Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 275 - Appalachian Cryptids

Episode Date: December 20, 2021

The Flatwoods Monster. The Whirling Whimpus. Devil Dogs and Sheepsquatch. The Virginia Moonshine Man-Possum, GreenBrier Skink-Skank,  the Tiddle-Whisper Dragon of Johnson City, the Rocky Branch Giant Rape-Beetle, the Snallygaster. Which one of these are cryptids thought to exist by people in Appalachia? Which are creatures I made up for this episode? How do you say Appalachia? What does it mean to be Appalachian? Why does the hillbilly stereotype come from Appalachia? Why is the banjo associated with Appalachia? Today we look into a lot of cryptids and also learn a great deal about the land that stretches from Canada all the down to Georgia. Enjoy!Thanks again for allowing the 2021 Bad Magic Giving Tree to be such a success! We raised $49,000 through a combination of Patreon, fan, and personal donation. And now 198 children are going to receive the presents they would have otherwise never received. Nimrod is very fucking pleased. :)Watch the Suck on YouTube:  https://youtu.be/mUCG6d60EKAMerch - https://badmagicmerch.com/  Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89vWant to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever happens to be our most current page :)For all merch related questions/problems: [e-mail] (copy and paste)Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcastWanna become a Space Lizard? We're over 10,000 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcastSign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits

Have you heard about the Flatwoods monster? What about the whirling wimpus? You know what the hell a devil dog is? How about a sheep's quatch? You're ready to meet all these strange critters and more today. These might sound like elaborate fantasy creations to some giant dungeons and dragons forgotten realms campaign

or creatures from the Lord of the Rings, maybe the Game of Thrones universe. Nope, they're from our world, kind of, maybe. They're cryptids. They're animals such as Sasquatch, the Loch Ness Monster, that have been claimed to exist, but never conclusively proven to exist. Despite a lack of hard scientific evidence,

many believe that the creatures I just named are all too real. Some people believe they've had actual encounters with them, and with Pennsylvania's white bigfoot, the so-called Tennessee Wild Man, and many others. So I'm also believe in non-creature mysteries like the mysterious lights over Brown Mountain and North Carolina saying there's no possible way. They can be scientifically explained.

I talked about these lights in the sister's show to Time Sucks, scared to death. Technically these lights are not thought to be cryptids, they're not creatures, but could those lights be attributed to cryptids? Perhaps? Maybe they're cryptid adjacent. So we'll include them today as well. What do all these strange creatures in phenomena have in common?

All supposed encounters with them and folklore about them has come from Appalachia. And yes, that is how I'm going to pronounce it today for the most part. I know on last week's preview for this episode, I said I prefer Appalachian, and I still do prefer that pronunciation, actually, but since I'm from the North and not from Appalachia, it feels after completing this week's research more appropriate for me to say Appalachia. I'll thoroughly break down my reasoning today,

regarding the history of this word whose correct pronunciation has been highly debated by many for a long time. Then after all that, I'll possibly end up pronouncing both ways throughout the episode. The mysterious allure of the Appalachian cryptids has existed for centuries, for the Europeans who settled the land and existed for longer, perhaps much longer, for the indigenous people who lived in the lands of Appalachia for thousands of years prior to the arrival of foreign callists. And these people believe that Appalachia, a region on the eastern side of the U.S. that stretches from New York to Georgia, is positively teaming with cryptids.

We've actually visited an infamous appellation cryptid before Mothman, arguably the king of appellation cryptids, but there are so many more weird and wild creatures allegedly roaming the hills, mountains of appellation. There are so many that there's even been a popular long-running TV show called Mountain Monsters, now on the travel channel that that investigates quote unquote, these Appalachian cryptids on the show John Trapper-Tice, Jeff Headley, Willie McQuillin, Constructed Labratt Traps to try and catch these creatures, and allegedly they have caught some, if you believe, that a bunch of CGI effects and prop and costume designs constitute catching encrypted, which I do

not. Sorry for the shade mountain monster people, but come on, 69 episodes and counting and still no truly undeniable evidence. Can't catch one long enough to bring to the lab for proper examination. Still no cryptid, a library dead for a team of scientists to examine as opposed to a team of travel channel actors

wearing lab coats and holding clipboards and calling themselves scientists, look harder, Mountain monster team. In during popularity of a program, like this showcase suggests how many people believe that cryptids might actually live in the woods, Appalachia, a land that outside of possible monsters is for sure an interesting cultural melting pot of Scotch, Irish, German, Scandinavian, tribal and African-American influences, but mostly Scotch, Irish. Talk about that. Appalachia, home to a lot of different folks, but mostly Scotch Irish. Talk about that.

Appalachia home to a lot of different folks. A lot of interesting folklore. A lot of good stories. And we love interesting stories here. So let's explore some Appalachian imaginations or real encounters, depending on how you see it. This week on a chocolate full of cryptids, bluegrass, jamboree, real or merely legend, wackadoodle or witness edition of Time Suck.

This is Michael McDonald and you're listening to Time Suck. You want mistakes? To talk something. Happy Monday in Happy Holidays. Meet Sacks. Happy Holidays. Meet sex happy holidays. Happy Hanukkah Merry Christmas, Merry Xmas, Merry Happy Joy Joy. You know, to whatever happened to be celebrating. Hope you enjoy your pine trees, send candles, Jesus birthday cake, Santa cookies, leather

chaps, straight vodka, however you're celebrating whatever you're celebrating. Uh, thanks for including the Colbs and Curious in your holiday plans. Hail them, Rod. Hope everyone's sacrificed enough, Cockerspanials to keep you, uh, you know, from smiting them on Christmas, mourn or something. Hail Lucidina. I picture you in a sexy Santa outfit, complete with garters and a lot of red, you know, see through stuff. Uh, praise both jangles and glory be to triple M Michael, mother, fucking McDonald, of

course has a holiday album called in the spirit because he is god's one true angel uh... doesn't feel your heart with joy well congratulations your fucking dead okay it's blusier then you know most would expect that's what an artist you know they put their own stamp on it

We'll be playing this forever be gotta hear this next part Mm-hmm and now he goes oh What's he saying only he knows What's he saying? Only he knows. All the friends are with me. Yeah. Love us with that damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn damn those are chose. So it's obviously the right call. Couple quick announcements and then we'll get to this weird show. Hearts go out to those affected by recent tornadoes. Kentucky and elsewhere in the Midwest Mother Nature. Catching me real bitch sometimes. Terrible to happen anytime. Obviously, feels extra terrible with the timing now. Some good news. Charity for the third straight December, the bad magic giving tree has brought many joy. Brow to say that together we ended up raising $49,000 thanks to $16,000 from the bad magic

Patreon supporters. Another $15,000 from Lindsey and I savings account. And my favorite number, another $18,000 at the end of the day coming in from bad magicians savings accounts. So we really do have a such a lovely community of fine, saxomate, 198 kids. Now I'm going to have an epic holiday thanks to this community. So thank you, thank you, thank you. Quick note about the 2022 Symphony of insanity stand up tour. The February date I had in Austin, Texas is being moved to the fall because I fucking hate Austin.

I've been wanting to say it for years. I don't like anybody there. I've always hated that city. No, this is not my fault. The club will not be opening in time. I was very excited to go, but 2022 going into now, COVID supply chain problems. I guess the problems are now, so the 2021 problems.

Yeah, they're having delays and getting specialty restaurant equipment, special freezers, and I don't know, back in burners, I don't know all the terms, but I know that that's just not coming in on time. So new replacement data that weekend, funny bone enrichment Virginia replacing Austin, February, fourth and fifth, and I'll get the new Austin date

we're locking in for the fall. Other dates still on San Diego, technically La Jolla at the comedy store, Hollywood comedy store, Orlando Improv, Bricktown and Oklahoma City, punchline and Atlanta, Comedy Zone and Charlotte, The Tempe improv, The Wilma and Missoula and more at Dancoma.tv, Wise Guys in Salt Lake City.

A lot of different dates. You can also follow me on Instagram and Facebook for show announcements. And now let's fucking get into it. Now for our Spaceless Earth voted in topic, actually many, many topics because it's just how many cryptids there are allegedly roaming the mountains of Appalachia.

Let's put some yip in the yaw, Hawk Folk Dog Folk, please set your differences aside, focus today. It's all explore the mysteries of Appalachia together. The Virginia moon shine man possum, the green briar skinks skank, the tidal whisper dragon of Johnson City, the Rocky Branch giant rape beetle. These are not the cryptids we're going to be talking about today because I made those ones up. Thank God the Rocky Branch giant rape beetle is not a thing anyone has to worry about.

What a terrible cryptid. Super horny one. Maybe tries to bugger you at on some trail. I picture running into some backwards hillbilly at the trail head warning you not to proceed. No, no, no, no, no. You fucked up, won't be walking up this trail. Not this time of season. Oh, no, no.

Rock a brand, rock a brand's being the rut. Uh, I'm sorry, what, what are you, uh, what are you talking about? Rockabrand down right, Bay of clean air, son. You ain't seen pain. You ain't seen fear. You had a rockabrand, you told you die and bugging in the dirt. I ain't no clansstone, old-key rockabrand, I had your trash pop.

Then you hear some loud insect noises in the distance. Fucking wild-eyed dude, just starts running off. Get down in your motor carriage, lock your side windows! Rocket Branch going, pull your trash pop! Chill first! Beetleman, a billion times or fire! Even though I just imagine that whole fake scene, I'm kinda scared of that fucking guy.

I might be more scared of that guy. The name of the, you know, Rocket Branch giant rape beetle. How big is that thing, by the way? How big is it's fearsome appendage? Why does it seem to go for loopholes? Those questions will probably never be answered. But I hope Dan's brothers today. First, I'll be talking about what Appalachia is,

starting with the controversy, of course, over how to actually pronounce Appalachia. We'll also look at its history, its geography, music, and unique mix of cultures that have come together to create what we now know as Appalachia and we'll dig into some of the stereotypes surrounding Appalachia. Look at why it's overwhelmingly portrayed in the media as a backward superstitious place full of hillbillies. I mean, I just added that stereotype with my crazy hillbilly beetle Warner. Why do I assume that that kind of guy would live somewhere out in Appalachia? Well, look into that. Next, we'll get into the many, many cryptids in a big old time suck timeline, cryptids of

Appalachia. Then after the timeline, we'll examine a few more cryptids, just a pair of them who's sightings we don't only have dates for. Long the way we also might, might run into rogue archaeologist, former University of Montana student, GoGrid, unofficial, official, self-proclaimed time suck rogue archaeologist, former University of Montana student, GoGrid, unofficial, official, self-proclaimed time-stuck resident cryptologist, David Hatcher, children, the star of history channels, ancient aliens, may not have time to stop by, though, he's undoubtedly hard to work on his 25th book, Not Kidding.

He released his 24th book, Honoboo, The Secret Files, the greatest UFO secret of all time, earlier this year, so that's epic. Other awesome titles include Yeti, Sasquatch, and Harry Giants, Lost Cities of Ancient Lemuria, and the Pacific. I like how he added the Pacific to that one. Like he's like, nah, Lost Cities of Ancient Lemuria doesn't feel like there's enough fodder there

for a proper book. What if I had the Pacific? The enigma of cranial deformation, elongated skulls of the ancients, David's a busy guy, before all that, we'll quickly revisit Appalachia's most famous cryptid. The one we actually have already done a full suck on already, Mothman. Let's get, let's get warmed up with Mothman. First recorded Mothman's side and took place November 12th 1966 near clen dynnen west Virginia

And now sleepy little town of just over a thousand. They used to be a slightly less sleepy little town the oil town About the same number of people 76 mile drive southeast to point pleasant Where most of the Mothman lore after the first siding would concentrate point pleasant a bustling village of over 4,000 used to bustle with over 6,000. Very cute little downtown. That includes a cool ass moth man statue and a moth man museum. And how did all the moth man lore begin?

Back on November 12, 1966, a Saturday, five men, Kenneth Duncan, Bob Lovejoy, Bill Poole, Andrew Godby, and a meal Gibson. We're digging a grave for Ken's father-in-law, Homer Smith, and a meal Gibson were digging a grave for Ken's father-in-law Homer Smith and a cemetery near Clem Dinnon. And Kenneth claimed to see a man-like figure fly out from some nearby trees and glide low over their heads. And he wasn't even high on bath salts or anything.

He didn't even have an important blood vessel popping his head. Ken's starting to be referenced in the November 18th, 1966 edition of the Gallup Police Daily Tribune. though it would mention that the four other men helping to dig the grave didn't see it. What you know is suspicious a bit three days later though, November 15th, 1966, multiple people would see it. There was another Mothman's side in point pleasant, really set off the Mothman craze. Four young supposedly mentally stable locals all around the age of 20 Roger and Linda Scarberry.

Steve and Mary Mallet are driving a near point pleasant around midnight and Rogers black 57 Chevy Belier. Fuck yeah. Claim to have been followed by this creature. Linda noticed two large glowing red eyes in the darkness behind the old North power plant along highway 62. Roger stopped the car in the road for locals observed a bipedal monster about seven feet tall with wings folded against its back in the woods. They sped off in the creature followed, terrified. They reported the whole thing to local law enforcement.

Then the local paper caught wind of the side and the next day a story was printed about the monster in the point pleasant register. How did all these little towns of papers and the legend was often running. Then many other sightings of West Virginia, and even somewhere around the world, would follow. You can hear more about these sightings in episode 124 if you want to double down on your appellation cryptid intake today. So what is Mothman, the most popular theory outside of paranormal explanations, is that Mothman is a Sandhill Crane, or some other sort of strange bird, perhaps an owl. An owl greatly exaggerated the minds of people thinking that they saw Mothman is a Sandhill Crane, or some other sort of strange bird, perhaps an owl. An owl greatly exaggerated the minds of people thinking that they saw Mothman.

That's true. You see an owl, and you think you've seen a fucking giant seven-foot-tall monster out in the woods? Well, your eyes are worse in mind. I can't see for shitting the dark. Second explanation is that Mothman is an alien of some kind, or maybe a monster from Native American folklore called the Thunderbird. It could also

be a strange mutant, maybe an angel, maybe some kind of unidentified fly machine, whatever it is, owl, crane, alien, mutant, angel, transformer, Polish supermodel, the lore around Mothman took off like it did around no other cryptid in Appalachia. Point Pleasant held his first annual Mothman Festival in 2002 and pre-COVID according to event organizer, Jeff Wamsley. The average attendance for the Mothman Festival was 10, 12,000 people a year. A lot more folks showing up for Mothman Festival

than for the Rocky Branch Giant Rape Beetle Festival, zero attendees ever in its history. So that's Mothman. A cryptid many have now claimed to have spotted but also famous cryptid known has yet been able to take even one good photo of. Mossman, burnin' out of fuelin' words alone. And I think it's gonna be a long, long time.

For Mossman takes the photo we can find. He's not a bud and he's not an hour. Oh, no, no, no, he's a mouse man. If you're like, that's a good melody. That's because it's Elton John's rockin' man. What about other lesser known Appalachian cryptids, the indie band equivalent, only true hipsters know about them, cryptids. The fucking deep cut, the B side cryptids, like the snally gaster, dragon-like creature, who's reported in the Maryland area

at the height of the prohibition in the late 20s, early 30s. Also, earlier, in a different form, the sheep squash. I love that name. We'll meet them soon after you get a better feel for Appalachia. Seems to be a lot of confusion surrounding Appalachia. Hard for folks to come to an agreement on what Appalachia. It seems to be a lot of confusion surrounding Appalachia. Hard for folks to come to an agreement

on what Appalachia even is, like what are its geographical boundaries? Who are its people? How the fuck do you pronounce Appalachia? Let's address that hot button issue. It actually does get a lot of people unusually fired up. I've read the emails. And a short essay published 30 years ago

in Appalachian Heritage Magazine,, an Appalachian Heritage magazine, now the Appalachian Review. I had a circulation of seven people. One random Eastern Kentucky and wrote, what I finally came to understand is that Appalachia does not exist, at least doesn't exist in the real world. The Appalachians exist. Appalachia exists, but Appalachia is fiction. It is an idea created by politicians and reporters.

Interesting. This person has been listening to this episode. They probably had a brain aneurysm by now. Let's dig into some linguistic history. Find out the right. In addition to there being a debate over the pronunciation, there's speculation over the true origin of the word, speculation originates with some people who used to live in the area of northern Florida. Now, not even considered a part of Appalachia. Back in the 1500s, the Appalachia tribe, a Muscogee in people, indigenous to the Panhandle of Florida, I.e. Northwest Florida.

