Timesuck with Dan Cummins - 276 - Robert MF'n Smalls and Year End Recap

Episode Date: December 27, 2021

Robert Smalls! He was born a slave in Beaufort, South Carolina  in 1839. Then he'd pull off a daring sea-faring escape to the Union during the Civil War, then become the first black captain for the Union, then becoming a member of the US House of Representatives. He would die in the house he was born in - his former slave master's - a house he bought after the Civil War. His story is one of perseverance and grit - of refusing to quit no mater how the odds are stacked against you. After his story, I share my current state of mind as I reflect back on the kind of year 2021 was, and then look forward to 2022. Thanks for the ride, meatsacks! Hail Nimrod! Thanks one last time for allowing the 2021 Bad Magic Giving Tree to be such a success! We raised $49,000 through a combination of Patreon, fan, and personal donation. And now 198 children are going to receive the presents they would have otherwise never received. Nimrod is very fucking pleased. :)Watch the Suck on YouTube:  https://youtu.be/wHlI9_qiQgEMerch - https://badmagicmerch.com/  Discord! https://discord.gg/tqzH89vWant to join the Cult of the Curious private Facebook Group? Go directly to Facebook and search for "Cult of the Curious" in order to locate whatever happens to be our most current page :)For all merch related questions/problems: [e-mail] (copy and paste)Please rate and subscribe on iTunes and elsewhere and follow the suck on social media!! @timesuckpodcast on IG and http://www.facebook.com/timesuckpodcastWanna become a Space Lizard? We're over 10,000 strong! Click here: https://www.patreon.com/timesuckpodcastSign up through Patreon and for $5 a month you get to listen to the Secret Suck, which will drop Thursdays at Noon, PST. You'll also get 20% off of all regular Timesuck merch PLUS access to exclusive Space Lizard merch. You get to vote on two Monday topics each month via the app. And you get the download link for my new comedy album, Feel the Heat. Check the Patreon posts to find out how to download the new album and take advantage of other benefits

Robert Smalls, that is the marvelous man we'll be talking about today for the first part of this episode anyway. Robert was a hero of the American Civil War, a union navy captain, a politician and an inspiration to so many. His remarkable story is a lesser known piece of civil war history, but that doesn't make it any less inspirational. He was born enslaved in Buford, South Carolina, grown up seen and experiencing the horrors of slavery. grown up, seen and experiencing the horrors of slavery. As a teenager, he worked on ships in the Charleston Harbor, where he learned to sail and navigate the coast, and that knowledge would change the course of his life drastically.

When the Civil War broke out in April of 1861, he was forced to work on the planner, a steamer that served as a supply ship for the Confederacy. Robert became the ship's wheelman. And a year later, Robert did the unthinkable. He and other fellow enslaved crew members stole the planter, sailed out of Charleston Harbor right under the noses of Confederate guards and cannons. Robert brought the Union Navy ammunition guns, valuable information.

He then became a hero for the Union Army and was influential in recruiting black soldiers for the war effort. Robert went on to become a prominent South Carolina politician served in the U.S. House of Representatives for multiple terms. He succeeded despite numerous forces against him. Southern Democrats determined to enforce white supremacy threats from the KKK and other hate groups and the rise of Jim Crow laws around him following reconstruction. Robert Smulls valued hard work and determination.

He embodied it. He was known for talking about how he never needed any special defenses or exceptions. All he needed was a chance to succeed and succeed. He did Robert lived during one of the most rapidly changing politically and racially tense times in our nation's history, despite so many obstacles set in front of him along his path. Despite so many rooting for him to fail or worse, he didn't. He kept his damn head up. He was determined to make his mark on the world, and he sure did.

I look forward to sharing his tail with you today, and also reviewing the past year of the suck and the special year end, inspiring, keep on trucking, because what the hell else are we gonna do episode of Time Suck? This is Michael McDonald, and you're listening to Time Suck, your mistake, to top suck. This is Michael McDonald and you're listening to Time Suck, your mistake to talk suck. Happy Monday and happy new year, Meet Sacks.

I'm Dan Cummins, a suck master, Santa's helper, Lucifina's Budwar photographer, popcorn, Sutton's Appalachian moonshine distributor. And you are listening to the last time suck of 2021. Hail, name, Rod. Let's party, Lucifina comes sit by the fire with me on Christmas. O'Jangles, let's, you know, hang out, have some treats, sing some holiday songs, Michael, mother, fucking McDonald's, No announcements today other than sorry, Appalachia for committing the cardinal sin of not knowing who the fuck popcorn suddenly was. Whoops. I decided it was a random dude with a funny name.

Did not know he was an Appalachian moonshine bootleg and legend before he passed away. It's RIP popcorn. I will think of you and drinking powerful whiskey and or when eating popcorn. Now for a special year end show, I'm very excited. You know, we got a topic, Robert Smalls, and then a big recap at the end, highlighting some jokes, sharing some thoughts for 2022, expressing a lot of gratitude for 2021. I know many of you have dealt with a lot of adversity, hard times in 2021. Nearly all of us have been surrounded by a lot of cultural divisiveness since World Government

started trying to figure out how the hell to deal with COVID. For many of us, the most cultural divisiveness we've faced in our lifetime. The most fear of, oh, shit, well, now what? What's next? What's coming around the bend? What bad news am I waking up to tomorrow? With the cultural and political attention,

we've dealt with paydals in comparison to the shit Robert Smalls dealt with my God. The cultural adversity he encountered is heartbreaking and how much he overcame and how are you fused? Let being surrounded by so many people who fucking hated him actively worked to make his life horrible for him simply because I happen to how we happen to look while it's inspiring. Robert Smalls lived to four distinct periods of American history, four periods when being African American was incredibly disanbed, ages. Smalls was a slave during the slave repeater of the prewar South. He then made it to the north, fought soldiers who wanted to either kill or enslave him once more during the American Civil War. After being on

the wind side of that war, he had a promising political career derailed. Ultimately destroyed thanks to the racism of the reconstruction era. And finally in his last years, he watched many of the improvements he fought so hard for. And the battle for equality for black Americans be repealed thanks to the long push for segregation and disenfranchisement during the Jim Crow era. But he never let any of that shit break him. In the end, he died in the house. He still owned the home his slave master used to live in the house

He grew up in when he was a slave as a young boy the one he bought from people that once owned him or well Actually, he didn't buy directly from that buddy. It was the house owned by the people that owned him He died at the age of 75 after a long successful life and a structure so symbolic of overcoming adversity. Let's hop in now, steal some inspiration, some fortitude from this valiant, freedom, fight, and man. Before we dig into the nitty gritty of Robert Small's life, before I give a year end review of what 2021 was like here at Bad Magic at the end of the suck and you know, just wear my heads at now, I'll present a brief overview of each of the four periods of history I just mentioned.

Robert Smalls lived to one of the most rapidly changing and turbulent times in American history. Shit, that makes today's cultural turbulence look like fuck and nothing. Smalls was born enslaved in the pre-war South, fought during the American Civil War, served in politics for decades afterwards during both the reconstruction era and also the Jim Crow era. Let's kick shit off by looking at the history of slavery in South Carolina where he's from. Africans were present at the initial founding of this English colony in 1663, one of the original 13 colonies, one of the original five southern colonies. It was originally part of the same colonies in North Carolina to officially partitioned into separate colonies in 1712. And slavery real popular in South Carolina,

like the most popular, per capita wise, you know, definitely the most popular. Within several decades of its founding, Africans became a majority of the population there. First governor William Sale brought with him three black slaves from the Caribbean and the state's founding fleet in 1670, another a few months later. Sale before leading South Carolina settlement had been the governor of Bermuda, born in Bermuda, also helped settle the Bahamas, South Carolina, not his first settlement rodeo. South Carolina's fundamental constitutions of 1669, envisioned slavery among other forms of servitude and social hierarchy in the colony.

Africans were imported in significant numbers beginning in the 1690s. And by 1715, the black population made up about 60% of the colony's total population. South Carolina was the only colony in English or in English North America where that type of proportion existed. As in Virginia, many slaves in the 17th century South Carolina came from the West Indies. They were well equipped, both epidemiologically. I think I actually got that the second time, in terms of resistance to malaria and yellow fever and pharmacologically, in terms of their ability to make use of native plants to cope

with South Carolina's semi-tropical environment. And the early days of Carolina's history, Africans familiarity with tropical herbs, ability to move along inland waterways, use canoes and skill and fishing, enabled them to live off the land much more easily than their English masters could. And they also got along better with native peoples. Like South Easter, Native American tribes, the early Africans came from basket weaving traditions, both skilled and used a small water craft on inland rivers.

Africans were among the first to appropriate native languages in South Carolina. We're often used as translators. These conditions facilitated African adjustment and the appropriation of local skills from natives. Often Africans were the mediators of knowledge between the tribes and the European sellers. And because African men have square-shaped penises and native women have rectangular vaginal canals and native men have square-shaped penises and African women have rectangular vaginal canals. And European men and women both have either oval or parallelogram shaped genitalia. Africans and local natives were especially well-studed sexually and that helped bring about

a lot of good will between the two peoples. That made Africans even more desirable to English settlers. That's what the term fits like a glove comes from. And if anyone just believed that, I am fucking surprised. And thank you because that was absurd and not even a well thought out, Mr. Rick. Uh, are you now thinking about how weird it would be if different races had drastically differently, uh, shaped generals?

Are you picturing different winners as if they were made by a play dough dispenser where you push the play dough through different shaped holes in that little plastic rail? It comes with, say, a play dough fun factory. Are you think about that now? Well, you're not alone. Back to reality, African expertise as well as rough pioneer conditions of a new settlement facilitated a degree of saw buck equality in 17th century South Carolina, a term derived from the image of the slave owner working all day, son wood with a slave, each facing the opposite, or

each facing the other, excuse me on opposite sides of a saw buck. This kind of working together, a relatively benign period of slavery compared to what would come later was, of course, not to last. And plantation slavery would take over the dawn of the 18th century in South Carolina. Colony increasingly embraced rice as a staple. And the English colonists benefited from their African slaves, milleerated with the grain, many of whom came from rice growing regions in Africa knew more about the cultivation of that crop than Englishmen. We're buying slaves, Carolinians adopted a preference for people from the rice producing

Senagonia region. And this preference lasted through most of the colonial period. Many Senagonians also worked with cattle and were brought in for their expertise in that area as well. So in a lot of cattle grazing and raising was being done in South Carolina. I don't know why that's a prize, but I didn't picture it as cow country. The practice of free grazing and nighttime painting for cattle protection along with seasonal burning, defresh, and pastures all had West African roots.

The story in Peter Wood noted for his knowledge of the settlement of the original South suggested that the cowboy, prominently connected with 19th century American West may well have found its first usage in the US and South Carolina and came from Africa before that. How about that? Yeah. Last week we learned the banjo came directly from Africa. This week we're learning that the American cowboy has some African roots. Most of the people working with cattle in early South Carolina were black as were most of the states population in general.

As I alluded to earlier, 17,000 people in South Carolina in 1720, 12,000 were black by 1740, 15,000 of the 45,000 people in South Carolina were white. In 1765, blacks outnumbered whites by more than two to one, 90,000 to 40,000, almost 70% to 30% and Charleston where smalls would live from work for several years, imported more slaves than any other North American port. Show how important Charleston, South Carolina was to the slave trade, a ban on the slave trade largely disregarded as it was would go into effect in 1808.

And by then some 300,000 Africans had been uprooted and pressed into slavery in the, you know, the US, present a US and nearly half of them roughly 150,000 people had been brought into America through the nation's largest slave port of Charleston, South Carolina. Going back now to the mid-18th century, as the numbers of these imported slaves, you know, Africans increased, so did laws restricting their rights because, you know, whites got more and more nervous. Reacting to the Stono Rebellion of 1739, the largest slave result revolt in the Southern colonies, in which up to 80 slaves revolted, killed roughly 25 colonists trying to make it

to Spanish Florida where they would be free. The colony in 1740 passed its most comprehensive slave law, which made it illegal for more than seven adult male slaves to travel together, except when in the company of a white person. More laws would follow. Southern slave owners, you know, feared rebellions more than perhaps anything else around this time. Sadly, no members of that stone overbellion ever did make it to Florida. 1740 code was the basis for all slave laws subsequently passed in the colonial and antebellum

eras during the second half of the 18th century and especially during the revolutionary crisis racial attitudes in South Carolina would harden. It's harsher attitude will be shown in the increasingly restrictive laws past to regulate the slave and the free black population as well. Free back, free black population, very small, very rare for anybody to be given their freedom, you know, which they have to have to be bought into freedom. Berglary Arson running away all now capital offenses punishable by death. Slaves were not to be away from plantation between sunset and sunrise. And at no time without the permission of the master or they could be taken up and brutally

whipped. Life was harsh and hard for slaves in South Carolina as it was everywhere in the pre-Civil War South. Imagine that shit. First imagine that someone else owns you, like literally owns you. Then imagine that you're out and about, you're walking home, you're walking to your master's home,

nervous that you're not gonna make it there in time, pick up your pace, some sweat starts running down your back. You know, more than usual. You're always probably sweating that damp, oppressive, sweltering, sounds Carolina heat. Then sure enough, you know, like it does every day, the sun sets, but you're not home. And after it sets, some mean local bastard,

maybe drunk seats on the road, yells for you to come on over to their porch. You know, if you don't, they'll do something worse to you. What they're gonna do now, later on, what they do, you know, this night with the help of a few others, as they tie you up to a tree or to a post, and they fucking whip you. And then, when you're released and you head home, maybe get whipped again for being out too long. Wipped in a way that tears up your clothes, shreds, your skin, but no doctor for you. The gashes slowly heal, maybe get a bit infected at first before they do, turn into horrible scars.

All for not getting home in time. That's your life. Imagine that as your life right now, just been fucking grabbed off the street, tied to a tree, and fucking whipped. Nothing's ever gonna be perfect in America or anywhere else. And I'm not saying I don't want things to improve in a variety of ways, you know, because I do want things to continually improve, but holy shit. Thanks for so much worse back then. Despite the overall horrors of Southern slavery, there was a greater sense of community in South Carolina for slaves that are almost any part of North America, any other part.

Slaves they can provide each other with moral, spiritual, and sometimes cultural support, more so than in other areas because of, you know, how, how many were concentrated there because of the numbers as a result of their great numbers, the greatest number of Africanism surviving in British North America can be found in Carolina region to this day. And the sea islands off the coast of South Carolina, Georgia, Florida. One historian suggested that early South Carolina was a effectively bilingual. The slaves developing, speaking dialects, their masters could not understand so they could speak in private.

Pigeon English concocted as a means of communication between and among various African ethnic groups became more regularized and evolved into a separate Creole language among Gullah and Geechy speakers along the South Carolina coast. Small spoke Gullah. I'll share more on what that means during the timeline. I found it fascinating. In addition to having the most slaves out of the island also had some unique slave customs. South Carolina in anomaly with the other continental colonies in British North America. And that it was the only one where slave concubinage was almost instituted in open practice in imitation of English customs and the West Indies. And that means that

many male slave owners didn't do much. Sometimes nothing at all when it came to hiding their African American mistresses. Sexual relations between free white men and slave black women were common. This exact combination was found in Robert Small's own parents. White women black men, however, that combination strictly forbidden by the end of the 18th century in the health Carolina farming rice would give way to cotton And the rise of the larger cotton plantations the mechanics of cotton production Closer to those that tobacco than of rice cotton production not as labor intensive as rice production Could be carried out by a man and his family and this facilitated the spread of slavery by making it more accessible Right to more farmers family and this facilitated the spread of slavery by making it more accessible, right,

to more farmers. Farmers can start off slowly, gradually acquire slaves and expand cultivation as opposed to having to have many slaves right away. The expansion of slavery throughout the state led to the full maturity of a slave society in South Carolina by 1860, 45.8% of white families in the state owned slaves, given the state one of the highest percentages of slaveholders in the country. During the anti-bellum era that lasted between the war of 1812 and the civil war, the majority of slaves lived on plantations claiming more than 20 slaves, while the majority of slave

holders owned far fewer than 20 slaves. Largely concentrated in places such as the rice regions of the low country and the fertile cotton regions such as the Sumter District, slaves created communities shaped as much by their own interactions as by their relationships with whites. Slave cabins on large plantations often built in rows, on either side of dirt roads or streets relatively close to the fields, but some distance from the master's houses, this arrangement provided both physical and to some extent psychological distance between masters and slaves, allowing slaves some autonomy once the work day was over luxury often denied house servants and those living on small farms

smalls would experience an interesting type of autonomy and go work various non-plantation jobs giving a portion of his money giving most of his money to his master but also being able to keep some for himself before the war break out he was saving up money to try and buy his wife's freedom, at least entertaining that possibility. As remote as it was, let's move on down to the Civil War period. The Smalls would live through and fight in. Having done a suck on the Civil War, we've covered a lot of how that war was fought. One area we didn't get into much previously was Navy's use in that war. And you know, an area that involves Robert Smalls. Before the war, naval battles have been fought using large wooden ships powered by sails filled with cannons. Ships with pummelies, other until one or sometimes both were completely destroyed.

