have to end? It's just such a ridiculous belief system that is just horrific. There's nothing good about it.

It's all too common. And in these new Zion's Watchtower Central Bible study groups, elders and deacons are now being elected by their congregations, a true denominational structure starting to come together. Russell opposes formal disciplinary procedures by congregation elders, claiming this is beyond their authority,

instead recommending that an individual who continues in a wrong course should be judged Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast and Breast with all the child abuse allegations. In 1880, Russell visits his new congregations to conduct six hour study sessions, teaching each local congregation how to carry out a topical, biblical study correctly. In 1881, the Zion's Watch Tower Tracks Society is formed as an unincorporated administrative agency and Pittsburgh Pennsylvania, for the purpose of disseminating tracks, papers, doctrinal treaties, and bibles.

So now, as of 1881 They're officially formed as basically a religious non-profit and off they go and they grow and grow Russell of course leads them annually a relict that his president referred to as pastor Russell a president of board of directors Essentially known as the governing body almost always dudes. I think except for one I think except for Russell's wife They've always been dudes and the president definitely always been a dude body almost always dudes, I think except for one, I think except for Russell's wife, they've always been dudes. And the president definitely always been a dude. Charles will be president from 1884 all the way to 1916.

His organization will actually never be called Jehovah's Witnesses during his lifetime. It'll be called Bible students. The Watchtower Society opens overseas branches in London in 1900, Germany in 1903, Australia in Switzerland in 1904, the society's headquarters is transferred to Brooklyn, New York in 1909, and they go on to eventually fill up every country in the world. Also important to note, these Bible student branches are not churches. They are regional headquarters where Bible student literature is being produced by volunteers

for the Watchtower Bible and track society. The witnesses have an interesting and honestly a little bit of confusing structure. None of the people who work for Jehovah's Witnesses get paid, at least not directly. The governing body members in certain positions are given food, lodging, healthcare, several blood transfusions, travel expenses are paid, you know, for like preaching, they're provided clothes, not too tight, place to live, all that they need, but they have no money of their own to freely spend on like, you know, women or booze or anything fun. At least not supposed to have that money.

It reminds me a lot of Catholic nuns and priests, except actually they do actually earn a modest salary in modern times. Also interesting, there's no tithing. Witnesses are not expected to give, you know, like 10% of their money to the church, but they are encouraged to donate and to donate everything they can spare. All of the organization's money comes from donations and they have done very well in this system. The Watchtower Bible and Track Society listed the book value of its assets on its 2015 IRS form 990T as $1,451,217,000.

So roughly a billion and a half dollars. In 2016, and just Canada alone, they received roughly 80 million dollars in donations in Canada. They're one like the top 10 non-profits to as far as money received basically every year. They're doing very well. Where does all that money go? A lot of it goes into publishing all their literature. And some think, some of it disappears into the pockets of leadership, but I have no proof

of that. Also to back up now, back in Russell's day, Russell the love muscle. There were none of the kingdom halls now associated with witnesses. Bible students, they just met and people's homes for the most part and regularly appointed times. You know, a few days a week, but there weren't sermons per se. There were Bible discussions and studies led by local elders. They focused not on building churches, but on kicking out so much literature.

So many repent now or lose your immortal soul, pamphlets. In 1910, the secular journal Overland Monthly calculated it by 1909, Russell's writings had become the most widely distributed, privately produced, English language works in the US. It said that the entire body of his works were the third most circulated on Earth after the Bible and the Chinese Almanac. In 1912, the continent, or Presbyterian journals, stated that in North America,

Russell's writings had achieved a greater circulation than the combined circulation of the writings of all the priests and preachers in North America. So really getting that apocalyptic word out. A lot of that word was based on Russell's new prediction that the world is now going to end in 1914. He's writing a lot about how the last days, when you kind of covered this, they began back in 1799.

And then in 1874, that's when invisible Jesus started hanging around on Earth. No specifics written about what invisible Jesus was up to Hopefully not hanging around a woman's dressing rooms, right? Our bathhouse is like a naughty Jesus Don't be naughty Jesus or Jerry Christ will take your heaven crown Anyway, Taze Dog said that 1878 was when invisible Jesus was crown king in heaven You know when he beat out Jerry and In 1940 1914 was when the world as we know it would for sure And this one sinners are gonna be smited the rapt rapture is going to occur and blah, blah,

hateful, blah. Then 1914 comes and goes and nothing happens. You trekked us in visible Jesus and the date is now moved to 1915. And then 1915 comes and goes and nothing happens. So the move is 1918. And in more recent years, you know, they started swapping shit around again and started preaching 1914 was not the end of the end times. It was the beginning of the end times. Come on, that's what we meant. Like in 1992, the watch tower printed

that the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly man is drawn near. It pains me that the idiots running this organization can keep making millions and millions of dollars in donations when their main focus is the end of days and they just prove over and over that they have no clue what they're talking about. Oh, also, did I mention before we move on from Charles Russell, that he talked a lot about pyramids? Mm-hmm. Actually talked a lot about one pyramid, the great pyramid of Giza. Russell believes that the great pyramid of Giza was built by the Hebrews under God's direction and why was it built by God to help people living in Charles's day help figure out when Jesus was coming back to cleanse the earth of sinners?

God had the great pyramid of Giza built, so tased and confused, would know what to write in his doomsday pamphlets. Seriously, that's what he believed. His guy is fucking insane. Charlie Kuku Puffs referred to the pyramid of Giza as the Bible in stone. He believed that certain biblical texts, including Isaiah 19, 19 through 20, 19, 20, and others prophesied a future understanding of the great pyramid and this understanding would unfold the mysteries of the rapture in his time.

This lunatic was obsessed with the end times. He was the early 20th and late 19th century version of a maniac wearing a sandwich board full of revelations versus holding a megaphone and screaming about God's wrath is almost upon us in like Times Square or someplace. One more thing about Russell the love muscles beliefs. Let's talk about the 144,000. Why is that number so associated with Jehovah's Witnesses? Book of revelations chapter 7 verse 4 from the Kings James version of the Bible, and I heard the number of them

which were sealed, and they were sealed 140 and 40, wait, sealed in 140 and 4,000 of all the tribes of the children of Israel. Russell taught and witnesses still teach that God selects a limited number of faithful Christians who will after their deaths be resurrected to life in heaven. These 144,000 will help Jesus rule a new earth after God wipes the earth, you know, clean in the end times. Fuck yeah. On their own website right now under Bible teachings,

there's a big header that reads misconceptions about those who go to heaven. Misconception, all good people go to heaven. And then underneath that fact, God promises everlasting life on earth for most good people. Holy shit. Live a scared, terrible life. Worry about God's wrath when you have a wet dream, a wet tight pants, and then maybe go to heaven, but probably not.

That's what the job is when it's essentially believed. I mean, on the bright side, they don't believe in hell. They just think you're dead and gone and cease to exist in any way if you're not part of the 144,000 when you die. So that's cool. I guess let's talk more about their, you know vision of heaven Think about the total number of witnesses now around 8.5 million, but only 144,000 witnesses go to heaven And that's and that's 144,000 since the time of Jesus's death in 33 CE until now It's what they now preach it was for a while, you know with tied to Adam But now it's tied to Jesus' death. Holy shit, if you only counted today's witnesses

and you were a witness, you would have a 1.7 chance of going to heaven, but factor in all the people who've come before you and you basically have the same chance of going to heaven if you're very devout and a witness that you do of hitting a multi-million dollar lottery jackpot like this month. How the fuck have they been able to grow this horse shit

into a relative of millions? It's terrible salesmanship. Fear, probably, fear of God's wrath, you know, that he'll kill you in the rapture. But he's not gonna let you be tormented in death, there's not even that much to be afraid of. I have no idea how they've been able to trick so many people into falling for this shit.

I guess numbers print enough pamphlets, and you're bound to catch a few desperate people at the right desperate time and distract them with friends and fellowship so they don't think too hard about all the crazy theology you're trying to cram into their heads. I gotta say in the vein of comparing them to the church of Jesus Christ in Latter-day Saints,

Moronism has a way better sales pitch. At least in Moronism, if you're faithful enough, you get to be a God in the afterlife. That's a great sales pitch. Let's zip up to 1916 now. When founder Charles, too bad nobody tays him, Russell dies. Dies in Texas at the age of 64 during a cross country preaching trip. He died doing what he loved. He died what he did best, talking

crazy about Armageddon. He would not leave behind any children. Why have kids, you know, in the world's gonna end. He'd gotten married in 1879, but the couple separated over theological differences, of course, and were granted a divorce in 1906. Now everyone wanted to know who was going to be the next president, Q Game of Thrones music. On January 6th, is it going to be Jerry Christ? No. January 6th, 1917, board member, Society Legal Counsel Joseph Franklin Rutherford, is elected president of the Watchtower Society, unopposed.

It's a landslide at a convention in Pittsburgh. At the convention, laws are also passed stating that the president will be the executive officer and general manager of the society, giving Joe Frank full control of its affairs worldwide. Russell basically already had that, but now it's been formalized. Joe Frank Rutherford is right down to his own Doomsday declarations. He quickly declares that God will destroy churches, wholesale, his words, and church members

buy the millions in now 1918. Fuck yeah. And then all earthly governments will be totally destroyed by 1920, noise,ulting an anarchy. This announcement actually prompts many Bible students, still not going by Jehovah's Witnesses yet, to give up their businesses, give up their jobs, sell their homes,

some Bible student farmers in Canada and the US refuse to see their spring crops in 1925. They mock members of the movement who do, but some of those members mocked them right back when those idiots didn't have any crops, you know, in the world was still spinning, same as it ever was. In 1923, a watchtower article predicted, our thought is that 1925 is definitely settled by the scriptures.

There were, it's definitely. As to Noah, the Christian now has much more upon which to base his faith and Noah had upon which to base his faith and a coming deluge. But of course, 1925 came and went and then watched our publications make no admission of error over the predictions, you know, for 1925, the predictions that ruined so many people's lives. But Joe Frank, Joe Frank the tank would eventually apologize at some conventions. Yeah, I bet he did.

Hey, everyone, Joe Frank here, little red in the face today. Sorry about the whole prediction snafu. I know a lot of you are, you know, you sold everything. Many of you lost it all. And churches are still standing and God hasn't seen too, you know, a smite anyone. Listen, I'm going to be honest with you, we're starting to come to the realization that revelations slash pyramid and times prediction math is Pretty hard So please just hold tight keep wearing loose pants and boxy dresses not having fun sex and never masturbating and we'll go back to the drawing board You try and figure out when you know far less than one percent of you will be called to heaven in the rapture and the rest of you will just be, you know, just, we'll die. Joe Frank would go to a lot of conventions.

Major annual conventions were organized from 1922, 1928, which for publicity events as much as spiritual gatherings, 1924. He expanded his means of spreading the watch tower message with the start of 15 minute radio broadcast, initially from WBBR based on statin island, eventually via a network of as many as 480 radio stations. So that's sweet. The new preaching methods brought in an influx of members through the early 1920s, then attendance at the Bible students, yearly memorial fell sharply again.

It dropped from 90,434 in 1925 to 17,388. Well, that's what happens when you blow up your end time prediction, when you get it wrong. Joe Frank said that God was just shaking out the unfaithful. That's one way to interpret it. Another way, it could be that more people just started to realize how crazy all this it was. In 1929, Joe Frank Rutherford announces that the vindication of God's name will ultimately occur when millions of unbelievers

will be destroyed at Armageddon, that this is the primary doctrine of Christianity, more important than God's display of goodness or grace toward humans, right? If you didn't understand before, the Doomsday is all that matters, you do now! Cult, cult, cult. It's the most important thing. Meanwhile, Joe Frank is living in a 10 bedroom luxury villa called Beth Serum built in

San Diego, California, 1930 to house the biblical princes. He preached about expecting to be resurrected before Armageddon. Interesting. He was known apparently to drink a lot of expensive whiskey in this luxury villa and join his time while he's preaching about doom. Might not be getting a paycheck, but spending that donation money pretty lavishly Rutherford also out said many of the watchtower society directors anyone who defied him cult cult cult Former directors would claim Rutherford had required all headquarters workers to sign a petition supporting him and threatening dismissal for anyone who refused to sign

More than half of the Bible student movement members now leave over differences in Rutherford's teachings teachings that had departed from old Taze dogs earlier doctrine. Now there's trouble in the Doomsday cult. Those who stayed under Joe Frank's watch decided to take a new name and the watch tower Bible and track society renamed themselves. Da da da, Jehovah's Witnesses on July 26, 1931, at a convention in Columbus, Ohio. So, now we've arrived at their name, named based on the scripture of Isaiah 4, 4310, ye are my witnesses, say of the Lord.