The Muscogee in people were those tribe members who spoke related languages in the southeastern U.S., including Chickasaw, Chokta, Creek, Seminole, and Appalachia, amongst others. Only about 300 people in the world now claim Appalachia identity. Almost all of them live in Louisiana now after various relocations. Disease maskers, a lot of early fighting with the Spanish, so many raids decimated the Appalachia. Then later, a lot of tribe members being captured and taken in slaves by English settlers

further reduced the population. Then later, a lot of tribe members being captured and taken in slaves by English settlers further reduce the population. By around 1700 less than two centuries, after encountering the Spanish, less than a thousand remained. How many were there originally? No one knows for sure, but likely tens of thousands. Spanish con Quísteador, Panfilio de Navales. That's probably the best I'll ever say that.

Was one of the first Europeans to encounter these peoples. In bark from Spain in 1527 with five ships and 600 men on a mission to colonize Florida for Holy Roman Emperor and King of Spain, Charles V. And in 1528, his expedition shortly before most of its members died in the combination of fighting and shipwrecks, including Nareias, they reached a chiefdom called Tokobaga. At the northern end of Tampa Bay. Tokobaga was the name of the chiefdom, named the village, named the Spaniards gave to the people living there.

They were just like, fuck it. Everyone here is Tokobaga. And these people told Nareias that there was a nation called Appalachian up north, home of the Appalachian people. That's where this term comes from. But the exact word the Appalachian used, the name of the region, that's up for a little bit of debate. Appalachian perhaps derived from the Appalachian word, Appalachian meaning others, other

side of the river or from the Hitchathe word, Appalachian meaning dwelling on one side. Hitchathe another Muscogee in language spoke by the Hitchathe tribe a little further north and present day Georgia. After barely reaching the Appalachian, the Narvaia's expedition encountered heavier than expected fighting, fled to the coast and counter bad storms, almost all them drowned off the coast of present day Texas. It's only a few would make it back to Mexico City many years later. They have to fucking walk and take him years, not even kidding, it's the worst fucking expedition

ever. 11 years later, the Hernando de Soto expedition another Spanish conquista dola conquista dola Ah fuck up reach the main Appalachia town of and hika Somewhere in the area of present-day Tallahassee, Florida probably near Lake Mika sugi mika suki The side of that old town has been known as the Martin archaeological sites since 1988 That year Florida State University Archaeologist B. Calvin Jones, Indiana Jones, Ish, uncovered early 16th century Spanish coins, olive jars, chain mail, crossbow corals on the grounds of Governor John W.

Martin House and Tallahassee. That site now considered to have the best claim to be the winter encampment of the DeSoto expedition and part of the DeSoto site historic state park. And back when DeSoto was alive and not just an important historical figure, he adapted the Native American name, uh, Appalachie, applied it to the coastal region, bordering Appalachie Bay, as well as to the tribe that lived around there. Appalachie still the name of the Bay in, uh, northeastern, in the northeastern Gulf Mexico, occupying an indentation of the Florida coast to the west to where the Florida peninsula joins the u.s. mainland and to Soto and his

party cemented Appalachian as the term for the land that lay north of Florida. And over time, that term morphed into the name of the region of present day Appalachian. Went way north of Florida up into Canada. This is all happened in the early 16th century. And that makes, you know, Appalachian, one of the oldest surviving European place names in the US, or, you know, Appalachia. So that's what the term Appalachia comes from. The Spanish interpretate is meaning anything north of central Florida. So how come I keep choosing to say Appalachians did? Now I'll address that. Some people definitely think that St. Appalachia instantly signifies you as an outsider. And I would say for most parts of the region, that's right.

However, other people think that you say Appalachia signifies you as an outsider. There is no complete consensus on the pronunciation among people who have lived in Appalachia or Appalachia for multiple generations. It can vary inside the same county, even inside the same city. As a broad generalization, people from the northern part of Appalachia are more likely to pronounce it like I just said, while people from the central and southern parts more likely to pronounce it Appalachia, especially in rural areas. And while no official large-scale census has ever taken place, I think that more people overall, quite a bit more, say Appalachia.

And Internet poll does agree with me in this assessment that I'll get to in a second here. And this is the oldest pronunciation for historical reasons. I've made clear. Appalachia credited in most dictionaries as the first way the word was pronounced. Appalachia now officially also used, but didn't show up in those dictionaries until much later. Dictionary.com might go to guide for most pronunciation, you know, issues.

Outside of hearing native speakers talk on YouTube, actually list four variations. Appalachia, Appalachia, Appalachia, and Appalachia, for fuck's sake. Appalachian, or Appalachian Americans, an active Facebook group with over 230,000 self-proclaimed Appalachians who want to preserve their region's culture. Now I got my mouth all twisted up. They responded to a survey on how to pronounce Appalachia and 76% said that Appalachia is the way to say it. Only 14% said that Appalachia is the way you're supposed to pronounce it.

I find that interesting because I feel like most emails I've gotten are from people who say, you know, the only way you say it is Appalachia. And when my daughter and Roe heard me work on this episode at home a couple nights ago, and practicing some pronunciations, she couldn't believe anyone ever pronounced it as Appalachia. She's never heard that, but she spent her childhood west of the Mississippi entirely, Washington, Idaho, California. So she's only heard Appalachia. So why does anyone even fucking care how this word is supposed to be pronounced?

In a word, tribalism. So people who can tell, you know, who is one of them and who's an outsider. And there have been historical moments we're making that distinction has actually been pretty important. During the prohibition era, how you set a town or a region's name could have helped identify you as from the area or not, trust worthy or not. Are you local? Or are you maybe a federal agent looking to bust up some speak-easies and some moon-shiners? For another example, during say coal miners strike, are you local on the side of the miners? Are you some fucking pinkerton sending to bust

some heads? No one who's from where, still matters to a lot of people today. Here's an example of that from a user on Quora. All right, I'm a southerner from the Appalachian. So this is my area. Everyone I know from this area, family, friends, locals from my parts, down to the people all the way to the end of the range, the natives all pronounce it as follows. Appalachia and Appalachian. How you pronounce this word has more meaning to those of us from the area than just mere

differences in dialects. This is one of the words used to immediately identify you. If you pronounce it as Appalachians or Appalachians or one of those trying to actually pronounce the chah and the I.A. by trying to hint at the I and make the double A sound as an apple, found in the spelling of the word instead of saying it is described previously above you have instantly given away your status as an outsider and natives will mark you mentally as not one of us. So there you go. So I think Appalachia wins with Appalachia as an acceptable substitute and I will say Appalachia because you know that's how the word is primarily pronounced where I'm from in the northwest. It should be because, you know, that's how the word is primarily pronounced where I'm from in the Northwest.

And because for this region, you know, or, you know, I, I'm an outsider as far as Appalachia, you know, and I should present myself as one I guess. So now that we have all that shit cleared up sort of, it's fucking crazy, right? How these things develop. Nothing I choose and no justification will satisfy everyone. What is Appalachia? It's a geographical and cultural region of the Eastern United States. It's the area that surrounds the Appalachian Mountains, which helped define the territory.

Appalachia stretches from southern New York to northern parts of Alabama, Mississippi, and Georgia. According to most, it's made up of 422 or 420 counties across 13 states and spans about 205,000 square miles. The regions approximately 25 million residents live in parts of Alabama, Georgia, Kentucky, Maryland, Mississippi, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, Virginia, and all of West Virginia. Fuck yeah.

West Virginia not digging around when it comes to Appalachia, not just dipping their toes in. They pushed all their cultural chips into the poker pot. No area of the US east of the Mississippi has ever felt more like the area I grew up in in north of central Idaho, like part to West Virginia, specifically Huntington. So far away from where I grew up, but when I was there, it felt like home. The Appalachian Mountains themselves actually stretched all the way from Canada to Alabama, but the cultural region we call Appalachia,

traditionally, it only includes the central and southern portions of the range. The named ranges that make up the Appalachian mountain range basically cover the entire East Coast from the Shikshok and Notre Dame ranges in Quebec to the White Mountains of New Hampshire, the Catskill Mountains of New York, the Blue Ridge Range and Southern Pennsylvania,

the Carolinas, and there's a ton more than Allegheny Mountains. Pennsylvania, the great Smoky Mountains, the Converland Mountains, the highest elevation in the Appalachians, are in the Northern Division, with mains, Mount Katatan, 5,268 feet, New Hampshire is Mount Washington, 6,288 feet. There are other pinnacles in the White Mountains, rising above 5,000 feet.

And in the southern region, peaks to the North Carolina Black Mountains, in the Tennessee North Carolina, great smoky mountains, rise above 6,000 feet. The highest summit, Mount Mitchell, 6,684 feet. A large distinctive G-Graphic feature of the Appalachians is the great Appalachian Valley. Great Appalachian Valley includes the St. Lawrence River Valley in Canada, the Kidditini, Cumberland, Shenandoah, and Tennessee valleys in the U.S. In terms of geographical features, waterfalls, streams, rivers, or common throughout much of the Appalachian system, Appalachian Jesus Christ. Generally temperate and humid common throughout much of the Appalachian system, Appalachian Jesus Christ.

Generally temperate and humid, the climate of the Appalachians presents a sharp contrast. No surprises there, given that at least geographically, Appalachia stretches basically the entire East Coast. One thing that most of these areas do have in common is heavy clouds and haze.

Smoking haze, nourishes the abundant plant life in the river systems. Plant life includes deciduous forest, smoking Hayes, nurses, the abundant plant life in the river systems. Plant life includes deciduous forest, conifers, sugar maples, buckais, beaches, ash, birch, red white oaks, and the north, farther south, or hickory, walnut, poplar, sycamore, chestnuts, all those plus, you know, around 140 species of additional trees found in the southern mountain region. I've driven through so much of it and so much natural beauty in those mountains, so green.

Rocky tree covered crags. Quick and clear mountain streams, it is gorgeous. In terms of animals, sightings of bison, elk and wolves were once common in the Appalachians, but disappeared long ago. However, elk are returning to the northern Appalachian Mountains, Appalachian Mountains, while Caribou and Moose have never left the northernmost areas. Scanner throughout other areas, Black Bear, White Tailed Deer, Wild Boar, Foxes, Raccoons, Beavers, other numerous small animals, perhaps cryptids, like the Rocky Branch Giant Rape

Beetle, maybe not that one, please God, but maybe the Whirling Wimpus, maybe of course, the Sheepsquatch. But maybe the whirling wimp is maybe of course the sheep's watch Name geography basic known flora and fauna plants and animals now covered at least briefly Let's get more into some of the human history and culture of the region Obviously Appalachia home to American Indians long before Europeans arrived We just learned that's where the name comes from various tribes including the Pena cock a mohiken Susquehanna inhabited the northern half of the Appalachians for centuries before European settlement. In the southern mountains, the Cherokee, where the primary tribe to live in Hunts, but there were many others like some of the Creek.

The original European settlement was primarily confined to the East Coast, interconnected trails for trade and exploration would soon bring settlers into the heart of Appalachia. Once the British were defeated in the Revolutionary War, Americans were free to colonize the interior of the country, and they did so with gusto and the spirits of manifest destiny. We went over that concept of length in the Oregon Trail suck. The US deciding, you know, that expanding westward was God's will and that God wanted Christians white Christians preferably men definitely straight men Who loved push but not too much getting to adultery whatnot to take everything they could for the glory of America That concept wasn't part of a national campaign like it would be in the early and mid 19th century

But it existed culturally for all practical purposes if you wanted land at the end of the 18th century cheap land lots of it You headed west into Appalachian you fucking took it for many non-US citizens in your way. Before European settlements, there were over 50 Cherokee towns and settlements in southern Appalachia connected by a system of foot trails. Many of which later would become wagon roads. Then as listeners of the Trail of Tears Suck or Remember Cherokee Other Tribes,

driven out by warfare, government sanctioned, forced eviction by the mid-19th century. Even after a large amount of travel removal, the rugged region was still not going to be settled easily or simply. The Appalachian Mountains were the first formidable barrier to early pioneers head and west, a pre-cursor to the even more formidable Rocky Mountains that would come later. A size and complexity of the Appalachian mountain ranges.

The rugged courses of the many streams and rivers The dense forest made it difficult to travel into and throughout much of the area The wilderness of Appalachia became a frontier for exploration and living in the late 18th century Daniel Boone One of my mom's nicknames for me. I'll have Daniel Boone who's 1775 Expedition through Virginia's Cumberland gap into Kentucky established a settlement route for settlers moving west became the first folk hero of America's pioneer era. He founded Fort Boonsboro, one of the very first US outposts of any sort on the west side of the Appalachians because the Central Appalachians, modern day Pennsylvania, Ohio and Tennessee,

had more spacious water gaps that enabled people to pass through more easily. These areas once properly discovered once word got out attracted the largest numbers of early settlers. Many of these people were German and Scotch Irish who went into the interior of Pennsylvania then migrated down to the Great Appalachian Valley and departs to present day Virginia in Tennessee. They quickly found out that the area was rich in lumber, mineral resources and animals for fur trading. But despite the early arrival of the lumber industry and the opening of the coal

mines, some areas of Appalachia would remain isolated until early the 20th century. Roughly a century into the settlement of Oregon, California, Utah, etc. Parts of West Virginia, other areas of Appalachia still real rugged, not real settled. Notably the mountain areas in southern Appalachia, where rough, where rough train made building roads damn near impossible, it developed a distinctive culture. This culture became characterized by handcrafted wares, ballads, folklore. This culture became what the area known as Appalachia would become known for overall. Hawkfolk dogfolk.

Yeah. Yeah. The culture of Appalachia consists of arts, crafts, food, myths, folklore, multiple ethnic influences, African German, Native American, but mostly known for none of that. Mostly characterized by the hillbilly stereotype. And that stereotype did not magically appear out of nowhere. It has very real roots. The groups I just referenced all blended together into a cultural melting pot that essentially defined Americana as we know it today. But I didn't mention the biggest

ingredient in that pot by far, possibly as high as 90% of Appalachian settlers in the 18th and 19th centuries, were Scots Irish, aka Scots Irish. Isn't that fucking crazy? 90%. The overwhelming majority were descendants of Ulster Protestants, whose ancestors had migrated to Northern Ireland from the Scottish Lowlands. Many had been supporters of William of Orange, aka William III, the Protestant King of Scotland, England and Ireland, affectionately known as King Billy among the Scots. When former King James II invaded Ireland in 1689, Williams followers known as Billy Boys hit out in a forest along the hills for sneak attacks upon the enemy.

These fuckers were wild bunch, right? Some later 13th early 14th century, William Wallace blood still running through their veins. Freedom! Right? Those guys. When they came to America, New England was already full of British settlers and these so-called hillbillies settled in the wilderness of the Appalachian mountain range, where the land was cheaper and where they wouldn't be bothered by some uppity, posh,

Brit, fucks, one notable person and a time suck alum whose parents were hillbillies, dude, who was plum full of hillbilly blood himself, Andrew motherfuckin Jackson. As I said a long time ago, Andrew Suck, uh, Scott's from the Highlands of Scotland called Hillfolk. Many of those Hillfolk also called as a head Billy boys, as I said, these terms combined to do Hillbilly boys. That term eventually shortened to Hillbilly's. And that name followed these immigrants to colonial America. And these Hillbilly immigrants were not nobles. They were not highfalutin merchants and whatnot. They were largely poor, fiercely self-reliant, with an innate distrust of the government after decades of fighting the English and Catholics.

And that is where the Appalachian cultural stereotypes such as family loyalty, rebellion against authority, a passion for self-defense, gave rise to the image of hillbilly's as wild reclusive mountain men. A lot of that hog folk, dog folk, clannish shit is real. And some of those wild-eyed fuckers are my ancestors that I spoke of in the Andrew Jackson suck. I didn't have the 23 and me results back then yet, but now I do. They say I'm 55.8% British and Irish.

Only 20% hungy bangy. Swedish Norwegian, thought it'd be more. Just the way the jeans express themselves and each person I would be surprised if roughly a hundred percent of the 55.8% of me from the UK is all hillbilly My direct ancestors like one generation above still very passionate about self-defense reclusive rebellious distrustful of the government and just any large organization corporate America the church my dad kept a low to gun in every different room of our house the last few years I was in high school super worried about the possibility of intruders coming in and stealing the only things he had a value which

would have been the guns. Uh, yet tax issues because he didn't trust the government. He didn't like paying the government, you know, taking a shit who does really but just trustful of the government enough to always have some version of will drive to this remote location if trilateral forces try and enslave us, you know, we can live off the grid. Hid literal bags of gold dust in the walls at one point, because he was worried about the US economy collapsing.