The invention of the steam engine changed things. Steam powered ships first used in Europe in the 1780s, more flexible for travel, a lot faster. Engineers invented new techniques to reinforce the breach of the cannons to make them smaller. They created large charges of gunpowder bigger projectiles that could travel faster and farther. Weapon makers carved grooves inside cannon barrels, which made the projectile spin and increased

accuracy. They develop new shells that could explode upon impact sink a ship with one shot. No more just fucking around out in the bay just constantly blasting cannons at each other for hours. torpedoes carry bombs that attach and explode on the holes of enemy ships. The first steam powered ship used in battle was the demogelos wooden floating battery or the demologos wooden floating battery built to defend New York Harbor from the Royal Navy during the war of 1812. Never saw any action, no other ship like her was built. But then decades later, just in time of the Civil War, the Ironclad, new type of ship, better type of ship,

and better in Europe in 1859. Ironclads were ships played with iron armor so they could withstand enemy fire. This was incredibly effective for many years. The first Ironclad battle took place in March 1862 at Hampton Roads, Virginia. 400 miles up to Atlanta coast from Charleston. Over 400 miles. The Ironclad CSS Virginia fought wooden union warships sank two of them. The Virginia drove the wooden ships away, but then the next day the Ironclad USS monitor returned and the ships engaged in

battle. Two ships circled each other firing cannibals. It would bounce off each other's iron sides and they actually just fought to a draw. But the combination of a steam engine and ironclad technology wouldn't ships couldn't compete. The ironclad had successors became the most formidable weapons of warfare until airplanes were invented in use in World War I. One example of a weapon used during the American Civil War that was more innovative and destructive than anything ever seen before the Iron Clad. The Navy's real importance in Civil War was regarding supplies though, not firepower, not as far as you know, like just a, you know, loss of life with the enemy.

The primary mission of the Union Navy was as declared by President Lincoln on April 19, 1861 to maintain a big blockade of the Confederate ports by restraining blockade runners. The mission would be the, this mission would be the primary mission for the duration of the war for the Navy. And while the Union's Sea Power didn't directly win the war, it did enable the war to be won by the time at least Surrender Lincoln's Navy out numbered 626 warships, 65 were iron clats after starting out with only roughly 90 vessels total. The Confederate Navy started out with only 14 sea worthy vessels, end of the war with around 100 total ships, substantially smaller navy. And this fucked up their whole supply chain. And then their navy would be made a little bit smaller to confederates by Robert Smalls, who would steal one of their best ships,

hand the Union valuable intel along with it. It would lead to a swift Confederate defeat back home of South Carolina. From a tiny force of nearly 9,000 seam in an 1861, the Union Navy increased by wars into about 59,000 sailors, whereas naval appropriations per year leaped from approximately 12 million to around 123 million. And the blockade of about 3,500 miles of Confederate coastline, although that blockade didn't truly become effective before the end of 1863, was a factor of incalculable value in the final defeat of the Davis government. Hard to win a prolonged war if your primary supply chains and income routes have been completely obliterated. And then we're completely obliterated. Some smugglers would get shit in and out, but not like

they would have been able to if the ports would have been a wide open, not even close. The Civil War started to see right near where smalls was enslaved with the Battle of Fort Sumpner. An island fortification in the Charleston Harbor. Harbor Robert Smalls was working in. The Fort had been constructed in 1829 as a coastal garrison. US major Robert Anderson occupied the fort in December 1860. That's when he started occupying it.

After South Carolina's secession, he initiated a sand off of South Carolina militia forces. President Lincoln announced intentions to resupply the fort and then Confederate General P.G. T. Boe regard, bombard of the fort on April 12, 1861, which began the Civil War. Totally forgot. First shots of the Civil War fired under the watch of a dude named PGT bow regard Pierre Gustaf Tutant bow regard From St. Bernard Paris, Louisiana No wonder he went by PGT. This first three names three names fucking mouthful. I am Pierre Gustaf Tutant bow regard easy buddy easy

This is the casual city The first battle lasted until April 13th, shockingly, no one died during the fighting of that battle. Another topic, not highly much in civil war history, black soldiers. As soon as news of the first battle, the civil war spread, black men rushed to and list in the Union Army. And were turned away because of a 1792 law, barring black men from serving in the army. I want to link in generals, David Hunter and South Carolina issued proclamations that emancipated slaves in the state and allowed them to list and list in the Union Army. Lincoln forced him to reverse that policy.

By the summer of 1862, enslaved people had escaped the North and the thousands still want to serve in the army. The Union now noticing an increased number of escaped enslaved people wanted to fight a declining number of white volunteers wanting to do the same. Their increased personnel needs led them to passage July 17th, 1862 second confiscation and militia act, which allowed formerly enslaved men to serve in the army as laborers or quote in such a manner as he may judge best for the public welfare. And this confiscation act changed the law that would lead to former slaves becoming free

forever. At this point in the war, the emancipation of enslaved African Americans, not one of Lincoln's objectives, but now needing more soldiers. Lincoln came up with a plan to gradually emancipate enslaved people in border states. Abolition is criticizing for not coming up with a more aggressive plan. In August of 1862, Lincoln wrote an editorial for the daily national intelligence that said in part, my paramount object in this struggle is to save the union and it's not either to save or to destroy slavery. If I could save

the union without freeing any slave, I would do it. And if I could save it by freeing all the slaves, I would do it. And if I could save it by freeing some and leaving others alone, I would also do that. So I mean, pretty plain speak there. That was not an early objective of the war, interesting, right? Not the exact narrative about Lincoln. I remember being taught in school. Lincoln wrote his first draft of the emancipation proclamation on July 22, 1862. Now he's, you know, now makes military sense.

Now it makes, you know, bringing the country back together sense to have, you know, enslaved African-Americans emancipated. Is cabinet helped him work on a plan for emancipation secretary state William, it will him eight sure told him to wait to announce emancipation until the union won a significant battle. And that happened on September 17, 1862. When the union halted the advance to Confederate forces in your Sharfsburg, Maryland on September 22nd, five days later,

18, Lincoln now issued the emancipation proclamation, which declared that on January 1st, 1863, all enslaved people in rebel states would be freed. And that such persons of suitable condition will be received into the armed service of the United States. Freedom of slaves would very possibly not have come about from the Civil War, even with the Union victory If it hadn't provided the North with a strong advantage larger army army and the depletion of the South's labor force Lincoln called on Confederate States now to rejoin the Union within a hundred days or

They're enslaved people would be freed forever and the Confederacy was like what do you fuck what do you fucking talk about? But what do you know fuck you like we're a war with you. We don't give a shit what you say. You know, so they, of course, did not do that. And then Lincoln signed the proclamation into law on January 1st, 1863. And because he was an actual charge of Southern states, of course, you know, at the time, this was just a symbolic emancipation. But the power of the act would change the history of our country forever when the union would win the war. After Lincoln issued this proclamation, black men now enlisted in the military in the thousands, volunteers from South Carolina, Tennessee, Massachusetts, filled the first black regiments, leaves like Frederick Douglass and Robert Smalls, encouraged Black men to enlist

in the hopes they'd be awarded citizenship after the war. And maybe 1862, the government established a bureau of colored troops to manage Black soldiers. By the end of the war, 180,000 black men roughly would serve in the Union Army. And nineteen thousand of them like Robert Smalls would have served in the Navy. Robert's military service would be just a small part of his remarkable life. He spent most of his adult life in Vols and Politics, served in the House representatives during reconstruction, one of the most politically turbulent times in U.S. history.

Reconstruction is regarded as the period following the civil war from 1865 to 1877 and the goal of reconstruction was to figure out how to reintegrate the Confederate states. Now to determine the legal status of four million newly freed African Americans, reconstruction defined US citizenship expanded voting rights, changed the relationship between federal and state governments and highlighted differences between political and economic democracy. President Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln following his assassination on April 14th, 1865, just five days after the end of the Civil War, dude, dude, get a fucking week to celebrate that shit.

Johnson wanted to return the South to its anti-bellum state, but Republicans determined to stop him. It passed laws and amendments to affirm equality quality between the races made free blacks full citizens put laws into place to ensure voting equality, although many states would refuse to follow those laws. Uh, first reconstruction, you know, seemed to work their Americans to progress. Black men vote in large numbers held offices at local and national government levels in the South of black community quickly joined with the Republican Party to bring the party to

power at a national level. But fucking Andy Johnson sabotaged some shit. That president literally every month of school. Did you know that? He never went to school at all, not kidding. His wife would teach him rudimentary math skills and how to not read and write like a fucking five year old, you know, well into his adult life. Yeah, let's make that guy president. Well, could go wrong. Johnson offered a presidential pardon to all Southern whites, including Confederate leaders, wealthy plantation owners, and then he eventually pardoned most of them too though. Johnson restored their political rights, returned all their property, except formerly enslaved

people. This move would not bode well for former Southern slaves, their slave masters, have just been given a slap on the wrist and basically put back in power. However, black people down south did still hope they could gain true economic independence. Some would in January of 1865, General Sherman issued field order number 15, which set aside land along South Carolina and Georgia's coasts where Robert Smalls lived, set aside that land for black families. The Friedman's Bureau act of March 1865 authorized the Bureau to rent or sell that land to formerly

enslaved people, but then later in the summer of 1865, fucking Andy Johnson. Well, I can grade school dropout. I'd call him that, but he never even went to grade school. Ordered all land and federal possession to be returned to its owners. Dreams of land ownership were now squashed. Many black people had to return to working on the plantations they used to be enslaved upon or low pay that basically left them as a new type of slave. Southern states responded to Johnson's plan by immediately establishing black codes,

laws requiring black people to sign yearly labor contracts. The codes also heavily restricted their activity. So again, just a new kind of slavery, a new 13th Amendment prohibited slavery in servitude except as punishment for crime. just a new kind of slavery, a new 13th Amendment prohibited slavery in servitude except as punishment for crime. And Southern legislators really abused the loophole in this amendment. They poophole that loophole. They passed the black codes to criminalize daily activities so they can imprison black

people and basically force them back into slavery. The black codes were first enacted in South Carolina and Mississippi. Black men and women weren were allowed to loiter. Vagrancy was prohibited. Gathering in groups was prohibited and unemployment was a crime. Again, imagine that. Imagine you're born a slave that you were raised in slavery, that your dream was to one day live free, only be beholden to the same laws. Everyone else in your society was beholden to, you know, but be able to be able to stay out as long as you want to date who you want, live where you want, work where you can get work as opposed to where you're

ordered to work, et cetera. Then a big ass war breaks out last year, half a decade, and then the war when it's one, you're giving your freedom. Just, you know, how do you, the impossible dream comes true. So many tears of joy, you allow yourself now, not just a dream of what you'll do when you're free, but now to plan what you're going to do. Now that you are free, and then, like, you know, a couple months later, this fucking take that shit away

from you, and you're right back on the plantation, getting whipped, living in fear, all the same shit. These new laws forced black people to sign yearly labor contracts yet to avoid arrests, white planners, refused to allow black people to rent or buy land, paid them as little as possible, you know, imprisonment and fines were just a way to enforce the black codes. Slap on somebody with a fine, they couldn't pay easy way to force somebody right back

into indentured servitude. Police officers, they just issue high fines. It would take years to pay off. The only alternative to paying the fine was working off the debt, a system called debt penage. Most of that labor was field work, just a different kind of slavery, you know, again, that's basically plantation slavery black children Also forced to work if the parents were deemed unfit children would be taken to state custody as orphans forced into unpaid labor Black people under constant surveillance even when meeting privately even when attending church They need a special passes from white sponsors just to walk around town freely and if they didn't have a pass Hello big ass fine.

Hello, fucking whip. That's some evil shit. Northern legislators, legislators angered by these black codes as they should have been revoked their support of President Andy fuck face. President Andy who probably couldn't spell Andrew Johnson, the KKK founded on December 24th 1865 also a direct reaction to reconstruction. The group targeted Republicans who supported true emancipation with assassinations and beatings. Also targeted African Americans who asserted their newfound rights,

you know, who stood up for themselves with beatings and murders. KKK started in Plaski, Plaski, Tennessee as a club for Confederate veterans. And it turned to one of the most evil organizations in our nation's history. And I've said it before, it's been a while, but man, I mean, I don't sound obvious, but apparently it's not obvious to some people, still racism, it's just truly so fucking stupid. Like of all the things to worry about in this life,

why worry about that? You know, in a stupid and all forms, from black to white, from white to black, and every other variation, seems to generally come from either making huge generalizations, generalizations, you know, based on limited interactions. For example, you know two people who are blank and those two people are assholes. So now all blank people are assholes or comes from not understanding where behavioral tendencies originate from. Like if you're in the South in the early or mid mid 19th century, you notice that blacks are literate

at a rate far more often than whites around you. You can develop racist beliefs thinking that blacks are genetically inferior to whites when it comes to their intellectual abilities. If you didn't look at the trend more rationally and understand that how could one race be as literate as another? If the one race was literally forbidden from receiving a formal education, a massive education disparity is to blame. Not some inherent inferiority based on any racial attribute, but yeah, fucking KKK guys are not. They're not having these

conversations. Back to the KKK now in the summer of 1867 local branches met the general convention to establish what they called the invisible empires of the South. And I imagine they did say it kind of like that. We're welcome to the invisible empires of the South. We will like our president never need to read or write. And I guess you could read it right eventually. To ignorance, we shall prevail. Members elected in the annual Bedford Forest is the first grand wizard of the KKK He'd been in Confederate general and one of his nicknames was the wizard of the saddle. That's a fucking weird ass nickname Not sound and I sure if that sounded tougher and cooler back in 1860s sounds dumb as shit now sounds like a

D and D nerd who's also into pony player something. Oh, hello ladies.. The wizard in the saddle. Mm hmm. At least at least 10% of black legislators elected during 1867, 1868 were victims of KKK violence. Seven were murdered. Black schools and churches also targets because the resembles of black autonomy, legislators in Congress, not happy with, you know, how presidential reconstructions going. I don't know, December 1865 congressional assembly, radical Republicans, representative Thaddeus Stevens and Senator Charles Sumner call for the establishment of new Southern state governments based on equality and universal male suffrage.

Moderate Republicans wanted to work with Andy two plus two as seven Johnson to modify his current plans, but there's a lot of internal tension. For a time, Congress refused to seat representatives and senators from Southern states. A lot of Bickeren, a lot of fighting going on. February of 1866, Congress does pass the Friedman's Bureau in civil rights bills, legislation, you know, that would help African Americans. They extended the life of the Friedman's Bureau. The civil rights bill made all people born in the U.S. citizens, therefore granting everyone

legal equality, at least on paper. Civil rights act also gave African Americans the right to rent their own property, enter contracts, bring cases to court, but only against other African Americans. How crazy is that shit? You could only bring cases to court against other African Americans. Yorana, Jack Johnson stole my horse in front of 15 eyewitnesses. Is that true, Jack? Yes, Your Honor Choose the day is long

Where I reckon the court find you guilty of horse theft and Jack But your honor I am white sir. Oh, yes, yes you are Jack bodys. I forgot you will mille-tan from long summer days a case dismissed It's insane Now the Freedman's Bureau established by Congress, eight and 65, it provided food, housing, medical treatment, legal assistance, established schools for formerly enslaved black people. The Bureau was a noble organization, but sadly never able to accomplish many of its goals, do the short staffing, lack of budget, intimidation tactics by racists who hated them and what they were doing.

President Dunst Cap, each ship of breakfast, Johnson, did everything he could to do, to undermine the bureau. He pardoned Confederates, fired bureau employees, he believed were too sympathetic to black people before retiring to his chambers to flageulate himself while shouting over and he's a stupid, stupid boy and he's a stupid boy. That's why I couldn't read.

Imagine hearing something like that in the White House and you open up like a storage closet, find the fucking president, whipping himself, crying, while yelling shit like that, makes me very happy to envision Andrew Johnson that way. And Andy's that stupid boy! There was much internal debate over how much money the Bureau should get, what services they should provide,

how long they should receive funding. Bureau would have 11 districts, almost 900 agents. Bureau agents constantly threatened with violence from the KKK. Although limited, the Bureau would do important work. They provided food, build hospitals, help with contracts, legal disputes, legalized marriages, reunited families, assisted black veterans and more.

Also found out a few schools and colleges that remained to this day, Howard College in Washington, DC. Now it was founded by the Bureau. Hand in university in Virginia, was founded by the Bureau. Hand in University in Virginia also founded by the Bureau. The Bureau would be dismantled sadly in the summer of 1872. Let's refocus now back to February 1866. Andrew uses fingers to count for those first whole life Johnson. Rejected a civil rights bill in the grounds of states' rights preferential treatment to

one group and financial burdens. But in reality, he just didn't like black people and he did like wealthy white Southern people who supported him. Congress, not happy. In July of 1866, civil rights act becomes the first significant U.S. legislation to ever become a law despite a presidential veto. On July 9, 1868, two years later, Congress approved the 14th Amendment, which puts birth rights, citizenship, and the Constitution, and forbade any states to deprive people of legal protection. This bill

considered the most important amendment by many to the Constitution besides the Bill of Rights. An O'Andy half-wit on the wrong side of history on this one, back in the supply closet he went when the bill was passed despite his veto. And he's a stupid, stupid boy. vdo and he's a stupid, stupid boy. But, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, forced, but it's a start by 1869 Republicans controlled all three branches of the federal government. Johnson was impeached by the House in February of 1868 for attempting to remove Secretary of War. Edwin Stanton, a violation of the 10 year of office act, which limits the president's power to remove Congress-approved officials. The Senate failed to remove Johnson by just one vote. Despite not getting kicked to fuck out, Johnson was done. Republican Ulysses S. Grant would win the 1868 election. And Johnson would spend his post-presidency jerking off study horses at a horse ranch outside

election too. JK, I wish. I wish he would spend his final years jerking off horses, walls still yelling, and he's a stupid, stupid boy, as he's just jerking off a horse. He actually would end up becoming a Tennessee senator shortly before his death in 1875 at the age of 66, did that of a stroke or a dead of a hate stroke being angry about some. What did he campaign on? How much he hated reconstruction efforts basically?