The watchtower said the new distinctive name was designed to exalt God's name and end public confusion from many different groups using the Bible students movement umbrella. The publication explained, it will be a name that could not be used by another and such as none other will want to use, okay? Under Rutherford the Jehovah's Witnesses grow from about 44,000 in 1928 to about 115,000 when he dies on January 8th 1942. And man, have they grown a lot since then. The Bible students who chose to not follow Rutherford splinter into various small Jehovah's witness-esque denominations, some are still around, but they're all pretty small. Seems like the biggest one is the Don Bible Students Association.

In the late 80s, they had around an estimated 60,000 members and thought to have less today. 1931, more Jehovah's Witnesses distinct, distinctive beliefs start to emerge. Armageddon's given a new date again, smart, just keep doubling down on looking really stupid. Witnesses now actually are being told to stop conceiving children and stop getting married because now the end of the world is going to happen in 1938. I know earlier, you know, what was it? 1925? Now it's 1938. A lot of 1937 plans put on hold so much terror so much fear As if the Great Depression didn't add enough sadness and chaos to people's lives by 1935 witnesses or told they should refuse to salute the flag as well They should refuse to stand for the national anthem or serve in the military or serve in the government in any position

Because all of that is one of you know It's Satan's attempts to get you to focus not on God soon to be here, heavenly kingdom, but on the fake ass about to be smited kingdoms of man. In late 1936, schools in the US began to expel witness students who refused to slew the flag. Before he died, Rutherford would take some of these cases all the way to the Supreme Court, which returned to verdict 1940, saying that schools did have the right to expel students who would not salute the flag uh... the supreme court decision prompted a wave of violence against witnesses in the u.s

mostly in small towns and rural areas where they were beaten castrated in at least one case and tart and feathered in some other cases and in a few cases killed uh... murder and castration seems a bit excessive for not for not saluting the flag expelled from school though i'd do get that. I do understand the argument there actually. Your nation and nation many have died defending the providing you a public school education and you can't even acknowledge that you respect

that nation for a few moments to start your day. Feels pretty ungrateful and shitty to me. I think a lot of people confuse saluting the flag as a sign of respect for all the good America has done with a green with literally everything that America has ever done. In my opinion, you don't have to love everything that your politicians and people have done in your country to still love your country. More than 2,500 cases of violence against witnesses reported from 1940 to 1944 and hundreds

of witnesses arrested and charged with crimes. People lose in sons, brothers, friends, and husbands to World War II. Not real fucking happy about the witness's stance when it comes to refusing to serve or even salute the flag. Part of me feels bad that they are beaten and arrested, but also when you actively preach a version of who cares about this nation, I can't wait for God to come and burn it all down.

But you're fucking idiot to expect a lot of sympathy and protection from that same nation. I mean, that's ridiculous. Like, it's like, reminds me of like some little kid, it's so childish. Like, some little kid, I hate this place. I hate this place. All right, that's ridiculous. Like, it's like, reminds me of like some little kid. It's so childish. Like, some little kid, like, I hate this place. I hate this place. All right. When I get kicked out, hey, you can't do that to me. Well, no, come on. That's not how, it's not how life works. In Germany, preaching activity is banned in the watchtower society headquarters or seized and closed. Thousands of witnesses are arrested

in the 1920s, 1933 following the rise of Adolf Hitler, witnesses fired from their jobs, about 2000, are in prison and concentration camps, the first Christian group to be persecuted in Nazi Germany, and they will be the most extensively persecuted Christian group, and of course they were, again based on their beliefs, not surprised, Hitler not known to be a real tolerant guy. Of course he was going to be like, what? They hate Doisland. All right, well, fuck him. This also happens in other countries.

Witnesses in Japan imprisoned, tortured, members in the United States, Canada, Australia, Britain also imprisoned as conscientious objectors. Witnesses banned in Germany in 1936. A band in Canada in 1940, banned in Australia in 1941. Under Rutherford's leadership, you know, a legal staff was developed to us, and they would be unbanned, obviously in those countries.

Under Rutherford's leadership, a legal staff is developed to establish their right to preach, their right to refrain from nationalistic ceremonies. I do think it's so stupid. You're not your own country. Between 1938 and 1955, the Watchtower Society wins 36 out of 45 religion related court cases around the world. Rutherford is succeeded by Nathan Homer, Nor in 1942 after Joe Frank dies at the age of 72. Before we move on from Rutherford, he as present was the president when the first Jehovah's Witness Kingdom Hall was built. In 1935, Rutherford was present in Honolulu, Hawaii, when the very first Kingdom Hall was built. In 1935, Rutherford was present in Honolulu, Hawaii when the very first kingdom hall was built with free volunteer labor, of course, at 1228 Pensacola Street in Honolulu, Hawaii.

First kingdom hall in the world, and it's still there. A kingdom hall is the witness version of a church. You'll hope it's witnesses you kingdom halls for the majority of their worship and Bible instruction, better place to meet in people's houses or rented meeting halls, and it helps the witnesses build up their real estate holding wealth, which has become vast now. Witnesses prefer the term kingdom hall over church, noting that the term often translated into church

in the Bible refers to the congregation of people rather than a structure. Many, if not most of these kingdom halls, do not have windows, and that has creeped a lot of people out. Is it to keep, you know, there are people from looking out the windows while they get brainwashed? Is it to keep others from looking in, observing their weird rituals? Their official answer is one I actually believe. The no window thing is just mostly about money.

It's just cheaper to build places with no windows. And with volunteer labor, you often don't have the best builders. And so it's easier to build a place with no windows. And it cuts down on the possibility of break ins and burglaries. For a group of people, you know, just killing time before the world ends, I do believe this. They don't care much about how, you know, nice shit looks. Because, you know, they're waiting for God to burn it all down. Now let's move on to the reign of Nathan Homer, nor that begins in 1942. None of the society's publications after 42 acknowledge who had written them.

Instead, they are attributed now to an anonymous writing committee. From about 1944 on, the term governing body is used to refer to the Watchtower Society's Seven Man Board of Directors, currently eight man. Homer began to expand the witnesses' real estate holdings in Brooklyn, then expanded printing production throughout the world. He also organized a series of international assemblies that were way bigger than those of Joe Franks in the 1920s. 1958, more than 253,000 witnesses gather at two New York venues, Yankee Stadium in the Polo Grounds for an eight day convention or more than 7,000 are baptized. Under Homer's watch, new training schools are built, including the Watch Tower Bible School

of Gilead and Patterson, New York, under a Xi to train missionaries and the Theocratic Ministry School on the shores of Africa's Lake Victoria and Tanzania to give instruction and preaching and public speaking at the congregational level. Homer also commissioned a new translation of the Bible, which was released progressively from 1950 onwards before being published as the complete new world, new world translation of the Holy Scriptures in 1961. Another reason, a lot of Christians have problems with witnesses. They have their own Bible.

1961, homeward's witnesses make yet another doomsday prediction. This time they predict the end of the world will arrive in the year 2000. So here we go again, at least with this one, they've pushed the date out far enough for leadership to have plenty of time to enjoy all that donation money before they once again look like ass hats. But then five years later, they do something really stupid and they bump up their doomsday predictions 1966. The watchtower says that Christ kingdom on earth will be established fully by 1975. Should have stuck with 2000. Now they just moved up inevitable embarrassment by 25 years. Uh, September 15, 1971 issue of the watch tower warns that all worldly careers are soon

to come to an end. They advise youths that they should not get interested in higher education for a future that will that will never eventuate. Great job guys. How many thousands and thousands of futures were completely fucked over with that prediction. Awesome work. Once again, you idiots. And they wonder why they are still being persecuted in many parts of the world, why they are so unpopular, real unpopular right now in Russia. They are currently banned there, labeled as an extremist group. And to be fair to Russia, I think they are an extremist group.

I think they bring a lot of this persecution on themselves. The May 1974 issue of the Watchtower Society's newsletter, our Kingdom Ministry, commends witnesses who have sold homes and property to devote themselves to preaching in their short time remaining. They regard the year 1975 a very promising date for the end of the world based on their original belief that it was the 6,000th anniversary of creation of both Adam and Eve at the Garden of Eden, or in the Garden of Eden in 4,026 BCE, which of course, zero archaeological evidence supports

or evolutionary evidence or common sense. Weird how people who favor doing mathematical calculations based on biblical interpretations over science keep getting end time projections wrong. Membership does rise significantly in the years leading up to 1975, just like it it arose in the years leading up to 1975, just like it it arose in the years leading up to that earlier 1920s, you know, end of the world prediction.

Fear of an angry God, you know, coming to Smite people real soon works. So members sell their possessions, cash and insurance policies, etc. All happens all over again. An anticipation of the end, which never comes. How did church leaders not get fucking murdered in situations like this? Honestly, if I sold everything and fucked over my future based on continual evangelizing about how Armageddon is definitely about to happen and then that doesn't happen, I may legitimately kill somebody. I may legitimately kill the preacher in that situation. If one of these doomsday dudes were to get killed in a situation like this, I would fill zero empathy, sympathy, whatever, I would fucking laugh my ass off.

The leadership structure of Jehovah's Witnesses reorganized starting January 1, 1976 now with the power of the presidency passed to the governing body of Jehovah's Witnesses and the establishment of six committees to oversee tasks such as writing, teaching, publishing, and evangelizing work. A lot of time, money, a lot of committees invested in, basically just continuing to tell everyone that none of this shit will matter soon. And this time, watch tower society publications

began using the capitalized name. They were lowercase Joe F. Witnesses before, now they're capital Joe F. Witnesses. Also following the world, not ending 1975, membership, you know, drops off for a few years, just like it did back in the 20s, when some angry witnesses, you know finally realized they'd fallen for some bullshit 1977 now president Nathan Homer nor dies at the age of 72. So re-brill tumor got him. I bet he died super sad

They wasn't able to watch invisible Jesus materialize and start beating down centers Subtract presidents of the watchtower society after Norris deaths in 1977 our Frederick William Franz It would lead from 77 to 92 when he died at the age of 99. And Milton George Henshel who would lead from 1992 to 2003 when he'll die at the age of 82. Don Adams will lead from 2003 to 2014 before he dies at the age of 94 in 2019. So he left five years before he died. And then Robert Sranco, he has led since 2014.

Currently 74 is alive. There's a bunch of pranks online about him dying of COVID. Does not seem to be true. One old, joy-hating white man after another helping for the world to end. Back to 1980 now. A purge of senior Brooklyn headquarters staff has carried out in April and May of 1980.

After it's discovered that some, the highest ranks of the hierarchy don't agree Now a purge of senior Brooklyn headquarters staff is carried out in April and May of 1980. After it's discovered that some at the highest ranks of the hierarchy don't agree with early core watch tower society doctrines, particularly surrounding the significance of 1914. So these guys can't all agree on the same craziness. In February, three governing body members aware that people who had been alive in 1914 were rapidly dwindling in number, despite the additional watchtower teaching that their generation would be alive to see Armageddon for sure. They now propose a radical change in watchtower doctrines to require that the generation

that would see the arrival of Armageddon had been alive only since 1957, the year of the launch of the Russian space satellite Sputnik. Obvious devil sign. Obvious signvious devil sign. Obvious sign of devil magic. The proposal, which would have extended the deadline for Armageddon by 43 years, fails to gain a majority vote. Those who wanted the change, they're kicked to fuck out.