And after you fucking live off the land and trade and gold, I guess. I have uncles with very similar dispositions. My dad's no longer paranoid like he used to be, doesn't try and start fist fights with people anymore. But he used to have, you know have a lot of hot blood in him, a lot of hillbilly, a lot of quick temper. And so did most of his brothers. They'd fight, fist fight.

You know, it's grown men sometimes. Between family members and strangers alike, they'd fight. Generation before my dad even wilder. My grandpa was like a boxing champion in his, I don't know, wasn't his unit in the Korean war, but in some region. And he was real, he was a pastor, also a real feisty dude, very, very feisty. Most of my friends have thought I'm the wild and crazy one of the bunch.

And I feel like most of my hillbilly ancestors will be very disappointed in how comparatively tame I am, right? Why am I not out there fucking punch people? This group of Scott's Iversey's true hillbillies, people like most of the branches of my family tree, they're the basis of the modern, wherey-eyed, banjo, plain, dirty, feet-haven, remote cabin in the woods.

You ain't from around here, are you? Back with stereotype. But these people, not the only groups that settle in Appalachia and help create this culture. Important to note, you know, major part of the culture, but not the only part. German immigrants who were often referred to as Dutch by hillbillies because they came from Deutschland.

Uh-huh, out of my ancestors, now real solid with the book learning. Another group had a huge influence on Appalachian culture. They primarily settled in Northern and Central Appalachia in Pennsylvania and Virginia, bringing with them food such as apple butter. Oh, God, love it. Sour crowd.

Traditions such as chinked corner cabins, chinking the material that fits between the imperfect joints of logs to ensure a seal and a log cabin from external elements like or elements like rain, snow, sleet, well, keeping heat inside, cool air inside in summer, like cocking. Their cultural identity was so strong, they did not assimilate very well. They had their own German schools and churches.

You can still feel their influence today in a few little parts of Apple, uh, Laysia, little Alpine towns, like little Switzerland, North Carolina, Helen, Georgia. Uh, both those towns came later than the Scott's Irish invasion, not forming until the early 20th century though. And the Germans, you know, they did tend to come over after the Scott's Irish, and they were treated considerably less harshly in America than Scott's Irish immigrants before them, who were not well-liked by many British colonists and really not well-liked by almost any other sellers. Clanish, distrustful, hot-headed, maybe not the best qualities in a neighbor.

Another interesting but rarely discussed, appellation cultural influence, that of the Scandinavians, particularly people from Finland and Sweden, the Hwangi-Boingis. They brought with them woodworking skills, which gave rise to log cabins in the Blue Ridge area, cuts so well, they didn't even need any chinking. Logs leveled perfectly, no spaces left between them. There's Hwangi-Boingi carpenters, I have several of them in the family Ridge area, cuts so well, they didn't even need any chinky. Logs leveled perfectly. No spaces left between them. Let's hongy boi, he carpenters. I have several of them in the family tree as well. Out there impress the builders.

Although Appalachia is often thought of as a rural, primarily Caucasian region, African Americans have inhabited the area for hundreds of years. In fact, by 1860, estimated 10% of the Appalachian region's population was black. America's early pioneer, Arizona whites, blacks, Indians, all living close together in the Appalachian region's population was black. America's early pioneer, Arizona, whites, blacks, Indians, all living close together in the Appalachian range.

This gave rise in the early 19th century to a regional multiracial group originated in southern Appalachia, known as Malungans, who had a blend of African, European, and Native ancestry. And the African influence on Appalachia persists today in a big way, most notably in the banjo. Yes, the banjo, the stringed instrument central to bluegrass, other forms of Appalachian

music, hands down the musical mascot of Appalachia originated in Africa. Did you know that? The banjo comes from Africa. I did, of course, because I have an online triple doctorate in every and anything banjo from the A whole air banjo academy. Not even know that. Oh, let's go on a little banjo history lesson since no instrument is associated with Appalachia like the banjo. Oh, yeah. Oh, here we go. Come on.

A little bit of deliverance there. It'll do the bench. That's a great scene. European explorers early is the 16th century encountered what they called a gourd with neck and strings on expeditions to Africa. And African slaves brought versions of the instrument to the new world by 1620. Several sources have said banjo-like instruments, then proliferated during the days of slavery with early versions made from calabash gourds and animal skinheads attached with nails or tacks.

Some had a flat, fretless neck. Many had three or four strings, made it whatever material is at hand. As early as 1769, white minstrels impersonating African-American musicians by playing banjos and performing in blackface, eek, were common. By the 1840s, minstrel shows had gained great popularity

and Joel Walker-Sweeney,s, Minstrel shows had gained great popularity and Joel Walker, Swini, white minstrel performer became famous for his proficiency on the banjo. Some historians consider Swini the first musician to use the drum-like configuration. Excuse me, of the bottom modern day banjo, though other authorities dispute that claim. While Swini's portrayal of African Americans, obviously appalling and by today's standards, homeboy would get rightfully culturally annihilated if he did that shit today. He contributed a lot to the popularity of the instrument that would influence a lot of subsequent American music.

He was the first performer to use the banjo in a professional setting. Wasn't the first to employ the fifth string, but he popularized it for long other players adding a fifth string, the shortest on the banjo, typically used to produce a drone note, a swinging, inspired other musicians to take up the banjo, even worked with the Baltimore drum maker to produce banjos for sale to the public. And a lot of people bought and played these hillbilly harps, almost all of them around Appalachia. Not sure if anyone actually calls them hillbilly harps, but I do hope that term catches on now and I'm giving proper credit.

Uh, and the Civil War then became the true catalyst for the instruments popularity, the conflict brought people from throughout the nation into close contact, exposed and men into the banjo for the first time. In some regions, the instrument had been familiar only in bar rooms and race tracks before the war. Fuck yeah, bro. Fountain racing. Some goddamn hillbilly heart. Let's go. Let's go.

Come on. Let's go. Let's go. Come on That's some heavy metal banjo horn Play by a guy No man beard dirty cowboy hat overalls and I don't think anything else Overalls, and I don't think anything else. Perfect. White musicians and Appalachia began adapting European folk songs and fiddle tunes to the banjo, resulting in the traditions explored modified in the 1940s and the folk music boom

in the 60s. Many traced the source of much of modern original American music to the combination of fiddle and banjo. Bluegrass originated in the 1940s in Appalachia. Bluegrass has its roots mainly in traditional Scottish and Irish ballots and dance tunes. So interesting stuff, right? And then the summer of 2018, the next evolution

in banjo music was born, you may remember. That is when the air banjo debuted. Check out how I can spice up that dueling banjo jambore you heard earlier with some solid next level air banjo licks. BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG B Don't think, don't think, don't think, don't think, don't think, don't think. Huh, did you picture a fucking old man barefoot? Dance in the dirt? I bet a few of them just couldn't even help themselves. Listen to this episode. Be careful. If you're driving, you know, listen to some of these episodes.

Because I'm sure many of you felt compelled just to dance with joy when that was going on. Anyway, before moving on, one of the sources I found for the history of the banjo included some appellation banjo jokes. I'd not heard these before. I don't know why I would have. Now I don't want to have to be the one who experienced them alone. So here you go. What's the difference between a banjo and a lawnmower? You can tune a lawnmower.

Come on. What's the difference between a dead skunk in the middle of the road and a dead banjo player in the middle of the road? There are banjo player in the middle of the road? There are skid marks in front of the skunk. All right. How many banjo players does it take to eat a possum? Two, one to eat it, the other to watch for cars. Come on.

One more. What do you call 100 banjos at the bottom of the ocean? A good start. Going back to African American Appalachian influences now, not only did they bring the banjo with the people of the Afro-Caribbean diaspora, those face-ass words. Also introduced foods such as sorghum came, sweet potatoes, black-eyed peas, watermelon, and peanuts into Appalachian cuisine. Kentucky-based writer Frank X Walker coined the term Afro-Laccio in the 1990s as a means to bring awareness to the cultural influence of African-Americans in Appalachia.

All these cultures, mostly Scots, Irish, but with a bit of German Scandinavian-African mixed in blended together to form Appalachian culture in the 1800s. So what else characterizes Appalachian culture? First, religion. Christianity long been the main religion of Appalachia. Religion and Appalachia characterized by a sense of independence and a distrust of religious hierarchies, stemming from early immigrants, Protestant roots, a lot of non-denominational churches. Some 18th and 19th century religious traditions still practice in parts of Appalachia, including natural water aka Creek baptism rhythmically chanted preaching

Congregational shouting snake handling and foot washing don't need no praise now. Hey, I forgot this hill route snake Bring me to law just fine. Don't tread on me power to law for 10% of the serpent While most church goers in Appalachia, attend fairly well organized churches, affiliated with regional or national bodies now, small, unaffiliated congregations, still common and rural mountain areas, and some of these congregations have for sure helped fuel

certain hillbilly stereotypes. Snake Handling, that rare Christian denomination, it did rise in Appalachia, bone, bone in the mountains of Appalachia, not common in Appalachia, bone, bone in the mountains, Appalachia, not common in Appalachia, you know, way more people do not handle snakes there than do, but still more snake handlers in Appalachia than any other part of America. Snake Handling began in near Chattanooga, Tennessee in 1910 when Pastor George Hensley said he was commanded by God to take up serpents. Funny if he did hear a voice, but it was just like a neighbor ranking him.

Now just some dude outside his window. Hey George, got the serpent. Take up the serpent, got the snake. Handsley helped to spread this style of worship throughout the region by the 1930s. They became so popular that by the 1940s, most state legislatures in Appalachia had banned it because there had been a rash of deaths. Pastor Hansley himself died of a snake bite after being bitten roughly 400 fucking times. Over the course of so many terrifying sermons and demonstrations.

Another defining hallmark of stereotypical appellation culture, the hillbilly dialect. All right, this again does not come from nowhere. Most people in Appalachia these days do not speak with it, but a lot of folks do still have that classic redneck accent. This distinctive dialect is directly related to old world Scottish dialects has a much stronger Scottish influence than other American dialects. So it does come from somewhere. Uh, Appalachian hillbilly is America's, you know, Scottish accent. Check out this little clip from a 2004 Appalachian documentary called Mountain Talk featuring, and I shit you not, popcorn, Sutton, and Jim Tom Hedrick, popcorn and Jim Tom. Yeah, woo, bingo bingo.

First I called him Tars, and they used to call him casins years ago, you ever anybody said, look them casins on that vehicle. I tried to call them before we're to. Yes, casings. Then I call them tar. You know, yeah, the old and tar is looking at them. Tar is calling tires.

Come tires and I come, I call them tar. Yeah. Oh, folks, you know, I talk about their tires. I'm like, no, it's like a tarz. The Real Backwoods Rural Central Idaho accent is surprisingly very similar to this. I might add, it comes very natural to me. Also, what are the odds that either a popcorn or gym Tom,

know the way around a banjo? Fucking 100%. I mean, at least one of them has to play right or dabble in moonshine or have a killer recipe for squirrels to do or all you buff. A rural isolation, not to be demeaning, but a real lack of formal education as well, to play right or dabble in moonshine or have a killer recipe for squirrels to or all you above. A real isolation not to be demeaning, but a real lack of formal education as well. Harden this dialect for many people in Appalachia.

It's a poor folks accent, you know, where it's more important to speak plain to be real than it is to maybe sound up aty overly educated and like an outsider. Fear of the halls of academia. Seeing a lot recently with a rising distrust of science, see a see flat earth and many other conspiracy groups, you know, that's nothing new. And not always without merit, right? The poor and uneducated have been manipulated, depressed, fucked over by, you know, comparatively more educated elite from most of human history. Futile Europe didn't work out real well for the peasant. English kings, by and large didn't

make life grand for the Scott's Irish peasant. So distrustful of formalities, a plain, fullest slang and formal way of speaking has become a badge of honor for many poor groups of people throughout history. Hillbilly's being one of them. Speaking of education, let's address this aspect of the Appalachian Hillbilly stereotype. From much of the region's history, education and Appalachia hillbilly stereotype. From much of the region's history, education and appellation has in fact lacked behind the resignation. For most of the region's history, there hasn't been much perceived need for formal education for a population oriented towards farming and other industry. Early education in the region evolved from teaching Christian morality and learning to read the Bible in small one-room schoolhouses that convened only during the months when kids not needed to help with farm work

Reading the classics learning deductive reasoning appreciating Greek philosophy or world history Not big priorities for the popcorns and gymtoms of the world Not when there's farming to be done a hillbilly harp jamboree to be had and some squirrel meat to get eaten Ha eaten they would have fucking outside or get on out of here. To get eight. I'm sorry. I said it wrong. After the Civil War, mandatory education laws and state assistance did begin to help many larger communities begin to establish graded schools, high schools, later universities.

Are the Appalachians still uneducated? An educational gap between Appalachia and the rest of the nation, once considered wide, don't have exact stats for it since these stats just weren't collected in the 18th and 19th centuries like they are now. That gap is still there but is shrinking. Following stats come from the results of a report concluded in 2019 by ARC, the Appalachia Regional Commission, 87.2% of Appalachian adults, age 25 and over, have earned a high school diploma, very similar to the US average of 88%. The share of adults ages 25 and over in the region with at least a bachelor's degree rose

by 2.5 percentage points since 2010 through 2014. Now exceeds 24% compared to the national average of 32%. However, in central Appalachia, the heart of the mountains, placed like West Virginia, the share of adults ages 25 and over with at least a bachelor's degree, sits at just 15.2%. 18.3 percentage points lower than the national, uh, lower than the national average. So a lot of work still to be done. Why less education, you know, I explain the, you know, with the jobs, but also, you know, part of the reason poverty, less people have it enough money to continue with their education. Appalachia historically today, comparatively poorer in the rest of

the US. In the 1960s, Appalachia had the highest poverty rate and percentage of working poor in the nation. Roughly one-third of the region's population was living in poverty. According to the ARC's 2010, 2014 poverty rate report, poverty rates cross US 15.6% compared to 19.7% in the combined appellation regions of Alabama, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, and West Virginia. In 2014, the per capita income of the Appalachian region of Kentucky, only $30,308, while the average for the entire US $46,049. The number for the region taken as a whole comes out to 37,260, which is only just over 80% of the US average per capita income. That's a lot less. The average person US making,

you know, just over $3,800 a month, average person in Appalachia making $3,100 a month, Appalachians in Kentucky pulling just over 2500 a month. Dude's name fucking Jim Tom and popcorn probably pulling in about 50 bucks a month. JK, those dudes could be fucking killing it. I don't know. I just wanted to excuse to say their names again. Prior to COVID-19, the Appalachian Region was seen improvements in income and poverty. We'll see how it shakes out now.

Media and household income increased 8% between 2010, 2014, and 2015 and 2019. With increases reached at least 15% in almost 60 counties scattered throughout the region, despite these improvements. Appalachian homes still only pull in. 82.6% of the nation's average median household income. So why is there more poverty? Overall, an Appalachia than in the rest of the U.S. One of the oldest and most controversial explanations for Appalachia than in the rest of the U.S. One of the oldest and most controversial explanations

for Appalachia's underdevelopment in both education and income is what some scholars call the culture of poverty. Developed in the 60s, social scientists wanted to explain the disparity in Appalachian's incomes, the culture of poverty theory holds that Appalachian culture with its fatalistic outlook and encouragement of laziness is ill-suited to the modern economy. Under this theory, the solution to Appalachia's poverty is simple. To change the mountains is to change the mountain personality, a sociologist, Rupert Vance put it. The culture of poverty explanation been widely criticized by Appalachian study scholars

for drawing on and reinforcing stereotypes of Appalachian study scholars for drawing on and reinforcing stereotypes of Appalachian people as being isolated lazy hillbillies. I'm guessing popcorn and gym Tom, not fan to this theory at all. No one puts in a harder eight hour shift and fucking popcorn. I don't know. The culture of poverty explanation also informs JD Vance's argument in hillbilly, LG, which he describes as a book about a culture that increasingly encourages social decay in the context of regional economic decline.