How did he win a black voter suppression? February of 1869, Congress passed 15th Amendment, which asserted that a citizen's right to vote would not be denied an account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude. Another victory for Black Americans. Also, something else that would take decades and decades to actually be enforced in many parts of America. By 1870, all former Confederate states were re-admitted to the union, almost all of them dominated by the Republican Party.

Black people made up the majority of Republican voters. Excuse me in the South. Black politicians like Robert Smalls push for an end to the racial caste system, economic support for former enslaved people, during Reconstruction 16 black men served in Congress, over 600 black men served in state governments and hundreds more in local offices. Transition of black men to positions of power created a lot of tension between Democrats and Republicans. Herum Rebels was the first black man elected to Congress in 1870.

Democrats trying to do everything they could to prevent him from taking his seat. Argued you didn't, you didn't have the nine years of citizenship necessary to become a citizen, referencing the Civil Rights Act and the 14th Amendment. What a fucking dick move. The residents argued, yeah, he was, he was born a free man and born in the US. What are you talking about? Rebels were sworn in in February 25th, 1870. The New York Times wrote, Mr. Rebels showed no embarrassment whatsoever

And his demeanor was as dignified as could be expected under the circumstances The abuse which had been poured upon him and on his race during the last two days might well have shaken the nerves of anyone In 1871 President Grant launched a legal a military campaign to destroy the KKK and other hate groups whose violent acts continued. Grant was reelected in 1872, continued his campaign against the KKK. The federal government passed the KKK Act of 1871 trying to stamp out the hate group, designated certain crimes as federal offenses, such as conspiracy to deprive citizens of the right to hold office, serve on juries, and enjoy protection of the law.

Individuals who committed these crimes can be arrested without charges and sent to federal courts. Still the KKK rose in power. Southern Democrats and the KKK worked tirelessly to reestablish white supremacy in the South. White supremacy would continue to dominate the South throughout the 1870s and beyond. 1873 depression sends the South into poverty and the political ramifications would massively fuck over Republican efforts towards racial equality. Republicans have been in control for almost 10 years now and poor struggling people in both South and the North, they wanted to change.

1874 Democrats won the House for the first time since Civil War. By 1876 only Florida, Louisiana and South Carolina were Republican controlled. And then the compromise of 1877 would mark the end of reconstruction. 19 present Republican rutherford, Rutherford, be haze agreed to end reconstruction by bringing the blessings of honest and capable local self government to the south. If Democrats agree to respect the rights of black citizens and support his very, very narrow electoral victory to become president. And you know, uh, Southern, you know, white politicians were like, oh, yeah, no, totally. Oh, yeah, I think yeah, of course, we're, we're spec the rights of black

citizens, but they had their fingers crossed behind their backs. After Hays' inauguration, he ordered federal troops to withdraw from Louisiana, South Carolina in this end of reconstruction, and officially reinstated democratic control in the South and doomed a whole bunch of Southern racial equality progress. And brought in a new, you know, worse era, the Jim Crow era. Jim Crow laws a collection of state and local statutes that would legalize segregation. Jim Crow era lasted for a century from 1860s till 1968. I really picked up steam when Hayes did what he did in 1877. Jim Crow was an extension of the earlier black codes, right?

Those codes directly followed Civil War, Former Confederate soldiers had taken jobs throughout Southern legislatures and police forces. They made it impossible to win court cases, heavily enforced unjust Jim Crow laws for black citizens upon black citizens. If you broke Jim Crow laws, you arrested, find jailed or just fucking murdered black people who were sentenced to forced labor, was received longer, harsh, or sentences than like, you know, a white equivalent of the same crime. Many of them would die in prison, Jim Crow restricted voting job access education. These laws varied from state to state. Here's some examples from South Carolina. It shall be on lawful for any white man to

enter Mary within the woman, rather the end of you know, Negro racers on a mulatto, or than Indian or Negro races or in a Marlotto or Mostizo or half breed or for any white woman into Mary with any person other than a white man or for any Marlotto half breed Indian Negro or Mistazel to intamerah with the white woman. I do believe that person probably talked like that Mistizo by the way, someone of mixed European and Native American heritage. I had not heard that term before. Businesses also couldn't require whites to share a break room with blacks or bathrooms. The white man needs to retire to a separate break room to avoid the ills and evils of congregation with the black man.

Some shit. Bustes and trains had to have separate seating areas for white and black, certain businesses like circuses randomly. There was a whole fucking circus statute. I'd have separate, separate entrances and exits. Well, when the white man comes to watch the elephants and the clowns and enjoy his, uh, salted peanuts, uh, having to sit now, black man, uh, really kind of destroys the experience of the circus and, uh, homes him in ways him and ways that I'm sorry, listen,

I can try to rationalize, I just don't like it. I just please, I just, I don't care for it. Black people maybe weren't enslaved anymore, but they were still restricted their movement, subject to extreme racism, violence, had a few job prospects. They're often forced to work as sharecroppers for low wage, put them in debt for their farming supplies, and they had to give up their crops to the landowners, This kind of debt, peedage system, another type of slavery right continue for decades. Meanwhile, across the South, KKK vandalized destroyed schools, torture black citizens, attacked innocent families, after Jim Crow laws put in place, KKK fell as he had fucking cart blotch. Just do what they want to do, lynch people, all kinds of shit. Initially larger cities across the US didn't

enforce these Jim Crow laws, least not strictly, but then in the 1880s, black Americans were flocking to the cities and large numbers to escape the virtual slavery of the rural South. Then now that the issue is real for them, whites and the cities, you know, both the South and the North were like, you know what? Okay, and maybe we should enforce and they started demanding stricter laws to limit African Americans abilities to have their kids attend the same schools by homes and same neighborhoods. All kind of heinous shit. Everything from theaters, restaurants, waiting rooms, train stations, water, water fountains, bathrooms, entrances, elevators, cemeteries, fucking cemeteries.

I like it Matt, Jesus Christ, cashier windows, all segregated. Black people forbidden from living in white neighborhoods, attending white schools, using white phone booths, being treated in white hospitals or sums, being incarcerated in white jails, right, place in white nursing homes, et cetera. Some states even required separate textbooks. We cannot have them read the same book and feel as if they may be equal. Atlanta court even made black and white people swear on different Bibles. So white people wouldn't have to touch the same fucking Bible. The black people don't. When Jesus walks the earth, what was important to him is that the white and the black man did not

cohabitate or touch the same items. It was a part of his vision for heaven. Right, you know, that's Jesus love, Jesus love prejudice. If anybody knows anything about Jews, it knows he hated when people are treated evenly. He loved discrimination. You know, he made, that's why he made sure

that all his disciples were white. I bet a lot of those Christians back then actually thought that Jesus and disciples were white. Hopefully no one's listening now still thinks that. How could you fucking think that now? Dude looked a lot more like a member of ISIS than he did a Southern country club gal. So many people's lack of understanding

how fucking geography and race historically converge is mind boggling. Dude was from Bethlehem in present day Palestine, not Pennsylvania. Come on. Interracial co-obitation for Bidden, many smaller towns even posted signs making clear that black people were not welcome in their town. And Robert Smalls lived through all that nonsense. They've been South Carolina and the heart of this nonsense during this shit. And accomplished so much in spite of it all. Never let any of it break his indomitable spirit. So let's now examine a timeline.

This motherfucker's kick ass life. Right after a word from our sponsors. Now let's hop into that timeline. On April 5th, 1839, Robert, Motherfucking Smalls, born in the slave quarters of a house on 511 Prince Street, and Bufert, South Carolina, Smalls a house on 511 Prince Street in Buford, South Carolina. Smalls born in Buford also would die in Buford in the same house you grew up in. The house is still there if you're history buff.

The Robert Smalls house and National Historic Landmark. And a memorial to Smalls life stands less than a half mile away in the church yard of Buford's Tabernacle Back to church where Smalls is buried. Buford South Carolina situated on Port Royal. One of South Carolina's beautiful sea islands. Sea islands a low line chain of over 100 islands, off the Atlantic Ocean, stretching for 300 miles across South Carolina,

Georgia and Florida, over 30 layoff to coast to South Carolina alone. The Spaniard first discovered Buford, 1521. The Hueynotz tried to settle it in 1562. In the English in 1670, then Scottish Coventers in 1684. Swamps and local tribes made a hard settle. The British were built of Fort in 1711 and Henry Somerset, second Duke of Beaufort,

founded the town that same year. Incorporated in 1711, that's the old-ass town from America. Beaufort the second oldest settlement in South Carolina, besides nearby Charleston. A gorgeous little town. Got lost in some pictures again this week. So many cute cafes and coffee shops. And well preserved anti-bellum houses. Still creeps up into the 60s, you know, in December.

A lot of sunshine, ocean inlets all around. What? Not too. Like. People still raise cattle not far from this town. A bit of farming is done. The area is some shrimpin Some light manufacturing only about 13,000 people in the city limits But around 200,000 almost in the island's metro area. It looks very peaceful Wasn't too peaceful for those who were enslaved there though Port Royal Island thrived on a plantation economy with cash crops like indigo rice cotton slave there though. Port Royal Island thrived on a plantation economy with cash crops like Indigo, rice, cotton, islands only 13 miles long, seven miles wide. Port Royal considered the most economically productive island of all the sea islands. And these islands have had

a long, have long had, almost always had a predominantly black population, one that centuries ago developed very interesting distinct dialects, one of the most well-known gulla, more on that dialect in just a bit. Today, many of the sea islands are uninhabited, but some like Hilton, head island, Paris Island, Fort Sumner, Taibe Island are used for tourism, some heavily become very attractive areas for tourists and for people purchasing second homes. A lot of local concern, actually, that the local black population getting pushed out, right?

Traditional black settlements being pushed out in a place by white country clubs. Paris Island uses a Marine Corps training base. Robert's mother, Lydia Polite, 43 year old woman forced to work as a house slave in this area. Lydia never told anyone not even Robert, whose father was. Robert was most likely based on his looks and historical guesses by racial black and white, which has led to several theories about who his father could have been. Most popular guesses, fathers Henry McKee and Slaver and son of the original plantation owner that is the smallest we've borne on. Another guess, the plantation manager, Patrick

Smalls, there was his father. I mean, you know, same, same last name, but we'll get into like how last names don't necessarily work that way in this place at that time. What's his mother, a mistress of one of these men? Was she raped? Was she? Maybe not, you know, violently raped. Maybe she even verbally gave consent, but how much consent can you really give in a slave owner's slave relationship? When the punishment for saying no can be far worse than a green to the rape. What a enormous pressure placed on black women to pretend to consent? And I'm sure a size will number of black men also raped.

No stats can never be gathered to figure out how common this all was, but plenty of individual stories out there in various historical accounts. Probably father Henry McKee, 27 years old, in 1839 when Robert was born. Henry himself known to friends as sugar bridges born in 1811, one of 11 children of John and Margaret McKee, his father owned

ash dl plantation large sea island cotton plantation on ladies island South Carolina. So many islands, only about a thousand feet of water separating this island from Buford on point on Port Royal Island. John McKee, sugar bridges father inherited the plantation, ten enslaved people just before the end of the American Revolution. John would go on to enslave 95 people on the plantation, on the plantation in total during his lifetime ended up owning a mansion within the city of Buford as well as wife Margaret founded the Buford female benevolent society. It's quite debutant. This place provided relief for destitute female children. White children come Come on.

That's not. That's not your crazy. The McKee family was among Buford's elite. John McKee died in 1834. Sugar Bridges is the only living son. And he inherited everything, including 61 enslaved people. In 1836, Sugar Bridges married Jane Bold, daughter of a wealthy Buford couple. And their first daughter lies in Jane, born in 1839 in April. Henry Sugar Bridge's

McKee's life contrasted starkly with Lydia and Robert's lives. Lydia been born on the McKee's Astral plantation back in 1796. As a young child she grew up doing chores like gathering firewood and plants. She received minimal clothing and food, corn molasses, meat. Her family most likely grew their own food, so several of them had their diet. They were allowed to keep pigs and chickens so that they can sell meat and eggs to the monkeys, their owners, forward next to nothing, of course. God, that would be fucking awkward. Hard to negotiate a fair price, right? In a slave to master relationship. How much for a dozen eggs? 25 cents, ma'am. But wonderful. A penny it is then.

Thank you, Lydia. With their mega earnings, you can slave people with the Astral plantation, could purchase clothes and items like coffee, sugar, and tobacco. Lydia, not allowed to re-grown up, but her mom did teacher to speak gulla. Let's talk about gulla a little bit.

Now, gulla, English-based Creole, right? Culture and Language, created by enslaved West Africans in the Sea Islands. Gulla, you know, a word for the island's culture, various ethnicities, the West African people forced to develop a common language, also called Gullah so they could communicate with each other. The Gullah culture emphasizes spiritual, music, storytelling, traditions, Saturday evenings, will reserve for celebrating culture during rare social times, everybody can get together. Very interesting how it sounds. Sometimes also called a Gichi or Gala Gichi. And this is from a YouTube channel, Gala Grits TV. Gala Gichi words

and phrases and how to use this. This is very cool. Oh my. Cool. You're for what is you? That's to heal. Neza or NAM. Neither or not one. Directly. Do you come back soon? Boba Ann. Boba Ann. Charlie. Charlie. Dotha. Dorothy. Cousin. Water. Water. Canon. Doing the most. Alright let's put it all together. Mmm. Chow the other day I had to go to my cutting Boba and then chopping them out. You know what Dotha used to say. I walk in there you know them chilling. You know how I'm a good barber and a child in the house. You know what daughter used to stay. I walk in there, you know them chilling. You know how them chilling be carrying on. So, they look good and messed around like I see. She'd be glad I had a cup of tables

for my kids, all of my place. She said, open my mouth. Did she, I could you for what else? Neither now, one of them went to take it. I had to walk about to that. You know this is the first time we didn't wear a roller. I said, I'll be back directly. They still waiting on me over there. Isn't that, that is the first time we did no at Rona. I said, I'll be back directly. They still waiting on me over there.

Isn't that a so interesting to me? That is, yeah, this dialect was, you know, invented so they could speak without the slave masters knowing what they were saying. And it's carried over, you know, to the present day. There's still many people who can speak gala. And it's, you know, just a version of English with some other words from other cultures thrown in from the Caribbean, the West Indies, some from some African words, you know, mixed in. And when spoken, even

if like 80% of the words are slang, you know, like a heavy slang of English, if you don't know how to speak gully, you're not going to know what's being said, not exactly. Because a long period of relative isolation for most whites will work on large plantations in rural areas, the Africans of the sea islands and slave from a variety of central and west African ethnic groups, they developed this distinct culture that has preserved much of their African linguistic and cultural heritage from various peoples. The total remaining gullapopulation around 200,000 today. When Robert's mom Lydia got older, she forced, she was forced to work in the fields,

see island cotton plantations. They would utilize a task system at this time, which was not implemented everywhere in the South. Each person would have a daily task based on, you know, age and abilities. It's allowed enslaved people to have at least some control over their free time. They're able to tend to their own crops and livestock,

make clothing, go hunting and fish in as long as they got their tasks done for the day. And slave people on these plantations created an internal economy where they bartered and would sell items to one another in 1805. With age nine, Liddy was taken from her family to work in Mickey house and Beaufort though. Margaret and John McKee visited their, their astale plantation for Christmas. Margaret brought oranges for the kids, small gift for each enslaved person and a yearly allotment of clothes for each person.

The other children hid from Margaret, but Lydia approached her. Margaret was impressed, decided to bring Lydia back to Buford to work as a house enslaved person. Some reward, Lydia and her mom devastated. Obviously, didn't want to be separated. Lydia was allowed to return the plantation on Sundays, but over time, you know, those visits would become fewer and far between farther between Lydia Cook clean help raise the McE children.

She was 15 when sugar bridges was born, put in charge of care and for him, possible that Lydia and sugar bridges had a close relationship because he likely spent more time with her than his own mother when sugar bridges took over the plantation 1834 Lydia would move into the slave quarters behind his house. And five years later, she gave birth to Robert and sugar bridges, you know, may have been Robert's father, but some historians doubt this because you know, Lydia was a maternal figure and they find it pretty creepy. Okay, fair.

However, I would argue, you know, steps on having sex with stepmom porn videos, super popular on porn sites like that I find to fucking very creepy level vice-mashable other sites that report on this trend for years. The fantasy of having sex with the maternal figure who isn't blood related, you know, it didn't come out of thin air. So who the hell knows just because this lady helped raise him doesn't mean he didn't have sex there. What I do know is that no one actually did call Henry McKee sugar bridges.