The purge results in a number of schisms in the movement in Canada, Britain, Northern Europe. Prompts the formation of loose groups of disaffected former witnesses. Of course, the watchtower does not consider them real Jehovah's Witnesses And these groups now are either, you know, super tiny or just they fizzled out. They're just gone What is happening if all this seems confusing? It is and you can blame the Jehovah's Witnesses They're kicking out on average a three to four publications a year. They've been doing that for a century now roughly and they've been saying all kinds of shit In addition to very specific predictions like like the world and in, you know, by 1975, they also said self-like the world would end

before everyone alive in 1914 had died. They just can't stop trying to crack a code that if you're not a believer like me, doesn't even exist. In 1983, a scandal befalls the kingdom. An exposé called Crisis of Conscience is published by a former Jehovah's Witness name, Raymond Franz, three years after his expulsion or three years after he was disfellowshipped as

it's called the witness's version of being banned excommunicated. On the book as a major study in exposé of the internal workings of the watch tower during the 1960s and 70s, which have been mysterious to many people including many witnesses themselves. Raymond Franz spent 43 years as a Jehovah's Witness. He was in deep, had an amazing pedigree, third-generation witness, and not just any third-generation witness. His uncle, Frederick William Frond,

was the president, I just mentioned, who led from 1977 to 1992. Uncle Hans and Frond's not happy with Ray Ray about his expose. Raymond Frond's began work full-time for the sect as soon as he finished high school, you know, raised in it started serving as a full-time preacher in the US and as a missionary in Puerto Rico and the Dominican Republic in 1965 he became a member of the religions headquarters staff in Brooklyn where he was assigned to help research and write the Bible in

Cyclopedia aid to Bible understanding 1971 appointed as a member of the religions's governing body. This guy was in high ranking member. Then he left the governing body in 1980 after a high level inquiry was launched into allegations at several headquarters staff, including Franz. We're spreading wrong teachings tight pants. On May 21st, 1980, Franz summoned Brooklyn for a fateful grilling by his governing body colleagues. Did he doubt that Jehovah had only chosen one organization to be God's organization?

Did he question the official end times chronology? He did. And he was purged for that question. Q purge sirens. Raymond now found himself with few marketable skills, a $10,000 settlement from headquarters and only $600 in personal savings. He turned to an old friend in the face, Peter Gregerson of Gadson, Alabama, who ran a regional supermarket chain to help him. Gregorson loaned for a bronze and his wife, a house trailer to live in, gave him more

because a handyman up in 1991, Gregorson, uh, two had begun to question watch tower dogma and resigned from the faith. Six months later, the official watch tower newspaper announced that the policy of shunning, disfellellowship witnesses, including shunning those like Gregorson, who had been disassociated, cult, cult, cult. We'll talk about the whole practice of shunning soon. Not long afterward Raymond Frans was seen in a restaurant eating a meal with his benefactor Gregorson. That single siding provided the technical infraction for which Frans was officially disfellowship. Kicked out.

You'd say by one stroke, they eliminated all my years of service. I frankly do not believe there is another organization more insistent on 100% conformity. Cult, cult, cult. And the book for Hans wrote about how Joe was witnesses who chose to leave because they cannot honestly agree with all the organizations teaching their policies are subsequently disfellowshipped or formally expelled and then shunned as apostates. One of the reasons for shunning could be something as simple as reading the Bible. By Franz's account, reading or studying the Bible is considered evil unless conducted

in authorized discussions following watchtower doctoral guides. He thought that was pretty fucked up because of his own work as an author of an official volume about the Bible. Franz privately concluded that the religion prioritized human organization rather than actual biblical teachings. He wrote while producing people who were outwardly moral, they subverted the essential qualities of humility, compassion, and mercy. He wrote that he hoped his book might prompt witnesses to consider the conscientious stand

of defectors with a more open mind. He hoped the discussion of deliberations and decisions of the governing body during his term would illustrate fundamental problems and serious issues within the organization. They demonstrate the extremes to which loyalty to an organization can lead. How does basically how it is that basically kind, well intentioned persons can be led to make decisions and take actions that are unkind unjust even cruel uh... his book does not prompt the witnesses to be more open minded they just keep on trucking

the doomsday is probably coming tomorrow express just keeps rolling on the track same as it seems that ever was back to our main history of the movement now nineteen eighty four the watchtower has non-gun has now excuse me gone back to believing firmly the end of the world it's gonna happen by you know, 2000 at the latest. They can't help themselves. And then, then of course, it doesn't.

Beginning in 2004, various watchtower society properties and Brooklyn are sold in preparation for the establishment of a new world headquarters in New York, completed in 2016. And that's where Jehovah's Witnesses headquarters still stand today. Currently watchtower publications hint that the end of the world is going to occur in 2034. Why 2034? Because no, it preached 120 years until the time of the flood, which was the time of the end to know and his generation. And then they've done some funky math and added that into some other things and they just they fucking they will not quit. Let's hop out of the timeline now and dig further into the beliefs, practices and structure of this very, very strange organization.

Good job, soldier. You made it back. Barely. Let's look at how Jehovah's Witnesses meet first. What kind of places, what the religious ceremonies are like. Meetings for worship and study are held as I barely touched on earlier in Kingdom Halls and they are open to the public. Witnesses are assigned to a congregation in which territory they reside and are expected

to attend weekly meetings as scheduled by the Watchtower Society and Congregation Elders. Weekend meetings are usually but not always held on Sundays. During meetings in another formal circumstances. Witnesses refer to one another as brother and sister. Two meetings each week are divided into five distinct sections, last in total of about four hours. Like in other churches, meetings are open and closed with hymns, although the witnesses refer to their hymns as kingdom songs. Please, please allow me to sing part of one for you. If you're wearing tight pants or holding a pillow in between your legs, please don't sing along. Please don't, please don't bring Satan into this joy as him. Go put on your spib or maybe

you're safe and get the devil out. This is called a Jehovah's attributes. I got a little build a little bit and then I'll jump over to the right time. You know, as far as I understand. Here we go, okay. The Hover, our God, exalted in might, creator of life and provider of light, Creation speaks of your power, So grant the heavens and earth forever stand. Your heavenly throne, On just this it stands, To us you make known all your righteous commands.

And as we turn to your word, We can see your wisdom reveals so brilliantly. The greatest of all is your perfect love, beyond all compare all your gifts from above. And I cannot wait to see the fate of evil sinners, into pop music, wearing swimsuits. Your glory will burn and stomped them out. I cannot wait to hear them scream and pain and shout. Then invisible Jesus, the King of kings, who beat Jerry Christ. In the most important vote of votes,

We'll ride a trusty heaven's deed, And lock the heads off the Baptist and the Buddhist, And people who watch movies Please smile with your mind, and maybe use a laser beam Or something cool to bring the fight to the devil It seems kinda weak, because you can't even burn you in hell So what's this game plan? Oh, oh, oh God, please pick me for the heaven starting squad

Maybe I'm not in like the first 100,000 picks But there's gotta be room in the back, 44,000 for me And for my mother, and for my brother Terry But maybe not my sister Mary Who dressed up to cover her ankles And I cannot tell where her boobies are I cannot tell where her boob is I cannot tell where her boobs are. It's so, I don't know.

Exactly. Confession time. I made up some of those lyrics. The first ones were legit, and it was hard for me to sing because I've never heard the melody, you know? With the music, fucking spot on. That comes straight from jdub.org. That's legit.

Witnesses attend, Witness attendees are urged to prepare for all kingdom hall meetings by studying watchtower society literature for the three of you who are still listening after that selected by organization leadership and by looking up the related scripture. The weekend meeting usually held on Sunday comprises a 30 minute public talk by congregation elder and a one hour question and answer study of a Bible based article from the watch tower magazine. So a little bit of Bible, a lot of the watch tower with questions prepared by the watch tower society. The answer is provided in the magazine.

Okay, got to make sure everyone comes to the correct conclusions. Cult, cult, cult. These meetings, both the community ones and larger ones, very important sociologists who have studied them say that meetings at Kingdom halls intensify witnesses sense of belonging to a religious community and reinforce the idea that the world is ending soon even the watchtower seems to admit this saying that the one role of the frequency and length of the meetings is to protect witnesses from becoming too involved in the affairs of the world stay away from netflix and tiktok you can be tiktok and you know and Spandex shorts,

if you want to get to heaven. Witnesses are told they should never miss a meeting unless there's a serious reason, reason. And witnesses are required to do more than show up at two meetings a week as well. Watched our society also recommends that witnesses maintain a weekly family worship evening for family and personal study.

You know, in addition to those two meetings, there's no formal way family worship meetings are supposed to happen, but no surprises here. The society recommends that members consider watchtower society publications during this time. Read the watchtower. Don't just read the Bible, Willie Nellie, and come up with your own ding-dong conclusions. That's how the devil gets you. Each year witnesses from several congregations will form a circuit and gather for two one-day assemblies. Then several circuits will meet once a year for a three-day regional convention. Then every few years, the governing body of Jehovah's Witnesses will hold international

conventions in selected cities around the world. These are larger gatherings, usually held at rented stadiums. Their most important and solemn event is the celebration of the Lord's evening meal, sometimes called the memorial of Christ death. Joe, his witnesses are taught that this is the only celebration the Bible commands Christians to observe. They celebrated on Nissan 14, according to the ancient Jewish Luna solar calendar. What the fuck?

They can't have used a regular calendar. If you're curious, the next Nissan 14 is April 15th, 2022, then it's April 5th, 2023, then April 22nd, 2024, then April 12th, 2025. It's just fucking needlessly confusing. The memorial held after sunset includes a talk on the meaning of the celebration and the circulation among the audience of unadulterated red wine and unleavened, unleavened bread. Jehovah's Witnesses believe the bread symbolizes Jesus Christ's body, which he gave on behalf of mankind.

The wine symbolizes his blood, which redeems one from sin. But because many congregations have no members who will claim to be anointed, very common for no one to eat the bread and no one to drink the wine. And it gets thrown in the trash at the end of the service like God intended. Not kidding. Jehovah's Witnesses believe that being anointed involves a personal revelation by God's spirit, which gives positive assurance of adoption to that individual alone. They believe only the 144,000 are anointed.

So if you drink that bread or wine, you are basically announcing to your congregation that invisible Jesus has told you that you're one of the chosen few. Most Christians believe that anyone who has accepted Jesus as their personal savior are anointed. To be anointed simply means that you have the Holy Spirit in you, that you were chosen by God, and to be chosen, you just have to choose Christ, so pretty easy application process. How weird is to lay out a bunch of bread and wine? And they just throw it all away. Let's pivot now to what Jehovah's Witnesses believe. Witnesses hold a number of traditional evangelical Christian views, like many we've covered in other sucks, including the recent suck about the aggressive Christian missionary training core cult,

but they also have many beliefs very unique to them. Witnesses affirm that God Jehovah is the most high. Jehovah is a Latinized form of the Hebrew name of God used in some translations of the Bible. Witnesses also believe that Jesus Christ as God's agent on earth, and through Jesus, sinful meets acts can be reconciled to God. And that the Holy Spirit is the name of God's active force in the world. But they think that these are three distinct entities, that Jesus as God's son, not God,

not as powerful as God, and there could be more of God's sons later. Like many evangelicals, Joho's witnesses believe they are under obligation to God to give witness by participating in organized and spontaneous evangelizing. Prospective members are told they have a moral obligation to service publishers by participating

in the witnesses organized preaching work, qualifying as an unbaptized publisher is a requirement for baptism. And the way you become a publisher is by going from door to door telling people about the quote, truth, got a handout Doomsday literature convinced people that God's wrath is coming. And you better join our weird little club. If you want to have a lottery ticket chance of getting into heaven, children usually accompany parents on these visits or go with other elders.

In addition to door to door preaching, witnesses are taught that they should seek opportunities to witness informally By starting conversations with people they meet during routine activities Like you know when they're out shopping or on public transport No direct the conversation towards their beliefs and that has never happened to me. What a bummer I must project a pretty strong vibe of not interested Unfortunate since I would love to be bothered about this kind of stuff. I'm sure the conversation would eventually get deliciously uncomfortable. Basically, anything bad happening in the news, current events, whatever.

That's a cue for watchtower, you know, the watchtower to say that the witnesses need to preach more. Much like Keith Reneere's Nexium Cult and those stupid sashes, you can level up by preaching more. Members who commit themselves to evangelize for 840 hours per year and average of 70 hours per month They get to be called regular pioneers, but no trophy and no cool t-shirt. No gifts are typically to Dave and Busters Just a title honestly, it doesn't even sound that cool. It sounds like they didn't think that hard about these titles regular pioneers come on

How about like trailblazer or invisible Jesus Ranger? That sounds better than regular pioneer Those who commit themselves to who've analyzed for 50 hours for one month are called auxiliary pioneers. Some witnesses go even more above and beyond. They volunteer for special missionary service. These poor people dedicate on average more than 120 hours per month to their work. Members who are not able to pioneer

are told they can maintain the pioneer spirit by spending as much time as they can helping others preach. This is a regular pioneer is really looked down on those who only have a little bit of pioneer spirit. There's a whole lot of other vocabulary for people that's a lot of complicated bullshit like the term minister for all Jehovah's Witnesses who have been approved to formally evangelize. They call their baptisms ordnations unbaptized publishers are considered regular ministers, baptized publishers are considered ordained ministers. Other than going door to door, witnesses are also instructed to organize information marches.