Another popular explanation of Appalachian under development is what's called the resource curse. This one makes sense to me. The idea that places with a lot of natural resources are likely to be poorer because resource industries like coal mining, they dominate the local economy and prevent other economic sectors from growing. Appalachia is a place with abundant resources like coal mining, they dominate the local economy and prevent other economic sectors from growing. Appalachia is a place where the abundant resources like coal,

minerals, land, timber, forest, right, main jobs, lumbering, mining, farming, historically. None of these jobs need a high education. Employers don't decide the job based on education level. A diploma has not been a priority in job finding in this region for much of its history. Many kids at school age drop out of school to help their family work.

I think that, yeah, that is an interesting theory. I would not have come up with that explanation on my own and make sense to me. If a good living wage comes easy, thanks to abundant natural resources, and extracting those resources doesn't require a lot of education, one that removes a lot of incentive

for that education for a lot of people. Now, you can make $60,000 a year right out of high school, working in this mine, or you can go to school for four more years, take out a bunch of loans, and then maybe make $60,000 a year doing something else. You can make $100,000 a year as a union lineman for utility company. No college needed. Never have to not be called popcorn, or maybe make $70,000 a year as a social worker. If you have your master's degree and you have a supervisor insist that you do ditch the name, popcorn.

Another theory to explain regional poverty is the internal colony model. This is very interesting, I think. Developed in the 1970s to provide a political explanation for Appalachia's poverty. The internal colony model likens Appalachia's relationship to the rest of America, to that of a colony with its colonizer under this theory. Out of state companies, come into the region, exploit rich natural resources, corrupt local governments to ensure their control, leave ordinary Appalachian people with very little control over their local economic circumstances.

The rich and educated take an advantage of the poor and uneducated. That narrative, that's been around, you know, ever since some people figured out how to be fucking educated and got rich. The rutherfords and the Ebeneasers exploited the fucking gym tombs and the popcorns. So if Appalachians are uneducated or undereducated and comparatively poor, you know, it's not entirely their fault. So why does much of the media choose to focus on the poor and uneducated when there are plenty of other people living in the region? Maybe because it's fun to do that accent? I'm like, oh, it's a fun way to talk. I do fucking love doing it. That doesn't seem to be the reason scholars point to here. The rise of the Appalachian Hilboly stereotype, the figure in the modern national consciousness

began in the 1960s during poverty tours, political parades with stops in rural central Appalachia that President John F. Kennedy, uh, took, uh, Russia journalists followed during this period, Appalachia became synonymous with rural white poverty. The tours failed to show the diversity of the region. The journalists just focused on the impoverished. And once interest was shown in poor appellation, he'll believe some media members started to spin shit to sell more ads, right? Same old story exaggerate the narrative to increase sales, push some propaganda clear example. This was when a woman sued the Lexington Harold for publishing a photograph of her kids playing in a stream. Photograph was supposed to frame these kids as impoverished and dirty.

But they weren't. They were just kids just having fun with their mom. The photograph taken without her permission. Images like these were used by media makers whenever subsequent presidents stated they wanted to end poverty in America. And that linked Appalachia in the modern consciousness to poor, destitute white people. These images of an all white populace, depressed looking men hunched over from years of working in the minds, dirty faced barefoot kids, women and shift dresses, holding babies in one arm, cooking on a wood stove with the other. That has defined Appalachia for at least two generations now. But there's so much more to the region

than rural, comparatively uneducated poverty. All right, there's a, you know, 34, excuse me, private liberal arts colleges, four year schools in the Appalachian College Association. So many additional four year schools, not in that association. So many public universities as well. Plenty of masters in doctoral programs. West Virginia University, one of many of Appalachian's public institutions, Go Mountain Nears, offers doctorates and biomedical sciences, clinical and translational science, biomedical engineering and more. I just got two WVU doctorates last week as a fucking prize in a box of cracker jacks.

Come on, come on. No, just take it. Those are very well respected programs. It's just a few of many. There are cities as well. It's not a little just rural. Pittsburgh, the biggest city in Appalachia, 2.3 million for the metro area. And lots of successful artistic people have come out of the area, Gertrude Stein, Nellie

Blie, Michael Shabon, Willekathur, just a few heralded Appalachian authors, Andy Warhol, Philip Pearlstein, Robert Qualtor, some incredible Appalachian artists, Dwight Yokemwiss, Califa, Chad Atkins, Loretta Lynn, Crystal Gale, just a few successful musicians from the area. Steve Harvey, Brad Dorif, Jennifer Garner, just a few entertainment personalities from Appalachia. And I could go on and on, but you get it. The Backwood Stereotype doesn't come from thin air, but that stereotype does not define all of Appalachia, not even close.

Plenty of diversity in a very big area. Also, plenty of woods and places for weird, creepy cryptids to hide. Creatures that might be nothing more than the products of overactive imaginations, fantastical creatures, born in Appalachian minds, raised on folk stories rooted partially in Scottish and Irish fairy tales and a regional tradition of telling tall tales and some of Appalachia's more isolated areas or creatures that are strange and not proven but possibly very real. More real than the Rocky Branch giant rape beetle perhaps. Let's finally now that we have a better understanding of the culture surrounding these cryptids,

real or fake. Let's meet some of them in today's time suck timeline. After meeting today's sponsors. Thanks for sticking around, meat sex. Now let's get cryptid. Shrap on those boots, soldier. We're marching down a time, time, time, line. Let's start way back at the dawn of the 13th century, before Europeans arrived in the Appalachian region. According to a possible

Cherokee legend, this is disputed. Around 1200 CE, a great battle was fought between the Cherokee and Kataba Indians. At Brown Mountain, never since, mysterious lights have been spotted in the area, and the lights are thought by some to be the souls or ghosts of tribal maidens, still searching for their men who died in battle. One of the many theories about the mysterious brown mountain lights. Brown mountain sounds like a destination for a Cleveland steamers MC run. Okay, guys, let's make a run for Brown Mountain just on the backside of yellow river. I remember playing that golden water as a kid. Mommy used to say I like to water so much I had to take a shower in the river instead of

in the tub. Can you believe it? I'd say mom, can you self give me a golden shower for we ride over to Brown Mountain to find that train tunnel? Golden showers and exploring Brown Mountain tunnel with mom. That's about a good as childhood as any guy could ask for. If you ask me, anyway, I'm toots Martinez. I hope you get to check out my out of motorcycle club chapter. I'll refocus now. In the 1730s, when German immigrants began to settle around the area that would

become Frederick County, Maryland, these German immigrants allegedly began to encounter something called a Schneller Geist, meaning quick spirit. The earliest incarnations of the creature mix the half bird features of a Greek siren with the nightmarish features of demons and ghouls. Later reports by the end of the 18th century would describe this beast as half reptile. It would become known as the snally gastro, for some reason. Stories will evolve to rumors this beast swoop in sally from the sky to pick up and carry off victims, suck the blood of its victims, seven pointed stars, which repeatedly kept the snally gastro at bay, still can be seen, painted on local barns in the area.

More detailed encounters to come of this creature. 1771 German scientists attempts to explain the brown mountain lights off North Carolina or up North Carolina saying that they are inflamed nitrous vapors that is instantly disputed. Mountain folk don't want to hear no science vapor mumbo jumbo about no martial lights. 1797 writer Benjamin Barton writes about the Cherokee legend of the moon eyed people According to Barton human-like beings once lived in central Appalachia that were called moon eyed peoples Their eyes saw very poorly during the day at excellent vision of night. They were a nocturnal people Reminds me a little bit of vampires without any real like, you know powerful abilities.

Early settlers who heard about the Moon-Ein people speculated they were either a different race or that they were early European settlers who had somehow changed to become nocturnal after years of living in the new world. There are all these theories out there about Welsh people perhaps, you know, coming over centuries before Columbus. Today, the Georgia Parks Division of the Department of Natural Resources has a market for mountain, just east of Chatsworth, that mentions legends about a wall in the mountains origin.

There are stone piles without mortar on the mountains thought to be the remains of the fortification of some ancient people, the Moon-eyed people. Black says these people are said to have been unable to see during certain phases of the moon during one of these phases, the Creek people annihilated this race. Some believe the Moon-eyed people built these fortifications on the mountain. Back in 1797, Benjamin Barton cited Colonel Leonard Marbury and intermediaeery between the government and the Cherokee, writing, the Cherokee tell us that when they first arrived in the country, which they inhabit, they found it possessed by certain Moon-Eid people who cannot

see in the daytime. These wretches, they expelled, why were they wretches? What do they do? And his book, Barton and Furze, that the Moon Eyed people were ancestors of albinoes encountered by Lionel Waffer, a Welsh explorer in the early 18th century. And there have been, you know, there are Moon Eyed people and other regions of Appalachia too, supposedly. There's a mention of Moon Eyed people from Cherokee legends in Ohio, author Barbara Alice Man, who identifies herself as Ohio Barachlan, Seneca, suggests that a Moon Eyed people of Cherokee legends in Ohio, author Barbara Alice Mann who identifies herself as Ohio Bear clan Seneca, suggests that a Moon Eyed people of Cherokee tradition were Adina people from

Ohio who merged with the Cherokees around 200 BCE. The Adina existed from 500 BCE to around a hundred CE and built substantial earthwork mounds, that to be the remnants of ceremonial sites. Their culture was centered in Ohio. The Munei people have been described as short bearded white skinned people living in America long before the arrival of Columbus. Who are these people? No one knows. But I feel like there's a decent chance of popcorn, Jim Tom. I have some Munei blood run into their veins. Skip ahead July 21st, 1806 now. On this day, chimney rock, a high stone outcropping near Asheville, North Carolina. Can we see in for miles, the site of one of the oddest series of events ever recorded North Carolina.

The first few years, 19th century, residents around the rock reported a number of highly unusual sightings. Store begins on July 31st, 1806 when, sorry, I think I said, yeah yeah, 21st, it is the 30th, it's very important. Those 10 days mean everything, but it is the 31st. When eight year old Elizabeth Reeves, whose family lived in Buncombe County near Chimney Rock, told her older brother that she had been, she had seen a man, a flying man on top of Chim. Her brother refused to believe her. When she persuaded him to go look young Morgan Reefs saw not just one, but thousands of people. He really up the ante flying through the air around chimney rock. The people, the Reefs children saw were described

as beans clothed in brilliant white ranging in size from infants to adult. While they were generally human in shape, the children could not make out distinct features. There was no clear differentiation in age or gender to some of them. I'm not sure how they, how they could tell exactly what the infant to arrange, but anyway, are these angels flying moon-eyed people? The children call their mom, Patsy Reaves, who came running. Legically also saw this shit. All in all six people saw the apparitions. Elizabeth Morgan Patsy, the youngest Reeves daughter, Polly, as well as a neighbor, Mr. Robert Searsie, and an unnamed African American woman. According to the witnesses, the crowd of beans rose to the top of chimney rock. Then three members of the crowd rose higher than the others,

hovered, and then led the congregation of shining beans up to the air to disappear into the heavens. All right. It counted the strange apparitions, or apparitions, printed a few weeks later in the Raleigh Registrar and Gazette, decided again, an Edward Augusta, Edward Augustus Kendall's travels through the northern parts of the United States in the years 1807 and 1808. And for five years, no one would spot these fucking weird flying people. Then in 1811, different witnesses now. See two armies of these fuckers, riding tiny winged horses, not kidding.

Finding a fierce battle in the air above chimney rock. Over the course of several evenings in the summer of that year, multiple witnesses in different locations around chimney rock would claim to see two opposing bands of cavalry, riding winged horses, tiny winged horses, circling each other in the sky. God, if they only had cell phone cameras back then.

On the final evening, these two armies, I guess, finally engage each other in a massive battle. They clashed in the sky over chimney rock. It's pretty weird. They just flew around thinking about fighting up in the air on tiny flying horses for a couple days. How tiny were these flying horses? I don't know. They're just described in sources specifically as tiny, not small tiny. Maybe that's why I took them a couple days to put the battle together, right? I like to picture these horses being the size like pomeranians, but the warriors are regular sized.

So it kind of looks like that old poster image of like a circus bear, right? And a fucking tricycle or a little tiny sized. So it kinda looks like that old poster image of like a circus bear, right, and a fucking tricycle or a little tiny bicycle. So hard. Not to fall off your tiny winged horse. So hard to balance. You know, you have a jousting sticker, a sword, or I don't know, gun or something,

you're trying to fight sheesh. I just took him a couple days to get real comfortable riding those tiny assholes saddles. Well, these special cow-remen were allegedly armed with swords and witnesses said they could hear the distance sounds of clashing metal, the groans of the wounded. The battle lasted around 10 minutes at the end of which the defeated army retreated and the victorious army disappeared into some darkness where the darkness come from the fucking wormhole open up in the sky.

How many tiny horses were hurting the sky battle? More importantly, how much moldy ribred was eaten by these witnesses. This sounds like some hallucinatory or got poisoned or something. On newspapers across the state, carried reports of this strange battle, a public meeting was actually held. Love it. And Rutherford 10 North Carolina, which is a QDAS look in the little town of about 4,000 people, by the way, adorable Main Street. A lot of anti-bellum houses surrounding downtown. A Public speculation soon settled on the idea that the battle was a divine vision of highlights from the past, from the Revolutionary War. They had a public meeting about all this. I think it's a, it's like a, there's a universe of tiny horses and sometimes the tiny horse universe gets caught over into

our even now come on. What are you talking about? Jim Tom. It's obviously reenactors. It's obviously ghost revolutionary war reenactors. No, it's angels. And there's some. Listen, when horses go to heaven, they get shrunk.

I don't know the fuck they were talking about. I did get sucked into a fucking travel video for Rutherford 10 North Carolina by the end I was like, I could live there. Cool coffee shop, cool micro brew, museums, ice cream shops, friendly people, only an hour from Asheville. You got me, Rutherford 10, you got me. Rutherford 10 tourism people, you hooked me in. I think your tiny sky horse story is total bullshit, but I do love your town.

These weird visions, not actually cryptids, I guess. Let's jump to a creature story next, kind of. J 1850s would see the belled buzzard. Maybe not so much of a frightening cryptid, more of just a bird with a fucking bell around his neck, but maybe a magical bird, but probably not. Cryptid-ish, the build buzzard was a fearsome creature in American folklore frequently cited as an omen of disaster by the sounding of its death bell. The animals otherwise depicted as just a ordinary buzzard,

but has a bell on his neck. The bell buzzard originated from an actual account of turkey vultures with a bells tied to their necks. Bell buzzer's story circulated principally throughout the Southern US and is the origin of the phrase, not enough stands to bell a buzzer. Fuck never heard that phrase ever in my life. I guess it means you're stupid. Reports of buzzards with bells appeared as early as the 1850s.

Yeah, the States of Tennessee, North Carolina, Virginia, while sightings of the bell buzzer likely drawn from multiple buzzards, eventually the determiner, the would standard, you know, standardly replace A or plural nouns. I'm sorry, or plural forms. Prior to the 1880s, the bell buzzer would also be a sighted West Virginia, Delaware, Georgia, South Carolina. However, it would be the bell buzzer's appearance in Brownville, Tennessee during the yellow fever epidemic of 1878 that first connected the animal with natural disaster.

From then on, the bell buzzer legend grew to take a more ominous tone. Sounds like sometimes and times got, you know, got tough. Some assholes made them tougher by tying bells to buzzards, bringing people out. Sounds like something I would have done or would have wanted to do in my younger days. By 1885, the bell buzzer's range would expand to include the states of Maryland, Ohio, Kentucky, Mississippi, Texas, even New York. While most reports simply made mention of a siding, those that elaborated further reinforced the bell buzzards reputation as a harbinger of doom.

One of my favorite phrases, a harbinger of doom. Never thought I'd hear it applied to a fucking buzzard with a bell-arons neck. Newspaper article heading such as a bird of evil omen disaster feared with coming of bell buzzard made it clear to readers that some fucked up shit is on the horizon. A reference by the Delaware ledger on August 4th 1883 read, we most sincerely hope that the bell buzzard that has been so, uh, been so frequently spoken of, our exchange will not locate in this section. It might be the four runner of cholera. Unreal. Uh, late 19th century journalists legitimately worried about buzzards with bells.

Small town Nebraska paper in 1884, something noted, a buzzard with a bell in his neck is frightening people in Maryland. They take it to be the angel of death. Years later, an article from May 5th, 1900 reported that three Georgia veterans, J L Gerald, HC Davis and Jake G K Smith, while stationed in Tallahassee, Florida, did put a bell on a buzzard in 1863. And that, that was the bell buzzard that everyone was seeing. It was a prank. hilarious. It is possible that this started everything. Buzards can live up to 25 years. They can have quite a range of where they go. The article elaborated that the buzzard to capture it for

Gaines, Georgia was the same bird due to the alleged similarities in the bronze bell and a leather collar used. All right. Maybe let's hear about a cooler creature now. In the Hagger's, Hagger's town, mail from March 5th, 1871, residents were warned about a creature called the Tennessee Wild Man lurking in Piny in McNairy County in West Tennessee. Piny? Whenever I hear that word, I think it's an old song. Long time suckers know it. Sing along if you want to. Well, look at here now.