It's just fun for me to say. Where did Robert's last name come from? Does that indicate father, you know, like there was that guy, Smalls, that was a manager of the plantation? No, he most likely chose his last name himself when he got older. Maybe he chose it because he thought that guy was his father, but probably not. It was common custom for enslaved people at the time to choose their own last name. His crewmates on the ship, you know, he'd still for the Union Army. They would call him small or small. Could have been a nickname that

became a last name. In 1862, someone did ask Robert about surnames, you know, for enslaved people in South Carolina. And he told them that enslaved people chose their own names, but would never say that name in front of their enslaver because there was a way for them to reject the enslaver's claim upon them and assert their own identity. So, he likely, he just, you know, just picked it. It has no association with any people near. Robert grew up in the McKeehouse in Buford. He grew up cleaning sugar breaches, boots, carrying logs in for the fire, bringing water

in from the well, similar chores, food to company food to company sugar bridges untrips to the family plantation and astale nearby. And it is so fun to call them that life is such a sad heavy tail a bit Robert played with the mckee children in his free time because this he received slightly better treatment the family favored him above other slaves so much so that his mom worried he'd reach man who without grasping the true horrors of the institution into which he was born. Now interesting wonder how much this influence how ambitious and daring he later became right. He spent a lot of time with these white kids a lot of time really where he truly got to see that they were no better no different than he that that knowledge must have done wonders for his confidence self esteem, but also been a terrible burden to bear. You know,

despite knowing really truly knowing they were no better, they were not enslaved like he was. Robert really did get a unique view of both worlds growing up, that of wealthy white people and that of, you know, enslaved people, author Kate Lienberry, author of B. Free or Die, a book about Smalls wrote, no one ever lost sight of the difference in their lives. While the McKee children learned to read and write, Robert tended to their father while they slept in luxurious rooms in the main house, Robert slept near his mother in the simple slave quarters with only basic furniture and supplies. Letty atot Robert to speak gulla there. He was able to communicate

with the enslaved people at his mom's old plantation and ashtale, you know, even though he never experienced fieldwork himself, because he received preferential treatment, young Robert was able to get away with things like ignoring the city's slave curve you growing up, office state outlight with white men, something that troubled Lydia. He was given a taste of what freedom looked like, but not given actual freedom that had to focus his mind a little bit. To let him know how not free he was and what could happen to him if he kept carrying on like the white men he hung out with, his mom sent Robert to the beefers jail one day to

watch a whipping and then sent him to a slave auction. This was a big wake up call for Robert. He was outraged at the indignity of it all. He had been sheltered from this and then he became defiant and all found himself arrested and local pure for jail after this. No source to really say exactly how he showed his defiance, what he got arrested for. When enslaved people were arrested for breaking curfew, for example, if they weren't taking to jail, they would be delivered to their enslavers for punishment. Robert most

often apparently delivered to Henry. Robert said years later during the interview, I've had no trouble with my owner, but I have seen a good deal and traveling around on the plantations. I've seen stocks in which people are confined from 24 to 48 hours. When whipping, a man is tied up to a tree and gets a hundred lashes from a raw hide, a hundred lashes, fucking hundred. And I bet those hundred lashes were delivered with vigor. God, it hurt. Made me for weeks, if not months.

I continued, sometimes a man has taken to a blacksmith's shop and an iron of 60 pounds is fastened to his feet so that when it's taken off, he cannot walk for days. I've heard of whipping a woman in the family way by making a hole in the ground for her stomach. I got it. My aunt was whipped so many times until she did not have the same skin she was born with.

Robert said that enslaved people were punished for the simplest thing if it was not done to suit the owner's notion. Right, they were whipped till the blood came and then washed down with salt and water. Whew, think about some of the worst serial killers. We've covered here on time, so it can be passed. Right, the same type of person,

that same type of person existed back at this time, but I guess you know, probably didn't often have to roam the country to look for victims, they own them, and then they just could and did what they wish. Their sadism was legal. God, terrifying thought. Imagine Albert fucking fish if he was your slave master, right? No laugh. And then, Robert looks like you brought him to Long's Firewood when I clearly asked for

three. I hope you thirsty and hungry, and you got your fat bottom good and thinking of doing those squats like a showed ya. It's a time for a women They're from hot apple cider and laughing up a little poppin hot peanut about it Albert faces a slave master what fucking nightmare Nothing. He's not an hairline nightmare already. I couldn't could you know Could have been those equivalents back then probably worth not like anyone had to get a fucking psycho vow

For the became a slave owner 1851 and robbers 12 he sent to Charleston to work. Henry now sold a house on Prince Street, moved to Bay Street to be with his in-laws. William to travel, son of a senator. Will purchase Robert's bullhood home. Henry now sent Robert to Charleston 75 miles. Yeah, from Buford. Yeah, like I said, Henry received the majority of Robert's salary when he's working in Charleston.

That's interesting, right? You could go work for someone else and then send your money back to your master. When Robert first moved to Charleston, he most likely lived in the slave quarters at the home of Eliza Anker. Henry's sister-in-law, oh, sugar-britches, sister-in-law. Robert worked many jobs. First as a waiter to plan his hotel, gas lamp lighter, Steve Doerr, foreman, sail maker, then a hack driver and a rigor hack driver was a 19th century equivalent to a to a taxi driver.

Just a coach instead of a car by each 19 head many jobs, allowed to keep a dollar a week of his wages, not thinking that probably bought him too much pack horse cost about 25 bucks back then. So, you know, buck isn't going to get you locked. Robert dreamed to buy his freedom. That seemed pretty impossible because of the little money he was allowed to keep. Only the South Carolina legislature could free and slay people

and it would take years of labor to be able to forward it if they did grant him freedom, which was unlikely. The cost to do so could be basically whatever your owner decided, whatever sugar-bitches wanted. At that time, it could easily cost five, $600 to buy your freedom if your owner allowed it and if the South Carolina legislature said, okay, and he's, you know, keeping a dollar a week. So that's just not going to happen.

And Robert was a teen. He went to work at the Charleston Docks for a while. I was one of his main jobs. The job that would lead him to finding freedom in a different way. Work first as a Steve door, which I mentioned earlier, aka Longshoreman, and as a Steve door, Foreman, right, loading, unloading cargo supervising that. You'd work hoisting horses that would help load and unload vessels as well as employer was a man named John Simmons.

John liked Robert because of his work ethic. After Yuri put Robert in a rigging loft, the winner then he then taught Robert how to make rope lines and sails. And the following summer, he hired him as a sailor on a schooner, learning all kinds of maritime skills that are going to come in real handy. Robert became an expert navigator along the South Carolina, Georgia, and even Florida coast after this. On the 7th, 24th, 1856, now 17 years old, Robert marries Hannah Jones, an enslaved hotel made to work in Charleston. And it was enslaved to Samuel Kingman, worked for planners and mechanics bank in Charleston. He purchased Hannah and her three kids a decade earlier, Charlotte, Clara, baby boy named Bostic.

Bostic, not documented any records after his birth, likely died in early childhood as so many kids did back then. Hannah was a dozen years older than Robert. Scribors having a kind face and a strong spirit, showed him the ways of a lady. Hey, Lucina, together, Hannah and Robert went on to have a daughter named Elizabeth and his son, Robert Jr. Sadly, Robert Jr. will die of smallpox as a toddler. Man, rough

fucking times for parents back then, right? Before vaccines and modern medicine, as much as big pharma can go get fucked in many ways. I mean, they have collectively done a lot of good for the world. Robert loved Hannah, but he may have gotten married for more practical reasons later saying, my idea was to have a wife to prevent me from running around, to have somebody to do for me and to keep for me. Okay, very practical, not necessarily romantic. Sugar breaches and to give Robert permission to marry Hannah, and of course he gave it, then Robert got Kingsman consent, Hannah's owner, by offering to pay him $5 a month. Wow, man, clearly he's being allowed to keep more than a dollar a week now, both Hannah

and Robert in slavers allowed them to then live in a house together. Having a family member that Robert was not just concerned about himself anymore, it's worse for you now, was his family being sold to in Slaver's far from Charleston. That was always possible. Another horror to imagine. Imagine that your partner, that your kids are owned by one person and you're owned by someone else. And at any time, for any reason, either owner can sell you or your family to anyone. They please. And there's not a fucking thing you can do about it.

Not legally. Robert asked Kingman family if he could purchase wife and children's freedom. This technically was not legal. A slave buying the freedom of other slaves, but it did happen sometimes very, very, rarely. The Kingman said, yes, but they're gonna need eight hundred bucks. Robert, uh, you know, fucking did some math. He's like, goddamn it.

I've worked for a couple decades, turned that much money, uh, and save it. His realization that he would likely never be able to buy either his or his family's freedom and certainly not, uh, you know, all of their freedom would soon fuel a daring escape. The American Civil War begins April 12, 1861. Few months later, that July experienced oceanic navigator Robert as hired as a decant on the Confederate supply ship, the planter. Planta was recently converted from being a cotton steamer. Now, rented out by the Confederate Navy. The primary job he carries supplies and soldiers

between various forts and the Charleston Harbor. It's got some in James Ferguson owned the ship. The soldiers between various forts in the Charleston Harbor. Scott's been James Ferguson owned the ship. The craft was new, built in 1860, 147 feet long, made of oak and cedar. The planner was particularly valuable because he could navigate in less than four feet of water, which was necessary with all the hidden sandbars among all the sea islands along the South Carolina coast.

Ferguson originally piloted the ship to transport cotton and pastures from Charleston to Georgetown. Then when the war broke out, he leased the ship to Confederates for $125 a day. Oh, fuck yeah. Big money back then roughly equivalent to about 2200 a day now, 65,000 a month. Not bad for something to lease now. The Planner Carried Supplies, Weapon Soldiers, Dispatches all around the harbor. Planner also surveyed sand bars, destroyed federal lighthouses, or the federal lighthouse

at the Hunan Islands, helped lay torpedoes and some inlets to prevent a union attack. Then in September of 1861, ship on a Ferguson step down and Confederate captain Charles J. Raleia took over. Raleia won a Ferguson's business partners and an experienced boat pilot. Robert already knew the harbor well and his time on the planet only increased his piloting skills after just two months. He promoted the wheelman, which really meant pilot, but he wasn't allowed to be called a pilot because at the time it was not in accordance with coast wise, not a good etiquette called a black

man a pilot. All these fucking weird rules people make up to fucking stroke their own goddamn egos. Oh, so he's a pilot. Oh, it's a common mistake. No, he's a wheel man. You will, you will rouse some feathers. If you call that wheel man a pilot. Yeah, but he's fucking, but he's tearing the ship. I don't listen here. Listen, yes, son. You don't understand all the ways around here. Okay. He's a wheel man. He does not a pilot. You, you start calling him a pilot people are gonna think yeah, you are Quite friendly with the darkest sort which could lead to a serious decrease in social standing which do have Consequence the fuck is wrong with people

Uh, this promotion the wheelman critical to his escape plans over his time on the boat Robert earned the trust of two groups, the other black crew members, the white officers ran the ship. All the time he spent with white friends growing up, paying off here. Just after nearby Fort Sumner had fallen kick off to war present Lincoln, order the blockade was to be placed on all major southern ports, as I had mentioned. And Charleston was one of the largest ports in the South, right? Major supply zone blockade after it was enacted. Charleston still got supplies from blockade runners. People paid a smuggle goods into the harbor and then sneak caught and riced and shit back

out and take it to Europe. But that's pretty hard to do. A lot of times they get caught, various railroads would then deliver what supplies they could smuggle in all around the South after they're delivering Charleston. The Union would call Charleston the rat hole because there were so many channels in and out of the harbor. So it was impossible to stop all the traffic, but the union got, you know, some, uh, the union had been, uh, you know, uh, too successful.

I guess smalls, maybe never could have escaped, right? They were getting all the ships. Maybe you could have got his ship. I don't, uh, May 13th, 1862 Robert Smalls and crew of enslaved men decided to try and pull off the unthinkable. They planned to steal the planner and the middle of the night. Oh, I know why I wrote that last note, because if they were too successful, they would stole his ship before he got to fucking smug.

Good out of there. Bingo. It's all coming together. Um, yeah, May 13th, 1862. Robert Smalls, Kruven Slave Men, trying to pull off the unthinkable. They planned to steal the planner and the middle of the night, sail right out of Charleston, Harbor, not going to be easy. Of course, Confederates defending Charleston, the water around it, you know, defending

various forts, possessing various forts, including Fort Soutner, General Roswell Ripley commanded the CSS planner and all other Confederates ships in the harbor. The planner was the most valuable war vessel the Confederates had in Charleston. Robert and his crew had one plan, escape or die. If they were caught, they couldn't fight the way out. They were going to commit group suicide, so they would not be forced back into slavery. They planned to jump into the water and drown themselves. The Naval Committee reporting the escape reads, reads, Fearful was the venture, but it was made. Robert Stering escape was not planned in a rush.

He spent weeks planning preparing his crew, right? One day, a crew member joked about how much a smallest had looked like, Captain Raleia. The Raleia was off the ship at the time. And this is before he started planning. And this crew member pulled out his wide brim hat, placed on Smalls head, joked about the resemblance between the two men. This was the first spark, right?

Smalls had to start plotting his escape plan. Raleia and the White Officers would leave the ship most nights. They did this often because they liked to visit their wives and kids in the city, even though this was a direct violation of General Orders number five, requiring White Officers and crews to stay on board 24-7 if their vessel was docked in the harbor, even though this was a direct violation of general orders, number five, requiring white officers and crews to stay on board 24, seven if their vessel was docked in the harbor, which the planter was.

If Captain La got caught for this, you know, he'd face court martial. The fact that he kept doing it anyway, showed how much he trusted Robert. Lucky for Robert, Raleia, also, yeah, you know, continue to leave his hat in the pilot house when he's off duty. So now Robert plans to deal with ship by impersonating Captain Raleia. Robert tells the man he's planning this with to not ever joke about the escape on the ship. Don't raise any suspicions and ask them if they were serious to meet at his house so they could really get to planning. Robert knew that since September 1861, the union officers creating the poor blockade have been accepting escaped enslaved people.

Most escaped enslaved people had made it to the blockade in canoes, no one had ever still on a massive ship before, which a few weeks earlier, group of 15 enslaved people had seized the barge on the waterfront and rode that to the Union fleet. That barge belonged to General Ripley, right? Commander of the planner, he was furious that enslaved people had outsmarted him. Smalls knew that his escape would now, you know, be a little harder. He's going to be looking even more closely. And it was already going to be so hard, you have to pass two forts, Johnson And he's going to be looking even more closely. And it was already going to be so hard. You have to pass two forts, Johnson and Soutner, as well as gun batteries, additional

ones along the shore and guard ships. The planner made lots of smoke and noise to be impossible to slip away, you know, in silence. You'd have to trick the forts, trick other people thinking and thinking he's on a routine mission. The main obstacle to his plan seemed overwhelming, right? Making sure none of the three white officers would be on board, avoiding detection from numerous guards along the coast, where the ship was docked, picking up passengers passing by forts, finally convincing the union blockade officers not to fucking shoot them out of the water. Robert normally worked with

the crew of 10 men, including three white officers, Captain Charles, J. Verla, first mate, Samuel Smith, Hancock, and engineer Samuel Z. Pitcher. The black crew of seven men acted as engineers, deck hands, and in small's case, Wilman, John Small, Alfred Gordine, they were the engineers, David Jones, Jack Gibbs, Gabriel Turner, Abraham Jackson, were deck hands, three additional men, Abraham Austin, William Morrison, and Samuel Chisholm, also recruited to help their escape plan. Robert didn't really want to tell any additional people about his plan, but he knew he needed a little extra manpower to pull it off. He had to put his trust in his crew, hope they wouldn't say anything.

He told him about his escape plans during their meeting in either late April or early May. Three other men that came that were not part of the crew were friends and neighbors who had experienced in the water. Author Kate Limeberry wrote, their individual decisions could not have been easy. All knew that whatever they decided in that moment would affect the rest of their lives. It was still quite possible that the Confederacy

would win the war. If it did, staying behind men, enduring lives of servitude. The promise of freedom was so strong and the thought of remaining in slavery, so abhorrent. But these considerations ultimately convinced the men to join smalls. For the meeting ended, all had agreed to take part in the escape and to be ready to act whenever smalls decided it was time.

Robert decided to tell Hannah his plan, but asked her to tell no one else. She asked that what would happen if he got caught and he simply told her, I shall be shot. If they were caught, all the men would die and the women and children would likely be whipped and sold. Although she was afraid Hannah wanted nothing more than freedom for herself and her family. So she agreed to go and told Robert, it is a risk dear, but you and I and our little ones must be free. I will go for where you die, I will die. Okay, so there was, wasn't just practical, they're marriage, a lot of love there.

Elizabeth, just four years old, poor Robert Jr. would not live much longer just a baby. This time the journey would be difficult with children, but Robert and Hannah could not leave them behind. Robert and a start to Hannah to be ready to escape whenever he told her it was time. Hannah was forbidden to tell other women anything until the last possible moment to protect the mission. Just told some friends to get ready. Something's going down while the crew waited. They worried about deckhand David Jones, Gordine, or I'm sorry, David Jones, Gordine said of Jones. He was given to talk whenever

he got hold of whiskey. He wanted to tell all he knew. Oh, the eternal enemy of the secret plan, the drunken overshare. Jones was losing his nerve and they were scared he confessed to planned officers according to Gordine. He was all right at first, but after a few days he began to weaken and predict his disaster. And was evidently ready to give the whole thing away.