That's when they wear sandwich boards and handout leaflets. They've also spread their message doing super fun and not obnoxious at all shit, like driving around cars with speakers, blasting sermons and publishing articles and newspapers. You drive with your speakers around our office enough witnesses and I swear to God, I'll slash your fucking tires. I predict that Jehovah will not stop you from doing that.

During the recent pandemic, many Jehovah's Witnesses focused on alternative methods of evangelism such as online web applications, telephone, email, SMS texting, regular old snail mail. Please send me a spam text, witnesses. Would love to open up a text thread and see where it goes. All right, we'll play a little game of who blocks who? I bet I'll block, you know, or you'll block me before I block you. All this, how much you preach what your rank is, you know, even which houses you visit, it's all kept track of very meticulously.

God's Armageddon accountants will not forget to add up all your good deeds. Witnesses are instructed to fill out monthly report slips on their preaching activity, listing the hours they spent preaching, the publications they gave to people, the number of return visits they made to people who seemed interested, kind of like how a company tracks the success of its sales force. With these reports, elders measure members spirituality. Aye, aye, aye. How spiritual are you?

Well, you're not getting many return visits. So, you know, I guess God doesn't fucking like you that much or you don't care that much about God They got to establish whether or not people are eligible to be elders to be ministerial or ministerial servants And if one of these people gets you if you start believing that they're actually in possession of the truth You can expect to have to prove how serious you are about becoming a Jehovah's Witness You'll have to take a Bible study course for several months when you join You'll have to go to meetings at Kingdom Halls, show your elders that you're willing to go door-to-door with everyone else. Before you're able to get baptized, you'll have to have discussions

with elders based on questions provided by the Watchtower Society. They are not interested in any half-ass slackers joining their ranks. People who can walk the walk only please. Then if you can pass their little fucked up pop quiz, you get baptized and you get rewarded with less than a 1% chance of salvation. That 144,000 number just kills me. You know a lot of members have to hate that. It's got to make it so hard to get new converts. Imagine how hard it would be to be a door to door salesman. If you were not selling knives, for example, but we're selling a small chance to win those knives. It's ridiculous. Hey, Hey, name's Joe Franken. Do I have a deal for you?

Would you like a set of never have to be sharpened microcarbates stainless steel knives? Well, for just $10, I can sell you a ticket that gives you a one in five million chance of winning these knives at a yet to be determined date. If you do pass or quiz, you'll most likely get baptized in a pool, probably at a bigger assembly or convention because it makes for a great photo op. A lot of people get baptized at once. Before you get in the water, you make a public declaration about your dedication to Jehovah, then a speaker will ask you two questions. Have you repented of your sins dedicated yourself to Jehovah and accepted his way of salvation through Jesus Christ? It was like that first

questions, really three questions, but whatever. Then you're asked, do you understand that your baptism identifies you as one of Jehovah's witnesses in association with Jehovah's organization? After you say yes, you get dunked in the water and now ta-da! Your Jehovah's Witness! Hope you got all the blow jobs you ever wanted before you joined. Hope you got that pussylect. It's fun times over now. And Lucifer no wept.

Let's look further into what beliefs you just agreed to subscribe to as a freshly dunked Jehovah's Witness. The core notion embraced by Jehovah's Witnesses is of course that Armageddon is imminent. And the only way to be saved from a terrible end times death is to religiously abide by their tenants, which are dispensed by the watchtower governing body, a ruling council of male elders who function as God's earthly vessels. Currently eight old white dudes. One time we're getting kicks off.

Witnesses granted access to what they will be granted access to what they call the new system, a post-apocalyptic paradise, where they can begin to live their real lives as opposed to their new current new system prologue existences in the here and now. Because here's this thing, it's all kind of weird, but it's like the 144,000 they get you go to heaven when they die

But the but the faithful Jehovah's Witnesses when the rapture comes and God smites everybody They get to finish their regular lives here on earth, but like in a super fun paradise you wait The new system is this reality, you know That'll exist when when Michael the Ark angel aka Jesus Christ. They do believe they're one and the same When Jesus Michael Christ slotters every believe they're one and the same. When Jesus Michael Christ slaughters every man, woman, and child and baby that doesn't align themselves with the watchtower society in America,

the new system is according to watchtower literature and some super fun illustrations. It looks like some kind of vegetarian, socialist, utopia where the dead are resurrected and everyone owns a pet tiger and a panda apparently. And they walk around in 70s, loose-fitting polyester slacks, like petting lions and stuff. It's fucking super weird. All the rules in your golden disobey or even question the rules and you risk, you know,

being disfellowshipped, excommunicated. Uh, you know, and if you've been along enough, being disfellowshipped, you know, removes you from friends, family, the only community you've ever known, cult, cult, cult, those who acknowledge Jehovah in this life will become members of the millennial kingdom, maybe, but probably not because of the 144,000 numbers that I talked about, those who reject him will for sure not go to hell, but will just face extinction. Witnesses are encouraged to devote themselves to bringing more converts into the religion before the end of the world arrives.

In 2010, watch Tower literature introduced the overlapping generations theory, which claims that the end times will come before the death of everyone who was alive at the same time, and it's anyone who was alive in 1914. They fucked up Sony predictions. They're just making it like weird and weirder now. Like Scientology and a lot of other cults, like our own cult of the curious, they have a lot of invocab terms to describe each other. Some of the stuff we went over, dysphelo-ship, PMO, short for physically in, mentally out, the two

witness rule, you know, in scriptural decree, which states that no Jehovah's Witness can be officially accused of something, of committing sin without two corroborating eyewitness accounts, horrific, as I mentioned earlier, and we'll deal with this, so we'll talk about that more when we get into the allegations about Jehovah's Witnesses later. Members are expected to follow a strict code of personal conduct. Marriage is considered a holy event. Divorces disapproved of except in cases of adultery, abuse, neglect, or if your partner is no longer a witness than it's encouraged.

Families are patriarchal with the husband considered the final authority on family decisions. That part's pretty sweet. Let Lindsay know shortly that that is what God wants. Currently does not listen to me on all matters. Crazy. He's like, I have no brain. Oh, that's not what God said. Wedding's anniversary's funerals are observed. They'll they avoid incorporating certain traditions. They believed to have pagan origins. The watchtower has stated that the use of wedding rings by witnesses, witnesses is acceptable. Even though wedding rings may have been first used by pagans based on their

conclusion that there's no definitive evidence wedding rings were used as part of pagan religious practices. Okay. Witnesses typically do observe wedding anniversaries with the watchtower society noting that wedding anniversaries apparently do not stem from pagan origins, but there's no Halloween, no Christmas, no Easter celebration, no birthdays. I'm sure a lot of you remember kid in school, I had to say no to those cupcake getting passed around. Or you were that kid yourself, no fun for the witness child, even Mother's Day as a pagan origin supposedly.

Like many other conservative Christian sex abortion, you know, considered murder, homosexuality, premarital sex, extramarital sex, considered serious sins, God hates sex. You especially hate to when you stick a peen in a poop hole loophole, especially extra, especially if that loophole is near some dudes, tiddly winks, man butt loopholes, full of so much devil, full of a little extra devil, especially when they're concentrated.

God's dang that peeves, God. Smoking, including vaping, abusive drugs and drunkenness are prohibited, though alcohol is permitted in moderation. Makes total sense. God hates weed and shrubs, but he likes occasional beer. Everyone who knows anything about God knows that. The society stresses dressing modestly and that if members don't dress modestly,

they could cause others to stumble on their religious path and fall right into Satan's nest, right? God hates tight jeans and short skirts. We went over that. Those lead to boners and wet pusses. God hates those. Entertainment promoting immoral, demonic, or violent themes like this podcast or consider

very inappropriate. No surprises there. If you're a witness, listening to this podcast, whoa, but do not tell any of your elders. They're not letting you pine ears or publishers or jugglers or pegas or swords, all of us or half elf paladins or fucking whatever. You know, find out that your time's second. God hates me and hates a show. Guessing your witness brethren would not laugh if your Bluetooth disconnected and they

heard some of this, you became a commons law victim. You'd be quickly disfellowshipped. Disfellowshipped. Which might suck it first, but you writing in about that would probably be one of the greatest time sucker updates of all time. And after recommending to life outside the witnesses, I think you'll probably be a lot happier. The witnesses' teachings also stress strict separation from all secular government, although they are generally law-biting and believe the governments are established by God to maintain

some peace and order. They refuse on biblical grounds to observe certain laws. For example, it will not sooth the flag of any nation because they think that's an act of false worship. They refuse to perform military service, which has made them very unpopular in nations that require military service. They won't participate in public elections, which means as a voting base, they don't fucking matter. The do pay taxes, but only because they have to or they're end up in jail. They can't work in any government post.

Instead of believing they're beholden to any kind of secular legal system, as I mentioned earlier, they have their own internal processes for dealing with shit. They like to deal with problems in house big time. Formal discipline is administered by congregation elders, the event that an accusation of serious sin is made concerning a baptized member, the elders, they will talk to the accused individual. If it's determined that a serious sin has been committed, a tribunal or judicial committee, usually composed of three elders.

Almost always old white men is formed to determine guilt, administer help, and possibly apply sanctions. Dispheloshiping is the most severe sanction. Before taking this step, the judicial committee must determine that the individual has committed a serious sin and there's evidence of true, and there's no evidence, excuse me, of true

repentance. After a person is disfellowshipped, the person is then shunned by all baptized members. Reproof, another form of sanctioning. Members considered truly repentant are reproved rather than disfellowshipped. Reproof is given before all onlookers based on an interpretation of First Timothy, but those elders who are sinning you are to approve before everyone so that others may take warning. If the sin is known generally by the entire congregation of the community, an announcement is made informing the congregation that one person has been

approved. Teddy has been approved. He wore tight pants three days in a row. He knows what he did. And he will be wearing hammer pants going forward. Uh, approved members usually have some congregation privileges restricted until the elders decide that the member has regained spiritual strength. Mostly these privileges are, you know, things like getting to speak and meetings and getting to pray for a particular group. Uh, Another form of sanctioning is called marking. Marking is applied when a member's course of action is a violation of the Bible's principles, but isn't worth getting disfellowshipped for?

Maybe the pants aren't that tight. The person gets counseling, and if they don't respond to it in the way that the society wants, they get marked, which means that an announcement is made to the group saying that someone's actions are wrong. Teddy's pants are kind of tight, and we don't care for it, and that's why he sits in the naughty corner. Mark people are not shown completely, but

their social contact is limited. Don't talk to Teddy today. It's crazy. These practices and beliefs are the big one to reach the news. And one you might already know about is the Jehovah's Witness ban on blood transfusions, even in a dire medical emergency. This is based on their interpretation of scriptures like Leviticus 1710, and 11, I will certainly set my face against the one who was eating the blood and Acts 1529 abstained from blood. Actually, I think it's just that. Yeah, but Leviticus 1710, sorry. Interesting that you follow this Leviticus directive, but ignore so many others like Leviticus 173, ye eat neither fat nor blood or 1927, ye shall not round the corners of your heads, neither shout

thou, mar the corners of thy beard. Or when God says in chapter 21 that you should not allow dwarves into your congregation, not joking. Whosoever, he be of thy seed and their generation that hath any blemish, let him not approach to offer the bread of his God than a bunch of different people are listed, including dwarfs. The book of Leviticus is full of so much crazy shit, literally no denomination accepts all this book

as actual rules you should follow. So why pick any out? Why accept any of them? Just like it's weird and nonsensical to focus just on homosexuality, also weird to single out and focus on blood transfusions. This idiotic policy has led to numerous deaths and lawsuits over the years. In one case, a 16-year-old was in an automobile accident, needed surgery, surgery that would

require blood transfusions, physicians attempted to persuade the patient and his mom, a divorce with custody of her son, to consent to the transfusion. She turned them down when the surgeon told the patient's mom that the patient was in imminent danger of dying from his injuries without the blood transfusion, and she denied them yet again, referring that her son would literally just die instead of getting medical treatment that was readily available that she considered to send the hospital took action. The hospital's legal counsel filed a petition in the state court to appoint a legal guardian for the 16-year-old patient to get them a transfusion.