Got some peak. Tissets peak. I heard it leak out of my woman's beard. Well, look at here now. I got some peak. Take a peak. I've already leaked out of a woman's beard. Well, look at here now with the full belly. I made about maybe one of the women on mine and the governor's wallet. We got. Yeah. Uh, old Jersey devil times that cut. Another wild ass cryptor tail. Uh, wrong piney for this story though. Uh, this wild man supposedly approached women with wild horrid screams. Well, attempting to carry them off. He was described as tall with great muscular strength and covered in dark, matted hair.

He also ran with swiftness that defied both men and dogs. A wild man could outrun a hound. That's a speedy some bit. Full article red. And I will read this in a stereotypical hillbilly accent, complete with a banjo soundbed for dramatic effect. We learn that between Th Thalvan Craneville, and what he's called Pining in McNair account in Tennessee, strange and frifled bean, has been observed for several weeks.

He said to be seven feet high and possessed a great muscular power. His eyes are unusually large and fire-red. His hair hangs in a tangle and matted mass below his waist and his beard reaches below his middle. His entire body is covered with hair and his whole aspect is most frothful. He shone to sight of them, but approaches was wild and horrid screams of the lot ever woman who was uncompromising by a man. Sometimes with great caution, approaches houses should he see a man he runs away with astonishing swiftness. Leaping in tallest fences with the ease of a deer, he find a lot to pursuit of men and dogs. He has

frightened several women by attempting to carry them off as well as by his horrid aspect. And the whole country around Saby is in consternation. Citizens are now scaring the woods and are determined to capture or drive off the monster. Cryptid? Pervy, hairy creep? Both? Now imagine that some bits right in the rocket giant rape beetle as this trusted purve steed. Sounds like a hairier version of last week's subject, Paul Bernardo, maybe he's fucking creepy dad Ken. Who the hell was this wild man? Some believed in to be a former member of a local town. Who'd either gone insane or explain some kind of conflict involving humanity. Okay. All right. But how does that explain to his how and beaten speed? Maybe they only used old fat dogs trying to run him down. I don't know. Same here. 1871, a wild man

supposedly rounded up by a squad of citizens in your Morgan town West Virginia. 327 miles from Pioneer Tennessee. Fucker probably jogged down to West Virginia one day. miles from Piony, Tennessee, fucker, probably jog down to West Virginia one day. Describe his half man and half beast covered in rags with long, brushy hair, giving him the appearance of a gorilla or the human being. This wild man said his name was Thomas Foley, a native of Ireland, of course, probably Scott's Irish fucking heel belly, living in the woods. Foley said he lived in Connecticut for some years before fleeing for the wilds of West Virginia where he had been living off the land. No structure for two years. As he said, when someone from the search party brought him home dressed him in nice clothes,

it said that he escaped bolted for the mountains tearing his clothes off as he ran. So maybe encrypted or maybe just a super weird dude, likely very mentally ill. 1887 party of gold miners traveling through the Glow Valley and Caldwell County, North Carolina encountered another wild man, although they only got within 40 yards of this man. One miner claimed that this peculiar specimen of humanity appeared to be a giant six foot five inches with a funnel shaped head and two inch long dark hair covering his body. Okay, now we're talking. I think maybe not a hillbilly, although some are known to get hairy and not have the

most traditional traditionally shaped heads. Fellas part of the miners. He pounded on his chest before turning, bounding off into the woods with a speed of a deer party, tracking with guns drawn to a cave, deep in the mountains where they supposedly found bones of many animals scattered about Indicating that he'd been living feeding there for a while I'd like to believe that this wild man was that fucking Thomas Foley character from West Virginia But on the woods for eight goddamn years now getting bigger hairier somehow

More Tennessee wild men Sightings would follow two decades later in 1896 forest and stream an outdoor magazine kind of a precursor to field and stream Published a sketch of the wild man of Chilhawi a creature with talent-like fingernails and toenails tusks instead of teeth and Hair and beard to his waist and I think maybe this is still Thomas Foley 187 miles 19 years from that Highlanders last side. And of course, he has talents on his fingers and toes.

He hasn't clipped anything in 27 years. He has tusks for teeth because he's been fucking eating rocks. He's adapted to eat rock when he gets hungry. So much calcium in the system of 400s encountered this naked wild man in the forest of East Tennessee. After following him back to his layer, they attempted to seize him and take him to Cleveland, where the man uses brute strength to power the man and run and then a posse, returned for this wild man did capture him,

supposedly sent him to an insane asylum. We're according to the report he now reposes in comfort. God dang it. They locked old Tommy up. It seemed like he was doing so well. Clearly not encrypted here. Just another mentally ill mount man. Two more cryptid adjacent sightings and then back to a real monster, the Stanley Gaster.

More brown mountain light stories come in 1897, Joseph Loveon, who lived next to Loveon's hotel, said he had first noticed the lights in 1897 and took no interest in them. Didn't hear anyone else talking about them until his neighbor's CE Gregory began trying to draw public attention to them around 1910. So what were they? Well, they didn't know. Strange lights flickering around sometimes in the trees, sometimes floating above the trees. Where no man, no, no train was known to be. B. Round Mountain Lights were featured in episode of the X-Files. Field trip.

21st episode of the sixth season. Came out in 1999, Vince Gilligan co-wrought that episode. The creator of Breaking Bad. The cause of the lights in the X-Files series, a mysterious hallucinogen caused by fungal spores. Kind of like magic mushrooms, maybe alien in nature though. Trooms can make you see some strange lights.

Now for another Wildman siding, a big bastard, February 8th, 1889, the New York Times reported the following, Chattanooga, Tennessee, February 7th. The citizens of Walker County, Georgia, a few miles from this city are very much excited over the existence of a genuine Wildman who haunts the mountain region of the county. He is described as being of gigantic stature, covered with the thick growth of hair, and carries in his hand a huge knotted stick. He looks as if he might be the twin brother of Barnum's wild man and his fierce and untamable. This modern orson has been seen by several parties.

One gentleman bolded in the rest, encouraged the creature in a lonely part of the mountains one day Not long since and at a safe distance endeavored to strike up a conversation a Perfect shower of stones greeted his final words and thinking discretion the better part of Valla He made tracks from the dangerous neighborhood So again, maybe just a fucking weird dude. I'm not a cryptid It's next creature though. Oh, oh, oh, definitely cryptid February 1909 an article claimed that a man had been seized by the Snelly gaster

Which proceeded to sink his teeth into his jugular drain his body of blood before dropping it off along a hillside a fucking proper monster Sick bro the story was carried prominently in Middletown, Maryland's Valley register and soon spread far and wide The story was carried prominently in Middletown, Maryland's Valley Registrar and soon spread far and wide so much so that this Mistoney institution offered a reward for this thing not kidding even 51 year old current president Teddy mother fucking Roosevelt Famous as a big game hunter reportedly considered postponing an international trip. This is while he's an active president to personally hunt this beast holy shit I'm well aware that the seeds of war may be being planted in Europe at this very moment, gentlemen. And I will travel to the German Empire shortly to talk to emperor. We'll helm the second, but first, I have a snally gasted a hunt. And amongst the following snally gasted footprints reported New Jersey, then in West Virginia, woman claimed that she almost was almost got abducted by this dragon

like beast. Farmer claimed that the snail gastro, uh, roosted in his barn too late an egg the size of a barrel. Holy shit. When would that egg would taste like it scrambled it up with a little bit of milk, some butter, not a salt and pepper. Probably delicious. I love eggs. I bet I would love a snail gastro egg.

Snail gastro benedict with some wild man, hollandaise sauce. That sounds gross actually. Also man in castenol, Ohio wrote a letter to the Valley Register telling of a strange creature that flew over his area making terrible screechy noises. He described as having two huge wings, large, horny head, and a tail 20 feet long. Hading, I think more from a fucking siren demon to a dragon over the past century and a half, that's impressive. It's mutating out there in the forest. Another sighting in Frederick County occurred in March 1909 where

three men claimed to have fought the creature. Hell yeah. Outside of railroad station for nearly an hour. That's a long last fight. Oh, sorry. Hour and a half. Excuse me. Longer fight. And then chased into the woods of Carol County. By the couldn't catch it. Not every day you come face to face with a fucking monster dragon demon thing. Afterward, no more sightings as mysterious creature for the next 23 years. 1910 would mark the first appearance of another appellation, appellation creature again. The whirling wimpus. This one, oh, this is quite the fever dream. Horting the lumberjacks who spotted the creature in eastern Tennessee, the wimpus has a guerrilla-shaped head, and body, enormous front feet, and tiny legs.

Small but powerfully muscled. And it gives this Tasmanian devil-like creature the ability to spin very quickly like a top. It is the spinning that gives this thing its name, the whirling Wimpus. And that's its primary hunting mechanism as well. A Wimpus will literally use its strong arms and rapid spinning to beat victims into a paste. It is like a Tasmanian devil. It likes to hide next to a trail apparently, then pop up, stand on his little hind legs

and then just fucking whirl, whirl, whirl. Any person, any person or animal coming up on the trail could get sucked into a fucking vortex. This thing makes. And then the pressure of the vortex will turn its prey into syrup. And then the whirling wimpus will slurp up the blood syrup. Seriously that is the legend. I feel like I put more thought into the rocky branch giant rape beetle than early wood

folk put in put into the backstory of the whirling wimpus or just the tail. The fuck is happening here? Lumberjacks would blame the Wimpus for the disappearances of inexperienced fellow loggers and hunters. If the lone hunter made the mistake, eventually, down to the woods, the lone in the morning didn't return before sunset. People assumed and small, isolated areas,

you know, they were the world in Wimpus, Serpsnack. Because the Wimpus was so bloodthirsty, there were oftentimes no large and identifiable remains clothing or weaponry left behind. Everything uppulled into the vortex. The wimpest would devour every last bit of them. According to these lumberjack, search parties would come across large footprints left deep in the woods, filled with small pools

of thick tree sap. Hmm. This was the good evidence that their buddy had been fucking surpped by the wimpest, had been world. The search party would listen to, you know, when they saw this, This was the good evidence that their buddy had been fucking surpped by the Wimpus, had been world. The search party would listen to, you know, when they saw these surpped tracks for distinctive buzzing sounds that the Wimpus would make in the world.

Can we agree that these lumberjacks, uh, who came up with a story were so fucked up when they did. A lot of moonshine went into that legend and this next creature is even weirder. This might be my favorite. Also in 1910, the 1910 book, Fear Some Creatures of the Lumber Woods. Lumber Woods. I would describe a creature from Pennsylvania

known as the Squawk. The Squawk is of a very retiring disposition. This is the description here, generally traveling about at Twilight and Dusk. Because if it's misfitting skin, which is covered with warts and moles, it is always unhappy. Hunters who are good at tracking are able to follow a squawk by its tear-stained trail

for the animal weeps constantly. When cornered and escaped seems impossible, or when surprised and frightened, it may even dissolve itself in tears. So it sounds like it might literally just, you know, it's cry itself to death sometimes. It know, it's Christ's self to death sometimes. It cries because it's so sad and ugly. And sometimes it ugly cries, it's ugly self to death. That is the weirdest, saddest cryptid I've ever heard of.

Later retellings out of the squawks were slowest on moonlight, moonlit nights because they would try to avoid seeing their ugly reflection in bodies of water. In addition to warts and moles, you know, later on in their mythology, the creatures were given webbed toes, but only on their left feet. That creature sounds like it was made up by 1910 version of of me. Now we're 1913. Another explanation for North Carolina's brown mountain lights is tossed out after another reported sighting. This account of the light states from September 24th, 1913 is reported in the Charlotte Daily Observer.

Describe mysterious lights seem just above the horizon every night, red and color, appearing punctually at 7.30 p.m. and again at 10 p.m. Attributing the information to Anderson 11 an old and reliable resident. Locals ask their congressman for a government investigation and the US Geological Survey employed DB Starrat dispatched to the area quickly finds that the headlights of the westbound southern railways locomotives Would have been visible from love and so tell and the train schedules he consulted left him no doubt These were the cause of the lights that were being reported but but but as I reported on episode 116 It's scared to death in July16, these lights would still be spotted despite local flooding, pausing train service

to the area for several weeks. So, hmm, not satisfied by the train light explanation. Brown Mountain was featured in an American Pulled magazine in the Argus seed, telling people the lights were UFOs. And then many started to believe the mysterious lights were aliens. Lights were reported being white, red being white red yellow orange and blue Describe looking like large balls of balls of fire to small candle lights anything in between and from floating near the ground to rising up high into the sky And they are still seen today when the trains are not running

Hmm All right Late 1920s now, more snally gaster, sightings. Fuck yeah, bro. Where's that demon dragon siren thing been? Because of the gap in sightings, I'm now assumed that the lifespan of a snally gaster is around 20 years. And the new snally gaster is the child of the one from 1910s. That makes me think why would they assume only one would exist at a time?

Did they reproduce Ase actually? As one snally gaster, you've birthed a new one, a clone, then die. Once again, snally gastric back in Frederick County, Maryland, according to locals, the creature now is stealing chickens and other small animals. Farmers are thinking this snally gastric is a huge pest. Man, sounds like this snally gastric a bit smaller than its dad mom. Snatch and chickens, hard times for a demon dragon. Something this monster's reappearance showed up because of prohibition. Moon

Chiners in the area reported to have fanned the fear flames of the snally gaster in an effort to scare government agents away from their distilleries. Also tried to explain the sounds that came from their stills at night. Counts of thunderous explosions, loud screeching sounds began circulating with disturbing regularity. As the noises became more common, so the reports of a wing creature this time and has razor sharp teeth occasionally alongside huge octopus-like tentacles. It's getting scarier again. And it'll swoop down to the snatch, grown ass men, drag them off at night.

So is it a little chicken snatcher? Is it a big dude, grabber? The Baltimore Sun published some articles as did the Washington Post. These articles reference and sources have not given dates, so I don't have them to share. Thinking about what they, you know, may have read like, may me think about like a like a breaking news broadcast about this thing. Hello, people of Baltimore. Here at CRPD News, we just received a report of another area's snally-gaster attack.

The demon dragon was spotted in the backyard of Agatha Nichols, where the 78-year-old witnessed the creature chasing her silky-tarier princess before she walked out and yelled at it. It then whimpered and flew off. This is Nichols told a CRPD reporter that it looked tired and hungry. It seems that this creature is of the chicken snatcher, variety, and not the man-grabbing time. So, keep your pets inside, your chicken's cooped, and rest easy Baltimore. Stay tuned for more news and 11. The more articles that were published, the more pressure came to catch or photograph

the Stalingaster. National Geographic, even prepared an expedition, kept this thing on film, trying to avert a panic the Baltimore Sun report of the stale gaster was dead in November 1932. I love that people were apparently starting to panic. Everyone's back, we gotta go, grab the dog, get in the car. Now we gotta get the nine o'clock train to Boston for that demon dragon returns. Oh, God, it's one of the big ones.

On the paper, a shadowy photo of the dead creature, a company in a questionable account of how to drown in a vat of whiskey on a Baltimore County farm. By the spacious coincidence, the report stated that the federal prohibition officers inadvertently blew up to still before the carcass could be examined. And then when prohibition ended, a short time later, stories about the stalagaster dropped off. 1934 now marks the arrival of another true appellation, appellation. Sorry. Crypted the devil monkey. Hell yeah.

As a way better named in the whirling wimpus, even though that thing is scary. You know, but if I'm going to an old time rest and match, I'm going to put some money down on the wimpus or the devil monkey based on name alone. For sure, you're going gonna pick that Devil Monkey. This Saturday night, Shrath the Allegheny County Fairground, it's the whirling Wimpus versus the Devil Monkey Monster, versus Monster Wimp, versus Chip.

Canna Banana Loving Satan Monkey withstand the twirls and worlds of a little-legged vortex surrepliving Sasquatch kind of thing. Who wins? Who spins? Find out on Saturday night of the Alligator County Fairground. We'll tell you the whole seat, but you'll only get it.