This emergency, we got at him one night and threatened his master and was evidently ready to give the whole thing away. This emergency, we got out of him one night and threatened his life. He did not brace up and thus frightened him to being steadfast like how eloquently the fucking threat in this motherfucker into shutting the fuck up. You know, they're going to kill him, but the way he wrote it, if this emergency, we got out of him one night, threatened his life. If he did not brace up and thus frightened him into being steadfast. The crew spent two weeks making supply runs all around the harbor. They removed the canter from Coles Island near the mouth of the stone river. It's a part of the Confederate

effort to put their limited supplies and strategic locations on May 12th. Crew picked up four cannons, 42 pound rifle, smaller guns, 200 pounds of ammo. Smalls was loving this as they're doing this as part of their Confederate duties because he's like, okay, this is going to make the ship more valuable to the union. It'll make me a hero. Then he knew the White Osters. You know, we're going to leave again, you know, this night on May 12th, conveniently the Confederate guard boat that monitor the entrance to the harbor also had a commission this night.

And Robert knew that the next day on May 13th, the Confederates were going to put Charleston under martial law in anticipation of a union attack. So it was now or never. The plan to return to Charleston, Docs, the afternoon of the 12th, scheduled to go out again in the morning, another supply delivery. So the ship was Docs, but you know 200 rounds of ammo, 32 round pivot fan, 24 pound howitzer, four other guns, food, whatnot. Small tells his men it's fucking time. But two immediate problems present themselves. Problem one one handcock announces That he's now gonna sleep on the ship one of the white crew

The black crew is surprised now. This is not his normal routine. Well, they can't access spacious Small tells his men fuck it. We're still going according to Gordine He said he wouldn't give up saying that he would do the lock the mate in the state room or kill him It was finally decided to go ahead But we had scarcely come to that conclusion when the man went ashore and thus saved his bacon. If he had remained with us, he'd have either been carried out to see his a captive or thrown overboard as a corpse.

I love how this guy writes. Problem two, that can's Jones and Gibbs felt the risk was too great and they changed their minds. And now the crew worried that they were gonna snitch. They also lost two crew members, which would make it in the ship to the blockade a bit harder. But they were going to snitch. They also lost a troop, you know, they'd also now lost two crew members, which would make it in the ship to the blockade a bit harder, but they're going anyway. Later that night, Hannah arrives with Elizabeth, Robert, Junior and Clara, Charlotte, Hannah's oldest daughter chose to stay behind with her family.

John's smalls wife and daughter, Joinder, Levine Wilson, and slave to a bank cashier, and Anna White, no information known about her other than her name, also joined this group. Hannah brings them all to the planner, but won't tell them why. Smart, right? The men won't let them leave, even though they needed to be home before the 9 p.m. curfew, smalls, waits until the last minute to reveal his plan. It's too dangerous to let people know too soon. The women are terrified when they find out, according to Gordine, they cried and prayed

and entreated. And if smalls hadn't had the grit of a bulldog, he would have let, he would have let go. It took an hour to calm those women down. And then we locked them in the and then we locked them in the state rooms and threatened to kill the first one who made a loud noise. All right, so you know, a circle.

What, but I mean, rightfully so, we're about getting fucking killed, whipped, you know, separated from the kids, all kinds of stuff. The group then made their final preparations in their emergency plans. If they got caught and weren't killed immediately, right? They're gonna jump overboard, drown themselves. At they got caught and weren't killed immediately, right, they're going to jump overboard, drown themselves.

At midnight, three of the crew go with the women to the Edawon ship tied up with the North Atlantic War. With everything ready, the men have to wait and stew and their anxiety. So I guess they're going to keep some of the women safer now in case something happens to try and get out of the harbor, they won't go down with them, they have them wait until they're moving a little further away. They can't leave to our leaves. They got us get to Fort Sumner before first light. They may be stopped if they're too late, you know, people are going to see a black crew piloting

in a ship with no white officers, which means certain death. Two a.m. smalls puts Rayless straw hat on to hide his face and he's going for it. Orges the crew to put up the boiler, hoist the South Carolina and the Confederate flags, get this shit moving. Now they got another problem. Wind, right? The wind is going to blow the smell of smoke into the city and possibly draw attention. There was a massive fire in the city five months earlier, so the police were primed to respond to the smell of smoke. The men waited thinking that they might get, you know, their plans shot down the last second, but no, police ever came. They ease

on out of the dock and full view of General Ripley's headquarters, the Chicago Tribune, would write it this years later in 1882, the design was hazardous in the extreme. The little boat would have to pass beneath the guns of the batteries and the harbor. Failure and detection would have been certain death. Fearful was the venture, but it was made. The daring resolution had been formed, and under command of Robert Smalls, the wheelsman, steam was put on. And with her valuable cargo of guns and ammunition intended for Fort Ripley a new

Fortification just constructed in the harbor about two o'clock in the morning the planter Finally moved off from her dock steamed up to the North Atlantic Warf Smalls blew the first whistle to signal to the ship was preparing for normal duties and they passed without incident The ship has to confederate gargis 50 away. A police detective also watched the ship depart. Neither one of them ever raised an alarm. Small mose been fucking sweating. Other planter stopped the North Atlantic War to pick up the other passengers.

The crew picked up the women and children at this rendezvous point. Now they got 17 passengers, nine men, five women, three kids. Smalls later said the boat moved so slowly up to her place. We did not have to throw a plank or tie rope. The women and children then went below deck while the men stayed on board. 325 am, the planter continues on from his position in the pilot house. Robert blows the ship's whistle while passing Fort Johnson.

Fort Johnson had two batteries, three guns each. The crew passes again without incident. They then passed Confederate boat patrolling the harbor without incident. When they passed the guard boat, Smalls rings for more steam. Gordine later said, we gave it to him down in the engine room, knowing that the crisis had come, but not able to tell just where we were. John and I were alone down there. When the call came for a full head of steam, I was taken so weak that I could hardly stand. And when I looked at John, his face was the color of wood ashes. We were both scared as rabbits in front of a dog. And it was the same with all others except

Robert Smalls. If he lost his nerve for a single minute, no one noticed it. Again, I wish this court in doubt it written so much more. The plan of then passed an anchored gunboat. Smalls saluted the boat with whistle. They then passed a brig with two barges. Smalls actually shouted a greeting to the brig's pilot. He was good, smooth. And if being out there around all that saltwater caused this guy steals balls to ever rust. God, this guy had fucking big balls for a 415 AM. The planer approaches Fort Sumner, the more fearful part of the journey.

The Confederates had constructed a log boom across the channel, left a gap to allow block K runners through though. Any vessel passing through head to pass under the force cannon. Smalls pulled the whistle cord for the correct signal to long pulls and a jerk, even fold his arms to mimic Captain Raleia, the Sentinel on the parapet called for the corporal guard reported the guard boat going out. This soldier didn't realize that the guard boat was out of commission and the planner was not the guard boat guard boat.

Crew member Gordine said when we drew near the fort every man, but Robert Smalls felt his knees given away and the women began crying and praying. The centric guarding the fort yelled, blow the damn Yankees to hell, bring one of them in. And Robert responded, I only shit how much sweat was dripping down the crack of his ass that point. Justice group has fort Sumner captain relay arrived for duty finds his fucking ship missing. Oh Instead of sounding in alarm because he would get in serious trouble if he couldn't find it. He asked around the harbor

Have you seen a giant fucking ship? I can't remember where listening. You know, sometimes I lose my keys sometimes I lose my whole fucking ship The Confederate guards at the you know fort noticed that you, planted was heading straight for the Union blockade. They tried to signal the troops on Morris Island now, but the ship was out of fire and range. The alarm was down to just out for the ship, pass out a range, right? They're just fucking catching so many bricks.

Now the ship is heading straight for the Union blockade. Smallest orders of crew to replace the flags with a white bed sheet brought aboard by Hannah. According to Gordini again, for a half an hour, we expected to hear the boom of a big gun at any instant. And when we finally got out of range and realized we'd actually escaped, there was more weeping and praying and singing of how to lose songs. The plan of first encounter the USS onward at the head of the blockade and the ship's crew almost then, you know, gets killed. The onwards crew almost fires on the planner, but Robert's

crew, you know, they had that white sheet out, you know, in time to signal their surrender. So many close calls, acting volunteer lieutenant, Jay Frederick Nichols, the USS onward, actually ordered his sailors to open her ports and fire due to little miscommunication in the final moments of the impossible escape, but the rising sun would save the planner because before firing, you know, they were able to see that sheet. The Chicago Tribune would report in 1882 again. In the misty morning, a frigate was described off the bar. The planner approached her in the mist, the white flag was not seen. And to the terror and surprise, the

planters crew, the strange ship, hover round and presented her broadside and opened her ports. One of the officers on the quarter deck discerned the flag of truce. The vessels are now within a hailing distance in the captain of the Union ship asked what boat that was and what she wanted. Their plight was given and the planters errand explained. The captain ordered her to come alongside, but his order was not heard by smalls and his men who proceeded to go around the stern of the ship when they were brought to a standstill by the captain's thundering tones as he called out. Stop or I will blow you out of the water. And I went this later recounted just as number three port gun was being elevated.

Someone cried out, I see something that looks like a white flag. And true enough, there was something flying on the steamer that would have been white by application soap and water. And she neared us, we looked in vain for the face of a white man when they discovered that we would not fire in them. There was a rush of contrabands out on her deck, some dancing, some singing, whistling, jumping, others stood looking towards Fort Sonner and muttering all sorts of maladictions against it and the heart of the South generally. As a steamer came near under the stern of the onward, one of the colored men stepped forward

and taking off his hat shouted, Good Morning, sir. I've brought you some of the old United States guns, sir. On a fucking great moment. Smalls, broad guns, ammo and important documents, shipping routes, signaling, mine locations, docking, and departure times at quite the bounty. His info led directly to the capture of Cole's island just a week after his escape. Lieutenant Nichols now transferred the planner to his commander, Captain EG Parrot of the USS Augusta. Barrett forwarded the ship to flag officer Samuel Francis DePont at Port Royal with a letter describing small as very intelligent contraband.

That's contraband. It's just one of their terms for African Americans. Dupont was impressed by the story, wrote to the Navy, Secretary in Washington that Robert was a bad motherfucker who had just done the union a huge solid. Robert's daring escape reported in papers around the union, making him a national phenomenon, became a war here on the North enemy in the South. The Confederates issued a $2,000 reward for his capture and Roberts escaped greatly encouraged President Lincoln to now allow free black men to serve in the Union Army.

Smalls personally met with Secretary of War Edwin Stan and President Lincoln to convince them to enlist black soldiers and he did convince them. He personally delivered orders from the Secretary of War to a Brigadier General authorizing the very first regiment of black soldiers to serve in the union army. Hail fucking Nimrod and hail Robert Smalls. He done did it. On May 30th 1862, Congress passed a private bill authorizing the navy to appraise the planner and award Smalls and the crew half the proceeds for rescuing the ship from the

Confederates. Congress awarded Smalls $1500, which was actually way less than half. This will come up later. He'll kind of sue that many years later to get more than money. So symbolically, a nice move, but also kind of a shitty move because they actually did not give him half the proceeds. He didn't went on speaking to her across the country to talk about his escape and recruit black soldiers for the army.

He claimed to have recruited up to 5,000 soldiers himself, and then he went to fight in the war himself, joined the Navy. But despite his daring escape, he initially not allowed a pilot ship, not officially. According to the Chicago Tribune again, it was found that although the services of smalls would be invaluable as a pilot, yet that he could not receive pay as such. There means some regulation in the service requiring these officers to have been graduates of some naval school. Smalls received a commission as second lieutenant of company B, though.

Third and third regiment, United States, colored troops. And he went on to conduct 17 missions in the Charleston area. And June of 1862, Smalls traveled to South Carolina's at Desto Island to join Union Captain Ryan and his gunboats. He piloted the plan and Ryan's gunboat, the crusader up to Simmons Bluff on Wadmola Sound just outside of Charleston. Smalls now fought directly against Confederate ships, possibly crewed by men from the area that he made of went out drinking with, growing up and helped drive the Confederates out of

the area. Nice. How good most of that shit felt. Smalls continued piloting, acting as a blockade in pilot between Charleston and Buford. He went up and down coastal rivers, identifying, removing torpedoes. They've been planted much like, you know, mines. Sounds, sounds terrible. On October 2, 1862, Smalls to Ponte and his crew attended a public reception in New York. New York Times published an article about the reception saying Robert Smalls

entered the house and was received with deafening cheers. A few minutes later, he was presented on behalf of the black community with a very handsome gold medal, executed by Baldwin Black, with the following inscription presented to Robert Smalls by the colored citizens of New York, October 2, 1862, as a token of regard for his heroism, his love of liberty and his patriotism. Well, hail, Memrot! In April 1863, Robert piloted another uninship, the Kiakook, in the Battle of Fort Sumner,

and the attack at Folly Island Creek. Kiakook took several hits, eventually sank out of the battle, well, more than several, and the attack the Kiolly Island Creek. Kee-A-Cook took several hits eventually sank out of the battle. Well, more than several. And the attack the Kee-A-Cook was struck 96 times. Goddamn. 19 shots passed through her. She retired from the engagement only to sink the next morning near Lighthouse inlet. Smalls left her just before she went down, taken on board, iron sights.

And dudes say what that's shared right up until it went under. Dude was on that ship as he got hit, fucking 96 times. But something he was the boat pilot equivalent of like Han Solo. That's some skills. He could do a lot with the damage craft. During the attack on Follon Island Creek, Captain Nicholson piloted the planter, Confederate batteries, fired at the ship.

Nicholson became demoralized, left the pilot house at some point, and then smalls who was now on deck, saw the empty pilot house, assumed control the ship, and sailed it to safety. And he was rewarded for his service by being given full command of the planner later that year. This made him the first black man to become a true captain of a vessel in U.S. service. Here in a salary now of $150 a month, which made him one of the highest pay black soldiers

of the war. Mals continued piloting the planner for the rest of the war, right? The ship served admirably as a union supply boat. On December 30th, 1864, while awaiting repairs to the planner in Philadelphia, despite being goddamn war hero, Robert is removed from an all white street car. slavery didn't exist up north, but segregation sure as fuck did. In the following months, he would lead one of the first mass boycotts of segregated public transportation.

I imagine forming some political ideals as well. His work paid off a few years later in 1867 when a city law would finally integrate the street cars there. The Civil War ends April 9th, 1865, starting a new chapter in Robert Small's life. After the war, he's awarded in a ceremony aboard the planter in the same harbor where he'd escaped nearly three years earlier. How good that must have felt. hometown boy makes good. Also, how many of the white people back home must have fucking hated him. Considered him a traitor,

what a strange homecoming that must have been, but also, you know, fucking people not happy for him when in the freedom of himself as family and everyone in the area that shared his race. Wonder how old Sugar Riches felt about it all. After the war, Smalls now commissioned as a Brigadier General in the new South Carolina militia.

And this had to have felt so good now he purchases his former enslavers home in Buford. The home sugar-bitches had sold to William de Trifle, that's him to the son. After buying the home, he also took in some of the McKee family who are financially destitute now after the war. How cool is that of him and also how awkward was that for, you know, the McKee's? One of the McKee's ever forgot how the tides had turned on their fate. Maybe sometimes fell into old habits, said awkward shit. Robert fetched me some firewood at once. Excuse me? I said fetch me some firewood before I have you

whipped. What the fuck? I own this house now. Say whip again. It would be sleeping in the goddamn swamp tonight. The trevv fled Buford after the war, be sleeping in the goddamn swamp tonight. Uh, the trevv fled Buford after the war, which opened up the house for Robert Smalls. Hadn't paid his taxes. Now Robert is able to buy it. The trevv would later sue Smalls. Lame the tax sale was invalid in the case. We'll go all the way to the Supreme Court. And in 1878, the court would uphold Smalls title. Him being a war hero. No doubt helped him there. And that ruling would help many other black people keep their homes after the war. 1867. Robert opens a general store, a school for black children, and finds a newspaper and Buford. How damn I like this guy? War hero with empathy,

taking some people who used to own him, and now give him back to community. 28 now. He spends a great deal of time educating himself, reading, writing, studying the government. Should he never had the opportunity to do before. He runs the Friedman's cheap store with Richard Gleeves, one of his mentors. Gleeves going to become the tenant governor of South Carolina, highest office ever held by a black man in state history. Smalls also became one of the founders

of the Enterprise Railroad Company of Charleston, soon held interest in the Bufert Railroad Company and Bufert Manufacturing Improvement Company. Also purchases houses and land around Buford. Dude was a fucking mover and a shaker making power moves. Smalls made enough money to send his daughters to the best schools accepting black students in the country. He gave them a childhood and he had previously never imagined possible for them.

And then he also goes into politics. First serves as a delicate to South Carolina's constitutional convention. Then he's elected to the South Carolina House of Representatives in the state Senate. Between 1874 and 1887, he would serve five terms in the U.S. House of Representatives, as a member of the Republican Party. Robert Representative to South Carolina District called Black Paradise because of all the political opportunities there for Black men. He was the most popular candidate of the area, largely because he spoke gulla.