The state quickly appointed a judge. The patient's condition got worse over the following days until the guardian decided that he needed the blood transfusion or he was definitely going to die. Excuse me, the patient had to be restrained, was administered three units of packed red blood cells. And after that, because of this transfusion, the patient recovered and was discharged one and a half months later, lived, hailed them, Rod. Mom should have been thankful that her son lived, but of course,

was not. She got pissed and she sued the hospital. Fucking sick and bojangles. Go get her. In 2019, a Jehovah's Witness woman died in the Pennsylvania hospital because she didn't get a blood transfusion and then her family tried to sue the hospital for wrongful death. That lawsuit thankfully thrown out. So many cases like this infuriating with kids under age 18 I do not think parents should be allowed to deny them things like blood transfusions Regardless of religion if you're over 18 though and you've decided that you should not get the transfusion you need to survive

Well, all right fine go ahead and die Maybe hopefully maybe hopefully die before you have kids and raise them to also make decisions like this Maybe harsh I know but come on if someone is this committed and determined to be that stupid, why should the rest of us care about their welfare? Dying in your own terms, I guess. Jehovah's Witnesses also believe that giving blood is bad. They claim that storing blood violates direction from the Bible, to poor blood out onto the ground, also dumb.

Now that we know more about some of their more peculiar beliefs, let's take a look at the bigger picture again. Is being a Jehovah's Witness, you know, being an occult? It's a debate we've had here before with the LDS Church and Scientology, specifically. You already know my answer, but I'll walk you through how I got there. Many it seems, possibly most sociologists and religious scholars have said that witnesses are cult members, basing this on witnesses' tendency to elevate peripheral teachings, such as door-to-door preaching, to great prominence,

leaning on an extra scriptural source of authority, like the watchtower, saying that the Bible may be understood only as interpreted by the governing body, and that the group views itself as the exclusive community of the saved, all of which is true. Watchtower publications do teach that witnesses alone are God's people, and that they alone will survive on. Again, witness publications also claim the group was called into existence by God to fill

a gap in the truth neglected by existing churches, making them the sort of end of days vanguard type common in cults. Jehovah's Witnesses, of course, state that they are not a cults, say that although individuals need proper guidance from God, they should do their own thinking, but they don't actually practice that. X cult watchdog, John Bowen Brown, the second several others have rejected the assertion that Jehovah's Witnesses are cult. Incyclopedia contemporary American religion states, various critics and ex members in recent years have wrongly labeled Jehovah's Witnesses as a cult.

So is it a cult or not? Let's go through some cult criteria. First off, a cult has a single unquestioned leader who makes all the rules with no accountability and usually he's fucking a lot of people. So that does not seem to be the case with Jehovah's Witnesses. Second, you have cohabitation. Cult members often live in a group or a commune. Often with the leader, remember Debra Green from the ACMTC.

Members are often not allowed to leave the cult or even the cult compound. Even temporary excursions among outsiders are done in pairs or in groups with a trusted member always present. Jehovah's Witnesses do not always live together, but there are many communities and a lot of stories we'll go over later where people have found it very hard to leave because their business depends on other witnesses hiring them. Their entire social circle is dependent on other members. So I'm going to say maybe for this, I mean, it's not a compound, but it's compound like

and how insular the world of the witness becomes, thanks to a variety of church policies designed to do that, to separate them from other people, to have them not form any close relationship with outsiders. A third, this plays into that isolation. Members are often not allowed to interact, socialize with outsiders, frequently required to separate from their friends and families. So, you know, check. They definitely isolate people.

If a member is disfellowshipped, they are expected to be shunned by a baptized member. Witnesses are told to literally physically turn away from members who have been shunned. Don't even, you know, look at them. Don't talk to them, you know, very culty. Or if it's coercion, cults use recruitment methods, often including sleep deprivation, withholding of food or bathroom breaks, forced labor, not giving the members time or space to engage with different ideas.

I'm gonna go with a soft yes on this one, spending all your free time to indoor-to-door preaching, probably counts as some kind of deprivation or forced labor. They're not supposed to read anything that isn't watched our material. They're expected to shun as much of the secular world as possible. Fifth repetition,

quote, members are told what to believe in a daily basis with intense, though often subtle, indoctrination techniques used to hold members. The few items that distinguish that cult are repeated endlessly. I mean, that's a big yes. The constant Armageddon talk. Clearly, what they are expected to think about the most. Six exclusiveness, cult initiates are told that only select members of the cult will reach the ultimate goal. This is incentive to stay and be more dedicated to the cult. Yes, big, big time yes, all that pioneer,

auxiliary pioneer, ordained versus regular minister, et cetera, talk the 144,000 talk, only the best, most faithful witnesses. I know records kept on how well they're doing with their preaching, you know, all that stuff. Bees into this. Seven alienation cult adherents are encouraged or even bullied into thinking in terms of us versus them with total alienation from them. Big yes. Members are constantly warned about being pulled into the secular world, you know, of being pulled away from the spiritual world by, you know, back in the all the type pants talk. The devil is everywhere outside of their insular world of meetings, formless playing clothes,

preaching about the apocalypse, that kind of shit. And then eighth, totalitarian and controlling. Colts ask significantly more time and money from their adherents, often asking for a person's life savings to progress in the organization. They are usually totalitarian and demand that the individual give themselves up to the organization or theology. When Colt members give money, there's no accountability for how it's spent. I mean, that's, that's a kind of.

They are controlling. They hang the threat of being disfellowshipped over members heads constantly, but they don't ask for all of their members money. And they are pretty transparent actually in showing where a lot of the money goes, but they do expect them to work for them for free and to donate everything they can and not spend money on secular world luxury since it's, you know, ending soon. So I've got one hard no to maybe five yeses. One of them is pretty soft out of eight categories.

So just I for me just barely tips into officially being, you know, cult, cult, cult. I do think they're a cult of sorts like Scientology. They don't all live in a compound, but cult mentality, not living on a doomsday compound, getting literally fucked by cult leader, but also not a casual laid back system of religious beliefs where it's like, hey, you know, you can kind of come and go. I certainly would be, I would be very worried and sad. If a family member or a friend told me they had joint, it all seems just so incredibly negative, continually focusing on an impending apocalypse, worshiping a God that seems to

never want you to feel good or experience any pleasure A god who demands stricter obedience and return probably is not even going to reward you with anything that positive Sounds absolutely terrible in every way And if you push back on all that you're shunned Yeah, yeah fuck all this very culty Now let's talk about some very sad serious troubling tragic and largely avoidable scandals If my anger towards the witnesses did not seem justified so far, I really hope this will change it.

Back in March of 1997, the Watchtower Bible and Track Society, the nonprofit organization that oversees the Jehovah's Witnesses, sent a letter to each of its 10,883 U.S. congregations and to many more congregations worldwide. The organization was concerned about a legal risk posed by possible child molesters within its ranks. The letter laid out instructions on how to deal with a known sexual predator. Go to the police, help the investigation anyway you can, support the victim and or victims. If the system fails, kill that motherfucker.

JK unfortunately, JK. No, the instructions were right out of detailed report, answering 12 questions. Was this a one-time occurrence? Were they just dabblin' and didlin'? Or did the accused have a history of child molestation? How is the accused viewed within the community? Good guy? When he's not sticking his wean and under-aged loopholes?

Does anyone else know about the abuse? This reads to me as, can we cover it up? And there were other numerous questions. And then witnesses were to mail this to Watchtower headquarters in a special blue envelope. Also, keep a copy of the report in the congregations, confidential file, and don't share it with anyone else. This was a follow up to a 1989 letter in which Watchtower discourage elders from reporting wrongdoing to civil authorities very clearly. Part of that letter read, elders share the obligation to shepherd the flock. However, they must be careful not to divulge information about personal matters to unauthorize persons. There is, quote, a time to keep quiet, when your words should prove to be few. Ecclesiastes, 3.7 and 5.2. Proverbs 10, 19 warns,

in the abundance of words, there does not fail to be transgression, but the one keeping his lips in check is acting discreetly. Often the peace, unity, and spiritual well-being of the congregation are at stake. In proper use of the tongue by an elder can result in serious legal problems for the individual, the congregation, and even the society, as in the watchtower society. While we as Christians are ready to forgive others who may wrong us, those in the world are not so inclined. Worldly persons are quick to resort to lawsuits if they feel that their, quote unquote, rights

have been violated. Some who oppose the kingdom preaching work readily take advantage of any legal provisions to interfere with it or impede its progress. Thus elders must especially guard the use of the tongue. Jesus faced opposers who tried to quote catch him in speech, so as to turn him over to the government. Luke, 2020. Wow. Victims writes and quotes in quotes there. They just quoted scripture to justify hiding criminals in their midst, including based on the history. I'm going to share sexual predators.

Does that feel pretty evil? Feels pretty evil to me. These creepy governing body positives should continue with, in recent years, this matter has come to be a cause for increasing concern. The spirit of the world has sensitized people regarding their legal rights and the legal means by which they can exact punishment

if such rights are violated. Hence, a growing number of vindictive or disgruntled ones, as well as opposers, have initiated lawsuits to inflict financial penalties on the individual, the congregation, or the society. Many of these lawsuits are the results of the misuse of the tongue. As elders, remember that ill-advised statements

or actions on your part can sometimes be interpreted legally as violating others' rights. Anything submitted in writing to the committee by the alleged wrongdoer or by witnesses should be kept in strict confidence. If it is necessary to continue at a later time, a committee hearing, the members of the committee should submit the chairman any personal notes they have taken. The chairman will keep these notes in a secure place to prevent breaches of confidentiality. Upon conclusion of the case, the chairman should place

only necessary notes and documents, a summary of the case, and the S7-7-7 forms in a sealed envelope for the congregation file. Nothing should be preserved outside of this sealed envelope, including unnecessary personal notes, or by buying elder or the committee. Obviously, no committee will ever allow judicial proceedings to be tape recorded or allow witnesses testifying before the committee to take notes. Obviously, if you if you approve the reliable and a crime, we're not going to record that. Come on, don't worry. We're not going to take notes. Help save our holy organization by making sure our members can keep quietly fucking kids. And that is what all this is really about.

Here's what we start to get to the part about molestation. Many states have child abuse reporting laws. When elders receive reports of physical or sexual abuse of a child, they should contact the society's legal department immediately. Victims of such abuse need to be protected from further danger. Not contact the police. No, contact the society's legal department. As in the watch tower society's lawyers,

because they have their own legal offices, you can connect with them on their website right now if you want. You can probably report some sexual abuse. They'll be happy to hide for you. They continue. In some cases, the elders will form judicial committees to handle alleged wrongdoing.

That also could constitute a violation of Caesar's criminal laws. EG theft assault is set, you know, Caesar's in the government. Generally a secular investigation to the matter that is a concern to the congregation should not delay conducting a judicial hearing. To avoid entanglement with the secular authorities who may be investigating the same matter, the stricter confidentiality, even of the fact that there

is a committee must be maintained. Don't snitch like we talked about last week. Don't talk about it. Don't cooperate with authorities. You know, what you're doing with our blessing is technically very illegal. So shut the fuck up. They continue. If the alleged wrongdoer confesses to the sin, crime, no one else should be present besides

the members of the committee. When evidence supports the accusationation but genuine repentance is not displayed resulting in a decision to disfellowship, this should be handled in the normal course regarding advice of appeal rights and announcements to the congregation. In cases of serious criminal wrongdoing, e.g. murder, rape, etc. where the criminal conduct is widely known in the community, the body of elders should contact the society before proceeding with the judicial committee process. Wow, contact the society first, even in cases of murder and rape.

Not the police. Now, let them figure out if they can cover it up or not. Advice like this is how the Jehovah's Witnesses built what might be the world's largest database of undocumented child molesters, at least two decades worth of names and addresses, likely numbering in the tens of thousands and detailed acts of alleged abuse, most of which have never been shared with law enforcement, all scanned and searchable in a Microsoft SharePoint file somewhere. Watchtower has refused to comply with multiple court orders to release information, containing his database and has paid millions of dollars

over the years to keep it a secret, even from survivors whose stories are contained in the file. They have an army of lawyers, they're able to hire with those very deep pockets they've gotten thanks to donations from members, donations in many cases from the families of victims, man, fuck the watch tower. Truly glad they're being persecuted around the world.

With policies like this, they fucking deserve it. Exactly how many alleged pedophiles are named in the database has been the source of wide ranging speculation. In 2002, one former elder said the number was 23,720. That was almost 20 years ago. Almost 24,000 pedophiles. And most don't victimize just one kid. How many kids do those 23,705 molest? 100,000? 200,000?