The first reported encounter with this reportedly swift dangerous predator occurred in 1934, South Pittsburgh, Tennessee. According to reports, which were allegedly published in national newspapers, eyewitnesses described the mysterious beasts that could leap across fields with lightning speeds. The ability to jump great distances up to 20 feet according to some accounts have led some to speculate that these animals may have something to come with kangaroos, or they're not real at all and made up by lunatics or that related to kangaroos or related to the whirling whimpers.

I'm going to be honest, I'm very open to the paranormal. The most I've ever been since I was a kid, but no super strong contenders so far out of the creatures for something real in my mind, right? I'm just not feeling quite yet. Hey, David, and Hansard, your children are here. Gilgris, applying the paradigm of the known to the unknown, just as an affair way to evaluate cryptids. The world of science through experimentation and exploration has redefined what is known

many times over, which has led to incredible discoveries which have cure diseases sent man to the moon to use that to examples the warning wimpus while foreign to your mind may fit in perfectly with the rules followed by fauna of se parallel universe overlaying our own that science has yet to discover so you so you believe in the in the whirling web is no that's nonsense but but keep in open mind for the rest maybe you can go and forward uh... thanks david that was actually really good advice okay cool yeah not just uh... i'll just show myself out and you know until you uh... neepy next

huh uh... he didn't he didn't even plug his uh... new show in angie maybe it's a thing i was a really nice you know children's appearance. Next monster, a dusk, September 12, 1952. And the first recorded setting of the Flatwoods monster occurred in West Virginia. The May brothers, Ed 13, Freddie 12,

have been playing their school yard when their 10 year old friend Tommy Hire shows up. After the boys noticed a pulsing red light streak across the sky and crashed her nearby farm. They'd run to the maize boy's mother, then high tailored up to the hill to check out where the light landed. Then a few other boys, one with a dog shows up, not show where the dog details important. Doesn't come up again in the story. They ran back down the hill and fucking terror. And then another guy said he sought seven Braxton County residents on Saturday reported seeing a 10 foot Frankenstein like monster in the hills above flatwoods, a local newspaper

report said afterwards, a national guard member, 17 year old Jean lemon leading the group when he saw what appeared to be a pair of bright eyes and a tree. Lemon screamed, fell backward. The news account said when he saw a 10 foot monster with bloody red body and green face that seemed to glow. May have had claws for hands hard to tell because of the dense, weird mist surrounding it. Like with moth man, the side you know, blamed on, you know, people seen a normal creature by a lot of folks, probably a bar now.

Flatwoods monster, even though spotted first ended up kind of becoming a low rent moth man. Logos in flatwood erected a welcome sign, which are welcome sign, which designated the town as home with green monster. The town also commemorated the legend in an annual Flatwood days festival, but no one really fucking cares about it. Flatwood is only home to about 260 people. And I'm guessing not even all of them show up at this festival. The devil monkey.

That'll show up again in 1959. Boyd family driving to the mountains near their home in Saltville, Virginia, according to their account in A-Plyke Beach, a tax their car leaving three scratch marks on the vehicle. The boy's daughter, Pauline, describes the terrifying attacker. It had light, taffy colored hair with a white blaze down its neck and underbelly. It stood on two large well-muscled back legs, had shorter front legs or arms. A second devil monkey encounter, allegedly

purchased days later in the same region. Several days after this incident, two nurses from the Saltville area were driving home from work one morning and were attacked by an unknown creature who ripped the convertible top from their car. That's fucking terrifying. Luckily, the nurses were unharmed. I have to wonder, is this devil monkey Thomas Foley come on. He escaped that mental institution sometime after 1896. He's over a hundred years old now continually mutating growing stronger

and stronger. Hail Nimrod. May we all live as long, but maybe not mutate quite as much as Thomas Foley Irish Wildman on 1970. Another creature appears. The Pennsylvania white bigfoot first spotted or Thomas Foley again, assumed to be a cousin of the normal brown bigfoot. The Pennsylvania White Bigfoot first spotted by woman referred to as a net B. According to a net, the creature stood between six and seven feet tall with a broad chest,

long neck, coat of dirty white fur. A net went on to describe its face, saying, its eyes were dark and spaced far apart. Its white hair covered the lower half of its face. There was pinkish skin around the eyes and forehead. Looked like its hair was a little longer on its head and hanging over its forehead like bangs. Bigfoot with bangs, fuck yeah.

White fur is like a Yeti that wandered way off course from the Himalayas, maybe fell into a teleportation vortex or something. The next year, real different kind of beast appears. First media mention of goat man comes on October 27th and the booey Maryland based Prince Georgia's county news. Sounds like a real pathetic superhero. It is goat man able to eat much more than a regular man and also be more sure footed on steep hills

and rocky crags and you know kick pretty hard goat man no normal man he's harrier and uh goatier he has a hell of a time finding shoes that fit his little goat feet. And this article uh writer Karen Haaser takes a deep dive in the University of Maryland folklore Ark lives and finds goat man and our close are you this year in 71 two weeks later Haasler writes a newspaper article with the headline residents fear goat man lives dog found to capitated an old buoy The article describes a search of a family the Edwards for their missing puppy named ginger. Oh, no Didi no didi missing puppy named Ginger. Oh no! D.D. No, D.D. Not my little D.D. days later, Ginger has found near Fletcher Town Road dead and headless. Fuck! D.D. stay away from Goatman. The

article connected the deceased dog with Goatman saying that a group of teenage girls, including the Edward 16 year old daughter April, heard strange noises, saw a large creature, and the nice dog disappeared. I'll also reported that sightings of an animal like creature of the walks on its hind legs were increasing along Fletcher Town Road. Luckily, after this dog never seems to have killed anything else, weird ass go to takes one dog, then fucking disappears forever back into the ether.

Mysterious white creature seen in July 1973 in the TNT area of Point Pleasant, Wyss, Virginia, the epicenter of the Mothman sightings during that 66 67 wave we mentioned before the timeline. This creature would become known as a white thing, not the most creative name, or some people call it a double dog, not all creatures called double dogs, I guess necessarily appears dogs. They can be lions, they can be big cats. One thing stays the same, No, they're stark white with long, shy, you hear. Huh. I don't know, not sure that that's true, but that's some sort of thing.

They move a lightning speed sometimes on two lakes rather than four. Sometimes they seem to have too many legs. They're chilling screams. Sound like a woman being attacked or murdered. Whatever they are, they're blood thirsty. They attack without provocation. Their attacks are so real. People actually feel the beast fangs, tearing into their flesh.

But when the attack is over, they're shocked to find themselves without any injuries. It was all in their mind, maybe, but they don't physically seem to hurt humans. They maybe rip up animals, tearing out their throats, mutilating their bodies, leave a corpse as bloodless without a trace of blood around. It's never been directly witness, but, you know, assumed one witness, a 28 year old man, when interviewed would say that he saw a devil dog when he was seven. So that seems very legit. If you can't trust the seven year old, when it comes to accurate information regarding unexplained

creature sightings, I mean, who can you trust? Everyone knows that seven year old report fucking facts, nothing but facts. Uh, the kid was riding in a car with his family in 1973 when he looked out the window saw creature bounding down the road next to him. Creature was white with thick, shaggy hair. He couldn't see its face. But he set his head, was about three feet wide. Okay. Seven-year-olds also very reputable sources when it comes to size explanations.

The creature appeared suddenly alongside the car and floated to the air, falling them for a few moments, about 65 miles an hour and then gone So this next side feels more credible September 27th 1973 two young girls. So okay fuck credibility standing outside in Beaver County, Pennsylvania 9.30 p.m And they said an eight-foot tall bean covered in white fur red glowing eyes runs into the woods nearby Could it be the Pennsylvania white bigfoot or Thomas Foley? They said the Chumanoid carrying a large glowing orb in its hands.

That's interesting. Girls ran off hysterically into their house. The father of the one of the girls then went into the woods and searched this creature stayed there for over an hour. At same year observers noted that two bigfoot like creatures were seen standing in the same past year, not far from this. One woman tried to fire her shotgun at them because when you don't know what something is, you fucking try and kill it. But she missed it, disappeared. Then right after they disappeared, a glowing ore appeared in the nearby woods. What does that mean?

I don't know. But I bet that squirrelander, highlander, there can be only one highlander. Thomas Foley does also in 1973. Uh, Crypto's wall just author Lauren Coleman investigated reports of three black bushy tailed giant monkeys said to have slaughtered livestock and Albany Kentucky was a fucking epidemic of livestock slaughter because of giant demon monkeys, devil monkeys.

Coleman mentioned the event in an interview with animal planet saying I investigated the case in depth. I interviewed the people who were very sincere. In the whole context of devil monkey reports, it seemed extremely sincere. Yeah, I bet a lot of devil monkey reports pretty well. Yeah, these reports of herity, monkey-like creatures with tails, very different than Bigfoot.

This guy, 74 year old from Norfolk, West Virginia, has written over 40 highly respected books or over 40 books, like the field guy to Lake monsters C. Serpent's and other mystery denizens of the deep and cryptos wall G A to Z the encyclopedia of lock monsters Sasquatch Chibacabras and other authentic mysteries of nature. I'm guessing he and childrens know each other yet another new Appalachian Appalachian cryptid would arrive on the scene in August of 78 the Grass Man aka the Ohio grass man, aka big foot, but different name, maybe not a new cryptid, maybe a repackage one.

The first prominent side of the grass man occurred in the small village of Minerva, Ohio, August 1978, the grandchildren of Evelyn and how Clayton, along with their friends, ran inside, screaming about a hairy monster. They all saw on a gravel pit outside. So that is interesting. A lot of people see in it. When the couple went out to investigate further, you know, they see the creature is covered in dark matted hair.

Oh, sorry, the kids ran in first and then everybody else sees it. I just read my own notes wrong. And they see this saying dark matted hair, sitting in the fucking gravel pit and fiddling with discarded trash. And they estimated it was around 300 pounds. So maybe a monster or maybe you know, just a large hairy sad dude sitting in a fucking gravel pit,

you know, sifting through some trash. Not what not knowing what to do, the Clayton's fled, but then Grassman would return. One night Grassman was seen peering attempts at their kitchen window. It's fucking sad gravel dude wanted to snack. How ran for his gun, but then this primate or sad guy was gone before he returned. The area was later investigated by police. Although there was no sign of the hairy humanoid, several faint footprints observed in the mud

and a terrible smell still lingered in the air. He's smelly sad guy. Clayton's in Saudi Ohio, grass man again, a top of hill, a nearby strip mine, night a few days later. The next month in broad daylight, the couple observed two hairy bipeds on the same hill. So grass man's got a lady. Only after these reports made by the Clayton's, they were made that are startling connection was made days before

the gravel pit incident. The Clayton's German shepherd was found dead. It's neck broken. The Ohio grass man obviously killed it. Took him while to put that together. So our big foot and grass man the same thing. Well, people have speculated that grass man is another species similar to big foot. Perhaps, you know, a group of big foot got separated over time from all the other big foot that no one can ever catch. And you know, they developed their own unique traits. This seems to happen with big foot more than with any other cryptid. Practically every area has their own hominid variation, prowlingine woods. Even Ohio, where the grass managed allegedly from, there's regular old Bigfoot sightings there too. According to the Ohio

Bigfoot research organization, BFRO, Ohio has over 300 Bigfoot sightings. Here's one of them happened in 2005, as investigated by BFRO and investigator, Steven P. An event earlier, in the month preceded the sighting at the end of May, 2005. At that time, the mother of the witness and her boyfriend had heard something lurking in the woods near the house that ran away when they tore up some cardboard to feel a fire. Their opinion was that the sounds created as it ran were bipedal and indicated significant

weight. A few minutes after hearing it run away the couple heard a loud howling sound. The witness stated he had joked with the boyfriend about howling a howling bigfoot up until the night he heard the howling and had the sighting a few minutes later. What? Who jokes about a howling bigfoot? Then sees a howling bigfoot. I've never even heard of a howling bigfoot. I don't know, suspicious.

Initially, the witness thought he was observing a telephone pole along the road as he left his mother's home. He described what he saw as being the color of a heavily creasoted pole. He approached it for an estimated five to 10 seconds at a distance of approximately 25 feet of a heavily creosoted pole. He approached it for an estimated 5 to 10 seconds. At a distance of approximately 25 feet,

the creature jumped off a four-footed embankment, ran across the road in three or four steps. He further stated that he nearly collided with it, as it was as close to 10 feet from the front of his Jeep. It was illuminated by high beam headlights during the encounter, and he did get a good look at it and profile, and then slightly from the rear. He estimated that 5 seconds elapsed between when it jumped and when it disappeared into

a field on the other side of the road. Its vehicle speed during the encounter approximately 35-40 mph. The road is a typical rural road in Ohio, 12-14 feet wide in pavement, with gravel shoulders to allow cars to pull off enough to pass each other. JW described the creature as being a very dirty, dark brown, almost black color. In profile, he did not have a stout in the head flow directly onto the shoulders, chest with no neck evident. He described the hair as coarse and similar to an air-dail's coat.

His estimate of the height was 7 feet, and weighed in excess of 300 pounds. The head had a conical quality to it, but it was rounded at the very top. Describe the posture as that of a big muscular man with a back problem as it ran over leaning forward. He observed the arms bent and pumping, and clearly see that it had hands and fingers, although the angle of observation only allowed him to see the top of the hands, which were hair covered.

The witness says that the animal did not look at his Jeep during the encounter and did not see facial features or eye shine. Why would this thing look at his Jeep? Or like why wouldn't it? That's kind of weird to me. Like what kind of creature runs next to the Jeep but doesn't look at the fucking Jeep

and posture of a large muscular man with back problems? I actually love that. That does paint a solid picture in my mind. Goes on a little bit more. His initial reaction was one of disbelief as to what he had observed. When he returned home, his wife stated he was visibly agitated. He immediately called his mother and told it to be sure

that she locked the doors. He said her boyfriend mentioned that he should check the BRFO sounds page and he stated that HALS, there, were very similar. He decided to submit his report if listening to those sounds and completed the report during the same visit. Okay, so mom's boyfriend, regular on the Ohio Bigfoot Research Organization website. So that's why he was talking about a howling big fit earlier and you know really obviously wanted to see one. Okay, let's see what's out in here. The area of the siding is near a small city but is rural in nature with rolling hills,

pastures, crop fields and woodlots. There's a pond and a small creek adjacent to the site of the encounter. This area is located south of a cluster of reports and the BRFO database, database, including the Manurva Monster Incidents. Discussion and arrangements to do an on-site investigation are proceeding with the goal of having access to the property, hopefully in the next two weeks. For a number of reasons, I found this witness credible. I don't. I find the witness to be a guy who wanted to see Howling Bigfoot, so we could have a cool

story to share with mom's boyfriend who was interested in howling fucking big feats big, big footuses. Who is Stephen P. according to BFRO their website, a chief administrative officer of a unit of local government, a consultant and community faculty member? 1982 now moving on to more stories of brown, not lights. Morganton resident, Tommy Hunter said he actually touched the lights at the highway, one, anyone overlook. They looked over the edge, saw a ball of light hovering, touched it.

Tommy said it felt like his, stuck his finger in a light socket. Six other people with Tommy, all corroborated his story. As shared on scared of death, this experience maybe could be attributed to a phenomenon called ball lightning. But I don't know. No one ever reaches out and touches ball lightning. Stories of the brown mountain lights, they do legitimately weird me out. Now I'm moving up to the summer of 1987, the Pope, lick monster. Good name. Stories that existed before this year, but this was the first year the Pope, lick monster got

some media attention. I first read that name is poll liquor monster. Okay. What's that say about me? According to those who report encounters with it, the public monster, legendary part man, part goat, maybe part sheep creature reported to live beneath the Norfolk Southern railroad trussle over Floyd's fork creek. In the fishery area near Lueville, Kentucky, that's powerful for recovered goat legs,

alabaster skin face. With an oculin nose, that is a human nose with the prominent bridge given that the appearance of being curved or slightly bent and wide set eyes. of astroskin face. With an oculin nose, that is a human nose with the prominent bridge, given that the appearance of being curved or slightly bent and wide set eyes. Short, sharp horns protrude from the forehead, nestled in long greasy hair that matches the color of the fur on its legs. While these monsters always have that greasy hair, why can't I have nice silky clean looking hair? According to some accounts, this creature uses either hypnosis or voice mimicry to lure trespassers to the trestle, to meet their death before an oncoming train.