And did you know that in the mid 90s, so random, Nickelodeon had a kid show based on Gulla culture called Gulla Gulla Island. No idea, would've never known about it, if not for this episode, on a play a little bit of the theme song. Hey there! Go La Go La! Go La Go La! Let's play together in the bright sunny weather!

Let's all go to Go La Go La! I land! Go La Go La! Let's get you! Let's do their whole week! Go La Go La! I land! Go La Go La! You get it. That's fun. That's no idea. Ran on Nickelodeon for several years. And Nick Jr., I think specifically. Now, a Democrat's called Smalls a blemish.

I'm sure a lot of other words, a way of fucking worse than that one, and he made many attempts to remove him from the House of Representatives. From 1868 to 1870, he would serve in the South Carolina House of Representatives, you know, the State House. From 1878 to 1874, he served in the State Senate where he would act as chair of the printing committee. After this, Robert would serve three non-consecutive terms in the U.S. House of Representatives in DC.

1875 to 1879, 1882 to 1883, 1884 to 1887. His most outstanding action was supporting a bill that required equal accommodations for both races on interstate conveyances. How's that? You had to fight to have additional accommodations for black Americans, right? That fighting to stay in the same accommodations. Oh, that was completely unreasonable. That is clearly out of the question.

I was out of order on 1874 due to redistricting. Robert has the opportunity to run for the House representatives for the first time. South Eastern District of South Carolina with a major, you know, majority black constituency 68%. He beats independent nominee JPM Epi, a white man who ran on a reform platform opposing the Republican state government. And Robert wins roughly 80% of the district's votes, landslide victory. He's a second black Republican to be admitted to Congress by unseating a white Democrat.

The first John Arlench from Mississippi may have to suck that interesting dude one day. Congressman in the 1870s, again in the 1880s, then becomes a lawyer in his late 40s, then just before the turn of the century in his 50s, embarks on a military career that will last over 10 years and take him all the way to the Philippines. It becomes a major and some getting buried in Arlington National Cemetery live until the age of 92. Smart, interesting, tough dude. Back to smallest from 1875 to 1870.

70 serves as a first term as member of the 44th Congress. During his first year, he earns a position on the Agriculture Committee, obtains appropriations to improve the Port Royal Harbor, seeks federal compensation for the government's use of the Citadel, Charleston's military academy. In June 1876, he attempts to add an anti-discrimination amendment to an army reorganization bill that required the race no longer effect to soldiers' placement. It didn't take, but he fucking tried. July of 1876, Smalls addressed a bill to redeploy

federal troops stationed along Mexico, Texas, borders, South Carolina. He didn't want to relocate the federal troops already stationed in South Carolina, because private red shirt, private red shirt, malicious, a South Carolina white supremacist group would then wage war on the government in free blacks. Smalls argue that moving more federal soldiers to the state would cut off that rotten parts, excuse me. Cut off that rotten part all around South Carolina. So as to lift a core stand, it is those rotten parts, which are troubling us. We are getting along all right ourselves. He was never intimidated by those assholes kept cool and rational, sought the best plan to reduce their ignorant power. During his 1876 election campaign, Smalls toured the state with Republican governor, Daniel

Chamberlain, and he once attended a rally in Edgefield, South Carolina, and at the rally, Red Shirt Leader and former Confederate General Matthew Butler took over the meeting and threatened Smalls. And Smalls was not intimidated. Smalls opponent, Democrat, George D. Tillman made things worse. The New York Times called Tillman a Democratic tiger, violent in his treatment of Republicans in Cendiary in his language and advising all sorts of illegal measures to restrain Republicans from voting.

That's a very nice, you know, kind of formal way of saying this guy is a complete piece of shit. Smalls and not back down publicly called Tillman, the personification of red shirt democracy and the arch enemy of my race. Yep. That racist fuck needs to die. That's what I took for that. And then smalls won the fucking 1876 election.

Luckily the governor, uh, station, federal soldiers around local polling places so that red shirts were allowed to intimidate voters. Uh, the piece of shit Tillman contested the military presence, hoped the Democrat dominated Congress would rule in his favor. Smalls defended himself in the final session the forty fourth congress describing south carolina's election day as a carnival of bloodshed violence due to democratic intimidation uh... george ddellman really was uh... george dtoman really was a fucking prick he was actually a big

buddy not kidding of the dipshit president andrew uh... help me mom before i can't read johnson uh... for eighteen seventy seven eighteen seventy nine ro Robert would serve as a member of the 45th Congress. Take a position on the committee of the militia, uh, but then being a black politician to South catches up with him in a bad way. October 5th, 1877, Smalls arrested and buford on bullshit, trumped up bribery charges. Accused of exception to $5,000 bribe. Well, working the state Senate, uh, on October 6th, Smalls arrives in Columbia,

South Carolina to face these charges of bribery. On October 7th, he's released on $5,000 bail pending trial. Then on November 26th, he's convicted of accepting a bribe and sentenced to three years prison with hard labor. Robert, not the only man convicted that day, Francis L. Cardoso, ex-state treasurer, L. Cascarpender, former proprietor of newspapers, published the state capital, Francis L. Cardozo, ex state treasurer, L. Caspcarpenter, former proprietor of newspapers published the state capital also convicted. Cardozo sends to two years, $4,000 fine, Carpenter sends to two years, and a $1,000 fine, two years in jail. Many believe

this case, yeah, against Robert totally politically motivated, very likely politically motivated, I mean, 99.9% sure. Republicans outraged newspapers, blame Democrats for targeting smalls because he's a successful black politician and businessman. They want him out of the house. On November 29th, 1877, Robert released from jail on a $10,000 bail pending his appeal with South Carolina Supreme Court returns to Washington to face Tillman's election challenge before the Democrat majority committee on elections. The committee of white Democrats ruled in Tillman's favor, who was a white Democrat?

What are the odds of that? On June, 2018, 78, just before the end of the second session, Robert keeps his seat because the entire House of Representatives never considered the findings of the election. This was considered a important symbolic victory for Republicans because Robert spent so much time fighting the bribery allegations, wasn't able to accomplish much legislation that term. Uh, during the 1878 elections, Smalls appeal still unresolved. His chances of winning this year are slim, Tillman launches a smear campaign against him based

on the bribery conviction. Uh, black people also scared to vote because of threats from white supremacists in the area, Tillman wins 71% of the votes. Then worst news. December 1878, the state Supreme Court affirms Robert's conviction. Right, he appeals to the state Supreme Court affirms Robert's conviction. Right? He appeals to us Supreme Court now. 1879, over a year after being charged, Robert's conviction is resolved. So, okay. So got got got through all that Robert's case. Yeah, taken it by the house, referred to the judiciary committee and they ruled in a lot of old time you legal speak that the charges were fucking bullshit. Don't even worry about it. April 29

to put an exclamation point on his innocence. I know so many trials, so many hearings. The 1879 Democratic South Carolina governor, William Simpson, pardon, smalls. Right? Let's put all this shit fucking behind us. C. Island observer, Laura Towne would write about what happened to smalls this time in her diary. Robert S. is very cheerful and says that the outrageous bulldozing and cheating in his

last election is the best thing that could happen for the Republican Party for it has been so bare face and open that it cannot be denied. Smalls, Smalls knew he was still popular among Buford for Republicans and hoped to get his seat back. 1880 campaigns for another term in the house. It was difficult at the time for him to get black voters on his side though because fears of returning to slavery or fading, black voters, uh, primary reason for aligning with Republicans thus far, and many are unhappy with some recent Republican corruption scandals. States parties in chaos because the South Carolina Republican Convention couldn't even nominate a state ticket. A local journalist wrote smalls attachment to the disorganized and disgraced state party proved

to be the strongest point of attack for democratic opponents and he loses the election, only gets 40% of the votes. Uh, then calls for a hearing though before the Republican majority 47th Congress. On July 18th, 1882, he appears before the committee on elections, he wins the committee's support by testifying that his supporters have been scared away from the polls. Right again, and he's right. And the House knows it's, and they see it small as another victory. Now he gets back to his positions on agriculture and militia committees. It was the same situation as last time. He didn't have

much time to legislate because of a contested election. But then during the next election the Democrats, Jerry Mandler, the state so that only one district will be likely to elect a black candidate. This district contained one fourth of the state's black population. And Robert was now running against two men, black politicians, Samuel Lee, friend and ally, and representative Edmund Mackie, smalls referred to Mackie to present an image of party unity. Shortly thereafter in 1883, Robert's wife, Hannah dies unexpectedly. Following her death, he runs again. All right, he's just never stops. Now wins again 1850 or 1880, 40, 1885.

He services a member of the 48th Congress. He only ran because on January 28th, Edward Mackie died unexpectedly just after winning against Samuel Lee. Lee had already taken a federal patronage position in Alabama. Smalls wins in a special election without opposition. March 31st, he took four. He takes office for the 48th Congress. He proposes federal debt relief for South Carolinians, lost their property due to non-payment

of war taxes but the house rejects this but proposal he then worked on a amendment to a bill regulating the manufacturer say over liquor in washington dc offers an amendment that would integrate restaurants in dc after much debate is added to the bill the bill passes in the house but the senate rejects it again he's he's trying

in the summer of eighteen eighty four coalition black state centers in south colina nominate small first-seat in Senate. But it's not meant to be. And he loses 31 to 3 to Democratic governor Wade Hampton. So now he campaigns again for the House and wins again in the 1884 election against Democrat William Elliott. Winds in a state really settling into some Jim Crow shit now. From 1885 to 1887, he'll serve as a member of the 49th Congress. Smalls asked Congress to approve a $50 a month pension from Maria Hunter at this time, widow

of General David Hunter, one of the first white commanders in the union to raise black regiments in the war. Lead them. Hunter also issued an order to free and slave people in Florida, Georgia and South Carolina. Democrats oppose Smalls request, though, because of Hunter's slashing burn strategy in the Shenandoah Valley and for his lack of support of defendants rights in the trial of the conspirators and President Lincoln's assassination. Oh boy. Smalls gave an impassioned speech to the House. Can it be that there is a secret or sinister

motive, either personal or political? Can it be that this is your revenge for all of his patriotic conduct? Yep, just call them out. You piece of shit. You fucking lost the war and you're pissed about it and now you're not going to do the right thing. The bill passes in the House and sent up a president and Grover Cleveland vetoes it now. So the case should have been handled by the pension bureau. Weak Grover, I bet he vetoed it because it was worried about the optics of how it would look with his constituents if he didn't. Same old shit that happens today. Robert also proposes a bill that allows the redemption of school farmlands outside of UFURT that are owned by the federal government.

He submits a resolution requesting relief funds after 1886 flood destroys crops and homes in the district. The house refuses though to provide those funds. Hard times being a politician. Then during the 1886 election, he spaces opposition from a black politician Henry Thompson. He will lose and his career in DC is finally over. But not done with government work quite yet between 1889 and 1913, he'll serve as a US customs collector back in Buford serves two non consecutive terms from 1889 to 19 1892 and 1899 to 1913. Appointed to the position by Republican president Benjamin Harrison held his post until

Republicans lost the White House and returns when Republican William McKinley takes back the White House. And then Smalls leaves his post 1913 when Democrats take over the government yet again and then back it up a little bit here before 1890 in the age of 50 at the age of 51, Robert remarried to any wick thirty four year old teacher from trolston they have a son together named William robbert born in eighteen ninety two

uh... before he took that u.s. customs collector job in a buford uh... robbert had been offered a u.s. army colonel's commission in the Spanish-American war and the post of u.s. minister to library but he declined both job offers to stay with Annie in Buford and their son. Also, you know, before he retires from government service in 1895, Robert had delivered a speech before the South Carolina consitual constitutional, excuse me, convention to prevent a disenfranchisement of black people, or he gave a now famous quote, my race needs no

special defense for the past history of them in this country proves them to be equal to any people anywhere. All they need is an equal chance in the battle of life. Yep. I 1895, Robert II wife Annie would die unexpectedly rather than wallow and despair that tough son of a bitch kept fighting for what was fair when he done his whole life following year in 1896. He went before Congress to try and get that full money for his actions during the war,

that prize money They didn't pay him enough for that ship he brought to them he brought forth a bill to the house We can receive $20,000 for the performance of one of the most daring feats of the rebellion Wasn't the first time he brought this measure before the committee but this time they did reimburse him $5,000 in addition to the $2,000 you got before so probably still not the The fair amount but but more 15 years later. Okay. Now jumping ahead after he's retired from the government, February 23rd, 1915. Right. He passes away in his home with the age of 75 from diabetes related complications and malaria.

Right. After a quite final couple of years in his hometown running this business, spending time with his family, you know, and have the deal with Jim Crow bullshit. The item of something or newspaper wrote, General Robert Smalls, the Bob Smalls radical fame, one of the most notorious figures of the Black regime, which was overthrown by the Hampton Revolution of 1876, died at his home here Tuesday, 23rd. Smalls, as I mentioned earlier, buried behind a bust at the Tabernacle Baptist Church Cemetery. And it seems that despite all the bullshed he lived through, he died a happy man. I hope he did. He had a whole hell of a lot during his life, and he never seemed to let the bastards grind

him down. Good job, soldier. You've made it back. Barely. Robert Motherfucking Smalls. What a life lived, right? Hope I did some of it, a history justice. So many accomplishments, so much spirit. Born in the slave quarters of a home in Buford, South Carolina, never knew his father, but likely probably raised by the man in a way that was his father also enslaved by that man. He lived the first third of his life as an

enslaved man. He and his mother worked of his life as an enslaved man. He and his mother worked inside the McKee family home. Lydia made sure to expose her son to the true horrors of slavery, which made Robert rebellious, lit a fire in him to fight for what was right. Never went out. Then you know, knew he wanted to fight against the unjust institution of slavery as a teenager. Robert worked on the Charleston docks where he learned how to manage his ship, how to sail along the South Carolina coast.

Age 17, he got married to Hannah Jones. Now wanted nothing more than to buy his family's freedom, but it wasn't possible because it was low salary and the terrible unjust times he lived in. When the Civil War started in 1861, Robert sent to work on the planner, Confederate supply ship, and he figured out a new path to freedom. He worked on the planner for almost a year when he got the idea to steal his ship and sail to the Union blockade, which would rescue him and his family and release them from the chains of racial bondage. Robert trusted his plan to a small crew of other enslaved men

and three enslaved friends. Together, these men planned an escape to seem impossible. And the men didn't back out. I don't know the ones that didn't back out. That's the last moment they carried out that plan. Under the cover of darkness, Robert impersonated the ship's captain, sailed to two Confederate forts, passed numerous other Confederates over the previous months. He'd memorized all the proper signals to make it seem like he was just on a routine mission. And now he and his family escaped unharmed. Robert proceeded to serve then in the Union Navy for the remainder of the war and recruit thousands of black soldiers to help the North win, also far for the Union as the first black ship captain. After

the war, Robert participated in a reconstruction of the South by opening a school store, serving in local politics. Then he got back to fighting, you know, the worst ways of the South by participating in the South Carolina State legislature and the US House representatives. Small side power and influence represented hope for black members of the Republican Party. His main accomplishments were fighting for equal voting rights and anti discrimination laws. Robert faced racism, jail threats from hate groups, constant political attacks from white Democrats during his long tenure in politics never let any of that scary him away. He was determined to service community no matter who threatened him with what.

He finally retired from his position as Buford Customs collector in 1913, retiring from public service at the age of 73 and then dying two years later, 1915 in the same home he was born in as an enslaved person in the home. He then, you know, had to take a white man to the Supreme Court to keep. Robert Smalls was and still is an inspiration for so many. He valued hard work and determination never gave up, never stopped fighting a symbol of success during the time and the majority of people in the country he lived in, the country he'd fought for were so totally against a black man succeeding. He gave a hope to thousands of people in the South, despite whatever obstacles they faced,

and there were many, they could still change their lives for the better. And now he gives hope to me, and maybe to you. What inspiration are you going to draw from him? I feel a little silly when I think about what I'm taking from him. You know, I privately bitched quite a bit about how much harder it was to do stand up and create content in the past few years and a culture that, you know, increasingly became polarized and easily triggered. So it was the offended bitch about being worried about how an sizable chunk of the audience here turn on me, seeing all this crumble turn to dust, because maybe a refuse to pick the far right or the far left stands on this or that. I was worried that by not appearing to support BLM and the way some wanted or by not appearing to support law enforcement and some way wanted or in the way some wanted by not giving blank generalized, uh, you

know, support to conservatives or liberals, uh, that this, uh, would all be over. And you know what, uh, boo fucking who, if that does happen. Robert Smalles, for what he believed in, expressed what he believed in, if that man would enraged someone at the point of killing him, he lost shit all the time, then just fucking came back. And I'm worried that me expressing my thought out opinions,

you know, my cause, people stopped listing how weak actually. I'm disappointed in myself when I think about it that way. If this did all go away, and I'm not worried about that anymore, just so you know, I can be a little prone to paranoia. But if it did and the grand scheme of things, well, so what? It's a great ride and I'll always be grateful. Well, I'd be sad, sure, but you know, you know, soldier on. Would it be comparable to Robert Smalls trying to win an election when white supremacists were terrorizing voters of the booths? Fuck no. You know, would it would be comparable

to worried about the KKK might linch you or someone you love every day. You know, would it would be comfortable to worry about the KKK might linch you or someone you love every day, you know, do the divisiveness and stress of these times comparing anyway to what many Americans went through for most of this nation's history. Nope. I don't worry about some sadistic motherfucker legally whipping me or one of my kids or my wife, you know, because we got the wrong skin color to be out too late. I don't worry about someone literally selling my wife to some other slave owner who might then rape her and I can't protect her. Our things more culturally tense right now than they were pre pandemic. Yeah. Are the times still much better than they've been for the majority of America's history, the majority of the world's history.