We have no idea. Thankfully some people are trying to change that. Like ex-witness Marco Donald. He left the religion in late 2013. His parents, Jerry and Susan, had started attending Jehovah's Witness meetings in the mid-60s after another couple from Baltimore, told them of watchtower's prediction that the world would end in 1975, bringing death to all non-witnesses, transforming Earth into a paradise for the faithful. So fear, fear, fear, it worked. 1968. Just after Mark is born, Jerry and Susan are group baptized in a swimming pool in Washington, DC. As a kid, he attends at least five meetings a week, plus several additional weekly hours of private Bible study. Cult. Cult. Cult. On Saturday mornings, he joins his parents in field service, knocking on doors and search

a new conference. He's taught that most people outside the organization are corrupted by Satan. And given half a chance, they'll try and steal from him, drug him, rape him. I used taught that mainstream books and magazines are considered the work of Satan. If you broke any of their religions' main rules, he'll be disfellowshipped, meaning that even his own family will shun him. Cult, cult, cult. Throughout Mark's childhood,

he hears elders often cite proverbs 13, 24, whoever holds back his rod hates his son. Mark's parents took the lesson to heart and beat him frequently. The God of Jehovah's Witnesses, to me, sounds like a real piece of shit. Loves to beat kids, hates boners, hates pus, loves hide and pedophiles. When he was 12, Mark became suspicious of a local witness named Lewis, uh, Ang Sinco,

a single flight attendant on Sinco, uh, single flight attendant and self-appointed pie, Piper of children, called himself a pie-piper creepy, uh, who would bring home, uh, I can never, told, told, told a ron. It's a candy that Lindsay gets actually and I can never remember how to say it. It's these candy bars. T-O-B-L-E-R-O-N-E. You've seen them and they're always at airports. You bring these candy bars back for local witness kids and invite them to his apartment to act out religious place. My God. He's luring kids to his apartment with candy literally. Not suspicious at all there. Mark noticed

up sinko touching young girls in a way that made him uncomfortable. This guy was also a masseuse and he would massage these girls, told an elder about his concerns rather than take action. You know, the elder told on Sinko what Mark had said, fucking ratted him out to the guy who's, you know, molesting kids. Maybe that elder was a P.O. too. A few days later, Angsingo pulls Mark aside scolds him. And Mark's instincts were correct. Years later, in 2001, one of Mark's childhood friends,

Aaron Michele Schifflett, along with four of the women, all sue Angsingo for sexual assault. Their cases were settled out of a court for an undisclosed sum, and then Angsingo died in 2016. Apparently, he'd been raping these girls for years. Mark's life in the witnesses,

representative of so many others, when Mark wanted to go to college, his parents told him the world was ending soon, so why bother? So he didn't. At the age of 17, despite having already knocked out a year of college credit via high school, and a guidance counselor imploring him to apply to college,

he decides, you know, just to stop with his high school diploma. He's baptized, then starts his exercise equipment repair company, the business provides enough flexibility for him to perform 50 hours of field service for the witnesses every month, which qualifies him for the rank of auxiliary pioneer. One day when Mark was installing the sound system in a new kingdom hall in Baltimore, fall in 1997, a young woman named Kimmy Weber asked to buy his ladder. At 20 years old, Kimmy was putting in more than 90 hours of field service in a month, making her a full-fledged pioneer. She was really in. She completed a two-year program in a community college on a scholarship, and then later she got permission from local elders to get her bachelor's degree, fucking permission to get a bachelor's degree. Some

old dudes running her congregation, cult, cult, cult. Mark was drawn to her drive and intensity. He tracked down our email address. They floored it over AOL instant messenger. Eight months later, they were married. They wanted to start a family, but they decided to wait until after the rapture. You know, when the earth and their kids will be perfect. When Jesus Michael Christ was done smiting

and burning evil doers and whatnot. In the meantime, Kimmy began opening their home to abused and abandoned cats. Mark's business, his business grows. He brings on additional employees, In the meantime, Kimmy began opening their home to abuse and abandon cats. Mark's business, his business grows. He brings on additional employees, mostly other witnesses. When he and Kimmy have enough money to buy the house across the street as a rental property, they fill its three units with other witnesses.

They go on some ski vacation, softball games, dinner parties, they have game nights, always with other witnesses. They're having as much fun as Jesus will out. Mark is happy ish. He likes his friends, but he is aware that he's living in a J Dub bubble, in a J Dub echo chamber. He'd also been hearing rumors that watch tower organization, or that's the watch tower organization was covering up cases of pedophilia and child abuse. You know, suspicions that watch tower publication would always dismiss as, you know, apostate-driven lies, you know, the devil trying to bring him down

with slander and gossip. Then one day, a few years after he and Kimmy get married, Mark sees a protester outside of witness convention, holding up a sign that reads, a JW elder molested me. It looks at the sign, something snaps into place in his brain, he is fields in his guts, this dude's not lying.

And then he can't stop thinking about this guy. He thinks about it for years, and then in in 2013 he's finally ready to leave the church. 2013 is the year Mark has an extreme reaction to an antibiotic and he ends up confined to his couch for several weeks, removed from constant meetings, constant Bible studies for the first time in his life. He's left alone with his thoughts for the first time in his adult life and it begins to admit to himself that he no longer believes the apocalypse is imminent. Sacrillage. And he always, uh, you know, felt that Jehovah's Witnesses he knew were no more deserving of God's mercy than many nonbelievers.

He met him. It's just to himself. He was 45 years old now in poor health and he wondered how much more of his life that he want to waste inside the J. Dubbubble. He'd always been in that November. As he and Kimmy are preparing to spend the weekend at a friend's house. He suddenly stops packing and he just tells Kimmy he's done. He can't maintain the facade anymore and he will never attend another meeting. Kimmy not ready to leave. She keeps going to meetings. And now her witness friends try to pressure her to divorce her husband Mark because he's not a witness anymore.

They tell her Jehovah comes first, cult, cult. She doesn't want to leave Mark though She trying to figure out a way for her to stay a witness, you know, while Mark is no longer in the church Luckily their connection is stronger than the powerful hold of the witnesses Thank God they had each other Mark's doctor had suggested that he take daily walks as part of his recovery Kimmy already was doing evening stroll so he starts to join her on their walks Mark tells Kimmy he had once planned to be an engineer that he'd been forced to choose between God and his ambition.

Kimmy said she once dreamed of being a doctor or a veterinarian. She revealed she'd always been terrified also that having kissed Mark before they were married meant she was going to die in the apocalypse. She was afraid that she and Mark missed her chance to have kids, you know, because we're waiting for the end of the world. Mark who had started reading so-called apostate material, anything not published by the watchtower, watching YouTube videos created by former Jehovah's Witnesses who pointed out fallacies and lies from the watchtower, he starts sharing this info with Kimmy, challenging what she'd been taught, such as the truth about

that 1975 Doomsday prediction. Inside the witnesses, their history of constantly fucking up these predictions gets continually covered up. If a witness were to hear this podcast, for example, and tell us some elders, well, they would get in trouble for listening, but if they wouldn't believe it though, right? I'm a liar, I'm crefted by Satan, I made it all up. Kimmy had grown up believing that overzealous witnesses, not the Watchtower chose that date. Nope. Mark who rarely threw things away and courage her to read original, old, watchtower articles. He had kept since he was a kid, exhorting members of the faith to sell their homes for the

1975 Apocalypse. Hard to deny that kind of evidence. Now Kimmy was learning that she had been lied to her whole life. And by August of 2014, Kimmy's faith begins to really unravel. She also begins to tell Mark things she had never told him before, like how her mother would lock her and her siblings in their bedrooms or in the basement for days at a time with no food and a litter box for a toilet. All part of God's plan, how she would keep them up at night by banging on pots and pans

and sending them to school, delirious and malnourished so that the public school wouldn't corrupt their minds with secular devil knowledge. She was physically abusive to Kimmy's father who worked long hours, largely unaware of how his wife was also abusing their kids. Kimmy's mom used animal cruelty to keep her kids from telling anyone what she was doing. She would drown kittens in the toilet, hang the corpses from a ceiling fan in their bedrooms, place him in a jar by her fucking kids' beds, which the kids interpreted as their mom telling them that she will kill them if they don't do as they're told. What the fuck? It was like maybe instead of invisible Jesus,

maybe her mom was talking to invisible Jerry Christ. Maybe Jerry Christ was giving her, giving her mom some crazy talk. Ah, you can trust me. I was almost a king of heaven for my bro, for a gunstool for all of me, gosh dang. Go ahead, hang the kitten from a fan. No, no, no, my dad gets mad about it.

I'll talk to him. 12 years old, she's brave enough to go to the elders in her congregation to ask for help from her mom's abuse. They tell her that she can't report her mom to the police because it would make the organization look bad. We went over how much sexual abuse they may have been covering up. How much physical abuse have they been covering up?

How much abuse in general are they still covering up? They discourage her from seeking counseling because a therapist might blame their religion, might get the authorities involved. They're so gross. Finally, the elders asked Kimmy a question. If her mom did end up killing her, could that prevent Jehovah from resurrecting her in the apocalypse anyway?

So she says no, and then they tell her just to go home and obey her mom. Oh my god! Who cares if your mom kills you? God will bring you back to life in a couple years tops anyway. What does big deal? Kimmy went to the elders again at 15 to disclose more physical abuse. Here's if your mom kills you. God will bring you back to life in a couple years tops anyway. What does big deal? Kimi went to the elders again at 15 to disclose more physical abuse after she been baptized.

This time the elders said they would now need a second eye witness before they could intervene. If only you and the abuser saw it, now that we can do two-in-a-s rule, Kimi offers her brother as a second witness who had also been abused, but she's then told his testimony won't count because he's not a baptized witness.

So many fucking loopholes. So determined not to help these victims. Kimmy had heard of the two in this rule before she assumed it was a peculiar peculiarity of her local congregation, but then Mark tells her it's not and that it's practiced everywhere and she's fucking horrified and now she's done and she'll never attend another meeting either. Excuse me, both of left the organization now and of course they are severely punished. Another shunned. Mark's witness employees, they all quit. Their witness tenants all move out literally in the middle of the night. Close friends now suddenly pretend to not know them in public, turn their backs to them.

Cult, cult, cult. Mark's business, which have been entirely imported supported almost by witnesses begins to fail He has no degree or formal education to fall back on he decides to fight back He's now determined to learn about the extent of Jehovah witnesses abuse Why what were they trying so hard to keep hidden? Mark joins Facebook under the pseudonym John Redwood begins to find other former witnesses with similar stories as he connects with ex witnesses around the world He's struck by how similar their accounts are to his own. He begins writing about his experiences on Facebook,

his post-Burr conversations with more former witnesses, gives him a new sense of purpose to help people. In the summer of 2015, he and many other ex-witnesses are fascinated by some big Jehovah's Witness hearings in Australia. The investigating commission there had been trying to get testimony from a number or from a member of Watchtower's governing body, which then, you know, consisted of eight

minutes it does now. Watchtower had managed to avoid a subpoena by claiming that the governing body was just advisory and they played no role in creating policy. Mark, who had obsessively collected Watchtower literature his entire life, had the evidence to prove this was not true. Hail Mark, dude, a fucking hero. He digs out an old copy of the branch organization manual and obscure document explaining all the functions of the governing body emails it to Angus Stewart lead litigator in the proceedings.

Stewart uses the manual to subpoena one of the watchtowers governing body members, guy named Jeffrey Jackson. In front of the commission, Jackson becomes the first active member of watchtowers governing body to publicly acknowledge that quote, child abuse is a problem right now throughout the community. He also admits that in most cases, children who make such charges against the Watchtower are telling the truth. Too bad they didn't throw them in prison for making that admission. How much child abuse that motherfucker cover up over the years on his watch? An emotional moment for Mark. He now knew that his knowledge of the Jehovah's Witnesses was good for something other than recruiting other members in the past, bringing more people

into a horrible community. Now he's helping people get out. He's helping justice. In 2017, a Jehovah's Witness man and his girlfriend partially inspired by Mark, they began walking into random kingdom halls in Massachusetts, opening locked file cabinets with a set of stolen keys and taking out copies of sealed documents. They'd heard chatter about watchtower covering up child abuse. At first, they just wanted to see the evidence themselves, see if it was true or not. Most of the documents they take are letters between local elders and watchtower headquarters, or from one congregation to another, discussing alleged sins of individual congregants.