That's a very specific way for this fucking goat beast to kill people. Other stories claim the monster jumps down from the trestle on the roofs of cars passing beneath it. Still, other legends state that it attacks its victims directly with a blood-stained axe. Hmm, axe variation, very different to luring people to the trains by tricking them. Also said to the very side of this creature, so unsettling that those who see it

while walking across the high-trends will bridge will just leap off. So how did this strange creature come to be? One explanation is that it was simply a human goat hybrid. That's all. Someone with a weak pullout game, fuck the goat, had a goat baby. And then it grew up to be a circus freak who vowed revenge after it was mistreated. So I'm

gonna say that's probably folklore. I'm pretty sure I would have covered this thing in the PT Barnum Suck if it would have actually worked in circus. This creature escaped after a train to railed on the public trestle. It's been nervous since. Another version claims that the monster is the twisted reincarnation of a farmer who sacrificed goats in exchange for satanic powers. Okay. So both origin stories, you know, pretty credible. It would be the Pope lick train trestle that would become the site of a very real tragedy in the summer of 1987, perhaps because of this folklore, sadly possible, possibly Jesus

Christ. And part due to the legend of this monster, the train tracks became a spot where teens and young adults started to do bravery tests to show that they're not scared of the monster. And then numerous kids have died doing this. In the summer of 87, a young boy fell to his death from the trestle after evading an oncoming train, 1988, 17 year old boy, a man, I guess, a young man killed a hit and killed by a train. 2019 year old fell to his death. After trying to get away from a train, April 23rd, 2016, 26 year old tourists from Ohio died after being hit by a train while searching for this monster.

Her boyfriend survived by hanging onto the side of the trussle. Just over three years later, May 26th, 2019, Savannah Bright, 15 pronounced dead of the scene after she had another teenage girl on the tracks near the Pope, Lake Trussle, Savannah Bright, 15 pronounced out of the scene after she had another teenage girl on the tracks near the Pope, Lake Tressel, possibly looking for this monster. If you go cryptid hunting, be careful out there. Maybe just say the hell off of Tressel. Has a fucking daily train service on it. Now let's move to South Carolina, meet another monster.

In the wee dark hours the morning, Juneth, 1988, teenage boy named Christopher Davis driving home from work when he blows a tire along the edge of scape or swamp near Bishopville. It's out of the car to change the tire when he hears the sound like someone running, getting louder and louder. Suddenly, from the darkness, it emerges blazing red eyes, green, scaly skin, long black claws on three fingers, staggering seven feet tall, Thomas fucking foley still alive, still mutating, getting stronger. No, the boy jumped into his car for safety, then the creature attacked the car, ripping

off the mirror, gouging the roof of the vehicle before being able to speed away. Just two weeks later, another odd vehicle attacked police or odd vehicle attack police were called to the scene of some vandalism car not far from the swamp They've been attacked in the night fenders ripped off antenna bent deep scratches along the body Chrome trim chewed off seemingly Over the course of summer several more cars in the vicinity of scape Yes, scape scape or swamp a Legally brutally attacked and chewed on more people reported seen an enormous scaly green man lurking in the woods and swamps

More people report to see an enormous scaly green man lurking in the woods and swamps Please recall it out sheriff made plaster Cassie enormous three-toed footprints left behind in the thick swamp mud Thought about calling the FBI, but then thought now the price fucking laugh at us Then is the cooler days and nights of fall approached no more tax local thought maybe The ceasing of attacks that something to do with the creature's scaly skin and cold blooded nature because they thought it was a lizard man. And sightings have continued if the lizard man ever since, say sources on websites that are sketchiest fuck. And there's been a smattering of automobile mollins always within the vicinity of swamps near

Bishopville. Okay, let's move on now to a probably definitely real cryptid, right? This one's just, it sounds real. Sheep squash. If you want to be taken seriously in the world of the paranormal, you'd have talked nonstop about sheep squaches. One night in the early 90s, carful of women making their way home after a family reunion near the TNT area, your point pleasant West Virginia. Stone on the ground, they crunched along the treacherous roads, you know, just a few miles an hour, and that's when it steps out of the woods, mother fucking sheep

squash. Witnesses described as being seven to eight feet tall, covered in shaggy white hair You know, just a few miles an hour and that's when it steps out of the woods mother fucking sheep's quatch When this is described as being seven to eight feet tall covered in shaggy white hair with the legs like a man Describe the face is looking like a sheep face having horns like a ram Sheep's quatch froze when it spotted the car than bolted into the woods Taking a cue from the mysterious beast the women also high-tailed it out out of their fast as their wintry conditions would allow them. So what is sheep squatch? Let's hear its epic origin story. Sheep squatch was once Nathan Campbell, ordinary taxidermist working in point pleasant.

While stuffing a sheep late one night, lightning hit his shop at the exact moment. He was bitten by a rowing oak reekloops. And the electrical charge combined with a spider's venom, combined with a little bit of chowage, mutated Nathan's DNA, blending it with the sheep, turning him into something new. Still mostly a man but sheepier,

not as smart, able to live outside longer, a lot more wool, hornear, strong hankering for grass and weeds, prone to follow anyone around him with any basic leadership charisma. Nathan Campbell died that night, and sheep man was born! Or sheep squash has no known backstory. Uh, bar, bummer. Uh, January 12th, 2016, devil monkey.

Fucking back bitches. He's left Appalachia. An anonymous witness claimed that he and his family entered the Chicago home to discover that he uh, uh, uh, uh, uh, discovered what he asserted was a devil-like creature violently attacking his six-year-old laboratory dog. The man further described this piece as being an unusual combination of monkey, wolf, and devil. Long things, monkey-like tail, extremely bright glowing eyes.

Man claimed that he remained calm enough to grab a nearby camera and snap a photo of the allegedly diabolical fiend, apparently the fucking carabas dog get attacked. After the flashballs burst, this creature reportedly sprang to its hind legs and ran, nearly pushing over this lucky fellow in his family in an effort to escape to the open door behind them. So where is the photo? Um, well, uh, funny, should ask, he has it, he definitely has it, he's waiting for the right, uh, it's still a little ab and he, he's gonna, listen, he's gonna have it, he's gonna get to, let's move on to the next date. Back to Bigfoot type creatures.

2008 video appeared on YouTube. That would quickly become known as the Pennsylvania White Bigfoot Clip that I can't fucking find anywhere. So I'm guessing it's not awesome evidence. But in July, 2008 local news station, Pennsylvania runs a story which talked about the white possibly a vinyl creature after receiving an anonymous email.

It was said to be some sort of animal about six to seven feet tall covered in an all white fur. The email specifically mentioned a wooded area in carbon Dale, your mine reclamation site. 2010 more people began to report sightings of a white juvenile bigfoot in carbon daily. Not just a red, not a dope bigfoot, like a teen bigfoot. Homeowners began to hear strange noises and disturbances in the woods. Things probably fucking are beaten off or something.

One case an unidentified man witnessed movement in his backyard was able to capture some bizarre video footage for one full second. The man filmed a large white creature that resembled the shape of Bigfoot. In the video, as the man's camera hits the creature's face, it quickly moves away. And while it would be easy to say that it was just someone wearing a Bigfoot costume, commentators have said that the creature's body proportions are extremely large, which is not something fake easily according to them. According to the source we found for the story, the creature also has a defined brow ridge,

coned head, hooded nose. The shoulders are extremely high, the arms are long, most importantly, the video shows the object's face contorting as it runs away, which suggests that it may not be a mask. But then I watched this video that they linked to and the description does not match it. It is 1000% for sure a fucking dude in a mask that is not even a good mask. God damn it, guys, come on. I know you want to see it, but Jesus Christ, despite only shitty evidence like this, belief

in the Pennsylvania white bigfoot continues with many believing it is simply a sass quatch that has aged. Does this human hair become gray and white is a purchase gets older so as it is for the Squatch? Fresh evidence of the lizard man would come out in 2015. It was in the form of a photograph the creature taken by a woman with her cell phone as she left church and I have examined this photograph and it is for sure a dude in a fucking shitty cheap lizard suit.

Get out of here. And I will continue with more recent Appalachian cryptid side and stories from the past few years, but or I would continue sorry, but all the ones we found, they fucking suck in the last couple of years. So let's get out the timeline and look at a couple more that are at least entertaining. of the soldier, you made it back barely. Have you heard of the recent cryptid to take over TikTok? Have you heard of the Appalachian not deer? Seriously, that's his name, not deer.

No one really knows what these things are. They're just definitely not deer, at least according to supposed sightings. Many people have had incidents where they've found that their paths are crossing with a dearish type thing, maybe walking through the woods, driving home at night, at first, they think, yeah, this is a dear. Then on second glance, they're like, I don't know. It looks like a lot like a dear, but not exactly like a dear.

It sounds like we'll see if the proportions are off. Others say that there are maybe too many joints, or not enough enough joints in the legs that would normally be in a deer. In a couple of different cases, some form of not deer said, you know, have, you know, the wrong number of fucking hind legs or maybe arms with hands and place in the front legs. On TikTok, as of last night before recording this the hashtag not dear currently sitting at 73.5 million views. I watched a few of these videos and I wish I could have those few minutes of my life back. People claiming to see not dear from what I can tell are people fucking too dumb to understand what goddamn dear looks like.

Every single not dear I looked at I was like, yeah, that's a fucking fucking that's a deer. Excuse me David and your children are here again go gris are you mad at me for just not taking a lot of these sightings seriously especially the not dear. Now none of it only actually I wanted to take a moment to just tell all the idiots to take talking about not dear to just knock it the hell off. No one is ever going to take our cryptid claims seriously. If people are mudding up the water with a bunch of bullshit, pardon my French, not dear talk. You not dear believers are making the world and win with people look legit. So what should the not dear folk do David? You know, it's like I always tell a cryptid newbies

to ever be taken seriously for for cryptid proof we must watch please don't act to mysteriously let's focus on catching a squad that that's nice to ask you i like it but thank you very much uh... he'll never end up you know guilt and another another pleasant tells us a few

uh... now let me explain what these not deer actually are. Most popular explanation for not deer, you know, obviously, first off, is just fucking regular deer that people who don't understand deer, don't understand how to identify. But also, it's a deer with this, and I've seen deer like this, and it is sad, CWD chronic wasting disease.

According to the CDC, deer with chronic wasting disease may exhibit drastic weight loss, you know, wasting, stumbling, listlessness, other neurologic symptoms, decreased interactions with other animals, lowering of the head, blank facial expression, repetitive walking in circles, or other set patterns. Excessive salivation, drooling, grinding of the teeth also observed. It is a fucking bummer.

See these, dear, when they get this. According to biologists, outbreaks of the disease tend to occur every few years, such conditions could create the perfect opportunity for repeated sightings of bizarre or strange deer over time. Not deer stories, you know, just misidentification of deer. And sometimes you know, also urban legends told you know, just for people's amusement, which I get, that's fine.

One more spear finger, that's a fucking great name. This cryptid is more like an entity comes from a Cherokee legend Which makes it appropriate to tell and a little homage to the Cherokee who once called the Appalachian Mountains their home According to legend spear finger a shape shifting witch with stone skin long obsidian spear in place of one of the fingers on a right hand Stone skin in a spear finger fuck yeah Immediately in the running for coolest creature this episode definitely included than sheep's watch a whirling whimpers and not dear spear finger roamed the mountains between what would become North Carolina in Tennessee and they say even though the Cherokee caught and destroyed her You can still her hear her ghost shrieks and cackles to the mountain night

spear finger had a taste for human livers especially those belonging to Cherokee children eek So parents use a legend the spear finger to warn children to stay close to the village. Yeah, one of these tales. In the autumn, the Cherokee tribe would burn brush fires to clear the land so they could find fallen chestnuts for the winter. But spear finger would use these fires to locate their village. So we'd come in the guys of an old woman, fooling Cherokee children into trusting her because she appeared to be a village elder.

She would offer to brush their hair until they fell asleep, then she would stab them with their finger through the back of their neck or heart and then eat their liver, giving her mouth its distinctive red color, the scary monster. She had a song that she would sing and she moved the mountains with her raven friend. I eat it, I eat it, that's the words. I'm guessing that phrase flows better narratively, you know, songwise in the original Cherokee. So she most often appeared as an old lady. She could be anything she wanted, another child, a friend, an animal, maybe Thomas Foley. And because she was made of stone, no weapon forged by a man could stop her. Her only weakness was her heart, which she carried in her hand for protection, interesting.

Her enemy, Stone Man, also ate livers. Lot of fucking livery back then. And he wasn't helpful to the Cherokee either. She and Stone Man had powers to move rocks and boulders. And once spearfinger created a great rock bridge through the air to travel from mountain to mountain, angering higher beans who destroyed it with lightning. The remnants of the bridge remained visible today

near her hunting ground of white side in Jackson County, North Carolina, which is far to the south close to the Georgia border. The owner's thunder mountain, Whiteside offers some of the highest sheer cliffs in the Appalachian range. Eventually, Cherokee set a trap for Spirifinger, dig it a deep pit disguised with leaves and sticks so she'd fall into it. Then they set a fire to attract the mountain, which is attention. Soon, an elderly woman came along the trail fell into the pit, revealing herself to be the witch. The Cherokee warriors arrows, however, had no effect on the stone skin witch who taunted them with her liver eating song, right?

Remember that classic diddy? Lever, I eat it. Lever, I eat it. I love how detailed and fucking weird this story is. Eventually, a titmouse came and a hunter's to aim for her heart. And then the hunter's not knowing the witch carried her heart in her hand, aim for her chest with a little impact when that didn't work. The hunter's caught the tit mouse and caught off its fucking tongue. And Cherokee folktales, the tit mouse forever associated with line now.

Fucking tit mice. You can't trust him. Finally, a chickadee came, landed on spear fingers hand, showing the hunters where she held her heart. The hunter severed her heart from her hand, killed the witch, earning the chickadee a better reputation among the Cherokee. As a truth teller, always trust the chickadee, never trust tit mice. Got it. It's a very helpful story. Now, according to Cherokee legend, the bird purchased near loved ones home while they're

away, you can expect a safe and happy return to the traveler. But the titmouse showsfucking all bets are off. Cherokee eventually conquered Stoneman as well. Stoneman could not bear the sight of a menstruating woman apparently. Okay? According to legend, the sight of seven menstruating women would kill him. I get it. I mean, that's a lot of menstruating women to see all at once.

The Cherokee arranged seven women along the trail were stone men and the guys of an old man would come by the second woman. Stoneman was vomiting blood. He really hated menstruating by the seventh. He'd fallen weak. The medicine man then pinned him to the ground built a great fire over him. Stoneman called for a bear and deer and all the animals of the mountains, but eventually succumbed to the burning pile before they could get there to save him.

Now apparently you can hear his cries echoing through the mountains at night as well. So there you go. That story was a nice reminder that we've come a long ways of the species when it comes to storytelling abilities. That was a bunch of fucking crazy gibberish. I mean, it was interesting, but if that was Stephen King's latest story,

I would fucking throw it in the trash. And I would accept that he'd finally run out of good tales to tell. Appalachians, Appalachians, cryptids, real? Fake. Let's recap all this insanity right now. Appalachian cryptids, holy moly, they're just so many of them. And if you want to hear about even more, well, watch Mountain Monsters, I guess they have loads of episodes about creatures with even less evidence of their existence surrounding them than the ones I mentioned, the Wampus Beast, the lizard demon of Wood County, the Yahoo of Nicholas County, Hellhound to Pike

County, graft and monster, werewolf, a Webster County. Apparently, every county has a monster, the death cat, hogzilla, so many different squaches, the black wolf, woman of the woods, the little girl. Seriously, that's a recent episode. One entity just called the little girl. They're running out. They're running out of cryptids to talk about, I think. Next season, I think the entire season should be dedicated to the immortal wild man of Thomas Foley. There are a lot of these supposed creatures. Some

say, uh, something there's too many of these supposed creatures in Appalachia. Like if there's so many species running around, you know, uh, why wouldn't we have any evidence by now? Some photographs, people could actually share with the world some actual cases where they've been, uh, you know, trapped, not just fake trapped, like on mountain monsters. I don't know, are they real? Probably not. At least 99% probably not.

Couple stories though, they could be real. I mean, why not? That's exciting. And the ones that are fake, well they make for some good free entertainment, don't they? They make the world more interesting. Their stories make Appalachia more interesting. And it's already a very interesting place.