Oh my God. Yeah. Thank you, Robert Smalls for a little perspective reminder. Thanks for the admirable life you led. The example you you said It's nasty and fucking grit. You displayed and Thank you to all the historians who helped document his remarkable life so that his legacy will never be forgotten you kept on trucking Right, I guess we should all do the same. What's the alternative to just soldier on hail Robert mother fucking smalls All right That's his story now before today's top five takeaways, I'd like to review what 2021 was like for me and for bad magic here in some ways. So many thoughts. Remember when I had such high hopes for 2021 at the end of last year?

And then 2020 started off with a capital right? We're just storming of a national capital ever I think, fucking QAnon, Shaman, what? So surreal. I Did not see that coming, but maybe I should have did not see the cultural divisiveness deepening here in 2021 Probably should have seen that too though After the craziness of 2020, I think a little emotional optimism convinced me that everything was just gonna magically turn around when the calendar flipped over to the next year That we were like almost like we were like owed it, it somehow, which is such nonsense, wishful thinking to say the least. Why have things gone in the direction they've gone in 2021? Well, people kept dying from COVID for starters and the large media conglomerates and politicians trying to figure out how

to spin all the turmoil into their advantage. It's not helped. I talked about how overly negative the media can be a few years ago in a TEDx talk, right? If it bleeds, it leads. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while.

I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while.

I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. I've been on the phone for a while. is presented in the most terrifying, most biased way possible or just straight up false. Let me hit you with the huge numbers of cases when that's the scariest. Maybe leave out dropping mortality rates.

If that doesn't seem as scary, let me focus on how transmissible the new variant is, but not on how it's less lethal because that's not negative. Let me focus on how vaccinated people are still dying and act shocked, even though that was always going to be the case, right? See exhibit flu shot every fucking season. Let me not focus on new promising, extremely effective antiviral treatment regiments. Fear, fear, fear, right?

Stay afraid. Keep reading, keep watching, keep clicking to feed the ad dollar based, you know, algorithm. Afraid that liberals now in charge want us to live in some type of Orwellian nightmare. We'll let me frame mandates, not as public health issues but as Anti-freedom to toiletarian control pro socialism pieces Let me make you think any form of socialism will lead to communism Let me make you believe that we're in a mask getting a shot makes you a fucking coward sheep on patriotic week, etc So much manipulation. So of course there's gonna be so much angst

So much shit said this year for political optics and party strategy and to help big media make more ad dollars. And think about all this at the end of the year puts me in a mindset of patience and grace actually, not being sarcastic. Now puts me in a mindset of working on trying to become more understanding. I wrote a lot of understand up this fall.

Also scrapped a lot of it despite getting laughs and applause because on further reflection it didn't feel fair. I've been thinking about what's fair more lately. I went hard on those not wanting to get vaccinated for a while, but can you really blame anyone for being skeptical of big farmer right now? See exhibit Purdue and the opioid epidemic. It was in a pharmaceutical companies as interest, right, to push drugs on people, even when it was very dangerous to do so,

so they can make billions and billions of dollars. And now other big pharma companies making billions and billions of dollars, something else, and we're supposed to just inherently trust them now. How much had big pharma made this year? Thanks to selling vaccines. I mean, check this out. Back in July, Pfizer projected its COVID-19 vaccine to bring them roughly $34 billion in revenue this year, putting them on course to become one of the best selling or, you know, their vaccine on course become one of the best selling medicines of all time, over $1,000 a second, almost $64,000 a minute, over $91 million a day. That's a lot of fucking money.

Am I saying the vaccine doesn't work? No, I'm not saying that. Please don't hear that. I'm just saying that it's not so crazy to be concerned when there's so much financial incentive to tell everyone something's harmless, even if maybe it's not. And this is coming from somebody who got the Pfizer shots. So again, please don't misunderstand me. I'm going to say that yelling at people who are scared and telling them they're stupid for being

concerned, where does that get anyone and is that fair? And I'm guilty doing that myself fair amount. And as a lowly meat sack, I'm sure I'll do it more going forward. But what I'm trying to learn from 2021 is to see the other side of an argument and to act with more grace and humility when people present arguments and perspectives that I don't understand necessarily or I think are wrong. And again, you know, both political parties and the media, they've done such a terrible job with that, you know, just attacking each other all the time, just spinning shit and making people worked up all the time. You want to see some really terrible spin, a shocking amount of spin, really looking to the written house trial. See how a narrative of white supremacy was 100% fabricated by journalists pushing an extremely biased agenda and to what end to piss people off to outrage people, right?

Even if the outrage and the anger is based mostly in lies because if you truly outraged, you know, you'll fucking read more articles, you'll click more, you'll watch more shows, you'll give them more ad money. And if you're outrage right now, for me, just even saying that, well, you'll fucking read more articles, you'll click more, you'll watch more shows, you'll give them more ad money. And if you're outraged right now for me, just even saying that, well, then they fucking got you. Please do a true deep dive before sending me any emails. There's some shocking shit. And it's one of many examples, so much spin.

So many people playing to what they think their tribes talking points are supposed to be instead of actually stopping thinking for themselves, looking to the other side of the argument, evaluating things fairly. Right. What's that saying? Never let truth get in the way of a good story. There's so much that going on right now. So of course, conspiracy culture continues to rise. Right.

We're being actively manipulated. Not by lizard people or satanic illuminati forces, Chan and wearing fucking robes and shit. That's the cartoon version. That's the dumb down distracting with some silly bullshit version. We're being manipulated by companies to be holding the Wall Street and politicians to be holding to those companies to get the money they need to campaign and keep their careers going.

Money, it's almost always money. You know, you think some media outlet who knows that 90% of their audience is, say, liberal is going to risk losing a big chunk of that audience to report on a story that doesn't line up with recent party and woke talking points. Now, there's too much fucking money to take. And same for media outlet on the right. Most of my opinion don't really tell stories objectively, it's not in their financial interest. White police officer saves black lives in domestic disturbance situation. Pass, right? Doesn't fit the narrative for a lot of media companies. White police officer shoots and kills young on our black man.

Let's run that story nonstop for six months, right? Why to promote social justice or to sell more ads to get people angry or money? Almost always money, stay pissed, stay scared, keep fucking clicking. One of the many examples of how shit is so continually spun. Now does that mean that I think that every politician's corrupt and every public-traded corporation

and big media conglomerate are all morally bankrupt? No. It just means that the system is flawed as all systems are and it is good to be aware of those flaws, right? So we cannot be as manipulated by them and hopefully help correct them. Wish I had some answers on how to do that, right? Take more than a few hours of this jackass doing some year end reflection to come up with those solutions. I do know part of the answer lies in, you know, needing more politicians to have the fucking balls or lady balls to step across party lines, stand up for what they actually believe instead of just treating legislature like they're, you know, a member of some fucking college sports team in a rivalry.

I know that more people being willing to hear a different point of view to reach their hand across the aisle, to break bread, listen, not just fucking yell is an important piece of the puzzle, right? Yell them on the other side, talking shit online, doesn't help. Think of our nation and culture as a marriage, right? Divorce a civil war. Does anyone really want that? I don't.

And if the goal then is to work together, would any marriage council recommend a couple standing across the room from one another and just fucking screaming insults at one another. You're fucking stupid, weak, racist, foolish, corrupt, motherfucker. Now that, no, that's like the last thing you're supposed to do. That takes an incredibly divisive situation and just makes it worse, causes each side to entrench themselves further in their disagreements. It's not going to ever fix shit. Any relationship, council, would tell you that.

So we need to move, any fucking decent one. I don't know what kind of maniac wouldn't. So we need to move away from that. And I think in time we will. Think about how broken the system was when Robert Smalls was inside of it. Think how far it's come since then. He dealt with so much divisiveness, ignorance,

irrational anger, kept people spouting lies, kept talking to people, kept working with people, people that he didn't agree with, right? He kept sitting on political committees with people he there's no way he could have agreed with them because these were people who often hated him for the color of his skin. And he didn't let that stop him from trying to work shit out trying to push ahead a lot of the shit you know he tried to pass didn't get past but he kept trying and he won some small victories and his battles inspired others in the future to keep fighting and then they would win larger battles as efforts never in vain.

So that's kind of where my head is at culturally at this moment. It's why I'm working on a new hour standup where I'm not going to pull punches, but I really want to make sure more than ever that the punches seem justified. That's a goal. Did not say inflammatory shit that just needlessly makes this shit storm of divisiveness worse. Right? I don't want to be a part of that. And that's what I want to do with, uh, you know, more of a time-stop in 2022. The primary goal always to be entertaining, to make learning something new actually fun. Second, I want to promote scene shift from different perspectives when that

seems reasonable. You know, well, that means I'll make fun of some stuff less. No. Just means I'll try and be fair and explain why I'm making fun of something. I've always tried to do that here, actually, you know, haven't always accomplished it, but I do try. Just a, this top of mind stuff right now, all that being said, uh, thank you for letting us have such a good, you're actually a really good year in so many ways and I am so grateful. Gratitude been on my mind a lot too.

Uh, having the kids at home from school still early this year, you know, I felt bad for them, not getting as much time with their friends as normal, but also I was like, well, it is what it is, what's the positive part of this. And the positive part is how much extra family time I got, and I fucking loved it. Selfish day, I was pretty fucking sad. When, you know, where they go to school in Washington,

kicked up again, and they went back in the fall semester, I was happy for them, but I was bummed for me. I loved that time. I didn't start touring again until August. So the first seven and a half months this year, I got so much family time. Anyone else feel weirdly grateful for the pandemic and that respect. I learned that I really don't need to travel all the time. I'm happy doing a lot of stuff from home. But then when I did start to travel again, I started to tour stand up. It was a fun bonus. It wasn't something I needed to do anymore, right? It was like a privilege, not a, not a chore that it used to feel like sometimes.

Nothing I ever, you know, hate is stand up, but you know, just traveling more than I wanted to many years. You all almost got me to quit doing stand up this year, thought about hanging it up at one point, not because I hated it, but doing several podcasts. It just kept me busy and kept me fulfilled. Um, you know, thanks to your support, thanks to you, you listed and some of you subscribing on Patreon, buying merch, et cetera, I didn't need to do stand up for the money anymore. So I didn't. I went back on the, on the road for fun primarily. And I'm so glad I did after you and a half refresh. I love stand up more than ever. So glad for the, the

pause, you know, I didn't, didn't know that I really need it. So hungry to try and get better, funnier, maybe insightful even, maybe more entertaining, hopefully darker possibly, maybe more darkness with more heart. That combo is that possible? I think so, I'm trying. So grateful for all that.

Yeah, life is always hard for some, but the past few years reminded me more than normal, just how hard life has been for a lot of people, a lot harder than normal. This year for our annual bad magic giving tree, where we buy Christmas presents for the children, families in need, so much more need than it was last year. Three times the emails from families asking

for holiday assistance, they came in, even though I think we were promoted at less. Lindsay went through all those emails so many times, you know, I saw her in tears. That's something else I think about now. When I see somebody angry or worked up or post in something that I don't agree with, pushing some, you know, narratives, I'm like, what are you doing? I think maybe it's ignorant or hateful. I do try now to stop and think like, what's going on in their lives? You know, maybe 2021 fucked them so hard. Maybe they lost loved ones. Maybe they lost their job, their house, their health.

I don't know where they're coming from. People coming from a lot of different areas of pain lately. And I'm trying to pause more before just ripping their fucking heads off. Circling back to the giving tree, one of the things I'm most proud of for 2021, we did here is how much we were able to give back thanks to patron donations of TimeZuck, scared of death listeners, and to personal donations on top of that from you listeners. You know, if you don't know, we give 20% of our subscription money to charity every month and then, you know, more than 20% in December when we're giving back to fans, we're able to raise 49,000 dollars for the giving tree. It was amazing. In 2021, in total, we raised 202,700 dollars.

in total we raised $202,700. I mean, holy shit. All time, we're up to almost $350,000. Now, besides the giving tree in 2021, we donated to IAVA, a rack in Afghanistan, veterans of America, rain, the rape abuse, incest, national network, the American Nurses Foundation, the Wild End Firefighter Foundation, support Surfside, Trinity Stables in Georgia, vintage pet rescue, the Occular Melanoma Foundation, the St. Bernard Project, the USC Shoah Foundation, no kid hungry, and the riggins Idaho EMTs. The last one, maybe feel especially grateful. And thank you for spreading the suck this past year, holy shit. Time sucks.

Monthly downloads went from two million a month to the end of 2020 to 2.5 million a month to the end of this year. Half a million extra listens a month. That's a lot. Scared to death downloads went from around a million a month to 1.4 million a month year to year. That's huge. Is we dumb listens went from four or five people a month to 10 to 15 people a month?

JK. JK. Just teasing, just teasing Joe. Who's not here? Zach's running the show right now. So I felt more comfortable even making that joke. No, they went from around $250,000 a month, or $250,000. $250,000 downloads a month to $470,000 a month. Overall, up to almost $4.5 million

total downloads a month for bad magic. Maybe we'll get to 5 million 2022. Maybe more. I hope so. It's fun. If not, still grateful. Next year, the goal is not going to be adding anything new to the mix other than the big gathering in August, which we didn't get to do this year, not in person again, because

the pandemic. Still no, have more details to announce in that right now other than plenty behind the scenes is underway going well. Lindsey is running that very excited for it. Other than the big gathering, 2022 is gonna be about refining what we already have. Some websites, some app updates, fixing this, publishing that.

Getting enough rest and family time to create more balance in my life is a huge goal of mine this next year. Because I want to stay passionate about what I'm doing here. And to do that, I got to do less stuff here. Spend less time creating content. Be more rested and excited when I am recording, I am creating. Not that I was excited this past year. Just realized that, you know, year after year of really, really late nights, I was up to four in the morning last night trying to figure

this out. Not good to do perpetually. The goal should be to work hard for a while, so you don't have to work hard forever, right? Trying real hard right now to, you know, figure out how to make these shows as good or better in less hours of prep each week. And if I can't do that, maybe in 2023, I'll have to pull back on some content so that the stuff that remains will be better. Figuring a lot of this shit out as I go as we all are here. So what were the episodes and jokes that resonated with you the most in 2021? I got the analytics and the emails to back all this up. Last year's recap with Victor Frankel, man search for meaning.

Got some great feedback. So many emails about Frankel's story, lighting fires, inspiring people, giving people the motivation to go chase their dreams, you meet sex, sending so much good stuff. Nimrod was so pleased. Then the Israel Keys episode in January, suck 20 2020 or 228, Jesus Christ, 228. Oh, that's where my dad was first revealed to be, you know, maybe a serial killer. Where is you right now?

I don't know. I might want to double check your door, make sure it's locked. Can't believe that joke is less than a year old. Feels like that's always in part of the mythology here in TimeSuck. Then DadWatch showed up in suck 234, right? The Alon School Suck. DadWatch, if you forgot, a 503C non-profit dedicated mythology here in time suck then dad watch showed up in uh... suck two thirty four right the a long school suck dead watch if you forgot a five one three-seed nonprofit dedicated solving dad

related crimes dad's or disappearing where all the corpses hide that's what that watch stands for most murders i mean are committed by dad always important to think about you know where's your dad now you know where is your dad wins a major crimes occurred uh... right before dad watch dropped uh... there was a Armenian genocide, got so many emails over that. When so many listeners, families touched in the worst of ways by that terrible tragedy, so many people grateful for that tragedy being given more exposure, right? That tragedy that the Turkish government, you

know, works hard to keep hidden to this day. Another episode that seemed to resonate with so many of you was episode 235, Ward Motherfucking Hall, Papa Ward. I didn't think that was going to get nearly the amount of downloads it did. You know, such a great man. So, great for you. Let me honor his life in that way. Learned so much about the area I grew up in. That was very special to me. Then there was episode 237, Robert Picton, the Pig Farmer Uh, the debut of, I would, I would have to say the least favorite character thus far. In the suck first, Mama picked in not a hit with many. Bapuwila! Bapuwila!

Mama's houseboot, eh? Brush for the front bud, for you kid mortals pig, Bapuwila! Uh, most divisive episode of the year, probably 241. Queue on in Antifa. Anything was going to be for some reason. A lot of feedback about how, yes, go hard on Q, but also should have went harder on Tifa. A lot of people very pissed off, which surprised me, you know, and Tifa, those slippery bastards, if only they would have left an equally obvious trail of IDC episode that most people nerded out over. That had to have been HP Lovecraft and Katoolu. June 21st, suck 249.