They find out that one young man was disfellowshipped for stealing candy bars. Another for refusing to remove a sign from his van window that said God, that said beating children violates God's law. They find out that a woman was disfellowshipped for having sex with her ex-husband, much more troubling. They also gather dozens of letters dealing with accusations of rape, domestic violence, molestation, including several questionnaires required by the 1997 special blue envelope letter. Not knowing what to do with these documents, the man posted a redacted version of one of

the letters he had stolen on an ex Jehovah's Witnesses subreddit. Just five sentences long, the letter informed watchtower that a ministerial servant had admitted to physically and mentally abusing his wife for years. In the most recent incident, he beat her so badly she had to seek medical attention. If it were not for her concern over the reproach, it would bring on Jehovah's name. So she was supposed to seek medical attention,

but she still didn't, as punishment, the husband was stripped of his rank and he lost special privileges for a little while. He no longer got to handle the microphone at Kingdom hall meetings. Who he doesn't get to touch the microphone. He really learned his lesson. No mention is made of involving the police or taking steps to protect to protect the wife because that didn't happen. Mark reached out to the man who mailed in the

documents, what Mark read horrified him, but didn't surprise him. The sins described letters range from the mundane smoking pot, marital infidelity drunkenness to sexual abuse. One example was a series of letters from a man from Springfield, Massachusetts, who had been disfellowshipped three times and then they just kept letting him back in. When the man was once again reinstated in 2008, someone working in a division of watchtower wrote to his congregation, noting that in 1989, he was said to have allowed his 11 year old stepdaughter to touch his penis on at least two occasions allowed like she wanted to find the letter.

An investigative journalist later tracked down this girl. Now woman she told the reporter he was the adult. I was a kid. I didn't have any choice. It took me two years to go to my mom about it. Her mom immediately went to the congregation's elders who later called the girl and her stepfather in to pray with them together. The woman remembered how humiliating that was. Her stepdad was eventually disfellowship for instances that involved fornication, drunkenness, lying according to letters. But according to the stepdaughter,

his alleged molestation of her resulted only in his being privately approved. A closed door reprimanded. You got a tongue lashing and a temporary loss of privileges. He was not allowed to offer comments during Bible study or lead a prayer for a little while. Oh man, not allowed to comment during Bible studies. That'll teach him to force a stepdaughter to touch his dick. Good job elders. Way to protect your flock, you dumb fucks. No one went to the police. The girl's mom was encouraged to keep the matter private and no attempt was made to keep the stepfather away from other children under his eye. Commander, blessed be the fruit.

Another series of documents detailed the case of a witness from the Palmer congregation in Brimfield, Massachusetts, who allegedly aggressively and repeatedly sexually abused his two daughters and another young girl. One of the man's daughters said he had tied her down and molested her. Other said he had raped her repeatedly for nine years. He allegedly took one of his daughters into the woods, showed her where he would bury each of her body parts if she ever told. The girl who wasn't his daughter said he raped her in his neighbor's mobile home when she

was only four years old and what did the elders do? I bet you can guess fucking nothing. At first they took only nominal action because one of the sisters refused to accuse her father in person then in 2003 the elders finally disfellowshipped the man. Oh no, he got disfellowshipped. I have free confessed to molesting at least one of his daughters but then he was reinstated a year later so who gives a shit? They didn't go to the police. Those elders should be in prison with that pito right now. You know, maybe they didn't want to let the police in because they were doing so much shit.

Candace Conti, another person who was spoken out about her suffering at the hands of JW Elders, she was raised a witness in Fremont, California. When she was nine, the elders in her congregation paired her with the man named Jonathan Kendrick for Saturday morning field service. Instead of going door to door to preach the word of God, he would take Conti to his house and molester, and that he did that for two years. Years later, after Conti had left the witnesses, she discovered Kendrick's name on a federal sex offender registry.

When she went back to the elders in her former congregation to tell them about the abuse, she was rebuffed by the damn two witness rule again. The elders told Conti that without a second witness to the molestation, there's nothing they can do. Conti asked the elders to consider a plan. She had devised for tracking child molesters within the organization so this wouldn't happen going forward and they refused. These godly men refused to help track down child molesters.

All part of church policy fucked your hoavis witnesses. Candace Seud Watchtower, her former congregation and Kendrick, Hale Candace Conti. I can't speak for Jesus, Michael or Jerry Christ, but Nimrod Bojangles, Luciferina and Triple L, love the shit out of you. During despozitions, the elders admitted that they had long known Kendrick had a history of child molestation. They knew before they paired him with Conti for door to door ministry. They paired her with a known pedophile, put the two of them together alone. What the fuck? Those elders again should be in prison. Ideally, they should be in prison, getting repeatedly raved by their cellmates. And then they tell the guards what's happened to them,

they asked for help, but then when the warden, you know, here's about it, he tells them that, well, unless anyone else saw you being violently sotomized, not that we can do, we need another witness, which is going to be tough because you share a cell with just your attacker and the guards are not going to fucking pay attention to what goes on there. 2012, a jury awards Conti $28 million believed to be the largest jury verdict ever for a single victim in a child abuse case against a religious organization, but then on appeal, it gets reduced to less than 3 million. So better than nothing, I guess. On the year since, Watchtower has faced dozens of similar lawsuits from victims who say

the organization's policies enabled protected their abusers. Statistically, it appears as if thousands and thousands and thousands of other cases have just not been brought forward yet. One such lawsuit brought attention to the database. Jose Lopez was seven years old when he was molested by Gonzalo Compos. Yeah, Gonzalo Compos, a fellow witness from or whom the local elders had recommended as a mentor. Despite knowing that Compos was a known pedophile, had a history of molesting young boys. Fucking hate this organization so much. Literally nothing likeable about them. I can think of it this moment. When campos assaults low-pays in the koei california uh... in nineteen six in

his home the boy tells his mom who immediately reports campos to the elders they say they'll handle the situation and and of and for her to not call the police and then they don't handle the situation it's allowed me to get away with it uh... not only get away with it he thrives in their organization he rises in the organization becomes an elder in two thousand ten he flees to Mexico for more accusations. Eventually he confesses in a disposition to molestie Lopez and several

other young boys. Lopez files a lawsuit against watchtower in 2012. When his lawyer requested that watchtower turnover all documents related to Campos and other known molesters, the organization refuses. Santa doesn't have the resources to locate this information, which is bullshit. A senior official for Watchtower, who's conscience finally got the best of him later testified that all the information was able to be located easily, because it had been scanned, stored, in a Microsoft SharePoint database. Still, Watchtower refuses to hand this database over. I hope somebody fucking burns down their headquarters someday.

The judge grew frustrated. Eventually borrowed the organization from Mounting a Defense, hailed that judge, and the hand-low pez a $13.5 million dollar award. Unfortunately, like with Conti, Watchtower lawyers appeal, and an appellate court overturns the ruling. They in the judge should have sanctioned Watchtower incrementally, and the case was settled for an undisclosed sum in January 2018, fucking dirty, lawyery. And almost every one of these cases,

pressure to conform and stay silent, demanded not only by church officials, but by parents, grandparents, friends, and colleagues, all of whom were so convinced of the righteous path that they believe the act of cutting off their loved ones was a merciful gesture designed to guarantee their eventual salvation. What a way to rationalize sexual abuse.

Everyone involved in these cover-ups should be so fucking ashamed of themselves and embarrassed to think that some all-knowing and supposedly loving and forgiving God would want them to ever behave that way. Back to Mark and his leaked documents now. January 9, 2018, the documents go live on faith leaks. His motto publishes a story. Other American outlets pick it up as do media in the UK, Finland, Spain, Lebanon, Hungary,

Chile, Bolivia, other countries. Mark plans to send the documents, describing serious crimes to relevant local authorities. He receives messages from people saying that they had more documents to share with them. Six months after the leaks go public, Mark receives a call from his mom. He hadn't spoken with him in more than a year. His father was diagnosed with a soft-eggial cancer. Treatment not going well as parents are still in the the kingdom. He and Kimmy immediately become involved in his parents

lives doing their grocery shopping, driving his dad to radiation treatments, managing his care. For the first time in his adult life, Mark grows close to his parents. Kimmy becomes a daughter to them. In January 2019, Mark's father dies at the funeral mark, finds himself once again, sitting in a Baltimore kingdom hall. Though he and Kimmy had to their great surprise, still not been disfellowshipped, they did not know what to expect, but it would become vocal watchtower critics online no longer bothered to hide their identities. Still, there's an unwritten rule among witnesses that funerals are a no shun zone. So that's good, maybe the most likable detail I've come across about them. They were mostly greeted warmly. Glad to see some old friends, the elder given the Eulogy spoke of Gerry O'Donnell's ever-present smile and

during habit of obsessive record-keeping, Mark even able to extend a little bit of forgiveness towards his parents, realizing the pressure he'd face from the witness community was also put on his parents. He told a journalist, you have to remember, they were talked into this too. The story of these abused ex-members seeking retribution continues. It'll probably keep continuing for quite some time. In February 2020, the BBC reported that at least 20 former Jehovah's Witnesses currently suing the group over historical sexual abuse.

I hope these cases win landslide settlements. I hope those settlements emboldened more and more victims to come forward. I hope it all snowballs into a massive avalanche of litigation and ideally criminal prosecutions of sexual offenses. And I hope it brings down this insane doomsday obsessed child molesting kingdom down. Ah, I don't want a second coming. Maybe God can just come down and smite the leadership of the witnesses.

Just send down Jerry to fuck him up. The hove is witnesses. What a strange religion. No, strange is not a strong enough word. What a terrible religion. That's garbage. To give up so much of your time to knock on people's doors, feel bad about damn near everything.

Help cover up abusers. Study a bunch of nonsensical watchtowers, society doctrine, and for what? So you can have a tiny chance of going to heaven and for some supposed rapture. If you're listed and you're in this group, do yourself a huge favor and get the fuck out. Dare to doubt.org. Dare to doubt.org is one of the many nonprofits dedicated to helping members get out and stay out and figure out how to succeed in life once this terrible organization has shunned you. Contact them secretly. Let former members who have gotten out help you navigate your escape. Let them help you feel safe getting out. They've been where you are now.

Don't waste more your life in this madness. The Jehovah's Witnesses are a fucking cult and a hateful dangerous one. I like them less than Scientology now and I really don't like Scientology. If the Jehovah's Witnesses had it their way, they would live in a completely separate society. They'd operate outside of any secular nation,

have their own theocratic, you know, just monstrous nation, some, some gilliae from the Handmaid's Tale. How many kids we could abuse and molested in that nation? How many wives would be beaten? Scary to think about. And all unpunished, right? As always, there's so much more we could get into. The witnesses certainly are a fascinating, troubling group, but I think I dug into them

enough today. So much more destructive than I ever imagined. I thought the worst thing they did was a no-only knock on people's doors. Turns out that's one of the least, unlikable things they've done and continued to do. Let's head now to today's top five takeaways. Time, suck, top five takeaways.

Number one, Jehovah's Witnesses are a large group of people. Over 8 million worldwide Top five takeaways. Number one, Jehovah's Witnesses are a large group of people. Over 8 million worldwide as the Watchtowers that's a stature to be believed, believe primarily in the imminent Armageddon. And with 144,000 special people will be taken to heaven, and the rest of the believers will get to live the rest of their mortal lives and a paradise on earth before they die and become dusts and exist spiritually no more. Watchtowers made so many predictions regarding when Armageddon will happen, 1878, 1914,

1938, 1975, 2000, others on and on and on and it still hasn't happened. But so many people have sold homes, businesses, cashed in insurance policies and more because they were told over and over that it was all coming to an end. Number two, the Jehovah's Witnesses have many strange beliefs to them that haven't exactly endeared them to a lot of people, or they're refusal to serve in the military or take or donate blood. Number three, the watch tower may be sitting on the largest database of reported instances of sexual abuse of all time.

Not all of the records have been made public. They've strongly fought anyone that tries to make them public, but a few whistleblowers, including ex-witness Marco Donald, have done their best to make some of the documents public. While other victims of sexual abuse have come forward with their stories and continue to seek justice, not in front of a heartless group of deluded elders, but in an actual court that will punish predators. Number four, Jehovah's Witnesses are a fucking cult. They demand hours upon hours of service control the lives of their members constantly beat that Doomsday drum and if they had it their way, would have their own separate society where they didn't have to follow anything other than their own horrific twisted misguided

notions of justice. Number five, new info. Did you know that Prince was Jehovah's Witness? Yep. The famously sexually charged purple rain singer became a Jehovah's Witness. And he was for a long time, actually. Princess fans immediately confused when news of Princess conversion broke in 2001. How do you reconcile your hidden, you know, a hedonic icon in a rubber thong with a faith

that doesn't just frown upon gay marriage, but also prohibits oral and anal sex. The answer might go back to his childhood. He was raised in a chaotic home, but his parents were members of the Seventh Day Adventists. Another socially conservative end times focused group as we learn, Jehovah's Witnesses morphed out of Adventism. It apparently seemed to print that the Jehovah's Witness faith helped explain

the growing social injustice he felt he saw all around him. When Mark Brown interviewed prints in 2004 for the Rocky Mountain news, prints told Brown he was interested in spirituality and answers, not strange ceremonies or theories. I'm very practical," said Prince. You go trekky on me. I got to go.