The history of Appalachia's crypt has started back before European arrival with Cherokee, other Native American folk legends. When German immigrants arrived in the area in the 1730s, they named some mysterious entities they thought they saw the Schneller Geists, quick spirits. Those spirits would eventually become known as the Hoochstrand-Snellagaster. Remember those mysterious apparitions at Chimney Rock in 1806, which locals interpreted as, you know, seeing a play by play of the American Revolution, taking place in the clouds. It's fucking tiny horses, so weird.

Then the 1850s held the bell buzzard. A buzzard with the bell on the snake. That was a very successful prank. Next there were reports of wild men in Appalachia. It felt the second half of the 19th century that were probably just mentally ill guys living on the woods or Thomas Foley's sideings or maybe some genuine squat sideings thrown in there. But I doubt it. Where are the bodies? The legend of the Snelli Gaster surged during prohibition and faded when it was over. Real cryptid or way to keep people away from a moonshine stills. The whirlin' wimpus showed up in the early 20th century as a way to explain loggers disappearing

in the woods. And if anyone proved that thing is real, I'll fucking cut my own dick off on video. The squawk, not sure why the squawk showed up. So sad, so sad, come on, cheer up, everybody. In the 1950s, the first sighting, the flatwoods monster occurred. And then sighting is devil monkeys, all kinds of sass squatch. You could ever imagine the goat man, the devil dog came next,

the sheep squatched, lizard man, grass man, the Pope lick monster. So many more by night by 2017, people in South Carolina weren't about lizard men and lizard people are not real. There are no space lizards controlling anything. Definitely not this show. Uh-uh. Hmm. I got staying tight now for today's top five takeaways. Time, suck, top five takeaways. Take aways. Number one, Appalachia is full of supposed cryptids. All sorts of varieties of bigfoot, to the sheep's watch, to the saligaster, to the

whirling whimpers, and more. No end to what people have reported seeing in the mountains and valleys of Appalachia. Number two, Appalachia is a diverse and fascinating region. Look at you, popcorn and gym, Tom. Combining elements of Scotch, Irish, German, Scandinavian, and African culture, but mostly Scotch, Irish, hillbilly culture with Alapal, Appalachia's relative isolation from the rest of the country is led to a unique culture.

They can be seen in everything from its folklore, to music, to cooking, and of course, cryptids. Number three, the banjo. While its popularity does come from Appalachia, the actual original instrument comes from Africa. Number four, Apple banjo, while its popularity does come from Appalachia, the actual original instrument comes from Africa. Number four, apple, lachia. That is the primary and most correct pronunciation. Appalachia, mostly for northern Appalachians and outsiders like me.

Number five, new info in August of 2017, a wandering shaman mistaken for yet another cryptid yet another variety of Appalachian Bigfoot North Carolina. This Bigfoot siding happened on Friday, August 4th in the Appalachian Mountains. And while not a cryptid siding story, we're sharing because how weird it is. Gowon McGregor said he was participating in a sacrament of wearing of hair covered animal skins and wandering in the forest. Mm-hmm. As one does, when a group of hikers came across skins and wandering in the forest. As one does, when a group of hikers came across him

and thought they'd run into Bigfoot, and McGregor believes in Bigfoot just as much as the hikers he came across. Of course he does. The 36 year old McGregor, who was on vacation from Minnesota, writes on his blog about his personal belief in Bigfoot or the divine nature of Sasquatch, as he phrases it.

He writes that by dressing in stone animal skins and by reciting a Sasquatch prayer, he is not insane at all. He has had by he writes that by dressing in stone animal skins and by reciting a sasquatch prayer, he is not insane at all. He has had several encounters with the beast. After seeing the sighting report on the news, he felt obliged as an honest citizen to come forward and tell the world this big foot, uh, sighting was not real. This is just a ordinary wandering bigfoot, Sean, man. Just a little bit of a pelt sacrament. McGregor of course, his name is Scottish, says, if someone caused you to have an experience

that meant something to you, but wasn't genuine, wouldn't you want to tell you? All right, he's a weird guy, but he's got integrity. Before he came forward, but after his sighting, police and neighbor in South Carolina, were advising citizens not to shoot any big feet or big foots. No one can agree on how to say the plural version.

Since you'll most likely be found be wounding a fun, laughing, and well-intentioned person, sweating in a gorilla costume. Noise. Solid advice. Let's get out of here. Time, suck. Top five takeaways. Appalachian, Krypton's has been sucked.

Fuck yeah. Oh, buddy. Hope you enjoyed learning more good bad just to push them out in monsters. I did Thanks for listening to show all of you who do a week after week spread the suck family strangers friends co-workers total strangers as well appreciate it appreciate keeping this all going Thanks to bad magic the production team for helping and making time suck every week Queen of bad magic Lindsey Cumm, Reverend Dr. Joe Paisley, Sophie the fact source for his Evans, fucking killing it again with the research this week.

Thanks to Bit Alexa for keeping the time suck app running smooth, Logan the art warlock Keith, our creative director. Create all the Merch of bad magic merch.com. Run on the social with Lizzy and Chantras Hernandez. We'll also run our cult of the curious Facebook to private Facebook page. Along with a wonderful all-seeing eyes moderators. Thank you, Liz. Thanks to beef steak and the Mod Squad,

keeping meatsack's happy on Discord. Next week, something inspirational, as is our time-stuck tradition for the last suck of the year. Been a truly trying year for many, harder than 2020. A lot of small businesses folded, for example, a lot of people experiencing extra financial hardships due to extended lockdown, supply chain problems problems caused by both COVID, varying governmental reactions to COVID, a lot more cultural tension than we've experienced in many years in the US, a lot of division out there.

So let's jump into the story of someone who lived through a much more trying time, much more divisive time, overcame a lot more than just about almost anyone today. Someone who's live story is A, interesting his hell and be inspiring. Well, and I'll share more personal information about what we've been doing here at the end of the episode, little year end review. So the topic is Robert Smalls. In the midst of the Civil War, Robert Smalls,

a black, a slave, a dude, commandeered a Confederate ship, delivered at 16 black men, women and children, pastures from slavery to freedom, to Congress. Robert Smalls, uh, and he, and then he to freedom to Congress. Robert Smalls, he he and then he made it to Congress. Robert Smalls a born into slavery in Beaufort, South Carolina, Bufert, Scarlet sorry, April 5th 1839 grew up enslaved. After the Civil War broke out, he was assigned to the planter, a Confederate military cargo transport ship. Smalls, Smalls piloted the planter around Charleston Harbor, gained the confidence and trust of the three white officers, knowing the crew trusted him.

It was black crew members, smalls devised a plan of escape. One night when the officers left to sleep, a shore, smalls in the crew took the ship, smalls piloted the ship out of the harbor, surrendered to planter and his cargo to the Union Navy, and then volunteered his knowledge of Charleston's defenses, leading to the capture of Cole's island a week after his escape. Rear Admiral Samuel Francis DuPont wrote that Robert is superior to any we've come across in our lines intelligent as many of them have been. The people of the North celebrated Smalls and his crew, Congress awarded them half the

value of the planter as prize money. Smalls traveled to Washington to meet with President Lincoln or he helped persuade Lincoln to permit black men to serve for the Union Army. So now for the meeting, Secretary War Edwin Stend or at 5,000 former slaves to fight for the Union. Out towards Smalls became the pilot of a Union ship, the USS Crusader, later Captain of the planter became the first Black man to be promoted to Captain 1897 by an act of Congress granted a pension equal to that of a Navy captain.

Even though there was some, yeah, commission stuff, we'll get into later. After the war, Smalls returned to his native Buifert, bought his former master's home, fuck yeah, these earlier by Union tax authorities. In 1868, Smalls elected to the South Carolina House of Representatives. Later to the South Carolina Senate, 1874, elected to the U.S. House of Representatives. As a member of Congress, he fought against a disenfranchisement of black voters across the South. Representative South Carolina's fifth congressional district from 1875 to 1879.

And again, from 1882 to 1883, served as a South Carolina's seventh and seventh served in South Carolina's seventh congressional district again. 1884 to 1887 and the 1890s was offered a U.S. Army Kernel's Commission in the Spanish-American War and the post of U.S. minister to Liberia, but turned down both offers. And then in 1915, he would die at the age of 75 from diabetes. Smalls died as the South was to recreate a new form of slavery through the black codes and Jim Crow laws. Despite this, Smalls refused to engage in pessimism, telling the South Carolina legislature,

my race needs no special defense for the past history of them in this country, proves them to be the equal of any people anywhere All they need is an equal chance in the battle of life Let's hear about his struggles is victories next week a lot more to his life I look forward to sharing with you right now time for this week's time sucker updates I'm gonna kick things off this week with a fucking crazy Cana Barbie Killer's update from Ontario Super Sucker Haley Moore. It's a little sucker, master of reading from Cana Day. I just finished listening to the Cana Barbie Killer's episode and I wanted to reach out

and tell you my little slice of the Paul and Carlos Saga. Saga, excuse me. When I was about eight or nine years old, my mom and I lived alone in a city not too far from Scarborough, Ontario. One night, while my mother sat in our living room watching TV in the dark, she heard a man cough from outside.

When she turned her head toward the full length floor to ceiling window, she saw a man standing outside looking in with his dick in his hand, holy shit. Immediately she stood up, screamed at the pervert, told him she was calling the cops. The guy obviously took off running my mom followed through on her promise called the police to file a report. My mom happens to be a very talented artist. So when the cops came to the house, she offered to make a sketch of the guy.

They took the drawing, thanked her for the info and left. And we never heard much more from them. Now jump ahead a couple years and there's a rapist on the loose who's been dubbed the Scarborough Rapist. A victim of this discussion creep also provided a description to the police who created a sketch and wouldn't you know it? It was the same face my mom saw

looking in at her from outside our house that night years early, that is terrifying. As we know, the Scarborough Rapist turned out to be Paul Bernardo. So we had a two-close encounter with one of Canada's most reviled and heinous murders. My uncle who worked for Canada CIA, known as CSIS, ended up using my mom's sketch of Bernardo

as a teaching tool for many years afterwards, helping to train future investigators on the importance of eyewitness accounts and facial recognition tools. Thank goodness we were only casually involved in this piece of shit's crimes-free. As an aside, Carla Humolka ended up living with a relative at a senior's residence in my hometown after she was freed from jail.

Holy cow. And we would occasionally see her around. They should have both been locked away for the rest of lives, allowed to rot. How she was allowed her freedom is beyond me. Obviously, both die painful and prolonged deaths. Any who thanks for taking the time to read this story. Thanks for the hours and hours of enthralling entertainment. I don't know how I'd get to my Mondays without it.

Keep on sucking. Cheers, Haley. Thank you, Haley. That's fucking crazy that your mom had that encounter. I mean, how terrifying and also how lucky she was to see him before it was too late. And I wonder if that was like during his peeping phase when he was building up to rape, but maybe hadn't quite committed rapes yet, at least not of strangers,

as we talked about in that episode. God, what a fucking piece of shit. Next up, a crazy Menenda Suck related message from another sucker who had a brush of sorts with a killer. Johnny Sorado, right? Greetings all mighty leader, master sucker. It's the OG satanic Hispanic, faithful sucker and longtime listers. Losing the episode of the Menendez Brothers and

love that is usual. I heard the part where you mentioned it was very rare for a child to kill both his parents. I agree with you. What figured was finally time to write in and share my story with you. The date was June 2011 in a small town in Florida called Pornth Port St. Lucy. I was junior in high school at the time. Bloody of mine got invited to a party asked if I wanted to tag along and I agreed. The person throwing the party was a kid named Tyler Hadley who went to my high school. There was about 50 kids at the party and when we arrived drinking, smoking, there was a kid uh, or two on the living room desktop computer playing music. Uh, remember that detail.

Everyone was having a good time but what everyone didn't know was that hours before living room desktop computer playing music. Uh, remember that detail. Everyone was having a good time, but what everyone didn't know was that hours before Tyler had brutally murdered both his mom and dad with a fucking hammer. Crazy shit, right? According to the trail, uh, according to the trials, she'd be Tyler stood behind his mom while she was sitting at the computer. Yes, the same computer party goers were playing music on with a hammered his hand for 10 minutes or so contemplating killing her. Finally, he playing music on with a hammered his hand for 10 minutes or so

contemplating killing her. Finally, he started beating her with a hammer. It would Tyler was asking court-wise mom stopped fighting back. He said because she loved me. Oh my god. Tyler's dad ran out of the bedroom and see what the commotion was and stood in shock to see his once beloved son. What are you done to his mother? Tyler then went after his dad killed him as well with the hammer, dragged their bodies in the master bedroom, piled a bunch of shit on top of him, cleaned up the bloody mess for three hours, then proceeded to post on Facebook his parents right at town, and he was throwing a party. I remember actually sitting on the couch when Tyler with Tyler, asking him hypothetically what his parents would do if they came home and saw a party was going on. He calmly replied, went out of town with a neighbor and flew, which is why both her vehicles are still in the driveway.

Tyler ended up telling his best friend, Mike, what he did. He then left the party early. Mike did called the police to inform them, Tyler had killed his parents. He now sits in prison in the Okachobi, Florida, or an Okachobi, Florida, where he'll spend the rest of his sorry life, hopefully forever. It's a very freaky shit.

A day I'll remember for the rest of my life, hope you like my story that you'd find it interesting. Thanks for all you do and for making my work days a bit more bearable. If you happen to read this, if you can give a shout out to my sexy goddess of a wife, Caitlin Hayler's Athena. And my fucking crazy, but I love him to death, son, Lil Johnny.

Well, shout out to Lil Johnny and Caitlin. And wow, man, I looked up, uh, this, this story, Johnny. And yeah, that's crazy. That's crazy that you and Joe Paisley, both new people who fucking killed their parents in high school, because it is so rare. Wow. Uh, now a painful and poignant message from a wonderful sucker in another victim of the opioid epidemic, Eric Cypill, this kick ass sack rights writes, hello master of all that is suck riding in about the opioid epidemic episode. I've listened a couple times now since this subject hits home for me.

Back in June, my father passed away from an OD of prescription opioids. I really love your presentation of everything. The most depressing part is that my kids, 13, 5 and 3, will not be able to grow with their grandfather. My dad had a history of abuse and addiction problems, which he told me he was clean up a week before he died.

And he wasn't wrong. A man with a history of addiction was prescribed strong opioids for a bad back he had from years construction. And fortunately, his demons came back. I don't blame him or even his doctors. It's just a tragic outcome and a casualty of this epidemic. If you do happen to read this on the air, I just want to say to anyone listening that has or knows someone with an addiction problem, get help. It's not a sign of weakness.

Nobody will think less of you. If anything takes a strong individual to admit they need help and then go get it. You always have more people in your corner than you realize. I would have done anything to help my dad with his problems, but sadly, he tried to tackle it himself. Thank you again, Dan. Keep doing what you're doing and spreading the suck. Well, thank you, Eric. And man, yeah, sorry for your, for your tragic loss. And I appreciate you sending in that message because it's gonna be more powerful coming from you

with what you've experienced than it would be coming from me. I appreciate it. And a lot of other people will as well. Finally, a little cool little message. I found inspiring, and also it just made me happy. Re-invigorated sucker. Abigail Lynn writes, I just wanted

to pass on how wonderfully educational and enjoyable the show has been over the years. I've been with TimeSug since a colligial episode with the Jimmy's. Yeah, for Small Time Order and Crime and Sports with guest stars, guest stars. They were my first podcast. This was my second. Love all the bad magic shows. The content here really makes my ear holes happy. I write because reigniting my love for learning, really inspired me to go back to college. For the third time since enrollment, I have now used an episode of TimeSuck

as an academic reference. And I wanted you to know that your content is considered not only reliable, but enjoyable by the professors that I've shared it with. That is fucking awesome. I love that you're able to use this self as a source. I love that we do post the show notes with all the sources on the TimeSuck suck app where you can download the PDF.

And yeah, use it for school. I mean, you know, take the fucking hours and hours of research we do here and haven't helped cut down some hours on your end. Why not? And I love that this is reinvigorated. Your thirst for knowledge, it made you go back to school. I hope you kick so much ass Abigail Lynn. Great name by the way. And just you and everyone else, keep on sucking. Thanks, time suckers. I need a net. We all did. Thanks again for listening to another Bad Magic Productions podcast, Meet Sex. Happy holidays. Right? Remember that? Or listen to earlier? The BABBA BLUEOW!

Uh-huh? Uh-huh? How does that not put you in a holiday mood? If you see us gwomp this week, please tell us how cute it is! Get that sad of you little fucker of hug for a crisis of death and keep on sucking! Tuyệt Đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng đừng