That episode launched the surprise at least to me, hit joke by far of 2021. Stop sucking your mom's dick, you banks are drilling mouth free, they're gonna get out there and do something with your life. Drink Whipple. Drowning in the sea to spare, sucking the motor paralyzing depression, we'll get the fuck over it. Watch your feeling down with some wipple. Cut a bad case to the Monday.

Fuck you. Fuck your family. Wipple. Knock one back and throw yourself off a cliff. You piece of shit. Wipple. New kicking cranberry flavor. Now available.

So that was fun. That was fun to do initially, but I was like, I don't know, this is gonna go. All because love, lovecraft's grandfather, a prominent industrialist just happened to be named Whipple Van Vuren Phillips. A most shocking episode, I think that's gotta be Fred and Rose West, holy shit. So dark, so much incest, so much! So much tag team torture and murder.

Remember the creepy ice cream truck driver? Hey, hey, little nippers! What are you having today? Want some soft serve? You like it hard? Ha! You like it hard, don't ya? All the little nippers like it hard? That's what my dad taught me! Who wants a nice cream sandwich?

Who wants a Fred West sandwich? You'll be the meat you will! Come on! Let's have some fun! Not a good summer day if you don't get pregnant! So that was a fucking creepy. Uh, then there was episode 254, uh, Jody Areas. You could some of day if you don't get pregnant. So that was a fucking creepy. Then there was episode 254, Jody Areas. So much poo-pull loop-pulling. That's when loop-pulling became synonymous with satami

here in the suck first. That's when we learned about the provo, at least I did, we learned about the provo float. Also known as soaking, parking, marinating. The provo float, if you forgot, is when a dude sticks his penis inside of a vagina, but doesn't move it or come. No thrusting, no grinding, no climax.

Just pop it and hold it still. Pop it in there. Why do that? Because then it doesn't count. Because that's a crazy rules that God makes. As you can put it in, just don't move it. And then it's not sex. Robert Williams sucked to 60.

That was a surprise hit. At least I was surprised. Downloaded very well for a topic that was not dark So many good messages regarding the the joy that Williams brought to many during his life and afterwards A lot of messages about the sympathy for his struggle with Louis body dementia and empathy Many people knowing someone struggling with that curse in their own families Another surprise. Maybe the biggest one to me suck two sixty two joe is witnesses uh... roughly three hundred fifty thousand downloads so far in counting most

downloaded episode so far more than any serial killer episode did not see that coming so many listeners writing with sad tales senator on primarily uh... you know the the two witness rule so much sexual abuse covered up and i have to imagine continues to be covered up that was a most shocking episode of the year for me overall. You know, not as dark in some ways, obviously, as Fred and Rose West, but just, yeah, just maybe

it's the most surprising, I guess. Truly just had no idea what can of worms I was opening there. Speaking of not knowing what I was getting into episode 265, the Dolphin Point Experiment. What the fuck crazy inter-species romance of Margaret and Peter? Sometimes she will be on her back in the bottom. Sometimes he will be underneath her. The positions are manifold.

They meet Belly to Belly with heads out of the water, while standing on their tails. He wraps himself around her, holding his flute in his own mouth. He can maintain an erection for around 20 minutes. What did we learn about dolphins in that episode? A, they're super horny. B, they get so sad when you break up with them. Next big topic that we got a lot of emails off of was the opioid suck. Suck suck 272 so many emails of those affected by opioid addiction. You know, we learned about Joe pays his he was open about his struggles with opioid addiction. We learned how insanely dangerous fentanyl specifically is. That's why I should not do alley coke with strangers anymore. Furthermore, you shouldn't also learn that not only do many of you like the Whipple commercials, you also like the Whipple Chill commercials. Whipple's new low energy cocktail.

Hey there. Wanna get low? What do you wanna do? What do you wanna do? What do you wanna do? What do you wanna do? What do you wanna do? What do you wanna do?

What do you wanna do? What do you wanna do? What do you wanna do? What do you wanna do? What do you wanna do? of uh Whipple, chill, cherry-colder-co-deen, mint chocolate-morphine, blackberry-black-tart-hero, stop worrying so much about everything, about anything, just be, just float on down here with me. So peaceful with a wipple. Chair. So there was that, there was the Menendez brothers. Remember those two murders and shrewd business men so good at business. Too bad Menendez investment enterprises isn't still around.

You could drain your retirement accounts and give it all to invest in fucking chicken wings for something uh... then earlier this month uh... two more popular you know uh... topics like uh... two seventy three in the hell's angels outlaw mc life got some very interesting messages from that one uh... that episode currently leading the race uh... which topic may get me killed or have my ass kicked at least uh... had to stop engaging with a few people in dm's before i ended up writing a check that my ass can definitely not cash. Then just a few weeks ago, the Ken and Barbie killers finally. Maybe that was the most fun in a weird way, because I finally got a chance to show off my top notch rap skills. So inspired by deadly innocences smooth flow. Mm-hmm.

Hope you had an entertaining year. Hope you enjoyed what we do here. Hope you see that I'm just trying to see clear. Not let my vision be clouded with fear. Just want to spread some cheer. Level up my content creator skills to the next tier! Grateful for the time you spent with me in 2021? Gonna do my motherfucking best! To make 2022...

Another fun! One! What new darks await? God! What new dark jokes await? Is what I meant to say My mush miles got in the way Will I still bitch about the blessing of having too much fun stuff on my plate

Will I say some shit to rower you way the fuck up as you wait for the next verse Yup yup yup yup yup Will I say some shit to bring your spearwits up up, yup, yup, yup, Thanks you motherfucking bad vegetians, I know I'm the worst rapper alive. Thank God you like this podcast. It's been a wonderful ride. Thanks for growing up, you know, with me. It's crazy, I'll show.

And now, to the time suck, top five, take aways. Time for us to glide. Gotta find the right button. I think it's on this other fucking screen. There it is. Maybe I should push it. Here we go. Time, shock, top five takeaways.

I know some of you think that it's entertaining for me to wrap like that, but I bet if you were in an interrogation room and I freestyle wrapped for, let's say, 10 plus hours, you'd fucking, you'd tell every secret, right? Just to have it stop. Number one, refocusing on Robert Smalls now. Robert was born in the slave quarters of plantation owner, Henry Sugar, Bridget McKee's home in Buford, South Carolina.

After the Civil War, Robert purchased his former and slavers home from self and his family. What a win. What a triumphant moment. Robert died in that same house in 1915 at the age of 75. Number two, at the age of 22 Robert Smals and accrued enslaved men stole a Confederate supply ship, the planter from Charleston Harbor. Duke 17 pastors with him, including his wife and children, the mission seemed impossible. They had countless obstacles, but they fucking did it.

It was get to the union blockade or die trying and they did not die. And then Robert Starrings came mid headlines all over the country. He became a national hero and a union Navy captain. Number three, Robert Small served in politics for most of his adult life. First in the state legislature, then in the house representatives, you faced many election challenges, internal battles with Democrats, racism and threats from hate groups. But you never back down and even challenge several elections themselves, despite the potential for violent backlash. Robert continually advocated for voting rights and anti discrimination

laws while he was one of the few black men in national positions of power at the time. He survived becoming a symbol of standing up against white supremacy. Number four, Robert Smalls, as well known for his brave or excuse me, Robert Smalls was well known for his bravery and determination. During the 1863 attack at Folly Island Creek, Robert took over the ship when the original captain fled below deck and then he piloted the ship to safety. His bravery in the war got him promoted to captain, a rank no black man had ever held before. And number five, new info when Robert Smalls

and his crew stole the planner, the officers who were supposed to be on duty and the ship had a lot of explaining to do. The officers in charge of the planner were arrested, court-martialed for negligence and disobedience to a general order. Relay on Hancock eventually released the blame placed on Ferguson owner of the ship.

Can't seem to find out exactly how he was punished, but Captain Raleia, that guy who's had small soul to help impersonate him, he was lost at sea between Charleston and Nassau in 1864. And that is all for the takeaways. Time, Chuck, tough, five takeaways. Robert Smalls in the 2021 recap have been sucked. Thanks to the Bad Magic Productions team for all their help and making time suck this past year. Queen of Bad Magic, Lindsey Cummins, Reverend Dr. Joe Paisley, Olivia Lee for the initial research this week. Big congrats to Olivia for just graduating from Clemson.

Woohoo, go Tigers. Thanks to Bit of Lister for keeping the time suck app running smooth, Logan the art warlock Keith, our creative director creating the merch, badmagicmerch.com, running the socials with Liz, the Enchantress Hernandez, who runs the Cult of the Curious Facebook 2, private Facebook page, with her wonderful all-seeing eyes moderators. Thanks to Zach, the script keeper for setting

the producer's chair this week, Paul Joe is out of town, recorded this one, a couple of secret sucks, couple scared to death. He's been a recording machine on top of his trivia research and other duties this week. And thanks to beef steak and the mod squad, keeping all the meat sacks happy over on Discord. Kicking off 2022 now with some sex, fuck yeah, bro,

let's talk about next week's episode. Hey, I lose to Fina, the Patreon space that's voted in the topic of prostitution in the sex industry. Sometimes called sex work, but using the term prostitution specifically, because we'll be talking about the act of selling sex for money and act as old as human civilization itself. Records of prostitution go back to 2,400 BCE in Samaria. And prostitution has been prostitution has been present in every culture since. It was probably around some form thousands of years before some area. Perceptions of prostitution are based on culturally determined values that differ substantially

between societies. And some societies prostitutes have been viewed as members of a recognized and respected profession. In others, they've been shunned, reviled, punished, with stoning, imprisonment, even death. Some societies have celebrated prostitution at times, shundered at other times, or even at the same time, and Europe during the Middle Ages, church leaders attempted to rehabilitate

pentanate prostitutes and fund their doweries. Nevertheless, prostitution flourished, and most people seem to think it was necessary to keep the social order. In 1300s, Italy, one city declared prostitution indispensable to society. That belief continues to be held in many countries today. Amongst predominantly Muslim countries, Turkey's legalized prostitution made it subject to a

system of health checks for sex workers. I was shocked when a researcher Sophie Evans found that out. On the US more socially liberal than Turkey by far in most ways, prostitution remains illegal, except for a few counties in Nevada. Why is that? Even though prostitution has been around a long time, there are still so many questions around it. Even more so as we've gotten into the digital age, should it be legal, should it be regulated,

should it be accessible on the web? Does it hurt those who engage in it? Does it help them both so much to talk about, so much historical insanity and modern-day ethical questions to wrestle with? And that is how we're kicking off 2022 next week. You're on time, so. And now let's end 2021 completely with this week's time, sucker updates. Updates, get your time, sucker updates.

I'm going to start off addressing last week's popcorn debacle. Golden Huckabee sweet lap Appalachian sack writes Hello Lord sucking tin on high. I've been a time suck listener for years And I love what y'all do to keep me learning and always curious I'm listening to the Appalachian cryptid's episode and just got to the part where you played some audio of popcorn Sutton talking You asked what are the odds that popcorn knows how to make moonshine and you couldn't have been more spot on. And each Tennessee in the surrounding areas popcorn Sutton was a minor celebrity because

of how good the moonshine he made was. There have been several shows and documentaries made about him. Google is name if you are interested and he lived a very interesting life and always spoken that deep appellation accent. Just thought you might want to know you were spot on when you assumed he knew a little bit about some moonshine. Keep up the good work and I'll keep on sucking. Thanks, Colton Huckabee.

PS, my wife and I actually saw your set at Stand Up Live at Huntsville, Alabama on our honeymoon in March of 2020, right before everything shut down. It was hilarious, helps soften the blow that our honeymoon cruise was canceled, so thank you for that. PPS, not apologizing for the long message. Well, thank you, Colton. Yeah, man, don't apologize right out what you need to So glad you had fun. I'm a last show to 120 and thanks for the heads up about about popcorn

You should in the first popcorn related message alerted me. He was more than just a dude with funny nickname He was legend. I guess popcorn comes from the type of grain he preferred to make his moonshine with Happy New Year. Happy New Year, dude Now another popcorn message from an anonymous Appalachian sucker who writes, Hail Almighty Suck Master McSuckie. Listen to your Appalachian Suck. Just wanted to say, you better put some respect on good old Jim Tom and popcorn Sutton's name. Quick search will show that these two are freaking moonshine legends. Love the podcast, man. Thank you. Anonymous Appalachian. Yes. Jim Tom Hedrick, also legendary moonshiner from a bio of his up at Sugarlands.com.

Jim Tom is a master storyteller and still maker. Over the years, he has become one of the most skilled moonshiners in Appalachia and his original handcrafted spirits were in high demand throughout the South. Today, Jim Tom has passed in his lifetime of experience onto a new generation of distillers. Well, he'll popcorn and hail Jim Tom and happy new year. And now before ending on something softer, another parental murder message from horror sharing anonymous sack or a horror sharing anonymous sack who writes, dear supreme sucker and the rest of the suckstaff just wanted to add you're probably rapidly growing story collection

of all people killing both their parents. I knew a kid growing up who at 21 years of age shot both of his parents in the head using a 22 rifle because it wouldn't give him five bucks for gas. He then just put their bodies in the garage and left them there for the day or two before he was caught. Thankfully Dennis Markov from Aikwam was constant now serving 55 to life. I definitely wasn't close to this fucking creep at all. My only real memories of the guy are him showing people is dick and first grade.

And later going to see the fellowship of the ring with a group of kids from a high school class and being caught masturbating in the theater. Probably not exciting enough for the air, but please leave my name out of it if you do read it. Much love to the whole bad magic team. Yeah, did he? That was definitely exciting enough. Did he jerk off during the fellowship with the ring or did you I'm thinking he did just to make sure what an odd movie to jerk off to Maybe I guess the dude likes a sexy elf one of these like beating it in prison now to the pictures of people like Renaissance Ferris he's smoked or something the other message. Yeah, plenty exciting enough to cheer on air and yeah The kids shot his father three times in the back of the head then waited for his mom to arrive home Then shot her in the back of the head as well for five bucks and gas.

The fuck weird that the kid jerking off to fellowship with the ring who whipped his dick out in first grade was mentally unstable. Well, thank you and have a happy new year to you as well. And now one more appellation message from Blue Ridge sack Jordan trip who writes, dear master sucker, I'm a native of the Blue Ridge mountains of North Carolina and a proud app, a latch in pronounced the correct way as the internet poll indicated. Just wanted to say I loved hearing you talk about my wild and crazy hillbilly ancestors. I didn't even mind the over the top red neck voice because let's be honest.

That's a perfect representation of a lot of people I know, including some of my best friends. It was refreshing to hear someone talk about the region as culturally rich and historically relevant. Too often, we're treated as a flyover region, grouped all together, we're thrown in with the rest of the American Southeast. It was great to hear someone acknowledge how huge and diverse of an area Appalachia is. Appalachia has huge cultural, social, and economic importance to the U.S., but too often

outsiders resort to dismissing the entire region with horribly overused hillbilly stereotypes. The beginning of this episode made me feel incredibly seen as a native appellation and I'm sure I'm not the only one. Keep on sucking, Jordan. I love hearing that Jordan. Yeah, man, we meet sex or diverse bunch. Prone to tribal tendencies, of course, we're a herd species, but also unique. An endless individuality found within each race and region.

Happy new year. And wrapping things up now was something selfish. I really do try and get better at all this. And I never wanted to just coast and think like, I got this. I hope I always try and get better. And this was just a nice message of affirmation for me just to get as I reflect back on this year from sweet sack.

Melanie H. Vadea writes, long time list turns space. to get as I reflect back on this year from sweet sack, Melanie, etch of audio, rights? Long time list in space, so they're just going back through some of the early episodes I missed and I want to tell you how much you've evolved over the years. It was never bad, but my God, how you've grown. You found your voice and settled into yourself as Dan Cummins, the man, not the comedian,

in such an awesome way. I will intentionally listen to an early episode, then a recent episode to hear the difference because it's remarkable. You have this raw, intense, self-effacing, genuine, new aspect to your earliest episodes. And then it's time passes. You add these amazing characters and intros and side bits and recurring sketches that have transformed your podcast and it's something truly unique and impossible to copy.

It has been truly awesome to witness. And I just wanted to let you know that we notice. Keep up the good work. Meet Sack. Numero Uno. You know what? Oh, up the good work. Meet sack numero uno. You know what? Oh, oh, no, sorry. I jumped ahead. You had a little bit more to say.

You give the rest of us hope that we too can often find our path. Hey, Lucifer, in a praiseable jangles, many thanks to the most high Nimrod for leading us to time. So peace out. Fucking love you, Melanie. Thank you for taking the time to write and send that. Truly means a lot. If I'm feeling down on beating myself up,

you know, feeling like my mouth is too mushy that week, I hope to remember to read your message again. You made this maniac feel very good. Peace out to you as well. Peace out to you all and happy new year. 2021, I hope it brought you, hope it brought you some good stuff and I hope 2022 brings you more good stuff.

Thanks, time suckers. I need a net. We all did. Thanks again for listening to another Bad Magic Productions podcast, MeetSex. Did it? Made it through another year? Another 52 Monday episodes in the bank. Thanks for letting me get paid to do it, I love. I get the fuck out of here. Spend some time and join whatever you, uh, I have to feel thankful about right now. Reflect on your own journey this year. You beautiful, important, faith in humanity restoring bastards, and keep on sucking. And magic productions.