Okay? When he left, Prince gave Mark a Jehovah's Witness pamphlet, told him to call him day or night. It was a little uncomfortable for me, but it was very important to him, says Brown. It got pretty intense. Prince was introduced to the faith by Larry Graham, basis for sly and the family stone.

Another group known for sexual music. What the fuck? Prince even went door to door. A little bit in Los Angeles Minneapolis, handed out pamphlets on salvation. What a surreal experience. They have the guy who wrote the lyrics to Lil Nikki, show up in your door and try and convert you

to the Jehovah's Witnesses. That song opens with, I knew a girl named Nikki. I guess you could say she was a sex fiend. I met her in a hotel lobby masturbating with the magazine. Clearly no one told Prince that even coming on a pillow and you're sleep is sinful. Oh my heck, Prince, what the frick.

Guessing the Prince donated enough and brought enough watchtower exposure that maybe they bent the rules a little bit for him. He was a Jehovah's Witness from 2001 until his death in 2016 known as brother Nelson to the fellow witnesses at a kingdom hall in the Minneapolis suburb of St. Louis Park, where apparently he studied the Bible within weekly four years. And not the only celebrity to be a witness.

Michael Jackson was a witness for a few years in the mid 80s. That one kind of makes sense actually. I mean, come on. He probably joined because of the two in his rule. Venus and Serena Williams raised his witnesses and still are, I believe, the tennis stars. At least as recently as 2018, what the fuck? Stand up for all those victims.

Use your high profiles to demand some accountability. I don't know. Because their religion is terrible, I guess it doesn't mean they're terrible. What did I say earlier? I can hate the belief but love the believer. Better hold onto that one, I guess. It's not like their elders are members of the governing body.

I don't know. Let's get out of here, you dirty pillow humbers. Time, suck. Top five takeaways. The home of his witnesses have been sucked. I hope you were fascinated, even half as much as I was, his witnesses have been sucked. I hope you were fascinated even half as much as I was and it would have been entertaining. Thank you to the Bad Magic Productions team for all the help and making time so every week.

Queen of Bad Magic Lindsey comments doing so much. Reverend Dr. Jill Paisley, the script keeper, Zach Flannery, doing all the initial digging on this week's research. Oh, I'm sorry, actually, nope. Ha ha. Sophie, Sophie, Fact Sources Evans. Oh, I'm sorry, actually nope. Ha ha, Sophie, Sophie, Factor Sourcer's Evans. Just, anyway, thank you, Sophie, thank you Zach for doing so many other things. Thanks to Biddelix, for continuously refining the time stock app.

Logan, the art warlock Keith, our creative director running bad magic, merch.com and more. Thanks to Lizzie and Chantras Hernandez, who runs our Cult of the Curious Facebook private page, currently Cult of the Curious too, with her all-seen eyes moderators and helping Logan with socials. Thanks for helping curate an awesome online community everyone.

Thanks to beef steak and the mod squad running discord. You can link to the discord groups at the time stock up next week. We return again to true crime with the freeway killer Bill Bonan after being arrested in June of 1980 Bonan confessed to abducting raping killing 21 boys and young men. Express no remorse, only embarrassment and regret over having been caught. He openly admitted he wanted to keep killing. Told a reporter who asked him what he would be doing if he were still at large, I'd still be killing. I couldn't stop killing. He got easier with each one we did. And yes, he said, we, he had not won but four accomplices that helped him with most of his

murders. His murder spree was short, roughly a year, but highly active in that year. Suspected of killing at least 36 people. Looked like the stereotype of a creepy serial killer. Creepy wide deal with the mustache, prowling around in an old Ford economy van, pulling over, grabbing teens off the side of the road, horrifically torturing them. The freeway killer. Next week it gets real fucking dark.

But now, let's keep it relatively light and suck on over to this week's Time Sucker updates. Let's start with some laughs. And then we'll end on Savannah's Jehovah's Witness message. Right now humiliated sucker, Chrissy Peepants is wishing hellfire upon me. I get it, he writes, you should set yourself on fucking fire. It'd be better for everyone.

Hello, my former favorite podcast host. Here's a story. I was walking through my local grocery store and listening to your dumb podcast on my earphones, specifically the Robin Williams suck. I was at the back of the store when you started talking about goodwill hunting, all of a sudden you start yelling like an asshole about anyone who doesn't go on to one of the best schools is stupid. I start to laugh a bit, then you start screaming about babies and diapers. And by the time you got to, you should set yourself on fucking fire, I started fucking pissing my pants, you bitch.

I don't know if you know the layout of grocery stores, fucker, but the bathrooms are in front. So now I'm running with piss dripping down my leg and onto the floor, leaving a mother fucking trail. Are you listening? A piss trail. While I'm running in scream laughing like a fucking lunatic from the milk all the way to the goddamn registers, I shop here weekly asshole. Any

who absolutely love time suck, but also go fuck yourself. Chris. Chris, thank you for sharing your humiliation with us all bad for you. Lots of smiles and laughs for us. I think you're going to have to find a new grocery store probably forever, but at least for a few months. I hope this and last week's episodes were enjoyed, piss free. And now some inspiration, super committed to recovery sucker, CJ Domler, his turn in his ship around. I love it. CJ writes, I'm not one for grand introduction. So here goes a holy master of time suck.

I'm an avid listener to everything, bad magic, but a fan of your comedy for years, though I must say time suck is absolutely my favorite. I also was a side note. I love when you've mentioned, I and Rand, my favorite author and guns, germs and steel. Cool. But on to the point, I want to let you know that through all of the episodes in every show, I finally push myself to do something I never could do before. I self admitted to an alcohol recovery center for inpatient therapy to deal with my alcoholism as a 23 year old and finally, hopefully, find a way to deal with depression

and anxiety. I was drowning myself in a fifth of liquor on an almost nightly basis and I hit a breaking point. You talking about getting help when we needed and Lindsay advocating for so heavily for finding help pushed me to do what I needed to do. I was just released from a detox center and going to be staying in rehab for a while and trying to stay caught up with bad magic shows. And I'm going to be. I have a long journey ahead of me, a lot of pain in strife,

but I feel lucky knowing I'll have bad magic products as a brief respite from it all. I just want you to all know how much laughter and joy and knowledge your shows have brought me over the last year. Love the show, always listen whenever I can. You're soon to be hopefully sober, time-sucker, CJ. CJ, awesome work, man.

Love that you're taking charge of your life. Obviously, I've advocated for legalizing drug use, but that doesn't mean I think drugs, including alcohol, are for everyone. Science shows they are not. And if they're not for you, yes, stay the fuck away from them and enjoy so much of the rest of what the wonderful world has to offer.

I wish you nothing but the best. CJ stay clean, make some noise, rumble, young man rumble. And now for an anonymous message, a concerned sucker writes, hey, Dan, I need some help here and I really don't know what to do. My brother-in-law is deep into conspiracy theories. You name it, he's into it. He mainly talks about flat earth and vaccines, conspiracies, but like I said, talks about a lot more. The guy is in his early 20s, I want to help pull him out of it as gently as I can his family is currently living with us due to circumstances. I'd like to say anonymous if you decide to put this on the suck for the sake of this

not getting back to him somehow. I just want to help bring him out of these crazy ideas and back to logic and reason. Anything you can give me will most likely help and help others bring their family and friends out of this madness. Hail them Rod. Thanks for everything you do sir. Wish you well three of five stars wouldn't change a thing anonymous. Well anonymous suckers started here about your brother-in-law.

Sounds like he's drank the conspiracy coolate that far too many people are drinking today. I will share some advice I found on a BBC article. And I think this is really good. The first, stay calm. Don't go off about them, you know, like I do here on the podcast to their face. It's just going to push them away. No one likes to be called stupid. It's just going to make them double down on their beliefs. Conspiracy belief is based not in logic, but in emotion, you know, in feelings of resentment, anger,

indignation of how the world is working, you know, not to their liking. Two, don't be dismissive. Hear them out. You know, hear them out. Approaches beliefs with empathy, not with ridicule. Again, do not do what I do here. Three, encourage critical thinking, asking why he doesn't apply the skepticism he employs against experts with the people he does believe. Why trust who he trusts? Ask a lot of questions. Get him to apply his own conspiratorial logic towards the people he believes. Yeah, and four is just questions. Questions are better than assertions. Come from a place of trying to understand him, not just tell him what's right and what's wrong.

And lastly, and this is a big one is patience. If you can pull him out big if unfortunately, it's going to take time and all likelihood. Trade information with him. Agree to look into his sources of hill, look into yours and discuss it and do that over and over and over. And then hopefully, you know, if he ever gets ready, maybe talk him in to listen to one of my sarcastic ass conspiracy episodes.

When he's ready, good luck. I hope it helps. And last update, this is Savannah. The person that put this group of Jehovah's Witnesses on our radar, this loving, fantastic, and concerned, meat sack rights. I've been a long time listening to TimeSuck and I greatly appreciate the time and research

spent on your podcast. I'm hoping that maybe you can help or at least take a glance at a subject that has destroyed mine and many of those that I love. Something that destroys families allows rape and child abuse, encourages shunning and promotes domestic abuse. I'm talking about Jehovah's Witnesses. This religion or cult, depending on view, digs its fingers into every aspect of life. From what you do with your body, i.e. giving blood, receiving blood, or life-saving

measures, tattoos, piercings, what you can and can't wear, who you can and can't talk to. This cult makes it known that there are only two sides with or against no questions. I was raised at Jehovah's Witness, my parents still are. I was a child of sexual abuse by a family within the Jehovah Witness community, as well as many I know, and it is something hushed and never spoken of. But if you do speak of it, you're a liar and ostracized. The witnesses have a very simple rule stemming from canonical beliefs. Two witnesses must witness an action, or the action never truly transpired. If a child or wife try to reach for help, they are threatened to not go to the police.

They get asked if two people were witness to the event in question, if two witnesses were not present, it never happened. They still insist, they still, or, oh, sorry, they then instill doubt amongst family and friends until you confess that it never happened or choose to leave the congregation and leave everything and everyone you've known.

This cycle repeats over and over, forcing many into suicide, a fearing expulsion from the church. You are left with only one real option and that is to remain silent. Videos are produced by the ruling cast promoting shunning as a gift of love to bring back former members or ex-communicated members to the fold. This gift of love has taken many lives and will continue until attention is brought to this organization lawsuits have been filed and one in other countries over these actions, but mostly in America

Most in America are completely oblivious to this happening. I've released your recent podcast about the LDS church and hearing the depth in which you research every aspect of the church I was prompted to write and request an episode regarding the Jehovah's Witnesses I truly believe that you are one of the only ones who can do this topic justice and expose them and their corrupt teachings. Thank you for your time, Savannah. Well, Savannah, first off, I fucking love your name. Savannah is one of my favorite names.

Makes me think like a Southern debut talent or something, fancy in a good way. Second, I hope I did this episode of the justice that you and other victims deserve, you know, I hope you were able to someday get your family out of the sad and yes, very destructive cult. I hope the lawsuits you speak of, and I said earlier, bring them down someday. Hail you for being strong enough to get out. What a major accomplishment.

I hope you're kicking so much fucking ass. I hope you're wearing the tightest of tight pants. Hail Lucifina, Hail Nimrod, and Hail You Savannah. Let's get out of here. Thanks, time suckers. I need a net. We all did. Thanks again for listening to this bad magic

production podcast, Meat Sacks. Thanks for five fantastic years. Please do not shun any family or friends this week because some deluded dumb fuck elders think that's what an angry god wants you to do. Just put on some tight ass pants and keep on sucking. What a good looking to write this crowd we have here in heaven's joke joint. Got some great jokes for you. Nice clean, not offensive stuff. What was Moses' wife Zifura known as when she threw dinner parties?

The hostess with the Moses! What do you call a biblical character who is just pulled into church? A parking lot? One more. What in pirates call Noah's boat the Archmity? Oh, oh, oh! Try the Veele, Jerry Christ says it's divine. The real Jerry Christ says it's divine.